#Michael Jacksons beautiful girlfriend
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The space is made by Michael Jacksons former girlfriend and her name is Christina Maloue Engelhardt and Flower 🌸 🙄😳😮😯😲
#Michael Jackson#Michael Jacksons secret girlfriend#Michael Jackson 2023#the king of pop#Michael Jacksons Untold Story#shocking#michael jackson bad#michael joseph jackson#Michael Jacksons beautiful girlfriend#King of pop#hollywood#hollywood news#mjj fans#mj love#to bad#she is so beautiful
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#michael jackson#christinamaloueengelhardt#the king of pop#michael jackson rare#michael jackson history tour#michael joseph jackson#mjj#music#love#michael jackson's girlfriend#beautiful#best dancer
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how you start dating shuriri headcanons (+18)
fluff and a little smut!
i’m so utterly obsessed with these two and the possibilities of a romantic relationship with them so you know i had to write it; hope you enjoy! the +18 section is marked off with its own warnings
dividers by @firefly-graphics
reader is a shy, nerdy, black femme college junior who lives in chicago
inspired by chicago by michael jackson
riri spots you first, maybe she’s visiting home and there you go looking fine as fuck and she just has to say something
y’all get to flirting and you’re really feeling her but you can’t help but wonder why she looks so familiar.. you scrap it off and get her number so y’all can keep it contact
flash forward maybe two weeks and the fucking Queen of Wakanda decides to do a tour of the new building she provided for your school and oh lord does she look great but there she is!
riri is right beside her, holding her hand laughing and joking and now you get it
the girl you met was the queen’s girlfriend!
immediately you try to text riri and tell her you’re not looking for that type of relationship, that you’re not gonna break them up and riri needs to get her shit together and leave you alone until she does so
you get left on read and can’t help but feel bad, maybe you were too harsh? whatever it doesn’t matter you’re not a home wrecker of any kind so you leave it alone
that night you’re in your dorm just listening to music and there’s a knock, because of course there is and it’s none over than
shuri oh shit
you’re immediately stammering, already apologizing “i swear to god i had no clue yall was together like for real i knew i knew her but like not like that but oh my god, if you’re mad at me or anything just like make it quick and please just feed my cat back at home” you try to get it all out before she laughs
she’s laughing that gorgeous, bubbly laugh. you’re pleading for your life and she’s laughing
“you think i’m going to kill you because you’re flirting with my girlfriend? really?”
holy shit her accent is crazy sexy because of course it is up close but you try to stay grounded in your thoughts “umm yes?”
she smiles slyly at you “you’re very beautiful i can understand why she was”
your eyes widen and now you’re really confused because what the fuck? now shes flirting with you? after finding out you might’ve been the cause of any tension at home?
“uh i umm thank you i appreciate it uhh” “it’s okay, love, riri didn’t do anything wrong nor is anyone upset with you, alright?”
the confusion is apparent on your face, “so uhh what… what now?” you ask because you really don’t fucking know
shuri smiles again , “well her invite still stands if you wish to date her, of course,” WHAT?? “but you don’t have to, obviously. however if you’re interested in me i’m open as well,”
Literally what the fuck is happening right now
“but — but you guys are—“
“together? yes we are. and we both like you, y/n”
maybe you’ve fainted and gone to heaven, maybe you passed out and this is your final dream
the queen stands in your speechlessness “hey it’s alright if you’re not interested—“
you yell to cut her of “No!! No i’m very interested! i just — i jst wasn’t expecting it is all! i mean you both .. liking me oh my god” it’s really embarrassing how much heat you can feel is on your face
shuri raises any eyebrow, “what’s not to like? i feel offended, you judging my taste?” she smirks at you and you’re giggling
“no, no my queen i would never, i’m sorry” she smiles gently, “yeah, good. so, what do you say?”
it’s literally no other answer; “yes, i’d love to go out with you both”
it’s uphill from there; shuri takes you back to the fanciest hotel you’ve literally ever been in because when the fuck chicago get fancy hotels? and riri is waiting for you both at the door
“damn finally, i was starting to think you were fucking her with me, shit” she jokes and shuri laughs but you feel heat rise to your face and your lower end but you brush it off
“i told you i’d be back, we just talked, right, y/n?”
god your name sounds heavenly on her tongue, “yeah we just talked. and im sorry riri for just assuming you was gonna cheat on the queen of wakanda or anything, i was just..”
“confused, yeah i get it, no worries.” she looks you up and down, “so, you walking in here like you said yes so i can only assume..?”
you giggle and nod your head “yes yes i said yes,” and she fists bump and looks and shuri and smiles who says “now let’s talk”
y’all talk for about three hours that (thank god you ain’t got class tomorrow) and you ask a bunch of questions, most they were expecting
“so you literally told her about me the second you got home? damn i know i’m fine but that’s actually crazy” “okay yeah yeah, no need to get all big headed i was just excited and i knew shuri would like you too, next question!” and shuri mostly laughs
you plan your first date with both of them and then your first date with each of them separately while theyre still in chicago
the group date takes place at a fancy ass restaurant you have literally never heard of, and shuri buys your outfit while riri pays for dinner
(you quickly realize that they’re the spoiling type)
it was a lovely evening that ended in cheek kisses for and from the both of them
riri’s date comes first, as she did ask you out first initially and her home town is chicago so she wants to show you some stuff you didn’t even know about
y’all go to her favorite hideout burger joint that’s placed between two walls and a bank and she introduces you to the most unhealthy burger you’ve ever eaten in your entire life. you tell her about your move to chicago and how much you want to travel but still have grounds at home. you tell her about your classes and your major and she listens to you so intensely that you try to shy up at some parts.
you split a milkshake and then walk around her favorite mall talking and kissing softly as you get to know her after the date she suggests you guys “smoke off the rest of the day” and pulls a joint from god knows where
y’all go back to the hotel to get high while shuri is still out doing tours and walkabouts
you’ve smoked maybe once or twice for real for real so most of the night is you choking and riri laughing at you and handing water and then choking herself but all in all the two of you are giggling and talking
shuri comes back later that night and sighs before making you both go to bed and stop smoking. riri kisses your “huge ass forehead” (her words) goodnight and you sleep there in your date outfit.
shuri’s date happens three days later, two days before they have to leave. she takes you to an art museum one so huge that you’re sure most of was just fake paintings they made to fill in the space
y’all work around talk about your career goals and your life up until this point and a little of what you told riri the previous date. much like riri shuri is staring into you and listening like your preaching gospel and you get shy again before she encourages you some more
you eat at a seafood place that shuri booked all out just for you and the date so you guys could have some privacy “i don’t like people in my business” she states when you see the empty restaurant “the world nearly crumbled to pieces when it was revealed riri and i were together, and i can not doubt they would harass you as well.”
she’s too thoughtful you think and it makes you blush, “yeah that makes sense”
you talk some more before the night is over and she escorts you back to the hotel.
even though you know you’re rushing, the wine in your veins makes you bold and once youre back with both of them at the hotel, you blurt out “so how are we supposed to have sex?”
and it’s so embarrassing because you did not mean for that to sound the way it did, riri is laughing her ass off and shuri is staring at you incredulously
and you start rambling again “no wait , oh my god why did i say that? um i meant like, fuck, you know like y’all been together so y’all know each other but like me i don’t really get out out yknow? like i had like one girl i was messing with for real but she was just as inexperienced as i was so..”
riri is still dying on the floor and shuri chuckles before calming you down with her hands on your arms, rubbing up and down “calm down, alright? we can talk about that, right now if you want, but don’t stress out, understood?”
ahh she likes to be dominant. okay that’s cool “yeah yeah, i get it, totally” you mumble out
riri sighs wiping the tears from her eyes as she gets up from the floor, hoodie wrinkled and shorts barely visible, “oh my god that was funny as fuck holy shit,”
“before we talk about anything let’s get undressed, hmm?” you look at shuri with wide eyes and riri laughs again and shuri sighs. “no y/n we’re not doing anything tonight, stay with me”
right right yeah okay “shit right okay”
once you’re in your pajamas (one of shuris hoodies and some loose pants) y’all sit in a circle and riri cuts on some music just to ease some tension
(+18 section below!!!)
praise kink, bullying kink, talk of dom/sub relationships, use of pet names, dom!shuri, switch!riri, switch!reader, talk of sex, no actual sex (i’ll write some soon!)
riri starts, just as bold as she was when she came up to you that fateful day, “so what do you like? or do you want us to go first?”
you shy up again, “umm no you guys can go first”
and she smirks “well i’m a switch just to get it out of the way. i don’t mind bottoming i just don’t do it often, i really only did for shuri for real”
oh shit just right into it, huh?
“and i don’t bottom at all” shuri pipes in, staring directly into your eyes, “i suppose that’s dominant, right? but i’m not opposed to certain touches”
fuck fuck fuck , you sit cross cross to hide your arousal “um i guess i’m a switch, but i like bottoming more i think”
“yeah you look like it” riri says looking at her purse and you blush, did you really? before you respond riri gets up and sparks another blunt (because of course she does) and continues, “that’s really another reason i came up to you because you look like you listen well, and like it’s really obvious you got something going on with being told what to do, right?”
“i— i mean i guess,” shuri chimes in again “don’t you?”
her eye contact is dangerous and something makes you feel like you have to answer her “yes. yes i do.
they both smirk, “got it,” riri says confidently
oh fuck you just completely outed yourself huh?
“what ..” you clear your throat “what else do you guys like?”
“obedience” shuri says while riri says “brat”
you look between them, “okay which means..?”
shuri starts, her accent cutting the air like butter, “i need you to listen to me, that’s really it. whatever i say goes according to your limits and of course we’ll have a safe word but i don’t fuck around with what’s mine,”
jesus fucking christ . you look at riri who starts “i like brats. bold as fuck i like knocking you down a peg. that’s why im a switch because if you can tell me what to do i’ll listen, but if not then, well” she shrugs and smokes a bit
“and you, love?” shuri asks and you’re looking at her with wide eyes, “what do you want from us?”
you think for a bit and try to settle the pulsing you feel downstairs. “umm i like when i get told what to do, so like both of what you guys said. i like being ..” you sigh before you admit it “like umm lightly bullied? if that makes sense and i like when i’m on top, like physically.”
you add in “and i like to listen. so i get praised. so like . a praise kink. yeah”
you end it there before you feel like your face will melt and it’s quiet until shuri laughs and says “i can work with that”
you perk up, “yeah?”
she smiles back “yeah. you riri?”
riri, now high as fuck, nods along “yeah i’m good, just horny as hell though” she says it so causally and you laugh at her boldness
“yes that was bound to happen, but it’s been a long day and we need to pack tomorrow. y/n are you spending the night?”
riri gets up to get water and you look and shuri and nod, “yeah, yeah i can stay”
she smiles back “good. bed then, yeah?” there she is again making demands
you blindly follow, “okay,”
(+18 plus section over!)
the next morning is full of being kissed and packing; they’re both very grateful for you opening up last night and you can tell they mean it when they say ‘thank you’ when you do anything
though their trip is coming to an end, they make plans to be back and see you in two weeks once your finals are over and you can visit wakanda for an extended time
you’re given your very own pair of kimiyo beads before they head off with the dora milaje right behind them
shuri lifts your chin and kisses you goodbye “goodbye love,” she says it in xhosa and you absolutely melt and say bye back
riri hugs you tightly and kisses all over your face until she stops on your mouth and nearly knocks you over “bye baby, we’ll be back okay?”
you’re giggling still a little dizzy “hehe bye riri,”
you wave to them both before the ship doors close and it begins to hover slightly
while waving your kimoyo beads go off and it’s a text from riri “please back up girl this shit is about to take off fr ;)” and your eyes widen and you back away as far as possible, still waving
once the ship is out of your eyesight you sigh and ask the griot in your beads to set an alarm for 15 days and 3 hours
Anndddd finished i hope you guys enjoyed and sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes!
send in any requests!
