#also he takes full offense he loves matt

[ask2pame]

do you have any friends that aren't matt? no offense but you can't just hang out with your brother all the time.

yeah i do but no one gets me like matt does, ok.

#don't let this trick u these two have friendship bracelets #2p hetalia #2p mexico #2p america #draw #round 3 #hetalia #allen answers #also he takes full offense he loves matt

[chvoswxtch]

I would love some angst with Matt Murdock.

Imagine the kids of Foggy and Marci, either toddlers or teenagers, ask their beloved and cool uncle Matt why he never married or have a girlfriend.

Then he start to tell them about Y/N, the woman he was married to long ago, the person he loved the most in the world. His greatest love. The love of his life.

But she's dead, and all because of the double life of Matt. And it's something Matt have to deal with every day.

nonnie, you really made me break my own heart with this one, but I still love ya anyway. i've got tissues if you need them. thank you so much for the request, I hope this is what you had in mind. ❤️

warning: this one is kinda heavy. it does deal with themes of death and loss, grief, and there's a very extremely brief (blink & you miss it) mention of matt wishing for death (didn't wanna use the s word). if any of these themes make you uncomfortable or are triggering, please feel free to skip this one. you will not hurt my feelings, I promise. feel free to yell at me in my dms or in the comments after. I apologize for breaking your hearts in advance. word count: 2.5k

violets.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Matt could hear two sets of feet barreling down the staircase at full speed. A chuckle slipped past his lips as he folded up his cane and placed it on the entryway table, getting down on one knee with a huge grin on his lips and holding out his arms as he braced himself for impact. 

“Uncle Matt! Uncle Matt!”

Matt laughed as he wrapped his arms around the twins, hugging them both into his chest tightly as he kissed both their heads. 

“Hey kiddos. What trouble are you two causing, huh?”

An exasperated Marci appeared in the hallway, both hands on her hips as he shook her head and motioned towards the stairwell.

“Michael and Paige Nelson, what have I told you two about running down the stairs?”

“But mom, Uncle Matt is here!”

“And did you think he was gonna disappear if you didn’t get downstairs fast enough?”

Matt chuckled as he gently squeezed Michael’s shoulder, tilting his head in Marci’s direction. 

“Your mom is right, you guys shouldn’t be running down the stairs. We don’t want either of you to get hurt. Besides, I’m pretty sure the park also has a strict no play policy if you have any broken bones.”

“That’s the law?”

“That’s the law, sweetheart.”

Matt placed a gentle kiss to Paige's temple and smiled as he stood up, letting the twins each take one of his hands to tug him into the living room area. He couldn’t help but laugh as Marci rolled her eyes before heading back into the kitchen.

“Franklin, come get your children!”

“Why are they always mine when they’re in trouble?”

“Because I did all the work for nine months, that’s how this works.”

Foggy appeared in the living room and looked between the twins with a quizzical arch of his brow, settling his hands on his hips as he tried to mask his grin.

“What did you two do?”

“Nothing!”

“Lying under oath is perjury and a punishable offense.”

“We didn’t swear an oath, daddy. All our books are upstairs.”

Matt tried his hardest to stifle his laughter into his fist, feeling Foggy’s gaze staring daggers in his direction. He gave a light shrug of his shoulders as he sat down on the couch, holding his hands out for Paige as she crawled up into his lap.

“She has a point.”

“You, stop encouraging her. And you, quit being better at my job than me.”

Matt grinned as he tickled Paige’s side, feeling the smile spread further across his face as she giggled. Foggy plopped down on the other side of Matt, pressing a kiss to his daughter’s head as he held his hands out for Michael.

“Did you tell Uncle Matt your big news, Mikey?”

Matt cocked his head to the side as Michael settled in his dad’s lap, picking up on the shy smile that appeared on his mouth.

“What big news?”

“Mikey here has his first girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? You’re six, what do you need a girlfriend for?”

“Oh please, and how old were you when you started dating, Murdock?”

Marci teased as she scooped Michael up into her arms from Foggy’s lap, peppering kisses all over his face as he giggled loudly. Foggy snorted as he clapped his hand on Matt’s shoulder, shaking his head slowly.

“Don’t answer that. He idolizes you enough as it is, we don’t need him following your footsteps in that department.”

This seemed to capture Michael’s attention as he whipped his head around in Matt’s direction.

“Uncle Matt, do you have a girlfriend?”

Matt instantly froze. He could feel both Foggy and Marci go rigid either side of him, and tension seemed to fill the living room like heavy fog. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, and cleared his throat as he made a tight fist with his left hand.

“I…uh, no. No I don’t, buddy.”

“How come?”

Paige’s voice was soft as she laid her head on his shoulder, gazing up at him inquisitively. He silently thanked God that he hadn’t removed his glasses, because he could feel tears starting to brim his waterline. Foggy swallowed thickly as he placed his hand on Paige’s back to get her attention.

“Why don’t we-”

“No…no, it’s alright.”

Matt knew this day would come eventually. He knew as soon as the twins were born, one day they were going to have questions. He had been dreading it for the past six years, trying to figure out what to say, how to explain it delicately. He wasn’t sure how they would react, or what they would think of him once they knew the truth.

“I don’t have a girlfriend because…well, I used to have a wife.”

“Where is she?”

Matt took a shaky breath as he swallowed thickly, turning his head to face Michael with a sad smile on his lips.

“She went to Heaven.”

Paige snuggled into Matt’s side a little closer, her tiny hand reaching for his to hold. He wasn’t sure if it’s because he had held her first the day the twins were born, or some other force, but Matt had always had a stronger connection with her. He loved them both equally, of course, but Paige always seemed to be more in tune with him. Maybe it was because Paige was exactly like what he hoped his daughter with you would have been like. Too smart for her own good, incredibly observant, generously kind. He often thinks about how much you would have loved her. God, how much she would have loved you. They both would have.

“What happened?”

“Michael-”

Matt shook his head when Marci went to cut him off. It wasn’t his fault. He was just a curious kid. Michael had never seen Matt with a woman, or ever heard him talk about one before. He was bound to have questions. 

“She…had an accident. It was my fault. I…I didn’t keep her safe like I should have…and she got hurt.”

Foggy got up to start picking up various toys around the living room, but Matt knew it was so his kids wouldn’t see him cry. You and Foggy had been very close. You were essentially another sister, like Karen, that he never had but always wanted. Foggy would never ever say it out loud, but Matt knew deep down that Foggy blamed him for your death. He knew Karen did too. There’s no way either of them couldn’t. 

It was his fault.

If he hadn’t been the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, you would still be alive. If he had been more careful, if he had just focused more on being a husband than trying to be a hero, if he had fought harder to protect you instead of his city, you’d still be here. Matt lost everything when he lost you. 

“Do you miss her?”

Matt tried his hardest not to crack at Paige’s soft voice. He didn’t want either of them to see him cry, or think they’d upset him with their questions. All he could do was nod his head slowly, using his thumb to twist his wedding band around his ring finger gently. 

“Everyday.”

Matt had completely shut down after you died. He became even more reckless than he did after Midland Circle. He stopped wearing the red suit. He wanted to feel every ounce of pain he knew he deserved for what he let happen to you. He wanted to break and bleed, hoping it would drown out the pain he felt inside. He went out every night looking for someone to end it. 

Matt Murdock and the Devil were both long gone. A hollow, fragile shell was all that remained. 

He didn’t see or speak to anyone for a year. Karen managed to track him down and found him one night curled up by your grave on your wedding anniversary. As much as he tried to fight her, Karen wouldn’t let go, and once she tracked him down again, she enlisted the one person she knew could get through to him. The one person who could understand exactly what Matt was going through. The one person that had survived that kind of pain. 

“This ain’t what she woulda wanted for ya, Red. All this shit, it ain’t gonna fix it. Trust me. All it’s gonna do is make that void even deeper. I know right now, hell it feels like that pain ain’t ever gonna go away. And I can’t sit here and lie to ya and say it does, cause it don’t. Some days it just…hurts a little less. But she saw somethin’ in you, yeah? Somethin’ worth a damn. You wanna honor her memory, prove her right. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Red. You prove to her you’re the man she thought you were.”

Frank wouldn’t let Matt out of his sight for six months. He was there to talk him down from the ledge when it felt like he was drowning in grief. He let Matt use him as a punching bag to lash out when he stepped in to keep him from getting himself killed. He held him when Matt woke up screaming because he lost you in his nightmares all over again. He sat with him in silence when Matt would go days without speaking. Sometimes he would tell him stories about Maria and the kids when they came to him. There were some days when Frank felt like he was starting to forget little things, and remembering them out loud helped him hold onto them a little longer. 

There was one night whenFrank was telling a story about how Maria used to always put her chocolate in the freezer, and wouldn’t touch it until it was completely frozen, that Matt seemed to finally break his silence.

“Said it made it taste better or somethin’. Didn’t make no damn sense to me. But God forbid I ever buy that woman chocolate and not put it in the freezer. She’d give me hell, every single time.”

All of a sudden, Matt burst into a fit of laughter. Frank nearly broke his neck looking over at him, watching as he doubled over and laughed so hard, tears threatened to slip. Frank immediately froze. He wasn’t sure if Matt had finally broke and was having a psychotic episode, or what. He must have been able to sense Frank’s apprehension, because he shook his head as he tried to talk through his laughter.

“Y/N used to do that. I never understood it, but I knew better than to question it.”

Frank let out a deep exhale of relief, finding himself smiling as Matt was still coming down from his fit of laughter. He chuckled along with him, shaking his head slowly.

“Must be a woman thing.”

“Maybe. Or maybe that was just our wives.”

