#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lyak12 · 1 month

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Food Poisoning

A/N: I've read a few days ago that our one and only Lucy Bronze played with food poisoning in the 2015 world cup quarter finals... I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, and @helen-with-an-a and I have been talking this through for a good while, haha. I mean, Lucy is basically super human at this point, but I still had to rewrite it. It takes place at the semi-finals of the last World Cup and I'm really putting Sarina on the spot here and making her a bit of the bad guy... I just want to clarify that I don't have anything against her. I just needed a bad guy and she happened to be there. Also you're in for a long one, we're talking almost 7k... my longest one yet. I hope you like it though and thanks again for the help @helen-with-an-a 💕

w/c: almost 7k

Warnings: Throwing up, pain, a bit of Angst and arguments

It is the world cup and you won the quarter finals. Tomorrow is the big day. The semi finals. It's not your first world cup but you're still a bit anxious. You want to win this. You want this not only for the team but especially for Lucy. She finally deserves the world cup title.

Tomorrow however were the semifinals and they were at least just as important if not more than the final itself.

Lucy and you have been dating for a while and it's openly known in the team but that also means during tournaments you usually get diffrent roommates. Which neither of you mind since you're there to play football not to share a room. You're currently sharing a room with Leah and you love it. You two get along so well.

As you wake up that morning the nerves in your belly are already building. You're an early bird so you're getting up before Leah and take your time in the bathroom. You're also always the first to text your girlfriend good morning.

Today however instead if receiving a good morning back LJ, Lucy's roomie, texted you if you're awake already. You immediately text back, wondering why she's texting you this early but with the next message you understood why.

'I don't know what's wrong but Lucy is not feeling great. She didn't want me to text you but I think you'd want to know and come check on her' - LJ texts

'I'll be right there' - you immediately text back and grab your stuff before jogging over to their room. LJ lets you in and you ask "What's wrong?" However Lauren doesn't even have to answer as you hear Lucy throwing up in the bathroom. You quickly throw your things on the bed before making your way into the bathroom.

"Shh, it's okay. I got you, love", you say as you gather her hair that fell out of the bun and start to rub her back. She just retches again before she coughs and says "I told LJ not to text you." "Yeah well, I'm glad she did. Are you done?", you ask softly and she just nods. You help her up and guide her to the sink as you flush the toilet.

Looking at your girlfriend, you can tell she is still feeling like utter shit. "Shh deep breath, what's wrong Baby?", you say as you slip your hand under her shirt and rub her back slightly. She feels a bit sweaty but you put that off on the throwing up.

"I don't know, I'll be okay. I just need a second", Lucy says trying to convince herself she's fine. You hand her some water and she drinks a few sips before the both of you make your way back into her room.

"You okay, Bronzey?", Lauren asks softly and Lucy just nods but Lauren can see in your eyes that you're worried. Lucy quickly gets dressed before all three of you make your way to breakfast. You can see that your girlfriend is still nauseous and you honestly don't know what she wants at breakfast but if there's one thing, it's that Lucy has her own mind.

In the elevator you rub over her back slightly and she gives you a weak smile, trying to act like she's fine. Before you get in to the dining hall you pull her aside a bit and ask again "Baby, I can see you're not okay. Are you sure you want to get breakfast? We can go lay down again for a bit if you like." Your eyes betray how worried you are but Lucy just shakes her head and smiles softly before saying "I'm okay, we need the fuel for the game this afternoon."

You just sigh but know better than to fight with her right now. Maybe she'll feel better after breakfast. You have until lunch to rest and do some more recovery. Maybe Lucy will feel fine again in a few hours.

You can hope right? You sit with her at breakfast and your eyes are constantly on her as she slowly eats her food. You can tell it's getting harder for her to swallow with every bite. "Don't force it, Babe", you say softly as you rub her thigh but she just answers "I need the energy for later."

You just watch her worriedly and Leah and Keira, who are sitting at the table with you share a concerned look too. Lucy's free hand rests on her lap, holding her stomach as she forces herself to take another bite.

You can see Lucy starting to get really nauseous again as her chewing slows down. She's just desperately trying to swallow but you're scared she's about to blow again. Her breaths are deep but a bit to fast for your liking. However you're not saying anything as she tries her hardest to battle her stomach silently.

Before you know it she gets up and quickly makes her way to the bathroom with you right behind her. She barely makes it to the toilet before she throws up her breakfast and even a bit more. "Shh it's okay, Luce. I'm here", you say soothingly as she gathers her bearings, seeming to be done for now.

You grab some toilet paper and rub her mouth gently as she takes a few deep breaths. Getting up she walks to the sink before holding on to the the counter and grabbing her stomach slightly. You flush the toilet and walk up to her, resting a hand on her back gently before you carefully lay your hand on her belly. Stroking it gently with your thumb you feel her abs clench as her stomach cramps.

"Oh Babe, you're really not looking too hot", you say softly and press a kiss to her temple. "I'm okay", she just says and gets herself back together. "Luce, that was the second time you threw up. You're not okay", you say gently but she just looks at you seriously and says again with a bit more force "I'm okay."

You just sigh as she freshens up for a second and you both make your way back to breakfast. She sits back down and continues to eat as you just watch her concerned. "You okay, Bronzey?", Leah asks and Lucy just nods, the look in her eyes telling Leah to let it go. After breakfast you quickly talk to Leah and LJ that you'll spend time until lunch with Lucy, just to be there if something is wrong and they just nod. LJ telling you that she'll stay out of the room to give you two some privacy, eventhough that's not what you asked for.

As you knock on their door LJ opens it before grabbing her stuff and saying quietly to you "Make sure she's okay." You just nod and thank her before walking fully into the room. Lucy sitting on the bed with her iPad rewatching the last Australia game to prepare some more for the game this afternoon.

"Didn't you want to roll out your muscles?", Lucy asks confused as she sees you standing in the room. "I can do that while I keep an eye on you", you say, lifting up your blackroll. "Y/n/n, I'm fine", she tries but you immediately say "Lucy, save that for someone else. I can tell you're not. You're pale as a sheet of paper and I can tell you're in pain."

She just looks up at you as you pause the game and put her iPad aside, sitting down next to her. "Be honest with me", you say softly as you rest a hand on her back and one on her hand on her stomach, which she was still holding tightly.

She's silent for a few moments as she sorts her thoughts. She grimaces slightly as her stomach cramps and closes her eyes for a second, the fact that you saw that let's you know that's he's willing to let you in, at least a bit for now. You gently rub her hand with your thumb and ask "Why don't you lie down and rest a bit?"

She immediately shakes her head and says "I'll get sick again if I lay down." Your heart breaks at that. Its been a while since you've seen her physically so unwell. You slide a bit closer and say "Lean against me then." She does without much hesitation as you start rubbing her back. You can tell that she has been getting increasingly more nauseous since you first stepped into the room. "Shh deep breaths, you'll be okay", you say softly as you kiss her head.

She lasts about five minutes before she peels out of your arms and jogs to the bathroom once again. Finding yourself holding her hair back and rubbing her back again, you sigh softly. Why today?

"Oh love, what's wrong with your stomach? You think it's a bug?", you ask softly once she calms down a bit. She just shrugs as she rests her head on her arm, still unbelievably nauseous. Coughing a bit she gags again harshly. You get up and drench a cloth in cold water before coming back and resting it on her neck.

She slowly calms down a bit more and takes a few deep breaths. "Shh, good job, love, you're doing so good", you say softly as she leans back into you a bit. "This doesn't seem like a bug", she mumbles and you know what she means. You've seen her with a stomach bug, but she has never thrown up so much.

You grab the cloth and gently wipe her face as you say "Maybe it was something you ate?" She just shrugs as she tries to relax into you a bit. "Why today? How am I supposed to play my best like this?", she asks and you frown before you say "Babe, you're not playing like this." She turns around and looks at you as she says serious "I am playing, this is not up for debate."

You decide to not argue with her right now so you just sigh and ask "Are you done for now love?" She just nods and you help her up and to the sink where she freshens up.

She sits down on the bed and you hand her some water and electrolytes. That's one thing you never have to worry about, thankfully, she'll always drink, even if it comes right back up. She sips on the drinks as she grabs her iPad again and continues watching the game.

You can't help but sigh at that. You know how stubborn your girlfriend can be. You walk over to her and press a kiss to her head before deciding to roll out your muscles. There is no way for you to stop Lucy in watching that game. Might as well do your own recovery so you're ready for this afternoon.

"Will you please at least lean against the headboard, honey?", you ask as you move to the floor with your roll. She looks at you before complying hestiantly. "Thank you", you say and take off your hoodie, leaving you in a sports crop top because doing this in a normal shirt gave you the ick.

You focus on your own recovery and roll out your tense muscles while every once in a while looking at Lucy. And more than not you find her looking back at you. "I thought you wanted to watch the game?", you tease gently trying to not worry so much and keep the tone light. "Looking at the screen makes me dizzy", Lucy admits and you just frown.

"I really don't think you should play", you say as you keep rolling out your muscles and Lucy just warns "Y/N." "I'm just saying", you say again and focus on your recovery. Lucy turns off her iPad and keeps watching you as you do your recovery.

Every once in a while she sips on her drinks but you can tell she's feeling pretty crappy. Once you're done you, you get up and sit back down next to her. She just looks at you and you sigh softly before taking her in her your arms.

"I'm sorry you're not feeling well", you mumble and kiss her head. You can feel that she's slightly warm. She doesn't say anything but you can tell she's about to throw up again. "You want me to get you a bucket or bathroom?", you ask softly but she just gets up and runs back to the bathroom.

Sighing again you get up and follow her once more. Lucy is coughing and gagging harshly again as she throws up the water and whatever is left from her breakfast. "Oh Baby", you say softly as she rests her head on her arm and catches her breath. It's this moment where the cramps are really settling in. She grabs her stomach and retches again before spitting into the toilet once more and flushing.

You rub her back and ask softly "Done?" She just nods and you help her freshen up and back in bed. "Are you sure you don't want to try to nap, love?", you ask gently but she just shakes her head as she curls up because of the cramps. You gently pull her into your arms and rest your hand on her belly. "May I?", you question and she nods hesitantly.

You had about half an hour before lunch, so you spend the time rubbing your girlfriend's belly, trying to make her feel a bit better somehow. Eventhough she relaxes a bit Lucy's cramps don't really get any better.

As it's lunch time Lucy is adamant to join you, and you just let her even if you want nothing more than have her lay down. LJ and Leah look at Lucy worried, she looks like crap but she still sits down and eats with them.

"Lucy, you really should lay down and try to get some rest. Playing is not a good idea", Leah says and Lucy just answers "Thats not for you to decide." Leah wants to argue but you just shake her head. Lucy is not in her right mind.

You don't have much time after lunch before you're meeting at the bus to drive to the arena, so you quickly escorting Lucy back to her room, followed by LJ. She barely makes it there before she throws up her lunch again. She's shaking slightly.

"Alright that's it. You're staying here", you say but Lucy answers with her head still over the toilet "I'm not. I'll not sit this one out."

"Are you serious?! Lucy, you can't keep anything down!",

"And?",

"And?! That's fucking insane to even think about playing? You're obviously in no condition to play!",

"I'm FINE", Lucy says but only throws up again.

"You're not fine, stop lying to yourself!", you yell and she just looks at you, before saying "I will play today, deal with it."

You just stare at her. "You know what? Fine. But I'm not gonna be there to scratch you off the floor when you collapse", you say and get up before you step out of the bathroom. You walk past Lauren and out of the room before making your way to your own room.

Everyone knows that's a lie. You'll take care of her but you'll still be mad.

"Is she coming? Did she get sick again?", Leah asks as you storm into the room. "Yes she is and of course she did", you say as you throw your hoodie on the bed and angrily pack the rest of your bag. "Hey. This is not your fault. That's just how Bronzey is", she says softly as she puts a hand on your shoulder. You look up with tears in your eyes and say "But that's just reckless. She couldn't keep anything down today, Leah. Nothing. She's in no state to play. Why can't she understand that?"

Leah sighs softly and says "I don't know but I know you did everything you could. Maybe Sarina doesn't let her play." You just sigh and sit down on your bed. Tears are still running down your cheeks as you mumble "I'm just scared something will happen to her." "I know, but she'll be okay. And if we're lucky she'll learn out of it?", Leah says and you just look at her with a raised eyebrow. You both laugh softly before Leah wraps her arms around you and pulls you in a hug. "She'll be okay Y/n/n", "I hope you're right", you mumble and calm down a bit.

You get dressed and ready before you head to the bus. Asking one of the medics for some of these emisis bags you sit down next to Lucy. Eventhough you freshend up and washed your face Lucy can still tell that you've cried and eventhough she's feverish she knows that it's her fault.

Talking to you isn't an option now though because you had your headphones on. Lucy knows you needed the drive to the stadium to sort your head so she just keeps quiet and looks out the window instead. Her stomach still cramping quiet badly but she tries not to show it. However, you can tell. Turning to her slightly you open your arms and let her lean on you before rubbing her belly softly. You still won't talk to her but you don't have the heart to let your girlfriend suffer.

You're about halfway there as you can tell Lucy is about to throw up again. You hand her the bag without a word and she throws up as quietly as she can to not disturb your teammates. As you finally reach the stadium you get up and move to the locker room. You all sit together in the locker room, changed, Lucy clearly miserable but she seems to be focused as your manager and the rest of the coaching staff comes in.

After looking around Sarina asks "Are up okay to play, Lucy?" Lucy just nods and you can't help but snort at that, shaking your head that Sarina would actually let Lucy play. "Something wrong Y/N?", she asks and you just shake your head again. You're part of the starting XI as well, you don't want to risk that spot because you argue with Sarina.

You all head out for warm up before you sit down on the bench to have some water. It's about time to line up. However before you can focus on that you hear Lucy starting to throw up again two spots down. You quickly walk over and rest a hand on her back, rubbing it softly as she throws up some water, clutching her stomach.

You look at her worried but once she's done you're more pissed than worried again so you just get up and head for the tunnel. Everyone can tell your pissed but lucky for them, you're an even better player when you're pissed.

The first half moves along greatly with you scoring at 36 minutes, getting your team in the lead. You're hot and playing well.

During half time break Lucy gets violently sick again on the bench. She's starting to become really feverish and you're really starting to be worried out of your mind. You can tell how bad the cramps are and that she can barely breathe deep without another cramp rocking through the brunettes stomach. "Lucy, this is getting ridiculous! You need to rest!", you say loudly. "I'm fine", she says weakly and you just huff angrily. "Can you continue Lucy?", Sarina asks and your girlfriend just nods. "You can't be serious?!", you ask Sarina angrily.

"Y/N, when Lucy says she can play. She can play", she says and you just look at her surprised before looking at the medics who just shrug. "You're seriously gonna let her play after she once again threw up everything in her? She's shaking and feverish! Do you know how reckless that is?", you ask in disbelief before you hear Lucy from behind you "Babe, calm down." "Oh don't you dare to tell me what to do. We will talk about that later", you snarls at your girlfriend, God you were angry. "You're some reckless people and I honestly don't know how you can even think about letting such a sick player play. Risking her health for what? Since when is winning more important than your players health", you spit at Sarina and the coaching staff.

You know you crossed a line probably but right now you don't give a shit. Leah having heard snippets of it, she walks over to you and pulls you away. "Come on, let's take a breather", she says and you look at her, wanting to yell at her too but her look makes you stop. You let her pull you away and she says "I know you're angry, but yelling at Sarina will only end in her pulling you of the field." You try to calm down but you can't stop the tears in your eyes once again. "I know, but have you seen Lucy? How can they let her play like that?", you ask as you try to swallow your worry. Leah stops moving and takes you in her arms again, holding you close to let you calm down. "I don't know, she'll be okay. You can't do anything for now. Get your head back in the game okay?", Leah says softly and you nod as you take a deep breath.

You get your head back in the game and try your best to not focus on Lucy as the second half starts. In the 59th minute you play another cross which almost ends in a perfect goal from LJ. Almost.

However in the 63th minute Sam Kerr breaks through and you break out in a sprint to catch her. Which you do, however, as she fakes to the right you slip on the artificial turf and fall to the ground. You still manage to kick the ball away slightly but not hard enough. Sam saves the ball and scores, making you even. You just sit on the ground with your head in your hands as you catch your breath. A few of your teammates come over, including Lucy, and help you up, telling you it's not your fault and especially Lucy asking "Are you okay?" You just nod, it had been a bit painful but nothing you can't push through.

Not even two minutes later you get subbed off. You look confused, you've been playing really well. You look at the sideline and see Sarina shaking her head. You walk off, let Alessia come in for you, walking to the bench without looking at Sarina. Did she really pull you off because of one mistake that you couldn't even stop?

You throw yourself in the seat and sip at your water, angry tears burning in your eyes. "Hey, its not your fault", Georgia tells you but you can't really trust that right now. Sarina obviously thinks it is.

You watch the game continue, pissed off. However as Lucy goes down after a tackle you jump up, looking at her worried. She sits up again so you know she didn't pass out but the game continues, also with another goal for you. Everyone on the bench is cheering except you. As Lucy slowly slides of the pitch and the medic makes her way to her you break out in a full run and run to your girlfriend. You can hear Sarina yell your name and tell you to stay but you don't give a shit.

You're there after the medic who is already looking at her knee. "Are you okay, Luce?", you ask worried as you squat down behind her with your hands on her shoulders. She pulls her legs up slightly as another round of cramps wreck havoc in her body. She just shakes her head. "Everything hurts, I can't even breath without my whole body cramping up", she mumbles as the medic gives her some electrolytes. Once she drank something it almost comes right back up. "Yeah you're done, love", you say and the medic nods. Lucy is pissed but knows you're right. That's when the ref stops the game and walks over to the three of you.