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1981
michael jackson x reader
“stop! the love you save may be your own, darling take it slow!” you and your younger sister jumped up and down singing in the audience.
“his voice is incredible” she said. you nodded and continued to dance.
you looked up at michael, you didn’t worship celebrities or anything like that. you truly were just so proud of how far he’s come, especially since as a kid you watched him in the jackson 5.
“i wonder if he has a girlfriend” your sister asked as you both walked back to the car, “i’m sure he does” you responded.
“i don’t know, i’d rather just be his best friend forever so we can never break up” your sister replied, which caused you to laugh.
as you turned the key ignition, the car started and then stopped.
your sister looked at you, “did the car just-”
“yep, don’t panic we just have to find someone to jumpstart it”
“i shouldn’t have taken my time in the bathroom, almost everyone left already and it’s dark”
you thought about how you were two young girls at night time with a car that won’t start, “okay get out i’ll think of something”
you both walked back to the door entrance, “you going anywhere ladies?” a man that looked like security said.
“we need to find someone to jumpstart our car, sorry for the trouble but we have to get home” as you said this you noticed some guys through the door window walking, the jacksons. they looked relaxed and comfortable.
“marlon stop” michael was laughing up a storm, “that was the funniest thing you’ve ever said”
he glanced through the door window, “oh there’s still people here”
“come on michael, before they see us”
“they already have” he walked towards the door and lightly waved, “it’s late, are you girls okay”
“hello mr jackson, our car has to be jump started. sorry for this”
he laughed, “mr jackson is my father. i’m michael”
you smiled at him
“i’m sure we can help you out” he signaled for you and your sister to follow him through the door.
“so where are you guys from. here?”
“yes”
“you should’ve had someone pick you up it’s not safe to be out late like this”
although he was speaking, it was in a very timid manner, “i don’t usually get to have conversations with my fans, if you couldn’t tell”
“well we don’t usually have conversations with you so it’s fine” your sister said to him.
while he found people to jumpstart your car, you all spoke about the show tonight and what went on backstage and his favorite song to perform. he asked you how it’s like living a life where you’re not famous and about university.
“i’m sure school for you is just life michael, don’t be too hard on yourself” you said placing a hand on his shoulder.
“yeah but i wish i could experience more casual things one day”
an idea popped into your head, “michael when’s your next show”
“it’s actually in a few days we have a little break”
“you should stay here, and we can try to let you live normally, even if it’s just a day”
his eyes widened, “really? what- what would we do?”
“everything normal, ever run errands?”
he laughed
_____________________
the next day you pulled infront of a hotel with your not-so-fancy car.
you giggled when you saw what michael was wearing. dark sunglasses and a very large hoodie.
“i get you have to be incognito but you look silly”
“it’s either this or a paper bag. where’s your sister?”
“ ummm she definitely wasn’t grounded and was definitely supposed to be out at a concert” you said
michael laughed “wow the things you girls do for me”
“i can’t believe you convinced your security not to come with”
he stayed silent
you suddenly realized, “they’re following us everywhere we go aren’t they”
_____________________
“we’re here!”
you pull up to a supermarket. there weren’t that many people there which was a blessing.
michael’s eyes widen.
“are you excited michael?”
“it’s beautiful”
you laughed
you, michael, and his security who was also dressed casually made your way into the supermarket. you handed michael a list.
“is this a”
“yup!”
a shopping list.
“I’m gonna let you find every single object!”
michael got extremely happy and started to walk through the aisles.
michael ran around finding milk, eggs, spinach, cookies and a bunch of other items.
he came across the flower section and found a bouquet of roses, “these will be for you”
“michael you don’t have to”
he waved you off
when you guys got to the register, he paid for everything even though you told him not to.
while you both loaded the groceries in the car you smiled, “michael we both know you’re just a normal guy, but don’t you really feel normal now”
“i feel over the moon, let’s try the gas station next!”
his security guards give him a look, “michael, you have to get ready for your next shows. plus your dad is starting to connect the dots on what’s happening”
michael had a sulky look on his face
“aww is our play date done michael”
he nodded his head and went to hug you, “thank you for this. i really had fun in the grocery store” his sunglasses fell off while hugging you and then you heard a faint sound of a snap.
you turn around and see a man in the bushes with a camera. “michael get in your car” you pick up his sunglasses “put them on”
“wait im gonna give you my number”
“michael next time, someone just saw you”
“but”
michaels security guards rush him into the car
“i’ll make sure they give you my contact” michael said before they closed the door. he sadly waved at you.
this made you realize what he went through on a daily, it was awful to know he was treated this way, he’s a person just like anyone else.
you stood there watching him drive off while the paparazzi followed his car to try to snag more pictures of him, then another paparazzi came to you with a camera asking if you’re michael’s secret lover. you shook your head no and got in your car. pictures were snapped of you as you drove off.
#michael jackson#michael jackson fanfic#michael jackson imagines#mj#the jacksons#jackson 5 era#michael jackson x reader
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Can’t Go On Without You By My Side
Summary: You visit your boyfriend of two years on his BAD world tour. The excitement of witnessing him perform live is quickly tainted the moment she walks in.
Pairing: Michael Jackson x Reader
Warnings: SMUT
Requested: yes! BAD tour smut was requested, however I added my own little twist to it. I hope that's okay. I live for drama…
*Y/N's POV*
Michael and I were finally able to plan for me to visit him on tour. I was lucky enough to get a week and a half off of work and we were determined to make the most of it. Michael had insisted on picking me up from the airport even though he was technically supposed to be at the venue. We arrived about ten minutes after the show was scheduled to begin, but thankfully, no one called us out on it.
I stood off to the side, watching Michael completely own the stage. The way he mastered his onstage persona was breathtaking. His smile was so bright. I took a moment to discreetly admire his outfit, clinging to his body tighter with each passing song.
“He’s sexy, isn’t he?” A breathy voice sounded from beside me, interrupting my silent gawking. I guess I wasn't being as discreet as I thought.
“Um—” I looked to my left, making eye contact with a very tall woman. She was beautiful. A tight black dress clung to her body so tight it almost looked painted on. I know exactly who this is.
“The correct answer is yes. He can do it all, if you know what I mean.” My hands clenched into fists with such force I could feel my rings digging into my skin. “He’s absolutely the sexiest man alive. I’m so exhausted, he kept me up all night this past week. That's not a complaint by the way. He is so worth it.”
I couldn’t put together enough words to form a complete sentence. Quite frankly, all my focus was on holding myself back. I couldn’t catch a case right now. Michael might be cheating on me and this woman is certainly a whore. That was that. I couldn’t change fact. If I went off and beat the living shit out of some groupie it would ruin the rest of my life. I couldn’t let the anger control my behavior. He betrayed me, but I refuse to let him see how much it really broke me.
“I’m so sorry, I get all misty watching him. Don’t we all?” She laughed, squeezing my shoulder, little did she know she was dangerously close to losing those boney little fingers. “My name is Tatiana, and you are?” She held out her hand, batting her eyelashes so hard I thought she’d fly away. At least I hoped she would. Maybe over a large body of water, perhaps shark infested waters.
“Hi, I’m Y/N.” She let out an exaggerated gasp, slapping her palm against her mouth.
“You’re the girlfriend! Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry.” She quickly ran off leaving me standing there alone with this feeling in my stomach that I couldn’t describe.
I glanced around the immediate area, seeing no one else near me felt worse somehow. I don't know many people here other than Michael. I became distracted as he sang Rock With You, little did he know he was moments away from getting rocked. Y/N, no, stop. I release the tension in my hands, shaking it off, trying to let go of the violent thoughts swirling in my mind. Besides how therapeutic it was right now, it wasn’t productive. I need some air, a drink, a hitman? No. Air, I need air.
The clicks of my heels echoed through the halls as I headed towards an unknown destination. I'm probably lost, but that a problem for future Y/N.
*Michael's POV*
As Rock With You came to an end, I noticed Y/N disappear behind the curtain. Exactly, two songs have gone by since then and still no sign of her. During the brief outfit change after Thriller, before intermission, I notice Greg, my music director mouthing something to me.
"What?" I mouthed back, scratching my forehead. He's terrible at this.
"Your girl." Okay, I got that. I nodded, shrugging slightly as if to say and what about her.
"Mad."
I couldn’t play charades any longer, as the lights dimmed and the band took over the stage I snuck behind the large equipment to get closer to him.
"What happened?"
"I saw Tatiana talking to her. She did not look too happy after that brother."
I nodded slowly, processing his words before walking off. I should be taking advantage of my break, but I couldn’t relax not knowing where my girlfriend was.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. What are you doing all the way back here?”
"Nothing I just needed some air." She said lowly, avoiding my eyes.
"Are you okay?" I moved towards her, cupping her face in my hands. The look in her eyes answering my question, but I wanted to hear it from her.
"Yeah, well, no, but it can wait until after the show."
"Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded in response. "Now, can you please come back with me? I perform better knowing my beautiful woman is watching me."
She accompanied me as I changed into my next outfit. She helped me slip into my coat, but my excitement was short lived, because I could sense her sadness. What is going on?
"I love you, baby." I watched closely as she struggled with her response, she began biting on her bottom lip, her eyes growing glossy. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Her voice cracked and she quickly turned away from me.
"I know you Y/N. You're hurting and I'd like to know what's going on so I can help."
"S—She—" Y/N broke down right, her body was shivering as she tried to compose herself. I felt less than helpless.
"Who?" I tried comforting her, but she brushed me off, moving away from me all together.
A quick knock on the door, signaling that intermission was coming to a close and I needed to get back out there.
