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#Oh Yeah?? Like Dipper's one to talk
tswwwit · 3 months
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Though I haven't gone into much detail about Stan and Ford in the Familiar AU, I've thought of something funny.
The Stans went on Unspecified Adventures together when they were younger men. Partners, in fact! And while I'm likely never going to get into the details of their eventual falling out - there's potential in those adventures!
Who knows. Maybe monsterfucking kinda runs in the Pines family, but not the one you'd think.
Stan chatting up a Siren, before Ford has to yank his brother back by the shirt. Wondering where the hell Stan went, only to find him partying with some nymphs in a lake and coming THIS close to being drowned. Hell, maybe when Stan describes one of his exes as a 'shrill harpy', he's being literal about it.
A twenty-something on the prowl and on the adventuring path is gonna run into SO many tempting creatures - and the number of times Ford saved Stan's dumb ass from human-ish ladies would go into the DOZENS.
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southislandwren · 9 months
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writing my scholarship thank you notes as if im not already planning on skipping the awards banquet to go see a total solar eclipse in texas lol
#'by accepting this scholarship you are agreeing to come to the scholarship banquet' or somethin i forgot the exact phrase.#but like. everyone ive talked to (minus 1 person) has been like uhhhhmmmm obviously you should go see a total solar eclipse???#so like. i know my advisor and dept secretary and lact prof will have my back during the banquet#'oh yeah hopes sick or something today. yeah couldnt come. shes definitely not in texas with her family or anything'#anyway. i gotta like learn about solar photography before april so i can at least come back from texas with something#this morning i got to see some stars which was nice. i was staring at the sky forlornly and my coworker was like you okay?#and i was like yeah.. the stars are taunting me though#they know i havent been able to go out and really see them since april. and its too light out for me to orient myself#so i dont even know who im looking at right now.#and she was like oh you cant find the big dipper? and i was like yeah pretty much.#man i love stargazing and i love space and i just wanna be nocturnal again :(#my coworker's been waking up at 3:30 this week since one of our bosses is out of town and we were talking about that#and i looked at my boss and said if you asked me to wake up at 3:30am for two weeks straight i'd probably just quit.#and i think that scared him a lil but i followed it up with i will gladly stay up until 2am watching for calves. so maybe hes not 2 scared#okay anyway. im gonna fuck around with my pride and joy. my tunes spreadsheet#diary post
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ckret2 · 4 months
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Chapter 32 of human Bill is convinced he's the best prisoner ever and does not deserve this abuse from the Pines:
Bill gets his fingernails painted! 💅🌈✨ Look at his fingernails, I drew this week's picture just to show them off. They're fun.
Bill also gets bound to a magic poppet that can control his every move.
It's hilarious for Dipper and Mabel, but not for Bill.
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The early morning still was broken by Stan's wails of despair.
At some point during the night, the egg-and-toilet-papering kids had come back to Stan's car.
And they'd brought rocks.
####
Bill woke up with a sheet tossed over him and a cupcake sitting on the window seat. The cupcake was pink with green frosting and decorated like a happy jack-o'-melon. It was sitting on top of a note:
"Sorry I didn't mention I had plans tonight! Robbie's mom made cupcakes for everyone so I grabbed you one. The music video's gonna be AMAZING! I'll show you when Robbie posts it!" Mabel had signed with a shooting star.
Bill decided he hadn't been mad at Mabel last night at all.
He battled gravity to heave himself vertical, trudged downstairs to the bathroom, stuck his face under the faucet until his mouth tasted less like sour sandpaper, agonizingly dragged himself back upstairs to his makeshift bed, and collapsed under the sheet to wait until his head stopped hammering.
####
Sprawled on the living room floor, Mabel said, "What should I draw?"
"Draw me." Bill was sitting cross-legged on the sofa, watching the news and nursing a glass of Mabel juice. In an effort to counteract the lingering queasiness from overdosing on sugar and chocolate, he'd spiked the juice with two ground-up Elderly 60+ Vitaman™ brand Man Vitamins (khaki flavor) stolen from a bottle that Ford had bought for Stan and that Stan forgot to take.
"Okay!" Mabel turned around and squinted up at Bill. "Strike a pose!"
"Not like this!" Bill shoved a hand in Mabel's face to force her to stop looking. "Draw me how I really look."
"Bill, that's illegal. Remember?" Mabel pointed at the TV. Bodacious T was reporting on a child who'd dressed up for Summerween as "that weird out-of-towner who bothered us last year, you know the one," and who, under the Never Mind All That Act, had been fined fifty pieces of candy. The child's mugshot showed his crying face, but blurred out his yellow costume.
"He'd be the coolest kid in town," Bill said, "if he wasn't such a crybaby in front of the cops. Draw me anyway."
"I don't wanna get arrested!"
"Do you see any cops?" Bill grinned. "Just don't sign your name, nobody will know it was you."
Mabel considered that. "I can sign it someone else's name." She pulled out a few crayons.
"That's what I'm talking about! Do anything you want forever and frame the innocent!"
"What do you want me to draw you doing?"
"The coolest thing you can think of."
Mabel considered that, and got to work.
The news was boring now. They were talking about the weather, and it wasn't even interesting weather. "So hey, you were gonna tell me about filming last night?"
"Oh yeah!" Mabel said. "Did I mention the part where the dead rose from their graves?"
Bill muted the TV. "And I missed it?"
Robbie had decided the cemetery at his place would be more atmospheric than the trick-or-treater-filled streets (and less likely to have their shots ruined by passersby that didn't appreciate the depth of Robbie's lyrics). It went great, until the vibrations of angsty rock-and-roll stirred the slumbering corpses and they clawed their way from their graves. It turned out Gravity Falls had been having off-and-on invasions of the undead for the past year, ever since somebody decided to reanimate every corpse in town for fun, Bill.
"You can't prove it was me, I'm not the only one who knows how to raise the dead!" Bill laughed. "Hey—you're not drawing this body, are you? You said you wouldn't."
"I'm not, I promise!"
"Then why do you keep staring at me?"
"Um."
"Let me see!"
"No! Don't ruin the surprise!" Mabel picked up a glitter pen with feathers glued to the end and waved them in Bill's face. "And no cheating with your eye-bleeding psychic magic!"
Bill smacked the pen away. "Fine! So what did you do with the zombies? Feed one of the teens to them?"
"No! I chewed like four packs of gum me and Dipper got from the weird homeless dentist and made a fake baby brain. We used it as bait to lead them into an open grave," Mabel said. "And then we realized we could use the brain to train them to do tricks! So now we have dancing zombies in the music video. They actually learned the choreography pretty easily."
"Makes sense," Bill said. "I did fill the space where their souls should be with an insatiable hunger to party."
Mabel grinned. "I thought you said they weren't your fault."
"If they're good at dancing, I'm taking credit!"
"They were pretty good—especially considering how many limbs they were missing," Mabel said. "I'll show you when Robbie's finished editing the video."
"And I'll get to see you playing a creepy ghost kid, right?"
"Yeah! We were the greatest ghosts ever! Check it out, we were like—" Mabel fixed Bill with a dead-eyed slack-jawed stare and whisper-sang, "'We're the things that you have lost. Childhood joy, dead as a ghost.'"
"Chills."
"Dipper tried so hard to get in character as a ghost that he completely zoned out for a minute! When we shook him out of it, he said he felt like he had an out-of-body experience!"
####
At his computer, Robbie clicked play on a clip of the twins standing side-by-side in front of the cemetery gate. As they sang the chorus, Dipper's face went still; and then a spectral gray form rose out of his head, still singing in sync with Mabel.
"Whoa," Robbie said. "Sick. I'm keeping that in."
####
"So, it turns out my bro is an expert method actor," Mabel boasted.
Bill thought back to Dipper drifting up and down the stairs in the middle of the night. "Yep. Sounds like he's got quite a talent."
Mabel set down her crayons and held out a paper. "Okay—what do you think?"
Bill accepted the drawing. "Am I riding on the back of a rocket ship?"
"Like a bucking bronco! See the rocket flames doing a loop?"
"Sure do. Why am I holding a fish bowl?"
"It's like a cowboy waving his hat, but, you're in space. So that's your astronaut helmet."
"It's beautiful," Bill said intensely. "It's the best thing I've ever seen."
"Aw, really? Thanks!"
"When I take over the universe, I'm rearranging the constellations to look like this."
"Don't do that, though."
"Fine, but I'm hanging it up in my throne room." Bill set down his empty glass so he could hold the picture with both hands, beaming at it as proudly as though he'd made it himself. Big change from his lukewarm reception of her house drawing yesterday. She should draw Bill more often. Being a good artist meant understanding what your audience wanted.
Unfortunately, now that she'd finished her drawing, she didn't have anything to distract her from staring at Bill. And she'd taken about as much of seeing him as she could stand. "Bill. I say this with non-judgmental love. But you look sooo terrible."
"Yeah, I know. I think I'm shaped about as nicely as a human could ask for," he pantomimed drawing a triangle in front of his torso, "but let's be real, there's only so much you can do when you're working with a human bone structure. And there's way too much neck—"
"No! Bill, your body is beautiful just the way it is, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I meant your hair looks awful."
Bill had taken a shower yesterday morning, emerged with his hair all wet and tangled, and done absolutely nothing to detangle it. And then, with it still half damp and totally disheveled, he'd shoved it under a cheap acrylic wig for the rest of the night. And then he'd fallen asleep on the floor still wearing the wig.
And now, with the wig removed, his hair looked like a bird had plucked out half a scarecrow's straw brains and made a nest out of it.
"It sure does," Bill said, with the slightly forlorn air of someone complaining about a war in a far-off country over which one had no power.
"So brush it!"
"No. Never. You can't make me."
"Why not? I thought you wanted to keep your hair all triangly!"
"Not enough to touch it. Either it'll figure out how to straighten out on its own or it won't, I'm not messing with it. I've got enough going on in my life today." By which he meant he had the last lingering traces of a hangover, which was a valid excuse to get out of all social, moral, and aesthetic obligations.
Mabel groaned in frustration. "I can't take looking at it anymore! If you won't brush it, can I?"
Bill gave her a skeptical look; but then he flung his hands out dismissively. "Sure, why not? If it bothers you so much. Have at it."
"I'll be right back!"
She got her brush from upstairs and a spray bottle from the kitchen, and directed Bill to sit on the floor so she could get on the couch behind him. After making such a fuss about brushing his hair, Bill was surprisingly well-behaved with somebody else brushing it for him. He didn't even complain when Mabel accidentally yanked on some nasty snarls a little harder than she meant to.
"I feel like a corpse getting prettied up for my funeral," Bill said. "Grooming each other is how humans bond, isn't it? This is one of your little social rituals? If all you wanted was to make sure we're still friends after you ditched me last night, you could have just asked."
Mabel shoved her foot between Bill's shoulder blades. Wise guy. She joked, "Yeah! We're bonding now! After this we're gonna paint each other's fingernails and talk about what kind of boys we like."
"I want rainbow spiral fingernails."
Mabel really should be used to this—but she still kept getting surprised that Bill was interested in the stuff she liked. And not even in a patronizing sure-I'll-play-along way. He'd turned to look at her. There was a gleam in his eyes. He really wanted rainbow spiral fingernails.
And now she wanted rainbow spiral fingernails, too. "Fine! But look forward until I finish your hair." One way or another, Mabel vowed, she would reform Bill into a proper good guy—even if she had to drag him there kicking and screaming. Fun dress-up partners were hard to find, and she couldn't afford to lose Bill.
####
Soos wandered to the living room to find somewhere to hang up his and Melody's "Best Couple Cosplay" award, but stopped in the doorway.
Bill, Mabel, and Waddles were sitting on the floor, watching some kind of cartoon psychedelic fairy princess lecture a spider on the importance of colors, with a bowl of popcorn between them. Bill and Mabel both had bright multicolor fingernails and were eating the popcorn with chopsticks to avoid touching their nails. There was more popcorn on the floor than in the bowl. Waddles had taken no such cares to avoid dragging his freshly painted hooves through the carpet. 
"Truth or dare," Bill said.
"Dare!"
"Dare you to assassinate the..." Bill trailed off. "I can't have the mayor assassinated, he runs Rainbow Club. And the sheriff and deputy invited me... There aren't a lot of public officials in this dumb town, are there?"
"I'm not killing anybody, Bill. Truth."
"Fine, coward. What's your favorite toxic fume fragrance?"
"That's easy! Gasoline!"
"Hey, mine too! At least on this planet. It smells like—you know that smell that heralds the coming of rain? Gasoline is the smell that heralds a really fun time."
"Yeah! Like going on a road trip!"
Bill paused. "Right! I was... I was definitely thinking about road trips. That's exactly what I meant."
Mabel added, "And it looks so cool when there's a little bit spilled in a parking spot—"
"The rainbow puddles! Yes! Big fan of the rainbow puddles—"
"I love parking lot rainbow puddles! It's like surprise happiness in the most boring place on the planet!"
Soos mumbled, "Girl talk," decided to hang his award up later, and left.
####
Dipper heard the bedroom door open and Mabel call, "Hey Dipper!"
"Hey." He didn't look up from his journal, where he was documenting last night's zombie adventures. "Oh, hey, bad news—Wendy said she got a text from Robbie, it sounds like all the footage from the cemetery last night is ruined?"
"Aww! What? But we worked so hard to train those zombies!"
"Yeah, it's just static. But everything we shot outside the gates is fine. I wonder if it's something supernatural that interferes with electronics?"
"Something supernatural? In the cemetery? Full of zombies? What are the odds of that!" Mabel laughed. "But heyyy, I've got some good news!"
"What?"
Mabel stuck a hairbrush full of gold hair between Dipper's face and his journal. "I got a replacement for the Bill hair sample we gave Pacifica!" She grinned and whispered, "Wanna make a poppet?"
####
It would have been really cool if the first full moon of summer vacation had come on Summerween. But the calendar gods were unkind that year, and instead, it came the next day, on June 23.
Which worked out, in the end, since it meant they didn't have any scheduling conflicts on the one night they could make a poppet.
They had the ritual space set up in their bedroom—a chalk star drawn on the floor with a black candle at each point—and the doll representing Bill—which Mabel had upgraded with button eyes and a miniature version of his favorite knit hoodie. They collected all the shed blonde strands off Mabel's hairbrush, wrapped them around the doll's neck, and tied them on. They set the doll in the center of the star; Bartholomew talked them through the ritual; the flames on the candles leaped a foot in the air, turned a pale blue, and then went out; and the binding ritual was complete. The doll was now connected to Bill Cipher.
"Weird," Bartholomew said. "Usually the flames turn black. I've never seen them turn blue before."
Dipper said, "That's not a problem, is it?"
"No, no. I've just never used the binding ritual on an alien before! I guess it works a little different!"
Dipper picked up the doll and eyed it skeptically. "Mabel, I know we said we're saving this for emergencies only, but—maybe we should test it out just to make sure it actually works?"
"I guess we should," Mabel said, grimacing. "Just—don't do anything that'd hurt him. Okay?"
Yeah, Dipper should've expected that. Whether he liked it or not, Mabel didn't just see Bill as her weird experiment in criminal rehabilitation—she saw him as her friend. He sighed. "Okay. But is it fine if we do something that would embarrass him?"
Mabel shrugged. "I don't see why not!"
####
As they crept from their room, Mabel whispered, "What if we stick him in a box and shake it up? And then tell him there was an earthquake!"
"I thought you were the one who didn't want to hurt him."
"Oh right."
Bill wasn't on his cushions under the window, so they crept downstairs. Halfway down, Dipper stopped, putting a hand on Mabel's arm. Bill was sitting at the kitchen table, chin in his hand, staring out the window.
"This is perfect," he whispered. "He's completely vulnerable. He's got his back to us, he's looking at the moonlight—even if he turns around, he won't see us because his eyes will have to readjust to the dark."
"I don't know if his eyes need to adjust," Mabel said. "Have you ever noticed he never turns the lights on when he goes into a room?"
Dipper considered that. He hadn't noticed—but now that Mabel mentioned it, Bill did have a tendency to lurk in the dark. "Well—okay, but he's still not looking at us. Let's see how this works..." He studied the doll; then turned it around and gently brushed a finger through its yarn hair.
For a moment, nothing happened; and then Bill swatted at the back of his head and looked around, as if he was trying to find what had touched him.
"I think it's working," Dipper hissed.
"Are you sure? What if there's actually a fly in the kitchen?"
Could be. "Let me see if it can control him."
"Careful—"
Dipper grabbed one of the doll's arms and tentatively lifted it.
Bill's arm shot up. He stared at it in bafflement. "Wh...?"
Mabel bit her lip. Dipper waved the doll's arm.
Bill's arm waved. After a pause, he tentatively asked, "Hello?" As if he thought maybe his arm was waving at someone and he should play along with it.
Mabel and Dipper clapped their hands over their mouths, fighting to keep their giggles quiet. Mabel elbowed Dipper, "Hey Dipper Dipper Dipper, get him to stand up, let me control his legs, I have the best idea—"
Bill knocked over his chair and had to flail his arms for balance as he abruptly jerked to his feet. He looked around, eyes wide and wild, an edge of panic to his voice as he hollered, "WHAT'S GOING ON!"
Dipper held the doll out to Mabel. "Okay hurry!" Mabel took it by the legs—
—and Bill started doing the cancan. He shrieked. "WHAT?!"
Dipper shoved his shirt over his mouth to muffle his hysterics. Mabel was letting little wheezy squeaks out through her nose. Bill's voice was almost an octave higher as he screamed, "WHEN I FIND OUT WHO'S BEHIND THIS, I'M GONNA SHRED YOU—" and they both got so close to bursting laughing out loud that they had to pause to punch each other's shoulders for self control.
Still holding one of the doll's legs up, Mabel hissed, "Dipper do you remember the bottle dance. Where they crouch down with bottles on their heads. Can we—can we get a tiny bottle for the doll—"
Bill was failing both arms to avoid falling with one foot held in the air. He grabbed the counter for balance. And then, with a grunt of effort, he wrenched his foot down and stomped it to the ground.
The doll's leg yanked out of Mabel's hand.
Dipper and Mabel fell silent, staring at the doll. They looked at each other. Mabel whispered, "It shouldn't be able to do that, right?"
They looked at Bill.
Bill's face was burning red, and he was so far past fury that his expression was perfectly blank. His eyes were huge, and round, and pointed straight at them.
They bolted up the stairs.
Bill charged after them.
They screamed in terror. They weren't loud enough to drown out Bill: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU BRATS—"
Mabel grabbed Dipper's arm. "Dipper, do something!"
"Uhh—!" He tossed the doll in the air and caught it.
They heard an alarmed yelp as Bill was launched in the air and then a crash as he landed on the stairs again.
They scrambled into their room and slammed the door. "Safe!" Mabel said.
"Yeah," Dipper said, panting for breath. "Can't get us here."
The doll's head twisted 180 degrees to stare up at them.
They yelped. Dipper tossed the doll to Mabel. Mabel held it out at arm's length, threw it in her nightstand's drawer, and slammed it. It tried to open again and she leaned against it with her full body weight. "Dipper, the duct tape! In my craft supplies!"
"Which craft supplies?!"
The tiny knocking inside the drawer was echoed by the pounding at the door, accompanied by a string of creative death threats: "—and when I'm finished the coroner won't know which corpse was which! I'll make a belt out of your spinal columns—!"
