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wongyuuu · 6 months

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red | csc

pairing: seungcheol x f!reader genre: smut word count: 1.6k warnings: minors do not interact, kissing, a little bit of dirty talking, swearing, oral (male), masturbation (female), unprotected sex (please wrap it up kids), sort ot public sex, car sex a/n: not entirely sure how this one happened but here we are i guess. this was not how the story was supposed to go, i had different plans and maybe i'll write them later. if you filled the form to be tagged in my fics but was not tagged for this one, it means that you are either a minor or i didn't find your age anywhere in your blog.

this is part of my series, seventeen as songs from red (ts)

Seungcheol ➝ Red Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly ↳ the sight of seungcheol driving had always been your favorite but when both of you were trying to escape while being chased down by the police, you couldn't help but make things a little more… interesting

“Baby, no, you can’t be serious” Seungcheol complained, his voice a weird mixture of moan and groan as he looked between the road and your hand that was dangerously close to the waist of his jeans.

He looked at you again, but your eyes were focused on the rear windscreen, a small smile playing on your lips as the cops struggled to follow along. Clearly, the police academy should provide driving lessons, because there was no way those men were actually that bad at driving.

“It’s going to be fun” you whispered against his skin.

You pressed your lips over his jawline, right where it connected with his ear, going down his neck, lightly biting into his skin. Your kisses trailed down his neck until his collarbone, where you pressed them over his sweet spot, sucking his skin hard enough to leave a mark.

You enjoyed knowing that his skin was marked by you. It was only fair that he too carried marks after leaving a few of them himself all over your body. It had been hard to explain to your sister, ever so naive, how you had gotten those bruises. She saw you as sincere enough, pure enough, to believe that some of it had been due to your clumsy nature. Good thing she never saw the ones right above your panties and the two on your inner thighs.

“We're going to get caught”

Seungcheol had always been the first one to throw any sort of caution out the window and he was never one to tell you no. If you wanted something, it was yours. If he didn't have what you wanted, he was sure to get it for you. So when you undid the button of his jeans and slid your hand in, pushing his underwear and pants down just enough to set his semi-hard cock free, Seungcheol didn't complain.

His words of caution had been a lot more for you than for him. You had been his quiet and shy girl, who sometimes got scared when the cars were too loud. He wasn't certain when that new version of you had come out, but he knew he liked it a lot.

Truth be told, it wasn't really a new version of you, but a you that was only his to see and know about.

“Do you really want Kyle back there to see me choke on your dick?” you pressed your lips to the corner of his mouth “Imagine the view he's going to get… my ass in this tiny skirt in the air, you dick in my mouth, my eyes filled with tears because you're too big to fit into my mouth but I want to take you all way”

God, he loved it when your mouth got a little dirty.

Seungcheol grabbed your hair, pushing your head down into his cock. You smiled, finally happy that he had given it. You loved that he was willing to pull back but also loved that he didn't hesitate to say yes to you sucking him off.

You licked him, from the base to tip. Your hand pumped him once, twice, three times. A fourth one just for good measure, to be certain that he was almost fully hard before you took him into your mouth.

The moan that left Seungcheol's lips caused a wave of tingles to dance through your body, all the way to your core and you couldn’t help but moan too.

The sounds he made while you sucked him had always turned you on. So to have him driving — probably your favorite thing about him — and moaning for you, while his hand was tangled in your hair, forcing your head down until his dick touched the back of your throat turned you on in ways that you didn't think were possible.

You had never been one for public sex. Not just public, but anywhere near someone else, or where someone else could hear the faintest sound. But with Seungcheol all of your inhibitions had been left behind and he was all that you could see and feel and want.

He went from the hot driver who helped you escape an illegal race, to the hot driver/boyfriend you were sucking off while being chased down by the cops.

“Balls too” you managed to pull back long enough to say.

You pushed Seuncheol's jeans a little further down, glad he was willing to help by raising him hips just enough. Once all of him was out for you, you leaned over him again. Your hand was on his cock while your mouth was busy a little more down.

He let out a grunt when you grazed him with your teeth, moaning again when you took him again. His hand was back in your hair, maybe it had never even left, guiding you up and down, at the pace he liked the most. As if you didn't know it already, as if you hadn't memorized it.

“I love your mouth, so much,” he said, holding your head down “You take me so well, baby”

Tears started to form in the corner of your eyes, spit Dripping out and coating all of him. You snaked your free hand into your soaked panties, needing some sort of pressure too. You moaned when the tip of your middle finger grazed your clit, the tiniest bit of stimulation enough to make your head almost spin.

“Are you touching yourself, baby?” whichever incoherent sound left your mouth was enough of confirmation to Seungcheol “I bet you're pulsing around nothing, begging to be filled. Ready for me”

You moaned again, rubbing your clit a little more desperately than before. If you were going to get Seungcheol to his release, it was only fair that you got some sort of your own too.

Seungcheol looked at the rearview mirror for a second, when he reached the exit he was looking for, opting to get away from the main road. Those cops weren't aware of the alternative road, so you were almost out of any danger — if such a thing had even existed, for a moment at least.

He pulled you up, his hand on your jaw. He loved to turn you into a mess, with tear-stained cheeks and spit all over you. Your hand never left your pussy when he pulled you to him. He kissed you for a second, doing his best to keep the car moving, still on the road.

“Come ride me” he whispered against your lips.

Your eyes gleamed and you moved, pulling your skirt up and shoving your panties to the side. Seungcheol pushed his seat back, as far as he could go, to make room for you.

The position was a little awkward but it didn't matter as you angled his tip with your entrance, slowly coming down on him.

A long moan left your lips, until he was all the way inside you. You loved the burning sensation he always gave you, almost as if he was too much, like he wasn't going to fit in you. But he always did.

“How are you even tighter?” he moaned, his mind going blank for a second at the overwhelming feeling of taking you in public, of you riding him, of how your pussy sucked him in in desperation, of taking you bare.

Slowly, like torture, to started to move up and down, as much as you could. You moved your hips up, until he almost completely out and then let yourself fall into him.

“Cheol” you begged, for what it was uncertain.

You wanted, needed, all of him, all over you.

“Take it, baby, it's yours”

Your moves became frantic, a mixture of bouncing on him, while grinding on him, searching for as much friction as you possibly could.

Seuncheol moved your hand from his neck to your pussy, pressing your own fingers to open yourself up even further, giving you more room for friction.

“Cheol…” you moaned again, your voice louder as you moved over him “You're so so deep like this”

He no longer could take it. He pulled the car to the side of the road. The police had long been left behind and he had gotten to the point of not caring anymore. You were over him, almost on breaking point. He cared about getting you off, about seeing your eyes roll as your orgasm took over.

“I got you, baby,” he said while kissing you “I've got you”

Seungcheol held your hips and started to pound into you at a relentless pace. He wanted to chase his high while giving you yours.

You moaned into his shoulder when he pressed a hand to your groin at the same time you started to rub your clit again, matching his pace.

“Cum with me, baby”

His words sent your body into a frenzy, your orgasm taking over as your entire body shook. Seungcheol swallowed all of your incoherent moans and words, his high following yours. He only stopped moving when all that was left was the small spams on your legs.

You leaned your head back when Seunchheol tugged at your hair. He loved that expression on you, when you were completely fucked out and pleased. He liked knowing that he had made it happen.

“Hi” he whispered

You laughed a little, your eyes still closed.

“So sex while the cops chase us turns you on, huh?” he said kissing your neck, enjoying the small goosebumps erupting on your skin “Fully noted”

taglist: @wonwooz1, @mirtaspace, @feat-sun, @belladaises, @immabecreepin, @miriamxsworld, @aaniag, @byunparklimchoi, @k-drama-adict, @maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr, @roguesthetic, @sofix-hc7, @moonlightgrleric, @mixling-blog, @haowonbins, @valgracia, @slut4donghyuck

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hyunjinniesgirl · 2 years

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☆.｡.:*skz as types of couples.｡.:*☆

hi besties!! i haven't posted in so long so here's a lil ot8 fluff i've had in my drafts for a while :') pls note that i'll also be renovating my blog and updating my tag system over the next few weeks months so if my blog looks weird n inconsistent that's why!! okie i hope u enjoy this one!! :33

wc: 2k (roughly 250 words per member)

genre: fluff!! members x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of food

bang chan - the dependable couple

you and chan are the boys’ go-tos when they need any kind of help. since chan is their leader, you often pick up on his habits and take care of the kids without anyone asking you to. if one day one of the members looks particularly down you’ll chat with them and keep them company in attempts to liven their spirits the same way you know chan would if he was there. it may sound weird to others, but chan fell in love with you through the love and care you showed his members. his favorite thing about you is how compassionate and empathetic you are without expecting anything in return, but of course chan does his best to be everything you deserve in a partner.

the boys will also come to you guys for relationship advice!! if they’re having troubles with their partners the two of you always offer a supportive shoulder, listening to them and helping them resolve the problem in a healthy manner!! the members feel comfortable around you both enough to talk about every aspect of their relationship (even the things you don’t particularly want to know about) and you and chan happily give them a safe space to feel and express their feelings. you two are the designated relationship repair duo and their partners have no clue, they genuinely just think the other boys came to their senses on their own lmfao.

lee know - the practically married couple

all of the members constantly make fun of you two for playing house in the dorm. you don’t even live there but you could often be seen making dinner or reorganizing their fridge (it’s all minho’s ingredients anyway). when you’re bickering over something stupid the boys will make jokes like “ugh the parents are fighting again” and it makes you giggle to yourself but you carry on with the bit for funsies “i’m not your parent until minho gets on his knee and gives me a ring!” “ah jagiya stop with that, i thought we agreed not in front of the kids!”

despite the bickering—because we all know minho is an instigator—the two of you are seen being sweet to each other a lot. minho likes to keep his arm around you so it’s easy to pull you in for loooong soft kisses whenever he pleases, looking down at you with soft eyes and teasing you before pulling you in for another hearty kiss. the other members just groan when they walk in on you two making out softly on the couch. you’re the deep clean the house on sunday mornings while listening to love songs couple, getting distracted when your song comes on. your cleaning supplies are long forgotten as the two of you dance around the living room, minho spinning and dipping you theatrically making you explode in a fit of giggles before he holds you close, your back to his chest, and sways you in place while singing the rest of the song into your ear.

bonus: the two of you are kid and pet magnets. soonie doongie and dori adore you, and your little cousin never wants to let go of minho’s hand when he comes with you to family parties.

seo changbin - the family oriented couple

even if you aren’t too fond of your family, you’re fond of changbin’s family. changbin introduced you to his family early in your relationship and you knew there wouldn’t be any way around it. you were scared at first, knowing that his mom and sister play a big role in his life and it didn’t help that every time he was on the phone with them he’d talk about you endlessly, praising you the same way he raps—so fast his mom and sister are scared he isn’t even breathing on the other end of the line. of course, the initial meeting goes smoothly and you’re a regular at the seo household. now that he has you, changbin’s mom definitely makes him do more domestic stuff in front of you like help her make dinner and help her clean to show you just how husband material he is hehe.

baby. photos. so many of them. when you get on texting basis, binnie’s mom will send you baby pictures she finds of changbin and while he doesn’t get embarrassed by it, it’ll become so frequent to the point where if you’re cooing at something on your phone he’ll assume its his mom. your lock screen is def a picture of baby changbin wearing a cute lil sunhat squinting in the sun, and then you unlock your phone and your home screen is big changbin wearing a sunhat squinting in the sun :D

hwang hyunjin - the romantic couple

i feel like this is so obvious but being with hyunjin is like being the main character in a romance novel. that boy does all the puppy love stuff except he’s actually in love with you. he buys you flowers on his way back from the jyp building, buys you books and writes poems on the back of the receipts, sings to you when you can’t sleep, and always takes the time to understand where you’re coming from if he unknowingly upsets you. the romantic and grand gestures never end with him because he refuses to let the honeymoon phase die, no matter how hard it gets.

spontaneous trips together are your “thing.” when hyunjin has three or more days off he’ll always want to go on a short trip even if the destination is only a few train stops away. truly the king of romantic staycations!! once you get to your destination your first mission is to stake out the pool and swim together if the weather is nice :’) hyunjin likes to have swimming races with you but when you’re both tired and out of energy, he’ll wrap your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck talking softly while floating around the pool. with the sun setting in the background and hyunjin’s warm body against you, you feel completely relaxed and grateful for the alone time with him. you explore the city for the next few days taking candid photos of each other with hyunjin’s fancy camera :')

bonus: the two of you definitely have a scrapbook or box of film photos and they’re just filled with cute goofy pictures of each other :’)

han jisung - the lazy day couple

your favorite thing to do together is rot in bed and watch anime. the two of you do go on dates from time to time but nothing beats cuddling on the couch and watching tv with an abundance of snacks surrounding you. the two of you would be blissfully catching up on anime when one of you shifts and accidentally sits on the remote, exiting the show you were watching. you both look at each other with wide eyes, irritated like “why tf would you do that you just ruined the suspense” and when you fish the remote from under your butt ji makes a fake tsking noise. you also nap all day together when he has a day off after continuous exhausting schedules, losing track of time just falling asleep in each other's arms then waking up to kiss and talk sleepily then go back to sleep.

you settle everything with rock paper scissors, always. winner picks the food and loser pays. ji loses almost every time to the point where you think he’s doing it on purpose (not quite sure how you lose rock paper scissors on purpose but ji tries so that you don’t have to pay and you can eat whatever you want :D). you also do rock paper scissors to determine who gets up to turn off the lights, who throws away the trash, who actually gets up to get the food from the delivery person. watching jisung eat is the highlight of your day, watching his puffy cheeks fill up with food, you just peck kisses on him while he eats.

