#I’m feeling so emo tonight | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lordprettyflackotara · 24 days

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living room flow || Matt Sturniolo

smut 18+, minors dni | a/n: i thought the ending was too emo so i made it just a tad haha. also, first time writing for matt? w? L? thoughts?

Matt patiently waited for you to text him.

He always did, eagerly checking his notifications constantly.

Matt knew that when you texted him that it would only be for one thing.

The brunette sat by his phone as he usually did, trying to distract himself by poorly playing fortnite.

“Hey bro you good? You’ve died every game,” Chris asked. Matt hesitated his response, knowing his affair with you was to be kept hidden. You had no intentions of a relationship and zero intentions of your late nights with Matt getting leaked to anyone. To Matt’s dismay, that included Nick and Chris.

“Yeah man i’m just-” Matt began to respond, setting his controller down. It was in that moment his phone lit up, the satisfying vibration catching Matt’s attention. He grabbed it immediately, unlocking it to read the notification.

Hey, you game tonight?

Matt smiled at your words, quickly texting you back that he was, as always. “I’m just tired, i’m gonna hop off and try to get some sleep,” Matt rambled, excusing himself from the game. The brothers exchanged quick goodbyes, Matt jumping off of the game immediately.

Be there in five

Matt frantically sprayed on some cologne, running his hands through his messy hair. As sneaky as possible he crept down the stairs, careful to not alert his brothers of his presence. You never knocked on the door, always carefully waiting for Matt to open it.

By the time Matt opened it you were going feral. You walked into the house, planting your lips onto his. Electric waves of pleasure shot up his spine, his brain barely functioning enough to remember to shut the front door. Matt smirked into the kiss, roughly matching your energy. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you.

He began tugging at your shirt, causing you to pull away. “Here? What about Chris and Nick-” You whispered. Matt helped you take off your shirt, his eyes full of lust as he eyed your breast. “Better be quiet then, hmm?” Matt replied, leaning forward once more. He cornered you against the kitchen counter, tilting your head to the side to give him access to your neck.

He began sucking and licking at your skin, littering it with what you were sure to be love marks in the morning. Covering you in marks was the most possessive Matt could be with you, your agreement to this in the first place centered around no strings attached. You never packed any clothes, you weren’t that lonely, but you did like Matt. Matt knew as soon as both of you had came, you would be going.

It was apart of the reason he took his time with you, trying to draw out the amount of time you’d spend with him. His large hands snaked their way down to your shorts and panties, yanking them down in a swift motion. You could feel your cheeks blushing red, even if Matt had seen you in this position dozens of times. He was always so creative and kinky, you never knew what to expect from him. You would’ve never guessed when you had met him.

You unclasped your bra, leaving your body completely exposed to the feral man in front of you. Matt was quick to lower himself to his knees, lifting you to sit on the kitchen counter. The marble was cool against your skin, goosebumps rising as Matt kissed in between your thighs. “I need you to be good and quiet for me, can you do that?” Matt asked you. You nodded, your breath hitching as he spread your legs.

He lifted your legs, placing them over his shoulders as he licked a stripe up your cunt. You held back a moan, your hand finding its way to his hair. “Matt,” You whispered, his eyes meeting yours. You were so pretty like this, when you were absolutely desperate to be touched in the slightest way. Matt began lapping at your cunt, sucking at your clit. Your thighs squeezed his head, your sinful noises muffled as you grinded against his face.

Matt brought two fingers to your cunt, knowing you enough to know you were impatient. You enjoyed the feeling of getting stretched out, even if it took you a moment to adjust. But Matt’s fingers had been in you so many times now, he felt like they felt perfectly. “Better keep quiet slut, wouldn’t want them to hear you, would you?” Matt taunted. You bit the inside of your cheek, shaking your head no.

Your walls were squeezing around his as he curled his fingers inside of you, finger fucking you aggressively. That was another thing Matt adored about you. You liked it just as rough as he did. Matt admired you as he watched you struggle to contain yourself. “Or would you like that? Maybe Chris could join. You’d like that, wouldn’t you slut?” Matt asked mockingly. You quietly groaned his name as you tugged at the roots of his hair.

Your walls involuntarily squeezed at the idea of taking both him and Chris, causing him to smirk. He brought himself to his feet, towering over you as he relentlessly finger fucked you. “Oh you like that. You want me and Chris to use both of your holes?” Matt whispered. You let out a soft moan, a familiar knot forming in your stomach. Your brain was slowly turning to mush, your body drunk on the pleasure Matt was giving you.

“Answer me whore, I asked you a question,” Matt growled, glaring down at you. You met his eyes as he studied you. You nodded yes, afraid if you spoke the filthy sounds you were holding in would be unleashed. Matt brought his spare hand to your throat, his rings cool against your skin as he choked you. “Words baby, tell me what you want,” Matt said as lovingly as he could muster. He loved to watch you humiliate yourself for him, babbling filthy nonsense fantasies.

“I-I want you and C-Chris to use me,” You stuttered, trying to keep your groans under control. You grabbed Matt’s wrist, moaning as he squeezed your neck. “I’m gonna cum, fuck i’m gonna fucking cum,” You whispered. You grinded your hips on his hand as he was knuckles deep inside of you, euphoria washing over you as you came on his fingers. Matt smirked as he watched you come down from your high, slowly removing his fingers from your cunt.

You panted as you watched Matt remove his shirt, gasping in surprise as he picked you up off of the counter. He laid you down on the couch and you silently thanked him for putting you on the velvet one. He leaned back, beginning to tug down his plaid pajama pants. “You sure you’re going to be able to be quiet as I fuck you senseless?” Matt asked teasingly. You rolled your eyes playfully, helping him tug down his pants and boxers.

“If you don’t hurry up I might change my mind and go see if Chris is available,” You teased. Matt leaned over you, bringing his hand back to your throat. “You’re cute, but you belong to me,” Matt whispered. He brought his shaft to your aching cunt, your body melting at his words. You swallowed as he squeezed your throat, gathering your slick on the tip of his cock. “You’re all mine,” Matt muttered, pushing himself inside of you.

You both moaned in unison as he slowly slid into you, stretching you out as he buried his cock inside of you. His words barely processed in your mind, his tip brushing against your g spot. You struggled to remain quiet as he slowly began to move, involuntarily you moaned his name. Matt began to pick up the pace, releasing your throat and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.

You both were whimpering messes, his cock abusing your cunt to his liking. “You feel so good,” Matt praised, placing sloppy kisses onto your neck. You clung onto his back, your nails digging into his skin. He continued to fuck you, both of you losing yourselves in the pleasure the other provided. Matt almost didn’t hear the familiar sound of footsteps coming down the stairs, his eyes widening once he heard a tiktok playing from one of his brothers phones.

Shit.

In a swift motion Matt grabbed your hips, rolling both of you off of the couch and onto the floor. “Matt! What the fuck?” You whispered, your back slamming against the carpet. Matt shoved his hand over your mouth, placing his finger to his lips to signal you to be quiet. Your eyes widened as the sound of random tiktok audios rang off of the walls. Matt peeked around the couch, Chris’s face buried into his phone. As Matt moved he brushed against your g spot, your whimpering muffled by Matt’s hand.

Matt looked down at you, the fridge light illuminating the look of lust written across your face. Matt smirked. “You freaky fuck,” Matt grumbled, ensuring that only both of you heard him. Matt slowly bucked his hips, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as the sound of Chris rummaging through the fridge became background noise. The stairs were connected to the kitchen, surely the couch in the living room would provide you both enough privacy, right?

Matt listened intently as Chris grabbed a snack, his eyes glued to his phone as he went back upstairs. You could feel your orgasm approaching, Matt’s slow and sensual strokes sending you quickly to euphoria. The idea that Chris could catch you at any moment made your walls squeeze Matt tighter. The sound of Chris’s footsteps up the stairs slowly evaporated out of earshot.

“Fuck you’re milking me baby,” Matt groaned, picking up his pace. He snapped his hips into yours, your thighs trembling as you felt your orgasm approaching. Matt kept his hand over your mouth, your hand gripping his wrist as you came. Your thighs shook violently as you came, Matt’s thrust slowing down as he pulled out of you. He groaned your name as he jacked his cock in front of you, whimpering as he came on your stomach.

His cum painted your skin, his hand removed from your mouth as he looked down and admired you. Your heart was racing, your breathing slowly going back to normal as you came down from your high. “You’re so pretty,” Matt murmured. You gave him a weak smile, your head spinning as you slowly sat up. “Here let me help you,” Matt whispered. He grabbed a nearby tissue box, wiping your stomach clean and cleaning you up.

In less than a minute you were collecting your scattered clothes off of the floor and redressing yourself. Matt licked his dry lips as he pulled on his pajama pants, watching as you quickly shoved your clothes back on. “You know you don’t have to go, you can always stay the night,” Matt offered. You ran your fingers through your hair, giving him a small smile. You walked to the door, holding your sneakers.

“Maybe next time Matty,”

You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, before you disappeared into the night.

Matt watched you went, before slowly shutting the door.

As sneaky as he could he headed upstairs, gently closing his bedroom door behind him. He sighed. Out of disappointment you left, but also out of relief his brothers didn’t manage to hear anything out of the ordinary. Matt felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, causing him to quickly dig it out of his pants.

From: Chris

Next time you have a sneaky link over, try to not leave her clothes all over the kitchen. I almost slipped on her panties and fell. Not cool dude.

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slicedopen-hearts · 1 year

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i miss him already i wish we never had to be apart

#I’m fucking emo tonight ig #i feel so empty without him

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a-feelingsopeculiar · 1 year

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my first bad birthday in over a decade. guess it had to happen eventually.

#it’s just like #so incredibly exhausting realizing no one will ever go as hard for you as you do for them #and today just felt like #people were showing up for themselves #because they wanted to get their nails done and post a cute picture of themselves at a nice dinner #and not because they wanted to celebrate me #like I was talked over so many times tonight #at my OWN BIRTHDAY DINNER #I feel like I barely spoke a word #and it didn’t matter whether or not I was there #and I’m just really really sad #and I don’t have anyone to talk to about it #so I’m telling all of you #emo tag #personal tag

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sayoneee · 3 months

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☆ I WANNA BE YOUR MAN

“his band is playing tonight, at seven,” annabeth reminds you, with the knowing air of someone far wiser, and far older, “you should go.” (1.7k)

contains: loser older brother luke castellan x fem! reader. mortal au. pt 2 of parent trap but can be read standalone ish. guest appearances! rock / metal music references.

kashaf’s note: i think i can call myself a melomaniac now

LUKE CASTELLAN HAS always occupied that in-between space, the no-man’s-land between something and nothing — his indecipherable gaze as his cold, black, and blued knuckles grazed your cheek when he tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear swims around your mind endlessly. despite how each thought, each expression, each breath is as familiar to you as your own, you have never quite known where you stand with him, regardless of how quickly he seemed to inhabit a piece of your soul.

the familiar weight of the mixtape that luke made you feels unusually burdensome in your hands, mirroring the heft of the songs on it that you have painstakingly committed to memory, each sleepless night’s offerings of tossing and turning becoming a reoccurring ritual.

you had popped the tape in your walkman immediately after luke had handed it to you, incognizant of the way his eyes softened as you concentrated on the music, trying to identify the first song.

“this is that band you like — l.a. guns, right?”

“you’re a regular sherlock,” luke had said, smiling and sarcastic, twisting his silver rings.

“shut up, no i know this song,” you say, tilting your head and snapping your fingers. “its — um — i wanna be yours? nono, don’t make that face at me, asshole, hold on… i wanna be your man?”

hues of pink crept up his cheeks, and you basked in the warmth of his answering crooked grin, the feeling wrapping around you like the caress of a summer night.

you uselessly stirred the spoon in your now stone-cold cup of chai, leaning across the kitchen table with your head propped up in your other hand. the phone taunts you from its corner on the counter, sitting just by the clear jar of blue cookies, its black hue a beacon among the sea of greens (the cabinets, the tiles — you liked to tell sally that she should try her hand at interior design one of these days) — as of late, the jacksons’ kitchen has become somewhat of a refuge for you.

you set a steaming china cup down in front of him, listening to the sounds of percy, annabeth, and grover in the living room, pulling out the chair in front of him with a slight creak on the slightly worn wooden floors, and watching him as he taps his fingers along to bob marley’s soft crooning, “little darlin’, stir it up”, lost in his own world.

“luke,” you say, breaking him out of his revelry.

luke sits up straight, meeting your amused gaze, “yeah?” he asks, reaching for his chai, and mumbling a quiet thanks as he sips it.

“you look kinda stupid when you think,” you say, watching him blink before taking the bait, and hiding your smile of satisfaction behind your cup.

“y’know, this is why you have a black hole for a heart,” he says, grinning crookedly, filling you with an indescribable longing to reach out and trace his grin.

“what?” you laugh, “what does that even mean?”

“just that you’re mean,” luke says, and the afternoon sun chooses that specific moment to encompass him in its glow, like a kiss from apollo. “and that you’re emo.”

“you literally say this every time, oh my god, i’m not mean or emo.”

“because i’m literally right?”

“you like him,” annabeth says, sympathetically, standing in the doorway, arms folded across her chest, her braids resting across her shoulders, glancing from your untouched cup to your face, an expression of pity gracing her features. her presence caught you so off guard that you don’t even question where percy ran off to, who was usually attached to annabeth like a conjoined twin.

“i know,” you say, shivering slightly, the revelation feeling strangely empty, although you suppose the same part of your soul that recognized him had always known, a small inkling reappearing with every argument, and every nudge.

“he likes you,” annabeth adds matter-of-factly, interrupting your stream of consciousness.

“i know,” you repeat, picking at the lint on your sweater, and while this revelation is supposed to be shocking, it is also hollow, as you suppose your soul also knew this with every hushed conversation in the dead of night, and the slips of silence that only spoke volumes around him.