"We didn't do anything," Mabel shouted, "it wasn't our fault!" She took the duct tape from Dipper and frantically wrapped it around the night stand. Dipper added, "It was someone else! And we'll never do it again—"
Sleepy and muffled, Soos's voice drifted through the door, "Dudes? What's all the hubbub?"
Dipper and Mabel gasped, "Soos!" "Save us!"
His voice the perfect tone of righteous indignation, Bill declared, "I'm being assaulted, that's what!"
Stan's voice joined in from downstairs: "BILL! If you don't leave those kids alone I'll cave your nose in!"
"THEY'RE THE AGGRESSORS," Bill screamed, half hysterical. "They are! I'm the victim here! I'm being victimized!"
Stan shouted, "Kids, good work! Bill, you can go to—" He grumbled as he self-censored, "—sleep! Shut up and go to sleep!"
"You can go jump in the bottomless pit, Stanley Pines! I'll tear you all apart with my teeth if I have to! NOBODY in this stupid junk heap of a shack is getting any sleep until I get my—"
From just outside the attic door, Stan roared, "BILL!"
There was a dull thud as Bill leaned against their door; a lot less shouty, he quickly said, "I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed, I'm going to bed."
"That's what I thought," Stan snapped. The kids heard his footsteps retreating downstairs. Soos said, "Um... night," and his door shut. After a moment, there was the creak of footsteps retreating from the attic door.
Dipper and Mabel slowly, softly snuck across the room to the door, and pressed their ears to the crack. No sound.
They stayed there for several minutes, barely breathing, listening to the silence.
Finally, Mabel pulled away and looked at Dipper. They both nodded, and Dipper opened the door a crack to check if the coast was clear.
Bill's eye stared in. "Hey, kids!"
They yelled. Dipper tried to slam the door; but Bill had already shoved his hand through. Fingernails painted with neon colors and black spirals clawed at the doorframe. He shouldered through the gap in the door, and then he was in the room, smiling much too wide and eyes fixed on them like helicopter spotlights on two wanted criminals. There was blood on his teeth. "Wow! Playing with poppets?"
Dipper upturned his suitcase and held it up like a shield. Mabel pointed a can of spray paint at Bill's face. Bill took a step closer and they took a step back.
"Pretty advanced trick for a couple of children your age," Bill said conversationally. "Not bad, not bad at all. Heck, I'm impressed you pulled it off! Although you didn't make a very smart choice of test subject." He stomped a foot twice.
Something in the nightstand thudded twice. The twins jumped. Bill laughed at them.
Mentally cursing himself for having flinched, Dipper straightened his back and glared at Bill. "You're just mad you got jerked around like a puppet! What's the matter, Bill—you can dish it but you can't take it?" Mabel looked at Dipper like he was crazy.
Bill's indulgent smile cracked, dropping into a snarl of rage. He shifted his weight toward them. Mabel dropped into a judo stance and Dipper sucked in a breath to shout for Stan.
Before anyone could launch a full attack, Mabel took a shaky breath in, forced a nervous smile, and said, "Bill, hey..." (His eyes snapped to her face like a predator that just heard a twig snap.) "This was—just a funny prank, and we're all cool? Right?"
"Mabel," Dipper muttered. "Shhh!"
But Mabel kept looking at Bill. "Right? Buddies?" She held up her arm, showing Bill her friendship bracelet.
Bill stopped and rocked back on his heels. He gave Mabel a long, hard look—like he was seriously considering whether to accept the reality she was inventing. "Yeah. Real funny." Smiling through grit teeth, he said, "You know—it's been a while since I've had my energy strung between two vessels. I didn't even know what that experience felt like for a human! Very interesting. Educational. And it was nice to feel weightless again for a second. Even if the landing was a little rough." He licked the blood off his teeth. One of the teeth shifted. "So—thanks so much for spicing up a boring night. It's been a real blast. Hasn't it." He stared at them like he expected an answer—and possibly like he planned to strangle whoever answered first.
Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look. Dipper shook his head slightly. Mabel looked Bill in the eyes again. "Yeah! Big blast. So, you're not... mad. Right? Nobody's mad!"
Bill stared her down for a moment longer; and then said, "Sure, kid! It's all fun and games!" He forced a laugh—and then another, longer one, hahhh, like he was exhaling all his rage. And just like that, he was back to normal. "I'll admit it—for a second there, you almost got me good! Not bad at all." He held out his hand insistently. "And now the game's over, so you're gonna give me that toy so I can neutralize it. Aren't you?"
Dipper bit his lip, looking past Bill toward the stairs. He could yell for Stan; there was no way Bill could kill them before reinforcements got here—
Mabel elbowed Dipper's side and whispered, "We can't keep it."
And she was right. Now that Bill knew about the doll, he'd be spending all his time plotting how to get past them to take it, and they wouldn't have a second's peace. Either he got it now, or he got it later. Bill wouldn't rest until the doll was out of their hands.
Because he was terrified of it. Why wouldn't he be?
"Yeah," Dipper sighed. "Game over."
"I'll get it." Mabel peeled just enough duct tape off the night stand to wiggle it open a crack and try to squeeze her fingers in. Bill stretched his hand toward Mabel, and the doll stretched an arm out of the drawer. Mabel flinched in surprise, but grabbed the arm and yanked the doll free.
"Ow." Bill grabbed his shoulder and rolled it gingerly. "Careful, kid, are you trying to dislocate my arm? I don't mind popping it back in, but eventually that socket's gonna wear out."
"Sorry! It was a tight squeeze." She held the doll over Dipper's suitcase shield. "Here."
Bill snatched it from her hand. "Thanks a million, star girl." He favored them both with his most nearly-charming, far-too-wide smile. "Good night, kiddos. Have sweet dreams."
"You too," Mabel said weakly.
Bill left. Dipper shut the door. He and Mabel both heaved a sigh of relief.
From the loft over the attic, Bartholomew called, "Is he gone?"
"What are you doing up there?" Mabel asked. "Barty-mew-mew the scaredy-cat."
"I'm not fighting that guy, I'm porcelain and he's crazy."
Dipper flopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. "Welp. I'm gonna have nightmares about Bill chasing me up the stairs."
Mabel sat on her own bed. "He just wanted to terrify us. And to keep us from seeing we'd terrified him." She fingered the star beads on her friendship bracelet. "He wouldn't have hurt us, I'm sure of it."
"Wh—seriously? You don't think Bill—"
"I know! But he's changed a tiny bit! He'd hurt anyone else, but he won't hurt us," Mabel said. "Or—well, me, at least. But I think he'll leave you alone too if I'm with you!"
Dipper pushed himself up on his elbows to look at her. "If he'd caught us on the stairs, do you really think he wouldn't have tried to tear us apart?"
Mabel considered that; and then reluctantly admitted, "He wouldn't hurt me as long as he remembers he doesn't want to hurt me." 
"Yeah, well. I wouldn't count on him remembering when he's mad." Dipper slid under his covers and rolled over. "Barty, can you get the lights?"
"Sure, one second." All the lights and lamps in the room flickered ominously; and then, with a sinister pop, snapped off without being touched.
"Thanks, man."
Mabel didn't climb into bed. She was staring at her fingernails. She'd painted them the same colors as Bill's; but she'd used a black marker to draw spirals on his, and he'd drawn stars and sloppy tiger stripes on hers.  In the dark, the colors were all faded.
This time, just once, maybe she and Dipper were the bad guys. He might disagree—he'd actually been puppeted, maybe he saw this differently from Mabel—but that probably didn't make it okay to do it back to Bill just for fun. They should've saved the poppet for an emergency. And the cancan, she decided, was definitely too much.
She smoothed out her covers; then she pulled up her knees to her chest, hugged them, and stared thoughtfully down at Bill's face in the middle of her zodiac blanket.
####
In the dark and quiet of the downstairs bathroom, Bill sat cross-legged on the toilet lid. He held the doll in his cupped hands. Soon, he'd disassemble it—but not yet. Tonight, it was his tool. He shut his eyes and focused on it.
There was the thinnest thread of energy, channeled through his shed hair, connecting this doll to him. He studied the thread, feeling it in his mind, exploring it, strengthening it—until he could almost feel it tugging on him.
And then he started psychically groping for similar connections.
He set the doll on the floor, on top of the drawing Mabel had given him.
His other eyes—the billions of depictions of his face scattered across this planet—weren't meant to be used in this dimension. They were designed like windows he could peer through from the Nightmare Realm; here on Earth, he was on the wrong side of the windows to see through them. And he wouldn't be surprised if the Axolotl had somehow found a way to blindfold them on top of that—after all, he seemed to have done the same to most of Bill's other abilities.
But Bill was resourceful, he was stubborn, and he didn't have anything better to do.
He focused all his energy on trying to feel the drawing the same way he felt the doll, searching for a connection between this body and that face—and he searched, and searched, and searched.
He wasn't sure how long he tried. At least a couple of hours. Straining, straining—for nothing. His head hurt.
What was the difference? The doll was shaped like him, the drawing was shaped like him. What did the doll have that the drawing didn't?
The hair. A bit of his flesh.
Bill knelt over the picture, studying it in the dark. He opened an eye wide, wiped a fingertip across the surface of his eyeball to collect his tears, and pressed it to the drawing's eye.
He could feel a thread of energy stringing from his eye to the paper.
He climbed back on the toilet lid, shut his eyes, and focused on that thread. With an effort that threatened to split his head in two, he pried open his inner eye. And then he was staring up at his own human form from the drawing on the floor.
His body was shaking. His head was throbbing. He wobbled dizzily on the toilet; and as he saw himself topple off, his trance broke, the vision disappeared, and he blacked out. White spots burst behind his eyes.
When he next opened an eye, the room was spinning. He shut his eye. It was several minutes before he could sit up without being sick. He leaned against the wall and let the sweat on his forehead and cheek soak the old wallpaper.
The white spots he'd seen as he passed out were his distant all-seeing eyes. 
He'd done something tonight. That was good. But there was no way he was seeing through any other pictures like that. He needed something he could focus his power through, like an antenna.
He needed gold.
####
(Last chapter of the year!! If you enjoyed, I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts & comments! Thanks!)
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Note
Hii!! I absolutely love your stories!! Could you maybe write something with Paul x reader including the prompts 5 and 3 from the prompt list? Just a fun and playful interaction between the two. Something silly, cuz he's a silly little guy:)
3. What do I taste like?
5. Oh, bite me.
Ah thank you so much! I hope you'll enjoy this!💜
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The evening sky was unusually bright tonight, stars and galaxies both visible with the naked eye. I stared up at the stars, smiling as I recognised the big dipper and Orion. My head rested on Paul's chest, quite comfortably, as he played with my hair.
"What does blood taste like?"
Paul stopped, his hand stuck on some tangles. "Like blood, I guess?"
"Paul, you know what I mean. If I have a wound on my finger and I put it in my mouth, I taste metal. Don't tell me you actually have to drink metal juice to survive?"
He chuckled, leaning up a bit, resting on his elbows.
"It depends on what they've been eating."
"So if someone eats chocolate all the time, you get a chocolaty taste?"
He shrugged. "Kind of? But blood just tastes like blood. Not like when you're human."
"Is it good?"
"Wouldn't be drinking it otherwise."
He laid back down, right as I moved to sit up. I looked at him.
"You'd be dead if you didn't drink it."
"Undead, darling. Undead."
I sighed, smiling. "But what you eat does influence the taste?"
He nodded. "Worst one I ever had was when I had a meal one time that only ever ate fish?"
I pulled a face. Not just the thought of fish tasting blood was disgusting but the idea of only ever eating fish? No thanks.
"Yeah, don't drain sharks." He nodded as if he had just given me the wisdom of a man who had seen everything. Well, he probably had seen a lot, but I don't think I would consider this wisdom per se.
"A shark?"
"What? Oh you thought I was talking human?"
"Oh, bite me." I couldn't help but grin. "Asshole."
He chuckled, shaking his head. "Nah, human is pretty good. No matter the blood type."
"Good to know."
It was quiet for a moment, both of us laying down in the grass, staring up at the starcovered sky.
"What do I taste like?" I asked softly.
"I don't know."
"I'm curious."
"I mean, your kisses taste amazing - I like the bubblegum you use. But bloodwise?"
"Aren't you curious?"
He shrugged. "Maybe a little. But I know that if you change and let me be the one to do it, I'll get a taste of it anyways."
"Ah. You got it all planned out, hm?"
"Absolutely." He grinned. "You smell delicious, though, so I wouldn't worry about taste."
"Good." I grinned.
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oddzo · 2 months
Text
I’m excited to finally be able to share my drawing of my favorite Camp Camp X Gravity Falls crossover idea! :D
A long string of my thoughts regarding the crossover under the pics, you have been warned lol
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It’s crazy to me that despite all the jokes that Harrison looks like a human Bill Cipher there is absolutely no fanart (that I have found) of him interacting with any of the Pines.
Yeah there’s art of him with Bill, but the Pine’s family are the ones that have trauma from him and therefore would have the best reaction.
Just imagine them meeting the one kid that not only looks like someone possessed by Bill but also does real honest to god magic and has an affinity for fire!
With how much shit the Pine’s have dealt with it wouldn’t be a stretch for them that Bill came back as a kid. They’d probably assume Harrison was being possessed or something.
Harrison especially looks like Bipper so I’d imagine he’d be especially unsettling to Dipper and Mabel. (Probably gonna draw him and Mabel interacting next)
Dipper immediately being super suspicious of Harrison and doing that stalking thing he does to try and figure him out. Dipper seeing Harrison make a mistake with his magic that makes him not look great and Dipper just freaking out more.
Mabel being uncomfortable with Harrison but trying her hardest to be nice to him because he hasn’t actually done anything yet. Becoming friends when she realizes that Harrison is just a kid and not anything like Bill personality and morality wise.
Harrison enjoyed coloring in that one episode so she could probably get him to do art with her. They’d have so much fun with him showing her his magic tricks, he’d be so happy someone is genuinely interested. His magic would probably improve with the encouragement she would give him.
Mabel being reminded of Bipper whenever Harrison gets a bit arrogant. The thought goes away pretty quickly though cause he usually gets humbled really quickly and just accepts it lol
Ford also immediately being suspicious of Harrison but not doing anything rash yet until he can test him. Losing his shit the first time Harrison does magic in front of him.
Someone on here posted a mini fic thing where they said Ford almost dropkicked Harrison the first time he does magic and I love that (I’ll look for the post later and tag it here) Edit: here’s the link! https://www.tumblr.com/the-sprog/659871894550577153/i-just-had-an-idea-could-you-imagine-a-crossover
Stan giving Harrison the benefit of the doubt but keeping a close eye on him whenever he interacts with one of the twins. Not outright hostile to him but not exactly kind either.
Stan somehow finding out about how Harrison accidentally made his brother disappear and immediately noticing the similarities to what happened with him and Ford. He probably gains a bit of a soft spot for Harrison after and gives him pointers on random things, probably a few pep talks.
Oh also I know it’s just a difference in the two art styles but CC characters tend to have more yellow sclera and oval pupils/irises and it really doesn’t help Harrison’s case lmao
I can keep going but this post is already really long so I’ll stop for now haha 😅
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astro-b-o-y-d · 2 months
Text
Triangulum - Chapter 2- Unsettling In
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— — — — — — —
“Dibs on being the first Pines inside the Shack!”
The old floorboards creaked lightly under Mabel’s weight as she bounded through the door, pausing only to drop her bags by the staircase before she continued on towards the living room. “Aww, I’ve missed this place!” 
She jumped from the small doorway step to the carpet, twirling on her toes like a ballerina before she gestured to the television set. “Hello, ancient TV that only plays local access channels~!” Her gesture moved to the large dinosaur skull in the middle of the room. “Hello, weird T-Rex skull that we use as a coffee table for some reason~!” 
She waggled her finger at the aquarium. “Hello, giant aquarium tank that only sometimes has an animal in it~!” she said with a giggle. “You can’t hide from me forever, Sir. Wiggleton the Pink!”
From the nearby couch where she had seated herself and Waddles, Wendy raised an eyebrow. “Sir. Wiggleton the Pink?”
“That’s what I call Stan’s axolotl,” Mabel explained matter-of-factly. “He’s very sneaky, and likes to hide a lot. I only got a good look at him, like, once last year!”
“Maybe he sneaks out when nobody’s looking?” Wendy suggested, then snapped her fingers with inspiration. “Ooh, what if he’s actually some kinda secret agent, one who goes out and fights bad guys? And that's why it's so hard for anyone to spot him in the tank, ‘cause he’s not always in the tank!”
“Yeah, yeah!” Mabel agreed enthusiastically. “Maybe he’s part of a whole secret organization of secret-agent animals! And they all wear funny little hats!”
While they laughed in unison over the idea, more creaking from the hallway floorboards drew their attention to the doorway. A moment later, Dipper’s body was propped against the frame for support, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he gulped down precious breaths of air.
Between the desperate attempts to catch his breath, he shot Mabel a sour look. “You know, most people might call ‘tripping your brother as he tries to pass you in the driveway’ something along the lines of—oh, I dunno, maybe something along the lines of—cheating?”
Mabel’s mouth curled into a coy little smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dipping Sauce~!” she said innocently. “Not my fault you don’t know how to avoid branches while you’re running.”
“You literally stuck out your leg as I was trying to pass you!” Dipper argued. “And then after I fell, you laughed about it once you were sure I wasn’t actually hurt and was only just mildly inconvenienced!”
From her spot, Wendy let out a cackle. “You tripped him? Brutal.”
“It was a branch!” Mabel insisted. 
“A branch shaped like your leg!”
Mabel waved him away. “Oh, we can go on and on about things I did or didn’t do all we want—”
“You did do it.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered anyway!” Mabel continued, tossing her arms up in the air. “I still called dibs on being the first Pines to step inside, and you can’t go against dibs!”
“She has a point,” a voice spoke up behind Dipper, seconds before Ford stepped into the room. “The International Dibs Protocol is highly respected across countless dimensions, with millions of interdimensional beings valuing the weight it holds when it comes to ownership over specific affairs.”
He pressed a hand to his chin. “I believe at one point, there was even talk amongst the council members here in town about passing a law that would make adhering to said protocol mandatory. But the idea was scrapped before the House could ever lay an eye on it.”
“Yeesh, so this town’s just fine and dandy with people marryin’ woodpeckers or deciding ownership of a place based on whatever chump’s got the deed in their hands,” Stan called from out on the porch. “But you call dibs on something and suddenly that’s going too far—hey, hey! Knock it off, Soos, I’m not gonna look!”
He cast a miffed look to his right, where Soos had firmly remained throughout their entire walk up the driveway. His arms were spread out as wide as he could possibly get them, and he had even crab-walked up the porch beside Stan in an attempt to block something from his line of sight. 
“Sorry, Mr. Pines,” he said, keeping his arms outstretched until both of them were safely inside the house. ”But I can’t risk you seeing anything on the other side of this building until I give everyone the tour later!”
Stan let out a gruff sigh as they joined everyone else in the living room. “Yeah, yeah, like I’m in any rush to jump right back into work stuff after a nine-month vacation.”
Soos gave him a pitiful look. “Wh-you mean you’re not excited for the tour of all the new exhibits and stuff?”
“...I said ‘right back into’, didn’t I?” Stan pointed out. “Gimme an hour, we’ll see where I’m at then.”
