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bonecoatvodtranscripts · 2 months

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Transcript: talking about something more serious (Shubble VOD 2/21/2024)

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CWs: physical abuse, emotional abuse/gaslighting, financial abuse, mentions of sexual assault

Feel free to reupload this transcript anywhere, I really don't care about credit for this one

Hello!

I don't know if you can even hear it. I put on, like, light jazz in the background because it seemed awkward being quiet, but I don't think you can hear it, so I'm just going to turn it off. Hello.

Welcome. We are in emote-only cause I'm just going to be talking today and then I'm going to go. I'm going to go. Yeah, it was very very low. There's no need. I just - it felt weird leaving you in silence, but I'm here, so.

Hello. I want to talk about something today that... I'm very nervous. I feel sweaty. I had a sweater on. I had to take it off. I'm going to try and just - I wrote down pretty much everything I think that I want to say, to keep track of all the points that I want to make sure I don't forget anything, so I will be reading from something a good portion of the time, but not 100% of the time. And I just wanted to make sure I got all of my thoughts down in words ahead of time. I really like writing down my thoughts, so I did that.

Oh, hold on. Can I turn ads off? I think that maybe we turn ads off today. (laughs) How do I make that happen for just today? I should have had that already. I actually don't even know how to make that happen. You know what? That's just going to have to be that way. I'm so sorry, um... I'm all good.

Yeah, okay. Today's just going to be talking. I'm just going to start reading from what I wrote and go from there. I have a really big coffee. I'm going to take a swig. (drinks some coffee) And I have my water, and I'm going to take a swig of that. (drinks some water)

I have always liked telling my different experiences that I've had in dating, because it feels important to me to share what I've learned and maybe help other people to not make the same mistakes that I have before. I'm 30. I've dated a lot. I've gone on a lot of dates. I keep trying, and it's unfortunate that a lot of my dating history, there were a lot of bad people that tried to manipulate or control me. But that's not to say that every person that I've dated has treated me poorly. Some people just weren't the right people. And speaking out about my bad experiences has never felt as important as it does right now, because silence has always brought me peace, and this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace. It's only keeping somebody else's peace.

And I never thought that I could be the kind of person to end up in a situation like I did. I never thought that could happen to me. And so for me this is important, because it could help anybody else see the signs sooner than I did, or hopefully avoid a similar situation entirely, because... (deep breath) The truth is it was dangerous.

There were a lot of things wrong in this relationship that, um... I endured some pretty terrible treatment. And I might touch on some things here and there about that, if I feel like it's important to the overall context. But what I want to stay focused on is this specific issue, and the things that happened matter-of-factly and the things that people saw and witnessed in our circle.

It took me 10 months after to heal, and I spoke with multiple therapists and tried different forms of therapy. I tried somatic therapy. That one was actually really good for me, because that one actually helped me release a lot of built-up anger I was having over the last year. But the anger that I was feeling was for myself, because I felt like I should have known better. I felt so stupid at myself for staying through all of this. And I shared my story with a lot of friends after I started talking to therapists, and I was like, So this thing happened and I wasn't really sure. It just seems weird now to me, looking back. And all of them told me exactly what was happening in the words that I was too afraid to use. And I was being hurt in my last relationship, and it took me all of that time to see it through that lens. I even posted an anonymous story to Reddit that I have now deleted, with an anonymous account, but in posting that, I found a dozen other stories that were exactly like mine, exactly the same way. And all of the comments said exactly the same thing.

And I was so mad at myself because I was lying, too, at a certain point, to protect this person, because I knew that if I told my friends the truth, it would make him look really bad.

I didn't think that I would cry, and I practiced saying all of this and I didn't cry, but it's easier to practice it when no one is listening.

But he always cared more about how it looked, and that was really important. Not what was true. And it was really subtle. When I hear about... When I hear about physical abuse, I think of hitting. I think of hitting and punching. So I thought that this wasn't violent enough to be abuse. I thought that it was just, like, a constant accident that he kept hurting me. But he's not hitting me.

And it didn't start as something that he did to hurt me. He had this habit of biting, which is so weird to me now, but he said that he had this habit since he was a kid, and even his mom said that that was true, and he said it was just affectionate, and that might have been... I mean, I think that might have been true maybe at the start, but I also feel that I have good reason to believe that every part of it was a lie. But that's just my personal opinion.

And I had no problem with just biting. That isn't even the most uncommon thing. But he did mention something early that I should have taken as a red flag. And he want wanted to make sure that I was okay with him biting me, because he didn't want me to come back later and say that he abused me, which I thought was really weird considering he had never hurt me before, and so why would I call it abuse, and why was he thinking about that? And I thought he was being sweet, checking on me to make sure that I was still comfortable, but of course I was, because he hadn't hurt me. And why would I think he ever would?

And then he did for the first time, by accident. And I don't specifically remember the actual first time that he bit me too hard by accident, because I didn't think that it would be significant. I thought that it would only happen once. And he started biting me more and more over a period of time, sort of throughout the whole relationship, and accidents of him biting too hard and really hurting me happened more and more frequently. But he always seemed genuinely sorry, and he decided that he didn't want to keep accidentally hurting me. So we were going to use a safeword so he could learn where my limit was, where my pain tolerance ended. And saying that out loud now doesn't sound - like, that's not very sound logic. But at the time, I thought he cared about not hurting me, but in reality it's like, why are you biting so hard? And why do you have to bite so hard? And it shouldn't be that hard of a problem to stop. That shouldn't be that hard.

And he disguised it as this really quirky part of our relationship, and was so comfortable sharing it with his friends, to the point that he would do it in front of them. He thought it was this really funny story to tell, and a good bit to take my arm and bite me in front of everybody until I literally shout in pain. And then I have to laugh it off, because I'm so embarrassed and I don't want to cause a scene in front of our friends, and I'm sure everyone was a little bit uncomfortable, but as long as I was saying that it was fine, nobody really felt like they needed to be concerned, and that's not anybody's fault, because I was lying. I was lying, and it wasn't fine, because I would go home later and I'd tell him how uncomfortable I was, how much I didn't like being hurt all the time, and I needed him to really stop biting so hard. I didn't like it, and I tried telling him over and over again, because he-

[VOD cuts] - asked him to stop again. This time he said, This is who he is. He isn't going to change. Those were his words. And I remember a lot of specifically his words about certain things, especially at the end, because I'm good at remembering words. Especially his wording, I became really good at remembering, because he was constantly contradicting himself. And I would notice, but most of the time it wasn't worth picking a fight over. But he would fight me on it sometimes, cause I would point it out, and he would insist that he had never said the thing

that he said, he definitely did say. And then he would say something like, "How are you so sure you're remembering correctly? Why are you always right?" And he definitely said the things that I heard him say, and other people heard him say.

So he had, now, at this point, weaponized the safeword, and was using it to ensure that I was hurt and on a constant basis, and he wasn't sorry anymore. I couldn't even tell you the last time he had apologized for doing it anymore, because now sometimes he would bite me, and I would yell out the safeword because it hurt so bad, and he'd clamp down even harder. Just for a second, just for good measure, before letting go. And sometimes I'd say the safeword, and he'd grind his teeth down on my skin, and sometimes he'd smile after, like a gloating grin.

And during this time I was filled with so much anxiety all the time that I was constantly nauseous, gagging daily, on occasion throwing up because of the pit that was in my stomach. I never told him about that, though. I was going and running away quietly to throw up in the toilet and rejoin our group of friends. But I felt so unwanted and ignored. And I would tell him that, and then he would reassure me that he wanted to be together and he loved me. He loved me more than I loved him, even. He would always insist that that was true. Like that, "I love you." "I love you more." But he was, like, really serious about it.

And looking back, I do believe that the way I was swept off my feet at the beginning of this relationship was 100% love bombing. And we were friends for a time. At least, people would have thought that, actually, but I use the word "friend" very loosely, because we had actually never spoke to each other outside of group chats we were in together, like, a handful of times throughout the whole time that we knew each other, but did not talk to each other. so I wouldn't have even called him my friend. Until he found out I was single, waited a few weeks to reach out, and then we started a friendship. And then that friendship turned romantic, and then he made these huge romantic gestures. He wrote me the most beautiful love letter that I had ever read. He called me his soulmate. He talked about forever one month in. He told me he hadn't been in a relationship in 5 years. He thought he could never find love again before he met me. He said he wanted someone to grow with. He wanted to be a dad. He had all his names picked out. And I didn't have a preference, because my feeling of it is, if the timing is right, and with the right person I could. But if that doesn't work out in time, or the timing, you know, I'm not super pressed about it.

But I started opening my mind up to the idea with him, because it seemed so important to him. And I kept trying to talk to him to figure out where he was later on when I could tell things were declining, and now, all of a sudden he's telling me he's not sure he wants kids at all. In fact, he has never been attached to the idea of kids. And I told him that isn't what he said before, and he said he's allowed to change his mind. And I'm of the opinion that in a relationship, there are a few things that you are not actually allowed to change your mind without letting your partner know. I think that kids is one of them. It wasn't even important to me. And I think marriage is one of them, so I brought that up next. And I asked if he still wanted marriage. He said he wanted to marry me. And then he said now, "I'm not the-" this is a quote, "I'm not the commitment guy. You know that."

I didn't know that. Why are you dating me? In fact, he was telling me the exact opposite every day. He would tell me he still wanted to be together. He wanted to work on all of the problems. He wanted me at the end of everything. He did not want to break up. He made that very clear.

I have, though, caught him in lies before, but usually it was small stuff, and again, I didn't want to - It wasn't anything that ever seemed worth rocking the boat over. Which isn't normal for me. I hate lies. And yet I ended up lying for him. But he had lied about big things, and he had also been caught lying by his friends numerous times. So this is something that he feels is acceptable to do.

And everything reached a breaking point when he was about to leave for an extended period of time. We were not going to see each other very much- a few days out of every few months. And now suddenly he is dumping all of these problems that he has been having feelings about all of this time later. At one point he said he's been feeling this way a couple months. At another point he says he's been feeling this way for six months, immediately contradicting himself in the same conversation. And with no time to do anything about it. I arrive the one of- Never mind. I'm going to get to something later. But I literally arrived for 3 days for this conversation to happen and then leave.

(cat mews) My cat just woke up and she's not usually awake right now. (leans to cat, offscreen) Hi, my love. It's really close to her dinner time. I should have fed her early.

So, no time to fix any of the problems all of a sudden, because there are three days before he leaves. And he insisted he did not want to break up. And so he was expecting me to have a solution somehow magically, and I gave a number of solutions that would have a way forward for us to be together, but he refused to make any compromise whatsoever. And he said that the relationship was starting to feel like a responsibility towards the end. Also his words. So it wasn't a responsibility the whole rest of the time to him.

And he was at this point basically flaunting that he would never prioritize me over anything. (talking to cat, indistinct) And I wasn't even asking for literally even the bare minimum. I was asking for so little. And he - I was watching him give exactly what I was needing in the relationship all over the place to anybody else who just happened to ask and just wasn't me.

And also, he was never going to prioritize me over anything that would give him more fame or money. In fact, he said that himself. That was exactly why he was not going to compromise at all for a solution for us to be together, because he said he wanted to see how much fame and money he could get. And I just thought we wanted to be together. I thought that's what we both wanted, because that's what he was still saying he wanted, too.

But then he also admitted to me that he had grown to resent me. And I have to be thankful that he said that bit out loud - a lot of these bits, he said out loud - because that was the last push that I needed to get myself out. He had grown resentful, which I also pointed out that there was no reason to feel that way, and he admitted that there was no reason for him to feel that way either. I think that it was because I'm someone who can communicate how I feel.

But I don't know. I have a lot of theories and reasons why I believe things happened the way that they did, and why he was lying all of the time. But he was resentful of me, was causing me physical harm every day, multiple times a day, despite me telling him over and over again to stop. He wasn't going to change and he wasn't going to end the relationship. He was going to keep hurting me, and it was possibly going to escalate even further. So I broke up with him. And I didn't even want to, because I couldn't even see for such a long time after what it really was that had

happened, that he had abused me. And in fact we left things as, we want to be friends, and he can never imagine not speaking to me again. And then he never spoke to me again, outside of, like, a couple of exchanges where I needed to ask for my clothes to be shipped, so at least I got my clothes back. I had a whole closet full. However, he did throw away all of my other things without saying a word to me about it. Hundreds of dollars of things from my office were trashed without a word. And I didn't block him till 10 months later because I wanted an open door still. I really thought I wanted to be his friend. But, uh, I don't feel that way anymore.

I do believe he was bottling up so many emotions, and he would never talk about how he felt. I think he even - I mean, he did admit that he felt like he couldn't say it any sooner, like there was just no possible way to say how he was feeling sooner than the absolute last possible chance. Not even a chance, because 3 days before he left - that was actually a lie too, also. He didn't leave for another week after I left. He brought me in, had this three-day conversation. He was supposed to leave, and then he stayed for another week before he left with all of the friends that I was also meant to see, but he had lied to me about the dates, too.

But I do believe that he was bottling up so many emotions that he was taking it out on me physically. I believe there was a moment where he knew that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore, and instead of just ending it, he tried to push me away any way he knew would hurt me. And he knew all of the ways that would hurt me the most. And he knew he was hurting me. There was no way that he didn't know, because of the safeword that he made, and he just didn't care. He was hurting me, and he didn't care, and even looked like he was enjoying it sometimes.

And I can look back now and I can see all these instances that were really major red flags. There was this one time that he pinned me down and asked me to try my absolute hardest to get him off of me. And I couldn't do it, obviously, and he said something to make the point that he was so much stronger than me that I wouldn't be able to fight him back. Fight back against what? What do you mean? You don't say shit like that to people. That's insane. And I was also sexually assaulted by my first boyfriend, and he knew that.

He had stopped giving anything to the relationship, and he said that why was because he was just waiting for things to change on their own. He said he also didn't have the time or energy anyway to do the things that I was asking for, but then would constantly make any bit of time and energy for anybody and anything but me. And he would say he wanted more quality time, so then I would try to arrange things for us to do online because we were long distance, but then he would complain that he doesn't want to spend all of his time on the computer anymore. And then we'd be there in person and all he wants to do is stay inside, play games on his computer, watch movies. He doesn't want to go out.

And I'm not saying any of this next part to be mean. He lived in filth like I have never seen. And I've seen filth. This was the worst. He would spill things on the floor and never, literally never clean them up. He got an ant infestation once, and wasn't going to do anything about it because he said he said "Bugs are normal in British houses," so I had to buy ant killer. And he wouldn't clean his bathroom for months and months and months, but would constantly complain about how bad it smelled, and I would tell him, "That's mold. It's mold." He complained about being tired all the time, too, which I don't know if that was a lie or not, but mold will do that too. But he would insist that it wasn't, somehow, without having cleaned in months, but it's not mold.

