#and SO EXCITED to catch up on everyones works

[yanderes-galore]

I gots more, can you do Yuji (and/or Gojo) with a darling from the real world? Or like he’s self aware?

My favorite way to write self-aware show characters is to write an entity that acts just like them. Similar to an Analog Horror I've seen (Forgot the name but if you want it, I can hunt it down) So for this, that's kinda the plot I'm working with if that's okay. So like... a Creepypasta-like thing if that's fine.

So, the plot is similar to something I've done in the past for both: You buy a DVD of JJK... but something isn't quite right as you soon learn. No plot spoilers here for JJK. Purely an AU.

Feedback is appreciated as long as it's constructive! I could probably do this with other characters if I was given ideas. Both ideas start the same but begin to differ later.

Yandere Self-Aware! Yuji Itadori + Satoru Gojo

(Analog AU - An Experimental Name?)

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, "Self-Aware" yandere, Analog AU (?), Stalking, Overprotective behavior, Unrequited feelings, Delusional behavior, Kidnapping, Possessive behavior, Forced relationship.

Yuji Itadori

Yuji Itadori is your favorite character from Jujutsu Kaisen.

There's just something about his resolve and ability to find happiness despite his situation that makes you fond of him.

It's all harmless fun for you, everyone has a favorite character after all.

Although... unlike most... it appears you've been caught in something you weren't expecting.

The DVD you bought off online didn't have the best packaging... but DVDs that aren't official tend to have bootleg packaging.

You just couldn't afford a streaming service and wanted to binge the two seasons of JJK they have out.

It seemed harmless enough, who hasn't pirated or purchased a pirated DVD at some point without knowing.

Even when you watched the DVD, everything seemed the same.

You were completely unaware of something lurking deep within.

This entity, now given the name Yuji Itadori, was awoken and given life when you used the DVD.

It could sense your fondness for the character and took the likeness of him.

Everything from appearance, personality, and mannerisms was copied as the entity took a new life.

Eventually they felt they were the character and felt every bit of fondness you had for them.

That's how "Yuji Itadori" came into being.

It's when this transfer is complete that things start to alter.

It's like the DVD opens an alternate universe, one where the events of JJK are part of their very own world.

Yuji originally believed everything was real.

This was his life... until he felt your presence.

At first he's in denial, not liking the idea of being trapped somewhere.

But then he sees you.

You are someone he can't reach, someone beyond a screen he can only look at.

While you watch the events of JJK play out on your little DVD, Yuji watches you.

It's a bit ironic, until he grows strong enough and more aware, the show character watches you just as invested as you are.

Yuji can't help but fall into a delusional sense of love and care for you.

He can't help but be excited whenever he catches glimpses of you.

His obsession is vague, as he is just now learning about his love for you.

He feels he wants to protect you, yet expresses frustration when he can only watch you from a clear barrier.

You can pick up on his self-aware behavior, things like glances, waves, and times where he says your name when other characters aren't looking.

The change is slow for him, but quick for you.

His feelings and growth continues through the episodes, the time feeling like months or years for him but hours for you.

Half way through the show you notice Yuji's behavior.

You're frightened at first, but maybe a morbid curiosity fills you?

This begins with you two properly communicating.

Certain plot points are paused or lengthened all so Yuji can speak with you.

It's so strange... like you're actually speaking to a human being.

Yuji is always very affectionate when speaking with you.

Often calling you nicknames, asking questions, and providing comfort after long days.

You see him as your little digital companion, while Yuji sees you as a lot more than that.

He's the only one aware of you, the other characters seem more like puppets to Yuji so he can play a story for you.

He likes seeing you happy and does whatever he can to make you smile.

Darker behavior manifests later as Yuji begins to realize he... isn't a big part of your life.

Through the screen he can see you have friends, family, everything.

You're the biggest part of his world, but he's the smallest part of yours.

As this DVD has supernatural capabilities (clearly), perhaps Yuji would pull you into his world once he fears he can lose you.

The next time you get to watch JJK, Yuji greets you.

"Hey! I've been preparing a surprise for you..."

Curious, you go to ask what it is...

Only to pass out.

By the time you wake up, you're not in your world anymore.

You wake up in a dorm, clearly not your room.

As you wake up, you jump back when you see Yuji kneeling beside you.

"Great! It did work!" He chirps happily, eyes closed with a smile on his face.

You go to ask what happened, only for Yuji to hold your hands.

"I brought you to my world! You mean a lot to me... plus, here I can shape this world to anything you want."

Yuji pulls you closer, closer to the point you can see a red glint in his eyes.

"I love you... and I just want to make you happy." Yuji vows, the confession innocent despite the situation.

"We'll make this our own little world."

"I want to go home!" You cry, confusing Yuji.

"Why would you ever want to leave...?"

Yuji asks, pulling you close.

"You'll be so happy here..." Yuji murmurs, eyes giving off a dull red glow.

"You won't ever want to leave... you won't ever leave me again."

From that point on, you live in an artificial world.

You and Yuji are the only ones "real" here.

Now he's the most important thing in your life, just like you are to him.

Satoru Gojo

Satoru Gojo is your favorite character from Jujutsu Kaisen.

There's just something about his playful/cocky attitude and perhaps even his looks that makes you fond of him.

It's all harmless fun for you, everyone has a favorite character after all.

Although... unlike most... it appears you've been caught in something you weren't expecting.

The DVD you bought online didn't have the best packaging... but DVDs that aren't official tend to have bootleg packaging.

You just couldn't afford a streaming service and wanted to binge the two seasons of JJK they have out.

It seemed harmless enough, who hasn't pirated or purchased a pirated DVD at some point without knowing.

Even when you watched the DVD, everything seemed the same.

You were completely unaware of something lurking deep within.

This entity, now given the name Satoru Gojo, was awoken and given life when you used the DVD.

It could sense your fondness for the character and took the likeness of him.

Everything from appearance, personality, and mannerisms was copied as the entity took a new life.

Eventually they felt they were the character and felt every bit of fondness you had for them.

That's how "Satoru Gojo" came into being.

It's when this transfer is complete that things start to alter.

It's like the DVD opens an alternate universe, one where the events of JJK are part of their very own world.

Due to how Gojo is, he'll probably learn that his world isn't real faster than Yuji.

He'll learn that things aren't as they seem, that those around him are merely puppets for him to use.

At first he's a bit hurt... yet now he's curious.

He only gets more intrigued when he learns of your presence.

While you watch him through the screen, he watches you.

You always look so happy when he plays his part on screen, playing his role through the events of his world.

Gojo still plays along, even as he grows increasingly obsessive about you.

He just knows you two are different.

It only annoys him when he's kept from you by a clear barrier, looking at you through your TV or monitor as you watch him.

He's strong... but not strong enough to have you, it seems.

To him, it feels like his obsession has gone on for years.

For you? It feels like hours.

You're just happy to watch one of your favorite shows...

Completely unaware of your favorite character fantasizing about finally meeting you.

That is until Gojo decides enough is enough... and makes his presence known.

"Oi! Can you hear me?"

He makes contact with you by pausing events in the story and waving to the screen.

Maybe similar to the Yuji portion you're overcome with morbid curiosity more than fear.

Which leads to you feeding into Gojo's obsession by speaking with him.

Due to having his world under his control, Gojo's capable of pausing or slowing down events in the story to speak with you.

He alters things to entertain you and often speaks to you.

You end up spending more time speaking to him than watching the show normally.

You learn that Gojo is very playful with you.

He often waves, makes heart shapes with his hands, and winks at you.

He likes to say your name to mess with you and does his best to press himself closer to the screen so you can touch it.

It disturbs you that the screen is often... warm when he touches it.

Gojo's usually always playful with you until he begins to realize the truth.

He loves you, more than anything he loves you.

His little world would feel lonely without you.

His whole purpose is to entertain you, to make a good story for you and keep you company.

He lives for you.

Yet he notices you have others around you...

You have friends, family, perhaps even a lover.

He's only a little part of your life... and it upsets him greatly.

Gojo tries to hide his hurt from you as he watches you chat with others.

He wants nothing more than to have you all to himself in this little world of his...

When he grows stronger... he can.

It's ironic for Gojo to need to be "stronger".

In his world, he's the strongest.

Yet he takes time to grow more in order to have you.

He won't have to worry about your lover or anyone afterwards.

