#and honestly despite the Horrors that period of my life was fun while it lasted

[mugsy]

POP spoilers (?)

I think it’s just a lil bit funny looking back on Epithet Alternate (the goofy little EE roleplay group I did with some friends back in early 2020) cuz we accidentally predicted a couple of things that happened in EE/some future arcs for EE

Our first event was literally a jail break with Indus, Mera, and Ramsey (who didn’t even wanna come with). I don’t think any of us even knew there was gonna be an Actual prison break arc back then— we were still in the Really Early era of EE’s fandom. I think the only difference was that Giovanni was also there bc he accidentally revealed who he was online BANDNSNDNNF

ALSO ACCIDENTALLY PREDICTED GIO TAKING MOLLY AWAY FROM HER UNSTABLE HOME LIFE. THAT’S A BIGGER ONE. Only difference is that instead of hiding out at Crusher’s place, Ramsey helped him get his hands on an apartment. STILL THO. CRAZY AND INSANE.

Maybe it’s just the ability to recognize what would logically make sense as a next step for these characters? Idk! I think it’s a little funny in retrospect

#it took 4 years but I’m finally able to look back on EA fondly #after avoiding it like the plague for god knows how long #who knew that stupid system discourse being stirred up over a message from MONTHS AGO #that turned into a huge falling out in a discord server I modded in #along with a grown ass adult in their 20s guilt tripping 16 year old Mugsy #over a fucking fangan rp cuz they didn’t want their character to die #even tho they knew it was one of the things that comes w/ a fangan rp #AND ALSO IT WAS FOR A TRIAL THAT WAS WAY INTO THE FUTURE AND ALSO RLLY IMPORTANT #would ruin my ability to look at that period of my life in a positive way? #this is sarcasm btw I know this was all traumatizing and 2020 was a fucked up year for me #I think it’s funny to look back on it and laugh now tho #I’m 20 now I cannot FATHOM ever guilt tripping a 16 year old over a fangan rp #and honestly despite the Horrors that period of my life was fun while it lasted #I wish I didn’t delete my old blogs and I wish the old server was still up #I’d like to read back on the bullshit shenanigans we got up to #oops I’m rambling in my own tags #ah well who cares it’s my post and my tags I can do what I want

[oc-challenges]

WELCOME TO THE OC HALLOWEEN CHALLENGE!

Calling all the monsters, it's time for the OC 2023 Halloween Challenge! This challenge has been hauntin' you for five years, and we're wantin' you to participate!

If you're new here, here's what you need to know: This is an event that takes place over the 31 days of October and presents oc creators with Halloween-themed challenges to get the creative juices dancing. It is open to creations for both fanfiction and original ocs, and if you want to participate you don't have to every one or even in order. It is brought to you by @purpleyearning / @aliverse, @elmunson, and includes suggestions by members of our discord! (special thanks to @endless-hoppington for helping with some descs)

Rules

DO NOT copy others edits.

If you are doing crossovers, PLEASE make sure that the creator of the other oc is okay with crossovers.

If you want your post to be reblogged onto this blog, it must contain the hashtag ohc2023.

Feel free to ask questions, I promise I’m more treat than trick.

Everything is up to the creators interpretation, although I have tried to include some examples for help!

Have fun!

RANDOM/THEMELESS (1st–5th) Some of the challenges that don't coincide with each other.

Day One: Life In Plastic

It's fantastic! Is your OC more of a Barbie or a Bratz? Maybe they go to Monster High, or they're an American Girl Doll with an inspiring story? Perhaps you want to make a Funko version of your OC? To put it simply, this day is about dolls as an ode to the best movie of 2023; Barbie.

Day Two: Lights, Camera, Action!

For day two, we're combining oc as canon, oc as celebrity, and oc's social media into one day where you get to choose which of those challenges you would like to do... maybe even all of them!

Day Three: Born In The Wrong Century

Movies depend on a lot of things, but time and place helps create the ominous feel for it. Like Crimson Peak that belongs to the revival gothic period of 1880s or Jason Voorhees waking up on a spaceship in the year of 2455, give your character(s) a new decade to explore and even monsters to face.

Day Four: Twisted

From reality episodes where two people experience switching roles with one another to an alternative reality where their roles are different from their home's universe, make your character experience life through a whole new perspective by making your hero the villain or your villain the hero.

Day Five: Vampires, Werewolves, and Witches... Oh My!

From Godzilla to Dracula to The Mummy, the monster-verse is rich with lore. Today we focus on those monsters that never go out of style, after all they’re called classics for a reason. Is your oc Frankenstein or his monster?

OH, YOU WANNA PLAY PSYCHO KILLER? CAN I BE THE HELPLESS VICTIM? (6th–12th) Due to its popularity last year, we're bringing back the horror character tropes week.

Day Six: The Harmless Antagonist

Ah, a classic in more than just horror; the mean gorgeous holier-than-thou character; more specifics of this are often The Jock, The Cheerleader, The “Slut”, The Bitch, The Rich Kid, etc. While they may annoy the main character or make their everyday life difficult with academic rivalry or teasing, they’re really nothing compared to the new enemy; the thing or person killing everyone. Which one of your ocs is getting brutally knocked down a peg… or the stairs?

Day Seven: The Comedic Relief

Honestly, they make even the scariest movies bearable. They're almost never the main character but almost always the most liked. They say laughter is medicine for the soul, so which of your ocs soothes the characters and the situation with a joke made at the worst of times?

Day Eight: The Denier/Non-Believer/Skeptic

It doesn’t matter the subgenre, there’s always one. They don’t believe a killers out to get them or their friends despite the fast growing pile of bodies, they claim there’s a natural explanation for the supernatural event terrorizing everyone, they just refuse to get with the program. This often combines with the cop or older-than-everyone-else character. Which one of your ocs will get killed by their stubborness before their loyalty?

Day Nine: The Harbinger

We hear about omens of death in every kind of mythology. Irish folklore warns you of hearing the wailing woman and German myth tells you to never find your doppelganger. Even Western Society in America will drift from their path if they see a black cat on the way. So which of your ocs stands outside of the haunted house and tells the redheaded twins “you’re going to die in there”?

Day Ten: The Accomplice

You never saw it coming, but you should’ve. There’s not just one killer you have to worry about, there’s two. This is the person whose been helping the killer since the very beginning, pretending to be your friend the entire time until the plot reached its rising action. You’re heart broken and the very ground shakes under your feet, the good person you once thought you knew is gone… or worse, had never truly existed. Which of your ocs is not only willing to help a friend hide the body, but kill it too?

