#all that went thru my brain when I was drawing was the “WHY are you running. WHY. ARE YOU RUNNING | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yaut-jaknowit · 1 year

Note

WAIT WAIT MY DRUNK BRAIN STARTED WORKING ON ANOTHE MXM IDEA

IMAGINE LIKE THE READER REUNITING WITH HIS MATE AFTER A LONGER TIME PERIOD FOR LIKE WTV ANGSTY REASON (broooo imagine the reader had gone thru smth traumatising like torture or some shit 😭😭) NAHHHH I MIGHT SPAM YOUR INBOX FR TONIGHT MY DRUNK BRAIN STARTED WORKING ON ALL LEVELS FROM ANGST TO NSFW LETSGOOOOO

Returned At Last Part 1

Pairing: Wolf x Reader

Word Count: 4506

Summary: All it was suppose to be a simple trip to earth. Wolf has a job to do. You're okay with that. You stay on the ship where it is safe. No one can hurt you from there. Wolf will come back and the two of you will leave. Don't let your guard down.

Author Note: Soooo I may or not have gone a little overboard with this. That's why it took a hot minute to get it out for you. Hopefully the length of it will be enough of an apology. But also, fucking love this, part of the reason why it's so fucking long.

I promise to all those who have asked me something, I am working on them. I just got side tracked with a few other writing prompts and drawing COD men.

Masterlist

Ao3

Part 2

Traveling out in space wasn’t all it was showed in shows. Getting stranded rarely happened; aliens boarding the ship to take over has never happened; stress and anxiety running high was also a nope. Everything was chill. It was just you and Wolf, flying through space as he hunted down Xenomorphs. When he gets off his ship to do his thing, you happily stay back, safe. He keeps you content with books, games, and other supplies his bought.

Yet, everything wasn’t chill today. Not everything goes perfectly. You weren’t safe.

It all started with a distress beacon coming from earth, funny enough. When Wolf told you about this, you jumped at the call. He, of course, couldn’t say no to the ancients telling him to respond. So, the two of you went through the void of space back to earth. You were more than happy to return after some time away. You couldn’t go visit family, since they believed you to be dead. Wolf had ordered you to stay on the ship. Why? You didn’t know.

This was your home planet after all. You knew about all the dangers, nothing could truly hurt you hidden out in the middle of nowhere. From what you could remember, Wolf placed the ship to be far from the origin. He said something about a gut feeling. Eh, you didn’t pay attention to him as he grumbled and gather his gear.

The two of you said your goodbyes to each other. Wolf went down the ramp, mask on, just like all the other times he has. You waved at him as the ramp started to close, locking you inside. It’s not like he has you trapped in here. You knew the code to leave if need be. He wouldn’t do that to you. There’s always a possibility that you needed to escape. One you didn’t believe in but let him have his way. If that made him content and knew you were safe, that’s all that matter to you as well.

When time passed at an unknown amount of time, just like any other time, you took roost in Wolf’s pilot chair. An action that didn’t save you. A book in hand, eyes scanning over the pages. One of the songs you liked hummed softly through the quiet air. Not a care or worry in the world. Nothing could hurt you while on your planet. That you believed in.

Something felt off. Your eyes lifted off of the page and snapped over to your water cup on the arm rest. The liquid inside was vibrating. Next, you peered over to the engine controls, thinking they somehow activated. Nothing. They were dormmate. That’s when you felt the pilot chair slightly tremble constantly underneath you. Huh?

You shifted to sit normally, gaze settling on the empty plains that sat out in front of the ship. Void of life and beings. If this was California, this could possibly be an earth quake? But you were unsure. You’ve never lived there. You didn’t know. That was the problem at hand.

Unable to relax or return to the book, you kept a flickering gaze on the scene before you. It was just you, the ship, and yellow sagebrush fields. The water kept rippling in its cup. It confused you on what could be causing that. An earthquake wouldn’t last this long. How right you were.

An idea came to mind. Wolf has taught you a few things about his ship, the basics in case of an emergency. You pressed a button on the console. A map of the scanned area appeared, like an aerial view of the plains.

Off to the ships, seven o’clock position was a small group of moving black dots. They were coming towards you. Oh shit! People. Not good. At all. They were heading towards the ship, towards you. Your quick fingers found the comm. Button close by and pressed it. Wolf kept his emergency comm. channel linked to the ship open at all time. For a situation that called for this.

“Wolf? There’s cars heading towards the ship. What should I do?” you questioned, eyes flickering back and forth the map. There’s been only two times you’ve flown the ship. Both opportunities have ended almost ended in a fiery explosion. You didn’t believe you could fly it again. Those chances were without stress. You weren’t worried there were people coming towards your camouflaged ship.

That thought made you paused. The shields were up… The camouflage was activated. How could they know where to drive? It wasn’t luck or chance they were heading in the right direction in the middle of nowhere. Wolf parked his vessel in the middle of nowhere. They shouldn’t know where to go unless…

Wolf hadn’t answered yet. “Wolf? Please, I don’t know what to do. I can’t fly this thing, you know that.” Silence from his end. You could almost groan at that. “Answer me! I need your help, Wolf!” you yelled as if that’ll help him hear you. Why wasn’t he answering? Fear gripped your heart in its deadly claws. Said organ thumping against its bony cage.

Your hands grasped the edge of the ship’s console, knuckles turning white. The vehicles continuously grew closer and closer and closer. Wolf didn’t respond. Had these people already got him? You blew that thought off though. This is Wolf you’re talking about. He took on a hybrid Xenomorph and Yautja. Probably one of the most deadly aliens out there known to existence. Best of all, the head is hung on his trophy wall.

Where are you, Wolf? Your head hung low. Solutions were running rampant in your mind. What to do? What to do? What could you do? Well, for starters, the ship. Its shields were strong, able to resist most blasts from enemy ships. So, these humans would struggle to break in. Yet, that didn’t quell your racing heart.

On the other hand, what couldn’t you do? Fly the damn thing. Wolf hasn’t taught you how to use the weapon system. Something about ‘oomans’ and killing themselves in stupid ways. In his own way, that’s him saying he loves you. You were fucked. You couldn’t escape with the ship. You couldn’t use the two massive guns attached to the belly. All you were a sitting duck for these humans to find and do whatever they want.

To be honest, you could hide. The ship offered many places for you squeeze yourself in. All you had to do was keep quiet and pray to Wolf’s god to keep you safe.

Contrary to belief, you would think living and being mates with a hunter/warrior race would automatically give you the knowledge to fight. Yeah, Wolf’s taught you a few things… it wasn’t going to be enough against the at least nine drivers of the vehicles.

With one last drop of hope, you pressed the comm. button once more. “They’re getting closer, Wolf. Please, I need you. I can’t fight them alone.” You held your breath, ears listening for anything that could signal he heard you.

Nothing. The last bit of hope in your heart was squeezed out. All you had was yourself now. He wasn’t responding which worried you. First, you had to ensure they didn’t get you. So when they leave, you could go find him; against his command before he left. Wolf always told you to stay on the ship. That’s where it was safer for you. He didn’t have to fret if you got yourself in trouble. You listened to him, knowing it was better to do so.

One last look at the map -the black dots less than a hundred yards away, you started to think on where to hide. Someplace they wouldn’t look for someone, if they were looking for you. That likelihood was extremely low. How would anyone know you’re with Wolf? You’re a random person who went missing.

On Wolfs ship, there are five rooms, not including the cockpit. Its not really a room, but oh well. First to come to mind was the kitchenette. That was quickly marked off the list. There was the cabinets to possible squeeze yourself in. You would have to displace some cooking wear. Anyone with a brain will be able to tell something was wrong in there.

Second on the list was the trophy room. Another place marked off. Unlike the kitchenette, it had no true places to hide away in. Only a few small drawers in Wolf’s desk he uses for his tools.

Next, the bedroom. The bed was large with a lot of blankets, courtesy to Wolf and his ability to hunt. Yet, to smother yourself underneath them all… you didn’t know how long they would the on the ship. You could slowly overheat and die or suffocate and die. Both options weren’t fun sounding. You crossed that one off as well.

At this point, you were running out time and rooms. The hull wasn’t going to offer you much either. It had boxes and crates expertly stacked. They were strapped down, filled with whatever Wolf like’s to haul through space. Again, taking the stuff out to hide inside of the crates would be stupid. These people will notice the items and think ‘let’s check these boxes’.

Last on the list was the sparring room. This was your best choice out of all the places this ship has. It had a couple cubby’s for weapons that were currently empty. Said weapons were out on their respected racks for Wolf to train with. You hoped he was okay. That it was just a fluke on him not answering the comm.

Since the sparring room offered the highest chance of survival, you hopped down from the chair. Three steps from the cockpit’s door, you heard the computer alert to a proximity breach. Shit, they were already outside the ship. Now wasn’t the time to screw around.

Quick, unsteady legs carried you to the second closest door to the right from the cockpit. It opened at your closeness. You skidded to a halt. The doors. They would open for them, besides the outside one. Another way Wolf tells you to say inside, where it was safe. It wasn’t going to be safe for much longer.

Your eyes flickered to the other doors. Terror gripped your heart. If you were to lock only one door, it would announce to the people outside that there was something important in there. Why else would it be lock while the others weren’t? Now, you only had two options: lock all the doors, loosing precious time or leave all the doors, lowering your chances for survival. The former would take time to do, time you don’t know if you had. The latter would offer more time to hide.

It's like you could hear Wolf whisper in your ear: give yourself a fighting chance. The second option was you rolling over and giving yourself to the group of people outside. One you didn’t want to do. Wolf would be so disappointed if he ever found out. Instead, you took the training he’s instilled into you to heart and changed tactics.

Let’s play a little Home Alone.

The kitchenette’s door opened at your proximity with a whoosh. The sight before you offered the same result to hiding, nowhere to truly squeeze yourself into. Your hand slapped against the touchpad next to the entrance of said room. Its metal door slid close at the command. You heard the tall tell sign of the lock clicking into place. One do-

An explosion rocked you off your feet, side slamming into the warm, metal ground. You hissed out in pain and sat up, hand rubbing at the aching area. Your vision swam for a moment, making you shake your head to clear it. What in the world was that?!

Then it hit you. The humans. What were they doing? A grunt escaped you as you returned to your feet, unsteady. By the sounds of it, they hadn’t breached the door yet. That left you with extra time to lock the rest and go into hiding.

With a newfound courage and energy, you raced against a fatal clock towards the next door. It was across the wide hallway, with a concave floor in the middle. Like a small common area for Yautjas to relax while traveling through space. You reached the trophy room gateway and did the same action as before. It locked before you. Another down. Just a couple more…

After quickly finishing with the third door – the bedroom, you sprinted towards the second to last one: the hull. If you got this locked, it would take them even longer to get into here. The main entrance was in there, sealing this do-

Before you could take a third step, a blast forced the ship to pitch. It threw you completely off balance, back bouncing off of the nearest wall. Then, you crashed back onto your formerly injured side. “Wolf!” You cried out, writhing for a long moment on the ground. That was going to heavily bruise later. That you could promise.

Voices. You paused, stilling completely, down your breath. Voices down below. You gasped, eyes wide and scrambled back to your unsteady feet. That door needed to be locked, no matter what now. Injured or not. That was your last of defense before they stormed the upper levels, where you were.

Now, with that on your mind, you uncoordinatedly ran towards the hull’s door. It opened, just like any of the others at your presences. An array of curse words pouring inside of your mind at this. Those former voice grew louder, their boots pounding against the metal floor. The next second, you hit the touchpad far harder than you meant to. The entrance before you closed on your command, sealing the second to last door to you.

As much as you wished to take a second to breathe, you jogged over to the last door. “Get this door open!” someone shouted from the other side when you weren’t even two steps away from it. Already?! How quick were these guys?