When I met him, he was washing his clothes without detergent. Just he wasn't using that at all, and I don't know for how long before I met him. He was just running it with water and then hanging it on his filthy kitchen cabinets. And I felt bad. I felt bad because I felt like he needed someone to help him learn how to be cleaner. I thought he just didn't know how. And I listened to all of the struggles of his upbringing, and I was like, he just doesn't know how. Someone just needs to show him. And then I found out that he said he doesn't clean at all when I'm not there, because he just waits for me to get there to do it. And I only found out about that after we broke up, because he said it behind my back.

I was doing all of the cleaning and laundry for him. Also, I had a separate bathroom. I want to make that clear I wasn't using that bathroom. I had a separate bathroom that I cleaned for myself. I had cleaning supplies. I don't think he even actually knew I had cleaning supplies in there. But I had my own bathroom.

All the cleaning, all the laundry, all of it. I was paying for all of the, like, paper towels, soap. All of that only stayed in the house so long as I was buying it. I would arrive and there would just not be toilet paper in the whole house. There were paper towels instead. And who knows for how long, too. I was paying for food more than half the time, because he would often push me into ordering food for us, even if I had paid for the last meal or the meal before that. And I'm of the opinion now that I shouldn't have been paying for any food. None at all, But I wanted to, at least, I thought I was being equal by at least doing, like, a back and forth. But I ended up paying for food more often than just going back and forth anyway. And he would do this to his friends all the time, too.

But I was also paying for every plane ticket and the catsitter, which cost roughly the amount of a plane ticket to England. And he never offered to help me pay after the couple of times he did come here to visit me, because he paid for the flights that we would both take. But that only happened twice at the very beginning. I have actually had a friend tell me that this is financial abuse, but I don't know enough about that to say for myself. But I was telling him that I couldn't afford it all by myself all the time, because I was losing money. I was never able to work properly there, and he wasn't traveling at all to see me anymore, even though he said he would. That was, like, the basis of our entire relationship starting off. So then he agreed to pay for the catsitter so that it would be basically paying half the cost of my travels. And he did that once. (pause) And then never did it again despite many more months of dating. And I was traveling often. I had to, because he was worried that we weren't spending enough quality time together. And then all of the time that he would have ever extra, he would choose - choose - to not spend it on me, because there was an available choice and he chose not to spend it with me often.

And I did everything short of just up and move there, which I was willing to do the whole time, and I told him that I was willing to do it and he knew, but he insisted that I don't. He insisted not to. He was planning to move here. That was supposed to happen first. And then at the end of the relationship, he said maybe things would have been different if I lived there. If I lived there, like I had said I would the whole time, and he insisted I don't. Maybe that could have saved the relationship.

And I say all of this because I believe that people like this are genuinely dangerous. I believe he is dangerous. He was willing to lie. He was willing to do harm to someone he claimed to love more than anyone he has ever loved. His actions escalated, and I don't think that I'll be the last person that he hurts. And I felt like sharing my story was really important to warn people. I want people to see the signs that I refused to. I want you to listen to your body and get out as soon as possible. Tell your friends the truth and let them help you.

I really thought I couldn't - because I had been sexually assaulted in a previous relationship. I just thought I was so much smarter. And I was like, if someone ever laid their hands on me, I'd leave immediately. It would never happen a second time. But you just, it just kind of happened so slowly over time, and got worse and worse and worse until the point where there's no way to deny the fact that he was hurting me and he knew and didn't care. That's just the kind of thing that I keep repeating to myself when I'm like, "But was it bad enough? It wasn't violent enough." But I was being hurt multiple times every single day, days and days and days and days for a month at a time in a row.

And I'm not even speaking on most - because I did touch on other things, but I am not even speaking on most of the other things that, in my opinion, I do think that there are some things that are across a line that make you a bad person. I don't think that most people can be defined in a black-and-white "you're good or you're bad," but I do believe that there's a line that you can cross, and only bad people will do the things on the other side of that line, you know what I mean?

And the number of - (voice breaks, covers her mouth) I only cry now when I'm talking about my friends! Who also dealt with such shitty things from shitty people! But I'm also so, so grateful for all of my friends who were with me through this whole thing, and my friends who also were experiencing similar sorts of situations, at the same time, and we kind of went through it together. So I think they are the strongest people in the whole world, and they made me feel like the strongest people in the whole world today. Did I call myself people? I meant person. I feel like the strongest people - (laughs) I did it again. I feel like the strongest person. They made me feel so brave. I felt impenetrable today.

But I am going to go now because my friends are coming over and we're immediately going to go become distracted by watching Love is Blind. I already watched all of it already, and I don't care. So thank you for listening. Thank you everyone who gifted subs. I am going to be taking the rest of the week off from streaming. I have a video going out on Saturday, and I'll be back next week, and you won't hear about any of this again for a while, probably, but thank you all.

I don't really even know what to do now. I think I'm just going to end. Go spread love all over the place on Twitch right now, and I'll see you.

#shubble #shubble vods #wilbur situation #abuse tw #abuse cw #Youtube

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letomills · 5 months

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Download all (big archive): Mega or Download AF only: SFS | TF only: SFS | EF only: SFS

Edit: part 2 is here, part 3 is here.

Medieval and fantasy dresses for TF, AF and EF. Each age group gets one mesh and the same 233 recolors. The TF and EF recolors can be either standalone or repo'd to AF. This is the foundation of a multi-part project: subsequent parts will give you body shape conversions of these dresses, with all recolors either standalone or repo'd to AF.

The AF mesh is my edited version of iamliz13's alpha-editable gown. The TF and EF meshes are my conversions of that edited mesh, both on new files. AF and TF have fat and preg morphs, EF has a fat morph. Polycount: 3,260.

All textures were initially made by the very talented people credited below. None of this is reuploading other people's work however, as I edited almost all textures and all recolor files properties. I did make those edits on the AF recolor files of the original creators whenever I could, so that you can replace my edited recolors with the originals if you prefer and still benefit from the repositorization.

Mesh previews, swatches, credits and details under the cut.

The meshes

The AF mesh

Iamliz13's AF alpha-editable gown mesh has already been edited by others (I know Dicreasy made a preg morph edit) but if I was going to convert it for 10+ body shapes, I had to get very familiar with it and make sure it was to my exacty liking. So I made my own edit. If you already use Dicreasy or anyone else's version and you want to stick with it, that's no problem since I used the same file. Just make sure you delete my AF mesh.

What I edited: • there was a row of vertices at upper lap level that didn't have the smoothest bone assignment, that's been fixed • the hips were narrower than the standard Maxis AF shape, I widened them to match • remade fat and preg morphs, in line with the Maxis AF shape.

Here's the result, on a recolor that makes use of the alpha part around the abdomen and then on one that doesn't (click to enlarge):

The TF and EF meshes are new meshes on new files, converted from the AF mesh.

TF ↓

EF ↓

~~~

The recolors

Edits I made: • many recolors had some skirt texture bleeding on the left thumb → that's fixed • almost all recolors had issues with the shoe sole and/or underskirt texture not matching the mapping quite right → that's been fixed (you can't tell the difference on a standing or sitting sim but it shows when they're relaxing on a bed or a lounge chair) • most recolors had their shoe sounds set to barefoot → changed all of them to normal shoe instead • many recolors had blank bump maps unnecessarily inflating file sizes → that's been cleaned up • some AF recolors were also enabled for EF → they are now YA-AF only since I made proper EF conversions • changed sortindex numbers so that sets appear one after the other in an order that made sense to me.

All recolors are compressed and tooltipped (not mfBSOK'd, sorry if that's what you prefer). Swatches are included.

1. iamliz13

Recolors 1-6 are categorized as everyday, 7 & 8 are categorized as everyday and outerwear.

Original textures are iamliz13's AF recolors.

2. Sherahbim Formal Witch

Categorized as everyday, formal and outerwear.

Original texture by Sherahbim. Morganna recolors taken from here.

3. Sherahbim Misc

Autumn witch is categorized as everyday, formal and outerwear. Texture by Sherahbim.

Green sleeves is categorized as everyday and formal. Texture by Sherahbim.

Herb woman is categorized as everyday and outerwear. Texture by Sherahbim.

Medieval witch is categorized as everyday and formal. Texture by Sherahbim. I edited the cleavage to be less deep, to hide that there is no realistic dip in the mesh in between the boobs.

4. Sherahbim Elven Dress

Original categorized as everyday and formal. Texture by Sherahbim.

The Van recolors are actually my edited versions of these. There was a visible seam on the sleeves that I found awkward to fix so I got rid of them and did something else instead. They're categorized as everyday only.

5. Sherahbim Heart of the Forest

+ 50 recolors by Meshy:

Categorized as everyday and formal.

Original texture by Sherahbim, @mrs-mquve's recolor is from here, Nabila's recolors are from here, Meshy's recolors are from here. I tweaked exposure and saturation on several of Meshy's recolors.

6. Sherahbim Widow

Categorized as everyday and formal.

Original texture by Sherahbim. The black is a quick recolor by me. Morganna's recolors are from here.

7. Sherahbim Royal

+ 50 recolors by Meshy:

Categorized as everyday and formal.

Original texture by Sherahbim. Bethgael's recolors are from here. Meshy's recolors are from here.

8. Sherahbim The Lady

All Meshy recolors:

Categorized as everyday, formal and outerwear.

Original texture by Sherahbim. Meshy's recolors are from here. I edited Meshy's recolors 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 19, 22, 25 and 26 by replacing the bright white sleeve and underskirt bits of texture with Sherahbim's "aged" white bits.

9. AlmightyHat The Modest Lady

All recolors:

Categorized as everyday, formal and outerwear.

Textures by AlmightyHat, based on Sherahbim's The Lady.

10. Beryllium

Recolor 1 categorized as everyday and outerwear, recolors 2-8 categorized as everyday and formal.

All textures by @berylliumsims. I increased the contrast on recolor 1 and darkened the wrist hems.

11. Arthelope

Categorized as everyday, formal and outerwear.

Textures by Arthelope (originally for TF only) + I added sleeves taken from AlmightyHat's The Modest Lady.

12. 12Raben

Last but not least, party dresses! Categorized as everyday and formal.

Textures by @12raben, except I edited the sleeves. If you prefer 12raben's version, feel free to replace my AF files with theirs and my repo'd TF and EF will adapt.