Day Eleven: The Killer

They’re haunted and bloodthirsty, compelling in a dangerous way. Everyone has a monster within but due to some tragic backstory of abuse, hate, or ridicule, these people – or things– let the monster win. Whether they done a mask or turn your dreams into sentient nightmares, they’re the main reason why anybody shows up to movie night. Which one of your ocs looks into the reflection of the knife in their hand, and pictures themselves chopping up human bodies instead of vegetables?

Day Twelve: The Final Girl

It’s all come down to this, the last stand. There’s two people left, or at least two important people left; the killer and the final girl. She’s fought tooth and nail, and grief has made way for rage. At first she was just another potential victim, now she’s in the killers way and she won’t go down easy. In the beginning she just wanted to survive, but like Laurie Strode now she wants revenge. Which oc becomes the monsters monster?

WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME We're exploring classic horror locations. Throw your ocs into a horror story that take place in these locations, or make up your own story.

Day Thirteen: Have Killer Fun At Summer Camp! (Location: Summer Camp)

It's Friday The Thirteenth... literally. For today, the location is a summer camp like the one Jason Voorhees terrorizes. Counselor, killer, or camper? Whatever role your oc plays, they certainly didn't read this in the brochure.

Day Fourteen: Vacation Nightmares (Location: Hotel/Island/AirBnB, etc.)

An island that magically speeds up your aging, a hotel with corridors that lead to nowhere, a psychotic airbnb host; Today is about horror in locations that are supposed to be a break from the horror of everyday life, but instead introduces you to whole new horrors.

Day Fifteen: Home Is Where The Haunt Is (Location: House or Apartment)

A home can be a place to make memories and some memories leave a scar. Focus on your characters when a place they call home is threatened.

Day Sixteen: She Doesn't Like It In The Barn (Location: Farm/Ranch)

Samara Morgan was forced to stay in the barn's hayloft to keep her burning images out of her adoptive parents minds. Framer Graham Hess had to defend his home and family from aliens that threatened to kill his son. Pearl craved to be a movie star and experienced a psychotic break where she killed those who denied her her dream. What deadly passages does the farm bestow to your characters?

Day Seventeen: Death is a Mystery and Burial is a Secret (Location: Cemetery or Tomb)

Cemeteries and tombs are the places we put our loved ones to rest, but in horror movies we find that final resting places are not so restful after all. Whether it’s ghosts, zombies, psychotic gravekeepers, or grave robbers ensuring no witnesses; how do your ocs go from mourning to trying to survive until morning?

Day Eighteen: What's The Opposite Of Miracles? (Location: Places of Worship)

Places of worship are supposed to be places of good, where people go for guidance and safety, places full of good beings and devoid of sin. But what if the bad beings sneak in or the sinless place is just a hiding place for those full of sin?

Day Nineteen: This Won't Hurt A Bit (Location: Hospital and/or Asylum)

In season two of American Horror Story, we were welcomed to Briarcliff, an asylum that became ‘home’ to the misunderstood and the criminally insane. Much like other hospitals of the past, many attempts of healing were there to disguise the evil hiding in plain sight. How does your character deal when the place that was supposed to heal them becomes the place that harms them?

Day Twenty: The Trees Have Eyes (Location: The Woods/Forest)

Shadows of the trees cast illusions, the cracking of sticks cause hairs on the back of your neck stand. The wind howls which sounds of a voice, and the birds no longer sing. The woods are creepy, desolate, and you find yourself lost in the sea of their trunks. What happens when your ocs are stuck in the woods?

RANDOM OUTLIER

Day Twenty-One: I Want To Play A Game

Some of the most recent hits in horror history have been not movies, books, or shows, but video games. From Dead By Daylight to Until Dawn, horror fans have been able to experience immersion at a whole new level by trying to make all the right choices as a character. Now, it's time to put your oc into a horror game AU. Will they live, or will they die? Only their stats and choices will tell.

STRANGER THINGS HAVE HAPPENED (22nd–27th) Character tropes are fun and all, but for the next six days we're focusing on genre tropes.

Day Twenty-Two: Solitude Causes More Wounds Than It Was Meant To Heal (Trope: Isolation)

Fear is increased when one is alone by themselves, or cut off from civilization like an reclusive island. Focus on your characters in the horror of isolation; are they forced to recognize who they truly are on the inside? Do they practice the law of nature or nurture? Do they keep their morals or own laws?

Day Twenty-Three: The Apocalypse Is The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me (Trope: Apocalyptic)

Just as everything must begin, it also must end. This, unfortunately, includes humanity. What will happen when the world as your oc knows it ends, when that world goes from millions of people to tens or perhaps even one? Will they be forced to adapt, doomed to die, or perhaps even thrive?

Day Twenty-Four: You've Killed Me Before (Trope: Time Loop)

The best thing about the sun setting is that it will come up again in the morning, and a new day will begin. But what if the sun comes up and an old day begins? Whether your oc must solve their own murder, solve somebody else’s murder, or face difficult truths about those around them, it’s time to put them into a time loop.

Day Twenty-Five: Better You Die Than I (Trope: Doppleganger)

In real life, seeing your “doppleganger” is said to be an omen of misfortune or good luck. In horror movies, dopplegangers usually take a more direct approach in ruining the lives of their lookalike. Whether they’re an omen of bad things to come or trying to steal ones life, give your oc a doppleganger and explore the horrors of a stranger that shares your face.

Day Twenty-Six: No Wonder Everyone Keeps Invading You (Trope: Extraterrestrial)

Whether your oc was a believer before or not, life from another planet has arrived to Earth on this day. These so-called aliens come in all shapes, sizes, and colors; They can even come in a human disguise, as a deadly plant, as a machine, or even as little green men. No matter where they came from or what they look like, humanity is not ready for them. Whether we try to hurt them or they try to hurt us, how does your oc deal with extraterrestrial life on Earth and the problems this arrival presents?

Day Twenty-Seven: All Politics Is A Personality Cult Now (Trope: Cult)

What simply starts as a simple dinner meal, a visit to a secluded area where people celebrate, or deciding to reunite with the estranged side of your family, can easily be your steps toward a cult. Have your characters fight to stay alive against those who have welcomed them with sinister intent.

COSTUMES TELL A STORY

Day Twenty-Eight: Let's Be Weird Together

We all know of an iconic squad that so many people are just dying to be a part of. Well, it’s your ocs and their friends chance! Day 28 is group costumes!

Day Twenty-Nine: That Could Be Us

Love isn’t in the air but maybe it’s in the fabric of costumes! It’s time for couples costumes!

Day Thirty: I Can Be Anybody I Wanna Be

If your oc could be anybody, who would they wanna be? Well, for one night only, they can be! It's time for your oc to dress up!