He moved to the couch, then paused with a look to Wendy. “They got all the rats outta this thing while we were gone, right?”
“Completely rat free,” she assured him, moving her hand to Waddles’ head for scritches. “Although you’re never gonna guess what happened after we chased the last of them out of the shack—”
“Well, that sounds like six voices,” a voice called from the kitchen, seconds before a woman peeked her head through the doorway. “Pretty sure that’s everyone, unless we’re also expecting the girls.”
“Negative,” Wendy replied, as Stan settled down next to her. “Mr. Pines put down a hard no on any sleepovers tonight. Well, any sleepovers with the under-fourteens, at least.”
“Dipper also put down a hard no,” Dipper added. “Also hey, Melody!”
“Melody! Hi!” 
Mabel’s features lit up as Melody stepped out into the living room proper, and both twins rushed over to greet her further with a hug. “Hey, you guys!” she said, bending down to reciprocate. “Been a while, huh?”
“Sure has!” Dipper said with a hearty laugh.
“It’s so nice to see you again!” Mabel added with equal amounts of enthusiasm. “How’ve you been?”
 “I also think it’s nice to see you again!”
Before Melody could answer, all three suddenly found themselves lifted up from the ground. “I know we were only gone for, like, fifteen minutes or so,” Soos said, hugging all of them close to him. “But still, that’s enough time to miss someone, right?”
Despite most of her face being squished against his own, Melody smiled up at him.  “Well, fifteen minutes is about the same amount of time it takes to complete Ladybug on Dancey-Pants Revolution—” She paused and wriggled an arm free to tick off her fingers. “—what, five times? Five and a half? Just saying, that feels like an eternity when you’re trying to hit a perfect combo, doesn’t it?”
“That is so true,” Soos said with a nod. “You have such a way with words, babe.”
A squeak of delight drew their attention to the teenagers smushed between their bodies. “Hehe, you guys are adorable!” Mabel piped up. “And nerdy!”
“Also you’re kind of squishing us,” Dipper added with a wheeze.
With an apologetic smile, Soos lowered the group back down to the floor. “Sorry, dudes! Got so caught up in giving Melody a hug, that I kinda missed you were there.”
“Don’t worry, I’m okay,” Mabel assured him as she straightened out her clothes. “Being squished like that made me feel like the ham and cheese in a lovey-dovey sandwich!”
She gave a nudge to her brother’s arm with her elbow. “Guess that makes Dipper the lettuce and tomatoes!”
“What? Why am I the vegetables?” Dipper asked.
Mabel shrugged with a smile. “Because even if they’re not the most exciting ingredients, it just doesn’t feel like a proper sandwich without them,” she explained, pressing her hands together as if she were forming a sandwich herself. “But you gotta put ‘em between the meat and cheese, otherwise their veggie juices get mixed in with the condiments. Then bread gets all soggy and fall-apart-y and the sandwich is just inedible at that point.”
“Okay first of all, rude and gross. Second of all, that is a very weird analogy which explains nothing.” 
He pressed a hand to his stomach. “Although weirdly enough, it is making me hungry.”
“Good thing I got a head start on dinner before everyone got here,” Melody said. “In fact, I just checked the timer and there’s only a few minutes left before I need to pull it out of the oven—oh, by the way, lasagna from a box is fine with everyone, right?”
She directed her question both to the kids and to the group that had gathered by the couch, earning her a nod from Ford. “Fine with me. Meals that require minimal effort to prepare have sustained me since my college years, and I see no issue with continuing that trend now.”
“Long as there’s no fish involved, I’ll eat anything,” Stan assured her.
Wendy, who had distracted herself with scritching the spot between Waddles’ ears, looked to him. “Got sick of seafood out there on the open ocean, Mr. Pines?”
“Got sick of badly-prepared seafood.” 
Stan shot a pointed look to his brother. “Apparently somebody can rip out the spine of a zombified fishman from the ‘Walking Bullhead Dimension’—” 
“We’re gonna start this again, Stanley?” Ford interrupted, giving him an flat-but-amused look that implied they had discussed this topic countless times before.
“—but you give the guy a regular tuna to debone, and suddenly it’s all ‘Oh, this is ~soooo~ hard!’” Stan continued in a jestful tone. “‘I’m gonna make my twin brother nearly choke on a rib bone! Or two. Or five.’”
“Their spinal cords are more delicate than what I’m used to handling,” Ford insisted. “The anatomy of an anthropomorphic fish person—oh, uh, make some room?”
“Huh? Oh, right.” Stan made a gesture with his hand for Wendy to move. “Hey, scooch over and put the pig on the floor so we can all sit down.”
“I can take him off your hands now, Wendy,” Mabel said, holding her arms open. “Although he’ll probably end up on the floor anyway; I know he’s been dying to root around in the carpet for burrito bite crumbs again!”
While Wendy readjusted and passed Waddles back to his owner, Ford seated himself comfortably next to Stan. “As I was saying,” he continued. “The anatomy of an anthropomorphic fish person resembles our own more than that of a non-anthropomorphized fish from our dimension. This size increase in bone structure makes it far easier to get a grip on their spinal column and just—” He made a tearing motion with his hands. “—rip it straight from the body—”
He paused and looked to the younger twins. “Only when such drastic measures are necessary to take, of course. Had the dimension been populated by living anthropomorphized fish people, I would not have resorted to ripping out anyone’s spines.”
Stan lightly bumped his knuckles against Ford’s arm. “Heh, sounds like a buncha fancy-schmancy excuses from a guy who never learned how to properly work a pair of fish tweezers,” he said, making small, pinching motions with his fingers. “What’s wrong, Poindexter? Thought you were used to usin’ delicate sciencey tools out in the field with your dainty little sciencey grip.”
“Nothing about my science or my grip has been dainty in over thirty years, and I think you know that.”
“Yeah, tell that to the octopus babe you tried to hook up with off the coast of Australia! When’d she leave again, less than half-an-hour into the date?”
While Ford responded with his own playful fist to the arm—one that Stan cackled loudly at in return—Mabel knelt to the carpet and set Waddles at her side. “Aww, it’s nice to see you two getting along so well now!” she said sweetly. “Does that mean no more fighting? I mean, actual fighty-fighting and not play fighting?”
“Psh, please, let’s not go that far,” Stan replied, with a wave of his hand. “Of course we’re gonna fight, we’re siblings. Or are you forgetting how you tripped your brother out there in the driveway?”
“It was a bra~anch!” Mabel insisted in a singsong tone.
Dipper gave her a flat look. “Still gonna go with that excuse, huh?”
“Yeah-huh~! Also it’s not an excuse.”
With a wink to them, Stan snaked an arm around his brother’s shoulder. “But if anyone’s worried about a repeat of last year’s performance, don’t be!” he assured them. “Nine months of punching sea monsters and nabbing treasure from sirens have made us thick as thieves, just like old times!”
“While Stanley’s claims are a touch exaggerated, he’s not wrong,” Ford replied. “Despite our petty bickering over fish preparation, there’s nothing quite like spending months out on the open seas with someone to remind you of what’s really important in life. Sailing around the world on the adventure of a lifetime—”
He cast a small smile in his brother’s direction. “—well, it puts a lot of things in perspective.”
With a faux look of disgust, Stan pushed him away. “Ugh, why’d you have to go and make what I said all sappy? What, you wanna make the kids blow chunks on their first day back?”
While the kids giggled at this response, Ford nudged him in retaliation again. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, we could always go back to our petty fish arguments,” he said with a smug look. “You’ve harped on my inability to properly debone a fish, yet you act as if you didn’t completely butcher the deboning of those seatrout we caught along the coast of Florida.”
“Hey, hey, I plead the Florida loophole!” Stan insisted. “Which clearly states that if anything funky happens within the Florida boundaries, it was caused by the fact that we were near Florida.”
He folded his arms firmly across his chest. “Can’t be blamed for anything when we’re sailin’ through territory that could give this town a run for its money in weirdness.”
“Oh, you two were down in Florida?” Melody piped up. “That’s exactly where Abuelita headed a few days ago!”
“She won a free trip in a bingo game,” Soos explained with a look of pride. “Man, you should’ve seen how jealous Agnes and Bertha got when she held up her winning card—”
The ringing of a timer from the kitchen turned everyone’s heads to the doorway. “Oh, sounds like the food’s done,” Melody said. “Better go ahead and start plating.”
“Need an extra hand?” Soos asked.
“Mmm, I think I can manage slicing up lasagna by myself,” she assured him, before casting another look at the group. “Besides, I know how excited you were for everybody to get here, and I wouldn’t dream of pulling you away from everything just to help me slop some food on a plate.”
Soos moved his hands to her shoulders with a solemn expression. “I love you. So much.”
With a chuckle, she leaned up to kiss his cheek before turning back to the kitchen. Once she disappeared out of sight, Soos let out a warm sigh. “Isn’t she the best?” he asked to no one in particular.
Stan turned to Wendy with a raised eyebrow. “So them bein’ all lovey-dovey with each other,” he said. “Is that a rare thing or am I gonna have to actually start stockin’ up on eyeball bleach for the summer?”
“Told you to keep it in mind earlier,” Wendy said, hand on her hip. “Also, you call that ‘lovey-dovey’? Kisses and random compliments for the other when they’re not even in the room barely crack a three or four on the Soos-Melody Romance scale.”
She tilted her head in thought. “Though I guess it’s been more about quantity than quality lately. Can’t go five minutes without one of them trying to smother the other person in affection because of…reasons.”
She raised a finger to her mouth before casting a look over at Soos, who smiled and pressed a finger to his own mouth in return. Leaving the Pines family to watch them with raised eyebrows and tilted heads. “Well, that’s not cryptic or anything,” Ford said.
“Yeah, what’re you two hiding?” Dipper asked. 
“C’mon, spill the beans!” Mabel added, with a quick glance around the living room before she followed up with: “...If there were any opened cans of beans lying around, you know I’d poke ‘em over for dramatic effect!”
“Hehe, that’d be so funny,” Soos said amusedly. “It’d be like…a callback or something! But sorry, dudes, no beans of any kind can be spilled at the moment. Whether it’s beans of the secret variety, or just the ones in a can.”
“Why not?” Mabel asked.
“I mean, I think we ran out of them yesterday so you can’t spill what—”
“The secret part, Soos,” Dipper clarified.
“Oh, that!” Soos pressed a hand to the back of his neck with a tender look. “Well, it’s kind of a big deal, y’know? And I wanna wait until Mel and I can tell you together.”
“Yeesh, this secret of yours must be big big,” Stan said with a loose chuckle. “What, are the two of you getting married or some…thing—”
The mild amusement in his tone faded as the punchline he was waiting for never seemed to come, while the giddiness in Soos’ expression only seemed to blossom further. His cheeks had brightened to a light shade of red and he’d pressed hand over his mouth as he tried—and failed—to hide the smile that was quickly taking over his entire face.
Wendy also slapped a hand over her mouth to hide her smile—her entire upper half trembling as if she were holding back the biggest laugh of her life—while a deafening silence of realization overtook the rest of the Pines family.
“Alright, who wants the first two plates?”
It was Melody who finally broke the silence, having returned to the doorway with a paper plate of lasagna in each hand. “Again, I would’ve prepared something better for a welcome-back dinner, but with Abuelita out of town and the party tomorrow—”
“YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!”
Mabel’s words were punctuated by an ear-piercing scream—one that earned slapped hands to the ears of everyone except for Melody and Soos—and she flung herself around the neck of the latter to hug him tightly. “You guys are getting married! I can’t believe it!”
Dipper hurried to join in the hugging of Soos with a hearty laugh. “Congratulations, Soos! I’m so happy for you guys!”
“Can I be the flower girl?” Mabel prattled on. “Can Waddles be the ring bearer?!”
“What?! Why Waddles?” Dipper asked, then looked to Soos hopefully. “Can I be the ring bearer?!”
Melody stared at the sight with a look of mild confusion, to which Soos shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, babe,” he said meekly, and slung an arm around both of them. “Guess my poker face needed a little work.”
She chuckled in response, and went to set the plates down on the t-rex skull. “Well, I guess that’s one way to spill the beans.”
“YEAH! I spilled the beans!” Mabel said delightedly, pumping a fist in the air. “The metaphorical beans!”
“I mean, technically Stan was the one to spill them,” Wendy said, flashing Stan a grin. “You should’ve seen the look on your face, dude, it was priceless!”
This earned her a pair of narrowed eyes from Stan. “Hey, hey, what’s with you and the jokes today? You should be a little more respectful to the guy who used to sign your paychecks.”
“Mmm, are you going to be signing my paychecks again now that you’re back?”
Stan opened his mouth to respond, before the implication behind her reply snapped his attention right back to Soos and Melody. “Woah, woah, hold on, go back a sec—you’re telling me that you two are actually tyin’ the knot?”
Melody held out her hand, an engagement ring with a beautiful, purple gemstone resting comfortably on her finger. “End of the summer’s our set date,” she confirmed. “Oh, not the end end of summer; Soos told me that the kids’ birthday was the last day of August, and he didn’t want to take the spotlight away from their special day with our special day.”
“Aww, what? Booo!” Mabel protested as she hopped down from Soos’ arms. “Come on, we can share the day with you guys! Right, Dip?”
“Yeah!” Dipper agreed. “If there’s anything that’ll make our birthday better, it’ll be sharing it with your wedding day!”
Soos pressed a hand to each of their heads with a warm smile. “Aww, man, now I kinda wish we did!” he said, with a hopeful look to Melody. “You don’t think we could—”
“Normally I’d say yes in a heartbeat,” Melody said. “But we’ve already booked the photography, and you know how they are about rescheduling at the last second.”
“But don’t you guys have three months?” Dipper pointed out.
“To a wedding photographer, rescheduling earlier than five months counts as last minute,” Melody explained. “Especially if your set date’s in the summertime; they’re usually pretty swamped from June to the middle of September.”
“You shoulda gone for a Vegas wedding,” Stan said. “You get in, get out in an hour tops and all you need is a witness.”
He crossed his arms with a scowl. “And I guess you’ll need a safe for your valuables, in case the broad’s only marryin’ you for your winnings and plans on running off with ‘em in the middle of the night. …On second thought, don’t get married in Vegas.”
“Well, thankfully I don’t have any plans to go running off with any of Soos’s valuables, so there’s nothing to worry about there,” Melody said, taking a look around the room. “Besides, I’m pretty sure the majority of his valuables are sitting right in this very room, and I don’t think I could carry most of you.”
This earned her a chorus of ‘aww’s from the kids and Soos, and a retching gag from Stan. “Yeesh, forget the eye bleach thing, I’m gonna need something to scrub out my ears with after hearing that.”
“You’ll get used to it,” Wendy said, rising to her feet. “You still want some help with the food, Mel? I’ll do it just so Mr. Pines has an excuse to stop complaining about all the mushy stuff.”
Melody pressed a hand to her mouth to try and stifle back another laugh. “Sounds like a plan,” she said, and gestured for Wendy to follow.
While Wendy hurried after her—Stan glowering at her until she was out of his line of sight—the kids continued to swarm Soos with questions. “So where are you guys holding the wedding?” Mabel asked, hands folded together. “Ooh, lemme guess! Uh, uh—the arcade? No, that’s not romantic enough. Hoo-Ha Owl’s Pizzamatronic Jamboree? Since it’s where you had your first date?”
“Here at the Mystery Shack?” Dipper guessed. “Or, you know, a regular church?”
Soos pointed at him. “Ding ding ding, Dipper got it! Or, uh, he was right with the first guess.” He tossed his hands in the air. “We’re gonna have it here at the Mystery Shack! We’re gonna make some space outside, maybe put the alter over in that spot by the totem pole—it’s gonna look so good!”
“Well, I know I’m happy for both of you,” Ford spoke up from his spot on the couch. “I mean, I might not know either of you very well. But from the little I’ve seen of you two together, this is clearly a big deal and I’m honored that we get to share this opportunity with you.”
Soos turned to him with a surprised, yet touched expression. “Wh—aww, thanks, Dr. Pines,” he said, placing a hand on his heart. “That actually means a lot, coming from you.”
Ford blinked in confusion. “It…does?”
“Well…yeah,” Soos said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I mean, I know you didn’t plan for this place to become the Mystery Shack when you built it. But because it became that, I was able to meet Mr. Pines, and then Dipper and Mabel—” He began to tick off his fingers. “—and they were able to help me learn how to get a date, which led me to meeting Melody at the mall—”
He paused, looking to his hand. “Hey, should I count the whole ‘killer video game girlfriend’ thing in there somewhere, or was that more just a…thing that happened and isn’t really connected to all of this?”
“Definitely more of a side thing,” Mabel said. “Like, it happened, but I think connecting it back to the shack is a bit of a stretch.”
“The very weird point they’re to make is that none of this would’ve happened without you building the shack to begin with, Grunkle Ford,” Dipper said with a smile in his direction. “So in a way, a lot of this is because of you!”
“This wouldn’t be possible without help from our friend here!”
Ford’s smile vanished, nails gripping the arm of the couch tighter than he’d intended as the shrill, high-pitched sound of Bill’s voice echoed through his mind. Cruel tauntings mixed with the vicious laughter of his surrounding henchman, all while he struggled desperately against the invisible binds that held him in the air—
“Grunkle Ford, is everything alright?”
Mabel’s voice pulled him from his thoughts, a expression of worry painted across her features. Not only hers, but Dipper was giving him a mildly concerned look as well.
Ford let out a slow exhale of air through his nose to steady himself. It was just a horrible, fleeting memory, as were all his memories of Bill. Outside of his nightmares, he had managed to keep a lid on most of them for the past nine months whenever they managed to snake their way to the front of his mind.
That’s all it was, just another bad memory. No need to dwell on it, especially not now.
“I’m fine,” he reassured the rest of the group with a smile. “I was just about to say that I don’t know if I would go that far with the compliments. I mean, Stanley’s the one who put all the time and effort into making this place what it is today, isn’t he?”
He looked to his right, an identical pair of eyes meeting his own as the older Pines twins stared at each other in silence.
While he and Stan had only been reunited for less than a year, falling back into the habit of picking up on Stan’s mannerisms had almost been second instinct for Ford. Despite the forty year gap between their teenhood and the present, so much of the way that Stan presented himself hadn’t changed in the slightest.
So naturally, Ford had also picked back up the ability to distinguish when Stan was hiding his displeasure with a situation.
It didn’t happen often; Stan had always been the kind of person to openly and fervently vocalize his complaints at the slightest inconvenience. A behavioral habit he had possessed since they were young boys—such a thought sent an uncomfortable wave of nostalgia rippling through Ford’s chest—and one that had clearly stayed with him throughout the years—more uncomfortable waves in his chest of a different sort.
So whenever Stan made the choice to to keep his grievances to himself, it usually meant there was more bubbling under the surface. More than he was willing to let anyone see.
And the way that his features had shifted, jaw clenched and a rigid look behind his eyes that was easy to miss if you blinked—
“Yeah, the heck am I? Chopped liver?”
Before Ford could think to question Stan, he’d already turned back to the group with an affronted look. “Or are you knuckleheads forgettin’ who even started this whole business to begin with?”
This sent a wave of laughs through the trio. “Of course we didn’t, Grunkle Stan!” Mabel assured him. “We’d never forget about you!”
“Of course not!” Dipper added with a laugh.
