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batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years

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guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

#this is only like half of it #but at least you can get like a few answers #yanno fuck it #bataranswers #ask #asks #anon

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magnificent-nerd · 3 years

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Why Naqib in The Boys sucked

Image description: fictional character Naqib in Amazon Prime’s show The Boys.

(Is the fire in the background an excuse to use racist Yellow Filter to show how exotic he is? Hmm.)

I first posted this on my blog in Dec 2020, and since nothing in superhero media has changed for the better at this time (September 5th, 2021), I’m going to keep talking about it.

Because nobody else does. So, without further ado:

WHY NAQIB SUCKS.

I was a big fan of The Boys season 1; I love superheroes, I love deconstructing a genre. Sure, it has its problems, but overall I enjoyed season 1 and thought the show had potential.

(That’ll learn me for being hopeful!)

When season 1 ended with this big build up of mostly nameless brown and background characters as Muslim terrorists (deep sigh) we the audience are left thinking this one Muslim character (Naqib) whose superpower is to blow himself up repeatedly (insert another long deep sigh here) is going to be The Big Bad of season 2.

I had my misgivings about that direction. Firstly, as you can see from the image of Naqib, he is highly exoticised and is walking around bare chested with Arabic writing on his chest. He looks more like a generic western media depiction of a genie than he does a supervillain.

And yet he's the first prominent Muslim character in superhero media I've seen in YEARS.

(See my post about MENA and Muslim character good guys, including Joe played by Marwan Kenzari in The Old Guard, which is technically a comic book movie but it’s not what I’d call ‘caped and costumed’ superheroes so it’s more... superhero adjacent.)

I follow superhero content closely and as far as I'm aware the last time we saw any named Muslim characters in superhero movies WITH SPEAKING LINES was:

Instance 1) Iron Man 1 back in 2008 with The Ten Rings in Afghanistan, showing multiple Muslim characters as baddies/terrorists, but only two of them as a named character and with any meaningful lines to say. And despite one of them, Yinsen (actor Shaun Toub), being a good guy he still dies! Which is common in western media for Muslim and MENA characters.

Note: Fellow Iron Man 1 castmate, actor Sayed Badreya, makes an important point in this GQ article: "I die in Iron Man, I die in Executive Decision. I get shot by everyone. George Clooney kills me in Three Kings. Arnold blows me up in True Lies…" (x)

Instance 2) A more recent instalment in Batman V. Superman in 2016, with some unnamed 'General' character and mercenaries/terrorists in Nairomi, Africa, referred to only as "the desert" throughout the movie. All reference to the General's actual name are available in an extended/deleted scene only, so a very poor and vague depiction in the final cut.

Instance 3) The generic and badly written ‘bad guys’ in Wonder Woman 1984 (2020 movie), which was honestly such a racist depiction of Arabs and Muslims that many critics pointed out we hadn’t seen a depiction this terrible since 1994′s True Lies. (At least most critics were in agreement that WW84 movie was generally terrible, so there’s that.)

And that's it, those are the only major instances showing any Muslim actors or characters in a caped and costumed superhero movie.

Some other fleeting glimpses of Muslims onscreen:

Glimpse 1) I spotted a girl wearing a hijab among the nameless and unspeaking background characters of Peter Parker's class in Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019). A first for Marvel movies, apparently.

Glimpse 2) Disney Plus show Falcon and Winter Soldier (2021) had two nameless Muslim characters walk by in a scene that’s supposed to be Tunisia (using Yellow Filter), and ‘thank’ the present American Air Force (eye-roll).

Glimpse 3) Netflix show Jupiter’s Legacy (2021) had a nameless Muslim sailor conversing with one of the main characters in a scene, with meaningful dialogue about racism. (WOW. Really good.) Bonus: no yellow filter. It’s a pity he’s a nameless background character because this brief instance is the least problematic MENA rep I’ve seen in ages, but it is very brief.

I just wrote about Glimpses 2 and 3, and how the Netflix show outdid Disney when it comes to these nameless walk-on Muslim characters.

This is pretty pathetic overall, these small crumbs, especially compared to better rep and probably the only instance of legit MENA superheroes in a ‘costumes and capes’ style superhero show, the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

Anyway, now I’ve listed what crumbs are available across the live action superhero genre, back to The Boys.

I was intrigued about how season 2 would handle Naqib and any characters relating to him, and what storyline they'd use.

Was I excited at the possibility of seeing Muslim supers onscreen? Damn straight I was. Did I mind that they were baddies? Well, yes and no. When you only ever get crumbs or no crumbs at all, you tend to get excited over one stale old crumb.

After the build up for season 2, I eagerly sat down to watch the first episode, only to have the first five minutes of episode 1 Trigon him.

Note: who's Trigon, you ask? Well if you didn't watch the DCEU's Titans show, Trigon was The Big Bad who was hyped up throughout season 1, introduced in the season 1 cliff-hanger episode as this big 'oh shit!' moment for the cast of heroes, only for him to fizzle out like a wet fart in the first episode of season 2 while the show pivots wildly in another direction.

Exactly what happened to Naqib in the first five minutes of The Boys season 2.

Erm, so, Naqib. Farewell, I guess? As a character you briefly appeared in 2 episodes, portrayed by a different actor in each (Krishan Dutt, and Samer Salem). It seems the writers used you as a plot device when they needed a cheap cliff-hanger for a direction that ultimately went nowhere.

Am I disappointed? Yeah, I am. Overall I thought season 2 of The Boys was weaker than season 1, but I'm not here to talk about the whole season: I want to talk about Naqib and this missed opportunity.

The Boys and its showrunners sell the show as being a satire of recent and well known superhero content, of all the big movies and TV shows. There's been a lot of patting themselves on the back for calling out overused tropes in superhero media (and sometimes they've done this satire well: see the LGBT marketing scene with Queen Maeve in season 2), but my issue with the show on their Muslim rep, or should I say lack thereof, is if your show has even less Muslim character rep than the content you're trying to parody, how is this a win for satire?

Naqib and that whole angle came across as a lazy, half-assed swing from the writer's room. Sure, perhaps a lot of the non-Muslim and non-MENA audience won't even notice, as we've been ignored by western media or made into nameless, generic, vacuous baddies for decades now. Non-Muslims and non-MENA just accept that we're always the baddies for no particular reason at all (which feeds into Islamophobia, by the way) and The Boys' writers could say they are simply satirising the tropes already present in media...

But, and this is a big but, the media that The Boys is satirising has already made a step toward better inclusion and representation: Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan), Marvel comics' first Muslim superhero, is entering the MCU as a lead character in her own Disney Plus show, debuting in 2022.

Ms. Marvel/Kamala Khan is also cited to appear in upcoming Captain Marvel sequel, The Marvels (2022), which will be a major movie.

The MCU has also cast a Muslim actor (Mahershala Ali) as the lead in a reboot of Blade. That's going to be big news when it starts filming.

So to the showrunners on The Boys, I say this: now you've done this small angle of 'all Muslim characters are terrorists, yuckity-yuck!' like we've seen in major superhero movies thus far, and you've brushed that aside in favor of focusing on other whiter villains, my question is will you come back to Muslim and MENA characters again? Or is that all you got?

Because if that was ALL, then the current score is Disney/MCU:02, Netflix:02, DCEU:02, and The Boys: a big ZERO as far as Muslim and MENA rep goes.

Originally posted on my blog, magnificently nerdy.

If you, like me, are always on the lookout for onscreen Muslim and MENA characters in superhero media, and have spotted any characters in superhero TV shows I haven’t watched yet, let me know about them!

Here is my post on good guys, featuring Old Guard’s Joe, and Blindspot’s Rich Dotcom.

Here’s my post about the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow TV show.

And, if Marvels’ Eternals gets released on schedule for 2021, we will have a MENA actor portraying a supporting character. I just hope Marvel gives him a name.

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taiblogcomics · 4 years

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Absolutely Thera-Pissed

Hey there, visas and green cards. It's our ninth blogaversary! Wow, we've been going for quite a long time. Long enough to completely change platforms at least once. Considering we just finished our whole backlog, I think we should try something new in honour of the amazing coincidence of these two events synching up. Before we start on another backlog of terrible comics (trust me, I have something in mind), let's do something we've never done before on this blog. We've only ever really covered comics issue by issue. How would you feel, dear readers, if we instead did an entire storyline all at once?

And oh boy, do I have just the storyline in mind. Here's the cover:

Oh yeah. We're doing this. This story has kind of hung over this blog, mostly due to its connections to Red Hood and the Outlaws. It also prominitely features Harley Quinn, who also appeared in Suicide Squad (which ended before this story took place). And personally, I am a fan of Harley, Booster, and the Titans. And oh boy, does this comic shit all over them, in some of the most truly appalling ways possible. This is Heroes in Crisis. All nine issues. Let's jump right in~

I won’t be going over the covers of the individual issues, or even this one so much, but I do like that quote at the top. It is actually some good superhero artwork! It is an extremely awful story, but the artwork is fine~

So the first issue starts like this: Booster Gold's in one of those tiny middle-American diners. The host's loving it, since she says superheroes never show up and eat here. And oh look, here comes another one! Booster replies that that's no hero, as Harley Quinn walks in. Clearly he hasn't been reading her solo series. Harley orders some pie, and she and Booster eat in terse silence. Until suddenly Harley grabs a knife, and the two begin a real knock-down, drag-out fight. And lemme tell ya something, Harley keeps up with a guy who can fly and project forcefields pretty well. Eventually the pair are exhausted, and Booster says he's gotta bring Harley in, after what he saw her do. Harley protests, because she didn't kill all those people. She saw Booster do it.

All this is intercut with two different scenes. One is sort of a confession-cam style thing, a bunch of heroes (including Harley, Blue Jay, Booster, and Hotspot) all admitting they're here for therapy. And the second is Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman talking with each other as they land in a particular site. This place is called Sanctuary. It is currently full of dead heroes. Among the deceased here are Hotspot, Lagoon Boy, Wally West, and Roy Harper. And this is my first major complaint. Do you know what all these characters have in common? Hey, DC: Stop using the Titans as your cannon fodder. Stop treating them as a joke. Every iteration of the team deserves more respect than this.