TRICK OR TREAT!

Day Thirty-One: I'm Just Here For The Boos

Halloween is a time for tricks and treats, for ghost to walk among the living and us to disguise ourselves. But it can be killer, and the transference of evil can be achieved. Give your shape to another, gift them and you shall receive in turn. Ocpotluck awaits.

#origin post #ocappreciation #allaboutocs #h: 2023 #ohc2023 #halloween challenge #tw flashing lights #flashing lights tw #admin: ali

[transformers-fan-continuities]

Spotlight: Ties That Bind

This one’s a doozy folks! If you missed the last spotlight you can go read it here, but strap in for The Ties That Bind, an absolutely brilliant take on humanformers. It’s hosted here at @tiesthatbind-tf​ created by @artsy-hobbitses​!

Q) Give us a run down of your cont! What's it about, what's it called, what's it like?

Ties That Bind is a humanformers-based original continuity which is part Science Fiction and part Alternate History where the invasion of Quintessons and introduction of their technology to Earth in 1920 sets the world and humankind on a completely different trajectory. The active narrative spans a period from 1920 to 2070, covering the First and Second Quintesson Wars, the interplanetary Antillan War (leading to the creation of Unicron on Mars) and the Great War which involves the Autobots, Decepticons and Functionist stalwarts, and how it affects the characters.

The cast is pretty sprawling and the narrative is mostly centred around human drama with bits of humor interspaced and a dash of horror (mostly centred around how the previous government often chose to utilize the technology left behind from the Quintesson Wars to create new systems of oppression, which affected many of the characters, in the name of worldwide rebuilding efforts).

Q) What characters take the lead here? Any personal favorites?

I will admit to this continuity being very much heavy on the relationship between Old Bastards  Optimus Prime and Megatron, which is given considerable weight as they were best friends who had known each other since childhood and were deeply intrinsic to each other’s growths as individuals, which makes it all the worse when guilt and betrayal enter the party. Despite being captains in two corners of this battle, there’s a part of them that just cannot let go of their pasts together and they need to reconcile with how this will affect their agenda (Megatron) and how they lead their team (Optimus) who don’t necessarily share their history.

Other characters with significant development include:

Starscream, a Cold Construct in a toxic working relationship with Megatron with whom he is hiding a dark secret, who struggles to balance the underhanded viciousness he believes he needs to gain power and his innate desire from his Senate days to make the world a better place. 

Windblade, a Camien native who fights her government’s apathy concerning the situation on Earth which they see as unsalvageable compared to their more Utopian society. 

Prowl, a Cold Construct raised from childhood to be a cop in a police state, who finds out that he was brainwashed several times  to ensure his obedience and efficacy as a government asset and is now working to reclaim some semblance of the humanity he was never allowed to feel and figure out how much of him is who he really is and how much is programming.

Hound, a sheltered Beastman who joined the fight to ensure that Beastmen the world over would have the same rights he did in his homeland of Shetland Isle, but is forcefully stripped of his humanity and faced with his animal side during the war and has to relearn what personhood means amid his trauma.

Q) Is there a bigger point to this, like a theme or some catharsis? Or is it just fluffy fun?

God with the amount of time I spent sleepless trying to figure out how the logistics of this or the semantics of that were supposed to work in universe, I cannot for the life of me say it’s fluffy fun, but I can’t exactly say it hasn’t been pretty engaging either!

There’s elements of war being messy for everyone involved where there doesn’t seem to be a clear line between friend and foe at times, but I think for most part it prescribes to  Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s belief that people are inherently good, but are corrupted by the evils of society. Despite its dark themes (Including but not limited to child abuse, torture, illegal experimenation  and brainwashing), love and friendships do prevail, kindness does beget kindness, found families are made, even the smallest actions matter, and things do get better because there are people on both sides who genuinely want to, and strive to make it better.

With Cold Constructs and Beastmen, it also delves heavily into what it means to be human; to have agency and personhood.

There’s also a strong undercurrent of taking responsibility for one’s actions, even if they were made with the best of intentions (Avoidance of this is what eats up Starscream and Megatron from the inside, and what Starscream eventually embraces).

Q) How long have you been working on it?

There’s two answers to this!

I’ve had a Humanformers-related universe going all the way back to 2007 around the time the first Bayformers came out---basically I had a choice between learning to draw cars or draw people (I was an anthro artist back then) and I immediately chose people.

The 2007 draft however had no worldbuilding or connective storylines and was mostly a fun little venture into character design and practice which were actually instrumental to me experimenting and learning how to draw humans properly.

I left the fandom for about a decade and when I came back to it in late 2020 around September via the War for Cybertron series on Netflix, I immediately got hooked on the 2005 IDW comics I missed out on and wanted to get around to updating my old designs as well find a way to translate several of the concepts I wanted to explore in a human sense, so the 2020 update became its own full-fledged original continuity with detailed worldbuilding and history.

You can see the artistic evolution of several characters from their original incarnation below!

Q) It’s incredible to see your artistic improvement too! Give us a behind-the-scenes look! Show us a secret ;))

Say hello to my workspace! I’ve been working exclusively on the Ipad Pro since late 2016, which is fantastic because I can basically whip up concepts and sketches on the go anywhere. Nowhere is too out of bounds to work on TTB!

Also, do enjoy this sneak peek at true!form Rung, whose synthezoid human body took years to perfect.

Q) YESSSSS alright I must admit this is one of my favorite Rungs, and certainly my fave within TTB. Amazing. Phew, anyway. Where did you draw inspiration from? What canons, what other fiction, what parts of real life?

TTB was initially conceived as a faithful retelling of the IDW 2005 narrative before it was transformed into its own continuity and as such, it borrows heavily from concepts and mirrored plot lines introduced in that run! I chose to have the series inspired off it specifically for the amount of history and worldbuilding it introduced to the franchise.

Anime like Gunslinger Girl and Beastars inspired the depictions of Cold Constructs, especially the more harrowing aspects of their upbringing as government assets instead of children, and Beastmen (Beastformers) in TTB.

I haven’t depicted the world itself in my art all too much, but the architecture from Tiger and Bunny, which has sort of a futuristic Art Deco feel to it, is what you’d usually see in major cities. There is an in-universe reason for that---with a Point Of Divergence set in 1920 followed by 25 years (an entire generation) of progress basically being kicked to the curb due to the Quintesson wars, mankind was basically in a time-locked bubble until the end of the wars, and by then their heroes were 1920s-style rebellion leaders, which lead to 1920s fashion (especially among the Manual Working Class---Megatron, Jazz and Optimus all rock 1920s fashion at some point of their lives) and architecture being celebrated and retained as sort of a reminder of how things were before The Invasion. This anime’s background design is also where I adopted the tiered system TTB’s major metropolises are often built on (with each tier being designated to a different working class) from.

