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raylangivins · 6 months

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twenty questions for fic writers

thank you @acorrespondence for tagging me in this! i love shiteing on about writing :)

How many works do you have on ao3?

33, which shocks me because for some reason in my head the number's permanently at, like, 8.

What's your total ao3 word count?

195,093

What fandoms do you write for?

I mean currently it's beatles rpf 🌝. But also Check Please (specifically jackparse, I have absolutely no interest in anything else), Wolf 359, The Social Network, Community (although none of these are an ao3 due to I wrote them when I was 15), and some random one hit wonders.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

live through this, and you won't look back - Jack/Kent, Check Please

if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side - Kepler/Jacobi, Wolf 359

baby, it's all relative - John/Paul, Beatles

Time May Change Me - Mark/Eduardo, The Social Network

Five Men Roy Ruined For Jen - Jen/Roy, The IT Crowd

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, always, unless I forget!! I don't know why I wouldn't like, if people are reading I am genuinely excited and grateful for that. Why wouldn't I tell them? (I'm very bad at thinking of things to say which aren't just "I'm glad you enjoyed it", but I try).

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think lately you've been feeling so good i forget my future (in which jack and kent go to prom) is pretty grim not even because the ending itself is the worst but also it foreshadows so much worse to come. Most of my jackparse fic is them as teenagers because I love that "the worst is yet to come" doom that constantly hangs over them in those years. Also one and one and one is three (in which john/paul/yoko have an emotionally fraught threesome). I hurt my own feelings writing that one lol.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Not one of the recent ones, I can tell you that! Although it depends if you mean fluffy or happy by my own metric because EYE think the best happy endings are the ones you have to work through some angst to get. So if you're looking for fluffy, probably Five Men Roy Ruined for Jen; if you're looking for a journey that ends in happiness, then I'd say wouldn't it be? nice makes me feel euphoric at the end.

Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a couple bitchy comments but generally no.

Do you write smut?

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I've only written one and it's where Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec becomes the Eleventh Doctor's companion in Doctor Who. It's cute, I still like it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

God, I hope not. Although, I did have someone once finish a fic I abandoned on ff.net without really asking me first, which I thought was both flattering and hilarious of them. So true, babe. Write the finished fic you wish to see in the world!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think someone translated one of my old Gossip Girl fics on ff.net, also. I can't remember what language it was though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'm not opposed to it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

All my fave ships are pretty much variations on the same dynamic with a few exceptions. It's comical how consistant I am about this without even trying.

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Tbh I never truly rule anything out. There's a post-canon Justified fic that has lived in my head for years, that I mostly haven't written because it's a lot of work, and I don't really care about sharing it that much it's mostly just for me. There's a Dawson's Creek Pacey genderswap fic I dream of writing, but likely will never bother. There's a beatles fic where Paul can talk to instruments that I actually wrote 20k for but it's so dogshit I can't bear to try to fix it so it's going to just sit on my computer forever probably.

What are your writing strengths?

I hate this question, I'm so bad at identifying these things. Vibes? I think I'm good at dialogue but that's mostly because that's what I start with, so it's like the bones of most of my fics. I've been told I'm good at like being thoughtful to all the different characters in fic even if it's not about them or their POV, which is always a nice thing to hear.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Physical descriptions probably. I don't care about them very much and therefore I don't put as much effort into them as I probably should. Also, I write chronologically so most of my endings are slightly lazier than the rest of the fic.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't know. I've never tried it. As a bilingual person, seeing people who are not bilingual completely miss the nuances of that is actually really irritating. Especially as someone who speaks Portuguese but grew up in an English speaking country, reading TSN fic was so specifically annoying. And don't even get me started on the concept of "untranslateable" words and "saudade".

It can be done well, but often isn't. Also, if you give me a bunch of text in a language I don't know, my brain is just gonna skip over it, so it's often redundant when it's more than, like, a sentence.

First fandom you wrote for?

First fic I published was for Gossip Girl, but when I was like 11 I wrote what was essentially a Life With Derek canon-divergence fic in a copybook that I showed to a teacher in my school.

Favorite fic you've written?

All of them. But some that have not yet been mentioned on this post:

kissing just for practice - Jack/Kent (idk, I set out to do something specific with this fic and I really felt I did)

i want every other freckle - si-5 ot3 kind of (this fic means so much to me)

tomorrow i'll miss you - mclennon before sunset au (before sunset is one of my favourite movies and i worked really hard on this one)

i thought i knew one, what did i know? - paul's girlfriend catches john and paul together (this one makes me crazy and i'm the one who wrote it lol)

tagging: @softbrah @jeanharlowseyebrows @scurator @wurmzirkus @coyotesuspect @midchelle

#tagged tag

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lovewithoutresin · 2 months

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Here’s my take, if you don’t mind my sharing it. It’s not that I’m looking to strip TGW of its original meaning. It’s that when it came out, I was like, “okay. Another song where Taylor is entirely at fault.” That’s not to say it’s a bad song, but that the theme is everywhere - Afterglow, peace, TGW, even Anti-Hero if you think about it all depicted Joe as this perfect figure who had to put up with Taylor’s many problems. It bothered me then and it bothers me now. That’s not to say TGW isn’t telling the truth, but that I wonder if there’s more to the story. A war takes two people. And I do think “maybe it was her” is probably the only time in her discography pre-YLM that she’s ever been like “maybe you did something too” about Joe. The rest of the song is about how he wanted her to trust him, how he was broken and blue, looking at her with honor and truth, and how she nearly lost him because of her poison.

Idk, maybe it’s just because I was never particularly interested in Joe so I found it to be missing some part of the story from the beginning. And we won’t know anything for sure until TTPD. But I don’t think questioning its larger narrative, narrated by someone very much unreliable due to her bias against herself and toward him, especially after Joever, is necessarily rewriting it or an attempt to ruin it.

No this is fair. And I do get how it would be a bit difficult to swallow that Joe was never really considered the villain in any of these songs. Obviously it takes two for a relationship to have friction and she obviously rewrote things in her head to blame herself a lot.

I think my thing is that like. A lot of Taylor's writing abt that relationship has been about her struggle with paranoia. And for a LOT of people (I don't know if you posted abt TGW or anything recently but if so I promise my post wasn't an indirect just ftr) it seems like Joever negates this character trait of hers in some way, because oh! She was right! Something was wrong!

And maybe that is the case, and we won't know more until TTPD, but like... as someone w BPD (here's where the personal bias kicks in), Taylor's openness about her paranoia and flight risk tendencies has been one of the things I've connected to the most over the years. So I guess it's a bit off putting to see some of the suggestions that this is suddenly not something that's genuinely a flaw of hers that she grapples with, and that it was just her lying to herself all along, because it's sort of like... first off painting paranoia/jealousy issues that she portrayed herself as working on getting over as something to demonize, ig? That's a specific tone I've only seen in a couple of posts/other people's asks though, not a broad thing. But then it also feels like it negates the idea that she may have been honest about dealing with this in herself, and it feels like people are just too eager to jump on that train.

I do like what Jaime said sometime in the last 24 hours abt it being something she genuinely dealt with that was then weaponized against her, though. And I think it's possible a more nuanced take is in order where she does deal with this, but it was made to feel like this horrible aspect of her instead of a problem they could face together, or he used it against her to paint her as overreacting when she DID see problems for what they were, or... any number of things, honestly. We can't know for sure yet! I'm just not so quick to jump on the train that she's never been afraid and wrong before, which is the tone I do see a lot of.

#also kathryn i will NEVER mind you sharing your take ilysm #you are welcome any time #rambles #answered asks #amfinallyclean

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mikunology · 5 months

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Hey!!! Congrats on hitting your donation goal first off, I'm really happy that you've got the money you need :3

Second!! At the hypothetical start of the story, where would everyone be in terms of development (like what challenges they need to overcome, etc)? Since i saw you discussing rin/len character growth things hehe >:)

hello!! thank you very much, I'm honestly really surprised I was able to meet the goal so soon?? but I'm seriously grateful ;v;

:0c!! good question! um, lessee...I was gonna write this out as paragraphs but my dumb brain isn't working correctly so I'm gonna bullet point it

Goals for Miku, summed up:

finding out what being a "hero", an "idol" and a "kind person" really means to her

become less of a coward, adapt to her new status as a heroine and realize the consequences of sitting idly/being too naive

stand up for herself and set better boundaries so that she doesn't drive herself to insanity trying to please people or letting people walk all over her

be more honest with the people around her about her feelings rather than keeping everything to herself/stop being afraid of ruining other people's images of her

learn to manage her anxiety better

Goals for Rin:

TAME YOUR EGO, MISSY. JESUS CHRIST

putting aside her self-imposed rivalry with Miku and realize that she doesn't need to be like Miku (or Len, for that matter) to be successful

learn to become more genuinely confident and not rely on bravado and arrogance

learn to be more mature and pay more mind to others' needs and desires (and realize that she can't rely on Len for everything)

learn to work better with others and handle criticism, both in terms of playing music and in terms of acting as part of the superhero team

learn to manage her temper. just a little.