“Not for a second!” Soos added. “In fact, I was actually about to ask you—”
“More plates coming through~!”
Melody and Wendy reentered the living room, a plate in each of their hands. “Alright, dorks, come and get these before I eat them,” Wendy joked, passing both plates in her hands to the younger twins.
“And one for you,” Melody said, handing one of hers to Soos with another kiss on the cheek.
This got a small hum of delight from Soos, which was accompanied by another eye roll from Stan as he leaned forward to take one of the plates off the skull table. “Eugh, on second thought, I don’t want any sorta credit for this mush fest,” he said, bringing it to his lap. “In fact, unless you got more happy news to tell us, I’m turnin’ my attention to this mush fest instead.”
To emphasize his pun, he brought the back of his fork down onto the lasagna with an audible squishing sound, before shoving a large bite into his mouth. “‘Sides, the sooner we eat, the sooner we get to see Soos’s big, fancy shack tour, right?”
His point seemed to encourage the kids to dig into their own plates as well, although not without bombarding the happy couple with more wedding-related questions. Wendy, in the meanwhile, had realized that she was the only person left without any food and headed back to the kitchen to fetch herself a plate of her own.
Leaving the remaining plate on the dinosaur skull, one growing colder by the minute, for Ford to take.
He leaned forward to pull it to his lap as well, unable to resist giving Stan a glance out of the corner of his eye as he did. Stan’s expression had returned to a more relaxed look as he dug into his food, any previous signs of distress now nothing more than a memory.
Settling back into place with his plate, Ford turned his attention back to the group—specifically Dipper and Mabel as they laughed along with whatever Soos was telling them through a mouthful of lasagna. 
None of them had expressed any further concern for Stan’s behavior after it had happened, and the three of them had spent far more time with Stan than he had in the past thirty years. Sure, the two of them had spent the past nine months together out at sea, but the kids had gotten to know him over the course of the previous summer. And Soos had practically spent all of his childhood and young-adulthood around him.
If they had failed to noticed anything was wrong with him, did that mean that Ford had misinterpreted his reaction completely? If one of Stan’s closest employees and family members—people who had been around Stan for far longer than he had in the past few decades—hadn’t noticed anything wrong with him, then maybe there was actually nothing to notice at all?
“Ho-ho! Looks like Mr. Brainiac finally got smart!”
…Then again, he did have experience in not picking up on the obvious.
His grip on the fork tightened as he stabbed it into the remaining lasagna on his plate, letting out another slow exhale in the process. It was like Stan had said earlier at the bus stop. If the two of them showed any signs of stress regarding the events of the previous summer, then it was sure to stress out the kids as well.
He raised the fork to his mouth. And it was like he had said; It was a new summer. A chance for everyone to start over, and for them to start over together.
“We don’t have to do anything alone ever again, right?”
“We don’t have to do anything alone. Not now, not ever again.”
If there was anything truly wrong with Stan, he would say something. They could talk things out, find a solution together.
As he bit down on the lasagna, however, he couldn’t stop his gaze from uncertainly shifting back to his brother.
—right?
— — — — — — — — 
“Remind us again why we’re wearin’ blindfolds?” Stan asked.
“Oh, how the tables have turned,” Mabel piped up, and reached her hands out in front of her to blindly grasp at the air. “Are you going to make Grunkle Stan drive us somewhere with his blindfold on?”
“I strongly advise against anything of the sort,” Ford said quickly. 
“Nah, I’m pretty sure Soos just wants us to be surprised by all the new stuff he’s added to the shack,” Dipper pointed out, and looked towards where he had heard Soos’s voice. “Isn’t that right, Soos? …I think I’m looking at you, I can’t actually tell.”
“You got it, dude!” Soos said, giving him a thumbs up before adding as an afterthought: “By the way, you can’t see it but I gave you a thumbs up!”
Dipper gave him a thumbs up in return, while Stan folded his arms across his chest. “Yeesh, with how much you’re hyping this thing up, it better end with a boatload of cash.”
He flipped his thumb in the direction of the parked car and boat situated a short distance from the group. “And don’t think I don’t know how much a boatload is, we got the Stan-O’-War 2 parked right over there for reference.” A pause. “I’m pretty sure it’s over there, at least.”
“It is,” Soos assured him. “Alright, is everyone ready?”
Dipper gave a nod. “We’re ready, Soos!”
“Yeah, knock us dead, Mr. Mystery!” Mabel added encouragingly.
After a quick glance down at the stack of flashcards in his hands, Soos looked back to the waiting Pines with a big smile. “Greetings, ladies, gentlemen, and other assorted tourists,” he began in a rehearsed tone. “First of all, the Mystery Shack family would like to offer you a hearty welcome to the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon—”
He winked at them. “Or I guess I should really say welcome back to the town of Gravity Falls, Oregon! …‘Cause, like, you all came back to the town after leaving—”
Stan pressed a hand to his forehead. “You’re really gonna give us the entire pitch first, huh?”
From off to the side where her and Wendy were situated, Melody perked up at his remark. “He’s been waiting ages to show it to you,” she called to them. “He barely got any sleep last night out of excitement!”
“I kept opening my eyes and hoping it was finally morning,” Soos admitted with a bashful smile.
“Besides, aren’t you the one who’s always saying that buttering up the chumps that come through here is a good way to get them to toss more money at us?” Wendy added. “Why do you care if he gives you the entire pitch first?”
“Hey, never said I didn’t approve of it,” Stan clarified. “I especially like the part where he refers to the staff as a family.”
He gave a theatrical wave of his hands. “Paints a mental picture in those chumps’ minds. A picture that says ‘Hey! The people at this place must be really close if they’re callin’ themselves a family! And if they’re a family, they must have a bunch of hungry kids to feed! Let’s toss all the money in our wallets at them…for the children!’”
“Probably helps that you actually made us dress up like ‘the abnormally hungry twins’ for an exhibit last year.” Dipper cast a flat look towards Stan, then to verbally emphasize his point: “Which I will not be doing again this year.”
Stan waved him away with a scoff. “‘Course not; those extra inches on your height won’t make you pass as anything more than a starving teenager. And people aren’t as taken in by teenagers in need as they are kids.”
“An unfortunate fact, but a true one,” Wendy chimed in again. “Now shh, Soos worked really hard on preparing this speech!”
“Thanks, Wendy,” Soos said. “But I don’t mind any interruptions, especially not from Mr. Pines! If there’s anything my online forums taught me, it’s that running a business is like writing a fanfiction: healthy criticism informs me of the areas I can improve on, and makes me feel good about the areas I’m already doing well in!”
He tapped his chin. “There’s also a lot of overlap between the two when it comes to people who want to learn about how to romance a werewolf,” he mused with a chuckle. “Turns out the secret is just buying a lot of beef jerky, they go nuts for the stuff—”
“Keep it on track, Soos,” Stan interrupted with a roll of his hand.
“Gravity Falls, Oregon,” Soos continued. “A mysterious and strange town, full of mysterious and strange beings. Whether they’re human, animal, vegetable, mineral, something in between or something else entirely, the one thing they all have in common is that they call this town home.”
He tossed an arm in the air to gesture at the building behind him. “And lucky for you, our totally awesome family here at the Mystery Shack is happy to help bridge the gap between the mysterious and the…not-mysterious—”
He made a so-so motion with his hand. “This part’s a little rough, but we’re working on smoothing it out. I know there’s a good M-word that would fit there, I just can’t remember off the top of my head.”
Ford pressed a hand to his mouth, before he spoke up with a suggested: “Mundane?”
Soos’s features brightened with inspiration and he shot a finger gun in Ford’s direction. “Boom! That’s the one!” he said, fetching a pencil from his pocket. “Thanks, Dr. Pines! …By the way, I shot you a finger gun. If you don’t know what that is—‘cause of all the time away from our dimension—I can tell you! It’s when you take your finger and—”
“No need to explain, Soos,” Ford assured him. “The concept speaks for itself.”
While Soos scribbled a few edits onto his flashcard, Melody raised a hand from her spot. “Sorry to interrupt your speech, Soos, but I just want to make sure I’m getting things right now that everyone’s here.” 
She pointed a finger at the Stans, shifting it back and forth between them. “Mr. Pines is the founder of the Mystery Shack and Dr. Pines is the one who actually owns it, right?” she asked with a shrug. “Or—well, I know that technically we own it since we have the deed to the building, that’s such a weird law for this town to have—”
“You have no idea,” Stan added.
“—but you get what I mean, right? Dr. Pines is the name on the deed?”
“I gotcha, and you’re right!” Soos clarified. “Mr. Pines founded the mystery shack and Dr. Pines is the one on the deed.”
He turned to face her completely. “If it helps, you could try remembering it like this: Mr. for mystery and Dr. for deed to the shack!”
Melody considered this for a moment. “Oh, that does help, actually. It’s like a stalactite/stalagmite kind of thing.”
“You could also just call them Stan and Ford,” Mabel added. “Ooh, or Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford like we do!”
“I mean, technically they aren’t her great-uncles,” Dipper pointed out. “So that wouldn’t really make sense.”
With a tut, Mabel placed her hands on her hips. “Please, the title of Grunkle is less about being a great-uncle, and more of a state of mind.”
“...Yeah, the state of mind where you’re a great-uncle,” Dipper said pointedly. “Hence the combination of the two words.”
“You can call us whatever you please,” Ford spoke up. “Clearly there are plenty of options to choose from, and all are accurate to some degree.”
He pressed a hand to his chin. “Although I will admit that it’s been a long time since anyone has referred to me as Dr. Pines. It was far more common for people to call me that for the first few years after I finished college.”
“You know what, I’ll experiment with a few different names, see what sticks,” Melody said, then turned her attention back to Soos. “Sorry, babe, didn’t mean to interrupt. Go ahead and keep going.”
“Never hurts to double check,” Soos assured her. “Plus since the two of them are part of the Shack’s history, it doubles as a tour question! Ooh, we should write that into the speech, too—”
There was another pause as he scribbled something down on his flashcards. “See, that’s another reason I wanted to show you guts the tour as soon as possible,” he said to the Pines. “I’m adding so much that’s gonna knock the next group of tourists that hears it on their butts! Okay, let’s see, where was I—”
“Mysterious and mundane,” Dipper reminded him helpfully.
“Thanks, dude! As I was saying before, we here at the Mystery Shack are happy to help bridge the gap between the mysterious and the mundane—”
He playfully waggled a finger in Ford’s direction, before tossing his free hand in the air. “And hopefully after today’s tour, you’ll all be able to walk across that bridge alongside us! Welcome to the Mystery Shack!”
He squinted down at his flashcards again. “Is…is that good for a welcoming statement?” he asked. “Did I do a good job? Do you feel invested to learn more about what awaits in this fine establishment?”
“Oh, I know if I had a wallet full of money, I’d be tossing fistfuls at you right now,” Mabel said supportively, and dug a hand into the pocket of her skirt. “Ooh, wait, I might have some glitter I can toss instead—”
After blindly feeling around for a moment, she pulled her hand out with a with a disappointed look. “Aw, nope, false alarm,” she said, opening her palm to reveal a squished, blue blob. “Just my wad of that sticky stuff teachers use to hang up posters that I stole over the school year~!”
She dropped it in her pocket again and gave the side a pat. “Just gonna tuck that back where it belongs~!”
“And I’m always ready to learn more,” Dipper added. “So you don’t need to do much to convince me!”
“Sounds like a yes to me, Mr. Mystery,” Melody said. “We good to move on to the next part of this tour?”
“You know it!” Soos said, before looking back to the Pines. “Okay so that part of the speech would normally be followed up with me leading everyone over to the exhibits area and showing all of them off.” 
His gaze moved to the Stans. “But I know you wanted a quiet evening without tourists or sleepovers or parties—”
“We did,” Stan confirmed.
“I didn’t,” Mabel argued with a pout. “I’ll bet Candy and Grenda would’ve had so much fun on the tour!”
“Oh, they’ve taken it many times!” Soos assured her. “They’re practically honorary employees at this point, and sometimes they even help with the new exhibits!”
At this information, Mabel’s pout was immediately replaced with a cutesy smile and she squished her hands to her cheeks. “Aww, of course they do! Can we see some of the ones they helped with?”
“Well, uh—like I was saying, we knew Mr. Pines wanted at least one evening before all the loud stuff,” Soos said. “So we ended tours early for the day and sent everyone from the exhibits home.”
The Pines exchanged a series of confused, blindfolded looks, before Dipper vocalized their confusion with an: “Everyone?”
Soos looked to Melody and Wendy, who nodded in unison. “We sent everyone home,” he continued to the Pines. “But we still wanted to give you all a taste of the kind of tours we’d normally give on a regular basis! So Melody had the brilliant idea to leave out the empty displays and do a fake tour before cleanup!”
He gestured for them to follow. “If you really want to know more, you’re gonna have to come look for yourselves~! And to look for yourselves, you’re gonna have to follow me!”
“Refusing to explain further until we take the tour for ourselves?” Stan gave a proud nod. “Good, good, you’re reelin’ us in…”
“Uh, Soos?” Dipper said, and pointed to his blindfold. “How can we follow you if you can’t see?”
Soos froze, and pressed a hand to his forehead. “Oh, duh, forgot about that!” he said, and thought for a moment. “Uh…just carefully follow the sound of my voice and footsteps?”
He began to walk backwards, making wide gesturing motions with his hands as they blindly followed him. “Alright, dudes, just keep walking forward—oop, careful of that crack in the ground, Dipper! Okay, just a little further—”
“Still don’t understand why we can’t just take the blindfolds off,” Stan said, taking a few bold steps forward—
—and letting out a grunt of pain as he stepped on a small rock. “Also, since when did Soos know to call you Dr. Pines?” he asked, kicking the rock to the side. “Don’t remember you ever tellin’ him to do that.”
He directed the last remark at Ford, who was carefully toeing the dirt in front of him before taking a step. “Well, I did mention my college years back when I first stepped out of the portal,” he reminded Stan. “Perhaps he took that fact and came to the conclusion that using the Dr. prefix would be appropriate, given my numerous PhDs.”
Stan’s expression shifted for a moment. “Oh yeah, that did happen, didn’t it,” he said, before shaking his head. “Yeah, given your whole science guy thing, I’ll bet he woulda called you Dr. Pines even if you didn’t have the credentials for it.”
“I would’ve!” Soos confirmed helpfully.
“Ooh, Mabel just had a fun idea!” Mabel piped up, and pressed her hands together. “What if we called you Dr. Grunkle Ford?”
She smiled cutely in Ford’s direction, despite being unable to see him. “I’ll bet one of those PhDs is from mastering the study of Great-Uncle-ing, isn’t it? Hmm~?”
“Well, if we’re getting into the specifics,” Ford began. “The field of studies I majored in were biology, archaeology—dabbled in Hyper-Advanced Engineering and Fifth-Dimensional Calculus for three semesters, deeply regret trading the rest for an extra semester of Applied Quantum Phase Theory—”
He paused. “Oh, that was a joke, wasn’t it?”
Mabel let out a giggle. “The PhD part was, the Dr. Grunkle Ford part was not. That was also not a ‘no’ so I’m gonna tuck that away for later.”
She made a motion to grab something out of the air, and pretended to drop it into her pocket. “And just ‘cause you can’t see it, I grabbed the nickname out of the air and dropped it into my pocket,” she explained, patting her skirt. “It’s resting right next to my blob of sticky poster stuff as we speak.”
“Hey, Soos, are we able to take off our blindfolds yet?” Dipper asked.
“Just a little further ahead—ooh, okay, stop, stop!”
Soos came to a stop himself, smile wider than ever. “Alright, esteemed guests! You may now remove your blindfolds and behold the wonders the Shack has to offer! …Or, at least, get an idea of what the Shack has to offer when we’re not closed!”
Four pairs of hands met cloth as the Pines reached up to lower their blindfolds and take in the sight before them.
The area situated between the shack and the edge of the woods was reminiscent of a carnival after all the guests had gone home for the day—the grass a tamped-down mess of discarded pamphlets and trash, and a wide selection of empty displays surrounded them on all sides.
To their left stood a tall aquarium that stretched around ten by ten square feet, filled nearly to the brim with placid water. Further ahead was a lengthy presentation stage, littered in the remains of unidentifiable objects made of wood, stone—anything that looked like it would’ve been a challenge for a regular human to destroy.
Ahead of that was an artificial recreation of a magical forest glenn, one perfect for a unicorn to kneel before in a graceful and elegant fashion. A series of perches for winged creatures both big and small. A small pet bed the perfect size for a plaidypus. A collection of scattered Pitt Cola cans near a skateboarding ramp covered in massive, yeti-like footprints and tire tracks.
Empty display after empty display surrounded the Pines family as they looked around, each a clear indicator of what beings would normally occupy them during business hours.
And if the sight wasn’t enough, Soos was happy to confirm it as he lead them forward: “Now, this is our Main Exhibit Area,” he said, and gestured around himself. “Any live beings for these attractions would normally be gathered here for their demonstrations—”
“Live beings?” Dipper asked with a hopeful sparkle in his eyes. “As in we’ve started including actual, real monsters and creatures and stuff?”
“You know it, dude!” Soos said.
Mabel smooshed her face against the side of the large, glass tank, pupils darting back and forth while questions spilled out of her mouth at breakneck speed: “Is this a mermaid tank? How many mermaids are here? What are they like? …Are any of them Mermando?”
“Reminder that you’re in a relationship,” Dipper said.
Mabel pulled her face back with an audible pop, before giving her brother a pointed stare. “I wasn’t asking so I could date him again! It’d just be nice to catch up with an old friend!” 
She moved a hand to her forehead, rubbing the spot where skin had met glass. “Besides, you act like Dev wouldn’t be cool with being in a polyamorous relationship with a mermaid.”
“...You know, that is probably something he’d be cool with.”
“Soos said he had a feeling you’d like the mermaid tank,” Melody said, coming up beside them. “And Wendy had a feeling that you’d love to see me jump into it.”
Mabel stared up at her with a grave look. “I would love nothing more.”
“Called that one,” Wendy said with a smug grin.
Using the ladder near them, Melody climbed up and onto the wooden platform on top of the tank, pausing only for a moment to fiddle with something in the very center. After a few seconds, she lifted the half she was not kneeling on upwards and held it still for the group to see. 
Rather than being made completely out of wood like the other half, the ‘lid’ was made up of sturdy, steel bars with gaps between them. Like the bars of a jail cell, if the entire jail cell had been laid on its back and made of glass.
“We like to close and lock the lid between mermaid demonstrations,” she explained to the Pines family. “Keeps any bold tourists from trying to climb inside.”
“You lock your mermaids up?” Mabel asked, hands pressed to her mouth in horror.
“Wha—oh, no, don’t worry!” Melody quickly assured her. “We only lock it up once Mitch is outside of it and in his portable tank—hey, Soos, Wendy, can you guys—”
“Oh, yeah, one sec.”
Both Soos and Wendy hurried over to the opposite end of the tank and held out their arms, as if preparing to catch something out of the air. Once they were in place, Melody arched the lid up and over towards the side where they stood. While it quickly swung downwards at the two of them, they stood firm as they caught it in their arms, before gently guiding it to rest against the side of the tank.
Looking pleased, Melody turned her attention back to the kids. “Alright, I’m not even gonna try to do a proper mermaid dive into this thing because there’s a good chance I might break my neck,” she said. “So are we fine with a cannonball instead?”