"I have something to show you~!"

His voice is in a purr when you go to speak with him again.

"Here's my gift... you know I just want to make you happy..."

You begin to feel woozy, slumping over.

"You know I just want to make you mine."

By the time you wake up, you're in a room you don't recognize.

Only for Gojo to show up with a grin.

"Yo!" He chirps, ignoring the fear in your eyes. "I did pretty good, right? You're in my world now... but I can change anything I want to make it the best for you."

He's so giddy about having you beside him.

In here, he doesn't have to worry about those close to you.

He has everything under control... and you in his arms.

"What's with the look? Come on, where's my hug?" He pouts, pulling you against him even if you struggle.

"You'll get used to it..." Gojo whispers, a kiss placed on your forehead.

"I exist to please you..." Gojo whispers, kissing your cheek.

"This is our world now... I'll never let you leave me now that I've got you."

#yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere self-aware au #yandere yuji itadori #yandere gojo satoru #yandere analog au

[ofstardustanddreaming]

dating you

preference summary: what dating them is like.

content warnings: none

fandom: jujutsu kaisen

characters: gojo, choso, nanami

gender neutral reader

anon request

Satoru Gojo: Dating Gojo is dating someone who's emotionally closed off initially. He's there wanting to get to know you, but it takes several months before he's emotionally available to start letting you in that way. But he's also someone who breaths a sense of adventure into your life. Whether you're someone who takes risks or not, he'll bring out some new area of risk taking you never knew you had. He pushes you out of your comfort zone slightly, taking you on date nights with the new things he'd like to do, even if it's just trying the new bakery down the street. He loves spoiling you the further into your dating life, with his love and his money. You're not in the relationship for his money, something you stressfully tell him all the time, but he always reassures you that he loves spending his money on you. He almost wishes that you were able to catch his soft smile when he spends money on something you were always excited to have, but still loving watching your face light up with happiness when he gives you the gift. You also draw out the quiet side in him, allowing him the space of another person to take deep breaths and relax, allowing the loudness in his mind to finally quiet down. Dating him is like embers in a fire, sparking with romance and thrilling love, but able to have moments of calm between those thrilling adventures.

Choso Kamo: Choso is one of the sweetest of sweetest people around, dating him is like surrounding yourself with love. He's a quiet lover, with a tendency to follow your lead with romance and dating. He puts in effort though when he gets the hang of the dating world. He treats you with the best intentions, he gives his all in making sure you feel loved by him. Dating Choso is the honeymoon phase of the relationship every day for the rest of your life. Sure, you have your rough days and arguments happen, but you'll always come back to the honeymoon phase aspect of your relationship. Choso always thinks of you whenever he's in a store. If he sees something that he thinks you'll like or enjoy, he buys it for you. He memorizes what you like to drink, and he'll pick that up for you as well on his way past a coffee shop. He loves to spend mornings with you cuddling, his favorite way to begin the day. It's his favorite way of spending time with you, curled up and warm under the blankets. It makes it hard to leave in the morning, always feeling bad when he pouts when you move him off you. Dating Choso is like seeing the distant city lights in the evening at the top of the ferris wheel. The peaceful breeze that lingers over your hair and the warm feeling of the person next to you. It's the rush of love every time you're with each other.

Kento Nanami: Oh Kento, the greenest flag of all men around. Dating him is being seen, seen in such a way that feels so intimate, intimate with only a few months into the relationship. You can feel safe around him, and he's willing to take things slow if that's what you'd like. He takes dating at your pace, listening to what you need and want in a relationship. He just asks to be treated with the same respect. Dating him feels comfortable, not in the way that's terrifying either. It's the safety that means you can see a future with him. You are both easy going lovers, meeting in the middle to figure out what to do for dates. He's someone who loves scheduling a designated day and time for every week, ensuring that date and time worked for the both of you. He loves taking you to a romantic restaurant, loving when you guys get to the point of being regulars there. (And yes, everyone swoons when the see how you treat each other, seeing the love in one another's eyes.) But he's also willing to try something new, as long as it's with you. Dating Nanami is like the fresh scent of coffee in the morning, filling your nostrils with the scent of familiarity. Comfort in the romance and love of one another, always knowing how each other takes coffee in the morning, and rushing in the morning to make the other the coffee.

#jjk #jjk preference #jjk x reader #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen preference #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagine #gojo #gojo preference #gojo x reader #gojo imagine #choso #choso imagine #choso x reader #choso preference #nanami #nanami imagine #nanami x reader #nanami preference

[eightballspins]

(〃ω〃) soul reuniting with his streamer bf

pairing : soul (p1harmony) x male reader

warnings: none :)) oh wait, reader is japanese - speaks japanese and a lil korean - but other than that theres no physical description being described so i hope it still is relatable (he had to b japanese for the plot ‼️)

rating : just fluffy pining and subtle (not so subtle) clingyness from shota <3 abrupt ending (?) a lil bit, sawrryyy

-> pt. 1 , maybe a short series because i feel this is just too cute + i feel like this was written rlly messy so pls excuse that and just look at how cute soul is pls.

wk : 4.1k+

the two of you met way before he even became a trainee and stayed close throughout his whole journey. being one of the few people he kept close from his hometown, he is always eager to talk to you and catch up — even if you guys are now very far from each other.

while he pursued his dream of becoming an idol, you were working towards your own, which was to become a popular streamer. with how oversaturated the market is, it took you quite a while to make a name for yourself. luckily, you had a strong support system in shota and the loved ones surrounding you. and all the hard work and effort you put into this dream eventually paid off, in two years time you were a well known name in the gaming community, not just in japan, but internationally.

shota liked tuning into your streams whenever he could, playing them around the dorm and watching them at full volume as he was entranced completely by you. the members wondered why he would be so invested in your streams, beginning to recognize your face from how often shota would watch, but did not know how deep your relationship with the boy was.

he kept his love life a secret from everyone, including the members, to play it safe. he was still young and even though he knew how much he loved you, he doubted he would be able to convince those around him how serious this relationship was for him and they’d just end up forcing a break up to happen between you two. he knew he could trust the members to not be completely doubtful of his relationship, but he still didn’t really see a rush in telling them.

meanwhile, since they thought that he was just watching some random dude streaming, they didn’t pester him about it, noticing that you were japanese and immediately marking it up to shota finding some sort of comfort to his homesickness.

“sho, guess what?”

he immediately made a face at the question, making you laugh at his suspicions.

“what?” he asked, wondering what had you so smiley. naturally, it made him smile in return, ear to ear with his eyes crinkling at the ends.

you didn’t say anything, instead showing him the plane ticket that was in your hand, as well as the passport that was accompanying it. he leaned forward to the phone screen, eyes comically blowing wide as he physically jumped into the air.

“oh my god!” he exclaimed in english, making his members snap their head in his direction at the sudden screech. he began giggling like a kid, running in place to physically get out all of his emotions of excitement and anticipation. “are you serious? are you really coming?!”

the members looked at each other in confusion, wondering if any of them could translate what he was saying from japanese to korean. then they watched in even more confusion with the way he threw himself into his room and shutting the door behind him rather excitedly.

“yep! my flight is in thirty minutes, i’ll be there in, hm, 3 or 4 hours?” you grinned, trying to be mindful of your volume as people were beginning to stare at you for your excited whispers to your phone.

“[name]! you’re really coming?!” he repeated again, throwing himself onto his bed and hugging one of the stuffed plushies you had bought him. “are you really coming?”

“yes, shota! why else would i be at the airport?” you laughed, spinning the camera around to show your surroundings, “i think i might have to hang up soon though, the people are starting to whisper about me,”

“no, no, stay on the phone until your plane leaves! promise, i’ll be quiet,” he pleads, looking at you with nothing but adoration and love, hugging the plushie tight as he imagined it were you instead. well, it would be in a couple of hours, which he found to be unbelievable.

“hm, ok, ok, until the plane leaves then,” you agree, nodding and internally cooing at how cute your boyfriend is, “what should we do when i get there?”

“eat! eat!” he chants, “then shopping? we have to get you some souvenirs. wait, how long are you going to be staying? do you already have a hotel? maybe the managers will let me have you stay in the dorm-”

his rambles continued on beyond that, the words leaving his lips before he could realize. but you simply let him go on, smiling at the animated expressions he was using while he talked and how audibly excited he was at your surprise visit.

