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hornystiel · 1 year

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chipped coin

1,6k, mature (i guess), early seasons destiel

so jackles and ida @chapeldean reminded me about the whole 'dean in cas' coat' thing and i wrote this in one go.

Dean’s rummaging in the pockets of the trench coat he’s currently borrowing from Cas in chance to find something like, you know, change, like what normal people are carrying with them in their pockets.

Cas appears to be some kind of bird who likes shiny things, because his pockets have everything but the money Dean needs to buy himself a can of soda at 3 am from the vending machine outside of their motel room. Their room.

Jesus, when did it become two rooms and not for Dean and Sam even, but for Dean and Cas, and Sam. Well, it’s not always like that, sometimes they still stay in one room because everything's packed and they don’t have any spare money or a working credit card with them. Except why the fuck Cas even needs to stay with them at night? And sleep in Dean’s bed. He’s a fucking angel, he doesn’t even need sleep.

Not that Dean minds. Not really.

Shiny rocks, a piece of glass (not sharp, thankfully), a cap from a beer Dean likes and tried to give to Cas a few times, some kind of a keychain in the shape of a cat? It’s cute though. Still no money.

Dean’s getting cold because he only slipped into Cas’ coat and currently wears only that, boots, and his batman boxers he managed to win from under Cas who was blissfully zoned out after fucking him into the creaky bed they share today. But once Dean took the coat and put it on, the look on Cas’ face became nothing but predatory. Dean’s sure if he lingered for a bit before leaving - they’d be having round two right now.

Dean’s ass is still sensitive and he still feels, well, Cas’ come leaking out of him a bit. That should really be very gross, Dean’s sure he should feel gross.

He doesn’t and that’s kind of concerning.

He touches the bite mark on his neck and feels his cheeks heating up, even in the chilly parking lot.

Castiel was intense the minute he appeared in Dean’s life, but Dean didn’t really think he would be so into marking him in every way possible. Although, the handprint on his shoulder should have given him some ideas. Dean coughs a little, trying to will his brain to stop translating the direct feed of Cas sucking hickeys on his hips half an hour before.

Right. He’s still thirsty, that was the reason he left the room in the first place. Not to contemplate.

They are just fucking. Just fucking, just sharing a room, just talking for hours about everything and nothing, just grabbing a bite in shitty diners when Cas pops up out of nowhere right when Dean thinks it would be nice to make him try this new weird-looking pie and see that adorable frown make an appearance again, the apocalypse fuckery hanging somewhere in the background for once.

Dean digs faster, in an attempt to overrun his own thoughts. How deep are those pockets? Finally something circle-shaped is in his hands and he brings it to the neon light to the left of him to see what it is.

It’s the coin, a piece of it chipped a little, a tiny hole piercing it close to the ridge.

Dean remembers this coin.

He was boredly playing with all the change he had on him during their pitstop in one of the bars on their way to another state, Cas sitting on the opposite end of a small booth, looking ragged. Rebel angels have tough days.

Dean noticed this coin and said Hey, look. This one is like you. Castiel squinted at the coin and mumbled Useless and broken? Dean huffed and went Not like the others and still kicking.

He placed it in Cas’ hand and said that this one is for good luck. Castiel frowned but took it.

Dean thought he threw it away or lost it a long time ago. But it’s still here. In Dean’s palm again. An angel who wields the destinies of the whole civilisations is carrying a chipped coin for good luck given to him by a hick human.

Suddenly he isn’t really thirsty anymore.

He puts everything back into the pockets and quickly goes back to their room.

Cas is still sprawled on the bed (more and more human things in his arsenal, one day he’ll use this arsenal of adorable/annoying lethal quirks to kill Dean dead), but once Dean closes the door, he sits up and looks at Dean.

Forget the pain in his ass, Dean wants to ride this ruffled creature into the sunset of a better future.

“Dean, I advise you to take the coat off, because I’m not sure I can control myself when you are wearing it and I know you must be tired.”

“Aw, for a possessive bastard you’re such a gentleman.” Dean chuckles and without taking the trench coat off climbs on top of Cas’ naked thighs. “What, afraid you’ll fuck the Righteous Man too good he goes out of commission?”

Castiel growls and tugs Dean closer, crushing their mouths together, hands roaming all over his body as if they were separated for a decade instead of thirty minutes tops.

“It’s just…the more traces of me you have on yourself, the more I…” Cas hides his face in Dean’s shoulder, his movements slowing but not losing intensity, a hand crawling to the handprint, hidden under the coat.

“Tell me.” Dean’s lost all of his brain cells on the way here, he wants to hear how much he breaks Cas’ restraint, he wants to know the moment Cas started thinking of this coat as a part of him, he wants to know whether it’s the first time Cas even feels this way and if so he doesn’t want to share this knowledge with anybody else. Man, they are both possessive as fuck.

“I want to keep you to myself,” Cas whispers, unsure, and Dean moans, slowly grinding into him, starting to pull the coat off his shoulders, but Cas stops his hands. Holy fucking shit.

“You were mine to rebuild, mine to bring back to life, mine to protect,” Cas lifts his gaze to Dean and strokes his jaw. “Now you’re mine to love.”

If Dean ever wondered what the perfect example of “fuck around and find out” looks like in real life - well. He’s experiencing it now.

“Shut up,” he tells Cas because he isn’t ready to start fucking crying during the most mindblowing kinky sex he isn’t even fully having right now.

Cas opens his mouth to argue and probably tell him more insane shit that will rewire Dean’s mindframe forever and ever, so he shuts him up himself with kisses. After they’re finally done making out, Cas, the stubborn bastard, opens his mouth again.

“Was what I said wrong? You asked me to tell you.”

“No, it’s just…” How can he even begin to explain everything that’s happening in his brain right now? That Cas just voiced Dean’s own feelings he’s too afraid to even start rationalizing in his own mind? Let alone talking about them. The thought that Cas doesn’t know what he’s talking about doesn’t even cross his mind. He knows they both feel the same and both are greatly inexperienced in just being in love. Cas being an angel, Dean being a hunter and both of them being fuckups.

“You are thinking too much. I don’t require your answer, Dean, that’s not why I said it.” Cas touches his neck, shoulders, stomach, thighs. Feather-light strokes of his long fingers relax Dean gradually. “Just let me take care of you sometimes.”

And Dean lets.

The coat stays on, like a wall, shielding what they have from the rest of the world. Dean imagines that it’s Cas’ wings that envelop him and keep him safe.

They take it slow this time, Dean rocking on top of Cas like he has all the time in the world, Cas’ hands are firm but still gentle, supporting him when he gets tired. He’s so beautiful underneath him, all black unruly hair, dark stubble and eyes only for Dean.

Dean kisses him and kisses and kisses until his lips get numb and scratchy from all the licking and biting.

Cas talks to him, quiet and intimate, and, dammit, Dean ends up crying after all. But he feels so, so much lighter, he feels like there’s light streaming from all the scars on his body.

When they are cleaned up, Dean digs in the pockets of Cas’ coat again, Cas curiously watching from the bed, clad in boxers and Dean's t-shirt. Dean kinda gets why Cas jumped him when he walked in in his trench coat earlier. The t-shirt…is doing things to him too.

He finds the coin again, takes it, threads a thick rope through the tiny hole in it and tugs the ends. Then goes to Cas and motions for him to bow his head.

Cas looks puzzled for a second and then a tiny warm smile spreads on his face when he thumbs the improvised amulet on his neck.

“Just uh. For it not to get lost in your giant ass pockets.” Dean’s scratching his head and fidgeting like a dumbass.

“Thank you Dean,” Cas catches Dean’s restless hands in his and just holds them, “Thank you for taking care of it.”

Thank you for taking care of me.

One day Dean will say it back outloud.

#destiel #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #deancas #deancas fic #deancas ficlet #thisisapaige #spxcekya #becauseofthebowties #usermoogs #anztag #spncreatorsdaily #hashtag writing

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 1 year

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Something

Dean Winchester x plus size reader

Not marriage, not kids but something

Warnings: no use of y/n, a little bit of Dean’s insecurity and John’s crap parenting, no dialogue, mutual pining, childhood friends to lovers, implied smut, mentions of death of a parent

WC: 1k

Minors DNI

Settling down wasn’t in the cards for hunters. There was too much risk, to both themselves and their families. Dean had accepted this a long time ago, pretty much as soon as John first laid a gun in his small hands and told him what lurked in the dark.

He had tried once before but it never worked out. So, he stuck to random hookups with women that would never see his face again. Every once in a while, Sam would attempt to get his older brother to at least entertain the idea of what could be, what should have been, but he was shut down every time.

Dean was fine with his bachelor lifestyle, actually, he was more than fine with it, but there were moments in the middle of the night when he would turn over in his sleep and reach for someone who wasn’t there. He would watch families interact in those shitty roadside diners, all smiles and laughter like it was a 5 star restaurant. He felt a lurching in his chest, a deep ache that not even his best whiskey could soothe.

But then, you came home.

You were another hunter’s kid from years ago. Similar story, one parent taken out, the other driven mad with the need for revenge. You were a regular fixture in Bobby’s house and thus, in the Winchesters’ lives. The last time Dean had seen you was a month before Sam ran away to Stanford. You were freshly 19 and being forced to leave.

