#The whole situation is just stinky | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inamindfarfaraway · 1 year

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TGWDLM AU where on the way to Professor Hidgens’s house, the group see Infected Pete and Ted has a complete breakdown. These monsters got his little brother and he wasn’t even there, he didn’t protect him, didn’t look for him, didn’t even think about him - he was too busy thinking of himself, like always. Now Pete’s gone forever, because clearly whatever happened to Sam isn’t something you can come back from. He swore, he swore after Jenny that he would never feel that bad again. But this is worse. At least she didn’t die! *Audience members cringe* His brother, though, is dead. At sixteen years old. It couldn’t be Ted, the useless bastard with nothing good ahead of him. No, Ted wanted to survive. And Pete - earnest, brilliant, loving Pete, perhaps the last person on the planet to give a damn about him - paid the price for it.

This forces Emma, who has been spending the whole last year dealing with the pain of losing her sibling and not getting to say goodbye because she was off being selfish and neglecting her relationships, to realize: ‘Oh. Fuck. The sleazy asshole has feelings… that I can empathize with. Ew.’ So she tells him about Jane. Although she still hates everything else about him, a) nobody deserves to suffer through that alone, which she knows from doing it alone, and b) maybe if he starts to see her as a person with feelings too, he’ll be slightly less insufferable. And it works. The solidarity lays the foundation for a slow-burn friendship. Will they always annoy each other? Oh yes. But it’s hard to understand someone on such a raw, fundamental level and not reach out to them when you yourself also need support.

Due to his external and internal walls being shattered, Ted has to become more comfortable with vulnerability; he has to be more appreciative of and sensitive to other people. He really, really values the few relationships he has left. He and Charlotte connect more deeply while she’s concurrently processing her complex feelings about Sam and his death, and he might not leave her alone with Sam, imagining how he’d feel to be alone with Pete’s body and the alien inside it. He grows to be an actual friend to Paul and… well, Bill might not have enough time for that, but nevertheless. Maybe in this timeline, a handful of Hatchetfielders get to the PEIP helicopter together. Maybe the Hive doesn’t escape the island. Maybe PEIP figures out how destroy it.

Pete was the good one. Pete was the one with hope. But if Ted’s the one who survives, then he’ll just have to live for both of them.

Or he could let the Infected get him right away and the brothers could sing an epic duet.

@dontsteponthatfish @awigglycultist @blueskiesandstarrynights

#i think they could have reached the helicopter before the hive #if not for the delay of ted’s betrayal and paul and emma then having to escape the infected including the army #also i don’t believe that he knew pete died in canon #or we would have known about it #you think this egotistical mess of self-pity and dysfunction wouldn’t have made it very clear that he was suffering intensely?#yes he recoils from emotional honesty but he can do it when really hurting as seen in ‘time bastard’ when he talks about jenny unprompted #and when he does he Wallows #his drunken breakdown was just about charlotte #losing her hit him Hard #but if he knew that he lost pete and then lost her?#he would have been on a whole other level of grief and despair #pete is about a year younger than alice #i bet ted would have brought him up when arguing that trying to rescue alice was pointless #because of the parallel and to make the situation about him #i love him but i do think he would do that #bastard man. stinky bastard man #not a healthy coping mechanism in SIGHT #but this au idea revolves around my hope that if he knew that he’d lost pete he would be much more invested in his other relationships #and his only remaining significant relationship at that point is charlotte #so he wouldn’t leave her in danger and she wouldn’t die #therefore changing his trajectory from ‘PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN’ to ‘awkward begrudging healing’#ted spankoffski #pete spankoffski #spankoffski brothers #spankoffski bros #emma perkins #jane perkins #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #time bastard spoilers

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dulcetssims · 2 years

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lol ea shouldnt have clarified tbh because now people are gonna be like hmm me thinks a year is reasonable!!

#this whole situation has really just pointed out who is here for the money #and like the people who stopped early access and are not going to start it again even tho ea says it’s fine like #those are the people i wanna donate to #not the dickheads that are like HAHA see i was right!! i can keep making money off of sims 4!! fuck you fascists!!#like… you are stinky 🤢#ramblings

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cosmerelists · 6 months

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Pros and Cons of Stormlight Characters in the Middle Seat Next to You on a Budget Airline.

As requested by anon. :)

1. Kaladin

Cons: His legs are so long. His hair is so luxurious. His shoulders are so broad. This large, beautiful man is not trying to be in your space, but the budget airline seat cannot contain him. Pros: You started what you thought was an idle conversation, but by the end of your flight, he had diagnosed your chronic pain and become your therapist??

2. Shallan

Pros: Well, she's more of a regular-sized human and she's friendly but quiet. She seems to just want to sketch the whole flight, so no complaints! Cons: Why does she keep staring directly at a space across the plane and sketching the creepiest symbol-headed creatures you've ever seen with her eyes vaguely glazed over like she doesn't even know she's doing it holy shit is this a Twilight Zone situation where there are invisible gremlin monsters on this plane that only she can see and is it your imagination or do you hear humming from somewhere

3. Adolin

Cons: Listen, this is a budget airline, and this guy seems to think it's a fancy spa?? He's got the slippers, the posh eye mask, the luxurious travel pillow, some really nice face creams, and he seems to be video chatting with a girl even though the internet on the plane doesn't even work. Frankly, you're jealous and grouchy about it. Pros: Okay, he actually seems really sweet and he gave you some of his way-too-nice-for-an-airplane snacks. You take it all back; this guy is awesome.

4. Szeth

Pros: He is so still. So quiet. Almost folded in on himself. Barely...breathing? Honestly, you keep forgetting the middle seat is occupied, and how rare is that! Cons: You just...you think you'd feel better if he just blinked. Just once. Please.

5. Lift

Cons: You had to sigh just a little when a little kid plopped down next to you. Also, she goes to the bathroom every five minutes, and comes back with food every time. You think she might be robbing people. Pros: She complimented your butt quite sincerely. You've always been kinda self-conscious about your butt! But apparently yours is the "second best she's ever seen." Feels nice.

6. Jasnah

Pros: Like, is it possible for someone to just be really good at flying? She came in, expertly stowed her luggage, sat down elegantly, did her seatbelt, used a wipe to clean up the tray table and surrounding area, and immediately starting reading some thick tome. Do you have a crush on her? You might have a crush on her. Cons: She glanced at the book you're reading, and you know she judged you for it.

7. Wit

Cons: Does this guy EVER stop talking? Pros: Okay, actually, you found him kind of annoying at first, but that story he told you about the temple and the duck might have healed years of trauma? Did you just realize that you don't have to forgive your mom and that's okay?

8. Renarin

Pros: He sat down and you were like, "Okay. Cute nerd. I dig it." Cons: You just wish he wouldn't scrawl foreboding-seeming numerals on the back of the airline chair in front of him. Is it counting down to...just before the plane lands? What does it mean???

9. Amarem

Cons: He came in and was IMMEDIATELY like, "I am taller than you and so I should have your seat." And then he just...waited? Like he thought you'd just comply??? Pros: He seems intent on pretending that never happened. Fine by you. That guy seems like an asshole.

10. Zahel

Pros: He falls asleep, like, immediately and doesn't stir for the entire flight. Cons: He's just kinda stinky.