That was the first time Matt had laughed in almost two years. There was a tender smile on his lips and a gentle look in his blank stare, like he was replaying a memory of you in his head like a comforting home movie. Frank watched him silently. Slowly, the smile began to melt, and Matt’s eyes welled up as his face contorted into an expression of grief and regret. That was the first time he had said your name out loud in two years. Frank held him for hours as he wept.

After that night, Matt started to mention you more. It was small at first, a few things here and there, but after a while, he was sharing memories of you with Frank too. Piece by piece, Frank helped Matt heal to where he could function again. There was a comfort only they could find with each other. Matt started going to church again with Maggie as he struggled to make peace with his God. He eased himself back into work to keep himself busy, trying to find his purpose again. He started spending more time with Foggy and Karen again, and found himself finally able to return to places that held memories of you. Sometimes he could feel your gentle touch or hear your voice at night when he prayed. He mentioned this to Frank once and asked if that ever happened to him too.

“Yeah, it does. I feel her all the time, Red. Sometimes, I shit you not I hear her in my head. She still always has the answers exactly when I need ‘em.”

When Foggy told Matt and Karen that Marci was pregnant, Matt felt an excitement he hadn’t felt in years. You and Matt had always talked about having a family. He would never be able to have one with someone else. He could never remarry or love anyone else the way he loved you. A huge part of him still felt like he would never deserve to. But being an uncle was the closest he was ever going to get to the life you two planned together, and he would take it.

“Would she have liked us?”

Matt was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn’t noticed Michael had joined Paige in his lap. A somber smile spread over his lips as he nodded, wrapping the twins up in a big hug and pressing a kiss to the tops of both their heads.

“She would have loved you both so much.”

“What was her name?”

Matt let out a shuddering breath, swallowing thickly as he tilted his head in Paige’s direction.

“Her name was Y/N.”

It still hurt to say your name out loud sometimes.

“Did you know Y/N, daddy?”

Foggy quickly wiped at his eyes as he turned around, kneeling down on the floor in front of Matt as he put his hands on the twins’ backs.

“I did, Mikey. She was my best friend. Practically my sister, just like Aunt Karen.”

“Do you miss Aunt Y/N too, daddy?”

Matt closed his eyes and choked back a sob at Paige’s words. You would’ve loved to be their aunt. Foggy gently squeezed her shoulder as he gave her a tight lipped smile and nodded. 

“Everyday.”

“Can we go visit her?”

Marci sat down beside Foggy on the floor and put her hand on Matt’s knee, squeezing gently before looking up at Michael with a soft smile.

“No, baby. I’m afraid we can’t go visit her in Heaven. But if Uncle Matt says it’s okay, maybe we can go visit her where she’s buried and bring her some pretty flowers.”

“Can we do that Uncle Matt? Please?”

Matt didn’t bother hiding the tears that slipped down his cheeks as he tried to smile, nodding his head in Michael’s direction as he sniffled. 

“I think she’d love that, Mikey.”

“What kinda flowers did Aunt Y/N like?”

Matt smiled softly as Paige held his left hand, letting her twist his wedding band around his finger timidly.

“Violets. She loved violets.”

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock fic #matt murdock request #daredevil #daredevil fic #daredevil request #foggy nelson #karen page #marci stahl #frank castle

[mytvd]

can they fly?? is there any other way she could have been yanked vertically like that??

the zooming of the credits sent me

"i predicted obama" "can we still say 'tr*nny mess'?"

the crow on the street signs. watching. observing. the video mentioned that the crow and fog get dropped right away which is already making me so sad.

kai confuses me -- is he really making fun of jeremy for wearing nail polish?? "pete wentz (derogatory)"?? offended at the mention of carson daly?? he and jeremy look equally threatening, is kai supposed to be scarier??

the dramatic sunglasses removal made me wonder if vampires can accidentally compel people by making eye contact. or was it just to look cool

the "chill yourself" clip has been stuck in my mind since i first watched that video and seeing it in context was just ...!

why is bonnie so menacing in that shot????

i'm uneasy seeing pretty much all of these people inside a high school. i have consumed ridiculous amounts of high school media but this is really pushing it

"HAWT-E" lmao

i haven't looked into anything about the production at all but this looks like a really high-budget episode for the first season of any show, especially a teen paranormal romance

that crow noise as she enters the cemetery LMAOOOOO

literally lol'd at [i assume damon] standing by that statue. whoever came up with that shot really ate that day

does elena think "hitchcock" is the movie title

the crow sounds keep startling my cat

there's no way she wouldn't have felt that injury lol

is this the same background music from pll??

matt looks old enough to be kai's dad at this restaurant. no offense to this actor irl -- he just looks tired and his skin looks very dehydrated (vs kai's v moisturized face). why didn't they oil up this man and try another take

"when's the last time you had sex with a puppy?"

i thought it was gonna turn out that elena was lying to jenna, she is dressed for a much different occasion than her friends are

"her mom and dad died" i wonder how many more times this will get stated in this episode (edit: even more than i thought)

it looks like stefan is on a date with all three of them

i had to rewatch this scene because of the background kate bush. i didn't want it to be a cover but wow. the hits!!!

i stan this wardrobe full of diaries!!!

why is this teacher such an asshole

i don't think i ever learned about this kind of hyperlocal town history in school at any point (i also went to a small town southern public high school). i realize it's there for our benefit but lol it seems weird. what actual class is this where on day 2 of school they are learning this information??

mr. tanner quickly became even more of an asshole jfc

why is the closeup of stefan's nose pores comforting to me? (it's bc everyone is airbrushed now)

i love how supportive elena is of bonnie's psychic abilities

elena is v committed to cradling that empty solo cup

where is this?? i know they said "the falls" and i assumed this pavilion in the woods was maybe someone's private property but the bridge with the lights?? where are they lol

holy shit vicki

this is a much fancier woods party spot than the woods party spot i went to in high school. or the cow pasture spot. there are so many coolers, cans, bottles, etc, but no visible litter. wild

how is nobody calling 911 lol like why are all these kids just standing around staring as if nothing has happened?? they would be, at the very least, milling about

the zooms are non-stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have never seen so many zooms. slow zooms. fast zooms. credit zooms.

i know there are things like civil war flashbacks but i would love a 90s one of stefan in his "grunge look"

jenny called damon "an eyebrow heavy performance" and yeah

i can't believe jeremy is drinking a beer while there are cops in the frame???

i hope we find out more about the competition caroline believes she is in with elena

the fray. i'm time traveling

stefan wanted to "be someone new" so he returned to his small hometown, under his real name, to live in his family home??

i know that almost everyone in a movie/tv show playing a teen or young adult is older than their character but again this show is really pushing my suspension of disbelief re: damon making eye contact with caroline. in this shot just having him facing the camera instead of showing his profile and using less harsh lighting would have done wonders to not make me viscerally react to him flirting with a teenager.

elena in front of this giant un-curtained window in the dark on the cw is so pll

from the video i know the stefan is "seventeen" but i wonder if katherine was also seventeen?? or maybe katherine is older than the brothers, in apparrant age & actual age? i just had the thought, "if stefan is only here to check out elena, why couldn't he have waited until she graduated high school to meet her?" which made me think, "at what point in her physical development would it become clear that she is a doppleganger of katherine? like how young?" there is no enjoyment for me in trying to pick apart the age disparity ethics of vampire teens dating human teens so i am disregarding that for this entire show but the doppleganger thing is weird to me

just remembered from the vpd video that queen bianca lawson is on this show, just like she was on contemporary PLL and predecessor BTVS. the eternal teenager

i was committed to only watching one episode tonight but the next episode is called "the night of the comet." fuck

#the vampire diaries #tvd 01x01 #vampire diaries

[reefer-reelz-n-reviews]

Alice (2009)

Smoking: Neil Bongstrong

So, this technically isn’t a movie, but a tv mini Series and definitely one of my favorites. We follow Caterina Scorsone, Alice, as she travels to… you guessed it! Wonderland.

My husband and I are currently watching Law and Order SVU, and there is a new ADA played by Philip Winchester who is Jack Chase in this series. So, I’ve been itching to watch it every time we see him pop up on the screen.

This week’s is a little bit harder. I have a poor sick kitten who is demanding love and attention so having double duty.

We basically have all of the characters from the original in here. There is the white rabbit, played by Alan Gray. He isn’t really a rabbit just a man that is running from CS and his hair is long and in two low pony tails that look as if they are his ears.

CS goes through the looking glass into almost half a world. It is floating and boy is it a long way down if you fall. I like to think of this as more of a modern-day Alice, where she is smarter 😂 By smarter I mean she doesn’t take the bate to drink the vile, but still gets captured. Also, not a blonde but brunette. Maybe that’s why she is smarter 🤣 don’t take offense if you’re blonde please, just making a joke.

The first time I watched it was with my friend Rachel and I was soooo baked! There is a scene where people are almost like at the stock market yelling out numbers to purchase emotions. The first time I watched it I thought they were all whispering. Almost like they were in a bubble. Totally not what happens 😂

This happens at the Tea House. And guess who runs it? None other than Hatter, played by Andrew Lee Potts. I’ve been in love with him ever since I’ve watched it 😍

There is even a larger gentleman, Dave ‘Squatch’ Ward that plays the Walrus. Though he is more of an enforcer if you will.

In this adaptation The Queen of Hearts, played by THE Kathy Bates, is married to of course the King of Hearts, Colm Meaney.

Not only do we have KB in here. But the magnificent Tim Curry!! He plays Dodo. He isn’t in too much of the series. But just having him in it is enough for me 😄

KB still likes to take the heads of those who oppose her.

I love how ALP gets shot by TC and he acts like he’s all super hurt and CS is all concerned just to find out that he is wearing a bullet proof vest.

What did I say about it being a long way down? There is the March Hair looking for CS. Though he is called Mad March in this. He straight up threw a guy off of the edge and you just hear him scream allllll the way down.