When you stepped into the room, about to spin around to close it off, another explosion had you stumbling out of it. Before you know it, you were on the cockpits floor.

Through the pain and splitting headache, you staggered over to the panel. On the other side of the room, smoke encased the hull’s door. A flash of red dots could seen marking the smoke. Guns. They had guns. You don’t know why you thought that be news. If these guys know what they’re doing on a Yautja’s ship, of course they would have weapon. Fear still slapped you in the face. You weren’t your boyfriend. He could survive many shots from a gun. You couldn’t.

Your hand slapped against the touchpad, sealing you from them. For the time being. With how quick they were able to knock down the hull’s door… you didn’t have hope they wouldn’t be able to do the same to the others. You turned around though, eyes scanning over the limited area in here. One entrance, one exit. You stuck in here.

An idea came to mind. A while back, Wolf had to do some work on the navigation after a run in with a large beast on a random planet. He took you under his wing and had you sit next to him as he worked. He didn’t talk and just showed you what he did. It’s not like you could ever do it yourself without his help. You didn’t dare touch any of the important ship’s wiring, in case you screwed something up. He knew what he was doing. You’ll happily sit there, twiddling your thumbs while observing.

The spot you were thinking of was underneath the control console. It offered a hidden spot off to the side, away from sight. You could possibly squeeze yourself behind the panel. The area there was small and tight, even for a human. It would luck to be able to fully close it. Yet, it was better than just standing he-

“Find that pet of his!” The earth stopped spinning; your thoughts came to a screeching halt. What?! They know of you. It had to be you they were talking about. Why are they coming for you? How do they even know?! Your heart felt like it dropped six feet underground. You stumbled backwards, back against the closed door, hand on your sternum. They were looking for you. They have guns. You were going to die. They were going to kill you. Why? Why?! Your brain screamed at you. Tears started to dribbled down your cheeks as all you could was lean heavily against the door. They were going to kill you.

The only thing stopping you from accidentally announcing where you were was the hand over your mouth. It held in the sobs, the cries, the whimpers. What you couldn’t hold back was the tears staining your face.

Wolf was going to come back from his hunt to find you dead, your brain splattering his ship’s cockpit. Why didn’t he answer? Where was he? Why did he leave? He should’ve never come back here. Earth was bad. It held bad memories. It’s going to hold more. You dead. He’s going to go after them but it won’t bring you back. You’re going to die. They’re going to kill you.

One last sporadic drop of hope entered your heart. It might been the adrenaline racing the organ to feel that way or the terror that squeezed it. You’ll never know. You sprinted towards the control console, seeing the comm. channel light still on. “Wolf, please, I need you!” you whimpered, hands grasping the metal so tightly your knuckles turned ghost white. “They’re here. They’re on the ship. They have guns. They know I’m here. They’re looking for me.”

The longer you talked, the more it seemed you were going down a spiral. Big, fat, globs of tears splattered against the console. You sobbed, no longer caring how quiet you were. “They’re going to kill me, Wolf. I’m going to die. I don’t want to die. I need you, please!” you cried to him and fell to your knees. your head bowed, forehead touching the edge of the dashboard.

Your shoulders shook, sobs leaving your mouth freely. They had to have heard you at this point but you didn’t care now. All you wanted was Wolf to be here. Here with his arms around your body and protect you from the calling of death. “I don’t want to die,” you whimpered, eyes blurry with tears. “They’re going to kill me.” You were too caught up to hide. It was too late.

One last blast knocked down your last line of defense. You stood up and spun around at the same time, back leaning heavily on dashboard. Smoke clouded the most likely demolished doorway now. You held your breath, waiting for a bullet to pierce the unknown and strike you.

Instead, it was them that breached the heavy smoke. When their gazes immediately landed on you, all of their weapons faced you. “Hands up!” one shouted and used the barrel of his gun to motioned for you to put them up. Terror washed over your face at the sight. It froze you in the very spot you stood in.

“No, no, no, no,” you mumbled, shaking like a leaf. This is where you die. Wolf was somewhere far away, not answering the call. He’s going to come back to you dead. On the cockpit’s floor of his ship, cold and lifeless.

“Get the fuck on the ground, fucker!” another demanded of you. Move, your brain screamed at you. Move! Do something. Anything. Just move!

You fell to your knees, hands gripped in front of in a plea. “Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me,” you begged of them. Out of the seven of them, you saw the closest one’s eyes crinkle. He was smirking. He stepped towards you, staying a decent distance away. His gun continuously pointed at your head, finger on the trigger. Your body shook, eyes wide as you watched him, unable to move.

Said man chuckled, shoulders shaking with the action. “I won’t if you listen to us very carefully. None of us are afraid to pull the trigger and end you. Leave you here, deader than a doorknob,” he snarked and motioned with his gun for you to get on the ground. “Now, face down, hands behind your back.”

It struck you. They weren’t going to kill you. They were going to take you. You didn’t know what was worse. Being captured or head blown to pieces right here. Captured means they’re probably going to torture you. They’re going to ask about Wolf and when you don’t give in, they’re going to hurt you. You weren’t prepared for that.

“No!” you shouted at him, teeth gritting against one another. A slow, molasses of courage starting to seep into your veins. Wolf would want you to fight. You were going to fight. You weren’t going to let them capture you. You weren’t going to give up Wolf.

A chorus of laughter erupted from the group. The closest barked his laugh before marching up to you and shoving the barrel of the gun into your head. From the headache and bruising side, you hissed. “It think’s he has a choice, boys. What do you say? Show it how wrong it is?” he questioned his fellow patriots and kept the barrel of the gun pressed into your head. You refused to go down so easily.

Similar to yourself, you know where to hurt a man. Your fist curled into a shaky fist as your head turned to stared him in the eye. A newfound fire flickering to life within your eyes.

It was like he read your mind. The bottom of his combat boots met your uninjured side and sent you sprawling across the floor. You cursed as pain flooded your left side.

Before you could get back up, a knee knocked the air out of your lungs and stayed glued to your back. The barrel was returned to the side of your head. “See? Wasn’t that easy to just listen. You must do it for your owner all the time.” Owner? Who is he talking about?

“Get off of me!” you yelled at him and squirmed, doing everything in your power to get back up. The clicking of a gun cocking stopped you in your tracks. “If you kill me, there won’t be anywhere on this planet you can hide. He will kill you.”

“Your owner won’t do anything. You’re just his pet, a plaything to him. He’ll leave you to rot in the cell we put you in.” That former fear began to creep back inside of your heart. Wolf wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t leave you behind.

“You’re an ass,” you growled at him. That only earned you a chuckle from him and the others around. It was weak, nothing more than a mosquito flying around. Said man shoved his knee further into your back, forcing you to cry out. “Get off of me, you cunt!”

“Ohhh, the pet has a mouth of it. I thought that alien would’ve made you learn by now,” the leader – as you’ve named him, taunted before whacking you with the butt of his gun. You gasped, vision blurring for a moment. “Got nothing to say now?” You stayed quiet, not wanting to get hit again. “Look, boys. We did a better job than that alien.”

The others laughed with him. Humiliation flooded your veins. You had no choice but to listen now. They had made it clear they were willing to hurt you to get their way. “Alright, boys, get this thing cuffed and head out. I don’t want to stay here any longer than we need to be.”

That last sentence peaked your interest. They were scared of Wolf. Well, of course, who wouldn’t be? He’s a highly, well trained hunter with hundreds of years of experience underneath his belt. The first time you saw him, you were terrified of him. It’s a natural reaction to him.

Cuffed? They were going to take you. Capture you. Possibly torture you for information about Wolf. Information you’re not willing to give up so easily. Yet, you’re not trained. “No!” you snapped and struggled underneath him. You weren’t going to be taken! You didn’t want to be.

“Oh shut up, pet. I’ve had my fun and you’ve had your moment. We’re leaving with you alive or dead. Doesn’t matter to us. We get paid all the same.” One of the other soldiers entered your personal space and handed the leader a pair cuffs. The latter gave a gruff thanks. He hooked his weapon with a strap across his back. With the newly acquired cuffs, he snatched both of your hands and twisted them behind your back.

Your heart stuttered in its bony cage. Terror entered your veins as the first biting, cold cuff encircled your wrist. “Wolf!” you cried out, voice wavering with that one word. “Please Wolf. They’re going to take me.” You knew he couldn’t hear your pleas. You knew he hadn’t answered your calls. He somewhere far away, hopefully okay. It matter to you that you tried.

Where was he? You wanted him here, with his arms around you, protecting you. You didn’t care if he killed them and embraced you the moment after. You wouldn’t care about the stench or sight. You wanted Wolf right now.

The knuckles of a furled fist connected with the side of your head. You groaned. “Shut up, before you blow your brains out right here.” Before you had a chance, the same cold, bitter feeling of the second cuff encased your other wrist. They had you cuffed and ready to be taken. Why didn’t you just hide? Why were you so stupid sometimes in the face of danger? Why wasn’t Wolf here?

With the help of the second closest soldier – the one that handed the leader a pair of cuffs, they both easily lifted you off of the floor. Each had an arm under your pits and dragged you from the cockpit. The fight inside of you was gone before it had time to bloom. You were captured, injured and crying silently. Tears stained your cheeks, falling to the warm metal floors.

Unbeknownst to you, Wolf heard every word, every cry for help. He heard your pleads for him as he raced back, full speed ahead. His older body aching more than ever to reach you in time. He heard the nasty name they called you. Those pyode-amedha were going to pay for laying a hand on you.

Wolf skidded to a stop in the cockpit. Your pungent odor of fear assaulted him. It was too late. The walls shook with a mighty, deafening roar.

#yautja x you #yautja #yautja x reader #predator x reader #x reader #predator x you #yautja x human #predator x human #alien vs predator #predator

344 notes · View notes

mayakern · 1 year

Note

Hi there, I’m a fellow fashion designer and illustrator and I’ve been really inspired by the clothes you’ve been posting lately. Would you be open to a short conversation where I might pick your brain for some of the things you wish you’d known going into the all-over sublimation fabric printing (also, I’d love to learn more abt how you went about finding a manufacturer)

when you find a manu, make a color test garment to test their color range. i did two versions of this for working with our new manu, a color block skirt and a skirt that was a mashup of a bunch of my designs that use different color palettes and drawing processes, so i could see how the printer handled crisp line work vs textural painting etc etc.

direct to garment printing and sublimation are different processes and your files will need to be different. dtg generally maxes out at 100dpi. sublimation can go to like 1400dpi and will look bad if your files are under 300dpi.

making clothing is expensive. to make a living off of it, you need a good profit margin* and enough inventory that the net sales make you a livable wage. unless you take out a loan (something i would not recommend doing unless you are extremely confident), building up the disposable income to afford that much inventory takes time. for me it took about 3-4 years, and even then it was Tight. it takes time to educate customers about your product and credibility and it takes time to build interest/recognition. everything snowballs. it’s slow as fuck at first grows exponentially.

* generally a good rule of thumb is retail cost should be 3x the manufacturing cost. that way you make enough money that one sale can pay for you to make two of the same type of garment. this is because your revenue needs to be able to cover the cost of ONE new garment + operating costs + taxes + the stuff you need to live like food etc etc, but all of that is too complicated to factor in so that’s why the shorthand is 3x.

as for finding a manu, that’s really not my field. i started off working with companies like artscow and vograce, which are much more approachable for new ppl. after that my wife took over contacting manufacturers and started interfacing with them over alibaba. now we contract a supply chain manager to help us find manufacturers, mostly not thru alibaba. her name is ash and you can contact her at Aaccstudios1@ gmail. com if you’d like to hire her.

this is the most useful information i can think of off the bat. if you have a more specific question, feel free to send an ask, and if you are absolutely set on having a more in depth conversation with me, we can schedule a call but i will charge a small consultation fee bc it would require an amount of preparation on my part that i don’t have a lot of time for.

