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apomaro-mellow · 7 months

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Wrong Number 2

Someone said they liked when authors put their super-specific jobs in fics so I hope ya like Steve havin a (kinda romanticized) past job of mine.

For the first time in his life, Steve felt like the stereotypical young person who was always glued to his phone. Every time it made a noise or vibrated, his arm shot out like lightning, hoping with every fiber of his being that it was the mystery number.

It had been about five days since he'd sent that first message and he'd been worried about their conversations being stale. But that wasn't an issue. The only times their talks lulled was when they went to bed.

And even that was after texting late into the night. Steve would watch the clock go from 9 to 10 and promise to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. And then it would be midnight and what was a few minutes after that? Then he'd look up and it would be 2 in the morning.

Texting this guy had become the highlight of Steve's days. To the point where he didn't even realize Friday had come until one of his students mentioned it.

Then, purely out of habit, he asked: "Any weekend plans?"

"I've got a soccer game", Zach answered.

"My parents are having date night", Belinda said.

And normally Steve himself would be thinking about going out and finding someone for the night. But the idea hadn't come to him for once. He knew why, but he didn't fully process it until he got home to Robin, who was in the middle of cooking breakfast for dinner it seemed.

Steve was in the middle of replying to a text sent during lunch.

(12:15) I just realized you know about my off the wall job (12:17) But I have no idea what your 9 to 5 is (12:18) Your legally required to tell me if ur famous (12:18) Not bc im a clout chaser (12:19) But bc I might not have a clue who you are

[4:13] Not famous. Don't worry. I'm a teacher.

(4:15) As a former student I apologize

Robin opened the cabinet, looking for pancake mix. “Are you and that girl still texting?”

“Me and the who?”, Steve looked up from his phone.

“That girl? I assume you're finally setting up a date for this weekend?"

"She-" Steve racked his brain for a good excuse. But it was hard to do when the person who knew him the most was staring right at him.

"Whatever flaws of hers you're about to make up, I'm gonna call bullshit because your phone hasn't stopped pinging for days." She started mixing the pancake batter.

Steve looked down at the words on his screen. The one flaw of this guy was that they couldn't meet in person. But maybe it was time to close the distance just a bit.

"She's shy. Might just text a bit more before she's ready."

[4:19] No need for sorries. All my kids are great. But that's probably because I teach their favorite class.

(4:21) Oooh their favorite? (4:21) It's gotta be something like art rite? (4:22) Or are you being a smart ass cuz you teach like calculus or something?

[4:23] I teach cooking 😛

(4:23) Oh shit. (4:24) You're actually the favorite

[4:25] Toldja. Hey quick question and then possibly many more questions.

(4:26) Go ooooon

[4:27] How would you feel about spending the night playing 20 questions? Like are you free tonight?

Eddie bit his lip as he looked at Steve's words. He had picked his shifts this weekend to make sure he had plenty of time to talk to Steve. Which meant he was in fact free tonight. He replied as such and Steve said he wanted a little time to take a shower and then he'd be ready.

And because he was a little shit, Eddie took advantage of him being away from his phone.

(4:35) Since you're in the shower, I'm taking the first question. Boxers or briefs?

[4:54] Cheater. And I prefer boxer briefs. My turn?

(4:55) Go for it

Eddie was curled up on his couch, tv low and in the background as he waited for Steve's question.

[4:55] What's your name?

(4:56) THATS your first question? (4:56) Wait we've been texting for days haven't you saved my number? (4:57) What do you have me as?

Steve bit his lip, wishing he could lie to this guy, but he couldn’t. Instead he sent a screenshot of his phone.

(4:59) Misty? That’s the name of the chick?

[5:00] Yeah. But I guess I should put your actual name now, right?

It was a gamble. But this guy already knew Steve’s name. And by this point they’d been texting for nearly a week. He just wanted to know his name. He pushed back the part of himself that said he needed to know.

(5:00) It's Eddie.

Eddie. The guy he'd been talking to was named Eddie. Eddie with the long curly hair and the chunky rings who threw axes for a living. He was a far cry from the soft girls he usually dated. Or the preppy guys he usually dated.

(5:02) Favorite bug?

The question threw Steve for a moment but he decided to humor him.

[5:04] Bees 🐝I like how fuzzy they are. And I like honey. [5:05] What rings do you have?

A couple minutes later, Eddie replied with an image. It was taken from above and showed his hands lying flat on a coffee table. Steve zoomed to make out the details of each ring. He was also able to see a watch and a couple of wristbands on him.

[5:08] How did you take that picture? With your mouth? 🦭

(5:09) Did you did you just compare me to a seal???

[5:09] What other animal catches things in their mouths?

'I can be an animal with my mouth'. Thankfully, Eddie's fingers weren't as fast as his brain and he didn't send that to Steve. Eddie had in fact put his phone in his mouth the take the picture, having a real 'no thoughts, head empty moment' when Steve asked about his rings.

Steve was letting his own mind wander as he gazed at the picture. Eddie's hands were...his hands were...well they were-

(5:10) Favorite youtuber?

The adoration of Eddie's hands were interrupted by Eddie himself as their question and answers continued. The picture continued as well. Steve sent pics of his favorite pair of shoes, his hair products, and of his neck when Eddie said he didn't believe he had all these moles.

Eddie had sent pictures of one arm, covered in tats, his acoustic guitar, and a super worn copy of Peter Pan.

The hour was growing late and both of them were feeling more bold but at the same time hesitant because it felt like they were close to crossing a line.

Needing an outside opinion, Eddie consulted with The Council (the discord server with his band mates) about whether or not he should shoot his shot. Gareth told him to go for it, what harm could it do? Grant said to do it because it could potentially be the funniest catfishing story. Jeff agreed that he should, if only because their guitarist getting murdered would be a great back story.

With their unanimous approval, Eddie decided to start actively flirting with Steve.

(8:37) Soooooo ya like jazz?

[8:38] I do actually. I really love the piano.

Okay, that one was just practice. Be smooth. Be suave. None of that was in Eddie's wheelhouse but thankfully nothing he said turned Steve away. He always seemed just as eager to reply back.

