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zillennial97 · 3 years

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Enemies to Lovers | Larry Fanfic Recs

Walk That Mile by purpledaisy | 149k | Explicit

Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes.- A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

Unbelievers by isthatyoularry | 136k | Explicit

It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

Or: The one where Louis and Harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything.

we're not friends, we could be anything by nooelgallagher, yoursongonmyheart | 115k | Explicit

Louis narrows his eyes at Harry. “What that supposed to be a fucking joke?”

Harry narrows his eyes right back. “It was a good joke.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Jokes require laughter, Curls.” Louis glances down at Harry’s thighs again, Christ. “Your pants must be so tight they’re restricting airflow to your brain.”

Harry wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead. “Pretty sure yoga is supposed to increase airflow, blood flow, and all that,” he responds dryly, finally jumpstarting himself and walking away from Louis towards his own bedroom.

Louis can’t help but stare at his broad back, still sheen with drying sweat, and his perky bum in the tight yoga pants.

Louis swallows. Christ.

...Or, the one where Harry and Louis are unlikely uni flatmates who definitely don't like each other and definitely won't fall in love (even if Liam and Niall think otherwise).

Our Lives, Non-Fiction by indiaalphawhiskey | 113k | Explicit

Heralded as the next Neil Gaiman, Louis Tomlinson does not appreciate being told that his very serious novel is in dire need of a PR boost. Even worse, that it comes in the form of a joint book tour with the UK’s #1 online romance-writing sensation Marcel Styles. Already turbulent at best, their partnership takes a drastic turn when, overly stressed about his looming deadline, Marcel accidentally blurts out a secret: though he’s famed for his scorching hot literary love scenes, he is, actually, a virgin.

Convinced that the only way to rid himself of writer’s block is to gain some experience, Marcel asks Louis, author-to-author, to sleep with him – for Science. And of course Louis agrees because, well, what on Earth could possibly go wrong?

Or, a lesson in romance that proves that sometimes the best love stories aren’t always by the book.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can't Lose by dolce_piccante | 112k | Mature

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Dance to the Distortion by Lis (domesticharry) | 96k | Explicit

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

You’ve Got My Devotion (Hate You Sometimes) by lucythegoosey | 95k | Explicit

Harry was in the biggest boy band in the world. He was also one half of the best (or worst, depends on who you ask) kept secret relationship in the music industry.

Now, almost five years on, after One Direction has broken up, and Harry and Louis' relationship has as well, a video threatens to put everything at risk.

One determined Irishman, a massive publicity stunt and two begrudging exes are all it takes to bring One Direction back to life and maybe, just maybe, Harry and Louis' mangled love life too.

Or: Harry and Louis are forced to fake-date after an old video from when they were dating emerges.

The Sidelines by RedRidingStiles | 47k | Explicit

"Alright, I know you guys are the best of friends but I'd like you to do this for the rest of the team,” Cowell says, making the rest of the team snicker. "So I want both of you to compliment each other." "I hate your trainers. I mean that in the nicest way possible. They're very...yellow," Louis says, arms crossed as he offers a fake close-lipped grin. "It's really nice of you to blow anyone you find slightly attractive," Harry replies, a sickening sweet smile on his lips. "Thank you, children, let me remind you this is a college hockey team. Try again," Coach says, completely unamused.

Or Harry and Louis play hockey for Penn state and can't stand one another, since they can't keep their hatred off the ice their coach and team do what they can to keep their hard earned spot in the playoffs and their two star players from killing each other

Wonderwall by AFangirlFantasy | 43k | General Audiences

Taking the sheet cluttered with times available for the next few weeks, Louis notices a pattern in the list. The name of the person Perrie had just mentioned: Harry Styles. It’s written at least seven times, and three of which are during timeframes Louis wants.

“Who the fuck is Harry Styles?”

“You’re about to find out,” she answers, pointing over Louis’ shoulder.

Or a Love/Hate College AU where Louis Tomlinson is the lead singer of The Rogue - the most popular band on campus - and Harry Styles is the talented Freshman unknowingly challenging all that.

All the Right Moves by cherrystreet | 32k | Explicit

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

Nicotine by KrisStylinson | 32k | Explicit

"We're two different types of people, Liam. He likes sex and drugs, I like theater and tea. Trust me, we'd never date." Except they would, they do, and neither of them plans on letting go anytime soon.

"Just because you can get me hard doesn't mean I like you," Louis whispered. The fact was, he didn't like Harry right now, not at all. Not even a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry murmured, his breath fanning over Louis' cock as he spoke. "You done telling me how much you hate me so I can suck you off?"

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups | 31k | Explicit

“Um…” Harry said slowly after a moment. “Okay. That’s… this is… Let me get this straight.” He lifted up a hand and swallowed. “You told your family that you have a boyfriend… and my name was the first one you thought of?” “Harry Potter was on TV, alright? It wasn’t that much of a stretch.” Louis pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn’t believe he was explaining himself to Harry fucking Styles. He couldn’t believe he was stooping this low. “Forget it. I’m sorry I even thought about bringing you into this.”

Harry snorted. “What? Did you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend or something?”

(Basically the A/B/O, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, Christmas AU that nobody asked for.)

We're Like Bumper Cars by sincehewaseighteen | 31k | Explicit

“I have won, I won the final cross country. I win, Harry--”

“Whoever gets to fucking nationals wins it, pretty boy,” Harry teases. “You haven’t won. Interhouse is nothing compared to nationals, or interstate. You haven’t even won interschool. You can dream all you fucking want that you’ve won.”

Louis becomes so ignorant he decides to no longer eye the boy taunting him. “Trophies prove it all, Styles.”

“Where’s your trophy for biggest asshole?”

“Where’s yours for winning cross country?”

Harry growls before hooking his fingers in Louis’ belt loops and bringing them together for a flat kiss.

Or the AU where Louis and Harry are rivals of the century and Cross Country competitors before things get complicated and they play pretend.

After Hours by Velvetoscar for shipsdrifting | 26k | Not Rated

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are the bane of each other's existences. Unfortunately, they're already in love--even if they aren't completely aware of this minor detail.

[A "You've Got Mail" AU]

When It's Late At Night by Rearviewdreamer | 25k | Mature

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

Love Me Please by angelichl | 23k | Explicit

Louis hates Harry, which is fine because he would really rather prefer to avoid him at all costs.

The only problem?

They're soulmates.

runnin' like you did by orphan_account | 20k | Explicit

“Should we tell him?”

When Lauren is met with everyone either nodding their heads or shrugging, she takes a deep breath. “I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious by now.” She stalls, sounding ominous and Louis doesn’t like it one bit.

“What is obvious by now?” Louis asks. He’s starting getting anxious. “I swear to God, spit it out. Stop being so damn cryptic.”

“I—We think it’s pretty obvious that you’re in love with Harry,” she states simply and shrugs as if she isn’t telling him he’s in love with the second—Nick being the first—most annoying person on the planet.

or, a college au where Louis knows how to hold a grudge and is definitely not in love with Harry Styles

Three French Hems by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews | 20k | Mature

In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

once bitten and twice shy by pinkcords | 19k | Mature

This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?”

Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.

That's How I Know by allwaswell16 | 19k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees.

Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

Get Off of My Cloud by Marora_Daris | 9k | Explicit

Harry is the most annoying neighbour that sexually frustrated Louis could have. Niall decides it's a good idea to handcuff them together.

Featuring guinea pigs, animal print leggings and inappropriate boners.

Erase My History, (Expo)se Me by BayouSexual, pacificrimjob for Edandcurly | 6k | Teen And Up Audiences

“My hair does not smell like strawberries.”

Louis blinks up at Mr. Styles. “I never said your hair smells like strawberries. How would I even know that?” Harry’s hair does smell like strawberries, Harry himself smells like strawberries, everyone who’s been within three feet of him knows this. ~~~~~~~~ Or the one where Harry and Louis both teacher history, their students think they should date, and one pink dry-erase marker is trying to ruin their lives (with a little help of course).

#larry fanfiction recommendations #larry fanfic rec #larry fic #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson #louis tomlinson #harry styles #one direction fanfiction #one direction fanfic recs #larry fanfiction masterpost #enemies to lovers #enemies to friends to lovers #hate to love #enemies with benefits

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allinmycorner · 3 years

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Grease is the word!

Dancing With the Stars celebrated the classic movie musical this week. Olivia Newton-John (Sandy) sent a message to the dancers and gave us some behind the scenes info about the movie throughout the night. Didi Conn (Frenchie) gave advice to some of our couples. Co-creator Jim Jacobs was in the ballroom himself and Teen Angel Frankie Avalon also showed up to croon his song from the movie.

The bottom two was probably the biggest surprise and this was the first time all season it seemed even the judges were shocked. I'm not sure what exactly happened but I do have to agree with the judges that the bottom two we had was not correct.

Let's check out how the night went!

Mel C and Gleb: Mel C was robbed! She should not have gone home but I also knew she was a goner once Olivia and Val were in the bottom two as well. Mel had a great breakthrough with her quickstep to "You're the One that I Want" and really let herself enjoy the dance. She also was vulnerable in her package and it felt so real, so raw. I wish she could've gotten through to another week and I look forward to seeing her again at the finale.

JoJo and Jenna: JoJo got the first perfect score of the season and I think her foxtrot deserved it. She and Jenna portrayed Sandy and Frenchie when Sandy decides she wants to make herself over for Danny. In her package, JoJo talked about how she sometimes didn't practice what she preached when it came to loving who she was and that she did have some self-esteem issues when she started but that like how Frenchie helped Sandy, Jenna had helped her. And their friendship really showed in their dance, which really enhanced. My only thing was that I wished they had used the lyrics cut from the musical for the movie, which goes into how the teasing has affected Sandy and contains the line "Don't they realize there's just one of me and it has to last me awhile?" which I think is a great statement. It also would've gone well with what JoJo had been talking about as well.

(Though thinking through some of the lyrics, it makes you wonder why Sandy even wanted to impress these people anyway. But we did get to learn that Didi Conn and Olivia Newton-John are still friends to this day and that warms my heart).

Amanda and Alan: This is what I want to see from Amanda! A beautiful dance but more pizzazz and character to it! It seems she found her way after playing Cruella. Hopefully she keeps giving performances like this and she'll make it to the finals, barring any more surprises in the bottom two from now until the finale.

Kenya and Brandon: Kenya was not in the bottom two! Yay! And she proved that Len made the right call to save her in her rumba to Rizzo's "There Are Worse Things I Could Do," which she dedicated to her grandmother, who raised her after she was the result of a teenage pregnancy. Kenya and Brandon were sensual but poignant in their dance. My only quibble was that I thought Brandon could've choreographed a rather big part better but overall, it was a wonderful routine.

Melora and Artem: Melora was thrilled to channel her inner Rizzo to dance a Viennese waltz to "Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee." It didn't feel like a natural fit but she and Artem made it work. She also had a lot of fun with it and it showed. She continues to do even better but I think her 10 last week inspired almost everyone else to step up their games as well. I don't think Melora has plateaued but she's going to have to keep bringing this every week until the end or she's eliminated.

Olivia and Val: They opened the show with a foxtrot to "Summer Nights" and Olivia showed off a picture from a Halloween past where she dressed up as a Pink Lady. So she absolutely loved getting to play Sandy in her dance and it was clear she had a lot of fun. She and Val handled the foxtrot well together so it was surprising to see them in the bottom two. I don't know if people thought their scores would carry them through or they were responding to the rumor that Val and Olivia were having an affair - something Olivia refuted herself and caused the video alleging this affair to be deleted off TikTok. Or maybe the audience has just decided that Olivia doesn't get to be redeemed just yet. I guess we'll see what happens next week.

Suni and Sasha: Suni continues to open up more and more. The Charleston was the perfect dance for this routine and Sasha choreographed it well. Suni really delved into the role of Cha-Cha and continued to have a lot of fun with her routines. I'm excited to see her grow even more and I hope she's around for a few more weeks though I'm not sure if she'll be able to make it to the final. I guess we'll see.

Jimmie and Emma: First, congratulations to Jimmie and his wife on the birth of their daughter! We got to see some footage of her and she's beautiful. And he was back in the ballroom, delivering a beautiful foxtrot to "Sandy." He and Emma were elegant and beautiful together, though they did have a few slips. Apparently the floor was really slippery, so I guess someone didn't properly clean it between numbers given how much was tossed onto that floor this week. But he emerged as the strongest male contestant and I think he could go all the way, though this really is the women's competition to lose. But given how the audience is predominantly women, men tend to stick around a bit longer than some probably should so we'll see what happens. Given the current breakdown, I do expect a few more women to go home in the coming weeks before we get to the finals. But it would be interesting to have an all-women finals.

Cody and Cheryl: Cody and Cheryl closed us out with their quickstep to "We Go Together." They managed to keep up the pace despite just recovering from COVID. But it does seem the quarantine may have hurt them. I have to wonder where they would be if they hadn't lost a good week of rehearsals together. Hopefully they can catch up because as affable as Cody is, I don't know if it will be enough if they don't increase their scores and the gap between them and the top of the leaderboard increases.

The Miz and Witney: We got to meet The Miz's wife and we got to see their sweet relationship before he and Witney danced to "Greased Lightning." His energy and dedication is always admirable but I worry he might be slipping. Everything is going to get harder from here on out so he needs to step everything up.

Iman and Daniella: Iman continues to improve and Daniella is trusting him more in frame. He does need to work on his feet - those were hidden during Disney Week but were on display here for the waltz to "Hopelessly Devoted to You." I'm sure Daniella can work on those and he might end up being the true dark horse of this competition. We'll see how the next couple weeks play out for him as we sprint toward the quarter-finals.

Next week is the annual Halloween episode and Sasha is still there, so he should have a lot of fun as everyone celebrates some horror movie classics! See you then!

#dancing with the stars #season 30 #ABC #melanie chisholm #gleb savchenko

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siren-queen-imagines · 4 years

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Jealous

This one was requested by the lovely @daughter-of-pan12:

“Hey I was wondering if you could do a request I have about Scott from teenwolf I was wondering if the story could be based off of halseys music video colors but Scott and the reader end up together in the end.”

So my darling, I changed things up a bit from the video but I still hope you enjoyed it!!

Masterlist Want Me to Ship You?

“Since when do you play tennis?” You asked Scott with amusement, smile on your face as he walked over to you from the tennis court.

“I don’t. Trying something new because Coach asked me to.” Scott shrugged, taking a seat next to you on the bleachers.

“Asked or demanded?”

“A little bit of both?”

The two of you shared a laugh.

“Well, plus side is, I may or may not have blackmail material. It depends.”

You showed him the photos you took of him playing on your camera. You were on the yearbook committee so you taking pictures wasn’t completely out of the norm.

“Depends on what?”

“If you like tennis...and how you feel about the shorts.”

Scott chuckled and looked down at his legs. If you didn’t know how he felt about them, you couldn’t use them against him. But then again, maybe he wouldn’t mind you teasing him. It’s something that hasn’t been brought up yet but Scott liked you...a lot. He didn’t know if you felt the same. I mean, even when he’s oblivious to it, sometimes he swears you’re flirting with him...so he’ll flirt back.

There were a few instances where you both caught the other staring at each other in class. Stiles had talked to him over and over about just asking you out. He was able to ask Allison and Kira...why was it so different with you? Maybe because with Allison and Kira, they were more romantic in the beginning while he’d been friends with you first. Would asking you out ruin that friendship if it doesn’t work out?

No. Not with you. You were too amazing to let a relationship ruin your friendship...assuming it ended amicably and neither of you didn’t do anything to mess it up. But he’d have to actually ask you out before this could even be an idea.

“Shorts aren’t that bad. I could go a little looser.”

You smiled and shook your head, a small laugh leaving you.

“Then these pictures aren’t what I hoped. Unless--”

“Not in the yearbook. I’m not on the tennis team.”

“Damn that’s true.”

Scott looked up to see Stiles stop walking. He then pulled out his phone and Scott’s phone chimed.

“Why is Stiles standing there staring at us?” You asked, slightly perplexed.

“I don’t know.” Scott replied, pulling out his phone.

But he knew. He knew that Stiles wanted to give you guys some time alone.

Did you ask her yet?

Scott sighed and looked up at Stiles who held up his arms as if to say, “huh?”. Scott quickly typed his reply and sent it.

“Hey, so are you going--” Scott started before his phone chimed again, interrupting him.

ASK HER!

Scott turned his phone on silent and put it back in his pocket.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Judging by your reaction it’s not important pack business.”

“No, it’s just Stiles being Stiles.”

