#Mr Beast x The Bad Batch | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iateyourfav · 2 months

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Beastification - Chapter 1

Cid sends the Bad Batch on a mission to rescue a certain Mr Beast from the grasp of Jabba the Hutt. After they retrieve him, something changes. There's something different about Mr Beast and they can't tell for certain what it is. Will they ever get rid of Mr Beast?

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, I'm trying to be serious about this.

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, canon violence, indication of mpreg (sfw), Mr Beast talks to a invisible camera, Lore breaking content

Words: 881

Will update on Wednesdays and Sundays

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ...

Read on ao3

Cid hadn‘t told them much about the mission, as usual, but still, something felt fishy about this one. What was most suspicious was that Cid had this slight smirk on her face the entire briefing while she neglected details on whatever would await them at their destination in favor of talking about how they would thank her for this mission once they come back.

Tensions were high on the Marauder. Everyone hoped Cids indications would mean better payment this time around. While Omega was asleep in her Gunner Mount/Room the rest of the batch gathered in the cockpit.

Wrecker, who sat in the copilot seat, broke the silence first. „I don‘t know what’s going on with Cid and this mission. I just hope we‘re gonna get paid and not killed.“ He crossed his arms, pouting.

„It will be a rather simple extraction. To be completely honest, calling it a pick-up would be more fitting. We will meet the target on Mos Eisley. Though I do wonder how they ended up there and why we are sent to bring them back. This mission seems to mock our abilities“ Tech replied, sounding just slightly angry at this extraction not having to make use of his heightened intelligence. „We‘re approaching Tatooine.“

Hunter leaned against the back wall, brows furrowed. He didn’t like this. Usually, when they were sent on simpler missions, only two of them would go, but Cid insisted they would need all hands on deck on this one. It didn‘t make sense to him. Deep in thought, he almost didn‘t notice the small hands pulling on his arm.

„It‘s gonna be fine, Hunter, don‘t worry. It could be fun!“ Omega smiled up at him, excited as ever. Of course, she had never been to Tatooine before, so that fact alone made her excited to go through on this mission. Though that excitement quickly vanished.

“You‘re staying on the ship. The mission is simple, but we‘re not gonna take you into Jabba's Palace. That place is swarming with scum.“ And with that, her smile dropped.

Hunter knelt down to be able to talk to her face to face. „It‘s for the better. It‘s nasty in there, you wouldn‘t wanna see it anyways.“ Her patted her on the shoulder before standing up again. By this time they already entered the atmosphere of the planet and were getting ready to land in front of Jabba‘s Palace.

Shortly after leaving the ship the batch found themselves in front of the massive doors leading into the Hutt's Palace.

“I‘ve only heard horror stories about this place. Can‘t say I‘m excited to go in there.“ Echo commented with an already disgusted look on his face, despite not even having entered the building yet. „It‘s gonna be a quick job. We‘ll be in and out in no time. We just pay the bail and leave with the target, that‘s it.“ Hunter responded.

This triggered an annoyed huff from Wrecker. „Great, another mission where we can‘t blow anything up.“ The gates were opened for them and quickly after placed in front of Jabba to state their business.

„We‘re here to bail out one of your captives.“ Hunter tried to keep the conversation short, not desiring to speak to the Hutt more than necessary. Tech handed over the payment to one of Jabba‘s servants at the same time, also wanting to leave as fast as possible. To nobody‘s surprise, all of them felt uneasy in an establishment like this, with bounty hunters all around.

The protocol droid finally translated whatever Jabba was saying. „Your prisoner will be brought up shortly. Jabba wishes for you to leave with him as quickly as you can, he can not bear to hear any more of his voice.“

Just then their target was brought in, a sight to behold. He walked in, with the most dazzling blue eyes any of them had ever seen. Body moving in a perfect curve, hair just shaggy enough, and beard perfectly trimmed. He looked at them, one after another, through perfectly curled lashes.

It took Hunter hitting his shoulder for Wrecker to snap back out of this state of hypnosis. „Wrecker, get him.“

His cheeks turned slightly red before going up to the hostage and taking him from Jabba‘s guards. They immediately made their way towards the exit. Wrecker tried to ignore the fact that he was guiding this incredibly attractive man out of imprisonment.

The man‘s head turned towards him, ever so slightly and elegantly, like every movement he had seen from him so far. „THANK YOU.“ he whispered. This wasn‘t directed at them as a group, but exclusively at Wrecker, making his face grow even hotter. He could only muster up a grunt as a response, feeling flustered.

Omega waited for them in front of the Marauder.

“I told you to stay inside.“ Hunter shouted towards the girl, slightly irritated. „I‘m fine. I got bored so I wanted to at least wait outside for you.“ she yelled back. Then, her glance shifted from Hunter to the hostage her brothers were bringing with them. Her eyes widened, jaw dropped.

Everybody stopped in their tracks, expecting the worst from Omega‘s facial expression. A ambush, maybe. But her eyes rested on their acquired target.

“Woah, is that Mr Beast??????“

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movietimegirl · 28 days

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Happy Bad Batch and X-Men 97 eve!

#the bad batch #x men 97 #tbb omega #tbb tech #tbb hunter #tbb crosshair #tbb batcher #tbb wrecker #star wars #rouge #magneto #cyclops #wolverine #jubilee #beast #mr sinister #gambit #erik lehnsherr #charles xavier

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yehet-me-up · 5 years

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The Brief and Disastrous Knighthood of Byun Baekhyun

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: fluff af, comedy

Word Count: 1,787

Request: Baekhyun, comedy, 7+25 (if two is ok?) from the quote list! I love your writing!! Hello love!! This is based on Exo Mall Baekhyun because I’m such trash for that Baek. You don’t have to have read any of it to read this drabble though! I hope you enjoy it <33

A/N: Tagging the Mrs. Byuns: @jeonocho @hopefulbyun @byunfirstlady @byunbabekhyun <3

May 14th, 1988

Baekhyun stretches, lifting his arms above his head and exposing a sliver of his stomach that makes your heart do its traitorous flip.

You wonder what it would be like to bite the skin there, if he’d like that. Okay, that’s enough, brain.

To distract yourself from these absolutely insane thoughts about your best friend you playfully tickle the exposed skin of his low back and he yelps, covering himself.

He makes a big show of dying in agony, holding his back and making you giggle. Both of you are still exhausted from your sixteenth birthday last night but as always he seems to have never ending energy.

‘Back to the old coal mines,’ he jokes while you two wait out back of the movie theater for the opening manager.

‘I hear you’ve got the black lung after a week, that must be a record,’ you say, sticking an imaginary microphone to his face. ‘What can you tell us, Mr. Byun?’

‘Baekhyun, please. Mr. Byun is my father.’ He leans against the wall and gives you a roguish grin. ‘You know me, I will persevere through any hardship. Ready and willing to lay down my life for the people of Seattle, in need of film and snacks.’

You gasp dramatically. ‘You’re so noble. You should be knighted for your services to the cinema-going community.’

He sketches a dramatic bow while you mime placing an imaginary sword on one shoulder and then the other.

‘Thank you, milady,’ he says in a regal voice. ‘I-’ He stops short at the sight of Serena, your manager.

‘Don’t stop on my account,’ she laughs. It turns into a yawn as she pulls out her keys to unlock the door. ‘It’s been a week and I already know you’re one outrageous child Baekhyun.’

He sighs, pressing his hand to his forehead with exaggerated relief.

‘As long as you know what you’ve gotten yourself into,’ you tell her with mock gravity.

He scoffs and clutches his chest. ‘Betrayed by my oldest friend. How dare you.’

Serena walks you inside the theater and you feel a frisson of excitement in your stomach. Finally. For years you and Baek have been counting down the days until you could work here. His ass just had to go and turn sixteen a week before you. Rude.

She opens a closet to the left and turns on the lights.

You take a deep breath. It already feels like home, with the plush black carpet with its outer space pattern, the smell of stale soda and popcorn, the flickering light above theater One that’s been broken since 1983 when your dad took you and Baekhyun to see Return of the Jedi.

When Serena comes back out she hands what looks like a checklist to Baekhyun. ‘Will you walk her through the opening duties?’

He takes the list and salutes her. ‘On my life, Captain.’

She rolls her eyes at him. ‘How on earth do you stand him?’ she asks you with a good-natured laugh.

You open your mouth to say something else sassy about Baekhyun, but you pause. Since Kindergarten the two of you have been joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod, your mom would say. They even let him sleep over at your house and you at his; you’re practically family.