"I'll let them know I need more time. I'll be right back."
"No!"
"You're crying. Y/N, baby, I'm not leaving you."
"I'm alright. Please, can we just talk about this later?"
I didn't want to agree, but she wasn't asking, she was practically begging. I intertwined our fingers, keeping her close as I weaved my way through the backstage area.
"Please, stand here and watch the rest of the show. It would mean the world to me." I smiled at her and kissed her temple as I hugged her.
"I'll be right here." She reaffirmed my confidence. Then, she grabbed my collar, pulling me into her lips. Her tongue was pure magic. Normally, I'd be embarrassed about public affection, but with the way I'm feeling, I'd love to feel every inch of her right here, right now. I didn't care who was watching.
She pulled away and I desperately chased her lips as she giggled at my neediness.
"You have to go."
"There is no way I'm leaving your side after that."
"You don't have a choice."
"I will be back. Very, very soon."
*Y/N's POV*
I watched the second half of Michael's concert the way I should've watched the first half. I enjoyed myself dancing and singing along to my man's voice. What Tatiana said hurt me, but I felt so foolish when I thought logically again. Michael isn't that type of person. I didn't need to talk to him about this, because once the anger and hurt wore off I was able to come to a conclusion on my own. She's lying. She has to be.
"You're still here?" This damn witch. "I'd be halfway home by now if I found out my boyfriend stepped out on me."
There was so much I wanted to say, but I chose to let her words go in one ear and out the other. The last thing I want to do is let her know she ever got to me.
"Well, that's my cue. Enjoy the show." She winked, walking pass me and flipping her hair.
I was forced to watch as Tatiana strutted across the stage with my boyfriend chasing after her. This was one of my favorite songs and now I couldn’t even enjoy it. I felt my blood begin to boil as she shamelessly flirted with him in front of the crowd of thousands.
She was getting closer and closer to him. She was doing this on purpose and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
Why is this song so long all of the sudden?
"What the hell is she doing?" I heard Frank DiLeo grumble from behind me. I jumped a bit at his tone, but tried to play it off.
"Everything okay?" I asked softy.
"Hey darling, yeah she was supposed— what the hell! Get her off the damn stage! Now!"
I turned my attention back to the stage and I wished more than anything I wouldn’t have done that. I tried to blink as if that would change the view, but it didn’t.
I was stuck in that horrible moment as the worst thing I could imagine was confirmed. I had a front row seat to my own humiliation and I had no idea how to escape.
Before I knew it, she was walking towards me. "So happy you could be here to see what a real power couple looks like." She stopped in front of me, crossing her arms. "Sorry honey, he's moved on to bigger and better things."
I felt my cheeks heat up as I became uncomfortably aware of how many eyes were on us.
"Tatiana, that's enough. Get away from her." Frank shouted, shooing her away like a toddler.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it."
We stood in silence as Man in the Mirror blasted through the speakers. It wasn't until Michael's long passionate goodbye to his fans, wrapping up the concert that Frank slung his arm around my shoulder.
"Darling, you know she's full of it right?"
"I'm not sure."
"Michael and I have to take care of some business. I won't keep him too long and I'll send him your way after."
I knew that was his way of telling me it was private business that I couldn’t be around for. I hugged him before heading off, I wasn't really sure where I was going, but walking felt better than sitting with my thoughts.
"Baby! I'm so sorry. Frank told me what happened after—"
“I need to get out of here before I do something I regret.” Michael reached out, taking a firm hold of my hand, he pulled me down a short hallway and into his dressing room.
“I’m sorry you had to see that.” He finally spoke, shutting the door behind him.
“You’re sorry I had to see it?”
“Yes.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Y/N—”
“Does that mean you do it often?”
“No, that’s not—”
“You go around kissing other people when I’m not around?”
“Y/N, I’ve never—”
“I know they’re everywhere, throwing themselves at you, but I never thought you let them get to you.”
“Stop!”
“What!”
“I’ve never cheated on you!” He shouted in a tone I had never heard before, the look of pain present in his eyes began.
“That’s not what people are saying.” I muttered, suddenly feeling guilty.
“People? What people?”
“Who do you think! She said you two—”
“That’s a lie! I only see her during performances. That’s it. Y/N, I would never do that to you.”
“How am I supposed to believe you after that? She kissed you and you let her.”
“No, no, no! I didn’t let her! I wasn’t even paying attention to her. When I’m on stage, I’m there to perform. Why would I spend weeks planning for your visit just to betray you?”
“She was so awful to me, the things she said, then, she went out there and—”
“Got herself fired.”
“Michael, I’m pissed, but I’ll get over it. I don’t want this to affect business. You don’t have to fire her.”
“I already did.”
“Michael—”
“I only want to work with people who respect me and my loved ones. She won’t be missed. I don’t care to have people around me that I can’t trust.”
“I’m sorry I yelled. I’m sorry I accused you of—” Michael shut me up, gripping my hips, pressing my body against his and kissing me sloppily. His hand claiming a possessive hold of the back of my neck, deepening his touch.
"I love you." he spoke into my mouth, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine. I felt myself tremble as his fingers explored my inner thigh, pushing up my skirt to give himself more access.
"I love you." I said, slipping my fingers around his belt buckle. He smiled knowingly, pushing me back, my ass collided with the counter and I felt myself crumble at his roughness. The cold countertop causing me to let out a moan. He pulled away for a moment, reaching behind me and clearing off the counter in one swift movement. "Such a gentleman." I purred in his ear as he picked me up.
"Only for you." A smirk on his face as the sound of nylon tearing filled my ears. "I love how sexy these look on you. I'll have to replace them." His long fingers slipping pass the freshly shredded fabric of my panties and teasing me one finger at a time. He watched as my head leaned back onto the mirrored wall, he chuckled as I struggled to find something to grab onto.
"Michael!" I was fighting to breath feeling him knuckle deep inside of me, hitting the right spot. "Fuck! Deeper!" I begged for more. Contrary to my needy cries, he pulled back, leaving me feeling empty as he unbuckled his belt, letting his pants fall to the ground. I took this opportunity to tear his shirt off, throwing it across the room.
Michael pushed my legs apart, admiring how much I yearned for him, he slowly pulled me towards him with a strong grip on my legs. My bare ass slide across the counter painfully slow until I finally felt his hard tip press against my entrance.
"Always so wet and ready for me." He slammed into me, giving me no time to adjust which threw me further over the edge.
"Harder!" I yelled as he pounded into me with such intensity I swear I could feel him rearranging my guts.
"Baby, I want to cum inside of you." His voice smooth, making me even more wet.
"Please!" The walls were shaking as we continued to devour one another.
"You're fucking perfect." He whispered against the bare skin of my chest, I felt him everywhere. My eyes rolled back as his dick massaged all the right places.
Suddenly, the door swung open violently, causing me to panic and try to cover my exposed chest, but Michael stopped me. He grabbed my wrists trapping them behind my back in on of his hands as he increased his speed again. My moans escaped my throat against my will as tears of pleasure rolled down my cheeks. At this point, my entire body was shaking, Michael's tongue rolling against mine elongating my high further.
"What the fuck are you doing!" A voice shouted, causing my head to snap in the direction of its origin. Tatiana.
"You feel so good wrapped around my dick." He declared as he sucked on my neck. It was impossible to concentrate on anything else but his lips. "I'll never get tired of fucking this perfect pussy." Michael didn’t stop. He spoke clearly and confidently as he fucked me with purpose.
"Get the fuck out of here!" Tatiana yelled.
"Y/N!" Michael whimpered, his seed spreading within me, causing my legs to tingle. He gazed deep into my eyes, beads of sweat trailing down his face. "I fucking love you." His hand gently curled around the side of my neck, pulling me back into his sweet mouth.
"What the fuck!" Another shout from the demon herself. I paid it no mind. Looking back at Michael, his long dick still twitching inside of me.
"I love you baby." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck, leaning into his neck to leave my mark. Tatiana stood there staring at us in shock, so naturally I challenged her stare. I waited to see if Michael would break focus, but he didn’t.
“We are busy in here. Close the door on your way out.” Michael said sternly between breaths, not even sparing her a glance.
The door slammed shut seconds later and it was only then that I took the time to look around the dimly lit room. Make-up and personal belongings littered the floor. Various unfamiliar items surrounded us, leading me to believe that I was made apart of one very well thought out, very devious plan and it turned me on.
"Michael?"
"Yes, my love?"
“This isn’t your dressing room, is it?”
“Nope.” He smiled triumphantly, planting tender kisses all over my face.
“You’re so sneaky.”
“You’re my girl. That’s never changing.”
“You quite literally marked your territory.” I giggled as he caressed my collarbone, watching as goosebumps formed.
“Oh, Y/N, baby, I’m just getting started. We’re gonna be here all night.”
“Let’s see what you got rockstar.”
“Baby, don’t make me carry you out on that stage and give those lovely people an encore they’ll never forget.”
“A girl can dream can’t she?”
I winked teasingly as I positioned myself onto my knees, looking up at the man I love, confident I was about to give him the best head of his life.
#michael jackson#michael joseph jackson#king of pop#michael jackson imagine#michael jackson x reader#michael jackson imagines#michael jackson fanfic
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[ 6:00 AM ]
tw- boyfriend haechan x fem! Reader, fluff, idk this is just a cute little scenarios. red hair Hyuck was the MOVE of the century.
“I’m going to commit arson.”
You loudly exclaim with your arms crossed, sending a deadly glares over at your red headed boyfriend. He chuckles at your deep dramatic-ness.
“You’re overreacting babe.” He tells you as he lifts himself up on the same shared bed. “No I’m not, I can’t let you go to japan!” You wrap your arms around his waist pulling his comforting presence, tightly squishing haechan as if he was a pillow.
“It’s just for the concert with the 127 hyungs.”
Haechan softly grunts but he knows not to dare to push you away from your clingy affectionate embrace, he just lets it happen. The boy looks over at his shoulders where you buried your entire face in so he couldn’t see you.
He didn’t think much of it until he heard soft sniffles leaving your scattering lips, the cold sensation on his loose Michael Jackson shirt begins to form a wet patch. “Yah…are you crying?” He slowly croaks out. You shake your head, scoffing. “Pft me cry? No…” haechan couldn’t help but think, Liar.
You soon were pulled away from the embrace and laid down on the bed with haechan hovering above you. Hands cradling your face with sad tears oozing out your eyes, his thumb rubbing your round red cheeks as he leans down whispering. “Y/n y/n y/n, what am i going to do with you baby.” he softly sang watching you as if you were the most important precious thing to him.
you crying touched his heart but as much as it was heart warming to have an overprotective strong, dramatic and caring girlfriend— he really doesn’t like to see you cry; at least not with sadness. That’s another time for another story.