“Is it explaining why he’s still staring at us instead of coming over?”

“No. It’s a long story.”

“Anyway, you were asking me something?”

“Oh yeah, um, are you going to the carnival this weekend?”

“Yeah. Me and a couple of us were told to go take pictures for yearbook.” You replied, slightly unenthusiastically.

“You don’t sound excited about that.” Scott let out a small chuckle.

“I’m kinda not because that means I’m going for fun reasons.”

“Well, do you wanna go with me? You can get some pictures and we can have fun...like a date.”

You froze for a moment, your eyes widened in surprise. Scott McCall is asking you out on a date? HOLY CRAP! You’ve liked him for the longest time, like since the end of elementary school, and he wants to take you out…

“Or we can go as friends, it doesn’t have to be a date.” Scott backtracked after your pause in response.

“No, no that’s not it.” You replied quickly after he backtracked. “It’s just--are you sure you’re asking the right person on a date?”

“Unless you’re not the real Y/N Y/L/N, I’m sure I have the right person.” He smiled at you brightly.

“R-really?”

“Yeah. Of course. I mean, if you want.”

“I--” You smiled, letting out a small laugh because you still couldn’t believe it. “I would like that.”

“And maybe we can invite Liam and Hayden. Double date for less stress and we’d be able to get some pictures for the yearbook.”

“That’d be great.”

“Awesome.”

The two of you shared bright smiles.

“MCCALL!” Coach called from behind them.

The mood was ruined, Coach’s voice startling the both of you as he called out to Scott from the tennis courts.

“Last I checked, Y/L/N isn’t a tennis ball or racket!” Coach Finstock continued as he walked over to the bleachers. “You flirt on your own time, two laps each!”

“Wha--me too?” You motioned to yourself in shock.

“You too, Y/L/N, get going!”

“I’m not even in--” You were interrupted by Coach’s whistle.

“That’s another for the both of you!”

You looked over to Scott in surprise before you both started laughing. What the hell?

=================================

Beacon Hills High School was throwing a fundraiser to raise money for the sports teams. The fundraiser was done in the form of the carnival.

“What should we do first?” Liam asked the group of you.

“Actually, we’ll meet up with you guys a little later. Y/N’s gotta take pictures for the yearbook so I wanna get that out of the way for her.” Scott replied, small smile on his face as he looked over to you.

“Yeah. We’ll see you guys in an hour?” Hayden agreed.

“Sounds like a plan.” You confirmed. You turned to Scott as Liam and Hayden walked away. “You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve gone with them while I walked around and took some pictures.”

“We’re on a date. For me, this is part of it and it’s not like we can’t have fun getting your pictures.”

Scott smiled and took your camera bag from off your shoulder. He opened it up and passed you the camera and one of the lenses he recognized from the previous day. You couldn’t help but smile as you attached the lens and put the strap around your neck. Scott had already zipped up the bag and put it on his shoulder before offering you his hand.

“You ready?” He asked.

“Yeah.” You replied.

The two of you walked around for the hour, taking pictures of some of the students as they played some games, ate some of the fried foods and the rides.

Your last stop of the photo tour, per Scott’s suggestion, was the ferris wheel and a photo from the top overlooking the carnival.

“Thanks for doing this with me, Scott.” You told him as the ferris wheel moved.

“No problem. It was fun.” Scott insisted with a light nudge of his shoulder. “We should definitely eat after we find Liam and Hayden.”

“Oh, that’s a given. I mean, we shared cotton candy but we need solid food.”

“I was thinking by the end of the night we try that deep fried twinkie you were talking about when we passed it.”

“I’m telling you...it’s really good. Hey, so I know we have spent the first hour of our date getting my work done before we go on a ‘date’ date, but I’m having a lot of fun.”

“I’m glad. Maybe we didn’t need the Liam/Hayden filter after all.”

“I think it helps that we were friends first. It helped us to be comfortable, I think.”

“Maybe.”

Scott put his arm around your shoulders before he pointed to the sunset as the two of you got to the top of the ferris wheel.

“It’s beautiful.”

“So are you.” Scott made a face and smiled. “That was so corny but it’s true.”

You laughed and shook your head. It felt like the right moment for this. It seemed Scott knew it too because he leaned in, meeting you halfway, for a kiss.

=================================

You and Scott have been together for the past month and so far, everything was awesome. Scott was an amazing friend but was also an amazing boyfriend. The transition from friendship to relationship was shockingly easy.

“So I was thinking maybe we can hang out at your house tonight. My parents are gonna be home and to be honest, I don’t wanna deal with the questions.” You suggested, closing your locker.

“Have you told them about us?” Scott asked curiously.

“Yeah. I just don’t want to divulge into our relationship with them just yet and then my dad tries the whole, “I have a shotgun,” thing.”

“Does your dad really have a shotgun?”

“He says he does but I haven’t seen it.”

“Okay. We’ll have to stop by the store after school so we can get some snacks. I promised my mom I’d buy some milk anyway.”

“Sounds good. Oh, real quick, you mind holding my camera? I have to pee real quick.”

“Yeah sure.”

Scott accepted your camera, putting the strap around his neck as you rounded the corner to the bathroom. While he waited, he turned on your camera to look through the photos on them. He smiled when he saw the ones of the two of you saved on the memory card. He scrolled to see you and him and your friends...but then...what the hell was Theo doing on your memory card in between pictures of you guys?

Why were there more than one of Theo? What the holy hell? Why were these saved in with pictures of you guys? Were you into Theo and just settling for him?

“Thanks.” You told Scott as you walked over to him.

You suddenly felt the change of Scott’s mood. Before you could ask him what was wrong, Scott pulled the strap over his head before showing you the picture on the screen.

“Why do you have pictures of Theo saved on here?” Scott asked, irritability in his tone.

“Do I? I thought I deleted those.” You replied with a shrug.

“How do you not remember? You have pictures we took last week and a couple more weeks ago saved in between these pictures.” Scott pushed the camera into your hands. “What the hell, Y/N?”

“Why are you getting so mad, it was a simple mistake?” Your tone changed to match his.

“Is it? Because you did have a crush on him before.”

“A lot has happened since then, Scott.”

“Well, it looks to me that maybe you still have something for Theo and you’re just settling with me.”

“How could you say that? I--”

“If you wanna be with Theo then go.” Scott shook his head and stormed off.

“Scott!” You called out but he didn’t even turn around.

What the hell just happened? You have never seen him get so jealous like that let alone jump to conclusions like that. The reason you had those photos were innocent. You sighed to yourself, fighting the tears and turned around to walk the other way to class.

=================================

“I think you read too much into it.” Stiles told Scott.

“I don’t know, man.” Scott sighed. “She used to like Theo.”

“And a lot happened since she liked him. He turned out to be a dick in so many ways and knowing Y/N, that crush died when he manipulated her too in his crappy plan.”

“But then Liam brought him back...she even mentioned that she thinks he deserved a second chance after what he’d been through where he was.”

“Doesn’t mean she likes him again. Look, she may have liked Theo but she’s liked you longer than him.”

“What?” Scott looked up to Stiles in surprise.

“Dude, I’ve been telling you for the longest time but you didn’t believe me. Maybe since she decided boys didn’t have cooties anymore, she’s liked you. She wouldn’t “settle” for you like you think she is. You know Y/N, Scott. She would never do that to you.”

“Then why wouldn’t she delete the pictures of Theo in her camera?”

“Maybe she has a good explanation for that. You’re being ridiculous and a dumb, jealous boyfriend. She hasn’t given you a reason to be.”

Scott knew that Stiles was right. You never gave him a reason to be jealous and he didn’t know why he was being like this. He could blame whatever but at the end of the day, there was no excuse for how he acted. He owed you the biggest apology.

“I gotta go. I need to talk to Y/N.” Scott said to his best friend.

“Yes, go. Let me know how it goes.” Stiles urged.

Scott texted you before he got onto his bike and drove to your house. You were waiting on the porch, sitting on the steps as he pulled up.

“Hey.” He called out as he took off his helmet.

“Hey.” You replied with small shrug, a tinge of sadness in your tone.

“I owe you an apology.” Scott told you as he sat down next to you. “I was being a jealous jerk for no reason.”

“You were.” You agreed with him.

“I should’ve let you explain.”

“You should’ve.”

“I let some insecurities I haven’t felt in a while get the best of me. I thought the worst because I remembered that you used to like Theo and then my mind went to how you might think he was better looking than me and I just fell down that rabbit hole.”

“Scott, the whole thing with Theo? That was over for a while. I could never be with someone who pretty much broke us all apart and pretty much killed you.”

“I know. I’m really sorry.”

“You know the only reason I have those pictures on there were for yearbook? I thought I deleted the files when I uploaded them to the computer at school so I never bothered to check.. And there were so many because he didn’t like how they turned out and I had no choice but to humor him.”

Scott felt stupid. Of course it was for that reason. He really should’ve given you the benefit of the doubt.

“I forgive you though.” You added.

“You do?” Scott’s voice was hopeful.

“Of course. I get insecure too and well…” You pointed up to the sky.

It was a full moon….how did he not realize that? Maybe because he was so caught up with everything going on with his relationship.

You let out the breath you had been holding when Scott shook his head with the look of realization on it.

“I was gonna talk to you tomorrow but you texted me to talk now.”

“It’s no excuse though. But I’m still so sorry.”

“I forgive you. Promise me something though?”

“Anything.”

“Even on a full moon, at least try to fight your instincts to walk away so I can explain myself?”

“I’ll try my best.”

You leaned in and kissed him. Apology accepted.

#teen wolf imagine #scott mccall x reader #scott mccall imagine #scott mccall

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taehyungsgrowl · 5 years

Text

Camp Souvenir - Xavier x Fem!Reader

A/N: Hey sweet friends! I was originally going to wait until the new season aired to write to Xavier fanfic, but I had some inspiration so here we are.

I know we don’t know too much about him, but I did try to give him a little bit of a personality.

Essentially, a fuck boy. But a nice guy overall.

Warnings: Sex, Oral (male receiving), use of camera

Description: Xavier wants to show you just how useful his clunky 80′s VHS recorder can be. (Basically y’all make a low resolution sex tape)

Word Count: 2 K

Yeehaw!

{gif by @violadvis}

Dancing along to the quiet music that played through her cabin room, Y/N started getting ready for bed. She and the other counselors had a long week ahead of them.

She stripped out of her clothes and into a large camp shirt from the year before.

A sudden rasp at the door made her yelp - (being all alone in the woods, could you really blame her?)

“It’s just me,” she heard him laughing from behind the wooden door.

Xavier.

Every summer, for as long as they’ve both been counselors, they had this unspoken agreement to be, well, for lack of better words, friends.

Friends who had sex with each other, (if only for the summer) but friends nonetheless.

She hurried to the door before some could hear his loud voice. Xavier was a lot of things, but subtle was not one of them.

She thinks back to the summer before when he made her cum repeatedly in the lake while the other counselors were only a few feet away.

Y/N cracked the door open, only allowing her face to peek through. “I should leave you out here tonight for scaring me.” she smiled, knowing full-well that he’d be joining her on her twin sized mattress regardless.

“Awe, don’t be like that, baby.” he put his hand on the door and pushed it open, letting himself in. She rolled her eyes, but stepped back letting him inside her cramped cabin.

“Besides,” he started to take off his teal color-blocked backpack, setting it on the floor and kneeling besides it. “I have a surprise for you..” she could hear the smile in his voice as he looked down, unzipping his bag.

Her cheeks flushed, but she didn’t want him to notice. “A surprise?” she asked sitting on her bed. Her long T-Shirt rode up her thighs as she sat. Xavier didn’t fail to notice that. His blue eyes trailed up her legs, to her braless chest, and finally to her face. Sure, she left little to the imagination with her sleepwear, but Xavier was almost eating her with his his gaze.

“Well..” he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, “Since it is our last summer together,” he tried to hide the disappointment in his voice. He really was going to miss warm night with her. “I thought we could make our own little camp souvenir.” he smirked.

“What? We’re doing arts and crafts now?” she shook her head, “I promise I’ll make you a friendship bracelet tomorrow,” she jokingly mocked him, pouting her lip.

It was his turn to roll his eyes now. “How sweet.” he quipped. Before she could make another smart remark he pulled out a clunky video camera out of his backpack. “I was thinking of another way to remember us by,” he pointed the camera in her direction, pretending to film her.

She laughed and tried to cover her face with her nearby pillow. “Oh, shut up!” she exclaimed, giggling nervously. He wasn’t serious, was he?

“I will not shut up,” he laughed as he took the pillow away from her to see her face. He was kneeling in between her legs, camera held loosely in his left hand. “C’mon what do you say? It’ll be fun,”

Her eyes met his again. They sparkled with a hint of mischief and his boyish charm shone through. There was really no way you’d be able to say no. Besides, a part of you burned at the idea of making a sex tape. The thought of behaving like a porn star for Xavier to keep forever made your lower belly burn in excitement.

Nodding slowly, she agreed, “Okay. Yeah. Fine,” she smiled, slowly becoming more and more comfortable with the idea. He could practically see the wheels turning in her head.

“Perfect,” he reached up to peck her lips before she could change her mind. He stood up and got his tripod set up adjacent to her bed. Carefully setting the camera on top and pressing Record.

Xavier, being who he was, loved the spotlight. Even at camp, you’d always find him in the center of attention. He loved having eyes on him. He was the perfect dance teacher because of it.

He walked in front of the camera, crouching down to ensure his face (and hair) were in the frame, “Camp Sexcapades; Take One.” he winked at the camera before turning back to her.

“You’re an idiot,” she laughed as he made his way back to her.

“An idiot you’re still gonna let fuck you, don’t you forget it, baby,” he pulled her up and switched places. With her back facing the camera, he pulled her in for a kiss. Large hands roaming down her sides until they came to your ass. Xavier lifted her large shirt, right above the curve of her ass and gripped it firmly, spreading her cheeks and slapping it once.

She felt his signature smirk form against her lips at his cheeky gesture.

“You’re cool with this, right?” he asked quietly as he held her face.

She decided to pull a gesture of her own; her hand snuck in between both of their bodies and grasped at the prominent bulge in his white shorts. She had noticed the outline of his cock from the moment he walked into her room. And here he thought she was the one who left little to the imagination.

“Don’t tell me you’re backing out now,” she teases him both verbally and through his shorts.

Xavier let out an almost shaky breath, his eyes glancing towards the red light that flashed from the camera. Not wasting anymore time, she dropped to her knees, but shifted so her side and profile was facing the camera - Xavier followed suit, giving the lens a clear view of what she was about to do.

Soft giggles escaped her lips as she nervously undid his shorts. No, this wasn’t her first go at this, but it was the first time being recorded like this and as much as it turned her on, it still made her nervous.

His long cock sprung out as she let his bottoms pool around his ankles. “So big..” she said quietly looking up at him. His already inflated ego soared, “Think you’re gonna be able to take it, baby?” he feigned his sincerity, giving her a mocking pout.

Y/N stuck her tongue out and licked the underside of his tip, allowing the movement to be shown, slowly. She imagined Xavier replaying this tape over and over, stroking himself while they were away from each other.

Wrapping her lips around his head fully, she hallowed her cheeks and began to bop her head down his length.

“Fuck.” he groaned, throwing his head back. She massaged at the veins decorating his girth with her tongue. Making soft strangled whimpers for the camera and batting her lashes for Xavier, she felt like an adult film actress.

Low grunts overpowered the music that continued to play in the room. “Go on,” he gripped her hair tightly in his fist, “Show me how much you like this, baby.”

Loudly popping him out of her mouth, she moaned, “Mm, I like it so much,” she wiggled her ass for him one more time before taking him back in her mouth.

His stomach began to tighten as the blood rushed and his cock throbbed. It took all his willpower to pull her off of him. With as good as she was, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer and he wanted to be inside her when he came.

“Argh, but I wasn’t done,” she whined, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“You’ll have plenty of chances to have my cum down your throat, don’t worry.” he helped her up before roughly pushing her down in the bed.

Quickly and clumsily, he took off his pullover sweater and tossed it on the ground, leaving him naked and ready. Climbing in between her thighs, as she sat up on the bed, he lifted her shirt above her head and discarded it along with his clothes.

Urgency taking over both of them, they both made an effort to take her panties off. She could feel the warm dampen spot between her legs grow with the anticipation he had built around it.

Pushing her back down so her head hit the pillow, he hovered above her. He leaned down and kissed her. Camera forgotten for the moment, he closed his eyes as his mouth explored her and truly kissed her for the first time since last summer.

