#a lot of places that specialized for it have a lot of overwhelming options

[stayconnecteed]

❪⠀🪐. hot chocolate⠀𓏔⠀bangchan⠀❫

☆ㅤbarista!bangchan x afab!reader ( i wanna be yours oneshots )⠀★⠀9.1k words

( i'm sorry if this sucks, i know it's long. have a nice day cuties ♡ )

synopsys: every time you tell someone that you don't like coffee, the reaction is total incomprehension, even indignation. but when your university classmates leave you standing at the café where your crush works, you decide to order a coffee to try to avoid looking bad and end up making a fool of yourself. warnings: i think fluff bangchan needs a warning by itself because woah you can become addicted. but a part from that, there's a brief mention of death while talking about korean mithology, reader is a very introverted and insecure person ーexpect a lot of sad thoughts :(( but felix is here to save the day and hopefully the rest of the story is a little bit of idiots who have a crush on each other.

You were stressed because the first semester was about to end, you had Christmas vacations around the corner, exams approaching at an overwhelming speed, and yet one of your teachers had given you two last-minute projects, one practical and one theoretical. Luckily it was in groups, and your best friend, Hyunjin, had included you in his after a quick pleading glance, assuring you some peace of mind. Not that he was very good at the academic aspect ーnotes, exams, homework and studying in generalー, but he made up for it with a great sense of aesthetic, and managed to make all your projects really visually appealing. Also, your other two friends were very nice and very good at the subject, so whenever you didn't understand something they would always offer to explain it to you with a big smile and kind words.

If they had a flaw, unfortunately, it was being late absolutely everywhere. And perhaps an unhealthy addiction to coffee, although that was not so much a flaw as a general characteristic of the vast majority of students. Sadly, neither of the two suited you at the moment, when you found yourself in front of the most famous coffee shop on the entire campus, all by yourself, after you had been forced to walk more meters than you were willing to do on a normal day, as they didn't show up at the appointed time. Having to enter without his company was not what worried you, but what you would have to face once inside.

To say you hated coffee would be an exaggeration. In fact, during exam week you would have a couple of cups to avoid falling asleep over your notes on those endless nights of studying, or in the middle of class, but it just wasn't your favorite flavor. You hated the taste. Too bitter, the unpleasant aftertaste instantly drying your mouth and lingering on your tongue as an annoying reminder of the beverage you had just tasted. You always grimaced terribly when you took your first sip, something that anyone watching you found absurdly funny, and then, as you swallowed, even with your eyes closed, a shiver would run through your spine, as if your body recognized the drink and reacted to it.

The problem was that 5STAR was a coffee shop that specialized in coffee. They had scones, and cookies, and brownies to go with it, but they didn't make smoothies or juices. And you usually only went there with Hyunjin, who had been responsible for asking if they could make hot chocolate that first afternoon you had met to study there, a couple of years ago, before he had even started working in the establishment. You had been so embarrassed that it had taken you quite a while to return, and since then you had always left it up to him to order for you, after you had made sure that the barista who was serving was either him or Felix, the blond, freckle-faced Australian you went to class with, because you had never felt judged by his smile upon discovering that the chocolate was for you.

But now you were alone, on the sidewalk, and the time you had spent looking inside the place was starting to look weird. Your options were simple: go in, order a hot chocolate, sit down to prepare the subject and pretend it was the most normal thing in the world, or go in, order the first coffee you saw on the menu hanging on the wall, sit down to prepare the subject and wait for Hyunjin to come through the door to ask him to drink it. Obviously, you chose the second option, too tempted at the thought that someone might judge you, so you closed your eyes, took a breath of air, and pushed open the heavy glass door, praying that the barista who was serving at that moment wasn't the cute guy who, you had to admit, you had a little crush on.

But there he was, behind the counter, with a friendly smile plastered on his face, his dimples appearing and disappearing as he moved his lips to talk to the customer in front of him. He had decided not to put on the beanie he usually wore almost every day, and his thick curls spilled over his head, giving him a more relaxed look, in contrast to the serious outfit that was the café's uniform, with black pants and T-shirt and beige apron. You knew relatively little about him, such as that his name was Chris and he had been at the same college you went to, but shooting him quick glances whenever you went and he was there was your favorite hobby.

You cleared your throat, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear in a nervous gesture and stood in line, fiddling with your phone case, pulling out a corner and putting it back to pretend your hands weren't shaking. You didn't normally get so nervous about social interactions, but it was true that your natural shyness and introverted nature have given you more than one bad experience. And the fact that you were going to talk to Chris for the first time only made your anxiety skyrocket, because you know you weren't able to control what you say. Your mind went on autopilot, and all you' were left with was remembering for weeks the nonsense you had blurted out, unable to change a single word. You tried to formulate in your head the phrase you're going to use as the queue slowly moved forward, your gaze locked on the way you move your feet as you walked.

"Hello?" you heard, lifting your head so fast you feared you'd hurt your neck. Great, you were so distracted you didn't notice when it was your turn.

"Hi" you replied, forcing your eyes to fix on his and stopping them from roaming over every feature of his face. Fixing on his but blinking normally, you reminded yourself, clearing your throat again.

"Good afternoon" he repeated, his voice soft and gentle, one of his hands already over the screen to take down your order. "What will you have?"

"Oh..." you murmured, trying to rescue from your memory the phrase you had prepared. Don't say hot chocolate, don't say hot chocolate, don't say... "Hot chocolate."

"Huh?" he asked, his lips parted and his eyebrows furrowing in adorable confusion. You realized your tone was too low and he probably hadn't heard you correctly, though it was clear you had said something, denying you the chance to make up another answer to cover your mistake.

"Hot chocolate" you whispered again, glancing at the three people behind you, trying not to let them hear. You noticed the heat flushing your cheeks as you spoke, "Can you, uh, can you say it's something else?"

"Excuse me?" you couldn't help but watch his frown deepen even more, and you made a panicked face, trying to find a convincing excuse that didn't expose your null extroverted abilities or how poorly you had approached the conversation. Chris realized almost instantly how it was affecting you, and reached a hand over the counter to caress yours, relaxing his features. "Hey, hey, I just don't understand what you mean."

You heard the hammering of your heartbeat all over the place, drowning out the background noise as it rumbled in your ears, or in the muscles of your hand that were in contact with the barista's skin, but mostly in your chest, at such a volume that for a moment you feared all the café would be able to hear it. You swallowed saliva with difficulty, your mouth suddenly completely dry, and tried to formulate something that made a minimal amount of sense, "I'd rather not drink coffee, but I don't want those in the back to know that I ordered hot chocolate."

And then you saw him flash that smile you loved so much, trying to stifle a laugh, and he nodded, withdrawing his hand from above yours to write it down.

"Don't worry, I'll personally take care of your order" he assured you, his eyes glinting at the screen, biting his lip unconsciously in a gesture of concentration. "A mocca coffee, then, right?" he said, raising his tone a little.

"Yes" you replied, avoiding his gaze, shyly, when he shifted it slightly towards you to ask for your name. You set your phone down on the marbled surface of the counter to rummage through your totebag for your wallet. "It's to take here, not to go."

"Oh, then I'll bring it to you at the table when it's ready," he announced, leaning on his forearms to look down at you.

"But..., how much is it?" you asked, confused, the wallet open in your hands, a few coins on your palm.

"It's on the house" he answered you, his dimples accentuating.

The warmth in your cheeks spread across your face, and you made a little bow, knowing that you must have been flushed to your ears. You didn't bother struggling to hide your smile, and hurriedly put away your wallet, grabbing your phone and mumbling some kind of nervous thank you. When you turned around, your face out of Chris's gaze, you sighed, placing your hands on your cheeks to calm down a bit, and looked around for some table to sit at. The one you normally occupied was being used by a girl, but there were few people at that time, so you chose a nearby one, assuming Hyunjin wouldn't mind, and once everything was ready you started to take out the material.

You had brought your laptop, of course, and had printed out some ideas you'd had, sketching in the margins how you intended to cover the visual part 一although that was taken care of by Hyunjin. But you knew he was a bit chaotic, so having a base for what the presentation would look like always came in handy. That day you were going to prepare the theoretical part, in which you were to choose a song and a theme, write a long document stating your reasons, and then prepare a performance in which you would narrate some typical legend of the country through dance. As if you had the mental capacity to create a choreography from scratch at this point of the semester.

You knew it was going to be a relatively short meeting, because you were all out of time, so you entertained yourself looking for songs that would inspire you for the theme you had chosen, the Jeosung Saja. To tell the truth you had no idea about Korean mythology, but you had spent the whole afternoon looking for ideas on the internet and that was the most likely to present a good dance. They were messengers from the afterlife, those who guided the dead to the afterlife. You had read that they were usually represented with a black hanbok, and they also appeared in some dorama that had become famous, so you could develop a dark aesthetic, as Hyunjin liked so much.

You were so engrossed in rereading what you had written on your laptop screen, and in the list of songs recommended by the teacher, that you didn't notice that Chris had left the cup of chocolate on the table. You had to contain the pout you wanted to make, because you were sure he hadn't said anything to avoid disturbing you. It smelled wonderful, and he had left you a plate with a buttery croissant next to the hot chocolate, with a folded paper napkin that read "a mocha for the lovely girl at table 8 :))". Your lips began to curl into a smile as you took the napkin and carefully tucked it away in your planner, unable to stay focused on the music anymore.

Just as you had taken the cup in your hands, the temperature of the porcelain fighting the coldness of your skin, and warming your throat as you tasted it, Hyunjin and Felix entered the room, a chaos of laughter and exclamations, Sunwoo following closely behind, engaged in their conversation. You pretended to wince angrily, frowning and hastily putting the cup down on the table to cross your arms over your chest, giving Hyunjin a dirty look. When the boy noticed your state he hurried to sit next to you, his chin resting on your shoulder, mumbling various apologies about his delay.

"It was my fault, Ynnie," stated Sunwoo, setting his backpack on the table and sitting down across from you. "We were practicing the dance in Professor Park's class and there was a sequence of steps that kept going wrong for me."

"Don't worry, Woo" you replied, snuggling up next to Hyunjin, like always when you were together. "I'm doing it to annoy him."

"And what are you going to complain about if you got your chocolate?" you heard him mutter, picking up the cup to steal a sip from you.

"No thanks to you" you whispered back, taking it from his hands to drink yourself.

"Oooh, come on, don't be like that" he protested, his head resting on your shoulder, rolling his eyes, which managed to snatch some laughter from Felix. At your silence he turned just enough so he could make eye contact with you. "Are you really mad?"

"No."

"But?" he asked, knowing from the way you were that you weren't going to let on how much it had upset you if that had been the case.

"I had a hard time" you muttered, hiding behind your cup. "Neither Felix nor you were here to save me from having to ask for it myself."

"Whose turn was it today?" Sunwoo spoke up, turning to Hyunjin as he pulled out his own laptop.

"Chris" you replied, your cheeks reddening again.

"Oh" Felix said, before cracking a smile that hid how much he was dying to let out a squeal of excitement, "oooh."

"Oh, what?" asked Hyunjin, peeling slightly away from you and frowning in confusion.

"Nothing" you ended the conversation with a warning gesture to Felix, who pretended to run a zipper over his lips, and handed out the printed sheets of paper with the information you had found the previous afternoon, trying to get started on the project. "Well, I had thought about..."

"No, oh, what?" repeated Hyune, completely ignoring the written words and dividing his attention between the freckled boy in front of him and you, "what does he know that I don't?"

"Dude, if you don't know it's because you're just blind" Sunwoo stated, focused on the information, with a gesture of disbelief on his face.

"Guys, please" you requested, avoiding looking at Hyunjin and glancing back down at the sheet. "As I was saying, I had thought of basing our dance on the legend of the Jeosung Saja. You have a summary there, but I'll comment quickly: we can create a story from scratch about someone's death, and have two of us act as the Korean messengers, who let him say goodbye to the love of his life before guiding him to the afterlife, or something like that. I don't have the music yet, but it sounds like a good plan."

"It says here that we'd have to look for some black hanbok" Sunwoo pointed out, as you nodded, and shared a look with you, implying that he approved of the idea, already looking for ways to carry it out.

"Actually, I had thought of something else" Felix muttered, his fingers fiddling with the paper nervously. "Ehm, I read an article yesterday about these... Korean ghosts. They're called Gwisin, and there are four types, like us, there are four of us. There's Cheonyeo, which is the virgin ghost, Mul is the water ghost, Chonggak is the single man ghost, and Dalgyal is the egg ghost. There's only one girl, so it seemed perfect to me. It still has dark aesthetics, because they are wandering spirits of humans who have died with unfinished business, and also to record the dance we can talk to my friend Jake, who is doing a degree in photography and is good with cameras."

"I was going to propose Han or Chris to help us with the music" Sunwoo added, "because with all the time they spend glued to their laptops they're sure to have some track we can use, and we don't even need lyrics."

"Oh, it's actually much better than my idea, Felix" you agreed, closing the tab with the information you had searched for and starting to research about the Gwisin. As you read, you brainstormed, rambling outloud. "We can connect the lives of the four characters, do four solos that blend together, and add minutes of duets until, at the end, all four spirits end up accomplishing the unfinished business they had and do a final scene together"

"Yes!" exclaimed Felix, excited. "Just what I had thought. They've made scary movies about the Gwisin, but we can give it a dramatic twist. The virgin girl was an unrequited love of the water ghost, for example. We're going to have to get a pool to shoot the moment when he dances, you know, when he drowns and dies."

"That can be the start of the dance" proposed Sunwoo.

"I offer it to be me, if you want" said Felix, "I don't mind getting in the pool in December. I have enough experience in cold water, from when I was in Australia."

"Perfect" you affirmed, glad that you had gotten the job on track so well in such a short time. "I think we can go straight back to the studio to prepare the music, what do you think, Hyune?"

He had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout your talk, head resting on the back of the seat and gazing blankly, taking small sips from the cup of hot chocolate, with absent-minded gestures. You could almost see the gears turning in his mind, as he slowly nibbled at the croissant Chris had left for you. There was something that had been bothering him.

"I need a coffee," he muttered, leaving your empty cup on the table and ignoring your question, "would you like another chocolate?"

"Hyune..." you mumbled, confused at his attitude.

"I'll order it to go, don't worry" he added, grabbing his backpack. "I think Han is at home and has the 3racha equipment."

You shrugged as he stood up, and you then began to pick up your laptop and notebook, shoving them into your bag in a hurry to keep up with Felix and Sunwoo, who had hardly had to put anything away. Sunwoo had his own laptop already in the case, and Felix was folding the paper you had printed out, carefully, to tuck it between his notebooks, into his backpack. The three of you headed outside, to wait for Hyunjin, while Felix ran a hand around your waist, trying to coax information out of you.

"So..., Chris, huh?"

"Can we talk about how Hyunjin is mad for talking about it in front of him when he doesn't know anything?" you replied, giving him a loving punch on the arm. "Drop the topic."

"But it's the first time you've talked to him!" he protested, pouting, "I want to know everything!"

"YN is right, Lix," Sunwoo supported you, to which you shot him a grateful look. "Hyunjin is our creative soul and he hasn't blurted out a single word, that says a lot about the situation."

"I'm going to have to tell him about the crush, anyway" you stated, making the decision on the spot, leaning against Felix, "because it's not fair that he doesn't know."

"I don't understand why you haven't told him yet" he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hyunjin and Chris work together" you explained, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "and besides, they're close friends."

"So does Felix" Sunwoo reproached, frowning.

"Felix keeps my secrets" you confessed, resting your head on his shoulder with a smile. "Hyune is too much of a gossip to keep that sort of thing to himself."

"If you tell him it's a secret he sure won't let it out" Felix muttered, defending his friend.

You glanced inside the shop, where Hyunjin was leaning against the counter, throwing his head back every time he let out a laugh, while Chris was talking to him, moving fluidly between the machines, preparing the order with expert hands. You couldn't help but feel a pang of envy at his familiarity. You weren't used to feeling this way about your friends, but the way Hyunjin's eyes twinkled at the jokes the barista would drop with a serious gesture and then burst into adorable laughter made you wonder if you hadn't been a little blind to their interactions. You tried not to think too much about it, but you had always had very bad luck with your crushes, something that had only increased your insecurities, and had forced you to keep a low profile on such matters.

"YN?" murmured Felix, one hand caressing your shoulder in an affectionate gesture. "You know he wouldn't say anything, right?"

"I know, it's just..." you lost the thread of your words, absorbed in the scene unfolding behind the glass, Chris reaching for a black marker to write something down on one of the take away cups, Hyunjin too busy searching for his wallet in his backpack to notice.

"Whatever you're overthinking right now isn't true" you heard the freckled blond say, drawing your attention back to him. "It's not the first time you've broken your own heart by heeding unrealistic assumptions you've got stuck in your head. Trust Hyunjin, he would never hurt you on purpose."

"I know," you repeated, turning to face away from the café, but avoiding making eye contact with him, "but I don't... I know and I repeat it to myself, but sometimes I just don't listen, even if it's true."

When you looked up, your eyes beginning to fill with tears you didn't intend to shed, Felix was giving you a look full of understanding. You had few friends as close to your heart as he and Hyunjin, but between Lix and you there had always been a kind of connection built on a common bond, as had been the constant insecurities that only you were able to keep from escalating.

"Let me know when it's like this," he asked, his hand leaving your shoulder and running down your arm until it came to fidget with your fingers, "give me a sign, or look at me. I'll remind you."

You nodded, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck, letting yourself be comforted by his touch, and managed to muster a smile as he tried to give you a hug but your totebag blocked his way. You saw him pout, and you let out a laugh, being interrupted by a shy cough from Sunwoo, who had taken a couple of steps away to give you privacy.

