#Well in my eyes Michaels bi | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pacifymebby · 1 year

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hi, can i request peaky blinders reaction to reader coming out? i'm doing mine today and i'm kinda scared of my friends' reactions :( feel free to ingore my ask if you don't feel comfortable writing it!

Aw hey! First of all I'm sorry i think u sent this last week? Im only just seeing it!!!

I hope your coming out went well and that your friends showed u all their love and support. (u have all my love and support)

I'm bi, but i never had an official coming out I just sorta awkwardly would say gay shit in conversations until people just accepted that i was queer haha.

Tommy

🌿 You've been close with Tommy for a little while, working at Shelby Company Limited. He took a shine to you in a way neither of you really understand... Anyway the point is you feel like you can trust him, and because of that you feel guilty for keeping this a secret

🌿 You're so nervous to tell him and actually he's been thinking you've been being odd all day. You keep looking at him funny, like youre about to say something, like youre really thinking about saying something... But you haven't said anything yet and its beginning to worry him

🌿 So when he feels your eyes on him again he doesnt even look up, he just carries on writing, "alright y/n i can tell youve somet to say so why dont you just say it eh... What is it? You have a problem with how I spoke to Lizzy earlier? You don't like Michael? You think am dealing with these Italians incorrectly? Come on what is it?"

🌿 You're completely stunned and your heart starts racing in a panic as you stumble your way through "what? No i mean... You were pretty harsh on her weren't you but... Wait Michael? What? And I... I don't know how i think you should be... Why would I have an opinion on..." your cheeks are burning as you realise youre losing control of your voice, getting flustered and making a fool of yourself, but worse than that, Tommys looking at you with a smirk on his lips, leaning back in his chair, hands folded over one another on the desk.

🌿 Tommy probably already knows what youre going to tell him, because he has eyes everywhere, and because he himself is observant. Hes seen the way you look at women/men... He knows what you are but he doesn't care. He just wants you to tell him so that he can tell you he doesn't care, that it doesnt effect the way he thinks of you. That you'll always be welcome at the Shelbys.

🌿 Just because he knows doesnt mean he's going to take your moment from you, he doesnt know why but he feels its probably something you need to say out loud, to him, no interruptions. Your sexuality might not be a thing that concerns him or even really interests him but he understands it as an important thing for you, something you need to feel confident taking ownership of... So he just waits quietly.

🌿 When you finally say it he sits quietly still, he nods his head, he lets you believe that this is news to him, he doesnt tell you he already knew.

🌿 "Well," he says calmly, "I'm glad you've got that off your chest y/n, and am touched that you trust me with this information..." he's a little awkwardly formal about it, because he doesnt want to make a big scene or embarass you, but he doesnt want to make you think he isnt bothered...

🌿 "You know who you love, thats your business and nobody elses, and I know the world doesnt understand that yet, but I do, and my family do, and youll always be welcome where the Shelby family are concerned... Youre part of this family y/n, this doesn't change that... "

🌿 Youd feel so relieved and also so loved and accepted. Youre glad Tommy didn't get too dramatic about it, youd been worried he'd get angry at you for having kept it a secret so long... But his calm presence was reassuring and you feel secure.

Alfie

🐻 Alfies noticed you've not been yourself for a few weeks now, hes getting worried about you because you seem much more nervous and mousy than you used to be... He's worried something bad has happened to you that youre trying to hide from him.

🐻 So he calls you into his office one day, gets you where you can't escape him (because every time hes tried to talk to you recently youve managed to avoid a real conversation and ducked away from him)

🐻 You feel like youre in trouble whenever he calls you into his office but you feel worse just now because you probably are in trouble. You can't stop thinking about this big secret youve been hiding. It isn't fair, it shouldn't have to be a secret. Other people don't have to hide when they fall in love...

🐻 Alfie is wearing his usual frown, he looks mean, grumpy, intimidating. "Alright y/n treacle I think you an me need to have a little talk yeah... Just a little one don't worry don't worry i won't keep you long... Know youve probably got somewhere to rush off to, thats all you seem to do these days... Rush off places... Run away from me... Feel like we haven't had a proper conversation in weeks and well you know me... Miserable old sod, spend all me time on me own... Been starting to miss you haven't I treacle so..."

🐻 Youve always been so impressed by the way Alfie can talk and talk and talk his enemies into a nervous sweat but you arent really feeling appreciative of it just now. Actually youre beginning to sweat yourself. Now youee sure you're in trouble.

🐻 But youre not. And Alfie doesnt know... Even though you think he must know, he doesnt have a clue. His concern is completely genuine. He thinks his friend is hiding something, some kind of trouble, and he wants to help you if he can...

🐻 "So come on then treacle, why don't you tell your old pal Alf just what's goin on.. Why ain't you stopping by anymore? Why am I missin you?"

🐻 You think about lying to him but only breifly because you know he will be able to tell.

🐻 And when you do tell him your voice is shaking and you're convinced he's going to turn on you, be digusted, all the negative thoughts youve had about yourself bubble to the surface and you can barely keep it together...but

🐻 He just does a big sigh of relief and youre just looking back at him confused.

🐻 "Well i must say treacle I'm a little relieved..." "W.. What... Alfie I just... That was so hard to tell you and youre... Youre relieved? Why are you relieved? This is..."

🐻 "What? This is what exactly treacle? I hope you aren't going to say bad cause well, you and me both know that that, well that just ain't true is it..."

🐻 He'd give you a whole speech about how you shouldn't think badly of yourself, that your sexuality is completely valid, love is love ect, "its a miserable old world we're doomed to live in, why deny yourself the one joy god gave us eh..."

🐻 "You know I've been worrying about you treacle, i thought something really bad had happened to you... Thought you were caught up in some bad shit... Italians or peaky boys shit you know? But this... Well... Treacle I'm happy for you..." "You're happy for me?" you look back at him a little dumbfounded, still a little shocked hes taking it so well.

🐻 "Thats right, I'm, thats me Alfie yeah, Im happy for you, thats you y/n l/n... I'm happy that you've found some understanding, and I hope that you can find some happiness and peace and... And i hope you stop lookin so worried all the time... Come on, cmere, give your old pal a hug,"

🐻 You're getting bear hugged to hell and back.

Arthur

🍂 I'm not going to lie, Arthur would be confused at first... As in not, what do you mean why are you gay? But more, i don't understand, why are you telling me that?

🍂 Really really tries to say the right thing, says the wrong thing.

🍂 He'd get so flustered because he knows this is a big and important thing you've told him and he needs to say exactly the right thing to show he loves and supports you...

🍂 But he's terrible with words and even though he's trying really hard it's all coming out wrong and he's getting embarassed and confusing himself, tripping over his words and stuff.

🍂 But its lowkey endearing seeing him trying so hard for you, thats always been how you've known arthur cares about something or someone because he gets embarrassed whenever he has to show it.

🍂 He'd tell you that if anyone else doesnt accept you or says anything "homowhatsit" about you, you tell him their name and he'll sort them out. No ones gonna bother you about this.

🍂 He'd end up just giving up, giving you a hug with one of those awkward male clap on the backs, then he'd ask you why you chose to tell him this and not "someone smart like Ada" and when you tell him its because he's your best friend and you needed him to know first he's very touched, gets embarassed all over again. Secretly very proud.

🍂 Probably waits until you've come out to Ada and then goes to her to ask her what he should have said. She laughs at him, tries to tell him he probably said the right things in his own way, but he insists he has to say it properly. So she practices with him and lets him rehearse it with her..

🍂 Then when he tries to take you asside and tell you it all over again he does exactly the same thing as before and messes up all head in hands "sorry love I'm so fuckin stupid with words an you know all this... Feelins like.."

John

🌼 If you're a lass he's definitely making the "what you mean you don't fancy me then? Thought that was the whole basis of our friendship..." joke which makes you roll your eyes and knock him with your elbow.

🌼 If youre a lad, "and youre telling me this because naturally you're in love with me eh...knew it nobody can resist the..." youd cut him off with a shove and a shut up and then he'd laugh and say sorry

🌼 "only messin mate..." as he puts an arm around your shoulder.

🌼 He'd be very supportive of your coming out but he wouldn't want to treat it like it was too "serious" or really acknowledge the dangers it posed to you.

🌼 He wouldn't want to talk to you about those dangers or think about them because deep down he'd be incredibly worried for you and his mind would be working over time to think how he can protect you.

🌼 He'd probably start spending more time with you and you'd end up jokingly reiterating the fact that you don't fancy him he should leave you alone

🌼 But he'd be like "used to spend this much time with you, nothins changed don't be daft"

🌼 Wants to meet any man/woman you start seeing so he can vet them and make sure theyre good enough for you

Bonnie

🍀 Being your best friend he's very in tune with you and he's quite sensitive to a change in your mood or behaviour.

🍀 He's kind of always suspected you might not be straight because its always the girls that seem to get you shy and not the lads. When you're with him and the other lads you're confident and you speak your mind but when one of the pretty girls joins you get quiet, he's caught you starring so many times...

🍀 And so when you tell him he's really really really happy because he's been waiting for so long for you to realise who you are and stop being scared or ashamed of it. He was worried for a long time that you'd keep it secret your whole life and make yourself miserable.

🍀 Literally, youre shaking with nerves and hes just sat there grinning like a stupid little boy on christmas. He can't wipe the smile off his face and why should he? He's so happy for you and so proud of you.

🍀 "Brilliant, thats brilliant, youre a wee star! Brilliant..." you get shy and remind him you havent actually found a girlfriend yet but he completely ignores that point. "Yeah but you will soon won't you youre a heartbreaker in the makin i reckon..."

🍀 He'll get even more protective now when lads hit on you because he knows for certain their advances arent welcome. And once other people start to find out, if anyone says anything, to your face or behind your back Bonnie has the temper to knock them down and make sure they never say anything again.

🍀 He wants to meet anyone youre interested in, hes always trying to wingman you... Just wants you to be happy!

🍀 If he thinks you're crushing on someone he'll tease you about it so badly!

Isaiah

🐀Similar to John, if you're a girl, he's going to make that joke. If you're not and you say he's not your type hes actually going to be a bit offended. Its really going to wound his stupid ego and he'll have to try not to sulk about it.

🐀He obviously isnt making said jokes to belittle or not take you seriously, its friendly teasing, he wants to put you at ease and make you laugh.

🐀 He knows what its like to be a minority though, to have something people treat him like "less" for. So he's empathetic and will stand by you no matter what. He'll make sure you know that it doesn't make you a bad person, that its not you thats the problem.

🐀He knows youre worried about what other people will think so he tells you, "doesn't matter what other people think are gonna think, first thing people see when they see a peaky blinder, is a peaky fuckin blinder..."

🐀Will try to talk to you about women as if he was talking to a lad... Which is embarassing as hell for you and makes you visibly squirm... Which he finds very funny.

🐀He's actually really proud that you chose to tell him first and he gives you advice on how to tell everyone else... Honestly none of its that good, most of it sounds silly or embarrassing...

Michael

☘️ Honestly out of all the blinders i get toxic masculinity/homophobic vibes from Michael the most because he's the only one who hasn't experienced growing up as some kind of prejudiced against person BUT

☘️ I think he'd change for and because of you... See any snide comments he'd ever made, any judgemental things he'd said, he wouldnt ever have thought they were hurting his friend!

☘️ You're genuinely terrified to tell him and jt probably slips out in the messiest way possible... He says something about someone else being an *f slur and you very sharply counter with "whats so bad about that... Dont see how its any of your business is it..."

☘️ He'd get defensive and youd argue about it and when he tries to turn it on you with a "Don't see how its any of your business what i think of..." "Because thats me you're talking about! Every fucking time you say something like that you're hurting me Michael!"

☘️ Teary explanation and him immediately going quiet, guilty, he didn't realise and he feels terrible for hurting you like that.

☘️ It might take him a day but he'd apologise to you, he'd tell you that he might not understand but he wants to be there for you, it doesnt make you a bad person, nothing could stop him from loving and caring about you... He will probably really uncomfortably admit that its his problem and not yours

☘️ And then he'll be your biggest cheerleader and defender, he'll support you as best he can, he'll become a better less judgemental person, driven to become kinder because of you and realising how wrong he was before.

☘️ It will take time but even in the awkward beginning he wont let you doubt his love/care for you as a friend.

☘️ "You're still my best friend y/n you always fuckin will be and nothings gonna change that, and anyone... Anyone at all ever says any of that shit I used to come out with, to you or about you, I'll fuckin kill em..."

☘️ The way hes suddenly the fastest to shoot down other peoples homophobia. If he sees Isaiah or someone else laugh at a homophobic joke he'll shove/hit them to shut them up.

☘️ He can tell when you're crushing on someone and will be fucking brutal about making you talk to that person. Coming up to you at parties and lightly bullying you into flirting with them.

☘️ "You going to stand here staring whistfully at them all night or are you gonna grow up and talk to them?"

#bonnie gold x reader #peaky blinders imagines #tommy shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders headcanon #alfie solomons x reader #peaky blinders imagine

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dadsbongos · 11 months

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chapter 1 - two of hearts

2.2K words

warnings - bi reader (just because i felt like it)

masterlist / next chapter

Eddie squints, fingers tightening around the plastic bag of devil’s lettuce in his palm, “You came here for what?”

