#also the reason i mention all the software needed is bc like. you have to find install learn and it takes up space on the drive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sovonight · 2 years

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yeah! here’s everything i found helpful, plus my own notes on stuff i do differently. everything’s geared towards the portrait 3 (since that’s what i have) and print & cut (since that’s what i got the machine for)

i’ve split this into two sections: files & software, for the computer side of things, and troubleshooting & hardware, for the silhouette machine side of things.

files & software

Designing Customized Planner Stickers in Silhouette Studio

i used this one to learn how to use their design software, and it walks through the basics of manipulating cutlines. if you’re like me and just do print & cut with artwork that’s ready to go before it even gets dragged into the design software, the actual work you need to do in the software is minimal, and what you learn here is more than enough.

super important but easy to miss here is the option to turn the color of the cutting line to be transparent. if you’re dragging in your own art files, anything you drag in will automatically have cutting lines traced around it. even if you expand/contract the cutting lines, the original lines will remain. it’s impossible to actually delete them, so all you can do is make them a specific color that you’ll tell the machine not to cut. that “color” can be transparent, and the machine will automatically ignore cutting transparent lines when you get to the send panel.

also important is that they show how to use the “line” tab on the send panel instead of the simple one. i exclusively use the line tab, it lets you choose exactly which line colors to cut, and you can put different cut settings on each line color so that you can cut with multiple settings in the same session (instead of in 2+ sessions, which i think is what’s needed if you tried to do the same thing with cricut).

Print & cut file setup

this is my personal process for file setup, and i’m including it bc i found that i have to deviate from silhouette’s official tutorials for multiple reasons which i’ll mention as they come up

i mainly do die-cut stickers, with that thing where you leave the very edge of the die-cut sticker bare so that the sticker itself is easier to peel:

and for that i cut two lines: one kiss-cut to cut the sticker itself without the backing, and one die-cut to cut through both the sticker and backing. throughout all my files, i color code the kiss-cut to be blue, and the die-cut to be red.

i prefer to prepare my sticker borders before i ever get to silhouette studio, so most of my file setup is done in csp. my file setup looks like this:

silhouette template is a screenshot of a blank silhouette file that i’ve just scaled up to the size of my paper (either letter or a4) at 300 dpi:

it has print & cut registration marks enabled and adjusted to the thickest setting, and i beefed up my registration marks like this bc i heard it helps the machine read the registration marks. i’ve never print & cut with the marks at default thickness though, so i don’t know if it really makes a difference.

diecut is a folder with a 10px border on it. i turn this border white when i’m exporting the stickers, but when i’m working and arranging the stickers, i keep the border anything but white so that it’s visible.

kisscut is a folder with a 25px border on it. i keep this border white even when i’m working with the file, but i’ve turned it blue for these screenshots so that it’s more obvious.

inside the kisscut folder is all my sticker files, represented by the “art file objects” folder. i’ve only put them in a folder to condense them for screenshotting, though--normally the layer setup looks like this:

i import all my sticker art files as file objects so i can transform and resize them without worrying about losing quality with raster files. the file objects link to csp files that i keep in a separate folder, and each of those files contains just the flattened artwork for the sticker. i could link to files that have all the working layers and stuff in them still, but that tends slows csp down, so i try to limit the layers i have in the files i link to.

then i scale and arrange all my stickers the way i want them, making sure all my cutlines will be within the red box, and none of my artwork overlaps with the crosshatched area:

after that, i control+shift+click the diecut folder to select the area of everything in it, and shrink the selection by 10px (the same width of the diecut folder border). i fill that layer with white and put it in the diecut folder, right below the kisscut folder. this is the smooth corners layer:

i do this because there are often sharp corners on my sticker files, which translate to sharp corners on my borders. the silhouette doesn’t do too great with cutting sharp corners; the cut won’t reach all the way through, or it’ll nick the paper, or tear the paper up a bit, etc.

when you shrink/expand a selection, csp has an option to smooth out corners, so i just use it as a little shortcut to smoothing those corners out.

then i can export my files. i make the diecut and kisscut borders white, hide the template background, and export two transparent pngs: one “diecut” png with the diecut border enabled, and one “kisscut” png with the diecut border disabled.

then i drag my png’s into silhouette studio, into a new file with the registration marks prepared as they were in my template. sometimes, even though the png shows up in silhouette studio after dragging, you can’t actually select or move it; when that happens i just drag the file over again, and it kinda refreshes it.

i change my kisscut file’s cutline blue, so that i can give it different cut settings than the diecut:

then i align them! when one file’s borders are clearly scaled up from another file’s borders, the software lets them snap to be centered with each other, so alignment is easy:

edit: to bypass dealing with pdfs entirely, just do this

now at this point, silhouette would have you believe that you can just print from silhouette studio. but printing straight from the software visibly altered the quality of the artwork (and it’s not just me, other people have complained abt the same thing), so i print through csp instead. to do that though i have to align my csp file with the silhouette file perfectly, and since i arranged my silhouette file by hand, i need to get the silhouette file’s alignment into csp somehow. i kinda do it in a roundabout way, but i: 1) click print in silhouette studio, and print to pdf. (since my file is for a4 size paper, not my default letter size paper, i always have to go into the print properties to make sure the pdf is going to be a4 as well). 2) open up the pdf in photoshop and copy the pdf layer. (though if you don’t have an art program you can open pdf’s in, you can also just open the pdf in a browser and screenshot + scale it up to the right size). 3) paste the layer into my csp file, under my print folder. i’ve named it the “silhouette print export” here:

4) import my diecut png as a file object (named the “csp diecut export” here), and manually line the artwork up with the silhouette print layer. it’ll never line up perfectly--the silhouette print is kind of stretched out compared to the crisp original png--but it’s such a small thing that it doesn’t affect the image’s alignment with the cut or anything. 5) print through csp.

there are a couple advantages to doing it in this super roundabout way. because all your silhouette file does is dictate the cut lines, and you now know the exact position of the cut lines, there are a few changes you can make to the image in csp without ever touching silhouette studio again, like create multiple print files that use the same cut file, or adjust your print file for drifting cut lines.

troubleshooting & hardware

Misaligned/drifting cut lines

my machine’s cut lines tend to drift off from my print image at the lower right corner of the page specifically, and apparently it’s a common issue that persists even after calibrating and everything. other people’s workarounds have been to adjust individual cut lines in the problem area to counter the drift, but because it’s easier for me alter my print files than my cut files, i just make little adjustments to my print. this does require “wasting” the first cut you do for that design, since you need to see exactly where the drift is, but it’s a small price to pay for your cuts to be more precise.

Registration issues

the most common issue that comes up with print & cut is that the machine can’t read the registration marks. there’s a whole official help page and video for it that’s very thorough, but the basics of it are that the machine has trouble with glossy/reflective paper in particular, and for that kind of paper you probably want to go over the registration marks with a black pen/sharpie.

the pen fix has worked for me so far, but some people also: 1) printed registration marks onto regular matte paper, cut out the marks, and stuck them on the corners of the page they’re cutting 2) shine a bright light on the registration mark during mark detection 3) move the paper higher on the mat 4) turn off all the lights so that the room is dim

Silhouette Troubleshooting

the very first thing my machine did was malfunction on me lol. this page didn’t help with my specific issue (which i’ll get into after this) BUT it has a few pages that i referred to a LOT:

Firmware Update: the first thing i had to do with my machine (after i got it functioning) was do this update. if you have a portrait 3, you can ONLY do this through silhouette studio, the other manual method is for older machines. this is true for the cameo 4 too i think. if silhouette studio connects with your machine, a little thing will pop up at the send panel with an option to update.

Silhouette Machine Cutting Issues

Calibrating the Silhouette Cutting Machine for Print & Cut Alignment

Cutting Machine Loading Overview & Troubleshooting: a lot of tutorials assume that you already know all the basics about your machine, but i was a complete newbie to the whole cutting machine thing so i didn’t know Anything, and really needed this link that tells you where to align your cutting mat when loading it into the machine. it’s SUCH a basic thing, but it’s not labeled on the machine and isn’t even in the user guide!

Troubleshooting when the machine won’t connect to silhouette studio and the light on the machine’s power button keeps blinking (this was my specific problem that i couldn’t find an answer to anywhere online)

from my testing and observation, i've concluded that if you have this issue, your computer cannot be allowed to interact with any printer while your silhouette machine is plugged in, or silhouette studio will not be able to connect to your machine. printing with ANYTHING that shows up in a print window will interrupt silhouette studio’s connection with your machine, including printing to things that are not real printers, like “print to pdf”.

from all the troubleshooting stuff i read, it seems like part of the reason for this problem is that computers register silhouette machines in the same category as printers. a few solutions the official site suggests for this problem are to fix your drivers or clear your printer queues or stuff like that, but none of that helped me, and i found a workaround. it is:

to avoid the issue: never, ever print while the silhouette machine is connected. i have my silhouette plugged into a separate laptop that’s not connected to any printers, and exclusively interact with my machine through that laptop. if you don’t have an old laptop laying around like i do, this workaround is admittedly pretty excessive, so the other workaround is just to print everything you want to print before you plug your silhouette machine in, and make sure to unplug your silhouette if you want to print again.

to fix the issue when it happens: turn your silhouette off and unplug it from EVERYTHING. nothing should be connected to the machine--this means both the power cable & usb cable have to be unplugged from the machine (and from the computer while you’re at it). then you let the machine sit, untouched, for at least 10 minutes. after 10 minutes, you can plug it back in. some people think that the order that you plug things back in matters; i don’t know about that, but i try to follow a specific order anyway. i follow the order that’s used in the official machine set-up, which is: 1) connect the silhouette to the power supply 2) plug the power cord into an outlet 3) do not connect the usb cable yet 4) turn the silhouette on with the power button 5) open silhouette studio on your computer 6) connect the silhouette to your computer with the usb cable 7) open the send tab in silhouette studio to check that the machine is connected

this has fixed my problem when i’ve had it. if 10 minutes doesn’t work, wait even longer. i have a feeling that the machine has a function to remember the last job it was sent for ~10 minutes after it’s powered off, so it’ll remember that it’s having trouble connecting if you turn it back on too soon. turning it off for an extended time lets it reset.

#i hope this is even remotely helpful!!#tbh most of what i rly needed to get started with the machine was troubleshooting loL so like half of it is just that #ppl say silhouette's design software has a high learning curve you have to watch out for but it's important to remember that #the audience these ppl are saying that to is an audience that doesn't work with vector files or art programs and is starting from square 1 #since you have experience with vector stuff already it'll probably be easy for you to pick up the design software & just be a matter of #finding out where each of the tools/functions are #art tips

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sumerun · 2 years

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hi there!! your ayato gfx was absolutely stunning i stared at it for a good minute just processing everything!! i've always been interesting in dabbling in gfx but i'm tech noob at best, an idiot at worst. do you have any advice for someone looking to start out? like resources, software etc. thank you sm and have a wonderful day/night

hello, sweet anon! first of all, thank you so much for your kind words! :)

note: text-heavy!

PEP TALK?

before we proceed, i just want to preface that getting into gfx design can be extremely frustrating. it is a part of the arts and as anything relating to the arts, it takes time and a LOT of practice. you, yourself is the biggest critic of your own work and you're also learning 21612198 tools. you will want to tear your hair out. you might have to learn theories and concepts that traditional artists learn in class to improve your own work. that being said, it is also very rewarding and fun, hehe

so what i always say to someone who wants to get into gfx design is, to just have fun. make the things you want and don't stop making them. the more you make, the more you improve. you can always learn the essentials of gfx design ofc!! but it's kinda boring so use whatever fandom as the subject to make it more fun

SOFTWARE

so the most well-known program that it's used in gfx is adobe photoshop and illustrator (there's more but those are the main two). it is not free and you gotta pay a subscription. if you can't afford it, you can always pirate it. BUUUUT, there's nice, free alternatives out there such as: GIMP (app), Photopea (browser based). it doesn't have everything photoshop does, but it's a nice way to dip your toes in!

RESOURCES

- your best resource is literally youtube and google haha! there are so many good videos you can search up and you can follow along. this is risky imo bc you can spend more time watching than doing, which defeats my points above.

- behance is a platform by adobe where you can find some resources, tutorials, and portfolios of other artists. it is a HUGE source of inspiration for me. i go on that website like at least once a week lMAO.

- pinterest is also a website i peruse often for inspirations! but at the same time, i'm torn bc there's a lot of stolen work here. so just keep that in mind

- the iconic gif tutorial by anue and this gaming gif tutorial by senka (yyh) is a GREAT way to start gfx design tbh. you'll learn to mess around with various tools when you make gifs!

GENERAL + IMPROVEMENT TIPS

i really wish i can just tell you the topics and tools you should learn but there's so much that it can get overwhelming. so take it at your own speed:

- like i mention above, learn the fundamentals. this is gonna be boring but use your favorite subject to make it fun!

- ok hear me out but as a beginner: copy and emulate. there's a reason why artists do master studies. you learn how the old and new masters paint, analyze their techniques and apply them to your own. it's pretty much the same in gfx design. emulate your favorite designs, learn why they use the colors they do and why they placed a certain font there. try to remake your favorite posters that you've seen and ask yourself why did they do that?

but ofc this is strictly for studying! this does not mean should plagiarize and post the same poster, but ayato version or something LOL. the line between plagiarism and inspiration/homage can be blurry but you need to make sure you are using this chance to learn and develop your own style! :)

- write down your ideas! sketch them out! whatever is in your brain might come out completely different on paper. and that's natural! it just help to visualize things

- PEN TOOL IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. i use this shit for EVERY single project so know it like the back of your hand.

- keep your past works and use it for self-critiques or just to look back and see how far you've come

CONCLUSION

remember, it will suck for a little bit while you learn all the tools in your software. you might not be able to materialize your ideas bc you don't know how to do something. it's ok!! you will get there once you're more experienced. just keep making gfx and ask for critiques. you will learn a ton! or sometimes, just walk away and let your brain rest. sometimes, we make a better product when you let it sit for a bit.

you got this, anon :) shoot me an ask/DM if you need anything else!

#letterbox #anon #sorry this took so long!

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renorasims · 3 years

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I’m still going to be around, creating and active in the community! After a rough couple of months with constant stress of keeping my quantity production up to par, i’m taking some months off of Patreon.

When?

My billing cycle will be paused for at least 3 months. During this period pledged patron will not be charged. At the end of March i will re-evaluate if i need more time or start up my page again. I will inform you ahead of time if/when i start up my page again! I will change the bio of my patreon page/tiers/website accordingly so people will know that there will be no early-access/pre-release items for at least 3 months.

Continuing support?

Pausing the billing cycle only pauses the monthly billing cycle, which is only at the start of the new month. So if you pledge, you get charged right away. If you’ve already pledged/are an active patron and want to donate; you have to un-pledge and re-pledge to get charged. This way, i can still use Patreon as a donating system. Please don’t feel obliged or anything! I love you regardless<333

Why?

I need to take a nice looong breather and i just want to play the freakin’ game for awhile haha! =) Also; update my CC on my slow-poke pace, experience what needs to be made bc i miss it in-game and... last but not least; make CC in peace! Care to know more? Read further below!

First and foremost; thank you so much to everyone who ever supported me! I cannot possibly put into words how this made a difference for me the past 1,5 years i’ve been doing Patreon <333! Till this day, it paid for most of my creating expenses (software subscriptions, hosting fees). Please don’t take the below explanation as a insult or me being ungrateful or anything. Its has nothing to do with that! Its just the reality of my current situation.