"I'm talking to Han and he asked me what kind of music we're looking for" he explained, pointing to his phone, "in case he can go looking through the songs they have already done or half done, so we don't have to start something new."

"Oh, sure" you said, frowning in a thoughtful gesture. "I'd say something dark, wouldn't you?"

"No doubt" Felix seconded, nodding at your words.

"And since the main choreographer is Hyune, add elegant and heart-wrenching as well" you straightened your figure, watching as Sunwoo typed hurriedly, his fingers speeding over the screen, "if what we're going to narrate is a story of unrequited love, and death, we'd better do something dramatic."

"A hot chocolate!" exclaimed Hyunjin, pushing the door open with his hip, both hands busy with the take away cups. "A hot chocolate for you, and coffee for me."

"Thank you, Hyune" you whispered, leaving a kiss on his cheek as he handed you the cup, again grateful for the warmth emanating from it.

"Looks to me like it has a message, Ynnie" Felix said to you, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, pointing to the letters you could guess under your fingers. You noticed how your cheeks flushed again, moving your hands so you could read all the words, and recognizing Chris's neat handwriting.

"What the hell are you talking about?" exclaimed Hyunjin, rushing over to you to try to read it first. "What does it say?"

"Thought you were really cute, leave my number here" you murmured, starting to crack a big smile, savoring the words as you said them, your heart skipping a beat when you saw that he had drawn a smiley face again and you imagined him, showing his dimples.

Hyunjin had repeated it again aloud, and you heard Felix stifle a gasp, holding his hands to his mouth, his face the vivid image of surprise. Sunwoo had merely let out a laugh and shook his head, as if he didn't believe what had just happened, still holding his phone in his hand. When you looked up, you found disbelief tinting Hyunjin's eyes, one of his hands still holding your arm from when he had rushed to read message over your shoulder.

"Oh," you breathed, causing Felix to snort.

"That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you expect me to say?" you replied, a soft chuckle bubbling up inside you.

"At least say hello to him through the glass," Sunwoo suggested to you, tilting his head in the direction of the café, which was at your back, "the poor guy looks like he wants to turn into a giraffe, from how much he's stretching his neck this way."

You turned your head as soon as you processed what Woo had just said, listening to Hyunjin complaining if that had anything to do with what Felix had said when you had confessed that the barista who had served you was Chris. Just as your friend had said, Chris was resting his hands on the counter, his body almost hovering completely over the surface, trying to figure out what your reaction had been. The moment you made eye contact, and gave him a shy smile, he couldn't help but turn with a jerk, suddenly suddenly busy with a non-existent order.

"Ynnie has a cruush" Felix crooned, causing Hyunjin to open his mouth in a gesture of exaggerated drama that you totally deserved.

"And you weren't planning on telling me anything!" he exclaimed, indignantly.

"She was literally going to tell you now" Sunwoo interjected, helping you balance the tragedy, "but Chris beat you to it."

"I have to tell Changbin" commented Felix, picking up his phone, "now he owes me money."

"You were keeping a bet on them?" asked Hyunjin, pouting. "Did everyone know but me?"

"Hyune, YN doesn't know how to pretend" explained Felix, resting a hand on his shoulder as he reached for Changbin's contact, "Changbin only needed to spend a few minutes with her at the café to figure it out."

While they started a new argument on the topic, you brought the glass to your lips, wanting to taste that drink that you liked so much, and that now that you knew that Chris had prepared it with so much love, it had become your favorite. But as soon as you took a sip and the bitter taste of coffee settled in your mouth, you pushed the glass away, trying to avoid looking into the coffee shop with a confused gesture, and taking the cap off, as if you wanted to make sure that what you had just drunk was definitely not chocolate. But when you breathed in the unmistakable smell of coffee, you noticed how your chest contracted. And suddenly you saw, as if in slow motion, the interaction Chris had had with Hyunjin while you waited, the adoration with which the barista had watched your friend laugh. How he had taken advantage of just when Hyunjin wasn't looking to write the note in his coffee, all those times you had caught them talking and they had fallen silent in your presence. How, yet again, the guy you'd fallen for chose someone else over you, another crush that ended badly, and it pained you to look back and only see a trail of stories in which the only heart that had ended up breaking was yours.

"Hey, let's get going, shall we?" proposed Sunwoo, getting your attention.

You listened as Felix and Hyunjin agreed with him with small nods, but without letting go of their playful bickering, taking off walking towards the apartment where the latter lived with Han Jisung. You had heard them, but all your enthusiasm for the project had vanished, leaving in its place a constant stinging in your eyes, which struggled not to tear up in the middle of the street.

"YN, aren't you coming?" asked Hyunjin, stopping everyone when he realized you weren't with them, that you had stayed behind.

You managed to shake your head, a small movement that was enough to make your friend frown, taking a couple of steps towards you. You tried to compose yourself, ignoring your feelings 一at least for the moment一 and swallowed before formulating the first excuse that came to mind:

"I'm... not feeling too well, guys" you stammered, intensifying your gaze towards Sunwoo, who was the most likely to let you go without asking too many questions.

"But a moment ago you were perfectly fine" Felix muttered, and you noticed his eyes on you, trying to unravel the hidden reasons for your departure.

"I'd rather go home" you said, in a whimper, the warmth of the glass that had comforted you so much a few seconds ago suddenly burning your skin, "you guys can choose the music. It's Lix's idea anyway, it's only fair that he gets to decide."

"Are you sure?" asked Hyunjin, coming up to you, putting the back of his hand on your forehead, like a worried mother would do with her baby.

"Mm-hm" you held out the coffee cup, unable to hold it for much longer, for him to take, and made the mistake of looking at Felix before blurting out a "this is yours" directed at Hyunjin.

You cleared your throat, placing the straps of your totebag more comfortably over your shoulder, and muttered some sort of goodbye before turning and running away, not quite witnessing the way Felix had snatched the cup from Hyunjin to check its contents, and letting out a frustration-laden sigh as he realized what your train of thought had been.

The rest of the afternoon had not been very relevant. You had work to do, like everyone else, and you were also one of those people who wanted to get all your notes done before the Christmas vacations, so you used to spend all December writing again with better caligraphy all the topics you've learned throught the semester. You didn't want to collapse yet, you preferred to keep your head busy, trying to pretend that nothing had happened until you couldn't take any more. In any case, you had already entered that stage where you began to belittle your own thoughts, doubting that your response to the situation had been the right one.

Or, if you stopped to think about it long enough, you could almost see your insecurities swirling around your heart, suffocating you from inside your own chest. That's why you had immersed yourself in the most difficult subjects, praying that filling your head with information would empty it of stupid reasonings. And you had succeeded in your purpose, at least for as many hours as possible, until you heard your phone ring between the couch cushions and snapped out of your self-absorption to answer it.

"Yeah?" you mumbled, your mouth dry from having gone so long without speaking, not paying attention to who was calling you at that hour.

"Ynnie" you heard Felix say, his deep voice sending a shiver down your spine. "How are you?"

"How am I?" you repeated, clearing your throat and straightening your posture, as if he could see you and you had to play the role of carefree teenager. "Fine. Well, stressed about finals, but like everyone else, I guess, right?"

The laugh that escaped your lips without permission sounded too fake, and you closed your eyes, wincing, because you knew it wouldn't be believable. You obviously knew Felix wasn't an idiot. He'd probably realized you'd left for a compelling reason, and not exactly because you'd suddenly been struck by a migraine or a tummy ache. You considered lying and saying that you'd had your period the day before; he knew perfectly well that you had a really bad time the first few days. But it wasn't going to be worth it.

"You know that coffee..." he started to explain, his tone totally serious, as if he was telling you off.

"Stop" you interrupted him, standing up, your notebooks and papers strewn across the table, being ignored, as you paced around the room like a caged lion. "I don't want to talk about it, don't bring it up, please."

On the other end of the line, Felix made eye contact with Hyunjin, who was sitting next to him, listening to the whole conversation, and let out a long sigh, "Okay" he agreed, unable to force the conversation, "but remember what I told you, okay?"

"Yeah, whatever" you whispered, trying to avoid having to give an answer. "Did you call me to talk about that?"

"No, actually" he stated, and your lips curved into a sad smile at the emptiness you felt when you realized he had dropped the subject, just as you had asked. You didn't know if it was relief at not having to deal with the situation, or if you were hurt at how quickly he had given up, "It's about the music for the project."

"Do you guys have the song yet?"

"We need you to choose it," you had spoken practically at the same time, the silence that followed the cacophony of voices heavy on your shoulders, and Felix held his breath, waiting for an answer he didn't know if it would come.

"You can send me an audio of the options Jisung has, can't you?" you asked, hoping your friend wasn't asking what you knew he was going to ask.

"He has them on his laptop" he added, without actually explaining what he intended for you to do.

"Aren't you with him?" you frowned in a confused gesture, not understanding what was going through his head, "can't you ask him to put them on?"

"I'm at my place" he confessed, and you heard the movement of clothes as they brushed against each other, you guessed he had gotten up from wherever he was sitting, "Hyune and I came over after talking to Han because he had to meet his group from his AV Tech class. But he's going to stop by later, in case you wanted to come."

"Ah," you breathed, suddenly understanding. Probably what he wanted was for you to get out of your apartment, perhaps intending that you wouldn't be able to resist the pout on Hyunjin's face when you were told that the coffee scene had been a misunderstanding. You could agree to the former... The latter was more complicated.

"We can order your favorite pizza, and then you can stay over," he proposed, taking the risk that such insistence would push you away, "what do you say?"

You contemplated your options. You could use Seungmin, your roommate, as an excuse, but Felix was capable of texting him to confirm your alibi, and no one could resist Felix. Deep down, you knew you were going to end up going, but for a few seconds you allowed yourself to imagine what you could say to him to get him to leave you alone. You took a breath of air, leaning against the hallway wall, and closed your eyes tightly, trying not to think about how much you could come to regret your decision.

"But you have to promise me one thing," you announced, hearing Hyunjin's celebratory whispers on the other end of the line, "we don't talk about what happened this afternoon. Not today, not ever."

Felix snorted, against the idea, considering another way to approach the conversation to get you to stop thinking about it, but since he had shared with Hyunjin the plan he had developed while Han was showing them his music, and the boy was completely lacking in any kind of censure, he couldn't stop himself from exclaiming, "Okay! But you come!"

Felix heard you mutter a farewell before hanging up, and he stared at his friend with annoyance written all over his face. He knew that, although the way he had said it had sounded suspicious, Hyunjin had done it for everyone's sake, but he couldn't help but give him a murderous glare for not letting him have his way. The boy shrugged, unfazed by his antics, and rose from the bed, arching his eyebrow in his direction, ready to have the last word:

"I hope you time it right and this goes well."

When you arrived, fifteen minutes later, wrapped in a thick coat and one of your colorful scarves, but with your pajamas underneath, the pizzas had already arrived. You saw them on the kitchen counter, filling everything with a delicious aroma of bacon and cheese, when Felix opened the door with a smile. You lifted your backpack with a condescending grimace, implying that you had brought a change of clothes and your overnight kit, agreeing to spend the night in his apartment, and he let out a chuckle that almost managed to break the imperturbable facade with which you had decided to wear.

"Hyune is choosing film" he informed you, helping you take off your coat to hang it in the closet.

You tried to ignore the sting you felt in your chest at the memory of the circumstances under which you had said goodbye to Hyunjin, and promised yourself to make it up to him somehow. He didn't deserve to deal with your feelings like that, not when it wasn't his fault that your crush was onto him. So you headed straight for the small living room, where your friend took up the entire length of the couch thanks to his height, and you threw yourself on top him gently, letting him give you a hug as he chuckled awkwardly, his lungs taking in less air than they let out thanks to the extra weight of your body on top of his.

"What do you have in mind?" you asked him, looking at the television screen, and the endless possibilities the audiovisual platform offered.

"I haven't really chosen between Alice in Wonderland and Nightmare Before Christmas" he acknowledged, following your gaze, locating the second one he had mentioned in the bottom corner.

"Mmm, which of the Alice versions are we talking about?" 

"The first one" he told you, "the live action one."

"Oh, put that one on, please" you asked, trying to adopt your best pleading face, pouting in the same way you had seen Felix do so many times. You watched as he erased what he had written on the browser and followed your instructions, while you basked in the warmth of the fabric of his hoodie against your cheek, and his arm across your back. You could have stayed there, half asleep, for the rest of the semester, for the rest of the year even, if it hadn't been for how loud the bell had been when it rang, Hyunjin straining underneath you.

"That must be Jisung" you surmised, getting up much to your dismay, "I'll go open the door."

Felix was too busy in the kitchen, hands full of brownie batter, so you walked down the hallway back to the front door, peeking through the peephole to make sure it was Han on the other side. But your breath caught as you recognized the features of the barista you'd seen just hours earlier at 5STAR. You opened your eyes wide, not knowing how to react, and peeked into the kitchen to ask Felix. To your surprise, he was already watching, confirming to you, as soon as you saw his apologetic smile, that this was all his doing.

You decided not to say a single word, and focus on calming your racing heart before facing an interaction with Chris again. The doorbell rang again, jolting you out of your self-absorption with a scare, and you hurried to unlock the door, opening it with a smile that you liked to think it was normal.

"Hello" you said to him, proud that your voice sounded more confident than you felt.

"Oh" he breathed, his surprised eyes roaming over your features, "hi." You saw him flash a beautiful smile, and raise his hand to wave at you, as if he were a little boy excited to meet a new friend. "The lovely girl from table 8."

"That's me" you replied, opening the door wider so he could come in, "thank you for inviting me to the chocolate, I don't know if the croissant was tasty or not because Hyunjin ate it, but I bet it was."

Mentioning your friend's name just to see how he reacted had been a pathetic move, but you hadn't been able to stop yourself. If you could turn back time you would have bitten your tongue, though, after watching his ears blush at your words, proving you right. You swallowed the knot in your throat when you heard his giggles, and he walked into the apartment, taking off his coat.

"I wouldn't say it's my best recipe, but thanks for the confidence" he commented to you, and you took his coat, just as Felix had done with you, to hang it in the closet. You tried not to make it too obvious the way you checked that he was still wearing his café uniform, the sleeves of the black t-shirt tracing his arms. "I'll have to let you try it on another time, then, so you can give me your opinion."

You gave him a strained smile, standing there in the middle of the hallway, and when you saw Hyunjin poke his head out the living room door to see what was going on, you indicated to Chris that Felix was in the kitchen by pointing him to the room, and seizing the opportunity when he went to greet his friend to return to Hyunjin, sitting with your back straight against the backrest, pulling your legs up until your knees were pulled up to your chest.

"You guys are a bunch of assholes" you whispered, staring at the TV screen, not really seeing anything.

"You know how Felix is" Hyunjin answered you, resting his head on your shoulder in an affectionate gesture.

"How am I going to...?"

"YN!" exclaimed Felix going to his room, "Take care of putting the brownies in the oven, please!"

"Oh, my God, I'm going to kill him" you muttered, closing your eyes tightly and dropping your head against the couch.

"Fighting" your friend said to you, giving you a sad smile and a small kiss on your cheek.

You let out a long sigh before getting up, and started to look for Felix around the part of the apartment where you thought his voice had come from, to ask him what the hell he thought he was doing. You guessed he was in the bathroom, the sound of running water audible from outside, and knocked on the door.

"Yes?"

"Lixie, you know I love you very much" you began, taking a breath to start to tell him off all the decisions he had made so far in his face.

"I know I'm not your favorite person right now, Ynnie," you heard him speak, his voice muffled by the water, so you assumed he was taking a shower, "but there was an incident with the chocolate and I stained everything. Chris is trying to fix it, but I needed to take a shower."

"How much time do I have to set the brownies for?" you asked, surrendering, your shoulders tensing at the thought. The sooner you accepted that you weren't going to get out of interacting with your crush and Hyunjin at the same time, the sooner the night would pass and the sooner you could get back to your normal life.

"I've already left the temperature on! It's only twenty minutes!" he exclaimed, "You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever" you muttered, retracing your path to the kitchen, only to find Chris rummaging through the cupboards. "What... what are you doing?"

The boy startled, jumping a little on the spot, and banging his forehead against the corner of the door, which made you choke back a scream and run to him, your hand pressing down over his in the area of the bump and you reacted with a startled "Are you okay? Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" to his whine.

"It's okay, really" he answered you, fully flushed, suddenly aware of how close you were to him.

"No, no, it's not okay at all" you affirmed, taking a couple of steps backwards looking for the fridge with your eyes, only to bend down to grab some ice cubes from the freezer and wrap them in a clean cloth, approaching him again. You grabbed his wrist gently and removed his hand from his forehead, assessing the damage before resting the wrapped ices carefully over the bump. "You sure have a terrible impression of me."

"That's not true" he whispered, cracking a small smile, avoiding your gaze out of embarrassment.

"I'm terribly sorry, really" you repeated, unable to say anything else.

"It could have happened to anyone, don't worry."

"What were you doing, anyway?" you asked, your hands still busy, one with the ice and the other one with your fingers closed around his wrist. When you noticed, you tried to direct him to take the cloth himself.

"From what Felix explained to me, he was so nervous he must have mixed something wrong, and then I don't know how he did it but he ended up with half the batter all over his shirt and arms," he explained to you, leaning on the counter, "I was trying to find chocolate to make it better. I'm not the best pastry chef, but working in the café has taught me something."

You looked over to where the bowl Felix had used was, and saw next to it the mixer you had bought him for his birthday, a few drops of mixture on the surface and more on the floor.