Mike sighs, a hand threading through his tangled hair as he reaches out for the weed, Eddie yanking the bag back before he can snatch it. Laying his hands flat on the wooden picnic table, Mike looks up tentatively at Eddie, as if approaching a wild animal, “So.”

“Uh oh?”

“Just listen - so, the deal is that my girlfriend, Jane- “ Mike reaches up and gestures between the both of them, “You remember her, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nods surely, stuffing the bag of contraband into his black, metal lunchbox, “Nice girl.”

“Well, she’s got this strict dad, right?”

“Hopper?” Eddie hums, “He seems nuts.”

“He is, he’s got this rule that Jane can’t date unless her sister does,” and this is when the shoe drops - Eddie’s eyes widen, “Which is where you come in,” he watches Eddie’s expression carefully, “I wanna hire you to take out my girlfriend’s sister.”

Eddie’s response is trapped in his throat, then his head shakes - before he can even think straight, he’s waving his hand in refusal, “No. Her? No! You could not pay me to take her out.”

You’re a renowned tempestuous young woman - or as he hears muttered between his peers, a “heinous bitch”.

“What if I actually pay you?”

Eddie tilts his head, knuckles rapping against the wood bench, “Well how much?”

“Thirty per date. Upfront.”

He knows Mike can afford that with his comfortable family in their lofty, two-story house.

So Eddie punches up.

“Forty,” and he internally rejoices when one of Mike’s hands outstretches to shake his - but instead of relenting this excitement, he asks, “What kind of stuff does she like?”

Mike blanks. That airheaded stare people get in their eyes when they have no clue what you’re saying but try to appear as though they do. Mike gets that look a lot.

“You don’t know?” Eddie’s brows raise, he grins and blows air through puckered lips, “You’re a terrible brother-in-law, Michael.”

“She’s the older one! It’s her job to get to know me.”

“Bad excuse.”

“Whatever,” Mike rolls his eyes and pushes himself up from the table, swinging a leg over the bench, “Thanks,” before he can wander too far, he pauses, “Actually, there’s this club - The Sunset - she goes Wednesdays and Saturdays.”

“And tomorrow is Saturday,” Eddie blurts.

Mike hums, over-exaggerated and nothing except sarcastic, “Tomorrow is Saturday - so have fun at The Sunset, Munson!”

The Sunset is a popular spot just outside Hawkins - particularly favored by women in outfits from Molly Ringwald’s closet and kind hearts from a Miss USA interviewer’s daydream. Definitely not the first place people would search for Eddie “the freak” Munson if he were a wanted criminal.

But forty bucks is forty bucks.

So Eddie “the freak” Munson drags a hand over his face and groans, loud and tired, “Sounds like a date.”

From the outside, The Sunrise is an average bar. Few and far windows, plain paint with a red neon sign plastered across the top half of the building. Another neon sign, royal purple, animates itself to spell ‘OPEN’ glass tube letter by glass tube letter.

Based on the inside, Eddie can tell that men typically don’t visit these parts. If he were to speak plainly, he thinks men - specifically, the men that visit bars - are usually insufferable. It’s in the rose pink, rose painting-speckled, peachy-lit hallway that he comes to completely realize this. Even with the same cheesy checkerboard tiled floors, The Sunset with all its shifting lamps and bulbs that paint its women in oranges, pinks, purples, and blues - is far more aesthetically pleasing than The Hideout. But The Hideout has always been safer for metalheads.

And judging by the beloved Stacey Q’s Two of Hearts that he can hear all the way from the hallway, this place is not so tender to his particular breed of outcast. It’s more loving to your brand - the brand that dances with Barb Holland and Robin Buckley under princess pink lights. He decides to linger by the bar’s white counter that, aside from a couple of copper rings, is nearly sparkling clean.

When your throat suddenly cinches and your skin beats a little hotter between soft dresses and softer skin in the crowd, you lean into Barb and raise your voice for her to hear, “I need water!”

“Get me one too?”

Robin perks up and despite your suspicion of her not knowing what you’re talking about, pitches in, “Me too!”

And despite the rolling of your eyes, you nod and meander to the bar.

As you wait, a voice crawls over the back of your neck, “Woah, fancy seeing you here.”

It's one you recognize damn near instantly, not that you’d ever let him know that. So when three bottles of water are in your hands and the bartender is paid, you quirk a brow at the Eddie Munson, “Do I know you?”

“Eddie,” he sticks out a hand, smile glittering like cartoon pearls in the dim lights, “Eddie Munson.”

You don’t take his hand - part by choice and part by how full your own are - but you do say your name back, “What’re you doing here of all places?”

His hand falls against the counter when you make no move to shake it, “Oh, you know, just heard this was the spot to be.”

Taking a peek at the thin Slayer shirt sagging off his sinewy arms, you turn him around by the jean-vest shoulder and trace the DIO patch in the center of his back. He almost jumps at the feather trace that sparks through his spine. It’s bizarre. Spinning him back around, you grin - snarky and critical and all disbelieving, “Yeah, this sure is your spot.”

Through shifting crowds and bumping elbows and shoulders, you still manage to catch how Barb and Robin stare at you so bewildered and wide-eyed. You pay Eddie no mind - you don’t even look back. So Eddie resigns himself to a sigh before leaning across the counter to a woman with inky black coils and ‘NIA’ printed across the top corner of her uniform top.

“Is there a phone I can use?”

She jerks her head to a bubblegum phone on the wall, “Press ‘1’ before dialing.”

Eddie forgets to press ‘1’ and so calling his woodland princess friend takes two tries.

“Cunningham residence - Chrissy speaking.”

“Chris! It’s Eddie, I need a favor,” his back straightens, and he leans against the black sparkly wall, “Is there a party you know about that the general population doesn’t yet?”

He can hear the gears in her head click as she hums, “Stacey Bennett is planning something for this weekend, why?”

“I need something to bring Hopper’s daughter to,” and slams the phone onto the candy pink hook.

Diana Ross’ I’m Coming Out falls down over the floor and the lighting shifts a little more blue and purple. His back sinks into the wall and that’s how he realizes it's foam - that’s also how he comes back to how utterly wrecked a foam wall would be in The Hideout. The lobby and outside hallways would be stained, too.

He finds your eyes through the crowd and can’t yet determine what his fascination with the dark lights reflecting off your skin means. He shoots you a wink. You shout into Robin’s ear before squishing through the people - a plastic water bottle crinkled in your fist.

With narrowed eyes, you ask, “You stalking me?”

“No, but there’s a party at Stacey Bennett’s this weekend,” he leans closer so the both of you can hear each other, “I’d just about die to take you.”

“What’s your sudden obsession, Munson?” you eye him from head to toe warily.

With folded arms, he shrugs, “You just look drop-dead gorgeous tonight.”

“Only tonight?”

“Yeah, usually you look hideous.”

You giggle at that and he likes to imagine the good sum his guardian angel just rolled for that to happen. Nudging Eddie in the ribs, you squeeze the plastic bottle closer to your chest, “This really isn’t your scene, Eddie. You might wanna scram.”

“I will,” he untucks his arms just to put up his hands as if they’re tied at the wrist, “but you should definitely come to the party with me.”

Mimicking a slice against his bound hands, you nod, “You can take me, if you agree to drive Robin and Barb too.”

The rush of success almost makes him hop and heel-click right in front of you, “Gladly.”

By the time you return to Diana Ross’ now fading song, Barb leans into you as Eddie did - but this feels less exciting than when Eddie did it, “What was that about?”

Cyndi Lauper’s I’ll Kiss You consumes the dance floor and Robin snickers in that cute way to make you question why people don’t flock to her as they do to Chrissy Cunningham. She punches you on the arm, “Looked like true love or something.”

“No talking about boys at The Sunrise,” you’re surprised they even let Eddie’s ass in, “But we’re going to a party this weekend, so plan something nice to wear.”

Mr. Kennedy is an English teacher from a John Hughes movie and as much as you appreciate his grounded teaching style with students - he also has bizarre ideas for final exams.

“You’ll be making a yearbook with the partner I’ve written on this slip of paper - your yearbook will have to show how your relationship has changed from now until the end of the year and how you’ve gotten to know your partner.”

A slip of folded paper is dropped on your desk with a scitter and you peel the folds apart to see a chicken scratched Eddie Munson. You raise a hand as the boy jingles over with his chain loop and dented lunchbox. Mr. Kennedy pauses mid-stroll down the aisle of desks on your left and sighs.

“Yes, Ms. Opinion on Everything?”

At that, you deflate, body wilting entirely, “I don’t have an opinion on everything.”

“Yes?”

Eddie never really noticed how Mr. Kennedy would speak to people besides himself, but when he sees you try and perk up despite his annoyance - it’s like his eleventh-grade hallucigenia-induced ego death all over again.

“Is there a page limit for the yearbook?”

Mr. Kennedy nods curtly, in the blunt way that usually got people to giggle until it was aimed at them, “Maximum six pages - full offense, I don’t feel like reading a hundred essays.”

That’s when you turn to face Eddie, brows raised and arms folded across the desk, “Dickhead, am I right?”

“Precisely what I was thinking.”

You were the one to pitch a section structure. Hobbies and interests. Favorite things. Academics and extracurriculars. And the future. Eddie could hardly say what exactly he liked about your plan but he knew it was good - something about the categorized neatness. The way he could peek at how your brain would operate.

“Wow,” he leans on one hand while you’re already jotting ideas for your yearbook, “you’re so smart and you don’t have a boyfriend yet?”

Automatically, as if he’d flipped a simple light switch, you’re groaning and drenched in sarcastic giddy, “Noooo, nobody’s even asked me out yet.”

“Now, I find that hard to believe,” he should be writing what he knows about you - Robin and Barb and the colors pink, blue, and purple - but he’s too busy trying to have you admit he’s something akin to a date.

“Well, you better get to believing it because there’s nobody in my court,” just as you’re pulling back and he’s decided to get at least some work done, you sigh, “Well…”

Eddie shoots straight, bats his eyelashes and leans forward, “‘Well’? Pray tell.”

Shaking your head, there’s a small smile on your lips - something Eddie has to search for, “Some super suave sucker asked me to Stacey Bennett’s party.”

He bats your arm like you’re lifelong friends, “That’s exciting!”

As if he isn’t talking himself up.

“Mhm,” you finally put down your pencil, both hands souped in your lap as you look into Eddie’s baby cow eyes. You find them bizarrely cute. That makes you sick, “But I’m really unsure because even though we’ve technically known each other for years, he’s only just now expressing interest,” he presses his mouth thinly and it's a crime to hide those plump lips, “It’s weird.”

“I dunno,” he drums his fingertips against the desk, “The sucker seems like a nice guy.”

But his tummy twists in knots because he knows you absolutely have a reason to be suspicious. All the same, though, you shrug and he watches a couple bricks fall out of your wall.

“Yeah… maybe.”

You two return to your yearbooks after that. Walls a little shakier than before as you jot down things you know Eddie is ostracized for and adding small oddities you’ve noticed. Metal, D&D, chains and a black bandana, pushy nature, and a strangely comforting aura. Eddie clicks his pen a few dozen times before putting down a bulleted list that looks nothing like your categorized paper.

Robin, Barb, the colors pink, blue, and purple; and a good intuition.

He wishes he had more - but he’s never claimed to be the most observant guy in the room. Briefly, he considers asking Mike if that’s something you look for in a partner.

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things x reader #10 things i hate about you #eddie.🍓#10 things i hate about you.🍹

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imglowinginthedarkness · 4 months

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revamped some of my old mlp ocs !! lil bios and whatnot under the cut (o´〰`o)♡*✲ﾟ*。

Valentine

agender! they/it

their friends call them Vee!

their talent is writing those really cheesy and dumb valentines day cards that come in packs of like 24 at michaels. at least, that’s what they tell anyone who asks

a cutie pie, knows it, and often uses their looks to get what they want

their dad is a changeling and their mom is a pony. their birth was unnatural and 70% magic

bit sketchy ngl. lil bit of a bitch. talks behind people’s backs

loves their gf Cheshire and though they tease her a lot, if anyone else says anything even kind of mean to or about her Vee will literally kill them

Cheshire

Vee’s anxious bat pony girlfriend

lives in the woods

cries when she walks into table corners

her talent is talking to rodents? she can’t talk to any other animal but rats and mice love her

kind of a dumbass but tries her best. just has no braincells

can and will dissolve into tears at any second

usually found with a multitude of scratches from various encounters with unfriendly creatures in the Everfree Forest

nonbinary! she/her

Rag Doll

everyone calls them Doll

their talent is making crochet stuffed animals

an absolute sweetheart and is, like, a suspiciously good person. they probably murdered someone in a past life

has a very gentle kind voice and lovely doe eyes

demi gal! they/she

nonbinary lesbian :)

the kind of person everyone falls at least a little bit in love with

adopted kid of Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer

Rainstorm

her friends call her Rain, her family calls her Rainstorm

mute, uses pegasus sign language to talk

gf of Sterling and basically the only pony Sterling actually gives a shit about

her talent is aerial dancing

has a twin brother called Typhoon who isn’t around much but Rain still loves him

quiet and thoughtful. very introspective and usually keeps to herself, though she’s not antisocial

is bi! used to go out with a guy from the dance studio she attends

Sterling

defensive and closed off, doesn’t like being vulnerable

gf of Rain and would literally die for her, since she’s pretty much the only person who genuinely seems to enjoy Sterling’s company

her talent is jewelry making

has had a multitude of admirers but has scared off literally every potential romantic partner (except for Rain, of course)

disaster lesbian

has been in love with Rain since they were foals

volunteers at Cheerilee’s school even though she claims she doesn’t like kids

Hazelnut Spread

goes by Hazel or Hazelnut

honestly a bit stuck up but really does mean well

more loyal to her family than anything else

claims she doesn’t like Doll because they’re “too nice”. actually secretly has a huge dumb crush on them and hates the fact that they make her feel all warm and fuzzy inside

her talent is making those super fancy crepes that look amazing but are really impractical to eat

her mom is Pinkie Pie, her bio dad is Pokey Pierce

trans-femme!

Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness

has like a hundred nicknames cause their name is a fucking mouthful. mainly goes by Marzi but is also called Mads by their family

SO loud like jesus christ bitch please fucking chill

its talent is making rock candy that doubles as hallucinogens

has ADHD and physically cannot sit still

the “rebel child” but in name only. she loves her family and they approve of everything she does (except Hazel but, you know)

pangender! they/she/he/it/xe/fae/whatever else, marzi’s not picky

xer mom is Pinkie Pie, xer bio dad is Cheese Sandwich

does a lot of ecstasy and shrooms

Chestnut

her talent is making really wonderful coffee. like it’s not fancy or anything, it’s just normal coffee, but it’s the best and most comforting you’ll ever taste

trans-femme!

very warmhearted and welcoming. has a knack for making others feel safe around her

everyone calls her by her full name, but Jagged Note calls her ‘Chex’ sometimes

constantly stressed out, deals with a lot of anxiety though she manages to hide it well. more or less. sorta

Jagged Note

Chestnut’s loving bf

known to everyone as Jay

his talent is making hyper pop scream-o music

trans-masc! he and chestnut are T4T :)

very chill and laidback, thus is the one to calm chestnut down when she gets overwhelmed

claims to be punk and badass even though he cries at that one chef boyardee commercial

#glow doodles #my litte pony friendship is magic #mlp fim #mlp next gen #mlp oc #mlp oc art #glow ocs #mlp:fim #mlp: friendship is magic #my little pony: friendship is magic #illustration

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 1 year

Text

Well. I guess today is the day I post this.

Putting this all below a cut to spare your dashes.

This statement will seem dramatic. I apologize. I don't know any other way to put this.

For a long time, I've felt unsafe in this fandom as a bisexual person.

At some point we got a new wave of people in this fandom (I can't pinpoint when since I never know anything that goes on in this godforsaken cesspit), and we started to get a growing wave of people talking about Eddie as a gay man, rather than bisexual or queer or ambiguous/unlabeled in his sexuality.

It was something I could easily ignore at first. I didn't agree with it, but I rolled my eyes and kept on keepin' on. It didn't really affect me. I had my own little corner and that was that.

But as time has gone on, it's become so popular and pervasive that every time I turn around, I'm running into it. It seems to be (but might not be, I could be wrong) the more popular interpretation of Eddie.

For example, I got an ask at the beginning of February, asking me what was wrong with gay Eddie, since it seems to be the "general consensus." Additionally, there was a podcast episode an anthropology student made where the host said that they have also seen people have generally decided Eddie is gay, not bi or queer. I'm not the only one who's noticed this and decided this is the general/most popular opinion of the fandom.

And I'm here to say that it's unbelievably hurtful.

It's not a new thing for people to dismiss Shannon. And let me tell you, it brings me no joy to defend her. I deeply, deeply dislike her and always have. But I must, because whether I like her or not doesn't matter as much as her importance to Eddie and her role in his life. Not just as Christopher's mother, but as his first love and as his wife.

However, over the past year or so there's been a serious shift within the fandom to ignore or gloss over Shannon, and to paint Eddie as a gay man who has always been gay, and never been attracted to women, and never wanted to sleep with one. Even though, canonically, he and Shannon jumped right back into bed together and wouldn't stop fucking every time they met up, despite that choice being detrimental to their relationship and preventing them from discussing important things.

Eddie was so busy fucking his wife like a rabbit in springtime that he couldn't settle down and talk with her. He fucked her repeatedly even though he didn't fully trust her with their son anymore. If that's not thinking with your dick I don't know what is.

Eddie's grief over Shannon's loss and his complicated feelings about her (his love for her vs his anger at her choices vs his own poor self-esteem) haunted him throughout season three. It's why he joined the fight club. It haunts him in season four, when he chooses to date Ana to give Chris a substitute mother even though he is not yet ready to date/move on from Shannon.

Even if I put on my Buddie shipper goggles and say, "what about Buck?" I do not think it makes any sense whatsoever for Eddie to be aware of his feelings for Buck pre-shooting. I think that is the moment he realizes what his heart wants and where he's chosen to love again. Not before.

Bobby moving on with Athena does in no way erase his love for his previous wife, and he went through a process similar to Eddie - in fact that similarity is part of why Bobby sees so much of himself in Eddie and why he tries to give Eddie advice on the subject. But I have to wonder, if Bobby had dated Michael instead of Athena, if the fandom would react the same way they do with Eddie - if they would claim Bobby was gay the whole time, and never truly felt sexual attraction for his wife.

I know Shannon is a disliked character by and large (I'm one of the people who dislikes her) and that her relationship with Eddie was complicated. Eddie wasn't always happy in his relationship with her. But neither was Athena, and yet the fact she was once attracted to and in love with Michael is never questioned.

Eddie is simply not allowed nuance in his relationship with Shannon. He is not allowed (as Bobby and Athena are) to have a complicated relationship with his spouse or to move on with another character while not denying his previous attraction to her. Eddie's relationship with Shannon is reduced to something he did because he had to, without any genuine sexual attraction, and without any sexual enjoyment. He is allowed to love her, but to never have been in love with her.

Eddie's biggest arc and piece of character development for two whole seasons (seasons two and three, arguably parts of season four) are erased.

The underlying message, whether intended or not, is that they are erased because they do not matter. And they do not matter because if they did, Eddie would be bi, or queer, or anything except 100% homosexual. And that means that the underlying message is that being gay is more important, more valid, and better than bisexuality.

I'm not saying this message is intentional. Frankly I don't think it is. I'm saying it is there.

And of course, when others have pointed out that this is hurtful and erases a big part of Eddie's history, and that therefore makes them feel ignored and erased as a bisexual person, there's been hostility. Some of it's been openly hostile and frankly feels like fighting for the sake of fighting, the kind of self-righteous love of blood in the water that has kept me a lurker in fandoms for so long.

The more insidious hurt, for me, is the people who refuse to publicly support people who call out the biphobia. They say nothing when people talk about how they're attacked for pointing out the issues with gay!Eddie, or they support both gay!Eddie and bi!Eddie sides, depending on the time of day and who's saying it. It makes me distrusting of a lot of people who try to tell me they support me. How can I believe you when you turn around and agree with the people saying Eddie's gay? Reblogging posts and championing it?

At best it feels like being accidentally hurtful while supporting/being open to multiple headcanons. At worst it feels like lying to placate me.

I don't appreciate being placated.

Fandom can give a skewed perspective on things such as representation in media. I understand that many people who identify as 6 on the Kinsey Scale have struggled deeply with repression, self-loathing, ignorance, and compulsive heterosexuality. I understand wanting that representation, especially in an older character when it feels like a lot of our media is still about queer teenagers rather than queer adults (especially queer adults over the age of thirty). And so with many slash ships having to deal with the existence of opposite-sex love interests in the characters comprising that ship, bisexuality can feel like the norm when in reality, characters who are gay (whether they always knew it or discover it later) are still much more prevalent than bisexual characters in media.

For example, in Our Flag Means Death we have Stede. In IT, Richie is inferred to be gay rather than bi (god forbid they confirm Eddie K's gayness but that's another matter...) In fact, in 9-1-1 alone, we have Michael. There's also the matter of who gets to be gay and who gets to be bi. In Glee, for example, Santana is the one who gets the nuanced coming-out story with drama and depth. Brittany, her bisexual girlfriend, doesn't get nearly as much attention or thought, and off-screen cheats on Santana in a staggering moment of biphobia (a decision the likes of which Ryan Murphy is not-so-affectionately known for).

Yet from people who headcanon Eddie as gay I repeatedly see the rallying cry of "letting us have this," as if 'this' is something they never get, or get less than bisexual people. Again, I understand the way fandom might skew things. But we cannot allow the broken goggles of fandom to, in turn, blinker our reality of the media landscape. Bisexuality is still less represented, and the wounds of "oh being with X man is nothing like all those women I was with, this is special and real" are still fresh (looking at you, Destiel shippers circa 2009-2012).

In fact as I out myself here as uh one of those veterans, I implore people to understand how this was the norm for so, so many years. Fandom has a short memory, I get it. It's hard to keep track of everything. But this embrace of bisexuality is rather recent. You look around and you see, for example, people happily joking about Dean Winchester's bisexuality. That was not always the case. For a long time, it was about perpetuating biphobia and casual misogyny as shippers wrote meta and fic about how no woman could ever make him feel like Cas does.

*pause for war flashbacks*

This was not the only instance or fandom. But I don't have time to name all the examples. My point is that there is a false collective narrative. My point is that when you are hurt, and have struggled, it can be hard to see that others have also been hurt and have also struggled. My point is that there is a continued instinct to put a certain type of character in one box and another type of character in a different box, and to try and expand the boxes, or move one character to another, is treated as a personal attack rather than an expansion of our understanding and a dismantling of our stereotypes.

Why is it always the character who has a lot of sex and/or is super comfortable on the subject of sex, or is very casual about sex, who gets to be bi/pan/fluid in sexuality? Why are bi people never allowed to be reserved, or have only one or two partners in their life?

Why is the character who is casual (or seems like they will be casual) and relaxed about sexuality the one who is labeled bisexual? Why are bisexuals never allowed to have angst around their sexuality or come out later in life? Why is our pain, our internal struggle, never allowed to be discussed?

I'm not saying Buck should be viewed as gay. I think it's correct to talk about him as bi/pan/queer. But I do think it's fair to examine why Buck's relationship with Abby is viewed in its proper important context while Eddie's relationship with Shannon is diminished and ignored.

Buck gets to talk about Abby. He gets to have genuinely been in love with her. He gets to retain that piece of his character. Eddie does not. Eddie's relationship with Shannon ended up hurting him just as much as Buck's relationship with Abby, in fact even more so, and yet people handwave that away as compulsive heterosexuality (which is not restricted to gay people, by the way, bi people experience that as well) and act like he didn't actually fall in love with her and have repeated enthusiastic sex with her.

People love to tout Ana as proof that Eddie is gay, but it doesn't matter what your sexuality is - if you aren't attracted to someone and you don't want them touching you, then you don't want them touching you. If you don't want to have sex with someone, you don't want to have sex with someone. Your sexuality doesn't matter. Just because a man is straight doesn't mean he wants to have sex with all women. Just because a man is gay doesn't mean he wants to have sex with all men. Just because a person is bi doesn't mean they want to have sex with everyone on the planet. And just because someone is asexual doesn't mean they have no libido or would never have sex at all for another reason (intimacy, fun, etc.). Sexual desire and drive are a very personal things, and both romantic and sexual attraction can play various roles or no role at all depending on the individual.

Eddie’s refusal to sleep with Ana or touch her is not a sign of him being gay as opposed to bi or queer or any other sexuality. It’s not a sign of any sexuality at all. It’s a sign that he was forcing himself into that relationship. He didn't want to be with Ana. He didn't love Ana. He didn't want to have sex with Ana.

Now, do I think how he broke up with her - his words about "the idea of us" - is insanely queer? Yes. Yes I do. And yes, for the record, I think that was deliberate on the part of the writers. But that simply says to me that he's queer. Not gay, not bi, not pan, not demi, not anything other than not straight.

To take that speech and those words and to say they could only possibly apply to a fully 100% gay man as opposed to anyone under the queer umbrella is hurtful. People's experiences as gay people are valid, and often, sadly, painful and just like Eddie's. But so are people's experiences as bi people, as pan people, as unlabeled people, as 'queer as in fuck you' people.

To wit: People ignore canonical evidence about Shannon, and claim canonical evidence about Ana as their own and no one else's, in order to support their interpretation of Eddie's sexuality.

That erases the rest of us.

I know that's hard to hear. I know that sounds like it comes with judgment. You are trying to speak your own truth, and you are identifying strongly with a character that you love, and it's hard to then hear that in doing those things, you are hurting or erasing others. I've had to hear that in my time, and I'm sure I'll have to hear it again, and it's never easy. But we must sit with this discomfort as our friend, not our foe, and use it to grow.