“his band is playing tonight, at seven,” annabeth reminds you, with the knowing air of someone far wiser, and far older, “you should go.” she turned and stalked back toward the living room.

you sat still for a minute or so, before sighing and putting luke’s mixtape (even in your misery, he is somehow always there) in your walkman, putting your headphones on as axl rose trilled, ‘i said, baby you been lookin' real good’ in his voice that took a while to get used to — something luke gave you a heads up on.

you sighed, conceding to annabeth’s attempts to rewrite whatever fate had pushed the two of you apart, from the hours-long phone calls that dwindled into short, clipped conversations, you can’t necessarily blame annabeth for trying to fashion a phoenix from the ashes of your friendship.

you stood up, grabbed your jacket off the back of the chair you were sitting upon, and walked into the living room, pausing for a few minutes to watch the scooby doo episode on the screen along with percy, grover, and annabeth, who were currently sprawled across the softly carpeted floor, arguing over monopoly.

“you’re literally cheating,” percy was saying.

“i’m the banker, i’m supposed to be innocent,” annabeth argued back.

“percy, i saw you steal a couple dollars behind annabeth’s back,” grover added, rolling the dice.

“guys,” you said, interrupting their three-way argument, “put on your jackets and shoes, we’re going to the fair in five minutes.”

you ignored the way the troublesome trio exchanged glances, walking through the hallway covered in framed photos of percy and sally, going to wait by the door for them.

“so,” percy says, all-too-innocently, “why the sudden change of plans?” once the four of you are a couple of blocks away from his apartment.

“no reason, just wanted to see what was so hot about the fair,” you say, digging your hands in the pockets of your jacket. once more, you ignore the glances the trio exchange.

“so it doesn’t have anything to do with a certain curly-haired individual that we’re currently seeing less and less of?”

you keep walking, trying to feign ignorance, although the question was so pointed even you were concerned with percy’s audacity, “what’re you talking about?”

“oh, nothing,” percy smiles. “just the way —”

“— the two of you —”

“— were inseparable —”

“— for a disgustingly long time —”

“— and now you’re not —”

“— but we’re going to the fair because —”

“— his band is playing —”

“— and you’re going to try and fix —”

“— your troubles in paradise.”

you blinked slowly, as the three of them did jazz hands, matching shit-eating grins on all of their faces, “how long did it take for you guys to rehearse that?”

“a week, give or take,” grover says, and annabeth shoots him a glare.

“not the point, the point is, we support you.”

“gee, thanks, all i really needed was the support of three twelve-year-olds.”

“three twelve-year-olds that know you’re stupidly in love with luke castellan,” percy points out.

“okay, y’know what…” you trail off, frowning.

annabeth nudged percy, “not the point here, again.”

“fine, fine, fine,” you huff, as the four of you approach the brightly illuminated fair, looking for the ticket-selling booth, “i’ll buy you guys tickets so you can go hang out on the rides and i’ll go to the concert.”

the three of them nodded happily, making a beeline for the cotton candy stand a few feet away. you shook your head before pushing through the bustling crowd to look for the concert stage. when you finally do find it, after three excuse me’s and four sorry’s, the concert is already in full swing, with what looks like a mini moshpit already forming somewhere near the center.

once you’ve pushed your way to the absolute front, the darkening night sky serving as a backdrop, the harsh lights illuminate all five individuals on the stage, with a gorgeous girl with shaggily-cut hair and a raspy voice singing as lead (thalia? you think you remember luke telling you on the phone late at night once). however, your gaze almost immediately fixed on luke, who was playing a riff on his electric guitar, looking as hot as ever, his crooked grin on full display.

the band is covering l.a. guns’ ‘i wanna be your man’ at the moment, and you’re suddenly very grateful to annabeth for her unsubtle nudges, because you would’ve missed out on this sight of luke castellan, the view of his muscled arms bulging out of his band tee is permanently seared into your memory.

you’re almost sad when the show is over though, finally realizing why luke liked concerts so much, from the crowd surfing to the drumstick tricks during solos (beckendorf, you think the drummer’s name was — luke had mentioned him before) to the lead’s insane vocals, to the girl with long curly hair that stood next to you for most of the concert (probably the band’s most enthusiastic fan), you savored every minute of it. however, you’re glad for the chance to corner luke afterwards, climbing onto the stage as the crowd begins to disperse in waves, and realizing the curly-haired girl was already among the band members packing up their instruments, helping the curly-haired bassist pack his things.

luke barely looks up at your sudden arrival. “what’re you doing here?” he asks, packing away his guitar.

“i’m here to see you,” you say, trying to drive the hint home.

“i told you that you didn’t have to come see the band if you were busy,” luke says, uncomprehendingly, making eye-contact with you.

“i like you,” you say insistently.

“c’mon, let’s not kid ourselves right now, you said we’re friends so you don’t have to try to make me feel better,” luke says, shrugging and looking away from your face, rubbing the back of his neck.

“i listen to your dumb mixtape every night, luke castellan. does a person who’s not into you do that?”

there is something so raw about the way he looks right now, with his expression stilling as his cheeks are colored in swathes of red.

smiling at his dumbstruck expression, you surged forward to kiss him, ignoring all the wolf whistles and “get some, castellan” enveloping the two of you, tangling your fingers into his hair, his hands coming to rest upon your hips.

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aesthetic-bbyg · 9 months

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HEY EMO BOY - Bill K.

In which you dedicate your performance to your celebrity crush, but he doesn’t know until the press gets ahold of it.

Bill Kaulitz x fem!reader

AUTHORS NOTE: this idea may be floating somewhere on somebody else’s blog but this I just came up myself so I’m not trying to copy nobody! I also had to change some of the lyrics for the sake of the story! Thx bbyg’s <33

Pt 2!

YOU LET OUT A HEAVY BREATH, finishing up the song, you reached down for the bottle of water by your feet, chugging the last of it. The concert has reached it’s final song, and you’ve got an idea that you’ve been planning for weeks. The crowd is still booming with shrieks, practically making the whole place rumbled. A grin appeared on your lips as you walked over to the microphone.

“Can you guys keep a secret?” You questioned as the crowd yelled in return, you giggled and a felt an overwhelming feeling of joy fill your body. “Well, I have a huge crush on this guy who totally doesn’t know I exist.” A string of boos followed after. “You guys may know him, he’s German, he’s the lead singer of a band, I believe he has a twin brother.” Within moments the crowd began to screamed, realizing who it was, there weren’t many German lead singers who have a twin brother, well..not that you knew of. You had a proud smirk on you face, bitting your lip to contain more nervous giggles from slipping out. “I think he suuper hot, so I decided to make a song about him, you guys ready?”

“Yeah!” At the sound of their approval the song immediately began to sound through the massive speakers scattered through the stage. You gripped the bedazzled microphone in your neatly manicured hands, the lights flickered with pretty pink colors, radiating your signature color as it reflected off your diamond studded belt. You couldn’t contain the large smile as you lifted the mic to your mouth.

“Saw this boy at the mall last week, got the kinda look to me me freak!” You skipped around the stage, your denim mini shorts riding farther up your thighs then it already was. “That long ass hair with the tightest jeans, my chemical romance on his tee.” You ran a smooth hand down your body, exaggerating your attraction towards him. “He looked so sick like he was dying, if I said he wasn’t hot then I’d be lying. Please, handsome, don’t be coy. Come on fuck me emo boy!”

The repetition of the lyrics echoed throughout the large stadium, it was actually hilarious how such a large crowd of people jumped and shouted come on fuck me emo boy, over and over again. You giggled, raising the microphone back to your lips, “This boy just unlike the rest, one look and I bitch I loose my breath. Wanna fuck in the back of the hot topic? Lift me up and then I drop it. He’s with his band, goin on tour. Should I go? Well, bitch, for sure!” Your favorite was coming up, it was a little explicit but what would be the fun if it wasn’t? “He might not look he gets bitches but honey that dick is eleven inches.”

With your pearly teeth out, your lips stretched into large smile you bounced around the stage, hearing the the beat blast into your ear drum. A collection of things were thrown onto the stage, it was a common reoccurrence during all your concerts. People would launched flowers, letters, bras, sunglasses, and far to many things that just piled up on the floor until you finished your set list and had all the gifts delivered to your dressing room. You admired your fans, the way their wristbands glowed in the dark night, the creative posters that were raised above their heads, it was hard to grasp onto it sometimes but the feeling never failed to make you proud.

“Hey, hey, hey emo boy!” The song had concluded, though the fans were far from quiet, you gave them a polite bow as the crew behind you began to pack up all the instruments. You were stuck in your spot, waving to all the giddy people who nearly broke down the barricade in excitement. “Thank you! Hugs and kisses to all of you who made it here tonight, I love you guys!” Your feet began to move towards the backstage, a part of you absolutely devastated that the show ended, but also relieved to get some rest. Although, before you could fully leave you jogged back over to the microphone. “And make sure to keep the song a secret from the emo hottie.” With that, you walked towards your assistant, Teresa, who held a bottle of water ready for you.

“You looked amazing, baby!” The dark haired girl giggled as you took the cool liquid and let it run down your sore throat.

“Thank you, I felt amazing!” You smiled, “Was the song good? It wasn’t too much, was it?”

“Absolutely not, the song was great, and I’m proud that you finally got around to preforming it.” Your assistant grinned, “It’ll definitely get his attention.”

“Yeah, well, that’s the goal.” You mumbled, looking over at your dressing room, ready to go in and remove all the makeup and heavy accessories you had on till you noticed that your name tag was gone from the front door. “Hey, what happened to my name tag?”

Teresa looked over, “Oh, they’re replacing it because Tokio Hotel is preforming here tomorrow.”

“What!” You nearly chocked on your water, eyes practically bulging out of your face as you stared back at your assistant. “Why didn’t you tell me that they were literally preforming here the day after me?”

“To be fair I didn’t know until they started moving stuff around.” Right as the words left her mouth a random man came over and slipped in a paper to the plastic cover on the front door. It wasn’t a mistake, the bold letter stated back at you: TOKIO HOTEL

“Well, I’m most definitely fucked.”

“BILL!” TOM PRACTICALLY ran across the tour bus, holding his baggy pants up in one hand while the other held a laptop. His twin sat on the couch, munching on a pack of sour candy. “Bill, you have to look at this!”

Bill stared at his brother with furrowed brows, wondering what has gotten him so giddy and grinning like a child. That was until the laptop was shoved in his face, some random article pulled up with some dramatized title that he didn’t even want to read. “What is this?”

“Read it!”

POP STAR, Y/N L/N WRITES EXPLICIT SONG TO GERMAN LEAD SINGER, BILL KAULITZ; COULD THIS BE THE START OF A NEW ROMANCE?

Bill’s fingers slid on the mouse pad, scrolling the through the article as his eyes quickly scanned the words in front of him. “This surely isn’t about me, Tom, it’s just fake news that they’re trying to shove down people’s throats.”

“Don’t be stupid, Bill, the y/n l/n is crushing on you and dropping subtle hints, hence, the song about wanting to fuck you.” Tom shook his brothers shoulders proudly, his grin wide.

A hue of red spread on Bill’s pale skin, clicking on the attached video that gave him the whole performance. Sure enough, there you were, singing a song about wanting to fuck an emo boy. “I don’t know, Tom.”

The oldest twin let out a groan, “Bill, she wants you, think about it. She’s our age and she says that the song is dedicate to a German lead singer who is touring with his band.” He had a good point, and that’s what made Bill smile a bit, it made a puff of pride filled his chest. “That’s what I’m talking about.” Tom laughed, “She wants you, Bill, and I wouldn’t want to pass up on that.”

“Enough.” Bill sheepishly smiled, closing the laptop and shoving into Tom’s chest, curling up on the couch as he felt a wave of heat wash over him. If the song was about him, and you meant what you said, then it really turned him on. He couldn’t help it, his already tight skinny jeans grew tighter.

“BILL, WHAT ARE YOURE opinions on y/n l/n new song about?”

“Bill is it true that you are y/n’s baby daddy?”

“Bill look over here!”

“Are you and y/n a couple?”

A flood of questions and bright, flashing lights came his way as he made his way towards the doors of the venue. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, attempting to move past the paparazzi and avoid there strange questions. His band mates followed behind him, struggling to keep up with him due to the crowding. He finally let out a breath of relief as he made his way inside. The flashing cameras replaced with colorful lights and the screaming substituted with the shaky bass of the music booming from the dance floor. Tom had already separated himself from the group, going off to the bar to try and find a new girl to bring to his hotel. Georg had dropped out, opting on talking with his girlfriend through phone all night instead. Gustav had also followed Tom to the bar, craving alcohol in his system.

The crowd of people were familiar, he had seen some of them at the event from before, there were many famous faces. Yet he stood by a wall, eyes looking around awkwardly, despite the many times he’d been to these events he always had to ease his way in throughout the night. After a few drinks he’d start getting loose, but for the moment he’d just scan the dance floor till he caught someone he knew.

That’s when he gaze was in trapped by a spark, a beautiful glow that confidently bounced on the dance floor, happily dancing. It was you, you were dancing with your friend, a half drunken drink in your hand while your swing your hips and shimmy you chest with a surge of confidence. The short dress having to constantly be tugged down your plush thighs, as you giggled, you felt something. A sense of being watched, but there was hundreds of people around, and a lot of them liked to stare.

You leaned into your friends ear, excusing yourself to the bathroom, you heels carried you to through the crowds of drunk people and to a small opening where you could go to the bathroom. Bill’s eyes watched your every move, were you coming towards him or was he fucking crazy? He nervously stared at you, your features became more clear, it was you. Y/n l/n. You were getting closer, he felt his breath hitch, what was he going to say? Well, he didn’t have to worry since you walked right past him, eyes not sparing him a glance as you rushed into a hallway. He furrowed his brows, staring as your figure disappeared, it was then that he noticed many people exiting and passing to enter the same hallway you just entered. He glanced up and saw the clear sight that read. RESTROOM.