So Harley and Booster are going to be our POV characters for this story. I like both of these characters a lot, so this is probably going to be pretty painful seeing them written horribly. Harley goes off to the Penguin for protection, and we actually get to see her in her old costume. It is a breath of fresh air, honestly. Booster, meanwhile, mostly just tries to rationalise his actions with Skeets, his robot buddy. Booster suffered kind of a psychotic break back in the Batman storyline "The Gift", which is why he was in Sanctuary to begin with. This story is basically a follow-up to that one, and has the same sort of tone.

Harley confronts the trinity in Gotham, revealing she set the whole thing up with Penguin just so she could get close to them on her terms. She uses the Lasso of Truth to confess she saw Booster Gold do it, then uses the Kryptonite in Batman's belt to skip town. The next time we see her, she's at the docks, giving a eulogy to Poison Ivy, another victim of Sanctuary. Booster Gold, meanwhile, has rationalised that Batman would solve the crime himself rather than turn himself in, and goes to Barry Allen to check in. Of course, the trinity are the only ones who know about the accident yet, so when Booster tells Barry that Wally's dead, he gets super pissed. Just like the readers are!

Issue 3 is a flashback issue, showing Booster's first day at Sanctuary. Sanctuary works like this: everyone gets their own private quarters, and if they want to visit the common areas, they wear a mask and cloak to preserve anonymity. Here's the first really big problem with Sanctuary: while therapy for superheroes is a good (possibly necessary) concept, Sanctuary is only one kind of therapy. It essentially assumes everyone responds the same to the same sort of therapy. The kind here is that Sanctuary gives you a private room that simulates your traumas (with a holodeck) and has you physically confront them. Lagoon Boy, for example, is shown to be facing the laser that killed him over and over again. Wally sets up superhero battles that still have his kids with him. And while this sort of therapy might help some people, it's definitely not universal.

Booster starts his first session, which ends up just being a hologram of himself, talking to him. Before he can get much further, though, alarms go off and everyone is urged to emergency evacuate. Lagoon Boy is killed--in a deliberate callback to his previous death, no less--and we see a few other victims, including Red Devil, Commander Steel, and Gunfire. Wally clutches Roy's body as he dies in his arms, and Harley smacks Wally in the face with her hammer. She greets Booster cheerfully, and he admits he's having a hell of a first day.

After a brief scene of Aqualad (Garth, in this case) drinking in a bar--and who can blame him for wanting to drink after experiencing this story?--Batman and Barry meet, thus showing they're still unsure who did it. Booster is being interrogated under the Lasso of Truth, and he relays the previous issue to us. In his mind, Harley did it. Harley, meanwhile, has tracked down Batgirl (Barbara Gordon) and surprisingly... they hug. Babs promises to help stick by Harley and prove her innocence. After all, Babs has been through trauma, too. The comic reminds us of this with another confession-cam video, showing Babs display the scars she received from “The Killing Joke".

So, about these confession cams... They've been interspersed between scenes, showing everyone from Batman down to guys like Gunfire or the Protector relaying their problems by confession. Again, this sort of therapy isn't for everyone, but it's the only one Sanctuary's got. Superman tells Batman that Lois has been receiving these videos anonymously. Batman responds that there are no videos. Sanctuary does not keep records, to preserve patient confidentiality. Supes replies that there are videos, he's seen them, and now the media has them. The issue ends with a breaking story about "What is the secret superhero Sanctuary?" exposé airing on television...

Speaking of breaking, Blue Beetle (Ted Kord, who I'm as surprised as anybody to find out is alive again post-Rebirth) breaks Booster out of the Hall of Justice where he's being held. The pair watch the breaking news report on television while they try to come up with a plan. Booster's idea is to confess to Barry again, figuring they won't expect the stupidest possible move, making it actually the smartest possible move. Booster has not really recovered from his insanity, I see. He and Beetle do exactly that, surprising Barry at work, which is apparently all the advantage they need. This is because Barry, as a forensic scientist, has access to the data on the autopsies.

While Superman makes a public statement to the press regarding Sanctuary, Batman passes Skeets into Batgirl's care, and she immediately violates that trust by in turn passing Skeets to Harley. It's implied Harley tortures the information regarding Booster's whereabouts out of Skeets, but it's okay because he's just a robot. Babs and Harley turn up at Booster's place as he's analysing the data he obtained from Barry. Here's where it all starts to fall into place: the data on Wally West says his body is five days older than the rest of them.

Issue 6 is kind of a triple piece, but one that can be summed up fairly quickly. It focuses on three specific characters who were all at Sanctuary. The parts regarding Gnaark the caveman (another Titans alumnus) are ultimately pointless, since the issue ends with his death. The parts with Harley focus on Joker's abuse of her and Posion Ivy's care towards her. This also ends badly. Wally's parts focus on the DC Rebirth story where he essentially willed himself back into the universe. And while that story is really good and it was a joy to see Wally again, it ultimately ended with the knowledge that Wally's family did not reappear with him. His kids are gone, his wife is with someone else and does not remember him, and until he forced his way back into everyone's memories, no one else recalled him either. This would traumatise anybody. But it may have really traumatised Wally.

The next issue starts really well, honestly. Booster and Harley are fighting it out--again--while Babs and Beetle just watch. Like, they aren't even stressed, they're both familiar with their respective charges, and this is really no surprise. In any other comic, this would be a great scene. Shame that it's in this one, and it's not nearly enough to save even a lick of it. Eventually Babs works out that Booster's forcefields are only currently working because of some jury-rigged tech that's powered by Blue Beetle's consciousness. So she knocks him out with one hit. Harley prepares a killing blow, but ultimately cannot go through with it, proving she's a good person. She and Booster just collapse on the floor, and bond over the fact that they both kind of suck as superheroes (from their own perspectives, at least).

With Booster, Beetle, Babs, and Harley (Barley?) all on the same side now, the group decide to get to the bottom of everything together. Meanwhile, the rose Harley dropped off the docks is picked up by Wally. See, while the body they found of Wally is five days older than the rest, this means he time-traveled and is still at present alive. Wally channels his Speed Force into the rose, causing it to grow rapidly--and Poison Ivy blooms from it, restored to life. I don't get it either, but if it means Ivy didn't die in this stupid story, I'll take it. Wally then apologises, since Ivy just returned to life and now she has to see death so soon. Those five days are up, and a second Wally appears, ready to literally kill himself.

So here's what really fucking happened.

Wally had been at Sanctuary three weeks already. He's frustrated because the therapy's not helping as fast as he thought it would. He does a jump into the Speed Force and basically exists everywhere at once. Spread across the time stream, he witnesses everybody's confession cams all at once. He sees "the trauma of a thousand heroes in crisis" (hey, we have a title, ladies and gentlemen). And... it's too much. Realising everybody's personal pain breaks him. He unleashes the burst of pent-up energy he'd stored to do the time jaunt thing and kills everyone at Sanctuary.

Lagoon Boy. Protector. Hotspot. Red Devil. Arsenal. Gnaark. Solstice. Tattooed Man. Gunfire. Blue Jay. Commander Steel. Nemesis. I want you to remember these names. These were all pre-existing characters. Half of them were members of the Titans at one point or another. Wally West, the Flash, killed them in a stupid, stupid storyline that not only assassinates his character, but also literally assassinates all these other characters.

Wally uses his super speed to set up the bodies, rig the crime scenes so it looks like Harley or Booster could be responsible for their deaths. He then travels forward in time to the present moment, where he has just confessed all this to Poison Ivy. He kills that version of himself and travels back in time with it to fake his own death. He then uses the VR tech of Sanctuary to trick Booster and Harley into believing they saw the other commit the deeds. Neither of them even knew they'd never left their respective therapy simulations. This leaves Wally with a five day window to figure out something good he can do to make up for killing everyone.

So the final issue wraps it up like this: Booster time-travels the group back to where Barry is about to kill his own paradox clone. Harley and Ivy reunite, which is nice. So here's the plan: this doesn't have to end with any more death. In the end, what Barry did was all an accident. So Booster travels into the future to make a clone of the paradox-Wally. This gives them a five-day-old body they can leave at the massacre, in order to close the timeloop. The present Wally turns himself in and is arrested, while the five-days-ago paradox Wally merges back into the Speed Force, still running to try and find his family.

And the "good" thing Wally did to make up for killing everyone? He was the one that leaked Sanctuary's existence to the media. In his mind, the idea that heroes are seen as constant paragons was too much pressure. By letting the public know that even superheroes need therapy, even superheroes suffer trauma just like everyone else, he he could let people know that heroes are just that: people. People like everyone else. And that it is okay for anyone to seek help if you need it. This seems like a nice sentiment, until you remember the reason Wally killed everyone is because he was impatient about how his therapy was going. What an awful story.

-----

Like, legitimately, this story is just awful. The basic premise--that heroes could probably do with therapy--is not a bad one. The execution is just really completely mismanaged, though. Start with the beginning. Why are Harley Quinn and Booster Gold chosen as the focus characters? Because they're the ones you could believe would orchestrate a mass murder, right? Except no. You would never believe that. Booster is not that much of a screw-up, and Harley is not that much of a villain. Neither of them have been those things for many years. The readers know that, but it feels like the writer didn't.

And that's the worst part of it all. The superficiality of the story. In the end, why was this story written? To explore the concept of therapy for superheroes? Well, then, it went about it in the worst way possible. Not everyone experiences trauma in the same way. And therefore, not everyone responds to therapy in the same way. The way therapy is depicted in this story is just wrong. Frankly, Sanctuary looks like one of the worst places to get treatment, right alongside Arkham Asylum. Do you think anybody's really going to take away from this story "It's okay to talk about your traumas if you need to"? In or out of universe?

I didn't really talk about the confession cams, but they seemed highly unnecessary. They were always the same, a 3x3 of panels featuring a superhero talking about their traumas. Most of them didn't factor into the story, and at most they felt like a common scene transition. They tried to give them some weight by revealing that the contents of all these possibly got leaked? But then they just kinda dropped that subplot. Which was really kind of serious, because the traumas range from the Protector (a character created for drug PSAs) confessing that he has done drugs to Superman talking about the burden of keeping his identity secret. How much of these did the public actually get? And if it was none, what was even the point of it being a subplot~? Like, leak that Sanctuary existed, sure, but why did Lois Lane get sent all the videos that shouldn't have existed~?