"You can't be here", she says to you and you just look at her confused. "I'm off the pitch, what's the problem?", you ask pissed. "Players can't be next to the goal, it doesn't matter if you're playing or not", "I'm checking on my teammate!", you yell at her. She picked the wrong moment to mess with you. Lucy is just staring at the ground trying to keep ber bearings.

"Don't talk to me like that!", the ref says strictly and you just snort before saying "You make a big deal out of nothing. You stop the game with no reason. Go do your job and let me take care of my teammate!"

You crossed a line and you know that.

She blows the whistle and pulls out a yellow card, giving it to you. "Are you serious? What's your fucking problem?", you start to argue again but the ref isn't having it. Before she could do anything else Leah runs between you two and tells you "Y/N get it together! You'll get carded again and miss the final! I know you're upset but shut your mouth!" By the time she finishes talking, Lucy is on her feet again, stumbling but on her feet. You turn away from the ref and rest a hand on Lucy's back as you guide her to the bench. Lucy gets subbed and you sit down on the bench as she almost immediately starts puking again. "Shh you're okay love", you say soothingly as you rub her back. The medic hands you a cold towel and you rest it on her neck, calming her down. "Y/N what the heck was that?!", Sarina says stomping towards you. You just roll your eyes and keep your attention on Lucy. "Don't ignore me!", she yells and you just look up and say clearly, "I'm not gonna apologize."

You can tell she's about to send you in the locker room but then your teammates score another goal. Your focus still stays on Lucy, it's great your in the lead with two but right now you're worried about your girlfriend. She's trembling and tensing every few moments because of the cramps, the heat here not helping. "Shh you'll be alright, my love", you say gently and press a kiss to her warm temple. As she rests her head in her hands you squat in front of her and hold the cold towel to each side of her face, hoping to lower her fever a bit. The final whistle is blown and you press a kiss to her forehead. "We won, Luce. We're in the final", you whisper and the brunette smiles softly.

"I really don't feel good", she mumbles and your heart breaks at that. "I know, let's get you in the locker room", you say gently before looking at the medic and he just nods for you to take her.

You help her up and steady her as she sways. "We gotta get your fever down", you say and she just nods but you can tell she's pretty out of it. You help her undress and guide her in the shower, only taking off your shoes, shorts and shirt. Getting in with her to make sure she doesn't fall. You stay in for almost 20 minutes but by then her fever dropped at least a little. You are pretty cold but you can care less right now.

Your teammates are mostly in the locker room already as you guide Lucy back to her bench and help her get dressed. "Baby, you're cold", she says but you just ignore her. "She's right, we don't want you getting sick before the final", Leah says, laying your towel around your shoulders. You smile softly at her, thanking her.

Once Lucy is dressed, you quickly change yourself. You will shower at the hotel again. You just pull your shirt down as Sarina knocks at the door. Leah tells her that she can come in and by the look on her face you know she's not done with you.

"What the hell were you thinking, Y/N?!", she yells at you. Leah wants to intervene but you're too quick to answer "What was I thinking?" "You got a yellow because you couldn't keep your mouth shut eventhough you weren't even playing!", she yells at you. "Well I wouldn't have if you wouldn't have been so reckless! What on earth made you think it's okay to let Lucy play?", you ask back loudly. You'd not back down and even Leah knows that intervening now will not end well.

"Lucy said she's fine to play!", she yell and you just laugh angrily. "Everyone knows that she doesn't know when to stop. For fucks sake she couldn't keep anything down all day. Any person that can think logically knew that this was a disaster waiting to happen!", you yell and she just looks angrily at you. "Y/N", Lucy tries, not completely out if it anymore but you just turn to her and say "You better be quiet, Bronze. I'm not done with you either." The fact that you last namened her lets her know she's in trouble so she just shuts her mouth.

"I'm not letting you chew me out because I got a yellow. The ref has been waiting to do that all game and we all know that. You subbed me off because I opened my mouth at halftime. I couldn't have prevented that goal and even if I still feel guilty for it, you of all people should know that it was not my fault!", you yell angrily, you're fuming. "You got a yellow, you're lucky you're not suspended for the final!", she yells back.

"Yeah well if you would've acted with the health of your players as top priority, non of this would've happened!", you spit. "Careful or you'll find yourself on the bench for the final!", she threatens and that when Leah knows she has to step in as captain. "Okay that's enough. Let's go all back to the hotel and calm down before we make any hasty decisions", Leah tells and Sarina just glares at you once more before she leaves the locker room.

"Y/N", Lucy tries again but you just warn, "Don't." "I think it's better if you're quiet, Bronzey", Leah says quietly but you can see her trying to hide a smirk. It's rare to see Lucy Bronze not having a cheeky remark. Leaving the seriousness aside, it is kinda funny so you get Leah.

You head to the bus and sit down next to Lucy again. Now that you're calming down, you're starting to feel your knee a bit from that slip but you'll be fine. You're still pretty pissed so you grab your headphones and put them on, closing your eyes as you lean your head back. You can feel Lucy shifting next to you and not settling in the slightest, so you open your eyes and look at the brunette. You can tell she's feeling sick but the cramps seem to be worse than ever. You sigh softly and turn slightly, before you say "Come here." She looks at you unsure and you say again "I may be really mad at you but I still love you. You have 5 seconds to decide if you want my comfort or not."

It doesn't even take one for her to cuddle into you. Most people wouldn't think that but Lucy is a snuggler. Especially when she's not feeling well. You pull her close and hand her one of the bags you have left, just in case before you gently rub over her belly, trying to soothe those angry muscles.

You end up stuck in traffic and thanks to your soft touch Lucy dozes off a bit. Your eyes are closed again and the music kept the other voices from disturbing your peace. "I thought Y/N is mad at Lucy?", a fairly new teammate asks. She's not been on the team for long enough to fully get Lucy's and your relationship. "Oh she is, she's pissed out of her mind", Keira chuckles softly. "But they're cuddling?!", she asked even more confused. "You must know, Y/n/n is that kind of person where she can be unbelievably mad at you, but she'll still make sure you're okay. No matter what. Lucy can mess up badly like right now but Y/N will take care of her until she feels better because she loves her. She would never in a million years let Lucy suffer on her own or not be there for her just because she's mad. They have a special kind of love", Leah explained as a few of your teammates smile at you guys softly.

You feel that you're being stared at, so you open your eyes to find several teammates quickly look away, but not Leah, Keira and LJ. You see their smile and look down to see Lucy asleep on you. You can't help the smile you crack. Your girlfriend is pretty adorable but you'd never let her see that smile right now. You press a soft kiss to her head and lean back again. Eventually, you make it to the hotel and make your way inside. LJ and you switching rooms for the night, so you can make sure Lucy is okay.

You let Leah know that neither of you will attend dinner tonight before you bring Lucy in the room. "Come on, change and then bed", you say and Lucy wants to argue but your look makes her close her mouth again before following your orders. Lucy is about to lie down as Lauren bring you your bag, before grabbing hers and making her way back to Leah. You start boiling some water in the kettle in the room before fishing the hot water bottle out of your bag. Heat often helps your muscles and Lucy too even if she doesn't want to admit it, so you usually bring it. Once you are done prepping it, you sit down at the edge of the bed, lift the blanket and place it on Lucy's stomach. She sighs softly in relief before she looks up at you with teary eyes.

You know that she hates it when you're mad at her. You sigh softly and caress her cheek, before you say "Don't cry, Luce. Everything will be okay." "Do you still love me? I'm sorry", she asks insecure and it breaks your heart. That's definitely mostly the exhaustion talking. "I will always love you. Even when I'm mad, love. Now do me a favor and get some sleep okay? I'll join you after a quick shower", you say as you kiss her forehead lovingly. She doesn't have to be told twice. Not even a minute later she's already dozing off.

You smile and shower quickly, before joining her in bed. You cuddle your sleeping girlfriend for about an hour until there is a soft knock at the door. It opens a second later and you see Leah waking in with a tray. There is some dinner on it for you and some crackers and fresh ginger for tea for Lucy. "I figured you'd be hungry. How's our Bronzey?", she asks softly to not wake Lucy.

"Thank you. She's okay, I think. I'm glad she's sleeping. She's exhausted", you say as you look concerned at your girlfriend. Leah walks up to you and squeezes your shoulder before she says "She looks a bit better already. She'll be okay. Now eat something yourself please okay?" You sigh and nod before you thank her. Leah leaves again and you eat your dinner. You're just done eating as Lucy stirs. You gently push a piece of hair out of her face and ask "How are you feeling, love?" "A bit better", she mumbles and leans into your touch.

You press a kiss to her forehead and ask "Do you think you could keep down some tea?" "I can try", she says with a small smile, so you get up and finish some tea with the fresh ginger.

Once it's done, she sits up and you hand her the mug before sitting down across from her. You can tell the fever is gone and she seems a lot clearer than earlier.

"How mad at me are you?", she asks softly as she looks up at you. "Pretty mad", you say before you sigh. "Lucy, you cannot be so irresponsible. This could've ended badly and you know that", "I know, I'm sorry", she says quietly. You know own she means it but that just isn't enough. "I know you are but you're sorry because I'm mad now. Lucy I need you to understand that I'm not mad because you acted against my wish. I was fucking worried about you. You could've gotten seriously hurt. I need you to be okay and I don't know how often I can go through such a day like today", you say seriously, close to tears. She knows your biggest fear is losing her.

She quickly puts aside the mug and opens takes your hands in hers. "Hey y/n/n, look at me and listen please. I know I messed up. I know I worried you and scared you. And I'm sorry for that. I can only imagine how anxious you must've been all day and I never wanted to be the reason you're feeling like that. We both know I have a problem to know my limits and I know I should've listened to you. I'm truly sorry and I need you to believe me. I try to listen to you next time", she says as she looks into your eyes and you just nod before she takes you in her arms, letting you calm down and let those tears and anxiety out.

"I'm still mad at you", you mumble in her shoulder. "I know, I deserve that", she chuckles softly and kisses your forehead. After a few minutes in her arms, you sut up and say "Now drink that tea." "Yes ma'am", Lucy just say causing you to roll your eyes smiling.

Grabbing the hot water bottle from her stomach she pouts dramatically and you just laugh before you tell her "Relax, I'm gonna make a fresh one for you."

Getting up you limp a step before putting the water back in the kettle and turn it on, shaking your leg out slightly. You're definitely feeling your knee and Lucy can tell immediately. "Let me look at your knee", she says but you answer "Lucy I want you to rest and drink your tea." "Yeah, well I don't want my girlfriend to be in pain either when she takes care of me", Lucy tells you seriously. She'll not back down, you know that.

You sigh, finish up the hot water bottle and make your way back to bed. Laying the hot water bottle next to her she gets up and tell you to sit down so she can check on your knee. If there is one person to know everything about knees it's Lucy. She can tell how tense the muscles are, probably overstretched a bit. She massages them a bit, which is pretty uncomfortable but ultimately helps.

"Make sure one of the physios takes a look at that tomorrow and gets you taped up", she says softly and you nod, before you thank her. "Not for that", she says and presses a kiss to your knee before getting back in bed. You cuddle up next to her and place the hot water bottle back on her stomach.

Both of you head to sleep pretty early but she does finish her tea and even eats a few crackers without throwing up again. The next morning, you wake up in her arms. You turn off the alarm and she opens her eyes to look sleepily at you. "Morning, I missed this", she mumbles before kissing your head. "Me too", you say smiling before gently rubbing over her stomach. "How's your tummy?", you ask and she answers "Sore but definitely not as queasy anymore."

You just smile satisfied and cuddle for a few more minutes before you get ready for breakfast.

Once down in the dining area you kiss her cheek and say "Sit down already, I'm gonna get us something to eat." She nods and sits down next to Leah. You come back a few minutes later with two plates only to find Lucy and Leah looking at Leah's phone watching the game from yesterday. More precisely the scene where you got a yellow.

"Why are you watching that?", you whine slightly as you place a plate of toast, some cucumber and some watermelon. "I don't remember much of the game yesterday, I wanna know why you got carded", Lucy says grinning and you just roll your eyes. "The ref has been waiting all game for that", you grumble and Leah just chuckles before she says "And thanks to her you're also on bad terms with Sarina." You just sigh and rub over your face, all of that making your head hurt slightly.

Lucy rests a hand on your thigh and makes you look at her. "Thank you for standing up for me", she says softly. "You're welcome, but you better don't do it again, Bronze", you say with a raised eyebrow. She winced slightly at being last named again. "Understood", she says before pressing a kiss to your temple

#lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze #woso fic #woso x reader #woso community #lionesses #lionesses x reader #wwc 2023

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ayvnari · 9 months

Text

bloodied lips

rhea ripley x f!reader

After losing her fight, she seeks her girlfriend out to blow off some steam.

word count: 1.8k

(incomplete bc idk if its good)

18+!!

warnings : rhea taking her anger out on you, mean-ish rhea, cursing, smoking, mommy rhea, pure smut, oral r!recieving and r!giving, fingering r!recieving, teasing, edging, slight sadism/ masochism, thigh riding, bad girl good girl type, degredation/ praise kink, rough fucking, strap usage, cowgirl, mirror stuff, somewhat bratty reader, idk what else just really slutty

note: this is about the summer slam 2021, rhea ripley vs. nikki a.s.h vs. charlotte flair, also this is my first time writing smut that wasn't a jokey joke so erm!!! and theres barely any plot, mostly just smut bc.

if you asked me a year ago, i never would have imagined myself front row at the summer slam, but yet i was here.

i watched rhea walk into the ring, she practically demanded respect with her presence. and god knows i would give it to her. i couldn't believe i was watching my girlfriend walk into a ring.

of course, i've seen it plenty of times, but i could never get enough of it. and the best part was that she was always the most riled up after winning a good match.

but, what i didn't expect was the complete opposite. not only did she not win, she failed miserably. i winced at every blow she suffered, nikki and charlotte were not holding back.

everytime rhea looked at me in the crowd i blew her a kiss, that would usually pick her spirits up. but she was far too angry to care about me, or anyone for that matter, all she cared about was winning this fight.

after the fight, i waited back in her dressing room for rhea. i was sitting at her vanity, watching the next fight on the tv in the corner of the room. she walked in fuming.

curses spilled out of her mouth.

"that fucking bitch , using those cheesy ass moves , fucking bitch!" she yelled, her australian accent booming through the room. she kicked one of the chairs, before glaring at herself in the mirror.

i jumped as she kicked the chair, i furrowed my eyebrows. "rhea?" i said, my voice calm as i tried to hopefully calm her down.

she looked at me, but it wasn't the normal, loving look she gave me before the match, it was a death glare.

i gulped, before taking a deep breath. "lets calm down, okay? i mean... it cant be that bad." i smiled sheepishly. "there's always next ti-"

"no, there isn't a fucking next time y/n!" she yelled. " i spent fucking months training for this fight and i couldn't do shit, so don't tell me about next time, i don't need a fucking pep talk." rhea clenched her fists, running her hands over her head as she paced around the room.

i stayed quiet, looking down.

"get over here." she told me, i just looked up at her.

"i said, get the fuck over here, y/n. im not in a good mood." she said, wiping the blood off her lips as she stared at me, her voice eerily calm.

i got up from the vanity that i sat in, i looked up at rhea, she could be terrifying when she was pissed. i took small steps towards her, before she grabbed me by the back of my neck.

my eyes widened as she pulled me into a kiss. my face flushed a deep crimson as she bit my lip harshly. i was used to rhea being a bit rough, but i couldn't help but be surprised when i felt a sharp, burning pain on my lip, and blood trickled from my lip onto her own.

she pulled back, rubbing her thumb over my bottom lip, smudging the blood on my lips. she licked the blood of her lips, her eyes filled with anger and lust. almost as a warning of what was to come if i didn't obey her.

"take your clothes off." rhea demanded. my eyes widened. we had never done anything like this in such a public place, nevermind outside our bedroom. even if it was her dressing room, we both knew that her coach would be in here any minute now to reprimand her.

"rhea you can't be seri-"

"off. now."

i looked down, it was clear i wasn't gonna get a word in. "but-"

she grabbed me roughly. "y/n, im not in the fucking mood right now for your bratty shit. just do as i say, now take. it. off." i knew i should be scared of her, but the wetness in my panties were telling me otherwise.

i knew i shouldn't tease her, but i couldn't help myself. i turned my head to the side and crossed my arms.

"no."

rhea's eyes turned a dark shade of red, she growled. "what the hell do you mean, 'no'?!" she yelled. my eyes widened at her tone, gosh she was such a turn on when she was angry.

"i said no! i don't wanna, i wanna finish watching the fight." i huffed, before sitting down on a nearby couch, ignoring rhea entirely. i could practically feel her staring at the back of my head, her eyes like lazers.

i heard her breathing increase, i was surprised steam wasn't coming out of her ears. i knew she wasn't gonna let this behavior slide, and that only excited me more.

i heard rhea walk out, slamming the door behind her. she was pissed.

by the time we got back into her car to leave, rhea couldn't keep her eyes off of me, she was practically begging for my attention, and i didn't listen to her.

"y/n. look at me." she demanded, she was still pissed about her fight, and even more pissed that i wasn't paying her any mind.

"you know what? okay." that was all rhea said. my eyes widened and i looked at her, but rhea was already pulling out of the parking space.

did i fuck up? no.

i looked at the smirk that adorned her face, she had something planned, and i was completely unprepared.

the second we got back to her apartment, she pushed me up against the wall and gripped my hair, pulling my head to look at her. she gripped me tight, i winced in pain, her large hand was a blessing and a cruse. i felt her hand unbuckle my belt and unzipping my jeans. she roughly stuck her hands into my jeans, her large, calloused fingers tracing me through my panties.

i let out a shaky breath. "rhea..." i whined, i couldn't ignore her when her hands were on me, it was impossible.

"shut the fuck up." rhea glared at me. "you wanted to be a fucking brat? i'll treat you like a brat." she scoffed, a smirk played at her lips. if i weren't so turned on i probably would have punched her.

she wrapped her large hands around my waist, and picked me up like i weighed nothing. she threw me over the shoulder and took me to our bedroom.

she pushed me into the room, standing me in front of the large closet mirror.