He huffed, crossing his arms with a frown, maybe it was a sigh that he should talk to her but now it he had to wait till you walked back out. Finally, you left the restroom, shoving the lipgloss back into your bra and strutting out. You were excited to go back to dancing, a big smile on you lip, that was until a large hand wrapped itself around your wrist, tugging you back before you could go any farther. You looked back with furrowed brows, you had to crane you eyes up to look at who was the man behind the touch. You mouth went dry, eyes widening, your knees nearly giving out and dropping you on the dirty floor of the venue.

It was Bill fucking Kaulitz, the emo boy you made a whole song about. The song in which was leaked and slapped on every article with your name in the title. You were so happy that the lighting covered the blush that warmed your face. He leaned down, lips brushing you ear, hand still wrapped on on your wrist.

“Hey, I’m Bill.” His hot breath fanned against the shell of your ear, he could smell the faint scent of your perfume, it was intoxicating. “I like your music.” He pulled away, a smug smirk on his face as you swallowed the lump in your throat. His accent was much more hotter in person then it was in the interviews you watched on TV.

“T-Thank you.” You replied, but he simply gave you a confused look. You sighed, attempting to reach his ear, “I said thank you, I like your music as well.”

He nodded, “Thank you, it seems as though one of your songs has gotten quite popular, people have told me all about it.”

You needed to pull yourself together, this was a moment you’ve been waiting for and you couldn’t back down. So you rubbed your lips together, spreading the shiny, sticky gloss. You gazed up at him through your lashes, a flirty smile on your face. “Yeah, I was hoping you’d say.”

“Yeah?” He raised a pierced brow, “Why’s that?”

“You’re the only one I wrote the song for, of course.” You giggled, watching his expression change, he was surprised on how upfront you were about it. You were proud, cocky almost, it turned him on. “So, did you like it?” He nodded in response. “You wouldn’t mind doing what the lyrics say, do you?”

“No.” He replied, watching your smile widen. “I can take you back to my hotel and do exactly what you want me to do, schatz.”

You were getting giddy, you running a hand up his arms, staring up at his smoky eyes with lust. You bit your bottom lip, “Can you kiss me?” A small smirk played on his lips as he leaned down, leaving a slow kiss on your lips. Your hands were on his cheek, leaning up and desperately kissing his lips. His hands wandered, feeling you up in the tight pink dress you were in. Though his same hands seemed to favor a spot in particular, you ass, they ran up and down your sides before they eventually planted themselves there. His head was titled to the side, neck curved down to reach your height and to continue kissing your additive lips. He pulled away, lips sticky with you gloss before he trailed it down to your jaw and neck, his cheeky hands squeezed the flesh. You gasp, allowing him to suck lightly while the music blasted in your ears but it was all tuned out as you focused on the sensation of his tacky lips kissing your skin.

You were most definitely gonna fuck this emo boy tonight.

Y’ALL WANT A PART TWO W SMUT? Either way I’ll probably write one bc this game out better then I expected🤭🤭🤭

#bill kaulitz imagine #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #hey emo boy #bill kaulitz fic #bill kaulitz x you #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz smut #Tokio hotel imagine #fluff

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wandanatrules · 4 months

Text

Locker Room

Pairing: shy nerdy g!p wanda maximoff x popular cheerleader reader

This is the fic for the request I got literally so long ago I’ll put the request as the summary, I just started winter break so i’m gonna try to write sorry I haven’t posted in forever school has been on my ass

summary: Hiiii, I saw that you were taking requests and I just had to ask, could you do awkward emo!wanda and cheerleader!r where they’re both in high school or college and wanda likes r nd gets all shy and embarrassed around her, so r takes advantage of this and tries to make her as flustered as she can..and wanda

can’t take the teasing one day so she builds up the confidence to ask her out which eventually leads to them having sex in the girls locker room 🤭

warnings: wanda has a penis, oral (w receiving), heavy make out, smut, foul language, there isn’t really that much smut sorry

Even in her sophomore year of college Wanda was still nervous to talk to girls. She wasn’t the most social person, which played a part in it. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive enough to get girls, believe me she was.

She had an athletic build and long flowy hair. She ran track in high school and ever since then maintained the abs and the muscles she acquired from that, by joining the soccer team in college. Wanda was the MVP player, which gave her a lot of female admirers. Many of the females at her games, especially the cheerleaders, would make passes at her but she was too oblivious and shy to notice.

Ever since freshman year the only person that Wanda had her eyes on was you. You were on the cheerleading squad, and well known for your looks and popularity. You also liked Wanda, but for some reason she always rejected your advances.

Tonight was the celebration party for the girls soccer team after winning the tournament. The whole team and all the cheerleaders would be there.

Wanda was nervous to go knowing that parties weren’t usually her scene. Even though she was expected to go since she scored the winning goal and led her team to victory.

You and the other cheerleaders were in the locker room getting ready, before you left for the stadium to join the party.

“I’m gonna try to get with Maximoff tonight” you said to your friends while finishing up your makeup.

“Oh, really?” your friend Maria asked, “She’s so nerdy and shy and awkward all the time.”

You smiled and thought back to a couple of days ago when you tried to flirt with her.

Wanda was standing outside of the soccer locker room, right after practice. She was wearing a muscle tee showing off her toned arms and covered in sweat.

“Hey Wans.” You said to her after sauntering over to her, while putting your hand on her arm. “You looked real good during your practice.”

Wanda’s face turned red and she felt herself getting nervous again. “Oh thanks y/n.” she said while nervously playing in her hair, “I was working on my form for the tournament.”

“Yeah, I bet you're gonna win it for us Wanda, and when you do i’ll give you something to celebrate.” You said in her ear with a seductive voice, before walking away with a sway to your hips.

Wanda let out a deep breath after you walked away, cursing herself after feeling her erection hardening.

As you reminisced in the memory of how cute Wanda looked all flustered you couldn’t help but wait for you to get to the party and see her. You just knew that tonight would be the night you would get your hands on her.

It was later that night and Wanda was talking to her friends from the soccer team, while nursing a drink at the party.

“I’m telling you Wanda, she wants you.” Natasha said, trying to convince her to go over and talk to you.

“No I don’t think so, she’s just friendly.” Wanda insisted while looking over at you.

You were at the other side of the party making eye contact with her, while seductively sucking your straw between your teeth. You lifted your hand and waved her over.

Wanda tensed and looked behind her, not believing you were beckoning her.

“She wants you, you idiot.”, Natasha laughed, as she shoved her over to you. “Good luck.” , she called out behind her

Wanda nervously walked over to you, wiping the sweat off of her palms on to her pants.

“Hi Wanda.” You husked looking up at her with your best doe eyes. “Let’s dance.”, you said, putting your drink down and leading her to the dance floor by the hand.

The song had just happened to change from some loud rap music to a slow and sexy RnB song. You used this to your advantage as you wrapped her arms around your waist and began to sway.

Wanda, tensed not knowing where to put her hands, trying to be respectful of her touches. You sensed this nervousness and placed her hands on your butt.

“You know Wanda, literally everyone has hit on me and asked me out except you. I’ve never had to make the first move like this. Do you not think I'm pretty, Wanda?” You said with that sickly sweet voice that drove Wanda crazy and iginitied a stir in her pants.

“Oh, no y/n definitely, i think you're absolutely gorgeous.” Wanda said nervously, careful to not hurt your feelings.

You turned around to face her with a smile, “That’s exactly what I was hoping you would say. You better come with me so I can give you your surprise for winning us the game.

You took her hand and led her through the crowd out of the party, into the locker room. You pushed her against the wall and kissed her roughly, grabbing handfuls of her arm muscles and abs.

“You know Wanda, I love when I talk to you after soccer practice. When you’re all sweaty and your muscles are all pumped. I use that time to tease you and get you all worked up, and secretly watch you sneak back into the locker room to take care of your little problem.”

Wanda’s lips parted when she felt your hand grip her length and slowly rub up and down.

“Damn Wanda you’re so hard.” You whispered in her ear. “You gonna fuck me?”

Wanda stammered too nervous to respond, lost in the pleasure of you rubbing her length.

“Or did you want me to fuck you?” You said with a smirk as you pushed her down onto the bench with a hand on her chest.

“Yes ma’am you can do whatever you want.” Wanda said repeatedly nodding

You slowly pulled down your panties from under your dress and threw them at her before loosening the straps on your shoulders and pulling the dress down.

Wanda put the panties in her pocket before you pulled her belt off and ripped her pants and boxers down.

You gripped her length, roughly stroking it up and down. Loving the way her face contorted in pleasure and over stimulation. You looked up at her with those big round eyes as you slowly sucked the tip between your lips, before going deeper and deeper.

“FUCK y/n” Wanda groaned thrusting her hips up into your mouth as she holds down your head. The muscles in her arms straining she roughly fucks your mouth. You hold onto her chest to brace yourself as you move your mouth faster.

“Damnit fuck that was so good y/n thank you” Wanda said flustered trying to catch her breath

“That’s so cute Wans, you don’t have to thank me.” You said looking up at her with a smile while licking your lips. “But I do know how you can repay me”…

#natasha romanoff smut #wandanat #fanfic #fiction #smut #wanda x y/n #wanda maximoff smut #scarlet witch #beefy wanda #wanda maximoff angst #wanda x fem!reader #wandavision #wanda maximoff fluff #shy wanda #wanda fanfic

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matts-k1tten · 2 months

Text

𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐞. pt.4

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3

summary: y/n finds her boyfriend (now ex) Chris cheating on her at a party and vows to make him feel the way she did..

warnings: Slighttt angst very little, make outs (no actual smut this part sorry guys), arguing, foul language. That’s all I think lemme know if I missed anything.

green: Mia

pink: y/n

orange: Chris

blue: Matt

purple: nick

red: body guard

———————

“I have another idea.” Mia says from beside me.

I don’t even get to answer when she cuts me off.

“Before you say anything, I want you to be calm.”

I nod for her to keep going.

She takes a deep breath in. “So you know how Chris has brothers, right? One of his older brothers, Matt is one sexy motherfucker. So what I’m saying is, you fuck him since you want to hurt Chris. Sleeping with his brother will hurt, right?”

I laugh in her face.

“Mia! What makes you think I have a chance with Matt? He’s always busy and I haven’t seen him in months!” I say still laughing.

“Well I did a little research and found out that the triplets are going to an influencer party tonight!” Mia yells.

My smile fades “How the fuck?”

“Don’t ask I have my ways.” She says.

“So you want me to fuck Matt at this influencer party? After not seeing him in months? Plus, he probably won’t do it I JUST broke up with his bitch of a brother. Also that’s so risky! What if someone catches us?” I shout nervously.

“Figure it out or something! I don’t know!” She yells.

I groan “What time is it at?”

“9:00pm” She answers.

I look at the time. “6:22pm”

“Mia, if we’re gonna do this then I need to be fucking sexy at this party. Like magic mike type of sexy.” I voice standing up off the couch.

Mia laughs before speaking. “Matt’s type isn’t sexy like that, I mean part of it is. He like girls that don’t show off a lot and aren’t all over him for his attention.”

I look at her funny.

“Mia I have to be all over him for his attention, how else am I supposed to sleep with him?!” I yell.

She holds her finger up at my mouth to quiet me down.

“Shush, just be yourself and don’t over dress for this party! To get Matt’s attention, you have to be near him and be nonchalant. Act sexy flaunt your ass around, Matt’s an ass guy so wear something that compliments your figure.” She speaks quickly.

I think of something in my closet that I could wear to impress Matt without trying when Mia speaks again.

“Oh! and also ‘accidentally’ brush your ass on him when walking by him, he’d love that.”

I chuckle and shake my head.

“Got it!” I laugh and start to walk up to my room.

Mia follows quickly behind me.

“I actually have the perfect dress for this party!” I say opening my closet to look for it.

While i’m looking for it Mia turns on the tv to play music.

“Hey can I borrow one of your dresses cause I didn’t bring one when me.” She asks still looking at the tv.

“Yeah sure let me just find the dress I’m thinking of then I’ll find you one.” I reply still shuffling around my closet.

“Yes I found it!” I yell and throw it on my bed for Mia to look at and approve.

Mia drops the remote and starts to inspect the dress.

It’s this long sleeve dress that has the shoulders showing and lower stomach with the bottom piece short and tight.

“Yes this is perfect! Now find me one.” Mia demands.

“Fine.” I say pulling out another dress.

It’s a shiny short red dress with straps on the shoulders. Something simple.

“I love this!” Mia screams looking at the dress and pressing play on a song.

“Emo boy” by Ayesha Erotica starts playing.

I look at Mia with a small smile.

“Whatt??! It’s to get you ready for Matt!” She yells smiling widely.

I just laugh to myself and start getting ready.

It is now “8:47pm” and I’m about to be done with my makeup when Mia runs into the bathroom.

“Finish the rest of your makeup in the car, the place is 30 minutes away from here we have to go now!” She squeals.

“What the fuck why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” I shriek and start tossing my makeup in my makeup bag and carrying it with me with the rest of our stuff.

“I didn’t check!” She yells from down the stairs.

“What time are they gonna stop letting people in?” I yell from the top of the stairs.

“9:30-ish” She yells now frantically gathering her stuff.

“Fuck!” I clamor and run out the house.

Mia runs up behind me and locks the door on her way out.

Mia hops in the drivers seat and me in the passenger seat.

Mia starts the GPS and starts driving immediately.

“What the fuck.” Mia whispers.

We park and quickly get out the car. The building is huge and looks nice on the outside.

It is now “9:25”.

We run up to the entrance and get to the men letting the people in. There was No one in line since everyone has already entered.

One of the men sees Mia and I slowing down in front of them.

“Ah! Y/n Macy and Mia Lewis! We were just about to close the doors, come on in!” One of the men say as the other opens the doors with a smile.

