#U CANNOT tell me there wasn’t something happening there | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladcedes · 5 months

Text

two wheels

george russell x biker!reader, social media!au

summary george's new girlfriend seems way too cool for him and the fans just cannot believe it

notes bit of a longer one here (what is a plot) but i just wanted to do something fun since it's the winter break. and i love poking a bit of fun at my favs

yourusername

tagged: yourbestfriend and 6 others

Liked by lilymhe, georgerusselll63, and 29,412 others

yourusername that's my party people! 🍾

10 December 2023

view 116 comments

yourbestfriend for the record, everything that happened after 9pm is completely yn's fault

⤷ yourusername sooo r u still up for next week?

⤷ yourbestfriend @/yourusername 100%

⤷ yourfriend1 yn is the reason why you shouldn't drink and drive 😭

nadissodone HOLDDDDD IT 🚨🚨 george liked this post

⤷ 44formula but he wasn't tagged soo??

⤷ goatmilton what is a polar bear doing in arlington texas 💀💀💀

champagneshower no way 4th slide is george tho

liked by yourusername

⤷ jadedtrack it does kinda look like him tbf

4strobaby yn ma'am could you please confirm whether or not you have a boyfriend

liked by yourusername

⤷ 4strobaby GUYS SHE LIKED THE COMMENT THIS MIGHT MEAN SOMETHING

⤷ unevilincorporated OMG WAIT @/yourusername does that boyfriend happen to be f1 driver george russell???

liked by yourusername and georgerussell63

⤷ unevilincorporated BOTH HER AND GEORGE LIKED THAT ONE???? IT DEFINITELY MEANS SOMETHING

⤷ maroon.jpg @unevilincorporated yall are crazy why are we playing ouija board with comment likes 😭😭

georgerussell63

Liked by pierregasly, yourusername, and 127,384 others

georgerussell63 Pretty good start to winter break ❄️

p.s. thanks danielricciardo for the wine

18 December 2023

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danielricciardo Hope you guys enjoyed the wine!

⤷ yourusername the wine was a banger, will 100% be getting more

⤷ tracklimited @/yourusername oh yeah she basically just confirmed that they're together 💀

oceanblvd im almost positive that's yn's helmet theyre really not trying to hide it anymore

yourusername • 3hrs ago | georgerussell63 • 2hrs ago / 20 December 2023

you replied to georgerussell63's story:

i'm taking u out on another one tmr and u can't say no babe

georgerussell63:

what if i do say no?

you:

u can't. i'll kidnap u and throw u on my bike

georgerussell63:

i could run away

and i think mercedes will have something to say about that

you:

don't worry, i won't keep you for too long

besides, the team loves me

they'll let me off the hook

georgerussell63:

i don't like how i can't argue with that

yourusername

tagged: georgerussell63 and 7 others

Liked by francisca.cgomes and 211,220 others

yourusername i should be playing in the winter snow, but imma be under the mistletoe (with youuu)

25 December 2023

view 213 comments

lilymhe nobody tell her it wasn’t snowing in london last night

⤷ yourusername i wouldn’t have known anyway tbh

⤷ pierregasly @/yourusername too busy?

⤷ georgerussell63 @/pierregasly we can’t disclose that i’m afraid.. the nda and all that 😂😂

⤷ brockenclocks @/pierregasly why is pierre always at the scene of the crime 😭😭

⤷ certifiedlvrgrrl @/georgerussell63 george wtf do u mean by the nda

mercedesamgf1 Merry Christmas from the team!

liked by yourusername

yourusername • 2hrs ago / 28 December 2023

yourusername

tagged: georgerussell63 and 4 others

Liked by lissiemackintosh, georgerussell63, and 52,220 others

yourusername starting the year off in the beautiful south of france 💋

📸 1&2: georgerussell63

4 January 2024

view 224 comments

georgerussell63 i think i should get credits for the 4th pic too since it was taken on my phone

⤷ yourusername georgie please just let it go 😭

⤷ georgerussell63 @ yourusername you took 50 pictures before letting me leave the bathroom and i was only in half of them.

⤷ yourusername @ georgerussell63 they're for ur personal collection 😘

⤷ moonriver @ yourusername PERSONAL COLLECTION????

⤷ sativaur @ yourusername "personal collection" yn im going insane

fonedance yn you're so fine please break up with ur bf i can treat you better than he ever will

⤷ cuntlonso realest thing i've read all day 😭😭😭

georgerussell63

Liked by pierregasly, logansargeant, and 216,993 others

georgerussell63 A refreshing little getaway to start the year

📸 2: yourusername

4 January 2024

view 431 comments

jadedfc the way his arm wraps around her in their pics im sosoo sick

⤷ rollemodel he lowkey shut down all the haters with it too

⤷ sunburnns that should be me pls

yourusername

tagged: georgerussell63

Liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe and 39.238 others

yourusername trying out a couple extra wheels...

16 January 2024

view 146 comments

yourbestfriend coolest girl itw ⚡️

lilymhe so the final verdict on 2 vs 4 wheels is...?

⤷ georgerussell63 4 wins

⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 hell no it's obviously 2 🙄

⤷ georgerussell63 @/yourusername think that's because you lost by an entire lap?

⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 as if you didn't almost fall off the bike!! u're also biased

⤷ georgerussell63 @/yourusername why don't we just agree to disagree?

⤷ yourusername @/georgerussell63 you just don't wanna admit i'm right

⤷ motogp @/georgerussell63 @/yourusername🍿🍿🍿

⤷ lilymhe @/motogp pass me some, too

⤷ alex_albon @/motogp me 3

gr63stan their arguing is so adorable 😭😭

mercrarri yep i still think she's way too cool for him

⤷ landoshelmet ikr she's such a badass and he's... there

⤷ pastrydish literal she's everything and he's just ken

⤷ 4lbons she already said leave the man alone damn 😭😭

maiadrsh george russell has to be the luckiest man alive

⤷ yourusername more like sexiest man alive

⤷ alex_albon @/yourusername i did NOT need to see you say that today 🤢

⤷ georgerussell63 @alex_albon you'd better believe it 😎

⤷ alex_albon @/georgerussell63 not today, not for a single one of the past 15 years we've known each other, and not ever

⤷ yourusername @alex_albon sincerely, even i doubt that second part

⤷ silverstoned what is yn insinuating in these comments 🤨

an: i feel like every time i post a new smau i level up and introduce new formatting. also comment tags r weird bcs i wna avoid tagging real users and it irks me

bonus:

yourusername • 12hrs ago

seen by georgerussell63, francisca.cgomes, and 153,329 others

georgerussell63 replied to your story | 16:44

"but you love me more"

"right?"

you | 16:45

"hmmmm i gotta think about it"

"i'll tell you tomorrow?"

georgerussell63 | 16:46

"..."

"i can't believe i might lose to a bike 😐"

you | 16:46

"jokes 😭"

"would you pick your car over me, though?"

georgerussell63 | 16:48

"no comment"

you | 16:49

"george."

georgerussell63 | 16:51

"i love you"

you | 16:52

"i'm coming over"

#george russell x reader #george russell smau #george russell #george russell fanfic #george russell imagine #formula one #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #formula one fanfic #formula 1 x reader #george russell x you #alex albon #george russell social media au #f1 smau #george russell one shot #f1 one shot

1K notes · View notes

ardourie · 28 days

Text

ok cool ig im name dropping then, u are literally making up headcanons about me based on fucking nothing, i didn’t exclusively focus on the flaws of white trans people over cis white people if u actually read anything i posted instead of believing anons randomly accusing me of things you’d see my only issue is white people like YOU because you are white

watering down the impact of racism and pretending that it isn’t as harmful when coming from queer people as if being queer is an inherently purifying or redeemable action, this website is overwhelmingly trans, our circles are majority trans, getting into disagreements with trans people on here is going to happen bc of how many queer people there are on this platform, if the only people you claim i harassed are users like ratliker i don’t want to fucking hear it, i’ve been having people call me a terf for years bc of standing up to her racism and black genocide denial, every single fucking time someone on here does something racist and a brown person points it out ppl around you run to call them transphobic, like ur doing right now! the second sentence of her post literally says i deserve to be called a terf for just talking about the racism happening on the poll, she said that HERSELF

i said hussie has done racist acts and has racism in their comic, that doesn’t make hussie evil or fans of it evil it just means we should actually acknowledge its there and not have viral post going around claiming that none of what hussie did was that bad bc they’re trans and if ur bothered by it ur automatically transphobic, as if that isn’t an incredibly fucked up thing to say, bc u said that urself on ur blog multiple times, here’s my original and ONLY post that made someone go and tell plaidos i sent death threats when that wasn’t remotely what i was saying

plaidos posted this ask that immediately had ppl in my inbox calling me a terf and bigot for harassing a trans girl (hussie) and saying im a horrible person for sending death threats when i NEVER did that, had no reason to, and hussie isn’t even ON tumblr to do that

she also stated that she meant i “started” the death threats instead of sending them which is still a fucking lie bc the poll that i was referencing was posted FOUR days ago and has ppl fighting and talking about death threats about hussie before i even knew it fucking existed, and she would know bc she was arguing under the post four days ago HERSELF

how did i start death threats on a post i didnt find out about until 4 days after people were fighting under it? how the fuck does that work?

she then went on to slip up and reveal that she subconsciously thinks the queer community is only white bc when ppl complain about white queers they r complaining about latent racism, bc brown people exist in ur community and acting like poc criticizing white people (who will always be white no matter the other identities they have) means u hate queers is racist as hell

shit like THIS is what hussie was doing on a constant basis

these are just two examples you could google “homestuck racism” and find much more my only point that i ever made is that it’s insensitive and fucked up to act like anyone who doesn’t like or even hates homestuck for its racism is a transphobe or evil instead possibly someone deeply affected by hussies racism, and plaidos was under the original poll post i referenced arguing with black people calling them liars for saying hussie is racist and has antiblackness in his work:

if you recognize hussie is racist and has racism in their work why the fuck are you arguing with black people about that fact? why are you pretending people are lying and making up rumors when hussies racism has been a known fact for a literal decade at this point, hussie was quite literally responsible for a boom in antiblack racism online in the early internet you cannot be so dense as to not acknowledge this, and i want to clarify im literally a homestuck fan, homestuck meant so much to me as a kid, and bc of that i know that online spaces for homestuck treated black people like absolute shit for complaining about the racism, i was bullied and harassed so much for even being upset at characters in the comic using the n word or mocking black people, im criticizing it bc i care about it being such a large phenomenon responsible for the normalization of my oppression.

not going over the homestuck racism workshop thing bc u ppl r being purposefully obtuse and i already talked about it here

if you don’t believe me, please go ask the people accusing me of these things for screenshots of me sending death threats, ask them to show that i have no transfem friends, ask them to show it bc every fucking time theirs never any proof, stop believing ask u read about me with no proof stop believing rumors, put urself in the shoes of others, would you want hundreds of ppl sharing post saying you did something you didn’t fucking do with no proof? ask yourself why you don’t see many black people speak out on racism on here and ask urself if maybe it might correlate to how we get demonized for it, if you think callout culture is bad why participate in it in a way where you don’t even have photo evidence backing for what your sharing

lastly, u people keep going on and on about the company i keep but are the same ones cropping out the trans girls im friends with and constantly talking to on my blog, you did it with the last situation regarding aaron bushnell you did it with the previous pregnancy callout, yall literally accuse every trans girl around me of being self hating or theyfabs, random trans women who simply shared my opinion have been harassed and accused of being sock puppets, i have a whole post about that in my pinned, but u don’t care, it’s easier to make me a scape goat and deflect criticisms of racism despite you being white and unaffected than it is to simply go “yeah some people are gonna hate media that has racism in it and that isn’t indicative of anything other than hating racism” your fucking white, can we be serious right now, you published ask saying i was sending death threats to hussie when that never happened and accused me of starting the anger on a poll i never reblogged that a bunch of my trans girl mutuals were complaining about 16 hours ago, so which is it? transfem opinions matter to you or they don’t? bc it seems like u just pick a fucking choose which girls to listen to and like randomly going after black people for not liking antiblack racism

#drama

209 notes · View notes

tkaulitzlvr · 8 months

Note

Help I love your writing so much I get so excited when you post 💗 can you do a “one bed” scenario please where reader and Tom are like ‘enemies’ but not really 🤭

🛐🙏 I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR STORIES THANK YOU!!!

ONE BED - T. KAULITZ

synopsis: when there is a mixup in the amount of hotel rooms the band were meant to book, you and tom are forced to get a lot closer than you have ever before - much to your annoyance.

content: angst

a/n: thank you so much i’m so glad you enjoy my writing, it really means a lot!! and thank u for the request i hope u like it!

“hi, um we have five rooms booked under the name kaulitz.” bill says, leaning against the receptionist’s desk as she nods slightly, beginning to type something on her computer.

we had been travelling all day, looking forward to getting some rest, the boys performing in two days, their tour coming to an end. i wasn’t part of the band, but i came with them on tour, having known them all my life, it had just become routine that i would join them, no matter where they went. they were my family, and i loved them all like brothers, well, apart from one of them. tom.

he had never warmed up to me, our personalities always clashing for some reason. and, even though we had grown up, maturity supposedly coming with age, we still despised each other just as much as we did all those years ago, the tension never really easing, tolerating him being all i could do - and even that proved difficult sometimes.

“sorry, what was your name again?” the receptionist asks, peering upwards from her computer and looking at bill briefly, taking a quick peek behind him as we all stand tiredly, wanting to go to bed, the delay only irritating us more.