However, since fandom is our safe space, we often view anything and everything as a personal attack, and we often make judgments and interpretations based too strongly on our own experiences. Sometimes this is a good thing - I think the number of people who say Buck reminds them of their own ADHD are correct and that it adds great depth to his character. I'm glad Oliver has embraced it. I think the people who say Eddie speaks to their own demisexuality have a great point and I think it adds nuance to his character and behavior.

(In fact I also love trans!Buck headcanons! I think they're neat and I've read some fics I enjoyed that featured that.)

On the other hand, however, it often leads to people adding interpretations onto things that do not reflect canon or the actual character. They then view others pointing out the lack of support for this in canon, or the contradiction with canon, as a personal attack (looking at you, "Chim is abusive" people, go jump in a lake). It's hard to take that breath and recognize that not everything a character is or does or experiences is the same as what you are, or do, or have experienced. Especially when it touches on something as personal and important as our sexuality.

Because of this, I debated a long time on whether I should say something. I tried to identify the difference between what hurt me because it didn't line up with my thoughts and what hurt me because of actual stereotyping. I worked to make sure that this was more than simply taking an innocuous difference of opinion and twisting it into a personal attack.

Which brings me to why I say the word 'unsafe'. That seems like an extreme word. But I've seen people say that they "got a brain" and realized Eddie was gay, not bi. I've seen people take gifsets that mention Eddie being bi and tag them 'okay but I believe in gay!Eddie' or 'I'm a gay!Eddie truther'. I've seen people go out of their way in fics to mention Eddie disliking/being grossed out by female genitalia. I've seen fanartists put Eddie in gay colors/flags as opposed to bi/demi/etc colors/flags, on art that really didn't need it to convey the story - as if one cannot make a piece of art with Eddie on it without declaring one's opinion on his sexuality.

(Yes, I think there's a strong possibility that Eddie is demisexual. I wish people would embrace that idea more. Personally, I think he wouldn't label himself at all and simply say he was queer if asked. But given the discussion we're having right now on this post about gay/bi headcanons, I think it's clear a lot of people actually aren't as ready to embrace or consider minority sexualities as they might like to think.)

I repeat: this is not just happening on a person's own art or post or fanfic. People are reblogging posts, gifsets, and so on that mention bisexual Eddie and saying, okay but I see him as gay. They are not content to live and let live. They are actively saying they disagree. If you disagree, then why reblog the thing that talks about/mentions Eddie as bi? Why not simply leave it be?

I cannot overstate how hurtful this is; how much it feels like erasure, dismissal, and condescension.

You cannot tell me if that was something you saw about your gender, or sexuality, or so on, that you wouldn't begin to feel unsafe. That you wouldn't begin to question if you would be unheard, or dismissed, or viewed as less-than. Tell me you wouldn't start to wonder, if you were a character on a TV show, if people wouldn't erase your sexual and romantic history and ignore a big piece of yourself because certain sexualities just weren't good enough for them.

You cannot tell me that in seeing these things you wouldn't walk away with the idea that bisexuality (or other sexualities in general but bisexuality is the one brought up and to which being gay is compared in regards to Eddie) is viewed as lesser to these people, and to the community at large. You cannot tell me that some people are not internalizing this narrative, no matter what their own sexuality might be.

And, yes, reading that earlier paragraph you might say, "Mads, are you vagueing?" That is not my intention. I want to head off at the pass the rebuttal that this isn't happening. I want to cut off the demand for examples. However, I'm also not going to name names, because I don't wish to cause harm to people who I think, by and large, are well-meaning.

That's what I'm hoping is true, in writing this. That most of the people reading this, and pushing the Eddie-is-gay narrative, are well-meaning. "I'm bi myself!" many of you will say.

Yes, well. I'm a woman and I was perfectly capable of a lot of misogynistic thinking growing up, and I often fell into sexist stereotypes in my headcanons and writing and so on.

But I hope, since most of you are well-meaning, this post will instead cause you to think, and examine, and ponder.

I'm sure many people reading this are rolling their eyes and thinking, "what about the first rule of fandom? Ship and let ship? Kink tomato? Etc? Let people have different headcanons." I've certainly seen such flippant remarks from people before on this very subject in this fandom.

And the thing is, I have really tried to do that. I have tried to take it that way. But I think that it's also entirely fair for me to be hurt when a person's headcanon/interpretation ignores canon and erases a big part of a character's life and history.

I know, I know, we could get into a big philosophical discussion about how slash and femslash shipping by nature does something along those lines. But I feel that in the now-common interpretation of Eddie as gay, there is a pushing of stereotypes about both gay and bisexual people. There is a splitting of hairs on queerness. There is a subtext, whether acknowledged or not by those who push this interpretation, that being gay as opposed to a more fluid sexuality is more painful, more fraught, more challenging. That bisexuality, pansexuality, queerness as an umbrella term - those are less fraught and inherently easier. It's one of the pillars upon which exclusion in the queer community is based.

It also, generally, ignores the idea that one's sexuality can change over time. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe most people with the interpretation of Eddie as gay actually view him as being gay now and that's how he identifies now without erasing his canonical (and important) sexual and romantic attraction to Shannon. But that doesn't seem to be the case, and I certainly don't want to risk myself emotionally by trying to find out.

Not to mention that hey, when people are saying something is hurtful to them, seeing people make posts hand-waving and saying "get over yourselves, relax, take a chill pill" feels beyond condescending and dismissive.

I'd like to make it clear, I'm not asking for people to never write Eddie as gay, and that we should never see Eddie as gay again in this fandom, or that anyone who writes Eddie as gay should be dogpiled. I'm not the boss of anyone, I'm not the fandom police, I don't make the rules. But I think, when a certain behavior brings people pain - and more people than just myself, as I have learned in many private conversations - there comes a time when the least one can do is speak up about it.

Sometimes someone needs to be the one to stand up and say, "this hurts me. I am in pain, and this is why."

Again, especially when people are going out of their way to say "but I disagree, he's gay" on posts, gifsets, and so on mentioning Eddie having a different sexuality. You might feel this post is unnecessary. You might feel it's preachy. You might feel I should shut up and get off my high horse.

But the fact of the matter is when you come into someone's house tracking mud and they tell you to clean it up, you don't get to yell at them and claim they are trying to stop you from playing outside.

I kept my silence on this for a long time and part of that was I didn't want to police anyone. Now, however, we are at a point where people who think Eddie is gay are invading other people's spaces. It's not just that this headcanon is everywhere. It's not just that people are using such dismissive language when the possibility of Eddie liking women comes up. It is also that people are going out of their way to dismiss Eddie's bisexuality and argue that their interpretation is better on posts about Eddie being bi.

So frankly, I don't think anyone gets to walk away from this scoffing "don't like don't read" at me when nobody else around here is offering me that courtesy. If I could avoid reading it, I would. You came into my house, and the house of everyone else who makes a post, a fic, a gif, about Eddie being anything except a Kinsey 6.

Yes, reblogs are turned off for this. Anon is also turned off. You might say that's cutting off discussion, and you would be right. The blunt truth is I don't trust people online to respond with thoughtfulness, good faith, and care. I don't trust people to take their time and think before shooting off an emotional, defensive response. And I don't care to spend my time and energy educating people.

Maybe if I was a better person - a more social, more patient, and less private person - I would be the kind of person who would have the long hard discussions to educate and share my thoughts, to help you see my side. But that's not who I am, and I certainly don't owe it to anyone, not a single person here, to scrounge up my nonexistent trust and goodwill to have that discussion with you.

I've said my piece on this. I'm sure my tone seems harsh. The tone with which this is actually written is weariness, exhaustion, and, yes, nausea. It makes one sick and wears one down, to feel so on edge in a space and yet to try and ignore that to find joy anyway. Because I get a lot of joy in sharing my fics, and reblogging gifsets and meta, and I don't want to lose that joy.

But I suppose it needs to be said. I know others have said it, but I hope that I have said all this with enough calm and articulation that it will truly be understood, and it will not start drama or discourse, because that's not what I want. Truly. I spent enough of 2020 being dragged into one piece of bullshit drama after another. I'm not interested in wading back into that. I've kept pretty extreme radio silence for a reason.

My hope is simply for people to step back and take a long hard look at why they've decided one half of our ship is gay, and one half is bi, and what that might say about their subconscious stereotypes about gay and bi people.

If I've gotten you to do that, then this post is worth it.

I'm sorry I don't have any answers. I'm sure this would be a lot easier for people to read if I ended it with "and here's what to do moving forward." I think the desire to provide answers - for themselves and for others - is what drives people to make posts that condemn, or get aggressive, or seem to simply be out there to shut people up. People want to have a solution. They want the problem to go away.

I don't have a solution. I don't have answers for anyone. I truly wish I did. Part of why I've waited so long in posting this is trying to come up with a way to end this that would give people actionable steps. But at the end of the day, all I can really say is that I hope the people reading this will do some internal searching, and thoughtful discussion, and understand better the subconscious choices we make, the biases we hold, and how we can hurt people without meaning to.

I don't want apologies. I say that with love - I'm not looking for people to self-flagellate before me or make some kind of mea culpa post. I don't think that would help anything, and I don't think anyone owes that to me. Frankly I'm not interested in public discussion, and if there are posts others make about this, I don't want to see them.

You can make posts on your blog ranting about me (just please don't tag me, again, I don't want to see it). You can discuss this in your discord groups. You can vagueblog about me and chat about me in DMs. I don't care. I'd just like people to hear me say, "I am hurt, and you are hurting me, and I know it's not intentional, but this is why." Anything else is up to you. Any changes, in thought or behavior, are up to you. Probably nothing will change. But at least I've said something, and I've tried.

Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you have a great day. Stay safe and take care of yourself.

#I am so sorry this turned into such a manifesto #I tried to keep it succinct while also covering every possible base #to avoid misinterpretation or unkindness #but I suppose at the end of the day I am a long-winded person #who tends to over-explain everything #hopefully that over-explaining has cut down on bad faith assumptions #but with this fandom who knows #I'll probably be off tumblr for a bit because my anxiety is through the roof posting this #mads rants

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chaoslynx · 5 months

Note

Hi! I've got a question that I would like ur opinion on. A kind of post-canon ash lives au meta/hc concerning the manga timeline (so this is thru out the 80s and 90s). Say ash lives, do u think he would have a lot of internalized homophobia concerning the nature of his abuse (like thinking ALL gay ppl are predators, worrying that since he himself is mlm he's just like/will turn into his abusers, etc.)? OBVIOUSLY he would have a lot of Generic internalized homophobia bc We Live In A Society. I haven't read the main manga, but I have read angel eyes so I know that ash knows that rape/abuse is about power more than anything else, so I'm curious if he would actually struggle with the aforementioned internalized stuff, since from that remark he seems (to me, at least) to understand that gay =/= child abuser. I keep flipping back and forth between the two, because I think on one hand it's an interesting idea to explore if he DOES struggle with that, but on the other hand I want to adhere to canon ash as much as possible. Anyway, sorry this is so ramble-y (sp?) I'm just curious on what u think lol

I could definitely see an argument for it either way, but personally I don't think that Ash would really have that conflation between gay men and abuse, at least not in adulthood after meeting Eiji. For one thing, it's mentioned in Private Opinion that Ash has actually been abused by women as well. Besides that though, I think you're right to bring up Angel Eyes and how, even at the age of fifteen, Ash already understands that abuse is about power, not sex.

I do think that Ash might worry about repeating cycles of abuse -- with Eiji, with Michael, and anyone else he views as "vulnerable" (correctly or otherwise), especially as he grows older. But I don't think that this would be as tied into his bi identity as just into his overall view of himself, if that makes sense? He's seen himself kill hundreds of people, so he knows he's capable of horrible things. He's seen people he loves get hurt or die "because" of him. I think it would take a long time for Ash to learn to trust himself at all, you know? But I don't personally think that him being bi or mlm would heavily impact that.

That's not to say that it's not worth exploring still! This is just my personal interpretation based on canon and my own thoughts, but if you read this and decide that you still think it would be worth exploring with his character for any reason, you should! I don't think that it's a "wrong" interpretation at all, just not one that I personally think is likely to play out, you know?

#banana fish #ash lynx #answers #anon #csa mention #homophobia mention

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unluckyhoneybee · 2 years

Text

He should stay (MI & DR)

After pining over him for a long time, Michael and you tell Daniel to join. Smut.

Note: I know nothing about these people's sexuality, if you don't like the idea just don't read it. It's just fiction. Also, mentions of Daniel having broken up with a girl recently. I'm not talking about Heidi, again, this is just fiction.

It's long and it's unholy, beware.😉

Warning: +18. Bi Threesome, dom!Mike, sub!Dan, sub!Reader. Penetrative sex (p in v), oral (for everyone), spanking, hair pulling, choking, spitting. This is really pure smut.

"You are staring, babe" I felt a strong hand around my waist. I bit my lip and turned my head to the side. Michael kissed my cheek and I smiled.

"Don't be jealous."

"I'm not. It's me who you are coming with t the end of the night."

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

Daniel had a different look today.

"He looks better"

Michael sat on the stool and I took a place on his lap, leaning slightly on his body.

"He is. It has been weeks already. He is doing good."

I smiled. Daniel had broken up with his girlfriend recently and had been in a very low place.