We walk in and look at each other still catching our breathes.

We look forward and stop in our tracks taking in the view in front of us.

It looked nice on the outside I didn’t think it could look better in the inside.

The place was huge with an open space, high ceiling and had a huge bar in the far corner from where we’re at. There’s also a big enough living room to fit 12 elephants.

To the right is where all the drinking games are being held and right next to that are the huge stairs leading up to a beautiful second floor.

There’s a balcony to the far side of the room from us.

I look at Mia with her jaw is to the floor. I laugh at her and drag her to the bar

“If I’m gonna sleep with Matt then I need to be tipsy first.” I vocalize and start to pour some Hennessy.

“Yes! I fucking love Hennessy!” Mia cheers.

We click our glasses and down it.

Mia instantly gets energetic and starts to dance around.

I laugh at her and look around.

I make eye contact with Chris across the room.

He gives me a small smile but I just scoff and roll my eyes along with looking away.

He wears a sad face and continues to talk to the person in front of him.

I put my attention back on Mia and she’s also looking around the room.

“Oh oh! There’s Matt!” She calls out pointing in a direction.

I look towards the direction she’s pointing at and see Matt talking to a beautiful blonde with a smirk on his face.

I look back at Mia with a ‘really’ look.

She looks at me. “What?”

“Mia he’s talking to a gorgeous blonde! I told you this plan wouldn’t work, you see the look on his face?! He’s completely mesmerized by her!” I shout gesturing to him.

Mia looks down as if she was forming a plan in her head.

Her head snaps back up at me.

“How about this, I can distract the girl and while I’m talking to her you can ‘catch up’ with Matt.” She says with a small smile on her face.

I sigh.

“We can try.” I reply.

Mia smiles bigger and drags me up to them.

“Hey! You’re super pretty, I just wanted to come up to you and tell you that I love your outfit and-“ Mia’s voice starts to fade away as she brings the girl to another side of the room.

Now it’s just me and Matt.

“Hey Y/n, it’s been a long time! How you been?” Matt asks as he goes in for a hug.

“I’ve been better, you?” I respond and hug him back.

He pulls away and looks down at me.

“I’ve been alright, I heard about you and Chris. I’m so sorry my brother was an asshole to you.” He speaks holding my shoulders.

“It’s ok Matt, I’ll get over it.” I say forcing a smile.

“Let’s go sit down, we can catch up.” Matt suggests leading me to the balcony.

Matt opens the sliding door and walks through.

There was a couch to the left of the balcony so Matt led me there and sat me down.

“So where were we?”

Matt and I are laughing as I’m hitting his arm.

“I can’t believe she did that!” I shout and breath.

Matt is breathing heavy and laughing trying to calm down. Matt starts to calm down and looks at me.

I look at him dead in the eyes with a small smile.

I breathe in and look away.

“I have a question for you.” I state.

“What is it?” He replies.

“When was the last time you slept with someone?” I force out.

He’s still looking at me and doesn’t say anything. “A while.” he exhales and looks away taking a sip of his drink.

My eyes widen a bit.

“A while?” I repeat. He just nods without looking at me.

“You?” He asks.

“It was a week before me and Chris broke up, that’s the last time we slept together.” I answer.

It fell silent.

“I could treat you better.” He says so quiet I barely caught it.

My head snaps over to him. I sit up on my knees.

“Yeah?” I say quiet while crawling towards him.

He looks at me.

“Yeah.” He says before he leans in our lips crashing together.

I have no time to react once I process what’s happening my eyes flutter closed and our lips move perfectly together.

He places one hand on my cheek and one on my hips pulling me on his lap.

My arms quickly go around his neck as I unintentionally start grinding on his hard.

He pulls away.

“Let’s take this upstairs.” He says softly while rubbing my hips.

I nod and get off him.

I take his hand and lead him back inside. I see Mia still talking to that girl.

Mia looks at me and I smile at her widely and she does the same back.

I was to distracted with Matt that I forgot about why I was trying to sleep with him in the first place. I just wanted to, not to make Chris mad. I wanted to do it because I actually didn’t know how long I’ve been waiting for my chance with Matt.

I lead Matt to a huge empty bed room.

He closes the door behind us and pushes me on the bed quickly crawling on top of me.

He kisses me again but this time the kiss was more hungry and full of desire.

He pulls away again.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for this.” He says in a low tone.

I look in his eyes, full of lust.

So are mine.

I smirk and quickly smash my lips against his.

He suddenly grips my hips making me gasp. He uses that as an opportunity to slide his tongue in my mouth.

His tongue starts exploring my mouth as if he’s trying to map me out.

Matt goes to take off my skirt but as his hand loops through my waist band, the door flies open.

Matt and I look towards the door and see Chris standing at the door way.

Neither Matt and I have tried to move out the position that we’re in, Matt’s hand is still in my pants and mine are over his neck.

Matt crawls off me and pretends to dust himself off.

I sit up and look at Chris with a shocked face.

Deep down, I’m loving my every second of this moment.

Chris’ face switches from shock to anger.

“What the fuck?!” He screams loud enough for the whole party to hear.

It was only Matt, Chris, and I on the second floor.

“C-Chris it’s not what it looks like.” Matt says while slowly stepping closer to him.

“Really Matt? It’s not what it looks like? It’s not that I saw you two run upstairs and you are now on top of her and you know I still love her!” He says impossibly louder.

Matt stops in his tracks.

“You-“ He swallows.

“You still love her? You didn’t say anything about that! Chris you cheated on her!” Matt shouts.

Chris stays silent as Matt goes on.

“I wouldn’t have slept with her if I knew that you still loved her!”

Chris opens his mouth to speak but closes it.

“Unbelievable.” Matt says under his breath and hits his shoulder as he walks away.

“Where are you going?!” Chris screams after him.

“I’m getting Nick, we’re going home! We’ll sort this out later!” Matt shouts back in an angry tone.

As Matt stomps away, I can see Chris’ hurt face.

He looks at the floor and that’s when I realize, I don’t only get back at Chris but I also made his and Matt’s relationship terrible and left it for them to sort out.

I quickly get up and speed walk by Chris.

I run down the stairs and try to find Mia, I see her still talking to that girl looking like they’re both having an amazing time.

Mia spots me and walks towards me.

She hops out her seat and tells the girl to call her later.

“So how’d it go? Did you ‘accidentally’ brush you ass against him?” Mia asks with a laugh.

I look at her with a worried face.

Her smiles fades.

“What’s wrong? Did something go wrong?” She asks frantic as we walk out the building.

“I fucked up.” Is all I say in a broken voice struggling to hold in tears.

“Tell me sweetheart, what happened?” Mia asks again as we reach the car.

I hop in the passenger seat and Mia in the drivers.

“I fucked up so bad, I didn’t even fuck Matt I wanted to but not because of Chris but because I realized that I’ve liked Matt.”

Mia moves her head to the side in confusion.

“I-I” I try to speak but some stray tears fall with me not being able to control it.

“shh shh it’s ok, breath talk to me.” Mia says softly while rubbing my back.

I take deep breathes before starting.

“Matt and I got into a bedroom but we didn’t know Chris saw us, also at that time I wasn’t even thinking about Chris I was just thinking of Matt and I. So when we got to the bedroom, we were doing the usual and then Chris barges in then they argued-“ I take in a deep breath.

“Then Chris revealed he still loved me and Matt got mad and said that they’re going home to sort it and when he left the room, I saw Chris’ face and that’s when I realized I fucked up their relationship.” I say quickly.

I breath heavily as Mia looks at me.

“Do you need me tonight? Cause I can stay with you forever.” She says softly.

I nod and she smiles and starts up the car.

It’s then I get a text from Nick.

Nick

What the fuck did you do?

—————————

a/n: what we’ve all been waiting for!! I love leaving yall with little cliffhangers 😝😝. I know you little kitty’s wanted Matt in here so I’m just feeding you guys. Also guys, sorry it took me so long to post this I was just trying to make sure that it was perfect and long enough because I know that my stories aren’t that long.

taglist: @vinniehackerslefttoe @mattybswife @stunza @goldenminutes @realuvrrr @braindead4l @mattsjournal @chrislapdog @gvf23 @emma4eva @cosmicmistake42069 @breeloveschris @jennss23

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actuallysaiyan · 2 months

Note

hello! any fics/headcanons on dropping by high school nanami’s dorm room would be wonderful 🫶

warnings: mentions of being promoted, Reader and Kento are both 18!!! In their last year of being at JJT, smut, kissing, vaginal fingering, dirty talk word count: 1.6k pairings: Emo!Nanami Kento x Fem!Sorcerer!Reader summary: Kento just found a box set of 1980s Astro Boy and he wants you to come over to watch it with him! a/n: I wasn't sure what you wanted for this, so I took some creative liberties and rolled with it. I wanted it partly smutty and partly fluffy. I hope you all enjoy!

It was a quiet Saturday night in your dorm room. You sit on your bed, watching reruns of your favorite sitcom. Considering this was your last year at Jujutsu Tech, you knew that things would mostly be a breeze. You’ve been on more missions this year than any other year, but it still felt so much easier than training and learning theory.

Your phone buzzes and your eyes gaze at it for a moment. Then your heart skips a beat when you see who’s sent you a text. Immediately, you open your phone and read the text.

Kento(8:45 pm): Hey are you still around? Or did you leave campus for tonight?

You(8:46 pm): I’m still here. What’s up?

Your heart is racing as you try to come to terms with the fact that your ultimate crush is texting you. You two are close, but he has no idea just how much you’re head over heels for him. He messages you again, mentioning that he’s managed to acquire the DVD box set of Astro Boy from the 1980s. You message him back, asking if you can come over and watch it with him.

Kento(8:50pm): Why don’t you come over right now? I’m just waiting in my dorm.

It doesn’t take much for you to reply that you’ll be over in a few minutes. You throw on a comfy hoodie and you turn off your devices. Then you grab some snacks from your drawer and you head out. With your door locked behind you, you walk down the hallway towards the boys’ side of the dorms.

You knock on his door, admiring the way he’s placed band stickers and mini posters on it to give it some personality. Your smile spreads further when you see him open the door. He looks really cozy right now; dressed in a band hoodie and some sweatpants.

“Are you ready to watch this with me?” He shows you the box set.

“Fuck yeah! I didn’t even think you’d manage to find it!”

Kento smirks, “I’ve got my sources, darling.”

He invites you inside and you feel immediately at home. It’s so cozy in his dorm room. You’ve been here more times than you can count, considering you two are so close, but this is just so special for you. You place your bag of snacks on the coffee table and you sit on the sofa. Kento joins you, but not before he puts the first disc of Astro Boy into the DVD player. You two are sitting so close together, your knees brush up together.

“Thanks for inviting me over.” you bubble, leaning in close to him.

“It’s really no problem.”

The DVD menu starts up and Kento selects the play all function. Then you both sit back, watching the anime you both had been wanting to see for so long. It has become a bit of a tradition for you and Kento to watch anime together. This time, it felt a bit more intimate somehow. You weren’t sure what it was, but it was like you and him had these feelings just bubbling underneath the surface.

Eventually, he turns to you and offers you a soda. You accept with a smile on your face. Things are quiet and comfortable while in his dorm, until he stretches his arms and wraps one around your shoulders. You lean your head to nuzzle against his as you both continue to watch the show that’s unfolding before you on the screen.

“You know…” he whispers softly. “I’m glad we can still have nights like these.”

You turn to face him, “Me too, Ken. Especially since we both got promoted to Grade one recently.”

This makes both of your stomachs flutter. It was a serious move to be promoted to such a rank, but you two were the exemplary sorcerers for this position. Both you and Kento showed lots of strength, courage and ability. It took little to no time to go from Semi-Grade one to Grade one. And now you both were going on missions together, taking down curses together.

“I need to tell you something,” he finally starts up again. “It’s important.”

You turn to face him fully, your heart racing. He looks so good in just the glow of the television and the soft fairy lights he has strung up over the couch. He smiles sweetly before he cups your chin and his thumb strokes your cheek.

“Even if we end up on different paths,” he leans in closer. “I’ll always love you.”

Without another word, he presses his lips to yours. You feel like butterflies are erupting deep in your tummy. Time almost seems to slow down as you finally gain the courage to kiss him back. Your hands come up to begin playing with his hair. When he pulls away, he rubs his nose against yours.

“You’ve always been my pretty girl, yeah?”

You can’t help but nod. It takes so little effort for him to push you down onto the couch, pinning you there. Despite his slim build, Kento is very strong and muscular. He just hides it well. Then once he has you in the position he wants, he begins to undress you. Your eyes shine in the glow of the TV, and it turns him on even more. Something about this moment is just so special.

“I’m always going to be yours,” you promise as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

He nips softly at the tender flesh, making you moan his name. Your legs wrap around him, wanting nothing more than to be as close to him as possible. He smirks against your skin, knowing just how needy you are for him now. He’s feeling just the same; needy and wanton for the woman he’s fallen for so deeply.

“Can I show you just how much you mean to me?” He asks, his eyes dark with lust.

You smirk, “Oh yeah? How will you do that?”

He’s feeling like you’re challenging him now, and that turns him on even more. He grabs your wrists and pins them above your head. You moan at the feeling of him taking complete control of the situation. Then his other hand unclasps your bra and pulls it off completely. Your breasts spring free, bouncing slightly from being freed from their confines. You whine softly; your body heating up at the sensation of being half-naked in front of him.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” He grunts before dipping down to capture one of your nipples into his mouth.

You buck up immediately, wanting nothing more than to bury your fingers in his beautiful blond hair. But he still has you pinned down to the couch, and his tongue is flicking against your nipples. He doesn’t even have to do much to turn you on, but he’s working hard on making you so aroused. He pulls away slightly, blowing air on your erect nubs.

“Pretty girl,” he coos softly. “Such a pretty princess for me.”

