#gentle parenting

[forestpixies]

no actually you’re either gentle parenting your child or you’re being emotionally and/or physically abusive to them, whether or not you’re aware of that.

because the term gentle parenting already includes discipline and teaching your kid right from wrong. gentle parenting doesn’t mean you can’t tell your kid no. it means you can tell them no when they do something they shouldn’t, but instead of punishing or yelling at them, you’re explaining and giving them reasons why they can’t do that, you are helping them learn and encouraging them to be better. gentle parenting means you’re using reasons built on mutual respect instead of anger. because yes, no matter how young your child is, they deserve respect too.

I’m sorry but most of the times when someone says they’re a strict parent, what it means is that they give their child childhood trauma that’ll last a lifetime, whether or not they’re aware of it. especially parents who brag to other people about how strict they are and how they punished their children.

and I’m sorry but saying you have a short temper is never an excuse to be emotionally and/or physically abusive towards your kid either.

“I yelled at you because I have a short temper” then why am I the one suffering? if you can’t control your anger, then get help. work on it. do better. be better.

also… your child standing up for themself against you, when you’re being abusive to them, isn’t them being disrespectful towards you. it means they are defending themself because you wouldn’t do that for them and so they had to step in and be their own protector.

if you’re a parent and can defend and stand up for yourself when you feel like you need to, but at the same time punish your kid when they stand up for themself against you, then you are the problem.

I was that child and I’m gonna make it as simple as I can for any parent out there — because no kid deserves to go through what I went through — imagine yourself owning a dog. really. you can either

a.) beat that dog whenever they do something wrong and simply take your anger out on them until they’re fully submissive and are terrified of you

or

b.) train them with love and gentleness and earn their love and loyalty in return

now imagine both A and B dogs on leashes and imagine them no longer being on leashes one day. which dog do you think will run away as far as they can and never look back, and which one do you think will stay because they love and want to be with their owner?

#parenting #parenting guide #how to parent #mental health #parenting advice #mental health support #gentle parenting #mental health awareness #life coaching #life lessons #mental health advocate #motherhood #fatherhood #childhealth #parent #parents #signal boost #childhood #how to be a parent #life choices #important

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

#talkin #tik tok #parenting #gentle parenting #5k #10k #15k #20k #25k #30k #35k

[audhdnight]

Spanking is to parenting what prisons are to criminal justice. Allow me to elaborate:

What does spanking do? “It teaches kids to behave!” Actually, no. It teaches kids to fear their caregiver(s). But say we go with that line. How does spanking teach kids to behave? “It shows them the consequences of bad actions!” Actually, no. It shows kids that when the caregiver is displeased, the kid gets hurt. In the mind of the child, the sequence of events is not [misbehave:consequence]. It is [caregiver unhappy:pain]. And maybe you’ll say “But my kid stopped mouthing off after I started spanking them for it”. Okay, sure. Maybe they stopped responding when you argue, but only because the learned to fear what their response would bring. They’re not holding their tongue because they realized it’s disrespectful or rude or whatever else you believe it is. They’re holding their tongue because they know it won’t do any good and will only make the situation worse for them. I can guarantee they are still thinking all those rebellious naughty talk-backy thoughts. They just aren’t saying them out loud. Spanking did not teach your child to behave, it taught them to walk on eggshells.

Similarly, prisons do absolutely nothing to enforce laws. Prisons do nothing to fix the real crimes that do get committed. A shooter or rapist or embezzler being incarcerated does not bring their victim back to life, un-traumatize them, or make reparations for any damages. Additionally, it makes life a living hell for the innocent people who end up in jail (OF WHICH THERE ARE A HELL OF A LOT). And maybe you might say that the point of prison is to encourage good behavior, because no one wants to go to jail. I would ask, then, why there are so many prisons, of which so many are full or overcrowded. Clearly, the threat of incarceration is not keeping people out of jail. Additionally, much like a child who was spanked being afraid to do normal things in their own home for fear of displeasing their caregiver, regular non-criminal people are afraid of prison, even though they have done nothing wrong. They know they could be incarcerated because of falsified evidence, biased testimonies, unfair trial, or simply bigotry. Especially people of color. Even though they haven’t done anything wrong, they are scared of what could happen to them if the person in power (police) was unhappy with them.

Negative consequences unrelated to the actual incident do not discourage “bad behavior”. Just like a child who is spanked will simply learn to be sneakier, a thief who goes to jail will simply cover their tracks better next time.

Stop spanking your kids, and abolish prisons. Have a nice day.

#gentle parenting #criminal justice system #prison abolition #police brutality #parenting #corporal punishment #prison system #child abuse #don’t hit your fucking kids

[cooki3face]

You don’t teach your children not to hit people by hitting them.

You don’t teach your children not to scream by screaming at them.