"look at me." her voice caught me off guard and my eyes caught hers in the mirror, i felt a shiver run down my back as she glared at me.

she smirked, and started unbuckling my jeans, pulling them down roughly. they pooled at my feet as she forced a hand in my underwear, her calloused fingers running over my slit.

"god, fucking slut..." she cooed. i closed my eyes, and she bit my ear roughly. "you've been acting like such a bitch all day, you wanted this didn't you?"

i looked at her in the mirror, pleading for her to touch me. every touch of hers felt like heaven, and i needed more.

she scoffed. "what do you want?" she raised her chin up, tilting her head. god, i loved when she did that.

my words caught in my throat, i felt her thumb slowly graze my skin, and I felt my knees become weak.

"use your words." her voice was husky and demanding.

"i... i..." my words didn't seem to want to come out of my mouth.

rhea began to get frustrated, she pulled her hand out of my underwear, and gripped my waist, pulling it towards her. she roughly pushed me against the mirror, her hands the only things holding me up as my cheek smushed against the glass.

my heavy breath fogged up the mirror, as I looked back towards rhea, whos grinded her hips against me. "tell me what you want." she repeated, her hand inching up my shirt before roughly gripping one of my breasts.

i let out a surprised yelp. "rhea... i... i want you... please..." i begged, my voice was hoarse and whiny, i wasn't proud of it but at this point i couldn't care less.

"im pissed, y/n." she growled. "i wanted you to help me, and instead you gave me back talk then completely ignored me. do you really expect me to touch you?" she said, her voice was mocking, i could practically hear her smirk.

i should be mad, but i couldn't help the wet spot that formed on my underwear.

rhea let out a groan of frustration, sitting on the bed. she was manspreading as she glared at me, leaning back on her arms.

"so do it yourself."

my breath hitched at her words. "rhea... please i can't-"

"do it. you really wanna keep pissing me off?" she threatened.

i let out a small sigh, my eyes glazed over. she pulled me down on her leg, looking up at me.

i bit my lip, looking at her. her words repeated in my head

do you really wanna keep pissing me off?

my cooter wooter ached at her words. i moved my hips, moving them back and forth on her thigh.

i bit my lip and let out a soft moan.

she sat there watching me, clearly amused by the predicament she put me in.

I held onto her shoulders, rutting my hips on her thigh, the feeling of her denim jeans drove me crazy. god, and that look in her eye. it made me feel so powerless.

i felt that familiar knot in my stomach, i hid my face in the nook of her neck. i rocked my hips, they began to ache as i tried to chase my high.

"rhea... please... im so close... im gonna-" i was suddenly knocked off balance by rhea bouncing her leg, my orgasm fading away from me.

"i don't think you deserve it." rhea said, glaring at me.

i looked up at her, my lip trembling. "rhea please... i'll do anything!" i cried into her chest.

rhea sighed, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from her back pocket and lighting it, she took a drag and blew it in my face, her black lipstick staining the paper casing.

"go get it." she said, before taking another drag, the tip of the cigarette lighting a bright red as she did.

i felt relief at those words, was she gonna finally give me what i wanted?

i got up from her lap, my legs shaky from my previous denial, my core still aching from the loss. i opened the closet, and picked up a box. i opened it, pulling out a large, black, 7inch strap-on.

i practically drooled at the thought of rhea ruining me with it.

i walked back over to her, she snatched it out of my hand, before pulling down her jeans, she put it on and looked at me.

she grabbed me by my hair, pushing me down between her legs. she pushed it against my lips, practically growling at me.

"suck it."

i cant finish this just take this i dont know if it's good or not so erm!

#rhea ripley x reader #rhea ripley #rhea ripley x you #wwe rhea ripley #wwe fanfiction #wwe imagine #rhea ripley imagine #rhea ripley smut #rhea ripley fanfiction #bro its not even done #its so bad #wtf

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wholoveseggs · 2 months

Note

Can I maybe have an angst/fluff where the reader had turned her humanity off and Elijah is trying his best to flip it back on? Thank you!! Love your work 💕

Forgiveness

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

After a tragic event you flip your humanity switch and begin to terrorize the Quarter. You have to be put down for the good of the city, but your husband will stop at nothing to save you.

♡♡ Thanks for the request anon(s) sorry it took so long! ♡♡

5.5k words - Warnings: so so so angsty, violent, reader does some evil shit, a bit of sex but its not sexy, this is definitely the darkest thing I've ever written.. you want angst??? you get angst.

Marcel sat on a stool in a dimly lit bar, staring into his glass of whiskey. He wondered how much more loss he could take, and when it would finally break him.

He was experiencing a kind of helplessness he hadn't experienced since he was a boy, sneaking half rotten apples in his shirt, running home as fast as he could so he wouldn't be caught.

He couldn't outrun his feelings now. They followed him wherever he went, nipping at his heels, mocking him for the things he couldn't fix, the things he couldn't undo.

It wasn't his fault, not really, yet he felt guilty, because a part of him still cared for you. Even after all you had done. All you had become.

He was pulled out from his melancholy by one of his nightwalkers, a vampire called Arthur, a man who had served in the first World War, and came to New Orleans, looking for the easy life.

He sat down next to Marcel and placed a gold chain necklace on the table, it had distinct little jewels, each one a different color. Marcel recognized it instantly and his heart sank at the flecks of blood still clinging to it.

"Jean," he said softly, picking the necklace up and examining it.

Arthur nodded his head. "I found her in an alleyway, anyone could of come across it," he told Marcel.

"How bad?" Marcel asked, already knowing the answer.

"Not pretty. I got rid of the body."

"Thanks," Marcel said, and he meant it. He didn't want a bunch of human detectives finding the body and raising questions. "I told Jean not to go after her," he said, shaking his head, the weight of his regret was almost crushing.

Arthur poured himself a drink, and looked at Marcel with a raised brow.

"What else was she supposed to do? Sit at the bar and mope while her friends are slaughtered," he said, taking a swig.

"You know it's not that simple," Marcel told him.

Arthur sighed, "I know," he said, "but we gotta stop her, she's killing us off, one by one,"

Marcel finished his drink, his knuckles turning white around the glass.

"Yeah," he agreed, his voice breaking, "I know."

He looked down at his glass, watching the amber liquid swirl around, wondering if he could ever drink enough to forget who you used to be, if he would ever get you back. The ironic part was that he needed some solid advice and the person he usually would go to was you.

He threw his glass on the ground and it shattered on the floor, causing the other vampires in the bar to jump.

"Fuck," he yelled, standing up, looking around at his people. "Listen up, she got Jean," he paused as the crowd murmured in shock, "and I'm not gonna stand here and let her kill anyone else," he announced.

"What about Elijah?" A young vampire asked.

"Fuck him," Marcel shouted, "he will let us all die before he hurts his precious wife."

"If you see her, bring her to me, and I will give you the daylight ring of your choice," he promised, and the crowd cheered.

"Now go, and do not approach her alone," he ordered, and the group dispersed.

"We got this Marcel," Arthur told him.

Marcel gave him a nod and watched him leave. His heart broke for what he knew he had to do. He would stop you, no matter what it took.

A soft low moan came tumbling past your lips as you rocked your hips forward, and dug your nails deeper into the neck of the man beneath you. His eyes were closed in a mix of ecstasy and pain, and his hips thrust upwards, chasing the pleasure you were giving him.

"Don't cum," you compelled him, and his body tensed beneath you.

"Please," he begged, his hands reaching for you, grabbing your thighs and squeezing.

You moaned and lifted yourself up, and then slammed down onto him, hard. He cried out in pleasure, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

"Please," he choked out, and you could see the tears pooling in his eyes.

You were getting tired of him. His stamina was abysmal, and you assumed that since he was covered in tattoos he enjoyed a bit of pain. You had been disappointed when you had learned that wasn't the case.

"Don't be a bitch," you spat, "and shut up."

He nodded, and you could tell he was struggling. You sighed, and grabbed him roughly by the hair, pulling his head to the side and exposing his neck.

He groaned, and you bit into his neck, making sure your teeth sliced deep. Blood poured from his neck, you could taste a hint of the endorphins rushing through him and smiled. You sucked on his wound, and began moving again.

His breathing hitched, and his whole body was shaking, you knew it wouldn't take long for him to reach his orgasm.

"You can cum now," you told him, and he moaned, and his fingers dug into your hips.

You continued rocking into him, and a few seconds later he let out a strangled cry, and you could feel his cock throbbing inside of you.

You smiled through bloodied teeth then sunk your fangs back into his neck, tasting the flood of endorphins. You continued to drink, feeling him struggle underneath you.

"Too much," he wheezed, trying to push you away, but he was far too weak.

You kept going until his breathing slowed, and his body stopped moving. You pulled back and let his body slump onto the bed, looking down disappointedly.

"I don't even get an orgasm out of it," you complained, rolling your eyes.

You lifted yourself off him, stretching and cracking your neck.

You glanced over at the woman laying in the chair in the corner of the room, and frowned. You had forgotten about her. She was alive, her chest rising and falling, her heartbeat thumping loudly.

You had compelled her to be silent and still, she was doing an excellent job. You stood up and walked towards her. She stared at you with wide, terrified eyes. You were naked, and covered in blood, it dripped down your face, and neck, and coated your breasts and legs.

"Oh, honey," you cooed, brushing her hair out of her face. "I'm so sorry, was that your boyfriend?"

The woman whimpered, tears spilling out of her eyes, and you shushed her, gently running your thumb over her bottom lip.

"You shouldn't stay with a cheater," you told her, and she looked at you in confusion, "and you should choose better men," you advised, then snapped her neck.

You went to the bathroom, and turned the shower on, and stepped under the hot stream, letting the water wash away the blood and cum.

Your mind was calm, the only thought swirling around in your head was your desire to drink and fuck, and the two together was an amazing combination.

You washed yourself quickly, then found a dress and slid it over your wet body. It clung to your skin, but you didn't mind.

You put on some jewelry you found and checked yourself out in the mirror. You were beautiful, and the darkness behind your eyes made you look deadly.

You smiled, satisfied with your appearance, and left the hotel, deciding to find your next victim.

New Orleans was a big city, but it was full of sin, and you loved walking the streets, feeling its pulse, and knowing that somewhere there was a soul aching for you to feed on.

You could have compelled yourself a meal, but where was the fun in that? There was something so satisfying about hunting and the chase was exhilarating.

You walked down a back street, thinking about having a redhead for dinner when the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and your stomach clenched.

You were being followed.

You sped up and the person followed suit, and you smiled. Finally, something to cure your boredom. You took a sharp left, and the footsteps following you became hurried.

"Fuck," a male voice shouted, and you laughed, and took another left, and then a right, and a left again. Leading them exactly where you wanted.

You were back near the hotel, and you slipped into the alleyway and waited. You were going to enjoy this.

You didn't have to wait long, a few seconds later a vampire rounded the corner and stopped when he saw you.

"Arthurrr, it's been a while," you said, licking your lips. "I thought you and your merry band of idiots would have learned their lesson by now," you told him.

"Well, you know me, I'm a slow learner," he replied, standing at the head of the alley, his arms crossed.

"Jean was such a nice girl, you guys were together, right?" You asked, knowing full well they were.

"We were," Arthur said, his jaw clenching, and you could see the hurt in his eyes.

"She was so sweet, always so eager to please," you continued, taking a step towards him, "and so willing to do anything for those she loved," you said, pausing, "it's a shame that you're all so willing to die for one another," you finished, taking another step forward.

"Has Elijah seen you like this?" Arthur asked, taking a step back, his hand sliding into his pocket.

"What, covered in blood and looking sexy as hell," you replied, grinning at him.

"No, like a monster."

Arthur watched you freeze, a flicker of emotion crossing your face. It was gone as fast as it came and your expression went cold again and you smirked at him.

It hurt him to see you like this, you had been his friend for decades. But this wasn't about him and you, it was even about his beloved Jean. He didn't care if Elijah would tear him apart for it. He would not let you hurt another person he loved. He had to put you down, like a rabid dog.

"Isn't that what we are Artie? Monsters."

"Not all of us," he said, his voice cracking.

"Come on, don't be shy," you said, stepping closer, "I'll let you get a hit in."

Arthur reached into his pocket and felt the needle he prepared. You were much older and stronger than he was, but all he had to do was get close enough to you and shove the needle into your skin and maybe he could end this nightmare

Marcel knelt down over Arthur's body, or at least what was left of it. He didn't have anymore tears left in him to shed.

"I'm sorry, my friend, go be with Jean," he whispered, closing Arthur's eyes.

"And Mark, Jessa, Sean, Patrick..." Said a voice from behind him.

Marcel closed his eyes and sighed, turning around and looking up at Elijah.

"How can you be so fucking callous?" Marcel snarled.

Elijah didn't know how to respond. He was numb, and the pain had become too much. He was barely holding himself together, the only thing keeping him going was his promise.

He was going to save you, no matter the cost.

"Are you just going to stand there and act like you don't care?" Marcel spat, standing up, anger and resentment coursing through him.

"Don't make this any worse than it already is," Elijah said.

"You are killing us!" Marcel shouted, taking a step towards him.

Elijah shook his head and clenched his fists, and Marcel saw the pain in his eyes. He stopped himself and took a breath.

"Elijah, she is out of control, you need to do something," he said, his voice softer.

"I know," Elijah agreed. "But... she's... I can't, not yet," he stuttered, his voice breaking, "just a few more days," he pleaded, looking at Marcel desperately.

"A few more days," Marcel scoffed, "Elijah, if you don't stop her, I will have to kill her."

Elijah flashed forward and shoved Marcel into the wall.

"You won't lay a finger on her," Elijah growled, his face inches from Marcel's.

"I don't want to," Marcel told him, and Elijah could see the truth in his eyes. "But I can't let her keep doing this, you can't expect us to sit around and let her murder everyone we love."

"Marcel..." Elijah warned, his grip tightening.

"Elijah, this has to stop," Marcel said, shoving Elijah back, "I have to stop her, before she kills the whole fucking Quarter," he exclaimed, his eyes glistening.

"I know you Mikaelsons only care about yourselves, so let me put this in a way you will understand." Marcel took a breath, and tried to remain calm. "We can't hide what she's doing anymore. The humans are scared, and are starting to ask questions. If this continues, they will figure out that we exist, and the whole world will come down on New Orleans, and none of us will make it out alive."

Elijah's shoulders slumped and he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"What would you have me do, Marcel?" Elijah asked, his voice soft and defeated.

"Turn her humanity back on."

You felt like shit, cold yet hot, your throat was on fire and every limb ached. You sat up slowly and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, and blinked several times. Your vision was blurry, and it took a moment for the room to come into focus.

You thought it was just vervain in that needle, nothing a couple of drinks couldn't fix, but when you started to see things that weren't there, you realized that Arthur must have dosed you up with wolfsbane.

You managed to crawl into some hole of an apartment to hide from the hallucinations, hoping when you woke up you would be feeling better.

But it didn't, you were dying. You could feel it.

"No," you moaned, falling back against the wall, the reality of your situation sinking in.

"You didn't think I would just let you die," a soft, familiar voice spoke.

"You're not real," you told him, refusing to look at him.

"That doesn't mean I'm not here."

You looked up and Elijah was standing in front of you. You sighed and closed your eyes, but he was still there, in your mind.

"What kind of monster are you?" He asked and you laughed.

"Child killer," you answered, looking at him, his expression was blank. "Murderer, adulterer, thief, blasphemer..." You listed, but he remained expressionless.

"Whore," he added and you laughed again.

"I'm a terrible wife," you said, smiling.

"You are a monster," he repeated.

"So are you," you snapped.

"I never claimed to be otherwise," he said.

"If you are real you should kill me," you suggested.

"I'm not real," he reminded you.

"I know, the real you would never call me a whore," you replied, and he chuckled.

"I'm dying Elijah," you stated, your eyes welling up with tears, "this is it, I can feel it."

"What are you going to do about it?"

You took a deep breath and stood up, leaning against the wall for support.

"I'm going to go get the cure," you decided, stumbling out into the night.

The compound wasn't far from the apartment, and the cold air helped you wake up, and your head was clearer, and you could focus on your destination.

"Why not let yourself die?" Elijah asked, walking alongside you.

"Living is much more fun, so many possibilities," you said, "food, sex, money..."

"Family, friends..." He added.

"Waste of time," you dismissed, waving him away, watching him dissolve.

You pushed through the iron gates, trying your best to compose yourself. You entered the courtyard and saw a few nightwalkers scattered around, they didn't notice you and continued drinking and chatting.

"Where is Klaus?" You asked loudly.

Everyone turned and looked at you, and the room fell silent. All you could see was their fear and it amused you.

"I will not ask again," you said, smiling sweetly.

"In his studio," someone answered, and you gave them a nod, and walked past then, heading upstairs.

You barged right in and found him standing in front of an easel, painting. He only painted when he was troubled, and his canvas was filled with darkness and death.

"Lovely," you commented, walking towards him.

Klaus didn't turn to look at you, he simply continued to paint. "Elijah isn't home, but I expect you know that already," he said.

"How perceptive," you remarked.

"To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" He asked.

"I need your blood," you told him.

"Rather bold of you to ask, considering the circumstances," he said, finally turning to look at you.

You didn't know what to say. You had no words, and for once you were lost for a witty remark. You just stared at him, and he studied you.

"I've been hearing about your extracurriculars," he said, a smirk tugging at his lips.

"Is that so," you replied, and the corners of your mouth curled up.

"Killing a child, now that's unexpected," he remarked.

You ignored him, unable to respond, because it wasn't something you wanted to think about. You could see your hallucination of Elijah staring at you from the corner of the room. A small child appeared next to him, blood pouring out of her neck.

"Why didn't you save me?" She asked, her eyes filled with pain and betrayal.

"Shut up," you whispered, shaking your head.