Your mother was taking you to France, apparently the werewolf pack that had killed her partner fled there. She gave you no choice in the matter, just like every other hunting parent. Dean can vividly recall the way you clung to him as you sobbed and begged him not to forget about you. He had held you close, laying a kiss to your hair like it was the last time while he promised it wouldn’t be.

And in a way, he was right. He did see you again and he did get to wrap his arms around your now thicker waist in a hug that was almost 20 years overdue. Sure you were covered in blood and ghoul guts but if it wasn’t the best damn hug Dean ever had.

You were quickly stolen away from your stolen minivan that you had been living out of and forced into one of the empty rooms in the bunker (one that was conveniently close to number 11). There was the compulsory catch up and then scolding on your end for all the stupid things the boys had done, but once the smacking over the head and general berating was complete, everything was strangely normal.

It was nice to have an extra set of hands for research, someone else that Sam could bore with his weird true crime fetish, a person that was actually willing to help Castiel learn to be human, another like minded hunter that could binge watch Netflix and pig out with Dean on the couch.

Dean was happy to actually have a friend, a good one at that. But there was something deep inside him that dared to wonder.

You were beautiful, intelligent and a hell of a hunter. He had been dreaming of you for 15 years, his teenage hormones evolved into a bone deep lust that blinded him whenever he saw even a sliver of your skin. He longed to feel your generous curves under his palms, your lips pressed against his own. But more than that, he wanted to wake up next to you every day. Have you sit next to him in Baby, singing old rock songs as he drove. Dean wanted you, through and through.

He knew he didn’t deserve you, not after the things he’s done. But you disagreed.

It happened so quickly, Dean didn’t see it coming. Suddenly, it was you and not Sam that was patching him up. You were the one going on runs with him. It was you that would sit up with him, glass of whiskey in hand as the ancient record player crooned in the corner.

He only realised what was going on one night in September. The Bunker had been freezing, the weather unseasonably cold. Dean had retired to his room with a couple beers and his Scooby-Doo box set, determined to wait out the cold in comfort as his little brother tried his hand at fixing the boiler.

It was about 1 and a half seasons in when there came a knock on his door. He was going to ignore it, thinking it was Sam telling him that he also failed at repairing the heating but instead, your voice softly called out to him.

You shuffled in after a moment, and Dean couldn’t help but smile. You must’ve been wearing at least five layers of clothes (including one of his henleys) and a large blanket wrapped around your shoulders. His stomach lurched at the sight of your shy smile and chattering teeth. With no hesitation, he lifted the covers and you dove in, snuggling against his chest as he wrapped an arm around your back.

Your hand came to rest softly on his chest, right above his heart and Dean could only pray that you didn’t feel the frantic beat of his pulse. You did.

You said his name so softly he almost didn’t hear it. He looked down at you and his breath caught in his throat. Before he could react, your lips were on his. He froze for only a second, his brain not comprehending that this was actually happening and it wasn’t some dream.

But then your hands were in his hair and his own had traveled down to your thick thighs, pulling you up to straddle his lap. The cold, the fear, the insecurities were forgotten; washed away in your embrace and your lips.

He held you close as you took each other apart piece by piece, unwilling to let you go even for a single second now that he had you, as he did every night after. You saved him and kept him afloat. He lived for you, for your smile, for your touch.

It wasn’t exactly marriage and it wasn’t kids but it was something, and for a hunter like Dean, it was more than enough.

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jemariel · 8 months

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Falling With Style

By Jemariel

Rating: Explicit

Pairing: Dean/Cas

Words: 15,831

Tags: Wingfic, Dean has angel wings, Human Castiel in the Bunker, domestic fluff, wing grooming, flying lessons, love confessions, Cas has self-worth issues, first kiss/first time together, Profound Bond Gift Exchange: Hot Entity Summer

Written for the Profound Bond gift exchange for @eyesandwingsonlyafterdark !! I hope you enjoy 💙💚💖

Summary: Dean's facing a long summer cooped up in the bunker with nothing but his own brand new eight-foot angel wings for company. And Cas, of course. But the former angel is acting super weird about this whole thing, and Dean can't figure out why. He could sure use some help from the expert, though.

(In which Dean learns to fly, and Cas remembers what it's like.)

Read on ao3!

Excerpt and tag list below the cut, let me know if you want to be added to or removed from my tag list!

On this particular Thursday, Dean finds Cas in the library. Deep in the stacks, in a section that mostly contains books on angel lore, as far as Dean knows. He’s got an armload already and is peering with great concentration at the cobwebby shelves.

Jackpot.

Dean sidles closer, winching his wings in tight as they’ll go so they don’t knock anything off the shelves (again). Be a shame to give away the game.

Closer… closer… years of practice keep his feet and breathing quiet until he can count the hairs on the back of Cas’s neck. And then, just as Cas is juggling his books from one arm to the other—

“Whatcha lookin’ for?”

Cas jumps about a half a mile, and a dozen moth-eaten volumes go tumbling to the floor. Sam’s gonna kill him.

Worth it.

“Dean—” Cas exhales, a hand on his chest and murder in the set of his jaw. “What the hell are you doing?”

Dean grins and relaxes his wings a touch. “Just having a little fun,” he says, tongue between his teeth. For some reason, getting a rise out of Cas always gets him giddy. It’s like champagne bubbles under his skin, and ever since he sprouted these feathery intruders, that’s where he feels it the strongest. It’s like all the feathers are standing on end. It’s happened before. Like the time he pretended not to know or care about the Library of Alexandria for an entire hour, and Cas had gone on a righteously livid rant that left him flushed and sweaty. There’d been a chalkboard involved. Or the time Cas had wandered into the kitchen all pre-coffee grumpy in nothing but sweatpants while Dean was making eggs. That hadn’t exactly been Dean getting a rise out of him, but it gave him the goosebumps all the same.

Dean had chosen not to analyze it too closely.

With a glare in Dean’s direction, Cas crouches down to pick up the books, ruddy around the ears. It’s then—looking down at Cas’s head just below waist level—that Dean realizes just how close he’d positioned himself. His wings tingle harder, and his stomach does this funny little twist as he shuffles back to a more respectable distance. Suddenly, he has to swallow a whole mouthful of saliva and clear his throat before he can speak.

“Seriously, what are you doing back here?” he asks. Totally neutral. Completely normal.

Rising to his feet, Cas hands over one of the books. The spine looks like it’s decided to make a break for it, hanging on by a few bare horsehair threads. Dean actually feels bad for a minute before he reads the title.

“Alchemical Properties of Angelic Minutia? Sounds grim.”

Cas nods, still averting his gaze, fingering the dusty pages of a slim, gilt-edged volume. “I was hoping to uncover a solution to your… predicament.”

“Gabe said it would wear off on its own, right?”

One of Cas’s eyebrows climbs toward his hairline. “And you trust him?”

Dean snorts, handing the book back. “Not even half as far as I can throw him, but why would he lie about that?”

“I can think of a dozen reasons. But even assuming there is truth in that, why shouldn’t we try to”—he gestures vaguely with his laden arms—“encourage the process?”

Dean considers, crossing his arms as he leans against a bookshelf. The edge of the shelf digs into his bare bicep, and he shudders to think what kind of dust his feathers are picking up. “It’s not so bad,” he says. “Kinda grateful for the vacation.”

Cas squints at him in flat disbelief. “Dean, you have put up a protest every time Sam has left on a hunt for the last two months.”

“Yeah, well.” How does he explain this? “Netflix ain’t gonna binge itself, right? C’mon. I’ll make some popcorn.”

Cas nods vaguely as Dean slaps him on the shoulder and turns to escape the library. “Give me a moment to… reshelve these, I suppose.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Read more on ao3!

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#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel wing fic #wing kink #human castiel #profoundnet #profound bond gift exchange round 10: hot entity summer

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jjtheresidentbaby · 3 months

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˚. ❝₊˚ 𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴 ❞ ˚₊·

» spn agere week: day 4, little one is sick, angel to the rescue - feb 1st

» for @spnagereweek event || on my ao3 | 700+ wrd count

» little!sam & caregiver!gabriel & caregiver!dean

» warnings: talk of sickness, nothing graphic, pet names

“Hey thanks for coming Gabriel.” Dean greets as the angel steps into the bunker, hands fidgeting with his shirt hem discreetly. He’s nervous, he’ll admit it, Gabriel’s nervous to be doing this. He knows he’s more than capable of healing whatever illness Sam has come down with but he’s never seen the hunter regressed, and he doesn’t have much experience with kids.

“I don’t know what’s wrong but I’ve tried all the cough medicine and Tylenol and a normal doctor but I just- I can’t stand seeing him so sick anymore.” There’s a tiredness to Dean’s voice that makes Gabriel’s face fall. Most times he’s interacted with Dean it’s been snarky comments and stern orders, Gabriel almost gets the urge to reach out and put his hand on Deans shoulder, see if he can take some pain or maybe help him feel better. Even if he isn’t the one that’s sick.

“Little angle magic will fix him up.” A small smile gets sent Gabriel’s way before Dean’s opening the door to Sam’s bedroom, letting Gabriel go in first.