~~~

If you're not a fan of the clothing categories I chose, you can change clothing categories in bulk using the Outfit Organizer or the BSOK editor. The latter will also let you mfBSOK everything, if you want.

~~~

And that's it for now. I hope you're happy with the selection of textures I picked (many thanks to the original retexturers and recolorers!). Iamliz13's dress has been recolored so many times, I could have added even more but I had to draw a line for the sake of my sanity. To be honest I'm already pushing it lol. Let me know if you see an issue that I missed or if you have any questions.

#sims 2 #download #clothing:everyday #clothing:formal #clothing:outerwear #sims 2 download #sims 2 cc #ts2cc #s2cc #s2cc historical fantasy

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androgynousblackbox · 2 months

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Alright, I am watching the reaction stream of another person to see the video of Jamesy and I have thoughts! -Jamesy is REALLY counting on buttering up to Jessie Gender specifically. He named her so many times trying to "apologize" for weaponizing his audience against her when she told him to not erase her work in Nebula just because his whiny entitled ass couldn't accept that he wasn't invited to the platform. Not a single word about actually going to her and talk privately though, just a bunch of "ooh, Jessie Gender is the kindest, best human being ever and I am so sorry to her", like, bitch, WHY ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT HER? Jessie wasn't the worst victim of your actions! Your bullshit with her happened long BEFORE anything of this happened, so why the fuck are you even bringing her up?? My only guess is that Jamesy wants Jessie to speak on his favor and "forgive him", hoping that will bring him new good will from the queer community in youtube. I am fucking crossing my fingers and touching wood that Jessie does not fall for this manipulative bullshit. This guy is literally clout chasing because, again, when it came to the plagiarism, Jessie had NOTHING to do here. Jessie, if you want an easy win, don't say anything about this. Don't even aknowledge it. Pretend like a mosquito just farted in another building. You had nothing to do with this and I am sorry this piece of shit is trying to drag you into it to take advantage of your good nature. -"I only cared about the production side of making videos, that is why I bring Nick in as the main writer." This motherfucker really went and did it. He is literally blaming Nick squarely now, because now he is just not a co-writer. No, now he is the MAIN WRITER. Jamesy here was just trying to making his little films and buy expensive ass equipment while telling everyone he was starving on the streets, he only cared about the production. NICK, THOUGH, HE WAS ALL ABOUT THE WRITING. He was the one who put the words and little Jamesy baby boy here only "produced, directed and edited" (omg, shut the fuck off, man, your editing skills are mid at best) everything. -Way too many sob stories. I don't care, man. I don't fucking care that you got fired or whatever conditions you had. Do you have any fucking clue how many people do really struggle to reach the end of the month and they still never even think of stealing someone else's work? Everyone is struggling and yet, you were the one who made a career for fucking years out of stealing the works of everyone else in this community AND THEN, when call out, tried to paint them as the bad guys.

-A lot, and I do mean, a lot of time to "apologize" to Jessie Gender, but you know who he didn't apologize to? Literally none of the authors he stole from. Not the fan whose edit of Korra he used without credit. Not Alexander Avila. Not that person who was harassed to hell and back by Jamesy and his audience when they showed how he plagiarized on his disney video. Jessie deserved to be name dropped at least thirty times, but those people?? They are fucking nobodies. They don't matter. Why name them at all? It's not like their WORK WAS STOLEN BY YOU OR ANYTHING! And that is another thing! Even if Jamesy is really out there blaming Nick for all the words that they took without credit, then what the fuck is up with all the footage, edits and audiovisual works that weren't for you to take? You said your passion is production. That is part of the production, Jamesy. Is this you admitting you fully just fucking stole them and hoped nobody would notice because you are a lazy piece of garbage?

-"Having to do multiple edits because youtube copyright issues was so hard for me, guys, you don't understand uwu. It was so hard on me to make it less obvious I had plagiarized people!" THAT IS ENTIRELY YOUR OWN FAULT, BRO.

-So, hey, funny thing. I was looking to see if other people were reacting or had reuploaded the video so I could put it here. They haven't yet, there is only two reactions, but while I was doing that I found a video of ANOTHER person talking about Jamesy ripping them off: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsD-wodn288 Apparently Jamesy had stolen a blog post that this person wrote about Lord of The Rings and they weren't known by anyone, they don't even like that article anymore, but still! Go see that video instead of watching Jamesy and support them if you find value on their work.

-Hey, Jamesy. Jamesy. You do know that epilepsy and head injuries or memory issues don't take you threaten, lie and weaponize your audience against people who call out your plagiarism with the evidence in hand, right? That has literally nothing to do actually, because you had to be aware off of the issue for you to lie about it after someone else brought it up. After the first time it happened, you could have hired another beta reader to tell you that ups, your memory/epilepsy/memory issues/ADHD strike again and you don't remember from where you took that quote from, sorry! You had money for that expensive ass camera, you could have. -Like, my guy, there were so many steps involved here. So many steps from writing, production, backlash and your response to the backlash. Even if any part on this was an honest mistake, something I don't fucking believe in because fuck you, you had millions of opportunities to rectified it and change it. And yet you didnd't. And so here we are, without you receiving not even a miserable fucking like. Go to hell. A mistake doesn't get repeated so many times for years. That was all a choice, bitch. Fuck you.

And here is where I stopped because his voice is like nail on my ears.

Don't look at his video, it's truly not worth it. DON'T LEAVE COMMENTS EITHER, YOUTUBE TAKES THAT AS ENGAGEMENT ANYWAY.

#james somerton #jessie gender

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hyperfixiation-station · 3 months

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Choice, Choices, Choices Pt. 2

TW: Swearing, canon typical violence

Pairing: Reader x Graves Summary: Well your week off wasn't very productive, hopefully a really stressful, fate-of-the-world-is-in-your-hands mission will help clear your brain. As usual, I didn't beta read, so lmk if there are an errors :) Also sorry for the reupload, I accidentally deleted it whilst trying to edit something lmaooo.

When Price said a lot, he meant a lot.

In the time you had been gone, a new terrorist threat had popped up, a man named Hassan who somehow had gotten ahold of American missiles. You didn’t even have time to unpack before Price was shipping you off to Mexico to help Soap and Ghost infiltrate a cartel to find the location of said missing missiles. It seems the talk with Graves will have to wait.

You get no rest on the flight to Mexico. Instead you spend the entire time focusing on your and Grave’s relationship. Maybe it’s the threat of imminent annihilation, or maybe it’s the fact that you are going to be seeing him soon, but whatever it is, you were thinking more clearly than you have all week.

Graves was a man of authority, and you had recognized it from the moment you had met him. He took what he wanted, when he wanted, and made sure everyone knew he was the top dog. In your relationship he always had the last say, always chose the restaurant, always chose the movie. And for the most part, you didn’t mind, enjoying the feeling of not having to be in control for once when all you did all day long was make choices that could mean life or death.

He had this belief that he could do no wrong, and was smug and uptight and sometimes even cruel about it.

And yet there was something…alluring about him. Some magnetic charm that drew you in every time you wanted to take a step back. He didn’t even have to try, hell, he had stopped putting effort into the relationship years ago, and yet you still found him almost irresistible.

You weren’t stupid, you knew what there were issues in the way your relationship worked, but you loved him, and he…loved you too. It wasn’t until Ghost stepped fully into the picture that you realized that may-

“Y/N!” You flinch, your eyes coming up to meet your pilots as his voice snaps you out of your musings.

“You okay in there? I’ve been yelling at you for at least a minute.” He says over the headset, “Anyways we’re about to land, so get ready.” You nod, shouldering your pack and making sure your vest is strapped correctly.

5 minutes later, the helo begins its choppy descent. The second it touches down you are ushered off, ducking under the blades in an odd crab run as you make your way to where Soap, Ghost, and 2 strangers stand to the side. The pilot takes off before you've even cleared the LZ.

“Good ta’ see yer no’ dead lassie.” Soap grin, clasping your shoulder, “Ah trust Price has briefed ye?”

“Aye.” You nod, “Though he didn’t mention these two. Who are they?”

“These are th’ Los Vaqueros.” Soap says giddy, “Means th’ cowboys”

“My name is Alejandro.” The taller one on the left tells you.

“Mine’s Rodolfo, tho y’ can call me Rudy.” The one on the right says moments later.

“Nice to meet you.” You incline your head, avoiding Ghost’s searching gaze, “I take it you’re the ones leading us through this, uh…whatever we’re about to do?”

“Aye.” Alejandro turns and begins walking, everyone else falling in line behind him, “Soap here is infiltrating Las Almas, we are looking for El Sin Nombre. We believe he knows the location of the missiles Hassan has stolen.”

You climb into the back of a truck, consciously avoiding sitting next to Ghost. The drive is tense, the silence only occasionally broken by questions from Alejandro and Soap. The truck comes to a stop, and you all pile out, getting Soap outfitted for his ‘Day in the life of a cartel member’ extravaganza.

“Y/n!” You spin around, seeing Graves walking towards you, “How was your week off?”

“It was good. Did a lot of…thinking.”

“Wonderful.” He says, his eyes already looking past you. He presses a quick kiss to your cheek and moves past, going to speak with his Shadows. You sigh internally, moving over to Soap and Ghost.

“How wis yer week off?” Soap asks as a Shadow helps fit his comms. He’s grinning, his blue eyes almost glowing in the dark, but you can see the faint lines of fear in his expression.

“It was since. Did a lot of thinking, I guess.” Ghost shifts, a subtle movement you notice out of the corner of your eye. Your face flushes, and you’re grateful it’s dark out so he can’t see.

“Let's roll!” Alejandro calls. Soap nods, and you follow him and Ghost back to the truck. This drive is tense for a whole other reason, everyone thinking about all the ways this could go wrong.

You get to the compound, and take your spot on a ridge with Ghost. No words are exchanged, but you know him well enough by now to tell he is worried about you. If Soap’s life, and the lives of millions of Americans, weren’t at risk, you would be grateful for this mission delaying the inevitable conversation you have to have.

You both get into position, sniper rifles trained on the building. You wince as Soap is manhandled, a deep pit of fear in your stomach once he disappears from your view.

Now all that's left is to sit and wait.

He emerges victorious, much to yours and Ghost’s relief. He brings with him El Sin Nombre, who apparently is actually a woman, and an old friend of Alejandros. You could see yourself liking her, if she hadn’t sold missiles to terrorists.

She is feisty, smart, and cunning. She keeps her mouth shut, refusing to volunteer the location of the 2nd missile, instead goading Alejandro into a frenzy. You watch, eyes narrowed in distaste, as Graves tries to make a deal with her. Not for the first time, you judge his ability to make decisions.

But she does give you all the missile location. In what feels like a matter of moments, you find yourself on a boat, heading through stormy waves towards an oil rig off the Gulf of Mexico. Grave’s Shadows launch an attack, only for Ghost to find that the missile not only has entered pre-launch phase, but wasn’t even on the oil rig to begin with. Instead, you find it on the deck of a ship, primed and ready to fire. You, Graves, Soap, and Ghost file onto the cargo ship, where you find that there is no way to disarm the missile.

Your heart sinks, until Shepard has the great idea to turn the missile on the oil rig. Alejadro and the Shadow Company clear out, and Soap hacks in and resets the missile's trajectory. The burning ball of flame is a beautiful sight to see, in your opinion.

“Gold Eagle Actual, Shadow-1. Good hit. Good hit. Missile and rig destroyed.” Graves crows, a grin lighting up his face. He grasps Soaps shoulder, and you watch him mouth a quiet Good work, his voice too quiet to hear over the noise of the shadows and everyone celebrating.

Without thinking, you press a kiss to Ghost’s masked cheek, the euphoria of victory clouding your senses. Soap steps in to give Ghost a moment to recover, and gives you a side hug, slapping you on the back a little too hard for your liking. You don’t notice Graves eyes on you, narrowing with your every action.

The ride back is still tense, the tension between you and Ghost so thick you can almost taste it. Luckily Soap either can’t sense it, or just is just ignoring it, the Scotsman happily chattering away as the sinking feeling in your heart grows and grows.

The crisis is over, and once you get back you won’t be able to put off your conversation with Graves any longer.

It’s still raining when you get back to the Los Vaquero’s base. The truck comes to a stop outside the gates, and you slide out of the truck after Ghost, confused and a bit wary.

“What’s this?” You hear Alejadro’s voice from the other side of the truck.

“This is the immediate future.” You stop short, Grave’s voice making your blood run cold, “Step away from the gate.” No. There is no way.

“You’re outta line Graves.” You blink, hard, realizing you had zoned out for a moment. You force your feet to move again, rounding the truck, stiffening as a barrel is pressed into your spine.

“Hey!” Grave’s voice echoes in your ears, “Let her go. She’s with us.” You inhale sharply, looking up at him in shock. Soap looks at you in betrayal, taking half a step towards you before the Shadows are on him as well.

“Don't do that. Don't... do that. No one needs to get hurt here.” Graves says, eyes narrowed.

“Are you threatening us?” You can hear the betrayal in his voice as well, though he does his best to hide it. You want to look at him, try and communicate that you have no part in this, but your mind is still reeling, and you’re unable to draw your wide eyes away from Grave’s face.

“Soldier, I don't make threats. I make guarantees. So, let's not do this.” The animosity in Graves' voice surprises you.

“I’m calling Shepard.” Soap turns, hand reaching for his radio.

“General Shepard sends his regards.” Graves' grin is predatory, and you have no doubt he’s enjoying this, “He told me you wouldn’t take this well.”

“He knows about this?” Ghost’s eyes are dark, his body tense and ready to spring.

“He's put me in command of this operation from here on out. So, y'all need to stand down. It's time to let the pros finish this.” You watch Graves still, eyes trained on his face, your brain numb with shock. Shock and…disgust.

“And why the hell are we talking like this is some kind of a negotiation?” Graves continues, “It's not. I've got my orders and now you have yours.”

“And who the fuck do you think you are, cabron? My men are inside!”

“I'm afraid not.” Graves pauses, meeting your eyes with a disgusting grin, “Your men have been... detained.”

“Cabron!” For the first time, you manage to tear your eyes away from Graves, your gaze falling on Alejandro as he launches himself towards your boyfriend only to be beaten down and restrained by his Shadows.

“Graves, what th’ fuck?” Your eyes dart to Soap as he lunges at the Shadow next to him, holding him hostage. You let out a small cry as Graves and his men open fire. You duck behind the truck, watching as Ghost elbows the Shadow behind him before stabbing another one in the neck, quickly ripping the blade back out and hurling it at another Shadow before disappearing into the dark.

“Get your fucking hands off me!” Your hands fly up to cover your mouth as you watch Graves slam the butt of his gun into Alejandro’s head, dropping him. You stare at Graves in shock, unable to move as your mind tries to process what's happening.

Soap yells in pain, snapping you from your reverie as you spin to look at him. He’s on the ground, the Shadow he had taken laying dead on top of him.

“Go, Johnny! Get out of there!” Ghost yells from somewhere behind you “Soap, Go!” You watch as Soap heaves himself up and throws himself over the barrier, disappearing from your view. You slide down the truck, sinking to the ground as your legs give out, your entire body shaking.

Graves' actions start to sink in, and gods does his betrayal hurt. It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before, worse than the time you broke your arm, worse than the time you got shot in the thigh, worse than any wound you had ever received. It’s like a physical pain, your heart feeling as though it’s been ripped from your chest. Tears well in your eyes, your fingers digging into your palms in an effort to stop your tears.