What this story has done to Wally is awful. They have completely tarnished this likeable, amazing hero by having him kill twelve people (thirteen, if you include Poison Ivy), several of them colleagues and friends. All because he's trying to fake his way through therapy when it isn't helping him as fast as he wants. Know what would have been a good story? How about he learns to cope with his trauma? How about he actually gets his family back? It's unrealistic as hell, but it's a fictional story. It's escapism. It's okay to have a happy ending. I ''want'' my stories to end in happy endings, because it's so hard to get them in real life. I want something better than this.

DC Rebirth was a breath of fresh air. Wally's return to the DC universe felt like the clouds were lifitng. The stories following Rebirth felt like a return to form after the darkening of the New 52. It felt like the stories were getting good again, like the comics were getting fun and hopeful again. It couldn't last, though, could it? This story is only three years after the Rebirth initiative. Three years? That's all the hope we get in the universe? I sincerely hope this story ends up an abberation, and not a return to form of the darker, more dour universe we put up with in the New 52. Especially given current events, you can understand why a brighter, optimistic fictional world is appealing. I sincerely hope that when comics resume publication after the pandemic, a more positive outlook continues, and stories like this are left in the garbage where they belong.

This book is fucking awful, and I am done with it. Next week, we'll start reviewing an all-new series for the Taiblog. Let's just say I'm not done ranting about injustices against the Teen Titans~

#comics #reviews #Heroes in Crisis #Taiblog

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ellana-ravenwood · 7 years

Text

The World is an asshole - Superboy x Batsis (reader)

So I wanted to write a Clark Kent story but have kind of a writer’s block on it right now so...What’s the next best thing ? CONNER Kent. Yup. Totally. So here’s a story with Conner dating Batsis and blahblahblah. This is somewhat of a continuation of my stories “You’re kind of an asshole” and “they’re kind of asshole”. ...This is too long, sorry for the super long story, hope you’ll still like it:

PART 1, PART 2

My master list blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

The World was kind of an asshole.

It’s the only thought you have as everything happens.

The World was kind of an asshole.

Oh you had enough.

This was just too much. You couldn’t handle it.

Why could nothing go your way ?! Why everything had to always be so damn difficult ? You were so close from a nervous breakdown.

THIS WAS ALL TOO MUCH !

And no one could help you. You were all alone in this.

No one could cheer you up.

Not even Conner’s reassuring arms and kisses, your brothers’ soothing words and hugs or your dad’s smile could make things better. If this thing wasn’t working, your life would just be ruined...

In a last, and full of spite, action, you...punch the AC with all your might.

And, thanks all the Gods that ever existed, it turns on again. With a sigh of contentment you stay in front of the cool air and life comes back to you again.

It was summer time and the heat was killing you.

You were a creature of the cool and refreshing air of the night.

From Gotham City at that, a place where, for over two third of the year, it was rain, thunderstorms and snow.

Hot weather always got to you. Making you grumpy (grumpier than usually, you were a Wayne after all) and irritable.

And of course, the AC at the Young Justice’s headquarters was broken, and no one seemed to know how to fix it...Well, that was until you punched the main panel that was in the room you all hung in the most, making it work again somehow. And damn it felt good.

Relishing in the cold wind brushing you, you closed your eyes and sigh once more. After a few minutes of standing there, finally refreshed and in a giddy mood once more, you open your eyes and join your friends back on the couches everyone was sitting on.

They didn’t even register what you just did, used to you and your antics but...Wally can’t help but say :

-Do you really have to punch all your problems away ?

You smile and chuckle lowly, as you sit next to Conner and his arms automatically wrap around your shoulders.

-Hey, I’ve been raised by the Punch Master, dude. So, the answer is : yes. Yes I do. Besides, AC’s working again so...you know.

Wally can’t help the smile creeping on his face, though he tries to act completely exasperated for good measure. You’re about to say something else but are distracted by Conner kissing your cheek tenderly...he can never resist. Whenever you’re being even just a tiny bit sassy, he just feels the need to kiss you, because oh damn he loves that part of your personality.

That’s when he and your brothers come in.

Your dad. The Batman. He tries to ignore as best as possible your dazed smile as Conner peppers kiss down your jaw, he tries to ignore your girly giggle and looks away, saying :

-Are you talking about me ?

And oh he knows the grin on your face is full of smugness. He knows that you’re very happy that he’s finally trying to accept that Conner is your boyfriend but...he also knows that you’re your mother’s daughter, and mischievously teasing him is one of your favorite past time. You turn your head to him, pulling away from Conner and says :

-And yet again my beloved dad, you surprise me at how great of a detective you are. The best in the World in fact.

He smirks at you and antics, and his expression ALMOST doesn’t change when his eyes meet Conner’s. There’s ALMOST no suspicion at all in his gaze when he looks upon your boyfriend.

Conner is still not used to your family (except for Dick that always supported you two) to be nice to him...Like, yesterday morning, when Damian gave him cookies he was pretty sure they were poisoned with Kryptonite but...no. They were just normal cookies.

It seemed like the threat of never talking to them again worked wonder. But still, it was a bit weird that they were so damn nice.

You were about so say something when your father turns to Conner and says :

-May I speak to you, Superboy ?

You roll your eyes at the formal “Superboy” and lay back in the couch, resisting the urge to make-out with Conner just to spite your dad and brothers, and watch as your boyfriend goes to your father. You give the mighty Batman a look that means : “Careful, I’ll fight ya” and he nods, rolling his eyes at you but...he knows you’re not kidding. If he does anything that you think is rude to your boyfriend, then you will fight him...You’ll never hit your dad though (only ACs), but oh your words were sharper than swords.

You observe your dad as he speaks to Conner, and try to look for any change in Conner’s body..You know your boyfriend can get mad easily, and is always kind of on the defensive and...He’s smiling. And your father lays a fatherly hand on his shoulder. Wow. Ok. That was unexpected.

When your dad called you to excuse himself from wanting to break you and Conner up, you never expected him to be so into making amend. And yet, every day he surprised you, he even let Conner sleep at the Manor with you ! Though you could totally hear him pace the corridors, trying to listen in to any suspicious noises...Needless to say you did NOT make love that night. You were totally up for it but...The Batman kinda freaked Conner out really.

You smiled at the memory (it really was hilarious to witness your boyfriend, the super-strengthed super-powerful dude, sleeping like a plank at the opposite side of you, afraid to even brush his toes against your feet because he was scared of a human he could probably break in half if he wanted...well, not like your dad would let him really), and barely register that Conner is back and is sitting next to you again, a stupid smile on his face.

You quickly glance at your dad who shyly smiles back to you and...What’s happening ? You’re about to ask Conner but he answers before you can say anything :

-Your dad just told me I could be your official date for tonight’s gala. I mean...if you want to.

Oh. OH ! This meant a lot. A LOT ! Coming with an “official date” at any social events meant that you were basically announcing that your relationship was a serious one and...were you ready for such a commitment ? Yes. Yes you totally were. You turn to your boyfriend and smile, kissing him on the lips. You pull away to say :

-Of course I want to Conner, I love you.

But before he can say “I love you” back, your youngest brother, Damian, comes and sits right between you two, an upset expression on his face and...you can’t help but chuckle.

Out of all the members of your family, your little brother was the one struggling the most with this all “accepting that his beloved sister is dating a man” thing, and though he’d do some effort, if he was present, he’d always make sure to stand between the two of you...Which spurred him being in very awkward situation as you just didn’t care for his presence and kissed each other above him (you were taller than him).

Oh, how cute was this little munchkin...

************

You could clearly see he wasn’t comfortable. It was so obvious it was almost painful. It was also totally adorable, the way he’d awkwardly walk with your hand in his, wearing one of Jason’s tuxedo...

When you arrived at the gala event, and got out of the car, you could almost hear people gasped. What ? Bruce Wayne’s precious daughter was...dating ? In the public mind, you were still a little girl even though you were actually an adult now. They saw you grow up, they followed your every step (well, almost every step) and to see that now...you were officially dating someone ? It was something.

It would make every headline of every newspaper in the area the next day.

You tried to prep Conner a bit, explaining to him how things would unfold and...he just seemed so sure of himself, saying : “I know, I saw you guys on TV multiple times”, that you ended up not worrying for him and...oh damn he actually had no idea what was awaiting him.

Flashes of a hundred cameras blinded him, thousands of questions about you and his relationship with you thrown at him in a matter of minutes, all the attention on him and just so many people completely obsessed with you and every single move your family made !

You, Bruce and your brothers were used to it. You didn’t particularly like it but...you grew up with it. But Conner ? Or poor man...

You tried to make him feel better by holding his hand tight and smiling a lot at him and you even gave to the public what they wanted...You kissed him. You didn’t think about it too much though, you didn’t think about the articles that would be written with pictures of you two kissing...you just wanted him to feel better.

And it worked. A bit. As the night went on, he felt more and more relaxed and you...angrier and angrier.

You know it’s stupid but..you can’t help it. All those girls flirting with YOUR Conner ? Goddammit. Yes, he’s very hot, but he’s also very taken, go away bitches thank you very much. You were getting more and more annoyed when your oldest brother, Dick, taking advantage of a bathroom break Conner had to take and the fact that you were alone right now, came close to you and, throwing an arm around your shoulders said :

-You know, jealousy makes you look ugly.

-Wow damn, thanks bro’.

-You know what I mean.

-In fact, I have no idea. Except that you just call me ugly, and that you’re a terrible brother.

He chuckles and you smile at him, as he continues :

-Oh who am I kidding ? Even when you’re jealous and frowning you’re cute. And there’s really no reason to be jealous.

-Oh really ? Have you seen all those damn models lurking around him ? Using every moment I’m not looking to wink at him ? Touching his damn muscles RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME ?!

-Yes I’ve seen them. But I also saw how Conner didn’t even look at any of them. Not one second. He had eyes only for you, quite literally. He kept his arm around you, and didn’t even notice their touch at all, to focus on your damn lips and please, tell him to stop because, even though you know I support 100% this relationship, it’s kinda gross to see one of your best friend lusting after your sister so...

-Oh my god Dick, do you have to make it weird ?

-Of course I do, that’s what big brothers are for !

You roll your eye and your brother leaves as Conner comes back.

************

The rest of the evening is going perfectly well, except for that small little thing...An ex of yours, son of a billionaire who owns a pharmaceutical enterprise, comes to talk to you and...Thanks god your brothers are here to stop Conner before he punch “the jerk”.

It’s true though, that this particular ex, Antoine Gregory, always been kind of a jerk, and might have stalked you a little bit after you broke up with him (nothing everyone serious between the two of you...well, you were your father’s daughter you know), until your dad took care of it (to this day, you still have no idea what happened).