11. Dalinar

Cons: He sits down and, unprompted, says something like, "In my youth I would always battle to occupy every armrest but now, after reading The Way of Planes, I have realized that it is the journey, not the armrests, that matter, so you can have them" and then you're like, "Dude, the person in the middle seat gets the armrests that's just common courtesy" and then he looks at you and you look at him and it's vaguely awkward the whole flight and nobody uses the armrests. Pros: Actually, after a while you do take the armrest and the tension goes down a lot.

12. Taravangian

Pros: He just kinda seems like a nice old man, you know? Kinda confused about stuff, but harmless enough. Cons: He falls asleep partway through and droops his head onto your shoulder and drools a bit and you know you sound ridiculous but it feels somehow calculated. Intentional. Evil.

13. Sebarial

Cons: The very second beverage service starts he's all, "Bring me a BOTTLE of wine" and you're like, "Oh no. It's one of those dudes who gets way too drunk on planes!" Pros: You know? This guy actually seems pretty jolly and chill. You catch yourself thinking, "I wish I could pretend he was my uncle." You're not sure where that came from.

14. Rock

Pros: He scoffs at the provided airline snacks and gets out this thermos and gives you the best damn soup you've ever had in your life. Cons: He's just a large, warm man. Very large. Very warm. Not his fault, of course, but now YOU are very warm.

15. Elhokar

Cons: Every time there is plane turbulence, he mutters something about how it's the assassins coming to finish the job. Poor dude must be really scared of flying. Pros: You feel a warm, parental feeling growing in you as you look at this sad, scared man. Maybe your mom was right. Maybe you WOULD be good with kids.

16. Eshonai

Pros: This lady is, just, SO excited to be traveling that it can't help but make YOU excited to travel. Like, you always thought plane travel sucked, especially budget airline travel, be she is so delighted by everything that you find yourself thinking, "You know, it IS pretty amazing that we're soaring through the sky right now traveling to a new land." Cons: Cons? No cons. You wish you could ALWAYS see flying through this woman's eyes.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Kaladin #stormlight archives #Shallan #Adolin #Szeth #Dalinar #Taravangian #Amaram #Sebarial #Eshonai #Rock #Renarin #Wit #Hoid #Jasnah #Zahel #Lift

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nymph-ette111 · 17 days

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Hi, could i ask for some headcanons for Toby, Ej and Ben with a S/O who gets easily lost, like even getting lost in the most absurd places

(♡) Authors note; my first request LET'S GOOO 💪 I'm still not used to writing headcanons but I really want to, and I realized that I started quite blindly :') I should've made some character analysis or aus beforehand but oh well. I'll do it another time but for now, here you go <3 also not proofread so ignore any mistakes

TOBY;

- this man is the embodiment of attachment issues. It took a pretty long time for him to crack open his protective shell, and once he did he swore to never leave your side.

- I imagine this happening whenever you two are outside, which rarely happens. I mean...he finally found a lover, he won't risk them running away because let's be honest, he probably kidnapped you but that's another story.- you two were just taking a stroll in some area and then all of a sudden you're gone. Completely out of sight.

- low-key panics once he realizes that you're not beside him anymore.- will literally search the whole entire place for you, calling out your name multiple times. He doesn't care if some passerby hears him. He will find you.

- once he catches a mere glimpse of you, he's immediately running over. It's clear that he's upset, he really thought you took the chance to run away since he finally warmed up to the idea of going outside and not keeping you locked up in his stinky ass cabin (please get this man a proper home he really needs it)

- good luck convincing him that you just wandered off because he would not believe you. After a while he might let it go but best believe the little walk you two planned is cut short. He's taking you back to his place as soon as possible.

- it might take him some time to let you go outside again since he's still a little suspicious. And now he's even more clingy but hey, we're not complaining. Who wouldn't want Toby by their side 24/7?

EYELESS JACK;

-quite similar to Toby, this cannibalistic demon finally found someone who actually loves him (which he still doesn't get what you see in him) let's just say...he wouldn't be very happy about the situation.

-would also think you were running away from him. After the whole failed cult sacrifice thing and him losing his vision, his other senses are now heightened. He'd use that to his advantage to find you.

-which isn't too hard for him, you didn't wander far since he probably heard you as soon as you walked away.

-he isn't angry, just worried. He starts to look after you more often, always keeping an eye out Incase you get lost again (...he doesn't have eyes:3)

-it becomes a little thing where whenever you start to walk off, he's dragging you back by the collar of your shirt so you don't get lost again.

BEN;

-this isn't much of a problem for him, sure he'd be quite confused at first because where the fuck are you going?

-this little fucker probably finds it amusing, not even doing anything about it just to see you get lost.

-eventually guides you back to wherever you two were originally. Like I said, it isn't a problem for him and he won't panic like the others since he is literally a ghost...he could just teleport to you whenever.

-most of the time he drags it out to see you get scared once you realize you wandered off again and can't seem to find your way back but he'll still help you. Just after a long time because he's an asshole like that.

#♡⁠˖⁠꒰nymphette writes #divider by pommecita #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta fandom #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby x reader #tobias erin rogers #ticci toby creepypasta #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack #eyeless jack creepypasta #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned #ben drowned creepypasta #headcanon

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thisapplepielife · 18 days

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Written for a @astrangersummer.

Who Wears Short Shorts?

Letting himself inside, Eddie looks around, and the house seems empty, even if Steve's car is in the driveway. He pauses, and he's pretty sure he hears the faint sound of music coming from upstairs.

"Hey! Steve?!" Eddie screams, and waits. Nothing.

So, he climbs the staircase, and that's when he hears that the music is coming from the bathroom. He can also hear Steve and Robin talking, arguing, laughing.

When he gets to the doorway, he's very confused.

Very, very confused.

"What exactly is going on here?" Eddie asks, looking back and forth between Steve and Robin, both standing in the bathroom, wearing short shorts, white lotion slathered all over their legs, "And what's that smell?"

Eddie pulls his shirt up over his nose. It smells like some of the chemicals that Wayne sometimes comes home smelling like after a shift at the plant.

It's caustic. Burning his eyes and nose.

Robin wiggles her leg in his direction, "Nair."

"Hold still!" Steve chides her, trying to get her to stop moving without messing up the application.

"Nair," Eddie repeats.

"Nair," Steve confirms.

"And…"

"Who wears short shorts? We wear short shorts! If you dare wear short shorts, Nair for short shorts!" Robin and Steve both sing-song together, loudly, over the already loud music, waving their arms, legs kicking up together into a kickline, the idea of not moving around, obviously long forgotten.

And, oh. Steve's limber.

Flexible, and Eddie has thoughts he's not supposed to be having right now.

He feels insane as he reaches over and turns the music down, maybe a first, in his whole lifetime. He's not supposed to be the normal one in any situation. This is wrong. So wrong.

Like, he gets it. He watches TV. He knows what Nair is. Sort of. In theory. He definitely knows the commercial jingle. But he doesn't understand why this is happening right now. He thought they were going swimming. Not, whatever this is.

"You're using Nair? Why?" Eddie asks, because it smells like something that shouldn't be used by humans without proper ventilation. Maybe gas masks.

"Robin was curious, so I'm showing her how to do it," Steve says, like that's a normal thing for him to say.

