#You don't summon Alexander

[asexualdreammorpheus]

everyone shout out to our favourite pot boy alexander for getting a critical on the fire giant and letting me use it while i was on 1 point of health

#elden ring #giant pot boy i love youuuu ah #the fire giant had sent out those two tracking fire balls and they stayed after the giant died #tarnished running towards the forge: ahhhh ahhh #fire balls: why are you running why are you running #it eventually blew itself up but god that was stressful #i had no flasks left and alexander comes in and saves the day #no i don't have to summon him but you know what #he wants to fight he gets to fight #and the fire giant was actually difficult on new game plus the others have been fairly easy #uh oh no no new game plus godskin duo

[we-were-born-to-be-free]

I have a fic idea for Alexander Morozova. So you could do a goddess reader. Maybe a goddess of the stars, and have smut at the end where Alexander is worshiping readers body calling her his goddess

Goddess - A.M

A/N: Umm... I don't write smut, but I can give it a shot. I have to start somewhere. Thank you for the request<3

Aleksander was so hopelessly in love. In love with Y/N. His little saint. His goddess of the stars.

He had married her years ago. They had both taken the vows to protect each other, to constantly shower the other with love. They had never been happier.

But one day, when his loyalties were being questioned, he was confused. Alina Starkov, the new-found sun summoner had entered the little palace. She had been one of his utmost priorities, next to you of course.

But you hadn't felt that way. You felt as though he was neglecting you, abandoning you. All for his new summoner. Before you knew it, tears were rolling down your cheeks as you sat on your bed in your private room. You were hardly ever there, always in Aleksander's room.

For the first time since you had married your husband, you felt alone. You hadn't seen Aleksander all week. You had purposefully tried to avoid him. You didn't need to distract him from taking care of his new summoner. He couldn't be bothered to check on his own wife.

Genya was the only person that knew about your troubles with Aleksander. She was your most trusted servant, and your dear friend. So as you sat there, loneliness swallowing you, she held you close. She held you like a sister would.

"Y/N. Hello pretty." She gave you that nickname a while ago. "What's wrong? Are you thinking about the General again?" You gave her a soft nod and unwillingly started sobbing even harder. After a while, she let go of you and retired to her room, wishing you well.

Aleksander had seen Genya coming out of your room. He stopped her before she continued down the corridor. "Miss Safin? May I stop you for a moment?"

She turned around giving the General a little bow before saying, "Yes General. Is there something wrong?" She already knew what the topic was about. She just didn't want to be rude.

"I see that you have been with Y/N a lot lately. How is she," he asked, not knowing your state.

"General, you may as well see for yourself. She's unhappy. She feels lonely," she states.

Aleksander was shocked. "But why should she be lonely? She has been avoiding me the entire week?"

"General, I think you should ask her yourself. I'll take your leave now General," she says, before giving him a little bow and hurrying down the corridor.

He stops outside your door, contemplating why you are so unhappy. As he opens the door and walks into your room, there you are. His beautiful little saint. But you were curled up on your bed, tears flowing and being caught by your pillow.

His heart ached. "Y/N? Lapushka, are you awake?"

You responded with a little squeak. He came to sit down next to you, raking his fingers through your dark hair. Your eyes fluttered at the feeling of him being with you again. He noticed this and came to lay in bed with you.

"Darling? What's wrong my love? Why have you been avoiding me?" he asks.

You shuffle away from him, onto the far side of the bed. "I haven't been avoiding you,' you whispered. "You're just too busy fussing over your sun summoner." Your voice broke as you said the last part of the sentence.

"No Lapushka. I swear I haven't. I've just been very busy my love," he says as he tries to console you. "Please turn around darling."

You turned around to face your husband. He sees you, with fresh tears in your eyes, ready to fall. "Oh darling," he says wiping the tears off your cheeks.

"Were you so busy this week that you completely forgot to say a simple 'good morning' to your wife," you say. "So busy with your new sun summoner that you completely forgot that you even had a wife," you say, your walls now coming down. "I felt so alone, Aleksander. So hurt and in so, so much pain."

He brought his lips to yours and captured them in a gentle kiss. "Let me make it up to you my goddess," he says. "Let me make you feel good lapushka."

And with that he kissed you again, this time a little rougher and full of passion. He pulled you closer, one hand on your hips, on hand on cradling your face. He softly bit your lip, making you moan into the kiss. His lips travelled your neck, sucking and biting the spots that made you feel good.

He tugged at your clothes before saying, "These need to come off darling. Now."

You and Aleksander took your clothes off as quick as you could. You looked into his dark eyes before he kissed you again. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted you off your feet and set you on the bed.

He kissed down your neck, giving some attention to your hardening nipples. You moaned as his tongue swirled around your breasts. "So beautiful for me milaya. My goddess. Do you want to come for me darling?"

You nodded quickly in agreement, wanting your husband to make you feel special. He continued kissing down your body, worshiping every part of you. He positioned his face between your thighs, before kissing them gently.

He looked at you and asked, "Are you sure lapushka?" You nodded very quickly, almost too quick. "Words, darling. Use your words."

"Yes."

That was the confirmation he needed before slowly licking up your core, making you gasp at the sudden contact. He licked up all your juices before saying, "So wet for me my goddess. So pretty. Just for me."

He continued to lick your soaked pussy, making you moan in pleasure. He started pumping a finger in your cunt. You started panting and moaning his name.

"Oh, Aleksander. Fuck."

He moaned into your pussy, the vibrations making you moan once again. "Aleksander," you moan. "I'm going to come."

His tongue moved faster and added another finger pumping into you. You cried out Aleksander's name as you came. He continued to ride out your high, licking and sucking your pussy.

He kissed your stomach, leaving wet spots all over your body. "You taste delicious darling."

He kissed you while positioning himself in front of your entrance. He pushed himself inside of you slowly, letting you adjust to his size. You both hissed at the feeling.

He started pumping in and out of you at a slow pace. A low sound came out of the back of his throat as he fucked you. You moaned loudly, pleasure coursing through your veins.

He slowly sped his pace that had rendered you helpless under his touch. He kissed you again while fucking your pussy. You broke the kiss, and moaned, "I'm going to come."

"Come around my cock darling."

You both came at the same time. Your vision blurred as you came hard. He helped you ride out your high as he came too.

He pulled out of you and got up to clean you both. When he finished he lay down on your bed, gathering you in his arms.

"Lapushka?"

"Yes Sasha."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this," he apologises.

"It's alright Sasha. I've got you with me now."

"I love you, my beautiful goddess."

"I love you too, my god."

#aleksander kirigan #the darkling #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova x reader #alexander morozova #aleksander morozova smut #smut

[daswarschonkaputt]

[surfaces from the deep with art in tow]

'tis i, the purveyor of fem!kinnporsche lookbooks, this time bearing kimchay. if you missed the kinnporsche one it's here. if you didn't, you know the drill, thoughts and refs beneath the cut.

okay let's start with kim:

i'm gonna be real with you folks: i struggled hard with fem!kim. in my head, kim much like fem!kinn is someone who uses her clothes to send messages, but where kinn is trying to communicate power and authority, kim is instead using her clothes to adopt different personas or elements of her personality. and so, i can see fem!kim wearing nearly everything, basically.

kimlor swift aka wik aka internet popstar kim

so, return customers may notice something odd about kim: i gave her different poses for each of her personas. why? i think kim is someone who embodies a lot of different personas, and i think the change is more than skin deep.

this was very much the first set i drew. the brief for these outfits in my head was something like "k-pop kim possible". also a lot of these were drawn when i still had covid lmao so i barely remember most of it.

it was very important to me that kim had a wolf cut. that fact came to me the moment i started thinking about fem!kim. so. you know. you're welcome.

runing errands (first outfit) - this one was the first outfit i drew for kim, and it was mostly summoned up from my own head. i spent a lot of time scrolling through pinterest before i started drawing. in my head, this is sort of what she wears when she's out and about as wik but not like, performing or whatever. still a very crafted image, but a little more casual than her performance gear.

performance (second outfit) - this one does have a ref! i found this image on pinterest and was like yes. this one. i thought long and hard about what i wanted wik's fashion and persona to be, because i debated going along the family friendly singer-songstress route, but in the end i figured she had to be cool and a little edgy. hence [gestures at the clothes].

award show/red carpet (third outfit) - this one's kind of fun. longtime listeners will recall that i started drawing these lookbooks bc @mortimerlatrice told me they didn't think fem!kinn would wear dresses and i had to disprove them -- so i thought it'd be fun if for kim, she only wore dresses when on mafia business. kim in a dress is a blaring warning signal that you're gonna get your shit rocked. so, kim's award show look is a pantsuit. she doesn't wear dresses at all as wik. there was definitely a reference image for this one, but i drew the entirety of this first set when i had covid, so i don't think i saved it OTL

detective wikachu aka mafia kim

another fun detail you might notice about mafia!kim -- she's always got her hair up. that was also deliberate. also holy shit this set killed me so bad. we'll get there.

running errands (detective errands) (first outfit) - this is what kim wears when she's gotta blackmail randos for info. fairly casual, all things told, but very different in vibe to her wik stuf. also the pattern on that suit is incredibly simple but it took me 45 mins to create bc i still had covid brainfog at this point. the reference for this look was celine's spring/summer 2021 rtw collection look 24.

visiting dad (to snoop) (second outfit) - another source of debate for me. what, exactly, does kim send as a message to her father when she comes back home? i played with the idea of her wearing a sort of perfectly pretty mafia princess disguise, but i don't think that's what she'd use to get on her father's good side. so, she's wearing a dress (fuck your shit up vibes for her) but it's got a strong vibe to it. so, i had to go with alexander mcqueen, which is one of my favourite designers. this one is specifically alexander mcqueen pre-fall 2022 look 17.

at a gala (mafia-flavoured) also to snoop (third outfit) - oh my god you guys will not believe how many of these i went through. i even fully drew another option before discarding it completely. (originally, i was going to go with erdem pre-fall 2023 look 8 which i drafted here but i just didn't vibe with it the more i worked on it. i guess it felt a little too princessy? so i pivoted.) this one is from another of those designers i actually really like, zuhair murad. this one's from fall 2022 couture, specifically look 38. very much love at first sight. the moment i saw it, i knew i was gonna draw it. and oh boy did drawing it make me suffer. that bead pattern on the dress? killed me. actually killed me. fucking OW. worth it though.

family portrait (fourth outfit) - after all the suffering of kim's formal look this one was comparatively a breeze. found a pic on pinterest, and whoosh i went drawing. the reference is here.

chay!kim

this set is very much what it says on the tin, the clothes kim wears around chay. let's go.

guitar tutoring (first outfit) - okay so in my head the brief for this one was "what kim thinks chay thinks wik wears on her downtime", which very much sets the tone for the entire outfit. i just think it's fun if kim twists herself out of sorts with how clever she is and then chay just bulldozes straight through that. i don't actually have a reference for this one. just drew it.

rescue chay (second outfit) - this is what kim wears to go save chay from the tawan kidnapping. i dubbed this one "when you got library study session at 9, rescue bae at 12, and cyberpunk revolution at 3". the loose inspo for this one was this dress on pinterest which i tracked to the brand ganni and then found they no longer made.

say no to drugs, chay (third outfit) - okay so i wanted this outfit to be like. a wake up call to chay. the first time chay sees kim in a skirt, and the first time chay realises that maybe kim is a little dangerous. it's alexander mcqueen (ofc it is) and actually in the time between me drawing this and posting it, someone actually wore the skirt from this look on the red carpet. it's the spring 2023 rtw collection, look 24. salma hayek wore the skirt to the 2023 brits here.

the youtuber apology video fit (fourth outfit) - the brief here was "kim forcibly bolting on hinges". the idea was to kind of soften her mafia edges but leave the cornerstones of how she dresses for that very much there. so, dress, hair up, but much more relaxed. this outfit is from tommy hilfiger's spring 2023 rtw collection, specifically look 17.

onto chay:

chay was really hard to start with, i'm going to be real. i think the sum total for my notes when i started was just one word: dungarees? as i drew more of her i started to think of her as someone who thrifts and then alters a lot of her clothes. i wanted colour and patterns, and i suffered for them. by god did i suffer.

a few lil headcanons i have about her:

i think chay probably finds it easy to be considered cute and hard to move out of that box. i think there's a part of chay that wants to be sexy the way porsche is (ESPECIALLY if this is a fem!porsche universe) but doesn't know how to go about trying to achieve that. she had to ask yok how to teach her how to apply eyeliner bc porsche doesn't know how to and doesn't care to learn.

i think the role of like, female role model/influence in chay's life is later taken up by fem!kinn, who is full of the kind of advice porsche would be horrified to hear given to her precious baby sister.

chay has short hair because when she had long hair porsche was obsessed with getting her the right shampoos and conditioners and stuff to take care of it (probs based on some internalised stuff from when porsche was at school and girls would mock her for her split ends) so chay just puts a stop to that by cutting all her hair off and it turns out she kind of likes it? so she keeps it.

casual outfits

i drew all these patterns myself. from scratch. you're welcome.

green dungarees (first outfit) - the reference image is here. this was the first look i drew and also the moment i realised how stupid i was to choose a "fun" foot pose for chay. this caused no end of suffering going forward.