Xaviers cock brushed against her bare thigh as they made out on the bed. Instinctively, she wiggled her hips trying to feel the friction where she really wanted it. He felt her move underneath him and used his own hips to hold her down. “Someones eager..” he mumbled against her lips.

“It’s been a whole year,” she pouted, pulling him back to her lips for another hungry kiss.

“Let’s make up for lost time then,” he bit down on her lip and aligned himself to her entrance.

Gently teasing her wet core, he slowly slipped inside her. She felt the familiar stretch of his cock splitting her pussy. Time after time he made her feel like this; made her feel like her first time as the familiar sting burned through her momentarily.

“Fuck,” he bucked his hips into her, “I missed this,” he pants out, feeling her clench around him, “I missed you,”

“God, faster please,” you beg feeling him stay still. No movement from his hips, but his cock continued to throb in her pussy.

He placed his hands above her head on the headboard for support and began to drill his cock inside her. His ass was on full display for the camera as he flicked his hips repeatedly.

“Feels so good, please.” she begged, feeling the tip of his cock inching deeper and deeper with each thrust.

“Taking. Me. So. Well.” he grunted, with each thrust he gave her.

She felt lightheaded and her legs began to tremble. Giving him open mouthed, sloppy kisses, she let herself go. Completely losing herself in the feeling her gave her.

“That’s right, baby. Cum for me.” he kissed her jaw and chin - anywhere he could place his lips, really.

All the while, feeling her nails digging into his back - he was sure he’d have the visible scratch marks tomorrow during swimming.

Xavier held on for her and didn’t release until she was cumming, both of their arousals mixing together. They were seeing stars brighter than the ones that shown out in the wilderness outside.

Even after finishing, he stayed inside her, letting his body go limp over hers until he came down from the rush he got. Once he finally rolled off of her, she felt their cum slip out of her cunt and drip on to her sheets.

“Fuck, that was...” she let the sentence hang in the air - still in euphoria.

“I know.” he agreed, both rolling over to face each other.

He reached forward and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Hey and for the record, X..” she hoped that the dim lighting would hide her blush, “I missed you too,”

She saw a sleepy smile spread over his face before he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

It seemed as if both of them had forgotten the video they were recording. Before drifting to sleep, they shared stories of what they had done in the past year and what their hopes were for the summer and beyond.

“I hope I still get to see you,” she admitted looking up at the dingy ceiling.

“Make me that bracelet you promised and we can work something out.” he laughed.

***

The next morning they woke up to the sound of her alarm blaring. She sat up in the bed, rubbing at her tired eyes. How Xavier could sleep through the alarm was beyond her.

Focusing on her surroundings, she noticed the black camera and tripod, looking directly at her. Red light still flashing.

Another blush creeped to her face as she recalled the night before.

She stood up and stopped the camera, taking the tape out of the side. Taking her favorite gel pen, she scribbled a message on the blank white label of the tape, “Camp Sexcapades; Take One” before neatly tucking it into his backpack.

THANK YOU GUYS FOR READING! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS!

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nanchan-night-owl · 4 years

Text

No No No No

By Shunya Shiraishi - July 31, 2020

Translated by Nancy A

“Thank you. Thanks to you Shiraishi, my life has changed.” The day he graduated high school I received a long message from him with content along that line. His name is, well, let’s called him Y here. I met Y at our high school soccer team before I switched to another school. As rookies, we both faced some challenge getting into the soccer team of this private high school where sports were popular. Wearing a crew cut hairstyle with a pair of black framed glasses, Y was a quiet guy with a serious look just like you can imagine in a picture. And his soccer was astoundingly bad. So, the story needs to go back to the first year of high school when we first participated in the summer camp, where Y first appeared in my memory.

After the 12th graders lost the last tournament, Y and I shared the same room at our first summer camp to the new team consisting of juniors and sophomores. It was like up to us how to divide the room ourselves. I was quick to form a group with the other three guys who I have been getting along well. We then welcomed the stand-alone Y to our group, although I do not remember whether Y has willingly accepted the offer without any resistance or not. Four of us were naughty kids. As a matter of course, we were fooling around each and every night. Every morning, Y became our alarm clock who woke us up for breakfast. However, one day, Y has finally overslept. As we fearfully approached the breakfast hall of our boarding house, there came the anger way out of our expectation. We started eating real fast the five plates left in the very corner. Even though we succeeded in catching up timewise, we received serious warning from the captain. After breakfast, the schedule was made to provide us 30 minutes of preparation time before everyone rode the bus and headed to a somewhat distant practice field. We boys, apparently sleep deprived, went back to our room to take a nap. On the other hand, Y was incredibly early getting ready, counting down the minutes until the time of departure as if he was the snooze function of a cell phone alarm. “I think we should get going.” Yet everyone ignored Y’s suggestion ten minutes before the time. We ended up leaving the boarding house entrance three minutes before. However, no matter where we looked, we could not locate the bus. They have left us! For sure we were late for breakfast, but we were NOT late at departure time. This country’s meeting time was really mysterious. We were angry and were even thinking to stay behind. Wait, we were the ones who managed to carry all the soccer balls for training. In other words, if we didn’t go, our senior members would not be able to practice with soccer balls at all. Delighted with the amazing retaliation, this time we all listened to Y’s suggestion of “let’s walk.” According to my vague memory, we really took our time eating ice cream while moving forward towards the practice field. After more than an hour walk, we finally saw the sports ground. While our senior members without a soccer ball were forced to hold back a practice match with the other high school team, they were practicing hard by running zig zag. Still, they looked happy.

That night, nevertheless, we were called out and pressed by our captain with two choices, “Shave your head. Or you leave the team.” Four of us were fast to come to the conclusion of leaving the team after this summer camp. Only Y shaved his head and remained there. No way our captain has expected us to leave the team. When we stated our will to quit, maybe feeling he was responsible, the captain then requested us with “please don’t leave.” However, except myself, the other three have then stuck on their loose idea of starting a band. They ended up switching to the music team the following week. I was the only guy with all the time in the world, who the captain came to visit every day begging, “Please. Shave your head and come back!” “We were only late for breakfast. Totally don’t deserve such big punishment as shaving our heads.” As I flatly declined his offer, the captain then started crying, “You don’t need to shave your head. Please. Just come back.” As one would expect, feeling sorry for the captain, I withdrew my team resignation. But the most pitiful was Y. As a result, only Y was punished.

Those who stick together through thick and thin would get closer. After those three exited the soccer team, sure enough Y and I shared more time together. And then, to Y whose life was only to go back and forth between home and school, I started changing his life in a crazy turn. Besides having fun shopping matching outfits at vintage clothing stores in Shimokitazawa and Ura-Harajuku, I made him changed from wearing glasses to contact lens. At the end, I even gave him a slight mohawk hairstyle. We have done tons of naughty things. From an outsider point of view, I might have looked like a bad influence leading one to be bad, but I felt that I allowed Y to enjoy a world that he has never been before. That was why things kept escalating. As a matter of fact, Y has smiled a lot more and spoke more. In school, he has become a popular guy. Even when I switched to another high school during my third year, Y and I spent a lot of immensely fantastic time together. We became best buddies until the day I got that long message on his graduation day. Our friendship could have continued and lasted without change even we went separate ways to different universities. But one day, Y has disappeared in front of me.

I did not realize Y’s agony. Back when I styled his hair in a slight mohawk, without recognizing his feelings, I decided everything for him. You should have done this and that. At that time, I have not remotely realized I arbitrarily decided everything and would not have permitted him of thinking what to do to himself. Since then, Y has made other friends, gaining different values, different situations, different standpoints, different goals, different thinking, and leading a different life. We have many friends in common. As I was happy to know that he has been doing well, I have stopped keeping in touch with Y.

Then after six years in January 2019, I received a message from Y saying “I came to see your act. It was totally fabulous.” He purchased his own tickets and brought along his mother to see me on stage. “What?! You should have told me. I would have gifted you the tickets,” I replied. A few days later, he brought his girlfriend and visited me backstage. I was probably more nervous to meet Y than to perform on stage. After all, I was wondering what kind of a man he has become, and what we should talk about. My staff has finally brought Y and his girlfriend over to the backstage. Y, who I have not seen for the longest time, was back to his original image of a crew cut and a pair of glasses. He was looking good! Darn it. Maybe I should turn his hair into a slight mohawk again. Stop it, idiot.

#白石隼也 #shirapages #shunya shiraishi

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dreadnought-dear-captain · 4 years

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You Asked, I Told

(Note, if this post shows up twice or massively delayed or just looks weird, it’s because it was flagged for adult content [??!] because I had a picture of Willem Dafoe’s face in a gif. I am not even kidding. Do with that information what you will. I’ve removed it and I still don’t know if/when this can be publicly viewed, I’m kind of lolling. So if you see a blocked out photo that looks like porn in your post, I swear it’s just a gif from The Lighthouse!)

Hello, amazing people. This weekend, I’m putting the final touches on my last draft of Baghdad Waltz Chapter 39, which will then go to the beta for one more round of edits. I imagine I will have the chapter posted in 1-3 weeks, which is close to record speed for me, especially since it’s around 30k words. I’m going to be talking about my writing process (at unfortunate length) for one of the asks, for those who are interested.

Please forgive me. I’m feeling quite verbose and a little squirrely. I blame living alone during lockdown.

It’s also Memorial Day weekend in the States, which is when we are meant to honor those who gave their lives in military service to this country. This is often confused with Veterans Day (November 11), which is honoring anyone who has served in the military and is no longer serving. This gets further confused with Armed Forces Day (rotating date, May) which is to honor those currently serving in the military. I know, super confusing.

There’s a wide range of opinions on how Memorial Day should be commemorated, which often involves gathering with friends and family for a barbecue or some other social activity. It’s the first major holiday after a huge holiday drought throughout the late winter and spring, which often makes people look forward to it immensely. Some people feel it’s inappropriate to celebrate Memorial Day with barbecues and fond social gatherings because it’s dishonoring the memories of those who can’t be here, people don’t take time to remember those who have died, people have no idea what the day is actually for, etc. Others, even some very vocal veterans, maintain that people died so that we could be here to celebrate in freedom, so why not relish this life we have? Many offer the caveat that it’s appropriate to at least acknowledge the purpose of the day, even if it’s just in a few minutes of quiet reflection.

Anyway, I offer this as a little food for thought for this upcoming long weekend.

(And in case you missed it, I posted a BW Timeline for your reference.)

Contains spoilers through Chapter 38.

[Takes deep breath]

I’m so glad that you are enjoying the read and that you’re finding it inspiring for your own work. I think my dedication to research for BW is threefold. 1) As this story evolved, I decided that I wanted to create the most realistic depictions of military, civilian, emotional, and physical life that I reasonably could. I will fully admit to lapses in this, deliberate and unintentional, because sometimes the plot just needs to go and I can’t wait around for a year-long medical discharge process for my character. 2) I’m in an academically stringent occupation, and because research is such a prominent part of my work life, it’s bled to my hobby. (IS THIS EVEN A HOBBY ANYMORE?) And 3) I get very easily and passionately obsessed with things and delight in getting “into the weeds” with a subject. Almost every research divergence usually takes me off track for at least an hour. And you will never catch me without an MTA subway map open in at least one tab.

But that wasn’t even your question! Sorry. Are you beginning to get a sense of why BW takes me so long to write?? I cannot keep my shit on track. As for the bibliography, YES! I plan to include that in my author’s note at the end. I wish I had kept better track of all of my works consulted over the past three years, but I will definitely discuss the importance of some of the main ones. I’m so thrilled that you are interested, and I’m excited to share them!

Thank you. This is such a kind thing to say, and I’m humbled and delighted to hear it, especially because our fandom is so blessed with some AMAZING fics. And asks certainly don’t have to be questions! I appreciate them all (except the flaming bag of dog shit ones, which I haven’t had in a while, hooray).

(Re: Chapter 37) Good question! I imagine Claire would want to keep the 1:1 conversation somewhat limited, as she is treating the couple as a patient rather than them as individuals. If anything, she might have somewhat superficially checked in to see if he was okay rather than dive into anything regarding the relationship with Bucky not around. That could be seen as a betrayal of trust to Bucky and could be interpreted as favoritism, which Steve craves and which Bucky is probably terrified about.

I am always pleased when people re-read and enjoy it or get new things out of it, even if it’s sometimes a re-read is a function of my slow-ass writing. I really want a story with good re-read value.

You make an excellent point about Bucky’s relationships. His friendship with Jack also had no real closure. Sometimes this is a factor of circumstance and sometimes it’s because of his avoidance, like a self-fulfilling prophesy almost. He’s learned that people betray you, either by hurting you or dying, so he creates conditions sometimes (often unwittingly) for things to go sour and end poorly, or he will simply make himself disappear so that he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to wait to see if he will be abandoned or betrayed. He’s not a guy who is good with goodbyes.

As for Thor, I totally see how it would read that way. I think Thor started out fishing for longer-term possibilities in a romantic relationship but then realized Bucky is really not a guy who is comfortable settling (which, as we can see, is true). As for why it seems more serious, one thing is that Thor still wanted Bucky in his life as a friend, possibly one with benefits. They have a lot in common, and it’s hard for veterans - and, more specifically, special operators - to find people in their lives they can relate to with these very intense life experiences. I wanted this to be a real relationship, but maybe not necessarily one that was bound to become a RELATIONSHIP. I think Bucky was very intriguing and attractive to him, and he very well may have struggled with his own vacillation between whether to take it seriously or whether to remain friends+. This can lead to mixed messages.

And we also have to remember Bucky’s notoriously unreliable narration, where he will see what he wants to see. Our perspective comes from him. We see the details he zooms in on, miss the one he ignores, view the relationship through the lens of his own contentious desire for a real relationship, even as he consistently demonstrates the lack of capacity and his fear about getting serious. I imagine Bucky has having an extremely poor ability to distinguish friendship from romance, and why wouldn’t he, given the most recent bit of history we have learned about him with Jack? He’s had a series of friendships become sexualized, and I think this affects his capacity to be discerning. Bucky’s radar for relating, whether friendships, romance, or potentially dangerous sexual situations, is terribly mis-calibrated. How confusing for him and for the people in his life. Of course, everyone is free to interpret the dynamics of any relationship however they choose. These are just some of my thoughts.

I really appreciate observations from the re-read! Thank you!

I watched the video and you are right! This is definitely a Bucky song. Bucky’s sense of self is by turns profoundly distorted and lacking in grounding, especially now that he’s not in the military. He’s been in a low key existential crisis since he was a kid and has turned to drinking and sex and war to fill this horrible void, and although I can’t speak for what the artists here intended, I certainly sensed those elements here for sure. (Also, what an interesting choice for a music video…)

Thank you for sharing! I’ll add it to the unofficial BW playlist in the author’s note, which consists of various songs people have associated with BW and shared with me.

Good question! I started off this story picturing the actors who represent the characters in the MCU, because I figured we’d be picturing that when we read the fic anyway (though my beta told me she doesn’t see them as the actors, more like artists’ renderings of the characters, which I find interesting). So when describing their physicality, I tend to refer back to the MCU, since this is technically an MCU AU. But the longer I go with the story, the murkier the resemblance feels to me, especially when I think about Bucky, IDK why. I have also been considering doing something more with BW after I finish it (i.e., converting it into a proper not-bajillion-word novel, sunk cost and whatnot), in which case I would definitely change the characters’ appearance, names, cut MCU Easter eggs, etc. So when I try to think of who these people might be in future iterations of the story, things get even more blurred in my mind when I imagine them.

I wonder how other people see them??

So, with regards to PTSD clinical teams, there is some variation across VAs in the system. Some focus more on military-related trauma, whether it’s war, military sexual trauma, accidents, etc. as a way of concentrating their services and managing supply and demand. From talking with providers in these kinds of systems, sometimes you just NEED a military-related trauma, but you can be treated for, say, a childhood trauma if it’s more pressing. Other VAs are very open in their criteria, and you can see them for pretty much any kind of trauma that qualifies diagnostically for PTSD (or sub-threshold PTSD) without question. That’s why I love the expression “If you’ve been to one VA, you’ve been to one VA.” That said, it kind of doesn’t matter what kind of PTSD clinical team is at the VA in Manhattan, because Bucky has so much military trauma that he would very likely qualify to receive services in any PTSD clinical team. They just might focus on childhood stuff (if Bucky actually let them, which is another matter entirely).

This is a great question! Thanks for asking.