"She died in pain, and you did nothing," the vision of Elijah said, and you closed your eyes, trying to will it all away. It was becoming irritating.

"I'm sure the mother will be most upset," Klaus said.

"Spare me the guilt trip, you've done far worse," you spat, opening your eyes, relieved the visions had disappeared.

Klaus observed your disheveled state and noticed how much you were sweating, and the dark circles under your eyes. You were clearly unwell, and it explained why you risked coming back to the compound. You really did need his blood.

"I have, love. But that's just who I am, it's not who you are," he replied, turning back to his canvas.

"Well, I've always wanted to try the whole serial killer thing," you said, trying to sound light-hearted, but the joke fell flat, and neither of you laughed.

"So you killed the child because you wanted to? Because you enjoy doing such things? I'm not even that diabolical." He chuckled, adding a bit of white to the canvas.

"Yes, Klaus, I wanted to kill her, I wanted her to suffer, and I wanted to see the look on her mother's face as I did it."

Klaus set his brush down, and turned back to you. "That's a lie, it was an accident, Marcel told me," he said, watching your eyes widen, and your face fall.

"It was an accident," the little girl's ghost said, appearing in front of you.

You stumbled back, bumping into the sofa, and the girl was right in front of you.

"Why didn't you save me?" She repeated, tears filling her eyes.

"FUCK!" You yelled, your hands gripping the sides of your head.

"Wolfsbane is one hell of a trip," Klaus said casually, watching you stumble back from something he couldn't see.

"If you won't give me your blood, just kill me, I rather not die in agony," you told him.

"Do you think you deserve it?" He asked.

"Deserve what? Death, mercy, life? Who knows, who cares," you answered.

"I think Elijah does," Klaus said, and you froze.

"I'm not talking about this with you," you said, turning to leave.

"Despite what you may think, I do consider you family, even in the state you are in," he said, and he saw the look of surprise on your face.

"Ahh, there it is," he said softly, "a flicker of feeling just under the surface, fight your way back y/n," he encouraged.

Frustration was the only thing you were feeling and you lashed out, pushing over his easel, knocking his paints off the table.

He raised his eyebrows at your outburst and laughed, it was a rough, genuine laugh, and he grinned at you.

"Very well, Elijah wouldn't be pleased if I let you die and I kind of like you like this," he admitted, "though, you are rather irritable."

You stopped yourself from talking back, just needing to get your hands on his blood. You didn't want to waste any more time with him.

"Now, what am I going to ask in return," Klaus said, stroking his chin, "something I've been wanting for a very long time."

"If you want to fuck you don't have to bribe me," you told him.

"As tempting as that is, no," he said, grinning. "I want a favor, in the future," he offered.

"You're going to have to be more specific."

"That's the beauty of a favor, it can be anything," he said.

"Fine," you snapped, "blood now please,"

Klaus smirked and opened a drawer in the table, taking out a vial and handing it to you. You snatched it from his hand and uncapped the lid, gulping the blood down.

"What hallucinations were you having?" He asked, and you froze, and he laughed.

"Private ones," you replied, placing the empty vial on the table.

"You're no fun," he pouted. "You have my blood now, get out," he said, returning to his canvas.

You didn't argue, leaving him to his painting, and returned to the main courtyard. You stood there, trying to figure out your next move. You knew what was waiting for you if you turned your humanity back on. Guilt and self-loathing, and the pain of knowing what you've done, and not being able to take it back.

You needed to leave the city before they forced you to turn it back on. There was nothing here for you anyway, not anymore.

"That's her," you heard someone say, and looked around.

"Are you sure?" Another asked.

"I'm sure," the first one confirmed.

They were staring right at you, but the fear in their eyes from earlier was gone, replaced with anger and resentment. You smiled and flashed forward, snapping the neck of the vampire who had identified you.

The rest charged, and you were surrounded by vampires, but it wasn't a challenge. You were far older and stronger than them. The courtyard turned into a slaughterhouse and the floor was covered in blood.

You were standing over a body, tearing the heart out when Marcel called your name. You dropped the heart and slowly turned, your lips curling up into a smirk.

Marcel grabbed your arm, trying to break your hold, but it was no use, you were stronger than him. You smiled, digging your fingers deeper, and he gasped.

"Marcellus," you greeted, smirking. Before he could react you slammed him against the wall. "I was hoping I would run into you," you said, pressing your hand into his chest. "We have some unfinished business,"

"I taught you better than that sweet Marcel," you taunted, twisting your wrist.

Marcel looked into your eyes, full of emotion, and you couldn't tell if it was sadness or pity.

"Stop this," he said, his grip tightening, and he tried to push you back. "I don't want to kill you," he said, his voice softer.

"And why not?" You asked, digging your fingers deeper, his face twisted in pain.

"Because..." he choked out, his heart slowing down, and his vision blurred, "I know you are still in there, my friend, and I'm not going to lose you,"

"I was so boring, so full of weakness," you told him, "this is who I was meant to be."

"No, you're not," he gasped, struggling to breathe, his legs buckling under the pressure. "You were the woman who helped raise me, would bake me apple pies whenever I had a bad day, would let me sleep in the same bed as her and Elijah when I had a nightmare, the woman who taught me love and compassion," he told you, and his grip tightened on your arm.

"And now she is hurting because she made a mistake, and that is something that I can forgive, because I know her heart is good."

You laughed coldly, his attempts to manipulate you not working, and you tightened your grip. You didn't want to hear anymore from him, his words were getting under your skin in a way that caused fear to trickle in.

"Goodbye, Marcel," you said, squeezing his heart, and it was too late for him to stop you, his strength was leaving him.

"Darling, put Marcellus down," said the last voice you wanted to hear. The one that could make all your pain return.

You felt him behind you, his hand on your waist. Your breath caught in your throat and the hairs on the back of your neck stood up.

"Let him go," Elijah said softly, his hand moving to your arm, keeping you from tearing Marcels heart out.

"Fuck off Elijah," you growled, struggling to get free, but his grip was like a vice.

"We can do this the hard way if you insist, I have no issue breaking your neck," he warned.

"You would never do that to your precious wife," you taunted, tugging in Elijah's grasp causing Marcel to cough up more blood.

Elijah let out a long sigh, then he moved faster than you could comprehend and everything went black.

You woke in a small windowless room, only a few candles illuminating the space. You were in a chair, your wrists bound by chains.

"You're awake," a voice came from the shadows, and Elijah stepped into the light.

"This is kinky, even for you Elijah," you teased.

He did not look amused, sadness and regret filled his eyes, and he had never looked so broken. He knelt in front of you, and rested his hand on yours.

"Turn it back on," he demanded, looking into your eyes.

"I can't," you lied.

"Yes, you can," he said, his grip tightening.

"No, I can't," you argued, "turning it off was the best decision I have ever made."

"What happened was an accident, it wasn't your fault," Elijah said, and you could see the pain in his eyes, "and turning off your emotions does not fix things, it only makes it worse."

You let him talk, he was so good at it, his deep sexy voice creating a perfect melody of bullshit. But you let him think he was getting through to you as you subtly slipped out of your restraints. Your loving husband was so trusting.

"We can work through this, I can help you," he continued, "I love you," he said, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand.

"I know," you replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, and without a word you freed yourself from the chains and sped to the door.

Elijah was quicker, blocking your path. You let out a huff and tried to push past him, but he shoved you back and grabbed your shoulders.

You felt anger again, the only thing you could feel and you unleashed it on him. Clawing, scratching, striking him wherever you could. He took everything you threw at him, and eventually, he trapped you against the wall.

You let you a high pitched scream, it was feral and animalistic, and you thrashed in his grip, but his body pressed against yours, his hands on either side of your head, keeping you still.

"Stop," he said softly, it was barley a whisper.

Your body was pressed firmly against his, and you could feel his heart racing.

"Please," he begged, his eyes filling with tears.

He didn't look angry or annoyed, he looked sad, and it wasn't until then that you noticed his blood, covering your hands and clothes, and you realized how much you had hurt him.

"Just stop, please," he said, his voice cracking, and you knew the pain was too much.

You looked up at him and felt your anger give way into sadness. It was just a trickle, a soft misting of emotion, but it was there. You knew what was coming next.

You felt the weight of everything that had happened, all the hurt, and the pain, and the death, and it consumed you. The dam broke and you wanted, no, needed; to turn it off again.

Elijah could see the torment in your eyes, the light flickering behind them, fighting to return.

"Do you know why I fell in love with you? Why I married you?" He said softly, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

"You pity me, that's all," you said.

"Because," he began, taking your hand in his, "you have a heart," he said, placing your palm on his chest, "that's bigger than anything else, your kindness is endless. Even as a vampire you have always helped more than you've harmed, and that is a gift that not many have."

"Elijah," you whimpered, feeling the weight of his words and the force of your emotions bearing down on you.

"And I can't watch you destroy yourself any longer, because if you die, a part of me will die with you," he finished, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to yours. "You have to feel all the pain, it's worth it, because you also can experience the love," he said, gently cupping your face, "the love I have for you."

You couldn't help yourself, the flood gates had opened, and there was no closing them. You let out a small gasp, and the tears streamed down your cheeks, and he kissed them away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you sobbed, clinging to him.

"It's alright," he hushed, pulling away and brushing the tears from your cheeks.

You didn't respond, you couldn't. You felt a wave of nausea wash over you, and your knees buckled. Elijah caught you, and pulled you close, holding you tight.

"I got you, it's okay," he assured, lifting you off your feet.

He sat down in the chair and held you on his lap. You couldn't stop crying, your face buried in the crook of his neck, and he cradled you.

"I'm a monster," you said quietly, and he held you closer.

"Not to me, never to me," he said, his fingers combing through your hair, and he felt you tremble.

"I killed her," you whimpered, your body tensing and your eyes clenched shut. "An innocent,"

"Shhh," he hushed, and you clung to him.

"How could I," you said, pulling away from him.

"It wasn't your fault. It was an accident, you tried to save her," he reminded, stroking your cheek.

"What's the point of having the power to heal when I can't even save a child," you cried, the guilt and shame tearing you apart.

"She fell, no one could have stopped it, not even Niklaus," he said, his hand moving to the back of your neck, pulling your head forward.

His lips brushed over your forehead, and he planted a small kiss. "Let's go home," he whispered, and your eyes widened.

"I can't, everyone will hate me, I deserve to die," you protested, pushing him away.

"You've been my wife for five hundred years, but only now have you become a true Mikaelson," he chuckled, picking you up and carrying you to the door.

It would take time, penance, and a lot of groveling to repair the damage you had done, and there was a chance some of them may never forgive you, but you had a chance now, to make amends, and that was all you could hope for.

It had been a week since you turned your humanity back on, and it was still painful, and overwhelming.

Klaus came to you one day, while Elijah was out. He had his hands in his pockets and he leaned against the doorframe. He could see how much you were struggling, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm here to call in that favor," he announced, and your eyes narrowed.

"What do you want?" You asked, not bothering to look at him. "I'm really not in the mood, so say it fast and get out."

"You need to promise me that you will fulfill it, no matter how difficult," he warned, and you groaned, rolling your eyes.

"Just spit it out Klaus," you said, glaring at him.

"Forgive yourself."

♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡

♡ @gorgeouslydangerous ♡ @starkleila ♡ @lydia1369sworld ♡ @notleylaaa ♡ @vampiresluv ♡ @vamprium ♡ @myanmy ♡ @xflowerbombxo ♡ @maryvibess ♡ @always-and-forever-daydreaming ♡ @criminallminds ♡ @theesexystallion ♡ @rosemarypotion ♡ @spnaquakindgdom ♡ @amournoir ♡ @loving-and-dreaming ♡ @meeom ♡ @damienmorton ♡ @wickedmuse ♡ @sunkissedebony97 ♡ @idk00sblog ♡ @savannaounana ♡ @cs-please

#elijah mikaelson #the originals #the vampire diaries #vampire diaries #tvdu #marcel gerard #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson imagine #elijah mikealson imagine #elijah mikealson #elijah mikaelson x reader #elijah mikealson x reader #tvd #the vampire diaries x you #the vampire diaries x reader #the vampire diares imagine #the vampire diaries imagine #the originals imagine #elijah mikaelson smut

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imaginespazzi · 2 months

Text

Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you

dude

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers

wow

fuck you

just landed

thought you might like to know

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess

September 2021

dude enough okay

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you

November 2021

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm

idk why i’m trying again

maybe i should block you

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige

merry christmas i guess

March 2022

i misz you

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich

pkese pick up

ignore that

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you

wait

i don’t need to tell you that

you already ignore it all anyways

August 2022

i heard about the acl

i’m sorry

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm

***

September 2022

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more.

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed.

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake.

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend.

“And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly.

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly.

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy.

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else. You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod.

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it.

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so, “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest.

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant.

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm.

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.”

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall.

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free.

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart.

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it.

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue.

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

***

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet.

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer.

“You wanna see my dorm?”

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice.

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air.

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack.

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile.

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things.

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts.

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin.

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it.

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force.

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having.

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself.

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat.

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy.

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour.

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other.

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus.

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk.

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes.

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.”

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that.

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together.

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts.

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard.

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking.

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane.

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously, “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches.

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid.

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost.

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,” Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be.

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps.

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on.

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears.

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back.

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore.

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need.

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something. It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi.

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step.

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile.

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her.

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.”

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen.

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her.

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that.

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?”

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her.

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away.

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again.

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?”

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch.

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people.

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige.

“You having fun?”

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch.

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface.

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together.

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste.

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths.

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety.

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back.

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall.

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that.

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly.

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable.

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing.

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed.

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it.

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.”

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it.

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear.

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most.

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck.

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s.

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up.

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance.

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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strangersteddierthings · 10 months

Text

What's Eight Plus Seven?

Part One🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five

Pizza order successfully placed, Steve dials Robin's number next. He doesn't need to talk long, just... hear her voice. Maybe get some verbal support.

"Buckley residence."

"Thank God it's you," Steve sighs in relief to hear Robin's voice on the other end. There was a little bit of dread that her mom might have answered and then he'd be stuck on the phone while she tried to chat with him.

"Whoa. Was hosting the nerdfest that bad?" Robin asks, laughter in her voice.

"Uhh," Steve starts, because he's eloquent like that.

"Oh no. Was is that bad? What happened?"

He feels a flood of warmth for Robin's immediate concern. "No, no, nerdfest was fine. I, uhh, mostly I'm calling because Eddie and I are gonna, like, hang out and talk and I just- I dunno. Wanted to hear your voice, first."

"Oh. Really? Well. Here's my voice. This is you hearing it."

He laughs at that. "Thanks. It's just, I think it's gonna be, like, a bathroom floor kind of conversation, except in my living room on a couch."

"Oh! I can be there in ten if you need me."

"Nah. This is just- me needing to hear your voice, and also a warning that I might have to crawl through your window and fall apart on your bed later. Just don't know how this is going to go."

"I'm here if you need me. Are you going to talk about Freshman First Day?"

"We, uhh, already did. Mostly. There's been apologies and now we're gonna talk. Get to know each other. Play 20 questions, I guess."

Robin laughs at that. "Alright. Ask him if he's ever going to get me the sandwich he owes me from back in November."

"What?"

"You know, his whole cafeteria speech thing? Stepped right on my ham and cheese. It did make him slip and almost brain himself, and he did apologize. Told me he owed me a new sandwich. I never got it. Ask for me."

"We'll see. Okay, I'm going to go but, thank you. Love you."

"Love you, too. Window will be ajar."

Steve hangs up, then opens the fridge. He debates grabbing them beers but opts for soda. Back in the living room Steve finds Eddie sitting like a normal person on the couch, one leg bouncing relentlessly. Even with his superficial knowledge of Eddie, he can tell he's nervous. Not nervous Eddie would be perched on the back of his couch, ruining the cushions with whatever junk is on the bottom of his shoes. Probably.

"Soda?" Steve offers, plopping himself on the other end of the couch, hand outstretched for Eddie to take the beverage.

"Thanks." The bouncing of Eddie's leg pauses for a moment while he's opening and chugging half the can in one swift motion, then the bouncing starts again.

"Hey, man, relax. You didn't seem nearly as nervous when you were trying to sneakily hang out earlier."

Eddie lets out a big sigh. "Yeah, well, I didn't know you hated me then."

"I don't hate you."

"Oh, shit, no. Not what- I meant, like, past tense. Hated as in, used to hate. Not present tense."

"Ah. Well, I don't think I 'hated as in used to hate' past, like, three months into my freshman year. This is going to be the most self-absorbed shit ever, but, like, once I became popular, I couldn't be bothered to hate you. Didn't have the time to put towards that."

"Oh, of that I've no doubt. That was absolutely the read everyone who tried to interact with you got."

Steve ducks his head to hide his own embarrassment by fiddling with the can in his hands. "I thought you wanted to do, like, 20 questions or something."

"Oh. Serious? You'll do it?"

"Yeah."

"Right then. What even are the rules for 20 questions? Is it 20 questions each, or in total asked?"

"I dunno, man. I don't think people actually keep track. I think we just ask questions until we're done with talking. I guess the rules are don't lie, and if you don't want to answer a question, then don't. Pass on it, or whatever."

Eddie nods but he's still nervous, leg still bouncing. A look on his face so close to fear it makes Steve ache a little. He knows too well what far looks like on Eddie, experienced a week's worth of it.

Steve can start. Ease them into this. "Do you got a favorite color?"

Eddie shifts then. Turns sideways on the couch to lean against the armrest and face him. "Wait. One more rule. No mocking answers. You may laugh once at an answer."

"If you are about to tell me it's hot pink, I cannot follow that rule."

"It's not hot pink. Jesus. It's, uhh, brown, actually," Eddie says, rolling his can between his hands. "It used to be red but. I dunno. When I think of red, now, I think of the sky in the upside down and how that was almost the last thing I ever saw. I think of blood, and bleeding out."