**********

Months go by, and you bring Conner to more and more social event, with no accident noticeable. He blends right in, though he still finds it difficult and weird to stand for photos so much...All around town, no one seem to be able to talk about something else but your relationship !

You’re at an important charity when someone, for the first time, ask if marriage is in the question and...The look on Conner’s face. He turns to you, hopeful, waiting for an answer and...oh my God, he totally wants to marry you and you don’t know how to feel about that ! Do you wanna get married ? You love him but...are you ready for THAT kind of commitment ?

A damn wasp stings you, cutting all of your thoughts and saving you from an uncomfortable and awkward conversation as you go to the bathroom to pour some water on the sting

************

The idea that Conner wants to marry doesn’t seem to want to leave your mind and...You know now. You know what you’d say if he asks you :

“No.”

Because you’re not ready for this. You’re not ready for that kind of big jump and...The more you think about it, the more it makes you question your feelings toward your boyfriend.

Do you...actually really love him ?

After all, you always kind of had a crush on him, because he was so mysterious and handsome..;and the fact that M’Gann was dating him made you jealous and all, which spurred even more feelings but...

Was it really more than a crush ? Because if it was, after almost three quarter of a year of dating, you should kinda think about marriage right ? It should be in the question, and even if you weren’t ready for it, it shouldn’t stir so much conflicted feelings in you !

As you lay in your bed, wide awake, you cannot stop thinking about it.

Do you really love Conner Kent ?

And as you receive a text from him saying “Good night my princess, I love you” you realize that...maybe it was just some sort of teenage infatuation.

************

You know you have to tell him. You know it’s not right to keep going as if nothing is happening, as if your feelings towards him start to drastically change, as you realize that;..you were probably never in love with him.

It was just a crush. That returned your feelings and you were happy but...you didn’t love him. You’re sure of it. Because as you realized this, whenever he kissed you, your heart didn’t beat wildly now. Whenever he held you, you didn’t feel as happy as you used to and...You wished you never realized that you weren’t in love, because things were just so easy before.

Now, you have to tell him, and you have no idea how he’ll react. But you have to tell him.

You ask him to follow you in a room far from everyone, and...you tell him.

The look he gives you as you’re explaining what’s on your heart is shattering. You feel so guilty, and so sad for him but...pretending isn’t the right thing to do either. You couldn’t wait for him to one day propose to you and say “no, I don’t love you” could you now ?

It had to be said. Fast. Ripped like a band-aid.

He’s stunned at first and, not quite understanding, he says :

-But...but I love you...

-I know Conner but...I don’t. Not anymore. I...I just...I’m sorry.

-What changed ? What did I do ?

-You didn’t do anything Kon ! It’s not you, I just...I just think I might take a bit too much after my father and be emotionally retarded you know ? Like I thought I loved you but...

-No ?

You shake your head negatively.

-So...So you never loved me ?

His voice is so broken that you’re almost tempted to lie to him and say that you did but...that would give him hope. That would make him think he could win you back and you know it’s just not possible so you agree.

Yes. You never actually loved him.

-All those things you said, you didn't mean them then ?

-I thought I did Conner but...

-No, stop. Shut up. That’s enough. I...I heard enough. And...As you wish.

-I’m so sorry Conner, we can still be friend, I still love you as a friend and that I know and..

-Yes yes. Sure. I...I just need to go.

He leaves the room so fast you barely see him, and when you go outside and Tim comes to you to ask what is going on, you shake your head sadly and say :

-We broke up.

What ? You and Conner broke up ? But you were so in love ! When he asked what happened you just tell him you don’t love him anymore and your brother seems...confused. Shocked. Stunned. You don’t love Conner anymore ? That’s new...But he already knew you were the one that broke up, as he saw tears in his friend’s eyes when he left the YJ headquarters...

************

“Heartbreak” doesn’t even begin to describe what Conner is.

Devastated, destroyed, shattered would be closer...He’s so angry at himself to be so touched by you breaking up with him, it was just a stupid relationship, it wasn’t the end of the world, he’d find love again but...he can’t help it !

He doesn’t wanna find love again. He wants you.

He doesn’t want to move on. He wants you.

In fact, it’s more than that. He knows he will never be able to love again, or to move on...You would forever hold a part of his heart. The biggest part.

He refused to speak to anyone, especially not you and...even more so since every single person he spoke to just seemed more confused about the break up than anything else.

It didn’t make sense that you’d break up with him, you were always annoying everyone with him and it was so obvious you were in love but...Maybe not. Maybe they misread you. Reading a Wayne’s emotions properly was tough after all..

But even your own dad who was against the all relationship to start with didn’t understand. When he talked about it with you you just repeated what you told your brothers : you were just not in love anymore.

Everyone’s pity made him angry, and Conner just...had to go away. He just had to leave. He couldn’t even bear the thought to be in the same building than you without being able to touch you, smell you, kiss you, embrace you...it was too difficult.

Every time he even had a small glance of you, his heart would be torn away once more, and he’d just want to tear up and GOD HE HATED THIS ! Why couldn’t he be strong ? Why ?

-Are you ok kid ?

Conner, startles, makes a huge jump in the air and turns around and...it’s Superman. The man he admires and wants to be close to, but that keeps ignoring him. Yet another one that he loves, but that don't seem to reciprocate, to care at all...Clark keeps a distance with him.

-How’d you find me ?

Conner asks, and Clark smiles.

-I also had a place I liked to go to be alone. My fortress of solitude. And it was similar to this place.

-You followed me.

-I followed you.

-WHy ?

-To see if you were ok.

-You don’t even care. What’s the real reason ?

-I do care. And...I know how tough a break up can be. I know how...

-YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ! The love of your life is Lois ! And you’re with her ! You married her ! You had Jon with her ! I know what you’re going to tell me, that I’ll find someone too one day and blahblahblah but that’s wrong. I won’t find anyone, she was...She was my everything ! My all world ! And I thought...I thought she cared. I thought she really cared, and I guess I was a fool for that. The thing is, I wanted to marry her, to have children with her ! Not now of course, but I wanted all of that. She was my Lois...She...She...and now...She never even loved me Clark...She never even loved me...

Conner falls to his knees or rather...almost does. Because Clark is there. He catches him. And when he starts to sob, to cry and wet Clark’s costume...the man lets him. Because the boy need him. And this time, he can’t ignore it.

He knows. He sees. He understands.

Clark knows how you never even loving him for one second, at least not like he wished you’d love him, was destroying him.

Clark sees how it affects him, not just mentally, but also physically, as if without you he’s just weaker. As if your absence is his actual kryptonite.

Clark understands, but not quite...because Conner’s right. He never experienced the “true love” heartbreak. He was with the love of his life. And...He had to admit that the way Conner looked at and talked about you...yes, yes you were his true love. And oh terrible it was that this was only a one sided one...

Clark would have never come to see the boy if he didn’t know how important it was, how broken Conner was...His Ma’ told him. She saw him for a few seconds and..Yes.

Conner was forever broken. He could never be whole anymore. Not without you.

************

Conner started to avoid the YJ headquarters when M’Gann kept wanting to talk to him. What decided him was this conversation he had with her :

-How are you holding up Conner ?

-Fine.

-Are you sure ? You know you can tell me anything ?

-I also know that if you want to know anything you’ll just read my mind, as you always do.

-True. And...I don’t understand.

-What don’t you understand ?

-She clearly doesn’t love you. I saw it in her mind. She used to but...something changed. I don’t know what. But she doesn’t love you anymore. I checked. And I promise I’m not lying. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t going all “Batman” on you with his “I can’t have a relationship” thing and all and...no. She really doesn’t love you and...

-Why are you telling me this ?

The pain in Conner’s voice broke M’Gann’s heart.

-Because I do love you, and I’m here, I care. More than her. And you used to love me and I’m sure you can find in yourself...

-I’m sorry.

-Uh ?

-If I hurt you just half as much as I’m hurting right now, then I’m sorry. But I...I don’t love you. I love her. With every fiber of my being. And...I’m sorry M’Gann I can’t be talking about this right now.

He leaves, with the intent of not coming back.

And his pain is so vivid, that M’Gann can feel it in her brain. It’s nothing compare to what she felt when he broke up with her. Nothing. And she realizes that...Conner’s love for you is way WAY stronger than anything he ever felt for ANYONE. She wished she could talk to you but you haven’t come to the headquarters for so long...

Come to think of it, it’s a bit weird really...

************

You don’t see Conner for month, and surprisingly...it’s alright. What ? You can’t feel guilty forever. It’s not your fault you’re not loving him !

Your ex, Antoine, the one that used to stalk you, resurface all of a sudden and...you turn him down. Of course you do. Like, there’s a reason you broke up with him. He seems more confused than angry as to why you’re still refusing him but, whatever right ?

Dick and Tim try to talk to you about Conner, but you don't want to. You know what they’re going to say and you’re not ready to be guilt tripped. It’s not your fault you’re not in love anymore...Besides, Conner is their best friend, of course they’ll say something defending him.

No, you don’t wanna fight with them, so you avoid them.

Come to think of it, you avoid most people really. Even your father, while you always loved his presence. Hell, even your mother. And it almost scares you how you don’t really care, how you don’t mind not seeing any of them.

It almost scares you how you start to feel nothing for them, just a mild friendship. How your family becomes...secondary. Hell, even tertiary.

All that’s important right now, is to have fun, and each night, instead of going to patrol, you go out. You haven’t come home to the manor in days and...Bruce knows there’s something wrong with you.

He doens’t recognize his little girl and he just knows. Something is wrong.

***********

Seeing you flirting with those guys on the TV is awful.

Conner doesn’t even know why he’s watching those stupid celebrity news show...Actually, he does know.

It hurts him like hell whenever he sees you with a different guy (or even girl) each night but...at least he sees you. He sees your smile and he can almost remember how good it felt to hold you in his arms, your smell and...

It’s torture. Pure torture.

He’s hurting himself by watching those stupid celebrity news, seeing you in someone else’s arms each time...And your smile, it’s not the smile he loves so much...it’s almost..wicked...

One night, as he watches you once more on the TV, something happens.

But of course it’d happen someday. You were the famous (Y/N) Wayne. Of course they’d target you in such an easy place to access !