"Okay, sure. Of course. New question, why do you know how to do it?" Eddie asks, as he mourns the loss of Steve's leg hair, that Steve is currently in the process of burning off with that eye-wateringly stinky cream.

"Swim team," Steve says, like that's an explanation. It's not. It's really, really not.

"Swim team," Eddie repeats.

"Yeah, for like, all that aerodynamic shit," Steve says, and Eddie can't help it. He smiles.

The kitchen timer dings, loud and shrill, in the small room.

"Is that so?" Eddie asks, leaning against the door jam, watching as Steve wipes the cream off of Robin's legs with a washcloth. Then forces her legs into the tub, one at a time, as he rinses them off. And Eddie can't tell if it worked or not, it's not like Robin's legs were all that hairy to begin with, at least not as far as he's ever noticed.

But, Steve. Steve's legs are hairy, just like the rest of him, and Eddie's curious. Morbidly, so.

Robin is running her hand over her legs, and Eddie watches as Steve just stands there, grinning at her.

"See?!" Steve says, excited.

Then she coughs.

"I'm gonna go get some fresh air," Robin declares, and Eddie wishes she'd bring a little in for the rest of them, honestly. This bathroom needs a window, desperately.

After she goes, Eddie looks back at Steve, "What about yours?"

"Takes a little longer, my hair is way more thick and coarse than hers," Steve says.

And, yeah it is.

Eddie doesn't want to admit, even to himself, what he thinks about all that body hair Steve has. But he definitely has thoughts about it. Lots and lots of thoughts.

"I'll do you next," Steve teases.

"The hell you will. I like my leg hair right where it is, Harrington."

"Suit yourself then," Steve says dryly, and he finally starts wiping down his own legs.

And yeah, he's losing hair up to his knee. Well, some of the hair. A little of it. Honestly, it seems very hit and miss as he wipes it away. Most of his leg hair just looks a little melted, singed, curled.

Damaged, not removed.

"Is it not working?" Eddie asks, curious what the plan is here.

"Well, it's not perfect," Steve laughs, and it looks pretty bad, but Steve doesn't seem to care, as he adds onto his thought with a breezy, "Oh well."

"Are you just gonna leave it like that?" Eddie asks. Because, honestly. No.

Steve just shrugs, "I guess I could shave them."

And Eddie is pretty sure his brain short circuits, because the next thing that comes out of his mouth is totally against his will, "Can I shave them for you?"

Steve stops, looks at him, then laughs, shrugging his shoulders, "Sure. Okay."

Eddie isn't sure why he asked that, and he feels like his cheeks are on fire. Steve reaches into the medicine cabinet, producing a razor and a can of shaving cream, handing them both to Eddie. Then he plugs the tub, runs some water, and wets his legs with a washcloth, before sitting down on the closed toilet seat.

Oh shit.

Shit, shit, shit.

"You want me to…?" Eddie asks, trailing off, waving his hand holding the shaving cream towards Steve's legs.

"You're the one that asked," Steve says, teasing him.

Eddie swallows, kneeling in front of Steve, squeezing some of the shaving foam onto his palm, and then runs it up Steve's leg, applying it, stopping when he gets to the knee.

Steve pulls up on his shorts, his already very short shorts, making them even more indecent, "Might as well go on up."

Eddie's dick twitches at the idea, but he nods, getting some more shaving cream and rubbing it up onto Steve's thighs.

Then he holds the razor in a slightly shaky hand, "You sure you want me to do this?"

Steve shrugs, "It'll grow back."

Eddie nods. That's not exactly what he was asking, but he grips Steve's foot in his hand, and starts running the razor upwards, gently. Trying to be careful. One stripe in, he leans over and rinses the blade off in the tub, looking back up at Steve's face.

And then keeps shaving, getting everything off his lower legs, before pausing, then just forges ahead. In for a penny, in for a pound.

He puts Steve's heel on his shoulder, giving him access to the underside of his thigh, and he's fully hard in his own shorts now, and he really hopes Steve won't notice. He's sure this isn't supposed to be that. He's not supposed to be getting off on this.

But he is. He really, really is.

He's such a goddamn pervert.

Then he sees it. The hard line of Steve's cock, pressing against his shorts. His tight shorts.

Eddie drops the razor. It clatters to the tile, and he laughs nervously as he reaches to pick it up.

What is he doing? What are they doing right now? It's madness. It's the fumes. They've gone to their heads. They've lost critical brain function, the both of them. That must be it. It's the only explanation.

Robin turns back up in the doorway, and they both turn and look at her. It must look crazy, Eddie between Steve's thighs, his leg hoisted up, covered in shaving cream.

"Oh, ew. No," she says, and disappears just as fast as she'd arrived, slamming the door behind her as she goes.

Steve chuckles, and Eddie gets back to work. Shaving, rinsing. Over and over, until Steve's legs are both bare.

It's weird, but Eddie can't help himself, and he runs his hand up Steve's calf, slow. Exploring.

And Steve moans.

Oh, goddamn.

Eddie suddenly raises up on his knees, sending Steve backwards, off-balance, falling against the toilet tank.

"Am I reading this wrong?" Eddie asks, chest heaving. Both of his hands clutching Steve's wet, smooth thighs.

Steve shakes his head, pupils blown wide, and Eddie runs his hand up, cupping Steve through his short shorts. Leaning forward, pressing against Steve, contorting Steve's body, as Eddie leans close enough to kiss him.

And he does, lips barely brushing, lightly, and it isn't lost on Eddie that he put his hand on Steve's dick before they even kissed.

Steve leans forward, surging into him, kissing back. Hand coming up to press against the back of Eddie's head, pulling him closer.

And Eddie's sure he'll die right here, for real this time.

If not from the lingering toxic fumes, definitely from Steve.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @astrangersummer and follow along with the fun! 🌞

Notes: There are lots of different versions of the Nair "short shorts" commercials, but here's one from the 70s, if you're unfamiliar.

#a stranger summer #week one #prompt: short shorts #stranger things #steddie #steddie fic #platonic stobin #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #thisapplepielife: short fic #thisapplepielife: a stranger summer

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deanpinterester · 4 months

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having sally yell at baby percy feels so fundamentally wrong. i didn't mind when she got frustrated with him in the pool because that was just one instance of sally losing her temper but now it's like oh. this is just how the show version of her is.

like. idk. one of sally's defining traits was that she never got mad at percy. that didn't mean she was weak. that was her strength. that she could pull through tough times by putting a smile on her face, so that she didn't scare percy, so that she could protect him.

i just feel like it would have been a much more well-defined scene if we got to see how sally manages to talk percy out of the car by. being nice?? coaxing him??? explaining the situation in a way he would understand instead of just saying "there are things i have to do that you don't understand" (if you say that to a kid they are 100% not going to listen to you bc. yeah they don't understand!! so you have to explain it in a way they WOULD understand!!)

if sally had already been dating smelly gabe at this point, she could have leveraged this. she could have put a funny spin on it and said "i'm just trying to get you away from smelly gabe's stinky gym shorts." if she wanted baby percy to not feel like she was abandoning him and separating him from the rest of society, she could have said "the kids in there are just like you." she could have given him a keepsake, to show she will always be with him. there are SO many ways the writers could have spun this and they just didn't. they went the easy way out.

all of these flashback scenes are painting a very unfortunate picture that percy didn't actually have a good relationship with his mom. and i know that's not the vibe the show is trying to go for, but they've got to understand!! that not everyone who's watched the show has the read the books! we don't all automatically know that sally and percy have the bestest mother-son relationship ever! if you only show sally being frustrated at baby percy, we start to think oh dang, maybe this whole time percy doesn't actually have a good relationship with his mom!