#ask #faq #manufacturing #long post #art tips #sort of

136 notes · View notes

tibbycaps · 6 months

Note

🎨 for the ask game? hope you have a nice day!

🎨 favourite piece of fanart? link it!

oh gosh it's so hard to choose just one. (you too btw :'D) went thru my rbs and here's a few bangers:

technically an animation and not fan art but this animatic by volcanocraft is my favorite life mcyt animation of all time. the style is just to die for, the song choice is perfect, and while lots of traffic fan art and animations tend to be very dramatic and theatrical (which is totally fine, it rules) this is sort of a rare case where the artist manages to perfectly encapsulate the inherent silliness and comedic effect of using minecraft to tell your story. the goofiness of the little minecraft characters running and jumping around like bugs is perfectly captured which i feel like is a hard vibe to get in art sometimes

fan art that resembles renaissance paintings and even takes inspiration from said paintings is so beloved to me (i minored in art history so its very dear to me). specifically sillyfairygarden and floweroflaurelin come to mind! (thello's life series designs are also very dear to me, as the costumes they design remind me a lot of shakespearian plays, and make me imagine the life series as a shakespearian tragedy being told on a stage. as someone whos url is a shakespeare reference this also scratches a very specific niche in my brain. their bigb design is especially gorgeous and reminds me of 1996 mercutio)

cherri's life series as an rpg series is a banger, it really makes you yearn for the game to be real, it's also nostalgic of a lot of old rpgmaker games i used to play as a kid which is probably why i'm so drawn to it

i LOVE this secret life scar by felix convexsolos because i think the scene of scar standing in the wheat field is one of the unintentionally coolest most cinematic scenes from the life series, the off-putting angle and his stone-cold expression captures his silent rage, unhinged and unpredictable energy in that series so well this double life fan art by ghost3a i'm absolutely obsessed with the colors and expressions, each pairing has different colors and the color choices for each pairing is so telling and the way each piece kind of fades into the next by having a hint of color at the bottom is awesome. i'm a sucker when it comes to bright contrasting colors used to convey emotions/feelings.

this last life mumbo by stackofeggs has always stuck with me because i feel like it captures red life mumbo really well; he's terrifying and dangerous with his end crystals but it also still kind of retains that wet cat energy mumbo always has. he's scary and unstable and fragile just like the end crystals

this bdubs by imflyingfish is SO COOL AND CUTE, the style is so unique and captivating and i love the choice to draw bdubs' building the earth arc as it's honestly the only fan art i think i've seen of that specific secret life moment

i'll end off by mentioning the Common Applestruda W, where i honestly can't even link a specific piece or i'd be here all day. but her color work and compositions are wonderful

#anon #asks #life series #long post

14 notes · View notes

golbrocklovely · 9 days

Text

i'm blocking out the accounts bc i'm not about to draw more eyes to them. funny enough, i went snooping on my own and found both accounts before this ask.

also this is just a warning, i'm running on about two percent battery brain power, so if this doesn't make sense and/or sounds like i'm an asshole, that's why. i'm not trying to be rude to you anon, so please don't think that. i'm just ridiculously tired of this situation and the ppl involved in it.

imma be so forreal, i kinda have to laugh at all of this. first off, both of these accounts are run by teenagers… and it's very obvious. it reads like a jealous little girl's diary.

also i can debunk all of their shit in a heartbeat. half of it is just them saying "see ! malia is a slut who had work done" and all i gotta say to that is… do you say that about amber? shea? stas? just curious. bc they all got work done, and they all have casual sex (most likely) or at the very least have hooked up with colby. so like???? keep the misogyny even if you're gonna go full pick me.

malia had an onlyfans, yes. she did technically lie in her response to a hater who said she had one. however, no one is owed an explanation to if and why she had one. and secondly, this fandom is full of young fans. if she admitted she had one, yall would just call her a creep that's promoting sex to minors or whatever. and clearly if she actually posted anything of her nude, it would be online. bc.. like these losers pointed out, the videos she did of her modelling bikinis for some brand got put on porn sites by creepy dudes. none of them are of her nude tho. it's just her in a bikini which surprise surprise isn't porn.

she got work done but liked a comment that called her a natural beauty….. do these fans really think they ate pointing this out?? she is naturally pretty, she just got some work done. again, would you harp on shea liking a comment that says that? or amber? or stas?? or how about a woman that's wearing makeup or a push up bra??

these fans really think they have her in this gotcha moment when reality is…. all they're doing it pointing out how pathetic they look. yeah babes, you're totally right. malia is a slutty porn star who got work done… and colby STILL decided to date her. you know why? bc he doesn't care. and you do… and yet here you are… still not getting the attention from colby you think you deserve. even if you were the last person on earth colby wouldn't choose you. and for all the hate you have for malia, you basically run a fan account for her since you know so much about her. but yeah… keep calling her a whore or whatever. you're doing such a good job at it lmao

i'll go thru the other ones these bozos pointed out fast:

colby likes his alone time, she made a tiktok saying she likes when guys are obsessive…. those don't even relate, but on top of that she made that vid before she was even DATING HIM

we have no proof malia made him unfollow anyone, they are just jumping to that conclusion

the cheating thing we now know is false

she didn't steal that hair color from amber………. are yall on crack? amber hasn't ever dyed her hair that color?? she uses a wig??? and just bc she wants to dye her hair a similar color doesn't mean malia copied. how would she have even known that?? jesus christ keep the schools open these kids are DUMB

the girls went to coachella a couple years ago or whatever but claimed the one they went to with snc was their first. oH mY gOd ThEy LiEd Or PoSsIbLy FoRgOt??? call the firing squad and line them up in the town square. burn the witches at the stake!!!!

malia called herself a slut and that's proof… she's a slut. sure. yeah. whatever you say, children. yall barely have had sex ed but please inform me how she's a slut. i'd love to hear it.

the girls in general are copying kat/amber. i mean… they literally aren't. they just cut and dyed their hair, two things NEITHER KAT OR AMBER HAVE DONE in a long time/ever. i would say you're grasping at straws but that would require there to be straws.

if you think malia or katelyn are bad ppl for having subscriptions about their lives where they might post their boyfriends, boy do i have news for you about shea and stas.

anything else they said is horseshit and tbh i'm over it. call me when the girls have been found guilty of something other than being kinda annoying and attention seeking on *gasp* the internet, of all places.

#ask #personal #sg ll #cb ll

6 notes · View notes

pinkseas · 11 months

Note

[parasocial bestie] GOOD MORNIMG BESTIE i hope ur having a good trip recently!! dorry i am not in the energy to ughhdgjh Thing Thibnkijg rn idk my brain turned to slush mush spagethi from irl shtuff dis week BUT I MISSH U SM I MISS GETTING MY FINGIES SORE FROM TYPING WALLS OF TEXTS TO U hehe but nawt today.... i just miss u 🥺🥺🥺🥺 am still brainrotting doe but i cant even draw from it i just Think Thoughts. of xiaoloom. of my brainrots n shiz. thinking bout THE BREAKUP XLMI YOU WROTE BEFORE I READ IT ALL i want to respond that so bad grrhhdghh AND I HAVE STUFF TO TALJ ABOUT TOO but nawt today.... one day there will be and i will Slam You with them asks i shwear to u but rn i just miss you i hope youre doijg great today aly 💖💗💖💕💖💓💖💗💖💖💓💖💕💖💓💖💕💖💖💗💖💗💗💖💖💕💖💓💖💗💖💗💖💗

GOODNIGHT BESTIE !!!! ❣️♥️❣️💓💕💓💕💞💞❣️💖❣️❣️💖❣️♥️❣️💖💖❣️💖❣️💓❣️💞💓❣️❣️💖♥️❣️❣️💖❣️💓❣️💞💖💕💖💕💖💕💖💕💓💓❣️💓❣️💖❣️💞 trip is OVER thank fawking god ngl it sucked but i am HOME now so 🥰🥰🥰 no bc tell me why we have the same brain i almost posted abt missing u and thinking abt u not even an hour ago and i was like naurrrrr surely i will not be THAT silly and clingy and yet here we are both missing each other :((((( 🥺🥺🥺🥺♥️💖💕💞💓💞 and also the brains being Mush like i hit my beautiful 45k thank God but i was trying to write more this morning and it felt like swimming thru tar it was NAWT happening i went back to bed instead amen... THE BREAKUP THING IS STILL SO SILLY 2 ME SJSBAJHSHS and omg..... no worries no rush u never Need 2 slam me with asks it will simply happen as it does and when it does ill go 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❣️♥️❣️💕♥️💓💖💞♥️💞💖❣️♥️💞 and when it doesnt and asks r simply us being so silly and talking back n forth like this ill go 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰❣️💕♥️💓💞💖💞💕❣️💕💖 yknow yknow

ILY SO BAD TJANK U i am doing well so far this morning i think gonna try and Get Shit Done 💪💪💪💪💪 and then work blegh but itll b fine I HOPE UR DAY TODSY WAS GOOD AND I HOPE UR NIGHT GOES AMAZING AND WHENEVER U NEXT HAPPEN TO SLEEP I HOPE U SLEEP WELL !!!!! MWAH MWAH MWAH

#parasocial bestie tag

1 note · View note

frostbite-the-bat · 11 months

Text

rambley post idk lol

NOTING STUFF TO MYSELF BC IM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE APPROX DATE WHEN GUZMA BECAME MY NAME IN 2018. THIS IS PERSONAL SO DONT MIND IT IM LIKE INVESTIGATING STUFF USING ONLY STUFF I SENT IN MY OLD PERSONAL DISCORD SERVER BC ALL THE OTHER SERVERS I WAS IN AT THE TIME R GONE... anyways!! this goes into other Guzma Lore As Well because I Have Bad Memory And I Like Looking Back At What I Used To Do

around in 2018, july, when i was on vacation...i was... NOT WELL! MENTALLY! AT ALL! LOWKEY DEPRESSED AS SHIT THERE! a lot of my uh.. past "drama" happened around that time, if you know what i mean. cough... and other than THOSE people i had... not many people to talk to so i said fuck it lets join a furry server! coz yknow im a Furry. (bad idea but whatever)

but WELL a few days BEFORE THAT i? randomly got hyperfixated on team skull/guzma during my general pokemon fixation? i changed my name to guzma for a joke and because i liked him a lot and some of my friends changed their name and icons to "grunt A" "grunt B" "grunt C" and so on. we memed around a bit and i kept this name - and then i joined the furry server. i began talking there a lot i mean i had literally almost 2k messages there in one day i did not leave the room we were staying at all i did that day was chat there and use the pokemon bot there.

thanks to these cool people i met... the name guzma just STUCK. without that server and without those people guzma wouldn't be solidified as my (at least online) name. and WELL. this was even before me accepting myself as trans and nonbinary so LMFAO.

and well i am not sure WHEN i joined the server but i spammed a bunch of team skull memes i stole from tumblr (i wasnt even active here?? im sure the acc i used back then is looong deleted also.) onto that discord server. that was july 17th. but im not sure if that was the date i set guzma as my name for the first time - just my brain rot starting. and i already had some icon edits by the 26th - so i began the inside joke around that time, i assume? not sure? which means i set my name that way there already? LIKE. BY THAT TIME I WAS ALSO DRAWING MYSELF IN GUZMA'S OUTFIT AND SUCH. LIKE. c'mon...