lee felix - the cuddly couple

yongbok skinship king :’) he just wants you closer even if you’re nose to nose, and you feel the same way. let’s say you weren’t very into skinship at first but the more felix would sneak up behind you, wrap his arms delicately around your waist and speak softly in your ear, the more you would fold for the sunshine man. when the two of you go to the farmer’s market he always holds your hand, only letting go to check how ripe a few avocados are before grabbing your hand once again. he just really can’t resist touching you in one way or another so that everyone knows that you’re a couple, but not even in a possessive way, he just feels comfort knowing that he can express his affection for you publicly. felix is definitely the type of guy to rub his thumb in small circles while your fingers are intertwined. and you don’t mind one bit.

he doesn’t mind being affectionate with you around the boys because he’s equally as affectionate with them. he will definitely kiss everyone’s forehead goodnight because he doesn’t want them to feel left out when he kisses yours. he feels no shame kissing you in front of the members, though they are typically rated pg kisses, just pecks or closed mouth kisses, he just isn’t shy with affection. he’ll call you sweet nicknames around them too like honey, sweetheart, baby, literally anything but your name.

bonus: bokkie likes playing video games but he likes them better when you’re sitting on his lap or straddling him like a koala and he just snakes his arms around you to play (i know that doesn’t sound too comfy but the thought of it is v v cute to me ok.)

kim seungmin - the couple that no one believes is a couple

kim seungmin reserves his softest moments for you and only you. in private, seungmo kisses your forehead, holds your face in his hands to bump noses and scratches your head when you lay it on his lap, but when you’re around other people he won’t even think about being outwardly affectionate with you aside from a mere “jagi” when trying to get your attention. this raised problems at the beginning stages of your relationship because you had assumed his lack of affection towards you around other people was because he was embarrassed of you. in reality seungmo just wanted you to know that those moments are special to him and he didn’t think your friend circles needed to see the two of you like that. after all of this gets cleared up, minnie makes sure to pull you onto his lap or wrap an arm around you whenever you’re with the other members or your friends.

again i feel like this is so obvious but he likes to tease!! sometimes you’ll pretend to be offended by one of his jokes and fake pout until he holds your face in his hands and kisses all over your cheeks, forehead, and nose. you’ll get him back by threatening to spoil the book or manga he’s currently reading which is a very effective tactic and it shuts him right up.

bonus: in the mornings minnie will make the two of you coffee (or tea if you prefer) and bring it back to you in bed so that you can enjoy your morning together talking about the dreams that you had the night before and your plans for the day while sipping on your drinks hehe

yang jeongin - the aesthetic couple

if you look up the definition of boyfriend in the dictionary you’ll find a picture of yang jeongin. and if you go through his camera roll, it’s all pictures of you. you with a printed face mask on, you and the big soft serve ice cream you bought at the fair, you holding the big stuffed bear he won you, and every single picture is instagram worthy. your boyfriend has truly been trained well because every picture he takes of you is perfect and all of your friends are jealous. the two of you also make whoever you’re with take plandid pictures of the two of you, especially when you coordinate outfits.

the two of you coordinate outfits so much that even on days when you don’t intend to, the color of your top and the color of jeongin’s bottoms match effortlessly. And don’t even get me started on shoes. jeongin’s shoe addiction is everyone’s problem, especially yours. because now you’re downing in shoes that match with him; same style, different color. keeping up with the clothes theme, you often steal each other's clothes to the point where you barely remember what belongs to who. innie would be running late for a lesson and be frustrated because he wanted to wear a particular hoodie but couldn’t find it anywhere. that evening on facetime with you he notices you’re wearing the hoodie and just stares at you with his adorable puppy eyes. “what’s wrong, baby?” “that’s not your hoodie!” “yes, it is!” “no it isn’t, i wore it a few weeks ago!” “because i let you borrow it!”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

thank you for reading!! please reblog, leave an ask, or shoot me a message if you enjoyed :') all my luv always <3

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lyneira · 1 year

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♡ How to earn the lion's love ♡

-> things you can do to make this lazy lion love you to the moon and back

leona x reader (fluff!)

check out malleus' version here! -> ♡ how to gain the dragon's affection ♡

Lull him to sleep!

Yes, I know he can easily fall asleep on his own already, but if you were there with him, he would sleep 10x better! Do anything to relax him. Let him rest his head on your lap, run your fingers through his smooth mane, or maybe even hum a soft tune and he will be at peace.

The first time you have him lay his head on your lap, he'll feel a bit tense. Sure, he's used to others doing things for him, but he's not used to being given such intimate affection. Assure him that it's okay to be this vulnerable. Though, you needn't say anything at all. Tell him by gently rubbing his temples, enveloping him with the warmth of your hands, and feel as he allows himself to let go as the weight of his head falls deeper into your lap. If he wakes up and sees you smiling tenderly down at him, he might immediately pop up off your lap. He'd do this, not because you startled him, but because his heart can't handle such a beautiful sight and he'd need to hide the faint blush on his cheeks.

Shower him with compliments!

This guy has a lot of pride and an ego that needs to frequently be fed. Just do it, will ya? Treat him like the king he is because at home, they simply don't treat him right. But no flattering him! He'll get irritated by your insincerity (and he'll probably call you a bootlicker lol 💀) if you do.

Don't allow him to tell you "never mind" or "it doesn't matter" when it comes to talking about his feelings or his opinions!

Even if he says "it's a pain" to try to explain it and will stubbornly attempt to keep his mouth shut, be persistent in wanting to hear what he has to say! If you're far more stubborn than he is, he'll eventually let up. Again, back home, he has often been treated with disregard for being the second son, so do the opposite and go all out with it! Make him feel heard and his appreciation for you will skyrocket. The foreign feeling of opening up to someone may be weird to him, but if that someone is you, then it's a feeling he'd be willing to get used to.

Be appreciative and acknowledge his efforts!

He’ll probably shrug you off, saying that he only did it for his own selfish reasons and whatnot, but stand your ground! Deep down, it warms his heart that you see him, and that his accomplishments and efforts aren't going unnoticed. He might say that he doesn’t need your thanks. Even so, a little appreciation can’t hurt from time to time, can it? And it'll go a long way too. You’ll notice that he’ll be doing those things you've thanked him for more frequently. (He'll act kind enough when he's around you that Ruggie would be like, "Hey, y/n...what the heck have you done to Leona?!" 😨 lol)

Simply play chess with him!

It doesn't matter if you're good or bad at it, play his favorite game with him and he'll enjoy it either way. If you're skillful, his competitive spirit will come out and he'll be having a fun time going against you! No worries if you're bad at it, he's willing to teach you even though he'd be like 🙄 for most of the time. But as you eagerly listen and try to grasp the tactics he teaches you, he'll subtly smile to himself. He's secretly happy you're trying to spend time with him doing what he enjoys.

Also, attempt to make it a routine with him. In his mundane life of attending classes, give him something to look forward to, (which would be getting to play chess with you)

For most of his life, Leona has been overshadowed by his brother and has lost much motivation because of it. So let him know that you see him, that you hear him, that you appreciate him, and maybe he'll come to find one of those rare motivations. That, being you 😘

a/n: now that my posts are finally showing up in the tags, I'll continue this series on this blog instead of @ne-nene-ne ! That'll include any of my other writing as well!

I realize that I might honestly be more biased towards Leona because this one was longer than Malleus' 💀 (I love both boys tho, I swear)

As for the next victim, I'm thinking of doing Azul next! then maybe Idia too 🤔

#nene writes~♡#leona x reader #leona kingscholar #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst #twst fluff

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acewritesfics · 4 months

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Past Love: Part 03 | Tommy Shelby

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Request: From anon

Fic Type: Blurb

Prompt: "I’m happiest when I’m with you." & “You feel like home to me.”

Warnings: It does allude to smut. Also alludes to cheating which I don't condone.

Word Count: 589

PART 01 | PART 02

TOMMY SHELBY MASTERLIST

As Y/N drives away from the pub, it starts to pour with rain. Near the end of the street, she pulls over unable to see clearly through the rain and her own tears. Unable to bring herself to leave, she thinks back to the last time she was truly happy.

It was the last time she was with Tommy. He surprised her, turning up on her doorstep three nights before he was to marry Grace, who Tommy had successfully distracted her from thinking about over the two days he was with her. They had spent most of the time in bed wrapped up in one another. It felt like it had before the war had turned their lives and relationship upside down.

“You stupid fool. You love him,” she cries talking about herself. Feeling angry at herself, she thinks about what could have been if she had just been a little selfish and didn’t put everyone else ahead of herself.

Now was the time to put not only her wants and needs but also Tommy’s above the others. Stepping out of her vehicle, she starts making her way back to the Garrison. By the time she reaches the doorstep she’s soaked head to toe from the rain.

As she goes to reach for the door handle the door swings open revealing Tommy who looks stunned to see her standing there.

"I’m happiest when I’m with you," she begins to tell him, her tears mixing with the rain drops. “For so long I have been putting every other woman first, not listening to what I want or what you want, and I can’t do it anymore,” she pauses to take a breath. “I love you; I need you and, I wa-”

She’s cut off by Tommy’s lips crashing to hers, kissing her with all the love he feels for her as he pulls her close to him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she holds him as tight as she can as the kiss becomes sloppy. She’s afraid if she lets go and if she opens her eyes and ends the kiss, that he’ll disappear, her mind having played a cruel joke on her.

Tommy eventually breaks the kiss and lets her go long enough to open the door back up and pull her back inside, locking it. Within a matter of seconds his lips are on hers again, deepening the already heated kiss.

Sitting on his lap facing him, wrapped in his arms as both catch their breath and ease their racing hearts, with the musky smell of sex lingering around them, Y/N runs her fingers along his forehead, moving his hear out of his face so she can see those beautiful blue eyes she loves so much. “I need to go find me a room for the night and you need to go home and talk to Lizzy. I won’t be the other woman.”

“You’ve never been the other woman,” he assures her. “They were just a means to try and get over you.”

“You still need to go home,” she says going to move off his lap, only for him to pull her back down on it.

“You feel like home to me,” he says as he moves his hand to the back of her neck and massages it a little. “You are my home. Let me have tonight with you and I’ll talk to Lizzy in the morning.”

Against her better judgement, which was long gone by now, she nods and leans in, kissing him again.

TAGGED: @chapter-in-my-old-diary - @hanawrites404 - @goblinjnr - @halsteadbrasil - @forgottenpeakywriter - @star-ggirl - @iceman-kazansky - @alexxavicry - @galactict3a - @crispynutella - @il0vebeingdelulu - @nicole-19s-world

Bold means your @ didn't come up when I tried to tag you. Here's a post I found that could help if your not able to be tagged: WHY OTHERS CAN'T TAG YOUR BLOG

Sometimes your blog will be linked after posted but I don't think you get the notification. Tags have been weird lately. I might start putting the tags in the comments. Let me know if you get the notification.

#acewritesfics repost #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinders x reader

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anantaru · 5 months

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You think rape is funny? Maybe once you fucking experience it you won’t. Fucking cunt.

hello. so I'll just jump right into this. tw. discourse tw. mentioning r*pe.

@saetoru made this claim about me:

saetoru, could you add proof at least? i can not remember a time where i would repost a joke like that so i'd love for you to show me proof please, this is all I'm asking.

also how was it on your dash, on your own dash and @dottores dash, when you have never followed me? + but maybe it was the for you feature that was the same for the both of you.

accusing someone without proof is not okay, again, i can not remember doing this so if you have a screenshot add it so i can remember and apologize, but i can't do anything because i don't remember saying a joke with SA in mind.

before that i just want to mention: i don't think r*pe is funny, i'm not a dark content blog either so i do not really reblog dark content things because i'm sure most of my readers don't want that + I'm just not into that as well. the only joke i was "called out" for once is when i used a "i want xyz character to smack their laptop on my face or tits" which i got from an andrew garfield interview where he read his thirst tweets out loud, at that time i just deleted it because it's alright.

dottores, your mutuals, two of them to be exact, have sent me multiple of your personal blog hate posts about me and not once, have you made one where you talked about me saying an SA joke. you have only claimed that i am a cunt and that i am a gatekeeping bitch hence why i believed this must be the reason why you would suddenly hate me despite the fact we never interacted.

now, I want to address this next, this is from @dottores post which when i got it sent to me, i would've wished she just tagged me right away and said it with her chest, more so not let saetoru talk about her experience but just handle this with me.

^ this is cat @dottores saying i got it wrong.

^ this is why i believed she meant it just like i said it, why do you go through blogs that grow really fast's notes in the first place? where do you take the right to police other blogs like that when i'm sure your blogs aren't empty of blank blogs either. it is hard to get rid of all of them but i'm sure we all try at least, we don't need you to make us feel bad or come off as belittling, if you have found out a way to get rid of every blank blog, do enlighten us please.

+ at that time of this reblog icks?? post that saetoru added, my blog was blowing up so when a moot of mine (which was also theirs at a time) saw this, they had sent it to me.