You don’t know how long you sit in the rain, but it’s enough time for you to be completely soaked head to toe. You are surrounded by blood and bodies, and your mind reels as you survey the scene. Alejandro is gone, you’re not sure when he was taken away. Soaps rifle is still laying in the street, a very damming pool of blood underneath and around it. With the amount of blood he lost, you're surprised he's not dead. Oh gods he better not be dead.

“Y/n?” Graves' voice breaks the fog in your brain, “Darling? Are you alright? I know this was...a bit of a surprise…but I’m sure you understand.”

“Graves…”

To be continued.

Notes: Sorry for how long this took!!! But it's here now! Hopefully Pt. 3 won't take me another thousand years. Anyways I hope you enjoy, and sorry if this is not the direction you wanted it to go :/ Tags: @redhoodxsupergirl @infpt-zylith @scarletdfox

#cod fanfic #simon ghost riley #angst #cod x reader #ghost fanfiction #ghost x reader #no beta we die like men #cod #john soap mactavish #graves x reader #phillip graves #alejandro vargas #haha I finally updated #sorry for how long it took #call of duty x reader #cod modern warfare

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subskz · 2 years

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destress - s.cb

note: this is a reupload from my old blog

content: sub changbin, dom reader, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, degradation, a bit of choking, very slight breeding kink, begging, orgasm denial, female reader

word count: 3.8k

Changbin could tell you were stressed from the moment you walked through the door.

You shuffled into your apartment, removing your shoes with a huff and tossing your keys carelessly—almost aggressively—onto the nearest surface.

Changbin craned his neck, peering over at you from where he sat on the sofa.

“Hiii,” He greeted lazily.

You gave a slight hum in response, only sparing him a glance as you made your way over to the fridge to retrieve a water bottle.

His curiosity piqued as he watched you drink, sensing the irritation rolling off you in waves. You didn’t stop until you’d downed nearly half the bottle, exhaling heavily once you’d swallowed. Without saying a word, you screwed the cap back on and exited the kitchen, ready to make your way down the hall.

“Hey,” Changbin called, lips curving into a pout. “Don’t ignore me.”

The whine in his voice caught your attention, and you stopped in your tracks to give him a proper look. He raised his eyebrows at you, an exaggerated expression of hurt plastered on his face.

“Sorry,” You murmured, softening a bit. “How was your day?”

Changbin stretched dramatically, his shirt riding up in the process. “I worked hard,'' He announced. “My energy’s so low...I need some encouragement to cheer me up.”

He gave you a pointed look as he spoke, and you couldn’t help the sense of fondness that crept up on you. “Good work today, Binnie.” You indulged him. “I know you did well.”

Changbin made a cute, self-satisfied noise in response, wiggling his shoulders in a way that you know would’ve earned him a dirty look from any of his members. You flopped down next to him on the cushions, and he wasted no time before scooting closer to you. “How was yours?” He asked, playfulness dimming when he noticed your expression go sour again.

“Long.”

Despite your blunt reply, you leaned against Changbin without hesitation when he scooted closer. “Wanna talk about it?”

You gave a small shrug, not wanting to burden him with the petty issues that had troubled you throughout the afternoon. “No, it’s alright.”

“Are you sure?” He pressed, sounding unconvinced. “I’m a really great listener y’know.”

You tried to ignore how endearing you found the sincerity in which he complimented himself. In truth, Changbin was a great listener—always giving you his full attention, nodding along, and waiting patiently for you to finish before offering his own advice. Any signs of nagging disappeared when you shared your troubles with him, instead replaced with his more thoughtful side that you, admittedly, admired more than you let on.

It wasn’t often that you felt the need to vent to him, but knowing that he was always willing to hear you out had become a great source of comfort for you.

Changbin watched you intently, squinting in that cute way of his to let you know he was prepared to listen. As tempting as it was, you dismissed the idea with a shake of your head. “It’s okay, I’d rather just take my mind off it.”

He eyed you for a moment longer, not relenting until you flashed a small smile in an attempt to reassure him. “Mm...alright. As long as you feel better before we see Chan-hyung and Jisung later.” He agreed.

You groaned miserably the instant Changbin reminded you of your plans to meet up with the other two, and he gave you a soothing pat as you slumped against him.

“I completely forgot.” You dragged a hand down your face.

“Still wanna go?” He questioned.

You contemplated for a moment, knowing that the last thing you wanted to do was leave your apartment and put on a happy front after the day you’d just had. At the same time, however, you’d feel bad for blowing Chan and Jisung off. “Dunno….” You began. “I’m just not really in the mood.”

Changbin inched his face closer to yours, pouting once again. “I hate seeing you so down,” He complained. “Let me cheer you up.”

You gave his cheek a poke as soon as it was within reach. “Hm...what do you have in mind?”

“You just need some Vitamin Bin, of course.” He replied confidently, lifting his head with a grin.

The comment made you crack a real smile at last, and out of habit your hands found his cheeks to cup them. “Yeah?” You hummed. “Maybe I do.”

Changbin giggled in that boyish way of his, scrunching his nose and nuzzling into your touch. His lips brushed against yours as he did so, making your heart skip a beat at the sudden closeness, and you wasted no time before closing the gap between you.

He made a soft, content noise as your mouth connected with his. You kept your hands on Changbin’s cheeks, holding him in place to deepen this kiss while his own hands moved to latch on to your shirt.

The sensation of his warm, plush lips against yours instantly eased your tension, but despite that, you were itching for more within seconds. All the pent up stress inside you was aching to be released, and your restraint faltered as you grazed your teeth along his lower lip.

A sweet sound escaped Changbin, heightening your desire at an alarmingly quick rate. He opened his mouth wider in response to you nibbling on the sensitive skin, allowing you to slip your tongue inside.

Another soft moan tumbled out of him that made your spine tingle with excitement, and you moved your hands up to his hair to tangle your fingers in it.

Just as you felt yourself getting lost in the kiss, Changbin pulled back to give you a curious look, picking up on the underlying hunger in your movements. He licked his lips out of habit, trying to compose himself before he spoke.

“Do you...” He began tentatively, unsure if he had read you right. “Do you wanna keep going?”

“Only if you do.” You murmured. “I’m feeling a little mean today. Think you can handle it?”

Changbin nodded eagerly, and you knew by the way he clung to you that he’d become just as riled up in such a short time. “Let me make you feel good.” He urged, brown eyes full of an adorable determination.

A new look crossed your face that was almost unreadable, at least until the next words left your lips. “You think you can make me feel good?” You cooed, a hint of mockery creeping into your voice. “Don’t give yourself so much credit, Binnie.”

Your words made Changbin’s cheeks redden, and he averted his eyes in embarrassment. “I can…” He insisted quietly, biting his lip. “Please, let me.”

He gripped your shirt tighter as if to emphasize his plea, making the corner of your mouth curve up just barely.

“Hmm, you don’t sound so sure.” You tilted your head. “You’re not lying to me, are you?”

You gave Changbin’s hair a harsh tug, morphing anything he’d planned to say into an embarrassingly high-pitched squeak.

Without giving him the chance to recover, you leaned forward and attached your lips to his neck. His breath hitched in surprise, and a stifled moan quickly followed as you opened your mouth against his skin. You left hot, wet kisses along the column of his throat, only stopping to suck intently right below his Adam’s apple.

Changbin whimpered as you took his soft skin between your teeth and bit down with little restraint. Your hands felt up his muscles as they found their way down his body, giving his waist a squeeze for good measure.

“W-wait,” He stuttered out. “Let me do it.”

He swallowed hard as you gave the mark you’d created a soothing lick, his throat bobbing beneath your tongue. “You’ll get your turn,” You mumbled. “But first I’m gonna have my way with you.”

Changbin melted at that, going quiet once more. Pleased with his reaction, you continued sucking fervently, creating another love bite at the base of his throat. He let out a low whine as you nipped gently above his collarbone, encouraging him to tilt his head even further and grant you better access.

Your hands slipped under the hem of his shirt, feeling up his warm skin underneath. He immediately complied with your silent order, tilting back just enough to give you leeway to remove his top and pull it over his head, tousling his hair in the process.

You licked your lips as his upper body was revealed to you, taking in the sight of his toned chest and arms, as well as the bright splotches of red forming on his skin thanks to your mouth. The blush was back on his face in an instant, your stare made him squirm sheepishly in place.

“Such a gorgeous body.” You hummed, trailing a finger down the curve of his chest. “And good for only one thing, hm?”

Goosebumps formed on Changbin’s skin wherever your touch roamed. “M-mhm.”

His meek reply strengthened your desire to see him turn hot with shame. “Why don’t you tell me what that is?” You prompted.

Changbin bit his lower lip once more, a look of hesitation crossing his face.

“Making you feel good.” He offered weakly.

You frowned at that, unsatisfied with his answer. “C’mon, baby boy,” You pressed, taking hold of his chin and forcing him to look at you. “Be more specific for me.”

He struggled to hold your gaze, his pupils wide with arousal and flickering from you to the mattress. Another whine slipped out of him when he realized you weren’t going to let up, and he inhaled sharply as if to steel himself.

“I’m only good for f-fucking you.”

Changbin felt a fresh wave of humiliation wash over him the moment the words left his mouth, and you finally allowed the giggle you’d been holding back to slip out. “That’s it.” You purred, giving his burning cheek a pat of approval.

He ducked his head as soon as your hand left his chin, and his embarrassment only grew when you came to notice the bulge that had begun to form in his pants.

“Seems like Binnie likes being reminded of his place.” Your hand traveled down to ghost over his clothed length, making him jump when you gave it an unexpected squeeze.

He whimpered in a feeble protest, unable to deny it when he was so obviously hard in your palm, no doubt from your teasing. You curled your fingers around him, applying just enough pressure to make his breathing pick up.

Your free hand trailed along Changbin’s shoulder and down to his bicep, grazing over the skin in a way that had him longing for more. He pushed his hips forward just barely, and a tiny mewl escaped him as your index finger passed over his hardened nipple. “Such an eager little slut.”

“Please…” He whined softly, squeezing his eyes shut.

The need in his voice fueled you like nothing else, and you palmed at his bulge a few more times before pulling your hand away. He exhaled shakily, his dick twitching at the loss.

“Undress.” You ordered finally.

Changbin’s hands instantly flew down to undo the buttons of his pants, and you watched in amusement as he fumbled with them. He wiggled out of the clothing almost too quickly, pulling his boxers down in one go. A light hiss left his lips as he sprang free, and you felt a rush of arousal as his cock came into view, standing up against his stomach.

“So hard for me,” You marveled, eyes lingering on the beads of precum that had begun to leak out of him. “You gonna put this to good use?”

You took hold of his length roughly, eliciting an especially loud squeak. “Y-yes!” He managed, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. “I’ll be a good boy for you.”

“We’ll see.” You replied. The disinterest in your voice earned a childish pout from him, but he stayed quiet nonetheless, knowing better than to challenge you.

You leaned back lazily against the cushions, still fully clothed. “Don’t just sit there looking lost,” You scolded. “Get to work.”

Changbin stuttered out an apology before complying, hands unsteady as he moved to undress you. His big eyes darted up to yours, wordlessly asking for permission to remove your clothing. You simply nodded, making no effort to lift your arms or hips in order to help him.

He didn’t complain, however, instead doing his best to pull off your shirt and pants as smoothly as possible.

He swallowed hard as your body was fully exposed to him, and a low, needy noise formed in the back of his throat as you spread your legs, allowing him to see the part of you he craved so desperately.

Changbin wasted no time before shifting from his spot, his whole body trembling in anticipation as he adjusted his position to settle between your legs. The head of his cock slid along your folds, making the both of you suck in a sharp breath.

“Go on, Binnie.” You invited. “Let’s see if you’re as good of a boy as you say you are.”

Your order had an underlying threat to it that made his heart skip a beat. Carefully he lined himself up with your entrance and began to ease in little by little. A long, broken moan escaped him as he slid inside of you, the wet heat engulfing him and clouding his senses.

Your toes curled as he bottomed out inside you, and you let out a heavy, almost relieved exhale. It took Changbin several moments to collect himself, his eyes briefly fluttering closed as the pleasure sunk in. “Hah...so good,” He gritted his teeth.

Bracing himself, he pulled out of you, struggling to suppress a groan as he did so. He left just the tip of his length inside before pushing forward sharply, filling you up once more.

With your words in mind, he immediately repeated the action, jerking his hips and earning a shaky sigh from you. “That’s it,” You breathed. “Keep going.”

The encouragement urged Changbin on, and he began to thrust in and out of you at a steady pace. His teeth dug into his plush bottom lip as he increased his speed, trying and failing to keep his moans under control.

The sounds began to spill out of him with little restraint as he lost himself in the addictive rhythm. His cock brushed against your walls in a way that sent shivers down your spine, and a sinful cry escaped Changbin as you clenched around him.

“You make the sweetest noises,” You hummed. “Even while doing something so filthy.”

Changbin’s face grew hot, your comment making him realize just how loudly his voice was ringing out already. Despite that, he resisted the urge to hold back his cries, knowing how much hearing them satisfied you.

“Th-thank you,” He stammered weakly. “You f-feel amazing...so hot and—ngh—wet.”

Your hand slid along his back and up to his head, lacing your fingers in his soft hair like before. “Yeah? Sounds like you’re feeling even better than me.” You drawled, the scorn seeping back into your voice. “Binnie likes fucking me like a desperate whore?”

Your jab was met with a flustered whimper, and Changbin ducked his head to let his bangs fall into his gaze. “Y-yes.” He mewled. “Love it.”

You used your hold on his head to yank it back up, forcing his eyes to meet yours. They quivered slightly as he held your stare, wide as moons and glossed over with lust. “Is it–ah–good for you, too?” He asked meekly.

The question sounded far too innocent given the way Changbin was sliding in and out of you, stimulating every inch of your core in just the right way. His expression silently begged for your approval, only fueling your desire to mess with him further.

“Mm...you can do better than that, can’t you?” You dug your nails into his scalp. “Or do you only care about getting yourself off?”

Changbin whined pathetically, clinging to you in distress. “No!” He protested. “Wanna m-make you feel good. Please, tell me what to do.”

“Faster.” You ordered simply.

His hips snapped forward instantly, following your demand without missing a beat. He leaned forward to drop his head on your shoulder, letting out a choked sob as his pace increased.

The way his thrusts picked up made you gasp lightly, and you wrapped your legs around his waist to steady him. The action allowed his cock to reach even deeper inside you, sending sparks of electricity through both of your bodies.

Changbin’s lips ghosted over the skin of your shoulder momentarily before he began pressing urgent kisses along it, trailing towards your neck. The soft warmth of his mouth combined with the pleasure each jerk of his hips brought melted away any remnants of stress, leaving you to focus only on how perfectly he filled you up.

“You were made for this, hm, Binnie?” You purred. “Just a fucktoy built to please me.”

The taunt made his ears burn in embarrassment, but despite that, he nodded almost frantically. “H-hah...yes.” He panted into your skin. “Just wanna be the b-best toy for you.”

His plush lips continued moving up your neck, and you couldn’t help your moan as he opened his mouth against you, his kisses growing wet and sloppy. The sound urged Changbin on, and he rutted into you with more vigor, solely fixated on bringing you to your climax.

Small beads of sweat began to form on his forehead from all his efforts, and his damp hair tickled your skin as his lips covered every inch of your neck. Your hands found their way to Changbin’s shoulders, while his hands moved up to paw at your chest, kneading the soft flesh with an adorable urgency.

“Oh, God,” He whimpered. “It’s s-so good.”

His cock twitched as he gave a particularly hard thrust, and he pulled away suddenly with a gasp. “G-gonna cum soon!”

You dug your fingernails into his shoulders, making him falter. “Are you?” You clicked your tongue. “You think you get to cum inside me, just like that?”