"It was his first time using that mixer" you assumed, trying to stifle a chuckle, "I'm sure he miscalculated the power and it blew all over."

The laughter Chris let out was music to your ears, and when you turned to look at him you realized how close you were to him. There were barely inches between you, and your legs were practically intertwined. You cleared your throat, parting slightly, and made eye contact with him, letting yourself be absorbed by his tiny brown eyes, which matched his dimples, narrowed into two crescent moons.

"There's no more chocolate, by the way" he told you, remembering why you were in that situation.

"I can go out and buy more" you solved, fully intending to go grab your wallet and leave, realizing how whipped you were for him.

"No way, it's my thing, I should go" he rebutted, massaging his forehead from time to time.

"You're hurt" you pointed out, looking for more reasonings, "you're not going to beat me if you pick a fight with me over this".

"Oh, believe me I am" he replied, leaving the ice cubes on the counter and heading for the hallway, "you do what you want but I'm going to get dessert somewhere."

"Then you're not going alone."

You left him looking for his coat in the closet as you went to tell Hyunjin what you were going to do, your friend still lying on the couch scrolling through his phone, probably on TikTok. His face was the mirror of pure surprise and disbelief, before he grinned mischievously. You rolled your eyes and turned your back on him, leaving him there and grabbing your own phone on the way, meeting Chris in front of the door. He had your coat in his hands, and helped you put it on. You then made sure you had your spare keys in your pocket and walked out of the apartment.

"Not to put you down, but... you are aware that you're in your pajamas, right?" asked Chris, his ears blushing as he realized it, slyly tracing the curves of your hips.

"Yeah, it's okay," you said, oblivious, making a nonchalant gesture, "it's not the first time I've done this."

"Where do you plan to go?" you heard him coming down the stairs behind you.

"There's a bakery a couple of blocks from here that closes pretty late, so we'll get there on time" you explained, leading him out of the building.

"So it really isn't the first time you do this" he confirmed, a soft giggle escaping his lips.

"Yeah, it's pretty fun" you said, remembering all the times you'd done it, more than once with your friends, rain or shine, "it's closer to Hyunjin's house, so we usually go from there, but yeah."

"Oh, you guys seem pretty close" he commented.

You tried not to let your wince show, not understanding why you always ended up mentioning the dancer in your conversations with Chris. The time was approaching when he would start asking you questions about Hyunjin to find out more about him, and you didn't know if you would be able to handle it.

"Yes, we have been together for a long time" you confirmed, trying to reveal as little information as possible, "he is someone very dear to me".

"Whenever I see you you're with him" he continued, his shoulder brushing next to yours, "at the café, I mean".

"He's the one in charge of ordering the chocolate for me" you confessed, changing the subject. "You make great chocolate, by the way. I couldn't tell you today, you dropped it off and left."

"You were so focused I didn't want to disturb you" he acknowledged, letting out a soft laugh.

"I guessed as much" you affirmed, noticing the streets you were passing instead of glancing sideways at him, as you were dying to do, "I also noticed the napkin."

"The nap...? Oh!"

"Yeah, oh," you repeated, your laughter awakening butterflies in his stomach, "people don't usually flirt with me like that."

"Fli- ehem, flirt?" he stammered, his face suddenly red with shyness. He hadn't expected you to be so direct with the subject.

"Well, not flirting," you corrected yourself, realizing your mistake, "but you have a lot of rizz."

"You're not the first one to tell me that" he nodded, clearing his throat, "my sister calls me Chrizztopher to mess with me."

"I like your sister, then" you acknowledged, reordering your thoughts to figure out how to phrase your question, and find out finally if you were going crazy or you were just insecure, "but... well, not that I'm complaining, but you still shouldn't waste it on me."

"Waste it? On you?" the conversation was losing all meaning to him, his brow furrowing more and more in confusion.

"Yeah, you know" you tried to explain, trying not sounding as bad as you felt, "focus it all on the person you like, instead of random girls."

"But... I'm already doing that" he protested, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk, halting your walk, "the chocolate...".

"The hot chocolate was nice of you, but I'm talking about Hyunjin."

"What the hell does Hyunjin have to do with you?" he exclaimed, incredulous.

"With me?" you asked, your heart stopping at the possibility his words were offering you. "But... the message in the coffee, wasn't it for Hyunjin?"

"What message?" you were looking into each other's eyes, for the first time without any shyness on either side, both trying to understand each other.

"The message on the coffee cup that said you thought Hyunjin was cute" you replied, shoving your hands in your coat pockets, fiddling with your phone case to calm your nerves. "The one with you phone number".

"Did I write the message on the wrong cup?" he lamented, unable to believe his bad luck.

"The wrong cup?" you repeated, unable to process what was happening.

"I've had a crush on you since you first walked into the café" he stated, deciding to tell his biggest secret just so he could make it clear what was going on.

"What?"

"I... Yeah, there's not much more to say" his nervous laugh snapped you out of your shock, blinking to look at him again, this time with a clearer mind. "There's not a thing about you I don't like."

The silence that settled between you, you running your eyes over his features, your heart pounding, him not knowing if it would be a good idea to approach you, or if you needed space at that moment, waiting with his breath caught in his throat, not knowing if his feelings were reciprocated or not. You raised one of your hands, rubbing your forehead, unsure of how to interact after his confession. You decided to clear your throat and let the words flow, after all, even if you made a fool of yourself, it couldn't get any worse.

"Me too" you paused, still hearing your heart thudding in your chest, and then continued, "I have a crush, I mean. On you, yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah" you confirmed, more at ease, moving closer to him.

Chris took the initiative and intertwined one of his hands with one of yours, looking at you softly and warmly, his smile provoking the same reactions from you as before, but now with the reassurance of knowing you weren't the only one who felt this way.

"What do you recommend from the bakery then?" he asked, taking you by the waist to continue walking beside you, both of you embracing each other.

And before you even answered you knew you would buy anything he asked for, even if you didn't like it, even if he didn't verbalize his desire to buy it. Only because you were as head over heels for him, as he was for you.

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#☆ㅤchris recs!! #about: i wanna be yours #☆ㅤ🪐 writings #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids angst #bangchan x reader #bangchan fluff #bangchan angst #i swear is not thaat angsty

[ohgodnotagainn]

girl in a coffee shop

summary → 4 times bob recommended a drink + 1 time he recommended something else.

warnings → swearing, allusions to sex, probably some typos in there, coffee shop au, everyone is like 28ish in this

length → 5.1K

pairing → robert "bob" floyd x fem reader

a/n → this is SO self indulgent, but it's turned into my favorite fic i've written thus far. i hope you all love it as much as i do. i love, adore, and appreciate feedback, but as always, be nice or be gone. if you would like to be added or removed from the taglist let me know.

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“You’d be the pretty girl in a coffee shop, sweet as candy lemon drops, with your favorite pair of Birkenstocks - that’d be you.”

You found Top Brews completely by accident - your apartment was proving to be too distracting to finish editing your last shoot and so, in a fit of frustration, you googled the closest cafe with free internet. Five minutes later, you were pulling into the parking lot with your laptop and a dream. 

The shop was rather quaint - local artwork lined the walls and a variety of couches, armchairs, and tables littered the dark wooden floors. The place was alive with people slaving away on laptops, first dates, and old friends catching up over steaming lattes. You could tell these four walls harbored a community, and you wondered how you had missed it all this time. 

Walking up to the bar you realized that the eclectic vibes weren’t what made this little shop special, it was the staff. A stunning brunette greeted you with a warm smile, and behind her you could see a blonde and a mustached man arguing over the ‘right’ way to do the dishes. 

“Hey there! I haven’t seen you around here before - my name is Nat but you can call me Phoenix. I know the menu is a bit overwhelming, so if you have any questions don’t be afraid to ask!” 

You weren’t sure how she could tell that you were overwhelmed, but you could guess it wasn’t uncommon for how extensive the chalkboard menu was. There were so many drink options you weren’t entirely sure where to start and you hadn’t thought much about what you would want in the short time it took you to slip on a pair of Birkenstocks and make the trek here. 

“This is my first time in, do you have any recommendations?”

The smile on her face grew wider as she smacked the shoulder of a slender man with glasses hidden behind the espresso machine.

“Ahh, if you want recommendations then Bob here is your man. He’s yet to steer someone wrong and makes the best concoctions you’ll ever taste.”

Bob, as Phoenix called him, seemed startled when he looked up from the pitcher he was steaming. Your heart skipped a beat when your eyes met his gentle ones, and you were intrigued by his calm demeanor despite all the hustle and bustle around him. 

“Well then, Bob was it? I guess I’ll trust your reputation - surprise me, I’m not picky.”

You were finishing up paying when you heard Bob curse loudly, “Shit!” You glanced over just in time to see hot milk pouring over the edges of the metal pitcher onto his hands as he frantically turned off the steam wand. His neck and cheeks were painted red, no doubt embarrassed by what happened. 

Words tumbled out of his mouth while he made quick work of wiping down the bar with a wet rag. “I - uh - I promise I know how to do my job, I just get so in the zone sometimes and I got distracted and Rooster is back there squawking so loud I can’t hear myself think and -”

His words and motions came to a halt as he heard you giggling, and though it may have been at his expense, he would do anything to hear it every day. 

You tried to keep a straight face, but you were still in a fit of giggles as you said, “You guys keep a Rooster back there? I’m not sure the health department would appreciate that very much.” 

At your words, the mustached man from the great dish debate whipped around with a hand to his chest and pretend indignation written on his face. “Excuse you! I’ll have you know that inspector Sharon loves me and my keen sense for knowing what needs to be clean and what needs to be dirty.” 

Everyone behind the bar groaned in annoyance as Phoenix pushed him back towards the sink, “You’ve lost your privilege of talking you absolute buffoon, go back to the dishpit and reflect on your life choices,” she looked at the clock, then turned back to you and whispered, “Believe it or not, that’s the longest he’s made it without losing his talking privileges all week.”

“But it’s only 9:30?” you questioned.

A cup of mystery appeared in front of you as Bob cut in with a playful grin, “Yeah, he’s making some big strides. Yesterday he only got to 7:05. We open at 7:00.”

You met his eyes and shook your head laughing. “Sounds like you may have been better off with an actual rooster.” You lifted the cup, eyes widening as soon as the hot beverage hit your tongue. “Holy shit, Bob.”

His eyes widened to match yours as he started to reach for the cup, “Fuck do you not like it? I’m so sorry, I can make you something else -”

“Oh, no!” You were vehemently shaking your head, “I didn’t mean it like that,” You pulled the cup out of his reach, “This is just the best coffee I’ve ever had - where have you been all my life? You have to clue me in to what you made so I can order if you aren’t here.”

His heart was fluttering at your kind remarks and the idea of you coming in here more, but he tamped down the feeling. “It’s, uh, it’s a honey vanilla latte with cinnamon steamed into the oat milk.” With rosey cheeks he looked down at the rag in his hands and continued, “It’s actually my personal favorite.”

“Well, Bob, it might just be my new personal favorite too.” You slipped a $5 bill out of your laptop case and into the tip jar. You looked back at him and raised your cup with a wink, “Thanks again!” 

Bob was stunned into silence and couldn’t help but watch you as you made yourself at home in a big armchair by the fireplace. Where had you been all of his life?

Phoenix once again startled him when she cleared her throat - he was so wrapped up in thoughts of you he forgot she was there. “Dude, what was that? I can’t even remember the last time you burned a pitcher of milk.”

Hangman joined in from the sinks, “Yeah, man, I didn’t think you were even capable of messing up - you must be down bad.”

He groaned at their prodding, “Fuck off, Jake, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He did know what Jake was talking about, but he wouldn’t admit that to the blonde - if his ego got any bigger they’d have to expand into the space next door to fit it all.

Instead, he let your words play on a loop in his head and snuck peaks at you cuddled in that armchair every chance he could. 

He hoped and prayed to every God he could think of.

Please make her a regular.

“I wonder what it’s like to be in love by you, I wondered if I’d ever be in love for you. All these doubts in my head keep me from finding you.”

You couldn’t help yourself. You had to go back to there. You told yourself it was because the coffee had ruined other places for you, but you knew it was Bob. You had stayed in the shop for hours, somehow managing to get a substantial amount of work done between sneaking glances over your screen at the man who rocked glasses better than anyone you’d ever met. Would going back the very next day be weird? Maybe it was, but you didn’t care as you packed up your laptop and laced up your shoes. 

The short journey felt like ages as your heart sped up with your wandering mind. Bob ran rampant through your brain and you found yourself unwilling to even try to stop - stuck on thoughts of him in your kitchen, crafting drinks on your Breville in the morning after a long night together. 

You shouldn’t be thinking of someone you met once in this way. You didn’t even know if he had a partner already! You groaned and let your head hit the wheel - you had to get over it.

If you embarrassed yourself there was no way you could find another comparable shop - the coffee was simply too good and the internet too fast. Why go through all that when you were almost certain he wasn’t interested in you anyways?

Shaking the thoughts from your head, you gathered every ounce of courage in your body and went inside. You could do this. 

Bob had spent his morning in a similar fashion, plagued by thoughts of you. He woke up thirty minutes earlier than usual, allowing himself extra time to get ready just in case you happened to come back.

Each time the little bell above the door rang he couldn’t help but check to see if it was you - and his heart sank a little deeper each time it wasn’t. What if you hated the coffee he made you yesterday and that’s why you didn’t come back? What would he say if you did come in the door? Would you give it to him if he asked for your number? 

Who was he kidding? Even if you were single, he didn’t stand a chance when Rooster, Coyote, Hangman, and Phoenix were there.

Ding, ding.

He didn’t bother looking up this time. 

“Bob! Hi!”

He had to be hearing things, had he officially gone crazy?

But sure enough, when he looked up he was met with your smiling face. Oh no. He had been thinking about you coming in all morning, but he wasn’t prepared for it to actually happen.. 

Say something, say something, say something..

“Oh, uh, hey!” Smooth, Bob. He hoped you didn’t see him cringe as soon as the words left his mouth. “Back again already?” Your smile faltered a bit at his words, and he caught his mistake immediately. “Not that I don’t want to see you again, because I do! I was hoping you’d come back, actually. I mean, not in a creepy way, of course.” He could feel himself rambling again, he had to bring this back before he really scared you off. “I’m sorry, let me try that again. Were you wanting the same coffee or do you want to try something new today?”

Now you were smiling wider than before - his rambling was endearing and your heart was nearly bursting at the fact that he was hoping you’d come in again. 

“Well, I was going to get the same thing, but now that you mention it - I think I want to try something new. Got another ace up your sleeve?”

He couldn’t believe you were trusting him blind again. 

A smile now graced his face too, “I think I’ve got one or two left.”

With an iced raspberry white mocha in hand and butterflies loose in your stomach, you set up camp in the same chair you had the day before. 

Back up at the counter, Jake saddled up next to Bob. 

“Two words - Down. Bad.”

“The glasses that you hardly wear .. and makeup, no you don’t really care"

Top Brews had all but become your office - now a permanent part of your daily routine. It had been two weeks since you first found the place but you couldn’t imagine life without it - the drinks were always stellar, you were friends with everyone on staff, and you were getting through work more efficiently than you ever had. 

You really only had one problem with it - Bob. You suspected that if he was available and interested he would’ve made a move by now, but you couldn’t stop your growing feelings for the quiet barista and the little hearts he always poured on the tops of your lattes. 

He made your mornings a little sweeter - often chatting with you over the red espresso machine while he whipped up your drink of the day. You rarely saw him do this with anybody else, usually too in the zone to make small talk, and you couldn’t help but feel special. He was never in too much of a rush to talk to you, and nobody else had ever made you feel so important before.

Through your chats you learned that he owned the place with Natasha, and overtime they somehow roped all of their friends from college into working there with them. Coyote overheard this and appeared out of thin air to inform you that it took major begging to get him to quit his office job and join the staff.

Bob informed you that it really only took a six pack of Dos Equis and the promise of priority aux privileges. (Coyote took a lot of pride in this, spending hours on Spotify crafting playlists for every occasion).

You also learned that, no, their parents don’t hate them, they just liked having their nicknames adorning their tags. They wanted those who came to know they were part of the squad, that they considered every single person who came through those doors a friend - regardless if they came in once or every day. 

You looked forward to these chats more than you’d like to admit.

This particular morning you were not doing well. You had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, things going awry left and right. Your phone hadn’t been fully plugged in and you woke up late. You got a scathing email from an unhappy client, who demanded they get their non-refundable deposit back from the shoot they didn’t show up to. Another client didn’t make any indication whether they liked their gallery or not, leaving you even more insecure. You ripped your last pair of contacts and had to opt for glasses - that were four years old and out of prescription - instead. To top it off, you were missing one of your most important SD cards. 

If you weren’t so superstitious, you would say that things couldn’t get any worse.

For once you were hoping to not see Bob. You didn’t feel like yourself and you were feeling rather self conscious about your appearance. 

Like everything else that morning, you weren’t so lucky. You saw him the second you entered the building and scurried to your armchair instead of the counter to order like normal. You would have to set up camp first and get your coffee once he went to the bathroom or went on break.

Twenty minutes into working and you were left more frustrated than before. Lightroom was crashing on you every five photos, you were developing a migraine from the lack of caffeine, and Bob still had not moved from his place behind the bar. You could feel his eyes on you every so often and you knew he was probably figuring out how to nicely kick you out.

You were loitering after all. 

Suddenly you felt a presence in front of you and you looked up to see Phoenix smiling down at you. 

Here it comes. 

Without a word, she produced a glass from behind her back and placed it on the little table next to you.