#uhhhh me #i think the tag is:#pjo show crit #also i don't think 'it's a character flaw' is a good defense #because sally DOES have a flaw. her flaw is that she bottles up all her problems!! she acts like she's fine but she isn't!#at the end of book 1 this is something she has to overcome when percy gives her medusa's head and tells her it's time to save herself!!#i don't see a need for this to change #i generally don't mind if an adaptation changes things but the change has to make sense and. like. be good??#and so far all the changes in the show have either been baffling or poorly executed #like idk maybe you shouldn't have marketed the show as the most accurate book adaptation we've been waiting for-#-if you're gonna make the most perplexing and unnecessary changes ever

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factual-fantasy · 11 months

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FNAF Recap/Repair project Update: (Moon Malfunction is stinky now) :’}

Okay, so I have a pretty bummer update about my fnaf recap project. So in my Recap/Repair Project explanation post, I commented this, 👇

This post was basically going to say “The next part in the timeline is this comic that I already made months ago called “Moon Malfunction”. I went through the comic and only 1 bubble of dialogue needs to be corrected. Other than this one text bubble, the entire comic fits into the canon. Here’s a link to Moon Malfunction so you can go read it! :DDD”

I worked so hard on this comic, and it took me weeks to complete. I thought it was beautiful and I was so proud of it when I made it. So I was very glad I was able to reuse this comic for my timeline, and not let any of that hard work go to waste..

..But I cant reuse it.

I wanted to salvage this comic so much, that I brushed past most of the inconsistency's and said “good enough”. But the truth is, its not good enough. Not to me.

This comic is majorly outdated. As much as I love it, DJ and Moon aren’t acting quite right. DJ would respond to this situation differently now that I have re-written his character. And now that the nature of the virus has been thought out properly, Moon would be acting different too.

Also the comic as a whole is just, not how I would make a comic nowadays. My artwork has improved since then, and my ability to make coherent comics even more so. I can see where I would have drawn scenes differently. Where I would and would not have done close ups. AND this comic was shortened quite a bit. Because of how much drawing I had to do, I trimmed it down, so the pacing is kind’a rushed. Nowadays I’m not afraid to take some time and let the comic drag on to get the story across better.

Basically. Because I completely re-wrote this AU. This comic just doesn’t fit quite right anymore. Which sucks that I have to scrap it.. but its worth it. I love FNAF. And I really care about the quality of my storytelling in my AU. I want to make it good. I want my love for FNAF to be seen in how much effort I put into making my AU as great as I can possibly make it.

Which means I’m going to take the time to sit down and re-make this comic. The next part of the recap project will not be a short post. Its going to be a giant comic called “Moon Malfunction 2.0″ (probably). And once its done, THEN I can get to game night and the rest of the au.

Also during this time. A lot of other time sensitive projects I have are becoming.. well. A problem. I’m running out of time to get them done-

So while I’m writing Moon Malfunction 2.0, I’m going to be working on some time sensitive IRL projects, amongst other beloved projects that I refuse to abandon,

BUT! Not to worry! I plan to not leave ya’ll without any content. I’m gonna do my best to drop a sketch or meme here and there, whether it be FNAF, TF2, OCs or otherwise. So just sit tight, for now, I’m gonna try to get through these projects 1 by 1 and get Moon Malfunction 2.0 out as fast as I can. See ya’ll soon!

Hopefully-

#fnaf security breach #:'}#my bby #I worked so hard on that comic this is such a bummer #but I value a strong story over strong visuals

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dreamgirlsclipscom · 1 month

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Camila’s Sweaty Feet Challenge - (Full HD 1080p Version)

Camila has definitely been one of my favorite Dreamgirls for a while, because her feet sweat so much, and it drives me completely crazy! Plus, the only time she can come see me is directly after work, and she loves having her feet pampered after spending the whole day working in her warm boots. She seems to know perfectly well that the smell of her feet excites me to the highest degree, but it seems that having her feet pampered excites her just as much as me! It’s truly a win-win situation! This time, she chose to wear black socks before coming to see me, and she wore them for a minimum of two weeks at work! She had worked eleven hours straight in her boots that day too, so I was really excited at the idea of being able to make her a slave again, and serve as an object for her to rest her tired feet after her long day of work! It’s always an honor to make her footstool while she has a good time relaxing in front of Netflix! I have to say that I really enjoy every moment with her! She is so sweet, and so kind!

Camila was now ready to start her Netflix session, and she was lying nicely in front of me with her pretty feet ready to use me as a footrest. She really wanted to enjoy it that day, so she chose a movie lasting over two hours on Netflix, and asked me if it was a problem for me to stay in that position for a little more than two hours, without intervals. I really love to please her so much that it was impossible for me to say no to her. So she asked me to gently take off her boots, and immediately covered my face with her black socks completely soaked with her sweat, with her usual smile that makes her so irresistible! The smell of her socks was really disgusting and really intense, but she again seemed to have great pleasure in seeing me trapped, with my nose buried deep in her smelly socks! The smell of her socks caused an instant erection in my pants and I have to say that I was a little embarrassed, because it was a little difficult to hide in this position! Camila seems to find it rather funny, and continues to take advantage of this situation! She made me take deep breaths in her very wet and smelly socks, and also asked me to clean them with my tongue! The taste was so disgusting, but it excited me to no end!

Camila now seemed to want to give her pretty stinky little feet some fresh air, so she asked me to take off her socks, in order to cover my face again with her pretty stinky feet. The smell of her feet was as intense as her socks, but it didn't seem to bother her at all. On the contrary, she seemed very satisfied to see my face well swallowed up under her two very stinky feet! She seemed so comfortable in this position that I didn't even dare to move! I was once again very excited, and my erection was becoming more and more intense. I was a little afraid at one point that I would ejaculate in my pants, so I had to really do everything possible at that moment to control myself. Camila made me take some really deep breaths in her stinky feet, and also asked me to lick her feet! She made me lick her pretty stinky feet, from heel to tip of toes, and also asked me to suck her toes! It was another wonderful evening with cute little Camila! What a pretty little Princess! The full version of this stinky feet session is fifty minutes long, and you know exactly where to find it! I hope you will appreciate this gem of a little clip as much as I do! (French Language)

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bleedingichorhearts · 3 months

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𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝕸𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: What happened to our guardians? I forgot it was Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine’s Day!

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams

TW // Curse.

“Another one?” I deadpanned at my roommate. Her hands holding a little Death Guard that looked around confused.

“I don’t know where I keep finding them!” She said, not really sounding… thrilled. Her hazel eyes looking down at the little smelly thing in disgust. Nose scrunching up.

Well at least she has some humanity? To pick one up, and take it to a safer place.

“Anyways, i’ve got a club date to go to. Mind taking it?” She suddenly said, pushing the little Death Guard towards me as I hurriedly unfolded my arms from my chest to grab the little thing. His little form practically rolling onto my hand.