"creators that grow really fast" and nowhere has she mentioned she only went through only her own moots notes, aside from that apologies but i still find this weird, i don't think you should invest so much time in other people's blog but this is my opinion.

this is the next thing she said:

i don't know if dottores meant me there but i have never once harassed you nor sent you hate anywhere, again you cannot just accuse me of stuff like that when you have also never reached out to me. The things i claimed about you guys in your callout, i have text messages of the person (your moot) who sent it to me.

but back again, the only thing i did do was block dottores on tumblr and then later ao3 when i saw you in tags, which you made fun of me for later:

also i got this ask that time:

"who blocks on ao3?" i do, ao3 is the platform i use the most so why is it funny when i use the block button? + i just like to point something out here, "they must've clicked to read and realize it was me" you can think that if you want i don't mind, but let me ask you this: i have seen you in tags hence why i was able to block you, but how did you notice i did? you can't see me in tags so surely you didnt click on my work, so you must've searched up my user for whatever reason?

and i know this is about me because she added the "this person called me chronically online" i couldn't find the post but what she was talking about is me calling other writers who reblogged that one "ick post" with not needed things such as "when writers cant characterize a character" or "when they only write headcanons", i have plenty of screenshots of that post but since i don't want to use up all my space here, i don't see why i should show their reblogs from this.

there were plenty of people like that, which reblogged horrible things there so i called everyone under that post chronically online, not just you dottores.

yeah :) like people making fun of someone for blocking them for their own comfort. i just don't want to see you, that's all, but i have never send you hate asks nor harassed you, the only thing i did was block the blogs your own mutuals exposed to me.

^ this is after i felt bad for you after the callout.

this is coming from your own mutuals, i have never alone claimed you guys are jealous of me nor is there anything to be jealous about. i am just a blog, this here is not being popular, no one knows who i am and i do not need to pride myself in having a big blog on tumblr.com, and my readers know that. we are all the same here.

i didn't mean you here saetoru but i understand that it sounded that way, the phrasing was a little off, for that i apologise that i made you upset with this, english is not my first language, i'm french, and when it comes to this callout post i was so fed up with it that i just posted it without looking for grammar mistakes etc. + this is about one of your friends who deleted their personal the second i announced i got their user, that was something with kaeya, when they sent me a hate ask. i won't expose it here but that person was also the one who blacklisted a friend of mine for liking itto.

i think there is a lot more but i will stop it there, this could've ended differently and i'm sad that it ended this way. I wish you all the best and i mean it, i hope we all can learn from this and move on, write on tumblr for our favorite characters because it's fun and stay away from drama. If you made it this far thank you 💓 — yoru

#tw discourse #tw rape

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miscling · 4 months

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About Miscling

This is a horny blog for horny blog things. Please don't interact if you're a minor/under 18, go away, shoo. if you follow me, make sure to have some indication of your age in your bio or pinned

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

i am nameless, so call me whatever you like, lin is fine if you need a name. i am a girl, toy, doll, cow, kitty, slut, and ditz. i like to talk to people and am not scary at all, so send asks and dms about anything at all as much as you like. i'll try to respond to everyone!

i am an obedient good girl, who likes being praised. i like being given tasks to do and then be praised for doing the task!

This is a hornyblog that mostly follows other horny and trans blogs. i am a trans woman who has a cunt, i am also autistic and have adhd.

i would like to get to know other poly queer trans people who are very kinky and would especially like messages/follows from them. i am a fun trans sub looking for other trans people ^^ i am mostly T4T, but cis people are fun to play with too! I am in the UK, and would desperately like to hear from any other queer trans people that are also here.

i (re)blog about edging, hypno kink, bdsm, fetishwear, tickling, masochism, petplay (i'm a kitty), hucows/lactation, monsterfucking, CNC, mindbreaking, dollification, dronification, and a lot of generally weird horny things that i'm into. i'm an exhibitionist, submissive, and easily controlled by people who make me feel safe. i'm just a dumb horny girl who is controlled by her cunt. i do not consider myself a person but a toy, i am not a person in the way a cherished item or pet is not a person.

Real people don't wish they weren't people, after all.

Also, i started collecting likes on my previous pinned, saying if i got to 100 notes I'd start sharing links to my edging audios on my blog. If i carry on, and got up to 31 on my last pinned, then this one only needs to get to... 69 (hehe nice) before i'll start doing it. You should like this post if you read it!

Tags and links:

About Miscling contains every post that's about me.

You can find pics of me in Miscling Appears. (it's okay to go on a reblogging and liking spree through them) i make original posts under Miscling Rambles and posts about my lactation journey in Miscling Lactates i also make polls, which you can find in my Miscling Polls tag. you can hear my voice in the Miscling Speaks tag and over at my soundgasm page!

You can send me tasks with my ask tasks meme! I will take tasks from literally anyone ^^ you can see tasks I've done here! If you like or follow my blog, think about sending me a task as a little gift!

I learned to edge last year and was broken by a poll I ran to get permission to cum here then here and here. i hope to never cum again without being forced. i can't be forced to cum over the internet. i kept an edging diary for a while and my last orgasm was 1feb24.

I love to write, and I especially like to write about kink. Read bits about my play with Miscling Plays and stories I wrote with Miscling Writes.

Use my ask box liberally, anon or not. i'll answer near anything and you can use my ask meme tag and miscling answers to find questions to ask me (scroll the tag and use any meme you like, but copy in the questions or link the meme!)

I have a lovense wishlist (long distance remote vibrators)

I have an amazon wishlist (lingerie and random kink things)

I have a cashapp link (if you just want to tip me directly)

I have a ko-fi link! (please don't reference anything nsfw on kofi if you use this)

I'm trying to tag my kinks so i can find them when i want them, this is no guarantee that i'll tag things though. mommysub for posts about being a mommysub, goddess thoughts for religionplay where i'm a subby goddess, Bind Miscling for bondage, hit me for masochism, moo for hucow things, lee mood for tickling, oh my circuits for robot/drone things, maid day for maids, tidy up tuesday for my maid day, monsterling for monsterfucking posts, hypno gif, spiral, hypno txt, and hypnaudio, for hypno play, and hypnoslut for general hypno posts, preyling for primal play, latexcellent for rubberwear, and as i figure out others i'll add them...

I'm a slutty set of holes, a toy for others to use. Fill my mouth, cunt, and ass.

Also, I have some limits:

i have a nest partner, i won't let anything come between us

i do not like misogyny, transphobia, racism, or bigotry. This applies to kink too.

i don't like possessive language, only people i trust can own me

please don't try to make me cum or ask/tell me to

don't call me a bitch or a puppy. i like puppy petplayers a lot, but i am a kitty petplayer.

i don't like being treated as inferior, i might be submissive, but i should still matter and be treated with care and respect

sissy blogs dni, i am a woman, do not reblog my pics to your sissy blog, i will block you if i spot you.

i am a toy for others to enjoy!

(Most tasks recieved and completed in one day: 18) (Most tasks recieved on a special occasion: 48)

ASK TASKS: OPEN

use my ask box to send me tasks to do! i'd love to entertain and perform for you all! i am a good and obedient girl, and i enjoy getting tasks to do!

choose one or more task emoji and send them to me! include instructions if you send complicated tasks

tasks can come from anyone, even anons!

i'll do tasks as soon as i can! i have to finish my work wach day before i can play and i've grown very busy lately. basic tasks i'll do on my own, but i'll need help for the slightly more complicated ones so they might be a little while! Mutuals can DM me with DM tasks, and if i'm available we'll play ^^

task list below the readmore

BASIC TASK LIST!

🗜️ make me wear nipple clamps for 5 minutes! 📦 make me wear 10 pegs on my cunt for 10 minutes! 🤚 make me slap my cunt 5 times! ⚡ choose a part of me and make me use my TENS unit there for 10 mins. 🪆 dolly time! for the next 30 mins make me cup my hands, stay on my tip toes, and arch my back. 😺/🐮 petplay! for the next 30mins, make me keep off my furniture and only move around on all fours. make me put on my animal ears based on which one you send! 🤖 make me a good robot and complete one thing on my to-do list! ♾️ make me get my breast cups and pump my breasts for 15 mins! 🤐 make me gag myself for half an hour! (tell me what kind of gag to use and if I have it I'll use it, otherwise I'll pick) 🧣 make me put on my collar if i'm not already wearing it! 👗 make me get undressed and be naked for the next 30 mins! ✏️ make me write what you tell me on my body where you tell me! 💖 make me draw a little heart on myself where you tell me! 😵‍💫 make me stare at a spiral for 5 minutes (send me a spiral to use) (i won't use spirals that give me bad vibes, but i'll use any i've already reblogged) 🗣️ ask me anything, name a kink or give me a topic to write about (kinky or otherwise) and make me infodump about it. 🔊 send me a post or a write something for me to record saying, and i'll post the recording. 📝 make me go add 100 words to my current WIP novel. 🫴 make me edge for 10 minutes (Send me instructions, porn, a post to edge to, or a mantra to repeat while I do it, you can use my mantra tag for ideas. i cannot do this task on thursdays) 🕳️ make me fill up a hole for 10 minutes! (Choose to plug my cunt or/and ass, i cannot do this task on thursdays) 👅 make me stick my tongue out for 10 minutes! 💋 make me go practice deepthroating for 5 mins! 🍇 make me go get a snack and a drink! ❌ make me go take a break outside for 5 mins! 😴 make me go lay down in bed for 15 mins, no screens allowed.

SLIGHTLY MORE COMPLICATED TASK LIST!

👋 i'll ask my nestie to tickle me for 5 mins! (check my toybox) 🖐️ i'll ask my nestie to slap me 10 times! choose my face or tits 🏓 i'll ask my nestie to hit me 10 times! choose my ass or thighs (check my toybox) 👣 i'll ask my nestie to put elastic bands around my feet and snap the band against my soles 10 times. (nestie enjoys doing this to me) 🫶 i'll ask my nestie to choke me and hold my breath over a 5 minute session (please do not mix with other tasks) ⛓️ i'll get myself tied up and restrained for 30 mins! 🥊 No hands! make me put on my hand mitts for 15 minutes!

DM TASKS

If we're mutuals, you can dm me and play with me in other ways. Ask me for my lovense toy control links, combine tasks into one bigger task, send me files to listen to or hypnotise me yourselves, make me wear a diaper or control my toilet use, or suggest other things to do with me that you'd like! Non-mutuals who've gotten to know me can ask to play too.

Or...

⁉️ Give me a task not listed! (You can find the contents of my toybox here for ideas) (I reserve the right to safeword, but I'm very open and obedient, so shoot your shot)

#about miscling #why are these always so lonnnggggggg #if there's one thing i know how to autistically infodump about it's ✨myself✨#misc pinned post

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pixelatedraindrops · 3 months

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Hello everyone!! Today I grow a year older :3 (and I hate it lmao) FEEL FREE TO REPLY BIRTHDAY WISHES IF YOU WANT :3

So, over the time I've come back here, I've become pretty confident and proud of my once hidden passion about sick characters, sickfics and sick comfort/whump... 🌡️

And you all have been so supportive and sweet despite my weirdness so I thank you for that. You helped me feel more confident in my otherwise weird fixation <3 So, for my birthday I thought I'd try and make up a little drawing challenge for anyone who wants to give it a try... There are soo many talented artists on this site (and in this fandom)

So... It's your turn to target your faves now. You will see how fun it is and hopefully understand why I love doing it so much. 😈🌡️

(plus it's my birthday and I require some sustenance LMAO JKJK)

But yeah anyone can join in. This is just for fun though! You don't have to if you don't want to! I think its okay to ask for some food on my birthday though...right?? X'D So if you wanna do sth for my birthday...then... 👉👈 💦

CHALLENGE BELOW~

DRAW YOUR FAVE ON A SICK DAY CHALLENGE🌡️😷🥵🤧

~~~~

(Mmmmkay, I am lying to myself when I say this isn't mostly aimed at the RainCode community... X'D Can't help myself. But anyone can join regardless of the fandom!!)

So here's the challenge and the rules!! (featuring my two main lil targets ofc :3)

Regardless of who it is, put your fave through some sickness hell >:3c I'd love to see it! Make em' as miserable as you want!

destroy them 😈 jkjk XD

If you're in the RainCode community you can target anyone, but as you know, my main targets are Yuma and Makoto. If they're also your faves and who you decide to use, that will make me extra happy!

Some tips for anyone new to drawing a sick day scenario art. A few things that make it look convincing are the following:

Pajamas or Loungewear

Messy Bed Hair

Fever flushed face w sweat or at least a red nose

Tired Eye bags

Shivery body

Ice Pack or a Compress on the head

Thermometer sticking from their mouth

LOTS OF BLANKETS

Tissues or medicine surrounding them

Tea or Soup (or both)

Those are just to name some from the top of my head. If you'd like some pointers on how to make a character look ill, check out my Fever Coloring Guide. This is for digital artists but traditional artists can try it too!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

The scene can be anything you want to, it can be fluffy and wholesome (with a caretaker) it can be angsty, or it can be silly. Its all up to you! Do it for the sake of fluff! Caretaking scenes are the best for any kind of relationship >w<

Either way, have fun with it!! I look forward to see what people make if they decide to give it a try! It doesn't even have to be a full on picture! Doodles and sketches are fine too! Just show me something >w<

(feel free to tag me and say happy b-day and mention my challenge, I am proud to be known for this and would love for many to participate :3) I wanna see you take a go at it :3 Show me your style! :D

~~~

(wow look at me misspelling the word writing on text when I did it fine with my own hands lol)

Now, I know not everyone can draw...

Well never fear! I accept writing as well! ✍️✍️✍️

(hi vivia lol sorry for giving you a cold, at least you have an excuse to read and do nothing now haha x3)

Sickfics are one of the biggest things I live for! Any little drabbles or full fics with more than one chapter are welcome! Again target who you want any fandom you want, but I'll def be super happy if you make a RainCode fic. And even happier if you target my faves as well, but again, anything will do! Just make a cute story about your fave being miserable and being tended to! Trust me, it's super fun!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

Feel free to post your writing here and tag me or mention my AO3!