But the past few years you’ve stopped seeing him as just your best friend and started to see him as something... more. A dangerous more that makes your palms sweat and your mind think of all sorts of inappropriate things.

You cough awkwardly. ‘Well, he’s not that bad most of the time. He’s a pretty great friend actually.’

He looks touched for a moment; the banter and joking you usually keep up between you two lifts for a brief pause. His brows tug together and he gives you a smile absent of laughter. Gods, you want to kiss him.

Thanks, hormones, you think with a groan.

Serena laughs. ‘Alright, just don’t burn the place down please.’

‘You got it!’ Baekhyun says and jogs over to the counter, leaping and sliding on his ass across the smooth surface before landing dramatically.

Serena rubs her eyes with her hands. ‘He’s going to get me fired, isn’t he?’

You take pity on her. ‘Don’t worry, the only thing he ever hurts is himself,’ you say and walk around to the side entrance to the concessions stand, the proper entrance.

‘That’s not reassuring!’ she calls after you before heading upstairs.

When you step through the door he’s eyeing the list and mumbling to himself. He has no idea what he’s doing you realize and stifle a laugh. You come up behind him and read over his shoulder.

‘Need some help?’ you say right in his ear.

‘No,’ he replies instantly. He stands and gathers himself.

‘Take notes, sweetheart,’ he says in the absolute worst Humphrey Bogart impression you’ve ever heard. ‘I’m an expert.’

‘Gross.’ You snort and fold your arms. ‘So, Sir Byun. You’ve mastered this machine after a solid week? Amazing.’

He narrows his eyes at you. ‘If it’s so easy, why don’t you figure it out?’

‘Oh, no,’ you say with a smirk. ‘You want a medal of honor? This is all you my friend. Astound me with your technical mastery.’

He pantomimes rolling up non-existent sleeves. ‘Step out of the way, miss. This requires the work of an professional.’

First he flips on a switch, lighting up the machine. Next he grabs a tall metallic container and looks at the plastic tub of popcorn kernels, looking back and forth between the list and the cup.

He pouts without realizing it. You lean against the counter and pick at a caked-on patch of something neon blue and sticky to avoid thinking about his soft hair and his lips.

He dips the cup in the tub and fills it to the brim, brushing a few kernels off the top and pouring it into the machine. ‘Ta da!’ he says triumphantly.

‘That’s it?’ you ask, stepping next to him.

‘Excuse me, I’ve been knighted by a Queen, how dare you question me,’ he teases, making a face.

‘My apologies Sir Byun,’ you laugh, bowing dramatically to him. ‘This queen wonders if perhaps, the machine should be... I don’t know, doing something?’

‘That’s weird,’ he says. He double checks the lights and lifts the lid. ‘It normally starts popping right away, I don’t know what’s wrong with it.’

He futzes with it, trying to get it to start. The edges of his ears, still too big for his head, turn pink the longer it takes him to figure it out.

The smell of popcorn burning reaches you both and his eyes widen. ‘Oh shoot, I forgot this other switch. Whoops,’ he says sheepishly.

He flicks on the second switch and the popper rattles to life like an ancient beast angry at being awoken. You eye it suspiciously, watching the warped lid rattle cautiously. A beat later and the noise inside grows incredibly loud.

‘Baek, is it supposed to do that?’

‘Uhhhh… I’m not sure?’ he watches it with fear in his eyes too, moving in front of you as kernels start to pop.

The uneven lid flings a hot kernel at Baekhyun like a slingshot and he winces as it smacks his exposed arm. ‘Oh shit.’

Before either of you can move, the machine practically explodes, dozens of kernels flying out at lightning speed.

One catches you on the forehead and you yelp. ‘BAEKHYUN WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!’

You throw your arms over your head as molten hot kernels rain down around you. He pulls you around the corner out of the way, shielding you with his broad shoulders and pressing your back to the door.

In the enclosure of his body you breathe in his clean and light scent, heart slowing down from the shock but speeding up at his closeness. His chest moves against yours and he looks down to the non-existent space between you.

In all the years you’ve been friends you’ve hugged many times. Wrestled over toys. Swam together. Fell asleep in his lap during the millionth viewing of Halloween. Played with his hair whenever he’d pass out on your leg while stargazing with your group of friends.

But something feels different this time and the confusion in his eyes mirrors the turbulent feelings in your heart. Neither of you speak as the popper wages Armageddon on the concessions area.

Warmth blooms low in your body and your brows shoot up in shock. The motion makes the kernel burn on your forehead ache and you wince and press a palm to it.

‘I’m sorry, Hitch,’ he says softly.

Before you can tell him it’s fine he lifts a hand, touching the sore spot with his thumb. He leans forward and shocks you by pressing a gentle kiss to the spot.

You have no idea what to say, robbed of the words that always come so easily between you two.

But you’re saved by the bell. Or, in this case, by your manager.

The noise cuts off abruptly and you peek around Baekhyun to see Serena with a clipboard protecting her face and her hand on the switches.

‘Baekhyun, what happened?’

He runs his hand on his neck, stepping back to let you move. He winces. ‘I don’t know what I did, I’m sorry.’

‘As long as neither of you were hurt.’ She slides her sleeve down to cover her wrist and carefully looks into the popper. She shakes her head and Baekhyun has the grace to look ashamed.

Serena stares the two of you down. ‘Look, I’m not going to say anything to anyone about this. Just… next time please make sure you turn on the heat and the agitator at the same time. And don’t forget to put the oil in. And - lord - don’t put in three times the amount of kernels the machine can handle.’

‘Expert my ass, Baek,’ you snicker, covering your mouth. ‘Wait, how’d you get to the popper Serena? Did you jump the counter?’

She purses her lips at you two and glares at you over her glasses as she walks to the door. ‘I won’t tell if you won’t.’

‘Deal,’ you both say in unison.

Once she’s gone, Baekhyun grabs the broom to start cleaning up and you begin making a batch, the proper way. Neither of you acknowledges the odd moment between you.

He groans and you sling an arm around his shoulder to cheer him up. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll only sue you a little for the damage.’

He mutters while he sweeps, pouting dramatically. ‘You’ll definitely take away my knighthood for this.’

#DRABBLEPALOOZA #baekhyun x reader #baekhyun fanfic #baekhyun fluff #exo au #exo fanfic #exo x reader #exo fluff

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theprocrastinatingalien · 5 years

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5 Actors who should be cast in the MCU (and who as!)

This isn't the first time I've done this... but these are brand new suggestions! Five actors I think should be cast in the Marvel Cinematic Universe... and who as!

KIERNAN SHIPKA as Gwen Stacy

Okay, so I just finished watching the first batch of CHILLING ADVENTURES OF SABRINA, and I started pondering what else she could do. Well, obviously, lots. Shipka is a very good actress, I was already aware of her from MAD MEN, but I mean for the process of this blog. It came to me that she's the right age with mix with the Spider-Man cast... so why not cast her as Gwen Stacy? It works for me. Gwen has been played by Bryce Dallas Howard in SPIDER-MAN 3, and by Emma Stone in THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN movies.

I think Shipka would work well with Tom Holland, the Peter Parker in the MCU. She's also got the ability to spin off to Spider-Gwen should they wish to try that.

MARK STRONG as Professor X

So we know this... The X-MEN are coming to MCU. Disney buying out 20th Century Fox means this... but how long it will take is unknown. Also what's unknown is how. Realistically, we have to assume a complete reboot, as they did with SPIDER-MAN. So we can forget James McAvoy as Charles Xavier, but let's be honest, considering the timeline of the established X-franchise, it should be Patrick Stewart's version that gets to mix with the likes Doctor Strange and Black Panther. But forget Stewart too (a shame as Stewart was perfect casting).

For ages, I have been suggesting Mark Strong as a bridge between McAvoy and Stewart within the franchise, but now I'm simply suggesting him as new casting outright. Strong is brilliant, and whilst he keeps mixing with the DC side of comics, he has yet to hit the MCU. Get that bald man a wheelchair.

JEFFREY WRIGHT as Beast

Sticking with the X-MEN theme, I thought I'd suggest this one... Jeffrey Wright as Dr Hank McCoy! I really like this one. I think Wright is perfect. I thought this whilst watching the most recent season of WESTWORLD. Wright has the right intelligent style to him, similar to Kelsey Grammer (X-MEN: THE LAST STAND) in some respects. Nicholas Hoult is decent in the younger cast version, but Wright fits how I see the character from the comics and animated series.