There is even a Jabberwock! It looks nothing like the one from the one from Tim Burton’s Alice. It actually looks a little derpy 😂

My favorite character is the White Knight, played by Matt Frewer. He is goofy, does a lot of synonyms. Or as I pronounce them cinnamons lolololol. He also apparently does toe nail readings 🤔 whatever that means.

Another similarity is that there is the same cat, Dinah, that surprise CS follows in the forest. Though she turns into the Cheshire Cat.

The part with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum is played by Eugene Lipinski, and he’s some kind of mind doctor where they try to find out information form CS. There are some trippy backgrounds that are almost like a hypnosis.

Love when ALP and MF are trying to sneak in to the Casino and ALP has this hat trick 🤣 wish I was that cool.

There is a different kind of flamingo. They don’t play croquet, more of fly on them. Watching them on it makes me think of ���Choking the Chicken” 😂☠️

How trippy is it to make a reality extend when you enter it from another door. Press of a button, boom the rest of the roof of a building, plus the remaining part of the decaying world.

Definitely a good thing that SC was doing Karate in the real world. Helps her to be able to escape. Then she takes a flamingo through the forest almost like she’s racing on Endor with Leia 🤣

It would be so weird to sit in a room full of eyeballs just staring at you. And way to have terrible hiding skills. Literally they hid behind a pillar but there were people coming form the left. They so would have seen them 🙄

Alice of course brings down the house and wins. She set Wonderland free from the evil queen of hearts.

Thanks for reading!

Toke on! 😶‍🌫️

-RRR

#caterina scorsone #philip winchester #alan gray #andrew lee potts #dave 'sasquach' ward #kathy bates #colum meaney #tim curry #matt frewer #Eugene Lipinski

[constanteyeburn]

My headcannons of my favorite characters being terrified of spiders

Daredevil/Matt Murdock

(After he told them he was daredevil) whenever he senses a spider in the office he’ll immediately go to Foggy or Karen and point out where it is exactly and be like “remove it immediately try not to kill it..”

Yes his no killing rule applies to spiders.

(Not a spider headcannon but i can’t just not include it) That rule applies to flies too. He’ll trap them in a cup or a bottle and then send them out. Sometimes they fly back in and he’s stuck in that cycle until it flies away.

When he senses a spider at home he’ll immediately hone in his senses on it and monitor it to make sure it’s not coming towards him. He can be occupied by that for hours.

Tries to focus his senses on other things like Karen or Foggy.

Hears stick in his head telling him to “man up” and that “it’s just a stupid bug matty. don’t be such a wuss.” He feels down for hours after that.

Foggy

Loves spiders. Absolutely adores them.

(idk how college dorms work but,) He would’ve kept a spider as a pet in college but Matt was very resistant. They tried for a compromise but Matt said he would ask for a new roommate if Foggy got a spider. Nothing personal Matt just wouldn’t be able to handle it. Foggy was put out by that but they were fine the next day.

Was the designated spider person as a kid. Was definitely called over to kill a spider multiple times a week. His answer was always “I’ll just let it out” and proceeded to pick it up with his bare hands..[me- shuddering at the thought. my dad does that. literally how??]

Subtly (AND FONDLY) makes fun of Matt’s fear of spiders in casual conversation sometimes. Just drops a “only way to get Matt out of the office is to mention that there’s a spider in there.”

He especially likes to bring it up when Matt is flirting. Just goes “I mean sure he’s super confident and brave until a furry monster crawls onto the table that he’s eating on.”

Bruce Wayne/Lego Batman

Is not afraid to shout “ALFRED THERES A SPIDER IN THE BATCAVE”

Will sprint full speed away from spiders

Has begged alfred to help him create an anti-spider spray.

[honestly i think dick would love spiders too but for this purpose i’m going to pretend he’s terrified of them too] Dick yells for his batdad when he sees a spider in his robin suit thinking that fearless batman could help him..Bruce went down the fireman pole into the cave, saw the spider, and went straight back up the pole. it was Alfred’s job to take care of the spider once more.

His no killing rule does not apply to spiders sorry spiders

At a Justice League meeting he once saw a spider on the table and honest to god threw 5 batarangs at it. The first 4 missed with how sloppily he threw them. The 5th one hit his target exactly. The league stared at him utterly dumbfounded and he stared at them for a few awkward moments before he grinned, then said “I’m batman” and left the meeting. [bro i’m gonna use that for every batman now i don’t care if it doesn’t fit their character it does now.]

Also at a JL meeting there was a spider on his arm and he panicked and wildly shook his arm. The spider flew off and he stared at it before throwing a smoke bomb at it. Once again the league stared at him. Someone muttered “we seriously have this dude apart of this team?” Batman took great offense to that and exclaimed “Heck yeah you got this dude apart of the team! Super epic batman.” he then crossed his arms looking smug and said “batman out” and threw down another smoke bomb.

Oliver Queen/Green Arrow

Spiders just kinda disgust him-especially when he was younger. He’ll immediately kill them on sight.

Back when he and bruce were attending the same school bruce would always ask oliver to kill spiders for him. He would always make fun of bruce for being unable to kill them himself.

Their friendship carried on into their adulthood. After both oliver and bruce’s identities have been revealed to the league batman makes silent eye contact with green arrow and green arrow shoots spiders down for batman.

Oliver once saw a spider in the bathroom on the mirror and without thinking he just straight up shot the mirror. He had no idea how to explain what happened as he was very clearly dressed as a vigilante. He just booked it and prayed no one figured out it was him. (He did bring the arrow thank you very much. He wasn’t that stupid.)

Klaus Hargreeves

Spiders unnerve him especially after he was locked in with ghosts. There were so many spiders in the corners. He tries not to think about that.

Pesters Ben into possessing him and killing the spider for him. Ben always relents and does it.

Will sometimes ask Diego to throw a knife at the spider or something.

Has asked Allison to rumor a spider once. Allison called him an idiot and laughed in his face.

Can sometimes trap the spider in a glass. He had absolutely no idea what to do after he trapped it so he just left it there and put a heavy object on top of the glass to make sure it wouldn’t escape.

Hangs out in the void and absolutely relishes in the fact that he’s never seen a spider in there.

Has asked Luther to get rid of a spider for him. Luther does it everytime. He always says “you need to get over this fear Klaus. You cant let a simple spider bother you this much.” Klaus notes that it was very similar to the ones Reginald gave him.

#i chose lego batman for this one because he’s stupid like me & i love him #dick grayson #Lego dick grayson too because he’s super bubbly i love him too #daredevil #I love daredevil too #like halfway through i realized i accidentally created a rainbow with their names and so i just went with it #foggy nelson #matt headcannons #foggy headcannons #lego batman headcannons #lego batman #side note Brucie & Ollie are totally friends..i have yet to read a single comic and yes i do feel bad abt that but eh. #just realized this is marvel AND dc on the same post. #klaus hargreeves #klaus headcannons #alfred pennyworth

[signalwatch]

90's Watch: South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut (1999)

If you'd told me in 1998 or so that South Park, the goofy animated construction-paper show on a young Comedy Central would now be a permanent part of the cultural landscape in 2023, you could have knocked me over with a feather. 

Like any 20-something with cable, I was a watcher of the show and in 1999, shocked to see they were going to the big screen.  

July 4, 1999, Austin received some rain and fireworks were unlikely.  The folks who'd assembled at our apartment decided to load up and go see the movie to extend our day.  Mostly what I remember was that the theater was only partially full, and almost immediately, people were trickling out.  

The notion of "adult animation" is now taken for granted, but "animation" in 1999 was still all-ages in the minds of many, and "for children" in the minds of just as many more.  So I'm sure those moms who took their little Cartmans to see the film had very long talks with their kids on the way home and now had to do the work of parenting and understanding what their kids were watching that they'd hoped basic cable packages would take care of.

And, oh my, did the South Park creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, take advantage of what it means to have a hard-R rating.  No one is more foul-mouthed than kids trying on profanity, and to this day, that movie contains some of the most creative uses and best word pictures celebrating a dirty mouth of anything I can think of.  It's kind of glorious.  

However, the genuine shock of the film is that it was....  great.  It moves at a rocket pace, it's wildly entertaining, it understands the language and tropes of film and uses them like a Swiss Army knife, it has an evergreen premise and point (one that it's hard to believe the same audience for this movie in 1999 has forgotten in this era as imaginary issues and invisible monsters are the driving platform of a major political party), and the music is as good or better than anything in a musical of the last 40 years.  All while spoofing same.

Like anything dabbling in offensive material, some items were way too much for audiences then, most still plays, and some bits wouldn't make it now without causing distracting controversy.  Man, we loved our homophobic slurs in the late 20th century.  

But it seems the little 22 minute homilies of the South Park episodes had well trained Trey Parker in particular (he wrote the music and seems to have been the major force behind the film) to make a thinly veiled point, outline the absurdity of human behavior, take the piss out of it, and move on to the next topic.

If you can't remember, the plot of the film:

Canadian TV stars Terrance and Phillip have their own movie coming out.  As huge Terrance and Phillip fans, the lead kids of SP go to the movie only to find out it's a Rated-R picture, and so after sneaking in, they find out what a Rated-R film might contain in the way of horrendously offensive language.  

In addition to bringing the language into school, all of the kids see the movie, and in a moment of post-movie debate about whether one could light a fart on fire IRL, Kenny goes en fuego and, being Kenny, dies.  While Kenny is sent to hell to go negotiate the romantic life of Satan and a manipulative SOB Saddam Hussein, Kyle's mom takes it upon herself to start a literal war with Canada over the potty-mouthed Terrance and Phillip, who are being held for an execution within the US.

I'm skimming, to be sure.  