If you need a start to your fic, look on my blog for illness prompts! Maybe it can help give you a good start or give some inspiration! (thats why I share 'em :3)

I look forward to anything you try to write!

That's about all!! I hope you decide to participate! ✨

Good luck, have fun, and godspeed you future whumpers! 😈

(nah jk XD)

AGAIN THIS IS FOR FUN! NO PRRSSURE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!

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profounddefendorcrusade-blog · 2 months

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I feel bad for Starlo. (pt. 2)

Had they just let him get Clover the badge (and literally finish the best day of his life since, again, Clover's gotta go) and then all sat down to chat, everything would have been solved in minutes. Because clearly Starlo's main motivation is making sure other people are happy, right? If they tell him they're not happy, he'd sure as heck care about that. Just look at how he tells the group to have fun with Clover:

btw, this is a human they SHOULD be excited to talk to more since well... they're a human. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, and they are SUPPOSED to be into the western culture almost as much as Star, or at least that's what Star thought. More on this later

But no, gotta act jealous instead, call Starlo's training lackluster...

Then you make a better one, Ed, instead of complaining, Star's mind was too occupied with everything, as it always is. The town needs to be led by someone every day after all. It's all harder than it looks, you've gotta focus on schedules, new ideas, and most importantly radiating positive energy even in the worst of times

...say he's been throwing them around for human business...

huh Moray?? He didn't force you to do anything, you all just went with it. If you hated the training, y'all never said it. Ed also says how he basically doesn't want to participate in the trolley problem which I found sorta.. weird. I mean, it's not very likely that in all the years they've spent roleplaying here, they've never done this before. And even if they hadn't, it really is logical to assume Ed didn't really mean he was terrified and was just acting to make the scene more "dramatic" The five of them ARE sort of actors anyway (why would he be scared tho? it's not a real train that's coming, no real danger here, just harmless fun)

... and apparently call him a meanie and a big-headed sheriff:

HOW is he a meanie Mooch?? How??? He was just trying to be helpful and got too into everything. It's not the same as being mean on purpose. And even if he DID act prouder than usual, he honestly had every right to do it. After everything he's tried to do for the underground, his friends and family, he had every right to lift himself up. All you guys ever did was tag along with him everywhere apparently, never having to worry about anything but your own hobbies, had a secure AND fun job thanks to your boss, a place to live, nap times, PLUS Star was always a nice leader (Ed himself admits this; from my previous blog). How do I know he was nice? Aside from signs in the game, the gang only argued over trivial matters (IDK what exactly but Dina said this)

And Ace... wdym you're following them??

Why??? Star literally praised you and thanked you! What the heck?? Yeah life dealth him a bad hand but you're not doing anything about this situation aside from leaving.

I love all four of them, but honestly, It's not like Star ditched any of you, he didn't ever act angry (besides when Ed insulted his mission, which IS frustrating because: 1) he tried his best to make it enjoyable for everyone 2) this comment Ed made contradicts everything Starlo wanted to feel that day: genuinely proud, happy, useful, important. He wanted to enjoy himself as much as possible and bring as much joy to others as he could. And he was right to want that... especially after all he's already done. Or tried to do. Even though he's too fiery, too passionate, *too much,* why didn't anyone let him know this? Why didn't they tell him he's NOT been making anyone happy, aside from the tourists? Why keep lying to him until his breaking point?

Better explained down here during a discussion in the messages here on tumblr in case ya'll have the patience to read it ↓

Just... After thinking things through, I've started seeing things from a different pov. Yeah, the Four apologise to Clover in neutral, but Starlo STILL has to be the one to come to THEM for forgiveness. Forgiveness for what exactly? What did he do that was worse than what YOU guys did to HIM? (you too Ceroba, especially you, and I'll talk about this VERY soon, in a few days)

Forgetting to tie them off the rails (Ceroba forgot too) because he was too excited to well... feel like a somebody for the first time, like a real sheriff with a real deputy? Putting his needs and feelings first for once instead of walking outside his house at night and whispering to himself and thinking about every single problem he has on his plate? (I think it isn't the sheriff stuff he thinks about) Thinking he was doing the right thing by doing what he thought would be fun for everyone? Being kind to Clover? Not ditching his posse and just... idk, not running off to have an imaginary adventure with the human kid, with just the two of them? What the heck, guys.

Now, I'd understand if he'd been saying stuff like "Alright y'all, you better listen to everything I say, you understand!? Clover is the greatest thing since sliced bread, while all of you all nothing but a drag! Tch. Losers." Or "If you don't do this and that, you're fired for good! Clover will replace you! You're all lame anyway!" Or "Clover, get over here and join me on this and that! Right. NOW."

Starlo literally never said something even CLOSE to this. Only after Ed left did he let him and everyone else go, then blurted out "I was considering firing y'all anyway!" Honestly what I know about Star is that he's fiery and passionate and just snapped because he didn't understand why they left. He had done everything right.. right? He couldn't, no, wouldn't comprehend that his whole life in the Wild East has been a big fat lie. It hurt emotionally and his coping mechanism were always distractions. So he refused to see what he had (accidentally) caused.

In short, what bothers me is that all blame is put on Starlo and he's the only one who has to say sorry when he genuinely didn't know any better. Some folks just aren't introspective enough to notice people's true feelings and Star's one of them. And even if he's good at that, he's been so foused on this whole Wild East thing to think about that too, on top of everything.

He literally had to just stare off into the distance and rethink all his life choices that led him to this point (based on his letter), when instead he could have been a lone entertainer from the start. I mean, he carried all the comedy and charm on his own anyway (imo). He'd get to live his passion, plus entertain the tourists, plus boost his own confidence, PLUS none of his friends would be stuck at a job they hate! PLUS Ceroba, while still staying at Star's, could have gotten a better night's sleep with only the two of them being roommates! It would have been a win win win win win kinda situation if only they hadn't been lying to him for such a long time and just spoke up openly. Simple as that!

#sorry for the long rant #i'm crazy about this game #and these characters #starlo #uty #starlo uty #undertale yellow #uty starlo #i won't stop posting these till i get everything out #I know the ff and ceroba probably wanted to spare him from getting disappointed #But still #It's better to be honest and say it as it is #Both the ff and star had good intentions #But a bad way with dealing with the problem #Everybody and nobody is in the wrong here #Not just star

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leporellian · 1 month

Note

OH FUCK I DIDN'T THINK THERE WERE PEOPLE ON TUMBLE WHO CARED ABT OPERA HI!!!

im like. i feel like im quite opera stupid compared to Opera People(tm) but i grew up with it so ive seen a whole lot of em

my parents both work in the biz in the way where like. a normal person doesn't know who the fuck they are but i am trying to be vague bc it's extremely possible you would?

anyway point being i am SO used to this being an extremely lame secret i can't tell anyone abt (i got to be a super once and had to literally BEG my friends to come see me even tho it was a comp ticket and even now they joke abt how the fact they still speak to me after sitting through it is a sign they must REALLY like me </3) so it's SO VERY COOL seeing someone else who likes it out here in the wild blue yonder hi hi hi hi hi

hello!!! there are a great deal many of us who love opera here!!! :)

if you'd like to see more opera blogs like myself the trick is usually to go either to the tags of individual operas or to '#opera tag'- '#opera' is a bit too general and gets overrun with aesthetic blogs and the like, haha. a lot of the blogs i interact w/ are also opera blogs too so feel free to check them out

also the 'opera being this weird thing everyone makes fun of' thing is SO REAL. for much of my life, barring my late grandmother, i was the only person i knew irl who loved opera on the level i did. it was at the level that, before she saw for herself, my mom thought papageno and figaro and the rest of them were imaginary friends or original characters i came up with LMFAO. i was often bullied for it as a kid and it was seen as that Weird Stupid Thing only i liked... the fact i was visibly autistic did not help matters either. for so long i was the only one, and it was only here on tumblr that i found people who liked it the way i did- it was only really after my high school graduation that i found people like myself in person.

and don't worry about feeling Opera Stupid- i regularly feel quite Opera Stupid and i am at a theatre college working towards a career in opera dramaturgy. i think everyone feels Opera Stupid at some point (and people that never do are they actually 'opera stupid' ones...)

i hope you enjoy your stay!! welcome to opera tumblr :)

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rivetgoth · 1 year

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Not to shame some baby bats but oh man am I tired of seeing online newcomers to the industrial scene not being able to conceptualize the musicians as actual real living people who have endured real hardship and instead fandomizing them and treating them like silly little characters. And I’m not even talking about like real person fiction I’m talking stuff like making extremely inappropriate jokes at the expense of the musicians, often to their damn faces. Just saw someone tag Ogre’s personal Instagram in a joke about Al Jourgensen’s IV drug use. What the fuck is wrong with you. I still like see red with anger when I remember stumbling into someone’s Nivek Ogre roleplay blog where they used DRG’s OVERDOSE as a point of drama IN THEIR KINK ROLEPLAY. I fucking hope none of you watch your loved ones fall apart and eventually die from drug addiction or god forbid suffer from it yourself. And it’s not just that; I’ll never forget when those posts about Skuppy’s music being used at Gitmo were circulating as if it was just some quirky thing. Posts like “lol imagine being a war prisoner and suddenly Assimilate starts playing” as if that shit doesn’t suck hardcore and wasn’t the absolute antithesis of what Skinny Puppy has always fought for which is pacifism and equality and the end of war and violence and brutality. The people being tortured at Gitmo are real people and Skinny Puppy was reasonably devastated by the situation. Spamming public tags on IG with terminally online often very sexual jokes about these guys, me having to wade through “I want Raymond Watts to vore me XD jdhgdkdksjdh” in the damn KMFDM tag. Seeing a 17 year old comment on a popular musician’s selfie in eyeliner saying he looked “queer” and being like “I just know you don’t use he/him pronouns” like that shit IS WEIRD. THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE!!

IDK man. This is not a fandom, it is a real community that these guys are part of. I am friends with some of these musicians and/or their friends IN REAL LIFE because I live in the same city as them and go to the same events as them. I haven’t done anything special other than be around them and be chill. Tons of them are my Facebook friends or my mutuals on Instagram or they’re my friends’ Facebook friends and mutuals on Instagram. I’ve had some of my favorite musicians follow me back COMPLETELY unexpectedly. I’ve heard “I recognize you from online” when I’ve met some of my favorite people in the scene, even if we hadn’t directly interacted before… MULTIPLE times. I’ve made posts about a band and then saw the fucking band repost it to a different site. I’ve seen my blog get linked in the official Skinny Puppy group that the band moderates. I also know like three separate situations where somebody’s publicly posted RPF was SENT TO THE BAND MEMBERS. I’m relatively neutral (or at least have a lot of nuance) about RPF but some fucking self awareness would be nice; these guys are NOT that “famous,” they are actively running their social media pages, they don’t have PR guys, they are lurking social media, interacting with fans, their friends are normal people in the scene. It just feels so disrespectful and out of touch. Did you know that one time somebody made a joke about Ogre being on drugs in the Skinny Puppy Facebook group and Ogre himself logged in for the first time in awhile to say it wasn't funny and was painful for him to see NOT because of his own past with drugs but because it reminded him of the amount of friends he’s had die from addiction and overdose? That was a real moment that happened. It isn’t funny.

I just keep seeing this breed of newcomers who get super into the identity of being “an industrial fan” (usually with all these edgy extras like “fucked up sicko dykefag rivethead freak”) who are coming into it straight out of like, the Danganrompa or Saw or whatever fandom and cannot conceptualize the fact that this isn’t a “fandom,” they don’t know how to talk about it like it’s not a fandom, they talk about how the musicians are “so old now” which is just so insulting (you should be BEGGING the universe to be so kind as to allow you to live to be grey and wrinkly and still making art that you love!) or make jokes at the expense of the traumas they’ve endured, they don’t seek out more obscure or more recent or more local music even though THAT is what is keeping the scene alive. it has real life spaces that the musicians they’re idolizing are frequenting and it is very very obvious that they are not going outside or engaging with the scene at all, they aren’t viewing it as this huge community of people who are all congregating together over their love for this music. They’re treating the musicians like these crazy characters but they are real people and their traumas and struggles and “weird” behavior is what brought them to this type of music to begin with! They’re making posts about how musicians just aren’t “weird” anymore while completely ignoring the decades of recent incredible music from artists trying desperately to survive in this world IN THE SCENE THEY CLAIM TO BE PART OF!! You are not a depraved freak punk rivethead faggot you are a 20 year old introvert that listens to NIN, KMFDM, and Skinny Puppy while not supporting the scene in any tangible way whatsoever and talking about the people who created the genre like they’re commodifiable fictional characters. And it’s not a question of “you don’t listen to enough music to be legit!” I love baby bats and newcomers and I absolutely adore seeing people get into this music and find solace and community within it. Industrial music saved my life and I was once the newcomer just discovering this stuff. it’s a question of “you are being disrespectful and out of touch while acting like you know what more than you really do.” Go out to a goth club. Talk to people. Sing along in a crowd to your favorite songs. Type in Bandcamp Dot Com right now and discover a new artist. Buy an album and tip them. That r/LSD comment where the guy said “keep it chill or suffer the consequences.”

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jasntodds · 8 months

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Petrichor Chapter 10 Teaser - Full Chapter coming 09/27

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb) Teaser Words: 2,049 Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, canon character death, canon drug use, drug use, blood, bruises, injuries, look the anti-fear drug turns perfectly innocent people into raging murderers and makes them do things they would never do and that's all I'm gonna say for that one, canon violence, violence Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞ Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now. A/N: My life blew up last week so I've done nothing besides rewatch CSI so here's a teaser lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

Jason, on the other hand, he knows you. He knows you want to meet up to check on him, yes. You’ll always want to check on him after any sort of fight with anyone. It’s what you do. But, he also knows you're going to have questions about him attacking Dick and the other Titans. You tipped him off, sure, but maybe you didn’t think he was going to actually attack them. He knows you're going to question him about it, probably lecture him. He doesn’t want to listen to it. He can’t listen to it. A part of him will want to break if he does and he knows it. He knows he will if he goes there clean. So, he doesn’t. He hits the inhaler and pockets it before heading to the alley.