Jeffrey Wright with Hulk-style mo-cap works for me I think.

SAM CLAFLIN as Human Torch

Okay, okay, so I did say these were all new suggestions, and I do know that I've already suggested it, but I really like this as an option. So far, both previous actors to take on the role of Johnny Storm have ended up in the MCU anyway (Chris Evans and Michael B Jordan) so now Disney have bought 20th Century Fox, the MCU can get on and cast their own Human Torch.

Personally, I think Claflin is the man for the job. He's a good actor, and showed his fun athletic side in THE HUNGER GAMES.

PATRICK WILSON as Namor

Okay, so I've previously suggest Wilson as a potential Mr Fantastic... and I stick by that casting! However, I recently saw AQUAMAN, and saw Wilson in action. Okay, obviously NAMOR would be another underwater-action epic, so this casting may not be that inspired, but Wilson played the bad guy in that film, and could easily switch to being the good guy, and main star. He was due to appear in ANT-MAN initially (as Paxton, a role that went to Bobby Cannavale) so he's on their radar!

Now, I do have alternatives to this option (should Marvel wish to cast him as Reed Richards, as per my original suggestion). For a younger take, what about Zac Efron? I used to dismiss him, but have grown to like him a lot more in the last few years. I could accept Efron as Namor - but for now, I'm going with Wilson. Oh... I suggest remembered that Aidan Turner existed....

but finally... a bonus suggestion!

ISAIAH MUSTAFA as Blade

I know Isaiah Mustafa from two things. Firstly, the Old Spice adverts. Secondly, he plays Luke from SHADOWHUNTERS. He plays a werewolf in that. On top of that, he'll be playing adult Mike in IT CHAPTER 2. I came up with Mustafa when I was trying to think of someone to play Blade... ignoring Wesley Snipes, and every other black actor that has appeared in the MCU already (I would have loved Idris Elba in the role). Of the five here, this one I'm less sure about, but it could work. So what do you guys think? Let me know in the comments! I've got more suggestions coming your way!

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bigskydreaming · 5 years

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LOL in all honesty though I’m way too amused by my own Jack Frost joke and its literally from a Bobby/Christian fanfic I wrote like, twelve years ago or something. It was right after Morrison introduced the idea of Christian in his run for purposes of Emma angst, and then they had that Emma solo, and I took that and ran with that fueled entirely by Rage and Spite, as I am wont to do. I now have no idea where said fanfic is, sadly. This was definitely way before Ao3. I think I only posted it on LJ, on an account where my friends list was like....entirely people from an entirely different fandom soooooo probably why that fic never really caught on. Whatever, I write fic more for myself anyway lmao.

It was pretty good though, think it would’ve held up well. The basic premise had to do with Dark Beast, the AU version of Hank from Age of Apocalypse. See, in the comics, when the few survivors of the Age of Apocalypse reality ended up in the 616 reality after it was destroyed, not all of them ended up in the present. Dark Beast, for example, ended up like twenty years in the past. And he didn’t have most of his memories, amnesia from trauma from the cross-dimensional travel or something. Which is when he met a then teenage Emma Frost, who’d just run away from home after everything that happened with her dad and Christian, and she ended up restoring Dark Beast’s memories with her telepathy, so they actually have history in the comics.

So I went with the idea of, okay what if you let Christian have agency in his trauma instead of giving it to Emma, who lbr, has PLENTY of story material on her own. So my premise was that it was Christian who ran away from home and ended up meeting Dark Beast and restoring his memories. And then Dark Beast, who has always been just as obsessed with creating the perfect mutant as Mr. Sinister is, if not more, because he’s like....equally obsessed with proving he’s better than Sinister....well instead of experimenting on the Morlocks, which is what he went on to do in the comics, he looks elsewhere. He never went after Scott or Jean, because he’s also a coward and Sinister scares him shitless, and DB knew damn well there was no such thing as a reality where Sinister hadn’t already called dibs on Scott and Jean’s genes. BUT, Dark Beast also knew from his own reality who all the other most powerful mutants would end up being....years before their powers even manifested in this reality. And since I’m me, of course I wrote it so that like, DB decided to focus on the other one of the 05 destined to grow up to be an omega mutant.

And so he had Christian, who was young and easily manipulated because Love Me, I Need External Validation, My Last Name is Frost as In My Family’s Credo is What If We’re All Frosty All The Time....he had Christian use his telepathy to like, prompt Bobby into running away before the actual event that led to Xavier and Scott finding him and saving him and him joining the X-Men. Where Bobby of course ‘happened’ to bump into DB, who took him in along with his other young protege Christian, so he could like, secretly conduct experiments on Bobby blah blah you get it.

But eventually Christian and Bobby fell in lurv and Christian was like what no, this is wrong, bad, not doing this anymore, so they run away together, and then it was basically just me writing them as a mutant Bonnie and Clyde who are gay and do crime together and say like, fuck all the adult mutants who try and manipulate them and other kids like them. Like Xavier, who eventually tried to get Bobby to join the X-Men and Bobby was like lol no, hard pass. Or the Hellfire Club, who eventually tried to recruit Christian except he was like lol no, hard pass. And then they were basically like this Chaotic Good power couple that just popped up here and there fucking shit up in a well-intentioned way that made half the X-Men grind their teeth and the other half snicker, and same with the Acolytes and other various groups. And there wasn’t really anything anyone could do about it because its canon that Bobby’s only real weakness is to psychics and having a world-class psychic as your boyfriend really kinda nips that weakness in the bud. Unless you come up against like, a cosmic-class psychic like Jean Grey, but lucky for them, she just thinks they’re adorable and tends to go whoops, missed them again every time they slip through the X-Men’s fingers.

And ultimately they decided their real mission in life was to rescue really young mutants whose powers manifested early and put them in danger, and make sure they get a chance to grow up without the various factions going ‘we’ll protect you, but only if you grow up to support our agenda and be One of us, shhhh, don’t fight it, just sign your life away on the dotted line, all the cool kids are doing it.’ And also me being me, and it being like 2004 ish? I think? Maybe 2005. Anyway. So my other preoccupation of the time was the Academy X kids so of course we’re talking like Julian and Josh and Cessily and the like, who were all like, adorable little ten year olds at this point in time, but also V. Beyond the Capacity of These Two Hapless Gays to Handle Without Help. Like, apparently omega powers and world-class telepathy do not actually qualify you to effectively parent a mob of young mutant menaces when you’re only 21-22 yourselves, who knew. So they ended up just showing up on the doorstep of one of Emma’s properties, mutant menace mob in tow, as she was the White Queen by now, and Christian greeting her facepalm moment with ‘Hey Ems, remember how you always wanted to be a teacher?’

And then there was this bit where Emma was something like “I’m a bit busy trying to take over the world, darling, try me again after my mid-life crisis.”

And Christian was all: “You can teach and take over the world at the same time, y’know, some of us are capable of this little thing called multi-tasking?”

And Bobby helpfully piped up: “I can pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.”

Cue Emma’s wrinkled nose and accusing stare at her brother: “What on earth do you see in him?”

But Bobby just turned around and was like: “Umm, for starters, my ass is amazing. Have you not seen it? Here, touch it. Go ahead, you can squeeze it.”

Emma: .....

Christian, shrugging: “Well I mean, he’s not wrong.”

Emma: “If I agree to this idiotic plan of yours will you leave immediately and never come back?”

Bobby, stage whispering: “Tell her we still want holiday visits, so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us more than her. But don’t tell her that last part.”

Christian, dutifully: “We want to still come by for holidays so we can be the cool gay uncles who show up and spoil them rotten and thus they love us but no more than you, an equal amount only.”

Emma: “I’m standing right here you imbeciles.”

Bobby, still whispering: “Make sure that includes Easter. I’m pretty sure if I show up in a bunny costume I can make her head explode.”

Christian: “Just to be clear, that includes - “

Emma, a vein in her temple throbbing: “Just give me the children already.”

Bobby, gathering up the kids in a crowd around him, all noisy and giggling and clamoring for his attention: “Okay kids, so here’s the plan. From now on, you guys are gonna stay here in this big old house with Auntie Em!”

Emma, appalled: “Oh. My. God.”

Christian frowns: “Emma, please stop trying to fry my boyfriend’s brain. I’m not going to let you.”

And then the kids swarmed through the door past her into the hallway and there were the sounds of stuff breaking, distracting her for a bit before she like, glared at Bobby and was all: “This is all your doing!”