The question snapped Changbin from his daze, and his eyes darted down to give you a helpless look. “I—please,” He whimpered, not even giving himself to be ashamed of how quickly he resorted to beginning. “P-please let me, I’ve been a good boy.”

“You don’t get to decide that.” Your hand slid up to his neck. “Once I’m finished, I’ll think about whether you can cum.”

Changbin whined miserably, but he didn’t dare complain, too determined on his goal to please you. Your fingers danced around his neck before fully gripping it, squeezing the sides and earning a filthy groan from the boy. His eyes fluttered shut, eyebrows furrowing as he focused on delaying his high and bringing you to yours.

His thrusts slowed in pace in an attempt to contain the overwhelming pleasure building in his abdomen. Your breath hitched as the head of his length brushed against your sweet spot, your fingers pressing deeper into his skin. He immediately noticed your reaction, and he angled his hips properly before jerking them forward again, recreating the delicious sensation.

“Right there,” You tightened your hold on his hair. “Even a dumb whore like you can figure it out, yeah?”

The sweat on Changbin’s forehead began to trickle down his face as both of your orgasms drew closer and closer, stray droplets splattering onto your skin. He gritted his teeth, trying with all his might to hold himself together for you.

Your breathing became less and less controlled as the hot pressure built up inside you. Changbin’s cock jerked as he hit your sweet spot just right, causing a broken gasp to tumble out of you. The sudden burst of pleasure sent you over the edge all at once, and before you knew it, you were cumming.

Changbin’s own strangled moans mixed with yours as you clenched around him, making his head spin as he continued thrusting into you. Your orgasm was intense as it washed over you, and you arched your back off the cushions, letting the blissful feeling rid you of the last of your worries.

“Ngh...please!” Changbin’s desperate call rang out through the room before you’d even finished, his voice breaking. “Gonna go crazy. Please, can I c-cum?”

You struggled to catch your breath, the waves of pleasure still rippling through your body. “Think you deserve to cum inside, angel?” You hummed, taking in his wrecked state through half-lidded eyes.

“Y-yes…inside, please,” He mewled. “W-wanna cum inside. Wanna fill you up, please—ah—let me.”

“So filthy, Binnie.” You laughed breathlessly at his babbling, loosening your hold on his neck. “Go ahead, let it all out.”

That was all it took for Changbin to come undone. With one last snap of his hips, he reached his climax, pushing his length as deep into you as possible as his seed spilled out of him. He let out a sob of pleasure, and the sound of it along with the hot sensation of his cum coating your walls made you shiver.

His hand palmed helplessly at your chest, and you pulled him down into a kiss to muffle his cries. The feeling of his swollen lips against yours made you sigh, and you kissed him over and over as he whimpered into your mouth.

You stayed that way for several moments, relishing in Changbin’s cute sounds as he emptied the last of his load inside of you. Your hand dropped to rest on his back, rubbing it gently as he came down from his high.

It wasn’t until your lungs began to ache for air that you pulled away, a trail of saliva connecting your shiny lips. Changbin’s eyes finally fluttered open as you broke the kiss, and his eyes were hazy when they connected with yours.

“Good boy.” You murmured.

After all your harsh words, the simple praise made Changbin’s face break out into a bright smile. “I did well?” He asked shyly, eager to draw out any compliments he could. You gave a lazy smile of your own, using what little energy you had to brush back his damp bangs and place a kiss to his forehead.

“You always do.” You replied sweetly, admiring his flushed cheeks. You shifted a bit as you settled back against the cushions, making Changbin realize with a start that he was still inside you. Sucking in a deep breath, he braced himself and delicately pulled out, causing your sensitive bodies to jerk in unison.

Changbin licked his lips as he noticed his seed slowly dripping out of you, his eyes practically gleaming at the sight of it. “So much…” He murmured, almost absentmindedly. “Don’t want it to spill.”

You felt a strange affection as you studied his cute expression, knowing how proud he must be feeling.

“We should get you stressed out more often.” He commented playfully, readjusting his position to fully nestle into you.

You snaked your arms securely around him, giggling along as he rested his face in the crook of your neck. “Don’t even think about it.”

#skz smut #sub!skz #sub!changbin #dom!reader #changbin smut

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simmerika · 1 year

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MAMA & MINIS: A PARENT-CHILD POSEPACK

Hey friends!! MY FIRST RELEASE OF THE NEW YEAR IS HERE! (Sorry for yelling, it's been a long time coming lol) I've had this in the works for so long and finally made it happen despite lots of tech issues. This posepack turned out so dang cute and I hope you all love it as much as I do!

DOWNLOAD HERE (PATREON, EARLY ACCESS FREE)

You will need:

Teleporter Mod

Pose Player

Disclaimer: I try to make my poses while taking into consideration Sims' different body shapes/types. However, it is nearly impossible to make poses fit every Sim ever made, so you may experience gapping or clipping based on their body type and/or clothing.

SimmErika TOU:

✨ Do not reupload on ANY website

✨ Do not claim as your own

✨ Do not change the package files

✨ Please give credit when using the poses (@simmerika AND #simmerikaposes on IG: so I can thank you and hype up your posts)

✨ Use of my poses is allowed for blender renders, but please do not alter the poses.

✨ Violation of these TOU will result in a permanent ban from my Patreon, Instagram, tumblr, etc.

---------------

@ts4-poses

#simmerikaposes #familyposes #sims4cc #sims 4 cc #sims 4 poses #simblr #simstagram

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simspaghetti · 8 months

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Ancient Modernity Makeover DOWNLOAD

Hello!! I had a few requests to put this build up for download, and since I just recently hit 800 followers (eeek!! Thank you so much 😭😭) I figured this was a good gift to show my thanks!

Disclaimer: The original version from Gen2 of my Random Legacy uses a ridiculous amount of CC but this is a stripped-back model to make it more accessible for most players, if it looks different that’s why!

Tour Pictures:

Download & more info under the cut! ⬇️

Basic Information:

Price: Furnished = §85,896 / Unfurnished = §48,259

Lot Size: 40x40

2 Bedrooms / 2 Bathrooms

Furnished for 2 Sims (A Couple), 1 Baby/Toddler and 1 Dog

Potential to turn the upstairs fashion studio into a bedroom as well

Expansions Needed:

World Adventures / Ambitions / Supernatural / Late Night / Seasons / Pets / University Life / Generations

I appreciate that this build still uses quite a bit of CC, so for my minimal CC playing folks, I’ve also made an unfurnished shell version, which uses much less!

Unfurnished Shell CC:

BlamsEAStore:

Casually Corrugated Wall

Plants: Lovely Lupin / Bird of Paradise / Swiss Cheese

Dolly Door

Posture Glass Double Door

Greenhouse Window

Muntin Window

Other Creators:

AA6x7 Halved Progress Industrial Chic Window (Only the ‘top’ version)

(Solar Redux) A Sensible Panel

Additional CC for Furnished Version:

‼️You also need everything from the 'Unfurnished Shell' CC list‼️

Blams EA Store:

Bedside Cabinet-Ish End Table / Tropical Leaves of Repose / Murano Retro & Ripe Fruit Bowl / Alvar Vintage Chill Well Refrigerator / Grandmother’s Cooktop / Dirty-No-More Changing & Bathing Station

AroundTheSims3:

Ilona’s Kitchen Cabinet / Bree-KEA Kitchen Cabinets (Just the Normal version & the shorter version) EcoLiving Power Generator / Summer Festival Stylist Station

Other Creators:

Basimcly Simple Curtains Mutske (TSR, sorry!) Florence Curtains ChasmChronicle (MTS): DIY Curtains, Blinds & Shutters - Only the 'Medium rolled up blinds' are needed! Twinsimming: Curtain Call - Both Billionaire’s Curtains & Fashion Forward - Trending Style Board (final) / Industrial Clothing Rack / Clothes by MLys (without dress) KandiRaverSims: Cats&Dogs - Bella Curtain (Both sizes) & Laundry Day - Ironing Board / Shelving Essentials

TOU: Don’t reupload or claim as your own, tags on posts aren’t necessary but are definitely appreciated :) - Feel free to modify or refurnish the build however you want!

➡️ DOWNLOAD IT HERE

(Simfileshare Folder with both Furnished & Unfurnished versions included)

These are library files, so they go in your The Sims 3 -> Library folder

Alsoo this is my first time uploading a build, so please let me know if you encounter any issues!

Have fun using this build in your game! I’d love to see pictures of your sims using the build if you do tag me, and thank you again for 800 followers - it's bananas that I've hit that number, I'm so thankful to all of you!! :D

#sims 3 #ts3 #ts3 download #sims 3 house #ts3 cc #sims 3 build #sims 3 download #ts3 lot #s3cc #my resources #cc finds

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bubsdubs · 8 months

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"Vargas" Chapter 19 : Gradient (Part 1) (Reupload)

(Video reuploaded due to audio issues. Thank you for understanding)

They both knew it was a lie.

They both knew it had to end.

(Best enjoyed with headphones.)

Part 19 (part1 ) of @zarla-s 's epic fic “Vargas”. Please show her your support!

Vargas on AO3

Join ‘Bubs Dubs’s Hub’: PM for Invite

The “Vargas” Playlist is Here.

(P.S: Sorry if the audio seems all over the place. Between moving houses AND countries, things have been all over the place. The upload schedule will pick up soon!)

-Bubs xx

Bonus Art:

With Thumbnail Filter:

#sorry about the inconvenience #vargas #zarla #zarla-s #zarla s #jthm #edgar vargas #scriabin #johnny the homicidal maniac #vargas audiobook #my readings #my art #cheeky bit of astral projection #youtube

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minminyoonjii · 1 year

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Mini Log #1 [Bang Chan/Lee Felix/Fem! Reader]

❤️Ultimate Masterlist

💚Series Masterlist

💜Rules and Guidelines

🌹CW

💛AN If you saw this post previously, you are not wrong. Tumblr messed up the tags [Fic didn't show under them after a day from upload time] and I had to reupload it because retyping the tags in the original upload didn't fix the issue. I apologize to those who suddenly saw the fic disappear from their likes. I hope this post doesn't break like the previous one. Thank you @berryberrytan|@skzblogsblog|@alixstay|@anakvasantha for liking the original broken fic💛

💌 This is a work of fiction, I by all means don't force ship anyone. They have the right to love whomever they want.

🍄Wordcount: 1.3K

You knocked on Chan's studio door "Daddy?" you questioned, peeking your head into the room. Chan fixated his gaze on his laptop, not aware of your presence. You jutted your bottom lip, walking towards him "Daddy," you whispered, blowing against his skin. Chan shivered, jolting when he noticed you "My god, baby. You scared me," he chuckled, pulling you onto his lap. You pouted, crossing your arms. Chan cooed, "What's wrong, sweet girl?" he asked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You grumbled, hooking your chin over his shoulder "Daddy missed breakfast again," you sulked. Chan's heart sank, "Even if daddy wasn't there, did you eat little one?" he asked, rubbing your back. You shook your head "Not yet," you whispered, fidgeting with your fingers. Chan sighed, "Baby," he stressed, cupping your face. You whined, averting your eyes "I know but I need daddy there," you whimpered.

Chan pursed his lips, staring at his laptop and then back at you. He let out an exhale, "Okay baby, let's have breakfast together," he said after saving his files and putting his laptop to sleep. You kissed his cheek "Thank you, daddy," you said, wrapping your legs around his waist. "I should thank you for being persistent, baby girl," he said, carrying you. "What was daddy working on?" you asked, nuzzling his neck.

Chan hummed, "It's just a demo track for your Uncle Binnie," he said, walking towards the kitchen. You nodded, "Ah," you said, brushing your fingers up Chan's hair. He smirked, "You weren't paying attention to a word I said, were you," tickling your sides. You giggled, "N-no," you stuttered, squirming in his hold. Chan chuckled, placing multiple pecks on your face "Cheeky little thing," he said, lightly biting your cheek.

"No biting, daddy" you whined, slapping his chest. Chan laughed, wincing "Okay, okay. I'm sorry, little one," he said, walking towards the kitchen. You hummed, "Can I help daddy make breakfast?" you asked, tilting your head. "There's no need for that, sweetheart," Felix said, untying his apron. "Mommy," you squealed, making grabby hands towards him. Felix cooed, taking you from Chan "Our sweet girl did a great job at making daddy come down for breakfast," he praised.

"Thank you, mommy" you preened, nuzzling Felix's cheek. He chuckled, kissing your forehead "You mister, should've come down in the first place," he scolded, hitting Chan's shoulder. "Ow, my love. I'm sorry," Chan pouted, rubbing the back of his nape apologetically. Felix squinted his eyes, placing a short peck on Chan's lips "You're forgiven now sit down," he said, taking a seat. Chan's ears grew red, "Yes dear," he said, following Felix's orders.

Felix rolled his eyes, hiding his smile "Eat before the pancakes get cold," he said, handing Chan the bottle of honey. Chan chuckled, taking the honey from Felix "Thank you, mommy," he teased. Felix felt his cheeks burn up, "Oh shut up, Chris," he growled, feeding you a slice of the pancake he cut. You shook your fists, taking a bite. Chan smiled, reaching over to wipe the syrup dripping down the side of your lips "Messy little girl," he said, licking the syrup off his thumb.

You whined, huffing your cheeks. Felix cooed, "Cutie," he said, feeding you another bite. Breakfast when along with peace and serenity in the air. You rubbed your eyes, taking the last bite off Felix's fork "Good girl," Chan praised, ruffling your hair. You leaned your head on Felix's shoulder "Aww, is our baby girl sleepy?" he asked, stroking your cheek. You shook your head, sitting straight "Not sleepy," you mumbled, melting into his warmth.

Chan chuckled, "I think our little one is," he said, bringing the dishes to the sink. You whined, "I'm not," you protested, curling up. Felix cooed, "Okay baby, let's watch a movie while your daddy finishes the dishes," he suggested, carrying you to the sofa. You nodded, snuggling into Felix's chest, "Can we watch Rapunzel?" you asked, clutching his shirt in your fist. Felix smiled, kissing your forehead "Of course, sweetie," he said, playing the movie.

Chan dried his hands, running his fingers through Felix's hair "Is she asleep?" he whispered, kissing Felix's forehead. Felix hummed, "She is," he whispered back, stroking your hair. Chan smiled, "I'll go shut down my laptop and meet you in the room. I could use a nap myself," he said, cracking the joints in his neck. Felix nodded, gently shifting you "Alright," he said, lifting you up. Chan stared at you both for a bit. Felix raised an eyebrow "What's wrong?" he asked.

Chan shook his head "Nothing, I just love you both," he said, pulling Felix in for a kiss. Felix's eyes widened before he sunk into the feeling. Chan pulled away, stroking Felix's cheek "I love both of you so much," he whispered, kissing your forehead. Felix's cheeks burned, "I speak for both of us when I say we love you too," he whispered, biting his bottom lip. Chan traced his thumb across lips "You're going to hurt yourself like this, my love," he whispered, lightly pressing Felix's lip from his teeth.

Felix gulped, avoiding eye contact "We'll meet you in the room, daddy," he said, carrying you up the stairs. Chan chuckled, running his fingers through his head "Fuck," he cursed, heart pounding within his chest. Felix tucked you under the sheets, placing a plush toy under your arms. You whined, snuggling deeper into the pillows. Felix chuckled, rubbing your sides "Sweet dreams," he whispered, laying next to you.

Chan walked in, and his breath got caught at the sight of Felix holding you close to his chest "My heart," he whispered, moving the blankets aside. Felix grumbled, turning his head "Chris?" he rasped, squinting his eyes. "Go back to sleep, Lix," Chan shushed, spooning Felix's back. "Sleep well, my loves," he added before closing his own eyes and drifting to sleep.

You woke up hours later to an empty bed. You frowned holding the plush toy in your hand and trudged off to Chan's studio. You didn't bother knocking on the door and immediately crawled onto Chan's lap. He chuckled, holding you close "Aww, is my little one still sleepy? Do you want to snuggle up on daddy's lap while he's working?" he asked, nosing your hair. You nodded, drifting back to sleep with the sounds of Chan's mumbles serving as white noise.

Felix walked into an empty room, and worry pricked his heart "Where is she?" he panicked, lifting up the blankets. He took in a deep inhale, trying to calm his nerves "I'll just check Hyung's room," he said, walking towards the studio. He turned the knob and a sigh of relief escaped his lips "Oh sweetheart, you almost gave me a heart attack," he mumbled, finding you peacefully curled up on Chan's lap. Chan removed his headphones "Are you alright, love?" he asked, turning his gaze to Felix.

Felix nodded, "Little one scared me when I saw she wasn't in the room," he explained, stroking your hair. Chan frowned, "Ah, shit. I should've given you a heads up," he said, downcasting his eyes. Felix sighed, cupping Chan's face "It's fine, really," he said. Chan shook his head "No, it isn't I should've…" he got cut off by Felix's lips meeting his. Chan gasped before deepening the kiss. Felix moaned into the kiss, holding the sides of Chan's chair.