AND! OFFICIALLY BY THE 29TH!! I sent the icon i would use that i KNOW i used on the server a 100%. like when my name got solidified. wouldnt be it without it. so like.. i always say the day is the 29th even if i set the name guzma a while before that... its hard to SAY but i always just say that like... july/august is the Guzma Anniversary.

i know this Heavy Guzma Brainrot also went thru the entire august. then i got into... detroit become human??? then gorillaz which laster 2 whole years. which lead to the creation of this blog. and then its deletion. and then its recreation. yeah. but at that point i was just Guzma.

fun fact, this was like? my first post on my old blog in 2018. i wonder if its still reblogged somewhere on an old gorillaz blog despite my old blog being gone.

not sure why people rbd this its not funny

anyways also speaking of which. wanna know how i used to draw MYSELF. i cant draw myself as Human anymore thats Not Me The Guz Beast but PLEASE LOOK

you can smell the gender identity crisis from them so badly

0 notes

tentacle-stylograph · 1 year

Text

WID: W 30 Nov. - T 6 Dec. '22

T 6 Dec 1.31 pm what i’m doing: setting my calendar up for December is this what i want to be doing: yee :') if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

2.26 pm what i’m doing: ...scrolling old chats with a friend is this what i want to be doing: -sigh- noooooo........ if no, what would i rather be doing: homework. i need to plan out a large drawing. i want to make a digital sketch so it's easy to move parts around and edit them before working on the larger physical version if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: why struggling: i think i got distracted when i went to message myself the paper sketch of the drawing so i could import it to my drawing program. so. just distracted. but my brain is also doing a "oh, you've got this in the BAG. no need to start it yet and fret." which is dumb 'cause it's a big project and it'll take a while and i've still got another class to work on and i'm not even fully enjoying the scrolling thru my friend's messages because i have this project in the back of my head, knowing i need to do it what's my next step: -sigh- i'll set a three minute timer to reblog a very good animation i just rediscovered/check if i've already reblogged it. then i'll--ah. i'll turn on my second laptop and put on a Study with Me in a library and aquatic ambiance

A 3 Dec 12.12 am what i’m doing: removing an image from my desktop; saving it to a personal Pinterest board is this what i want to be doing: sure................. but i really need to get ready for bed. (decided to message a friend a message i've been meaning to send for about a week) if no, what would i rather be doing: same as below. it's just it's tricky right now because i have things all over my bed and it'd be easier for me to organize all that without music being on, but i need the music to keep me going in my momentum. ...okay, deciding right now to *turn on music and keep it on* but probably just clear my bed slower than i would otherwise if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

12.29 am what i’m doing: got caught clearing off my bed, but i was on my computer for quite a bit in the intervening 18 mins. scrolled on Quora for a bit and i forget what else. a moment of Pinterest while uploading a Quora screenshot, but other than that...? -checks- ...-sigh- don't know. maybe moving things on my bed is this what i want to be doing: keep on plugging along. taking some time, but keep going. if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

1.24 am what i’m doing: scrolling a blog's 5.0.5. tag for Villainous posts to reblog is this what i want to be doing: -flops on face- -reluctantly:- nooooooooo... if no, what would i rather be doing: SLEEPIIIIIIIING. I'VE BEEN HUNCHED AT MY LAPTOP FOR MAYBE A HALF HOUR BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING QUICK. WHAT WAS IT? I CAN'T TELL YOU if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: just... -sigh- delete a couple things from desktop then turn off laptop and have a little convo with a bud what's my next step:

10.02 pm what i’m doing: looking at some frames of the WoF Carousel MAP is this what i want to be doing: yee :3 just get off comp soon (turning off comp after making this note) (do it) (no don't click any of your bookmarks) (hide the bookmarks bar) (okay done) (no don't go to tumblr. you just need to turn off your laptop. ...okay you can turn on nuclear mode to cover this ten second process if that will help) (yeeeeee i was having the stuck-ness of "i need to do a thing before doing other thing," like when i end up making a gif spam post or send a friend messages with pictures of creatures. and turning on nuclear mode helped with that. now comp OFF) if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

F 2 Dec 11.34 pm what i’m doing: scrolling tumblr is this what i want to be doing: nooooooooo if no, what would i rather be doing: getting ready for bed. -groans and flops around- if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: don't wannnnnaaaaaaaaaaaa. wanna siiiiiiit. uuuuuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh what's my next step: uuuuuuuuggggghhhhh. music then change into pj's then music onto headphones >__>

11.53 pm what i’m doing: finally standing up to get on my pj's + checking my messages to see if my trainer replied about tomorrow is this what i want to be doing: yeeeeeee if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

H 1 Dec 10.38 pm what i’m doing: sitting on toilet scrolling tumblr is this what i want to be doing: uuuuuuuuugh. yes-but-actually-no if no, what would i rather be doing: brushing teeth then sleppin' [sic] if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

10.56 pm what i’m doing: flossin' mah teeths is this what i want to be doing: yeeee!!! ^v^ if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

11.15 pm what i’m doing: re-admiring a Villainous AU comic lol is this what i want to be doing: shore! but go to sleep soon. maybe read 'til my next check-in timer if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

what i’m doing: reading The Invisible Man :3 is this what i want to be doing: yeeeee 😌 if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step: time to get to sleep now, though. hum. need to put a pen in--oh, it's already in the car. well, need to put a pen in my backpack. then say prayers and sleep

W 30 Nov 12.01 am what i’m doing: plugging in my phone before going to drink water, change into pj's, put on headphones, then brush teeth is this what i want to be doing: ye :') if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

12.18 am what i’m doing: brushing my retainer!! :3 is this what i want to be doing: yoyoyoyoyoyo yessir yessir if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

12.37 am what i’m doing: typing a rough draft message to send to some peeps for help on getting me diagnosed with ADHD is this what i want to be doing: if no, what would i rather be doing: if struggling to do the above, why, and why do i want to do the above in the first place: what's my next step:

#wid

0 notes

souyaszn · 3 years

Text

BIG SHOT! ⁂ [ ryūguji ken ]

18+ content! minor, ageless and blank blogs will be blocked if they interact with this work.

﹡dibble in this n’ drabble in that!

﹡synopsis: strength kink came thru and went bonkers man. i’m so sorry that i’m not sorry.

﹡wc: 927 words.

﹡includes: use of the word cunt. strength kink. dubcon if u squint. mating press. creampies. implicit mentions of squirting. implicit mention of multiple orgasms. one mention of bruising. overall messy sex. man folds you like a pretzel what did you expect to happen?

﹡xtra! this was gonna be titled baki bc i was listening to the trippie redd song, also thought of how baki and ken are both dense as shit, but then big shot by guapdad 4000 played and i said YEAAAAAAAAAAA. and then i got carried away. y’all know how my head dizzies when ken’s involved. btw i started off strong and then my brain started farting so if it sucks near the end have mercy 😮‍💨

﹡tags! @nozomiasl @asilentshout @kawargi @poutsies @kontentious

thinking about the way ken naturally manhandles you. has no idea that the strength and height he’s been using to his advantage since he was twelve years old subconsciously shows its face in the bedroom. on you.

he s w e a r s he’s being gentle when your legs are flailing and your feet hit his chest, a reflex reaction of your body trying to accommodate to him and his heavy cock that tries (correction: trying, succeeding) to bully its way through your walls by its fat tip. just wants to feel the bite of heaven your pussy holds again, craves the sensation of all of his length dragging and pulsing along the velvet grip that massages his cock that’s a guarantee with every stroke, but you won’t. let. him. not even when he asks you nicely, when a low “open up, baby. wanna fuck you properly,” is met with a resistant whine of, “s’too big, ken. can’t take it.”

an answer that’s just… absurd to him. you’ve taken him hundreds, no thousands (maybe millions) of times before, now’s no different.

intends to prove that to you when his thumb touches the glistening skin on your clit, rubbing pressured circles into the nub that has you keening, your pussy weeping and your feet kicking him again, the heel pressing on the pec covering his heart, pedicured toes brushing against his nipple.

but you’re open, just like he knew you could be, and he’s sliding in deeper— every inch of him welcomed, celebrated even with a pulse of wet that has his jaw clenching so hard the teeth grind— so close to bottoming out until you wail, lower limbs flailing blindly until they catch him in the abdomen, right where his scar was. the strength of your kick revives a pain ken thought was long dead, curses tumbling out from his lips one after the other.

strike three.

strong ken whose arms hook beneath the back of your knees to gently redirect your legs up to your chest in a mating press, has your ankles centimeters away from dangling under your ears as earrings. ken who doesn’t realize that his entire body and all of its weight—rippling and tensing muscles flush against you—now looms over you intimidatingly, caging you between him and the mattress, rendering you incapable of evading him.

ken who, with newfound albeit manufactured freedom, bottoms out in seconds, nestling himself to the peak of your pussy and laying a figurative flag there. leaves it there when he draws back, pulling out until he’s almost completely out of your addictive cunt; and shifts its placement whenever he drives back into you, consistently moving the goalpost with every thrust.

ken who, when you cry out, is there to swallow your moans and steal your breath in sloppy clashes of lips, teeth and tongue. your muffled whimpers only give him energy to keep fucking you stupid like this; which is why he only pulls away when he’s out of breath and panting. just makes it easier for him to reset, using those precious seconds to return the spit he took from you during your kisses, combined with his to rest on the back of your tongue in a fat glob of white that disappears as quickly as it landed when you swallow it eagerly, tongue lolling out as if to beg for more.

ken, who stretches your body and your pussy at the same time, cotton candy pink enclosed around his girth like a glove. whose balls slap a percussion beat against your twitching clit whenever he pistons his hips, sop and squelch of your cunt clearly audible regardless of how he’s making you wear your feet as earmuffs.

ken, who knocks into your cervix like it’s in his way and he wants it to move, cock imposing as it curves its way up to, beyond and away from that gummy spot that has your toenails scratching the headboard, and right up to your womb.

ken who couldn’t give a single, solitary fuck about the slick sliding down his shaft and onto his balls (and the sheets), the wetness that’s polishing the inside of your thighs and covering your ass, or the film of white cream that decorates his shaft. he’d already made you cum more times than you can count and squirt for half of that. what he’s focused on now is him, chasing his high as he’s pounding you into the mattress, practically molding the shape of your body into the sheets.

you’re a whole new person by then, begging in soprano squeals for him to go deeper, fuck you harder, stuff you full. ken, who by default, becomes your genie the way he’s exceeding your wishes, promising to do just as you ask and then does that when he thrusts himself all the way up to the hilt. leaves no spot untouched as heaps of his cum coats your walls in hot white streaks, slight grind of his hips sending it right back up your womb the same time you clamp down on him, greedily swallowing the load he’s graciously feeding you, moaning delirious thanks and praises all the while.

ryuguji ken, whose struck by short term memory loss the next day when he sees you limping, genuinely stunned when he offers to eat you out and you all but run out of his arms, complaining that you’re sore and swollen.

was he really that rough with you last night?

#ken ryuguji x reader smut #ryuguji ken x reader smut #ken ryuguji smut #ken ryuuguji x reader smut #ken ryuuguji smut #draken smut #draken x reader smut #ryuuguji ken smut #tokrev smut #tokyorev smut #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x reader smut #（ ⌖ ）— draken.

2K notes · View notes

fortheloveofwonderland · 3 years

Text

A Memory Locked In The Heart - Spencer Reid x fem! Reader

A/N - Requested by the lovely @overduelibrarybooks I hope this was the kind of thing you were looking for!

Find my masterlist here.

My taglists are open and requests are open.

Requested: Yes l No

Request: "could u ever write a spencer reid x reader where reader def works for the cia but more as a translator who’s kinda forced into doing agenty things in order to gather intel and on a mandated break she finds out the UNSUB before the team does so she uses herself as bait, and shoots the guy all very badass fashion n then gets interrogated bc ms girl just shot him coldblood and halfway thru she recognizes spencer bc her mother and his mom lived in the same care facility??? idk sorry my mom has paranoid too so it just hits different but u don’t have to write this if u don’t want to i love ur writing <3"

CW: disclaimer: I know next to nothing about the CIA and what they investigate so please go easy on me here. This is all made up so hopefully it makes some kind of sense. Mentions of violence and sex work, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, some swears. Mentions of drug use and overdose. Spanish used towards the end is from Google Translate so I apologise if it isn’t completely accurate. Italics indicate flashbacks.

