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tinyinvadr · 5 months

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I’m back with another chapter! Thank you all so much for supporting this fic! It’s cool to know that people like the same stuff as I do, and it motivates me to write more!

Ch. 1/Ch. 2

Hide & Shrink

Chapter 3

I woke up on a plush surface, practically sinking into it. There was a part of me that wanted to still believe my entire experience with the Digital Circus was a dream, but I knew that couldn’t be true.

This wasn’t my bed. Not my real bed, at least. In fact, it didn’t feel like a bed at all, more like a giant pillow.

Right. The last thing that happened before I passed out was when I realized that Caine couldn’t change me back to my normal size. Which meant wherever I was, I was likely still tiny.

I finally opened my eyes, and the bright colors surrounding me were almost blinding. Massive blankets and pillows of every shade stretched as far as I could see.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, the pillows were kind of nice. It reminded me of pillow forts…

Of course. This was Kinger’s pillow fort. That made sense, since he was holding me before I passed out. He probably brought me there so I could rest.

“Oh, Pomni, you’re awake! You really had us scared back there.”

I don’t know how I didn’t notice that Kinger was also in the fort with me right away. Then again, he kind of blended in. His robes almost looked like one of the blankets.

I tried to scoot myself back, but the pillow was too soft and I ended up just sinking into it further.

“Oh, did you need help getting up? I’ve got you!”

Kinger started to reach for me, and I frantically tried to move away faster.

“Nononono! It’s okay! I’m okay!”

He could tell I was panicking and stopped, glancing away in shame.

“Aw, I’m sorry. I must be freaking you out right now. I know I’d be terrified if I was in your place. But there’s nothing to worry about! I won’t grab you again, and it’s perfectly safe in my impenetrable fortress, so we can just wait here until Caine gets this whole thing sorted out.”

Admittedly, I needed the levity, so I gave Kinger a nod of approval and willingly let myself sink into the pillow. I could see why he liked to hide in his fort. It was like a little break room from the overwhelming insanity of the circus.

But it wasn’t as impenetrable as he thought it was.

A pillow on the bottom of the fort suddenly slid out of place, and before either of us could react, a huge assortment of pillows and blankets came crashing down on us.

It was a chain reaction of disaster as Kinger fell onto the pillow I was laying on, and the sudden weight shift sent me flying into the air, only to fall on my face a couple inches away. As I struggled to push myself up, I could hear the voices of the others.

“Jax! What did you do that for?!”

“What? I wanted a pillow.”

“But… Pomni could’ve gotten hurt…”

“These are cartoon physics we’re workin’ with here. She’s fine, look.”

For the third time, I was grabbed without warning and lifted into the air, this time by Jax. The thought of what he might do made me sick. The others at least seemed like they were worried about me, but it was pretty clear that he didn’t care.

In front of me stood Ragatha, Gangle, and Zooble, all looking concerned. Well, at least Ragatha and Gangle. Zooble’s expressions are kind of hard to read.

“She doesn’t look fine…”

“Yeah. I’m sure she LOVES being grabbed like that, Jax. Totally not traumatizing at all.”

Jax simply laughed off their concerns, emoting by moving his hands and arms around a lot in a way that was definitely intentional.

“Hey, come on, you guys, Pomni can speak for herself. If she didn’t like it she’d say something. Isn’t that right, Pom?”

By the time he stopped talking and moving me around, I couldn’t hold back and I threw up. Again.

Jax quickly dropped me and backed up in disgust.

“Ew. Somebody call Bubble.”

Right as he said that, Bubble appeared in front of me, way too close for comfort.

“Cleanup crew at your service!”

I backed up as he started licking up the vomit just as he did the day before. He’s really a freaky little thing. Though he didn’t look so little from my perspective.

Caine appeared shortly afterward, shaking his head(?) at Bubble, but then shifted his attention to me.

“Goodness gracious! You sure are prone to getting sick, aren’t you? Do you need anything? Want me to carry you to your room?”

The last thing I wanted was to be picked up again, so I queasily backed up in protest.

“No, no, it’s fine, I can get there by myself.”

Just as I regained my balance enough to start walking away, Jax walked in front of me, nearly stepping on me.

“You sure about that, shorty?”

Ragatha glared at him again as she made her way over to Caine.

“Anyway, Caine, have you made any progress on finding a way to fix Pomni?”

“Nope! Still working on it! But don’t worry, I’m sure a solution will come to me soon! After all, this is the digital world, and anything is possible!”

Zooble scoffed. “Yeah. Anything except leaving.”

“That’s the spirit, Zooble! Now then, Pomni, I leave the choice up to you if you want any of us to escort you to your room, or anywhere else you might like to go!”

I really would have preferred to be alone, but that wasn’t an option on the off chance that Jax decided to try anything else. I needed someone I could trust. I needed the one person I’d been avoiding.

Keeping my eyes glued to the ground, I approached Ragatha.

“Um… Ragatha? Can I go with you?”

She didn’t say a word, and kneeled down in front of me, her hands resting on the floor. I looked up to meet her eyes, and she gave a reassuring smile as if to say that this would all be on my own terms, and she wasn’t going to grab me.

I was still hesitant to even get near her, but she had a calm patience that the others didn’t. It was like she was willing to wait there for as long as it took until I was ready. In each passing moment I could feel my nerves ease just a little bit more, and finally, I took the first step onto her hand.

Due to her being a rag doll, Ragatha’s hands didn’t feel much different from the pillow I was sitting on earlier. I sat myself down, continuing to look up at her as she watched and waited.

“You okay?” She asked, her voice soft and warm. I simply nodded, and she continued to smile and wait. “Just let me know when you’re ready for me to stand up.”

I gave her another nod of approval, and she slowly stood up, holding me close to her for support, but not too tight to where I felt trapped. As she lifted me up, I could see the others looking on in surprise at how calm I seemed.

“Alright guys, I’ll be back in a bit.” Ragatha said as she turned to walk down the hallways where everyone’s rooms were.

As soon as we were far enough away from the group, I finally worked up the courage to speak again.

“I… thank you…”

She let out a content sigh as she continued walking.

“Hey, I’ve got your back.”

#giant/tiny #g/t #giant tiny #g/t writing #tadc g/t

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rachelsfav-queer · 4 months

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I can’t sleep because my nose is all plugged up and also I slept in late this morning sooooo…

Late night Wenclair thoughts? I may smooth these out into a proper fic sometime so please don’t steal any of this! Thank you!

Below the cut just cause there’s a lot lol. All sfw stuff here, don’t worry

So, I just saw this post from @barblaz-arts with some of their sketches (sorry, I couldn’t find any pronouns on your blog and didn’t want to assume anything) and one of them was a “get-along shirt” shirt. So that made me think of Enid making a two person sweater for her and Wednesday to wear and Wednesday “begrudgingly” wearing it all the time lol. So she just constantly is trying to indirectly get Enid to ask her to wear it, cause she doesn’t want to admit that she actually loves wearing it cause of how close it allows her to be to Enid. Enid of course knows that Wednesday loves wearing it and why, but lets the seer think she’s being sneaky. (Thanks for the inspo barblaz, lol)

NEXT THOUGHT!

What about Wenclair’s first time sleeping in the same bed? Like, I imagine it’s probably a bit awkward and stiff for them. But I think that it’s actually Wednesday who breaks the tension by randomly blurting out something like “I want you to hold me… please” and like, she’s blushing, thinking she’s just ruined it all but Enid just smiles rolls over, opening her arms out to invite her to cuddle close. Ugh, can you imagine Wednesday slowly curling up against Enid as she becomes more comfortable in her gentle embrace?? 🥺🥺🥺

NEXT THOUGHT!

So, y’all remember that scene where after just barely meeting Enid, Wednesday opens up about her traumatic experience as a child that literally shaped who she currently is as a person, a characterization that so many people have criticized endlessly because they didn’t actually pay attention to this scene that explained explicitly why Wednesday acts the way she does and that it’s not just “teenage whiny ‘I hate my parents’ type angsty” stuff but actually an interesting and new take on these classic characters because these characters have been around for decades and it’s hard to come up with new stories while also keeping the characters the exact same…….

Sorry, I ranted again… sorry.

Anyway, y’all remember that scene, right? Well, I absolutely love it and what it implies for Wenclair. Because it shows how Enid is the only person who Wednesday shows true vulnerability to. Not even T*ler or X*vier with the infuriating love triangle they had. She comes close to it with Eugene and Pugsley, but only with Enid do we see that raw vulnerability. And I really like that.

So, to the actual point, I think that Wednesday actually has a lot of that throughout their relationship journey or whatever you wanna call it lol. Wednesday opens up to Enid and Enid only about she struggles with certain things and how she is truly afraid that her issues will end up pushing Enid away again, and for good this time. And Enid actually talks Wednesday through all this seriously. She tells her that yes, her behavior needs to be adjusted to no longer be toxic, but also assures her that she’s going to be there for her. She won’t tolerate genuine toxicity, but she will be understanding and patient with mistakes. Because that’s what Wednesday really needs and we see that in the show actually. Enid is the perfect deuteragonist to Wednesday because she holds her accountable in a way nobody else does in the show. She doesn’t dance around anything, calling Wednesday out for her sometimes toxic behavior but doing it in a compassionate way.

ITS BECAUSE SHE UNDERSTANDS WEDNESDAY IN A WAY NOBODY ELSE DOES EXCEPT HER FAMILY!!!! BECAUSE WEDNESDAY OPENED UP TO HER ALONE ABOUT HER PAST TRAUMA!!!!!!! they’re so fucking canon it’s not even funny

Anyway, this is all just for the point of Wednesday opening up to Enid, late at night, when neither of them can sleep. Wednesday because she needs to get these things off her chest and Enid because her girlfriend is struggling and she wants to be there for her in any way she can. Gods, I love them so muchhhhhh!!!!!!

NEXT THOUGHT!

On the thought of Wenclair being awake late at night, I believe with every bit of my being that whether you think “Wednesday is the top” or “Enid is the top” either way, Wednesday will either be little spoon or will be curled up against Enid’s side with Enid’s arms around her. Whatever way they’re cuddling, Enid is in someway holding Wednesday close. This right here goes hand in hand with my next thought, which is that Wednesday is very clearly autistic-coded and it’s almost painfully obvious lol. So, this means that Wednesday really likes the pressure of being held tight. She likes weighted blankets but not nearly as much as she likes being squeezed by Enid. That is all lol.

NEXT THOUGHT!