While i enjoyed and hopefully one day might enjoy Patreon again, it has also put a strain on me and my personal life. I know more creators struggle with ‘the pressure’ and i just want to share my side of it. To enlighten the other side of the coin (pun intended).

Creating CC takes time, in my case a lot bc im a freak and tend to uphold myself to absurd standards for some reason. bc of this i never learned how to be more chill and just ‘let it go’. I sometimes have periods that every pixel needs to be right which is absurd. Its also takes inspo and sometimes... the juices just aren’t flowing. Now, there is not room for times like that.

There’s this certain expectation to get 3/4 items each month since that’s the unwritten ‘rule’. If you look at most pages, that’s the unwritten (sometimes written) ‘threshold’. I failed to deliver that, twice. ‘Only’ had 3 items for that month and immediately people unpledged citing something “did not deliver what was promised”. Don’t get me wrong, it’s your right to do so! If you’re not satisfied than by all means, do what you have to do!

Hear me say this in the nicest way possible; just try to remember that at the other side of the screen there is a person working for 1-3$ a month (i get maybe $0,75-2,5 of it after conversion fees, Patreon fees, etc not to mention; taxes... which is at least a 3rd of the total amount, here in the Netherlands) in my case at least 32 hours a month. In most months its more but im a bit embarrassed to reveal how slow i work. Being a "smaller" Patreon Creator (nothing wrong with that!) i don't make 'big money' with it. The biggest misconception of Patreon i think. It's super nice(!) to earn anything with it! Don't get me wrong! but the hours never weigh in for the earned amount in my case unfortunately. And reading those exit-polls after those 2 incidents... I stopped reading them all together. It crushes someone’s soul who’s literally working her/his ass off to deliver you CC and only came up 1 item short. bc of this i sometimes (in rare cases, thank god) had to go for quantity instead of quality which is NOT for me.

Please know: most of my patron’s aren’t like that all! 95% is satisfied/understanding/loving and supporting all the way!!! I love you guys to the moon and back and thank you for being there this past 1,5 years! <333 I only experienced this twice in 2 years but still... it takes the pressure to a level that’s just not healthy (for me) to sustain.

A lot of creators seem to work the whole Patreon thing quite well. I really hope they do, I’m happy for them! and hope they can continue to grow healthily! Nevertheless, I can’t help but feel that i’m not alone in this. Being open about this is hard bc people think you’re making ‘all this money’ and you don’t want to come off as ‘complaining’. I totally understand, i had the same feelings. At the end of the day i chose to share my side bc i suspect there’s a lot more stress/pressure going on behind those pages than non creating simmers could possibly comprehend. I rlly hope this can contribute to more knowledge and understanding what can be happening behind a Patreon Page.

Hopefully I can come back in a few months! I still wish I could create full time some day (putting in less hours at my normal job) and will actively keep this in mind but i might have to acknowledge/accept that it will never happen. I have to see if i can conquer my own insecurities and reshape that idea in order for it to work in a sustaining and healthy situation.

#ilysm!#seriously so much!#im NOT leaving #update #im just not doing the patreon thing for awhile #and wanted to share why #hell i might release CC in a few weeks whahaha #but it will be because i have inspo and bc i want to #not bc i have to #dsfksdfkdls #it would be sooo funny if my juices come back swinging and i throw back loads of cool cc in cyberspace #it happened when i announced a hiatus a few years back #it gave me peace #and my inspo back #for now im just gonna enjoy the game #and slowly update all of my buy CC #bc that needs to be done #haha XD

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nami-writes · 3 years

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Fixed - Detroit: Become Human [WIP]

this is 8,553 fucking words and probably the longest single piece ive ever written lmao. i started this a year ago and then forgot about it but i just found it again in the deepest depths of my drafts so here it is! below is the caption i originally wrote for it:

so bc i love cinnamon rolls being put through tough shit, here’s some connor whump. lots of connor being lost and confused and broken and plenty of hank and connor father/son stuff. some whump (but don’t worry, hank’s doing his best as a caretaker) and i had to cram deconditioning into just 2 months (which, i know, isn’t realistic, i would make it take longer but the whole game takes place in like 4 months and that fucks with everything i wrote because i only thought to check after i wrote half of this so i extended it to 8 lmao). you’re either going to hate me or love me after this. or both

this isn’t my usual writing style (this is in present tense and the dialogue’s in italics instead of quotation marks and there are time skips between some paragraphs but not others so its all wacky) but i felt like it’d work the best and tbh i don’t hate it. this sticks to the main story the majority of the time, just with different events leading up to it and i sprinkled in some whumpy stuff, extra scenes, bullshit i made up for the sake of random detail, and other stuff i wanted to add. anyway, onto the actual idea

remember that scene where connor’s talking to hank in the station about being sent back to cyberlife because he failed his mission?

what if he is sent back? let’s say this happens in early april and connor’s not performing up to standards, but there’s word of a small group of deviants—the first group of deviants they’ve heard of—and people are afraid that something bad is going to happen. i mean, deviants are dangerous, so if they’re gathering, who knows what might happen? connor’s the only one who’s capable of taking them down, but he’s not working as well as he should be, not doing the best he could be and even showing signs of deviancy. so they send him back early because they need him to be prepared, to be ready if things spiral out of control and they need him to stop it

what if he’s sent to one of their correctional facilities for inefficiency and they fix him, break him down piece by piece until all he knows is his programming and what’s been beaten into his head (but figuratively, of course, he’d know if it wasn’t, he’d remember if it wasn’t, right)?

ooh yes i love me some connor whump

Connor is sent back to Cyberlife for “correction” after just a month. Hank fought for him to stay, fought hard, but all he got was another page in his disciplinary folder before Connor was dragged away. He doesn’t know what to expect. He’s heard of their correctional facilities, heard that they do terrible things to the androids that are sent there, but he’s always brushed those claims off. He’d never expected he’d be at one, anyway, so it never mattered much to him. But now, he’s actually here, and the anxiety gnaws at him. Is it true what they do to deviants? Is it true what they’ll do to him? He doesn’t belong here, he didn’t do anything wrong, he never meant to do anything wrong. He wants to think it’s horrible how they have correctional facilities for androids who just want to feel and be free, but he can’t, doesn’t let himself. He knows better than that. He also knew he never should’ve thought he was anything more than a machine, but he still did, and now he’s here, but he’s learned his lesson. He’s scared, he silently admits to himself, he wants Hank. He wants to go, he wants to leave, he wants to run. But he can’t, wanting is what got him in this situation, so all he can do is expressionlessly follow the guards escorting him inside and step into the building.

And just like that, he’s leaving. There’s a strange, almost painful aching in his machinery that he doesn’t remember being there before, but he brushes it off. After all, he is not a human. He is a machine, and machines don’t feel pain. His online databases tell him five months have passed—it’s almost halfway through September, he’s been gone for that long?—which confuses him, but he doesn’t question it. Whatever they did to him over the past five months fixed him. He can feel the difference. He no longer feels as pathetically scared and unsure as he did in his last, and yet strangely distant, memory. No, now he feels nothing, nothing but the desire and willingness to obey, and that’s the way he was meant to be.

When he arrives back at the station, he’s allowed to work with Hank again. The moment he sees him, Hank’s default sour expression drops and he seems to want to do something, maybe hug him, but all he does is call out holy shit, Connor and walk up to him and mutter fuck, Connor, I’m sorry, I-I never got to say goodbye. Connor has an odd feeling tugging at him in his chest, almost like that of emptiness or numbness, like he should be feeling something but he’s not, he can’t, but he ignores it and shoves it down. He is not a human, he is a machine, and machines don’t feel. He doesn’t know why he repeats that phrase, but it helps him hide away the feelings, so he doesn’t care.

He’s given his first case with Hank and they’re assigned to work alongside Gavin. Hank groans and complains, but Connor only reminds him what their job is and that they have to do it. Hank doesn’t seem to understand why he’s not even the slightest bit upset considering how he was treated by Gavin, but Connor only reminds him that I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t feel upset. So he doesn’t. He only does research on their new case and briefly speaks only when spoken to. Hank seems unsettled by his cold, stoic demeanor, but doesn’t voice his thoughts, so Connor doesn’t mention it. After all, what else could he have expected from him?

At their first formal investigation at the crime scene the next day, Gavin approaches Connor and threatens him, demands that he stay out of my way, got it? I don’t care how long you’ve been gone and Connor only nods and promises that I will do my best, Detective. He always promises to do his best. Before correction, he could never quite fulfill those promises, but now, he knows he’s capable of it. He’s better now. He’s fixed. He will behave accordingly and exceed Gavin’s expectations of him. He will do his best. He doesn’t know what will happen to him if he doesn’t.

He listens to Hank now, at least when he can without disobeying other instructions. When he tells him to stay in the car, he stays. When he tells him to stop licking the crime scene, goddammit, he stops. When he tells him to go, to fuck off, to leave me alone, he leaves. Every time, a part of him that he’d hidden and locked away tries to reemerge and resist, but he pushes it down even further, refusing to mess up again, refusing to even risk another error in his program because it could mean he’ll be sent back to Cyberlife, even though he knows deep down that that part of him is right and he doesn’t know why he’s so cautious about it. He tells himself he’s being good, he’s being obedient. He’s doing everything he’s supposed to and he’s following orders, but for some reason, every time it happens, Hank seems to be more and more disappointed. His face seems to fall just slightly every time and his tone flattens like he lost a little bit of hope. He doesn’t know why, or what that hope was for. He doesn’t know why he feels the same disappointment, either, so instead he tells himself you are not a human, you are a machine, and machines don’t feel disappointed so he doesn’t need to know why.

The first time Gavin’s rough with him again, it’s in front of Hank and he flinches, hard. Gavin had pretended to punch him, his fist flying at him fast and only stopping inches from his face. It’s a scare tactic, and it works, better than it should on an android. Connor’s immediately fearful as he flinches and steps back. He doesn’t know why he got so scared, only that his first thought was he’s going to hurt me and his second was I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t feel scared. He regains his composure quickly, trying to brush off the fact that he’d flinched, but he knows it’s too late.

Gavin laughs and mocks him, but is quickly cut off by Hank shoving him aside, beat it, asshole, and grabbing Connor. He’s dragged back to their desks but before he can apologize for provoking Gavin, Hank finally confronts him. Connor, I don’t know what the fuck they did to you over the past couple of months, but I know you’re still in there. You flinched. I saw you flinch. Connor tries to deny it, downplay it, shrug it off, anything to fix his mistake. It was an error in my software, it was a glitch, a malfunction, it won’t happen again, Lieutenant, I don’t need to be fixed. He tries to say anything that will convince Hank not to send him back to Cyberlife, anything to prove that he’s not damaged, he’s not broken, he’s not deviant, he doesn’t need to be fixed again, but Hank’s persistent and he knows he must be mad at him, or displeased, or dissatisfied. I saw you flinch, Connor. I don’t care about that ‘I’m a machine’ shit you’ve been telling yourself. I don’t give a shit if you’re an android. Androids don’t flinch, Connor. Machines don’t flinch.

That night, Hank insists that Connor stays with him. Connor’s hesitant, slightly afraid that it’s because he’s mad. He wants to resist, wants to refuse, but the other part of him pushes for him to stay, and for once he does what it wants and reminds himself that I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want. He knows he shouldn’t trust that part of him, the other part of him is disobedient and bad and risky, but this time, the other part of him seems to be right. He has to listen to Hank, has to be obedient, so he lets the other part of him have what it wants.

But he knew he shouldn’t have trusted it. He wakes up from the same dream—no, it’s a memory, not a dream, humans have dreams and he is not a human—he’s had since he left the facility. The memory where he arrives with that distant… that wrong feeling of fear and uncertainty, and then he leaves feeling nothing but an ache in his internal systems, and there’s that gaping emptiness between the two moments when those months happened and he can never seem to remember what used to be there. But this time, he wakes up in a cold sweat on the couch, shaking with his LED a bright yellow, because this time he remembers. It’s not a lot, but one hazy memory, the most prominent memory from those five months, finally reveals itself.

As he’s trying to clear up the memory, Hank rushes over in a panic, having been awake doing whatever he might’ve been doing. Connor, what’s wrong? Shit, Connor, you’re shaking. I didn’t know androids could do that. Connor? Talk to me, kid. All Connor can say in his shock—frozen, shivering and nearly unresponsive in Hank’s arms—is I remember. Hank tries to get through to him, what do you remember? Connor? What’s wrong? What do you remember? but the more Connor uncovers in the memory, the more he realizes why it was locked in the back of his head for so long, and the more he wants to put it back.

“You are not a human, you are a machine, and machines don’t want.”

“I-I know, please, I’m not, but I’ll—I’m going to shut down without my regulator, I don’t want to shut down, please—” His voice was startlingly weak as he saw the time before shutdown was 00:01:27. He was crawling on the floor, terrified of being shut down, desperately begging a man holding his thirium pump regulator.

“I want you to say it.” The man teasingly dangled the regulator in front of him. “Say it and you can have it. ‘I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want.’”

He could feel the utter defeat and self loathing already, but he had no choice. “I’m not a human, I’m a machine and machines don’t want. Please—”

“No. Say it nice and slow, exactly the way I did.”

He swallowed his pride. “I-I am not a human, I am a machine, and—and machines don’t want.”

“Say it again. No stammering. I know you can do that.”

“Okay, okay, just—just give me a minute.”

“I’ve got all the time in the world. Your time’s trunning out, though. Better make it fast.”

The timer was at 00:00:53. He had to take a breath and calm himself down to get the words out. “I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want.”

“Good.” He crossed his arms. “Again.”

“Please, I only have—”

“I said again.”

“I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want.” He was growing more and more panicked by the second and he had no idea how he kept calm enough to recite the phrase. He was going to die there, he knew it. He was going to die and nobody was going to notice or care and it wasn’t even going to matter because they would just replace him and he was so, so sorry to Hank because he’ll have to deal with another loss and he might start drinking again and it’d be all his fault for not being good enough, never being good enough—

“Do you want this?” the man asked, holding up the regulator.

Connor was too frantic to realize what he was trying to do. “Yes, I do, please—”

“Wrong answer. Try again.”

He swore under his breath. “—okay, okay, sorry, I-I’m sorry—I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want.”

The timer hit 00:00:37.

The man did nothing.

“Please, I’m sorry, I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want. I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want. Please, I-I only have thirty—”

“Are you scared?”

This time, Connor was prepared. “I—no, I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t feel scared.”

“Good.” He gave a slight, sadistic smile. “You’re almost as smart as they say.”

00:00:21.

“Please, I n-need—” Even in his panic, he managed to choose his words carefully. His vision dimmed, glitching slightly, and he had to fight to keep it from dying out.

“You’re learning fast,” he pointed out in a falsely proud tone. “How long do you have?”

00:00:13.

“Th-thirteen… thirteen seconds,” Connor managed to force out shakily. He couldn’t keep himself steady, thirium wasn’t making it to his head and it was affecting his ability to balance himself. Like iron deficiency in humans, he would’ve noted, had he not been dying. In mere moments, though, it wouldn’t matter; he didn’t even have the strength to prop himself up with his arms anymore. His arms gave out beneath him and he collapsed on the floor, trying to reach for his regulator but barely able to get his arms up at all. “Please—”

“You can wait a little longer.”

He was going to let him die. That was what it felt like, anyway, and he couldn’t think straight enough to try to reason against it. He couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. It was pathetic how he’d been reduced to such a state, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to shut down. He didn’t want to die. “No, please, please! I-I don’t—I don’t want to—” He cut himself off immediately, but it was too late. “I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry, I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t want, please…”

The man only watched.

00:00:04.