“no, no, don’t, i already have a hotel booked, it should be pretty close to your dorm…if i was understanding the directions correctly when i booked,” you commented, crossing your fingers for shota to see, “my korean still isn’t the best, but i’ve been studying for a long time,”

“it’s probably better than mine,” he comforts, making you frown at his comment. he raises his hand in defense, swiftly apologizing for the slight self-deprecation.

“i’ll be there for about a month? i didn’t know your exact schedule, so i wanted to stay for a while in case it overlapped-”

“we already finished promoting for our recent song, so we don’t really have anything scheduled — besides morning and afternoon practices and lessons,” shota explained truthfully, grin widening as he realized he’d actually get to spend a lot of time with you.

“then, that’s perfe-”

you were cut off as there was an announcement made for you flight, making it known that boarding was beginning. shota frowned at the news, but reminded himself he’d finally get to see you in person in a few hours.

“i’ll see you soon, sho! promise the time will go by like this,” you snapped your fingers, making shota anxiously-excitedly toy with the soft fabric of the plushie.

“bye, i love you,” he says quickly, waving his hand towards the camera.

“i love you too, shota, i can’t wait to see you again!”

a blush is present on both of your faces at the farewell, but thankfully the camera doesn’t properly pick it up. you hang up after a couple seconds of waving bye, making shota turn onto his bed with a dreamlike look on his face.

in a split second, he’s turning over onto his stomach and making all sorts of noises into the thick mattress below him and ruining the neatness of his sheets as he flails around in bed. he thinks about how this would be the first time in about six years you two would see each other. and he gets all flustered at the idea, wondering how you have changed — how he’s changed and how you would react to it.

you’ve talked almost every single night since he’s left japan, but facetimes and phone calls can’t compare to the real thing. and he now feels nervous, butterflies in his stomach as he continues kicking into the bed.

“soul? what are you doing?” jongseob asked, peering into the room with a confused look on his face.

he stills in his actions, looking up from the pillow at his close friend and weakly replying, “boyfriend is coming.”

jongseob blinks several times before repeating what soul said, in a loud, shocked tone, “your what?!”

“boyfriend,” shota says, enunciating the syllables, “is coming. here. now.”

“what?! since when did you have a boyfriend?!”

“a what?!”

now the other members are barging into the room and surrounding soul, who’s still in a panic over how you’ll react to seeing him in person for the first time. keeho takes a seat next to him, placing both of his hands on his shoulders, “repeat what you told jongseob,”

getting tired of the entire interviewing process, shota speaks in a clear, definitive tone, “my boyfriend from japan is coming here, now. he’s on a flight, now!”

there’s silence that falls over everyone, taking in the words.

“well, that’s good, right?” keeho tries looking at the positive side, refusing to question shota further on why he never said anything about having a relationship, instead choosing to be comforting rather than demanding.

“no — well, yeah it is, it is! but what if he doesn’t like me anymore?” shota whispers, feeling himself grow more self conscious as he realizes what he had just said to his members.

“okay well, since we know nothing about him since it’s our first time hearing of him-” jiung slaps keeho on the back of the head, making the leader clear his throat and reword his sentence, “well, we don’t know much about him, but i’m sure him coming all the way here for you is a clear sign that he still likes you, shota,”

he remains silent, fiddling with the rings adorning his fingers. the others watch on, anxious and too shocked to really say anything else. so he shoots up from his bed, grabs his towel, and rushes to the bathroom to shower and freshen up, and also clear his thoughts.

in the newfound silence of the bedroom, they all look at each other.

“shota has a boyfriend?” intak repeats, still not believing the news, “why didn’t he tell us?”

keeho shrugs, that question being the main thing on his mind. he wonders if soul was burdening himself with such a secret for a long time and frowns as he thinks about how there might be more that he’s hiding.

“well, let’s not question him too much about it, if this guy is on a flight right now, that means that he’s gonna be here in a couple of hours. just, pretend that everything is normal, alright?” keeho advises them all, motioning for them to leave the room to give shota privacy when he gets out of the shower.

after the flight that was a little over three hours long, you finally touched ground in south korea. you felt both giddy and nervous over being reunited with your boyfriend after so long, but tried to not focus on the nerves too much. after going through airport security and securing your luggage, you opened an app on your phone, about to call for a taxi to take you to your hotel, but a shadow standing in front of you distracted you.

looking up in confusion, your furrowed brows became relaxed the moment you recognized who it was. it took a couple of seconds considering they were wearing a beanie that covered their hair and a mask.

but you could easily recognize shota’s eyes from a mile away.

he was standing in front of you with a bouqet of flowers proudly in front of him, as well as a plushie keychain of sorts also attached to the bouqet.

“sho-chan!” you cried out, pulling him into a hug immediately, which he reciprocated in a second. the flowers were crushed in between the both of your chests, but neither of you minded. he rocked the two of you back and forth, the mask on his face covering his grin, as he breathed in your scent. “why are you here? what if you get caught?”

“i needed to see you,” he whispered, still holding you so tight it was borderline suffocating. his arms were around your waist as his hands went up and down your back, fingers slightly digging into the fabric of your clothes. as if he were grabbing for you, trying to understand that you really were in front of him.

this wasn’t one of his dreams.

“i missed you so much,” you said, smiling into his chest as he kept running his hands up and down your back. you tried pulling away, but he was pretty adamant in keeping you against him. it took pinching his side with laughter before he could release you. and even then, he still had his arm around your shoulder to keep you close. “so, what are you do-”

“[name]-san! welcome to korea!”

it was a sudden exclamation of pretty off-sounding japanese. you looked behind shota and saw five heavily disguised individuals holding a sign reading the words they had just said, as well as one of them holding flowers.

“what is going on?” you ask, voice breaking into laughter at the awkward scene.

“my members, they wanted to come so that they could say hello to you,” shota explained quickly, “i just told them today, that you were my boyfriend, so i think they were really excited…they seem more excited than i do,”

you watched shota’s reaction carefully, to see if there was any hint of how they took the news, but he was just relaxed and embarrassed of their activities, not at all spiteful or hurt. so you simply smiled, taking his hand in yours and walking forward.

“thank you so much for the warm greeting,” you bow in thanks, taking the flowers from theo, and looking at each of them, “we can just speak in korean, by the way, no need for japanese,”

“yeah, they don’t speak it well anyway, so i doubt you’d be able to understand anything they said,” shota teases in his mother tongue, making you smack him on the chest as a way of scolding him for being so mischievous. but he only smiles wider, grabbing your hand in his and swinging it back and forth. “should we go?”

the rest of the members watch his comfortabilty with you, fond smiles on their faces, before nodding and agreeing that they should leave the airport before someone notices them. shota makes sure to stay close, holding you tight with a grin that he can’t wipe off of his face the entire time.

”so, [name], how did you and soul meet?” keeho asked, closing the door behind him as everyone was settled into the van. you sat at the window seat, shota next to you and jongseob on his other side. the remaining four were sitting in front of you, being able to look at you directly with the way the van’s seats were positioned.

“me and shota have known each other before he even came to korea for training,” you explained carefully, trying to keep the vocabulary simple so you didn’t confuse yourself, “childhood friends,”

“so when did you two starts dating?”

you look at shota, trying to remember the exact amount of time. he giggled quielty, deciding to answer, “i asked him to be my boyfriend a couple of months after our debut,”

the members tried fighting off the look of surprise on their faces, but it was hard when the news was so ground breaking. since debut, soul had been successful in keeping his relationship with you hidden.

“wait — hold on,” intak clapped his hands, pointing a finger at you with shock painted across his face. keeho smacked his pointing finger down in a second, glaring at the third youngest for his behavior, “i know you! i know your face!”

you became bashful, nodding your head at the man’s exclamation.

“wait, intak how do you know him?” jiung asked, confused even more, along with the rest of the members.

out of nowhere, theo was next to shout out, “oh! i know you too! this is crazy!” he said, looking at you and soul with wide eyes, “you never told us he was the one you always watch,”

“guys, what are you talking about?” keeho asked, making theo and intak both shout at the same time: “the streamer soul is always watching!”

shota covers his face in embarassment of his members’ antics while jiung, jongseob, and keeho all make sounds of realization.