"I'm happy for him"

"Are you happy for him or are you happy because he is finally single?"

I gasped and looked at my boyfriend.

"Mike..."

He smirked and kissed my lips. I kissed him back, running my tongue across his bottom lip and caressing his cheek.

This had been going on for a while. For a long time actually. Daniel was handsome, charismatic, fun and insanely hot. And he was my boyfriend's best friend who I spent a lot of time with. Long nights on his farm, partying in LA, Monaco, travelling around the world. He was so nice to me, he accepted me from minute one. And well, it wasn't difficult to start feeling funny things every time he was near.

Michael and I pulled back for air and he looked to his side, in Dan's direction.

"He is looking"

"Don't act like you are not enjoying this" I muttered. Mike had caught me staring a lot of time, yes. But so had I. He wasn't hiding the fact that his best friend and boss turned him on. Daniel was probably too oblivious.

We had talked a lot about letting Daniel in. We were both so attracted to him and we were sure he was attracted to us too. There were always lingering eyes whenever Mike and I showed some PDA in front of him. He would lick his lips and bite them. He would take deep breaths and adjust himself on his trousers.

Michael smiled and kissed me again. The party was big. There were a lot of people, but Daniel was just staring at us. He didn't care about the blonde influencer hanging on his arm.

"Do you think he is ready?"

After his break-up, Michael and I finally had a freeway with him. But we didn't want to pressure him. We wanted to give him time to heal.

"I think so". Michael said with a smile.

I kissed his cheek and bit my lip, feeling my nerves forming on my stomach.

"Do you want to do it today?"

"Maybe we should talk to him first"

He nodded and kissed my forehead.

"We will talk to him tomorrow"

Being friends with a rich Formula 1 driver had his perks. Like having a bedroom in a big farmhouse in Australia, for example.

Michael wasn't in the bed anymore, he had probably woken up early to go and train with Daniel. I found them by the pool with bowls of fruit and juice, waiting for me to wake up.

"Hey sleeping beauty" Daniel said when I opened the door.

"Good morning, guys"

I kissed Mike's lips and then moved to Dan, kissing his cheek.

"Have you slept well?" Michael asked.

"Like a baby"

He bit his lip. He was teasing. Not me though, he was teasing Daniel. Michael had fucked me to oblivion last night, just to make sure Daniel heard everything. Today was the day. Today we will invite Daniel to our bed.

Daniel cleared his throat and took a sip of his orange juice.

I sat next to Mike and took a grape from his bowl. I saw Daniel's eyes following it to my lips and then watching how I ate it slowly. Mike had a tight grip on my thigh. He was watching too.

"Have you trained already?"

"Your boyfriend woke me up at 6 am."

I gasped and looked at Michael.

"He is on his break, Michael!"

"He needs to stay fit." He laughed.

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry Dan. We can watch films and eat tons of ice cream later." I said smiling.

"You are way much nicer than him, YN"

I looked at Mike and laughed.

But Michael bit his lip and gave me the look. Now. He wanted to do it now.

"Daniel" Michael cleared his throat and grabbed my hand. "We want to talk to you about something"

Daniel looked up from his bowl. He had tensed a bit and his mind seemed to be running.

"Are you pregnant?" He asked. "Or are you going to marry?"

"No. Any of them, Daniel" I said smiling a bit.

Michael looked at me and took a deep breath.

"We want to propose something to you"

I could see how Daniel's breath hitched in his throat. He had been fast catching what Mike meant.

"YN and I..."

I looked at Michael. For once he didn't have the right words.

"Daniel, we are both super attracted to you. And maybe this makes things weird because Mike and you are best friends. But... We have seen things too. We have seen you and how you react to us and we thought that maybe you felt like that too"

Daniel was frozen. Only his eyes moved between Michael and me. The air was tense. I was sure Michael wasn't breathing. His hand was slightly shaking on my leg and his lips were pressed on a thin line.

"What do you exactly want?" Daniel said after a while.

Michael and I looked at each other. This time it was him who spoke.

"We want you, Daniel"

I felt a shiver. Hearing my boyfriend say those words... Daniel gasped and leaned back on his chair.

"Like... A threesome?"

I nodded and the driver bit his lip.

"Fuck" He said under his breath. "Now? Here?"

I tried to not laugh. He seemed so eager.

"Whenever and wherever you want. And only if you are sure of it." Michael said.

Daniel took a sip of his juice and looked away. I looked at Michael and he showed me a tight smile.

"And how would it be?" He looked at us with such an intensity that made me clench my thighs. "You said you both are attracted to me."

"We are. Me too" Mike said. I knew it was a big step for him to take. To confess this to his long time friend. So I grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles. "But we can ignore that if you feel uncomfortable. We had done it other times"

With other guys, Michael had just focused on me. He knew about boundaries and he respected them.

"Other times? Like with other guys?"

"And girls too." I said.

"I knew you two were kinky as fuck"

I laughed a bit and Michael seemed to relax.

"What do you say, Dan? You can take your time"

"I'm in. For whatever you have for me"

I felt my heart quickening and Michael had to adjust himself on the chair. I looked at him. Daniel hadn't said if he wanted Michael.

"But what about Mike?" I asked.

Daniel looked at him and I swear I saw fire behind his eyes.

"I already say I'm in, mate" Michael relaxed and nodded slowly.

And now what?

Somehow, it was already middle afternoon and nothing had happened yet apart from touches here and there and flirty comments. I was on the edge. I needed them. I have been sitting on a wooden hammock for a while and now that they were both in the pool, simply talking and sharing a beer (yes, sharing a beer). It was getting worst. I had seen them passing that bottle a dozen times already. At some point, Daniel said something that was super fun for Michael and he leaned on his body laughing. I gasped. They were so close, they were looking at each other in the eyes and I was sure about what was going to happen.

A second later, Daniel had pressed his lips to Michael's. I sat straight on the chair. It was probably one of the best things I had seen.

Michael was dominant. He was a control freak in everything he did, so he was fast grabbing Daniel by the back of his neck. I could perfectly see their tongues moving together, Daniel's hands on Mike's waist. If I hadn't spent the whole day with them, I would think I was dreaming.

Michael ran his hand through Daniel's hair and pulled away, sucking his lower lip between his. Daniel was panting and looking at him with hooded eyes. He had probably already felt how things were with Mike. I was sure he had always seen glimpses of how he was during these past years.

"Are you enjoying the show, pretty girl?" I heard my boyfriend say without even looking at me. My bikini bottom was already wet and not because of swimming.

"I am"

"Look at her, Danny."

Daniel turned his face to me. His lips were red and swollen and he was blushing.

"Isn't she beautiful?"

"She is so fucking pretty, Michael"

"And you have her now. She wants you. Do you know how many times I had caught her looking at you?"

Daniel swallowed without taking his eyes off me. I was shivering. This was happening. I had my boyfriend and his best friend, both insanely good looking men, watching me from the pool and thinking about fucking me.

Michael pushed Daniel and trapped him against the pool edge, back to the chest. Then he attached his neck, leaving kisses and bites everywhere. On that neck. That delicious neck. After teasing Daniel the whole day he was teasing me now. He knew this would drive me crazy.

"Look at her."

"I'm looking at her" Daniel muttered with a hoarse voice. He seemed in a trance as Michael devoured his neck.

"She is desperate for you." Michael said. "But she is such a good girl. She won't step in until I tell her so"

Michael sucked his earlobe and Daniel whined. I bit my lip and whined too. I needed to be touched. To kiss and be kissed like that.

"He is so hard, baby." He said looking at me now. I could see his hand, but by Daniel's expression, I knew that it was on him.

I sat on the edge of the hammock. I wanted to jump to them.

"And you were so right. He is big"

Daniel opened his eyes and looked at me. I moaned.

"Michael please..." I pleaded.

"Please what, honey? What do you want?"

"You. I want both of you"

"Did you hear that? She wants us"

Daniel nodded and gasped. Mike was touching him and I was so fucking jealous.

"You are gonna be a good boy now, okay?"

Daniel nodded again.

"She just wants to pleasure you. Go to her. "

Daniel was fast leaving the pool, the water dripped from his body and I swear I could just cum from that picture.

I looked at Michael for a second. He was resting against the pool's edge now, both arms on it and his chin on his hands. I was looking at Daniel in the same way as I did.

"Babe, be good and show him how nice that mouth of yours is, okay?"

"Fuck" I head Daniel breath out.

I sat and looked at Daniel. Finally.

"Come here, Danny" I said with a sweet voice.

He smiled and came closer, standing in front of me. His swim truck made nothing to hide his hard-on. Little drops of water decorated his chest and abdomen. And fuck, Michael had done a good job training him.

Daniel reached his hand to my face and moved my hair away. He was just observing me, like trying to learn every single mark on my face.

"You are beautiful"

I smiled.

"Thank you, Danny"

With a fast glance at Mike, I saw him smiling at us.

Michael was dominant, but not in an aggressive way. He loved control, he loved to be obeyed. He had immense patience and never pressured me or anyone else. He knew that people had different times for everything. And now, after telling us what to do, he would just wait and see what happened.

I leaned and pulled Daniel's swim trucks. His cock sprung free in front of me. Mike was right. He was big. It made my mouth water.

"Be slow, YN. Make him want you. I want to hear him beg"

Daniel looked at Michael and then at me. I gave him a sympathetic look and he swallow hard. I showed him my tongue with a smile on my mouth and slowly ran around the tip of his member. He bit his lip and breathed through his nose. I obeyed Mike, starting with soft licks. Daniel was already leaking with precum. He was desperate for us. I was sure he wouldn't last long.

"Why don't you suck him a bit, don't be shy."

I circled his tip with my lips and sucked softly.

"You have a beautiful mouth, YN" Daniel said.

I smiled pressing my tongue on the underside and licking a long stripe.

"Mmm, fuck" He gasped.

I sucked the head again, moving my head up and down slowly and humming to add vibration.

Daniel had started playing with my hair and it felt so good to have him like this. I could feel how he wanted to push his hips further, how he wanted more. His chest was heaving with deep breaths. Little drops of water fell from his hair to my legs and face. He looked like a god and I was dying for making him feel good.

Using my tongue, I moved a bit faster. I heard Michael chuckling.

"Eager, are we?"

I took my mouth off Daniel and spat on his member.

"Fuck..." Daniel looked at Michael as I started jerking him. "Michael please"

"Please what"

"I need more"

I sucked the tip again feeling the salty taste on my tongue.

"Fuck. Please. She is so good"

Michael pushed himself out of the water and both Daniel and I gasped. He looked like a fucking Calvin Klein model.

"She is. Do you think he is being good, baby?" He said walking behind Daniel and sliding his hand around his waist.

"I think he is being so good, Michael" I said batting my eyelashes.

Michael reached his hand to me and run his finger over my bottom lip. I opened my mouth and he slid it in. I sucked it.

"Okay then. Give him more. Show him what you can do" With a soft pop, he pulled the finger out of my mouth and I smiled.

"Can... Can I kiss her?" Daniel asked turning his face to the side. I felt a shiver.

Mike laughed a bit.

"Ask her, not me"

"Can I kiss you?" He said looking down to me.

I nodded slowly, too mesmerized by his brown eyes to speak.

"Use your words, baby"

I heard Michael say.

"Yes, Danny. You can kiss me." The driver leaned and crashed our lips. I moaned at the contact. It was so different to Mike. I closed my eyes tight and ran my hand through his hair, pulling a bit. He groaned and deepened the kiss. His tongue slid into my mouth. I was kissing Daniel only a few minutes after Michael had done it.

Daniel's kiss was consuming. He was all tongue and lips. Those plump lips... I couldn't believe I was kissing him.

But it didn't last long. I felt a hand on my hair, gripping softly at the ends and pulling me away from Daniel's lips. Soon, they were replaced by my boyfriend's kissing me with passion. When he broke away from me, he turned to Daniel and kissed him too.

I bit my lip. It was a sight to be seen.

Then Mike turned once again to me and grabbed my chin. I knew what he wanted, so I opened my mouth and showed him my tongue. He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Good girl." He then kissed me again before letting his saliva drip into my tongue. "Now suck him how you know"

I looked up at Daniel, who was looking at my mouth stunned. Michael laughed a bit and kissed his cheek.

I took Daniel's member in my hand again and slowly slid it into my mouth. Without much warning, I closed my lips around his tip and sucked before pushing him to the back of my throat. He let a loud moan out and I felt a wave of pleasure running over me.

"That's it, baby." Michael said pushing my hair from my face. I pulled Daniel about and jerked him a bit as I took air. Then I slid him in again and start moving my head. Daniel was big, not as thick as Michael, but big.

Daniel tried to grab my face, but Michael slapped his hands away.

"No, Danny."

"Fuck" Daniel breathed out. "Why?"

"Because I tell you so. Keep your hands to yourself and she will reward you. Right?"

I took Danny off my mouth and kissed the tip of his cock.

"If you are good you get to cum. If you are not, you don't" I said grinning. Only once Michael had left me hanging. Only once.

"Keep going" Michael said.

I loved him being like this.

I resumed my work on Danny's cock, making it even sloppier now. Spit was dripping from the edge of my mouth and I couldn't void to gag when I took him too deeply.