Autistic Wednesday and AuDHD Enid supporting each other’s neurodivergence wholeheartedly. Enid is always carrying around noise-canceling earbuds and headphones for Wednesday. The earbuds are for when Wednesday just needs basic protection from background noise, which is most times and the headphones are for situations when she needs something more heavy duty. So, when Wednesday’s getting overstimulated by the world and people around her. And with Enid’s touch being the only touch that Wednesday accepts without any sort of discomfort (yes I know that Gomez and Pugsley make contact with her too, but she looks slightly uncomfortable with it when they do it, compared to whenever Enid touches her, she doesn’t even seem fazed, not even when she’s a bit more excited and isn’t touching very lightly. There’s a clear difference) I think that Enid has a sort of “escape plan” where Enid will pull Wednesday away from situations where she’s uncomfortable. She’s always gentle, yet firm. Firm both for Wednesday’s sake because she needs the grounding but also to show anyone around to STAY BACK! Mmm, Enid being instinctually protective over Wednesday when she’s overwhelmed. Along with all that, Enid is basically a personal guard dog for Wednesday, keeping a clear distance limit for anyone around them, to ensure nobody bumps into Wednesday or touches her.

On the other hand, I think that Enid probably has texture issues with foods. So, Wednesday will act as a kind of “taste tester” but for textures whenever they come across new foods that Enid may want to try. Basically, Wednesday checks first to see if certain foods will trigger Enid’s texture issues or if they’re safe for her to try. Wednesday knows by heart what textures bother Enid and so is distinctly capable of handling this task and does it happily. And for Enid’s ADHD, Wednesday doesn’t particularly understand Enid’s struggles but is by far the single most supportive and understanding person to Enid’s symptoms. Whether it’s Time Blindness or Executive Dysfunction or whatever issues she’s dealing with, Wednesday either acts as an assistant to help Enid work through it, or if she’s unable to for whatever reason, Wednesday doesn’t let Enid for even a single moment feel guilty about it, reassuring her entirely.

Basically, they’re each other’s best support and they work together to help each other!

NEXT THOUGHT!

I HC Wednesday being into like, heavy rock/metal music. More specifically, I think she loves Ghost (definitely introduced to them by Yoko, same goes for all the other rock music she listens to) and so I think that Wednesday and Enid actually influence each other’s music tastes, so Enid’s listening to some of Wednesday’s rock playlists and Wednesday’s listening to Enid’s kpop playlists. At first, both do it simply are interested in being involved in each other’s interests. But, they both find themselves relating to the music they’re listening to and actually loving it just as much as the other does.

All of this is to say,,,,,,, Wenclair going to a Ghost ritual wearing the merch and Wenclair going to a kpop show (sorry I don’t listen to kpop so I don’t know any bands) wearing the merch.

Please someone draw either or both of these I am begging on my hands and knees please please please pleaseeeeeeeeee

Whew, OKAYYYY!!! I think that’s all I got lol. It’s almost 2 in the morning and I still don’t feel even slightly tired… this is painful lol

I hope y’all enjoy my sleep-deprived brainrotted wenclair thoughts lol. Feel free to share your thoughts on any of these either in the reblogs, replies, or my askbox! I’d love to know that I’m not alone in these thoughts and I’m not just losing my mind…… pls

#rachel talks #wenclair #wenclair brainrot #wednesday x enid #wednesday addams #enid sinclair #autistic wednesday addams #autistic enid sinclair #adhd enid sinclair #wednesday 2022 #wednesday netflix

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starsandlightning · 5 months

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Listen y’all I know we don’t KNOW KNOW that Crowley was traumatized by his Fall, but I think we have some pretty compelling evidence that he was. Not hating if your headcannon is that he’s exactly as unbothered about it as he acts like he is, cause I won’t lie that shit is funny. Still, I don’t think it’s just us projecting our queer religious trauma onto him when we headcannon him as being traumatized over it.

I mean, take Angel!Crowley from the beginning of season two. That man is PURE. Like, yes, he’s got questions, but he is also excitable and joyous and sweet (Angel!Crowley altered my brain chemistry he’s so fucking precious I can’t). And, I mean. Demon!Crowley is still all of that, but he hides it under about ten thousand layers of snark and sarcasm. Wonder what could’ve happened between then and now to make him put his guard up 👀

Plus while the whole “sauntered vaguely downwards” and “just hung around with the wrong people” stuff could absolutely be how he honestly feels (again no hate to people who headcannon him this way), it’s also very possible that it’s another of his defense mechanisms. Yk the whole acting like it’s nothing when it’s very much not nothing thing.

There was also how he reacted when Aziraphale asked him to be an angel with him again. Don’t think I have to go into much detail here honestly (y’all know what I’m getting at here).

Anyway. Again, no hate whatsoever to people who don’t headcannon this. Really the point of this post is just let people believe what they wanna believe. We all have our own takes and that’s great cause at the end of the day we all love our little guy-shaped being and that’s the important thing

#renew good omens #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #good omens s2 #good omens s1 #crowly x aziraphale #good omens s2 ending

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winns-stuff · 11 months

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LO RANT:

Can we just talk about how incredibly insensitive and blissfully ignorant some fans are about trigger warnings for these very heavy and touchy subjects? Listen I’ve never been so disappointed in my damn life about this stuff, how are you going to read a comic about all of this heavy stuff that happens to people in real life yet also want people who’ve been affected by said topics to shut up or disengage from the comic completely. Y’all are giving this grown woman too much coddling at this point and it’s distressing, Rachel is a grown woman and it’s not like anyone forced her to put these topics into her story she understands (I hope but I say this loosely) that these discussions can be harder to experience for some people rather than others which is why trigger warnings exist and why you give your millions of fans who all come from very DIFFERING experiences than your own a trigger warning to warn them so their day won’t be demolished.

People have a right to call that shit out and if you don’t need the trigger warning good for you, stop acting like these people are insulting the comic by asking for one. It’s not like people are asking her to make a whole around the world trip in one day they are simply just asking for a damn trigger warning. I’m getting so extremely tired of Lore Olympus fans still not getting or even trying to understand this, these people understand that this comic handles serious things but just because Rachel has been “forgetting” the trigger warnings and they don’t want her allowing her fans to go head first into disturbing content doesn’t mean they want their hand held. Also, for the people saying that they should know when those scenes come up you make no sense anyways because you really can barely tell when scenes like these are coming without a trigger warning. The Demeter thing took me by surprise, so did Hera’s story, so did Demeter’s backstory, so did Hades’ shitty apology, etc. The amount of times that I got blindsided by serious topics such as those being dropped into the comic is way too fucking many to count so please don’t try and hide behind that excuse. There’s millions of fans out there who don’t expect shit like this just because you’ve been studying Lore Olympus and got down the mannerisms of the characters before something disturbing or traumatic is coming up doesn’t mean others do.

I’m sorry if I come off rash or meaner in this post I’m just extremely over this whole thing. I am a person that needs trigger warnings as well and last night I watched a video, thinking it would be funny, that ended up harming me. It was a “health” video and it was basically someone telling the viewers that regular human things happening to you is a sign of a painful death, I remember being so mortified that I felt my blood running cold and my heart pounding in my ears. If you didn’t know I’m very anxious, paranoid, and an overall hypochondriac so I don’t do well with shit like that coming up and randomly making itself known. I know many people probably wouldn’t care but I just wanted to let you guys know why trigger warnings are so useful and important to those that need them. Last night my body entered flight or fight mode just by that video alone and I was absolutely panicked, I was in so much distress and it was all because of one video. It only takes one chapter without a trigger warning to trigger worser things than that and we should all be mindful of that fact.

Again, sorry if all of this is aggressive or mean I didn’t mean anything by it I just wish that fans did better. It’s sad seeing them put down others for genuine concerns and it’s even sadder that Rachel does not do anything about it. There’s only so much toxic positivity you can fill up before there’s no real community left and there’s way too many fans who deserve at least a trigger warning with these things it really doesn’t take long to make and it could genuinely save people from these experiences such as mine.

Moral of the story is if you don’t need trigger warnings don’t bag on people who do, they’re not sensitive you just don’t share the same experiences as them and you don’t know what their background is at all. Be mindful that everyone isn’t you, respectfully.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo #lore olympus critical

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louff4tw · 1 year

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"I bet it’s been a long time since someone genuinely told Bruce they loved him. That’s so sad"

WHY DO YOU RIP OUT MY HEART AND STOMP ON IT LIKE THIS???

#I swear the only one that loved Bruce was Tim

Can you expand on this, if you don't mind?? I love Bruce and Tim stuff, but there's almost nothing in the fandom unfortunately.

I rip others hearts out cause it ripped mine out!

When I first realized this it broke me. Bruce never got the help or comfort he needed growing up after his parents died. Alfred like I said in the original didn’t feel it was his place. And Bruce most likely spent a LOT of time alone. Stewing in his emotions. Never letting himself move forward from their death cause it was so traumatizing. And he’s a genius. He has great memory. He can’t even forget.

What he needed was for Alfred to hug him. Tell him he loved him. And that everything was gonna be okay along with therapy. But he didn’t. Alfred kept his distance. He was there but not really THERE if that makes sense. I can picture Bruce self destructing heavily during his teen years and when he originally runs away to train I bet part of him didn’t even want to go back to that big cold house.

Bruce doesn’t blame Alfred for this but I know it’s a regret of Alfred’s. It’s in a comic somewhere where it’s showing him catching young Bruce/Dick crying and in the Bruce side he’s left along. And with Dick he goes and comforts him and in his thoughts says he won’t make the same mistake twice.

Bruce and Alfred will make sure Dick doesn’t turn out like Bruce. Broken.

And I don’t doubt Dick loved Bruce but he carrys a lot of guilt with that cause he feels like he’s replacing his dad. It’s probably part of the reason he left. Bruce tried to get Dick to stop being Robin cause he was shot. So he left and became Nightwing. And for the longest time refused to even see why Bruce did that. Or even talk to him

Jason tho is completely different. He didn’t have much to begin with. He literally lived a fairy tale rescue of being Robin. He’s probably one of the ones that loved Bruce the most and thought Robin was magic, but when he died everything change. He suffered a severe trauma himself and became angry (people say he was the angry Robin but that was actually Dick) like Dick he refused to see why Bruce didn’t kill the Joker (tho I don’t think anyone told him Bruce tried) that if Bruce kills the joker he knows it won’t end with the Joker. Bruce is mentally unstable and Bruce knows that. And even in the iterations where he somewhat comes back. He’s still off with Bruce. While treating Alfred like he’s the only good thing there and why he comes back,

Damian I can understand why he never said it. It’s probably never been said to him. Same with Jason in a way. But much worse also. He was trained not to feel and it’s because of Dick (cause Batman was missing) that he is as open as he is. Cause Dick wanted to be more emotionally available then Bruce. So he sorta teaches that to Damian. And I’m happy about that cause it needed to happen. Damian tho will always prefer Dick to Bruce for that same reason. Cause Bruce has trouble expressing it due to his upbringing and Dick technically had the best childhood till he was 8 so more stable then the rest. Damian after Bruce returned once said he wished Bruce was still Dead. Cause Dick went back to Bludhaven and he had trouble communicating with Bruce.