“you’re so cool!” keeho says suddenly, also putting two and two together, “me and soul were watching you together one day, you’re really good at game. how did i not recognize you?” the last part was rhetorical, of course, but you simply shook your head in bashfulness.

“wait, this is so cool, soul’s dating him!” jongseob said, grinning ear to ear as he slaps shota’s shoulder several times. then he looks at you with a kind smile, “i watch your streams sometimes, you’re really cool!”

“huh? since when?” soul asked, hearing that piece of news for the first time.

“since i started playing honkai, he’s got good builds,” jongseob shrugs, looking at you with a kind smile, “wow, you look different in person, in a good way!”

shota rolls his eyes at jongseob’s compliment, but you thank him with a genuine smile and nod of your head.

“that’s really nice of you guys, i didn’t know shota would be watching it that frequently,” you said, feeling shy at the fact that these guys have probably all seen you look your worst on streams where you didn’t really care for your appearance.

”he watches you allll the time,” intak adds on, “always on his phone watching you!”

“and with no headphones, it’s at full volume too,” jiung says, briefly scowling at soul before sweetly smiling at you, “i guess he was just so proud that he wanted everyone in the dorm to know,”

shota waves his hand and makes noises to tell them to shut up, but their exposing of him doesn’t end there. they keep telling more and more about his behavior whenever he watched your streams, the entire car ride consisted of that while shota tried getting them to stop.

but you took each thing they said to you with a genuine smile and thankful nod. you were internally relieved that they were all very accepting and not even paying any mind to the fact that you and shota were both boys dating, just treating your relationship like any other — which you appreciated.

the entire car ride was light hearted and full of laughter, plus shota making embarrassed noises whenever they exposed him of his very down bad behavior that they were also piecing together. whenever shota would get particularly embarrassed, he’d hide into your shoulder and whine audibly enough to the point they also began teasing him for that.

finally, the van arrived to their dorm and they quickly explained, “let’s just eat dinner first before you go to your hotel room,” and they all seemed too excited to deny, since you thought that it would have been too burdensome. but with the way they were so eagerly guiding you to the building made you feel too welcomed to refuse.

“we tried cleaning up before you came, so if there’s any mess, please excuse it,” keeho says softly, looking a bit embarassed, but you just shake your head and tell him it was fine. shota is still lingering incredibly close, standing behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist.

“we bought a mix of korean and japanese food, so hopefully you find something you like,” jiung says, motioning for you to take a seat across from him and smiling excitedly at the sight of the food, “everything looks really delicious. i want to try the curry,”

“it smells very good, too,” you comment, the aroma of all the food surrounding you all. they all agreed with moans of pleasure, excited to finally dig in and soon, they were all grabbing their own pair of chopsticks and grabbing pieces of the food.

shota grabbed at least one piece of everything for you, excitedly watching you react to each thing you tasted. his dark eyes were seemingly permanently resting in a crescent position and his cheeks were always raised high due to his smile.

“is it yummy?” he asked after feeding you a spoonful of spicy tofu stew. you nodded with sounds of approval at the food, making the other member chuckle in agreement.

“here, try this one,” shota repeats, holding a piece of an unknown dish to your mouth. his hand is resting underneath it in case he needs to catch it. opening his mouth as he feeds you, eagerly awaiting your reaction once again.

he did this with every dish that was on the table, grinning happily and shaking your hands together every time you enjoyed it. jiung had to physically restrain himself from showing any sign of giddiness at how adorable the two of you were.

“so, what do you have planned while you’re in seoul?” keeho kindly asked.

soul was eagerly waiting for your response wanting to get any hint of anything that the two of you could be doing for the entire month you were together. trying to ignore his adorable eyes planted on you, you looked directly at keeho, “i have a lot of things i want to do and see, like the traditional villages and stuff, but also the other tourist spots…i’ve never been to korea before so i’ll be happy to see anything! i do have some stuff planned with shota, but, i can’t spoil them,”

the boys all nodded in understanding, looking pleased at the information.

“well, if you ever need anything, we’ll all be here for you,”

you thanked them for being so kind and that was the wrap up of your meal. shota was quick in pulling you away, the others not minding that he was skipping out on cleaning up since he was so visibly excited to be with you. he carried you into his shared room with jongseob by your waist, falling onto the mattress with a satisfied sigh.

despite not seeing you for so long, the level of comfortability was not at all forgotten. his awareness of his skin against yours was enough to make him crave it more, burying his head into your neck and tightening his hold around your waist. you laughed at the ticklish sensation, feeling his smile press against your skin.

you rolled over a couple of times until you were in a comfortable position. shota moved up to sit against the wall, letting you sit on his lap with your legs on either side of his, and resting his hands in yours, holding on tight.

“i can’t believe you’re really here,” he sighs, eyes blown wide as he takes the sight of you in, “i missed you so much, [name], you wouldn’t believe it,” his voice is quiet and soft, as if he wants these words to only exist in this moment alone.

his hand gently moves to rest on your cheek and your scared that he’d feel just how hot your skin was from the close proximity and his heartfelt words. but he can only smile at you so fondly, the cool feeling of his rings against your skin calming your racing heart (to an extent).

“always wanted to go back home to you,” he whispers, his other arm moving to wrap around your waist. he leans forward, making your chests meet at the sudden closeness, as well as vice grip around your middle half making you forcefully press against him.

“i missed you too, shota,” it’s soft, but he catches it and he smiles ear to ear at the confession.

“can i kiss you?”

it takes a couple of seconds to process what exactly he had said, but when it finally does click all you can manage is a nod. it’d be your first kiss together, but there wouldn’t be any more perfect of a time than now to have one. reunited after years of being apart, forcing a long distance relationship that you both knew would have sparse amounts of support.

his eyes are trained on yours, until he eventually flutters his eyes shut and leans in for the softest kiss in the world. he squeezes you closer, practically melting into you as he tries so hard to keep your lips on his for as long as possible.

when the two of you have to pull away, he’s already grinning ear to ear with a healthy blush on his face.

“i love you so much, [name],” he gently says.

it’s the easiest thing in the world to reply back, “i love you too, shota,”

┆pt. 2 would probably be more centered around how reader being a streamer acc impacts the plot lmao (like random ass ppl recognizing him on the street - which i think would b rlly funny)

#soul x male reader #x male reader #p1h x male reader #p1harmony x male reader #piwon x male reader #haku shota x male reader #haku shota x reader #shota x male reader #male reader #kpop idol x male reader #p1harmony soul x male reader #p1harmony shota x male reader #p1h imagines #x reader #haku shota imagines #soul imagines #p1h soul x reader #p1h shota x reader #p1h shota x male reader #p1h soul x male reader #male reader imagines

[cemeteryangel725]

Down to the River, a Good Omens Bruce Springsteen AU by CemeteryAngel725 - Chapter 1

This is a story that has been in my head for months, a love letter to Jersey shore culture and the music of Bruce Springsteen! I'll be posting one chapter a day until it's done, so this is going to be an exciting week for me. Can't wait to share this one with all of you! Graphics by me with a font assist from @shipper-of-all-things.

Rated E, Chapter 1/8

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Twenty-five years ago, Tony Crowley walked out of Azi’s life and broke both of their hearts. Since then, Azi has been living in suspended animation, working in the army/navy surplus booth he inherited from his dad and writing horror novels.

Now Tony is back from the city, flush with success and wanting to catch up with Azi. Should Azi risk his heart and try to reclaim what they’ve lost? Or is it too late to start over?

A Good Omens human AU inspired by Bruce Springsteen.

Excerpt from Chapter 1:

It was while he was in front of the table, his back to the shop, absorbed in his work, that he heard it. Soft footfalls stopping just behind him. An intake of breath. And a voice.

“Azi Fell, as I live and breathe.”

He hadn’t heard that voice in twenty-five years. Azi squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly he was eighteen again, mooning over that shock of red hair, those honeyed eyes, that gravelly drawl falling out of a teasing mouth. They had been each other’s worlds once, long ago, and then it had all gone to shit.

He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and turned around.

Much love to everyone over at @goodomensafterdark!

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #good omens fic #aziracrow #good omens fic recs #aziraphale #crowley #writers of after dark #good omens smut

[mishwanders]

LU Time | Fluffy Romantic Alphabet Headcanons

Warnings: n/a, safe for everyone.

Authors Notes: no brain fog today which means writing is getting done! Written by Mishwanders, pls do not repost. Reblogs, nice comments, and likes are appreciated!