"It feels so good, YN. So so good." He cried in pleasure.

Michael was hugging Daniel's waist and peaking his head over his shoulder.

What I wasn't expecting was him to cup the back of my head and make me stay still, Danny's cock still resting on my tongue dripping with pre cum. He would cum soon.

"Now, if YN wants, you can fuck her mouth. What do you say, baby?"

"N-No, don't pressure her..." Daniel said.

It was strange but arousing to see Daniel in this state. He was completely submissive to Michael now.

"No pressure. A no is a no."

"Yes." I said looking at Daniel, who gasped and looked at Michael.

I jerked Daniel slowly meanwhile Michael turned his face to him.

"Don't you dare to hurt her, right? To taps in your leg and you stop. Any weird sound, you stop. Any sign of discomfort, you stop. And you better not make me stop you"

Michael was protective. Daniel was his friend, but he would doubt if he hurt me. He had pulled a guy from me before and he would do it again.

"I won't. I won't hurt her. I couldn't"

"I know, Danny. I trust you. But I must tell you"

Michael leaned and kissed me once more before letting me take Daniel in my mouth again. The driver cupped my cheeks and started moving his hips, slowly fucking my mouth and pulling whimpers out of my lips. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my breathing. Daniel was so gentle, his thumbs drawing circles on my cheeks.

"She feels so good. Such a pretty mouth"

"Yeah, right?"

"Oh... fuck" He pushed deeper and I felt him twitching on my tongue. I moaned.

"Do you want to cum, Danny?"

"I do"

I opened my eyes to look at them. Michael was talking right on his ear and his hand was now around Dan's strong neck. I clenched my thighs.

"Cum then"

Daniel was fast cumming in my mouth, keeping me in place and buckling his hips until my nose touches his pubic bone. I felt the ropes of cum in my mouth as he groaned and moaned my name.

"Shit, YN. Fuck"

When he let me pull away, I was panting for hair but extremely satisfied. I had just made Daniel Ricciardo cum.

I cleaned the corners of my mouth with my fingers and swallowed, showing them then my tongue and smiling.

"Fuck. You are so perfect" Daniel whispered touching my swollen lips.

I felt my heart beating faster when Michael added his fingers to my cheek, gently whipping away the tears.

"I told you she was so fucking great." Michael groaned on Danny's neck. I bit down a smile.

Daniel was still trying to recover. He was leaning against Michael's chest, who was supporting his weight and rubbing circles on his abdomen.

"Wow." He said smiling.

"Wow, yeah" Michael laughed.

"How are you feeling?" Daniel looked down at me and touched my chin.

Michael smiled widely. This had been the right decision.

"I'm good, Daniel. You treated me so well" I said smiling and caressing his thighs.

"She was good to you too. Don't you think she deserves something too?"

"Fuck yes."

I swallowed looking at both men in front of me.

"What are you thinking about, princess?"

"About how fucking beautiful the two of you are. It's insane."

Both of them wet, hair dripping water, Daniel naked, their lips red and swollen from kissing...

"So are you, princess." Michael kissed me, slowly pushing me back on the hammock till I was laying on it. I didn't know what he had in mind now, but I was more than eager. When he pulled back, he gestured for Daniel to sit on his place and cupped his chin.

"Now I want you to pleasure her. She deserves to cum after what she did to you"

"Fuck yes, she does."

I smiled feeling the blush creeping to my cheeks. Michael reached his hand to me and caressed my face, slowly dragging his fingers down my neck and chest, pushing the bikini top aside and freeing my breasts. He gave one of them a playful slap and I chuckled a bit.

Daniel was amazed looking at us. He was cute like this. He was this noisy hyperactive man who seemed to have lost every word in his vocabulary now.

Mike pinched one of my nipples softly and I moaned a bit.

"Damn, you are so cute." Danny said under his breath and Mike and I laughed a bit.

Michael kept moving his fingers down my abdomen and Daniel's eyes followed them. He gulped when Michael skipped the edge of the bikini bottom. Instead of slipping his fingers inside, he caressed me slowly over the clothing. I bit my lip and as a reflex took my hands to my breasts looking for more stimulation. Michael moved his fingers up and down, making more pressure on my clit and sending waves of pleasure over my whole body.

"Fuck..."

"You are so needy, aren't you?"

"Yes..."

He looked at Danny then.

"Do you want to know why?"

"Why?"

"She has been talking for months about you, about how hot you are and how horny you make her, about how much she wanted to see us together..."

Daniel's hand grasped my thigh hard and I whimpered. His semi-hard member was coming to life again.

"You had to see her after every training session, mate"

Daniel looked up at Michael.

"I can bet she thinks she is dreaming now"

I nodded slowly, taking one of my fingers to my mouth and bitting it. It was so hot to see Michael talking like this.

Daniel ran his hand up my side and gently cupped my breast.

"Should I pinch her? To make sure she is awake"

Michael smirked and nodded. I felt a rush of heat over me. Daniel pinched my nipple a bit harder than Mike and I moaned.

"Fuck"

"Go on, give her what she deserves"

Daniel nodded eagerly and grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to the edge of the hammock and helping me to get comfortable on the soft mattress.

"Don't you dare to make her cum before I come back. I'm going to get some condoms." And with that, my boyfriend left us alone. For the first time, Mike had let me alone with someone else.

Daniel looked at me and I reached for his face.

"Is he always like this?" He started untying my bikini bottoms.

I nodded and bit my lip.

"You are lucky, YN"

I gasped a bit. I wasn't expecting something like that.

"Dan..."

He sighed a bit and kissed my belly.

"Thank you for all of this"

I cupped his cheeks and kissed him. His hands were fast to get rid of my bottom and let it fall. His tongue was playing with mine and the kiss was turning more and more hungrier.

By surprise, one of his fingers came to my groin.

"Dan... Touch me please" I said looking at his brown eyes. They were darker than Michael's, which had a softer honey colour.

Daniel pushed me into the mattress and kissed the valley of my breast. With wet and sloppy kisses he made his way to my centre, attacking it like a starved man. Daniel was so fucking good at this. His tongue and lips were experts in the job. It was insane how good he made me feel with only a minute.

"Wow. Look at what you are doing to her" I was gasping for air when I felt Michael's presence. He sat next to me and put my head on his lap, caressing my face slowly. I grabbed his free hand with mine. "How good is he at this?"

"So fucking good, Mike." I gas a moaning mess. Danny had to keep my legs open because it was impossible for me. They wanted to close around his head.

Daniel hummed and the vibrations made me scream his name.

"Okay, stop eating her out. Pull back"

Daniel was fast obeying, but I groaned frustrated.

"Patience, baby girl" Mike kissed my forehead. "Now Danny, get those fingers of yours wet, come on. I'm sure she is wet enough to help you"

I looked down at Danny and he looked at me. He ran his fingers up and down my slit and I whimpered. I was so sensitive.

"Good boy. Put them in. But be very slow. Make her beg"

Oh Michael.

Daniel smirked and gave my knee a soft bit before pushing his fingers on my entrance. He was slow as Mike had told him. I was so wet that it wasn't difficult for him to bottom them. When they were knuckle deep, he pulled back a bit and pushed them in again.

"D-Danny..."

I was shaking.

"What?" He muttered softly.

"I need more"

"YN, you can do better than that" Michael said running his finger over my jaw.

"Please Daniel, give me more"

Daniel smiled and moved his fingers, not faster but from a different angle. He was pressing directly against my G-spot.

"Oh yes!" I moaned. Mike slid his finger inside my mouth and I sucked it. Soon he had pressed it against my clit and was moving him in tandem with Daniel.

"Fuck" I was desperately trying to grab into something as the two men kept stimulating me. My eyes were closed and my breath was ragged.

"That's it, baby. Be good and Daniel will make you cum. How do you want it"

"His mouth"

Daniel groaned.

"You heard her" Mike gave my clit a soft slap that almost made me faint because of the sudden contrast with Daniel's mouth only a second later.

My hips were moving on their own against Daniel's mouth and fingers.

"Danny! Fuck... So good. It feels so good"

I opened my eyes to see Michael's hand on Dan's hair, keeping him in place and letting me ride my orgasm. His nose nudged on my clit in the most delicious way as his tongue lapped me. His fingers were doing exactly what felt the best and his eyes were closed as he moaned in contentment.

"I'm cummin, Dan. I'm cumming. You are so good. Fuck, Mike!"

I came hard. So hard my vision went blank for a few seconds. I was glad to be on the farm in the middle of nowhere because my moans were loud.

"There you go, pretty girl"

Mike didn't let Dan go until I had calmed down a bit.

"Fuck." He was panting for air and blushing. "You are delicious, YN"

"Let me taste" I whispered. He smiled and reached his fingers for me to suck them clean. At the same time, Michael grabbed him by the back of his neck and kissed him. I witnessed their tongues playing together and Michael licking into his mouth in the most erotic way.

"I wanted a taste too" He whispered over Dan's lips.

Daniel was a mess. He was covered in sweat and his hair was unruled. His lips were swollen and his cheeks red. His member was standing against his abdomen red and leaking ready for another round.

"I-It was amazing." I muttered out of breath. Daniel's hand was on my chest and I was sure he could feel my heart beating faster and faster. He nodded slowly.

"Now is my turn, isn't it? I want to fuck my girl"

I whimpered. Mike was an expert at making me cum a thousand times in a row.

"Mind sitting right there, Daniel?" He said gesturing to a chair.

"Closer, please. I want him closer." I begged looking at Mike with my best puppy eyes.

"Whatever you want babe"

Daniel pulled a chair next to the hammock and sat in there, observing our movements.

Michael stand up and I propped myself on my elbows to watch him. Knowing exactly what he was doing to us, he took his swim trucks off very slowly. I heard Daniel gasp a bit and I looked up at him with a smile.

"He is perfect, right?"

He nodded slowly. When I looked back at Mike he was slightly blushing. He really liked Daniel.

Michael put the condom on and kneeled between my legs.

"Daniel got you so ready for me"

I nodded.

Michael pushed his member in and I moaned high because of the overstimulation.

"Shit, you are so perfect, YN." He said massaging my breast. "Can't wait for you to feel her, Daniel"

I moaned as he pushed hard. I felt Danny's hand on my hair and looked up. He was jerking himself as he played with my hair.

"Can't wait to feel her"

Michael crashed our lips and gave me the most passionate kiss ever. He was a strong man, he trained hard and had stamina, so the pace he used to set during sex was insane. He always made a mess out of me, I couldn't even speak. I tried desperately to grab into his strong body as he leaned to kiss my neck and shoulders.

"Fuck guys. You look so good." I heard Daniel moaning but I couldn't pay attention to him. My boyfriend fucking me as if he hadn't done it in months had clouded my senses.

The sounds that left Mike's voice were delicious and they told me he was getting closer, but so was I.

"I'm close, Mike. I'm so close."

"You want to come again? You don't have enough with Daniel?"

"I want you both... I want you to make me cum too" I looked at Daniel and he touched my face gently. I grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"Then cum, baby. Cum for me too and I will let you cum for Daniel again"

The driver and I moaned at his words. Michael's trusts were becoming more erratic but as intense as they were are the beginning.

"Fuck. I'm going to cum too. Seeing both of you made me so hard..."

I whimpered. I was close, so close.

Only a few more trust were necessary for us to come undone. Michael kissed me as he always did before pulling back a bit. I hugged him closer, needing his warm body at this moment. The comfort he gave me during the climax was like no one.

"Fuck..." Daniel whispered. I opened my eyes to look at him and he smiled, pushing a few strands of hair out of my face.

When Michael calmed down a bit he pulled out of me and kneeled back between my legs.

"You are always so perfect, baby" He said and kissed my knee. I smiled.

"You both are..." Daniel grunted.

I looked at him. He was jerking himself hard and it was a glorious picture.

"Daniel... Fuck me."

"Do it mate. You deserve it."

"Can I, really?"

Michael and I nodded. I sat on the hammock and Michael kissed me for a second, a soft and reassuring kiss on the lips accompanied by a warm smile.

Daniel took a deep breath and got up. Surprisingly, Mike kissed him just as he had kissed me. It felt so domestic. So real.

"How do you want it, Daniel?" Michael asked passing him a condom. Daniel put it on and looked at me.

"On your fours, please. I want to see that ass."

Michael chuckled and looked at me.

"Told you I caught him staring"

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Don't embarrass him, idiot"

Daniel laughed too.

I smiled at that and turned around. Michael sat in front of me in the hammock. I giggled my eyes and both of them looked at it. I smiled proudly because both of them were at my mercy.

"You know? She likes to be spanked once in a while" Michael pulled the strings of my bikini top and threw it away.

I bit my lip and laughed a bit. The hammock croaked when Daniel settled next to me. I felt his hand on my ass cheek and embraced myself for what would come. A second later, his fingers hit the flesh and I moaned.

"Fuck, Danny"

"Are you ready?"

"I am"

After two orgasms I was more than ready. When he entered me, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. The overstimulation, the angle and Daniel's member were perfect. I was sure I wouldn't last long.

"She already likes it, mate"

Daniel laughed a bit before starting to thrust slowly into me.