But the point is - it's kind of amazing to see, of all the movies from 1999, this one might feel so evergreen and on point.  Parker and Stone weren't stupid.  Giving them the platform of a film and R rating was going to cause some kerfuffles.  And they also weren't wrong that the parents who paid no attention to what their kids were up to would be mad that those same kids both saw and processed media without the parents paying any damn attention, and managed to deflect blame onto others while also caring way, way too much about their kids defying their expectations and inverting their concern back onto people who had done nothing wrong.  

Like I said, people trickled out of the movie, and among those were parents who had somehow selected the South Park movie, driven to see it, paid to see it and sat down for it with their kid and had no idea what they were in for.  

Of course the movie is chock-a-block of now dated references and Parker and Stone's peculiar thing of thinking that just showing a celebrity is funny in itself.  Ex: The Winona Ryder bit is confusing (and clearly a failed reference to a scene from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert).  Like, maybe there are insidery LA things about celebrities I don't know, but I don't know them.  So.

It's also a reminder that Mary Kay Bergman passed before the work she did was nominated for an Oscar, as "Blame Canada" was nominated, and, in fact, performed at the 2000 Academy Awards ceremony.  Y'all pour one out for Mary Kay Bergman.

Anyway, it was a delight to watch again.  And, of course, wonder if there isn't room for a Broadway show of the movie.  

https://ift.tt/eWbfYSO

from The Signal Watch https://ift.tt/XRIiYu4

#south park #animation #movies #movie review

[allsoulspriory]

Blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.” — Matt 11:6

Our Lord put within reach of His noble Forerunner the blessedness of those who have not seen and yet have believed; of those who trust Him though they are slain; of those who wait for the Lord’s pleasure; and of those who cannot understand His dealings, but rest in what they know of His heart. This is the beatitude of the unoffended, those who do not stumble over the mystery of God’s dealings with their life.

This Blessedness is within our reach also. Sometimes, we are overpowered by the mystery of life and nature. The world is so full of pain and sorrow that strong hearts seem to be breaking under an intolerable load. God’s children are sometimes the most bitterly tried. For them, the fires are heated seven times; they suffer, not only at the hand of man, but the heavens seem as brass to their cries and tears. The enemy of souls has reason to challenge them with the taunt, “Where is now your God?”

You and I have perhaps been in this plight. We have said, “Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?” We are tempted to stumble; we are prone to fall over the mysteries of God’s dealings with us. But it is then that we have the chance of inheriting this new beatitude. If we refuse to bend under the mighty hand of God—questioning, chafing, murmuring at His appointments—we miss the door that would admit us into rich and unalloyed happiness; we fumble about the latch, but it is not lifted. But if we quiet our souls like a weaned child, anointing our heads and washing our faces, then light will break in on us from the eternal morning. The peace of God will keep our hearts and minds, and we shall enter upon this blessedness of which our Lord speaks.

Prayer

Forgive our sins, our faithless tears, and our repining murmurs. Lift us on the tide of Thy love into fuller, more prosperous, more profound experiences. May we know what it is to have Christ in us, the Hope of Glory. Amen.

#allsoulspriory #paxabbey #thefellowshipcorner #christsapostoliccatholicchurch #dailywalk #frjohnpax #axiomsofanurbanpriest

[luvsturniolo]

hii, i love your writing sm ! if it's not too much to ask, could you please do a fic where the reader is matt's girlfriend and he dresses her up in his clothes partly as a joke but also because he thinks it would be cute. i just keep imagining the reader wearing his t-shirts or button up's and baggy jeans/jorts and she's trying to wear his shoes but they're too big on her and matt's just DYING at it. basically just a super cute, fluff moment. thank you sm!

— ★ !! wardrobe

pairing : matt sturniolo x fem!reader

synopsis : while casually hanging out, matt has the bright idea to dress you up in his clothes as a joke. but he's quickly taken aback when he sees you in them.

a/n : wait this request is so cute , i hope i do it justice 😭

wc : 0.6k

you've been dating matt for a few months now and his house has quickly become your favorite place. it's so relaxing in comparison to your own.

earlier today, you were overtaken with boredom. so you texted matt, asking him you pick you up. of course, he agreed. you've been lounging around his house for an hour or two, basking in the comfort that comes with being in your boyfriend's presence. 

you guys have watched a few movies, baked a pizza, and simply enjoyed being together. 

you're currently lying on matt's bed, scrolling through your instagram feed while he sits at his desk, writing something down in his journal.

despite not doing anything productive, neither of you could ever get sick of this. you've both come to realize that simply being together —even if it's boring to an outside perspective — is both of your guys' favorite thing to do.

suddenly, matt's head perks up at a random thought. you glance over in his direction to see him already looking at you with a wide smile on his face.

you laugh, "what?"

"nothing, nothing." he replies easily. "i just had a random idea that could be fun."

"well, let's hear it." you say, setting your phone down on the mattress beside you. you turn your full attention to matt as you urge him to tell you his idea.

he sets his pen in the crease of his notebook and before closing it, the pen becoming a bookmark so he can continue to journal later.

"what if," he begins, "you let me dress you up?"

"dress me up?" you repeat, laughing at the strange request. "my clothes are at my place and, no offense, but i don't think yours would fit me."

"exactly." matt says. "the fact that they won't fit is what'll make it so fun to do."

you tilt your head at him, still a little bit confused as to what's going on in his mind. 

matt gives you a grin before standing up from his chair and walking over to his closet. he opens the doors and begins rummaging through random clothing articles.

before long, he settles on a pair of his jean shorts and a baggy hoodie. he holds them up to show you his choices and you laugh.

"matt, that hoodie is too large for you. it's gonna completely engulf me." you tell him.

"pleaseeeeeee!" he pleads. "just try it on. it'll be funny!"

you breathe out a laugh before getting up from his bed and taking the clothes out of his hands. you leave his room and enter the bathroom. you strip out of your current clothing and replace them with matt's.

you look down at yourself and scrunch your eyebrows at your appearance. why is matt so interested in seeing you wear his clothes? in your eyes, you look extremely goofy.

regardless of how you feel, you reenter his bedroom and do a dramatic twirl to show off your outfit.

"cute, huh?" you ask him with a laugh. but matt doesn't respond. he's too busy staring at you — almost as if he genuinely thinks you look half decent. 

"yes." matt finally replies, completely serious about his answer. you give him a weird look, waiting for him to laugh or say it's a joke. but he doesn't. he just keeps staring.

"wait, for real?" you ask.

matt looks you in the eyes before stepping closer to you, "you look adorable, y/n. for real."

he takes your face in his hands, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on your lips. you can feel him smile against your lips and you get an unreal amount of butterflies from the tiny gesture. 

when the kiss is broken, he continues to cup your cheeks as he admires every indivual feature of your face.

"you're so weird." you tell him.

"maybe," he agrees, "but you like my weirdness."

you tip your head upward to kiss him again before saying, "yeah. i really do."

tags : @kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @uhnanix @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @deadxrx @kitaysworld @slaysturniolo

#luvsturniolo!! #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo head canons #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #cute #fluff #clothes

[cinemacentral666]

The House That Jack Built (2018)

Movie #1,082 • Ranking Lars von Trier #10

For the sake of changing shit up, I decided to watch the Lars von Trier filmography out of order. I formulated the order somewhat randomly, keeping the trilogies intact but otherwise jumping from era to era. Having completed his most recent work, 2018's The House That Jack Built, I can definitively say that this was a terrible idea.

[Ed. Note: In fact, it was such a bad idea that I quickly reverted to a mostly chronological viewing schedule.]

For starters, similarly to Peter Greenaway's later work, the director specifically references his own earlier work in this, inserting actual clips of films I've yet to see in the middle of the chaos. This is self-indulgence in its purest form and I am here for it, but damn if I could do it over again.

That being said, just as the enigmatic UK post-punk combo The Fall were famously described by DJ John Peel, I already feel you could ascribe the saying "always different, always the same" to Mr. Sunshine Lars von Trier as well. There are seemingly no parallels to his earlier work–aside from his devotion to utterly bleak and unending human pain — until, that is, you start seeing them everywhere: the handheld camerawork, his stark and repetitive use of non-diegetic pop music, period pieces that somehow feel like they don't belong to any timeframe, and so on and so on...

The House That Jack Built is actually the third major motion picture to have that title, The House That Jack Built. The first, a short silent drama film from England in the year 1900 clocking in at 54 seconds long, and the second, an 8-minute Canadian animated movie, are both direct adaptations of the nursery rhyme "This Is the House That Jack Built." The House That Jack Built (2018), if you can believe it, is not.

This is a 2.5-hour film about a serial killer played by Matt Dylan recounting his crimes to Roman poet Virgil as he descends the layers of hell. It's absurd by design but what's even more audacious are the sheer amount of themes LVT attempts to hit on here. Art, life, gender, death, just to name a few. Every pathway isn't a winner, but damn I kind of loved this for the effort alone. For as barebones as Dogma 95 attempted to be, the bulk of his career has been full-on maximalism. I've yet to feel bored watching any of his films.

From the opening of the New York Times feature piece, "Is Lars von Trier Trolling Us?"...

Near the end of my interview with Lars von Trier, I asked if he was trolling women in his latest, “The House That Jack Built.” He said he didn’t know what trolling meant, so I explained, even as I wondered if he was feigning ignorance and actually trolling me.

As if you couldn't take a man who looks like this at face value?!

This question is certainly related to the thread in The House That Jack Built about how only men are the ones who are born guilty. And it is 100% a troll move. The troll is that he's baiting people into wanting to think that this is also, somehow, an idealization of that sentiment. But I don't know how you could watch this and actually think that men are innocent? Matt Dylan is LITERALLY a serial killer. I never felt a shred of sympathy towards him. That some ideas are offensive does not mean that you need feel offended by their existence.