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

His forms of affection have changed over the years. Before he would have assumed that affection had to be given out in grandiose gestures, like the kind they always describe in a knight's tale, which even he did feel 100% certain on. It took him a few years to finally find his niche, but once he got there, he showed affection as often as he could when he found a moment with you.

I’m talking about those simple back hugs, where he can wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his chest. Light kisses on your cheek or dancing in the kitchen as he hums a simple tune to a song that he made, just for you.

B = Babe (What would they use as pet names? Do they use them a lot?)

Sweetheart, my love, honey - the basic sweet ones.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?

Yes, he does, but he only feels comfortable to do so when you both are alone and he knows no one will interrupt you two. He’s the type to do front-facing cuddles, where either your head is on his chest and tucked under his chin or his face in your chest with a grip around your waist.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He craves to have a family so badly, it’s PAINFUL! Marry that man and make him a house husband/hj. He’ll keep the place clean, take care of things while you work, but do not ask him to cook. Something will get set on fire or broken if he tries that one.

E = Emotion (How are they with showing emotion in public versus private?)

Emotions can be difficult for him. He tries to hide the difficult ones for the most part, especially when leading the Chain, but has a tendency to fail because he is such an open and honest person. He does have a soft spot with you though and tends to open up more when you’re in private together. Those are the moments he definitely needs a shoulder to lean on, so to speak, so give him a listening ear, it’ll help out a lot.

F = Flirt (How do they flirt? Are they smooth or awkward?)

Mischievous flirt is what he is (that goes for all of them if we’re being honest). He will say and do anything to catch you off guard because he likes to see you blush. He can be a sweet flirt too though, when he wants to be and he’s very smooth with it, practically sweeping you off your feet with his charm.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He can be very gentle, but firm. He doesn’t want you to take his words or physical advances too lightly. He wants you to know how much he cares with every fiber of his being.

However, if you do like it a little bit rough, he’s not one to completely shy away from it. He may hesitate at first, but once he sees that excited look in your eyes, he’s done for and going all in.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves them and he wishes he could give you more of them, but even he knows the armor he’s can be a bit of an issue at times, so he tends to settle with holding your hand or keeping a protective arm around you.

For what types of hugs though - all kinds, because he just likes to keep you in his arms, but his favorites are where he can rest his head on you shoulder and hold you longer. Those are the ones where he can shut his eyes and just enjoy the moment of holding you close.

| = I love you (How fast do they say the L- word?)

Fairly quickly. He wants you to know how he feels about you and won’t beat around the bush about it. Besides, the quicker he rips off that bandaid, the sooner he knows your feelings towards him too and you both can move on from dancing around the subject.

J= Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

Surprisingly tame, honestly. If he trust you completely, he doesn’t see the reason for jealousy.

But if you start to show signs of infidelity, he’s quick to break things off, knowing it’s better to do so than to continue to be hurt further.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Oh he’s got a good handful he likes. He enjoys those secret ones he gets to sneak in, like a kiss on your cheek when he gives you a back hug or one on your forehead for front facing, the soft ones he gets to give on top of your head when you’re leaning against him. It’s so simple, but very effective.

For where he likes to be kissed - he enjoys it when you’re holding him and kiss the soft space on his neck or his shoulder. He becomes absolute jelly in your arms when you gently kiss the shell of his ear.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’s good with children, having been raised around the kokiri and taking care of animals later in his life. He’s still got a lot to learn though with infants and teenagers, but don’t worry, he’ll learn quickly.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Slowly, seeing the sunrise whether through the window or on the porch with a cup of something hot in a mug when he’s home.

Out on the road it’s similar, getting up earlier than the others because he needs a moment of peace and quiet to gather his thoughts, but he doesn’t mind spending it with you if you’re up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

When he’s home He likes to wind the night down by having you in his arms, in bed, talking about whatever crosses your minds.

On the road it’s different, considering your both surrounded with the others, but if you’re seated close to him he’s definitely going to keep and arm lazily around you, with his thumb softly stroking your hip/back/shoulder.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s quite open to questions in general that he can answer, even more so to a romantic partner. All you have to do is ask and he’ll answer.

P = Propose (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He is very committed from the get go and he will tell/express it to you when the moment feels right. He won’t push too hard though if you have a fear of commitment. He can be patient and help you work through it with tender care.

On the marriage side of things, he wouldn’t mind getting married, but it’s also not the end of the world to him if you don’t. What matters more to him is the relationship between you two, not ticking an imaginary box on a list of “things to do”.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tends to remember most things you tell him about yourself and your interest, especially if it’s said in passing. He just has a harder time remembering dates, considering how much the passage of time is just a concept to him. He may need a little help there in that department, so make sure you mark the kitchen calendar for important things.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first exchange of “I love you” was a big one for him and still causes his heart to flutter when he thinks about that adoring look he saw in your eyes, the way you said it in return with such adoring sincerity.

His other favorite moments he likes to remember though are the small ones. Like, I mean the kind where he’s washing dishes and sees the triforce on his hand and remembers the times when you’ve placed a gentle kiss on the triforce of courage, sending his heart a flutter on the spot. It’s those types that get him the most and make him want to go searching for you so he holds you and pepper you in kisses.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He can be very protective before even being provoked by anyone. It’s why on the road he prefers to keep you at his side or close to the middle of the group, just in case there’s an ambush so he can throw himself between you and whose every coming for you or you’d be surrounded by the rest of the group, who also want to make sure you’re safe.

If you do know how to wield a weapon, he’s less guarded, knowing that you can take care of yourself, helping ease his mind a bit. However if you do find yourself getting hurt, he becomes very protective again as your injuries heal.

How he likes to be protected - he’s definitely thankful on the physical aspect if you intercept an arrow or a sword that would have taken him by surprise, but the way he needs to be protected is more on the emotional side of things. He tries his best not to lose his temper, but sometimes he finds it difficult to elaborate on what he’s trying to get across without a display and he’s afraid he’ll mess things up. Let him know you understand and it’ll help ease his temper and help him open up more because he feels safe to confide in you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put

He was definitely the type to try too hard to please in his younger years, but finally found the right groove for him. Now he tends to surprise you with spontaneous dates at home or a picnic in the woods or at the lake. He’ll surprise you with occasional gifts, leaving a flower at your bedside table or with something he’s picked up in castle town thst he knows you’ll like. He more often tries by pitching in to help you

U = Unique (What makes them unique as a partner?)

Well the most obvious one is his experience with time travel and being raised by a tree and the kokiri. That definitely gave him a completely different outlook on the world than most others would get. He sees it for the many layers that it has and tries to respond accordingly to it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s not the most concerned about it, outside of making sure he looks clean (no blood or dirt on the armor) and his hair is parted in the right direction. He will however indulge you if you wish to braid his hair.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He knows the feeling all too well of being alone and feeling incomplete after making friends and losing them, becoming a lost memory to them. When he has you he feels like that empty space in his chest has filled in, having someone that he can confide in and who won’t leave his side.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Fierce Deity can speak to him in his mind and see clearly through Time's scared eye. The deity tends to stay silent, which Time finds it for the better. Time prefers to keep that eye closed for his own sake of privacy unless you address both of them.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

Cowardice for one, but that goes for all of them. The thing he wouldn’t like though is someone who isn’t willing to see the world in a different lense and someone who doesn’t take his story seriously. He can typically shrug it off if it’s from a random stranger, but if it’s a romantic partner, it’ll cut deeper than you expect.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

I’ve played OOT and that man still sleeps on his belly even as an adult. It’s the one habit that hasn’t gone away. He’s also definitely the type to need to keep his touch on you while falling asleep, whether that means he’s got his hand on you or is touching your leg with his foot. It eases him, just knowing that you’re there.

#linked universe #lu time #lu time x reader #linked universe x reader #writing: lu time #sfe

[fwkiera]

Needy 💋

summary: you and perv!leeknow go out to eat with some of his friends. you never thought of doing anything in public but after him not giving you enough attention, you start thinking it could be a good idea.. (everything done wit consent cause consent is hot)

warnings: fingering, public teasing, head (f receiving) car sex, and unprotected p in v (don’t do it) lmk if i missed anything !!

genre: smut

pairings: perv!leeknow x fem reader

a/n: if ur wondering, yes i’m working on the maknae line for “skz reaction to you cuddling them” so don’t worry !!