Jason gets there first, hiding in the shadows until you show up. You're on your bike, completely suited up. You don’t want anyone seeing you with him. Not the real you. Red Hood is pissing off a lot of people and you already have enough shit you're dealing with. The last thing you want is a target painted on your civilian self for being seen with him.

You dismount the bike, popping the helmet on the handlebar as you look around. Jason walks out from the shadows, wearing the suit and the helmet. Of course, he is.

“I’m fine.” Jason states. You don’t like how the helmet makes him sound.

“Yeah, well, had to see for myself.” You let out a breath as you close the rest of the distance between you.

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.” Jason takes the helmet off and he isn’t smiling or grinning. His expression is flat and your heart starts to sink.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Jay?” You shake your head, Jason getting a hint of annoyance in your voice.

“I mean I’m fine.” He rolls his shoulders, his voice flat.

Your eyes are scanning over him and it's dark but you're pretty sure he doesn't have any bruises. It seems either the helmet and suit did a good job of protecting him tonight or Dick didn't get a hit in. That's at the very least a small relief but Jason Todd has never been fine. You're starting to think he doesn't actually know the definition of the word.

“Right. You have said you’re fine a hundred times and not once have you actually been fine.” You cross your arms over your chest.

Jason's teeth grit for just a split second. “Don’t fucking worry. I told you. I got this handled.” Jason holds the helmet on his hip, his stance strong and sturdy.

He’s different than he was yesterday. He was grinning and smirking because it’s him. Whenever he claims to be fine, he gives you a grin as if that’s going to melt your worry away. But, not tonight and he seems bored and defensive.

“Why are you being so…weird?” You raise a brow at him.

Jason brushes you off, thankful for the drug coursing through his system. He’d never be able to deal with this without it.

“I’m not weird.” Jason defends.

“Yeah, you are. You’re acting weird.” You argue.

You don’t get it and maybe you won’t ever. But, this is him now. He’s not acting weird because this is the new him. Red Hood, fearless. He has no worries or fears anymore, just a mission. Jason swears he’s not acting weird, you're just expecting the old him.

“This is just the new me.” He lets out this sort of chuckle that doesn’t sit well in your stomach.

“Uh-huh. Right. You seemed…kind of normal last time but now you seem…off.” Your eyes scan over his face and your heart is in your throat, the formula running through your mind.

“Just glad to be doing what Bruce couldn’t.” Jason holds his head up high with ease.

“This conversation is going fucking nowhere.” You let out a sigh as you look to the ground.

You came here with the intent to be sure he's fine. It was to get some sort of answer. A real, solid reason not to tell Dick anything. Dick is going to have so many questions when you get back tonight. All of them will be about Jason and what his new plan is now that he's alive. You need a reason to keep what you do know to yourself and Jason is giving you every reason to be worried enough to talk to Dick.

“So, go home.” Jason scoffs but he’s not even offended or upset. It’s like he doesn’t even care.

Your attention snaps back to him. “What the fuck? I’m worried about you and you don’t even care?”

It's not that he doesn’t care. The drug numbs part of that but not entirely. It can’t otherwise they wouldn’t be able to have a plan in the first place. Jason has to be able to care about the city and the people he’s trying to protect otherwise there is no plan. It’s not that he does not care, it’s that he doesn’t care to go through the arguing in circles game while you dig for information.

“What else did you want? I know you want something else.” Jason dodges the question on purpose, knowing he won’t even feel guilty about it.

A lump forms in your throat as he dodges the question. He comes back to life and is, generally, normal but now he’s not? How is that even possible?

“Dick knows you’re alive.” You swallow the lump and if he’s going to pretend like this doesn’t hurt him, fine, you’ll do the same.

“Yeah, broke my other helmet, had a backup though.” Jason looks down to the helmet on his hip and then back to you with ease, the very corners of his mouth twitching into a grin.

“Oh, I’m so glad you have a spare helmet, Jason.” You snark through a scoff. “Unbelievable.” You look down and this is not how you wanted this to go. “Why did you try to shoot him?”

“He was in the way.” Jason answers casually.

The Titans are going to get in the way and Dick is the leader. Without him, the Titans will fall apart. Crane is right about Dick. He thinks he’s better than Jason. He thinks he’s the golden child, and he always was to Bruce. Bruce couldn’t even be bothered to kill the Joker for Jason but he would have for Dick. Dick dropped him from a skyscraper. Dick got him kidnapped and tortured. This all comes back to him and Bruce.

Your eyes nearly bulge out of your head and you're sick of the games with him right now. “Are fucking joking!?” You finally yell. This isn’t funny. Dick is his brother, he’s your friend. He could have killed him. What the fuck is wrong with him?

“Nope.” Jason gives you a grin. The drug loves confrontation.

This is not the Jason you once knew.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You glare up at him. “He’s in your way? Well, damn Jason, maybe don’t attack the fucking Titans.” You gesture your hands out as you shrug your shoulders.

Jason’s blood starts to boil as you yell. You swore you weren’t working with them but from where he’s standing, it sure as shit seems like you are. Crane said you would. Crane said you’d start working with them the second you found out what he was doing. Maybe he was right and it’s pissing Jason off. You're supposed to be on his side.

“I thought you weren't fucking working with them.” Jason seethes. You lied. You lied to him. Of course, you're working with them. Maybe Crane was right about you, too.

But you tipped him off.

“I’m fucking not! But I give a shit about them. In case you forgot, Dick saved my life twice. Gar is our best friend. Conner saved your life. Kory fucking tried to save our lives. I know you care about them. Why the hell would you go after them?”

“Dick treats me like shit. I’m fucking no one to him. He thinks he’s so much better than me.” Jason scoffs. “You said Rachel was his lap dog, but look at you now.” Jason laughs cruelly as he closes some of the distance between you. “You're the one screaming at me and defending him.” Jason shakes his head, looking down at you.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he were trying to intimidate you.

Maybe you don’t know better.

“You tried to kill him! He pisses me off sometimes, too but I don’t want him dead! I’m not his damn lap dog, either. I just don’t know what the hell is going on. And you won’t fucking tell me.” You grit your teeth, standing toe-to-toe with him.

“That’s because it’s none of your fucking business, but don’t worry, babe, you’ll see soon enough.” Jason offers this grin that you can’t tell is him taunting you or threatening you. And from here, with him nearly standing on top of you, can see his eyes better.

His pupils are dilated and your heart is suddenly in your throat. On the one hand, making a drug and selling it to innocent people is really bad and you were hoping that was not it. But, on the other hand, a part of you thinks him taking something is worse in a way. The formula screams from the back of your head and Dick's general concern about it, Jason's weird and erratic behavior before he died. Him going after the Joker. He's definitely high and you have no fucking idea how you missed that either or what even lead him here.

“Literally, are you high right now?” You question him, hoping against all odds whatever he's on will make him tell you, like an overconfidence thing. “Because the Jason I know wouldn’t be laughing and trying to kill the Titans. The Jason I know wouldn’t be being such a fucking dick to me right now.”

Jason lets out a laugh, ignoring your question because he's not playing into your hand. “So, go home.” There's a wicked look in his eyes as he looks down at you. And it hurts. “This is me, new and improved.” There's almost something threatening in the way his eyes darken to the deepest shade of evergreen you've ever seen.

“If you think this an improvement, I have news for you. The new you sucks.” You spit back.

It’s like the drug loves confrontation. It’s as if confrontation triggers something. The drug is supposed to suppress fear. That’s the point of it. But it seems to do a few other things. If confrontation starts, it’s like Jason gets an adrenaline boost but not in self-defense, instead, it’s more like skydiving. It’s actually fun, it doesn’t matter who the confrontation is with. It’s fun. Thrilling. Jason doesn’t realize that maybe that was Craen’s plan. He’s a mad scientist. Maybe the drug is meant to suppress his fear but maybe it’s meant to control other parts of him in just the right way to do his bidding. Like using confrontation as another drug. Jason doesn’t see it. He can’t see it because the drug, at the end of the day, is Crane’s creation. Because Crane is the one pulling the strings behind the curtain.

And unfortunately for you, you're kicking up the confrontation.

Jason’s smile falls as he shakes his head. There’s an anger that sparks across his eyes, something you've never directed at you. “Really? Not what you fucking said yesterday. Not what you said earlier today when you tipped me off.”

“You weren’t like this yesterday or earlier.” You argue, holding your ground.

Jason steps forward, making you take steps back until your back hits the alley wall behind you and your heart spikes. Your head isn’t throbbing but a very small part of you, is a little bit scared. This isn’t him. Jason wouldn’t try to kill Dick. Jason does not threaten you. But there's a look in his eyes and if he's willing to kill Dick and attack his friends, what's he willing to do to you?

“Go. Home.” Jason warns.

prev. chapter

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#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #red hood x reader #red hood x you #jason todd fanfic #jason todd fanfiction #titans fanfic #titans fanfiction #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction #petrichor #tw: blood

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chronic-lesbian · 1 month

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Salam! I hope your day is going well!! Is it just me or is this site like, extremely islamophobic. I made the mistake of looking through the hijab tag and it made me feel so gross. I’m considering getting off of it entirely tbh but maybe i’d like it more if i strictly stayed away other blogs

Salam!!!! Oh I'm going to be honest this site is extremely islamophobic but loves to pretend like it's not. This is kind of gonna be a long reply so sorry for that fndjfjrjfb

The hijab/hijabi tag is mostly just blogs sexualizing people with hijabs, which is disgusting and gross and literally is going against the boundaries and wishes of hijabis, as we're literally covering up to avoid that, and as a hijabi thinking about it makes me feel sick.

A couple of years back I'd go through the blogs just to block and report but after I noticed those blogs never got deleted and that my reports seemed to not do anything I just gave up and stopped going to the tag to not upset myself.

Even general Islamophobia is very normalized, as it is also normal within society, and I've seen an uptick in open and loud islamophobia after Zionists got more bold on here, and some people seem to just parrot it without ever thinking about it.

I've personally even had whole arguments with people claiming that "people from developed countries (read: people who are more intelligent) are less religious" as if that's not the most racist and weird thing you could possibly say. Calling it out got me blocked and I was called a moron over it.

Or every time I make a post being angry about the hijab bans in West Europe and the islamophobia and racism that manifests itself through it, I get people telling me that islam is evil and i should go back to my country and that when I'm "back in my country" I'd be killed for being a lesbian so I should be grateful about European countries or whatever. Which is an insane thing to say and also. Again. Racist and Islamophobic but they fully think they're in the right.

It takes a lot of time tbh but I've found blogs that make it worth to stay on here, like other fellow lgbt Muslims or Muslims who are very open about being allies, and some non Muslim friends who do listen when I talk about these issues, would defend me if I ever needed it on here, and respect it when I correct them or point out something they've said is islamophobic and they change.

If you choose to stay, I'd really recommend trying to stay within the Tumblr you've curated for yourself and blocking people if they upset you. It's hard to not check what people are saying in certain tags sometimes and it's hard to just block and move on as well bc some of the things I've seen have been very upsetting, but in the end your mental health comes first and these people are not worth our time.

They're condescending bigots who are so filled with hatred and malice they seem to forget we as Muslims are a diverse group of people and we are human too. And sometimes said hatred can be crushingly casual, but finding people who understand and respect you will ultimately make this site and this experience so much better and tolerable.

In the end it is 100% your decision, and you should do what you think is the best for you, but if you want to vent about Islamophobia or just talk my inbox is always open!

#a little more than kin a little less than kind.txt

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phoebe-delia · 1 year

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When This Is Over

YALL I FOUND THIS WIP IN THE DRAFTS OF MY SIDEBLOG FROM *LITERALLY* A YEAR AGO!!! Honest to god, NO idea if I've posted this already; I looked at my blog and at my tagged fics at @drarrymicrofic (wrote this for the now-old prompt: wedding btw) and I didn't see it so I'm going with it. I added an ending after "pretty damn impressive," and I made minor edits to the stuff I wrote before lol. Also this is an AU.

I don't care which china patterns we use; I'm sure you'll choose something delicate and ridiculously expensive and you'll insist on keeping it forever despite the fact that you'll also never let us use it again, let alone allow anyone else to touch it except for you. But it'll make you smile, and that's enough of a reason for me.

I'm going to wear dress robes, which you'll no doubt pick out for me. I don't know or have much of a preference as to what you'll wear, but I know you'll look gorgeous because when I see you wearing that outfit for the first time it'll be when you're walking down the aisle to meet me, and it'll be the best thing I've ever seen.

All I really care about for the planning, other than inviting all our friends and family, is serving good food and dancing to good music. I want us both to know every single song that the DJ plays, and can we please for the love of Merlin ask whoever we hire not to adlib or make commentary during the songs? It's so annoying when they do that. I want to listen to the song, not some stranger stopping the music to scream "WHAT" and "PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR" intermittently into the microphone. And if I hear one—and I mean ONE—strangely upbeat or techno remix of a gorgeous ballad, I'm firing the DJ and plugging in my phone and playing music myself. I was scarred from the guy at Dean and Seamus's wedding who played a remix of "My Heart Will Go On." Scarred, I tell you, which is saying a lot for someone who is literally scarred in several places, and would probably be a prime test subject for a team of psychologists.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, the wedding. As for rings, we're going to pick them out together. There's a jewelry shop in Diagon—well, there was before; I hope it'll still be there when this is all over. But if it's gone we can go somewhere else.