Tim is different then the rest. They all were taken in and became Robin. I’m not gonna say he let them cause we all know Bruce actually had no say in that. Tim didn’t even initially want to approach Bruce. He came to Dick and tried to say Bruce was self destructing and Dick who was also grieving denied helping in that matter. So Tim took things into his own hands. He wanted to help Bruce and Save him from himself before he became someone he was not. A villain. Cause he was heading that way.

He basically kicked the front door in and was like “bitch it’s a intervention” and he sorta forced his way in and helped Bruce. He saved him and made him want to live again.

A lot of people say Tim got the worst version of Bruce. How Bruce never cared about Tim. How Bruce was way to hard on Tim. And they need to Remember. Tim came to Bruce. Bruce literally didn’t want him around at first cause he was grieving. That Bruce only pushed Tim away at first cause he was terrified. Tim didn’t want to be adopted so he even made up a fake uncle and hired a actor. Despite the fact Tim actually did want to be taken in. He was just scared. And Bruce was hard on him cause he literally watched one of his kids died. So he wanted to make sure Tim was prepared. I don’t believe Tim would have said he loved him out loud. But. I do believe he is the one that loves Bruce the most (platonically I should clarify for the weirdos out there) and Bruce loves him to. He saved Bruce. TWICE! Once from himself and once from Time.

I accidentally clicked the font thing on mobile oops.

And Bruce won’t pick favourites and he’s happy to have them all in his Life (but there will always be a special bond between him and Bruce) especially cause they are so alike in intelligence

But it sucks that no one (not count the ladies he’s been with ) has told him they loved him in any complicity even tho they do but will show it to Alfred. Who is the reason Bruce is so damaged. And don’t get me wrong I love Alfred but Damn. I can picture the first time Alfred says it to Bruce. He’s badly hurt. They aren’t sure he’s gonna make it and he whispers it to Bruce.

I do know one person who will be the one to say it and mean it. Superman. He has canonically said it to Bruce in the comics! More then Bruce’s own family

And I’m gonna leave you off on some pet peeves of mine in the fandom

When people say Bruce made child soldiers even tho he literally has tried to stop each and every one of them. He wasn’t even the one who made Damian Robin.

When Dick was like “you made me Robin and I hate you for it” and then goes “you tried to stop me from being Robin and I hate you for it” LIKE MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

The “everyone shits on Bruce train” like. That’s not funny. It’s shitty af and people who find it funny have daddy issues

The “I wonder who Batman wants to take over for him when he retires” no one. When he told Diana that he took Dick in so he wouldn’t be like him. He meant it. Batman is a symbol that somethings wrong and broken. He knows his kids are better then him in many ways

People who act like Duke isn’t just as unhinged

That Bruce picks a favourite. He really doesn’t he loves them all equally. And people who act like Cass is the only one he cares about

Bruce/Barbara shippers and Batfam shippers

Those are some of my personal pet peeves

#batman #batfam #robin #bruce wayne #damian wayne #tim drake #jason todd #nightwing #red hood #cassandra wayne #Cain #black bat #duke thomas #the signal

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nightfall-kachiniko · 2 years

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This idea just pop up in my head but can you please do Aot girls + hange with an s/o who has strange love for scary and morbid stuff? Like they'd be the type who thinks Anabelle and Chucky a cute baby

HORROR & HORID — AOT girls with a horror lover s/o

CW: mikasa x gn!reaader, annie x gn!reader, pieck x gn!reader, Hange x gn!reader, hitch x gn!reader

TW: little talk of gore, horror movies, that stuff

𓏲 mikasa

- for mikasa, she really doesn’t mind your horror obsession. Though, sometimes she does get concerned when you start saying stuff like “Jason is so hot!” And that type of stuff lol. It’s just the fact that you obsess over a murderer. You’d say back “What?! You’re one to and i still love you!” 💀

- well she certainly knows what she’s getting you for your birthday and Christmas lol. She’d take mental notes of all the horror games, movies and shows you like. Surprise! Because under your Christmas tree you’re getting an Annabelle doll!

𓏲 annie

- I’m sorry but she’d think it’s weird 😭. It’s just how Annie is. I think she likes horror movies but not to YOUR extent. If you force her to go to a haunted house, she’d end up punching the actors. The scaredest you’ve ever seen Annie in her whole life.

- refuses to buy you a chucky doll because he’s quote on quote “fucking weird.” She’ll never admit it, but that stuff creeps her out, like not the mellow stuff, the stuff that’s like psychotic.

𓏲 pieck

- nope, nope, absolutely not. She will not have a chucky doll, an Annabelle doll, a voodoo doll, nu uh none of that.

- she won’t even watch horror movies with you, and when you trick her into watching a scary movie she’ll have her eyes closed the whole time. She tells you she has nightmares of the dolls coming to life too 😭 #savepieck

𓏲 hange

- would fuck with it 👍. Like she would LOVE to play horror games with you too, (like FNAF in VR, that shits scary 😦)

-Hange would love scaring the shit out of you too 😭 like she’d spent 200$ on a realistic scream costume just to sneak up on you and scare you. Cruel and psychotic 👍 (and hot)

𓏲 hitch

- you’d force her to come to a haunted house and she’d end up cussing the actors out, screaming and probably punching one of them. Would also cuss you out after for being “bat shit crazy!”

- poor hitch 😭 she’d try to brush it off as nothing but really thinks about it for days. #traumatized

𓏲 ymir

- yea no, not a good idea. Because she will take it farther than you ever could, like satanic level stuff. Like would try to summon demons with you IN THE HOUSE 😭.

- this girl is fierce-less, like she’ll do anything. Sometimes you end up getting freaked out at her level of psycho-ness. Also oddly loves the sex scenes during horror films ??

𓏲 historia

- nooooo we all know hisu would never watch anything horror, let alone have a shelves full of dolls in her house, all messed up hair and old fashioned. It gives her the creeps and that’s just the dolls.

- the type to cry during horror movies, and spill the pop corn everywhere “I CAN’T WATCH IT NO!”

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satansapostle6 · 3 months

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The Man Who Sold The World | Luke Castellan

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Katherine. She was the one who started it all for Luke Castellan, the reason he did what he did.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen: Nights That Don’t End

In the past few days, Luke hadn’t slept much. Most of his nights were just spent watching Katherine as she slept, making sure she was sleeping peacefully, which didn’t happen often these days, or simply staring up at the cabin ceiling. Even when he slept, Luke either dreamt of things that tormented him in his sleep, or just simply didn’t remember what he dreamt about.

But that night, he actually had a good dream as he slept throughout the entire night, one that he wished would never end.

“Okay, really good, just try that one more time, but even harder,” Luke instructed as he held his sword still in his hand. “Think you can do it?”

“Yeah,” the nine year-old nodded, breathing hard.

“Alright! Show me what you got!” he encouraged him.

Luke made the first move, swinging his sword just in time for the small boy to slash his own at the blade in retaliation, this time hitting back with an improved intensity.

“Good! You’re doing great!” he exclaimed proudly.

“Luke?” the little boy in his dream asked him once they finished training.

“Yeah?”

“How did you get that scar on your face?” the child asked him, purely curious.

“Well,” Luke sighed, trying to put a more positive spin on the traumatic memory, “I went on a quest. To retrieve a Golden Apple from the Garden of Hesperides. It’s from the dragon; Ladon.”

“Did it hurt?” the ADHD-ridden child asked him.

“It didn’t tickle, kid,” Luke sighed.

“Do people think you’re ugly?” the boy blurted out as Luke tried not to laugh.

“Uh… I don’t know,” he admitted. “But my girlfriend doesn’t mind. That’s enough for me.”

“You have a girlfriend?” the boy asked, getting a nod in return. “What do you actually do with a girlfriend?” he asked, as Luke tried his best to maintain his composure.

“No one ever talked to you about this stuff, huh? Or, any stuff?” he quickly realized.

“I’m nine,” the child pointed out.

“Fair enough. Uh… I don’t know. Depends on the person, but for me… My girlfriend’s just like my best friend,” Luke remarked. “We tell each other everything before we tell anyone else, and we always wanna spend time together. And she’s just also really pretty,” he tried to explain.

“And she likes being your girlfriend, even if you have a giant scar on your face?”

Luke nearly snorted with laughter. “Yeah, I guess you could say that… But hopefully, after tonight, she won’t be my girlfriend anymore.”

“You’re breaking up with her?!” the boy cried.

“No, no,” Luke chuckled, “I’m gonna ask her to marry me.”

*****

“Katherine? Will you marry me?” Luke Castellan asked, on one knee with the most beautiful diamond ring in his hand that he could find.

“Yes,” she gasped, “Yes!”

He quickly jumped up to kiss her, ring box still in his hand as he forgot about it for a moment.

*****

The wedding was held in Rome, during the day on the shore of a beach that looked just like paradise. It was a beautiful wedding, with a small guest list of only the most important people in their lives.

The incredibly romantic wedding ceremony and reception was followed by a two-week long honeymoon in Italy, resulting in a new development that came with an ultrasound photo on the refrigerator in their new home.

“Oh, I can’t believe my little boy’s gonna be a father!” May Castellan gushed as she and Katherine sat at the table while Luke prepared dinner. “I just wish we could’ve met sooner! I would’ve wanted to get together before you became my daughter-in-law!”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Katherine sighed, “Luke and I were just always so busy…”

“Oh, it’s okay, sweetheart, I get it,” the woman promised her. “You don’t have to feel bad.”

“So, May, do you have a guess as to whether it’s gonna be a girl or a boy?” Katherine asked.

“I don’t know, what do you think, honey?” Luke’s mother asked curiously.

“I think it’s gonna be a boy,” she explained, “Luke thinks it’s gonna be a girl.”

“I see, are you hoping for anything in particular?”

“I really don’t care, I’m just happy we’re having a baby,” Katherine responded truthfully, smiling at Luke as he cooked. “But, later down the line, we’re hoping to have both…”

“Oh, that would be wonderful! You know, I’ll have to look at you when you’re further along. You can tell by the shape of the bump, whether it’s gonna be a girl or a boy,” May Castellan remarked.

“Oh, wow,” Katherine nodded.

“So, Luke, you think it’s gonna be a girl?” his mother asked him.

