#and god bless my mutuals x other people who also read the shit that I produce

[from-izzy]

[17:58] | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x gn!reader (proofread a couple of times but pls tell me if i missed something!)​ » TROPE/AU​: friends to ??, friends to strangers, friends to 'just classmates', miscommunication (?) trope, i'm sorry i have no idea how to explain this tbh..., high school au!, non-idol au! » GENRE​: angsty hurt but fluffy comfort, 'friendship' breakup (with the intention of coming back together when time is right!), they both say "i love you" to each other and it's meant to be platonic but it can be interpreted romantically, if you do interpret it romantically then mutual pining that is somewhat figured out in the end???, sunwoo is also very comforting, loving, patient and understanding to reader's own worries and trusts reader in their personal journey as they figures out their own hardships in life » WORD COUNT: 3576​ » ESTIMATED READING TIME: 13 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): hardships with past relationships with others, anxiety and fear regarding making bonds with other people, running away as a mechanism to escape reality

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

how blessed i am to have you beside me when real life doesn't work out. how blessed i am to be able to go on the main chat and just be myself. how blessed i am to be able to call you my friends. how blessed i am to be accepted by people over the internet, who ended up supporting me in one of the hardest times of my life.

i love you all. i'm sorry that i'm unable to include everyone but i hope you know that in friendship groups, everyone has an effect on one another. even if person a isn't close to person c, person b may be the reason why you're still in the same group together. we all influence each other and i love you all so much.

i'm so sorry for everything.

"So what? That's it?"

The solemn tone in his voice makes the hues of orange and pink in the sky behind him take away the beauty of the scene you both love. It seemed that even the birds that would usually sing beautifully at this time stopped as soon as you opened the door of your house, knowing well who used his entire fist to bang on your door.

Sunwoo's bangs stuck to his forehead well, showing the physical exertion that his body took to get to your house. His school blouse is half untucked and you realise that maybe he rushed out of gym class in the last period because of his mismatched buttons and how his tie wasn't around his collar properly. His eyes flared with a hint of sadness though the confusion and anger masked most of the emotion behind. Your eyes diverted down to his untied shoelace. Usually, you would scold him and he would give that annoying smile to you, shrugging his shoulders and being completely relaxed whilst answering you with a "You're going to do it for me anyways." Judging by his slumped-over school bag, you guessed that he probably threw it to your 'welcome' carpet as soon as he arrived—even though he knew that he probably wasn't considering that you've been avoiding his entire presence for a whole month.

But even when Sunwoo looks at you with that heartbroken gaze straight to your tired, cold eyes, you don't utter any words to him. The slight bounce of your head made him turn his head away, clenched fists beside his body. You also found your arms crossing around your waist, palms hooked around your figure and your fingers wrapped around your body to ground the tears that you knew would flow if you didn't keep telling yourself to 'keep it together'.

"Don't you think I deserve some kind of explanation?" 

Just from a glance at him, you note the tiredness on his face even with his furrowed eyebrows. Not once did he raise his voice at you even though you can see how he's holding back with how tense his jaw is.

"God, Sunwoo." You exclaim to him with a sarcastic laugh after, "I get that we literally became the best of friends as soon as we met two months ago but shit happens and you can't expect an explanation for everything that happens."

"Of course not!" Sunwoo's voice rises though it doesn't seem to shock you. "Shit happens, I know! But at the same time, I never thought our friendship was so weak and insignificant that you could ignore me for more than a month. I know you read my messages! The app can't show me that but I know!"

"Ok fine, I did!" You spill the truth that you've been holding back. "What are you going to do about it? They’re my messages, not yours!"

Sunwoo didn't know how to counter that. Maybe there wasn't a way to counter the statement because it's true. But you both knew that the unresponded messages were only the tip of the iceberg of why Sunwoo finally decided to confront you for your isolation from him.

"What happened?" Fragile and weak, shoulder dropping closer to the ground, "Talk to me. I'm here for you."

And he breaks. 

The tears that he only released in his bedroom were finally showing itself. He didn't think that it would be infront of you first. He thought that maybe his other friends would see it first but that one tear that escaped was the start of his waterfall. 

"You wouldn't understand." You slightly scowl at the innocent boy, forcing the words between your teeth, "I mean that wholeheartedly and not from some cliche teen romance movie shit." 

The venomous response he gets to his genuine question only makes Sunwoo frown further and he verbally starts to express the tears from his eyes. Seeing him cry and swallow down his whimpers struck a chord in your own confusing heart as well.

The truth is that you're scared. 

You're scared as hell.

You're scared of the fact that even though you met Sunwoo two months ago, you grew so fast to him.

There were days that sometimes he would understand you more than your best friend of five years.

Do you know how scary that is? 

To connect with someone so fast that sometimes all you want to do after a long day is to text them about all the minuscule things to the bigger things that would make your jaw drop.

To open that messaging app, spam him with short sentences, and feel the guilt of passing the dot beside the other messages that your other friends sent first, to just open your conversation with him first?

The confusion that you finally felt at home with someone so quickly and that you felt that when you never expected it to happen? All you ever wanted from your relationship with others was to be included.

Kim Sunwoo did just that in a span of a month compared to five years.

You would spend nights figuring out how it happened but no matter how much you thought of it, you couldn't find that one specific message and timestamp both in your phone or memories of how you would wake up and just hope for a chaotic message from him. 

One mutual turned to two, which turned to three and the euphoric feeling increased exponentially. However, so did the fear escalated further when you got included in the group chat with the friends that he had before you both met. 

You have always been amazed at their friendship. Despite the small age difference here and there between each person, despite using honorifics to still respect that age gap, it never stopped the radiant chaoticness that they brought everywhere they went, in everything they did. Their personalities that are so different but work together so well to the point that it makes you believe that opposites do attract.

Their differing body clocks that would mean that the group chat never dies no matter where the clock hands land. Being able to connect with them, making genuine bonds through all the bullying (that is full of love), heart-to-heart or supportive conversations, relatable life struggles relating to schoolwork and living, fangirling about their achievements in life, asking for help with things that you’re confused about, the fun flirtings that would leave the others speechless—you realise that this is all you've ever wanted and the fact that you received it when you were at your lowest guard, scared every single part of you.

The very first few moments when you came, you were jealous of their bond, wondering how they became so close even through their differences. Then, as time passed and you inserted yourself in the conversations, it felt like you were flying across a cloudless sky, feeling reassured that your wings wouldn't get wet from the rain. After, you became scared of your presence with them, scared of ultimately breaking them apart.

But, do you know the irony of it all? 

You were the one who decided to ignore not only Sunwoo but every single kind-hearted person there. No one pushed that on you. But whenever they would post their photos on the group chat for distribution, reminisce their memories together, or when you would hear one of them talk about it with people outside the group chat, you find yourself jealous and hurt that you weren't part of it all.

Does anyone understand the confusion, guilt, self-hate and pain that it all brings?

"How do you know if I would understand or not if all you've done is left me on read in an app that can't even tell me that?"

Your breath hitches and your voice box only lets out a small gasp. Everything Sunwoo is saying is correct because everything is due to your insecurities and fear that everything will just fall apart. You truly believe in the fact that nothing lasts forever. That belief alone is the reason why you have trouble making friends.

Because for you, why would you put yourself in so much happiness that your cheeks would hurt from the laughter and smiles when you know that everything would end anyway?

But at the same time, your heart is trying to pull you in the opposite direction. Because in a similar logic, if you know that nothing lasts forever, why can't you just accept that fact and cherish him, the memories and the times that you could potentially spend together?

"Sunwoo," right now, you allowed the facts to speak out for you, refusing to follow what you truly wanted, "you have been blessed with the most lovely, encouraging and supportive group of friends. You and me," your index finger points to your chest after pointing at his, "we have experienced totally different friendships."

Sunwoo is beyond confused. Of course, he would be. You've never even given him a chance to understand your experiences. What you did was isolate yourself from him and the group chat that has given you hope that maybe, just maybe, this is your group of people. Your heart broke beyond what you could even comprehend when some of them personally sent a message to you, asking your whereabouts and hoping that you were doing well. On lonely nights as you monitor the cheerful group chat, all you can do is intertwine your hands together around your phone, the tips of your fingers turning white due to the pressure as you hold yourself back from including yourself in the fun conversation.

"Sorry but maybe I'm just not ready."

Sunwoo watches your blank stare, your eyes that used to be so full of glimmer and happiness are now void. He took in the fact that you were probably half-conscious at the current moment as you just stared at whatever was just above his shoulder in the distance but he didn't need to turn around to know that you were not focusing on anything in particular.

He wipes the tears that clouded his view of you before carefully asking, "For what?" 

Your shoulders rise but they hold their position for a second longer before falling back down, "For whatever this friendship is."

Your eyes catch the way his eyebrows crash together as well as the audible nervous gulp and shaky lips, "Is our friendship just 'whatever' to you now?" The volume decreases with each word in the question.

The heaviness in your heart that you carried the past month started to take its toll on your head and you closed your eyes to focus on the chilling wind hitting your face. Sunwoo watches quietly, still waiting patiently for you to ground yourself back to the present. The boy watches your arms untangle from your chest, dropping back to the side of your body and he finds himself wishing that if he stepped forward and opened his arms, you would reciprocate the same loving action back. 

But he knew you wouldn't. Not now when you flutter your eyes open so delicately with an emotion that he has never seen from you.

"I'll always love you, Sunwoo.” 

These are the words that manage to both break and put the pieces of his heart back together. There is no way he could admit it to you now, especially with how things are going but deep down in the lonely past month that he spent, it’s the exact words that he has been waiting and wanting to say to you as he wishes that he could hear it back from you. Now that he has heard it straight from you, not through written text or a voice message, but face to face, his world starts to rebuild itself slowly.

You both only focused on each other’s faces like it would be the last time you both would ever be able to do so. You straighten your back, no longer slumping and cowering away in fear now that you’ve said the words that have always been on your mind. With your slightly newfound confidence and a somewhat lighter heart, Sunwoo sees a bit of colour start to paint your once-pale skin. Your slightly pink cheeks that are in the same beautiful shade as your lips. Your eyelashes that flutter silently in the cold weather around you—and he finds himself wanting to bring your body in a hug to bring some warmth for you both—and finally, your eyes that held all the stories, ones spoken and unspoken, the same ones that he would eventually find himself thanking the teacher for assigning your seat next to his. 

In the silence that held many meanings for you both, you observe your best friend as well. Your neck tilts slightly to accommodate the height difference, watching how some of his bangs are now free from his sweat and are now in a mess due to the wind, his big round eyes that would disappear mischievously whenever he would tease you about something, only to soon have his bright, wide smile mirrored back to your face. You realise now more than ever that you may never see that cute gummy smile of his anytime soon. 

But you needed to be true to yourself. You needed to figure out your feelings first before you could commit to another friendship that could tear you apart once again. 

You needed to learn to love yourself again before you could go and introduce yourself to others.

Through your friendship with Sunwoo, though short and sweet but still special, you promise that after this, you will never put someone else in this kind of feeling ever again. Things would change from now on and there’s very little that you can do regarding your friendship with Sunwoo now, especially when you were the one who made the mess.

Maybe now after this revelation, he wouldn’t want to be near you anymore or maybe he will wait for you. Maybe he won’t tap on your shoulder anymore during class when you’re dazing off into the gloomy sky and just let you get in trouble with your teacher who will have called your name multiple times. Maybe as he passes by the hallway, his arms around his friends, he won’t even spare you a glance, reserving his smile for just them instead.

But again, there’s nothing you can do now. The words have been said and actions regarding the words have already been carried out.

Did you regret it? 

The shortest and fastest answer: Yes. 

Maybe you could’ve just come clean and told him how you feel. Sunwoo would then do that thing where you both would walk to the nearby park by the school and listen to your rants patiently, straightening and bending his legs as he sits on the swing to give him a bit of momentum, nodding thoughtfully to your worries. Then after, he would stretch his arm from behind the chains and pat your slumped back rhythmically. Just like every single time after that, you would both go for a bubble tea run before Sunwoo would panic text you about an assignment or homework that he forgot to complete and you would panic with him, helping him through the all-nighter that you both have gotten concerningly used to.

…gosh, why didn’t you just do that?

If this friendship was going to end anyway, why didn’t you take the easier, non-confusing, less painful way for the both of you? Why did you have to drag others through so much heartbreak just because of your cowardice? Why did you have to be so unthoughtful and unfair to everything and everyone that you genuinely love? You don't care if you have to get hurt as long as they're fine.

Please…just not them.

You are so unfair, unkind and selfish. He was the one pulling the weight of the friendship and you led him on blindly with that fake smile of yours, pretending that everything was fine. The audacity of you to even wish during the times when you cried alone underneath the blanket that he would forgive you. 

You wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t—that thought also extended to your other ten dear friends too.

A few more minutes pass and you are the one who breaks the prolonged eye contact after putting the features of his face into your memory. Sunwoo could only let out a solemn smile, his feet planted still on the ground even though his legs shook a little bit and he clasped his hands together infront of him, looking down at the grey pavement of your entrance for the first time since he arrived.

“Okay.”

The words seemed more permanent than both of you liked but it was the only response that Sunwoo could give to you at the moment. He missed the way you dropped your head to face the ground. Your body moves to lean over to one side of the doorframe, both your hands reaching over to clench the white metal to keep your posture and emotions somewhat stable.

The bag that was in your field of vision gets dragged away from your figure and you know from the shadow that Sunwoo is dusting off the dirt, ready to walk away for the day—from the friendship that you ruined. The sun behind him has almost fully hidden itself behind the taller buildings that you would have always thanked whenever you were in your room, wanting to get away from its scorching heat and intense light but now, you wished it would stay around longer…just a little bit longer. 

But maybe, Sunwoo is your sun and he hears your internal pleading because he steps forward, his everyday school sneakers coming into your view. 

“Whenever you’re ready, alright?���

Maybe it was your growing heartache and headache but the way he mutters it, just a volume above the singing crickets as the birds retreat their song for the day, seemed genuine. Most importantly though, it didn’t seem permanent at all. It’s almost as if Sunwoo is telling you indirectly that he will always wait for you. To tell you to figure out your internal fight first but that he’ll always give you a helping hand and that boba treat if you ever call him for help. To tell you that he will always get you in trouble during class and stick his tongue out if he’s successful. To tell you to stop ignoring him in school now that he is getting some sort of closure from you. 

Thankful for the memories and comfort, your head rises from the depths of your darkness and Sunwoo shines brighter than the huge star behind him. For what you both know will be the last one in a while, Sunwoo purposely lets out a loud sigh, one that is playful and is accommodated by the upturned corner of his lips before resting his open palm on the top of your head.

“I will always wait for you.” 

To his words, the stars in your eyes fell and for once, you were glad that you finally showed your tears to him. You hoped that he would know just how much you are genuinely sorry for all of this. Giving him an actually convincing nod that he seemed to accept. You watch your best friend stuff his hands inside his pocket, turning away from your front door and walking his way back down the stairs to being just classmates—just for now.

No more words were exchanged after and everything seems to pass by excruciatingly slow. Neither of you had the courage and strength left in your being to call out for the other anymore. Sunwoo would go back to his friends and you would be left alone but that’s alright because you love them all. You would gladly kick yourself out of the picture if it meant that there would be no awkwardness or unsettling feeling in the group.

As soon as Sunwoo disappears from your sight, he takes all the happiness and warmth that he would offer to you unconditionally, but you also hope that he left all his worries and frustrations here at your front door. The clicking of the door when you close it is empty and the dragging steps that you take to the other end of the hallway to your room are still heavy. You had no more words for the devil in your head that laughed at you victoriously, the insecurities bouncing from the purple walls of your room as you sat at the edge of your bed.

But when your phone turns on with a notification that you didn’t expect, you know that the angel inside your head will be working their hardest to strengthen your mindset. There, visible from your lock screen is a new message from Sunwoo. Between your sniffles, you manage to let out a momentary chuckle at the new profile picture: Sunwoo behind you wrapping his arms around your neck, holding his phone out on selfie mode for the both of you to smile at—it’s the latest picture of you both. Your eyes then divert to the new message, one that would push you to keep going until you could face him once more and be back in his arms:

“I’ll always love you too.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

#deoboyznet #k-labels #k-films #the boyz #tbz #sunwoo imagines #kim sunwoo x reader #sunwoo x reader #tbz x reader #kim sunwoo fluff #the boyz x male reader #sunwoo fluff #kim sunwoo imagines #sunwoo angst #sunwoo timestamps #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #the boyz x reader #the boyz x you #the boyz imagines #sunwoo the boyz #the boyz fanfic #sunwoo fanfic #kim sunwoo #the boyz kim sunwoo #tbz sunwoo #the boyz sunwoo #younghoon #hyunjae #lee jaehyun

[rainguk]

perfect pitch | ksj

⁕ summary; your stand partner this year is, to put it simply, insufferable. with a rare sense of perfect pitch and a stunning face to boot, this boy's ego is absolutely off the charts... but you'd be lying if you said you didn't care about him anyway.

⁕ pairing; seokjin x reader

⁕ rating; pg-13

⁕ words; 3.9k

⁕ genre; crack, fluff - stand partners idiots to lovers (with a lil bit of enemies in there), high school au, orchestra au

⁕ warnings; swearing, threats but like nothing violent happens LOL, seokjin's sense of humor: there's like one mildly inappropriate joke (i'm sorry bach), super cliche rain scene i apologize

⁕ notes; this is based off of infuriatingly true events in my life because people with perfect pitch just LOVE flexing it like i'll drop my fork on the table and my friend's just like "oh wow that was a B flat" aaaaggghjsdjsdf anyways... i had a lot of fun writing this and i'm nearing the end of another longer fic i'm writing so please look forward to that :D hope you enjoy!!! + if you ever want me to tag you in my fics just let me know and i will <3 plus this is unedited and disgustingly cringy as it nears the end so read at your own risk

⁕ tags; @imdamconfused @sunghoonight-x @iminchaosnow

⁕ song; butter (bts)

masterlist

You’re teetering dangerously on the edge, a mere few seconds away from stabbing your stand partner in the eye with whatever you can use as a weapon.

“Hey, are you okay?” Seokjin cuts into your murderous thoughts, alarmed. “You look… truth be told, Y/N, you look like you want to kill someone.”

“If you don’t shut up about how flat my A is, that someone might just end up being you.”

“How romantic.”

Your bow slides off your violin with a cadence of squeaky notes. “Can you at least stop flirting with me while I’m trying to tune this thing?!”

He smiles, a bright, brilliant thing that shows off all his perfect teeth. You swallow, heart suddenly racing a thousand times faster; it’s no secret that Kim Seokjin is probably the biggest pain in the neck you’ve ever met, but it’s also true that he is insanely good-looking. And you’re not about to deny it.

“You like it, though.”

Well, shit.

“Not everyone’s head over heels in love with you,” you retort, trying desperately to throw him off your trail. You know what happens with popular kids like him; once it’s known that you have a soft spot for them, everyone pounces on you, bombarding you with questions and snide remarks and rumors.

Of course, it’s complicated — because how on earth could you want to rip off someone’s head and kiss them at the same time?

But you tell yourself that it’s only because he looks like that; not because he easily gets you to laugh like it’s nobody’s business, and certainly not because he looks out for you in the littlest ways; leaving his rosin out on the stand for you to use and lending you a pencil when you need one.

Kim Seokjin is an insufferable little shit, yes. But he’s a friendly insufferable little shit. And you would honestly be so down to hang out with him and get to know him better, save for one little thing that’s been getting in your way.

His perfect fucking pitch.

Being stand partners with someone naturally gifted with such a sense is both a blessing and a curse. Countless times, Seokjin has saved your ass from being questioned by Mrs. Choi by letting you know silently that you’re a little too sharp, or playing in the wrong key entirely. (That last one has happened before.) Sometimes you can’t hear Namjoon, the principal violinist, too well from where you’re seated, so you’ve relied on Seokjin on many occasions to tune your strings correctly.