“Wha- since when? I thought you had work tonight?” I questioned her, helping the little Death Guard in my hands to stand up right. A little sound coming from him.

“Uhhhh, an hour ago! I did, but my boss let me off again!” She shouted from the hallway. Sounding like she was putting on some heels.

“Are you gonna—” The front door slammed shut. Shaking the whole apartment. “Never mind, I’ll just do it myself.” I mumbled. Looking down to observe over the little Death Guard.

The little guy looked fairly normal for a Death Guard. He had the basic dirt green, and concrete color of his armor. Two sets of bull-like horns on his helmet, an pair facing downward, and random curved spikes on his pauldrons. No extra mouth, horns, or spikes so far. No wounds either.

“You seem rather healthy.” I mostly talked to myself, getting another little sound from the stinky guy.

This ‘mini’ situation had me puzzled? I never would have thought I would see Astartes be so small. Usually, they were these huge, bulked masses of armor walking around wherever they pleased. Protecting you, rather than the other way around.

It even had the Apothecary astonished, when I have took the other three there. Saying they have never seen such phenomenon, before they immediately started running all sorts of tests on the little guys that admittedly had me a little worried for them.

Those tests lasted for about three days? I had the right to worry about it. What if they accidentally killed them with those big *ss needles in the back? What if they really weren’t an Apothecary?

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to be called back into the Apothecary to come and collect them. Becoming assigned to them as their “caretaker.” Their reasons being: One, they don’t know who their warband is, or if they even have a warband. And two, I was the first person they ever saw, and care for the miniature Astartes.

Now I was stuck with a World Eater, Thousands Son, Night Lord, and now? A Death Guard that Sharon somehow found out of nowhere.

Multiple tiny squeaks called out to me from the kitchen countertop. The rest of the group standing there looking up at the little Death Guard in my hands.

“Well, little Death Guard. You’re going to be stuck with me for the time being.” I informed him. Bringing my hand forward slowly to the rest of the group so he could greet the group.

Watching as the Death Guard gave me a warble before hopping off my hand. The rest of the tiny group surrounded the stinky guy, observing him. Distinguishing him.

They didn’t seem to be disapproving of the little Death Guard so far by they way the chirped at one another. There was no weapons drawn, and crouched positions. It was just like a regular greeting.

A far better meeting than between the Night Lord, and the World Eater. That I think, it stared off by the Night Lord teasing the World Eater, based on the Thousand sons gestures, and tiny chatter.

It didn’t help the little battle when the World Eater still had his “Butchers Nails” the Apothecary mentioned of him having. They couldn’t remove them because he was far too small for such a procedure to happen. So from time to time, the poor World Eater goes into a fit of rage. Tearing up anything in his way. Sometimes going after the other Astartes.

That’s where I step in most of the time. Slowly snatching him up from whatever surface I find him on. His tiny squirming form struggling in my hold, desperately stabbing, hitting my gloves that I was smart enough to put on.

When his raged energy had cooled down, I felt bad for holding the little guy in such a confiscating way and apologized to him. Putting him up to my collarbone as a resemblance of a hug.

Surprisingly, that spot was one of the groups favorite spot to just sit there, and hang on to. Probably liking the warmth, and “height” advantage it gives them.

“Need something?” I asked the group, seeing the gauntlet of the Thousand sons pointing up at me. Small chittering coming out of the group.

It took me a moment to understand what they wanted, but I eventually got it after a few more gestures.

“You? Want a bath?” I asked the Death Guard, raising a brow at him. Knowing Death Gaurds don’t like baths. I had to read a whole book about their quirks the Apothecary sent me with.

The Death Guard paused, then nodded. Hesitant on a such request.

“If that’s what you want.” I told him. Moving away from the counter to grab a small container. The group casually chatting away as I got the “bath” prepared.

Putting warm water with some soap. It mixed with one another, creating a bubbly container rather than just a basic container.

This was probably one of the first “baths” the Death Guard would have after a long while. Might as well make it count.

Placing the container of warm water, and bubbles next to the group. They all turned to look at it, and surround it. The Death Guard touching the container before quickly pulling away.

“You don’t have to take a bath. Instead, I’ll just throw him in it.” I mentioned to the Death Guard, pointing at the Night Lord who hissed in response, backing away slightly from the container of the soapy water.

The little Death Guard just peeped, and suddenly jumped into the container. A little plop rising from the container where he submerged himself in.

Carefully watching the container, the Death Guard emerged from the water. Bubbles sticking to him armor as another peep came from him. Chirps came from the rest of the group talking to him. Maybe encouraging him? Teaching him?

Well, either way, it was all going well. No one needed to go to the Apothecary tonight, or the morning.

Until the Night Lord pushed the World Eater into the container. Another plop rising from the water as the Night Lord armor rose up, and down in a laughing matter.

Once the World Eater rose from the water with even more bubbles on his armor than the Death guard. He was shouting threats to the Night Lord who stood above him looking very prideful of himself.

Who can resist such an opportunity?

On the act of vengeance, I snuck my hand behind him, and pushed the Night Lord into the container myself. A squeak coming from him as he plopped face first, right into the soapy water. Small chitters interrupting from the group with the Thousand Sons just shaking his head on the side lines.

ℕ𝕖𝕩𝕥 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣: 𝕸𝖎𝖓𝖎𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝕸𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘 II

#space marine husbandry sentience #warhammer 40k #fanfic #fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #space marine #death guard #night lord #thousand sons #world eater

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pasta-in-the-pudding · 5 months

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Guess Who's back ✨

Anyways..What would Jeff be like if he found out Reader was pregnant?

AGHHH I LOVE GETTING TO WRITE FOR DOMESTIC SITUATIONS!!

Weddings, babies, moving in together i love it all 💗

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeff finding out you're pregnant

Jeff has always been firm on the notion that he does not want kids

He thinks kids are annoying and gross and stinky

And there's also some insecurity of him not being able to be a good dad, considering his job, his upbringing, even his appearance

All around, kids are a firm no for him

So when you begin experiencing morning sickness he kind of just denies the very possibility that you could even get pregnant

But you, being at least a little more reasonable than him, decides its better safe than sorry and goes out to buy a test

When you get back, you inform him that you're gonna take the test just to be sure to which he straight up laughs

"You won't need it, because I can tell you right now you're not pregnant"

And so, after a few minutes of waiting anxiously after taking the test, you look at the results and see....a positive

A hand goes to your stomach, the tears already streaming down your face

Jeff, who decided he would wait with you snatches the test and does several takes

He's honestly just speechless, he didn't even really think he could get anyone pregnant, which may have just been wishful thinking on his part

He looks at you, and you look at him

Your face is one of pure joy, and his is a mix of confusion, fear and disgust

"We aren't keeping it, right?" He asks after looking at your face for a while

You frown and smack his arm "jeff! How could you even suggest that?!"

"We aren't prepared for a kid! We've never even talked about it! Not to mention, what kind of life would that kid have?? Growing up in a house full of murderers and monsters, the kid's guaranteed to be fucked in the head!"

"You aren't even going to give this a chance?" You ask frustratedly "you created this with me, you know! The least you could do is take responsibility!"