The bedroom looks relatively normal, what Gabriel was expecting from Sam: books scattered around- though there’s more children’s ones than he thought there’d be-, his laptop plugged in on a desk covered in papers, barely any real decor because Winchesters seriously lack taste, a picture of Sam, Dean and Castiel hung up on the wall. All of it checks out. Or, almost, because there’s a mountain of stuffed animals on Sam’s bed, which he’s hiding under, and a trash can piled high with tissues that makes Gabriel cringe. Poor kid’s been sick for some time.

“Hey Sammy, Gabriel’s here to see you…” Dean reaches into the stuffed animal pile to assumingely rub a hand at Sam’s back, he gets a grunt as a response.

“Okay ouch. C’mon kid you should be excited to see me, hello I’m a walking candy dispenser.” Gabriel walks farther into the room and throws his usual charm onto his words, it seems to work as Sam’s head pops up between a plush bunny and tiger.

“What kinda candy?” Sam’s voice comes out raspy yet still sweet and innocent, it makes a smile spread over Gabriel’s face in an instant.

“What kind do you want?” He moves closer to the bed and Dean seems to understand what he’s doing as he steps back and crosses his arms to observe.

“Strawberry.” There’s a lisp when Sam talks and he reaches to rub his nose against his, thankfully sleeve covered, arm. Gabriel almost shudders, kids are gross, but it’d probably offend Sam a bit and that’s the last thing he wants.

“Strawberry coming up.” There’s suddenly a plethora of strawberry candies in Gabriel’s hand: lollipops, those hard candies every old lady has, gummies, strawberry flavored marshmallows. Unsurprisingly Sam’s eyes light up and he quickly crawls out of his stuffed animal mountain to get closer to where Gabriel’s standing by the end of the bed.

“Which one Moose?” Apparently the strawberry marshmallow was the right thing for Gabriel to conjure up as Sam takes it without hesitation.

“Dean said you didn’t feel good, you think you can let me take a look?” Sam nods mindlessly, holding the big marshmallow in both his hands like a mouse, nibbling on it which is also very mouse like but Gabriel assumes it’s to savor it.

He takes the moment to brush Sam’s hair back, his forehead is sweat covered and hot to the touch. The longer Gabriel presses his hands on Sam the more concerned he gets, his throat feels a little swollen, all his skin is far too hot, sweat beading down the back of his neck, and he’s sweat through his shirt. Gabriel honestly doesn’t know what’s wrong as the symptoms seem like something that human medicine should be able to heal. It doesn’t really matter though- he holds his hand in Sam’s hair so his palm can rest on his forehead and takes whatever sickness it is away.

“Nose isn’t stuffy no more.” A grin breaks on Gabriel’s lips, he finds the way Sam is staring up at him with big doe eyes and his mouth slightly open in shock, absolutely adorable.

“You should be all better kiddo.” Sam’s eyes suddenly fall to the halfway eaten marshmallow in his hands, his jaw dropping farther open as if the marshmallow was the thing that healed him. Gabriel knows this is the first time he’s seeing Sam regressed but he seriously loves him already.

“De’ Gabe gave me magic marshmallow!” The two caregivers share a laugh over Sam’s excitement and Dean comes over to ruffle Sam’s still sweat soaked hair.

#spn agere week #supernatural agere #little!sam winchester #caregiver!dean winchester #caregiver!gabriel #sam & gabriel #sam & dean & gabriel #gabriel supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #jj writes

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castieldelamancha · 9 months

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"I miss you." Castiel mutters as soon as the call disconnects and he knows Dean can't hear him. He sets his phone on the table, staring down at it, a deep sadness settling in his features, the expression familiar at this point.

"It's difficult, isn't it?" A gentle, feminine voice says on his right. "Being away from someone you care so much about I mean." He looks at her and suddenly her expression turns self-conscious, her cheeks turning a deep shade of pink. "I wasn't listening in or anything," she rushes to explain, "I simply came by to ask you if you wanted a refill and I heard you," she lifts the pot filled with coffee she brings with her.

"It's alright," he replies, "and yes, I agree, it's difficult." And painful, he adds in the privacy of his own mind.

She nods along, "my partner is away too, working, so I get it."

This, this generous empathy humans have for others, no matter if they are strangers or not, it's one of the things he loves more about them. The ability to put themselves in other people's shoes, offer comfort and understanding so freely. He doesn't even bother to tell her Dean and him aren't a couple. "I'm sure they appreciate knowing that you miss them."

Castiel nods, keeping to himself the fact he actually didn't tell Dean.

It's complicated, so complicated.

She gives him a sad smile and refills his empty mug, excusing herself when someone calls for her from another table.

Castiel goes back to staring down at his phone. He wonders... Would Dean really appreciate it? Would he take it well if Castiel were to make it all even more complicated than it already is? Would he be angry? Would he joke to avoid a heartfelt moment?

He picks up the phone and opens the text app, selecting Dean's conversation, the first one on the list, he types away, a bit slowly, because it still isn't easy for him. He ignores the emoticons and, before he can think twice about it, he hits send.

> I miss you.

He suppresses the urge to pocket his phone, or even turn it off. He watches the screen instead as three dots appear, signaling Dean is typing something back. He feels such a deep regret, such a exhilarating hope. Such a small gesture for some, Castiel feels as he has just taken the greatest leap of his existence. He just hopes Dean is going to be there to soften the blow when he irremediable has to land.

It maybe takes a century, or just ten seconds, or ten minutes, but suddenly the dots are gone and a new text appears on his screen.

> i miss u too

It says. Castiel stares at his phone, smiling down at it. He promises himself the next time he is going to use his voice to express this sentiment.

#destiel #ficlet #vanessa writes ✨#one silly little ficlet a day ✨ from me to youuuuuu🎶#mah point is uhhhh soft texts i guess???

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profoundbondfanfic · 1 year

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Curse of the Boyfriend Sweater

Curse of the Boyfriend Sweater by Spn_kink_sock Rating: Explicit Word count: 182k

This is the knit store AU that no one asked for but I wrote anyway, where Dean, Sam and Mary sell yarn and teach knitting and crochet. Dean’s also a firefighter, because who doesn’t love a man in uniform? Sam walks dogs. But just what is Mary doing at Surekill exterminators? There’s Destiel and Saileen romance. Hijinks and happy times, with just enough angst and drama to keep the story going. A happy ending guaranteed. Selling yarn, knitting things. The family business.

A fabulous Modern AU that’s also canon divergent that’s also a fic-reader’s wet dream.

Dean is soft and sweet and a hero and brave and always puts other people first, and he’s everything we know he could be if he’d been given a chance. And who couldn’t fall in love with that? Certainly not Castiel. A human yoga instructor, gay Castiel who happens to also be engaged to a less-than-awesome Mick Davies.

This story is long and has all the wonderful trappings of a long fic, detailed explanations, and intricately woven moments that explore characters and relationships. I learned more about knitting and crocheting than expected, but even that was woven (see what I did there) into the plot beautifully.

It’s rare for a story to have such rich sub-plots without giving them their own chapters and pulling away from the main story. Each thread (look, I did it again) is added and built upon, creating a whole town of people and lives that feel so real, you can imagine going to stitch and bitch with Cas at Dean’s shop or grabbing a beer with Benny after his shift, or calling Bobby about that damn raccoon in getting in the trash again.

The surprise comes in the shape of an unexpected family member and a fixer-upper’s pantry. Suddenly we’re thrust back into the world of hunting and the Cambell family legacy, but maybe this time, things will go a little differently for our hero. Maybe this time, free will is actually an option.

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diazpatcher · 12 days

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There's always mom

a short fic about what happened to Castiel after the Empty.

I was listening to "O superman" by Laurie Anderson, while writing this.

Read after cut or on AO3

Castiel opened his eyes slowly, a stickiness to them he hadn't felt in his life. The empty was dark as it had been the first time around. He shouldn't be awake. "Hello," Castiel jumped to his feet, that wasn't the Empty. That was something else he could feel it, or rather he couldn't feel it. "Hello?" His throat was raw, like he spoke for the first time in centuries. "You're finally awake! I was waiting for you." Castiel still couldn't make out where the voice was coming from, or why he didn't feel like he was in danger, rather he felt like coming home. Even different than heaven. "You were?" His footsteps echoed in the Empty as he walked aimlessly, trying to follow the voice. "Of course! Don't you remember me, Castiel?" The voice seemed hurt, by Castiel lack of knowledge and insight, but he couldn't seem to catch up to her. "I'm sorry I don't. Last time I was here, I fought with the Empty, but that's not you, is it?" He tentatively asked.. "No, no, the Empty, I guess you could say it's my child, just like every other thing in the universe." Castiel continued walking, drawn towards an endless corner of the Empty, as if he might find something, someone there. "Your child?" A laugh, the voice had laughed, a warm and kind laugh. "Yes, have you never wondered how Creation and Destruction came to be? Someone made them, I did." There was a shift in the air, Castiel was no longer looking at nothing. Before his eyes like a curtain pulling away, the universe appeared. Stars, planets, and nebulae filling the endless. "So then who are you?" he asked, his eyes burning with the sensation of starring for too long. "I'm the endless universe, a creator, a lover, a care taker-" "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." "Thank you, Castiel." The voice replied, "I am everything. Some call me a goddess, but I've always seen myself more as a mother of everything." Castiel stopped moving, the pull in his chest had disappeared, as if head reached his destination. "Mother? You're the mother of God?" "Yes, but I am also your mother and the mother of all angels who died and all demons. God may have created you, but I made you. All of you." Castiel sat down, his back suddenly finding a wall he could lean against and not disappear into. "You said you waited for me?" Castiel noticed he was wearing the trenchcoat still, and when he rummaged through the pockets, he found Dean's necklace in it. "I did. You were the most special of my creations, an angel that fell, not because he rebelled but because of love. Because you loved humanity more than you loved angels, God and the order of what I created.-" Castiel knows he should be enraged at was the voice, mother is admitting but he couldn't find it in him, to amazed by what he was seeing before him. "So you caused all this pain?" "No, my dear, no. I just make what Creation and Destruction decide to do with it is up to them, but you. You always belonged to me." Castiel watched the star infant of him take shape, an indiscernable face appearing before him, hands colored in the lilac blue of the universe reaching out to him. "Why?" He asked as he looked behind him, the Empty stretching on for forever. "Because Castiel, you are carrying a part of me inside of you." "Doesn't everyone have atoms of the universe in them?" "Yes, but you got them from me personally, that the love inside of you. I gave you my love, and it saved the world, and now you're here, my child. You finally get to rest." The universe before formed a path of stars opening a space for him next to the hands that were reaching out. "You're my mother?" "Yes, my dear. Now come join me and rest." Castiel still had Dean's necklace in his hands, he looked behind him again, the Empty still there, still empty, still no escape, but infront of him, infront of him was a way out in the arms of someone who loved him. There was an escape in the arms of his mother.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural castiel #castiel #castiel novak #the Empty #supernatural season 15 #s15 ep 18 #fix it fic #misha collins #grey writes #grey writes supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #sam winchester