orange dungarees (second outfit) - ref here. here i started to regret the pattern aspect of my chay design. also those messy canvas ankle boots killed me to draw. they were so hard.

sweater vest (third outfit) = MORE FUCKING PATTERNS. i also had a reference for this one somwhere but i was drawing this whilst playing dnd so i think it just got lost.

special outfits

school uniform (first outfit) - i did a bit of looking into school uniforms in thailand and from what i can tell they basically all look very similar. idk if the lilac shirt + navy skirt combo is standardised for girls but it was pretty much all i found when i went looking. also she has a long skirt because when she and porsche bought it for her, they bought a really big one that she could wear all through school.

one (1) smart dress (second outfit) - the idea here is that this is the one smart item of clothing that chay has, and it's the one-size-fits-all-occasions dress. it's dark so it can be worn to funerals. it's somewhere between business and formal so it can be worn to both those kinds of occasions. it was based on this dress i found on pinterest.

going to a concert with friends (third outfit) - i... just wanted to put chay in a bucket hat? yeah that's all i have. no ref. just my mind.

porsche's first paycheque present (fourth outfit) - the idea here was that after getting some money from the whole mafia thing, porsche buys this as a present for chay. maybe it's a dress chay's always looked at when they walk past it in a shop window? this is a slight tweak on this dress by alaia. the original's like £2k which i cannot picture porsche and chay spending on a dress but shhh it's fine.

post-kim

these are the outfits from after the whole kim debacle goes down. i just really wanted to draw goth chay. and really, who wouldn't?

break-up era #1 (first outfit) - at this point i was just having way too much fun. the pattern took for-fucking-ever on the skirt though, because i thought i'd just cheekily re-use the dungaree flower pattern with colour changes but oh no that didn't work at all. i had to edit it so much. the reference is here. here her hair is freshly dyed blue, and she's given herself a little heartbreak undercut. you go girl.

say no to drugs chay (second outfit) - this is what chay is wearing when kim points at that rando in the club who offers chay drugs. you see all of the goth reference images i was finding were just too clean-cut and employable, you know? so torn fishnets it was. the refence i found for this is here but i changed it up bc i couldn't see chay wearing a little nightdress to go clubbing no matter how heartbroken she was.

visiting mum (third outfit) - in this one, in my head, chay has dyed her hair back to normal, but she's still got the undercut, so she straightens her hair and pins a little of it over the short bit to try and appear a little more normal chay to her mum. very simple outfit, no refs.

family portrait (fourth outfit) - there's a part of me which delights in this implied scenario because i just think it's funny if chay and kim are posing for a family portrait with kinnporsche and chay's ready to ignore the fuck out of kim and pretend like she doesn't care about her staring but then kim is in full-hide-any-weakenesses mode because korn's there so now chay's the one staring. relationship status: it's very awkward. anyway fashion wise i wanted two things from chay's outfit: for it to be simpler than any of the theerapanyakuls' and for it to be in a lighter shade of porsche's colour (blue). the reference was this cool dress i found on pinterest.

[exhales] is that everything? i think that's everything. obligatory tag for @yeetlegay bc i know they like to see the fem!kinnporsche content.

big shoutout to mort (tagged earlier), @antique-forvalaka, @luckydragon10, and @dr-lemurr for art troubleshooting and cheerleading duties.

everything was drawn in clip studio paint, which i cannot recommend enough. if you want more detailed info abt that side of things, send me an ask.

#kaputt suffers in art #kinnporsche #kinnporsche art #fem!kinnporsche art #i was originally planning on working on vegas and pete next but then the build stuff came out and kind of axed that plan #i just don't feel comfortable drawing the guy's face rn #i've been toying with recasting f!pete to get around that but i haven't found anyone i want to draw yet #anyway i just realised i didn't put my signature on a bunch of these one second just screaming #okay phew done

[petals2fish]

Order In The Court (The Incident)

Summary:

They would joke about ‘The Incident’ for years after, the story always becoming more melodramatic with each theatrical retelling. It was Sirius’ favorite story to tell, and he recited it at their wedding two years later. “And it all started because I got called to jury duty…”

Read on A03

"Please, do find yourself a comfortable seat," the woman behind the front desk instructed, extending a badge emblazoned with the word JUROR in bold crimson letters towards Sirius Black. "Our orientation session is set to commence in a mere two minutes."

Sirius couldn't help but entertain a sense of incredulity at the summons to jury duty. After all, he held the esteemed position of being the closest confidant and cherished friend of none other than Judge James Potter. Sirius had naively assumed that his role in assisting James with his meticulously organized Pokémon card collection would surely render him exempt from the mundane responsibilities of jury service. 

Alas, fate had a different plan, as the summons found its way into their mailbox, delivered with no small amount of glee by James himself, his smirk rather too wide for someone delivering stupid civic duty. James, in his characteristic wit, dubbed the summons as 'bring your best friend to work day', a moniker that Sirius cynically rebranded as a 'governmental conspiracy.'

As Sirius made his way into the juror room, James' image beamed proudly from the screens above, accompanied by a short biography detailing his legal prowess. Cheryl, the woman stationed at the front desk, cast a scrutinizing gaze upon Sirius as he navigated past her station to claim a seat.

With a resounding thud, Sirius deposited himself into an unoccupied chair adjacent to a red-haired individual whose face bore an expression of palpable frustration, their heated conversation on the phone permeating the room with an air of agitation.

"This woman at the front desk told me that this could take all day, so if you don't hear from me, I've asked the supposed murderer to murder me."

the irate woman said into the phone, shooting Sirius a look to convey her similar disdain for being there. She was speaking to someone with a high-pitched voice, but the conversation ended abruptly. The woman pulled her phone from her ear and pouted.

Sirius' gray eyes returned to the television screen in front of them. James' face reappeared, accompanied by his bio. The woman looked up just as James' face disappeared, leaving only his bio, which stressed his love for doughnuts and race cars.

"What kind of idiot admits they like Krispy Kreme over Dunkin' Donuts?" the woman muttered next to Sirius with a slight grunt before resuming her phone surfing.

Sirius resisted the urge to tell her that James had a knack for picking the worst foods to love. Anyone who chose Denny's over IHOP was clearly insane, and James picked Denny's every single time. 

Suddenly, Sirius' phone went off in his pocket. He leaned up to pull his cell from his jeans pocket. The white screen flashed with more than one message from James Potter.

JP: I can't believe that we get to hang out all day together! / If u get picked to be in my courtroom, that is. / I could get fired for telling u this, but old man Alexander needs a panel of like, twenty jurors, so good luck NOT getting picked. / Are u downstairs?

Sirius rolled his eyes and began texting James back.

SB: They've stuffed at least 150 of us in this tiny room and are about to start orientation. / What happens if I leave before they call my name? 

JP: Death penalty for running from ur civic duty 

SB: How many jurors do you need? 

JP: Idk. This attorney in my case is killing my vibe, and I can't focus. / G2G, the attorney just realized I'm not paying attention to the case and threatened to sue me. 

SB: Threaten him with the death penalty. 

James remained silent, prompting Sirius to exhale wearily as he reclined in his chair. Glancing at the clock across from him, he noted only a few minutes had elapsed. He sighed once more, drawing a glance from his striking neighbor. Before she could utter a word, a voice resonated from a small stage to their right.

It was Cheryl, the woman from the front desk, positioned at a podium to give instructions. "Alright, let's get started. I see you're all eager to begin your jury duty today."

The surrounding individuals chuckled, albeit with a tinge of bitterness. Cheryl appeared encouraged by the response and proceeded, adjusting her blonde hair. "First, we'll recite the pledge of allegiance."

Reluctantly, Sirius stood and placed a hand over his heart. The red-haired girl beside him wore an indifferent expression as she mimicked the action. Once the pledge concluded, Cheryl instructed them to affirm their commitment to truth before the court of law.

Sirius couldn't shake the feeling of being back in grade school, facing the stern gaze of the principal.

Finally, Cheryl had them seated again before outlining the rules. "Most trials are resolved within a day, and not everyone will be selected. If chosen for jury duty, remember you cannot disclose any information once you leave the courtroom. Those not selected must remain on standby in case additional jurors are needed." Sirius frowned deeply at the prospect of spending the entire day confined to the same room. "Lunch will be provided around midday, and I'll announce when it's time over the loudspeaker. Any questions?"

There was silence.

"This is the perfect time to turn to your neighbors and introduce yourselves."

Of fucking course Cheryl would encourage socialization.

Sirius turned to the redhead, who was eyeing his long black hair with interest. He hadn't noticed before, but her eyes were a startling green, and she was wearing a Levins University sweater. Sirius and James had both attended Levins. The woman stuck out her hand, and he took it kindly.

"Sirius Black," he grunted.

"I'm Lily," she said. "Lily Evans."

Sirius' eyes flashed to her sweatshirt. "When did you graduate?"

Lily responded lukewarmly, "I dropped out."

Sirius raised an interested brow at his neighbor. "Me too. Not your slice of pie?"

Lily tilted her head at him. "What?"

"I mean, did you drop out because you're not very good at school?"

Lily's eyes twinkled precariously. "I got into Harvard Law."

Sirius’ frown faltered. "Oh, sorry..."

"I happen to have an IQ of five hundred and fifty-six."

"Is that even a thing?" He couldn't tell if she was kidding or not.

"I dunno, you tell me."

He stared at her with uncertainty, and then she laughed, a sound that was both warm and spirited.

"I'm just kidding; I don't go to Harvard," Lily waved her hand at Sirius with a grin. "I had to leave LU for a year to take care of my dad. I'm back for my last year. I'm a chemistry major."

Sirius was surprised by her choice of major. "Wow, how—erm—" he paused, not knowing how to phrase his question without insulting her again. 

Chemistry was more boring to him than watching wet paint dry. 

Instead of being awkward, she challenged him. "Say what you're thinking. You think I'm a nerd."

"Intellectual," Sirius stated.

Her smile widened. "Nice save."

Sirius cracked his own grin; she had the same sense of humor as James. It was uncanny that he'd find the pale, red-haired version of his roommate in jury duty. She even ran her fingers through her loose hair in a way reminiscent of how James messed up his curls.

Lily stopped looking at Sirius to glance down at her phone, which was going off every ten seconds. She was texting back someone with little smirks and a few eye rolls. Since Sirius didn't have anything else to do while they waited, he continued watching her interact with the world behind her screen.

"You're quite popular," he finally said, after about forty minutes of her back and forth texting.

Lily blew her hair from her eyes and sent Sirius a disgraced look. "Everyone's giving me tips on how to get out of jury duty."

"You don't want to be here?"

"You do?" she asked in surprise, as if every word from his mouth was preposterous.

Sirius shrugged. "Not really," he admitted. "But as far as I understand, we're stuck here."

"Well, my friend Marley told me to walk in here with a Donald Trump hat and a Black Lives Matter shirt to confuse the hell out of them," Lily said firmly. "But my other friend Angela is certain if I tell everyone that I believe in the death penalty, they'll send me home."

"Interesting."

"She's convinced they'll let me go on grounds of insanity."

Sirius liked talking to her; she had a sharp sense of humor. "I hear the hospital down the road is quite nice. Padded walls and such."

Lily shrugged at his teasing. "Gotta stay committed to the role."

Sirius barked a laugh. "Commit to a role?" he motioned to her black leggings and university sweater. "The only role you're committed to right now is being a lethargic college student."

Lily stuck her tongue out. "Do you have any better ideas? I'm open to anything."

"Sleep with the judge?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily slammed her back against the seat in despair. "I'd seriously consider it."

Sirius laughed and then lightly kicked at Lily's ankles. "I'll let him know."

"Thanks, pal," Lily laughed, as if finding Sirius amusing and not in any way honest.

"In fact," Sirius pulled out his phone, "I'll text him right now."

"Yeah," Lily rolled her eyes, "Because you have Judge Judy on speed dial."

"His name is James, actually," Sirius didn't miss a beat, "And he's my roommate."

Lily eyed him, waiting for his expression to give into her scrutiny. "You're bluffing."

Sirius didn't say anything; he was too busy texting on his phone. Once he'd finished the text and hit send, he flashed the screen right at Lily's green eyes.

SB: James, one of the jurors just told me she's willing to sleep with you to get out of jury duty. 

Her forehead furrowed as she read his text, and then she laughed. "Is he attractive?"

Before Sirius could answer, the woman called over the loudspeaker, "Alright, the judge has called for jurors. We will be calling you by the numbers on your badge, and this is a sample size of forty."

There was a collective groan from around the room. Lily crossed her arms moodily and looked at her badge for her number.

 "I'm 147," she said, looking at Sirius. "What about you?"

Sirius flipped his badge in her direction. "213."

"What are the chances of us getting called together?" she whispered as the woman started calling out numbers.

"45! 67!"

Slowly, people began filing towards the door at the back of the room.

"Jesus, it's like the damn Hunger Games in here," Lily hissed.

"Just waiting for someone to jump up and yell that they'll volunteer as tribute..." Sirius whispered back.

"I'd need to be thoroughly intoxicated, but hey, for the sheer amusement of it, count me in," she chuckled, her eyes gleaming mischievously.

"Absolutely, that would definitely add some much-needed excitement to our otherwise mundane confinement," he agreed with a grin.

Sirius couldn't help but admire Lily’s quick wit when she said out loud,  "I should've thought of sneaking in some vodka.”