He groans and storms out of the room, leaving you to cry alone

When he gets back he is less angry, and clearly just got done "blowing off some steam" made clear by the fresh blood on his hoodie

You aren't crying anymore, he comes into the room and sighs before sitting with you on your bed

You are both very quiet for a while, just sitting together

He finally speaks, but he doesn't look at you. He couldn't bear to

"I love you, you know? I just get....i just feel really scared right now because I don't know what to do. I'm not in control and that scares me"

You look at him and place a hand on his cheek "if you wanna get rid of it, then we can discuss our options?" You offer

He shakes his head "i dont wanna get rid of it....i just...i don't want to mess this up, you know?"

You scoot closer to him and lay your head on his shoulder "you won't mess it up..." you look at your stomach and then grab his hand and place it on your lower belly "if you love this baby as much as you love me, theres no way you could" you say looking up at him with a smile

He looks at your stomach and then at you "im still so, so scared" he whispers to you "i dont know anything"

You kiss his nose and press your forehead to his "it's ok. We'll learn together"

He smiles "ok"

After that first whole fight, he actually gets pretty excited about the baby!

You manage to pay slender to get a room that you can make into a nursery, and announce the news to your close friends

Jeff is always buying things for the baby. Toys, clothes, blankets, etc

He also loves to talk to the baby, telling your little one all about the day that he had and how much he loves them

He's still hates kids, but his kid is amazing

(Also authors note i wanna write more general preganancy hcs for jeff bc hes so silly)

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #creepypasta x female reader #jeff the killer headcanons #jeff the killer x reader #jeffery woods #jeff the killer

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missmeinyourbones · 2 years

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What do the AOT Dads do when the baby's crying and it's not for any basic needs or emergency reasons? And you're dog-tired, so they ain't getting any backup.

this was so fun to think about LOL thank u anon for the idea :)

dad!eren who uses the distraction method for any and all tears. baby is crying and he goes through the mental checklist: not hungry cause they just ate, no poopy diaper, not hurt. his go to is just doing whatever he can to distract his baby from being sad. he grabs the item closest to him and just shakes it in his baby’s face like oooooh look at this bag of almonds! listen to the sound cool sound it makes when you shake it! panic city: population eren

dad!armin who does his very best to talk your baby through their emotions even tho they are 1 and can’t speak LOL. ur baby cries because the blender makes a loud noise and he tries to explain it to them like see? it’s just helping daddy make a smoothie! it’s not so scary or when they cry because their sippy cup falls he picks it right up and is like it’s ok! it was just an accident! here you go! he’s so sweet i wanna eat him whole

dad!jean who talks to ur baby like a normal person LOL he just looks at them, maybe rubs their chubby lil legs a bit, and he’s like you don’t even know why you’re crying, do you? i’ve got you, quit whining, no baby voice, no engaging sensory tactics, he loves ur baby sm he just struggles to understand their dramatics. you overhear him from the other room like nothing’s wrong with you, i checked everything, you’re just being dramatic, like your mom (or whatever u preferred to be called)

dad!connie who shakes your baby every time they cry. he just picks them up and throws them around in his arms in hopes of getting them to laugh. he tickles them, bounces them on his hip, puts them on his shoulders. it’s a 50/50 method…when it works, it works seamlessly, but when it fails…ur baby cries harder than before. hit or miss honestly

dad!levi who is very in tune with your baby’s cries, so its not often for him to be confused or overwhelmed with the situation at hand. he knows the tiniest differences in ur baby’s cries, which ones mean they’re hungry, tired, stinky, or just bored. he’s great at differentiating the situations and having a plan for each one. usually just rocks your baby in his arms or walks them around the house, giving them a change of scenery or something to look at. he is the Best Father, offically.

dad!reiner who sings to your baby every time their eyes begin to water or their lip begins to quiver. he’s not even good at singing LOL but its something about the vibration of his voice or the sudden change in situation that stops your baby from crying almost every single time. porco is over ur house one time and the three of them are hanging out and ur baby randomly starts to get fussy and the last thing porco expects is for reiner to fully break out into a personal rendition of shake it off by taylor swift. he secretly records a video of it and sends it in their friend gc every time reiner gets snippy with him

dad!porco who fake cries right back in your baby’s face every time they cry for no reason. your baby whines and screams its little head off and porco is quick to mimic its cries right back to them....ur little baby is so confused and gives him a side eye that practically screams “dad, wtf are you doing....” and porco just smirks and is like “yeah, its not fun to listen to, is it?”

#aot headcanons #aot x reader #eren headcanons #armin headcanons #jean headcanons #connie headcanons #levi headcanons #reiner headcanons #porco headcanons #dad!eren #dad!armin #dad!jean #dad!connie #dad!reiner #dad!levi #dad!porco #parent au

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matchadobo · 1 year

Text

KIDD; kidd as a father

summary: kidd and name having a baby and how they got through it. tw: slight mentions of abortion(?), pregnancy, cursing, sfw, fluff, fem reader, long af, proofread it halfheartedly JSBDBSNSHHW IF GRAMMAR STINKY IM SORRY

wc: 2127

"what's so damn important that you have to drag me inside here?" he scowled, barging inside your shared quarters.

"this." you threw the pregnancy test at the bed as you sat across the room.

he felt cold when he saw the tiny, rectangle device settling on his velvet, raven sheets. "what the fuck is that?" he glared at it like it was gonna respond, recoiling from it like it was going to bite him.

"you know damn well what the hell that is, eustass." your voice grew a notch higher, starting to boil in anger. "you're not that fucking dumb, are you?!"

he met your fiery eyes before staring at the device for a while and picking it up with sweaty hands. as he thought. two red lines.

"how-"

"don't 'how' me, you bastard." you pointed at him. "who was the one begging to come inside, hah?!"

"just fuckin' calm down for a minute, will ya?" he walked closer, sitting at the edge of the bed, facing towards you. "look at me." he firmly declared.

there he saw how glassy your eyes were, how much horror your eyes mirrored, how much your lips trembled as you tried holding back your tears, how knitted your brows were from fretting. he felt his heart twinge in pain, seeing how distraught you were.

"hey, we'll work this out, ya hear me? don't cry, jesus." he tucked a hair behind your ear, wiping the corners of your eyes with his flesh thumb. "what do you want to do?"

it took you a moment to process his question. articulating your thoughts made your head hurt more.

"we're pirates, kidd. you know how much of a world of peril awaits this child." you started, voice shaking from anxiety. "i-i want to keep it, okay?! i-i'm just scared that the baby wouldn't be able to live comfo-"

"then we'll keep it." he concluded. you looked at him, dazed.

"a-are you sure?"

"if that's what you want then why the hell not." he replied, gaze unwavering.

lately, after you break the news to him, you notice how kidd was growing jumpier than usual when you call out to him. how clumsy he's getting, dropping things and tripping over his steps.

"the hell's up with captain?" heat whispered to you, it has been a week since you broke the news to your lover. yet the crew is still clueless about the situation. "he's been screwing up so frequent, it's uncharacteristic don't you think?"

you tried to come up with an excuse, fumbling over your drink yet killer stood beside you and saved you from the situation. "he just hasn't been shitting regularly." he blurted out. you snickered, trying to stifle your thunderous laughter.

heat snickered shaking his head, leaving you two alone.

"don't worry, i know. i'll let you two announce it to the crew." killer mumbled, subtly nudging you. "congratulations."