The main artistic style itself is a love letter to 90s cartoons, in particular Gargoyles’ deep and drama-driven character narratives and designs as well as The Centurions’ take on body armor logistics.

I also take inspiration, especially armor-wise, from the characters’ given heritage and background. As an example, Hotrod who is depicted as Irish has the flames on his armor done up with Celtic knots. Welsh aristocrat Mirage’s armor bears olden knight-style filigree and has his Autobot logo designed as a coat of arms. Indonesian Soundwave’s armor and Decepticon logo takes cues from Batik and Wayang Kulit while their mask is based off the Barong.

Q) They are absolutely gorgeous! Show off something you're really proud of, a particular favorite part of your cont.

The worldbuilding in general! Most Humanformers I’ve seen tend to treat it like a fun exercise which it is and is definitely valid, but I found myself wanting a full-fledged world to lose myself in and I sought to try and make that world myself by drafting a detailed history and timeline of events which would affect ongoing narratives, having indepth worldbuilding to include almost all societal aspects of the universe and  expanding on the concept of Beastmen and Cold Constructs existing in a human setting.

I’m not so secretly proud of the research and diversity included to make the cast look like the multicultural, globally-based team that they were meant to be instead of being locked to a single region! My original draft from 2007 was, to put it simply, quite culturally monolithic and I wanted to improve on that aspect with TTB.

I’m also proud that I’ve kept to it this far! I’m a notoriously flaky person jumping from one idea/fandom to another and to have kept at this continuity for the better part of ten months is honestly a personal feat.

Art-wise, this scene depicting a young Megatron working alongside Terminus and Impactor (cameo by @weapon-up-wallflower​‘s OC Missit!)  is definitely one of my favorites since it helps build up the world they live in and plays to familial bonds and comfort found in one another despite their less than ideal circumstances.

Q) Everything has come together so beautifully, you absolutely should be proud. What other fan canons do you love and why? Would you like to see them interviewed?

I am dying to hear more from @iscaredspider​’s Sparkpulse continuity! Her designs are MIND-BLOWINGLY GORGEOUS and I want to hear more about what inspired her to work on it!

Also YOU. Yes YOU BLURRITO. LET ME HEAR MORE ABOUT SNAP.

Q) [wails and squirms away in the mortifying ordeal of being known but in a very flattered way] I WILL SOMEDAY I PROMISE aflghsdjg thank you QwQ

Well that was fantastic, Oni, thank you muchly! A magnificent continuity with so much to look forward to! Coming up next is another personal fave of mine, the first inspiration for SNAP, so stick around...

#long post #gore #ties that bind #spotlight #transformers #HUMANFORMERS #transformers au #tf original continuity #transformers fan continuity #transformers redesign #maccadam #i said id post this on sunday but i realize thats a holiday for lots of folks on this site :/

[colorseeingchick]

Oh Baby! A Series (Tsukishima x Fem!Reader)

Summary: You and Tsukishima have been together for years- and pranking each other the whole way through. But what happens when one prank on Tsukki turns out to be a prank on you? 

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of pregnancy, fluff 

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: This is my first fic! I hope you guys like it :) 

“This was the best you could do? Really?” You watch in horror as Tsukishima Kei, your husband of 5 years, holds the positive pregnancy test in his hand, a smug expression plastered across his face. 

Fuck. 

“Babe, this is like the oldest trick in the book. I’m pretty offended that you thought that this would fool me, of all things.” He shakes his head slowly and puts the test back in the bathroom drawer where you (thought you) had hidden it away from his sight. 

You stand there, processing the scenario as it had just played out before you. But that clearly wasn’t enough to sort out how genuinely screwed (ha pun intended) you were.  

How exactly did you end up here again? 

Tsukki had been pranking and roasting you for 12 years now- 1 year as your classmate, 1 year as your friend, 5 years as your boyfriend, and 5 as your husband. Yeah, your high school sweetheart was this sarcastic four-eyes. You were simple to read and gave theatrical reactions which perpetually egged him on to keep messing with you, and eventually led to him developing feelings for you. Despite how annoyed you were by him at first as well, you soon found yourself loving his quick wit and taunting personality. Though the roasts were intense, the pranks were always light. Tsukki made an effort to never push serious or sensitive topics, and he would NEVER try to pull anything when you were in a bad mood. The pranks went both ways as well- and you never felt more accomplished than when you managed to catch your clever boyfriend off guard. Teasing was a staple of your relationship and both of you loved it. But the jokes sometimes had you both a bit too on guard. When Tsukki proposed to you, you thought he was just pulling a more elaborate prank than usual (which led to you initially rejecting him AND causing a hell of a lot of confusion/fear/panic for Tsukishima...until the jokes were clearly set aside. At that point you JOYOUSLY accepted the ring from him, but that’s a story for another day). Looking back on it, you always loved lecturing him on how it was his fault for always playing tricks on you, and that he can’t blame you for not believing him right away. 

But OH! How the tables have turned. 

5 years into your marriage, and the pranks haven’t gone anywhere. However, Tsukki made a “New Years Resolution” to make fun of you more than he had in previous years [Read: Tsukki thinks New Years Resolutions are FAKE NEWS and has made a dumb one to mock the concept]. But considering it was meant to be a parody, he was pretty doing a damn good job of teasing you more than you had ever experienced. Your favorite mug *magically* ended up in the highest cabinet possible on a frequent basis, pieces of your strawberry shortcake would disappear soon after being frosted, and there were plenty of jump scares (which Tsukki went through the effort of recording every time). By the time March rolled around, you were VERY riled up (mind you, at no point had you ever actually attempted to tell Tsukki to stop) and promised Tsukki that you were going to pull the GREATEST prank in the history of your relationship as your grand move of revenge. You made an effort to remind him on a daily basis after that point, and both of your competitive natures came out. 

It was about three weeks after your initial declaration of revenge that you realized your period was quite overdue and morning sickness was setting in. You logically decided to take a pregnancy test. Low and behold, the test came back positive! 

You had known that Tsukishima was ready for children for quite some time now, honestly. He had mentioned it a few times, but you hadn’t felt ready or prepared to be a mom just yet. The man could read you like a book, so seeing distress or discomfort come up when he mentioned it- he would never want to make you feel pressured to have a baby. But after seeing the test, thinking about it (for a good while), and reflecting on your relationship and where you were in life, you felt like you were properly ready to be a mom. All that was left was for you to tell the dad-to-be. But seeing as you two were in a pranking WAR, you figured the timing wasn’t quite ideal just yet. Which is why you decided to hide the test and tell him after April 1st, as to prevent him from assuming you were pulling your grand prank with the pregnancy test. 