You whine again, begging him not to stop. He leans back in, sucking on your tits. He makes it messy and sloppy, nipping and biting at the tender flesh. His intent is now to turn you on and to mark you up. He wants you to see yourself in the mirror tomorrow and to see these love marks. They are the marks you’ll wear on your body to show the world who you belong to.

“Ken, please…”

He chuckles darkly, “What is it, princess?”

You mewl, “Please Ken I…”

“Use your words, pretty girl.”

Your mind is almost blank with just how much this is all turning you on. He’s usually quiet and sometimes stoic. But right now, Kento Nanami was a different man. You had heard rumors that he was a closeted pervert, but this was proving to be somewhat true. The way he was touching you and caressing you, it seems like he knows a thing or two about pleasuring a woman.

“I need you to touch me,” you breathe.

He chuckles again, then he presses his lips to yours. Your two stay connected like this for a few moments; tongues rubbing together sensually. When he pulls away to let you breathe, a string of saliva keeps you connected.

“Alright, you need me that bad, huh?”

You nod your head, “Need you so bad, Ken…”

His free hand slides down your body, caressing you in your sensitive spots. Then he slips his hand into your sweatpants, gasping softly when he feels that you aren’t wearing panties. He grunts as his long fingers spread your wet folds, prodding your tight entrance. Kento smirks, his eyes growing even darker with lust.

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” He asks, rubbing your clit slowly.

You shudder, “M-maybe…”

You let out a moan of his name as one of his fingers slips into your tight cunt. Immediately your gummy walls begin to squeeze the digit and this makes him grunt. He releases your wrists to reach down to adjust his cock in his gray sweatpants. Then his eyes snap up to watch you as he fingers you.

“You’re so fuckin’ tight, probably would make me blow my load in seconds.”

His words rile you up even more. Your hips begin gyrating against his hand, and he’s quick to slip a second finger into your pussy. Your juices begin gushing out of your slick hole, and you feel yourself growing closer to your orgasm faster than you ever thought would happen.

“Awhhh close already? Damn, princess, that’s flattering.” He goads. Your hand comes to cling to his arm, steadying him and yourself for the impending orgasm that’s on its way.

He moves his thumb to begin swiping against your clit and the added stimulation is what sends you over the edge. You cry out and whimper as the waves of pleasure crash over you. The entire time, Kento is right there, talking you through the intense pleasure. When you’ve ridden out your high, he leans in to kiss you so softly.

“My beautiful girl…I love you so.”

#bacon.writes #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #nanami smut #kento x you #kento x reader #kento x y/n #Kento Nanami x you #Kento Nanami x reader #nanami imagine #nanami fluff #Kento Nanami fluff #Kento Nanami imagines #jjk kento x you #jjk nanami x you #jjk nanami x reader

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from-the-clouds · 11 months

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texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xiv

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter | chapter summary: The final chapter pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 9.2k (I love being insane) chapter warnings: SMUT (18+only) - unprotected sex. Insecurity/Jealousy. Angst/arguments. Discussions of death, blood and injuries. Alcohol & Marijuana use. Fluff. Bisexual reader (happy pride ya'll!). As always please dm for more specifics. a/n: This could probs use another round of proofreading but it would've delayed this even longer sooooo.... Here we go! I feel pretty emo right now and I might make a more in-depth post about my thoughts at a later date bc I just finished writing this in a hot daze so I can't put all my thoughts coherently together. But I just wanna say thank you to everyone who supported and gave love to this story. This is by far the most popular fic I've ever written, and I don't really know how? Or what I did to deserve all the love but I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Thank you for sticking with me through all the angst and delayed updates and everything. I'll never forget you and I'll never forget Joel x Reader!! Thank you so much, I hope the finale lives up to your expectations! ❤️

**I DO NOT HAVE A TAGLIST. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **

I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialize I seem to lean on old familiar ways….

-May 16, 2024-

“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave you here alone?”

Ethan’s voice jolts you out of a daze, and you blink your eyes open, realizing that you’d dozed off while sitting upright in a patio chair, the cheesy romance novel you’d been reading still lying open on your lap. Turning to look over your shoulder, you find him standing with one foot on the deck, and one foot still inside, cut in half by the sliding glass door.

Clearing your throat, you straighten up and nod. “Of course. I’ll be fine.”

Ethan studies you carefully, like he’s not entirely convinced. He’s been hesitant to leave you alone unless it’s absolutely necessary – only stepping away from the house to go on patrol shifts and to bring home meals from the mess hall. Recovery has made you feel like a burden to him – to all your friends in the community, really. Everyone….well, almost everyone, has been supportive, but you’ve never been comfortable being openly vulnerable.

Unfortunately, it’s too hard to deny the pain that you’ve been in since the accident, the trouble you have getting around, the exhaustion that clings no matter how many long naps and twelve-hour nights of sleep you get. According to the doctors, being so tired is just part of recovery – rest is important, but the concoction of pain medication you’ve been prescribed only makes your drowsiness and confusion worse. It had been a big deal that tonight you’d mustered the energy to drag yourself outside to sit in the fresh air.

“I’m fine,” you assure Ethan, once again. “Have fun on your date.”

“It’s not really a date,” he says, almost a little too quickly. “We’re just hanging out.”

“Right,” you say, matter-of-factly. “Do I know who this person is?”

Ethan looks at his feet. “You remember the day this shit happened?” he asks, gesturing towards you. “Before you left on patrol, the girl that said hi to me? It’s her. Her name is Alex.”

“Oh?” you tilt your head, give him a small smile. “She was cute. How’d you ask her out?”

“Well,” he begins, scratching the back of his neck. “I may have…uh, gotten some advice.”

“You didn’t think to ask me?” you’re able to muster up a small smile.

“I would’ve, I just…..” he shakes his head. “It seemed stupid…with everything you have going on.”

“It’s not stupid,” you say, feeling a wave of guilt. Even though he’s the one looking after you, you haven’t spoken to him much about anything going on in his life. In fact, you haven’t really spoken to anyone in a long time, beyond thank you’s and blanket statements like I’m doing better. You feel disconnected, and more lonely than ever. If you ever get enough energy to leave your house, you expect most of the people in the community to have forgotten you exist. “Who’d you ask?”

“Uhm….” Ethan runs a hand through his long dark hair, shifts his weight. “….I’ve been assigned on patrol with Joel Miller a lot lately….so….”

You almost laugh when he uses Joel’s full name. Joel has been such a huge part of your life – sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain – that you don’t need to hear his last name to know who Ethan’s talking about. You could know a thousand Joel’s, and he’d still be the first person that came to mind. But Joel is still a sore subject, and Ethan knows it, which is why you suspect he’s avoided telling you this in the first place. You feel your eyebrows knit together, only able to let out an unenthused. “Oh.”

“I just, you know….he’s a guy. And it sounds like you even liked him at one point so….he must know something, right?”

“That was a long time ago,” you say quickly, regardless of the fact that he’s right.

It’s probably not fair to blame Joel for everything that has happened to you. You know this, deep down. But you’ve been so helpless and isolated since you’ve woken up in that hospital bed that you’re desperate to find someone to hold accountable. And Joel hadn’t visited you in the hospital once. By this point, he’s abandoned you so many times that your resentment feels justified, even if your current state is not directly his fault. Because it was you, after all, who had walked into the path of those men, too angry to think clearly, too weak to take them down alone. The only person you can blame is yourself, and you really don’t want to.

“Did he tell you to take her out on patrol, make her cry, and almost get her killed?”

Ethan clicks his tongue, looks down, almost ashamed. “No. He did not.”

“You should be careful with Joel,” you warn.

“I was…” Ethan says. “But I don’t think it’s that simple. I think he’s actually alright.”

“So you’re friends with him now,” you state, hoping he refutes. But instead, he looks up at you, frowns, and lifts his chin.

“What happened to you was horrible. It shouldn’t have happened. And yeah, maybe you think he’s the reason you almost died…. I don’t know the specifics so you can believe whatever you want. But I know that he’s the reason you’re still alive.” Ethan’s voice breaks, and you feel tears brimming your eyes before he continues. “He brought you back here, he donated his blood, he-”

“What?” you cut him off.

“What do you mean, what?” Ethan asks. “He was the only person there who had your blood type. You would’ve died if he didn’t. They didn’t tell you this?”

“Whatever it took to make him feel less guilty, sounds like,” you say, dismissively.

Something hot burns in your veins, something that must have always been there since you woke up, but you’re only feeling it now. It’s unsettling, Joel being a part of you that way. Your lives had already seemed intertwined enough already. But now, he’s inescapable.

“Well, he stayed by your side every night while you were asleep. Fuck, I mean, he was probably there just as often as I was. He made sure I ate, and slept and showered and… and he never once asked for anything in return. He cares about you as much as I do, clearly, so I don’t think it’s wrong to think he’s a good guy….”

You must not care about me that much, you want to say, but you stop yourself. Because it’s not true, and you’d only be saying it to hurt him. You have nothing to defend yourself with, no way to convince him otherwise, and so you just stare at him until he shakes his head and slips back inside.

Ethan is stubborn, he always has been. And it’s a special kind of stubbornness, fueled by anger – so common in most of the young people you meet these days. You understand why they’re all like this. When you’re robbed of your childhood – you get stuck there….waiting….. Like someday you’ll have a chance to do it all over again, regardless of how obvious it is that you won’t.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-May 25, 2024-

Things get better, albeit slowly. You begin to wean off the pain medication, which makes you more alert. It’s still difficult to leave your house, but you can move around it more easily, and you don’t spend all your days sleeping. Luckily, you aren’t as stir-crazy as you’d been expecting.

One afternoon, Ellie Williams shows up on your doorstep with a bag full of groceries.

“Maria wanted me to bring these to you,” she says when you open the door. “She told me to tell you she’ll be over tomorrow, but she wanted me to give you these to tide you over.”

“That’s very nice. Thank you for bringing them to me,” you try to take the bag from her hands, but she steps back just a little, like she’s unsure if you should be carrying anything. You let your hands drop to your sides. “Would you like to come in?”

Ellie hesitates for a split second, adjusting the bag in her arms, and then nods. “Sure.”

Stepping to the side, you allow her into the home. Because of how warm it is outside, you’ve opened all the windows to let the breeze through.

“Sorry for the mess,” you say, Ellie following you into the living room. There are stacks of books and pill bottles with instructions scattered on your countertop. You haven’t swept the floors in awhile and all the hard surfaces are covered in a thin layer of dust. It’s not really that bad, but you don’t have the energy or strength to be on your feet for long – let alone to clean the house.

“I don’t mind,” Ellie says. “It’s not even that bad. I don’t know why older people worry about leaving your house messy and shit….no offense.”

“There was a time it used to matter,” you tell her. “And I see where you’re coming from, but my thing is – if you’re going to live somewhere, you should do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable.”

Ellie purses her lips, as if you’ve made a good point but she doesn’t know how to answer. Instead, you continue. “Can I get you anything? Water?”

“No, I’m okay,” she puts the bag on your kitchen counter.

“You can sit if you’d like,” you tell her. “I just need a moment to put these away.”

When you walk into your living room a few minutes later, she’s hovering near your record player, looking through the vinyls. The turntable was already in the house when you’d arrived years ago, but it was buried in the closet and broken. Ethan had managed to fix it after a little troubleshooting and scavenging for parts. Now, you both were always looking for records to bring home, and had amassed quite the eclectic collection – jazz, funk, hip-hop, and everything in between.

“Wow,” Ellie says, running her fingers along the shelved records. “You found all these?”

“Some of them were already here. But yeah. Ethan and I are always on the lookout on patrol. I can play you something. What do you like?”

“Eighties, I think,” she says. “But…I also haven’t heard as much.”

“Well here,” you thumb through the records, pull out a worn copy of Speaking In Tongues. “How about some Talking Heads?”

You pass the record over to her, and she stares at you blankly. It’s only then that you realize — she’s never used a record player before. There’s a familiar pang of sadness before you show her how.

“Are you feeling better?” Ellie eyes you wearily once the music starts, and you settle onto the couch, feeling a little worn out after being on your feet.

“Yes,” you say. “I’m older now, so it seems like healing takes a lot more time.”

Ellie nods, then bobs her head to the music a little. “This is better than most of the stuff Joel likes.”

“Oh yeah,” you smirk, and instinctually, you recall his enthusiasm for all things old-school country. “I remember that,” you say softly.

With so much time on your hands lately, you’ve found yourself thinking of Joel a lot, reminiscing on the time you’d spent with him and Sarah. What Ethan had told you about him staying by your side was definitely making you reconsider your assessment of him, even if you were still hesitant. It was probably a trap to think you’d ever be able to feel those things with him again, but if remembering them brought you comfort, you weren’t going to resist it.

“You’re more than welcome to come over to listen anytime,” you offer, and she nods excitedly.

Ellie stays for longer than you expect. You talk a fair bit. She tells you about what she’s learning in school – but mostly how ‘fucking useless’ it is. She wanders around your living room and pokes through your stuff without asking, but you don’t think to stop her – you just answer her questions and let her be curious.

Eventually, the sun dips below the horizon, and she excuses herself to go home, insisting that Joel will ‘fucking kill her’ if she’s out too late. Even though you’re exhausted after entertaining her for a few hours, you find it feels nice. Being on house arrest, essentially, had left your starved for connection outside Maria and Ethan.

You see her out the door before returning to your refrigerator to look for something to eat. Ethan will be back from patrol any minute, so it may be nice to make him something even if you have almost no energy.

But when there’s another knock on your front door, you’re shocked to see who you find staring on your porch.

Joel.

You almost forget to speak at the sight of him. It’s been weeks since your accident and he might as well have moved away from Jackson since you hadn’t seen him at all.

“Hey,” you say, tentatively, taking him in. He seems preoccupied – cheeks flushed, hair rumpled, and out of breath, like he had run all the way to get here.