Plot: Eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.

WC: 5.3K

—————————————————————

How did I end up here?

That was a question you kept asking yourself as you rolled into your third hour of sitting in that cold, dimly lit interrogation room at the FBI headquarters in Quantico, Virginia.

Well you supposed you’d have to go back to the beginning to truly work that out.

The CIA and FBI joint task force for a country wide sex trafficking ring they believed to be operating out of DC.

When your team at the CIA had started investigating it was estimated that the ring had close to a hundred women who had been abducted and forced into the sex industry.

A lot of women were believed to have been taken trying to cross the border. Your job as a translator had involved spending a lot of time in Mexico, helping interview witnesses and family members who didn’t speak English.

The FBI involvement had come when women believed to have been part of the trafficking ring started turning up dead.

At last count they were up to twenty bodies. The Behavioural Analyst Unit had given their profile of the man they believed to be running the show.

White male in his mid to late forties. Bilingual. Possibly born in Mexico or an area surrounding the border but grew up in DC, they assumed based on his knowledge of the area. He’s attractive, charming and has a good level of education, he’d need to be able to charm the women into trusting him. He doesn’t have a full time job because he wouldn’t have time for one. All his time and focus goes on his girls. He was tech savvy, incredibly so, he’d have to be, to be able to set up the network on the dark web which enabled his customers to pay for his services.

It hadn’t been going well. Bodies kept dropping and the task force was no closer to catching the person responsible.

This went on for six months. Everyone was exhausted. You kept hitting brick wall after brick wall. It was demoralising.

Your boss had called for mandated time off. You’d all argued but she had been absolutely adamant. You’d all been working yourselves to the bone and she didn’t want you burnt out entirely.

You’d argued but your words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Can I get you a glass of water or something?”

The voice startled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to see the lanky, messy haired agent who called himself Doctor Reid, sticking his head through the door.

“Is coffee an option?”

He smiled brightly at you, a smile you swear you’ve seen before.

“Coffee is always an option.” He told you. “How do you take it?”

“Strong and black. Please.”

“I’ll be right back.”

With that the door closed leaving you to your thoughts once more.

There was something so familiar about the Doctor. His dark yet sparkling eyes, his awkward smile and the way he dressed. You couldn’t place it. But there was definitely something about him that stirred some memory buried deep in your brain. You just weren’t sure what it was.

He returned a few minutes later, bringing your coffee into the room and placing it on the table in front of you.

“Hopefully you won’t be stuck here too much longer. It’s just standard procedure.” he spoke sweetly, his voice stirring the hidden memory.

“Yeah I know. I get it.” you sighed as you spoke, wrapping your hands around the coffee. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” he smiled before he started backing out of the room. You wished you could ask him to stay because you felt so much more at ease with him around. But you knew you couldn’t.

He turned to you in the doorway.

“You look cold in that.” He smiled a little sadly at you.

You’d forgotten about your outfit choice. No self respecting CIA agent dressed like you were right now.

“I guess I am a little.” You shrugged.

Spencer instantly shrugged his blazer off of his shoulders and laid it in front of you on the table.

“Thank you Doctor Reid.” you spoke again before he disappeared out the door.

“Goodbye Agent Y/L/N.”

The door closed, his voice reverberating in your ears, dragging you into a long forgotten memory.

As you slipped his jacket on, your eyes fluttered closed, his scent wafting up your nose.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Spencer. Spencer Reid.”

“Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your eyes shot back open, a frown on your face.

“Spencer?” you muttered under your breath. “Spencer Reid.”

Where had you pulled that name from? And why did it feel oddly connected to Vegas?

You tried to push the thought away, you already had enough on your mind. There were much more pressing things to deal with than a vague memory from your hometown an undetermined amount of time ago.

***

You’d been instructed to switch off. Your time off should be used to recoup, relax and not to think about the case.

Easier said than done you thought.

Before you’d left the office on your mandated leave you’d taken photocopies of some files and slipped them into your bag. You knew you’d be in trouble if you were caught but you couldn’t help yourself. You wouldn’t be able to relax with this case still open.

As far as you were aware the BAU was still working on it but it provided you little comfort. In your time with the CIA you’d never gotten to be involved so heavily in a case. Your skills were mostly utilised in interview capacities and then you were sidelined.

You’d never had the privilege to work on a joint task force or investigate a crime so brutal.

You felt personally invested in this case. You thought if you could just find that one missing puzzle piece you could crack this case wide open.

And then you’d found it. The golden ticket. The smoking gun. The missing piece.

It had taken five days of your leave and copious amounts of coffee but you’d connected the dots no one else had.

You knew how to draw the unsub out. And you were going to do it tonight.

***

“Let’s start again from the beginning shall we?” Agent Rossi linked his fingers together on top of the table as he looked across at you, still slowly sipping your coffee.

“Oh goody.” You sighed. “Could Agent Jareau not fill you in what I’ve already told her?”

“Humour me.” The old man shrugged.

You didn’t have any ill will against him. Far from it. You were actually a big fan of David Rossi. But you were sick and tired of being treated like a criminal.

“Tell me how you managed to work out how to find him.”

You took another long sip of the coffee.

“All the pieces were there, they just hadn’t been put into place.”

“And how did you piece them together?”

“There was a pattern to where the women had been last seen. It was a guess more than anything. A lucky guess.”

“And the pattern was?”

You sighed in frustration.

“As I told agent Jareau,” you sipped your coffee. “The bars they were last seen in all had ties to Mexico. I’m not a native to DC but I know the area like the back of my hand. They were all either Mexican owned, had a Mexican name or were previously establishments such as Mexican restaurants. I made an educated guess that he frequented places such as these looking for his targets. I just got lucky I picked the right one.”

***

You felt incredibly exposed, but you supposed that was the point.

If you were going to get this guy's attention, you had to do this right.

It was a long shot. Just because Western’s bar was known for its famous tacos did not mean it would be the place he chose to pick up girls.

You just had to hope.

You wore a skimpy skirt that barely covered your ass, knee high boots and a crop top that accentuated your assets.

Your firearm was hidden in your left boot.

Your outfit garnered a lot of looks as you headed through Westerns towards the bar.

You felt men’s eyes on you from every angle, making you feel extremely self conscious. But you needed to keep your cool, exude confidence.

If your guy was here he needed to see you shine.

You ordered a soda to keep your head clear and sat at a table over the far side of the bar. From there you had a good view of the entrance and most of the room. And more importantly, the room had a view of you.

Three hours you sat there nursing your soda. It was a huge stab in the dark, you weren’t really surprised.

You finished your drink and headed out onto the cool DC street.

You made it five steps before you felt a presence behind you.

Just as you were about to turn, something covered your mouth.

You struggled against a pair of strong arms.

A smell wafted up your nose seconds before you lost consciousness.

Chloroform.

***

“Why didn’t you tell your unit chief before you went in?”

“Because I thought it was a long shot.” And because she would have been furious I was working the case.

“So you chose to use yourself as bait?”

“Yes.” You shrugged nonchalantly.

“Do you know how dangerous that could have been?” Rossi raised an eyebrow at you.

You had to refrain from rolling your eyes.

“Yes agent Rossi, I’m well aware. But I had a lead and I wasn’t going to ignore it.” You pulled Doctor Reid’s jacket tighter around your scantily clad body.

You caught his scent again. Coffee. Old books. A hint of peppermint.

Another long shut off memory wormed it’s way to the surface.

“So are you here visiting someone?”

“Yeah.” You smiled sadly. “My mom.”

“Oh.” He returned your sad smile. “Me too.”

“Agent Y/L/N?”

You were brought back by Rossi’s concerned voice.

“Hmm?”

“I said, what happened next? You were chloroformed and then what?”

You shook your head, your mind clouded.

“Can we take a break? I could really use some air.”

Rossi sighed with a small nod.

He stood from his chair and motioned you to follow him.

You got some odd looks from his fellow agents as he led you to the elevators. They all recognised what you were wearing as Spencer’s jacket.

You followed Rossi into the elevator and he pressed the button for the ground floor.

“Agent Rossi, can I ask you a strange question?” You asked as the doors closed.

He gave you a curious look.

“I suppose.”

“Doctor Reid. As in Spencer Reid?”

“The one and only.” Rossi frowned unsure what you were getting at.

“Where is he from?”

Rossi’s frown deepened, not sure he should tell you such things about his team. But you were an agent and you didn’t pose a threat to the team.

“Vegas I believe.”

Vegas. Of course.

“Ok.”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” You chewed your lip. “I think I might have known him.”

“Oh?”

You wished you hadn’t opened your mouth. This was not the time or place.

“I’m probably wrong. Just forget I said anything.”

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. As you stepped out you pulled Spencer’s collar to your nose and sniffed it.

No you weren’t wrong.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Hi again.” You smiled at the lanky man, Spencer you’d met a few days ago. “How’s your mom?”

“Still angry at me.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and stubbed the toe of his shoe on the floor.

“She came in recently?”

“Yeah a few months ago. I turned eighteen and I was able to have her put into care.” He blanched, clearly feeling guilty for his decision.

“Do you want to grab a coffee?”

“Uhm sure.” He shrugged.

He followed you through to the day room. It was late and there were only a few patients inside and a few nurses milling around.

You got two cups of coffee from the machine and the two of you sat at a table together.

“Do you mind me asking what’s wrong with your mom?” You dared as you slid him the drink.

He sighed heavily, gnawing on his bottom lip as though his life depended on it.

“She’s a paranoid schizophrenic.” He spoke clinically, words he’d had to say too many times in his life. It was as though he’d distanced himself from it. Like he was giving a patient a diagnosis rather than talking about his own mother.

“Mine too.” You gave him a wry smile. You had something in common, just not something you would like to have in common.

“How long has your mom been here?”

“Three years. She got really bad and my dad couldn’t take care of her anymore. She’s been doing much better since she moved in here.”

“That’s good.” Spencer nodded. “I hope my mom realises I did this for her. For her well being. At the moment she’s just so...angry.”

You reached across the table and placed your hand on top of his. He seemed a little startled by the physical touch but you didn’t move your hand.

“This is the best place for her. I assume from what you said earlier your dad isn’t in the picture?”

He used his free hand to sip his coffee with a sad shake of his head.

“He left when I was ten. He couldn’t handle mom's illness.”

You gave his hand a small squeeze.

“I can’t imagine what it was like for you to have to look after her by yourself. It was hard enough with my dad there. Really makes you grow up fast.��

“It really does.” He agreed. “I’m not sure I ever got to be a kid.”

“I know that feeling.”

After that you spent hours chatting about anything and everything until way into the night. It wasn’t until a nurse came and asked you politely to leave that you realised how late it was.

“I’ll probably see you around?” You spoke as you stepped outside together.

“Maybe. In a few weeks I’m heading out of state. I’m working on a PhD.” He didn’t want to tell you it was actually his second PhD.

“Oh. Ok.” You tried to hide the disappointment from your voice.

Despite the circumstances you’d enjoyed talking to someone like minded, someone who understood. You didn’t have anyone else your own age you could talk to about this kind of thing.

“Maybe we could exchange numbers?” You blushed a little.

“I don’t have a cellphone.” He shrugged.

“Oh.”

“It’s not an excuse.” He sensed you didn’t believe him. “I’m not so into technology. I don’t even have email.”

Normally you would have thought it was just a bad excuse to get out of seeing you again but the look on Spencer’s face told you he was being genuine.

“Ok.” You gave him a shy smile. “Well maybe I’ll see you again before you leave.”

“I hope so.” His eyes sparkled as he looked at you on the dark street.