"thanks kil, did he tell you?"

he stifled his laughter, "he didn't have to. you know how shitty he is at keeping secrets."

you laughed to yourself thinking about how silly he must be.

"but you know," killer started. "i think the whole baby thing is sinking in to him slowly. look at him, he's gonna trip again." he pointed at kidd who was walking up the stairs and almost missing a step.

before anything could happen, you ran towards him and stopped him in his tracks. "stop! let's talk, okay?" he let you drag him to the an enclosed space.

"is it bothering you, love?"

"the fuck is?"

"this whole baby thing?"

"n-no!" he laughed, masking his anxiety.

"come on, i know you...! killer already knew 'cuz you're dumbass have no idea what subtlety is...!" you flicked his forehead playfully. "other crewmates are getting dubious, it's not like we have to tell them immediately but we have to one way or another."

"okay fuckin' fine, it's screaming in my head. this baby that we're gonna raise and look after is not something i've seen happening in the near future, okay?! being a fuckin' father wasn't in my goddamn bucket list, that's for fuckin' sure! so i can't wrap my goddamn head around the fact that we'll have a brat in nine fuckin' months! how the hell am i gonna raise that fuckin' kid properly?! i've never did anything properly in my motherfuckin' life! i don't even do you properly! so how is it gonna be possible to raise a child-"

"okay, okay, breathe eustass. calm down now." you rubbed his brawny arms comfortingly, massaging the back of his head with your other hand while holding his gaze. "we're doing this together, right? you're not raising this 'brat' on your own, right? don't keep all the responsibility to yourself, love. for better, or for worse remember?"

he let out a heavy sigh through his nose. "for better or for worse." he repeated it like a prayer, your voice singing to him like a lullaby, trying to calm himself down. he sat down the chair, holding your waist close and placing his head to the side, ear to your stomach. "thought your mama was the only one driving me crazy up until now, brat." he mumbled to your abdomen.

you chuckled in endearment, combing through his vibrant, crimson locks. you two stayed in that position for a while, taking solace in the silence and presence of one another.

once you two had composed yourself, you find the courage to open the door only to see the majority of the crew leaning by the it, listening to what was going on.

"the lot of ya are just askin' to get killed aren't ya?!" kidd glared at them as they shuddered in fear, that usual malevolent aura of him instantly reverted back to him from his vulnerable state when he chased his crew members down. at the end of the day during dinner, you two had formally announced it whilst kidd threw eye daggers at each face he saw earlier who was eavesdropping.

during your first trimester, whenever you feel the symptoms kicking in, kidd would ALWAYS go quite nuts at trying to respond to your whines. whenever you snap at him when he mindlessly steals the blanket, whenever you feel fatigued or hot; he nags his crew to get you damp towels and medicine or soups to soothe you, whenever you crave for bizarre food combinations, he'd judge you yet still get you whatever the hell you're asking, going extreme lengths just for you.

"LOVEEE! get me jackfruits dipped in hot sauce!"

"you're a fuckin' monster."

"get that shit or i'll kill you."

the same goes for your second trimester. your stomach started growing even more rounder and bigger, resulting in more pain at your lower extremities; you complained and whined even more. your mood got worse and kidd would do everything to calm it down despite being infuriated with the circumstances.

he'd take you out so 'you could scream at other people other than him' as he put it, he'd give you your favorite foods and listen to your nonsense whenever you'd eat, he'd sometimes go battle your screaming fits with his own acrimonious self and it would lead to difficult nights. yet with each night he'd always lay by your side, let you lay in his arms, encage you in his embrace, give you most of the blanket, and let you talk and talk until you want to because of the baby keeping you up. regardless the time, he'd be awake listening and replying to you.

and one time when the baby kicked, you two shared that knowing gaze. you've never seen so much unfeigned joy in his eyes ever since the time you said 'i do' to him.

he went and rested his ear at your stomach, "ya up at his hour, huh? keeping your mama and i up," he said, rubbing circles with his palms as he followed the movement of the baby. when it finally calmed down, he kissed your stomach goodnight before placing a kiss on your forehead and going to sleep.

kidd had to go to extreme lengths to let law ultrasound you during your third trimester. let's just say deals were placed and he'd have to pay his end of the bargain in the future in this case.

"it's a boy." law declared. you could see how kidd rejoiced, shotting up from his seat, a proud grin on his face.

he'd be stoic, but you see him buy parenting books, staying up late to read the hows of a househusband. you'd see him look at baby toys and decorations whenever the victoria dock on towns to resupply. or stay up even later to secretly work on his handcrafted toys and trinkets for his son at his workshop. you'd peek over his workshop, watching him and feel your heartstrings pull at the sight.

"not gonna sleep yet?"

he'd be startled and try to hide it clumsily, "w-what the hell, name?!"

"c'mon why try hiding it from me?" you chuckled, walking closer to him. looming behind him, you rubbed his stiff shoulders as he leaned into your touch. humming at your tender massages, looking up at you. "it's so adorable, love! when did you get all sappy, huh?"

you heart stuttered at the jewelry in front of you. it was necklace with a turtle pendant, settled at his desk. the pendant was tiny, it spans across the half of your thumb. its shells were made from torques of varying sizes, screws for its legs, stacked torques for its neck, and a mini metal ball for its head.

you held it up, admiring his creation. "you made this just for him?" you uttered, eyes glassy, chest fluttering, and voice full of warmth.

"n-newborns need somethin' to hold onto from their parents, right?" he sheepishly replied, cheeks pink while he fiddled with his tools. "it's somethin' he'd hold dear until he grows up."

melting at his remark, you replied. "really, love? where did you learn that?"

he pointed to the stack of parenting books set aside on his shelves. your heart bloomed in love at his gesture, the fact that he would exert so much of his time and effort just for the baby, for his son that'd be coming in a few weeks. "do you think he'll like it?" you brought your hand to his nape, relaxing him.

"he better do." he pointed at your stomach. when you two saw a kick after, you two chorused in laughter.

and now the labor day came. settled in the polar tang, kidd was giddily waiting outside the delivery room. you kicked him out since he was adding to your stress when he kept pacing back and forth the room.

"do i trust you with this child?" law raised a brow and jokingly keeping his son away.

"do you want me to fuckin' bury you alive? that's my son you're holdin'!"

when he finally had him in his arms, he held it like it was the most fragile treasure he ever laid his hands on. admiring his supple and round face, a tender smile tugged at his lips. as someone being so gruff, it was an unfamiliar sight to see him cradle and be enamored with the baby he's holding.