It's weird; everyone's talking about how we need to "make sacrifices" if we're going to defeat Him. But I don't think anyone understands that more than you and me. You sacrificed everything to show up to the Order headquarters, alone and asking for help, for forgiveness. And me—well. I haven't had much of a choice in what I've sacrificed. You did, though, and that's pretty damn impressive.

When this is over, I don't want to make a single compromise that impacts the grand scheme of my life. I want to be greedy; I want to be selfish. I want to grab happiness by the balls and never let it slip through my fingers.

I want to travel the world together. To lie on a beach until my skin grows flushed; hike up a mountain and feel my lungs burn. I want to feel my shirt stick to my skin from how much I'm sweating while we dance in a packed club, in a city where we don't speak the language; you'll move in close and grind your arse against me, throwing your head back against my shoulder to demand, through hot panted breaths, to take you home. I will, immediately, because of all the things I want for the rest of my life, you're at the top of the list.

I don't care where we are, or what we're doing, when this is all over. As long as I'm with you.

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wibixthecowboy · 11 months

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Play the Song: Chapter 13: Sweet like Candy

Task Force 141 needs a new sniper and despite their complaints, they're assigned Flash, a joke-making, ABBA-listening, 20-year-old sharpshooter with better aim than the whole team combined. In other words, Ghost is practically handed the love of his life but he needs time to adjust because she's a firecracker.

Warnings/Tags: !graphic depictions of panic attacks!, references to suicide attempts (no descriptions), references to SA (no descriptions), Age gap (20/30-32), gore, descriptions of injury/blood/wounds, justified angst, tooth rotting fluff, slow burn, protective ghost, family dynamic, big brother soap has an attitude problem, father figure Price, wholesome brother Gaz, touch starved Ghost, eventual smut, praise, choking, thigh riding, unprotected (wrap it up people), size kink, oral f receiving, ghost will do anything to get his dick sucked, idk I’m sure it will get dirtier as I go, shifting POV

A/N: Holy Fuck. Excuse my language but jesus. That last quarter literally gutted me. BUT I PERSIST. Here is what I think is the longest chapter by far? idk I haven't checked. Thank you for sticking around for so long. Smooches for everyone, enjoy! Also! I know the chapter links are broken :( , I'll fix them asap!

Words: 7.8k

Side note: All of these characters are fictional! Please don’t be weird about their real life actors, leave them out of this and be respectful!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

@urfavsunkissedleo@butskii@abbiesxox@itsasecrets-things@thatonewriterthatnooneknows@copiasratscheese @Sheviro-blog @Simonsslvt

★Flash

Dust swirls up into a small cloud, forced into motion by Flash's incessant kicking. It travels a few feet before dissipating into the bitter morning wind. She shivers again in the thin cotton of her pajama shirt and sweats and debates going back in. Debates sliding the small phone back into her pocket, shoving off the single stair in front of the base doors, and throwing herself back into her sheets. They'd be cold by now, it's been nearly an hour since she'd tossed back her blanket, dug the phone out of her duffel bag, and sat herself down outside to call her sister. Well, attempt to call her sister. It's been over five years since they'd last talked, when she'd stuck fifteen-year-old Flash on a transit bus to Arizona with a small backpack of keepsakes and photocopies of her registration papers for the Safford Advanced Military Academy. She’d sent a few letters, from the cramped desk in her first dorm but had never gotten any back. The constant schoolwork was a good distraction but it still stung.

Filling her lungs to a near painful capacity, Flash double checks the faded sticky note her sister had slipped into her pocket so many years ago and then the glowing numbers on her phone before shutting her eyes and jamming her thumb into the call button. Flash's breath is stuck in her throat, stilled in anticipation almost as if its waiting alongside her as the phone rings. Much to her surprise, she picks up by the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

She sticks her head between her knees, absolutely convinced last nights dinner is about to come up but after a few breaths her vision clears and she answers in a rush of air.

"Sarah?"

"Who is this?"

Flash tries to swallow back the disappointment building in her stomach and then,

"Grace? Is that you?"

The dinner does come up now and she barely manages to make it to the sad cluster of shrubs before the sting of bile burns up her throat. The world caves beneath her, sucking her chest through the souls of her feet. It ricochets through her brain, slamming hard at each turn. Grace Grace Grace. She gags again, wiping her mouth on the cold skin of her forearm.

"Hi." She manages, the sound of her voice echoes between her ears. "Yes its me."

"Are you okay- did you just throw up?" Her sister's voice is calm as always, despite not hearing it for several years, the cooling affect is just the same. Sarah was- is the personification of winter. Cold, calm, and biting if you stayed with it for too long. But she's the only person who's ever been there every time Flash really needed her.

"Yeah, I uh," a burning gasp breaks her words and she realizes she hasn't been breathing. "I don't know I think I ate something funny."

"Okay." There's an awkward pause and when Sarah realizes Flash isn't going to say anything she continues. "Did you need something?"

It's at this moment that Flash remembers why she hadn't ever called. Sarah was an expert at talking people off a ledge. Every time Flash got into a fight, Sarah was able to smooth things over with a carefully plated store-bought box of cookies and a sweet smiled promise. But when it came to dealing with Flash and her inferno of a temper, Sarah chose to sit on the sidelines and watch as Flash burnt herself over and over. If it wasn't causing harm to others, Sarah didn't bother. But years of burning herself meant Flash had developed calluses.

"Is Taryn there?" The words are bitter, whether from the bile souring her mouth or the stinging disappointment, she doesn’t know.

Taryn was Sarah's on-and-off girlfriend and the only woman in Flash's life that gave her the softness she so desperately craved. If Sarah was winter, Taryn was Spring. On the days she came over, windows were opened, wildflowers were picked, neatly arranged in vases, and dinner was always something with potatoes. Taryn had made their small two-bedroom crash pad into a home. How Taryn and her sister had made it work was beyond her.

"Um- yeah, she's here. One second."

There's a rustling as Sarah drops the phone from her ear and then a murmuring of voices, even through the lowered phone she can hear the way Sarah's voice softens as she speaks to Taryn. She'd never spoken to Flash that way.

"Gracie?"

"Hello?" Flash's response comes out broken and half-whispered and with all the heavy emotion that she’d secretly hoped she’d feel when speaking with her sister.

"Gracie! Hi!" Taryn's sweet honey voice pours from the speaker, still soft from sleep and the tears building behind Flash's eyes begin to burn. "How are you, sweetheart? It's been forever."

"Good- good. I've been good." She presses her knuckles against her eyes until colors bloom against the backs of her eyelids, unshed tears wetting her fingers. "I just had a question."

"Oh?" There's another round of rustling and Flash can picture her sitting up in bed, blindly grabbing at her side table before fixing the round pair of tortoiseshell glasses she wore over blinking eyes.

"And what's your question?"

"When you met Sarah," Flash rubs a hand roughly down her face before glancing around, "how did you know?"

"How did I know what?" Taryn's interest has clearly been piqued.

"You know." She hesitates before sighing and feeling five years younger, mutters, "That you liked her."

"It took having a crush for you to finally call me?"

"I don't know, maybe?" There’s another silence, but unlike with Sarah, Flash know’s it’s Taryn waiting patiently for her to find the words that sometimes tangled themselves when making the journey from brain to tongue. "Yes. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize honey. I'm glad you did, it's nice to hear your voice." Then she continues on, like it hasn’t been five years, and when she closes her eyes, Flash can see the pink sundress Taryn had worn the last time she’d seen her. The hem had been stained burgandy the week before by Flash’s impatient blackberry painted fingers. "It was kind of love at first sight.”

Flash, either in a desperate attempt to hear to a story not about the plight of terrorists, or simply because Taryn’s voice made the world brighter, listened to her whole story. How when Taryn had met Sarah, she’d been enthralled, and even more so when Flash had threatened to break her arm if Taryn broke Sarah’s heart. How she’d so quickly decided that Sarah was the one for her despite Sarah’s supposed lack of interest and to both Flash and Taryns dismay, her complete and utter denial of being at least bisexual.

Another kick sends more dirt floating along the breeze and Flash struggles to find a way to ask for advice. ‘I’m actually talking about my lieutenant.’ ‘Oh, you didn’t know? I’m not fifteen anymore, I’ve actually killed several people.’ ‘Anyways, I want to fuck the life out of him but when I touch him he looks like he’s either going to piss his pants or bend me over the counter.’ or maybe just ‘How do I get over the deeply rooted fear of love that my dead father and might-as-well-be-dead sister instilled in me at a young age?’. She’s debating rephrasing the last one when a sharp cry cuts through Taryn’s retelling of her and Sarah’s first date.

“Is that a baby?” Flash’s voice is sharper than she meant it to be. “Do you have-”

She’s cut off by a fake laugh and a breathily muttered ‘no’. Taryn never cut her off.

“No don’t be silly.” Another nervous laugh. “I have to go, Sarah needs me. But do call again! Let me give you my number so you can call my cell next time.”

Flash listens numbly as she prattles off a long list of numbers, more focused on the static noise around her words. Waiting to hear another cry. When it doesn’t come Flash just shakes her head and tunes back in just in time to hear Taryn mutter another ‘goodbye’ and the quiet buzz of a dead line.

She blinks a few times, simultaneously overwhelmed and underwhelmed by the call. And then the last few sentences Taryn had left her with slowly start to trickle to the front of her mind. In a rush, Flash flies through the front doors of the base, nearly dropping her phone in the process, grabs a pen from the table and scribbles the number along her forearm, hoping to god she’d remembered it correctly. Hoping she could survive another icily quipped sentence from her sister if not.

Its then, mouth still gross and breathily reciting Taryn’s number in a desperate attempt to recall the sequence, that the sound of footsteps pulls her attention to the hallway. It’s the team, minus Price who’d left an hour earlier, and only gave Flash a fleeting worried look and a head shake as he passed her on the front steps, to get a headstart in traveling Alejandro’s farmhouse.

Soap leads the group, hands tucked neatly into the front of his cargo pants. Behind him, Gaz is nearly identical in both stature and clothing, but unlike Soap, his hands fall confidently at his sides. Ghost, seemingly the odd one out, trails a few feet behind, dressed sharply as usual, but there are two distinct purple smudges under his eyes. They pass through the poorly crafted living room before each settling in their respective spots at the table, like an aged high school clique. She’s about to make a remark on this when Soap raises a brow at her.

“And what are you doin’ lookin’ like that?” His hand waves up and down her body, at it hunched over the table. “We leave in like-” He glances down at his watch, “An hour?”

Ghost sits down heavily in the chair across from her and his eyes almost immediately fall to the messy set of numbers scrawled on her skin. His dark gaze narrows just the slightest bit and Flash can already see him jumping to conclusions.

“I called my sister.” She blurts out, both to answer Soap and to stop whatever train of thought is starting in Ghost’s head. She’s not sure why she feels the need to defend herself. The three men sitting around her freeze, stopping their respective tasks to listen. “I uh- yeah.”

“How did it go?” Gaz asks smoothly when the silence has stretched just a few seconds too long. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

He slides into the seat next to her, leaning on his arm and giving her just a tad too much concentration. It was times like these when Flash wondered if Gaz operated a black market of gossip, too eager and always asking the right questions.

“We don’t talk.” Flash’s eyes flick up to see Ghost watching her warily. “Not for five years at least.”

Gaz raises his brows but doesn’t say anything, just pitches his mouth down in the corner, enough that Flash know’s he’s no longer fishing for details. Part of her wonders just how much he knows.

She looks across the table at Soap, sitting silent in his chair, picking at his nails, and suddenly becomes aware of the space left between him and Ghost. Now, after hearing Soaps late night confession the day before, the signs are obvious, like Soap has the words ‘I fucked my superior and now we don’t talk about it’ scrawled across his forehead in bright red pen. She clears her throat,

“It was fine, I just called for-” She hesitates, still not quite sure why she’s telling them this. Maybe Taryn’s sweet tongued optimism rubbed off on her too much. “I just needed some sister advice.” Flash finishes with a shrug, hoping the burn on her cheeks isn’t too obvious.

“I get that.” Soap starts, and Flash almost jumps at his voice, deep and raspy from sleep. “I’ve got my own sister. She can be annoyin’ as shit but she’s got some good advice.”

“And what are you getting advice for.” Gaz teases, “You haven’t had game for the last year.” His words falter at the end and Flash doesn’t need any explanation to know he’s talking about Ghost and Soap’s relationship, or whatever the hell Soap had called it. In a quick attempt to smooth things over, she looks expectantly across to Ghost.

“No. No siblings.” He says, and Flash watches the way his eyes fall to the worn table in front of him.

“That's too bad.” Flash says, kicking him lightly under the table, “They’re a pain in the ass anyways.” This time, when he glances back up, she smiles at him with her teeth, remembering the way he’d so carefully parted her lips in the bathroom the night before. Something in his gaze shifts and his mouth moves under his mask, pulling up at the corners. But before she can see the full thing, he’s standing and moving towards the kitchen. Glassware clinks around, he pulls one of the bowls from the cupboard and stands at the sink, waiting awkwardly. She catches on a moment later and sits up.

“I’ll go back to my room while you guys eat.” She says, trying not to let the gesture sting too badly. “I’ve got to pack for the trip anyways.”

As soon as she turns her back, even though she know’s its impossible, the rustling of Ghost pulling off his balaclava echoes through the concrete room. Just incase she has a sudden loss of self control and turns to see him making his breakfast unmasked, Flash speeds up her pace and practically throws herself through her door.