The camera cuts just as a few heavily armed men enters the vicinity. One shot. One shot and the camera cuts. The last image being your face as the gun turns to you...

He doesn’t even think about it, before he knows it, he’s out.

************

He arrives even before your father. Actually, maybe your father doesn’t even know what’s going on yet...And Conner isn’t about to wait for him.

Those guys have guns. Pointed at you. He has to save you...

The nightclub is now empty, expect for you and them.

You don't even seem scared and...what is going on with you ? He doesn’t recognize you, it’s as if you don’t feel ANYTHING anymore...

He quickly makes up a plan to save you but of course..nothing goes like he wanted it to go. Nothing.

He enters the place discreetly, and a terrible silence surrounds him.

Those men, they don’t utter a word, they just point their guns at you.

He has to do something about it and...Maybe distracting them? But it doesn’t go as planned. Not at all.

He does distract them. And knocks them all out. But as he turns to you to see if your alright, and as he can see not even an ounce of thankfulness in your eyes...a voice resonates in the club.

-I knew you would come.

Conner turns around and...Lex Luthor. His “father” (he was created with a mix of Clark’s and Lex’s DNA). Conner asks, as he unties you :

-What do you want ?!

-You. And your girl there, gave me the perfect way to reach for you. Especially since your little...break up. I need you Conner, by my side, for a little...project of mine. And now that you weren’t always with her, or that her damn dad...yes I know who he is...isn’t....It was fairly easy to kidnap her. She didn’t even fight.

Conner turned around to look at you and...no reaction. You have absolutely no reaction, as you’re standing besides him. And it just doesn't look like you at all, normally, you’d be fuming, and those armed guys ? You’d have kicked at least three of their asses before being submitted down ! What was happening to you ? He’s about to touch you, for the first time in agonizing months, he’s about to finally touch you, feel your skin again, as he aims for your bared shoulder (sexy dress by the way) but...he suddenly feels weak. Oh so weak.

Kryptonite. It’s kryptonite. And as he falls on the floor, he looks at you and...you’re looking back at him with absolutely no feelings in your eyes. Nothing. As if you were empty...He barely hears Lex’s voice as he says :

-I lied, I don’t actually need you. Just...pieces of you. I understood long ago that I couldn’t control you, but creating a new being with parts of you ? Yes, that I can do.

Conner doesn’t feel fear as he sees, from the corner of his eyes, Lex Luthor coming closer and closer no...all his focus is on you. And it hurts. More than the kryptonite.

It hurts to see you like that, to see you looking at him with such little feelings...did you say that you still felt friendship ? Yet, there is nothing in your wonderful (E/C) eyes right now...Or...is there really nothing ?

As the light of the kryptonite illuminates your face and Lex crouches next to Conner, your brow furrows. And when he says :

-I have no idea what’s wrong with you kid, but thank you for not doing anything right now haha. I know the bat, and I know the cat, I was assuming their daughter would be a pain in the ass but I guess not and...

Yes. This makes you react. A kick. A nice kick to the chin gets him just fine.

Lex falls backward, and he’s pretty sure you broke his jaw. Damn good, powerful and well placed kicked. Definitely Batman’s daughter.

But something is wrong with you. It’s like you acted out of automatism rather than because you really wanted to defend Conner. And if there’s one thing that Lex is good at is...taking opportunities.

You have fast reflexes, but you feel like your mind is clouded and...Lex’s kryptonite sharp knife is coming fast toward you and...it never hits you.

Conner.

He stood up, he somehow fought the kryptonite and stood up and...the knife is deep in his stomach. And...

Your fists move on their on.

One punch. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight...you loose count.

You’re beating Lex Luthor to a pulp, that’s all you know. At some point, someone is taking you away and...

-Dad...

-Yes, yes I’m here my little one...

-Conner...

What happened ? Why do you feel like you missed a lot ? Those past few months are such a blur...And Conner.

-CONNER !!

-It’s ok, it’s ok he’s...

-CONNER !! CONNER !!

It seems like it’s the only thing you can scream, and as you see him on the floor, bleeding out, Tim next to him already trying to fix him...Your heart breaks.

Were you going to loose him ? What happened ? Why was he stabbed ? And by what ? By who ?

Why did you feel like you already lost him ? No. No you couldn’t loose him. No !

He wanted to marry you, and you wanted that too, not now, but you wanted and...No, you couldn’t loose him !

-CONNER !!

You’re almost sure you heard him whisper, his voice way too weak, “(Y/N)” but nothing is certain anymore and...black. Everything is black.

************

You wake up in a hospital room, and you’re pretty sure it’s on the League’s Watchtower. It just doesn’t seem like any hospital room and...Your dad is there, asleep next to you. Your brothers too. And Conner. But...why is he so far in the corner of the room ?

-Conner...

You whisper. Your voice is hoarse and your throat hurts but...he ears you. Of course he does.

He opens his eyes and looks at you and...he looks so awful.

And he doesn’t approach you...At least, not until you raise a hand weakly, and he finally dares to come. Slowly. It’s so unlike him...

-What...happened...?

You barely remembers and...He explains.

And you understand. Oh you understand.

Months of being heartbroken and lost made him...afraid of you almost. Afraid that you’d hurt him further. He explains the all breakup, and how you slowly drifted further away each days from your family...but you don’t remember any of this ? You love Conner. You know it. No one ever made you feel like this. And your family ? It’s everything to you.

You don’t remember any of that. The last thing you remember is...

-The Wasp sting. It’s what...changed you. Your ex, that...jerk. His father has a shady pharmaceutical enterprise where they did tests and...they have a “feeling inhibitor”. Suppose to be used on humans to make fearless soldiers. But the idiot thought it only worked on love. thought you’d stop loving me and he would have a chance again. Your dad gave you an antidote and I...i...

His voice breaks and your hand running in his hair is the best thing he ever felt. This nightmare was over. You were back...

As Conner explains, things start to make a bit more sense. Antoine released the wasp right next to you and you killed it as it stung you were the only one touched. And oh...that’s why it seemed like you just got out of a bad dream...

But you don’t care about yourself. You only care about him. And the more he talks about those past few months, the more he leans in your touch, and the more you feel awful.

-I’m so sorry Conner...I’m so sorry...

-It wasn’t you...

-I’m still sorry...I love you...I love you I didn’t lie, I love you. I love you so much...

Conner’s heart flutters and..yes. You love him. So much that you outmatched an incredibly powerful drug that killed all your feelings as Lex stabbed him. You loved him so much that your mind ignored the CHEMICAL drugs and saved him. Because his life was in danger, you overcome the impossible...

You loved him. You cared. And that’s really all he wanted in life.

You were back...

You went to grab him but accidentally touch the area where he got stabbed, that wasn’t healed properly yet and...he winces. You pull your hand away but he grabs it. He’s not about to let you go again. And as he wraps your arms around his shoulders, sits on the bed and bend down to kiss you...He feels alive once again. You’re here. And you love him. You truly love him. His feelings are returned. Well...not exactly :

It is impossible that you love him as much as he loves you.

But still. You do love him. And as he deepens the kiss he cannot help but think about...

-LET GO OFF MY SISTER FOR GOD’S SAKE !!

Damian somehow managed to jump on your boyfriend’s back (yes, your boyfriend, he’s yours, you’re his) and woke everyone up and...you gotta admit, Conner trying to untie your brother from his back, Damian trying to bite him, and your dad and other brothers waking up with a start and automatically going on a fighting stance ? Perfect. Perfectly hilarious.

___________________

It’s so long I’m so sorry. It’s also very “meh”, worst than “meh” really...I feel like it’s rushed as usual, and does it make sense ? Thanks a lot if you read the entire fucking thing ! and...yeah. Meh.

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waddlesdpig · 5 years

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TOP COMICBOOK WRITERS OF 2018

The following is a quick write up about my personal favorite writers for 2018, spoilers and bad jokes ahead.

Wow, will you, wow, just look at, wow all that time wow. 2018 came and went like my dad after McDonald’s McRib was back in season! Tragic loss of delicious parents aside, we can’t look ahead to the new year without reviewing what the things that came before!

In this case the Top Comicbook Writers of 2018. I mean you knew this was coming, you read the title. Y-You can read the title right? Oh god all those people with Can’t-Readitis are going to be so lost!

2018 was crazy, but for comic books it was like a good crazy. Kinda like when you eat at a Chinese restaurant and find out they sell pizza, but like actual pizza. And not just in the movies, with Marvel and DC digging deep to revitalize and strengthen their IP’s, we got some of the best comics from the big two in a long while. At the center of this movement has been fresh and exciting writers taking these titles in new directions. So now being the leading authority in basement dwelling blogging hogs, i felt the need to highlight some of my favorite Comic book writers of 2018. First examining those wonderful folks at Marvel Comics.

(Side note, not only am i the world’s greatest blogging hog, i am also a huge flithy casual of the highest order and as such any of my lists for 2018 will not include any indie titles even though there be a great many fantastic non-big two comics.)

MARVEL

DONNY CATES

Whoo boy, i don’t think it’d be a exaggeration to say that Hank Hill’s next door neighbor has had a stellar year comics-wise. Coming out early in the year with the stellar “ Thanos wins” story arc that pushed the big man Grimace himself into new territory in fantastic fashion. Something that would only carry forward with his brand new OC introduced in the run, that being “ Cosmic Ghost Rider.” Which is like the regular Ghost Rider but in SPAAAAAACEEE! Suffice to say he’s a very cool character, with his spin-off title living up to the hype.

These two runs in themselves would be deserved feathers in anyones cap, however with the Marvel Fresh Start initiative, Cates provided what is the crowning achievement of his work this year. This being Venom. Without a doubt since he and superstar artist Ryan Stegman have taken over, the title has become one of the most entertaining books Marvel has been pushing out.

Cates has done a wonderful job of balancing the tone, knowing when to lean into the edge associated with the character and but also not depraving the title of brevity or more light hearted moments. This coupled with the epic reimagining of key aspects of Venom’s backstory and building to climatic moments that i hate are going to be sullied in the next Venom movie ( Dem Chinese audiences enjoying something that mildly annoys me ;-;).

In Venom however we find more than big action, grand stakes, and epic concepts, as Cates has made it a point to consider introspectively Venom and it’s host relationship with each other. At some points wholesome, at others disturbing, but always engaging and because of that it has propelled Venom to a title worthy of standing alone from it’s Spider-Man origins.