“You must have the wrong person, this can’t be for me - I haven’t ordered yet.” You told her, sheepishly pushing the glass away. 

“No, I’m certain this is for you,” she nodded her head in Bob’s direction, who was currently looking anywhere but at you, “Something about how he could tell you’re having a bad day and could use a pick me up. He’s insisting it be on the house and instructed all of us to refuse letting you pay, so, don’t even try. Also, you cannot tell him I told you this, but he won’t shut up about how much he likes your glasses. I think you could get away with never paying here again if you wore those everyday.”

You were shocked, your mouth agape and unable to form words. 

“Oh! I was also sent on operation pick-me-up to give you this,” she fished your SD card out of her apron pocket and handed it to you, “We found it sweeping yesterday and couldn’t tell if it was yours or not. Bob kept it in his wallet for safe keeping until we saw you today, just in case.”

You flipped the little disc around in your fingers - completely shellshocked now.

“I uh, I don’t even know what to say other than thank you, seriously. Are you sure I can’t pay? I feel bad and it’s really no trouble at all,” you said as you fished around in your laptop case for some cash. 

Shaking her head, she started to walk away from you, yelling over her shoulder, “Don’t even try!”

You could feel your migraine dissipating as you sipped on the lavender cold brew topped with a sweet cold foam. 

Bob had saved your entire day. 

You slipped a $20 bill in the tip jar when no one was looking. 

“Oh, I, could only hope that you would feel it too - if we locked eyes right here in this crowded room for just one second it’d just be us two”

A month had passed since your first visit and the tattered blue armchair by the fireplace was now your spot. Sure, it wasn’t written anywhere, but you were there for hours everyday like clockwork. It was common knowledge and the other regulars respected it as your territory, sometimes even going as far as leaving a jacket in place to make sure it was vacant upon your arrival.

You always sat there because it was the comfiest chair, you liked the warmth that came from the fireplace, and the internet connection in that specific part of the cafe was the strongest. You definitely didn’t always sit there because you had a stellar - and discreet - view of the bar.

Okay, maybe you did. 

But if you couldn’t actually be with Bob, there was no harm in looking, right? How could you resist a few peaks here and there when his hands looked that good moving expertly around the bar?

Yeah, that was going with you to the grave. 

It had been a busy morning and there was not an empty chair or table in sight. The crowd was overtaking your space and you could tell, even through your headphones, how loud it was getting. Even the internet was struggling to keep up with the traffic. 

The most recent batch of photos was in the process of exporting and with how slow it was moving, you knew it was going to be a while.

You didn’t mind much. You could allow yourself generous looks at Bob without worrying so much about being caught - everyone behind the bar too preoccupied with the rush at hand to notice - and there was no guilt around being distracted from your own workload.

Without warning, Bob’s eyes snapped up and met your gaze.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 

You had been caught red-handed, but your eyes stayed locked on his and you nodded at the freshy vacated chair next to yours in a silent invitation. The only way out of the embarrassment now was through, you had to pretend this was the plan all along.

Bob wanted nothing more than to join you in your corner, but there was a hoard of tickets still waiting to be made and Jake was scheduled to take his break first. With an exaggerated look of  disappointment on his face he held up a cup in one hand and a pitcher in the other, shrugging his shoulders as a way to politely decline your invitation. 

You nodded in understanding, but he didn’t miss the dejected look in your eyes as they dropped back to the laptop screen. 

God damnit. He was grateful that his business was flourishing, but he finally had a chance and he was barred from taking it. 

Unbeknownst to him, Rooster had seen the entire exchange. 

“Hey man, I got bar so you can take your break,” he stated, leaving little room for argument.

“Oh, uh, I actually think Hangman is supposed to break first today,” Bob responded, eyes downcast and sadness laced in his tone.

Jake was quick to interject, “Yeah! I’m starving and I opened so if anyone is going on break its -” 

He was cut off by Bradley’s elbow making sharp contact with his gut.

“Nope! It’s Bob. Here’s a slice of banana bread big enough for two, do with it what you will.” Bradley winked, shoving a plate in Bob’s hands and shooing him away from the counter

Hangman grumbled, still doubled over and cradling his stomach, “We really need an HR department.”

Bob ignored him as he untied his apron and grabbed two forks, making his way over to the fireplace before he could talk himself out of it. 

You thought nothing of it when you felt a presence in the chair beside you - it had been occupied for almost the entire morning - but you were confused when a plastic fork suddenly appeared in front of your eyes.

“Not sure if I can finish this piece of banana bread on my own, interested in sharing?” Bob asked you with a blush on his cheeks. 

You grabbed the fork out his hand and clinked it against his, “I would love nothing more.” You took a big bite and your eyes got large, “I need this recipe, I need it more than I’ve needed anything else in the history of needing things.”

Bob let out a chuckle, “I wish I could give it to you, but unfortunately Rooster has it under lock and key. Believe me when I say we’ve tried to get it from him since freshman year, but It’s his mom’s old recipe that they used to make together before she died.”

You were silent for a moment.

“That’s actually really sweet. Does he do a lot in the kitchen then?” you asked softly.

Laughing, Bob answered, “Oh absolutely not, he’s a master baker but I wouldn’t trust him to make a box of mac n’ cheese. A truly horrid cook.” You laughed this time, and he continued, “He was actually the first one to join the team here, his only request was that he wanted to bake. He says it’s to keep the memory of his parents alive, but truthfully I think it’s when he feels closest to them.”

You hummed in understanding and took another bite, “Well, here’s to Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw then.”

Bob took another bite before raising his fork, “Here, here!”

The conversation stood still for a moment before you turned to Bob with a serious look on your face, “Rooster, Phoenix, Fanboy, Payback, Hangman, Coyote - everyone else has silly nicknames. How come you don’t have one?”

“Bob actually is a nickname, even though it’s a derivative of my real name. I used to go by Robby, but when I was sharing a dorm with Hangman our freshman year he would always use Bob’s Burgers to fall asleep.” 

“That’s absurd! Everyone knows that American Dad is the superior adult cartoon for sleeping purposes!” you quipped.

“That’s what I always said!” Bob agreed before continuing, “Anyways, the opening jingle started to really drive me crazy but I never said anything about it until one fated day when he put it on while we were all hanging out. I heard one note and went ballistic - we got in the biggest fight we’ve ever had and it ended with him saying that I was ‘jealous that I was the inferior Bob.’ The name just stuck after that,” He ended with a shrug. 

You had a hand over your mouth, but you couldn’t stop yourself. You started laughing, and before he knew what was happening, Bob was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes and his stomach was burning.

Wiping away stray tears, he looked down at his watch and a deep frown overtook his features.

“Are you okay?” You asked, suddenly worried that you had offended him by laughing so hard.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m good. I’m just bummed that my break is almost over, none of those fools,” he pointed to the bar, “keep as good of company as you do.” 

You watched as Rooster and Hangman thumb wrestled, Fanboy and Payback standing to the side, acting as referees, “I don’t know, that looks like a pretty intense match.” Bob just laughed again and shook his head. 

“I enjoyed this too, you know. You should join me on your breaks more often, Robby.” 

“I look forward to it,” he said earnestly, leaving you to enjoy your iced strawberry matcha with a new stampede of elephants taking residence in your stomach. 

“I’m just another boy in a coffee shop, dreaming of a love that’s not .. I’m just dreaming of a girl in a coffee shop”

Another month had come and gone, and Bob didn’t let a day go by without sitting with you on his break. If he sometimes took 25 minutes instead of 15, well, nobody said anything about it. Everyone loved you, and everyone loved how happy you seemed to make Bob. 

Everyone was, however, frustrated beyond belief that neither of you had made a move yet. 

Phoenix was the first to crack, and it was under her supervision that operation intervention staff meeting (everyone thought the name Rooster pitched was stupid, but nobody could come up with something better) was born. 

When Bob arrived at her house, ready to handle all the usual housekeeping, he was surprised to find that everyone was already there and sitting in a circle - he always the first to arrive.

“Bob, dear boy. Come in and sit with us.” Rooster said, trying to act normal yet failing miserably. 

The weird tension in the room was palpable, and Bob was unsure what to do other than oblige, “What’s going on?” he asked, before finding a place to sit between Fanboy and Phoenix.

“We’ve decided, dear boy, that you finally grow a spine and ask her out,” Rooster replied, crossing his arms.

“First of all, stop calling me ‘dear boy’ - it’s really weird. Second of all, ask who out? I don’t know what you guys are on about.” Bob coolly responded. 

Suddenly a hoard of pillows was thrown his way and everyone wore the same displeased look on their faces. They were obviously talking about you, and they knew that Bob knew they were talking about you.

“Okay, okay. Fine. I get it. I can’t ask her out though! I love talking to her everyday, she’s one of my best friends at this point. It would make things weird,” he continued.

Hangman groaned, responding before anyone else could, “You really think that would make it weird? Really? After two months of weird sexual tension that everyone but the two of you can see?”

Now he was on the receiving end of the swarm of throw pillows as a chorus of “not the time” “really Hangman?” and “you’re disgusting” rang out.

Payback, who had been quietly observing up until this point, decided it was time to step in. “Listen, man. If you really don’t want to ask her out, none of us are going to make you do it.” Phoenix looked like she was about to object but he shot her a look, “None of us are going to make you do it.” 

Bob looked relieved for a moment, but Payback wasn’t finished yet, “However, I think you’re doing yourself, and her, a huge injustice if you don’t. She looks at you like you hung the stars, and you look at her like she hung the moon. We won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, but don’t you want to find out how much sweeter life can be if you stopped selling yourself short?”

 “I don’t know how, and I’m scared.” Bob said quietly.

Everyone seemed to sober at his words, and Phoenix pulled him into a tight hug on the couch. She took hold of his hands and looked him in the eyes, “Then we’ll help you figure it out, and we’ll be there with you every step of the way. You deserve this, Bob, don’t let her pass you by only wondering what could’ve been.”

So, they all spent the rest of the night coming up with a plan - eventually falling asleep sprawled around Phoenix’s living room.

•••••

Everything seemed normal when you arrived at Top Brews, albeit there did seem to be a fair fewer cars in the parking lot. You didn’t think much of it, though, Tuesday’s were generally a pretty slow day at the shop. 

It wasn’t until you walked up to the door and noticed the sign that said your name and to not enter unless it was you that you realized this was not going to be an average Tuesday morning. 

Once inside, you followed a trail of meticulously placed coffee beans to your usual corner, where Bob sat nervously with a coffee mug in one hand and a bouquet of daisies in the other. You could barely hear Billy Joel over the blood rushing to your head, suddenly feeling a wave of nerves and anticipation crash into you.

You had a million questions, but settled on a familiar one instead, “What’s in the cup today, Robby?”

“It’s, uh, it’s a honey vanilla latte with cinnamon steamed into the oat milk. I’m not sure if you remember this or not, but I made it for you the first time you came in,” he stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that day. I’ve tested a thousand different recipes - not all winners, by the way - to make sure I can always make you something new. I used to hate taking breaks, but since I started sitting with you they are the highlight of my day. I never realized how much I missed being called Robby until you said it. I really don’t want to mess this up with you, you make my life sweeter in every way without even realizing it. If this is weird, and I’m misreading things, feel free to walk out that door and pretend this never happened but I am begging you, if that’s the case, please don’t stop coming -”

He was cut off by your lips making contact with his.

Pulling back, you allowed your eyes to meet his, “I remember every drink you’ve ever made me, I keep them saved to a list on my phone. I came back to this shop because of you. Watching you make drinks and sing whatever song is playing under your breath because you think nobody is looking has become my favorite pastime. I can’t even use my own Breville anymore because all I can think about is you using it instead. You’ve overtaken every inch of my brain and you’ve made the most bitter days sweet again. I could never stop coming through that door because I know you’re on the other side of it. This is by far the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me, and I love it.”

You connected your lips to his again when a sudden roar of cheers and clapping filled the space. 

Bob pulled away this time - laughing softly at your startled expression whilst the others poured out of the kitchen.

“Oh, yeah, I had a little help.”

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

taglist:

@fogle97 @wkndwlff @rockbottomphilosophies-blog @abaker74 @starlightstories @aviatorobsessed @accioprocrastination @shanimallina87 @roostette @cassiemitchellrecs @waklman @cherrycola27 @nuvoleincielo @roosterbruiser @mayhemmanaged @genius2050 @dempy @dakotakazansky

#robert floyd fic #robert bob floyd x reader #robert floyd x reader #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd #robert bob floyd fluff #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #tgm #dagger squad #natasha phoenix trace #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #mickey fanboy garcia #rueben payback fitch #Spotify

[savebylou]

Appreciation post of Louis in LATAM.

A while back did a post about Louis going to see fans after the shows. I want to do a similar thing but about Louis in LATAM.

For me what Louis did in LATAM was a huge deal. Going to 3 different countries and plan so many interviews, to see as many fans as possible is not something common that international artists do in LATAM (for what I had seen).

Even this journalist & Louis talks about it how this kind of promo is inusual (transcript here):

What Louis did is not that usual as it used to be in the music industry. Maybe because times had change and the promo of music is different now, the budget is different etc.

Louis had said over a few interviews how he thought for a while to come to LATAM to thank the support and see the fans. Yes he is also promoting the tour but he could easily choose to just do the shows and that is it, but he pick the difficult option.

I mean difficult option because there is a lot that Louis has to do in order to make the interviews happened and see the fans. I will first talk about the interview aspect and then the fan aspect.

For the interviews he is doing between 6 to 10 interviews aprox. for each country, between 10 to 30 min each, is a full day of press. Even if he could feel tired of traveling, etc., he still managed to bring his best energy, he was so sweet and attentive with the journalists, doesn't matter if the questions were repetitive he always tried to answer the best he can and be present, show that he cares and he acknowledge the love he has for the fans in that specific country. The journalists have said only positive things about their experiences interviewing Louis.

Is a lot of work he had put on those interviews and is not easy, not to mention the few interviews that are live stream where he had to be so ready to answer because everyone was watching him.

During the interviews he asked for recommendations so he can learn more about the culture of each country, he also tried to learn a few words in Portuguese so he can say different things to fans in the shows in Brasil, he also spoke in Spanish and Guaraní.

We got so many interviews and even a few answer we already knew we also got new content of Louis' thought process in music & other topics. I find it fascinating learning more things about his perspective as an artist an as a person in general.

Now for the fans aspect, besides the press day on the same day he took time out of his day to do meet & greets with fans and also took pictures with fans outside of the radio stations and hotels. Even if Louis loves the fans, it also takes a lot of effort mentally and emotionally to to show love and smile to fans, to be kind, attentive even if is for just a second, because this moments will live in the memory of fans forever.

There is a lot of: travel, social interactions, people wanting his attention, fans yelling his name, asking for an autograph, wanted to touch him or be close to him, show him phones so he takes a picture, everyone filming every move he takes. It's a lot of love but also a lot of chaos and it can be overwhelming specially after a break when he was living his normal life. But even it's a lot to take in, Louis did the extra effort so fans felt seen and special.

I try to remind myself this, because I often see the fans interactions and feel happy that he is seeing so much support but I put in the back of my mind the effort that Louis needs to do personally to be in that mental space to give the best of him.

I'm thankful for Louis and his kind heart that wanted to show love for LATAM, makes me cry everytime I think about it. He comes from another place around the world where is totally different how the fans are and he still loves and appreciates the passion and excitement from fans of LATAM countries.

I also very thankful that the fans welcome Louis with so much love and excitement, making Louis feel special and make him notice how much support he has around the world. It makes me so happy that he is appreciating this moment without a show, realising that people want to see him, that he is noticing again of how meaningful his music is and the impact he has in so many lives.

I'm so glad Louis came to Brasil, Chile and Argentina. I hope he does similar things in other countries in the future.

What Louis did is not something we see often, there are not a lot of artists that go above and beyond to make fans feel special, he made a huge effort and he always try to see as many fans as possible in different countries. He is an amazing artist but also a very kind human that understand how meaningful this actions are to fans, we are very lucky to have an artist like Louis.

#this is too long so i don't expect anyone to read it but i still want it in my blog #thoughts about louis #louis loves latam #louis in brasil #louis in chile #louis in argentina #i love louis and his kind heart #louis tomlinson #essay ramblings #i wanted to make it shorter and better but i had this for days and i just can't find a way to change it #long post #louis interviews #mtv argentina

[bigdealsgoddog]

Lookism guys trying to impress their s/o

Notes: gender neutral reader! This is just my hcs about how some of the lookism guys would try to impress their s/o(Jake kim, Samuel seo, vasco, Daniel)

Jake kim (kim gi myung)

Probably the least likely to feel the need to impress his s/o

Like he’ll absolutely do it if he knows it’ll get a certain reaction out of you but he’s pretty confident in himself

Maybe there’s a special hole in the wall place that he found or maybe he’ll take you to one of the places on big deal to be like “yeah I know this area really well, the people love me here and it’s amazing food”

He’d probably try to hide that he’s the leader of big deal for a while unless that’s how you end up meeting him/finding out about him

He’s more likely to try to impress you with things he found rather than material items and spending money. As is big deal doesn’t have a lot of money but he’s also not the type to just throw money around like that. Plus doing that attracts all the wrong people in his eyes.