At that moment, Sirius resolved to permanently befriend the clever redhead.

As the forty selected jurors were escorted out by vigilant security personnel, Lily and Sirius exchanged relieved glances. They breathed easier knowing their numbers hadn't been called during the drawing. Watching the jurors depart, they shared a knowing look, silently acknowledging the tension that lingered in the room.

"Can we leave now, then?" Lily asked.

Cheryl's annoying voice came over the intercom, "If you remain in the sitting area, please know we must keep everyone here until all the judge's needs have been met."

"Guess we're stuck here," she shot a glare at the front desk. "Fucking Cheryl.”

 Just then, Sirius' phone pinged.

JP: Tell her I at least need 2 take her 2 dinner first. 

Sirius laughed and showed his screen to Lily.

Lily fake gasped as if shocked by James’ response, "How old-fashioned!"

SB: She says you're old-fashioned. 

There was a reply almost instantly.

JP: Does she like old-fashioned? 

Lily, reading over his shoulder, told Sirius, "Tell James I prefer my men in colonial wigs."

JP: Tell her I only wear the white wig when on stand. 

Lily's laughter bubbled louder at Sirius' reply, and she reached out her hand, gesturing for his phone. Sirius gladly handed it over to the blushing woman, who appeared thoroughly amused by James' (admittedly weak) retorts. Her fingers danced across the screen as she typed away eagerly. James responded just as eagerly, causing the phone to buzz animatedly in her hands.

After what felt like an eternity, Lily tossed the phone back to Sirius with a satisfied grin. As he scrolled through the messages, a knowing smirk played at the corners of his lips.

SB: Hey Judge Judy, do you have the power to dismiss us from this Hell? - Lily 

JP: Hello Lily. Unfortunately, I can't dismiss you unless you're picked. 

SB: So now we have to HOPE we get picked?! 

JP: I don't make the rules, I just enforce them. / If it makes you feel any better, you'll be paid for being here. 

SB: Yeah, like, fifteen dollars. 

JP: Maybe they'll buy you all lunch. / Probably not though, because our government has budget cuts. 

SB: Aren't you supposed to be judging people right now, not ruining my hopes and dreams? 

JP: Actually yes, but this attorney has been going on for literal hours about the color of someone's shoes, and I lost interest about three days ago, so I'm texting under my desk. 

SB: Is that not against some judge's code of law or something? 

JP: Probably, but I don't always follow the rules. 

SB: And they let you be a judge? 

JP: A surprise to all, including my professors. 

"Well, I have to say," Sirius looked up at Lily, who was reading something on her own phone now that she’d passed his back, "James hasn't held a conversation with a girl this long in a while."

"Not the conversation type?" she hummed, not looking up from her phone.

"He's more the 'kiss don't tell' type," Sirius commented slyly, seeing her neck turn red at the suggestion.

"He just told me that you're the 'kiss don't tell' type," Lily looked up with a smirk.

Sirius frowned, "Wait, are you texting him?"

Lily sniggered and showed her phone screen. Sirius' jaw dropped when he saw that she had her text open to a certain chat with a contact named ‘Judge James’.

Sirius rubbed his eye, trying not to laugh again. "You really labeled him as Judge James?"

"I considered Judge Judy," she crossed one leg over the other casually, "but he convinced me otherwise."

Sirius ran his fingers through his long black hair in disbelief, "I can't believe you got his number."

"Sent it to myself, didn't I?" Lily grinned as she turned her phone back so she could reply to whatever text had just come in. "I had to ask him if he was a Republican or Democrat."

"Politics?" Sirius mused, "Interesting topic."

"I'm not going to have sex with someone who voted for Trump."

"You want to have sex with the judge, Evans? I'm appalled."

"You're the one who suggested it," Lily replied as she kept texting. "Don't worry, I've bargained for your freedom from Jury Duty in the contract."

"There's a contract?" Sirius couldn't believe how much Lily and James had spoken about in the last forty minutes.

"According to him," Lily replied as she smiled at a meme James had sent her. 

The woman from the front desk came over the intercom, and the noise in the room quieted considerably. Lily even dropped her phone screen from her face.

"We've just received news from one of our judges, and he might have needed another juror group around one in the afternoon. Now would be the time to get some lunch. Please be aware that if you drive out of the parking garage, you will be subject to fees pertaining to parking. It is our suggestion that you go to one of the restaurants on this street."

"So we can't drive," Lily groaned. "I guess I'll go to the Subway down the road and have a bland sandwich."

"Nah," Sirius stood up and stretched. "Let's go to the bar."

Lily's interest peaked. "A bar?"

"You did say you'd like to get drunk before volunteering as a tribute for the Hunger Games," he reminded her.

"I mean, I won't say no to getting a drink or two."

"It's a date."

"Will James be on lunch then as well?" she asked as she stood up.

Sirius shrugged. "It depends on his case."

"What is his case?" Lily asked as she and Sirius made their way out of the tiny room and down a set of stairs.

"Probably murder," Sirius griped. "Old lady killed her husband after he offended her cat Mr. Snuffles."

"Poor Mr. Snuffles," Lily sighed dramatically. "He didn't stand a chance."

Lily walked ahead, smiling at everyone they passed politely. Sirius felt totally relaxed around her, like they’d been friends for ages and not just a few hours. That didn’t normally happen, not with him at least. Sirius' phone went off again, and he checked it with interest.

JP: So really, how pretty is she? Because right now, based on her texts, I'm in love. 

SB: Discernibly average. 

JP: Sirius. 

SB: James. 

JP: This case is taking forever. I should get lunch. Where are you headed? 

SB: A bar. She's a riot and wants to get drunk. 

JP: She said you dared her. / I bet she’s so pretty. / What color are her eyes? 

SB: Ugly 

JP: I hate you. 

"Sirius, what's the bar called?" Lily pulled Sirius away from his phone.

They stepped outside into the cool October air, with Lily standing there, her phone in her hands as she tried to navigate directions around the courthouse. Other jurors on lunch strolled around them. Lily's red hair fluttered in the wind, and her eyes sparkled, full of life. At that moment, Sirius knew that when James finally met this woman, he'd be a fool not to fall in love. Sirius decided to make himself comfortable around his best friend's future girlfriend.

"I dunno, Evans," he complained. "That's what Google Maps is for."

Lily stood there for a few more moments, typing into her phone. "James says there's a bar on Mayberry and Castle."

"Let's go then," Sirius motioned for Lily to lead the way.

Lily gave a pretty little cheer before heading towards the pillars that led to the streets. Apparently, she had been downtown enough to know where the streets were. She led Sirius about a block away from the courthouse and through a short alleyway. A small bar called Thickens sat between a beauty parlor and a convenience shop. Lily opened the wooden door, and the smell of cigarettes and cinnamon wafted over Sirius as he entered the dimly lit bar.

Once they had their drinks, Sirius eyed the red-haired woman with interest. "So, tell me about yourself, Evans."

Lily took a swig of her cider. "Well," she said with pursed lips, "I grew up an hour south of here in a small town, hated it there, and moved away."

"What a great story," Sirius faked astonishment. "Lifetime movie material."

Lily smirked. "You got a better one, Black?"

Sirius nodded solemnly. "I was disowned by my super conservative family for refusing an arranged marriage to my second cousin, dropped out of school due to depression, and relocated here to be with my best mate."

Rather than pulling away from Sirius, like most people did, Lily leaned in closer. "Sounds like you've had a rough time – but does your sibling despise you with every fiber of their being for no discernable reason?"

Sirius took up her challenge. "My younger brother Regulus didn't break free from the family like I did – he tragically passed away. Took his own life, actually. In his final words he blamed me for his misery."

She took another hearty swig of her drink. "Could've used a happier twist."

Sirius cracked his knuckles. "Well, I was adopted by my best friend's family, and we sing about rainbows and sunshine every night before bed, so I’m pretty happy now."

"What a charmed existence," Lily remarked, her sharp green eyes holding a depth of intelligence Sirius rarely encountered. 

“I bet your life is all butterflies,” Sirius surmised, playfully nudging her to give up her story. 

Lily looked at the ceiling before sighing and stating out loud, "My father passed away four months ago, my sister disowned me for apparently killing him, and just last week, my cat Argus met his end after darting out and being struck by a bus."

Sirius had to hand it to this girl, she was not shy, nor was she afraid of judgments. She’d be the perfect match for James, and made the perfect friend to help Sirius gang up on James with. 

"Are we in a contest for the most miserable life?" Sirius sloshed his drink in his cup to ‘cheers’ her.

"No, just bonding over our shared trauma," Lily offered with a wink.

"That's more like it."

She lightly touched his arm with her bottle. "And what about James?" she asked playfully. "Is he the epitome of perfection?"

"He snores like a freight train and has a penchant for fast cars," Sirius replied. "Not exactly my cup of tea."

Sirius laughed as she took another swig. "Cheers."

Lily requested another cider, having polished off her first. Both of them sat staring at the screens, lost in their own thoughts. Sirius often utilized his tales to dissuade others, and it was rare for anyone to stick around. Yet James had stayed. Remus had stayed. Peter had stayed until he found something more enticing. And now, this girl—this randomly selected girl in jury duty—didn't even flinch when he recounted his story. Sirius downed his whiskey as Lily concluded her second cider.

"Keep pace, Black," she teased.

He arched an eyebrow at her. "I challenge you to try and outdrink me."

"I never back down from a challenge," Lily winked as she lowered the bottle from her lips. "If I'm going to endure another six hours in that infernal jury room, I might as well have some fun."

Sirius clinked his glass with hers. "This marks the beginning of a splendid friendship, Evans."

Lily had no objections to that. "We should play a fun drinking game to celebrate this momentous friendship."

"How much fun are you thinking?" Sirius asked. 

"Take a sip for every time your family has let you down?" Lily proposed.

"I'd be drunk really quickly if we used those rules."

"Me too," Lily raised her bottle in his direction. "Cheers to that."

He finished his whiskey and downed three more, a testament to Sirius's renowned tolerance for alcohol. Meanwhile, Lily, slightly tipsy and giggly, leaned on Sirius's arm as they made their way back to the courthouse. She looked at the world with a contented sigh, expressing her joy at the strangest things. She was like a breath of fresh air, as much as he loved hanging out with his other friends. Sirius didn't have too many friends who were girls, in fact. 

"I'm so happy we crossed paths," she declared, "And I plan on charming your best friend to help us out of this situation."

Sirius chuckled, guiding her through the courthouse door. "You think flirting with a judge might get us kicked out?"

"It'd be a relief," Lily replied as they ascended the staircase to the jury room, "Considering I've been trying to flee since seven thirty this morning when Cheryl had us singing the national anthem."

"I challenge you to sing it again, but this time to Cheryl," Sirius proposed.

"Really?" Lily whispered, briefly checking her reflection on her phone screen.

"They might actually send you packing," Sirius mused.

"I'm game," Lily affirmed, determination flashing across her features. "Anything to escape this place, but you're coming with me."

Sirius couldn't suppress his laughter as she broke free from his embrace and twirled up the stairs. Her red hair billowed behind her, and she collided with a messy-haired boy in black robes and thick glasses. Sirius recognized him instantly, though Lily and James were strangers to each other.

James caught Lily's shoulders, steadying her with a half-smile. "You alright?"

"Oops, sorry!" Lily giggled, withdrawing from James's grasp and dancing excitedly down the hall toward Cheryl. "Let's go, Sirius, we're getting kicked out of jury duty!"

"Right behind you, Evans!"

James Potter turned to see Sirius striding confidently, while Lily charged ahead, oblivious to the fact that she had just bumped into Judge James without a second glance. James ran his fingers through his hair, further tousling the black curls as he watched Sirius and then Lily disappear down the corridor.

"Is that—" James began.

"Indeed it is," Sirius confirmed as he passed James to join Lily.

"Fuck me, she's gorgeous," came James' less than eloquent reply.

As Sirius followed Lily into the jury room, he couldn't believe his eyes. Lily wasn't just walking in, she was belting out the national anthem at the top of her lungs. Sirius was beside himself with laughter as the entire room turned to watch Lily make her grand entrance, serenading the women at the front desk. Cheryl, in particular, looked utterly mortified as Lily proudly delivered the country's anthem with unexpected gusto and bursts of laughter.

"Oooooh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light!" Lily's rendition sounded like a distressed whale.

Sirius couldn't fathom how he ended up in jury duty with this wild woman, but he was grateful nonetheless, thoroughly entertained as Lily sang directly in front of Cheryl, sporting wide arms and a terrible dance.

"Ma'am, please, have a seat!" Cheryl pleaded. "What on Earth are you doing? Someone, call security!"

"Damn," Sirius chuckled, still unable to contain his amusement, as he reached out to gently pull Lily away from Cheryl's murderous glare. "I can't believe you actually went through with that dare."

"I never back down from a dare," Lily declared before glaring at Cheryl. "Can we go, please?"

Cheryl stood up, shaking her finger at Lily and Sirius. "You can't leave until all the judges' needs have been fulfilled."

Lily glared unhappily at Cheryl. "You fetch Judge James, Cheryl, and I'll ensure his 'needs' are taken care of."

Sirius doubled over, struggling to contain his laughter. James would surely be in stitches when he hears about Lily's drunken declaration of fulfilling his needs.

