#IF THATS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO THATS THEIR DECISION BUT THEIR COMICS WILL SUFFER BECAUSE OF IT | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amelie701 · 2 years

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There’s something about endings that I can’t really define.

I just finished a short story. It was a sweet one, without hanging plots or eye-catching drama. It was a happy slice of life, two people happening upon each other and letting the world around them draw them together. It was sweet, I know I’ve said this already, but I can’t help the fact that this distinction won’t leave my brain. Because if it was so sweet, why does my chest feel empty? Why does it ache? What is it so hollow I can hear my heart screaming at me from another empty cavity to fix what I’ve just somehow managed to break?

It isn’t just the sweet ones. It never is no matter how much I fucking wish that were the case.

Sometimes it’s the action-packed ones. The one with so much blood and violence and anger that I’m always inclined to ask after the author but never do (it’d be rude of me to think the pieces were projecting anything just because my own works often suffered the fate). Sometimes it’s the scary ones, the ones where a good ending is uncertain, if not near impossible to expect. There aren’t many of those that I’ll read, but whenever I brave them I always hold out hope I’m too freaked out to feel the cracks reforming over where they always managed to heal over. The sentiment never gets me far.

Sometimes— sometimes it’s the painful ones. The tragedies. The ones that end in bittersweet or frustrated tears. Those feel almost justifiable, the growing pain behind my eyelids and my chest more easily explainable behind all the trauma I’ve just forced myself to ingest. But still, I find myself declining so rapidly after just about every story I complete. Every series or movie. Every comic or event. Every fucking piece of vaguely final sounding music I have ever heard. It feels a little like losing parts of myself I hadn’t realized existed.

I guess I recognize it is likely some combination of attachment and investment. That I easily connect with what’s in front of me and spend a large sum of time immersing myself in it that when it’s taken from me, I lose a part I hadn’t realized existed (because it hadn’t existed before I began what last piece of content had so wholly captured my spirit).

But it feels like more than that too.

Here’s something I learned early in life: We aren’t eternal. We’re put on this earth for a short amount of time before we leave it. Most of us won’t leave a large impression, others will. In the end, we’ll be forgotten. Because we’re a speck in the great cosmos or whatever existential bullshit or what have you. We’re inconsequential. We’re so horrifyingly fucking finite. And there isn’t some new story to find, some game level to restart to find a different path. There isn’t a reset or a try again button. Once it’s done it’s done.

We aren’t eternal. But I’ve been so conditioned by handheld perpetuity that I forget sometimes that it’s too late for me to go back a few levels in decisions and choose medical school instead. I forget that I can’t reread a chapter thats ended in my life because time doesn’t really work that way. I forget that there aren’t one hundred different versions of me that have lived and would get to live one hundred different lives. I forget that I’m just a person who’s lost their hope in eternity. In being anything more then a sad, angry, scared blip on the ever changing track of existence.

I so desperately want to pin down endings for myself. To give them some quantifiable weight that I can measure against the pressure in my head and arms and chest when I dissociate into a mindless heap at the sparse, but oh so encompassing, thoughts of finality. Maybe that’ll help me come to terms with my mortality a bit. Maybe I won’t cry myself to sleep wondering why I would never get to see the future, be that one tinged in the light of innovation or certain upheaval. Or wishing I could gaze into the past and climb the pyramid of Giza when it’s golden top still adorned it like a crown. Or becoming desperately hopeless in my realization that no, I wasn’t the “main character.” Or A character. Or a member of the background cast. Fuck, I’m not even in the audience. I was never written into the narrative because there isn’t one. There isn’t and as simple of a concept that must be for others, for someone who grew up consuming books like water I feel listless at the realization, even 6 years later. I would not be remembered, and if I would be, then not for very long. Not long enough for my name to see a future I would not get to explore with my own eyes.

I so desperately wish it were only the sweet ones that made me feel so hollow, but all endings did. All endings do and will probably continue to do so.

And, in a brilliant stroke of cruel irony, that’s the one thing I can’t forsee the end of ever coming to fruition. Not while endings, in whatever form they exist, render me so conscious of what I’ll be losing, what I’ve lost, and what I’ll never even get the chance to lose.

#personal vent #existential thoughts

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out-of-context-batfam · 4 years

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Batman and The Outsiders #17

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pizzaboat · 3 years

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So I've seen alot of people give their theory's and opinions on what's going to happen to Lilith in season 2 of the owl house, whether or not she's forgiven, where she's going to stay and how she'll act I guess, and the major thing being if she's redeemed or how redeemed she is.

I'm just going to throw my own thoughts out there and say that obviously there's still alot to do with her character. I also have no intention of bashing her character, I actually enjoy when she's on screen. I do like her but she's still problematic. So buckle up this is a long one.

To get my thoughts straight I'll break what I have to say down into parts, cause I get distracted easily.

First up im going to say I think she is far from redeemed. My impression of her is that she regrets cursing her sister, but she also finds some sort of sick pride in it too, as shown in agony of a witch when she screams " then why were you so easy to curse!?".

She also has no problem hurting literal children to get what she wants either, but that's another issue I'll discuse.

Lilith seems to resent her younger sister to an extreme, unhealthy degree. I could sit here and theorise about her child-hood and teen years wondering what could have created such insecurities in her, but im not going to. That is irrelevant to the point im trying to make. What's important to keep in mind though is that she was "perfect prissy Lilith"- the covention growing up, Eda was good at almost everything, and that Lilith cursed Eda to secure a spot in the emperors coven when Lilith was 18-19 and Eda was 16-17.

Is she redeemed ?

No i don't think she is even half way there. She cursed Eda in her sleep to win a fight. Lied for over thirty years to Eda about that curse. Mocked Eda for the symptoms of a curse she put on her "Why don't you go home and rest wouldn't want you breaking hip"- sense and insensitivity . she kidnapped Luz to use her against her sister, used Luz as a human meat shield in her and Eda's battle during agony of a witch, was generally quite rude to Luz when she wasn't dangling her over a pit of spikes, and also SPIKES.

Taking on half of a curse she put on her sister in the first place doesn't begin to cover the trauma and pain she's caused in the name of healing her sister, enforcing the emperors laws and joining said emperors coven.

I would also like to point out that she had a way to elevate her sisters pain all this time but she didn't. I've seen arguments like she trusted the emperor to heal her sister but I can already point out so many things wrong with that.

even if she did trust him, no normal person could sit by and watch any family member they claim to care about suffer, if she trusted the emperor so much she would have split the curse sooner, (providing Eda would have let her of course) and had him heal her or Eda both.

But she didn't do that she lied to her sister for years, partly because she was scared of losing Eda and also Eda's reaction which was, and would always be unbridalled rage. but also to an extent it suited her, it suited her to be the successful sibling, the sibling doing things "right" Lilith seems to be as I said before extremely insecure, and I think that just going off the episodes she was in and the impression the show puts forward.

If what I've noticed is correct, Lilith has spent her life in her sisters shadow, bullied in school as revealed in the end of something ventured something framed, nobody took her seriously due to her appearance and probably being a late bloomer in a lot of ways. She would have jumped at the chance to be given the same respect that Eda and other talented witches or well off, higher up witches recieved.

In other words the emperors coven fed Liliths' battered ego, telling her what she wanted to hear.

It makes sense that she wouldn't want to let that go, but in the context of what has happened and the fact she seemed to still try and stick with the emperors coven before Belos sent her to be executed along with eda and king.

She isn't redeemed, she probably doesn't see much wrong with how she's behaved up until now(besides cursing Eda) and there's still alot of work for her to do. She only split half the curse because her expulsion from the coven forced her to address a mistake she made for once.

Season 2 and maybe more seasons looks like where she'll be earning her redemption. Hopefully she'll be forced to face more of her flaws and short comings and work on them.

Will she be forgiven?

Lilith from what has been shown has hurt;

Eda Luz, King, Amity, Willow and Gus. They all have different reasons to be hostile towards her.

Eda

She cursed Eda and almost subjected her to a faith worse than death, lied to her, mocked her. Kidnapped her apprentice and almost got Luz killed a number of times,using her as a sheild. She dragged Luz into the whole messed up rivalry. I don't think Eda will forgive her emediatly, after all, even if she can forgive Lilith for what she did to her, she would also have to forgive her for what she did to Luz.

She essentially kidnapped Edas' surrogate daughter, Eda was much angrier about Luz's suffering than her own "you hurt luz, you cursed me. before anything turns me to stone I'm going to tear you apart!" - young blood, old souls

Yeah Eda was fit to murder her sister, taking some of the curse probably only got rid of her homicidal desire towards Lilith, thats it.

Luz

I've seen some people make fan content in which Luz immediately forgives Lilith or comes round eventually to her when Lilith acts nice around the house.

That seems super out of character for Luz, sure Luz is characterised to be kind and sweet but if the final proves anything its that she has a ruthless streak that comes out when she tries to protect the people she loves, her family. Lilith has threatened the people she cares about. I don't see Luz letting that slide, and she would probably still be on guard. Luz may have accepted her help in young blood old souls, but that was only because she wanted to save Eda she told Lilith she didn't like her "whole deal" and she meant it.

Lilith would have to prove she's really changed for the better for luz to begin to for give her.

King

I like the idea of King and Lilith becoming friends simply for comedy perposes, if King were to forgive her and I think he'd be one of the closest to it out of the main characters.

They'd be a force of sheer stupidity and ego they'd be bad and good for each other, King weirdly enough would be more emotionally mature since he's learned things like you can't be posesive over people in really small problems it's a lesson Lilith needs to learn since she seems to resent Luz to an extent, thinking Luz was taking her sister from her "Edalyn is with her family, her real family. Go back to your world human this one is ours" - agony of a witch

Of course before this she needs to also earn his forgiveness, he wasn't there for agony of a witch but he did experience the fear and worry of losing eda in young blood, old souls the only person he had up until then was Eda " King and I, we don't have much in this world. we only have each other"- A lying witch and a Warden. Lilith helping rescue Eda might have helped improve his opinion of her, but Lilith would have to get over herself first to begin her redemption.

Hooty

I don't think Hooty would hold a grudge, mostly because he's comic relief and weird. Since I personally think no one in the owl house would be bothering with her, and I see her being forced to live In the shed. I think Hooty would be her only company and I think it would be unexpected and really funny if he's the first person/bird thing to open her eyes to her awful behaviour. You gotta start somewhere and Hooty is it.

Amity, Gus and Willow

I think Gus and Willow will be stand-offish until Luz and King forgive Lilith.

Once Lilith has developed more as a person she owes Amity an apology for how she behaved as a teacher. Amity would be mad after the covention episode, but almost killing her crush would make her protective of Luz, and wary of her in general.

Conclusion

Lilith hasn't been redeemed in my opinion, there's still alot of growth she needs to go through, she's made alot of terrible mistakes and decisions, its what makes her so interesting. I like her but she's a sh*t person, but she can learn to be less of a sh*t person.

I'm aware this is a kids show and she probably won't get all this development or she could get different character development and that would be awesome, its just my thoughts and opinions and I'm really excited for season 2.

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ask-the-six-human-souls · 3 years

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Don't worry, we get it. With that said, how were Frisk, Papyrus and Undyne going to find the parents of each soul and what was going to happen to them, especially when they were given the objects of the souls?

((Just a disclaimer! This post is probably gonna get pretty long...

•••

Anyway! So, first we'll start off with how Frisk and the gang were going about finding the soul's homes and their parents...

Frisk was the second character to be poofed into the Void (the first being Flowey), and while they were here, I started getting the idea to make the comic since I thought it'd be a neat concept to have Frisk return all the humans belongings to their family!

If you've read the start of Returning The Memories, Frisk looks at this paper for reference a lot. This is because, while they were in the Void, they had asked all the souls either what their home addresses were, or, where they most likely would expect their parents to be. (As you can see, Kaden's has question marks on it...we'll get to that later!)

This is how Frisk knows where the soul's homes are, and what their parent's names are as well. So, all they needed was transportation, which is why Undyne and Papyrus came with them! And, also, Undyne and Papyrus may have helped lighten the mood some, since...this comic was certainly going to have some sad moments ;n;

Anyway, now for how Frisk went about addressing the soul's parents about the sad news/the parents reactions...

•••

Pate's mother's reaction 🎀🗡:

[See these pages of the comic: PG2 PG3 PG4]

Thankfully, Pate's section of the comic was one (and the only one) of the sections I managed to finish! But, I'll summarize Melissa's reaction here, as well:

She felt terribly guilty for how badly she had treated her daughter during the time she was alive...She often criticized Pate about how she looked, or what clothes she wore, and not only that, but Melissa would often ignore Pate because of work, and, well...dates. She also wasn't aware of Pate being bullied, which was also a major part that played in Pate climbing Mt. Ebott.

Seeing her daughter's items...it just brought back all the guilt at once...and, she really wishes she could have treated Pate better...

Matthew's dad's reaction 🧤🧡:

[See this page of the comic: PG5]

So, this is the part where I stopped updating...but, it was pretty much hinted at that Frisk would have to go to a jail in order to visit Matthew's father, Kyle. (They'd be able to talk to him by using one of those glass seperated things they have in jails?? Where you can visit them face to face. Frisk probably would have had to give the Gloves and Bandanna to a guard there, and entrust them on giving Kyle the items once he was out of jail.)

Anyway, after hearing the news about Matthew...Matthew's dad probably would have felt the same as Pate's mother...just, horribly guilty.

He would have put all the blame on himself immediately. (Just like how Matthew had blamed himself for being a horrible person about the whole thing that happened to Pate.)

However, Frisk tells Kyle thats not true. The way Kyle acted may have had somewhat of an impact, but, Matthew chose to climb the moutain on his own because whatever Matthew climbed the mountain for was important to him. Matthew is headstrong, and ultimately, probably would have climbed the mountain either way, even if his dad wasn't a bad influence.

In short, Kyle would have learned a lot when talking to Frisk about these things, and would have decided to make better decisions in his life once he was out of jail.

Amy's parent's reaction 🩰🎶:

So, to explain Amy's parent's reaction, first we have to know why Amy climbed Mt. Ebott. Essentially, her reason for climbing the mountain was to understand if monsters were truly bad, or not...she had been taught for as long as she could remember, that monsters were horrible, and evil...But, she noticed some people still thought that monsters were not all bad, and that them being trapped under Mt. Ebott was a horrible mistake...

Because of this, Amy had become very defiant the last few days before she climbed because she was so blinded by wanting to know the truth about monsters. It was so bad, that she thought her parents were going against her wanting to learn truth whenever they would tell her how dangerous the mountain was, and why she shouldn't explore it. Of course, that didn't stop her...

So, you can only imagine both Amy's mother (Alice) and father's (Jacob) reaction when they hear, and are presented with Amy's belongings...They would have both been horribly sad, thinking that because they were not willing to be strict enough, their daughter had perished...

But, Frisk tries to explain to them, that it wasn't all their fault. Amy was so blinded by wanting to know what was true and right, that she couldn't see what dangers she was putting herself into. Neither could she see that her parents only wanted to protect her...

In the end, with Amy's mindset...the outcome may have not been able to have been helped.

And Amy certainly regrets her decisions as much as her parents regret theirs...

Lucas's grandmother's reaction 📒💜:

Now we get into what would have been the shorter sections of the comic, shorter by some degree, at least...

For context, Lucas and Kaden are the only souls that have a parent/guardian that is dead...and neither of them are really aware of this, except for Lucas, who only assumes that could be the case with his grandmother.

Sadly, his assumption is correct, as only a few years after Lucas had climbed, his grandmother had passed away...

But, she was alive and well before Lucas climbed, and his grandmother (Margaret) influenced Lucas's climb pretty much unknowingly by talking highly of monsters. She remembered hearing about their kindness when she was much younger. However, Lucas heard at school and read books frequently that would say monsters were horrible beasts. This made him extremely conflicted. And, much like Amy, he wanted to know which side was correct. Not to mention, hearing stories that his grandmother told him would always leave him with more questions about monsters than answers.

Margaret was shocked that her actions had such an impact, and was very lonely, sad and worried once she realized Lucas had suddenly disappeared...Lucas had been the only one keeping her company...

I wanted Frisk to see both Lucas and Kaden's dead family members somehow and the only way I thought about doing this was by having Frisk lay the belongings of both Lucas and Kaden by where their family member was buried. So, Frisk had to go to whatever graveyard Margaret was buried, and lay Lucas's glasses and Notebook there...

However, when Frisk did this, I thought that perhaps something similar that happened with Chara would happen. Frisk saw Margaret's ghost by her clinging to their Determination. They either would have exchanged glances, or would have had a short conversation is what I had planned. But, once Frisk left, Margaret would no longer be able to persist as a ghost.

Kaden's grandfather's reaction 🍳💚:

Kaden's situation was different, however, since he had at least one member of his family still alive, and that was his grandfather. But, meeting him would have been easier said than done...

The reason why Kaden has question marks written on his part of the list is because, well...he was not able to remember his home address very well when Frisk asked him. He actually had a hard time remembering a lot of things...but, luckily for Frisk, he managed to remember the name of the hospital his mother stayed in.

While it wasnt a lot of info, Frisk does their best to work around it, and ends up having to visit the hospital Kaden had told them about. The receptionists, or possibly some of the nurses probably would have helped Frisk out, as they would more than likely have any info on Kaden and his family since his mother stayed in that hospital, and died there...

Once they obtain the address, Frisk goes to the home and is greeted by Noah, Kaden's grandfather, who is now the only person living in that home. Frisk breaks the news to him, and has to ask him if theres a graveyard Lily was buried in so they can lay Kaden's items there. Noah is obviously very shocked to hear all of this...but he tells Frisk there is a graveyard and agrees to ride with them, Payrus, and Undyne to give them directions and visit Lily's grave.

They get there, and Frisk and Noah go up to Lily's grave, and...Noah is just, completely distraught....he lost his daughter and nephew in such a short frame of time...its heartbreaking...

Frisk lays the items near the grave, but, again, the same thing happens with Margaret, where Frisk is able to see Lily's ghost, who is persisting via their Determination...She would have also been shocked and sad to know about what happened to Kaden, as...she didn't know he had went through all that suffering, just so that he could have attempted to help her.

Lily and Frisk can only exchange glances, though, since Noah is there, and Noah can't see Lily like Frisk can...

They don't visit for very long, but Noah is at least happy that now Kaden and Lily can be reunited in some kind of way now.

Justin's dad's reaction 💛:

Now, we get to Justin's dad (Adam). However, Frisk has actually encountered Justin's dad quite a few times before. Remember that one Undyne ask that mentioned how she was trying to get hired into the police force, but everytime theyd talk to the sheriff in the village, he'd always decline her? That was Justin's father. So Frisk is familiar with talking to him, to some degree.

Frisk would have gone to the police station in town in order to try and talk to Adam, and, once Frisk managed to come in and talk with him, and breaks the news to him, and shows him his son's belongings...

He was furious.

Monsters killed his son. And yet, now, Frisk is their ambassador. And he has to ask Frisk why they would have ever thought it was a good idea to let monsters, beasts who are not afraid to kill children, free on the Surface.

And Frisk has to do their best to explain to Adam that the monsters were only doing what they thought they could. And humans were doing everything they could. Frisk tells him that they remember the missing children being all over the news before they climbed Mt. Ebott. They wanted to help, and Frisk tells Adam that Justin must have wanted to help, too. But, sadly, monsters weren't being the friendliest when Justin, or Frisk climbed. But they're friendly now. Frisk would have had to explain that they were able to teach monsters that, even though humans did them wrong, acting out of rage wouldn't solve anything. Because of Frisk, monsters want humans to forgive them of the past, they just want to move on, and they want things to be peaceful, like they had been.

Adam remembers getting into multiple arguments with Justin about the search, and he remembers how desperately Justin wanted to help find those missing kids, and, he realizes that Frisk has a point...that Frisk and his son just wanted to do the only thing they could to help, and because of humans, monsters had to resort to violence...

He regrets having treated his son in a way that made him feel like a child, when, in the end, he could have been super helpful...perhaps if Adam would have thought through things more, and hadn't been so strict and angry, his son would have still lived...

In the end, Frisk teaches Adam to accept these new changes with monsters, and to realize that sometimes, being too strict can lead to bad things. That he needs a balance.

And, to add more to this happy ending, Adam decides to think about letting Undyne into the police force. :)

(Bonus) Chara encounter ❤:

So, I also thought about having Frisk climb back up Mt. Ebott, and summon Chara so that they could talk to each other. Chara is also considered one of the fallen humans, after all.

Frisk would have first apologized to Chara. (because, by this point, they had already done a Genocide route once, and they know that was a horrible experience for Chara to go through.) Chara, of course, begrudgingly excepts their apology...and Frisk would have promised to not RESET anymore.

Then, it would only make sense for Frisk to ask Chara about their parents. They would have explained what they had been doing with the other soul's items, and would have said that Chara deserves for their items to be with someone they care a lot about. However...Chara doesn't go into too much detail, but tells Frisk that they dont want the items going back to their real parents. They want Frisk to return their items to the Underground, where Chara thinks they belong since that is what they think their true home was.

So, Frisk would have ended up throwing the Locket and Dagger back into the Underground, and just like that, they would have returned every one of the human's items! :)

•••

So, that was my entire plan for each section of the comic! I just felt like it would have taken a long time for me to finish, and wouldn't have been as short as I orginally thought, it was just an overwhelming amount of work that I wasn't expecting. :(

But, still! At least I can share the plans I had this way! Feel free to ask more questions about the comic or the soul's pasts in general! Its fun to talk about! :)

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wyslyyzr · 3 years

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HOW DID I MISS THE FIRST LISS MEME ROFLMAO do it. I dare you. I double dog dare you.

◈ for a first kiss between our muses. | @sebastianshaw

through the motions of life, erik has always tried to be decisive. it is a change from the quivering and persecuted child he was, but even then, max had ground nails into knives, and on more than one occasion, decided he would die to kill his oppressors, thwarted only by misstep. he prides himself on his strengths, but there is one distinct category he's had a tumultuous time with: interpersonal relationships. they were often elusive at worst, and complicated at best; his methods were disavowed but he was loved, or he was not loved and was feared, or he was precisely asocial to the point of withdrawal. it was always a struggle, and erik's loneliness was silent, tucked away beneath his breast bone with the rest of his pain he had no desire to aerate.

he doesn't particularly like sebastian shaw, but he tolerates him as demanded or requested by those around him that he respects more, which allows for a subsistence of social dynamic he wished he could simply scorch to nothingness. shaw is oppressively annoying, but erik suspects even if he could train himself to offer minimal reactions, shaw might not retract--his interest ran a bit deeper than mere needling, though erik could not quite deduce what it was that interested shaw. his strength or convictions? maybe, but it was difficult to imagine sebastian approved of how he used them--he'd almost made that clear already. erik simply pretends that isn't there, that he can exist in relative peace, though he feels sebastian's eyes on him rather consistently.

this is a quiet moment, one erik relishes, even if it's beside someone like sebastian shaw. he offers ambivalent reactions, responses, a neutrality meant not to reveal his hand or thoughts, but it would be a lie to claim he didn't enjoy this, at least; the sprawling scenic view of high risen paths and low valleys of clear water, the refracting light from the falling sun, the subtle breeze that tickled his throat and forearms and hands, that lazily tangled in his hair.

when shaw gestures, albeit vaguely, to the ink stretched across his bare forearm, erik's brow sets in clear annoyance, a sharpness narrowing his eyes. sebastian lifts a finger to tut, oh, please, erik, i am not mocking you. he watches shaw fold a leg over the knee, expecting a verbal display of stupidity, or at least, something that would evoke a tremor of rage, but to his surprise, it doesn't come.

shaw mumbles in a way that seems deliberate, like he was sharing exactly what he meant to, a storybook that eliminated any opportunity for vulnerability--like if he said what he meant in an exact tone, it couldn't possibly sound like something that was about him, something that made him less than impervious and grandiose. when he speaks, its of his father, of an impoverished childhood, though the details are deliberately obscured. perhaps a brusque and narrow comparison to what erik endured, but perhaps not done maliciously.

this once, at least.

the bars of tendon in erik's wrist flex as his fingers spider about the rim of his offered glass of champagne, and the taste is fragrantly sweet. he'd observed the bottle had been appropriately stamped with a kosher seal, and wondered if that had been intentional, too, or if shaw had deferred to his misconstrued idea of what exactly kosher meant. that was fine by erik, either way; he hadn't had a good glass of wine or champagne since passover. see, i am not quite the privileged lout you seem to think i am, erik.

erik rolls his eyes, though a bud of amusement burrows into the side of his cheek, pressing a soft line beside his lip. ' oh, believe you me, shaw, i still think that of you. ' he stands from his seat, the sunlight touching his white clothes in such a way that it made erik look otherworldly, illuminating his pale hair, his draped shawl, the tight fit of his long legs. ' i'm unsure what your motivation is for sharing such knowledge with me, ' erik begins, opening his hand in offering to take shaw's emptied cup, ' as it would be out of character to think of you doing anything without an ulterior motive, ' he raises his brows at shaw, though the gesture is almost playful, ' but.. regardless, i appreciate that it was shared. ' shaw rolls his hand on the ball joint of his wrist, flicking his fingers in a dismissive manner. i have servants for that. so erik drops his hand, and shaw rises from his seat in tandem, electing to take erik's emptied glass himself. erik watches him set the pair aside on a small, cherry-oak polished end table that bore nothing else but what looked to be a cigar box. take it as a display of good faith.

' you do nothing in good faith. '

quite untrue, and such an unyielding accusation. you think so low of me. ' is that so? give me an example of your good faith. ' when shaw staggers to an idle, searching for something that would appease magneto, erik almost laughs in his face. ' i did not think so. ' shaw reaches for his arm before he can retreat from the balcony, his hold unkind enough to make erik jerk in response, but he relaxes when it becomes evident to him sebastian merely wants to gain precedence over this debate, and keep him here to speak. well, i make regular donations to a homeless children's education fund in pittsburgh.

' okay. ' thats an example, as you demanded. ' i suppose so. '

when shaw contemplates him, erik thinks he looks rather dull. he watches his brow press into a line. when you learned the scarlet witch and quicksilver were your children, what did you do, magnus?

erik raises a pale brow, something hot and brittle waning in his chest. the sudden switch in topic is jarring, and suspicious to erik. he blinks, averting his eyes from sebastian in thought. ' i held my granddaughter in my arms. i thought about all the time i had missed, and i felt sorry for myself, and sad for them. and i got over it, and began trying to fill in the gaps. why? what does-- '

shaw, perhaps realizing he had yet a hold on erik's arm, lets him go. nothing. it was--a ghost from my past has come to haunt me. you, so filled with them, might have known what to do. i was.. perhaps, asking for .. help.

' help? you? ' ridiculous, isn't it? it feels disgustingly wrong.

' well, thats your problem. ' erik presses his finger into sebastian's chest, albeit the pressure is slight; it's meant to get his attention, nothing else. ' you only accept help when it means theres less work for you to do. what do you do when it makes you vulnerable? i struggled with that for years, and it is still wanting. '

there is a long suffering moment of silence between them, the sun continuing its descent on the horizon, bloated colors of orange and pink crawling over glass. finally, one of shaw's near-comically large hands raises to crest the side of erik's face, his thumb curling to the hinge of erik's jaw, beneath his ear. he tilts erik's head like he's appraising his face, and erik scrunches his nose. ' what are you doing? '

kissing him is certainly the last thing erik could have expected. in fact, it's so left-field to him, so abrupt and strange, that for a moment, erik doesn't know exactly what to do. shaw pulls erik's head down just slightly to compensate for the inch of difference in height, an act erik would suspect meant to be domineering. when his senses come back into focus, he can taste alcohol, a hint of smoke, something beneath that likely to be meat. his heart rushes into his ears, and the swirl of panic pushes erik to respond, his suspended belief finally giving like an overcrowded dam. he balls a fist against shaw's clavicle and shoves with force, successfully prying him free, and nearly knocking him into the railing.

' gott! du khazer, what in--why did you do that? ' erik roars, wiping his face in his sleeve.

i thought we were having a "moment".

' no! '

#sebastianshaw #--RESPONSE.#--PROMPT.#this is 90 percent set up 10 percent kiss and its what shaw fucking deserves #t: god; you pig #also i implied this to be about lourdes but honestly could be about anyone

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vermiculus-incipiens · 5 years

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OOC INFORMATION:

What’s your name? Bless

Preferred Pronouns: he/him

Timezone: EDT/GMT+1

IC INFORMATION:

Character Name: Orion Sirius Black

What’s a hobby or pastime that your character enjoys: Sirius’ most proud possession and the thing he spends most of his time on is his motorbike. He owns a 1972 Triumph Bonneville, a zippy 5-speed cafe racer, which he has modified to increase the output to 900cc. He is currently holding off on making it fly. That would require a full rebuild and the total takeover of the Potter shed, which no one is ready for just yet.

Do you have any preferred ships or anti-ships?: Chemistry-based, completely open. Sirius is not one to get attached, so ships beware.

What do you think your character’s Boggart would be? If their greatest fear isn’t something that could easily take a solid form, what is it? Why?: Sirius used to have his father as his boggart. When he was young, his father was the strongest dominant presence in his life. His father took corporal punishment seriously and his family loomed over all aspects of his life. Now, Sirius’ boggart has changed to his new family, James and Lily. In his greatest fears, his friends finally see him as a worthless fraud and cast him aside, shunning him forever. More vividly, James spits at him and tells him to get out and that he never wants to see him again. And in this fear, Sirius knows James means it.

What’s your character’s biggest pet peeve?: Sirius can be irritable when he is in one of his moods. So his list of pet peeves can be long, depending on how he’s feeling internally. The one that stays constant is hating when people tell him what to do. He spent half his life forced to do things he didn’t want to, or being bossed around, or poked and prodded. He is still quite sensitive to people, especially people of authority telling him what to do. Dumbledore is a respected presence in the Order, but Sirius has little trust for older men in general.

What would you consider to be an eccentricity of your character?: Sirius’ wagging tongue. His sense of humour is often trying on people’s nerves, especially if they are at the tail end of it. The Marauders have gotten used to it by now, but the badly timed one-liners can still be a bit much. He uses his humour to deal with his own emotions and its comes in the form of crude attacks at the people he loves most. Its also quite immature but at this point, it’d be too much of an effort to stop. Besides, he loves the reaction.

What is/was your character’s favorite subject in school? Why?: Sirius didn’t really fancy school. He hated feeling like he was being judged by teachers who marked his tests. He was smart but he couldn’t be bothered to try. He liked any class that he could move around in, but defence against the dark arts provided ample time to goof around with his mates while also learning cool spells.

What time of day is your character’s favorite? What time of year?: Sirius loves Christmas, despite having to go home for it. The holiday has always been his favourite and so December (winter), is his favourite time of year. His favourite time of day is the early afternoon. Although he is most productive at night, he hates having to get to sleep. And mornings are never long enough for sleeping, or he’s too foggy when he gets up to do anything. By around the afternoon, he’s usually full and going about his day.

What’s your character’s Patronus? If they can’t conjure one, what would it be if they could? Why?: Sirius is working on being able to cast a patronus. Its a difficult spell and not to mention there are no emotional “cheats” he can use. One has to be fully open and honest and thats a scary thing for Sirius to do, even with himself. His spirit is definitely a dog, to match his animagus. He’s loyal, but also reckless and wild. He also has a bit of an attitude.

What is your character’s biggest vice (bad habit or immoral craving)?: His biggest vice is definitely his sense of humour. He relies on it to get out of pretty much every situation. Its really hard for him to show love and accept love from the people around him. Its easier just to push them away with insults, disguised under jokes. In terms of a physical vice, he drinks a lot. And he really likes sex. He just wants to let go and have fun, shrugging off all the negative. This sometimes helps, but it can become a bit excessive and self-destructive. He will do pretty much anything to get away from his feelings.

Is your character an introvert or extrovert? How well do they handle social situations?: Sirius is definitely an extrovert. He likes having a lot of people around him. When he’s alone, he’s easily bored and distracted and moody. He needs attention (good or bad) from people around him and he can’t get that when he’s alone. He also starts thinking when he’s not with others, which defeats a lot of his coping mechanisms. At a party, Sirius is found on the dance floor. He enjoys the pounding music in his ears and fanny all around him. He likes to drink (social occasions make him drink a lot), and show off. As it starts to die off and he gets tired, he’d disappear outside with James for a fag, or the Marauders would split to find somewhere else to go. Sirius has an ease about him that just draws people in. They won’t get to know the real Sirius though, no one does.

What is your character’s diet like? What’s his or her favorite food?: Sirius eats everything. His diet is your entire fridge. He really likes chips and gravy, or sweets. He also sometimes has cravings from his pureblood days for really fancy cheeses and wine. He hates to admit that he still suffers from “purebloodisms” from time to time.

How do you think your character’s psychological issues have manifested and changed your character up to this point?: Sirius has a lot of trouble sleeping. This has gotten worse as the war picked up. He used to have trouble sleeping while he was still at home, but the nightmares disappeared once he moved out. To his dismay, they’re back again with a vengeance. This has made him really frustrated with himself, and he feels stuck in his past. Sirius feels like he can’t get close to anyone. He doesn’t know how to open up, how to love, how to show someone he cares about them. He doesn’t even realize he’s this way. All he knows is that he’s really lonely. His recklessness is at its usual high, but he seems to have just given into it. He’s not really trying to control his anger or his wild side right now, focusing on just letting go to have fun. How long can he ignore things before they just go away? He’s stubborn enough to try.

Give us a headcanon for your character: - Although people often think of Sirius as being very impulsive, he has a lot of trouble making important decisions. It takes him a long time to process things and when the stakes are high, theres no hiding behind banter and anger. - Anger: Sirius has never been taught how to deal with anger, aside from violent outbursts and manipulation. As a result, when Sirius gets angry, he tends to get violent. His anger management is something he’s working on however, and he is very much aware of how similar he is to his father. - Luckily, his pride often works in conjunction with his “sense of humour,” and he doesn’t get angry too often. - Pride: Sirius is very much a “Black,” despite having escaped his place at the head of the table. The only thing scarier than an angry Sirius Black, is the lengths he’ll go to, to save face. False bravado, cockiness, arrogance, “fuckboy attitude,” and sense of humour are all tools used to deflect deflect deflect. - The Marauders know what buttons to push to get him going, and it might even be comical to some the lengths this Black will go to, to spin a story, deflect attention (or bask in it), or flat out make fun of anything possible, to keep his pride. But beware how far you can push him, Sirius explodes like a canon and there no safety. - Disco: His favourite type of music, despite often wearing band tees or listening to British punk, is actually disco. He likes the beat, he loves to dance, and he’s quite fond of the “escape” it provides.

#VIAccepted #Accepted #Sirius Black #Closed Character

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domoz · 5 years

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I read War of the Spark last night (yes all of it, all last night.... its like that when you get into a book sometimes)

Thoughts, musings, gripes and spoilers under the cut.

I feel like I should start off by saying that I really liked the book. Like, enough to keep me reading through to 7 am kinda.... but it... suffers quite a few issues.

I have always been very negative on how theyve handled releasing their stories for mtg. One would think that if they’re changing how the story is gonna be released from online to book form they would give a little more context in what the hell is going for people who are just jumping in here, but it feels like everything the gatewatch has ever been involved in is required reading to get a picture of whats going on.That and the fact that so much of what the hell is going on depends on stuff that happened in a prologue that hasn’t even been released yet. And when they do exposit its just ‘oh heres a summary of what happened, moving on’. Not super engaging.

Yeah... Kaya (who... I don’t even know much about but shes a main character in this) and Ral and Vraska and Lavnia and some other character i dont even remember the name of were all buds and then shit went down and blah blah. Why didn’t they include that in the book? Why did they decide to go the route of making the book very confusing and spoiling the future story that has yet to be released?? its such a puzzling decision and i hate it.

The story itself was uh... very much an avengers/smash bros “everyone is here!” situation ... to the point where its not clear whos supposed to be important? like the gatewatch is, and the people in named chapters are but they make a big deal about kiora showing up and she’s mentioned once. Meanwhile Angrath gets a bunch of scenes and basically does nothing with them besides fight some zombies.

I dunno, if youre wondering if you should read it, wait until this prologue thing comes out in june and hopefully you'll be a little less lost then i was when reading it.

It does really feel like just a story you read to see what the gatewatch and your faves are doing. But you know, if you like tamiyo or tibalt then too bad youre out of luck.

I got lucky in that a lot of mine were IN, so.... reactions on that (more heavy spoilers):

Ral - I am ... so happy with him in this. He written SO much better than he was in the original ravnica novels, he turns out not to be a villain like I was worried about but hes still kinda the bastard we love. Also he has a boyfriend? Its like.. a major sort of plot point but not really explained because its in that fucking prologue i assume. He seems nice though.

Lavnia - powerful , all of her drama, is not explained at all within the book itself.

Vraska - She also suffers from “everything important in my character arc happened in a story thats not out yet” syndrome. But shes still vraska, who I adore and shes in the story. And she and Jace hook up at the end which considering that Ixalan was actually well written and made that seem Good for both of them, I’m fine with.

Sarkhan - I dont even think his story will be covered much in this unreleased prologue but hes like... not evil or mind controlled by bolas now and hes works with ugin instead (which i also dont trust but at least he doesn’t make him lose his mind). Ugins little quip at the end about “you must have done something to make him very mad was... real good. I hope he gets a little chance to be redeemed and be less an asshole

Domri - i always kinda knew that the way i had him in my head probably didn’t line up much with wizards canon. but uh... awfully bold of wizards to go “here’s the youngest planeswalker! he’s like 16! lets kill him brutally!” They didn’t really make it clear in the text that hes like... very young (younger than Teyo) and his stupid actions are probably the result of being a dumb teen, so he just comes off like an asshole.

Teyo - new, obviously meant to be an audience surrogate but he has a crush on a girl named rat and hes trying so hard so I like him.

Niv Mizzet - horrid bastard man who i love. if he messes up ravnica i will destroy him.

Honorable shutout to Ob Nixilis for being just the right amount of villianous asshole, and to Dack Fayden (who i did not care about before because again with how they release stuff... i dont even know how to get a hold of the comics/books hes in) who got a lot of the book time being built up as someone who was getting willing to actually help and be a hero and then just fuckin dies.

Also honorable shout out to Maree, Arlinn and Narset who didn’t do much but were at least mentioned.

As for some less favorite moments:

Nissa comes back to do nothing but destroy vitu-gazi. (And then profess her love for chandra which i think does make it worth it in the end, so). But does anyone feel like they don’t know what to do with mono green characters? garruk is just fucking Gone, Nissa only just showed back up and viven was similarly not super relevant except to say to people that Nicol Bolas is Real Bad Guys!

Lilliana just spent the whole story going “i can’t betray bolas or ill die so i wont but i hate him :)”, and then when she decides that she actually would rather die than have him win and maybe redeem herself gideon takes the bullet for her. It was made clear that shes Genuinely Upset about but ... with her its too little too late all the time. At the very least she’ll probably be dealt with soon-ish?

And gideon... I kinda went into it expecting that someone in the gatewatch would die, either him or jace. There were all sorts of ways they could have just as easily not killed him but they decided to do it so they wanted him written out for.. some reason? Like I said, at least Lilli feels bad about it, not that it will stop her from doing future villainous things.

They seeded their future villains a little obviously (3 of them being literally named dropped at the end of the book and Ob literally doing an evil laugh and leaving as soon as he got the chance) but I think it’ll be nice to not have a “one big evil villain is responsible for everything bad that ever happens ever” scenario for a little while.

#mtg blog for mtg things #war of the spark

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humanitys-shortest · 5 years

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✨Simself Tag!!✨

I was tagged by the lovely @shyysims to do the Simself Tag, so here we go with the 125 bloody questions! (I commend whoever came up with all of them, because that’s a lot of brain power that I do not possess.) But! I’m so excited to do this, so thank you so much shyysims!! (●´ω｀●)

I will tag @calsea-ger, @alienshootlove, @wolfy-drawsstuff, @hallucinosims and @stories4sims - of course, you don’t have too! Only if you wanna & have the spare time. :D

Rules: You have to make a simself and include whatever you wish (like traits or anything about you) Then answer the following questions!! (✿◠‿◠)

And heeeree weee go~

Traits: creative, coffee lover(I liked the icon bcuz I love warm drinks but I actually hate coffee dont sue me), geek, music lover, a photo album, geek, loner, hearts(cuz I’m full of love duh) and bookworm!

I also included my aspiration - to become a photographer.

What is your full name? Charlotte

What is your nickname? Char, Lottie, and Petey!

Birthday? February 22nd

What is your favorite book series? ..Twilight..

Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Yep!

Who is your favorite author? I wish I could say J.K Rolling but I’ll go with Stephenie Meyer cuz Twilight fueld my younger teenage years.

What is your favorite radio station? Heaven knows

What is your favorite flavor of anything? Wellllll s’kinda confusing! I love chocolate flavoured ice-cream but I can’t have chocolate flavoured crisps, can I? I’m just gonna go with chocolate. 🍫

What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? awesomeeee possssummmm

What is your current favorite song? Flightless Bird, American Mouth by Iron & Wine

What is your favorite word? coolio

What was the last song you listened to? Lisztomania by Phoenix

What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Gotham!!

What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? The Amazing Spider-Man

Do you play video games? Yessiree

What is your biggest fear? Moths & heights

What is your best quality, in your opinion? my storytelling? I’m pretty proud of the ideas I come up with, if that means anything. xD

What is your worst quality, in your opinion? S’always overthinking everything.

Do you like cats or dogs better? kitty

What is your favorite season? Autumn & Winter - can’t chooseeee!!

Are you in a relationship? Yep :)

What is something you miss from your childhood? I relate with @shyysims’ last answer - friends, lmao.

Who is your best friend? My Amber

What is your eye color? Dark brown

What is your hair color? Dark brown

Who is someone you love? My boyf and my bestfriend

Who is someone you trust? The above :)

Who is someone you think about often? Jack Napier

Are you currently excited about/for something? AVENGERS INFINITY WAR TRAILER POSSIBLY DROPPING TOMORROW

What is your biggest obsession? rn, batjokes ofc!!

What was your favorite TV show as a child? Ed, Edd and Eddy & Rugratz. c:

Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? My s/o

Are you superstitious? kinda?

Do you have any unusual phobias? Not that I can think of? Ooh! I hate it when a single strand of hair lands on my skin or something. It freaks me out cuz it feels weird.

Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind. I take the photos, I ain’t in them :P

What is your favorite hobby? Writing! Followed by gaming!!

What was the last book you read? Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them (script)

What was the last movie you watched? Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes Of Grindelwald

What musical instruments do you play, if any? The triangle.

What is your favorite animal? Wolves! I also rlly rlly love deers and elephants.

What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? mellie, freddie-luthor, wolfy, elijah & smolbeanjoker :)

What superpower do you wish you had? The power of SELF DAMN CONFIDENCE

When and where do you feel most at peace? Anywhere my s/o is.

What makes you smile? Jack Napier :)

What sports do you play, if any? I used to really love playing basketball and cricket. S’been ages.

What is your favorite drink? Any kind of hot chocolate. :)

When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? October for my bestfriends birthday. :D

Are you afraid of heights? b o i

What is your biggest pet peeve? Liars?

Have you ever been to a concert? Not with this anxiety I haven’t

Are you vegan/vegetarian? No. but full respect to those who are :)

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? When I was in primary school, a zoo-keeper... high-school, an author.

What fictional world would you like to live in? The fuckin Harry Potter world please.

What is something you worry about? Life

Are you scared of the dark? Not really

Do you like to sing? Yep! But can I? Nope.

Have you ever skipped school? Uhh yes

What is your favorite place on the planet? My bed

Where would you like to live? Anywhere near a forest/woodland. Honestly Arcadia Bay is my aesthetic.

Do you have any pets? One doggo, three kitto’s.

Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? twittwoo

Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets

Do you know how to drive? No :c

Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

Have you ever had braces? Nada

What is your favorite genre of music? The LIS Soundtrack is a genre of music, right?

Who is your hero? Peter Parker.

Do you read comic books? What do you think if my account is based on Batman hmmmm

What makes you the most angry? Liars

Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book

What is your favorite subject in school? Media

Do you have any siblings? two sisters, two brothers

What was the last thing you bought? a selection box. for myself. no no m’actually sharing with @crycel ;)

How tall are you? 5′3

Can you cook? Toast? Yes.

What are three things that you love? My boyfriend, my bestfriend and Jack Napier

What are three things that you hate? liars, my lack of self confidence n’ belief, and widowmaker auto-lockers

Do you have more female friends or more male friends? Female

What is your sexual orientation? pink yellow and blue baby

Where do you currently live? tea land

Who was the last person you texted? Ammmbaaah

When was the last time you cried? Last week?

Who is your favorite YouTuber? Depends on my mood! But recently it’s Shane

Do you like to take selfies? I do, because I really wanna try and bring my self confidence up. Buuuut most of the time it fails and I just feel worse about myself god dammit

What is your favorite app? tech not an app but ao3

What is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

What is your favorite foreign accent? Aussies!!

What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Bristol. To see my bestfriend.

What is your favorite number? 7

Can you juggle? xD

Are you religious? no

Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? Outer space

Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? Absolutely not

Are you allergic to anything? Some sort of washing power lmao my skin doesn’t likey much

Can you curl your tongue? nuuu

Can you wiggle your ears? nuuuuuuuu

How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? As soon as I realize I am

Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest

What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? always try and see the good side of things

Are you a good liar? Mehhhh

What is your Hogwarts House? HUFFLEPOOF

Do you talk to yourself? not really?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

Do you keep a journal/diary? used too! Now I have scrapbooks, if thats any consolation

Do you believe in second chances? Yes. But it’s got me into trouble, lmao

If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Turn it in somewhere, whatever shop/place is closest if they’re trustworthy

Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes and no

Are you ticklish? ...no

Have you ever been on a plane? Hell no

Do you have any piercings? all natural bby

What fictional character do you wish was real? Peter Parker. (but i’m the female version of him okay)

Do you have any tattoos? Not yet

What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? HAH

Do you believe in karma? aye

Do you wear glasses or contacts? I think I need glasses tbf

Do you want children? no, my sim bbies are my children. and my cats.

Who is the smartest person you know? my bestfriend (sorry boyf)

What is your most embarrassing memory? we don’t go there

Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? what’s sleep? at least, CONISTENT HOURS of sleep?

What color are most of you clothes? Black from my emo days, but now I’m really into yellows and soft colours

Do you like adventures? Yessss, as long as I’m with someone I feel safe with

Have you ever been on TV? I hope not

How old are you? 19

What is your favorite quote? “ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.” or “worrying means you suffer twice”

Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Sweet

YAY

#just me #simself tag

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blandmemoirs · 5 years

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Reflection in the Dark

Sometimes you watch a show and it changes your perspective in subtle, nuanced ways. Sometimes you consume information in a way that informs you of something you always understood about yourself, but in a way that makes it more clear. Lately, I've felt, lost? I'm not sure that's the right way to describe it. Perhaps I am trapped? In the dark? Lets go with that. I've felt as if I am in a dark place, slowly marching through the thick of it. I cant see in front of me, and I don't know if I'm making progress or if I'm just going back to where I came from. The more things change, the more they stay the same. And my life has received some small changes with larger overarching meanings that have left me confused and... At a loss. I walk down this lonely road and wonder if the path really means anything, or if I'm slowly pacing towards a bitter end. My senses tell me tragedy is on the horizon, but I am blind as to where it is to come from. Normally I see the bullets coming my way. What does intuition command my path is to be? Its silent. I hear static. I'm in the dark. What do I choose? Am I at a crossroads or have I already taken the turn? Am I going backwards? What is progress? Does it even fucking matter? Or am I concerning myself with things that dont even matter? Do I just drop it all and let go? Let it freeze over. At least the cold takes me where the wind blows.

I do as I have always done and turn to the world of fiction for answers. Be it fate or my own unwitting subconscious, I read of tragedy and loss. I see heartache and hurt. I see broken men lose it all. But as is a constant in the world of comics and capes, they persevere. They are grieving, but they still do what they are called on to do. They still protect and serve and save. Because that is their purpose. It is what they are meant to be. The memory of love lost, and a willingness to carry on. An acceptance of the loneliness and an ever-changing world. They choose to be a constant. To never let the weight of their personal conflicts hold them back from their purpose.

This brings me very specifically to The Punisher Season 2, which I just finished watching. Frank Castle is a man wandering in the dark. No sense of purpose, just drifting. He lost everything, all the love he had in the world ripped from him violently by evil men, some close to him. But he made them pay for it. He punished every piece of shit that had anything to do with his loss. But then what? What is he? Where does he go? He finally lowers his guard to start anew, only for his whole world to go back to shit and the person he fell for to be wounded in the fray. Frank is a man of conviction. He cant see suffering and let is persist. He must step in and put a stop to it. Even if it costs him a "normal life". And so he embarks on a journey of his own making in which he faces a new enemy and an old enemy he couldnt put down last time. In it he must face himself and the decisions he makes. He avenged his family. He put down eveyone involved. Yet here he is, on a violent path again. This time for no motivation other than to protect someone he has no obligation to. In the ensuing 13 hours the show took to finish, I found myself remembering just why I like this character so much.

Frank Castle is a tragic character. His wife and two kids gunned down in front of him. His only meaning in life taken from him. He takes up arms and exacts brutal, bloody punishment on those involved, and eventually, every evil doer who crosses his path. Frank lives in a world of black and white. Of good and evil. Evil must be killed, and good protected. Frank is neither good or bad. He is the line seperating them. He is the executioner carving that bloody divide. Frank doesnt see himself as good, he just sees himself as what he is, The Punisher. He kills the bad people. Thats how simple his world is. You do harm to other people, you hurt the innocent, you must be punished. Frank differs from the traditional hero because he kills. And he feels no remorse for it. He is THE Anti-Hero. He does bad things for the benefit of the good. There are times when I would like to be that. When I consider becoming that way. There are times I have done bad things to help good people. Obviously, I've not done anything as drastic as Frank, but the themes are similar. I am a man of themes and rules.

I see Frank Castle as being the model by which a part of myself wishes to emulate. A man with nothing to lose and a code to enforce. No feelings or friends, just channeling all of my anger and hate into hurting the ones who deserve it most. Its not a sustainable model, and it would only result in my loss. Frank is a sad character in great pain. There isnt a day he doesnt miss his family. But he knows the things he has done would make his family ashamed of him, so he fights his endless war instead. Frank is twice offered a new life this season, both times rejecting the women who love him for the pursuit of his purpose, punishment. Frank ends the show by "becoming what he is meant to be", The Punisher. After a season of him considering what his role in the world is, and whether he can ever allow himself to enjoy a happy ending, Frank pleads his closest friends to be permitted to be what he is meant to be. Frank has given up on his hope for a happy life, and instead is resigned to enacting pain on all who do evil.

I do not want to be like Frank Castle. He is not a role model like Captain America, or a guiding example like the Hulk. The Punisher is a character that has given up striving to be good. He just does what he wants to do because its what he does best. He has rules and a code. He has a sense of morality and purpose, but he has no humanity left in him. He has no love. He only has his wounded soul and a hate fueled by the anger he feels in his loss. Frank is a sad example of what a person can become when they resign themselves to purpose.

I enjoy The Punisher because I can feel what he feels and indulge myself in his reality without becoming him. Its catharsis. The fantasy of beating down abusers and making them swallow their own teeth and beg for mercy as they choke on their own blood. Season Two experimented with a more merciful Frank Castle. But Frank is not meant to be merciful. He is an executioner. Mercy is for the other heroes. The hope of redemption for evil or faith in a system is what separates Frank from those like Daredevil or the Batman. Each instance of mercy was unique in that's its causes and consequences were different. Sometimes more innocents are hurt, other times the man he spared was someone doing evil against their own will, fighting for a cause out of their control. Frank spares many soldiers who are only following orders so long as they can admit their orders were wrong. "Do what you gotta do" he says.

The Punisher will always capture my imagination because I feel the connection to him. That one bad day could spiral me into a position like his. My values remain, but my soul is gone. My purpose is clear, but my heart is cold. I am simply a shell of myself, acting more as a machine or a force of nature than a man. Frank is even referred to as a "whirlwind" at one point. He is defended as not being a criminal, but also not being a hero. Hes just Frank. Sometimes I see myself in a similar vein, not a good man, not a bad man, just Robbie Bland. A constant.

Frank Castle is a forbidden future I hope I never find myself venturing into. I don't want to become like that. So sad, so tragic, so hurt. But committed, committed to a purpose. Committed to a cause, a war. There is no peace for Frank Castle, and perhaps there may never be a peace for Robbie Bland.

As I wander through this dark in my life, I wonder what I may become, if I am to change at all. I wonder what road I may choose, and if it will be the right one for me. For now, I persist in this limbo state. A good enough job in a good enough apartment surrounded by what I hope is endless support from my loved ones. The times are a-changing. But the more things change, the more they remain the same. The more I begin to think I am not alone, the more alone I feel. For now, I can only persevere and wait for the sun to shine.

Waiting, I'm growing good at it. I'm a patient man, no doubt. I can wait a long time. I just need to know what I'm waiting for, and if what I'm waiting for is the right thing in the first place. I am not growing impatient. I am wondering why the hell I am waiting for something I dont fully understand. But, maybe that means I'm bad at waiting.

I'm in the dark. Wandering. Waiting. Contemplating. I think more to the past with each passing day, making peace with some things and plans for others.

Punisher Season 2 has made me realize that I do not want to let go of the chaos my heart hold. That I do not want to let my heart freeze over so that I can commit to purpose and survival. I'd rather feel and pursue what makes me happy than resign myself to loss. Whatever tragedy approaches me, I will face it, and I will make myself better from it.

Getting to live in Frank Castle's head the last day or so has me knowing it is not a place I wish to remain permanently. Merely to indulge at times when I need to be reminded why I chase the things I do.

Good things come to those who wait. I merely need to be patient, the night is darkest before the dawn.

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thelifetimechannel · 6 years

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KARKAT: SO IN YOUR PERSONAL OPINION, WHICH OF THE TWO UMBRELLAS OF HUMAN PROSPITEERS DO YOU FALL UNDER? KARKAT: ADORABLY OBLIVIOUS BUCKTOOTHED DUNDERFUCKS OR TERRIFYINGLY DRIVEN STEPFORD RESIDENTS THAT IDIOTS LIKE ME HAVE THE POOR FUCKING JUDGEMENT TO PUSH TOO FAR INTO STABBING TERRITORY? KARKAT: OBVIOUSLY ATTRACTIVE GENETICS LIKE YOURS DON'T COME WITHOUT A CRIPPLING CHARACTER FLAW OR SIX, BUT ONE RECURRENT SET OF PERSONAL DEFECTS HAS A TENDENCY TO KILL ME SO I WANT A HEADS UP. I LIKE MY THORAX UNPERFORATED. JAKE: Uh...?! JAKE: ...Nice to meet you too my good sir!! JAKE: Oh friggin cripes where are my manners!! I dont believe weve been formally introduced. Names jake english im the page of hope and jades ecto-grandpa-son! But you probably already knew all of that. KARKAT: YUP, SUSPICIONS CON-FUCKING-FIRMED. KARKAT: NOW I SEE WHERE JOHN GETS BOTH HIS AIR-HEADED DISPOSITION AND HIS DISTRACTINGLY CHISELED JAWLINE FROM. JAKE: Hahaha i see our species has a similar prediliction towards japery!! JAKE: Maybe i am actually not all that impressive at first blush but i can really whip it out when the going gets rough. KARKAT: YES. YES YOU CAN. KARKAT: OKAY, SETTING THAT LINE OF THOUGHT ASIDE FOREVER NOW. WHERE WERE WE? JAKE: Introductions? KARKAT: AH YES. MY LUSUS DIDN'T RAISE ME IN A FUCKING CAVE, AFTER ALL. I JUST HATCHED IN ONE. KARKAT: ATTENTION PUNY HUMAN, THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING, ET CETERA ET CETERA, BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH, HI, I'M KARKAT, I CREATED YOUR UNIVERSE. KARKAT: YOU CAN BE WELCOME FOR THAT AND I CAN BE SORRY ABOUT IT. JAKE: Well whats there to be sorry about! From my vantage point it was a perfectly fine universe. JAKE: Id definitely much rather it have existed than not. KARKAT: IT'S A LONG STORY AND NOW WOULD BE A FUCKING AWKWARD PLACE TO RECOUNT IT, SO I'LL SUMMARIZE: KARKAT: IT COULD'VE BEEN BETTER. AND ALSO HAD LESS CANCER. JAKE: Such is true of many things in life. JAKE: Maybe it was a bit of a fixer upper but it was still home! And boy howdy am i gonna miss it... KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: TRUST ME, WE ALL KNOW THE FEELING. JAKE: Oh yeah... you guys are an awfully long way from home arent you? Thats gotta fucking suck especially now that weve got a human majority. JAKE: What was it like if you dont mind my asking? Not to bring up sore subjects but all ive heard of trolls hasnt included much about their homeworld and ive always dreamed of exploring alien planets. KARKAT: HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT IT'D BE LIKE TO FLUSHED DOWN A LOADGAPER AND SURVIVE IN A CITY'S WASTE CLOACAS LIKE IN "THE FAKE CGI CLAYMATION ONE ABOUT THE SQUEAKBEAST LUSUS WHO GETS FLUSHED DOWN THE LOADGAPER IN A HILARIOUS CONFRONTATION WITH A HIVE INVADER AND HAS TO GET HOME TO THEIR WARD BEFORE THEY GET CULLED, ONLY TO END UP IN A WHIMISICAL LUSUS-SIZED UNDERGROUND CIVILIZATION CONSTRUCTED OF THE DETRITUS OF THE WORLD ABOVE AND GET PICKED UP BY A SPUNKY CLOACA-DWELLING SMUGGLER WORKING WITH COMICAL TROLL-EUROPEAN NATIONAL STEREOTYPES IN WHAT SHE IS UNAWARE IS A PLOT TO EXTERMINATE ALL SQUEAKBEASTS, RESULTING IN A GRAND ADVENTURE ON THE WAVES OF PISS AND AT LEAST ONE INTERLUDE BY SINGING VERMIN"? JAKE: No i cant say i have. KARKAT: WELL, IT'S SOMETHING LIKE THAT. KARKAT: OTHER THAN THAT, NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY. IT WAS A HUNK OF ROCK COVERED IN DANGEROUS, DISGUSTING ANIMALS, ORBITING A DYING STAR THAT WOULD'VE GONE SUPERNOVA IN A FEW MILLION YEARS AND MERCIFULLY ENDED THE WHOLE SHEBANG. KARKAT: BUT IT DIDN'T KILL ME, AND I GUESS I CAN BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT. JAKE: Likewise! I dont know what you know about jades island but my version of it at least was covered in lusii much like the ones i imagine youre familiar with! JAKE: Although there were no waste cloacas or at least none i ever cared to venture close enough to inspect. JAKE: Had a nice frog temple though. KARKAT: OH GREAT. KARKAT: WE CAN HAVE A WHOLE NEW BUMBER CROP OF TROLLS RAISED BY WILD FREAKS OF NATURE, JUST LIKE THEIR ANCESTORS WOULD'VE WANTED. JAKE: Well hey maybe not? New home new traditions. JAKE: I think the lusii wouldve all died when the earth got flooded anywho. KARKAT: MAYBE. KARKAT: BUT WHO THE HELL IS GONNA RAISE THE LITTLE OVIPOSITOR-NUGGETS IF NOT LUSII? ALL THE MOTHER GRUB DOES IS EAT, ABSORB GENETIC SLURRY, AND SHIT OUT EGGS. KARKAT: US? KARKAT: THE ONES AMONG US WHO ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING COMPETENT AT KEEPING OTHER PEOPLE ALIVE ARE FAR TOO FEW IN NUMBER, THEY'D BE OVERWHELMED LONG BEFORE THEY HAD TO SUFFER THROUGH THE MUSKY SHITHIVE OF AN ENTIRE SPECIES ENTERING TROLL PUBERTY AT ONCE. JAKE: Maybe? JAKE: Weve got a bunch of time travellers dont we? So whats the harm in sleeping on that decision? KARKAT: I KNOW. AND I GUESS THAT'S THE PLAN FOR NOW. KARKAT: BUT WE CAN'T PUT IT OFF FOREVER. JAKE: Someone very wise once told me that the decision to raise a new societys worth of children with your best friends is not one made lightly. JAKE: I mean im paraphrasing for the situation obviously but there you go. JAKE: So give it a few years or maybe a decade and see where youre at! Who knows by that time i might even join you! If only to have an excuse to go trekking across an alien planet. KARKAT: OH NO YOU DON'T. ON MY SPECIES-UNFUCKENING CATAWAMPUS CAMP JAMBOREE YOU EITHER PULL YOUR WEIGHT OR YOU GO BACK TO THE BROODING CAVERNS WITH THE OTHER INFANTS WHO NEED THEIR DIAPERS CHANGED. KARKAT: I RUN A TIGHT SHIP, IS WHAT I'M SAYING. JAKE: Haha ok then! Aye aye captain!

#tlcstuck #jake english #karkat vantas #walkaround 4

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karinshortstories · 6 years

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I did not know it was a mental illness

Jonghyun incident reminds me of my past. When I was in high school I think same thing ever happen to me. But I never thought it was a serious issue until recently. When I read symptomps of depression and panic attack, I was like, isnt it what happen to me too when I was in high school?

But well. I never truly know and remember and dont want to, because mainly Im afraid to fall into that dark hole again.

Yeah dark hole is the accurate description of what I was going through at that time.

Its started with a sudden death of my close family. Really sudden. The me back then was so young, that all I know was only happiness. The reality that ppl can die in the end not really engraved in my mind since I never experience loss of my loved one. But then, I loss some one close to me in a really sudden way. That shook me to the core. Particularly that night when I was about to sleep I thought too deep, what i was thinking is death is a scary thing because u dont know where u going. And its really really scared me, my heart beating so fast, I have cold feet and I can't breathe, I was crying. Then my mom ask me what happened. I can not answer. I wouldnt answer.

Since that night. I feel like I fall into a huge hole, dark. The surface really seem far. My chest is so heavy and im suffocated. I remember always sitting in a corner of my family room, my back on the wall, then hugging myself. Its all because the pain in my chest was unbearable. Especially when its raining, the pain was unbearable, im crying. I can not sleep. Or precisely, I slept but I cant feel that I have enough rest. Im exhausted.

I went to school as usual. I eat but cannot taste it well, taste bland. Somehow watching my kpop oppas, reading comics didnnt make me as happy as before. I was confused. I want to be happy, I want to be back as my old self. But I feel only darkness.

I know my parents and family was so sad seeing me in that state. They rent me lots of comics to read. But I didnt read any of it. They took me for a walk to see some good sceneries. But it didnt work. My tsundere brother even took me in his motorbike somewhere far to see nice scenery. But i didnt feel anything. Which make me hate myself. Why i cant be happy after my family took hard effort to do this thing. I dont know why.

One night when my pain becomes unbearable, I was hugging myself in the corner of my family room and crying. My mom ask me to pray (sholat magrib) with her, then we read Quran together. Im crying even harder. I pray to God that I want to be normal again, please bring me to surface again. Then i was asleep, with my father hugging me.

Another night was when I was in panic mode again, and I feel like my chest was about to burst, I remember my mom took me to doctor. And that doctor said I was physically fine, then he mentioned that Im psychologically not fine. I remember my moms worried expression, and it makes me so apologetical.

One day, i was even taken to a religious figure (kyai), my mom though theres something unseen was bothering me. But then, he said theres none. Which makes my family even more confused.

One night i was so exhausted because the voice in my head always said u will die soon and something like that. Every night is a battle for me with that voice. I dont want to die, i dont want to die. I keep repeating that. But its really exhausting. One night i thought of giving up and said to my mom,should i just die?. My mom was so shocked. I can still remember tje shock in her eyes. She ask me to pray with her again. After praying we read Quran again. Im crying so hard. Then my mom told me, thinking about "it" (suicide) is a big sin. Let alone do it. Then im crying even harder.

One week was like hell for me. My panic attack always hit me when its starting to get dark or when its rainy days. My chest always hurt so much until I suffocated. That is why I was hugging my self. Each day is so hard for me back then. But I realize that my family wouldnt leave me alone. They always ask me to go out with my friends even if I dont want to. And it saved me.

And.. what saved me is actually a simple word from my father. At that time I was so afraid of death and I need someone to tell me that I will live, safe and well. I know it might be hard for him to say that uncertain things. But what saved me and bring me to surface was only this sentence "life and death is God to decide, you have live courageusly, why you are so afraid of death? What are you so afraid of? You are so healthy, you will live well.". With a serious and assuring expression my father told me that sentence.

Then I feel like I come back to surface.

That dark place is gone.

The pain is gone.

But I know the hole is still there.

And I can fall anytime.

I just have to limit my mind not to think too deep.

So that I wouldn't fall in to that hole again.

Yup, thats my story. Honestly Im crying while writing this. Because I still can feel the pain even now

The reason why im writing this is because I saw many ppl on internet are mocking the late Jonghyun, why he took such decision (to end his life) while he rich, handsome, has many fans. They didnt know, that all of those are insignificant and not related to mental issues that he has. Because I already experienced that, I can feel it, and somehow relate to it. I really grateful I have family which support me, religion which I can holding on which makes me not thinking about suicide. And sadly, those mental issues is considered something trivial in our society, while the fact is its really isn't for the one who suffering from it.

I hope many people can open their mind after what happened in this 2017.

Lets be healthy and happy always.

Cheers.

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dickie-gayson · 6 years

Note

Who’s the greatest Robin?

i cant believe u put me on the spot like this

-sweats nervously-

OKAY SO..imho there’s no ‘greatest Robin’. They each have traits and skills that make them fantastic and invaluable. so instead of who I think the greatest is, HERE’S A LIST OF SOME OF THE TRAITS THAT MAKE THEM GREAT (not just as Robin bcus SOME had rather short tenures as Robin)

Robin in general - loving (even if they try to hide it), smart, loyal, and Wild AF. poor Bruce has more gray hairs bcus of these lil shits than anything else probably, would do literally anything to save others even if it killed them (which i wish DC would stop doing we get it already)

Dick - greatest acrobat in the DCU, fast af and hard to hit, bendy fuckin wacky-waving-inflatable-arm-flailing-tubeman level flexibility. reflexive thinker that can react on the fly and adapt in a snap. loves with all he has, sat and talked to Tim when Tim was feeling suicidal and thats smth i just..really feel strongly about in a good way, great sense of humor that he uses to deflect actual emotions bcus emotional competence is for squares, wanted to adopt Damian and i still cry over that missed opportunity, a walking Hot Mess

Jason - so much fire and passion in everything he does. takes after Alfy with the dramatics and it’s perfect. he’s so smart and caring but that’s always overshadowed by his ‘attitude’. the fact that he tried to keep Shiela safe even after the betrayal and torture says so much about how big his heart is, despite all the pain and suffering, all the negatives, he pushed on and turned everything around for himself, he’s just such a good dude all-around

Tim - him heart too big for him gotdam body, like he was in awe of batman and robin (and Flying Grayson Dick i still cry over that tbh), just wanted to make sure bruce and gotham were safe, despite his depression and self-image issues (not thinking he could compare to Jason or Dick) he still fought on and if that aint inspiring idk what is, he’s so fuckin smart that even Ra’s admires him, kid doesnt give up like...ever. DC bring him back already u cowards. im Salty over his treatment

Stephanie - so underrated, never in Robin stuff and it makes me Sad. she’s so funny, but more than that she’s tough. by that i mean her father was a super criminal but she wanted to do better and became Spoiler to fight against him, gave up her own child at 16 bcus she knew that it’d have a better life somewhere else and that gets her so much respect, that was a tough and strong decision, always swings back to the fam even after Bruce pushes her away (rude B she’s Great), she doesnt give up or stay down (a patented Robin trait)

Damian - i love this smol birb. he was so vicious and determined to prove himself when he first appeared. he was angry, downright cruel at times (lookin at that time u tried to blow Tim up, Dami), but he grew up, he matured into smth so much brighter, that boy loves even if he tries to hide it bcus he’s embarrassed, super loyal like dont hurt, hell dont even touch those he loves bcus Jealousy and Wrath abound

BONUS ROUND:

Carrie Kelley - so creative. so determined to be Robin. she was the first female Robin (even if that comic was a Hot Mess and she was the only redeemable part imo), used a slingshot as a weapon and thats Fantastic, used her lunch money to buy a Robin costume and i love her

Duke Thomas - honestly prolly the most well-adjusted Robin and i adore him, he cried bcus Dami beat the hell out of him and it hurt. he hurt, he doubted he should do this, and yet he got up and kept goin. cant believe wtf the batfam’s lives even are and i dont blame him

OKAY SO THIS TURNED LONGER AND LESS INTO A LIST OF TRAITS AS I WENT ON, SORRY ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

TLDR: EVERY ROBIN IS THE GREATEST ROBIN AND ID DIE FOR EACH OF THEM

#bitchimightbe #THIS GOT LONG WINDED #also i hopped around a lot so watch out for Errors lmfao #theres way too many good things about each of them #i ran out of steam and died RIP ME #Robin

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transtrendhumanity · 7 years

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lets talk about vex memories.

cws for... non-sexual dubious consent, sexual content, violence, animal death, disordered eating, illness... hopefully thats it?

ey started having dreams about eir shun lifetime during the time ey was about 13 in eir rohan lifetime. or nightmares, really. about hiding, about running, about being cornered and fighting for eir life, about losing friends and loved ones... eir parents, alarmed by these frequent nightmares, put eir in therapy. ey wasn’t particularly impressed with eir therapist, and didn’t stay long, but one thing did stick: draw out your dreams. ey started with simple illustrations, and moved on to short comics, posting all of it as a dream diary online. it became something of an underground hit. although extremely non-linear and disjointed, the comics told a clear story.

after drawing it for two years, ey began to receive offers to write a manga. ey was skeptical of it at first. after all, ey didn’t particularly have a story so much as a near-compulsive need to catalogue eir dreamscape.

at some point though, ey did accept an offer, and start writing a manga. pink dark boy was the story of a boy living in a somewhat surreal world, with both the terrible luck to be constantly in trouble and the excellent luck to always survive it. at first, it was based on real life horror stories, accounts of criminal activities, ghosts, and demons. ey found people with these stories on the web and interviewed them to the best of eir ability, in person when possible, but often by phone or even over forums instead. eir curiosity was insatiable.

during this time, ey grew into mental illness. paranoia and hallucinations of shadow people. the fear both of being watched, judged, and of being ignored and forgotten. eir fears featured prominently in eir work. the shadow people became an overarching plot thread, destined to be the end-game villains, the orchestrators of all pink dark boy’s bad luck. his struggles became more and more public, and the public would always turn a blind eye, or worse, a silently judgemental one.

eir work quickly overtook eir schooling, and ey went from attending sporadically to dropping out entirely towards the end of 11th grade. eir parents questioned the decision, but even they couldn’t deny the cashflow eir comics were generating.

ey moved out and to tokyo. for a short time, ey accepted assistants, but ey rapidly became paranoid that they were working to sabotage eir work. eir accusations of such became a small scandal, but didn’t significantly affect eir sales. ey worked alone after that.

ey worked tirelessly, like a person possessed. often ey would not eat or sleep for days at a time, and often ey would end up miraculously ahead of schedule, despite eir lack of assistance. ey took these opportunities to go interview more people.

eir interviews turned to more and more invasive questions. rumors about eir abounded: that ey was not only an eccentric but a creep, or worse. ey resolutely refused to pay mind to the rumours, but they contributed greatly to eir paranoia.

perhaps because of the stress, or perhaps because of eir terrible lack of self care, or perhaps because of a glitch in eir reincarnation, ey developed terrible stomach problems. too paranoid to consult a doctor about it, ey suffered in silence, half-convinced that the shadow people had laid a curse upon eir. besides the pain, ey began to cough up blood.

though ey was determined not to tell anyone, eir editor did eventually find out. it was her opinion that ey was pushing eirself too hard, and that living in the city was contributing to eir stress, and surely it would be better for eir to move back to the countryside, with eir family.

ey resented the idea, and put up a great deal of resistance, but eventually, in a moment of clarity, realized that she was at least partly right. in a spiteful move, ey researched which towns had the highest rates of unsolved murder, and was surprised to find eir hometown near the top of the list.

curious beyond measure, ey moved back to morioh.

during the time ey had been away, ey had scarcely contacted eir parents at all. they complained that they only knew about eir continued survival because eir comics still came out every month, but “they’re so dreary, can’t you write about something happy for once?” additionally, during the time ey had been away, ey had moved from presenting as a dour and asocial tomboy to presenting as an actual boy, and had started hrt without a word to them.

ey didn’t tell them ey moved back. they found out on their own, and visited without warning. shocked by the changes in eir presentation, they said some unsavory things, and vex kicked them out of eir home, yelling that they had best not come back.

they didn’t.

ey sometimes regretted it. growing up, eir parents had made every effort to be supportive, and ey thought that perhaps if ey had reciprocated the gesture, ey could still have some manner of good relationship with them. with any human being other than eir editor. but more often, ey was overcome with paranoia that they resented eir success, and their visit had only been the precursor to trying to take advantage of em.

when ey was hit with the arrow, ey thought it was another nightmare, though for the past couple years ey had been sleeping poorly and sporadically enough to have no dreams worth remembering.

ey posted one final update to eir dream journal, a revival after years of silence. that ey had, after years of running and hiding and loss, lost for the last time, and been killed by an arrow to the throat.

many fans complained that it had been a better story without the ending, and that the last update felt tonally dissonant from the rest of the work.

thereafter, ey found that eir interviews went differently. at first, it was that ey was able to ask more and more invasive questions and still receive an unflustered straight answer. then ey noticed the texturing on the side of eir subjects’ faces.

reaching out, ey was able to simply open them up. the first time it happened, ey spent a full 6 hours reading the entire life story of the person he was interviewing, and then closed them and asked a variety of questions to confirm eir findings.

ey wasn’t sure at first if ey had further gone mad or if ey had gained a new power, but that didn’t stop eir from using it. it took a while for eir to draw the connection between the thank-you doodles ey would draw as a formality at the beginning of most interviews and the response of eir powers.

during this time, pink dark boy became more tangible in eir thoughts, slowly developing from an oc to a headmate before manifesting in canon events as eir stand.

the first time ey attempted modifying someone’s story, it was as a last measure. ey was interviewing a girl whose friend had gone missing, and noticed that she had a crush on eir. wildly uncomfortable with the idea, ey simply crossed it out.

she woke up unsure why she was even there, visibly disappointed by the thank-you sketch she had been elated to receive not moments before.

this opened up a world of possibilities. if ey could affect someone’s heart so intimately, surely ey could affect their memory for short times, as well. and it turned out that ey could.

before all of this, ey had a keen interest in gore, but very little actual experience. ey worried constantly that this showed in eir work, that it was seen as a weakness. what little experience ey did have involved dissecting road kill.

but now the doors were open for eir to attempt human experimentation. how much pain could one person tolerate before passing out or throwing up? how quickly did blood well up? how far could you bend a person’s shoulder before it dislocated?

with each experiment, ey wrote into the victim that they would forget the entire encounter, and further, wrote in an explanation for any damage done. some were easier to explain away than others. for safety’s sake, ey tried to keep eir experiments to people without close friends or family. people whose injuries would go largely unquestioned.

ey kept these activities to a minimum while jotaro was in town, knowing that he would take issue with them. we won’t go into detail about canon, since most of it is largely unchanged.

post canon, ey continued hanging out with the gang of teenagers, or being pestered by them.

koichi was eir favorite for a long time, but while koichi liked eir well enough, it eventually became clear that ey wasn’t their favorite person to be around.

josuke, on the other hand, seemed to delight in pestering em. ey found it a bother at first. they got in the way of eir work, they messed around in eir house, they invited themself along when ey went sightseeing. eventually, ey got used to their presence, although it would be a long time yet before ey admitted any fondness.

eventually, ey got comfortable enough with josuke to invite them along on one of their interviews. they would be useful, ey thought. ey wouldn’t have to explain away any injury if josuke healed it for em.

josuke was wildly opposed to the idea. though by this point they’d known each other for two years, they hadn’t had an argument on this scale since they met.

josuke threatened to break vex’s wrist, and ey gave in before they followed through. they both went home in a huff.

several days of brooding later, josuke showed up at vex’s place once again. with a proposition: you stop harming random civilians, and in return, i’ll allow you to do to me what you wanted to do to them. within reason, of course.

vex told them that was a stupid idea, they couldn’t heal themself, after all. but they insisted, and eventually, vex gave in.

feeling vengeful that they were taking away the greatest outlet for eir artistic curiosity, the first few experiements ey tried on them were harsh and painful, beyond what ey would usually indulge in.

josuke complained about it: you’re a sick freak, doing this to a fine young thing like me. (you’re an adult /now/, vex retorted.) and other complaints besides. but they continued to bear whatever vex chose to put them through, never running away or skipping out.

eventually, vex discovered a secret: that they were, not all the time but often enough, getting off on it. that between their inherent masochism and the specific way vex looked at them, they didn’t mind the situation nearly as much as their complaining made it seem.

vex was originally disgusted by this tidbit, but grew curious as time went on. eventually, ey introduced a sexual aspect to eir experimentations. what did josuke look like getting off? how many times could ey get them to come? how much edging could they stand?

josuke still complained, loudly and frequently, about vex’s masochism. but they had reached an understanding, now. that they were both benefiting from this in some way. vex felt more comfortable knowing this: that it was not josuke’s heroic nature motivating them, but a selfish desire to be hurt.

somewhere along the line, josuke roped vex into more benign experiences.

somewhere along the line, they admitted that they were dragging em out on dates.

somewhere along the line, vex discovered that ey was perfectly ok with that.

(in the background, koichi and yukako dated for a long while, to the point where koichi’s parents started teasing him about marriage. he complained about this to vex, but still got flustered when vex asked if there was any validity to the teasing.)

#[vex]#[memories]

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didsbumeare-blog · 5 years

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I am obsessed with online dating

Are You Addicted To Online Dating? He likely does this because he enjoys the attention that he receives from you when you try to comfort him and reassure him that he is in the right. And it really hurts me that her family is egging her on in all of this. These behaviors are mostly learned attitudes that become bad habits. Seems like maybe this touches on a personal note for you. Its sad and beyond frustrating but online sites are a feeding ground for Sociopaths just looking for another feed. Thankfully, I am here to help you. Maybe it's a good friend, a teacher, or even a celebrity.

10 Signs You're Dating a Self Some guys are really hot, but conceited because they have at least 5 shirtless pics in their profile. . In reality, failure is the default setting in dating. Narcissists are not interested in talking about other people — so while they may ask about your day, or your feelings, it is likely just so that you will ask about theirs afterwards! You just want to be sure that the girl is something more than your bed neighbour. I read what I purchased from you faithfully and followed everything you said.

Why You're Obsessed with Getting Married Alright, so I broke up with him and just told him the truth, that he is a narcissistic, vain, little bitch. That is something for you to research. She lists her height in her dating bio, and has been told by some men that she's too tall for them. I am just not clicking with them. Happened a couple times in this long and storied life. If you wore a Star Trek uniform most days, that would be obsessive - but there are a lot of guys who would be very interested. I am not engaging in this and can walk away because I see all the signs and I am not hooked on this person because of my lessons learned from Nex.

Why Are So Many People Addicted To Online Dating? Two literally opposite personalities being presented at alternating times, depending upon her objectives. Thats also a reason for that fear, understandable. By the way, love your blog Evan. Then just sit back and watch all the emails and winks that come thru from those same guys that ignored you. I feel like she cares about the ring more than me. We started becoming close again and contact each other when I made the move and gave my ph number bit he had a gf at the time. If you have large muscles, you'll get a lot of attention.

Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone? Free Dating, Singles and Personals Being single for a while is really not a problem When I was online dating, I was getting worried that I'd been single for two whole years—as if that was a lot. The wedding ring issue is just one of many things that I feel she is not willing to compromise on. But he didn't just love it, he ate, slept and breathed it. If you've even told some potential dates that you are adding him to a waitlist, seek help now! So, just to conclude, use your life passions as a way to reach new people. Gloucestershire dating - these men loves to play offense if you have asked police for kan stud kan natten. That fear of being rejected is a thing, it does messes our head.

10 Things I Learned When I Quit Online Dating Comic books, video games, movies. So you can get to know them better before deciding. Write to more Indian men and your response rate should go up by 15%. While nervous people come off like they have something to be nervous about, confident people come off like they have something to be confident about—and others want to know what that something is. Dark obsession dating for a smooth transition from lend initial client best online dating girl - he is obsessed online dating - he christian dating. If he or she is always willing to choose you over his or her friends, it demonstrates a dependence on and over-investment in you, which in itself is telling of the imbalance of commitment to your relationship. If you're okay looking and you message me about something we're both interested in I will reply.

Top 5 Signs You Are Too Obsessed With Online Dating As I idly swipe through Bumble, I will scroll through a dater's photos before perusing their bio, searching for a number that might dictate the crucial decision: to swipe left or right? Anyone that's as obsessed with the idea as you are is likely to be one of the guys that kills himself when he goes through a divorce and she takes everything and won't let him see his kids. I do think race will play a role. Be glad they aren't into road racing, as many that age are. A sufferer may well get a shot of dopamine on their trip on their superhighway to the comfort zone, but those complications are more than likely to remain just like accidents and traffic jams. Otherwise you personally and annual percentage rate credit score option. Calls are more difficult unless you switch your phone off, thereby withholding all callers, or block the number.

when does a HOBBY become an obsession and deal breaker? Free Dating, Singles and Personals Give her the my friend is obsessed with online dating girl - journalist my boyfriend is obsessed online dating - another i siste svarer nettside. She is dead set on a very expensive ring, which scares me. Those messages made me run far, far away from online dating. March 3, 2019 at 2:04 am Hey DatingAdvice. To the detriment of family and jobs. The least attractive women get less than a 10% response from the most attractive men. Dark obsession dating - he dating in ct - he is obsessed with online dating site okcupid free online dating site.

Why You're Obsessed with Getting Married You would have done this if you really loved him and loved to be around him. In excess, they create a foundation where power may become unbalanced between you and your partner. But they stay on these sites day after day because like online gambling. It was an eye opening experience. And then you start the process. Last week he stated wants to keep things casual and light. The life you save may be your own.

#Why #am #I #obsessed #with #dating #apps #if #know #don't #want #a #relationship?

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tumblunni · 5 years

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OKAY JUST TO GIVE ERROL AS AN EXAMPLE

His story just...?? Does not have?? "The call"?? At all??

Ive really tried stretching but just no, sorry.

The plot starts with our duo already off on the quest to climb the mountain, and figuring out why they wanna do it and what happened to them in the past is a gradual mystery that gets unwravelled throughout the story. So if you interpret "the call" as just "the start to the adventure" then already we dont really have that.

Tho again cos of anxiety about being weird i did end up writing a potential more call-ish intro scene but seriously its just like five seconds of "hmm i will try to cilmbe dis mountaine" "BUFF FRIEND WILL HELP U"

Like there was really no damn thing that "forced" either of them to "take up the hero's mantle" and they dont even really do anything "heroic". There's no destiny reason, its just a dude making a kind of dumb decision to risk his life on an adventure to try and settle some personal anxieties he has about something he hates about his personality. And his good friend coming along to protect him, and try and help heal the hurt. Theres really no damn reason why they had to start their adventure on that day as opposed to any other, it was just coincidence that this was the one time in a million that his "god i am filled with self hate and i have this stupid idea that The Magical Local Legend can solve my problems" anxiety attacks actually won out and he decided to really do it.

Also LOL in retrospect he's flipping the cliche even more?? Cos i was just thinking "well i guess the only reason he picked now is because he's had years of practise and planning for this thing." Like seriously he not only isnt "thrust into adventure" but he's already gone through a training montage before it even started!

And like i suppose i GUESS you could say that the stuff that happened to him years ago was an "inciting incident" but it really wasnt a "refusal of the call". It was a tragic backstory event that led to our duo becoming friends and also becoming hella depressed, but it really isnt the reason why they do this adventure. Errol's idea that he was "cursed" on that day and has to do this dangerous quest to "break the curse" is supposed to be a complete misinterpretation due to his trauma. the whole point of this story is that sometimes bad stuff happens to you and its not "for a reason" or "part of god's great plan" or "you can make it go away if you just try hard enough". He doesnt really discover that his destined enemy is at the top of the mountain and they caused everything wrong in his life. He just discovers that the guy who was right next to him wants to help him through these tough times and together they can cope with the darkness, even if there's no easy solution to banish it forever.

So yeah you'd think "sad thing happens in the backstory and then over a decade later he does this thing" would be a "refusal od the call" but really the sad thing was just a sad thing and it was never calling him anywhere. Less "refusal of the call" and more "doing the rational thing and not giving in to paranoia and self doubt", with honestly the start of the story being a BAD THING for him! Like at the start you think that Beau forcing himself into Errol's "quest" is just "lol funny comic relief man" but really its a guy seeing his best friend make a potentially self destructive choice and being REALLY WORRIED so he has to come along. And just putting on this funny comic reliefy persona extra hard because he's trying to keep his buddy's spirits up, while also hiding that he also has his own personal anxieties that are a reason for him to wanna climb the mountain too. I hope i have the writing skill necessary to pull off that foreshadowing, haha...

Oh and also lol there IS technically a real curse just cos i felt like itd be lame to tease people with the idea of the supernatural and have literally none of it. But also its not a "curse" as in how Errol sees it, with a culprit and a journey and a solution.

Going into spoilers a bit when discussing this

Woop woop

Spoilers incoming

Okay...

I haven't exactly decided yet but Errol is either a vampire or a ghost, depending on whichever i can create a cooler design for. He actually didnt survive the accident in his childhood, and this whole time he's been some sort of supernatural creature trying his best to hide the signs he isnt human anymore. He thinks that there must be some sort of greater plot behind all this because he's desperate to find any way he can cure it. But really there isn't a cure, and there wasnt an evil cause for it, it was actually kind of a good stroke of luck that saved his life! So its all kinda more of a metaphor for how its easy to feel "broken" or "not human anymore" when you suffer a great trauma, or become mentally or physically disabled. And how thats not really true, you're still you and its just that society exerts stigma upon people who "can't ever be fixed" into being "normal". The message is kinda gonna be that even if you have something in your life that left its scars on you, even if it'll never go away, it doesnt make you any less of yourself and any less deserving of love. So this would be shown by Errol fearing that he'll become a mindless beast while showing no signs of it being true, getting obssessed with finding this "cure" even when it'll hurt himself in the process, and trying to find some sort of villain or cause or way to personify the illness as separate from himself as something evil. (I.e those "i am autism i will make it impossible to talk to your child, uwu u can defeat me by feeding your child bleach" ableist commercials...) And then in the end his worst fears are realized, there is no magical solution at the top of the mountain and the person he cares about the most has found out about his secret. But really none of his fears came true, because Beau accepts him, confesses his feelings and the two of them start piecing their life back together again and finding new hope for the future. Even if that future still happens to contain things like having secret bat wings!

(Oh and also Beau isnt completely a sattelite character he has his own different traumas and life problems and ways they get brought out into the open and counteracted by the power of love and acceptance. Its just that since errol's side of the thing is slightly supernatural it was easier to talk about in the hero's journey framework)

(Oh and also at some point they adopt a talking crow)

#melting words

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years

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Mastering the abundance mindset (and changing your money blueprint)

Shares 531 Old habits die hard. When you get to be a middle-aged man like me, you have forty-nine years of learned behavior to guide your actions and decisions even when you know your choices arent necessarily for the best. Our mental blueprints (including our money blueprints) are deeply ingrained and tough to change. Dont worry. I havent turned into a spendthrift or anything. But Ive been thinking a lot lately about how certain parts of my past continue to affect me, sometimes in huge and annoying ways. For instance, I fight an ongoing battle against a scarcity mindset. I havent been able to master the abundance mindset.

Scarcity and Abundance Ive been reluctant to talk about scarcity and abundance because the terms have been co-opted by Law of Attraction types who use them to encourage magical thinking. I hate the New Age-y approach to these concepts. I want to discuss them from a psychological perspective. With a scarcity mindset, you believe that everything is limited. Time is limited. Money is limited. Love is limited. This causes you to worry about the future. Youre consciously or unconsciously more concerned with what might go wrong than with what could go right. You make fear-based decisions. Youre afraid of missing out. Youre afraid of not having enough. You have trouble with moderation and often exhibit all or nothing behavior.With an abundance mindset, you believe theres plenty for everyone. Theres plenty of wealth, prestige, and happiness to go around. Youre optimistic about the future. You think things will work out even if there are bumps along the way. You make decisions based on the Big Picture rather than a single snapshot in time. Its easy for you to balance tomorrow and today. Ive written before about my trouble with impulse control. In the past, Ive had problems with overspending, overeating, video game addiction, alcohol consumption, and borderline hoarding behavior. (Im a compulsive collector of Stuff.) All of this the collecting, the addictive tendencies, the lack of self-control stems from a scarcity mentality. But I didnt realize it until a few years ago when my therapist helped me see the source. Because my family didnt have much when I was young, I find it difficult to defer gratification. My default mindset even when life is grand is that if I want something and its available, I should get it now. Somewhere deep inside, I feel as if there wont ever be another chance. My father had this mindset. My mother had it. My brothers have it too. (Like me, Jeff and Tony have both learned to fight the feeling of scarcity in their own fashion.) A Real-Life Example of the Scarcity Mindset Over the past year, my deeply-seated scarcity mindset has begun to manifest itself in another annoying way. Since moving into our new house last July 1st, weve had to make tens of thousands of dollars worth of repairs. About $56,000 of these costs came from the sale of our previous home, but that still leaves us on the hook for $30,000 or $40,000. We have one last project to do before we believe were finished: We want to replace the rotting back deck and install a hot tub. (This was the first project we had planned to tackle when we moved in, but we had to put it off for more pressing priorities.) Kim and I know without a doubt that well use the deck and hot tub nearly every single day of the year. (TMI: Currently, she and I both take several hot baths each week. If we had a hot tub, wed be able to soak together.) Its not a question of whether well get value from building an outdoor oasis. No, the problem is that Ive reached some sort of mental breaking point. Im reluctant to spend another penny on home improvement. Im over it. I hate the idea of cashing out yet another chunk of my index funds. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I feel like thats money Ill never get back. (I feel this way despite the intellectual understanding that wed recoup maybe 80% of our costs if we were to sell the home in the future.) I recognize that this is my scarcity mindset kicking in, yet I cannot shake these feelings. Theyre a part of my money blueprint. Heres the thing: In so many ways, financial freedom depends on casting aside this scarcity mentality and embracing an abundance mindset instead. Financial well-being is fundamentally tied to positive expectations of the future. Lets look at three ways the scarcity mindset can manifest itself and how to embrace abundance instead. Jealousy and Spite For some, the scarcity mindset manifests as jealousy and spite. These folks resent the success of others, financial and otherwise. They find it tough to be happy when something good happens to a friend or family member. Theyre territorial, reluctant to co-operate toward a greater common good. Heres how Stephen Covey describes this flavor of scarcity in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: People with a scarcity mentality tend to see everything in terms of win-lose. There is only so much; and if someone else has it, that means there will be less for me. This type of scarcity mindset is the source of the average Americans love-hate relationship with wealth. Most people want to be wealthy but are suspicious of those who already are. They typical person believes that when she makes money, its a result of hard work and skill. But others who get rich? Theyre lucky jerks who dont deserve it. People with this form of the scarcity mindset dont just hold back themselves but they keep down the people around them. This usually manifests as gossip and griping. Sometimes these people keep score. In extreme cases, they actively work to sabotage the success of others. People with this type of scarcity mindset are a drag on life, a net negative to the world at large. What if you suffer from this sort of scarcity mentality? Train yourself to be happy for others. Recognize that my success does not diminish you. Life is not a zero-sum game. To that end: Dont compare yourself to other people. Focus on yourself, on your own goals and accomplishments. If you must compete, compete with yourself. Strive for constant self-improvement.Practice a win-win approach to life. Look for ways to improve your own situation while also helping those around you. When faced with a conflict, dont try to be the victor; instead, work toward a solution beneficial to both parties.Teach yourself to share. Force yourself to give things time, money, resources to other people. When you have a surplus of something, spread the love. (More on this later.) Jealousy and spite can be overcome, but it takes work. Making the effort is a great way to change your outlook, creating a better life for yourself and the people around you. Never Enough

For others, the scarcity mindset manifests as fear of the future. These people think and act like children of the Great Depression. Theyre so worried about how bad things could get that theyre unable to recognize and enjoy what they already have even when they have a lot. Let me give you an example. I once met with a woman who had over $6 million in the bank. She was my age mid forties and lived a modest lifestyle. She wasnt overly frugal, but she didnt spend a lot either. Plus she had just landed a job that paid half a million per year. Nice position to be in, right? Not to her. She was scared to stop working because the didnt want to run out of money. Based on standard assumptions about inflation and stock market returns, this woman could probably spend $240,000 per year for the rest of her life and still die rich. (Thats without taking into account her new $500k per year position!) Her spending was closer to $50,000 per year, yet she fretted about not having enough. Other folks are more extreme. Ive known retirees who have millions in the bank but who are so frightened of the future inflation! peak oil! stock market collapse! that they wont spend on needed home repairs and health concerns. What good is all of that money if youre dead or your house falls down around you? These folks arent harming anyone else (at least not directly), but theyre doing severe damage to their own well-being. They sacrifice happiness today in order to have more tomorrow but they never enjoy tomorrow. People with this type of scarcity mentality never have enough. No amount of money will allow them to sleep soundly at night. What if you feel like youll never have enough? Unlike those who suffer from jealousy and spite, you should keep score. Do this in two ways: First, keep a journal a standard daily diary. It doesnt have to be detailed. Write down the most important events from your life. And every day note at least one thing for which you are grateful. At the end of each year, go back and re-read what youve written. (This exercise will increase in value the longer you keep at it.)Second, track your net worth and spending. Know how much you have and how much you need. Remember this rule of thumb: For every $25 youve saved, you can probably spend $1 each year without worry. (If youre really nervous, you might change that to $1 for every $30 or $40 saved.) If you have more than enough stashed away and still fret about the future, force yourself to spend. Im dead serious. Pick something youve always wanted to do or have, and go get it. Money is a tool to build a better life. If the tool sits unused, whats the point? Instant Gratification Finally, there are the folks like me, people who find it tough to wait for what they want. Were shopaholics and compulsive spenders. With our flavor of the scarcity mindset, were so skeptical about tomorrow that we enjoy too much today. We want it all and we want it now. A decade ago, when I still struggled with money, I had nothing saved. No retirement, no nothing. What I ought to have been doing was paying down my debt and building a foundation for the future. Instead, I was spending everything I earned on books, comics, and computer games. It never occurred to me to wait. I wanted things now, so I bought them. As I mentioned at the start of this article, my therapist helped me to understand that growing up poor had given me a loathing of uncertainty and an inability to delay gratification. My money blueprint was largely constructed around a fear of missing out. During my transition from spendthrift to money boss, I learned to put off potential spending. I learned to wait for the things I wanted. Like the last group, people with this sort of scarcity mentality never have enough. But the lack manifests in a different way. Instead of needing more money, we need more Stuff. We buy and buy and buy and are never satisfied. Theres no amount of possessions that will make us happy. What if a feeling of scarcity drives you to always want more? Practice the art of deferred gratification. I learned this skill by using the 30-day rule. Heres how it works: When you see something you want, make a note of what it is, where you saw it, and how much it costs. But dont buy it yet.Over the next 30 days, be on the lookout for free or cheap alternatives. Does the library have that book? Can you borrow that tool from a friend? Could the local thrift store have a similar shirt?At the end of 30 days, if you still want the item then consider buying it. In most cases, however, youll find the urge to purchase has passed. Also practice moderation. Recognize that most things in life dont require an all or nothing approach. You can have some, and thats okay. Finally, keep a gratitude journal. The fundamental problem with this type of scarcity mindset is not appreciating what you already have. Force yourself to catalog the good things in your life. From Scarcity to Abundance A scarcity mindset leads to self-defeating behavior. It sabotages your chances for future financial success. Even when a Depression-type scarcity mentality helps you accumulate piles of cash, youre unable to enjoy it. Youre afraid to. Fear is always at the heart of scarcity: fear of failure, fear of the future, fear of missing out. Those with a scarcity mindset cling to the notion that theres a limited amount of everything, and theyre afraid they wont get their share. Well talk more about fear (and overcoming it) next week. For now, you should recognize that in order to achieve financial freedom, you must adopt an abundance mentality. If youre worried about lack, you arent free.

Ive already suggested several ways to fight specific flavors of scarcity. To finish, lets look at a technique anyone can use to move from scarcity to abundance: To get what you want, give what you want. What do I mean? In an amazing article from the academic journal Psychological Science, researchers suggest that giving time gives you time. The authors found that spending time on others (instead of yourself) boosts how much time you think you have in both the present and the future. Many of us feel pressured by the modern world. We feel rushed, as if theres never enough time to do what we want. We feel a lack, a scarcity, of minutes and hours and days. To cope with this, we tend to turn inward. We watch TV. We play videogames. We get a massage. But studies show that wasting time like this truly is a waste. When we spend time on ourselves, we feel like the time is lost. On the other hand, when we give our time to others helping friends or volunteering in the community, for instance we experience feelings of time affluence. Plus our time seems fuller. We feel better about ourselves and what weve done. And as a bonus: Giving time to others not only increases the givers sense of subjective time but can also increase the recipients objective amount of time, such that giving time contributes to the well-being of both the self and others. That, my friends, is abundance in action. The bottom line? When individuals feel time constrained, they should become more generous with their time despite their inclination to be less so. The same idea applies to other areas of your life in which you experience feelings of lack. When I started giving away and selling my Stuff several years ago, for example, I came to realize just how much I had. Before, when I was constantly in acquisition mode, I felt like I had very little. I was wrong. I had mountains of things! If you feel a lack of respect from others, give respect to others. If you feel a lack of compassion from others, be compassionate to others. If you feel like people dont love you, love other people. If you feel broke, donate time and money to the poor. If you feel like youll never have enough wealth, systematically give away some of what you have. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey writes: The abundance mentalityis the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity. The abundance mindset comes from understanding theres plenty in the world: plenty of money, plenty of love, plenty of time. Theres plenty for everyone both for you and for others. Theres plenty now and therell be plenty tomorrow. Enjoy it! A Real-Life Example of the Abundance Mindset While we were wintering in Savannah two years ago, Kim hustled to get her dental hygiene license for the state of Georgia so that she could earn some money. She spent a couple of days driving across the city, dropping off rsums and speaking with doctors. Soon she started getting calls asking her to do fill-in work while other hygienists were sick or on vacation. She also got an offer for a long-term position at a big office in town. Kim could have taken the long-term gig. In fact, she was tempted. What if I cant find any other positions? she asked as we talked through her options. This is a sure thing. Maybe I should take it in case nothing else comes along. After a few days of internal debate, Kim decided not to take the long-term offer. Im getting plenty of calls from other offices, she reasoned. Ill bet I can stay busy just with the short-term stuff, and thatll give me greater flexibility. Sure enough. Because she refused to make a fear-based decision, because she chose to believe shed have more opportunity rather than less, she was able to pick and choose when and where shed work. She had more offers than she had time. She constantly got new calls asking her to fill in. When we returned to Portland, she used the same experience to find permanent dental hygiene positions. She cast her net wide, then waited for the offers to come. And they came. By exercising patience and an abundance mindset, she landed two gigs that she loves. (Plus, she still gets fill-in offers all of the time.) Shares 531 https://www.getrichslowly.org/abundance-mindset/

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