“Have you seen Ellie?” he asks, not even greeting you in return. “I’ve looked everywhere and I-

“You just missed her,” you cut him off, not because you’re trying to dismiss him, but because he's clearly distressed. “I’m surprised you didn’t see her on your way over.”

Joel sighs, eyes closing in relief. “Thank God.” For a second, you glimpse the frazzled and overworked father you used to know. “She stayed out too late, had me worried sick.”

“She’s fine,” you say. “Although she did say you might kill her if she didn’t get home soon.”

Joel gives you an almost imperceptible smile, but seems mostly irritated by Ellie’s suggestion. “I would do no such thing.” He shakes his head and takes two steps backwards. “Thank you. Didn’t mean to be a bother.”

Your mind floats to a memory of Joel on your front porch, late getting home from work and looking for Sarah, and you can’t help but feel a bit of sadness and longing for a simpler time, a surge of affection.

Joel is halfway down your front porch steps when you speak again. “You aren’t bothering me.”

He pauses, turns to look over his shoulder. There’s something he wants to say, you can feel it, and you step outside, letting the door fall shut behind you and remaining huddled against the siding, and he turns to face you fully, sighing. “I’ve been meaning to stop by, actually….”

“Oh…really?” you can’t keep the surprise from your voice, and he notices.

“Yeah,” Joel rubs his fingers together, a nervous habit of his you know all too well. “Yeah. I- well, I wanted to apologize to you.”

You’re so startled by the words you can’t answer right away. But the split second of hesitation causes Joel to continue, looking to fill the empty space.

“I’ve been waiting to find the right thing to say….but it doesn’t seem like that’ll ever happen. I’m not even sure I know where to start.”

“Oh,” is all you can manage, still taken aback. The only thing that doesn’t surprise you about his admission is the sincerity. You could say a lot of things about Joel, but he isn’t a liar. He always tells the truth. Maybe it’s why he pulled away from you to begin with. It’s easier than the alternative – spending time with you, which would force him to be honest. For how much you’ve changed, you’d probably do the same.

But the thing with Joel is that you’re exhausted. You’re tired of the back and forth, of the push and pull, of the constant struggle to hold your care over each other's head, hoping the other will break first. Maybe this is a fresh start.

You step closer to him, and you see him study the way you move. Of course, you’re trying to look strong, but he can surely sense the weakness. He’d always been good at that, better than any of the others. Your hand comes to rest on the porch railing for support.

But…..

There’s that voice in the back of your head, the one that tells you this is a mistake. The one that reminds of the pain you’ve often earned through vulnerability. It likes to think it’s served you, protected you, and it has. But it’s not always right.

“I suppose I owe you an apology, too,” you say. “At the very least I should thank you for what you did.”

Joel shakes his head, dismissively, but looks to where your hand rests on the porch railing, looks back up to you as he reaches out. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

His hand clasps over yours, and to anyone else, this might be nothing. It’s so innocent, unassuming. But the effect it has on you is palpable. He squeezes once, and you flip your hand over, squeezing his back, giving him a gentle smile. “I am too.”

Joel’s eyes fill with a warmth you haven’t seen in twenty years, and your stomach flutters, your heart races. A part of yourself that you’d considered long dead seems to rouse.“Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“I told Ellie we’d go to the mess hall together,” Joel says. “Otherwise I would.”

You blink once, and Joel sees it, immediately continuing on. “But maybe Ellie and I can come another time, join you and Ethan?”

“Yeah. He’d like that,” you say. “That might be nice.” ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-June 20, 2024-

You think that at the end of a long winter, bears must hate coming out of hibernation.

It must suck. They spend months sleeping, doing almost nothing, and then suddenly they’re forced to function again – to hunt, to eat, to roam, to survive and socialize. You imagine there has to be a learning curve, a desire to crawl back into their den and never leave again.

Or maybe you could be wrong, and they love it. And you’re just a wimp who hates feeling uncomfortable.

All you know is that you’re huddled in the back corner of the Tipsy Bison, nursing a whiskey – and it’s the last place you want to be.

You’re overwhelmed.

And despite the fact that you regularly used to attend community events, it’s been so long since you've been out in Jackson that you feel like you don’t belong. To some extent, you’ve always felt this – too hardened by the outside world to fully assimilate, especially when the town throws dances. But in the past, you at least attempted to convince yourself otherwise.

Two weeks back, the doctors had cleared you to go about your daily activities as normal – within reason, of course – but you hadn’t exactly jumped at the opportunity. Tonight, Ethan had accused you of becoming ‘antisocial’ and ‘reclusive’. You had agreed to attend – but only to beat those allegations. So far, you are definitely not.

You scan the crowd, taking in the people spinning around the dance floor. Some of the women are wearing dresses. You can’t help but feel a little envious of how easily they’re able to perform femininity, which is something you’d given up on a while ago. It hadn’t exactly served you before arriving in Jackson, and you predict it would be humiliating to start trying now. After all the things you’d experienced, you were left marred with scars and wrinkles, stretch marks and loose skin. Since then, you’ve remained loyal to the combination of men’s denim and tank tops with flannel-button downs overtop.

It doesn’t always stop the men in the community from descending like vultures. You might be the last pick – there are plenty others who are younger and prettier – but you’re still an option. Bea, your old partner, had always theorized that some men were particularly drawn to sapphic women, that it was ‘the ultimate challenge’. Maybe there is some truth to her theory, but you like men….sometimes. So there is always a part of you that yearns for their validation, for as many times as you tell yourself you don’t want it. But it never feels good to get it after you’ve watched them exhaust all their other options.

It’s pathetic, but it makes you think of Joel. He and Ellie had been over to yours and Ethans last week for a nice dinner, and you had tried to gauge whether there was any romantic connection between you still. Occasionally, you’d caught him looking at you with a wistful smile, but he could have been lost in thought. It’s not like you needed that from him or anything, but it might be useful information. After all this time, Joel is still so handsome, and probably has an impressive selection of potential partners here in Jackson – women of all ages. You hope he’s not here tonight – you can’t see much besides the dance floor at this point – because the thought of him cozied up to anyone here, combined with the acrid taste of the drink in your hand, makes you want to gag.

You take another look around the room. Eugene, your partner in crime – quite literally – is walking towards you, which helps quell your spiraling mind . If you talk to him, say hello to Tommy and Maria, maybe Ethan will see the effort you’re making and you can sneak out without having to deal with anyone. It’s wishful thinking, but it’s worth a shot. The sooner you can get home tonight, the better.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel can’t stop staring.

He knows it’s impolite. He knows that he’s not being subtle. He knows that if any other person in this bar followed his eyeline, they’d pick up on what he was doing in an instant. But every minute he doesn’t get called out for it, he becomes more and more emboldened.

It’s the first dance he’s ever been to in Jackson, and the only reason he’s here is to placate Ellie and Tommy. But even they have abandoned him in favor of better companions – his brother is deep in conversation with Maria, sitting across from him in a booth, and Ellie is out on the dance floor dancing with one of her new friends, Dina.

Joel just can’t help himself. He still feels guilty for what he’s done, but he can’t shake the feeling of a soft hand clasped within his own – the first time he’d felt any semblance of hope since arriving here. Tommy and Maria had already slyly let him know about all the women who were interested, but he couldn’t bring himself to entertain their advances. There’s only one he wants, and she won’t even look in his direction.

When he’d first noticed you, you were whispering with Eugene on the opposite side of the dance floor. According to Tommy, you spend a fair bit of your time with the old man, which Joel initially thought to mean that you had some sort of entanglement. At first, Joel thought that couldn’t be possible. But you were deep in focus as you listened to Eugene’s words, nodding and leaning in closer and closer, and Joel thinks Tommy might be right. He wants to understand what you see in this man – tall and unkempt, covered in tattoos with long, graying hair and a beard to match. But Joel catches himself in his judgment, he’s probably just as unappealing – not just because of how he’s aged, but because of how horrible he’s been to you in general.

The next time Joel sees you, you’re at the bar, chatting with a man who Maria had introduced him to not long ago, a resident who is new in town. Joel had been too busy focusing on the fact that he’d been in Jackson long enough to not be its newest resident that he couldn’t remember his name. He wishes he had, so he could keep tabs on him. Of course, he can’t blame the man for being drawn to you – Joel knows very well that you’re hard to miss in a crowd.

Still, Joel bristles when you both step away from the bar, and the man’s hand lands just above your sacrum. He actually finds himself tensing up, resisting the urge to intervene, because it’d likely only make you angry. Plus, maybe you are interested. That question is answered quickly when you reach behind your to clasp the man's hand and place it back at his side. Where it belongs, he thinks.

“Joel!”

He snaps his attention to what’s in front of him – interrupted, and probably for good measure, lest he get himself too worked up. Ethan approaches with a girl his age, her arm linked through his. Joel stands to greet them.

The terse understanding between himself and Ethan while you were still in the hospital had somehow turned into a friendship, especially after they’d begun getting paired up on patrol. Ethan reaches out for Joel’s hand to dap him up, slinging an arm briefly over his shoulder.

“How’s it going, kid?”

“Good, good,” Ethan nods, pulling back, and gestures to the girl next to him. “Joel, this is Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” she says. “Ethan’s told me all about you.”

“Really?” Joel asks, feeling a little bewildered.

“Only good things,” Alex says quickly, as if she senses his apprehension. Ethan puts his arm around her waist. Joel recalls a few weeks back when he’d asked for advice on how to ask out a girl. Joel hadn’t pried at the time, but now he seems to understand, and is surprised by the swell of pride he feels. “Ethan says you’re a fucking badass,”she giggles after she swears.

Joel looks over at Ethan. “I don’t know about that.”

He shrugs, changes the subject. “Since when do you come to these things?” Ethan asks.

“Ellie dragged me out,” Joel answers.

“I did the same with my aunt,” Ethan chuckles. “But now I can’t find her, and I’m pretty sure she’s escaped.”

“Oh, is she here?” Joel plays dumb, like he hasn’t been aware of exactly where you have been all night. “I haven’t seen her.”

“I think she was with Eugene earlier,” Alex has to stand on her toes to speak into Ethan’s ear. Joel watches Ethan’s nose wrinkle.

“Do you know Eugene at all?” Ethan turns to Joel. “I’m trying to figure out what’s going on there, but she won’t say anything.”

Joel wishes that he had more information. “Tommy says they seem close.”

“I know that,” Ethan says. “I wish she would just be honest with me. It’s not like I would be mad. Whatever,” he shakes his head. “We can talk about it another time. I just want to find her so I can introduce her to Alex.”

“We should say hi to Tommy and Maria first,” Alex says, and Ethan nods in agreement before saying goodbye to him. Joel claps a hand on Ethan’s shoulder as he moves past him, and Alex gives him a shy smile in acknowledgement.

Focusing back on the crowd, Joel realizes that you’ve vanished in the short span of his last interaction. Maybe you’d rejected that guy, and then he’d retaliated. Maybe you’d gone home with Eugene. Joel shakes his hand. It’s none of his business. He doesn’t need to get involved. It’s not his job to look after you, regardless of how much better he feels when he does. Old instincts. He can’t help himself.

He settles on watching Ellie and Dina spin each other around on the dance floor. Eventually, Tommy and Maria, then Ethan and Alex all trickle out of the booth to go get another round or head to dance. Joel stands to release the booth to someone who actually needs it – and is left in the corner, nursing a nearly empty beer that’s now flat and warm. He looks towards his family and friends, but for some reason, he still feels alone.

Joel isn’t sure how long he stands sulking, but he starts when someone approaches from behind.

“Having fun?”

You’re a pace or two back, one thumb hooked through a belt loop, a whiskey in your opposite hand. Joel looks back at the crowd a moment, then at the ground. “No.”

“Neither am I,” you commiserate, stepping alongside him.

Joel considers offering that Ethan was looking for you, but selfishly does not want to give you a reason to leave, so he stays quiet. You observe the dance floor like he is, smiling slightly at the sight of Ethan and Alex dancing. The flannel you’re wearing over a gray tank hangs loosely off one shoulder, and Joel wants to reach out and touch the exposed skin. You take your last sip of whiskey, bring a finger to swipe under your bottom lip, and Joel wishes he knew what you might taste like right now. He scolds himself for fantasizing.

You don’t speak either, and you stand in silence for a while, until you eventually pop your hip, shifting closer to him. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you’re already standing so close that your arm gets pressed up against his. Neither of you acknowledge the contact, but Joel is acutely aware of how your skin burns hot against his own. He feels comforted by the affection, even if it’s unintentional.

“Want to leave?” Joel asks, and can hardly believe that the words came out of his mouth, even if he wanted them to.

You look over at him, not bothering to hide your surprise, but your expression evens out quickly, and you give him a single nod. “Yeah.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel’s still not convinced this is real. It feels too much like a dream, the weather outside is so pleasantly warm it feels like he’s floating as you walk down the street. He had never expected you to agree to leave with him, and now he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say.

The greater distance you put between yourselves and the bar, the quieter the town is. Most of Jackson’s residents are at the dance, save for the guards at the front gate and the handful of people that had been mingling just outside.

He heads in the general direction of the neighborhood, even though he lives on a different street.

“What are we supposed to do now?” you wonder out loud, and you sound a little incredulous, like you’re equally as shocked to find yourself beside him. The question carries a bit more weight than it would have coming from anyone else.

Joel contemplates. He’s not sure what he wants from you – there are a lot of things, actually – but he doesn’t know if he really deserves any of them. For now, your companionship is more than enough.

“You’re welcome to come back to mine,” he offers. “But if you’re looking to keep drinking, all the booze is back at the bar.”

“I’m good.” You shake your head like you’re uninterested, but look over at him with a sparkle in your eye. “I have something better….”

You reach into the pocket of your flannel and produce a rolled joint between two fingers, looking over your shoulder. “Those dances are usually terrible, so I always come prepared.”