Samuel seo (seo seongeun)

This man and his inferiority complex? You know DAMN WELL he’s gonna be dropping so much money on you to impress you

Fancy dinner dates, expensive liqour, his fancy car all the way back to his fancy apartment

See I feel like he wouldn’t like a gold digger as much as he wants to impress you with money I think he’s more likely to fall for someone who doesn’t give a shit about his social standing. Or who he even is for that matter

It’s the inferiority complex kicking in, he feels like he needs to get what’s not his, someone that doesn’t want him until he proves that he is the best option for them

So he’s gonna be a little disappointed when his attempt at impressing you doesn’t actually work out

He’d end up trying to impress you by finding out about a certain food/item that’s been discontinued and absolutely hunting that thing down and getting it for you. You’d be more impressed that he remembered that random niche thing about you but it’s honestly a little touching how hard he worked to find it for you

Please praise him that’s all he really wants

Vasco (Euntae lee)

He’d have all of burn knuckles memorize a performance or something like that, panicking because “he really needs to do this for s/o, everything is on the line”

It was like your fifth date and he heard something from vin jin that if you’re not spoiling your partner and showing them every moment why you were the best option then they might as well leave and poor guy took it to heart so now all of burn knuckles is getting ready to surprise you for what you thought was going to be a coffee date with vasco

Honestly suddenly being surrounded by all of burn knuckles while you were taking a walk in the park as they tried to do what looked to be interpretive dance? You honestly weren’t sure it was a little overwhelming

Actually a lot overwhelming

Jace thankfully was able to save the day rushing in and escorting the burn knuckles while vasco panics asking you what’s wrong and if there was something wrong with the surprise

You calmed him down and let him well the thought was nice but you didn’t really know why he went through all that trouble? He ended up explaining it all and you kinda just gave him that ‘Aw you poor thing’ look

“It’s ok vasco you don’t need to impress me just to keep me around” “i don’t?” It’s like a weight lifted off his shoulders

You also didn’t want to admit that when he works out seeing his muscles impresses you enough

Daniel park(hyeong seok)

I think he’s also one of the types to not want to try to impress his s/o?

Not to say that he’s super confident or anything but he knows how differently he was treated on surface level appearance alone so I think he would’ve probably fallen for an s/o who wouldn’t be all about impressions alone?

Like somebody he doesn’t feel like he needs to impress or act a certain way with but he’ll still try, he ends up asking Jay and joy what to get you, things he could do to impress you

He’s pleasantly surprised when you’re more impressed how he remembers your drink order at the nearby cafe and when he brings you your favorite pastry from the patisserie down the street

He ends up getting you some new clothes on occasion, like if he notices a specific hoodie or shirt you’d wear a lot he’ll try to get you clothes in similar brands/styles. And so long as you like it he’d get you a size up too because he noticed how much you like how big his clothes are on you

#lookism #lookism hc #lookism fluff hc #x reader hcs #Daniel park #Jake kim #Samuel seo #vasco #lookism Daniel #lookism Jake kim #lookism Samuel seo #lookism vasco

[twirlybumblevee]

Pointers on how to respond to a victim trusting you with their story

After everything that's happened over the past week, I figured I'd offer something constructive and share some of the things I learned while I prepared for and then volunteered as a first responder / consultant for victims of all kind (not just sexual) for a few years. Just in case someone else here might ever be in that sort of situation, since it can be quite overwhelming.

While I do believe that what I'm writing down is quite helpful (at least from my own experience), this isn't the "full whole truth" that applies on every single situation, because - and that's sort of also my first point:

Every situation is different. No two stories are exactly the same, so never try and apply one case to another. Everyone deserves to be heard for themselves.

If anyone comes to you with their story (and I'm not exculding non-sexual violence or other traumatic events here), see it as a huge sign of trust. In the overwhelming amount of cases, to speak up about something traumatic that has happened to someone is incredibly hard and difficult, and if they open up to you, try and treat it and them with care and consideration. (It can get very overwhelming depending on the story, so remember to take care of yourself too.)

Your job is to offer understanding, empathy, and a safe space for the other person to talk about whatever they're ready to talk about, in their own words. Remember: It's not about you, it's about them. That means no pushing for details out of curiosity, no leading questions (an example for this would be "how did you feel?" instead of "did you feel scared/disgusted/uncomfortable/etc?"), and no telling them what they should do.

The thing you can do is to offer (because if they came to you, chances are they might be looking for help - or only an open ear). Depending on the situation (and also country, let's be real), that can mean a whole lot of things, small and big. Offer to be there to listen if they need it. Offer to take them to the hospital. Offer them distractions. Offer them sympathy and understanding. Even resources, if you're in place to offer them, for example a place to stay for the night. Offer them your help in finding professional help (because remember: you are not a professional. You can and should never replace the work of a legal consultant, therapist, doctor or the like.)

Again remember: Take care of your own mental health. You can only help so far. And if you (and them) turn anywhere, your first stop should always be a professional - not the internet.

In an ideal case, you will be able to get outside help. It might take a long time, for many of the reasons mentioned above, and more. Being ready to talk to you doesn't mean they're ready to talk to a therapist, or go to the police, or any of the sort, even in apparently very clear cut cases. Even if something happened years ago though, it can be worth getting active. It's definitely NEVER too late to get psychological help.

Some countries have initiatives that offer financial compensation to victims (because it is your government's duty to protect you from harm, and if they couldn't do that, they will at least compensate you - that's the idea). That can mean a number of things like paying for (mental and physical) therapy, operations, special aids for your home, and so on. People might not want to take advantage of these, because it can be a draining and mentally taxing process to apply for them. (Because of course, as the real world works, there will be a lot of questions about the hows and whys and whats.) It is good to know that these options might exist though. (This particular bit is heavily drawing reference from Germany, where I know for a fact that this government initiative exists. Pretty much any country has initiatives that offer professional help in all kinds of ways, especially for female victims.)

This is what I can think of right now. If I think of more, I might add on to this, but it's long enough as it is. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask! I hope this is a little helpful to at least some people here. :)

-- Vee

#public service announcement

[f4nrir]

Selcouth Chapter 2

steven grant x male reader

note: this is a little longer than chapter one and there are mentions of slight touching/romantic tensions. nothing extreme, mostly fluff and deep tension. I did my best to pace this story. also, special thanks to @xenizo for editing!

Summary: You eat together at the cafe, getting to know one another more. Attending classes together and getting tutored every day makes tensions grow further. word count: 2.9k Chapter 3

During the walk to the cafe, Steven asked you questions about your recent move to London. Him showing interest in you and your life meant a lot to you. “You said you’re new here right? Did you just move to London?” he asked, turning to you with a slight tilt of his head. You found it cute, like he was a little puppy that was curious about this new person in front of him. Although, you felt quite strange around him, a feeling you’ve never felt before. You’ve had friendships here and there, even if it didn’t last long but this spark between the both of you was unfamiliar yet comforting. It felt amazing. Selcouth.

“Yes I did, guessing by my accent you could probably already tell” you laughed nervously, continuing to follow him. 

“If I may ask, why did you move here?” he asked and gently pulled you closer to him by the sleeve since there were a lot of people coming towards the both of you and it was easy to get lost. You appreciated the gentle gesture. He may be shy and timid, but he was also kind and thoughtful. It made you want to get to know him more. 

“No worries, no one’s ever really asked before, but I used to live with my parents back in the States. They were.. interesting.. people, I couldn’t really live my life without them getting on me for everything. Just got fed up because I didn’t wanna follow in their footsteps and join the military. So I decided to fly to a different country and start fresh, without either of them to bother me,” you felt a familiar burning sensation forming at the back of your throat as you relived the memories you have been through growing up. Remembering that it was easy to leave home because you never had connections and it didn’t hurt to leave. That was because there was no one back home worth staying for. 

Steven noticed your demeanor change and sighed softly, nodding his head in response as you told your story. He could relate in some ways as his upbringing also made him alone. Marc broke the news a few years ago about how Steven came to be and it’s a feeling Steven could never forget. Realizing what he was made to do but it made the two of them closer than ever, along with Jake too of course. The only person the three worth staying for was Marc’s father, who treated him quite well growing up in an attempt to cheer him up and love him as he is even after the incident. It seemed as if he was the only person who understood that it was an accident. 

“Steven? You alright?” you asked and Steven looked over at you and realized he had zoned out. You two were almost at the cafe and he replied, “Yeah of course! I apologize, I was just thinking about how I sort of relate to how you’re feeling as well.”

You smiled and you looked up to see you arrived at the cafe. Being the gentleman that you are, you opened the door for Steven and did a little sarcastic bow and he laughed and it sent butterflies to your stomach. Oh how beautiful it was to hear that. The two of you got seated down and you looked down at the menu, seeing just how many options there were, it overwhelmed you a bit. You can see why Steven comes here. 

“As I was saying earlier, I understand. When I first moved to London it was nerve wracking. But I promise you, it gets easier..” he said that last part under his breath and you looked up at him just in time to see him smile at you. You smiled back, feeling butterflies erupt from your stomach once again.  

“Thank you, Steven. It means a lot. I was really nervous to start new in an entirely different place and I thought it would be hard to find new friends but here you are. We were at the right place at the right time,” you gave him an appreciative smile, “I feel less alone now because of you,” it felt cheesy to say that, it sounded like something you’d hear in a romance movie.

‘I like him,’ Marc said and Steven saw Marc’s reflection on the glass table, he felt at peace with the fact that Marc likes you too. It was nice knowing Marc liked you too.

“Of course, you don’t need to thank me. I’d like to thank you too though for giving me the opportunity to.. have a companion. But you’re not just that— you’re also a friend, or an acquaintance, or- uh, I don’t want to assume,” he stammered awkwardly and it made you chuckle softly. ‘What a dork,’ you thought to yourself, ‘a cute dork.’

“Yes we’re friends, Steven,” you said with a reassuring smile and a playful tone. The waiter approached your table and asked if you would like anything to drink.

“I’m not sure- uh… water, I guess?”

“I’ll have a water as well,” you answer as well.

“Alright then, 2 waters. Would you like ice in either of those?”

You both say, “yes,” at the same time, and you look over at Steven to find he’s already looking at you too with a smile. The coordination was a bit surprising.

“And are you ready to order now or would you like a moment to think it over?”

You both answered, “yes,” in unison again. Steven tilts his head down in embarrassment. This time, you were already looking at him, amused. 

After you both ordered your food, you handed the menus back to the waiter.

The waiter returned after a few minutes with your drinks. After unwrapping your straw, you played with the wrapper, leaving it on the end of the straw and putting it up to your lips, aiming at Steven. You blew and it shot at him, hitting him in the chest. You erupted with laughter at your mischief, the dumbfounded look on his face was just so funny. He let out a small chuckle and looked back down to continue working on something. You looked down as well to see what he was doing. After a moment, you realized he was making an origami star.

Once he finished folding it up, he handed it to you, telling you he made it for you. It was beautiful, for being made from a straw wrapper. You were impressed with how he made it so quickly and effortless. You took out your wallet, placing it inside one of the folds so you could see it every time you took it out. Steven watched you do this and blushed, seeing Marc appear on the glass once again with a huge smile on his face. It made him happy to see Steven happy. 

After some time, your food arrived. While eating, the two of you continued to engage in conversations about ancient egypt, your military parents, and your similarity in music taste. Something you found incredibly attractive about him was how he’d describe a certain topic to you with such passion. Even though you hadn’t known each other for long, you quite liked being around Steven. It gave you a sense of comfort that you had never experienced before, even with your past friendships. 

Steven glanced down at his watch and his eyes widened, “Oh bollocks, lecture starts in 15!” he exclaimed and hastily finished his meal and as did you. He paid for your meal even though you insisted but he didn’t give you much of a choice, being that if you were to argue, you’d both be late. The both of you ran back to campus, laughing out loud in synchrony from nervousness but also adrenaline from being almost late. You didn’t mind much though, you were with Steven and he didn’t seem to mind either. 

You made it to the lecture just in time and sat next to each other. You once again pulled out your pens and notebook from your bag. 

As the lecture goes on, less and less notes were being written on your paper. It was starting to get difficult to understand what the teacher was saying. You spoke English just fine and understood it well too, but the content of course was so complex. Steven, your lack of notes and obvious confusion and moved closer to you to see if he could help. He wrote simplified definitions on your paper and whispered explanations to help you make sense of it all. You could feel Steven’s thigh touching yours, he had scooted so close to you. You let out a small sigh, feeling those butterflies in your chest once again and a warm feeling pooling in your stomach. 

You tried your best to pay attention but you were engulfed by Steven’s scent and his whispering in your ear made it too distracting for you. Not in a bad way though, it couldn’t ever be bad. You just nodded your head, pretending you knew what he was saying and what Professor Monroe was talking about as well. 

After an hour, class was over and you looked at your paper and stared down at Steven’s handwriting, it was neat and readable. You looked at your own and frowned, not even remembering what you had written, you couldn’t make out the words. 

“I hope you didn’t mind me writing in your notebook, I figured I’d help you out. I could tutor you too if you’re willing to give it a shot.. no need to pay me back either,” he reassured you. You were quite embarrassed about needing help with a subject that should be easy for you. You wanted to accept it but you felt the need to give him something in return for his time and patience.

“That would be great Steven.. But, I’d like to pay for your meals or make some for you if you’d like in return. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness,” you explained and he smiled at you once again. You couldn’t help but think about how charming he is.

“Oh don’t even worry about it, you aren’t in the slightest. I.. I just want to help out and it’s something I can assist with, or something I’ll at least try my best to assist with,” he replied nervously, “We can meet somewhere between five and six tonight if you’d like. I have things to do after our lectures so I’ll let you know when I’m done.”

You took out a gum wrapper you had in your pocket and took your pen, writing down your number on it. You handed it to Steven and he smiled from ear to ear, folding it up and safely putting it in his pocket. 

“I’ll phone you, yeah?” he said with a bit of confidence in his voice and you nodded, doing your best to contain your excitement. 

After classes, Steven made his way back to his flat. Standing in front of the door, he unlocked it and made his way inside. He sat down to take off his shoes and Marc had appeared in the mirror in front of him. 

“Steven, are you alright?”, Marc asked, concerned. It’s not that he thought there was something wrong, there was just an odd feeling that he could feel coming from Steven and he had taken note of it. He’s sure that Jake has too but he pays no attention to it. 

Steven looked up at the reflection and nodded, “yeah, mate. Why do you ask?” he questioned as he fumbled with his shoelaces until he finally got his shoes off. He paused and sighed, “alright, maybe there is something on my mind..” 

“And that is?” Marc inquired, realizing that this interaction had been the kindest one Steven has ever had. His coworkers at the museum hadn’t been the kindest and would boss him around, it was clear they didn’t respect him. This bothered him, he wished he could do something about that but this job was the only thing that could get them by during these tough times. 

“[Y/N] is so nice to me.. I’m just wondering why he is. I don’t understand, Marc, it’s quite terrifying. What if he finds out about.. Us? I’ll have to tell him some day, it’s hard to always be fronting and I’m exhausted," Steven expressed, exhausted and leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes. 

“I understand.. We should probably wait before saying anything, just in case. Perhaps let's get to know him better first,” Marc suggested. Steven mumbled incoherently in response and the other realized he had fallen asleep. Marc took this opportunity and took control of the body, letting Steven rest before his shift at the museum. 

[Time skip]

Months passed by, you and Steven had grown closer and closer over the time that had passed. You two were Inseparable, you were always seen together both on and off of campus unless either of you had work. You found comfort and security in one another and felt confident enough to say that you were each other’s best friend. However, there was a fine line between being best friends and being more. Both of you understood the difference, but the line blurred more and more with each passing day. Deep down you felt something for him but didn’t want to ruin the friendship that you two had and held so dear, and Steven didn’t either. The feeling was driving him insane, as the tension grew between you two, he couldn’t help but think about you. No one else, just you. Even though the both of you have made friends, giving each other the confidence to make more relations, the bond the both of you had could never be replaced.

It was 5 PM and you climbed the stairs to the library, making your way to the same section that you and Steven have been meeting at for the past 6 months. The both of you had spent hours studying, reading about ancient egypt, and talking about anything that came to mind. 

As you made your way to the table, you saw that Steven was already there. He gave you a quick wave and another one of his charming smiles, “hello!” he beamed, excitement in his voice. You found it adorable and gave him a smile as well, sitting down next to him. 

“How are you doing today?” he asked as he got out the books needed for today’s study session while you searched through your bag for your notes.

“I’m alright, handsome, just tired of our work for Monroe,” you teased, “how about you?”

His face flushed red and he stammered, “I.. I’m alright! Uh, I… yeah so Monroe’s work! I’ll teach you real quick,” quickly mumbling the last part. His flustered reaction caused a soft laugh to arise out of you.

You listened to Steven as he taught you about context clues and summarized the chapter, breaking down the story into parts that would help you understand better. Instead of paying attention to the paper and the notes being written on it, you caught yourself staring at him as he spoke. You took this time to admire his face, studying his features and every wrinkle and line. You couldn’t help but stare at his lips, captivated by how he enunciated each word. You listened to his gentle voice, and wow, that accent of his made everything flow so smoothly. You realized you were truly falling for him, you have been all this time.

“Hello..? Earth to [Y/N]?” Steven waved his hand in front of your face, looking at you with a gentle, soft smile. 

You blinked a few times and readjusted your posture, nodding your head, “yeah! Sorry, I was just thinking..” you admitted and he let out a tiny laugh under his breath, pushing aside your books.

“Thinking about what?” he asked, turning his body slightly to face you. At this point, his face was inches away from yours and you were leaning against each other’s shoulders. A rush of excitement and anxiety made its way in your stomach, butterflies fluttering in your chest as he did this. Did he not realize how close you both were? You looked at his expression, he seemed more concerned than anything. Did he not feel the same way? You wanted to make a move so badly, you just wanted to take the risk and kiss him right here, right now. You had fallen in love with Steven, and you didn’t want to ruin what you had just in case he didn’t feel the same after all these months of spending time with one another. 