On some level, I might agree with you that Trier is a master pilot… who can't land the plane. I think he excels in the ultra longform because he needs the room to try. There are so many big ideas at play and so many different styles, risks and tactics that there's nearly no chance of it all coming together. The beauty, in my eyes, is in the attempt. And if his films are filled with hate, it seems like a self-hate, for having the audience soldier on in the face of all these miserable thoughts and compulsions which he's brought to life. I can kinda relate. Life is confusing and weird and full of sadness. That checks out.

SCORE: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ll be counting down all of Lars Von Trier’s movies right here at @cinemacentral666 every Thursday through September 2023

#9 #lars von trier director #matt dillon #uma thurman #2018 #bruno ganz #horror #siobhan fallon hogan #sofie gråbøl #riley keough #jeremy davies #🇩🇰

[yearofthemagicaltorment]

Weekly Round-up December 11th

What I tried this week -

Ipsy - Someone gave me a free Ipsy bag so I’m giving that a try. When you sign up for the service, they constantly offer you add-ons from their store. This is sort of like the Allure Member Store except with better marketing. They got me twice with it. 

The first time I purchased Clean Skin Club Clean Skin Towels and probably about 300 pimple patches. I know that sounds excessive but when I get a breakout I am constantly using those damn things. These two items together were $15.

The next thing I purchased was Kate Somerville Kx Concentrates Squalane + Hyaluronic Serum. I love HA’s and Squalane and the combination sounds really wonderful. Plus I can use this with my skin tools. This item was $18. 

Skincare - 

Droplette, Oneskin, and Lyma Laser - I started this routine two nights ago and am very excited about it. I take pictures prior to starting in order to document the process. I do not have a full review of any of these items as they all require time so I will follow up in a month with before and after photos. 

Kate Somerville - DermalQuench Hyaluronic Acid Hydration Treatment - This is an interesting HA. The bottle somehow infuses the HA with oxygen when it sprays it out. It doesn’t take much to hydrate your face. When I put it on it immediately plumps and hydrates. It was a steal at half-off. I do not love the smell though. I’m not sure if I’m doing something wrong but there is a chemical smell when you spray. I just assume it’s from the spray bottle itself. 

Makeup -

I tried Pat McGrath's matte lipsticks and balms this week. The balms were exquisite. They were moisturizing with just a hint of color. The lipstick, on the other hand, oof, I’m not a huge fan of the formula. While it is not drying, it takes an abnormally long time to dry. Like, maybe a half hour or more. I didn’t time it, but the point is it took way longer than it should have. The color I tried was Elson. I’m a sucker for red. 

It is a blue red but it wasn’t the perfect deep red I was hoping for but it wasn’t bad. Nars Dragon Girl is closer, plus the Nars formula is amazing. I highly recommend it. 

Natasha Denona Bloom Palette - I had a lot of fun with this one this week. I love highlighter and this one is full of it. I also love that red color blush. It kind of gives off that French Girl Chic vibe. You can blend it out or amp it up. It’s really our call. I picked it up for half off and it was totally worth the price. I also recommend it as a holiday eye palette.

Food

Sakara Life - 

I completed my first week of the Sakara Life Metabolism Reset. The food was better than I expected. It is still expensive with the discount. Don’t do the math on the per-meal cost, it will just piss you off. I am doing this to try to teach myself how to eat and to try to show my partner that healthy (vegetarian, maybe even vegan food can taste good). With cancer, I’d like him to have all the good he can in his body to fight. Although there are times I’m just happy he’s eating at all. 

Anyway, the food. The metabolism reset does not come with breakfast, it comes with the metabolism shake. The shake is bitter. It tastes like almost straight cocoa powder. Adding honey makes it tolerable. The lunch is usually a salad that is extremely large. I can usually eat about half to 3/4. If it’s something other than salad like noodles I get pretty close to finishing. I have yet to finish lunch. 

Snack - Metabolism Bar - these are okay. They are supposed to taste like chocolate and sea salt. They are chewy protein bars with sea salt. Chocolate is a stretch but they aren’t bad. 

Dinner is usually very tasty. I had this Bolognese that was just delicious. I ate it all. The “meat” was not offensive. The sauce was fresh. It even tasted like it had cheese even though it didn’t. I had some other meals that I would eat again but that was for sure my favorite.

Detox Tea - This tea is lovely. You drink it before bed and it is supposed to help you digest. Along with this, you get vitamins/probiotics that you take in the morning to help with digestion. There are so many vegetables so there is a lot of digestion occurring on. 

I asked for a change to breakfast and dinner. They will be changing me over for the last two weeks of this program. I am very excited about this change because their breakfast looks absolutely amazing. 

What I received this week -

Kinder Beauty Dusk Box and Balance Box. These were part of the Mystery Box (2-Box Collection) that I received for a total of $38 on Black Friday. They both had 5 products in each, including hair, makeup, and skincare. These were a great deal and I highly recommend picking up these mystery boxes if they become available again.

Pat McGrath - Eye Shadow Divine Mink (single) and Mascara - this was from the sale when everything was $12. This was one of the best deals of the season. It was even better when it was stacked with a promo code making it $10.

Perricone MD - Growth Factor Firming and Lifting Eye Serum - this was half off through GMA Deals. Again I highly recommend this site. However, I later found a deal for Perricone using code 55Holiday that provided 55 percent off. This offer is valid until 12/31/2022 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time or while supplies last so if this is your brand or a brand you would like to try, go now. 

Speaking of deals!

The Melt Cosmetics Mystery bundles are back. These are the December version. The Black Friday Large Bundle is still available. If you click on the description it will give you an idea of what is in it but the colors are a surprise. 

The $25 bundle does require a shipping fee (unless you can find a code that this purchase combines with). It is still a great value. I am passing this time as my cup is overflowing with makeup. I will however be on the lookout for these deals in the future. 

What I ordered -

The Ipsy add-ons - What can I say? They got me.

Sakara Life - 3 times a week Breakfast and Dinner starting January 2nd. That is after I complete the 5-day-a-week Metabolism Reset program. I did find a promo code (friends) that got me 20 percent off for the first week. Also, my credit card gives me 7.5 percent back. 

Sakara Life - Digestive Tea and Detox Bars - I ordered these with my rewards points so they were free. You earn 1 point per dollar until a certain spending level then it increases up from there.

Perricone MD - No Makeup Eye Shadow and Highlighter (using code 55Holiday). These have skincare ingredients in them and I thought they would be handy for the days that I don’t wear eyeshadow. The highlighter I thought I would try on my no-makeup days. 

Ella + Mila - Nail care collection - it's currently 39% off. My nails are out of control and weak right now. I need to strengthen them so hopefully, this works!

What else happened this week?

I wrapped most of the gifts I purchased and baked cookies. My partner had chemo so he is sleeping a lot. During this time he prefers to sleep over eating so I went to the bakery and got him treats that I know will keep him interested in food. We also started watching Wednesday as a family, which is really nice. 

What’s going on with you guys?  Did you try any good products this week? Anything getting you into the holiday spirit?

#self care #wellness #skincare #beauty #makeup #skincare products #cancer #caretaker #family #christmas #sakara life #chemotherapy #grateful #lots of love

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Headcanons of Edd, Matt, Tord, Tom, Patryk and Paul coming across their S/o, who is holding Minus!Tord in their arms and appearantly has befriend him?

Any of the guys: Whatcha got there?

S/O, holding Minus!Tord: A smoothie

..............

Edd

At first he's like "WOAH COOL ALIEN DEMON TORD!!!"

But since Minus Tord is an alternate version of his ex-friend, Edd's understandably wary of his intentions.

The little guy reassures him he's not gonna take over the world. He's been hanging out with you and learning about cool earth things(tm).

He's got stories to share about other Minus mods likes himself (ie Minus Tricky, Zardy, etc.). They're all just creatuers who live simple existences.

All in all Edd's cool with Minus Tord...except the latter's appetite for bacon (an all-too-familiar problem Edd and the real Tord had way back when).

Matt

"Awwww tiny Tord you're so cute omg!!"

"Matt, please-"

He thinks Minus Tord is the cutest little thing and is 100% harmless.

At least until he tries petting his horns/hair and the devilish creature bites him in return.

Cut to Matt crying hysterically as you try to bandage his bleeding fingers (think of that Camp Camp scene when David got his hand stabbed by a pocket knife) while Minus Tord stands nearby in annoyance.

"Be lucky it wasn't your face."

Tord

"Ah, I see there's more of me for you to love now."

He just has the biggest grin as he sees this little demon creature in your arms tho he thinks he (Tord) should be the one in your arms instead.

He'd def teach Minus Tord all about human weaponry and would be awestruck when the latter shows off Minus Tordbot.

Tord jokes about trying to take over the world again but Minus Tord would rather cuddle with you and take a nap-

In a way, your bf's a dad now.

Tom

*screams in terror* "GET YOUR DOG B I T C H"

"He don't bite-"

"YES HE DO."

Minus Tord is just as bad as the real deal--not to mention being an attention hog who drags you away to show off his inventions.

So Tom threatens him with a harpoon, which terrifies Minus Tord (not bc of the connection to the harpoon that destroyed Tordbot, but bc human weaponry in general scares him).

Ofc it backfires as he just runs into your arms and you glare at Tom.

Patryk

"Since when did our leader become so....short?"

Minus Tord takes full offense but you manage to calm him down.

"Pat here is a pilot...didn't you say you piloted your own robot head?"

And that's how a friendship formed between them.

While swapping aircrafts for a day, Pat had zero clue on how to fly Minus Tordbot and nearly crashes it a few times.

And Minus Tord was confused by all the controls of the plane and flew into another cloudberg.