Never did you expect him to FIND the test on April Fools itself. If he had found it the days before, it would have been better than him finding it today. The one event you were trying to avoid was the only event to occur. As of right now, the world is playing a big prank on you. Though you definitely weren’t laughing. 

And I was ACTUALLY going to do the prank today, too! Ughh. You slide down your bathroom wall, contemplating where to even go with this. You could go through with your real prank, but at this point it felt excessively stupid in comparison to everything else going on. Right now, the priority was telling Tsukki the truth. You get up and rush downstairs, to where Tsukki was sitting on the couch, book in hand. 

“Kei, we need to talk.” You plop down next to him, casually placing one of your legs on top of his lap. 

He closes the book and tosses you one of his classic smirks, side eye and all. “Yes, Y/N?”

“Kei... I’m…” You grab his hand, “I’m actually pregnant.” 

He stares into your eyes, expression neutral. Meanwhile, your eyes dig daggers into him, as to say “I’m being DEAD serious you have to believe me or else.” 

He blinks a couple of times, smiles, and then raises the hand you put on top of his, sweetly kissing right below your knuckles. 

“I commend you for trying to rescue your prank, but you’re not gonna fool me like that.” He squeezes your hand before getting up and walking away to the kitchen, leaving you in absolute shock on the couch. He doesn’t believe me. Not even a little bit. 

Fuck. 

As the day goes on, you get more and more desperate to try and convince him of how you actually were now carrying his baby. And the more you try, the more he rejects the idea. Your last ditch effort is during dinner, when you make pancakes (breakfast for dinner was a Saturday specialty for you two) and you spell out “I have your CHILD” with chocolate chips on top of his stack. 

“You realize how out of context, this could be read a VERY different way, right?” He would have been fed up with how persistent you were being, if it wasn’t for how creative you were being about it. So instead, he was just thoroughly amused. 

You, on the other hand, are far from amused. Desperate, hopeless, and VERY irritated at the blond beanpole you called your husband, you aggressively stab your pancakes and eat in silence. 

I definitely set myself up for this, I’m not gonna lie. 

But there is only one way out, and that’s with fresh evidence. Right after finishing dinner, you leave the house and head to your local shop without saying a word to Tsukki. 

...She’s really sticking to it huh. Does she know that this isn’t as funny as she thinks it is? He thinks to himself as he sips on some warm milk while listening to some music and reading on the couch.

[Trust me Tsukki. She doesn’t think this is funny at all.]

Though you weren’t at the store for all that long, your husband managed to pass out on the couch (the milk made him sleepy). You sigh, shaking him into slight consciousness and dragging him up the stairs to your bedroom. As you push him onto the bed, he grabs your waist and tries to pull you onto him. He manages to get you close to his chest, and he nuzzles his nose into your neck, mostly asleep and searching for cuddles. For how irritating, snarky, and teasing your husband was, he was awfully affectionate and overwhelmingly sweet in moments like these. 

“Not yet, baby,” you whisper to his unconscious head, pulling his glasses off his face. “I have to prove how much of an idiot you are for not believing me. Then you get cuddles.” You wriggle yourself out of his grasp and head to the bathroom, taking another test to confirm what you already knew to be true. 

Sighing upon the sight of the two lines, you place this test in the drawer with the other one. “I’ll show him tomorrow when he’s awake and ready to face my wrath.” You smile mischievously while shutting the drawer.

You take care of some unfinished business in your house as it slowly hits 1 am. Exhausted, you eventually find yourself crawling into bed and under Tsukki’s arms, nuzzling into his chest as his arms instinctively encase you, your face tucking into the crook of his neck. 

How badly you wanted to stay upset at him. But it felt virtually impossible when he showered you with so much love. Being wrapped up in the warmth of his arms  quickly helped you drift off to sleep. 

---

You stirred back into consciousness at around 7 am,when the warmth that had wrapped around your body had disappeared, your husband not in sight. He usually woke up early on weekends to go run, so his absence wasn't surprising. Too groggy to worry or think straight, you instinctively get out of bed to go use the restroom as nausea shifts your stomach. However, when you approach the door frame of your master bathroom, you see Tsukki staring into the drawer, looking stiff as a statue. His face hidden, you could tell he’s deeply lost in thought. 

“Kei?” You ask softly, “ Love, is everything alri-”

He twists his body to face you, an unreadable expression adorning his strong and normally smug features. It scared you a little. 

“...Kei?” 

He reveals the two tests in his hands as he strides towards you, holding them directly in front of your line of sight. 

“Y/N, all jokes aside. Okay?”

You had a strong indication as to where this was going. “Okay.” 

“Are you really pregnant?” 

You paused for a second. Although the answer to the question was easy, there was a sudden fear that rose in your stomach upon hearing his tone. What if he was in denial because he didn’t want the baby? Would he be angry if he found out you were serious? But you were almost certain he would be as excited as you for the baby. 

Your pause of insecurity was accompanied by a blank expression that had Tsukki’s anticipation skyrocketing. He really wasn’t one to overthink. Thinking just the right amount was his specialty. He’s a rational guy. But you always managed to push that a little, and became the exception. 

“Y/N??” His hands grab your shoulders with a slight squeeze.

You jump back into reality as he calls your name. No matter what his reaction was, he would need to know the truth. You could do damage control after. 

“Yes. I really am pregnant, Kei. But if you don’t think we’re rea-”

“Is it mine?”

At this, you got pissed real fast. 

“The hell? Of course it’s yours, who else’s kid would it be what the hell do you thi-”

He engulfs you in a tight, crushing hug, pulling you against him entirely with his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck. He lets out a shaky breath as he sways you side to side in his embrace. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m gonna be a dad.” Relief radiates off of him, and you could feel a genuine and innocent smile pressed against your skin. 

Now you felt like an idiot for even worrying about telling him the truth. 

You gently pull away from his body to look him in the eyes, his arms still draped around you. “Kei, why didn’t you believe me when I told you yesterday?” 

He looked away from you, eyes on the ground. “Whenever I tried to bring it up in the past, you seemed uncomfortable, and you’ve told me before that you aren’t sure if you were ready to be a mom… I thought that I was the only one who wanted a baby... So when you promised a grand prank for days on end, and I found a positive pregnancy test... I just assumed it was an intense prank and didn’t wanna get my hopes up.” Despite everything, Tsukki had never been the best at direct confrontation. You both were advocates of clear communication and drawing lines, yes, but sometimes, for your sake, he tried to accommodate. It warmed your heart and broke it at the same time to see him all soft and vulnerable, compared to his usual tough guy act. 

