#always comparing my body to someone else's ideas of what's acceptable

[invacuo9]

everytime you look in the mirror and CHOOSE to feel good despite the supposed flaws in appearance, you win. remember that. fuck the system.

#I'm tired of beauty standards #always comparing my body to someone else's ideas of what's acceptable #naah #living my life like its golden #beauty standards #toxic culture #feminism

[liveontelevision]

If I don't get more to that babysitter story soon I might just go into full withdrawals.

Well shit here you go bbg

Exams are mostly over which means I can suffer more! :)

This is definitely gonna be a multi-part series at this point, and I am working on part 3 already so - ya

Disclaimer: This is my personal interpretation of the characters from Hazbin Hotel. I respect the canon storyline and characters, but this fic will stray from it a decent amount.

Enjoy this very angsty mildly smutty continuation of Suffer Pt. 1!

Suffer Pt. 2 | Lucifer x Reader

Things didn't exactly get easier for you after your stupid dalliance with Lucifer. Obviously, you lost your job. But you were a nanny, you lived in the manor. And now you have to find new housing somewhere else in Hell. You haven't been out on the streets in years, and protection was essentially guaranteed as a royal staff member, so it was definitely.. a change of pace. Getting some tips from your previous coworkers who lived outside the manor, you did your best to weave through the murderous streets to find some sort of safety.

“Hello? Anyone home?” The apartment you entered was located in a ratty-looking motel that sat in the middle of a more secluded area in Pentagram City. No matter how dirty, it did seem a little safer considering the distance between other sinners. Scanning the apartment, considering no one answered to your previous call, you hesitantly stepped through the door. An imp you used to work with at the hotel advised you to take some sort of protection out there. He handed you an incredibly sleek pistol. It was tiny, even compared to the size of your smaller hands. It was easy to slip in and out of the little holster on your outer thigh. Scoffing at the idea of needing to shoot anyone, you accepted it humbly. Just to be safe.

Looking out a busted window, surrounded by broken glass, you saw the demon who must've lived here. A twisted corpse, covered in splatters of blood and dirt. A long angelic spear, still standing, sits firmly in the center of their chest, a collection of other stab wounds littered across the rest of the body. Fuck. You knew about exterminations, everyone did. It was always a solemn day back at the manor, but you’ve never witnessed its actual afflictions. You stumbled backward, tripping over some random debris and falling to the floor, your heart pounding heavily in your chest. The fear you felt, the sharp pain in your palms where the glass shards had pierced you, it was all too much. Struggling to your knees, you crawl to the wall, leaning back against it with a thud. A sudden paranoia that someone may hear any noise you made, kept your breathing shallow. You pulled your knees to your chest, sitting in the dark room entirely alone. You wished you weren't alone. You wished he was here.

The last extermination day was about three months ago, so you knew the place hadn't been touched in at least that long. And as gruesome as it may sound, you now had a place to stay in the meantime. But, what are you supposed to do now? You were sure there weren't any families in Hell looking for a babysitter.. You could do little things, like mending clothes, cooking, and cleaning, but.. None of those skills were strong enough to get you into anything remotely as comfortable as being a royal nanny. Cell Phones were a thing at this time, but you never had a reason to have one before, so that’d be something you have to work for. You were essentially starting from scratch, as if you had just arrived in Hell.

You had to take to the streets. Walking nervously, with one hand on your little emergency weapon, you peeked into stores to see who might be hiring. Surprisingly, a quaint little bakery was just around the corner. Stepping inside, the little bell notifies the black-eyed woman standing at the counter. After a quick conversation, and browsing some of the baked goods, it finally clicked that you had walked straight into cannibal town without realizing. But.. It was surprisingly nice. The woman said she did need help in the kitchen, and while the image of cleaning blood and bones off baking pans made you shiver, it could've been worse.

With some hard work and absolute dumb luck, you managed to become a customer favorite. There were some close calls, gentlemen would always get a whiff of your scent before kissing your hand as a greeting, and sometimes you would even feel their teeth graze across your knuckles. The owner was such a lovely woman, despite also being a cannibal, she would swat at any unwanted advances and scold anyone who dared to taste her “best worker”. After a couple months, you were able to pretty up your inherited apartment, and it finally felt like somewhere you could call home.

And a few months after that, you would actually consider yourself in a good place. Bringing some homey decor into your new place, you had the urge to bring a few friends by. The only issue was, you didn't have friends. You were close to the owner, but she was.. Old fashioned. And customers were just that; customers. You were getting antsy though. You rummaged through the small duffle you took with you from the Morningstar residence and found a mildly appealing outfit. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you let out a dissatisfied hum. With one fell swoop, you took the bottom of your skirt and tore it fully around your legs. The dress that normally flowed sweetly to your calves, now flounced to your thighs. With one more spin, where you saw a little too much under your skirt, you decided that this would definitely get you some friends.

Oh, and how right you were. You made many “friends”. You played every card in the book, using dozens of excuses to bring home any demon who showed interest. You were careful about it, you could handle yourself, after all. You were finally getting the attention you deserved. But.. it wasn't from him. Each time you’d walk to work you’d see a flier or a billboard with the king of Hell’s grinning face on it. It churned your stomach each time. 

At this point, after some soul-searching, you decided on one thing. This was all Lucifer’s fault. How dare he smile at you the way he did. How could he constantly keep you company, making you wonder why you were even hired as a nanny? How could he so easily touch you without getting as nervous as you did? How could he kiss you the way he did, then call it a mistake? He did nothing to defend you. But these demons in your bed each night? They would do anything for just a taste of you and had no problem admitting that.

After finally appeasing your physical needs, you stopped pursuing demons. It’s been a few years since you've settled in, and now you look back at some of your hookups with a cringe. That was progress, right? Admitting it was just a phase? 

Your traveling hands told you otherwise. At night, especially after a long shift where your mind was too tired to think straight, your hands would trail down the center of your stomach. You could never explain what got you in this state, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you had to know. Taking no time, with your exhaustion quick to take over, you rubbed small circles across your still-clothed cunt. You held your blanket to your mouth to muffle any noises. You picked up the speed.

“Nng.. L-Lucifer..”  You moaned out softly, your blanket slipping out of your clenched fist. A swell of pleasure caused you to arch your back into your hand, still playing with your overstimulated cunt. After letting yourself calm down, you simply sit with tired eyes, looking at the ceiling with a visible glare. Well, shit.

—

“U-Uh.. Lillith, my love, don’t you think we should -” A quick glare back at the nervous king caused him to shut his mouth.

“Get yourself cleaned up, darling. Then, we’ll figure everything out.” She sounded far too calm for his liking, but once he turned to a mirror in a nearby vanity, he choked on any response he might have. He was covered in your lipstick. Fuck, he loved being covered in your lipstick. Quickly shaking the thought out of his head, he went off to clean up his face. Splashing water onto his face and neck, he let out a heavy sigh, refusing to look into his reflection. Even he’s ashamed to look into his eyes after what he’s done.

After folding his coat and draping it over a nearby chair, he carefully approached Lillith, who had sat down gracefully at the edge of their shared bed. She was holding up some papers with a purple haze, and with a flick of her wrist, she dropped certain ones into a nearby portal. Lucifer gathered the courage to sit next to his wife. He still kept a good distance, twisting his ring around his finger as a nervous fidget.

“What do you think of this one, dear?” Leaning in close to him, Lillith presents a piece of paper that she had just been looking at. A sudden chill ran down his spine, scanning the sheet. A picture of a homely demon, looking absolutely ancient, was clipped to piles of papers with references, experiences, and skills. Overall, if this were a normal situation, she would be a perfect fit to take care of Charlie. But so soon? He didn't want to bring that up. Hey! Can’t you keep the demon, who you just caught me sucking on, for a little while longer? That’s ridiculous.

“W-Well, sure, I’m sure Charlie would love her.. Great choice.. Love.” He was always quick to tell her or give her whatever would make her happy. He owed her that after all. After dragging her to the pits of Hell that he created.

“Hm! Well, that’s settled. I suggest you head to the other room for the night, you must understand how I’m feeling after what I saw.” She sounds absolutely heartless. Not in a way that comes off as cruel, just in the way she barely seems affected by something that weighs on his mind so heavily. Either way, he nodded and left their bedroom. 

No servants came to help him get ready for bed, as they usually do. Which isn't an issue, he wasn't completely incompetent. But it did leave him alone for the first time in centuries. Really, when was the last time he had been alone in a room for longer than a few minutes? He tried to not get caught up in the thought, shifting under the covers of the bed. It felt new. It felt unused.

Maybe it was the discomfort of sleeping in a bed that hadn't been touched for who knows how long, but Lucifer spent most of the night tossing and turning. How could he sleep with his mind so full of regret? But then, what was he regretting exactly? Was it the cheating on the one woman who's been by him through everything? Or was he regretting not saying something to you sooner? Not shutting the door when he had the chance? Regretting letting you go without a fight?

At some point in the night, he shot up, a sweating mess. He was still exhausted, even with the notion that he had just woken up from some night terror. Finally catching his breath, he slumps back down, shifting into some other sleeping position. With that one motion, he felt the stiffening problem in his shorts. Fuck. It wasn't there the whole night, but he knew exactly why it was here now. He laid on his back, spreading his knees a bit to gain better access to his aching groin. With the same goal of getting it over with, so he could go back to sleep, he palmed at his shorts before releasing his throbbing cock. Even if he convinced himself that this was just to help him get back to sleep, he couldn't prevent picturing you as he started to toy with himself

If you could see him in this state, you'd go mad. The image of him letting out soft whimpers to no one and pumping his own shaft, wishing his hand was your own.

With a speedy resolve, Lucifer pulls away his hand. Already disgusted with himself for essentially sending you to the streets to fend for yourself, he cleaned himself up before continuing to lay in the unfamiliar bed. The rest of the night was spent staring at the ceiling. It was all so.. Empty. He was so used to hearing the soft breathing of someone sleeping beside him, the comfort of being able to just turn his head and know he wasn't alone. He didn’t exactly miss the smell, but he could recognize the difference. The fragrance of whatever Lillith would use on her hair or skin, right before she would sleep, was gone. There was still a lingering scent, though. He couldn't quite place his finger on it. A sudden flash of your flushed appearance, ringing with an anticipation he hadn't seen in years, formed in his mind. He could have covered you in love bites and bruises right that instant - Oh. That must be it; He was smelling you. His senses were overwhelmed. By you.

“Sire! Breakfast!” A hasty knock at the bedroom door sent him sitting up quickly. He was still groggy since it didn't feel like he fell asleep at all. A random servant let themselves in, a tray of assorted breakfast pickings sitting heavily in their hands as they glided quickly to place it over his lap. He didn't normally have breakfast in bed. A surprise usually viewed as a treat, felt morbid to him. He usually had breakfast with..

With a heavy sigh, he dismisses the imp and pushes the tray off his lap. Who could have an appetite after everything that went on the night before?

As the days started to pass, Lillith eventually started acting like nothing had changed. Your replacement was quick to start working. Lucifer got along with her fine and Charlie seemed to like her plenty. Could this really be swept under the rug? Was a little kiss not worth a serious discussion after all these years? Apparently so. Neither of the royals brought it up to each other after that. They were actually fighting less than before - that is - Lucifer didn't feel it fair to try and rebuttal any of her arguments. And.. that’s the end of it. Just a fling that occurred on a restless night. Just a sinner making another sinful mistake, and the king of Hell creating more problems. There wasn't any more to it.

—

Extermination Day was fast approaching. This wasn't your first, but it was definitely jarring compared to how you handled it at the Morningstar Manor. You boarded up your windows, tore apart curtains, and generally made your hand-me-down apartment seem abandoned. No point in looking for sinners in an empty building, right? You were surprisingly calm, considering the circumstances, you brought a damned book to read while hiding in the safest area of your home. You didn't think much of it, Not until the screams began.

The battle cries became increasingly louder. The exorcists were quick to get to work, spreading their attacks through the most heavily populated areas first. The shouting and sobbing of other demons suddenly registered in your mind. You're terrified. It's easy for sinners to take their position for granted during their first year. You died on Earth, but here you are in Hell. You die in Hell, you regenerate, so you can continue your eternal punishment. But this extermination? It finally clicked in your mind that this could be it. This could be your end and you have no idea what would happen to you afterwards. Was there anything beyond Hell? Your spiraling thoughts were brought to a halt when some of the expertly nailed boards on your windows went flying across the room. You were safely tucked away in a closet, it wasn't closed, just ajar. You hoped that little detail would keep it clear that no demon would be stupid enough to hide in an open closet. You heard rustling, some things breaking, then breathing. She was so close to the closet, that you could hear her breathing. As she reached for the doorknob and you prepared for the worst, you could hear a command coming from outside. The exorcist left through your window in one fell swoop. You had no idea if that was the end of the extermination or if you had only managed to avoid one angel.

Gripping your knees to your chest, only prolonging your struggling breathing, you hoped for one thing. Your mind went spinning, as it does on occasion; After rough days or when certain guests weren't treating you very well, you would wish for help. In your fantasies, a knight in shining armor would come in, kick down the door, and save the day. He would whisk you off your feet and you'd have your happy ending. But today, extermination day, you wanted nothing more than for Lucifer to hold you. Not to save you, defend you from dangers, or play the hero, but to embrace you. Keep you close to his chest and tell you everything was going to be okay, and that you'll look back on this later and laugh. That you'll always be safe as long as you're with him.

Why did you have to ruin it? Things were so good before. You were safe, technically wealthy, and had a friend. A real friend who would help pick up your work if you ever felt the slightest overwhelmed, someone who would support and praise you, someone who would make you laugh. And you were too horned up to consider you could lose all of it.

A sharp pain running down your back forces you awake. Taking the time to recognize your surroundings, you recall crying yourself to sleep in the cramped safe haven you made for yourself. At least it worked. You're still here. Despite everything, you're still here. Taking your time, you stretched your stiff body and examined the damage to your home. It was in absolute shambles. The sight of the busted window made your blood run cold, just imagining an exorcist exploring your personal space. You took a mental note of everything you still had and carefully sat at the edge of your bed, your sheets littered with shards of window glass. This has to stop. You need some kind of respite again, you can't survive like this anymore.

—

You were embarrassed. It felt so strange going somewhere and admitting you need help, that was always a struggle for you. But to crawl to the establishment ran by Charlie? The toddler you raised? It would be near impossible to admit defeat to her. But you were shunned by the rest of the royal family, and quickly discovered you can't make it just living alone as a demon. There's only one other option. Heaven. You supposed it was time to give Redemption a shot. What else do you have to lose?

You hesitate to knock on the door once you're greeted with the signs hanging all over the front of the building. Homemade flyers and banners decorate the walls, saying things like Sinners Welcome!, Escape Redemption!, Ascend to the Heavens!, but the most important one was Free Housing! You knock so lightly on the door, that you have to do it again. It swung open -

You aren't exactly shocked by her appearance, she's been displayed on the news and you've seen her commercials a few times, but you still felt a stabbing pain in your chest. It was from a combination of nerves and.. was that pride? To see this little girl, you helped raise for a moment, as a grown woman who was pursuing her dreams?

She immediately bombarded you with questions and greetings. She still had that energy, didn't she?

"This is the lobby! And over here is the bar, if you drink, and here is -” You started to tune out her voice, still smiling and nodding when she looked at you. Taking in your surroundings, you would at least smile at the other demons you'd make eye contact with. You recognized Angel Dust, obviously a celebrity in Hell, but the rest were strangers to you. Emphasis on strange.

Finally appearing from the shadows, you did actually recognize the so-called radio demon. He would frequently come into your bakery with the overlord of Cannibal Town, Rosie. You'd serve them, which was not normally a service you'd provide, but your boss insisted. He seemed nice enough from those interactions, you saw no reason to fear him. Yet. He was kind enough to stop you and Charlie to chat.

"Ah, a familiar face!" He greeted you by taking up your hand and placing a light kiss on your knuckles, immediately sending shivers down your spine. "Pleasure to see you, again, dear." He spoke into your hand. "Quit the pleasure~" Your hand still held to his lips, he looked up to meet your eyes. With a nervous chuckle and a nod, you pull your hand away, almost pushing Charlie to move on. You didn't want him to see your flustered face.

"So.. How's your dad been?" You idiot. Why would you ask that? You didn't want to know the answer.

"Oh! Um.. That's a weird question - We don't talk much, he's doing important things you know, considering he's the king and all, but uh..good! Pretty sure he's.. good..." Her nervous reactions were just like her father's, but you didn't have time to dwell on that. You knew Lillith had disappeared, everyone did. You wondered what happened. You wondered what it would be like if you were still in the manor with them. If Lucifer would treat you differently with Lillith gone.. Stop. 

“Well, I used to work at the manor, actually.. erm.. Do you recognize me..? By any chance?" Charlie's face gleamed with excitement as she took your hands into hers. You were hopeful for a second.

"That is so cool! I haven't been home in ages.. so I'm not sure I remember you but - wow, we have so much to talk about!" She let out an excited squeal that left you smiling nervously. She didn't recognize you. That was fair, you only knew her when she was young, but you thought.. maybe...

Aging in Hell worked differently. While Charlie had truly grown, you've looked the same for multiple decades. You almost hoped that would trigger something in her mind.. thinking about it, you'd love to reconnect with her. But you can't. You can't look at her without seeing him. Maybe her not recognizing you is the best for now.

You settled into the hotel pretty quickly, and considering your housekeeping skills, the rest of the staff and residents seemed to warm up to you, asking for help with little things like mending or baking. You also helped Charlie with anything you could. She had a lot of questions about what her childhood home was like before she came along, and you had to do your best to dance around the important details.

As you were fixing up a skirt for Angel, one that was torn straight in half, your head was suddenly with radio static. A shadowy figure appeared in front of you. With Alastor looking down at you, he was much more intimidating. Doesn't stop the fact that he made you blush like crazy.

"Alastor. What's up?" You turned your head back down to continue your sewing, trying to keep a cool facade, then felt the seat next to you dip slightly.

"A little birdy told me you have an.. interesting past. Sounds like you have quite the history with the royal family, correct?" You hesitantly nod.

"I'd love to hear some stories if you have anything.. juicy." He definitely learned that word from Rosie. You chuckled at the sound of such a modern word warped with static. You gave him the same details you would tell Charlie, vague and definitely not juicy.

As you spoke and sewed at the same time, you ended up jabbing your finger with the needle. With a disappointed groan, you squeezed your finger, letting the blood drop grow. A quick reaction, Alastor lightly took a grasp of your wrist and brought your finger to his lips. With just a single swipe of his tongue, he wiped the blood clean. You tried your best to act disgusted, he was a cannibal after all, but your face was still heating up.

“O-Ookay.. thank you, I suppose..? Anyway..” You took a moment to shake any inappropriate thoughts from your head before returning to your stories. Alastor simply sat and nodded, occasionally letting out a little chortle at something you tried to joke about. "It was definitely a cushy job, I mean, you get free housing as a nanny, protection, food and - "

"A nanny, hmm?" Fuck. You quickly dropped what you were doing to face him. "Alastor, please don't say anything to Charlie. She doesn't even remember me since I had to leave when she was young, and I.. I want to keep it that way, okay? Keep this between us? Please?" You were begging. You had a great relationship with Charlie right now, there was no point bringing up the past. Or the mistakes you've made. You didn't see his smile grow, but it definitely did.

"Not a problem, my dear! I'm not one to blab.. since you asked so nicely." He looked at his clawed fingers as if they were neatly painted nails. You let out a sigh of relief, shakily reaching for your little sewing project in your lap to proceed where you left off.

"Thanks. I owe you one." You had no idea what you did, but apparently, that was enough for him. Enough to signal a deal. You officially owed Alastor a favor, and you had no idea what that could entail.

—

“Okay, everyone! My dad agreed to come and see what I'm - what we - are doing here! This could really help the hotel, so we are going to pretty it up and make it as welcoming as we can!” Charlie stood on the previously used trust-fall stage as she spoke.

“We’ve got one hour, people! Let’s get going!” The command from Vaggie, only made you sweat more. You stood in the small crowd of recently made friends, suddenly shrinking where you stood. You had no idea what Lucifer had been up to these past years. He definitely wasn't making any public appearances and Charlie rarely talked about him, so you just assumed he wasn't interested in her little project. It was shocking to you at first, that the gentle father you used to know had barely even spoken to her in almost a decade.

But that's beside the point. He was coming to the hotel. Stepping off the stage as the crowd dispersed, Charlie came directly to you. She held onto both your hands, before shining a giddy smile your way.

“Isn’t it exciting? Maybe he’ll recognize you! It’ll be like a little reunion!”  You simply smiled and nodded, before quickly stepping away. Charlie started directing people, nicely, to start cleaning things up and creating banners and other decorations. A familiar static ran through your core as you hit the top of the stairs, ready to hide wherever you could.

You groaned, “Alastor, I just need to get out of here, please don’t bug me right now.” He was quick to block your path, placing a hand on his chest as if he were wounded.

“How cruel of you, I simply want to chat! I’m just wondering how you’re doing, dear.” His voice was sweet, but it still put you on edge. You waved him off and kept walking.

“Don’t give me that shit, I know you don't really care.” You rolled your eyes as he continued to walk with you, occasionally brushing his side against yours with his strides. Alastor was becoming close to you over these past few months, even getting a little touchy at times. You definitely didn't mind it. You considered making some kind of move, but the idea of that failing made you cringe.

“Goodness, how rude you are today! Aren’t you excited to see your old employer? Or.. are you nervous?” He knew what he was doing. You did your best to hide your anxious reaction, but he saw right through it.

“M-Maybe a little nervous. There, are you happy now? I don’t want to see him, I’m not ready - “ You muffled a frustrated groan into your hands, stopping in place

“Not a problem, my dear! Why don’t you stick with me today? I would hate to see you in such a state of despair - ” Liar. “ - just think about it.” You nod your head, but you were pretty sure you wouldn't be leaving your room for the rest of the day.

“Good girl.” With a quick pat on your head and a flicker of the lights, Alastor disappeared from sight. Your whole body shivered as you stepped into your room. 

— 

You recognized his voice immediately, even from your room. it didn't help that he was practically shouting. You were sitting in your bed, your back against the headboard and your knees pulled tightly to your chest. You would grab a book, or maybe the phone you finally managed to buy, but you didn't. You sat with tears flowing down your cheeks. You weren’t sad, exactly, but your body had no idea how to process your emotions right now.

Luckily, a loud crash snapped you out of your frozen state, forcing you to carefully leave your room. You couldn't hear his voice anymore, just a loud ruckus, people screaming and gunshots. You assumed someone had broken down the wall, again, probably looking for another fight. That probably means he left, right? Taking your time, you carefully peek your head around the stairwell, letting out a shaky sigh of relief.

No sign of Lucifer. Starting to descend the stairs, a giant portal opens mere feet away from you. Charlie and Lucifer return, his gigantic wings fluttering close as they embrace. You only realized the severity of the situation after appreciating his wings that you’ve never really seen this close before. They were beautiful - Focus.

As they discussed finally setting up Charlie’s meeting, she finally caught a glance of you just beginning to climb the stairs.

“Oh, Dad! I almost forgot! There was so much going on, I didn't get to show you our other guest!” She speedily approached you as she spoke, grabbing your hand and pulling you back down the stairs.

“She said she used to work at home! Isn't that cool?” Placing both her hands on your shoulders, you were essentially held captive.

“Oh! OH! Ahh.. hm! That is - That is definitely.. Interesting! Fun little fact there, isn't it?” His laughter became increasingly nervous and his cheeks became redder, as he tugged at the collar of his shirt to let the cool air of the room hit his suddenly heated skin.

“B-Been awhile, huh?? Long time no see! What are you up to? Today? These.. days..?” Charlie’s excitement only grew, shaking you a bit by your shoulders.

“You remember each other? That’s awesome! Maybe you two can catch up sometime! Were you close? She talks about how much she loved working there all the time!” Charlie’s words did little to fill the gaps. He had no idea why you were here, what you had told her - his eyes met yours finally, begging for the answer. What did you tell her?

Charlie’s one-sided conversation became a ringing in your ears, as she finally released you. You were only brought back by a hand placed delicately on the small of your back. In the back of your mind, you hoped it was Lucifer’s. That made you wince. Finally looking at its source you met Alastor’s eyes. He did say he would keep you company if you decided to come to the lobby. A sudden question popped into your head. Did Lucifer ever apologize? With Alastor's support, a surge of confidence gave you the strength to respond.

“We weren't that close, Charlie. I mean, we could catch up. If he wants to that is.” You leaned into Alastor's touch as you spoke, another decision you'll question later. In that moment, you wanted to treat him like shit. You wanted him to feel the way you did when you were sent away without a fight.

He seemed to shrink in place, his eye twitching when he let his gaze roam from your body up to Alastor’s, which was connected so sweetly by a gentle hold.

“Yeeaah! MAybe - “ His voice cracked, “ Welp! If you’re here - I know where to find you, I’ll uh.. Keep in touch..?” He did his best to send charlie a nervous smile, who was giving an enthusiastic thumbs up to him from behind you.

“Weren't you just leaving, Your Highness?” Alastor’s voice went crackly as he spoke, his hand snaking completely around your waist. He gave a nervous goodbye, before vanishing in a red smoke. Something strange happened just then. Before he left - he looked scared. But you still felt good doing what you did.

You blinked your eyes as if you had just been broken out of a trance. Looking around the silent room, you met Alastor’s eyes again, before quickly pulling yourself away from his grasp.

“I-I guess you did what you promised.. so.. Thank you?” letting out an awkward chuckle, you made your way back up the stairs. What came over you? Did you really want him to suffer? You had a chance to try and repair things, to ask why he did what he did. There's no way he'd try to reach out now. Right?

—

Hope y'all are liking the direction this is going, i know its getting a lil intense

I'm getting your requests btw! I'm loving the prompts I'm seeing, so I'll work on them as soon as I can! :)

!Taglist (A lot of you asked to be in the tag list, so if I missed you, please let me know!)

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#hazbin hotel #hazbin #lucifer hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fandom #lucifer hazbin #lucifer morningstar #lucifer magne #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel au #lucifer x you smut #lucifer x reader #lucifer x reader smut #lucifer x you

[celiastjamesoscar]

Wish I Knew You

Pairings: Sam Carpenter x fem!reader, established relationship

Summary: Unofficial meant many things to people, but to college students it meant one thing: party. But unofficial takes a turn when you get into a fight, and Sam has to walk you home.

Warnings: swearing, destruction of property, breaking and entering, light mention of drugs, drinking

AN: based off of an idea I ‘stole’ from @p0rkbun, I love ya!

My Masterlist

Word Count: 3.5K

“I know it’s unofficial, but please, you guys, be safe. Okay?” Sam pleaded as she looked at the group of kids before her. Technically, they weren’t kids, but in her eyes, most of them would still be those kids she used to babysit. Well, all of them but you.

You met Sam through Anika after she moved to New York, and you were instantly in love even though she wouldn’t even spare you a glance most of the time. Those big, brown eyes that held years of pain and agony brought you so much comfort whenever she would look at you. Her lips never smiled, so you made it your life mission to make her smile, even if it was just for a mere moment. And when you did make her smile after you went on a drunken tangent about how Isaac Newton deserved to die a virgin and how Dr. Pepper is the best soda, she knew that she was in too deep.

Dammit to hell with getting accepted into the best universities the country had to offer and all those scholarships you had received that paid for your schooling at Blackmore University. None of those things compared to the feeling you got in your chest when you saw that beautiful smile for the first time. It seemed like your entire world had stopped rotating and began to revolve around the single smile that didn’t last for more than three seconds, but it meant more to you than anything else.

After the night, the two of you grew closer, and after enough dinners together, you two started dating. It took you forever to break down all of Sam’s walls, but when you did, it was the most rewarding thing you had ever done. On late nights after she had worked a double, the only thing Sam wanted to do was come home and sleep. But when she pushed open her apartment door and saw you standing awkwardly in the hallway with a goofy grin on your lips and a bottle of wine, all the stress seemed to leave her body, being replaced with the need to be hold you.

You found it impossible to believe that people hated Sam: she was perfect in your eyes. Her soft, caring nature, whenever it was just the two of you, was something you couldn’t find anywhere else. Yes, Sam can be a bitch sometimes, but behind closed doors, she is putty in your hands. How she would sit next to you on the couch, softly tracing patterns on your thigh with her fingers, would make your chest flutter. When you two were in a group, she would always sit next to you- much to Tara’s disapproval, who is someone who doesn’t like sharing her sister- while placing a protective hand on your thigh.

The thoughts that ran around Sam’s mind were that she wished she knew you when she was young; maybe her life would be completely different. Perhaps she wouldn’t have started using drugs or ran away from home, but that’s all it was: what-ifs that might or might not have changed her life. Even though she wished for things to have been different, that she wished she would have met you at a different time, she was still glad that she had you in her life, and she refused to let you go any time soon.

So now, as you sit next to her sister getting ready to get plastered at frat parties for Halloween, Sam couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of anxiety crawling through her body.

“Yes, Sam, we promise to be safe. We will call you if you need anything,” Tara stated as she stood up from the couch, “Can we go now?”

With a small sigh, Sam closed her eyes and nodded her head. She just knew that allowing you guys to go out tonight would come back to bite her in the ass. “Please don’t drink too much,” Sam pleaded as she followed the group to the door, looking directly at you while she spoke, “I’m talking to you.”

You scoffed at your girlfriend’s accusation, “How dare you insinuate that I, of all people, would drink the most!”

“Because you will,” Mindy mumbled as she looked between you and Sam, unamused, “You always get out of hand when you drink.”

“No, I do not!” You shot back, but you knew arguing would get you nowhere.

Speaking up for the first time, Chad said, “Don’t worry, Sam. I will make sure that Y/N and Tara don’t drink too much; you have my word,” as he wrapped a loving arm around your shoulder.

With a small sigh, Sam nodded in defeat, “Alright, just be safe tonight, okay? No splitting up.” Before Sam could finish her sentence, Tara had shot up from the couch and left for the door. “Come on, you old people, the party’s not going to wait for us,” she exclaimed while opening the door and leaning against the door frame, tapping her foot with urgency.

The twins were quickly behind Tara, and when you went to follow, Sam grabbed your hand, “Hey, wait a minute.” When Sam spoke, the three noticed the way Sam’s dark eyes were pleading with you, so they decided to step out into the hallway to give the two of you some privacy.

“What’s up?” You asked with the softest smile that always made Sam’s knees weak. “Please, Y/N, be safe tonight. If you need anything, call me, okay?” The Latina asked as she gently placed her hands on your triceps, lovingly running her hands up and down.

“You know I will be, and I promise to call you if anything happens,” you replied while leaning forward, placing a soft kiss on top of Sam’s head, “Just think, this is a night to yourself. When was the last time you had that?”

Sam mumbled something underneath a breath that you missed. “I’m sorry, what was that?” You teased with a smile, watching as Sam rolled her eyes. “I said that I only enjoy my nights to myself when you are around,” the older girl admitted through clenched teeth.

“Damn, Sam. You can at least pretend to like me,” you joked with a small laugh.

“You know that I hate to admit these things, but you still make me do it.”

“You’re right! I love hearing my girlfriend give me constant affirmations about how much she loves me; it's the best!” You happily stated with a smile, and Sam laughed at your response.

“Whatever, just be safe tonight,” she said as her eyes looked you up and down, clearing having a distaste for your costume, “whatever the fuck you are.”

Naturally, you scoffed at her words, “I will have you know that I am one of the best historians out there.”

“Yeah, I doubt that,” Sam replied with a smile. It might not seem like much, but these small banters between the two of you were what she loved the most. She could be herself around you, and you would never judge her for it.

In the mood to be a smartass, you straightened your posture and pulled on your coat. You cleared your throat and began doing an impression of a Bolton accent, “It’s hard to believe I’m walking through the ruins of the first-ever city, because I’m not. That’s in Iraq, which is miles away, and fucking dangerous.”

Sam stared at you blankly for several seconds before she shook her head, “You’re a fucking idiot, and I cannot believe you are going as that lady.”

“Excuse me, ‘that lady’ is Philomena Cunk, who is the best damn historian on this planet,” you defended while making your way to the front door, Sam following behind you, “And my costume is certainly the best.”

Sam hummed as she opened the front door, “Yeah because it's so hard to beat,” she quickly looked at the three standing out in the hallway, “a half-assed pirate, a scarecrow, and Jack Skellington.”

“Hey now, I’m a cowboy, not a scarecrow,” Chad replied with a bit of hurt. “She doesn’t care what you are. Now come on, we have a party to go to,” Mindy sat as she threw an arm around Tara the pirate and started walking down the hallway with Chad several paces behind them.

Before you followed them, you quickly kissed Sam’s lips. “I love you,” you mumbled against them, and Sam kissed your words.

“I love you too,” she replied while pulling away. You blew her kiss as you started to catch up with the group, and Sam felt her heart flutter at the small gesture. Words could not even begin to express the love she had in her heart for you, but she hoped that one day she might be able to tell you. She wanted to tell you how her entire being ached for your touch whenever you were away, and she hated watching you leave. But she simply settled for watching you leave with her younger sister, off to have the fun that was promised when you start college.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whenever someone tells you that college is supposed to be the time of your life, they are fucking wrong. Hours and hours of studying material that you must teach yourself because your professors are too incompetent to teach it while you still pay them thousands of dollars is not fun. There is nothing ideal about college, and you hated every single second of it, but the part you loved the most was your friends.

Of course, you had friends in high school, but none meant this much to you. You would readily lay down your life for Tara, just as you would the twins. So, that’s why for the first time since the semester started, you finally felt your shoulders loosen and stress leave your body, just for some dipshit in a mask to ruin it.

It all happened quickly, according to Chad. One minute, you were taking shots with Tara, then the next, you were on top of a random guy, beating him to a pulp. It took Chad and Mindy to pry you off the guy, yet you still fought against them, trying your hardest to get your hands on that fucker.

“I’m good, I’m good,” you slurred after Chad carried you out of the frat house, but as soon as he placed you on the floor, you tried to run back into the house. “Hey! Stop it!” He shouted, quickly grabbing you before you could make it up the front porch steps, “Sit down and breathe.” Your head was spinning, and you could barely stand, but you had to get your hands on that fucker.

Grumbling under your breath, you listened to the man and sat down on the grass as Tara came to sit by you. “What happened?” She asked while picking up your dominant hand, lightly tracing her fingers over your bloodied knuckles.

You didn’t want to worry Tara that the piece of shit man was saying false accusations about Sam; you knew it would ruin her night. So, you decided to lie. “He said that the only correct way to eat cereal is to pour the milk first, then the cereal.”

A small laugh came from Tara’s lips as she let go of your hand and pulled out her phone. “You know, I don’t know what’s worse: how crazy you defend cereal or that you nearly killed a man dressed up as Philomena Cunk.”

You chuckled beside her and sat in silence as you watched her call her sister, asking the older Carpenter to come pick you up. You felt bad for not being the one to call Sam, but you knew that if you called her, she would ask what happened, and you couldn’t lie to that sweet and kind woman. Those soft, dark eyes that smiled for her would break if you ever were to lie to her, and you couldn’t put her through that.

So, you sat in silence with the younger Carpenter as Chad and Mindy went back inside the frat house. Once they were out of earshot, Tara spoke up. “I know you lied to me.”

“About what?” You questioned, but you knew what she was talking about. “Tell me why you beat the shit out of that guy,” Tara pressed.

You shook your head and sucked in a deep breath, debating on if you should tell her or not. With a sigh, you down while speaking, “He was saying some shit about Sam, and I lost my cool. I’m sorry that I ruined your night.”

Several beats of silence passed before Tara grabbed your hand and interlaced her fingers with yours. “You know, When you and Sam first started dating, I was skeptical. You’re one of my closest friends, and Sam is my sister. But oh my god, after seeing how she looks at you, I knew that the two of you were meant to be. I’ve never seen Sam look at anyone the way she does with you and the way she smiles around you, Y/N. It's unbelievable; I’ve never seen her smile that much. What I mean to say is that Sam has a hard time with words, but that woman loves you so much. So thank you for defending her name because I know she would do the same thing for you,” Tara admitted with a soft smile, and before you could respond, the both of you saw a tall figure approaching you.

“What the hell happened?” Sam asked with worry laced in her voice as soon as she got close enough to see your hand. She crouched beside you and took your hand out of Tara’s as she lightly traced her fingers over your knuckles, more worried about you than whoever you beat the shit out of.

“Your sweet, little Y/N who would never do any harm went apeshit on someone. It took both twins to pull her off of the poor guy,” Tara said as she stood from the ground and began walking into the house.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” Sam questioned while eyeing her sister, who didn’t even look behind her as she shouted, “Back to the party!”

You laughed as you watched the younger Carpenter disappear into the house, “she’s a little shit, isn’t she?” You joked as you looked back at Sam, who glared at you, “What?”

You knew it was terrible, but you couldn’t help but find Sam extremely attractive whenever she was angry; it was probably why you liked to piss her off so much.

The older girl huffed as she stood up, pulling you up with her as well. “Don’t ‘what’ me; you know exactly what I’m mad about,” she said as she grabbed one of your arms and threw it over your shoulder. You just shrugged, not wanting to argue with Sam over the reason for your fight.

“I’m not that drunk, Sam. I can walk by myself,” you declared, but once Sam let go of your arm so you could prove your point, gravity seemed to have a vendetta against you, causing you to begin swaying from side to side.

“Mhm, yeah. Come on,” Sam sighed as she grabbed your arm and threw it over her shoulder again.

Naturally, the entire walk back to the apartment, you complained about Sam not needing to carry you, but you would never admit that you enjoyed seeing this softer side of her.

“So,” Sam asked when you two got away from the frat house, “What happened?”

You shrugged as you continued walking, “The guy was saying false information about how to eat cereal properly. That’s all.”

Now, Sam wasn’t an idiot, and she wasn’t born yesterday. She knew when you were lying, and she knew that you were. In your relationship, Sam always knew that you would be truthful, and her heart began to break at the thought of things changing between the two of you. She knew it was stupid, but she couldn’t help the anxiety at the idea of you no longer being honest with her.

As if you could sense her doubt, you spoke, “Sam, you know that I love you, right?” The Carpenter nodded her head, silently ushering you to continue. “Well, then you know that I would do anything to protect you, anything at all,” you proclaimed as you leaned over and placed a loving kiss on her forehead.

Several beats of silence passed as Sam was thinking about what you said. She knew that whatever happened between you and the dickhead was about the online controversies surrounding her, even though you didn’t say anything about it; she just knew.

A part of Sam felt guilty that you had the feeling of constantly needing to defend her name, which got you in a lot of trouble. But she also loved the idea of having someone who loved and cared for her enough to start fights over her, no matter how petty they were.

So, instead of asking you any more questions, Sam simply said, “I love you too,” and pulled you closer to her.

Falling into a comfortable silence, you walked for several minutes before you stopped dead in your tracks. “What the actual fuck is that?” You asked with a slight hint of venom in your voice.

You had stopped just outside a Barnes & Noble, glaring into the store’s display case. In that case, there was a small cardboard cutout of Gale Weathers, and behind her were copies of her notorious book that worsened Sam’s public image.

“You fucking bitch,” you hissed as you unwrapped Sam’s arm from you and walked up the glass window, pushing on it but getting nowhere. “Y/N, come on. It’s closed, and you’re drunk,” Sam said as she gently grabbed your hand, but you shook it off.

Without saying a word, you walked to the side of the store to pick up a brick. Before Sam could stop you, you threw the brick through the window, causing it to shatter into tiny pieces.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Sam whisper-shouted as she tried to stop you from climbing into the store, but you were surprisingly strong in your intoxicated state. Once you entered the display area, you grabbed a signed copy of Gale’s book and ripped out several of the pages. You then began doing that to the rest of the books you could see, and once you were done, you moved to the cutout.

“You fucking bitch,” you hissed as you pushed the cutout, causing it to fall, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Fucking fuckass loser.”

Now, she knew it was terrible to be imagining this, but Sam couldn’t find it within herself to stop you from destroying Gale’s books. Truth be told, she wanted to join you, but she felt like you deserved to have this moment to yourself.

“I’ll fuck you up, little bitch,” you stated as you picked up the cutout and put it underneath your arm. “What are you doing?” Sam asked with a small laugh as she watched you carry the cardboard Gale Weathers from the store.

“Taking her home,” you slurred once you stepped onto the street, then you began walking toward Sam’s apartment. “Wrong way, dumbass,” Sam stated once you got halfway down the sidewalk.

Without saying a word, you turned on your heels and walked back to Sam. “Thank you,” you replied while the two of you began walking back in the correct direction, still holding Gale.

“Are you taking her home to kill her?” The Latina asked while looking down at the cutout, struggling to keep a straight face with this unusual situation.

“What kind of fucking animal do you take me for? No, I'm not going to kill her!” You exclaimed, “But I am kidding her.”

The sound of Sam’s laughter caused an eruption of butterflies to flutter throughout your chest. Even though you were drunk and probably wouldn’t remember most of this night, hell, there was a good chance you wouldn’t even remember ‘kidnapping’ Gale Weathers, but you knew you would never forget the sound of your woman’s laughter.

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you home so you can torture Gale,” Sam joked as she wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into her side.

She didn’t care that you would be on the news tomorrow morning for the destruction of property; she was just glad you were happy while doing it. It wasn’t every day that Sam got to witness you lose your shit, especially on an inanimate object, but she loved seeing this side of you. She wouldn’t change your relationship for anything, no matter what it was. Sam loved you with her body and soul, and she would never give that up.

The only thing she wished was different was that she knew you when she was young. She would stay up most nights wondering how different her life would have been if she had met you when she was 18, a fresh runaway from home. Before she got into all the hard drugs, she still struggled despite being three years sober. But as she listened to you threaten fake Gale while stating how much you loved the woman you were dating, Sam couldn’t be happier with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @elduster @silentwolfsstuff @maskthedwarf @canvascoloredin

#sam carpenter #scream #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x y/n #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter x fem reader #sam carpenter x female reader #Tara carpenter #melissa barrera #Spotify

[greyskyflowers]

Soft Zoro brought to you today by greyskyflowers

Yes, hello. I have decided that I will not rest until the world has more soft Zoro.

I'll start with this.

Zoro is not soft.

For the sake of this I'm going to run with the whole tiger vibes Zoro thing.

Tigers are friend shaped. They have the cutest little ears and they're so pretty that I just want to squish their little faces up and call them baby. It's a tragedy that I will not be able to do this. It's also a tragedy that if I ever get a chance to squish a tiger's little face up and call it baby that I will die happy as soon as I try to do so.

I love when I see videos of caretakers for wildlife being reunited with the animals they once helped take care of. Not zoos, the perserves and sanctuaries and stuff like that.

I love it.

But...

Tigers are wild animals. I would not encourage anyone to go up to a tiger, squish it's little face and call it baby. Even those people who have the great relationship with them are alway a misstep away from being a chew toy.

To me, this is Zoro. This is what I want people to get from my stuff about soft Zoro or submissive Zoro or whatever else I spit out on here.

Soft is not weak. Submissive is not weak. Allowing yourself to be weak, is not a weakness.

A tiger is not any less of a tiger because it allows someone it knows and loves to pet it. It will take your fucking arm off if it wants to. It will kill you and then go take a nap.

Zoro is terrifying. He's strong and incredibly talented and he adapts to his environment very quickly. Him and Luffy should honestly scare the absolute shit out of people.

Plus he was a bounty hunter, and the demon stuff or whatever that is, I bet Zoro can be uncomfortable to be around. He probably has that predator vibe to him, gives you the feeling that something big and scary is watching you. Peacefully, for now, but that can very easily change.

I love the idea that Zoro is brutal and bloodthirsty and unhinged during fights.

I love the idea that he's intimidating and unnerving if you don't know him very well.

I love the idea that Zoro is none of those things with the crew.

I like him having a place where he was be relaxed, soft, open, and 100% accepted as he is.

So yeah, I want to see him napping in little puppy piles with the crew. I want to see him letting himself relax around them. I want him to let himself experience the beauty of loving someone enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable around them. I want him baring his throat and back and belly to them, comparable to a animal rolling over to show trust. A tiger showing it's belly for it's favorite humans.

Does that make him any less terrifying? Fuck no.

It should actually make him more terrifying. He is not a mindless violent entity, he is fully aware of everything and chooses to absolutely fuck people up.

There's always an awareness that he's letting them see him when he's soft. He is not the one powerless in a situation like that. At any moment he could snap at all of them and he probably has. I can very easily see him building up those walls again when someone does something stupid. Leaving the crew, fighting Luffy, or just being a dumbass.

He goes back to defensive, unsettling, distant. And that might be worse than Luffy's anger or disappointment, dealing with Zoro's distance. Especially after having it. No more naps with a always warm swordsman. No more easy affection or privilege of being one of the people to see a fully relaxed and soft Zoro. No more touches to surprisingly soft skin, and no more easily given vulnerable spots.

I said at one point that Zoro gave me tiger on a gold leash vibes and here it is.

He may call Luffy captain and follow him willingly but tame is not a word that should be used to describe Zoro.

Let him be soft and terrifying.

Let him rip apart a battle field and drop bodies like gifts at his crews feet. Let him go back home bloody and feral, and angrily headbutt them like a cat when they refuse to touch him until he's cleaned up.

Let him come back clean, blood and wildness washed off and wisked away down the drain. Let him lay over their laps, cuddle up, or anything else like that.

And someone write me a submissive Zoro fic, god damn, I'm dying over here.

#one piece #zoro #zosan #zolu #opla #straw hat pirates #mugiwara crew #here we go #poly and/or qp strawhats #i will drag all of you into poly and/qp strawhats eventually #tagging opla because live action zoro has ruined my life #let zoro be soft you cowards #let zoro bottom you cowards #setting sail with greyskyflowers

[chvoswxtch]

I think of the quote “tell me every terrible thing you ever did and let me love you anyway” with frank castle at least twice a day😕 can you maybe write anything like that when youre free bc i love your writings so so much you amaze me every time

I wasn't planning on posting this today but it kinda just poured out of me (i'm v deep in my frankie feelings today) so...surprise?

thank you so much nonnie for breaking my heart requesting this. you're amazing & I love you.

angsty/emo blurb below the cut.

let me love you anyway.

Frank had never wanted someone to understand him so badly as he wanted you to. And for the most part, you did. But there was so much that he kept locked away. 

There weren’t just skeletons in his closet. There was enough bloodshed to turn oceans red. There were sins he’d committed that would make the Devil look like an angel. There were sides to him even he was too scared to face in the mirror.

Frank granted you peeks behind the curtain every once in a while, but he never let you see him fully. He knew that you were aware of his past, and his crimes, but anything you read in black and white paled in comparison to what was painted in red. Those letters didn’t hold the weight of the bodies he’d dropped. The summaries reported in the news were a fairytale compared to the nightmare of the details. 

He wanted to let you in. He wanted you to know him, really know him, more than he ever wanted anything. He didn’t want to hide from you. He didn’t want to have to be someone else. He wanted you to love him, the real him.

But could you?

Could you love a man like him? 

Could you make sense of all his broken pieces? Could you forgive sins that even’t God couldn’t? Could you look at him and just see him?

Could you call him by his real name, not the one he was branded? Could you hold his hand without thinking about how many lives he had taken with it? Could you accept the evidence on his body of what he really was?

Could you still think he was your hero if he proved that he was a monster? Could you still look at him if it was all true? Could you stay knowing it was?

“Frank?”

He couldn’t look at you. He couldn’t see the disappointment and disgust in your eyes when he took off his mask. Maybe he shouldn’t tell you. Maybe he should just let you go, with an idea of him rather than the truth.

“Frank.”

You didn’t give him the choice to avoid your gaze this time. Frank stared down at you solemnly as you kneeled in front of him like he was an altar, taking his face into your soft hands that had never been stained with blood, staring up at him as if he was an answered prayer instead of hellsent. 

“You’re not going to scare me away.”

Frank���s eyes became glossed over with tears at the conviction in your voice. He knew you wanted to mean that as badly as he wanted to believe it. 

“You don’t…you don’t know that. You don’t know…what I’ve done…”

His voice trembled as much as his hands did. It felt like the room was closing in on him, and the only thing keeping him from collapsing was you. 

“Then tell me.”

Frank squeezed his eyes shut, nearly sobbing at the gentle touch of your fingers wiping the tears from his cheeks before they could stain. Sometimes you touched him like he was made of glass, and right now he felt like he was seconds away from shattering. No one had ever treated him as delicately as you had, and it was hard not to crumble under the weight of your kindness.

“Frank, look at me.”

Frank did as you asked, he always did, and he didn’t hesitate to lean into your embrace when you carefully rubbed your thumb across his cheekbone in a soothing manner. There was a tender smile on your lips and a mixture of sympathy and devotion pooling in your eyes.

“Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.”

tags: @day-dreaming-goddess  @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042

#frank castle #frank castle request #frank castle blurb #frank castle x you #frank castle x y/n #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher blurb #the punisher request

[shyvioletcat]

ROWAELIN MONTH: DAY 11

~ Getting arrested / trip tot he police station ~

Okay, well... hmm. I'm just gonna say that this had Downton Abbey vibes, time period around 1920/30s. And maybe there might be some emotional whiplash compared to what we've had the other days. Anyway, here we go. @rowaelinscourt

CW: Some non-explicit spiciness right at the start

~~~~~

Warm light illuminated the room, subtle and dim due to a single gas lamp that sat on the nightstand beside the bed. The boss upstairs hadn’t seen the point in installing electricity in the old chauffeurs lodging above the garage. Rowan didn’t mind, not when it gave him a sight like this.

Aelin was above him, her golden hair loose and long, nearly draping down to her waist. The fashions from Varese were sneaking in and women were beginning to cut their hair. Not Aelin though, she loved it long, loved to wear it out wild and untamed. It wasn’t often that she had the chance to wear it out like this. With him though, she could be anything she wanted. Who she wanted, and Rowan would take everything she offered. The small firelight caught the gold in her hair and kissed over the curves of her body, each of which Rowan could see. 

She moved, and it was torture and bliss, it always was. These were stolen moments, fleeting and too short. They took what they could, not a second wasted between them. Aelin’s eyes were closed as she got lost in pleasure. That was unacceptable, Rowan wanted to look into those wondrous turquoise irises so she could see what she did to him. A hand swept up her body, that feeling making her smile. Rowan cupped her cheek, urging her to look down. She did, bright eyes finding his in the near dark. 

“Rowan,” she whispered. “Gods, Rowan.”

His name from her lips was a prayer, a plea for more. More time, more strength to hold onto what they had, more deference to accept they could not.

“Aelin, I love you.”

She laughed at those words, not to mock but in elation. A hard snap of his hips had her falling over him and her hair became a curtain around them. Aelin smiled before she kissed him, their world shifted and nothing else existed other than the synchronicity of their breathing and the touch of their skin. There was nothing else that they needed, only each other, forever and ever and ever…

Rowan knew he was dreaming, because this was not his life anymore.

Sharp clanging on the bars had him waking up. His heart leapt in his chest and his mind loathed the fact that he had been brought back to reality. The drink was wearing off and his injuries that he had sustained this evening were starting to smart. All in all, he was a miserable man in an even more miserable life. 

“You are free to go, Whitethorn,” the unknown officer said. “Bail is posted and someone is here to collect you.”

Rowan sat up, his head throbbing so much he had to close his eyes. He had no idea who might be waiting for him once he got out of his cell—he hadn’t even telephoned anyone. If someone had come to save him from his punishment it was not by his doing. 

“Who?” he asked, voice gruff. 

The officer shrugged his shoulders. “That’s none of my business. Hurry up now, it’s not polite to keep people waiting.”

The door to his cell was unlocked and opened, his freedom right there for the taking. Rowan had expected to sober up and wallow in his misery until morning. He’d made more than one stupid decision tonight, all of which had landed him in jail. Too much liquor and not enough control over his emotions had him brawling for money. He’d given up being a chauffeur, so he had to come by money in other ways. His size and technique had him winning, and then one bastard of a sore loser had the police busting them. Most people got away, running at the first sign of trouble. Rowan had not been so lucky. The man he had fairly beaten pointed him out and the alcohol in his system slowed Rowan down enough that he had been caught. The fact that he had ended up in a cell wasn’t even the worst of it, it was the fact all the winnings for the night had been lost. Cairn was a right bastard and for his sake Rowan hoped they didn’t cross paths any time soon. 

Groaning and cursing under his breath, Rowan stood, the painfully uncomfortable cot creaking as the shift of weight. The world tilted a little and he had to put a hand on the wall to keep from falling on his face or ass. With a deep inhale, he kept walking, hoping his embarrassment for the evening was over. He passed a few more cells, not bothering to note whether or not they were occupied. Another bar-filled door was unlocked and Rowan was truly free. He headed for the front doors when a voice stopped him.

“Hold up there, Whitethorn,” Gavriel said. “Your things.”

His jacket and a few other personal effects were on the high counter, neatly piled up. Gavriel’s tawny eyes were full of pity and understanding, and Rowan knew that this man had been the one to make the call to his unknown saviour. Easing his arms into the sleeves, Rowan still winced as he shrugged it onto his shoulders. 

Nothing would have prepared him for who waited for him in the foyer of the police station. It stopped Rowan in his tracks and had him wondering if he was still dreaming. Aelin stood there, wearing a coat, but he could still see that she was dressed in her finery. The skirts that hung past the hem of her dark coat were beaded and embroidered and he didn’t miss the jewel studded comb in her pinned up hair. She must have been at a dinner party, at her home or at her parents’, he didn’t know. That should not even be something he needs to contemplate. What she did nowadays was her own business, not his. 

Arms crossed over her chest, she turned to face him fully, reminding Rowan how unfairly beautiful she was. He never stood a godsdamned chance when it came to her. No one ever did. She was a victim of society, the confines she found herself crowded by would not exist if she were a man. It was a pity that the world worked against her in that way. But he knew her well enough to know that something had changed for her. Aelin Ashryver Galthynius used to be a force to be reckoned with, nothing and no one stood in her path for very long. And yet, now there was a part of her that had given up, there had been some deep resignation to her fate that had not been there before. Rowan knew he had a part in it. The physical pain in his chest as he looked at her now, standing proud and unbreakable, was enough of a reminder. Nothing would ever truly defeat her, she was just fighting a different fight now. 

Neither of them said a word, Aelin just picked up her ankle length skirt and headed for the door to the street. Rowan was moving instantly, he still did not manage to catch the door before it was swinging shut. She had the right idea, the fewer people that saw them together the less talk there would be. Gavriel had been foolish to call her, it put Aelin in a precarious position. She could have easily sent someone else, or not helped him at all. It filled Rowan with all kinds of false hope to see that she had been the one to help him. He reminded himself that pity was most likely the main motivation and the shame of that made things easier to bear.

By the time Rowan was stepping out onto the cold, dark street, Aelin was throwing her coat into the backseat so that she could drive better—like he’d taught her to do. Unless the clothes were specially made like his chauffeur livery had been, often a coat would prove a dangerous hindrance. When Aelin had insisted he teach her to drive Rowan had been powerless to deny her. Yes, even though she was not the one who had paid his wage he technically worked for her as well, it was also more than that. She wanted to learn how to drive for a streak of independence and to break up the monotony of her life. It had been the start of them, the secret meetings and lessons that had led to more. Rowan had realised she was more than just the haughty daughter of a lord and it had taken mere months for him to fall irrevocably in love with her. 

Seconds later she had disappeared inside the dark car, and Rowan reached the passenger door just as the engine started. He’d barely closed the door when Aelin was pulling out onto the road. The silence was long and heavy, minutes passed before Rowan built up the courage to say anything. 

“Thank you,” he murmured, watching as Aelin nodded in response and never taking her eyes off the road.

After that the only sound was the hum of the engine, rolling of the tyres over gravel and the rattling of the flimsy glass in the wind. Rowan looked out in the window, the dark just as oppressive as the silence.

“Where am I going?” Aelin asked. 

“I have a room at The Oak boarding house out by the farms,” he said.

“I know it.”

One of the few street lights lit up the car and Rowan caught a glimpse of Aelin’s face. Her features were drawn, tight as her grip on the steering wheel. He just wanted her to look at him to just give him a moment of peace. To let him find a piece of the woman that he had lost. 

“Why are you doing this, Aelin?” He said at last, quickly blaming the alcohol on his loose tongue. 

Aelin sighed heavily. “You know why.”

“To hell with that,” Rowan blurted. “I know you love me.”

Her sharp intake of breath echoed in the car, but she never said a word. It drove him insane—this apathetic slighting. He wanted her to fight and not give up. Rowan was ready, her family and society be damned, he would take her to somewhere far enough away that they’d never heard of the lords and ladies of Erliea’s court. They could live simply without money. He would do anything for her just as long as they could be together. Happy. 

“We could run,” he begged. “Give me a week and I’ll come for you. I love you, Aelin. I love you and if you let me I can make a life for us.”

The car slowed and Aelin pulled up the break with a loud crank. The engine idled, but she didn’t turn it off. All the better for a quick getaway. 

“Aelin, look at me. Please,” Rowan said, denying the need to reach across the seat and touch her. Just to make sure she was more than the phantom she appeared to be. “Look at me.”

She did not. Instead she looked out the window. Aelin might be stubborn, but so was he. He wouldn’t leave this car until he had some kind of an answer. 

“Fireheart—’’ 

Finally her eyes flashed to him, just for a moment. “Don’t.” The word was a hiss, it told Rowan he had gone too far.

“Aelin.”

“Get out,” she said, her face determined as she looked out the windscreen. “I need to get back before he notices I’m gone.”

That was like a stake to Rowan’s chest and it was enough to extinguish his fight. It was clear Aelin had made up her mind, and no force would compel her otherwise. Rowan had his hand on the door handle, the cold metal biting into skin. His impending departure gave him the courage to acknowledge what he had willfully been trying to ignore. 

Rowan looked over, his eyes settling on the small bump on Aelin’s stomach. He swallowed once and then asked, “Is it mine?”

The way Aelin’s hands tightened on the steering wheel made her engagement ring and wedding band glimmer in the soft glow of the street light. “I guess we’ll never know.”

~~~~~

Aelin hadn’t bothered to go back to the party once she had returned from her little escapade. It had drained her entirely, she had nothing left to give and had no desire to play the part expected of her. Not after tonight. 

She had chosen to be a wallflower for the evening, tracing the intricate patterns of the carpet with her eyes when Lysandra had caught her attention from the drawing room doorway. Aelin’s husband was preoccupied, and no one else paid her any mind as she went over. The report was that Gavriel had called from the police station explaining that Rowan was incarcerated. Arrested for brawling, gambling and public intoxication. Without friends in the village, there wasn’t much that could be done for him. 

It was easy enough to slip out of the room, still unnoticed. Ever the loyal lady’s maid, Lysandra had fetched Aelin a coat and helped her sneak out to the garage for the motor. There was nothing between them now, but Aelin still cared for Rowan enough to save him from wallowing in a jail cell. She had used her personal account for the bail and had steeled herself for the drive to wherever he was staying. 

Aelin had been praying that Rowan would be too consumed by anger, choosing to just stay silent and begrudge any kindness that she had imposed on him. Instead he had been angry, and sad too. It had been tormenting to sit there in such an enclosed space without escape. Then he had gone and spoken to her and the stubborn bastard hadn’t given up. Aelin had done her best and rallied all the indifference she could, but the way he had begged and then slammed the door had not left her unaffected. 

Arriving home, Lysandra had been waiting and led Aelin through the servant’s staircases and hallways to her room. There she had undressed and let her maid brush out her hair. Any other night they would have chatted, teasing and laughing about the foolishness of the day. Tonight there was none of that, Aelin couldn’t bring herself to talk about what had happened, not yet. 

“There you are, milady,” Lysandra said, running her finger through Aelin’s hair one more time. “All done.”

Aelin met the other woman’s gaze in the mirror. “Thank you, for everything.”

Lysandra nodded. “Of course. Is there anything else you need?”

It was hard to find any words, so Aelin just shook her head. Lysandra left then, the only company in the room was the sound of the crackling fire. Aelin stood, walking over to the full length mirror and running her hands over her nightgown. She looked at the swell of her stomach at where her child was growing. It wasn’t a lie, she had no idea who the father of her child was. That was what happened when one took up an affair with the chauffeur.

The marriage had been what her parents had wanted. With the prince out of the question, the Westfalls had offered an appropriate alternative. Chaol was noble and kind, but he had never seen who Aelin truly was beneath the courtly veneer. The fire that she burned with was ignored, doused and quenched to a simmering ember. It wasn’t as though the marriage they shared hadn’t been unhappy, Aelin was content and Chaol seemed to love her. 

Then their chauffeur had retired, and Rowan had been the old man’s replacement. Rowan had ignited her again, and they had burned like a wildfire. Who knows how long they would have kept on like that until that fateful day her parents had paid her an unexpected visit while Chaol was away. The adulterous pair had been discovered in the library, Aelin’s favourite room of her home. By some divine luck, they had only been caught kissing. Regardless, the damage was done. 

Aelin had been given an ultimatum by her mother and father, to break off the affair or expect ruination. The money would be gone, she would be disgraced and Rowan’s livelihood would fall to nothing. If she stayed with Chaol everything would remain the same. They had left her to think on it and Aelin very well might have fought for it with tooth and nail, to stay with the man she truly loved. But then she had found out she was pregnant mere days later and it no longer became just about her. 

Chaol had been oblivious to the entire affair, never noticing anything was amiss. That being so, Aelin hadn’t forgone her marital duties lest that arouse suspicions. Her imagination had made the most of a bad situation and relations with Chaol had never been terrible to begin with. All in all it had landed her in a precarious position. The father of her child was in question and she wasn’t about to damn the innocent to a life of destitution because of her poor decisions. 

So Aelin had put herself aside and chosen to secure the prosperity of her child. Her happiness was secondary now. Aelin’s suffering would not be for nothing in the end and her husband would be none the wiser. He had his compliant life, and a baby on the way. Chaol was content and he had no reason to question anything. She had given her answer to her parents and it had been her father that arranged for Rowan’s relocation by whatever means. All that was left was for Aelin to give up on her dreams and accept her life for what it was. 

The sound of the door opening had Aelin’s hands falling away and bringing her thoughts back to the present. Chaol entered the room still dressed in his finery and gave her a warm smile. Aelin returned it with a more practised one, all the falsity in it going unnoticed. 

“Here you are, wife,” he said. “I’d wondered where you’d got too.”

“I was tired and you were still having fun,” Aelin told him. She couldn’t stand the endearment he used, it made her feel like she was a possession no matter how gentle or sweetly it was said.

“Still, I wish you had told me.” As Chaol walked past her to his dressing room he brushed a finger down her cheek. 

Now Aelin did feel legitimately tired and the bed before her was more than appealing. She pulled back the plush blanket and slipped beneath the sheets. By the time her husband returned she was feigning sleep, just to secure some further peace. He no doubt heard her heavy and even breathing and assumed she was asleep, turning the lights off before getting into bed. Aelin felt the mattress dip and the bed linens shift, then he was curling his body around her with a protective arm draping over her waist. Chaol’s affection was clear but it did nothing to soothe the tempest that was raging beneath Aelin’s skin.

Night was always the hardest, Aelin’s mind could never settle until complete exhaustion dragged her into unconsciousness. She was told again and again to rest for the child’s sake, but it was hard to surrender to sleep when her dream mocked her with broken promises and an unattainable reality. There were two men that loved her, brought to her in a life she did not choose for herself. Fate was a cruel mistress and the gods never did smile on her with affection. Aelin’s child was what kept her going, the reason why she left her bed day after day. But in the bleakness of the night it was hard to reconcile with the feelings that weighed on her chest. As sleep finally tugged at her, Aelin was not sure how good of a mother she would be when it was hard not to feel dead inside.  

~~~~~

ha...ha... who let the angst gremlin out of it's cage?

#tagging is still a mess #rowaelin month #rowaelin month 2023

[kesh8]

A labourer’s reward

‧₊˚- Synopsis – Pantalone has a new idea for your debt payment

‧₊˚- Word count – 1.5k

‧₊˚- Cw– Fem! reader, nsfw, cunnilingus, spanking, Pantalone is dominate, my first fic so ignore how bad it is

It isn’t often that someone as grand as Pantalone would even think to let a mere labourer work under him, yet here you were, standing in his lavishly decorated office.

Marble floors freshly polished, a fur rug from an animal most likely extinct, trinkets you don’t even want to know how much mora were wasted on. Everything in his office was perfectly organised, fitting for a man such as him.

You heard the door behind you click, with the lock snapping after it, telling you someone has entered.

The smell of a rich vanilla, jasmine, and another scent so extravagant it was unrecognisable to you had filled the room upon his arrival. His scent was always so intoxicating, you bet it came from one of the richest businesses in Liyue, custom made, just for him.

A light chuckle ruptured from his chest, snapping you out of your daydreams.

“M-my lord, I’ve finished the paperwork you’ve assigned me.” Right. That's why you were here. Only to drop off a simple envelope, filled with work you had already completed inside.

“I see your imagination must be working as hard as you?” Embarrassment took over you when he said that, your cheeks gaining a slight blush.

His boots click as he approaches you, the sound echoing loudly off the shined floors. His hand trails over your shoulder, sending chills through your body. He always made you nervous, but not in a way you deemed unwelcomed. He was such a charismatic man, it was only natural your feelings for him began the moment he accepted you, a peasant, to work under him to pay off debts. Yet all you were compared to him was a speck of dirt. You always viewed him as some kind of generous after the offer, despite being a harbinger, it appeared he showed at least some sympathy for you.

His grip became firmer on your shoulders for a moment, squeezing them before moving to face you. He took the papers from your hand, handling them with care as if they were a fragile Snezhnayan glass. One of the other things you valued about him, his tenderness. Even if it was just a facade, you didn’t care. You practically drooled over it every night.

“I appreciate your time going into the papers. Without fail you’ve managed to complete all tasks on time, no setbacks. Surely, your hiring hasn’t been a mistake.”

He swiftly made his way to his desk, taking a seat in his chair, crafted with only the most luxurious woods.

The praise, no matter what it was about, never failed to make you weak in the knees.

You gave a quick nod in return, not quite sure how to respond back. Before you could turn to open the door, he stopped you, telling you to come to him. That made your heart pound against your chest. You couldn’t tell at that moment what he wanted, and you weren’t sure what you wanted, either. You wanted to leave the room, growing more nervous every moment you spent alone with him, but you also wanted to stay. Stay with him, go closer, accept whatever is going to happen, at the expense of being able to stand in his presence even just a second longer.

Now standing alongside a chair that was facing his side of the desk, you remained silent, waiting for him to break the ice.

“Lately, I’ve had a more…. interesting form of paying back what you owe, if you’re up to it, that is.” You could hear his smirk laced through his words.

While your debts weren’t exactly measly, they weren’t large either. You grew curious at what other tasks you could possibly do. Other than skills you picked up being a labourer, you had nothing else to offer. Maybe the clothes off your back, but even then, he was kind enough to give you these when you took up this job.

Feeling as you owed it to him, you accepted the offer.

He rose to his feet, coming to stand right beside you in the middle of the desk, where 2 other chairs used to be prior to him pushing them out of the way.

You felt heat sneak up onto your cheeks, he was rather close to you, The heat radiating off his muscular body warmed you. His hand made its way to your face, caressing your cheek softly. All you could do is stare at him like a lost puppy, lost in the moment.

You took a moment to indulge in his looks, no denying he was good looking, after all. His pale skin complimented his smooth lips quite nicely. His features all went together pleasantly, like a perfectly fitting puzzle. The coat he draped over his shoulder left much to the imagination, leaving you undressing him with your eyes, a guilty pleasure of yours.

He found it amusing, watching you stare. He stifled a small laugh at the sight.

“If you wish, you may take a taste” He cooed in your ear.

You hadn’t realised he was watching you so intently, turns out your poker face isn’t as sheltering as you thought. You hesitated on the offer. Obviously, you wanted to kiss him, who wouldn’t? But you couldn’t shake the nervous effect he still had on you. Truth be told, you were desperate for him.

Reluctantly, you pressed your lips against his, and he was quick to take over. His lips were soft against yours, the kiss was sloppy, but it didn’t matter in the moment, your current priority was tasting more of him. He bit your bottom lip, You opened your mouth with a slight gasp of surprise. His tongue glided into your mouth, making you whimper almost inaudibly, though you heard him snicker at your reaction.

He pushed you back against the desk and pressed his knee in between your thighs, in an attempt to coax a reaction out of you. The whines that came from your lips were like music to his ears.

“Already moaning for me and I haven’t even properly touched you yet. Somebody's desperate.” He teased, dragging out his last words.

You were on cloud nine, your fantasies playing out right here, right now. As long as you got more, you couldn’t care less how desperate you seemed.

“Fuck.. more, sir” you panted in between eager kisses.

“My, look at you, acting like a slut, but who am I to not entertain?”

He hiked your loose-fit skirt up to your waist and ordered you to sit in his personalised chair. The embarrassingly large wet spot in your panties made itself more obvious as Pantalone spread your legs apart. His gloved fingers found their way to your clit, making you gasp for air at the unexpected contact.

The extra friction from your cloth underwear made it that much more intense. He ghosted his fingers over the glistening garment, making you bite back noises of pleasure.

Even in the midst of this, Pantalone seems untouchable. He still wears the same sly smirk as he did entering the room. He is fully in control of this situation, you and him both aware of the fact.

The Regrator found himself growing bored, taking it upon himself to advance. He slips your panties down to your ankles and you suddenly feel a shaky breath on your heat, your hole fluttering around nothing. He drags his tongue along your folds, just ghosting over the skin, looking up at you with that shit eating grin. But hell is it hot. You’re completely at his mercy. You squirm in the chair beneath you, trying to get some sort of relief.

A hand lands a harsh slap on your thigh, ripping a yelp from your throat.

“You’ll move only when I tell you to.” Harsh orders from the 9th Harbinger make you internally scream.

All you do is mumble a “Yes, sir” in response, not wanting to anger him further.

He wants things to start moving, seeing as he’s fast to getting back to what he was occupied with before being disturbed by a brat. His tongue finds your clit, and waves of arousal wash over you. He hollows out his cheeks, beginning to suck on your needy bud.

He mentally notes your vocal when pleasured, whimpers and moans falling out of your mouth at every moment he spends on you.

The oh so familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach starts to create itself, making you burn with anticipation.

“Pantalone I-I’m close” You tremble as you speak.

He suddenly inserts two of his long digits into you. Your back arches against the smooth chair, while your head falls back in ecstasy. His pace grows to a rapid speed, determined to help you reach your climax.

“Come for me, labourer.” As fast as the words leave his mouth, you release all over his face and fingers, voice growing hoarse as more moans come from your lips.

He stands in front of you, licking your juices off his fingers, savouring your sweet taste.

Your chest rises up and down as you struggle to catch your breath from one of your biggest dreams playing out right in front of your eyes.

“I conceive this as sufficient pay.”

#pantalone smut #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #genshin imagines #banker #smut #video games #fanfic #fantasy #genshin scenarios #pantalones #genshin x you #fem reader #request #anon ask #ask me things #send me asks #genshin x reader #pantalone x reader

[jakelandryshorts]

New Coach

Jackson stood awkwardly in the middle of the gym. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. It’d been nearly the entire semester and he still hadn’t had much of an idea what a real work out was. He’d usually spend his time on the treadmill or bike just looking at memes on his phone. Honestly, there was no way a nerdy guy like him would have even taken a gym class if the college he was going to didn’t force him to.

“Don’t waste your youth boy,” Coach Montgomery scolded. He didn’t seem to be that old, but somehow the way he spoke sounded like a grandpa. Even if Coach Montgomery looked to be in his late thirties or early forties, his vocabulary seemed to be that of someone in their eighties or nineties. Maybe it was just the authoritative, if not condescending, way he spoke to near everybody.

Jackson rolled his eyes. “This class is a waste of my youth,” the 19 year old scoffed. “I’d much rather be home doing literally anything other than this.”

“Oh?” Coach Montgomery raised an eyebrow. “Working out too good for ya?”

A snort of a laugh blew out of Jackson’s nose. “Do I look like a guy who works out?” He opened his arms to show off his thin physique. There was barely an ounce of muscle or fat on his body. When he bent over his spine would stick far out of his shirt, making him look more like a stegosaurus than a college kid. He adjusted his square rimmed glasses. “Let me answer that for you. ‘No. I don’t work out.’”

Now it was Coach Montgomery’s turn to laugh. “You think it’s all magic and fairy dust boy? You know this body was built on decades of hard work. I wouldn’t be this size if not for spending so much time in the gym.” He held up an arm for a flex showing off the powerful bicep that strained the polo he was wearing. Even for a coach, Coach Montgomery was a strong guy. Everyone on every single team knew not to mess with him. Most of them said it was testosterone or some kind of horse steroid because none of the drug tests would come back with anything. Coach would always laugh at them, bragging about how much time he’d spent in the gym to get that big. He’d act like it’d been centuries of working out, despite only being middle aged.

“Tch,” Jackson rolled his eyes again and tried to look off in any direction other than the coach. It was pissing him off just how big the guy was. Even though he was required to wear khaki pants, they still looked absolutely stuffed. Not to mention the bulge in between his legs as well. ‘Must be from the gym too,’ Jackson thought. Though, he’d never say something like that to the man.

When he turned back, Jackson nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw just how close the coach’s face was to his. “But what if it was?” the coach said.

“Huh?” Jackson’s heart rate was still returning to normal as he tried to figure out what the coach meant. “What?” he replied just as stupidly, now with both feet planted on the ground again.

“What if it was magic?” Coach Montgomery repeated. “What if I could magically make you as big as me?” He hefted up his chest and the button containing his chest looked like it was about to burst.

“What?” again, Jackson felt like he couldn’t quite keep up. Coach Montgomery could be seen as eccentric from time to time, but never totally crazy.

“What if you could be magically be as big and strong as me?” Coach repeated.

A broad smile filled Jackson’s face as he let out a confused laugh. “I’d take it? What kind of question is that. Look at me. I’m an absolute pussy compared to anyone else here. Of course I’d love to be like you.”

“So, you accept?” Coach Montgomery held out his hand. “I’ll make you big like me, and then I take a little something from you.”

Jackson eyed it suspiciously. He didn’t know what the coach was talking about. “Sure,” he shook his head but grabbed the big meaty mitt in front of him, shaking it once.

“Perfect,” Coach Montgomery said.

“Wh-what?!” Jackson tried to pull his hand away but couldn’t. He suddenly felt glued to the other man. He stared up at Coach, only seeing a malicious smile covering his face. “What’s going on? What are you doing to me?”

“Deal’s a deal boy,” Coach Montgomery said.

Jackson still didn’t understand what was going on. Suddenly his brain felt like it was starting to fog over. It was getting a bit harder to think. And even stranger were the way his muscles were feeling. There was an overwhelming tiredness to them. Like he’d just gone through an intense workout. But somehow it kept compounding. More and more, yet his body wouldn’t stop.

He reached for his face, accidently knocking his glasses off it. At the same time, not noticing what was happening to it. Every second another year seemed to pass by. His young youthful look started to mature as his jawline widened. Brown hair quickly started to cover his face making him look even more masculine.

His shirt started to strain against his body. Muscle built upon muscle making it feel far too tight on him. Two meaty pecs grew out in front of him. He heard a tear as his wide shoulders made it impossible for sleeves to cover them up. They were basically cannonballs sticking out on either side of him. But the rest of his arm was about the same. Huge biceps filled the front of his arms while horseshoe shaped triceps were on the back giving him indescribably well built arms.

It was the same with his legs. Luckily for Jackson his shorts were far more stretchy than his shirt as a firm ass pushed out behind him. Two massive globes of muscle strained the rear end of his shorts. His legs filled the empty space in his shorts making them near skin tight. Each of his quads bulged with power with veins running out of them, and his calved were diamond cut. However, he always wished he could get them to grow even larger.

The fog in Jackson’s mind slowly started to lift. Though not completely. He rubbed his head. Then noticed Montgomery in front of him. The big smile on his face meant something was up, but Jackson couldn’t quite figure it out. “What’s up Montgomery?” His deeper voice sounded far more commanding than it ever had before.

“Just making sure we’re still good for after practice,” Montgomery’s smile only widened. The strong 20 year old jock bounced happily in his body. It was a bit odd that he was wearing a polo and khakis to workout in, but with his skills Jackson wasn’t about to question the guy’s decisions.

“After practice?” Jackson questioned.

“Yeah,” Montgomery said. “You know. Our one on one sessions?”

Jackson felt a tingle in his asshole. It was followed quickly by his heart rate picking up and his cock hardening. “Yeah. Of course man. Wouldn’t miss it.”

“Great!” Montgomery smiled as he went off to finish his workout.

----------------

More stories over on my wordpress

[ganymedesclock]

what do you think about the white lady? got any cool headcanons about her? she's always come off to me as someone distant and uncaring, but not necessarily cruel

My silliest headcanon is I don't actually think White Lady has arms under the bindings.

The less silly headcanon is that I think the humanoid part of her is just her fruiting body / the part people imagine when they think of "what is a mushroom". This would explain why she basically practices birth control by swaddling 90% of it. It doesn't really slow her down, hence the comment that she's only restrained of her own volition, and I think if she wanted to be anywhere else she could just. submerge and then rupture out of the ground wherever she wanted. That's right. Most stationary seeming character in Hollow Knight has Flowey mobility.

To build from here to like... deeper stuff, my take on WL and her presence in the pantheon is the idea that WL is a sort of literalized "Columbia", or the role Amaterasu takes in the mythology of the founding of Japan. The idea of "The Land" or "The Kingdom" as a living mythic figure that a king is potentially wedded to.

WL seems overwhelmingly passive. She does not exhibit much concern about the kingdom or its downfall. If anything, she seems sort of perturbed or surprised that she misses PK as much as she did. Her response to an uncomfortable feeling is just sitting around and waiting for it to die. Even compared to her husband, she seems like a deeply ancient being. Which makes sense, because it's implicitly her roots that are sticking out at Kingdom's Edge, which would suggest we actually spend the entire game walking over her body. She is the soil of Hallownest. She defines its borders. There are few pockets older than her, mostly Unn, suggesting Greenpath may be- partially- a place that her roots don't reach.

WL basically does nothing with politics until it's mentioning the Grimmchild where she tells it outright to not get any ideas because the land would never accept it as a king, something that "someone who isn't a queen anymore" seemingly wouldn't have any say in. But I think WL sees herself as 'the land', even if she is more of an extremely expansive organism that lives within it and quite possibly maintains symbiosis with it. As far as we can tell, gods project their own sort of habitable spheres in an overwhelmingly barren world; WL may be the sort of underground sun warming the ground, plants growing from the 'exhale' of her root structure.

You're right that I don't think she's necessarily cruel, though she is absolutely callous in some ways. I think a lot of it comes down to her perspective. WL is kind of terminally big picture. Her response to Ghost- a long-lost child she did grieve to some extent- is to politely ask them if they wouldn't mind going to die in place of their sibling, on account of it'd be obviously not preferable if the apocalypse ensued. When Ghost in the 'true' endings (and similarly derived Godmaster endings) attains the void heart, WL equally neutrally accepts that she basically has no control over them anymore. The prospect that they could kill her probably dawns on her, but we know what she thinks about the Radiance. It's just not preferable really.

I feel like WL is significantly more "alien" or "eldritch" than PK. This doesn't necessarily make one of them better than the other, but a lot of PK's dilemmas are actually pretty relatable. The irony of him seeming like such an aloof mysterious god is that once we actually break past all his defenses, he is surprisingly ordinary. Yes, he was some kind of giant sandworm dragon. But his foibles and failings are unglamorous. We practically find him the way you find a failed survivor in a zombie apocalypse, a body huddled in a closet bunker where it held out and failed, still carrying the echo of trying to convince himself it was worth it.

WL's problems are less relatable in that sense. I think most of us don't have the ironclad certainty that unless something goes extremely wrong we'll outlive all of our problems, but that's just it. She's not going to fight her enemies or take a meaningful stance about anything. She can be almost darkly-comically negligent, such as asking "Ogrim" to go check on Dryya when she's able to track the progression of Hollow's infection through her roots from half the kingdom away, and it hasn't occurred to her that Dryya should be eating and sleeping and moving around more. Like a dotty old grandma who forgot to feed the parrot one too many times and wonders why the old thing doesn't sing for her anymore, only a bit more unsettling directly because while many of us might be upset at the fatal neglect of a parrot, many more are justifiably obstinate about the idea someone might see you as just a pet novelty, because your lifespan really isn't that long.

#Hollow Knight #White Lady #readmore

[a-court-of-valkyries]

Neris Week Day One: Angst/Forbidden Love

Every inch of Nesta was crippled with anxiety as she stood waiting in the middle of the Illyrian woods. Morrigan had winnowed her here hours earlier after the fight with Cassian on the Sidra. Instead of going straight to Emerie’s, as Morrigan believed, she found herself here, deep within these woods and waiting for a certain male to arrive.

Cassian had raged at her that night for refusing to speak on the mating bond between them, had refused to understand Nesta’s unease and discomfort with it. He raged and spit whatever words he could to cut Nesta deepest until she bled from it. 

“Well, I didn’t have a choice in being shackled to you, either.”

Shackled, because at the crux of it all, that was the only reason why Cassian had ever given Nesta any attention, why he had not cast her aside completely like the rest of the Inner Circle. He did not care for her. He did not want to be with her for who she was. He did not pick her. They were mates, a wicked bond cursed to them by the Cauldron. Whatever pull he felt towards Nesta did not come from his heart. He did not want to be with Nesta because he couldn’t imagine life without her. He wanted to be with her because he believed he was stuck with her and had no other choice in the matter. No one had ever chosen Nesta, and she was foolish to believe that he was the exception.

Cassian had always been possessive over her. Whenever given the chance,  he couldn’t help but cut in to Nesta’s life to send everyone near a clear message: Nesta was his. But the problem was that Cassian never went out of his way to make Nesta feel like he was hers as well. 

Well, that would no longer be an issue. Cassian would never again have to worry about being stuck with the wretched older sister that his family despised of so much. Not after tonight.

“You’re wasted at the Night Court.”

Nesta was prepared to accept Eris Vanserra’s proposal. She couldn’t deny that a part of her wanted to. She’d blamed it on the dancing and the music sweeping her up in the moment that night in the Court of Nightmares. Yet Nesta couldn’t help but wonder. The idea of wedding Eris brought a sense of ease to her in a way she couldn’t explain. When they danced, there had been a mutual understanding, an unspoken agreement, some sort of flame kindled between them. In some strange sort of way, Nesta had met an equal, someone who could understand her in ways no one else could and vice versa.

The snake and the witch. They’d make a perfect match.

“Absolutely wasted.”

Nesta glimpsed at her hand, thinking of a different male than the one she had been with tonight. She couldn’t help but think of how Eris held onto her when they danced. The memory of that night failed to leave her since; the feel of his hand pressed firmly on her back, the way his body pressed lightly against hers, how well and perfectly she fit in his arms as they danced, how Nesta’s heart sped at the feel of her hand in his. His touch sent shivers all throughout her body. It was a wholly different feeling compared to being in Cassian’s presence. 

“Don’t believe the lies they tell you about me.” 

Nesta didn’t fully trust Eris, but what if he was her only ticket out of the Night Court? Nesta could think of no other permanent solution to keep Cassian away unless she was wed to a possible future high lord. Besides, Nesta had always known she’d marry a prince. Her mother trained and molded her for such a feat. Nesta was merely gaining back a piece of her life that had been taken from her. This was one of the few choices she could call her own.

“I’d rather have her than that.”

Nesta heard Eris’s words even from where she danced on the dance floor as he rejected the blade she had Made. It sent her heart racing to hear those words. A male who barely knew her was choosing her when her own mate never could.

Eris had gifted her a pen and paper in secret that night after they danced. He had found her when she was alone. “If you choose accept my proposal, Nesta Archeron, write to me and I will come find you.” It had been small and easy enough to carry around at all times. Over the weeks, Nesta would fiddle the pen between her fingers as it lay in her pocket, her only outward sign of anxiousness as she thought over his proposal.  

​​“We’ll play later, Nesta Archeron.” 

As if summoned by his own words, the heir of the Autumn Court winnowed in front of Nesta in all his faerie elegance. Nesta’s heart raced at the sight of him and the wicked smirk adorned on his face, but she kept her face stoic as he surveyed her with eyes of feral delight. 

“Nesta Archeron, I certainly am glad to hear from you. Have you made your decision yet?”

“Yes, I have.” Nesta raised her chin and made herself keep her hands still at her side despite the nerves. “Eris Vanserra, I wish to accept your proposal.” Eris grinned wider, and went to take a step towards her when Nesta said, “But before I do, I wish to make a bargain with you.”

“Oh?” Eris contemplated her words before taking another graceful step towards her. “And what are your conditions, my lady?”

“First, I will only come to the Autumn Court as long as my two friends accompany me. They are to be protected and unharmed while they are there.”

Eris took another step from where he was five feet away from her. His eyes were lit with amusement. “Deal.”

“Second, I am to be your equal always. You are to be my husband and I your wife. I want us to be able to trust each other and work as a team. You can never betray me nor I you.”

Another step. He was mere inches away from her now. “Fair enough. And your last command?” he asked with a smirk.

When Nesta answered, her voice was as hard as ice. “You can never say you hate me. Or that you are shackled to me.”

Nesta almost missed it: the way Eris’s eyes hardened, how his jaw clenched, the anger reflected in his eyes. It was there and gone in a flash. He didn’t answer for a moment as he looked down at Nesta. The smirk was gone, his face serious now. His stare burned into her, and Nesta felt it everywhere. Her heart raced at his gaze, yet she refused to look away. 

“Never,” he answered, his voice genuine and firm. Nesta relaxed slightly at that, and in Eris’s eyes, she could see every promise he was ready to make for her. They would be equals, allies, husband and wife. A new bond was being forged, one of Nesta’s own choosing this time. The snake and the witch. The Lord and the Lady.

“What do you want in return?” Nesta asked, slightly breathless. 

“I already have what I want,” Eris answered simply. He bowed as he took her hand in his, kissing it gently. “My betrothed,” he whispered against her skin, his eyes never leaving hers.

@nerisweek

#nesta archeron #eris vanserra #neris #nesta x eris #neris week #neris appreciation week 2022

[marshmallowprotection]

Ray not wanting to see me in pain vs my autoimmune disease fusing my spine bones together, more like: unstoppable force vs immovable object

Real talk though he'd be devastated. Ray wants to protect you from all pain so badly, and then he learns your own body just... attacks itself like that would crush him. You make a joke about how much pain youre in only to see his face and go "NO WAIT ITS OKAY IM USED TO IT-"

For me, as someone who is disabled, there's comfort in knowing that Ray wants badly to make a better life for you in Magenta by working a lot and trying to improve your quality of life compared to what it was in the outside world. However, he wouldn't know the depth of what a chronic condition feels like until he sees you, your struggle, and how hard you have to adapt and fight just to exist in a world that doesn't stop to care about your needs.

The realization he has when he learns that fact brings me comfort.

Sometimes, we just want people to have that damned epiphany and realize that far too many of us have to crawl when others get to sprint and run ahead without trouble.

The validation from knowing that your loved one can look at you and say, "Please, don't say you're used to it. You shouldn't be used to it. It isn't fair that you have to work harder to do what someone else can... all while pretending you're not miserable and suffering. Please. Don't lie about your pain. I don't want you to be in pain but I don't want you to lie... I can't stand the idea that you may be hurting and I could do... something."

Sure, he might not be able to do something, but sometimes, it's the offer that means the world. Just, "Can I do anything? Anything? I can do whatever you want. I don't care how silly you think it is... I'll do that request in a heartbeat, prince/ss. If I can't say the pain away, I want to do what I can to ease your pain... if only a little... please...? I need to do something... something so you never have to fight so hard by your lonesome again... what can I do?"

Ray wants nothing for you but bliss and happiness. The fact that you're in pain and he can't take it away is the hardest realization he might ever have. He can't protect you from your body... that's the one thing that's out of anyone's control. He might break down, sob, and cry because why would someone as kind as you have to go through so much pain? It's not fair, he says. You know it's not fair, but these things happen and we can't control them.

It's not the end of the world to have a chronic illness. Some people might think it is, but it's not. Our lives matter just as much as anyone with an abled body, y'know? Ray would have to take some time to go through the motions and accept that he can't help you as much as he wants to... similar to the process of grief many go through if they had their condition appear later in life as opposed to the beginning.

Anon, I hope you know that Ray wants you to know you're worthwhile to him. He doesn't want you to suffer but if anything, he doesn't want you to be used to the pain. Don't laugh it off. If it hurts, it hurts. You're allowed to admit it hurts and you don't need to censor or suppress a single feeling for the sake of others. You might think telling him that it hurts would make it hard on him.

It doesn't.

Sure, he wants to wrap you in bubble wrap, but Ray is attentive and determined. Once he learns how to do something, he makes sure he is the best of the best. You'll always be taken care of when he's there for you.

#anon #ask #mod kait #mystic messenger #mm #mysme #mysticmessenger #ray choi #choi ray #ray mystic messenger #ray mm #ray mysme #mm ray #mystic messenger ray #mysme ray #character analysis

[kaedeakeshisworld]

Prologue

Duo: Sugar daddy Leonard Burns, Black fem y/n- so black features, setting is a modern au

Relationship status: Sugar daddy/sugar baby (does it evolve into something else, idk we finna see that) both are possessive towards each other

Content warning: A lil' sprinkle of plot, no joking from the beginning this is too smutty panty sniffing( for some reason he really nasty- kept it as a gift), daddy kink, age gap (y/n is in her mid -twenties and Leo is his early fifties), dry humping, cunnilingus, clitoris bumping nose of the person giving oral(f! receiving-idk what to call it really), fingering, squirting, licking arousal from fingers...

pet name use such as dove, honey, darling, my girl and cinnamon bun (I’m wheezing)

Aperçu: y/n is someone that had never given a second thought to the idea of dating. But now because she is in her mid twenties, she decides that it wouldn’t be that bad to give it a try. Thanks to her friends, she explores the world of dating through a different kind of lens that is none other than the sugar daddy bubble. Let’s see where this journey leads her to…

word count: 4 k sum

Well, you had what could represent a happy life. You had friends, a roof over your head and you were a self made person. Every single thing you had ever owned you had financed it, you did not like gifts, it felt really awkward and inappropriate to accept them just like that. Let’s say ma raised an independent woman, right?! Also something that made you quite unique compared to your friends is that you have never been interested in men!( This my specific case but the gag is I don’t really feel attraction towards anyone really) and sometimes you did wonder if something was wrong with you.

You decided to discuss with your friends about that matter and see if there was a possibility for you to develop a lil’ game in the dating sphere. You had discussed plenty of options with them but you had never really found common ground until the idea of being a sugar baby was announced. At first, you were like there is no way I’ll trade my cunny for some old fart like that even if he rich as fuck! But then your friends Bianca, Theresa and Marjorie had all the tea on how to get you to join the community (I deadass thought about getting one but the the independent feminist my mum raised could not do it!) They went over all the possibilities that could be suitable for you and they had even mentioned this option where you could get a sugar daddy that would provide you with everything and you wouldn’t have to give him sugar. 

You thought this was the best option that would be convenient for you. So with your friends' encouragement, you decided to go look up on the site www.sugardaddiesheaven.com( I totally made it up- I don’t think you’ll find something) for a very attractive man that would be willing to cater to your needs and you were surprised with how popular this site was and the reviews were immaculate! Your research did not take too long, something like 2-3 days and you had found your perfect match.

This long haired man was extremely well built, you had to double check his pictures through social media and Oh lord have mercy, how is it possible to have a body like that at that age!?!? You were gobsmacked as much as you were salivating to touch him- wait hold up why is it that I want to touch him like that? Why all of a sudden carnal desire is appearing in my life, hold on AM I STRAIGHT( this is me literally panicking anytime I simp for a anime/manga character that is a man hehe)

You decided to calm yourself down. It was okay to experience these feelings matter of fact, call it relief, because now you finally felt like you had something to hold onto other than yourself and the thing you had always wanted but never admitted it. 

You started analysing his profile, he was the CEO of Fire Force company, was in his early fifties, looked like a greek god had sculpted his body among many other features that he visibly had for instance the visible dick print on his tight pants like *clears throat* you do not have a little amount of shame huh, do you?! But that did not matter anyway, you were enjoying every bit of it! You mustered the courage to message him and were extremely nervous, as soon as you had sent it you decided to do something else to forget about it. An hour later, you checked your computer and he had answered. More surprisingly he had answered right away after you decided to leave your room. His reply was short, precise and concise: he asked if you would like to meet him before anything became official.

You both agreed to meet at this new hyped elegant restaurant so that way he could wine and dine you without no pressure at all on a day where you were free.You decided to showcase the body you had built over the years of hard work and honour it all with a simple yet effective hairstyle which consisted of a half up half down locks that would allow you to fully harness your inner goddess. (I love to see black women flaunt their natural hair as well as rocking whatever they decide to rock, it makes me smile so hard that as a result my cheeks hurt!) You were stunning, your brown skin was draped with this backless metallic orange satin dress that perfectly hugged your curves, you had black heels on, the penultimate touch of this amazing outfit was your earrings completed by this discreet purse .

You looked spectacular, smelled deliciously great and were a sight to behold. Your backside was stealing the show more than your actual back was supposed to but it’s fine to flaunt what ma gave you! It didn’t take long to get to La Plaza (I made that up as a place to eat at) by car, the interior had a refreshing vibe, it was fairly modern, and the beige aesthetic defined this place. You parked your car, got out of it and headed towards the restaurant.

You walked up to the reservations employee to ask for your possible future sugar daddy’s last name and before he could provide you with the information you were looking for, the legend appeared behind you and seductively whispered in your ear "You surely were beautiful on your profile picture but," he pauses for a few seconds before continuing "Oh my goodness, up close you are extremely gorgeous."

You were startled, you wanted to scream, it really caught you off guard! You calmly counted until ten and decided to face this person. For a couple of seconds, you no longer knew how to breathe as you were eagerly appreciating the man standing before you. He had a man bun( I really dig these for some odd reason). He was irresistible, remarkably good looking, you certainly won the lottery with this sugar daddy. He had a jawline gifted from the divine being adorned with a well groomed beard, emerald eyes. He already had white hair but that only did increase the magnetism he had. 

You knew that he could definitely make you ride his face, give you beard burns(pun intended) and whatnot (foreshadowing). Inner thought -Oh no, I think I am falling for this dude- let me check if I still want money without being dicked down.-

Just admiring him was making you wet and your pearl was steadily pulsing under that dress. The reservation’s person interrupted both of your hazes by clearing his throat and signalling that you were making people behind you wait. This time, Leonard said "May I lead you to our table so we can start our lunch" while he offered his hand. You answered with an unintelligible "Yes" before taking his hand and following him. 

While you were following him towards the table, you noticed his broad back, his well built frame and that he also had a nice backside! You were literally drooling so much that you had to stop gawking at this sight. The table at which you were going to eat was fairly secluded from the others, a bit of privacy was necessary. The truth is he just wanted you for himself. Maybe you did not get it but ever since you entered the place, everyone’s predatory gaze was on you.

Therefore, he wanted to ensure you would only be his prize for his eyes to look at. You go ahead to pull your chair but he stops you in your tracks and announces "No, I’ll do it, you are my guest here" and pulls the chair for you to sit down. You nod that you’re well seated and while he goes towards his, your gaze lingers upon his big veiny forearms, biceps, broad back then how huge his hands are.

You know you’re high key undressing him with your eyes but again *cough* he had no business looking like that! He was simply dressed but with such elegance! He had a black buttoned up shirt with rolled sleeves, two buttons open showcasing a lil’ of his torso, black chino pants and brown loafers. He had this watch on his left wrist, a gold chain on his neck needless to say he looked like a snack.

He has clearly grasped that you are enthralled by him, he chuckles and states "You can stare all you want dove, anytime you want and however long you want. I’m only yours" You gasp, you don’t know what to say, your mind is racing, his profile back on the sugar daddy site did not mention that he was this direct. Oh, now you remember your terrible skimming habit and how you tend to purposely not look over things that do not seem important.

You play along and strike your most genuine laugh to tell him "I didn’t think you would say this right away in our first encounter!" He declares the following: "There is no way I am letting you slip through my fingers, I wouldn’t forgive myself If I did such a thing!" You happily suggest "Interesting, you’re good looking, charming, smell extremely good, a gentleman so it makes me wonder, is there anything that you don’t have?" His response is definitely not what you expected but it certainly sparks your interest "I", he begins "don’t have you by my side yet. After that is settled I will not need anything else".

You exclaim "oooh, I like that kind of answer but you seem too sure for my own damn taste honey!" He bites back with "Don’t worry, there is not a single thing I told you that I can’t back up. Trust me I know what I am talking about darling" and he winks. You two are in front of each other and you decide to start the conversation because you had not said much from the moment he caught you by surprise. 

You express "How would you like me to call you?" He looks up from the menu and answers "Leonard or Leo. You can call me however you like, maybe later you’ll find a nickname that suits me and how should I call you too?" You tell him "Y/n it is." He utters "It’s a pleasure to meet you y/n" ,you respond with "same here Leo."

You start thinking that he smells too good, that you would not mind breathing in this fine cologne all day long because it is really intoxicating. You’re developing some urges for this handsome man such as longing even though being a sugar baby truly isn’t about that also possessiveness is settling itself in your head. He is right in front of you and he is only going to be yours, you tell yourself. His fate is sealed with you.

He orders a Dom Perignon P2 Plenitude Brut Rose for the table that is 1.5 k dollars and you just let him do his thing even though on the inside you are bewildered because he ordered that for the first meal you share.

For him, he orders a Caprese salad, a medium steak, Spaghetti alle Vongole and  lemon sherbert. You are going over the numerous options this fine restaurant has and you have finally chosen what you would like to order: for you it consists of a greek feta salad, a medium rare wagyu steak, kimchi stir fried rice, salmon nigiri your fave kind and for dessert a lindt lindor milk chocolate truffle cheesecake.

While you were ordering your food Leonard’s gaze was scrutinising your face, how your make up was flawlessly done, your beauty marks that looked like a constellation upon your face, your hair, your big eyes, your pretty face. He was getting enamoured the longer he looked at it. Then his eyes wander from your face to your shoulders and he sees your stretch marks, how they compliment your frame and add an exquisite feature that makes your uniqueness which says there is no other being out here exactly like you.

It was a delicious meal, you thanked him for it and said that "Pleasure was all mine." He added "A fine woman like you would never pay for anything as long as you are with me." 

A few moments later

He signals a waiter to give him something he needs right now that you didn't quite catch, and in less than a few minutes the waiter is back with a folder saying "Here you have it Sir Burns. Is there anything else you desire?" Burns answers "no, the service is excellent as always thank you, congratulate the chef for this delicious food!" He smiled and left. Now, you were intrigued by the folder Leonard held in his hands and soon you dropped the question "Is that anything of my concern?" with an insistent gaze he chuckles and affirms "yes honey ( oh no, he already started) these do concern you more specifically, what could eventually happen between me and you" and he ends his phrase by licking his lower lip.

He tells you that you should join him in his car to discuss this paper and you do follow him like a lost puppy without asking questions any further. His car is of course a luxurious one but he is not the one driving it because he gets in the backseat with you and before he starts talking about the documents he tells his personal driver to wind up the electric window that divides the driver's seat from the back one. He starts talking "So I have a contract with me that designates what you and I can and can’t do, requirements to meet and what I want- to quickly sum up, it is a mutual agreement where I do not deprive you of your freedom and just request 3 hours of your day 4 times a week if possible that you can still negotiate if it does not suit you?"

 "Why such negotiations now" you say "a while back in the restaurant, was it all talk then, I am disappointed" you pout your lips "I thought you truly wanted to ensure that I was yours!" 

He discloses "I always do this whenever I meet a new sugar baby because not all of them are willing to do this without a written agreement." At this point, you’re becoming jealous. Such questions that emerge in your mind are why is that he had other ones? Aren’t you meant to be my one and only but then it hits you that you have been staring at him and his voice takes you back to reality "Y/n, y/n are listening to what I am saying?"

You decide to become a little assertive, you did not like that he mentioned other girls, any other person other than you really. You asked yourself why hadn’t you found him earlier oh your independent woman pride kept you from it. First, you grab him by his gold chain and lead him closer to you and tell him the following "I want you for me, myself and I only. I do not want to see you flirting with any. other. woman. if I catch you it’s on sight, you finna lose all o’ this”- your left hand goes from the top of your head to your toes addressing what he could potently be deprived of if he does not follow your rules thoroughly- "and last but certainly not least, who I want and what I want Imma get it because that’s how my world works"

His eyes never left yours only when you motioned your hand from top to bottom, he swallows, seems visibly pleased by what he just heard and reveals his conditions "You’re right," you let go of his chain and he manspreads on the seat "I love women that are very much like me, territorial." He adds "I like where this is going so I might as well tell you how I do things" he gets closer to you and whispers in your ear putting his big hand on the back of your head making you lean onto him "Whatever I tell you to do you have to" he pauses and breathes in your ear, this makes you shudder. It is torture. Why is he doing this to you now?! He pursues with is current monologue "no questioning is tolerated, you are only mine and when we fuck, it is your duty to call me daddy otherwise you will regret it" he lets go of your head and looks at his watch "I still have a little bit of time ahead of me so let’s get it started" You give him an inquisitive look and he notifies you with "also give me your g string now"

You were shocked. First: how did he know that you had a g string(This mf had been viciously admiring your backside to figure it out ) and second out of all he could ask you to give him he wants this!? But you knew better, you couldn’t ask after you had imposed your rules upon him so you took your lace g string ( I had Avant-Nuit ones in mind when I wrote this) off and gave it to him. He tells you to put it on his face, sniffing it for a good amount of time with the evident traces of your arousal on it. This mf deadass put your g string in his pocket, you were flabbergasted. As if nothing had happened, he declares "I knew you would smell this sweet, the only thing left for me to do is to give your lovely bud the attention it needs!" you tell him "that’s fine with me shall we start then" He’s like "oh word, get it on then princess remember I’m all yours" and he smiles.

Smut ahead

You lifted your dress up, straddled his thighs, your heated core was right above his strained erection confined by his pants and asked "Can I please rub my pearl on your dick to get off daddy? I know you want me too, your eyes hardly ever leave my kissable lips. You want them on you don’t you?" This man was too stunned to speak and he only grunted a yes for you to start doing your thing. You started kissing him and grinding above his hard on to get off, it was good but not quite what you needed. Grunts and mewls alongside the loud squelch of your wet pussy are the only thing both of you hear. He grabs your left hip grinding in sync with you, satisfied by the friction and starts to shamelessly smack your butt with his right hand. At this point, you don’t even ask him why he is doing it it just feels good so you drop him "Harder daddy, please spank me harder daddy"

"You’re such a nasty woman, you know that"

"Yes, but don’t lie to me you’re into this kind of nasty too"

"Ah shit, I am living my best life at fifty while my girl is getting off on me"

"Yes, yes, yes please don’t stop, I am almost there"

Your orgasm is rapidly approaching, you feel it and all of a sudden he keeps you from moving your hips on him. 

"Why is that you’ve stopped me, you are not keeping your promises. I am heading home!" you threatened him but he doesn’t move, he’s just sitting there heavily breathing. So, as you’re trying to quit his lap he tells you "You’re going to get off on my face, I know that is what you want. You have been eyeing my beard for too long, I’m sure you want to ride it honeysuckle."

He commands you to sit down, spread your legs and takes a look at your dripping folds. He exclaimed "you’re drenched, you’re always like this when with somebody else?" 

"No," you sigh "this is only for you too enjoy."

He sniffs right on it "I can never get enough of your essence" He puts his arms under your  thighs to lift you up a little bit and pull you towards him to have easy access to your slick folds. Before he starts eating you, he mumbles "itadakimasu" and dives in.

He is tirelessly lapping your clit, drinking your arousal, kissing, sucking it. He is doing all of this while looking at you and how you arch your back on the seat. “Fuck, Leo don’t stop, keep at it right there. Your tongue feels so good!”

He hummed and it made your clit vibrate. Your denied orgasm is quickly getting there and this time he plans on giving it to you. You grab his hair and force him to really get in there

( sis tryna drown him oh my days hehe 🤭y/n evil out here)  

"I’m cumming" and you start shaking for a whole minute before getting your breath steady again. 

"That is one" he utters, with his glistening beard "Now for this time, you ride my face"

"I don’t think it would be a good idea to do that"

"Why is that"

"Well, I wouldn’t want to get a beard burn"

"Ah, you’re right that is why I told you to ride it. You’re the one doing all the work now"

"Ok, you promise you won’t move?" 

"Yes I do"(this impatient mf lying, just wait)

He lowers his mouth on your pussy and you guide his head for him to stay put like that. You slowly start to go up and down and your clit continuously bumps his nose. It hurts so good that you are melting into the backseat and you really don’t care if people outside are able to hear you, today you are having the best orgasms of your whole existence! This man was definitely something else, he did pretty much not leave any room for you to compare him to any other sexual intercourse you had ever had. He lets you ride his nose for some time before he takes back control and starts vigorously assaulting your bud, bringing you to your second orgasm of the afternoon.

"For this last time I am going to finger you, is that okay with you?"

"Yes but hold up, you have only gotten me off what about you?"

"Sweetheart, don’t worry about me" he says stroking your cheek "making you come undone is my favourite thing to do"

Then, he starts fingering you and eating you out at the same time. You now know why these hands were big, what they could do and oh my these fingers were long, thick as hell. He did not let you catch your breath for a single minute. He enjoyed the show he was witnessing. You were gasping left and right. He was relentlessly bullying your clitoris, his thick fingers were fingering your cunny extremely fast and you knew that this time your orgasm would be different because of the overwhelming amount of stimulation. He carefully studied all the expressions your face showed, how you threw your head back when he sucked your clit, the whimpers that left your mouth when he did figure eights on it with his skilled tongue. Every single sound that came from you was honey for his ears, you were really magnificent to look at even in this dishevelled state.

You squirted all over his face, you’re surprised too because this had never occurred and you are panicking but also your third orgasm is making you sleepy. Still, you decide to mumble an apology. You tell him "It was not my intention to do that. I  did not know I could do that"

He responds "I am glad I was the first one to give it to you and you know who to come back to if you need it" he smirked. He was licking his fingers that were inside your vagina a few minutes ago with a wicked smile on his face saying "This was the best meal of my life thank you, my cinnamon bun" but you had already passed out on the seat. So, he decided the least he could do is keep you with him and take you to his place. While he was making sure you slept comfortably he called his driver on his phone to tell him "Marco, take us home"

"Understood sir" 

Comments and reblogs are immensely appreciated!

2022 © All rights reserved to @kaedeakeshisworld. Translations, modifications, replicas or even property of my achievement are not allowed without my approval. Do not repost/ recommend/ share it elsewhere!

#fire force smut #leonard burns smut #black reader #x reader insert #sugar daddy leonard burns #leonard burns x reader #leonard burns x you #daddy leonard burns #anime smut #smut #fire force x female reader #leonard burns x female reader #reader insert #leonard burns x black reader #black reader smut #black female reader #x reader #poc!reader #enn enn no shouboutai smut

[ftmtftm]

The issue of interpretation becomes obvious when considering transsexuals. For example, one cannot help but notice how much more empowering trans male descriptions of hormonal transition tend to sound compared to those of trans women. Trans men experience an increase in their sex drive, become less emotional, and their bodies become harder and stronger—all of these changes having positive connotations in our society. In contrast, I have experienced a decrease in my sex drive and become more emotional, softer, and weaker—all traits that are viewed negatively. The reason for these differing connotations is obvious: In our culture, femininity and femaleness are not appreciated nor valued to the extent that masculinity and maleness are.

I keep thinking about this passage from "Boygasms and Girlgasms: A Frank Discussion About Hormones and Gender Differences" within The Whipping Girl and how - Yes, high sex drive, being less emotional, and hard, strong bodies have positive connotations in our society.... But only when it's cis men or cis male conformist.

Femininity and femaleness aren't appreciated or valued to the extent that masculinity and maleness are in our society as a whole, and also though? Femaleness is coveted regardless because it is seen as something to be controlled and subjugated.

The assigned female body of a trans man is still seen through the lense of womanhood by the cis person, especially if we are noncishetero conformist. When I inject myself with testosterone while still remaining more or less feminine/androgynous or masculine in a queer way and am gay, I am not welcomed into manhood and maleness with open arms. There's a reason why Lou Sullivan was repeatedly rejected from gender clinics and surgeons when he approached them about beginning his own medical transition!!!

Even when a trans man is gender conforming modern transphobic hate movements view him as a mutilated woman that destroyed her body. It is all the same whether the mindset is "she" mutilated "her" body and is now a lost sister of the revolution (TERFs) or "she" mutilated "her" body and is no longer a useful woman for child rearing and we must prevent this from happening again to other women (conservative patriarchy).

Sure, my gender conforming strawman might move through general society easier. His transition and masculinity might be met with a general acceptance if he conforms! That is a privilege in its own right. However, it is deeply deeply conditional and also mostly interpersonal! "Privilege" as a term has been layman-ized to mean something else entirely outside of the discussion of social institutions, but that's really what it's there to describe. Unless someone is completely 100% stealth (meaning they've had the time, money, and resources to not only medically transition in a cis passing manner but also get all of their legal documentation in order - also meaning that they live in or are from a state where they can actually change something like their birth certificate!) there is always the risk of them being outed and immediately removed from their place of "privilege" which...... Pretty clearly demonstrates that they don't actually hold any sort of structural, institutional power over others even if they had the opportunity to act as an agent of it but that is a completely different conversation, I am just rambling now.

Masculinity and maleness is celebrated - in cis men. Not in people the patriarchy views as defectors from the "correct" gender role. This idea that trans men are celebrated for our masculinity comes from the same place as the idea that butches are somehow celebrated for their masculinity - it's all an assumption based on false equivalency.

#original post #ftmtftm reads theory

[horansqueen]

Lost Without You - chapter 1

Story Masterlist ❤

❤

NOTES  🎶

- written from both Niall and Oddie’s POVs - i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. - AU. Smut. Fluff. Comedy. (tw : cheating) - 3k - i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! - if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

1.

Oddie

Have you ever been in love? The feeling that spreads inside you when you realize that the person you're in love with is also in love with you, is something that can not be defined with words. It's something you have to live with your own being, with your heart, with your soul, with your head. It invades you from the pit of your stomach to every single extremities of your body. It makes you euphoric in a way nothing else can, making you believe that anything is possible, and that you're the luckiest person in the world. It makes you think that every single day with this person will be as wonderful as the first.

It's a lie.

Of course, I think love is wonderful, don't get me wrong! But the older you get, the more you change, and you can't expect the person you love to still be the same person you fell in love with decades ago. You're different, too, and that's okay. For some people, it makes them stronger and for others it tears them apart. It's a 50/50 chance and if you don't win, then you have to decide what to do with the relationship you spent so long building. Should you hold on to it in hope it'll get better, or try to start over to get back that inexplicable feeling you used to feel, but this time with someone else?

"Hey, kiddo, are you okay?"

I got out of my thoughts and nodded quickly, taking a sip of my now cold coffee.

"No really, tell me what happened. I sort of thought this morning would have been fun."

Angela was my oldest friend and I loved her. We met in high school and she was pretty much the only friend I had left. Starting a family and getting married at a early age can do that to your friendships, sometimes.

"Oh you know, with Mack knocking at the door while we were doing the missionary, and the fact that Ryan was almost late for work, it was a pretty ordinary morning."

My friend took a sip of wine while staring at me, her eyebrows raised. "Fun." she finally said with sarcasm, putting her glass back on the counter. "That sounds like my last birthday morning, too."

Angela had a son that was a year older than my daughter and had been with her husband for a few years, too. Somehow, I felt like she was the only one who could understand me, even if not completely.

"Let me be brutally honest, Oddie." she added, licking her lips and sighing. "You don't seem much happy these days. In fact, you look depressed and you have for a few weeks now. How are things with Ryan? Do you still love him?"

"Yes, of course I do love him, I mean, he's my first love and, we're perfect for each other." I shrugged, trying to figure out if my words were true.

"Correction, darling : You used to be perfect for each other." she added, tilting her head. "That was over a decade ago, and you were both teenagers."

I wanted to argue with her about the love Ryan and I had for each other, because we did love each other, but instead, I grabbed my glass and took a sip of it. "Are you going to help me with the preparation of this damn party, Angie, or are you only here to convince me that my marriage is a failure?"

I sent her a small smile that she sent back before chuckling. "I just want you thinking outside of the box!" she explained, still smiling. "Think out of this relationship you have."

"It's more than a relationship, we're a family, Angie." I explained gently, getting up. "And my family is the most important thing in my life."

It was true. I was not ready to give up what I had for what I could have. The truth was, I had never loved anyone else but my boyfriend. Of course, a few times, I had met some interesting and pretty persons, but I always ended up comparing them to Ryan, and they never made the cut. To me, it was enough.

We prepared the cake and cooked food for an army. I hated cooking but I knew Ryan preferred it to a caterer and i wanted to make him happy. We decorated the living room and the kitchen, and finished with wrapping up a few gifts, putting them on the coffee table in the living room.

"Shoot, there's no wine anymore."

I glanced at my friend and let out a chuckle. "You drank the whole bottle already?"

"Don't judge me. It's the first day in weeks that I don't spend with my son." she argued. "Can't I have a little fun?"

"Just try not to be completely drunk before the guests arrive, will you?"

The first few guests got right on time, which is half an hour before my boyfriend got back home and then the doorbell never stopped ringing. I got a text message and quickly checked the name on the screen.

I had been communicating with a friend from his work that I had never met before so he would bring my boyfriend on time for his surprise. It was a guy he had spent all his university years with, that he graduated with, and that he now worked with after a year of two of not seeing him. I was pretty sure Ryan suspected I was doing something for him on his birthday, but it didn't matter, I knew he'd be happy tp spend the evening with his friends.

'We'll be there in 5 minutes! Can't wait to meet you for the first time!'

I smiled at my phone and sent him a thumb up and a smiley before putting my phone in my pocket and looking up, biting my bottom lip.

"Okay everyone, Ryan will be there in five minutes! Be ready to scream 'Happy Birthday'!"

It seemed like forever until the doorknob started moving and I felt my heart hit my chest hard when everyone shouted. My lips curled immediately and I started nibbling on my bottom lip.

"Oh my god, thanks everyone!"