Paul

He's seen weird stuff during his time in the Red Army.

But a mini devilish version of his leader?? Who also sings??? That's strange as hell.

Minus Tord would prob take advantage of his confusion and order him to do random shit (and Paul would bc he doesn't know wtf to do).

Tho you intervene and pick him up like "hey, no bossing my bf around..only Tord or I get to do that."

You wink at Paul, who blushes a bit but says nothing.

#clanask #anonymous #ew edd x reader #ew tom x reader #ew matt x reader #ew tord x reader #ew paul x reader #ew patryk x reader #fnf x reader #headcanons #minus tord #eddsworld x reader

[captainofthetidesbreath]

I'm actually playing a Hexblade and I'm super interested in how Travis has set up his character! If you're willing, I'd love to hear more about the different aspects that play well together.

Can I get the same range without taking three levels of paladin? Is it the Star Razor that gives the edge for the spells, or do you think any weapon would work? Why do you think he took the feats he did?

I rewatched the Mighty Nein vs Vox Machina, and I was struck by how much Fjord did that fight. Beau was full offense, Laura really capitalized on their Trickery aspect, but Fjord seemed to switch roles on every players turn, not even just the round!

I think you can absolutely get the same range with a straight hexblade!

A lot of what Travis accomplishes with Fjord is honestly a function of a killer Con score and good warlock builing. If you're alright with not having healing ability, then you don't need the paladin levels at all. Fjord is, largely, a warlock. Besides that it is largely narrative focused, paladin levels allow Travis to access healing magic, smite spells, and more lower level spell slots.

You'll be sacrificing healing capability, which isn't possible for a hexblade to access without double-dipping, but you absolutely can get a decent amount of mobility-based flexibility without multiclassing. You just have to be change around your Invocations and spells a little and be more careful about your spell slot usage.

Travis gets the flexibility he does with Fjord through mobility and survivability. Switching between playing ranged harassment and close-range threat, maintaining range for Counterspell, being close enough to hep allies, he can do this because distance is largely trivial to him and incoming damage when playing closer to frontline is not a huge concern. Tough increases his survivability, and Mobile gives him, well, mobility and survivability (with the nullified opportunity attacks). War Caster is a staple for spellcasters and I always recommend—the increased ability to maintain concentration through damage is critical. These help him be able to more confidently making his positioning choices, particularly in making it easier to commit to melee.

Travis' build emphasizes mobility because that's the best way to use Fjord's extremes in range and easily peel for the large party, who all prefer to play at different ranges. Quickly moving from being Beau's flanking partner to defending Caleb when there's the entire field between them is critical when aiming for the ability to change roles and who you're supporting on a dime. There is no transitional turn necessary when you can cross space in a single step; look to how many times Yasha has to spend an entire time simply moving.

I love the Star Razor, but what makes it very good is it's suited to Travis' playstyle. I've written in the past about the mechanics of the Star Razor: one here and one here. It encourages Fjord's range flexibility, but it doesn't invent it. So, I think any weapon you personally like would replace it. In general, items with spells are a warlock's friend because they allow you to cast without expending a spell slot, and the most important thing is you have items (not just weapons too) that cast stuff you like. Duskcrusher can serve a hexblade fine, for example.

If you're a big fan of the splash damage, I do suggest considering Armor of Agathys or Shadow of Moil, two spells Travis used that probably influenced Matt's decision to give the Star Razor its passive splashback. I don't think one needs as many teleports as Fjord had, but Far Step, Thunder Step, Misty Step, Dimension Door, and Relentless Hex are all warlock teleport options to choose from. Relentless Hex is a must have; it works extremely well with all weapon-based hexblade builds because it easily allows closing distance. I'd also recommend taking Thunder Step or Dimension Door, for the ability to reposition an ally, and Far Step, which allows you to teleport per turn of concentration. Fly is a warlock spell, as is Counterspell. Since you're not dipping into paladin, take the Eldritch Smite invocation, which actually does a 6d8 at 5th level instead of capping at 5d8 like Divine Smite does.

Personally, I think if you're interested in tanking as a hexblade, you should consider taking the Tomb of Levistus Invocation. If you have room in your Invocations list, you can also take Eldritch Mind and take a different feat instead of War Caster.

Between all that, you've basically given yourself the mobility, you just only need to play carefully and considerately from there. Much of what Travis accomplishes is his team-oriented playstyle and his spatial awareness in combat. Having these options doesn't automatically create the playstyle, it rather facilitates a general desire to be helpful to teammates and be able to be at their side as soon as possible.

#Critical Role things #CR #long post for ts

[mandelene]

✿: feeling so out of it, they need constant attention

You’ve got it! 💕  Thanks for the ask!

Someone asked me to write asthmatic Matthew in the ER a while ago, and I didn’t do it, but here it is now. 😂 I hope it's not total trash.

Sweet Normalcy

Word Count: 1555

Chest pain, the dull aching kind that flares up every time he inhales, that’s all he feels. Keeping his eyes open takes a great deal of effort, but the constant hissing flow of nebulized albuterol being delivered through the mask on his face makes it hard to get any sleep. Maintaining a train of thought for longer than fifteen seconds is also a sudden challenge. When he rolls his head to the right and looks up at the monitor behind him, he sees his heart rate is in the 140s and his oxygen saturation is at ninety-five percent on albuterol and oxygen. That’s not normal for him. None of this is normal. He can’t remember the last time things got this out of control.

“Matthew? Any better, love?” Dad asks him from the chair to his left. He’s been sitting there for hours now, continuously keeping vigilant watch.

It’s a busy night in the emergency department, and it feels a bit like he’s in a bad fever dream. The doctor checking in on him introduced herself earlier, but he can’t recall her name. An alarm goes off every few minutes from someone’s monitor, and it takes him longer than it should to recognize that it’s his monitor making that noise and alerting his nurse to keep coming over to assess him due to his seesawing oxygen saturation and heart rate.

Matthew’s not even sure what time it is anymore. He barely remembers anything. Every hour or so, he will doze off into a fitful half-sleep for twenty minutes or so before waking again and feeling disoriented. A nurse could tell him he’s been here for a week, and he’d believe them.

“Matthew? I asked if you’re feeling any better?” Dad asks again, leaning forward in his seat to grab his clammy left hand and squeeze it gently.

“A little,” Matthew lies, for his father’s sake. He wonders where Alfred and Papa are. They were here earlier, he’s pretty sure.

“I can tell when you’re not being truthful,” Dad sighs, squeezing his hand harder. “You’re not improving. You need to be admitted. This is ridiculous. You should have been admitted hours ago.”

Matthew hates seeing him stressed like this, but he also knows there’s nothing he can do about it at the moment. He feels himself slipping into momentary sleep again, and his eyes flutter shut. He wants to go home. Wants to be in his bed…Is it morning yet?

“Sixteen-year-old with a history of asthma…Patient accompanied by his father. Patient began oral corticosteroid treatment two days ago at home after experiencing wheezing, chest tightness, and coughing that was not fully improving with usual rescue medications…”

They’re talking about him—Matthew realizes that much, at least. He opens his glazed eyes and sees a new doctor approaching him. His ID badge says he’s a critical care doctor. Matthew’s not sure what the difference is between him and the other doctor he saw earlier, but he honestly can’t be bothered to care. He wants to sleep. Desperately. And he wants the chest pain to stop.

“Matthew, buddy?” the doctor says, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He doesn’t want to breathe anymore. His chest hurts too much, and speaking would require taking another agonizing breath.

"Mmmrgh" is all he can manage.

“He’s been less and less responsive,” Dad supplies from the other side of the room, and Matthew can hear the nervousness in his voice, which is unsettling. Dad rarely ever shows how anxious he is when someone’s sick. “I can’t get him to talk to me in full sentences anymore—just phrases.”

The doctor carefully sits him up, and Matthew feels his whole body shake. He rests his elbows against the stretcher to brace himself. A cold stethoscope touches his back, and he shivers.

“He’s still not moving air. He needs to be brought upstairs to intensive care to be monitored. We’ll continue IV steroid treatment and continuous albuterol. If he’s still like this, we can consider non-invasive ventilation and take it from there. Our main priority is to protect his airway.” 

Dad says something, but Matthew doesn’t hear it over the noise of the nebulizer. He just knows he’s going to be moved soon and the treatment is going to become more serious now. If he weren’t so tired, he might be scared.

The doctor leaves, and Dad goes back to holding Matthew’s hand. “It’s going to be all right, love. You’ll receive better care soon and hopefully, you’ll start to feel better,” Dad tells him before using his other hand to pet his head. “Try to rest. I’ll be right here, and I won’t let anything happen to you, understand?” 

Matthew nods. His eyes do close again, and he does get some brief rest. The next time he’s aware of his surroundings and wakes up, he’s already in the ICU, which means he slept through his transport. The respiratory therapist is setting him up on a BiPAP machine, and once it’s on, it makes his chest hurt even more, which he didn’t think was possible. He grits his teeth against the pain and tries not to make a fuss about it—it would just make Dad worry even more. The air being forced into his lungs is welcome yet excruciating at the same time.

But he doesn’t have to say anything for Dad to know he’s suffering. It’s written all over his face. “I know, poppet. It’s just temporary. It should help.” 

It’s so exhausting that he falls asleep again without even needing to think about it. Again, he has no idea how much time passes until he sees the sun shining through the windows of the hospital, indicating that it’s finally morning. The BiPAP mask squeezing his face gets replaced with a regular oxygen mask again, and it occurs to him that his chest feels much lighter and his head is clearer. The worst is over. The air in his lungs feels crisp and refreshing...Almost sweet, even. 

“How are you feeling?” Dad asks for the millionth time, still perched next to him. 

“Better…For real this time.” 