“Baka.” You pulled his face down to yours so your foreheads touched, his eyes having no option but to lock with yours. “I would never lie about something like this. We’ve always been good about keeping serious stuff serious, yeah?” 

He murmured in agreement as he slowly closed his eyes. 

You giggle. “You know me too well, though. For a long time I didn’t think I was ready. Even when I took the first test I had doubt in myself. But I thought about everything and… I think I’m ready to have this baby. If it's with you then, yeah. I’m ready.” 

He opens his eyes again just to stare at you for a long moment before saying, “You’re gonna be as weird a mom as you are a wife.” 

You smack his arm and scowl at him. He breaks out and laughs, “Don’t worry, our baby will probably be as weird as you, so it will be great.” Your scowl deepened. It’s his turn to grab your face and kiss your nose, staring at you with all the love in the world. “It's because you’re so weird that I love you so much. Who else would be able to throw back what I dish out AND amuse me at the same time?” He quirks an eyebrow at you. 

You sigh, effectively flustered by his wacky compliment. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” His infamous smirk makes a reappearance and damn, are you a sucker for that smirk. 

“But-” you continue, “we really have set some ground rules from here on out. I thought your proposal would be the greatest mix-up in our relationship, but this is too close of a second.”

“Agreed.”

“And throughout this pregnancy you sure as hell better lay off on the teasing and pranks because I swear I will-” 

“I promise. I’ll be nice to you while you’re carrying our baby. I know- how absolutely uncharacteristic of me.” 

You roll your eyes, a smile sneaking onto your face. “Be careful, I might get used to it.” 

He rolls his eyes back, smiling as well. “So, truce?” 

“Truce.” 

He finally pulls away from you and walks as to exit your bedroom. “We’ll talk more about this later, I’m gonna go on my run for now. Do you know where my water bottle is by the way?” 

You lean against the door frame once again. “It should be in the office.” 

“Alright, I’ll let you know when I get back.”

You smiled to yourself, your stomach bubbling from nausea, yes, but also from happiness. How did you get so lucky with such a snarky beanpole? You had yet to figure it out. 

“OI Y/N!” You broke out of your thoughts again as Tsukki sprints up the stairs and essentially throws himself into your bedroom. 

“Yes?”

His face is completely awestruck, stuck in a state of shock and disbelief. 

“You wanna tell me why there are dinosaur stickers covering literally everything in my office?”

A mischievous grin slowly crawls across your face. 

His desk, chair, lamp, laptop, printer, and walls were plastered with dinosaur stickers. A flag with a dinosaur was hung behind his desk as well. (The visit to the shop the night before was the last of 5 trips you had made- you had gone to all sorts of stores to find jumbo stickers over the course of the past few weeks, because Tsukki would have seen packages if you ordered stickers online). 

“You couldn’t even spare my water bottle?” He lifts it, as to express his exasperation. 

The water bottle looked excessively stupid, as its usual blue service was covered with green baby dinos. 

“What happened to the truce?” He asks, still shocked. 

“I told you I would get my revenge.” The sass and pride was tangible in your voice. 

“Happy belated April Fool’s, Kei.”

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu #haikyu oneshot #haikyu fluff #tsukishima kei #tsukki #tsukishima x reader #haikyu imagines #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima oneshot #tsukishima kei x reader #Oh baby! A series #Colorseeingchick writes

[otterplusharchive]

rey! do you have any recs for kdramas? i have never watched any, but i like lovable characters and romance ? thank you in advance!

I DO IN FACT HAVE DRAMA RECS HII not all of these will be kdramas, but ill start with the kdramas ive watched and enjoyed and ill include all the warnings for them that i can remember off the top of my head and a brief synopsis for u!

kdramas-

1. weight lifting fairy kim bok joo

this was probably one of the first kdramas i saw people post about in like 2015 and i watched a little bit of it in 2016 but then only just got around to finishing it last year. the basic gist of it is its about a young sports college weight lifter, kim bok joo, centering around her navigating through her life and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in life and what she wants to be. her romantic interest in the show is a swimmer and they have a sort of rivals to friends to lovers, he is SO in love with her and its adorable. i absolutely loved the side characters in this show theyre all so fun and kim bok joos best friends and weight lifting team are especially delightful. my main warning would be that this show addresses eating disorders and theres a lot of mention of both weight gain and weight loss, theres also a plot point early on where kim bok joo has a crush on her eventual love interests older brother but it gets resolved and the older brother literally goes "i didnt realize you had a crush on me and if i knew that i wouldnt have been so friendly with you, it would be completely innapropriate for us to be in a relationship". overall its a really sweet and emotional fun show but if you have issues with weight talk id skip this one

2. tale of the nine tailed

this one is really recent from last year and i didnt expect to be so hooked by it but boy howdy did i get attached to all the characters and the wild plot. it feels hard to explain the plot but basically a nine tailed fox named lee yeon is living in modern day seoul and is working for the underworld finding paranormal spirits/creatures/other rogue foxes that are causing havoc on the world, hes resigned himself to living this life while waiting for his girlfriend who died tragically 600 years ago to come back to life because he traded his status as a mountain god in order to ensure that her soul would one day be reincarnated. a plucky investigative journalist named nam ji ah figures out that hes not human and shenanagins ensue because she looks exactly like his dead girlfriend oooooo whatll happen. the plot beyond that gets really wild and its hard to explain and is easier to just watch. if u enjoy paranormal adventures this one is good. my one big complaint and issue with this is that the immortal mountain spirit meets his original girlfriend when shes a child and she continues to visit him off and on as she grows up which is Hm I Dont Like That! but thankfully the present time romance our female lead meets him when shes about 30 if im remembering right. also warnings for general fantasy violence, references to child abuse, animal death, and abandonment issues

3. extraordinary you

HUGE unreality warning for this. if you have issues with feeling unreal or have paranoia/delusions about not being a real person id avoid this one just because of its premise

ok i know i said tale of the nine tailed was a hard plot to explain but BOY extraordinary you is even HARDER to explain. because its so wild but so good. its about a girl who realizes that she is literally a side character in a comic book, and the story becomes her trying to change the story to save her character from dying but it becomes a lot more than that. the romance in this is literally tooth achingly sweet and the show itself is very pretty, i loved the side characters in this one and the show was engaging and interesting to watch it became really layered and meta. super reccomend this one honestly. my main issues/warnings that i can remember off the top of my head were just one character being the classic controlling boyfriend stereotype, bullying someone specifically for being poor, unreality like i mentioned before, and then at the very end there was this love interest for a side character who got reincarnated from a past piece of writing that they had been in and put in the comic but she was a student and he was the school cook which is weird but thankfully they like barely interact at all and theres no real romance he just like recognizes her and its barely a thing at the end of the show but its still weird

4. mystic pop up bar

big warning for suicide, sexual harrasment (which is framed as being bad and the guy whos harrassing the girl literally gets thrown off a roof)

i havent finished this one yet and thats mainly because im not emotionally ready because this one makes me soooo emotional. if you like found family this is a good one. its about a pop up bar run by a woman whos been tasked with solving the problems of a certain amount of people in order to atone for her crimes in the past before dying, shes able to enter the dreams of people and solve their issues using the information she gets in the dreams. paranormal shenanagins ensue, she acquires a son and a husband and it kills me its so fun and quirky and fun despite handling dark themes and peoples problems. also very sweet the found family murders me

5. kingdom (netflix original)

i literally am not going to be able to watch any other zombie media because kingdom and train to busan are the best pieces of zombie media ive ever seen. warnings for gore and violence and just general horror aspects.

i absolutely love this one its so thrilling and well done, i love the acting and the way that this show looks its absolutely gorgeous. a zombie plague breaks out in joseon period korea where the emperor has died and then was brought back to life by the queen and her father in a ploy to try and keep their family in political power, the crown prince must find answers. a lot more happens and its very dramatic and good i love the characters in this one

cdramas

1. the untamed. if you follow me and you havent watched the untamed im begging you to watch the untamed. literally one of the most beautiful stories ive experienced in my life i am not joking when i say i cried multiple times over it. the main characters are canonically gay in love and have a son together please watch the untamed. handles a lot of dark themes, heres a tw guide

2. the sleuth of the ming dynasty

this is another one i havent finished but its fun so far, very gay, found family, food, and solving murder mysteries during the ming dynasty

3. hikaru no go (also known as qi hun)

havent finished this one, there is some propaganda about hong kong in the first episode but as far as i know thats the only instance of something like that in the show

this ones about the game go and so far its very sweet and fun, local boy awakens a ghost who was a master of the game of go hundreds of years ago and eventually is persuaded to learn how to play go with the aid of the ghost. im really liking this one so far its very cute and i love the characters in it. if youve watched the untamed nie huaisangs actor ji li is in this one!

4. the legend of yunqian

this ones very short and on youtube, all the episodes are about 5 minutes long and its a lesbian time travel fantasy adventure with a happy ending! funny and cute

jdramas

1. cherry magic

please please please watch cherry magic. the premise sounds very much like a weird yaoi kind of thing but trust me on this. trust me. it is so heart warming and sweet and i was so emotional about it and the growth of the main character.

adachi gains the power to read peoples minds on his 30th birthday based off a urban legend that if youre a 30 year old virgin that youll become a wizard. after gaining this power he accidentally finds out that his extremely popular and handsome coworker has a crush on him, and shenanagins ensue along with adachi having blossoming feelings in return. this show was really refreshing in a lot of ways, adachi is a main character who like.. is unsure of himself and insecure in a very kind of realistic way, he closes himself off and is afraid to reach out to people and through the course of the show we see him slowly come out of his shell and realize that hes likeable and lovable and that people want to be around him and its so nice to see. my main complaint about this show is that i dont really like the background couple, but otherwise this is a very sweet and refreshing gay romance that has a happy ending!

some others that i myself havent seen but that ive seen people talk about a lot and that i want to watch eventually:

- the legend of fei (cdrama)

- the wolf (cdrama)

- gaurdian (cdrama, not the kdrama one called goblin)

- healer (kdrama, i did watch some of this one but it was in 2016 and i never finished it so i barely remember any of it but i do remember liking it)

- nobody knows (kdrama)

- its ok to not be ok (kdrama)

sorry this is so long but i hope youll be able to find a drama u enjoy!!

#long post

[justpan]

Title: Unwilling Bride

Pairing: Peter x Reader

Summary: Pirates are planning an attack and all hands are on board to prepare for battle...maybe even the wrong hands.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30

Now that Bae had “escaped” the island, it was just a waiting game. 

Waiting for him to grow up and meet the product of true love so that they could create the truest believer.

Peter of course kept his eyes on this but there was very little he could do to hurry things along, no matter how much he wished he could have.

You wished that there was something you could do to help him, but there wasn’t anything that you could do either; plus you weren’t sure if he wanted to talk to you at all at this point.

Now that you and Rufio were an item.

It seemed like things around camp were still trying to find a new way to operate; everyone was walking on eggshells either around Pan or you and Rufio. Despite how often you assured the Lost Boys that you no longer harbored any ill feelings for your ex.

Of course you and Peter weren’t exactly friendly enough to spend time together away from camp business but you were at least able to speak with each other directly, which was a huge improvement. 

Business was all it was though, it was like he had decided to keep you at an arm's length, and you understood why.

You couldn’t stand to even see him walking toward Wendy’s hut back when you had first divorced, you couldn’t imagine seeing him with her the way he saw you with Rufio.

Laughing by fires, playfully wrestling during training and sneaking off to your little hide away for more...intense making out.

To his credit Peter never seemed to hold a grudge against Rufio, not that he really could without being obvious. Rufio was a great addition to the Lost Boys; he was an amazing hunter and he had even begun training other boys in acrobatics, showing them how to use the trees of Neverland to their advantage.

Things were tense but they were working, you were happy.

Only one thing seemed to be an issue… Wendy.

She had apparently complained and whined enough about feeling cooped up in that hut that Pan had finally caved and given her one simple task.

Berry and herb collecting.

The most basic chore, and it had been basically marked as pointless since the pirates delivered plenty of food and herbs, but the little twit felt like she was contributing to the camp.

You were sitting down skinning today’s kill when Wendy came and sat next to you, staring at you wordlessly.

‘What do you want?’ you asked in annoyance as you stayed focused on the rabbit you were busy with.

‘I want to be friends with you.’ she said quickly.

‘Why? Because I’m the only girl here, want to braid each other’s hair and talk about all the cute boys here?’  you scoffed.

‘No…’

You looked at her from the corner of your eye.

‘Well, we don’t have to braid hair or talk about boys...but it would be nice to be friends with at least one person here, and I have nothing in common with the boys.’ Wendy confessed.

‘You have nothing in common with me, other than what’s between your legs.’ 

‘That can’t be true, my mother always told me every woman has something in common with another.’