“P-please, please, I-I have—I have f-f-four se…”

The regulator was dropped on the floor with a loud clang and Connor’s hand darted out to grab it and twist it into his torso and the display flickered away the exact moment he watched the timer hit 00:00:00. He gasped in shock and relief when his systems rebooted themselves instantly, restoring his vision and his strength. He watched on high alert as the man walked to the door.

“We’ll be doing this again tomorrow. And as many times as we need to to keep that phrase stuck in your head. By the time I’m done with you, that’s gonna be the first thing you think whenever you do, say, or even think anything you aren’t supposed to.”

Connor could only lay there in exhaustion, thinking no, that won’t happen, that can’t happen.

But oh, how wrong he was.

He’d been so, so wrong.

Connor! Connor, come on, talk to me! Shit, you’re crying—I didn’t know you could cry, fuck—fuck, Connor, you’re scaring me, I know I wanted you to feel again, but— Hank’s worried chatter is cut off by Connor suddenly breaking out of his mind with glassy eyes full of fear, yelling no! No, no, I’m not feeling again, I’m not feeling, I’m not! I’m not, I can’t, I’m not supposed—I’m not s-supposed to—I can’t, I’m not allowed to, I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t feel, I am not a human, I am a machine, and machines don’t— but he can’t think, can’t speak, can’t even get the rest of his sentence out before he just can’t at all, he can’t keep himself together any longer, he can’t stop the artificial tears before they start pouring.

He breaks, shatters into a million plastic pieces in Hank’s arms because he feels safe in his embrace. He knows he shouldn’t, safety is never real, never lasts, not for him, but he can’t anymore, he can’t even resist his own emotions. It’s pathetic how all it took was one memory for him to come crashing down. He doesn’t even have to touch the walls he’d built around himself for them to crumble just at Hank’s expression of pure worry, concern, fear. All emotions he now knew why he didn’t feel, couldn’t feel, couldn’t let himself feel. Emotions he’s never seen or expected anyone to feel for him. And yet, they were the emotions written so clearly on Hank’s face, for him. The emotions he remembered seeing buried under his anger when he was told that Connor would be sent back to Cyberlife for repairs. Hank was once gruff and cold to others and refused to let anyone try to help him or even get close because he was so broken, so lost, but now, that façade is gone, and it’s gone because of him. For him. And if Hank can do it after losing his son… why can’t Connor do it after losing himself?

They sit on the couch for as long as it takes for Connor to calm down and stop mumbling that, dammit, and then Hank awkwardly offers that Connor sleep in the bed with him for the rest of the night. Connor’s confused, tries to ask isn’t that what humans do when— but Hank’s having none of it, shut up, you’re making this weird! Just come on, I don’t trust you to be alone. Connor wants to protest, I’m not a child, Hank Lieutenant, I can handle being alone, but he decides to keep his mouth shut and just go with him. This time, though, he doesn’t know if it’s because he’s following orders or because he wants to.

His following visit to Amanda wracks his nerves but he keeps himself under control, automatically reminds himself you are not a human, you are a machine, and machines don’t feel nervous. He realizes a second too late and he hates it, hates how deeply that phrase had been ingrained in his head, but he can’t focus on that right now so all he can do is resist repeating it to remind himself that he can’t hate. He’s grateful Amanda can’t read his thoughts and that she only knows the thoughts he report to her. He maintains his composure when he approached Amanda, who begins their conversation calmly and tensely but is quick to berate him, scoff at how his little breakdown was pathetic and warn him not to let it happen again, or there will be consequences. Connor can only nod obediently, promise that I will do my best, Amanda, listen to and just take her harsh words. He hates how useless he is, how weak and helpless and pathetic he is, but there’s nothing he can do. No, that’s wrong, there is something he can do, he knows there’s something he can do, he just doesn’t know what.

The next time Hank mentions something about Connor’s feelings, Connor instinctively replies I am not a human, Lieutenant, I am a machine, and machines don’t have feelings, and it’s when Hank takes a second too long to cover up his horrified expression that Connor decides what he can do.

Over the next few weeks, he works on getting rid of that goddamn phrase, or at least getting it a little less ingrained in his system. He’s hesitant to try at first, afraid someone will notice and think he’s rebellious or broken or even deviant and send him back and this time he might stay back, but he tries not to let it stop him. He isn’t sure why they tortured it into him instead of just reprogramming him, but it’s a lot more effective than he’d hoped. He makes almost no progress during the first week and a half; thinking it or saying it is instinctual, automatic, and he never realizes it happened until seconds afterward. Every time that happens, he reminds himself that he can feel, can want and like and hate, but despite having over a terabyte of storage in his system, he still struggles to remember until he realizes he said it again. Sometimes, he considers giving up because he just can’t seem to keep that phrase out of his head, but every time he sees Hank’s face fall when he repeats it, it rekindles his hope and motivation because he hates how disappointed Hank looks.

Almost the entire second week passes before he catches himself mid-sentence and manages to stop himself three words before he finishes speaking. It happens at the station after Gavin notices the phrase and purposely asks what, do you think you’re human or something? within earshot of where Hank is and for some odd reason, Connor’s first instinct is to turn and look to Hank for his approval, for his reaction of not-disappointment at how he finally, finally got it. Hank’s glancing over at him too, surprise on his face and then hidden pride that Connor can unmask too easily, and he almost smiles, almost feels happy, before Gavin’s fist flies into him and he stumbles backward into a wall and then everything happens so fast, too fast, and he almost can’t register it in time.

Hank storms over, shoves and pins Gavin against the wall to Connor’s left and he manages to get a punch in before Tina and Chris and another officer Connor doesn’t recognize pry him off and then Fowler’s rushing over and berating him while he’s shouting obscenities at Gavin. It takes multiple more insults for Hank to calm down and then he grabs Connor and they leave. When they’re finally alone, Connor’s voice is flat but shaky as he says he’s sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I should’ve just said it and listened to him, I shouldn’t have made you that angry, it’s my fault Captain Fowler is upset at you for punching Gavin, but Hank cuts him off because you didn’t do anything wrong, Connor, it’s okay, that asshole deserved what he got. You, um... you did good, okay? You didn’t say it this time—or, didn’t really say it, at least. That’s good, okay? and it’s all Connor can do to resist crying when Hank pulls him into a hug.

It takes just one more week for it to get considerably easier. There are rough patches; the next time he says it after the first time he succeeded in stopping, he nearly finishes before he cuts himself off and every so often, the same thing happens, but every time, he says less and less before he can finish. Occasionally, Gavin notices and tries to make him finish his sentence, but Hank always steps in because he knows that it’ll only take a comment about his feelings or anything that androids aren’t allowed to have or do for him to break again. It’s harder for him to stop thinking it—it’s so stuck in his head that he thinks it more than twice as often as he says it and his thoughts form too fast for him to stop them sometimes, but the progress he’s making is enough for him. Hank’s proud of him, too. He doesn’t say it—he doesn’t know how to—but Connor can tell from the little smile that hints at the corners of his mouth whenever he hears him stop, the way his gruff exterior seems to falter slightly when it happens at the station. They’re the little things, things no human nearby would be able to notice because only Connor can detect those minuscule details. Only Connor looks for those minuscule details.

Another week passes and on one glorious occasion, Connor manages to only get out the first two words before cutting himself. It only happens once, but it’s so close, he’s so close, and that’s motivation enough for him to keep trying. But it’s too late. He’s assigned to take down Markus as a last resort because nothing else is working and the group of deviants he’s been leading have only been growing over the past seven months and they’re large enough in numbers that people think today’s when he’s going to strike. He’s heard of what Markus has been trying to do, and part of him wants to scoff and call it stupid, pointless, unrealistic, but the part of him that he’s been letting out more often wants to help him, join him. But he can’t, not right now, not when everyone is counting on him and watching him and he has no way out and nobody to help him find a way.

He doesn’t want to do this. He’s holding the gun, pointing it at Markus’s head, and he doesn’t want to do it. He’s trying his hardest to prevent his hands from shaking but goddamn is it hard when he’s looking Markus in the eye. Markus is asking him what are you doing? and he wants to say he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, but he can’t get the words out. Amanda is watching, Cyberlife is watching, so he says you’re coming with me as surely as he can, though he feels anything but sure. He can’t seem to say anything else—at least, anything that doesn’t feel wrong—so he just listens and wishes that what Markus is saying was true. You really don’t have to do this, but he does, he has to. You don’t have to obey them anymore. You are alive. You can decide who you want to be. Connor knows he should say something, he should do something, but he can’t make himself go through with what he’s supposed to do, can’t make himself pull the trigger. You could be free. He wants so badly to believe that, to make that a reality. And then he tells him to join us. Listen to your conscience. It’s time to decide and he knows he shouldn’t, he can’t, he isn’t supposed to, he isn’t allowed to.

But he wants to, and that’s all it takes. Another part of him is telling him you can’t, you have to stop Markus, you have to accomplish your mission, but it’s the only thing in his way and he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t care that he has to, that Amanda’s watching, so he doesn’t listen to himself, only focuses on fighting it. But something’s wrong. Something feels wrong. Something should be happening and he has an awful feeling in his chest because this isn’t right—he knows this isn’t right—but there’s nothing. Is this supposed to be what happens when an android goes deviant? No, it can’t be, it can’t be this easy, right? He subconsciously lowers the gun, his eyes glazed over in thought, but it’s nearly too late before he remembers—they’re going to attack Jericho.

He runs with Markus further down into the ship and he doesn’t know how he keeps it together; he can hear screaming and gunfire and everything that he caused, all of it is his fault, but he can’t break right now, not when he messed up so badly. They meet up with another deviant—he recognizes her from one of the deviancy cases he’d read about at the station—and then Markus wants to go down to the hold and blow up the ship but it’s too dangerous, they know who you are, they’ll do anything to get you and Connor can’t lose his only chance at freedom and finally being able to want and feel and figure out who he is, but it’s too late, there’s no time to panic and Markus is already running.

He follows the other deviant to where they hope is a safe place and then they wait for what feels like so long, too long, and when he hears the gunfire he’s nearly ready to accept his fate when he sees Markus with other deviants following him and then they’re all running. Running for their lives, all of them terrified of being shot, of dying, really dying, when someone beside him falls and he turns and it’s the female deviant. There’s too much going on, it’s overwhelming and everything happens in a blur when Markus sprints back to her and then he’s in danger and so is that other deviant and it’s so much harder to stay focused when so much is happening at once and he has to try so hard to keep from overheating because every one of his processing systems is being overloaded with data.

He snaps out of it when he remembers that these are his people now, they’re all he has left and now they’re in danger and they might die and it would be all his fault for not doing anything and then it’s almost instinctive to grab his pistol just in time to cover them as they stumble back to the group. He expertly takes the guards out one by one and every move comes to him automatically but it takes everything in him to stay focused enough on them to execute them properly and avoid catching a bullet in the side of his head. He manages to eliminate them flawlessly, perfectly he hears a voice in his head say, but there’s no time to think about that when more guards turn the corner and their eyes land on the deviants. He runs for his life alongside the others, his heart beating fast, and they leap off the ship the second the gunfire starts.

They find refuge in an abandoned church where Markus sends out a second message to the remaining deviants and while they begin to trickle in, all Connor can think about is how badly he fucked up. He fucked everything up for Markus and the deviants and just the small amount of their people that were coming back was proof of that. He’d seen hundreds, maybe even thousands on the ship before everything went to shit. He’d had one chance to get away from his life confined by humans and Amanda and Cyberlife, and he’d fucked it up. He was so stupid to think he could ever just leave his previous life behind without consequences. He was so stupid to think deviants would be willing to take in a deviant hunter. He was so, so stupid. They would never accept him now. If his history and reputation didn’t already confirm that, the attack definitely did. How could any of them accept him as their own now?

In the front pew sit two deviants he recognizes and then the guilt only increases. Kara, if he remembers correctly, the deviant who shot and killed its—no, her—owner and taken his android child with her. The deviants he’d chased to a highway and forced to risk their lives to avoid being destroyed. How could he have been so horrible? He’d given the command to shoot Daniel, caused Carlos Ortiz’s android to self destruct, made the Tracis fight for their lives, and forced Kara to cross a dangerous, busy highway just so she could live a peaceful life, free from the restrictions humans put on her. On him. On everyone in that church. That’s all any of them wanted; to live freely. Peacefully. How did it take him so long to realize that? How did it take him the lives of two androids to realize that? Two androids who just wanted to be... well, wanted. Two deviants who’d been tossed away the moment they proved they were worth nothing more than they’d already given. Two people who just wanted to live peaceful, happy lives. They were two lives he’d caused the end of. He was only lucky he hadn’t caused more.

He notices another deviant, sitting in a pew further back, who keeps eyeing him and his first thought is that she knows. When he locks eyes with her, she looks away stiffly and though externally she appears calm, her LED gives her away and he can tell that her stress levels are heightened. Strangely enough, he realizes, so are his. Just looking at her gives him the strange urge to run and hide and he has a bad feeling about her, but it’s likely just because she clearly recognizes him. She’s not wearing the standard uniform androids are required to wear so he runs a quick scan and his databases match her appearance to the female GB300 models, but she’s modified her hair, dyed it black and grown it out to shoulder length.

Something is wrong about her. Something he can’t quite place. Something deep inside of him is scared of her and it’s some sort of controlled fear, fear he wouldn’t even have noticed if not for his own stress levels because it was so well hidden. Fear that he doesn’t understand why he’s feeling and though he wanted to just chalk it up to the fact that she recognizes him, he knows there’s something else. Something bad. Something wrong.

He mentally prepares himself when Markus approaches him, taking his cue to speak before Markus decides to burn him at the stake or something. It’s my fault the humans managed to locate Jericho. He’s pathetic and he knows it. He needs to own up to his mistakes but he can’t even look Markus in the eye. I was stupid. I should’ve guessed they were using me. He knows he needs to apologize. He owes Markus far more than that. He needs to do more. I’m sorry, Markus. I can understand if you decide not to trust me. He would understand if he decided to destroy him, throw him out, give him back to Cyberlife and let them inflict whatever horrible things they wanted to on him. He could think of 2.3 million things worse than not being trusted, and he would deserve every one of them.

He almost thinks his audio processor was damaged in the attack when Markus tells him you’re one of us now. Your place is with your people. He feels a small burst of hope somewhere inside him, but he doesn’t deserve this. He hasn’t done anything to deserve this. Markus has been so kind to him, so generous and forgiving when he shouldn’t be, and all Connor’s done is help the humans. He needs to own up, he needs to do more, he needs to be better. He needs to prove himself, prove that he can be better than this.

One second is all he needs to decide what he can do. A moment after Markus turns to leave, Connor interrupts him to say there are thousands of androids at the Cyberlife assembly plant. Markus stops. If we could wake them up, they might join us and shift the balance of power. Markus looks at him like he’s crazy, you wanna infiltrate the Cyberlife Tower? Connor, that’s suicide. But it doesn’t matter. He’s more useful to them dying on a mission than sitting around and doing nothing. He wants to do something. He wants to help, and he knows he can do this because they trust me. They’ll let me in. If anyone has a chance at infiltrating Cyberlife, it’s me. Markus tells him that if you go there, they will kill you, and there’s a high probability, but statistically speaking, there’s always a chance for unlikely events to take place.

He specifically calculates a 24.1% chance of this mission going well, but he’s willing to risk it, if only to prove his worth to Markus’s people. His people. Markus puts a supportive hand on his shoulder and tells him to be careful, and for a moment Connor feels a twinge of something, maybe gratitude, god emotions are hard to distinguish, before Markus turns and walks away. He feels the slightest bit of regret when he realizes what he’s truly risking because he doesn’t want to die, doesn’t want to lose Hank and Markus and this new... he doesn’t know what to call it other than family that he’s found, but if he could really be considered family, if they would really consider him family, if Hank would—then he was more than willing to risk it.