Goals for Len:

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO EVERYBODY AROUND YOU I'M BEGGING

realizing that people (including his family) like him for the way he is and that everyone won't abandon him because he isn't perfect

learn to take himself less seriously and find more fun in doing things (Rin helps him with this)

learn to not get defensive and handle criticism as well

believe it or not, Kagamine Len. you are not always right

stop working yourself to death I swear to god

find genuine confidence in himself and his own abilities

Goals for Luka:

figure out what kind of person she wants to be and how to get there

figure out her own reasons for singing and fighting that don't just follow the others

learn to be comfortable with herself even if she can't be like the others

realize that logic and efficiency doesn't dictate everything and that she's allowed to have fun doing things just as much as everyone else

learn that just because she's a robot she doesn't have to put up with just anything done or said to her

learn how to better communicate how she feels and what she's thinking

I'll leave you with these for now!

#asks #vocal android verse #sorry this took a bit to answer!! had to think a little bit

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txxfiles · 4 months

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an introduction and some books

hi hotties!

the idea for this blog came from the twisted fantasy of my three closest friends and i as a way of producing something collaborative and creative without submitting ourselves to the mortifying ordeal of being known. we all get a fun little code name (i'm ruminating on magnolia, which i like but also think is a bit wanky in a way that i can't reconcile myself with spiritually just yet) and a week of the month to post whatever we want. the idea was essentially to create a platform where we get to talk uninterrupted shit about anything we want to because it’s our fucking blog, goddamit, and you’re not going to come onto our blog and tell us how to post.

and so, to kick things off, i am going to be talking about my favourite books of 2023 because i am cultured and sophisticated and definitely didn’t spend the first half of the year drowning in fae romantasy smut in an attempt to feel something. if you don’t like any of these books don’t tell me because i simply don’t care!! xoxo

non-fiction favourite - the anthropocene reviewed, john green

i spent 2023 working very hard to reprogramme my misanthropic brain, and this book was a huge part of what allowed me to do that. i’m still by no means cured of my hater tendencies, but this book was a beautifully tender examination of that little spark of humanity that connects us all, and the numerous ways in which it has manifested throughout human history and across the borders of nationality, age, and gender. green somehow manages to weave in his own life experiences in a way that avoids being preachy or self-aggrandising in a way that i think a lot of non-fiction writers really struggle with - i’d also highly recommend consuming this in audiobook form as his narration really made the experience for me.

fantasy favourite - a court of silver flames, sarah j maas

if you read this and immediately want to start lecturing me on how booktok is ruining the fantasy genre please know that im manifesting your downfall as we speak. i have my own issues with the flattening of the fantasy genre that takes place on tiktok, but the acotar series is a sugary, pulpy delight and this spinoff novel is where, in my humble opinion, it really hits its peak. as you can probably tell just by reading this, i am what is affectionately known as ‘a prickly unfriendly bitch’ in my day-to-day life, and i love seeing characters who represent me in a way that doesn’t glamourise being an unkind person - and nesta in this book is someone whose tendency to push people away isn’t justified or apologised for, and whose growth i found legitimately inspiring. also i’m still waiting for sarah j maas to stop teasing a dp scene and actually write it, the coward.

sci-fi favourite - the arc of a scythe trilogy, neal schusterman

this trilogy rocked me to my fucking core, bitch. this was another audiobook read from early 2023 and it’s one of the better pieces of speculative fiction i’ve ever encountered. schusterman pulls off some really complicated and in-depth worldbuilding in a way that doesn’t feel like i’m reading an instruction manual - something that’s genuinely hard to do in this genre - and the series only gets better as it goes. as someone who is profoundly afraid of artificial intelligence this offered a perspective on ai that i’ve not really seen in media before now - and i will also be thinking about my pookie scythe lucifer for ever and ever amen.

lit fic favourite - all the names they used for god, anjali sachdeva

i’m actually not going to talk about this one too much because it’s quite a difficult book to explain without giving away too much - not in a spoiler sense, but in a 'this is an experience that you need to go into with an open mind' sense. this is a collection of short stories that play with genre, setting, and character to tell a series of profound stories about the human struggle with fate and the pursuit of meaning. sachdeva manages to build such engrossing and vibrant worlds in the limited space she allows herself for each story - and she avoided the pitfall i find that a lot of short story anthologies fall into where you can very clearly tell that the writer had one story they desperately wanted to publish and wrote the rest as a way of filling up space for a full book.

well, those are some of my 2023 faves. i have a million honourable mentions but i’m not going to put them here because i’ve already written way too much. i’m not sure who’s taking over the reins for week 2 of this little blog experiment but be sure to give them a kiss on the forehead from me!

yours,

magnolia

#magnolia

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honeyhoneysdiary · 3 months

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Dead poets society

12-2-2024

Every now and again I go through this phase of feeling barely anything aside from boredom and uninterest; it sounds cliche and I can acknowledge it very much is, but sometimes i wonder if this 'phase' every few months is really a phase at all, but instead a constant that I forget about every no and then due to distractions like school work and my friends.

I've been going through this kind of 'everything is dull' phase recently, or at least for the last week, and there are a couple of things I've done to try and remedy it so far;

I've developed a crush on somebody at school; they're taller than me and their smile is so pretty.

I re-watched Daisy Jones and the Six, because the ending of it made me cry the first time I watched it.

And I finally got around to watching the Dead Poets Society.

The Dead Poets Society worked; I was genuinely bawling my eyes out, because what do you mean Neil Perry actually died??? He was so full of life, he had so much passion for everything around him and he killed himself because he was just completely unable to do anything with it.

It's left me with this haunted feeling, I think, the feeling that a tiny part of me is going to be forever thinking about this movie, just like when I read the Secret History and My Family and Other Animals for the first time.

But I suppose it did the job; for a while I felt so utterly devastated that I forgot how bored I was.

The crush kind of worked too, but I'm afraid that I accidentally messed that up by telling my friends about it... You see, the two friends I told about it were very varying in their responses, but one of them in particular was super enthusiastic about it, and it just kind of... I'm not entirely sure how to put this, because 'ruined it' sounds harsh, but ever since I told them, the nervous butterfly feeling in my stomach when I talked to the person I have/had a crush on before doesn't come back. I genuinely can't think of a reason this would change anything, because I like talking about this kind of thing with my friends, but I think crushes might just be the kind of think I should keep to myself in the future.

School today was alright! I had a free period in the morning so I didn't have to show up until 10am which was fun, and my politics teacher's made a collaborative spotify playlist for the class! (The catch is that all of the songs have to have a link to politics in some way, which is very fun omg.)

The vague downside of school today was that my team lost the 'socratic seminar' thing we were doing in english today, which, in my opinion, was actual bullshit because the bell went just before I could say my point. I'm not going to elaborate on this because it lowkey ruined my whole day, and I did not recover until I get home.

Some of the day's realisations:

I need to get better at public speaking.

I haven't quite managed to become un-suicidal yet, which is unfortunate.

I need to update my suicide note.

By writing this, I missed the 11pm news recap (damn).

I love the oh hellos omg.

While I can admit that today wasn't the best, I have faith that tomorrow will be better!

-honey, <3

#dear diary #digital diary #diary entry #positivity makes recovery easier!!!#honeyentries

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dream-a-little-bigger-darling000 · 3 years

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You'll Fit So Nicely You'll Keep Me Intact

Author's Note: Hello Hello! Not my GIF, please don't think it is, but it is my fic! I asked a few days ago if I should do Bane or touch-starved Tommy, and it was pretty clear I should do my sweet summer child Tommy boy. I just really think this big tough fighter needs to take a break and be held every once in awhile. And you can't tell me this man wouldn't have the sweetest moans. Fight me on it you can't. Please Please PLEASE reblog, like, or comment on this if you liked it. I live my day to day life craving validation.

If you absolutely hated it, also let me know! I admit I'm not the best at writing, and I'm willing to learn so I can feed my Tommy Conlon addiction. Ok, that's all, be fed!

2400+ words?! C'mon, that's gotta be enough to make you proud.

The whole fiasco was genuinely an accident.

The two of you, in his small cramped apartment, helping each other make dinner, because you couldn't remember whose turn it was, walking around each other like you had been doing it for years, because you had been.

You had been by Tommy for as long as you can remember, through those years where puberty slammed in the door and decked you directly in the throat (and other places), through the time where his family had slowly fallen apart, and into the years where he had joined the US Marine Corps.

Those years had been hell. At least when he moved away you were still able to text him annoying day-to-day updates and talk in the quiet nights when no one was awake to hear you admit how much you missed each other. But when he joined the Marines, you heard even less from your Tommy, and the ache you felt for him only grew.

When he came back, he had came back for good, immediately seeking you out with the promise of your old relationship back. And things went back to normal, slotted into place perfectly.

Except the insane amount of pining that you went through every waking hour you saw his stupidly attractive face.

But you weren't going to think about that. There was spaghetti to be made.

"Those are done." Tommy nodded his head to the noodles as he made the salad. You sneered to yourself, still pissed that he got the easy part.

"No, they're not, look, that one's still hard-"

"That's what she said."

"It's still undercooked you jerk. Can you please let me cook in peace? You're over there, doing the bare minimum, you ass."

"Hey, if this isn't tossed right, the whole thing is ruined. And those noodles are definitely done. We can get them in the sauce before the garlic bread is done so it'll cool down a bit. Look." All the sudden Tommy was crowded up behind you. Your breath did something funny. Probably the steam from the boiling water. Because, you know, it's so hard to breathe around.

Tommy took the spoon you were using to stir and managed to scoop up a single noodle. He then carefully picked it up and threw it on the cabinet. It stuck, but looked like it would fall via a strong sneeze.

"See? Done." You looked behind you to stare up at the infuriating man. He smiled and tilted his head. You had the sudden urge to hit him. With your mouth. Damn it.

He turned around, not giving you a chance to argue with him. That was his first mistake. As a MMA fighter, the idiot should know never to turn your back on the enemy.

You scooped up another noodle with your spoon. You waited until he was truly busy with cutting the tomatoes up for the salad.

You aimed for his head. It wrapped around the back of his neck with a soft splat. He startled for a moment, and then set the knife down and stared forward, still not turning around to look at you.

"You know what, now it's done. Now it's stickin'." You were struggling to hold it together, desperately trying not to laugh as you turned off the stovetop and set the pan aside.

You felt strong arms envelop you from behind, and you let out a loud laugh as you felt your feet leave the floor. Tommy, spinning you around before setting you on the counter. You've really put yourself it a bad position.

Well, if you're being honest, probably the best damn position you've ever been in.

Except that the bastard started tickling you. More laughter spilled out of you, uncontrollable at this point.

"Tommy!" You were out of breath from the constant attack. What happened to never turn your back on the enemy? "Tommy, what are we in-" More laughter as his joined yours. You two were so close you could feel his shoulder dip every time he rumbled a laugh. "what are we in 6th grade now- Tommy!"

You could feel his laughter huff by your ear, and you knew you had to resort to dirty tactics. If he wanted to play by middle school standards, then you had no choice but to stoop down to his level.

Tommy was very distracted trying to murder you by laughter alone, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. He never even realized your hands were so close to his head. He was in the middle of another fit of giggles when he felt your nimble hands glide through his hair. He had half a second to understand what you were planning, and he was just about to pull away, to get as far from you as possible before-

You gave a solid pull to his hair. You felt satisfaction shoot through your body as his laugh choked off, his body going rigid underneath your fingers. His breath stuttered and his hands instantly fell from your sides to grasp the edge of the counter.

You didn't quite understand what was going on at first, the only thing on your mind being that you'd won the battle. You couldn't help the smug smile from sliding across your expression, or the snarky little giggle that bubbled it's way out.

"What's wrong, Tommy? Did someone school you at your own game, hmm? Maybe next time you'll think before you-"

"Could you please let go?" Tommy sound winded, like he'd just fought a few rounds with someone much bigger than him. It made you pause, and then frown.

Your fingers loosened from his hair, but you didn't lower your arm just yet. You couldn't fathom why Tommy was acting this way, when he instigated the rough-housing. And you knew for damn sure you hadn't hurt him. You had seen the idiot stub his toe on his coffee table before, and the only reaction out of the fighter was a pause, a look up to the ceiling, and one long, drawn out sigh.

So even though he sounded like he was trying to fight for his life, you know it absolutely wasn't because you had hurt him in anyway. Tommy could break you five times over.

You looked down at his hands. Not only was he grasping the edge of the counter top, but his knuckles were white, like he was anchoring himself. You glanced to his face. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lips pressed tightly together, and his eyebrows were furrowed in deep concentration. Was he- was that a blush? His body was still pulled tight.

Experimentally, you lightly scraped your nails along his scalp.

If Tommy were to ever hear you call the sound that came from him a whimper, he'd probably swiftly and effectively dispose of your body. But it was a fucking whimper.

His eyes snapped open wide and met yours. You saw his utter mortification. You would say you felt guilty, but having your long time crush whimper while slotted between your thighs as you sat a top a kitchen counter really did things for you.

You mentally reprimanded yourself for letting your mind fall into the gutter as your friend so obviously had a small break down.

Before you could get a word out, to try talk him down from whatever thoughts were swirling in that pretty head of his, Tommy was out of kitchen. Ah, so he's chosen drama today? Coming from a man who would rather fight his own brother than talk, you can't really find it in yourself to be surprised.

"Tom." You dropped down from the counter, heading toward the living room, which was the only way he could've gone. As you rounded the corner, you saw him pacing the length of the room, his hands interlaced behind his head, elbows out, eyes wild.

"Tommy." You smoothed out your voice, pictured yourself trying to calm down a particularly flighty horse. You know, if the horse were the love of your life and you were desperately trying to make things less weird between you two before the already delicate friendship collapsed.

At your gentle prod he stopped. He let his hands fall down to his sides. He huffed once. Crossed his arms, made a face, and then dropped them. His fists curled up into balls and he closed his eyes. He opened one and looked toward you.

"You didn't hear that."

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your own arms to your chest.

He pointed to the kitchen. "That didn't happen."

Because you love your best friend very much, you didn't roll your eyes.

"Tommy. Calm down. Take a deep breath." He did not take a deep breath. You did for him. Then another one for you. You moved toward the couch, and the way he suddenly looked like he was about to sprint out the door didn't escape you. You held your hands up placatingly. Easy, boy.

You sat down, leaving enough room for him to sit beside you. He looked at you wearily. You gave him a pointed look, one that said this is something to be discussed, and there's no way you're getting out of it, and gently patted the space for him.

He looked like he'd rather do anything else. He eventually made his way to the spot and plunked down, but as close to the arm of the couch as possible.

You gave him a sweet smile. He looked away, but not before you caught the blush. You decided to let him speak first.

It was quiet for awhile. Your thoughts went to the noodles still sitting on the counter, probably cooling in the water making a film. He cleared his throat.

"I don't. Not a ton of people touch me." He stared dutifully in front of him. You stayed silent, afraid of scaring him into silence again. He shifted uncomfortably, letting out a growl of frustration. "I mean people touch me. I just meant. It's not. It's," He looked like each word was slowly strangling him, "Never that intimate. I guess. And never anyone like you."

You're eyebrows shot up. His head jerked toward you.

"Not like that, I mean like someone so pretty." You choked a little. He visibly flinched. "Ok. I think that's enough for tonight. I think I've made plenty an ass of myself for one God forsaken night." He made to move, but your hand covered his before you really thought about it. He immediately stopped, staring at your hand on top of his.

"Tommy, it's ok." He gave you a dubious look. "No, really. Lots of people don't know how to deal with touch when it's not normal for them-"

"I'm fine, I touch people all the time, it doesn't matter it's ridiculous-"

"Tommy." He stopped. You lifted both hands to slowly cradle his face. His eyes were panicky. He looked like he was fighting every instinct inside him. "Listen to me, love." His eyes widened. "You don't have to explain anything. I need you to know it's ok to freak out a little. It's ok for this to be new." You bit your lip. "It's ok if it feels good."

A small sound came from the fighter. His eyes slipped closed. It suddenly hit you. You sucked in a sharp breath, and you started to gently stroking his face to his neck.

"Oh Tommy. You spend all that time fighting in the ring, so much time dominating. You barely let anyone touch you before you knock them away." His dad was probably never there to offer him any type of physical love, and his mom was too distanced from anyone to truly give what Tommy craved. By that time, he had pushed his brother away, and you had never really noticed him to be very active in the dating area.

You could feel his control slipping, could feel him slowly letting you hold his head up while he explored the sensation of someone just feeling him. When he spoke, his speech was slightly slurred.

"Was always jus' scared."

"I know Tommy."

"Didn' want you t' leave."

"And why would I do something stupid like that."

There was a second of silence, but Tommy was too far in to go back now.

"Cuz' I only wanted you to touch. Only ever you." Your heart stopped. His eyes slowly opened, meeting yours. His gaze snapped to your lips, back up to your eyes. All it took was for your eyes to snap to his lush mouth, and he was surging to meet you.

You felt like you were melting, melding into him. His lips were sliding against yours, his hands suddenly huge, thumbs cupping your face while his hands rested on the sides of your neck. He kissed like you see him fight. The urgency and the power and the emotion. You ached all over.

You could hardly remember your name when you finally separated, heaving lungfuls of air. Maybe all that oxygen deprivation had really done something to your brain, because you might be having a stroke. It almost smelled like something was burning. Tommy's face did something funny and he sniffed the air.

Oh. OH. The garlic bread.

Both of you made a mad dash for the kitchen, Tommy arriving first and throwing the oven door open, grabbing whatever cloth he could find to take out the charred bread as you used a dishrag to flap away any smoke that spilled out.

Once he made sure his apartment wasn't going to burn down or that the ambulance wan't going to be making a surprise visit, he slumped against the counter, breathing heavily. You put your hands on your hips.

A few second went by, both of you trying to catch your breath. Tommy looked up at you. You met his eye.

You both melted into peeling laughter, trying to stay upright. It seemed like every time you two would get your shit together, you'd fall right back into cackles.

He finally reigned in the worst of the laughter, and slowly made his way to where you were standing. Your own laughs died down.

"Are we good?" you ask him gently. He nods his head, with his sweet smile.

"We're good" he replies gently. He gets this determined look on his face, and steps real close to you. He doesn't do anything else for awhile, instead looking to you, asking with questioning eyes.

You give him an encouraging smile. He smiles right back at you, and for the second time tonight, strong arms envelop you.

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thecat-isblogging-blog · 2 years

Note

i finished Home for Christmas! i must say, all these metas have worked as great companion pieces bcoz i can tell even more what u are doing!love the moment of remus immediately responding to his father's facade breaking & mood changing when he meets james. james feels like a happy escape, something you & your co-writer have hinted in metas. can you talk on that ending mood switch more? i want to know if i missed anything! looking forward to more of your work & future chapters of Toys!

Thank you so much anon! I'm happy to hear you've been enjoying the fics. It's been wonderful to also revisit my own thoughts and I can feel the writing slump starting to dwindle. <3 Remus' relationship with Lyall is fascinating to me, it's something I want to continue into my next fic which will be a Lupin and Tonks centred story. As you could probably tell, there is still a lot for this father and son to work on! Lyall, as we know from Pottermore, is a very complicated character who loves his son dearly and is paying for some very horrible mistakes in the most painful way possible. His relationship with Remus is contrasted both by Hope and James in Home for Christmas.

Canon doesn't tell us when Lyall eventually told Remus the real story behind the attack, why it happened and who did it. In this fic he hasn't yet had that conversation with his son, which provides a very heavy burden on Lyall. 'Lyall kept the truth about the attack, including the identity of the attacker, from his son, fearing Remus’s recriminations.' He doesn't want his son to hate him, he's afraid of what the truth will mean to their relationship, so he overcompensates with protection for a truth he hasn't said yet. There's a lot of tip toeing happening, although genuine and coming from a good place, it doesn't strengthen their bond in the least.

The guilt that Lyall faces, spills into Hope and spills into Remus. Hope knowing the truth, makes it easier for her to fight against it at times. Remus not knowing the truth behind this tip toeing, thinks it's because his father is overly protective and afraid of what damage Remus could do or be done to (not a wrong assumption but not quite the right one). So the three of them play this game of misunderstandings and never telling the full truth, and it piles on and on.

Before James shows up, Remus is hurt and angry at the overheard conversation. He craves to see his father get angry so he tries to push him over the edge. And yes, Lyall gets angry and Remus believes it's directed at himself when truly it isn't. Lyall is suppressing a lot of guilt, anger and sadness at his own actions, the 'ruining' of the two people he loves most in the world.

When James arrives, well what a breath of fresh air he is, and Lyall sees it. Now Lyall can't possibly know that James is aware of Remus' 'furry little problem', but what he does see is a version of his son without the burden - and that hurts deep inside of him. He realises that Remus beside him, feels the burden of his condition.

The way I view James, is a focal point for those around him, an anchor really. He plays the same role in his life and in his death, with Sirius and Remus holding onto him through their grief as a way to keep going. Even James putting his arm around Remus, it grounds him in a way his father isn't able to.

James is the most difficult character for me to write! But I love him for the strength he is to our very troubled characters. <3 My thoughts are a little bit everywhere, but I hope that answered your question anon!

#remus lupin #lyall lupin #james potter #marauders

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thissugarcane · 2 years

Text

qaf rewatch notes, 1x07

I forgot to write about the first half of this episode, but mostly, just, holy shit gale and randy are good at doing the physical scenes. it's subtle, it's believable, and it's very, very good acting: you can see how even in that sex scene where craig finds the photo of them, that there's emotion there even if brian and justin pretend there isn't. their body language is done *so well*.

basically tldr the only show on tv, maybe, that had mulitple gratuitous scenes per episode and yet hardly any of them were gratuitous??

still skipping all the michael scenes, and all the dr. dave scenes. I don't care much more about ben either, but, dr. dave is... you know, he's controlling in the same way ethan was! huh.

jenn tells craig about brian. oh, jenn. you just ruined your relationship with your son for like... seriously though. Justin basically doesn't trust her for the rest of s1, right? and then s2 she tries to keep them apart again, which breaks his trust in her all over again... maybe s3 it's better? But we don't see her much. I'll have to check s4 and see if they're really, you know.

Justin starts out being whiny in this scene, and then turns into the strong, stubborn man we know he is in order to defend Brian. "he didn't molest me and I'm not a *child*." Justin! <3 "I love him. more than anything else in my life. it's all I want, is to be with him." He stops being whiny and tries to be honest with them, and gets Craig trying to lay down the law. so instead justin walks away. bb Justin, always standing up for what he wants.

when michael cancels on studs and suds, brian looks so *sad*. but. he does *try* to be mostly supportive. like, there's A Lot to unpack about how brian treats michael -- especially in the beginning here while they're still feeling out how to be different around each other. does brian string him along? sort of, mostly? maybe? yes? but why does it? I think there's a huge steaming pile of terror behind that: of being abandoned. he keeps lindsay and michael in love with him because he doesn't know why else they'd be around him if they didn't want him... because nobody else does.

(side note: I think that's part of what brian liked about justin in the very beginning: that very 'pure', for lack of a better word, adoration. it wasn't messy, it wasn't deep or scary like Michael's. justin adored him, and didn't ask for much from him, and was pretty happy to just. be in brian's presence. it was a stable kind of thing: oh yeah. that's my teenage stalker. he adores me. brian didn't have to wonder if justin was gonna leave, because the kid refused to go. which let brian's feelings grow, slowly, because it was secure. like, to a person terrified of abandonment, being adored is flattering but it also provides hella-security: you can let your guard down some because the person has proven over and over they want you)

oh my god, brian just writing lindsay cheques and lindsay just being like "can I tell you I love you?" in her cute little voice. lindsay I hate you. like, brian must get something out of this relationship but for the LIFE OF ME I CANNOT FIGURE OUT WHAT. unless he secretly does want a wife.

dr. dave and mikey in the country, booooooring. ooh, studs and suds! el oh el, brian's sitting there getting soap suds all over this thousand-dollar jacket. and his genuine humour at emmett's antics.

ted calling brian on his bullshit about mikey: a good start for their eventual real friendship, because ted has a smart mouth, can match sharp commentary with brian, and isn't afraid of the truth

brian manipulating mikey to come back in such a way that he can blame michael's over-protective nature -- "don't even think about coming back", "it's a minor head wound, I'll be fine", knowing mikey will freak anyway... brian is testing michael. it's one of those things that fucked up people do, know that they're doing, and yet can't stop themselves (even if they want to, which at this point I don't think Brian wants to stop testing michael's love)

Justin standing up to Craig: justin has not once backed down from a bully since Brian stood up to Hobbs in the third or fourth ep. he meets craig's eyes, he's strong, while craig's face is tilted down and refusing to meet Justin's eyes

I rambled too much in this one for one post. oops.

hahahaha the impromptu party at brian's loft! why tf did they all come over anyway? did brian call them all? justin's there (we can assume) because he came for a booty call / just because, and maybe lindsay and mel are there cause brian called, but still. also, brian's comfortable being all physically couple-y with justin *already*. his calf in Justin's lap, justin holding his leg as if this is normal around the others. <3 my heart!!! <33

Mel, despite thinking brian sort of deserved consequences for fucking a 17 year old, still asks if Brian got his licence plate / info... she doesn't like him at all

Mel: "I know what he's like, his manipulations."

dr. dave comes to the conclusion that brian doesn't give a shit.... contrast that with Ben, who knows that brian gives a shit and [brian] hates it. maybe it's just because ben meets brian after prom, instead of before; though I'd argue Ben is also a lot nicer than dr. dave.

*skips the alpha posturing between brian and dr. dave* booooring.

so spoilers, I'm already leaning toward "just watch the brian/justin" scenes and i'm only on the 8th episode, lolol.

#queer as folk us #qaf #britin

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

Text

RE HOW BIGHIT MARKETS BTS

Thanks for the question dear.

Marketing is for a lot of things but in BTS's case, I'd say the primary goal of marketing them is to expose the entire group and or the individual members to an audience, a particular audience at a time, to brand them in a way that makes them appealing to that target market- to put it simply.

During one of the recent run episodes, when Jimin performed his dance from Serendipity- which I must say, God he is breathtakingly beautiful when he dances. Serendipity and the choreo is my weakness. If I see anything better than that- hold on, there's filter too. Ayayaya.

Stream Serendipity and Filter🔪

Oh and did y'all see JM's bit in Film out? Omg! I'm afraid I'd have to fly to South K to kiss his talented ass morning, afternoon, evening.

Who's coming?

Anywho, when Jimin performed Serendipity on Run and suggested that was the dance the staff was performing, the members- cough RM, quickly pointed out how he was plugging, self promoting (to Run's target audience)

Run has a different demographic.

When Suga talked about them not being funny on their Let's BTS show on KBS the Host pointed out how they were actually funny in their Run episodes.

A lot of Army(who are already fans of BTS or each individual member) watch Run but not all who watch Run are Army or even listen to BTS songs. So any performance of an individual's music or choreo would attract such a 'unique' viewer who might go on to become that member's stan or bias etc.

Similarly, when a member embarks on a solo project they are exposed to a new or unique audience. That's where most of the solo stans come from.

For V, his fanbase are not just made up of people who enjoy him as a musician but as an actor as well.

He has a strong fanbase in SK outside of 'Army' because of his exposure to the Korean market beyond BTS and this comprises of his musical collaborations with Korean Artists and film companies such as his OST Sweet Night on the series Itaewon class.

It's the same with Suga and IU, his Agust D mixtapes which draws in audiences that are not necessarily into boybands, RM's Mono whixh attracts strong hiphop fans, Jimin's dance collaborations with Taemin for example and his contemporary dance performance which attracts people in the world of contemporary dance and ballet- point in case the black swan performance at the end of the year, Jin and Hobi's MCing etc.

All these projects exposes them to unique audiences and markets outside of Army or BTS's own fanbase.

And I think the best way to understand how this is important or how this affects BigHit's marketing approach is to look at their recent YouQuiz interviews.

Jimin, Jhope and JK were paired to attract aspiring dancers or persons who want to be dancers and learn from these three dance leaders of BTS- or at least they were paired to appeal to them in my opinion.

Tae and RM were equally paired to appeal to creatives and creative minds and persons who are more into composing and writing lyrics and are full of passion and musical geniuses.

Jin and Suga were paired to appeal to mature audiences.

Ten out of ten when any pair is paired in BTS it is for marketing reasons to appeal to certain fanbase or audiences and are often strategic moves unless of course it's to balance things out to not create the impression they are promoting subunits within the group in furtherance of the BTS kumbaya agenda- Team over units or solos.

So Jikook are not gonna be allowed to sit together all the time even if they want to, neither would JinKook, or Sope.

They shake and reshuffle sometimes.

And like Tae said in his 2018 VLive, the company decides who they collaborate in or what market to promote them in.

Tae was allowed to collaborate with Adora on his Chrismas song but not Jimin- which to me is very homophobic but it goes to show the company has a say in who they work with and most importantly which market they work in.

For JK, he's been working his way within the American marke and building a strong fanbase internationally from his English covers of Justin Bieber, Troye Sivan, to his collaboration with Charlie Puth, and most recently Jason Derulo in Savage love- that's a lot of English speaking fanbase he's attracting and appealing to outside of Army.

Tae's English mixtape would achieve a similar feat and draw in a lot of English speaking fans.

Bts did the same with dynamite and coldplay's Fix you.

So by allowing JK to work with renowned Japanese Artists and film companies, collaborating and composing original sound tracks for them such as his Your eyes tell OST, Film out, etc. he is appealing to and drawing in a Japanese audience.

As Hobi explained in his 2019 January Vlive, their mixtapes, solo projects, collaborations with Artists outside of BTS are all ways for them to expand their fanbase individually and build their portfolio.

And these new fans are mostly going to be solo stans who stan him for his music composing abilities but of course some may fall in love with BTS as well and go on to become Army so it's a win win situation.

WOULDN'T THE OTHERS OBJECT

Yes and no.

As long as the company isn't pushing him as a soloist outside of BTS and creating a separate brand with him outside of BTS's own brand I don't think the boys would object to it.

That was the problem they had/have with Jikook. In my opinion.

The company branding Jikook, distinctifying them from the group as a 'couple' subunit, selling their chemistry to fans and advertisers really doesn't and didn't sit well with the group. AT ALL.

In my opinion of course.

You can't create a brand within a brand.

It goes against Bang PD's own objective of prioritizing the team over all else which is what sold the members in the first place.

I just think in JK's case, since 2020, they are just trying to help him find himself and his bearing and his purpose.

He's been trying to find himself since 2020 and he'd talked about losing his passion and had had his passion hijacked and commercialized by the company.

He used to say he didn't know what he was going to do with himself and his life and career after BTS- having him work on music videos, directing, composing, reading these are all ways that they are doing right by him if you ask me.

They are helping him not trying to push their own agendas- which is not to say they might not change their minds about it in the future.

JK is an artist being managed by the company and they owe a duty to him to make the right business decisions for him with his consent- can't stress on the consent bit enough.

Personally, I'm happy about Japan because they are and are shaping out to be queer friendly and have a bit of progressive laws and conducive environments for queer artists to flourish in- if coming out would ruin their careers that's one less worry.

Which by the way I hate anyone who peddles this 'coming out will ruin their careers' nonsense because I can tell you one hundred percent that that is rooted in homophobia and it's not OK.

Don't tell that to no queer people shut up. You are not helping.

I know some say that out of genuine concerns for the boys but PLEASE DON'T. Don't use fear to keep queer people hidden and out of sight. Don't promote closet safety. Rhetorics like that only perpetuate queer invisibility and homophobia- do I need to spell it out to your liberal homophobic ass?!

Coming out is entirely up to them regardless of the risk you think is involved. If they want to take it. They'll take it. It's their choice to make regardless of whatever consequence.

That there are or should be consequences is a problem in of itself.

I don't want to hear 'if JK comes out he's been stupid and reckless and putting Jimin's career at risk'

'If he loves Jimin he wouldn't come out'

Go ahead kiss it😌

If he wants to stay closested respect it. If he wants to come out RESPECT IT TOO.

Support him either ways goddammit!

Y'all gone get me bothered like that huh.

JK POTENTIALLY WITHOUT JIMIN

They both have different career objectives.

I know Jimin says JK is imitating him but chilee JK is his own person. Lol.

Jimin plays too much.

He has his own aspirations.

In 2014 Jimin posted this Christmas song he did with JK. In 2020 he posted his own Christmas song without Jk.

It's not hard to see where his interests in music lie as a musician.

JK covered We don't talk anymore by himself and later did a collaboration with Jimin on the same song. He's done Fools with RM- see where I'm going with this?

Suga said he was more likely to write pop songs for JK but write dance songs for Jimin.

Jk said in the Be interviews bang PD advised him to consider dance performances when writing songs as he himself is a dancer too and need to incorporate in his compositions.

They are two distinct artists and at some point it would become necessary to brand, promote and encourage their uniqueness in their professional lives. They don't got to be tethered to each other all the time.

Personally, I don't think BigHit would want to push official subunits within BTS- yet and it's inclination towards Jikook have always been because of their marketing appeal rather than to further a career objective for both of them.

This goes back to the pairing objectives I talked about earlier. If they are going to pair Jikook professionally as an official subunit within the group it wouldn't be because they are a couple and ought to be together all the time but because it is smart for them to do so business wise.

If their pairing isn't commercially profitable they won't be paired at all- unless of course Jikook themselves want and request to be paired in that way. Know what I mean?

They each signed separate contracts with the company from day dot. They didn't sign on as a unit.

Whether or not they've decided they are a package deal I cannot say- yet, as their new contract just came into effect.

We would have to observe how they are being handled by the company going forward.

HE'D NEVER DO IT WOULD HE

Come now sis...

It's not like he's leaving Jimin😅

Jimin and Jhope were equally sent to Japan for promotion purposes without JK.

Out of all seven, Namjoon is the most promoted member in the international Market not just because he speaks English but because he is often made the spokes person for the group in interviews, at awards straight up to the UN.

Look how happy they all were and how chatty they were at the KBS Let's BTS interview.

I mean they all talked about it. About how they can't say much on foreign forums and often step into Namjoon's shadows.

RM is the most recognized and dare I say the most liked member out of all seven in the international market outside Army and their music profession.

In Japan they all have a chance to be front and center at interviews etc.

It just so happens that JK as it stands is the one member pushing to build a portfolio within that market.

Let's pray he gets mainstream and build a strong presence within the music industry there because we all know he's gonna drag Jimin up there with him😏

Just pay attention to the songs he's written and the parts Jimin sings in them- he makes Jimin shine on those songs.

They have so much potential my God.

Let's support them individually and as a unit.

I purple you and sorry I had to respond here.

Stay gold. Let's keep supporting and rooting for our guys.

Signed,

GOLDY

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imo-chan-imagines · 4 years

Text

『 As your boyfriend | FKBU Headcanons 』

Characters: female!reader, Kambe Daisuke, Kato Haru

Tags/warnings: Fugou Keiji Balance: Unlimited (anime), 18+, strong sexual references, fluff, angst, Haru's PTSD, headcanons, daddy kink and cockwarming (kind of?) for Daisuke, breeding kink for Haru *coughing intensifies*

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Felt like writing some more for these boys because ~holy shit~ do I love them, and I maybe went a teensy bit overboard. Oopsie! 🤭 But anyway, have y'all seen episode 6?! Let's freaking gooo! (No spoilers, don't worry) Thanks for reading! Enjoy! Imo~

Kambe Daisuke

First up: daddy kink. I know it, you know it, we all know it. So let's not beat about the bush

Quite dominant and firm with you (see: daddy kink)

But he absolutely loves spoiling you

Expensive gifts, like one-of-a-kind necklaces, seductive perfumes, satin dresses, lace underwear, etc.

He loves dressing you up and showing you off

But he also loves spoiling you in bed more like ruining, I am deceased

A lot of butt grabbing in public hnng

He likes it when you don't wear any underwear because it makes for easier quickies like bent over the sink in the bathroom at his favourite club

He likes you sitting on his lap in front of people, too aye papi

American gangster vibes, honestly

He's not really one for soppy, romantic PDA, but he loves you letting people know that it's him you want and nobody else

He loves the look on people's faces when you call him 'daddy' that grin will be the death of me

Especially the look on Haru's face, lmao. He blushed like a tomato and couldn't speak a coherent sentence for a whole hour

Hickeys. Lots and lots of hickeys. And don't even think about covering them up

Daisuke loves sleeping naked and has a habit of walking around the house in just a towel when he gets out the shower fight me

He's also completely oblivious to what it does to you

A MASSIVE bed with super soft, satiny sheets. They feel like clouds uwu

He gets HEUSC to remind him of important dates, like birthdays, anniversaries, etc.

Date Ideas: Unlimited sorry, not sorry

From fancy restaurants, to exclusive movie premieres, to late night helicopter rides to the other side of the country, Daisuke can and will pay for anything if it makes you happy

He also lets you introduce him to lots of new things, like trying different kinds of street food on dates, going rowing on the pond in the park, having a go at karaoke, renting bikes and cycling round the city, going hiking at the nearest nature reserve or wilderness, etc. adorable

He's like a curious kitten when he's trying new things, putting a lot of trust in you to guide him through it

He always looks perfect in the photos you snap, even the ones he wasn't aware you were taking, and it's a lowkey frustrating that he nearly always looks prettier than you

But it's not his fault, so you'll only pout for a little while

His face is pretty hard to read most of the time, but you eventually get used to it and pick up on all his little mood indicators

His ears move when he's happy, and you can't convince me otherwise

He'll hold your heels for you when your feet hurt on a night out

He smells of leather and sandalwood, and his kisses taste of expensive whisky and cigars

He loves it when you bite his lower lip while making out

He's kind of possessive, but in a protective way

He never thought of himself as a particularly jealous person, until one night he came back to the bar and saw some other guy hitting on you the attention was definitely unwanted on your side

It made his blood boil – clenched fists, piercing glare if looks could kill

But he managed to stay calm and maturely tell the guy to get lost, with his arm snaking round your waist

Daisuke made it very clear that it wasn't you he didn't trust. It was that he didn't trust that guy – or any guy, for that matter

His favourite ~position~ is on a table or other surface with your legs over his shoulders

He's a god at eating you out

He's a god at everything in the bedroom, tbh

Saint Laurent condoms, because he's that fucking extra I'm screaming

His hair always falls out of place when you're fucking it's so hot and cute, wtf

It's a lot of glitz and glamour on the surface, but when it's just the two of you, you know just how much you mean to him

The King of Aftercare™

He used to suck at aftercare until he properly tried it. Then he realised that he needed it as much as you did le cry

Back rubs, forehead kisses, playing with your hair, soft whispers in your ear

He holds you so tightly that it gets hard to breathe, and you can feel his heart beating hard against your back

Sometimes he likes to just stay inside you after finishing

He enjoys the feeling of you around him, and honestly, you like just feeling him being inside you cockwarming, kind of?

Soft little nuzzles with his nose in his sleep even better when he's fallen asleep while still inside you

He's not perfect, but being with you makes him try to be better

Help, my heart's so full 🤧

Kato Haru

This man is a sweetie pie, honestly

Not just boyfriend material, but husband material put a ring on it, hun

Lots of home cooking, and it all tastes so good you honestly believe he could just quit being a cop and open up a restaurant

He loves cooking with you, too. It's fun bonding time

Sometimes he stands behind you and guides your hands etc. it sometimes goes a little further, if ya know what I'm saying 👀

Knows how to do all the chores and housework, and actually does his share look at my practical hubby

Random pillow fights that turn into cuddle sessions

He talks in his sleep waaahh, so cute

Sometimes it's utter nonsense, like 'Don't let the donuts escape'

Other times, it's things like, 'I love Y/N so much,' or 'Let's have babies,' while he's holding onto you, and you just melt

Spooning. So much spooning

Lots of budget date ideas, like building pillow forts, watching sunsets and stargazing from the balcony, going for hikes and runs together, going for picnics, feeding ducks at the pond, etc.

One time, a duck chased him around the pond because he had the bread, and he had to run for 20 minutes before it gave up thank God for all that cardio

The Master of Flat Pack Furniture™ – because he takes his time and actually reads the instructions

Daisuke had a ™ so Haru needed one too

Takes good care of you on your period and actually knows about different sanitary products

He smells really fresh and clean, like Imperial Leather soap and air-dried laundry as long as he hasn't been on a stakeout, lmao

He loves taking showers with you, but like, actual showers

The first and only time you had shower sex was hot and steamy until:

1. You realised that water does not a good lube make and 2. He slipped and accidentally shoved his dick in your ass instead

You fully passed out, and he was so frantic that he bundled you into the car and drove you straight to the ER you were in just a towel, might I add

You both look back on it now and laugh, but he was genuinely scared

Shower sex = never again

But he loves it when you straddle his lap and start grinding on him bonus points if you kiss his neck and run your hands through his hair

He's a pretty vanilla boy when it comes to sex, preferring positions like missionary and cowgirl, and liking a fairly even balance of power

He got super embarrassed and flustered when he finally mustered up the courage to suggest having car sex

And then even more embarrassed and flustered when you actually ended up doing it

He was blushing so hard the entire time and came really quickly, which only added to his embarrassment but you thought it was cute

He has really sensitive nipples which you use to your advantage

He absolutely loves hates it when you send him nudes or try and sext him while he's at work, because he gets a massive boner and will either have to live with it and probably get laughed at by those goobs in the office, or deal with it in the bathroom, which feels wrong to him on so many levels

Doesn't really stop you sending them though, because whenever you do, he comes home and fucks you really well

One thing that's not vanilla about him is how much he likes cumming inside you breeding kink, welcome to the party. Please take a seat

He didn't tell you about it for the longest time because he was embarrassed about it and was afraid you'd think it was gross or something please cum in me, sir

He was so relieved when you were understanding about it and open to the idea of indulging him

But he genuinely really wants kids some day he'd be a great dad

His PTSD doesn't stop him being a good boyfriend, but he's convinced that it does

Most days he seems okay, like he's over it, even

But sometimes you'll wake up in the middle of the night and find him curled up in the bath, shaking and crying into his knees my poor baby, I can't

Excuse me while I go and cry into my pillow for a while

You're his safety net

When he feels like he's drowning, you keep his head above the water until the waves eventually calm and recede, and he can breathe again

He hates putting so much on your shoulders

But you swear to him that you wouldn't want to be doing anything else, and that you're not going anywhere

This got so angsty, my heart can't take this 😭

#imo chan imagines #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #fkbu #the millionaire detective balance: unlimited #fkbu headcanons #fkbu x reader #kambe daisuke #kato haru #kambe daisuke x reader #kato haru x reader #fkbu smut #fkbu fluff #fkbu angst #i love them so much #one does not simply choose between daisuke and haru #both? both is good

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serenityseventeen · 3 years

Text

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Thirteenth Letter

----------------

To: Lee Chan

From: Y/N

How are you, Chan?

I feel like I've seen this kind of storyline before. A summer romance that ends with you ghosting me.

I've been looking for work as I've told you before summer ended. I wonder what you are doing now. Now that the summer dance club where we met is closing, I can't see you anymore. You don't answer my calls either which leaves me to assume that you and I weren't dating seriously.

Gosh, I should have seen the red flags when you and I seemed to progress too fast into our relationship; but I just ignored them because you had me flipped out, falling for you head over heels. The way you spoke to me, smiled at me, gazed at me, the way you acted around me, I was convinced that you were just confidently liking me.

To begin this strange love story, should I start from the beginning, Chan?

Well, I graduated from grad school with my degree. I noticed that I was gaining a bit of weight so to try and burn it off, I joined this summer dance club. You were one of the members and immediately, when I spotted you practicing in front of the people, with confidence, your moves swift, I was amazed. I didn't expect that someone like you would fall for me.

Chan, you look like a genuine, passionate dancer. You told me that you've been dancing all your life and from that first impression, I was able to tell that.

When I joined the dancing club, I had not danced in a while. Yet, you taught me with so much care. I didn't ask for your help but you approached me first whenever I was struggling to learn a choreography. You taught me head-on and took the lead.

Your leadership skills are also amazing, Chan.

Before we both knew it, we were learning and practicing for long hours in the summer, sweat trickling down the sides of our heads to the point where our hair was wet. Your hair was wet from sweat a lot of the time but to me, you looked extremely masculine and handsome that way. We practiced so much that it was nighttime by the time both of us decided to call it a day. We were usually the only ones left.

Before we started dating, you would always give me water and wipe my sweat for me. It hadn't even been two weeks of getting to know each other when we had our first kiss in the practice room.

You and I were exhausted and leaning against the wall, sipping water.

“This is fun,” I commented.

I know you probably don't know, but I noticed you staring at my lips. I just didn't want to say it out loud in fear of ruining the nice atmosphere. The air conditioner was blasting cool air and since I was feeling so sticky, I just closed my eyes and let the floating cool air brush over my skin.

I don't know what you were doing but I'll guess that you were staring at my lips; because that's when I felt a pair of soft lips press onto mine. I was flustered at first, having your arm block all my possible exits, leaving me in your enclosed space. Our lips locked for a few seconds before I pulled you in closer, deepening the kiss. I placed my hands on your jaw, caressing you gently as your kisses became more passionate. It just felt like the right thing to do as my heart burned with fluttering butterflies.

Since it was summer, we both had quite a lot of time on our hands, but from time to time, I had to study too. I'm planning to start training in my line of work soon.

Well, we were able to hang out around each other a lot. I, believing you liked me, treated you like my boyfriend. You treated me like your significant other. We were dating. You behaved so sweetly around me, showering me with soft kisses on my cheek, surprise dates. Spending time with you was fun and wild.

When people left the practice room, we would linger with the practice being our excuse, but then I would be sitting down on your thighs, facing you, my arms wrapped around your shoulders and your hands holding my hips. We would be kissing, making out, cuddling.

I enjoyed every second of it. I was falling for you fast, I was falling for you hard.

What about you?

How did you feel about me?

Sometimes, I would find it strange how easily you told me that you liked me, and every time, it sounded genuine. Whenever you're walking me home on a hot summer night, you always tell me that you like or love me before you leave. I would say the same back to you.

I don't think you're a fuckboy or something like that. You seem way too innocent for that. To me, you seemed like a mischievous boy that was also a masculine man.

At the same time though, what we had seemed to be mainly physical.

No, sorry. I shouldn't be thinking of it that way.

You and I spent a lot of time together and with you, I was very happy. I was able to forget about anything hard and just have fun, in the moment, with you. Whether it was me straddling you on the couch, us sleeping together, waking up together, cooking together, I was happy through it all. We had fun and refreshing summer dates at the beach playing in the water, splashing waves at each other before you pull me in and give me a passionate kiss with the golden summer sunset in the back.

But now, I start to realize everything; from the incredibly fast pace of our relationship and the way we found joy in our physical desires. Now, I realize it.

In the end, I barely know who you are, Chan. You never really talked about yourself. You told me a few things, like how you had a younger brother, how you wanted to become an idol, how you dreamed of performing on stage, but during those summer months we spent together and dated, we were still learning about each other. You were learning about me and I was learning about you.

Yet, the way you treated me and made me feel special makes me sure that I do love you. I probably love you more than you love me but, of course, I can never know that.

I can't reach you now and it seems as if your number was fake all along. I don't see you in the places we used to hang out. When I asked the dance club members, it seemed like they knew more than I did about my boyfriend, but every answer was different.

Some told me that you auditioned for a company and got accepted.

Some told me that you were already a trainee.

Some told me that your family was planning to move.

Some told me that you were continuing your life as usual but didn't specify any details.

I don't know what to believe. If you are an idol trainee then, well, good for you. I guess I was just something to fulfill your desires that had been kept inside for a long time. If you got accepted, well, good for you again. I hope you debut since it's always been your dream.

If you're purposely ignoring me, I don't know why you would, but as you can see, I have a few theories. If you didn't love me back, you could have just told me that you wanted a summer fling instead of a summer romance and relationship because then, I would have rejected you firmly.

Were our memories nothing to you?

We never properly broke up either, why is it that you're suddenly ignoring me? Where did you go off to? Are you ghosting me? Why did you suddenly disappear like that? Did you never love me? Was our relationship nothing?

I have so many questions, why won't you answer them?

I'm afraid that the person I loved wasn't the person I loved at all. I hope that you didn't lie to me.

If we ever meet again, what would you say? What would you say to my sincerity? What would you do?

I hope that you can remember these memories just as much as I will. I hate thinking that I was just an escape for you, a goat that you used to fulfill your desires. If you really are who I know, then I won't have any doubts that you would remember everything.

Chan, you seem like a pure guy. You never really lied to me. You would always play around with me, making me feel like a youngster in love. Just looking at your face, I could see the purity and curiosity you have within yourself.

Up until now, I will believe that you gave me all of you. I will continue to believe that you encountered something unfortunate or fortunate and now, we can't meet nor contact each other. I will continue to believe everything positive because I loved you.

I won't wait for you though, Chan.

I remember this one thing you told me, do you remember it too?

Now that I think about it, it seems like you asked that on purpose, perhaps foreshadowing your future disappearance.

We were leaning against a fence, watching the orange and purple ombre sunset and its reflection on the rippling waves of the ocean.

You had your arms warmly wrapped around my waist, your head buried in the crook of my neck, when you asked with a muffled voice, “If you had to wait for someone who was indefinitely coming back, what would you do?”

You kissed my neck softly with your gentle lips, tightening your hands. I felt my heart thump out of my chest.

“Hmm... I don't think I would wait.”

You seemed to be a bit surprised by my answer. I didn't think of this question as anything special then, just pure curiosity.

“Why not?” You asked, planting another kiss on my neck afterward.

“They are leaving and it's indefinite when they would come back. I wouldn't wait for them, when they come back, they just do. I shouldn't worry myself with waiting.”

You nodded gently and then brought your hand to my chin, kissing me again.

I'll do exactly as I said.

I won't wait for you. I loved you and since your comeback is indefinite, I'll also write this. I can't tell you it in person, so I can't get your answer, but I will consider it this way, even if you do appear in my life again.

My last words to you, who I can't reach.

I hope you're doing fine.

I'm breaking up with you.

Yours truly,

Y/N.

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7/14/21 - 10:19 am

a/n: GoSe today!!! I'm excited, I'll watch the episode when I eat! + I've finished this series, hooray! I'm sure one day, when I'm a better writer, I'll come back and possibly revise this. Thank you to everyone who read this series!

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dapper-ships-herself · 4 years

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@dokiqx @raudrfox2

The answer changes a bit depending on the s/i, so I'm gonna start with more general and like personal and then go into my s/is.

Dazai and I both, let's say wrestle with certain feelings about life and the world around us. When it feels like you're adrift and very little matters, it helps a great deal to have someone to ground you, and that's Dazai and I for each other. When the world is cruel, we can reach out our hands and feel the warmth, and through that feel safe and real. Neither of us are used to letting ourselves be fully vulnerable to the people around us, we're always masking something, maybe not for entirely the same reasons, but we are. Our relationship is when we both let those walls fall bit by bit, letting go of fear and trepidation. He never even thought he could feel real love before, both of us had thought we weren't worthy of it.

And Dazai is a genius, he's amazing and confident in his abilities, he can see straight through pretty much anyone, so I think why would he even want me, I'm so boring and predictable, I'm not a fan of taking risks and putting myself out there. But Dazai sees all my good qualities, he appreciates my strong empathy and my compassion, he sees how even though I struggle with my own worth I put so much worth into the lives around me, and I have a fun way of thinking about a lot of things, I'm creative bright even when I think I'm not. I become like a fresh, sunny spring day for his soul. And Dazai, his hands are so stained and his mind so jaded, even as he works to redeem himself and be on the side that saves people, he thinks there's too much darkness to ever truly be washed away. But I know that even though he's done a lot of bad, what matters most is what he's doing now; he's trying so hard to be good, to move away from the darkness that only acted as a negative feedback loop for him, that was never good for a boy with a mind like his. He is actively trying to be a good man, and I remind him of that. Neither of us are ever going to be perfect, but that's fine when we're together through our flaws. And through it all, we help each other see the beautiful things to live for.

Okay, now let's go into some specifics for the s/is.

ADA! Gillian has been through some pretty deep trauma with the loss of her little sister when they were kids, and at the time she thought she'd never ever recover from that and stay in the emotionless darkness forever, but with the help of Fukuzawa and Ranpo and the other agency members, she was able to heal. Despite the guilt and trauma that still sticks to her, how easy it would be to write the world off as simply cruel and uncaring, that's not her style. She loves the world, she loves the people in it, she knows that there's darkness but that only means that the rest of them should try their hardest to spread as much love and compassion as they can to balance that out. To Dazai, her unwavering light is strange but so calming. She's so strong in her determination to protect her family and everyone and everything that needs saving, it really touches something in him. She teaches him that it's okay, that they deserve to laugh and love and live, and she helps show him how to actively view the world for it's good parts. Even if someday it's hard, some days she's sad and can't forget the past, some days she tries very hard to push away the anger that festers in her at the unfairness that abounds, she still tries and now they can stand by each other's sides and try together. And he also knows what it's like to suffer and lose the one person who's most important, and he helps her confront the guilt that still clings to her, in fact that's something mutual. And she also, even though she accepts and appreciates her ability for how it lets her help people, it's also an ability that takes away a person's free will and can cause a lot of destruction, and she is afraid of the inherent evilness of it, and though Dazai respects how she's made the concious choice to only use it to help people, he sees her fear and helps her accept it.

Mafia! Gillian and Dazai probably have the most complicated relationship of all. Neither really wanted friends or saw the use of them, but they became each other's first real friend after he joins the mafia. They connect and resonate in a much stronger and more natural way than either were really prepared for; and then they were part of the quartet with Ango and Oda too, and she loved them all. She could be quoted as saying the three of them were probably the only things keeping her sane in the Port Mafia. And then she went away on a mission for a few weeks, no contact with her friends, and suddenly that little slice of joy she had was shattered, Oda was killed, Ango had been a double agent the whole time, and Dazai had abandoned her without so much as a good bye, much less and explanation. It sent her to a dark place for a while. She wanted to hate Dazai, and she certainly felt bitter, but she couldn't bring herself to hate him; how could she, really. She disliked being in the Port Mafia, but not only does she feel she'd have no where else to go, that if she left she'd be leaving her father, Ougai, aka the only person who's ever seen to genuinely want her around and stay that way, but her ability is literally to control darkness and too much light literally causes her pain and discomfort, it's clear to her that she was born to forever stay in the world of darkness and never be able to stand in the light. When she and Dazai eventually meet again four years after he left the mafia, there's a lot of complicated feelings too work through. She's bitter and angry and can't understand why he'd leave her like that if their friendship really meant anything; Dazai thought it was the right move at the time, he justified it to himself by reasoning that he knew she felt chained to the mafia and he had to leave quickly and cleanly in order to successfully rid himself of his dark past, he couldn't risk waiting for her to come back from her mission and having to convince her. But, really, he was afraid. After all, he's convinced that everything he desires will slip through his fingers the moment he obtains it. If he tried to hold on to the happiness she brought him and selfishly took her with him, he'd only bring her ruin some other way, and he wasn't deserving of her. He genuinely does regret it though, and it's not easy for him to admit that he was wrong but he knows that this is one instance where he was so terribly wrong. They have to work through these feelings in order to get anywhere, and she also has to realize that she does have the capability to step into the light, which she does partially with Dazai's help. There's a lot of fighting through the bullshit to finally be together.