However, it irks you equally as much when he uses it against you, stopping you mid-piece to let you know that your C# sounds more like a D to him. No one’s perfect, and certainly not you — but you try, and to be shot down every single time by someone who thinks it’s absolutely funny to watch you repeatedly attempt to fix your pitch issues is purely exhausting.

“Hey, Y/N—”

“What?” you demand, sighing as you turn to him.

“Wanna hear a joke?”

“No—”

“Why did Bach have twenty children?”

Your eyes widen in horror. “Oh my god—”

He continues anyway, ignoring your plea with that mischievous grin, “Because he had no organ stops!”

Seokjin is trying his best not to laugh at his own joke, shoulders shaking at the punch line. You can’t help it yourself, a giggle bursting out of your own chest as you cover your mouth.

“That was horrendous,” you tell him once you catch your breath again. “Absolutely terrible.”

“Oh, worry not,” he proclaims, smiling widely, “I can do far better.”

“Wait, no—”

“What tone does a piano falling down a mineshaft make?”

You furrow your brows, thinking. “I don’t know,” you shake your head after a few seconds. “What is it?”

“A flat minor.”

Your jaw drops open as you process it, and Seokjin just watches you in amusement. “You should be banned from making these kinds of jokes,” you tell him. “Seriously.”

“Admit it, I’m hilarious,” he counters. “I made you laugh, didn’t I?”

He did, you’ve got to acknowledge. He always does, in some way, now that you think about it. Whenever you end up coming to rehearsal in a bad mood, it’s always because of Seokjin that you leave the auditorium with a smile on your face.

The realization startles you like nothing else — you hadn’t known before that he played such a role in your daily life.

“Oh, I nearly forgot,” he starts again, “We have a concert tonight.”

“Yeah…” You turn to him, eyebrow raised. “You forgot about the biggest performance of the year?”

Seokjin nods, a faint pink dusting his cheeks. “Yeah. My bad. You’re coming, right?”

“Duh,” you reply, fishing a block of rosin out of your case. “It’s almost half of my grade; no way I can skip. Besides, I like performing.”

“You do?”

“What are you so surprised for?” you ask him playfully. “I do enjoy it. I might not be good — not as good as you — but I like it. I like playing together with everyone, being able to hear every other part fit in with mine perfectly.” You frown. “Now if you asked me to play solo, I wouldn’t do it for anything in the world. Ensemble performances are far better.”

“You’re good,” Seokjin says quietly, looking at you — it’s like he’s taking you in, letting his eyes linger on you for a little while longer. “Don’t think that you’re not. You sound nice, Y/N.”

You hold his gaze for several breathless seconds before scoffing, turning away. “Don’t lie.”

“I’m not!”

“I don’t need empty compliments fr—”

Your bickering is cut short by Mrs. Choi walking onstage, a stack of sheet music in her hand which is promptly handed to Namjoon for him to distribute to the entire orchestra. You don’t offer your usual smile when he gives you two, and it’s with an impassive expression that you hand the extra to your stand partner.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Maybe you’ve made it more awkward between you two — but what else could have happened? Had you been hoping he’d magically fall in love with you and kiss you and you would have gone on dates?

No, of course not. This is Kim Seokjin you’re talking about; and besides, no matter how much you manage to soften up to him one moment, he’ll immediately make you want to murder him the next.

“Hey, Y/N… um — your D is just, you know, a little bit sharp—”

“Kim Seokjin, I’ll fucking kill you!”

“You, my dear, are just overcomplicating this for yourself,” Taehyung declares after listening to you rant about your problematic stand partner over lunch. “What’s the issue? You like him — don’t you shake your head at me, Y/N, you’re as obvious as an open book — and he clearly likes you. Why don’t you just date him?”

“It’s not that simple,” you grumble, brutally stabbing another piece of chicken. “I can’t just walk up to him and ask him out, Tae. Plus, he doesn’t like me, he just likes flirting with everyone he lays his eyes on.”

“From what you’re telling me, it sure does sound like it.”

“Taehyung…”

“Come on, you can’t possibly be that clueless, Y/N.”

“No,” you insist. “He’s a pain in the ass, and he enjoys getting a rise out of me, and he flexes that dumb pitch power of his whenever he can.”

“But you like him...”

“You’re not helping!”

This is where Jimin decides to intervene, tired of your back and forth arguing. “She has a point, Tae. But,” he says to you. “He’s also right. You need to take some kind of action.”

“Yeah, but what?”

Taehyung claps his hands, a telltale sign of a new idea. “Flirt back!”

“Okay, absolutely not—”

Jimin grabs you suddenly, shaking your shoulders. “Wait, think about it!” he exclaims, eyes wide. “It can work! That way you can see if he actually does like you, and you won’t publicly embarrass yourself by confessing to him, either!”

“On second thought, I’d have preferred to see the public embarrassment—”

“Shut up, Tae, you’re just making her feel worse!”

That makes you laugh; contrary to Jimin’s statement, your best friends certainly have succeeded in making you feel just a little bit better.

“Don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual,” you tease. “Maybe I owe him a dose, actually, because I’ve seen firsthand a particularly painful confession back in n—”

“Y/N! Don’t you dare bring that up!”

Amidst the chaos of Taehyung screeching while trying to attack you with a spoon and Jimin holding him back, someone taps on your shoulder lightly; a momentary distraction from this madness, if you will.

“Oh. You,” you respond when greeted with the gently smiling face of Kim Seokjin. “Did you need anything?”

“Nah,” he shrugs, instead showing you his closed fist. “Wanted to give you something.”

“If it’s another one of my strings that you’ve borrowed and also broken, then you can keep it, thanks.”

Seokjin shakes his head, chuckling. “Not that, Y/N. I always throw out the strings I break; don’t worry. I just thought you should have this.”

With that, he places a small wooden box on your lunch bag — at a closer look, you realize it’s a block of rosin. Brand new, too, by the looks of it — when you take off the bright blue lid, there are no scratches on the surface, no sign of wear and tear.

“For me?” You look at him, surprised to be met with a rather fond gaze you’re not used to. “Why?”

“Noticed the one you had was basically falling apart,” he says nonchalantly, attempting to mask the slight tremble in his voice and the blush on his cheeks. “I mean, come on — how are you gonna keep your bow in good shape with those tiny chunks of this stuff?”

“Oh,” is all you can reply, staring at the gleaming black cube in your hand. “I — thanks, I guess.”

“No problem.” He’s back to his bright, grinning self again, all self-confidence and smug smiles. “See you tomorrow,” he tells you, before waving to your friends. “Have a nice lunch, guys.”

It takes Jimin and Taehyung precisely fourteen seconds after Seokjin leaves for his own table to lose their shit.

“Was he looking out for you?”

“Did he actually just give you a new block of rosin?!”

“And you still don’t wanna date this guy?”

“You guys are violinists! Gifting each other supplies is basically your love language!”

You fidget with the rosin, smoothing your thumb over the lid. “No, that’s just how he is,” you defend. “He always lends me rosin when I need it.”

“And you always lend him extra strings,” Taehyung says, a teasing smile on his face. They’re kind of right, you realize when you think about it. Never has Seokjin actually given you a block to keep, and though you might be overestimating the significance of the gesture, it makes your heart flutter nonetheless.

“Okay, anyways,” Jimin changes the topic, “How are we feeling about tonight’s concert?”

“I think we’re in good shape,” you tell him. “We’ve got everything under control — Mrs. Choi was afraid the cellos would screw up their solo section, but they managed to pull it together today and they sounded great.”

“I’m afraid I can’t say the same,” Taehyung sighs. “Not when the tenors keep screwing up their long note—”

“That wasn’t me! That was Jeon Jungkook!”

“Yeah, sure—”

You groan, rolling your eyes. “Come on, we are not arguing about this right now. I’m sure you guys will sound fine, you always do. Plus, Jeon has a really sweet voice.”

“I guess so,” Taehyung shrugs. “But I think the highlight of tonight is going to be Y/N getting to see her guy all dressed up,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

“No!” You exclaim a little too quickly, cheeks red. “Why would you say something like that?!”

“Because you’re whipped for him—”

“I am most certainly not—”

Jimin laughs out loud, almost toppling off of his chair. “You know, Y/N, we might have believed you if you weren’t redder than a fucking tomato right now—”

“PARK JIMIN! NOT YOU TOO!”

As luck would have it, you’re a solid ten minutes late.

Call time was at six o’clock, and here you are; slamming the car door shut as you wave a hasty goodbye to your father and run to the main entrance, all the while trying not to get drenched in the rain.

(Your folder and the music inside it are probably already soaked, but that’s an issue for another time.)

You hurry down the stairs, pushing the double doors open with a quick apology to Mrs. Choi, who gives you a stern look but says nothing else. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding as you slide into your seat, already unlatching your case.

“You’re late.”

You twist your neck to give your stand partner a blank stare. “I’m aware.”

“You look really nice,” he blurts out next, blinking faster than usual.

“Thanks?” You try and laugh it off, fastening your shoulder rest to the back of your violin. You’re not wearing anything fancy, just a flowy black dress with your hair tied back, but his remark renders you speechless for a split second “So do you.”

You manage to compliment him nonchalantly, but your heart is beating twice as fast, eyes admiring his parted, fluffy hair, the white dress shirt impeccable on his figure. And his lips…

Shit. You really are down bad, but you don’t have time to dwell on it — Mrs. Choi is starting the last piece already, and you’re scrambling to have your instrument ready by the time the first violins start with their little intro.

Seokjin laughs at you quietly, but inhales sharply when you start to rosin your bow hair. “You kept it,” he says softly, nodding at the block in your hands.

“Yeah,” you swallow, suddenly self-conscious. “I did.”

“Didn’t think you would.”

“I’m not that ungrateful,” you wrinkle your nose at him. “Of course I kept it, Seokjin.”

“Jin.”

“Huh?”

“Jin,” he repeats, flicking a strand of chestnut hair away from his eyes. “That’s what my friends call me.”

“Since when am I your friend?”

“Would you rather not be?”

“Would you rather be?”

Seokjin — Jin, rather — frowns down at you. “Stop asking questions to my questions!”

“You did it first!” you exclaim, laughing. “Hypocrite! Answer mine, then!”

He looks at you for a long moment, like he’s taking his sweet time choosing the right words to say to you. “Since now,” he decides finally, firmly. “You are now. I want you to be mine. My friend,” he clarifies, turning deep red as he says it.

“I thought you hated me,” you muse. “And I was pretty sure you thought I was the lamest kid ever because I couldn’t play a single thing right.”

“Of course not,” Jin shakes his head vehemently. “You’re cool, Y/N. A little tone deaf, but cool.”

“Take that back!”

“I’m sorry, it’s the truth,” he laughs, eyes crinkling at the corners.

You send him your best glare, but contrary to your facial expression, it’s nice to laugh with him like this. You’ve been so caught up with telling yourself that you shouldn’t be feeling anything but annoyance when you’re around him that you ignored your blossoming feelings, and now they’ve fully bloomed, leaving no room for that initial irritation you so often experienced.

Friends. It’s not what you most want, but it’s something. You could get used to that.

The concert goes smoothly, and the choir performances were absolutely delightful to watch — but your father is late, again, which means you’re stuck waiting for him out in the rain that hasn’t let up for hours.

You’re about to call him for the fifth time in ten minutes when you hear a set of heavy footsteps behind you, running up the stairway. “Y/N!”

“Jin?” you ask, surprised by the boy making his way toward you, brown hair completely soaked. “What are you doing out here?”

“I lied,” he says breathlessly, like he’s in a rush, and if he doesn’t tell you now, he might never be able to. “I’m sorry, I — I lied, Y/N. I don’t want you to be my friend — God, I don’t think I could live with that. I want you to be more.”

“Jin—”

“I just,” he exhales forcefully, “I want to be able to take you out and hold your hand and hug you and kiss you—”

When your mind finally clears up, you don’t let him finish his sentence, instead grabbing his collar and yanking him down so you can press your lips to his in one swift motion. A quiet gasp leaves his mouth, but he quickly adjusts to the situation, hands dropping his violin so he can gently cradle your face, teeth tugging at your bottom lip. It’s all happening so fast that you barely even have time to think, to properly take it all in.

His lips are cold due to the nasty weather, and you’re both sopping wet — and this is most definitely the worst setting for this to have happened, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“That,” Jin breathes when you finally let him go, pupils dilated, “that was—”

“My first,” you finish. Your prior courage all gone, you’re a bit nervous now, too embarrassed by your bold move to even meet his eyes. What were you thinking? “I-I’m sorry...”

“Sorry?” Jin asks, confused. “Why are you sorry?”

“You know, because… of that.” You can barely speak up, cheeks burning. “I-I don’t know why I did that. Is this — is this a prank or something? Did you plan this? Was I just supposed to laugh it off and threaten to take your eye out with my bow instead?”

“No, no, no,” he shakes his head, laughing. “Can’t you tell, Y/N?” He lowers his voice to a gentle whisper. “I like you, you idiot. Ever since you waltzed into the auditorium sophomore year and nearly broke your violin falling down the stairs, I never stopped thinking about you.”

“You… you like me?” you ask incredulously, jabbing an accusatory finger at his chest. “Like, for real? You’re not just pulling my leg like you usually love to do?”

“I meant what I said, Y/N,” he tells you softly, fingers intertwined with yours. His voice is genuine, soothing. “I want to do all those things with you, if you’ll let me.”

It takes you a while to reply, but when you do, your heart is pounding so loudly in your chest that you can barely hear yourself. “A-And if I said yes?”

A wide grin breaks out onto Jin’s face as he pulls you into a hug, both your instruments forgotten on the pavement and your head resting on his chest as he holds you close. A few days ago, you would have thought yourself a fool for even thinking that a day like this would ever come; yet here you are, all those daydreams come true.

It’s all so new to you, and you’ll most likely screw up along the way — multiple times. But hand in hand with Jin and his vexing ability to pick out a B from a B flat, things aren’t looking so bad.

You’ll work it out.

Hanging out with your friends is always a chaotic (but fun) occurrence — but when you add your boyfriend’s buddies into the mix, it all goes down to shit.

Actually, it’s all his fault, if you really think about it. Why on earth did he think challenging Taehyung to a baking competition was even remotely close to being a good idea?

“That’s so not fucking fair!” the aforementioned best friend cries, angrily shaking a spatula at a playfully grinning Jung Hoseok. “You can’t just hide the bag of flour! I fucking forgot to put it in!”

“Nothing we can do about it now, Tae,” Jimin sighs, massaging his forehead as the three of you stare at the burnt, soupy mass your team has created. “We fucking lost, that’s it.”

“So,” Jin smirks mischievously, nudging your elbow. “I guess Hoseok and I win this one, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you shove him back, though you’re grinning; a plate with a slice of his impeccably made cake in your hands and a fork lifted to your lips. “You’re good at this and you know it. I knew from the start that you were just trying to fuck around with Tae.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Your evil, demonic, deceptive, satanic boyfriend—”

“Nice vocabulary,” Hoseok comments without looking up, and you’re sure he’s on your best friend’s hit list at this point.

“Well — anyways, he’s out to get me,” Taehyung continues, frowning. “I feel attacked.”

“Yeah, okay, keep saying that several years from now when you’re sitting in a church and Y/N’s walking down the aisle,” Jimin says nonchalantly, causing you to choke on your cake in complete shock.

“What the heck — we’re literally eighteen! You can’t — you can’t just say things like that!” you exclaim indignantly, fork clattering against your empty plate. Jin grins widely all of a sudden, tapping your shoulder all of a sudden.

“Jagi.”

“Hmm?” You turn to him, momentarily forgetting how flustered Jimin’s comment made you feel.

“That was a really nice C# just now…”

Your mouth drops open as you gape at your boyfriend; part of you wants to cry and part of you wants to laugh. You knew when you agreed to make it official that somewhere along the line, you’d have to deal with these kinds of things, but now that it’s actually happening…

You turn to Jimin, patience already running thin from Jin’s antics (actually, you secretly love it, though you’ll never admit it to his face.)

“And you have the audacity to suggest that I’ll actually get married to this man?”

“Y/N? Honey, wake up. I… I just realized something.”

“Oh — Jin? What is it? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s good. You know, I was thinking about it, and I realized that...” Your husband bites down on his lip hesitantly, glancing down at the baby sleeping peacefully in his arms.

“Yeah?” you press, curious.

“When Aera cries — you know, when she’s screaming at the top of her lungs,” he smiles fondly. “It’s always — she always cries in either F# or C#. It’s,” he looks like he’s nearing tears, “the D major key. Y/N, she literally cries in D major. I’m—”

You sigh, smiling amusedly to yourself as you snuggle up to him for extra warmth, holding your baby close. Leave it to none other than Kim Seokjin to analyze his daughter’s pitch — isn’t that part of the reason why you fell in love with him, anyway?

Life with Jin is many things — a chaotic mess that includes the constantly screaming light of your lives, three pandemoniac best friends, and far too many notes for you to keep track of. And though sometimes you want to chuck a blue-lidded block of rosin at his head to shut him up, you’re more than ready for it all.

— feedback/questions/just wanna chat?

thank you for reading perfect pitch! ♡

#applejinie #seokjin x reader #seokjin fluff #seokjin one shot #jin x reader #jin fluff #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts one shot #rainguk #jin high school au #bts high school au #bts orchestra au #violinist!jin

[f33itan]

💛⚜️Pᴀʀᴛ 1: Tᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ɪs Gᴏʟᴅᴇɴ⚜️💛 (From my Wattpad)

A/N: Ok, this was something a mutual of mine said here on Tumblr, and I decided to write a oneshot about it. Might be very VERY slight angst, nothing bad enough to actually be put under that umbrella though, anyways, enjoy this, and ty for the reads! :)

CW: MENTIONS OF RAPE, DEGRADATION, AND MORE FOUL WORDS THAN USUAL. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

B/N: Your Mother's boyfriend's name

M/N: Mother's name

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

"Oi, Y/N! Go get me another pack of beer from the store!"

"Yes father!" Damn that pig looking bitch. I'm just some fucking girl, trying to protect her mom from this demon of a person! Heck, he's not EVEN a person! He's the devil himself!! Man, I wish dad was here...

When you were in about 7th grade, your real father got killed in a massacre a couple cities over. He was not only a police officer, but a great father and husband as well. He treated you and your mother amazingly, and you thought life couldn't get anymore perfect, but soon that all went down hill. After his death, your mother's health depleted and she felt empty inside. She needed somebody else to make her complete. She decided to call an old friend from high school, and next thing you know he moved in. He seemed like a nice guy at first, but soon enough he was beating you guys mercilessly, enough to leave large bruises and scars whenever you didn't do exactly what he asked, in your eyes though, it was more of an order. You hated being ordered around, but you hated your mother getting beaten around even more. It seemed like a blessing that he hasn't tried to rape her, but god knows what he'll do, he's unpredictable

With all of this happening, you decided to tell him you were doing some "extra curricular" classes in college, but what you were actually doing was taking the Hunter's Exam and learning nen. Your biological father was kind-hearted and fun to be around, but he was also strict and sometimes a bit harsh, though he always meant well. Before his passing, all three of you would go out on the weekends to train, exercise, or do something that would enhance your body power and brain power. Because of this, all of you were exceptionally smart, and bodies all well toned. Sometimes your excursions would be going to a park and practicing a sport, driving to the snow and sledding, skiing, snowboarding, and every once in a while going to another state to zip line, try animal encounters, or take a family friendly class in that state's heritage and customs.

Since you were accustomed to hard core training and events, you thought the Hunter's Exam was quite fun, and was a test to your skills. After that, you were scouted out by a strong nen user by the name of Biscuit Krueger. You and her had lots of fun training, and with her pushing your limits to the utmost best, you turned out to be a specialist.