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championashley · 6 months

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It's been 3 years since my life changed forever. So I want to get out all of my feelings and what I went through during this time in 2020.

See, I had already known about "Destiel" for years, only hearing whispers about it vaguely, and most of the time, in a very negative light. But around October, I started seeing videos compiling their moments, and thanks to my recent exposure to fanfiction thanks to Good Omens, I decided to finally see what the talk was all about. and of course, you can guess what I thought. But I still didn't believe it would happen. I was curious, given there were only a few episodes left to air at that point. I told myself that I would vaguely pay attention in case anything did happen.

I remember watching it, late that night. All of the anxiety piling up on me thanks to election week, and I just...broke. I was in hysterics for characters I had only known for a few weeks, but it wasn't a complete failure to me. At the time, I was so confident that it wasn't the end, that the next 2 episodes would see Dean and Sam figuring out a way to rescue Castiel. I had never believed in something so thoroughly then I did during that time. It was all still going to be ok.

And...it wasn't. those 2 weeks went by and we were left with nothing. Barely even a name mentioned, no discussion of the confession, no conclusive answer from Dean. And that...I didn't know how to properly describe what I was feeling then. I mean, why was I getting so upset over characters that, until a few weeks ago, I could barely care less about?

But I get it now. See, at the time I had, shall we say, an ignorant view of LGBTQ people and their struggles. I was the kind of person who heard of Korrasami going canon, and was just really confused. "why are people so crazy about this? They're just holding hands, what's the deal?" I had only ever known homophobia by this nebulous annoyance, and classified it under the same umbrella as people in gaming communities I frequented being weirdly mean to me because I was a girl. Bigotry existed in my head, but I didn't understand the gravity of it. Even when I became a part of the Good Omens fandom, realizing I am asexual, this stringent belief still didn't register with me (partly because the community was extremely nice and welcoming in 2019). It was still this background radiation to me.

Not after November 5th. Literally EVERYWHERE I went: YouTube comment sections, Twitter posts, even in the discord servers I was in, there was a sometimes ambivalent, sometimes malicious, but consistent undercurrent of negativity about it. Every other day I saw comments ranging from "Castiel's confession wasn't romantic, he meant it as a friend/brother." to "Destiel shippers so so delusional for thinking that was romantic!". It wasn't in the background anymore, it was in my face, 24/7. And at first, I couldn't understand it. Why?

Because it was completely antithetical to everything I had known or believed about the world. I grew up a disney princess girl, believing that love was the most important thing known to humanity. I was always taught that to love another was the greatest gift of all. Expressing love, giving love to those who believe don't deserve it, shouldn't be instantly punished. This event, and the people denying it, it's all wrong. Castiel spoke his truth, was reprimanded for it, Dean was left not being able to even say anything back, and Misha along with the writer of the episode are telling us it was all romantic. Why couldn't Dean say anything at all? Why are people so vehemently denying it ever happened?

It was the bubble bursting. This perfect world, where outside of a few infrequent outliers, was ultimately kind to LGBTQ+ people, no longer existed. Suddenly, I understood. And I hated it. Every week was a constant series of microaggressions, of me having to debate with people who either didn't get it, or didn't want to, or both. It forced me to regularly ask the question: "Why is it such a crime for Dean to possibly like men and women? Why is it wrong in general to like both?"

And it was in asking that question to others that I slowly stopped directing the question unconsciously to myself. By fighting for the right to argue for Dean's bisexuality, I found my own. But it didn't feel like a happy occasion to me. At the time, It just made the entire situation all the more personal. It wasn't about other people suffering at the hands of people who are diametrically opposed to my core beliefs anymore. When bigots questioned Dean's right to be openly bisexual, it felt more and more like they were questioning MY right to be bi too. I shouldn't be allowed to want a complex, multilayered bi-character to whom I relate. I'm a delusional, mentally disabled, selfish person who should stop asking for more queer representation.

And that continued for months. Until slowly, I found other outlets. I found Hannibal, then Our Flag Means Death. I found media that told me it was okay. That being bisexual, being asexual was okay. Asking for more, better queer representation was not only fine but necessary. I shouldn't have to settle for scraps anymore.

Not only that, but the entire situation in a way gave me a new drive. It gave me a goal and a greater drive to my writing, and my activism than I had before. Before I was doing writing projects that were mostly rewrites, how to take a Movie, TV show, or video game story and make it better. In the wake of Nov. 5th, I began plotting out a rewrite of Supernatural, a Fix-It if you will. But it didn't feel like my previous projects, It felt like I was giving a happy ending to Dean and Cas. And I've now taken that attitude into all of my writing projects.

I became more active in my learning about LGBTQ history, in both films and in real life. I learned about Stonewall, The Hay's Code, and so much more in that time. I started going to pride events, and being more open about topics of sexuality and gender in college, embracing the LGBTQ community and not just passively observing/ignoring them.

Do I wish things could've gone differently? Absolutely yes. There were times during that half of 2021 when I felt so lost, where I thought proper good representation was impossible. I felt hopeless and struggled a lot mental health-wise. But I'm better now. I feel more self-assured and certain of who I am. I took the lessons I learned: There's nothing wrong with wanting or seeing Dean Winchester as a bisexual man.

And now, 3 years later, I look back on the entire ordeal, not as a fresh wound, but as a valuable scar. A reminder of how far I have come, and how far I still need to go. Misha and Bobo Barens fought tooth and nail to let Castiel be seen, and so must I.

So thanks Dean and Cas for the life lessons, and I hope one day you both do get to reunite and say all of the words you weren't allowed to say.

#text #supernatural #destiel #spn #november 5th

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misaverawrites · 2 years

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If I Only Could (I'd Make A Deal With God)(Castiel x Reader)

summary: Castiel makes the ultimate sacrifice to bring you back, even if you’d be without him.

tags: major character death, angst, hurt/comfort, kissing, tearful goodbyes, sacrifice, religious shit, after-death letter.

a/n: i didn't watch the finale lmaoooo, but i love him so like shhhh...

Castiel wasn't one to hope for much anymore.

Things had just been endlessly bleak, you were the exception for him, the one thing of his that was worth saving.

When you’d died it broke him, and he’d made the ultimate sacrifice to bring you back. Even if you’d be without him.

You felt your stomach, for the first time in months, purgatory is a bitch like that, your stomach had been in a dull ache for a while, but now? It was full, the taste of honey and fruit sitting on your lips, it was an old flavor, nostalgic. You blinked once and suddenly, you weren’t there anymore. You were home, alive moreover, with only your emotional scars to remind you that you’d even set foot in purgatory.

You’d turned around, and there he was: Castiel, clad in his suit and trench coat. Your best friend and confidant when you’d spent some time traveling with the Winchesters and when he’d lost his powers, he’d spent some time with you, settled down for a time, it was the first time in a long time that he felt he could call this world, your world home.

It was only supposed to be your home, after all, he wasn’t supposed to have been a part of it. He'd miss you, that was unspoken, the small domestic moments between you both, rare for a hunter and unspoken for an angel of God, even if a fallen one. He'd see you one last time though and that'd be enough for him, he'd sustain himself on you, if only once more.

"Cas… What did you do?" You weren't stupid, no one gets out of purgatory, not without a hefty price tag and it might not be your price tag. He shakes his head, he doesn't want to get attached to you any more than he already is. He'd be stuck with you forever if he could be, but that's not how these things go. "What had to be done, for you."

You feel the tears prick at the corner of your eyes, your exterior melting away as you suddenly grasp onto Castiel. "No, Cas… Fuck! Dammit, Cas!" Your fist pounds against his chest, ineffectually, it's more frustration, not pain. You're crying now as you sob into his trenchcoat, "I don't have much time… I do apologize, I just… I needed you to know that I love you, that's why I did this. I believe it should bring you some comfort to know that."