"Are you intoxicated?" Cheryl implored, eyes wide with horror. 

"Me? Intoxicated?" Lily chuckled, shooting Sirius a mysterious glance. "Not at all."

"She's definitely drunk," Cheryl pointed out to someone entering behind Sirius.

"I only had, like, two beers," Lily countered as security brought out a Breathalyzer. "That's hardly enough to get me wasted."

"Please, escort her out," Cheryl pleaded with security. "She's disrupting the proceedings for everyone!"

Sirius couldn't agree less; the room was either erupting in laughter or capturing Lily's antics on their phones. She had the entire room on her side, some people were even asking if they could leave too. Sirius had a sneaking suspicion that Lily might be able to get anyone to do what she wanted, she just had a certain charisma to her that most people dreamed about having. 

Undeterred, Lily continued, "Cheryl, listen. I'm all for the death penalty, so you might as well send me home—"

Cheryl motioned to the security guard, who seemed perplexed by Lily's behavior. "Come on, remove her from here!"

"Only a judge can dismiss a juror," the security guard reminded Cheryl, pointing out the rule she was so keen on enforcing.

"I want her out of my jury room!" Cheryl demanded. "She's mocking our national anthem, she's threatening to prostitute herself out of jury duty, and she's drunk!"

Sirius really couldn't keep a straight face as he pulled out his phone to contact James as quickly as humanly possible. 

SB: James, your future girlfriend is going to get arrested. 

JP: Someone just came into my courtroom complaining about a drunken woman in the jury room. Please tell me it was her. 

SB: I mean, it would've been fine, but then I dared her to sing the national anthem to everyone in the room and she did it.

JP: I'm going to marry this girl.

Sirius looked up from his phone to see Lily struggling against the hold of a policeman, her green eyes narrowed with frustration. He immediately turned to the woman at the front desk, Cheryl.

"Hey," he beamed dramatically, using all the Sirius Black charm he could muster. "So, my friend there isn't drunk. I swear. I dared her to sing to you. No harm meant. It was just for a bit of laughs."

"It won't be so funny when she's facing fines or jail time," Cheryl warned.

Lily let out a derisive snort. "Relax, Cheryl."

Sirius turned away from the desk to shoot Lily a disapproving glare, finding her lack of cooperation exasperating. Meanwhile, Lily was growing increasingly agitated with the security guard attempting to administer a Breathalyzer test. Sirius had little doubt that if they managed to get a reading, Lily wouldn't come out sober. Hell, he wouldn't either.

"You have no evidence that I'm intoxicated!" Lily snapped, her nose wrinkling with frustration. "We were just trying to pass the time because we've been stuck here all day!"

"Please, blow into this breathalyzer, Miss," the officer insisted, appearing as though he'd rather be anywhere else.

Join the club , Sirius thought.

"No way!" Lily exclaimed, pushing the breathalyzer away from her mouth. "I won't give you ammunition to use against me in court."

Suddenly, the double doors swung open again, and Sirius felt a surge of relief at the sight of James entering. Cheryl seemed relieved too, but James's attention was solely focused on Lily, his eyes brimming with joy. Sirius marveled at how James hadn’t even officially met the girl and was already getting heart-eyes like right out of a comic book. 

"Alright, alright, what's happening here?" James interjected as he approached from the staircase, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I came up here to dismiss everyone from jury duty, and now there's all this commotion about some drunken escapade. Where was my invite to the party?"

"She won't breathe into the breathalyzer, Your Honor." The policeman motioned in frustration to Lily, who had her arms crossed and mouth squeezed shut like a child at the dentist.

"Why does she need to be breathalyzed?" James asked. 

"We believe she's been drinking." Cheryl stated firmly, glaring at Lily with all her power. 

"But you have no proof?" James noted, shrugging nonchalantly. 

"She was just singing the national anthem at the top of her lungs." Cheryl deadpanned, “and you want to tell me she’s sober?”

"I'm actually just really super patriotic," Lily muttered resentfully, and Sirius had to clamp a hand over his mouth so that he wouldn't laugh out loud again. 

The same couldn't be said for James, who laughed out loud at Lily's cheek. "She has a point," James said to the police officer with a chortle. "It's not illegal to sing the national anthem."

"She smells like the bar," the officer said pointedly.

"I smell like cheap beer and disappointment too.” James said, tilting his head dangerously, “You want to breathalyze me?"

"Of course not, Your Honor," the police officer said irately. "But you wouldn't show up to a courthouse drunk."

"That you know of," Lily hissed loudly enough for everyone to hear, staring at her fingernails, not quite realizing which judge was standing before her.

"Miss, we can't have drunks running around the courthouse," the policeman hissed. "Please just—"

"Let me talk to the offender," James ordered in his deep tone, reminding Sirius how menacing James could be when he tried.

"Alright then." The policeman motioned for James to proceed, releasing his grip on Lily's elbow.

Sirius observed as James turned towards Lily, a smile spreading across his face. James stuffed his hands into his robes, wearing the goofiest grin imaginable before coyly greeting, "Hello, Lily."

Lily's eyes widened, and her complexion paled. "Shit."

Sirius wished he could etch every moment of this day into his memory, especially the look on Lily's face when she realized who the judge was.

James's hazel eyes danced with playful amusement. "Yes, it's me, Judge James."

"Judge... James?" Lily's surprise was palpable.

James inclined his head towards Lily, causing her cheeks to flush once more. "Pleasure to finally make your acquaintance," he said, offering his hand to her. "I'm the one who upholds the rules around here."

Lily hesitated, eyeing his outstretched hand. "Well, I'm in trouble now."

"And why is that?" James asked, a hint of amusement evident in his voice.

"Because you're hot," Lily quipped, a mischievous smirk gracing her lips as she finally accepted his handshake. “Got any handcuffs?”

James snorted, but Sirius could tell he was pleased by the compliment. "You don't have to butter me up, Evans. I'm letting you off the hook."

"Your Honor, she's clearly inebriated," the security guard interjected anxiously. "That goes against the code—"

James cut him off. "it's not just her, all these people are released from jury duty."

Lily let go of James’ hand and danced in place. "What? You're serious? We’re free?"

"You're released from jury duty," James confirmed with a nod. "You can go."

"Finally," Lily sighed happily, turning to Sirius with a triumphant look. "And I didn't even have to sleep with the judge!"

"I really hope that's not ruled out completely," James remarked shrewdly, earning an aghast look from the security guard. 

"Not completely," Lily shrugged. "But I thought you had to take me to dinner first."

Before James could respond, Lily (who was most definitely drunk off her ass) grabbed a fistful of James' robes and kissed him squarely on the mouth. For a second James remained motionless, and then he responded in full, his hands gathering up in her hair to anchor Lily to his lips. Cheryl almost had a heart attack when she came out around the desk to find Lily wrapped up in James' arms. And James was thoroughly enjoying it. All Sirius knew is that James took entirely too long "walking Evans back to her car" after they’d finished swapping spit. 

James faced repercussions from his boss for delaying an unresolved court case.

Lily was reprimanded for causing a scene and was slapped with a fifteen-dollar fine.

Sirius successfully dodged jury duty and found the entire outcome enjoyable.

Plus, Sirius had gotten another friend out of it. 

A week later, Lily and Sirius sat at the kitchen table engrossed in a fierce game of Monopoly, determined to outmaneuver each other, when James returned home from work. He hung his bag on the back of Lily's chair and leaned down to plant a kiss on her cheek. Sirius made a show of gagging before making his move in the game, eliciting a string of curses from Lily directed at his family name. 

Sirius just flipped her off and took more of her money in the process. 

“I love you both.” James chuckled at their playful banter before slipping his arms around her frame and planting his chin on her skull like a headrest. 

"So, still gainfully employed?" Lily inquired, Sirius knew she was legitimately concerned that her antics might have jeopardized James’ job.

"Nah," James replied. "I'm the only one there who actually cares about the cases. They can't afford to let me go, despite Cheryl's complaints."

"What does that woman have to complain about," Lily remarked as she navigated her way around the Monopoly board. 

"Cheryl, swears she witnessed you 'assaulting' James…” Sirius teased Lily, kicking her lightly under the table. 

“Yeah cause I was,” Lily said proudly, “with my mouth."

"Cheryl was way out of line with that accusation," James stated with a roll of his eyes. "It was quite evident that I was reciprocating the assult. 100% consensual assault of the mouths."

Lily leaned into James's touch. "It's not my fault that I'm utterly irresistible."

"Yeah, that would've held up in court," Sirius said, watching as James nibbled Lily's neck unashamedly. "God, you two are like lovebirds. It's nauseating."

Lily winked at Sirius as she tilted her head for James to get better access to her bare skin. "Feel free to leave."

"And let you have sex on our kitchen table?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Absolutely not."

"You two are iconic now, you know," James told them, pure joy practically bouncing off him. "Cheryl has taken to warning every juror that enters the courtroom that there will be no drinking before, or during, jury duty."

"Why does she feel she has the right to tell people not to drink?" Lily asked with a self-righteous shrug.

James hummed. "Apparently, you're supposed to serve your time in court sober."

"I bet she says you shouldn't sleep with the judge either," Lily mocked, looking up at James and batting her eyes.

"Probably, but I don't always follow the rules," James said, kissing her full on the mouth.

When he pulled back, Lily was beaming.

"And they let you be a judge?" she teased him, running her fingers through his black hair.

To Sirius, James had never looked happier in his entire life. "For some reason, they deemed me trustworthy."

Sirius swallowed a bit of whiskey before reminding the couple, "Don't forget the sorry bastard who introduced you two."

He wasn't sorry, not at all, especially when they all walked down the street to a Chinese takeout forty minutes later. Lily had one arm in James' embrace and her other arm wrapped around Sirius as they discussed what movie they were going to watch over dinner. They would joke about ‘The Incident’ for years after, the story always becoming more melodramatic with each theatrical retelling. It was Sirius’ favorite story to tell, and he recited it at their wedding two years later. 

“And it all started because I got called to jury duty…”

#jily #jily fic #james potter #lily evans #jily fanfiction #sirius black #guess who got jury duty summons and decided to drag this baby out from my old files?

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi! I feel a little bad prompting two weeks in a row, but if you feel up to it could you maybe do some more stuff with the sentient shadow au? I love it so much, I would love to see the progression of Alec and Magnus’ relationship (maybe through an outside pov, if you want).

I hope you have fun with this and enjoy your Wednesday!

here we go! also no worries, plenty of people prompt every week and there is nothing wrong with that. the prompts are all happy things for me, not burdens. so don't feel bad kay? plus i love starting to recognize names of those who prompt!

i'm greatly enjoying this wednesday and the last ones! i hope you are doing well and having a good day!

hope you enjoy

lumine

-

“I cannot believe you!” Magnus seethes the moment Alec is gone and Ragnor sighs and takes a deep puff of his pipe. “How could you have been hiding such a delectable treasure from me?”

“Magnus, I have a contract and an oath that restrict me.” Which is something of an over exaggeration but Ragnor is tired and he doesn’t want to deal with Magnus’ outrage.

There’s a huff and finally Magnus settles for a moment before he adds, “so what is he like?”

“Aren’t you going to want to find out on your little ‘thank you’ dinner?” Ragnor teases and it earns him a cold, sharp eyeroll. “Fine, ducky. Ruin my rare fun. The lad’s incredibly intelligent and calculating, or at least he normally is. It seems you rather turn his thoughts around.”

Magnus almost looks unbearably smug at that, but Magnus wears smug well and so Ragnor sighs and just relights his pipe.

“He’s both incredibly perceptive and incredibly sheltered about certain things.”

“Like?” Magnus demands, summoning himself a glass of whiskey as he gives Ragnor a viciously impatient look.

“Like casual intimacy. Or consider the power of touch, of which he knows little of. Alec lives in relative isolation from other people in the embrace of his powers. They’ve always protected and comforted him, and he relies on them, which mean very few are allowed to approach him.”

“They’re not merely powers.” Magnus muses and Ragnor nods his head, unable to say more due to oaths but wanting to warn Magnus. Alec himself isn’t the only obstacle in this that Magnus will face, Alec’s shadows will be the true obstacle. 

“I’m sure I can woo the entirety of him,” Magnus drawls smugly and he gives Ragnor a curious look. “What do they like?”

“They’re hungry, Magnus. Greedy and powerful and they only care for Alec. They’re incredibly dangerous and not to be underestimated, even by you.”

—

Magnus shows up nearly every day after that for a week, as if he’s hoping Alec will drop by again, which was rare enough the first time.

Finally, after much exasperation, Ragnor has had enough.

“Why not just go to the New York Institute, instead of portaling all the way over here?” Ragnor questions, cross after Magnus has come over and stolen the last of Ragnor’s favorite biscuits. A specific type that are warded by their baker against being summoned.

Ragnor will have to request a new delivery by fire message and he scowls at the additional work. He’d been hoping to avoid that until the next day at least.

“What do you mean the New York Institute?” Magnus drawls, “why would I go over there when I want to see my darling Alexander? Not some boring cannon fodder hunters.”

“Because your darling,” Ragnor says rolling his eyes, “is the Head and Commander of the New York Institute, Magnus. Weren’t you paying attention? I did mention it.”

“It wasn’t as important as getting him to agree to dinner—” Magnus tells him. “And you haven’t mentioned again at any point in this last week because?”