Joel can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, and the sheepish grin he gets in return makes his cheeks feel warm. “Where’d you even get that?”

“You’ve never been on patrol with Eugene, have you?” you ask. “He has a place just out of town where he grows it. I’ve been helping him since we first got paired up, and in exchange, I get to sample the supply.”

Of course. Joel would’ve never imagined that was the reason you were so close with Eugene, but it suddenly makes incredible sense. He shakes his head in a combination of relief and amusement. “You really haven’t changed.”

“Oh, I’m sure I have,” you answer, smiling to yourself and looking at the ground. “But of course I haven’t shaken all my bad habits.”

“That’s not true,” Joel mutters.

“Well, you haven’t changed either, for as much as you’ve tried to convince me,” you nudge him gently, offering him the joint. “What do you think?”

Joel plucks it from between your fingers and puts it between his lips. “I think I have a lighter at home.”

“Sounds perfect.”

In the front hallway of his house, you slip out of your tennis shoes, shuffling behind him in your socks, pausing occasionally to study some of the doodles that Ellie had drawn and hung on the walls – it wasn’t exactly a priority to decorate these days, but they certainly livened up the place. He knows how much Ellie likes you, despite the fact that she doesn’t gush, but the odd comment here and there says as much. Joel remembers how difficult it had been to keep Sarah away, and Ellie now is no different. He doesn’t seem to be able to help himself, either.

You sit next to Joel on his wicker couch, curling your feet up under you as he lights the joint and study him while he takes the first few puffs. He does it without thinking. That’s how soft Jackson has made him. Normally, he’d be too stressed about being out of his wits. But he can’t see how hypervigilance has served him since settling down. He feels safe here, and somehow especially because he’s with you.

When he passes the joint your way, you look at him wistfully. “Old times,” you say with a grin.

Joel nods as he exhales, coughing. “Old times.”

“Oh yeah,” you say, as if you just remembered something. “You can’t tell Ethan about this. He doesn’t know, and he will give me shit about it. I need him to take me seriously.”

Joel shakes his head. “Well, you know, it sounds like he and Tommy both think you and Eugene are together.”

“What?” your head jerks forward in shock, eyes going wide. “Oh my god, no. Do people think that?”

“I’m just sayin’,” Joel wants to mention how he had seen you whispering to each other at the bar earlier, but then realizes it’d give a bit too much away. “That’s what they think.”

“Well....historically speaking I might’ve liked older men…. but not that old.”

Joel purses his lips. “You’ve lived here awhile, huh?” When you nod, he continues. “Has no one caught your eye?”

“Uhm….not really. But….” you trail off, looking into Joel’s backyard. “To be completely honest, I don't think about that much these days. I guess I feel like I have a lot to be grateful for. I don’t want to push it.”

Joel understands, and nods pensively.

“What about you?” you ask.

“I guess I feel the same.”

That causes you to smile a little bit, look over at him. “I bet you already know this. But the women here would line up down the block for you.”

Joel can’t help but roll his eyes, though he wonders if you would, too. Even if you did like him, that didn’t seem like your style.

“I’m serious. I’ve heard the things they whisper behind your back. All their fantasies about you are pretty creative...”

“Fantasies?” He grimaces. He imagines none of them know anything about who he really is. You’re the closest thing, and all he’s done is hurt you. “I’m sure you were quick to set them straight.”

“I don’t say anything,” you say, then continue on, a little quieter, looking at him from under your lashes. “I like to keep you to myself.”

Joel isn’t sure how to respond to that. You have every right to tell all of them that you were once together, and all the ways he’s hurt you since. Yet for some reason, you’ve chosen to protect him.

“So….all this time….” you wonder. “You had to have been with other people, right?”

Joel doesn’t think to hold back. “I had a partner for a long time. Tess. First, it was all business, I helped her smuggle things in and out of the Boston QZ…and then, I don’t know….we got along, we trusted each other and…” Joel trails off, hoping you’d put together the rest before he has to go into too much detail. “She was real fuckin’ tough. Scared me a little at first. You would’ve liked her.”

“Well, we already have one thing in common. What happened?”

“She’s the whole reason I ended up out here….with Ellie,” Joel explains. “But I lost her a little over a year ago.”

He hopes you don’t ask how. Maybe someday he’d be willing to go into detail, but talking about it generally is hard enough as it is. But fortunately, you seem to pick up on his hesitance. “I’m sorry, Joel,” you say softly.

He shakes his head. “I was an asshole. To her. I should've....after Sarah died I didn’t want to get attached, so I kept her at arms length and I... I wished I hadn’t in the end. It only made things worse.”

“Yeah,” you nod, look down. “I’ve made that mistake before.”

Joel doesn’t want to linger any longer on the memory. “What about you? Were you with anyone?”

“Uhm, yeah,” you fidget, looking uncomfortable. “I had a partner….for like ten years."

Ten years? He had been with Tess for more, but something about that information feels jarring. He’s shocked Tommy never told him this. Did Tommy even know? Suddenly, it dawns on Joel everything that could’ve happened to you since you’ve been apart. Entire lifetimes. And he’d said such horrible things when you’d fought. He remembers your face when he’d told you that you didn’t know what it was like to lose a child. Maybe you had. He’d been so cruel and inconsiderate just because he was uncomfortable.

His throat feels tight, almost scared to learn anymore. “What…what was his name?”

“Well, Bea….was her name.”

Joel is sure he doesn't hide the shock well. “Sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Yeah,” you say. “I don’t think I did either. Well, I sort of did, but I was too young I think when I first realized to make any sense of it, but…. I met her and…yeah,” then, you smirk. “I mean, I went to an all-girls school and I had a really bad relationship with my dad so…it definitely makes sense. ”

Joel considers this, smiles along with you. “But anyways. Her and I met shortly after my brother died and it was kind of the same. We kept each other alive, things developed from there. We ended up getting involved with this group who lived in the middle of nowhere. That’s a whole other story, but…” you wave your hand. “I loved her, and I lost her right before Ethan and I got here.”

Joel sees all the pain in your eyes, and wishes he could say something to take it all away. He knows he can’t. You look back out into the woods in his backyard, take a deep breath, and reach back towards the joint that you had put out not long before, lighting it again. Joel gets the sense that both of you had done the most amount of sharing possible for the time being.

“Look at us,” you take another drag before passing it over. “Old times.”

“Old times,” he repeats, a smile working its way onto his face.

“This used to be my favorite thing to do with you.”

“It was nice,” Joel agrees….hesitates before continuing. “But I can think of some things I liked better.” He gives you a knowing look, and you roll your eyes, laughing easily at his joke. It feels so good to make you laugh, to see you smile. Why had he spent so much time resisting?

“Touche.”

What happens next spills out of Joel so quickly he doesn’t think to stop it. “I tried to look for you….after all this happened. I didn’t have Sarah anymore, and I thought maybe….I don’t know. It was the only thing that kept me going for a while.”

“I did too,” you confess. “But…I was with Vincent and Ethan, and I felt like I couldn’t leave them alone for something that might just be…. I always hoped you both made it. And I’m so sorry she’s gone. I really did love her.”

“I know you did,” Joel reaches out to take your hand. “I know. And I shouldn’t have said those things I did. I’m still not sure why you’ve been so patient with me.”

“Hmm,” you shift so that you’re closer to him. “You waited around for me back then. It’s only fair that I’d wait around for you now. I want you in my life. I don’t care what that looks like. But it’s too hard to forget about a person that you loved.”

Joel wants as much from you as you’re willing to give, and he can’t tear his gaze away from you. But he wants you to see him, all of him, before he takes it.

“I’ve let a lot of people down. I’ve done a lot of h-horrible things,” his voice cracks, and tears well in his eyes.

“I have, too, you know? Those things still live with me. But I think what matters is who we are now,” you reach out, fingertips brushing the scar on his temple, and Joel swears that even if you don’t know the story behind it, you can see right through him. “And I know who you are.”

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”

“You won’t,” you say. “No more than anyone else has. And if it makes you feel better…when people hurt me, I’ve gotten pretty good at hurting them back.”

“If I do, I’d hope you would.”

“I will. I promise,” your thumb strokes his cheek, marveling at him. “I would suggest a blood oath or something but….I heard we kind of already did that…”

He’s given you every warning, every barrier, and you’re still here. He can’t believe it, and he doesn’t think he can hold back any longer. “Come here.”

He kisses you. He wishes that he could be slow and tender and gentle like he used to be – and certainly he’s still capable, but he realizes that he’s been depriving himself of something he wanted for so long, and can’t seem to control himself.

Your hands land on the side of his face, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Maybe you’re somewhat taken aback by his urgency, you hum against his lips, but you don’t resist at all. Joel maneuvers you so you’re straddling his thighs, and he grips your hips, your ass, coasts his hands up your side. Your lips part in a moan, and he slips his tongue into your mouth.

For a while, he stays there, savors the taste of you, whiskey and smoke still lingering on your lips. His hands cup your jaw, feel your body, grip and squeeze and stroke and you let him, continue to let him. He tries everything, wondering if you’ll tell him to stop, if you’ll decide you’ve had too much, but you don’t. Then again, he should know by now that you’re a woman who knows what she wants. He just finds it’s hard to believe that he’s the thing you want.

You break away from him, just a little, and Joel presses his nose to your neck, kisses your pulse point.

“Should we go upstairs?” your voice is raspy and breathless. “Will Ellie be home soon?”

“Probably not for a while. We can be quick.”

“Hopefully not too quick,” you raise your eyebrows. Joel can’t help but laugh a little. He relishes in the way your hands rake up and down his arms, exploring him, touching him. Of course he wants you, but even just this would be enough. He’d be content with less, he hadn’t realized how starved of affection he’d been.

You’re able to pry yourselves off one another to make it up the stairs, and Joel guides you with a hand to the small of your back. When you get to his bedroom, he opens the door, but stops you before you go inside.

“Hold on,” Joel mutters, winding one arm around your waist, the other behind your knee.

“Joel, what-no, you’ll–” he pulls you into his arms.

“Do you really think I’m not strong enough?”

“I didn’t say that,” you chuckle as he carries you over the threshold and into the bedroom, breath puffing against him before he lays you down on the bed.

When he hovers over you, your fingers wind into his hair, nails raking against his scalp. He savors every sweet sigh he’s able to pull from you, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing your hips. You’re so pliant and open beneath his body, it makes it easier to not feel guilty about what he’s doing. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, you’ve said as much, but it might take some time before the feeling will die completely. Hopefully, he has enough time with you to see it off completely.

Clothes are removed quickly, intentionally, as you both bare more and more of yourself to each other. And while he wishes he could’ve been there to see the ways in which your body has changed, you’re still as beautiful as ever.

Joel, however, is hesitant to give himself away completely. When you tug at the hem of his shirt, he hesitates.

“I don’t know if-” he pauses. “If you want to see all that.”

“Joel,” you stare at him knowingly, kneeling across from him as he stands at the edge of the bed. “I do.”

So he releases your hand, and lets you pull it over his head. Carefully, you study him, his body littered with scars. He knows he’s not as in shape as you remember. These days, he hardly can look at himself in the mirror after a shower. He expects you to be disgusted, or at least see it flit across your face before you compose yourself, but you don’t. Your fingertips drag through the smattering of hair on his chest and down his torso, tracing several prominent scars – each one with a story – but you linger on the one at his abdomen, frowning.

He sees the question on your face, but you don’t ask it. Instead, you return to press yourself against him. “I’m so glad you’re still here….”

You kiss him, then, and Joel can only kiss you back.

Joel isn’t the only one with battle scars. Some of them he feels are his fault, but you seem less self-concious about them, which gives him a surprising amount of confidence. Maybe it’s just a reality of what happens when you make it this long.

When you’re finally bare beneath him, he admires how you look, stretched out and waiting, chest heaving and shivering with anticipation. He slides his hand between your legs – feels you already wet and warm, sinking two fingers inside. Your walls flutter around the intrusion, back arcing off the bed when you sigh out his name. Joel.

He’d forgotten how nice it felt to hear that.

Joel is already thinking about what he’d like to do to you next time. He’d be more careful, more patient. He’d bury his face between your thighs to see if you tasted as good as he remembers, he’d let your fingers curl into his hair. But right now you both seem desperate for the same thing.

He pumps his cock a few times with his hand, he can’t remember the last time he’d been this hard – the last time he’s wanted anyone this badly. Even with Tess, it had always felt like the both of them were hurrying to scratch an itch, her eyes would wander like she was thinking of other people, and maybe he was, too.

Joel lines himself up with your slick cunt, teases you a little, and you roll your body down to meet him, gasping when his blunt head slides in – just a little.

He can’t hold back. You practically suck him in, so tight and hot around him he finds it immediately overwhelming, but he doesn’t even think to pull out. Only when he’s fully seated inside you, and given you a chance to adjust, does he start to move.

It’s euphoric. You’re both older now, more mature, but he still remembers all the things you liked, even if it takes a moment for him to find the spot inside you that makes you cry out, legs wrapping around his hips.

Unlike before, you don’t bother trying to hide from him. You kiss him, hold him, touch him, look him in the eyes, tell him how good he feels – you don’t hold back. Joel relishes every word you say, clings to the praise and gives it back. Your lashes flutter when he tells you how pretty you look.

He can think of nothing else other than bringing you pleasure, can tell you’re getting close when you begin to rut against him, and he reaches down to let the pads of his fingers slide over your clit.

When you come, you whine his name, lock your lips with his own and he swallows your moans. The feeling of you so impossibly tight and wet and pulsing and squeezing him so tightly has him following closely after.

His head is still buried in the crook of your neck when you speak again. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

The second Joel pulls out, he starts missing how close he felt to you. But you fix that by rolling over onto your stomach, curling up at his side, head on his chest, and arm across his stomach.