"But, I need you to be here, Cas! Don't you understand that?" He nods, holding you close to his body, "You'll be alright, I believe that. You're the most amazing human I've met in my time here… and while I will miss you, this world needs you more than me."

He pulls away from you, and for just a second, his eyes are wet, he's not crying as much as you however, he's content in his decision. He lifts your chin, bringing his lips to yours, the kiss is chaste and long, he wants to savor this, not the sorrow, not the anguish. This kiss, your lips against his, his hands in your hair. It's all that he wants from you now. When you part, you catch your breath, and he whispers against your lips.

"I love you, I need you to know that." You nod, staring at him, memorizing his features, his stubble scratching against your skin, the feeling of his hands, pressed into your wrists comfortingly, his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes. God, you'd miss those eyes. Then, he's gone, with only a flash of light and a black marking on the ground. He's otherwise, no longer there with you. There, you crumble.

You go pale, and the realization truly hits you in a way that is like a ton of bricks. You begin to walk, and despite the fact that your legs feel weak, you walk. Then, you run, driven only by your grief and knowledge of your surroundings, you run. Back to your home, which appears still as it was. Taken care of by Castiel. You open the door, the locks still the same as when you were alive. The house is still cozy, lived in, Castiel stayed here or at least took care of it, as did the Winchester boys. They were like your older brothers, you still missed them. You take a step into your house, and sitting on your coffee table is a letter, the back of it saying Castiel, you stare at it. You want to wait, when you lose what he sounded like when you lose the image of his eyes, you'll read that letter and it will all come back to you.

Except, you knew it wouldn't. He would still be gone, and while you knew that you'd never forget Castiel, you wouldn't quite get to hold onto those little things. This, however? This is tangible, his handwriting is on that page, his voice is still tangible in your mind, and you know he's still here. You stare at the letter as you sit down on the couch. You consider the letter, your hands shaking as you reach for it.

You grip onto the letter, trying not to ruin it too much, the envelope opens cleanly, and in it sits a letter.

I'm sorry.

I'd like to say that first in case I didn't when we reunited for however long. God, God is messy like that, kind of unorganized. You were the best thing that he ever created, that is something I know for a fact. You are the best among men, one of the most beautiful things that I have seen come from Earth, and that is why I need you to stay there until it is actually your time. I'll always be there for you, waiting but you need to continue, the world needs you and your gifts to protect it… I can wait, the world can't. That's why I did what I did, know that I will always love you and I know you'll feel the same towards me, but, I had to do it. For that, I am sorry and I love you.

Thank you for being the best person that I ever got to experience meeting on earth.

You hold the letter, setting it down on the table again. One of your last tangible pieces of Castiel. It's all you'll have for a long time and thus, you savor it. You pull out the pictures you had of him, little pieces of him and you.

The picture of you and him, in the back of the Impala, taken by Sam, you're asleep on his shoulder and him not daring to move an inch, lest you wake up.

The first photo he'd ever taken of you was less than perfect, but you'd told him that it was to you because we all have to start somewhere and because he'd taken it.

It wasn't much but, you savored these pieces, it was him after all. It was all worth savoring to you, all in its small perfection.

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sheepcoco · 1 year

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is my first time writing in english jaksuja, anyways ...

sorry if i misspelled some words, it is proofread, i read it like 89283938 times, it took 4 hours to finish no kidding........but, still, i'm sorry in advance aaa

SORRY, LAST ADVICE THE READER IS GENDER NEUTRAAAAAL (but still, sorry if it gives the wrong idea in some parts), there, done.

(if someone reads this story, thank u<3)

く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡✧⁠*⁠。

Just like heaven.

Castiel always knew, deep down, that the love he felt for you was slightly different than the kind of love he felt for Sam and Dean. There was an adrenaline rush when he was with you or his heart was like a person in a marathon when Sam and Dean mentioned you.

If you were feeling sad, he felt worse; he hated to see you hurt. He would do everything, even if it was beyond his capabilities, to make you smile. It could be something simple, like that time you mentioned how much you missed a certain food you ate a long time ago on one of your trips, and suddenly you all hear the sound of wings and clothes fluttering.

Before either of you could ask "where did cas go?", he showed up as quickly as he left, with the exact plate of food you mentioned. It was half eaten and he had to admit that he stole it from a woman while she was in the bathroom.

When you asked for an explanation, he replied: "I-...I don't know. I just wanted to do this for you."

Or that one time he healed you ten times in a day, almost passing out on the eighth time because vampires kept appearing out of nowhere, and even when he was half dead he wanted to stay by your side on that hunt. "In case you get hurt", he insisted, grabbing your shoulder as if his life depended on it so he wouldn't fall unconscious on the ground.

That night you had to carry his unconscious body to your car and to your motel room. He had to sleep forty-eight hours to recharge his energy.

You didn't plan to stay for two more days in that town, so you had to improvise to earn more money.

The attention he gave you was overwhelming to anyone but you. You always found it cute. You didn't think he was doing it with double intent, the idea that castiel might be romantically attracted to you seemed impossible, so you dismissed that thought saying: "he's doing his best to show me that he cares."

Even when everyone told you how oblivious you were.

You fell in love with him the first time you met him, even though he knocked you out with the touch of his fingers on your forehead. So, the affection he began to show you when he rebelled against heaven was welcoming, even if it was "too much".

It was never too much for you. It was never enough.

He clung to you like gum when all angels fell from heaven and he became human.

He began to feel, to hurt, and you were there for him. You never left him. For god's sake, you shook the earth and its realities to find him when Dean told you the news.

You didn't want to leave Sam and Dean alone in the hospital, but Castiel was human now, and he was alone too, but surprisingly, Dean let you go find him, calling once in a while, obviously.

You both shared the same worry for Castiel, so he felt a bit of relief when you left in order to find him.

"Wait for me in a motel while I get there!" was the only thing you said through Dean's cellphone before running out of the hospital.

He smiled for the second time that day when he heard your voice, but that time, his happiness felt more strong and passionate than ever. Like fire inside his chest, in a good way.

And even if you didn't hear him, as you were long gone, driving rapidly to his location, he muttered: "I'll wait for you." with the biggest smile his face ever had.

Dean didn't comment on the matter, as he was too worried for Sam's health at that time.

It did not matter all the obstacles, all the angels and monsters you had to fight in order to find him. It took you a while, given that he had to constantly hide and earn money to call you via public telephone. But when he did, he would cry for hours.

It was the first time he felt so alone, cold, hungry, empty. You were the only good thing in his life at the time, the only thing that kept him going.

The only thing that prevented him from kissing that woman. He thought of you, how'd you feel if you found out, how he didn't really want to kiss her, because you weren't her.

So, when you found him, alongside Dean and Sam (whom you reunited with midst your travel), lying on a couch with a blade in his chest, you felt your world shake and start to fall apart.

You don't really remember that moment, because it's too traumatic (along with other times he died). But you do remember when Dean told you about the angel Ezekiel possessing Sam, since Sam healed Cas right in front of you.

There were good and bad moments, mostly bad and horrific, but it all felt meaningless when you two were together. When Dean told Cas he couldn't live with them, you followed with him, you rented an apartment and worked together.

You even babysit together. And he still has that picture of you holding the baby as his wallpaper.

You remember that day. You told him he should go out in a date with the woman that asked him out at work, that he deserves it, even if it hurt you a little bit, but as long as he was happy you were happy, thrilled even.

But unfortunately, the woman only used him as his babysitter, so he called you.

You felt bad for him, really. You had reached a level of maturity and love that allowed you to say with confidence that, if Castiel ever fell in love with someone other than you, your heart would be so big that you would love that person too.

He never felt happier. Seeing you cook for him and smile at him as if he wasn't the one at fault for causing the angels fall from heaven.

You never complained about it, you never blamed him.

He never cared about dying, as long as you were safe and he could remember you smiling at him on the verge of death.

Being a human sure was complex and difficult at times, but you made being human something beautiful, because being able to love you was a privilege.

One night, when he saw your sleeping figure beside him, he thought: «If regaining my grace means I can't keep falling in love with you then I don't want it back, ever.»

It was the first time he admitted he loved you.

He didn't care what he was, angel, human, it didn't matter as long as he was by your side.

And he a hundred percent would have rejected his grace if it wasn't because he was dying in that moment, and he couldn't bear the thought of leaving you. But when he got it back, and was safe of danger, he thought of you, making sure he still felt that strong love for you, and when he did, he smiled, even if Metatron was now on the loose.

In the end, it was always you and him. He saved Dean from hell and you saved him.

Heck, you even went to purgatory with him because your love was so strong, you cling to his arm when you saw that Dick Roman was about to explode. You'd rather die with him than live without him.

To say every time he died destroyed you completely was an understatement.

God Cas, Crazy Cas, Leviathan Cas, Purgatory Cas, it did not matter. You loved him. You were loyal to him and only him, even if you two never expressed your feelings out loud. Everybody knew you two belong to each other.

But now that he sees you so grown and mature, being so close with Jack as if you were his parent, he wonders why hasn't the empty come take him if every second he has spent with you is his happiest day and moment.