And here he thought he was easing them into this with the most basic of questions. Eddie's already being vulnerable. "Follow up question, if you'll allow it. Why brown?"

"What's wrong with brown?"

"Nothing. Just thought you'd pick black or something," Steve gestures to all of Eddie.

At that, Eddie looks down at his mostly black outfit, the only part of it with any color is the DIO album art on his shirt, then back up. "Fair point. I guess brown just makes me think of home. The wooden porch, the paneling, brown dirt road that leads to the trailer. It's also, like, a good eye color. Exhibit A," He waves his hand in front of his face, batting his eyes exaggeratedly. It pulls a laugh from Steve.

"I can't argue that," Steve waves towards his face, where his own eyes have been described by many a girl as ranging from hazel to honey, but Steve just thinks of them as brown. "Your turn, man."

"You, tragically, had never heard of Ozzy before we met. What's your music of choice, and why is it the Top 40?"

"Like everybody didn't hear you singing along to I Wanna Dance With Somebody last week when it came on the radio at the Byers' Barbecue-"

"Whitney is a national treasure and I will not be slandered for knowing the words to any of her songs."

"Yeah, yeah. I guess it was just the Top 40, but really I don't have a preference. I just let other people pick the music. And, uhh, with the multiple concussions I don't listen to as much music as I used to. The migraines are brutal. It's never the music that brings on the migraine but like, it never helps, y'know?"

Eddie is nodding. "I do know. Like when you get sick and vomit, you avoid the last thing you ate, even when it turns out to be the flu and not food poisoning. Like, you know it wasn't the mango milkshake that made you throw up, but you avoid the mango flavor anyway."

There's definitely a full story in that somewhere. Maybe Steve will ask about it later. "Kinda? I don't avoid music but I don't think I've put a record or cassette in the player in months. Anyway, my turn. How'd you learn to play the guitar?"

"Wayne. He started teaching me before I live with him. Just a few chords when we'd visit every so often when I was little. Really got to learn after he took me in. I was eleven, if memory serves."

"Am I allowed to ask about your parents?" Steve interrupts.

"Yeah. Speaking of parents," Eddie's nervous again, bouncing his leg.

"It's your turn. Ask."

"I know the high school reputation. Big house, no parents. I might have even snuck over a few times to sale here when I knew a party was happening. Rich kids will pay whatever price you name, y'know? So, guess the actual question is, what's the deal there, with your parents?"

Steve would laugh except he has no memory of ever seeing Eddie at his house prior to all the fuckery that's gone down. He was too in his own head to bother with other people back then. And the real kicker? He probably bought from Eddie, at his own house, with his supposed grudge and all. God, he was such a dick. "Yeah. Lots of business trips, for them. The used to ship me off to spend a month with my grandparents when I was little, so they could take those trips. Guess once I was old enough to watch after myself, those trips started to happen whenever, instead of just over summer."

"What, they left you here alone as a kid? Even during the school year?"

Eddie sounds so scandalized it'd be funny if it wasn't so sad. Steve says, "I wouldn't say kid. I was fourteen, so, like, a teenager. But, yeah, gone a lot. More and more with each passing year. I mean, they've been back, but like, for a day or two. Mom switching out what jewelry she wanted and dad bit by bit emptying his office." He pauses with a frown, remembering now the last time he did see his parents face to face. "It was about halfway through senior year. The last time they were here. They didn't even come to my graduation."

Eddie sucks in a breath and Steve can visibly see him hold back some choice words.

"Anyway, long sob story short, I'm still just a rich kid with absent parents. They don't charge me rent or anything, but I pay to keep the lights on."

"That just adds so many more questions to my list."

"Well, it's my turn now, so. What got you into Dungeons and Dragons?"

Eddie looks surprised, and then guilty. "I've always liked fantasy. And, uhh, my Freshman First Day, the DnD booth was set up in the cafeteria, an okayish looking dragon drawn on the poster taped to the booth's edge. And, uh, I approached..."

"No one told you to fuck off?"

"I didn't tell you to fuck off."

"Might've hurt less if you had," Steve hadn't even meant that to be insulting, or insinuating, but it doesn't land. He'd been aiming for teasing and missed the mark, given the way Eddie jerks back, like he's trying to put more distance between them. "Oh, shit, Eddie, I didn't mean- I was-"

The doorbell rings out and both jump, turning to the front door like it might bite them. The bell chimes again, and it's then Steve remembers he ordered pizza. Wordlessly Steve gets up and deals with that. Pays for the pizza and gives a tip, stops in the kitchen long enough to grab some napkins, then folds himself back onto the couch, placing the pizza box on the cushions between them.

The time away from the couch, less than three minutes in total, Steve thinks, was enough to calm Eddie again, since he starts the teasing, "greasy pizza box directly onto the cushions! That'll never come out you know."

Steve shrugs and grins, flipping the box open to grab a pizza slice. "That's a problem for Future Steve."

Eddie grabs his own slice, and they just eat their first slices in silence before Steve breaks that, "I really wasn't trying to- earlier, I was trying to joke. About Freshman First Day. Not, uh, not like, pick a fight. So, if you still want to talk, I think it's your turn to ask a question. Any question. A big question."

"Alright. A big one. Who is Christopher?"

"Okay. Uh, just, give me a moment. I'll answer and I'm gonna be real honest right now with you, so just let me get through this, ok?"

Eddie nods, reaching for a second slice of pizza.

Steve gathers his thoughts, and speaks. "Christopher was my cousin. His family lives in Washington, so I don't see them much. You know that 'shipped off to the grandparents' thing I told you about earlier? Christopher, and his younger siblings, Amber and Robert, also came out to visit.

"I think my grandparents loved to have us all there. My cousins were there for family time, and I was there to just... not be in my parent's way, I think, but the reason why doesn't matter. The important bit. Christopher was two years older than me, and I thought he was the coolest person in the world. I wanted to be just like him. That last summer we spent together, he told me all about the game of Dungeons and Dragons he'd played with his club at school.

"It made me want to play. I was a kid who loved fantasy, too. I had to pretend to leave that behind when I got into middle school; too afraid of disappointing my dad for still liking make believe. I didn't know at the time that making him proud was just something I'd never achieve.

"Anyway, Christopher introduced me to the game, told me the entire campaign they'd run at his school, and then sent me those books. He's the reason I was at the booth that day. If Christopher could play sports and be a nerd, maybe I could, too? But, uh, that didn't go how I planned in my head. And, then. Then," Steve stops here, a knot in his throat but his eyes dry. It's not that he doesn't still mourn the loss of Christopher, it's just that the tears have dried up long ago. "Christopher committed suicide, that year. Halfway through the school year. I think... I think even if I had joined your club, if you had let me take that flier, I would have dropped out after the funeral. I'd wanted to join so bad so that Christopher would be proud of me."

The room has lost focus, now. Steve is staring forward but he doesn't really see Eddie anymore. It's like he's fallen into his thoughts and nothing else exists anymore. "It's a bit fucked up, but being older than me, I think I looked for approval in him that I didn't find in my dad, or maybe I wanted to be him because his parents were so proud of everything he did and I wanted that. Approval. I- it's- I think I used to confuse the two. Approval and love. Maybe I still do? I dunno.

"I guess I just wrapped all that up, the need for approval, Christopher's suicide, my love for fantasy, and shoved it in the same bottle deep down that I kept my anger at you in," Steve blinks himself back into the present. Takes in Eddie's face, a mix of sad and fond, like he wants to wrap Steve in a hug. Steve would probably let him. "That wasn't fair to you. I'm sorry."

Eddie shakes his head no. "You don't have to apologize to me, Stevie. I get it. You wore your jockness that same way I wear The Freak. Like armor. You weren't wrong, earlier, when you said we were dumb kids who learned to lash out and hurt first, so we couldn't be hurt. I was fucking, no, I am still like that. I mean, I just lashed back out at you when all you did was point out how I'd acted to you."

"Yeah, well, life gives everyone a shit hand sometimes. I used to capitalize on that. Kick people when they were down. It's- it's humbling and, like, awful, to unpack that. I know I'm still working on it, but I didn't have to do it alone. Robin and Dustin have been there for me. Great. They call me on my bullshit and it's easier to take then, hearing it from people I know who care about me."

"Guess I better ask find someone to call me out then."

"Haven't you already?" Steve asks, gesturing to himself.

Eddie barks a laugh. "I- yeah, I guess. You sayin' you care, Harrington?"

"Of course I do, man. We wouldn't be doing this -talking about deep shit and getting pizza grease all over my couch- if I didn't."

He watches Eddie turn red, and hide behind his hair. "Could just be doing it for the kids."

"I could. Guess you'll have to trust I'm not. That I also want a do over."

Eddie shoots him a big smile, dimples on full display, and Steve's happy to let go of his grudge if it means Eddie will smile at him like that more.

((Looks like there's going to be one more part. Thought this would be the last one but the boys wouldn't cooperate so next part.))

#steddie #my fic #what's eight plus seven?#platonic stobin #Steve is a recovering rescue dog and Robin is his thunder blanket #dialogue heavy. like. so heavy #they're 'playing' 20 questions so like the whole fic is just talking

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talaok · 7 months

Note

Could you please write an imagine where Pedro and reader know each other for a very long time and reader comes from a not so happy family (unlike Pedro)

He’s in love with her and she does love him but does believe love is real or that relationships can last (thinking everyone only wants her for her body from past flings) and can’t give him a chance due to fear

Happy ending if you want

Thanks

warnings: angst, and brief talk about reader's bad childhood

a/n: im starting to honestly think yall should start writing fics, cause the shit you come up with is so good like

The first time you told him you were 13.

You had showed up at his doorsteps asking for a place to sleep.

You couldn't stand another minute of hearing your parents scream at each other two doors down.

They hadn't even noticed you were gone, they never did.

He was your only real friend at the time, and after a sort of awkward moment with his parents, he'd led you to his room and asked what had happened.

And that's the first time he heard the sentence he'd grow to hate.

"Love isn't real. It never lasts"

Your parents were the proof. Love is a trap, it deceives you into thinking you can spend your life with someone, when really, all you're doing is locking yourself into a cage, and when you finally realize what you've done, it will be too late, because then you'll be scared to get out, to start new, and that's why you'll stay, forever imprisoned because your own stupid choices.

From then on, it became your mantra.

With every guy who disappeared after having gotten you into bed, with every guy who dumped you as soon as they'd seen what's underneath your clothes, one sentence engraved itself in your mind.

Love isn't real. Love isn't real. Love isn't real.

And that's why, he, of all people, knew better than anyone why he shouldn't tell you, why he should continue pretending like he'd been doing for almost twenty years,

Maybe he was a masochist, or maybe his feelings were getting too strong and they had started to fog his brain, but he couldn't hold it in anymore, he'd kept it hidden for too long, and no matter how many women he'd meet there was always you in the back of his mind.

It had always been you.

And that's why tonight... tonight he had finally let go.

"Y/n, I love you"

He saw you freeze before his eyes, shocked and terrified of the words that had just come out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry" he murmured, swiping his sweaty hands on his jeans and looking around your living room to try and gather some composure. "I'm sorry to drop this on you like this. I know how you feel about the whole... love thing" he winced internally as his eyes set anywhere but on yours "And- and I don't want to ruin our friendship, and it's ok if you don't feel the same way, but..." He swallowed what felt like sand in his mouth as he finally looked into your eyes "Y/n I've felt this way for so fucking long" he breathed "I-I think I was too young to understand it when we met, but as we grew up it just became clearer and clearer and... and I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't keep it to myself anymore y/n, I'm sorry"

His words felt distant, muffled.

You felt like you were drowning and he was trying to talk to you from above the water.

He'd just told you the three words you dreaded most in the world, and now you didn't know what to do, or say, or even think.

And it wasn't the same as when any of your old boyfriends had said it, no, with him, with Pedro, those words scared you because they meant so much more,

because they reached into that deep, hidden part of you that... that felt the same way.

And that part of you was hidden for a reason, that part of you was the only thing that prevented you from becoming like your mom, from falling into the trap.

And now he'd just handed you the keys, and all you needed to do was decide to open the lock.

And you didn't know if you wanted to.

"I don't want to lose you y/n, the last thing I want is to lose you, you- you're the most important person in my life, I-I'd be lost without you, so if you don't feel the same way, it's fine, I promise it's fine, I can take it, but before you say anything I just want you to know that when I say I love you I mean it," Both your hearts were beating faster than they'd ever beaten before"I mean I love every single part of you, every single inch, that I love you when you sing off-tune and I love you when you call me in the middle of the night" he laughed "That- that I wake up and go to sleep thinking of you- that without you I wouldn't know how to breathe, that since I met you, I felt the need to become a better person so that maybe I'd deserve you." he said more softly now "And I'm sorry about your parents, and I'm sorry about everything that happened in your life, but I promise you that I'd never do anything to hurt you, that if you just give me a chance, I'll try my hardest to prove to you that love is real, that- that it can last if you just give it a try"

The soft roar of an engine made its way to your ears as a car drove by outside, the fabric of the couch felt itchy all of a sudden, and your breathing had become uneven.

You didn't know how long you both stayed silent, how long it took you to take in all he had just said, but when you finally opened your mouth, your voice didn't sound like your own.

"Pedro-" his eyes were filled with hope, but yours only with pain "Pedro you know how I feel about this" you murmured, like doctors did just as they delivered bad news "I'm sorry I- I can't do this, you know I can't... I just-" there was this feeling in your stomach, like all your organs were twisting, like your body was telling you you were making a mistake "I don't want to lose you, and I know that if we did... this, it would only end badly" you watched all the hope in his eyes crumble and you didn't think you'd ever hated yourself more than in that exact moment.

"I'm sorry Pedro," you said "I can't"

He didn't look like himself anymore, he didn't feel like it either. He felt as if all the life had left his body, and all that remained was a useless sack of skin.

But still, still, he couldn't help but realize that you hadn't said one thing, the one thing that was gonna make him give up forever.

"So you don't feel the same way?"

It wasn't tears threatening to spill from your eyes, it was liquid pain, liquid hatred for yourself.

"T-that doesn't matter"

He frowned, trying to come up with something to say that wouldn't make him sound any more pathetic than he already was.

"B-but it does y/n. it does"

You swallowed thickly "Pedro, please" you begged

"I need to know," he said with a thread of voice

"I-I can't" you murmured, as a tear finally stained your cheek "I..."

He took that as his answer.

You didn't love him, and deep down, he'd always known.

"I think-" he cleared his throat to try and gain some composure, "I think it's best if I go," he said as he stood up.

you didn't know if you nodded, you didn't know anything anymore

He glanced back at you for a moment to see if there was any sign of you wanting to stop him, but your head was down.

both of your hearts broke with each step he took, and as he got farther and farther, this... feeling spread inside your body, this presentiment of having just made the biggest mistake of your life sneaked up your throat and robbed you of all oxygen.

And was only when his fingers grabbed the doorknob, and you grasped his arm, that you could breathe again.

"y/n-" he tried to speak, but you needed to do this before your mind could catch up, so you cut him off.

"I do," you said, as more tears fell from your eyes "I love you, Pedro"

His mind was a mess and his heart was a mess but he still managed to spit out a sentence

"Y/n, if you're saying that just because-"

"Pedro" you softly placed your hands on each side of his head, as you huffed out a silly laugh "Just kiss me"

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sadquickchristmassnowman · 6 months

Note

hey so i’m new to the community fandom and i really love trobed. i was wondering what was your trobed centric episode masterlist like? or if it’s possible, is there a way to send me the post? sorry i’m new to tumblr so i’m still learning how this app works. if you see this, thanks :)

hi, welcome! I've found that community tumblr is probably my favorite fandom space I've ever been involved in, and I hope you've had a good experience so far. I totally get the New App Learning Curve thing, I'm historically very shit at learning how to use new apps, even though I'm "young" (20), but I eventually got it and you will too, Trust 👍👍👍

anyway, Yes one of the first things I did on here after joining was make a trobed-centric episode masterlist for someone who was asking lmfao. since it was one of the First things I did there's some formatting and other things I'd do differently now, and I've actually been looking for an excuse to go ahead and get that done, so. here we go.

the trobed-centric episode masterlist (revamped)

1x05: advanced criminal law

plot B

abed takes the "friends mess with each other" rule too far; he creates a whole fake language and spends a lot of money on trying to convince troy that he is an alien

"from now on, abed, friends don't mess with each other"

(this is the first time they do their signature handshake)

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic

1x10: environmental science

plot B

it's the "somewhere out there" episode what more do I need to say

3/5 gayness, something's happening fs

1x11: the politics of human sexuality

plot C

abed keeps beating troy in athletic competitions, making troy feel threatened. he eventually admits that abed is the better athlete and they make up

2/5 gayness, pretty platonic but it has its moments

1x22: the art of discourse

plot C

troy and abed work to complete abed's list of quintessential freshman year of college experiences list

2/5 gayness, they repeatedly put completing the list above looking cool in front of women

1x25: pascal's triangle revisited

plot C

troy is moving out of his dad's house and wants to move in with abed, but abed says no because he's afraid being that close and spending that much time together will result in constant annoyance, and will destroy their friendship

troy realizes that "too much of a good thing can be bad" and instead agrees to move in with pierce

1/5 gayness

2x02: accounting for lawyers

part of plot A

jeff gets sucked back into his old life as he reconnects with alan, a coworker from his old law firm. troy, abed, and annie try to gather proof that jeff's friend is the one who got him fired in the first place

more trobedison centric, and is actually the first episode where the three of them are established as a Trio™

"all I heard was suck" "YOU CHLOROFORMED THE JANITOR" "I usually have one foot out of reality and even I'm freaking out right now"

1/5 gayness, pretty platonic. they're the sillies ever I love trobedison

2x06: epidemiology

part of plot A

it's the zombie episode, come ON

trobed have coordinating costumes but troy bails during the party because he doesn't want to look lame and nerdy in front of women, which hurts abed's feelings

abed sacrifices himself to save troy once they are the last two standing during the "rabies pathogen" breakout

"I love you" "I know" (oh my GODDD sedate me)

5/5 gayness. you get it.