"That's it, let her get used to you"

Michael's voice sounded tired. I looked at him and smiled softly. He leaned and kissed my forehead.

Daniel was moving slowly and caressing my back at the same time. It was as if he wanted to learn how it felt to touch my skin.

"You feel so good, YN. You were so right Michael, she is perfect."

I whined. Michael had started playing with my nipples.

"Go harder. She likes it"

Daniel was obedient, setting a deep and hard pace that made me moan and lose my breath for a second. I couldn't think properly, I was consumed by the pleasure and both men touching me in their own way. At some point, Daniel pulled me to his chest, hugging me closer and rubbing my clit hard. Michael was peacefully observing with a smile. Daniel's moans on my ear were delicious and only fuelled me.

"Danny..."

"I'm almost there, YN. Wait a bit"

It didn't take us long to cum.

"Fuck, fuck. YN."

I wasn't able to say a word. My third orgasm hit like a tsunami and I couldn't even keep myself up.

Michael opened his arms and Daniel let me fall on them before laying on my other side. Trapped between the two men's bodies, I recovered slowly. I had time to realize what we have done, how good it felt and how difficult would it be to just go back home with Mike alone.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost missed Danny and Mike tangling their fingers together on my side.

"How are you feeling?" Mike softly asked.

"I think I died and went to heaven"

"Give me a kiss"

They had kissed countless times. I looked at them. There was just love and care in this kiss, no further intentions and it made me wonder if things could go back to normal now. Even if I wanted it to do. I kissed Mike's cheek and they looked at me.

"You are so precious" I said also kissing Daniel's cheek.

We gave ourselves a few minutes of tranquillity before Michael got up.

"I'm going to get some food ready."

"He is also like that after sex?" Daniel asked looking at me.

I laughed and looked at Michael, who had put his swimsuit on and was smiling from the door.

"Shut up or he will come with supplements."

Daniel laughed hard.

Once again, Mike left us alone.

"Do you feel good, YN? With all of this?"

I looked at him.

"I've never felt better, Danny" I touched his nose gently and he nodded.

"You both are amazing, really. He is right, you are perfect. Not only in a sexual way. I wish I could have something like that"

Something inside of me moved, but I didn't know what to answer.

He sighed and kissed my forehead.

I was sure then. I had to talk to Michael.

"Do you mind if I shower?"

"Don't worry, I will go and see if I can get some Nutella" I winked at him.

"I beg you. I need a whole tub after this"

I rolled my eyes and got up. Daniel walked to the outdoor's shower in his full glory and I gave myself a second to admire his figure. Putting only the bottoms on, I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey..." I hugged Michael's side and kissed his shoulder. "How are you feeling?" I knew this could be draining for him, I couldn't imagine how it had been with someone as close as Daniel.

"Well. Amazing, really. It was something else." I leant asking for a kiss and I gave it to him.

"It was"

I took a deep breath and looked at Daniel. He was showering. The sunset light was bathing him. He looked so perfect.

"Mike" I swallowed the lump in my throat. "He should stay"

I looked up at him.

"We are at his house"

I rolled my eyes.

"I don't mean it like that. I say that he should stay with us. The three of us"

He stared at me for long seconds.

"You think he wants?"

I nodded slowly.

"He told me I was lucky to have you and then that I'm perfect. Not just sex. He wants something like what we have"

Michael engulfed me in his strong arms and let a shaky breath out.

"I want him to stay"

I cupped his cheeks and kissed him.

"Let's tell him, then"

Inviting Daniel to our bed (or his pool hammock) had been the best decision Michael and I had made in our relationship.

When we walked outside, hand in hand and called him, he hesitated a bit. He needed me to reach my hand for him to take to walk closer.

"Is everything okay?"

Michael hugged my waist at the same time he pulled him for a kiss. I took the opportunity to leave a loving kiss on Daniel's shoulder and run my hand up and down his back.

"What is going on?" He whispered.

"Would you like to give it a try, Daniel?" I asked.

"To what?" He asked with a shaky voice.

"Us. The three of us"

He needed long seconds of his eyes moving between us and the gears working on his head.

"Fuck yes"

And he kissed me then.

I hadn't been so happy in a really long time.

Here you have this. I hope you enjoyed it.

Next and last part: He stays.

#daniel ricciardo #michael italiano #mi #dr #smut #f1 smut #fic #I'm not sorry about this.

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queenofcarrotflowers-s · 7 months

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hello~ I am returning to tumblr, the place of my youth, after a good few years away. this feels like a homecoming in a weird way because tumblr had such a big impact on myself and my identity growing up, and honestly I haven't had a place I could explore my thoughts in the same way in awhile. but my dash has become quite dead while I was gone so I'm looking for new mutuals/people to follow.

(also, if we've been mutuals and you're still here and you see this, please feel free to say hey!)

so let me (re-)introduce myself—my name is mikayla or mik (she/they is cool), and I am 28 years old and a public librarian + union steward in my daily life. I'm bi and currently living with my sweet partner of three-and-a-half years. we have two cats that I deeply adore, named snickers and lorelei. snickers is a big, beautiful former cat beauty pageant runner-up and lorelei is a tiny gal who was rescued from the streets as a teen mom. caring for them gives me so much purpose in my life and I don't know where I'd be without them! anyways, let me pay the cat tax:

(left: lorelei, right: snickers—in a rare moment of peace and camaraderie!)

I deal with chronic fatigue and other issues from an autoimmune thyroid disorder (Hashimoto's) and was recently diagnosed with anxiety/persistent depression/ADHD, which I mention here not because I think anyone wanted my entire medical history but because I hope to write about my experiences and possibly connect with others living with chronic illness, mental health struggles, and/or neurodiversity, as well.

current interests under the cut! if you're into any of the same things, please feel free to reach out / follow! I'd love to meet some new moots/friends :~)

some of my current interests include: cross-stitch/embroidery, latch hook rug-making, creative reuse art, art journaling, cats, libraries, dollhouse miniatures, zumba fitness, union organizing, socialism/communism, thrifting and antique/vintage collecting, interior design and organization, cryptids, folk art, graphic novels, tattoos (I currently have 19), podcasts & audiobooks, dungeons & dragons, country line dancing (I went to one queer country dance party and am now obsessed lol)

video games: baldur's gate 3 (hyperfixating hard on this one rn), disco elysium, paradise killer, stardew valley, animal crossing: new horizons

tv shows: what we do in the shadows, beastars, sex education, yellowjackets, abbott elementary, stranger things, the boys, i think you should leave, the bear, cutthroat kitchen, good eats, tuca & bertie, bojack horseman, black mirror, toast of london, rupaul's drag race, the good place, schitt's creek

authors: grady hendrix, jeanette winterson, lisa hanawalt, michael deforge, lucy knisley, box brown, agustina bazterrica, patricia polacco, brian k. vaughan, sylvia plath, mary roach, caitlin doughty, patricia lockwood, haruki murakami

music: andrew bird, kate bush, yebba, weyes blood, bright eyes, lucy dacus, fleet foxes, remi wolf, fiona apple, hozier, benny sings, gus dapperton, orville peck, father john misty, dolly parton, loretta lynn, madison cunningham, mac miller, the decemberists, the magnetic fields, ABBA, cheekface, wild child, chappell roan, the chicks, villagers, fleece, the growlers, peach pit

podcasts: and that's why we drink, beach too sandy water too wet, ridiculous crime, dimension 20, behind the bastards, welcome to night vale, last podcast on the left, sounds like a cult

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an-eldritch-peredhel · 11 months

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Sky Shinies, V2

For @aspecardaweek Day 3: Across the A-spectrum, I decided to redraw the second piece of Tolkien fanart I ever posted, two years ago for this very event! Check back in 2025 to see if I keep up the pattern.

Since Ainur are basically angels I've decided they're all pretty much ace (with varying degrees of interest- Melian) and arospec if only because they don't conceptualize relationships in the same way we do, and the majority of elves are demi/grayspec.

Arien: Sapphic oriented aroace, recipromantic

Earendil: Bi demi-rose

Tilion: Achillean oriented aroace, lithoromantic, aroflux

[id. A full-body pencil drawing of Arien, Earendil, and Tilion. Arien is inspired by a lion, with digitigrade legs, paw pads, and claws. She has a crown of horns and fire burning on her head, limbs, and the tip of her tail. Tilion has bat ears and feet with a leaf-shaped nose, horns curling around his ears and another set twisting upwards, and dark blotches on his skin. Their arms are linked as they shoot finger guns. Earendil stands in front of them, head barely reaching their elbows as he waves with one hand and holds a telescope in the other. He's black, with braids pulled back in a ponytail and a small beard. The silmaril shines from a circlet on his forehead, and he wears Ancalagon's skin as an armored vest and skirting. end id.]

Rambles, comparison, and closeups under the cut!

[id. Three closeups on Arien, Earendil, and Tilion's faces respectively to show details. Arien has freckles and her eyes appear to be glowing behind her sunglasses, Earendil has eyebags, faint laugh lines, and scars, as well as individually lined scales on his vest, and Tilion has fangs, earrings. and diamond-shaped pupils with black sclerae. end id.]

[id: a comparison of the full drawing above to the original, which ends around Earendil's knees but otherwise has near-identical composition. Arien looks significantly more human, Tilion is missing his horns, and Earendil is white with a less structured outfit. end id.]

I was mostly going off of memory redrawing this, which is why their poses are slightly different but honestly I prefer this even if it isn't strictly accurate. Winner for biggest design overhaul is a tie between Arien and Earendil, because excluding Tilion's horns (which I would have originally included if I had remembered Tilion literally means "horned one") he's hardly changed, though tragically I took away some of his jewelry for practicality.

Past!Earendil's unintentional Michael Jackson nose haunts me, though I do kinda miss his stupid wave hair. I'm much happier with his dragonscale vest thingy now (though I realized too late that Ancalagon's scales would be much larger, oh well), I've had time to think through the various elven cultural aesthetics and I'm very pleased with his multi-combo of cultures that still gives him the vibes I wanted. Stupid pointy-toed noldorin boots are so hard to draw right but I love them so much

Arien has also been overhauled but given that they change how humanoid their fana looks depending on if they're hanging around incarnates or not the original is still technically close to that form? Horn crown and significantly more fire has been added in homage to her balrog siblings alongside everything else, but like Tilion her outfit change is minimal and the vibes stay the same.

Unrelated but a funny side note: as I have become increasingly aware of Pokemon Knowledge, I have realized that Solgaleo and Lunala unintentionally map really really well onto my Arien and Tilion. Yes this is because lion/day/sun | bat/night/moon symbolism is obvious, but I'm leaning into it. Earendil works shockingly well as Ultra Necrozma, too.

#aspecardaweek #arien #tilion #earendil #my art #this is my first time id-ing my art so i hope it's decent #arien being genderfluid makes orientation complicated but i think sapphic still suits them best even as auron #and tilion is still achillean even though he doesn't lose all alterous feelings for him the moment he becomes arien again #they're both just. so so so gay.#tilion is genderflux as well as aroflux- it's related to his moon gig #ainur gender and attraction is hard #im not gonna chart out the whole sky polycule in the tags but the important ones to this are #arien is in a qpr with ilmare and a romantic relationship with thuringwethil #tilion is in a qpr with eonwe and a romantic relationship with salmar (lost romantic feelings but doesn't mind the relationship)#earendil is obviously married to elwing and hes deeply in love but the two also have something vaguely queerplatonic going on with eonwe

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22degreehalo · 6 months

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One of the interesting things about Andy in terms of like shitty parent situation flavour and all is that, he really seems to crave the approval of his mum and dad, and definitely recognises that they love his brother more than him, but they like... actually don't even seem to have any expectations for him at all anymore from what we see

Like his whole family deal was of course sorta infamously all over the place based on what the writers thought was funny in any given moment (like if not for secretaries he wouldn't have a step mom, but then likes this other place because it's where his parents decided not to get divorced), but the most consistent vibe I get is just that they like. Already gave up on him and treat him as at best a family embarrassment they'd rather not acknowledge. And he MOSTLY seems to understand that and tries to prove them wrong and win them back over in his endlessly optimistic sort of way but Garden Party proves that they just. don't even seem to care anymore? At all? And all of Andy's like valorisation of his family history and desires to prove himself to them only really matter in his head.

It's just interesting from the perspective of like, him being queer. Because on the one hand yeah, it would conflict with his own sorta Self Image that he has both painstakingly and not entirely consciously concocted? The one he ruthlessly maintains at all times despite not seeming to have any particularly great intellectual self-awareness of? Which is a thing in itself: Andy isn't exactly the greatest character for like... self-reflection. To put it mildly. So it's hard to imagine how he'd navigate that kind of personal discovery and integrating it into his general behaviour, self-identity etc. And ultimately yes, his mum and dad wouldn't be too fond of having an openly bi son. Especially in the late 00s slash early 10s.

But also, in Gossip, he actually... does seem to question whether or not he's queer!! And try to pursue and evaluate it earnestly!! (Of course in fitting with the above, it's not because of any PERSONAL feelings or discoveries, just...... other people have said it. So maybe it HAS to be true??) Like, he doesn't seem THAT far down into the 'haha that couldn't POSSIBLY be true!' self-denial or whatever. And he doesn't seem THAT freaked out or upset by the possibility, either: just really, really confused!