“Yeah, that’s my guess,” he nodded, setting plates of food down on the table as he sat beside his new wife, squeezing her hand. “Obviously, I’d be happy with anything, but I really want to have at least one girl…”

“He’d make such a cute girl dad,” Katherine beamed.

“Oh, yes he would!” May agreed. “My Luke… so sweet and gentle. You know when he was little, and I used to try and kill the spiders in the kitchen, he used to pick them up on a newspaper, and stick them outside?”

“Aw, I believe it!” Katherine sighed, affectionately kissing Luke’s cheek as she nuzzled her head into him, listening to the stories.

“You two look so happy,” the older woman gushed, seeming emotional. “Look at you, Luke, so handsome, just like your dad.”

“He is handsome,” Katherine agreed, looking up at him like he was the coolest person in the world.

With Katherine, Luke felt like Brad Pitt.

“I’m so proud of my son. Camp counselor, beautiful wife, beautiful baby on the way.”

Luke smiled softly as he looked down at his wife, and then over at his mother, who was happy and healthy, fully content with everything. He took in their smiling faces, and the beautiful sounds of their gentle laughter, treasuring it forever.

“This isn’t how it happened,” a loud, nightmarish voice violently cut through his good dream.

“What?” Luke looked up.

His blue eyes widened as everything slowly disappeared him, his lovely home, his healthy mother, and his beloved wife. Everything in that idealistic fantasy was stripped away from him until he was left alone in an empty room of darkness.

“This isn’t how it happened, Luke Castellan,” Kronos’s voice shrieked in a pitch that was both far too low and far too high.

Luke began to panic as the invisible room he was in started to make him feel claustrophobic, suffocating and not existing simultaneously.

“You didn’t leave the camp. You didn’t marry the girl. You didn’t save your mother,” the Titan’s voice reminded him. “You didn’t even keep the baby alive.”

“No!”

Luke started to twitch, remembering his unborn child as he flailed about out of instinct.

“Remember who your allegiance is to,” the voice reminded him, returning him to a new, all too familiar memory.

It was one of the earlier dreams Luke had had about Kronos; it was the dream in which he decided he’d join the father of the gods in destroying the world they currently lived in. In the dream, Luke had been showed every single ounce of suffering caused and enabled by his father, Hermes, along with all of the other gods, which basically amounted to just about everything he’d ever witnessed.

In the dream, he’d walked into an empty, almost ceremonial sort room, which was dark and empty, except for Kronos’s golden sarcophagus. Luke had touched a hand to the ancient artifact, in complete awe of the raw power emanating from it as he dropped to his knees subserviently.

“I pledge my eternal allegiance to you, Lord Kronos,” Luke vowed as he was told to. “My mind, body, and soul belong to you. I am your servant.”

“Well done, my boy,” the voice said in a saccharine tone, trying to entice him, “You’ve done well.”

All of a sudden, he looked down at his clenched fist as a beautiful Celestial bronze weapon began to appear in his hand. It was a sword, a glorious weapon he could only describe as befitting a warrior. One side of the sword, it seemed, was made from Celestial bronze, only capable of killing monsters or other mythical beings, while the other edge was steel, capable of unspeakable destruction.

This was the sword Luke had named ‘Backbiter’, capable of killing just about any creature in existence. It was one thing for a demigod to brandish any weapon made up of Celestial bronze, as killing monsters was in the job description, but in the demigod world, even just giving oneself the opportunity to kill mortals was an absolute taboo.

The sword, Luke knew, was a true instrument of death. He had received a flawless instrument of death from Kronos in exchange for becoming one.

“Why do you hope to be happy?” Kronos’s voice echoed through his empty head. “Why do you believe that this is possible?”

Luke was completely broken by the question.

“Your loyalty isn’t to yourself. You don’t serve your own happiness, or hers; you serve me,” the Titan said. “Just as I can reward you with happiness for doing as I say, I can take it back. Remember that.”

His eyes opened with a start, and he all but jumped up in bed. Katherine was woken by the sudden movement, looking over at her boyfriend as she slowly sat up, trying to shake off her own exhaustion.

“Another dream, baby?” she asked worriedly.

Luke nodded slowly, not realizing that he had already been crying in his sleep. Overwhelmed by the nightmares, he buried his face in his hands, failing to collect himself.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, rubbing his back as he held his knees up to his chest for comfort. “I’m right here, okay? Just let it out. You’re safe.”

Luke hadn’t felt safe at all in the past several days. Losing the unborn baby he’d only gotten the chance to grow to love in the past three days was the final straw for him, the very last chance he had to have hope for good in the world, or his world, at least. Ever since losing the baby, if it could even really be called that, Luke had clung desperately to Katherine even more so than before.

She was the last good thing he had, but even she had almost been taken from him by Kronos, on multiple occasions. Luke draped himself over her body, laying his head down on her chest as she held him. Her movements were slight but deliberate, as she slowly went from allowing him to sink down onto her lap to gently stroking his hair as he let out small, painful cries.

“You know how much I love you, right?” she asked him sadly.

Unable to stop his weeping or steady his breathing, Luke just nodded, hanging onto her every word as he prioritized her smooth voice over the relentless screaming in his head.

Later that day, once the both of them were feeling up to actually leaving the cabin, they decided to walk the strawberry fields, in a more quiet outing.

“I don’t know if this makes sense, but… I miss the baby,” Katherine said softly. “I know I never gave birth, but… I still had it with me, you know?”

“That makes absolute sense,” Luke promised her, a poignant look in his eyes as he felt exactly what she had meant. “I miss him or her too… I know there’s no point in saying ‘him or her’, but it just makes me feel more connected to it, actually imagining a ‘him’ or a ‘her’.”

“I wanna know what I would’ve had,” she thought after a pause. “Do you?”

“I, uh…” the question triggered a deep longing in Luke. “I wanna think so. But I don’t know if I could handle it,” he confessed guiltily.

Katherine nodded, considering his point of view.

“I wanna know… But, the thought of missing a little girl, or a little boy, as opposed to a little fetus with no identity… It makes it too real,” he forced out, a pained grimace on his face.

“Yeah,” she nodded, feeling the same pain.

“But, don’t we owe it? To what would’ve been our kid?” he asked her.

“Luke,” Katherine stopped, trying to speak as delicately as she could. “I feel the same guilt you do. I do. But, life is also for the living. I don’t want you to feel like you have to grieve a certain way, just because it would’ve been our baby.”

This caused a long, thoughtful pause as she started to wonder whether she’d said the right thing.

“Maybe you’re right. But, I don’t know… I was just really looking to having a kid, and getting to know it,” he stressed. “And I think I still wanna get to know it. Any way I can.”

“I just can’t believe this. I just can’t,” Katherine breathed, “I mean. So many things in my life, in our lives, have gone wrong. We’ve both been through so much fucking shit, it doesn’t even sound real. But, when we found out about this baby, I just…

“I don’t know. Maybe I was just dreaming, but I thought we might actually get the chance to do something right for once. I thought we’d actually get the chance to contribute something genuinely pure, and meaningful, to the world,” she expressed.

“I so wanted to have a baby with you,” Luke sighed, the look in his eyes a gut-wrenching mixture of love and trauma.

“I wanted to have a baby with you too,” Katherine agreed, tears in her eyes. “I didn’t even know that that’s what I wanted, but it happened, and then I wanted it! And then it all got taken away, so fast, and I don’t know what to do!”

He said nothing as he looked at her, the beauty of her features upstaged by sadness.

“I killed our baby, because I don’t have a soul!” she exclaimed, face contorted with disgust at herself. “I killed our baby, but I can’t even fully access however the fuck I feel about it, because I don’t have a soul!”

“Katherine, you didn’t kill the baby,” Luke promised her, taking her face into his hands, “Listen to me. It wasn’t your fault, you did not kill that baby. You loved the baby. So much. I saw it in your eyes every day,” he reminded her.

“I don’t see anything in my eyes!” Katherine sobbed, her voice almost pouty like a child’s. “I look in the mirror, and I don’t recognize the person I see! I look at the memories in my head that are supposedly mine, and they don’t feel like mine! I feel like a—like a decoy someone made! Like people are just meant to look at me and then wonder where the real one is, while the person who this life actually belongs to runs away!” she exclaimed.

Luke’s brows furrowed in sadness for her.

“I really wish you could see what I see every day,” he exhaled, “I wish you could see the way you love me, and the way you loved the baby.”

Katherine looked at Luke for a moment, noticing the way he seemed a thousand times more upset when she expressed her own feelings of sadness or pain, as if his hadn’t actually mattered. She noticed the focus with which he looked at her, as if he were only a camera recording everything she did as some amazing feat, and the sheer love that he had for her when he looked at her.

He loved her so much, more than anything, and without a soul, Katherine was afraid that she couldn’t dream up enough ways to show him that he was everything to her. After all, she was more than willing to have a child with him, despite the current state of the universe, or her own uncertainties toward the idea.

She knew that she’d opened herself up to the opportunity for something truly great, only to have it ripped away. Life, it seemed, was cruel even in comparison to death.

“God, why do we do this to ourselves?” Luke scoffed. “Why do we risk everything serving a Titan who doesn’t care about us anymore than he cares about his own children? Why are we so convinced that his new world order is gonna be so much better than what we have now?” he demanded.

Katherine paused for a moment, recognizing his fragility in that moment.

“I don’t understand why we do this to ourselves,” Luke admitted emptily, momentarily staring at nothing. “I don’t know why we put people above us who treat us like we’re disposable.”

“Because, honey, that’s just how things work,” she concluded. “You and me, we’re just people. We’re demigods, but we’re just people. We’re just not capable of implementing change ourselves; so, we hitch a ride with whoever’s gonna make the changes we want. And rarely will that be someone who doesn’t treat everyone like shit,” she pointed out.

“How is Kronos any better than any of the gods, then?” he demanded out of frustration.

“It’s not about being better,” she responded. “It’s about results. The gods won’t lift a finger for their kids, because Zeus says so. And the only one capable of bringing Zeus down is Kronos.”

Luke didn’t say anything for a moment, knowing she was right. About everything. Like she always was.

*****

“I know this has all been beyond hard on you. And I know I’ve been tired, and hurting, and spacey… But just know, I wanna make it all up to you,” Luke said softly, looking down at Katherine as they stood in one of the showers together.

It was the middle of the day, and no one was around.

“You don’t have anything to make up to me,” she said softly, an apologetic look on her face.

“Come here.”

Katherine turned as Luke gently ran his fingers through her long hair, lathering in the lightly fragrant soap for her. When Luke was tired and didn’t know how to communicate, he would often offer to wash or brush her hair, a very primitive form of affection.

Katherine never refused, always appreciating the way his hands slowly worked through her hair, as he was terrified of snagging it.