Jekyll! Gillian takes the stuff mentioned earlier about always masking some part of ourselves to the extreme. Her ability, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, literally manifests her jaded view of the world into a physical creature of chaos, aka Hyde. And she rejects Hyde hardcore, that's why she's so unstable, destructive, and difficult to control, as well as hates her in return. She puts on the sugariest of sweet faces to try and mask this darkness, but Dazai is able to see it. He recognizes her mask easily, because he's basically doing the exact same thing. Eventually, after a lot of plot haha, they're able to help each other let go of their facades a bit and better accept themselves for who they are. They find this kinship in each other that honestly makes it easier for them to let go of their guards at least a little bit. They both hold a lot of jaded darkness with themselves, and they've both done some pretty terrible things and dirtied their hands, him in the mafia and her in the Order of the Clocktower, and they were both able to break away from that to try and become better people, and that's really nice for them to be able to relate to each other.

Circus! Gillian is, true to the name of her troupe the Circus of the Disillusioned, disillusioned about much of the world. It's dirty and cruel and not on your side. But, the circus always promoted family, the whole reason Voltaire formed the troupe was to attempt to not lay there and accept their wretched fate, that they as humans should try and create at least small pockets of a world more right and colorful. And this ideal stays with her. So yeah, they're both not huge fans of the world, but she has a more innate desire to change that, and she believes it's the duty of humans to fight through and not back away from the world through means like suicide (does that make sense? Trying to word it properly). So she actually is pretty, hm, disgusted is too strong of a word to use, she clashes a lot with Dazai's suicidal jokes. And she's too tsundere and jaded herself to outright be all flowery ~I will help you~, but that sort of discussion is a theme between them early on. Their abilities are foils for each other as well, Dazai is an ability nullifier, she's an ability amplifier, and that sort of reflects their views too.

Guild! Gillian at first seems to have the most innocent view of the world, after all she's rich and spoiled by her father, Francis. And she acts rather carefree too, like someone who's always been secure and never known difficulty. But she has known pain, and there's more than a naive rich girl beneath the surface. She's cunning and knows how to read people, she's been trained in the art of business since she was a child and had it drilled into her that you must never roll over for the world. She's also been taught that she's the daughter of the great Fitzgerald, which means she's meant for greatness too, and she hides it from her father but that's left her with a desperation to prove herself and live up to a great big shadow. But she's genuinely kind too, she loves the world for it's flaws and wants to support the people in it. So yeah, they're ways of thinking clash a bit, but at the same time they work perfectly in other aspects. At first, it's more like he's interested in her for the sort of contradictions she poses, but he starts to genuinely respect her and admire how she chooses to see kindness and work for it, how she takes things in to her own hands to make the world she sees in her mind real. And she respects him for his intellect and eventually for his resolve once she learns of his past. And respect is pretty much the bud that will bloom into love.

There's a lot of fighting to find the light in the dark and acceptance of ourselves.

I hope this was all coherent and not to rambly ha.

#self ship #selfship #self shipping #selfshipping #self insert #dapper answers #dazian #dapper inserts #dapper inserts: ada #dapper inserts: mafia #dapper inserts: jekyll #dapper inserts: circus #dapper inserts: guild

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confusedinfj · 6 years

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The INFJ'S Guidebook to People: Spotting Entps

So you've tried typing by the letters and by the cognitive functions. Now you're looking to verify your typing makes sense. What are some key attritubes you should be looking for...?

A real entp is...

Not super Extraverted. Like enfps, their first function isn't about people, it's about possibilities.

Able to be mistyped as an Extraverted thinker. They like to 'think' out loud, or so it seems. They're actually just showing off. Alternatively, you're hearing their Ne. You'll be able tell the difference if you ask them for their opinion and then realise how much quieter they are.

Afraid of upsetting people. Can be easily manipulated on occasion.

Not sure of what they're feeling. Able to be convinced they're feeling anything.

Able to be excited about anything. Tell them they'd make a good doctor and watch them plan their lives as a doctor.

Usually highly intelligent.

Involved in way too many things at once.

Probably stressed because of all the things they're doing.

Accidentally flirting with everyone. They love banter, so it doesn't mean they actually like the person they're flirting with. Unlikely to lead someone on though because it's obviously playful.

Bad at remembering things. Able to throw a tantrum and then forget they did it.

Annoying. Probably the most annoying of the types in that everyone finds them annoying.

A sticky beak. They have FOMO bad.

Kind hearted. Even when they're annoying they mean well.

Liked by everyone.

Loyal.

Fond of a good bargain.

Not fussy. Happy to sleep on a bed off the side of the road.

Fussy. Just because their headphones are broken doesn't mean they're going to get new ones. They're still the best headphones ever. Also, their clothes may be all over the floor, but don't you dare put them back in the wrong spot.

Pretty happy and oblivious as kids. They often get in trouble for arguing, and then make it worse by arguing why they shouldn't get in trouble.

Rational. They like weighing up pros and cons and using reason to determine the best cause of action (Ti)

Romantic. Entps see so many possibilities and prefer not to filter their dreams through logic. You'll find that your entp friend probably has hundreds of romantic dreams they're keeping to themselves, whether it's running a farm or ruling the world.

Kind of lonely. Like enfps, most people like them, but they don't really have any close friends.

A dangerous driver. They like to speed and will justify their speeding. Just for my husband's sake, I would like to point out that it's not just him. I have another entp friend who likes to drive at 200km/h on Freeways, and another who ruins a car every other month. I actually can't believe all entps aren't dead because of their bad driving.

Sadly, a natural lawyer. They will argue about anything as if they're in a court of law, even personal matters.

Probably not aware that they're lonely.

Blunt without realising it. May really upset you without trying.

Often not aware of people being mean to them. People often mistakenly think they're patient when they are just oblivious.

Oblivious. Probably won't notice they upset you. You'll need to tell them. They will try to argue it away, so you'll need to be forthright. When they finally understand how upset you were they'll probably cry. Tertiary Fe being triggered brings on tears.

Usually pretty easy to calm down if they are stressed or crying. Since they're still rationals they like advice when they're upset.

Over defensive. Entps are often oblivious when people are mean to them, but they're also not good at telling when you're NOT being mean to them. This leads them to take offence at random things and be overly defensive about it because they feel attacked.

Messy and disorganised. Usually clean. Likely to obsessively organise one drawer when stressed, ignoring the rest of their messy house (inferior Si).

Good at taking constructive criticism. Or just criticism. Entps genuinely want to grow personally.

Argumentative. But more in a bickering kind of style, in that they just LOVE arguing about anything for no good reason. Tip: if an entp starts arguing over something stupid with you, tell them they're arguing. They will argue they're not and won't even realise the irony for a good five minutes. 😂

Usually quiet.

LOUD. there is no in-between for an entp. They get louder as they get more excited and happy.

Always working on some strange puzzle.

Sometimes creating weird puzzles. For example, my husband went through a stage where everything he would put in the calendar was in some code. The only problem was when he forgot one or two of them I had no clue what he had meant either. (and when I say code, it was like, 'I have the dentist on Monday. The dentist's name is Gordon, like the tank engine, and Gordon the tank engine is green. Green reminds me of lettuce, which is in the story of rapunzel. So imma write down rapunzel).

Soft. Even if they don't cry in public, they might tear up easily.

Big criers.

A type that naturally seems to have a bit of adhd.

A good judge of character. Sometimes they can be over optimistic though, because they really want to like everyone.

Suddenly overwhelmed. Entps will take on more and more AND MORE until... MELT DOWN. This looks like tears and losing track of everything all at once. May bring about spectacular failure if damage control doesn't occur quickly.

Things an entp might say...

'that's a cute dog. I'd like to get a dog one day. What kind of dog should I get? I don't know, I don't know any dog breeds. I think I'd name it Harold though. Only if it was a boy. Otherwise it would be Charlie...' or any other stream of consciousness monologue (Ne)

Anything that baits you into a debate. Eg, 'isn't it great how Trump wants to build a wall?'

Anything that baits you into bickering. Eg, 'I didn't say that'.

'I don't know', with regards to their opinion or feelings. This is a bad sign if it is followed by a pause, because it means they do know, they just don't want to tell you. If they really don't know it will be followed by a list of potential reasons.

'You say I annoyed you at precisely 2.15 pm. If this is the case, then why did you laugh at my joke at 2.16pm?' or any other legal speak during a personal argument.

'Do you know Hitler introduced a similar law to the one I'm breaking now? This law is evil and I don't have to follow it for that reason' or similar.

An extremely ambitious ambition such as, 'one day I'll own the moon'

Anything sad said cheerfully. For example, my husband once cheerfully told me about his friend in grade five. He finished with, 'anyway, he's dead now'.

A story that they've started half way through. They forgot the first half was in their head.

Anything annoying.

Something sweet with heart eyes.

An example of a rational but romantic entp - Tom Holland

#the infj's guidebook to people #mbti #entp #spotting entps #finn wolfhard #celebrity mbti

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