Leaning against the foot of her bed is an empty duffel bag and next to it a small, half-filled laundry sack. In it are the clothes from that night. Just underwear, a tank top, and her favorite pair of cargo pants. All her other layers had either been torn or cut through. They’d been sent through the wash five times now, but every time she’d braved the task of opening the synched bag, a staggering fear grasped her so tightly that she would pull it shut and give it back to Price. He took it wordlessly every time and they would both pretend. Her muttering something about there still being blood and him nodding while sending it along with the rest of the laundry. Both of them knew the clothes were clean, practically washed thin, but she could smell the brine of the sea, the gory mess of the man as he splattered across her shirt without even opening the bag.

So instead of kicking it to the side, or ignoring the sad, knowing look in Price’s eyes as she shoves the unopened sack into his hands again, she picks it up and sets it on the unmade sheets of her bed. Her hands shake violently and it almost makes her laugh, how they vibrate when the canvas whispers open.

On the top of the neatly folded pile is a small scrap of notebook paper. When she leans in closer, she can make out a single line of familiar scratchy handwriting ‘you’ve got this kiddo :)’. Tears burn behind her eyes as she picks the note up and sets it aside, reading it one more time before her eyes are too watery to see, and reaches into the bag to pull out the tank top. Her hands still shake, and the fold is done horribly, one strap sits higher up than the other making the whole thing a bit lopsided, but she finishes. The pants follow suit, folded neater this time. She picks them both up, along with the underwear, and shoves them into their respective drawers before leaning heavily against her dresser.

Taking a shaky breath, Flash turns to slide down the side of the solid wood, wedging herself between the wall and dresser she lets her head fall between her knees. There, away from the view of the laundry bag and clothes, she lets the adrenaline drain down her limbs and through her fingertips that rest on the cold floor. It shakes her body and looses a few broken sobs, but she’s alive and the clothes are folded.

★Ghost

He waits outside of Flash’s door, hand half raised, fingers curled in a fist to knock. Soap had sent him to give her a thirty-minute warning which would now end up being a twenty-five minute warning. Shaking his hand out one more time, he raises his fist, and right as he's about to knock, the door swings open.

Flash stands in front of him, looking down at the duffel bag in her hand. She jerks back when she sees him. Just for a moment, in the few seconds, it takes for her to recover and slide back on her happy-go-lucky smile, he can see the crease at her brow and a small frown tugging the soft shape of her lips down.

“You ready?” She asks, and Ghost nearly forgets that she is the one they’re waiting on.

“Yeah.” He starts, and all the confidence he had built, all the words he’d carefully laid out for hours the night before wash away at the sight of her. “We uh- Gaz took the Jeep.” Flash nods for him to continue, and he does after another deep breath. “You, me, and Soap will be taking the truck with the rest of the equipment.”

Flash watches him carefully, eyes flicking over every inch of skin his mask leaves uncovered. It’s this hungry gaze of hers, the one that scares the shit out of him, that she gives him before responding. Completely ignoring his words.

“You didn’t sleep?” She says but doesn’t wait for him to answer. “Me neither.”

Flash shoves her bag into his hand and jogs towards the front door, already arguing with Soap about her “perfectly valid” license. He carries both their bags in one arm and decides that it's the weight of their bags that is slowing him down. Not the fact that Soap reaching the truck first meant he and Flash would be stuck in the back together, strapped to a single bench. He wanted to thank whatever officer had replaced the passenger seat with a now out-of-date comms system.

_____

An hour in, Flash’s cheek is pressed hard into the knuckles of her fist and a shiny patch of drool starting at the corner of her mouth. He both envies her sleep abilities and fears them.

When his eyes drift back to the landscape outside the windshield, his gaze catches on Soap watching them through the rearview. He struggles to remember if the mirror used to be angled down that far or if Soap had intentionally moved it to watch them.

“So things are getting pretty serious?” He asks, not taking his eyes off the poorly paved road in front of him. Although he says it jokingly, Ghost can see the underlying curiosity, maybe even a twinge of jealousy.

“We’re not doing this right now Johnny.” Ghost grumbles, keeping his arms tight over his chest, as if they could create a barrier against Soap’s prying eyes. He knows better. Years of using little to no communication during deployment meant that learning each other's body language was critical, especially in cramped bunks.

Soap just shakes his head, still not taking his eyes off the road. Ghost can practically watch the countdown until his next snarky remark. A slow scrunch of his brow, followed by a slight downturn of his mouth, before- right on the mark, Soap drags a rough hand down the left side of his face before finally speaking.

“Has she seen you without your mask?”

Ghost’s eyes snap to Soap’s, still waiting for biting words to follow, to snap at a tender spot only he knows how to find. Instead it’s something much, much, worse.

“Just remember what happened last time.”

The words slither through the air between them, squeezing around his ribs before sliding down to stoke the coals of fear burning in his stomach. The cab of the truck is too small and suddenly the heat of Flash’s body pressed so close is so present in his mind that if he doesn’t back away he might just- stop. Stop.

“Pull over.” He mumbles, staring into the dead space between horizon and road.

Soap obliges wordlessly, slowing the truck to a slow roll before stopping in a cloud of dust on the shoulder. Ghost steps out, stumbling over the edge of the pavement as he braces his hands against his knees and heaves great breaths of warm desert air.

The sound of a door opening behind him has his shoulders raising to his ears, a poor imitation of hackles.

“Stop!” He clears his throat before lowering his voice and trying again. “I’m fine. Get back in the truck.”

But the sound of footsteps persists, light and barely audible, despite the thin layer of gravel coating the road and landscape around them. When he turns, Flash is standing behind him. Her face is pink with sleep, an impression of the seatbelt running from her mouth to her ear, and one side of her hair has been rubbed upward, making her braided hair lopsided. When her eyes fall on his hunched shoulders, the freckled bridge of her nose scrunches.

“Whats going on?” She asks suddenly, growing more aware. “Are you getting sick?”

When he doesn’t answer, she steps closer, resting a hand between his shoulder blades. Ghost can't help the low sound that pushes from his chest. She keeps it there, rubbing circles into the expanse between his shoulder blades.

“It’s okay,” Flash starts, still soothing his hunched shoulders back down. “I get sick too, just on plane rides. I don’t know what it is.” She laughs once, bright and musical. “Maybe the forty thousand feet in the air bit.”

Ghost’s breaths come easier now, in through his nose and streamlined from his pursed lips, the way his psychiatrist had shown him. The small pouch of his pills sit comfortingly in his breast pocket, but he lets them stay there. Finally, he turns to face Flash, reluctantly letting the warmth of her palm fall from his back.

“Yeah.” The word comes out staticky, like when the comms are just a bit too far apart. “That part is pretty shitty.” He doesn’t know why he’s agreeing with her. He’s never once felt an ounce of fear flying on a plane. There’s no point when everything is already so far out of his control. But when her lips split and reveal an amused smile he understands why.

“C’mon.” Flash grasps his hand, pulling him back towards the truck. He hadn’t realized just how far he’d stumbled. “I’m sure we have something in the truck for nausea.”

Ghost just nods and follows her lead, sliding smoothly onto the bench of the truck and shutting the door behind him. Flash carefully slips her pinky finger around his, squeezing tightly. And that single act sends a rush of heat through his chest both pleasant and burning. She knew. She knew damn well he wasn’t car sick. Soap says nothing.

Instead of folding his hands underneath his arms like usual, Ghost lets them be. One gently grasping the safety handle, and the other tucked neatly under Flash’s tracing fingers. And does his best to ignore the eyes watching them from the mirror.

★Flash

Flash, in a desperate attempt to get out of the truck, barely manages to let it stop before bursting out and jogging a few short laps around the vehicle.

“Jesus kid.” Soap swears, stepping out of the cab and stretching his arms overhead. “Weren’t you just sleeping like-” a disbelieving glance at his wristwatch, “three minutes ago.”

“Four fucking hours.” She bites as Ghost slides from the back. “That’s basically abuse.”

In a desperate attempt to relieve the cramping behind her thighs, Flash bends forward, slipping her hands under her sneakers. A relieved moan splits her lips, muffled into the fabric of her pants. Careful not to go light-headed, she slowly straightens out before reaching her hands above her and pushing her chest out. It feels fucking amazing.

When she finishes and turns to the two guys behind her, she can’t help but laugh. Ghost’s face is turned away, eyes downcast in a way that promises Flash his cheeks are burning hot. Soap glances between the two of them before laughing loudly and stalking off toward the large building that, in Flash’s humble opinion, does not look anything like a farmhouse. If it weren’t for the large yellow barn nestled into the field next to it, the large concrete building would probably look like a prison.

Flash is about to follow after Soap, both eager to get to the briefing, and much to her annoyance, nervous to see Alejandro and Valeria, when a gentle hand grasps her elbow. She turns to find Ghost, still hovering near the car, one hand held behind his back.

“Whats up?” She asks, eyeing his hidden hand and taking a few curious steps towards him.

“I uh-” Ghost stutters in a way that two days before would leave Flash shellshocked, but after seeing him so vulnerable the night before, she just nods for him to continue. “I have something for you.”

“Ooh a gift?” Flash says, trying to peek around his body, but the bulk of his shoulders easily blocks her vision.

“It’s nothing, really. Just something small. I didn’t think you had one and you were looking at it. Then there was that guy.” He rambles, ducking his head slightly.

Flash has to squeeze her hands into fists to keep from grabbing his face and kissing him. Even through the mask would be better than nothing, but the few moments of silence that lapse between his rambles and her watching the way his hand endearingly fidgets at his belt helps her somewhat regain her self control.

“If it’s important to you. It’s important to me.” She says softly and steps closer. “Now let me see.”

He hesitates for one more second before pulling his hand from behind him and showing her a folded blue square in his hand. Flash’s heart stops for a moment and then starts back up so fast that she nearly passes out. It’s the cerulean scarf she’d seen at the market.

“Ghost-” Her voice catches as she reaches up and pulls the silk from his hand, mouth suddenly dry.

“I just thought it would help, the dust is bad and- I think I got the right one, the blue right-”

He’s cut off with a huff as Flash throws herself against him. She wraps her arms around his chest squeezing hard. The rough velco of his vest scrapes her cheek, and something is pushing painfully against her ear, but she doesn’t let go.

“Thank you.” She says quietly.

The words, muffled into his chest, are barely audible. He doesn’t respond, but a few moments later, she feels a hand rest lightly against her shoulderblades. When she doesn’t let go, his other hand slides up, pulling her into him.

“Let's head in,” Flash says, reluctantly pulling away and sliding her hand into his, before tugging him towards the "farmhouse".

They make it just a few paces before he slides his hand from hers and takes two measured steps in front of her. Flash is about to question him, but leaning against the open door of the farmhouse is Alejandro, handsome as ever.

"We've been waiting." He nods to Ghost, shifting out of the doorway to let him pass. Flash watches him go with a confused glare. "Everything okay Rubia."

"Yeah," She breathes, brushing past him without looking at his face. "Everything's fine."

_____

Much to her disappointment. The briefing is not as entertaining as she’d thought it would be. Both Alejandro and Price would be making final decisions tonight. This briefing was only to go over the information they already knew. But she still listened diligently and took her notes at appropriate times. Alejandro didn’t do so much as glance in her direction as he spoke, both he and Valeria remained impassive during the meeting. It made Flash wonder how many of the people sitting around her had shared a bed with them. Her eyes land on Gaz, who seems to be a little too focused on Alejandro's hands as he retraces a path on one of the topograph maps. She glances over to Ghost, hoping to point his attention to Gaz and his drooling mouth, but he stays facing the front of the room. Even when she stares at him, practically burning holes into the back of his masked head, he doesn’t turn around. So when the lights shut off and the projector whirs to life, she grabs the pen resting next to his paper, making a point to doodle little hearts at the corner of her paper when he finally looks her way. Instead of shaking his head and laughing like he usually does in response to her minor thievery, he pulls another pen from his pocket and holds it in his hand.

Annoyed at Ghost's sudden coldness and bored out of her mind, Flash turns to Gaz to whisper in his ear,

“Do you think if you stare at his crotch enough, you’ll see through his pants?”

His face goes bright red and a stuttered cough cuts off the briefing.

“You okay Gaz?” Alejandro asks, raising a dark brow as Gaz hits his chest with a fist, still coughing.

“Yes, sir. Fine.” Gaz mutters.

Alejandro continues on, using a meter stick to draw an invisible line down a projected image of a warehouse.

Flash leans back to Gaz’s ear again, feeling malicious. “Is that what you call him in the bedroom? Sir?”

This time Gaz chokes, coughing wildly as Flash bites back a smile and forces her brows to pinch in concern as she pats his back.

She does get Ghost's attention this time, but much to her disappointment, yet again, it's just a small shake of his head. Flash glares pointedly back.

“What is going on. Are you sure you’re okay?” Alejandro asks again.

“I’m going to go grab some water and air, I’ll be right back.” Gaz bites out between coughs.

Flash lasts another two and a half minutes after he leaves before muttering something about checking on Gaz and wandering out of the room and down the hall.

It’s here, with fists shoved deep into her pockets that she passes a set of double doors propped open to reveal a small training room. It's modest compared to the one back at their base. The back wall is decorated with an assortment of real and fake weapons and a thick green mat covers the stained cement. A bright red sign nailed to one of the doors threatens suspension to anyone who brings the weapons out of the confinements of the training room. She's about to walk by, wanting to slip out of the building and explore the barn. But her curiosity wins over and she hovers in the dim hallway.