———————————————————————-

you and minho have already started driving to the spot that him and his friends decided to meet up for dinner so they could catch up. But before you left, you couldn’t help but notice his lack of attention toward you so it just made you feel needy for his touch. Clearly he was doing this on purpose so he could teach you a lesson for teasing him before.

When both of you finally arrive at the destination, you look at him and all you see is lust plastered all over his face, it got you excited. You sat down at the table his friends were at and minho immediately started talking to his friends paying no mind to you at all. Making sure no one could see, your hand glided over his dick as his breath hitched to the sudden touch. You could tell he was getting hard after that and all he was gonna do now is tease you. He glanced at you and he could see you pouting right next to him. you hear something drop, like a fork and he says “oops sorry, i dropped something” the metal hits the floor under the table right in front of you. Slowly he goes under the table, pulls your dress up and licks your clothed cunt. Luckily the table had a long fabric covering it so no one could actually see under. But the slight whimper you made had almost everyone looking at you in confusion. You play it off as a yawn as your boyfriend finally comes up from under the table saying “i found it !” with a slight grin on his face. Minutes pass until you feel minhos hand grip your thigh and inch closer n closer up your leg to touch the thing that’s been aching since he licked it. He starts slowly rubbing and teasing in between your folds as he talks to his friends like nothing is happening between you and him. Then suddenly you feel him push your panties to the side and slowly insert a finger in you. That made you break and honestly that’s all he had to do to make you feel like you were about to finish already ! These continuous thrusts in and out were just too much and your legs started to shake a bit which was a signal to minho that you were about to cum so he quickly pulls his fingers out to then lick the substance off of it. That just made you shudder. you pout n whimper at the loss of touch as he suddenly says to his friends “sorry guys me and y/n have to go, we forgot to feed the cats before we left”. Such a sorry excuse but as long as it works and he gets to have you all to himself then you’re on board. The walk to the car felt so long and when you finally got in the passenger seat, he started driving.

Finally, you arrived at an empty parking lot just minutes away from the restaurant you were just at. “Get in the back.” he demands and of course you follow. As you get into the back seat you feel him right behind you as he pushes you down and continues to close n lock the door. The sudden push was surprising but he quickly wiped the confusion off your face and kisses you, hard. You could feel his boner raging to be let out as it presses on your lower stomach. “since you wanted to be such a brat and not just wait til we got home, we can just do it here yeah ?” those words were enough to get you wetter than you were before as he pulls the dress you had on, off of you. Your eyes were sealed shut but you could hear him unbuckling his pants and letting out his hard on. He didn’t even bother taking your panties off as he slides them to the side again to just slowly insert himself inside of you. “fuck baby, you feel so good.. Just couldn’t wait for this dick huh ?” You whimper and nod to his statement. Much time later when he was finally in, he let you adjust to him and when you gave him the look that you were ready for him to move, he went all out. “yeah just like that, i can feel how tight you are” the moans and sounds filling the room were just unholy. You’re skin slapping together and the wet sounds were just so.. good.. You moan at the thought and you can feel your high coming to you and the knot in your stomach start to form. You can tell that your boyfriend is close too since his pace got sloppy and his breathing is getting heavy. “please please please min, need more” you moan while he starts kissing you. He starts changing the position to get deeper inside of you and you feel him hitting your g spot over and over again. He reached his hand down and runs circles on your clit and that just sends you over the edge and feel the knot in your stomach come undone. “min- minnie, c-cumming” you manage to get out. The moan that you release as you cum makes his follow after you not too long later and you both ride out your high. Both of you were so sweaty and sticky but minho just pulled out a towel and a warm water bottle to pour on you to get you cleaned up. He pulls out slowly letting out a small “fuck.. “ at the sensation, the sensitivity makes you squirm but he holds you down and offers you a cold bottle of water to drink. He had some clean clothes in his trunk just in case something like this happened (which it clearly did) so he gave you one of his shirts and pj pants to change into. He left the panties that you had on before though cause he wanted to have something keeping him inside of you.

The drive back home was quiet but not awkward. His hand and yours intertwined together as music plays in the background. Finally both of you arrive back to your apartment building, him carrying you cause he knows your legs probably hurt and can’t walk up the stairs. You unlock the door for him and you both walk inside, shutting and locking the door behind you as he kicks off his shoes and takes off yours as well. Places you down on the bed getting comfortable with you and cuddles you by his side. In the morning he checks his phone and sees a bunch of messages from the group chat that include

chan: i walked to the store and saw leeknows car sitting in an empty car lot

han: yeah i saw it too and i wanted to make sure he was ok with y/n so i went up close to the window and honestly.. wish i never saw that

hyunjin: i don’t even want to know, i might throw up

jeongin: pls don’t share the information, i’m too young for this

felix: oh wow !!

changbin: oh lord

seungmin: spare the details for us

leeknow: shut up, im tryna sleep with y/n after everything we did last night. She was so amazing n so tight for me it was insane. too bad all of you are single and can’t get pussy !!

jeongin: i didn’t need to know that

han: HEY !! i can get a lot of pussy if i tried

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leeknow laughs and puts his phone down just to pull you closer in his embrace, putting his face in your back and breathing in your scent. Slowly he fell back asleep and woke up hours later to find you changing in front of him. ‘looks like there’s gonna be a round too’ he thought and slowly got up again to start kissing you.

__________________________________________

a/n: THIS TOOK ME N HOUR TO WRITE IM SORRY IF ITS BAD😭😭 i struggled a little cause i’ve never wrote smut before so it was a little challenging 😢 Thank you for reading tho !!

#skz smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #leeknow #minho #smut #fluff #skz fluff #skz texts

[theonlymom]

Stunning View - Chapter 2

by LaudaddySmitten

(GOAD Writers Guild Official)

Ch 2: “In this honeysuckle grove…” Summary

Crowley, still rather off-his-head on laudanum, makes a lovely discovery in their surroundings, and shares it with Aziraphale. There's more to this graveyard (and this demon) than Aziraphale realized.

CW/TW: Canon-typical substance use- laudanum (but NO dub con); Rated Explicit (Eventual smut later chapters)

Excerpt

With a lilt of curiosity which always led Crowley to excitement, (excitement being the only logical thing for curiosity to lead to, after all), he ruminated, “Ooohh I know it, I know this one! It smells…it smells…really sweet and nice, like …well, like you, angel, you always smell really sweet and nice. But I already know what you smell like and this isn't that. So…..”

Crowley squeezed his eyes shut in almost painful concentration. “OH! I know! I have it!” Crowley jabbed a finger in Aziraphale's direction with great finality, and declared confidently, “It's…Whazzitsname!”

Having made himself perfectly clear, Crowley grinned smugly at Aziraphale then proceeded to look for the source of the smell.  Prickly blades of grass needled their way closer to his scalp as he let his head fall rapidly side to side. Unable to really focus on much with head lolling at the speed of laudanum, he stopped when the world began to spin faster than planetary physics allow. Only then did some of the visual input catch up to the processing part of his brain. “Wait, I think I saw it!”

Crowley moved his head more cautiously the second time around and stopped when he found Aziraphale to his right. (That was very distracting. Does Aziraphale know how distracting he is?) Crowley smiled over his glasses, “are you wearing whazzitsname-perfumed soap, Aziraphale?” Aziraphale blushed, and the slate of Crowley’s thoughts wiped itself clean, replacing the previous jumble of scribbles with a perfectly rendered recreation of Aziraphale's irises in which Crowley was swimming. Crowley's singular attention meant he noticed when Aziraphale's eyes drifted out of focus. “Crowley, is it a plant you're talking about?”

Continue reading on AO3

Best beta team! @olfactoryventriloquism @outrageousring5655 @happynachohologram - thanks for beta-ing this chapter more than any reasonable writer should ever request, and for bullying me very nicely convincing me to write that scene.