“Joel. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

He’s far from it. But he’s starting to think if you say it enough, maybe he’ll start to believe it. He turns his head to kiss you gently, slowly. “So are you.”

“We can do this again, right?” you ask.

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, we can.”

“Good,” you settle back against him, and very slowly, he dozes off with you right beside him. He doesn’t want to sleep alone again, and luckily, he doesn’t have to.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-December 4th, 2026-

When you return home from patrol, you find Joel in his living room – boots off and socked feet propped on the arm of the couch. You don’t notice his eyes are closed, that he’s asleep, until you get closer, see the book he’d been reading resting on his chest as he snores lightly. You can’t help but feel for him – he’s probably exhausted from constant patrols, so he must be tired.

But mostly, you’re just overwhelmed by the love you feel for him, catching him in a quiet moment of vulnerability. Hesitantly, you reach out and squeeze his foot. It’s gentle and tender enough that he blinks his eyes open and looks around, taking in his surroundings, rather than jolting awake like he often does. When he sees you on the opposite end of the couch, he melts back into the pillow he’s propped against.

“Hey, stud,” you lean against the arm of the couch.

“Hey,” Joel answers, voice still gruff with sleep. “How long was I out?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just got in.”

“Hmm,” Joel closes his eyes again, folds his hands across his stomach.

“You’re wearing the glasses I got you,” you point out. They’re simple. Rectangular black frames. You’d found them on patrol, and brought them home after Joel had been complaining that he could barely see when he read before bed. But he’d tried them on and insisted he hated the way they looked, so you’d ended up using them most of the time.

“They do work,” he grumbles, like he’s ashamed to admit it. “But I still think they look stupid.”

“You look like a sexy librarian,” Joel rolls his eyes, but you can tell he’s suppressing a grin. There’s always a bit of defiance about him, he can’t fully admit how you get him so flustered even after you’ve spent so much time together. You press your thumb into the arch of his foot and he groans. “That feel good?” you ask.

“Yes.”

“Whatcha reading?” You gesture towards the book.

“Some book about the moon landing,” Joel lifts it off of his chest, where it lay face down and open, looks at the back cover. “For Ellie.”

“How sweet.”

“It’s a little dry,” he deadpans. “But she likes this stuff.”

You shift your massage to his other foot. Joel stretches, his arms lifting above his head, the shirt he’s wearing rides up just so, so you see a sliver of his lower belly before it disappears again, throwing an arm over his eyes.

“Are you tired?” you ask.

“Always,” he says through a yawn.

“Me too,” you yawn along with him, since they’re contagious. He pulls the glasses from their perch on the bridge of his nose and shuts the book, placing them both on the coffee table in front of him. You take your hands off his feet and he sits up a little straighter, holding out his hand.

“Come ‘ere,” he says, and you do.

He grunts as you settle into his arms, head nestled against his chest, sprawling out almost on top of him, the only way you both can fit like this on the couch.

“You’re so warm,” you say softly, letting him wrap his arms around you.

“You’re cold. Your hands are freezing,” he holds them in his own.

“It’s cold out.”

“Don’t know why you left today.”

“Obligations. Patrol.”

“Fuck that.”

You laugh into his chest, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I think we might be boring.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, we don’t really leave the house. We spend all day reading. And we’re old.”

“We’re not that old.”

“But we’re getting up there.”

“Sure, but…” Joel trails off.

“Everything’s so quiet, so calm.”

“I think that’s what most people would describe as content.”

“Are you content?” you ask, lifting your head to look him in the eyes.

“I’m happy,” he says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. “Are you?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Then don’t worry about the rest.”

“Okay,” you settle back against your husband's chest, feel his lips brush your forehead.

His fingers search absentmindedly for the ring on your finger he’d found while clearing out a pawn shop not too long ago. The one he wore looked nothing like your own. But the marriage had been long overdue, and neither of you cared what the rings actually looked like.

Nowadays, you split your time between his place with Ellie, and your own with Ethan, but end up in his bed every night. At this point, you don’t think you could sleep without him.

Years ago, another lifetime, you’d had a conversation underneath a sky full of stars. You’d told him that for you, good things had never lasted. Joel had made a promise.

This will.

It took time. There was a lot of pain. But in the end, he had told you the truth.

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leclercsloveletter · 4 months

Text

CL16 | friends or not (pt 2)

Summary: You love Charles, but he keeps you treading on the line between friends and strangers. The humiliation and frustration finally got to you.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem reader

Words count: 2060

Warning: Google translated French

Author's note: Thank you for your support on my first ever fic here! I’m so shock everyone wanted a part 2 so I stayed up til 4AM for this🫶

Life without Charles is just normal life 90% of the time, other than the fact that you allow yourself to see other people. You wish it was easy to indulge in others after him.

Charles lingers as the silent architect of your thoughts, he made a home in your gut and sucked you dry of the ability to spare anyone else half the intimacy you gave him. The touch of others only serves as a poignant reminder of the electrifying chemistry your body once had with him. So when Lando's rough hand rests on your waist, it weighs like an anvil, sinking you onto the floor of the FIA's gala.

Going out with your somewhat ex's coworker isn't the brightest idea, but Monaco is a small place. Once you get roped up into the circle of drivers and their little games, it's hard to get out with your dignity intact. Besides, Lando was one that you can confidently rely on. He was there and he was listening when Charles decided you weren't worthy of his time. Maybe he was waiting for you to break so he could come in, and snatch you up like a vulture for himself, it doesn't matter anymore.

"Darling, are you alright?"

"Yea I'm good Lando, I'm just dreading a bit"

You appreciate Lando breaking the flow of conversation just to check up on you. He let out a sigh before holding you closer

"Y/n, it's okay. I asked so he would be seated at the other end of the table. I know we aren't a committed item yet and it's not in my position to say this but, be mine for tonight, please?"

He held one of your hands in his, giving it a small kiss. He was so kind, so charming, so convincing that you smile back and nod. Lando leans in for a quick kiss that you reciprocate, ignoring every fibre in your body that's screaming from someone's gaze at the other end of the room.

Charles's and your body are in tune in a mysterious way, so when he walks into the gala with his new girl, the air in your lungs thickens into syrup. With his crisp suit, new haircut, and a girl he seems to care more about, Charles looks like a vessel of the Charlie that once had you. Except for the cufflinks you gave him when he won in F2, you wonder if his girl knew. But you already promised Lando that you would be his for tonight, to give him the undivided attention that anyone deserves from their partner. So you lean in closer to him and let his words flow through your head.

Time passes, the alcohol kicks into your system has dulled out and now waiting to be excreted. You excuse yourself to use the bathroom, someone was in there too.

"Oh hey, you're Lando's girlfriend?"

She was beautiful, elegant, and kind. In a red dress that hugged her body exactly where she wanted it to be, her posture so proper it put ballerinas to shame. A girl worthy of Charles's time.

"That's me, I'm Y/n L/n. I see you with Leclerc?"

"Yeah, I'm Charlotte, nice to meet you."

You shake hands, and although you both look well groomed, nails and hair freshly done, you can't help but feel humiliated by her. You both exchange some words and follow each other on Instagram before she returns to her table and you find a stall to sit in silence. Jealousy is a fitting word, humbled is one too, there were so many noises buzzing through your head at once. You need a smoke before going back into that room.

Paris is cold at night, the jacket hung loosely on your shoulders was supposed to be nothing more than a decoration so you shivered when pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. You shoot Lando a text so he knows you're fine and just need a break from the event, he replies with "Gotcha darling, stay warm" and a cutesy emoji, you feel bad for him.

"Still haven't quit smoking Y/n?"

Oh that voice, the voice that makes you want to drop everything to punch him in the face and then kiss him through the blood.

"I think I'll be committed to it until it takes me out, Charles."

"So, how's life?"

The 3 words take you right back to that night in Monte Carlo, it wasn't that long ago, but in your misery, it felt like the previous life.

"Doin' pretty well, got me a cute boy. Doing my master's degree right now, new job, new car, what a life."

"You miss me so much you swoop down to date my friend Y/n?"

"Bold of you to assume everything is about you."

You replied sharply, the embers of the cigarette gazing at your fingertips before you threw it over the balcony you were standing on. The audacity he has is astonishing sometimes, you turn to him

"My life before was all about you, everything I did was for you. Now? I want nothing to do with you Leclerc, I'm sorry that your coworker likes me and he actually cares for me when you weren't around."

Charles was frozen to the ground, he didn't expect such an outburst, not that he would ever. You look at him for a moment, stunned that after everything, all the changes and pain you went through, he made no progress. You walk past him to go back inside, not without putting a hand on his shoulder with a sigh

"Charlotte seems nice, treat her well."

Lando was shocked when you told him you're moving to Milan to finish up your last year of master's. He was borderline begging for you to stay despite the whole non-committed thing you guys have. It's funny how you ran away from a situationship to have a new one that lasted more than a year, at least this one was healthier.

"Lando hun, I'm sorry. But I can't stay in Monaco for now, I need something else just for a moment. I'll keep in contact yeah? I'll update you on Pierre and Yuki too."

You hold him tight, there are no tears but only a shared understanding that you both won't work out and mostly, he knew you need to get away from Charles. Neither you nor Lando can live under that shadow, it's merciful that you let each other be. Even when you have to deny the attraction you held for the driver. Packing was easy enough, with boxes of stuff already being shipped to Italy and pictures of Pierre unpacking and messing with your decors in the new flat have been sent.

Your phone buzzes menacingly

"I heard you're moving to Milan, safe trip."

"Thank you, Charles, will tell Pierre you said hi."

Even in moments like this, he taunted you. He's everywhere in your apartment, at the same time, left nothing behind but you. You know when the plane lands in Milan, it will be a true new life. Maybe fate will let you live there, somewhere in Sicily or Naples sipping on limoncello and wearing a wide-brimmed hat.

"Motherfucker, Pierre you didn't tell me Milan was going to be hot as hell?!"

"I thought you checked the weather?! Don't blame me?!"

Banter with Pierre flows smoothly, if there is someone who complimented your insanity, it's Pierre. It's scary how he also possessed the ability to read you like a book, Frenchmen have superpowers you guessed. What you didn't expect however was sitting on the balcony of your new apartment over a glass of wine while he questioned your motive for moving to Milan.

"I know you won't just move here if you still can tolerate his existence Y/n. What was the final straw?"

"There was none, Pierre, it's just nothing was working out and I need a change-"

"Ferme ta gueule Y/n, I knew you both too well for you to think I would believe that"

You pull your legs up to your chest, getting cozy on the beanbag before chugging the whole glass of wine. Pierre has been out of the loop so you told him everything, the catch-up dinner when you broke it off with him, the gala where you both brought someone new and that balcony conversation. Even the little ones like him acting so nonchalantly and saying hi to you on the street or the "safe trip" text. Pierre listens without judgement, although if you add your own hesitancy in there, you would deserve every colourful insult he could think of.

"And do you wanna know the funniest thing is? He never realised where he went wrong, he never truly understood why or how. I'm the villain in his story because I broke his heart. Meanwhile, he shattered my fucking entire existence."

"Do you still love him then?"

"I do Pierre, with every breathing moment."

You have to go see Monza, Pierre and Yuki basically dragged you there despite your objection of "I will support you at home on TV". So now you're walking around in the hospitality area, munching on some rather good croissants. Pierre shot you a text to come down to the paddock which you reluctantly agree to.

"Come down with us!! @ AlphaTauri paddock right now."

The AlphaTauri paddock is a bit of a walk away, so naturally, you passed by the Ferrari's. Seeing his face plastered on the paddock wasn't a fun experience but it's fine you said. Until the actual model of those pictures caught you off guard.

"Hey"

Every cell on your body screams the fire you thought you diminished lit up like the Olympic torch. You turn around to see Charles in his race suit, painfully beautiful and surprisingly alone.

"Hi Charles, I'm on my way to Yuki and Pierre. Good luck for today."

Before you can leave, he grabs your arm and you let him pull you back. For the first time, he actually tried to hang on to you.

"Uh, I'm free tonight, I want to talk but over dinner of course. Will you?"

Saying no to Charles Leclerc is like forcing you to shoot an elderly lady in the head. It's impossible and unnatural for you to even consider denying him of anything. And it didn't help when he added

"S'il vous plaît?"

Charles was never one to ask you for something with "please". Your body was always given in a heated clash of tongue and teeth, your soul is even worse. But something shook in you, Charles saying "please" like he's begging for you to spare him your time. The time that you deserved.

"Alright, usual time?"

"Usual time"

He won in Monza that day.

"So, how's life?"

Same question, every time, like clockwork. But this time you're in Monza, next to some random canal reflecting the city on its ever-moving water.

"I'm sorry"

"You what?"

Charles' words stunned you. You don't know how to feel, isn't this what you were waiting for? Him to be sorry so you can run back into his arms and love him once more?

"I'm sorry for being hot and cold, I'm sorry for leading you on Y/n. I'm sorry for not seeing your side and wasting your youth. I always wanted us but I was stupid to fuck it up. So please-"

"Stop right there."

Charles looks up in shock, his eyes are almost brimming with tears. You release a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Thank you for apologising, I don't forgive you, Charlie. I don't think I can. So if you're asking me to leave it all behind and act like you didn't throw me down the trenches then don't. However..."

Your heart beats so loudly, that you can feel the blood rushing and the fire coursing through your veins.

"I believe in redemption. So hi, my name is Y/n L/n"

You give out a hand for him to shake, vision starting to blur from tears. Charles stares at your outreaching hand for a moment before grabbing it with speed and strength, as if you would regret it any moment.

"Hi, I'm Charles, Charles Leclerc."

"Like the F1 driver? I think we will be great friends then"

Monza never shines brighter, maybe even more than Monte Carlo.

"I hope so too"

Tag list for this fic: @janeholt3

#charles leclerc #cl16 #f1 #formula 1 #charles leclerc x reader #formula 1 drivers #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x fem reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc angst #Spotify

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