Bobby, hurt: “Only mostly! Chris and I are a team. A united front. It was a 60/40 split.”

Christian: “Well....”

Bobby: “Okay, 70/30.”

Christian: “You said you were going out to get some waffles to make breakfast in the morning and you came home with waffles, ice cream, and Julian on your shoulders.”

Bobby: “He followed me home!”

Christian: “That’s not how he tells it.”

Bobby, whirling on the ten year old Julian Keller who’s playing a Gameboy and looking entirely unconcerned: “You little traitor.”

Julian flipped him off.

Bobby, scandalized: “He did NOT learn that from me.”

Julian, still not looking up from his game: “Yes I did.”

And that was when Christian started dragging his boyfriend back to their car, before Bobby can get into an actual fight with a ten year old, yelling back over his shoulder at Emma: “Okay, great, thanks so much for doing this, let us know if you need us to bring anything when we come back in a few days with the second batch.”

Emma, distracted and trying to do a headcount: “Yes, fine, be gone already. ...Wait. What second batch? DRAAAAAAAKE!!”

But it was too late as the car is halfway to her big mansion gates by then, Bobby cackling: “Hey, we should totally get a dog. Like a little foofy one.”

Christian, knowing better than to ask but asking anyway: “And why is that?”

Bobby: “Bet you anything I can get her to say “I’ll get you and your little dog too!’”

Christian: “I’d appreciate it for both our sakes if you never do or say anything to suggest to my sister you’ve ever compared her to the Wicked Witch of the West. I mean, not that she’d protest on moral grounds, but she takes her color schemes very seriously. And you do know you don’t actually have to provoke her quite so much...”

Bobby: “Mmmm....agree to disagree. It’s the principle of the matter.”

Christian: “What principle? What matter?”

That was the gist of that scene anyway. Dialogue’s probably different, but you get it.

Ugh, I probably have the whole thing sitting in an old email account somewhere because that’s always been my main way of backing stuff up, is emailing it to myself. Problem is, I think I had a specific fandom email account back then and I don’t know what it is anymore lol.

#kalen writes things sometimes

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cassiefanfic · 7 years

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Masterlist

UPDATED 09 April 2018

Rules for the Blog

Ship Requests

Feedback Link

DON’T REPOST MY WRITING

15 Days of Valentines Day (Multifandom)

13 Reasons Why

Take Care (Jeff Atkins x Reader) [20 June 2017]

Mi Flor (Jeff Atkins x Reader) [15 July 2017]

Baby Driver

B-A-B-Y Baby (Baby x Reader) [06 September 2017]

Let Me Show You How To Drive A Car (Baby x Reader, Darling, Buddy, Doc) [11 October 2017]

Baby’s Baby With A Baby (Baby x Reader) [09 April 2018]

DC Comics/Arrowverse

Trouble Without Me (Barry Allen x Speedster!Reader) [18 January 2017]

Hold My Hand (Barry Allen x Reader) [11 May 2017]

Long Awaited (Barry Allen x Reader) [11 July 2017]

Treasure Hunt (Barry Allen x Speedster!Reader) [14 February 2018]

DC Comics/Suicide Squad

Crazy (Joker) [14 November 2016]

DC/Justice League

In a Flash (Barry Allen x Reader) [21 December 2017]

Disney/ Beauty and The Beast

Late Night Tea (Mrs. Potts) [01 May 2017]

Doctor Who

Forgive Me (No ship) [02 October 2016]

Goodbye Doctor (10th Doctor x Reader) [08 June 2017]

Lives Saved (12th Doctor x Clara) [04 October 2017]

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Distant Protection (Credence Barebone x Reader) [02 January 2017]

Careful Healing (Newt Scamander x Reader) [06 January 2017]

Obliviate (Credence Barebone x Reader, Percival Graves) [13 January 2017]

Thieving Bugger (Newt Scamander x Reader) [23 January 2017]

Glee

I Dreamed a Dream (Kurt Hummel) [30 March 2017]

Warbler Revealed (Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson) [17 May 2017]

Seasons of Love (Artie Abrams x Reader) [01 December 2017]

Kingsman

Undercover (TequilaxReader (Vodka)) [30 January 2018

Magcon

The Christmas Song (Matthew Espinosa x Reader) [18 December 2016]

Marvel

Civil Daughter (Steve Rogers x Tony Stark’s Daughter/Reader) [08 August 2016]

Civil Daughter Part 2 (Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader)

Nightmares (Bucky Barnes x Reader) [06 November 2016]

Healing the Warrior (Bucky Barnes x Reader) [31 January 2017]

Titanic Tuition (Tony Stark, Intern!Reader) [09 February 2017]

Arrangements Part One (T’Challa x POC Reader) [23 February 2017]

Arrangements Part Two (T’Challa x POC Reader) [14 February 2018]

The Red Dress (Sam Wilson x Reader) [25 April 2017]

Six Weeks (Steve Rogers x Reader) [22 May 2017]

Going With Ego (Peter Quill) [30 May 2017]

Long Day (Bucky Barnes x Reader) [22 June 2017]

It’s Really You (Wade Wilson, Sister Reader, Francis Freeman/Ajax, Angel) [27 November 2017]

Asgard and Beyond (Loki x Tony’s Daughter!Reader, Thor, etc) [04 January 2018]

Asgard and Beyond Pt 2 (Tony’s Daughter!Reader, Tony Stark, Loki) [25 January 2018]

Pull Through (Tony’s Daughter!Reader, Loki, Tony Stark, etc) [23 January 2018]

The Maze Runner

I Will Find You (Gally x Reader) [03 October 2016]

Protect Me (Newt x Reader) [07 November 2016]

Don’t Forget (Newt x Reader) [07 January 2017]

Once Upon A Time

Let Me Go (Peter Pan x Reader) [02 October 2016]

I’m Still Here (Captain Hook/Killian Jones x Reader) [18 December 2017]

Power Rangers

Purple Ranger [18 May 2017]

Riverdale

Home at Last (Jughead Jones x Reader) [28 March 2017]

Home at Last Part 2 (Jughead Jones x Reader) [24 April 2017]

To Date or Not To Date (Jughead Jones x Reader) [04 December 2017]

Lost Hero (Jason Blossom, Reggie Mantle) [26 December 2017]

A Series Of Unfortunate Events

No Harm Done (Klaus Baudelaire x Reader) [17 March 2017]

Shameless US

Little Sister (Gallagher!Reader) [08 December 2016]

Star Wars

Extraordinary Asset Pt 1 (General Hux x Reader) [23 January 2017]

Extraordinary Assets Pt 2 (General Hux x Reader) [14 February 2018]

Follow the Orders (Kylo Ren x Reader, General Hux) [06 January 2017]

The Unfaithful and the Betrayed (General Hux x Reader) [24 January 2017]

Abandoning the Order (General Hux x Reader, Princess Leia) [28 September 2017]

Supernatural

Demon’s Blood (Dean Winchester) [03 May 2016]

Costco (Destiel/Dean x Castiel) [11 August 2016]

Car Troubles (Dean Winchester x Impala!Reader) [03 October 2016]

Find Her (Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel) [10 November 2016]

Find Her REWRITE (Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Lucifer) [22 October 2017]

Missed You (Demon!Sam Winchester x Reader) [23 December 2016]

Christmas Time, Tinsel Time (Lucifer x Reader) [26 December 2016]

Opportunity (Dean Winchester x Reader) [12 January 2017]

Uninvited Calling (Dean Winchester x POC Reader) [16 February 2017]

Thanks for Nothing (Dean Winchester x Reader) [19 June 2017]

Little Kisses (Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean, Castiel) [08 August 2017]

You’re Not Dean (Shapeshifter!Dean x Reader, Dean Winchester x Reader, Sam Winchester) [28 November 2017]

Under the Mistletoe (Dean Winchester x Reader)[06 December 2017]

Teen Wolf

All is Fair in Love and War (Stiles Stilinski x Reader) [14 November 2015]

Emma (Stiles Stilinski x Reader) [05 April 2016]

I’m Not Very Good At Writing (Isaac Lahey x Reader) [08 August 2016]

Boys And Girls (Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski, Bisexual!Reader)[18 October 2016]

Sign Me A Hello (Stiles Stilinski x Deaf!Reader) [21 December 2016]

Wake Up (Reader and Scott’s Pack) [23 December 2016]

It’s Okay (Stiles Stilinski x Reader) [30 December 2016]

Remembrance (Resurrected!Allison Argent x Female!Reader) [03 February 2017]