Then he realized, when Death was knocking on the door, and you were right in front of him alongside Dean with that horrible frightened look on your face that made him want to cry and hug you, that...he could never have a happy ending with you.

He won't ever be your husband, the father of your children or your boyfriend, because he will outlive you. And his fear of not being able to save you as a human, was the only thing that stopped him from giving up being an angel.

But, seeing you now, crying as he's saying his last words, he feels at ease, because he knows that you are stronger than him, that you deserve to outlive him, because before you, his immortality had no number, nor he had age, because it was meaningless.

He, with his last breath and a smile, gives you the rest of his long days with a tender kiss on your forehead, telling you, without the need of words, that you deserve them more than he does. And you accepted them, because it was his gift.

"I love you."

"I love you, Castiel."

#supernatural imagine #castiel spn #castiel x reader #supernatural angst #spn fluff

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queen-of-deans-booty · 10 months

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I'm No Angel: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.4k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Summary: The hunt for Castiel is afoot. There are two groups looking for him: the angels and your family. Who will get to him first?

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

Your baby girl is growing up so fast. She's going to turn three soon, and you honestly don't know where the time went. It feels like just yesterday she was born, but so much has happened since she was.

Dean and Lisa broke things off, your dad died, the Leviathans were defeated, you went to purgatory, and now the angels are waging a civil war against each other. How much more can your shoulders take, and how much of it are you willing to carry for your daughters?

You want the world for Joanna, but it still has a long way to go to be perfect for her—for your whole family, in fact. These quiet little moments are heavenly, but you know they won't last.

Take now, for example.

You, Dean, and the girls are eating breakfast just trying to enjoy the morning before the shit hits the fan. Joanna is at that age where she will start to remember things, so you want her to have a party for her third birthday.

"Joanna, your third birthday is coming up soon. Do you want a party?" you ask and take a bite of food.

"I don't know anyone," she says innocently.

Suddenly, you don't feel so hungry anymore. Your shoulder sags slightly, and you feel the burden of being a mother at the same time as being a hunter. Sadness washes over you in waves, and you feel like a bad mother for keeping her away from other kids. She is almost three and she doesn't even have any friends.

"What do you want?" you finally ask.

"Princesses," she grins.

"I can make that happen," you chuckle. "What kind of presents do you want?"

"More dolls."

Her playroom is filled to the brim with dolls. It seems like no matter how many dolls you buy her, it's never enough.

"I'll get you whatever you want," Dean kisses her head when he passes by with coffee in hand. "You better make a big list for me."

"Okay Daddy," she giggles.

The metal front door opens, and Sam jogs in as if he's been up for hours. You look up and see him carrying some takeout containers in his hands. What time did he get up?

"Hey! Morning!" Sam greets and jogs down the stairs.

"How long have you been up?"

"For a few hours. I went for a run--beautiful sunrise--came back, took a shower, and got breakfast for you two--real bacon and eggs, extra grease. I'm not even going to argue," he chuckles and hands over the food to Dean.

"You went running?" Dean asks after smelling the food.

"Why do you look so worried?"

"Let's see. I told Cas to haul ass over here three days ago, and he's not here. Not to mention, there's you."

"Me? I feel great."

"I'm sure you do, Sam, but you went through the trials," you say. "That put a big strain on you. You should take it easy. We still don't know the full extent of the damage inside you."

Sam's demeanor changes and his eyes shine bright blue as the angel inside of him takes over.

"Sam is doing very well, and he does feel better," Ezekiel informs. "He's a work in progress, of course, but I am slowly healing him."

You're still not used to the way Ezekiel can go from himself to Sam in the blink of an eye, so it takes you and Dean some time to process what just happened.

"That's great, but Sam--"

"I have some news," the angel cuts him off. "I've picked up chatter among the angels. Not all are wandering around in confusion."

"Yeah, some of them are after Castiel."

"There is a faction that is rapidly organizing and finding human vessels to contain them. It's this faction's leadership who wants Castiel found. You see, Dean, I can be useful."

"So can my brother. Why don't you go check your email, and If I need your help, I'll let you know."

That's Dean's way of saying "sit down and shut the fuck up".

"Dean--"

"He said he'll let you know," you say with a glare.

Ezekiel knows when he isn't wanted, so he quickly slips back into Sam's mind.

"I mean, you know, Cas is human now. It's gonna take him a lot longer to travel," Sam says as if no time has passed.

Yeah, this isn't confusing at all.

"I'm going to get whiplash," Dean mutters to himself, but you hear him.

"What?"

"Nothing. Alright, so, I was thinking that if the angels are organizing, then that makes them a lot more dangerous than we thought."

"Why do you think they're organizing?" Sam asks, confused.

Dean knows he's slipped up, and you quickly cover his tracks so he doesn't give anything away.

"It makes sense, Sam," you stand. "If they organize and become a bigger group, then more of them can go after Castiel. We have to find him."

"Alright, I'll get started."

Sam grabs his laptop and leaves the room. Joanna finishes her food and runs after Sam to be with him. Maryann is in the baby rocker, sleeping since you woke her up pretty early. Without Joanna here, you lose the facade. You sigh deeply and put your head in your hands.

"What's wrong?"

"Not only do I feel like a bad mom, but this whole Sam/Ezekiel thing is going to turn on us sooner or later. He's going to keep questioning how we know things, and he'll figure it out. He'll hate us. He doesn't want this, and the longer it goes on, the more he'll hate us."

"You let me worry about that," Dean says and takes a seat next to you. "What's this about you being a bad mom? You're the best I know."

"Joanna should have friends," you sniffle. "She should be having playdates and going out to the park. She's almost three, and all she's done in her life is go on hunts with us. I wish we could have a nanny who knew about the supernatural and who could live here and take care of the kids while we're gone. That way, they'd actually get to have a normal life."

"If making sure they're fed, happy, and have a roof over their heads makes you a bad mom, then I'm a bad dad."

"Just one more year, and she can go to preschool and make friends."

"How is she going to go to school if we're hunting every day?"

"She will get an education, Dean. She will have a life outside of hunting even if it means I have to stop. I refuse to let her grow up in the way we did."

Dean knows there is no point in arguing with you, and he will cross this bridge when he comes to it. Joanna has another year until she is allowed into preschool. Well, the CDC says a child can enroll as early as three, but you're not even close to being prepared for that. You're going to wait until she is four, and then you'll start to look for schools around the Lebanon area.

Maryann wakes from her mini nap and begins crying, and even from where you're at, you can smell that she needs a change. You pick her up and soothe her while on the way to her nursery. Once you finish changing her and getting her dressed, you make sure Joanna is dressed and ready to go. After that, you get dressed, and you all meet in the library where Sam is still doing research.

"Did you find anything?" you ask and prop Maryann on your left hip.

Joanna is on the floor playing with Zeus, and she giggles when he licks her hands. Dean is sitting at the table with Sam, pouring over a map of Colorado and the surrounding states. There are radius circles drawn in intervals around the last location you knew Castiel was in: Colorado.

"Alright, so Cas called from Longmont, Colorado on Tuesday. Each circle is how far he might have gotten in one, two, and three days out," Dean says.

"The same day he called from Longmont, someone reported a weird murder in the same town. The cops said it was like the girl was blasted from the inside out."

"That's an angel kill. Let's hope they missed him," you say hopefully.

"Unless they got him," Dean sighs.

"Mama, where's Uncle Cassie?" Joanna asks.

"We're looking for him, sweetie. We'll bring him home."

"Do you have Emery Park in Iowa marked on your map?" Sam asks as he types.

"Yes. It's a couple of days outside Longmont."

"I only ask because two priests were murdered there on Thursday with eyes blown out and evidence of torture. They were impaled on posts," Sam whispers since Joanna is still here.

"They're looking for information," you sigh. "If they get to him before we do..."

"Yeah, we better go."

"Come on, baby. Let's go save Uncle Cassie," you say and grab Joanna's hand.

The first place you travel to is Emery Park in Iowa, which is about five hours from the Bunker. Castiel was in Colorado when you last heard from him, and in order to get to Emery Park, you'd have to pass Kansas. He was headed to the Bunker, realized he was being followed, and continued on to keep the Bunker's location a secret.

You have to find him quickly or else the other angels will kill him for doing what he thought was right.

Emery Park is a nice and quiet town, and if you had to guess where Castiel might have ended up, it would be at a church. Sam is with the kids in the car while you and Dean talk to the groundskeeper for St. Anne's Cathedral. You didn't even have to try hard. As soon as you described the man you're looking for, everything else fell into place.

"Yeah, I think I know this guy you're talking about. It sounds like Clarence."

"Clarence?" you ask.

"This church runs a shelter in town, and we work here to earn our keep. Clarence spent a couple of nights here before he had to move on."

"He left the day the bodies were found?"

"Yeah. Man, those poor guys were a mess. They must have suffered badly," he sighs. "At least they're with the angels."

"I sure as hell hope not," Dean mutters. "Did Clarence happen to mention where he was headed?"

"No. He just said he had to keep going."

"I appreciate you talking to us. Thank you," you smile tightly.

You and Dean leave his side and head back to the car where Sam is typing on his laptop. Joanna is playing with her dolls, and Maryann is sleeping in her car seat.

"Alright, he's definitely been here," Dean says when you two get in the car. "The good news is he's getting cagey. He's using a fake name--Clarence."