You don’t teach your children to be respectful by disrespecting them.

You don’t teach your children how to do anything by subjecting them to physical, emotional, or verbal abuse as a form of discipline.

The type of parents you have makes all the difference and when someone has good and secure parents and comes from a loving and safe home it eliminates them having to suffer from trauma built up in a place that’s meant to be safe for them and inflicting that same pain on others. I hope that this generation grows up to be better parents and heals from the things our parents have done to them.

#self care #self love #self improvement #self discovery #healingjourney #self healing #healing #trauma #gentle parenting #parenting problems #parenting #abuse recovery #child abuse #bad parenting

[violentviolette]

genuine protip for free therapy that works, start following "gentle parenting" accounts that discuss the ways they are raising their children and the healthy coping mechanisms and communication they're teaching and then use those techniques on urself. passively consume that content at random moments all throughout ur day. genuinely surround urself with it so that ur encountering it daily, multiple times a day, till those thought processes become second nature think of urself as both the parent and the child. use ur rational adult mindset to learn and internalize these new mindsets and teachings when ur not in distress, and then in moments when u are upset or distressed, parent urself through them. mimic and emulate these parents and speak to urself with the same compassion, patience, and understanding that they speak to their children with

for people with cluster b disorders, we did not have healthy childhoods. we did not grow up learning these messages and being treated with kindness and respect and compassion. we were not given the tools we needed to emotionally navigate the world in a healthy way. but that doesnt mean we cant learn it now. be the parent that u did not have. take care of urself and ur emotions the way they should have been handled

i promise it will make a huge world of difference. it might seem silly at first, or might make u angry and upset seeing people being treated in ways u wish u were, or it even might seem stupid and like it will never work. those are all valid things to feel during the process, but try and stick with it and keep consuming that content and eventually those messages will really sink in and start making a difference

#jack.speaks #cluster b #cluster b pd #cluster b personality disorder #aspd #npd #bpd #hpd #gentle parenting

[punkstylerecovery]

I love folks complaining about "gentle parenting" and blaming it on kids "being out of control" because not only could that mean anything from "a kid stood up to me and set boundaries like the human being they are" to "a kid i was babysitting screamed at me and threw a can at me because i said no to buying them something really expensive" but it also shows me that they know nothing about gentle parenting or parenting at all. One of those is a sign of good (or perhaps "gentle") parenting. One of those is probably a sign of neglect.

When I see folks complaining about kids on the internet these days and blaming it on "gentle parenting", so often they're just talking about clearly neglected kids and it's because so many folks don't know what parenting is without violence. You tack on "gentle" and automatically they assume you're doing nothing at all and letting the kid do whatever because parenting means some type of hurt to them and "gentle" negates that.

It's so sad that so many people can't imagine parenting without hurt. It's so sad people feel the need to tack "gentle" onto parenting to teach people how to parent properly because they don't know how to get people to separate parenting from hurt in their minds otherwise. It's so sad that so many people STILL can't do it.

I'm glad to see the folks speaking out against it if only because it says a lot about their characters and about the people who agree. But also don't get me wrong, I'm really glad about all the folks who use these parenting skills for kids. I'm really glad for all the people using these skills as well as those teaching other people and unlearning all this bullshit. I can already see their (our?) impact and I think it'll only grow more beautiful as it goes on.

It brings me hope.

#parenting #gentle parenting #child abuse #neglect #parental neglect #abuse mention #ok to reblog #punkstyle #youth liberation #id love anyone elses thoughts on this #child abuse mention?

[martabak-man]

#tiktok #funny #skit #trump #donald trump #gentle parenting #current events #usa #us politics

[imthebentley]

Ineffable Parents

// OOC a sec. I know it's a lot of ifs: but what if they were parents and what if their children were the Bookshop and the Bentley and what if they were child shaped - what then?//

#one would assume the tapes are NOT queen. #ineffable parents #ineffable family #the bentley #good omens #gentle parenting

[missmonsters2]

you ever feel like you need to gentle parent yourself mentally?

"Hey, you're almost there. Just get this over with and then you can go home and do whatever you'd like."

"I know you want to eat pizza, but you need to have *some* healthy meals. Finish off your groceries and then you can order pizza for the weekend <3"

"Yeah...yeah I know it's tough kiddo, but it's gonna be okay. Just take a deep breath."

#adulting is hard and i am tired!!!!!!!!! #self-soothing looks like this!! #text post #gentle parenting #except on yourself

[darthyourmomgay]

Hera, babes why are you bringing your child into a war zone?????

#slay queen #gentle parenting #star wars memes #star wars #star wars rebels #ahsoka #ahsoka spoilers

[dyingroses]

#parenting #evolution #advice #gentle parenting #tiktoks #tiktok

[globalriseofblackpeople]

Gentle parenting is not about talking soft and being a pushover . It’s about understanding child development. Helping and guide them to learn . It’s about being in control of your emotions and parenting .