I love a snarky asshole Bucky so much, and I’ve tried to temper this version of him with enough hard-earned genuineness to offset it a little bit. It’s such a tender balance with him, because if you back him too far into a corner, he’s going to let you have it. But if you give him too much space, it’s hard to pin him down and wring something honest from him. He’s definitely learned to use humor and sarcasm to deflect from painful or uncomfortable situations, and it’s a very adaptive short-term strategy that makes him both endearing and infuriating to others.

But ugh, yeah, shit gets so rough around Chapter 28/29. I don’t know how to feel when people have really strong emotional reactions to this story, because one part of me doesn’t want to contribute to the crappy feelings people may already be struggling with — especially in the times of COVID — but I don’t want to be afraid to dive into the hurt these characters are experiencing. That’s why I recommend checking in with oneself before reading to get a sense of how much emotional bandwidth is available to manage the immense problems of two people struggling so much. I also think that for some people it can be cathartic or otherwise not-bad maybe (?), based on the feedback I’ve received. I also really try hard to balance out the painful stuff with growth, even though it can be terribly difficult to locate sometimes.

In comments to folks, and here, I often talk about adjusting the ticks on your measuring stick for progress, where instead of leaps of progress over feet/meters, we may be observing things on an inch/mm scale. This story is my most sincere effort at a “recovery is not linear” narrative, which I think is so much more reflective of real life for a lot of folks than a straight upward trajectory. Humans are such creatures of habit, and the lessons these characters have learned through their lives about themselves, trust, relationships, and how to manage emotions are very deeply ingrained — often through traumatic means. These are the lessons learned the hardest, with the greatest perceived consequences for change, and it takes real courage for us to be able to try new things even once, let alone to establish a reliable pattern of behavior. This can lead to a lot of frustration for us as readers/writer, and I come from a place of this being okay, because we are encountering a parallel process with the characters, who are frustrated with each other and themselves about the same things. I do hope the pain/progress/joy ratios are not horribly out of whack most of the time. That’s another reason I like long chapters, because if this was just blips of sometimes terrible episodes in shorter form, I think it would be very challenging to not lose hope entirely.

But I’m so glad you’re finding the read meaningful, even if it’s sometimes painful and difficult.

(YES.)

And FINALLY -- (this is all soooo long, I’m so sorry.)

Oh, thank you for this question! My spreadsheet ended up getting too difficult to manage, and I actually had a small crisis six months ago about how the fic was going to end, because it just didn’t feel right. I had to scrap it and go back to the drawing board and really ask myself - what would these characters really do? Naturally, as a factor of their psychologies and circumstances, how will they bring this story to an end? Some advice I once heard about a “satisfying” ending is that it’s the place where there’s simply nothing more to say about the characters. There’s no more story to tell. I had to abandon all of my desires and ideas for a particular ending or concerns about making people sad or happy or excited or disappointed. I know that the only ending that will be satisfying is one that makes sense for these people. Anything contrived or backward-engineer-y wouldn’t feel right to anyone. I do have a couple of specific character arc things I want to happen, so I set those down as touchstones and said, okay, what would happen next? What would Steve do with this? And what would Bucky do with this? And what would they do with the thing the other person did? I take a very psychology and prior-behavior-based approach to plotting, almost all character driven. The rest is just figuring out what is supposed to go where and how to organize it.

I’ve converted everything to a Google Doc and have a very basic outline where I write plotty-plot stuff. I also have a “garbage dump” doc where I write certain lines I want to use or certain details I want to include somewhere. When I get into a new chapter, I’ll check the dump doc as I outline and write to see if I want to pluck anything from there. I have my outline open regularly to add to it. Sometimes I write scenes out of order, dialogue first, but that’s only if I really am excited about a particular scene and cannot contain myself. Otherwise, I write completely chronologically and have no buffer. I post things as soon as I write them.

As for your specific questions, I do have a “process” for getting into my characters’ heads. It helps to know them so very well and to have a firm sense of their idiosyncrasies and patterns of behavior. As you may have noticed, they repeat their patterns all. the. time, as humans do, but I also want to have them change their behaviors a little as things go and they progress. So I may wonder what they could do a little differently, why they would WANT to behave differently, and imagine what they would need to do to change their behavior. Do they need to take breaths? Do they remember the last time some shit went down? I really try to think of the “how” and “why” of every single action - from big blowouts to eye rolls.

So once I’ve figured out what they are going to do, I try to pinpoint the associated emotions I want to highlight. This is a whole separate process, because I have to think also about their internal versus their external emotional states. Steve, for example, will often have a discrepant inside and outside, because one of the truths about his character is that he is a chronic suppressor. There is also the issue of unreliable narration and interpretation of behavior. Steve might do something in a scene, but that doesn’t mean Bucky is going to interpret it the way it was intended. I have to think about their individual filters, which often reflect their internal beliefs about themselves. Bucky is more likely to read Steve’s actions as reflections of how BUCKY feels about HIMSELF (e.g., he’s disgusted by me because I’m disgusting) rather than imagine what Steve is really thinking based on his own experiences and beliefs about Bucky. I also attempt to convey some of the more second and third layer emotions that people have in situations, rather than only highlighting the primary emotion. Sad things don’t always just make people sad. Powerful emotions, for example, might make Steve feel out of control of himself, which could generate secondary emotions for him like frustration because he’s losing control. Part of the process in the construction of the narrative is also scrubbing what I’ve written for POV, because Bucky’s word choices aren’t the same as Steve’s, and in order to try to preserve the “voice” of each character, I often have to change the words I’ve opted to use, as well as the syntax.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of layering that is happening all the time. As for the dialogue, I have no compunction about saying the lines aloud, “acting” them to see how they sound, to get a sense of what tone I want them to say things in. Now that I think of it, I do a bit of movement-based stuff, thinking about how people sit and stand, figuring how many steps it takes to get from A-Z, what it would look like to lean against something, how it would feel on the body, etc. I try to get the most felt sense of things as I can. If I’m imagining a scene, I try to put myself in the shoes of the characters to the point where I feel the emotions, just so I can know how it reflects in my body and my mind and behavior. I have more than once gotten drunk and drunk-written drunk Bucky then gone to clean it up later, as drunk writing can generate some great content I never would have been able to come up with sober, but the form, grammar, spelling, etc. is often rubbish. I also talk a LOT to my beta about all of this stuff, and I have certain friends and acquaintances in the fandom who are my consultants for various things.

So, I’m somewhat method I guess?? Is that a thing?? I dunno. It’s not hard to do when you live and breathe a story. It’s required a deep level of interest in - quite possibly an obsession with - the characters and their lives. I adore my characters, not in a self-congratulatory way, but because they feel so real to me. So it’s a joy to plan and write -- though I do hate first drafts with a passion.

OH - I also sometimes fast-draft chapters, which I did for 39. That is, write as FAST AS YOU CAN with no regard for how shitty the writing is. I wrote 10k words in a week, which was a finished fast-draft for me, and thus I had a very good felt sense of what was going to happen in the chapter, which felt amazing. It requires intensive outlining before, and nearly every word had to be rewritten, but one of the greatest frustrations of a story for me is having blank space ahead. Re-writing is way more fun than first draft writing. I have fluffed it up twofold with higher quality content, which I did all in less than two months…!!

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Well, this is surely my most unnecessarily yammering YAIT in history. But I hope it at least conveys my enthusiasm for these wonderful asks! It’s so lovely to hear from all of you, even if I take an eon to get back to you. Hang in there, everyone!

@grimshady @hutchhitched @b0n3l3ssm1lk

(And thank you to @bae-buckyaboveeverything for the shout out. You made my day<3)

#you asked #baghdad waltz #asks

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salvatoreschool · 4 years

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Legacies: “Screw Endgame” Writers Preview The Episode

Executive Producer Brett Matthews and Thomas Brandon are the writers of tonight’s game-changer episode of Legacies airing at 9PM ET/PT on The CW and both writers hopped on the phone with KSiteTV yesterday to preview this story which sees Hope and Lizzie teaming up in a very Eighties-like setting at the same time a dance is happening with a similar look.

“Screw Endgame” is the title of this one, and it picks up with Lizzie (Jenny Boyd) now being one of the only people who remembers everything about Hope (Danielle Rose Russell). Some minor spoilers for tonight’s show can be found within; you have been warned! A post-mortem discussing more spoilery topics will be up after tonight’s show has aired.

On to the interview!

KSITETV’s CRAIG BYRNE: Can you talk about the choice in the writers’ room to make Lizzie the first person to remember Hope?

BRETT MATTHEWS: Honestly, it wasn’t a choice. It was one of those moments where it was just our natural instinct and on an undeniable gut level, but it’s like when you put your writer hat on and you go, “well, who’s the best person?”

It’s her, because who is in the worst situation?

Obviously Lizzie’s blood allegiance is to Josie — they’re literally twins. Hope Mikaelson is her frenemy at best leading into this episode, so Lizzie is just obviously the ideal person to be put into the situation because it is the stuff of great drama.

THOMAS BRANDON: The dramatic fun of it is Lizzie has such a hard time keeping a secret. She’s such a declarative character; she just tells everyone how she’s feeling at all times. So the idea of giving her a secret, to be the only one in the world that knew that Hope was back and having to hold that from everybody, just seemed like it would lead to some great episodes, and it’s certainly something she will struggle within the next episode. “How do I keep this secret, the biggest secret of all time?”

What can you preview about the Hope and Lizzie reunion, for the people who haven’t seen the episode yet?

THOMAS BRANDON:

What we discover is after the events of Episode 4 where Lizzie remembers who she is, Lizzie and Hope are thrown together and working together to solve a problem that I don’t want to spoil. The problem demands that they fight the monster before they can actually talk about everything that’s happened. Fighting the monster is their therapy, and it’s their way to get through all the choices that have been made where Hope came back and chose not to tell everybody.

BRETT MATTHEWS: For Lizzie, it’s like, they are in a life or death situation and have to rely on each other, but she wants to know the fundamental question of the season up to this point, which is why. “Why didn’t you tell us you were back?” That’s going to be the answer she is trying to find, even as they’re trying to survive the monster of the week.

THOMAS BRANDON: The really interesting journey for Lizzie will be once she goes through this experience with Hope.

What if Lizzie, at the end, kind of gets it?

What if Lizzie understands why Hope did what she did, and what if going forward, they decided to keep it secret, and how will that go?

Can you talk about how then 1980s settings came up when breaking this episode?

BRETT MATTHEWS: Yeah, I mean, that’s just where Thomas and I come from. We knew we wanted to do a decade dance. We’ve been trying to do one for two seasons now, because it’s a tie to our past and sort of thematic of it being tied to the show’s past. I’ve probably written a handful of those over the years of Vampire Diaries.

It’s sort of a tie to our pasts. We’re products that generation. We saw Star Wars, we wanted to do what we do for a living as a result, and that’s just where our brains go when it comes to nostalgia, when it comes to specificity, when it comes to a a decade, we really wanted to explore this very vibrant time in our minds.

Our cast, mind you, has no idea what the Eighties were. That’s sort of the fun of it, to view it through that lens. I think our director Barbara Brown, and our editor, Evan Warner, latched on to a lot of those same elements, being products of that same generation.

It just gave the whole episode a wonderful specificity, and a zeal and a passion that I think was the right fit for us. And it’s also the other stuff of Legacies. It’s the ridiculous wardrobe and the jaw dropping soundtrack. It’s all the great things, and let’s be honest, it was about seeing Matt Davis in an Indiana Jones costume. That’s really all that mattered to us as writers.

When writing an episode like this, were any of the song choices in the script, or was that all picked later?

THOMAS BRANDON: I don’t think any of the song choices were in the script, but we talked extensively with our director because some of the time, you’re going to take us in post, but some of the time if there’s choreographed dancing, or if there are camera moves that are being tied to certain beats or rhythms, you need to know in advance what those are going to be so the actors and the camera people can all practice.

So, it was a little mixture of both. We have a phenomenal music supervisor, Chris Moliere, who got us a list of over 200 songs, both originals and covers. It’s kind of a wacky thing to listen to like four covers of the same song in a row, hearing four different takes on it. And it was about us finding the surprising version. You don’t normally necessarily think of Take On Me as a romantic song, but you find the romantic cover of it.

BRETT MATTHEWS: Chris Moliere is really one of the best in the business at what he does. He’s exceptional. You think of all of the great song placements we’ve had over the near decade of doing this together, and it’s just amazing.

Do you think relationships in life are now less complicated for Hope, since very few people remember their histories with her?

BRETT MATTHEWS: I think I think the problem is, she remembers her history with that. And I don’t know, once that elephant exists in the room, that anything’s easy. I think in some ways, actually, it might be a lot harder.

Because, you know, friendships, relationships, ups and downs, you at least have that mutual history, and she’s in a really terrible position in the season where the history is one sided, and the burden is hers to bear alone.

So if anything, I would say it’s more difficult.

What can you tell us about what Sebastian is up to and how MG and Kaleb factor into that?

BRETT MATTHEWS: This episode gets to the bottom of exactly what kind of vampire Sebastian is. He’s a vampire from sort of the Vampire Diaries universe set in the world of Legacies, and what does that mean? Kaleb and MG are really the perfect spirit guides to usher a Gothic vampire into the modern woke world of vampires that a Legacies vampire exists in.

Sebastian is somebody who would be really comfortable having a beer with Damon Salvatore. MG and Kaleb live a very different lifestyle as vampires. It really is an opportunity for sort of self examination and reflection on some of the stories we’ve told in the past and in the same universe, but in a totally different palette. The world has changed so much in the short time between The Vampire Diaries and Legacies that Sebastian really is a vehicle for us to explore all those issues, and what that means.

THOMAS BRANDON: The best vampire to to create that tension in that and that contrast with MG. MG has definitely been the vampire who’s the most evolved, and who wants to change the stigma of what vampires are, and to change the definition of what vampires could be, and here comes this black-clad Gothic vampire straight out of another show there to kind of reinforce stereotypes.

It’s almost like MG’s worried that Sebastian’s out here making us all look bad. So he’s struggling not just with Sebastian, who’s into the girl he’s into, but he’s struggling with the fact that Sebastian represents a point of view that MG is trying to leave behind.

What has been your favorite part of Legacies Season 2 so far?

BRETT MATTHEWS: For me, the show is a joy. It’s about good things, and friendship, and the occasional tragedy. But what I love the most about this show is that if you have a good idea, we can do it. The show is elastic in all the best ways. It’s lighter, it’s fun. The show is exactly what I want it to be, and so that’s one of the joys.

Julie [Plec] has really created an elastic sandbox, and it’s really fun. I love the monsters. I love the characters. I love what the show is saying about the world. I think it would be harder for Thomas and I to illuminate things we don’t like about it.

THOMAS BRANDON: This year, it’s been the cast. I thought the cast was really good in Season 1, and somehow, they stepped up for Season 2. I’ve seen them do some really extraordinary work, especially when you get to be on set.

I’ve watched them approach a scene, and they approach it so thoughtfully. The greatest joy you can ever have with a writer is to write a line and then have an actor come up and deliver it in a way that even better than what was in your head. You feel seen and protected and saved as a writer. It’s like, “oh, thank you. You took something that was an idea and you actually made it real and lived in, and to the point where you forgot that you wrote it.”

BRETT MATTHEWS: It’s the cast; it’s the crew. It is the greatest joy for a writer. You write something, you put your guts on a page, and then people come along, understand it, and make it better. That’s really been the joy. I’d [also[ say that’s the joy of Season 2 is we’re not finding it anymore. We know what the show is. The actors know who the characters are. The directors know how the show looks and moves and so hopefully, we’re just another year better at it. I feel that we are, and I certainly hope our fans feel the same.

I feel very strongly about Season 2.

I think if you liked Season 1, you’ll love Season 2. That’s always the goal; to just get better every year.

You can find a trailer for tonight’s Legacies episode “Screw Endgame” below; some preview images can be found here. Our thanks to Brett Matthews and Thomas Brandon for taking the time to do this interview!

youtube

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rambling-bookworm · 5 years

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7 Literary Characters Who Have Influenced Me

How many times have you read a book, watched a television show, or seen a play or musical and found someone you could relate too? Or learned to see the world through a different lense? As Glinda once sang, in the musical Wicked, “there are people who come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn…we are lead to those who help us most to grow if we let them, well I don’t know if I believe that’s true but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.” For me this happens most often with book characters, I spend days, weeks even months investing in their story lines, their lives that have been created for me to get lost in and escape my own that I begin to connect, to grow and even to learn important life lessons that stick with me. Although many characters have influenced and shaped my life in some way, I feel that these seven literary heroines have most made me who I am today, especially literary heroines’ one and two.