“Frankly, I have better things than just assume that you no longer listen to me at all.” Ragnor retorts and he summons a new cup of tea with a sigh. “I’m far too tired for all this nonsense Magnus, go woo the lad and come back once you have your boy. Perhaps with your influence, I’ll see him more than a handful of times a year.”

“Oh, you’ll be seeing plenty of him.” Magnus promises with a leer and Ragnor flicks him with magic.

“No! I’ve helped raise that lad since he was a wee one, Magnus. I’ll not have you telling me about how you plan to deflower him or anything else. This is one relationship where you will have to rely on Cat alone to pander compliments to your ego. Bring the lad around for tea and know that you’ll be staying clothed in my abode.”

“Deflower?”

Ragnor groans wishing he’s said defile and knowing he’s about to hit every one of Magnus’ possessive, covetous and prideful instincts with his words.

“The lad’s not shy Magnus. He doesn’t blush, he doesn’t stutter, he doesn’t get entranced. This isn’t a normal reaction for him. I’m fairly certain there is a graveyard somewhere dedicated to people who made the mistake of hitting on him. Alec generally considers it a nuisance. I hope you can understand what I mean and treat him well.”

Ragnor doesn’t say anything else, because he’s said enough and while he’ll step in if he feels he needs to, he trusts Magnus enough to let him try first.

“Thank you, Ragnor. Even if you did let me suffer for a week.”

Ragnor rolls his eyes and waves his hand in farewell as Magnus portals away.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #malec #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #shadowhunters au #star eater #star eater vs #sentient shadows au #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets

[clawedinmyprofessions]

HAM GC QUOTES THAT JUST MAKE SENSE

✨I shoved my ass in Macaroni✨

✨Oh I forgot there was nail polish in underwear✨

✨Why am I hereeee✨

✨ WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS IT'S BECAUSE U LIKE FUCKIN HAMILTON✨

✨ I'm gaslighting my brother into thinking he's a lesbian✨

✨Rat porn✨

✨for context they're gay for each other ✨

✨MEN ARE SO YUMMY✨

✨STFU ANGE✨

✨LET ME BE GAY FOR A MAN THAT IS 31 YEARS OLDER THAN ME AND HAS A WIFE AND TWO CHILDREN AND MOST LIKELY WILL NEVER KNOW OF MY EXISTENCE IN PEACE✨

✨ I'M SORRY I DON'T THINK JAZZY JONES IS NOT HOT✨

✨THAT'S CAUSE YOU'RE A GAY LIL GREMLIN MAN✨

✨ARSON IS FOR SEXY PEOPLE✨

✨DO I LIKE TITTES?✨

✨IDK DO YOU!?!?✨

✨WHY IS FUCK FACE NUMBER ONE TELLING FUCK FACE NUMBER TWO HOW TO MASTURBATE☠️☠️✨

✨ITS A GOOD DAY TO BE GAY✨

✨ Manslaughter✨

✨My house is on fire✨

✨ Are you reading Lams smut on A03 again!?!?✨

✨*Aggressively scurries to your house to dropkick you* ✨

✨NOW EAT *THROWS FOOD AT YOU*✨

✨MOWWWWWW✨

✨Thanks Daddy✨

✨ WE SUMMONED THE GHOST OF ALEXANDER HAMILTON & THOMAS JEFFERSON AND THEY ATE JULIE'S MACARONI ✨

✨ GOOD BOY NOW HERE'S A TREAT✨

#hamilton musical #alexander hamilton #lgbt chaos #hamilton memes #Hamilton chaos #look at what wattpad has done to me #american revolution #hamilton lams #lams fic #tumblr milestone #lams #gc chaos #john laurens #eliza schuyler #lafayette #hercules mulligan #horrible jokes #this is probably a bad idea #i shouldn't post this

[omnitheist27]

The 40: Catch the Bullet

"To answer your question, you get to be a superhero by believing in the hero within you and summoning him or her forth by an act of will." - Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias

----

@the-ravenclaw-werewolf, @purplemochi20055, @hulkchloron99, and @r3dp4nd4ch1ld

----

I decided to bust out my drawing tablet and use Photoshop again to create a comic for The 40, and I will say...it's a start for me to brush up on my digital illustration skills.

Izuku has come a long way after his year-long intense training regiment compared to his Pre-Character Development self. But the most gracious physical feat he had performed that would make Bakugou jealous and All Might proud, was being able to catch a bullet fired from a revolver.

I was looking over Alan Moore's well-known comic, Watchmen, and was greatly interested in Ozymandias' character and the astonishing physical and mental feats he's able to perform after dedicating himself to training his mind and body by retracing the steps of Alexander the Great by traveling the world. The one thing that interests me about how he managed to become what he is, is through his interview in the second to last issue. Where Adrian firmly believes that anyone can do what he can achieve, as you need to have the belief and willpower to see it through.

And what do you know...Izuku manages to do the impossible after the many trials that await him in the year-long intense training regiment. Reacting immediately upon seeing an unknown assailant pull a revolver on him, and summoning all of his willpower and technique to time his catching of the bullet correctly. However, like with Ozymandias, Izuku's skin was damaged from the bullet due to the obvious friction from the speed it had. But it's still a great accomplishment compared to his pre-training self, as the bullet would've burst through his hand and killed him, never mind the idea that he could actually catch it.

----

Afterward reaction from the other members of The 40.

Spike Spiegel: Shhiieeeeeeeeettt kid...you actually caught it...

Levi Ackerman: Well I'll be damned...

Zuko: Izuku...you did it.

Korra: That...was the most craziest thing you have ever done.

Saitama: ...Good for him...

Mob: That was close!

Edward Elric: How is that possible?

Ishigami Senku: That can't be scientifically possible!

Gojo: Bwa ha ha ha! Amazing!

Hanako: That was close.

Souma: Holy crap!

Mako: Whoo hoo Izuku-kun!

Kobayashi: That was too close for comfort!

Tohru: (worryingly) Izuku-kun!

Chika: Hmm...I must keep a close eye on this one.

Haruka: ...Huh...

Naegi Makoto: He actually caught it!

Ciel Phantomhive: That was...impressive...

Katsuki Yuuri: That took some insane reaction speed.

Shouyou Hinata: Go for it Izuku!

Saiki Kusuo: I knew he would catch it. Looking at you Omnitheist27.

Suzui Ryōta: I wouldn't take a gamble like that.

Heine Wittgenstein: He has come a long way.

White Blood Cell / Neutrophil (U-1146): The medulla oblongata must be very active for him to do that.

Satō Mafuyu: ...

Hasegawa Langa: ... 

Killua Zoldyck: While impressive for someone like Izuku, I've seen greater reaction time.

Kamado Tanjirou: Yeah! Izuku-san!

Kuroko Tetsuya: ...

Okumura Rin: I've got to train harder if I want to do that.

Fujioka Haruhi: That really was close.

Emma: Go Izuku!

Serinuma Kae: I've got to read Observepeople again!

L: To possess the will needed to pull that off...

Shiota Nagisa: I'm not sure if I want to do that...

Legoshi: So humans are capable of such feats.

Suzuki Iruma: I wonder if learning to catch a bullet would come in handy for school?

Fujinuma Satoru: That...is something you don't see every day.

Feliciano Vargas (North Italy): I'm starting to get flashbacks of Japan wanting to cut bullets.

----

Canon MHA cast reaction:

Midoriya Inko: (bawling) IZZUUUUUKKUUU!!!

All Might: (in English) Oh my...oh my...GOODNESS!!!

Bakugou Katsuki: Tch! I would've caught it as well!

Uraraka Ochako: You did it Deku-kun!

Iida Tenya: WHILE I WOULD NEVER RECOMMEND SUCH ACTION, I WILL ADMIT MIDORIYA-SAN'S EFFORT!

Todoroki Shouto: Midoriya...

Asui Tsuyu: That was reckless Midoriya-san, but good job.

Mineta Minoru: HE'S INSANE!!! Although he was pretty cool.

Kirishima Eijiro: MANLY!!!

Shinso Hitoshi: Could I do that...

Togata Mirio: POWER!!!

Izumi Kota: Kick his ass Izuku!

Eri: D-D-Do your best Deku!

Shouta Aizawa: (to the rest of Class 1-A) If I catch any of you performing a stunt like that...

#the_40 #fan comic #adobe photoshop #digital comics #my hero academia #izuku midoriya #bullet catch

[litterateurist]

HENRY never does anything like this. He's careful, controlled; he keeps his affairs and desires in check, out of the public eye at all times because that is what is expected of a royal, no matter how far down the pecking order they are.

But he hasn't been able to get the thought of it out of his head since Alex had mentioned it when they'd been teasing each other a few weeks ago. It had been nothing, a casual tease, but there was something in the idea. Perhaps it is foolish and, as Shaan tells him over and over (and over), Henry is just horny, and missing his boyfriend, but Christ. It haunts him in his dreams, it's an itch he cannot seem to scratch, so Henry eventually caves. He says nothing to Alex, of course. If he's going to do this, it's going to be a surprise and hopefully a good one, at that. Luckily his partner has a conference away for two weeks, and he is summoned back to England for Martha and Philip's anniversary. After (some) argument, Philip eventually and begrudgingly invites Alex as well, two days before. Thank God for private planes. And maybe it's that which eventually convinces Henry of the timing.

A bit of petty rebellion, if you will.

The collar itself is simple and subtle. Black, because the stylist had said that would best suit his skin tone (after she'd signed an NDA of course), and Property of Alexander is written on the inside, and debased on the outside. it's cold enough that Henry can get away with wearing a higher neck than usual, which mostly hides it, not because he's ashamed, but because he doesn't want everyone (Philip) speculating on his private life. There's a tiny part of him though that would rather like to see his brother's hair turned grey as his little brother's kinks are revealed to the world.

Hell, it's not as if there are many secrets left.

Henry's full of nervous energy on the actual night, Alex is meant to be arriving any moment, and he's nervous, but an excited kind, as to how Alex will react. Will he like it? Will he even remember their conversation? The door opens and Henry's eyes turn to it - landing on Alex and Nora. The breath leaves the Prince's body, his lips stretching into a grin and he doesn't care that he looks like a lovestruck fool because he is one, and he's also the luckiest sod ever to exist. He's chosen a soft blue knit top and smart trousers - this is, after all, meant to be a somewhat casual affair, though there will be photographers somewhere in the mix, and Philip has stressed that Martha wants it to be a relaxed evening. Don't even think about going near the bloody cake his brother had warned.

If Henry plays his cards right, the last thing he and Alex will be thinking about tonight is cake.

@firstscn: closed starter!

#firstscn #[as Henry] #/ I'm sorry its so darn long!

[classicanalyzer]

Final Fantasy 16 - Echoes of the Fallen Thoughts and Reflection

"The same enlightened souls forged great and terrible weapons called the Eikonoklastes-from which Eikons derive their name-and turned them against each other in the Magitek war." Harpocrates II Hyperboreios

This DLC finally gives a more in-depth look into the Fallen's "accomplishments" and their attempts to become God themselves. The Fallen had created their own artificial Mothercrystal (The shards being called Dusk Crystals) and artificial Eikon cementing their God-like ambitions. I wonder if the Fallen created artificial Eikons based on the summons Alexander and Ark. Thankfully, Clive and his allies were able to shut down the last Echoes of the Fallen by destroying both Omega-1, their artificial Eikon, and their artificial Mothercrystal silencing the Sagespire for good.

The Fallen's music theme fits these wannabe Gods incredibly well also serving as Omega-1's theme. The first couple of levels (The Worm Mounts) have a variant that uses the organs and operatic music to sell the ancient nature of this Magitek tower and its ambitions. The upper levels have a more ominous and urgent tone as you begin to see more of the horrific experiments conducted to overthrow Ultima.

Eikonoklasm, Omega-1's battle theme, is an epic battle electronic variant of the Fallen theme. It captures the epiphany of the Fallen's attempt to challenge Ultima by creating their own Eikon. It nearly defeated three Dominants, so imagine if the Fallen made more...a bit of a terrifying thought. A bit of a fun easter egg courtesy of Soken is how Eikonklasm also included eScape motif from FF14.

I love how the Sagespire serves as the final massive dungeon for Clive. Mysidia will serve more as our final explorable area but the Sagespire undoubtedly serve as our final dungeon.

Famiel, the leader of a trio of tribe miners and merchants, plays a thematic role in how the people of this world are tied to the Mothercrystals to survive. In particular, he shows how people who lost their lands to the Deadlands were forced to turn to any means to survive. In this case, they relied on the ambitions of the Fallen (their artificial Mothercrystal). In the end, he saw that a better future for his people would not come if this artificial Mothercrystal were to remain.

"I hope we did the right thing..." Famiel

A theme I noticed was how we see the difference between becoming free: Cid's and Clive's noble quest to free the world from Ultima by riding off the crystals (and later magic itself) versus the Fallen "freeing" themselves from Ultima by becoming "Gods" themselves.