Your nerves got the best of you and you moved away, not too far to the point he felt you were rejecting him but just enough to not let yourself get tempted. You saw the frown on his face, his eyes telling you that it hurt him slightly. “It’s nothing, there is just a lot going on with this chapter”, and he moved back to his original spot, continuing to talk about the book. 

You could feel a shift in the atmosphere and it was awkward, you dreaded this feeling and hated the way Steven felt stiff. Things didn’t feel like they usually did.

Sighing, you took this opportunity to pay closer attention to his words and attempt to understand the material.

#— zeppelin’s files 📁 #male reader #moon knight x reader #steven grant x male reader #marc spector x male reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #marc spector x m!reader #steven grant x m!reader #moonknight x m!reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marc spector #steven grant #jake lockley #fluff #tensions #romance #mlm

[goatmati]

The most intimate side of Aitana Bonmatí, a normal girl at the top of football.

The immensity of her figure is overwhelming. Her name runs like wildfire, echoes through the pitch and lingers in those who have seen her play. Aitana Bonmatí (Sant Pere de Ribes, 1998) is a special player. Exceptional. Extraordinary. Her care for the ball, her respect for the game and her love for football have catapulted her to the top. The world around her is gigantic, even though it becomes smaller and smaller as she conquers new goals. This Monday, in Paris, she will become the new queen of football. However, while everything around her accelerates and becomes a maelstrom of recognition and trophies, she is still the normal girl who comes back from training every day and meets her friends for a match in Plaça Marcer. The world around her has changed, but she remains the same.

"She's a very close friend, someone you can really trust. Maybe it doesn’t seem like it, but when she opens up, she opens up a lot. She keeps very much to herself," says Xavier Rovira, one of her lifelong friends. They met when they were five years old at the town's esplai GER, where they had activities every weekend, in addition to the camps and the camps in summer. Despite being a year younger, since they met they always went as a group and did everything together. Despite going to different schools (she to l'Escola del Pi, the others to l'Escola de la Riera de Ribes), she spent most of the time with them. "Apart from the esplai, we lived in the center during the week, which is in Ribes where there is a bar, a mall and a theater. We took music classes, where we both played guitar. We spent a lot of time there, as our parents would go for a drink together while we played football in the street," he adds.

With a ball at her feet. This is how she has been remembered since she was a child. While her life has been transforming as she goes through stages of football, what surrounded her outside the playing fields remains intact. Her environment has become her pillar, and Ribes has become her place of calm. An oasis where, after the hustle and bustle of training sessions, photoshoots, meetings and commitments, she can once again take refuge. Where she is Aitana, just another girl from the village.

"She could have taken, for example, the decision, simply for convenience, to move to Barcelona or closer to where she trains and works. But she has stayed in Ribes because it is where she has her people. It is where she has lived all her life and it gives her a certain tranquility. It's a way of disconnecting from the strident world of football and not being in the spotlight all day. If you're in Barcelona, you don't get out of the football ecosystem much either. She prioritizes her family and friends, who are the ones in Ribes," says Xavi. Aitana keeps the structure of her whole life intact. The foundations are the same as when she was a 15-year-old girl going to high school with her friends.

Ribes, her place.

Aitana is a girl of habits. Every day she goes to the village bakery to buy bread and her lemon cake, she shops in the small stores and every evening she meets her friends in the Plaça Marcer. Everyone knows what Aitana is going to order, there are few options and she has a predilection for matcha, to which she has also hooked Xavi: "We meet to make matcha. At her house, at the bar, when we meet to watch football...Always matcha. All the time, but especially in the afternoon, around five or six o'clock, which is when we meet. She doesn't drink wine or sugary drinks, she normally drinks water, but if one day she wants to drink something it has to be sweet or fruity wine. It's the only one she likes. But she doesn't love it either," says Xavi, who admits that they don't go out partying much. "We went out recently. And it was the first time I went out with her to a disco since she became a professional player," he confesses with a laugh.

When she leaves the Ciutat Esportiva and gets in the car, Aitana switches off. She almost always plays Catalan music. Txarango, The Tyets... Although from time to time reggaeton sneaks in. She takes advantage of the journey home, which takes about half an hour, to answer Whatsapp using the handsfree phone. "She answers at the moment and they are non-stop conversations. If I look at WhatsApp with her right now, I have three weeks where we talk every day. Yes it's true that she must have lots and lots of messages, and obviously in general she will take longer to respond. But for her circle, she's always there. She sends a lot of voice notes, not very long either. It mostly depends on the topic. We have had times of deeper conversations, then yes they are audios of a minute or two. But not on a day-to-day basis," says Xavi as he reviews their chat.

Voice notes and matchas.

Although message conversations are constant, they prefer to see each other whenever they can. "We make life every day in Ribes. you could say... gosh. We thought we would see Aitana, who has games every weekend and trains every day, once a month or every two weeks. But no! She's the friend I see the most. We meet three days a week on average. Or four. She comes home from training and says: "Come on, let's go for a drink, I have to explain to you. Free weekend? Well, let's take advantage of it and we'll all go out together. Free time? Come by the house and we'll watch a couple of things. It's very cool, because you never know what's going to happen. You're 15 years old and you have a group of friends and where does each one end up... And she, on the other hand, gets to where she is now, top of football, and you think: "”Maybe I'll lose her.” On the contrary," he says proud of Aitana, with whom he always finds time to go for matchas or brunch in Vilanova.

Aitana is a leader in the field and her skills on the pitch are also transferred to her group of friends, especially when they go on a getaway because she has the weekend off. She is in charge of the board games and always carries Jenga in her suitcase. Also Dixit. From time to time, they also play cards together.

"She's still a world champion, we all know that. You see her the day before playing a match in Cordoba against Switzerland with the national team and the next day we are here, so normal, having a matcha in the bar and talking about our shit. She's a very normal girl," says Xavi, who will accompany her to Paris with the rest of his friends, staff and family. She will lift the Ballon d'Or and achieve the biggest milestone of her career at an individual level. But a few days later she will return to Ribes. And she will sit in the Plaça Marcer like any other local.

#aitana bonmati #ballon d'or #in honor of her going to Ribes right away #the mural is so so beautiful #aitana bonmatí #ribes girl back in ribes #i love this a lot

[problematicfactive]

New intro Post

New intro post! How exciting! This is my celebration for reaching 25 followers so fast! Thank you all for your overwhelming support in this journey, it really has been a lot.

If you're new here, my boyfriend and I are both introjected from extremely problematic medias revolving around a very bad person that lived in real life. We are both from fictional medias, bit the person of which we introjected is very much real, and We've gotten a LOT of shit for it.

Spaces that claim to be safe spaces for systems-- or God forbid, safe spaces for *problematic* introjects and alters, tend to be rude or spiteful towards individuals who are factives from problematic sources.

I firmly believe this hateful stance comes from a place of not understanding, so I've created this blog to give people who don't understand a chance to talk and speak to us without losing their cool as we also stay anonymous on this blog. They're always nice until they find out who you are /hj . Since it's creation, the blog has since turned into a big place for problematic factives to just feel safe and seen. I'm beyond happy about this, and glad my blog can serve both purposes. More under the cut!

We post a lot of everything!

We answer asks from people who have questions about us or about being problematic factives, we make positivity posts for problematic factives, problematic factive culture is... posts, and lots of other things you could think of. Feel free to vent in our askbox or message us for a chat! We'd love to have a friend.

Some things off the top of my head that I can't do on this blog (but if you end up making a blog for these things and need a mod, totally hmu!)

Stimboards/Moodboards etc. - I would literally love to do these but the problem is I know like nothing about anyone. Of you were to ask me for a Donald Trump moodboard I honestly do not know what I would do my mind would just blank. That being said, in decently good at making them so if there were a person I knew well enough to do a stimboard on, I definitely could

Icon edits - This is somthing I'm capable of doing, but it isn't something where I would want this entire blog to just turn into requests. If you're making a blog specifically for these creative requests things totally hmu

Art - I cannot draw but my hope is that that changes in the future.

-

Meet us!

My last intro post didn't really have any information on us as people let's try and fix that.

I can't tell you my name, but you can call me Anxiety. I'm the main mod and significantly less source connected/more source ashamed. I go by he/Anxiety with Anxiety being able to work in place of either a name or a pronoun. Unless the host is helping out with something, anything that isn't labeled comes from me. I'm the only one out of the two of us with the physical ability to type so when he posts something, it's a little special occasion and deserves a label.

My boyfriend doesn't have a name option other than a source one. On the blog he has only been referred to as my boyfriend, but if you need a name for him, call him NPC. He uses he/him pronouns and will sign off any post that he thinks up all on his own with -NPC and tagged with # npc posts

Tagging

Here is some of the tagging we use on this blog

# problematic factive culture = Problematic factive culture is.. posts

# kindness and positivity = Kind and Positive asks we've received

# good thoughtful questions = Good questions we received as asks

# positivity post = Positivity posts

# problematicfactive blog things = things that ate moreso related to one of the mods or running the blog than they are about problematic factives

# rainy day drafts = drafts that could be super old because I made them and them left them in the drafts so I could post when I don't have anything else to post

# queued because I am asleep 😊 / queued because hopefully I'm sleeping = posts that I queue to be 5-ish hours away from the last post. I often post somthing at 12 am Eastern Time regardless of the last something was posted, so those early morning positivity posts tend to also be queued with the tag

If you come across us and like what we do, consider boosting or realigning this post! I'd love for as many people to find out we exist as possible

# askers experience = Asks sent in where an asker tells me about their life

# npc posts = posts my npc wrote as a mod on this blog (does not apply to posts where "my boyfriend's answer" is me paraphrasing or trying to speak for him)

#intro post #problematic factive #problematic source #problematic introject #factive #introject #plural community #plural #system #sysblr #problematicfactive blog things

[adrianicsea]

HELP MARK PATTON COVER HIS MEDICAL BILLS!!!

(originally posted january 13th, 2023)

mark patton, an actor and lgbtq+ activist best known for playing jesse in a nightmare on elm street 2, has been hospitalized for complications relating to HIV/AIDS, and his agent has put up a gofundme to help raise the money to get patton to better hospital facilities.

anyone who’s familiar with the elm street movies or mark patton’s history can tell you that he’s had a very rough go of it; after being outed against his wishes in the aftermath of elm street 2’s release, his fledgling career was tanked, and he proceeded to lose many friends and loved ones throughout the AIDS crisis. patton himself contracted HIV and retired quietly to mexico in the late 90s, where he lived in obscurity until a critical and fan re-evaluation of elm street 2 took place in the mid 2010s.

patton has since re-emerged to the convention circuit, where he raises awareness for lgbtq+ people and for HIV/AIDS. he’s a very important queer horror icon, and one who’s very dear to me personally as well. i know i have a pretty decent following of horror fans, so i hope that if any of you have the money to spare, you’ll consider donating to him. even if you can’t, i hope that you’ll share this post!

full gofundme text/description, written by patton’s agent/manager peter valderrama:

[id: three screenshots of a gofundme description. it reads:

Hey guys! This Peter Valderrama, posting for Mark. I have urgent statements here from and about Mark Patton I appreciate if everyone reads carefully I know it is a bit long but it is a serious matter If you can help or share in anyway it is appreciated very much. As Mark Pattons manager, I've been asked on his behalf to help post this Information and get this statement to be seen!

As his fans know very well, Mark takes his events very seriously and values any opportunity to meet with them in person- especially after the last few years with covid seriously crippling those opportunities.,

Mark was truly looking forward to this show for quite some time but sadly his health has taken a drastic turn for the worse.

He has been ill for quite some time now- originally it was thought to be aftershocks of covid and some hefty infections that could potentially be tackled with care and rest. But now it is quite clearly AIDS related ailments that he is managing.

He has been quiet for his own privacy but with the cancellation of his events at the musicbox theater and horror house shop he has decided to release his news in the hopes that his community could help him.

Mark is currently in a Mexican hospital where they speak very little English- and they are completely overcome with covid cases there.. He needs to be transported to an American hospital down there where he can be receive more specialized care in a safer setting. For this, we humbly need to ask for help.

Mark himself has asked in a statement below that we share his current news and ask everyone in the horror community to please help with his fundraiser in any way that they can.

"Basically I am asking for help I will not be embarrassed…. I just want to be healthy and at home with family.

I need to move to American Hospital in Mexico where they can give me the treatment i desperately need.

The American Hospital is $300 dollars a day with nurses, doctors and meds. The Mexican hospital are overwhelmed with Covid and I am too compromised to remain here.

I feel very stupid for being overly optimistic. I thought I would be flying to Chicago today but I promise that when I am well enough to fly to USA I will.

I have faced these medical challenges before and I know I have a lot of fight left in me- but the last few years have been crippling for me financially. I have always lived Month to month and I have been struggling with medical visits since October.

If anyone is able to contribute it would mean a life saving option for me to be recovering in a place that can cater to my condition.

Thank you all

Love,

Mark"

end id]

#nightmare on elm street #horror #mark patton #hiv aids #freddy krueger #jesse walsh

[melancholy-marionette]

Hi hi! I'm a fan of your yandere games and I just recently found out about your Tumblr account while hunting for fandoms of your games X3 I just finished playing Solipsism Reigns after letting it just sit there somewhere on my laptop for a whole year cuz I got attached to Kuro XD Ik your hands are already full from the amount of visual novels you've been creating so far but would you consider re-creating SR if you can? You don't have to feel obligated to ofc, I'm already impressed with the amount of visual novels you've cooked up XD (I'm quite nervous asking this cuz SR is so underrated and it's rarely talked about these days)

Hey hey! That’s awesome :D Super glad to hear it <3 

Yeeeeah, I mean, I don’t know for sure cos I’ve never looked, but I can’t imagine there's much in the way of fandoms for any of my games since they tend to fly under the radar x3 (my own fault for being incapable of using social media to promote stuff, I know T_T haha)

Since my following is mainly concentrated on itch I guess maybe that doesn’t help since other devs tend to post stuff in places like this and interact with people more. Heck, one of my supporters was even kind enough to make me a Discord server, which is incredible! But even with that, I struggle to use it regularly cos I can’t cope with live conversations very well >.< My social processing power is extremely limited T_T

The most frustrating thing is that I would like to be more active with social stuff, I just can’t handle it very well thanks to my ASD :( It only takes a little bit of social media for me to become completely overwhelmed and have to force myself to come off it so I don’t shut down, haha. It sucks.

Anyways, I’m rambling, sorry x3

That’s so cool you played SR :D my original baby, haha. It looks so old now T_T Every time I see it on my itch dashboard I end up thinking of all the things I would change now I have more experience as a dev! It makes me a happy bunny to hear that you got attached to Kuro though ^-^

Funnily enough... I had already planned to remake SR at some point :D 

As much as the project will always have a special place in my heart with it being my first-ever VN, there are many things about it that bother me too, haha. 

My hope is to eventually remake it from scratch (I kinda have no choice in that anyhow since I no longer have the old Tyranobuilder project files x3) in Naninovel :3 Cos I know Tyrano was kinda clunky >.< In Nani, I could make it all work more smoothly + add more in the way of visual FX and stuff too.

On top of that though, I plan to go over all of my writing because there’s sooooo much I’m not happy with (mainly glaring at the student route >.>) + with any luck add an entirely new route as well that I cut from the original release due to a lack of time to write it properly when I found out Kuro’s VA was going to be moving to another country and putting voice acting on hold, haha. 

There was also a BxG version in the works that’s currently on hold but features redesigned sprites by LazyPolarBear + CGs for a male protagonist x fem Kuro.

I’m not sure what I want to do about the music in the project because I feel like I chose the tracks well to fit the game, BUT, I’ve heard those same tracks in soooo many other people’s games now that I kind of hate that I used so much from Incompetch, haha. Kevin’s music is incredible, but since it’s very generously free to use, it does mean it’s kind of overused in games >.< I didn’t have any other option at the time cos I couldn’t make my own music and I didn’t have any money to buy asset packs.

Now that I tend to create my own OSTs, it would seem kind of insane not to make one for SR in the process of a proper remake. It’s just it would require me to make a lot of tracks x3 I’ll probably give it a go though + maybe keep a handful of Kevin’s ones that I really like too much to let go of, haha.

So yeah, my hope is to eventually remake the original otome version of SR in a different engine with edited + new writing, some new art, new UI, new FX, possibly an OST, and I guess new VA to go with the new writing :D 

I don’t really know when because I need to finish CiQ, DD, and Blue Blythe’s route in Bitter/Sweet before I tackle any more long-term projects x3 So it won’t be any time soon. Once I’ve managed to finish all of those though, I’ll probably make it my next long-term priority project :3

I’m genuinely flattered that you actually liked SR enough to even ask this! It always amazes me when anyone leaves a positive word about SR because I assumed that it had kinda just been lost to the sands of time at this point xD I know it’s definitely showing its age, haha. It’s nice to know there are still people out there who are willing to give it a chance if they happen to come across it somehow ^-^

I feel like my games are probably rarely talked about in general, haha. I mean, since I’m a fan of yandere games and play them myself, I do lurk in some communities + sometimes look at recs threads other people post to get ideas for things to add to my own playlist, and it’s not often that I see any of my games mentioned on recs or being discussed x3

I always kinda hope it’s cos people don’t know they exist rather than it being a case of them thinking they’re not worthy of mentioning xD Either way isn’t exactly great though I guess, haha. 