CHIP ZDARSKY

I love Spider-Man, you probably love the fashion model dating luckless webhead yourself in one way or another. Whether it’s the original Lee/Ditko comics, the 1980’s animated show, MCU movies, or this guy, one way or another Spidey has found a way to web himself into the hearts of generations of people all over the world. So i can almost guarantee you love Chip Zdarsky and you didn’t even know it. (Think about all those valentines you missed out on sending to the man!)

Chip’s run on Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man didn’t start in 2018, but it ended this year so i’m still counting it. While the first few issues were enjoyable in their own right, for me it wasn’t until Spectacular Spider-Man 6 ( #296 legacy number because Marvel never learned counting in pre-school) that things really started kicking into gear. As readers we are well aquatinted with the quipping more ridiculous side of the menace, but from issue 6 onward Chip makes it his focus to remind us that the Man matters just as much as the Spider.

He portrays Spider-Man as he should be, the everyman hero that anyone can look up too. You still got your jokes and your villains and your good times, but more than ever Chip’s Peter is willing to lift the mask and show that he just that, a man. So many times throughout the title we find Peter allowing himself to be vulnerable, not just to friends and comrades but to those who have sought his end so many times. Giving us a Peter who is a hero, not just through his heroics, but also because he is willing to look for the good in others and not afraid to empathize with those around him. And in that way Chip has given us, in many respects, the Spider-Man we’ve always known and love. And for that he has my thanks.

In addition to what will probably become a fan favorite take on Spider-Man which already warrants use of the “ Spectacular” adjective, Chip also helped bring the Fantastic Four ( or at least The Terrific Two) back into the spotlight with Marvel’s Two-in-One. ( A title name which might excite and immediately disappoint fans of Chip’s earlier work at Image.)

Marvel Two-in-One focuses on the two remaining members of the splintered Fantastic Four, primarily how the main duo deal with assumably losing the rest of their family and just how far both are willing to go to regain them. In this book particularly i feel Chip did a magnificent job exploring the character drama, you can really feel the longing and grief that these two are experiencing, but at the same time manages to balance this with fun reality jumping shenanigans that never overstay they’re welcome. All in all another incredible title that made 2018 an absolutely amazing year for Chip, with 2019 looking to be a another stellar year for him. ( Can’t wait for his run on Red Batman!)

Side note it should be no surprise that my top two Marvel writers for the year had a part in this hot spider on spider strip here.

AL EWING

BOO! Scared you? Probably not ( scary amount of cringe if anything ). Now if you want some real spookums Al Ewing is just the guy for you as 2018 saw the release of The Immortal Hulk, one of if not arguably the best comic of the last year.

The Hulk has always been a mixed bag for me, i love the premise of the character: Quiet on the streets, radioactive green giant in the sheets. There’s an inherit struggle that can make for some compelling story opportunities in the right hands. But that’s just the thin, for me personally i hadn’t read anything that spoke to that idea i have for the character. Don’t get me wrong in the 57 years of the characters existence there have been some pretty good Hulk stories. ( Some of which i’m still getting around to reading)

But none have appealed to me quite like Al Ewing and Joe Benett’s run on the title. The two masterfully has given this tale a fresh start by ironically taking the character back to his roots in the horror genre. The creative duo manage to achieve this through turning Hulk from misunderstood hero to essentially a wandering monster bent on exacting his own sense of justice on the scum of the world. This change in the status quo is excellently executed effectively through the artwork. No longer standing proud in defiance of those who would doubt him for the hero he is, Joe Benett pencils depict the hulking giant now as a grotesque monster lurking in the shadows ready for his next victim.

This would all be for nothing if not for the strong voice Al Ewing has for this title. The Immortal green bean is not scary only because he can snap you in half like a brittle wishbone, but because he instills fear with the scariest thing known to man.. emotional insecurities. (That’s right folks we got a bitter beefed up Dr.Phil serving justice up like it’s a buffet.) Not content to beat you dead, Hulk now tortures those unlucky enough to be his targets by holding up a mirror to the horrors that haunt them. This applies to more than those Hulk seeks to punish, the real genius of The Immortal Hulk isn’t that he is the thing keeping scum up at night, no it’s that he is the never ending nightmare of Bruce Banner. Throughout the run Hulk haunts Banner in showing that they’re only two half’s of the same coin. Leaving Banner and the reader with eerie thoughts that linger on whether the mad beast is right all along.

This is all too say that The Immortal Hulk is pretty dang good, your probably reading it already, if not you should probably read it. ( You know as long as you don’t have can’t-readitis) And if issue 11 is anything to go by 2019 is looking horribly wonderful for Al Ewing and the jolly green giant.

And that’s it, my top three Marvel writers for 2018. In all honesty last year was crazy for Marvel, i’m leaving out so many amazing people making their mark in the comics industry and all things considering here’s hoping we’re in store for even greater things in 2019.

#marvel #comic books #spiderman #venom #immortal hulk #shill_ler's list #McRibs are McMurder

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redrobin-detective · 7 years

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I got tagged by buff and wonderful @timdrakeothy and I haven't done these in a while cause, well, I'm drowning in asks all the time but I decided to do one again :) Thanks so much man!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better

Nicknames: I don't really have one? Meg? But not a lot of people call me that

Star sign: Cancer

Height: 5'3" and ready 2 fyght

Time right now: 8:00pm

Last thing you googled: I looked up what cardiac ablation was because I was studying for my adult health quiz Wednesday (Apparently it's a surgical procedure where you enter the heart via a catheter and basically electroshock the electrical pace setting area in your heart to kill some of the tissue and hopefully reset the electrical pattern. It's used for things like severe A Fib and A Flutter but sounds pretty whack to me)

Fave music artist: I've been in a weird place lately in that I've always been a classic rock girl but lately I've been exploring and fallen super hard for 2000's and up alternative/folk/punk bands. Of Monsters and Men, Mumford and Sons, One Republic, Train, X Ambassadors. Right now I'm highkey obsessed with Florence + the Machine. Know any other bands that fit this model LET ME KNOW.

Song stuck in my head: Hold on Forever by Rob Thomas, heard on the radio and it won't leave.

Last movie I watched: Once Upon a Time in America, the last Sergio Leone film

Last tv show I watched: Powerless On Demand this morning when I recalled that it aired last night

What I’m wearing right now: My beloved Superboy shirt and some black sweatpants.

When I created this blog: God it was June 2013, I'd been the hugest Doctor Who fan and I needed people to talk to about my love (or to talk to in general) so I caved and joined. God I was here for the DW 50th anniversary special goddamn. I've know @historygrump for nearly 4 years wtf man where does time go?

The kind of stuff I post: I swear this used to be a pure Doctor Who blog once upon a time. I'll post a little bit of everything but clearly I hone in on whatever I'm interested in at the moment. DW was big, manga (mostly FMA), Elementary, various cartoons, music, movies, books, funny stuff. And yes Batman, apparently I've become a Tim Drake hotspot, who knew?

Do I get asks regularly? I get so many I have no idea how this happened. Like wow guys, I still can't believe it but I answer upwards of 20 a day. It's nuts, I'm starting to fall behind which I feel bad about but school's getting overwhelming and I'm too tired to answer them all but I love hearing from you guys.

Why did I choose my url: Oh I've been waiting for this one. I have a very specific image in my mind. Tim is sitting in an armchair, facing away. It's in black and white, he's going on about how he'll take the case. He turns, he's in his Red Robin suit accept there's a fedora on his head. "Nice to meet cha, I'm Red Robin, detective" in that 30s noir tone cause I love that shit and I bet Tim does too

Gender: Lady

Hogwarts House: I'd been told for years I'm Ravenclaw, was forced to do the online test and it was confirmed. Go blue birds.

Pokémon team: The science one?

Favorite color: I really love green, a warm, light olive green that earthy. The color of my bedroom walls my dad painted while I was at school. I love it, it's so soothing.

Average hours of sleep: I am a grad student and I get about 6-8 hours per night and if you aren't amazed get out of my face (also no caffeine addiction!)

Lucky number: 11, 11 has always been my number, always. Ironic too since I graduated high school in 2011.

Favorite characters: Tim Drake, Sherlock Holmes, Elizabeth Bennett, the Doctor, Edward Elric, Danny Phantom and more but sticking to utmost favs

Dream job: I'm training to be a nurse but I don't want to be a hospital nurse? At least not forever, I'll start out there, maybe in L&D or OB but then I want to do something else with nursing, don't know what. Maybe Navy nursing and travel, Forensic nursing, Nurse midwife, the possibilities are endless.

Number of blankets I sleep with: I only have my comforter cause I hate layers and I hate feeling trapped (winter and me don't get along) but I'm always colder than shit. I have a heated mattress pad, I tell you I actually would die without it. It's currently on 4 now, I'm very toasty.

Following: 12 because I am extremely picky about my dash and I love all the people I meet on here but I want to keep it to a manageable number.

Tagging!: @jaybirbwalking, @dianaraven, @aka-hawkguy, @blueasthebeetle, @brucewhynes, @iphoenixrising, @loxare, @hummelfun, @timaltman, @3purpleraven3, @theblackbat, @bat-reputation, @sassyminnesotan, @jayredwing, @tumdrake, @historygrump, @leia--stardust, @martianmanhuntter, @jayactivist, @nytpicking, @randomgothamcitizen, @beckermorricone, @murgadur, @deadsrobinscircle

#thank you!

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nickhembery · 4 years

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the view from the armchair

the Things are crap, thousands of people are dying, our (my) leaders are incompetent boobs and the best thing people can do to help a struggling healthcare system is to clap once a week. So, let’s talk about something completely inconsequential. Did anyone see the latest Star Wars? It came out in December, just before Christmas. It was the crappest thing to happen at that time.

There’s been a long list of essays, videos, blogs and the like discussing what’s wrong with it. Plot holes, retconning, near-zero lgbt representation. I wanted to look at how it happened. How you could take a beloved movie series and throw it in the toilet (making it crap).

For the purposes of this post, I’m gong to focus on those with the writing credits of the movie. All information is taken from imdb, wikipedia, and all opinions are my own.

Right, four people (all white dudes) have writing credits on the shitshow. They are, Colin Trevorrow (story), Derek Connolly (story), Chris Terrio (story and screenplay), JJ Abrams (story and screenplay and directing).