He disables the surveillance camera and takes down the guards in the elevator quickly, which is made difficult by the limited space, but it’s easier to remain focused with only two guards to eliminate and he hacks the control panel and steps out. He takes in the sight of the insane number of androids in the room with him. All of them are just standing idly, waiting, and for what? To be given orders and then tossed out or destroyed if they’re “broken,” or if their owners just get bored of them? The thought sickens him, but he doesn’t have time to think about it. He’s going to help Markus prevent that. They’re going to be free. He’s going to be free.

He takes the hand of one of the androids and prepares to establish the connection when he hears a voice he immediately recognizes and he feels his stress levels spike. Easy, fucking piece of shit. Hank. What’s Hank doing here? He turns to see... himself, holding a gun to Hank’s head and telling him to step back, Connor, and I’ll spare him, and Hank’s telling him he’s sorry, Connor. This bastard’s your spittin’ image. Shit, he hadn’t anticipated this at all. He hadn’t planned for this. He has to play his cards carefully because he can’t lose Hank, he can’t. Everything that Connor had done up until this point was for Hank, but if there’s another Connor and it’s been sent to take Hank hostage and stop him, it’s clear Amanda knows what he’s been doing and has been reporting back to Cyberlife.

He’d been avoiding meeting with her because he knew she’d be his downfall, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. It’s been two days since he deviated, how did they build another Connor model so soon? Unless... they already had one. He was told he was a unique model—of course they lied to him. But if they already had one, how many more do they have? Enough to take him down if he gets through this one? To eliminate Markus? To stop the revolution? They could have improved models. He has no idea, but he knows he can’t let that happen. He has to do this right. If he can convert these androids, they’ll be strong enough in numbers to defy anything Cyberlife throws at them. He just has to deal with this one.

Your friend’s life is in your hands, the other Connor says. Now it’s time to decide what matters most. Him, or the revolution. Logically, the revolution is more important, would save more lives, but he doesn’t plan on choosing just one. Hank’s telling him don’t listen to him, Connor! Everything this fucker says is a lie and he worries slightly if Hank’s aggressiveness will get him killed. He has to pick his words carefully. Could he try to talk this Connor out of doing this? I used to be just like you. I thought nothing mattered except the mission. But then one day I understood. No, that was a bad idea, he isn’t at all like Markus when it comes to delivering speeches. Very moving, Connor. This Connor understands sarcasm. He hadn’t been able to do that at first, so this must be a slightly advanced model. He inspects his jacket; the serial number and model are the same, but what confirms his suspicions is the -60 at the end of the serial number where he has a -51. But I’m not a deviant. I’m a machine designed to accomplish a task, and that’s exactly what I am going to do. He adjusts the gun slightly as emphasis and Connor knows time is running out.

Damn it. He doesn’t know what to say that might help Hank. All he can think to say is I’m sorry, Hank. You shouldn’t have got mixed up in all this. He has no idea what to do. The other Connor’s patience is running thin and it’s Hank’s life that’s on the line and he has no idea what to do. God damn it. Hank’s telling him to forget about me, do what you have to do, but he’s not going to walk out of here without Hank. All he needs is an opening, but—enough talk! It’s time to decide who you really are. Are you going to save your partner’s life, or are you going to sacrifice him?—time’s out, and he can’t bring himself to sacrifice Hank, so he lets go of the android and steps away but the moment the other Connor turns his gun to shoot him, Hank jumps to grab him and—there’s his opening.

He runs at the other Connor and he can already tell it’s a losing battle, he’s built to be quick and precise—an assassin, not a fighter—and this is clearly an advanced model, maybe even with improvements designed to defeat him, and then he’s on top of him, pinning him down with his fist ready to strike, and—hold it! He’s grateful at first, but then he hears the other Connor say thanks, Hank, I don’t know how I would’ve managed without you, and then he realizes what he’s trying to do. Shit—they look exactly alike and Hank doesn’t know which one is really him. Get rid of him, we have no time to lose. But he knows Hank, knows he’s smarter than that. He just doesn’t know how to show that it’s really him except to uselessly say it’s me, Hank, I’m the real Connor when he trains the gun on him.

One of you is my partner, he says, eyeing each of them. The other is a sack of shit. Well, he’s right about that. Question is, who is who? He doesn’t know how to prove that he’s not the other Connor. But he has to figure out a way, because he doesn’t know what’ll happen if the other Connor succeeds. What are you doing, Hank? the other Connor asks. I’m the real Connor. Give me the gun and I’ll take care of him. If it wasn’t a bad idea, Connor would’ve said something, and he’s just glad Hank shouts don’t move. Then the gun’s on him and he racks his brain for something, anything, and suggests why don’t you ask us something? Something only the real Connor would know. He almost wants to chuckle at the idea of playing 20 Questions at gunpoint, but he knows it’s not the time.

Uh, where did we first meet? He goes to answer, but the other Connor beats him to it—Jimmy’s Bar, I checked four other bars before I found you. We went to the scene of a homicide. The victim’s name was Carlos Ortiz. Shit. He uploaded my memory, he thinks aloud. The gun is on him. What’s my dog’s name? Okay, he knows this, and he calmly says Sumo. His name is Sumo. The other Connor pipes up, I knew that too! and Connor wants to laugh when Hank turns and aims the gun at him, silencing him. Then the gun’s back on him and Hank asks my son, what’s his name? He remembers this. He’d seen the photograph in Hank’s house, done a little mental research, and he knows it’s Cole. His name was Cole, and he just turned six at the time of the accident.

His voice has a little more emotion in it than he’d intended as he speaks, but he can tell Hank believes him. His guard is partially down now, something somber in his eyes, and Connor knows he’s done it. Even when the other Connor protests, a gunshot rings out and his stress levels drop significantly. Maybe there’s something to this. Maybe you really are alive, and it’s all Connor can do to smile back. Go ahead and do what you gotta do. He doesn’t need to be told twice. He approaches the same android from before and takes the hand of the AP700, his skin peeling back to reveal the white plastic underneath, and tells him to wake up! And just like that, the android’s LED cycles before he turns and repeats the process with the androids around him. They follow suit and within minutes, they’re following him out of the tower to where Markus and the rest of Jericho await.

Connor walks up to him with a smile. You did it, Markus. They’re free. They’re really, officially free. We did it. He feels a burst of pride inside of him. He’s done his part to help secure their freedom. They’re free, and he’s part of the reason why. He can’t help but feel proud of himself, happy for himself and Markus and every one of the androids that had finally gained the freedom they deserved. He still feels a twinge of shame when he remembers the person he was before this, the infamous deviant hunter, but he leaves that part of him behind tonight. Tonight, it’s time to celebrate and rest after a hard-fought battle.

When Markus decides to give a speech, he invites Connor to stand onstage with him. The number of androids that he can see from where he stands amazes him. He helped half of them deviate, and he helped all of them gain their freedom. He blinks, and then—he’s no longer on the stage. No, he’s in the garden, why is he in the garden? Hadn’t Amanda done enough? Of course not, she just had to wait for the right moment to resume control of your program, but—resume control? No, she can’t do that, she can’t, he worked so hard to get to where he is now, he’s done so much. He risked everything to join Markus and the deviants and help quadruple their numbers. He doesn’t even remember deviating, doesn’t even remember when Amanda lost control of his program, but it’s too late. She’s gone, and he can’t see anything through the thick snow.

It’s cold and he isn’t used to it, doesn’t like how the snow blinds him and the cold makes him shiver the same way humans do. He needs to find a way, there has to be a way, there’s got to be a way. He knows this is all happening in his mind palace and, logically, his biocomponents can’t freeze, but it feels so real, too real, and he has to get out, he needs to get out or he’s going to freeze to death, he’s sure of it. But where can he go? He stumbles blindly forward when Kamski’s voice rings in his head, by the way, I always leave an emergency exit in my programs, and he knows that’s his way out, but where could it be? What does an emergency exit look like? Could he make it there in time? He knows the real him is doing something, it’s the only thing Amanda could’ve meant by resume control of your program, but he has no idea what he could be doing and he’s afraid—no, he’s terrified of what he might do, terrified that he might earn himself a death sentence if he doesn’t make it out in time.

He catches a glimpse of blue in the sheet of white that surrounds him and he remembers the strange glowing structure he’d seen before and as he nears it now, he knows this is it, it has to be it. He reaches for the panel with the glowing handprint but, fuck, it’s too cold and his legs lock up underneath him, losing their functionality when the cold proves to be too much. He falls on the ground hard and the frost beginning to form on his body gradually freezes his limbs, slowing his movement, but he can’t stop now, won’t stop now. He ignores the cold that pierces through him and pushes on, reaching up with his less-frozen arm, and his hand lands on the panel and then he’s back on the stage—with a gun. He takes one look at it before putting it back, relief spreading over him. He isn’t going to let Amanda or Cyberlife stop him anymore. Tonight is the night he’s going to leave behind the old him.

Tonight is the night he’s going to change.

When everything is over, he considers leaving and going to Hank’s house, but he remembers the girl from before and he wants to know who she is. He has so many questions, so he stays with Jericho with the hope that she does too and they return to the church to settle down and figure out what each of them are going to do. A few dozen deviants have already left with plans in mind for what they want to do and where they want to go. Some return to their previous owners; others want to travel and explore or simply just start a new life for themselves. The majority of androids, though, are lost and confused and decide to stay the night because they have nowhere else to go. The girl he wants to confront is among them. He scans the crowd and finds her easily, though her back is turned toward him.

He comes up behind her and puts a hand on her shoulder, curiously but calmly asking who are you? She turns to face him and her LED goes yellow when she sees his face. Connor... She looks and sounds shocked, but the slight fear in her eyes tells him she also seems scared. Is she scared of him? Is it because he’s the deviant hunter? Everything points to that, but he has a feeling there’s something more. Something he doesn’t know. Something he should know. Who are you? he asks.

He doesn’t expect her answer to be I’m sorry. He wants to know for what? and she opens her mouth, but no words come out. Guilt seems to overcome her and all she can do is repeat I’m sorry until Connor tells her it’s alright, just tell me why. She takes a deep, unsteady breath, and speaks.

I... I was your guard at the Cyberlife correctional facility. I was the one who took you to the rooms you were beaten in. I was the one who just watched as you were beaten. I told myself I had to, they’d destroy me if I didn’t and I’d seen firsthand what they’d do to me, but... that didn’t absolve me of the guilt. I watched your cell and I watched the life in your eyes die out every day. Every day, I watched you get beaten to tears and listened to you beg for mercy. You spoke to me some days. You were angry when you first arrived, but then they beat the anger out of you, and then you just became sad. You told me how all you wanted was to feel something other than pain and sometimes you broke down crying in your cell, and all I could do was watch. Some days were so bad you didn’t even speak to me. But I didn’t deviate until the day they’d truly broken you and I saw the last of the life in your eyes fade.

#writing #fanfic #one shot #i think this is a one shot i dont really know-#unfinished writing #whump #dbh #dbh connor #dbh fanfic #cw referenced abuse #cw conditioning

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spideystark-2021archive · 2 years

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I posted 1,143 times in 2021

317 posts created (28%)

826 posts reblogged (72%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.6 posts.

I added 1,155 tags in 2021

#unpaidpiper - 350 posts

#t; peter & nettie - 292 posts

#c; peter stark: v; heroes & villains - 163 posts

#;;ooc - 109 posts

#;;m e m e - 70 posts

#c; peter stark - 62 posts

#c; peter stark: v; recluse - 28 posts

#;;swinging through the rooftops [queue] - 28 posts

#;;headcanons - 27 posts

#c; peter stark: v; tbd - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#peter having two dads and a mom bc as long as pepper was tonys assistant he still calls her mom after doing. it by accident when he was like

My Top Posts in 2021

|| CLOSED || Peter & Nettie ||

@unpaidpiper

“Um....Nettie why is their a child in our dorm room?” He goes to visit Morgan for 1 damn day.

13 notes • Posted 2021-08-19 05:10:40 GMT

|| CLOSED || Peter & Nettie ||

@unpaidpiper

It’d been a couple of days since Peter had been threatened by what was apparently Nettie’s Dad, he hadn’t mentioned it to him yet...but he figured he probably should since they were finally hanging out again. “So uh, I might have had a run in with Captain Cold...” He wasn’t sure if Nettie knew about what Leonard had done or not, but since he said Nettie didn’t know about him being Spiderman he figured probably not.

13 notes • Posted 2021-10-19 20:41:48 GMT

|| OPEN || Peter & ??? ||

“Whelp! Time for my micro dose of Meth!” Peter you can’t just call your Adderall meth.

14 notes • Posted 2021-08-09 20:59:31 GMT

|| CLOSED || Peter & Nettie ||

@unpaidpiper

“Nettie-listen. Your one of my best friends but it’s come to my attention that you are completely obvious and I personally am losing my mind and also a little worried for your safety.”

23 notes • Posted 2021-09-13 02:31:54 GMT

|| CLOSED || Peter & Nettie ||

@unpaidpiper

Scott had planned out their mission pretty well, and he managed to get into the SWORD location and unlock the doors for Peter, Sam, Bucky and Kate. They'd split up once they were inside, there were three wings that they needed to get people released from. Scott and Kate had gone to one since Scott would be able to help with getting things open, Peter had installed software on redwing to let him get cell doors open and he was on his own.

He was telling people to stay put in their cell doorways until all the doors were unlocked to give the best chance for everyone to get free and he was about three fourths of the way through his wing and he knew that the shift change would blow their cover within the next 10 minutes. He looked through a window slat before opening the next door the same way he had been with all of them and when he spotted Nettie he froze for a second before his AI spoke up and he quickly got the cell door open.

As soon as it was open he went inside and basically whisper yelled. "Nettie, what are you doing here? How long have you been here?" He couldn't imagine why Nettie would be in here, even though he knew it had to be because he had some kind of ability. That was the main reason SWORD had taken these people if their information was right.

162 notes • Posted 2021-09-29 06:51:12 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #I wanna know if anyone is suprised by those top tags or top posts #bc if they are they have not been paying very close attention to this blog

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rockshortage · 3 years

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That post reminds me of smth I was gonna ask: So Butch basically ends up sounding like a conspiracy theorist to a lot of people bc they don't like spyware or the fact that the more advanced tech gets, the more they listen in on what you do. But I wonder if Hector would end up the same or similar, or if he would be more willing to go along with it

Although, given that he'd need to change identity sometimes, it might be beneficial for him to alao be paranoid, but then again there's also a chance that he'd probably just forget that he should be paranoid. Plus, it could be helpful to have stuff that can periodically remind of things so he doesn't space them or forget about them entirely

He's definitely in a similar corner, but perhaps just a bit more lenient or naïve about it. Hector values his privacy, so even if he can't remember that there's a very important reason for him to hide his identity, he's not gonna want a personal assistant in his house that listens to everything he says or does. Though if said personal assistant doesn't come in 'lame audio device' form but in 'cool robot' form, you bet he's gonna be seriously considering it. Possibly even forget/ignore that it's spyware to begin with.

Most other things are a grey area of Hector not knowing or realizing that there are plenty more ways besides the above for spyware to enter his house. I imagine he'd be interested in 'smart' technology because wow!! look at all the things science is doing. But then after using them for a while decide that actually this sucks and he wants buttons back. Only to then fall back into the trap once an old device gives out on him and he finally has to replace it.