(Whenever I imagine myself in Hunter x Hunter, this is always my nen type and stuff LMAO)

Your power was called, Black shadow. You could have up to 10 weapons on hand, completely subjected to doing your bidding. These weapons were linked to you through blood, and they were surrounded with a substance that appeared to be black mist. The weapons you most preferred to practice with and use were your katana, blood string, and scythe. You could also make a weapon yours by cutting a fingertip and letting the blood drip onto the weapon, altering the appearance then gaining that black "mist", showing that it was now yours. The downside to this technique was that those "shadows and mist remnants" were your sleep. The darkness in your mind and the shadows all around you were taken and used for that power. In turn, you were always tired, yawning, and had bags under your eyes. Another plus side though was that you had a nen created chamber that had every weapon you owned. A girl can have some fun toys, can't she? You had tools for torture (whenever you took an opportunity to try it), many varieties of weapons, and of course, more snacks. But unlike B/N, you didn't have just fatty snacks. You had regeneration potions, healthy snacks, and special nen created "snacks" to help with different things, which all of these you had collected through pulling some strings. Your mother was worried, but you said it was all just college things. Yeah, just college things..

Ill make that pig bitch pay for what he has done to my mother!

Feitan POV -or whats going on with him- :

"What time, is it.."

"8 AM Fei!"

"Shut up, green eyes, too loud."

"Oh Fei don't be rude! It's mean!"

"That's, the point."

"Oh wait, Shalnark, what this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This... gold string?"

"OI SHALNARK, FEITAN, COME ERE' REAL QUICK!"

"Phinks, what, do you, want-" Phinks just ignored his question and pointed to the TV.

This is Channel 12, reporting live from York New City Town Square. People all over the city are claiming to be seeing a string tied to their left ring finger, leading them to some unknown destination! What is this string? Who put it there?-

"AY AY IM ON TV! THE STRING THINGY JUST LEAD ME TO THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND NOW WERE DATING! SUPER AWESOME!"-

I apologize for the interference, but this string appears t be leading people to.. partners? Soulmates? Find out tomorrow morning, this is Amy Starwick from Channel 12, signing out.

"What. The. FUCK."

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOODNESS HOLY SHIT FEITAN YOU HAVE A SOULMATE!!"

"Nope-"

"YESS YOU DOOOOOOO"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP CHEERY BITCH-"

"No❤️" Since Feitan was on his last nerve with Shalnark, he decided to stomp over towards Chrollo in the main room, but Chrollo just chuckled.

"Wanna go find your soulmate? See if that things real?" Feitan just stared at the ground, lightly shifting his feet.

"Go ahead, I don't mind."

"Just, doing it, out of, curiosity."

"Mhm, curiosity, go find them." And with that, he was dismissed. Feitan wanted to say it was curiosity, but deep down he had this feeling there was something else, but what was it? It made his stomach tingle and he didn't like it one bit. He tried to ignore all of this, and just shrugged it off...

꧁꧂꧁꧂TimeSkip to Next Day꧁꧂꧁꧂

Your POV + some Feitan POV:

"Alright, today's the day, he'll be at his work, and on his break, i'll set the plan in motion.." Both me and mom don't like him, and I don't know about her, but I sure hate him, every ounce of him. The plan is simple: 1. Capture mom's boyfriend, 2. Take him to an abandoned building, 3. Torture him and get all of the answers I need, and 4. Kill him. His break is at 12, and he usually goes to get takeout every other Friday, what a pig. I'll give him a taste of his own medicine.

Time: 11:30 AM

Ok, I have everything ready. Fully energized to the utmost extent, Elixirs to bring him back in case he passes out too early, and- what? He's leaving for lunch early? PERFECT! You ran behind some buildings and hid in a two-way alleyway, waiting for him to pass by...

Here we go..

One..

Two..

THREE!

You covered his head with a sack, and took his phone out of his back pocket. Before heading over to your post, you laced the inside of the sack with some sleeping powder and pressed it against his nose and mouth. Within moments he passed out, and you typed in what you hoped to be his password, which was correct. Around 12:30, you were going to text one of his coworkers that he would be "going to a restaurant across town, and ditching work for a day, not wanting to see his stupid good for nothing girlfriend or his dumb daughter." You knew he called you both this because of going through his text messages when he wasn't looking or when he was sleeping. Little did you know that somebody was watching you from afar.

"Hmm... So, she, my, what do people, call it.. soulmate? Seems, interesting..."

Time: 12:00 PM

"Jesus, I new he was a fat ass but I didn't know he weighed this much!" You were tugging him from his legs through the back ways of York New. You wanted to find a secluded area, where once you were done with him you could just toss him somewhere for the birds and maggots to eat. After walking for what seemed like hours, you came across a set of abandoned buildings, specifically the one you laid out some extra things. A couple extra weapons, some towels, a change of clothes, a chair and some rope, a couple of flashlights, and of course, some snacks. Lucky for you, the douchebag you've been dragging around like a rag doll was still out cold, so you picked him up and tossed him on the chair, tying his wrists, ankles and neck to the chair.

"Maaannn, this is boring!! When the hell are you gonna wake up?!" As if on queue, you saw his eyes start to flutter open, and you immediately grabbed your box cutter. It wasn't a weapon used by your nen, but it was quite effective.

"What.. who.. wait- Y/N!? WHAT THE FUCK?! UNTIE ME NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS!!" you didn't notice it, but Feitan was watching from the building over.

What, the fuck? Why she kidnap him? That pig? Why? Confusing, gotta keep, watching.

You shoved the box cutter into his left cheek, and you bathed in the glory of hearing his screams of pain.

"How does this feel, you bitch? Everything you've done to my dear mother, everything you've done to me, and heck, YOU WERE PROBABLY BEHIND MY DAD'S MURDER DURING THAT FUCKING MASSACRE!!" B/N noticed the tears in your eyes, and took this to his advantage.

"So what if I was? Both of your parents were pathetic anyways."

"NO THEY AREN'T! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY MOTHER'S LIKE THIS NOW! YOUR THE FUCKING REASON FOR EVERYTHING SHITTY THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!!"

"Heh, hehe.. hahaHAHAHA! YOU KNOW GOD DAMNED WELL THAT ALL OF YOU ARE PATHETIC! WANNA KNOW WHY I GOT WITH YOUR MOM!? BECAUSE SHES HOT. AND SHE HAD GOOD MONEY FROM YOUR FUCKING DAD. YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO?! YOU KNOW WHY I TOOK OFF EARLY TODAY?! I WAS GONNA RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND MAKE YOU WATCH, THEN KILL BOTH OF YOU AND RUN OFF WITH ALL OF YOUR MONEY!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IRONIC?! I DON'T HAVE ONE. SINGLE. FUCKING. REGRET. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAD, YOU SOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE NERVE TO DO THIS, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED!!"

You couldn't handle this anymore, tears were falling down your face rapidly as you grabbed the duct tape and closed his mouth shut.

"I don't give a fuck about what you say.. I'm going to kill you here. This is your grave. Someday, I'll join you in hell, and when I do, I'll torture you again, and the Devil will laugh. You just watch and ducking wait you, you.. PATHETIC WORTHLESS PIG ASS SLOPPY ASS NASTU FUCKING BITCH!" With that, you grabbed a couple super worms in each hand and shoved them into his ears. Even with the duct tape, you could hear his screams of agony as the worms dug deeper into his ears. You then got our your katana and slashed him across the stomach, and shoved even more worms into that open wound of his. Quickly, you poured a large bottle of the elixir you had brought over him to keep him from dying so quickly. Box cutter still in hand, you carved small lines all over his arms and legs, then ripped off the tape to hear his desperate cries. You imagined he wanted to be dead, but you didn't care. His pain and you pain mixed together and you just started laughing. You through your head back and let yourself laugh. all of the pain this man has caused you and your mom will be repayed today.

But the pressure and stress was too much to handle. Your laughing of victory soon turned into screams and more tears, as you let yourself fall to the ground, not even noticing you didn't hit it hard, something had caught you, or someone..

What the shit am I doing?

Am I really going to kill him?

What's wrong with me?

What will mother think?

What would dad do?

What am I doing with my life?

You soon snapped out of all of those negative thoughts though, as you noticed something caressing your face lightly.

"Rest, now. He, won't die, so quickly. I'm, Feitan." You were a sniffling and crying mess, so all you could do was rush into Feitan's chest and cry. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around you and held you close. He had no idea what he was doing, for he had only seen this kind of skin on skin contact in movies. So, he did what those people in the movies did.

"Don't, worry... It's all, going to be.. okay."

Word Count (Including author notes, etc) : 2251

-Wrote February 3, 2021-

Unedited sorry about that lol-

Part 1...

#hxh #hxh oneshot #hunterxhunter #feitan #feitanportor #pov #feitanxreader

[mementotori]

I was tagged for a catch up by @orime-stories

You’re awesome and I love you <3

2020 was wild so y’all bear with me

Three Ships:

The most consistent ship I’ve been focusing on for the year has been with two OC’s that are in my own little side project I’ve been working on for YEARS now. With the quarantine and especially being a DM that’s had the opportunity to work on the world it’s given me a lot of time to work on them. I really love how they’re turning out so maybe one day you’ll all properly meet Poppy and Padraig.

As far as fandom is concerned? I’ve been playing Skyrim a lot lately but POE was more of a regular haunt for me during the year. I really love Watcher X Eder and I’ll happily die on that fucking hill. You’re gonna tell me that man doesn’t have feelings for the Watcher no matter their race of gender identity? Get out of here with that nonsense, Obsidian. I just think him and Faraligh are very soft together and I’ll ride that slowburn to the next game too gdi.

Nothing got to me more this year in the last couple months than Wayhaven. I adore Adam du Mortain X The Detective so much I swear I’d spend hours and hours replaying the game just to see different options with just that stuffy English bastard. I’ve gotten over the idea that self-insert's are inherently evil so naturally the Detective is a small part of my personality and when @mad-mod said Adam was my type THEY REALLY WEREN’T LYING.

Last songs listened to:

Spotify will tell you I’ve listened to a lot of video game music but it’s because I have specific playlists I put on during dnd or when I’m writing. It’s easier for me to write to things that don’t have lyrics, which is a big thing I’ve learned this past year despite how long I’ve been writing. My favorite playlist is actually one I made for the BBEG (who is also the Big Bad in my massive writing project that involved Poppy and Padraig). I love Ta’Vathi’s playlist so much, it’s the thing I’ve been listening to when I have to leave the house early in the morning to get hyped for work. A few favorites are “Mary on a Cross” and “Faith” by Ghost,  and obligatory Rammstein songs “Engel” and “ICH TU DIR WEH” among a few other bops.

Currently watching:

It’s been a weird time for TV shows for me tbqh. All the mental strain has been making trying new shows very lackluster so usually I throw on episodes of The Office or I’ll restart Critical Role from season 1 for background noise.

Currently reading:

I’ve been so bad about reading if I’m gonna be honest. I picked up a few books on Norse Mythology with the intention of spending more time studying to better my worship to the Gods but most times I’ll use the spare moments to get writing done.

How’s it going:

I think we can all agree that 2020 was the shittiest year out of a long run of bullfuckery. Not to say some good things haven’t happened, I’m grateful that I’ve had this spare time to work on my writing like how I’ve been wanting to. Ngl there was a long while I went completely dark because of some very personal things, and I’m still trying to get past it. I think every day it gets a little bit easier to handle and for that I’m blessed to have the people in my life that I do have. I feel my husband and I have been blessed with the fact that he does have a stable job despite C*vid and we’ve been relatively okay.

There was a point just a year or two ago where I decided to say “Fuck it”. I wasn’t going to bite my tongue anymore, I was going to say what was on my mind and learn to be okay with just being myself. I know I’m not as close as I used to be with some people, and maybe that’s the reason why, but that’s something I’m really okay with. 

After a few years of medical issues I finally got back into the job force, I take care of infants five days a week. On paper it’s a dream job, but I’m finding many of my coworkers to be a bit toxic so I’m doing my best to just be a good caregiver to the few babies I have. I really don’t think I could express properly how much I love them with my whole heart and soul, and I get very very irritated when something is done wrong. I feel I’ve been falling back into old habits of putting 120% into my job, even though I purposely took the part time position to try and cut down on that. I think I spend a good portion of every day just cleaning and sanitizing and it just gets to you after a while. 

I’ve been trying to better my mental health, I had never seen a therapist before in my life but I sure as fuck feel a lot better for having accomplished that. I had always been too stubborn to go, my problems were my own and I didn’t need someone else knowing my business. But there’s something freeing in a stranger telling you that your feelings and the way you handled things were completely valid.

Not every day is going to be a good one, and I’ve learned that’s okay. I really hope that this coming year is another one that I can spend on personal and professional growth. This is something I wish for all my friends, both in person and online. As the old adage goes: Do no harm, but take no shit.

I invite all of my mutuals to try this, even if you don’t post it in the end. It got weirdly more personal than I expected LMAO

#thank you so much for the ask! #ask prompt #goodbye 2020 #I won't think of you more than I have to #I'm honestly interested in all of your answers but just knowing you're holding up is worth it #I've also been skowly growing my tarot business but c*vid hit pretty hard on that end so its been slow

[unliikelylovers]

ahh yay u reblogged that ask thing i was hoping u would. ok so. yue/yueki (whichever ud prefer!), azula, bakoda :)

omfg leo <33 this makes me happy ok buckle up for a massive post

yue

how I feel about this character

when i first watched avatar i didn’t rly get her,, like i couldn’t get invested,,

but the more i think about her the more i love her

she is so kind,, so good,, deserves the world,,,,

all the people I ship romantically with this character:

sokka (not to be heterosexual but they were rlly cute onscreen okay)

suki (the vibes!!!!)

katara (moon <3 and <3 ocean <3 gfs <3)

my non-romantic OTP for this character:

yue x a long, happy life leading the northern water tribe and smashing the patriarchy

my unpopular opinion about this character

i can’t think of anything because nobody ever talks about her!! she’s so slept on :(

one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

it would’ve been cool if she joined the gaang,, i just love that idea sm. she would’ve brought one more braincell too and they Need That

my OTP

probably yuetara bc i just love that thing where u ship two characters who are foils to each other... very good, usually gay...

but honestly i’m only just opening my eyes to the wonderful world of atla wlw ships so my opinion is yet to be solidified

my cross over ship i don’t do crossover ships lol i find it hard enough gauging whether two characters have chemistry onscreen u cannot expect me to extrapolate it across media

a headcanon fact

i think yue probably hated pakku and she was goddamn right

azula

how I feel about this character

listen i skipped this q bc i couldn’t unpack it enough and honestly later on in the post i wrote two entire essays of how i feel about azula so just read that

all the people I ship romantically with this character

nobody, she needs to heal

my non-romantic OTP for this character

azula x therapy

my unpopular opinion about this character

idk if this is unpopular exactly and it’s gonna take some explaining

basically i went into the show (bc i only watched it for the first time a few weeks ago lol) expecting that she would be a Bad Bitch™ bc everyone’s like,,, simping for her

anyway

that’s not what she is?? like at all???

and at first i did not like her and i was like why does anyone like her even a little bit she’s literally just an agent of fascism and imperialism

and while watching the finale i finally was like Oh.

she’s an abused child. and all she ever learned how to do was manipulate and fight and make war

and she literally never recieved love from anyone

i just don’t understand how you can look at her character and think “yass queen” OR “she’s a crazy bitch”

i am fervently on team Uncomfy When People Idolize Canon Azula But I Desperately Want Her To Heal

one thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

realistically, her redemption/healing arc would be messy and complicated and not at all linear and hard to make into a compelling tv storyline

and any “redemption arc” that would be compelling children’s television would not be Good Enough For Me

and unpopular opinion i don’t think it would serve the story to add an addendum of book 4

so no i don’t want the atla writers to concoct an Azula Redemption Arc

but i want the characters in canon to save a little space in their heart for her 

for someone she has not directly hurt to see her circa sozin’s comet and say, “this is not the warmaking machine ozai tried his best to make, this is a deeply hurt child”

someone like iroh

scratch that “someone” shit i want iroh. i want iroh to hold space in his heart for his niece, to see that she is not a lost cause. please. you did it for zuko please do it for her

my OTP:

azula x therapy

my cross over ship

a headcanon fact

lesbian.

obviously.

bakoda (which is honestly at this point my actual otp i am fully subsumed)

when I started shipping it if I did

honestly idk? i think i got it from a tumblr post lol i was like “oh? we ship these two? excellent” and just Ran With It

my thoughts

the Old Gays vibes are immaculate. the yearning. the fighting beside one another. the raising children. perfect in every way

what makes me happy about them

that they can grow old together, happily, in their home, in a world at peace...... God

what makes me sad about them

the idea of bato just... pining... for years... the Angst

if we’re talking canonverse then i love mining bato’s injury for angst just consider the possibilities: bato feeling abandoned at the abbey... bato thinking hakoda will never love him if he’s left less mobile... bato not properly taking care of himself

i just have so many emotions about bato someone stop me

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

just straight up ignoring kya or even worse, kya slander, like,, she and hakoda were also in love 

((i may or may not have literally done that in one of my fics and still have weird feelings abt it but it was 600 words of fluff so))

things I look for in fanfic

literally ANYTHING i will read any fanfic that has bakoda as a tag, bakoda nation is all about the crumbs

but for real. the yearning. all of the pining. they need to spend years in love with each other without saying a goddamn word

also if it wasn’t clear from my fics,,, whenever a bakoda fic includes kya i Love that shit. makes me go all heart eyes emoji. i love her. i love her so much i need more kya content

bato/hakoda/kya ot3 content is so blessed,, i see bato as gay probably but i can vibe with bisexual or it can be a v configuration

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other

hakoda with kya, obviously

my happily ever after for them

growing old together.......... just being old queer dads in love...... please i love them so much this is giving me Emotions

who is the big spoon/little spoon

bato is the big spoon he’s like a foot taller than hakoda and hakoda just wants to be Held

what is their favorite non-sexual activity

there’s a bakoda fic on ao3 where the tags “burn scar care” and “mutual pining” are adjacent and uh yeah. That.

#long post #atla hc

[stereklibrary]

Hiya, I was wondering if you had any high school sterek?x

YES! I love a good High School AU (and to be honest, I had a hard time choosing) - here are some of my favourites

I also have a High School AU tag

Have fun reading! 

#librarynerd by yodasyoyo (1/1 | 7,742 | T)

“I’ll likely get far more done in the group if I’m not distracted watching you with your pen—”

“My—My pen?”

“Pens. Drinking straws. Don’t act like you don’t know,” Derek says darkly. “You know.”

In which Stiles follows Scott into his Spanish study group, takes one look at the hot nerd who runs it and then decides to stay… even though he doesn’t actually speak Spanish.

the nerd party by bibliosexual (3/3 | 6,827 | T)

Until this moment, Stiles wasn’t even sure Derek could read, and now he’s trying to steal Stiles’ obscure eight-hundred-page fantasy novel. What.

Option C) Some Bad Guys are Werewolves, but Not All Werewolves are Bad Guys by calrissian18 (1/1 | 9,039 | T)

Derek Hale—the Incredible Meat that Thinks—needs a math tutor. Stiles Stilinski needs something that will look better on his college applications than ‘passable D&D Dungeon Master.’

It’s a match made in heaven. Er, right?

Strut on a Line, its Discord and Rhyme by xiaq (21/21 | 61,818 | T)

“Carry me,” Stiles says.

“No.”

“But I’m injured.”

“You have a rash,” Derek says. “On your arm. Your feet work just fine.”

“Please?”

“No. You weigh almost as much as I do. And you ate a pound of chicken at lunch.”

“Well, yeah, but I pooped like an hour ago, so.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Don’t play, you love me.”

I do, Derek thinks, relatively horrified. I really do.

And Then There Is No Mystery Left (Baby, I’m Sweet On You) by Swing Set in December (1/1 | 1,104 | T)

Stiles has no idea why Derek is sitting at his lunch table.

you love the hate that we share by bibliosexual (1/1 | 5,745 | T)

Maybe it’s petty — okay, it most definitely is — but it just irritates Stiles that the universe makes people like Derek Hale. He’s practically superhuman at lacrosse; he’s been blessed by the puberty gods with stubble and muscles on top of muscles and not a pimple in sight; he spouts off effortless monologues in Spanish class while Stiles is still struggling to remember how to say “Can you repeat that?”; he could probably make a killing as a male model; and when he asked Lydia to study with him, she said yes. Like, seriously, what the fuck.

Easy Alpha by interropunct (1/1 | 4,602 | T)

Easy A/Teen Wolf AU. Wherein, Derek Hale is the high school hussy, Jackson and Scott really need to learn to use their inside voices. And, contrary to popular belief, everyone is still a virgin.

I stopped believing in happy endings by otatop (2/2 | 8,531 | NR)

Derek was prepared to have his heart broken for just one evening with Stiles. He knew what he was getting himself into

(He had no idea what he was getting himself into)

(I Hate to Be) The One to Ruin the Night by wishingonalightningbolt (2/2 | 14,550 | E)

High school senior Derek Hale only has one goal for the rest of his time left at BHHS: avoid Stiles Stilinski. He’s wreaked enough havoc as it is, having spent all summer breaking Derek’s heart. Everything would be better for both of them if they just never saw each other again.

Derek doesn’t plan on ever getting mixed up with Scott McCall and his little gang of idiot friends. In fact, if he knew to avoid it, he would, but he guesses he just isn’t smart enough. Unfortunate, considering the consequences.

The Socioeconomic Repercussions of Mutually Assured Destruction by alocalband (1/1 | 15,285 | E)

“The trouble with having the kind of brain that likes to write essays on male circumcision for an Economics class, is that it also likes to turn PowerPoint presentations for Biology into odes on the perfection of notorious bad boy Derek Hale’s backside.”

When You’re Close I Feel the Sparks by Leslie_Knope (4/4 | 15,285 | M)

The guy is hot as hell, sure—leather jacket and glasses, Jesus, be still Stiles’ poor, bisexual, beating heart—but more importantly, it must really suck being new on the first day of senior year.

“We’re adopting him,” he decides, tugging Scott and Kira by the elbow in that direction. “Let’s go.”

Someone Please Murder Dr. Wyne by NotRoyalty (2/2 | 2,873 | NR)

Stiles starts asking questions in the margins of his chemistry textbook because that thing couldn’t be more confusing, and then someone starts leaving answers.

Talk Geeky to Me by stilesanderek (1/1 | 19,874 | E)

Derek and Stiles are the most typical combo of nerd plus geek two teenage boys could be; and as stereotypical as they could ever get, they’re each other’s only friend. That usually doesn’t bother Stiles much, Derek is the best best friend he could ever hope to have, but sometimes when he thinks about his fate of possibly not having his first kiss until college, he starts wishing he had a few more friends–or at least more people who were a bit more interested in him other than when they need to copy his notes.

In a fit of curiosity about how kissing feels like, Stiles proposes Derek that they each be the other’s first kiss–strictly platonic, of course. But afterwards, Stiles can’t stop noticing how hot Derek is, can’t stop thinking about kissing and touching him.

OR

The five times Derek and Stiles “fake” kiss and one time they take things further.

Binomial Coefficients by DevilDoll (1/1 | 20,783 | T)

In which brainy freshman Stiles Stilinski wants star quarterback Derek Hale to join the math team, AKA math nerds in love.

the lunch table configuration by thepsychicclam (1/1 | 16,677 | E)

When Isaac makes Derek switch lunch tables, the last thing Derek expected was to fall for Stiles.

The Sound of My Heart by orphan_account (4/4 | 8,654 | T)

Stiles is bored.

It always happens this time of year. It’s the middle of August, summer is winding to a close, and he’s run out of things to distract him. He’s marathoned Buffy four times and as much as he loves it, Spike is starting to be a little less charming and a little more irritating. It’s also not helping that Scott barely has enough time to separate his lips from Allison’s to tell him he can’t hang out.

Scott is officially the worst best friend ever.

In which Stiles meets Derek at the police station

A Thousand Fiery Suns of Angst - Just Press Play by apocryphal (1/1 | 20,934 | T)

All Stiles wants from life is to learn to control his magic, keep his grades up, and not die horribly while saving Beacon Hills from supernatural threats. It’s all going pretty well until Derek Hale, werewolf extraordinaire, has to go and ask him on a date. That asshole.

Just the Same by ericaismeg (7/7 | 68,066 | G)

Something is seriously up with the captain of the lacrosse team. There’s just no way Derek Hale is human.“I was wondering if you’re even human. You move so quickly. I mean, it’s ridiculously fast. No human should be able to move that fast, y'know? It’s unfair for us. I mean, it’s obvious you work out, and I don’t, so that could be why, but like…I was just wondering if you were human, that’s all.”

“Stop talking, Stilinski, or I'll—”

“Put me on the bench all season?” Stiles asks knowing full well that Derek Hale can’t threaten him with shit.

loving him is red by allhalethekings (1/1 | 14,915 | M)

“Who’s that?” Stiles asks, eyes not leaving the table.

“Who?” Scott asks, following Stiles’s line of sight. “Him? That’s Derek Hale. And you better forget about him. He doesn’t date.“

Practice Makes Perfect by blacktofade (1/1 | 21,061 | E)

In his sophomore year, Stiles gets dragged to lacrosse tryouts by Scott and ends up practising alongside the senior captain, Derek Hale. Stiles just wants to live long enough to become a junior.

#sterek #fic rec #ask #high school #rec list #emmausher

[orionsangel86]

13x12 - Episode Review - What is Fifth Base Anyway?

So the people at Google must have been confused when they discovered the number of searches for “fifth base” drastically went up overnight… Steve Yokey you cheeky bugger I love you! (Show of hands everyone who did this? Go on, admit it!)

This episode was really good. One of the stronger ones of an already very strong bunch as season 13 continues to exceed in quality. It had jokes, it had deep emotional revelations, it had Cas once again using his SuperPower of sassing the fuck out of things to get what he wants. Yeah it was pretty awesome! So let’s delve into the main points.

The Red Herring Love Spell

We were all expecting this to be an episode similar to 12x11 based on how it was marketed to us. Dean is under a love spell! It’s up to Sam and Rowena to save him! That seemed to be the gist of the PR team’s focus. As ever, PR is not Showrunning and this turned out to be one giant red herring.

The love spell lasted all of five minutes. So why bother? WHY was a love spell even PART of this plot?! Seriously? Someone tell me how this episode couldn’t have followed the EXACT same narrative with the sisters using some other spell to force people to do things for them? The fact is, that love spell was pointless for the plot but excellent for getting people thinking about LOVE. Specifically, Dean Winchester and LOVE, or at least, what love should be, and what it most definitely is not.

Aside from the fact that the clunky music whenever the love spell was invoked made me cringe, I thoroughly enjoyed how innocent it all seemed. Dean got to play Prince Charming to the princess and provide her with a gift of her choosing. I think it says something about Dean that the love spell encouraged this fairy tale vibe specifically for him, when for Dale at the start it was all about him playing protector and hero through violence and theft. I just thought it was an interesting statement about Dean’s wishes and desires compared to other men. Though I gotta admit, the gift giving, goofiness and oh I dunno, protecting his lover from a gun? It all seemed rather familiar to me… Hmmm…

I mean who else has Dean previously entrusted with powerful one off weapons?

Who else has Dean had to recently protect from a pointed gun much to his own horror rather than the recipient who is unlikely to be harmed by a regular gun anyway?

Who else makes Dean goofy and pull these silly delighted faces?

*looks into the camera like on the Office*

Yeah, but see these are not really examples of true love, even though they are all things done with Cas. What IS true love in season 13 is something that subtextually KEEPs getting referred to in EVERY EPISODE. That in 13x01 – 13x05 Dean was deeply lost in grief. Deeply mourning over the loss of Cas – someone who he is truly in love with. Love makes you do crazy things? Yeah, and as Billy said in 13x05 (Yokey’s last episode FYI) Dean wanted to die. Cas’s death had brought him to that level. The fact that now it is SAM who is feeling low, feeling powerless because of the loss of Mary and Jack, and Dean is able to remain focussed and have HOPE that they will save them, continues to be astonishingly hypocritical of Dean given where he was when Cas was dead. But it does keep drawing our attention to that fact, and for that I love it.

Bonus point for “I think you may be right, I think its time we go ahead and call Cas…” … “I’m in love” because Yokey could have written Sam saying ANYTHING at that point but he chose to remind the audience about Cas at that exact moment… as Dean announces he is in love, because the two are connected (and because it then wouldn’t be that much of a stretch to assume that Sam’s initial reaction is “Oh… so you finally admit it?”)

(FYI this crappy gif is my own. Don’t judge. It’s the first I’ve ever made.)

Sam’s mild amusement here just fits the “oh so you finally admit it? We can call Cas and start the wedding preparations?” interpretation and NO ONE can stop me seeing it that way! :D

Bonus Point two for the mentions of “Soulmates” (which relate to Angels in the show) and “Cosmic” (which again, tends to relate to angels and Cas).

Bonus point three that this is an episodes marketed as Dean being in love! LOOK AT ALL THIS HETEROSEXUALITY! It seems to scream at our general audiences, and yet, as always in SPN, if the GA are seeking heterosexuality, they are to be disappointed. They got a 5 minute mini love spell plot and Dean once again is without even a hint of an actual true female romantic partner. Nope, sorry heteros seeking a woman for Dean. You won’t find that here!

Basically, it’s not too much of a stretch to interpret this entire love spell mini plot as exposition for the TRUTH regarding Dean and “true love”. Because we all know it. It’s right there in the subtext. I just wish they’d make it text already.

Review continues under the cut as per usual...

Addressing Long unspoken Trauma – FINALLY

Officially my favourite part of the episode (unofficially my second fave part after “fifth base”), the conversations between Sam and Rowena about their trauma at the hands of Lucifer had me welling up. This is the first time in SPN history that Sam has actually opened up to ANYONE about his Lucifer trauma. Read that again. Be amazed that it has taken this long. Send Dabb and Yokey a fruit basket for this.

One thing season 13 has been excellent at doing, is making things textual that were previously only implied. This seems to be a continued trend following on from the reveal in 12x22 that Dean is effectively Sam’s parent (A fact meta writers have been talking about for YEARS.)

I don’t really have much to say about it actually, because it’s all just THERE in the text. It has left me kind of speechless.

SAM: Its not gonna change anything, you’re still gonna feel helpless. What Lucifer did to you…

ROWENA: I told you I don’t… before he crushed my skull, Lucifer showed me his face. His true face. I’m scared Sam. All the time.

SAM: I’ve seen it too. What he really looks like behind… behind whatever vessel… yeah it still keeps me up at night.

ROWENA: How do you deal with it?

SAM: I guess I don’t deal with it, not really. I mean I…Ive pushed it down, and the world kept almost ending and so I keep pushing it down and I dunno… I don’t really talk about it, not even with Dean, I mean I could… he would listen but, it’s not something I really know how to share.

…..

SAM: Even if you do get the book, and even if you get your power back. It won’t matter. You won’t ever be able to change what happened, you won’t be able to change how helpless you felt, or how helpless you feel. You’re still gonna get scared. That feeling, that feeling never goes away.

ROWENA: Never?

SAM: Never.

…

Honestly it’s perfect. Yokey has decided that enough is enough. We need to discuss this. We need to talk about the fact that our main characters have a shit load of trauma. It’s about GODDAMN TIME.

(x)

I just want to scream about the shots for a second though because god bless Amanda Tapping for being so excellent at capturing emotions. I am starting to think she is one of the best directors for it. The intimate long close ups on the actors faces as they open about this stuff, it just works. The soft music in the back ground pulls no focus away from the gravity of Sam’s words. It’s intense, and harrowing and kudos to Jared here because I think he must have been ITCHING for a moment like this for Sam for YEARS (and for god sake someone ask him about this scene at a con instead of more bloody prank questions PLEASE.)

I also love that it’s Rowena who Sam opens up to about this stuff, because she has that in common with him. I know that it can be argued that Cas has also experienced trauma at the hands of Lucifer, but since Cas is an angel it’s not the same. I doubt Lucifer’s true face would affect Cas, since Cas is already an angel with the ability to see and cope with seeing things that human minds struggle to comprehend.

I think Rowena and Sam is our new Dean and Crowley. They are enemies, but they have a mutual respect for one another and I see this as a really good thing both for Sam and Rowena. Because Crowley was changed thanks to his bond with Dean (love for Dean), he was able to find redemption in that. Rowena could also now find redemption, especially considering her newly powered up status. For Sam I think it was a smart choice to give Rowena the pages at the end. It wasn’t just about the bond they formed over shared trauma, it was Sam knowing that Rowena is right, that Lucifer will always find a way back, and Sam knows that eventually he will have to face him again, and he needs all the help and power he can get, so a powered up Rowena is a powerful ally to have against the creature that tortured and broke both their spirits.

Am I shipping them? No, not really. I still think Rowena is a villain. I never shipped Drowley, though I acknowledge it’s existence in the show as basically a hairsbreadth away from canon. (it’s technically just as close to canon if not more so than Destiel and strongly implied that they hooked up in various episodes). But if the show did go there with Sam and Rowena I wouldn’t mind it as such. I just don’t think it would be endgame. But sure, it could work for a while. I see them more like frenemies with mutual interests. Besides, I’m a Saileen girl all the way and will continue to hope for Eileen’s resurrection this season.

Narrative Mirrors – Witches and Winchesters

Ah narrative mirrors, don’t we love them? I especially love them when they highlight the Winchester family dynamics and just how screwed up they all are. Our witchy sisters fall extremely easily into this category. Jamie and Jenny or “J2” as I now plan to call them (I see what you did there Yokey). So J2 are motivated to do whatever it takes to bring back mum. Whatever it takes even though they are hardly competent witches and only seem to have one spell mastered – the love spell. The older sister uses her charm to encourage the victims to do whatever they wish for, whilst the younger sister is the smarter of the two, more skilled in magic (I wonder who they are supposed to represent?)

They have one purpose, and will stop at nothing until that purpose is fulfilled:

JAMIE: I’m sorry, I know I’m the big sister and I’m supposed to be the strong one or whatever.

JENNY: Yeah?

JAMIE: I just really miss her.

JENNY: I do too.

JAMIE: I know, and I like, really believe in us

JENNY: Jamie, I just want her back so bad

JAMIE: And we’re going to get her back, even if we have to cast every spell in this book and curse the souls of like a million people to make it happen.

Doesn’t this sound rather familiar? Like from 13x09:

DEAN: You were right, about mom you were right, this whole time we should have been looking for her

SAM: I was just hoping, I didn’t know. And anyway it doesn’t matter, now that we do know.

DEAN: We find her, no matter what it takes.

Which always made me kinda uncomfortable. There is a reason that Billy didn’t want Dean knowing their mum was still alive. Because Billy knows that the Winchesters would break the Universe to bring her back. “House of Cards” she called it. What’s the betting that thanks to Sam and Dean this “house of cards” is going to come tumbling down just as Billy predicted? Because I would put money on it.

At the end of the episode, we realise that Sam and Dean are in exactly the same place as J2. Jamie – the older sister, trying to support and reassure her younger sister, the one who “wants mom back so badly”. Jamie, unlike her sister, is totally focused on completing their task, whereas Jenny has her doubts. Just like Sam and Dean. We know that Dean is back to “We’ll figure it out” and “you and me” even though Sam is NOT on board with this, but like Jenny, Sam will follow Dean into a hornets nest if it means doing what they set out to do and save mum.

The girls mum came back wrong though, a zombie. When Mary was first resurrected she certainly wasn’t what the boys expected either, and now she is lost again, whose to say just what state she will be in when she is finally freed? Perhaps the message for the boys here is to actually let her go? As in, let go of the memory of Mary that they had sat on a pedestal (Dean in particular) and start to accept the woman their mother actually is, and let her do her thing, because otherwise it may kill them all.

And isn’t this moment just a perfect visual representation of the toxic co-dependency that is the Winchester brothers? Stab stab stab. One of them even has a hammer… LOL.

(Yup its another one of my crappy gifs.)

The Sassiest Angel in the Garrison

Oh Cas, I have missed your beautiful face…

(x)

(Dipper agrees with me)

Now I think everyone knows by now that I hate Lucifer. As in, I find the character extremely irritating and just want him off our screens dead and buried, and that Mark P can go annoy some other shows audience. The ONLY thing that makes watching Lucifer remotely bearable for me, is Castiel - wonderful, perfect, funny, grumpy, brilliant Castiel, sassing the fuck out of him. Bearing in mind all their scenes but one took place behind bars, I was as always captivated by Cas and the brilliant genius he is.

So far in season 13, Castiel hasn’t actually spent much time using his powers, his grace, to actually get anything done. What he has done, is be incredibly smart and used that tactician brain of his to talk himself out of any situation. Everything Castiel does has a purpose. He is generally a creature of few words (except when it comes to Dean) and therefore, whenever he does speak, it is usually with a great deal of thought. (There was a brilliant meta on the word “assbutt” and how it is the worst insult he could possibly throw at Lucifer and yet everyone still ridicules him for it. Don’t knock the word assbutt. Cas knew exactly what he was doing!)

And so Cas isn’t just being a sassy little bitch in this episode. He’s being a sassy little bitch with purpose. Lucifer may be powered down, but he still has power. Cas knows this. Cas knows that the best way to get Lucifer activating what little power he has is to make him angry. So what does Cas do? He sass’s him, over and over. Pissing him off until eventually, it works.

“Turns out rage is a good motivator”

Such a badass. Bye bye little Dipper.

This is why you should never underestimate Castiel. He will always get the better of you. He will always come out on top in the end.

“This is me, learning from my mistakes” he says whilst stabbing Lucifer at the end of the episode. I thoroughly enjoyed that moment of course, even if we know already it doesn’t stick. Since Lucifer is alive next episode. *sigh*.

Lucifer has been continuously hinting all episode that he want’s Cas’s grace. It seems possible due to pics from next week, that he may actually get what he seeks.

Cas has blood on his collar, which he doesn’t have at the end of 13x12. So is Cas about to become human again? Or at least graceless? It’s possible. @tinkdw​ wrote this post about it (yes I stole her screencap). We were discussing this in our group chat yesterday and thanks to the themes that would come from another human!Cas story I can certainly get behind it, even if I hate the idea that it isn’t his choice yet again. This time, having Lucifer steal his grace seems worse than the first time. But as I mentioned above, Castiel has already shown several times this season that his grace is in no way where his strengths lie. I just hope that it is still his choice in the end to give it up, or not regain it, however that story may pan out.

But yeah maybe prepare ourselves for a human Cas whose grace was stolen by Lucifer plot? I mean if it doesn’t happen great, but if it does... don’t say we didn’t warn ya okay? I know how sensitive we all get about Cas stuff - this is literally the first any of us had thought of this. Besides, he’ll still be amazing even if Lucifer does take his grace, He’ll get in a few more stabs before the end. No doubt.

Other Awesome Stuff

The “fifth base” scene. Yeah this was certainly risqué of Yokey. I was screaming about this to Tink in the chatty bubbles, trust a gay writer to throw in a gay joke aimed at our currently in the closet bisexual lead character and have him act all awkward like he doesn’t know what it is… *glances at Sam* What? Nope, I’ve never… There’s NO SUCH THING AS FIFTH BASE. Sure Jan. Just as I scoff at the idea of Dean not knowing basic French, the idea that Dean DOESN’T know what fifth base is, is absurd. These are purposely input into this episode to raise our eyebrows and DOUBT them.

Baring in mind the way Rowena asks that question “Did THEY get to fifth base?” not “Did YOU get to fifth base” strongly implies actually that Rowena was asking if Dean was pegged. Let’s get that clear. Once again, we have a bottom!dean joke in the subtext of the show. (At some point we need to round up EVERY reference to Dean’s ass and compare it to the other characters just to make this point.)

Oh gosh I haven’t even got to “What’s by is by” yet. The top result in google for this supposed saying is a destiel fanfic written as coda for this episode. There is NOTHING else. It doesn’t exist. What is Yokey playing at exactly? Bygones be bygones maybe? But she had to say it like that? After a reference to anal? To DEAN? Yeah I know everyone is probably already yelling about this on tumblr but still. This is a very huge WTF from me to Yokey that he would ever think we WOULDN’T pick up on this. He did it on purpose. It has a reason, just like everything else. The reason being “Dean is Bi”.

......

(x)

The final scene with Rowena is spectacular. It’s also oddly erotic but maybe that’s just me. Rowena is finally unbound, powerful, free, and probably quite deadly. Here’s hoping she raises a hell of a storm. I have always loved Rowena’s character so for me this idea of her being “unbound” and basically immortal is really interesting. I just hope this paves the way to her helping the Winchesters defeat the big bads to come. Because I see her becoming more of an ally as time goes by. I hope she continues to have a big part to play in the story, and after this final scene I am practically sure she will. 

....

Castiel speaking about Jack like he’s a proud parent gives me life. He truly loves the kid. It’s beautiful.

....

Why does Lucifer attract so many dick jokes nowadays? I’m actually almost getting tired of them. For shits and giggles I’m gonna accept it at face value that Lucifer, unlike Crowley, is not well endowed. It makes sense. The tantrums, the violence. Little man syndrome. Pfft.

I’m also going to take it at face value that Cas is most likely huge. Yeah, that smirk is telling.

We all know he’s a big boy. ;-)

.... 

Hats off to Brenda. The biggest star of the episode. Never failed to make me laugh every time I watched.

You go Brenda. You were awesome.

Overall

Solid episode with lots of great moments. Now all I need is Cas to find the boys and get really pissy with them when he realises they didn’t ONCE figure out that Colonel Sanders was impersonating him. I mean sure, Dean has super low self esteem and was clearly grumpy with Cas at the start of the episode for only really checking in with Sam, not coming home after taking off, clearly CHOOSING the road over being at home with HIM... But that doesn’t excuse him being blind to Asmodeus’s impersonation. Bring on next week. I hope Dean grovels.

#supernatural #episode review #13x12 #destiel #spn meta #spn speculation #dean is bi #castiel #dean winchester #sam winchester #rowena #lucifer #season 13 #spn spoilers #my reviews #my meta

[evalocity]

Can you say something nice about mutuals you've interacted with who you think are closest to you? Can be as many as you wish, it's time to spread positivity😊😊

This is a wonderful idea boo, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to do this :) 

(it might be a bit long lmao here we go!)

@the-fierce-fangirl Ria, you were my first tumblr friend on here, in March 2018 we’ll have known each other for a year now ! I knew no one on here when we met, you reblogging my post was ?? a blessing ! someone noticed me ! and we started to talk, and you’ve been the purest and sweetest friend I could ask for. My birthday present ? That you freaking sent me ? I don’t deserve you. I just...there’s no words dear friend, to tell you how much you mean to me ;-; One day I’ll come to Poland and we’ll have tones of fun ! xoxo

@jasonblossomsghost Or, I remember when we first started talking. I was shy at first, but you seemed sweet, and honestly bless those swedish fish for starting our friendship. You’ve always been such a good friend, one that I don’t need to talk to 24/7 to know I can count on, and one that I’ve always wanted to defend because oh my god why are people in Kansas so annoying lmao. You’ve educated me on subjects that I knew nothing about and you’ve been there for me in dark moments, and I’m so so grateful. xoxo

@sapphic-spook Rose, you’re an amazing human. Idk if I could handle your aura irl, because just online you are such a ray of sunshine. You’re so nice and wise, your words can calm me down and make me feel better like no others can. Hell the apocalypse could me happening and you’d tell me to chill and I would :’) nah I think you’d know better than to tell me that x) but seriously, you’re amazing, and I just need to thank you for handling my panic attacks like the boss you are. I hope you’re happy, whenever I think of you I’m sending you tones of positive vibes because that’s what you deserve. xoxo

@addcolortomysky Em, it’s been a while since we’ve talked ! But that doesn’t mater, whenever I do an ask game I remember how much you love those and I tag you because making you happy makes me happy. Thank you for sharing my crazy interests, sharing them with you was hilarious ! I miss you, sorry for sucking at staying in contact :’) xoxo

@crazyreader1899 Hi Matata ! We’re mutuals and it’s been a freaking while since we’ve talked (I suck, I know). But nevertheless ! You know that meme where a guy is standing in an empty auditorium and waves and the text says something along the lines “me at that mutuals who likes all of my posts” well every time I see it on my dash, I think of you. Seeing you in my notifications always make me smile because you’ve kept up with my shit for so long now ?? You’re great, thank you, ily. xoxo

@izzyd03 Izzy !! You’re such a sweet human you know that ? I feel like I don’t do enough to let you know how much I appreciate you caring about me, like when you’d wish me good luck on my finals because you’d remember when they were ?? I’ve cherished those good lucks my dude, you’re such a good friend. Also your Instagram ? On point girl, you’re beautiful, you go. xoxo

@sugasugahanihani Bia ! Babe omg ;-; First of all, I want to apologize to you for being the worst™ and never keeping up with texting you I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me but please never doubt how much I care about you because you are !! the best !! I’m so dumb Idk how to express this friendship, you just mean so much ? You are so freaking sweet and I can rant to you and I can talk to you and you’re always there like omg I do not deserve you girl, you’re such a blessing. xoxo

@mr-bushido Hi boo ! We’ve been mutuals for hum a freaking while ?? I wanted to take a minute to thank you because you’ve actually helped me discover a bunch of k-pop groups and songs ! You’re a sweet mutual and I enjoy your blog very much. I hope you’ll have an amazing year 2018 :) xoxo

@yoonminfaketexts Hii ! I absolutely love your blog omg :’) I feel dumb rn because we don’t know each other but ! We’re mutuals and I really appreciate what you post so thank you for making me smile you’re not unnoticed xoxo 

@moonlightkth Bel !! Can we take a second to bless your fake texts because 1. They’re amazing 2. Without them I wouldn’t have known you ;-; Sharing BTS and Got7 with you ? An accomplishment™. I consider you like a little sister and I hope you know you can always count on me. xoxo

@nooowestayandgetcaught Hi Rie ! First, it’s been a while since we’ve talked I’m such a mess, but I wanted you to remember how great I always thought your writing was, as an author you’ve been an inspiration and I’m so proud of you ! Plus, you’ve educated me on some stuff, always being respectful and kind. Thank you so much. xoxo

@clap-your-hands-yo Kensley ! My fave NCT blog ;) and one of my fave blogs actually ! You’re hum so freaking talented ?? Like honestly when God made you he dropped all the damn Talent™ bottle Istg :’) When I think about you, I know it’s stupid but the first word that comes to mind if “perfection”. I’m proud of you for your grades, for the work you’re putting in learning my language, for being so sweet, for being you. xoxo

@lovingyoongi Hopi !! Babe ! I’m so glad everything is going well for you in Korea, oh my god. We’ve always simply shared our love for BTS together, but I really care about you and man, your happiness is mine ok ? Have a blast in Seoul, you deserve it all. xoxo

@emmcfrxst Pasc :) Idk if I should talk to you in French or English ? That’s kinda awkward :’) OH WELL. You are such a sweet human omg, always taking the time to make people feel better, always being so considerate, always trying to fight against problematic stuff to create a safe space for your followers. You’re awesome ! xoxo

@mintysugasweet Rae ! You’re a new friend, but you’re a friend I’ve liked immediately. You are so so nice ! Texting you has made my days better, would it be by sharing my theories with your (amazing, incredible, awesome, breathtaking) au, simply talking about our mutual interests or learning more about your experiences in Korea. I don’t remember how I’ve discovered your blog but the least I can say is that I’m so thankful I did. xoxo

@exoverdosed Chelsea !!! My fave blog on this hellsite omg ;-; Idk what to say without getting emo just thank you for being so great ? Your blog lets me keep up with our Kings, and your tags make it the funniest thing ever. I can always count on you for moral support and to help my clueless ass about what’s going on in the k-pop world. Ily, ot9 rule and yass you’re cool keep up being you. xoxo

@sugahobiby Lune, it’s been a while since we remade, I remember our first interaction being me trying to send you positive vibes because you were stressing out about uni. Look at you now ! I hope you know you can count on me to help you in all the ways I humanly can, would it just be someone to talk to. Also I live for your snapchat stories lmao it’s a blessing :’) xoxo

@noona-clock Hi you two ! I wanted to thank you for all your great reactions and fics, I always enjoy reading them they’re soft and really great ! You seem so nice and I hope you both have an amazing year 2018 :) xoxo

@baekphia Sophia, I’ve been following you for a while and when we became mutuals I was SO freaking happy ! You’re nice, you’re so much fun and it reflects in your blog that I enjoy a LOT. Have an amazing year 2018 filled with your best friends (EXO), your mutuals and followers, your sister and Bakehyun with his possible new album !! xoxo

@minnie-rocker-xx Hi boo ! We haven’t spoken that much because idk if you’ve guessed but I’m a MESS at keeping up but you seem so nice already omg ! Why don’t you send me a message detailing all of your interests so we can talk about them ? I’d love to know you more :) xoxo

@softminmin Tila, mY GIRL. It all began when I was just a casual fan of your fake texts, and then you noticed me and I proudly became your cheerleader™ (I still am btw no one is taking that spot.) ! And now we’re friends and omg Ilysm. It’s like we don’t have to force any conversations we just naturally connect. I feel like a copycat lmao because your feelings and your thoughts are the same as mine ? It feels so great to be able to share with you, honestly everyone deserves someone like you babe. Good luck on your finals, I know you can do it ! xoxo 

IT TOOK ME A FREAKING WHILE, and I hope I didn’t forget anyone !! I love you so much, not just my mutuals but all my followers and all the ones that I follow ! THANK YOU ANON XOXO 

[imaginexmeintheuniverse]

Just a Pretty Face

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Steamy kissing? So much fluff you’ve been warned

Word Count: 12, 175

Summary: Reader is Peter Parker’s best friend and realizes they are hopelessly in love with him while sifting through all the milestones in the relationship.

Masterlist

A/N: This is my very first fic! I know it’s really long; I may or may not have gotten carried away. It’s mostly a series of memories leading to the point I guess? I read this over before posting it and cringed for my life but here goes nothing! I am a science student, not a writer so please forgive its crappiness. I hope you enjoy it!

I learned early on in life that being a female I’d have to face many more challenges than any male whether it was in a school setting, career or even buying a god-damned car. My mother told me that even something so mundane like buying car would be another challenge to face with sexist stereotypes. When a man walks into a dealership he is asked what kind of car he is looking for; the specs and all. When a woman walks into a dealership she is asked what color she’s looking for.

This being said, let it be known that I was always told how pretty I was growing up; relatives gushing over the ribbons in my hair, how I’d break a lot of hearts and assuming I’d want to be a princess when I grew up (aka implying that I would marry rich as if I didn’t have any career goals). My mother always made sure that I never let any of that get to me, hence teaching me that life will be tougher on me than any male specimen I will encounter. With all this being said, I decided to retract into my shell; throw myself into my studies and hide any evidence of outer beauty. I was tired of never being taken seriously, being told I was too pretty to be smart, teachers thought I was cheating off the kid next to me in class, but the worst was the way some people took the long way to get to class out of fear of running into my friends and I.

I knew being popular meant having an intimidating and glorified image but I didn’t realize until the beginning of sophomore how bad it was. I won’t get into the details right now but it was enough to smack me with a reality check like I should’ve had a V8. Always being the more quiet and reserved one in my group of friends it wasn’t too hard for me to alienate myself. After some much needed introspection, I realized that I lost my way and the people I called my friends didn’t really know me and everything was on the surface; shallow. I did a complete 180 on my previous reputation; from being part of the crowd who is envied and at the center of high school attention and gossip, to completely forgotten, as though I had never existed. This is exactly what I wanted.

I took drastic measures to disappear: I started by tackling that fear-of-missing-out attitude, hence the realization that my friends were all fake. The constant pressure of having to go to every party and cheerleading practice where we were the center of attention was exhausting. I missed dancing but sometimes I managed to catch the school dance studio empty and still took a few classes. Bless New York for being one of the dance capitals. The hardest was having to sacrifice my style. Not that I threw all my clothes out or stopped taking care of my hygiene, I simply just wore comfortable clothes to school. No more cute dresses or flashy outfits that are fully accessorized. I let my hair grow long, it didn’t really bother me since I always had it up in a ponytail or messy bun or covered with a hat. I never wore much makeup other than for special occasions like school dances or cheerleading purposes so it wasn’t that big of a hit to take. I hid any trace that I could be an “it” girl or cared what people thought of me.

It didn’t even take that long for me to stop being pestered to go to practices, parties or after-school mall hang outs. It’s been two years since then, it’s senior year now and I just have to stick it through so I can get out of the revolving shit hole that is high school. Macey was the only one who still talked to me from my old group, we’ve been friends since the second grade and she was the only one who really knew me. We didn’t hang out often, but when we did nothing between us ever changed.

So how does an adorable dork like Peter Parker come into all this? We were friends when we were kids and only lived a few blocks away from each other’s apartment buildings, not to mention my mother and his aunt were high school friends. We used to spend a lot of time together, almost best friends you could say, but come middle school and social hierarchies, we drifted I guess. With my transformation, came sort of a renewed friendship that awkwardly formed as we got to know each other all over again when I joined the mathletes and robotics club.

I supposed it could be classified as “going full nerd” although to be perfectly candid, I genuinely have always been interested in all that stuff and Peter and I have grown close through late nights of studying and binging on both food that was bound to one day give us heart attacks and whatever TV show we were currently into. We were both awkward at social interaction in general but our conversations had this natural flow and we’d always have something to talk about. When we didn’t there was a comfortable silence.

I am almost certain he had somewhat of a crush on me when our weird friendship started but I didn’t think much of it, since it would either disappear over time like my image of beauty or if it was real he would probably say something about it. Peter is without a doubt the cutest, however he clearly had a thing for Liz Allan. Who could blame him? She was popular, super pretty and kind; her mere existence could attract anyone.

Something did change with Peter during sophomore year, though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, it’s as though he had this new found confidence. He probably never realized that I noticed he had grown into a more muscular stature, he was insanely strong and his reflexes were lighting fast. Whether it was our friendship reaching a certain level of comfort or the on-going internship he had with Tony Stark, it did him a lot of good. Of course he was still nervous and geeky Peter, that would never change.

“Have you been going to the gym or something?” I had playfully squeezed his arm.

“W-what are you talking about?!” he flinched away from me and all I could do was giggle at how red his cheeks got.

“I bet Liz will think that you’re a total hottie now,” I sang as I lean on him and fan at my face dramatically.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he pouted.

For some reason he’d still let himself be pushed around by the Neanderthals  at school. I knew it was all an act because he didn’t hide his quick reflexes when we were alone or if some object came hurling at me he’d catch it. Like the other day, we were walking past an open basketball court on the way to his apartment and I saw the ball heading straight for my face but I froze. I would’ve probably had some sort of a minor concussion if it weren’t for Peter.

There have also been other episodes of strange behavior like bailing on me early when we’d go out, turning the volume low when we’d listen to music and always being so tired during our night hang outs. He was always the first one to fall asleep but I just assumed it was because he’s a sleepy child whereas I barely slept at all unless it was at Peter’s home, snuggled up to his side. The worst was seeing him with random bruises or scratches, which he refused to talk about. This worried me to no end. So I did my best and tried to treat his wounds whenever I caught them.

I guess he kind of was my best friend and I was his but was sort of an unspoken thing until I bluntly asked him around the summer of sophomore year when we were having our third Star Wars Marathon. I just straight up asked him around 3am while we shared a blanket. Despite it being extreme sweat-inducing temperatures during the day, that night was rather chilly and the small waste bin was filled with wrappers from junk food we had devoured. “Peter, am I your best friend?” I simply asked.

“Huh, wha- ehm I-” he said groggily. He had trouble keeping his eyes open,  and here I was wide awake shooting out this question out of nowhere. Side note: I have my bouts of insomnia which he is aware of, so it didn’t surprise him that I was talking to him even though he was clearly falling asleep.

“Because you’re my best friend,” he sat up and rubbed his eyes awake as I realized how ridiculous I must sound, “d-don’t worry about hurting my feelings or anything, I uh, just wanted you to know.” I mentally slapped myself for sounding like a complete imbecile. Surprise, surprise I’m not really one to subtly hint nor am I one to “beat around the bush”.

“Yeah,” he simply stated. I had to do a double take because I was too busy mentally scolding myself. This kind of stuff means a lot to me considering I didn’t really have any true friends other than Macey so having someone who I could mutually call a best friend is a huge deal for me. Peter is the only person I trust to know all of me, all of my quirks and insecurities. I stared at him wide-eyed, so he continued, “well, I thought you already knew. Now, shhhhh, sleep is good.” With that, Peter closed his eyes, tightened the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders and sank us down to a more comfortable position. He stroked my hair absent-mindedly with his other hand and I somehow managed to fall asleep to the sounds of the Death Star being blown up.

When I say he’s my best friend, I mean no sugar coating, we have a cute friendship with cuddles and deep talks about life but it’s way more than that; it’s real. We fight, not often though and besides we couldn’t go more than two days without talking to each other and I can actually talk to him about real problems. We tell each other everything from daily embarrassments to the kind of cereal we ate for breakfast. Or at least I thought we did. Peter is the only person I trust completely because he is good. It’s a short reason but even though I knew he was hiding something from me, I trusted he had a good reason and it was what he knew to be the right thing to do.

I definitely was not shy about letting him know when it was that time of the month and I was especially not to be messed with. I kept my dancing to myself for as long as I could, but it didn’t take long before he found out.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a dance recital this weekend!” he had looked at me in total disbelief and I looked at him in wide-eyed shock, “Hell, why didn’t you tell me you still dance! I had to find out from Aunt May. Why. Didn’t. You. Tell. Me,” he was shaking me by my shoulders.

Oh mom, you did not…

“Because, it’s not a big deal,” I mimicked him by shaking his shoulders, “and you so don’t have to come.”

“Too late,” he said with a smirk, “your mom got us tickets.”

“I’m gonna-” as my hands were retreating into fist alongside my body, he trapped me in a bear hug before I could stomp away. He wouldn’t let me go until the frown slipped off my face and I gave into his hug.

Our friendship was slow at first, getting to know each other all over again. But once we did we got comfortable real quick. I don’t know exactly which moment specifically fast forwarded all that, it could’ve been his aunt inviting my family over for dinner when she found out he and I were friends again. The timing was really bad because it was during midterms (which we totally aced, just gonna throw that in) so Peter and I spent most of the night studying in his room, but he still took the time to play video games to entertain my little sister. Despite the dread of exams hanging over my head, the scene gave me nice warmth; my sister totally wrecking him at Mario Kart with his aunt and my mother catching up and conversing like they were still in high school.

It could’ve also been our first sleepover (not counting the ones we’d have as kids). It was my turn to choose what marathon and I chose Star Trek, much to Peter’s chagrin.

“You’ve never watched The Next Generation?”

“There’s no way will it be better than Star Wars.”

“You are ridiculous!” I utter as I slip the disc in.

A few hours in I could tell he was enjoying himself, so I nudge at his ribcage and look up to him with a pleased grin.

“Star Wars is still better,” he mutters.

Thus started a four-hour long debate with no resolution. It resulted with us on opposite ends of the couch, cross-armed and not talking to each other. That went on for a while with both of us stealing glances to check if the other was close to cracking. Over the span of an episode we ended up inching our way back, meeting each other halfway; literally but not figuratively. That debate is still not resolved to this day. We eventually fell asleep curled up together and my mom wasn’t going to wake us up to send him home that late.

From there, we slept over at each other’s homes whenever and got really close. When we’d hang out he’d always have an arm around my shoulder while marathoning and I’d curl into his side. We’ve fallen asleep countless times with my head nuzzled in the crook of his neck and his head resting on mine. Whenever we’d go places together in the outside world, I’d jump onto his back and we’d always hug each other for pictures and selfies.

All the physical affections were isolated incidents  the first few times but became natural overtime. So we never stopped and it rose exponentially from there. We were so close that I wasn’t even surprised when I’d come home from a dance class to find him already studying in my room with the books already laid out on my bed, but for some reason he was still jumpy sometimes when I’d be waiting for him in his room. It goes without saying that there was evidence of our friendship all over our rooms; his hoodie slung over the back of my desk chair, my baseball cap hanging off his lamp, his biology text book laying on my night table, the list goes on, at that point we gave up on trying to return each other’s stuff.

Eventually, we got so close that from an outside perception we could easily be mistaken as a couple. There have been a few incidents where we studied really late and mistakenly wore each other’s clothes to school.

“Hey Peter, isn’t that hoodie a little short for you?”

“Did your mathlete shirt somehow grow in the laundry?”

We stared at each other wide eyed in embarrassing realization for a few seconds before laughing at our predicament. It wasn’t super obvious since my new wardrobe was basically the same as his. Except sometimes he was better dressed like when he wore button down shirts or nice sweaters. I usually just wore cardigans or hoodies over a loose t-shirt with a pair of jeans or leggings and sneakers. There was this one time where Peter found all my old clothes, which I didn’t have the heart to throw out, and asked me why I never wore them. I told him what I was wearing was just more comfortable. This was before we got as close as we are now but the subject never came up again, so I never told him why I had my change of heart.

Aside from having the other person’s crap all over our rooms, there was the previously mentioned physical aspect to our relationship. Most of these occurrences were accidents at first but soon became habits. Definitely never doing any of this at school, but when going out and in our natural home habitats, we started holding hands, giving each other quick pecks and I started to walk with my arms enveloping one of his around the elbow while smushing my face on his shoulder.

Peter had been wanting to see the dance center I take lessons at so I took him to Manhattan where it was located. Being used to walking the streets downtown, I’m an expert jaywalker, but Peter being the good boy he is, liked to wait for the lights to give the go.

“Come on, there are six seconds left! We can make it if we sprint!” I tugged at his arm.

“Not happening, Y/N, we won’t ma- gah!”

He stumbled a bit as I grabbed his hand and dragged us across the street with oncoming traffic. He looked totally petrified, probably thinking I was going to get us both killed. He was probably about to lecture me about why I shouldn’t jaywalk when I cut him off, “See? one second to spare we’re fine!”

I continued to lead the way down the side walk when I suddenly realized we were holding hands. I became really self-conscious about it and stayed quiet the rest of the way but he didn’t let go until it was time for me to attend the class.

The second time we held hands, Peter took me to the Metropolitan Museum of Art for my seventeenth birthday because I had been dying to go ever since I missed the school field trip due to being sick, which also ruined my perfect attendance record (I’m still sour about that). We were waiting in line for the pyramid exhibit and he had gotten a call from his aunt but I was so excited when it was our turn that I caught his wrist to pull him out of his daze. When he took a step forward, my hand slid down to his hand. He stiffened at first, making me all self-conscious again and my cheeks flamed up. Thinking he was probably freaked out by it, I started to loosen my grip but he simply laced his fingers through mine and continued walking.

That day was also the first time he kissed me (don’t get the wrong idea here kids). If it were up to me I would’ve spent the entire day there till closing time but Peter insisted we had to go back to my apartment, Aunt May saying there was some sort of emergency. Little did I know, while Peter took me to the Met, my mother and May had been setting up a surprise party back at home. I didn’t see anyone when I first walked through the door, so I made my way to the kitchen with Peter in tow.

“Mom, I’m home! What’s the emerge-”

“Surprise!”

I’m not a huge fan of surprises, but this was pretty great. Being a total spazz however, my hand quickly left Peter’s and went up to rub my forehead where I had smacked it on the kitchen doorframe. The pain subsidized quickly after seeing my family, Macey and May with their hands thrown up in the air over the table that was covered with decorations and food, including a cake that my sister baked. The party wouldn’t have been complete without my sister shoving my face in the cake immediately after I blew out the candles. Macey had to leave early, thus, I opened the presents with a face full of cake and icing. Not before making sure everyone else had icing on their faces as well. When it was Peter’s turn, I side hugged him and just full on smashed the side of my face on his. After opening Macey’s gift and thanking her, I walked her to the door to say good bye. I was happily surprised that Macey and Peter got along well during the party. While we alone, she not-so-subtly asked if he and I were secretly dating.

“Am I imagining things, or were you guys holding hands when you walked in?”

“What?! No,” I panicked. She raised an eyebrow, to tell me she wasn’t buying any of the bullshit I was selling, “I mean yes, but, it’s not what you think.”

“You guys are totally dating! Why didn’t you tell me?!” she gushed.

“We-we are not!” I yell-whispered as I took her outside and close the door behind me.

A shit-eating grin spread across her face, “Oh really? So you wouldn’t mind if he took someone else to prom next year?”

“Well, that’s kind of far away to even start thinking about, isn’t it?” Peter and I usually skipped out on the school dances, but I hadn’t really thought about prom. My mom would have my head on a stake if I didn’t go to prom. I figured Peter and I would go together but not together.

“That’s interesting, because I heard that after breaking up with her douche bag boyfriend, Liz is looking for a really nice guy. One who could clean up nicely in a suit. Particularly an adorable geek who’s had his eye on her since freshman year,” she drawled on, “of course she won’t make the first move, but if you’re telling me that you are 100% fine with it, I’ll tell her to go for it. She would never go for someone’s boyfriend, she’s not a man-stealer.”

“He is not my boyfriend!” I denied, “And everyone has had their eye on her since freshman year; she’s Liz Allan!”

“Whatever you say,” she sang, “don’t worry, I won’t give Liz the green card just yet.”

There was no way I was going to convince her so I rolled my eyes and hugged her goodbye before returning inside to open the rest of the gifts and eating cake. My mother sister and May had cleaned their faces already but Peter still had some icing on the side of his cheek and my face was still a complete mess.

I went to the bathroom with Peter, handed him a facecloth and wiped myself clean. I started laughing when I noticed that he kept missing a spot under his jaw even though he was standing right in front of the mirror.

“What’s so funny?”

“You keep missing it,” I giggled. I took a step towards him and pointed at the spot, which was utterly hopeless, so he handed me the cloth. I hesitated for a moment when I realized how close we were standing. Normally it wouldn’t bother me; I was used to Ned teasing us, but for some reason Macey’s words kept running through my head. I had to do something to fend off the awkwardness in my head and licked the icing off his jaw. Clearly not having thought it through, I didn’t mean for it to be sexy or anything. He jumped back in shock and I couldn’t help but bursting out in laughter.

He open and closed his mouth a few time to protest against what I had done, but I guess he couldn’t find the words so he picked me up and swung me around. As he put me back down I knocked my head on the towel rack in the same area as earlier and winced. Peter being Peter, became a nervous wreck and apologized profusely whilst wrapping his arms around my head and rubbing the small bump that started to swell. I continued to laugh.

“Okay now you must be delirious.”

“It doesn’t hurt that bad Pete,” I mustered out in between giggles.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you need ice,” he planted a quick kiss on the bump and I freeze. Before he could start nervously rambling, I slipped  my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest.

“Thanks for today,” I mumbled into his shirt.

“Any time,” he whispered as he rested his chin on my head. We stayed like that until my mom called us for clean up.

From there on out everything just kind of flowed.

Which brings us to present day along with the crippling realization that I had fallen for my best friend. Typical, I know. I don’t know when it happened or when I started noticing, but it just hit me like a ton of bricks as we speak.

After the rush of winter semester midterms and University applications, here we are lying on Peter’s bed listening to music. He’s sitting with his back against the headboard, bobbing his head and fiddling with my hair while my head rests on his lap and I drum my fingers on his stomach. I hate admit it as much as Peter hates to admit how much he secretly enjoys romcoms, but they weren’t kidding when they said all that crap about the love songs making sense. Maybe not “making sense” so much as having something, or someone, to relate it to.

Ever since my birthday this summer, what Macey said has been stuck in my brain. I have been repressing the hell out of it and it’s all crashing down on me now. I’m having one of those rewind moments where I’m tracing my steps back through the past few months to see where I let myself fall like a penguin trying to fly. I’m tracking how all the things we always do make me feel, for lack of a better word: different. My breath stuttered whenever he’d give me peck on my temple before running off, my heart raced whenever he took my hand, I’d get goose bumps when he traced random patterns on my back or arms. I found myself having an overall feeling of extra-lovely warmth that wasn’t there before when he was around and felt cold after he was gone.

“You okay?” as he asks this I realize that I stopped drumming and he must have noticed. Good thing he can’t hear how much my heart rate spiked, because I can hear it pounding in my ears.

“Y-yeah,” I manage to stammer out and remember what Macey said, “So, who are you taking to prom?” I see the tip of his ears turn pink.

“Well, ehm.. I haven’t really thought about it.”

This sends me into a nervous ramble, “Really? It’s in a couple of months and most people already have a date. Haven’t you noticed all the prom-posals around school?”

“Not real-”

“And most girls already have their dresses picked out.”

“Do you have your dress? Or a date?” his question stops me dead in my tracks.

“W-well no, and no, but um,” my rambling continues, “don’t wait too long to ask someone, or else someone else might ask them first,” I can’t stop my downwards spiral, “I heard from Macey that Liz doesn’t have a date yet, you should totally ask her.”

Oh my lord I’m a train wreck.

“Y-you think I should go with her? Would she even say yes to someone like me?”

“Yeah. Yes. You should. Macey also said Liz was kind of interested, in a way that I would interpret her saying yes to you. But um, you know, maybe you should talk to her first.”

It’s like I can see myself in the train wreck I’ve made of myself.

“I don’t think it’s going to happen,” he mutters.

“Oh come on, Peter, you’ve been ogling Liz forever,” I roll my eyes.

“You’re serious about this? What are you going to do for a date?” he takes a serious tone.

I sit up and face him, “Yes you are asking her. Stop being a chicken. As for the other matter, I don’t need a date.”

Can I please unsay all this?

“Oh, so you don’t need a date but I do?”

“Why are you pushing this? You’re infatuated with her, I don’t see the problem here!” my voice raises.

“The problem is,” he stops and clenches his fists.

I let out an impatient huff. I don’t know why I’m acting like this, it’s like I can’t stop it. Peter is always so patient with me and I’m usually just as patient but there’s so much going on my mind right now.

“Never mind,” he looks away.

“No, say it,” I press him.

“No! It doesn’t matter.”

I stand up and snap, “Stop lying to me! We’re not supposed to lie to each other. You always leave abruptly or cancel our plans last minute and then you look like you got the absolute crap beaten out of you the next day, and I doubt Tony Stark has you doing all those things as part of an internship,” I start packing my things into my backpack. I know I’m being unreasonable and suddenly changing the subject to be angry at something completely different, yet I can’t stop it at this point.

“Wait! I-I can explain,” he stands up frantically, placing a hand on my shoulder and turns me around to face him.

“What?”

“I, I” he opens and closes his mouth as if to say something, perhaps the truth. I guess I won’t know, because instead he looks down at his feet and says no louder than a whisper, “I can’t.”

The sound of his voice cracking paired up with the overwhelming amount of emotions, I can feel the sting of tears pricking at the back of my eyelids.

I will not cry. Not here, not now.

I swallow back the tears and coldly shrug his hand off my shoulder as I slip on the straps of my backpack. I only stop for a second to see Peter frozen, looking at me through his long eyelashes whilst his head still faces downwards. The sight makes my heart break. All I want to do is rush over to him, bury my face into his chest and tell him that I understand and forgive him, but I can’t. So I leave, closing his room door behind me.

It must have taken him a moment to process since we rarely fight. Ss I press the elevator button, I hear his front door burst open and Peter calls after me. He soon catches up, stopping right next to me to catch his breath. I plaster a stoic look on my face and stare at the unopened elevator doors, hoping he can’t hear how loud my heart is pounding.

“Look at me,” he pleads, turning me to face him with a hand on my shoulder like he did before. I refuse to meet those big brown eyes of his, knowing I’ll crack if I do. Instead I look down at the tips of our shoes that are only inches apart. “Please just trust me,” he pleads, bending down and angling his neck so his face is in front of mine. “Please.”

He’s got me trapped in his gaze and I follow it up as he straightens himself. I suddenly take notice of how our noses almost touch and how much I want to close the distance between us as the “ding” of the elevator drags me back to reality.

I shake my head, eyes closed to fight the tears and barely whisper, “I can’t,” my voice just as sad as his was when he said the same thing earlier.

I catch a glimpse of Peter through the closing elevator doors. He stands there frozen, staring at his hand as though I’d burned it. The tears spill out as soon as the doors close and I immediately wipe at them furiously so there’s no trace left when I get out.

This night will go down in the history of my life as one of the worst, my insomnia seems to be kicked into hyper drive because all I can do is replay the two seconds of the closing elevator doors. Laying on my own bed, I stare at the glowing stars on my ceiling but all I see are Peter’s soft features contorted in pain. Part of me wants to call him and tell him everything will be okay but the other part is hurt that he doesn’t care about our friendship enough to tell me what the hell is going on with him. That part of me also feels guilty. What kind of best friend am I that the kindest soul I’ve ever met can’t trust me.

Peter has been there for me throughout all of my now less frequent, but used to be almost daily anxiety attacks. It might seem out of character for him to be the calm and collected one, since in public he appears to be the awkward, bumbling geek. In reality, he was the one who made me feel safe; my rock. I can count on my hands the amount of times I’ve cried in the time that I’ve known Peter and he was there for all of them. Even a strong, independent young woman such as myself has moments of weakness. He was always able to calm me with his soft voice and soothing gestures.

The first time Peter witnessed one of my attacks was at school. We had barely started hanging out, mostly studying in the library and I had just started eating with him and Ned at their lunch table. It was the hands down one the most stressful days in my high school career with a test in every class and an oral presentation during last period was the awful cherry on the panic sundae.

I was re-reading my notes in front of Peter who was sitting with his chin resting on his fist with his elbow on the table. I was halfway through my speech and noticed he was staring right at me, or right through me. I turned around to see Liz Allen giggling wither her friends behind me and chuckled when I turned back to Peter who seemed to have snapped out of his daze, “Earth to Casanova Parker.”

He realized who I was referring to, “What?! No- It’s not-”

“You mean you weren’t just staring at Liz Allen?” I purposely said a little too loud for Peter’s comfort.

“Shhhhh! N-no-”

“Of course not,” I smirked, “now will you please time me, I was ten seconds over when I practiced last night and I am not letting that get in the way of my perfect term grade. Honestly, public speaking terrifies me and was my weakness. I did well in language classes up until it was time for presentations.

As our short break was coming to an end, the fear of speaking in front of people and the sleep-deprivation along with all the information crammed into my brain was getting to me.

"Are you okay?” Peter asked as he looked down at the index cards shaking in my hands.

“Y-yes, yeah I’ll be fine,” I stammered, “I think I just need to go to the bathroom to breathe a bit.”

I made my way to the bathroom with Peter following close behind, clearly not buying my crap about being fine. I tried to keep it together until I could get to the bathroom but I sprinted through the last hallway and flung the door open so fast it slammed against the wall. My hands started shaking uncontrollably and I felt the horrible familiar tightening around my chest that made my breaths short and ragged. Thanks to the warning bell, the bathroom was empty leaving the echoes of my unsteady breathing to be the only noise. I sank down behind the door, not caring if it hit me if someone came in, with my back against the wall and my head resting on my knees. Like most of my anxiety attacks, I felt like I was going to die. I tried to steady my breathing with no avail and started to panic more when the bell rang meaning I was late for class. My vision became blurred by tears welling up and my throat ran dry while tried to hold back a sob. Hearing everything but nothing at once, I felt like m head was going to explode so. After what could’ve been either a few minutes or an hour Peter burst in the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

“Where are you?!” he frantically looked through all the stalls before noticing my disheveled figure sitting in fetal position on the floor.

He tossed his bag and books on the floor and knelt down, placing a hand on my knee. I jolted up in surprise but relaxed a bit when I saw who it was. Up until then Peter usually got all nervous and didn’t know what he was doing, but this is when I first saw the side of him that would later become my rock. He only hesitated for a moment after seeing what a wreck I was; random hairs had been pulled out of my ponytail and my face was a mess of tears and redness.

“I want you to look at me,” he requested in the softest voice I’ve ever heard as he took my hands which were balled up into fists with my nails dug into my palms, “breathe with me okay?”

It’s like I was brought back down to Earth when I looked into his eyes and became conscious of what I must look like, which kicked it up to hyperventilation. “Slow down, just take a breath when I do,” he started to take deep breaths and I tried to follow. I started to relax, my grip loosened and my breaths only had a slight hiccup. When I became more stable he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up to my feet. As soon as he began to pull away though, my knees wobbled and I collapsed into him. He didn’t even miss a step, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and rubbing slow circles on my shoulder with his thumb while I had my face pressed to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled into his shirt.

He pulled away, holding me steady by my shoulders, “What was that?”

“I’m sorry, I ruined your shirt.”

“Don’t be-” he stopped and peered down, “does that hurt?”

“Does what hurt?” I followed his gaze down and saw my bloody palms with little crescent shaped gashes. “I didn’t even realize,” I started to choke up out of shame. His hands slid down my arms to cup around the backs of my hands.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he curled his grasp around my wrists, careful not to crush my hands and led me to the sinks.

I was still in a bit a daze, so I let him guide me around and stayed silent as he rinsed off my palms and wrapped them up. Apparently he keep bandages in his backpack but I didn’t question it. His hands lingered, keeping my hands nested in one of his as the other traced over my palm.

Reality suddenly came crashing down on me as I started ramble nervously, “My presentation! Oh no, Mr. Matthews is so not going to let me off the hook on this! I’m going to fail, I’ll be booted off the dean’s list, my-”

I was silenced by Peter gently grabbing my shoulders, “Everything is going to be okay, I’ll take care of it.”

Peter scooped up my books, ignoring my protests and explained the situation to the teacher. Mr. Matthews was surprisingly understanding, but didn’t want to shift the presentation schedule around. That’s when Peter stepped up and volunteered to switch presentation slots with me even though he had another day.

“No Peter, you can’t,” I insisted. I wasn’t going to let him go, he was probably just as scared of public speaking as I was.

“It’s only a day. Besides, I finished my speech last week,” he assured me. Before I could tell him to sit back down, he went up and gave his speech.

It was then that it dawned on me how special Peter was. He swallowed his own fear and anxious feelings to make sure that I didn’t completely break down. There was something about him; something heroic.

I’m totally exhausted and barely made it through the week. It already took a lot of energy to avoid Peter considering he’s in most of my classes and extracurricular activities. Of course the universe couldn’t let me get away in peace though.

“Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?” Liz surprises me as I’m closing my locker.

This is exactly what I need right now.

I definitely don’t hate Liz, in fact I do like her and we used to talk since we were in the same crowd, but like everyone save Macey, I haven’t spoken to her since sophomore year. “What’s up?”

She looks around to make sure the hallway is clear of any potential eavesdroppers, “Do you think Peter would want to take me to prom?” when I don’t answer she continues, “Sorry, it’s just that Macey said I should ask you since you’re best friends with him.”

“Uh, well-”

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, he’s probably taking you right? I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, I just think him and I would get along well, but if you two are-”

“No!” I cut her off, putting my hands up for emphasis, “No, were not dating or anything. In fact, I think he would love to go with you. He’s just too shy to ask.”

What the hell is wrong with me?!

“Oh, great!” her eyes brighten with excitement, “There he is right now, I’ll go talk to him. Thank you so much!”

I look back to see Peter walking towards us with an awkward wave. Naturally I bolt, but not before Liz pulls me into a quick and awkward hug.

“Peter! Just the man I was looking for,” she bounds over to him.

“Oh uh- Liz! H-hey!” I hear Peter fumble for his words in the distance. I don’t dare look back while I make my escape to the dance studio.

Despite the fact that I hadn’t slept at all last night, I know that I sure as hell won’t be able to sleep now. Much like Chandler suggested, I dance my troubles away. I’m a little sloppy and slow due to pure exhaustion, but it’s lifting a weight of my shoulders. I’m finishing off with stretches to make sure I won’t be sore later when I hear to studio doors open. Peter walks in with his hands shoved in his pockets and all I can do is stare at him as I continue stretching.

“Mind if I stretch with you?” I don’t say anything in response and go back to stretching. He sets his bag down next to mine and sits next to me, copying my movements. I’ll never understand how he became so flexible.  After a few minutes, Peter decides to break the uncomfortable silence, “Liz asked me if I was going to prom with anyone.”

“She asked you to prom?” I say nonchalantly.

“Well, sort of. She kind of asked me to ask her to prom,” he scratches his head, “like strongly suggested that if I asked her she would want to go with me.” When I don’t respond he continues, “So I guess I’m actually going to prom with Liz Allen. Unbelievable. We’re, um, also going on a date soon.”

My movements stutter only for a split second when he tells me this. It’s like I’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. I finally speak up, “A date, huh? Sounds like you’re pretty serious about her.”

“W-well, you know, were just going to- Hey wait! Where are you going?”

I can’t take it. I want Peter to be happy but right now I’m hurting and for me to be okay, and for us to go back to the way we were I can’t be around him right now. Once I’m over him everything will be okay.

Who am I kidding, I’m not getting over him.

He rushes over to where I’m pulling my sweater over my head and getting ready to go home. He picks up my bag before I can, but I’m so not in the mood for this right now, “Peter, give me my bag.”

“No.”

“Give. Me. My. Bag.” I try to sound threatening but my tone falters near the end.

“No,” he repeats softly, “not until I know you’re okay. Did you sleep at all last night?”

“I’m fine,” I reach out to snatch my bag but he moves his arm out of my reach. Damn his reflexes.

“You,” he knits his eyebrows in worry, “are not fine. Don’t even try to lie, I can see the dark circles under your eyes,” I notice the dark circles that rest under his own eyes and I know he didn’t sleep either, “and I need to know that we are okay.”

We stay there, eyes locked, breathing being the only audible sound. Until I can’t stand it anymore. I want my best friend back. I know he wouldn’t dare touch me in fear of me pushing him away again, so the call is mine to make. I crash into him so hard, practically leaping to wrap my arms around his neck. He stumbles back a bit in shock, then drops my bag to the ground to snake his arms around my waist, holding me up so that the tips of my toes barely touch the ground and buries his face in the crook of my neck.

“Gross, Peter. I’m all sweaty,” I mumble into his shoulder.

“Don’t care,” he tightens his arms, “are we still on for Friday night movie marathon at my place?”

“Duh,” I lightly shove him playfully, “don’t be silly.”

Today was Peter’s date with Liz. I spent the last week or so since Peter and I made up slowly distancing myself from him, meaning I haven’t been sleeping much. I blamed it on university applications. He is probably out with her right now, meanwhile I have an interview for a summer internship at Stark Industries. I’m hoping it will continue when I’m at NYU next year since the location is convenient being close to home and all. Peter probably forgot about it since he helped me with my application a while ago.

I dug through my old wardrobe and matched a navy summer dress with a light grey cardigan. I admire my the perfection of my neat bun in the mirror after tucking in a few flyaway strands. I wanted to look nice for the interview and enjoy the warm weather. I’m pretty sure the interview went really well, and I might end up working alongside Peter during the summer. I walk out of the building with a sense of confidence when I bump into someone.

“Peter?” he looks just as surprised to see me here.

“What are you-” an expression of realization crosses his face, “Oh right! How was the interview? I bet you did great! You look…” he looks me up and down.

“What? Is my hair messed up? Do I have something in my-”

“No! Not at all! You look,” I swear his cheeks get a little bit of a blush, “wow. I-I mean good- you look good.”

This in turn makes my cheeks turn bright pink. “Thanks Pete,” I giggle. I suddenly remember his date, “aren’t you supposed to be out with Liz right now?”

“Uh, yeah,” he runs a hand through his hair, “it was earlier, but um, it ended.”

“Oh, alright. You wanna hang out? Did Mr. Stark call you in for something important?”

“Yeah, but if you don’t mind waiting it shouldn’t be long,” he smiles.

With a smile and nod I walk over the cafe across the street. 

I’m just about finished my cup when Peter waves at me through the window. I can’t help but smile at how cute he looks in his two-toned short-sleeved button down and simple blue jeans. “We kind of match.”

Looks down at his outfit, then back to me, “Yeah we do,” he chuckles, slinging an arm around my shoulders.

“I know you’re my biggest fan and all, but you’ve got to stop copying me,” I laugh as I hand him the coffee I got him. He presses a hand to his chest in mock-hurt before taking the cup and thanking me. I hadn’t really noticed before how toned his arms had become since he usually wore sweaters or cardigans over his t-shirts.

“I forgot,” he slides his hand into his pocket as I loop my arm around his elbow, “Aunt May is out of town for the weekend so I have to go grocery shopping. It was last minute, so she didn’t have time to go.”

“Sure I’ll go with you. Maybe I should also supervise your cooking since it didn’t go so well last time,” I poke at him.

“It wasn’t that bad…”

All I do is look up at him with my eyebrows raised and an offended expression take over his face.

“The muffins didn’t turn out that bad,” he tries to reason.

“You’re lucky the fire department wasn’t called,” I smirk.

“Yeah, well,” he searches for a comeback while tossing his empty cup in a nearby trash bin. He can’t seem to find a reply so he settles on pinching my cheek with his free hand.

“Hey!” I can feel my cheeks turn red from the pinch. Possibly also from the contact.

“You,” he grins, “are adorable with a blush on those soft cheeks of yours.”

I stick my tongue out at him as his fingers release their grasp and he throws his head back, laughing in triumph. Are we flirting? Peter Parker flirting with me. We’re best friends; we tease each other all the time. I’m probably over thinking it because of my feelings so I push the thought to the back of my head.

We both laugh the rest of the way to the subway station and listen to music off my phone while we wait. We sit in the same position we were walking in; his hands in his pockets with my arms loosely looped around one of his, but my head rests on his shoulder and our legs are pressed together. I find myself staring off into space. I probably wouldn’t have noticed that the subway had arrived if it weren’t for Peter sliding his hand out of his pocket and taking my hand, tugging me along.

We take our seats still connected by our hands and earphones. I lean into him to resume the way we were sitting before, this time with our intertwined hands resting on his lap. He strokes up and down my thumb with his, the soothing gesture making my eyelids feel heavy. I could be imagining things, but I swear I felt him press a soft kiss to my hair line as I doze off.

I wake up to Peter gently squeezing my hand and softly repeating my name, “Y/N. We get off on the next stop.”

I lift my head off his shoulder and blush when I realize I had fallen asleep. I look up at Peter who tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear and turn to face an elderly woman with kind eyes beaming at me.

“This is my new friend, Ruth,” Peter gestures towards her.

I introduce myself to her and shake her hand before Peter and I stand up to exit the cart, having arrived at our stop. She bids us a lovely day on our way out.

“What was that all about?” I ask Peter as we walk through the automated doors of the local grocery store.

“Made a new friend,” he smiles, “she kept me company while you were being a sleepy head.”

“Sorry,” I chuckle, “haven’t been getting much of break from my old friend, insomnia.”

“So, where do we start?”

Face him with a big grin on my face, “Grab a cart.”

Grocery shopping with Peter is a blast. I’m surprised we didn’t get caught fooling around with the grocery cart, taking turns pushing each other and running through the aisles. His aunt left him some money and a shopping list for some food items with a bit of extra cash for some goodies of our choosing.

Once we had  calmed down a bit and actually started collecting the food, I see one of the girls I dance with is shopping with her mother. She smiles and motions for me over.

“Be right back,” I let go of Peter’s hand and make my way to go greet her.

After a quick exchange of hugs and after I’ve introduced myself to her mother, she immediately leans in closer to me and gushes, “Is that your boyfriend? You didn’t tell me you had such a cute guy in your life. You guys are so adorable!”

My face must have turned into the same color as the tomatoes her mother was picking out, “Oh, oh, Peter? He’s not my- We’re just-”

“The cutest thing ever?!” She hadn’t seen Peter yet since she was new to the group but all the other girls had talked about the pair of us, constantly teasing me. “And he’s coming over right now!”

My face somehow turns a few shades darker when I spin around to see Peter approaching with the cart. While I’m too flustered to properly process what’s going on, she sticks a hand out and introduces herself. They make small talk for a few minutes, Peter shoving his hands in and out his pockets and occasionally running a hand through his hair out of sheer awkwardness. Her mother calls her over a few aisles and she bids us goodbye, walking away giggling.

“I think we have everything,” I say, hoping my face has returned to a normal color. Peter and I stroll over to check out and walk over to his apartment.

Cooking with Peter turns into a huge mess since neither of us quite know what we’re doing. “We have two of the highest GPA’s in the area, I’m sure we can figure this out,” I try to reassure him as I nearly sliced my thumb off two seconds ago. I generally don’t spend much time in the kitchen other than eating, but I know how to bake pretty well. Which is why I decided to let Peter take care of the cooking while I bake cupcakes. Okay, well more like he laid out all the ingredients for me and would not let me near the knife again.

Peter is horrible at baking considering he nearly burned down the kitchen last time, but not a bad cook. Actually, the food he prepared is surprisingly decent.

“So your date? How was it?”

“Good,” he smiles and then quickly changes the subject, “How’s my cooking?”

“Not bad Parker,” I grin.

“You’re too kind,” he chuckles sarcastically.

Finishing that off and cleaning up, it’s time to ice the cupcakes. I’m not as great of a pastry chef as my little sister, but I still like to get artsy with the decorating. We decorate in a comfortable silence, quietly passing the tubes of different colored frosting back and forth. I finish off my fourth cupcake, add it to the plate of decorated pastries and realize that mine are the only ones there. I glance over to see Peter attempt to draw something that just ends up looking like a blob.

“Having some trouble there champ?”

“No,” his brow creases in frustration as he struggles to squeeze the icing out of the bag.

I chuckle, “You don’t need to squish the bag so hard,” I lean over and place my hands over his, “relax a little.” He hesitates for a moment before letting me loosen his grip and apply a light pressure to the bag, “See? Just go with the flow.”

I let go and watch him finish cupcake. It looks like a blob surrounded by smaller blobs. “What is that supposed to be?”

He looks at me incredulously, “It’s a heart.”

“And what are those?” I motion to the little blobs.

“They’re little hearts,” he scratches his head.

I laugh as he sets his cupcake next all my other ones with a pouty face. I grab my tube and dab some icing on his nose in an attempt to wipe the frown off his face. He looks at the pink dollop cross-eyed which only makes me laugh more. He wipes it off his nose with a finger and tries to bop it on mine. I push his hand and he ends up smearing it across my cheek instead.

“This means war, Parker,” I giggle while spattering icing of every color all over his face. He does nothing to stop me and ends up looking like a rainbow threw up on his face. “Ah yes, my greatest masterpiece,” I sigh, licking the icing off my fingers. I’m about to swab some off his cheek when he grabs my wrist and pulls me into a hug, squishing his face to my cheek. “Peter!” I yelp as try to wiggle out of his clutches.

“Oh good,” he pulls back to admire his work, “I didn’t get any on your dress.”

“Meh,” I shrug indifferently, “I have other clothes here anyways.”

“But I like your dress. You look really nice today,” I blush from the compliment which sends him into a nervous ramble, “ I remember you used to dress like that before and I know you still keep all those clothes at the back of your closet, how come you never wear any of it?” I look down remembering I never told him about any of this, “I-it’s just that I was wondering because- It’s not that you don’t always look nice- I think you always look great- I just always thought you hated wearing dresses or something-” he takes a deep breath, “Sorry I’m babbling-”

“It’s fine,” I look up to him, “I’ve ever told you about it.”

I lean back with an elbow on the counter and tell him my reasons for ditching my old friends and style. “I love wearing both my old style and whatever I wear now, but no one takes you seriously; I’m just another pretty face otherwise.” Peter stays quiet and lets me go on, “That’s why I always have my hair up and wear clothes that drown out my form, I’m tired of being cat-called in the streets or being groped at parties; I definitely don’t miss any of those,” I laugh a bit at the last part, averting my eyes in an effort to combat the awkwardness I felt in confessing all this. “I know it sounds ridiculous-”

“Not at all,” he interjects. He takes a long step towards me and I tilt my head up realizing that we stand less than a foot away from each other, “Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

“I didn’t think you’d understand the first time you asked about it,” I notice that he’s slowly inching closer, “I guess it just never came up again.” He’s leaning down, our noses are barely two inches apart. He probably doesn’t even notice. “We should probably finish decorating the cupcakes and clean this up, or finals will be the least of your worries,” I awkwardly laugh and busy myself with the cupcakes. He hesitantly goes back to decorating.

After his third cupcake, Peter gives up on icing. He watches me from across the counter with both his elbows on the counter top and his face in between his hands. “If you’re just going to watch me, maybe you should clean yourself up,” I giggle, the dried frosting on my face cracking. He laughs at this and disappears to the bathroom.

Peter comes back just as I’m adding the final touches on the last cupcake with a wash cloth in one hand. I barely notice that he’s wiping my cheek, being concentrated on the marble design I’m trying to achieve. I can’t help but let out a giggle as I place the last cupcake on the platter; seeing the obvious difference between my work and Peter’s. I offer him one the cupcakes I made and he devours it almost immediately, “This is the best cupcake I’ve ever had,” he gestures to me, “you need one too.”

I take a moment to observe the options and settle on the first cupcake Peter decorated. I flash him a cheeky grin as I show him my choice before eating it.

We clean up the mess we’ve made in the kitchen and settle down on the couch with the cupcakes among other sweets covering the coffee table and a movie playing on the television.

“About earlier,” Peter breaks the silence, “you said you had to hide your beauty for people to take you seriously-”

“I didn’t say I was beautiful,” I stop him, hoping I hadn’t come off as that vain.

“No, but,” he pauses for a moment, “you shouldn’t care what people think. You have one of the highest grade point averages in the school, you’re incredibly talented and you should be able to do all that and be confident regardless of your appearance.”

All I can do is stare at him. Say something. I can feel the heat rising up to my cheeks.

He scoots closer to me, “I noticed you dressed differently, but it didn’t even occur to me that you were trying to hide your beauty because-” he stops short to take a deep breath, “Because I think you are always beautiful.”

My face feels like it’s on fire. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” I look away and cover my cheeks with my hands.

“No,” his hand reaches up to gently tug elastic off my head, letting my hair cascade down in loose waves created by my bun. I let my hands drop from my face to my sides and study his face as he tucks a strand of loose hair behind my ear. “Your hair’s gotten so long,” he says quietly while sliding his finger all the way down the strand of hair as though to measure how long it is.

I am totally frozen. Shit.

He raises his hand back up to push more hair that has fallen over my face. His hand slowly comes to a halt, cupping the side of my face. He scans my features, “I’m not just saying that.”

I try to resist the urge but our faces are so close I let my gaze quickly diverge to his lips and then to my shaking hand. I’m so far gone, my heart is pounding in my chest and I try to steady my shaking hand by balling it up. Peter sees this and takes my hand in his free one. My hand relaxes almost instantly. My eyes barely have time to look back up at him before I feel him press his lips on mine. It’s quick, but gentle. He pulls back and releases his hold when he sees that my eyes are wide in shock.

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to-” he turns back to face the TV and curses himself out, “Shit! I’m such an idiot,” he mutters under his breath, burying his head in his hands.

There are so many feelings circulating within me, the most prominent one being joy and I can’t contain a giggle when I acknowledge the possibility that he might feel the same way I do. Hearing me, it’s his turn to widen his eyes and become totally confused. Feeling a rush of confidence, I reach out, grab the collar of his shirt and slowly pull him back up to brush my lips over his.

He starts to ask, “What are you-” I cut him off with a kiss. A long one.

It takes him a moment to react. He kisses me back and he puts his hands on either side of my face. Shakily at first, but they steady and become firm as he deepens the kiss. I pull back to catch my breath and rest my forehead against his. I peek up to see his eyes are still closed and a slow breath escapes his slightly parted lips. “Wow,” he sighs, opening his eyes. I let out a small laugh as I snake my arms around his neck.

He slides his warm hands slide down my neck where he pauses to push my hair off my shoulders, proceeding to smooth it down until he reaches the small of my back and pulls me closer. Just as he tilts his head and closes his eyes to kiss me again, I remember that he was just out with the most sought after girl in the school earlier today. “Peter,”  I draw my face away from his a few inches, “what about Liz?”

His eyes fly open, “Oh right,” I start to pull back but he holds me firmly in place, “I told her I couldn’t date her or go to prom with her.”

“Why? You’ve had your eye on her for so long,” I ask wandering why he’d ever want me over her.

“But you’re the one I care about,” his grip loosens to give the option to back away, “a lot.” His eyes lower as if he expects me to leave. Fat chance.

I jolt forward, crashing my lips into his. He moans out of surprise at first, then tightens his arms around me. I move my legs onto his lap so that we can somehow be even closer than before, our torsos fully pressed together. I let my fingers roam through his hair and deepen the kiss. Things get heated but remain mellow and soft at the same time.

Eventually, we need to take a breather. Peter leans back into the couch, pulling me with him by my waist. I lay my head on his shoulder and plant a quick kiss on the crook of his neck before nuzzling into it. He brings a hand up to stroke my hair as he softly presses his lips to my forehead.

“I really like your hair,” he whispers, “you should leave it down more often.”

“Maybe I’ll start wearing clothes that don’t always look like pajamas as well,” I murmur into his neck, “speaking of, I want to take this dress off.”

“Uh…” I look up and see Peter’s face is beet red.

“N-not like that!” I panic, “I meant pajamas! It’s pretty late,” I point that the clock indicating that it’s almost midnight. Wow. We had been kissing for a bit over an hour. I stand up with the shade of my cheeks matching his, “Mind out of the gutter Peter Parker!”

I’d be lying if I said that I am currently not the most flustered I’ve ever been in my life. I am in love with my best friend who is the person I trust the most and am closest to, but I don’t want to rush into things. I want to take it slow; at our own pace.

He laughs nervously as he stands up to take my hand and lead me to his room where he hands me one of his t-shirts and a pair of leggings I had forgotten here. I go to the bathroom to change while he changes in his bedroom. I make my way back to his room to leave my clothes with my purse on his desk. Assuming that he would take less time than I would to get changed, I end up walking in on him with his shirt stuck and his arms in the air.

“You’re supposed to unbutton the shirt genius,” I quip as I step closer to undo the rest of the buttons and pull his shirt off.

“I got lazy,” he laughs. I become immobile when my attention is brought to the fact that Peter is toned, shirtless and right in front of me; we’re talking only a few inches separating our bodies. I can’t help but let my eyes wander over every inch of his torso, memorizing how small shadows were cast in the small dips between muscles, a few thin outlines of healing scratches and scars that never would, every angle; every detail. Just like I had done with every feature of his face over time. He flushes noticing that I’m basically checking out his half naked body, but just stands still other than lightly shivering under my slightly cold fingers that brush over some fading bruises on his abdomen.

“What the hell did you do?” I say quietly, “Who did this to you?"He puts his hand over mine and guides it up to his lips to press a kiss to my palm before swiftly throwing a t-shirt on. I approach him once again, lifting his shirt and shamelessly examining the brown and purple marks that stain his pale skin, "I’m serious, what is this?”

He sighs, recalling our last big fight, “Please, today was perfect,” he cups a hand around my jaw, looping his index behind my ear, “I don’t want us to fight; especially not now,” he plants a kiss on my forehead, “I promise I will tell you really soon, just not now. Please trust me.”

I find myself lost in his warm eyes. Peter must have a good reason for not telling me, so I decide to hold him to his promise and let it go for the time being. My arms wrap around his neck and press the side of my head to his chest. His heart beats fast but steady. His hand wind around my waist to pull me into a tight hug as he buries his face into my neck.

I figure that if he was brave enough to kiss me first I should have enough courage to tell him how I feel “Peter,” I begin.

“Hmmm?” he hums in my ear.

“I-I,” just say it, “I love you.”

“What?” he pulls back and gazes at me with an unreadable expression. I have no idea whether he feels the same or if I just freaked him out.

“I-I said,” I stutter, “I’m in love with you.”

He leans closer, “What?” he whispers with a shit-eating grin plastered on.

“Not saying it again, you heard me that time,” I frown.

He lifts me off my feet and kisses me passionately. He literally swept me off of my feet. I’m breathless when he sets me down and says, “I love you too.”

It’s like a tsunami of both joy and confusion hits me in that moment. How long has he felt this way; I thought he liked Liz since freshman year. “I thought you liked Liz; you’ve been ogling her for the longest time.”

“W-well I did,” he rubs the back of his neck, “but a long time ago, haven’t since. ”

“I caught you staring at her just the other day at lunch,” I deadpan.

“I wasn’t looking at her…” My jaw drops.

“You were- Wait- Me?” I point at myself in disbelief. Had I really missed all the signs? I knew we were really affectionate, but the more I reflect, the more I realized how blurred the lines of our friendship have been.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “but I couldn’t very well tell you that, now could I?”

“Why didn’t you?” I pout.

“I had no way of knowing how you felt about me, and I value our friendship too much to risk it. Not to mention that you are- well you. ”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” I raise an eyebrow, “Am I that scary?”

“Sometimes,” he grins, “I’m Peter Parker; the geek and you are- well you’re considered to be way out of my league. It took a major confidence boost to kiss you back there.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“So am I.”

I push myself onto my tip toes and smile into the kiss I press to his lips.

“What does that make us now?” I ask him as we snuggle into each other on the couch back in front of the television.

“Best friends? I guess- I don’t know,” he starts to panic a bit.

“Let’s just go with the flow,” I smile, softly repeating my words from earlier and he instantly relaxes.

“Go with the flow,” he repeats in a whisper as his lips gently kiss my temple.

#peter parker x reader #spider-man: homecoming #spider-man #peter parker #peter parker imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #potatowrites #tom holland imagine #spider-man x reader #peter parker x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #spider-man imagine #cringe #like real bad #just a pretty face #my writing

[en-hypen]

Who do you ship your mutuals with and why?

All of my mutuals got this at the same time *-* I’m sorry if these r really random but ily & I hope u enjoy these ships frens!! 

@laji-101 starting off with the tiniest bb, I think Kris would go really well w astro’s sanha :)))))) Have u ever seen this ddoca bc LMAO SHE WOULD FIT SO WELL WITH THEM kris is v smol but v loud (types in caps 24/7) and I think their energetic and fun personalities would go well together!!! Also the height difference is so real it would be so adorable asdfghjkl 

@jihoonslattee my actual twin i love chiii so much ❤️ and u kno who else i love a lot???? seventeen’s joshua (he is actually my first bias ever! THIS IS HOW MUCH ILY CHIII ❤️) Both of them are really sweet and adorable AH it would be the softest pair omf. Also I bet the two of them would watch anime together and that’s literally goals :))) 

@princess-megz I’m always regretful that I don’t check the chat as often as I want to :( but everytime I do, Meg is always there and she always makes me smile :))) Her personality is so kind (& ridiculously spontaneous i love it) so I ship meg with day6′s jae LMAO. Jae is the oldest but you would never know bc he is literally so ridiculous but entertaining? The two would have lots of fun 2gether and I 100% bet he would sing for her a lot omf. also i’ve never seen meg in glasses but jae would let her try his on and!!!! wow cute matching couple!!!!!

@cuddlyjihoonie my school started to majorly pick up so I haven’t been able to talk to Sophia in a heck long time :( (i miss u do u even remember me D:) Sophia is a boy group QUEEN there are so many people to ship u with omg. After some thinking I ship her with seventeen’s s.coups! She’s always on top of everything (ur blog is a1 its so updated) just like our local leader. They are both good at taking charge & doing their responsibilities but still making time for their friends!! ❤️

@seungkwanslowqualityenglish justine!!!! I ship her with pentagon’s hui! Justine is the oldest and has to deal with all of youngins, similar to hui and pentagon. She is also v smart and updated w everything just like our local leader. Justine is also very supportive of all of us and def would be the same w hui! Jammin to Energetic and NEVER is a daily activity ah god bless what a power pair

@simplicitwannaone Laura i miss u where did u go :( if u are reading this I ship u with exo’s Lay (bc i miSS BOTH OF YOU WHERE DID U GUYS GO) Yix is literally the softest person on the planet and his confused, victim personality would go well with ur kabedon ❤️ I feel like he would be ur s/o n also your best friend? The best hugs & would give u so much love!!! 

@jonghyunandsamueldeservedbetter​ JENNY I LOVE YOU and I’ve been reading the chat!! fun fact you were my first mutual ever so of course I had to ship u with someone with equal importance. You are sososo kind n open-minded n outgoing so I have to ship you with wanna one’s Daniel. He is the definition of boyfriend material and yo your personalities together would be explosive can u even imagine 

@thegentlemanukulele​ Natty is the rock of the group chat I really want u to know how much I appreciate u ❤️ This is REAL random but I ship Natty with shinee’s onew! First, they are hella similiar. Intelligent, gr8 leadership qualities, vocal legends, & v i s u a l s. I’m looking forward to their couple collabs bc holy fuck Natty is so good at singing (I shed a few tears at her NEVER english ver) Natty has an awesome personality and I just think the ship would be so powerful we would all die amen 

@ladynightmareii​ when i think about it, i’ve never actually spoken to Naz before? Which is crazy bc we’ve had the group chat for so long?? But I know enough about Naz where I can say she would go well with yuehua’s euiwoong! Although Naz is the youngest, she is always ready to call us out n take charge ❤️. Similarly to euiwoong (who is the leader although he is a smol bby) Naz has to deal with us crazy older people. The two would work well together and always have each other when the other needs to rant about something ❤️

@dae-vil​ ❤️ I don’t get to talk to Dae often but she is real cool and always happenin. I ship her w got7′s yugyeom! Both of them are cute on the outside but on the inside everything gets WILD. Yugyeom is a little reckless and loves to poke at his members and I can see Dae joining in on some fun. Also although Dae is v v v tol, Yugyeom is a sky scraper so the hugs and the height difference are still cute 

@daehwi-protection-squad​ I! love! dawn! so! much! She is the ult super daehwi stan, but if i had to choose another person I would say she would go well with brave’s samuel!! ❤️ Dawn is sososoosososoososos nice and hardworking (ur blog is so nice n updated) so I believe she would go well with Samuel. She also seems like a fun person to be around ❤️ and the atmosphere of their relationship would be so lit god bless. 

@imagineproduce101​ EVERYONE CARINA IS SO BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT A REAL V I S U A L. and you know who else is straight handsome that would kill it with rina? nu’est’s ren ❤️ Both of them would be beautiful 2gether!! and i feel like carina’s enjoyable personality will compliment ren’s super extra personality lmao. I bet carina and ren would go on fun dates a lot and overall always have a really good time together!

@kakaotaeks​ I MISS YOU ELENA ❤️ I ship you with the boyz’s haknyeon!!! He is such a sweet boi and would try his best to treat you right. Whenever haknyeon is tired of being w a ton of boys I can imagine he’d come to you for love n advice!! Also he is still in school too! yall will be the cutest couple in school everyone will be jelly amen 

@heochannies​ meike 😍 why is everyone a v i s u a l omfg. I ship meike with nct’s johnny! Meike is older than most of us so she has some experience *-* I think meike n johnny would go out a lot (partying n bangers u feel) and go on lots of adventures together. Also johnny really likes traveling/ foreigners so I bet he would love 2 travel to visit meike ❤️

@peachiejihoonie i love u i love u i love u ❤️ i ship peachi with monsta x’s kihyun! Peachi is so adorable n kihyun is really cute and the two of them would just be the softest!!! Peachi also sends snaps from her work sometimes and I bet if kih worked with her, he would sing songs and try his best so work is fun for both of them :) if he didn’t work with her, i bet kih would come to visit a lot just so he can hang out ❤️

[chickenfetus]

HI!!! i like to request ALL of the flowery asks! btw i LOVE ur blog and maybe u????? idk 🌸🌸 (jk i love u alot)

who is this????????/ under cut bc i get rambly 

azalea: what’s one word that describes you?

lame lmao

baby’s breath: what did you want to be when you were a kid?

honestly? my answer’s like yours jen because i wanted to be an astronaut but also a vet and then a few years later i wanted to be something else of a whole different profession but now i know what reality is like and i have no clue what i wanna be whoops

begonia: are you a messy or clean person?

i hate seeing my desk/workspace be messy but i cant bring myself to clean it up either???? bc im lazy 

bleeding heart: has your heart ever been broken?

hMMMMm mmm idk i dont think so

bluebell: do you drink tea or coffee?

i drink tea more than i drink coffee but i drink water more than i drink tea i drink water like. everyday lmao obviously but i drink a lot of water its my brand now

buttercup: what are five things that make you apologetically happy?

what does this mean why is the word apologetically there i cancelled it lmao no negativity in this house

my favorite people (u know who + my friends)

when people answer my anon asks and . they respond with a long reply/seem really happy responding thats my fav fam

this is getting real anime but when i get an UR/4* from scouting 

finding an anime/manga/book that perfectly suits my taste

im very tempted to just say water bc idk what else 2 say 

calla: what’s your favorite book?

ive only read 3 whole books this year but i recommend all of them 

challenger deep - neal shusterman (i could go on about this book for days honestly its so interesting and even though its told by the same person it has two kind of perspectives because there are two settings, that didnt make sense but this book is my new favorite)

see you in the cosmos - jack cheng (i love this one too because its just so warm? made me a little emo but its really good and i love how unique it is, text type wise)

a monster calls - patrick ness (this was something i heard from my school first so i didnt know if i really wanted to get it but its actually pretty good?) 

carnation: what are your five most played songs?

i cant really check using the music app bc i added the songs at different timings so itll be inaccurate ill just do most played song from each band/group

again - astro (this is their best song dont @ me)

letting go - day6

all in/stuck - monsta x

death by a strawberry - dance gavin dance

check yes juliet - we the kings

chrysanthemum: what are you afraid of?

i may not b a child but im still afraid of the dark bc my imagination is wild im also afraid of bugs and disappointing others nice oh shit im also afraid of asking for things

daffodil: what’s your astrological sign?

capricorn 

dahlia: what’s your favorite band?

this question was made for me its day6

daisy: which ‘friends’ character do you relate to the most?

ive never watched friends 

dandelion: are you an extrovert or an introvert?

in between!!!!!

geranium: how has your day been?

its been good!!! i managed to ask my mum 2 take me to hair place so i can get it cut finally and im working on updating my tumblr pages and doing all my tags

hydrangea: what’s your dream job?

pass

iris: who’s your celebrity crush?

pass

lavender: what’s one of the best gifts you’ve ever received?

oH FUCK FAM my friends got me a kermit toy for my birthday i lvoe it 2 dEATH

lily: what’s something you’ve achieved that you’re really proud of?

i got first in my class once wow amazing that was 2 years ago i wish i was as good as the me from 2 years ago 

marigold: what would you like to do more of, but don’t ?

well i want 2 b more hardworking but guess thats too late

morning glory: are you an early bird or a night owl?

now that school is over and i have no reason to wake up early ive become neither which is saddening because... i like waking up at 7am on weekends and doing things early but now i wake up at like 9-10am and i still sleep at 11pm  

orchid: what’s the last movie you saw?

i really dont remember?? maybe uh guardians of the galaxy?? i dont remember who i watched it with and when but it was good actually i remember who i watched it with nvm 

pansy: do you believe in love at first sight?

i dont really believe in romantic love anymore 

peony: what does your url mean?

chicken fetus means an egg

periwinkle: what are you thankful for?

god get ready folks im gonna go on my biggest boxy rant ever...

so boxy is my friend who ive been mutuals for over a year and our first common interest is love live and haikyuu so we had that to talk about but im bad at keeping conversations with ppl on tumblr so that ended quickly but earlier this year or late last year i made a twitter and told people on here about it and she followed me and i didnt really mind/pay attention to the stuff she posted/rted uNTIL. until that fateful day... june 25th... at like 8pm? she rted a pic of mister brian kang with dumb minion glasses on and ok maybe i do believe in love at first sight? bc wow!!!!! whos this dumbass with minion glasses and the fluffiest hair ??? so i slide into boxy’s dm.. expecting an explanation and she gives me a good one saying how brians from a band (i would later find out), day6 and im not a fan of kpop, never have been.. ive only watched like some kpop mvs bc i love my friends so i expect myself to listen to them and get over them as soon as im done. boxy my friend, bless HER she sends me all of their mvs from congratulations to i smile and i watch the first one - i smile and me? i start smiling and i can feel myself getting excited because holy fuck theyre a band! they play fucking instruments??? and at this point im already whipped then i move onto how can i say and that shit blew my mind let me tell you.. so because of boxy... i get to where i am now, proudly stanning 3 groups and if it were not for her i wouldve never gotten into mx as well... boxy is just?? really important to me her impact is just that great?? so im super!! sUPER thankful for her and i dont think she’ll ever see this but boxy i love u thank u so much!! boxy gave me more than one reason to live, and not just exist?? without her i wouldve never been able to make so many (like 2 but hEY) new friends and this probably got so long idk im just really thankful for boxy thank u lord for blessing us with boxy (@/youngkwhom on twitter) (kittenma on tumblr) i hope shes happy forever and i also hope she has good days for the rest of her life?? boxy deserves it i lvoe u boxy

petunia: where were you ten years ago?

10 years ago i was like 6 probably watching pokemon or some shit and getting glasses

poinsettia: where would you like to be in ten years?

dead thanks

poppy: what’s your online persona?

i dont understad the meaning of persona but an egg?????? 

rose: who’s the last person you spent quality time with?

all my classmates in an exam hall for 2 hours, quality time indeed

snapdragon: what are your goals?

pass

sunflower: what’s your favorite quote?

i think i had one before but i forgot so maybe it wasnt my favourite lol idk i dont have one now

tulip: if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

for all of my favourite people to be happy forever

a good future

i want astro, mx and day6 to get an award for all of their hardwork thanks

violet: what’s one thing most people don’t know about you?

i was gonna say smth negative but lets not hm m m i? ?? ill put smth irl ppl probably dont know either uh hhh i guess?? that i eat a lot?? but also get full really quickly but then really hungry right after that idk thanks digestion

zinnia: do you believe in magic?

no ????/ idk is there any evidence that magic exists 

JEN !!! thank u so much for asking even tho u probably asked just to get back at me but this was still fun ask memes will never get boring bro,. i love u and i hope u have a good evening also i love ur blog too moon anon probably already told u

to anyone who actually bothered reading through this mess - thank you and i hope you have a good day/night too!!

#vampbin #asks

[yeoldontknow]

Hiiiiii! Thank you for blessing my day with Currents. I am, as always IN LOVE 😍 For the ask doodly-do: 13 + 14 + 18 + 24 (maybe top three? since you have so many amazing ones! 😄)

hello sweetie! omg thank you so much for reading currents

13. hardest character to writetbh i struggled a lot with suho in EA but not because he was difficult to understand, just that id never written a power like that before? so getting into his psyche and then structuring his story around temporality like that…idk if that even makes sense. its just such a visual power that i had to make sure it was handled delicately. so yeah suho in EA was the most ive ever struggled with a character

14. easiest character to writehonestly any of the characters in hero come so easily to me. that kind of dark/graphically violent world comes easily to me because the feelings that come with it are the easiest to feel? like if you ask someone about their lowest point, theyd be able to answer pretty quickly. but if you ask them about their happiest, it takes A Lot of thought. so i always feel like the feelings that come from the low points: anger, bargaining, depression, fear, etc i have more experience processing those and helping a character move through them rather than expressing joy if that makes sense

18. favourite pairing to writelmao well long ago i wrote m/m fic with specific ship pairings in various fandoms, but now that i am here i find reader x chanyeol comes easiest (oh wow kat i wonder fuckin why lmaooo) BUT its not just because he is my UB? its mostly because being in yeols head is honestly the most fun for me and i can apply him in a lot of the situations i like to write. hoseok x reader is also a close second; altho writing jongdae x reader for the DYS series is also snatching me

24. favourite scene youve ever writtenmaaaaannn i get asked this a lot and i always go back to a story i wrote in a different fandom so im glad you asked for top 3. ill do the one i usually quote plus 2 more

from Time Runner:

Three weeks was all it took before I killed a man. I told myself it was survival, that he would have killed me, that this was my life now. This was a war between God and men, and if men could command time and temporality, then there was no longer a difference - we were all equal here. His life left his eyes before my dagger left his side, blood hot and thick on my fingers as if trying to burn through my bones. I held him close while he struggled, spasming violently until he stilled, collapsing against my chest like a spent lover. I held him while I cried through grit teeth, understanding that it was easy, easier than I thought it would be, and this would not be the first time I held mortality in my hands. I walked along a river bank until sundown, not wanting to clean my hands, letting the stain on my skin become a tattoo; they were slick for days. 

from Shortwave - Part of Boogie Nights and Colombian Whites:

‘You know, I don’t like people.’ Baekhyun releases small grunts through his words, the effort of slicing through cartilage filtering through his speech. ‘People are cunts. Worthless pieces of come and pussy, self-servicing - fuck, I don’t even like Suho that much.’

‘It’s mutual.’ Junmyeon’s voice cuts through Baekhyun’s little sermon, sharp, pointed, and bored.

‘So what made you think that I liked you? That we were friends? Was it the money I was fronting you to push this shit? Did you think it was a fucking loan?’

Exhaling into the breeze, Yixing chuckles at Baekhyun’s nonchalant tone, almost cordial in its cadence. Any other man, he imagines, would use this opportunity to impose dominance or threat in their word choice. Treading carefully over their words, they would select the ones they find most sinister and brutal in the effort of exerting authority. For as long as Yixing has known him, Baekhyun has never felt the need to do this. He has never done this because he doesn’t need to, choosing instead to let his actions showcase his will. And his will, always and without fail, is lethal.

‘Answer me, I’m genuinely curious. I’d like to know.’

from Chapter 10 of Hero:

‘I’m sorry, are we suddenly forgetting that she’s a weapon?’ come Jongdae’s biting words as he slaps the table with his flat palm. As if expecting this reaction, seemingly no one flinches at the sound, though their attention is now trained on him. ‘True, our honor and respect will be given to her, but are we forgetting it will be done likely without our consent? We have no choice to honor her because she is death itself. We cannot forget she is an omen. She will be the one dictating who lives and who dies, and her inclusion instigates our actions - it’s already happened, don’t you see?’

As he speaks, the words gain speed and volume until he’s nearly shouting. He’s being burned alive just by the idea of a Reader, and Chanyeol reaches out a hand to rest on his shoulder.

‘Calm yourself, brother,’ he says, gently though he knows it will have little result. ‘We are still far from our fate.’

‘I’ll not apologize for being the only one considering how lethal she is.’

As Jongdae speaks, his voice becomes two fold as it harmonizes with the low baritone of a war lord. Keeping his power regulated means the release of other pieces of fury, darker, more bloodthirsty pieces that allow Chen to slip through and paint his vocal cords red. His hand that rests on the table suddenly tenses, fingers and nails dragging along the metal in silence as Jongdae struggles to remain whole.

‘No one is saying they aren’t,’ soothes Yixing. ‘We simply -’

‘If she wills us to die I pray that mine is first blood spilled,’ Chen roars, […]

thanks boo!!

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#writer asks #maannnn #when i stop quoting time runner #yall will know ive peaked #yehet-me-up