You ain't got time for me right now
I hope you're missing me by now
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if you work out only this much, you won't feel too tired during the day or the day after.
oh, but instead you lose motivation to live
– Lee Know
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15 YEARS OF THE MENTALIST Day 1 : Songs
"I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone, trying to find the one where I went wrong, writing letters, addressed to the fire"
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I’m going to do it. I’m gonna ask for help from my mom. I forced myself to. I att3pted again tonight and ofc it didn’t work cause I’m still here, but my arm is all cvt to hell (not beans, but mostly light/deep styros ALL over). And I freak out when I get too hot so I’m going to HAVE to have a talk with her soon so she doesn’t freak out when she sees my arm. So I’ve got a rough draft for a letter for her after she gets home from work. It covers everything I’ve been hiding or lying about. It covers my cvtting, my sv1c1d3 att3mpts, the fact that my bullying was also physical, the fact I got s3xually a$sault3d multiple times by multiple people, my trans-ness, my eating disorder, my depression, why I didn’t ask for or get help, the fact I’m not a Christian, everything. And it asks over and over again for help. I want help for it all. I want to get better. And I’m asking for help. I know I’ll probably be forced to stop cvtting and st@rv1ng, but I’m willing to trade that off for genuine help.
Update: I got send to a mental hospital
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Louis at the Monaco Grand Prix 05/28/16
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I've said it before but Sora's arc was so important to me as a queer person who's parents have never been accepting and most likely never will be. Cole's true potential arc episode was great as a general queer coming out allegory but I can't really see myself in it because he has that love and acceptance from his father that I've never had. Sora's parents being the way they are, asking her to come back, to be their daughter, calling her by her deadname, and then her asserting herself as SORA. And that being the catalyst for her true potential. That full acceptance of herself, regardless of what her parents want. Embracing her found family who actually care about who she really is. That spoke to me. That hit hard.
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im pro recovery in the sense that i think its a good thing but im not boutta like force people to recover because that just doesnt work and at the end of the day it is your body you do have the right to hurt it if you want to
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Louis at Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. 06/01/23
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