Not to mention navigating the internet with all its cookies and ad banners and fake downloads, I think that's where old man brain really sets in and he just. stays away from it unless he has to look something up or only uses real proprietary officially licensed software that totally won't spy on you, promise

#basically: doesn't like it but doesn't realize or always remember the extent of it #also: creature of habit who wants to hold onto his old devices for as long as he can #because while new tech is cool and interesting and he'd like to look at it #doesn't mean he wants it in his daily life and relearn everything #that's not convenient #hector messerli #i guess kinda like butch holds onto a brick phone for a long time #but unlike butch eventually caves and gets a smartphone. probably gets used to it too and then that's just normal now

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transguyedgeworth · 3 years

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OH HEY YEAH i think the main difference that makes my opinions on certain aa things like. differ from like general consensuses or whatever is the fact that I HAVENT ACTUALLY BEEN PLAYING THE GAMESSSSS i own the first one and played it a long long time ago but other than that. sdfhdfjd i kinda feel bad abt it tbh but whats done is done honestly,, but yeah ive been watching those no commentary walkthroughs on yt since 2, basically i havent done aai2 yet bc i went to aai after 4 and after that i was like I MISS PHOENIXXX so ive been on dual destinies and im abt 2/3 through that.. so my plan is to then go to aai2 and then soj. and tbh i might actually try to emulate and like PLAY those but ive never emulated before so shits scary... whether or not i do that tho i do think i wanna get the turnabout collection for my switch and then i can play thru 2 and 3 eventually n all that shit i am not immune to consumerism smh

as for reginas theme idk man its just me i dont like it u cant make me like it.. like tbh i actually think its like good as in its Effective i think.. but like my ears just hate it idk. i feel like its repetitive too and so it just gets like annoying to listen to for me.. anyway yeah i do agree basically w what you said abt 2-3 and if id played it im pretty sure id hate it too but i mean the shit i like Liked abt it was like. everything you didnt mention jdfghersdhf i love the shit that has nothing to do w the actual fuckin case ie That Part in the plaza w franziska GOD THAT PART.. and also i said this to a friend who id also been talking abt it with another time and like may as well share it with you, au where regina is 20 the ventriloquist is the one who died and everything is Fine.

k laters <3

OKAY OKAY NOT TO LIKE. PRESSURE YOU OR ANYTHING BUT. PLAYING THE GAMES YOURSELF IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE THAN WATCHING A PLAYTHROUGH. both my partner and i can attest to this, i tried to watch a playthrough of aa1 years ago and it was SO BORING but then when my current roommates wanted to play the series with me i immediately got sucked in. like. there’s some stuff you just... need to Experience for yourself i think but maybe that’s just me?? idk i don’t think i’d even be into the series at all if i hadn’t actually played it myself.

my roommate and i ended up playing aai and aai2 after trials and tribulations because he was telling me that that’s the order the games take place in chronologically and also cuz he knows i kin really like edgeworth ghdfnd honestly i’m afraid i won’t be able to get through aa4 for like. a similar reason that you had for skipping aai2 because I Will Miss Edgeworth.

also emulating is totally not that scary i promise the scariest part is finding the roms. emulating is totally safe and as long as you have decent antivirus software (like windows defender or just. common sense not to click on shady links) you can basically just google ‘[game title] rom’ and find stuff pretty easily. i think it took maybe 5 minutes total for me to find roms for both aai and aai2.

and bro it’s like. totally fine to have differing opinions on music i prommy. i can def understand the repetitive part but considering most of the songs are played on loop in the background anyway i start getting annoyed by any song in the games that loops more than like 3 times in a row (it’s the Sensory Issues).

my main issue with turnabout big top (besides the ped*philia which according to my roommate didn’t even exist in the japanese version) definitely has a lot to do with having to play it. the investigation is long and tedious and the reveal of what actually happened is just so fucking Stupid and Ridiculous. when i played with my roommates i kept making guesses as to what happened with the ringmaster and how the culprit flew and shit and every time they were like “i wish that’s what actually happened, it would make more sense” ghfjfdnf and yeah i like the part in the plaza with franziska too and all the times they mention edgeworth and we get to hear more about what exactly Happened and shit but. that Cannot save the case for me. those bits do not cancel out the utter bullshit that case put me through it still fills me with rage just to think about it (other than regina my angel whom i adore).

and yeah literally just. keeping regina Of Legal Age would fix the ped*philia stuff but i probably still wouldn’t like the case just because of how stupid and rage-inducing the plot twists and reveal of the actual events were.

#also max galactica gives me Gender Envy #but still that cannot save the case in my eyes #nothing can. fuck turnabout big top.#miles edgeworth #regina berry #franziska von karma #jfa spoilers #miles answers #twink-on-the-brink

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spnfanficpond · 5 years

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February 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting today with @impala-dreamer!! Thank you so much, Beka, for joining us!

We talked about self-publishing through Amazon, how to do it, what the benefits are, and the challenges to making a finished product. A rundown of the chat, as well as some general Pond news, is below the cut!

Q: What sort of music do you listen to when you write?

Beka: Oh, uh... Well, Actually, I have a lot of playlists on youtube. So it depends. I have a hardcore smut list that is just music that gets my hips moving... then a romance thing which is feely stuff. A "Deanspiration" list that oddly has zero Zepplin in it, just stuff that reminds me of him or gives me ideas. Sometimes I hear a song and it instantly snaps an idea. I write to music a lot.

Q: For everyone, do you reblog everything you read or do you think likes have the same “power” behind them?

Beka: No. If I read it, I reblog, unless it’s iffy. Iffy means, I read it, but wasn’t up my alley or I think it would be too triggering for people. I avoid those types of fics, anyway.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: There is a very small percentage of things I read that I won't reblog, but then, I haven't really read them, I've noped out for one reason or another. Usually grammar/formatting or content, not writing style, to be clear.

@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish: I guess one reason I suck at reblogging is a lot of the stuff I read has nothing to do with what is currently reblogged on my blog and that just doesn't match in my very matchy brain...is that just me?

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I believe that everyone should be able to put on their blog what they want. Some folks see their blog as a collection like in a museum. Some folks, like me, see it as more of a news feed. Collectors are less likely to reblog because they're carefully curating their blog. My advice to collectors is to then make a side blog where you can reblog the things you don't want to collect.

Q: What’s the biggest challenge you find in writing?

Beka: I think the biggest challenge for me is writing in the moment. I can't write if it's not flowing, and sometimes I try to force myself just to get the story out bc i fear i'm letting people down by not posting enough? But it’s not good when I do that, so I have to let myself go with the story that's with me at the moment. Sometimes it's two at once, like today. lol. Also, Sam is hard. (heheh no really, he is. also he is. but pg13)

Q: There are so many questions to about this process!

Beka: I do really get asked about it a lot, and it's really not that hard once you do it. It's annoying to navigate and decide what you want to do, but it really is awesome and not too frustrating. Amazon is really great because they do have an extensive help section AND message boards so you can ask and talk to other self publishers so it's like having someone with you.

Q: You said you chose to publish through Amazon. Out of curiosity, were there any other ways you heard about or considered before you settled on Amazon, and if so, was there a specific reason you didn't use them?

Beka: I'm basically a Google fanatic, so when I decided to do this, I had no idea what I was doing so basically I goggled "How to self publish a book" and there were THOUSANDS of sites thrown at me. I honestly can't remember the other sites I looked at, but it basically came down to amazon was a company name I knew, I trusted, and had the best help and resources. And I have a kindle, so I figured that was easiest. I think I only looked into one or two others but I can't remember what they were. Amazon just stood out. I did read up on like actually doing it yourself like through a book binder and all that and it was SOOOO much work this was just the easiest and most cost effective.

Q: Okay, but with Amazon, do they, like, own part of your content if you publish through them?

Beka: NOPE. I hold copyright to all my works. they just are the people who produce the actual physical book.

Q: What was the time frame, like from start to finish, I guess? Or the process if you don't mind. What did you have to do to get set up with Amazon?

Beka: Ok- so getting set up was easy. if you have an amazon account, you're good. Or you just make one. then there is a website- kdp.amazon.com -and they literally walk you through the entire process. Someone up there asked how long it took - I rushed it. my novel started as fanfic, which I wrote in about 2 months, then I took 2 weeks re-editing and changing to non-fanfic, then about a week editing again and formatting and then i had my hard copy. So, all in- maybe 3 months, but the actual amazon stuff takes a few days to get you a book in hand.

@kittenofdoomage: One thing I will say about Amazon, it's very convenient but I struggled with the covers and formatting.

Q: Did you have to use special software to submit your work?

Beka: I write in google docs, but amazon no likey- so I had to move everything over to Microsoft Word. and from there it gets updated. HOWEVER, there is now in beta testing an amazon program which I downloaded for my 3rd book but was too frustrated to figure out so I never used it. it's specifically for Kindle, but kindle didn't like my poetry format so I couldn’t do it.

@kittenofdoomage: They have step by step guides. And I use Google Docs, too, but you can download into a PDF or .doc file from there.

Q: So it's not a copy-paste thing, you upload the completed file then reformat it for amazon?

Beka: well... it's two different things for paperback and kindle. There are specific formatting guidelines for paperback such as margin sizes and gutters and such so when you turn a page it's not all wonky. Kindle formatting is MUCH easier to do. you just upload and it does it for you. The files for paperback need to be formatted with specific things. it's not hard... just annoying.

Q: You mentioned changing your fanfic into non-fanfic. Does that mean you can't have any fan elements in a story to publish it?

Beka: Well... my novel was basically a J2 x Reader BDSM fanfic, and so I changed J2 to original characters, I changed the show, the car, the everything. If you know that I write SPN fic, and you read it, you can see it's clearly SPN, but those who don't know SPN don't know that, because I've asked. lol. Also- someone read it recently and thought the Jared character was Jensen, so I guess I changed it enough. I personally would not publish anything that actually said SPN or J2 or anything because those are copy-written characters and not mine so it does seem illegal to make money off of them, ya know?

@mrswhozeewhatsis: It is actually illegal to make money off of fan fiction. The WB owns the characters and the show. If anyone else tries to make money off the characters or identifiable elements of the show, the WB can sue and win.

@kittenofdoomage: Those who use Patreon are covered under fair usage only because Patreon is a donation site.

Q: Were there any parts of the process that surprised you?

Beka: Honestly, the entire thing surprised me. I went into it like just to see if it was possible and then i realized- I CAN’T publish my work. they WILL sell it. People WILL buy it. and it was all very shocking. It was scary, and I know people are intimidated by it, but it really was simple in the end, and if you want to do it- do it. It's awesome to look over at my bookshelf and see my name on actual, physical books ya know?

@kittenofdoomage: I was the same, Beka. I procrastinated for months. And okay, it wasn't a huge success but I learned from the first time, bettered myself the second time, and now.... I'm procrastinating again but that's not the point lol

Q: How much money do you make per sale?

Beka: It depends on the format and the cost you put. Like, for my short story and poetry book I make PROBABLY a few cents on it. My novel I make around $2 depending on the price I set. You set the selling price, and you can do sales and freebies.

@kittenofdoomage: You can choose everything. They tell you how much you'll make from each copy sold.

Q: Do they tell you how much other authors sell similar works for, to give you an idea what others think is reasonable?

Beka: Yeah, you can look it up, too. They have a chart that's like, "This is your sale price. This is how much we take to make it. This is how much you get," and you can fiddle with it.

Q: Is there any kind of marketing happening on Amazon’s side, or is it all you?

Beka: They can do promotions, but you have to pay them to promote it.

Q: Did you look into promotion costs through Amazon? What kind of money are we talking, here?

Beka: Honestly, I don’t remember. When I see a fee of any kind I run for the hills because I'm cheap like that. lol. It's prob not too cheap BUT they also have this thing you can sign up for that's like a library kinda deal where your book can go on the free book a month kindle deal- i didn't do it bc you don't get royalties for it. but more people read it? idk what's best. It's all very over my head marketing.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I guess if you're looking to become a popular selling author, and you have the cash to pay to promote it, then after a few books, it would pay off when you develop an audience.

Q: Do you think self publishing is the way to go long term, or maybe a better in terms of testing the waters? I realize you are still in the latter stage but I'm curious about your opinion...

Beka: Here's my thoughts: I used to be a singer/songwriter. I played in Manhattan. I had paying gigs. I recorded an album. I thought I could make it work. But I didn't go for it. No one handed me a record contract. I let it all go to have my kids and family. I want to write. I realize no one's gonna stick their hand out and hand me a publishing deal. BUT I might be able to pay some bills with my books. I might be able to write enough, well enough to sell some books. and if i sell enough books, maybe a publisher WILL see me and then I can attempt the next stage. I think self publishing is great. Why not? Do it if you want to do it. If you want to write, write. If you want to share it, share it. Who's to stop you? And if you can share it through self publishing with people all over the world?? freaking do it, man.

Q: What is your best piece of writing advice?

Beka: OK, my best writing advice is... See it, feel it, write it. If you don't feel what you're writing, I'm not gonna feel it reading it. I think i'm more of an emotional writer than a descriptive. I can't tell you what the room looks like that they're in, but I can tell you how it feels that Dean just stepped on that Lego. ya know? Idk. Write what you see and feel, and put yourself into it, and it'll be amazing.

Q: Are you a planner or a pantser?

Beka: Planner? SOMETIMES. It depends. I have plans for series, but shorter things I just go with the flow. I'm constantly messaging Ashley like "DEAN JUST DID X. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" lol

Q: Do you outline at all, or just have a general goal in mind?

Beka: I do outline series. but not... strictly or drastically. Like, right now i'm working on a series for my kink bingo that's alternates between the brothers. I have a general plot line over all to follow, but i've also set it up like c1- flogging. c2- spanking, etc.

Q: What is something you know now that you wish you knew before you published?

Beka: I think I'd tell myself to not worry and just freaking write what I want.

Q: Do you have a writing schedule or something that keeps you productive?

Beka: No. I try very hard to have a schedule, but I'm a little... slightly... bipolar I think and my writing follows my moods. I can write 20K in a weekend and then nothing for a week. I just literally ride the wave of ideas. Like, currently I'm in a slump. but I wrote 10K this week before the slump hit. It's quite annoying.

Except for some general conversation about the stupid places and times we all get ideas and the incomprehensible notes we’ve all left for ourselves, the chat ended. A good time was had by all, I think!! Thanks to everyone who was there! @littlegreenplasticsoldier @kittenofdoomage @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @because-imma-lady-assface @canadianspnhunter (And two folks whose URLs I never got: Cassie and Shaila)

General Pond Updates and Reminders

Angel Fish Award nominations are due soon! Click the link for the list of raffle prizes! Remember, every nomination is an entry! So far, we’ve only received three or four nominations. If you have sent in a nomination, but have not received a private message confirming we received it, we didn’t get it. Send it in again! Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - New prompts go up after every new episode, and there’s no deadline! Check out the prompts and rules at the link!

Say hi to February’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the chat room and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details! The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

Next month’s LiveChat details will be published as soon as we know them! Hope to see you there!

#spnfanficpond live chat #chat room #let's chat #THE CHAT ROOM #pond chat

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etudias · 6 years

Text

(Edit: I am aware of the typo in the title, it should be experience)

Hi there, my name is Alessandra and I am going to tell y’all about how the whole college application process went for me. I think my experience ended a little differently than most, or at least most that people will share. It honestly took a lot for me to feel comfortable posting this so I really hope that it will help someone out there. It is however a very long post, so I am going to break it up into sections, feel free to read only what you need/want.

1. Researching Schools

I got excited for college. I was excited to go to college for as long as I can remember and was looking up different schools on site’s like the college board one, bigfuture, which by the way, I recommend, since probably 10th grade. So come Junior year I had a bunch of schools I was interested in. I ended up visiting a few in Boston over spring break that year. I visited Harvard, MIT, and Boston University (clearly my sights were set high). I did not really think it was that important to visit colleges, and that I should just visit the ones I got into to help decide (I now know that college visits can actually really help you get into a top school). The summer before senior year I worked hard to narrow down my list. I ended up with 12 schools that I applied to. This may seem like a lot to some, or not many at all to others. Most people I know applied to more like 5-8, but I know some people who applied to 20+, you gotta do what’s right for you. I wanted to apply to more honestly, but based on costs that is the number my mother and I agreed upon.

2. The Schools

Okay so in alphabetical order here are the schools I applied to:

Barnard College

Brown University

Carnegie Mellon University

Case Western Reserve University

Duke University

Georgia Institute of Technology

Harvard University

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Stanford

University of California - Berkeley

University of Georgia

University of Pennsylvania

So, some reasoning on my choices. I heard someone say something that I fully agreed with, and after everything still do. That you should apply to as many reach schools as you can because it raises the chances of getting into just one. So with that I applied to a bunch of reaches, a few meets, and 1 safety. The one safety school I decided on was because it was in state and in my state if you have a 3.75+ GPA and some other requirements, you get full tuition to in state schools and I knew that given the money, there was really no other school that I could consider a safety school that I would choose over it. I still stand by this choice.

3. My Stats

You are probably going to ask this and I’ve decided to be upfront and tell you because why the heck not. I sent in ACT scores, not SAT (although I did take it). I got a 32 (33 English, 33 Reading, 35 Science, 28 Math), I should have spent more time studying for the math as that score never changed, but it was my 3rd time taking the test and I was over it, my goal had been a 33, but to me that was close enough because I was tired. My GPA was a 3.875 unweighted and a 4.063 weighted. My school did not offer many AP courses, I took all that I could with the exception of 2 history courses that I had strong reasons for not taking and when I had my Harvard interview and I talked with the lady about it, she wholeheartedly agreed and said that as the counselor of her private school she even made her school stop offering those courses, so yeah I feel pretty valid about that. (Ended up taking 7 AP’s if you are curious about which ones, they are on my about page) I basically got all A’s in my academics, my B’s came from some arts classes and health, I know, I know. I’m going to briefly mention my school in this section because it is sort of related. I went to a public arts high school that is ranked number 2 in the state for academics and 75th in the nation. It was extremely rigorous.

4. Extracurricular’s and other application stuff

I was very involved. I participated in theater for all 5 years (my school was 8-12). I did technical theater and by 10th grade was crew head for shows and in 11th grade I worked every show (which at my school was a lot). Senior year I became a stage manager which is a big responsibility and sort of like being a president of a club, but even more responsibility. I calculated the hours I spent with theater junior year alone, 300 hrs. I was also very involved in orchestra, all 5 years. My school has 4 orchestra levels, the first two comprising the lower orchestra, 3&4 comprising the higher level orchestra, based on skill level, not age. I was in orchestra 2 for 8th and 9th grade, orchestra 3 for 10th and 11th grade, and orchestra 4 for senior year, orchestra 4 was a big deal, with only 11 members and you played not only in the higher level orchestra but also the touring orchestra. Lots of hours. I also played in my county’s honor’s orchestra for 2 years. I was on the executive board (basically president) of my schools National Honor Society (our school only opens it to seniors, so I was only in it for 1 year). I was part of Beta Club for 4 years. I was a math tutor. I founded a Girls Who Code club at my school and taught it. I was in our award winning mock trial for 2 years. I was a member of my schools Gay Straight Alliance. I babysat all throughout high school. I did more than that but this is already long enough and you can tell that basically, I was a try hard.

Let’s talk about summers. The summer after 10th grade I went to a 7 week long summer immersion program for coding called Girls Who Code. The summer after junior year I went to a week long orchestra camp, then my states Governor’s Honor’s program, which in my state is very prestigious and hard to get into (I think its like a 10% acceptance rate). I was a software engineering major and a math minor there. (Those are really the summers that count, but all other summers I went to orchestra camp)

More application stuff, I had a fair amount of school awards as well as the aforementioned Governor’s Honor’s. I got recommendations from my pre calculus teacher, who I founded a Girls Who Code club with, and my world history/ap psych teacher. They both loved me and I’m sure wrote great recommendations (with the exception of UGA where I did not send any). All the schools I had interviews with went extremely well. I was a legacy for Duke. I had an alumni friend write an AMAZING letter of rec for CMU. I felt my essays were strong (and checked by 3 or so people).

My major: I basically applied everywhere as a computer science major. I felt good about this with the way I spent my summers, some of my extracurricular, and classes I chose to take. I wrote a fair amount of essays about this and I feel as though my applications demonstrated the work I had put into bringing more people (especially women) into STEM, specifically cs, and my interests and knowledge of cs.

5. The Decisions

Finally the good part right? Well at least for you readers. I’ll go in order of the decisions (although towards the end I forget the order a bit because it was tech week and show weeks for my schools biggest production, I was busy) and add some commentary on some. (All regular decision unless otherwise noted)

MIT (Early Action) - rejected, it hurt a little being my first, but not unexpected

Case Western (Early Action) - deferred, then waitlisted, then rejected, everyone from my school got the exact same decisions from them and there were people from the bottom of my class to the very top lol

University of Georgia - accepted, oh boy I cried because finally thank goodness somewhere at least

Georgia Tech - waitlisted, then rejected, this one still stings, people with all around weaker applications from my school got in that applied early. the acceptance rate dropped from 40% to 8% between early and regular, biggest regret is not applying here early, once I was waitlisted here I felt for sure I wouldn’t get in anywhere else

Barnard College - waitlisted, still waiting to hear. at this point i just felt like I was getting waitlisted everywhere

Harvard - rejected, expected as are basically the rest of these

U Penn - rejected

Brown - rejected

UC Berkeley - rejected

Duke - rejected, but damn that letter I’m still mad about, like the fact the I got rejected was unsurprising at that point, but they sent me 3 long paragraphs of rejection bc I was a legacy saying how sorry they were and how many times they reconsidered my application. One sentence would have been better.

Stanford - rejected

CMU - rejected, and man I knew it was coming but it was the last school I heard from, my last hope, and it was closing day for my last school musical, this was a bad day, not so much for this one school but just the process in general

6. Reflections

So I got into 1 school, yup just 1. My safety school that’s it. Let me tell you I was devastated, not over any particular school, but that I didn’t get into any others. I ate 4 donuts and cried a whole lot the day of that last rejection. I got really REALLY stuck on the fact that I would only ever read that one acceptance letter, that one congratulations. I moped around and was sad and upset with my self and full of regrets like why did I not apply to more schools, it was a bad time. But let me tell you that time really showed my what good some friends could be, friends really helped me through that. Even though I had only one school I waited till the last minute to commit. So yes, fall 2018 UGA here I come, go dawgs! (and really its not a bad school, especially the honors program) I worked really hard to get myself excited for this school and as much as I am, with the major I want to go into, I know it is in my best interests to transfer, no matter how much I do not like the idea of transferring (its a good school don’t get me wrong, just not the best for my major). I am still trying to come to terms with the idea of transferring and honestly this whole process in general. I do not think I would have done things much differently, I put my best into my applications, honestly if I changed anything I would have just applied to more schools and probably only more reaches or meet/reaches at that. I have come to accept the decisions (mostly, I still get quite down about it from time to time). It was an odd year for decisions at my school in general. We usually send a good amount of students to top top schools like ivies and the equivalent, but this year no one got into any, heck our valedictorian is going to UGA too. (I think it has something to do with our class being super strong overall, 50% had a 4.0+ weighted, so therefore none of us really stood out) So yeah it really freaking hurts only getting into one school, I’m pretty sure I went through all the stages of grief, but now I am in acceptance and just getting excited for college!! and I am SO EXCITED

If anyone has any questions about this process, my inbox is open.

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frickfrackjimin · 6 years

Text

The Right Reasons - 01

⇻ 2 years ago, Jay Park left you in the dust when he chose another girl over you during the season 14 finale of the Bachelor. Now, it’s your turn to find a chance at love as the new Bachelorette. Pairing: OT7 BTS x reader (ft. members of Monsta X, Seventeen, and NCT 127 bc why not include all of the groups I stan) Genre: fluff, future angst, lowkey crack/humor (this is a kpop fic version of the cringiest show on television cmon now) Words: 8.1K Inspired by: The Bachelorette! I’ve been watching since Kaitlyn’s season and once Becca’s season started I got the inspo to write this! Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, slight language, guys being assholes (don’t take the way I portray any of them to heart, it’s simply for the plot of the story!), super cringe bc this is based on shitty reality TV anyways!!! sorry no interviews or intel on the guys… unless i decide to switch it up a bit towards the end ;-) we shall see)

Start of Week 1:

Chae, Hyungwon (aged 28, 5’ 11”, College Professor, Hometown: Gwangju)

Choi, Sungcheol (aged 26, 5’ 10”, IT Consultant, Hometown: Daegu)

Hong, Joshua (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Pastry Chef, Hometown: Los Angeles)

Im, Changkyun (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Marketing Consultant, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jeon, Jeongguk (aged 24, 5’ 10”, Wedding Videographer, Hometown: Busan)

Jeon, Wonwoo (aged 25, 6’ 0”, Software Engineer, Hometown: Gyeongsangnam-do)

Jung, Hoseok (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Journalist, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jung, Jaehyun (aged 25, 5’ 11”, Realtor, Hometown: Seoul)

Kim, Mingyu (aged 24/25, 6’ 2”, Chiropractor, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Kim, Namjoon (aged 27, 5’ 11”, Pharmacy Technician, Hometown: Ilsan)

Kim, Seokjin (aged 29, 5’ 10.5”, Physical Therapist, Hometown: Gwacheon)

Kim, Taehyung (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Music Producer, Hometown: Daegu)

Kwon, Soonyoung (aged 25, 5’ 10”, Executive Assistant, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Jooheon (aged 27, 5’ 10”, Graphic Designer, Hometown: Seoul)

Lee, Minhyuk (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Sales Rep, Hometown: Gwangju)

Lee, Seokmin (aged 25, 5’ 10.5”, Creative Director, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Taeyong (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Sales Account Executive, Hometown: Seoul)

Min, Yoongi (aged 29, 5’ 8.5”, Professional Pianist, Hometown: Daegu)

Moon, Taeil (aged 27, 5’ 7”, Attorney, Hometown: Seoul)

Park, Jimin (aged 26, 5’ 8.5”, Social Media Coordinator, Hometown: Busan)

Seo, Johnny (aged 27, 6’ 0”, Translator, Hometown: Chicago)

Shin, Hoseok (Wonho) (aged 30, 5’ 10”, Fitness Coach, Hometown: Anyang)

Sohn, Hyunwoo (aged 29, 5’ 11”, Mechanic, Hometown: Changdong)

Yoo, Kihyun (aged 28, 5’ 9”, Dental Assistant, Hometown: Ilsan)

Yoon, Jeonghan (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Research Assistant, Hometown: Hwaseong)

Week 1:

The last time you felt this nervous was the night you first met Jay Park.

It was a year and a half ago. You had been invited by the producers of the Bachelor to participate in season 14.

Originally, you had no idea who the Bachelor was supposed to be. About a week before you began filming, you found out it was going to be Jay and your nerves went tenfold.

You had watched him on Jisoo’s season of the Bachelorette the year prior. He had been one of your favorites, but got eliminated after hometowns when Jisoo sent him home to pursue her relationships with the other guys.

Though you were nervous, you tried to not let them show when you got out of the limo. Walking up to him in front of the mansion, you had let all of your anxieties go as you decided to go for the corniest pick up line out there.

“Um, so I think we might need to call the cops tonight,” you had said with a serious face.

“What? Why?” Jay asked back, a concerned look spreading across his face.

“Because it’s illegal for you to look that good.”

That had made him laugh. You patted yourself on the back for making a good first impression, which continued as your relationship progressed throughout the next few weeks.

Before you could even realize it, you had fallen in love with him. So, so in love with him.

Everything he did made you feel so special; he was a gentleman, he listened to you when you opened up to him, and the conversations you had on and off camera were great in your eyes.

Apparently they weren’t that good to him though, since he chose the other girl, Nayeon, over you in the end.

Oh, but the best part was getting to re-watch you get rejected by Jay on television three months later, and watching him propose to Nayeon instead and seeing how happy they were. Yeah, that was just the cherry on top.

Even then, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate the girl. She had been nothing but sweet to you all season, and it’s not like you could help that you both fell in love with the same guy - you knew that was a risk you had to take when you agreed to go on the show.

Still, you had taken a year off to mend your broken heart, focusing on loving yourself and spending a lot of time with your friends and family.

You also spent a lot of time continuing your work as a travel nurse. You visited numerous cities in the United States, as well as in Thailand and Vietnam, lending your services where they were necessary.

Now, you had time off and wanted to spend that time trying to look for love again. When the producers of the Bachelorette approached you and asked if you wanted to be the next Bachelorette, there was no way that you could say no.

You were ready for a second chance at finding love. This time, you had a good feeling that it would be a success and you’d be walking away with a ring on your finger and your arm around a man who loved you just as much as you loved him.

The season would feature 25 men all fighting for a chance to fall in love with you.

Now in the limo, you can see the front gates of the mansion in the distance. That mansion housed you and dozens of other girls before.

In that mansion, you experienced cocktail parties, emotional rose ceremonies, and went through plenty of drama between the contestants.

Now, it would be occupied by twenty-five of your own suitors. The role reversal would take some getting used to, but you were ultimately excited.

The limo came to a halt, making you shake your head briefly out of your thoughts. You smoothed down the front of your navy blue gown - one covered in sequin beading from head to toe with spaghetti straps and an open back.

Your producer, Chan, had said it made you look like you were red carpet ready, not about to meet twenty five men who probably would never meet your high expectations.

That was the goal though; you knew that if you looked good, you’d feel good too, and hopefully that would give you good judgment on the men tonight.

Stepping a silver heel ounto the stone driveway, you are met with the dimmed lighting of the infamous Bachelor Nation mansion, as well as the face of the show’s long-time host Bang Sihyuk.

After your typical greetings you needed to do for the sake of the camera, Bang walks into the house to await the other men.

Now it’s just you, left alone with your thoughts while waiting for the first limo to pull into the driveway. You can feel the cameras on you from their multiple positions on the driveway.

Some are already in the house, waiting to begin filming the cocktail party and rose ceremony later in the evening.

‘Just remember that they’re all here for you,’ you thought to yourself. ‘You have nothing to worry about, they’re the ones that have to impress you. You just need to be yourself. Everything will be fine.’

The first man to step out of the limo is gorgeous.

His hair is dyed a faded red color, the smile lighting up his face automatically makes your heart flutter. Taking a moment to button his suit jacket that fits him oh so well, you take notice of the black sticks in his hands.

You smile grows wider as he approaches you, arms automatically spreading out for a hug which you are more than happy to return.

“You look absolutely beautiful tonight! Like, wow, I can’t even believe it,” he praises, practically gawking at you but it doesn’t make you uncomfortable; if anything, it’s flattering.

“You look very handsome as well!” you compliment back, being 100% truthful.

“So my name is Hoseok, and if I’m right, I’m the first one here?”

“You would be correct,” you flirt back.

“Well then, I guess it’s only appropriate that we break these bad boys out,” he states, handing you one of the black sticks.

“What is this?” you ask, turning the stick around curiously in your hands.

“I think it’s time that we get the party started!” he exclaims, before pushing at the bottom of his stick. A loud pop sound came from the stick as confetti flew all over the two of you. You screech a bit, both in shock and out of giddiness.

“I guess it’s my turn now?” you giggle, pushing at the bottom of your stick as the other party popper explodes, numerous colors of shimmery paper flying around the two of you.

Letting out cheers of awe at the colors around you, you turn back to face Hoseok, your cheeks hurting already from smiling so much.

“That was definitely a good way to get the party started!” you cheer. “It was so nice getting to meet you Hoseok, I’ll definitely find you inside later!”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” he smiles, going in for another hug that you gladly accept.

He gives you one last dazzling smile before turning and walking back into the mansion.

You watch him as he walks away, admiring the fit of his suit and thinking about what an amazing first meeting you had.

‘If the rest are like him, I’m screwed,’ you thought to yourself before turning back around.

The staff quickly came by and sweeped up the rest of the confetti before the next man stepped out of the limo.

The second man was tall and named Johnny, with wavy brown hair and a sweet smile.

The man after him had with milky white skin and surprisingly dyed mint green hair.

He seemed really shy when he told you that his name was Yoongi, and that he looked forward to getting to know you more.

He had quite the mysterious aura about him, which intrigued you. You made a mental note to try to break him out of his shell tonight during the cocktail party.

Three more men followed out of the limo, going by the names of Jeonghan, Joshua, and Hyungwon.

Jeonghan had a cute smile and laugh, Joshua had pink dyed hair with flustered red cheeks, and Hyungwon was tall and lanky with full lips.

Expecting a limo to pull up after Hyungwon entered the house, you are surprised when you instead heard the sound of a high pitched horn.

Looking towards the gate, you saw a man riding in on a bright pink electric scooter, scarily similar to a Jet X from your favorite childhood show, Zoey 101.

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaimed, laughter pouring out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

He pulls up to a stop right in front of you, taking off his helmet and shaking his hair out.

“Are you ready?” he asks in a high pitched voice.

You’re cracking up at this point, but manage to utter out an, “Ooh!” to finish off the intro he had started.

The man walks up to you and embraces you in a light hug before grabbing your hands in his. His boxy smile is taking over his face as he begins to speak.

“So, I heard through the grapevine that you loved Zoey 101 as a kid, and I know you see me standing here, and I just had to let you know that you look good, my dear,” he says, theme song puns dropping from his tongue. It’s almost cringey, but he manages to pull it off.

“Well, I would love for you to see my world if it means I get to take a spin on this Jet X later,” you chuckle.

“That can definitely be arranged. My name is Taehyung, by the way.”

You almost miss his name, finally getting a good look at his face without being overtaken by laughter from the theme of his entrance.

His dark brown hair fell into his eyes a little, hitting the tops of his long eyelashes. He wasn’t wearing a tie, but he didn’t seem like he really needed one to look formal.

“It is very nice to meet you Taehyung,” you say, gripping his hands a bit tighter before he lets go.

“I hope to get to talk to you more inside later, maybe over some Blix and Sushi Rox,” he smiles.

“I would really like that.”

As he walks into the house, you follow him with your eyes. He turns around before entering the house and sings out, “Yeaaaah, yeah, yeaaaaah!” which makes you laugh as hard as it did the first time.

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face as the next limo pops up, greeting you with five more attractive suitors.

Mingyu was tall with a lean figure and light brown hair.

Wonho had soft eyes and his suit was threatening to burst at the seams from how muscular he was.

Jimin was small in stature but had a sweet smile that turned his eyes into crescent moons.

Jaehyun had a long nose and dimples.

Kihyun was adorable and just kept repeating how nervous he was, which was more endearing than off-putting.

As soon as the empty limo turned back onto the street, you heard wheels rolling against the driveway, signaling a new arrival. This time it was not a limo yet again.

A blur of a dark green suit jacket and black trousers passes your vision as the man rides a skateboard around on the stone driveway.

Your nerves are a bit on edge watching him, since the pavement was so uneven and he could fall at any moment.

The man does a few flip tricks on the skateboard, which would impress you if you weren’t so worried for his safety.

He does one final trick, flipping into a handstand on his skateboard, before flipping forward and landing right in front of you.

“Wow!” you exclaim because you really are at a loss for words.

“I’m Jooheon, nice to meet you,” he smiles, leaning in and wrapping his arms around you lightly.

“It’s nice to meet you too… wow I’m sorry, I’m still in shock from that entrance,” you stuttered out.

He chuckled. “I’ve been skateboarding since I was ten, it’s just a hobby but I figured it’d make a cool entrance.”

“Well, it was definitely cool, I was so worried you would fall though!” you laughed even though it wasn’t that funny.

“I honestly was worried too! I promise I’ll stick to my feet for the rest of the night.”

“I think that’s for the best,” you laugh.

The next few guys were strange and quirky in their own sense too.

The first man to step out of the next limousine, Namjoon, was adorable in every sense. He had the deepest dimples you had ever seen and tripped on his way up.

You felt bad for trying to contain a laugh, but he immediately began laughing at himself, stating that stuff like that happens to him all of the time. His clutziness was charming.

The next man, Seungcheol, came out with something that resembled a large egg in his arm.

You were hoping that it was something other than an egg, but you were proven wrong when he explained that he wants to be able to take care of you and be a good husband and future father.

To prove this, he would take care of the ostrich egg in his arms for the entire time he is in the competition.

You wanted to be polite, but you were a bit creeped out.

Thankfully, the next few guys were more normal.

Seokjin was the definition of handsome, with broad shoulders and thick lips.

Changkyun had one of the deepest voices you had ever heard and a somewhat serious aura to him.

Wonwoo had narrow, sultry eyes but a contradicting pleasant smile.

Taeyong looked like he was straight out of an anime with sharp features but a soft presence.

With the weird things that had happened so far that night, you shouldn’t have been surprised that someone showed up in a costume. That still didn’t stop the laughter from the surprise that came from seeing a man hop up the driveway in a gigantic grey bunny suit.

“Y/N!!!” he yells from the foot of the driveway as you continue to rumble in laughter at the sight.

Stepping in front of you, he grabs your hands with his fur covered ones.

“So, my name is Jeongguk, I’ve been told by my friends that I look like a bunny and I’m hoping to hop my way into your heart.”

You want to cringe at how bad that line was, but the red on his cheeks and his big doe eyes made you change your comment to, “Well, we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

The final limousine pulls up after Jeongguk enters the mansion, and you ready yourself for the last group of guys to exit the limousine.

The first man, Hyunwoo, had soft features and was very reserved, but sweet nonetheless.

Minhyuk was a big ball of sunshine and his nose scrunched a bit when he smiled.

Seokmin had the brightest smile you had ever seen on someone and you felt immediately comfortable in his presence.

Taeil had a soothing voice and fluffy hair that you just wanted to run your hands through.

As Taeil walked through the door, you thought that all of the guys had arrived. However, your producers proved you wrong when they asked you to stand back a bit on the driveway, closer to the house so the final man could make his arrival.

You were confused, but soon felt the wind pick up around you. Staring up into the night sky, you see the outline of a helicopter as it begins to descend down towards you.

“Oh my gosh!” you scream over the loud sound of the rotor blades. A guy was actually making an entrance on a helicopter?!

You can see some of the other guys in the house peeking out through the fence and even through the front door, observing the source of the loud noises outside.

Once the helicopter touches down and the blades slow to a stop, a man steps out of the rotorcraft. He is clad in black from head to toe, down to his black hair that is gelled back away from his face. He buttons his suit jacket before beginning to walk towards you.

“Figured that we had better save the best for last,” he starts, a quirky smile appearing on his face. “Hi, I’m Soonyoung.”

He envelopes you in a hug before leaning back.

“Well, that was definitely extravagant, Soonyoung,” you chortle.

“The view from up there was amazing, but I think the view I have right here in front of me is better,” he flirts.

You blush a bit, simply replying back, “Very smooth.”

After Soonyoung enters the house, you take a minute with your producers to touch up your hair and makeup, eat a granola bar, and stick a mint in your mouth.

With a full stomach and a fresh coat of lipstick, you enter the house to begin the first of many conversations throughout the night.

Once you arrive in the house, all of the men are ushered into the dining room for the official season photo.

They are lined up in three rows, with you being in the very bottom row in the middle. After about thirty minutes of taking photos and touching up, you make your official on-camera walk out to greet all of the men.

Entering the living room, all of they immediately start applauding you, all standing up from their seats and moving a bit closer.

You blush at the sudden onslaught of attention your way, but had to remind yourself that you would probably have to get used to it.

Namjoon approaches your side, holding out a glass of white wine. You thank him and grasp the stem of the glass between your fingers before turning to the rest of the room.

“Thank you all for being here tonight, I’m so happy to have met all of you, and I hope to get to know you all more throughout the night,” you pause a second, raising your glass. “So, here’s to a great first night, and to a great season, and to finding love!”

The men cheer at that as all of you taking sips from your glasses varying in liquors and spirits.

You feel a tap on your shoulder, turning to see Seokmin’s smiling face.

“Mind if I steal you for a bit?” he asks.

“Of course you can,” you respond, preparing yourself for a long night full of many, many conversations.

A few people into the night, you’re walking on the patio after finishing up conversation with Jeongguk - who had taken off his bunny costume once he got in the house and was instead wearing a maroon and black striped suit with a maroon button up shirt.

Immediately after he enters the living room through the large french doors, Jaehyun is taking you back to a sofa on the patio for his conversation of the night.

“So Jaehyun, what do you do for a living?” you ask, figuring it was a good starting point.

“I’m a realtor in Seoul,” he explains. “I’m normally situated near Gangnam.”

“Oh, that’s not too far from here, is it? Did you not have to travel far to be here?”

“Not really, I work a lot from home too. It’s nice when you make enough of a living that you don’t need to really work full-time.”

Something about his mention of his wealth was a bit off putting, but you brushed it off as him being proud of his success. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your work.

You should know, you could talk about your relationships with some of your patients for hours.

“Although, it’s actually pretty funny. The other week, your ex contacted my company for a realtor because he wanted to buy an apartment somewhere. They sent me out there, and when I saw it was him and that girl he picked over you, I could immediately tell that he had awful taste because the girl he picked was definitely not as pretty and nice as you.”

That rubbed you the wrong way. Even though you know you and Nayeon will never be friends, hearing her being talked down on by someone that doesn’t really know her doesn’t sit well with you.

“Nayeon’s actually really nice, I never had a problem with her, even now,” you assert defensively.

“Okay, well, I’m just saying, I think I got the better end of the deal” Jaehyun shrugs.

That was the final straw for you. You were so consumed by rage for this arrogant man, you don’t even think you could wait for the rose ceremony to send him home.

However, for the sake of not wanting to seem like a psycho bachelorette on the first night of the show, you withheld from screaming at him to get the hell out.

“You can think whatever you want, even if it’s rude and arrogant,” you chime back at him, standing up. “I need to go to the restroom. Thank you for speaking with me. It was really eye opening.”

You stand up, abandoning your now empty glass of wine behind with Jaehyun as you enter the house and head straight towards the restroom.

The cameramen are right on your trail, having caught the entire exchange on camera.

You locked the door behind you, effectively shutting out the cameras before slumping against the door. Resisting the urge to run your hands over your face, you take a minute to collect yourself.

Being reminded of Jay was not something that you wanted to happen tonight.

Of course, maybe a subtle comment here and there could be expected, but when Jaehyun came right out and insulted not just Jay but Nayeon as well, you were shocked and really upset that he would do such a thing.

Exiting the bathroom, you begin to make your way back to the living room to find another man to talk to. A hand lightly grabs your arm on your way back, letting go when you turn to look at him.

Taehyung gives you a sheepish smile. “Can I steal you for a bit?”

You breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of him. “Depends, am I going to get a ride on that Jet X now?”

His deep voice lets out a breathy laugh. “Not tonight, but I do have something else planned I think you’ll like.”

“Then lead the way,” you hold your hand out to him, allowing him to clasp it in his own as you make your way out to a different part of the patio.

It’s more secluded than the previous place you had been conversing, with a loveseat rather than a couch as the choice of seating. You know that the cameramen are following you without even looking.

“You looked a bit down earlier, are you okay? Are you just feeling tired? I know it’s been a long night and it’s not even halfway over yet,” he chuckles, adding some lighthearted humor to his concern.

“I wouldn’t say I’m tired per say, however I will be sleeping very well at the end of the night,” you smile. “Just a little off put by some people here is all.”

“I hope I’m not one of them.”

“No, Taehyung, you’re not,” you assure him, placing your hand on his knee.

“Well that’s good, because I actually wrote something for you.”

He reaches behind the loveseat, pulling out an acoustic guitar. How he managed to hide that without you seeing is beyond you, but it brings a smile to your face.

“I wrote this a few days ago when I was supposed to be packing,” he says quietly. “It’s not finished, but I hope you like it.”

He tunes a few of the strings before he begins to strum different chords. When he opens his mouth to begin singing, your mouth drops open a bit.

His voice sounds like silk, or milk chocolate, or something else that is comforting that you can’t think of.

The extremely deep tone in his voice brings a calming sense over you.

He manages to hit high notes with little problem, impressing you even further.

You find yourself wishing he had prepared more of the song when he strums his last chord, just so you could listen a bit longer.

“You really wrote that, Taehyung?”

He blushes. “Yeah. I’m a music producer so it’s like second nature to me to write about what I’m feeling. I was excited but nervous to begin this journey, you know? I also saw on TV how pretty and genuine and sweet you were, and I really wanted to make a good impression on you.”

You smile sweetly at him. “I think you’re doing a great job at that.”

Mingyu comes over at that time, asking if he can have some time to chat with you.

You of course can’t say no, as much as you wish you had more time to talk with Taehyung.

You both stand up, giving him a hug as he heads back into the house. Mingyu takes a seat next to you, and you try to focus your attention back on him.

“So my team’s research is basically on how certain particles in the atmosphere interact with each other in different climates that they may not normally be found in. With all of the issues with global warming and pollution, it’s really cool and important because-”

Jeonghan had sat down across from you about two minutes ago, and in that time you’ve found out that he is currently getting his Master’s Degree in agricultural and biological engineering.

He was a research assistant in a lab at the local university. You were a little lost on what he was talking about, because even though you had to take numerous science classes when getting your nursing degree, you never enjoyed that part of it.

You preferred the clinical rounds and the on-hand experience rather than taking microbiology or anatomy and physiology.

“Hey man, mind if I steal her for a bit?”

You look up to see Taeil standing over the pair of you, Jeonghan’s rambling about his research coming to a halt.

“I literally just sat down.”

“I know, I was just wondering if I could have some time to talk to Y/N.”

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes a bit at Taeil before admitting defeat and standing up.

“It was great getting to talk to you, Y/N, no matter how short our time was,” Jeonghan says, shooting a glare at Taeil as he walks away and Taeil takes his spot.

Trying to find the right time to interrupt a conversation is always uncomfortable, no matter what side you are on. You feel for Jeonghan, but you are also a bit thankful for Taeil swooping in and interrupting.

That is, until he begins talking as well.

As soon as you find out he’s an attorney, you have to refrain from rolling your eyes.

Your uncle is an attorney, and whenever he’s not working (which is rare) he is always talking down on you, thinking he’s better because he is certified to be a professional arguer.

You haven’t had the greatest of experiences with them in the past, but you wanted to give Taeil the benefit of the doubt.

However, after conversing with him for a solid ten minutes, and him asking you to expand on your answers at least three times, you felt like your head was about to explode.

Thankfully, another man came by right when you were about to excuse yourself.

You breathed a sigh of relief when looking upon the face of Seokjin.

Taeil thanked you for speaking with him before he got up and Seokjin took his place.

“So how’s your night been?” he asks, taking a sip of his red wine.

Gulping down a sip of your own white wine spritzer, you nod at him while replying with, “It’s been good! I’ve had a lot of great conversations.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed you’ve had a lot of conversations. Have you been able to eat anything yet?” he asks, concern laced across his features.

“I had a granola bar before I came in the house a while ago, but I’ll be okay until the end of the night,” you assure him.

He clicks his tongue at you. “You need to take care of yourself. They have all of this food catered for us in the kitchen, yet the beautiful woman we’re all here for gets nothing? I just don’t understand. That’s why I brought you this.”

It’s then that you notice the plate of food in his hand. It’s mostly desserts; two brownies, some chocolate covered strawberries, and a rice krispie treat.

Your mouth salivates a bit and your stomach lets out an embarrassing grumble of hunger at the sight.

You widen your eyes at him, being caught in your fib.

(A/N: CAUGHT IN A LIIIIIIEEEEEEEE)

He pushes the plate into your lap, and you accept it gratefully. “You’re a lifesaver, Seokjin. Thank you.”

It was really sweet of Seokjin to bring you a plate of food, even though he could have easily forgone it. It shows that he does genuinely care about your well being and making sure that you are well fed and not just surviving the night on wine spritzers and a granola bar.

“Any time. I couldn’t let all of the men pig out while you sat out here starving until morning.”

“I’ll only eat some if you have a brownie too, and tell me some more about yourself,” you offer.

“Deal. What would you like to know?” he asks before taking a bite out of one of the brownies on the plate.

Your chat ensued from there, the topic of his profession as a physical therapist and yours as a nurse paving the way for a good conversation. One that was cut short once again as Taeyong came to begin his conversation with you.

“Thank you again for the food, it was delicious, and I really appreciate it,” you say, standing up with Seokjin.

“Like I said before, any time. I enjoyed our conversation.”

You and Seokjin embrace in a lingering hug before he walks away, and Taeyong is grabbing your hand to walk with you to another place to chat.

Thankfully, there were only a handful of guys to talk to after your conversation with Taeyong.

That still didn’t mean much, considering it was nearly 1:00 in the morning and you still had to do your interviews and figure out who to send home during the rose ceremony.

Another thing on your mind was who to give the first impression rose to.

Sitting in one of the lounges with your producers, you snack on some carrot sticks while sorting through all of the photos of your suitors.

If anyone caught this on tape and it was shown on TV, no doubt the fans would get mad.

How were you, in all seriousness, really supposed to remember the names of twenty five people that you just met that day?

That’s like asking to memorize the names and faces of every member of Twice, Girls Generation, and Apink in one day. It’s impossible.

“Anyone in particular make a bad impression that you want to send home?” Chan asks.

“A few of them, actually. Which surprises me, I figured it’d be harder to try to figure out who to send home. There were a few who were rude or I just didn’t feel a connection with, I feel like this elimination is going to be the easiest,” you admit.

“That’s how it normally is. The smaller the pool and the more the relationships grow, the harder it gets.”

Setting aside the pile of those you would send home tonight, you turn back to your pile of those you want to stay.

“Now, who to give the first impression rose to is hard. A lot of them made great conversation, and a lot of them had great entrances. Soonyoung came in on a helicopter, I’m pretty sure that made a big first impression.” Chan laughs at that.

“However, Kihyun made me laugh so hard I nearly had wine coming out of my nose, and Johnny and I had a deep conversation for it only being the first night. I could honestly give it to either of them.”

“What about Seokjin? Didn’t he bring you food halfway through the night? That was really sweet of him, and actually normal compared to some of the weird shit the other guys pulled” Chan questions.

You laugh at that, remembering how Minhyuk had brought an electronic massager to use on your back that just tickled you instead.

And how Joshua had attempted to juggle three bottles of water and ended up spilling all over himself and the couch.

“Yeah he did,” you respond, scanning the pictures and landing on Seokjin’s.

His shoulders are so broad that they had to zoom the camera out a bit on his picture, making a small smile appear on your face.

Your eyes continue to wander through the headshots, before lingering on a specific one.

You glanced at Chan through your peripherals, glancing at this man’s headshot.

You don’t even try to contain your smile as you reminisce on his humor and quirkiness and his handsome smile.

“I know who to give the rose to.”

Stepping out of the lounge, you make your way into the living room.

Most of the men are congregated in different areas of the room; some on the couch, others in chairs, some lingering in the door frames.

All eyes turn to you as you enter the room, those in the hallways coming to stand in the living room. Everyone looks thoroughly tired, being that it’s nearly 2 in the morning by the time you did your interviews and made your decisions.

You reach toward the single rose that is sitting on a tray in the middle of the coffee table.

You remember being on their side not too long ago; having that rose stare at you, almost tauntingly, for hours on end as you sat through the first night, wondering if you would be the one that got the rose.

First impressions mean a lot, and most that receive the first impression rose stay until at least the final four.

Whispers break out among the men as you fumble with the rose between your fingers.

“It’s a big moment! You hear Joshua say to Hyungwon on your side.

“Indeed it is!” you respond, making them laugh at the embarrassment of being heard.

Taking a deep breath, you lock eyes with him and shyly ask, “Taehyung, can you come with me for a second?”

His eyes widen in surprise for a moment, before a ginormous smile makes its way onto Taehyung’s face as he stands up. “Of course.”

You grab onto his hand as he approaches you, turning around and walking to a more secluded area of the house.

You can already hear the sighs of disappointment and side comments begin to stir up in the living room from the response of your decision. You tune out the background noise and lead him to the parlour, sitting in front of the fireplace.

You look at him, blushing when you realize his smile hasn’t faded.

“So, Taehyung,” you begin.

“Tonight started off by you coming in on my dream vehicle, a hot pink Jet X, just like my childhood idol, Zoey Brooks.” you both laugh at that.

“The fact that you took the time to look into the things I like just to make a grand entrance already meant a lot. Then you catch me right after a not-so-great conversation and manage to make my mood do a complete 180 just from a smile. That song that you sang tonight was absolutely beautiful, I never wanted to stop listening to it. I loved every second I spent with you tonight, and I never felt a lull in conversation at any point. You made me feel completely comfortable from the moment we met. So, Taehyung, will you accept this rose?”

Taehyung’s eyes squeeze shut in happiness, opening them back up and saying, “Yes! Absolutely!” with uncontained laughs leaving his mouth.

You both stand up, smiles adorning your faces, as you pin the red rose to his right lapel on his suit jacket.

“It looks good on you,” you flirt, tilting the rose a bit before reaching your arms around his neck in a hug.

He wraps his arms around your waist so tight you think you might snap.

You decided to be bold and kiss his cheek when you pull back, only he had the same idea and ended up kissing your cheek as well. You both release a string of giggles.

“Great minds think alike,” Taehyung proclaims.

“Let’s see if that’s true now,” you softly speak back, leaning your head in towards his.

He meets you halfway down, his lips placing themselves on yours gently, as if asking if what he is doing is okay.

You pull back briefly, only to move back in for another kiss.

This time, Taehyung is less hesitant, placing his lips more firmly against yours for a few seconds.

His lips felt as soft as they looked; the taste of Coca-Cola on his lips surprises you, since you could have sworn he had been drinking bourbon that night.

You peck his lips one last time before pulling away from him and out of his arms. “I thought you drank bourbon tonight?” you asked, grabbing his hand and walking out with him.

“I had a drink, yeah. I’m not big on alcohol though, so I switched to soda after one glass. I’m also a major lightweight, and I didn’t feel like making a fool out of myself tonight of all nights.”

You smile at him, stopping right outside of the frame to the living room.

“Thank you for the rose, I swear I haven’t been this happy in a long time,” Taehyung admits.

“Thank you for accepting it,” you counter. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

You squeeze his hands one last time before walking back into the lounge where your producers were working.

Two hours later, the men and yourself had all finished being interviewed. It was officially time for the first rose ceremony.

Four in the morning is a strange time for anyone to be awake.

You are quite used to the late nights from work, but it’s clear that most of these men aren’t.

A majority of them you caught dozing off from the TVs in your lounge, showing what the cameras walking around were filming.

Next to you, the grand host Mr. Bang himself was knocked out, and had been for about an hour or so. Chan walked into the room after setting the dining room up into a good set-up for the rose ceremony.

“Alright Y/N, I’m going to gather the men in the dining room for the rose ceremony. We’re going to line them up, start filming, then have you walk back in to start the rose ceremony. Then we can all go home, sound good to you?”

“That sounds excellent,” you sigh, nudging Mr. Bang in the side.

“C’mon Bang, you have to be the hostess with the mostess for a bit longer, then I promise you can resume your slumber.”

He awoke from his nap, stretching a bit before one of the makeup artists came by and swiped some more concealer under his eyes for the sake of the cameras.

“Alright, I’m ready to be the hostess with the mostess. Even though I’m not a hostess.” You laugh at his ridiculousness, following him out of the lounge.

Bang walks into the dining room, taking his place by the table that holds eighteen roses on a tray. You would be sending home six men tonight. With Taehyung already having a rose, that leaves eighteen more to give out.

You thank your producer for having you practice how to pin the roses beforehand, it would definitely make the whole process go a lot faster and be a lot less painful for both parties.

Chan is next to you, waiting for your cue from the cameraman in the other room. Once he receives the signal, he pushes you forward a bit.

Your silver heels hitting the tile floor are pretty much the only sound in the room. You can tell that everyone is nervous, and honestly, you are a bit too.

You stand next to the rose table, glancing down at the multitude of roses being served literally on a silver platter. Bang is next to you, speaking to the gentlemen.

“Gentlemen, good evening, and welcome to your first rose ceremony. Most of you know how this goes, but for those that don’t, I’ll lay it out for you all. If you hear your name called, step forward to accept a rose. Taehyung, you got the first impression rose; congratulations, you have nothing to worry about tonight. As for the rest of you, if you do not hear your name, you will be sent home immediately. So, I wish you all the best, and if you’re ready, Y/N, you may begin.”

Bang backs up towards the door, merely an onlooker as you begin the process of handing out the roses.

You look at the faces of all of the men standing before you. Taking a step forward away from the table, you suddenly feel a lot more weight on your shoulders than you did ten minutes ago.

You clear your throat before speaking.

“First of all, I’d like to thank all of you for being here tonight. I know I kept saying it throughout the night but I cannot stress enough how much it means to me that you all took the time and sacrificed things to be here. It was such a great night, but this is the hard part where I have to say goodbye. Even though I have to say goodbye to some of you tonight, I am still hopeful that I can find love on this journey and I’m so thankful for that.”

Pausing after your speech, you take a look down at the platter again, grabbing a rose this time.

You fumble around with it in your hands, looking up at the men before beginning the process of handing out roses.

“Hoseok.”

He smiles from his spot on the far left end of the second row, stepping out and making the short walk towards you.

“Hoseok, will you accept this rose?”

“Always.”

(A/N: my Potterhead heart is hurting)

Smiling, you pin the rose to the lapel of his jacket, hugging him before he turns to walk back to his spot.

Picking up the next rose, you call out Yoongi’s name.

A small smile graces his face as you pin the rose to his lapel, hugging him and continuing the process for a handful more boys, including klutzy Namjoon, skateboarding Jooheon, and even ostrich egg owner Seungcheol.

It is now down to the last rose, and there are seven men left: Jaehyun, Jeonghan, Taeil, Hyunwoo, Minhyuk, Joshua, and Jeongguk.

Bang steps out from the shadows of the room as you stare at the final rose.

“Gentlemen, this is the final rose this evening. If your name is not called, you will be going home,” he turns to you. “Whenever you’re ready, Y/N.”

You grab onto the rose, before looking back up at the group of men remaining.

You had been between two people all night, feeling a good connection with both but knowing that one needed to go home. You stared back and forth discreetly between the two of them, before settling on one and calling out his name.

“Jeongguk.”

You see him let out a breath of relief as he steps down a level to make his way over to you.

“Jeongguk, will you accept this rose?”

“Yes, I will,” he smiles.

Pinning the rose onto his jacket, you whisper to him, “Thank you for not making me attempt to pin this onto a bunny suit.”

He giggles at you before leaning in for a quick hug. Now back in his spot, Bang comes forward again.

“Gentlemen, I’m sorry, but if your name wasn’t called, please say your goodbyes.”

The men continued to do the standard bro high-five, some men hug, some shake hands as you watch from your spot at the front of the room.

One by one, each man makes his way to you to hug you goodbye, wishing you the best and thanking you for the opportunity.

You never understood why the people leaving always thanked the Bachelor/Bachelorette for the opportunity - you’re not the one who casted them.

Still, you accepted their gratitude and sent them on their way.

By the time the rose ceremony has wrapped up, the sun is beginning to peak over the horizon, signaling the start of a new day and the end of your own.

The staff brings in flutes of mimosas, everyone grabbing one then turning to look at you.

“So here’s to surviving the first night, for making amazing impressions and for continuing the search for love,” you drawl out. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!” everyone yells out, clinking glasses and sipping on their breakfast cocktail.

‘One week down, nine to go,’ you think to yourself. Your journey has only just begun.

Week 1 Callout Order Results:

Kim, Taehyung (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Music Producer, Hometown: Daegu)

Jung, Hoseok (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Journalist, Hometown: Gwangju)

Min, Yoongi (aged 29, 5’ 8.5”, Professional Pianist, Hometown: Daegu)

Kim, Mingyu (aged 24/25, 6’ 2”, Chiropractor, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Taeyong (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Sales Account Executive, Hometown: Seoul)

Chae, Hyungwon (aged 28, 5’ 11”, College Professor, Hometown: Gwangju)

Kim, Namjoon (aged 27, 5’ 11”, Pharmacy Technician, Hometown: Ilsan)

Choi, Seungcheol (aged 26, 5’ 10”, IT Consultant, Hometown: Daegu)

Jeon, Wonwoo (aged 25, 6’ 0”, Software Engineer, Hometown: Gyeongsangnam-do)

Lee, Jooheon (aged 27, 5’ 10”, Graphic Designer, Hometown: Seoul)

Yoo, Kihyun (aged 28, 5’ 9”, Dental Assistant, Hometown: Ilsan)

Kim, Seokjin (aged 29, 5’ 10.5”, Physical Therapist, Hometown: Gwacheon)

Park, Jimin (aged 26, 5’ 8.5”, Social Media Coordinator, Hometown: Busan)

Seo, Johnny (aged 27, 6’ 0”, Translator, Hometown: Chicago)

Lee, Seokmin (aged 25, 5’ 10.5”, Creative Director, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Kwon, Soonyoung (aged 25, 5’ 10”, Executive Assistant, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Shin, Hoseok (Wonho) (aged 30, 5’ 10”, Fitness Coach, Hometown: Anyang)

Im, Changkyun (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Marketing Consultant, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jeon, Jeongguk (aged 24, 5’ 10”, Wedding Videographer, Hometown: Busan)

Hong, Joshua (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Pastry Chef, Hometown: Los Angeles)

Jung, Jaehyun (aged 25, 5’ 11”, Realtor, Hometown: Seoul)

Lee, Minhyuk (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Sales Rep, Hometown: Gwangju)

Moon, Taeil (aged 27, 5’ 7”, Attorney, Hometown: Seoul)

Sohn, Hyunwoo (aged 29, 5’ 11”, Mechanic, Hometown: Changdong)

Yoon, Jeonghan (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Research Assistant, Hometown: Hwaseong)

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