2x09: conspiracy theories and interior design

plot B

the original blanket fort 💯💯💯

2/5 gayness, just guys bein silly (and in love???)

2x15: early 21st century romanticism

plot B

troy and abed fall for the same girl and decide to take her to the valentine's dance together, after which she can decide which one of them she wants to date

she picks troy, but troy gets upset that she didn't pick abed (because why wouldn't she pick abed, he's so cool) and breaks it off almost immediately

I"happy valentine's day" "it is now"

5/5 gayness jesus christ this one is INSANE

2x18: custody law and eastern european diplomacy

plot B

britta likes troy and abed's new friend, lukka, who she finds out is a literal war criminal. she keeps this information from troy and abed because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship with him, but they find out eventually

2/5 gayness they're attached at the hip in this one

2x19: critical film studies

random moments

this episode is more focused on jeff and abed, but there's a lot of classic Troy Gets Jealous™ moments so I decided to include it. plus the end tag is them randomly having dinner together at the fancy restaurant (a date 😔)

basically troy is afraid that jeff is a cooler friend to abed than him

3/5 gayness even though they barely interact, troy is so silly

2x20: competitive wine tasting

part of plot B

I almost didn't include this one, and it's not even on my original list, but whatever

troy pretends to be traumatized, originally to seem less shallow in his acting class, but he keeps it going in order to attract britta. he tells abed about it and abed Does Not Like That At All

"troy. nothing good can come of this"

I wouldn't call abed being jealous a Rare Occurrence but he generally conceals it way better than troy does

2/5 gayness, could be interpreted as abed just worried about relationships forming under false pretense, but to Me he's jealous

2x22: applied anthropology and culinary arts

plot C

pierce buys the rights to troy and abed's handshake (a la Indecent Proposal) which "corrupts" it

"pierce tainted our special handshake with his blood money and now we can't get the magic baaaack :((((("

eventually they do indeed get the magic back

3/5 gayness idk there's something about the way they interact in this one that is inexplicably gay to me lmao

3x01: biology 101

plot C plus random moments

"speaking of figuring things out, me and abed have an announcement" "..." "troy and I are living together :D"

cougartown gets moved to midseason, then cougarton abbey ends after 6 episodes, abed's routine keeps getting thrown off, and troy is just extremely supportive and protective throughout

4/5 gayness troy loves him a lot!!!!!!

3x03: remedial chaos theory

random moments

(I know this ep is listed as 3x04 on streaming services but in canon it takes place here and on the dvds it's listed as 3x03. there's a joke about it in the episode too if you didn't know. anyway)

"troy and abed's new apartment!!!" "bienvenido a la casa chez trobed!" "wanna stay up all night talking in our bunk beds?"

all their pictures on the wall and their matching suits lol

the end tag "evil troy and evil abed" & troy's soft "what's wrong :("

3/5 gayness they're lowkey married your honor

3x05: horror fiction in seven spooky steps

random moments

troy's whole story he tells where they Literally become attached at the hip

"my partner"

troy dancing while abed's humming daybreak

2/5 gayness

3x06: advanced gay

plot B

troy deciding whether he wants to do plumbing or air conditioning and deciding all he really wants to do is watch tv with abed

gay symbolism? gay symbolism? gay symbolism?

4/5 gayness mostly for the conversation at the hawthorne wipes gathering. I could write an essay on just that

3x07: studies in modern movement

plot A

annie moves in with troy and abed. very trobedison centric

"kiss me woodsman troy!"

3/5 gayness once again casually in love they're soulmates your honor

3x09: foosball and nocturnal vigilantism

plot B

annie breaks abed's $200 special edition dark knight dvd set on accident, trobedison shenanigans ensue yippee!!!

"awww is that the grappling hook I got you for christmas???"

3/5 gayness for the same reasons as before

3x10: regional holiday music

part of plot A

literally putting this on here just because of the christmas infiltration rap (and baby boomer santa)

3/5 gayness it's glee club what can you do

3x11: contemporary impressionists

plot A

(once again, I know this episode is listed as 3x12 on streaming services, but in canon it's supposed to chronologically be here, and is listed as 3x11 on the dvds)

the study group helps abed pay off his debts to a celebrity impersonator website by playing characters at a bar mitzvah (after troy scolds them for trying to ground abed in reality)

they have an argument at the end ugh

3/5 gayness troy loves abed a lot and abed doesn't realize that he's doing something wrong

3x12: urban matrimony and the sandwich arts

plot C

(see the above disclaimer about episode order)

troy and abed decide to be normal for shirley's wedding rehearsal

troy and abed being normal 🤝

4/5 gayness they blow off a girl to be weird again

3x13: digital exploration of interior design

plot C

blanket fort: redux (oh god)

vice dean laybourne escalates what started as a minor disagreement in order to drive a wedge between troy and abed. it works

5/5 gayness, if a sitcom doesn't have the two codependent fanonical gays go through an unnecessarily dramatic "break up" then I don’t want it

3x14: pillows and blankets

plot A

🎶troy and abed are in conflict🎶 *cries*

pillow fort vs. blanket fort

they eventually make up but not before they hurt each others' feelings a Lot

5/5 gayness the dramatics jesus christ

3x16: virtual systems analysis

random moments

so this episode is more focused on abed and annie, and troy and abed actually don't Technically interact with each other very much at all, but. you know

abed kinda freaks out when troy and britta go on a date because it "messes with the fabric of the group" (🤨 I know what you are)

troy calls annie to "check on abed" boy you are on a date with a woman

4/5 gayness just from subtext you get it

3x17: basic lupine urology

random moments

troy and abed play detective as they try to figure out who sabotaged the group's biology project

"we can't both do the zinger"

4/5 gayness no explanation

3x19: curriculum unavailable

random moments

the study group is expelled from greendale and abed gets arrested for spying on campus, so he's supposed to have a psychological evaluation

troy is just very protective of him in this episode, plus the flashback clip where he and Annie are comforting him as he's freaking out about daylight savings

"our adventures are VERY manly"

4/5 gayness

3x21: the first chang dynasty

random moments

oof baboof with you two! (all the plumber shenanigans are hilarious)

mostly putting this one on here for the goodbye scene at the end of the episode, though. god

"he said, 'I know you hate when people do this in movies.' sorry I got emotional"

3x22: introduction to finality

plot B

abed "goes crazy" without troy (who's off at a/c repair school)

when troy comes back he prioritizes abed over britta (who he supposedly has romantic feelings for)

"I miss abed so much" "you're afraid you'll go crazy without troy"

4/5 gayness one could say they're a little codependent

4x03: conventions of space and time

plot A

troy gets jealous of (read: goes "psycho girlfriend on") abed's new inspector spacetime superfan friend toby

britta, even as troy's literal girlfriend, calls abed troy's boyfriend and supports troy through the whole thing

"for the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, I knew someone would come" let me just put my head through my wall really quick

5/5 gayness even though troy has a whole gf. that's how gay this episode is

4x11: basic human anatomy

plot A

troy and abed pretend to switch bodies, like in freaky friday, in order to help troy process his feelings about his relationship with britta

5/5 gayness holy SHIT y'all. I could write thousands of words on this episode. it is so hard to justify troy's actions in this one without reading him as a closeted gay person not lying

5x03: basic intergluteal numismatics

random moments

including this one because of how abed comforts troy and pushes him around in a wheelchair for the entire episode

3/5 gayness it's the casual married-ness again smh

5x04: cooperative polygraphy

random moments

this is another one I didn't include on my original list but I decided fuck it

the bit uncovering the actual origin of their patented handshake is so funny "I can't even look at you right now" "then you should know I'm crying"

also just the. look on abed's face when troy agrees to go on the trip at the end. "cool. cool cool cool." "that's a lie" UGHHHHH

4/5 gayness again. so typical

5x05: geothermal escapism

plot A

do I need to say a word

ouch ouch ouch OUCH

5/5 gayness especially the deleted dialogue from the last scene (I've posted it before but lmk if you don't know what I'm talking about. disclaimer it makes me want to launch myself off the empire state building)

alright. there it is folks. I was going to make another subsection of other random iconic trobed moments and cite the episodes they're from but basically every single episode has at least one, so that list would be Way too long to qualify as a supplement to this one lmao. however! if you have a Trobed Moment™ stuck in your head (or any Moment for that matter) and you can't remember which episode it's from feel free to ask me, I'm confident that my internal community database will be able to Remind You. anyway. hope this was helpful. bye

#did this instead of my heaps of missing homework assignments #I completely overbooked myself this semester but It's Fine haha #anyway #community #nbc community #community nbc #abed nadir #troy barnes #trobed #troy and abed #community tv #community encyclopedia

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bisonaari · 3 months

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So!! How is Finland going so far for me?

If you've talked to me in the past days you've probably heard all of this so I'm sorry in advance, you can skip the post hahaha !

First of all: the temperature is the same as in Canada HAHAHA. Sure it's currently a bit colder, but nothing that would be unusual in winter in Canada. So we've been perfectly ok with our usual winter clothes!

We had troubles locating our airbnb when we arrived. But we've been helped by @katinkulta and @taidotonheiluja and everything went ok in the end! I have to admit that because of the stress, the lack of sleep, the fact that I don't speak finnish and the travel time, the first two days I REALLY wanted to just go back home hahaha. But I'm better don't worry. I'm just an anxious bean

The day after that, I've been helped by Elsa again (my saviour) and she went grocery shopping with me and my partner, so we finally got food! (I don't eat a lot when I'm stressed, but my partner is, surprisingly enough, a normal human being who needs to eat. Weird)

Elsa is absolutely lovely and I really adore her company. She's as much fun as she is on the internet! A blessing to have her as a friend <3

The day after that was UMK! We met with Elsa again and with @teal-skull to have breakfast together before the rehearsal started. WHY IS EVERY MUTUAL I MEET SO FREAKING NICE??? This will apply to every single person mentionned in this post because everyone is a sweetheart seriously!

This is also the moment where I realized that I just could… throw a "puhutko englantia" when speaking to employees at stores YES I KNOW IT TOOK ME TWO DAYS BUT I AM VERY DUMB WHEN I'M ANXIOUS OK so I did that and WOW SURPRISE!! The employees said yes and switched to english!! INCREDIBLE, RIGHT. Urgh I'm so dumb hahaha

The UMK rehearsal was incredibly fun, I've seen almost all the artists that I wanted to see in Finland good I can now leave and never come back (that's a lie). But like KUUMAA, Benjamin, Käärijä (with JUKKA !!! ON STAGE!! IN FRONT OF ME), Erika Vikman, Pilvi Hämäläinen (she counts ok), and all the UMK contestants were people who I wanted to see live so bad, and now it's done I'm super happy. I've seen Cha Cha Cha live!!!!

After the rehearsal we met with @omppupiiras @formulalakana and @smimon to go get food together <3 What is funny is that no one knew what the others looked like, but I'm so easily recognisable that we were able to find each other anyway lol

I'm so thankful for everyone that I've met so far. Also other friends that manifested in dms to help me if I needed it! Like @because-its-eurovision for example <3

Some things that surprised my partner and I in Finland so far:

I've said it to a lot of people but the trains are so silent??? Like in Québec, you can hear the metro a few minutes before you can actually see it arrived. Here we've been JUMPSCARED by sudden trains we didn't hear arrive???

Dish drying cabinets my beloved. How did I live before you??? This is SO useful holy shit

The food is so expensive ;A; I was expecting it to be more expensive, but not by that much hahaha. I guess we're gonna eat a lot of pasta during our trip hahaha

I love how pedestrian friendly the city is (I've only been in Tampere so far). The sidewalks are double the size I'm used to in Montréal! You can walk to anywhere, there are tons of trams and buses, this is fantastic (I'm too anxious to take the tram and the bus though lol)

See you in a while for another update!!

#bison talks

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astaraels · 3 months

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You don’t get how bad I need your fem!gallavich headcanons 😭😭 (that being said pls - with no pressure - share some 🙏🙏🙏)

OKAY DON'T WORRY I'VE GOT A LOT OF THEM TO SHARE WITH YOU I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR SOME GOOD WLW FEM!GALLAVICH FEELS (these may be a little all over the place but just roll with me here okay? okay here we go)

to start with, Ian is a nickname for Lillian, Mickey is a nickname for Mykhaila (Ukrainian feminine form of Mikhailo)—they'd still go by Ian and Mickey, because if Lip can be a nickname for Phillip then all bets are fucking off :p

technically all of this started with my brain going "lesbian gallavich with hella self image issues" because they don't feel like they can measure up to their "prettier" sister (Mandy and Fiona) but both of them thinking the other is gorgeous as hell. Mickey being kind of a femme/butch (which is why she's the one who calls the shots with her brothers, she's the tomboy compared to Mandy), and Ian wanting to be all pretty and femme but doesn't think there's a point to it because money and also she doesn't think highly of herself

things would be way different for them both as lesbians—Ian would definitely still be the forgotten middle child, although she and Lip would still be Fiona's backup ("you two are my rocks") because I refuse to believe that girl Ian wouldn't be just as committed to ROTC and fitness as canon Ian. She'd be able to kick anyone's ass any day of the week. I think she'd really look up to Lip and ofc he'd love Ian as his little sister but like, with the same kind of condescending vibe he gives Fiona and Debbie? Although maybe since they're practically twins his misogyny toward Ian wouldn't be as blatant.

she'd still be taller than him (tallest Gallagher no matter what!) and have long red hair that she just throws back in a bun or ponytail all military style. I can't see her having short hair just because short cuts can be a lot to maintain, better just to let it grow and keep it pulled back. (I know, I've thought way too much about the little stuff lol)

Mickey would be very punk. With an undercut and all kinds of piercings. Mandy gets more attention from boys but Mickey does get her share, although of course she's like blegh. She'd rather be kicking ass and taking names and proving to her dad that she's just as good at being a fuckin Milkovich as Iggy and Colin—she's got more brains than both of them combined and she's smart as a whip when it comes to doing math, as well as where scamming people is concerned. Terry would begrudgingly acknowledge this but never misses a chance to put her down because she's just another dumb bitch. Only serves to make Mickey more determined to show what she can do, though, and her brothers and cousins are no match for her when it comes to scrappy back alley fighting. She climbed to the top of the heap early on and punches out anyone who tries to take her on.

Ian absolutely falls in the lesbian stereotype of wearing flannel constantly. I feel like she would want to do girly sorts of things but like, doesn't feel she'd measure up to Fiona or other girls so she just sticks with "comfortable" as her main fashion staple. Her and Debbie probably share a room too, although as I said above, she's still super close with Lip. Debbie would ADORE her big sister, would look up to and admire Ian because they've got so much in common—it might even be that she finds Ian's lesbian porn and that's how she knows about it ("penetration isn't required for sex to occur").

I'm not sure how they'd meet in this au but it would still probably involve Mickey chasing Ian around trying to beat her up lmao. my original thought was maybe like, either Mickey chased after Ian because of something Lip did in a reverse of canon, or Mandy thought Ian was talking shit about her. Regardless, the idea of 5'1" Mickey chasing after 5'9" Ian is hilarious especially because I feel like Ian would end up being almost six foot tall by the time she's done with puberty.

even once Ian and Mandy end up being bffs (there'd definitely be some miscommunication, but Ian doesn't wanna get murdered by the Milkovich siblings, so she manages to clear the air with Mandy when she can get away from Mickey and their brothers), Ian probably wouldn't tell Mandy she's gay, gotta keep that shit on lock. So once they're besties she's gotta endure all the boy talk and be like oh haha yeah totally…but at some point Mandy would figure it out, probably because she's not dumb and also Ian "play what cool" Gallagher is not as subtle as she thinks she is. But Mandy, other than asking if Ian has the hots for her ("you're beautiful, but I like you better as my friend"), is actually pretty chill and realizes she doesn't actually mind hanging out with a lesbo. Yes, Ian and Mandy and Mickey would use all the derogatory slurs that get used towards lesbians, although Ian is used to the casual homophobia and Mickey is the most homophobic gay ever (I feel like she'd definitely call herself a fag and a dyke once she gets more comfortable in her identity).

idk how the whole grooming thing with Kash and Ned would transfer over—maybe Ned would be some rich lesbian cougar who wants a kept girl or something. But that's unfortunately a big part of Ian's character, the middle kid who's the only one to be physically abused (and yeah, Frank would still hit Ian, boy or girl), and is desperate for any kind of affection so attaches to anyone who gives it. Kash might be a (seemingly) meek wife to some bruiser of a husband who's short and has small dog syndrome, and that makes her sympathetic in Ian's eyes, thus making it easier for her to take advantage of Ian. I try not to think about Kash too much but it is an important part of Ian's self-image

I'm gonna talk about s3 in its own post because I have some Thoughts and Ideas for some changes to make things interesting :p

season 4 would be really even more depressing because I think that when Ian is manic (there'd be no running away to the army because she couldn't use Lip's identity; instead she'd go straight her sugar mama and from there calls Monica when things get too wild) she'd end up getting pimped out by Monica to really gross straight dudes—not that there aren't creeper lesbians who like younger women, but in general it'd be easier for her to find a job stripping at a regular club (lesbian bars don't seem to have the same opportunities as a straight bar or a men's gay bar do wrt making money). Poor Lip and Debbie finding her in the skimpiest outfit, worse than anything Fiona ever had to wear for a job, with way too much makeup on and dollar bills tucked in her underwear, coked out as hell, skinny enough you can see her hipbones, brain and mouth going about 300 miles a minute...ugh.

But Mickey coming and bringing her home safe and sound <3 beating up the skeevy guys trying to roofie her <33 watching over Ian while she sleeps <333

In a happier train of thought, I love the idea that Mickey really likes Ian's long hair and plays with it when she's not really thinking and Ian gets all 😍😍😍 because it means Mickey might like her omg. Mickey has a partial undercut and Ian loves the texture of the shaved part of her hair. Tells her not to let it grow back out and everything.