I just can’t promote stuff for the life of me cos I find it too overwhelming & exhausting + I don’t really have the self-confidence to try and put my games in front of people anyways cos I always feel like what I make isn’t good enough >.< I’m basically 100% reliant on other people sharing my games for anyone to even discover them x3 Either that or searching the yandere tag on itch, but even then, they might be kinda hard to locate cos they’re not super near the top since I don’t get as many people rating my games as other devs do. SR is my oldest game and it doesn’t even have 100 ratings yet on itch xD

If you search the yandere tag on itch and sort by ‘top rated’ 14 Days With You is first with a whopping 1238 total ratings as of searching right now while I type this… my first game to appear is Darling Duality as the 13th result with a mere 427 ratings by comparison, haha. And I’m pretty sure DD only got rated that much because of Manly’s video x3 Bitter/Sweet is next with only 228 total ratings by comparison.

I know people can just click on my itch profile if they happen to find and like 1 of my games and maybe want to see if I’ve made others, but a lot of people don’t realise you can do that, or they don’t know that I primarily make games with yanderes in x3 So they just go unnoticed.

Heck, Dawn of the Damned is related to Darling Duality, and even though DD is my most popular project, I can’t seem to get people to check out Dawn of the Damned, haha. At this point, the tiny demo for DD has 44.7k downloads (this still blows my mind o.o), and yet despite Dawn of the Damned being a completed project and set in the same universe featuring future DD characters, it only has 4036 total downloads as of today x3 If I can’t get the majority of my own followers to check out a game I made that’s set in the same universe, I have no hope of getting them to find my other yandere stuff T_T and even less hope of getting my games in front of people who have never heard of me as a dev, haha.

I’ve even had a handful of people tell me that they think Apartment No.9 is my best game, and that Doyle is their favourite ever yandere guy, but the project only has 3680 downloads x3

But yeah, my analytics on itch are really skewed cos pretty much all the numbers are for Darling Duality and my Yandere Heaven fandub. I may have somehow managed to get a fair few followers on there over the years, but I think probably something like 90% of them (possibly even more than that) are waiting for DD and aren’t interested in my other projects.

My poor Yandere Heaven fandub has received some attention (in fact, it’s actually beating DD on total downloads somehow), but there has been a lot of negativity + a looooot of 1* and 2* bad ratings on itch because, for some reason, people don’t realise it’s a fandub even though I put that very clearly on the page T_T So they rate the game badly with comments saying the story sucks, or that having no choices is stupid, the characters are dumb, or that it’s too goofy and OTT. None of which is even my fault since I’m trying to faithfully recreate the original content. All I wanted to do was make a Japanese drama CD into a VN fandub game >.< haha. 

I can’t believe I’ve rambled so much anyhow xD I’m so sorry, haha. It’s just one of those things that causes me a lot of confusion x3 I know I can’t handle social media very well and I fail at promo, but I can’t understand why a majority of my projects receive so few views/downloads in comparison to DD >.< I can’t for the life of me figure out what’s so appealing about DD and not my other stuff, haha. Unless it’s literally just cos Manly played it x3

Before I go though, I just wanna say a big thank you for playing my stuff :3 It really means a lot! I hope you get to have a super duper year ahead <3

#yandere #answered asks #solipsism reigns #rambles #ramblings

[d00mbunnie]

Choose your own adventure part 2

You smile and say ‘hello’. What an incredibly polite rabbit you have met. The bunny smiles back, which shows her two buck teeth. It looks a little silly, but you can tell she’s very pleased to meet you and probably has something very important to tell you.

              “I’m Mable.” The bunny tells you, “I’m so pleased to meet you! I’m from a place called Safe haven 13. I’m here on behalf of them to ask you if you’d like to visit our place.”

              “well, that’s very nice of you Mable.” You respond, “I’ve never heard of it myself, could explain exactly what it is or where it is.”

              “Well, obviously as you can guess from the name it’s a safe place.” She holds her ear as if she was a human twirling her hair, “and as the world gets harder and harder for everyone, we offer a respite from it to humans from all over the world who need help with life.”

              You think to your self that nearly most people in the world could use a place like that right now. You’re not sure if you want to go, part of you wonders if you’ve fallen asleep and you’re dreaming. Of course, if you are dreaming there’s nor harm in going. It would probably be a pleasant experience.

              “But why me?” you ask wondering why you’re so special to deserve this offer.

              “Well,” Mable pauses then continues, “We, the administrators have hear really good things about you, such as you’re pets both living and dead, you’re ancestors who are just really worried about you, and we know you’re friends and family are concerned. I know that may sound weird to you, but a lot of people care about you, even the ones that you think are gone and they’ve asked us to help you out. You see Safe Haven is a magically built place, so we are able to offer help that you just can’t get in the mundane world.”

              Well magic does explain a lot you think. Part of you is overwhelmed with happiness that so many people thought of you. You’ve often thought no one cared anymore. Still part of you is unsure. You’ve been let down a lot lately. Not just by those you know, or by society it’s self, but the whole world seems to be against you. The negative part of your brain is nagging at you to not trust this, to not believe. That maybe you’re just having a hallucination, maybe someone drugged your drink. You take a deep breath and say.

so I'm gonna give this option a week, because the weekend is coming up and I want to plan a head for this. I'm thinking of adding some pictures and I want to give people enough time to vote. I'll reblog it several times because I know you can loose track of stuff.

#cyoa #chose your own adventure #CYOA part 2

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hey Reid I know I've asked something similar before but can't find it. So 10 years after completing homeschool, I finally got my GED (thank you ableist school district) It'll still take till Christmas to get official certificate 🙄 But I've always had a passion/desire for Archeology/Anthropology. Right Now best option is the local community (next closest place is NYC 2hr away and that distance is not feesable right now) College has associates degrees with Liberal arts:

International Studies

Humanities and Social sciences

Individual studies

Mathematics and Natural science

Anthropology is included in there somehow (I don't know how to read a college website)

Long story short college prep wasn't included in homeschool and I'm lost, I'm open to further discussion via DM

Any advice welcome 🙏

-sincerely overwhelmed future dirtling,

*Side note I do have Cerebral palsy but am still going to give it a go, but any advice for managing it with a disability is appreciated

Hey there! The first thing I'm going to recommend is that you check out my advice masterlist. It's got lots of posts about academic advice for people who want to study anthropology/archaeology in college.

Next: anthropology is a social science, so it'll probably be under Humanities and Social Sciences. If you navigate to that portion their website, they probably have a breakdown of subjects and classes that they offer, as well as potential majors or concentrations. They'll also have a staff/faculty directory—go look at that. There is probably an academic advisor whose entire job is to help people like you figure out what classes they should take.

Speaks of people whose job it is to help you, your community college should also have a disability services office. Get in touch with them. They'll get you the documentation you need to set up any accommodations you might need like special seating/equipment or extended time for assignments and exams.

Community colleges are great because their number one focus is on teaching, and I think you'll find that there are many people who are willing to help you. I know it seems daunting right now, but nothing here is an insurmountable obstacle. You can break this down into manageable chunks: Sit down with the college website for 10 or 15 minutes and do your best to track down the information you need. Some things to look for include:

Office of financial aid

Academic advisor/student coordinator for the social science department

Page for anthropology majors (although not all colleges will actually have an anthro major)

Page for applications if you haven't filled that out already

Page for disability services and contact information for someone from that office

Get in contact with the right people, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Folks at community colleges are used to dealing with non-traditional students (people who aren't going right into a 4 year degree after high school) and they should have systems in place to guide you.

Deep breaths. You got this! -Reid

#he speaks #academic advice #community college

[trashlie]

Love your thoughts on ep 231 ohmygod you (and poisonheart) summed everything up perfectly! What I would like to add for your consideration is that it feels like Nol indirectly projects his own fears about his situation with Shin-ae when he talks about Dieter. And it doesn't take away from his empathy for Dieter or his guilt, it's another layer for us readers to pick up on. "Those feelings take forever to vanish" and "it doesn't help that you spend time with him" and "all [stringing him along and being wishy-washy] does is prolong the pain" -- Nol fears this might happen to him if Shin-ae keeps insisting there's nothing between them, or if she rejects him and wants to stay "just friends". And it's obvious that he is absolutely not willing to go through that, not on top of everything else he's already dealing with. Dieter might be okay with being "just friends", that's his choice, but Nol knows he cannot take that same route. He doesn't have the willpower to swallow all his feelings and pretend like he's fine with being "just friends", especially when all the signs that she has similar feelings for him are there. That would be unbearable. I believe that is where, maybe just subconsciously, part of his frustration and this urgency, but also his resolution and "all in"-mindset come from. His options are just really limited.

Also. It needs to be said that Nol pushing Shin-ae to find the answer on her own instead of giving it to her was probably the best thing he could do. He gave her a lot to think about and evaluate when he implied that their shared moment was romantic and that Dieter also thinks that, and pointed out that it's him who she has a special connection with and not Dieter, that "because we're friends" doesn't explain her actions and behavior (and feelings) anymore. And then he topped it all off with the "convince me" and The Look™ (which I believe was a calculated move) that made her blush and avert her eyes for the 274th time in the past couple of hours, to really drive home that whatever this is, it doesn't fit the term "platonic" anymore. What is it then, to her? That's something she has to realize herself. It's not for him to tell her, to explain it to her. It's actually crazy that by rejecting her "we're friends" answer and kicking her out, he essentially said "come back when you've figured out that you're in love with me" LIKE. SCREAMS. People are saying he should've just told her how he feels, but... Time and place. What good would that even do when she's mad at him and still so stuck on the friendship thing? She's in no way prepared to hear a confession from him. It'd overwhelm and confuse her. And what kind of response would she even give in the state she's in, realistically? That'd be so messy and YELLS some people simply cannot appreciate the TENSION THE ANGST THE SUBTEXT ALL THE THINGS UNSPOKEN IN THE AIR BETWEEN THEM like come on we can have lil a miscommunication as a treat, especially when it fits the narrative… Y'all are gonna get your fluffy moments soon enough, let us enjoy the PAIN so that the payoff is much sweeter. GAH.

YELLS some people simply cannot appreciate the TENSION THE ANGST THE SUBTEXT ALL THE THINGS UNSPOKEN IN THE AIR BETWEEN THEM like come on we can have lil a miscommunication as a treat

YOU GET IT ANON YOU GET IT YOU ABSOLUTELY GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am screaming from the roof I am hanging off the gutters screaming YOU FUCKING GET IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Like, on some level I understand why people want to rush to a certain point want to jump to confirmations but to me IT'S NOT READY WE'RE NOT READY. I am into PINING I am into YEARNING I need a man to become VERY PATHETIC about the girl he likes I need him to writhe in agony over what he wants I need conflict I need the embarrassing realization about a character's feelings i need them blushing in the dark all alone with their stomach twisting up their heart rustling with all the butterflies trying to break out of their rib cage. I need them meeting and averting gazes and feeling so on display and so vulnerable and RAW i need them EMBARRASSED that they have feelings GROSS EWW HOW DID THIS HAPPEN i need subconcious dreams i need toes curling i need the want the want the WANT holding back bUT BARELY HOLDING BACK

I need tension SO GOOD SO DELECTABLE i'm bouncing off the walls and ceilings like a todder who just ate their way through all the sugar in the house. i need LOADED moments that make me throw down my phone i need the subtext!!!!!!!! I need to inject it in my veins and shriek like a banshee WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE WANT TO SKIP THIS PART WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO JUST JUMP TO THE NEXT PART THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF THIS IS! WHAT! ROMANCES ARE MADE OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the things that lead up to it, it's the build up, it's the WANTING to crush them together the DYING FOR IT TO HAPPEN.

but anyway

lemme pretend to be normal about this for a bit

I think what's soooooo good about the subtext is YES all those things unsaid. That as much as Nol is speaking on Dieter's behalf - he speaks on his own. It's not that Shinae needs to figure out her feelings for Dieter's sake but for his own, too, because RIGHT because she is too important to him now THIS is too important it means too much and he WANTS IT TOO MUCH to be wishy wash to be half-assed to be either or not. And that's what is SO GOOD to me. He IS scared. He needs her to come to the realization, to face the truth and embrace it because he needs it to be true. He needs to know what he suspects is true.

scales the walls i'm sorry i lied i CAN'T BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS I CANNOT BE NORMAL ABOUT THEM ANYMORE

He doesn't have the willpower to swallow all his feelings and pretend like he's fine with being "just friends", especially when all the signs that she has similar feelings for him are there. That would be unbearable.

Nol has spent so much of his time trying to close himself off, to isolate himself and to just seal himself away and then here's Shinae, mirroring him, chasing him down and trying to pull him out of every hole he tries to hide himself in. She is beating down his doors she is telling him at every opportunity that she loves him that he is important that she can't throw this all away.

And we've established before: Nol can't resist her. At all!!!!! He tries and he fails at every time. He tries to block her away but he still leaves her these openings. Like, he blocked her number but he STILL LOOKED AT HIS SPAM knowing what kind of message would be in there.

He tells himself he doesn't want it doesn't deserve it but he DOES. He LIKES that she cares. He LIKES that she sees him. He tried to make himself not care, but he wants it. He WAS disappointed when Shinae left after the dance - because he pushed her away again, because her hurt her again. He's so afraid of losing her at this point (I'm sure that's part of why he couldn't look at her at the time - not just that he was crying and doesn't want to be seen like that, but he must be scared, afraid that after he leaves this will all disappear she'll change her feelings it won't mean anything anymore) and when he pulled off the blindfold she was gone.

It's like.... kind of like Shinae says - they've been through so much together. But because he's aware of those feelings now - because he knows what she means to him, he CAN'T go back. Going back to just friends? After she's pushed for him after she's fought for him after she's boxed down his walls?

How can he go back to it? HOW?

Shinae made him open up, too. He has revealed so much more to her than I think he's revealed to others. Alyssa probably knows more about his life than Soushi and Dieter, but I think he's revealed more to Shinae. She made him care and how can go back to being "just friends".

Usually I hate that argument but in his case, I get it. Shinae is so important to him, means so much (HE LITERALLY IS ALIVE BECAUSE OF HER AT THIS POINT) and to go back to just.... not feeling this? To being just friends? We've watched him reach out to her SO MANY TIMES and deny himself. And now that he has? Now that he's reached out now that he has felt these things? It would be so unbearable!

What is it then, to her? That's something she has to realize herself. It's not for him to tell her, to explain it to her. It's actually crazy that by rejecting her "we're friends" answer and kicking her out, he essentially said "come back when you've figured out that you're in love with me" LIKE. SCREAMS.

GOD I KNOW I KNOW I KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOW SCREAMS AND SCURRIES UP THE WALL AGAIN

I LOVE that he's leaving it to her. I fully think Shinae has been, partly, influenced by Dieter's feelings for her. Would she have started to feel anything for him if she didn't know he already likes her? Would she have seen anything in the way he looks at her if she didn't know it already? And I FULLY think Nol confessing at this time would have made things worse - it would confuse her! And I think it would probably make her avoid him. I don't think she'd be able to handle it if he confessed because she doesn't even know her own feelings, let alone how to handle his. And BECAUSE his feelings are intricately tied to hers in relation to what Dieter oversaw it would absolutely influence her own feelings.

She's got to be able to come to this realization herself because, frankly, she's been confessing to him ALL fucking night long. She keeps telling him how important he is to her, what he means to her! But she doesn't understand WHY he's important to her. She doesn't understand WHY she's putting all her energy into hanging on to him, into tethering him to her. And as much it's not fair to Dieter, it's also not fair to Nol, either, for those confused feelings to go on all tangled up. But likewise, Nol IS telling her how he feels, too - just, you know. Subtextually.

Comparing their relationship to Dieter's to illuminate just how different they, how much more intense theirs is compared to what she has with Dieter. That fucking LINE the "not even as friends" ;______; It's about the way she elevates Nol above him, the way she will drop everything for him. He knows it! Dieter can see it! But she can't see it for what it is yet and he needs her to. He keeps showing her what he feels by telling her what Dieter saw. That it wasn't just platonic - not from him. She's so insistent it didn't mean anything that it's not romantic even though HE WAS LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT. HE WAS COMMANDING HER TAKE OFF HER SHOES LIKE THAT. She was getting SO WORKED UP about that moment!!!!!! THIS MAN ASKED HER TO DANCE IN THE MOST INTENSE FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE IS CONVINCED IT'S SO PLATONIC JUST

JUST FUCKING

/SCREAMS/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thinking about it from Dieter's POV is really NUTS, too, because he sees the things Shinae doesn't know how to identify. Even before the whole dancing thing (the idea of DIETER seeing the Shinae that Nol didn't, seeing how happy she was, how much fun she was having), thinking about like.... it really starts when Shinae gives him her gift, right? She gets SO EMBARRASSED - SO SHY about him seeing it and she thinks it's so simple and that it can't compare bUT IT DOES. It's a call back to their early days, the whole "you don't suck that much" akjakfkafkjafjkafkjfkjfa THE WAY WE DON'T SEE HIS EYES WE JUST SEE HIM LOOK OVER AT HER SO SHY TRYING NOT TO TAKE NOTICE and then suddenly he's just. OVERCOME. He's reaching out he's touching her hair!!!!!!!!!!! She isn't even pulling away!!!!!!!! He's leaning in they're so close they're just IN EACH OTHER'S SPACE and imagine it from his POV, how he's seeing it, that chemistry that just EXISTS between them, that intimacy and tenderness that's just LOADED and how he can probably feel it so heavy in the pit of his stomach because could he ever be so bold? No, never. Could he reach out and touch her like that? Encroach on her space? Sit so close to her? The flirting with the finger dancing and their giggles and the ease they're just SO EFFORTLESS and he doesn't have that and he knows it and he's known all along but now he has to ACCEPT it now he has to face the reality that everything he worried about everything he feared is true that there's no room for him in between them there and LJFAKKFKAFLAFKJAF

IT'S SO INSANE that she's just like BUT IT WAS JUST FRIENDS

There's nothing "friends" about that babes and Nol knows it and Dieter knows it and we know it but SHE needs to come to the conclusion. She needs to wake up and realize that oh my god that's why it all matters that's what it all means that's why she's fighting so hard that's why he's so important. And then being able to see all the things he said to her between the lines, what it meant for Dieter to oversee that I just

ROARS JUST SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOP

I'm SO glad Nol hasn't confessed! It would be SO messy! It would make things so much worse it would hurt so much for EVERYONE. She's gotta sort out her feelings! Nol is really good at reading her, and he knows how to push her in the right direction. It's not the right time. I think maybe people who want him to confess don't see it that way - that it would be so overwhelming and probably scare her off. i mean, even coming to the realization on her own will probably give her a scare, but it's different when she realizes that oh, I'M in love with him AS WELL as oh god HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME? compared to him confessing and leaving her feeling even more confused

like don't get me wrong there's a part of me that likes to imagine him just BREAKING and bursting out that "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OKAY! IT DIDN'T MEAN NOTHING TO ME" but I do prefer the canon. That's just good for a nice moment of imagined dramatics, you know?