“You have the most beautiful hair,” Luke murmured, lightly planting a kiss on the base of her neck. “You’re so beautiful.”

She closed her eyes as she felt his hands still working, washing the last of the soap out of her hair as they traveled down to her shoulders, massaging them with care. She felt beyond safe with him, to the point of feeling like she was on some sort of floating cloud.

Katherine sighed internally as she felt his strong, taut chest pressing against her back. Luke, she had always thought, was built like a god. And she would’ve much rather worshipped him than Zeus, or Hermes, or whoever.

“You know,” Luke murmured as she turned back around to face him. “When I first sensed the baby, like how Chiron said Hermes is actually associated with fertility and stuff like that… I felf so happy,” he expressed.

She nodded silently, understanding the feeling.

“Before I even knew what I was sensing,” he added, sighing wistfully. “I miss that feeling.”

“Me too,” she sighed, as Luke held his hand to her cheek, thumb lightly tracing back and forth as he tried to stop her budding frown from spreading.

Chapter Eighteen

#luke castellan #pjo luke #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #pjo #pjo series #pjo fandom #pjo hoo toa #rick riordan #riordanverse #riordan universe #jake abel #adam milligan

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jasontoddiefor · 1 year

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Saw your recent “drama” with the book lotf and some fanfic you posted about reading, and all I have to say is: I’m so done with chronically online people. Some fics out there are gross, especially the ones that outwardly show cp, but jeez not EVERYTHING is sexualizing minors

I fairly dislike omegaverse, but I read that one for the sake of seeing what the fuss was about, and I will say that it is extremely tame, it was definitely much more than just alpha/omega porn fic (especially since there wasn’t porn)

I’ve never read lotf so that could mean I’m biased. My advice is to ignore them. I don’t wanna go point by point into why I don’t believe it was sexualizing kids, but I think you get my point lmao. Hopefully they won’t start stalking your blog now over this. Speaking of which, if any of the lotf fandom users see this, move along, because we obviously don’t agree with your statements.

also you mentioned you had a main blog, could I check it out? thanks!

lol I've been through so much fandom drama, two people (who, going by tone, I'm fairly sure have never attended university-level media classes, most likely due to their age) commenting on a fic rec annoys me for two hours and then I'm done with it. I hope more that this doesn't have any bad repercussions for the author? Because honestly, like I said, I enjoyed that fic a lot.

and tbh - general thing here - I don't like calling any fanfiction "gross" or "disgusting" or anything like it, even if I personally dislike the matter it deals with, simply because the fic means something to, at minimum, one person, and I don't want to disregard that. What's that cinema wins quote about how every movie is someone's favorite for a reason? That. Also if you start with that, you end up with "please public share your top 10 traumatic life experiences so I can evaluate whether you deserve to post this tagged fic that personally offends me".

And like, I've written several fics that I'm fairly sure a lot of people will call me gross for, I know for certain that a person I was having a pretty great conversation with blocked me right in the middle of said conversation when they saw some of my other stuff on AO3. And like. you know what? Good for them! If engaging with me after seeing that is something they're uncomfortable with, they ought to block me. Curate your online experience and all that.

And, to open that can of worms, I am pretty sure most people have no idea what actual sexualization of minors is or they wouldn't use those words so liberally when discussing a fictional text. Shout out to my professor who sat my class down and made us research the government statistics on CSA. Very interesting seminar, made you feel absolutely terrible and terrified of becoming a teacher and being constantly on a lookout for students, who might be abused at home.

Anyway, I'm going off topic. I don't really have anything more to say on this.

And this actually is my main blog! I was just referring to when I was into a more "problematique" ship (shout out to obikin I still love you <3) and blogged about it constantly ("on main") here. My writing side blog is @loosingmoreletters, but that's mostly general writing stuff and mdzs fanfic rn.

cheerio that's my take on it.

#ask #anon #fandom

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bstroobery · 7 months

Text

Made some system memes extremely specific to our system.

Explanation of the last one under the cut for anyone curious I guess??

- Johnny Ghost

Warnings for the explanation/rant(???): mentions of bullying, allusions to suicide, explanation of trauma (possibly seen as trauma dumping I guess??)

We have a bad habit of not defending ourselves when things happen, mostly because last time we did defend ourselves, we ended up being the “villains” and no one believed a word of what we said.

Anyway, we were bullied in middle school because a toxic ex friend decided to spread misinformation about stuff we did (making roleplays out to be real life, straight up lying and saying we did things we didn’t do, etc).

Fast forward 6 years. We befriend someone, and they remind us a lot of that toxic ex friend. Many alters are made extremely uncomfortable by them and refused to come near the front because of that. Blue themselves eventually became uncomfortable around this person too, though never admitted it because they’re a friend.

I will admit: we did do some bad things while friends with this person. But Y’know what we did? We apologized and fixed our behavior the second it was brought to our attention (we lack socialization skills and still need help figuring out what’s right and wrong in a conversation). One of which was purposefully triggering that person because it had been done to us multiple times. Even though we said we didn’t like it, the people who did it never apologized and called us sensitive.

However, the behavior was called out. We apologized. We tried to make it right. This happened months ago.

Fast forward another month and we break the friendship off because it’s not healthy. We try and be the adults. Ex-Friend makes another close friend of ours block us, even though they didn’t want to. We got extremely triggered by this. And I mean extremely.

Sierra, one of our protectors/persecutors (we love her anyway. She’s still learning. Give her time. She’s an introject of the first toxic friend from middle school), was the only one who was able to process stuff. Keep in mind, she was 13. She handled the entire situation poorly, calling those two out in a discord server we were active in before leaving. One of the mods reached out to us and Sierra explained everything the best she could, as she had also been dormant since 2018 and had been harshly triggered to the front by the situation. Dream managed to pull herself together and explain that she kept a mental list of the issues that were present in the relationship.

Sadly, we didn’t have any of the physical evidence because we were trying to remain mature about the situation and wanted to move more towards forgiveness than pettiness. Ex-friend had no intent of forgiving apparently, as when the mods had talked to them, they spoke about the things we had done as if they had recently happened and weren’t from a month ago or things we had apologized for and tried to do better on.

One of those things was something Simon (Book) had said to them in a moment of panic, not knowing what to do in the situation present at the time (an alter of ex-friend’s threatening to hurt the body of ex-friend). He said something he deeply regrets, and we won’t say what that is because he has indeed moved on from that. Even when he said it, he didn’t mean anything by it. It was a mental script of sorts in response to a traumatic situation for us that also caused us to relive old trauma as toxic ex-friend had been someone who would threaten to hurt themself if it meant getting their way. (Hell, they even blamed us for their attempted self-delete because we didn’t answer the phone while at a family Christmas party).

We now are dealing with the aftermath of having multiple people block us because of this. We received a ban from the discord server for purposefully triggering someone, and it appears that no one is really interested in our side of the story, mostly because Sierra’s immediate response when we received the ban was delete all social media so that all of these triggers and things could go away and not hurt the system anymore. She was a 13 year old thrown into a very stressful situation. We have recently talked to her, and she is growing up rather quickly in the system as well. She has since learned from her mistakes.

Simon and Sierra are truly sorry for what they did and how it had ended up hurting the system. However, we have expressed our care for them and how we forgive them for what happened, as they are attempting to better themselves based off of their mistakes.

And that’s what upsets me the most. We’re healing, yes, but it still hurts to have people we once thought of as friends block us when we never even explained our side of the story because we were acting in a fight or flight manner due to the extremely triggering and traumatic situation we were thrown in.

In both instances, both parties are at fault. Not one or the other. We reacted poorly to these situations due to them being extremely traumatic for us. It’s why we’re perfectionists, because every time we make a mistake this is what happens. We never explain our side of the story because it always ends with us never being believed.

But we’re moving on, and we’re healing. Slowly but surely. It just sucks that we can barley interact with the Taleblr tag now because a lot of people who we followed blocked us.

It just takes some time, I guess. :)

We just kinda needed to get that out there. Won’t drop names because we aren’t trying to call people out or cancel them. Just trying to explain the meaning behind the last two memes I made.

#ghost🩶👻#system posting #taleblr #johnny ghost fictive #mental health #memes #system memes

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neims-skeleton-obsession · 9 months

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16, 18 and 31 on Skulduggery for the ask game?

SKUG FUCK YEAH oh god these are gonna make me experience Thoughts And Feelings arent they /pos 16) deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves: oh this is. this is so evil i love you thank you im probably gonna end up spoiling book 15 be warned the first Plausible thing i thought of was that he did love china, for a little while. i hate the whole grandkids thing it doesnt make sense even chronologically but eh but no i do think he loved china for a bit, and not just because of the w. the whole her being beautiful as fuck- but because he really, truly cared about her. he probably would have felt so guilty about it if hed ever given it any thought- especially after he found out about some of her Worse Shit i think probably after wifey? like a few decades or so after wifey/the war. maybe. hm second thought: he thinks he is entirely unforgiveable. he says that he'll reclaim his family crest some day- but i do think he's lying. mostly to himself, but to val also. but realistically he has no plans to forgive himself, or accept others' forgiveness of him. he would deny that. i think. probably because admitting that to himself would make it that much harder to keep doing things- ie qquote un-quote good things. because if it wouldnt make a difference, it wouldnt change what hed done, what would be the point? 18) what they’d go to see a therapist about: i think he would have to be forced to go at gunpoint but id like to believe hed choose to go ghddgh but i think initially he'd go for. yknow how a fuck ton of characters point out him being an "angry man"??? thaaaaaat but it'd end up including his gEneral self loathing and all that traumatic sh- genuinely take a shot for every time he's been tortured and that doesnt include everything that's happened. ok. there's a lot. i don't know how if he'd actually be helped by going to therapy though. the systems arent that great for one and i think a lot of the gENeRAl sElf HatREd is. quite ingrained at this point rgyfhdgf.

31) jf they had a tumblr what would it look like: mmmm ok two thoughts: classic cars or getting into debates over true crime/crime. based fiction i dont remember what the genre is called i think all he'd figure out how to change is his pfp (probably just. set to a picture of his bentley or something oR. he'd deliberately leave it as default. or val would change it to something ridiculous and he'd give up trying to reset it), and his blog title n such. which i imagine would just be his name or, again, val setting it as something dumb and him not being able/bothered to change it erhgbegd. he'd either post an ungodly amount or very little at all (n just mostly reblogging stuff), probably the first, but he would use entirely correct grammar n punctuation, and probably correct other people on theirs in the tags. dickhead.

thank you for the ask!!! and sorry for the ramble(s)!!!!