(9:10) What's your oldest piece of clothing?

Eddie was thinking of his own oldest article a t-shirt that had started out overgrown on his tiny eight year old body but he'd grown into and kept over the years. It was super faded but filled with the memory of the first time he spent more than a couple of days with his uncle.

[9:12] I'd show you, but I'm wearing them right now.

Steve had closed his bedroom door before sending the text. There wasn't anything scandalous but it seemed like it could very quickly veer into that territory. All Eddie had to do was ask. If he wanted to see them, Steve would show it.

'I would like to see it.'

(9:12) I would like to see it

Eddie knew it could be anything. Maybe a holey sock. Or maybe he also had a super faded t-shirt with deep sewn-in memories as well. Maybe he was wearing a class ring?

[9:14] image.jpeg

Eddie was treated (and goddamn what a treat it was) to Steve Harrington's bottom half, barely covered in shorts with a school's logo on them. Thick thighs covered in hair. And a bulge that was there. It was very there. Eddie couldn't overstate how there it was.

He palmed his own crotch before remembering he was looking at a guy's junk and about to jerk off to it in his living room. And he had yet to answer. What was the most respectful way to say 'humina humina humina-wolf whistle-awooga'?

(9:16) Are you trying to kill me Steve?

[9:17] Do you like it?

'Awooga.'

(9:18) ❤️‍🔥 🔥 🥵

Eddie tried to think of any other way to tell Steve how hot he made him but it felt like typing words just wasn't enough.

(9:19) Can I do something insane? (9:20) And feel free to ignore me if it's too much

Steve was lying in his bed, phone of his charger now. Nothing Eddie could do would be too much. He could knock on his door and he would let him in.

[9:21] Go ahead

A second after he sent that, Steve's phone started to ring. It was Eddie. He stared for about five seconds before picking up.

"Hey."

If possible, Steve melted more into his bed. Eddie's voice...he didn't know what he expected but it wasn't that. He said one word and Steve wanted to wrap himself in it.

"That was pretty naughty of you, sending me that pic. I could show up to your school."

"You'd be a few years too late. These are my oldest shorts, remember?"

"Tiniest shorts maybe."

Steve laughed and Eddie was on cloud nine. He was so lost in bliss, he miscalculated and fell off the couch.

"What was that?"

"I uh, I fell. Off my couch."

"Did you fall hard?"

Eddie beamed as he got up and turned off the tv. Now that he had his voice, all he wanted to hear was the man on the other line.

"Oh super hard."

Steve let out a sound from the back of his throat and he wondered if Eddie had heard it. It was honestly amazing how the smallest things got him going. Or maybe he was just that into Eddie.

"You still there Steve?"

....."Yeah. I'm still here."

Part 4

Tag Team (closed)

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If you were tagged but it didn't show up in your notifications, lemme know and I'll do that thing where I tag you in a reblog instead. I know tumblr can't be trusted to function XD

#apo writes #stranger things #steddie #i wanted this out this past weekend #but had other things #anyway i used to work as a culinary instructor #it was for summer camps and after school programs #but my dream was to do it full time at a nice school #ohh the dreams we have in our youth

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bellyasks · 18 days

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i been meaning to do some tummyache prompts for dayssss tummyache prompts at last. nothing groundbreaking or original here im just havin fun [no emeto but it could be implied with some of em]

Your character's belly isn't feeling good. Whether they're trying to soothe it or power through it, they think they're finally starting to move past it, when a sudden case of hiccups attacks. Each unwelcome jolt knocks them further away from feeling okay, and draws attention to them as well. Does anybody notice how bad they're feeling? Do they want anybody to notice?

Your character has been feeling terribly nauseous all day. They can't stand it, and they're utterly miserable, on the verge of crying out of discomfort and frustration. How are they dealing with it? Do they have anybody to comfort them?

Your character is feeling bloated and queasy, but they're trying to hide it while spending time with some friends. Unfortunately, the friends are feeling much livelier than your character. They want nothing more than to lay down and take it easy, but their friends are dragging them around like Spongebob at the industrial park. How long do they last before they have to speak up--or before their belly speaks up for them?

Your character wakes up in the middle of the night with an awful tummyache. Maybe something they ate isn't sitting right, maybe they're coming down with something, but it quickly becomes clear that they're not getting back to sleep easily. Their partner is fast asleep beside them. Do they wake their partner, deliberately or accidentally?

Your character is always whining about not feeling good, and they're usually exaggerating or crying wolf, maybe for attention or to get out of something. This time, though, their belly really does feel awful. It's terribly sore, and they can barely move without being overcome with nausea. Does anybody believe them about how bad they feel? If not, what does it take for someone to buy it?

Your character is on an outing with friends/partner(s)/etc. At some point, their tummy started hurting, but, not wanting to spoil the fun for everybody else, they keep quiet about it. Does anybody notice? How long can they keep up the act?

Your character has been looking forward to a special meal all week, but when the day finally comes, they're feeling under the weather. Maybe they ate a little too much earlier in the day, or maybe they're just not feeling too good, but they aren't particularly hungry at all. How do they feel about the situation? Do they try to eat it anyway?

Your character is stuck at work with an upset tummy, and their boss won't let them leave. How does their bellyache affect their job--or how does their job affect their bellyache? Are their coworkers looking out for them, or getting annoyed that they're moving so slow?

Your character is stoic and stone-faced, never showing weakness or discomfort. Unfortunately, they've got an awful stomachache right now, and it may be starting to wear through their tough exterior. How do the people around them react when they notice? How does your character feel about them noticing?

#prompts #belly kink #tummy kink #stomachache kink #bellyache #belly #my post

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not-your-fucking-kacchan · 2 years

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yO omg i just found ur page and i love it so hi im requesting : )

can i get izuku x male reader (or gn! idrc) where the reader is pretty stoic, like todoroki times a billion, and is only friends (boyfriends LMAO, i should mention id prefer if they r already in a relationship) with izuku, like mutters to him to talk, n just follows him around most of the time, n is kinda insecure since he has a bunch of scars and his arms are messed up because of his quirk (like discoloured skin and such) and because him n izuku are childhood friends hes kinda clingy, and is only soft with izuku

but then one day izuku is kinda havin a tough time, and snaps at the reader by accident (the reader kept clinging to him cause he didn't know where else to go and couldn't read the social cues of izuku being frustrated) and just the most heartbreaking angst with a nice fluffy ending of izuku after like a day of realizing the reader hasn't been clinging to him or talking to him and him going to see the reader in his dorms and just walking in on him curled up with a plushie or smth that izuku bought him n trying to sleep and izuku just breaking

you dont have to do this!! have a great day/night and stay hydrated!! im gonna go stalk ur bnha masterlist now ;)

ndsjafbiw i love angst sm

And feel free to stalk my masterlist lmfao i get really happy when i put more and more stuff on there and it gets longer and longer...

brheupqbufverpw also i was listening to bad habits by steve lacy and i llove you so by the walters and bjhsbafw it set the scene so good yall omg.

Whew this has been sitting in my drafts collecting dust since I lost the motivation to write when my account was nuked, but it's back, so I'm back and you guys can have this as your peace offering :D

Masterlist <3

Warning: Scarring, mentions of vomit...

Izuku x Male!Reader - Quiet

You were practically Izuku's shadow. Everywhere he went, you went too. At the beginning of the year you were incredibly quiet and didn't really react to much. You just kept to yourself, really. You had been suffering with some pretty damn crippling anxiety at the time, and it almost had you staying home and ghosting the entrance exam because you couldn't stop thinking about what could go wrong.

You had nearly forfeited your dream because you were scared.

What if you're too weak? What if they reject you? What if you humiliate yourself?

What if somebody sees the horrible scarring on your arms and says something? It's not your fault you're so hideous, but that doesn't stop you from feeling like it is.

Things stayed that way until Izuku spoke to you again for the first time in a few years, making your little heart thud in your chest as he mumbles and mutters hypotheses about your quirk and about how glad he was to have seen how you'd grown. The boy is so open and friendly, and so talkative that it more than makes up for your lack of input in the conversation. It had been that way before as well.

You both had been childhood friendsat some point, but for some reason you'd grown apart. It broke your heart, but lo and behold the quirkless boy is entering the exam too. Who knows, when you both fail maybe you could be friends again.

At least that was what you'd thought.

Except, you didn't fail. And neither did he.

You had stuck around him after that, following him to class and for lunch until he started to get a little freaked out when leaving for the dorms only to see you still trailing behind. He confronted you and bashfully asked why you've been shadowing him the whole day with an awkward smile, unknowingly hurting your little guarded heart as you realised that your company was apparently unwanted. Of course it was. What were you thinking?

When he saw your dejected face, and felt you practically deflate in front of him, speaking up quietly for the first time the whole day, he immediately felt bad and invited you to his dorm room to talk at you some more, since he knew you wouldn't be replying much.

"S- sorry... i'll go. 'didn't mean to bother you. I just felt safe..."

His poor little (gay, but he doesn't know that yet) heart melted on the spot.

It was from then on that the two of you stayed as close friends again, and Izuku became your safety net. Every time you would panic or cry and cower away in your dorm room he was there, ready to help you challenge your negative thoughts and give you the confidence to step outside again. You had grown even closer than before despite the rift that had previously grown between you.

When he had gained the patchy, discoloured scarring on his arms from abusing them so much with his quirk, he had smiled, and held your arms close together with his.

"We match! ... You still think we're so hideous?..."

Your heart had skipped a beat when he said "we", implying that he would share this burden with you.

Over time, you started to grow closer and closer, until one day, you cleared your throat to speak while sitting in Izuku's bed with him, some random hero documentary playing on his TV. He immediately shut up at the time, listening to you speak because it's so rare that you'd break your silence unless you were with him and he was honoured that he was the one to make you feel that comfortable, and you would never forget how his cheeks started to glow when you confessed to him that day. He was so proud that you were able to tell him, and immediately accepted your confession of love.

Ever since then you had hung around him at all times, clinging to his blazer with an outstretched hand when the halls got busy and even following him to the bathroom, his blush ever present every time you did. He didn't truly mind though.

But today, he had been in a rather sour fight with Bakugou, and he was reeling. You had never really been privvy to social cues, so when he let out frustrated sighs and huffs, and held his head in his hands during break, you just thought he was feeling a little off today.

Discoloured, scarred fingers reach out to hold onto his blazer sleeve when you start to feel a little unsettled, huddling close to him and showing him your affection, but he does not take kindly to it.

A sharp smack fills the silence of the room as Izuku swats your hand away harshly, growing irritated with and overstimulated by everything around him. You know he must have been having a bad day, but it must've been you. You didn't realise that you had ruined his day and part of you almost thinks of this as his way of breaking up with you, but you don't have much time to think on it before your boyfriend is yelling at you.

He had never yelled at you before.

"What's is it now?! Can't you see i'm not in the mood?! I can't do this right now. You don't have to cling to me every second of the day!"

Everything feels numb when, for the first time ever, Izuku raises his voice at you. He definately wants to break up. Didn't you hear, idiot? He said he doesn't want you near him anymore. He doesn't like you anymore.

It doesn't even take a second for the overwhelmingly depressing and intrusive thoughts to infiltrate your mind and swarm you, and you freeze up as he walks away from you, your throat suddenly closing up as your eyes sting from the salt in your tears.

For hours you sit alone in your bedroom, curled up under your sheets and crying so hard you almost vomit. Of course he doesn't want to be with you anymore, look at you. Your face is bright red and your skin is raw and sore from all of the tears and the wiping of your face. It hurts. And it looks like it does too.

You curl up into a large dragon plush that Izuku had won for you at an arcade date the two of you went on. It was one of your first dates and still remains one of the best memories of your life. The fur of the plush is absolutely ruined with snot and tears, and your voice is hoarse and it carries in your cries how torn apart you are. It's sad, the first time you've used your voice this much in such a short space of time is when your crying into a plush over your boyfriend. Or your ex.

Your hair is slick with sweat and tears and a few strands cling to your face as you cry, and you're completely exhausted by the time midday rolls around.

The next day, you skip school and stay in your room, your head pounding from the dehydration of crying out all the fluids in your body. You're only brought out of your trance as you hear a tentative knock on your door. Is the school day over already? Oh...

You didn't even bother to go to dinner, and you haven't eaten all day because you hadn't the guts to come out and face everyone after sonething like that. You may be a strong hero, but without Izuku, your crutch, you felt like nothing.

The last thing you expect to see is Izuku walking in to find you curled up in your bed, in a state worse than any he's ever seen you in. Considering that he's seen every one of your panics attacks since you had grown close, that's saying something.

Immidiately he's by yourside, relising how bedly he had fucked up. You were still cradling your hand close to your chest in an effort to stay close to the last place he touched you.

The freckled boy had come to apologise for snapping at you the way he did, but he never expected it to be this bad, and he truly worried when he didn't see you in class this morning. He felt unsettled not having you there beside him since you were both a package deal, and everywhere you went, you went with Izuku in tow.

His heart just about shatters as you look up at him with confused eyes, the colour in them appearing so much more intense with the flood of emotion and the redness of your sclera. your eyelashes are dark and bunched together with little tear droplets and the image is so etherial to him. He's so in love with you that it hurts, and there's an uncomfortable tightness in his chest and a lump in his throat at the sight of you like this. The second he saw you curled up and crying into his plush his heart had dropped to the floor and he had physically felt it.

In seconds he's apologising and tearing up, crying with you while he gets under the covers to cuddle.

"Baby, I- i'm so, so sorry! I never meant to hurt you like that, I swear! I was stressed and I took it out on you- i'm sorry! I've been a horrible partner- but i'll make it up to you, I promise..."

You didn't doubt him. The boy was torn up about how he treated you and the relief and comfort of finally being back in his arms again, coupled with the realisation that he didn't break up with you had your heart stuttering and racing and a hundred miles an hour while you cuddle the fluffy haired boy.

Your hands are already buried into his hair and he practically whines as you press your forehead against his under the sheets. As he rambles about how sorry he is you just scratch his scalp, still recovering from the heartbreak of what you thought was a split between the two of you, and you say nothing back.

Izuku knows you though, and he knows your silence isn't one of rejection. He holds you close with surprisingly strong arms, holding the hand he slapped away in his and trailing his thumbs over the discoloured scarring there. As much as you see Izuku breaking every record with his astounding strength, he's still just that squishy baby in your mind, with hamster cheeks and big, beady eyes that are like glass windows to his soul.

It brings a smile to your face and fresh tears to your eyes. You're so in love that it hurts.

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tteokdoroki · 2 years

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omg have you seen those parents on tiktok where they pack lunch for their kids? i feel like bkg gets a tiktok account dedicated to packing lunch for them, some special tiktoks packing lunch for mama too hehe

please im chewing bricks rn :(( i love this

like katsuki with his cute little set up— his phone with your merch as his phone case on a tripod so he can get the right angles, and such, he’ll always introduce himself as “katsuki bakugou, dynamight, father of three— and no i won’t be yer fuckin’ daddy. ‘m married.” in his gruff voice, which is either sleepy if he’s doing a school run or pretty chipper if it means he gets to see you at the agency.

like okay, bakugou being a stay at home dad after your third kid ‘cause they’re like a miracle baby and he had a serious injury so he’s got time off— and kirishima suggested he make some kind of ‘parent tiktok’ to pass the time when the little one is sleeping. OKAY I DIGRESS BACK TO THE POINT

so bakugou is in charge of making cute little bentos :( two for the eldest whebever he’s taking them to school— preps a healthy main meal and snacks ‘cause “they’re growin’ kids, eat like a fuckin’ rugby team ‘n only two of them can have solids.” but he’ll say it with such pride, because bakugou loves nothing more than his children, if not you.

“kayako’s havin’ extra today since she wanted to try out fer her middle school’s football team. gonna make her something special, for good luck ‘n shit.” STOP? katsuki smiling at the camera so wide as he shows off the fresh batch of strawberries he picked with the kids at the weekend while you were away on a mission. he probably dips them in chocolate and puts them into those cute little fruit cases in the bottom layer of his daughter’s bento— happily chatting away about her, carefully explaining what he’s doing before he writes her a sweet note like.

‘good luck princess, knock ‘em dead - love dad’

in one of his other videos, katsuki rants along about his middle child— his son, the picky eater and how much you worried about him when he first started eating proper foods, you’d both tried everything until he was old enough to have rice and bakugou’s mother in law made your son— onigiri. ever since then, big burly dynamight in your cute and kiddy destroyed kitchen goes onto explain, he’d learned every way to make the perfect onigiri for his son and goes onto make them in dinosaur shapes as he packs them up for your boy.

sometimes, in the tiktoks where bakugou visits you at work, he’ll let your youngest sit with him on the counter and eat the veggies katsuki cuts up for the curry for you— he’ll let her help write a chicken scratch note saying they love you. he’ll film both of them walking to the agency with baby girl strapped to his chest and your surprised face when you see the loves of your life :(

it’s just so happy and nice <3

#bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou imagines #bakugou drabbles #tteokdoroki #tw: food #i love them #📧. user anonymous #💌. you’ve got mail

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aphroditesbaby1616 · 21 days

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Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there.

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked.

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes.

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully.

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt.

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly.

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly.

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust.

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully.

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit, “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine.

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused.

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door.

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked.

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras.

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her.

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked.

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on.

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound.

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated.

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt.

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was.

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily.

“It can’t be that bad” she countered.

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit.

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight.

“Told you” he teased.

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt.

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney.

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way.

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased.

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side.

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked.

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing.

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold.

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back.

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked.

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle.

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke.

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained.

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal.

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him.

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him.

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly.

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step.

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk.

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous.

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing.

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled.

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse.

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms.

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd.

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly.

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging.

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop.

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly.

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life.

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade.

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously.

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach.

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too.

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now.

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail.

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased.

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here.

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point.

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life.

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully.

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit.

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked.

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned.

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins.

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready.

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure.

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said.

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes.

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted.

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more.

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm.

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter.

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased.

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said.

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going.

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats.

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding.

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter.

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop.

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor.

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her.

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused.

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing.

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down.

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks.

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down.

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water.

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled.

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously.

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently.

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased.

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said.

“You better have seen a doctor” she said.

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said.

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too.

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious.

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel.

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open.

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around.

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock.

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently.

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders.

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her.

“And what if it is?” He questioned.

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap.

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk.

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased.

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek.

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him.

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans.

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut.

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally.

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push.

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them.

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.”

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked.

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane.

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like.

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least.

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs.

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly.

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel.

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands.

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie.

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again.

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up.

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him.

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit.

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously.

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned.

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment.

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded.

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly.

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips.

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged.

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt.

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair.

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked.

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to.

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

“Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged.

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought- he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna?

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out.

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit.

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged.

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased.

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.”

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.” Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again.

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone.

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned.

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way.

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was,

Admit how he felt to Sydney.

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane.

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window.

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd.

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session.

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot.

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up.

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker.

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly.

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them.

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins.

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her.

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance.

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind. “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡

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player1064 · 2 months

Note

pretty sure i’m just gonna keep spamming you with drabbles asks now 😅 based off that double date w/ jill and shelly any chance for carraville double dating w/ posh and becks, like slightly awkward becks trying to be supportive and posh and carra in the corner laughing it up lol

oh my god I have Got to stop writing drabbles that are like a thousand words long like honestly at what point do they stop being drabbles!!! Anyway! Enjoyed this one a lot (have enjoyed all of them a lot, I LOVE writing these two idiots being idiots about each other)

---

Most of the time, Gary can’t even keep track of what continent David is on, never mind what city he’s in, so it’s a pleasant surprise when he gets to Salford one day to find him sat in the VIP suite, chatting to Nicky.

It’s rare for David to come all the way up to Manchester, rarer still that he has time to check in and watch a game at the lesser of the two football clubs he owns, so thank fucking Christ they actually win this one, else that would’ve been embarrassing.

Not embarrassing for Gary, of course, because he’s got nothing to do with any of it.

When the full time whistle blows, David turns to Gary with a smile and asks “Dinner? Victoria wanted to meet me at some place in town,” and Gary had already had plans but again: seeing David is rare, of course he says yes.

They end up in some posh restaurant that Gary’s not got around to trying yet, mainly because you have to book a few months in advance and he can barely keep track of what he’s meant to be doing on a day to day basis. David doesn’t seem to have a booking, but he walks in and gives the hostess a smile, and after that the best table in the house miraculously frees up.

Victoria sweeps in a moment later, dipping down to give Gary a kiss on the cheek in greeting (which definitely does not make him blush, thank you very much), before taking her seat next to David.

“Sorry to make you wait, babe,” she says to David, “had to drop my things at the hotel and then traffic was a nightmare. How was the game, did your guys win?”

“’Course they did, they’re good lads. We’ve not ordered drinks yet, so do you –”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll just have a –” she’d been rummaging in her bag for something, but she looks up for a second and pauses, frowning at the other side of the table. “Oh. Sorry,” she says, looking between Gary and David with her head tilted in question, “I thought it was gonna be just us three?”

Gary looks to his right and huffs an exasperated sigh. “It was, this one just won’t stop followin’ me around everywhere. Like a lost puppy, really. Becks said we should take pity on ‘im.”

David nudges their leg together, just gently, and rolls his eyes. “This is Jamie, babe,” he says, leaning in closer to Victoria as he speaks, one arm draping across the back of her chair. “Gary’s partner.”

Both Gary and Jamie respond with an “ugh,” at the same time. Gary glances to his right again, smirking when Jamie meets his eyes.

“Partner, honestly, you’re makin’ me sound like a lawyer or somethin’,” Jamie says, holding out a hand for Victoria to shake. “I prefer ‘long-suffering martyr’, if we ‘ave to put a label on it.”

“I’ll show you long-suffering, you twat.”

David clears his throat. “Yeah, uh, he was at the match with us earlier. Gaz wanted to send him home, but I thought – y’know, Jamie’s a nice guy,” (“is he fuck,” Gary mutters under his breath,) “and it’s been a while now, right? So maybe it’s time to sort of – bring him in to the fold, I s’pose.”

Victoria gives Jamie an analysing once-over. “How long’s a while, then?”

“’bout five years now, in’t it?” Jamie replies, looking at Gary in question.

Gary kicks him.

“Oi! Oh my god, how many times’ve I gotta tell you, I am not counting from the time we –”

“Can’t you ever just let the grown-ups talk without havin’ to open your ugly mouth –“

“Five, Gary?” David asks, looking between Gary and Jamie with an expression caught between amused and puzzled. “You told me at the World Cup it was still new, an’ that was only what, a year and a bit ago?”

“Well – well, it was new. In a way.”

“Oh my god, Gary, we’d been livin’ together two years before the World Cup, how’s that new?”

“I didn’t wanna just throw him – sorry, Becks, it were weird enough bein’, like, ‘oh by the way I’m gay’, without havin’ to add a – a proper, like, partner – yes I’m saying partner you idiot because in case y’hadn’t noticed that is actually what we are – into all that as well.”

“No, no, it’s fine Gaz, y’don’t have to apologise, I know it can’t’ve been – easy, for you to –”

Victoria cuts him off with a hum, her brow creased. “But he already knew you were gay?”

Jamie, who’d been about to take a sip of water, barks an abrupt laugh and turns to Gary with a twinkle in his eye. “Did he now?”

Gary kicks him again, just because he’s there and he can.

“Oh, yeah,” Victoria says airily, like she’s not just shattered Gary’s entire worldview with a few simple words. “I remember he said to me, when we first started dating, he goes ‘Gary doesn’t like talking about the gay thing, makes him feel awkward, so we just try not to mention it around him.’”

Jamie is positively beaming at this little anecdote.

“Right, well,” Gary announces, making a big show of pretending to get up from his seat, “I’ll just be off to kill meself then. Victoria, lovely to see you again, give my love to the kids.”

It’s David who grabs Gary’s arm and tugs him back into his seat, mostly because Jamie’s too busy informing Gary that he’ll be playing You’ll Never Walk Alone at his funeral.

“Gaz, it wasn’t – we weren’t making fun of you, we just – figured you’d talk about it when you were ready.”

Wait.

“We?” Gary screeches. “Wha’d’you mean, we?”

“Um,” David says.

Jamie claps Gary on the back as he doubles over in laughter.

#thank you for the prompt!!!! you're right I think jamie and victoria would get on great bc both of their love language is bullying #carraville #drabbles

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kozykricket · 7 days

Text

deltarune rambling time yippee

i think deltarune is in an interesting spot in terms of like... theres a lot of theories that have had a lot of time to develop, and like. i dont think these specific conditions have really happened to a game before. having a big audience of lore nuts AND giving them 2 chapters worth of solid concrete stuff and then havin em wait? its very, very interesting

(rereading this post i think i might reword or add an addendum to it later since i kinda didnt quiiite word my thoughts on Big Theories below exactly right. it feels like im saying that every theory is just gonna be wrong... when i just think that the nature of the lore has a decent chance to be able to almost... parody theorizing, if its based on the nature of fiction and creation. which would make deep theories not WRONG but not RIGHT, just unprovable)

like, ive skimmed through big theories that seem larger than i could even imagine deltarune itself being... not to say i believe theyre entirely wrong, but just that. it definitely wont be explained to THAT degree in game...

what im really tryna say though is, yknow, i distance myself from the bigger theories because im patient and also because i ... dont wanna spoil myself if the theories are perfectly right but especially, a big reason, is the typical classic "don't get your hopes or expectations up" dont get me wrong, ive got big hopes for deltarune and some healthy hype, but i aint gonna get my expectations all fixated on some gigantic theory of the entire overarching metanarrative. i think its great that people are developing so many theories though involving like, the depths and stuff. because worst comes to worst? well, toby fox has just convinced people to write their own stories. and for a game that seems to be shaping up to be about the nature of fiction and creation? seems fitting (genuinely i expect chapter 3 to be the birth of SO many deltarune AUs, out of what is proven wrong or left ambiguous) so yeah, i dont say this to be like "nah no ones gonna be right, toby doesnt have big plans" because im certain he does have some big master plan in the lore but i also believe the lore wont necessarily focus around what we're expecting, if that makes sense. if the game is about fiction, which it clearly is to some degree with the whole. ralsei pushing us down the path of a generic prophecy where we are heroes and vanquish evil... and then immediately dissecting Good Guys vs Bad Guys in ch1 and very much making it a point that we're trying to be kept ON the path of a very specific story. both us and kris.

i think i kinda worded some of this wrong but like TLDR? i do believe toby has big lore plans, but i think theres a decent chance they wont actually get super deep into like, worldbuilding all the logic of dark worlds for example. because... well, the lore could very well be that dark worlds arent logically explainable, yknow. something like the collective unconscious kinda logic. or like terapagos in pokemon being a kind of... paradoxical thing because its born based on belief in it

maybe im wrong thjough. either way, i am excited for deltarune. whatever direction it goes in, ill be happy.

#deltarune #utdr

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party-gilmore · 8 months

Text

absolutely wild learning about my austistic leanings later in life because like

my parents just thought i was “eccentric” and found me rather entertaining, weirdness and all (plus their own probably undiagnosed AuDHD making their benchmark for normal skewed anyway) and my mon specifically was always so “mever change for anyone just be you” from a very young age so i just…

never experienced the concept of masking i guess?

Not as masking, I mean.

i would read accounts from autistic people talking about their experiences and struggles and pressure to conform and masking and the mental effects thereof and i would feel empathy because i “went through similar issues” but i th

i thought i was just being bullied for being Weird. just in general. like kids do. that this was a case of “well this sounds a lot like what i go through, but im not actually autistic so it probably isnt my place to join the conversation.”

it just never clicked that, “um. hi. these are the exact same behaviors you do. and there were moments in your life that almost led you to masking. because thats what it would’ve been. masking. but your dumb ass thought it wouldve just been ‘changing how you act and who you are in order to be bullied less’ which okay TECHNICALLY yes that is an accurate if watered down description of masking too, but.

Then you refused to on principle, because bullying is bad and fuck you and got angry about it to the point of overcompensating and INCREASING your Behaviors (tm) until you completely skipped over one of the key experiences that wouldve helped you identify with other people on the spectrum later in life.”

I just rolled through life like a steamroller of righteous, spiteful confidence that my preferences and actions were nobody’s business but my own and vice versa unless they clearly and directly affected others - so much so that I never actually set any kind of benchmark pattern for the way (NT) people around me act.

So I never had a benchmark for masking.

like im going back through all my memories of friendships that soured because i took everything at face value instead of trying to read deeper into cues. because I would always just say what i wanted people to know, straight up. like if i wanted attention i would ask for it if i wanted them to know i was hurt i would tell them. That made so much sense to me i assumed that was the norm. Because clearly. Thats logical. and obvious. So certainly other people are doing the same.

I got blinsided a LOT by the games my school friends and later some early adult friends played, yeah, but AGAIN (see: steamroller of self confidence) I simply assumed that was THEIR problem, not mine, and just… grieved the friendship and hoped for their sake they’d eventually sort their shit out 🤣

I literally thought they were the ones having difficulty with social contracts and cues and relationships.

Then over the past couple years the more I see accounts from other people in the AuDHD spectrum, like “yeah neurotypicals actually [thing i had been assuming was just an asshole trait for years without questioning it], heres what they really mean and a good script for responding” and “its funny how i [exact behavior i did for years] and no one realized i was austistic till later” im like… 🙃

And the last kicker was the post about food touching with the tag response “sometimes masking your autistic traits ends up more autistic than the unmasked trait” and my gut reactions were, in order:

…why would you bother to mask that, why is the way you eat anyone elses business?

i mean i guess it would ease up the pressure a bit, i got bullied for that too, i can see how maybe you wouldnt want to have to put… up with…

…

oHHHH SHIT IS THAT WHAT IT WOULDVE BEEN. IF I HADNT BEEN SO ANGRY ABOUT BEING ASKED TO CHANGE. IT WOULDVE BEEN MASKING. IF I’D KNOWN WHAT THAT WAS. THIS WHOLE TIME.

its just… its just been a series of months of me shaking my head and realizing my entire life has been that meme like “Am I having difficulties connecting socially??? No, it is everyone else who is wrong.”

🤣 girl help

#if its not obvious ofc this is about my personal experience with autism #not trying to say anything about whether its better to mask or not to mask i think thats up to each individual personal and their situation #whatever is most comfortable to them #…not me putting disclaimers in the tags of a personal post just in case anyone takes it the wrong way so i need to clarify #because suddenly i dont trust whether or not my tone comes across as intended anymore and am afraid of sounding arrogant #i bet THAT doesnt have anything to do with the AuDHD at ALL for SURE 🙄

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obsidiancreates · 4 months

Text

Still Don't Know What Was In The Coco

Briggsy squints at the bugbear sat in front of Kremy. "I know this guy."

"You do? That's great, man! He can use you as a reference!"

"No' li'e that, Stoney. I'm havin' a hard time rememberin'..."

"I don't recall you ever crossing paths with this creature," Clayton says, eyeing Briggsy. "Was it the drugs?"

Briggsy lights up. "Drugs! Yeah, that was it! Got some of my hot coco drugged!"

"I recall," Jornir drawls. "You slept many hours."

"No, but I went somewhere! And that guy was there!" Briggsy points at Torbek. "Real pathetic kinda guy, an' at the end 'e got turned into a tabaxi and kept pissin' on everythin'!"

"Oh." Toa looks at Torbek. "Maybe he can't use you as a reference, then."

"That's impossible. We watched every moment of your life from birth, it was just a hallucination," Clayton argues.

"I think I'd fuckin' remember gettin' body-swapped with that thing! Don' even know 'ow 'e can stand talkin', my throat hurt after a couple'a minutes!"

"There are many... strange, magics, in the world," Jornir says to Clayton. "Briggsy seems... sure."

"I'm aware there are strange magics, my good man, but it breaks the patterns of our own enchanted existence! ... Yes, wait, it- it's a deviation from the norm. Briggsy, describe the experience to me in detail, now!"

"Oooooh, no' sure you really wan' that, mate. I will if you insist, though."

"I-I do!"

"Okay, so, I fell asleep an' me limbs got all cold-"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Should I warn Kremy about the clown bein' an undead horror?"

Toa looks away from Hootsie with panic, Clayton's pen blots ink all over his page from the sudden jerk of surprise, and Jornir merely looks up slowly.

"What in the hells do you mean, man?" Clayton looks at Chuckles, drinking not-so-clandestinely behind a crate. "He's a drunkard, but hardly a dead man walking."

"Well, when I me' 'im in that place-"

"He's the same Chuckles?" Toa looks at the clown. "But the one in your story was a lot more, uh..."

"Unnatural," Jornir supplies.

"Oh, I was going to say interesting."

"Well, maybe I me' 'is future self!" Briggsy crosses his arms. "We know I me' Torbek's future, 'cause 'e knew Kremy."

"Then it is a concern." Clayton moves to look at Chuckles closer. "But I don't see how he could master any magics to become what you knew..."

"Well, 'e said he drank somethin'."

"Yes, that would make more sense."

"Warn him tonight," Jornir says, turning back to watching Frost practice his 'mind hand'. "To be safe."

"If you say so."

"And if you have any more memories of them you haven't told us, please, do so now!" Clayton has his notebook out again.

"Well I would fellas, but the writer hasn't got around to watchin' the new special yet."

"What?"

#legends of avantris #shared souls au #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic

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hollowhornets · 1 year

Text

vashwood slow dancing fic yippeeee

i have not written fic and posted it here in a hot minute so i apologize in advance, theyre also probably just a bit out of character but im delusional with them on the brain so we’re ignoring it

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They sat drinking in a quiet little hotel room they managed to book on short notice, both of their coats were slung over a chair in the corner leaving Wolfwood in his white button up with the sleeves rolled to his forearms and Vash in his sleeveless turtleneck that showed off his scar ridden arm and a bit more of his robotic one than what could usually be seen. After a while their slightly intoxicated conversation had managed to stumble onto the topic of dancing.

“Back at the orphanage they used to teach us how to dance, slow dancing, waltzes, everything,” Wolfwood concluded before taking a sip from his bottle.

Vash hummed and took a sip from his own bottle before replying, “Were you good at any?”

“ ‘Course I was, I was best at slow dancing and I've been perfecting it ever since”

Vash looked him up and down with an unamused sort of expression, “I'm not sure how much I believe you on that, Wolfwood.”

Wolfwood gasped dramatically and put his hand on his chest, clutching his rosary beads in his fist before responding “Are you saying you don’t think I’m a good dancer?”

Vash glanced to his side for a moment then back to Wolfwood “..Maybe,” he replied quietly before closing his eyes and taking another sip from his bottle.

Wolfwood furrowed his brows at Vash and let his hand drop to his lap, he looked over at the small clock on the wall across the room just above where their coats were placed. He let his frown turn into a slightly mischievous grin as he turned his head back to Vash with his newly formed idea clear in his mind. “Y'know what? Instead of havin' you take my word for it,'' He sets the bottle down on the table before standing up and outstretching his hand toward Vash “I'll show you.”

Vash’s eyes widened a bit at Wolfwood, he set his own bottle on the table before questioning him, “You mean…” Wolfwood nodded once before tilting his head and holding his hand out farther, Vash looked down at his hand and stared at it for a moment, holding his own in the air just above his legs, hesitant.

“Have you ever slow danced before?” Vash looked back up at him, he chuckled a bit and shook his head, a bit relieved he didn't have to say it outright. “Well, even better, I’ll teach you,” Vash looked down at Wolfwood's hand again, sighing before letting his own reach for it.

“Are you sure? You-” He was cut off by Wolfwood suddenly grabbing his hand and yanking him out of his chair, continuing to hold it as he walked him to the door, Vash’s breath hitched as he stopped in his tracks halfway, Wolfwood looked back at him before speaking, “What's wrong? Don’t tell me you’re gettin' nervous-”

“No no no, it's not that I just…” He pointed to the door, “Why do we need to go out?”

“Well, it would be awkward without music and i'm pretty sure i saw a jukebox in the lobby-”

“Yeah, sure, but..what if someone walks in on us?”

Wolfwood sighed and let go of Vash's hand. “Spikey, look at the time,” He grabbed Vash’s jaw and turned his head towards the clock that now read ‘2:27’ When did it even get so late? He turned Vash’s head back to face him once he was sure he’d seen the clock. “No one’s up except us, now come on,” He took Vash's hand in his own again and opened the door, leading Vash down the hall and letting an ‘aha!’ leave his lips once he looked to his left and saw the jukebox.

The only hotel for miles was this fancy, slightly expensive one, but neither of them were too keen on sleeping outside if they could help it. The unfortunate part of booking a ‘fancy’ hotel is obviously the price but the more fortunate part was things like this. He took out his wallet and inserted a coin in the slot, humming to himself a bit while flipping through his options, he settled on one he thought was fit enough for a slow dance and walked back over to Vash.

Wolfwood put one hand behind his back and held out the other to Vash while bowing a bit, “Shall we?” Vash let out a breathy laugh and took his hand while glancing around the lobby, still a bit worried about being seen, Wolfwood noticed his anxiousness and spoke up “Y'alright? We don't have to do this if you don't want to-”

“No, no, I, I want to, I’m just… nervous.”

“About dancing? You’ll do fine, you have me as your instructor after all,” He smirked and tilted his head.

Vash scoffed and raised an eyebrow at him, “What’s gotten into you tonight-” Wolfwood grabbed Vash’s left hand and placed it on his own shoulder, pressing it down and not-so-discreetly running his hand down his arm, feeling all the little scratches and imperfections in the metal for a moment before moving his hand down to Vash’s waist and pulling him closer, Vash’s eyes widened a bit and his grip on Wolfwood’s shoulder tightened, Wolfwood held Vash's other hand properly and held it out to their sides.

“Just follow my lead.”

Vash stared at him for a moment before nodding, letting himself be guided by the man holding him gently, far gentler than he expected to be handled. They swayed to the faint melody from the jukebox, quiet enough so it wouldn't wake anyone else in the hotel but loud enough that they could both hear it clearly. Vash let himself relax as they danced, maybe too much with how often he would step on Wolfwood’s foot or bump into him, all of which were accompanied by a small, barely audible ‘sorry…’ falling from the humanoid typhoon's lips a millisecond after it happened.

“Oh, but I’m the bad dancer?”

“Oh shut up, Nicholas, I’ve never done this before,” Wolfwood smiled a bit at hearing his first name from Vash, albeit in a bit of an annoyed tone. They continued to sway in unison to the music in the dark of the hotel lobby, the only light being the faint yellow glow from the jukebox and the moonlight beaming through the windows. They were far closer now, chests touching with Vash’s arm now wrapped around Wolfwood’s shoulders and Wolfwood’s hand resting on the small of Vash’s back. Vash’s head had found its home in the crook of Wolfwood’s neck, comfortably, as if it was perfectly crafted for that very purpose.

They both knew it was far too comfortable, the guilty weight on both of their shoulders shouldn’t let them rock side to side to a gentle melody together like this, it shouldn’t let them forget everything in the others arms for a songs length of solace, it shouldn’t let them share each others warmth in a moonlit hotel lobby, yet thankfully, whatever higher being has been pulling their strings up until now, has allowed them a moment of normality, a moment to simply exist in the others company. peacefully.

Wolfwood's eyes opened at the sudden silence of the song ending, he looked over at the jukebox and then back to Vash, who was practically falling asleep in his arms, he smiled a bit before taking his hand off Vash’s waist to gently shake him by the shoulder and whisper in his ear. “Hey, Spikey,” Vash took a deep breath and hummed, nuzzling his face more into the crook of Wolfwood’s neck and hugging him tighter, Wolfwood smiled at him but clenched his jaw as to not say anything he'd regret, “I think we should get to bed.” was what he settled on.

Vash managed to peel himself away from Wolfwood, albeit reluctantly, and look at a clock hanging on the wall. ‘2:33’. “Oh. Right,” he turned his head back to Wolfwood but kept his eyes fixated on their hands, his eyes filled with half tiredness and half disappointment. Wolfwood noticed his expression and gently moved a strand of Vash’s hair out of his eyes, cupping his face in his hand, Vash closed his eyes and leaned into his touch. After a small sigh of content his eyes opened to look into Wolfwood’s, his gaze involuntarily trailing down to his lips, he inched ever so slightly closer and Wolfwood did the same.

Vash practically melted once their lips finally interlocked, he wrapped both of his arms around Wolfwood’s shoulders and Wolfwood rested his hands on Vash’s hips, pulling him closer and leaning him back a bit, one of Vash's hands found its way into Wolfwood's hair while the other cupped his face. They both held their breath for as long as they could, neither wanting to detach from the other for more than half a second so they could shift their positions slightly.

The sound of a door creaking open caused them both to quickly push the other off and practically sprint 4-5 feet away from the other, Vash crossed his arms across his chest with his shoulders high, staring out of the window, Wolfwood rested one hand on his hip and rubbed the back of his neck with the other, suddenly finding the floor very interesting. They both waved at the figure that walked out of the door, it waved back before wandering down the hall quietly, once it was out of sight they both took a deep breath and slowly made their way back to each other. They stood in silence for a moment with Vash tapping his finger on his arm before Wolfwood spoke, “...We should really get back to the room-”

“Yeah I think so.”

#vashwood #vash trigun #wolfwood trigun #trigun #vashwood fluff #i think #are jukeboxes even a thing in no mans land?#who knows #im sleepy #i just wanted to write something with these two because i think they deserve a moment of normality #even for just like 6 minutes #(also i wrote this with angel baby by rosie and the originals in mind because. angel. get it.)#wolfwood calls vash 'angel' in my head anyways good night tumblr snorkkkk mimimimi snorrkkkkkk mimimi

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