But also. YEAH. We just. We need to RIDE OUT SOME NICE YEARNING AND FEELINGS AND ANGST FIRST. I'm pretty sure it won't last. Quimchee doesn't like drawing these things out and Shinae's confused feelings are a clear subversion of "girl does not realize she's in love" so I am confident the truth is going to hit her, but until then I want to enjoy the writhing and the ache!!!! Because that's what makes it SO MUCH BETTER when they can finally admit it!!!!!!! Where's the fun in jumping right to it? I want to SAVOR this so that when they can admit it, when they can say the words, when they can face the reality, it feels SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!! There's so much RELIEF!!!!!!!

I'm fully certain we'll see that before Nol goes to jail - the whole of this confrontation would mean NOTHING if he leaves while things are unresolved. The entirety of this whole ovearching arc of his return would be undone and leave us right back where we were, with no resolution, no one knowing where they stand. So like. Come on guys, it's coming just sit back and enjoy this ride a bit. When you think about it we haven't even been in this stage long! Like WE've been watching them fall in love this whole time, we've been watching them find a home in each other, we've been watching their souls come together intertwine and connect and imprint but THEY haven't sat with this long at all. Nol ONLY JUST REALIZED he has feelings.

HE HASN'T PINED YET AND I NEED HIM TO PINE I NEED HIM TO BE A LIL PATHETIC ABOUT HER I NEED HIM TO WRING HER HEADBAND AROUND IN HIS HANDS A LIL MORE AND SQUIRM WITH ALL THESE THOUGHTS THAT HE KEEPS TRYING TO FIGHT OUT OF HIS BRAIN THAT WON'T GO AWAY

I need Shinae to have an awakening dream about all the subtext all the things unsaid all the subconscious feelings she isn't aware of creeping in and if involves them kissing then WHO AM I TO SAY NO?

I cannot be normal anymore I'm sorry but I AM going to be unhinged and scream about them AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #Stalkyoo #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #I CANNOT BE NORMAL ANYMORE OKAY I WILL NOT PRETEND TO BE NORMAL #I AM SO HEAD OVER HEELS UNHINGED OVER HERE I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS AND I WILL NOT SHUT UP #look man #friends to lovers is MY SHIT #mutual pining IS MY SHIT #i need some pining and yearning to really enjoy my ship you know? #also frankly yes Nol did the best thing he could possibly do under these conditions and i will not accept anyone saying otherwise #it's a messy situation and there's no clean way of doing anything #but this is the best we can do and i'm eager to watch it play out #a lot of heavy conversations have to be had and aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[sqwintersolstice]

Hello, Swen!

The final steps are upon us. It’s time to put your works in the Swan Queen Winter Solstice collection, so they can eventually be revealed to the fandom! 💜

The deadline for posting your work(s) is midnight EST on January 22nd unless you’ve asked for an extension. (Click HERE to check what time that is in your area.)

Without further ado, let’s do this!

1. HOW TO GET TO THE COLLECTION

To start, head directly to the collection by clicking HERE, and then hit the Post to Collection button to submit a work to it.

If you have participated before in similar events, then feel free to skip the rest of this tutorial and create your work in the collection (the only exception might be if you’re posting a video, because we have a special formatting we’ve provided for displaying them on mobile. You might want to check it out in section 6.3).

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The first section that will show up when you create a new work is the Tags section. Here you will add information about your creation: Rating, Archive Warnings, Fandom, Category, Relationships, Characters, and Additional Tags. It will look similar to the image below:

The Rating and the Archive Warnings are very important steps, so please make sure they are accurate to your work. Make use of any of the options for Archive Warnings that might apply, keeping in mind that ‘No Archive Warnings Apply’ should only be used in case none of the others such as ‘Graphic Depictions of Violence’ or ‘Underage’ appear in your work. Otherwise, if you’re trying to avoid spoiling your plot for any reason, ‘Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings’ is a good option.

In Fandoms, you could add another besides Once Upon a Time (TV) if your work has a crossover; in Relationships, and Characters, feel free to add any others that might appear in your work besides Emma and Regina in case they’re crucial to the plot.

Additional Tags can include anything you feel might also apply to your creation, and that also might help people search for it. 

If there are any specific warnings you’d like to clarify, add them in. Is your plot set in an alternate universe? Or maybe it includes bed sharing? Are they being idiots in love? (Always.) Maybe they’re trapped together? Is there lots of fluff? Mutual pining? Angst? (Well, now that would be a plot alright.) 

Just don’t add too many to avoid overwhelming anyone, of course.

3. PREFACE SECTION

Now, to introduce your work to people. How will it be named and remembered? Here’s more or less how the preface section will look like once you’ve filled it in:

In your Work Title, you name your creation. In Add co-creators, you add the name of your collab creator in case you have one. You put your Summary in its text box, explaining some of your plot — for writers and artists both, we recommend not leaving your summary blank! It gives a bit more insight into your work.

Specifically for artists — in the title, adding [Art], [Fanvid] or [Fanart] to the end of your title helps make it recognizable in the collection. (An additional tag with the same thing wouldn’t hurt, too!)

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Firstly, please check that SQWinterSolstice3 is still there in Post to Collections / Challenges — if you clicked directly on the link beforehand, it should be. If you don’t see it, type it in and you should be good to go.

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This work has multiple chapters — as seen in the image above, when you mark the option you can type in the amount of chapters your work has, as well as name your first chapter. If your work does not have multiple chapters, just leave it unmarked.

Set a different publication date — do NOT mark it just yet! Once you receive your email with your reveal date, we will provide further instructions about this and when to change the date. If you set it to something different now, your work won’t show up at the beginning of the SQ tag once it’s revealed, so leave it alone for now.

Choose a language — select English and that’s it!

Select work skin — if you have worked with HTML/CSS before and have customized something for your work, select your work skin here. If not, leave it blank, or refer to 6.3 in case you’re posting a video.

5. PRIVACY SECTION

This section is completely up to you. While ‘Only show your work to registered users’ and ‘Only registered users can comment’ might limit mean comments, they can also make it harder for people to comment in general. ‘Enable comment moderation’ means you’ll have to approve comments before they show up on the page, so it’s a more viable option. Consider what’s best for you.

6. WORK TEXT SECTION

Here is where you place your work. 

6.1 — Fics; 

6.2 — Fanarts, fanmixes etc; 

6.3 — Fanvids.

6.1. FICS

While you can use the HTML editor, we recommend switching to the Rich Text editor so you can directly paste your story from Word or Google Docs. Otherwise, your fic might lack spaces between each paragraph, making it harder to read. Most of the basic formatting will be retained from the original, such as bold, italics, paragraph division, etc so please make sure to change to Rich Text before pasting your work.

If everything worked so far and feels correct, please refer to item 7.

6.2. FANARTS, FANMIXES ETC

Also using the Rich Text editor like shown above, to add an image click on Insert/edit image:

This is what will pop up once you do:

In Source, AO3 asks you to paste in the url of your work. There are a few options to get one. The easiest one is to post it privately on your Tumblr, grabbing the url from it. Please remember that anywhere you post it to get this url has to be private, since it hasn’t been revealed yet. Your URL has to end in .png, .jpg, .gif to be valid. AO3 also provides a few alternatives, if you want to check it out.

Next, we have Image description. Here you’re able to describe your work for people who use screen readers.

For Width and Height, leave it blank for now and see how your image looks posted before altering it. If it looks fine for all screens, then you don’t have to change it.

You might have to write something in the text box in order to have the image show up.

If everything worked so far and feels correct, please refer to item 7.

6.3. FANVIDS

Remember: your video has to be set to private until its reveal date! The following tutorial works for Youtube videos. It might not work if you’re posting it elsewhere.

If you head to your video, you’re able to click on Share and then Embed and copy the code for your video. While pasting that code on the HTML editor on AO3 works fine, it leaves it badly displayed on mobile. For this reason, we found a code from pigalle that embeds a youtube video and scales it correctly for any smaller screens.

It may be a few extra steps, but it does look a lot nicer for mobile viewers.

The first step is to create your own work skin so you’re able to apply it to your work. (You might have to save your work first as a draft in order to have your work skin showing up as an option to choose from. It’s necessary to refresh the page so the work skin shows up.)

So, to create your work skin, head over to your profile on the top right, then click on My Dashboard.

There, click on Skins, then on the button My Work Skins, and, last but not least, Create Work Skin.

Next, in the About section you can fill it in with any Title you’d like, as long as the Type is set to Work Skin. The description, preview and apply to make public options are not necessary, so you may skip them.

Now, for the CSS part. The CSS is what sets the properties and values and decides how the HTML will look like. What matters is just pasting the code below in the box. You don’t have to alter it, just copy and paste it:

#workskin .mobilevideo {

position: absolute;

top: 0;

left: 0;

width: 100%;

height: 100%;

}

#workskin .videoscale {

position: relative;

height: 0;

padding-top: 56.25%;

}

#workskin .videocontainer {

max-width: 100%;

width: 560px;

}

After that, just click on Submit, and that will mean your Work Skin has been created!

Back to your work, in the Associations section, Select Work Skin should have your recently created one as an option. Remember that you might have to refresh the page for it to show up, so make sure to save it as a draft first so you don’t lose any changes you made.

And then, in the HTML editor of your work, paste the code below:

<center><div class="videocontainer"><div class="videoscale"><p><iframe class="mobilevideo" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VIDEO ID HERE" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p></div></div></center>

Then, when you go to your video on Youtube, grab the ID portion of it like the one highlighted below:

Simply copy and paste that into the code where it says VIDEO ID HERE, like shown in the picture below as an example:

If everything worked so far and feels correct, please refer to item 7.

7. POST SECTION

And that’s it! Please double-check if everything is correct, though you’ll be able to edit it later. If you’d like to take a look at it first, click on Preview. If you’re confident about it, just click on Post.

If you’ve clicked on Preview, it will show how your work looks like on AO3. If something’s amiss, go back to the previous page by clicking on Edit. If it’s good to go, just click on Post — it’s the only way to have it be submitted to the collection, otherwise we won’t receive it.

7.1 HOW TO ADD CHAPTERS AND EDIT YOUR WORK

If your work is one with multiple chapters, or you’d like to make it one, on top of the posted work you’ll find several buttons. Clicking on Add Chapter or Edit will provide you with the option to create a new chapter for your work.

In case it only has one chapter and you’d like to edit it, just click on Edit and you should find the same page from earlier. Simply scroll down until you get to the Work Text section, and then click on the Rich Text button to edit your work.

8. HOW TO FIND YOUR WORK LATER

Once your work is posted as a Mystery Work, you can bookmark the page on your browser — the url will not change after it’s been revealed. It’s the easiest way to not lose track of where your work is and edit it later.

But don’t worry! If you lost your work’s url, there are a few ways to get the url and save it.

On your dashboard on AO3, there is an option on the sidebar that says WORKS. From there, you can either click EDIT WORKS (which displays all your works) or WORKS IN COLLECTIONS (which displays all your works currently in a collection). Either option will show you your unrevealed work.

-----------

There we go! Now you’re all set. Thank you so much for submitting your work!

We will be emailing you your reveal date(s) soon, so don’t worry if you hear someone has already gotten it and yours hasn’t arrived yet. In the email you’ll have more details on what to do for your reveal day, so please make sure to check your email so you don’t miss it!

If you have any questions, please contact us at [email protected] preferably, or on Twitter @SQWintrSolstice.

Sincerely,

Swan Queen Winter Solstice Mods

#swanqueen #swan queen #swan queen fanart #emma swan #regina mills #sq winter solstice #sqws #ouat #swen #swan queen fan event #posting tutorial #ao3 collection #SQWS 3

[shuttershocky]

shutters do you have a surtr-less way of solving DV-EX-8? I feel like I don't have enough operators to handle the boss, dorothy, the unpowered suits, and the creations thing

DV-EX-8 may feel like a bit of a time rush, having to get rid of all the power armor before they're awakened while dealing with the boss' constant pressure, but if you hold a few choke points and learn how to mitigate Awaken's global blast attack, you actually have quite a lot of time to work with.

Since there are actually many different ways to attack the stage depending on your operators, instead of a fully realized layout, I've illustrated chokepoints to hold as well as drawn the boss' path.

Blue arrows are holds to deal with the sleeping Power Armor. Placing an operator with here blocks the blobs from entering the Power Armor units and activating them, allowing you to plink away with Casters as you please.

Red arrows are chokes you hold because these are where the regular enemies actually run through. Thankfully as long as none of the Armor is awakened, the enemies in this stage aren't particularly dangerous.

The purple line shows the boss' path. Since it teleports around, you may be wary of how to set up to kill it, but if you notice, it always stays a reachable distance to where your holds are. As long as you can kill the Power Armor units before you kill its Phase 1 (which activates all sleeping Power Armor on death), you can wear it down nice and easy.

Now to learn to deal with the boss' pressure. Every time Awaken teleports, it charges up a huge blast that hits for 6750 damage, on top of its regular attacks. However, there's two important things to note:

Despite looking like an Arts blast, this move is physical

The 6750 damage gets SHARED equally across all friendly units hit, meaning the more of them out on the field, the less damage gets taken by each unit.

This means that if you don't want your casters instantly deleted from full health, you'll want as many friendly units out on the field as possible (throw Beanstalk Crabs, extra medics, Gravel for good measure), and making sure your ground units (who are already being pummeled by the regular enemies) are quite tanky. Centurions and Defenders are you best friends here, but a certain Caster Class is especially great.

The Phalanx Casters boast high DEF when their shields are up, and happen to have a wide range for when they actually attack. They can pull double duty quite well, helping to tank the boss' special AOE blast while also switching to offense mode and taking down the sleeping Power Armor while the boss recharges. (The boss takes 38 seconds to teleport to a new tile and blast again, so you have a reasonably long window between blasts.

Again, take note that the picture here doesn't include which tiles to place your casters and medics as well as your other melee units, this is going to be very dependent on which units you have (read: depending on which Casters you have raised, who sits where is going to be very different), but this should give you a basic foundation of the overall strategy. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed, you can slow down the pace of this stage with good old Block-3 operators and medics for sustain, then kill the boss when you're ready.

Note - Don't forget you have more Arts options than Casters! Arts Fighters that aren't Surtr, Lords with Arts damage like Lappland and Arene, they're great at dealing with this stage.

#Arknights

[oh-littlelamb]

Undisclosed regressions, aka activities and ideas for when you can't really express out loud your smolness

🐑 Starting of, for mostly of those things to help and be useful, mostly I am talking like the person reading has a more shy-quiet personality when regressing, why I say that? Mostly activities are minded to be more relaxing.

The list: 🌸 Coloring books and sketchbooks. -you can get adult Coloring books, if you really prefer the mostly cute and simple books you can rebind the book or use a temporary cover. -just get some calm place and start coloring. -I would also recommend an sketchbook, preferably just for age regressing, use it almost like a journal for you experiences and for drawing or collecting things like stickers and flowers. 🌸 Food. You can always use a water bottle filled with your favorite juice, also with your milk, there's a lot of water bottles that looks like sippies, so just give preference for those. Iabout food, my preferred method is fruit, per-cutted in the desired smol size for smol me, also there's a lot of little snacks to choose, like mini oreos or those small cookies (I have less options because of veganism, but I would also offer sandwiches, or yogurt) 🌸 Clothes and comfort. Just wear what is comfortable, it's the only rule, also I would recommend to knowing your clothes before (As someone that it's autistic I get overwhelmed with tags or itchy clothes, normally I can bear it and resolve the problem, but little me just gets stressed and easily has a meltdown) 🌸 Care package It's my favorite tip, specially if you have trouble at home, you can do this to have in hand your items,all you need it's to make a kit with all the things that would help you, like the things said before, plus, a small plushie or other toy, baby wipes (It's useful even if you don't regress). Basically you can go by "five senses + something to be distracted by" as an example (an snack, some type of scented plushie, coloring book+crayons, an rattle or bell) 🌸 The trouble of having friends It's the hardest I think. Mostly because you need to trust someone and hope for the understanding of that person. But it's good to have friends that know what is happening, you don't need to ask them to be a cg or give regressing a try, this is important to know in my opinion, its hard to understand limits for me, so it's more of an reminder.

#age regression #agerebr #age regressor #agere blog #agere community #agere little #safe agere #sfw agere #sfw little stuff