Mickey having to stand on her tiptoes to kiss her stupidly tall gf ("You're too tall, Red" "Complain all you want, Mick, you know you like it”). Mickey likes getting manhandled but only by Ian—anyone else tries it and they're losing a hand. But Ian shoves her against a wall and does her whole cocky, smug, looming thing and Mickey can't help but melt in her arms (not that she'd let Ian know about it, not at first; gotta make Gallagher work for that shit. Just cause she's a fag doesn't mean that she's anyone's bitch!).

I also like to think that Ian would try the super femme thing in s4 era and Mickey, once out, would be a little more comfortable being more butch, but they both come off as a mix? I just love the idea of fem!gallavich playing with gender stuff in that very specific lesbian relationship with gender—on one of Mickey's more butch days Ian jokes and calling Mickey her boyfriend and Mickey being like oh

personally I feel like Mickey in her dyke era (s5) is an absolute pint-sized powerhouse, and still an absolute fashion icon because those cut-off vests? the tank tops? perfection🤌🏻

most of my thoughts are of early gallavich because I think things would go much differently since Sammi can't call the MPs on Ian in this au, but lemme just say that there's some fun stuff I'll be adding in another ask to add to the DRAMA

#gallavich #fem!gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless #leinth answers #rule 63 all the things

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punishedcrow · 6 months

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OKAY YALL MAJOR RESIDENT LOVER SPOILERS HERE IM THEORIZING

So far I've done the Cassandra, Donna and Bela routes. This order is important. I've started with Cassandra because I continued on my demo save and so far everything seemed normal with some hints of mystery here and there, but I didn't get too much out of the romance objective and yes I save scummed a lot so I know a little about Cassandra's bad ending, but haven't gone fully through with it, I've just had the scene with her where she's all creepy.

I knew I'd have to solve mysteries, but in a game where you start over and over again, how would the secrets I found matter? THATS WHERE DONNA'S PLAYTHROUGH COMES IN. AGAIN, MAJOR SPOILERS!!!

So her route was full of secrets I didn't pry on. I save scummed a couple times, but since I loved Donna so much, I didn't even go too much further to know what happened on the bad choices. Only on her playthrough, characters star mentioning "rounds" and "next time" and Donna talks about not letting this happen again. MC is really important to Mother Miranda and the whole purpose of the game is for you to find out why. I've found some stuff at Cassandra's playthrough by sneaking in the third floor, but that didn't give me much clues. On Donnas route I've looked at some stuff and went back to a save when she absolutely hated it, but it didn't trigger a "secret found" prompt.

Donna knows about Miranda's plans and her capabilities, but she seems to have some power too bc Miranda didn't pressure her as much as you'd think. Like she straight up fucking turns of Bela's heart with magic (I told you there's spoilers) as punishment, but she's just "boogey woogey imma scare you" with Donna. What is Donna capable of? I need to know, maybe on another playthrough with her where I snoop around and try as many options as possible? I need to know, specially because she knows.

And this is why the developers of this game are geniuses bc Dona FUCKING REMEMBERS MC. At Bela's playthrough, when you go to her flower shop, she blushes when greeting you. Donna does NOT act like that at first glance on her playthrough. And it happened right after, on this order. WHY THE HELL WOULD SHE ACT LIKE THAT IF SHE DIDN'T REMEMBER??? And it explains a lot why she was so jealous and possessive on her route. She knew she'd be seeing you with a bunch of other people over and over until eventually you came back to her (?). And also, even though Cassandra is flirty with everyone, she flirted with MC a lot at Donna's playthrough, when I still had a couple of Cassandra's saves registered. And at Bela's route, when I met Donna, I still had a couple of saves from the second playthrough. But none from Cassandra, since it had all been overwritten already and she didn't flirt with MC at all on Bela's playthrough, without her saves.

What I can deduce from the story I've seen so far is that the only Dimitrescu kid that has a hint of what's happening at this school is Bela, since she's been fucking cursed by Miranda. Donna knows because she's Miranda's "daughter" and Alcina's sister, who also knows about all the cult shit. But I cannot confirm if their remembrance is truly coded in the game. It probably is, because that is the point of this doki doki literature club time loop plotline. Like of course that's the plot line, come on, that's what's most fun about it.

Miranda wants something from MC, so imma leave her for last.

I've also noticed that Angie has been drinking more and more, specially on the third playthrough, after Donna, who's her aunt/mother. It almost felt like she was depressed everything was happening again and Donna would be depressed again (not the case apparently), so she got depressed too.

My game plan now is Dani, Angie, Alcina and Miranda. Let's see how this goes. After all that I'll mess around with Donna's route and others to see some bad endings with the creepy sprites like Cassandra covered in blood and zombie Bela killing my ass, that truly caught me off guard btw.

Oh and I'm really loving this game. The descriptions, the way it's written, it's all so well thought out to me. It's sensible, it's relatable, it's honestly quite captivating tbh. I love all those women and I don't feel like any of them are my super favorites, but maybe Donna bc I've always loved the character since I played RE Village. They're all so different and interesting that I like them all in different ways.

Honestly, I have no conclusion for this, but I know MC is important for some kind of ritual Miranda's cult is doing. What could it be? How does it connect to the time loop?

#resident lover #resident lover spoilers #SPOILER WARNING #3am posting #3am insanity #bastardcore #chaoscore #lesbian #maybe when im less sleepy i come bsck to conclude this #edit: i've come back and made this make more sense lol

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felice-jaganshi · 16 days

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My Fallen Apple

Chapter 13 (finale!)

It was a few more months before the wedding planning was done, and during that time, you got to know Alastor better. He wasn't really that bad except for when he felt the need to antagonize your fiancé. You and Zariah worked together to try and get the boys to act civil, with mild success. It seemed “teasing” was just one of Alastor's love languages.

Finally though, it was the wedding day. Angel Dust, the spider demon you'd gotten to know recently, was doing your makeup.

“So, ready to become a queen?” He asked.

“I don't know about ‘queen’… but I'm definitely ready to be his wife.” You look at yourself in the mirror and already the tears start to come.

“Hey! Hey! Nooo, nu uh! Hold off the waterworks till after the I Dos! At least let him see my hard work first!” He was grinning as he teased you.

Fizzarolli was holding your bouquet at the moment, making sure none of the flowers were wilted. He'd agreed to walk you down the aisle since your father wasn't an option.

Zariah was going over some last minute things on the phone with Vaggie, who was with Charlie, who was with Him . Your soon-to-be husband. “Do you need me to come over there?... How do you usually get her to stop crying?... Just put Charlie on the phone then!” She was laughing, it seemed Charlie couldn't stop from crying over how happy she was to get to see her father get married.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself. Your dress was an off the shoulder a-line with tulle sleeves. Your veil hangs behind as you stand from your chair. It has star and sun patterns with feathers on the edges in silver and gold. You look like a radiant goddess.

______

You were in front of the door leading out of the hotel. Nifty and Razzle were behind you ready to go as flower girls, and Alastor poked his head in, “You sure you want to marry the fool? You know Lilith isn't going to like this when she eventually comes home.” He was trying to stir shit up for fun, since he'd already taken care of the paparazzi and all the other “trouble makers”.

“I'm sure. And if she does show up, I'll kick her ass for hurting him! I'm ready.” You smile, “Thanks Al, I needed that.”

He hummed, “Good, you better keep your word on kicking her ass. He's counting on you.” He then popped back out and got the wedding march started. It was a slow piano version of “stand by you”. The song you sang to him just before he proposed.

Fizzarolli took your arm. “Here we go, try not to cry until the vows, okay?” You nod, buzzing in excitement. The doors opened, and you began to walk.

You see him at the end of the makeshift aisle. He looks stunning and stunned.

He's wearing a new white suit, one with what almost looks like a three tier skirt in the back. Like a combination wedding gown and suit. It's elegant and the back is open in a diamond pattern, showing the markings where his wings rest in his back. His hat is gone, replaced with a proper crown in its place. He doesn't look like himself really, far more serious than you've ever seen him… but the love in his eyes is the same as ever.

You begin to walk, Fizz keeping a hold on you to keep you from just running to him. When you get closer you can see tears in his eyes, and a tremble in his smile. Charlie stood beside him as his best man, and Asmodeus stood at the altar to act as your officiate.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite two souls in the firey, passionate bonds of Love and Marriage. And if anyone knows anything about love, it's the lord of Lust! Because while lust is fun for a while, love is the fuel that keeps that fire burning.” He looked at Fizz, sitting on your side of the aisle with a blush and a grin.

“Now, I'll stop my blubbering, and let you love birds say your vows, as I've been told our king has something special prepared.” Now everyone's attention was on Lucifer, as he took your hands.

“Becca, my sweet apple pie… before you literally fell into my life, I was a depressed wreck of a man. I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. It was bad, real bad. Like, days without eating bad. I never thought I'd love again, or that I'd ever be able to face my daughter in such a state. And there you were, in my garden. Then you treated me so gently and with such kindness, I thought at first maybe I was finally being forgiven for my sins… then I realized you were too good for me, but you kept coming back and bringing out the best in me. Because to you, Charlie and I have reconnected. Because to you, the Sins and I are back to being family again. Because of you, my life is better than it has been in over one thousand years. And I promise, for as long as I exist, I will give you all the love I have in my heart. I'll cherish and adore you for all of eternity. I give you my heart, as bruised and battered as it is… please be gentle with it.” He smiled fondly at you.

The tears fall without your consent. “Luci… babe…” He reaches out to dry your tears.

Ozzie smiled fondly, “Those were some beautiful words Luci. Now it's Becca's turn, you need a minute baby girl?”

You take Lucifer's hands that are holding your cheeks, and kiss the palm of each of them once. Then smile, “I'm good.”

“Lucifer… I know I wasn't meant to be in hell, but this has felt more like home than anywhere else in my life and afterlife. When we were alive, Zariah and I would joke about if we ended up in hell, I called dibs on marrying you. But now it's not a joke, but my greatest dream come true. I love you, more than any man I've ever loved. You've made me feel seen and appreciated and adored. You make me feel wanted and needed. And it's just as much what you don't do that makes me love you. You don't make me feel like your mother figure, and you don't make me feel exhausted from caring for you. I feel like your equal, and I feel energized lifting you up when you need it. Because you lift me up too. You'll never walk through hell alone, because I'm gonna stand by you every step of the way. I'll never leave you.”

Now it was his turn to cry, his eyes sparkling as rivers cascade down his cheeks.

“Alright baby! Now that's what I'm talking about!” Ozzie chuckled excitedly, “Becca, do you take Lucifer, the king of hell, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do.” Your voice is full of certainty and confidence.

“Lucifer, king of hell, lord of Pride. Do you take Becca to be your lawfully wedded wife and queen?”

“I do!” He's still sobbing as he says it, too excited to contain himself anymore.

“Then I pronounce you, Girlboss and Malewife! Haha, nah I'm playin’! I pronounce you Husband and Wife, now go on and kiss each other!” He smiled and Lucifer practically pounced at the opportunity to press his lips to yours.

The crowd was a combination of laughter and cheers, but you didn't care. You had a husband to smooch.

And to have and hold.

For the rest of eternity.

The End

______

(Bonus)

During the reception, the two of you sneak away while everyone's partying for some one on one time. Once alone on the hotel roof, Lucifer can't stop fidgeting….

“What's on your mind? Got something exciting planned for our wedding night you can't wait for?” You tease, sitting next to him.

“Hm? Oh, well, yeah, but… I also have something I wanted to run by you… so… you know normally once a human soul is dead, they can't have kids anymore? Well… I have the power to completely negate that rule. If I choose to. So… if you wanted… someday… maybe we could…” He looked at his hands as he fidgeted with his new ring. This one had your name engraved on the outside and inside.

“You… we could make Charlie a little sibling!” You realized what he was trying to say and tackled him! “Yes! Absolutely Luci! I'd love to! Let's… let's have a baby!”

The End (for real now)

#hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #fizzarozzie #fizzarolli #helluva boss ozzie #charlie morningstar #fallen apple #fallen angel #alastor's pet #alastor x oc

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agendabymooner · 11 months

Text

timezone || dr3 fic

daniel ricciardo x ofc (måneskin member!ofc)

Summary: Her life wasn’t normally like this, but Lester was more than willing to pack her shit and take the next flight to see her boyfriend if it meant for them to find solace in each other. OR no amount of talking could compare to the love shown in silence.

Content warning: Hurt/comfort, story was taken place after 2022 Abu Dhabi, they're really sad, mentions of Z*k Br*wn, mentions of isolation and lack of communication, awful grammar, but I've shed some tears, based on Måneskin's TIMEZONE. (I know little to zero things about Dan's houses, so I'm just putting random locations that can be convenient for his part- in this story, at least).

Note: Demon time!!! I wrote this yesterday and decided to cry a little while doing so. I have also read enough about what happened last year with... Z*k Brown and McLaren. I only put enough information into the storyline. I might also start making a masterlist but it'll be garbage. Anyway, have a good day lovies. Enjoy xx

Her life wasn’t normally like this. She lived for the energy that she could absorb from anyone. She’s known to be the only girl — a wild wild girl — of her band, she’s loud for a woman with a small figure.

She wasn’t normally like this. Yet she packed her bags quietly, all alone as she purchased a ticket for the next flight to Australia.

She didn’t care how much of a hole that ticket had burnt on her pocket. She paid double so she could be there for him as soon as possible.

She didn’t question his credibility as a boyfriend, didn’t ask herself if he had done the same for her or if he’d ever do the same because her brain could only handle one thing as of this point: Dan.

Their sour argument almost two weeks ago had taken a toll on her own sanity. Who would have thought that leaving a jacket on the couch would turn into an argument over their careers and their feelings? Definitely not them.

Their squabbling was often annoying, but they weren’t petty enough to stop talking. Even if she found herself mad because he really was an asshole, at least she found herself telling him that. But it’s different this time.

And the lack of words from either led them to the absence of their messy behaviour at Twitter. Neither party posted anything about their other half, and everyone wondered what had happened. No one got an answer besides the two.

She kept herself inside their flat in Milan and would come out whenever she needed to be at the studio to record their songs.

She found herself in his Lacoste polo—the sky blue in particular. It was an old shirt; she had kept it because he once said she wore it better. She found her arms wrapped around herself while she attempted to sleep and tried to imagine that her knee socks covered legs were tangled with his.

Her best friends had noticed how bad it was, but a simple request of “I need some space” was immediately fulfilled. They texted her daily and had gotten her involved in things but not to an extent where boundaries were crossed.

Her mind didn’t settle for the next 17 and a half hours of flight. Why did Australia have to be that far? It wasn’t like she’s complaining, she just wondered if there’s any better solution than 17 hours.

This wasn’t the first time she’ll be in Australia. The first time she went when their relationship began to bloom was her band’s spontaneous trip to the country. She could remember how excited he was when she told him about it.

It was a fresh relationship, but Dan already asked Lester to meet his family. It was a funny story to tell their kids. She was insistent on meeting them with him, seeing as he was in England for a meeting and his family lived in Australia.

Her friends came along to meet the family just in case “she needed a backup,” only for their presence to become useless. Dan’s family took her in almost immediately as if she was meant to be the bride for him. His niece and nephew were lovely, dragging her along with them as they insisted on playing with “‘Auntie Lolo,” a nickname that remained familiar still to this day.

His sister and brother-in-law appreciated the raw energy that Lester brought to Dan’s life. He wasn’t as wild as she was, yet she managed to help him get to her level.

His parents were ready to ask for a child, but she knew they refrained. She remembered being told they had been asking him about having a child or getting married. It wasn’t something to tell your future-in-law if you were meeting them for the first time.

But still, the first time she went to Australia for what was meant to be a spontaneous trip ended on a good note. It was almost like she already had a home to stay in.

The second time was when Dan finished his first year at McLaren. He wanted to celebrate Christmas with his family. But his celebration came with a surprise.

They didn’t even realize they had taken the fast lane in their relationship until she ended up in his secluded mansion.

He grinned at her flabbergasted expression as they entered the place.

She took her dear time looking around, alright. She scanned each detail that her brain could handle.

She remembered the slight dust on the picture frame she held in her hand. It wasn’t the dust that did it— it was their first decent photo. According to him, her grin was so infectious that his lips even had their own. Her legs were obviously crossed by his hips, and his hands were inches below her butt while their foreheads rested against each other.

She didn’t realize how many pictures he had of her— or them together— until she found the collage of their cutesy, sweet, and even unnerving photos hanging on his office wall.

Unlike the London flat they rented, this was something more comforting. She tried to make it homey and familiar in London with the beige velvet loveseat and the burnt orange throw blanket—their bulbs were smart lights that could be controlled to warm up the environment of the flat.

His house in Australia showed a different side of his life. She had always considered him someone who’d have sex by the windows of a top-floor penthouse. He’s the life of the party, for fucks sake. He always gave that vibe.

But it turned out that there was a massive difference between Daniel, who lived in the city, and Daniel, who had a mansion on a rather rural side of Perth. It was as if she found a different side of her as well. One would like to avoid cameras and allegations regarding substance abuse and cheating. She dreamt of being a successful musician, but her fame didn't mean much for the future she wanted to have with him. She found herself wanting this kind of life—she sought domesticity. This wasn’t her home. Just yet.

Only then, when she turned around, she witnessed his knowing smile resting across his face. She didn’t even live there, but he made her his home.

She must have dwelled on the past year so much that she had fallen asleep. She woke up when the plane moved with a thud, and the rolling of wheels became loud and annoying, indicating that they have landed on the airstrip. She was there.

But she had another flight to go to. And a thirty-minute ride.

Sure enough, four hours passed and she was buzzing herself in. She was glad she had written down the code for the gate. Otherwise she was fucked. She hadn’t been in this house as much considering that well… it’s not in Europe.