"We don't want to be gods. We just want to be free." Clive Rosfield

Another theme that shares similarities with the Rising Tide DLC is how the wars for the Mothercrystals driven tribes searching for their own. In doing so, this serves to further Ultima's true goal with the exploitation of other Mothercrystals. However, he considers Leviathan to be a "profaned fragment." Ultima sees Leviathan as a heretic of some kind. To what end and why? There's also the fact that the land in Mysidia isn't affected by the Blight at all despite the lost tribe possessing their own Mothercrystal. Maybe Leviathan had a hand in this Mothercrystal's creation as hinted by the trailer?

With that, we shall travel onward to Mysidia and Leviathan in the Rising Tide DLC!

"If one does not learn from the mistakes of the past, one is doomed to repeat them." Harpocrates II Hyperboreios

#final fantasy xvi #final fantasy 16 #ff16 #echoes of the fallen #final fantasy #ff16 spoilers #clive rosfield #joshua rosfield #jill warrick #torgal #fallen #the fallen #omega-1 #famiel #music analysis #my original post

[steve0discusses]

Ep 48 Pt 1: Just Me Thinking too Much About the Shape of Obelisk's Ass

Got swamped by work stuff and sick stuff pushing my stupid fatigue to 11 but hell I need to write about Yugioooooh.

Last we left off, Isis and Shimon died in order to get Pharaoh back the puzzle so he could pull out the spicy god cards.

And I need to discuss butt plate.

(read more about Obelisk's ass under the cut)

I know that Obelisk probably never does a big sitty at any point of his day, but considering I have chronic fatigue now and I just big sitty all the time, I think about sitting a LOT. Like a LOT.

Anywhere this man sits down is destroyed. Like anywhere. He's got a gardening hoe for a rear end. This man could kill you with his butt in a way that's just way more devastating than his fists.

Why does this exist? Like have we EVER seen the back of a god card before? Like ever? It's fascinating, and parts of me wonder if whoever was doing this episode started sweating bullets when they realized "Does Obelisk have a butt? And how chiseled is the butt? I'm very concerned like, does he even wear pants? How cheeks are these cheeks?"

And like was the solution between if Obelisk would have a bubble butt or a flat butt to instead put a giant knife on his ass to cover it up? because I can respect it. It's a weird character design decision but so is this entire show.

And the character design is about to get a little weirder his episode because Yugioh reminded us that fusion exists.

Bakura is true to his word, and so we say "so long" to the theatrical pocket universe where these two yell asides at eachother across the DM table. We will go back to the isekai where Bakura will now become Zorc for the rest of the show.

Does the show give Zorc a British accent, do you ask?

No.

And I'm as confused and disappointed as you are. Alexander the Freakin Great had a British accent. But Obelisk? Absolutely not. Would not make sense. Who would do that?

Now in case you forgot, because I only do like one of these a month, Seto was left behind at the castle courtyard because Yami did not give him a ride to Kul Elna. You may be asking, isn't the...castle courtyard in the capital? Like right in front of us? Like why would Seto be in the desert?

I don't know.

Maybe that was not the capital where Sad Seto watched his not-wife die? Maybe that was somewhere else? Geography in Yugioh is such a mobius strip I've sort of gotten used to this.

Anyway, Seto is in the desert, and it may have been something we found out and I forgot because my fatigue is kicking my ass but like...I'll accept it because it's very funny to me that he's hiking around sand in that outfit, comes over a dune, and just sees those God card he REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted 4 seasons ago but lost to Yugi Muto just mocking him up there in the sky.

Also Seto believes in magic now. It was a very abrupt thing but it had to happen eventually. Better late than never, I guess.

And then the Egyptian Gods freakin biffed it.

Isis and Shimon would be shaking their heads about how they died for freakin nothing from their afterlife plane, if any of this were in fact actually happening and not a weird simulation in Yami Muto's mind that is in a puzzle wired to Yugi Muto's brain.

Speaking of which, back at Yami's tomb, Yugi is having a meltdown.

It's part of his creative process, having a meltdown. Yugi would have massive creative block without his routine. That's just world building.

Yami is also going through his spin cycle, now that the moon blocked out the sun and we don't have any way to fix that.

Except we actually do have away to fix that, we used it in Season 1 when we went up against Mako Tsunami (don't ask me how I remember that random fact but don't remember what I ate for breakfast) but the problem with the ancient Egyptian version of this card game is you can really only summon like 1-3 cards at a time. So, they're boned.

And now it's Seto's turn to fix Yami's problems, which like, wouldn't be the first time, wouldn't it?

Problem is, this Seto is just SO BAD at cards.

I really should've put the towel on this shot ps but like...I got tired. I got a bad fatigue week, so we're gonna go au naturale with this episode.

Now one of y'all did a fancy reblog and showed how Zorc looked in the Japanese version which can I say--is SPICY. Like the US version tried to connect the neck more with the neck of the dragon, so it's like a tummy dragon instead of peen but it uh...doesn't work from this angle, does it?

I'm just still reeling about how there is a dragon dick and it aired on kid's tv and they fully got away with it.

EGYPTIAN ROLAND SIGHTED.

We love Roland.

I'd recognize that bad stache anywhere. Just because you don't got glasses on doesn't mean we don't know you got a Roland doo under that headwrap.

Bless this man.

Also, Roland is shredded? I'm just gonna leave that there.

And that ends this segment. With the way we do image blocks...I uh will have to end it here. I can't have like more than 30 blocks total? And we're at 15 images? I don't know if it's adding text blocks to image blocks in that addition? I'm not sure how this new post system works so I'll just cut it here anywho.

Until then I'm going to go lay down prone on the ground like Yami muto in the image above. Kinda jealous of him rn not going to lie.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

(and for those who just got here, you can read these caps all in chronological order by using this link right here. Assuming it's the right link. With the new Tumblr post thingy, it has been randomly removing /chrono from the end of my link? Which sucks? anyway, hopefully it works.

#yugioh #photo recap #yugi muto #seto kaiba #bakura #yu gi oh #Mana #Obelisk #S5 #Ep48 #long post

[fandomscompilation]

Life over death (The Darkling x Reader) Prologue

Fandom: Grishaverse

Pairing: Alexander Morozova x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: Welcome to the new series for our beloved General! I don't know if I'll write it according to the show or if I'll finish it before Alina's story begins, it's still in works. I present you the beginning of the story! Let me know what you think and enjoy!

Gif is not mine!

The change was coming. Everyone could tell something was different that day. No matter if it was otkazat'sya or Grisha, they all felt it deep within. There was energy flowing through each one of them. Something old and mysterious, but it gave a sense of comfort, of home.

"What do you know?" The man barged into the hut shrouded in shadows. His body felt like it was on fire throughout the day. He called on his Healer, but there was no illness.

"I'm not all-knowing." The old woman replied not sparing him a glance. It irked him even more, everything seemed to irritate him that day.

"You can feel it too. Everyone does, they whisper." He stepped further in with a grimace of distaste on his face. "If there's anything you're aware of that I'm not. Tell me." His demand was met with a cold glare from the woman. They stayed in silence for a moment.

"I never felt it before." She finally spoke looking back into the flames of her fireplace. "But I can tell it's bigger than anything we ever faced."

"Do you think.." He hesitated for a second only to sight tiredly. "It's the Sun Summoner, isn't it?"

"No." Her answer made the man feel disappointed, even though he knew what she'll say. "Whatever it is, it'll come."

The night fell over each one of them. While their minds began to wander the world of dreaming something shifted. The move was slow and precise. Each detail was well thought-out. The energy pulsed only to quiet down the next moment. It was done.

#fanfiction #writing #fanfic #grishaverse #the darkling x reader #general kirigan #alexander morozova #life over death fanfic #requests are open

[gerbiloftriumph]

Floating Castle Liveblog (second read)

Turns out I just can't stay away from this book, or stop myself from doing live updates on Goodreads, probably to the irritation of my followers there and to the chagrin of the website itself, which is now overwriting old updates with newer ones, thus, my need to post them all here. For posterity.

And because I love Telgrin just that much.

March 17, 2019 –

page 0

I feel a sad reading funk coming on and the only way I can think to save it is with my boi, the greatest sassy villain ever, Telgrin. Awww yiss (I don't feel the mood for Princess Bride for once, so next step down it is). Feel free to follow along as I keysmash glee about this doofy lame villain and his impractical floating castle (usingthekqreddit's.pdfshackcoughahhhhkkk you didn't hear that from me.)

page 3

It just cracks me up to see a literal castle sailing by in the storm. Alex can pretend all he likes that it’s just a cloud formation—it’s still dang wacky and impractical.

page 8

Graham: Did you see anything weird out there? Alexander: Well, I mean. A literal floating castle, probably? Graham: Yes, that sounds sensible. Carry on. I’m grinning like a fool and I’m not even ten pages in. This book is my flavor of perfect delight, glossy purple prose and all.

page 11

The fact that Telgrin's castle is in a perpetual thundercloud? He's the sort of dude who would, in a modern au, just listen to the rainymood app constantly. I feel it deeeeeeep in my soul. The anticipation of the plot points has me positively grinning and I keep telling myself, "No, slow down and enjoy. The kelpie and troll and frog and tree wizard and all aren't going anywhere. It's okay."

page 14

I want to scoop Graham up in a big hug. He seems like a great person, such a strong king. Showing nothing but peace and respect to everyone, regardless of social status, who comes in talking about that Spooky Castle, and he's completely chill *until* he's alone with Alexander and can finally drop that mask and honestly show his fear. Even if you're unfamiliar with the source material, this is good character detail.

page 17

"A strange castle has intruded upon the peace of Daventry. I think it fair to assume that only a powerful magic could have transported it here." No, Graham, flying castles are perfectly normal things. Like birds. (here comes telgrin the sassmaster i'm so exciiiitedddd)

page 18

"While Graham occupied the throne, what misfortune could long hold sway over Daventry? What evil could prevail?" cough foreshadowing cough cough hack wheeze

page 19

I still believe with my whole heart that this bearded and blustery and large Sir Brian is a reference to Brian Blessed and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

page 21

Heeeeeeere's Telgrin! Struttin' in, debris from the door all in a cloud, swinging that stupid crystal staff in step with his walk, and freaking "pleased by the dumbfounded reaction his appearance had caused." My melodramatic diva. Let's do thiiiiis.

page 22

Graham, furious, demands to know why Telgrin's here. Telgrin flings back his head and cackles: "'Who am I? Why, I am your new neighbor! Have you not seen my castle there in the distance?' The man paused. He seemed to expect Graham to say something then, but the king simply stared at him. This seemed to unnerve the stranger somewhat" because how do you banter in silence? You can't be the sassmaster if no one plays! :3

page 23

Telgrin wouldn't come to the castle to announce himself as Ye Olde Villain until Graham had summoned a full contingent of knights. Telgrin, Sassmaster and Diva, requires a proper audience before strutting around. <3

page 23

"Do you seriously believe that simply declaring yourself king will make you king in truth?" "*Believe* it? I know it. It is a fact. Who can dispute it?" Graham rose slowly from his throne, straightened to his full height. Unblinking, his gaze was fixed upon Telgrin. "*I* can." "You dare defy me?" "I do." A twisted smile tugged briefly at the corners of Telgrin's mouth. "Good. I was rather hoping you would." Sassy.

page 25

Telgrin is so blissed out on his own sassy triumph that we could SO EASILY dropkick him and snap that stupid crystal staff in half and we'd win and the book would be over in a mere 30 pages. I swear, he's not watching his back at all. Alexander, take him out at the knees! ...or, don't. That's fine. We contracted a full novel from Sierra. I get it.

page 32

I want a Valanice book. I want this series to be a quartet instead of a trilogy. I want this so deep in my soul.

page 32

TREE WIZARD. I can't stop grinning; I love tree wizard. He's trying to nod and shrug and he doesn't have shoulders so he can't, because he's a TREE.

page 40

"Telgrin is a stealer of souls." "A stealer of souls? What's that?" Alexander, the name is on the tin. It isn't hard to figure out.

page 41

I know I should stop updating every few pages. I'm spoiling things and probably being annoying but it's been a long weekend and this is Exactly my flavor of comedy: tree wizard is offering Cyril to Alex, since he "'does all those things that I can no longer do for myself. And he is very good at keeping the woodpeckers away.' This did not sound like the sort of help that Alexander was looking for." Be polite, Alex. :3

page 45

Of all the things I remember from reading this book a year ago, Tree Wizard and his Tea is one of my top favorite mental images. Doesn't matter that we're slowly turning into a tree. Tea time is very important and we will Not miss it. There's even fanart of Tree Wizard and his tea on Tumblr, that's how important it is.

page 45

Alexander (paraphrased): "Sooo...do you know how to stop being a tree?" Morowyn: "Oh, yeah, totes figured that out. Could do it whenever I wanted. Kinda has a drawback, though." Alexander: "Yeah? What's that?" Morowyn: "I would immediately die." Alexander: "......yep, that's a drawback."