Werewolf Secrets (Isaac Lahey x Stiles’ twin sister Reader) [10 February 2017]

French Whispers (Isaac Lahey x Werewolf!Reader)[14 February 2017]

Just a Batch (Scott McCall x Reader) [14 February 2017]

Badboy (Theo Raeken x Plus Size Reader) [18 Aprill 2017]

The Thinning (Isaac Lahey x Reader) [27 April 2017]

My Sunshine (Liam Dunbar x Reader) [23 May 2017]

Stiles Asks Y/N On A Date (Stiles Stilinski x Reader) [03 October 2017]{Preference}

I’ll Still Be Here/You’re Not A Bad Guy (Aiden and Ethan, Sister Reader, Derek Hale, Nogitsune/Void Stiles, Chris Argent) [07 November 2017]

I Need You Idiot (Cora Hale x Brett Talbot, Derek Hale) [09 November 2017]

Confessions (Scott McCall x Reader) [14 February 2018]

We’re Still Young (Stiles Stilinski x Reader) [14 February 2018]

The Vampire Diaries

Make Me (Stefan Salvatore x Reader) [20 January 2017]

The Walking Dead

Suspicions (Negan x Reader, Dwight) [19 July 2017]

Taken Away/Last Day (Pregnant!Reader, Rick, Negan, Carl) [18 September 2017]

He Saved Me (Grimes!Reader, Negan, Simon, Rick Grimes, Carl Grimes)

X-Men

Closest to the Darkness (Alex Summers x Reader, Peter Maximoff x Reader) [16 January 2017]

Dreaming the Illusion (Charles Xavier) [26 January 2017]

Safe Winters (Logan Howlett x Reader) [22 May 2017]

Youtube

Sleepy Stream (Markiplier x Reader) [03 April 2017]

Crossovers

Secrets from Space {Doctor Who, Arrow} (Oliver Queen, 11th Doctor, Felicity Smoak) [1 February 2017]

Headcanons

13 Reasons Why

Having a Child with Jeff Atkins [29 September 2017]

Dating Justin Foley and Being a Werewolf [12 December 2017]

Baby Driver

Being Baby’s Significant Other [27 September 2017]

It (2017)

Dating Bill Denbrough [05 November 2017]

Marvel

Having a Child with Tony Stark [14 February 2017]

Working Out with Steve [25 May 2017]

Supernatural

New Years Eve with the Winchesters [31 December 2016]

Dating Crowley [07 January 2017] (Posted this at like midnight)

Having A Child with Dean Winchester [27 January 2017]

Teen Wolf

If Isaac Stayed and Decided to Date Malia [13 January 2017]

Lydia Being Your Maid of Honor [13 January 2017]

Scott McCall taking care of you while you’re sick [23 January 2017]

Being Malia’s Best Friend and Being A Werewolf [21 October 2017]

#cassiefanfic #masterlist

161 notes · View notes

iateyourfav · 2 months

Text

Beastification - Chapter 2

Mr Beast engages in his first actual conversation with the batch, resulting in a variety of reactions from each of the clones.

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, crack taken seriously

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, braindead Mr Beast, Mr Beast talks to an invisible camera, lore breaking content

Words: 1117

Will update on Wednesdays and Sundays

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | ...

Read on ao3

„WHO?“

„MR BEAST (born May 7, 1998), more commonly known as MrBeast, is an American YouTuber. He is known for his expensive stunts and philanthropy.[1] He is the second most subscribed creator, on youtube, second only to T-Series. He has been seen as the creator of a new genre of YouTube videos that are expensive stunts.[2]“ Omega said this as if she‘d learned this information like a poem. She probably did.

Everyone turned around to the man they just rescued from Jabba‘s slimey grasp. He gave them a small smile and said: „Hey Everyone, it‘s Mr Beast..“ he seemed shy, obviously blushing. His cheek color now almost matching Wreckers.

“I‘ve never heard that name before.“ Hunter responded after thinking about Omega‘s description for a second. But Wrecker did. He heard that name before, though he couldn‘t exactly place where. Mr Beast. He felt like lightning was shooting through him, creating an urge to protect the man he just rescued. Something connected them, he felt it. He couldn‘t tell why and he couldn‘t even say if he cared for an explanation.

He was too distracted thinking about what just happened to notice Hunter talking to him. „Wrecker, take his handcuffs off.“ „Oh, sorry.“ He took them off and put them in his pocket. He heard Mr Beast release a sigh, indicating relief, along with another „Thank you“ he, again, wasn‘t able to vocalize a response to.

“Mr Beast, I love your videos!“ Omega began running towards the man. „Careful Omega, we don‘t know if he‘s dangerous or not.“ Hunter warned, not wanting Omega to get hurt.

“He‘s not dangerous, he just locks people in houses and exposes them to their biggest fears for money!“ she reached the newly liberated hostage, smiling up at him „My favorite are your Squid Game videos!“ Everyone looked a little bit confused at this point, but intrigued at the same time. The stunning man made them curious. What did he do to get locked up and held prisoner in Jabba's Palace?

“What did you do to end up here?“ Tech was the first to speak to Mr Beast directly.

„I CHALLENGED JABBA THE HUTT FOR AUTHORITY!!!! I STOLE his NEWBORN CHILD !! If he got it back, he would’ve won 20,000 CREDITS, and if I would‘ve won, I would‘ve raised his child as ONE OF MY OWN!“

Omega seemed visibly excited at this idea. Wrecker was in awe. He‘s never heard a voice this soothing before. Hearing Mr Beast's voice felt like an angel touching his ears. He felt instantly at peace.

„You stole Jabba's newborn child?“ Echo looked at Mr Beast like he was insane. But was this plan really that crazy? Why not steal Jabba the Hutt's child and challenge him for authority? What spoke against it, really?

But what stood out most to Wrecker was Mr Beast's seemingly maternal urges to raise Jabba‘s child. Motherhood seemed to fit Mr Beast perfectly. Knock that thought out of your head Wrecker thought.

“Alright Mr Beast, I don‘t really know what’s going on with you but we gotta get you back to Cids. Get on the ship.“ Hunter's suspicion about the man lessened, the feeling now being replaced with confusion. What was going on with this man? Cid better pay them double for this mission.

They finally got him on the ship after he got done telling them something about NordVPN, whatever that was supposed to mean. Mr Beast was now talking to Omega in the back of the ship, telling her about the candy bars he wanted to sell her, while the rest of the batch gathered in the cockpit to discuss this person they brought onto their ship.

“He‘s a creep. He‘s talking complete nonsense all the time. Do you think he‘s actually insane?“ Echo was clearly not impressed with their new passenger.

Wrecker did not like Echo talking about Mr Beast like this. He felt protective of the god-like creature he just met a few moments ago. He was fearless and crazier than him. He was his Queen and god help anyone who dared to disrespect his Queen.

“Hey, we don‘t know him that well yet. And the kid likes him, so I don‘t have a problem with him.“ Wrecker defended Mr Beast, hoping nobody noticed his blushing cheeks.

„Yet? I hope we never see that man again after we hand him over to Cid.“ Echo snapped back. Hunter stayed quiet, deep in thought. Mr Beast wasn‘t acting like anyone else he‘d ever met before. His clear, loud voice; his gestures, the way his arms flung when he explained his plan to steal Jabba‘s baby; the way he talked like he was speaking to someone suffering from loss of hearing. He didn‘t know how to feel about him.

He watched him talk to Omega. She, at least, seemed certain that she liked him. It doesn‘t matter what we think of him, Hunter thought, he’s gonna be gone as quick as he came when we hand him over to Cid. He secretly hoped he‘d never see him again, so his head would stop centerning all of his thoughts around him.

What happened now, he didn‘t expect though. Hunter noticed Wrecker making his way towards the back of the ship. He looked uncomfortable, maybe nervous? But certain. Was he trying to make conversation with Mr Beast?

“What is he doing?“ Echo seemed to have noticed what Wrecker was trying to do, as well. Tech glanced towards the back too, though seemingly not caring enough to comment on what was going on.

“H-Hey“ Wrecker tried his hardest to get the words he wanted to say, to actually leave his mouth. Mr Beast looked up at him with his sparkling blue eyes, taking his breath away. „I- I just wanted to ask if you were okay, because you were locked up in Jabba‘s Palace and stuff like that.“ He looked at his feet the entire time he talked, escaping Mr Beast's eye contact, because Wrecker wasn‘t sure how long he could withstand this man's look.