#gentle parenting #parenting #black parents #parent #black power #knowledge #black family #black mothers #black fathers

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

Spolier Alert: There were some moments, but she, in fact, did NOT act a fool.

#talkin #tik tok #babies #black parents #black parenting #gentle parenting

[us-the-voices-and-more-voices-2]

when I get older I'm using creepypasta's to parent my kids in relation to internet safety.

like "honey, you can't go on the internet without me Jeff the killer might snatch you through the computer screen"

and "don't tell people your real name or where you live darling, because slenderman will appear and turn your brains to mush with his static powers"

also "don't download random things off the internet from places you don't know are safe, because they have evil ghosts in them like ben drowned and you don't want evil ghosts that trap you in your computer do you?"

like please, it's such a good idea.

#-pop #parenting #gentle parenting #internet folklore #creepypastas

[cooki3face]

People wonder all the time where they went wrong with their children, they think how do i teach my children to be kind people, to be pure-hearted, and to be able to make decisions about who they want to be or what they want to do within their lifetime. And I believe a whole lot of that comes down to letting your child express themselves in ways in which they please while continuing to remind them to be kind. People teach their children to be “kind” with the expectation of receiving something from someone else, with punishment, etc.

Something someone said that stuck out to me was that children and people should never be forced to share because they’ll get in trouble if they don’t or because someone else will react to them harshly for not sharing. What’s theirs is theirs. Sharing should be out of the kindness of one’s heart, because you care for someone, because you respect someone, because you love someone, because you respect yourself and so you carry yourself as someone who does. And I think that really matters and makes a difference. You’re not teaching your children to be “nice” in a performative manner to meet other people’s expectations or for superficial rewards or reactions because then they’ll probably grow up to not be so nice or they’ll grow up to put themselves on the back burner in the name of others and bring themselves harm. You’re teaching your children to be KIND because they are genuine…good and honest people, and they respect others, they respect themselves and they act accordingly.

It is the same as your child is not obedient because he/she respects and loves you your child is obedient because they fear you and are afraid of what you will do if they make mistakes or aren’t obedient all of the time.

Raise your children genuinely, teach them to do things the right way, so they may grow up to be good people. Not for temporary fixes or to appease others in superficial ways.

#healingjourney #self healing #inner child #childhood healing #childhood trauma #parenting #gentle parenting #bad parenting #parenting problems

[audhdnight]

On the topic of gentle parenting (I’ve said all this before but not here and it bears repeating anyway) the counter argument of “well I would gentle parent if it worked but try that with my kid and you’ll see they don’t care” is so asinine

Like you wouldn’t sit a six year old down with their first primer and then expect them to be able to read fluently from that day forward. You wouldn’t only take your child to ONE swim lesson and then be done for the rest of the summer. You wouldn’t expect your dog to follow the “sit” or “shake” commands after one day of training. This is just not how learning works.

So yes, after one single instance where you tried gentle parenting techniques, your child is not going to respond automatically. That’s why we teach. That’s why we keep doing it, over and over, until they learn.

I used to nanny for a family of twelve. My main responsibilities were taking care of the four youngest - three little boys and an eleven year old girl. Every single one of them was rowdy and loud and over-energetic all the time - the exact kinds of kids I usually see described as “demon spawn”. The boys were pretty easy to calm down, but the girl had a mean streak and she liked to cause problems.

It didn’t take me long to realize why, though. Her brothers were the babies of the family, and they were used to getting all the love and toys and granted desires they could want. By contrast, she was usually overlooked. All of the times she came and wrecked a board game I was playing with the boys, or the times she unplugged the tv so we couldn’t watch the movie she didn’t like, or the times she ran screaming in circles around the room because her baby brother was crying and my focus was on him - it all made sense.

And so the next time she came and tried to ruin our game, I told her calmly that if she wanted my attention that was okay and I was happy to give it to her, but she wasn’t allowed to be mean to her brothers to get it. If she wanted to play a game with me one on one, all she had to do was pick one out and ask.

This girl, who was normally angry and weepy and refused to listen to any kind of reason, looked like her entire world had just flipped inside out. She dropped the board game piece she’d taken, turned around, and walked out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she was back with a bag of Uno cards, hanging her head and asking me quietly if I would please play with her.

That was one of our best moments. Yes, she was still prone to tantrums and lashing out. No, things weren’t always perfect after that. But seriously, most of the time “bad” kids are genuinely just starved for something - attention, instruction, validation, or even just some damn peace and quiet (which none of these kids ever got having ten siblings). You’d be amazed how far a loving word and a firm boundary can go for any kid. Especially when they rarely get those things at home.

#kid stuff #gentle parenting #temper tantrums #parenting #emotional maturity #emotional regulation