Maybe that's it: he just feels this intense, constant desire to act however other people expect him to act. (Which....... relatable as dude lmaooo.) If other people keep thinking he's gay, then well: guess he's gotta have to act like a gay dude. But he has to get Oscar's guidance, of course, and then ultimately demands Michael just tell him. Maybe it's just a chameleon thing, and if his parents came by in this episode for some reason he'd be immediately like pshhht no way would the Nard-dog ever be up for that! He's a Cornell grad, equals a CATCH, and he is totally prepared for marrying a sufficiently classy lady to match! (Cue Oscar giving him the stink-eye in the background.)

So. Would there be a fear of like, parental disapproval...? Because while they wouldn't approve... I can't see them disapproving much more than they already do. It seems more likely that it would just bolster the view of him that they already have. But I don't think Andy is THAT pessimistic about it. And maybe that's it: it's almost comforting to think that they wouldn't want him to be queer, because that'd mean they actually care on some level about him. It's harder to admit that he could tell them anything and they'd just sigh and roll their eyes and keep going as they are.

IDK man. I'm working on another fic (my annual Christmas fic~~) and when it came to fill out the obligatory internalised homophobia subthemes I realised it was actually kinda a lot more complicated than I first assumed, lol.

#The Office #Andy bernard #andy is such. an nd icon tbh #once again im showing my hand that the internalised homophobia I write is like #80% me projecting my internalised ableism bullshit through The Other #god the way Andy just perpetually mimics whoever's in authority around him #in a way that almost always just reads as annoying and sad rather than flattering #is so. autistic failing at social norms tbh!!!!!!!!!!

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meggie-jolly · 9 months

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I finally wrote a scene for the Roswell, New Mexico Red, White and Royal Blue AU. It's Michael coming out to Sanders and telling him about Alex. You can find the scene under the cut.

I don't really feel like I captured Sander's voice well to be honest, but I wanted to share it with you anyways. Maybe I'll edit it later and put it on AO3 once I have a scene or two more written. Feel free to let me know what scenes you would like to see me write.

You can find all the posts about this AU here.

"What's this meeting about Kid, we don't usually sit down so formal." Walt looked at him from across his desk in the cramped office he kept at the Whitehouse. Michael had never understood why he had such a small, somewhat overstuffed office that would have suited a struggling small business more than the head of the presidential secret service, but Walt wanted it this way.

Michael swallowed nervously. "I… I have to, um, talkt o you about something. I've... been figuring some things out recently and,.. well, I'm bi." He didn't quite manage to look at his dad while saying it and continued without giving him the chance to say anything. "I wanted to tell you because you're my dad and I want you to know and I probably have to tell Ann and Dave, because it might influence the campaign, but you should know first and…"

His Dad raised a hand to stop him before he could ramble on and then reached across the table to rest his hand on Michael's. "Michael, Michael stop. It's ok. Thank you for telling me. And remember, you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to.”

"I know, but I'm not sure I want to hide this part of myself and I met someone…"

Walt gave Michael a look that only he could. His secret service look, the one that had Michael, Max and Isobel convinced he could read minds or at least see through walls when they were children. Their theory had been he was hiding a magic eyeball behind his eyepatch, like Mad Eye Moody. "Is this about the Prince?"

Michael almost fell out of his chair in shock. "Wh.. Prince?", he stammered. There was no way his dad already knew right?

Walt chuckled "Prince Alex of course. You've been sleeping with him, haven't you?"

Michael choked on his breath at his Dad's words. "You knew?", he managed to get out between two coughs.

Walt leaned back and pulled a bottle of water out of his desk drawer. "No need to croak, kid. Of course I know. I'm the head of security and you are my son. I know everything going on around here. Especially when you leave the country and interact with people of international interest. You know I don’t trust the King.”

“So… you’re okay with me being bi, but not with me… seeing Alex?” Michael’s voice was shakier than he cared to admit. He opened the bottle and took a swig, hoping it would help and sort if wishing it was Whiskey or something instead.

“Well, you certainly choose one of the most complicated options, but no, I don’t care that it’s Alex. I care a little bit about what this will mean for all of us and our future in the White House, but most of all I care about you being happy, kid. I hope you know that. And I have seen that you are happy when you stare at your phone and I assume text him.”

Michael swallowed around the lump in his throat that formed at the words. “Thank you Dad.”

Walt sighed. “Regardless, you will have to make a decision. This is not a secret that can be kept forever. You two have been very lucky so far. And when it comes out, it will have consequences for both of your countries. So you need to be sure you are serious about this. This can't be a fling."

Michael wasn't sure what to say to that, he opened his mouth to answer… something, but his dad stopped him. "Don't answer now, you should take time to decide. Maybe talk to Alex, or Max and Isobel. And if you do decide to keep pursuing the relationship, you should probably tell Ann and Dave. If this comes out during the campaign, they need to have a plan what to do."

It was Michael's turn to sigh. "Ok Dad, I'll think about it. Thank you for supporting me."

Walt smiled, "Of course kid, always. Now come here, you look like you could use a hug."

He stood up and walked around the table to envelop Michael in the kind of hug they hadn't shared in a long time.

#rnm rwrb au #malex #malex au #rnm #rwrb #red white and royal blue #my writing #snippet #michael guerin #walt sanders

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gotham-ruaidh · 2 years

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surety

"There's nothing else to do, is there? Nothing else but wait." -- Claire to Jamie, 06x08 "I Am Not Alone"

---

“No.” Josiah’s hand was firm yet gentle on his wife’s elbow. “Dinna follow them. They need their peace.”

“Aye,” Missus Bug agreed, standing at Arch’s side behind them. “We’ll have plenty to clean up in the morning.”

Kezzie took an extra step forward to stand shoulder to shoulder with his wife. Silently watching Brown’s men disperse and settle in for the night.

Lizzie took her husbands’ hands. Eyes shining with tears.

Mister Bug bit back the chide on the tip of his tongue. Tonight was not for that.

“We’ll settle in the barn then.” Lizzie’s voice was quiet, but steady. “And we’ll be up early. They will need help sorting the things to take wi’ them.”

“I dinna think anyone will be getting much sleep tonight,” Missus Bug mused. “I might as well start the dough for bread and bannocks. Arch and I will see you at daybreak.”

---

Claire’s eyes fluttered awake.

Jamie’s arms locked tighter around her. There, in the sanctuary of their bed. The pads of his fingers traced every bump of her backbone.

“How long was I asleep?”

“No’ long,” he whispered, lips pressed to the shell of her ear. Eyes, she knew, still trained on the window.

She didn’t even bother asking if he’d slept.

“It’s been like this before, for us,” she whispered.

“Aye,” he rasped. “Our last night, before Culloden. In the ruined cottage at the foot of Craigh Na Dun.”

She nodded. “You told me to sleep then, too.”

“I did. For I wanted to feel you dream in my arms, one last time.”

She moved up on the pillow to look into his eyes. His pupils were so wide in the candlelight. “Tonight is not the last time.”

He pressed his lips together, and let her see just how terrified he was.

She bridged the gap between them. Kissed the tears in the creases of his eyes.

“Let’s get up. We’ve got so much to do.”

---

Lizzie tossed and turned in the hayloft.

“Are you all right?” Jo whispered – perched a few feet away, standing guard.

“Is it the bairn?” Kezzie asked gently, drawing her a bit closer against his side in the hay.

She sniffled. “I’m all right – the bairn, too. It’s just…I canna imagine what they’re going through. Couldn’t you see they were being torn apart?”

Jo sighed. “Aye. They love each other something fierce. There was no way that Mister Fraser would let her go.”

“Aye. And I got to thinking – I cannae even imagine what that would be, for us.” She sat up, and Kezzie picked bits of straw from her hair. “I thought it was hard enough for us to be apart for a few days. But at least we still see each other. They were apart for twenty years! And now Mistress Fraser may die.”

“She won’t,” Kezzie reassured her.

“I wish we could do something.”

“We wait for morning to come. Then, we wait for Ian to come.”

She sighed. “Why was it only us and a few others, when they cried for help? Where did everybody else go?”

Kezzie and Jo couldn’t answer. Held their wife as she cried.

---

Standing in the center of their room, Jamie held Claire’s hands in his.

“A Naoimh Mìcheal Àird-aingeal, dìon sinn anns an àm a' chatha,” he whispered as the fire crackled. “Bi mar thèarmann againn an aghaidh an donais agus na ribeachan an Diabhail.”

Holy Michael the Archangel, defend us in time of battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

She leaned into him. Breathed him in.

Then she pulled away, just far enough to pick up Jamie’s dirk from the table. Held Jamie’s palm up, so gently. Scored the base of his right wrist. And then, with her left hand, did the same with her own right wrist.

She pressed their wrists together.

“Is tu fuil ‘o mo chuislean,” she whispered.

He swallowed. “Is tu fuil ‘o mo chuislean,” he repeated.

“Is tu cnaimh de mo chnaimh,” she continued.

“Is tu cnaimh de mo chnaimh,” he vowed.

Leaned over their joined wrists for a kiss.

Jamie pulled their wrists apart – wincing a bit at the blood that had congealed between them. Dipped his thumb onto his wrist. Traced a J over her racing heart.

Felt her pulse rise even higher beneath his fingers, as she dipped her thumb onto her wrist, and traced a C over his heart.

He pressed their wrists back together.

“‘Til our lives shall be done. I swear to you, Claire – they willnae be done for a long time yet.”

She kissed him for a long, long time.

---

“Did you bring in that side of bacon? I want to fry it up for them, afore they go.”

Mister Bug sighed, set down the sack of dried apples and turned on his heel, headed back to the springhouse, squinting in the early dawn.

Missus Bug huffed. Pulled the dough into small circles. Pushed away the glass shards from her work table. Stoked the hearth fire and prepared the baking pans. Listening to two sets of footsteps upstairs.

---

Jamie fastened the final button of Claire’s jacket. “There. You’re wearing your warmest shift, aye?”

“Yes. You packed your extra socks? The ones Bree made you?”

“Aye. I’ll do. You’ll be taking the jacket wi’ the longer sleeves?”

“Yes. And my medical box.”

“Good. Here – can you fit this in the heel of your shoe?”

A gemstone.

She looked at it, there in the palm of his hand, for a long moment.

“Please, Claire. No’ just your ticket to travel through the stones. You can sell it for coin, if need be.”

She looked up at him – his eyes so tired in the warm light of dawn, slanting through their big windows.

The night was for sentiment. The day was for practicality.

She took it.

---

“…And aside from the basket, I’ve two canteens wi’ fresh water. Arch brought it himself from the spring this morning.”

“Thank you, Missus Bug.”

“The small box, Mistress?”

“Yes – thank you, Lizzie. Does anything need to be topped up?”

“No – I checked everything myself. And I will take your casebook, for safe-keeping.”

“Thank you. Truly – thank you. You – and the twins, all three of you – are welcome to stay here in the house, while I’m gone. Though before too long, you’ll need to find yourself a midwife.”

“I’ll see to it, Mistress. I willnae let the lass go wi’out.”

“Thank you. I know you will.”

“Mistress Fraser – are you injured?”

“No – I’m quite all right.”

“Your wrist, I mean. Looks like you cut it on some of the glass.”

“Look at that – I suppose I did.”

---

“Most of the rifles are still in the cellar. John Quincy Myers was traveling with Ian – between the two of them, they’ll ken what to do.”

“Aye, sir.”

“Best not make any more trips to River Run for the time being. And I’ll need you to keep an eye on the fields, too.”

“Between me and Mister Lindsay, sir – we’ll manage.”

“I ken. Dinna think I will forget who stood with me against Richard Brown.”

“It was my pleasure, sir.”

---

Claire pulled an extra chair up to Jamie’s desk. He pushed a sheet of paper – the ink still wet – toward her.

“Here, Sassenach – add a few words if you wish. The one to my aunt is done. This one is for Ian.”

“All right. And I’ll start on one for Brianna, if you start the one for Fergus?”

“Aye. But we must be swift about it.”

Lizzie poked her head around the door. “Jo says he sees a wagon.”

Claire didn’t look up from her quill. “Thank you, Lizzie. We’ll need your help to get these into the right hands.”

“I promise you, Mistress Fraser. We’ll do it. We’ll do right by you.”

Jamie looked up at her and smiled – small, and sad. “You already have, lass. You and your…husbands. All of you. Thank you.”

She curtseyed.

---

Now they stood alone in the foyer, at the foot of the winding staircase they both loved so dearly.

Claire picked up her medical box. Jamie hoisted to his shoulder Missus Bug’s satchel, bulging with food.

Already Kezzie had melted into the forest, their letters tucked securely in his jacket.

Jamie turned to face Claire. Thumbed the scab at her wrist.

“So, Sassenach – are you ready to go?”

She lifted her chin. Eyes firm.

“Yes.”

He nodded. She nodded back.

He opened their front door. Ushered her to the porch. Softly closed the door behind them. Held her hand as they walked down their front stairs, past a dozen or so jeering men, and into the wagon.

#outlander #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire

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