Once Flash is there, watching the fighting pairs, she's surprised it took her so long to hear the grunting and unmistakable thud of bodies bouncing off worn foam. One of the men leaning against the back wall, who'd been intently watching a rather unfair match play out, starts towards her in a slow prowl. The challenge is clear, confidence leaks from him like a poison, and his eyes scan her body, lingering for a few seconds on her chest. She recognizes him from the meeting, but can't quite remember his name. Liam? Larson?

"Get er' Lucas!" One of the guys calls, following with a series of whooping howls. She sends him a withering glare and is about to stalk away to find Gaz when her drifting eyes catch on a brightly colored package peaking from Lucas' pocket. Maybe just one match and then she'd find him.

"What do you say Rubia? Just you and me?" He stops just a few feet from her, close enough that she can smell the sweat that sticks the front of his shirt to his muscled chest.

She has to bite back a laugh at the stuttered way Alejandro's pet name falls from his lips. A far cry from the other man's smoothness. It's not that Lucas isn't attractive, his body is well-shaped and thick dark hair falls into a pair of bright hazel eyes. If she wasn't so busy at the academy she might have even gone for a guy like him. But all she can think of is Ghost's kind eyes and if she's being honest, the shape of his ass in one of the heli harnesses. She doesn't have to see Lucas's backside to know it'll pale in comparison.

"I don't know." Flash looks him up and down, letting the boredom in her eyes shine. "You look a little," she waves one hand around as if it will pull the word from thin air "small."

Lucas flinches back, obviously not used to being rejected.

"Then it should be quick, no?" His smile is back now, and just as flirty as before.

She relents, “Rules?” She prompts, stretching her shoulders and removing the belt from her waist, doing her best to ignore the pinch as her stitched skin pulls taught.

“Clean fight. First one to tap loses.”

Flash nods and smiles widely, more than eager to move after sitting for the past five hours. Lucas smiles wide, almost looking feral with a pair of pointed canines.

She follows him to the mat and they square up, him guarding high over his jaw and her standing still, hands at her side. Someone behind them shouts a command and Lucas is lunging, striking hard and fast towards her exposed midsection. She easily sidesteps him, having seen the flex in his exposed calf muscle just a moment before. Childs play.

Flash lets him lunge, easily dancing around his brutally thrown fists and elbows as he tires himself out. She can already tell he’s used to using his weight as an advantage rather than a tool. Much like every other man she’s fought.

After a particularly poorly timed left hook, Lucas lets out a frustrated growl. Taking pity on him, Flash sighs before darting towards him. In just under two seconds, she’s slipped her leg behind his knees and with one shove of her elbow has him sprawled on the mat, blinking widely. In another second, she’s locked her bicep over his neck and tightened her legs around his chest in a breath-squeezing grip.

When he doesn’t stop squirming, her bicep tightens around his throat, "Tap." She orders, calm and unwavering. "You've already lost."

Nails scrape at her grip leaving angry red scratches against the back of her hand and wrist. She winces but doesn't relent. His gasping lips have turned pale and the veins at his forehead bulge against sweating skin. If he doesn't tap he'll pass out, she's sure of it. His fingers scratch at her hand again, but this time they’re fumbling and slow. The men surrounding her are shouting at him to fight back and Flash wonders if they're too ignorant to see that the lack of oxygen has left his limbs useless, or if they're just that dumb.

Just as his eyes start to roll back, there's a weak tap against her outer thigh. She immediately releases and Lucas scrambles back against the mat, shoving her to the side in the process, and hunches over, violently coughing between gags.

"What the fuck." He spits out, still curled into himself, red face inches above the dirty mat. "What the fuck is wrong with you."

Pushing herself to her feet, Flash stalks towards him and jabs a finger at his sweating glare. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She wasn't about to let him make her feel guilty, he'd started it, she just saw it through.

Lucas just stares at her with bloodshot eyes and the room around them stays silent. Nosy Bastards.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with you." She continues, stepping forward to rub the dirty tread of her shoe against the white of his shirt before leaning down, their faces just inches apart. "You're too slow."

He says nothing, even as she reaches over and snatches the cellophane bag of sweets from his pocket.

_____

Happily picking through the bag of candy she’d so fairly won, Flash wanders the property kicking rocks and half-assedly looking for Gaz. Just before she's about to turn and head back, she stumbles upon a smell that she can only describe as animal.

When Flash stops in front of the open barn doors, her jaw drops. One of the biggest horses she’d ever seen stands before her, lazily chewing on a mouthful of hay. She has to crane her head upward to see the ginger mane falling in neat tendrils over a huge, muscled neck. It's as beautiful as it is terrifying.

The horse's nose is soft like plush velvet when she runs a single finger across it, and surprisingly warm. The deep chestnut of its eyes stays relaxed and half-lidded so she strokes it again, this time with her palm. When she does, warm puffs of air blow against her hand and she jumps back, heart racing. The horse seems to sense this and with its long, nimble legs, lowers itself to the ground, nestling into the dry hay bed at her feet. Following it down, Flash drops to her knees and sits back against her heels, feeling braver now that they’re nearly face to face. Well, face to muzzle.

“You aren’t so mean. Huh?” She speaks softly, pressing her palm between the dark, watchful eyes and feeling the warmth of its skin. “Are you a boy or a girl?”

“She’s a girl.”

Flash falls backward, feet slipping from under her in the slick hay when a deep voice calls out from behind her. But large hands are under her arms in seconds, pulling her up and to her feet.

Ghost stands in front of her now, mouth quirked into a small smile under the cotton of his mask. “That’s the second time I’ve had to keep you from knockin’ yourself out.” His hands linger, squeezing her biceps reassuringly before dropping to his sides. “How often does this happen when I’m not around?”

“I- what?” Flash’s heart still beats wildly in her chest, partially from nearly cracking her head off the paved ground, but mostly from the looming presence in front of her. “What?”

“She’s a girl.” Ghost continues, choosing not to repeat his question. “Maple I think. One of Alejandro’s first girls. She’s a sweetheart.” He steps closer to Flash and for a moment she thinks he’s about to grab her, but then he’s reaching past her to rest a hand on the patch of cream-colored fur her own had been resting against just minutes before. Maple's eyes close and she pushes against his hand, moving to nose his palm. Ghost responds by loosening each finger of his glove before pulling it off and tucking it in his waistband. Flash watches intently as he returns his hand to the spot and smooths it upwards, following the patch of cream between her eyes.

“Do you still have that candy?”

Ghost's voice snaps her back and with burning cheeks, she pulls the small plastic bag from her pocket, feeling a pinch of shame at being caught but called out. “How did you know?”

“One of the guys was complaining.” He starts before turning to look at her, his brow furrows slightly at the scratches covering the back of her hand and forearm, but it eases when he glances up at her face. “And your mouth is bright red.”

Handing the bag to him, Flash uses the back of her other hand to wipe at her lips but it’s no use. “Horses can have candy?” She asks, now scrubbing her mouth with the sleeve of her fleece.

Ghost responds by pulling one of the round, brightly colored candies and placing it on the flat of his bare palm before extending it to Maple.

“Some.” He speaks lowly and in a calming tone that Flash knows is for the horse's sake, but she can't help but melt all the same. Maple picks the candy up with the soft skin of her lips before crunching it between a powerful set of teeth. “This stuff is just dyed sugar. They sell it everywhere.”

Then he’s grabbing her hand, flattening her fingers with a gentle swipe before setting a purple one on her palm. It's only when he starts to move her arm towards Maple's giant mouth that she jerks back, closing the candy tight in her palm. It’s sticky and in just a few seconds starts to melt against the heat of her skin.

“Keep your hand flat.” His hand curls around her forearm to grasp her wrist. “I promise she won’t bite. Open.”

At his command, Flash opens her palm and with shaking fingers, lets him guide her arm outwards with his hand wrapped reassuringly around her wrist. At the last moment, Flash shuts her eyes tight, not wanting to see the grisly sight of her fingers being ground to a pulp. But she’s only met with Maple’s warm breath and the tickle of whiskers as her soft lips take the sticky candy from her hand. A nervous laugh bubbles up from her own mouth, a mix of relief and joy at the strange feeling.

“See,” Ghost's voice vibrates from a warm chest, nearly pressed against her back. His hand still grips her wrist, “I told you she wouldn’t bite.”

“I trust you.” Flash says to their hands, “I just don’t trust the horse.”

“Give her another. This time with your eyes open.” She doesn’t ask how he knew her eyes were closed.

With open eyes, Flash lets Ghost set another candy, a bright orange one, onto her palm. Her wrist, still encompassed by his gentle hand, moves on its own accord towards Maple’s brown muzzle. She takes it just as sweetly as before, in a soft kiss of whiskers.

Flash does laugh this time, a sweet laugh that has her falling back a step with the effort, right into Ghost.

When she turns to apologize, still laughing, the words die on her tongue. He stares down at her, eyes wide and burning with so much emotion her breath catches in her throat. His own breath comes shakily through his nose as he brings a hand up to tuck a stray curl behind her ear before dropping it back to his side.

“Do you want to ride her?” He whispers, still staring intently at her face.

“Fuck no.” Flash breathes. But she doesn’t stop him as he pulls a saddle off a post and begins to strap it to a now-standing Maple. She doesn’t stop him when he lifts her like a rag doll and places her in the saddle, or when he gracefully swings himself up to sit behind her. And she doesn’t stop him when he reaches around her to hold the brown leather reins and guide them out and onto a dirt trail. She could have, but she doesn’t.

She’d severely underestimated the proximity that riding a horse with someone requires. Every inch of their bodies molded together, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. It’s glorious. She can’t help but settle back a bit, reveling in the way his arms wrap around her shoulders.

The setting sun shines orange and yellow across the tan field, turning it into an ocean of waving ochre honey, and the rest of the green flowing forest into a golden meadow. It seeps into her very bones, dragging her heartbeat to a dull thump that sounds in time with the gentle rocking of Maple's steps. She shifts further back, now laying entirely across Ghost's chest and nestling into the warm spot between his neck and shoulder. It smells delightfully of sweat, oranges, and dirt. He stiffens at first, she doesn’t know if it’s surprise or discomfort, but he relaxes just a moment later, resting his chin gently atop her head. And there, nestled in the warmth of his embrace and lulled by the swaying steps of sweet Maple. Flash closes her eyes and wills her mind to remember every detail, begs her body not to forget the gentle shift of muscle against her back as Ghost directs them down a rough path he seems to know so well.

“You’ve done this before?” Her question is quiet, spoken through a drowsy fog.

Ghost moves the reins to one hand and uses the other to gently knit their fingers together, the way she’d done in his truck. Here in her sleep-drunk state, the effort it takes for him to fit his fingers between her own smaller ones is too comical. “Yes,” His thumb rubs up and down the ridges of her knuckles, no doubt soothing his own nerves, “I’ve spent a lot of time here. Alejandro has done a lot for me.”

“With the horses?”

“Well,” he starts, hesitatingly, “A few years ago, I was having a rough time. Things were not going my way.” A large breath presses his chest tightly against her back “Alejandro let me stay with him for as long as I needed.”

“So you became a cowboy?” She teases, squeezing his hand tight.

“Not right away,” he laughs lightly and Flash involuntarily presses back into the sound, “I was scared shitless. Alejandro had to practically force me into the barn. But then I learned more about them. How compassionate and loving they are. Did you know they can have a whole conversation with just their ears?”

Flash hums encouragingly, hoping he’ll keep talking, if only to feel his voice against her back.

“They can love too. They’ll bond to someone, and love them the same way a human would. Real love.” An eager note shifts his voice, something Flash had never heard before.

“And did you bond with Maple?” Flash speaks into the soft cotton of his jacket.

“No,” a sigh tickles the soft hair at her nape “though we did get close. I have another horse. Her name is Rose.”

“Pretty name.” Flash hums “Where is she?”

Ghost stiffens again, and this time it takes him a few more beats to settle back and even longer to respond.

“She’s being cared for by my neighbor.”

“What’s she look like?” Flash’s voice is drifting, and the lids of her eyes seem impossibly heavy. She starts to imagine his home. A cupboard filled with chipped mugs and a wooden drying rack next to a deep basin sink. She’s decided that he’s not one to use a dishwasher.

“Golden hair,” his hand reaches up to tug at a strand of her own and she bats a hand at him, completely missing through her half-lidded gaze. “Blue eyes.” He’s brushing his hand along her cheekbone now and the feeling is like a magnet, tugging her eyes closed with a final drag down the bridge of her nose. “And a fiery temperament.”

“Are you calling me a horse?” Flash mumbles, half incoherent. But Ghost manages to decipher it and laughs breathily.

“No, I’m just noticing some similarities.” His hand reaches up to smooth the hair at her temple. Its awfully delightful.

“You keep doing that I’m going to fall asleep.” She threatens, even though they both know she’s far past salvation.

“That’s okay.” His hand drops to wrap around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. “I won’t let you fall.”

“Okay.”

And for the first time since the incident, Flash falls asleep without the anxiety of what she’ll miss, what will pull her from her sheets, screaming and clawing. For the first time in weeks, she falls asleep in the sweet embrace of safety.

A/N: You cannot tell me that Flash isn't an ass woman. She's going to be grabbing handfuls soon.

Also the idea of Ghost hyper fixating on horses AUGGHH HES TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD

Anywaysss, thank you for sticking with me through all of this. I love all of you and will talk to you again very soon!

#Ghost x reader #Ghost x female oc #SImon riley #Cod fic #Simon Ghost Riley #Alejandro Vargas #Valeria #Modern Warfare 2 #Ghost stories #Headcannons #John soap mactavish #John Price #MW2 #Gaz Garrick

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