Chan pulled away, panting "God," he chuckled. Felix smiled, "You really should know when to shut up, Chris," he teased, catching his breath. Chan rolled his eyes, a dopey smile on his lips "Yes dear," he teased. Felix hummed, "Is the baby staying with you?" he asked, adjusting the slipping plush. Chan nodded "At least until she wakes up," he said, rubbing your back. "I'll come back up when it's time for dinner," he said, kissing your forehead and then Chan's.

"Okay, we love you," he said, giving Felix his dimpled smile. Felix shook his head, neck tinting red "I love you both too," he said, closing the door. Chan chuckled, shifting you closer "I guess it's just you and me, princess," he said, fixating his gaze on his laptop once more.

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69bitterbeingz · 5 months

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IF YOU'RE GONNA BE DUMB || CH. 10

<- prev | next ->

DISCLAIMER: This is a reupload from my prev account! best to follow the fic through ao3 [linked below] to avoid any future issues PAIRINGS - johnny knoxville, bam margera, steve-o, chris pontius, ryan dunn x female reader WARNINGS - swearing, drinking, injury

ao3 version

After struggling for far too long to fit your key in the lock, you pushed through the front doorway, suitcase trailing behind you. Hard to say if it was the jet lag, the 10 hour flight, or the many many drinks that were had on that flight, but either way you felt fucking rough. You squinted as you looked into the foyer, fumbling around for the lightswitch, but when you found it you were surprised to see Dan bundled up in a blanket on the sofa. That’s strange, you thought, by this time he’s usually long gone. He glanced over at you by the front door when the light switched on, and you couldn’t help noticing he looked tired, and his eyes were rimmed red. You stared back, shutting the door behind you.

“Hey… kinda late for you, isn’t it?”

He chuckled awkwardly, glancing away from you. “Suppose it is, just… don’t feel like going to bed.”

… So… do you point it out? That tension of something going unsaid? Or maybe you were reading too much into things and nothing was going on, after all you were only gone for a week, what could really happen in that time? Dan still was staring at the floor, fiddling with his blanket and tensed like he was awaiting something. Watching him squirm, you felt an uncomfortable acidic feeling in your throat. Does he even want to talk? Were you really in the best state to do it?

“How was the shoot?” He asked, soft spoken, and you decided to forget whatever it was you walked in on.

“Good, productive, it’s uh… maybe a few weeks of editing then it airs.”

“It must’ve been fun.” He cracked a small smile, and you mirrored his expression, sitting next to him on the couch.

“Yeah, don’t know if I recommend staying in the same house as them, but it wasn’t boring .” You sighed, throwing yourself back into the couch cushions - god, so much more comfortable than an airplane seat. “House is still standing too, so I guess my parents won’t kill me.”

“Glad for both of you, from what I remember that place is lovely .” He let himself relax next to you, and you grinned as you remembered the few times you spent there.

“Remember those ‘olympics’ we used to throw there?”

“The Coke Olympics?” Dan tried to keep back his giggles, his hand smacking onto his forehead. “That was… bad. Fuckin’ dodgy shit.”

“Those people were dodge, I don’t think we even knew ‘em.”

“I think they followed us after a gig…?”

“To be fair, I probably invited ‘em. Sorry I guess.”

Dan playfully punched your shoulder, making you chuckle pleasantly as you leaned your head back and stared at the ceiling, making out each crack in the plaster. “What would you do without me?” He didn’t respond at first, prompting you to glance over at him with a slight crease in your brow; he seemed pensive, before he noticed you looking at him. He cracked a small smile.

“Yeah, what would I do?”

You felt a buzz in your pocket, and with a deep sigh, you pulled out your phone and flipped it open to see a text from Johnny.

Knox: jeff says check your email. Sweet dreams :)

An email from Jeff? That piqued your interest.

“Uh, I think I’m gonna go up.” You excused, rubbing your eye with the heel of your palm as you got up from the sofa.

“Oh, sure, you must be knackered from the plane. You can tell me about it tomorrow.”

“You not going to bed yet?” You asked - he seemed just as exhausted as you, and you hoped mentioning it might coax him up. However, he just scratched the back of his neck, bringing his blanket closer to his chest.

“I’m not… really tired, I’ll go in a bit.”

You pulled a face, furrowing your eyebrows, but you weren’t going to fight him on it. You wished him a good night, and grabbed your suitcase to drag it up to your room. It was abandoned in the corner of said room once you got in - like hell were you unpacking any time soon - and headed for your desktop, switching on the monitor and computer tower before taking a seat. You pulled your legs up towards your chest as the system slowly booted up, the internet chugging once you logged in. Lo and behold, there was a new email in your inbox.

Hey, it was cool working with you on the UK shoot, thanks again for putting us up at your place, really did us a solid. MTV’s throwing a kinda end-of-shoot celebration party, and they wanted to book your band to play. After the set you guys are all free to hang out and drink with the rest of us, of course. Everyone’s gonna be there.

If you’re interested, let me know as soon as you can. The party’s in three days, and you’ll be paid. Once [if] you confirm, someone will be in touch to give you the total run down with details and everything.

Thanks, Jeff

You raised your eyebrows - a gig, huh? Maybe this’ll shut Mila up, ‘not doing band shit’ your ass, you told him you were making connections.

Hey, it’s cool, glad i didn’t have to pay for the trip. I have to talk to my guys first but it’s almost a definite that we’ll play, first gig since we moved to LA!

I’ll confirm for sure in the morning. Sleep easy.

[Y/n]

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

Mila damn near lost his shit when a glossy black stretch limo showed up outside your house. He was clutching his guitar like it was the only thing stopping him from going completely insane, and that excitement was infectious. “Holy shit look at that thing!” You exclaimed, approaching it as if it was a wild animal that might flee any second; reverently, you laid your open palms on the body of the car.

“I know right? Who the fuck let us in a goddamn limo?!” Mila’s pitch was all over the place as he started bouncing on the balls of his feet. Dan stood there and just stared with wide eyes, clearly as stunned as you two.

“MTV must have a lot of trust in us…” The brunette mumbled, looking nearly concerned at the concept of what the three of you could do to such an expensive vehicle.

“Considering the people they employ for their shows, we’re probably the least of their worries.” You quipped, turning to Mila as he started caressing the limo next to you. “Y’know, kinda surprised you’re so stoked.”

Mila screwed up his nose, giving you a scrutinous look. “Why the hell wouldn’t I be stoked about a goddamn limo? ”

“Dunno, thought you might turn your nose up, too punk for a shitty limo I imagined you saying in that nasally voice–”

He shoved you away, making you snicker. “ What the fuck ever, this is cool as shit .”

All the while, the limo driver watched you all with the passenger door held open expectantly, probably a little miffed that you guys wouldn’t just get in the car already. Dan was the first to notice and cleared his throat to catch your attention, nodding his head to the side to motion to the guy; you were the second to feel self conscious. Mila didn’t give a fuck, as per usual.

“We should probably get going, shouldn’t we?” Dan asked, looking to the driver for confirmation - his subtle glance to the passenger door was all the answer you needed.

None of you had ever been in a limo before, and maybe you couldn’t speak for Dan, but you and Mila fucking prayed it wouldn’t be the last time. It was probably the coolest moving thing you’d ever get to be in [unless God smiles down on you and lets you ride a tractor some time] and the beers you were all pounding only enhanced the experience. It may sound lame, but shit, you really felt like a fucking rock star. You almost didn’t want to leave when you finally arrived in front of the hotel, but considering he was so nervous about somehow irreparably fucking up the limo, Dan couldn’t wait to get out into the fresh air. There were a considerable number of people hanging around outside, some with cameras at the ready, but others just seemed to be rowdy kids. There were few enough people that only a couple security guards and some railings were enough to keep them in check. Honestly you were bracing yourself for a bit more buzz for an MTV party, but it was still a lot of people, enough ruckus for you to keep your distance from those metal barriers. Besides, Mila seemed satisfied, grinning at the flashing photos being taken.

“Where did these guys even come from…?” Dan asked, warily surveying the crowd that had gathered outside. You shrugged, knocking back the rest of your beer.

“Eh, guess word got out that MTV was throwing a party. I doubt they even know who’s gonna be in there.”

“Wouldn’t it be cool if we go to a real red carpet some time?” Mila mused, careful not to drag his prized guitar as he followed you to the double door entrance, a guy with an earpiece and clipboard standing guard. You hummed, absentmindedly pivoting your bass by the neck, the bottom of it grinding against the floor. Mila looked at you with horror, quickly yanking it up from the floor so it didn’t get any more ruined than it already was.

“I don’t know, too many people, too many flashing lights.” You complained, taking back the bass and making a show of not letting it touch the ground; you nodded at the front doorman, and gave him your names. A quick glance at the list and you were allowed through, giving yourself a small fistbump on the way. There were people in the lobby, some taking photos for a more official looking photographer, and others just chatting. You didn’t really know who any of them were, until you spotted the two men emerging from the left corridor, one with black hair and the other blonde. All at once, you felt your face light up, and without hesitation you called out:

“ Bam! Dunn!”

They both snapped to attention at the familiar voice, and while Ryan looked happy to see you, Bam looked stoked. They hauled ass across the lobby to you guys, and you were surprised to be pulled into a hug when Bam got near enough to you.

“ Hey! Finally back from shitty old England!” He sounded so bubbly, keeping his hands on your arms even when he let you go from the embrace. Filling the gap, Ryan wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into him for another quick hug. Meanwhile, Dan and Mila both watched the interaction with confused expressions, wondering when you got so comfortable with other people.

“...Pretty friendly, huh?” Mila asked, furrowing his eyebrows. At that moment, you realised none of them had formally met each other.

“Guys, this is Bam and Ryan from the show.” You hooked your arms around each of their necks all while still holding your bass, pulling them down to your level. “And that’s Mila and Dan, my beloved bandmates.” Greetings all round, a little awkward on your bandmates’ end but thank god Bam and Ryan could carry a conversation so you wouldn’t have to. Dan couldn’t help bringing up Big Brother Magazine, which got him, Bam and Mila talking properly, making you beam like a proud mother. That left you and Ryan as the rest chatted amongst themselves.

“How did the shoot go?” Ryan asked, leaning down so he was next to your ear. The sudden closeness made you jump, but you quickly recovered and turned to face him.

“Pretty good, Johnny and Chris got savaged by a rugby team, Steve-O got bit by a sheep, I got kidnapped by a werewolf, fun stuff.”

“Got a lotta good footage then?”

“Yeah…” You trailed off for a second, remembering that moment you had to yourself at that bar on the last night. “...Wasn’t the same without you guys though.”

“What’re you talking about? Bam probably would’ve just thrown us in the Thames if we were there.”

“Probably.” You kicked your leg bashfully, fiddling with your bass strings. “I dunno, missed you guys.” Ryan seemed a little taken aback - he probably wouldn’t guess you’d miss him after just a week’s absence. Maybe you came across as clingy… you hoped not.

When you looked back up at his face, he was smiling down at you softly, an affectionate glint in his eyes. “Yeah, I missed you too. Uh- you guys , I mean.”

His fumble got you grinning back, playfully bumping his chest with the bass headstock.

“C’mon assholes, quit standing around and let's go to the party already.” Bam interrupted your little moment, shoving the side of Ryan’s head when he appeared out of nowhere. A shove back from Ryan before you all headed to the right corridor - apparently that was where the function room was. Bam made himself comfortable between you and Ryan, throwing an arm around you.

“You never called me back.” Bam pointed out, and you sucked the air through your teeth.

“Shit, sorry I meant to, I just…” You really were gonna call Bam that last night in England, but then you decided to get your shit rocked by a stranger. Bam waved you off before you could answer.

“Eh, doesn’t matter. Did you think about it at least?”

“Yeah, through the booze-y haze, definitely thought about it.”

“Well, wanna come to West Chester?” Ryan cut in. “Bam won’t shut up about it.”

“You say that like you haven’t been asking every day ‘did [Y/n] call? What did [Y/n] say? Ooh– ’”

Bam started laughing as Ryan grabbed him by the front of his shirt and wrestled him into a headlock. Dan and Mila gave them odd looks for the sudden rough housing, but you barely batted an eyelash, just slowing down so you could walk in step with your band members.

“What do you think of them?” You asked, motioning to the two in front. Mila raised an eyebrow with an amused smile.

“Yeah… they’re cool.”

“It’s cool to meet them in person.” Dan smiled, messing with his rings. “A bit surreal after seeing them in the videos and magazines.”

“Listen, Bam phoned me a little while back saying him and Ryan want me to come visit them in West Chester, and I think I’m gonna.”

Dan seemed a little confused; “Where’s West Chester…?” But Mila just looked annoyed.

“Fucking Pennsylvania? You’re kidding right?”

Oh hell. Of course he had something to say about it.

“ Christ , what’s your issue now? ”

“You just came back from England and now you’re pissing off again? We have band shit to do!”

“It’s not like we have a deadline for the album– besides, it’ll be for like a week! ”

Mila geared up to fire back, but stopped completely when Dan jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow, a little harsher than you really thought necessary. You raised your eyebrows, turning your attention to Dan. “I think you should go. It’s all building connections.” He didn’t even acknowledge Mila’s bewildered look, just gave you an affirmative nod. Weird… that was a little out of character, even if it benefited you. For a moment, you considered asking if there was something more to the blunt opposition, but you felt that maybe it wasn’t any of your business. So, you decided not to question him and just nodded in appreciation.

“Hey!” You called ahead, and Bam and Ryan stopped messing with each other long enough to pay you mind. “I’m coming to West Chester.”

Bam wormed out of Ryan’s hold with a bright smile. “ Awesome! This’ll be way cooler than whatever you guys did last week, promise.” It was definitely flattering that he was so enthusiastic about taking you home. Part of you was a little apprehensive about what mischievous shit they might have up their sleeve, but the overwhelming majority couldn’t wait.

The party was already in full swing by the time you guys got through the doors, a dark room with bright colourful lights and the loud chatter among guests. The bar in the far corner immediately caught your eye, especially when you recognised the guy currently ordering, leaning against the counter with an empty beer bottle in hand. You didn’t think to let anyone know before you wandered off, weaving through drunken party guests until you were right behind him. He was yet to notice you, idly chatting to the bartender - that’s when the impulse kicked in without you noticing.

“ Jesus! ” Johnny yowled, his voice rising in pitch and jumping entirely out of his skin before spinning on his heel, only to see you with your hands still in a claw shape. “ You –”

“A wedgie, yeah.”

“The hell for?!”

“Dunno, you let your guard down.”

He stared at you incredulously, a bewildered smile on his face, then shook his head with a giggle. “Oh I’m so getting you back for that.” You’re sure he wouldn’t go too hard on you. In fact, he was nice enough to order you a drink without you even asking, cheers-ing you with a grin once it arrived. “You glad to be back?”

“Been catching up with those assholes.” You nodded over to Bam and Ryan, the former seeming to have a ‘playful’ argument with Mila [though, if Mila saw it that way, you weren’t sure]. “Can’t believe how much I missed them while we were abroad… just felt like something was missing, y’know?” You chuckled, strangely bashful all of a sudden, and Johnny raised an eyebrow. He didn’t respond at first, just hummed as he swigged from the bottle; it was a little awkward waiting for him to say something. “I, uh.. I’m gonna go see ‘em in West Chester.”

“Oh yeah?” He cracked a smile, tilting his bottle this way and that to swirl the liquid. “Looks like you’re gonna meet Ape ‘n Phil.”

You tilted your head. “ ‘Ape and Phil’? ”

“You don’ know about Ape and Phil? I’m surprised Bam hasn’t at least mentioned them. They’re his parents.” Johnny explained, and you spluttered.

“His parents? Why would I meet his parents?” Why did the idea make you so deeply nervous, too? Johnny shrugged.

“Why wouldn’t you? They all live together - Ape, Phil, I think Ryan’s crashing in their guest room with Raab. If you’re staying with ‘em, you’ll meet ‘em.”

Another name you didn’t recognise, but you figured it wasn’t important if neither Bam or Ryan hadn’t mentioned this ‘Raab’. Then again, they never mentioned Bam’s parents either.

“Sounds pretty packed already…”

“Eh, not really, got a real nice house. Big, too. Only problem is they live in freezing as fuck West Chester.” Johnny knocked back the rest of his beer and called the bartender for another. “Don’t worry, they’re lovely people. Phil’s one hell of a good sport, considering the shit Bam puts him through.” You winced at the thought - knowing Bam, you could imagine the kinda ‘shit’ his dad would be put through.

“The guy sounds like a saint.”

“ Yeah , they’ll probably love you since you’re not a total monster like the rest of us.” He grinned at you, squeezing your shoulder. “Bet they’ll be begging an upstanding gal like you to stay.”

The sentiment made you giggle, a dash of red smudging across your cheeks. “We’ll see about that when I’m ten drinks in.”

The conversation was cut short when somebody came up behind you and tugged on your shirt.

“C’mon, quit yapping, we have a show to play.” But to Mila’s chagrin, Johnny’s southern hospitality kicked in, and he was getting up from his barstool to meet them.

“ You two must be [N/n]’s band! Nice to finally meet you guys, I’m Johnny Knoxville.” Johnny reached out a hand to Dan first and he readily accepted, surprised but welcoming when Johnny then pulled him into a quick one-armed hug, complete with a hearty pat on the back. Mila wasn’t quite as enthusiastic, accepting Johnny’s hand no problem but leaning away when he went for the same hug. Fair enough, Johnny wouldn’t think much of it. The man turned to you then, giving you a pat on the shoulder. “I better let you go then, don’t wanna keep your friends waiting.”

You nodded and finished the last of your beer, using your bass as leverage as you got up from your seat, just about hearing Johnny call out to you over the crowd: ‘break a leg!’

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

You forgot how electric the air feels when you’re on stage. The blinding lights, the heat of countless bodies in a crowd, the booze that burned the back of your throat between songs - it all blurred together into a euphoric high, one that you wanted to keep chasing, even when Dan had to pull you away from the spotlight. You couldn’t help yourself, you thought you would have struggled to get into that state of mind again, like you struggled the first time you faced a crowd, but if anything it was like coming home. Like you were all a family, joined by each other's instruments.

Reluctantly, the three of you left the stage for the hall’s backroom, but that didn’t stop that euphoria from pumping through your collective veins. Dan’s hands were still rhythmically flicking his drumsticks, like he was still banging out the beat; he was drenched in sweat, even a little breathless, but his smile’s never been wider. Mila was wildly ecstatic, jumping around with his guitar in a white-knuckled grip like if he didn’t get the energy out it might kill him. He laughed excitedly and you joined him, swinging him around before breaking away to grab Dan and hoist him up. Dan squealed and dropped his drumsticks to hold onto Mila’s shoulders for leverage, and he looked happy. His laugh sounded light, and through the exhilarating haze, a wave of relief rolled over you.

Man, you wanted a fucking smoke.

You left them to it, leaning your bass against the wall and making for the fire exit, slipping a box and lighter out of your back pocket. The cold biting air felt good on your blazing skin, drying the sweat as it hit. It was a nice night, but the stars weren’t as clear as they were in that field with Steve-O… you placed a cigarette between your lips, shielding it from the wind as you started to flick the flint. You realised you hadn’t seen Steve-O yet; come to think of it, you hadn’t seen Chris, either. Where had they gone off to…?

Just as the flame finally lit, you heard a groan. You froze, letting the flame blow out, and you realised whoever it was was still groaning. You looked around, but there was nobody near you - it must have been coming from around the corner of the building. Without much more thought, you followed your instinct and rounded the corner, though what stood there wasn’t what you expected.

“...The hell happened to you…?” You asked, and his head snapped up, obviously not expecting someone else there. His hand was still held over his nose and mouth so half of his face was obscured, but past that barrier you could see splatters of blood across his cheeks. His skin was discoloured in places, the precursors to bruising - one of his eyes was already starting to swell. He seemed almost sheepish, maybe embarrassed that you caught him in that state…?

“Oh hey, is your set already over?” Chris asked; not what you asked.

“Yeah, just finished.”

“ Shit , sorry, I promise I was there for the first part, but..”

“ But…? ” You pushed when Chris trailed off, and his shoulders tensed up.

“He was just some fucking asshole , I don’t know, I just–” He gestured with his free hand in a frustrated loss for words, “he fucking deserved it.”

You weren’t used to seeing Chris like this, usually so light hearted and goofy, but here he was glaring at his shoes with his face caked in blood. Gingerly, you stepped towards him and held onto his wrist to move his hand out of the way, and he didn’t stop you. You sucked the air through your teeth when you saw the damage; sure, not the worst you’ve seen, but he was definitely banged up. He smiled half heartedly, making the split in his lip ooze. “I guess I don’t look so pretty right now, huh?”

And you sighed, handing him the cigarette you were about to smoke. “You’re always pretty, Chris.”

You lit the cigarette for him, then led him to the fire escape. Mila and Dan weren’t there when the two of you entered, which might’ve been a good thing. A small bathroom was at one end of the backroom, so that’s where you took Chris. As you started to gently clean up his face, the pounding bass of the music playing in the main hall could be felt in that little room, like a backing track for the monotonous sound of the running tap. Though it looked like he was hurting, he tried to keep things light - you imagined the cigarette might be helping his mood. He hissed particularly harshly when you dabbed at his nose, a little heavier handed than you intended. Now that you looked at it, it seemed a little crooked. You must’ve looked concerned, as he tried to mask the pain.

“ Ah , that tickles.”

You bit your lip, your gaze briefly flicking up from his nose to his eyes, soft and bruised. “Sorry, ‘m a little too drunk to be delicate.”

“‘S okay.” He smiled reassuringly, and once you noticed it, you wondered how long you had been holding onto his wrist for? “Thanks for cleaning me up.”

“How do you feel?” You asked, and he faked thought for a second.

“ Hmm, like shit, I think.” He chuckled, then whined when it only made his face hurt. “I’m so over it, dude. Wanna go to bed.”

“...Let me take you home.”

He was taken aback by the offer, his smile dropping from his face, before it quickly returned. “You’re… sweet, but my car’s just outside.”

Shit, you forgot he was living in his car. Honestly, you’d rather he didn’t shack up in his cold little Toyota, at least not for tonight. The decision was impulsive, but you meant it.

“Come home with me, I mean.”

“What?” He almost didn’t seem to believe you, veering away from you; if it didn’t hurt, he probably would’ve screwed up his nose in an exaggerated expression.

“I don’t know, I wanna… make sure you’re alright, I guess.”

“...You… seriously want me to come crash at yours?”

“Yeah, you can take the sofa or something, it’s fine.”

“That’s…” Chris couldn’t really find the words, nervously looking at the floor before daring to look you in the eye again. “...You’re sure? ”

You couldn’t tell if he was being bashful or if you were making him outright uncomfortable - you really hoped it wasn’t the latter, hoped you weren’t being too pushy or weird. You nodded, now feeling tentative yourself. However, Chris didn’t seem averse to the idea; with your assurance, his shoulders started to relax, and he slowly leaned back towards you. He started to grin, a little uneasy at first but it soon became his familiar bright smile.

“Mind if we leave now…?”

“Nah, I’m over this place anyway.”

You waited for a cab round back, smoking the rest of your cigarette pack. Maybe you were a little bummed about leaving the party early, but it’s not like it’d be your last. Besides, when you glanced over at Chris in the backseat next to you, watching the lights flash by the window, you knew you’d rather see him safe than get shitfaced. Knowing he’d be safe and warm on your shitty couch made you feel better than getting up to whatever debauchery was going down right now. You’re sure somebody would fill you in on what happened.

Chris was out like a light once you set him up with a blanket on the sofa, face covered in plasters and a little gauze. He looked peaceful, holding the blanket close to him as he curled up, and you felt at ease as you trailed up the stairs, surprisingly tired. An early night wouldn’t kill you.

Something tells you he’d do the same for you.

#jackass fanfic #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #bam margera x reader #steve o x reader #chris pontius x reader #ryan dunn x reader #if you're gonna be dumb

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k-evans-reads · 2 years

Text

On Deck

Chapter 13

Summary: Although they grew up in the same small town, Chris and Sam had both gone their separate ways a long time ago. Chris moved up to become a MLB star, one of the best in the business, while Sam stayed stuck in the same small town. But when multiple injuries ended the Red Sox prodigy’s career, he winds up back in the same small town he swore he’d never be back to. The past may not stay in the past any longer, as old wounds begin to creep back up.

Pairing: MLB!Chris Evans X OFC Samantha “Sam” Merrick

Word Count: 5,005

By: @k-evans-writes and @ourfinest-hour

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Warnings: Arguments. A lot of them. Abandonment issues from childhood, poor parenting. The works.

Previous | Main Masterlist | On Deck Masterlist

The sound of the tiny bell ringing above the door rang through the diner as Chris stepped inside. He slid his keys into the pocket of his running shorts and reached up to move his sunglasses on top of his head while his blue eyes searched around the diner that had a few sporadic tables full of patrons, but Chris headed straight for his usual stool at the end of the counter.

He sat there patiently for a long moment before he felt a hand rub along his back, causing him to turn his head and smile widely when he saw a familiar curly headed brunette with those dimples showing as she grinned right back at him. Chris couldn’t help but feel warm from the inside out just from that look on her face, Sam just holding his gaze for a long moment before sneaking a quick kiss to his cheek when none of the customers were looking.

Chris sat back on the stool when Sam walked around to the other side of the counter, letting him see all the little pieces of hair falling out of her bun that she tried to smooth down before asking him, “So what are you doing here?”

“I’m here to have some of this award winning cuisine you serve here,” Chris smirked, eyes traveling Sam’s lanky body and following the movement of her hand, lingering on the curly dark hairs.

She scoffed, her nose scrunching as she said, “Yeah I bet.”

“Well there may be a waitress I’m kind of into that I wanted to see,” he then shrugged, a matching smirk on his lips.

“Sorry, Ify’s already married.”

“Very funny smartass,” Chris chuckled with a shake of his head. “I am actually hungry though. Can I get a sandwich, baby?”

“Sure,” Sam nodded easily, pushing herself off the back counter. “Anything else?”

He shook his head again, body relaxing finally after a few hours of errands. “No, I was just out picking up a couple things for Mexico and wanted to swing by and see you,” he admitted.

Sam turned to put the order in on the small touchscreen at the end of the rear counter, her back to Chris. “You’ll be proud of me,” she turned her head slightly to look at him from over her shoulder. “I actually used your card to buy a couple things for the trip yesterday.”

Chris kept his mouth shut at first, not wanting to tell her that he had purposely been checking his account history for that card, hoping he’d see some charges on it. But what he didn’t want her to know is how much his heart broke when he saw some of the charges on it were for such basic things like a suitcase, swimsuits, and even some new underwear since he had seen that most of hers had holes, were fraying or had obviously been sewn back together. He wanted her to feel comfortable to keep using his card though, so he purposely acted as if he didn’t know any of those things and instead just told her, “I am proud of you, baby. I want you to keep using it for whatever you want.”

A blush appeared on her pale cheeks, a tight look suddenly appearing as she amended, “Well I’m only buying a few things, but I did buy Riley that pair of Nike’s he wanted since he’s been… well, you know.”

“Is he any better?” Chris asked, eyebrows raised. He’d left the apartment before Sam that morning, going on a run around town and by the time he returned, both Sam and Riley were gone for the day. “I feel so bad for him. It’s so hard getting dumped and I know how crazy he was about Kayla.”

He watched as Sam deflated, a genuinely upset frown on her face. “I’ve never seen him so down in the dumps before. He’s just been so quiet. I’ve tried to get him to open up but he’s just bottling everything inside,” she whispered, moving back to Chris once she sent Chris’ usual chicken pesto sandwich into the kitchen.

Chris tapped his fingers on the slightly sticky counter, quietly telling her, “I’m going to try to talk to him.”

But before Sam could respond, the short-statured bald owner of the diner poked his head into the main room, a deep frown on his face as he barked, “Merrick! Are you going to do your job or stand around talking all day?”

Instantly Sam’s narrow shoulders tensed, her demeanor deflating and a deep red blush appearing on her cheeks. “Sorry,” she murmured, tossing Chris a last glance before she grabbed what little dishes were at the waitresses’ station and headed towards the doors to the kitchen.

“You better get your act together Merrick, I’m not keeping you around if you’re just going to flap your gums the whole shift,” Chris could hear Ken chewing her out as he followed her, Sam and Ken pausing right before the doors of the kitchen. “If I don’t see you working, I’m not giving you that time off.”

Sam turned to Ken with a confused expression on her face, her brows deeply furrowed. “Brooke and Ify are covering my shifts though,” she pointed out quietly.

“I don’t care, I already am regretting letting you have an entire week off in the first place so don’t test me, Merrick,” the man warned her, pushing in front of her and heading into the kitchen. Chris was quiet, but was seething with anger towards the rude asshole as he watched Sam revert back into herself, heading into the kitchen to drop the dishes. A few moments later, she returned with a soda in hand for Chris and headed back to his spot at the counter as he eyed his girlfriend carefully.

“What’s that look for?” Sam asked quietly as her eyes moved over the nearly empty diner.

“You know what,” Chris replied with a shake of his head, his voice just as low as hers. “I hate that you let him treat you that way.”

Sam sighed and shook her head, eyes staring down at her feet. “There’s not much I can do Chris, he’s my boss and I need this job,” she insisted with a deep breath, then shook her head again and met his eyes. “I better get back to work or Ken’s going to jump down my throat again. I’ll bring your food out as soon as it’s ready.”

Chris reached across the counter, giving her hand a small squeeze before she went back to running around the old diner. He hated seeing her here. Now that Sam spent most of her time at his apartment, he had seen how she was coming home from work. He saw the pure exhaustion, swollen feet, and bruises from bumping into things all over her legs and hips. He hated seeing her getting chewed out by Ken and not being appreciated for all the hard work she did. Chris knew he couldn’t change it all, but the more and more he got closer to Sammy, knowing the vulnerability and emotions underneath, he wanted to help her. He had come to see just how little support Sam had ever had in her life, someone cheering her on or helping encourage her but he was determined to be that person. He wanted to be that person because the more time that went on, the more he knew just how deeply he loved her.

Chris was well aware that his relationship with Sam hadn’t been exactly conventional so far. It had been so rocky in the beginning but over the past month, he could feel just how much had changed both in and between them. He had seen how much trust had been built between them and how they relied on one another in a deeper way. Ever since Chris had taken Sam to Boston, he’d seen an entirely different vulnerable side of her, finding out more of her deep feelings that she had been shy about sharing, they had naturally grown closer. Sam was a strong person, she always had been, and Chris admired that so much about her, but he had tried to help her see that she didn’t have to always have everything all together. He wanted her to know it was okay to feel things and express things, and in the process had learned it himself. He had come to see how much he hadn’t dealt with so many of his own emotions and stuffed them down, but when you had the right person to open up to, it somehow wasn’t quite as scary as it felt before.

He wanted to be that person for Sam, and when Susan had hurt her feelings so deeply at the awards banquet and Sam had come to him in tears, he knew he had made it to that status. He was the person Sam went to when she was hurting or in trouble and he wanted nothing more than to always be by her side supporting her. That feeling had only grown as he found out a little more into her childhood, finally having a full picture of why Sam had always fended for herself and why she stepped in as a mother figure for Riley. She never had time in her entire life just to do something because she wanted to or because she was excited about it. Everything in her life was out of necessity to take care of herself and Riley.

But Chris wanted that to change.

And he had started to see some of that slowly happen. He had seen how Riley had come to rely on Chris, calling him when he needed help changing a flat tire on their old car or asking for advice on school decisions, or even just calling Chris first on occasion instead of Sam, which allowed her to focus on her work. He was able to take some of the responsibility off of Sam’s shoulders and he had seen how much it had allowed Sam to have a tiny bit of just emotional freedom, letting her smile more easily, laugh more often, and not have the weight of so much responsibility pushing her down.

It was several hours later when Sam finally walked in through the front door of Chris’ apartment, kicking off her beat-up sneakers with a sigh. Chris yelled out a greeting to her, telling Sam that he was in the kitchen getting dinner ready for them, and gave her a smile when she wandered in. He immediately gave her the hug she silently asked for, listening as she let out another sigh before she pulled away and grabbed a glass of water before she sat down at the island bar stool and watched as he began putting beef on the stove to cook.

“Is Riley coming home soon?” She asked, Chris glancing at her from over his shoulder to see Sam looking at the clock.

“He texted me a few minutes ago and said he was on his way,” Chris informed her, a slight frown settling on his face as he took in her tense shoulders and slight scowl. “How did the rest of your shift go, baby?”

“Terrible,” she admitted with a shake of her head. “Ken just would not get off my back today. He’s so pissed I’m taking off to go to Mexico so there just was nothing I could do right in his eyes today.”

Chris sighed as his heart broke. He watched her deal with Ken’s bullshit day in and day out, but he’d never seen her so defeated as he had this last week. Every night she came home, he could tell she’d gotten chewed out for something she didn’t do, and Chris was starting to become sick of standing by and letting her get treated like shit at work, especially when he had the means to solve the problem. “Sammy, a boss shouldn’t treat you that way,” he said through another sigh, shaking his head and he moved the ground beef around the pan.

“Well he does so I just have to deal with it,” she told him and tried to shut the conversation, her mouth set in a tight thin line.

He gave a half shrug, looking at her over his shoulder again. “You really don’t though,” he murmured.

But Sam gave him a look, something in her eyes as she began, “...You know what it was like when I tried to get a different job. Nowhere will even look at me because I don’t have a college degree so I might as well stay, at least I get tips.”

“I actually was kind of thinking about that…” he paused, turning his attention back to the pan. “This fall I’m going to be back in Boston for a good chunk of time getting ready for broadcasting and commentating on the playoffs, so I was thinking you could come with me.”

“Um, did you hear how Ken reacted to me getting a week off? Yeah he’s not going to give me time off in the fall,” Sam laughed bitterly, Chris listening as he heard another one of those deflated sighs of resignation to her fate that he was so tired of hearing.

Chris tensed his shoulders as he moved them in a quick shrug, keeping his eyes off of her as he suggested, “Just quit.”

“Chris-”

“Sammy, I’m serious. I think you should quit and just take some time off, figure out what you want to do,” he interrupted her, turning off the burner and moving the beef to the side before he turned to face her with his arms crossed over his chest. “You know I’d take care of you.”

Her face was blank, almost reminiscent of the disdain she’d held for him in the early spring. “Well I still need to save to try to get at least some money to pay for Riley to be able to at least do some community college in case he can’t get a scholarship,” she replied quietly.

Chris sighed, knowing what he’d decided several weeks ago but hadn’t even said to anyone yet. “I hadn’t said anything yet, but I want to pay for Riley’s college baby,” he told her quietly.

If he thought Sam looked upset - or even frustrated - before, it was nothing compared to now. Her face fell and her eyes were almost hurt as she rejected the offer, “Absolutely not.”

“Sammy, I want to.”

“I know, but the answer is no. I’m not going to bank on you just footing the bill,” she told him loudly. Then, her shoulders fell and she almost looked a little insecure as she finished, “Besides, it’s not like we’ll even be together come next year.”

“What?”

“I just don’t want you paying for it Chris, I’m not comfortable with that.”

“No, what the fuck was that comment about not being together next year?” He asked her loudly, confusion and near-anxiety flooding him. “Do you have something you’re wanting to tell me, Samantha?”

Her shoulders fell again and she shook her head as she stared at the countertop. “C’mon Chris, be realistic. It’s not like you’re going to go back to your fancy major league baseball world and then want to come back to your trailer trash girlfriend.”

Chris froze at her words, that intense anger running through his entire body from her words as he snapped at her with a pointed finger, “I told you to never fucking say that phrase again.”

“It’s true Chris and you know it,” she told him, her voice meek.

Chris knew that Sam didn’t have a healthy view of relationships. She hadn’t grown up with a man in the house longer than a few months, making her see relationships as more transactional and temporary. She wasn’t used to this, she didn’t quite understand it and although Chris knew that, it didn’t make her comments hurt any less to know that she thought he’d just throw her out like trash once he went back to Boston. He couldn’t even comprehend how hurt he felt in this moment, knowing what was going on inside her and how even the thought of her giving up on this relationship absolutely killed him. His impulsiveness and hot temper exploded from the comments and he could feel the anger bubbling inside of him as he stared at her from across the kitchen counter.

“That’s not fuckin’ true!”

“It is and you know it,” she repeated, her voice still quiet and emotional. “Look, I’m not trying to be an ass, I’m just saying let’s just enjoy it while it lasts, okay?”

He ignored the sound of a door opening and shutting as he listened to Sam’s quiet words, but when she finished speaking, he couldn’t help himself as he loudly said, “I cannot fuckin’ believe you’re saying this, Sam! How could you possibly think that!” He paused, scoffing as he threw his hands in the air. “Why the hell are we even together then if you just think that this is some fuckin’ summer fling?”

“Because I love you, but I’m just not going to pretend that this is something that it’s not,” Sam replied, her voice raising as well.“You’re going to go back to your real life and I can’t follow you.”

“Don’t you fuckin’ think I’d come back to you every damn time I left?”

“I don’t know.”

“I can’t even believe this shit I’m hearing!”

Suddenly, Sam’s eyes widened and looked over Chris’ shoulder at the open archway to the hall, Chris following hers to find Riley standing still in the archway, his eyes moving between Chris and Sam.

Sam stood up quickly, reaching an arm out as she moved across the room, murmuring, “Riley…”

But Riley’s face set in an angry look - one Chris had never seen on the teenager - as he looked at his sister, telling her factually, “I fucking hate you Sam.”

“Hey!” Chris cut in, voice unintentionally raised. “Don’t you fuckin’ talk to your sister that way!”

“Fuck off, you can’t tell me what to do,” Riley shot back, his voice nearly venomous. “You’re going to ditch us anyway.”

Chris’ head moved quickly to look at Sam, pointing a single finger as he demanded, “Are you putting this shit in his head now? Are you trying to assure that we fuckin’ break up, Sam?”

He couldn’t even hear her answer as Riley spoke over her again, and Chris poured more fuel on the fire as he joined in the chaos. It was several long minutes of the three yelling over each other before Sam’s hands flew in the air frustratedly and she screamed, “EVERYONE JUST STOP TALKING!”

Chris ran a hand through his messy brown hair with a shake of his head. “I think we all need to sit down and take a breath,” he whispered, watching as Sam nodded and led them to the island counter. “Riley, why did you say that to Sam?” Chris asked quietly once he had calmed himself down, eyes trained on the teenage boy.

Riley was staring at the expensive countertop and shrugged his shoulders petulantly, muttering, “Because.”

“Riley, c’mon,” Chris sighed, willing the frustration and anger from Riley’s words to ebb. “Tell us why.”

Riley let out a sigh, his nostrils flaring. “Because she’s being an ass and fucking everything up,” he whispered, eyes darting over to Sam before they returned to the countertop.

He watched as Sam struggled to find the words for several moments, reaching a hand out to grasp her own and rested them on her lap. “What do you think I’m fucking up Riley?” She asked her brother, voice even and low.

Riley was quiet, nearly shrugging but thinking better of it. “...This,” he finally said, waving a hand around vaguely as he looked at Sam. “Chris loves us, Sammy and you’re just ruining it all and now everything is just going to go back to the way it was before and Chris is going to leave.”

Sam sighed, reaching her empty hand out to rub her brother’s shoulder comfortingly. “Riley, we were fighting, but everyone fights. It’s not the first time Chris and I have argued and it probably won’t be the last. It happens but that doesn’t mean everything is changing right now,” she murmured, giving him a tight, small smile.

When Riley looked back up at Chris and Sam, his eyes were filled with tears as they moved between them. He shrugged helplessly again as he recalled quietly, “You said it yourself that Chris is going to go back to his life and leave us.”

He could see the moment Sam took in his words and realized the implication of her own words from earlier. “Hey, I want you both to listen to me for a minute,” Chris murmured with a squeeze to Sam’s hand. When they both met his eyes, he gave them a genuine loving smile. “I don’t know what the future holds. I’m not saying that Sam and I are going to get married and everything will be perfect. I don’t know yet what will happen, but I do know that I love you both so much and if Sam and I are done, it’s going to be because our relationship isn’t working, not because I’m going to leave either of you and just go back to Boston.”

Sam opened her mouth to interject, saying, “I just-”

“No, listen to me baby. You think I’m going to leave this and go back to my ‘real life’ but this is it. This is my life. This is the life I want. The best thing that ever happened to me was getting hurt and having to come back here because I got you…both of you and I’d do it all over again if I knew I’d get you both because of it. I mean that.”

Chris knew by the silence and watery eyes that were looking at him that his tone left no room for question. He looked between the two Merrick’s that he loved so deeply and gave them a soft reassuring smile, but saw when Riley ducked his head again, twiddling his thumbs while muttering, “...But what if you do leave?”

“Do you trust me Riley?” Chris asked plainly, reaching across the counter to put a hand over Riley’s fidgety ones.

Riley brought his face up to look at Chris, allowing him to see the inner turmoil running through him before Riley finally answered, “Yeah.”

“Then I want you to trust me when I say I’m not leaving you, okay?” His eyebrows arched as he looked at the teen who he knew was filled with so many emotions right now, that only being confirmed when a few hot tears spilled out from his eyes.

When Riley nodded his head before furiously wiping away his tears, Chris pushed himself up from the counter, coming around to wrap his thick arms around Riley’s lanky frame and pull him in for a tight hug that he refused to let go of for a long moment. Chris almost felt as if he could feel his heart breaking, knowing that Riley and Sam had never had anyone to lean on but each other. It wasn’t any surprise either of them had attachment issues knowing the way they grew up, but Chris just kept holding Riley tight, wanting the reality of his words to sink into the teenager.

As the emotions started to calm down and Chris could feel Riley’s heart rate return to normal, he let go of him, rubbing his back before Riley’s head turned to his weepy eyed sister. Chris watched as Riley opened his mouth to speak before closing it again, repeating this a few times as he figured out what to say before finally just coming out with, “I’m sorry for what I said Sam, I love you.”

“I know you do. I love you too Riley,” Sam reached out to pull him in for a hug, squeezing him tight for a long moment before pulling back so she could look into his face while rubbing her hands on his arms, telling him, “I know you’ve had a lot of hard stuff lately so maybe you should just call it a day and go relax, huh?”

“Okay,” he nodded with a soft smile, telling them both goodnight before heading into the guest room.

Silence fell over the kitchen as Sam stayed sitting at the counter, Chris leaning his hip against the marble countertop as they heard the sound of the shower turning on in the guest bathroom. Knowing so much had not only just happened, but laid between them, Chris let out a long sigh as he ran a hand through his hair before coming to sit at the stool next to Sam. He angled his body to be toward her, reaching a hand out as he tucked a stray curl behind her ear tenderly which allowed him to see the unshed tears still glossing her eyes.

“Sammy…” Chris started, reaching out to hold her slender hand in his, a non-verbal way of telling her that they were on the same team before he brought up the fact, “I think we need to talk about what happened earlier.”

“Yeah, I know,” she sighed, looking anywhere but him.

“I’m sorry I got angry so quickly,” he apologized for the way his temper could shoot out of control, knowing it didn’t help the situation any.

A small smile appeared on Sam’s pink lips before she glanced over at him, shrugging, “Well, you are an ass sometimes,” which only made Chris bark out loud laughter at her statement, happy for the break in the intense emotions.

“And you’re still damn stubborn,” he reminded her with a twinkle in his eye before letting his tone turn more serious, “But I just don’t understand where you’re coming from thinking that once I go to Boston, that’ll be the end of our relationship.”

A long silence fell over them while he watched Sammy staring down at their joined hands, quietly admitting, “I just don’t see how you’re going to go back to that life and still want me.”

“Samantha Merrick, I love you more than I knew I could love someone,” he used his free hand to gently turn her chin so he could look her in those gorgeous brown eyes as he finished, “And if going to Boston doing broadcasting means I’m going to lose you, then I'll quit in a heartbeat.”

“I guess… I just don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling,” she deflated, her eyes falling once again.

“Try for me, baby,” Chris’ gentle tone encouraged her as he tucked more of her stray curls behind her ear.

“I… believe you now. I believe what you say when you tell me that you love me, but I just don’t see how that’s going to stay the same,” he could see the internal struggle written all over her face before she explained, “After my parents divorced when I was a kid my dad promised that even though he wasn’t going to live with us, he and I would still be close.”

“Did that not happen?”

“It did for a few months I think, I was only four so I don’t remember exactly, but I do remember that once he met someone, he went off with her and I never saw him again,” Sam shrugged sadly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Sammy… baby, I had no idea,” he felt that heavy weight of sadness in his heart while looking at her.

“He just left us. Then after that my mom always had a boyfriend. It was always someone she said would be around and they always ended up leaving. I don’t think most of them were even around longer than six months,” Sam now sounded more resigned than anything, a hand waving in the air as she finished, “I mean, I don’t even know who Riley’s dad is.”

“Does Susan know?”

“I have no clue,” he watched her shoulders shrug, “I guess I’ve just always seen people leave, but I’ve never seen them stay. Then add on the fact that you’re this successful wonderful guy and I just don’t see how it’s going to work.”

“Baby,” Chris whispered, staring at her as Sam’s gaze stayed fixed on the counter, “Look at me for a minute.”

He watched as her head turned, allowing him to study her face, seeing the worried lines in her face and turmoil in her eyes. But when her brown eyes landed on his blue ones, something in her face changed… a wave of calm seemed to relax her features and when he gave her a small smile, he saw that twinkle return to her eyes.

“Sammy, I’m not asking you to commit to anything or marry me or anything like that, but I want you to know that you’re it for me. I already know that. I love you and there’s nobody for me but you.”

“I just don’t-”

“No Sammy. I mean it. You’re it for me. You always have been,” his voice was firm, no room for questions as he went on, “Everything in this relationship I’m looking at through that lens of already knowing I want you forever.”

“...That’s how I feel about you,” Sammy’s voice was soft and vulnerable but not unsure, her brown eyes full of honesty as she told him, “You’re it for me too, Chris.”

Although neither were always the best with words or expressing all of their feelings, at this moment, neither needed any more words. When Chris wrapped his arms around her frame, pulling her in tightly against his chest, the way they clung to one another spoke more than any words could, knowing in this moment that they were in this together and knew they always would be.

A/N: We hope we didn't give anyone any bad ideas with that sneak peek yesterday! But we had to ;) cannot wait to hear your thoughts! As a reminder, we will be taking a break from June 26th - July 10th, so we will see you in a few weeks with another Sam update!

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