“Cannonball! Cannonball!” Dipper and Mabel chanted in unison.
“Cannonball!” Soos added with just as much enthusiasm.
“Sounds like a yes to me!” Melody said, and took a small step back from the gap. “Get your cameras ready!”
Mabel held up her cell phone with a bright smile, before taking a cautious step back from the tank. “For safety measures,” she explained. “Don’t want what happened to Dipper’s phone to happen to mine~!”
“There was a chicken in science class, caught on fire and set off the sprinklers…” He shrugged in mild annoyance. “I had to get a new phone, it was a whole thing—”
“Shshshsh,” Mabel said, taking one hand off her phone to wave him quiet. “We can exchange cool stories after the tour! Cannonball time!”
“Oh, right—go for it, Melody!”
And with that confirmation, Melody took a deep breath jumped up and over the open side of the tank, folding her body into a cannonball shaped before she sank down into the water. Water that splashed up and out, soaking the grass around the tank and the toes of anyone who hadn’t followed Mabel’s example and backed up to safety.
While Melody breached the surface and swam to the tank’s side, Soos looked back down to his flashcards. “As you can imagine, normally a trick like this would be done by our hired merteen, Mitch,” he explained. “He would do a few tricks, explain a few of the basics of being a merperson, and then answer a few questions from the audience about being a mermaid and stuff.”
Melody propped her folded arms over the side of the tank. “And since I’m not an actual mermaid, I can’t really answer any real mermaid questions,” she said. “Or, at least, not as well as someone who’s been one their entire lives. But if anyone’s got any about how the exhibit works in other ways—”
“And Mabel’s hand is already in the air.”
Dipper flicked a thumb towards his sister, who was waving her arm about so frantically that it was a miracle that it didn’t go flying right off her body. Melody smiled and gestured to her with a damp hand. “Go ahead, Mabel.”
“Because I didn’t get any answers before, I repeat my questions from earlier,” Mabel said. “How many mermaids are here? What are they like?”
She turned her nose up at Dipper. “And would there happen to be an old friend of mine by the name of Mermando among them?” she asked. “One I am not interested in dating again, but one I would like to say hello to, despite what a certain someone might think—”
“Laying it on a little thick, aren’t we?” Dipper asked.
“Ehhh, we only got the one merman and I doubt you’d be interested in dating him,” Wendy answered. “He’s kinda dull, one of those beach-dude types who’s overly obsessed with surfing and sun…”
She flicked a thumb towards the skating ramp. ”Gets along pretty well with the Abominable Bro-men who hang out at the halfpipe, though.”
“Speaking of which, he headed down to the California coast for the summer,” Soos said. “Apparently he’s got a lot of family down there—”
“Makes sense,” Dipper said with a nod.
“Totally tracks,” Mabel added.
“—which means that the only mermaid exhibit you’ll get to see for the next three months is Melody’s,” Soos continued. “Unless another one applies for a job soon, that is. ‘Course we’ll still need to check their resume, confirm their resources are legitimate—”
“Which could happen,” Melody said, as she pulled herself up onto the edge of the tank. “I’ve got a couple of interviews lined up.”
She looked towards the older Pines twins. “What about you two? Got any mermaid questions for me?”
“I’m afraid any questions I might still have about mermaids would only be able to be answered by actual mermaids,” Ford said, and looked towards the rest of the displays. “And I assume the same applies to the rest of the exhibits.”
He cast them both a smile. “But I’m in full support of this method of showcasing them! I mean, using the supernatural beings of Gravity Falls as willing exhibits, and providing a chance for everyone to grow accustomed to each other in a neutral setting?” 
He tossed his hands in the air. “All with education lessons about each creature added to the mix? Quite the scientific approach to this sort of thing, color me very impressed!”
“Well, we kinda have you to thank for the idea, Dr. Pines,” Melody said. “You and the kids, of course.”
Once again, Ford found himself bewildered by the sudden praise and he tilted his head with a curious look. “Care to explain?”
“See, I spent sooooo much time with Dipper and Mabel last year,” Soos explained. “And they spent sooooo much of their time doing lots of cool, mystery stuff! Whether it was fighting some big monster or just trying to find out more about the super-mysterious author guy who wrote the journal that Dipper found in the woods—”
He once again pointed at Ford with a playful grin, before continuing: “—we learned about a lotta weird dudes! And with the town coming together and everything after Weirdmageddon, that meant a lotta those weird dudes were walking around in broad daylight. Which meant a lotta tourists started seeing those weird dudes walking around in broad daylight!”
“And as most tourists do, plenty had questions about them,” Melody continued from the water tank. “So with the Shack being one of the most popular locations in town, some talk was thrown around about us providing a space for those beings to answer their questions!”
“It probably helps that a lot of those weird dudes hid in the Mystery Shack during Weirdmageddon,” Wendy added. “So you know, didn’t take a lot of convincing to get them involved, since they kinda consider it a safe haven now.”
“That’s so cool!” Dipper piped up excitedly.
“It’s brilliant,” Ford agreed. “During my years of research, I spent so long studying all the strange and mysterious beings of this town. How they came to exist, how they functioned—”
He placed a hand to the side of the tank. “Not just them but the weirdness that surrounded the town as a whole. Why all of it was so drawn to this tiny, Oregon town out of anywhere else in the world—”
“Imagine it, Sixer—a whole dimension of weirdness! One where the strangest and most bizarre beings the Multiverse has to offer call home! All waiting for someone as brilliant as you to pop on over and show the world what they—and you—can do!”
“You really think so?”
“Buddy, I know so! This is the way genius happens! …With a little help from a friend, of course!”
The hand against the glass curled into a fist as Bill’s voice once again pounded through his skull, the memories of their ‘research’ together gripping his insides like a vice. All those years of hard work for naught, all that wasted time being fed promises from the honey-dipped spoon of a liar, the bitter truth hidden from sight until it was too late to spit it back out—
He slowly unclenched his hand with a shuddery exhale. Deep breath, just relax. Everything was fine. “—well, this whole setup is making me reminisce on more nostalgic times,” he finished with a forced smile in Soos’s direction. “That’s all.”
If Soos had caught on to his half-truth, he didn’t show any sign of it in his own expression. Rather, his own smile simply widened further as he looked to Stan. “What about you, Mr. Pines?”
Ford couldn’t help but look to his brother as well, and his eyes once again met a matching pair as the two of them stared at each other in another shared silence.
The rigidity in Stan’s features from before had returned. Far less prominent than it had been back in the house, but the way his jaw was set, the cold, studious gaze behind worn lenses—
“All I wanna know is how much this kinda stuff’s costing the two of you.” 
And quick as a flash, Stan had turned back to the rest of the group, arms folded across his chest and any sense of tension in his features nonexistent. “Don’t get me wrong; I think usin’ all the ghouls and goblins of this town to get more money outta tourists is a great idea—”
“You mean like what I suggested last year?” Dipper pointed out.
“Last year I was still playin’ dumb about all of that, in the hopes it would keep you kids outta trouble,” Stan reminded him. “Think we can safely say that ship has sailed by now. Besides, I ain’t the big man in charge anymore, so whatever changes you make to the shop are up to you and you alone.” 
He directed the back half of his sentence at Soos and Melody as he turned to face them again. “But you know me; always lookin’ at the side of business with the dollar signs. And I just wanna know if you’re turnin’ more of a profit than what you’re spendin’.”
Ford’s gaze continued to linger on his brother for a moment more, before he turned to them as well. “Stanley raises a good point. While I clearly support the desire and motivation to help others approach the supernatural beings of the Falls with a more respectful and scientific mindset—well, as Stanley put it so eloquently, such methods aren’t exactly cheap.”
“Oh, that’s nothing to worry about,” Melody assured them. “If anything, the Shack is making more money than it ever did before!”
“Oh yeah!” Soos agreed. “Even taking into account all of the paychecks we give out—of course we pay anyone who’s part of an exhibit—”
“They’re employees after all,” Melody chimed in with a nod.
“—even taking all that into account, we’re doing really well!” Soos finished, tossing his hands into the air. “In fact, the Shack is more popular than it’s ever been before!”
Ford glanced back at Stan, scanning his features for any other signs of distress. However, Stan only seemed to perk up further at Soos’ comment, even going so far as to clasp a proud arm around his shoulder. “Well, then I have no complaints whatsoever! Show me another one of these magnificent, moneymaking—uh, m—uh…whatever, just show me another one.”
“Sounds like my cue,” Wendy said, and turned to the younger twins. “Who wants to see me break something over at the Manotaur stage?”
This time, Dipper and Mabel’s hand shot up in unison, and Wendy laughed as she lead them over towards the empty presentation stage. Much like back at the bus stop, the adults found themselves left behind as Soos helped a sopping-wet Melody back down the ladder and into the grass. 
“Well, the tour might not be how we usually do things, but at least they seem to be having fun,” she said, and reached up to wring out some of the water in her hair. “Plus getting a chance to jump into a tank of water on a hot summer evening’s probably the opposite of a problem.”
“You cannonball like no other,” Soos said, tone full of sincerity before he looked to the older twins. “So you’re really enjoying the tour so far, Mr. Pines? I know you probably won’t get a proper feel of the new exhibits until you’re able to take a real tour, and I know this is a huge change from how you used to do things—”
“Like I said, it’s makin’ this place more money than ever so I’ve got zero complaints,” Stan said with a shrug. “Your methods are smart, keepin’ up with what the people want like any good business should…”
His features shifted to something that almost resembled genuine pride, if one looked closely enough. “You’re…you’re doin’ good, Soos. Really.”
A single touch could’ve shattered Soos like glass, eyes swelling with tears of pure joy.. “Thank you so much, Mr. Pines!” he said, and finally gave in to the urge he was probably holding since the moment the Stans arrived and scooped Stan up into a hug. “You’ve no idea how much this means to me!”
Any pride in Stan’s expression vanished in place of annoyance at being scooped, and he struggled fruitlessly against Soos’ embrace. “Alright, alright, save the huggy stuff for your fiance over there,” he insisted firmly. “Besides, didn’t Wendy say she wanted to show us another exhibit or whatever?”
“Oh, right!” Soos said, and looked to Melody. “Want me to hug-carry you over to the stage?”
“Soos, I’m soaking wet.”
“Then we’ll both be soaking wet!”
Recognizing a good point when she heard it, Melody shrugged and hopped into his arms and the two of them fell into a shared fit of laughter as Soos lead them both towards the Manotaur stage. 
Leaving the Stans as the remaining two near the mermaid tank. 
“Can you believe this?” Stan asked, with a light flick to the glass. “A mermaid exhibit with a living, breathing merman? And one not made out of random animal parts?”
“They really seem to have tapped into a brilliant method of showcasing the exhibits here,” Ford agreed, turning his attention to the glass as well. With Melody no longer inside, the water inside was slowly settling back to a calm and undisturbed state. “You really picked the right man to take up the reigns in your absence.”
“Yeah, I…I really did, huh?”
That heavy silence from before began to envelop the brothers again, nearly impossible to ignore by this point. Not even the whooping and hollering from the stage—apparently Wendy had started her demonstration without them—was enough to distract Ford from his growing suspicions that Stanley was hiding something.
With the way he kept looking at Ford, features set with that rigid expression that clearly obscured his actual feelings beneath, he was either hiding something or he needed to say something without the others nearby.
Well, they had a moment alone now. Best to do the straightforward thing and just ask directly. “Stanley, is everything alright?”
Stan snapped his attention from the tank to Ford so quickly that it was a miracle he didn’t pull something, and for a moment he did seem like he had something he needed to say—
—before his expression settled back into something more neutral as he leaned back against the glass. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”
It was an odd thing. With the many years of conning people under his belt, Ford had expected his brother to be far better at lying right to his face. “Are you sure?” he tried again, and leaned back against the glass as well. “You know you can talk to me, Stanley. It’s like you said before: we don’t have to deal with things by ourselves anymore. So, if you need to talk about anything, anything at all…”
This earned a small chuckle from Stan. “Throwin’ my own words back at me, huh? Cheap shot.”
He hesitated to reply for a moment, before giving him a halfhearted shrug. “I dunno, it’s nothin’,” he said. “I think I’m just having a hard time getting back into the swing of things now that we’re back in town. Just a lotta new stuff to get used to, stuff that wasn’t here last year…”
He cast Ford a smirk. “Guess you could say I’m having trouble gettin’ my land legs, instead of my sea legs,” he said, leaning over to nudge him with his elbow. “You—you get it? My land legs—”
Dodging the subject with a joke, and an incredibly cheesy one at that. A classic Stanley move to avoid talking about something he didn’t want to, one that only cemented Ford’s concerns further.
However, his first remark brought a thoughtful hand to Ford’s chin. “There have been quite a few changes in our absence,” he agreed. “It would make sense that it would be difficult for you to readjust, especially in regards to the shack.”
He cast a look towards the shack itself. “I mean, you were in charge of this place for what, thirty years? That’s about five times the number of years I lived here,” he said. “Not to mention Soos and Melody’s whole announcement, I can imagine that would be quite the surprise for you—”
“Only surprise there is that there’s apparently someone on this planet more nerdy than Soos,” Stan interrupted quickly, and crossed his arms. “What about you? How’re you holdin’ up?”
Ford stared at him, perplexed. “Me?”
“To quote the words you stole from me to then throw back at me; we don’t have to deal with things by ourselves anymore,” Stan said. “So do you have anything you wanna talk about?”
“Heads up!”
A shout from the stage sprung the brothers into action, and both jumped out of the way just in time to avoid a porcelain vase whizzing past at breakneck speed, right before crashing straight into the side of the cabin and shattering on impact.
“Sorry, guys!” Wendy called from atop the stage. “Think I put a little too much oomph into that swing!”
“I think you put just the right amount of oomph into it!” Mabel said from beside her, grin bright. 
“It was incredible!” Dipper agreed. “Can you do it again?”
“I dunno,” Wendy said, tapping the end of the bat against her boot. “The destruction of valuable properly really gets both the Manotaurs and the audience all riled up, so they tend to keep the going until there’s nothing left to destroy.”
She moved the end of the bat was moved to a discarded plank of wood near her feet, gently nudging it towards the edge of the stage. “And judging by today’s damage, it’s a miracle that one vase remained unscathed as long as it did.”
“Aw, boo,” Mabel said. “I wanna see more mindless violence!”
“Sadly that’s all I got for the big lugs for now,” Wendy said, letting the bat clatter to the stage. “You squirts know all about their deal already, so random trivia is kinda out of the question. I mean, I could always do the thing where they let someone from the audience challenge them in a fight, but ehh, I’ve already gotta clean up the displays on my day off—”
“Didn’t you choose to come to work anyway?” Mabel pointed out.
“—so I’m just gonna pass the baton to Soos,” Wendy continued, tossing a hand in Soos’ direction. “How about it, Soos? You’re the only one who hasn’t shown off one of the exhibits yet, it’s only fair you get a turn before we move on to the Big Stuff inside.”
“You make a good point!” Soos agreed with a nod, and glanced around at the remaining exhibits for a moment in thought. “Who wants to watch me try and do a kickflip over at the Abominable Bro-Men’s halfpipe?”
“Me! Me!” Dipper piped up enthusiastically. “You are absolutely going to fall and break your neck, so I’m in!”
Beaming, Soos turned back to the direction of the mermaid tank. “What about you, Dr. and Mr. Pines?” he called. “You wanna join us?”
The sudden vase attack had pulled both from their conversation long enough to grow distracted by the kids’ antics on the stage. At Soos’ call, however, the two of them exchanged a look with each other. “Like I was askin’ before,” Stan tried again. “Are you okay? You got anything you need to talk about?”
It was said in such a knowing tone, as if Stan could physically see the triangle-shaped echos that were permanently etched against the inside of Ford’s mind. As if he were just waiting for Ford to offer him the chance to swing another fist at them again.
But while swinging a fist at Bill had worked the first time around, Stan couldn’t exactly swing a fist at the nightmares that had plagued Ford’s head for as long as he could remember. And even if he could—
“I’m fine, Stanley,” he finally insisted aloud. “Really, I am. Perhaps it’s as you said, and it’s taking me more time to readjust to being back in town than I’d initially expected.”
He flashed Stan a weak smile, one that his brother hesitated to return for a few seconds. But eventually, the corners of Stan’s mouth curled upwards into a amused smile of his own. “Pretty sure my exact words were ‘having trouble gettin’ my land legs’,” he pointed out, clasping a hand on Ford’s shoulder. “Was a pretty good one, if I do say so myself.”
“Stanley, you realize that ‘getting your land legs’ is about as common of a phrase as ‘getting your sea legs’,” Ford pointed out.
“Nah, I’m pretty sure I made that one up,” Stan said, and plopping an arm across his brother’s shoulders. “Now come on, let’s go watch Soos break his neck or whatever he’s gonna do.”
“Personally, I’m not a fan of Abominable Bro-Men,” Ford admitted. “But with all this talk of neck-breaking, I think there should be at least one person there who knows how to reset a bone.”
“Oh, so you’re an expert with human bones—”
While the adults followed Soos towards the half-pipe, Mabel let out a disappointed noise. “Aww man, I wanted a chance to try and fight Wendy!”
“Eh, we’ve got all summer,” Wendy reminded her. “Besides, you’re telling me you’d miss a chance to watch Soos fall flat on his face?”
With a giggle, Mabel shoved her hands in her pockets. “Now I never said that—oh, wait—” 
She shuffled her hands around for a moment, before pulling them back out and peering into her pocket with an annoyed look. “Aww, dang it, I think my wad of sticky poster stuff fell out of my pocket somewhere.”
“Eugh, that probably means it’s all covered in dirt or something now,” Dipper said with a grimace. “Probably best to cut your losses and start a new one when school picks back up again.”
“Are you kidding?” Mabel protested, gaze now shifting around their feet and the rest of the stage. “I barely managed to collect as much as I did before the teachers started catching wind of my thievery!”
Taking care to avoid any of the broken debris, she dropped to her knees and pressed her face against the stage for closer examination. “By the time fall hits, they’ll probably have security guards around every single one of those cheesy pun posters that relate to each class’s specific subject! I’ll never be able to get the new one back to the size of the original!”
Dipper placed a hand on his hip. “You realize that this is a very weird and specific problem that only you could have,” he said, then paused. “You want me to help you look?”
“Nah, nah, you go ahead and watch Soos. Just snap me some pics with my phone.”
Without taking her eyes off the stage, she held out her cell phone to him. “Feel free to add whatever filters you want, I’m partial to the kitty-ears myself.”
“Of course you are.” 
While he hopped down from the stage and headed towards the half-pipe, Mabel continued to search on her hands and knees for the telltale blob. When the stage itself produced no results, she moved to retrace her steps from the stage to the mermaid tank, to the area where she was pretty sure she’d pulled the lump out of her pocket—Soos making them walk around blindfolded had been delightfully quirky at the time, but now it was just making her search all the more difficult—
THUMP!
The sound of something heavy hitting the ground snapped Mabel’s attention towards the edge of the forest, her gaze darting about wildly as she tried to locate the source. A goal that didn’t take long for her to accomplish; a conspicuous black mass was splayed out on the ground between a pair of nearby birch trees.
Her first guess was some kind of animal, until her gaze landed on a small, fleshy hand at the end of an arm. An arm, a head of messy hair, a pair of legs—
“Wait, that’s a person!”