"you're finally here, brat." he whispered, with words so brash and a tone so sweet and joyous. seeing the baby giggle in joy at the arms of the fiery pirate like him mirrored angels singing at heaven.

followed the nights where the baby starts to violently cry at varied times of the day, more chaos ensued in the victoria punk. from rowdy crewmates to the ear-splitting cries of your son, bags under yours and kid's eyes grew darker.

in the span of seven months, kidd had managed to develop a skill of sleeping while feeding milk to the baby, you had managed to catch him each time and it was the most beautiful thing you had witnessed in your life. him clutching the baby with his metal hand and the flesh one patting his back or holding the bottle, lightly swaying in the rocking chair while snoring silently.

they were physically inseparable. not to exaggerate but, the only time you breastfeed may be the only time you have your alone time with your son. it's not like you're holding it against him, you adore the fact that kidd is so passionate about looking after him. it makes you feel warm and fuzzy all over again. seeing how someone who was so scared of the life of a father is now enjoying himself at the company of his son will be a core memory to you.

and you'd always wonder to yourself; who would've thought that someone so rough around the edges, someone who had so many walls built up, someone so ferocious, could manage to hold and care for his son so delicately?

did this all in one night and proofread it the next day cuz stuff had been hectic WBSYHSHSHS im blooming with ideas rn but theres so much to do for school huffffff

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iambilliejeanok · 1 year

Note

Hcs of what would happen if you accidentally farted on your Naruto dude during sex, please! :) Because I want to make everyone feel awkward.

Specific Naruto guys: Madara, Tobirama, Izuna, Sasuke and Itachi

Warnings: 18+, nsfw mentions pls, lots of farts it might get a little stinky

Madara

Madara is absolutely shocked. He just hasn’t formulated a way out of a situation like this yet. If you focus too much on the fact that you farted he’s also just gonna stop and look at you…And you two will just be there like

Your vagina does make those farty sounds when you two are at it sometimes, so if you play it cool he will definitely tell himself it was one of those instead.

If your fart was stinky mate…he will hold his breath for as long as he needs to and keep on doing what he’s doing. “Wow, you’re really losing control huh?”, he will tease and make you laugh involuntarily, laughing with you before diving in for a kiss.

“Don’t make me fuck the fart out of you”, he teases whenever he playfully threatens to put you in place. “Madara!”, you whine, “It was an accident okay!!”, you try to defend yourself. “An accident that I can and will make happen again so stop playing with me”, he laughs, holding his tummy at the sight of your embarrassed expression.

Itachi

“Stinky”, he teases before he places a kiss on your forehead and continues with whatever he’s doing.

He’s loves how normal you can be sometimes, and will try his best to not make you feel awkward about normal things like that.

He doesn’t pay too much mind to whether it smells or not. Even if it really wreaks, he will hide away any facial expression from you. He farts around you all the time anyway to it would be really unfair for him to make a big deal out of it.

He might actually fart too to try and level things out. He’s a strategist after all.

Tobirama

He might secretly have a bit of a fart kink….Yes. You fart in your sleep now and then and he just buries himself under the covers to get some good whiffs alright. Yeah. Especially the warm and wet farts those ones are his favorite.

If you fart during sex he becomes really awkward. Not because you farted but because he’s worried you might figure out that he’s trying to sniff it. You notice how weird he’s being and immediately apologize. “I’m sorry love, I didn’t mean to do that”, you softly say, “oh, uhm *clears throat* don’t worry it’s really okay” he quickly responds. Making you doubt if it really is… whole time he’s really into it.

Fart while he’s eating you out and he’s coming for that impatient hole next, shoving his tongue inside of it immediately!!! He just needs to taste it and it breathe it all in. Yes. He just

Sasuke

That shits over faster than you can apologize. You just killed the vibes real bad y/n. How dare you. If it’s a stinky fart he will literally turn you over and spank you ON SIGHT.

He will come back and finish where he left off once he’s done throwing his little tantrum. At that point you’re also a bit turned off but he will force them orgasms out of you stop playing.

But if he’s seriously punishing you, you might need to consider farting, it could possibly free you from whatever torture he’s putting you through. Use your fart like a weapon y/n. It could help you more than you know.

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bonebabbles · 3 months

Text

Ok. Fun scooby-doo jokes are over. Time for a graphic birthing scene as Star Flower enters premature labor after being starved for days and running to get away from a bunch of stinky, dirty rogues.

The writers will see a woman character and ask, "Is anyone going to describe the pain and viscera in intense, obsessive detail?" and not even wait

*Shrek voice* she doesn't even get the birthing stick

(under a cut because eurgh)

It's gotta be super dramatic, to really tease the audience with the idea that Clear Sky might lose a third pregnant wife for his pain.

Star Flower has been put through such INTENSE torment to make Clear Sky feel bad and rally the cats to come together to help him out that it's taken me out of it completely.

Gray Wing also realizes he's been thinking about Star Flower too much, while she's bleeding out and giving birth several weeks early after escaping Slash's Torment Nexus, so he takes a moment to rotate his brother around in his head for a bit.

"He'd been so panicked about Star Flower that he hadn't thought about his brother," who is apparently going to get set upon by a band of Slash's angry rogues all alone in this fantasy daydream Gray Wing has conjured up in his head.

Like, apparently Clear Sky is going to leave the meeting with Slash, get told about the secret plan to rescue Star Flower which was happening concurrently (already happened; we saw this), then jump up and run from what everyone's told him, bolt towards a camp he doesn't know the location of, and a patrol of Slash's warriors are going to find him?

ok.

Anyway then all the women come together to midwife for Star Flower.

And then Clear Sky and Star Flower cuddle around the new kits and act all cute. The "pure love" in Clear Sky's eyes is focused on, everyone recommends he takes extra good care of his premature kits, etc. He's So Totally Changed Now, through the magic of wife and babies.

All I'm thinking about is how he kills one of these children later, by refusing to allow Acorn Fur to complete her training and throwing a tantrum about how "SkyClan doesn't ask for help unless we have no choice!" when she tells him she can't treat his son's fox-inflicted mauling alone.

One more patented brother moment between Clear Sky and Gray Wing

I'm just gonna be honest, man... I hear from a LOT of people that this tugs at their heartstrings, so maybe I just don't "get it." But this WHOLE series long, Gray Wing has pissed himself over how Clear Sky can't have possibly "changed that much" from when they were children, won't accept that he's a child-beating and woman-slaughtering tyrant, IMMEDIATELY jumps to his defense at every turn even when it's ridiculous, and here's the payoff.

Hugging and sniffing his Dear Brother and having a flashback to them being babies at their mother's breast, secure in the knowledge he was right all along.

That every time he downplayed abuse, shoved people towards a situation where they'd be in danger, or prevented others from recognizing Clear Sky as the threat he was, he was correct that Clear Sky, in contrast to the EEEVIL rogues, was a good boy. Nothing about Clear's behavior has actually changed besides having MORE children to endanger.

This is chapter SIX of the LAST BOOK and we already saw Clear Sky using abuse tactics earlier to try and manipulate Thunder into doing what he wants.

So, I can't sympathize with the "heartwarming" reaction. "Ohh it's so sweet that the dear brothers are having flashbacks to when they were 6" I cannot relate. Idk how you can watch AMVs of this without wanting to set them both on fire. Thunder should get a restraining order.

#Btw winner of funniest song is Sneaky Snitch #That wins #That is objectively the funniest song to play during that scene #Kevin MacLeod Wins #Btw I didn't really post or get into it because it was really generic besides like... leaf starts yowling as a distraction #Which I've chosen to interpret as his attempt at bird noises #Because it is a LOT funnier to imagine him going “CA CAWWWWWWWWWW” as the guards are just. deeply confused.#They break in to save starf and she's like 'there's two more guards!' and then there's two more guards.#Then they run. This was apparently a genius plan.#Meme of Thunder's two paws and he's holding TWO restraining orders #dotc hate #bones reads dotc

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