Dad hasn’t slept, of course. He never sleeps in such situations. He was likely watching him all night and conversing with his care team. “Good. You gave us all quite a scare.” 

“Sorry.”

“Oh, no, it’s not your fault, love. Not at all…Do you think you’re feeling well enough to have some breakfast?” 

“Yeah.” 

Dad gives him a relieved smile and then goes off to request a breakfast tray for him. It gets brought up within half an hour, and even though Matthew feels a bit nauseous from the steroids in his system, he knows he needs to eat to gain some energy back.

He’s given some pancakes, a fruit cup, and orange juice. He decides to make a move for the orange juice first because his mouth feels incredibly dry and gross. He picks up the carton and that’s when he notices just how shaky he still is. His hands are trembling violently from all of the bronchodilators in his system.

Dad quickly takes the carton from him, sticks a straw into it, and then brings it back up to Matthew’s lips. “Here, poppet, I’ll hold it for you.” 

“…I can do it.” 

“You’ll spill it. Don’t be stubborn.”

It doesn’t feel great to have poorer motor skills than a toddler, but Matthew sips some juice through the straw anyway, allowing himself to be fed because he doesn’t have a choice. He finishes the entire carton, one pancake, and half of the fruit cup before his stomach protests. Dad doesn’t seem too happy about him not finishing the meal, but he doesn’t push it either. 

And just as he’s finishing up, he finds out Alfred and Papa are outside of the unit, waiting to be allowed in. He’s only permitted to have two visitors at a time, so Dad leaves to take a quick trip home to eat and shower while Alfred and Papa take watch next. 

“Dude, you’re alive! Thank God, man. No offense, but you were looking really rough and out-of-it yesterday,” Alfred exclaims upon arrival, bright-eyed and full of pep as always. “It’s good to see you’re looking more like yourself now.”

“We’re so relieved, mon chou. Your father said you may be able to come home as soon as the day after tomorrow.” 

“I hope so…Sorry for making everyone worry.” 

Alfred throws his hands up in the air and shakes his head dramatically. “I have to teach you everything, don’t I, Mattie? You’re not supposed to apologize for being sick. You’re supposed to milk it for all its worth and make everyone feel bad for you and buy you get well soon gifts. Tell Dad when he comes back that you wanna play the new Pokemon Snap on the Switch.” 

“That’s what you want to play, Alfred.” 

“Yeah, but we can share it, right?” 

“Alfred, your brother is seriously ill, and all you’re thinking about are video games again! Where did your father and I go wrong? You could show some sympathy!” Papa scolds, pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation.

“It was a joke! Kinda…Obviously, I love ya, Matt! I was really worried, too!” 

And he has never craved normalcy as much as he does now. 

Yup. Things are already going back to normal.

#hetalia #aph canada #hws canada #aph england #hws england #aph france #hws france #aph america #hws america #aph face family #hws face family #drabbles #hurt comfort #asthmatic matthew

[violet-t-9]

Check in on my (not very realistic) wish list for episode 138

1. Nobody dies in the battle against Cree, even temporarily (looking at you, squishy wizards). Everybody survives and defeats her relatively easily.

Ayyye I mean Cree was one vs. 6 basically and of course it was easy enough, I expected this. Bye Cree, I won’t really miss you... WAIT she got controlled after death?? Well, the actual Cree fight was still easy so I’m counting this. The flesh monster version also took less than like, 20 seconds in-game time to beat lol.

2. Caleb or Beau’s eye power come into play whether for them or against them during the combat (telepathy also counts).

Heyyyy Caleb and Beau could pick up on the radio! That is helpful- oh he turned Cree into a flesh monster using the eyes... oh NO everyone has eyes now except Jester and Yasha. Group telepathy could be useful?? I guess??

3. Beau and Caleb discover the third function of their eyes if there is one (besides true sight and telepathy).

Nope I have no idea. I’m assuming that seeing through illusions and dark vision are separate at this point. That’s fine considering the huge twist that almost all of them have eyes now, like hello?? Caleb also wondered if he has a fourth power now, which we still don’t know about.

4. The party gets some much needed rest, even a short one, after defeating Cree (Bonus: heroes’ feast).

Hey the time shunt thing worked! PERFECTLY! With a 30 and a 24! I love two wizards, my absolute beloved. THANKS ESSEK (and Caleb, but Essek mostly).

5. This is a long shot but still hoping for any mention/sighting of Yussa.

Thanks Caleb for mentioning Yussa! Also Beau was able to try to connect to Yussa thanks to the eyes too! What a cool moment. Also thanks everybody for agreeing to help him lol. Caleb banished him! They saved him! Yayyyyy.

6. More nightmarish body horror and screaming from the cognouza citizens (look, listen, I loved last episode okay, Matt is awesome, horror is my jam).

Yes for the intestine corridor and flesh puddles, also for Cree transformation, also for the threshold crest vault mouth opening thing and for literally everything else in this episode need I explain? As a student of science I am very much enjoying the weird physiology connections with the Cognouza.

7. They meet another member of the Somnovem who offers more information.

Jester’s Calm emotion what a queen, they did meet a Somnovem. Wow I never thought I’d find eternal love so creepy but thanks Gaudius. Gaudius is apparently against Fastidan and Culpasi, nice. Good to know that the Somnovem Omega still does not get along lol. 

8. Beau and Yasha’s PDA or power couple moments (bonus: they talk about mind control, the eyes, or feelings).

OH WOW Yasha has IDEAS about Beau wearing a red cape does she now lol, not subtle at all as expected. Get a room you guys! Not much talking can be done at this point, but nice.

9. Fjord and Jester’s conversation or domesticity (bonus: they talk about hope for the future).

“All we care about is love and unity” LMAO JESTER taking your chance to smooch as much as possible. I’m counting this moment you cannot convince me otherwise.

10. Artagan/Sprinkle comes into play/is mentioned and interaction with Jester.

Yep, they both talked (well, hissed in one case) with Jester. Artagan thought about them going to the feywild too! Fun.

11. Obligatory wish for Essek’s fancy dunamancy or magical items (Bonus: we get to see more high-damage AOE offensive spells).

Magic missile again! At least that will never miss. Sad that he can’t do AOE ever with the party around lol. ALSO THE TIME SHUNT BY THE TWO WIZARDS! The 30 from Essek (dunamancy master indeed!) and the dirty 24 from Caleb, NICE.

12. Obligatory wish for Caleb’s polymorph spell on himself or a party member.

Jester’s polymorph spell was cool too! Jestape? Japester?? I like Japester. Polymorph! Jester’s interactions are also my beloved. It’s not Caleb’s spell, so I’m not counting this one.

13. The party tracks down Lucien and tries to reach him by mentioning Molly.

Well, they attempted to track down Lucien, but really it’s the other way around. 

14. Obligatory wish for Essek’s room in the tower (it will stay until it happens).

Nope, as expected.

15. Obligatory wish for Cad being a MVP in and out of combat also for him to use decompose more on the city, I’m curious to see what happens.

That path to the grave, what a MVP move Cad. TWO TIMES! TWO TIMES! For the HDYWTDT from Veth too! I knew it, Cad is a combat genius. Also nice blight on the fleshy ceiling. Also plane shift to the fire plane! Also that curse word speech what a king.

16. Veth one-on-one RP interaction with any other party member - we had some good tag teams recently, like Veth and Beau, Veth and Yasha, Veth and Essek... I want to see more!

We don’t really have time for RP because this episode was super action-packed but we did have a bunch of nice short moments!

17. Yasha or Fjord being absolutely freaked out/creeped out by the city.

Well to be fair EVERYBODY was super creeped out, so...

18.  The empire siblings don’t get another red eye (well, hopefully this will happen if they won’t get a full rest).

Well ironically, Beau and Caleb DID NOT get another red eye during the whole party members gaining red eyes scene- Nope, Caleb got one more. Honestly, pretty excited and anxious at the same time.

19. Somebody check in on Essek’s mental/physical state because for a newbie adventurer he is doing suspiciously well - I wonder if he is just desensitized at this point.

Poor Essek was very physically hurt and also shook shook by Cree being transformed... so not entirely desensitized. He even failed the wisdom saving throw OH NO HE IS GETTING EYES ISN’T HE CALLING IT RN READ IN BOOKS I know what book is kinda associated with a wisdom save. Update: I KNEW IT, and I don’t care that nobody will believe me that I called it. Still sad that nobody really got to role play much, but I’m enjoying the action.

20. Caleb uses more fire or his customized spells (last episode’s awesome Widogast’s web of fire got me missing all his unique spells).

Disintegrate followed by CAT’S IRE HYPE and the clutch immovable object used for the first time what’s sexier than wizards NOTHING.

21. Fjord being the leader of the group in any way or just does something very impressive (go Fjord Tough).

Nice hexblade curse and triple Eldritch Blasts Fjord! Warlock powers let’s go! Also, nice counterspell! That divine smite + crit star razor oof that’s such a beautiful 80 damage. VERY impressive indeed.

22. We get to see new spells/abilities/features gained by their level-up! That will probably not come into play until a long rest, but one can hope.

MIND BLANK AT 8TH LEVEL what a perfect spell for Caleb. They got a long rest thanks to the mini Beacon! I love it. Jester and Cad showed off some spells as well!

23. Lucien physically reacting to the party’s attempts to bring up Molly’s memories/moments and showing confusion/hesitation.

Well they didn’t get to try anything really, Lucien spent most of the time doing his cool, dramatic and drawn-out villain monologue thing, also his maniac laughter scared me way more than the scream from last episode.

24. Obligatory wish for everyone to remain relatively happy and alive by the end of the episode except Cree (I have a feeling that Lucien ain’t dying this episode), and the episode ends on a terrifying cliffhanger as always.