March 19, 2019

page 57

“Do you know where to look for a soul? Have you ever seen one?” One would assume it’s glowy and vaguely Graham-shaped.

page 64

I can not believe I forgot about this Literal Ringwraith character. It’s...just a Ringwraith. Pure and simple and obvious.

page 74

I did remember the Literal Lembas Bread, though. Fantasy tropes! *jazz hands*

page 78

One of the classic fantasy tropes is doing a long walk from point a to point b. I’ve got to give Mills credit: I don’t think I’ve read any other book that fills its protagonists up with magic bread that induces energetic power-walking before.

page 80

I remember being annoyed by this conversation the first time, but that was before I realized I held a Masterpiece of High Literature in my hands: “Good apple,” Cyril said. “Very good.” “Sweet.” “Mmm.”

page 87

“A rope, some apples,” Cyril said, frowning. “I still don’t see what you’re planning.” It’s called A Sierra Solution, Cyril, and they only make sense half the time, because this game series is haaaaard.

page 90

Kelpie rodeo. In what sensible fantasy novel would this be allowed? None, man. I love this book. [gerbil note: this scene also has fanart, because this book is amazing]

March 19, 2019

page 97

Alexander: Ho there! Sir Ogre! Ogre: /what did you call me/?! At least, that’s how it should go.

[gerbil note again: i did totally steal this very lame joke for captive crown later on and i'm not even sorry about it]

page 100

I didn’t quite realize how dorky this was the first time, but now I’m paying attention I’ve realized: Telgrin has exactly One lone storm cloud that occasionally spits out a lightning bolt, just hovering over the tower. In my head, this looks like a Winnie the Pooh cloud. Is that all the magic he could summon? One tiny cloud? Lame, and yet So On Brand for my sassmaster.

page 107

We've now entered the Road to El Dorado sequence of the book and I'm perfectly content. Barrel scene eheheheheeeee

page 112

Once again, the book stresses, it is but *one* cloud. One very black and lightning filled cloud, but a single cloud, nevertheless, providing all the ambient noise and mood. I find this bizarrely hilarious. It feels like Telgrin's equivalent of keeping his phone on low battery mode so he can keep using the Rainymood app.

page 120

The sassmaster's lair is just the most Extra thing. It's like he read a book on what villains are supposed to do, so he did it. He's got it all: high ceilings that vanish to dark, ludicrous amounts of moldering velvet curtains, "hideously ornate" braziers, and a perfectly silly black throne. Telgrin, pleaaase this is so unnecessary and not remotely sensible. You've copied someone else's homework, and badly. ilu.

page 121

And Alexander refuses to play the game. Telgrin has all these expectations on how this conversation is meant to go, he's basically reciting a script, and Alexander's just like, "Uhhhh....what?" So Telgrin moves on to Cyril, like Cyril will play along properly. I just can't. I love Telgrin to unfeasible levels of nonsense.

page 122

(Incidentally, I'm still kinda salty that Graham's soul isn't in the throne room, wedged in Telgrin's overly-flashy staff. It just feels more right than where he *actually* is.)

page 123

"You are an evil man." "So it has been said." Telgrin shrugged. "Personally I've always found that such abstractions do not apply well to life in the real world. They make matters that are by their very nature complex seem rather too simple, don't you think?" "Evil," Alexander repeated. Telgrin sighed. "I can see that you're really not up to a probing and dispassionate philosophical discussion" Modern AU: he's a Bro

page 125

I'm fairly certain this reference to Alexander having a hard time with stairs is a reference to the older KQ games in which if you misstep, you're going down, and if you're more than a few feet up, you're a dead man and you've got to reload a save. :)

March 21, 2019

page 129

Out of curiosity, I googled a Barikar to see if this was a real fantasy creature, but the only actual result is from the King's Quest Fanwiki to tell me that, yes, Telgrin owns a Barikar. ....nice, I guess.

page 130

By all technical and decent writing standards, this book is probably awful. Er. I mean, awfully great. High literature, deffo. But it *feels* like a King's Quest game. Every new place is described with just enough detail that you can so easily picture it in those stark, retro early gaming colors, or that pixel painting KQ5 style. I super love it.

page 131

The King's Quest fanwiki tells me that Telgrin owns the only Barikar in all of the entire canon of all fantasy, but it doesn't tell me if Telgrin *loves* his Barikar. I hope he does, because no one else possibly could. What a hideous beastie.

page 134

You boys should be ashamed of yourselves, disposing of a barikar. There was only one in ALL of fantasy EVER and now there's none.

page 139

I hate how funny I think it is that Alexander isn't even pulled together enough to answer his own mental questions. "Yes" is not always the correct answer, sir.

page 143

sassmaster diva telgrin's tragic childhood backstory-----OH WAIT NO IT'S NOT TRAGIC HE'S JUST ALWAYS BEEN A PUNK. I love him.

March 27, 2019

page 143

I wonder what Telgrin’s first thought was when he, A Pathetic Scullery Boy (tm) chopped Owen’s head off, presumably with a Vaguely Magical movement because clean-one-chop head removal is hard even with the help of gravity, man, and Owen’s head just started swearing at him from the floor. Like. That’s a dang weird mental image.

page 144

He holds his own head under his arm like it’s a football and it cracks me up. It’s meant to be serious and scary, probably, but I just love this headless ghost.

page 146

The most over the top baby monitor ever created

page 152

In fairness, this part is one of the most like the game-version would probably be, and it works the least because Alexander is working from information we don’t have. As a gamer we would have heard all Owen’s instructions and had to replicate them perfectly to avoid nasty game overs. As a reader it would have been repetitive for Owen to tell us, then watch Alex act, but there’s a disconnect now.

page 156

“After allowing himself to wallow in depression for a short while”—like, twenty seconds, if that.

page 180

Sinofas (paraphrased): Sooooo.....about that magic flying leap out of the tallest tower. What was that about? Alexander: We had a pressing need to leave the castle. Sinofas: Ever heard of a *door,* sirrah? (do note that I haven't stopped smiling for like twenty pages; this book's greaaat)

page 181

Alexander, paraphrased: So....you're not...friends with Telgrin, are you? Sinofas: He put his Giant Castle in my front yard and won't move it. What do you think??

page 183

I can't believe Mills feels he has to point out that Alexander makes for one Handsome Frog. A "rather large and handsome frog," indeed. Ffff.

page 183

And, I quote, "Did you speak, Sir Frog?" "That's Prince Frog, to you." Alexander, *please* reign in some of your sass. It's not helping matters.

page 198

I feel like the further this book goes, the stronger Alexander's sass gets. It'll never be Telgrin levels of sass because that man is the Sassmaster Diva, but it's dang good.

page 212

Sassmaster Telgrin *still* can't get anyone to dialogue properly with him. Graham's just as obstinate as Alexander and is really good at One Syllable Responses. My gorgeous royal family.

page 223

"At that moment, her second head . . . appeared to wake. It opened its eyes, blinked, and said, "Hmph. What's happening? Where am I?" "It's all right, dear," the first head said. "Go back to sleep. I'm just going to kill this man here." "Oh, that's all right then." I adore this book in ways I cannot express.

page 225

I'm so glad magic in this world, with this staff, works by wishing. So, basically, Telgrin must have said, "I wish King Graham's soul was mine" and so it was, and "I wish I had a fireball to kill Alexander," and bam. It's like he's making little birthday cake wishes, but Horrible Magic happens instead and it's kinda hilariously great. :3

page 230

Telgrin, through a magical hologram because this book is great: "Oi! There you are!" Alexander, exhausted and annoyed: "Whaddya want, Telgrin?" "What do you think? You've stolen my staff. I want it back." "That's too bad. I'm fairly sure that I don't want to give it to you." Now is not the time to start having a holographic fight. Pull back that sass, kiddos.

April 2, 2019

page 231

"The fact that this book is about the same size and heft as my Nintendo Switch tablet with like a pt 14 font, and the fact that it's still taken me into week three to read it, means I'm nice and deep in this reading slump. This should be a six hour read at *maximum*. Telgrin, take me away.

page 236

Alexander, you can't just order princesses to do what you want with magic. that's so rude.

page 237

To be 100% clear, Alexander, Telgrin learned literally everything he knows from Owen, and we can see how Telgrin turned out. One miiiight assume that Owen himself is not the most Noble of nobility.

page 240

"Alexander looked long upon the poor, filthy, shabby, beheaded, half-crazed man" -- I dunno, Alex, I might have led with the Beheaded part. Just sayin', seems the most important part.

page 248

"Alexander thought that it would be inappropriate to express regrets for the incident, since those regrets would not be deeply felt." Alexander, be polite. Don't start snarking with the villain, now.

page 250

"Lydia, Lydia, don't you understand? A man wants to idealize the woman he is to wed. This becomes extremely difficult *when she keeps bloody carping at him.*" Telgrin's breakdown from Eloquent Bro is the best thing ever.

page 260

Since the fight is taking place off screen, it reads most hilariously, with each combatant yelling, "Oh, yeah, that was okay, but what about THIS" followed by just basically a stream of sound effects. It's like reading an anime battle where they would normally shout out their attack names and I'm so into it.

page 266

Can I also add that I find it Entirely Hysterical that this HUGE FLOATING CASTLE is literally pinned into place? With like, a big bobby pin driven into the ground? And that's *it*? This is so impractical on so many levels, Telgrin.

April 3, 2019

page 267

Alexander actually expected Telgrin to win that fight, hah. Good confidence for the Good Team, I guess (Owen's placement on the Good Team being...sketchy, at best, of course).

page 273

See, Graham, Cyril remembers HIS adventuring rope when he goes off on missions. Take notes; it'll help you out in your 2015 voyage.

page 278

Cyril, you stud muffin.

page 283

"How did you find this?" "I got lost." Bab.

April 16, 2019

page 289

Graham Dying bedscenes are like, a favorite staple of this series, innit? And then KQ9 just had to go and take it allllll the way. Hhhh.

page 292

Come on, come on, someone say "a heart is a heavy burden" at Graham. Make this book perfectly complete. No? Okay, fine.

page 293

"I have much to be thankful for. I have escaped the torments that Telgrin thought to inflict on my spirit. I am in my own body again, in my own home, safe and surrounded by family and friends. But what makes me most grateful is that I am able to look upon your face once again, my dear one. For that is everything." Valanice laughed softly, and said, "Rest. You are delirious, I think." My FAVORITE royal couple hhhhhhh.

April 16, 2019 – Finished Reading

Five stars out of five stars. Again.

#there is at least one more goofy liveblog to look forward to #so look forward to that and that's an order #king's quest #kings quest #king's quest novels #telgrin #king graham

[plumbogs]

giving pets to college students is nice :) charon continues to have no respect for counters

Out of the art majors and into the science majors. Melody and Alexander both get to go to the science hall. He took a seat beside Beatrice, because the student summoning magics don't care about major logistics.

Melody needs yet another mechanical point and gets back into this dummy.

I don't bother visitor controlling college lots, so sometimes random people around town appear. It's honestly more realistic. Cassandra's a scientist, there are all sorts of reasons why she would be hanging around the labs. Whatever probably-official reason for her being on campus, her mere presence sets off that deep-seated instinct to be a younger sibling.

leave her alone

Melody goes to attend class with these two guys who decided to get the same haircut. How embarrassing.

He's actually a biology major, so it makes sense for him to use this thing for mechanical skilling.

he fucking killed this man

I found what I hoped was cute cybergoth outfits for Melody, but they were either not young-adult enabled or looked meh on her, so she's in a placeholder raver-esque fit for now. I gave Alex what is possibly the best worst new look I could muster. I believe as roommates they are enabling each other and saying that they can pull off anything, even fishnet arm warmers.

you know what. i kinda do like it. it needs a lot more accessories though. i think this also needs arm warmers of the giant faux fur variety... or a hefty amount of kandi.

yeah, this is a daily desire go ahead who cares that it's 9 pm its literally college

This thing makes any party basically an instant success. and just look at the cat... he's so eepy and all of these people are just giggling and blowing bubbles beside him... this never happened at the manor

this calls to mind something about pineapples and hydraulic presses. no clue why. moving on

the party vibes are pretty immaculate... I have no clue why Hal has forsaken wearing anything but pajamas lately, or why he ignored the party to do a little research. either way. this party didn't have any affairs or other giant drama for once somehow (benedick wasn't invited). I thought Bottom was still mad at Melody but I guess it wasn't a big deal because they all got along fine. That or she was swayed into forgiveness by her forehead goggles. they are pretty neat.

#sims 2 gameplay #alexander goth #melody tinker #this household is fun i'm having fun

[fanfics4world]

Hello! I love how you write Genya and I thought of something. You could write about Genya x reader x Alina. Some angs with a happy ending. Maybe the reader argues with Alexander and they comfort her. With some alcohol involved.

Not my night

Word count: 1645

Pairings: Genya Safin x Fem!Reader x Alina Starkov

Summary: After a confrontation in a bar and a fight with your brother, you finally return home, with them.

The sound of derisive laughter filled the air as you stood at the bar, drowning your sorrows in a glass of whiskey. 

Aleksander had sent you to "convince" several Grisha to join his cause, you got a few newbies, and the ones that didn't accept... well, they wouldn't be a problem anymore.

You finished your drink in one gulp and placed the glass on the bar with a thud, signaling the barmaid to give you another drink. "Another one? Don't you think it's time for you to go home dear" you looked at the waitress without saying anything, who simply shrugged and refilled your glass.

You were tired, tired of being your brother's errand dog, of doing his dirty work. "Soon everything will change" he said, "we will regain our power" he repeated. But everything remained the same, to the point that you had lost all faith in his plan, and all that was left was guilt.

The cheerful conversation around you had become a distant murmur as you became lost in your own thoughts, but you were abruptly pulled out of your reverie when a gruff voice cut through the air.