He plants soft kisses on your forehead which subtly calms you down with your chest going back to a mellow breathing. he shines you a soft smile, “how about i bring you a souvenir from japan when i come back?”
Your lips curl into a pout as you look away, murmuring. “that’s called a bribery, hyuck.”
he widely grins. “You bet it is. But! Aside the question, what do you want as a present.” you turn to him with an eyebrow raise. “I want…”
“You’re gonna laugh at me actually nevermind—“ you felt him raise his eyebrow whining at your words. “I wonttttt when have i ever laughed at you!” he said. y/n slightly sits up side eyeing haechan suspiciously. “Yah you literally tease me ever since you found my Wattpad fanfics I wrote when I was in ninth grade.”
haechan’s face Squeamishly turns upside down as he tried to held in his laugh, but failed ultimately as y/n hears loud laughter. “You were in your kinky writer era.” Both of you stare at each other for a long pause of silence until one of you guys broke into smiles followed by shared laughter . “I really was I won’t lie.” You flash him a tiny grin.
he lays down on the bed next to you as you curl on the side watching him as he was doing the same, staring into your eyes lovingly. “i want Harry style’s new album…” you whisper to your boyfriend.
“now why would i laugh at that.” he brings up caressing your face. “Is it because of the fact that you wrote fanfics about Harry styles—“
“Yah you really don’t need to remind me of that!” you roll on top of haechan with a flush of colours on your cheek, truly it was embarrassing for you anyways. “I’ll try my best m’am.” He softly reassures as his hands lazily sneak on your waist and his face slowly found a way to rest on your chest, relaxing with murmurs leaving those heart shape beautiful red lips. “I’ll definitely come back with Harry style album for you.”
you smile, brushing fingers through his vibrant bright red hair, he always loved the way your soft long slender fingers wrap round his locks. he hums. “you need to call me when you arrive there…call me before bed too.. call me at lunch as well.”
you were listing any moment of the day so he can call, text or update you just anything. As much as you want him near you in your life every second of the day you know that you cannot stop his career and you wouldn’t want that either. You love haechan’s career and you love him.
You know how much haechan worked his way into this music industry and he was born for it.
“Don’t worry babe, I won’t leave you alone that’s for sure.” Haechan speaks lifting his head up, his chin resting on your cleavage. “You got me here with you all the time.”
“I love you.”
He whispers. you smile at his words before feeling his lips fall on yours, a passionate kiss reuniting you both until tomorrow morning where he ultimately has to get the plane. nevertheless, you will remember this kiss and wait until he finishes the concert.
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you <3 follow me for more and reblog this fic it helps a girl out
#nct fanfiction#nct smut#nct x reader#nct u scenarios#nct hard hours#haechan hard hours#haechan nct dream#lee haechan#haechan fanfic#haechan scenarios#haechan smut#nct 127 smut#nct dream scenarios#nct fic#nct recs
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posting because I had not heard of this before - grimes released a mixtape of songs (not by her) that she was inspired by back in 2012, with Know Phase.
List of songs (according to Discogs, and me, who listened to it and found that Discogs was missing a couple tracks)
Claire Hamill - Awaken:larkrise
Claire Hamill - Tides
Cocteau Twins - An Elan
Mariah Carey - Fantasy
Madonna - Don't You Know
Cruisin' Gang - Foreign Affair
Saint Entienne - Everything Flows
Burial – Untitled
Balam Acab – Expect
Blood Diamonds – Grins
Blawan – Getting Me Down
Michael Jackson – Who Is It?
Doldrums – Thinking Of This
SBTRKT Ft. Little Dragon – Wildfire
TLC – If I Was Your Girlfriend
Jade – Don't Walk Away
Enigma – Callas Went Away
王菲*– Untitled
Claire Hamill – Beauty Of England
Aphex Twin – Flim
#SoundCloud#grimes#claire boucher#know phase mixtape#2012#2012 era grimes rly likes choral new age music rnb and idm
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can we please have some more blk reader x robin headcanons
Robin Buckley x Black Female Reader Headcannons
You have MANY things you have to tell her
"Robin it's called R&B. No, Janet Jackson is related to Michael Jackson. Those are called sisterlocks not dreadlocks"
If you're patient and kind she will eventually understand
If you speak AAVE you better believe no one can disrespect you with her around
The way her girlfriend speaks is beautiful and cultural not broken
She come very close to yell fights over it
She loves your music, as long as you like it she likes it
That comes to movies too. She loves that her girlfriend introduced her too so many new things
Like I said before Robin is the perfect person to vent too
She'll sit with you for hours and hear your angry at your mistreatment
Doesn't matter when, where or at what time
Scared to meet your family
If your family is supportive she'll just be scared of what they will think of her
If they are not she will probably never meet them
"Their lose they'll never meet my amazing girl"
Wait, your skin doesn't burn? HOW?
Like I said, many things to explain
You kept sunblock on you at all times because of her
She could burn from a flashlight
All your little differences bond you closer. Your both in for the long run and happy that way
#stranger things#stranger things x reader#robin buckley x female reader#robin buckley fluff#robin buckley x reader#robin buckley x black!reader
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Sex killers are portrayed on MTV as male heroes: The Rolling Stones’ “Midnight Rambler” is a paean to the Boston Strangler (“I’ll stick my knife right down your throat”); Thin Lizzy sings “Killer in the House” about a rapist (“I’m looking for somebody … I might be looking for you”); Trevor Rubin sings “The Ripper.” Motley Crue’s videos have women as sexual slaves in cages. In Rick James’s video he rapes his girlfriend. In Michael Jackson’s “The Way You Make Me Feel,” a gang stalks a lone woman. Duran Duran shows female figures in chains, and their “Girls on Film,” observes Susan G. Cole, “look as if they’ve just stepped out of an X-rated film.” In Alice Cooper’s show, reports The Guardian, “a life-sized, woman-shaped doll lies on the floor in front of him, handcuffed, wearing ripped fishnets and a leotard. She appears to have been choked to death by a plastic hose.” “I used to love her,” sings Guns ‘n’ Roses, “but I had to kill her.” Criticism of rock’s extremism exposes one to the charge of being reactionary. But by resorting to these images, it is rock music that is being reactionary. Images of strangled women, women in cages, do not push any limits; they are a mainstream cliché of a mainstream social order. Rock music fails to live up to its subversive tradition when it eroticizes the same old establishment sadomasochism rather than playing with gender roles to make us look at them afresh.
— Naomi Wolf (1990) The Beauty Myth
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Please talk about Macaulay and Paris's relationship
this made my night better because this is my favorite topic
the important thing to note prior to getting into anything, is that mack's paternal instincts have always been a major part of who he is. natasha lyonne called him "the patriarch to his beautiful siblings" (fuck you kit) just last week. the major reason that mack took back his finances was so he could give his mother the money to keep her apartment and help raise the kids. when the apartment burned down (eye roll), mack and his then wife took in the kids. obviously the major reason mack has been even more reclusive than normal in recent years is bc of the birth of his children. it has always been his dream to be a good father and have a happy family.
mack's relationship with mj is obviously a crucial part of the backstory. he has described their friendship of not being necessarily a father/son one, but one of two equals. what is incredibly important about that distinction is that for mack, having a father only meant manipulation and abuse. mj treating him like an equal and giving him a safe space to be a child was a major refuge for mack, especially when he was being treated and being told he was nothing but a cash cow. obviously, as mack has said, mj resonated with mack's super stardom and controlling father. it was largely the reason their friendship began, and while we don't know a ton of details about their relationship after like 1992, it is evident how important it remained to mj until the end and how important it remains to mack today.
mack was made prince and paris's godfather when he was 17-18, while an elderly liz taylor was made the godmother. of all the people in mj's life, siblings, family, friends, etc, mack was entrusted with this honor, which says SO much about mj's view of him and trust in him (we don't know much about his relationship with prince, as prince largely strays away from the spotlight). in his auto biographical parody book (that's rly not a parody and is just a comedic retelling), prince and paris are mentioned in the dedications (on the list of people he hates, joe jackson is listed which always makes me smile) and he tells a story about hanging out at toy stores late at night w a pop star and his children. there's video footage of mack at one of their birthday parties and obviously the famous photo of the three of them watching michael on stage.
we know that after the '05 running into each other in the bathroom during the trial, mack and mj didn't see each other again, but remained in touch with the occasional phone call. mack has praised mj for his dedication to his children during that time, and attended his funeral in '09.
obviously, mack is known for being reclusive and once she got her modeling contract, paris became a very public and open figure. over those years, we got glimpses into their relationship. they have matching tattoos (mack's only tattoo) of spoons, which is an inside joke that they have. paris has spent holidays with mack, particularly one thanksgiving spent in paris with him and brenda. one of the most notable moments was paris introducing her then-girlfriend cara to mack and brenda.
when asked about paris in his interview with marc maron, mack stated: "i am close with paris. i'm going to warn you now, i'm very protective of her, so just look out. i am a very open book when it comes to things, but with her, she is beloved by me."
while paris often posts about mack, mack never does the same about paris. even when speaking ab mj, he doesn't mention paris sans this one time. i believe the reason for this is because mack knew how mj tried to shield his children from the vulturous media, and wants to respect that. i also think a major component to why mack is the perfect godparent for paris is that mj did everything he could to protect mack, and mack wants to extend the same to paris.
paris is constantly critized for not talking about her father enough, and she should be allowed to keep their relationship private if she so chooses. something that is so important to remember is that mj passed when paris was a very little girl. perhaps this is why she finds solace in mack - he got to grow up with mj, while she was never given that luxury.
seeing her attend his walk of fame ceremony was incredibly emotional and touching. i was surprised that she came bc mack is so intensely private about their relationship, but their love and support for each other (always attending events for the other privately is a mainstay for them) is so evident and i know it meant so much to him to have her there.
as paris put it at the ceremony, it's more than a friendship, it's family.
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#michael jackson#the king of pop#michael jackson rare#christinamaloueengelhardt#michael joseph jackson#michael jackson's girlfriend#true facts#beautiful pictures#Michael Jackson's love#thekingofpop#Superstar#celebrities
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The 50 most evil songs ever
These 50 tracks – featuring the likes of Rammstein, Slipknot, Mayhem, Slayer and AC/DC – are pretty damn nasty.
November 24, 2020Words:Paul Brannigan, James Hickie, Sam Law, Nick Ruskell, Dan Slessor, Paul Travers, Ian Winwood, Simon YoungOriginally published:In an April 2017 issue of Kerrang! magazine
From serial killers to Satan, we pulled out the ouija board and summoned the 50 most evil songs of all time. Spoiler alert: this gets incrediblygrim…
Mötley CrüeShout At The Devil
The title-track from Crüe’s breakthrough second album caused the kind of controversy that would define the World’s Most Notorious Rock Band. Penned by bassist Nikki Sixx, its lyrical preoccupation with the horned one, coupled with the LA bad boys’ burgeoning mainstream success, meant Christian groups were up in arms. Despite their protestations, the most evil thing about this song was the misguided re-reworking on 1997’s sinfully bad Generation Swine album.