#skulduggery pleasant #asks and answers #i just have so many thoughts about him ok #these are mostly Awful /j so ufhfg sOrry about that #bbut enjoy hopefully #an d thank you for the ask!!#i nearly typed “thank you for the ass”#good lord #neim your terrible sleep is showing /j

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monstersinthecosmos · 8 months

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I am sooo happy I sent that ask!! Your reply was everything I could have wished for and more. I didn’t know anything about the VC universe (I did see the movie adaptation as a kid, but all I could remember were the ~vibes), and now I might actually want to check out the books. I mean I can’t believe how much of it is canon LOL, traumatized kinky asexual vampires wtf? sign me up??? Which book(s) of the series would you recommend to me? :o

In the meantime, I will DEFINITELY be giving your VC fics a try, thank you so much for the pointers!!! I’m already weak just reading your reply, esp. that parallel of post-disaster Armand and Marius being kind of like an AU where Shiro *does* give up on Keith - that actually broke me. A lot of what I love about your fics is how you characterize Keith so realistically and in a way that’s meaningfully informed by his upbringing/subsequent abandonment issues and that’s a thrill to read because, well, it’s just good writing - but also because it makes so much sense, not just abstractly but in a very real and personal way. And while the ~relatability~ of it all makes for a super intense reading experience, it can also be weirdly and sometimes incredibly cathartic imo - which is one of the reasons why I think I keep revisiting your fics (sorry if tmi LOL 😭). But!! In the case of Sheith it more or less all works out in the end because, like you said, it’s such a wholesome ship and they love and prioritize each other so much that (as a reader) they’re kinda like a safe space, delectably complete with all the angst and hurt and fuckedupness of their circumstances/selves (you know, for flavor). However, thinking about a timeline where it does NOT all more or less work out, well that’s kinda super heartwrenching! But yummy? And I kinda can’t wait to get into it but I’m also genuinely scared for my heart LMAO. Anyway I’m sorry for rambling!!! With your permission I will definitely come back and scream about Sheith and vampires because I sorta already am lol.

Re: the teaser xmgdknfnrmsmgdk I can’t even gather enough brain cells to form coherent sentences, I’m just squealing and awaiting my resurrection I guess. Thank you sooo so so much! I got so excited I haven’t even been able to finish reading it 🫣😳😵😵😵

!!!!! Thank you again for such a thoughtful and delicious response! <3

Dgahskjdl g GOSH THANK YOU AGAIN

So this post got really long I’m so sorry asdghkads TLDR: I recommend all of them but I also don’t LMAO and you can skip around and won’t be confused but it will spoil stuff. This is a LOADED QUESTION.

It’s wild like I was thinking about the fic i could stop dreaming and also just in general AGAIN IF WE CAN TALK ABOUT COMMON SHEITH TROPES/FANON like I’ve read many S8 fix-its where Keith is drifting around and he’s just like so cold and broken and empty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that’s how Armand feels to me! Even a fic like heart nailed open where Keith is just so fucking empty! Or SOURCE DECAY??????? Like I think there’s tons of Sheith AUs or S8 fics where Keith is like Depressed Guy Keith and !!!!!! God it fucks me up lol. Armand is kinda like if Depressed Guy Keith was also like a 500 year old fucking weirdo.

And like BECAUSE they’re vampires and they’re immortal they’re sort of always coming in and out of each other’s lives so like there’s always a hypothetical future where they can work it out. Like i could stop dreaming is about them working it out, right? And what it would take to heal that injury. And there’s a lot of stuff in canon where these characters commit absolute fucking atrocities to each other and still manage to work it out and I think it’s again just an exercise in empathy and asking if we can still deserve love when we’ve fucked up. The characters have CENTURIES to get over stuff (and some of them STILL DON’T LOL) but sometimes they do. Famously & without spoiling too much of IWTV, Armand does something pretty fucking atrocious to Louis and they still have a long relationship and still love each other very much!!!

But ON THE QUESTION OF WHICH BOOKS, jfc hold my beer

I think in Sheith you see people like almost universally dismiss S8; the only fics I ever see of it really are like just gratuitous whump or fix-its LOL which is valid. And VC has FIFTEEN FUCKING BOOKS and you could honestly ask ANY fan in VC which books “count” and which books are skippable and I think everyone has a different answer.

I also think you can read them out of order and there’s always a little bit of exposition to catch you up so you won’t be lost; the only downside is that you’ll get spoiled on the previous book. For example, if you jumped in and read Armand’s book first, it would make sense, but it would spoil what happened at the end of the book before it.

Also to get the movies & show out of the way because it’s faster than committing to fifteen books:

The 1994 movie is a pretty solid adaptation; you can tell they condensed some details for time or whatever but it’s pretty faithful. There’s also the show that came out last year which is …………….. not so faithful lol. The show also heavily focuses on Lestat & Louis which is the juggernaut ship of the fandom but they’re also like the missionary position of the fandom so who the fuck cares lol. (Loustat fans lurking in this extremely niche post I am so sorry, I'm kidding ilu LMAO it's just not my thing!) And tbh the show wrote Armand & Daniel’s characters SO POORLY it like absolutely killed any motivation I had to continue watching so as an Armand stan I can’t really recommend it but it’s kinda like silly and fun if you don’t take it too seriously. And tbh if this entire fact finding mission is to understand VC more, the show literally changes EVERYTHING; it changes the time period, it changes the lore, it changes the story, it changes the character ages, etc. Basically it just kept the names lol. It's a completely different canon so I think even show fics & book fics aren't compatible either.

There’s also a movie of Queen of the Damned from 2002 which is like SO BAD LMAO but also silly fun. It’s a really bad adaptation but I’d put it in between the movie and the show. Marius is in it and the characterization is really strange LMAO. Armand is an extra.

The thing about VC is that it’s very sort of like non-linear and nontraditional storytelling. Most of the books are narrated by Lestat but several of them are narrated by random other people, and a lot of times the same story is retold through other people’s POVs. Like you get the story about Marius & Armand in three different books and each version is a little different because everyone has a different perspective. And regarding reading out of order and having spoilers, I do think it often creates like a suspense vs surprise element because we circle back and revisit the same stories so many times; you might get a spoiler and read a book knowing that a certain thing is going to happen and there’s still the tension of waiting for it to happen haha. Like when I mentioned the cult raids Marius’s house—you learn about that in Book 2 so you read Armand’s book later going into detail about his life and you’re just SWEATING because you know it’s coming. AND THEN YOU READ ABOUT IT IN MARIUS'S BOOK AND YOU'RE JUST DEVASTATED ONCE MORE.

I will say that for me I always recommend just fucking read them lol. Just read all of them. LOL!! But they’re weird and like, you’re gonna hate some of them, but I don’t think you can take someone’s word for it on Tumblr, it must be experienced. But I do understand that it’s a lot of material to get through and so I can give a fair cheat guide I think.

Most fans agree that the first three books (“The Trilogy”!) are solid and worth reading. Those are Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat, and The Queen of the Damned. IWTV is like this gloomy gothic tome about Louis’s life that started this whole thing and was written as a conversation about grief because Anne Rice’s daughter had died. It absolutely reads like a book someone writes about their daughter dying and it’s REALLY beautiful but it’s also a bit dense at times. If you’re put off by the vibe IT GETS EASIER when Lestat shows up because he literally bursts into the series like Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way ready to like tell you how blonde he is and how he’s gonna fuck everyone’s lives up. The books are still very heavy on existential questions and angst and grief but the text gets a bit lighter and super absurd LOL.

The first three also establish the universe and lore, though, so I think it would give you a pretty solid foundation to understand that type of stuff.

After the trilogy the books just go off the rails like there’s a few about Lestat having stupid adventures and doing dumb shit, there’s a few that cross over with Anne Rice’s witch series (so add three more book so if you truly wanted to read all of them!), then Anne Rice went back to the church and stopped writing vampires so there’s a huge gap, and then she quit the church again and returned LMAO. There’s a final trilogy she wrote before she died that are like, not the heaviest reading and they’re just kinda like silly good times with lots of Easter eggs and fan service. I feel good about the final trilogy being how it ended, just really silly times about them trying to use iPhones and shit, completely wild.

As far as ARMAND CONTENT THOUGH.

Armand does feature heavily in the trilogy so that’s also a good Armand foundation. And it’s REALLY FUN because he shows up in IWTV as sort of a chill mentor to Louis, but then in TVL you get the story about how Lestat met him when he was still in the cult and he was a feral little monster!!! And I love the duality of how Lestat and Louis describe him!!! It’s framed as unreliable narration a lot of the time because like Lestat’s resentment & Louis’s respect for Armand absolutely color the way they describe him, but idk like 100 years go by in between the two meetings so you also see a lot of character growth and see how Armand is doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God. My heart.

Anne Rice also very often uses like texts inside texts so like, IWTV literally is an interview with a vampire where the bulk of the book is in quotes as dialogue LOL and then in other books you often meet a character who will talk for like 40 pages at a time to tell a story. So in TVL when Lestat meets Armand, Armand takes over for a chapter and tells the story of his life, and then later he meets Marius and Marius ALSO tells the story of his life.

QOTD is a modern story (modern in the 1980s when it was written haha) about how the whole vampire world has to deal with Lestat’s bullshit and they all come together for a common cause. This book features the little novelette about Armand & Daniel as one of the chapters!! It’s so good!! (The chapter is called The Devil's Minion and basically if you needed to understand Armand & Daniel you could just read that one chapter and that's basically it bc then it goes to shit!!! Not to spoil anything but also don't get your hopes up about like heaps and heaps of ship content because there isn't any lmfao fml)

It also features Marius and Armand reuniting with each other after 500 years!!!!!!!! HEARTBREAKING! It’s really good and very preposterous but the writing is so lush and takes itself so seriously you kinda forget that it’s preposterous.

Armand has a POV book later in the series, it’s called The Vampire Armand, it details his life as a human and some of his early years as a vampire with Marius. IT’S SORT OF LIKE A LONG EXTENDED VERSION OF HIS CHAPTER IN TVL.

I do want to say that regarding the BDSM and whatnot that I mentioned; this book is quite controversial because there’s not good BDSM etiquette LOL and like part of the genius of this book is that it can be read as abuse, even when Armand isn’t setting out to tell you the story of how he was abused. I have a lot of thoughts about this because Anne Rice was also an erotica writer and her erotica books were all noncon BDSM; I WROTE ABOUT IT HERE I DON’T WANT TO GET INTO IT NOW but I think depending how people go into this book they either see the kink & sex stuff as explicit abuse OR you can read it as like, fantasy from a porn writer. As a Sheith fan I’m going to assume you’re not that sensitive lol. (But also por que no los dos, that's the flavor baby!)