“I‘M FINE! Just A LITTLE BIT annoyed that I couldn‘t get away with another CHILD ABDUCTION!“ Wrecker internally swooned at Mr Beast's beautiful voice, he wasn‘t sure he could ever get enough of hearing it. That’s when he noticed he was staring just a little bit too much. „Something wrong, Wrecker?“ Omega asked him, with a smile on her face, obviously happy her brother wanted to get to know her idol.

Wrecker searched his mind for a topic he overheard Mr Beast talking about in the time span between the rescue and now, in order to keep the conversation going.

“So, what’s this Squid Game thing about?“

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iateyourfav · 2 months

Text

Beastification - Chapter 3

The batch brings Mr Beast back to Ord Mantell and Cid makes a curious request.

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, crack taken seriously

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, braindead Mr Beast, Mr Beast talks to an invisible camera, lore breaking content

Words: 1344

Will update on Wednesdays and Sundays

... | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Read on ao3

They finally reached Ord Mantell. Most of the journey was spent with Omega and Wrecker talking to Mr Beast about Squid Game. It seemed nobody except Omega understood what Mr Beast was actually talking about, but everybody listened. Wrecker obviously pretended he knew what the rescued man was talking about, and it seemed everybody except Mr Beast noticed this.

“Let’s deliver him to CId as fast as possible. I can‘t bear hearing another sentence about cutting out cookies.“ Echo seemed to be hanging on to his sanity by a thread. They had now left the ship and were well on their way to Cid‘s Parlour. „I can not tell what it is but something about him intrigues me.“ Tech spoke up. „His mind seems to be working differently from any creature I have seen before.“

„Yeah, there’s something about him.“ Hunter agreed. „I don’t like him. I‘m not even sure he has a soul.“ Echo stated. Hunter and Tech looked at him, then at each other. Maybe he was right.

“Ah, there you finally are. About time, if you ask me.“ Cid seemed to have been waiting for them for quite a while. Her glance caught Mr Beast walking in next to Omega, still talking about how Squid Game. „Mr, there you finally are! Come on, let's talk about payment.“ They left the batch behind in the Parlour to talk in Cid‘s office.

„Why‘d she call him that?“ Wrecker questioned, looking at his brothers. Omega slightly hit his arm to get his attention. „Hey, I told you before! That’s his name! His first name is Mr and his last name is Beast.“ The girl seemed incredibly proud to know this niche information about the man they just rescued.

Echo looked at her as if he thought he was about to lose his sister to a lethal illness. „She‘s right. I looked him up, apparently ever since he appeared on the radar, he’s been working with bounty hunters to abduct targets so they would get jobs to get those targets back. And he seems to not accept compensation for this work. That’s why Jabba held him prisoner, that’s why he kidnapped his offspring.The Empire is looking for him.“ Tech explained, not looking up from his datapad.

That last sentence made Wrecker feel worried. How could this fragile, delicate young man run from the Empire by himself? His delusional nature made Wrecker feel scared for his safety.

Hunter could sense Wreckers anxiety, not just from him obviously being close to tears, but first and foremost from the intense amount of sweat he was producing. „Wrecker, calm down, he’s gonna be fine.“

This was Echo's last straw. „You‘re actually worried about him? I‘m happy to never have to look into his empty, soulless eyes ever again!“ he snapped. Wrecker's mood turned from worried to aggravated. „Hey, how dare you say that! He has the most beautiful, sparky eyes I have ever seen!“ he yelled, pushing Echo back on his shoulder, trying his hardest to not inflict more damage, He needed to defend Mr.

Echo pushed him back „That’s not his eyes sparkling, that‘s the back of his skull because there‘s obviously no brain living in there.“

„Snap out of it, you‘re scaring the kid!“ Hunter tried to defuse the conflict, Omega hiding behind him, not wanting to watch her brothers fight over her favorite video creator. They stepped away from each other after seeing the scared look on Omegas face. Wrecker knelt down to her.

“I‘m sorry, kid. I don‘t know what got into me. I just felt like I had to protect him, dunno why.“ His gaze sank to the floor, defeated. „I know why.“ Omega put her hand on his shoulder to comfort her big brother. „You like him, I get it. But I think you like him in a different way than I do.“, Omega tried to cheer him up.

This made Wrecker incredibly flustered. He had already figured out he was probably developing a little crush on Mr Beast, but he didn’t want his brothers to know about that, especially considering he wasn‘t even sure about his own feelings yet. They had just met shortly before.

Wrecker blushed, tried to defend himself. „I-It‘s not like that. I just thought what he was talking about on the Marauder was interesting…“ „Wrecker, you clearly did not know what he was talking about then.“ Tech shot down the excuse immediately. „You clearly care for him.“

Omega, who still had her hand on Wreckers shoulder, pushed him back a little to get his attention back to her. „Come on, you have to tell him!“ She was beaming. Wreckers blush deepened. „I-I can‘t do that. He‘ll think I’m weird.“

Echo stepped back into the conversation.“You think HE thinks YOU‘RE weird? I‘ll be honest, I‘m not even sure if he can form a coherent thought in the first place.“ Wrecker looked at him like he was gonna give him a good ass whooping. He didn’t follow through on that though, not wanting to scare Omega again, who now spoke back up, wanting to help Wrecker process his crush.

You can do it, Wrecker. Just tell him what you like about him… What do you like about him?“ Now everyone curiously eyed Wrecker. What did he like about him?

“I like the way he‘s so passionate about his work. I like that he’s good with kids. I think the kid he stole from Jabba didn‘t even scream when he ran away with it. I like that Squid Game thing he keeps talking about, even though I still can‘t really tell what it means. And I like his eyes.“ Every sentence Wrecker spoke widened his smile.

„You like my smile?“ The batch turned around to see Mr Beast leaning against the doorframe that led to Cid‘s office, a warm smile directed towards Wrecker.

Oh oh. Wrecker felt like he was going to explode from embarrassment. This was not the time or way for Mr Beast to find out about his crush on him. What was he going to do now? “Oh, that's not- '' Wrecker tried to defend himself.

“If YOU NOW AGREE to face your BIGGEST FEAR for a video, I will give you ONE OF MY EYES! And if you DO IT IN SQUID GAME I might give you BOTH OF MY EYES !!” Mr threw his hands around while talking like he was a game show host. Did he think he was getting filmed?

The room went quiet after this sentence. Was actually serious about handing over his eyes to Wrecker? “He’s psychotic.” Echo half whispered towards Tech, he honestly did not really care if Mr Beast heard what he was saying because it probably went over his air-head anyways. Tech just nodded to signal acknowledgement as he was busy with his datapad.

Wrecker felt tears form in the corner of his eyes. Mr Beast was so giving, so selfless that he even offered his own eyes to him for the small request to see him dangling from a rope somewhere high above the ground with no land below in sight. Omega smiled at him. “He’s amazing, right?”

Wrecker stood up again, more confident now. “Maybe some other time Mr, I’m not ready to jump right now.” The confused looks from his brothers now wandered from Mr Beast to Wrecker. Was he going insane too?

That’s when Cid reentered the room as well. “We have a problem. Mr doesn’t seem to remember anything before getting captured by Jabba. He’s as vulnerable as a baby. You think you can take him under your wings for a while?” Echo’s jaw dropped to the floor. He felt like this was a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. He glanced over to Mr Beast, who was now talking to himself about finding a new sponsor for the video where he wanted to give Wrecker his eyeballs.

“This is a joke, right?” Echo asked Cid, arms crossed at this offense of a request. Hunter stepped in. “What would you pay us for it?”

17 notes · View notes

iateyourfav · 1 month

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No Beastification Chapter today bc school :(

Take this visualisation of Chapter 5 as a peace offering instead:

Masterlist

I‘m very proud of this ok

#the bad batch fanfiction #crack #crack crossover #mr beast #eric cartman #mr beast x the bad batch #crack fic #fanfic #fanart

8 notes · View notes

iateyourfav · 1 month

Text

Beastification - Chapter 5

Mr Beasts first mission with the bad batch goes as weirdly as you would expect.

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, crack taken seriously

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, braindead Mr Beast, Mr Beast talks to an invisible camera, lore breaking content, Eric Cartman, Mr Beast getting punched in the nuts

Words: 2179

Will update on Wednesdays and Sundays

... | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Read on ao3

After a little argument about Echo requesting to leave Mr Beast somewhere on an uninhabited planet and Wrecker, in response, almost knocking his soul out of his body, before being stopped by Hunter stepping between the two of them, the batch plus Mr Beast gathered on the Marauder to leave for their job.