I hope you like how it all turned out. ❤️

Thanks everyone in the @goodomensafterdark Writer's Guild! Additional Ch 2 betas: @fishey-me @kotias @sixbynine-da @ghst-signal

Amazing custom fanart for my fic:

Thank you @lexarturo

#Stunning View #off my head on laudaddy #science always belongs in fanfiction #the resurrectionists #good omens minisode #good omens 1827 #laudaddy #good omens fanfic #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens aziraphale #good omens crowley #good omens fanart #good omens after dark #romance happens after dark too #in fact this whole fic happens after dark #goad writers community #writers of after dark #goad #my fanfiction #my posts #az fell #anthony j crowley #dr mcfell #edinburgh crowley #ineffablle idiots #botany #carl linnaeus #i will not stop putting science into creative writing #good omens

[swampstew]

Raven is ready to hibernate ~

I'll be queuing up my posts so I'll be active enough but as far as new content goes - its up in the air. I don't think I'll be doing any more events or requests for the year besides current obligations (of which I am SO CLOSE to finishing) and then I am giving my brain a nice lil break. Might update my theme/colors/banners but tbh not sure cause I really like my theme! So many things to consider but for now I need to rest and recharge♥

OC fanfics will be continued next year and there are very exciting developments with that coming!

My other fics will be updated as I feel inspired, so no real expectations or dates for when those will post.

Tumblr posts, I do other things than bedtime stories (such as crappy canva art, POV posts, welcome to the crew, etc) and like everything else, if I feel inspired, I will post.

If and when I have things to share, I will make a little announcement that outlines posting dates and times so no one misses anything, as I've done in the past under the tag #Raven Announces

Thanks for another amazing year on this blog! Please feel free to send me asks or chat me up, I'll still be here♥

#raven announces #ready to dummify my brain and play sdv #one piece fanfiction #swampstew stories #and SO EXCITED to catch up on everyones works

[good-beanswrites]

Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.

I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!

Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).

With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain

Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans

Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.

Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.

Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.

The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.

Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all. 

The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see. 

Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time. 

As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods. 

The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward. 

The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.

Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”

They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.

“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”

Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”

She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”

“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”  

Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”

“I’m working.”

She frowned. “Uh-huh…”

“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.

Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”

“I could look at you…”

Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will. 

They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.

“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”

“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”

Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”

“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”

“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”

“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”

“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly. 

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this. 

At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.

“I’ll play Fuuta.” 

He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.

However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.

They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself. 

With a little jingle, the match began. 

Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.

Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.

“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.

“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”

Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.

The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them. 

They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.

“That was incredible!”

“Holy shit!”

“How’d you do that?”

Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands. 

“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”

Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.

Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.

“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.

#milgram #es #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #mikoto kayano #and everyone else #i always worry it gets too busy with too many characters but i think this works 👍 #thank you for all your kind words!!! i feel like a broken record but it really means so much to me -- #im so happy youre enjoying these as much as i am >:3 #my next one is going to be a bit more serious but it was really fun doing these lighter ones :') #they deserve a night of relaxation and fun! im absolutely obsessed with es' insistence on their duty and solemn attitude #because theyre just a kid! they need a break! theyd get excited and competitive just like anyone else! they should be allowed to! #UGH #i think es and amane are a bit too similar with their struggles with age and being controlled by adults where its harder to get along #but yuno also understands what its like to want to be seen as a responsible mature person despite a younger age #and shed know how best to say things lightly but still meaningfully <3 #yeah i thought about them doing sports or cooking or karaoke but this worked the best #haruka and amane dont have much experience with video games but i think theyd catch on quick #shidou has a lot of fun but he sucks ass LMAO #mahiru also isnt great but even if she was doing good shed let everyone else win to make sure their spirits stay up #im a sucker for writing where a character says something over and over and you just know theyre trying to convince themselves 😂 #someone tell me to stop rambling in the tags and just make a new post for gods sake asdfsdfds #i hope you enjoy! #im late by now but woo happy getting your account set up 👏 welcome to the hellsite... #drabbles

[opens-up-4-nobody]

The way that the sun hits leaves and clouds. I feel like I could watch the colors change forever. If I could slow down for that long.

#i keep forgetting a have a deck now. i can go outside and sit there #im doing that now. sitting in the corner of a deck full of empty chairs. staring up at a big pine tree where the sun is striking it gold #at the top. i like how thr light hits the needles. if the sky was black it would look like its on fire #theres a tree outside my bedroom window too. in the morning. after the sunrises it catches thr light and refelcts the most perfect shade #of green. the kind of green that flutters translucent like youre looking up from the bottom of a pool. the light the light its all about #the sun. everything everything is about the sun. when i start my project I'll be focused on understanding how organisms catch the light bc #its so incredible and complicated it would make my chest swell to bursting if there wasnt an empty bleeding wound in my gut. a #metaphorical wound of course. i dunno. its just difficult bc right now my mood is inflated by hormones. not even that much i think I'm #just at what shoulf be a normal level of happiness so i can be slow for a minute. but just a minute bc i kno it won't last long #sorry i cant shut the fuck up when im like this but i dunno i just feel like i havr to document these ephemeral moments before they're gone #its just difficult when you kno the world is so full of beautiful things but 95% of the time your eyes are too clouded to see it #everyone tells me i work too much but i feel like im just staring off into space being miserable 60% of the time. ive just done so much #damage over the past few years im coming into a new lab as damaged goods. ive got an albatross around my neck in thr form of data i #collected so self destructively that the idea of having anything to do with its publication makes me hate myself. everytime someone tells #me good job on collecting so so so much data it feels like they're congratulating me for breaking something within myself. like i slit my #wrists and bled out on a lab bench and theyre saying good job and theyre excited for me and i have to grin and bear it and pretend im #excited too. but im not bc ive burned everything inside me to ash. so when im elevated enough to be distracted by the clouds and trees it #feels like healing. like seeing angels. beautiful ephemeral beams of light. i wish i could slow down enough to watch them. but now thr sun #is hitting the horizon and the sky is going gradually dark and i should go inside. bc i have many things to do in the morning. so that's #what ill do. and ill try to get more thsn 6hrs of sleep but its hard when your body is vibrating over with energy #but at least i dont feel tired in the morning. something in my head must be on fire #unrelated #hm i should maybe add a tw to this #tw self injury #but its the kind thst makes u good at ur Job. its the kind ppl reward. so they don't understand when u say its destroying ur life #but im trying to get better. i say as i gear up for an insane semester lol but i do mean it

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i really do love practicing 🎻

#i'm in music school so now it's a much more significant source of my already very significant fears #but practicing only feels stressful when i don't do it enough and i'm trying to 'catch up' #some weeks fly past me like hurricanes and i get to my lesson and i can't say i've made any progress and that fucks me up #and i don't think that's ever going away- like i'll always have weeks like that cuz everyone has bad days and bad weeks #from time to time #but when i plan correctly (which is becoming more and more the norm for me) my practicing is something im really proud of :) #i have a System. i didn't do very well before i had it and i would die without it now. #i get excited about learning! i get excited having realizations abt things to change or work on when i practice! #it feels experimenty a lot of the time and i like it!!! #i have a lot of catching up to do in terms of comparing myself to others but i'm not here for them i'm here for me #i will do my best and i will learn from others of course but my goals are to make my Me better first and worry abt other people later #i won't lose sight of that #<- and when it doesn't feel experimenty it can be calming to just be like okay ik what i need to do now just. Practice. Repeat. #i mean music is a fucking rollercoaster and sometimes you are at the bottom and i hate that but it comes w the territory #sometimes you're just Stuck but you do get past it and in those moments i just try to think back to previous times ive felt like that #ive felt horribly shitty before and gotten through it and come out the other side slightly better! #life is like that i think #anyways. hashtag iris loves music and being a musician 🙄 nothing new over here hehe

[glorious-blackout]

It’s ShadowMonkeys Big Bang Day! 🎉🥳🥰

I’m so excited to see everyone’s creations! Here’s the first chapter of my Big Bang fic - it feels so strange to finally be sharing it after all these months 😅

Summary: 

‘After a bitter argument with Miles results in their sudden break-up, Alex finds himself standing in the lobby of a failing Tranquility Base Hotel and Casino, retaining little memory of how he got there and nursing an intense hangover.

As he resigns himself to an impromptu stay in a hotel which was once his pride and joy, he soon realises that all is not as it seems. Indecipherable whispers call to him from the dark, occasionally resembling the cries of his loved ones. The scattered guests who linger in the hallways all resemble people from Alex’s past, yet betray no hint of recognition upon meeting his gaze. Echoes of Miles follow him around like a ghost, disappearing long before Alex can hold him in his arms.