Personally I think you could read this book as a standalone and like, it’ll be a little whacky without context, but I think I’ve given you a lot of context. It’s basically about his sad sad life, the religious trauma, and all the freaky sex he had. (Also just so you’re not disappointed, the sex isn’t graphic haha but he’ll be like “And then I went to the brothel and they licked honey off my nipples and I came home and Marius sucked my dick in the bathtub” but not like crazy sex scenes.)

Marius also has a POV book called Blood & Gold and it’s my favorite in the series!! IT’S MARIUS’S LONG EXTENDED VERSION OF HIS TVL CHAPTER. I think it’s the one that handles IMMORTALITY the best; the other books often focus on a short period of time or a specific incident and don’t often span someone’s ENTIRE life. IWTV spans Louis’s entire life but he’s only like 200 years old. Marius is 2,000!!!! He’s from the Roman Empire!! So like it’s really exciting to me to read about his whole life and all the eras he lived through!!!!!!!!!!!!

In his book you also get a few chapters about his time with Armand and it breaks my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There’s also a third secret option which is the book Pandora which isn’t part of the main series; VC is like actually 13 books and 2 side books? LOL So Pandora is one of the side books. But she was the first vampire that Marius made and they were lovers for like 200 years. This book to me feels like Anne Rice had a lot of leftover historical research and wanted to park it somewhere so a lot of the text is her talking about history stuff but there’s really great Marius content here and Marius/Pandora is one of my fav ships.

A lot of the fandom are more into the original trilogy and the Lestat/Louis content but I’m all about Marius so I’m into the DARK TRIAD of The Vampire Armand/Blood & Gold/Pandora. This to me is the more interesting section of the series but it’s an unpopular opinion so don’t take my word for it.

Other than that I’d also say Memnoch the Devil is my absolute least favorite VC, I think it’s so weird and boring lol but there’s some absolutely incredible Armand stuff in it and the stuff Armand does in this will be spoiled immediately if you check out Pandora or TVA. All in all it’s like idk 10 fucking pages of Armand LOL so if you got an ebook you could probably word search him. BUT YKNOW WHAT? Again don’t take someone’s word for it from Tumblr because like I find this book very weird and boring because it’s the most religious and I was raised atheist; there are people who were raised religious and say this one is their favorite. So what the fuck do I know!

Marius & Armand & Daniel are all in the final trilogy as well if you make it that far. Daniel is sort of always shuffled to the side because Anne Rice didn't care about him so like every time Daniel shows up I like feast on the breadcrumbs LOL but I'm glad to get some context about how he's doing and what's going on with his life.

ANYWYA I’M NOT SURE IF THIS ANSWERS THE QUESTION OR MAKES IT MORE CONFUSING LOL but ! ?!

They’re very weird books, they’re also kinda outdated and racist, but very queer, beautiful prose, incredible characters. They were my first hyperfixation that I can never seem to shake even when I’ve done all the work to dismantle all the ways they’re problematic and imperfect, it’s just yknow sometimes something gets its claws in you LOL. And I go out and explore other fandoms and still always come back to Marius and Armand and Daniel lol. I say that to say I wouldn’t be offended if you didn’t like them LOL but don’t judge me if you give it a shot and you’re like “what the fuck is this”

I just think Armand is like the most incredible character of all time okay!

SORRY FOR THIS VERY LONG REPLY LOL love you, patience yields focus!

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peachy-lemon83 · 29 days

Text

Spoilers for

Criminal Minds S14 Finale and just like all of S15 story wise

“I needed to say something to catch his attention… and to catch your attention”

JJ… man was focused the whole time, never once was he not taking in your reaction and how the unsub was reacting to everything. Trust me man was paying atttention. Like he wasn’t just staring it down like in S14 E1 “300” no he was observing everyone and he was planning, not coming up with connections, lost in his own big brain.

(Also not them starting the season with JJ talking to Emily about how Reid asked her on a date and she misinterpreted as a hangout. Her and Emily both laughing bc wow that’s something and really started the trio of JJ, Garcia, and Reid…

And then proceeding to end with JJ confessing that she loves him…. Like what and this messes with their duo so much like whyyyy would you throw out that friendship!!!)

Also I’m not appreciating 1) Dave Rossi going pop off solo in this 2) the fact that Reid was aware to come in and talk to Rossi about their difference of opinions and come to same conclusion while Emily completely shuts Rossi down… especially when he was trying to communicate (when he very well was not doing earlier in the episode…)

Also only Reid double checking on JJ T-T

my heart

Like rough time all around with these two…

Also I feel like this awkwardness honestly takes away from this being a huge time where JJ was injured and on her own with the unsub instead of Reid. And they took a killer agent out of the field by leaving Reid over JJ. Also Reid being so respectful to Will and trying so hard to like you know not have this whole thing effect anything. And immediately apologizing and litteraly just speaking and poor baby Reid doesn’t know how to explain emotion and ahhhh him crying.

OMG SO I FURSY THOUGHT REID WHISPERED

“I’m still in love with you” but I turned on the subtitles (LIKE THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON WTF MAN) and he said “I don’t want to lose you” he doesn’t care that her telling him made him hurt, he cares that she won’t leave T-T

Also why tf is Reid being pulled 30 directions like 70% of the time hmmmmmm MGG you got some words for that, was that you to??? (THO I LOVE MY TRAUMATIZED BOI SO I AM ALSO GRATEFUL FOR THE ADVOCATING OF REID JUST SUFFERING AND THEM BEING LIKE YEAH AND ITS SO WELL DONE

also ft fans “Reid suffers so much, like give him so peace please!”

And then fanfic writers go “I’m sorry what? Oh you want him to hurt more! Yeah we can do that!!”

I’m here for all versions suffering and fluffy Reid)

“As precious time for both of us” awwww ma’am I’m gonna you to put more of the good stuff thrown at him plz, just toss that positive vibe/outlook

My heart

Both at Reid wanting to be “selfish” with his mother

And poor Grace (y’all are getting my reactions bc damn I forgot everything but what happens to Reid latter…)

Also I like due at this

“I don’t know who I am in this who if not your son, if I’m not protecting you” just tears

Truly a protector like they said in the “300” (can we tell I love that episode)

“You’re an adult now” “what does that mean” me too man me too

Ahdhfjfjdfj how did I forget this gold mine here!!!

#criminal minds spoilers #be forewarned #criminal minds spencer reid #spencer and jj #spencer reid #diana reid #criminal minds jj #criminal minds #dave rossi #emily prentiss #criminal minds emily prentiss #david rossi #criminal minds david rossi #criminal minds rossi #penelope garcia #criminal minds garcia #criminal minds penelope garcia

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razorblade180 · 1 year

Text

Recall

Nahida calmly reads on a window sill overlooking Sumeru. A subtle breeze turns the page before she finishes it. The wise archon turns the page back and continues, not even looking up.

Nahida:I see you’re back. Go anywhere nice.

Scara:*leaning on the wall* Just to the market. Nothing special.

Nahida:I don’t know. I’d say it’s pretty special down there.

Scara:…..

Nahida:Something wrong?

Scara:Do you…remember everything about the real events?

Nahida:That’s an interesting question. I do not. While I had your memories stored, it was mainly your formative years I saw and what recent stuff I did see was like me watching a movie. I saw it, and it gave me a reaction but that’s different from being the character on the screen experiencing it.

Scara:Couldn’t you have searched my mind completely and regain what I erased? Like data?

Nahida:Interesting idea. It’s not impossible. I just didn’t see it necessary. Why do you ask?

Scara:Guess you’re strange to me Buer. Despite you not remembering our history in its entirety, I can’t really say you’re treating me any differently from before.

Nahida:That should be a good thing. It means despite the trouble, I must’ve been given you a fair shake. You realized that already however. Why really bring this all up now? Do you feel some kind of regret or remorse? What to “everything happens for a reason”

Scara:Don’t get ahead of yourself. All I did was ask some questions. I would think someone who’s invested interest in me would want the full scope. Anything unforeseen or unknown could be a problem.

Nahida:Well…you’re definitely not wrong, but you’re also not being honest with yourself; which is to be expected at this point. *closes book* Even if you miss a puzzle piece, you can still get the picture by putting the rest together. However, it’s entirely possible that could be piece that’s the piece that helps you put everything together.

Scara:Then why not-

Nahida:Because as easy as it would be for me to find the pieces, it’s important for you to hand over whatever ones you have. People aren’t simple puzzles to pass the and I don’t like abusing my powers. If there’s something you think I should, or rather, remember, then you should give it willingly. I won’t pry you open for my benefit, and I don’t believe it would do you any long term favors.

Scara:….You have a very roundabout way of doing things.

Nahida:Hehe, you’re a very roundabout person with your feelings. I’ll ask again, why are you bringing this up?

Scara:….If you’re going to help me, then I think it’s only right you know how I treated you, and to see how everything really went down. So…get the full picture. I want you to.

Nahida:Very well. Open your hands and close your eyes.

He knelt down, doing as followed. Nahida holds both of his hands and lets her mind drift into his.

Memories uncover like steam fading off a mirror; stirring the god’s mind and soul. She was there, their first encounter. Heinous laughter and delusional pride, all mixed with anger and cold look that chilled the room. She remembered the insults, the fear, and the tireless loops it took to get one step closer to pushing back her foe; The Balladeer.

A feeling crawled up her spine remembering the brief yet intense encounter, yet, Nahida did not care for them. They did not stir her heart. The only thing that did was the end; when all that false bravado cracked and what was left was a boy screaming in fear and desperation, all but begging not to go back. Right before his fears solidified, and he gave up on it all, falling to the ground. Nahida opened her eyes to find him looking away, his hands shaking as that was a memory she knew he wished he forgot. Nahida couldn’t decide if it was the traumatic experiences that made him wish for that, or if it was the immense vulnerability he loathed so much yet couldn’t deny. Perhaps he even awaited a glimmer of disdain to enter her gaze and words. Regardless of his expectations or thoughts, she hugged him gently as she held in her own tears. Five hundred years of pain. She knew it well, but as hers finally felt like it was fading, she now remembered the face she could’ve made if it all crumbled right in front of her eyes. It was almost more than she could take. Nahida recalled what truly ignited her desire to help him so adamantly.

Nahida:…..*hug tighter* Thanks for the memories. I’ll hold them with care.

Scara:…Thank you, Nahida.