“kaulitz, k-a-u-l-i-t-z.” bill says, spelling his last name out, turning to face us for a second, a puzzled expression on his face as i send one back his way, confused on what is taking this long.

i hear tom tut behind me as he drops his bags down on the ground with a thud, my eyes meeting his as i send him an annoyed look, him pulling a face back and pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“okay, we have you booked in, but you’ve only paid for two rooms.” the woman behind the desk says, looking upwards once more.

“oh that’s not a problem.” bill begins, pulling his wallet out and searching for his card. “i must’ve made a mistake, i can just pay for three more.”

“i’m sorry sir, we’re fully booked. that won’t be possible.” she says, standing up from her desk and finding the keys to the two rooms bill had somehow booked.

my eyes widen, gustav and georg doing the same as we share confused glances, wondering how we are going to fit into two rooms, when we had planned to all have our own as we did every time we stayed somewhere. sure, we would usually all hang out in someone’s room together, but we each needed our space when we went to bed, none of us keen on the idea of sharing.

“but, there’s five of us, we can’t fit into two rooms.” bill says, panicking a little as he tries to reason with the receptionist, desperate for a solution.

meanwhile, tom rolls his eyes, muttering a small ‘fucking great’ under his breath, thinking that none of us hear. but, i am far too tired to scold him for it, too focused on thinking of a way to fix this.

“i apologise sir, but there’s really nothing i can do.” the lady sits back at the desk as bill begins to walk away, the five of us standing in the middle of the lobby, wondering what the fuck we were going to do.

“bill how the fuck did you manage to book two rooms instead of five?” tom breaks the silence, massaging his temples and glaring at bill.

“maybe if you did something for us all once, instead of leaving it all to me whilst you sit on your ass then this wouldn’t have happened!” bill shoots back, georg, gustav and i rolling our eyes, not wanting to hear another one of the twins’ arguments - especially not right now.

“guys this isn’t the time for your bickering, let’s just see how many beds the rooms have, and we can figure it out from there, okay?” georg says, tom and bill reluctantly nodding their heads as we all squeeze into the small elevator, next to no room between us as we try to fit five people, plus our luggage into it.

we all make it inside, my side pressed against tom’s back. he groans in frustration, trying to move me off of him. “jesus christ you wanna get any closer? might as well climb on my fucking back.” tom scoffs.

“i don’t know if you’ve noticed but this isn’t exactly a spacious elevator. shut up whining and deal with it.” i reply as the doors open, all of us pouring out of it, thankful to have some personal space and fresh air. we walk to our rooms - 401 and 402, praying that there are five beds between the two rooms, and none of us will have to share.

we walk into room 401, the decor minimalistic and clean, seeing a small living room with a decent sized couch that someone could sleep on. the bedroom is a few steps away, bill and tom walking ahead, the rest of us walking in and seeing two single beds.

“thank god.” bill sighs in relief. “three of us can stay in here, the other room should be the same. let’s go check to make sure.”

we all nod, walking to 402 as bill uses the keycard to unlock the door. we walk in, the room completely different to the one next door.

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” tom mutters, rolling his eyes as he looks at the room, knowing that there is now a pretty big problem.

it is much smaller, a double bed placed in the middle of the room, glass doors leading out onto the balcony and an en-suite bathroom at one side of the bedroom. somebody would have to share.

“no way am i sleeping here.” gustav says, bill quickly nodding in agreement, georg running into the other room as they both follow, leaving tom and i alone in the smaller room.

“no! absolutely not, no way.” tom quickly says as he realises the situation, storming into the other room and shaking his head, catching the other guys’ attention as i follow behind him. “there is no way i’m sharing a bed with her.”

he turns around to face me, pointing an angry finger in my direction as he spews out his frustration, making it pretty clear that he doesn’t want to be anywhere near me. i stand silently, rolling my eyes at his childishness, not at all keen on the idea either, but i refrain from making a scene as he just did.

“tom you don’t have a choice, it’s just one night, grow a pair.” bill says, earning a quiet laugh from georg behind him.

“please bill, i can’t share with him. i’ll do literally anything.” i beg, feeling nauseous at the thought of having to sleep in the same bed as tom.

“sorry guys, it’s only for a night. i’m sure you’ll be fine.” he shrugs, flopping into his bed, his luggage sprawled out on the floor, nobody caring about the mess. “goodnight, try not to kill each other.”

i scoff at his comment, exiting their bedroom and waving to gustav, who is laying on the couch. tom follows behind him, gustav’s eyes widening as he realises the situation, mouthing a quick ‘good luck’ before i leave, letting tom close the door behind him. none of us say a word walking to our hotel room, my hand reaching for the keycard as i open the door, leaving it open for him to walk in, though it is tempting to slam it in his face and let him sleep in the hallways.

i lift my luggage onto the bed, opening the suitcase and looking for a pair of pyjamas, pulling out a small white crop top and plaid pants. i scramble for the bag that has all my skincare inside it, about to pull it out before my suitcase is tossed aside, looking upwards and seeing tom glaring down at me.

“can you move? your suitcase is taking up all the room.”

i tut, shaking my head and grabbing my bag, zipping the suitcase back up and putting it in the corner of the room, staying silent as i make my way to the bathroom, tom sprawled out on the bed the last thing i see before i close the door.

my comfy clothes on and makeup off, i open the door, seeing tom laid shirtless on the bed, some basketball shorts covering his lower half, cap off and dreads in a ponytail, laid back as he searches through the channels on the tv, which is turned on at an unnecessarily loud volume.

“jesus christ are you trying to get us a noise warning? turn that shit down.” i say, snatching the remote from his hands and lowering the volume, harshly shoving it back into his lap.

he sniggers slightly, enjoying the way he can frustrate me by doing the smallest of things, my mind sometimes questioning wether he does it on purpose, wanting to get a reaction out of me.

i climb into bed at the opposite side, getting under the covers and switching off the lamp at my side, yawning as i realise how tired i really am, tom seeming to be wide awake as the tv continues to blare around the room, the bright light emitting from it stopping me from falling asleep.

“can you turn it off? i want to go to sleep.” i ask, already frustrated, his presence alone enough to anger me.

to my surprise, he doesn’t fight me on it, no rude remark coming out of his mouth, the room being taken over by darkness as he turns it off, an uncomfortable silence taking over as i lay on my side at the edge of the bed, trying to get as far away from him as possible.

his breathing is heavy as he lays flat, his legs stretched out as he clearly doesn’t care about our proximity as much as i do, his leg slightly touching mine. i physically can’t move it any further away, my limbs almost hanging off the edge of the bed as it is. instead of telling him to move, i kick his leg slightly, pushing it away.

“ow! the fuck was that for?” he says looking over at me as i turn to face him, his features only just distinguishable in the dark.

“you’re hogging the entire bed, move!” i shoot back, rolling my eyes.

“you’re not using the space, so why shouldn’t i? you’re getting all pissy because our legs touched, i cant fucking help it, we’re sharing a bed.” he says, stating the obvious.

“i can’t take this.” i mutter, grabbing my pillow and a spare blanket from the cupboard, setting it up on the floor next to the bed.

“what are you doing?” tom asks, sitting up and peering over the bed as i lay down on the floor, moving around to try and get comfy, the surface hard and uneven, much unlike the bed above me, which was actually comfortable.

“the fuck does it look like i’m doing? i’m sleeping on the floor since you’re being such an ass.” i respond, shutting my eyes and trying to fall asleep, but i can still feel tom’s gaze burning into me.

“don’t be ridiculous. get into bed.” tom says, moving over and giving me a little more space.

“no.”

“why not?”

“because you’re pissing me off, okay? you’re just so fucking irritating. shut up, just shut up for once in your fucking life tom!”

silence. i expect another clever comeback, or a witty insult from him, but he stays silent, causing me to open my eyes in confusion. i sit up, looking in tom’s direction and seeing him laid down, staring at the ceiling with his jaw clenched. he looks strangely hurt, like my words had actually impacted him. they never had before, the both of us able to hurl the harshest of insults at each other and brush it off, but this time it seemed different.

“what, did i hit a nerve?” i scoff, genuinely in disbelief of the way he has switched up so fast, his usual heartless demeanour far gone as he lies in silence. “you know it’s the truth tom, you’re always out to get me and i’m sick of it. you’re the most annoying-”

“yeah, i think i got it.” he mumbles, shaking his head and turning around onto his side so he is facing away from me.

“the fuck is up with you?” i say, standing up and moving onto the bed, sitting cross-legged as i try to take a glance at his face, this proving impossible.

“you’ve made your point. just stop it, leave me alone.” he mutters, his voice tired, a little upset too.

“jesus, you can’t seriously be hurt by me saying that! you’ve said all sorts of shit to me, why are you getting so pissy?” i ask, laughing a little, struggling to understand where his change in attitude has come from.

he stays quiet, his body still as it still faces away from me. i give up, accepting defeat and realising that i wont get a response out of him, feeling a little guilty for some reason, although he has said way worse to me and felt no remorse.

i grab my pillow from the floor, putting it back onto the bed as i slip under the covers once again, knowing that i would have gotten zero sleep if i had spent the night on the floor. i lay down, my back flat against the mattress, eyes falling shut as lethargy soon takes over. sleep is seconds away from consuming me, my mind almost falling into a slumber, until i feel a warm hand touch mine, stretching outwards so that it is fully covering it, the certainty of its movement way too strong for it to be an accident.

my eyes shoot open, seeing tom already looking in my direction. he doesn’t move his hand, quickly ruling out his touch being an accident. i don’t pull away, i don’t ask what he thinks he is doing, i don’t call him some childish name. instead, all i can do it look into his eyes, my body still and breathing heavy.

he stays silent too, his body slowly moving closer to mine, my stomach dropping as nerves take over, too intrigued to stop him. he hesitates, before bringing his hand upwards, his other still holding mine, and moving the loose strands of hair out of my face.

“you know i never hated you, right?” he whispers, positioning his hand next to my face once he has moved the hairs covering my features.

“what?” is all i can say, having no idea what the fuck is happening right now, wondering wether this is all some crazy dream.

“why do we act so cold towards each other?” he asks, not moving away from me, his head resting on the pillows, just a few inches away from mine.

“it’s always been a pretty mutual thing tom.” i say, unsure of what else to respond with, unable to remember a time that tom and i hadn’t constantly been at each other’s throats.

“you’re the most oblivious person i’ve ever met, you know that?” he says, breathing out heavily. for a second, i swear i see a smile on his face, but i blame it on the darkness, convincing myself that it is making me hallucinate.

“what do you mean?” i ask, genuinely confused.

he pauses for a second, almost like he is contemplating something, his mind and heart arguing with each other as they fight against acting rashly. i await his response, about to speak again, but i am stripped of the choice, feeling his warm lips quickly collide with mine.

i am stunned, unable to kiss back as i slowly process that his lips are on mine. but, i don’t pull away either, strangely liking it, feeling as if a part of me that has always been missing is finally fulfilled. after a few seconds, i feel tom try to pull away.

“i’m sorry, shit i-”

i cut off his rambling, swiftly reconnecting our lips once more, wrapping my hands around his neck and pulling him closer to me, his taking my waist and moving me so that i am now on top of him, not breaking the kiss. his lips mould perfectly with mine, fitting together as if they were always meant to be like this, moving against each other in sync.

everything is a blur, from him kissing down my body, our clothes being thrown carelessly on the floor, bodies moving against each other, both of us crying out in pleasure, to our release, the entire moment happening so fast that it seems like a dream, something i had made up as a result of my tired state.

“what the fuck? guys, come look at this.”

“did they not hate each other ten minutes ago?”

“oh my god! look at tom, i’ve never seen him hold a girl so close before.”

“jesus christ, are they naked? is that her bra?”

“thank god the sheets are on them, i don’t even wanna know what’s underneath.”

i begin to stir, the sound of muffled voices slowly waking me up, my eyes fluttering open. i am greeted by three boys at the foot of my bed, their eyes widened in shock, small giggles escaping their mouths. i look downwards, seeing that my clothes are gone, my body covered by the sheets. i turn to my side, tom fast asleep, his arms draped around my waist, body also bare with his torso on show, lower half thankfully covered, the memories of last night flooding back.

“did you have fun?” bill smirks, georg and gustav bursting into fits of laughter, the sudden noise waking tom up as he opens his eyes, seeing the situation in front of him, his hands scrambling for the sheets to fully cover us both.

“guys what the fuck? get out of here! leave!” he shouts, frantically waving his arms about, reaching for a pillow and throwing it at them as they rush out, making exaggerated kissing sounds until the door closes, both tom and i sighing in relief.

“assholes.” tom mutters under his breath, stretching before bringing my body closer to his, our legs tangled together.

“do you regret it?” he asks, his voice more serious now.

“what? of course not. do you?” i say, worried that he thinks it was a mistake, acting out on pure lust, using me for a quick fuck.

he laughs, watching the way my face drops.

“what’s so funny?” i ask, confused on how he can find my concern so hilarious.

“nothing, nothing. no- i don’t regret it either, why would i?” he says, gently stroking the bare skin of my waist, planting a short kiss on my forehead.

“and here i was thinking you hated me this whole time.” i laugh.

“how about i show you how i really feel again, hm?” he smirks, flipping us over so he is on top of me, placing open mouthed kisses to my jaw and neck as i squeal, my hands moving to his hair as he smiles against my skin.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

#tom kaulitz #kaulitz twins #tokiohotel #tom kaulitz angst #kaulitz #tom kaulitz fluff #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz x reader #tomkaulitz #bill kaulitz

466 notes · View notes

happeehippie · 24 days

Text

instagram j.b.

summary: follow along with joe and his fiancée evie as they go through his football career.

* face claim is yasmin quintana*

series masterlist.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 873,190 others

evie: did some cowgirl shit

view all 2,739 comments…

millyg: yee frickin haw

> evie: bitches 🤠

user: NO WAY IS IT HAPPENING????

user: i was hoping this thing would get called off

joeyb_9: guess i better saddle up.

> evie: i’m coming home to you cowboy. 😉

user: no wait this is so cute

user: not ev in her cowgirl era

> evie: i fear it may be permanent

user: i cannot comprehend that you guys are so in love your getting married….

> user: wym you can’t comprehend it?? they’ve been together for like 7 years and are clearly very happy?

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, bose, and 912,054 others

joeyb_9: locked in #TeamBose

view all 5,108 comments…

user: this hairstyle is the best

user: ev is so lucky

> evie: like it truly doesn’t get better than this.

user: this is giving major top gun vibes

evie: i’m locked in on you. 🤪💗

> joeyb_9: 🌽

user: yalllll this man!

used: if you need consoling after this tough season hit my line

> evie: aw. i might take you up on that offer

> user: if there’s one things ev is going to do it’s make sure errrrrbody know joe is HER man

> user: no like its giving *insecure*

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 910,002 others

evie: my mood for the foreseeable future..

view all 3,107 comments…

user: angel girl

user: she’s a stunnnnna

lahjay10_: if joe ain’t bring some of those cookies tomorrow we may have a problem

> evie: only the best for you jay

user: a ray of sunshine

joeyb_9: photo by me, socks from my closet, cookies homemade, your smile out of this world.

> evie: the man that you are…

user: i don’t know if im rooting for you or not

user: this doesn’t seem like lifestyles of the rich and famous

> evie: you’re looking in the wrong place for that content

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, evie, and 816,901 others

joeyb_9: my hands don’t look small here

view all 6,738 comments…

user: delete this my girl has ig

bengals: caption 🤌

user: you remember what them haters had to say

evie: let’s put them to good use. 😉

> user: EV! it’s too early to be spicy in the comments!

> user: nooo she’s getting some of that BDJ 🤣

user: i wasn’t prepared for this today

user: GOODNESS GRACIOUS

evie

liked by joeyb_9, bengals, and 520,091 others

evie: why is it always so cold in seattle?

view all 6,194 comments…

user: you’re giving pick me vibes

> evie: next time you’re looking for something to comment on, please, don’t pick me. (:

user: seattle is nice when it isn’t raining

user: period !!!

millyg: a moment for YOU 💗

> evie: i luv u.

user: these pics make seattle look bad

joeyb_9: the fit goes HARD

> evie: you can borrow it anytime 🤪

> joeyb_9: game day fit?

> evie: would def be top 5 of the season.

user: why are joe and ev always so goofy in the comments, and yall think they aren’t made for each other????

> user: no bc SAME! i don’t get why people think they aren’t a good fit. they’re obsessed with each other.

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 730,726 others

joeyb_9: Dark Knight

view all 5,720 comments…

user: that’s my QB

joemainmixon: 🐐

user: you ain’t him

user: WAKE UP JOE POSTED

lahjay10_: (TOP 2) DAM SURE AINT 2! 🐐

> evie: TELL EM JAY

user: smash

evie: i think i need a hero… 🥵

> joeyb_9: i’ll be your knight in black shoulder pads.

evie

liked by millyg, joeyb_9, and 820,092 others

evie: big week 😳

view all 5,118 comments…

user: my favorite wag

user: if y’all actually are getting married im sick.

user: are you going to share what’s happening?

user: you look STUNNING

user: wym??

user: not prepared for what’s about to go down. i have a feeling.

joeyb_9: 👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏼

> user: oh shit

user: not joe about to ruin his life if speculation is true

> user: wow everyone is supportive until you realize he really isn’t ever going to leave her for you. this is crazy behavior!

evie

liked by bengals, lahjay10_, and 1,737,026 others

evie: i think i like this little life.. 🤍

view all 15,829 comments…

millyg: and that’s MRS. Evangeline Burrow!

> user: not me just now finding out ev’s full name

> user: Evangeline??? Excuse me, that’s beautiful.

user: she doesn’t deserve it.

lahjay10_: we was TURNT TF UP!

user: i am sick with jealousy

bengals: The King and his Queen, congratulations!

user: only ring he will ever get but congrats

> user: marrying the love of your life is a bigger dub than the sb ever will be.

user: congrats!

sam_hubbard_: Finally!!

user: i knew it was coming and somehow i convinced myself he was smarter than this..

joeyb_9

liked by bengals, millyg, and 1,290,001 others

joeyb_9: Mr. & Mrs.

view all 8,628 comments…

lahjay10_: congratulations brudda!

user: most overrated player in the nfl

> user: bro can’t you let him enjoy his wedding?

user: congrats, now go get that other ring!

user: i give it a few months before they are done with each other.

> user: considering they’ve been together for almost a decade, i don’t see that happening

user: we all wish we were ev rn!

bengals: that’s our QB, you lucky boy!

user: another thing to distract him from winning the super bowl

user: not fair

millyg: i’m not crying, you are. jk i am crying. i’ve been crying all day.

user: he’s too famous for this, he will get sick of her.

evies ig stories:

#nfl #joe burrow #nfl imagine #bengals #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow insta au #joe burrow instagram

132 notes · View notes

gay4abby · 5 months

Note

Hey, request for Jordan Li:

So, what if Jordan's ex liked them better in their male/female form, and they got insecure because of it. Now they're dating reader, and that insecurity rises. So, the reader assures them that they're perfect in both forms. Smut or fluff?

Thanks.

I Like You in More Ways Than One !!

warnings, insecurities, fluff. SMUT (first time tell me how it was OK? OK!) pairings, jordan li x reader. don’t think this was my best but i really hoped u enjoyed lol

Relationships are a tricky path to follow. You’ll always have a piece of the person that came once before and although there are some that tend to learn how to live with it, there are others who simply hold on to those in the most degrading way possible. Relationships are our puzzle pieces and for a piece to go missing, it’s hard finding the right one that will fit into that vacant spot once more.

Jordan’s ex left a huge dent in them after their relationship ended. It felt like a farce most of the time, but Jordan wasn’t the kind of person to see their partner for who they really are. When they’re in a relationship, a partnership, all they ever see is a rose coloured world. Where everything their significant other does cannot and will not be impacted in a negative way. It’s why Jordan found themselves in situationships more often than an actual relationship nowadays.

Opening their eyes to the wrongs of what their ex put them through was like whiplash. How could they have been so clueless to the way they were treated. Jordan hadn't taken into account just how others acted around their ex, too. So, it was a breath of fresh air when you arrived into their life. Jordan didn't really know what to do or how to react to certain things. With their ex, it seemed as though everything was a problem and Jordan had to walk on eggshells around her.

Whenever she caught them in their female form, the attraction, the yearning (if you can even call it that) dissipated. She didn’t love all parts of them, having shown it one night at a party that Jordan did not attend. It broke them for weeks knowing it was all just a facade for her. That it showed Jordan wasn’t good enough for to even keep a girlfriend. And yet here they were, hopelessly devoted to you, letting their heart feel again and love again and be enthralled in the warmth of intimacy.

But no matter how much Jordan felt for you, there was always a shred of doubt that had them second guessing themselves over and over again. What if you never liked them in their female form? What if you’re just being nice and sparing their feelings because you know how sensitive they get? What if all this is a practical joke and you’re just waiting on the day for them to fuck up so you can finally leave?

Jordan was so stuck in their head sometimes, it was kind of infuriating but this is something they hide so well.

You both were supposed to meet up for a lunch date after your noon classes, but Jordan was nowhere to be found and it started to make you worry. None of your phone calls were being answered, texts left on delivered. You were going around in a twist trying to find them. “Hey, have you guys seen Jordan?” The blonde was the first to look up at you, a big grin spreading across her lips. “____, hey! No I haven’t. Everything good?” Cate asked, hand on your arm as she squeezed it gently. Andre was beside her, the shake of his head telling you he hasn’t seen them either.

“We were supposed to meet up for lunch. I just…I don’t know, this doesn’t happen. Usually they’ll tell me if they’re running late.” The worry was slowly settling into your chest as you emitted a shaky breath. Cate sensed your discomfort immediately and drew herself closer to you. Her hands were comforting, but it didn’t do much to settle the overwhelming feeling. You tried to calm yourself, being outside was a good distraction with the many things around you. “Okay. Okay, hey listen. I’ll help you find them.”

You nodded as you turned around with her to begin your search of Jordan, leaving Andre behind. “Yeah! I’ll just be here, not like I want to search for them too.” His words went off to deaf ears, both you and Cate recalling where Jordan was before you were supposed to meet.

You were going around in a twist. Jordan wasn’t in their dorm room, not in the canteen, the commons or the gym. You tried their phone several times and no answer. Cate was beginning to see just how stressed this was all making you, opting to split up so you both can cover more ground to find Jordan. Please just, fucking be okay. You thought to yourself as you did a 360 on the middle of campus to see if you’ll spot them. It didn’t click to you until minutes later that Jordan was hiding and their hiding place was somewhere that wasn’t quite easy to find.

But the both of you frequented there a lot when you just wanted to be in each other’s presence without anyone else interfering. You began your long trek up the woods to the very secluded clearing of the mountains behind the school. It was like a quiet pocket on Earth that was surrounded by water and trees that stretched for miles high. It was the one place that Jordan had found in order to collect themselves after any event that triggers them.

Being out of breath was not an issue for you, knowing every step and where to avoid placing your feet as you finally made it to the clearing. Your wide eyes laid on the very person you were worried about for the past two hours, your heart sinking as you heard them sniff several times.

“Baby…”

“Fuck! You scared me! What the fuck, what are you doing here?” Jordan, in their female form, got up quickly, wiping away the tears that were sliding down their plumped and redden cheeks. You quickly rushed over placing your hands over them as she looked at you with sorrow eyes. “You didn’t meet up with me for our lunch date, I was going crazy out of my mind wondering wheee you were.”

Jordan’s eyes softened once more before a wave of tears spilled from their brown eyes once more; your heart cracked looking at them in despair. What happened to make her feel this way? And why couldn’t she feel like she could talk to you? You wrapped your arms around her in a tight, warm hug, allowing her body to shake vigorously as they let out a wailing sob. You didn’t know what was going on and when you find out you were surely going to make whoever made Jordan cry pay.

“What’s going on, huh? Why’d you hide from me? Please tell me, did I do something? I can’t stand seeing you like this.” Jordan moved out of your hug, wiping at the snot that formed on your sweater and her nose. She shook her head, grabbing on to your hands to lead you to the rock they were sitting on to have you sit next to them. “It’s not you, trust me it’s never you.” It was a whisper that you almost didn’t catch. Thank you supersonic hearing!

Jordan’s hands found a home on the nape of your neck, your hand immediately placed over hers. You scanned their face, “Talk to me, lovebug.”

“I…uh…I saw my ex this morning. On accident. It wasn’t intentional.” The worry in your chest was replaced with a sizzling anger that was sure to grow into full on rage, “What did she do?”

“No. No she didn’t do anything. I didn’t even let her see me. I just…it just triggered me and I didn’t know what to do so I came here.

“Our relationship wasn’t the best. And I got flashbacks to it and I felt like it was bleeding into ours, but I was making it up in my head.” Jordan paused, squeezing your neck gently before continuing, “I never told you that she preferred me as a guy when we dated. She knew of my ability, but she didn’t take it so kindly whenever I would switch.” She laughed softly to make light of the situation, as if it was something comical to joke about. The expression on your face immediately changed hers back.

“I always just felt like arm candy to her, but I was so in love her, baby I kinda let that all go.” You sat listening to her as she rambled about her ex. Nothing angered you more than when Jordan was made to feel insecure and though you preferred them to just be them when you both were together, it didn’t stop the inkling feeling Jordan had in the back of their mind that you were just being nice about it. “I thought that you probably felt the same way. I don’t know…I don’t know why I thought that.”

You leaned forward to kiss them slowly. Jordan hummed softly as your lips caressed theirs, their hand sliding to your side to pull you closer. It went on for about three minutes before you both pulled away for some air. “Jordy…I don’t want you ever to feel that way with me. I don’t care at all, I care about you. You as in Jordan. The person who would always make sure they have an extra sweater in their gym bag for me. The one who knows my latte order like the back of their hand. The one who doesn’t care when I whine and complain constantly when I’m on my period and have taken over your entire room to self medicate,” you both giggled as you finished your sentence.

It was true, though. You didn’t care at all which form Jordan took as long as they were happy. Comfortable. “Your ex will begin to cough in six days and we can celebrate her death after that. But for now, I just want you to know that I love you. Jordan Li, the love of my life. Property Brothers fanatic. Comic book extraordinaire,” your hands made a home on their warm cheeks, thumb caressing the soft skin as you stared deep into their eyes. “I don’t want anyone else but you. Nobody but you.”

Jordan’s heart beat rapidly in their chest, leaning forward again to plant a steamy kiss on your lips. Nothing made them more sure about your relationship than this moment and all Jordan wanted to do was ravish you alive. “I love you.”

“I love you, so so much.” Your words were breathy, eyes immediately shutting as you laid them back against the rock to climb up over them. The kiss was deepening as you couldn’t help, but smirk a little as you planted your leg between their legs; Jordan lazily humping your thigh. Your hands were suddenly everywhere until you remembered Cate, “Oh my god! Wait! Before we continue I have to tell Cate I found you!”

You scrambled to get up only for Jordan to snatch your phone out of your hand and toss it into the unsettling lake before you. “Jordan!”

“I’ll get you a new one. I need you now.” That shut you right up as you both resumed kissing, this time with Jordan on top. You slid your hands underneath their sweater, moaning as you felt their breasts spill into your hands. Squeezing them brought out the nastiest moan to ever escape Jordan which you even more aroused than you were before. The lips smacking together made the noise echo through the open area, your leg finding its place back in between her legs.

They grind against your thigh, legs squeezing together to create more friction. You tweaked her nipples causing her to push her chest out more and her hand finding its place on the strands of your hair, tugging lightly. You whined softly, your left hand abandoning her soft mound to travel achingly slow towards the place she needed you most. Along with your thigh, your hand added more pressure to her clit, hips stuttering slowly. “Fuck, fuck please touch me. I want your fingers inside me,” she moaned against your lips.

You happily obliged, flipping her over to have her on her back. The rock wasn’t the most comfortable place to be doing this, but you both had major experience going at it on the same rock so they were used to the prickling along their back. Said the “pain’s tolerable knowing I’ll cum because of you.” You held it over their heads for a month. You brought your fingers to their lips, “Suck,” and Jordan being the good girl she is took both fingers into her mouth, wetting it as much as she can with her saliva.

“That’s a good girl,” she could’ve came right then and there if it wasn’t for the sudden intrusion of your fingers in her hole. Her back lifted into an arch, a loud moan echoing through the woods. Your fingers worked expertly as you lifted her sweater to wrap you warm lips around her nipple. Jordan’s moan sounded wet and strained, hands on your shoulders immediately squeezing them with her all might. You felt her squeezing the hell out of your fingers, dripping on to your palms, swirling your tongue around the now perky, hardened nipple.

Pumping your fingers in and out of her while circling your thumb on her clit was driving her mad. She has started panting, short breaths as her legs squeezed around your hand once more. “Come on, you can do it for me, baby. Just let go.” That one little command had her spilling all over your hand, humping your hand as you continued to pump your fingers in and out of her as she came. You rode out her orgasm long enough for her to begin pulling your hand out of her pants to get some reprieve.

“Hm, fuck,” Jordan breathed out. You lifted your wet fingers to your mouth to lick off her juices from them. You moaned, sliding your tongue between them to get every last bit that hung off of them. She watched you with cloudy eyes and a gapped mouth and swore she couldn’t fall for you more than she did in that moment. “Don’t ever think I don’t want you, you hear me?”

“Yes. Yes. Fuck yes, I’ll never think that again.”

“That’s my girl.”

#jordan li x reader #jordan li #jordan li x gn!reader #jordan li x you #gen v jordan #‹𝟥 requests

279 notes · View notes

loolingz · 1 year

Note

i can’t stop thinking about riding sae’s thighs >x<

his THIGHS!!! need them asap...... hes my babygirl did yk that ❗❓

nsfw — a little thing where u ride sae's thighs, semi public <3

compared to when you first met him, he’s bolder than you would have expected.

sure, he always had this bluntness about him. it was evident from the moment he had asked for your number upon your initial meeting. and followed that up by asking if you were free sometime next afternoon. but he was quiet. he liked his soccer, goals only he could score. he liked his peace, with just the right amount of quiet that only you seemed to provide. whenever you spotted him at the library, or at a store, he was always modestly dressed as he kept to himself in a corner of the room.

he was unlike any guy you had ever had the honor of meeting in all your years growing up. so how did he reveal to you that he was one of the most famous soccer players? that’s a story for another day. and just how did you become the secret darling no one must know of? a similar, yet longer story. but alas, for another day. but then... how did you end up here? in this position? with so many around?

it’s a story you could tell.

“ w-wait, sae!”

if only he would let you have your thoughts back.

“ shh. there is no need to worry,” sae's cold yet heartwarming laugh fills your ears. on most occasions, you would have found the sound to be sweet. a comforting melody that only your fiance could bring. but there’s no room for comfort. there’s no room for sweet. because while the look on his face may be warm and so lovely, you can’t help but think with your burning cheeks and your growing embarrassment and arousal that he is neither warm nor lovely in this moment. but rather- far too adventurous than what you’re used to. “no one will notice.”

“ b-but … sae… ”

ah, but that’s the thing.

“enjoy yourself, my dear. Let me make you feel good. no one will know .”

you know . and you know that this is something you could only dream about. at least, before him.

wandering eyes are a possibility, even if he promises you that they wouldn’t. and traveling sounds always have a chance when it comes to those with ears most keen. but being seen and being heard- that’s not what makes your head spin. at least, not all that makes your head spin. because there’s something that weighs heavier on your chest as everything happens. something that you know with all your heart and your soul that you cannot bear alone. something you have to ask sae to take care of for you because you know you just can’t.

you used to think he was like you. but you know that’s not it. and could he be? with his hands rolled over your bare skin, traveling up your thighs and under your dress as he pulled you closer to him while he sat in the middle of his rubble-filled hideout. and those long fingers of his- they found their home in all the dips and crevices and curves of your skin with gentle touches laced with lust. and it scares you how quickly he’s able to get you to step out of your panties despite his fellow teammates just mere feet away. almost as much as it terrifies you just how badly you desired to feel his leg between yours in that moment. almost as much as it horrified you when you realized that feeling?

It wasn’t enough.

So you wrapped your arms around his shoulder and you buried your head in his chest. And that’s where it remains in these moments as those long fingers circle your waist and roll your hips along his thigh. It’s an odd feeling, that you can’t say you’ve gotten used to even after all these times. It’s different from your own fingers that you resorted to using when the nights were tough and lonely before you met him. And even more different than the toys you resorted to buying when all you could think about was him. And somehow- you would call this better in the worst ways.

the brushes of the fabric of his silky pants against your sensitive clit never fails to send small jolts of pleasure up and down your body. a position that should have been so awkward and unenjoyable ends up making you feel so hot . so bothered and so needy. it’s as if the thought of making a wet little mess of his clothes turns you on. It’s as if the feeling of having your movements controlled so subtly in order to receive your pleasure makes you aroused. it’s as humping your fiance’s thigh like the little whore you never knew yourself to be while all his teammates are in the other room- it’s like it makes you feel alive . finally, fully, and completely alive.

and you just don’t know what to do with this feeling. You don’t know what to do with it at all.

his soft, black winter coat soaks up your quiet moans and for that you’re thankful. if it weren’t for his coat or the presence of people, you knew he would have wanted you louder. as loud as you could get for as long he could get you. but for now, he’ll accept your sharp breaths and your tiny whimpers as the muscles underneath you flex in a way that somehow manages to go directly to your clit. And he’ll continue to guide you into grinding into him as he leans in and steals a kiss or two or three from your now-swollen lips. perhaps even a fourth one, now that you keep looking at him with that dazed expression of yours.

but that will come later. for now, his forehead will rest against yours and his eyes will peer into your own. and to the outside world, you would hope that the gesture looks innocent. that the gesture looks adoring. lovely. sweet. comforting, even. but to you both, the truth couldn’t be farther away. it couldn’t be more daring. more secretive and hidden. at least, you’d like to think that. though it’s not quite easy now that sae's pace with your hips is starting to grow faster, and you’re starting to get just a tad bit louder. but you’re sure it will be fine. sae will take care of it. your fiance will find a way to make everything work out. the eyes that may wander. the ears that may hear. all of it. he’ll even handle the scent of sex starting to waft through the air. just like he seems to be handling that extremely familiar pit growing in your stomach a little too well. after all, it’s just like he once told you:

Fortune seems to favor the bold .

#sae itoshi #sae itoshi smut #bllk smut #x reader #sae x reader #itoshi sae #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae smut #blue lock #bllk #blue lock smut #smut #loolingz #itoshi brothers #blue lock itoshi sae #sae itoshi x reader

1K notes · View notes

soobnny · 1 year

Text

practice makes perfect — hwang hyunjin.

trope. best friends to lovers. fluff. just kissing.

synopsis. hyunjin stresses how important it is that you help him practice for his role in your university’s upcoming play, especially the kissing scene.

word count. 2.1k words

warnings. hyunjin overthinks for a moment in the beginning. nothing else.

note. hello hi, i’ll be busy with exams in a few days so i thought to post something before i disappear for around a week !! please enjoy :) oh n u can still send an ask to be added in my skz permanent taglist!

Hyunjin’s falling, straight into the fire, because now, the harsh pull of pressure is weighing him down — sitting on his shoulders and refusing to budge from its place.

When he had decided to audition for your university’s upcoming play, it had been something of mere fun — a passion he was (unseriously) pursuing. It’s not like he had time anyway, he had a lot of deadlines that were way on top of his priority list for him to be participating in something that would for sure take up hours of his days. Hours that he needed.

It just so happens that he likes the play, and knew a song or two to participate in the auditions. It wouldn’t hurt to try out for extra credit, right?

When he got news of his acceptance, Hyunjin was a little conflicted, but grateful for the opportunity. He does enjoy performing, and if his acceptance letter to play the main role in their musical wasn’t enough of a sign for him to maybe start pursuing it seriously, he doesn’t know what else could push him. Besides, he has been thinking about it for a while. Maybe it was okay to sacrifice a bit of his hours.

So, he was ecstatic, to say the least.

But now, seated on his bed at nine in the evening with the script in his hand, he’s starting to regret his decision. What if he wasn’t good enough for the role? What if acting has never been made for him, and he was right to treat it as a silly hobby?

Hyunjin’s thinking, I could’ve really used this time to start that artwork for my midterm project.

It’s nine in the evening and he’s preoccupied in his own thoughts. It’s obvious when Hyunjin’s nervous — you’ve known him for so long to consider yourself an expert in his not so subtle ticks. The light tapping of his feet, the constant running of his hand through his hair, the fiddling of his fingers and flipping of the pages without a single thought behind his eyes.

So, you swallow the thick air. Your heart physically cannot take the sight of him looking genuinely terrified and conflicted.

“What’s wrong?”

His head peps up at the sound of your voice, his smile a little too tight lipped for your liking as he shakes his head in response to your question. “Nothing’s wrong.”

And yet he doesn’t stop fidgeting his hands on his lap. You know him too well to not be able to notice.

“Cmon, you know you can be honest with me.”

With a humourless laugh, he sighs and takes your hand in his. He finds that holding your hand has always calmed him down.

Something in the way your hand feels, touching the palm of his makes him feel that the entire world is at his fingertips, and he can conquer just about anything. It’s become a habit for Hyunjin to call you backstage just before a performance so he can spend the time holding your hand, or when he’s about to submit an artwork.

Hyunjin still remembers how you held his hand for the first time, and how he spent everyday after that memorizing the feeling of your hand tightly intertwined in his.

“Are you second guessing yourself?” When he snags his bottom lip between his teeth in response to your question, you know you’ve hit the nail.

Hyunjin has always hated admitting his insecurities and was thankful you always understood without him having to tell you.

Without missing a beat, you lace your fingers with his and tug slightly to get his attention. He maintains contact with your hand, his nervousness speaking without words as he rubs his thumb in small circles against the back of your hand.

“Jinnie, you can do it. You know, I really wish you could see what I see. Talent and success surrounds you and encompasses the entirety of your life. And I will spend the rest of my fucking life reminding you that you’re so worthy and capable of becoming who you want to be.”

He lets out an airy laugh, his free hand balling up a fist to punch your shoulder gently.

You know he gets the message, though, when he brings your intertwined hands up to his lips and places sweet, grateful kisses on the back of your hand and a small ‘thank you’ is mumbled in between.

He’s really grateful to have you, he thinks. And it amazes him how the one thing that means the world to him fits in the palm of his hand in this moment.

“Okay, now let’s memorize these lines, yeah? Practice makes perfect.”

He whines when you let go of his hand, but swallows it down anyways. You were right, he did need to practice, and there’s still time to hold your hand later and tomorrow and the day after that. So, he nods, getting back up to his feet, script in one hand and the other motioning for you to get up too. You confusingly follow.

Hyunjin grins brightly as he rummages through his school bag before shoving an extra copy of the script in your direction. Before you get the chance to ask, he’s already nagging at you — “You have to help me rehearse now. No take backs.”

You turn to shake your head, but fuck, it’s so hard to say no to Hyunjin when he’s standing so impossibly close you get an HD view of the stars in his irises and the crinkles at the corner of his eyes and the way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks. Why did he have to look at you like that? How come you’ve forgotten how to say ‘no’?

“Please? Because you believe in me, and being alongside you makes me believe that I can do it too. And because I’m your best friend who’s doubting himself?”

“Fuck you.”

He knows it’s a joke when you begrudgingly grab the script he’s offering you, flipping through the pages to mirror the one he’s on.

“You better treat me to so much food after this. I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night.”

“You’re my person, did you know?” A smile pulls at his eyes, pulling you in for an embrace and staying there for a moment. “I know, and you’re mine too. Now shut up so we can get this over with, and you can buy me my food.”

It was only supposed to be a quick run-through of the script, at least you thought it would. And yet two hours later, you’re still standing with him, going through every single detail and aiding him in which emotions would perfectly fit with the dialogue.

Hyunjin’s a perfectionist.

He’s analyzing every body movement, ever line, every intonation in his voice. His overenthusiastic energy and burning passion for his craft masks the concave of your undereye and is enough for you to keep going.

It’s not everyday Hyunjin feels this much inspiration, and you were determined to be there with him through it. You know how hard it is for inspiration and motivation to spark. It’s there, and then it’s not.

But in the moment, inspiration is burning bright and you don’t want it to go away. He doesn’t deserve to feel terrified.

Besides, the part you’re playing and the lines you’re being ordered to say gives you the perfect excuse to look at him a little longer than friends do. It allows you the experience of what it must be like to be in a requited love with the boy. For once, you’re not scared to look at him like you always do when he’s looking away.

You just have to make sure your actual emotions don’t bleed through the character you’re pretending to be.

Hyunjin brings a hand up to his face, dragging his palm down his cheek as he gets deep in thought again — a phenomenon that has been so rampant for the past few hours you’ve been working on the script together. It usually happens in between scenes, when he’s thinking about something. Like how to improve, what to do to make it better, how to connect with the audience.

Fuck, even the sight of his frustration has you thinking, he’s art embodied into a young boy.

“We should do the last part. I think that’s what we’re missing, why the scene feels so… lacking.”

You don’t even have to look at the script to know what he was talking about. It was a stupid idea, and you knew it. It was the one specific part the two of you awkwardly glossed over and skipped while running through the scenes. The thought makes your heartbeat quicken.

All you can do is nod at him. Your voice feels too betraying to attempt to even say anything. You can’t bring yourself to refuse when he’s standing so close to you and he’s licking his lips at the thought of kissing you under the pretense of practicing. It’s not like you haven’t thought about kissing the boy before.

Maybe a kiss would finally help you move on?

(That’s complete bullshit, and you know it.)

“Okay, let’s do this.” He’s smiling a little too happy compared to the smile you’re used to, tossing both of your scripts aside and urging you to get into character.

You fail to hear his heartbeat drumming through his chest and the warmth creeping up from his neck to the tip of his ears and the way he has to bite down at his lips to stop himself from smiling too much.

The scene runs so smoothly between the two of you — the chemistry so clear and undeniable as you spoke each line. When the dreaded “last part” neared, you were sure he would back down last minute due to the awkwardness it might elicit from the two of you.

And yet, he continues, stepping closer.

One step. Then another. He’s grabbing your arm gently to pull you into his chest. A line is spoken, and then another step. His hand finds home in your face rather quickly. The last line. And just like that, he kisses you.

And although the scene called for a short, sweet kiss — his goes on for a while. His lips meet yours in a slow burn of longing, and you can hear your heartbeat pounding through your ears as you kiss him back. His lips are chapped but soft, and the way his hand caresses your cheek takes precedent in your mind.

There’s a sound creeping up from his throat but he forces it down, his other hand finding home on your face so that he’s holding the sides of your head.

A thrill runs down your spine.

“And cut.”

He whispers, looking down at you with the most boyish smile playing on his lips, end of his ears overwhelmingly red as he blinks at you with his glittering eyes and long lashes.

You clear your throat, chuckling nervously at your best friend. You don’t think you can think of proper words especially when you’re still basking in the way his lips felt against yours, so you refrain from talking about it. There hasn’t been a time when your words have ever helped you around the boy, so why should they now?

You know yourself too well to understand this is the perfect moment for you to self-sabotage. You know that if he stares at you for one second longer, you’ll trash the pretty lines written in the script and confess how you’ve loved Hwang Hyunjin for years now, and you don’t think you’ll ever stop loving him.

“Alright, now that that’s done, let’s get the food I was promised?” You smile nervously, breaking eye contact and patting his arm to motion for him to pack up so you can get your snacks.

Although, that’s really the last thing on your mind right now. You’re still stuck on the feeling of his lips pressed against yours and how gentle he held your face and the way he tilted his head to deepen the kiss and the stupid way he looked at you when he pulled away.

“I don’t know… I think we should go through it a couple more times. Practice makes perfect, you were the one who said that, right?”

That night, you kissed each other a total of eight times — all in the excuse of perfecting the scene and establishing the chemistry and relationship of the characters you were ‘playing’. It doesn’t matter that both of your feelings are bleeding through, and each kiss always lasts a little longer after the other, right?

You make plans to come by his house the same time the next day and repeat.

Afterall, practice does make perfect.

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hypnos333 · 4 months

Text

Changing Fate

Eros x Goddess reader

Synopsis: Fate had it easy for you as you were a goddess of fate until you got in the away with another’s fate

You were the daughter of Hera and Zeus, you were the third born after Ares and Hephaestus. Of course your parents adores you especially your mother. Being the goddess of Fate was easy then one, two, and three.

You were as beautiful as Aphrodite but you were no goddess of beauty.

“U-Uhm ___?” Eros called out holding your golden paged journal.

“Oh my Zeus! Thank you so much Eros” You said excitedly holding the book with delicacy. His wings flutter in shyness.

“Of course my cupid” He said back making you blush before hold the journal close to you.

“I should be calling you that Cupid” You flirted back making him blush again. He always haded feelings for you and since you lost your fate book you didn’t see that his fate now changed.

“So what should I call you? Oh! How about my love?” he asked excitedly making me agree instantly

“Whatever you like my cupid but right now I have to do my job” you said your goodbye. “Bye my love” Eros said back dreamily making you giggle as you turn back to your mansion.

You reread the journal to make sure everything was in shape in normal but it wasn’t….

See with the journal you can see everyone’s fate even gods or goddesses with Eros it holds a sparkling pink thread around his fate. It’s fading…. And not for the right reasons it should.

Eros fate is about love…

A king and queen has three daughters, all three of the girls are attractive but one of them is absolutely gorgeous- Phyche was her name. People would come all over to check out how beautiful she was. neglecting the proper worship of Aphrodite, instead prayed and made offerings to her. It was rumored that she was the second coming of Venus, or the daughter of Venus from an unseemly union between the goddess and a mortal. Venus is offended, and commissions Cupid to work her revenge. Cupid is sent to shoot Psyche with an arrow so that she may fall in love with something hideous. He instead scratches himself with his own dart, which makes any living thing fall in love with the first thing it sees. Consequently, he falls deeply in love with Psyche and disobeys his mother's order. Although her two humanly beautiful sisters have married, the idolized Psyche has yet to find love. Her father suspects that they have incurred the wrath of the gods, and consults the oracle of Apollo. The response is unsettling: the king is to expect not a human son-in-law, but rather a dragon-like creature The transported girl awakes to find herself at the edge of a cultivated grove. Exploring, she finds a marvelous house with golden columns, a carved ceiling of citrus wood and ivory, silver walls embossed with wild and domesticated animals, and jeweled mosaic floors. A disembodied voice tells her to make herself comfortable, and she is entertained at a feast that serves itself and by singing to an invisible lyre. Although fearful and without the proper experience, she allows herself to be guided to a bedroom where, in the darkness, a being she cannot see has sex with her. She gradually learns to look forward to his visits, though he always departs before sunrise and forbids her to look upon him. Soon, she becomes pregnant.

One night after Cupid falls asleep, Psyche carries out the plan her sisters devised: she brings out a dagger and a lamp she had hidden in the room, in order to see and kill the monster. But when the light instead reveals the most beautiful creature she has ever seen, she is so startled that she wounds herself on one of the arrows in Cupid's cast-aside quiver. Struck with a feverish passion, she spills hot oil from the lamp and wakes him. He flees, and though she tries to pursue, he flies away and leaves her on the bank of a river.

The rest of his fate was faded

You stood there shocked, this never happened before… this should’ve never happened. Why is it fading?

The ink was supposed to stay as it should so why is his fate changing?

You couldn’t say that you were glad his fate was changing, you were falling for the cupid after all but that did not mean he couldn’t be happy.

All she could do was watch the ink disappear like his fate was never there, and hope a new fate can appear for him. You slammed the book shut and rush to make sure Eros was safe.

When you saw him getting an apple from a tree you immediately rushed to him with a hug. Eros almost fell from the rush of someone.

“Woah My love, are you alright?” he asked gently not wanting to trigger you.

You put your hands on his cheek to make sure he has no injuries. “Of course, Are you okay?” you asked worriedly.

“Yeah? ___ we saw each other ten minutes ago, what’s wrong?” he asked making you hesitate on the question it’s self. It’s not like you can hide his dying fate from him but know something could be wrong is killing you.

“Y-Your fate changed and I couldn’t do anything about it and I thought something was wrong” You admitted making him nod.

“My fate with a human girl?” he asked making you instantly nod.

“Yeah a-and wait how did you know?” You asked making him chuckle awkwardly before clearing his throat to explain.

“W-Well I look in the journal and saw how my fate went and honestly I don’t want that to happen because ___ goddess of fate i’m in love with you” He confessed making you blush in shyness.

“W-What?” You whispered.

“I got approval from you family especially Ares and Zeus even though they’re scary as hell but I was willing to do it for you and I have been falling for you for decades but you were to busy in your work” He explained

“Well Eros of love and sex I will happily be yours” You said making him spin you around in joy.

“I’ll definitely make you the most happiest goddess in this earth my love” he stated making you hum as you leaned in as you both kissed passionately.

#greek mythology #greek myth x reader #Eros x reader #greek mythology x reader

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h4rring1on · 1 year

Note

could u do eddie and reader being enemies but readers had a crush on him for a while now and she accidentally calls eddie on the phone and talks about why she likes eddie 😭

pairing: eddie munson x reader

warnings: swearing, thats it but please tell me if i missed something!

eddie munson.

god, no words can explain how much you hate that name, especially because it belonged to someone even worse.

it belonged to the most annoying, hated, nerve wrecking asshole. you hated eddie with your whole entire being.

ever since he made fun of your pigtails when you were 8, you declared him your mortal enemy. he never changed since then, always making fun of you, always teasing you, getting on your last nerve.

you hated him so much. you never understood how people seemed to like him, or think he was cute!

like what?! him? cute?! no! impossible. he’s so annoying and a demon from hell!

but god was he cute.

you would never admit to him, but he’s really cute. even though he’s an asshole, he made your heart flutter, he was sweet to you when you genuinely didn’t want to deal with his shit.

why! how dare he make you feel this way! it was frustrating you so much, you hated him, but somehow loved him

after a long while of keeping quiet, you had enough. you needed to tell someone, so why not tell chrissy, she can keep a secret

when you came home from school that day, you called chrissy right away

“hey! before you say anything, i need to tell you something. okay here it goes—oh my god. this is so annoying! you’re right, chrissy, okay? i admit it! i hate eddie, so fucking much! well, hated. oh my god i can’t believe this, why is this happening to me?! why did the universe make me fall in love with the worst person on earth! i’m sick of him, he’s so annoying! why does he have to be so cute? and so—ugh! i love him, chrissy. why do i have to love him? he’s always a prick, and now he chooses to make me love him?! what’s wrong with him! god i hate him! but i love him…but i hate him!” you said, and proceeded to scream into your pillow in frustration

you were met with silence

“…you done?”

your eyes widened, and you froze, that wasn’t what chrissy sounded like. that sound—that voice, its manly—it’s annoying—its…

no. NO. NO NO NO

you quickly hung up the phone, and sat there in shock, you cannot believe this. how is this happening?! how did you call eddie instead of chrissy!

you spent the rest of the day contemplating every single life decision you made

should you even go to school tomorrow?

should you even go back to school ever?

how are you gonna see him like you didn’t just say all that to him?

this might be the most embarrassing moment of your life

after dinner, you sat in your room, not even being able to close your eyes for five seconds without remembering it again. then you suddenly heard rocks at your window

hesitantly, you got up and opened the window, your eyes widening

“couldn’t get rid of me that easy” eddie said with a smirk of his face

“what are you doing here!” you whisper yelled

“you gonna let me come in, sweetheart?”

and there he was, standing in your bedroom, a shit eating grin on his face as he looked at you

“great talk on the phone today, by the way” he teased

you groaned and fell on your bed, screaming into your pillow with eddie chuckling in the background

“please go away” you said, too ashamed to look at his face

“oh come on” he said, “don’t you wanna talk to the worst person on earth, who you love?”

you groaned again

“alright, guess i’ll have to save my confession for another day”

you sat up, “confession?”

“lets say what you said may or may not be what i feel as well” he said, and you sat there in shock, “hmm, but i’ve been told to go away so” he said as he began climbing out the window, but you quickly pulled him back, pulling a little too hard, making you fall back, forgetting how strong eddie is

eddie was quick to grab you, “careful, sweets” he said as he looked into your eyes

“did you—do you really mean what you said?” you asked

“ ‘course, doll. you’re like the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen, you’re kind of sweet sometimes, you somehow take care of me even when i make your life a living hell? you’re smart, you’re beautiful and perfect…you think i was acting normal when i was hearing you talk about me? got me squealing like a little girl, babe”

you couldn’t help but smile at his words, the two of you leaned in, and shared a soft kiss. all the hatred, all the frustration, it all went away as soon as your lips touched his

once you pulled away, you two stared into each others eyes

“you’re mine now, things are about to get much worse im telling you” he said, making you chuckle

“been dealing with it for long enough, don’t care anymore” you said, as you kissed him again

#stranger things 4 #stranger things x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie my love <3

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youngyoo-apologist · 14 days

Text

OG Choi Han they could never make me hate you cause if some random rich boy was yelling at me and telling me my family deserved to die like a day after it happened and all I wanted was to know how I could get help I’d beat him up too

This plus the added fact that the Harris Village people were the first people to take Choi Han in and take care of him after years and years in the dark forest. Like he’s obviously not going to be mentally stable after all that, and he was so young when everything happened to him like I cannot blame him at all. I don’t think I can ever hate OG Choi Han like ever, he’s flawed, he has problems, but I love him dearly. He deserves the world. This kid who had to fight for his life, was taken away from his family, and in the process had to give up parts of his own humanity to survive, and like went to war two years later, they could never make me hate u OG Choi Han…

Like yeah violence is bad I guess but OG Cale had it coming(saying this as an OG Cale fan, I love him, but he was mean as hell when he was younger!)

If I’m honest, I think they were both in the wrong to an extent. Like OG Cale shouldn’t have said all that no matter the circumstances, and OG Choi Han shouldn’t have beaten him up so much. But u say mean shit and you get hit, that is how it will work when you’re talking to the guy who just saw his entire village get murdered like idkkkk man

I understand where OG Cale was coming from, but he had many issues and while he wasn’t an awful person, he was capable of doing bad things because of his own internalized pain and emotions that he never got to properly process because of his emotionally distant childhood and relationship with his father who should have been there for him more when he was younger.

Okay speaking of his childhood, Deruth isn’t the WORST father in the world but there are a lot of things he could have done better. I think a lot of Deruth’s flaws come from his fear of failure and messing up. He’s scared of doing the wrong thing, and so he sticks to doing what he knows and using what he knows best. That’s why he uses his money, that’s why gift giving is his way of showing affection, he knows that it is one thing he cannot mess up.

The problem is that money and gifts is NOT what OG Cale needed. I think what that guy needed the most was a parent who wasn’t afraid to talk to him, to ask him questions. Not to say that Deruth gave up on OG Cale, but I think in a way he gave up on OG Cale by giving up on himself. Deruth didn’t trust himself to have the capabilities to talk to OG Cale, which is why he never did. It’s because that Deruth was scared, and didn’t trust himself, that he could never face OG Cale

If Deruth was able to trust himself a little more, and pull himself together, I don’t think OG Cale would have turned out the way he did. As a kid, he probably thought the only way he could help his family without relying on anyone(no doubt this whole ‘I have to do it myself’ thing came from the fact that he couldn’t rely on his father when his mom died, and instead was acting as a pillar of support for his father when it should have been the other way around) was to sabotage himself, the only heir. If he was shown to be unfit to be heir, then everyone else would have no choice but to direct their hatred towards him instead of his family.

If Deruth had talked to his son at least ONCE when he was a kid, asking him why he was upset or why he did the things he did, I think OG Cale would have told him. Why? Because he’s a kid!! A kid will obviously want to rely on his father, if he just had one sign telling him that he didn’t have to do it alone I’m 90% sure OG Cale would have said something.

Basically, while Deruth isn’t the worst father, he’s not really a great father either. I think he does do his best, but he has issues with communication lol

OG Cale and OG Choi Han are both complex characters and had their own reasons to behave the way they did. The thing is with people is that they’re complicated and have layers, so the situation with them would have layers behind it as well with multiple co-existing truths and stuff

#guys I’m a big fan of Choi Han #and I get sad when people bring up this scene and all the blame is on him #like okay he was wrong but if YOU saw your entire family dead and some random rich boy started yelling abt how their lives were worthless #you’d be mad too no?#like his feelinsg were totally justified cause OG Cale was REALLY mean in that scene #‘their lives are worth less than the bottle in my hand’ OHHHHH OKAY OG CALE THATS ENOUGH THATS ENOUGHHHH #I love OG Cale but u have to admit he wasn’t very nice when he was younger #like the statements ‘he had his reasons’ ‘being trash was an act’ ‘he wasn’t a bad person’ ‘but he did say bad things’ can co exist #yes being trash was an act but he is ALSO capable of saying mean things and things that are wrong #LIKE TELLING THE GUY WHO JUST GOT HIS FAMILY MURDERED THAT THEIR LIVES WERE WORTHLESS #HE WAS NOT INNOCENT FOR THAT #Younger OG Cale is not a black and white character #and neither is older OG Cale but this post isn’t abt him #okay I’m gonna bring up someone who isn’t from TCF #but take Eunyung Baek from no home as an example okay #eunyung did bad things and was a bad person because of his childhood right #the reasons to being a bad person do not take away the bad things he did #but just cause he did bad things and was capable of them did not mean he could not change #I love OG Cale a LOT and I just think that his character has a lot behind it #Older OG Cale is obviously very different from his younger self #years and years of war and tragedy have matured him and like he’s not the same person he was anymore #okay back to Choi Han I love that guy I will defend him with my life #beating up people is wrong yeah but with the circumstances I’d say OG Cale had it coming #like okay it would be different if it was unprovoked but it was very much provoked #I swear I love OG Cale I just think he was very wrong for that #not to say he can’t change or isn’t capable of change he definitely is #idk I guess my point is that OG Cale was wrong but he changed as a person #and OG Choi Han was wrong for beating him up so much but it wasn’t unjustifiable #tcf #lcf

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pixiecaps · 10 months

Text

so here r my thoughts on qjaiden and her cucurucho missions

i don’t think its going to lead to egg safety. to me the “YOU ARE ONE STEP CLOSER” really was the nail in the coffin. theres something about going through such a treacherous process having to fight in a dungeon presumably you were meant to do alone and probably would’ve died in if u had only to be told good job! thats just one step! and then provide no more context over any of it. it’s suspicious and shitty. i mean even qjaiden was surprised that wasn’t the end of it. to me, at least in this current moment, cucurucho is using jaiden and her trust & faith in it (there is more layers to her willingness to follow along. it’s not as simple as qjaiden being naive) to send her along to do its dirty work. i think it’ll keep sending her to do menial or intense work (like that dungeon we witnessed yesterday) to achieve an end goal. an end goal that favors the federation. i think everything comes with a price and as we know qjaiden cannot go back. theres no way out and shes aware of this. all she can do is continue to do whatever cucurucho tells her to do. what i do find interesting is the ending questions. what purpose do they serve? did it ask qjaiden these first before anybody else because it feels she trusts it the most? are the questions a way to have further control over her? in either case it’s fascinating to watch cucurucho and qjaiden dynamic. i think her journey is going to one of the most illuminating ones i mean look at how much qcellbit learned just by tagging along (for his own mission) i do think by the end of everything qjaiden will either be discarded and never granted her wish for egg safety or maybe they do but it comes at a cost, a cost of joining the federation and never seeing her friends and family again.

out of role i think shes a very complex character and i cannot wait to see where this takes her. its cool to see a woman at the forefront of such important lore! its also lore i’m invested the most in because we learn more about the federation and get to see cucurucho which is awesome! i also love how at the end of each stream we get a neat recap and jaidens thoughts on everything. i always think back to when bobby passed and jaiden said she was going to cook up an interesting character for us and by god did she do that. overall i can’t wait to see what happens and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t want to see qjaiden in a white federation uniform some day.

#behold my thoughts and opinions #feel free to add on or discuss some of ur own if u want #qsmp

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aanoia · 8 months

Note

Can I also have pancakes for dinner with James 🥺🥺

Ofc anything for u bae <3

Pancakes for Dinner

James Potter x reader words; 1,859 song; Pancakes for Dinner by Lizzy McAlpine warnings; heavy anxiety omg, plane crash-ish? yall let me tell you. i had such a scare, my mom had to call an ambulance and go to the hospital and i fr have watched too much greys anatomy bc my first thought was oh she's gonna die. like ik how simple freaking back procedures can result in becoming brain dead. is that crazy? doesn't matter bc shes okay now :) if you love a song, the marauders, and my writing, request a song fic and your wish shall be my command. bold is the letter, and yes the lyrics are the letter partly :) ENJOY

Don't wanna be forward

Don't wanna cross a line

“I can’t believe you’re leaving!” Lily whined, wrapping her arms around my waist tightly.

“I’ll be gone for two weeks, Lils.” I said with a soft smile.

“Two weeks is a lot, I agree with Lily.” Sirius said, walking up to us and giving me a hug as well. “I’ll miss you, I guess.” He teased and I pinched his arm before locking eyes with my best friend, James Potter.

We said nothing as he threw his arms around me, “Only two weeks?”

I nodded, “Only two.”

But if I were to crash in this plane tonight

I'd want you to know this

“What happened?” I asked my mom as we were heading towards our gate in the airport.

“Apparently a plane going out malfunctioned and crashed to the ground. Thankfully they hadn’t gotten very high up in the air so everyone survived, but that’s still scary.” She explained and my breath hitched.

“How much time do we have until we need to board?”

“Two hours, your dad wanted to be early.”

I nodded as she sat down on the waiting chairs, “I’m gonna go to the desk over there, is that okay?” She nodded as she pulled out her book and began reading.

Don't wanna say too much

Intrude on your space

I pondered for a minute, an empty piece of paper in front of me and a muggle pen I stole from our hotel in my hand. I didn't want to be too forward about my feelings to James, but I didn’t want to get in a crash and not be able to say them at all. Better safe than sorry?

Don't wanna say too much

Intrude on your space

Dear James,

I’d like to start this letter off by saying a plane leaving the airport, not even two hours before mine, has gone down. As far as I know, there were no fatalities. The plane wasn’t high enough in the air to do any fatal damage to anyone once it went down. It does not, however, relieve the fear I feel boarding a plane, instead it only adds fuel to the fire.

Oh, and to tell you is too scary

So I'll just say something else

I need to confess my secrets to you, in case something happens and I can’t anymore. This scares me more than the chance of a plane crash does, but I can’t die without you knowing. I’ll be using a special method of getting this letter to you, so you receive it almost the moment I send it. That is, if Dumbledore taught it to me well.

And I wish that you could hear me

When I talk to myself

You’re my best friend, you’re the most important thing ever to me. You make all the bad feel okay, and the good feel even better. You’re always there for me, whether I’m being an absolute bitch to you or sobbing my eyes out, you’re right there with me. You mean the world to me, James. But I cannot stand the term best friend. Everytime you say it, it's like a punch in the gut.

But this plane might not land safely

So, what the hell do I have to lose

If I just tell you?

I need you to know, James, that-

I wanna eat pancakes for dinner

I wanna get stuck in your head

“James, a letter is on the table for you. I believe it’s from Y/n!” James’ mother called and he raced down the stairs.

“Y/n sent a letter?” He asked, his eyes flitting to the table and landing on a white envelope. He smiled excitedly and grabbed the letter, ripping it open and reading the words.

I wanna watch a T.V. show together

And when we're under the weather we can watch it in bed

His smile dropped as he read about the crash, immediate worry filling his body as a pit settled in his stomach. His throat closed up, as if he was about to cry and he shook his head.

“What is it, Jamie?” His mom asked, worry on her face as she gazed at her son.

James shook his head, “S’nothing.” He mumbled and walked back to his room, letter clutched tightly in his hand.

I wanna go out on the weekends

I wanna dress up just to get undressed

I took a nervous deep breath as we boarded the plane, praying to whoever is out there to keep me and my family safe. However, I wasn’t naive enough to not know that despite my prayers what is planned to happen, will happen. And there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it, no matter what they try.

I think that I should probably tell you this

In case there is an accident

And I never see you again

James sat quietly on his bed, staring blankly at the picture on his shelf. The picture of him and his best friend, the girl he loved most. The only sign of life in the boy was his soft breathing and the erratic bouncing of his knee, a tell-tale sign that he was nervous. Anxiety filled his veins as he thought about every possibility, each one worse than the last, none of them seemed to have a happy ending.

So please save all your questions for the end

And maybe I'll be brave enough by then

A gasp left my lips as the plane shook and I grabbed tightly onto my seatbelt, praying for the plane to stay in the air. It leveled out quickly and I let out a sigh of relief, rubbing my eye gently. This is the dumbest thing ever.

Don't wanna say something wrong

Don't wanna be weird

James sat nervously at the airport, his leg once again bouncing up and down. So far there was no news of a plane crash or anything like that, so he still had faith. He re-read the letter at least two dozen times, the words not quite settling in. His best friend, of almost six years, the girl he was in love with, loves him. And she wants to spend the rest of her life with him. The idea was absolutely mind boggling to the poor boy.

But if you're still in love with her

I think that I'll leave it there

And I won't ever tell you this

“Sirius, shut up. You’re annoying and you smell like a wet dog.” I said with a smile as Sirius and I turned a corner our fourth year.

“Woah.” Sirius breathed and I looked up, my heart shattering at the sight. James stood there, his hand on Lily’s cheek as he softly kissed her. I cleared my throat and turned around. “Y/n/n-”

“Not now, Sirius.”

Oh, 'cause to tell you is too scary

So I'll just say something else

Like how was fall semester?

And what was that song about?

I smiled happily as I left the plane, a weight lifting off my chest as I walked into the airport. I linked arms with my mom who held hands with my dad as we walked to the exit of the gate. I walked out and my eyes immediately met James’.

He widely smiled as he jumped out of the chair and ran over, almost tackling me to the ground with a big bear hug. He held on tightly as he swayed us side to side, switching from foot to foot.

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” He mumbled, not letting go.

“Me too.”

I'll try to hide the way I feel

But I'll just wanna shout

What do I have to lose right now?

“Okay, you two, let’s not block the way, yeah?” My mom said with amusement laced in her voice. James let go and took the carry on bag from my hand, also reaching over to grab my moms.

“I got these for you, ladies.” He said with a smile and I blushed as my mom waved him off with a smile.

“No special treatment for me, James?” My dad teased and James managed to grab his bad as well.

“So sorry, ma’am. I do have a very important question for you two adults though.” James said with a serious look on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows at him and he winked.

“Yes?” My dad prompted.

“May I steal your daughter for the night? Please?”

“N-”

“Yes, of course you can.” My mom interrupted my dad and winked at me.

I wanna eat pancakes for dinner

I wanna get stuck in your head

“James, I love spending time with you but why tonight? I’m tire- wait.” I cut myself off as the door opened and a sweet aroma filled my nose. James smiled cheekily at me and ushered me in. I hesitantly walked to the kitchen island and gasped.

“Pancakes for dinner.” He said from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “And for the record, you’re always on my mind.”

I wanna watch a T.V. show together

And when we're under the weather we can watch it in bed

I wanna go out on the weekends

I wanna dress up just to get undressed

“James-”

“Nope. You’ve already said your piece.” He said, letting go and stepping in front of me. He grabbed my hands and looked me in my eyes. “It’s my turn.”

I think that I should probably tell you this

In case there is an accident

And I never see you again

“From the moment I laid eyes on you, attacking Sirius with spells we didn’t learn in class until second year, I swore I was in love. You were all I talked about in letters back home, and to Sirius and Remus and Peter.”

“But Lily?”

So please save all your questions for the end

And maybe I'll be brave enough by then

“Lily was a coverup. She knows, by the way. In fact, I didn’t even realize it until she told me. Y/n, you are my best friend, and I love you more than the Earth itself. You are a magnificent witch, with such an intelligent mind and beautiful face. I love every part of you. So, sorry for the lack of originality, but-”

Well, maybe I won't ever say what's in my head

No, I won't have to say anything

“I’d love to have pancakes for dinner, and like I said, you’re already stuck in my head. I want to watch a TV show with you and rewatch it together when I get you sick, or you me. I want to go out on the weekends with you and obviously I want you to dress up so I can tear it off. I want you, Y/n. I want you.”

I pressed a kiss to his lips, removing one of my hands from his to cup his cheek. He used his free hand and gently rubbed up and down my waist, committing the curve to memory. We pulled away and rested our foreheads together with giddy smiles.

You'll say it instead

taglist (if u wanna be added comment :) I'd highly recommend, not to toot my own horn but my stories are pretty great);

@poetrypirate @1lellykins @loving-and-dreaming

#aanoia #marauders era #romance #remus lupin #the marauders #james & peter & remus & sirius #sirius black #james potter x reader #harry potter #marauders #james potter #marauders map #marauders headcanon #the maraunders map #hp marauders #marlene mckinnon

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trashlie · 10 months

Text

ILY FP 231

ALRIGHTY KIDS WHO’S READY FOR STALKYOO WEEKEND WHO’S READY FOR ME TO TALK NONSTOP ABOUT ILY AND TENSION AND FEELINGS AND EXECUTION AND SUBTEXT I’M RARING TO GO picture me frothing at the mouth rattling the bars of my cage because that’s been me and that WILL remain me!

Look I’m about to choke out 246 different posts but I’m going to do my best to try to keep this one on topic... but we know how I get so uhhhh. Brace yourselves lmao

This episode is just CATNIP for me, and I know I keep saying that but forgive me, everything we’ve been getting in these arcs is jus tailor-made, it’s the stuff I feast on, it’s got me scurrying up walls like a lil lizard chewing on the rafters shrieking like a banshee. I am FED and I am addicted and I WANT MORE!!!!!!!

Nana + Shinae is just unhinged chaos I was completely unprepared for and getting to see them play out more in this episode is a HOOT. I say this with affection, but I am SO GLAD she’s not MY grandma cos WOW I, too, would be so embarrassed. (Actually she reminds me a lot of my mom, pls understand the embarrassment I have endured at her hand!) Shinae and Nana bonding over their mutual dislike for Rand was SO funny - like oh shit wait you don’t like that old geezer OR that witch? Oh you have TASTE (also there’s a subtle little... dig if we want to call it that “Oh I like this one” [eyes]). All the while Nol just sits by watching with that EXPRESSION LMAO

In fact, all of Nol’s expressions are SO funny and SO good! I cannot get over his deeply mortified blushing when Nana called the headband his “comfort headband” and pretty much aired that he was so upset that he was fiddling with it lmao LIKE COME ON (BUT ALSO HER INSINUATIONS? NANA U NASTY FREAK LMAOOOOOOO implying he’d done something unholy with it I SIMPLY CANNOT) His expression as he fucking!!! Throws!!!!! His blanket over her with his lil eye buggin out? PURE COMEDY I LOVE IT

But obviously the meat and potatoes of this episode is the Shinae Nol confrontation - and the elephant in the room. Nol says so much while saying so little - the subtext is off the charts and it’s INSANE to me that they are just.... confessing between the lines lmao

Let me get this out of the way, my favorite point to yell about: Nol cannot resist Shinae. He tries and he always fails. He is so weak in the face of her - and now he finally understands why. She doesn’t seem to realize it, but she manages to elicit truth out of him, she keeps him rooted to the spot. He’ll purposefully distance himself from her - angle away, sit away - but he still ends up angled in towards her, drawn in. She gets to him in a way that, as far as we can tell, no one else can. It’s what made it so difficult for him to actually part with her - why he stumbled and clutched her before he finally snipped the cord, why he had to block her and when she got around that (her message in his spam) he had to drown it out with alcohol. Her gravitational pull on him is so great and he is now aware of it.

I think he did have every intention to talk to her. Maybe he wasn’t going to be as open as we hope. He seemed like he wanted to at least try to clear something up. But his tune completely changed after she brought up Dieter, after she made him realize that Dieter saw it all, that he knew what Nol knows. Ngl I find this simultaneously funny and frustrating because it DOES put them in such a precarious position and Shinae is just SO unaware of it yet!!!!

Nol knows that when it’s just them, things cease to matter. It’s the way he phrases things - like how he talks about when they thought everyone was asleep, because it was that cloak of secrecy that allowed him to be so bold. It was the belief that the whole world was asleep and they were alone in their bubble, no thoughts, nothing else, acting on their whims. He knows he made a move on her, and he knows it was intentional, and it would never have happened if Dieter and Soushi were awake. But that’s the thing about when Nol is alone with Shinae - he seems to forget everything else. She disarms him and he acts on his whims.

The range of his expression is so good here - going from guarded and cautious to the moment he’s putting the dots together and he closes his eyes and screws up his face. Nol isn’t an asshole - he knows what Dieter must be feeling, what it must be like to have witnessed that, to listen in on that. Shinae may not have processed how loaded it was, but Nol can see it easily from Dieter’s perspective.

And here’s the thing about Dieter, too. He’s not a fool, he knows what he’s up against. I don’t mean it in that he’s competing with Nol, really, but we know he compares his relationship with Shinae to other peoples’ relationships with her. We’ve seen him voice his insecurity to Minhyuk - that he doesn’t have with her what Nol does. When he told Shinae she loves Nol, he obviously meant it as a friend, the way he does - but I still think he was voicing a fear that he already had in his heart. Like Nol, though, Dieter isn’t good at resisting Shinae, and he lets his hope build up when he knows better. Dieter knew he was playing with fire.

That doesn’t make it hurt any less, though - to basically have it confirmed almost behind your back. Dieter can see it for what it was - not just the way Nol was acting, the way he looked at her, the way he literally put the moves on her lol but it was the way she received it, the way she flusters under his gaze. It was how she stayed at his side the whole time, how her concern for him outshines her need for sleep or food.

Nol’s guilt is SO strong, it permeates this episode, but I think it’s also very much twisted with his fear. It’s easier to use the guilt, to frame around that, because in his mind he fucks things up all the time, he makes things worse, his existence creates more problems. I love that Shinae calls him out on the fact that it’s not his fault that his plan to get her and Dieter together didn’t work because it’s true. While he’s not wrong to some degree - pushing Dieter and Shinae to be friends does kind of prolong the pain, at the end of the day, they all make their choices. Dieter chose to collect those moments with Shinae knowing they were supposed to be strictly platonic, everything as friends. Shinae still chose to confide in him, to open up, to let him in. Just because Nol pushed the friendship it doesn’t mean they had no agency in the matter.

But obviously the real issue is not that he pushed them, that it draws out the pain for Dieter. It’s that he did all of that and in the end, he was the one who hurt him the most. It wasn’t that Shinae didn’t reciprocate - it was that Nol has feelings, too.

Now, I want to make a point here that I’m sure we’re all on the same page about. No one is really “at fault” here. It’s not like anyone has done anything wrong. Sure we can argue that Shinae has gotten Dieter’s hopes up unintentionally. Sure we can argue that liking someone your friend likes is bad. But human feelings are messy and don’t exist in a vacuum of good vs bad. The whole thing about dibs is so gross in general - it denies someone agency and instead rests on those who like them. Is Nol a bad friend for falling for someone his friend also likes? Is Shinae a bad person for falling for the friend of the guy who likes her? Obviously there are things that need to be cleared up - she needs to sort out her feelings for them, but the point remains. No one is at fault.

But that doesn’t mean Nol won’t feel guilty, won’t feel like an asshole for finding a new way to hurt the people he cares about.

I know this sounds crazy but I kind of lmao like the way he told Shinae she needs to go, that “You can’t be here alone with me any longer.”

Nol has acknowledged his role in this. He acknowledges the way he deliberately hurt Dieter, even though it wasn’t his intention. And what’s more is what he’s not saying - the subtext. That she can’t be alone with him because they will continue to say and do things that will hurt Dieter, that will create more pain. Nol knows how easily Shinae can disarm him if he’s not vigilante. All it takes is her bringing him ease again, him falling back into that comfort, forgetting the rest of the world, acting on it again.

There’s something that feels so urgent about it? Intense? That she NEEDS to go because he doesn’t have the willpower any more. That he’s trying REALLY HARD to be a good person, a good friend, but it’s so difficult. He says it every which way besides with words, and if you read between the lines he’s practically screaming it out loud.

I actually think he’s handling it pretty well, even if it doesn’t clear things up for Shinae in the moment. He’s acting on Dieter’s behalf - but also on his own. And hers. Shinae needs to come to the conclusion he has and it’s not for him to tell her. Part of why it’s so easy for Shinae to let herself feel that way with Dieter is because she knows he likes her. He’s safe and comfortable. Had he never confessed would she think anything of the way he looks at her? Would she think anything of the comfort he brings her? But because she knows, it has affected her view. I don’t say that like it’s a bad thing, because we all respond to people based on how they feel about us, I think. But if Nol were to speak those words out loud, if he were to tell her “it’s because I like you!” how would it make her feel? Would it influence what she thinks about him? Surely it would!

Nol is trying to get Shinae to come to the same realization he has, and more so, he’s trying to get her to be clear about her feelings. Do you like me or not? Do you act this way with everyone? He sees the way she gets flustered, he knows the effect he’s got on her. He’s probably sure she reciprocates those feelings and hasn’t figured it out yet - but there’s still a shadow of a doubt. There’s still the fact that maybe he’s reading into it, maybe he’s seeing something that isn’t there. Maybe she’s someone who cares about him and he’s misread it because he’s so desperate to matter to someone, anyone.

Look we all know better, but we also know how doubts persist!

There’s so much ANGST but it’s SO good! It’s not angst for the sake of angst, it’s not drawing something out just to make the story last. Nol’s expressions cause me PAIN, Shinae’s make me ACHE. He feels like a guilty asshole, he wants her to go, but he can’t even look at her and say it - he looks away, his mouth set in that way holding back all the things he believes he should not say. Honestly they are so good at hurting each other ;______; it hurts ME, too!

But also, I get it. I’m with Nol here. How can he bear to look at her when he’s pushing her away again? How can he bear to look at her when it’s all his fault (according to him). He can’t even look at her when he tells her Dieter was awake the whole time. It’s such a loaded statement but unfortunately it doesn’t QUITE land because Shinae can’t quite grasp the significance.

Actually this whole part is both so funny and so unbearable to me lmao because Nol is all but saying that Dieter oversaw them having a very non-platonic moment and she’s like i don’t get it why’s that a big deal LMAOOOOOO ;____; Nol is going THROUGH it okay! She keeps insisting that it meant nothing, that it’s just friends, what’s wrong with that. And Nol can’t come out and say the truth - that it looked romantic that it felt romantic, that he meant all of it and that’s why it’s so wrong. The whole time he’s trying to get her to understand WHY that hurts Dieter and she’s just hurting him at the same time LMAO OUCH

I LOVE those panels where we can’t see their faces - where it’s Nol’s frustration and anguish that she doesn’t get it, that he’s trying, that he feels awful because of course those feelings are still there why wouldn’t they be. His frustration, the faint lines on Shinae’s face.

Maybe it’s there at the back of her mind - something faint, something distant. Maybe for a moment she understands what Nol isn’t saying, the implications of what Dieter oversaw, overheard. But if it, she doesn’t acknowledge it at all.

Nol’s hand over his face in frustration, that panel where we close in on his eye and Shinae says “You’re not intentionally trying to hurt him!” But... he is. Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt Dieter - but he IS intentionally doing things that hurt him. And he still wants to! That’s the thing, that’s why he needs her to go. It’s so easy to fall into that, to act on that, to forget Dieter exists and instead indulge a little. It may not be his intention to hurt Dieter, but it’s his intention to do things that WOULD hurt him, and she doesn’t get it.

But GOD lmao the way she just starts to rub salt in the wound!!!!! “Whatever he thinks is just a misunderstanding. There’s NOTHING going on here!”

In ILY universe, nothing is always Nol. There is Nol going on here.