There was an air between you, some kind of thick tension but you didn’t know what it meant.

“If I don’t see you again,” you spoke trying to ignore whatever it was. “It was really good to meet you and I hope your mom gets used to the facility.”

“You too.” He smiled so genuinely at you, it made your heart skip a beat.

And then you went your separate ways.

***

“Ok, so what happened next?” Rossi wasted no time once you were back in the interrogation room.

“Well I blacked out after I was chloroformed so excuse me if I don’t remember.” You gave him a sarcastic smile.

“What’s the next thing you do remember?” He reworded his question.

“I woke up in a large basement. It was gritty and dingy. And there were other women there too.”

“How many?”

“At least twenty.” You sighed letting your mind travel back to the basement you never wanted to go back to. Not even in your mind.

***

You woke with a start, your head pounding. You gasped for air as though you’d been drowning.

You blinked your eyes trying to adjust to the dark room you found yourself in.

It was cold and damp and you could hear a pipe dripping in the distance.

You tried to roll over but your arm wouldn’t budge. You were met by a loud clanking sound when you tried.

You tugged your arm, hearing the same sound and being met with a sharp pain in your wrist.

“Good luck.” A woman’s voice scoffed. “They don’t come loose.”

You blinked a few more times, looking over to your left arm. There was a heavy metal cuff right around your wrist that was attached to a metal bed frame.

That’s when you realised you were laying on a small cot on top of a ratty, itchy blanket. You were still dressed, thank god.

You suddenly remembered your firearm concealed in your boot. You patted your left calf and sure enough you felt the hard weapon still inside.

That was something at least.

Oversight on their part.

You remembered the voice you’d heard before and turned as much as you could with your arm cuffed to take in the rest of the room.

There were at least forty other cots close together lining the walls, with at least half of them containing the body of other women.

The voice you’d heard belonged to a woman in the cot next to you. She gave you a smile but it didn’t reach her eyes.

Her eyes were broken.

“Hi,” you croaked. “I’m Y/N.”

“Delilah.” Her accent was Spanish. You were sure Delilah wasn’t her real name either.

“How long have you been here?”

She sighed, playing with a strand of curly black hair.

“What month is it?”

“September.”

“Oh.” She frowned. “Not that long then. I’ve been here since July.” She looked confused as though that couldn’t be long enough.

“Delilah?” You narrowed your eyes on her. “What year do you think it is?”

“2018…” she saw your face drop and knew instantly it was no longer 2018.

“Oh gosh.” You felt for her, tears welling in your eyes. “It’s 2020.”

“Oh.” Her face fell. “Wow.”

“It’s ok.” You lowered your voice. “I’m CIA. I’m going to get us out of here. I promise I’ll keep you safe.”

***

“Delilah.” Rossi opened the file in front of him. “Was that Roberta Suez?”

He pulled out a photograph and slid it across the table. You averted your gaze.

“Yes and please I don’t need to see it, I was there.”

“How did she end up in hospital fighting for her life?”

“You know how.” You huffed. “Look I’m starting to get fed up with this now.” You folded your arms. “Carlos Ramirez was a sick son of a bitch. If I hadn’t done what I did he would have killed all those women. I don’t regret what I did.”

“How did she end up in hospital?” He repeated.

“Good lord.” You grumbled. “I’ll talk but I don’t want to talk to you.”

Rossi narrowed his eyes on you.

“No? But I’m so compassionate.” He spoke sarcastically.

“I won’t say another word unless it’s to Reid.” You looked up to the two way mirror. You didn’t know why but you had a feeling he was there.

Sure enough it was barely twenty seconds before the door opened and Doctor Reid himself stepped in the room.

“I got this Rossi.” Spencer told the older man who stood up with a shrug.

Rossi left the room while Spencer took the seat he’d been occupying.

Did he remember you? It had been close to twenty years since you’d last seen each other. Had it not been for the olfactory memory that struck you when you put on his jacket you might never have remembered him.

But you knew the rest of his team was behind the two way glass, or at least some of them were so it didn’t seem an appropriate time to ask such things.

“So agent Y/L/N,” he smiled softly at you. “Can you please tell me how Delilah ended up in hospital?”

“You already know the answer to that Doctor but since you asked so nicely,” you leant your elbows on the table, entwined your fingers and rested your chin the little bridge you’d created. “She had a drug overdose. But you and I both know it wasn’t her who administered the drugs.”

“And who did?”

“I did.”

Your words hung in the air between you and Spencer. He knew the answer, the whole team did. You’d already told Agent Jareau everything.

This was a huge waste of time.

“I administered the drugs because he told me if I didn’t he would kill me. I needed to stay alive so I could save those women.”

“Who said he would kill you?”

“I don’t know his name.”

“It wasn’t Ramirez?”

“No.” You shook your head. “If it was Ramirez I would have shot him. But it must have been one of his right hand men.”

“How would you know that? You’d never met Ramirez correct?” Spencer had a soft tone to his voice which made his line of questioning easier than Agent Jareau’s.

“I’m not a profiler but I’ve been to enough seminars over the years. He didn’t fit the bill. He was young, scatty, he didn’t strike as much fear into the other women as I thought the boss would. I made an educated guess and I was right. If I’d shot at him I would have blown my chance at getting Ramirez.”

***

“Shit shit shit!” You pulled yourself as close to Delilah’s cot as possible with your restraint. “Delilah, keep breathing, try to breath. Fuck I am sorry.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks, the empty needle you’d been made to inject in her vein between your cots on the floor.

He’d held a gun to your head and said he would shoot you if you didn’t do it. You didn’t think he was bluffing.

“It happens a lot.” A woman opposite spoke up. “You’ll soon find out. If she wakes up she’ll have the pleasure of returning the favour.” She gave you an almost manic grin.

If she wakes up. It was the if you were having the issue with.

“Who’s in charge around here?”

She shrugged.

“Don’t know his name. Big guy. Tattoos. Mustache. You can’t miss him.”

“Does he come down here often?”

Again she shrugged.

“Being down here you have a way of losing track of time.” She clicked her tongue. “But he’ll be here for you later. He has to test his new girls.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Test?” You swallowed, pretty sure you knew what she meant.

“He can’t very well expect you to make him money if he doesn’t know how good you are.”

Oh god.

Your heartbeat raced. No, it was not going to come to that. You were a CIA agent and you were armed.

It was not going to come to that.

***

Spencer’s face paled a little at your words. You hadn’t told Agent Jareau that part.

“He was going to...he didn’t…”

“No.” You cut him off, pushing the memory back down. “I had a gun, remember.”

You offered him a wry smile.

“So you know what comes next.”

“I’d like you to tell me.”

The way he said it was more like he was a therapist than an FBI agent. As though he wanted you to tell him so you could get it off your chest, unburden yourself, rather than for interrogation purposes.

“Ok.” You nodded. “He came for me later that night. And that’s when it happened.”

***

“Ahh look at you.”

A deep, Spanish voice woke you.

Your eyes fluttered open and landed on a strong, tattooed man with a mustache standing over your cot.

This must be him.

“Tan hermosa.”

So beautiful.

You tried not to shudder.

You sat up wiggling your legs in your boots to make sure you could still feel your firearm. You could.

“Su nombre es Rosa.”

Your name is Rosa.

Guess again.

“Su nombre es Y/N.”

“Tú hablas español?”

You speak Spanish?

“Si.”

“Eres perfecta.” He grinned menacingly. “My clients will love you.”

He reached in his pocket and fished out a key chain. He reached over you and unlocked your cuff.

You rolled your wrist to try and get your blood circulating again.

“On your feet.”

You complied and stood up. Your legs were shaky.

He grasped your wrist, hard enough so you couldn’t wriggle free but not hard enough to leave a mark. He started dragging you across the room.

With his free hand he undid the four locks on the large steel door and pulled your through it. Once on the other side he took care to lock them all again, keeping a firm grasp on you the whole time.

You were dragged down a long, narrow corridor towards another steel door, this one with just one lock on.

He slid the key in and opened it, pulled you inside and locked it behind him.

The room was much smaller than the one you’d been held in and only housed a single cot.

He licked his lip as he looked at you. His large, thick fingers stroked your cheek and you had to try and hide your disgust.

“En la cama. Ahora.”

On the bed. Now.

You had to pick the opportune moment. You had to plan this just right. You had no doubt he had a gun on him so if you faltered even slightly, he would kill you.

“Qué tal esto.”

How about this.

You made a show of licking your lips and then dropping to your knees in front of him.

“Whoa, feisty. I like it.” He grinned, his meaty hands going to his belt buckle.

Yes. Right where you wanted him.

While he was fumbling with his belt, you reached your hand back into your left boot, drawing your gun in one swift move.

You head butted him in the crotch, sending him stumbling backwards, crying out in pain.

“Mierda!” Shit. “Usted puta!”

You whore!

You were on your feet in a second, your gun trained on him.

“You will never hurt another woman again.” You spat, furious tears suddenly streaming from your eyes.

He looked up at you, his mouth opened to speak.

But the words didn’t come out as your bullet hit him between the eyes.

“Who’s the puta now?”

***

“I would say,” Spencer chewed his lip. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank god.

“Thank you.” You smiled softly. “And I did. If I hadn’t shot him, who knows how many other women would have died.”

Spencer pushed his chair back and stood up.

“Just so you know, we got word from the hospital a little while ago. Roberta Suez, Delilah, is going to be just fine.”

“Oh thank god.” You felt tears brimming your eyes.

He opened the door and turned back to you.

“Are you coming?”

“I can leave?”

“You were never under arrest.” He smirked at you.

You couldn’t help but laugh.

You got up from the chair and Spencer motioned you out of the room.

“I’ll walk you out.” He showed you across the bullpen towards the elevators. There was an awkward air between the two of you.

Did you say anything? It didn’t seem as though he remembered you, was it worth reminding him?

He motioned you into the elevator first and he followed, pressing the button.

The elevator started its descent.

Time was running out.

“So uhm…” Spencer turned to you and turned too. “How’s your mom?”

A smile broke out on your features.

“I didn’t think you remembered me.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed. “I recognised you the second you walked in.”

“It’s been twenty years.” You laughed.

“Eighteen years, seven months.” He corrected you. “But I could never forget your face.”

You blushed a little, averting your gaze.

“My moms doing ok. Thanks for asking. How’s your mom?” You looked back at him.

“Recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.” He told you sadly.

“Oh gosh I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok. These things happen.” He shrugged. “Made it to thirty without having a schizophrenic break but now I have to wait until I’m older to find out if I’ll develop Alzheimer’s.”

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped out, Spencer close behind.

“I really am sorry Spencer.”

“It’s ok.” He shrugged. “Is your mom still at Bennington? I used to see her when I went to visit my mom but I moved her out a little while ago.”

“Yeah she’s still there. She likes being close to my dad.”

You both hovered by the exit, not ready to say goodbye.

“Can I take you for coffee? If you don’t have anywhere else to be.” Spencer blushed as he spoke.

“I’d like that. A lot actually. But I’d really like to shower and change out of this getup.” You laughed. “How about dinner?”

“Dinner sounds perfect.” He grinned at you.

You gave him a smile and turned to leave but before you made it to the door Spencer spoke again.

“Y/N,” he called your name, his voice cracking a little. “You uh...you forgot something.”

You turned to face him curiously.

He walked closer to you and without a second thought, placed his hands on your face and kissed you.

For a second you stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

But after a few moments you wrapped your arms around his neck and opened your mouth to deepen the kiss.

When the kiss ended you were both smiling at one another.

“What was that for?” You asked softly.

“Oh you know…” he shrugged with a coy smile. “Just something that needed to be done.”

“I’ll meet you back here in a few hours.” You told him, touching his chest briefly.

“Ok.”

“Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.” He croaked.