WatainDevil’s Blood
Nothing less than an open hymn to the Devil himself and doing his dirtiest deeds, Devil’s Blood boils with the fanatical delight of those caught in religious fervour. The sheer force of nature of the music is staggering, but it is nothing next to Erik Danielsson’s rabid, demonic vocals as he revels in Luciferian power and living, ‘In the glorious light of the five point star.’ Truly diabolic.
PossessedThe Exorcist
When The Exorcist hit cinemas in the early ’70s, reports of audience members vomiting and losing consciousness circulated. So it’s only right that a song of the same name evokes teeth-chattering terror in those exposed to it. Written from the point of view of the possessed individual, and welded to breakneck thrashing, it was a formative track in the soon-to-be-born death metal genre. Unfortunately, things don’t end so well for the song’s protagonist.
Sonic Youth (featuring Lydia Lunch)Death Valley ’69
The 1980s were the age of the music video, a time of glossy movie-budget promo blockbusters from the likes of Michael Jackson and Prince. Not so for Sonic Youth. As a standalone song, Death Valley ’69 is intriguingly ambiguous, a thing of darkness in which the narrator may or may not have murdered his girlfriend. In the accompanying video clip, never to be played on primetime MTV, the song’s inherent violence is given full expression in a series of explicit images of lifeless bodies covered in gore. A thrillingly subversive dose of yuk.
GhostRitual
If the Devil were real would he be banging his horned head to the brutal death metal of Deicide or sipping a cocktail and twirling an exquisite mustachio to the altogether slicker sounds of Ghost? On first listen this is just one beautiful wash of melodies, but that only makes the lyrics underneath all the more disturbing. ‘This chapel of ritual smells of dead human sacrifices,’ croons Papa Emeritus. The stench of decay has never been sweeter.
The BeatlesHelter Skelter
In August 1969, homicidal cult-leader Charles Manson (you’ll hear that name plenty down this list…) told his followers, known as ‘The Family’, “Now is the time for Helter Skelter,” an assertion that heralded the most infamous mass murders – the Tate-LaBianca murders – in American history. He had become obsessed with The Beatles’ White Album, and with Helter Skelter in particular, the lyrics of which he misinterpreted in bonkers and ultimately homicidal ways.
Aphrodite’s ChildThe Four Horsemen
Greek proggers Aphrodite’s Child – featuring crooner Demis Roussos and Blade Runner soundtrack genius Vangelis – had big ideas for their 666 album: the apocalypse itself. This account of The Four Horsemen’s arrival is amazing, but it could have been improved if surrealist artist Salvador Dalí had gotten his way with the album’s release. He wanted to declare martial law in Barcelona, where swans stuffed with dynamite would be unleashed, before elephants and “Archbishops carrying umbrellas” bombarded the city’s cathedral from the air. Oddly, this didn’t come to pass.
Electric WizardWe Hate You
Electric Wizard’s Dopethrone album bears the striking slogan ‘Legalise drugs and murder’. The Dorset doom misanthropes may have been grouped with the groovy vibes of the stoner rock scene, but lines like ‘So I’ll take my father’s gun and I’ll walk down to the street / I’ll have my vengeance now with everyone I meet’ were a long way away from songs about shagging and cars. It’s a truly nasty sentiment, but as an indiscriminate spray of bile against everyone, this is untouchable.
The Devil’s BloodThe Anti-Kosmik Magick
(The Time Of No Time Evermore, 2009)
“They warned me Satan would be attractive,” quoth Ned Flanders upon being offered legal marijuana. Indeed, at first listen, Dutch diabolists The Devil’s Blood sound like the coolest ’70s-revival band you’ve ever heard. But, covered in blood, treating gigs as rituals and with heavy occult lyrics, The Anti-Kosmik Magick finds them tricking you into loving Lucifer without realising it. Seductive, rather than aggressive, this is temptation and sin presented in all its decadent glory.
AC/DCNight Prowler
On the evening of March 17, 1985, 25-year-old Texan drifter Richard Ramirez broke into the California homes of Tsai-Lian Yu and Dayle Okazaki and murdered both women. Dayle’s roommate Maria Hernandez was also shot in the face by Ramirez, but survived, and provided police with a pen portrait of a young man wearing an AC/DC baseball cap. It would be a further five months, however, before Ramirez, dubbed the ‘Night Stalker’, was apprehended, bringing to an end a 14-month reign of terror in the Golden State during which a total of 13 people were murdered and 11 more sexually assaulted in their own homes.
Ramirez’s childhood friend Ray Garcia subsequently told the authorities that the killer was obsessed by AC/DC, and specifically the creepy, chilling, voyeuristic closing track on the band’s 1979 Highway To Hell album, Night Prowler, leading to sensationalist media headlines such as “‘AC/DC Music Made Me Kill At 16’, Night Stalker Admits.” The Australian band were understandably horrified at the implication, with vocalist Brian Johnson (who joined the band after the song’s recording) telling VH1 television, “It sickens you to have anything to do with that kind of thing.” In the same Behind The Music special, AC/DC guitarist Malcolm Young claimed that Night Prowler is actually about “things you used to do when you are a kid, like sneaking into a girlfriend’s bedroom when her parents were asleep”, but lyrics such as ‘No-one’s gonna warn you / And no-one’s gonna yell attack / And you don’t feel the steel / Till it’s hangin’ out your back’ rather undermined the idea that this was merely a paean to adolescent horniness.
In court, Ramirez played up to his monstrous image, greeting the courtroom with the words “Hail Satan” and telling the judge, “I am beyond good and evil. I will be avenged. Lucifer dwells in us all.” After a four-year trial, Ramirez received 19 death sentences for his crimes, a punishment he shrugged off with the words, “Big deal… I’ll see you in Disneyland.” AC/DC naturally distanced themselves completely from the serial killer, but shaking off the association with what is undoubtedly their darkest, nastiest song would prove impossible.
HellhammerTriumph Of Death
Hellhammer mainman Tom G. Warrior has described his childhood in nightmarish terms. Living in a rural Swiss village with an unfit mother who was frequently absent smuggling jewellery, he started playing music to get away from it all. But imagine if this near-10 minute dirge of funereal guitar was what you did to escape. Every negative human emotion is vomited up in Tom’s strangled vocals, and when a couple of years later Tom asked the lyrical question of ‘Are you morbid?’, his answer was already a horrifying ‘yes’.
DissectionNight’s Blood
When thinking of ‘evil’ the words ‘Satan’ and ‘murder’ come quickly to mind. Put those two together and you stumble into territory Dissection inhabited in the mid-’90s, with band leader Jon Nödtveidt and an accomplice jailed for murdering a man who had allegedly expressed an interest in Satanism. Night’s Blood was given its unholy birth two years prior to that incident, and it’s hard not to feel unsettled by the gleeful bloodlust haunting it.
BehemothChristians To The Lions
Having released seminal albums titled Satanica and The Satanist, you can be fairly sure that everything Behemoth do is pretty damn evil, and mainman Nergal’s abuse of the Bible has landed him in Polish courts on more than one occasion. That being the case, it’s unlikely that this ditty went down overly well with churchgoers. Backed up with the band’s inimitable blackened death savagery, Nergal makes it clear which side of the God/Satan divide he falls on, viciously celebrating the death of the former and rise of the latter.
DarkthroneIn The Shadow Of The Horns
A Blaze In The Northern Sky marked a dark watershed for the black metal genre. Eerily pre-emptive of the spree of church-burnings that would go on to hallmark the genre it might’ve been. But Darkthrone’s second LP was, in actuality, fixated on the primal evils of the past. Its howling second track would prove definitive. Seven minutes of defiant lo-fi production, frostbitten purpose and blunt-force simplicity, In The Shadow Of The Horns still sounds like “abyssic hate” incarnate.
Cradle Of FilthDeath Magick For Adepts
Always ones for adding theatrics to their music, here Dani Filth paints a picture of a Sodom and Gomorrah scenario with no small amount of skill. But how to really bring out the hellish chaos erupting all around? You get one of Hell’s stewards to lend their terrifying voice to the track. That is to say, Hellraiser actor Doug Bradley, whose performance makes you worried to look out your window, lest you see Hell emptying itself onto the lawn.
Guns N’ RosesLook At Your Game, Girl
(The Spaghetti Incident?, 1993)
There aren’t many songs that have been released in order to help pay for the legal defence costs of its author who is facing a multiple murder rap. Originally written in 1967 and released on the album Lie: The Love And Terror Cult, Look At Your Game, Girl is the work of Charles Manson. Twenty-three years after its original 1970 release, the always provocative Guns N’ Roses placed the song as a hidden track on their covers album The Spaghetti Incident?. “People are trying to paint me like I worship Charles Manson,” said Axl Rose in 1994, “but it’s exactly the opposite of that.”
AkercockeOf Menstrual Blood And Semen
‘Blast For Satan’ ran the slogan on Akercocke’s shirts. It was a statement that summed up the intensity of both their music and their allegiance to Him downstairs. With their Savile Row suits and mysterious manner, they gave the air of men who actually dabbled in the black arts, something reinforced by their instruction to ‘drink of the chalice of ecstasy’ here. This furious concoction is as intense as metal gets, while also revelling in the decadence of the band’s beliefs.
BathoryCall From The Grave
Across their first trilogy of albums, Sweden’s Bathory redefined just how evil metal could sound. Crudely welding the darkness of Black Sabbath to the roar of Motörhead, the sound mainman Quorthon came up with could freeze blood, and nowhere more so than on Call From The Grave. With all the atmosphere of a freshly-dug burial site at midnight, the diabolic, two-chord riff and Quorthon’s demented vocals make this a haunting paean to all things evil and hellish.
DeicideOnce Upon The Cross
As you would expect from a man who once branded an inverted cross into his forehead, Deicide’s Glen Benton has no problem with blasphemy. Here, he mocks Jesus Christ’s struggle as he dies on the cross, which tied in really well with album Once Upon The Cross’ original artwork, which features Jesus with his insides on the outside. Oddly, this was considered too salty for the public.
Jimmy PageLucifer Rising
So obsessed was Jimmy Page with occultist and ‘Wickedest Man In The World’ Aleister Crowley that he bought the Scottish residence, Boleskine House, where the magician had attempted (and failed) to perform a six-month long magic ritual. The Zeppelin guitarist was therefore the perfect choice to soundtrack Lucifer Rising, a Crowley-inspired film by occult director Kenneth Anger. When after years, Jimmy’s contribution was still incomplete, he was acrimoniously removed from the project. Regardless, this bizarre music remains the most unsettling the man has ever created.