#genshin impact #nahida #scaramouche

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noxexistant · 11 months

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Hi I wanna know what you think all the newsies’ mental illnesses are 😤

Or as many as you can think of

oh, hell yes. bout to put my lifetime of my own brain plus everyone i’ve met through mental health exploration and treatment plus living in care with other traumatised and mentally ill kids to work. (although, obligatory disclaimer, these are just ideas and me messing around, mental health is messy and complicated especially when translating between modern understanding and how that would’ve been understood and expressed in-period. this is not me formally diagnosing these characters, more just being like ‘hey, what if’ in a more nebulous sense. and, again, mental health is messy!)

first of all, jack definitely has c-ptsd - complex post-traumatic stress disorder, caused by consistent and long-term trauma and, as the name implies, with more complicated and far-reaching symptoms than ‘standard’ ptsd. he dissociates a lot, and his visions of santa fe can border on delusion when he’s in worse states - which can sometimes border on hypomania. his self-esteem is unstable and imbalanced, and he has a lot of issues with paranoia; he believes the world is against him, that anyone will betray him, that any information learned about him will be used against him. he lies compulsively as a result, about even the most innocuous stuff. he uses anger as a cover for his emotions. he’s restless and unable to really hold grudges because he’s so desperate for bonds, but he’s also quick to back off when people get too close. he has a pretty fearful-avoidant attachment style, but feels deeply betrayed when other parties are the ones to back away from him instead of the other way around. he also probably has adhd, defined by hyperfocus and hyperfixations and inattentiveness to anything he finds dull, he’s fidgety and talks a lot and usually ends up putting his foot in his mouth and then talking even more.

david has anxiety and frequent panic attacks, and i can also see him having ocpd - obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is entirely separate from ocd. it’s characterised by a need for perfection and severe anxiety when things aren’t perfect, holding unrealistically high expectations for himself and others, and getting very anxious/distressed when mistakes are made by himself or others. he likes things organised and structured, his perfectionism holds him back from actually doing things, he focuses on work and productivity rather than his needs or hobbies, he has trouble delegating or working with others as he can believe that he’s the only person who can do something right. he has to hold himself back from immediately re-doing tasks for others, like when one of the other newsies ties their boots sloppily or les doesn’t fold his clothes right or sarah doesn’t wash the dishes properly. he’s also autistic.

crutchie has ptsd, bouts of depression, and is all but incapable of being honest about his emotions - he’d rather keep them under wraps and all but avoid them entirely, would sooner make himself sick with them than express them openly to others. he also dissociates, which helps with avoiding emotions, though his dissociative bouts happen most commonly after ptsd triggers or flashbacks. he goes empty-eyed and unresponsive when he’s dissociating, just staring into the middle distance, and he can’t get out of bed on the worst days of his depression. he won’t eat, won’t speak, will at most just try and smile at anyone who expresses concern - tight-lipped, more of a grimace than anything.

race has adhd and episodes of hypomania. he exhibits self-destructive and self-endangering behaviours, including starting fights and generally just doing stupid stuff that could well get him and others hurt, and he absolutely cannot be talked down when he’s hypomanic. he has aggressive/violent outbursts if anyone tries, will stop talking to them - usually running away to brooklyn entirely - until he’s come down by himself, and then he’ll come back and apologise sincerely for what he might’ve said when he was “jittery”. the others are always understanding, though race still harbours a lot of shame for it. he’s terrified one day he’ll say or do something that makes spot hate him.

albert is anxious and restless and a kleptomaniac - he steals compulsively, particularly anything shiny or expensive-looking. he’s not great with relationships, tends to have little interest in other people, and can’t really read tone or social cues. i could see him having symptoms of autism or schizoid personality disorder, which have a considerable overlap in symptoms, most commonly characterised by difficulty with relationships and disinterest and “lack of humour” and preferring being alone - though quite probably not enough symptoms to be diagnosed with either (speaking in the realms of a modern au).

finch, i could totally see having schizoid personality disorder. he’s paranoid too, frequently gets the idea in his head that he’s being watched or followed, particularly since he ran away, or feels like the others are talking about him. he hoards food (as much as he can when there’s so little of it) and has a lot of sleep problems, sleeping little and light. he doesn’t really dream, but when he does they’re stress dreams or nightmares and he always wakes up with his heart pounding. he’ll spend the time until the bell rings sat up, eyes darting around the room, sure there’s something, someone, something.

specs has symptoms of ocd, most commonly rituals to ensure the safety of the other newsies. he has to wash his face just right so that everyone sells okay that day, and step over the trolley lines perfect because if he doesn’t someone‘ll get hit, touch each of the beds in a certain order to make sure everyone’s safe for the night, stuff like that. his glasses are also always spotless, and nobody can touch them.

tommy boy stammers and has social anxiety. splasher has ptsd, and frequent nightmares because of it - and an intense fear of abandonment. elmer has very little self-esteem and is loud/disruptive for attention, including making out-of-turn jokes. henry harbours nothing but guilt for his father’s death (even though it wasn’t at all his fault, it’s often just how grief manifests) and isn’t processing his grief at all, sometimes he’ll lose himself in the delusion that his father isn’t really dead and the deli is still waiting for him; he also has a lot of issues with food, including binging when food is available.

spot’s got c-ptsd and his complicated emotions tend to manifest as anger/aggression. he doesn’t know how to articulate his feelings, and usually won’t try. she’s kind of terrified by her relationship with race, because she doesn’t know why race likes her and wholly believes that he’ll suddenly stop. their sense of self-esteem is very complicated - very high in some aspects, and non-existent in others. he can struggle with depersonalisation.

and, bonus, because i’m me:

the delanceys both have c-ptsd. oscar has adhd and antisocial personality disorder. morris has bpd and autism. feel free to ask me if you wanna hear more about them, or about any other characters i didn’t mention, or even just more about a character in particular <3

#answered #anonymous #my headcanons

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imtooscaredforthis · 1 year

Text

Tethered

Part III- Chapter 22: Confused

Mentions of: Amnesia, Frustration, Anxiety, Fear, Past Injuries, Slight Flirting(?) etc.

A/N: Some cute stuff with Jake before Frank comes to ruin the fun..

Tags: @prettycutebunny @vandeaad @dead-bxxxtch-walking @moonshineinasippycup @mama-miya

“Can you repeat that again?” You rubbed at your temples as your head throbbed in pain. This was all giving you a huge headache.

Jake let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. It seemed that both of you were getting frustrated. “Okay, so, The Entity, a god-like being has taken all of us from our original realms and puts us in trials where we’re hunted and sacrificed by killers, but we can never truly die. Our main goal is to escape alive every trial by fixing five generators. Understand?”

“Yeah, I think so. But what about that hooking thing you were mentioning before? And how do I fix those generators? And why is this happening?” You questioned.

“Don’t worry about that right now. You’ve been through a lot. You can figure out all that other stuff later. Just try to get some rest.” With that, he walked away from you, leaving you to sit alone by the fire.

Rest? How could you rest knowing that you’re going to be stuck in this hellscape for Eternity, trying to escape, being constantly hunted and killed just to do it all over again?

You glanced over at the other survivors. Some were on high alert, others were angry and determined, and there was a small few that actually seemed…accustomed to this.

How could anyone be used to this? Somehow, you managed to make it out of the previous trial only slightly injured, but Huntress’ humming still haunted you, echoing around in your head..

And the feeling of her hatchet, going into your side like it once did before…you could only imagine how those hooks felt. You reached down, touching your side, no longer feeling any pain from there, no signs of a scar or anything. This place is weird.

But that wasn’t the worst part. Deep down, you know that somehow, you’ll get used to this place and understand its rules. What you fear is what you don’t know. What you don’t remember.

Life before you got taken here. You didn’t remember any of it. Whenever you tried to think back on it, it was all blurry. You couldn’t even remember your own name, or who you were.

The only thing you did have to remember yourself by was your clothes, and those weren’t anything special. Just a tank top and some pajama shorts. You also had the silver locket you were wearing, but there was nothing inside it.

At first, you thought it was this place, but when you spoke with the other survivors, they told you they didn’t have those problems. Claudette suggested that something traumatic might’ve happened before you were taken, giving you some type of amnesia and maybe, when The Entity starts giving you some items from your realm, you’ll remember again.

That gave you some hope, but you still had that nagging fear that you’ll never be able to remember again. That you won’t know who you are, and be stuck as some soulless empty shell, only focusing on surviving and nothing else. You didn’t want that. You really didn’t.

–

You swore under your breath as the generator exploded on you yet again, sparks flying everywhere. Luckily for you, no one was nearby to witness your mistake. No killer nor survivor.

So, you pressed on. You really hated these things. Despite having it explained multiple ways, you constantly struggled to understand how to work the contraption. When you did start to figure it out, you would somehow end up forgetting and messing it up all over again.

It was humiliating whenever another survivor was on a generator with you, most growing impatient and leaving, or the others showing you pity. At this point, most survivors know when they see you on a generator, run the other way. It was almost like you were the killer.

But there was still a select few that didn’t give up on you. That kept on trying to help you, no matter how hopeless you seemed. You admired their determination and considered them as your friends.

When you felt a hand tap your shoulder, you jumped, preparing to run for your life. You stopped yourself when you realized it was just Jake, putting a hand over your heart. “Fuck, don’t scare me like that.”

But then, you realized your heart wasn’t racing because of him. Looking forward, you spotted the Trapper in the distance, heading right towards you. Jake pulled you away from the generator, leading you over to the barn, where he couldn’t find you.

The two of you watched and waited with bated breath as he neared, fearing the worst. Your heart almost stopped when he looked in your direction, and you had to practically hold your breath so he wouldn’t hear you. Your body was trembling in anticipation and adrenaline, preparing to break into a sprint the moment he walked towards you.

Luckily, he didn’t, directing his attention to the generator you were working on instead. He gave the machine a few rough kicks, making it sputter and cough, before going back to its original state, stopping the small amount of progress you had once before.

He sauntered off in the opposite direction, leaving you and Jake be. Once he was out of sight, and your heart finally slowed down, you walked back to the generator, letting out a huff of frustration.

“Damn it, now I have to try working this stupid thing all over again. You might as well leave, because this is going to take a while, and I’m probably going to screw it up and bring him right back.” You admitted.

Jake shook his head, refusing to move. “Just start working on it. I’ll help you.”

You sighed in defeat, kneeling down next to the machine. “There’s no point in helping me if I’m just going to forget.”

Reaching over, you picked up the wires, and as you went to push them together, Jake kneeled behind you, taking your hand and moving it from the blue wire to the green one.

“Try it now.” You felt yourself tense at the contact, your face growing flushed. He was so close to you, his body practically touching yours. and you could barely focus.

Growing nervous, you rubbed the wires together, expecting an explosion. When you got a spark, you were surprised. You rubbed them together again, jump starting the machine.

“See? Just keep practicing and your body will eventually get muscle memory so you don’t have to worry about forgetting about it or not. Here, let’s work on the sides now.” He told you.

You doubt that you’re going to forget this any time soon, especially after what he just did.

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