While Echo, Tech and Hunter stayed in the cockpit of the ship, Wrecker, Omega and Mr Beast stayed in the back, talking about how he apparently shot 500,000 credits with multiple tanks, for whatever reason. The fact that Omega and Wrecker actually believed that story drove Echo further into insanity.

They were headed towards Kessel, where Mr Beast had apparently brought the child that they were supposed to rescue. Everyone seemed surprised Mr Beast even remembered the coordinates, considering his constant state of delusion. He explained on their way to the ship that he had left the kid in a cave with enough rations and water to survive a couple of days. He had left it there about two weeks ago.

He told them not to worry about the kid's condition, as he had taught the child how to hunt its own food before he left and challenged it to stay near the cave, promising a ton of money for surviving the challenge. Money he obviously didn’t have.

„Let’s hope he didn‘t actually leave the kid to die.“ Echo commented. He uttered this same sentiment for about the seventh time now since the start of their journey. „Don‘t worry, Echo. If he sabotages the mission even in the slightest, we‘re leaving him on Kessel.“ Hunter tried to calm the former ARC trooper down.

“I don‘t think that would be a wise decision.“ Tech spoke up, while getting the Marauder ready to leave hyperspace. „He may be valuable. I have yet to analyze it in detail, but his altered thought process could proof useful to us, if not only as blackmail material against Cid.“ Hunter let his gaze wander towards the back of the ship, where Mr Beast was, once again, talking to an invisible camera about his affiliate link below, while Wrecker and Omega watched him, almost hypnotized.

“Mr Beast,“ Hunter called out, trying to move Mr‘s focus from his imaginary ad read onto him. „How easy is it to reach the kid.“

“I WOULD have normally hidden him way better, but he said he was SCARED OF THE DARK! So, I left him more towards the entrance of the cave. Additionally, THE CLOSER HE GETS TO BEING KILLED BY WILD ANIMALS, THE MORE MONEY HE GETS!!“

Nobody commented, either from not knowing how to respond, or from hoping that ignoring Mr Beast would shut him up (Echo). And it stayed this quiet, until they reached the surface of the planet. They landed not far away from the cave, which was hidden sufficiently by the trees and bushes growing near it.

They entered the cave, cautious. They didn‘t want to scare the target away, but they, of course, also considered the possibility that someone or something may have gotten to the kid faster than they did. The cave looked empty, but someone definitely had set up camp here, considering the leftover ashes from a campfire at the entrance of the cave. Hunter knelt down to the ashes, grabbing some of them, hoping to get a trace leading to the kid, while the others either looked around the entrance for clues or were on the lookout just outside the cave.

“The kid went further into the cave, probably because of a storm that happened. Wrecker, Omega, Mr Beast, you stay here. Watch out for anyone coming this way. I don‘t think we‘re the only ones looking for this kid, considering how Mr explained his ‚job‘. Tech, Echo, come with me.“

Wrecker didn‘t protest against spending more time with Mr Beast, even if they didn‘t really speak to each other, just being in his presence made Wrecker feel at ease.

Mr Beast sat down with Omega at the abandoned campfire while Wrecker stood a little outside the cage, facing the forest, looking for potential intruders.

“And then I LOCKED TWO STRANGERS inside a room for 100 DAYS!!! Of course, I tempted them with different things to LEAVE THE ROOM EARLY, to make them LOSE THEIR MONEY!! But they didn’t, so I had to give the money to them anyways.“ Omega looked up at Mr Beast, with sparkling eyes. „I loved that video. When are you gonna release your next one? Will I be in it?“ „I‘M CONSTANTLY RECORDING! Can‘t you tell? But I can‘t seem to reach my editor.“ His voice was laced with disappointment. Wrecker wanted to comfort him, make him feel less lonely and more accepted in the group. He was part of the squad, too, now.

Then, something ripped Wrecker away from his thoughts. A bush rustled, not too far away from them. Wrecker aimed his gun towards the origin of the noise. „Who’s there?“ he asked, in a warning tone. Another rustle, from the opposite direction now. Omega stood up, running to Wrecker. „What was that?“ Her voice gave away the fact that she was obviously scared. She hid behind him, her head peeking out just enough to be able to still look into the forest. Another rustle, the source of the noise being the bush closest to them, this time around. With shaky hands, Omega pulled out her bow. She was so focused on Mr Beast's story just a moment ago, that she didn‘t feel ready to fight all of a sudden.

A figure stepped out behind the bush. Fully hidden behind layers of robes and a helmet, with his arms up to not get shot immediately. The robed person walked towards them, confidently, with slow steps „How‘d you get here?“ it asked. The tone of its voice suggesting a male figure beneath the layers of metal and fabric. „Could ask you the same question.“ Wrecker spit back, gun still pointed at the intruder. „What do you want here?“ he questioned.

„I‘m here for the kid.“ the stranger replied. Wrecker pushed Omega a little more behind himself, shielding her, as if out of instinct.

“Not that kid, idiot. The one in the cave.” The stranger mocked, nodding towards the cave entrance. That’s when his tone in voice changed, from condescending to enraged. “You.”

Omega tried to follow the man’s gaze. It was clear that he was looking at something further behind her. Mr Beast. „What are you doing here.“ the stranger spit towards him.

While Wrecker and Omega looked puzzled, Mr Beast looked like someone just asked him where the milk aisle was, instead of a Bounty Hunter recognizing him in the middle of the woods.

“Are YOU one of my FANS?“ Mr Beast responded, casually. „Have YOU heard of my NEW FLAVORS for my CANDYBARS yet???? NOW FOR SALE!!“ The bounty hunters' stance got more defensive. „I thought I‘d have more time before I‘d have to deal with you.“

Wrecker and Omega looked at each other. What was this stranger's business with Mr Beast? „I guess I have to kill you earlier than I planned to.“ With this sentence, he reached for the gun in his holster. This enraged Wrecker. „Don‘t even try it.“ Omega aimed her bow at the stranger as well now, ready to defend Mr Beast at any cost.

Luckily, at this moment, Hunter, Echo and Tech reappeared beside them, with the kid they were looking for, not far behind them. Now, there were five weapons pointed at the stranger.

“I know when a situation‘s not looking good for me.“ the stranger commented, before slowly stepping back and disappearing back into the woods.

“What happened here? Who was that?“ Hunter asked after lowering his gun, the question mostly directed at Mr Beast. Wrecker replied: „We don‘t know, he just suddenly appeared from the bushes. He said he was looking for the kid, too. Then he got aggressive towards Mr. Seemed to know him.“

Hunter turned fully towards Mr Beast now, singling him out with his question. „Who was that?“

Mr Beast stood up with the smoothest of movements, hips swaying in the process. His voice boomed through the cave. „I DON‘T know.“ he said with the brightest smile on his face, his eyes resting on Hunter, who was not sure if Mr Beast was actually looking at him or through him, with his big, empty pupils.

“Let’s just hope he won’t come back.” Omega spoke, ripping Hunter’s attention away from Mr Beast’s big blue eyes. “Right. We should get back to the ship and leave. We got the kid.” Everyone turned around to look at the child they just rescued from somewhere deep in the cave. Omega made her way towards the kid with a friendly gesture, holding out her hand to him. “What’s your name?“

“Eric Cartman.“ The very round kid answered. „He hid in the cage for approximately five days, though he seems far from showing any symptoms of malnutrition.“ Tech stated. Cartman replied, obviously aggravated: „I‘m not fat, I‘m festively plump.“

Beast saw an opportunity in this statement. „IF you eat THAT TREE OVER THERE, right now I WILL GIVE YOU 50,000 CREDITS !“ he offered, demanding the attention back to himself. Wrecker looked at him in adoration. He was so motivated and giving. Echo was looking into nothingness, with a thousand yard stare on his face.

Cartman now took a closer look at Mr Beast, stepping towards him. „Hey, I know you! You‘re the fucking idiot that put me in this cage!“ With his eyebrows furrowed, he leaned in closer to him „How dare you even come back here, I ate nothing but dirt for days!“

“I THOUGHT, a more PLANT BASED NUTRITION would be GOOD FOR YOU!“ Mr Beast argued, seemingly not worried about the circular kid before him wanting to hurt him.

