#ambivalent attachment

[glitterkitty2-0]

don't have children when you don't know how to take care of them. and I don't mean just physical abuse. if you don't know how to make them feel okay and safe and like they belong in this world: don't. have. children.

#bpd #mental illness #borderline #borderline personality disorder #mentally ill #mental disorder #mental instability #abandonment #fear of abandonment #attachment #attachment disorder #attachment issues #ambivalent attachment #addiction #emotional neglect

[marsduality]

From The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole Heller

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AN INTRODUCTION TO ATTACHMENT STYLES

The human attachment system is an inherent, biological, and natural process that relates to everything we do in life, especially when it comes to our relationships with others. Although secure attachment is what we're after here, it's important to note that whatever attachment style we live with evolved to keep us safe. Even insecure attachment patterns are designed to help us survive dangerous situations, and none of these styles are set in stone. The next four chapters look at each of these four adaptations in depth and provide ways to work with them. Here's a quick overview to get us going:

Secure Attachment. This is the type of attachment in the ideal situation described earlier. Securely attached people typically grew up with plenty of love and support from consistently responsive caregivers, and as adults they are interdependent, connecting with others in healthy, mutually beneficial ways. 'They are okay both in connection and on their own; they can think with fexibility, can perceive a range of possibilities, are comfortable with differences, and resolve conficts without much drama. They can internalize the love they feel from others and forgive easily.

Avoidant Attachment. People with this attachment style have a tendency to keep intimacy at arm's length or to diminish the importance of relationships. They often were neglected: left alone too much as children, rejected by their caregivers, or their parents weren't present enough (or only present when teaching them some type of task). Avoidants have disconnected- put the brakes on-their attachment System, so reconnecting to others in safe and healthy ways is extremely important

Ambivalent Attachment. People with the ambivalence adaptation deal with a lot of anxiety about having their needs met or feeling secure in being loved or lovable. Their parents might have shown them love, but as children they never knew when their parents might get distracted and utterly pull the rug out from underneath them. Their care was unpredictable of notably intermittent. They be hypervigilant about relational slights or any hint of abandonment, which amps up their attachment system into overdrive. Anticipating the impending inevitability of abandonment that they are convinced is coming, they often feel sad, disappointed, or angry before anything actually happens in their adult relationships. For ambivalents, consistency and reassurance are paramount.

Disorganized Attachment. This attachment style is characterized by an excess of fear, and the attachment system is at cross purposes with the instinct to survive threat. When stressed, sick, or frightened, a child naturally wants to seek comfort and protection from a loving parent, but what do they do when the same Parent is the source of fear or distress? People with this style can get stuck in a threat response and/or swing between avoidance and ambivalence without much of an identifiable pattern. They often suffer from psychological and physical confusion. Disorganized parents may fear their own children. As children, they saw their parents as threatening, or their parents simply emanated an atmosphere of fear or dread due to their own unresolved trauma. Disorganized folks are often emotionally dysregulated, dealing with sudden shifts in arousal, or dissociated and checked out. Since they are prone to the most disturbance, reestablishing a fundamental sense of regulation and relative safety are the most important things for people with this attachment style.

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#The Power of Attachment #attachement style stuff #secure attachment #insecure attachment #anxious attachment #avoidant attachment #ambivalent Attachment #disorganized attachment #Diane Poole Heller

[katimorton]

Today I'm talking about the four attachment styles and how they play out in relationships. My name is Kati Morton, I'm a licensed therapist sharing how attachment styles affect our relationships, and how you can learn to recognize them and adjust your behavior accordingly. We'll be covering relationship attachment issues, styles and the attachment theory model. We will also talk about anxious attachment, avoidant behavior, and much more. 

If you're looking to understand your relationship better, be sure to watch this video! It'll help you to understand how your attachment style affects your relationships, and how you can change it to improve your relationships. 

BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP https://katimorton.com/the-shop/p/healthy-boundaries 

If you're wondering if you're overly attached in your relationship, this video is for you! I will tell you about the four attachment styles and how they can affect your relationship. After watching this video, you'll be able to understand why you and your partner behave the way you do and how to best manage your attachments!

#attachment styles #attachment issues #anxious attachment #disorganized attachment #insecure attachment #overly attached girlfriend #relationship advice #kati morton #therapy #mental health #mental health support #psychology #ambivalent attachment

[moonlit-positivity]

This is for my adult survivors who push people away!! WATCH THIS VIDEO!! Let me explain to you why you feel the need to push people away. As a child, you were often shunned for having intense emotional responses to things that upset you. You were often told to "straighten up", yelled at, berated, or even beat when displaying tantrums. Your parents never gave you a safe space to express your needs in a loving manner- and so you've grown up expecting others to treat you the same way. Since you were never taught that your needs are important, you tend to bottle them inside and wait for someone to notice you suffering. Where as, when you are given a safe, secure connection as a child and encouraged to feel your emotions, you learn to speak up when you're needs are not being met, and also reinforced that this is a normal, healthy, process and that others will usually meet your needs with kindness and respect. This does not happen in a dysregulated family system. So you grow up learning to bottle yourself up, and that others will leave you if you were to express your needs with them.

Fearing that rejection, you push them away before they can hurt you.

Please please please know, these feelings come from a place deep inside where your inner child is BEGGING for a secure connection with a protector. This video instantly snapped with me. The push and pull of being overwhelmed with extreme emotions as a child. The way this parent approaches the situation is a great way to help heal that little one inside you who is scared to open up for fear of being rejected. THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO SEE.

TRUST ME.

#attachment #anxious attachment #ambivalent attachment #attachment theory #bpd #borderline personality disorder #abandonment #cptsd #healing #recovery #avoidant attachment #parenting #gentle parenting #reparenting

[minttealelf]

I don't ask for much. I just want someone to listen to me enthusiastically talk for a long time about attachment theory and the internal working model.

#counseling #mental health #ambivalent attachment #avoidant attachment #therapy #just baby counselor things

[tenth-sentence]

They seem to have concluded that unless they make a spectacle, nobody is going to pay attention to them.

"The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma" - Bessel van der Kolk

#book quote #the body keeps the score #bessel van der kolk #nonfiction #attachment styles #anxious attachment #ambivalent attachment #attention seeking

[inhalingmagic]

They advice me to free myself from the negative experiences of the past.

Very accurate to my situation. I have to end a friendship of 10 years coz it has gotten toxic during last year or so. I have to end it no matter how sad it is. If a friend hurts and criticizes you constantly he's NOT a real friend.

#runes of the day #runes #tigers eye #rune stones #friendship #sad #hurt #end of friendship #:( #futhark runes #ambivalent attachment #attachment theory #trauma

[jaymber]

My Headcanons about Kerry Eurodyne :

Totally lost his hearing some time in his mid-forties. The cyberware behind his ears helps him to hear now. He turns the aid off whenever someone talks too much for his liking.

Signed with Kovachev while under the influence. He doesn't know what he signed for, for how long, and, before meeting V, didn't have the energy to figure out how to get out of that contract legally.

Was kicked out of school shortly before meeting Johnny (at 13/14)

Had lost contact with his parents by the same time

Which explain why he struggles with being the father of a upper class family (can't help with homework, hasn't lived in a family in a while, …)

Had an ambivalent attachment with his parents, which had repercussions on his relationships in general, but especially with Johnny because their interactions were the most inconsistent.

Has always been wild and rebellious, but Johnny was worse so no one really noticed his behavior

Had recurring dreams of the letter V during his time with his guru, hence why he tattooed it.

The RealSkinn isn't only a mean to hide his age, but also a mean to hide the scars that have accumulated throughout his life

While he was depressive episodes where he can't do anything, he also has manic episodes where he feels too creative and energized, where he HAS to make a new song before allowing himself to sleep or eat. He managed to keep his career going despite the slow days because of this.

Got a visit from Smasher shortly after the attack on Arasaka Tower back in 2023. He didn't only leave the city to forget, but also to feel safer.

Hasn't watched a single Bushidō movie since Johnny died.

Lost his friendship with Rogue after Johnny's death. Lashed out on her because she wouldn't tell him what happened. They're both too petty to make up.

#probably have more but I didn't want to make it too long :') #deaf!kerry and ambivalent-attachments!kerry are my fave hcs! #cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne

[dredshirtroberts]

oh shit y'all.

i've done gotten invested in Gurren Lagann. we're like 19 episodes deep in this paint and i have been emotionally compromised by the silly mechs.

believe in the me.

#that believes in you #i was gonna say pray for me but that makes me actively uncomfortable so don't do that #but i figured the believe in me thing was fitting #gurren lagann #i don't know how deep this rabbit hole will go for me - but i have a drill so let's find out i GUESS #y'all i did not anticipate this being what happened to me in my 30s i thought i'd found all the anime i was going to be emotionally attache #to in my teens and HERE WE ARE I MISSED ONE I GUESS #i'm having a blast don't let my silly complaints fool you i like to be dramatically angry about things that delight me sometimes #the THEMES the MOTIFS the STORY IT'S TELLING #UGH #SO GOOD #i don't want to hear criticism about it because it's BEAUTIFUL and I LOVE IT #we're watching kill la kill when we get done with gurren lagann and i am SO EXCITED about that trigger knows my weaknesses #and it's goofy faces and tiddies while dealing with really deep subject matter in a ridiculous way #also apparently mechs? wasn't anticipating that one at all i am ambivalent about mechs in general #but BOY HOWDY DID I CRY WHEN DAI-GURREN HAD TO EXPLODE ITS SWORD OFF #anyway... where was i #oh yeah so anyway in case you haven't guessed yet this taking over my brain slowly but surely and i'm sure there will be at least one #attempt at fic in the future for me we'll see how it goes #in the meantime... #oh yeah fun fact #i fucking thought gurren lagann the mech was from gundam and so when i started recognizing it i went THAT'S WHERE IT'S FROM?? but in my hea #because i didn't actually watch gundam i was ambivalent about mechs as stated earlier but of the gundams that one was my favorite #AND IT'S NOT EVEN A GUNDAM I FEEL SLIGHTLY LIED TO BUT IN A GOOD WAY SOMEHOW??? #anyway we're having a super normal one over here don't mind me

[harleylot]

You can pass attachment issues like a torch

#blogging #entry #ethel cain #nicole dollanganger #morute #vent art #ventcore #trauma art #traumacore #attachment issues #anxious attachment #ambivalent attachment style

[glitterkitty2-0]

you were my wake up call

but i really needed you to stay

#bpd #mental illness #borderline #borderline personality disorder #mentally ill #mental disorder #mental instability #abandonment #fear of abandonment #attachment disorder #attachment #ambivalent attachment #attachment issues #insecure attachment #broken heart #heartbreak #heartbroken #lonely #alone

[bsxcrxts]

Is it normal for my heart to drop when people ship other canon characters with Luke or am I just weirdly possessive?

depends on the depth of your reaction I'd say! like if it ruins your whole day, that might be a bit much to handle.

for me, I rarely ship characters with other characters anyway these days. there's not really anyone in disney canon right now that is a viable match with Luke since Mara is pretty much confined to legends material for now. some people ship dinluke which I don't have super strong feelings about since their canon interactions have been a bit... lacking... but I don't actively ship him with anyone

same with like, steve harrington, and pretty much everyone else I write. I don't super actively ship steve with anyone (even though steddie is popular rn) probably just because I'm used to writing x reader fanfic exclusively

but you could always block the ship tags if it really bothered you!

#i'm pretty ambivalent i guess. i don't really mind what other people do. unless the ship is shitty #like i actively hate r*ylo for clear and obvious reasons #but not bc i'm attached to rey or god forbid k*lo lol #also sometimes i just decide i don't respect canon or other people's headcanons at all lol even if theyre popular #i basically live in my own world lol

[theredquilt]

what do you think about the new podcast with Link’s Dad? Seems like they’ve been releasing a lot of podcasts lately…

Yeah they seem to be in a bit of a 'throwing things against the wall and seeing what sticks' phase. Idk, I don't listen to any of the others (apart from eb) so I probably won't listen to this either. A big part of the appeal seems to just be his accent? Idk if I really get it tbh.

#askask #tw negativity #guess deserting your wife and infant son works out sometimes #🤷 #like no shade my dad is also on his 3rd marriage #but he never did that #yeah idk #'ambivalent' is I guess how I feel about it #I imagine it will be very light hearted #more 'say this word wrong' and less 'lets talk about why this 45 year old man still has attachment issues' #ho ho ho

[nulfaga]

from Juan Cole's translation of the Rubaiyat

#i feel...ambivalently toward these. maybe im just too attached to the fitzgerald versions

[whats-a-clever-username]

Fun fact: before I even suspected I was cisn't, I genuinely entertained changing my name to Irene after the folk standard

#kirby's personal issues #every time a cover floats across my spoofy daily mixes it is judged Harshly with No Remorse #where my afab nbs ambivalent about gender overly attached to afab song gang-

[thekidsarentalright]

it's so interesting to me abt myself that i Was an mcr fan in middle school but grew out of it like. my brain only attached itself to fob and said fuck u to any other band i liked

#now i am very very like ambivalent towards them. mostly like #and genuinely from the bottom of my heart think fob are better than them but i don't wanna be killed so that's a joke actually haha #but yeah i wonder why my brain attached to fob and not mcr or p!atd like. hm. mental illness is interesting huh #txt