"That's what Meg used to call him. Of course, he doesn't get that that's the name of a pretty famous angel." You and Dean look at him with weird looks, and he gives you both the bitch face. "It's A Wonderful Life." Still, nothing. "Seriously?"

"What did you come up with?" you quickly change the topic.

"Another angel was killed outside a town called Lafayette which is about a day's travel east of here."

"Is that in Indiana?"

"Yeah. The body was found at a homeless camp. The weird thing about it is he was a pharmacist from Dayton. He wasn't homeless."

Lafayette is six hours from Emery Park, which makes the total amount of hours driven to find Castiel, eleven. That is half a day you've been searching for the former angel, and that doesn't include all the stops. You had to take a small break to eat and rest before continuing, and you reached Lafayette right before sundown.

Joanna and Maryann already had their naps, so they are both wide awake when you walk into the police station with the brothers. Maryann is in the stroller while Joanna walks beside it holding one of her dolls. Sam had called the police chief to let him know you'd be coming, so they jumped right into the situation at hand.

"It's the damnedest thing I've ever seen. The vic had a stab wound but it's not what killed him. It's like his insides were--I can't even find the word."

"Vaporized?" Dean asks. "It's been going around. So, this guy was a pharmacist?"

"Apparently. He was a total family man, and he was religious. One day, he just hops in the SUV, takes off, and dies under a bridge from God knows what." The police chief walks you over to the evidence locker where they have all of his belongings. He gives your children a side-eye, but he doesn't comment on why they are here. "This is his stuff. Help yourselves."

"Thank you."

He leaves, and you dig into the two plastic bags to see if anything will tell you where Castiel is. The things inside the bags are pretty standard such as a wallet, keys, a watch, a pen, etc. Sam picks up the man's miniature Bible while Dean goes through his cell phone.

"Did you find anything?" you ask and keep your kids close.

"Nothing weird. There's a ton of shitty music and a lot of video podcasts of the same person: Reverend Buddy Boyle's 'Goin' for Glory Hour'."

"The chief did say he was religious."

Dean plays one of Buddy's podcasts but keeps the volume low to not disturb anyone else. The video is of someone who looks like they dressed up as a priest instead of actually being one. His hair is too slicked back to be a real priest.

"Join me in a heapin' helpin' of glory, friends," he says with too wide of a smile on his face. "When you're in the presence of the divine, you'll know it. If you let yourself, you'll hear it." Dean skips most of the video. "So, remember, when angels come a-knocking, let 'em on in."

"Angels can't possess a human without permission, right?" Sam asks.

It's like the weight on your shoulders gets heavier because you hate lying to Sam about the angel inside of him, and you hate how you tricked him into doing it.

"Yep," Dean says curtly.

"So, what, they're using this guy to find vessels?"

"It's a willing audience. They're all religious types like our pharmacist here. Buddy Boyle was telling them to let the angels take them over. How big a reach does this Boyle guy have?"

Sam does a quick search on Google, and the first thing that pops up is "Global Influence" from Buddy's website. There are red dots in virtually every major city in the entire world.

"Pretty much the entire planet," Sam sighs.

"The only way we're going to get information about Castiel is if we ask the homeless shelters around town. We should start with the nearest one," you suggest.

You three finish up before leaving the police station with your kids.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural fiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural angst #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fiction #dean winchester fan fiction #dean winchester fanfic #supernatural series rewrite #series rewrite #spn season 9

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fanfic-corner · 1 year

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Destiel Emotional Hurt/Comfort Fics

Hello everyone! Beating our favourite characters up just so they can be fixed up again nicely is brilliant, but I also love fics that explore the emotional side of hurt/comfort, since it's often easier to fix a bullet wound than a broken heart. So, I hope you enjoy today's list of fics which mentally beat our favourite characters up!

Please note that a lot of these fics contain heavy subjects, so please make sure to read all of the warnings and tags before reading and take care of yourself!

choices. by scoundrelhan (1.1k)

Castiel thinks he’s dying. Humans are always doing that.

Exposed to What You Hide by SailorChibi (1.8k)

"We think Cas is a procubus," Sam blurted out. Then he winced and yelped when Charlie kicked him under the table. "Ow!"

"Smooth, Sam," Charlie snapped.

Dean looked back and forth between them, realizing that they were both 100% serious. "A procubus."

"Basically it's the sexless version of an incubus or a succubus," Charlie explained before Sam could. "It's... it's a demon that kills people by sleeping with them." She was chewing on her thumbnail now, eyes big and apologetic. Sam had done one better pasting on a truly epic kicked puppy expression of apology.

"You think Cas is killing people by cuddling with them," Dean said, just to be sure.

Could Not Return You by tigersinlondon (2.8k)

Dean struggles to commit to a long term relationship with Cas, even though he knows he's in it for the long haul. Cas helps tease out what's holding him back, and provides some much-needed reassurance.

You are my home by Desirae (4.7k)

Things have settled down since rescuing Sam. Mary is bonding with her sons, and Castiel is nearly back to full capacity, just needing a little sleep here and there. When Dean discovers Cas' unusual resting spot, what starts as a series confessions leads to the emotional healing they both needed.

Stories Are Made of Mistakes by wildhoneypie (4.9k)

In which Cas is human and doesn't understand basic concepts like: clothing, Mythbusters, moisturizer, and Greek food. Dean is...Dean and doesn't understand basic concepts like: boyfriends, language, how to tell your friend that he's a walking miracle, and when not to quip.

Enhanced Extraction Techniques by goldenraeofsun (5.7k)

The Empty takes Meg’s shape, Samandriel’s, Duma’s, every one of the thousands of angels Cas killed up in heaven. But in the middle of lecturing Cas in the form of Balthazar, it explodes in a burst of light and sound.

Dean Winchester stands in the aftermath.

Event Horizon by Winglesss (6.4k)

Castiel couldn't have helped his sister. That's why being offered a chance to help somebody else dealing with suicidal thoughts he took it without hesitation.

When he gets the first text from someone who needs his help, nothing goes as he expected.

broken when I'm lonesome by SailorChibi (7k)

After being saved from hell, Dean's old methods of coping aren't working anymore: he's not sexually attracted to anyone, and he's not interested in sex no matter how many times he climbs into bed with hot, naked women.

Sam is convinced that his brother is just depressed, but Dean knows this goes deeper than that. He still craves the intimacy that can make him feel safe.

Fortunately, Castiel is there to both understand and provide.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime (7.8k)

Maybe it’s the cynic in him. The hunter, always under the surface of any quietude he ever found. Or maybe it’s just that he has always had trouble with blind faith. But after a while (a blink? A decade? A century?), Dean raises his eyebrows, looks around, and says—

“Uh. No.”

It’s so close. Just so slightly imperfect. And maybe, he analyzes, maybe that’s the final knell of this bell called contentment. Dean’s experience with happiness has always been that last rise in the road, right before it turns. Right before fate comes barreling around the corner head on.

He turns in his spot on the bridge, and suddenly Sam is like a cellophane film through which he can see the light streaming, and the taste of cheap beer on his tongue is much, much older a memory than it should be.

“Oh, you’re good,” he says, and means it.

The Beginning by Princess_Aleera (17k)

Where a mission goes horribly wrong, and Castiel gets his wings plucked off for it.

That Black Dog Ache by SaltyWords (28k)

A simple case turns Dean upside down as he attempts to deal with the effects of a particularly strange love spell.

First Gentleman Wanted by youaresunlight (31k)

President of the United States Castiel Novak is popular, charismatic, and knee-deep in campaigning for a second term. He’d be the ideal candidate if it weren’t for the fact that he hasn’t dated once while in political office. With his opponent’s relentless PR team calling him incapable of emotional commitment, Castiel’s staff decides to remedy the situation by finding their boss a fake, picture-perfect boyfriend. And when Dean Winchester enters the scene, he and Cas become America’s new favorite couple, except they’ve got a whole lot of history between them and complicated feelings to resolve.

Just Like You by imherecauseimnotallthere98 (35k)

When John shows up at their door in the middle of the night, the Winchesters and Cas start looking into who or what could have brought him back. Meanwhile, Dean struggles to keep his relationship with Cas a secret from his father, with some help from Sam. The tension rises between the Winchesters as Dean shows John that he is no longer the obedient little soldier he once was, and tries to establish himself as an equal with his dad.

Rewriting the Book by MonPetitTresor (37k)

When Sam gets a little too close to stopping Metatron’s plans, the angel decides to use some of his extra juice to get Sam out of his way by sending him to a completely different reality. He never could’ve predicted what Sam might find there – or what he might bring back home with him.

Wild by Castielslostwings (67k)

Castiel and Dean meet for the first time on a plane ride out of Nowhere, Alaska. Castiel’s headed home after an impulsive solo vacation and Dean, a hardened Alaskan native, is just trying to get out of the impossibly small town he grew up in that’s got nothing left to offer him. They forge an instant connection over Dean’s flying anxiety and whiskey, a meet-cute that has all the makings of a rom-com with a sickeningly sweet happy ending. That is, until their plane explodes in mid-air, crashing headlong into the Alaskan wilderness and killing everyone on board save for Dean and Castiel. When no rescue shows up to save them, the two men are forced to make some tough decisions. To make it home alive they’ll have to trust each other and find faith neither of them has ever really wanted. Will they survive or succumb to the unforgiving mountain wilderness? And will their journey tear them apart... or bring them closer together?

carry on by foolondahill17 (91k)

God is dead. Sammy finally has what he always wanted. The kid is alive again and trying to figure out the whole human schtick. Cas – Cas is complicated, like always. And Dean is barreling headfirst into a mental breakdown. It’s the end of the road so far, and the future never looked so frightening.