It’s extremely dangerous if Danny didn’t hear his gate opening from the intercom, she thought to herself. What if I was a killer?

She dragged her suitcase, her other hand shaking as she refrained from putting in the code for the front door. She breathed shakily. Her heart was beating fast, not knowing how to handle what would come. She wondered if she could just return to Italy and isolate herself again. She asked herself if her presence would have a purpose at all.

But she knew the reason why she stood at the porch with her knuckle gripping on her suitcase like her life depended on it. She knew why she paid twice the price just so she could take the next flight to another continent.

The termination of his contract with McLaren took a toll on him, and she knew why she had to be there for him. It wasn’t his fault that McLaren had a shitty chassis and engine that lowered his performance on the tracks. She had a lot of things to say about the matter, but it wasn’t as if she could simply do that. She could jeopardize her career, let alone his. But still, hearing the name Zak Brown made her want to rip her hair out and spew out the most colourful words possible. All she could do at this point was send out the comfort message and fly as soon as she could get her hands on a ticket.

Her anxiety feared that he didn’t mean what he said through his phone. That someone played a fucking prank on her. That he hadn’t needed her at all.

She stepped inside with a call, her hands immediately placed her worn out sneakers on the shoe rack and made her way to the bedroom upstairs, not even minding that her suitcase was still standing in the entryway. The melancholic atmosphere nearly cleared out as she made her way to the bedroom—one that Dan called “ours” on their first night there together.

Despite it being done temporarily, the melancholic nature had been cleared up as she swung the door open, finding him breathing quietly as he slept with his back facing the entrance.

She hadn’t even heard how he felt, yet she felt nothing but pain and sympathy. As if her body was his and his body was hers. She could feel his body and its scream for help. She could feel her own wanting to do the same, but instead she approached the side of her bed.

It didn’t take long for him to feel the warmth that she brought with her, his eyes opening as he sat up.

She hadn’t spoken, but her silence did the talking. The way she watched him as she handed him the glass of water from the nightstand, the way she ran her fingers through his unruly hair, the way she smiled ruefully while her thumbs wiped away the tears that nearly fell from his eyes. She spoke so much, but not with words.

She was frozen for a moment, not realizing that he, too, had wiped her tears away with a sob and chuckle. His large hands grabbed her head, and he kissed her on the temple. His arms swooped her and squeezed her tightly. His embrace was enough to leave her crying continuously. This time, Daniel couldn’t stop the tears from falling off.

“I’m here,” she straddled his lap as she rested her head against his neck. She held both of his hands tightly, squeezing them lightly as she reassured him, “I’m always here, mio caro.”

If she was ever asked about it, she’ll only blame it on the time zone difference. She’d say that she found solace in her boyfriend’s presence.

If Daniel Ricciardo was asked, he’d say that it’ll get better for him. He needed her to be home, and with her perched up on his lap, he couldn’t ask for anything more than her legs tangled up with his as they slept, silencing the demons they knew they’d be able to fight the next day.

Her life wasn’t normally like this. But even then, she trusted that she could get used to it if she spent the rest of her life with him. She wouldn’t mind even if the next few racing seasons would affect the difference between their time zones, as long as he’s there. Fighting alongside her.

#formula one fanfiction #formula one fic #formula one imagine #formula one smau #formula one x oc #red bull racing imagine #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo x ofc #dan ricciardo imagine #danny ric x reader #redbull daniel #daniel ricciardo #danny ric #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo x oc

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avatar-anna · 2 years

Text

Hookup Scene

youtube

This hookup scene, ain't all it's made out to be. You get your fill and leave empty, more lonely than before.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Hey, it's Y/n. Leave a message!"

Harry sighed and fell back against his bed, his arm draped over his eyes. Did he really just call his ex after someone left his house?

Yes, he did, but he had a good reason.

His reason was that being single sucked.

Harry had been single before, of course, and when he and Y/n broke up, he thought that was what he wanted again. They'd both agreed that they were growing apart and that things had become monotonous, so they went their separate ways.

At first, things were good. He felt free—he stayed out late without calling and letting anyone know when he'd be back, he didn't do the dishes right away, he didn't get dressed up to go out, he went out and flirted. He was a bachelor, he was living his life again.

And then by week three, he started regretting their mutual decision to break up.

Harry quickly realized that he liked being with someone else, living for and with someone else instead of living alone. He missed calling Y/n to tell her when he was going to be home late and sending her texts throughout the day. He missed cleaning up the kitchen with her after they finished a dinner they made together. He missed their late-night walks along the beach and how Y/n would straighten his collar or fix his tie whenever he decided to wear one.

This whole hookup scene wasn't at all what he wanted. He didn't want a new person waking up in his bed, nor did he want to wake up in one that wasn't his own. He wanted to be...domestic with someone. But not just anyone. He'd found his one.

Harry ended up not leaving a message, hanging up his phone and tossing it across his bed disappointed. He took out his journal where he kept all his songs, hoping that he could write some of his feelings down, that doing so would make him feel better or at the very least distract him.

Humming a melody, Harry wrote a couple of stray words down, ideas, maybe even a lyric or two. "You might not even know that you don't have it so bad," he mumbled, scribbling the words down.

Thirty minutes later, the whole thing was done. It was simple, short, and clearly expressed his current predicament.

"Fantastic. I'm fucking miserable."

Reaching over for his phone, he decided to call Y/n again. He expected her voicemail again, had even prepared a couple of excuses he could use when the beep sounded to leave a voicemail. What Harry had not been expecting was for Y/n to pick up this time.

"Hello?"

Harry panicked and hung up, throwing his phone across his bedroom.

"Fucking idiot. What were you thinking—"

His phone buzzed. Someone was calling him.

"Shit, shit, shit," he cursed, scrambling to grab his phone. Taking a quick breath, then another, he clicked the "Answer" button.

"Hello?"

"Harry?"

"Yeah, hey, Y/n."

"Hey. I thought you butt dialed, but I thought I would call you back just in case. How've you been?"

Even just hearing her voice made his heart flutter. Why the hell did he break up with her again? "I—I'm good. How—How are you?"

"Um...Good. Yeah. Yeah, I've been good. Work has been crazy, but, you know it's—"

"Do you know what's crazy?" Harry blurted.

Y/n paused whatever she'd been saying. "What's crazy, H?"

"I—I'm almost thirty years old."

"Ugh. Don't remind me. So am I," she replied with a laugh. Harry missed that laugh. He missed her.

"I'm almost thirty years old, and I haven't settled down with anyone yet. I want to settle, Y/n. Don't you want to settle?"

She didn't answer right away, and for a moment, Harry worried that she had settled down with someone else, just not with him.

He wasn't just in love with the idea of Y/n, or the kind of life they had together. He was still in love with her. He didn't want to have that kind of life with anyone else.

"What are you trying to say, Harry?"

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat. "I know we broke up, and I know it was mutual, but I'm miserable without you. Going on dates and putting myself out there and introducing myself over and over again is just—"

"Exhausting. I know," she said. "We had it pretty good, didn't we?"

"We did. Don't you want that again? I do. God, I want what we had again."

Maybe he was playing his cards too early, but he didn't care. It was now or never. She could say no, there was a very high chance that she would tell him to fuck off, but he didn't care. At least he tried.

"I mean we broke up for a reason. I don't think being lonely is a reason for us to get back together."

Harry felt his heart slowly shriveling up inside his chest, the hope that had slowly been building falling away like rose petals. "What if I said I still loved you?"

"Harry, come on, don't joke like that—"

"But it's true, Y/n, I swear!" Harry insisted. "Listen, I think we...grew too complacent, but I miss you, Y/n. I miss us. I'm sick of being single, I'm sick of coming home to an empty house. I want to come home to you."

"I—I didn't know you felt that way," Y/n said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Could we at least talk about this over coffee or something? Or even just to catch up," he said. Harry knew he probably sounded like a lovesick loser, but he couldn't help it. If the shoe fits, he thought.

"Yeah. I think that would be nice," Y/n eventually said.

Harry's heart skipped a beat. He expressed his feelings, but he never actually thought anything would come of it. He figured he would just make a fool of himself (check), tell Y/n how he felt (check), get rejected (jury was still out), and continue being miserable and single. Now he wasn't so sure.

"Really?"

"Sure. It would be nice to catch up and...talk about...things."

A smile broke out on Harry's face. She said yes, she actually said yes. Y/n might've been on the fence about getting back together, but Harry had never been more sure of anything in his life. They'd had something special, and maybe they'd grown apart, but now that he'd lived without her, he didn't want to anymore.

"Does Thursday work for you?" Harry asked. He didn't want to come off too strong. Well, stronger than he already had.

"Mm, that might be too far away from now. How does tomorrow sound?"

"That—That's great," he said quickly.

"Perfect. I'll see you then," she said. "And Harry?"

"Yes?" he said, perhaps a little too quickly.

"I've missed you too."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic #Youtube

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meetmyothersouls · 9 months

Note

Back to u 4 tonight ?

I have worked my ass off on this so I really hope you guys love it!

Back To You

Jonah Hauer-King x reader

Warnings: memory loss, being drunk, throwing up, not proof read

Chapter 4

Jonah's POV

I sit in the library, leaning against my desk. I'm lost in thought, many of them. One of which is the information Jorge just threw at me. I scoff out loud even though no one is around to hear it. The idea of him taking y/n from me is so disgusting to me, it makes me sick to my stomach. I let him walk away unscathed only because I don't want y/n's new opinion of me to turn into a negative one.

Y/n. Then my thoughts go to her. I'm suddenly overwhelmed with a mixture of sadness, longing and love for her. I want our old life back so badly it hurts. I look around the library. It was her favorite room. One, because of all the books. I used to joke that she loved the books in this room more than me. Two, because of all the times we made love in here. I believe there's not one surface left untouched by-

A soft tap on the door brings me out of my daydream. I stand up straight, no longer leaning on my desk. It's Haven.

"Sorry, I was just looking for y/n."

"She's not with you?" I ask, immediately worried.

"No...I thought she was with you."

"Shit," I mutter under my breath. "Well, she's gotta be somewhere in the house. She doesn't know how to get anywhere else," I say, mostly to calm myself down.

Haven and I make our way down the hall, she's not too familiar with the layout of our house either, so she checks the downstairs amongst the guests Val invited, while I check the other two floors of our house. I wait and save my panic for when I'm totally out of sight. I check her room first, then the nursery; the two rooms I know y/n has seen with her own eyes. When those turn up empty, I scour the rest of the house. By the end of my search, I'm flying down the stairs and practically knock Haven over when I reach the bottom floor.

"No luck?" I ask breathless.

"No, but someone mentioned they saw her heading out with Val. Any thoughts on where they could be?"

I groan out loud, "I have an idea or two."

Y/n's POV

I'm downing my fifth shot, Val, Jorge, and several other people I don't know are chanting my name. I've never been much of a drinker, but according to Val, her and I go out and have drinks all the time. She shows me my favorite shots and drinks that we used to get together all the time and, to my surprise, I really like them. I apparently, lean towards the fruity ones with pineapple and strawberry purees. The shots are very bitter and nasty, but they burn going down which I kind of like.

"Okayyyy," I half yell/half slur. "Okay! I think I'm done."

Jorge and Val are talking, deep in conversation with one another and all of a sudden everyone is way too fucking close to me. The room is spinning and my heart is racing. It's too hot, my clothes are too tight, and I'm in England. I run out of the pub and the cool, now almost evening air hits me.

"I'mjustgonnagoonawalk," I call out to Val as the door to the pub swings shut. I wave to her as I turn the corner. I have no idea where I'm going and it's clear to me in my mind, but it doesn't stop me from walking on. The last...how many days has it been? Has been a whirlwind of emotions and information. I'm married, I was pregnant, I live in England and write for an apparently very prestigious magazine according to Val. For some reason the married thing and the pregnant thing have me laughing. I poke at my stomach. It's a little flabby and the tiniest bit sore, it's evident that something was there. That's when I notice that I'm not even wearing a wedding ring. I immediately feel kind of bad because of it. Jonah really is a nice guy and he clearly cares about me. And...I mean...he's very easy on the eyes. He's got the prettiest slightly curly hair, the bluest eyes I've ever seen. His skin is like this permanent sun kissed color that just occurs naturally. I start to wonder what his hands would feel like on my body and I'm reminded about how he grabbed the small of my back on the stairs today. I giggle out loud and have to grab a streetlamp post to steady myself. I look up and I laugh even harder, because I see him walking right toward me. I point to him and wave. Then he sees me, and he starts running. I'm almost on my knees by the time he gets to me. Jonah grabs me and pulls me against him.

"Thank god," he says breathlessly.

"You are real!" I giggle.

"What?"

"Wot?" I imitate his adorable British accent.

"My god, y/n are you drunk?!"

"Yes, Jonah, it appears thatIam. Val and Jorge introduced me to some verygood drinks."

"Jorge?"

"Mhmm. Jorge." I start to walk and Jonah follows. I feel a bit better about walking now, since he at least knows where we're going.

"He didn't...try anything did he?"

"Pffft."

"Y/n, I'm serious."

"Me too. I wouldn't have let him anyway. You're way hotter than he is." I'm a few steps ahead of him and I start to cross the street.

"Whoa!" Jonah yells as he pulls my wrist. My back is against him now and I'm very aware of how his body feels pressed up against mine. I make an effort to press harder against him, and if he notices he doesn't let on, but I wish he did. "Y/n, you can't just walk into oncoming traffic, Darling."

"Darling?" I look up at him, but he's looking forward, his eyes focused on the crosswalk, but he's got the slightest smile on his face.

Jonah's hand is resting on my lower abdomen, holding me protectively. It gives me a flutter in my stomach that I'd normally try to push away, but don't have the mental capacity to right now. He waits for the cross walk to change and when it does, he moves his hand. That's when I grab it and run across the street. We bump into a couple that's walking our direction and I accidentally knock the woman's coffee out of her hands.

"Sorry, I'm so sorry!" Jonah calls over his shoulder as I pull him along.

I'm doubled over in laughter as we make it to the sidewalk while Jonah stands next to me, his hands on his hips in disbelief. His mouth hangs open adorably, as he looks at me like he's seeing me for the first time. Then he's laughing. Hard. It's the happiest I've seen him look since I woke up in that hospital room a few weeks ago.

"You're really a piece of work, you know that?" Jonah says.

"Oooooh, is that a park? Come on!" I take off again, dodging couples and dog walkers and people on mopeds and bikes. Then, I'm on grass it's slightly damp and I feel it through my canvas shoes. It reminds me of the parks in New York. In the distance there's a pond with a fountain in the middle and several swans swimming against a sunset. It looks like a painting.

Jonah finally catches up, his hands on his knees as he catches his breath. "Where is everyone?" I ask.

"Huh?"

"There's not a lot of people here."

"Ah, yes. They're all at home, most likely."

I'm so focused on the scenery in front of me I don't even look at Jonah. "But it's so beautiful."

"Yes. You are."

"What?"

Jonah's staring right at me when I whip my head around. He clears his throat and looks off into the distance. "Yes it is. You know it's funny you came here."

"Why's that?"

"Well," Jonah says, as he begins to walk, "this is where you like to come when you need inspiration for writing. Sometimes I'll find you here laid out on a blanket with a book or a laptop. One time, ahh maybe two years ago, I couldn't find you anywhere. You left your cell at home, I checked every bookstore in London and you were nowhere to be found. I was about to call the police, when I drove past the park and saw a tiiiiny figure way out in the middle of the field."

"Was it me?"

"Mhm. It was. You came out here to read and guess what you did?"

"What?"

"You fell asleep!"

"No way!"

"Yes! You had me worried sick," Jonah laughs. He's still looking out into the distance like he can see the memory in the skyline. And suddenly I feel terrible. I feel dizzy and lightheaded and sick to my stomach. Maybe it's all the alcohol or maybe it's because he clearly loves me so much and I can't recall all those feelings myself.

"You okay?" Jonah asks when he finally looks at me.

"Y-yeah, just need to sit down."

Jonah grabs my hand and leads me to one of the park benches. We sit down and my nausea calms down slightly.

"Jonah?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry." I turn to face him and my breath hitches in my throat. His face is close to mine, much like when we were on the staircase today. He's so beautiful up close I just want to touch his face.

"What for?" Jonah whispers.

"For not being what I was before."

"You're still my y/n, memories or not. You're mine and I'm yours."

"But...but how could you still like me the same knowing I don't have the memories you do or..."

"Y/n, you are my wife. I love you. I'm sorry if that overwhelms you. You don't have to say it. I know you don't love me. Why would you? You don't know me. But I've got a month to make you fall in love with me again and I'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. And even if you never love me again," he swallows hard, and I can feel his breath on my lips as he sighs. His face is so close to mine. He licks his lips and I can't help but lean in. I press my lips against his. He kisses me back softly then pulls away, just as I expect him to.

"Y/n, I'm sorry I just...I want you to be in the right state of mind before I kiss you and-"

Jonah doesn't finish his sentence before I'm throwing up on the ground in front of us.

"Your shoes!"

"It's okay, don't worry about them," Jonah says as he's pulling my hair back. I throw up again and again until my vision goes out and I lose everything around me.

I wake up and it's daylight, but it must be early. I'm wearing new clothes, which is just and oversized t-shirt, and my shoes are off. I'm in the same bed that I slept in the night before. The room is filled with that early morning bluish hue. It's making the room feel cozy and soft and cool.

I sit up in the bed, still no memories...other than kissing Jonah, him rejecting me and then throwing up all over his shoes. I groan and run my hand down my face just as the bathroom door opens and Jonah walks out wearing only a towel around his waist, his hair and body are wet from the shower he must have just taken.

And suddenly I'm filled with even more regret than before.

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#Jonah hauer king #Jonah hauer-king #jonah hauer king x reader #jonah hauer king gifs #jonah hauer king fan fiction #jonah hauer king imagine #back to you #my writing #fan fiction #imagines

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