"Did you guys see that? Looks like The Darkling has brought his dog back to us. All that's missing is the sun summoner to complete his circus of freaks" sneered one of the men at the nearby table, pointing disdainfully at you.

You clenched your fists in fury, feeling the heat of anger burn in your chest. You were used to the taunts, the looks of fear and disgust, but you weren't going to let anyone make fun of Alina, especially not in her absence. You rose from your seat with determination, facing the group of men with a defiant look in your eyes.

"Do you have a problem?" one of the men asked, rising from his chair with a cocky grin on his face.

"I think I do" you replied, your voice cold as ice. "And I'm willing to solve it here and now"

"Well, well. Don't you need your brother to defend you anymore? Why don't you go back to your stupid palace, daughter of the shadow"

That was the straw that capped it all, the atmosphere in the bar charged with tension as your fist sliced the air with a swift and decisive movement. The blow carried with it all the pent-up frustration and resentment, manifesting itself in an accurate arc aimed at the man who mocked you and Alina. The fist connected with a solid impact, causing the man to recoil in surprise, his expression turning from arrogance to disbelief in an instant.

The room erupted in chaos as onlookers reacted to the sudden violence. you braced yourself for the counterattack, anticipating the man's angry response. However, before you could react, another individual stepped in, throwing a punch aimed at you from the side.

You felt the impact hit your side, a burst of pain that sent you back a few steps. However, adrenaline and determination kept you on your feet, driving you to confront your aggressors with renewed ferocity. With a snarl of rage, you counterattacked, throwing quick, precise blows towards your opponents while fending off incoming attacks.

The fight developed into a frenzy of movement and action, with you at the center of the fray. Fists flew in all directions, meeting their target with dull impacts that echoed through the air.

The sound of blows mingled with the screams of fury and grunts of pain, creating a discordant symphony of chaos and violence. You moved with agility and dexterity, dodging incoming attacks while throwing your own blows with deadly precision. Every move was calculated, every blow a step towards the victory you so craved, you didn't need your magic.

Finally, after a series of swift and brutal exchanges, the fight came to an end, leaving you gasping and covered in blood in the center of the bar. You approached the man who started it all with a determined stride, his gaze reflecting terror, which only satisfied you more.

"I'll tell you only once, speak ill of Alina again and I'll invoke the cut by splitting you in two, got it?", the man nodded frantically, which made you smile. In one swift motion, you grabbed his head and smashed it against the wall, knocking him unconscious.

Before you could do anything else, the doors of the bar opened wide, revealing a group of Grisha, followers of your brother.

Letting out a sigh, you stood up and walked out of the bar, finding your brother's carriage parked outside. You were definitely screwed.

"How dare you! Do you know the trouble you could get me into, are you incapable of behaving yourself just once or what?" Aleksander shouted, you avoided his gaze, focusing on the scenery as you made your way back to the Little Palace.

"They brought this on themselves" you said, still looking out the window, Aleksander growled, before you could react one of his shadows held your face, forcing you to look at him. "I'll tell you only once, make a fuss like today again and I'll-"

"What are you going to do, lock me up like Mom? If you get me out of the way you'll be left without your errand dog, who'll do the dirty work? Because it looks like you're afraid to get your hands dirty now-"

The sound of the slap echoed through the carriage, filling the space with a dull pop that cut through the silence like a bolt of lightning. 

Your cheek burned with the sharp pain of the slap, your brother's gaze burned with a mixture of frustration and contempt. "Don't ever speak to me like that again" he said, the carriage stopped, you had arrived.

You quickly got up and got out of the carriage, heading for the entrance, ignoring your brother's shouts, calling you angrily. When you entered, you quickly wanted to get to your room, but were stopped by your brother's strong grip. "Y/N, I swear that if-"

"No! I've had enough of all this! You may like to play the great General Kirigan, but I'm tired of following your orders and seeing nothing change!"

"And what was your plan sister? To let them exterminate us? To hunt us down until we're finished? Don't you see? With the sun summoner we will achieve our goal" you broke free from his grip, facing him full of anger.

"I swear that if you do anything to her, I will kill you Aleksander" you spat, he smiled, "Don't play the saintly little sister, your hands are as stained with blood as mine, but there is something you don't have and I do... The power to destroy you".

Before you could react, you were pushed against the wall, falling to the floor with a thud. Aleksander knelt down in front of you. "Continue to defy me and you won't like how this ends for you"

"Y/N?" you both turned your heads to see Genya and Alina in the doorway. Aleksander stood up, ignoring their presence he turned his attention to you. "You have been warned" and with that, he disappeared into the darkness of the hallway.

"God... I thought it would never end..." you stood up awkwardly, instantly feeling a pair of arms wrap around you. You looked up to see Genya's worried face, before you could say anything, Alina's hands reached for your face, examining it.

"Did he do this to you?" she asked firmly, you couldn't help but raise a small smile at her protective side. "No... well, he slapped me, but the rest were drunks in a bar" you replied.

"Am I wrong if I say you started the fight?" said Genya, which made you roll your eyes. "I may have thrown the first punch, but I swear on Ravka they started it" you replied, Alina shook her head.

As soon as Genya closed the door, you collapsed on the bed, you were exhausted, both mentally and physically. You felt the mattress sink in on both sides, you opened your eyes to see Alina and Genya watching you worriedly.

"I'm fine, I swear, it's just been a horrible night, I'm sick of following his damn orders! And when I mentioned you Alina... I don't know, I got mad, I've seen what my brother has done to so many Grisha, and the mere thought of him doing anything to you made me-"

Your rambling was interrupted by Alina's lips on yours, when you parted, Alina's hands caressed your face tenderly. "Hey, you don't have anything to worry about okay? I'm fine, I know nothing will happen to me as long as I'm with you two" Alina looked at Genya, who smiled.

You couldn't help but smile, if someone had told you that after what happened in the shadow you would find love and be happy, you would surely have punched them. But here you were, sharing your heart with the two Grishas.

"I don't know what I've done to deserve you two" you sighed. "Well, being tremendously sexy, I assure you and also being the most amazing Grisha I've ever met" Alina gave Genya a pinch, which made you laugh. "One of the most amazing" she corrected, before depositing a tender kiss on your lips.

"Because you, Y/N Kirigan, deserve the best" Alina said. "I certainly got it" you replied watching them.

Finally all the whirlwind of emotions around you calmed down, you were home, together with Alina and Genya, you couldn't wish for anything else. The blanket of the night hovered over you, warning you that it was time to end that day, lying on the bed under the covers, Genya and Alina's arms around you. You didn't know what would happen in the future, but as long as you stayed together, nothing else mattered.

A.N: Hello, the truth is that I had never written anything like this, but as angst is my daily food, I have enjoyed it very much and soon I will upload some Alina x reader. As always, thanks for the request and if you have more ideas don't hesitate to write.

#shadow and bone x reader #genya safin #genya safin x reader #shadow and bone #grishaverse #the grisha series #alina starkov #shadow and bone netflix #sab #sab netflix #x reader #reader insert #genya safin imagines #genya safin oneshot #grishaverse oneshot #grishaverse x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #grishaverse genya #grishaverse genya x reader #grishaverse genya imagines #grishaverse genya oneshot #wlw #gxg #alina starkov x reader #genya x alina #alina shadow and bone #aleksander morozova

[theolddivorcedzukka]

Tell me more facts about John Laurens please. You have to put up with my long ass posts about autistic ghost summoners from Jupiter so you can tell me as much as you like about Your Special Guy

!!!!!! okay sooooo

john laurens was blond. that is so important to remember cause he, like all blond men, dies a hamster death

he didn't like his dad at all omg. henry laurens was one of the biggest plantation and therefore slave owners in south carolina and laurens was a slavery abolitionist so of course he hated his guts. plus his father was always like "omg master jack could have the prettiest girl placed in front of him and he wouldn't even look her way" and john liked men sooooo. also it is said that his father might have known that he was gay and tried to erase all evidence of that by burning his letters between hamiton so that's why we have few to no letters from laurens to hamilton to look at

also nearly everyone called him jack!!!

he was a super cunt and it was such a shock when he let anyone into his inner circle cause he was such a cunttttt omg but he was very loyal and intimate with the people he did allow into his life and that's why the hamilton letters are so huge as well

did u know that he once insulted king louis to his face and he still got a loan from france and military supplies? coolest guy ever

he also drew a lot!! he loved drawing birds and he was actually really good at it

he was actually the most aggressive out of the combo of him and hamilton which is so surprising. when he dueled lee and injured him, he wanted to keep going and hamilton and lee's second had to convince them out of it before they killed each other

he called hamilton "my dear boy".......he never referred to anyone else this way

he had an ex called francis kinloch who sucked so bad cause he was a royalist and he laughed at john's ideas against slavery so john broke it off right then and there in the most passive-aggressive letter I've ever seen (he didn't address him by his name at the beginning of the letter, roasted him to death, and then closed it off with a simple "adieu")

close to this time, he got a woman named martha manning pregnant and married her to preserve her honor. his daughter was named frances which is weird considering his ex was francis so like.....who calls their kid by their ex's name jfc???

alexander allegedly found out about john's wife and daughter after reading a letter addressed to him and this was a year and a half after knowing him. oops?

HE FUCKED THAT GINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he was also held hostage by the british during alexander's wedding and alexander invited him for a threesome with eliza. btw

if you don't believe my last statement, he said "I wish you were at liberty to transgress the bounds of Pensylvania. I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation. My Mistress is a good girl, and already loves you because I have told her you are a clever fellow and my friend; but mind, she loves you a l’americaine not a la françoise" WHAT DO YOU MEAAAAAAN

hmm idk what else i can share but did u know that he was so fucking depressed like he was really depressed

#asks #sunshine-fruit-of-the-vine

[alexanderlightweight]

Any writing with short!Alec? I can imagine Magnus introducing Alec to his friends and they’re like ‘is this a joke? Is he invisible? Have you finally lost it?’ And Alec just steps out from behind him and completely fucks them up while Magnus watches with adoration.

i really love show malec and so i headcanon them as that and don't have any plans to write alec smaller though i would considering and have writen magnus bigger due to his warlock mark?

i wrote alec super tall for a prompt for @saeths and i also wrote a giant megladon!magnus mer for them but i like keeping malec at least as tall as how they come across.

i know that in the books alec is shorter than magnus but personally, i just adore that alec is a bit taller and scowly and softens and submits so beautifully to magnus. all of that power and strength and training and he just melts for magnus and my brain goes a;ksjbaksdbjf;abf.

this is an absolutely fine ask btw! i appreciate asks like this because it helps me explain stuff and i'm also willing to work around stuff to try and incorporate things.

this is smol!dragon!alec because i just got some good news (a meeting cancelled which means i dont have to leave the house or see none-house people today! - i am an anxious introvert and @saeths is a non-anxious extrovert so i love cancelations! and they like that i am around for cuddles) dragon style. part of the 'taste of his magic' verse as a treat?

<3 lumine

-

"I thought you said you had something impressive to show us?" Ragnor mocks as he steps in and plops in his chair, he stares over at where Alexander is pretending to nap and rolls his eyes.

Magnus stares at Ragnor and wonders just what is going on.

Alexander is curled up the size of a housecat on the windowseat and Magnus knows that he looks small, but he's still a dragon.

"Are you experimenting with reptiles again?" Ragnor asks, absently summoning himself a cuppa, "I thought you gave that up when you lost Baby to Camille?"

Magnus can feel the glow of jealous, accusatory eyes on his back and he blinks rapidly at Ragnor and wonders if he can get away with just summoning a scone into the other warlocks mouth. Anything to get him to stop talking.

"Ba-" he starts and there is a subtle hiss that only he seems to hear and he clears his throat. "The snake was merely an accessory, Ragnor. A security feature, hardly anything more than a sometimes useful pet." Magnus leaves out how cute the snake was, he doesn't think it would go well for him.

That seems to placate Alexander but Ragnor is sending him a confused, dubious look.

"Well then, what's with the lizard on your windowseat, hmm?"

"He's not a lizard." Magnus bites through gritted teeth because he can feel the force of Alexander's stare growing colder. "Ragnor, when was the last time you slept?"

"Oh a few days ago or so. Research and all that, you know how that is." Ragnor does look a bit peckish and the hollows under his eyes are a dark green rather than the normal shade.

"Ragnor-" Magnus starts and then he sees movement and he shifts, lunging forward to grab Alexander's nape with his maw. He instinctively growls and shakes and to his delighted surprise, Alexander goes limp.

-

Alec glares at the tired old warlock who interrupted his nap and then sighs, content as Magnus holds him close.

It's exactly as he planned and he smirks, smug from his position of being held and rocked by Magnus' mouth.

Alec smirks and, with a flick of his tongue, freezes the old warlock's tea.

The man splutters and gives them both an accusatory stare before his skin pales to a soft, sage green with fear as their eyes meet.

"Ducky, please tell me you don't have a dragon in your mouth."

Alec smirks and gives the lightest of trills and the warlock shivers, hands up in surrender.

Magnus chuffs around where he's holding him and Alec rolls his eyes, finally taking the force of his gaze away.

It's hardly his fault if even as the size of say, a lizard, Alec is too powerful for warlocks to gaze upon without fear.

... well, all warlocks except for Magnus of course.

#lumine answers asks #lumine talks to ppl #the taste of his magic #lumine writes