And with that you sauntered out the doors but not out of his life.

***

Las Vegas, Nevada - 1999

“Spencer?” You’d only made it a few paces away from Bennington before you stopped in your tracks, calling his name. “You uh...you forgot something.”

He turned to face you curiously.

You walked closer to him and without a second thought, placed your hands on his face and kissed him.

He stood frozen, in shock of what was going on.

It was just a brief kiss, Spencer was too confused to do anything but stand there dumbly.

“Wh-what was that for?” He swallowed.

“Just something that needed to be done.” You smiled. “Bye Spencer Reid.”

“Bye Y/N Y/L/N.”

And with that you sauntered back down the street, hoping that one day, the universe would lead you back into each other’s lives.

—————————————————————

Taglist (let me know if you would like to be added) -

@muffin-cup

@andiebeaword

@mggsprettygirl @measure-in-pain

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #david rossi #jennifer jareau #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x fem!reader

773 notes · View notes

wp-blaze · 1 day

Text

Stepping Out on the Waves

So many of you have been following my health journey for sometime now…you’ve covered me with encouragement, support and prayer and celebrated my wins and victories with me. And I want to thank you so much!! It’s an honor to get to share my story and to hopefully be an encouragement as well…because we are […]

21 notes · View notes

softinkshadows · 3 years

Text

Shingeki no Kyojin Astrology: sun-moon-rising combinations

I was looking around tumblr for detailed astrology speculations of my fave anime characters, but there aren't that many! Being q well-versed in astro myself, i thought why not do my own version (very spoiler-free, don’t worry)! I followed the birth dates given by isayama:

Eren Jaeger - Aries sun, Scorpio moon, Cancer rising Aside from the fact that he can be hotheaded and impulsive, Eren's feelings of vengeance run deep and explosive. Remember that time he was chained to the bed after the attack on trost, and his eyes were wild with the need to violently eradicate all titans? He's so tenacious and emotionally stubborn too (a Scorp moon trait) to the point of being closed off from everyone else, especially towards the end where he seems to take the weight of the world's burden on his own shoulders. And all for the sake of protecting his community and ensuring the safety of his friends for the rest of their lives. His comrades and family are his motivation. This is his Cancer rising steering his life.

Mikasa Ackerman - Aries sun, Aquarius moon, Aries rising "Look that moody brat is running off on her own again." Mikasa is similar to Eren in her impulsiveness and determination, but different in two ways- what they aim to protect and their extent of fearlessness. Eren is aware of his own weaknesses and helplessness, but Mikasa's amazing physical prowess makes her act without any hesitation at all. She's hella fierce and driven to keep herself in shape too, doing all those sit-ups and chopping firewood post-injury. I think she deserves a double Aries! An Aries rising means a Libra descendant too, which is reflected her whole-hearted devotion in her close partnerships (Eren and Armin). Her aquarius moon really shines thru with her stoic independence, focus and perseverance.

Armin Arlet - Scorpio sun, Virgo moon, Pisces rising He's the brain of the 104th cadet corps, and is second to Erwin in terms of strategy! An intelligent planner with low self-esteem often found second guessing his own analytical abilities, Armin is a true blue Virgo moon. His emotional self stands out the most from the main three protagonists - Eren & Mikasa mostly express anger and desperation, whereas Armin is usually shrouded in fear and worry. He's a very soft bb, hence the Pisces rising, not to mention he gets so dreamy imagining the sea, the vast plains, and the magical world beyond the walled universe he knows. A spiritually-attuned and curious explorer :")

Levi Ackerman - Capricorn sun, Scorpio moon, Virgo rising Levi is such a complex person, thanks to Isayama's brilliance. Like many Cap suns, Levi is authoritative, cold and incredibly savage. That's not to say he doesn't feel anything either. Levi is an evolved Scorp moon (maybe even moon in 11th house) because his feelings are never for himself, but he hurts so much for others - you can tell every death hits him so hard, but he doesn't show this to anyone else. He also exudes this quietly intimidating aura of natural competence, a common characteristic of this sun-moon combo. He can take things personally as well (re: height issues) but it never snowballs into more than passing irritation. The turbulence of his emotions and habit for violence is balanced out by his earthy Virgo rising, which is emotionally subdued, quite thin and delicate in physique, and super neurotic and nitpicky when it comes to cleanliness and health. Cap, Virgo and Scorp are some of the most guarded signs, and a combi of all 3 are hellish. You can tell this poor beautiful man is always caught between feeling and thinking, between maintaining his humanity and forsaking it.

Erwin Smith - Libra sun, Capricorn moon, Leo rising In another life, Erwin Smith would be the damn CEO of a global conglomerate because he oozes so much charisma. Hell if charisma were energy Erwin Smith would be its prime, eternally renewable source. His stature alone is so commanding, and I find some strong Leonine traits in his thickset physique, strong eyebrows, beautiful hair, and that way he shouted in full glory atop wall Rose in that one episode to the cheering masses below. He might be a Libra sun, diplomatic in political affairs, but his Capricorn moon is what drives his decisions. Cap moon has a rep for being cold and unemotional, but i believe they are way more than that! Cap moons rarely boast about their long list of achievements, instead looking forward to the next goal. They struggle with emotional expression, and are super driven and disciplined. Erwin is capable of making the hardest decisions, putting aside emotions to strive for an abstract ideal, and this is to be expected of the commander who takes on the role of the devil.

Hange Zoe - Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon, Gemini rising All hail our favourite mad scientist!! Hange is such a breath of fresh air in the Survey Corps, balancing out the heaviness of missions with their wacky tales of titan research and experimentation. Their penchant for study and higher knowledge is typical of a Sagittarius moon, who is drawn to advanced academic study and spiritual truths. It's also a lighthearted and optimistic sign, true to Hange's upbeat personality. The Virgo in them contributes to their sheer intelligence and obsessiveness with research subjects. We also know they LOVE to talk, and once Eren asks Hange about experiments, they cannot stop (Gemini governs communication). Virgo, Sag and Gemini are the most intellectual signs, and because they are mutuable Hange tends to follow orders rather than give them, making it difficult to adapt to their new role towards the end of the series. Mutable signs also means rapidly-changing emotional states, and a whole lot of chaos, which suits our beloved squad leader.

Jean Kirstein - Aries sun, Virgo moon, Taurus rising Our third Aries on the list ohmygod. The snk universe is full of feisty hotheads. Jean is always seen clashing with Eren, fuelled by Eren's closeness with Mikasa and his own adorable jealousy. I mean, they had a full on fist fight right after dinner in the mess hall, although everything went downhill after the first few punches. Our first impression of Jean during his cadet days is coloured by his desire to work in the interior, and this favour for material safety and wealth is perhaps common to a Taurus rising. Also, Taurus is ruled by Venus, planet of beauty and harmony, and thus often figures in the charts of artists. If you've seen Jean's drawing skills in that special episode, you'll know that his artistic abilities are the finest we have seen, exceeding even that of isayama himself. Jean's strong principles such as being averse to killing people and oftentimes cynical nature, is also characteristic of the moral and cautious Virgo moon.

Sasha Braus - Leo sun, Gemini moon, Taurus rising Not all Leos are showmans. Sasha is the type of Leo who displays more of the quirky, unabrashed personality suited to her opposite sister sign Aquarius. Authority doesn't exist when food comes into play, as we see when she breaks potato with Shadis and later steals a slab of meat from the officer's warehouse. Unlike the visual artistry that Jean possesses with his Taurus rising, Sasha's Taurus centers around her love for food, and hell she can have fiery determination for it (rmb the wild night she mistook Jean's hand for meat?). I love that both of them were pitted with each other in that cooking special episode. I considered placing her as a Taurus moon, but Taurus moons are usually steadier and classier in emotion, whereas Sasha is often breezy, gets nervous and chaotic, with stellar intuition, making her likely a Gemini moon.

Connie Springer - Taurus sun, Cancer moon, Gemini rising Although not much attention is paid to Connie's growth, his character development reminds me a lot of Aang from ATLA. Cheery and happy-go-lucky at first, before the incident with his mother made him more prone to feelings of anger and vengeance, especially near the later chapters. His strong protective bond with his mother is what compels me to say he is a Cancer moon, which is a moon sign that is very homebody and drawn to family and traditions. His goofy self and him referring to Sasha as "his twin" puts him as the spunky Gemini rising, another sign he shares with her.

Reiner Braun - Leo sun, Pisces moon, Capricorn rising Aside from his natural leader personality (Leonine), Reiner likes to take on the persona of the big brother of the group. His outward stoicism, decisiveness and task-oriented nature is typical of a Cap rising, who is often serious and solemn in appearance. He reminds me of that Cap rising workaholic who does his best in a corporate organization, working 9 to 5 plus overtime as it fulfills his sense of purpose. Beyond his stoic facade reveals a more troubled personality. Like a Pisces moon, Reiner is impressionable, and it's difficult to tell if his emotions and personalities are his own, wavering and absorbing traits from those around him. His internal war with his identity and the ensuing fatigue characterises him during the second half of the series.

Annie Leonhart - Aries sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo rising Annie is the kind of Aries that is so motivated to achieve her goals that everything else is sidelined, including her own emotions. She's quite ruthless in chasing her objectives, and her composure, focus and endurance is highlighted with an Aquarius moon. I'm guessing she has a 4th house influence somewhere because of her motivations to go home to her father and lead a normal life. I find the daintiness and delicateness of her features similar to Levi, who is also a Virgo rising. The Virgo effect also registers as a brutal, unfiltered honesty (also seen in Levi), and Annie doesn't hesitate to speak the truth about her own or her opponent's capabilities.

Other characters which I won't go into much detail about:

Bertholdt Hoover - Capricorn sun, Virgo moon, Pisces rising Bertholdt is quiet with an unobtrusive personality. His lack of supposed iniative and aggression can perhaps be attributed to the mutuability of Virgo and Pisces, which goes with the flow instead of charging forward. He keeps his feelings to himself, but reacts when the people he wants to protect are threatened.

Historia Reiss - Capricorn sun, Libra moon, Cancer rising Historia initially lives for the sake of others (esp Ymir), and is more co-dependent than many of her other squadmates. She also tends to put up a front of pleasantness, afraid of disappointing or offending people. She has a strong tie to family, and a profound sense of duty.

Ymir - Aquarius sun, Pisces moon, Aries rising Ymir is extremely astute when it comes to evaluating human behaviour. The religiosity of her background is also usually found in this sun-moon combination, which tends to attract paths of strong spirituality. She also has a bold and noble sacrificial streak for the sake of her companions.

Zeke Jaeger - Leo sun, Capricorn moon, Scorpio rising A headstrong, intelligent and radical character. In a way similar to Erwin in his ruthlessness, but emotionally darker and much more sinisterly private.

Kenny Ackerman - Aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon

Rod Reiss - Virgo sun, Libra moon

Dot Pixis - Virgo sun, Sagittarius moon

Hannes - Capricorn sun, Taurus moon

#snk astrology #snk #aot astrology #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #anime astrology #eren jaeger #mikasa ackerman #armin arlet #levi ackerman #erwin smith #hange zoe #jean kirstein #sasha braus #connie springer #reiner braun #annie leonhart #bertholdt hoover #historia reiss

159 notes · View notes

ishtarsreturn · 3 years

Text

The Dead Dad Club by Dana Gabrielle Espinosa

You can find prints of this drawing here: ishtarsreturn.bigcartel.com

*~*~*

I only started processing my dad’s death

11 years after the fact,

I can’t explain why exactly, your brain sort of

goes into this

subterranean state in childhood, submerging

itself beneath the trauma,

buried in the heaviness of the memories

in your head, like a rotting sunken shipwreck,

and

as you get old, you let the flora overgrow,

hope in vain that the pain will let you go if

you just forget it in the depths.