Big BlackJordan, Minnesota
Tiny Midwestern town Jordan, Minnesota entered the national consciousness in the U.S. in the mid-’80s when a number of school children claimed to have been ritually abused and to have witnessed multiple murders perpetrated by more than 20 townsfolk. The hysterical media coverage prompted Big Black’s Steve Albini to write this disturbing, pitch-black indictment of small-town corruption and perversion, complete with heavy breathing and lyrics such as, ‘This is Jordan, we do what we like.’ Ultimately, the accusations were dismissed as pure fabrication, but the song remains a horrifying and sickening dissection of humanity’s darkest impulses.
Robert JohnsonCross Road Blues
Legend has it that Cross Road Blues is about a highway intersection in the city of Rosedale, where Robert Johnson sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for his musical talent. While this classic song’s lyrics make no mention of this shady Faustian pact, the song – most likely about making the choice between good and evil – fuelled the myth of the Delta blues legend, who made references to the Devil during many of his songs. Plot twist: Robert died under mysterious circumstances aged just 27 years old.
Alkaline TrioThis Could Be Love
While many other popular punk bands of the time were singing songs about farting and penises, the always cut-above Alkaline Trio cast their gaze on darker matters. This Could Be Love is a tale of murder, the twist in which lies in the fact that it is told from the victim’s point of view. It’s grizzly stuff, too, with soiled beds, scenes of torture, delirious joy at acts of violence and the arresting image of a crazed lover washing blood from her hands in the waters of Lake Michigan. As audio-nasties go, this is a superior offering.
CarcassCadaveric Incubator Of Endoparasites
Dying sucks, but Carcass have done a bang-up job of making you hope to be vaporised at your moment of death by luridly detailing the process of decomposition. It’s hard to compute just how unsettling the Liverpudlian’s lyrics were, and it’s safe to presume that someone with delicate sensibilities raised on a diet of Madonna could well be revisited by the contents of their stomach after exposure to this belch of aural horror.
Nine Inch NailsPiggy
Despite appearing on The Downward Spiral, an album chronicling the destruction of man, Piggy isn’t necessarily evil in and of itself. It’s the context in which the song was created that makes it truly unsettling.
In 1992, Trent Reznor scrapped his original plan to record the follow-up to Nine Inch Nails’ debut Pretty Hate Machine in New Orleans, decamping instead to 10050 Cielo Drive in Los Angeles’ Benedict Canyon. It was here in 1969 that actress Sharon Tate (the pregnant wife of director Roman Polanski) and four others were brutally murdered by the Charles Manson ‘family’. Although Trent suggests he only discovered the address’ grisly history after he’d decided to record there – claiming it was chosen for the suitability of the space – he subsequently read up on the incident, suggesting ‘The Tate House’ “didn’t feel terrifying as much as sad.” Despite the sense of melancholy, Trent would use it to record 1992’s Broken EP, The Downward Spiral and Marilyn Manson’s debut album, Portrait Of An American Family, which Trent produced.
The song’s title has been the subject of speculation. Former live guitarist Richard Patrick, who would later form the band Filter, has suggested he was once given the nickname ‘Piggy’, while The Beatles’ song Piggies was said to have had considerable influence on Charles Manson. Despite Trent redubbing the address ‘Le Pig’, a reference to the word that was written in blood on the front door by the murderers – and The Downward Spiral also featuring a song called March Of The Pigs – Trent denies either was directly related to what had taken place at the site of their makeshift studio.
In a sobering postscript, Trent ended up meeting Sharon Tate’s sister. She asked him about whether he thought he was exploiting her sister’s death – an encounter Trent admits caused him to breakdown, having suddenly seen things from her perspective.
Cannibal CorpseFrantic Disembowelment
No-one pens gleeful murder and mayhem anti-anthems like Cannibal Corpse, and those taking the time to read the lyric sheet often wish they hadn’t eaten beforehand. Famously stirring up controversy with both their lyrics and artwork in the late-’80s and early-’90s, CC have never once modulated their approach to making horrifying music, and Frantic Disembowelment has to stand as the pinnacle of their nastiness. What’s it about? The title makes it pretty clear, and nowhere will you find a more graphic description of innards becoming ‘outtards’.
Jane’s AddictionTed, Just Admit It
The track opens with a quote from American serial killer Ted Bundy (a man who kept severed heads as trophies), recorded shortly before his 1989 execution and wrapped up in off-kilter jazzy beats. “There’s gonna be people turning up in canyons, there are gonna be people being shot in Salt Lake City. Because the police there aren’t willing to accept, what I think they know. And they know I didn’t do these things,” he claims. The rest of it is hardly easy listening with frontman Perry Farrellintoning ‘Sex is violent’ over and over again like a man possessed.
SlipknotIowa
How do you end one of the most bleak albums in history? By recording a 15-minute doom jam that hints at necrophilia. Corey Taylor – who describes the Iowa album as the “darkest fucking period” of his life – explores the mind of a man who finds himself alone with a corpse: ‘You are mine / You will always be mine / I can tear you apart / I can recombine you.’ And to really get into that fucked-up mindset, he sang naked and cut himself with broken glass. The screams you hear on the song are quite real.
BlasphemyRitual
There are many rumours about Canada’s Blasphemy, none greater than the ones concerning their activities in Alberta’s Ross Bay cemetery. A place with a long history of satanic goings on, legend has it that the band carried out satanic rituals, desecrations and headstone theft on the site (supposedly the stone was returned after guitarist Black Priest Of The 7 Satanic Blood Rituals suffered demonic attacks). It would certainly explain Ritual’s suffocating darkness.
AbruptumObscuritatem Advoco Amplecetere Me Part 1
Euronymous from Mayhem once described Sweden’s Abruptum as “the audial essence of pure black evil”. As 20-ish minutes of raw, evil noise rather than a song, Obscuritatem… is certainly dark. Especially considering that the screaming sounds you hear are apparently band members IT and Evil violently torturing one another. True or not, this is diabolic stuff.
Alice CooperI Love The Dead
In his time, Alice Cooper caused outrage with the theatrics of his live show and songs like this tender track about stiffs. ‘I love the dead before they rise / No farewells, no goodbyes / I never even knew your now-rotting face,’ he crooned, prompting calls for a UK tour to be banned. MP Leo Abse accused the singer of “peddling the culture of the concentration camp”, adding, “Pop is one thing, anthems of necrophilia are quite another.”
Mercyful FateMelissa
The character of Melissa was a witch who was burned at the stake. She appeared a number of times throughout Mercyful Fate’s career, but here, on the metallers’ debut, it was to inspire her lover to seek out satanic revenge. The initial inspiration for the song came from a skull that frontman King Diamond (more on him soon) ‘acquired’ from a medical school. It had suffered a brutal injury, and the name Melissa came to the singer as he stared at it. Melissa also formed part of the stage set until she was stolen at a gig.
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Morbid AngelBleed For The Devil
If that title doesn’t tell you what side death metal legends Morbid Angel’s bread was buttered, how about the photo in the Altars Of Madness album sleeve of guitar wizard Trey Azagthoth shredding while bleeding profusely, looking as though he’s playing for the Great Horned One himself. Or you could just listen to the demented musical maze with lyrics literally attempting to summon Lucifer, and realise that whatever Morbid Angel were doing in the studio, they did not learn it at Sunday school.
Ozzy OsbourneMr Crowley
When Ozzy Osbourne was fired from Black Sabbath in 1979, many wondered whether he’d be able to muster the same dark magic again. Just a year later, people got their answer in the form of debut solo album Blizzard Of Ozz. Mr Crowley, its second single, refers to legendary occultist Aleister Crowley, who founded the religion of Thelema and considered himself a prophet. Dramatic stuff; so it’s a good thing it’s got a grandiose organ intro – and guitarist Randy Rhoads on monumental form.
MisfitsMommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight?
We’d love to hear Freud’s take on Glenn Danzig’s colourful relationship with his mother. Before the diminutive behemoth’s maternally-titled solo smash he penned this ditty for the Misfits about a student driven to homicidal mania by his playground tormentors. But only if ‘Mommy’ says he’s allowed, obviously. Captured raw, the serrated tape-deck live recording only adds to the unhinged bloodlust. And packed like a meat locker with lurid promises to ‘rip the veins from human necks’ we can’t see how Glenn’s old lady could’ve possibly refused…
CovenSatanic Mass
Released in 1969, the same year U.S. occultist Anton LaVey published The Satanic Bible, Coven’s Witchcraft Destroys Minds & Reaps Souls album was the perfect soundtrack to the hippie movement taking a step down the left-hand path. Following nine tracks of Satan-themed psych, it closes with this, an actual satanic mass, conducted by the band. Even if you think it’s hokum, it’s hard to get to the end without feeling weird.
VenomBlack Metal
These days somewhat overlooked, more than any other band Newcastle upon Tyne’s Venom were the chief progenitors of metal’s most bloodthirsty subgenre, thrash metal. Couplets such as ‘Freaking so wild / Nobody’s mild’ may suggest the aid of a rhyming dictionary, but either way Black Metal would prove to be wildly influential on a range of young American musicians with a taste for the extreme. The track has been covered by no fewer than 11 different bands, and is loved by musicians as disparate as Dave Grohl and Kerry King.
Judas PriestBetter By You, Better Than Me
Can a cover of a bouncy ’60s pop song really be evil? According to a couple of grieving parents and their lawyers it can, and in 1990 Rob Halford and the boys were hauled into court over it. With hidden, subliminal messages allegedly buried in the song, which supposedly inspired two fans to shoot themselves, the trial itself was quickly sensationalised by the media. Though the charges were ultimately dismissed, the judge insisted there were such messages on there, though not necessarily powerful enough to incite suicidal actions. Stealth evil, maybe?
Celtic FrostProcreation (Of The Wicked)
Easily one of the most evil bands of their time – and essential to the evolution of extreme metal – Celtic Frost could conjure images of the Devil with a single chord. However, never did they sound more monstrous than on this brutish tune. Lurching along on a hulking riff and with twisted lyrics that scare Christians and excite all those who reject religion (‘If God raised the abyss, you’d procreate your own / Abolism of death is abolism of life’), this is music gloriously devoid of anything that could be considered ‘good’. Sepultura’s take on the track also stands amongst the best metal covers ever.