Let’s start with Colin Trevorrow. Is it all his fault? What has he written before Episode 9? Is it all bad? Let’s see. Prior to Star Wars his writing credits are Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I’ve not seen either of these movies, I’ve heard that the second one includes people training dinosaurs to attack whoever has a special laser pointer pointed at them, great for assassinations in lieu of say, a gun. Was it all him one those movies? No, the one with laser gun also had... Derek Connolly. Oh dear. But the first one was good enough to get a sequel and... hmm. Three other writers on that one. Not looking good for Colin. But then, if a movie can have one bad writer out of four and still be okay, then how was Star Wars so bad? Time to move on.

Derek Connolly. A name I had never heard before looking up the Star Wars writers. He’s got a couple more writing credits then Colin, and not bad ones. As well as the Jurassic Worlds there’s Detective Pikachu which was enjoyable, and Kong: Skull Island, which I’ve heard good things about. Detective Pikachu also had a big writing team and... oh boy. There’s a couple of jobbing writers, the maker of Monster vs Aliens and Shark Tale, and a writer on Guardians of the Galaxy and Captain Marvel. But maybe Derek was the secret sauce for Kong: Skull Island? No, that one had the guy that wrote Nightcrawler solo and a writer on the latest Godzilla adaptions. It appears, ladies and gentlemen, that Mr Connolly was carried on his better titles.

But that’s only half the writing team, and neither Colin or Derek did the heavy lifting on Star Wars. What about our screenplay writers? Were they dragged down by dead weight?

Chris Terrio, man of the hour, from where did you fly? Hardly any writing credits on this man. He’s got Justice League with Zack Snyder and Joss Whedon. Um. Okay. I’ve not seen it but a movie doesn’t spawn a meme about a secret director’s cut without being bad. His other super credit is Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice with Davd S Goyer. This I have seen. I describe it as two passable movies being smashed together into a terrible mess. How does this man have a career? Here it is, Argo! He wrote that awesome movie about rescuing the people from the embassy in Tehran! That was amazing, I think it won an oscar or two. Who’d he do that with? A book about the events and a magazine article. Oh no. His claim to fame is adapting other people’s work into a screenplay.

So JJ, what happened? Were you saddled with these people against your will? I mean, looking at your list of hits you... hang on. I’m seeing something here. There is a distinct lack of a certain something in JJ Abrams career. Sequels, and endings. It really shines when you look at the TV credits. His “created by” span the whole show, but his “written by” credits are very few and mostly in the early seasons. The only TV exceptions is Alias, where he wrote two episodes a year, but not in the last season. His only actual movie sequel before Episode 9 was Mission Impossibly 3. Have you seen that one? It ignored the previous two movies entirely and sort of rebooted the franchise, suspiciously like The Force Awakens. I don’t think Abrams can do anything well aside start things. He had no follow-through.

Wow.

So, to sum up. There’s two hacks who let themselves be carried on big projects. A fool who adapted a book. And a man that’s never properly picked up someone’s work to try and continue it before. Great.

I’d say that’s mystery solved. At least they only made a movie, they weren’t entrusted with anything like running a country during a pandemic. If they were we’d be properly fucked.

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writer4god · 6 years

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By a lot of metrics, this last month was a total failure. I certainly didn’t complete my February goals.

I finished Iron Core and sent it to beta readers – and discovered it needed a lot more work.

I didn’t finish outlining the Lunetta series – in fact, I barely outlined the first book (which I’d planned to have nearly finished writing by now) and I don’t particularly like it at the moment.

I barely cracked open Spoiler Warning, and ended up figuratively throwing the document to the ground and stomping on it. UGH.

Finish Memory Walls? HA. What is that project again?

Don’t even get me started on my blogging goals. I didn’t even read four books, let alone write reviews for them. I posted one half-baked post on here and that’s it.

I sat down today with that page of goals, preparing for the month of March, and it was way too easy to consider this last month a failure.

But it wasn’t.

This month (especially in this last week), I was reminded of why I do all of this in the first place.

My Bible Institute classes started back up this last week, and one class has been speaking to me on a whole new level. It’s easy to get lost in the details – the book of John, written around 90 A.D., themes being life, belief, light vs. dark…

One quote – so face-slappingly simple, really – stood out from the rest.

Well, DUH, Bekah. You knew that.

If you’ve read my books, you know there’s a lot of darkness. There’s a lot of raw pain. There’s a lot of bad people doing some really bad things (kinda sounds like the world today, eh?).

I pride myself on writing the Batman characters of Christian fiction – the heroines that we don’t want, but kind of need right now. Girls that do hard things and endure harsh circumstances.

Lunetta from Iron Core is one of those. She was raised in prison. She has a mother in prison (I shan’t tell you her crimes – no spoilers!) and a brother who’s an assassin. She gets pressured into (possibly) murdering someone.

Her story was frustrating me, not just in the writing craft (which is definitely in process), but also in the darkness. I wasn’t happy writing this story. I was starting to wonder if it wasn’t too dark, if I wasn’t straying past the place a Christian writer should go.

All these thoughts spiraled still further, and made me start looking at myself. Why do I like writing these dark stories? Why do my characters steal and kill and… so much else?

Why can’t I write happy, fluffy Christian fiction like a lot of other authors I know?

Good question. It’s probably the same reason I can’t stand romances, like a lot of girls my age. It’s probably why I love digging deep into the origins of the Bible, the Greek/Hebrew words. It’s probably why I love putting myself into the shoes of women in the Bible such as Noah and Lot’s wives and trying to see through their eyes.

Writing is my way of learning. I want to understand stories of the Bible? I write about them. Slowly but surely, exploring fictional darkness, and drawing my characters closer to the Light is helping me to draw closer to the Light.

ANYWAY. Ramble over. In the words of David:

Judge me, O LORD; for I have walked in mine integrity; I have trusted also in the LORD; therefore I shall not slide.

Examine me, O LORD, and prove me: try my reins and my heart. – Psalm 26:1-2

Bible Institute classes are reminding me of what a great God I have and that I really ought to stop listening to myself and listen to Him more.

Am I done with writing darker fiction? No. I still believe that gritty stuff happens, and I’m still striving to be realistic and gritty in my fiction.

But what I am learning is to listen to God more, to return to the Biblical roots of my stories.

February wasn’t a failure, it was an introspective month.

Even though I didn’t achieve the goals that I set at the beginning of the month, I did achieve some things.

I sent Iron Core to the lovely C.S. Taylor , and she’s been a tremendous help in making the story the best it can be. (Click on her name to go check out her blog. Seriously.)

I’ve begun brainstorming a Rapunzel story (squee!) for a contest. This is seriously one of my favorite fairy tales, mostly due to the amount of HAIR, so I’m very much looking forward to getting into this.

I’ve looked into and taken some serious steps at improving both my writing and my career – including being involved in the beginnings of a critique group, researching a coaching program, and stalking certain professional authors whose careers I want to emulate. Big things are coming, folks!

More mock-up covers for Iron Core. I’m still not sure this is the final cover. What do you think? What kind of story does this look like to you?

I’ve continued blogging over at The Branches of Jesus. That link will lead you to Hidden Stories: Naamah, my view of the life of Noah’s wife and her perspective on the whole Ark business.

I’ve survived the first two weeks of Bible Institute classes! In fact, I managed to pass off making pretty graphics as studying. (Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m not fooling anyone but myself, but still. That was fun.)

I came home from one of said classes with EIGHT new book ideas. I seriously need a ghost writer at this point, because I am never going to finish all these ideas.

As you can already tell, I fixed up the blog! 🙂 The previous design worked before, but both I and my writing have grown since the blog was first set up, and it was time for an upgrade! You’ll see some new things hanging around, such as the “Follow this blog via email” button over here on the right. *hinthint* I was having issues with family members unable to get the blog posts in their email, and that should fix it.

Kudos to you few people who made it this far. This is honestly the longest blog post I have ever written, and I’m starting to wonder if any of it even makes sense.

I went over my goals for the last month, and here are MY GOALS FOR MARCH (yes, I’m being nicer to myself this time).

Complete Iron Core. I’d originally set the publication date for March 17th, but I’m not going to stress about it. Revisions and edits are being done and, if I don’t finish them before that date, I don’t finish them before that date.

Write and publish four blog posts. Yes, until I find I can handle more, I’m setting my blog posts to once-a-week things. As of the moment, I’m going to:

Talk about the book of John from a writer’s perspective (yes, that also counts as studying),

Share a short story! I have a few in the works off-screen right now, especially future Hidden Stories, that I’d really love to share with you guys.

One book review. I read The Girl Who Could See, by a fellow-MK author, Kara Swanson, and I WILL WRITE A REVIEW FOR THIS BOOK IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO.

(c’mon, admit it. Even the cover is totally epic.)

Slow down a bit. This isn’t a writing goal, per se, but it definitely affects said writing. 🙂 Over this last year, I spent a lot of time rushing to and from places, trying to get things done. To be honest, I really neglected some friendship as well as my own health of mind. This month, I’m going to try and slow down, have more meaningful conversations, write more silly stuff, read more books (books I want to read, not just ones I should), stargaze a bit more. It’s like William Henry Davies said in his poem “Leisure”:

What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass, Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight, Streams full of stars like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance, And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare. – William Henry Davies

I’m going to comment on more blog posts. 🙂 I dropped my blog-reading challenge all the way back in October when it got to be too much, but I’m looking forward to slowly picking it back up and getting to know some more amazing people.

I guess that’s it? Wow, this post is seriously all over the place (and it’s officially the longest blog post I have ever written, if I’m not mistaken.) A huge congrats to you people who have actually made it this far… thank you. ❤

What about you? Ramble to me about your life. How are things going? How can I pray for you? What are your goals for this next month? Also, any other random things you want to share. Link me to your blog so I can read. Anything. I’m all ears. Tell me about YOU.

There are goals, and then there is life. Life holds doubts, procrastination, and a million other things. Life also has rambles. COME OVER TO THE DARK SIDE, although I may have eaten all the cookies, though. By a lot of metrics, this last month was a total failure. I certainly didn't complete…

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ellana-ravenwood · 7 years

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“It’s them, but it’s not them !” 2/2 -Bruce Wayne x Reader

@m-fairbank also asked the same thing, things happening on Batmom’s point of you, and also some of the batboys...and I kinda planned something like that anyway. So here’s a sequel for “It’s her but it’s not her”, and I hope you’ll like it (and hope the “mixed feelings” were still good ones ;-)) AGAIN felt like I could write something better, might re-write everything...I rushed a bit writing it cause I’m in L.A but I also wanted to write something and...I guess it’s this kind of time eh.