„Take that back, asshole. I‘ll shove that invisible camera you’re always talking to right up your ass.“ Omega stepped in between them, trying to defuse the impending argument. „Stop it, you guys! No need to fight.“ Cartman stopped himself for a minute, putting a hand on Omega's shoulder. „The only way to fight hate, is with more hate.“ He stated, before swiftly moving Omega to the side and punching Mr Beast where the light doesn‘t reach. „YOU BETTER GET ME THAT FUCKING MONEY YOU PROMISED.“

Mr Beast fell to the floor, cowering into the fetus position. A collective groan could be heard echoing throughout the cave as the batch empathized with Mr Beast's injury.

“I don’t think he‘s gonna be able to get up any time soon.“ Hunter observed, being the first one to regain his composure. „Wrecker, carry him back.“

Wrecker froze for a moment. The thought of throwing Mr Beast over his shoulder and carrying him back all the way to the Marauder made him blush „O-Okay.“ was all he managed to respond. He tried to ban the scenarios of Mr Beast thanking him for carrying him back to ship from his head, failing miserably. He shook his head, trying to gain back a clear mind.

He picked up Mr Beast from the cave ground. He was even lighter than he expected, so frail and fragile. His face looked beautiful, the expression of pain he gained from getting punched in the balls, now exchanged for a neutral, sleeping one. He passed out from the pain, though he looked so at peace. Eyes closed, his long lashes resting on his cheeks, with his eyebrows in a neutral position and his lips slightly agape. It took Wrecker more mental strength, to take his eyes off Mr Beast's face, than he wanted to admit.

With Cartman, who was now handcuffed, to avoid him punching any more testicles, they made their way through the jungle, back to the ship.

Mr Beast was asleep the entire way back to Ord Mantell, meaning the journey back was relatively quiet. He was laying with his head on Wreckers lap, who was sitting on one of the bunks. Cartman sat in the back of the ship, still handcuffed, silent for most of the time, except when he tried to persuade Omega to free him.

Mr woke up with the ship reaching the planet's surface. His eyes fluttered open, Wrecker being the first thing in his field of vision. „What happened?“ he asked, voice much quieter than usual. „Cartman may have castrated you.“ Tech answered, who was on his way to leave the ship, eyes fixed on his datapad.

Mr Beast blushed. He was embarrassed about everyone witnessing him getting punched, so he tried to change the subject. „Did you carry me all the way back? Thank you.“ he gave Wrecker a small smile, melting his heart just a little bit more. „I-It was no problem. It‘s not like you were that heavy or anything.“ Wrecker said, trying to avoid Mr Beast's inviting gaze.

“Unlike this guy.“ Echo complained, desperately trying to shove Cartman out of the ship. „Come on, let‘s get this kid back to Cid.“

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iateyourfav · 2 months

Text

Beastification - Chapter 4

The bad batch argues if they should take Mr Beast with them or leave him behind

The Bad Batch x Mr Beast

Tags: sfw, Crack fic, slow burn, Mr Beast AU, crack taken seriously

CW: the y/nification of Mr Beast, mentions of child abduction, braindead Mr Beast, Mr Beast talks to an invisible camera, lore breaking content

Words: 1213

Will updated on Wednesdays and Sundays

... | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | ...

Read on ao3

Cid and Hunter retreated to Cid’s office to discuss the details of letting Mr Beast tag along.

„Look, I know he can be a bit annoying but I got a soft spot for the guy. He suddenly appeared here a while ago and I felt like I just had to take him in. I don‘t know what it is, but there’s something about him that got to me. He can’t stay here, the Empire would figure it out with him screaming around with that booming voice all the time.“

Hunter couldn’t believe he was actually considering this, but he understood what Cid meant when she said there‘s something about Mr Beast. Just his mere presence in a room created the urge to stay close to him and take care of him, it felt like mind manipulation.

“If you take him with you, I‘ll let go of your debts, and I might stop adding some things to your bill. See it as child support.“ Cid tried to bribe. „And I want to see him once a month.“

Hunter furrowed his eyebrows. Being able to leave their debts behind would be huge for them. He couldn’t make this decision on his own, though. He needed to talk to his brothers about this.

—————————

„You can‘t be serious.“ Echo reacted as expected. And so did Omega, who was smiling from ear to ear at adding her favorite video creator to her family, at least for a while. Tech and Wreckers reactions weren‘t as easy to read though, both looking like they were deep in thought.

Wrecker felt torn. On one side, he felt ecstatic at the thought of having Mr Beast around for the long run. Having the chance to get to know him better, maybe finding out what exactly it is that makes him feel so incredibly attracted to the man. On the other hand, if he was with them on jobs, he would definitely get distracted a lot more. As well as him not being sure if he could handle himself being locked in a space and as small as the Marauder with Mr Beast for extended periods of time.

Then, Tech spoke up: „I think Cid knows more about Mr Beast than she lets on. It doesn‘t make sense for her to care about Mr Beast this much. We should take him with us. Cid offering to forget about our debts is too beneficial to just let go. Besides, he seems rather easy to take care of, he can entertain himself quite well.“

Everyone turned their heads towards Mr, who was sitting at the bar, explaining how ‚Hello Fresh‘ could make meal prep and healthy cooking so much easier, to seemingly nobody.

“If he actually has more going on than we see, I don‘t know if it‘s the best decision to let him go with us. He could get us into even more trouble than we‘re already in.“ Hunter replied. Echo added on to this, stacking negatives: „Apart from that, how could he possibly be useful to us on missions? He‘ll only be in the way.“

“From what we know about him, he seems to be pretty good at extractions?“ Omega tried to argue.

„Omega, I wouldn‘t count his weird liking of child abductions as a positive. He‘s more like a kid kleptomaniac.“ Echo shot back.

„I think we should keep him around. Tech‘s right, taking him in in exchange for clearing our debts is a pretty good offer. Besides, it would make the kid happy.“ Wrecker finally spoke up.

Hunter tried to weigh out the options. It was risky bringing someone like Mr Beast on a job, but they could just leave him on the ship while they’re gone, right? To be fair, he didn’t really seem capable of stealing their ship, seeing as he was, again, convincing some invisible person to buy his candybars. Plus, it seemed everyone, except maybe Echo, had taken some interest in him, though in different ways. While Wrecker looked at Mr Beast as if he was the most beautiful creature he ever had the pleasure to lay his eyes upon, Tech looked at him as if he wanted to dissect his brain right then and there to see what was really going on inside there. Hunter himself couldn‘t deny that Mr Beast's nature made him curious, as well. If there actually was something about him that Cid refused to tell them, he wanted to find out what it was, if just to have something to hold over Cid‘s head if she tried to threaten them again.

Of course, Omega‘s liking of the psychopath and those videos he seemingly created influenced Hunter's decision too. As well as the undeniable fact that no longer having to worry about any credits that they owed to Cid, would make their lives a lot easier.

Cid walking back into the room from her office ripped him out of his thought process. „Alright, you made a decision?“ she stood there with a smirk on her green face as if she already knew what their answer would be. And she was right about it, too.

“We‘ll take him with us. But only for a trial run, for now. One job, then we‘ll give you our final answer.“

Omega jumped in excitement, while Echo let out the most annoyed groan any of them had ever heard from him. Tech kept his neutral expression, though seemingly falling even deeper into his thoughts. Wrecker tried to contain his excitement and failed miserably when a little squeak broke through his lips that any other time only let his normally deep voice pass through.

That‘s when Mr Beast suddenly appeared right next to Hunter, a little bit too close for his liking. „HELLO EVERYBODY, IT‘S MR BEAST.“ he introduced himself, even though everyone was by this point well aware of who he was. This was met with happy clapping from Omega and an eye roll from Echo. „We know who you are.“

“Alright, now that your newest crewmember is here too, I can explain your next job to you.” Everybody listened up, except for Mr Beast who was looking like he was fighting the urge to do another ad read. “My client needs you to retrieve his kid. He woke up to an empty crib in his kids room recently and is obviously panicked, so try to be swift with it. Details are on this.” She finished her sentence by handing a datapad to Hunter. Everyone leaned in to try to get some information out of it, including Mr.

“OH, I know where that kid is!” Mr Beast said this sentence as theatrical as he did any other one, making everyone in the room feel first scared, but more importantly, confused. He was delusional enough to talk to an invisible camera but then, minutes later, knows where to find the target they are looking for from just glancing at the information Cid provided?

“How do you already know that with this small amount of information we have on the target?” Tech asked, more interested in hearing about Mr Beast's thought process than actually caring about the job itself.

Mr Beast replied, gesturing furiously with his hands and a big smile plastered on his face. “Because I took the KID!”

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