Once her brain put two and two together, Mabel broke into a sprint towards the unknown—potentially unconscious—body. Sure enough, her suspicions were confirmed once she reached it and knelt down to investigate.
They were short, probably not much taller than her or Dipper at full height. And as Mabel rolled their unconscious body onto their back to get a closer look, further similarities between the mysterious person and Dipper presented themselves to her.
They had the same facial structure, their noses were the same rosy shade of peach that was slightly darker than the rest of their face. Even their messy mop of hair fell over their eyes in the exact same way Dipper’s did when he wasn’t wearing a hat, although his usual brown shade had been swapped for a light bleach-blonde that would make the entirety of Sev’ral Timez weep with envy.
Despite the similar physical features—the mysterious person’s fashion sense differed from Dipper’s in every way. Rather than the casual shirt, vest and hat combo that Dipper wore on a regular basis, the person was dressed in a black jacket and pants, bow tie, yellow button up—an unusually fancy outfit for someone who might’ve just fallen out of a tree in the middle of the woods.
“What’s wrong, Pumpkin?”
Drawing her gaze from the body, Mabel looked up to see Stan approaching her with a curious look. “I think someone fell out of one of the trees,” she explained. “I heard a loud thump, and saw them lying here. I think they might be a kid—”
“What’s going on over here, dudes?”
Stan turned to see Ford and Soos coming up behind him, a skateboard tucked safely under Soos’ arm. “I was just gonna wait until everyone was at the half-pipe ramp,” Soos explained. “Dipper said Mabel was looking for something, and I’m in no rush.”
He flashed a grin in Stan’s direction. “Even if I’d love to get to the inside part of the tour as soon as possible, you are gonna flip when you see it, Mr. Pines—”
“What’s wrong, Stanley?” Ford asked, echoing his brother’s earlier question.
“Accordin’ to Mabel, some kid fell out of a tree or something,” Stan said, with a look to Soos. “What, you’re just lettin’ kids climb in the trees around here now? You lookin’ to get sued by some Patsy or Jane with straight bangs and a failing marriage that she insists on makin’ everyone else’s business?”
Soos innocently raised his hands. “I didn’t let anyone do anything, I swear! Maybe he was part of the last tourist group of the day and got separated from them before they left? Haven’t had any parents show up looking for a lost kid, though.”
“Either way, we should probably call 911.” 
Ford knelt down beside Mabel and pressed two fingers to the unknown child’s neck. “Well, they have a pulse so they’re probably alive,” he said, then pulled his hand back. “Of course, a lack of pulse doesn’t rule out the possibility of them being undead. But if they did fall out of a tree, they could possibly have a concussion. So either way, it’s a concern.”
“Well, let’s hope you don’t have to rip out the spine of this one,” Stan said.
While they conversed, Mabel gingerly placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder and gave it a light shake. “Hello? Are you alright?”
There was no response, so she tried again with a bit more force. “Hey, kid, I hope you know that you just fell out of the sky!” she said with a bit more urgency. “Which is probably not out of the norm for kids in Gravity Falls, but still, it’s a little worrying!”
The child remained still for a moment more—
—before their body began to tremble with a quiet chuckle. A quiet chuckle that slowly morphed into a full-on laugh.
Any relief that might’ve started building inside Mabel was snuffed out in an instant as the laughter—that cold, cruel laughter—only grew more vocal, and sent her crawling backwards in a panic as the body slowly rose up from the ground and turned to face her.
Now that Mabel got a better look at his face, the similarities to her brother were so clearly skin deep. Their aforementioned features were the same as before, but Dipper never smiled in a way that revealed all of his teeth and gums at once, like a young child being told to smile for the first time in front of a camera.
Dipper’s limbs weren’t quite as gangly and limp as the other boy’s, like a marionette being controlled by an inexperienced puppeteer who hadn’t mastered the art of making their body move naturally.
And Dipper’s eyes weren’t that terrifying, familiar shade of jaundice yellow, complete with slitted, catlike pupils that bore deep, deep into her very being.
“Grunkle Ford!”
Her panicked shout—one that spilled out of her on complete instinct before she could even process what she was saying—was far from necessary. Ford had completely frozen when the laughter had started, features aghast and grim as he stared at the child, as that wicked, horrible laughter droned on and on—
CRACK!
And suddenly the laughter was silenced, and the same sound of a body hitting a ground as before drew Mabel’s attention back to reality.
The child was unconscious again, now with a decent sized welt on the back of his head. And beside him stood Wendy, the bat from before in hand and her body hunched over while she tried to catch her breath. “Saw…saw what was happening,” she explained between sharp gulps of air. “Heard the laughing. Panicked…”
The only sound to break the silence that followed for a few seconds was the faint rustling of the wind through the trees, until a pair of approaching footsteps against the dirt drew everyone’s heightened attention towards the sound in a panic. 
Much like the others had done, Melody and Dipper were approaching the group from the direction of the half-pipe. Upon seeing their petrified expressions, Melody held up her hands. “Woah, woah, hey, what’s going on?”
From beside her, Dipper lifted up something he was clutching tightly in his hands—one of the discarded planks of wood from the Manotaur’s stage. “I heard Mabel yell and saw Wendy run over here with her bat,” Dipper added. “Thought it’d probably be smart to grab a weapon, too—”
“Get a rope.”
Ford didn’t tear his gaze from the body as he responded in a low tone, as if it would vanish the moment he looked away. As if he, or everything around him, would shatter in an instant if he dared tear his attention away from the body that had previously been letting out that horrible, horrible laughter. 
The laughter that had haunted his dreams for four decades, the laughter still bouncing off the inside of his skull, even after Wendy had silenced the source.
When he didn’t elaborate further, Dipper looked to one of the other adults for an explanation—
“You heard him! Get a rope!”
It was Stan who replied next, and actually spun to face them with a grim expression. “A rope, chains…if it can be used to tie someone up, then get it!”
“It’s code yellow, Melody,” Wendy said quickly. “Soos, do we still got that unicorn-hair rope?”
“Same place as it always is,” Soos said, and looked to Melody. “Come on, we need to hurry—I’ll get the moonstones, you fetch the mercury.”
Recognizing their urgency, Melody looked to the unconscious body on the ground. “...That’s him, then?”
“Did you hear me, I said get a rope!”
It was Ford who spoke again, tone more demanding as he finally tore his gaze from the body to glare at them. “If I have to say it a third time—”
“Oh, okay, yeah, that answers that question,” Melody said quickly, and gestured for the rest of them to follow. “Alright, there’s a rope and a chair to tie him to in the shack. But who’s gonna—”
“I’ve got it.”
Letting the bat clatter to the ground, Wendy scruffed the unconscious child by the back of his jacket and hoisted him up into the air. “Let’s get him inside.”
With mild chaos, the group hurried towards the Shack with the unconscious child in hand. Leaving the bat, Mabel’s unfortunately-missed blob of blue poster tack lying several yards away, and the remaining exhibit displays abandoned as the first real hints of night began to peek their way through the tops of the trees.
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steddieas-shegoes · 10 months
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omg okay, requests are closing soon and i just remembered something i strongly believe is true and now i need you to make it come to life ^^ not requesting through anon this time :D
established steddie, and they've been dating for several months now. neither of the two have said they love the other yet, but as much as steve would love to verbally admit to eddie that he loves and is absolutely in love with him, steve just doesn't. because he can't brinf himself to. he got traumatized after nancy called him and their relationship bullshit when he thought that they were in love. so now, steve refuses to be the one to say it first. cue eddie just spilling out his entire heart to steve and spewing out the most wholesome love confession known to man and erasing the poor boy's worries that he's unlovable
I LOVE SAPPY LOVE CONFESSIONS! Especially when Steve is feeling unsure of himself and his feelings. This has been written in short bursts, so I am so sorry if it feels or reads choppy. Vacation has been surprisingly busier than I expected and the wi-fi has bursts of regular functionality and then sloooooooow as molasses. I hope this works for ya! Also, slightly inspired by the lyrics "you asked me why I wasn't saying a word, I'm naming the stars in the sky after you" from Your Needs, My Needs by Noah Kahan. - Mickala ❤️
----------------------------------------------
If Steve knew one thing, it’s that he was born to love Eddie Munson.
Every other person he loved or thought he loved couldn’t even hold a candle to the way he felt about Eddie.
They’d only been together for a month, but it felt like years, it felt like no amount of time could ever be enough.
He loved him more than anything, more than was probably healthy.
But he didn’t say it.
He couldn’t.
His worst fear, even before meeting Eddie, before loving him, was that he would love someone too much and be hurt again.
Looking back at how he loved Nancy, he knew this would be so much worse if Eddie called him bullshit.
So he just held it in, let himself think it and feel it and know it, but refused to say it out loud, not even when he talked to Robin about everything.
He didn’t think it was possible to pine for someone who was your boyfriend, but that’s exactly what was happening.
But he’d been with Eddie for hours now, and he seemed…on edge.
He was happy, still his usual silly self, but it felt rehearsed, like he knew he needed to keep it up for Steve to not be suspicious.
He wasn’t sure what he needed to be suspicious of, but the suspicion was there.
They had pizza for dinner, too tired from their busy weeks at work to cook, and decided to smoke a bit outside.
Eddie loved watching the stars while they smoked, or at least that’s what he told Steve.
Steve noticed that he rarely actually looked up, mostly spending his time watching Steve.
Steve was looking for constellations when he looked over at a surprisingly quiet Eddie.
Eddie was looking at the sky tonight.
“Everything alright tonight, baby?” Steve asked, concern lacing his voice.
“Hm?” Eddie turned his head to look at Steve. “Oh. Yeah, it’s all good.”
“You’re awful quiet tonight.”
“Am I?”
“Mhm.”
“Guess I’m just busy.”
Steve knew sometimes Eddie’s brain would get busy. He always described it as a traffic jam, where every thought was fighting for dominance, and everything felt equally important even when it wasn’t.
Doing things like this helped.
“Busy?”
“Yeah. See that set of stars right there?”
Eddie reached for Steve’s hand, pointing his finger up so he could find it easier.
“The one next to the Little Dipper?” Steve asked, surprised that Eddie had been so focused on the constellations tonight.
“That’s the one,” he turned back to Steve, squeezing his hand as he rested it back against the grass. “I named it Sweetheart.”
“Oh? I think it probably already has a name, though.”
“It’s not as good as this one. This one is more important.”
Steve watched as Eddie’s throat bobbed with a hard swallow.
Was he nervous?
“Like your guitar?”
“No, like you.”
Steve’s head whipped around again, his eyes wide as he stared at Eddie, who was smiling at the stars.
“Me?”
Finally, Eddie turned to look at him, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, a soft smile still present.
“You’re my stars and moon and sun, Stevie. You’re everything to me. Ever since I moved in with Wayne, I’ve looked at that set of stars and wondered if they meant something. Like, okay, there’s an infinite amount of constellations, and we’ll never know them all, but what about this one specifically? I wanted to know everything, but no one knew, and no books knew, and maybe I just imagined that it was a collection of space dust that actually wasn’t organized together, but just all separated in a perfect shape. And then I got to know you and you were kind of like that set of stars. Maybe you weren’t a recognized constellation, maybe you are just a bunch of stars thrown together in a way that can only be seen and understood by a few people, but it just makes you more special. So a few weeks ago, I was out here alone, while you were hanging out with Robin, and I realized that they’re you. They’ve been you this whole time. I’ve watched them, I’ve seen them change, I’ve seen things around them change, and now I see it’s you. You’re the stars. You’re my stars, sweetheart. I love you.”
Steve sat up, tears falling from his eyes as he listened to Eddie talk about the stars and him.
How could he see him as something so incredible and bright when no one else did?
“You love me?”
“Of course I do. How could I not?”
“I-”
“Stevie, you don’t have to say it back, okay? It’s alright. I just want you to know that I love you and nothing is gonna change that.”
Steve stared at him, trying to think of something to say that could possibly compare to what Eddie had just said.
“I love you, too. I don’t, um, I don’t know if I can find words like that, but I do. I have for a long time. I just didn’t want you to think it was bullshit,” Steve rasped out.
“Why would I think it’s bullshit?”
“I guess because I feel so much? I just let my feelings take over and I guess maybe it seems fake? I dunno. Nancy said-”
“Nancy? As in the girl who cheated on you? Who didn’t deal with her grief right and took it out on you? That Nancy?”
Eddie sounded mad. That was the last thing Steve wanted, so he turned his head away, focusing on the tree in front of them.
Eddie’s fingers gripped Steve’s jaw, turning his face to look back at him.
“The way you feel has never and will never be bullshit, Steve.”
He hadn’t called him Steve since before he was in the hospital.
“Okay.”
“I need you to believe that. You are not bullshit. Your feelings aren’t bullshit. None of what we have is bullshit.”
“I understand.”
“I love you. More and more every single day. Okay?”
“Okay. I love you too. So much.”
Steve let Eddie pull him into his lap, into a kiss, slowly laying back on the grass and pulling Steve along with him.
His kiss turned hungry, teeth pulling Steve’s bottom lip between them, sucking until Steve let out a moan.
“You wanna go inside, sweetheart?”
Steve nodded as Eddie kissed down his jaw, his neck, licking along his collarbone.
“C’mon, starlight. I’ve got a lot of love to show you.”
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deserteye · 1 year
Text
CHAPTER ONE ;; Return to the Falls
DIPPER'S P.O.V.
"It's only been six years since you've been to Gravity Falls, it's fine-!"
"Dip, you're mumbling to yourself again."
Mabel commented, lightly pushing my shoulder.
"Oh, shit- Sorry,"
I laugh nervously, rubbing my wrists.
"You're anxious over nothing Dipping Sauce, it's just the old gang! We saved the world together, it'll be fine."
She reassured. We were about maybe 6 minutes from the stop in Gravity Falls, and it'd been six years since Weirdmageddon. We just graduated Highschool and decided to start our first summer out of school back at Gravity Falls. Mabel kept in contact with Grenda and Candy, and I had Wendy's phone number, but I was always too scared to start a conversation. Mabel says I need to just 'talk to her like a normal person' the same way I did in person, but it's, different, I guess.
"Dipper! It's the sign!"
Mabel jumped in her seat and pointed at the old 'Gravity Falls' sign. I smiled and tried relaxing. While going to high school, I got recommended to a counselor for my apparent social anxiety, which I had no idea I had until someone brought the idea to mind. I've found a few coping mechanisms for my anxiety, and currently, none of them were working for this anxiety.
"Last stop, Gravity Falls."
The bus driver called, and Mabel leaped from her seat, grabbed her suitcase and backpack, and ran out the door, Waddle following close behind her. I picked up my bag and suitcase as well, following her close behind with nervousness running down my spine.
I walked out of the bus to see Mabel group hugging Grenda and Mabel, and being greeted by Grunkle Ford and Stan, Soos, and Wendy.
"Hey, dude,"
Wendy called, grabbing her hat off my head and putting my old pine tree hat back on my hat, pushing the brim of it which pulled a laugh from me.
"Hey, Wendy."
I smiled and blushed awkwardly, putting my hands in my pockets.
"Dude, you hit a huge growth spurt."
She laughed, and Soos stood next to me for comparison, I was almost as tall as him.
"Dude, you're almost as tall as me!"
He commented, smiling and I laughed in response.
~TIMESKIP~
After our little meeting, we decided to walk back to the shack, just to view the changes in town, and see old friends. While walking, there was a new face spotted leaving a grocery store, waving bye to the owner. Around Y/H (Your Height), and S/C (Your Skin Color), they wore a C/C (Color of Choice) sweater and jeans, with a ruby pendant.
"Woahh, who's that cutie?!"
Mabel called out, guess they caught both our eyes. Figures. I discovered I was probably bi in high school, Mabel of course, being omnisexual, was more than supportive, which didn't really surprise me since she cut my hair and helped me bind my chest whenever I found out I was trans. She had way more luck with guys and gals, however.
"Oh, yeah, that's Y/N Sphinx. They don't come into town much."
Wendy explained, putting her hands in her pockets.
"Yeah, they're some kinda hermit, back when I lived here I only saw them out like, once."
Grunkle Stan added, humming suspiciously.
"So, do they not have any friends?"
Mabel hummed sadly.
"No, we have even tried befriending them, and they do not seem interested."
Candy commented, and I noticed Mabel get a sparkle in her eye.
"Mabel." I said sternly,
"Common Dipper! They need a friend!"
She cried.
"Can we at least go put out stuff in the shack-?!"
I plead before she ran off saying "Nope!" in response, and I chased after her, crying out to her.
YOUR P.O.V.
"Finally done with groceries.."
I sighed, thinking to myself, before looking over my grocery list quickly and humming, putting it in my jean pocket, and I continued walking. I was never a fan of socializing or being out in the town, nothing against the townsfolk. Lazy Susan was a sweetheart, and funny enough Tyler Cutebiker, now Mayor Tyler Cutebiker, and I got along pretty well, I just always kinda got drained from talking to almost anyone besides forest creatures.
"Hey, hey, heyyy!"
I heard someone call out to me and I turned around, stopping in my tracks and looking at the brunette girl who approached me, wearing a pink sweater, and a very similar boy following behind her, having to lean down and take a breath.
"Um- Hi- Can I help you-?"
I asked nervously.
"Hi! I'm Mabel, Mabel Pines, and this is my brother! Dipper!"
Mabel responded, introducing the two of them. She put her hand on her brother's back, patting it while he struggled to breathe. I smiled nervously, laughing lightly at Dipper's struggle for breathing.
I could instantly tell their dynamic, Mabel is the heart and Dipper is the brain, Mabel probably drags them into chaos all the time. I really gotta write that dynamic sometime..
"Hi, I'm so sorry about my sister,"
Dipper apologized, standing up to his full height, he's much taller than I thought- He coughed nervously, putting his hands in his pockets and avoiding eye contact.
"Oh, you're alright- You said 'Pines' right-? Are you related to the Mystery Shack guy?"
I asked, being polite.
"Yeah! He's our Great Uncle Stan!"
Mabel smiled, placing her hands on her hips.
"Oh, cool-! So, can I help you with anything-?"
I smiled nervously, not sure what to do.
"Uhh nope! I just wanted to say hi and compliment your sweater!"
Mabel added, having a bit of a jump in her step.
"Oh, I see- Thank you, my sister made it for me."
I laughed awkwardly, holding my grocery bags in both hands in front of me. We stood in awkward silence for a moment, clearing affecting Dipper and I more than Mabel, before I broke it.
"Well, thank you-! It's been a pleasure but I should be off, uh bye-!"
I stammered quickly before walking off around the corner. Once I got around the corner I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.
The twins stood there, Mabel and Dipper looking at each other in confusion about the sudden hurry to leave.
[A/N: bit of an extra long chapter since it's a bit late! ^^']
· · ─────── ·⃤ ─────── · ·
Next Chapter | CHAPTER TWO ;; That Old Statue
Last Chapter | PROLOGUE ;; An Axolotl's Assignment
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moonflwer-gutz · 1 year
Note
funniest possible hcs for each mandela character you can think of. go
adam - hes a "passenger princess" simply because every time he gets behind a fucking steering wheel, the car becomes a goddamn death machine. its not that he can't drive, he just has no sense of self-preservation and drives like a lunatic. jonah let him drive the van ONE TIME. never again. never. again. only in emergencies, which is why jonah tries to make sure that emergencies never happen-
jonah - Pokémon card collector. like. religiously. he's got them in cases, he's got them graded, PRESERVED. he's got an entire corner of his room dedicated to his cards. he'd die if anyone touched them like. he's got the cards he plays with and the cards he saves.
sarah - regularly quotes/references veggietales much to everyone else's confusion and annoyance. "esther from veggietales made me realize I was a lesbian." "SARAH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT-" yeah. veggietales girlie.
evelin - she's a theater kid.
mark - he very much praises using good language and "not using the lord's name in vain" with other people and will yell at others for cursing. BUT HE HAS THE WORST FUCKING MOUTH OH MY GOD- over the littlest things too. he stubs his toe ever so slightly and you hear just a SLEW of swears from halfway across the house at top fuckign volume.
thatcher - got the nose piercing because dave dared him to. he cried.
dave - he wears the sunglasses all the time simply because it became a joke between him thatcher and ruth. they never saw him without them on and it became their mission to take them off. think that one scene in the gravity falls short where dipper tries to see stan's tattoo and thinks he's gonna get him in the shower but stan is in there, fully clothed and just goes "ur never gonna see it, kid." Thats Dave with the sunglasses. he just does it bc its funny.
gabriel- acts, carries himself, and talks like Jeff Goldblum.
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raphael-angele · 14 days
Text
Nico is a Baby, Bianca is Alive (ft. Thalia)
Stargazing:
Nico: How about that one?
Thalia: Well, that one is the Cassiopeia. See how it's shaped like the letter W?
Nico: Oooh, look! That's the Big Dipper and the Small Dipper.
Bianca: Yeah. They are. Good eyes, Nico
Nico: What's that one?
Bianca:
Thalia: ... *looks at Bianca*
Bianca: That...is Zoë.
Nico: Like Bia and Thalia's friend!
Thalia: Yeah.
Nico: How come I never see Zoë anymore?
Bianca: She's uh...
Thalia: She went somewhere where she's really happy.
Nico: Really?
Thalia: Yeah.
Nico: Will I ever get to see her again?
Thalia: *looks at Bianca*
Bianca: No, Nico. She can't visit anymore.
Nico: Aww. I never got to say thank you
Thalia: Why did you want to say thank you?
Nico: Cuz she lets me see Bianca and Thalia even if they're Hunters of Artemis already. She takes care of you and protects you.
Thalia:
Bianca: Sorry, Nico. She can't come visit anymore.
Nico: Don't you miss her?
Bianca: Of course we do. Everyday.
Nico: So, why can't we just go to her instead?
Bianca:
Thalia: It doesn't work like that, Nico.
Nico: Well...why not?
Thalia: It's just not. She's... She's happy where she is.
Nico: Oh...
Bianca: *deep breath* Alright. Time for bed.
Nico: Awww :(
Bianca: C'mon. We can go again tomorrow night.
---
Bianca, sitting on the roof of the Hades Cabin:
Thalia, finding her: Hey.
Bianca: Hi
Thalia: Thought I might find you here. *sits next to her* What'cha doing?
Bianca: *looks up at the stars* Just talking.
Thalia: *pulls her close to a hug* I miss her, too.
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pariahsparadise · 2 years
Text
starstruck | s. h.
nav. | m.list
requested: nah, i've just been daydreaming about this the whole week so
wc: 0.9k
pairings: steve harrington x gn!henderson!reader
warnings: unedited work, not proofread, swearing, kissing
a/n: this was better in my head. also, i'm literally so in love with steve harrington that it's not even funny. anyways, board exams soon so this is probably the last you'll see of me for a while. OH ALSO, i've literally never learnt astrology before so my information is probably wrong, i got it off wikipedia. so yeah, don't be too picky about that lol
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Steve has no idea how he ended up in this position: stargazing at Lover’s Lake, taking in the beautiful sights of the sky while desperately trying (and failing) to keep his eyes off the real beauty next to him, you.
Your brother naps somewhere to the right of you both, his huffs gentle and features relaxed. You had joked that he was only ever tolerable when he was unconscious, and Steve’s immediate agreement had both of you muffling chuckles into your hands, not wanting to wake Dustin up. Although, this had been all his idea.
Dustin had been the one to drag the two of you out here, talking your ears off about this new telescope Suzie had been designing. He had enlisted Steve’s help early on, so you saw Harrington more around the house than usual, something you didn’t know was possible. The two had holed up in his room for weeks on end, trying time and time again to build a functional model, before finally achieving a working, albeit kind of collapsing, telescope. Dustin insisted they try it out that very night- smart, considering it was held precariously in place by various pieces of tape- and invited you along.
Which brings us back to Steve’s current predicament: you. You look unfairly gorgeous right now, he decides, bathed in the light from constellations he couldn’t name. You’re lying on your back on one of the soft blankets you had the foresight to grab on your way out of the house, him next to you. He can feel the heat of your shoulder as it presses into his, feel the softness of your thigh when you shift to get more comfortable, the blanket little protection from the rocky ground underneath you.
“Look!” you exclaim suddenly, and Steve’s eyes jump, following the point of your finger to the sky, squinting at the little lights shining in the distance. 
Taking a glance at Steve’s furrowed eyebrows, you explain further, “It’s the Big Dipper. You know, the asterism in Ursa Major?” 
“Oh yeah, totally,” Steve bluffs, wishing he was even half as smart as you or Dustin are. You mistake his cluelessness as disinterest, biting your lip in nervous regret as you say, “Not a big astrology fan?”
“I guess? I never really understood the point of it, or how to tell which constellation was which. I, uh, actually don’t know any.” Steve offers a little quickly, having noted your slightly crushed expression and wanting to be rid of it as soon as possible.
“Really?” you ask him, raising an eyebrow, eyes darting over his face.
“Yeah. Why’s that so surprising?” Steve asks, cheeks heating as your eyes travel the bridge of his nose.
“Because you’ve got so many right here,” you say, your hand coming up to cup Steve’s face delicately, a soft thumb brushing over his cheekbones.
Steve stops breathing.
You don’t notice his still body, opting to continue. Gently, you dot five freckles on his left cheek, before tracing them in a figure. “That’s Aries,” you whisper to him. You gently poke his nose as you shift your hand to the right side of his face. Steve can’t even count the amount of moles you touch before you’re stringing them together, linking them with the warm trail your finger brands on his skin. “Perseus,” you say simply, unphased, while Steve’s heart practically beats out of his chest at the attention and proximity. 
“Oh! And my favourite,” you say, hand cradling his jaw as you crane it up slightly. You tap three freckles in a sequence before tracing them together, “Orion’s belt.”
“I like how it’s hidden away here,” you say quietly when Steve doesn’t move to speak (he literally can’t though, his throat almost hurts with the words warring against each other.) “You kind of have to look a little harder for that one.”
“You’ve really been studying me, huh?” is all Steve can come up with after a few seconds of tense silence.
You grin at him, “You could say that. You have more on your back, by the way. It’s really cool.”
Steve wonders if knocking the air out of his lungs comes naturally to you, considering how easily you always manage it. The thought of you going out of your way to look at him, to really see him, to see beauty, constellations, where others saw only imperfections and blemishes causes emotion to lodge in his throat. “No one’s ever said anything like that to me before,” He admits to you weakly, “I always thought they were ugly.”
You sit up, indignant, aghast. Steve follows your motion with surprise, sitting up next to you, but still wishing you were closer.
“How can you say that?” you choke out the words, your hands going to Steve’s cheeks to once again smooth over the beautiful markings on his face.
“Steve Harrington,” you say quietly. He finds your eyes, the grave seriousness in them strikingly beautiful to him.
The crickets have stopped chirping, and Dustin no longer snores. Or maybe Steve’s just so focussed on you that he’s blocking all other noises out. Either way, when you next speak, it’s all he hears.
“Your face is made of the stars, Steve,” you tell him honestly, “You contain multitudes of beauty.”
Once again, Steve wholly regrets not being as intelligent as you, as poetic. But when his lips touch yours, unable to hold back any longer, when his hands slide around your waist, fitting into the grooves there that may as well have been built for him, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nothing matters except for you and the stars, the ones you make him see.
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tswwwit · 8 months
Note
I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.
It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.
The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.
Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!
For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.
#answers#Dipper doesn't like seeing his husband get hurt. Yes Bill likes pain and all but only contextually. And he's immortal.#But Dipper can't help but cringe and wince on his behalf anyway. He talks a lot of shit but he really does love his bastard husband#When it comes to most of the the Ford situations#Bill gets to have fun with those#Dipper's ready to argue on Bill's behalf. Most times. Yes a little head-explodey doesn't keep Bill down but Dipper is NOT a fan#Catch Bill standing just behind Dipper - or even leaping up into his arms and nearly making him topple over -#Only to look very self-satisfied. Going :3 'yes I am babey'#Looking like the perfect innocent cherub he absolutely isn't gets on Ford's nerves in a HUGE way#Both super obnoxious AND it makes his mortal roll his eyes at him. SO fun!#For other times he gets defended it's Bill's turn to roll his eyes#But goddamn if it isn't cute as hell. PLUS it's one of the rare times he actually sees Dipper really riled up#Not in like a flustered argumentative type of way. In an actual Fuck You You're Going Down kinda way#Real stupid that Dipper keeps doing this. But real hard to oppose it when Bill gets such a view outta it!#Also concept: Dipper trying to shield Bill while he's in his real form and feeling a moment of 'oh no' when he fails#Only for like. The knife to go 'tink' off his surface. Bill looks unimpressed#Another reminder for Dipper that yeah okay Bill can handle himself. He feels pretty dumb about it#That's okay DIpper you mean well! Bill will still smooch you for trying#APPROVED.jpeg implied but not included due to me adding too much text
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sexy-sea-basss · 4 months
Text
Thank you @jesusbutbetterrr and committee for creating Ghoulette Appreciation Weeks!!
It’s my first writing challenge and i’m so excited!! I’m gonna do my best to do them all!
Week 1: start of something new & girls night out/in
Read on AO3 or below :) the cut is to save space
Shine Brighter than the Stars In the Sky
Wednesday was the girls day to do whatever they wanted. They were free of chores and responsibilities. Girls day would consist of spa days, going out to the club, movie nights, exploring downtown, getting drinks. This particular Wednesday they didn’t feel like going out or doing something busy. No one really wanted to do anything. Mist suggested a sleepover in the sunroom so they could stargaze. Everyone was on board. Aurora tidied up the space and moved furniture around with Cirrus help. They laid down blankets, pillows, and stuffies. Mist got the wine and glasses, as well as set up the timer string lights so they’d turn off at 11pm, prime time for stargazing. Cumulus, Sunny, and Mountain prepared individual grazing boards as well as put a few pizzas in the oven. Mountain had harvested some fresh fruits and berries so he helped cut them up and place them on the boards. He helped carry all the food in and wished everyone a good night.
After bringing in the food, the lights were turned off, and they all ate and enjoyed each others company. They talked about the books they were reading, the spicy scenes and general girl talk. At 11pm, the string lights turned off and their attention turned to the sky.
“Aurora, do you see that shimmering light to the left,” Mist questioned. “Yeah,” Aurora replies as she searches the sky to find it. “That’s the Orion nebula. It’s pink, it reminds me of you. It said to be the middle ‘star' of Orions’s sword. Follow it up and you see his belt. The mighty Orion holding up his shield. Did you know he has his two dogs with him?”
A collective 'aaww' followed. Everyone busy appreciating the stars above.
“Oh! There’s Cassiopeia! See that W? That’s her.” Cirrus pointed.
“Ah, do you see Ursa Major? If you follow the end of the dipper straight across, you’ll find the tail of Ursa Minor,” Sunshine added.
“Sunny, can you tell us stories about the constellations?” Cumulus asked.
“Why of course,” Sunny sat up and got comfortable in her blankets. “Cassiopeia was a queen in ancient Greek mythology…” Sunny began.
As she continued recounting the story of Cassiopeia, she would hear soft snores coming from her right and her left. “She is condemned to circle the pole forever, and spends half the year upside down as her punishment. And that’s the story of Cassiopeia”
Everyone had settled into their blankets and fallen asleep to Sunny’s soothing voice. “Thank you my love,” Cumulus whispers before succumbing to sleep.
“Anything for you my star”
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ceruleanthiing · 17 days
Text
Who wantss to help me come up with a ship name for mudshock+geode because. I have many (sort of uncoordinated) DR mudshock+geo thoughts if yall want em. Spoilers ahead btw
Vivid scene in my mind that’s making me wish I could write: Nya reassuring Cole she is not upset that he has fallen for someone new since the merge. Bc he may have this fear that she and Jay will just think that this means he moved on or forgot about them or sth. But Nya makes sure he knows she trusts him and knows he still loves her n Jay.
And also her telling Cole that like… her only issue with Geo is that she doesn’t know him. But she can get to know him. And in fact she wants to, because she feels that if Cole can love someone and vouch for someone, then surely they’re good. And yeah. Geo is so so good..
You cannot tell me Cole didn’t talk abt his husband and wife nonstop to Geo n Bonzle n the finders in the land of lost things. bc they are his World. And of course the rest of the ninja+buddies. And it’s partially one of the things that has Geo falling for him because ohghhhh that’s a man who loves and protects so strongly so brightly so fiercely, this is someone so steady and nurturing.
I also just think Nya would like Geo. They would be buddies i think. Dr please let them interact I’m begging… they can share a spouse because I said so
Geo being a bit… intimidated? By Nya at first? If that makes sense? Like. He is secretly afraid she’s like jealous or sees him as in her way or fears he’s somehow keeping Cole from her. But then they hang out more and he’s like oh no wait she’s cool as fuck just blunt and not always great at articulating herself.
Bonding via sparring please (let Nya and Geo spar 2024) (let Cole and Nya spar they missed each other so fucking badddd it would be gay as hell)
And of course of course of course Nya and Cole wondering when their wife (Jay) will return from the war (being a missing person)
They’re both barely holding it together but I think Nya less so/worse because she’s had her brother taken from her and things are sorta compounding. Obviously Kai mattered to Cole as well but like dude Kai n Nya are like dipper and mabel levels of tight so it’s hitting her noticeably and. Cole is doing his best to comfort n ease her mind or distract, bc he likes to be people’s shoulder to lean on, but he’s falling apart at the seams himself. At which point I see Geo feeling rather helpless and like he can’t help them. He tries though.
But anyway. On a lighter note. Suit Jay when two buff hot people he’s never seen in his life scoop him up and take him home saying you’re all married and this is the way things are supposed to be: okay yessir yes ma’am 🫡 can’t complain. Nice arrangement 👁️👁️ fine by me 👁️👁️
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piss-pumpkin · 2 months
Text
☄️Fireworks and Fallacy🩷
Douce amere chapter 10, older!dipper pines x reader, masterlist prev
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“America!” Mabel shouted. 
Dipper mumbled, shifting slightly beside you. With eyes crusted shut, you couldn’t see his expression. Not like you needed to. “Fuck off,” he grumbled, 
“What he said,” you mumbled, throwing your arm over your face to shield yourself from the light.
                                            …
A party it was. Crowded, loud, fairly fun, a positive vibe. Mabel may have mixed the Fourth of July up with new years, and insisted that the fireworks wait till midnight. That sure was something. 
You sat with Dipper on the couch, Mabel’s mystery punch swirling in cups you both held. As the light hit it you were sure you saw some glitter. You leaned against him, and chatted idly as you both watched people dance wildly and drink just the same. Across the room, you spotted a familiar, probably fake, blonde head coming towards you. 
“Hey, Pacifica, you made it!” You said, grinning up at her. Your smile faltered for a moment though. Did she know you and Dipper were together now? You pursed your lips. 
She smiled, “Hey losers.” She turned around and sat beside you, and a drop of whatever was in her solo cup splashed your arm. “What are you guys doing just sitting here,” she asked. 
Dipper chuckled, “Watching the crowd.”
You smiled, pushing the thought down, gesturing at the people, “okay, settle this,” you started, laughing. “Who here is the final girl if there’s a slasher-esc murderer in the woods.”
”They don’t technically need to be a girl, also,” Dipper added. 
Pacifica rolled her eyes, and eyed the dance floor. “Isn’t it always the quiet nerd one’s?” She asked, brow furrowed. “Maybe Candy.”
You raised your  finger gun in the air, and pointed at the people, “That’s in movies, we’re talking real life,” you said. “And real life I go Grenda any day, look at her,” you zeroed in on Grenda, who was carrying Mabel on her shoulders, Candy in her arms, and still dancing.
Dipper chimed in, “I’m still team Wendy, she literally has years of apocalypse training under her belt.”
”But does she have the spirit,” you pondered, watching Grenda.
Pacifica smiled, “I think the person who runs away first probably survives,” she pointed at the corner of the dance floor, where Toby Determined was awkwardly shuffling. “That guy is sprinting out of here as soon as the murdered gets in.”
You gasped, “Don’t slander out boy bodacious T!” 
“He stays to fight and dies first,” Dipper laughed. 
Before Pacifica could respond, the music changed. You glanced at Soos, the DJ, as he talked to the crowd, yelling some sentiments about turning it up. You winged as the song shifted into awful blaring EDM. 
“Do you guys want to get out of here?” You asked. Pacifica and Dipper, Dipper and Pacifica. Here you were, slumped on a couch on the quiet side of a party, their voices being the only ones to cut through the music. Anywhere could be a party with them. 
They glanced at the party, then back to you, and each other. A grin spread across Dippers face as he turned to Pacifica, “Have you ever been on the roof?” 
She pursed her lips, surely fighting her bred in instincts as a born rich girl, opposed to danger. “I haven’t,” she said, folding her arms and raising her brow. You could swear you saw a tint of pink cross her cheeks. 
You looked at the floor, playing with your thumbs as Dipper told her about Wendy’s work break hide out. Pacifica, who kinda liked Dipper. You shook your head, and smiled, “we could start the fireworks early.”
Her eyes widened a little, and the corners of her lips started to tug. “Oh god, what do you guys have?” she hesitated, leaning closer.
You snickered, “no idea, but we could go find out.”
”Yeah, Mabel got… stuff,” Dipper added. “Only she knows… and I guess Ford, since she had him make some.
A cheeky smile crossed Pacifica, and she opened her mouth to speak, raising a finger in the air as if to cut in with some intelligent revelation. 
“-no, no don’t even think about it,” Dipper spat before she could, hands moving in several directions at once.
You squinted, shaking your head, “no, do go on, please, I’m rather curious now,” you laughed, scratching the corner of your lips.
“Ford is the hot one.”
Dipper groaned painfully as you grimaced, “ugh,” and shot her a look. 
“What, tell me I’m wrong!” 
“You’re wrong,” both you and Dipper said immediately, him with exasperation, and you with a hint of laughter. 
“Ugh, whatever,” Pacifica sighed, leaning back away on the arm of the couch. “You guys were showing me the roof?” She shrugged.
You stood up, pushing off Dipper in the process, earning a small grumble from him. You shot your hand out to help Pacifica up, “Come hither, m’lady and I shall escort you there.”
Dipper very quickly uttered, “gross.” As he got up on his own. “M’lady.”
Pacificas lips were curled forcefully down in an exaggerated look of disgust. She took your hand none the less, thought, letting you hastily pull her up. “Yeah, that’s what my servants used to call me.”
You started to walk for the roof hatch, finding your way through the crowded rooms, and vacant halls until the gift shop door. 
“I’ll meet you guys up,” Dipper said, wandering away to the bathroom.
You pulled the ladder down from the roof as you nodded to him. Not that he saw, back already turned away as he went. 
When he was gone, Pacifica spoke. “Okay, now that he’s gone, you agree with me right?” She asked, hand in her hip. “About Ford being the hot one.”
You cringed. “I mean I guess between the two of them,” you said, shaking your head. “But me personally, I think neither of them are at all attractive.” You looked down at her as you climbed the ladder, “maybe I’m the weird one.”
She snickered, “Yeah, you must have an awful type.”
“Well you’re one to talk,” you laughed, climbing through the hatch as Pacifica followed behind. You cringed again, stopping with your feet on the last rung of the ladder. 
“What’s up,” Pacifica asked. You looked outside, suddenly aware of how you were blocking the way. You hopped up and sat on the edge.
You weren’t trying to remember your mutual crush. “Um-,” you started, feeling the soft wind of the roof on your face. “Me and Dipper are actually dating now…”  you said, rubbing the back of your neck as she sat down beside you. “Um…” you started, trailing off. “We’re, like- cool, right?” 
Pacificas eyes pressed shut for a moment as her face met the cold. Sighing with a smile, she elbowed you. “Yeah, duh,” she shook her head. “It’s fine, I’m just kinda surprised you didn’t tell me already.”
You scratched your head, fingers tangling in hair. “We’ll, it’s kind of a new development, actually.”
Pacifica raised an eyebrow, “oh?”
”Like,” you smiled into your hand, “a couple days ago, I guess.” 
Pacifica didn’t surprise you per se, but she did make your heart beat a little faster. “I’m happy for you two,” she said, smiling over at you as she leaned back in her hands. “You’ve been pining forever.”
”I-“ you started, fingers twitching against the shingles. “I know you kinda liked him too,” you said, looking over at her in he dim light. 
She tilted her head, “I can get over that, Y/n, chill out,” she snickered. “I’m like the hottest girl in Gravity falls, I can find a rebound if it comes to it.” You pursed your lips, looking back into the dark silhouette of the tree line. “Besides,” she said. “It’s not like we’ve ever let this get between us before.” 
“I guess that’s true.”
Pacifica shoved you lightly, “yeah, I’m always right,” she huffed. “You have to get used to that eventually, Y/n.” 
“Bitch, I don’t think I ever could,” you snickered. A gust of wind blew through your hair, sending it flying into your face. You carefully ran your fingers through it to brush it back to place. “It’s baffling every time.”
She shrugged, “One day you won’t be surprised when I prove to be the most wise person you know.”
”That is a very impressive title to give yourself,” 
Before she could quip back, the hatch to the gift shop flew open, and out came Dipper.
”Shit, we should have put something on the door,”Pacifica snickered.
Dipper shut it behind him, and stepped over to sit almost between you and Pacifica. Much closer to you than her, and back a little, to form a cute little friendship triangle. As he sat down, your lips curled up against your will. He sat close enough to feel the heat coming off him, escaping his sweater. “And leave me down there with Mabel’s scary friends?” Dipper scoffed, hand on his heart. “Cruelty.”
You gasped pointing accusingly, “Hey they’re cool!” 
Pacifica rolled her eyes, “yeah, how much scarier than zombies or vampires, or all that shit you deal with can they be?” 
“I think Grenda head butted a hole in the wall just while I was down there,” Dipper winced. “Let’s all pray for Mabel tomorrow when Stan notices.”
You laughed, and your hand flew to your mouth. “Oh my god,” you said, grabbing his sleeve your your free hand. 
“Yeah I actually saw her like,” he shook his head, “hang the boat painting from our room on it to cover it up, we’ll see how long that lasts.”
Pacifica groaned, “God if that were me I’d get murdered.”
                                            …
Eventually, Pacifica had to leave, cursed never to stay the night because of her parents strictness. And the fireworks started, continued, and kept going, spiking at midnight as if it were the turn of the century. The party downstairs popped and fizzled and eventually quieted down as maybe half of them seemed to crash. And on the roof, watching the fireworks, you and Dipper clinked red, white and blue popsicles like a cheers.
“Your lips are purple,” you said, smirking slyly. A red firework went off as you looked at him, and lucky for you, the reflection of its glow was easily seen on his eyes. Big brown eyes. You could feel the smile tugging at your lips grow as he grinned at you. 
“So are yours, idiot,” he said, flashing a smile with his coloured teeth. 
You leaned your head on your shoulder, “hey, I never said it was a bad thing, I’m just pointing it out.”
”No, bitch,” he laughed, “you were gonna try and make fun of me.” He covered his mouth with the hand that held his popsicle as he snickered. In the faintest corner of your eye, you saw it begin to drip, fuelled by the movement of his hand. 
You pursed your lips a second without responding, and quickly moved you hand under his to catch the drip. 
He tilted his head at you, brow raised. Once again a firework, blue this time, crashed and exploded through the sky. And once again you watched it second hand through his eyes.
Timidly, you held up your hand with the red spatter of the popsicle to him. “It would have landed on your shirt,” you said, “might have stained.”
“I-“ he started, blush spreading across his cheeks, made even more prominent by the red light of a firework flashing over him. “T-thanks,” he sputtered, small smile on his purple stained lips. You were staring. The purple colour was deeper at the centre, fading out toward the edges where they were almost still pinkish.
You smiled, and licked the melted popsicle off your hand, “well, you know me, I’m too kind.”
Dipper threw his hands to his face, and smooshed his cheeks together, “Oh my god, Y/n,” he started, but just as quickly trailing off. 
“Uh-“ you stuttered, tilting your head. “What, was I too kind for you?” 
Dipper chuckled awkwardly, clasping his hands together as he threw his head back. “Honestly?” He rubbed the back of his neck, and a green firework lit up behind him. “Kind of, yeah,” he groaned, smile alight on his lips. “It was, uh- really cute.”
You almost smirked, but grew into a crooked grin. Shaking your head, you teethed the last of your popsicle off its stick. Your cheeks felt hot, and you started to snicker, “Just like you,” you said, booping his nose. 
A gust of wind blew between you, ruffling his and your hair. The purple of a firework cast a cold light on his face, but couldn’t mask his warm blush. With his free hand, he covered his eyes, leaning into his hand. “Y/n, why do you try to kill me?” he asked, smiling hard. 
You laughed, “bitch, if this is killing you, you better be glad you pdidn’t notice my flirting earlier.” You eyed the last piece of his rapidly melting popsicle, and contemplated. “If you had, I think you would’ve had a heart attack,” you teased, leaning in closer while he was looking away. 
“I honestly might’ve,” he smiled, dragging his fingers down his cheeks. His eyes widened when he saw you were closer, and his sheepish smile grew. “I still might,” he said, trailing off. 
“Here’s hoping,” you laughed, stealing the last bite of his popsicle, a theft made easy with your closeness. “There’s still time.”
”You see, this is what I’m talking about, Y/n,” he said, talking with his hands. “Honestly, it’s like you don’t even like me,” he chuckled.
A blue… firework? Went off in front of you. Certainly one that Mabel commissioned from Ford, because the sparks of colour flew off and exploded again, creating a chain reaction through the sky. Your eyes were wide and in awe, distracting from whatever your response could have been. 
“Pretty,” Dipper said. 
You glanced over to him, and saw the last of the blue sparks go out in his eyes, trained in yours with a sweet smile across his lips. Fuck. He was not looking at the fireworks. “That is the most corny ass shit you’ve ever said,” you blushed. Suppose it didn’t matter how corny it was, it seemed to work. 
He smiled, and shrugged, “is it working?” He leaned closer, putting his hand back on yours. 
“Uh huh,” you said sarcastically, leg bouncing with excitement and adrenaline. The sounds of the fireworks and the dying party fading away. “I guess I’m just a corny type of fella,” you laughed, leaning closer. 
You looked up at him, and his blush was overwhelming. You were sure yours was the same way in his eyes. He laughed softly, and rested his forehead on yours. “I’m shocked you liked that.”
You let out a low laugh, “I’d like pretty much anything you said, man.” Your eyes, nearly closed, drifted again to his purple lips. 
“Yeah?” He asked, surprisingly sincere and sounding surprised. 
“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes as the fireworks went off around you, providing one last flash of light before it went dark. 
“Y/n?” He asked, raising his other hand to your shoulder, and moving it slightly to rest on your neck. He didn’t need to ask the rest of the question. You knew. 
“Yeah,” you nodded, brining your hand up to hold his arm. 
You felt him breathe a silent laugh as he grinned, and you couldn’t help do the same. You giggled, starting to laugh as your hand glided across his arm and over to his cheek. Dipper laughed with you, thumb gently moving across the small hairs at the back of your neck.
And then, after yeas of pining, it happened. You won. So did he. Your lips connected, yours on top. You smiled into the kiss. So did he. You scooted closer, and snaked your hand around to the back of his head, fingers in his hair. 
“Aaaaaauugaaaahaagh!” Mabel screamed. 
You broke away in a blink, jumping back and putting a few feet between you and Dipper. Eye flashing open, you saw he did the same, blush dusted on his cheeks. When the fuck did she get on the roof?
She was pointing, mouth agape and eyes wide. Her hand flew to her cheek in shock, “Y-you two,” she yelled dramatically. “You’re-“ she gasped again. “Since when?!” 
You snickered, glancing over at Dipper, who looked just a little bit terrified.  just a smidge. You smiled into your hand, taking the lead. “Oh, you haven’t heard?” You asked innocently. 
Mabel pointed harder as she scoffed. “You little fucks, did Dipshit do what I said?!” she gasped. 
“Whaaaaat? Dipper managed, feigning some sort of surprise.
You shook your head, and pushed Dipper over onto his side. He folded his arms, and rolled over slightly to face his sister as he laid. “Don’t mind him, Mabes, he-“ 
“-and you!” She gasped, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Why didn’t you say anything?” She put her hands to her cheeks in a swift motion, “oh my god, you guys were being weird yesterday, was it about this?!” 
You nodded sheepishly, and from the corner of your eye you could see Dipper do the same from the floor. “You know…” you started, unsure how to finish the thought.
“Oh I do,” she said, crossing her arms and turning her nose up at you. “I know so well, believe it or not.”
Dipper chimed in from the ground, “Wait, know what? I lost track.” He shot you a glance, as if to ask. Before Mabel could speak, you subtly shrugged, laughing silently through your nose.
”Everything,” she said. Uncrossing her arms dramatically and putting her hands in the air. “All your little secrets,” she pointed at the both of you, leaning over closer to your level and squinting. “Ohohoh- if I wasn’t thrilled you two are finally together, I would be so upset right now that you didn’t tell me,” she announced. 
You smiled looking up at her, “I’m glad you’re happy then.” You could see the frustration on Mabel’s face struggling to win. She pursed her lips as she pointed harder, and the corners of her lips tugged into a smile. You grinned, “Mabel I did it.” 
“Actually, I did,” Dipper chirped, still laying on the ground. He was rolled over to face the sky now, watching what was left the fireworks
You grumbled, “team effort, team effort.” Dipper put his hands behind his head as a pillow, and snickered as you playfully punched him in the leg. “It takes two to tango, man.”
Mabel cut in before Dipper could banter back. “Okay, guys I get it,” she laughed, lighting kicking Dipper in the arms. He squirmed slightly away, but didn’t resist. “You guys are cute, I admit it, it’s fine.”
“Fine?” Dipper laughed 
“Yeah, fuck you, more than fine,” you laughed. 
This time she didn’t kick Dipper, but you. A shocking turn of event as her foot met your leg. “Yeah, whatever nerds,” she said rolling her eyes as she turned away. You caught a glimpse of a smile on her lips though before she did.
                                            …
The next day was tired. And morning dew stuck around until noon at the earliest, making your small trek through the woods all the more annoying. But alas, ‘twas for a good cause. Venting and talking to nobody in particular. 
Billy was like a journal. He was a place to spew any thought that might odd your mind, or any feeling that might cross your heart. An lately, a lot of that was Dipper related, given your goal for the summer. 
“Lot to unpack, Billy,” you said, circling him intensely. “I did it, I actually god damn did it,” you exclaimed, almost surprised at the events of the last few days. “It’s weird, it’s like… I don’t know.” 
You sat down beside him, kneeling on the dewy grass. “It feels kinda good, but kinda weird,” you thought out loud. You nestled further into the ground, and leant on him. “Like…” you pursed your lips. “I’m a little anxious, cuz it seems so easy. I thought Pacifica might get sad, but no, she was great as always.”
You sighed, bit thrilled at Billy’s lack of encouraging words. “We’ve been friends for so long, not super much has changed from that…” your feet wiggled under you as the won’t up nerves came out. “Maybe I should’ve just been friends, that way the consequences are less if one of us messes up.” 
You looked longingly at Billy, almost jealous of his projected confidence. His hat on his heat, his wife and I afraid eye, his outstretched hand. “I just don’t want to mess up, or something,” you sighed. “I don’t know. It doesn’t even take somebody messing up sometimes, sometimes shit just happens.”
You looked at the ground. The grass was bent and folded around you, and ever so slightly moved by the breeze. You played with a small blade between your fingers. “I don’t want shit to happen to us,” you said. Partly to him, partly to yourself. 
You looked back at your statue friend. “You get it, I’m certain,” you laughed. Your smile fell as quickly as it bloomed. 
Billy looked at you. You looked at Billy. And strangely enough it seemed like he did get it. You smiled, and this time it stuck. You exhaled softly as the noises of the forest seemed to die in your ears. Just you and him, with his confidence, assurance, and outstretched hand. 
“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever shook your hand before,” you thought aloud, eyes drawn to his welcoming and outstretched palm. “Honestly, it looks like that’s what you were made for.”
It seemed as though the moment you uttered the words, the sky darkened as the clouds covered the sun in overcast. Billy’s eyes stared at you, somehow, maybe through you while he waited. 
With a smile, you knelt in front of him, balancing on the balls of your feet. “Like, look at you. That hand was made to be shook,” you laughed, flicking Billy’s eye. 
It was like he could speak. It was like he was a master convincer, the way he looked at you. Like he wanted it. And he was telling you. Like in your heart of hearts you knew, he wanted you to shake his hand. The universe held its breath, as the wind stilled and the forest went quiet. Anticipation. Hesitation. Prayer. 
You smirked, “just cause you’ve been a nice friend, alright?” you said, leaning closer. “I’m not sure why, but I keep coming back to you,” you pondered, “and you’ve been a good sport you, putting up with my complaining.”
You reached. And as you clasped his hand in yours, the universe exhaled, with a sigh, that croaked and wheezed like a dying breath: a prayer unanswered. And the faintest of blue lights sparked across your palm.
“Ow!” You spat, recoiling your hand away, “You shocked me.” Somehow resisting science, he had gotten you with static energy, it seemed. You pursed your lips, muttering, “how’d you even do that, you’re a rock…”
And as if the universe’s last act before plunging into peril, it cried and mourned. 
A cold drop of water hit your face. Than your hand. And then the tip of Billy’s hat seemed to darken as more rain spilled from above. You groaned, “God, like, every time.” 
You stood from the grass, brushing your legs off as you did. “Billy, you’re a bad luck charm,” you gestured around at the weather. “Like, seriously, what the fuck is this?” 
Thunder clapped in the distance, drawing your attention. “Ooooh,” you murmured. You turned back to your friend, “think we’ll get lightning?” 
As if on your cue, as if the universe was at your command, lightning struck behind him, casting a viscous arc above the trees. 
Your hand flew to your face, covering above your eyes as you tried to get a better look. “Holy shit!” You exclaimed, looking down at Billy, “Was that you?” you laughed, waiting for another strike. 
He didn’t answer. Not that you expected him to. But as playful as your question was, you had the faintest feeling it was in fact, his doing. In Gravity Falls, anything could happen. You could have your hunches about your stone made friend. 
“Honestly, Billy, I should probably go,” you laughed. “Knowing me, and knowing this town, I could totally see myself getting struck.” 
Thunder echoed through the area as you started away, waving at Billy behind you. 
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Next
Fellas, that concludes the confession arc. I bet it’s easy to guess what the next arc is. Though fun fact, I was just writing for a later chapter, and it’s gonna be way less Angsty then I’d previously planned. So, like, you’re welcome, ig 💀
Also I’m gonna drop another playlist soon. I made a second one for the next half of the story, cuz the tone shifts for a bit. Next playlist is more melancholic <3
Taglist: @cipheress-to-k-pop @dead-esque
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PROPAGANDA
Mabel Propaganda
"[insert "i am 12 years old" comic]"
"You probably already know about this but back when the series was airing people were really pissed at Mabel because she was supposedly selfish. Yeah ok guys asking for a fucking megaphone to help a merman find his family was TOTALLY unreasonable. Dipper giving up one (1) "date" with a girl way older than him to save Mabel's pet was SO not worth it. (This is sarcasm btw. Side note a lot of these have to do with Dipper's crush on Wendy which is a whole other discussion.) And then there's the big one. Mabel causing Weirdmageddon. What people fail to realize with this is that 1) she was extremely stressed when she handed Bill the rift 2) she was tricked by Bill, a being that is A MASTER AT TRICKING PEOPLE, into thinking that she was being handed a magic solution to what felt like the end of the world to her, and 3) she was TWELVE. Not to pull out the "she is literally neurodivergent and a minor" card but do you really expect a 12 year old who's just been told that she's gonna have to face a big and difficult transition WITHOUT her brother who's been there for her all her life to make a rational decision? Y'all seriously fell for Bill's empty words in Sock Opera. Absolute bufoons. You would not survive Weirdmageddon."
"Oh wow, a preteen girl under extreme distress acts like a preteen girl under extreme distress. Whoda thunk?"
Allison Propaganda
Receives classio fandom misogynoir. She did eventually go down a dark path and do some fucked up things in season 3 (which I have a lot of problems with) but it was met by reactions of "see I knew she was evil all along!" people saying she never changed and was always selfish and terrible: (at the start of her character arc in season 1, she's struggling with the consequences of her actions and trying to be a better person. Among other things, she used her powers of compulsion to force her daughter to behave, which is BAD but it's not inhumanly evil. Can you imagine being an exhausted mom dealing with a misbehaving child and knowing that you have the ability to make them be quiet and do what you want? You really wouldn't be tempted? Anyway, she REGRETS IT.) It was painful near the end of season 1 where her sibling (Viktor, but season 1 was before his transition) was being manipulated by his evil boyfriend into unleashing his powers (sealed because they were dangerous) and turning against his family. Allison tried to warn him and take him back with her. When talking didn't work, Allison felt her only option was to compell him (which works by her saying "I heard a rumor" and then whatever she wants the person to do), and when she tried that Viktor slit her throat. He felt guilty for it but his evil boyfriend led him away and Allison was left there bleeding. People watching BLAMED ALLISON FOR THIS. She was DESPERATE to get her sibling back & away from an evil guy that was leading him down a really destructive path (he caused the end of the world! because of it!) and only tried to use her power after asking didn't work. She did not deserve to be hurt like that. Allison unfortunately was a bad person in season 3. But she sure as hell wasn't always a bad person and I hated seeing so many people say she was, I stopped looking at fandom spaces because of it. She was trying her best and did a lot of good before that."
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