The House on the Ocean Road by coffeeandcas (111k)

Dean Winchester is on the run from his life. He's done something unforgivable, and can't face his family or friends ever again. So he does what any rational person would do: fakes his own death and vanishes into the ether.

Wandering aimlessly along country roads, he succumbs to the elements during a violent storm and wakes up hours later in the home of a stranger: a single dad living alone in an isolated beach house, with a haunting past of his own. Cas is sweet and shy, but welcomes Dean into his home and tells him he can stay as long as he needs, never prying into his life or asking him to spill his secrets.

As they rapidly forge a close friendship, Dean finds that the quiet life by the ocean with Cas is exactly what he's been dreaming of. He only hopes his past never catches up with him.

Bound To You by Chipper99 (128k)

Faced with death, Dean makes one last ditch effort: praying to an Angel he knows wont hear him. Deans prayers are answered when a vessel-less Castiel forces himself out from the Empty, taking possession of Dean's body in order to heal him. Castiel's grace is running finite however, charged down after saving Dean's life. Now Castiel resides within Dean's mind, too weak to survive a transfer to another vessel, leading them to a desperate search for a way to rebuild his body. Time is of the essence, with Castiel's grace burning out with every passing day...

Four Letter Word For Intercourse by bendingsignpost (194k)

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties.

What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right?

(It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

I hope you enjoy reading these fantastic fics!! And thank you to the amazing authors for sharing them with us. If you ever have any requests for a fic rec list, please let me know!

tag list under the cut! ask to be added or removed :D

@summer1066 // @goncharovcum

#destiel #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #spn #fic recs #emotional hurt/comfort #ao3 #long post #lina lore #suicide mention

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awakenthemusic · 2 years

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Suptober 2022 Day 18 - Tattoos

Destiel, Short fic, 674 words

Dean and Cas decide to get matching tattoos.

Under the cut or on Ao3

Tattoos

Dean shuddered as Cas gazed into his soul while the whir of the tattoo gun hummed in his ears. He thanked his lucky stars that the tattoo artist was so focused on their work and hadn't noticed that Dean was half hard in his jeans as Cas' eyes burned possessively into him.

Oddly enough, the whole thing had started with an argument…

*****

"If you really wanted me all those years ago, why did you heal your handprint?" Dean shouted, then flushed as he realized what had just left his mouth. Even though they'd been together for several months, he still got itchy when he circled too close to how pathetically he needed Cas.

Cas glared at him and yelled back, “You made it clear that you were going to go live with Lisa—"

“Well, you said you were going to fuck off to heaven! I thought I’d never see you again!”

Cas visibly gritted his teeth and said, “Then once again you underestimated how much I would give to stay by your side for all of time.”

Dean’s face burned so hotly he could feel it all the way up to his ears. He cleared his throat and shuffled uncomfortably as he tried to come up with something to say.

Cas gently said, “I never wanted to leave you, Dean, but you’d given me no reason to think you wanted me to stay.”

Dean ducked his head. He knew that he was being unreasonable. He knew that he was just as much to blame for their inability to communicate all these years, he just…

Cas asked quietly, “Why does the loss of the brand bother you so much?”

“I dunno, man, I just… It just does okay?”

Cas squinted at him, tilting his head in that adorable way he always did when he was trying to work out what the hell Dean was trying to say. “Dean,” He asked hesitantly. “Did you like having a physical representation of our bond?”

Impossibly, Dean’s face flushed even redder. He turned away from Cas, though he knew it was too late to hide.

Cas suddenly appeared directly in front of him. Cas placed a hand on Dean’s chest and shoved. Dean’s back hit the end of the bookcase behind him and before Dean could say more than, “Cas, what the f—” Cas’ mouth crashed into his.

It wasn’t a gentle thing, this kiss was all fire and possession spelled out with teeth and tongue. Dean moaned into it and clung to Cas’ trench coat for dear life.

Cas fitted his hand over Dean’s left shoulder, and a pulse of heat shot from Cas’ hand down to Dean’s core. Dean gasped and pulled away from Cas, suddenly feeling that there wasn’t enough air in the room as stars burst in front of his eyes.

When his vision cleared, he found Cas grinning at him with a wicked glint in his eyes. He said, far too calmly for how hot and bothered Dean felt, “I only healed your skin, Dean. Your soul has always carried the mark of my grace, even when I was human and could no longer sense it.”

Dean’s mind spun.

Cas looked thoughtful. He hummed, “I do like the idea of a physical sign of our bond, though. If you’d be interested, I have an idea…”

*****

Which was how Dean had found himself at a tattoo parlor getting inked up with a mix of regular ink and a bit of both Cas’ grace and a tiny piece of Dean’s soul.

Cas had gone first, finally getting an anti-possession tattoo to match the tattoos Dean and Sam had had for years. His tattoo had an added string of Enochian around it, which nearly matched the inscription Dean was adding to his own tattoo.

Dean glanced down at the glyphs that had once looked so strange and foreign. They twined together over his heart and even though most people wouldn’t be able to read it, they spelled out for all the world to see, “Beloved of Castiel.”

#suptober22 #destiel #fanfic #fanfiction #spn #supernatural #castiel #dean winchester

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castieldelamancha · 9 months

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Dean considers these days, with Cas back by his side, the best days of his life,

and still,

it isn't all a path of roses, easy and joyful. Dean didn't expect it to be, he isn't that much of an idiot. They still have their nightmares, their sorrow, their need for space and their fear of losing it all. They argue sometimes, too. Specially because of Dean's mother hen tendencies when it comes to Cas. That's what they have been arguing about for the last ten minutes anyway.

"I might not be an angel anymore but I can take care of myself just fine," Dean opens his mouth, he is going to say he knows that but he doesn't get the chance to do so, Castiel gives him a look, shutting him up rather effectively "don't you dare say you already know that, it's not what I am seeing from you."

"I worry, man, I don't think that's a crime," Dean flops down on a nearby chair, not minding one bit the fact he is getting mud and blood all over it, "you are human now, and our lives are way more fragile than we would like them to be I, Cas, I can't-" his words die in his throat, he looks away, he takes a deep breath.

He doesn't need to finish the sentence for Cas to understand, he always does, suddenly he is standing in front of Dean, using his hand to tilt his chin up, his expression has soften as has his tone.

"I want to be your equal," he says, "walk this path hand in hand with you, I don't want to be hiding behind you, I need you to understand that."

Dean shoulders sag down as the annoyance he was feeling leaves his body, annoyance at Cas risking his life for him, annoyance at Cas because he decided not to follow the plan, annoyance at Cas' rejection of his well intended worry. There is a new anger rising in the pit of his stomach. This one addressed at himself, there is a trace of sadness too.

How dare him try to turn Cas into a shadow, a being full of so much light? Not the light of his power, the one now gone, the light of his will to fight, the light of a heart that loves without limits, the light of his bravery, of his laughter and passion.

He is scared, so scared, of losing him again, "I understand, I know we've talked about this before and I know I've failed you, because I told you I was going to back up, but I haven't, you saved my ass, and for that I thank you, it's just," he tilts his head as Cas' hand moves from his chin to his cheek, he won't let Castiel tell him his life isn't worth more than Dean's, as he always does, "I failed you, that first time, and I don't want to do so again, I've even seen how I failed human you and myself too in other parallel reality," he saw Castiel lose himself completely, he made him promise he wouldn't change, Castiel doesn't say anything, already familiar with the things Dean saw in that world Zachariah sent him to.

"You know better than anyone that this world, this human life, it all comes with a price and that price is pain, not always, but it's a part of it, I am being as careful as I can, and I need you to trust me. I am still myself, just not as durable as I was before."

"I do, I trust you," Dean rushes to say, getting up from the chair to stand in front of Cas, his hand still on his cheek, Dean reaches with his own closing it over Castiel's, "with my life, you know that."

"There is a big difference between this time and those other two and that difference is us, we are together in a way that makes us stronger, we head side by side into battle, we love each other in a way those other versions of ourselves couldn't, you haven't failed me, you are here, that's enough, you are enough, you haven't failed me," he repeats again, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"I won't hold as tightly, I will let you breathe," and that's a promise he plans to keep, he won't make Castiel regret his humanity, he won't push him away, never again as he has done before.

He won't let go, though, he won't let Cas fall, and by the small smile that has appeared on Cas' face he can tell he knows what Dean is thinking.

Castiel's hand leaves his cheek and moves to the back of his neck pulling him closer so they can share a hug.

"I am scared too, Dean, I would love to be able to protect you from any harm, but you know you wouldn't like it the other way around, it wouldn't be fair, not to you or to me or to the both of us as a team."

Dean only nods, his arms wrapped around Castiel, they are a team, Castiel deserves his trust not his fear.

#destiel #long post #ficlet #vanessa writes ✨#i uhm well yeah here you go #¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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