Killing JokeExorcism
This is a piece of ritualistic industrial-metal primal force that was recorded in the Great Pyramid Of Giza after Killing Joke allegedly bribed the Egyptian Minister For Antiquities for access. “Our engineer fell asleep in the King’s Chamber,” frontman Jaz Coleman told Kerrang! of the sessions. “He suddenly had some vision, sprang up, banged his head and ran out screaming. After this he said he’d never go back in again. He said there were thousands of alien eyes staring at him, and after that he had a stroke. It affected him, the place…”
King DiamondThe Family Ghost
King Diamond is no stranger to strangeness.
“I’ve had a ton of supernatural experiences. I feel like I brought something back with me from the operation [a triple heart bypass in which he nearly died] but I was having supernatural experiences long before that,” he says.
Many of these real-life experiences have been channelled into his music, both with Mercyful Fate and his self-named outfit. The Family Ghost might just be the only song to have incorporated an element of the supernatural into its very recording, however.
The song is a crucial part of King Diamond’s classic horror concept album, Abigail. The story for the album, which involves murder, possession and dark family secrets, came to King in a dream on a suitably stormy night.
“I woke up during a thunderstorm in my haunted apartment in Copenhagen and I had this story in my head. It was also influenced by my own family history. My mom told me how she was left on someone’s doorstep and she later found out she was the child of a professor’s son. He got my grandmother pregnant and she was sent away to have this child. That was all sort of wound into this story,” the singer explains.
On The Family Ghost, protagonist Jonathan La’Fey is warned by the ghost of his ancestor that his wife is carrying the vengeful spirit of the stillborn Abigail and that he must kill her in order to stop the rebirth.
Even spookier than the story is an unexpected and unexplained addition to the recording that may or may not have originated from somewhere beyond the grave.
“There’s a vocal part on The Family Ghost that I never recorded,” explains King. “It’s a part that goes, (adopts bestial growl) ‘Ohhhh damn,’ and we couldn’t find it on any of the tracks anywhere. I have no clue what it was, but it’s certainly not the only weird or even seemingly impossible thing to happen to us.”
Sunn O)))Báthory Erzsébet
What could be more evil than a song jointly inspired by black metal progenitors Bathory and the 16th century serial killer Elizabeth Báthory – who reputedly bathed in the blood of virgins – from whom they took their name? Perhaps one that also consisted of 16 minutes of tortuous drone and bleak lyrics like, ‘Decompose forever, aware and unholy, encased in marble and honey from the swarm.’ Oh, and legend has it the band locked claustrophobic guest vocalist Malefic from occult metal act Xasthur in a casket to make his performance more anguished.
DanzigMother
‘Mother…’ Don’t warble it, we dare you. Glenn Danzig’s post-Misfits mega-hit has gained such ubiquity, it’s easy to overlook its evil underpinnings. Peel away a million hoarse-throated rock club sing-alongs, however, and it’s still devilishly apparent. A tongue-in-cheek cautionary tale targeted squarely at Tipper Gore, the (parental advisory committee) PMRC and 1988’s other moral crusaders, its promise of a scene ‘not about to see your light’ pierced the mainstream like a sacrificial dagger. Chuck in the MTV-banned music video (animal sacrifice and inverted-crosses smeared bloodily onto nubile torsos = bad press, apparently) and we’ve got probably the most subversive song of its era.
SlayerAngel Of Death
Given that their entire oeuvre revolves around war, murder and general unspeakable wickedness, finding evil Slayer songs is hardly difficult: in fact, it’d be significantly more of a challenge to identify songs by the LA thrash metal pioneers that aren’t rooted in despicable, debased acts of inhumanity. That said, while the likes of Dead Skin Mask (based on the exploits of Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein), Jihad (‘Fuck your God!’) and Necrophiliac (erm…) are gruesome and terrifying in equal measure, it’s the notorious opening track of the masterfully malevolent Reign In Blood album which will forever remain the Californian band’s most noxious and black-hearted artistic statement.
Perhaps the most chilling aspect of Jeff Hanneman’s lyrics detailing Nazi physician Josef Mengele’s abhorrent experiments on patients at the Auschwitz concentration camp (‘Burning flesh drips away / Test of heat burns your skin / Your mind starts to boil / Frigid cold, cracks your limbs / How long can you last in this frozen water burial?’) is the fact that they’re so clinical, unemotional and detached, leading to accusations that the band were glorifying the horrors. The controversy actually led to Columbia Records, the distributors for producer Rick Rubin’s Def Jam label, to insist that the track be removed from the album, a demand which both the band and their label boss flatly refused. Ultimately, the label washed their hands of the release, leading Rick to take it to Geffen Records instead.
Jeff always denied accusations that the song exhibited Nazi sympathies, calling it “a history lesson”. “There’s nothing I put in the lyrics that says necessarily he was a bad man, because to me – well, isn’t that obvious?” he stated, not unreasonably. His guitar partner Kerry King was even more brusque, saying, “Read the lyrics and tell me what’s offensive about it?” The band’s lack of repentance is understandable, but it’d be a dead soul indeed who can listen without flinching at the visceral horror.
Diamond HeadAm I Evil?
‘My mother was a witch,’ barked Diamond Head frontman Sean Harris in 1980, lighting a fire under the fledgeling NWOBHM genre, ‘She was burned alive!’ Fusing the occult themes of Black Sabbath to the ragged energy of early punk, the Midlands metallers laid a proto-thrash template that’d be picked up by Metallica (who famously covered the song as a B-side for Creeping Death), Megadeth and Slayer. For all those bands’ stadium-packing pedigree, though, there’s still something untouchably (im)pure about the original. ‘Am I evil?’ came Sean’s immortal question. ‘Yes I am!’
Iron MaidenThe Number Of The Beast
It seems strange to recall, but in the U.S. in the 1980s heavy metal often found itself under assault from religious groups convinced that the genre served as a Trojan Horse for the enslavement of the nation’s youth in the name of Satan. Few songs fostered this misbelief as resoundingly as The Number Of The Beast. Iron Maiden helped fan the flames of the song’s reputation by reporting various strange goings-on in the recording studio, while protests and album burnings greeted them when they headed Stateside for a 1982 tour.
RammsteinWeiner Blut
Rammstein have always courted controversy, and 2009 album Liebe Ist Für Alle Da proved to be no exception. It was initially added to Germany’s Federal Department For Media Harmful To Young Persons index, partly for the sadomasochistic song Ich Tu Dir Weh. The real darkness, however, can be found in Wiener Blut. The song is a first-person retelling of the evil perpetrated by Josef Fritzl, who imprisoned and abused his daughter in the basement of their home for 24 years. That’s all you need to know.
Black SabbathBlack Sabbath
Bassist Geezer Butler once painted his home black and hung inverted crosses and pictures of the Devil on the walls and claims that he saw a “black shape” by his bed after reading a book about witchcraft. The incident inspired one of metal’s most potently evil songs, which opens with a thunderstorm and ominous church bell and is propelled by that tritone riff – a collection of notes named diabolus in musica – which guitarist Tony Iommi describes as “really evil and very doomy”. Indeed, this six-minute song birthed an entire genre. Thanks, mysterious intruder.
MayhemFreezing Moon
By the time Freezing Moon was released on the De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas album, Mayhem’s legacy was already the darkest of any group in history. Two people were dead, one by his own hand, while a third person was serving a 21-year jail sentence for the murder of the other. Late Mayhem guitarist Øystein ‘Euronymous’ Aarseth had often spoken about the need for greater extremity and more evil in black metal. At great expense, he got it.
Two versions of Freezing Moon exist. The first remained unreleased for years, and was one of only two recordings of vocalist Dead (Per Yngve Ohlin), a young Swede who had moved to Norway to join Mayhem. A depressive boy who often spoke of a near-death experience as a child, he would talk about suicide in disarmingly casual tones. For early gigs, he would bury his stage clothes underground and smell dead birds in plastic bags. His lyrics for Freezing Moon were unsurprisingly morbid – ‘Everything here is so cold / Everything here is so dark… I remember it was here I died’ – while his vocal performance was unhinged and chilling.
He would never see it released, however. On April 8, 1991, aged just 22, Dead took his own life in the house he shared with the rest of the band. Euronymous, discovering the body, took photos and collected skull fragments to send to friends as necklaces, before calling the police.
Work continued on what would be Mayhem’s debut full-length, with Burzum’s Varg Vikernes enlisted to play bass, and a Hungarian singer, Attila Csihar, drafted in to replace Dead. Following the recording in early ’93, Attila returned to Hungary. What he would next hear from Norway was unthinkable: in the early hours of August 10, 1993, Varg stabbed Euronymous to death in his apartment. He was arrested and sentenced to 21 years.
The song itself, with its chilling, minor-chord intro where icy notes hang like corpses in the gallows, its scything main riff and demonic atmosphere, already showcased perfectly black metal’s musical abyss. But with so much genuine darkness behind it – killer and victim playing together, despite Euronymous’ parents’ request that Varg’s parts be wiped – it now stands as a chilling document of perhaps the most horrifying time in the history of music.