As the events unfolding around him become more and more unexplainable, Alex must use what's left of his fragile wits to uncover TBHC’s mysteries and plan his escape, before the hotel destroys his sanity and ensnares him within its walls forever...’

Thank you to @rock-n-roll-fantasy for all of your feedback on the earlier drafts and your gorgeous art, and to the wonderful @shadowmonkeysbigbang team for all of your hard work! 💖

#posting this quickly before heading off to work #so excited to catch up with everyone's stories on my days off! #milex #Miles Kane #Alex Turner #The Last Shadow Puppets #TLSP big bang

[softquietsteadylove]

Thenamesh Doctor AU is amazing! My request:

There was a pretty bad accident, let’s say a bus crashed, and 8 patient coming to Thenas ER. But Thenas ER is pretty short staffed so after the 4th patient Gil volunteers to help her out and they both work amazingly together! Let’s say a bit of action with fluff in the end:)

"A bus has crashed off the main highway, luckily with no casualties, although eight critically injured are on their way to seek care."

Thena turns away from the news on the tv and to Ajak, who is already picking up the phone. "Get all the beds clear, if we can discharge someone, do it. Get Sprite down here in case we need Pediatric help, and tell Ikaris that we might need his help with any bone setting. I may not have the hands to spare."

"Thena, we're still down two nurses and both the residents assigned here are tied up on other cases."

"Then we make do with who's here," Thena offers factually as she readies herself for the oncoming flood. "How far out are they?"

"Gil reported in, they're three minutes out!"

She sees him already, rushing in with interns and nurses at the sides of the stretcher. "What have we got?"

"Four head traumas, quite a few glass lesions, two shoulder resets and a driver with one hell of a chest cavity impact," Gil lists off for her concisely and in order of patient and severity, just how she likes it.

"Head traumas first, get them into scans, we need to know what we're dealing with before we even think about moving them around too much!" Thena directs as the first few stretchers pull off. The next one comes up and she can already see a very long shard of glass in an arm, probably a little too close to some very important veins. "Gil, help me up!"

He doesn't hesitate, grasping her by the waist and lifting her cleanly up and over to straddle the patient. "We got the bleeding cleaned up at the scene but that thing's in deep."

"We'll have to remove it surgically," Thena shakes her head, grasping the base of the glass shard and snapping off the extending length of it. "Get that shard somewhere out of the way and page the necessary surgeons for a trauma--Gil!"

All nurses and young doctors accompanying the patient startle as Thena leaps off the stretcher and into Gil's arms again, as if this is Cirque du Soleil and not an Emergency Room.

The stretchers pull off and Gil sets Thena on her feet gently (as if she didn't leap from a stretcher at full speed like a maniac). She looks up at him with a frown, "that was the last run of your shift. You should go."

"Hey," he shakes his head, giving her that smile of his that would make anyone in an emergency situation feel at ease. "You see this place? I'm not goin' anywhere."

Thena gives him a look as they separate, heading in tandem towards the patients stable enough to be parked. "This is not in agreement with your union rules."

Gil shrugs, jogging lightly alongside her to their chest impact. "A little overtime never kill anyone. And what kind of ass hole would I be if I let you and Ajak handle this place alone?"

Thena has the seconds to spare to give Gil's hand a squeeze before she pulls on a pair of gloves. "Let's take a look."

"Doc...I can't...b-brea-"

"Okay, it's okay," Thena says quietly, using the low tone of her velvety voice to try and lull him into some sense of security. She looks at Gil, who doesn't even have to be looking at her to rattle off the patient's vitals while pulling his shoes off.

"Good colour, no loss of blood flow," Gil informs from the end of the bed.

"I think it's a floating rib stuck into his lung," she murmurs to Gil as she finishes her most preliminary examination. She moves back to the head, pulling up the eyelids and doing a quick pupillary test. "Sir, does it hurt to breathe?"

He nods.

Thena feels along his clavicle, "that's intact. Sir, have you suffered any injuries to your ribs before, like a fracture or a break?"

He nods again. as emphatically as he can manage.

"Let's get him get him something for the pain," she gives Gil's bicep a nudge and he reaches for an oxygen mask to help get some air into him easier. "I want an x-ray before we make any rash decisions. It could just be agitating the lung or it could be on the verge of piercing it. Ikaris will know."

"Got it," Gil responds so she knows he's heard her, continuing his work on the patient just as he would in the field. There is indeed some bruising around his side, but no signs of broken blood vessels or deeper tissue damage.

"Thank you," she whispers to him before heading back to the nurses station. Ajak is filling out paperwork like the wind to have all their patient files at the ready as the ball gets rolling. "How are we doing?"

"I think we're just about ready," Ajak mutters as she licks her finger, flicking through physical papers while someone else updates the files digitally. "Most of the stitching is being done by the kids, but the largest one may need your help. It's a pretty wide gash from the artifact getting moved around in transport."

"Okay," Thena nods, accepting the chart from her on said case. She looks at Ajak, "Gil is with our chest trauma now. I want to get him put under after we do his x-rays to reset a rib that's affecting his breathing."

"Gil?" Ajak pauses in her frenzy to look up at her attending friend, "shouldn't he be off by now?"

"He should be, but he insisted on staying until we get our heads above water with this bus situation."

Ajak stays quiet, observing the smile on Thena's face on the subject of the sweet paramedic. She should have known; Gil would never willingly step away from Thena if he thought she needed help. "I'm not the one paying him--if he wants to stay and help, he can stay and help."

"That's what I said," Thena laughs faintly, just in the very narrow moment she has to share with her most trusted nurse. "Come notify me with any results?"

Ajak merely gives Thena - already trotting off to her lesion repair - a thumbs up as she calls yet another department to send down a specialist as soon as they're available.

No one is surprised to see Gil around in the ER, helping out as needed long into the night. He's been on for more than his fair 12 hours by now, but he stays, and stays, making sure people have the assistance they need.

Those who aren't familiar with the situation only have nerve enough to ask Ajak why he's stuck around so long (they would never dare ask Thena).

Ajak tells them that it's what Thena's work husband does--he stays and supports his work wife. Then she tells them to stop standing around and gossiping when they have patients to see.

#Thenamesh Doctor AU #I ended up really really liking this one #so I'm so excited other people did too #I know there was a lot of time between the first one and this #I have a lot of asks #but I love and value them all okay #I love a work-spouses dynamic #I love it so much #And of course they work well together #Thena trusts Gil so implicitly #so explicitly #so deep in her bones #she shouldn't be jumping onto or off of stretchers #that's insane #and she would fire anyone else who tried it #but she trusts Gil to catch her when times are tough #Ajak knows just how hard earned Thena's trust is #everyone else who wants to get along with Thena like that #Ajak wishes them luck #once they get everyone managed and where they need to be #and everyone can breathe #first thing Thena does is order Gil to go home and get some rest #he tries to argue but she's like do you wanna be in one of those stretchers next?! #he's like okay honey you win #but he does whisper to Ajak not to let Thena work herself too hard #Ajak is just like #you two are so stupid and cute I love it go home

[pineapplefulfillseveryneed]

SPARKSTEMBER DAY 18: Balls

#sparkstember #Sparkstember 2022 #ron mael #russell mael #sparks #Sparks (band) #Sparks fanart #my art #balls #Sparkstember day 18 #ahh I've been excited about this one! #last few days Ive been working with photos instead of scans as I'm abroad but luckily i had finished&scanned this one already before i left #and it was so just fun to work on this one ^^ scans really work much better #I'll have to catch up on everyone's posts later!! <3 #oh there's more versions on Instagram :) in case anyone will like that #sparks art

[fabulouslygaybean]

my younger sister and i are going to the first day of our city's pride fest and im so excited!! scared, but still excited

#bringing pepper spray just in case #and im advising her to do the same #still. it'll be fun #the queer folks here are generally really kind and trustworthy #my mom lost her phone last year and some gay guy she never met kept watch over it to see if anyone would come back for it #and she did. so it worked out for everyone #anyways #we're getting ready to catch a bus out downtown :] #we're unfortunately gonna miss a good chunk of the drag show in the main section but there's still gonna be plenty of stuff to do #i heard that trixie mattel might be there which is exciting #i gotta find a faggy outfit lmaooo #not queer enough that it'll set off my mom when she picks us up. but queer enough that other queer folks will think i look cool #i don't have a very nice face so i gotta make up for it

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum