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chouxsardine · 4 months

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Mariner's Complex -- Jake Kiszka x reader

Summary: "Look for the lighthouse when you are lost, it will always bring you home. May the light in your soul guide you, may the love in your heart keep you strong." -- Jake is nervous before going on stage. You know just the right way to calm his nerves.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x reader

Word Count: 2532

Warnings: 18+! minors be gone, mention of alcohol, mention of anxiety, public sex, unprotected penetrative sex, soft Jake (please let me know if I missed any!)

Genre: Smut, hurt/comfort (kind of)

Author's note: This piece is inspired by the gif above. I am smitten upon seeing it. This is my first time writing smut. It's about vulnerability, about receiving and giving love, lots of love. It is my fictional way of hoping that Jake is reminded of being one of the best guitarists out there and that he is loved by us. Deepest thanks to the wonderful @sacredjake for beta reading and for inspiring and encouraging me to pick up writing and post this. Please do yourself a favor and read her works; they're awesome beyond words. Enjoy!!

🎧: songs that pair nice with this piece: Lost at Sea by Lana Del Rey and Rob Grant; Mariners apartment complex by Lana Del Rey (can you tell I'm bad at titles now?)

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There’s just something about the air in the stadium before the concert; it feels like with every inhale, it immediately turns into adrenaline. With its graininess accentuated, one can almost sense the atoms buzzing in the air, like a shoal of sardines forming a bait ball, enclosing him, a cyclone where he is the eye. Is this what Josh means when he writes “carbon dancing through time” ?

His mind is racing a million miles a second; it’s like hoping onto a car with broken brakes, he’s bound to hit something in the hazardous terrain——

Knock knock. “Jake?”

As if someone pulled the switch, he is snapped back to reality. He immediately recognizes the voice of his lover. The sweetest sound in the world. His shoulder visibly relaxes, the corner of his mouth turning up, and his heart feels tender. He has always appreciated this—forever so considerate and thoughtful, always respecting his privacy even though they have already been together for so long.

“Come in!”

As expected, his lover’s face came into view, the familiar smile.

“I got you the salad you wanted!” You said, raising the white plastic bags in your hands.

You can tell he is anxious the moment you push open the door. Years of a committed relationship must have formed some kind of telepath between you two. You can almost sense it in the air. Is it a thing though? Like the service dogs that can smell it when their owner’s heart is beating too fast. Well, you know someone’s heart is certainly racing now.

You can’t quite figure out where his anxiety is coming from. They boys are at the middle leg of this tour. Is it from the traveling? Or maybe it has to do with his string snapping during soundcheck earlier? Or it could just be his brain playing tricks on him. And you respect that, even amazed or amused because you know it’s from the very same place where all the amazing melodies and witty remarks are born.

You spotted the glass on the vanity. Amber liquid barely covering its bottom, corresponding to the proportionate empty space in the newly-opened bottle of whiskey right next to it. You know Jake is never one to get plastered before going on stage. The alcohol is just a pacifier for his nerves. You follow his gaze to the white roses sitting in the vase. He’s remained quiet all this time, not even trying to hide his feelings, only giving you a smile through his reflection in the mirror. The comfortable silence hangs mellowly like willow branches, a mute radiation of his trust and vulnerability.

You set the bag aside and squat down in front of him, thumb brushing the back of his hand. You know better than to ask questions like “are you okay”. You know that right now your physical presence is already a comfort for him. You’d rather let him take the lead for the rest.

Jake tilts up your chin—a silent cue for kisses. You happily oblige, feeling his lips forming a smile upon contact with yours. He releases a contented sigh, pulling back after a moment. “I’ve missed you.”

“Yeah? You’ve got me now.” Now sitting across his lap, your hand rests gently on his cheek. Jake immediately leans into your touch like a cat, turning his head and pressing kisses into your palm.

“They already double-checked it. I’ll ask them to pay extra attention before the show starts, just to make sure.” You said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, revealing the little hoop dangling.

Jake hums, knowing you are referring to the snapped string earlier. Stupid mistake. His throat feels dry, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I——”

“Shh,” you give him a peck on the lips, “none of that. You don’t have to explain anything. Those feelings are valid. And they are temporary.”

Then a brilliant idea strikes you.

“We’ll take a walk, alright?”

“Here?” He cocks his head in slight confusion.

He immediately recognizes that you are giving him a taste of his own medicine. Well, in a good way. He knows you are talking about one of those “mental health walks” that he proposes when you are engulfed by the noises inside your head. But the backstage is not street gardens or some hiking trials in a park, how will that work?

“Yeah, you have time. Right?”

There’s indeed at least a good half an hour before the last sound check. He can’t argue with you. By the way, when were he ever able to say no to your invitations? This little genius mind of his lovers, constantly conjuring up the most amusing and endearing words and ideas like the hat of a magician. With a resigned smile, he caves in, placing his hands in yours.

“Come on, up you get, you lazy butt.” You step back and pull on his arm.

“Hey, you love this butt!” He protests in feigned grievance.

“Yup, can’t deny it’s a nice one.” You jokingly smack his ass as you follow him out of the dressing room, feeling happier hearing his banter, seeing him slowly getting back to himself. He’ll get there, you will make sure of it.

The corridors are generally quiet around this time, allowing the artists to rest before the real frenzy starts. Occasionally, stage crews pass by, rolling equipments boxes down the hall. You two swiftly move out of their way, hand in hand, strolling as if window shopping in the mall. You are entertaining Jake with a funny little incident you saw on your way to buy him food.

“You should’ve seen it, really,” you snort out a laugh recalling the scene, “that poor lady is struggling so hard and the shopping cart is just running away from her, loaded with two cases of Guinness!”

Jake is laughing with you, slightly shaking his head in disbelief. You turn to admire his profile, the apple of his cheek rising, the wrinkle to his nose deepening, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. There’s nothing you love more than seeing Jake smile and laugh, it never fails to create that fizzy feeling in your heart, like a bubble approaching the surface of a cream soda.

Having jumped out of your storytelling, your attention diverts back to the feeling of Jake’s arm snaking around your waist. Now his hands are sliding up your sides, from the small of your back to the sweet spot on your flank.

He turns to look at you. Upon meeting his gaze, you immediately pick up the implicit plea. His caramel eyes full of admiration, the edge of his iris grows fuzzy. His eyelashes flutter as his gaze falls to your lips.

You cover the distance between you with a kiss. This one is different from the one in the dressing room. The tip of his tongue tickles your bottom lip with small licks before him pulls back a bit and mutters under his breath, “Want you, want to be close to you.”

Once again, you are more than willing to indulge.

It’s just so convenient that you happened to be near the corner where a pilaster protrudes enough to hide you from the passersby. As your back hits the wall, your fingers are already tangled in Jake’s hair, holding him close. You are circled by him, his freshly applied cologne lingers, now well adapted to his skin, bergamot wrapping the hidden notes of pepper and cedar. Jake kisses along your jawline and traces downwards, creating a dotted line of kisses across your breasts and hovering over your navel. His hands tugging on the waist of your pants. As he unzips it smoothly, he dives back in with more kisses, nibbling on the material of your underwear.

“No,” you mumble, tugging on his elbow motioning him to stand up, “I want you in me.” You loved it when he goes down on you, but not now. Now you need it to be about him, you know he needs it too.

There is a halt in his movement, suddenly his eyes a shade darker.

“Yes, let it out, Jake.” You hold your forehead against his, making sure he hears every word certain and clear. Whatever it is, a much-needed release, a claim of territory, an outlet of his bundled nerves. “Use me. Fuck me.”

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” Jake sucks in a breath.

You smirk, tilting your head back against the wall and surrendering more of your body to his arms. Jake’s hands on your thighs cover the coolness of your skin as your pants pool around your ankles. His knuckles tracing your heat through the fabric, the ghostly touch making you squirm.

“Please, Jake.” You loop your arms around his neck, raising up a leg pressing it into the side of his waist.

“So wet for me already, angel.” With frantic eagerness, he takes out his length and pulls your underwear aside. Your slickness draws his hard cock inside as he bottoms out in one firm and steady thrust. Jake was looking down as he enters you, his eyebrows creased in concentration, eyelashes throwing shadows under his eyes. He never fails to marvel at the way your bodies connect, it catches him in awe every time no matter how many times you have fucked, just as you are exploring each other’s bodies for the first time. When his gaze meets yours again, it’s like moonlight spilling behind clouds. You are the only object of his vision.

“Yes!” You mouth silently as he starts moving, him picking up the pace almost instantly as if placed in a running wheel. Jake’s head nuzzles into the crook of your neck, hot breath radiating and him lapping up at whatever area of skin he comes in contact with. His arm goes under your knee and finds leverage on the wall, the other hand holding onto your pelvis, pinning you in place. The rough texture of the brick wall rubs against your back along each shudder, magnifying the titillation deep inside you.

You feel like with each thrust his insecurity and anxiety ebbs away like the snaky morning fog, replaced by his confidence and charming self: the one you know will work his magic on stage tonight just like ever, the one that will make the entire stadium shake and roar just by his fingers moving across six strings, the one that proves both to the world and to himself again and again that “it could be done”.

You can feel him swell and twitch against your walls, you squeeze you thighs and clench, knowing he’s getting close. The spasms of his cock tickling that particular spot to the point of no return, the ecstasy washing over you like a cascade. The whines and screams rolling and tumbling in your chest like a pot of boiling water, threatening to jump out of your mouth. You roll your eyes back and swallow them down, releasing only one suppressed moan of “let go, baby” against Jake’s ear, and that is enough to send him over the edge.

With one jerk of his body, he cums hard. You can feel the additional thickness of his release almost dripping down your crotch. Jake’s whole weight falls towards you with the hunch of his shoulders. His chest presses firmly against your body, its rise and fall teasing your still hard nipples.

You hold his head against your chest as he comes down from the high, fingers brushing away the naughty strands of hair that have flown into the corner of his mouth and stuck to his cheek.

“As much as I would like to stay here forever, you really have to get going. They must be looking for their rockstar everywhere.” You chuckle while shimmying out of your rumpled underwear, using it to clean up.

“Damn.” Jake leans back against the wall as he watches you, still on cloud nine and short of words. For a moment, all he can do is look at you.

“Stop staring.” You nudge him, unable to stop blushing facing his caramel eyes filled with unadulterated adoration. You bet if you could reach into them, you would find a handful of stars. Plus, Jake looks exceptionally beautiful post-fuck, the upturn at the corners of his mouth accentuated the curve of his cupid’s bow. The smug smirk is counterbalanced by the rosy blush on his cheekbones, a tell-tale sign of his satiated desire. Good. That’s what you’d expected and what you’d like to see.

Jake cups your face in both of his hands as he leans in for a kiss. This time, almost childish, his pouted lips pepper all over, the bilabial “mwah” is especially pronounced, causing you to giggle again.

“Quite the walk, huh?” You insinuate.

“Well, now I prefer to call it the ‘mental health fuck’,” Jake slowly straightens his back, resembling a cat stretching after a content nap. “Catch you on the flip side, my love.”

He was already a couple of strides away when he rushes back to kiss you again, catching you in surprise. Aggressive and fervent in his actions, but oh so gentle when his mouth meets yours. This is the type of kiss where he takes the lead, and you are completely at his mercy. The tip of his nose brushes against yours, and his teeth softly bite your lower lip. It’s a kiss that steals your breath and your heartbeat away for tits entirety . “You know you are my lighthouse, yeah?” He stares right into your eyes, his voice low and husky. “ You always guide me back when I’m lost at sea. My Leucothea, my Lady of Luck.”

You feel a lump in your throat, and every word goes straight to your heart. The feelings there are so overwhelming that they rise and swell like tidal waves. It;s so much love that it makes you want to cry.

“Gosh, Jake, such the poet.” That all you manage to say.

“Because you’re my muse, my angel,” Jake smiles again as he steps back one last time. “And now it’s time for me to set sail again, yeah?”

“Aye aye,” you blow him a kiss, “Fair Winds, Captain.”

You watch as he leaves. The Starcatcher symbol on his back standing tall and proud. The crystal embellishments on his jacket scintillate, jet crystals and glass beads shimmers, reflecting the lights like a thousand stars falling onto his shoulders. He is the warrior that breaks their fall, wearing them proud as a crystal armour. You watch as he marches forward, carrying on his shoulders the weight of dreams. Your dearest rocker, the bravest captain.

For Jake, the atoms are still buzzing, but now he can feel them moving rhythmically, like the joyful wings of a hummingbird or the secret dance of bees. They delivering a yet undecipherable but nonetheless auspicious message. Soon he will be going on stage, carrying a heart full of love from his lover, so he can give all his love to his fans out there. And he knows if he looks, he will find you among the crowd, a cluster of flame, a powerhouse of love.

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Thank you so much for reading!! :) any comments and feedbacks are greatly welcomed and deeply appreciated.

The description of Jake's jacket is heavily relied on this post

kudos to who spotted the TLSP reference hehe

If you are in need of some fluff, feel free to check out my another Jake pieces: Permission to Fall || Ticked (all my boxes) || Love is a four-legged word || The Lucky Ones

#jake kiskza x reader #greta van fleet fan fiction #jake kiszka smut #jake kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet smut #jake kiszka

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lampthehealthminister · 15 days

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The sun's light reaches even the darkest depths

Synopsis : Aventurine has a vicious snake in his head, but your voice always chases it away.

Warnings : Spoilers for Aventurine's backstory! It's just references, but maybe some people haven't played the quest yet, you never know lol ; Also intrusive thoughts?? Perhaps?? I'm not sure tbh

Genre : Hurt/Comfort??? Sorta??? ; x reader fic

Word count : 1.2k yoohoo

Notes : I haven't written a fic in more than a year... Forgive me if I'm rusty, but I just love this man so much ugh. Might make a part two from reader's pov this time because I've got lots of ideas!! Do give me advice if you think I should improve some stuff!! You can also request something if you like my writing <3

Even when he steps foot in the comfort of his home, the knot settled in his throat does not go away. Worse, when he inhales the smell of spices, it chokes him even more. (He wonders if you thought about him when cooking, and the idea of him lingering on your mind for longer than he should makes him want to cry.) He removes his coat, trying his best to think about something else as he hears your footsteps approaching. (Are you finally going to yell at him and push him away today?)

“Welcome back, ‘rine.”

Luckily, you greet him when he’s still removing his shoes, giving him enough time to build his composure back up. (How could he face you otherwise?) When he stands back up and meets your eyes, he is once again reminded of exactly why he is so drawn to you. (He knows it’s wrong, but he is helpless against it. Like a moth attracted to a flame, he can’t help but want to stay in your light for a little longer still.)

“It’s good to be back home.” (“I missed you.” he wants to say, but he can’t afford getting too attached to you, just like it’s not good for you to get too close to him.)

He wants to take a step forward, wants to fall into your arms and hide away from everyone and everything else ; but his feet are glued in place, and the weight in his chest is heavier than ever. His throat feels dry, his palms are sweaty, and for a split second he worries that you’ll start asking questions, that you’ll worry, that you’ll take his face in your hands and envelop him in your embrace, wrap him in a soft cocoon of gentleness and care and everything else that he doesn’t deserve. (Has the air always been so suffocating?)

He jumps as the sound of an alarm resonates through the air. He watches you scurry off to the kitchen and exhales a sigh of relief. (Did you notice how he almost lost himself just now? Did you see him bare, his soul completely exposed as his own body failed to obey him? Or did he successfully manage to trick you once more, just as he does with everyone else? He doesn’t know what he prefers.) He steps forward, inhaling once more. The scent of a foreign spice tickles his senses, and the name of it sits on the tip of his tongue, present but not fully here, an image and a distant memory.

It’s only at dinner, when he takes a bite of the food you’ve made, (The voice in the back of his head tells him he doesn’t deserve it, but he would hate to see you upset.) that he recognises it, the name shining bright like a lightbulb in his mind, a single piece of thread that he’s managed to get a hold of. He opens his mouth to tell you, but the silence in the room shuts him up. No words fill up the space, and he finds the quiet unsettling, cold, a shiver running down his spine at the thought. But most of all, he is worried about you. Why aren’t you saying anything? You usually tell him all about your day, about the things you’ve seen, about the plans you’ve made with other people, so why is today different? (Can you no longer bear to entertain him now that you’ve seen how ugly he is on the inside? Have you had enough of his theatrics, of his games, of him? He tells himself that he won’t stop you if you leave, but he knows he will always wake up in the morning thinking you’re still by his side.)

He finally dares looking up at you, worried that he’ll find your seat empty. Maybe you were never there to begin with, maybe you’ve already left long ago? Maybe he’s grown so attached to your love that he imagines you greeting him every day, feeding him every day, holding him every day. Maybe the house is so cold because you’re simply no longer there, because he can’t bask in your light anymore. (It’s just what he deserves, so he shouldn’t complain. He’s always been too selfish with you, after all. Always about taking, never about giving, because he can’t afford to show all of his cards, even with you.)

“What are you thinking about, ‘rine?”

Your voice snaps him out of his daze. The first thing that invades his mind is the fact that you’re here. He suddenly feels warm all over, like his heart is being cradled by gentle arms, like his soul is being taken care of by a kind gaze. (Did Kakavasha feel like that, too? Was it when his sister held his hand, when his mother kissed him on the forehead for the first time?) This time, he can’t prevent his real thoughts from tumbling out of his lips.

“You.”

The expression that graces your face rivals even the Mother Goddess’ blessings, he thinks. As if his word was a prayer, you light up even more than before, gently coating him in your warmth. (How did he even manage to find someone like you?) You smile at him so openly, so genuinely, like you’re not afraid to show him what you feel ; and every time, he falls for it, for you, even harder than he should. You reach for his left hand, and he hopes you don’t feel how his pulse is fluttering under his skin, how his heart is racing just by being in your presence. He loves you. Even if it’s dangerous, even if you leave him, even if he hurts you. Right now, he loves you, and it’s as sickening as it’s sweet, sticking to his lungs like golden honey.

That night, he watches as the moon traces a serpentine path of light on your skin. You’re talking to him, keeping him company as he ties all the strings of sleep together slowly. You still hold his hand in yours, and despite having long since removed his gloves, he can’t get enough of your touch. Even now, you look at him in that special way, with that gaze only reserved for him, and yet he doesn’t recognise the emotion that lingers in it. He doesn’t have time to think too much about it either, because exhaustion is dragging him down. Like an anchor, it pulls at his feet, forces him down in the dark even if he hates it. He squeezes your hand tighter, a desperate attempt to stay afloat, but he’s already too far gone in the depths, your image only a distorted reflection above the water. If he doesn’t come back from there, he’ll at least imprint all of the details of your face in his mind one last time.

Even while he sleeps, you don’t let him go. You hold him close, look at the way his features relax. You gaze at him with an adoration he never notices, doesn’t want to see. Words scratch at his walls, make him feel vulnerable, tear him apart from the inside out, so you never use them. You only hold his hand and lead him somewhere else, so that even if he is lost, he doesn’t have to look far to find his way home again.

#aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine x reader #hsr aventurine #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #star rail aventurine

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athanasius-symposium-of-writings · 4 months

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Hi, I saw some of your IDV smut line prompt

If you still taking request from that and write for Wu Chang, can you do ❛ i want to fuck you so badly. ❜ and ❛ i don't care if someone sees us. i need you, now. ❜

More specific for Fan Wujiu/Black Guard just being needyhorny for his S/O ( ╹▽╹ )

I did my best! I like the idea of Wu, Fan, and Xie being three different ppl

Rated: Explicit | Warning: Aphrodisiac

“I want you,” You jerk in surprise, so hyper-focused on decoding you had paid attention to your heart racing alerting you of the hunter's presence. “It hurts how badly I want you.” Wujiu, the black guard, is currently in control. He looks like a mess! You thought it was because of Naib kiting him for so long but he looks actually in pain. “You will help us.” Grabbing you and placing you over his shoulder.

Wu Chang is the person they make, the souls within him are Xie Bi'an and Fan Wujiu. They are bound by the umbrella they carry, forever together but not able to see one another. During matches, the white guard and black guard are separate but whole, Wu's personality disappearing leaving the original two to hunt. It is very complex and you, the partner originally to only Wu, decided to just go with the flow.

In the manor, only Wu exists. He is a stoic man, very reserved. It took quite a bit of work to try to talk to let alone be in the current relationship you are in with him. Later, you met the pieces of the whole. Bi’an, the white guard, is the calm one who approached you post-match as Wu Chang was very eager to see you.

The eagerness one has when a loved one has been hurt. Your match with Ripper was scary, the map was new and London-based (Soho if you remember correctly). The fog everywhere, the dark alleys, all of it to his advantage. You barely escaped with another teammate.

Thank God that map was a one-time deal!

Wu grew worried and risked punishment crossing to the survivors’ portion of the manor to see you.

“Such love merits our meeting. You are his sun, his moon, the very earth he envies as it holds you up.”

You… Well, you have never been described so highly.

As introductions are important, Bi'an greets you pleasantly as you are the object of Wu Chang's affection.

Later came Wujiu, well, he bared what he wanted from you very quickly.

You have been intimate with Wu Chang once, it was an emotional moment and intimacy was necessary. You love cuddling, love skin-on-skin contact, but sex never seemed on the table— Rather in other words: it scared you. The trust, the work, and then the fear if you mess up.

Lots of anxiety.

With Wu, it was nice, slow, and you felt at ease and content.

With Fan Wujiu, you discovered so much in two hours!

Being currently in the Chinatown map, he knows exactly where he is going to hide you and him until the ciphers are completed. His victory is already claimed as he chaired two of the survivors before grabbing you.

“I do not care who sees us,” The top floor with the mannequins, “I need you now.”

You nearly scream when literally pounces on you, something you are sure Bi'an will scold him about. You scare easily.

By the time the last cipher is popped (poor Weeping Clown), you are a mess and Wujiu does not seem any better.

“Please, we need– God, I physically can't!” How much more can this man give!?

“You can, you must.” And you do as you bite his shoulder to contain your voice. “Blame. That. Bug woman.” His thrust is erratic, clearly desperate, and you are getting more and more drunk off his cock.

You have no clue what that means but you can guess by the way he smells sweet and weird then her ability must have affected him.

Stay put. I'm coming.

Hunter has detection! Go, I'll take the dungeon.

“Wujiu…” Shit, you might pass out.

He squeezes you in his arms, “Stay awake.”

“Hmm,” Oh, you feel lightheaded. “Tíngzhǐ.”

And he listens, “You took me so well, little bird.” Praising you as he stops immediately, “Are you hurt?”

“Just dizzy. And hot. Fuck.”

“I can't give you the care necessary,” He wants to keep touching you, “My apologies.” You know he means that.

“Widow's peak. There.” You try to get your words out, “Later.” It is a spot where you meet Wu Chang often, a private neutral area.

“Of course.”

He gives you a moment before carrying you to the dungeon.

#reader insert #anon ask #idv #idv wu chang #wu chang x reader #wu chang x you #identity v #identity v x reader #identity v x you #identity v wu chang

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circeyoru · 1 month

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have you listened to the song "Partner in Crime" by Madilyn Mei? If not, I strongly recommend it because it makes me think of Unwanted Souls!Alastor. Specifically early days of when the reader tries to push him away

This is for {Unwanted Soul} , check MASTERLIST for the work

The one I listened to is Partners in Crime by Set it Off. But I gave this a listen and omg the lyrics are quite in sync with the story!!

Let me go on a song tangant. Stay if you wanna read.

**Heavy spoiler if you haven't caught up with this series!!!!!

You're right; this matches well in the beginning when Reader/you are trying to push Alastor away so you can go back to your little world of self-indulgence. But what happened afterwards is Alastor staying and showing you care and devotion you never had.

Now, if you keep up with everything I posted about {Unwanted Soul}, you'll know that I never planned for this oneshot to end up as a series with this much background and connections for you. So, in Part 1, it was entirely matched with the request and that long to avoid a continuation. But then you saw the results, hahahahaha~

Anyways. Part 1 never mentioned anything of a dilemma of you pushing Alastor away yet wanting him near you, the later parts did. If you piece back everything, you'll see what I mean with this song.

When you're gone I feel alone again The voices cannot hold my hand They keep me company at very best Distract me from my loneliness

Here, this is a reference to when you had that breakdown when Alastor was more than late for that grocery shopping. You hoped it work, but when it did, you just feel so lonely. Everywhere you see in the apartment, especially the living room since that's where Alastor always was. So you retreated into your room, where he barely had permission to enter. With low self-esteem and self-harming thoughts, you conjured a knife and just stabbed yourself to distract yourself from the mental pain.

Maybe I'm just an anomaly Even my demons have their families Truly something must be wrong with me To need you as much as I do

Naturally, this is a reference to your living years. You felt alienated in your life and among the people that surrounds you. Yes, you're stable and successful to the point that you don't have to worry about getting hungry or not having a house to return to. But you felt so empty with what you're doing. You wanted companionship that you can lean on. Then Alastor comes along and you tell yourself it's too good to be true and pushed him away to protect yourself from a heartache.

I was never meant to win I was never meant to win I was never meant to win Shut up!

Sidetracking, this is referring to you quitting your job as an informant for Lucifer. It's some time after you mastered the two powers you had but never used. You think it's too powerful and you're not worthy of it, so you hide it away. Then it went to thinking you're not fit to work for Lucifer, the King of Hell. Worse when you come to see him as a friend instead of your employer and superior being. It was easy to put a stop to it since Lucifer wasn't as persistent with keeping you by his side than Alastor. (haha this explained why I never put Lucifer as a love interest or show competition between him and Alastor)

Here's the reigns Take ahold of me Please don't let me go You do the talking Sew up my mouth if I can't keep it closed

This is where you basically accepted that Alastor was a yandere for you and let it progress. You know how it is with this type of character. You were just too damaged and desperate for something you longed for that you didn't care anymore. It was a good thing that Alastor saw how damaged you are by that self-harm you inflicted on yourself, better now than later when you were more firm with your feelings for him.

There's a dog barking right around the block And a big ol' whistle blow Run for it I'll keep em occupied for you Cause I love you, I love you so Left me hangin at the station But you'll be back for me soon

I'll switch the narrative here. This matches more for Alastor. This talks about the time when you sent him to the hotel to work (and leave you alone). A little interest that shouldn't be explored for or for you to personally be involved with. So Alastor does his best to keep the hotel matters at the hotel, never needing you to leave your home to investigate anything. Alastor knows you moved him out because you were caring too much and you're trying to stop it. He doesn't care, he wants you. But he'll be patient and give you time, he knows you'll be back for him. And boy was the wait worth it when he saw you fight for him.

Something tells me you aren't coming Guess that I'm truly doomed

When Alastor was nearly brought down by Adam and realized that his power wasn't enough (since it was limited by you). That moment, he was fully prepared to just teleport back to your apartment and stay there.

I'm 'bout to die Yet the only thing I find I'm worried about is you I'm 'bout to die Yet the thing on my mind seems to nearly be nothing but you

This is when, moments before your slumber, you told Alastor that you missed him and removed the rule that blocks his connection with you. You know you're not dying, maybe, but there was that slim chance. You also know that wouldn't be what Alastor thinks, and in a way, you reassure him.

I'm just a pawn in your game Not your partner in crime

You used to think that Alastor was using you for something. In fact, you looked for evidence to prove your theory. But the battles he started for you, the demons he killed for you, and the words that made up deovtion and promise to you, it all pointed against that. Isn't it all so weird?

You're slowly killing me And yet I don't mind (You were never meant to win) You're slowly killing me But please take your time

This is where you accepted that you're not gonna be able to push away Alastor anymore. So you take a back seat and let it happen. You were never meant to win against Alastor's love for you, you were never meant to push him out of your life. What Alastor's killing is the doubts and reason you have to push him away, it takes time to heal and for Alsator to find out about your past. So... You want him to take his time.

"Hey, Alastor." You smiled as you waved your hand at him to beckon him over.

"Yes, My Love?" Alastor skipped over, throwing away a demon's limb behind him comically which earned him a burst of carefree laughter from you.

In a swoft move, you pulled him to your level and gave him a butterfly kiss on the lips then stared into his eyes, "I love you, so dearly. Never leave me."

Alastor felt himself melting from your words and the plead he saw as his order to keep you forever. What ever were you thinking to suddenly say this? He won't question since you ended up demanding his attention and presence. So he smiled and nodded, "Of course. I'll never dream of leaving you. I love you too much for that to ever happen, My Beloved."

#Circe's Nighty Writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

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celestialholz · 1 year

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Surrendering fucking Sunflora.

Oh Brassius. Brassius, Brassius, Brassius. I'm going to have to murder you with my bare hands for this one. Don't even need to wake up the Armarouge - you take an extended nap, king, keep those cannons fresh.

Did you know guys that there are thirty-three Surrendering Sunflora in and around Artazon? I do, because I've just spent forty-five minutes of the only life I will ever have working it out. And then another twenty ensuring I'm not wrong, which I possibly still am because this bitch has hidden these things everywhere! Arceus has placed me on this earth only to suffer.

But in spending over an hour on this, finally my soul can rest, because I have confirmation. Confirmation of what, exactly?

... Well, every single Surrendering Sunflora location is representative of what Hassel means to Brassius, in one way or another.

Might want to get your popcorn for this one, friends, maybe grab a blanket...

First though, before I attempt the frankly ridiculous task of explaining all these locations and their meanings, corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures:

They're the same picture.

Hassel is Sunflora in human form and with more dragons, right down to his mostly-green-and-yellow colour scheme and sunshine personality. And we know from this little extract that he is the direct inspiration for Surrendering Sunflora, because after Brassius tells you Hassel saved his life, he adds:

Much like The Harvest is part-Arboliva, part-Brass and part-Hass, as seen here in respective shape, spikiness and dragon colour...

... Surrendering Sunflora is part-Sunflora, part-Hass and part-Brass, in form, representation, and mood at the time of its creation.

Anyway, with that established, a map that took me another forty minutes to put together:

This is the location of every Surrendering Sunflora in and around this goddamn hellscape of a town. (/j, it's very pretty, but I am a salty girl.)

Now, some of these are notably easier to figure out than others, but just for clarity's sake... one to thirty-three, a breakdown. (Of the numbers, not me. Although you pull any more of this shit Brassie, it will be my personal breakdown.) I would screenshot every one, but Tumblr's 10-pic limit is having none of it, so I'll show off the more interesting ones at points and note the rest in text. I will also be looking at them from the perspective of being the Sunflora - the direction the sculpture itself faces.

Now, bear in mind... these are allegorical. I've had to surmise what they mean in most cases, but... that's what an artist does. Art asks you to consider the artist's intent, to interpret what they meant by location, form, colour... whatever the piece entails. It's why we have art critics, why we have museums and art galleries - and all of these point to one singular conclusion: Brassius? Super fucking gay. If you've ever made a fic or a piece of art that hides small details or leaves things just a little to one's imagination, you've been Brassius with these sculptures.

... And frankly, why the hell else are they where they are? These are chosen spots. Most of them aren't even central, or helpful where they are, without an alternate dialogue to them.

So, let's begin!

One: just across and to the left of Two, and directly facing Glaseado Mountain. Hass leading him upwards, to literal higher heights. Doesn't get any grander or higher than Glaseado.

Two: atop a cliff face, and it's already pic time!

This one has a few things to say. First, it's overlooking the gym, second it's pointing directly south if you look at my mini-map. This is one of several that faces south, which is valid - most of Sunflora's dex entries tell us that it loves facing the sun, and in terms of planetary orbit, south is the direction in the day where the sun is at its height... which is telling, when Hassel led Brass out of depression, being his literal sunshine.

Three: right beneath the centre of the maze. Hass guiding him to the heart, his 'core' - helping him find meaning in life.

Four: also in the maze, but near the entrance. A guiding hand when one is lost, at a genuine 'dead end'. A little girl in another dead end of this maze comments how lost she is.

Five: is actually hilarious.

Sir are you fucking kidding me I will fight you in an Every Wich Way parking lot right now

Six: facing local small cliffs. Climbing the smaller hills first is a notable method of depression recovery, and given that Brass' health issues also seem physical, this is a small, easy-to-climb hill - a step to feeling healthier.

Seven and Eight: greeting you as you walk into town for the first time from the direction of Mesagoza. A feeling of comfort and homeliness, which two men with such a connection clearly have.

Nine: has a similar vibe - straight ahead of Seven and Eight, the first thing to greet you in the central plaza. The kind of welcome feeling Brass gets from Hass.

Ten and Eleven: are very obvious. These two directly face the maze, and are facing one another on opposite sides. Trust, warmth, familiarity. Interestingly, one faces east, and one west - where the sun rises and the sun sets. Hassel's always there for him.

Twelve: faces the way out to Levincia beyond, because welcoming works from either side of town.

Thirteen and Fourteen: are both either underneath the gym arena, or very nearly underneath, and Fourteen looks straight at the gym. What did I say about these two taking one another into battle?

Fifteen: is facing the pool... for a man who cries a lot. No further explanation required, but this is one of my favourites for how adorable and accepting it is on Brass' part.

Sixteen, Seventeen and Eighteen: the first of the climbing frame Sunfloras, and all of them are in a line, facing the gym. See Thirteen and Fourteen, but... these ones are also elevated, as though Hassel is watching over him during battle. Another gesture of support. They also happen to overlook a Heterarchical Loop, which we'll revisit in a mo...

Nineteen: is on the side of the climbing frame, staring at the Sunflora field used during the gym challenge. Given that it's also staring at said field's house, this is one of two things - emotional vigilance, or home comforts. It's also beside a version of The Harvest, which we know is part-Hass too.

Twenty: climbing frame, above Sixteen, Seventeen and Eighteen - an even higher guardian, and also one that can see the arena. This is also directly across from the Paradoxical Popper, and coupled with what I just mentioned about the Heterarchical Loop... well, this brilliant piece of meta that you've probably already read (top job, fellow theorist <3) shows us that yeah, these old pieces by an unnamed artist are probably also Brassie's, which makes this completely adorable - we know from Art (4) that Brass considers his old pieces 'shallow trash'. By his masterpieces overlooking them, they act as a reminder - that Hassel believes in him, that he can do brilliant things - that his new work has a purpose. Even if they aren't his old works, the fact that he places them literally higher up shows that he has more respect for something inspired by Hassel than any other works.

Twenty-One and Twenty-Two: the last of the climbing frame ones, and again, at height, and directly facing the gym. Just behind these is a climbing wall, which heads up towards a dragon-coloured Harvest. Considering that we can infer that Hassel influenced Surrendering Sunflora first, as Brass tells us that he created it directly after Hass saved him, having to head up to a Harvest coloured with Hass' type is really quite sweet as it was likely a result of their connection later down the line. But regardless of order, these two are again indicative of Hass' care for him.

Twenty-Three: is... well, at the back of someone's house. What's fun about this one is that A. there is literally no reason for this to be here if it's simply about showing off an art piece, and B. even in the daytime, as you can see, this spot? Perpetually in the shade. Even when Brassius feels dark, there's Hassel - his permanent sunshine, making sure he never feels too alone, or abandoned in a place no one would look for him.

Another of my favourites - the symbolism here is gorgeous.

Twenty-Four and Twenty-Five: greet you if you walk into town from the Levincia side, which is very much along the same lines as Seven and Eight - a warm, sunshine welcome, a peacefulness of spirit.

Twenty-Six: stares directly at the side of the Go-for-Broke Grill... which just so happens to be where one finds Encounter Power: Dragon food. Goddamn gay people and their apples...

Twenty-Seven: is behind the Grill, and looking straight at the Sunflora field. The Sunflora field is not only a core part of the gym test, but the specific direction of this one points at the house attached to the field. So not only is this field full of sunshine, it's overlooked by it, too. Anything directed towards a house also speaks of hearth and home - a comfort, a feeling of literally being 'at home' in someone's presence.

Twenty-Eight and Twenty-Nine: stand as guardians to the Sunflora field, right on either side of its gate. Now, for this one, I would like to draw your attention to a piece of dialogue Hass gives you during the League:

"I am Hassel, the dragon guarding the final fortress of the Elite test."

Whilst this field is no fortress, these ones nevertheless stand taller than any other Surrendering Sunflora in the town - the 'protectors' of the field of sunshine, the warmth and the light Brass has experienced beneath Hass. Now, given that Hass also tells you in the League that his job as a teacher is to guide students and watch them grow... well, here we are. He's helped Brassius grow, prosper, and find his inner light, and he'll protect him at all costs from that darkness. And size matters, here - these are big, they stand out, therefore they are deliberately important. This is Brassius' greatest impression of his love - as a protector, and a guide to the light.

Thirty: stands in the Sunflora field itself. This one is notably smaller than the gatekeepers, the usual size of those around town, and is just across from a dragon Harvest in the same field. Again, why not put your emotional sunshine in a field of your actual ones? (And why not do it twice, y'know, because you're massively dramatic...)

Thirty-One: sees our final return to the climbing frame - this is one of the ones I missed originally, because it's directly beneath it. There's another one down here too, right beneath the Popper, but as they mean the same thing as Twenty-Three, we'll count them together - a location always dark and in shade, illuminated. They're also hemmed in by the wooden walls of the climbing frame - they are, quite literally, trapped - like one might be in their own mind, during depression, without a source of light.

Thirty-Two: is probably my favourite of them all. This harks back to number One, overlooking Glaseado, except...

Well, this looks at another mountain, and it's literally not in Artazon - it's the one I showed you in the very first photo of this post. The location box for Artazon doesn't even crop up. It is, however, facing direct south, but... what's it doing here?

In facing the sun's peak, this one exists to show us that there isn't a mountain Hassel can't help Brassius overcome, however high. Look at where you end up, if you follow this cliff directly from this Sunflora:

The highest peak you can see all of Artazon clearly from, considerably overlooking every other Sunflora that already overlooks core parts of the town important to Brassie. You know what they call that level of symbolism? Fucking love.

And finally, we end on Thirty-Three, which... well. I think we all know what a Pokemon Center does. It heals, it brings your Pokemon back from the brink of death - and who do we know, who's done that for Brassius?

... Pokemon Centers are free, and in this generation, even feature a kindly Nurse Joy who will offer you guidance and assistance through the big, wide, open world of Paldea from the goodness of her own heart.

... This whole town is a love letter. At every turn, you run into a new page of narrative through these Sunfloras: you slot together another meaning, you see the hearts of two men woven into every little stitch. And whether or not this was Brassius' intention, it was almost certainly the intention of those who made him. This is what art directors do, this is what devs hide for you to find. This is Pokemon's ultimate Easter egg, and it is fucking beautiful.

I don't know any more than you lovely people do if they're ever going to officially confirm Hassius as a romantic duo - in love, married, whatever. And I'd love to see it as much as you all would, but... well, I already have. Here it is, right in front of us, if only we're willing to look. Of all the meta I've posted on these two so far, this... yeah, this is the most gay and glorious of them all. And I've still got more to say, just... not on this. We're good here.

... Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do that killing thing I mentioned earlier, though maybe after a nap... sir you must die by my own hand for CRIMES AGAINST MY FREE TIME. (jk, king. Love you, keep doing what you're doing. I am but an average poster without your delicious homosexuality. xoxo)

#ephemeralartshipping #hassius #brassel x hassius #brassius #hassel #pokemon scarlet and violet #I have sunk about five hours of the ONE LIFE I have into this and I regret absolutely nothing if I'm honest lmao #it's the most goddamn beautiful thing I've ever seen #I'm literally that one meme guy who's like 'I've looked at this for five hours now'#... fuck. Just... fuck.#meta #gay gay homosexual GAY.#how are you going to give me the most wholesome love story in the canon and not even officially TELL ME it's the most wholesome love story

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haru-natsuka · 10 months

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The fate (Anastacius x Female Reader x Claude)

Chapter 3 : The abandoned prince

Life was not that easy for the little prince as one person looked at him with hatred while the remaining were ignoring him like he never exist. Most of the time, he was left alone and no one care whether he was in pain or was starving as the person near him would be punished. Only a few souls remained by his side and one of them was a brother who he shared the same blood with...

Female reader will be named as Celestial

At first, Celestial could see how the crown prince was being pretty reluctant in letting her go with him. It was an affair that happens in the palace and no one should discover the secret that the imperial royal tried to hide especially if that person was an outsider. Celestial knew that much as that was one of the things she keep on telling herself to remember but something was bugging her to go and she follows her instinct to act on it.

"Promise me to never let anything that you about to see be known to others?"

"I put my life in regard of the promise" Anastacius seemed to convince by her words and he left no time to waste any longer. His steps were almost like a run now as he rushed to be by his younger brother's side and Celestial, although it was not as ladylike or graceful as how she was meant to be, she just follow him quietly now. She requested it in the first place and she would not request more than that.

As soon as both of the royals arrive in Claude's chamber, Anastacius immediately went to his brother's side with a worried look as his brother was even struggling to answer him like he usually would. He was having a very high fever that even in his whimper state, his breath was hot. The room smells nothing like herbal medicine there is not even a sight of an attendee or royal physician. Truthfully, Claude is an abandoned prince and he would be entirely if it was not for Anastacius' love for his brother.

Celestial tried to examine Claude's state as she advance closer towards his bed. Her eyes gazed at the second prince laying figure from head to toe and she kind of could conclude one thing about the prince's true reason behind his sickness. This was where the unstable aura she keep on feeling from her arrival comes from.

"Claude, what happen to you beforehand? Please tell your brother. Did mother do this?"

Anastacius wasted no more time than to interrogate his little brother. Indeed, he felt slightly guilty leaving Claude alone. If the reason was his mother again, his heart would be broken into million pieces as he was at a loss on what he should do. He did not have enough power to protect his little brother from anything because he was weak...

"I- I don't know- b-but it hurt so much brother" Even in his painful state, Claude would not immediately blame the empress, Anastacius's mother for her action. He knew his presence was a threat to Anastacius's throne but no matter how many times he convinced the empress that he has no desire for the throne, only another punishment came his way and he let the empress has her way. After all, he was the illegitimate child of the emperor.

"I'm here, Claude. I will not go anywhere. Just rest and get better. You can go through this" Anastacius took out his handkerchief and used his mana to make it wet and put it on top of Claude's forehead. Anastacius looks like he wanted to cry as he can barely help his brother. The remorseful feeling was eating him alive. His mana was not that strong to heal him yet.

Without wasting any time, Celestial held her palm just above the handkerchief on Claude's forehead. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on healing the prince. She focus on her power to her palm until her face let out some sweat before she felt her energy transferred out from her palm. After the event finished, the princess left struggling to keep her breathing steady as she suddenly felt there was a lump in her throat which made her rarely could breath properly.

"Princess, are you alright?!" When Anastacius crunched beside her and put his small hand on both sides of her head, she just realize that she was sitting on the floor. Her legs must gave out when she used her ability. It was not her first time using it if non-human living could be counted. Without replying to Anastacius's enquiry, the princess whimper out for a name as best as she could.

"E-Eth-han..."

"Princess?" Anastacius tried to make out the words that Celestial whispered at the end of her breath and yet he did not know what exactly she said or what he should do now. The princess looked like she was about to faint as her eyes were closing slightly. His head moved left and right in a panic to figure out a way. If he shouted for help, would someone hear him? Did the servant who called him from before already leave? His mother must threaten all of them that if they even went near his brother's room, they would be punished severely.

Out of nowhere, a teenage boy appeared in the room which caught the prince off guard. He immediately wrapped his arms protectively around the princess and tried to act brave although his hand is shaking in fright while his heart was beating furiously. The intruder who was from head to toe wearing black cloth stepped closer to them and Anastacius tighten his grip on her as his tall figure loomed over them.

"WH-WHAT DO YOU WANT!"

"Calm down my prince. I just need to take care of my princess. Your hands need to release her" The mysterious boy easily unwrapped Anastacius's hands from Celestial like the kid's strength was nothing compared to his.

"Where are you taking her? Give her back!"

"I'm her bodyguard. You no need to worry prince"

The boy picked up Celestial and proceed to bring her outside from the room. He wanted to run after that boy but his short feet remained glued to the floor. He could not leave his brother alone at this moment and he also notice the embed in the boy's cloth early has the symbol of Selene Kingdom. Claude look stable now as he finally could sleep peacefully without feeling any pain but the unsettled feeling remain as his mind was focused on the princess's condition early.

Chapter 2 << Previous, Next >> Chapter 4

#romance #anastacius de alger obelia #anastacius x reader #claude de alger obelia #claude x reader #wmmap #wmmap anastacius #wmmap fanfic #manhwa #manhwa x reader

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rustytrident · 1 year

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cw: sleepless brain physically rotting on a keyboard, reader isn't christian, references to persephone!mc but if u squint really really hard like if u put ur entire soul into the squint.

"you don't have to do all this, yknow"

you patiently watched as your boyfriend perched himself up on a ladder, trying to tie a garland around a christmas tree twice his size.

"i wanna," he murmured "don't talk t'me i'm concentrating". mammon frowned, trying his best not to fall. would it be easier for him to fly there in his demon form? yes, sure! but some things are done better in the good ol' traditional way. or, at least, in the way people do it in the human world.

"okay then, baby. do your thing," you turned back to your phone, pretending to ignore your boyfriend.

with the corner of your eye, you watched as he turned to face you, a slight pout evident on his face "you're not gonna help me? i thought we had something special, babe. i thought i was your number one demon but no! was it was all a lie? you only wanted me for my body and my money, didn't ya? i trusted yo-"

you stood up with a sigh, pocketing your phone and moving closer to him, standing in front of his legs on the ladder "are you done being dramatic, baby?"

"nuh-uh don't call me baby, you've lost baby privileges. i come all the way here from literal hell to help you decorate for christmas and all you do is ruin this relationship! do you have no heart in you, human?"

he was barely keeping his smile contained at this point, his happiness evident. he hadn't seen you in such a long time, after all (three weeks, five days, eight hours and forty three minutes, but who's counting?), and he was practically vibrating with joy. mammon was a clingy demon, he knew that, but even the most independent ones wouldn't be able to handle being away from their partner for that long.

"i don't even celebrate christmas, 'mmoney, what would the purpose of me decorating be? i'm not christian"

"yeah but are you a capitalist?"

you snorted, "what does that have to do with anything?"

"i dunno," he shrugged, "satan was talking about how christmas nowadays in the human world is a capitalist's dream. thought if you aren't the one u could be the other; 's how i convinced lucifer to come"

baffled, you took a step back to look at him better "you convinced lucifer to let you randomly show up at my home in the human world with a christmas tree that folds at the top cause it's taller than my ceiling, decorations and–" you started counting, "– eight packs of lights because you convinced him i was a capitalist?" you thought if your tone wouldn't give away your shock and amusement, your face would. mammon has never seen anyone's eyebrows go so far up their forehead.

"oh i dunno if i convinced him. i just wrote him a letter and went to lord diavolo for permission to open a portal. he said yes so..."

"oh jesus–"

"ya just said yer not christian!"

"this isn't the point!?" you started laughing, "mammon do you know what capitalism is?"

"human world stuff i don't care about? why would i care for anything else but you up here?"

smiling, you hugged his legs and rested your chin on his stomach, looking up at him. "oh, so you care about me that much huh?"

mammon sighed, turning to the side to hide his blush "what gave you that idea? now shut up and help me decorate this tree"

still smiling, you silently obliged, grabbing the garland from where it flowed down from your demon's hands and helping him get to the parts of the tree he couldn't reach. after a couple minutes of the light christmas music being the only sound in the room – proof of mammon's concentration – you peaked your head from behind the tree to get a look at his face.

little pieces of hair trailed down his forehead, some falling into his eyes, dilated and focused. you had decided that even with a gun to your head you wouldn't be able to choose which part of him you liked most, internally melting at how perfect his skin looked, and how soft his lips felt (if you were asked to swear on what you deem as holy, you would whisper mammon's name like a prayer so ancient it rivals the mystery of the linear a).

yet, you don't say anything, and you continue looking, engraving the smallest of his eyelashes into your memory.

"quit starin' at me, human," he cut your appreciation segment short – damn him and his bird sight.

you huffed, lovesick smile turning mischievous as a light bulb lit up in your head. "can i ask you something?"

"shoot," he hung up a ball – yellow, golden – on the lower branches.

"why are we really decorating a christmas tree?"

mammon's eyes widened slightly, before a sigh escaped his lips. of course you would notice, of course it wasn't like him to show up with an excuse like that. of course, he isn't stupid, and he knows you aren't either. if he wanted to see you he could have, without all the extra effort and time spent preparing. of course, he knew it wasn't worth lying. he was talking to you, after all.

"we still decorate back home. the lights of the tree make you feel less lonely after your fourth hour of being strung up from the ceiling," he picked up another ball – blue, electric, "guess i wanted ya to feel less lonely when 'm not here too".

a bittersweet feeling erupted in your chest, but before you managed to say anything, he continued.

"it ain't anything deep so don't worry about it. just felt like doin' something domestic with ya and that was the first thing to come to mind," mammon peaked to your side of the tree, its white colour blending in with his hair, "are ya done over there? i want us to make the gingerbread house before lucifer roundhouses my ass into the next century after he finds out i snuck out"

"yup, all done, babe," you got up at the same time as him, kissing his shoulder as you moved to the kitchen first. "you want some hot chocolate? i also got some qurabiya i made the other day," you muttered while opening up your cupboards to see if you had anything else you could offer your guest, "oh! a ferrero rocher, maybe?"

he hugged your waist, his chest flush against your back, "whatever's easiest". mammon kissed your head and moved onto setting up the materials you would need for your debut as bobs the builders.

after a couple minutes of eating whatever sweets you had on hand and sipping on hot chocolate, he turned to you, the side of his mouth coated with powdered sugar "oh, by the way, you got a balcony, right?"

"well where else were we going go put the 10 Ft Lighted Christmas Inflatable Archway, Inflatable Santa Claus And Snowman Arch Indoor And Outdoor Holiday Decorations, Built-in Led Lights, Large?"

oh.

oh no.

this can't be good, you know it can't, yet you already feel a laugh bubbling up in your chest "yeah, why?"

"ten feet?? mammon that's too big!"

"hahaha! that's what she said!"

—

that night, mammon did the walk of shame back to the hol with a wounded pride and a half inflated 10 Ft Lighted Christmas Inflatable Archway, Inflatable Santa Claus And Snowman Arch Indoor And Outdoor Holiday Decorations, Built-in Led Lights, Large under his armpit.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #mammon x reader #mammon obey me #if this is really bad don't tell me #let me live in ignorance let me live in peace #sing me a song // the song of our glory

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pauking5 · 5 months

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Addicting Taste Chapter 7

Synopsis: Enishi Yukishiro was on a mission to execute his piece de la resistance. A plan to avenge his beloved sister. Until you showed up. Will you be a part of his downfall or will you try to save him?

Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, sunshine and sunshine protector, comedic relief, angst, slow burn, some fluff

Word count: 11.4k+

A/N: This chapter is probably the bane of my existence. All I'm going to say is that it's one of my favorites and I am so proud of it. I hope Enishi figures his feelings out sooner or later. Hope you like it. Enjoy lovelies, Paula.

Now Playing: run for the hills by Tate McRae

Anger, fear and pain.

That was all you could feel as you laid on the floor in front of your bed. They had a boxing match in your head, throwing different thoughts into the middle of the ring to see which one had the most impact and could come up on top to win.

The anger argued that you had every right to go back in the basement and rip the man's head off. To pull out his guts with your bare hands as he would watch in horror. But that was Barairo talking. That wasn't you. She yelled at you to let her out the minute you laid your hands on his collar to show him just as psychopathic you could get. You tried to keep her away as much as you could but the second your eyes laid on your mom's necklace around his neck you wanted to throw the door to her prison cell open wide and let her devour everything in her sight.

And you almost did. If it wasn't for Enishi's hand latching around your hand to ground you and bring back to earth. Your eyes found his, pleading for destruction only to get refused by a wary shake of his head. You suddenly felt self-conscious as you registered that all the eyes in the room were directed at you with a mix of confusion and pity, the feeling you hated the most in the world because that was the only thing present in people's eyes every time they looked at you. Whether it was begging for food on the street or fighting in the rings, it was always there, reminding you that you had no safe place to call yours in the world anymore. That everything you knew was gone and you only had yourself to blame.

The fear insisted that it was all because you couldn't do more to prevent any of this happening. Your parents disappearing. The massacre written in the walls of the place you called home. Not being able to finish the job when you had the chance at your feet. All because you were scared and weak. You couldn't fight for them just like you couldn't fight for yourself back there on the hill when Enishi had to step in and save you. Or back at the casino where you almost got injured fatally because you couldn't pay attention to the world around you.

You tried to put on your bravest front when you trained with him, masking all of that fear even when you felt insecure about your lack of skills. You tried your hardest in training, but whenever you went one step forwards, you would fall four steps behind when it came to the real thing. It was the fear that made you run away, trying to hide yourself away in hopes no one could find you. Even if it meant hiding yourself in the depths of your soul.

In the end, the pain was the only one that could win the fight. It was the only thing you felt as you laid on the cold wooden floors staring at the ceiling day and night, clasping your mother's necklace close to your chest. Time stopped for you in that basement. The hands on the clock ceased their ticking as you drowned the sound out with your cries or your fits of rage directed at things in the room. that would end up all over the floor. The jungle of thoughts in your head was making you lose yourself and the only thing keeping you from spiralling was the hope that you would hear something about your mom.

I need you, mom. I don't know what to do without you. Please come back to me. Please tell me what to do to find you.

You couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't train. You couldn't function at all. These thoughts seemed to be the only ones keeping you sane enough in the confines of your room.

The only times you did leave your room was to knock on Enishi's office door to ask if he had any new information about your mother, be it any small speck of a lead on her whereabouts, her state or if your father was alive too. But the answer was the same each time.

He won't talk.

Enishi hated the way you looked more broken each time you came by. He tried to get you out of your room. He would bring you food and leave it outside of your door at lunch only to find it still there by dinner. He tried to get you to train but you refused to even hear it. The light in your eyes dimmed the more you stayed locked in your room and he was running out of ideas to get the you he knew back.

He tried to make that son of a bitch talk but he just wouldn't budge, no matter what torture techniques he tried with him. He wanted to have something to give you whenever you came around to keep you with him longer but every time he tried changing the subject you would run away back to your room.

-----------

After two days of moping around in your room you finally decided to start training again. You needed to get better if you wanted to find your parents any time soon and strengthening your skills was the starting point.

Enishi saw your determination as you pulled him out of his office to train with you at random hours of the day or night. But he also saw that you were pushing yourself way too much. You wanted to get better but he wouldn't sit there and watch you hurt yourself like that willingly. So, whenever he refused training with you it was for the sake that you would take a break yourself. But you kept going. Whether it was raining or it was too cold to be outside you were there practicing with the sword until you got it right.

Last night it was raining heavily, the garden grounds turning to sloshy mud. But the storm inside of your heart was louder and more menacing than any rain mother nature could bring. Your clothes were soaked and stuck to you uncomfortably, hair wet like you just took a bath. With a solid grip on your sword you practiced thrusting until that one attack came out perfectly. You did it over and over, until the mud around you made it harder to continue.

-------

Waking up this morning was pure agony. You got a few hours of sleep from exhausting yourself enough to feel like you could fall asleep peacefully. It felt like the room was caving in on you and all you wanted to do was beg whatever force put you on this earth to take you back and leave you there if it meant that the throbbing in your body could stop, even for a little while. But you had to get up and go back to training because Enishi finally agreed to train with you again. It took a lot of convincing to get back to it together so you couldn't kick it away just because you didn't feel 100%.

The duvet around you was doing little to keep the warmth in as the room felt way too cold for your liking. You got out of bed with a groan, all of your muscles aching as you trudged to the bathroom with slow steps. Stopping in front of the mirror you took a look at yourself. If this was a zombie movie you would have gotten the lead role. The dark circles around your eyes looked like a raccoon's, a dark contrast to the paleness of your face. It scared you to look at yourself and the hollowness that consumed the light in your eyes.

You shook your head and turned on the tap, slapping some cold water on your face to make yourself look more alive. Your cheeks were weirdly warm under your cold palms but you brushed it off to be due to the sudden temperature change in the weather. With a bit of a struggle you managed to change out of your clothes and stepped outside of your messy room, making a mental note to clean it up after training.

You thought of stopping by the kitchen to put something in your system but you decided against it as you didn't really have an appetite. You drank some water but the liquid seemed to do more damage than aid your dry throat. Placing down the half drank glass of water in the sink you headed towards the garden. Opening the doors, you felt your lungs struggling to breathe in the chilly air.

Enishi was already there swinging around his sword to warm up. Sensing your presence behind him he turned around to you and scanned you quickly. He hasn't seen you in days and he could tell that something felt off about you today. Your shoulders were slumped over like you were in pain. Your eyes looked sunken in, worse than they were the last time he saw you. Not to mention that your normally rosy cheeks looked awfully pale for you to be anywhere near okay. Even your steps seemed slower. They weren't like your usual anxiety soaked steps whenever you came to train, but they were different. He wanted to ask you if you were doing okay but you beat him to it and changed the subject.

“Let’s-“ you started talking but your scratchy voice stopped you. Clearing your throat you tried that again trying to sound more convincing so you wouldn't raise any suspicions about your state.

“Let’s get this over with,” you said as you put on a fake smile. He took one more look at you and shook his head, moving to his place. He thought you would tell him if something was wrong but seeing as you were so hellbent on training he didn't prod any further.

He knew you practiced one move the most these days. A slash across the diagonal, good in any close combat. He wanted to see how you would use it against an opponent so you started sparring. He came at you slow at first to ease you back into training with another person. But the more you sparred he saw you were back to dodging his moves instead of attacking him. It confused him that you kept stepping back every time he came closer.

“You’re supposed to attack,” he said as a matter of fact.

“I know. I’m just trying to figure out a scheme of attack,” you lied.

You could barely keep yourself upright, legs feeling like lead every time you took a step. Dodging his hits took less energy than attacking him, but it still made you sweat more than you normally do during training. A fever was taking a hold of you and that was bad news. You didn’t know how much longer you could hide your predicament before he would take notice and bench you for an undetermined period and you didn't want that. But the sparring got to a point where it was way too intense, the cold air around you changing to an unbearable heatwave. Enishi continued to charge at you and you barely caught most of his hits. You felt like you were going to pass out if you didn't take a break.

One misplaced balance of your sword and Enishi was quick to notice something was wrong from the way you faltered when he swung from a closer distance. You took longer to lift the blade and tired out too easily when blocking his own. So he stepped back from you and put down his sword. You stopped and looked at him confused, hoping your body didn't give away too much about how shitty you were feeling. Straightening your back to look more stable than you felt inside at the moment, you tried to get your rapid breaths under control.

“Why are we stopping?” you panted.

Getting air in was a pain as less and less usable air travelled inside of your chest.

“You don’t feel well do you?” he asked, fixing you with his eyes in case you decided to lie to his face.

“I’m fine,” you said through gritted teeth. “I just want to get this move perfectly.”

He tilted his head at you looking for any signs you were lying and was surprised that he couldn't find any because it did seem like you were. He got pretty good at reading you in the month you already spent together and knew when to call it quits in annoying you or when you were overthinking. But right now it was hard to figure out what was going on in that head of yours. Your body looked ready to give out but your eyes were piercing through him telling him you were just too focused. He seemed to buy your doughnuts for now but he still looked a little worried.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take a break?”

“I’m sure.”

You looked too determined and he failed to see through that.

You resumed training, more forceful attacks coming your way. Enishi got too lost in thought to see that he was delivering blows a little too hard, like always. It was one of the things you liked about him the most: how focused he was on training. He would get really engrossed in it even if was just practice and usually you would be able to sense his attacks. But right now your senses were in overload.

You tried to hit back but the most you mustered was a slash that almost accidentally cut into his arm if it wasn't for his quick thinking to duck out of the way. He moved around you looking for your uncovered areas and you tried your hardest to spot him, breaths coming out heavier as you whirled around. Your swords clashed again and you almost had him when all of a sudden he went for a side cut from your left with his sword. You barely defended the hit by pushing your blade to catch his, the quickness of the move sending your vision spinning.

The exhaustion, the heat and the sweat clinging to your body overwhelmed you. You tried to push his sword once more before you leaned your weight on your sword for support, dark spots appearing in your clouded vision. You didn't even notice you were careening to the right until your blade screeched as it slid down the length of his all the way down to the hilt. Before you could hit the ground you heard the blades clang to the floor as strong arms secured around you to keep you upright. Your ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton unable to register that Enishi was frantically calling your name. A cold hand touching your cheek offered some relief from the warmth boiling your body. Your head fell on his shoulder and you looked up at him, eyes focusing enough to see the worry on his face. You could see his lips moving but none of the words made any sense until they finally made their way to your ears.

“I knew something was off,” he said looking down at you with a glint of guilt in his eyes.

“I’m fine,” you grunted regretting even speaking as it turned the mild headache you had into a drilling migraine. Your hand moved to hold your head as the pain only got worse.

"You're anything but fine right now."

The tone in his voice told you he was angry with you, probably for lying to his face that you were fine when you definitely weren't. And for continuing to train when he always told you that training without being in the mindset or the health for it was bad for you. But you refused to listen and look where that got you now.

"You're so fucking stubborn."

In a swift move, Enishi hooked one arm under your legs and secured the other around your back lifting you up to carry you back inside. He figured that staying outside in the cold would do you more worse than good. You wanted to protest but you didn't want to argue with him about your idiotic life choices right now, so you snuggled your head closer to the crook of his neck. that provided you some warmth as your body was now racked by chills. You felt like dozing off from the comfort of your temporary pillow until you felt the vibrations of his voice against your temple.

“Hey, stay awake. We’ve got to get your fever down a little before you sleep.”

You tried your hardest to keep your eyes open but the way he carried you lulled you to sleep and made you a little nauseous at the same time.

“Miyu, open your eyes,” he said sternly, picking up his pace.

“It makes me dizzy,” you croaked out annoyed at him.

“Then keep talking to me. Say anything, just don’t shut down just yet,” he asked you, concern too present in his voice for you not to notice it.

Why was he so worried? It wasn't like you would drop dead if you closed your eyes for a minute.

You tried to think of what to say that would be more than just rambling random words and you came empty-handed. That was until you looked up at him and you saw those crystal balls glistening in the dark hallway. His eyes.

“I like your eyes,” you said and he seemed to get a little taken aback by your confession as his steps slowed down.

Truthfully, it was something you didn’t want to tell him just yet. It was like your own little secret. You weren't one to fancy prolonged eye-contact with anyone or look people in the eye when they spoke. But you found yourself looking for his almost all the time. You admired the way they twinkled with every emotion he was feeling. Most of the time they blazed with anger at the world, consuming everything in their wake. But there were a few times where they twinkled with joy, whenever he talked about his sister or when he was spending time with you. There was something oddly comforting about them and they always put you at ease. Swallowing your pride for once you admitted to this secret out loud.

“What do you like about my eyes?” he asked, uncertainty behind his question.

If only you knew. I could write books and it still wouldn't be enough to describe what they make me feel.

“They’re dark and so full of pain. But they hold so much warmth in them. You don’t want to admit it but you’re not just a big bad mafia boss killing people for a living. You’re more than that, to me at least,” you said the last part in a mumble hoping he wouldn't hear it but he did, tensing slightly and halting his steps.

He looked down at your shivering form tucked safely in his arms. He had so much to say to you but he settled for a quick kiss on your burning forehead for the time being. It was the smallest peck, so soft you could have missed it if you didn't have your eyes open. It was his way of acknowledging the things you said and that you will talk more about it when it was time. But for now taking care of you was a priority.

In your dazed state you noticed he went past your room and he saw the confusion on your face.

"You're staying in my room for a while so I can make sure you're going to get better," he said as he pushed the doors to his room open, the warmth of his room surrounding your body. You whined in protest when he headed for the bathroom knowing exactly what he was thinking. You felt anything but ready for a shower right now.

He stepped inside and placed you on the floor an arm still around you in case you slid down to the floor. He turned on the water and let it get warm as he turned his attention back to you. You were gripping his tank top in a frenzy trying to hold yourself up against the bouts of nausea. He kept a hand around you to let you know he wasn't going anywhere and that you were safe in case anything happened.

"I know you don't want to take one right now," he said as he moved some hair away from your face. "But if you sleep this sweaty, you're just going to get worse."

You shook your head in his chest childishly but you knew there was no way to get out of it now. He wouldn't leave it alone until he saw you healthy enough to annoy again and you just had to accept his perusing.

"Just hold onto me and I'll do the rest, okay?"

Giving in to his pleas as he rubbed your back comfortingly, you nodded weakly. You hated how easily he got under your skin and knew everything that made you click in such a short time. Back rubbing was one of the things you loved and he always did it when he needed you to accept something that was for your own good.

He helped you undress discarding your sweat clad clothes to the floor. Once he took his own off too he helped you step into the shower. The warm water hit your body and the comfort made your knees weak. You remembered you haven't had a shower since your last one that was with him too, after your bathtub adventure before the mission. He still didn't replace the broken water tap and you had a feeling it was because he wanted you to shower in his room willingly without him whisking you away for other adventures. It was sneaky but you gave him credit for it being a smooth move to get closer to you.

He stepped in with you and checked to see if you were okay or ready to drop still.

"Let me know if it gets too much and I'll get you to bed, okay?"

You nodded and wrapped your arms around his torso with the little energy you had left. Your head laid flat to his chest where you could hear his heartbeat that seemed to be accelerating beyond a normal speed. He must have been panicking a little and you felt bad for putting him through all this trouble. You wanted to push him away and tell him to let you deal with the mess you caused yourself. He didn't need to take care of you like this, especially after you shut him out. You didn't think of his feelings at all and it made you feel even more guilty than you already did for everything else going wrong in your life.

But there he was, holding you close to him so gentle like you were made out of glass. He washed your hair, massaging your scalp softly to get rid of all the dirt that gathered there from your days spent training outside. It felt like he got rid of some of the dirt in your soul too. As cold as he was, he was the also the warmth you needed. You knew he cared even if he didn't show it a lot.

He tried to hurry, moving to wash the rest of your body as you looked ready to lay down on the floor of the shower cabin and just sleep there like it was a premium bed. He kept asking you things to keep you awake and talking even if all he received from you was a blabbering mess of mumbles.

Once you were cleaner than you have been before in your life, he turned off the water and wrapped you in a bathrobe. Leading you to the counter near the sink, he placed you on top of it while he dashed to his room to bring you some clothes. The warmth of the shower water was replaced by the cold marble surface that made your shivers return even worse than before, coming with a new wave of nausea. He started dressing you and you put your head on his shoulder, managing to only pull a blouse on you before he noticed the way you gripped his own that he threw on harshly before he came to you.

"What's wrong?"

You had your eyes shut tight trying to swallow whatever tried crawling up your sore throat.

"Miyu, look at me."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up-" you didn't even get to finish as the bile rose in your throat. You hopped off the counter and leaned over the toilet bowl emptying whatever your stomach gathered up. Enishi knelt down beside you a hand grabbing the hair out of your face while the other rubbed your back.

"What are you even throwing up? You haven't eaten anything in the past few days."

"My hopes and dreams."

He would have laughed at that if it wasn't for your head hanging above the toilet bowl. It amazed him how you still tried to ease the seriousness of the situation in your state.

When you were done you wiped your mouth on a spare towel and threw it in the corner, falling back into his chest. The shivers intensified as your whole body was now consumed by cold from all sides, the only source of warmth being the man beside you. He pulled you up from the floor, careful not to make you more woozy and took you to bed.

He placed you down on the mattress and tried to dry a bit of your hair and then let you lay down. You grabbed one of the blankets he put on the bed, wrapping your body like a burrito, while he covered you with the duvet. He had more blankets prepared in case you needed them and you made a mental note to thank him for the extra thought. The extra thoughts coming from him lately warmed you up inside because they were like little notes telling you he was there and ready to help with anything and you couldn't tell where all this care was coming from in the first place.

He got in bed next to you sitting against the headboard and you cuddled into his side, seeking his warmth. Your body couldn't produce enough heat even after the hottest shower you ever took and the fact that you were wrapped tightly in bundles. He shifted closer to you and carded a hand through your hair, which soothed your migraine.

"Do you need me to get you anything?"

You shook your head and grabbed onto his other hand pulling it on top of your stomach. He laced his fingers with yours. All you wanted was to have him next to you right now.

"I just need you here."

The last few days were hell to bear alone and it took ruining your health to notice that accepting help wasn't all that bad. Enishi was ready to help you no matter what you needed and you didn't know how to thank him. The way he cared for you was something akin to the care your parents gave you. As scary as it was to let yourself feel it you couldn't help but welcome it. Maybe a part of your chills didn't come from the cold but from the way he was acting towards you.

Emotions swirled around your head and everything suddenly felt too overwhelming. The muscles aching, the migraine, the pain that was numb for now but promised to return soon. You tried to hold the tears at bay but you couldn't. So you let them out unable to keep things bottled in anymore.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked as he cupped your face.

You tried to say something but all that came out was air through choked sobs.

"Miyu, what hurts? Talk to me."

"Everything," you cried out as you hid your face in his side.

You wanted to tell him every thing that hurt from the biggest to the smallest thing but you couldn't do more than tighten your grip around him. He moved to hug you, pulling you on top of his chest.

"I'm here. I've got you now," he whispered as he rubbed your back. "You're going to be okay."

--------

His heart stopped when he saw your eyes roll to the back of your head back there. He tried to keep the worry away but he couldn't help panicking a little when the familiarity of the scene hit him way too hard. A fraction of a vivid memory took him back to the day he lost his sister, a day he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried.

The snow blanket that was forming around the woods made him smile. It wasn't long until he got back to the house and he could play in the snow with Tomoe. The recent times he went over to her place ended up in arguments and unwanted words thrown at each other all because he didn't want to accept that man for her. He was walking trouble in his eyes and Tomoe could yell at him all she wanted but it wouldn't change the disdain he felt for him. He hoped they could make up this time around and just forget about everything else.

Last time it snowed this much they made the biggest snowman. They placed him in front of the house and called him the guardian, decorating his face in an angry manner. His mouth was an intimidating sneer made from a few stones that matched the small twig eyebrows above his eyes. Tomoe forgot to pick up carrots but she used a sweet potato for his nose. It looked absolutely horrendous but it was their source of entertainment until the cold winter passed and the snowman melted with the coming of spring.

He went into town and picked up more sweet potatoes so she could boil some too. He almost made it to the house but stopped once he heard grunts nearby, followed by his sister's voice so he followed the sound, pushing away frozen tree branches until he reached the scene. His heart stopped at the sight.

Tomoe was holding tightly onto a man to protect him from the man he called trouble. The one she fell for, pushing her only family in the process. He slashed his sword across her back without a glint of regret in his eyes, crimson blood staining the white snow as she fell to the floor. He had the audacity to cradle her close to his body as he watched the light drain from her eyes.

He wanted to run to her and be the one holding her instead. He deserved to be the last one she saw before her eyes were consumed by darkness. But the fear kept him glued to the tree a few feet away, unable to move or do anything else but cry and blame himself that he couldn't do more.

He hoped he would never experience that feeling again but here he was, cradling you to his body like the world tried its hardest to take you away. Your cold scared him not because you looked the worst he'd ever seen you but because of how much pain you went through to get you in this state. He wasn't a fool. He knew this was the result of you closing yourself away from him and everyone else to process everything. You were living his worst nightmares all on your own and it made him want to burn the world. He knew he couldn't take your pain away and feel it for you even if he wished to.

He wanted you to talk to him. Tell him everything that hurt and ask him to fix it for you. Tell him that you needed him to hold the sky off your shoulders for a minute and he would hold it for as long as he could. But he couldn't push you. He knew better that help was best when it was accepted rather than forced. He just hoped you would ask for it and lean on him like you let him lean on you that rainy night in the garden. If you didn't find him in time he might have lost it completely and there would be no coming back from that.

He checked your temperature hourly, hand laid across your forehead hopeful that you would get better. Whenever it went up you would toss and turn around in your sleep, waking up abruptly to search for him in the dark. He tried to reassure you that everything was okay and that you had nothing to worry about as he went back to being your human pillow. Every time it happened you found his hand and held it close to your chest in a death grip until your hold would loosen telling him you fell back asleep.

The day turned into night and he didn't move an inch from his spot beside you. He just wanted to watch over you and keep you safe and warm, occasionally dozing off with you in his arms.

-------

You woke up to the smell of food. Sighing contently you opened your eyes and sat up slowly just as Enishi entered the room, a bowl and a mug of tea balanced carefully in his hold. He smiled seeing you awake.

"How did you sleep?" he asked as he placed everything on the nightstand to sit next to you.

"A little better. Is that for me?"

"Yes. It's porridge and some tea."

Porridge was the bane of your existence. As much as you knew it was what your body needed to get better you hated it with a burning passion. Your mother made it whenever you got sick and you always tried to convince the maids into eating it for you on the promise that you will stop being a trouble for them for at most a month. But they would always rat you out to your parents and you would get scolded for it.

"I want real food," you mumbled disappointedly. You puffed your cheeks and made puppy eyes at him to let you off this time but by the stern look on his face he wasn't buying your doughnuts anymore.

"You're getting real food when we're sure you can keep it down. For now it's this," he placed the bowl in your hands and waited for you to try it.

You took a spoonful and put it in your mouth only to grimace at the taste. This was anything but porridge.

"What the hell is this?"

"Hey, now. I know I'm not the greatest cook but you have to eat that whole bowl if you want real food."

He knew he botched the recipe but as bad as it tasted you needed the nutrients. You didn't eat anything in days and giving you a whole meal wasn't a good choice. He really didn't want to watch a rerun of your hopes and dreams spilling out through your guts again.

You sighed and ate a few more spoons until your stomach said it was enough and you handed him the bowl. He gave you the tea and you took a sip smiling at the taste as it was your favorite. At least he knew how to sweeten you. You placed it back on the nightstand and leaned back in bed.

"I have some stuff to work on in my office. If you need anything please call me. As big or small as it may seem."

He was coddling way you too much and it wasn't in his nature. You felt bad for keeping him away from his work. But he reassured you time and time again that it was okay to lean on him. Even if what went through your head wasn't a big deal. It came from a place of understanding and as much as he tried to hide it you could tell he went through the same thing.

You tried sleeping but every position you changed to seemed more uncomfortable than the previous. Each time you did fall asleep the thoughts that left you in pain for days on end would creep back into your mind and you would wake up looking for him. Deciding that enough was enough you decided to pay him a visit. Wrapping one of his chunkier kimonos around you, you stepped out of the comfort of the bed and went to his office. He sighed when he saw you come in like a lost puppy looking for its owner.

"You're supposed to be in bed."

"I was getting bored in there," you said as you walked to his couch and plopped yourself on it getting comfortable.

"Well, you're not going to find much fun here either."

You didn't really need any entertainment. You just didn't want to be alone and if you just sat there with him whilst he worked it was enough for you.

After a while, you dozed off on the couch to the sound of him scribbling away on paper. He heard your light snores and looked up from his maps to see you fast asleep, head nuzzled into the plush of the couch backrest with your knees pulled up to your chest. He smiled and shook his head at you walking to to your spot, He only now noticed that you were wrapped tightly in his kimono. It was a dark blue one he really liked because it was comfortable to wear. He thought you suited warmer colours until now when he saw you in blue. The material was big enough to be a blanket on your small form, falling over you so effortlessly. As if his aura rubbed off on you in a way that welcomed it rather than pushing it away like the other people he tried getting close to before. He knelt beside the couch and pulled it up to cover your exposed shoulder.

"You're so stubborn," he whispered.

He slid his arms behind your back and your legs and lifted you up to take you back to the warmth of his bed.

--------

The days passed by in a blur. You spent most of the time sleeping or annoying Enishi because he wouldn't let you do anything else. He benched you from cooking or training and it drove you insane.

It took about a week until he let you train again in a way that wasn't straining for you. Little by little you got your strength back and it showed in your sparring sessions. You could handle yourself better and it was all thanks to him and his incessant nagging telling you to rest and take it easy. As annoying as it was you had to accept his way of nursing you back to health.

You had a lot of time to think about everything, thoughts ranging from finding your mother to figuring out Enishi. His presence affected you in a multitude of ways lately. You contemplated his actions, his touches, his words. Every gesture he made towards you that you couldn't understand the reason of. It went beyond the sex drive you felt mutually and the thoughtless words said in the act.

It all started the night of the casino mission. You tried shaking off his words, convincing yourself it was just the lust talking for him and that it was the same in your case. But when you told him 'I need you' you said it with your whole being. And it seemed to change everything.

You started questioning if he felt the same things you did. If the hands carding through your hair or the late night conversations in the dark meant anything to him, because they meant everything to you. If they did, he was making a great job at hiding that because you spent the whole week analysing every single thing that happened to the both of you until you wanted to literally take a bite out of the wall.

As blind to the obvious as you were sometimes, you thought you could pinpoint where his feelings stood, but you often got side-tracked by the butterflies forming in your stomach while you watched him cook for you or tell you new facts about the swords you were training with. He did everything to turn you away from thinking too much and it felt like an avoidance tactic. You needed to talk about a lot of things sooner or later and you hoped it would be the first.

The next mission was nearing up and you shoved all of these thoughts under the rug for the time being. You needed to focus because it involved your mother. The man in the basement finally chirped after going days without basic necessities like food and sunlight. He gave Enishi a lead on your mother's whereabouts, restoring a little hope in your broken soul.

She was apparently working as a maid for a mafia he had ties with. They were throwing a ball to celebrate the birthday of their leader and she was going to be there. You took the information with a grain of salt because it seemed like it was too good to be true. You thought of the possibility that he just tried to lead you further away from finding her. But Enishi made everyone dig around and they found that the ball was truthfully being held tonight.

Enishi told you to stay put, insisting that it was only him who would go with the rest of the gang. You tried to convince him to let you come but he refused to hear it. So, like any kid getting told not to do something, you went and did the exact opposite, just getting dressed to kill.

You finished strapping your pistols to your thighs under the dress and looked in the mirror, smiling softly at the person starring back at you. She was so different from the person who came here a little over a month ago. She was so scared of herself, unable to let go of her past. But now she looked so confident in her own skin and so much more powerful. She was so much healthier too and back to herself that it made you proud. You blew a kiss to yourself in the mirror and winked at how pretty you looked. Confidence looked hella good on you.

Enishi told you about the mission a few days ago and you thought of every possible way to not let him leave in that carriage without you. It took a little prodding and the promise of a month full of desserts for the whole gang but you managed to coax Wu into keeping Enishi here as long as you needed to get ready.

Enishi was pacing around, mid-argument with his second in command as to why he wasn't moving the carriages. Wu just shook his head and kept his mouth sealed shut as part of your deal. Enishi stopped yelling once he heard the click of an all too familiar pair of heels and cursed himself for being so blind. He should have seen it coming from the way you gave in so easily and stopped trying to convince him to let you come.

Turning around to scold you his breath got stuck in his throat. You looked breathtaking. Your hair was down to the side, locks falling in wavy curls over your shoulders. You were wearing the red qipao dress he bought for you at the market even if you hated his guts for buying it for you. But the dress seemed to have some major adjustments that altered it a lot from the original.

The constricting part at the top was turned into an off-the-shoulder neckline and the small slit on the side run up higher almost to your hip. The bottom was full of flares from the same material in a darker burgundy. The sleeves were now made into gloves that ran all the way up to your elbows, fabric at the end looking like scraps from the corset you wore the night of the casino mission. Your mother's necklace sat around your neck, red stone bringing out your eyes.

"Close your mouth, dearest. A fly might fly in."

You were satisfied by his reaction that if fuelled your confidence beyond the normal levels.

"Is that what I think it is? Miyu?"

You followed his eyes and noticed he was staring at the very familiar golden material running around the bottom that you used to amplify the dragon embellished on the slit by adding a few pieces of material to the red flares.

"You said I could borrow anything from your closet," you scoffed.

"I said borrow, not cut up to pieces."

"Oh, come on. It looks less like a wedding dress now, doesn't it?"

You batted your eyelashes at him and he huffed an annoyed sigh. Letting Wu help you into the carriage you got comfortable and smiled back at him. You knew you were in deep shit for countless reasons, but the biggest being that you cut up the really expensive golden kimono in his wardrobe. It was gathering dust in there anyways. At least you put it to good use.

"Shall we go?"

As angry as he was at you he was glad to see that mischief smile back on your face. He was going to let you off. For now.

"You will be the death of me one day, Miyu Hikari," he grunted before he sauntered in the carriage next to you.

He let his eyes linger on you for a few more moments. He couldn't help but admire the alterations to the dress and how skillfully they were done. It was clear as daylight you were a Hikari. You had craftsmanship running in your blood as much as you didn't want to admit it.

"When did you even modify the dress?"

"I think you forgot that you had me on house arrest for like a week," you said playing with one of the ruffles on your dress.

"It wasn't house arrest."

"It was."

"It wasn't."

"Twas," you sung.

"Twasn't," he followed suit.

The both of you erupted into a fit of giggles. It was your turn to let your eyes wander over his outfit, unable to get enough of it from just one look.

"You know, you don't look too bad yourself."

"I let Wu style me. Don't know if that was a mistake or not considering he wears furs like he's the madame of the house."

"He did a good job."

Wu had an eye for fashion and you had to give him that because when you stepped out of the mansion you thought you were hallucinating. You only saw a broad back clad in what looked like a western suit. You recalled him saying he would never be caught dead in something like that. Thank god you didn't miss the show.

The wind was knocked out of you when he turned around and you got a full view of the outfit. He wore a full tailored black suit. The vest sat on top of a white shirt, hugging his body like it was made on order. It was the sluttiest thing a man could wear. A silver chain ran from the vest to the blazer, matching the silver earring in his ear. Thoughts that weren't exactly pristine passed through your mind and it took a huge amount of rationality to not act them out.

The thing that shocked you the most was that he wore a fucking tie. You knew he hated that tie by the way he fidgeted with it to loosen it around his neck. He most likely contemplated arson from the way he looked at Wu. But he definitely looked the mafia boss part now and it made your knees weak.

"Why didn't you stay back like I told you?"

"I think it's fair to say you already know I don't listen to orders. And this is about my mom," you fidgeted with the piece of fabric in your hand. "I've spent so many years searching for any trace of them and I can't just sit back when we might know where at least one of my parents is."

He put his hand over yours and pulled it to his leg, rubbing comforting circles on your knuckles to ease your nervousness. He was doing it again. Getting you out of your mind to focus back to the present.

"I know. I just didn't want you to come in case it was a false lead."

"Even if it is we will check it out together."

The carriage came to a halt. You heard excited chatter and music which meant you arrived at the venue for the ball.

"You ready?"

"Always."

-----------

The place was nothing like you've ever seen before. You've seen mansions that looked like castles before, when you used to work the paid assassin gig for the rich and powerful, but none of them came close to this one. The sculpted fountains outside should have been enough of a giveaway that this place was scalded in gold and money that was murdered and stolen for. No human being should be able to have this much wealth especially when it wasn't theirs to keep.

The event was on an invitation basis and you were surprised to see Enishi pull out one with your names on it handing it to the men standing guard at the doors. Once they gave you the okay they opened the doors to let you in and closed them back up. You walked in and realised you were on the first floor of the building. Walking further away from the horde of people around the entrance, you scouted the place. The architecture was really European, column walls lined on every side supporting the building. The artwork on the walls was the same, the running theme of naked people painted angelically to depict romance sneering at you, as if to say you didn't deserve romance too.

You sighed leaning over the stone railing as you scouted out the place. You had a perfect view of the ballroom and all the guests that pooled downstairs. Most of them were couples of all ages, dressed elegantly in such a way that flaunted their wealth. The men smoked expensive cigars while their women had their necks decorated in rubies of all shapes and colours. You couldn't lie that you felt a little out of place.

The minute you walked in with Enishi on your arm chatter ceased and all eyes were on you, well mostly the female ones seeking something to gossip about. They started picking apart your hairstyle, your dress, your face. The fact that the man at your side chose you as a plus one instead of one of them. They called him 'too handsome to be real' while fanning their faces and you would have agreed if it wasn't for the intense urge to poke your tongue out at them. But you had to behave like a lady, so you settled for throwing daggers with your eyes their way.

You didn't know why you suddenly felt so protective of the man at your right. The group eventually scurried off, possibly terrified of your facial expressions, and it was weird that the satisfaction you felt was good enough of a reason to justify your actions. Enishi saw the exchange and struggled to keep his laughter in.

"I suggest you to keep your claws hidden tonight."

You turned to face him, eyes narrowing onto his. What was that supposed to mean?

"Are you suggesting I'm jealous or something?"

"Maybe."

"Last time I checked we weren't a couple or anything," you said wrapping your arms around your chest.

He looked around before he pushed you to a wall behind you, hands firmly gripping yours. Playfulness and seriousness were dancing around in his eyes and you couldn't tell which one peered more into your eyes right now. He stood so close to you that you forgot how to breathe. His eyes darted between your own and your lips, leaning closer to your face. Stopping just a few inches off your lips you felt your patience running thin. All you wanted to do was close the distance between you. He closed his eyes and blew a breath that hit your lips.

"Don't fall for me, Miyu," he whispered loud enough for only you to hear.

I think it's a little too late for that.

You had enough of getting teased so you made a move for his lips. Your lips barely brushed his before he pulled away from you, signature smirk on his face.

"We're on enemy territory so keep an eye out."

With that he turned around and walked off, leaving you there nothing short of confused. You released a breath and leaned on the wall for support, the ghost of his touch still lingering on your arms.

He was back to leading you on and you couldn't tell if it was just an act this time or it was what he actually felt for you. He was cold again but this time it seemed different, like he was forcing it. The minute you both stepped out of the house he would turn into this other person that liked taunting you.

You slept together for so many times and it still seemed to be no strings attached for him. But it made you crave more than that. You couldn't deny that your feelings for him were real but you couldn't tell if they were strong enough to push for them when you knew deep down that this back and forth will never be something more than that. And that kinda felt like an arrow was shot straight through your heart.

Every time you kissed him ran through your mind. You wanted to find at least one that you could hang onto that was sincere. But most of them were fuelled by anger and hunger. You never kissed each other with real feelings and you felt like a fool for thinking it could ever be more than back and forth with him.

You shook the thoughts form your head and walked to catch up to him. If it was up to you you would've left after that stunt he pulled. But you were here for your mom first and foremost. These mind games could wait.

Making your way downstairs into the main room where everyone gathered you looked around for him but he was nowhere in sight, figuring you lost him in the big crowd.

Great. What am I supposed to do now?

The band started playing a slow song and you recognised it to be the one of the tunes for the Viennese waltz. A small smile cracked on your lips at the memory of your father teaching it to you. He would place you on his tiptoes and swing you around the living room while your mother sat and clapped for you as your audience. They taught you all kinds of dances to help you fit in easier with the higher status people.

Didn't think the mafia rolled with this much finesse.

The dancefloor cleared as everyone split into pairs and you found yourself alone in the middle. As much as you would have loved to dance you didn't feel like it. You were about to walk off until an arm pulled you back, making you collide with a sturdy chest. The familiar jasmine smell was enough to make you grunt in annoyance as you turned to the man before you. He held your hand as he stepped away to do a curtsy, moving your other hand to sit on his shoulders as he gripped the other one. You tried prying your hands off but the hold he had on you was way too firm. He wouldn't let you go unless he wanted to and he seemed hellbent on doing so.

"Let me go," you gritted out. A few pairs looked at you struggling and you both flashed your fake smiles telling them kindly to fuck off.

"The music already started so let's just do this."

"I don't want to do anything with you."

You looked away from him getting into your position as you started leading him, stepping forward with your left foot. He tried to take the lead away from you but you were better at this than he was, getting your uncoordinated waltz in rhythm with the music. The weight you stepped with from side to side didn't go unnoticed. He could feel the tension coursing through you just from holding your waist.

"Why are you suddenly mad at me?"

"Because.."

Because you almost kissed me. Because the way you touch me makes me want to run for the hills. Because you're a coward and can't admit to your feelings. Because I hate you.

"Because what?"

You separated to do a spin and came back to him. His hands landed a little lighter on your waist this time around.

"I don't know I just am."

The dancing pairs around you faded to a blur as your bodies got closer and you spun together to the music, swaying left and right. The fact that he knew how to dance the waltz amazed you a little. He seemed to have a lot of tricks hidden up his sleeve.

There was no denying he liked the female attention. Even while he danced so close to you you could feel the lonely girls by the side of the dancefloor staring holes through the back of your head. You knew exactly how they felt because you couldn't help but swoon at his charms too. That was until you got too annoyed by his staring.

"Can you stop looking at my boobs?"

"It's not my fault they are up in my face."

"Jesus Christ."

Parting away from each other again, you lifted your palms to sit against each other. Your warm fingertips met his cold ones again as you circled each other. It took every ounce of self control in your being not to intertwine your fingers together. You were mad at how quickly you went from hating to appreciating him.

You went for the final waltz section of the dance and prayed for the music to end faster. He took the lead this time and you followed suit.

He kept his eyes on you the whole time trying to figure out what you were thinking in that little head of yours. The tension between you was suffocating. You were back to the normal push and pull, getting too close to keep his hands off of you, but too far to actually touch you. He didn't want to push you away or play pretend but he didn't know what else to do to keep his urges away. Staying away from you was better than being this close to you and not knowing what to do or say.

Getting too lost in his own thoughts he took a wrong step that made you lose your footing. You thought you were going to kiss the floor if it wasn't for his hands catching you. You were bent backwards with one of your hands fisted in the collar of his blazer. One of his arms wrapped around your torso and the other sat at the back of your neck supporting your head. Maybe it was the thrill of danger from all the eyes looking at you that you felt like you couldn't take your eyes off of his. He seemed so close yet so far, easy but so hard to get through.

The music ended and you stepped away from him thanking all gods for the late but welcome help. You needed a drink if you wanted to get through the night so you headed to the bar leaving him on the dancefloor.

---------------

You were on your fourth vodka cocktail when he joined you at the bar. You cursed your high tolerance to alcohol wishing to be tipsier than you felt so you could deal with him in a way that your conscience wouldn't scold you for.

"You should slow down on those."

"I can do whatever the fuck I want."

He didn't know where this attitude came from. He was a little annoyed by it but he brushed it off to be just one of your mood swings.

"Okay, so, what's holding us back from going in?"

"There's about ten armed guards on every floor."

"If that's a problem I think you're forgetting we took down a whole gang in that casino using our wits and wooden chairs."

"The problem is that once they see us coming they will sound the alarm to everyone else and we will be fucked. There's five mafias present and the last thing I want is a gang war."

"That's what you said last time and the Daos kinda went extinct the minute we got involved."

You had a point. But it was still too dangerous to go in through the front. He studied the map of the place countless times and knew there was a hidden staircase with access to all levels. It was typically the maids who had access to it. He looked around and spotted one at the far corner with a tray of finger foods in her hands.

"I will be right back. Behave yourself."

You would've smacked him if it wasn't for the crowd around you. Following him with your eyes through the sea of people you saw him approach a maid. What was he gonna do with a maid?

Your question was answered when you saw him plaster that playboy smirk on his face, leaning down to whisper in her ear. She giggled at whatever he told her and you gripped your glass tightly. The scene made your jaw clench even if you had no reason to feel like that.

Keep it together. We are not a couple. This is all just for show.

After more flirting, he came back and you threw the last contents in your glass down your throat. He dangled a set of keys in front of you and you looked at him confused.

"The maids have access to a hidden staircase at the back of the mansion. It leads to all levels including the top one where she said the rest of the maids are gathered up."

"Those open the doors to this secret magical staircase?"

"Yes."

Maybe you went a little too far with your sarcasm but it was the only way you could keep yourself from snapping at him. He only shook his head at you and lead the way.

You circled the entire mansion through the garden at the back. Whenever people passed by you, Enishi would hold your hand and smile to make it believable that you looked like a couple and that you weren't doing anything you shouldn't be doing. You played along leaning closer to him and smacking his chest as you laughed. It disgusted you, playing pretend like this when you wanted it to be real.

Once you were out of sight you looked for the staircase. You found it under a deep layer of wild vine and unlocked the doors, locking them after you entered. A few lanterns lined up the wall all the way to the top but it was still too dark to see anything. You went up first, lifting your dress up so you wouldn't step on it. The long ruffles covered the front part and you couldn't see where you were stepping. You got halfway up the stairs and placed your foot wrong on a step, stumbling backwards colliding with Enishi's chest for the second time tonight. One of his hands wrapped securely around your waist while the other gripped the railing.

"You should be more careful," he said breathlessly.

"I am-" you started but were cut off by the sound of guards patrolling at the top of the stairs.

Suddenly, you were pressed against the inner wall of the staircase, his body impossibly close to yours. The proximity made your heartbeat accelerated and you shut your eyes to take a few breaths in. The way his head dipped down to your neck gave you a thrilling sense of deja vu, reminding you of the night you hid in an alley from guards patrolling the city. You couldn't deny the attraction between you back then but you looked for every reason to do it now. Your hand laid on his chest and you could feel his rapid heartbeat under your finger tips. You opened your eyes and tilted your head at him.

If your body says it wants me why does your mind keep pushing me away?

His eyes turned from the top of the staircase to you laying on your lips again. He's gone too long without your taste and it was driving him crazy. All he wanted to do was kiss them sweetly until he drew blood. He thought just one taste would quench his thirst so he leaned down to you again. But this time, you didn't let him play with you.

The coast cleared and you pushed him away, making your way towards the top. You beckoned him over and checked the hallway to see it empty. He huffed and made his way to you.

"You take the ones on the left," he said.

"I'll take the ones on the right," you said at the same time.

You couldn't come to terms with anything and it pushed your buttons greatly. Shaking your head, you moved to the ones on the right without saying anything else. Wasting time you didn't have wasn't on your list right now. You needed to find your mom ASAP unless you wanted to piss off some blood-thirsty mafias by snooping around their palace.

Opening door after door you found either a guest room fixed up by a few maids or a storage space where they put cleaning supplies away. The next one you opened was a bathroom occupied by a couple who appeared to be making out or having a contest on who could eat the other's face off first. You couldn't really tell. They stopped their smooching to look at you startled.

"My bad. Uh... enjoy yourselves. Use protection," you yelled and closed the door leaning on it in embarrassment.

Enishi just closed the last door on his side and you looked at him hopeful only to have your hopes crushed when he shook his head.

"Only young maids on this side. What about you?"

"Loads of maids and I think I just cockblocked a couple."

He started laughing and you clamped a hand on his mouth reminding him no one needed to know you were there. You turned your attention back to the hallway. There was one last door to check on your side and you prayed to all gods she would be in there.

You moved to the door placing a shaky hand on the golden doorknob and you froze. You had no way of knowing if she was going to be behind that door or if something else would wait for you. You hoped you didn't come this far for nothing because if you did it would break you. Conscious of time ticking away, you drew in a shaky breath and tried to push through your hesitation and move your hand to open the door. But you couldn't open it.

Enishi saw you struggling. He knew how badly you wanted her to be inside that room. If she wasn't in there you were going to blame yourself for it even if it wasn't your fault. This was exactly why he didn't want you to come in the first place. He knew if there was nothing behind that door that it would break you. You hung with your teeth onto the little hope that the information you got from that asshole was true and he wished it was too.

He placed his hand on top of yours in reassurance and you looked at him. He was back to being his serious self, the Enishi who promised you he would help you get your parents back no matter what. With a deep breath, you both turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. Your breath got stuck in your throat at the sight before you.

"Miyu?"

No fucking way.

---------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading! As always, likes, comments and reblogs are welcome :)

#Addicting Taste #enishi yukishiro #rurouni kenshin #enishi yukishiro fanfiction #enishi yukishiro x reader #enishi yukishiro x you #running for the hills as we speak

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sevikasleftpussyflap · 2 years

Text

Annoying

This is basically just a drabble of you and Sevika irritating each other. I can't see it going anywhere and I'm tired of it being in my drafts. Do not have high expectations :D

Inspired by my friend who has the best ideas. One being "Sevika taking your food from you by just putting your ass in a headlock"

Warnings: Very fluffy. Shitty ending.

“Hey. Hey.” The bowl tips dangerously against your chest as your knees and arms form a protective barrier around your vulnerable snack.

“Hey yourself.” Those large hands teasingly reached for you and her wicked lips curved into a smirk. “Don’t be greedy. I had a long day. Y’know, working to provide for my girl.”

“This is my snack. Make your own.” Teeth snapped playfully towards her wandering fingers. A sigh followed the retreat of her hands and a plop made you bounce on the cushions. Sevika practically took up the whole couch when she sat down, spreading her legs and making you curl further into the armrest. Before you came along, her apartment was bare of any furniture besides a bed and a nightstand. Most of her time was spent either working or at the brothel.

“So unappreciative.”

“I’m sure you have an endless list of women at Babette’s that’ll give anything to be your dutiful little housewife.”

“I’m sure I do. I don’t know how I got stuck with your dumbass.” The affronted scoff you aimed at her was enough of a distraction for her hand to shoot out, grab an atrocious amount and stuff it in her mouth.

“Hey! Ugh.” An attempt to struggle was not made against the muscular arms that pulled you into her lap, cradled like a baby. Your disgruntled expression was difficult to maintain as you were jostled from the force of her chuckles. Usually you were the one to annoy Sevika, but when she was in a playful mood she was a force to be reckoned with. She didn’t mind using her size to irritate you in any way possible, which was unfortunate for you because she’s so fucking big.

“Hey yourself.” It was difficult to make out her words around her chewing. “I’ll make you more.”

The faux annoyance drained out of you and you squirmed your body close to hers, nuzzling your face into her neck. Sometimes your affection for her was almost unbearable and any distance from her was painful. If you could, you’d crawl inside her skin and nestle against her bones, never to be apart from her. You had told her this once, and she had called you a little psycho but held you tighter after that.

“How was work?” You pop a piece into her mouth.

“Quiet. Had to cut some asshole's fingers off, but other than that, pretty boring.”

“If that’s your definition of ‘quiet’-“ A piece of food shoved it’s way between your lips, nearly choking you. Sevika smirked, her mind definitely not in an innocent place.

“I’m kidding. Hush.”

“Hey, don’t be ashamed of your hobbies. I’m sure there are other big, scary ladies that share the same interests.” Your eyes trailed along the column of her throat as she leaned her head back against the cushions, conveniently hiding the growing smile she didn’t want you to see. It was too late and only encouraged your antics. “Okay. You can stop talking now.”

“Seriously, you should start a club. Call it-”

“I liked it better when you were scared of me.”

“It was more of the apprehension that comes with meeting any stranger.” A bold faced lie. You nearly shit your pants when you first laid eyes on the woman, her ever present scowl prevented you from speaking any coherent sentence around her for the first several interactions.

“Oh, uh-huh. So that’s why it took so long to get a date with you?” Her hand dug purposefully into the wrong pocket of her vest, jostling you more than necessary before she went to the right one and pulled out a cigar.

“Date, wow. If that’s what you call a 48 hour bang-athon.” You widen your eyes and puff up your cheeks with air. “And yes, had to make sure you had good intentions.” Like not coming to collect your soul, grim reaper that she is.

“Never say “bang-athon” again. Gods, you’re embarrassing. And running from me did that? Flighty little shit.”

“I told you, it was speed walking and I thought you were coming to fucking kill me.” An arm wrapped around her neck to stabilize yourself, nearly falling off her lap from how hard she laughed at your expense. “Anyway, win any of those card games you like to abandon me for?”

Her next words lost their usual bite as they were spoken through chortles.

“Yeah, a big one. Finally have enough money to leave your ass.” Flame sparked a few times until the cigar was lit. The first attempts were sabotaged by you blowing the flame away from the freshly cut tip, only stopping to laugh as the meanest looking glare cut to you. “Stop that. Annoying.”

The words came muffled around the cigar which only made you laugh harder, earning you a cloud of smoke blown at your face.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” It was her turn to laugh as you hacked out the words.

#sevika x reader #arcane sevika x reader #sevika imagine #arcane sevika

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humanitys-strongest-bamf · 11 months

Note

hi. im having a really bad day. (cw for mean parents, academics)

my mother’s really mad at me because i’m approaching 30 and still unmarried and still without a master’s degree, and today she basically confirmed im a failure 😖 she knows it’s largely because my mental illness was untreated until this year, not that it matters. 🤣

can i request a quick drabble/scenario for how levi would respond/react to a reader going through this? just a sentence is enough! i’m at wit’s end right now. (turning to fanfic about my comfort character for help. 😭)

feel free to ignore if it’s too much! i get it, just typing this was way too much emotionally for me too. LOL

hi nonnie! i'm so sorry, i got this last night and was too out of it to write this 😭 i hope things at least feel a bit better or less intense today

this is also something i've dealt with—my dad literally just revealed to me the other day that he thinks my life is still a shitshow jkalfsd

notes/cw: mentions of mean parent, academics, self-loathing, levi being sweet and blunt at the same time because it's levi, just sweetness :3 word count: 880

You tried to put on a smile for the sake of your boyfriend, but it felt next to impossible. After all, how could anyone smile after their parent openly called them to chastise them for things beyond their control? It didn't matter that you were struggling with your mental health, it didn't matter that the pieces just didn't line up for you to live that "traditional, prescribed path", all that mattered was that you didn't do it.

You told yourself you didn't care. You told yourself their opinion didn't matter—but part of it still did to you.

You hadn't eaten properly all day. All you've had was a mug of coffee and a piece of a potato chip that you've nibbled on throughout the day to test to see if you could eat. You couldn't. You tried your best to hide this, but you already knew that it was next to impossible to hide anything from Levi. The man was stupidly observant.

"What's going on?" Levi asked as he pulled up a chair next to you.

"Hmm?"

"You've been chewing on that damn potato chip all day and you haven't moved out of that chair in hours."

You glanced down at the chip and then up towards Levi, looking straight into his intense, gray eyes that had a worried look within them.

"Oh, have I?" you asked, genuinely unaware of how long you had been stuck in this position. Your phone was next face down next to you after you had flipped it upside down upon hanging up on a phone call from your mother, in which she had oh-so-kindly decided to provide you a report on her analysis of your life.

Levi glanced over towards your phone and then at your state. He sighed.

"It was your mom again, wasn't it?"

Your eyes slightly widened upon that question.

He knew. Levi always knew. No matter how much effort you put into hiding whatever it was that was bothering you, Levi always seemed to read straight into your soul.

You averted your gaze and nodded.

"Yeah...It was."

"What'd she say this time?"

It took you a while to respond.

"Just...the usual," you mumbled. "How disappointed she is that I haven't really finished school, or how I'm not even married yet, and that I'm-"

You took a shaky breath as you felt your emotions building. You felt like a lump was building in your throat and that your eyes were heating up. You gripped onto your leg in a desperate attempt to keep yourself together, especially in front of Levi.

"That you're what?" Levi asked gently.

"She basically confirmed that I'm a failure," you said, with your voice barely above a whisper as your felt tears building at the corners of your eyes. You opened your mouth to speak again, but Levi was faster.

"Do you seriously believe that?" he asked. The question was harsh, but his voice was gentle and instead of a frown, he only looked at you with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"What-"

"You heard me," he said, never taking his gaze off you as he grabbed your chin so that he was looking into your eyes.

"Do you really believe that?"

"I-I mean, she's right in that-"

"Right about what?" he asked again, challenging you.

"Well, I still don't have my Master's-"

"You had to withdraw because of your mental health condition," he said, before prompting you to go on.

"And I'm still not married-"

"And you really think that it's impossible to be happy or successful without it?"

You didn't respond. You knew he was right.

"Next?" he asked again, confident that he was going to succeed in invalidating everything your mother decided to throw at you.

You fell silent.

"I know you're trying to help, Levi," you whispered, "but I'm sorry if I can't find myself believing that I'm not a-"

You felt your lower lip quivering as the emotions began to boil over.

"-a f-failure," you said quietly, your voice breaking.

Levi wrapped his arms around you, pulling your head against his head.

"You're not a failure," he whispered. "You've been dealt unfair cards, and you've come so far despite it. It's her loss for not recognizing that."

You took comfort in listening to his heart beat as you buried your face into his chest.

"You're not a failure," he repeated. "If you want to finish school, you'll get there. If you don't, that's okay too. Just because you've struggled with your mental health doesn't mean you're deficient."

He pulled away so that he was looking into your eyes before gently flicking your forehead.

"So quit pitying yourself," he said, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he saw the pout that formed on your face. "You're capable of more than you know."

You rubbed at your forehead. Levi pulled you into a gentle kiss shortly after, with one hand gently placed on the side of your face. He lingered there for a few seconds, before resting his forehead on yours.

"Never doubt yourself, love," he whispered.

He gave you another quick kiss before standing up.

"Now, let me whip you up something to eat, so you get some food in you other than coffee and that damned potato chip."

#THIS HITS CLOSE TO HOME #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackermann x reader #levi heichou x reader #captain levi x reader #levi fluff #levi ackerman #levi ackermann #levi heichou #captain levi #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyoujin #snk

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ltghosty · 1 year

Text

Rapacious (Simon "Ghost" Riley ﾒ Female "Cobra" Sergeant)

A/N: After the blow up my previous one-shot, 'Violation', got, I can't thank you guys enough for the love and the feedback I've been getting. Thank you so much. <3

Summary: Ghost finds out that you've been sleeping with Roach just when he started to have feelings for you and confronts you

Warnings: strong language, angst

Wordcount: 8.3k (holy moly, somebody stop me, this is getting out of hand)

(Also I've been playing with the thought of writing Alejandro one-shots because that Vaquero is all over my feed again, not that I'm complaining tho)

Happy name day to me :)

”Well, someone has to be hurting at the end of the day, right?” Ghost tried to pull it off as a joke but his eyes betrayed him.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson was the only one who could get really close to you without having his head blown off. Which was an ironic thing compared to the first time you had met him two years ago. He and Ghost were the least sympathetic members of Task Force 141.

Ghost was cold and distant, barely acknowledging your existence. It didn’t take you a lot of time to put the pieces together that stood behind his actions. He was the type of person who’d rather push everyone away than build an honest relationship with anyone.

Not that you couldn’t understand his way of thinking. You were living a dangerous life where any mission could be your last one. It was both thrilling and scary. One minute you might have the upper hand with a smile on your face and then everything would fall apart if you were too late.

A lonely bullet penetrating to a certain part of your body that would drag you through hell before tearing your soul away from your body…

Not being careful enough and practically running into your death without the slightest suspicion in your head. You could be fine, then in the next second, pieces of your body – meat, blood, bones – would go out of curl on the ceiling and blemish the ground.

You always wondered how would you go out someday. Not that you desired to die, more the opposite, actually. But sometimes you couldn’t help but wonder what fate life was about to give you maybe tomorrow, a week from now, or when you would be fifty years old.

Roach wasn’t interested in his possible endgame. If there was someone who wasn’t afraid to use his head and voice at the same time, it was him. Roach was smart and an excellent fighter. He’d spend hours to days working out, pushing his own limits until he was barely able to stand on his own.

You wondered if his past has got to do anything with his compulsion to conform. Roach’s personality was raw and honest. Sometimes it caused an unpleasant conflict between the Brit and you because you weren’t used to talking to someone who was that complex and straight with everyone.

When he first met you, he told you that if he’d ever met you outside the base, not wearing the uniform but normal clothes, he’d have never guessed that behind the beautiful eyes and kind smile a determined and deadly soldier was hiding in plain sight.

You couldn’t explain why but you felt embarrassed by Roach’s statement which wasn’t an insult but still felt like one to you. You could spend hours overthinking and analyzing what Roach had told you and it would only spice you up even more.

From that point, you were working extra hard on missions to show him what kind of soldier you really were. Needless to say, Roach was impressed by your tactics each time you showed him something new. And that made you proud of yourself.

It was puzzling how annoying Roach could be but you knew he’d take a bullet for you without hesitation.

Before you realized it, you two were always around each other. After a lonely night that ended in cuddles, once you’d told him about your nightmare, you grew to like him.

The only time you weren’t that comfortable around him was if anyone could see you two being close to each other. Even if it was only an innocent hug or an arm over your shoulders.

Especially around Ghost.

He didn’t need to open his mouth to startle you. He was muscular and his eyes always pierced through your soul. It made you feel like he knew something you always wanted to keep hidden.

It was fascinating how much power Ghost was able to hold. Compared to you, he was a tower and he could slam you to the ground with one fast move.

You saw Ghost and Roach train once at the gym back at the base while Soap taught you a few new moves.

You had to stop in your movements when you saw Roach’s face. You’d never seen him fight with his fists, he usually fought his wars with guns and bombs on the field. He looked completely different once he’d grown serious and stepped into the ring. He was shorter than Ghost but that didn’t make him back down.

That was when you knew things would get serious. Roach could be surprisingly fast and violent.

After long minutes of struggles, grunts, punches, and dodging, it looked like Roach had the upper hand but with one shift movement, Ghost tore Roach’s hand behind, grabbed his waist, and threw him to the ground.

You were so horrified by the weight of their punches that Soap had to reassure you about Roach’s well-being. ”They always train like that.”

After swallowing your worry, you couldn’t help but tease Roach about his defeat.

”It’s your fault that I lost,” Roach said with sparkling eyes. You couldn’t help but stare at his sweaty appearance.

The way his hair was wet but messy and his shirt tightened around his athletic torso. It was a sight you wished to see more often.

”Why?” You asked with a smile.

”Because he doesn’t want to admit that Lt. kicked his ass, so he tries to blame it on someone else,” Soap joined you two as he wiped his sweat down with a towel.

Roach’s eyes narrowed and he hit Soap’s stomach, earning a grunt from the Scot.

”Can’t help but stare at Cobra’s beauty whenever I can.”

You raised an eyebrow at his compliment, trying to brush your blush off.

”Even during training?”

Roach sighed and looked down at you. He found it extremely attractive when you wore leggings and a short-sleeved top that left your stomach uncovered.

”Especially during training,” Roach winked at you and butterflies started to awaken in your stomach.

Ghost however wasn’t keen on listening to Roach flirting with you. Not only because it wasn’t his business but also because his chest tightened at the thought of you liking Roach’s compliments.

He dragged his hand across his shoulders as he made his way toward the changing rooms, however, it was impossible for him to ignore you three since you were standing in the way.

”You are a sight for sore eyes, after all, Cobra.” Roach joked and you huffed then shook your head.

”Am I now?”

Roach tilted his head to the side, his wet hair falling into his eyes that never left you.

”You always were.”

You felt blood rush into your face as you bit into your lower lip. You didn’t handle compliments really well but you didn’t want Roach to think you weren’t grateful for his kind words.

It’s been a long time since you got a compliment. And it was usually from some random guy at a pub where you’d always go to chase your loneliness away after departing.

It was different to hear those words coming from someone whom you have known for years.

”Stop terrorizing her, Roach.” Ghost’s raspy voice caught your attention as he approached you.

Roach gave him a side look, ”It’s not terrorizing if she likes it.”

Ghost narrowed his eyes before they landed on you. You almost believed he needed an approvement of you that Roach was right which didn’t sit well with you at all.

You liked the attention Roach was giving you but you didn’t want to admit that to either Ghost or Soap.

You didn’t want to build a conflict between them. It almost seemed like Roach and Ghost had been friends for all of their lives.

”Don’t be so sure about that,” Ghost murmured and Roach crossed his arms.

”I’m pretty sure she would have kicked my ass already if she despised me.”

You started to pick on your fingernails the more nervous you became. Soap gave you a questioning look but all you did was shrug. You tried to ignore the tension that has cut through the air like a knife.

You dragged your eyes across the men standing around you like guardians, suddenly feeling small and exposed. You didn’t know what to say anymore.

That was when you noticed the blood that was drooling down on Ghost’s arm.

”Ghost, your arm.” Your eyes widened and everyone looked at the tall man examining his injury. Was Roach this hard on him during the fight?

When Ghost glanced down at you for a brief moment and saw the terror in your eyes, he only sniffed as if it was nothing.

”That’s not new, must have scratched it open.” Ghost said flatly and you sighed.

”I’m sorry, Ghost.” Roach flinched at the ripped scar, guilt filling his eyes.

Ghost took a deep breath and patted Roach’s back with his left hand, ”Don’t be sorry, Gary. I’d be angry if you would have gone too easy on me because of my scar.”

Roach gave him a short nod but he couldn’t hide the guilt that was darkening his eyes.

Ghost shook it off as if it was nothing and bumped his fist into Roach’s shoulder as he walked around you and left the gym.

”How bad do you think it is?” You asked as your eyes followed Ghost’s figure until it disappeared around the corner.

”You know Ghost,” Soap said. ”If his arm was torn off he’d still say he’s fine. I’m sure he’ll be all right.”

You almost smiled at the comedic relief Soap had given you. However, you couldn’t help but worry if he’d get an infection.

”I’ll go check on him, just to be sure,” you let them know and followed Ghost.

The changing room was empty and silent. You almost thought he wasn’t here anymore but suddenly, you heard a bit back grunt that you already were familiar with. Walking around the lockers, you saw Ghost sitting on a bench, wiping his blood off with a cloth that’s already turned crimson, losing its original color.

Of course, he heard your footsteps. That man could almost hear everything even during an explosion. His ears were as sharp as a bat’s.

He looked up and when he saw you, you could see the surprise that took over his eyes before he pushed his feelings away.

”Are you okay?” You asked, your voice small.

Ghost’s heart leaped at the vulnerability in your tone. He wouldn’t have thought that you’d ever be worried for him. Hence, you barely acknowledged his presence not only on the missions but also here at the base. He’d always thought that you hated him by the cold looks you were giving him.

And now here you were, leaving your audience behind, worried for him.

”I’ll live,” he cleared his throat.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek before letting out a shaky breath. Even when taking care of himself, you still found him intimidating.

”Mind if I take a look?”

He looked up at you in suspicion. ”Didn’t know you were a medic.”

You clicked your tongue as you shrugged. ”I always took care of my bruised knee when I was seven, so that should tell you something about my medical knowledge.”

Ghost scoffed to hide the laughter that tried to escape from him. He often found himself trying to be softer when you were around and he didn’t like how complicated you made him. He didn’t know how to act around the thoughts you awakened in him.

He guided you toward him and you swallowed before closing the distance between you two.

His eyes were glued to you the entire time as you took the last step and slowly knelt down in front of him. His closeness burnt your face like a burning iron and suddenly you were paralyzed.

If you weren’t afraid of him then why were you this nervous around him? Especially when you were alone with him?

You always tried to get away from situations where you’d be paired up with him because you didn’t want to disappoint him. There was a reason he has been a lieutenant for many years now and that also meant he was extremely trained and experienced.

Focusing on the blood that was trailing down his arm, you reached out and took it into your hands.

Meanwhile, Ghost couldn’t help but wonder how smart your hands were compared to his. It was almost like two different worlds were crossing each other’s borders. Your touch was soft which was something he hadn’t felt in years.

Even on your knees, Ghost was still hovering over you as you wiped the blood down to get a better look at on his opened scar. It didn’t look too bad but you didn’t want to believe he wasn’t in pain.

”Well, you won’t die, that’s for sure,” you said, breaking the silence.

Ghost almost smiled at your statement, ”You would be one hell of a doctor, Cobra.”

You looked up at him, feeling your cheeks warm up as his eyes bore into you.

”Chose the wrong career, I see.” You played along as you grabbed the bandage he already placed down next to him.

Starting to bandage his veiny arm, you still felt his gaze grazing over you.

”You ever thought of getting a normal job?”

You shrugged, ”Normal as in not killing other people and getting intel by torturing others?”

Ghost nodded.

”I wouldn’t want anything else,” you admitted. ”Without being in special forces, I might have ended up killing my neighbor a long time ago.”

Ghost was surprised to hear your dark humor crawling the surface.

”Are they that annoying?”

”And he hates women.”

”You are allowed to neutralize him then,” Ghost answered and you smiled.

The silence that fell on you two was no longer tense or sharp, it was comfortable and peaceful which was something you never experienced with Ghost before.

”You are a good sergeant, Cobra.” Ghost said, his voice quiet.

His words surprised you. You stole a glance from him, expecting to see smugness in his eyes to let you know that he was only joking but you found none of it.

Instead, you were faced with comfort.

”I’m everything but good, Lieutenant.” You said firmly and dropped your gaze. Only if he knew how much his words meant to you. You never found yourself good enough your entire life and hearing your lieutenant say this opened your heart in a way you would have never thought was possible.

”Why would you say that?”

You licked your lips, avoiding his eyes.

”Because I make mistakes quite often.”

”Like all of us.” Ghost replied.

You softly shook your head. ”Everyone but you.”

Ghost remained in silence as your words sunk in. You might have been right but you also didn’t know the amount of work and pain that made him want to be this excellent at his job. He learned the hard way how mistakes could affect someone’s life and all he wanted to do was never letting himself down ever again.

”Mistakes will help you learn.” Ghost said. ”I’ve seen what you can do, don’t you even think to underestimate yourself.”

”Yes, sir.” you nodded and Ghost’s chest warmed up a little.

He studied your peaceful face for a moment wondering if you were always this beautiful. He found himself daydreaming about how good it would feel to lay next to you and let your head rest on his heart. The heart that hasn’t been this alive for a long time.

His own thoughts were startling him because it’s been years since he had craved someone’s closeness this much. There was a time when you got shot during a mission and his heart was about to rip his chest into two, he didn’t know how much you had grown on him until he almost lost you. His thoughts were more than desperate when he helped you to exfil, little did you know that he wasn’t only reassuring you that he’d get you to safety but also himself.

And the worst thing was that he somehow, after all this time, caused you to always put distance between the two of you which saddened him each time he saw you turn away from him.

”What is it with Roach nowadays?” Ghost asked and you blinked.

”What do you mean?”

Ghost tried to ignore the solid pain in his chest as he remembered how flirtatious Roach has become around you. He also wished he could give voice to his thoughts as much as Roach could, maybe then you wouldn’t try to run away from him.

”He follows you everywhere like a fucking puppy,” he explained and you let yourself smile a little. ”And he doesn’t seem to be able to shut up anytime soon.”

”We got to know each other a little better lately,” you said, focusing on the bandage.

Ghost’s shoulders tensed as your words played over and over in his head like an alarm.

”Are you two together or something?” he asked, hoping your answer would be no. He wouldn’t know what to do or how to react if he’d find out that you’d been with his best friend all along.

You jerked up, your hands freezing around Ghost’s arm. When you looked up at him and saw how intense his eyes were while waiting for your answer. You knew any kind of relationship would have consequences within the team.

You shouldn’t tell him that you once imagined how your life would change if there was something more between you and Roach. You didn’t need to hear the speech that had been burnt into your brain on day one when you joined Task Force 141.

”No, of course not,” your eyes bored into his as you tried to sound confident.

Something flashed through Ghost’s eyes like a rumble of thunder but disappeared quickly.

Finishing his bandage, you tightened your fingers around his arm, just to make sure it was in its place. Putting the rest of it away, you stood up and were ready to leave.

”Just change it before you go to sleep,” you said. ”If you need help, you know where I’ll be.”

As you stood up, getting the higher ground physically, Ghost’s good arm reached out and grabbed your wrist before you could step away from him.

The breath caught in your throat as you felt his fingers caging your wrist. You thought you angered him with something but when you gave him a questioning look, he only looked back at you with softness.

”Thank you, Cobra.” His words shook you to the core and your mouth went dry. You didn’t know why but his words had more effect on you than they should have. And you didn’t know what to do with that realization.

”It’s nothing.” You shrugged and pulled your hand out of his grasp. You didn’t dare look at him again, so you quickly turned on your wheel and walked out like a teenage girl who did something embarrassing and wanted to get away from the attention she was getting.

----

Only Ghost didn’t find you in your room later that night.

He had some struggles, trying to change his bandage, mostly because his left hand automatically stopped once pain shocked through his right lower arm and he knew he needed another hand.

He was confused because he specifically remembered that you told him you would help him change his bandage. He knew that you never left your room past nine p.m., he usually took long walks during the night once he had woken up and he had never seen you outside of your room this late.

Your absence was alerting Ghost and at first, he thought that something was wrong. When he walked down the hallway, he met Gaz who was just about to head to the showers, and asked him if he saw you.

Gaz told him that you were out with Soap and Roach which made Ghost sad, just a little bit. He didn’t want to disturb your fun time, so he headed back to his room and closed himself away from the others.

What he didn’t know was that you never returned to your room. You went to Roach’s room which was on the other side of the building. Roach made you sure that he’d be there for you if you’d have another nightmare which was more than enough for you to agree and follow him to his room.

Spending the night with a handsome man who also knew his way around women? Who would say no to that?

For a brief moment, Ghost’s intense eyes crossed your mind as you were walking next to Roach, almost stopping you in your tracks.

You couldn’t tell anyone about your little visit because you might be transferred to another unit which was the last thing you wanted to happen.

Roach didn’t waste any time undressing you after closing his door and you were more than happy to return the favor. You couldn’t keep your hands off him the entire night, especially when your bodies melted into one, breathing each other’s names in the air.

Roach was surprisingly good at sex. He knew how to please a woman and he never once missed a chance to prove that to you during that night.

His lips left invisible marks and his hands were careful but confident on you. Especially after admitting to the fact that he has been dreaming of this moment for months now.

You were in euphoria after a few hours, you also were exhausted but wanted to keep going, enjoying the way Roach has made you feel both with his body and his words.

It was only a one-time thing. At least, you made a promise to yourself about that. You were already trading on thin ice when you went to his room since anyone could have seen you. You even were disappointed in yourself that you put your job on the line.

Until Roach made you change your mind. And remembering how incredible he was in bed made you miss the way his hands felt on you.

Soon, it became more than a one-time thing. You weren’t in a relationship and Roach let you know that he’d never try to convince you to start one with him and in the end, both of you had agreed to sleep with each other from time to time.

At first, it was hard to keep as a secret, especially during missions when Roach would stare at you shamelessly and would wink at you or touch you when no one saw it. But now that it’s been about a month, you became quite the expert at keeping it a secret.

Ghost seemed to be more open and trusting with you since you followed him to the changing room and helped him change his bandage which made you feel less stressed in his presence. He definitely didn’t forget how you opened up to him and admitted to your doubts.

The more he’d say reassuring or encouraging things to you, the less you’d tried to avoid him. And now, you didn’t even have a problem with being paired up with him once in a while.

He’d always make sure that you were behind him and would teach you guerrilla tactics while cleaning the houses and engaging with terrorists.

You liked how Ghost seemed to let his guard down around you. It meant a lot to you that he trusted you more each day. You liked it so much that you started to wonder why were you always avoiding his presence in the first place. Maybe because he was the lieutenant and he could kill anyone with one move.

Yes, that part was pretty scary, you had to admit that to yourself.

Once your time was up and there were only days that isolated you from going home for a while, you didn’t go to Roach’s room that much. At first, it was weird but when you reminded yourself that anyone could see you because the others had too much time on their hands getting their things packed, you knew it was the right thing to do.

However, you were happy to join the others when they decided to go out to Soap’s favorite bar. You didn’t wear anything special other than jeans and a hoodie but Roach’s eyes still found you every once in a while.

While tracing your fingers over the edge of your glass, you focused on Soap who was telling stories about the old times before you joined the team.

”And then the next second I was bleeding out on the streets of Las Almas while Lt. had already occupied the church and kept himself warm,” Soap said and you giggled. ”He was probably laughing at my misery the whole time.”

”So, he just left you like that?” you asked with amusement.

Soap nodded and gave Ghost a side glance who was sitting next to him, still as a rock. ”He really meant it when he said he is used to working alone.”

Ghost blinked before grunting in his seat. You watched in silence as his mask moved a little with the change of his expression. ”One dead man is better than two.”

You almost laughed but when Ghost’s eyes landed on you, you tried to hide it with a cough and took a sip from your drink.

”You are heartless, Ghost.” You said with a smile and Ghost studied your face for a moment.

”I’d argue with that.”

The way he searched for your eyes made you feel exposed and touched at the same time. If there was anything you were sure about, it was the fact that Ghost was everything but heartless… Especially with you lately.

You wondered if you’d get injured and were forced to flee, would he do the same as he did to Soap back then in Las Almas? Running away and not even looking back?

For some reason, you couldn’t imagine Ghost leaving you behind.

It wouldn’t fit with the image you have built up about him over the past few weeks. The amount of time he spent making you feel involved and teaching you new useful things proved otherwise.

Perhaps, you might have grown on him a little bit.

”Simon might have grown a heart this time,” Roach grinned and downed his drink.

Ghost didn’t like the fact that his people were teasing him about his feelings but if he would have denied it then he would have made you feel like you meant nothing to him.

Simon didn’t want to admit to the fact but deep down he knew that you meant more to him than he would have expected it. The first time he met you, he thought of you like another sergeant.

But you weren’t just a sergeant anymore.

He didn’t know how to explain it but he slowly got attached to you and he didn’t know how to act on those feelings. That was why he decided to teach you new things so that he could spend more time with you and would get to know you better.

Little did you know that he remembered every little thing you mentioned to him. You might have thought that he didn’t even hear you complaining about the scope cracking on your machine gun, but he made sure you could aim perfectly, handing you the other gun that he didn’t use.

”And get this, Cobra…” Soap spoke again, pulling Ghost out of his thoughts. ”He tried to distract me and keep me alive by telling me jokes.”

You couldn’t hold your laughter back this time. And Ghost liked the sound of your genuine, happy laughter, it didn’t even bother him that you were laughing at him.

”You know jokes, Ghost?” you asked, still smiling.

He stared at your beautiful smile before his eyes found yours. ”Some. I bet you wouldn’t find them funny, army humor is a little bit dark.”

”Try me.” You rested your head on your palm, your eyes fixing on him.

Ghost found himself fidgeting under the table as you were staring at him. He would have preferred to have your undivided attention in private.

”All right…” he shifted in his seat, his gaze meeting the table. ”Why did the man miss the funeral?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, not finding the right answer to his question.

”I don’t know. Why?”

”Because he wasn’t a mourning person.”

You let out a forced breath and you traced your fingers over your cheeks.

”That’s bad.” Roach said but with a smile.

Ghost looked at Roach and narrowed his eyes. ”Yes? Do you know where you’ll go after getting lost in a minefield, Sanderson?”

Roach pressed his lips together, a frown taking over his face, ”Tell me.”

”Everywhere.”

You laughed as Roach’s expression dropped while Ghost kept his eyes on him. Roach leaned back and gave you a questioning look.

”You think this is funny?”

”I think it’s hilarious.” You said, still smiling.

Ghost almost smiled at you praising his joke about Roach. Maybe he wasn’t such a stoic person after all.

”I thought we were best friends and now you’re laughing at my death?” Roach asked and touched his chest.

”I’d miss you a little.” You answered.

Roach tilted his head to the side. ”I thought I was important to you after everything that happened. I guess I was wrong.”

”Of course, you are.” You reassured him and leaned your head on his shoulders. ”But you still annoy the hell out of me.”

Soap and Gaz shared a brief laugh at your answer while Ghost tensed in his seat.

If it was anyone else, they wouldn’t have noticed the way Roach glanced down at you as you were this close to him. They wouldn’t have thought that Roach’s after everything might have had a double meaning.

And they definitely wouldn’t have noticed the dog tags falling forward what hung on your neck after you shifted.

He might have been paranoid, people with feelings could get paranoid and he might have overthought that.

Only, they weren't your dog tags.

They were Gary’s.

Ghost needed to look twice at the name carved into the metals before he felt the blood turn into ice in his veins. His stomach turned at the physical closeness you two were having at the table, not even daring to think about what else has happened between you two.

When you turned forward and were faced with Ghost’s cold eyes, you felt your heart skip a beat. You had never seen this storm raging in Simon’s eyes and you wished you could disappear into nothingness.

His eyes landed on the dog tags again and when you looked down, you realized that he knew. He didn’t need to see you two sneaking around at night or to hear you and Roach flirting with each other.

But he knew.

And you felt guilt starting to eat your heart at the disappointed look he was giving you.

You didn’t know why but sadness lightened its way through his eyes, causing you to drop your shoulders.

”And guess what…”

Whatever Soap was about to say was interrupted by Ghost’s sudden movement as he pushed himself away from the table and stormed out of the place without a word.

You felt your heart in your throat and could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you watched him walk out of the bar.

”What happened?” Gaz asked, thinking he missed something despite sitting with you and paying attention.

Soap glanced around and shrugged.

You weren’t so sure about his sudden leave either but you had a feeling that it got to do something with you, even though you hoped that wasn’t the case.

”I’ll be right back.”

Roach gave you a questioning look but didn’t stop you from following Ghost. Trying to fight your nerves and ignore the way your stomach kept doing loops, you stepped out into the chilly evening.

You crossed your arms over your chest as the cold hit you like a truck.

Ghost was not that far from you, it seemed like he was immune to the cold. Or at least that was what you guessed by taking his sight in.

His balaclava was rolled up so that he could place a cigarette between his lips. You watched him in silence as he lit his cigarette and placed the lighter into his back pocket.

”I thought you didn’t smoke.” You spoke quietly as he breathed the smoke out.

He didn’t turn around but took note of your presence. When he decided not to face you, that’s when you knew that something was off.

”You thought wrong.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and glanced around the empty parking lot.

”That thing can kill you,” you continued as he fixed his gaze in the distance.

”Either this or a bullet, we’ll die from something eventually,” he remarked, his voice sharp.

His words took over your thoughts, forcing yours into a corner at the back of your mind. It always amazed you how much his voice could get your attention, didn’t matter how much you tried to ignore it.

”What’s going on, Ghost?” You asked, trying to fight the cold that was slowly tearing at your skin. You should have grabbed your jacket.

It took him forever to finally answer, ”Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

You knew he was lying but you didn’t know if it was a good idea to call him out and let him know that you saw through his attempt.

”Figured,” you murmured, turning away.

Ghost finally gave in to his temptation and his eyes found you when you were staring at the cars around you. He took your small figure in, wondering how a fragile woman like you could end up being an excellent sergeant.

The more he would be worried for you on missions, the more he’d panic about whether it was a good idea for him to let himself have feelings for you. And he didn’t like losing control over his emotions.

He didn’t want to like you at all but you somehow broke through the walls he had built around himself and then suddenly, you were already inside his head, consuming his thoughts and dignity.

Just when he decided to fight against you, he was about to let you into his heart willingly.

And that was when his world crashed.

”Figured what?” Ghost asked.

You sniffed, still avoiding his gaze even though it burnt your skin like fire.

”That you’d do that. Shut down, again.” You couldn’t help but feel anger fill your voice and he noticed that too.

Here you were, trying to be there for him and ask if you were the reason for his disappointment but he didn’t want to talk with you.

”If you paid attention, Cobra, that’s not a fucking surprising thing from me,” he snapped and lifted the cigarette to his lips.

”I thought we were past this,” you said with a head shake. ”And now we are back to square one.”

He glared at you, ”Tell me about it. You can’t even look at me.”

His words pushed through you like a tsunami and almost washed your anger away, leaving nothing but doubts and questions behind.

Did he know how much you tried to avoid him in the beginning? That’s what he meant by that?

”What do you want from me?” You asked, meeting his eyes. ”I came here to see if you were okay and now you have the nerve to play the victim card and turn it all back on me?”

Ghost weighed your words as you shivered after the wind touched your exposed skin. He looked down at your shaking figure, noticing how much you tried to ignore the cold even though it cut through your flesh, until your bones.

Putting the cigarette between his lips, he unzipped his jacket and stepped closer to you.

When you realized what he was about to do, you pressed your lips together and stepped back, earning a questioning look from him.

”Don’t.” You gritted your teeth as you felt your hands turn ice cold, your fingers desperately pressing into your arms.

Soon, his eyes grew almost sad as you refused his jacket. He couldn’t stand the thought of you being cold and not wanting to accept his help.

How did we get here?

”Cobra.”

To your surprise his voice wasn’t angry or demanding as you had expected it to be, your callsign falling off his lips was more of a silent plea just above the wind and it tightened your heart.

You dropped your gaze to the ground, trying to collect your thoughts as he stepped in front of you and placed his jacket around your shoulders.

You couldn’t help but move your arms through the sleeves and Ghost carefully zipped it up so that you’d be protected from the cold.

His jacket was much bigger than you, as you expected it but as long as it kept you warm, you didn’t care how ridiculous you must have looked in Ghost’s oversized clothing. As Ghost’s scent filled your nose, you tried to shake it off how much you liked to wear his jacket.

Ghost, on the other hand, admired the view you were giving him by wearing his jacket. Yes, your arms basically disappeared in the sleeves and the jacket reached the middle of your thighs but he found it cute how small you were compared to his massive figure.

He almost started to wonder how adorable it would look if you would compare your hands to each other’s. Not even mentioning holding your hand while…

He quickly shook his pathetic thoughts out of his head as he reminded himself of the discovery he has just made. It didn’t matter how much he’d try to calm himself, the thought of you being with Roach caused pain throbbing through his heart.

He would take physical pain any time over the pain you just gave him without a single touch.

And you had no idea how much power you were able to hold over his head with a simple smile.

Just when everything was about to fall back to its place, you pulled a card he never would have thought was in your hands.

”What is it with you and Roach?” He suddenly asked, still standing in front of you.

You felt your eyes widen for a second as you looked up at him. The way his eyes held your stare like a cage made you realize that things might have been more complicated than you ever would have imagined them to be.

”Nothing.” You tried to brush off your nervousness but Ghost wasn’t buying it.

In fact, he looked disappointed that you weren’t honest with him.

After all this time, he was always honest and open with you, even vulnerable but when you couldn’t return the favor, it hurt his feelings. More than he wanted to admit.

Finishing his cigarette, he simply shook his head and threw it to the ground.

”Who’s shutting down now?” He asked and stepped on the smoking butt.

Your throat was dry as if you’d been in the desert for days now as Ghost’s presence kept you at bay.

”I don’t think it’s any of your business,” you said quietly, suddenly not finding any courage to continue this confrontation.

You shouldn’t have come here.

”If you are fucking my best friend then I think it’s pretty much my fucking business, Cobra.” Ghost answered coldly and you almost flinched at the aggression hiding in his voice like a shadow.

”It’s nothing serious, don’t be dramatic,” you held your ground and he tilted his head to the side, pulling his balaclava down on his jaw.

”You are wearing his fucking dog tags.” Ghost remarked and you froze in your place. ”And you call that nothing?”

You didn’t want to admit anything but the more Ghost brought things you buried away to the surface, the more you felt that you had no choice but to play his game.

”I don’t think I ask for too much when I tell you I want you to be completely honest with me,” Ghost continued, his voice quiet this time, after realizing how much his anger startled you.

He was right. The least thing you could do after everything was be honest with him. This conversation wouldn’t have a happy ending either way, so why try and make it worse by lying and denying things that were as obvious as undeniable intels?

”We get together sometimes,” you admitted, tearing your gaze away from him.

And with that sentence, you broke Ghost’s heart and you didn’t even notice it.

”Are you with him?” His voice was defeated.

The thought of losing you without even having you first hung above his head like the day of doom.

Licking your lips and tapping your foot against the ground, you tried your best to fight the urge of running back inside.

”No.”

He let out a deep breath and stepped closer to you, making it impossible for you to look anywhere else but at him.

”Cobra.”

You looked up at him firmly, ”I said no. It’s just a fling without emotions. Nothing serious. It doesn’t affect Roach’s partnership with me if that’s what you’re worried about.”

”That’s the last thing I’m worried about,” he admitted and stepped back.

You watched him as he backed away to the closest car behind him and sat down on the hood. His eyes studied the bar and the flickering lights while you stood still in your place.

You thought of Roach as a good friend but that had nothing to do with anything. How could you be intimate with someone who wasn’t close to you emotionally anyway?

You, personally, couldn’t sleep with someone who was a complete stranger to you or had no respect for you.

”Then what’s the matter?”

Ghost put his hand on his thigh as he distanced himself from you. Seeing the storm in his eyes, you tried to pull yourself together.

”I was about to take you to England with me.” Ghost’s eyes fell on you like clouds. ”I remember you mentioned once that you always wanted to go there.”

You felt the color drain from your face as his words floated around you in the air like a hurricane. And Ghost didn’t miss an inch that shifted in your face.

You remembered how once, while you were in the helicopter, you were talking with Soap about the furthest place you both had been away from your home.

You didn’t even know that Ghost heard you admitting to the fact that you always wanted to visit England ever since you were a kid.

And that was when you realized the real reason why Ghost stormed out of the bar all of a sudden. Between him being more open with you and now letting you know that he was ready to take you with him, showing you his home, you didn’t know how you missed the signs he was giving you and also the way he grew tense whenever Roach was around you.

Everything made sense now.

The glares to Roach. The softness in his voice whenever it was just the two of you. How protective he was over you when you were paired up with him…

Everything.

You were enjoying Roach’s physical attention so much that you missed the way Ghost’s attitude and body language changed around you.

How could you be so blind? You almost slapped yourself with the absurdity of yours.

”I…I didn’t know…” your voice silenced and Ghost sighed.

”It doesn’t matter.”

The guilt once again found its way through your veins like venom hearing the sadness in Ghost’s voice.

You hated to be the reason for his sadness.

”I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, Simon.” You admitted shamefully because it was true.

Ghost felt melancholic at you calling him his real name. It’s been so long, he started to wonder if you forgot his real name. Over the last month, you always called him Ghost and it disappointed him every time.

It felt ironic how he always thought that he wouldn’t be capable of caring for someone other than himself. Then Roach and Soap came and treated him like another human being which made him puzzled at first. Then he let himself be Simon again.

Then you came and you took over his heart which he didn’t mind at all.

He wanted to reassure you that you could never hurt his feelings, not even if you tried but that would have been a lie.

And Simon Riley despised lies.

”Well, someone has to be hurting at the end of the day, right?” Ghost tried to pull it off as a joke but his eyes betrayed him.

You bit into your lower lip and made your way over to him. He watched you in silence as you stopped between his spread legs, not caring about the closeness of your bodies.

God, how much he’d been dreaming about the moment when you’d willingly come close to him and give yourself to him. He has been alone for so long that he was almost desperate for you.

But this wasn’t a fairy tale and happy endings didn’t exist in your world.

You didn’t know what to say, so you leaned closer to him, your heart dropping.

When Ghost breathed your name, your real name, into the air between you, you felt shivers run down your spine. And not from the cold this time.

That was when you realized that whatever you had going on with Roach could ever only be a temporary thing because he didn’t look at you the way Simon was.

Yes, Gary found you attractive and couldn’t stop flirting with you but his stare was always full of lust and not something more meaningful.

While Gary was about to shake your world with his touch, Simon was ready to make you feel loved with everything he had in him.

That was the difference between someone who was shown love and someone who only got a glimpse of it his entire life.

Keeping his stare like your life depended on it, you carefully rolled his balaclava up until his lips were uncovered.

Ghost held his breath back as you closed the distance and placed a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. It was a silent way of making up for the pain you caused him unintentionally.

Something changed in you as you felt his skin on yours, his stubble scratching your mouth.

Ghost’s skin was burning where your lips touched him, and all of his worries washed away in a second.

”Don’t play with me, Cobra.” Ghost’s voice shook you like an unstoppable storm.

”I was never good at games, Lt.” You admitted and were about to step back but his hands were fast to grab your waist and pull you back to him.

Your face was burning as he shamelessly roamed his eyes over you, his pupils getting bigger like a cat that’s found its new favorite toy.

”Is that so?” Ghost hummed and raised his hand to wipe your hair out of your face.

When his fingertips brushed over your temple, you swallowed hard.

”Do you have any idea how much you played me all this time?” Ghost’s eyes were both sad but playful at the same time.

You pressed your lips together as he kept you close to him. It made you feel like he wanted to know you close to him not only by words but also physically.

”I didn’t mean to.”

Ghost’s gaze softened as he caressed his fingers on your arms.

”Do you have feelings for him?” He didn’t need to say Gary’s name out loud. It floated between you like the wind.

”Why are you asking?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

He gave you an exhausted look, ”I know how the ’we’ll only sleep with each other without the feelings’ shit works. I might be older than you but I’m not stupid, Cobra.”

You sighed and dropped your gaze to his chest, suddenly having the urge to hide your face there.

You started to wonder if he himself had had something going on with someone that eventually turned into more. Fighting your jealousy, you lingered your gaze where his heart must have been.

Ghost’s hand found your jaw and carefully lifted it, his eyes curious but also calm, waiting for you to return his gaze.

”Don’t lie to me. I’ve had enough of that shit.” He asked softly.

”I don’t want a relationship with him if that’s what you’re asking.” You said firmly. It was true but deep down you were slightly afraid that Roach might have had a change of heart on this road he took you down on.

You hoped he didn’t. You didn’t want to hurt him either.

”Had he ever taken you to England?”

This question broke the ice and you let out a bright laugh which was music to Ghost’s ears.

”No.”

”Is he planning to?”

You tried to wipe the smile off your face but you didn’t succeed. Not that Simon minded that. More like the opposite.

”I don’t know,” you teased him and he took a sharp breath in.

”He better not or I’ll kill him in his sleep.”

Your eyes widened and you pushed at his shoulders but they didn’t move an inch.

”You’ve really got some dark humor, Lt.”

”Does that disturb you?”

You let yourself sink into your thoughts as his fingers traced circles on you.

”I’ll get used to it.”

”Will you?” He asked, surprised that you were talking about the future with him in it so confidently.

”I mean…” you shrugged. ”If you want me to.”

The look you were giving him was worth all the pain he has been in because he knew that you meant every word you said. Some of them were better left unsaid but deep down he knew everything.

”There is nothing I would love more.”

Your heart warmed just when he leaned down to you and pressed his lips to yours, sealing his promise with a kiss that was only meant to be yours.

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