7. Ella of Frell (from Ella Enchanted)

I first read Ella Enchanted in sixth grade. I remember loving the book so much I read it many times that year (as my worn copy will attest too! Haha). Ella of Frell taught me to be fearless and to never quit no matter how impossible a situation may seem. I related to her compassion, loyalty and kindness. I admired and respected how protective she is towards those she loves. And as young adult who struggles with finding my voice, I admire and constantly remind myself of Ella and how she found her voice and learned how to use it; we are stronger than we think.

6. Cath Avery (from Fangirl)

Never besides Anne Shirley have I ever immediately found a kindred spirit in a novel like I did in Cath. Like Cath I fangirl over things to the extreme (Disney, Newsies, RBD, Harry Potter to name a few of the many, many fandoms/ obsessions I have had over the years). I relate to Cath’s desire and comfort in living in her fandom and letting it consume her rather than living in the real world. She is extremely loyal and has trouble letting go of the people that matter to her. Something I can relate to completely, if I’m Cath then my cousin is Wren. As kids and teens we would both obsess over something and like Wren she would get over it fast, and I would get frustrated because I didn’t want her to leave me and the fandom. Cath has definitely taught me its okay to let go of the past and grow as a person---find different interests. She has also taught me that sometimes we have to let our walls down because we could be missing out on something wonderful and great.

5. Mia Thermopolis (from The Princess Diaries)

Mia Thermopolis’ introverted, opinionated, fight for what you believe in, dramatic personality influenced me so much as a preteen. Mia taught me it’s okay to be opinionated about what you believe in, especially when fighting for a cause that is important to you. She is also the reason I started keeping a journal because she made keeping a journal seem cool and fun because of how creative, dramatic, and witty it was.

4. Luna Lovegood (from Harry Potter)

Luna is my second favorite Harry Potter character. Her quirkiness and not being afraid to be her quirky self has helped me to embrace my quirkiness. As Evan Hansen says, “The things that make you strange are the things that make you powerful.” And Luna is an excellent example of this.

3. Elizabeth Bennet (from Pride and Prejudice)

Through the intelligent, quick witted, woman who was ahead of her times, Elizabeth, thirteen year-old me learned it’s okay to be intelligent, opinionated, stubborn in your beliefs and family oriented. To love the people in my life faults and all.

2. Hermione Granger (from Harry Potter)

My favorite Bookworm and Harry Potter Character, besides Dobby of course, Hermione taught me to embrace being a bookworm. And that lesson was important to learn as a nine year old, who just wanted to fit in with her non-bookworm cousins and friends. But, like Hermione, I learned that those who are truly your friends and care about you will accept you bookworm and all! I admired her loyalty to her friends and her strength. She taught me to value friendships and to fight for the voiceless. Hermione is an awesome human being I still aspire to become.

1. Anne Shirley (from Anne of Green Gables)

No literary character will ever describe me as much as Anne with an “e” does because we have sixteen years of being kindred spirits. I first read Anne of Green Gables, at ten years old and I never have felt so understood! Like Anne, I am dramatic, stubborn, a chatterbox and a daydreamer. I learned to embrace my imagination and creativity. Anne’s optimism despite the hardships she faced so early in life constantly remind me to look at my life through a glass half full lens because after all “tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it, yet.”

Thanks for reading!

#literary heroines #anne shirley #anne of green gables #princess diaries #mia thermopolis #hermione granger #luna lovegood #elizabeth bennet #pride and prejudice #harry potter #fangirl #cath avery #ella of frell #ella enchanted #booknerd #bookblogger

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turboknucklehead · 5 years

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The Howling (1981) I love you, Bob.

My experience in high school wasn’t much different from yours.

There were cliques — The cool girls. You know, the mean ones with sharp teeth. There were nerds. The kids who did magic tricks in the B wing of the school. You had the band geeks, too, who almost always grew up to be smoking hot. The jocks, specifically the hockey players. The ones who made you the butt of their jokes in English class and you could never pinpoint exactly why. And finally, the crippling anxiety and depression that followed you to class, Monday through Friday. Unless you were like me and averaged a three day school week (at best).

Then I met Bobbi.

Bobbi was a weird Christian kid with skinny, black eyebrows. She often wore slip-on shoes and tattered red flannels. Her favourite bands were Every New Day, Bane and Wounds Run Deep. She was cool, tall and a bit of an unattainable loner. I had never wanted to be friends with anyone so badly, so fervently until Bobbi. She knew the secret to find peace in solitude and I wanted in.

I remember the first time we hung out. Bobbi usually attended youth group on Friday nights. However, this particular Friday we made plans to watch movies in her basement. We drank most of a case of grapefruit soda that night with her weird, fat cat - a truly special treat. I think my love of Old Dutch Salt and Vinegar chips started here. She had obtained the first in a horror series from the music store where she - and later I - worked. That movie was called The Howling and it was the coolest fucking movie I had ever seen. Throughout the duration of the film, we mostly took pictures of each other and tried to spoon her cat. The Howling was the soundtrack to our evening; spliced with awkward chortles and laughter. It was perfect.

Through our union of Lonely Hearts, I found the courage to force myself into unfamiliar environments and communities. I started meeting new people, going to shows and spending healthy, pro-social time with her and her family. I began reading more, writing more and listening to music. I began to attend classes more regularly as I was excited to see my new friend every day. If I were Karen White, that would make her Terry. Our high school, The Colony. Throughout the Howling, Terry fights alongside Karen and becomes part of whatever problem she faces. She doesn’t question Karen’s concerns. Instead she supports and accepts her bullshit - ready to fight. Karen White is annoying. There is no question there. But Terry loves and supports her and you can sense while watching the film how Terry’s presence soothes the presumably innate nature of Karen’s irritating ways. Karen needs Terry. Sadly, Terry dies following an altercation with werewolf bad boy Eddie Quist. And although Karen is broken up about her doucehbag husband who also meets an untimely demise, I believe wholeheartedly that Karen fights and exposes the truth about werewolves for her love of Terry. There’s something unmistaken, unshakable about female companionship. It almost cannot be put into words. Female companionship is enduring and strong. It can pull you from the darkest depths. It can support you while you trudge the steepest of hills. It knows no bounds and respects few boundaries. Neither man nor animal can come between it. Bobbi made me realize this. Bobbi opened my eyes to the importance of boosting your girls, embracing your own unique weirdness, and the power of unflinching friendship. She rescued me. My soul, complete. I found the courage to be resilient and confident in my everyday. Bobbi's friendship single-handedly propelled me from the painfully awkward existence that is adolescence to one of a more normal lens. Without Bobbi's friendship and guidance, I don't know where I'd be today.

She was the werewolf bite I didn't know I needed.

#thehowling #karenwhite #joedante #garybradner #thehowling1981 #1981 #horror #horrormovies #horrorfilm #deewallace #werewolves #eddiequist

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ashtonsunshine · 6 years

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A thank you letter to 5SOS

Hello, you! 😊

I'm Carmo, I'm 24 and I'm Portuguese.

I recently participated in a contest to win two tickets to see you live in London on the 29th of October. However, and unfortunately, I didn't win, so my chances of seeing you guys perform live are nul at the moment. For the contest, I had to create a cover for your album but with my face on it, and if you want to see what I designed, I attached the cover to this email. I'm very proud of what I created and I hope you like it, too.

But the point of my email isn't that. I want to tell you what you meant and currently mean to me, if you'll hear me out.

So, back in 2012, when Louis tweeted you guys, I went and ckecked you out. I have to be honest, at first I wasn't very into your music. It was different from what I was used to listen to at that time. After a couple hours searching for you on YouTube and getting to know you and what you were working on, I was hooked in the best way possible.

At the time I wasn't in my greatest mental shape and I was struggling with university and anxiety, and basically life in general. What kept me going and fighting for something better for myself was your silliness and your encouraging music.

By the time you released Sounds Good Feels Good, I was already at a different university taking a different degree where I met my kind of people: creative, fun and always ready to help out. I was happy for the first time in many years, my anxiety was reduced to almost non-existent, I found love and true friendship. I don't know if this is too much information but I'm here to tell you the truth so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. My boyfriend at the time was a bassist and a guitarist so I showed him your album and he liked it. He liked The Girl Who Cried Wolf and said that it had a beautiful melody and also tried to play it on the guitar. On my birthday, he offered me LIVESOS and you should have seen the stupid smile on my face. He may have never understood my love for you guys, but he respected it. My heart bursted with joy, because I couldn't afford music at the time. Hell, I still can't!

We're in 2018 now and the other week I decided to give a listen to SGFG through and through, and I have to tell you that that album has a special place in my heart. It opened up my mind and my heart to the world and it made me realise that life isn't just this, that life can be much much more than what it is now. The whole New Broken Scene thing was and still is very important to me. So thank you for that!

Now, let's talk about Youngblood! I was not expecting this new style, at all. When I first heard Want You Back I thought "Oh, this is different... I like it!". I know you guys wanted and needed to grow and change your music style and, if I'm honest, I'm glad you did. I'm glad you had the courage to come out and say This is us now!, because it just shows how proud you are of your work, of your evolution, and how unafraid you are to show us your journey as musicians, performers and people.

As you have mentioned several times, fans have grown with you and I completely agree. I certainly have. I still love heavy guitars and sick drums but I can now appreciate the smartness of a well built track where the placement of each instrument is studied in order to create an effect on the listener. For example, when the guitar comes in in Talk Fast, or when the bass drops in if Walls Could Talk, or the heavy drums in Meet You There. All amazing choices that I deeply appreciate.

However, I do have to admit that my favourite track is More. For the lyrics and the instrumental. I just connected to it when I first listened to the whole album when it came out (I'll get to this later). I think the song reflects my situation with my mother. I know that that's probably and most likely not what it was written about but what can I do? 🤣 No, but seriously, which one of you wrote the line "We're speaking different tongues communicating right through the bedroom wall" ? I need to thank you for that particularly, because it's perfectly written and it expresses this sense of distance that I could never find words to define. It's like no matter how much we talk we'll never understand each other and that's the most distant distance can get between two people.

Now about the album drop. You guys decided to drop the album a week earlier and, while I wasn't expecting it, this news reached me at a great time. By dropping it earlier, you ended up releasing the album on my birthday and it was the best present I could have gotten. The thing was that I was broke and I couldn't buy the album and I was already resigning to listening to it on Spotify on random with other songs coming in between the ones on Youngblood. I wrote this on my blog and some lovely people in this fandom decided to message me saying they would buy me the album. They just popped up from nowhere. We weren't even mutuals on social media and they were willing to spear some of their money on me. I can never thank them enough. It was one of the kindest things this fandom has done for me. I didn't let anyone buy me an album, obviously, but there was this person who had already bought a bunch of things from your website so they had an official download link for me to download the songs from. I took it and I'll never forget this kind gesture. Haven't these people helped me, I would have listened to Youngblood on random with ads popping up in between songs and my first listen would have been ruined.

You have incredible fans who are always ready to help and lift other fans up. I cannot express how much love I have received from this fandom. The last episode of love shower was when I entered the contest I told you about in the beginning. Everyone was rooting for me and everyone wanted to see what my covers looked like. When I receive the news of my defeat, they were there to cheer me up and to tell me my covers were great and well done. This fandom is a big love boat: sometimes it rocks a little, but most of the times it's cruising.

I don't know what else to tell you. This email is getting too long. If you're still reading this Hi! Go get some water! You've been here a long time! 😊

I'm going to wrap this up with the music videos, most recently the Valentine one. Don't get me wrong, the Want You Back and Youngblood videos are amazing on their own. I love the colour light boxes concept and having a Japanese music video with a storyline to it was brilliant. However, and me having studied Audiovisual Communication at university, the music video for Valentine was the one that stuck with me the most. The whole black/red/yellow aesthetic with the glitter and flash coloured lights and foggy lens effects added so much to the light and dark tone of the song. Also the choices in aspect ratio to centre our focus on your eyes and lips was brilliantly made. And then there's the skeketons. I don't know what you guys wanted to convey with those: if it was either the dark side of love or the representation of la petite mort. If it was the latter, I have to applaude you, because it was a fantastic idea.

I guess that's all I have to tell you, for now, at least. Thank you for your music and for your courage on speaking up about all these mental health issues that most of us face. Thank you for your strength and for your laughter. Thank you for encouraging us all to better ourselves as people and as professionals. But, most of all, thank you for all the love you guys have for us. We are grateful. I am grateful. And I love you guys back.

With love,

Carmo

P.S.: Take care of yourselves out there in the big wide world, okay? I hate to be the mom friend but I can't help it. I just want you guys to be healthy and happy. Truly.

Now, go drink some more water! 😊

#carmo says things #a thank you letter.#5sos #personal #text

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maevefiction · 6 years

Text

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 34

We spent the remainder of our summer and early fall in London living like normal people and doing normal things. I’d get up and head into work each morning, my main focus having shifted to overseeing Trudy’s progress on the app and delving into creating pages on the Prosper site for all our clients, while Tom kept his social media activity at the level we’d agreed upon, in conjunction with working out, running lines for Skull Island, meeting with BFI and UNICEF, as well as reading the rest of the Vampire Chronicles.

Each night, we’d either eat in or go out to one of Tom’s favorite spots for dinner, and each weekend he’d take me to what he considered a ‘cannot be missed’ landmark or locale. Sundays were usually cinema day, my personal favorites we viewed being The Man From U. N. C. L. E. and American Ultra. Tom was fond of Before We Go, but I pointed out that he had to like it otherwise Captain America would kick his sorry ass, because he already had it out for him over the whole Loki wearing his suit thing. Interestingly, other than a random pap here and there in the heart of the city, we were essentially left to our own devices. No one seemed to care that we were walking around Regent’s Park drinking tea and coffee, having pizza, or grocery shopping. There were fans on occasion, and Tom was always gracious, stopping for a selfie and/or a chat, with me waiting in the wings or taking pictures. I had known it was possible to maintain some degree of anonymity no matter the level of fame involved, and now I’d come to the conclusion that it had a lot to do with the behavior of the celebrity themselves and directly proportional to the size of their entourage. Which we didn’t have, nor wished to have. Granted, Tom had yet to achieve rock god status, but still…if we smiled, waved, and moved on, so did everyone else. People being people.

Two weeks after his sisters had been informed of their father’s infidelity and misdirected their anger at Tom, Emma came over to our flat and they Skyped Sarah, talking through tears and shouts for two hours before apologizing to each other and realizing that the blame lay with no one other than Diana and James themselves. It was a huge weight off his shoulders, and it allowed us to move forward, both of us having dealt with our pasts as well as we could for the time being. Healing, learning, and discovering more and more of each other with every day that passed. Mundane things, like what kind of toothpaste either of us preferred, when we’d learned out times tables…the feeling that I’d always known him becoming increasingly prevalent and so very welcome. While I’d recognized that we were not only lovers but friends as well that night when I willingly shared my Ben and Jerry’s with him at the beach house in Hawaii, I couldn’t have imagined how deep that friendship would become. We lived, we loved, we laughed, and it was astounding to me that I could feel such…peace.

In mid-September the insanity began, both of us going on the road for the promotion of not one, not two, but THREE projects, High-Rise, I Saw the Light and Crimson Peak. The San Sebastian Film Festival, Toronto International Film Festival (where we ran into Norman, there promoting Sky, whose premier he invited us to and we attended), the BFI London Film Festival…it seemed endless, the screenings, Tom doing interview after interview, photoshoots and photo calls, Q & A sessions. How he managed to keep which project he was promoting at which event was a mystery to me, and I found myself asking him ‘dude, what’s this one for again’ more than once, and I spent nearly every moment behind the lens of a camera.

Nights were when I edited what I’d gathered and emailed it to Tom, who’d then post it all across his social media accounts. Then came updating the website, followed by fast and furious fucking, then sleep. At some point in all the chaos he‘d dragged me into a coatroom and fucked me from behind, but the when and where wasn’t the slightest bit important at the time so determining its actual geographical occurrence is now impossible…but other than that, we behaved ourselves, acting like grown-up professionals with jobs. I enjoyed just fading into the background and watching him shine. His performance in all three films blew me away, but High Rise was my favorite story. The abortion scene in I Saw the Light made me cringe, especially when I considered how he must have felt filming it, so soon after what he’d been through in his personal life. As soon as it was over, he’d leaned over and kissed my cheek, his hand in mine, both of us squeezing gently.

October twelfth found us in New York City, staying at my apartment, me packing up boxes to be shipped to London that week. My books, the rest of my clothes, and my computer. The rest would remain for when we visited, and while I knew I’d never sell the place, I also knew London had, in an obscenely short period of time, become home. The New Orleans house had been completely cleaned out, the August estate sale netting upwards of one hundred thousand dollars, and Tom made good on his promise to donate a matching amount to the women’s shelter while the actual proceeds were delivered to Will’s wife anonymously. I wasn’t sure what to do about renovations, but was hoping to stop in at some point during the holiday season and think it through.

The fourteenth was the NYC premiere of Crimson Peak, and we’d agreed that while I’d attend, I wouldn’t walk the carpet. He’d balked, at first, but I’d convinced him that doing so would allow everyone to focus on him and his co-stars, which was exactly where the focus BELONGED. I wore the black version of the red dress I’d worn to Daniel, and spent the entire limo ride back to the apartment following the after-party with his face buried in my breasts.

We flew to Nashville on the seventeenth to prepare for the premiere of I Saw the Light…Tom’s anxiety level ratcheted up to a nine, dreading the possibility of an appearance by Claudia. I steeled myself as best as I could, but, thankfully, it was completely unnecessary. The director wanted the venue to be small and down-home, so only bare-bones cast invites had been extended. Meeting his co-star Lizzie was a blast…she was friendly, funny, dorky and gorgeous. The two of us hung out in front of the stage as Tom performed for the crowd, dancing like a couple of idiots and singing along. He was incredible, those damn hips distracting me to no end, and his SMILE, my lord. He’d tried to teach me some guitar chords while we were on the road, but, as expected, I sucked in a way that no one had probably ever sucked before and decided once and for all that being able to sing was enough musical talent for one human being.

Principal photography for Skull Island was slated to start on the nineteenth on Oahu, but Tom wasn’t needed on set until November second so we decided to take a holiday the two weeks prior on Kauai. He’d even managed to sweet talk the reservations gal into giving us the same room…the one I’d been staying in when we met, number 203. As soon as we arrived, we both changed and headed out to put our toes in the sand, which is how we spent most of our time for the next ten days. At long last, my ass was on the fucking beach and it was pure, unadulterated bliss. The nights…that’s when we made up for lost time, screwing each other senseless until we passed out from exhaustion.

Luke and Simon joined us on the twenty-ninth, a short birthday celebration jaunt for the latter. On the thirtieth we all went out to Nawiliwili Tavern to celebrate him turning thirty-eight, and I karaoked so much my throat hurt the next day. And really, it was just from singing. Really.

On the morning of my birthday, I left Tom snoring in our bed to watch the Halloween sunrise from the balcony, a knee-length tropical print satin robe wrapped around me. I’d become a fan of robes…easy to slip on, even easier to rip off. Both of us slept naked, and with all the hotels, room service and sex whenever we could squeeze it in while traveling, it was an excellent way to prevent me from answering the door in the buff. I leaned on the railing, listening to the waves crashing, watching the three joggers heading down the beach leaving sand flying in their wake. Thirty-eight. I wasn’t sure how the fuck this had happened, yet here I was, two years away from forty, the biological clock that had been silent before meeting Tom now ticking away loudly. We both baby goggled, and while we were still back in London we’d had lunch with Ben and his wife, each taking turns holding their baby. I’d caught Tom staring at me, his expression making me want toss my birth control pills in the garbage…full of adoration, love, want and so much more. And him holding such a tiny being in his huge hands…too precious for words.

Last year on this day I’d been working, giving a seminar in Chicago, and my celebration had consisted of six donuts at eleven-thirty PM in my hotel room while I watched the Matrix. This year…other than a costume party at Rob’s Good Times Grill in the evening, I had no clue what was in store for me. I reflected on how much my life had changed, and how I was so incredibly blessed, realizing that I’d be perfectly content to spend the entire day in our room, talking, laughing, dancing…all those simple things that made me genuinely happy. Me. Happy. Something I never thought I’d be, yet here I was. Standing on the balcony of the room where we’d first been intimate, on the island where we’d fallen in love. Grateful tears welled up, spilling over and running down my cheeks, and as I wiped them away I felt hands on my shoulders, followed by a kiss on my neck.

“Good morning, birthday girl.” I turned to face him, and he immediately noticed that I’d been crying. “You okay, love?”

“I’m amazing. Happy tears. Actually, grateful tears. Just thinking about how different things are from last year, and…”

He pulled me to his chest, smoothing my hair as he placed a kiss on top of my head. “I love you, my Maude.” He let me go, hands sliding around and down to grasp my forearms, grinning. “So, ready for your present?”

I poked his chest with my index finger. “Dude, you PROMISED me, NO PRESENTS. The time we’re getting to spend together here before you start filming is my present, and every day with you is a gift ANYWAY so…”

Several beats of uncharacteristic silence followed. “Well look at you, leaving me at a loss for words.”

Wrangling free of his grip, I clapped excitedly. “That’s like a whole ‘NOTHER present, man. WOO HOO!”

He laughed, a drawn out ‘ehehehehehe’, ceasing only when we thought we heard someone yell for us to shut up. We ran back inside and closed the balcony doors behind us, sat on the bed and perused the breakfast menu. I opted for scrambled eggs, pancakes and bacon, and Tom decided upon an egg and cheese omelet. After eating quickly, we showered together, and as we dried off in the main area of the room he cleared his throat nervously.

“So, um…I was wondering if maybe you’d like to take a ride out to Talk Story today? I thought perhaps you’d want to pick up some new reading material for while I’m shooting?”

The man knew the only time I had to read these days was when I was on the toilet, but I went with it because, BOOKS. And I’d wanted to go there before we moved on to Oahu anyway, even if it was just to look around. The origin of us. A huge grin spread across my face.

“That sounds fucking epic, babe. What time is it now, like eight-thirty? They open at ten, and the trip there is an hour…”

“Shall we see if Luke and Simon want to join us?”

I snorted. “Ha, if Simon’s even awake yet it would be a bona-fide fucking miracle…but sure, why not? It’d be cool for them to see where we met. God, I’m such a romantic saphead asshat. Gross.”

He laughed, wrapped his towel around his waist and grabbed his phone off the desk. I returned to the bathroom to brush my teeth, only hearing bits and pieces of the conversation. After hanging up, he joined me, eyes on my reflection, and the memory of him fucking me right there four months ago made me shiver, goosebumps pebbling my flesh.

“Believe it or not, they’re not only awake, they’ve had breakfast. Or at least Luke has. Simon appears to be on a liquid diet so far today.”

I spit a final time then spun around, brows raised, and he chuckled.

“What I MEANT was he’s too hung over for food, little miss filthy dirty mind.”

I slapped his ass as I walked out of the bathroom to get dressed. “You fucking love it.”

“Oh, I absolutely do.”

Black bra and panties, grey hiking shorts…but I figured I should ask what he was wearing before I picked out a shirt.

“Babe, what are you....” I’d turned around so my voice would carry better to the bathroom only to find him right THERE, his cock at half-mast. I coughed, then continued. “Wearing. What are you wearing? Fuck, the naked sneak up is NOT COOL, Hiddleston.”

He smirked. “My khaki shorts and a white V-neck, I think.”

“Good. Then I can wear a black one.” I finished dressing while he began, then went to stand before the mirror so I could put my hair back in a ponytail. I’d had it cut and styled before we left London, the ends brushing just below my collar bones. For some reason, even just a few inches and a tiny bit of layering made it much easier to manage. As I was strapping on my Birkenstocks, a quiet rapping on the door began. Tom opened it, and when I saw Simon was wearing giant Kardashian-style mirrored aviator sunglasses indoors, I shouted. Loudly. Even though it hurt my throat to do so.

“Good morning, Mr. Ahlberg. How are we feeling today? Looks like you may have had too much birthday, am I right?”

His voice was raspy as he pulled the Panama hat he was sporting further down his forehead. “Fuck off, bitch.” He was wearing a dark green Polo shirt, white shorts and white loafers.

I rose as he and Luke entered the room, and Luke grinned as he embraced me briefly.

“Happy Birthday, Maude.”

“Thank you, Luke. You look none the worse for wear.” He’d paired khaki shorts with a medium-blue faded T-shirt and Teva sandals, also khaki with blue stripes.

He snorted. “One of us had to behave responsibly. He was up half the night with his head in the bowl…”

Simon shoved him out of the way, wrapping his arms around me to support himself after placing a quick kiss on my cheek, whispering in my ear. “Please kill me. I know it’s your birthday, but it IS Halloween so it’s sort of apropos and I really need to die. I beg you. Put me out of my misery.”

I squeezed him tightly and whispered back. “Not a chance, asshole. I enjoy your snark entirely too much to let it slip from my grasp so easily.”

He sighed, releasing me. “Fine, fine. On with the hour long car ride then. Followed by staring at some books. Then an hour long car ride back. All during which I could have been resting up for tonight.”

We used their rental car, as I’d demanded to have a Jeep Wrangler again and thought Simon might puke if we took that instead. Much like Luke had thought he’d do when we’d gone to our Hula class. Ah, life’s fun parallels that arise from excessive alcohol consumption. Tom had gone back up to the room to retrieve his forgotten phone, and when he came back we were off. Luke and Simon sat in the back, Simon resting his head on Luke’s shoulder, moaning from time to time when Tom took a turn too fast.

He parked us a block down, and we jumped out of the vehicle, excited to be back, and he picked me up and spun me around as we waited for Simon’s slow-ass self.

I rolled my eyes as Tom set me down. “Christ, Simon…you’re like a little old man. Fucking move it along, won’t you?”

I got the bird in return, but the corners of his mouth turned up in a tiny smile. The ibuprofen I’d given him in the car must have started to kick in. Why he hadn’t thought of it on his own…no clue. As we reached the red doors, Tom took my hand, smiling as he opened the door for me. It was exactly the same, which wasn’t really a surprise as only four months had passed, but a feeling washed over me at the sight of it anyway, one of pure joy. His hand squeezed mine as we walked inside, and behind the counter was Roger Marshal, still bearded, same glasses, different Hawaiian shirt, this time red with green leaves. He grinned widely and came around to shake our hands.

“Aloha, Mr. Hiddleston, Ms. Gallagher. Welcome back. I see you brought friends with you on this glorious Halloween day in paradise.”

Tom introduced him to Simon and Luke while I wandered down to the stacks where we’d met. The place was relatively empty…I didn’t see anyone, but assumed customers were just quietly browsing elsewhere. Music was playing, something by 10,000 Maniacs, the name of which always escaped me. Almost instinctually, I went right for the ‘K’s, looking for my white whale…and…THERE IT FUCKING WAS. Not three feet away from me, the spine of the dust jacket unmistakable, silver-grey with a long black tower and yellow text. I stood, frozen in place, listening to footsteps approaching just as I had on that day back in June. Tom’s hand touched my shoulder gently.

“You okay? You didn’t move a muscle while we walked down here.”

I pointed. “It’s there. Do you see it? Tell me you see it.”

He looked. “See what?”

“THE BOOK. THE GUNSLINGER. Yellow text. Black tower. TELL ME YOU SEE IT.”

“Oh, okay…yes…I see it. Wait, isn’t that…”

I nodded, still using my indoor voice but enunciating so strongly they sounded out in all caps. “YES. MY WHITE WHALE. THAT IS A FIRST EDITION COPY OF THE GUNSLINGER.”

He laughed, squeezing my shoulder. “And you’re not over there pulling it off the shelf and holding on to it for dear life, why, exactly?”

Reaching up, I patted his hand gently as I whispered. “Because I’m afraid that if I move or even if I blink it will disappear, having only been the cruelest of mirages.”

“If I can see, it, it MUST be real, yes?” His other hand patted my ass. “Best grab it before someone else does, don’t you think?”

I turned to him briefly, eyes wide. “YES. Excellent idea.”

One step, two steps, both very slow, and I noticed that the song had changed. Tilting my head to make sure I wasn’t hearing things in addition to possibly seeing things, I listened closely, turning back around to face Tom.

“Is it me or…is that Tigerlily by La Roux?”

His own head tilted, and he nodded, smiling. “You’re right, it is. What a fantastic coincidence!”

I nodded again, then turned back to my prey. Another two steps and I was there, reaching out my hand to touch the spine gingerly, then quickly pulling back as if I’d been burned.

“Oh my god it’s REAL. And not only is it REAL I think it’s in, like, MINT FUCKING CONDITION this is…I just…” I carefully slid it off the shelf, turning it over in my hands, then back again, opening the cover ever so gently. Much to my horror, there was something written on the flyleaf. I was about to stomp my foot when I noticed my name.

Happy Birthday, Maude.

You hold in your hands not only a first edition, but one from my personal collection…and out of the first box the publisher sent to me. The God of Mischief asked me to do him a solid, and I figured it might be a good idea to go the extra mile. Thanks for being a Constant Reader all these years, and may the wheel of Ka always move forward for you.

With love,

Steve

PS - CONGRATULATIONS!

Tigerlily was still playing, and I re-read the text again, realizing that Tom had planned all of this, for ME, for MY birthday, and I nearly burst into tears but the last bit of what Steve…STEPHEN FUCKING KING… had written confused me and I focused on that in an attempt to keep my shit together. I began speaking, still staring at the word as I turned around.

“Tom, why did he write congra…” I looked up from my precious treasure but didn’t see him, just Luke and Simon, their phones held up and pointing at me. “…ulations?” My gaze moved lower, and there he was. Tom. Down on one knee. Right arm extended. And in his hand was a small black box.

I’d like to say the world around me grew silent and time stopped and the angels began to sing, but that would be lying and, if nothing else, I’m an honest woman.

What really happened is that I blurted out “Ohmygodthefuckareyoudoing?” followed by my right hand flying up to cover my mouth, trying to shove what had just come out back in.

His eyes met mine, peering up from under his brows, lashes so long and soft and glistening with tears, his smile shy and kind and beautiful and I could see his hand shaking just the tiniest bit and my knees got weak and I had to uncover my mouth so I could breathe otherwise my big ass was going to hit the fucking floor.

He cleared his throat, then began to speak. “One hundred and twenty-five days. That’s how long it’s been since I walked through those red doors, down these stacks and saw you, my light in the mist. All of those days that came and went before…they all appear in shades of grey in my mind now, as if I never truly saw the world around me in color until the moment my eyes met yours for the first time. And however many more days we’re blessed with on this earth, I want to spend each and every one of them with you. I know I’ve said this bit already, when we first arrived in New York, but…I’m going to say it again, because it’s the truth, the only truth I know, the only truth that matters. I will love you all of this life, and in each and every one that follows. I will love you as the world turns to ash around us. I will love you as the universe collapses into itself, and in the blackness of the eternity that awaits, I will remain, with you, at your side, holding your hand, never to let go. This love…it knows no bounds. It is forever. Two souls made one, together unto infinity. Maude Gallagher, will you do me the honor…the most extraordinary honor that could ever be bestowed upon me…of becoming my wife?”

I’d stopped breathing at some point, inhaling with an audible gasp at his conclusion, then answering.

“Absofuckingloutely. Yes. Yes yes yes yes YES!”

I threw myself at him, and he rose to catch me just in time, both of us laughing and crying, his forehead resting against mine, Simon and Luke whistling and shouting as we kissed, murmuring ‘I love you’ over and over when we came up for air. Tom pulled back, grinning holding up the black box and shaking it back and forth.

“Aren’t you curious to see your ring?”

Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “I guess so. Whip it out.”

He opened the lid, and what I saw nested inside the black velvet made me feel faint for the second time in mere minutes. The ring was sterling silver, with an oval cut and polished black stone set in raised parenthesis shaped sterling silver bars, one to each side, perfectly mimicking of the style of the necklace given to me by my father. My voice eluded me, and he mistook my silence for displeasure.

“It’s not traditional, I know, and if you’d rather have a diamond we can…”

My head shook back and forth as I reached out and touched it with my right index finger in disbelief, then met his gaze.

“That’s black tourmaline.” He nodded, and I recalled the conspiratorial glance Luke’s mother and Tom’s sister had shared after I’d tried on a ring back at the Cube gallery. “Phaedra made this.”

He nodded again, eyes questioning. I bit my lip, then inhaled sharply before speaking again. “Will you put it on me please?”

His voice was timid, soft. “You like it, then?”

“No, Tom. I love it. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Everything’s perfect. Put. It. On. Me.” I grinned. “Please.”

As Simon sidled over and took the Gunslinger away from me, Tom slipped the ring out of its slot, put the box in his pocket, then took my left hand in his right and slid the first tangible symbol of our commitment to one another home with the other, a huge, beautiful smile spreading across his face as I brought both our hands up to stare at my latest jewelry acquisition. He watched me, silently, and all the other moments that I’d pushed aside over the past four months formed a slideshow in my mind’s eye. Ben smirking at us as we looked through his wedding album, nudging his wife in the ribs as she giggled…what I’d overheard at Diana’s house, that he wanted something to be ‘perfect’…and, finally, the afternoon at Greenwood Cemetery back in New Orleans when I’d said goodbye to my father. Tom had gone to the crypt, introduced himself and told my father how much he loved me, then asked him a question, cupping his hand to his mouth and whispering against the stone, waiting for an answer, then nodding as he said ‘thank you, sir’. When I’d asked what his question had been he’d refused to tell me, though when I inquired as to whether my father had answered, he’d replied ‘I’d like to think he did.’

Gasping, my hand again flew to my mouth as my breath hitched and the tears flowed. “Tom…my god…how long…when did you decide…was it back in…Tom, that day in the cemetery…my dad…is that what you…”

He nodded, weeping as well. “Yes. I asked him for your hand in marriage.”

Choking back sobs, I reached out and placed my right hand on his shoulder. “But…when did you…when…”

His fingers grazed my temple, then my cheek, coming to rest on my jaw. “When did I know that I wanted to marry you?” I nodded. “That moment in the hotel in New Orleans when you said that if you really, truly love someone you accept them just as they are…and that you accepted me, all of me, every bit. As I took you in my arms, it hit me…I wasn’t just holding the woman I’d fallen in love with any longer. I was holding my wife.”

My sobs broke free, and I wrapped myself around him and buried my face in his chest. He rocked me, smoothing my hair, his chin on the top of my head. “I’m sorry it took me so long to ask. I just…I wanted it to be…perfect.”

Pulling away, I snorted. “Mission accomplished, you glorious bastard. This was over the top, ridiculously romantic, Clint Eastwood and Rob Reiner co-directing a love story PERFECT.”

His eyes widened. “Oh, I almost forgot. The ring…there’s an inscription…”

I yanked it off and held it up to my face. Around the solid portion of the band, flanked on either side by two tiny books was written in a teeny, tiny font, two lines, one on top of the other:

Talk Story - 6/29/15 - Our Story

My Light in the Mist

“Thomas William Hiddleston, I hope you realize that now we have to get MARRIED here. Like, right here. In this very spot. Bridezilla has come ashore and she won’t have it any other way.” I turned my attention from the ring to his face. “I’m serious. Can we? Is that cool with you? Getting married here? I mean, I guess we need to ask…” His smirk resulted in an epic eye roll and heavy sigh from me as I slipped the ring back on my finger. “Aaaaand…you already asked, didn’t you?”

He nodded. “Roger’s fine with it. We just need to let him know a few weeks in advance so he can arrange to close the shop.”

For some reason, that solidified what had just occurred. Tom had asked me to marry him. I’d said yes. I was now his fiancé, the future Mrs. Thomas Hiddleston. And there was now a wedding to plan. Which was exciting and amazing but I had no idea what to do next so I just stood, like a deer caught in headlights. He leaned in, nose touching mine.

“You okay?”

I nodded hard, attempting to clear my head, letting the euphoria take over. “My god, we’re getting MARRIED. Maude Hiddleston. I’m going to need to start practicing that. Gotta say, it sounds pretty fucking great. Nice ring to it. Maude Hiddleston. Yep. Sold.”

His jaw had dropped open, then closed again, eyes full of surprise. “I…you…you want to change your name?”

“Uhhh…yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I mean, if you don’t want…”

He took my hands in his. “Oh, no, no…I…I’d love for you to take my name. See, that sounds awful. Archaic. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to or that I expected you to because, I mean, you’re known a certain way professionally and…”

My lips found his, tongue pushing into his mouth, silencing him the best way I knew how. And, other than pushing his head down between my thighs, my favorite way. As we broke the kiss, he grinned, and so did I.

“Tom. I know some women are very much against changing their names or like to hyphenate, and that’s totally cool, but I’m not one of them. To me, it’s part of joining with someone. Being a family. If that makes me old-fashioned, too fucking bad. Plus, what happens when your kid with the hyphenated name marries another kid with a hyphenated name? Chaos, I say. Chaos.”

His expression was so earnest, so thankful that it caused me to take pause, during which I become cognizant of all I had to be thankful for as well. And that I hadn’t even said thank you, for anything he’d done, which resulted in waterworks yet again as I let go of his hands to place mine on the sides of his beautifully chiseled countenance.

“I’m so sorry…I didn’t say thank you, for any of this…but I’m telling you now. Thank you, Tom. Thank you. I’m going to remember this forever and tell it over and over and our kids and grandkids will be like SHUT UP WE HEARD THAT STORY A HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY and it’s just…I love you, so much, and I’m so blessed to have you in my life and my god, I can’t believe you want to MARRY me because I mean I’m ME and…”

It was his turn to cut things off with a kiss, and as he pulled back I heard Simon’s voice, realizing I had completely forgotten that we weren’t alone and wondering exactly how much they’d filmed.

“Yay, yay, you’re engaged, that’s super, who isn’t though, you know? Anyway. I’m going to create a diversion because if Maude cries again I’m going to lose all respect for her and, frankly, I don’t have that much left TO lose so…” He wrenched me from Tom’s grasp and turned me to face him. “SO, I assume that I’ll be your maid of honor? Because honey, you are REALLY going to need my help…”

I rolled my eyes. “Actually, you’ll wind up being my MATRON of honor because you’ll probably be MARRIED by then, you big fucking dumbass. And…and…” I started to sniffle, tears welling up again.

He covered his eyes with his right hand, having taken the shades off to film, and groaned. “Oh. My. God. Are you going to cry from now until whenever it is you get hitched? Because if that’s the case feel free to go before Luke and I do.”

When I didn’t reply, he uncovered his eyes, saw the look on my face and placed both hands on my shoulders. “I’m sorry, gorgeous…talk to me.”

Taking a deep breath, I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of one hand, then attempted to speak. “Will you…I…my…I don’t have a…my dad…isn’t…will…will you walk me down the aisle?”

He, Tom and Luke burst into tears at that, Simon’s hand over his mouth as he nodded repeatedly and pulled me to his chest. His voice was deep but soft in my ear when he was able to talk again. “Of course I will, honey. Of course I will. I’m so sorry your father won’t be there. And you know I’m, like, SO not religious so I’m not going to give you the watching over you nonsense, though I guess who the fuck really knows, but in a way he WILL be there, because he’s part of you. And we need to talk about something else now because crying is making my headache IN-FUCKING-TOLERABLE…”

He released me and Luke took his place immediately, warmly embracing me for the second time that day. His quiet authority was what I saw most of…it wasn’t until we were off the clock that he became himself, and even at that we were only moderately affectionate. Drunk Luke, though…that was an entirely different story. After a few pats to the back, we let each other go, and I pointed at Tom.

“This is some stunt you pulled here, young man. I hope you realize that.”

He grinned from ear to ear, tongue peeking out from between his teeth. “Oh, I do.” His brows rose. “Were you truly surprised?”

“Um, YEAH. No clue. Well, not exactly NO clue. I mean, I picked up on a few things along the way that I seemed odd but I just pushed them aside because…” My eyes turned skyward as I thought of the best way to phrase what came next. “Because as much as I wanted it to be what I thought it was, I couldn’t be sure and I didn’t want to be disappointed if it never happened, I guess. But. Yeah. So, do we need to fill anyone in on the news or am I totally the last one to know?”

“If it never happened. You’re a silly, silly girl.” His lips grazed my cheek. “And yes, there are still plenty of people to tell. Anyone who was privy to my plan was purely essential.”

My left eyebrow shot up. “Oh, how did Ben and Sophie factor in? Do tell.”

He blushed adorably. “I may have tattled to Chris and Elsa too. But…Anne’s still in the dark, so maybe start there?”

Simon had set the Gunslinger on the nearest table, and I started at it and sighed happily. “I cannot BELIEVE you not only managed to find me a first edition copy of the Gunslinger, but you got Stephen King to sign it, and it’s ONE FROM HIS PERSONAL COLLECTION. You are such a complete dork, and I am the luckiest woman alive, Thomas William Hiddleston.”

He walked to my side and slipped an arm around my waist. “So, should we take a photo to post online? Or would you rather do something more formal?”

I snorted. “Fuck formal. Picture, please.”

I held up my left hand at face level between us, the back of it towards Tom’s phone, which Luke was holding, then pointed at the ring with my right and posed with my mouth stretched wide open in a gleeful grin. Tom pointed at it as well, and three clicks later we were good to go.

Taking the phone back from Luke, he typed, then stopped. “Do you want to call Anne before I post this?”

“Nah. I’ll wait for her to call. It’s more fun this way…and honestly, I have no idea how to tell people without sounding like an asshole, so…yeah. Post it.”

He clicked, then turned the screen so I could see it. There we were, his expression mimicking mine, his Twitter message short and sweet.

She said YES!!!!!!!!!! #thefuturemrshiddleston, #iamsoveryblessed, #luckiestmanintheuniverse

Chuckling, I passed the phone back to him. “Um, actually what I said was ‘absofuckingloutely’. Shit. That’s like, filmed and recorded as my official reaction to being proposed to in the most beautiful and perfect way possible. Nice one, me.”

Luke cleared his throat. “So, not to be a killjoy…” Simon snorted. “Do we have a date in mind for the blessed event? Tom’s schedule is…”

I raised my hand. “Oh, oh…I know what Tom’s schedule is…it’s an insane MESS. Gee, wish there was an app for that or something. HA! Anyhow, you’ll have to double check, but I’m pretty sure that there is zero room for it to happen until late April or early May.”

Scrolling through his phone, Luke nodded. “You’re right. After the I Saw the Light press tour and premiere he’s got Night Manager promo until it airs in the states on April nineteenth. Really, the best month seems to be June.”

Tom spread his hands wide. “Well, that makes it simple. Let’s do it on the first anniversary of the day we met. June twenty-ninth. I think I can even squeeze in time for a honeymoon before heading to Australia to start in on Ragnarock.” He turned to me, brows raised, questioning. “Okay with you?”

My eyes met his, then roamed up and down over his form. This breathtakingly beautiful, kind, compassionate, intelligent, gifted, hilarious being…he was going to be my husband. I felt the tears creeping up on me again, but shook them off, breaking myself of the habit lest I, as Simon feared, kept crying every time I thought about marrying the man for the next eight months.

“Oh yeah. Totally okay with me. And shall I assume you had that planned all along as well?”

He laughed, throwing his head back, one hand on his abdomen, smirking adorably when he’d managed to compose himself. “No, actually…that one was totally off the cuff.”

“Sure it was.”

Laughing again, he grabbed my shoulders. “It was. I swear it.”

I sighed. “Well, if you swear it, I guess I should believe you. So…I know this will come as a shock, but …I’m STARVING. Birthday girl needs lunch. Feed birthday girl NOW.”

Tom pulled me close and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. “How’s Kauai Pasta sound?”

“It sounds like you made reservations for four is how it sounds.” He smiled, licking his lips. “Which is awesome, because I am such a slut for Alfredo…”

Simon’s face appeared over Tom’s shoulder. “Oh, oh…can we please go over the list of things you’re a slut for? THERE ARE SO MANY…”

I flipped him off. “Please. Your list is so long it wouldn’t fit on my 32 gig USB drive.”

His eyes widened in mock horror. “My, my. She becomes some hot guy’s fiancé and her rudeness trebles. Unacceptable.”

Grinning, I turned my gaze back to Tom. “So, are we, like, done with surprises for the day? Because I’m not sure my heart can take another one. Though I do have a surprise of my own for YOU…”

“You do, do you? And what would that be?”

I patted his chest. “That would be my Halloween costume, babe. I fear you may not survive.”

He placed his hand over mine, leaning in so his face was inches from mine. “You do realize that you have not the slightest inkling as to what I’m wearing, don’t you?”

I didn’t. I’d been so focused on keeping mine under wraps I hadn’t considered HIS. And I was afraid to imagine, because the party now seemed an eternity away and if I let my mind wander…my mouth dropped open, then closed, opened, then closed again. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. I am so, so fucked.”

A whisper in my ear. “Oh, you are indeed, my darling. You are indeed.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 34

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shultzing · 6 years

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7/29/2018: did i already say how much of an angel this guy is

8/13/2018: i’m so mad that i’m dating someone so much cuter than me. i never intended for this to happen. my type is usually men who are just above average looking, which I was happy with. now, i have to constantly think about how i look bc I know everyone around us has GOT to be thinking like, wtf is that beautiful man doing w/ that scrubby looking twig in the ancient clothes?? and like... he HAS to know. idc so much if other people are wondering how i got w/ him as long as HE isn’t like... damn, i could be doing so much better... anyways kill me, he is too fucking handsome and this birth control is making my skin break out really bad.

8/22/2018: this whole thing about being in a casual relationship is weird and tbh i’m less and less a fan. maybe i need to grow tf up but like, here’s an example. I’m going to a show friday night that’s literally 5 minutes from his house, and i know he’s free friday, and yet i won’t invite him bc i don’t want to see him there bc i don’t want him to be part of my local music world bc then he’ll mean that much more to me and it will be that much harder to feel and act casual. so that feels shitty. and like, i could totally skip the show and just go hang out w/ him, but I know he’s not planning his life around me, so I don’t want to get myself into a frame of mind where i’m sacrificing my stuff to be w/ him, so i make a point to not plan around him and not cancel plans for him. But getting to a point where i actively don’t want him to come to things w/ me is like some kind of accomplishment but also feels like a battle i don’t want to win? like i’m getting too good at it. at first i was like... struggling w/ it and he could probably tell? esp by how much i texted him and what kinds of texts i sent. but now i’m like, i’ve got a handle on it. i’m good. and it makes me sad. like what is the point of a casual relationship? what’s the point of a relationship you barely care about?

8/26/2018: conflict resolution like bosses >:) i know it’s just a beginning but we didn’t ever even get to a point of real conflict, although we were both approaching the subject at hand from wildly different perspectives and pretty high stakes. no insults or even criticisms, just explaining ourselves, being honest, and both quick to apologize. He definitely gets flustered and then gets a lot less precise about what he’s saying but then he’ll circle back to it when he’s had a minute to process/calm down and can fix whatever he mis-explained previously. It’s good to be back to good.

8/28/2018: first use of a pet name: drunk text -- “Goodnight cutie. Sweet dreams and I’ll talk to you tomorrow <3″

8/31/2018: the way he reacted when i got suddenly skittish/stressed out was a startling moment in a really good way. He stayed so calm/supportive/reassuring. Who knew that was possible?

9/1/2018: i think we’re becoming friends :’) meeting someone on a dating app, everything is backward bc the romance and skin comes before the friendship/knowing the person/etc so whenever we hang out for long enough to have time to get into decently long conversations and learn about each other or fight over whether william carlos williams is a good poet or not... it’s nice, and more special. Like, oh! that’s who you are?

9/8/2018: the way that relationships evolve is strange. like, a couple of weeks ago, just getting a text from M or not getting a text from him could change my mood and ability to focus so much bc everything was so new and uncertain and both exciting and stressful. now it’s okay either way. we’ve been dating for a little more than 2 months and things are getting to be sort of familiar and comfortable and less of a constant heart attack. the newness is still strange, there’s always some surprise. The other night he came over w/ his hair down and I was like ???? since when do you have hair like a young eddie vedder?? what is this?? but he was just like... yeah, that’s how it is right after i shower. i had no idea. it’s nice to literally get to watch someone slowly learn to trust you. he doesn’t act shy but it’s also easy to tell that he always has his walls up, I definitely have never seen them down yet, and that is okay. but the more comfortable he gets, the warmer he gets, and that’s really sweet. i’m frequently surprised by how competent of a person he is. he goes to the gym, he eats healthy, he’s a good boss, he’s a good student, he’s a good dog-parent etc. he asks questions like, “reading anything good lately?” and also corrected me instantly when I said KDC died in 93. he communicates clearly/gently/honestly. i’m getting to know some of his flaws, too. anyways i was out w/ a friend (allison c.) last night and we were talking about how shitty men are. i told her that the reason i’m w/ M is mainly just to get a chance to date someone who seems like he can prove that men can actually be really good. told her a story about how M reacted whenever i was having a bad moment and she was like, “I literally have goosebumps rn.” it was cute. reminded me not to take him for granted while he’s in my life. hope i’m not.

9/11/2018: M’s coming over tomorrow and i can’t waittttt. We try to see each other twice a week but sometimes it doesn’t happen and then it feels like forever. But now it’s less than 24 hours until i can hold his hands and kiss his face and i’m so ready.