I chuckled low, staring at my boyfriend, until someone moved next to him, appearing suddenly in my line of sight. The first thing I noticed was his smile, and the way his light blue eyes shined. He laughed, patting my boyfriend on the shoulder, and finally turned to me. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other. For some odd reason, we recognized each other without knowing who we were. Of course, I couldn't be sure if Ryan had showed him a picture of me or not, but it didn't matter. I watched them walk my way and took my eyes off of Niall with difficulty to look at my boyfriend.

"Thank you baby." he whispered, wrapping his arms around me as I tilted my chin up. "That makes me very happy." His lips pressed against mine and I felt his stubble scratch gently my chin.

"You know I love making you happy." I murmured back, kissing his lips against with a smile. "Go have fun with your friends."

He moved slightly away and sent me a smile before grabbing Niall by the sleeve, pulling him closer. "That's my friend Niall, I don't think you two ever met."

"No, but we sort of kept in touch for the past week or so." I admitted, making my boyfriend frown and Niall chuckle. I glanced at him and he looked down before looking back in my eyes. "I found him on your facebook and asked him to help bring you home on time."

Ryan's lips curled and he shook his head slightly. "You're amazing." Once again, he bent down and kissed me but this time, he made the kiss grow and it made my heart jump in my chest for a reason I ignored. "Okay, I'll go talk with people. Thanks again, babe."

I nodded, feeling his hand slip away from my waist and slowly turned to Niall. He passed his hand in his hair and I licked my lips, wondering how it would feel to do it myself. It was crazy. Like I said, I did find other people attractive in the decade I spent with Ryan, but with Niall, it felt different, or at least that's what I thought. Perhaps I would wake up tomorrow morning and roll my eyes at the feeling invading me at this moment, and somehow, I hoped that's what would happen. After all, I was taken, and he was my boyfriend's close friend.

"Thanks a lot for the help." I let out with a small smile, tilting my head slightly. I was a bit scared he'd come back too early."

"Or too late. The guy loves his work."

I laughed and nodded, licking my lips again. Perhaps it was a sign of nervousness, who knows.

"You can go meet people, I need to be a good hostess."

Niall

Ryan had a picture of him, his wife and his daughter on his desk, at work, which means I already knew what Oddie looked like. She was cute, nothing more, and I never really thought anything about it. Not only was she dating one of my oldest friends, she didn't really catch my eyes anyway. When she messaged me about Ryan's birthday, we started talking and I quickly understood why Ryan liked her so much.

I ended up thinking that hanging out with both of them would be fun, but then my eyes met hers. I had not expected her to affect me the way she did. It was like something special emanated from her only to reach me and confuse me in a way I never was. She was looking at Ryan with love in her eyes, and somehow, I wanted it too. I was not sure if I wanted her to look at me like that, or if I had just been single for way too long, but it did something to me that I couldn't explain.

I smiled and pushed my hands in my pockets when Ryan left us together but only a few seconds later, she left. My eyes followed her until she walked in the kitchen and I blinked a few times, licking my lips and looking around. I didn't know many people and it was not something that normally stopped me, but the only person I really wanted to get to know was Oddie.

I shrugged and made my way to the kitchen too, feeling suddenly a bit nervous. I didn't know if she wanted to be left alone, and I felt bad for intruding or imposing myself. I knocked gently and passed my head through the door frame. She turned around, her light brown hair moving around her head, and when she noticed me, her lips curled into a smile.

"I don't want to bother."

She shook her head slightly and closed her eyes for a second before they fluttered back open. "No don't worry, I could definitely use some company."

I walked slowly inside and pressed my lips together as she moved around the kitchen to put more food on plates.

"Can I help?"

"Oh, uhm," she glanced up at me. "Could you get the bottle of white wine in the fridge please?"

I nodded but held my breathe for a few seconds before taking a few steps closer. To reach the fridge, I would have to walk around the table and the isle, or squeeze through her and the counter. I chose the later and without thinking, I put my hands on her waist to hold her in place while I moved on the side to slide behind her.

The way her body responded to my touch made me swallow hard, or perhaps it was the way my body reacted, I was not sure.

"Sorry, I didn't want to-"

"No, no it's cool, no worries." she replied quickly, stammering slightly before sending me a shy smile.

I opened the fridge and grabbed the bottle before finding a glass and pouring some in it. I handed her the glass and she tilted her head before squinting as she stared at me.

"How did you know it was for me, and not just for the guests."

I shrugged, raising my eyebrows and still holding the glass up. "Lucky guess."

She waited a few more seconds but finally chuckled and took the glass from my hands before taking a long sip of it. I watched her, my lips curling more and more as she emptied her glass.

"Nervous?"

"Very, it's going to be a long evening."

"You don't like socializing?" I asked, putting the bottle on the counter and leaning against it.

"I do, I'm just not good at organizing things, and it stresses me a bit. I always feel like people need more things, or are just bored." she admitted, moving her shoulders up. "But Ryan is good at that, so hopefully he'll entertain his friends."

"And why didn't you opt for a sweet and loving evening only the two of you?"

Oddie breathed in and sighed before tilting her head again. "Ryan prefers evenings like this. Which, I believe, is something you enjoy too. Isn't it how you two met?"

I laughed and nodded. "It's true, we did. But I also enjoy a good evening at home, cuddling on the couch and watching a show."

Her eyes fluttered again and she pressed her lips together. "Yea, me too." She breathed in and shrugged again. "Okay enough chatting, I need to bring the food to my guests."

Something caught my eyes, moving behind her and I looked up only to see Ryan, putting his finger over his lips to tell me to keep quiet. For some reason, I felt like Oddie was not the type of girl who enjoyed being scared from behind but I kept my mouth shut.

Ryan quickly wrapped his arms around her and she jumped, letting out a short but high scream that made him laugh.

"Fuck! I hate when you do that!"

"I know," he replied with a smirk, bending down to kiss her neck. "That's why it's so funny."

I raised my nose up in a grimace but again, remained silent. Who was I to judge the dynamic of their relationship?

"So Niall, what do you think of my girlfriend?" my friend asked me, making me hold my breath.

I watched Oddie move forward to get out of his embrace and finally smiled. "She's cool."

I wanted to tell more but I was not sure why, and I also was not sure he wanted to hear it.

"Damn right she is." he agreed with a chuckle before moving his bottle up. "Beer?"

I nodded quickly as I noticed Oddie grabbing a few plates and walking past her boyfriend to go back to the living room. We followed her but when she moved to the right, I followed Ryan to the left, glancing at his girlfriend as she started talking with a few people.

I tried to put my complete attention back to Ryan and when he handed me a beer, I took it and thanked him. He started chatting about a few things and presented me to a few of his friends. After about an hour and a few beers, I had almost forgotten about the weird feeling Oddie had made me feel.

"I can't believe I'm leaving for a whole weekend." Ryan let out with a sigh after a while. "I mean I love my job, but I'm not sure about leaving my girlfriend and my daughter for two days."

"Why, are you gonna miss them?" I asked with an amused smile, raising my eyebrows.

"Probably, yea." he admitted, looking behind me, probably at his girlfriend. "I mean I've never spent more than a few hours away from them. Also, our boss asked for next weekend, and probably a few more in the next few months."

I didn't understand how you could miss someone after only two days but I didn't argue and took an other sip of my beer. It was getting late and I knew I should go home, I just didn't feel like it.

I ended up sitting on the couch with only a few guests left. Oddie was sitting right in front of me with Ryan's arm laying at her shoulders' level, on the back of the couch. I could see how tired she was. Her eyes were closing by themselves but she was trying really hard to stay awake anyway until she breathed in and shook her head slightly.

"I hope you guys can excuse me, but I'm very tired, I got up early this morning." she let out, catching everyone's attention. "I'm so sorry."

She said her good night to everyone and when she got closer to me, I quickly got up. She moved her chin up to look in my eyes and sent me a tired smile that made something stir in my stomach.

"Good night, Niall. Thank you for the help, I hope we can meet again soon."

"Of course, it was a pleasure to finally meeting you."

Her smile turned into a fond one and I bent down to kiss her cheeks gently. She put both her hands on my shoulders and I felt the warmth of her palm reach my skin through the fabric of my shirt. Without thinking, I put one of my hands on her waist and felt her tense a bit before relaxing suddenly.

"Take a cab, okay?" she whispered just as her cheek pressed against mine. "You drank too much to take your car."

I didn't argue, I just nodded and she did the same before walking past me to reach the stairs. After she disappeared, I breathed in deeply, realizing I had stopped, and turned to Ryan.

"Hey mate, I'm leaving, it was night spending that time with you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan love story #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan au #my fanfics #lwy

[klodizzle]

100 tips from my mom who passed away two years ago

1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.

2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.

3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.

4. You are good enough.

5. You have to love yourself before expecting others love.

6. A man does not validate your existence.

7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.

8. Wear what makes you feel beautiful.

9. Love the world unconditionally. It's one of the only things that will remain after you. Be kind to it and leave as small a carbon footprint as possible.

10. The partners we choose are additions to our lives. They do not 'belong' to you, nor you to them. You are two separate people who chose to come together. It should always remain a choice.

11. Don't be high maintenance.

12. Wear sunscreen. Every day.

13. People love you because of how you make them feel about themselves.- When someone feels good in your presence they're going to want to spend more time there.

14. Don't judge others- it's not your job.

15. Walk with your head up and look people in the face when communicating.

16. Be honest and loyal.

17. Never, ever bite your nails.

18. You're beautiful with and WITHOUT make-up.

19. Learn from your mistakes. And mine.

20. Dental hygiene is not an option.

21. Your GPA is not a confession of your character.

22. There is strength in breaking down.

23. You don’t have to like yoga.

24. You have a voice for a reason- use it.

25. Take care of your feet. And your teeth.

26. The most important part of being beautiful is feeling beautiful. Do and wear whatever makes you feel beautiful, regardless of fads.

27. Lead by example.

28. Classy is a relative term.

29. Dance- Even if you can't. Don't be afraid of what others think. You'll have so much more fun if you aren't.

30. Learn to say no and mean it.

31. Be the fruit loop in a world of Cheerios. Stand out. Like what you like. Don't adapt to who others are. You are unique and there's nothing more beautiful than confidence.

32. Teach. In every way possible. Explain things, offer your experience and listen to others that do. Never forget that your ideas are much more valuable when paired with the experiences of others. Individually, we only know so much...

33. Learn to laugh at yourself.

34. Give back. Volunteer, teach, read, donate. It feels so much better to give than to receive.

35. A woman is a woman is a woman- Don't compare yourself to others. That also goes for men...

36. Take something from everyone that crosses your path. Note the thinks that you like or dislike about them and implement or remove those traits from yourself.

37. Cry, uninhibited.

38. Laugh until you can’t breathe.

39. Keep others secrets.

40. Eat soul food- often.

41. There is no shame in hoping for love. Don't be too desperate to find it. It can't be forced or rushed.

42. Play. You're only as old as you feel. Run through the sprinklers, chase down the ice cream truck and swing at the park every chance you get.

43. Do not take sex lightly.

44. I mean it.

45. Anna Karenina. I’d like it if you read it.

46. The world spins on the principle of inherent tragedy. Life isn't fair. The sooner you accept that, the easier it will be.

47. Be independent. Don't rely solely on someone else, financially, emotionally or otherwise. Always make sure that you are in a situation because you want to be. You have the right to change your mind as many times as you wish.

48. Put time aside for yourself. You will be a better partner and parent because of it.

49. Carbohydrates are not the enemy. Neither is your body.

50. Involve yourself in an organized activity of your choosing. Especially if it's something unfamiliar that terrifies you.

51. Listen to classical music-occasionally. Country music-often.

52. Sing in the shower. And car.

54. You are more than capable. Anything worth having requires hard work. If it comes too easy, it probably is.

55. Self reflect. Be accountable.

56. Don’t smile if you don’t mean it.

57. Mean your anger. Mean your sadness. Mean your pain. Don't play games with yours or others emotions.

58. I am always, always listening.

59. Bad associations spoil good habits.

60. Be silly.

61. Don't fear failure. It's how we learn. The only true failure is not trying in the first place. Everything else is just experience.

62. Be the best person you can be. Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is watching, regardless of benefit to yourself.

63. Come home smelly, tired, smiling and with a good story.

64. Your story isn’t really yours. Share it.

65. The most valuable thing that we have to offer others is our time. It's precious, don't waste it. Spend it wisely and appreciate it when it's given.

66. Well-fitting and modest is ALWAYS sexier than too small and tight.

67. The ugliest thing in this world is discrimination. Who are we to decide who someone else should love, what color skin they should have or what birth control options they should choose. Never, ever make someone feel inferior because of their differences.

68. Don't ask questions that you already know the answer to. The only validation you need is your own. On the other hand, don't be afraid to ask the questions you don't.

69. If you hurt, let yourself hurt. If you want to cry, cry. Everyone deals with life differently. Just remember, that it is no one else's responsibility to heal you. Although, some will try, it's not possible. You have to take the steps to heal yourself. Be open to it. It can't happen unless you're ready.

70. Humility and subservience are not synonyms.

71. Wash your face twice per day.

72. Be gentle to your body. It's the only one you have. It will carry you and frustrate you all at the same time, but just like life, what you put in to it will be proportionate to what you get out of it.

73. Science is really cool. So is literature. And history. And math.

74. People can and do change. Only, if and when they want to.

75. There is no substitute for fresh air or the calmness of water.

76. There is no shame in asking for help.

77. Despite the saying, love is not unconditional, it really is... You can't treat people poorly and expect them to stay. They won't. Nor should you. We get what we give.

78. Carry your weight. Do your best. That's all you have and as long as you put all the effort you have in to something, even if it doesn't work out, you will be able to walk away from it with no regret.

79. If you do what you've always done, you're going to get what you've always gotten. Change, although scary, can be wonderful.

80. That salad is not better than pasta and it never will be. Period.

81. You’re fooling no one. Nor should you try. Be yourself in every situation.

82. Find at least three green vegetables you can tolerate.

83. A smoothie is not a meal. Neither is ramen.

84. Expect the best from everyone and regardless of how many have wronged you in the past, trust everyone fully until they give you a reason not to.

85. Leave your baggage at the door. If you can't, you're in the wrong place. Go home and finish your work. Nobody deserves to pay for someone else's mistakes.

86. Take time off. Travel. Make memories. Never get too busy making a living that you forget to make a life. No one ever looked back and wished they had worked more. Life is about people, not material things.

87. There is a certain kind of man ( and woman) you need to avoid at all costs. It'll take awhile to recognize him/her, but once you do, never go against your instincts.

88. Be kind. Always- To yourself and others.

89. What other people say is right isn't always what's right for you. Go with your instincts and do what's best for you. You're the only one lying your head down on your pillow at night and the only one responsible for the choices you make.

90. Find something that makes you incredibly happy and never stop doing it.

91. Give thoughtful gifts. Never money or gift cards. Take the time to make someone feel special.

92. Form an opinion. Make sure it's based on fact rather than emotion. Don't be afraid to change it based on experience. Remain as open- minded as possible. You'll miss out on so much if you're not.

93. "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer. Especially in regard to feelings. If you truly don't know, take the time to reflect and find out.

94. Read as many books as possible. It's a wonderful thing to step out of reality and in to a book.

95. Argue with people when you need to. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Never let anyone bully you in to silence.

If it’s worth fighting for, fight fiercely.

96. Don't ever miss an opportunity to learn. Use every vehicle available to do so. Knowledge is power.

97. Don’t fight for acceptance. You can't please everyone, regardless of how hard you try.

98. Never miss an opportunity to tell someone how you feel. You never know when it is the last time you will see them,

99. Take pictures. Our memories sometimes fail us, our bodies change and we age. Pictures are timeless.

100. I'm proud of you. I love you and I will ALWAYS be here for you.

~Mom

[thornybushybrambles]

Sorry to ask, but is dating trans identified women too bad? I was thinking of giving one a chance, but I read some of your stuff and I have doubts 💀 if I can ask that, do relationships with them tend to be too gendered or too different from dating a conscious normie or rad leaning lesbian?

My honest opinion, if you are already friends/really like them, I would still say go for it. Real connection is what's most important, not politics, and depending on their personality you might even be able to get over the difference. Hell, you might be able to open their worldview to more feminist ideas too, best case scenario!

I'm not a super black and white person, and that's partly the reason I dated trans people to begin with. I did love my exes, and I did genuinely believe in my relationships. I also didn't breakup with anyone just because they were trans either, there were other issues at play that really sunk the knife in. I wouldn't do it again though because after three strikes I'm out, and there's a lot that I just don't want to look past anymore. I didn't like the aspect that my identity was constantly on trial, nor do I find myself stable enough an individual to deal with someone else's body issues (this was a big one for me) not to mention medical stuff gets complicated fast. There's a lot of emotional highs and lows when it comes to dysphoria, especially since it's almost always a package deal with other mental illness and trauma. As for the gendered aspects, eh, YMMV. My most recent ex identified as a "mostly straight" FTM person, so there was a lot of pressure on me to play the "girl" role (or occasionally the "femboy" role depending on the evening). My ex before that, she was more "woman-aligned nonbinary" so that specific pressure was pretty much absent from the relationship.

I have never dated a normie lesbian ergo I cannot compare on that end. Cries.

But I would just ask yourself if you're cool referring to your hypothetical gf as your partner or bf indefinitely (this probably means defending their identity and pronouns in less than accepting company btw), and if you're okay with the idea of comforting someone who's dysphoric in an extremely personal way that may rub off on you from time to time. If you're fine with all that, then I'd say go for it. You miss 100% of the shots you don't shoot, ya know?

#ask