Summary : Batman and his kids accidentally got send in an alternate dimension, and Batmom has the displeasure of realizing that her Bruce from this other world is...not hers at all.

FINISHED SERIES : PART 1

my master list blog :@ella-ravenwood-archives

_____________________________________________________________________

When your husband and kids came home with Diana and Clark, you didn’t think too much of it. It wasn’t unusual for your friends to come over to the bat cave and work, or even just chill.

But when you went to kiss Bruce, and you felt him stiffen under your touch. When he didn’t kiss back, and even moved away, his head moving back and forth between you and Clark, stunned. When your sons stared at you with wide eyes and open mouthes...you realized something was wrong.

-Wh...what is it ?

Bruce didn’t say anything, he found he couldn’t say anything. The Hell just happened ? Clark’s wife just kissed him ! And...What was she doing in the bat cave anyway, at this hour ?

Under your husband’s gaze, you felt uncomfortable for the first time in your life. Usually, he had the opposite effect on you, you were always so relaxed around him. Even during charity balls or such obligations you had as Waynes, when your introverted self felt awful, his mere presence calmed you down and helped you get threw the night.

But right now, the way he was looking at you made you shiver. You didn’t recognize his usual look...In his eyes right now, there were no love, no relief to see you well and alive, no joy, no slight impatience to finally get to bed with you. Instead, there was confusion, embarrassment, and a slight touch of curiosity maybe ?

And your children...None of them rushed to hug you first, or to tell you who’s ass they kicked this time.

Something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

Clark approached you, and laid a soothing hand on your shoulder.

-They...Hum...They’re not who you think they are.

Diana rolled her eyes, leave it to Superman to not be able to actually explain something properly. She came close to you too, and said :

-There was an...accident with the League. A portal open and your family went threw, they came back, and they’re not...

-I understood what Clark meant.

Even though the situation was serious, Superman couldn’t help but give a look at Wonder Woman that meant : “See, she got it”. Diana stuck her tongue out to him. Those two could sometimes be so childish. And cute. But right now, you weren’t feeling like you could appreciate how cute they could be together.

You looked at Bruce, and you were sure everything was true. This wasn’t your Bruce. And they weren’t your children...You felt sick. And you fainted. The Batman was the fastest to catch you, and you collapsed in his arms.

You were as light as a feather, and holding you like that made him feel weird...he just couldn’t pinpoint what exactly were those feelings.

Alfred rushed toward you guys, and said :

-Oh my oh my oh my, let’s take her to your...hum...Her room I guess. Follow me...Master Bruce.

**********************

Bruce, not your Bruce, another one, took you to the room you shared with your husband. You were still unconscious. Too many emotions at once. What if this “portal” couldn’t be re-open, meaning you’d never see your family again ? No. That couldn’t happen. And yet...

Batman laid you down delicately in the bed, noticing that it was left undone and that there were definitely two people usually sharing this bed. He didn’t really know what he felt right now. So, in this World, you weren’t his best friend’s wife, you were...His.

-Come Master Bruce, let Lady (Y/N) rest, it must be quite a shock to...Well, you know.

He definitely knew. He couldn’t believe it, in his World, you and Clark were so in love...Yes, he knew you had a crush on him years ago, and he liked you too, but he also knew that in his line of work, there was no time for serious relationship and all...Was he wrong ? Did he make a mistake ? According to what his friends from this World’s League told him, everything was fine here too, mostly thanks to the Batman, to this other him who was...married. To you. His best friend’s dear wife. Who used to like him, and vice versa. He just couldn’t wrap his head around that.

Him and his children followed Alfred threw corridors, and they couldn’t help but stop at almost every pictures hung on the walls. It wasn’t austere paintings like in their house, it was colorful photographs.

Dick stopped in front of a picture where he just graduated from High School, and you and Bruce were on each side of him, arms around his shoulder. All of you smiled, even the bat. “I’m so proud of you son”, was written on the picture, signed by Bruce. A little cute heart followed by “I love you my wonder boy, you’re the most fantastic one ever !” was also written, with a signature he didn’t recognize, probably yours. His heart tightened, Bruce wasn’t even at his graduation day where he came from...

Jason’s eyes got attracted by a picture where he was sitting on Bruce’s shoulders. Bruce was looking up at him, a bright smile on his face, one of his hand holding his, while the other held the hand of Clark Kent’s wife...Apparently his wife in this world. You. Jason looked happier than he ever felt in this picture. In his free hand, the one Bruce wasn’t holding, he had some cotton candy. On the bottom of the picture was written : “Gotham Fair, summer 1996, picture proudly taken by yours truly, Dick Grayson”. How was this possible ? In his World, Bruce and Jason weren’t on the best terms at all. They actually rarely spoke, though they worked together...This was all so unsettling.

Tim was in front of a picture of him, age 10 or something. Bruce was holding him in his arms, hugging him lovingly. You were next to him, holding a trophy in your hand, and Tim recognize the science fair he won 7 years ago, but neither Bruce nor you (obviously) were there to congratulate him. He was smiling like crazy, his arms in the air as a sign of victory, and Bruce was raising him almost above his head, pride shining in his face. The caption under the picture read : “Timmy winning the science fair, 4th grade, picture taken by proud big brother Jason (Dick was flirting with Tim’s teacher, of course he would...)”. Tim felt tears welled up in his eyes, his life was so far from what he was seeing on this picture...

Damian stopped in front of one where it was just you and him. Outside on a snowy day. You were bending down a bit to be at his height, your arms slung around him, clearly laughing, and he was...smiling. Not of the fake smile he gave people at charity balls and such, no, a real, true, heartfelt smile. He never smiled like that...Also, he was holding your arms in a sideway hug. He couldn’t remember one time he ever hug anyone, or been hugged. Under the picture was written : “Damian and mom, Winter 2016, Dami’s first snowballs fight, picture taken by a very defeated Bruce”.

Bruce was standing in front of a picture that made his heart beat faster than ever. It was you and him, he wore a beautiful suit, and you were in a wedding dress. Your foreheads touched, and the smiles on both your faces were the most broad and beautiful. “Wedding day, 1992, picture taken by little Dickie”. His eyes then went to the picture next to that, you were both in front of a Japanese temple, he was kissing the crown of your head, and you were smiling, your hand splayed on his chest, your head on his chest. “Honeymoon, 1992, Japan”. Next picture, you and him at a charity ball. You were so beautiful. The entire wall was just pictures of the two of you, and another life he could have had unfolded in front of him. That other Bruce seemed so happy...Maybe he did make a mistake by turning you down all those years ago.

Dick took him away from his sad thoughts :

-Wow. It sure seems like we have very different lives here eh...

-No shit right ? Maybe I never got beaten by the Joker with a crowbar here...

Alfred jumped in, so far, he didn’t say anything and let them look at the pictures that littered the walls :

-I’m afraid you did die, master Jason. However, Lady (Y/N) convinced you long ago to give up your...murderous ways you adopted after you came back to life.

-Oh...Well...Shit. That’s...That’s so weird. I feel weird.

-I feel weird too.

Tim said, looking at multiples pictures of himself and his brothers having a good time...Christmases, easters, birthdays...They were a real family here.

Damian didn’t say a word, but thought the same things. He felt jealous toward the other version of him. He had a dad and a mom. Real ones...

Bruce’s harsh voice stopped all of their thinkings.

-Let’s go boys, we have important things to do.

*******************

You woke up during the night, alone, and remembered everything. You felt sick again, but didn’t faint.

For the next two weeks, you tried to help them as best you could to find a way back home. You felt so strange, not being able to touch any of them without them stiffening under your fingers. You felt so strange, not being able to kiss your husband, or hold your children. You felt...incredibly sad. You missed them so much.

And they were no better. They had a hard time handling their discoveries. That in this world, they were a family, they were happier. Everything was not always perfect, according to Alfred, but they were...together.

Alfred’s heart bleed with the thought that somewhere, his Bruce wasn’t the one he raised at all. Somewhere, he never met you, and never got out of the dark well he fell into when he was 8. Somewhere, he was just The Dark Knight and nothing else...and apparently, he had a very difficult relationship with his sons.

You intervened multiple times to stop a dispute that sprout between them. All of this was so wrong...

At night, Bruce couldn’t sleep. More than usual. Plagued with dreams about what his life could have been.

*********************

Finally, they found a way home, though they weren’t sure they really wanted to leave. But they couldn’t stay, they couldn’t steal what their other selves had. It wouldn’t be right.

You felt a deep sadness in your heart though, as you saw them leave. From your understanding, their lives weren’t the greatest, and you couldn’t help but feel terrible at the thought of your children, and him, your Bruce, being miserable...however, they weren’t really yours, and when your family went threw the portal to return to you, you forgot everything. It made you feel guilty for a while, but what could you do ? Bruce’s decision in the other World were his. You felt so guilty feeling like it was his fault if things went that way...but realistically, it was...He’s the one that didn't let you enter his life.

However, the thoughts of that other Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian never left you. From the day your family came back, you loved them even more than before, if that was possible, and took care of them even more too. Because you realized that without you, things would be very different, and you hated how things would be. You hated the fact that they all looked so sad and distressed. That they all seem to lack love and affections so much. It made you physically sick to think about those other boys...So you turned your pain for them into love for the one you had. For your husband. For your sons. Because here, they were yours. And they’d always be yours.

However, you could just never forget about them, even though you thought it was kind of that other Bruce’s fault. You just couldn’t be that cold. Your heart went to those boys, and to the man that never married you. It might have been his fault if it didn’t happen, but you knew he didn’t deserve to be miserable...

******************

Back in his dimension, he was thinking about it, and would definitely agree with you. It was his fault. And he knew now that he made a terrible mistake years ago. He should’ve never turned you down all those years ago. Maybe now, he wouldn’t feel so hollow, so empty...Maybe you were the missing piece. But he could never have you. Not anymore, it was too late. You just had Clark’s child...

He put his head in his hands, and let himself cry. For the first time in years. Because the thought of what he let go off was just too painful. Things could be so different, for him AND for his children. Especially for the kids...they deserved so much better than a broken man unable to show them his affection.

They deserved you. But you were going to love that child you just got with Clark. His son was going to have the life his children should have had.

And it was all his fault...

The End.

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