9/13/2018: If this relationship is going to stick for a while... i can’t wait for the stage to come where i actually know him well enough that i’m not always overanalyzing/overreacting to every little cue. like there’s so much i don’t know that i can learn little things and be like WAIT WHAT? and get really stressed about it and i can’t wait for that to be over. how long til there’s an underlying level of trust/knowledge/comfort?

9/23/2018: Okay so for the most part this relationship is starting to feel normal. It still doesn’t always feel real just because he is so segregated from the rest of my life. No mutual friends. no school to share, no work to share, no volunteering or show circuit. No one else has met him or even really knows what he looks like bc of a lack of recent pictures. I’m slowly getting more confident and comfortable within it, even though i do still second guess myself a lot more than i usually do. I guess i’m used to being fussed over and spoiled. But this isn’t like that at all. We’re both a) adults and b) busy and c) on opposite sides of the city and he’s still pretty reserved so I know I’m like, low-ish on his priorities list. Like i’m ON the list, but somewhere beneath going to the gym and getting a haircut, and about 10 miles below his dog. It’s fine, it’s only been like 3 months. Less than that. ANYWAY we’ve finally graduated out of the just-casual-relationship category and into the normal relationship category. Or, he said he thought we did a month ago, but I didn’t realize that’s what he was saying. So now I can stop filtering everything I say and do through that ever-present, “is this too serious?” lens and just do what makes sense/comes naturally. or something. I’m super excited about that bc that was getting really tiring and unromantic.

9/30/2018: Uhhh, we went back into a weird “unlabeled” category where like we’re monogamous but nothing else is defined? Which I think is really lame but I also am trying to be patient and not pressure him and stuff. But I still think it’s silly and juvenile and kind of embarrassing. I mean I know he has his reasons and he needs to work through them on his own and at his own pace but for ME, it’s silly. Anyways. Still feels like there’s so much I don’t know about him or how he works or thinks or feels. But he still is always surprising me by just sheer level of sweetness. I feel like that’s always how I walk away, like, idk that guy but he sure has a kind heart.

10/4/2018: Ok the back and forth stalling on what we’re even doing and all the associated casual dynamics have kinda killed the romance for me. like it’s cool and all but i’m done obsessing over the relationship and probably won’t be updating this anymore bc i really don’t care and continuing to write about it is just trying to make it a bigger deal to me than it really is.

10/19/2018: Nearly 4 months in and it’s still such a roller coaster, my perspective, optimism/pessimism and level of happiness change like every 48 hours. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of breaking up because we’re too different or because we overworked the dynamics of our relationship too much. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of stepping closer because our good days really are good. I’m always surprised by how complicated every little thing is, questioning where my feelings are coming from and whether i’m either getting carried away on good days or paranoid and trust-issues-y on bad days. And there is definitely also a background kind of darkness/heaviness surrounding the fact that the more time goes by, the more i understand that i’m really not even close to being over R. But on Wednesday he and I went to Red Emma’s and then took his dog for a walk and then watched princess bride (both of our favorite childhood movie) and ended up staying up til 5-something in the morning just lying next to each other talking about bullshit. Like it wasn’t staying up all night to work out something serious or anything. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. I remember at some point he started trying to recite post malone lyrics and could not stop laughing for so long. I remember on 9/8 I wrote that i know i’ve never seen him w/ his guard down and i still usually feel like that, but then sometimes lately i think it comes down for a second and it’s always really nice and makes me think it’s worth working/waiting for. It’s understandable that he’d still have a lot of walls up when our relationship has been so rocky and it’s still in the baby stages anyways. I know he must be feeling more and more sure of us bc the way his sister treats me changed distinctly this weekend. Like she was always super nice, but now she treats me like she expects me to be around/expects to and wants to make friends, which is so nice. He’s still incredible when I get triggered. Sometimes I just suddenly can’t anymore and he’s never even hinted at the slightest inkling of being frustrated by that.

11/4/2018: “do you love me?” “yes. i do love you. its been screaming in my head to say it every time I look at you.” “then why didn’t you get me a seltzer water?”

11/30/2018: “I’m breaking up with you, and I want to marry you, and I love you.”

---

update: this is going to be a running/updated post for all bullshit things i think about M but should be telling no one and should absolutely not be posting on the internet.

#personal

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mrdantastic808 · 6 years

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Disneyland Report 2018: Together Forever

It’s hard to believe it’s already been a week since standing on Main Street, waiting for the upcoming firework show. It really feels like it was just yesterday.

Pixarfest is in full gear in Disneyland. Even though Pixar Pier isn’t open yet, there’s still a lot of Pixar to experience in both parks, whether it’s new foods or merchandise or parades or banners. Even the music at the ticket booths are renditions of Pixar movie theme songs.

The main event, of course, is the firework show: Together Forever.

Spoilers ahead:

Time for a confession: I had watched a video of the show on its opening night. I told myself the reason is because I wanted to research the best spot to position ourselves when we do go on our trip. The truth, though, is that it was an impulsive choice on my end. When I watched the show online, I remembered thinking it was a very good show…but was it a good firework show? Like the “Disneyland Forever” firework show, projections are back on Main Street as the characters come alive on the buildings and the castle. It tells the story of friendship using the various Pixar movies, from the introduction of characters to the development of friendship to overcoming challenges together. All the animations are great, but do they overshadow the actual fireworks? In “Disneyland Forever,” the animation immerses you fully into the experience, but they complemented the fireworks in the sky. In “Together Forever,” so much was happening on Main Street. It seemed like the animation competed with the fireworks for attention. It felt off balance. I also felt like the show was stifled by being limited to Pixar movies. “Disneyland Forever” had a wider diversity of songs and films to draw from, so it felt like a richer experience. The song for the “Together Forever” finale seemed like it was there because there wasn’t much else to draw from and because it was the theme of the show.

A week ago, I stood on Main Street with my crew. We’ve become more than just friends. We are a family. Through thick and thin, we’ve looked after each other. We supported and encouraged each other. We took that family value deeper over the course of the trip. We shared food with each other. We took more time to slow things down and bond with each other. As obstacles came up, we overcame them together. Looking back, those moments are my favorite memories of the trip.

Here we were on Main Street. We had already experienced some of the foods and merchandise of Pixarfest. We had enjoyed the return of Paint the Night Parade. Now came the main event.

The natural tendency is to film the show and/or post it live. I encouraged my family to put away those phones. When we watch through the lens of a camera, we are only half present, half focusing on capturing everything, and we only see what the lens sees. There’s so much detail in this show that can easily be missed. Besides, this show is a celebration of friendship. This was a family event, and I wanted all of us to be fully present.

The show certainly didn’t disappoint. Even though I had seen it earlier online, it’s very different experiencing it live. More importantly, I was experiencing it with my friends as the show intended. Together, we went on an emotional ride. Instead of Tinkerbell, we saw Buzz Lightyear fly across the castle. When Dory introduces herself, a Dory-shaped firework lights the sky. Wall-e and Eve fly across one side of the Main Street buildings, swinging around through the other side, while Saturn-shaped fireworks grab the sky. My favorite turned out to be the segment from Coco. The initial guitar strum times perfectly with a burst of fireworks. As Miguel sings “The World Es Mi Familia,” giant versions of the characters pop up on top of the Main Street buildings to join in the celebration. The song is full of energy and makes you want to dance along and get un poco loco.

My close second favorite is the Incredibles segment. An omnidroid attacks from the castle, and its arms wrap around the buildings of Main Street, wrecking them as it tries to fight the Incredibles. The music and the fireworks add to the intensity, making it so much fun to experience.

Of course, one of Pixar’s signatures is its ability to make the audience cry. This firework show is no exception. While I won’t spoil how they do this, I can say that it will bring you to tears in the best way possible.

After the show, my family looked at each other, trying to process what we had just experienced. We stood in the middle of Main Street and gave a group hug, embodying everything that Pixarfest stands for. If this show is meant to be a celebration of friendship, it certainly did its job.

In terms of Disney firework shows, I would rank this #2 behind “Disneyland Forever.” Considering the variety of firework shows we’ve gotten over the years (and fireworks being one of Disney’s signature shows), this is indeed high praise. The quality of “Together Forever” is consistent with the quality of Pixar’s films.

If you’re looking for the best viewing area, I would recommend standing on Main Street near the Penny Arcade. You can see what’s happening at the castle while still being surrounded by the buildings on Main Street.

If you’re planning to go to Disneyland between now and September 3, I would highly recommend making this show a priority.

#pixarfest #togetherforever #spotlight

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northamptoncouplestherapy · 3 years

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Psychologists Drs. John and Julie Gottman of The Gottman Institute separate couples into two major groups: the “masters” and the “disasters.” Masters remain happily together, while disasters either break up or are chronically unhappy. In Masters of Love, couples share thoughts about marriage and tell us what they have learned along the way.

Dan from Seattle, Washington met Nancy from Fort Worth, Texas in the fall of 1971 on Orientation Day at Richmond College in a suburb of London, England, where the two were studying abroad. They were married two years later.

After living in the Pacific Northwest for 26 years, they joined the State Department, which took them to nine separate tours of duty across five continents in 18 years. Today, Dan (69) and Nancy (69) are retired and live in Seattle, WA. They have two adult sons, Robert (31) and Michael (29).

We asked them about how they met, how they decided to live abroad, what the most rewarding and challenging aspects were, and their best advice for couples living overseas.

On their first meeting

Dan: We met on Orientation Day at Richmond College in a suburb of London, England, in the fall of 1971. We were both enrolled in a Junior-year-abroad program that had students from throughout the United States. We were both working part time. Nancy was going to work for a family as an au-pair in central London, and my roommate, Jim, and I were the program’s mini-bus drivers. We asked Nancy and another young woman from Texas to join us at a riverside pub that evening. It didn’t take long into the conversation before Nancy and I connected as if we were long-lost friends.

We connected at a basic value level that allowed me to feel completely safe in our conversation, and I was sharing feelings, hopes, and fears that I had never shared with anyone. We were together from that evening, although I tried to put up walls to avoid a commitment to her (and my own feelings). We continued to fall deeper in love the more we discovered about each other.

As a right-brain person and introvert, I love leading groups, but keep individuals at a distance. Nancy has a full spectrum of left-brain skills including math and science, organization, and planning. She is very extroverted, has no fear of mixing in new groups, and develops close friendships. We have found that we are an amazing, decisive team when we respect our different “lanes” in getting things done together.

Nancy: Dan was very talkative and sharp. We were immediately comfortable with each other and on our first date and we shared our secrets openly. We bonded and trusted each other immediately. We came together with core values in common, but our interests, skills, and abilities could not have been more different.

I believe opposites do attract. The Gottmans talks about how it’s not who you are or what you do that will help you find “the one.” Rather, it’s how you speak to each other, how well you get along, and how you move through time together. After 50 years together, we couldn’t agree more.

On deciding to live abroad

Dan: We met overseas, each with the intention to live and study in London for the school year. Nancy then returned home to live with her parents for the summer and work in her parent’s church. I stayed and worked for the college in London and made money to allow me to spend three weeks in the Soviet Union with a small British student group (I had taken Russian in high school). We each returned to school in the United States in the fall—me in Seattle and Nancy in Green Bay.

Our relationship endured the distance and the time apart, but after the first term back at school, I asked Nancy to come to Seattle and marry me. I was nervous and fumbled the proposal badly over the phone, but she said yes and I drove to her parent’s home to meet them at Christmas and brought her back to Seattle.

We were married 10 weeks later and three months after that accepted an offer to move back to London for a year and work for the college we attended. We saw this offer as an opportunity to travel more in the UK and on the European continent while having a place to live and flexible jobs to support ourselves financially. We loved the couple that we would be working for.

After this second year in London, we continued to travel overseas on vacations, but lived in apartments and houses in Washington State and Oregon that were close to various schools we attended and jobs we held. After 15 years of marriage, we decided to start a family. We had two boys a few years apart and they became part of our overseas travel adventures.

When they were both in elementary school, the state of Oregon passed a massive property tax rollback that slashed school funding. Nancy was doing her student teaching, having completed coursework for a Master’s Degree in teaching. At the same time, the business we had owned for 15 years was in the middle of a technology shift and we had decided to sell the assets. We agreed it was time to leave Oregon.

We went to London where Nancy interviewed for teaching jobs in International Schools, and I sat for the State Department Foreign Service Officer Exam. The process was long and involved, but when offered a position with the State Department that required relocating to Washington, D.C. in six weeks, we said yes, then went to work to get it done.

Nancy: I remember as a middle school student in Fort Worth, Texas dreaming of living in other countries and of working in different jobs for a year or so. My father was an armchair traveler who read and watched TV specials about other countries, music, and art. My High School French Teacher led a group of students to France and I went with her when I was 16.

Dan and I lived in London for two years at the beginning of our relationship and traveled around the world many years before joining the State Department after 26 years of marriage. We joined the State Department after deciding to sell our business and I had finished a Master’s Degree in teaching.

We were at a turning point of looking at new opportunities and breaking away from our life in Portland, Oregon. We decided that we wanted to show our two sons a larger world than Portland offered us. We have moved 25 times in almost 50 years together, including nine times in 18 years with the State Department.

On the rewards of living abroad

Dan: As a couple, there are huge rewards to be gained by stepping outside your comfort zone and learning new things, not only about the local culture and people, but about yourself and each other as you face new challenges. Tourists never get the chance to burrow into local peoples’ lives, compare differences in the way we look at the world.

For our sons, it was a chance for them to begin to realize all the things we have at home that we take for granted as normal: clean drinking water, electricity that runs all day, schools for all kids, good hospitals, ambulances, fire hydrants and fire trucks, flush toilets, and toilet paper (and what it was like to do without some of those things). For Nancy and I, rewards included learning to cook and eat new foods, attending ceremonies like weddings, church services, funerals, and local holiday celebrations, listening to local music and dances. Looking back at the US from abroad, through local eyes—discussing world events through a local lens.

Finally, sharing these experiences with each other, encouraging each other to keep learning, because at the same time it is exciting, it could also be exhausting.

Nancy: The most rewarding aspect to me was the interesting people and cultures that we learned about and the relationships that we developed. I love to learn new things and living abroad gave me that opportunity constantly.

On the challenges of living abroad

Dan: Managing the stress of constantly adjusting to new ways of getting things done. Each home leave we would disembark and welcome each other back “to the land where things work.” As much as we complain, the United States works. Customer service, efficiency, product quality, endless public services, fire departments, and ambulances that take you on good roads to a decent hospital.

In so many countries, life is just much harder. Expats living abroad typically have the resources to secure items they need or want through the mail if they are not available locally, but in many countries basic services are lacking or simply don’t exist. Government corruption can lead to many services being available only to those that pay a bribe. Public safety on the streets, safe construction of buildings, roads and electrical systems can be sketchy at best. The challenge is to get to know your complete environment and all its limitations. Always be prepared for the unexpected.

Always be prepared for the unexpected. When the unexpected happens, and it will, that is when the trust, mutual respect, and good communication skills you have built as a couple is a lifesaver. The challenges will test your bond as a couple. Having the right tools to fall back on will help turn the challenging times to ones of growth for your relationship.

Nancy: Keeping our family and work life balanced and making sure that all of us had the resources and support that we needed through the constant changing environment.

There can also be a lack of support of family and friends when you need them. The guilt and sadness weighs on you when you miss important events at home, like weddings and birthdays of loved ones, or worse, funerals and memorial services. I lost my mom when we were on our first overseas tour. Dan lost two of his three brothers and a sister-in-law while in Okinawa, a brother-in-law while in Geneva, and a sister while in Kigali. Those losses were so much harder when not surrounded by loved ones.

Their advice for couples living abroad

Dan: Our relationship faced different pressures in Geneva than it did in Abidjan or Kabul, and still different in Okinawa. In every environment, however, what we learned from the work of John Gottman was the importance of “fighting fair” as a multitude of stresses affected our day-to-day lives.

Ultimately, it comes down to treating each other with love and respect, even when we disagree. We had to learn the skills to resist the defensive reactions and simply listen, and to not discount each other’s feelings. We’re always on the same team.

Nancy: Constant change can be exhausting, but can build on the bonds in a marriage if you work on every transition together—always looking for solutions that meet each of your needs. The effort itself strengthens the lines of communication and builds trust and mutual respect, both elements that allow love in a relationship to thrive.

When two people have very different ways of approaching problems, you each have to respect and allow the other person’s approach. And even the best laid out plans can have different results than expected. You have to continue to work together without judgement and blame when things don’t turn out.

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