If I simply forgot the sound of

his ghost’s clear voice in my room one night,

or the blowing of his silver whistling,

cleansing our home from beyond the grave,

unbeknownst to us all,

I thought if I told him to just go away,

stop speaking so loudly in his death, that

the wound of it would heal, imperceptible,

not even a scar,

to the human eye,

and I could be normal and hide--

Normal,

meaning, not connected to

what can’t be seen,

not accompanied by a phantasmal protector,

not shrouded in his pearlescent veil, safe from

unseen harms all around,

not purposefully isolated from the ordinary and

the bound.

It took me 11 years to learn this was less of a

hindrance,

and more of a gift, a sacred perspective,

an archetypal membership,

a bridge between forgotten worlds in

this waking Hell.

I speak freely with him now,

acknowledge what he does for me when it

comes around,

witness his secret messages, like,

a colorful moth perched just in my view,

a snowstorm erupting at his grave in the

evening,

a sunny glittering of his face in the rearview

as I’m driving.

I learned to reply to him in his symbolic

language too, that is new,

an abandoned tongue, long repressed,

now expressed,

with my own rituals and lore;

light a candle in the night,

write a poem by its flickering light,

dance and get the heart pumping,

then, quickly now, begin the drumming,

while the sky breaks out into triumphant

trumpeting.

~ * ~ * ~

✨🕊🌨The Dead Dad Club🌨🕊✨Ever since my dad died when I was 9, I would tell people I was part of the “Dead Dad Club.” I noticed as a kid that in lots of fairytales and stories, the main characters often had a dead father. This weirdly became a coping mechanism for me. Little 10, 11, 12 year old me reasoned that, if all these heroic and unique characters I admired had dead fathers, and still went on to have fantastical adventures, met passionate lovers, and accomplished amazing feats, having a dead father couldn’t be THAT bad of a situation. I felt, there’s gotta be some magic to it, or else it wouldn’t be a part of the recipe for so many heroic tales. And I found that magic in my own life, 11 years later, and realized death isn’t the end of the relationship. It’s only a transformation of it, bringing with it supernatural happenings, gifts, and connections💀As we move thru Autumn, the time when the veil is the thinnest, it has this archetypal energy on my mind. Are you or someone you know a member of The Dead Dad Club?🙏🏻✨💙🦋

#the dead dad club #ishtarsreturn #dana gabrielle espinosa #poetry #grief #healing #self healers #art therapy #prints for sale #art print #confessional poet #female artists #female art collective #trauma healing #childhood trauma #multimedia artist

16 notes · View notes

ms2jfv7os132 · 4 years

Note

Anons are always telling you about their headcanons about Luz. Now, it's your turn! Tell us your Luz headcanons!

alright king some of my personal luz hcs for the masses (stole/got inspiration for some of these from @hellpuppy-king ty gabriel!)

- luz can and will spend hours on end just drawing glyphs in her notebook to prep for when she needs them

- sometimes she does this absentmindedly while watching soap operas/anime with king in the living room (mostly so she has something to do to keep her from getting bored)

- howEVER, during the times when she n king get Super Invested in the show, she’ll completely forget about the glyphs, and every once in a while eda will walk in to see luz, notebook and pencil in idle hand, both her n king on the edge of their seats with their eyes glued to the crystal ball, and just smile

- the only other way luz will work on her glyphs is with complete focus and in complete silence. the only noises she will make exceptions for are the distant clanging sounds of eda shuffling around the kitchen and king’s soft snoring if he happens to be sleeping on a pillow next to her bc they’re familiar and comforting sounds. she will not make any exceptions for hooty (and hooty has since learned to respect that)

- i just feel like luz would have a fidget spinner idk why. she’d keep one in her pocket n take it out whenever she needs it, like when she needs something for her hands to do in order to keep nervousness/anxiety in check, when she has a billion too many ideas in her brain, or when she’s just plain bored

- oh also hot take: luz’s “no thoughts head empty” look isnt actually bc no thoughts head empty it’s bc she suddenly got a bunch of ideas at once and she isn’t exactly sure how to handle having so many thoughts in her head so she kinda stands still and gets a blank expression while she sorts thru all her ideas

- maybe luz didn’t have a lot of friends her age, but camila was 100% her best friend and number one. ever since she was little, they’d do EVERYTHING together. they made up a secret code that only the two of them would understand, camila would play along as all the side characters in the make-believe games luz would come up with, and you can Bet every time luz wanted to stop by their favorite cafe for a treat camila would try to be strict only to immediately melt at luz’s adorable baby eyes

- luz’s first language was spanish no i will not hear any alternatives bc i am right. she didn’t really learn to speak english until she went to preschool, and even now at home she switches constantly and effortlessly between spanish and english with her mom

- as a kid, luz would regularly sit camila down in their living room to watch her reenact all the plots of her favorite books or the weekly fantasy plots she'd make up on her own, complete with a cardboard stage, blankets as curtains, and props ranging from stuffed animals to glitter-covered contraptions she spent hours gluing together. camila would gasp, laugh, and cry along with every performance, and luz would always get an enthusiastic standing ovation at the end of the night without fail

- luz has been BEGGING camila for a pet since the beginning of time. as of the start of canon, she has asked for a cat, a dog, a fish, a bird, a hermit crab, a hamster, a snake, a bearded dragon, a ferret, a hedgehog, a turtle, and a chicken. camila has said no every single time.

#sdfhjksdfh i’m sorry this took so long i kept this in my drafts for a while bc i wanted to compile a decent list #b4 u ask yes most of these are based on personal experience #sorry if the stuff camila would do w luz as a kid isnt realistic idk what its like to have a healthy relationship w a mother figure :/#i was just kinda like. yea that sounds right i wouldve liked it if my mom did that lmao #hope this is satisfactory anon...i tried my best #asks #anon

162 notes · View notes

flutter2deceive · 3 years

Text

Inspired by @everybodyknows-everybodydies recent ER dream posts, I figured I'd share some of my ER dreams from the past year. I text myself whatever i remember after waking up from interesting dreams so that's the grammatically incorrect format they're in lol

buffy out on the streets moving vans with her strength, timothy olyphant is a vampire and he and his vamp buddies need romano to inject blood back into his circulatory system so he can go out in daylight again, they're taunting him like "come on didn't buffy train with you for a week to be a surgeon before giving up?", idk

The coolest stop motion video ever of this ER drawing turned into a storyline, mark leaves i guess jennifer and is running down the hallway to someone and i'm curious to see if it will be susan or elizabeth, it's elizabeth but then the pov switches to susan and she continues running down the hall to the trauma coming in and she high-fives abby and it's like the main point of contact for all the friendly characters when they do something cool is to high-five, watching this whole thing run thru and have the absolute biggest look of gleeful wonder on my face, i say some very nice words and hope they make it to whoever the author/vid marker are

In a steam engine room like that titanic ep of newsradio, there were also demons, so hell??, then there was a thing about carter being gay and in love with his best friend but then he called me lisa (which is my name) but i took that to mean that it was actually dave and it was a whole thing about maura tierney's fake ex-boyfriends?, and carter was out in my parents' front yard confessing his love but he accidentally stepped in the path of a chainsaw and the top of his toe got chopped off so then he was in a wheelchair

Kerry and elizabeth talking about sandy and mark and how they dread talking to henry and ella about them without breaking down, but it's also like they're still there, and then it's kerry and mark having the same convo but it's mark talking about his dad, they're in the hospital bathroom, a scene where sandy is temping in a library at the hospital and arizona robbins also working there and the implication is that they used to date, arizona comes up to sandy's table and notices that she seems to be doing wedding planning meanwhile kerry is sitting by herself at another table, arizona is judgy about what appears to be sandy chasing a girl who's in the closet and ashamed, sandy explains that kerry doesn't know and it's a surprise which is why she has the flashmob people standing 2 deep around kerry's table so she doesn't see the minister bringing the shrubbery in (this never happens in the dream but also what?? lol), then kerry has a successful hip replacement surgery that luka performed and mark is telling everyone about it, susan and abby were just starting to feel out a relationship and were making out in the bathroom

The er hospital but housed in an amalgam of my workplace and childhood church, i guess i'm like an orderly?, corday is pregnant and examining a patient and she's like ready-to-pop pregnant but she's still insistent that she's good to work until she's 8cm dilated and she's only 6 right now, we're all like dude go up to ob now, she's doing like yoga stretches on the floor to alleviate pain but still insists she's fine, meanwhile her patient is like ???, her water breaks and romano is gonna take her up to surgery, there's a space issue at the elevators and only he can fit, me and the other orderly say we'll take her up on the gurney in the other bank of elevators, we go flying down the hall and yelling for people to move cuz mrs corday's-- "sorry, dr. corday's"-- water broke, we get stopped by a security guard who won't let us through and then stopped again cuz there's construction in the warehouse, somehow romano manages to get lizzie but me and the other orderly are locked out, go to a bar downstairs to wait and nick kroll is there and he alerts everyone at the bar to the fact that he found several fan art/fic hits for "nick kroll/luka kovac" on the company's subreddit, he seems oddly intrigued, how weird of a pairing

In the future, there are no doctors because they're all burnt out from covid so healthcare in the future is just holograms of scenes from er but they're not the medical scenes they're the relationship drama stuff, alex kingston is named ceo of brain things due to her time on both er and doctor who, an interviewer asks what her favorite katy perry song is and romano answers for her, then maura tierney kicks everyone's ass at a banquet

The specifics elude me but somehow abby made it so that neela's memories of gallant's death are erased, and he's not exactly alive but also not dead, maybe she went back in time and changed something or had magic?, but neela is now texting with michael who is actually abby with his phone pretending to be him, abby is feeling really guilty for playing around with life and death and neela's feelings when she didn't have a gameplan, she ends up telling weaver she did something extremely morally questionable, now the two of them have to think thru how to handle the situation, neela is concerned now cuz michael texted that he'd talk with her at 23:00 but he hasn't called yet, then there's this really annoying intern that's pissing all the docs off, weaver starts to say something and ppl think she's gonna tell this woman off but she's like "this is an intern that's working here? She should be the hospital's lawyer", and then abby and susan smirk at each other and put on a tie? Idk but i think it's a different reality than the gallant-still-alive one

On a road trip or something and get back to abby's apartment, i may be susan but also possibly just me, we get the luggage from the car and while abby is trying to find her keys to unlock the door, we hear a noise from down the alley, the blonde woman that luka had been flirting with is near the luggage and is drunk or high, we wrestle with our conscience on whether to help her, she ends up asking to crash on the couch, abby and i get her inside and on the couch, we then end up sharing the bed and giggling

Caring for romano while he was in the hospital, mei lin from top chef is a med student and robert keeps insulting her, i think i might be corday, order a butterfinger and bottle of water from the hospital convenience store, go back to robert's room, he's muttering about the salad they brought him, i ask if he wants me to tell the nurse that he wants them to leave the salad for when he wakes from his nap, he squints up at me and smiles, says that his coping mechanism for stress is egg salad, idk

Living an ep of ER, i am susan, walking to my car alongside elizabeth, we're kinda tensely discussing when the kids will be at each of our houses for the holidays, i say let's just fuck it and join our celebrations, it's like a thing as if mark actually used to be married to susan and had a kid, don't know if it was supposed to be little suzie or rachel, elizabeth smiles unexpectedly and my heart kicks up, get in our cars and drive off, i am fumbling with a cigarette and the lighter from the car, drop them both as i'm driving down the hill out of the hospital parking lot, but now i am abby and have the season 9 hair, keep talking about this guy coworker i'm secretly seeing but it's actually susan and i'm trying to throw people off the scent, and there's something also about trixie and katya in this part of the dream but i don't remember specifically what, maybe guest star patients?

#er #dreams #i am a ridiculous human being #even in slumber lol

12 notes · View notes