And look, I feel for him here, a LOT. This must be SO hard!!!! Not just the pushing her away, not just knowing he hurt Dieter, but having this whole conversation, her not getting it, her taking a moment that clearly meant SO MUCH to him and saying it meant nothing. Again, there’s so much that is LOADED when she says “We’re all friends here!” and he says that resolute “No”, his eyes hidden from us, his hands firm on the wheelchair.

Shinae misconstrues it as no, we aren’t all friends, but what Nol means is that no it’s not just friends. It’s two different people who like her a lot. It’s knowing he acted on something that hurt his friend. That moment wasn’t platonic, wasn’t just friendship - not for him. Clearly she’s unready to see it, but he knows it. No. We’re not friends here - we are people who like you so very much.

GOD, THE ANGST, THE ANGUISH. I AM SWINGING FROM THE RAFTERS I’M HOOTING.

I LOVE the moment he says he can’t take this - he can’t keep having this conversation, can’t take being shut down like this, can’t handle her downplaying a significant moment. If she wants to tell herself it was nothing but to keep reiterating it to him? Unbearable! But also I LOVE that Shinae stands her group and puts her foot down, I love her calling him out because like I get it! I understand both of them. She’s had no time to process any of this, all she knows is she wants him to stop pushing her away, she wants him to stop boxing her out, she wants him to be OPEN.

In a way, they are fighting for the same thing, but they keep obstructing each other. They want the same thing but they’re speaking in different languages. He WANTS her to see it - that it wasn’t a platonic moment, that he meant it that it matters that their fingerprints are all over it. He wants her to see what Dieter saw. She wants him to show himself, to open up, to stop hiding, to be vulnerable. They are trying SO HARD to get the same thing, but they just keep butting heads and getting in each others’ way.

AND WHEN SHE TELLS NOL THAT SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DATING DIETER? OH MY /GOD/ lmao alkjfkjafkjafkjafkjja alfjakfjj SHRIEKS

Not ONLY has she basically downplayed this whole romantic moment, downplayed whatever is transpiring between them but she goes on to say SHE’S NOT NOT INTERESTED IN DIETER?! LMAOOOOOOOOO Again I reiterate no one is at fault here!!!!!! But lmaooooo the OUCHIES of this whole conversation! Isn’t it bad enough that she says it was nothing it doesn’t mean anything, and then she goes on to be like I mean i don’t totally NOT not like him idk..... LMAO

He’s clearly frustrated both in trying to get her to understand what he isn’t voicing, but also because he seems like such a resolute person? Or at least, he tries to be. I assume it’s kind of like... he realized he likes her and that’s it. It’s not that he thinks he might like her, it’s not that he might have some feelings. He knows he’s all in, all feelings, all eyes on her. And she appears so wishy washy - flirting with him but doesn’t acknowledge it, unintentionally stringing Dieter along and igniting that hope.

And the thing is she isn’t doing any of this maliciously. She’s tried to be clear with Dieter! It’s not her fault that he keeps getting his hopes up. She’s had no time to process her feelings for Nol, has had no experiences to compare any of this to. I love this conversation between them because it illuminates how little Shinae knows about feelings, about love, about romance. She hasn’t let anyone in in a long time, has guarded herself so tightly, and now that she has, how is she to understand the ways they affect her, what their significance means?

It’s easy to see why she keeps trying to box her feelings about Nol into a box they don’t fit. Of course she cares, of course she worries, that’s what friends do. It’s not that she cares, though - it’s why. Does she care as a friend or does she care as something else? That’s what he’s trying to get her to answer - and I think he got close. But she needs to distance herself from the night, too. She needs to dwell on those feelings - and not just the intensity of trying to hang on to him, but the other feelings, too. The butterflies, the fluttering, the fluster, the way she can’t meet his gaze, the way she starts to fluster if he looks at her for too long.

Someone said that Shinae is practically confessing to Nol and doesn’t even realize it and my god they’re right lmao. The way Shinae argues back that she knows Nol didn’t like it when she left after they danced, that she knows he was bummed, can you really throw all that away what we’ve been through, how effortless we are? lmao SHE REALLY JUST. Goes on saying it!!! AND SHE DOESN’T RECOGNIZE IT FOR WHAT IT WAS.

(I mean she did a whole damn love soliloquy in front of Minhyuk for Nol so like. It’s been an all night thing lmao)

Also it hurt when Nol admits that Dieter doesn’t have that with Shinae - not even as her friend. Even if she does not not want to date him, even if a part of her DOES like him - does it compare to what she feels about Nol? Does it compare to what he means to her? He can’t look her in the eye, and even as she tries to play it off, to say hey all friendships are different does it really matter SHE can’t meet his eye.

Consciously Shinae may not be aware of it but on some level she must know. On some subconscious level, that ghost of a thought passes by, a faint wave of shame. She doesn’t share with Dieter what she shares with Nol. It’s true that there’s something there, but it’s something she’s avoiding, something she consciously cannot face yet.

BUT LISTEN, MY GOD. NOL ASKING HER WHY SHE CARES /SCREAMS JUST SCREAMS ALJKFKJAFJKAFLJ AFJALJJAF AFJAKFJFA

He’s pushing!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that Nol is a ball of contradiction. He wants Shinae to acknowledge what he isn’t saying out loud, he wants her to realize that it means something to him, that there are feelings, that it’s not platonic, and he wants her to acknowledge so she understands why he’s pushing her away. But I think he also wants her to admit it herself. Confirm what he suspects. She fights SO hard but she can’t say why. She cares so much but she can’t elaborate.

Convince me.

LKJFKJAF LAJFKAJFA F /SCALES THE WALLS PARKOURS ACROSS ALL THE ROOFS IN THE NEIGHBORBOOD.

He knows. HE KNOWS. Convince him he’s wrong. Convince him it’s not what he thinks. Convince her that her extent of care of need her desperate desire to keep hold of him to make him show himself to her to be vulnerable with him is platonic. Convince him.

AND SHE CAN’T!!!!!!!!!

Again, she averts her gaze! Again, she flusters and blushes. Again he disarms her just by looking at her and he takes advantage of the moment to finally kick her out.

GOD WHAT AN EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WANNA BARK BARK BARK WOOOOF RLKJJKJ RRRRGGHHR RRRRHGHGHG LDKJC YIP YIP YIP

IT’S SO GOOD. THE SUBTEXT, THE EXPRESSIONS, THE DANCE AROUND THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, THE ANGST, THE EMOTIONS.

And no matter which standpoint you look at it from it’s just GOOD.

Nol feels guilty, like an asshole, he has hurt his friend. But more than that - it’s how he knows he can’t be alone with her, how he knows he can’t stop himself any more from acting on what he wants. He needs to PHYSICALLY remove her because that’s how little resistance he has, because that’s how much she gets to him, how much she affects him. It’s the way it hurts to have this conversation - where if he says the words out loud it makes them real and it becomes a weight she has to carry. If he can make her reach the conclusion on her own, maybe it won’t be so bad. He won’t have to deal with the pain if she doesn’t reciprocate - if she comes to the right conclusion and keeps her distance. If he says them out loud and she has to turn him down? He can’t handle that he can’t bear it. But at the same time, every time she denies that their shared moment meant nothing, that the way he looked at her, the way he treated her (HOW HE TOUCHED HER?????) was just platonic to him???? HOW CAN HE BEAR TO ENDURE THAT CONVERSATION?!

And it’s not that it means nothing - she just needs the space and time to process it, to really play out what happened. I think, too, on some level she IS subconsciously repressing it. Isn’t it scary? Especially because Nol is a person who comes and goes, who pushes her away and then shares these intense moments and then shoves her away again. What good is it to acknowledge what he means when she can barely keep a hold on him as a friend, when she can barely make him understand his significance. Nol and Dieter both are such good friends to her, people she can rely on, people who make her feel safe. Sure Nol may not make her feel secure all the time lmao but when it’s just them, when they’re lost in that little world, for the moment, he does. It’s scary, to think of losing any of that. All the relationships she’s ever been privy to have fallen apart. There’s no photos, no memories of her family as a whole unit. She’s seen what Rand and Yui look like. She’s got no experience of her own, and now that she has friends she loves so much, she’s too afraid to lose them.

How can she begin to dissect what Nol means to her when it makes him feel more fleeting? How can she begin to understand what exists between them is romantic when she’s never really witnessed a healthy successful romance exist?

The thing that makes friends to lovers SUCH a good trope, and why I love it SO MUCH is the stakes, the risk vs the payout. What if you take that step and it all goes wrong? What if you mess it up and you lose someone who is SO important to you, someone who means so much? What if all goes wrong and you can’t put it back together and you make something beautiful all wrong by getting your fingerprints on it and chipping the corners? You start to fear even the possibility because sure it could go well - but if it goes bad you lose it ALL. Everything.

But what is life if you don’t take some risks? Can you live with that regret, if you never take a chance, if you miss out on something you wanted?

That’s the thing about Dieter, isn’t it? He knows the risks. He knows he’s playing with fire, knows he doesn’t quite have with Shinae what Nol does. But he still tries. He still lets his unwavering hope go, even if it hurts him. He can’t ever say he has any regrets because he’s given it his all. Sure, it hurt a LOT and it’s going to, until he gets over her and can find a way to move on, but at least he tried. At least he made the effort and can say that he did his best.

It’s funny that Nol and Shinae stand in that place. She’s doing her best, she’s making an effort so she can’t regret not trying - but she just can’t see the full picture, can’t acknowledge WHY she’s fighting WHY she’s pushing. But Nol is the other part of it, the understanding, but also fear. It’s not just Dieter that stops him. If she continues to deny that it means anything, if she continues to say it was nothing.... that hurts. It’s bad enough to have feelings - but for the person you like to deny them? GOD. ;A;

At this point there’s a lot of conversations that need to be had, and i think I’m looking forward to (hopefully?!) seeing Nol and Dieter talk it out. I think as much as Dieter is hurt, I can’t see him as the kind of person who would stand in the way of his friends happiness. If they make each other happy, who is he to tell Nol to back off or something? Shinae is a person with agency who can make her own choices and if she comes to a realization that she reciprocates Nol’s feelings well.... he can’t really stop her just because she doesn’t like him. He’s not an incel alkfkjafjaf lmao I don’t think it’s the kind of thing that would make him hate either of them.

I’ve said it before but Dieter loves Nol, too, so he can understand why Shinae would fall for him. And likewise, as a person who likes Shinae, I’m sure he can understand how Nol would unintentionally fall. There’s a lot that’s happened between Nol and Shinae that Dieter doesn’t know about - the things that draw them together, that make them reach out to one and other. I think he can probably get that sense - there’s just SOMETHING ELSE there that isn’t with him and Shinae.

I like to think Dieter might encourage Nol, or at the very least perhaps tell him to stop pushing people away. That one of these days he’ll push and she won’t come back and can he really live with that? While Dieter doesn’t know as much as Shinae, he at least seems to have the sense that there’s a profound depth to Nol, that there’s a lot of pain (as evidenced between him and Kousuke) and that his life hasn’t been as easy as Yeonggi made it look, so maybe he, too, will what it means for Nol to open up, to really truly fall for someone who feels the same as him. Who is he to deny their happiness, just because it makes him hurt?

On the other hand, a part of me dreads Dieter and Shinae talking because WHEW BOY we know it’s going to hurt either way it goes. Will she deny her feelings about Nol, try to continue to write them off as friendship because it scares her, because she’s so afraid of losing him that she’s willing to swallow them down, because she doesn’t want it to get in the way? Even if she did, Dieter would see through it. I think now that he’s seen it, really seen it at play, he knows he can’t keep pretending. That’s why he’s distanced himself. If she were to try to play the card that it meant nothing wouldn’t he get more upset that she’s lying? God it just feels like a painful conversation ;___; And if she’s honest with him, if she sets him straight that she should have been clearer, that she hurt him, it just makes it hurt more AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

JUST AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

All that said, I love how good of a subversion of “why does my kokoro go dokidoki”. It’s not that Shinae is naïve - it’s that she’s inexperienced and scared. It’s that she hasn’t had the time to process, it’s that she has this mix of feelings that she’s had no time to sort them out and untangle them. For so long she held people at arm’s length and now her heart is too full! And because it’s subverting that trope, I don’t think we’ll see it drawn out for a terribly long time, and she’ll put on her big girl pants and try to make it right. Right now she’s afraid to rock the boat. She’s been hurt so many times by people, she doesn’t want to be the one who hurts others, she doesn’t want to be the one who inflicts pain. But I think when she realizes the truth, she’ll realize that trying to ignore it causes more pain, drawn out. That’s what Nol is getting at. That as long as she doesn’t definitively have feelings, it only hurts. It drags out Dieter’s pain every time he thinks there’s a chance. It drags out Nol’s pain, that she can’t sort out the feelings.

I love so much that Shinae cares about peoples’ feelings - especially because in the beginning she so badly wanted to believe she doesn’t care if people think she’s a bitch. She’s so empathetic and caring! But at some point we have to realize that avoiding a problem only makes it worse. It’s so much better to be up front and get it out of the way. Dieter won’t be able to heal until the wound stops getting ripped open. He WILL be okay, he WILL get over. But it won’t happen until she makes things clear.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS SO MANY FEELINGS I HAVEN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT NOL’S RESOLVE BUT I’M SAVING THAT FOR A SEPARATE POST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Stalkyoo #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Nol #Dieter Becker-Wulff #Shieter #WHAT MORE CAN I SAY I AM BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS OKAY I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS I WILL BE BACK TONIGHT WITH MORE THOUGHTSSSSSSSSS #gonna keep the tags short this time because i'm just completely feral RARRLKAJRJAJRRRRrr

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