Rip Cree, and what do you know, cliffhanger! Gosh I love this show.

Bonus:

Nice dimension door Jester, she is SO on task and such a key player in these crucial moments!! What a queen, it’s thanks to her (and Caleb, but it’s her idea first!) that they got to the crest so quickly and got rid of it. I repeat, QUEEN.

Veth’s first shot AND the final shot were awesome in terms of damage, rogues am I right?

Wow what a confrontation. I thought Lucien was all for the Somnovem but apparently he is... just super chaotic?? And wants to rule them all?? What was that all about? Lucien just gets more and more complex and I’m conflicted because now they might need to fight him, the city, or both. This is getting super complicated and I can’t wait for the next episode.

Well guys, this session made me scream in joy and also feel what it’s like to be high on adrenaline. The episodes just keep getting better and better. I literally could not care less if this is the final arc - if it is, it’s a damn good one. I love the cast so much, I love critical role so much. I wish it could be Thursday every day of the week!

#cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #c2e138 #the mighty nein #manifest list #cr liveblog #critical role #campaign 2

[signalwatch]

#The Signal Watch http://www.signal-watch.com/2023/07/90s-watch-south-park-bigger-longer-and.html

[thedreadvampy]

ok so this trip down memory lane kind of leads neatly into what I was wanting to talk about last night (even though it’s past 4am again oops)

which is the gendered nature of queerbaiting and of bi/homophobia

like last night @silly-slacker-person and I were talking about Glee and about how like...the Brittana relationship started with the improvised line “if having sex was dating, Santana and I would be dating” and how that fits into a Pattern

where queerbaiting with male characters is about emotional intimacy but They Can Never Kiss Or Touch Sexually, queerbaiting with female characters is...weird.

queerbaiting with female characters is often almost the inverse of queerbaiting with male characters. female characters will kiss on screen, touch constantly, and even actually have sex with each other, but the story will still regularly insist they’re straight. and romance is off-limits. emotional intimacy is withheld. it’s always waved away with being a performance, or an experiment, or a thing they’re doing because they’re horny and don’t have a boyfriend. 

and think about how often queerbaiting with women involves maneuvering them into a situation where they kiss onscreen but in a purely performative way (the example that springs inevitably to mind is Veronica and Betty in Riverdale - images of them kissing were all over the marketing for the show, and in reality they kissed as part of a choreographed performance in-story - I can also think of several examples where it’s as part of a game, a dare or because their boyfriends tell them to/to titillate their boyfriends) or like...it’s not technically Queerbaiting but how often women specifically are made bisexual but only in a teehee coy ‘it’s sexy when girls kiss’ way.

whereas queerbaiting with men is an “I love you...bro” or a quiet moment or a point of emotional intimacy and them touching remotely sexually/romantically is seen as the Proof Of Queerness, which writers will often shy away from committing to

it only tends to become A Canon Queer Thing when men express physical/sexual intimacy (kissing or sex)

it only tends to become A Canon Queer Thing when women express emotional/romantic intimacy (dating, “I love you”s, or monogamy)

and I feel...Some Kind Of Way about this and how it slots into the experience of exploring your own wlw identity. how women are still assumed to be and treated as straight even if they’re regularly seeking/having sex with other women unless they a) reject men utterly or b) enter a monogamous relationship.

and it feeds into something I’ve thought about a lot over the years which is how thoroughly gendered the experience of bi/homophobia is (not in terms of how you identify but in terms of how the -phobe is reading you)

like ultimately it comes down to the idea that men define sexuality

all sexual contact with women is overridden/negated by sexual contact with men. women aren’t given the same power to define sexuality as men.

which means that if you are a man who kisses/sleeps with men even once, you are gay

if you are a woman, kissing/sleeping with a man even once will make you straight

so sexual contact between women isn’t threatening the way sexual contact between men is. however gay a woman gets you can always walk it back in the eyes of heteronormativity. but if a man Goes Gay even a little bit that’s his identity set in stone however many women he goes on to sleep with/date.

and ultimately not to be crass it’s about The World Revolving Around Men’s Dicks. literally. so much of the gendered construction of homo/biphobia is about a patriarchal society unable to comprehend the concept that you could sleep with a man and be unchanged by it. sex and sexuality has been framed so universally for so long in so many cultures as a matter of male power and that is so definitional to homo/biphobia and to mainstream ideas about sexuality.

and that means that homophobia and biphobia are very shaped by your perceived gender in relation to your attraction

gay men are threatening because male sexuality is seen as such a powerful, shaping force, that the mere presence of gay men could be enough to shape the sexuality of men around them. this horror of Being Turned Gay this utter distress at the fragility of heterosexuality is so foundational to the way homophobia is upheld and expressed. it’s vital to heteronormative masculinity to distance yourself from gayness by any means necessary, to violently reject gayness, because even slight contact with male sexual or romantic intimacy has the power to redefine you.

whereas a lot of lesbophobia rests on the idea that it’s a deliberate rejection of men, and a temporary one - you’ll find the right man. sex with a man has the power to change you. and because of that relationships between women aren’t seen as meaningful in their own right. like a lot of cultures prohibiting sex between men treat sex between women as a natural, expected adolescent experiment, or as irrelevant as long as you also fuck your husband. it isn’t threatening to heteronormativity to kiss, fuck or love women, until you say this is real and it matters. Then it’s threatening because you’re being mean. You’re saying the Not Serious Not Definitional relationship of women loving women is powerful, more powerful than the Defining Power of Man Dick, and that’s aberrant, and it’s also kind of seen as...childish? silly? like you just Don’t Understand that women loving women isn’t Real Attraction. you can’t define yourself through sex with women! they’re not men! women are defined by, they don’t define!

and as a bi woman who largely dates bi men, I’m particularly interested in the gendered nature of biphobia

bi men are assumed to be “really” gay and in the closet

bi women are assumed to be “really” straight and performing attraction to women for male attraction

and that brings us full-circle to glee

see Ty and I were talking about the two really offensive stories in glee which affected us as bi teenagers

he was talking about the story where Blaine says “I think I might be bi” and Kurt tells him “bi guys don’t exist, bisexual is just a label for closeted gay high schoolers”

I was talking about the story of Finn outing Santana, which is a CLUSTERFUCK. but aside from the outing, thinking about how everyone canonically knew that she was sleeping with Brittany but she was only put in danger when it was named as a queer love. like that she was still understood as entirely straight and Doing It For Attention even when holding hands, kissing and fucking another woman, as long as she didn’t call it love or a relationship.

and I’ve talked to a lot of other bi people about the experience of being a bi teenager and almost everyone who was read as a woman as a teenager speaks to doubting the veracity of their attraction to women, to being treated as an attention-seeker looking for male attention or someone going through an experimental phase. and I think that’s usually how we talk about biphobia. as being assumed “a straight person looking for attention”. but the experience of a lot of people of narratives about bi men are a bit different and so the experience of bi teenage boys is really different. for girls/”girls”, queerness is something that has to be constantly asserted and proved. for boys/”boys”, it’s straightness that has to be proved. even if you mostly date girls, if you ever like. kissed a boy at a party or expressed attraction to another guy then people assumed you were gay and your attraction to women was fake.

and the throughline isn’t comphet it’s. I guess...comp-liking-men. it’s the assumption that attraction to women is a shadow of attraction to men. it can’t possibly compete.

I have often expressed, often to girlfriends I just had sex with, my fear that I’m appropriating queerness by laying any claim to it. like they look at me like I’m an idiot but later they’ll tell me the same thing. and that’s a fragility that assumed-male queerness just doesn’t have. male heterosexuality is so fragile that anything straying even slightly away from it is seen as Deeply, Threateningly Queer. female heterosexuality is so default that queerness has to CONSTANTLY fight for any space against it - even glancing in the direction of heterosexuality is enough to negate queerness. if you sleep with a man, if you even express the opinion that a man is good-looking, you’re Straight Now. they’re mirror images of each other and ultimately yeah it really comes down to the expectation of male power 

and also kind of...the irrelevance of women’s feelings in sexuality? the construction of all sexuality (including heterosexuality) as Male Desire and Female Acquiescence - historically society tends to not give a shit what women want, feel or love as long as they have sex with their husbands and don’t run the risk of having another man’s babies. it honestly like, not to get all Straw Feminist on this but it comes down to the subjugation and dehumanisation of women. a woman in patriarchy is an object owned and used to serve a function and a relationship that doesn’t threaten the ownership or affect the function (you’re still having sex with him and he still knows your child is his) isn’t a threat. women aren’t owners, they’re owned. if you say ‘actually I belong to this other woman and not to you’ it becomes a threat. if you start refusing to be a wife or a sexual partner or a mother it becomes a threat. but “passionate friendships” and schoolgirl experimentation weren’t just tolerated but sometimes actively encouraged as long as you still fulfilled your function as a wife fully. like you can fuck other girls before you get married - that’ll help you learn to Do Sex without having you Tainted By Another Man. you can keep a live-in mistress as long as you understand that your husband will always take precedence - that way you can have those pesky emotional needs met but you won’t cheat on him with a man and cuckold him. it’s only when you say This Is Queer And This Matters And We Matter that it becomes a threat. when she starts mattering as much as him. when you don’t marry men but devote yourself to women. now you’re Failing In Your Function. obviously this isn’t how it’s framed now but like. these ideas seem to me to have a direct throughline to the ways queer women are recieved now - as either Basically Straight or as Aggressive Rejectors Of The Normal.

idk it’s 5:30 am now I should sleep. but. this is such a rich topic I could talk about it forever. 

#biphobia #homophobia #lesbophobia #queerbaiting #misogyny #COVERED A LOT OF SERIOUS GROUND HERE FOR A CONVERSATION STARTING WITH GLEE