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Check out more:
Nine Inch NailsSlipknotGuns N' RosesIron MaidenRammsteinGhostBlack SabbathMisfitsSlayerBehemothMötley CrüeAC/DCElectric WizardThe MisfitsMayhemWatainHellhammerDanzigPossessedDiamond Head
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One's a pounder time there was a girl named flower 🌹 it was a name she has been giving by the Man behind the mask to hide her True identity from everyone even his own bodyguards. The reason was so difficult for her to understand at the time because she was being treated like a normal girlfriend and they had a relationship so close to normal as it could get. She was being hidden away from the public and whenever they should spend time together she was being snicked in to the different hotels or places that the Man behind the mask had rented for the acaisen. She was having a huge fight with him the 23 June 2009 about the fact that she thought that he was ashamed of her even though she was one of the most famous models in the world. But she has stopped believing in the word your so beautiful OMG I wish I looked like you. The only thing that matters was the relationship between the Man behind the mask and her. This very day she still regret so deeply that she was to young to understand the way he loved her THEN. Now that he's gone she is praying for forgiveness 🙏🏼 and that's not a day that goes by without thinking of the last conversation
#sad thoughts#my reality#im so sorry#me#the Man behind the mask#2009#forgive me#lovede by a star#love#who is it#i miss you#code#neverland ranch#carousel horse#code name verity#pretty#model#SoundCloud#behind the mask#thank you for everything#instagram#that's just another part of me#hollywood#226 Am#I would have held your hand#the secret history#king of pop#music#my telling#listen
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books of 2023
key:
🌔 reread
🪹 no thoughts no praise
🌊 i have to emotionally recover from this
💥 many thoughts not all praise
🌷 enjoyable
🫧 lovely
january
1. annihilation by jeff vandermeer 🌊
2. the uncoupling by meg wolitzer 🪹
3. the interestings by meg wolitzer 🌔
4. sorrow and bliss by meg mason 💥
5. the catcher in the rye by j.d. salinger 🌷
6. brown girl in the ring by nalo hopkinson 🌷
7. astrid parker doesn’t fail by ashley herring blake 🪹
february
8. little eyes by samanta schweblin 🌷
9. we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson 🫧
10. fight club by chuck palahniuk 🫧
11. salt fish girl by larissa lai 🫧
12. a visit from the goon squad by jennifer egan 🌊
13. wintergirls by laurie halse anderson 🌊
14. oryx and crake by margaret atwood 🪹
15. severance by ling ma 🌊
march
16. olga dies dreaming by xóchitl gonzález 💥
17. the hating game by sally thorne 🌊
18. second first impressions by sally thorne 🌷
19. american royals by katherine mcgee 💥
20. the worst best man by mia sosa 🌷
21. my year of rest and relaxation by ottessa moshfegh 🌔
22. the change by kirsten miller 🫧
23. sealed with a diss by lisi harrison 🌔
24. fledgling by octavia butler 💥
25. the road by cormac mccarthy 🌊
26. intimacies by katie kitamura 🫧
27. le divorce by diane johnson 🌊
april
28. it happened one summer: a novel by tessa bailey 💥
29. fifty words for rain by asha lemmie💥
30. all my puny sorrows by miriam toews 🌔
31. speak by laurie halse anderson 🌔
32. the queen’s gambit by walter tevis 🫧
33. you will know me: a novel by megan abbot 🌷
34. the virgin suicides by jeffrey eugenides 🌔
35. the boy, the mole, the fox and the horse by charlie mackery 🌊
may
36. beautiful world, where are you: a novel by sally rooney 🌷
37. conversations with friends: a novel by sally rooney 🌊
38. a tree grows in brooklyn by betty smith 🫧
39. emergency contacts by mary h.k. choi 🌔
40. i’ll give you the sun by jandy nelson 🌔
41. if i never met you: a novel by mhairi mcfarlane 🌷
42. the girls by emma cline 🌊
43. confessions of a shopaholic: a novel by sophie kinsella 💥
44. second place: a novel by rachel cusk 🌊
45. convenience store woman by sayaka murata 🌔
june
46. the black presidency: barack obama and the politics of race in america by michael eric dyson 🫧
47. i’ll be you by janelle brown 🪹
48. the best american short stories (2020) 🌊
49. crazy rich asians by kevin kwan 🌔
50. the suitors: a novel by cécile david-weill 🌷
51. monster high by lisi harrison 🌔
52. elegance by kathleen tessaro 🌔
53. monster high: the ghoul next door by lisi harrison 🌔
54. monster high: where there’s a wolf, there’s a way by lisi harrison 🌔
july
55. monster high: back and deader than ever by lisi harrison 🌔
56. thin girls by diana clarke 🌊
57. eileen by ottessa moshfegh 🌷
58. china rich girlfriend by kevin kwan 🌔
59. composing a life by mary catherine bateson 🌷
60. in every mirror she’s black by lọlá ákínmádé åkerström 🌊
61. the invasion by k.a. applegate (animorphs) 🌔
62. less by andrew sean greer 🌊
63. the visitor by k.a. applegate (animorphs) 🌔
august
64. when katie met cassidy by camille perri 🌷
65. the message by k.a. applegate (animorphs) 🌔
66. the predator by k.a. applegate (animorphs) 🌔
67. the capture by k.a. applegate (animorphs) 🌔
68. the stranger by k.a. applegate (animorphs) 🌔
69. david kibbe's metamorphosis: discover your image identity and dazzle as only you can by david kibbe (who could have guessed) 🌷
70. the most fun we ever had by claire lombardo 🌔
71. earthlings by sayaka murata 🫧
72. pageboy: a memoir by elliot page 🫧
73. diary of an oxygen thief by anonymous 🌊
74. bridget jones’s diary by helen fielding 🌷
september
75. idol, burning by rin usami 🫧
76. cleopatra and frankenstein by coco mellors 🌷
77. kitchen by banana yoshimoto 🫧
78. addiction by design by natasha dow schüll 🌊
79. the fellowship of the ring by j.r.r. tolkein 💥
80. smashed: story of a drunken girlhood by koren zailckas 🌊
october
81. american psycho by bret easton ellis 🌊
82. all the lovers in the night by mieko kawakami 🫧
83. peace, love, and baby ducks by lauren myracle 🌖
84. if i had your face by frances cha 🌊
85. milk fed by melissa broder 🪹
86. legally blonde by amanda brown 💥
november
87. seven ways we lie by riley redgate 🌖
88. even the stars look lonesome by maya angelou 🫧
89. airhead by meg cabot 🌖
90. being nikki by meg cabot 🌖
91. runaway by meg cabot 🌖
92. wuthering heights by emily brontë 🌊
93. slouching towards bethlehem by joan didion 🫧
94. the heart principle by helen hoang 💥
95. in the shape of a human body i am visiting earth, edited by ilya kaminsky, dominic luxford, and jesse nathan 🌊
96. good for you by tammara webber 🌖
97. here without you by tammara webber 🪹
december
98. breasts and eggs by mieko kawakami 🌊
99. ender’s shadow by orson scott card 🌖
100. girlfriend in a coma by douglas coupland 🌊
101. altered states by anita brookner 🌊
102. i don’t know how she does it by allison pearson 💥
103. the hunger games by suzanne collins 🌖
104. catching fire by suzanne collins 🌖
105. mockingjay by suzanne collins 🌖
#dear diary#books#february#march#january#april#may#june#or maybe we ignore june tbh#july#august#september#october#november#december
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if you're open to it, i'd love to know any music reccomendations you want to give! :)
LET'S GOOOOO ok here are some different songs I've been vibing to recently:
Yaz - Situation (I'M GROOVING SO HARD TO THIS LIKE PLEAAASE EVERYONE LISTEN TO IT)
Marlena Shaw - California Soul and Labi Siffre - I Got The... (Similar vibes to me? Ecstasy? Relief? Beauty? Everyone needs these songs in their lives)
Amerie - 1 Thing (lol)
Chaka Khan - I Feel For You and Michael Jackson - Don't Stop Till You Get Enough (songs for being joyously in love)
Jengi - Bel Mercy (Shakin My Ass)
KC and the Sunshine Band - Get Down Tonight (iykyk)
Honourable mentions:
Talking Heads - Slippery People, Girlfriend is Better
Gorillaz - Left Hand Suzuki Method
Flo Milli - May I
The Beatles - Hey Bulldog
Don't get me wrong I'm a huge rock and roll sleazebag but I'm diversifying my musical palate and I'm the last person in the world to discover how fucking dope pop and dance music is
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HELLO i was tagged by rumi my friend rumi @ultimaid AND trix my friend trix @gh0str3c0rd3r for ten songs i have been listening to recently! (ok but just in advance you can't make fun of me for my lame ass music OKAY peace and love on planet earth)
SO IF YOU REMEMBER POPPY (she got really popular for her really strange youtube videos a very long time ago) she is actually one of my FAVORITE music artists EVER and this is her newest song!!! her music style is really unique and cool KINDA weirdly halfway between pop and metal IT'S SO COOL i'll actually PROBABLY bring her up again on this post tbh but!!!! YEAH LISTEN TO CHURCH OUTFIT and her new song that's coming out next week!!
so i've actually really really loved prince since middle school and i've been relistening to a lot of the songs i liked back then lately and this has to be ONE OF MY FAVORITES... it's not a very popular one but the lyrics FUCK SEVERELY imo, i'm a huge fan of "if i was your one and only friend, would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if that somebody was me?"
this song is like. it may be my actual favorite piece of sapphic music EVER i love the lyrics, i love the vibes, it fits sosososo many ships and i literally listen to it SOOOO much, ask me what songs i've been listening to at any given time and this will be ON THE LIST
ALSO ONE OF MY FAVORITE SAPPHIC SONGS EVER AND WITH SUMMER COMING UP I HAVE HAD IT ON REPEAT!!!! perfect for summer, perfect for lesbians, perfect for me, a lesbian who has been calling it "hot girl summer" for weeks now (even tho it's april)
ANOTHER POPPY SONG okay so i LOVE her whole am i a girl? album SO MUCH but this is my favorite song off of it and one of the ones i listen to on repeat the most SO I TOTALLY RECOMMEND bc the lyrics and style are just SO COOL but also go listen to the whole album and i will love you forever
i honestly just listened to this recently bc i randomly remembered the nostalgia so i wouldn't necesssarily Recommend It if it doesn't give you fond memories of being in fifth grade like it does to me BUT to this day it's just super cute and super mecore
TO MAKE A VERY LONG ERA OF MY LIFE SHORT basically i had this like. CRAZY michael jackson hyperfixation in middle school. and i have obviously grown out of it BUT this is still one of my favorite songs ever and is still one i listen to all the time. the lyrics are simple but they scratch an itch in my brain and it's really beautiful. I WILL ACTUALLY also put the youtube link for this one bc the version on the michael album was released posthumously and i really think the overproduction takes away from what makes the song so beautiful. SO I RECOMMEND THE ORIGINAL INSTEAD (i love you sven nelson channel with all the rare demos and original versions of michael's stuff)
youtube
OK SORRY FOR PUTTING POPPY AGAIN BUT I COULDN'T NOT PUT THIS ONE even tho it's her most mainstream song it's also by far my most looped one bc IT'S JUST SO FUN and upbeat and nice to listen to, it was my top song in 2022 and i still loop it all the time!!! definitely give it a listen (BUT ALSO CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE ALBUM BC YOU HAVE PROBABLY HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE BUT REALLY THE REST OF THE ALBUM IS SO GOOD AND A LOT OF THE OTHER SONGS ARE A LOT MORE UNIQUE STYLISTICALLY AND LYRICALLY)
I'M SORRY FOR INCLUDING GLEE I'M SORRY I SWEAR IT'S JUST THE ONE bc this is like. my favorite glee song EVER. brittana literally made me who i am today when i was a confused queer middle schooler who wasn't allowed to have access to most queer media SO THIS SONG IS VERY SPECIAL TO ME OKAY and listening to it on repeat for hours is an ultimate therapeutic experience so i've highkey been doing it nonstop recently
janet jackson is so cool i'd actually marry her. anyways i have had this song on loop and have listened to it at least 50 times in the last week.... IT FUCKS SO SEVERELY songs i could sing sosososo loud word for word
I AM BLANKING ON WHO I COULD TAG BC THIS ALREADY WENT AROUND MY MUTUAL CIRCLES but if you want to do it then YOU SHOULD thumbs up
#squishy talks too much#THIS IS SUCH A WEIRD LIST SORRY this is why i never talk about my music#bc like. this happens#BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND i hope yall check out poppy okay bc most of my music is lame but she is cool as fuck
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