‘Really? Have you ever shot an arrow, or been hit by one?’ you asked.

‘No!’ Wendy gasped in horror.

‘Skinned any squirrels?’

‘No.’

‘Then not a lot in common.’

‘Have you ever...bled through your skirts?’ Wendy tried.

The laugh that shot out of you nearly startled you, you had never thought that she would bring up the thing one the two of you would have in common.

‘Of course I have!’ you laughed.

As you continued to laugh Wendy joined in as well and you thought of how confused all the boys must be to see the two of you laughing together, and that just made you laugh harder.

‘Oh my God! Sit down you daffodil, if you can handle the shit show that is your period then you can handle skinning a few squirrels.’ you invited, handing her a squirrel and a skinning knife.

The girl looked horrified, but she took the two items, holding them like they were poisonous.

‘We are not friends, but I think your life here would be better if you stopped being so soft. That’s why the boys are so annoyed by you, you try to apply your stupid manners to them; manners that mean dog shit in a place like this.’ you explained as you showed her how to cut through the skin and pull it off in one go.

‘I know...it's just hard to forget how I was raised.’ 

‘Where you from Wendy, Oz? Boys from there always seem to be more polite.’ you conversed as you watched her struggle to remove the skin like you showed her.

‘Oz...no I’m from England.’

‘England? As in my world? Do you know anything about America?’ you asked, suddenly interested.

‘America? Yes I believe that’s where the bad people are sent to work.’ she said as she finally completed her task, proudly showing off her feat. 

‘Yikes so you are from WAY back in the day.’ you sighed.

The two of you conversed while you skinned the game, Wendy of course sticking to the smaller animals while you tackled the deer and boar.

Eventually Rufio came up to you and kissed your cheek.

‘Stop it, I'm busy.’ you smiled, making no move to push him off.

‘What if I came to help? Can I stay then?’ he asked, holding up his own knife.

‘Depends, did you sharpen all the weapons, that was your chore for the day.’ 

Your boyfriend made a completely offended face, showing you his knife again.

‘Look at this beauty, have you ever seen a blade so sharp? I think I might cut myself just by looking at it.’ he boasted.

‘It is a lovely piece of work.’ Wendy spoke up politely.

Rufio sent her a look as if he was only now seeing her right there, then he looked over to you in confusion.

‘We’ve found common ground over the fact that both of our vaginas shed.’ you smiled.

‘Great...is this that feminism you told me about?’ he asked as he took hold of a boar and started skinning it.

‘Part of it.’ you answered.

The three of you made basic small talk as you skinned all your animals and once you were finished Tootles came to take them and make jerky.

‘I don’t understand why everyone still hunts, the pirates bring us plenty of food.’ Wendy said.

‘Keeps my boys sharp, I don’t need a camp full of fat lazy hormonal idiots. This island would eat them alive, and Pan has a reputation that is bound to lead someone with bad intentions our way. If my parents did me any favors it was teaching me to always be prepared for a shit show.’ you said.

‘And it’s fun, not like there is anything else to do but beat the hell out of each other and descend into chaos. We need the organization.’ Rufio said as you all looked over at a random brawl that was taking place.

‘This is organized?’ Wendy asked in horror.

‘Completely organized.’ Felix said as he approached your little trio.

‘Oh looky here, where have you been Fruitcake?’ Rufio smiled.

‘With Pan.’ the scarred boy replied.

‘With Pan as in...with Pan.’ you teased, lowering the tone in your voice.

‘As in we have real business to discuss, come on I’ll fill you in on the way.’ he said as he walked past.

‘His bedside manner needs a lot of work.’ you sighed as you bid your boyfriend and Wendy farewell.

Felix led you toward Peter’s Thinking Tree, a place you were not too fond of, considering he had tied you to it when you first met.

‘What’s going on?’ you asked.

‘Pirates, looks like they might be up to something, deliveries are coming later and shorter and they seem to be getting a bit too bold. Pan thinks they might be preparing to attack.’

‘That makes no sense, from how it was explained to me they got a pretty sweet deal with us. Why attack and risk losing it?’

‘They are dumb adults with too much pride.’ Felix said in annoyance.

‘Now that you know what I do, tell me something I don’t know. Like how are things with you and the Rooster.’

‘Things are great, he’s great and he treats me great. Things with him just flow naturally with no rush and no hesitation. I really like him.’ you answered.

‘So it’s boring.’ Felix hummed.

‘No! It is not boring, it's...safe. I like him and he likes me, we get along and he’s sweet and attractive as hell. Nothing is wrong with us, we are a good couple.’ you defended.

‘Safe? Look at where you live...you don’t like safe (Y/N).’ he said.

‘I do like safe, when it comes to relationships. I like knowing that I’m never going to wake up one day and everything between me and Rufio has just...changed. Or worry that the whole time it was all just some scheme.’

‘I can’t speak on whatever Pan’s plans are or were, but I can say he seemed happier with you. I think it was real.’ Felix reasoned.

‘So did I, but then it wasn’t, then he told me it was. It was all such a yo-yo game and I just can’t get back on the string man. Rufio is safe and I like that...I need that.’ you finished.

‘Fine, your business I guess, but my curiosity begs to know...how safe is my friend.’ Felix asked.

‘What do you mean?’ 

‘How far have you two gotten? The bastard won’t tell me anything.’

‘Well Nosy, if you must know; we’ve done…’ you paused.

‘You’ve done what?’ he urged.

‘...pretty much the same as I did with Peter.’ you grinned as your friend rolled his eyes.

‘So still no real sex, I honestly don’t know how you’ve waited this long, Lord knows I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a good chunk of these boys.’ 

‘Even Rufio?’ you gasped.

‘Ew no...it’s practically incest, even I have some morality.’ he laughed.

At last you two arrived at the thinking tree and saw Peter sitting at the roots, twirling the vile of fairy dust he wore on his neck.

About a year ago the Thinking Tree went dry and he couldn’t get anymore so he was saving the last of his supply for an emergency. So that meant no more flying for him and you could all tell that it depressed the hell out of him.

‘Felix filled me in. What’s the plan and what do I need to do?’ you asked as you crouched down in front of him.

‘They’re camping near Mermaid Lagoon, which is risky but smart. If I weren’t so clever I’d never expect anyone to anchor their ship in such a dangerous spot and they could creep on through the woods around the Forgotten Forest and ambush our camp.’ Pan explained as he drew a crude map in the dirt to show the path from the Lagoon to your camp.

‘But you are clever, so what are we going to do when they attack?’ Felix asked as he leaned against the tree.

‘Place the archers in the trees, clubs and swords in the bushes, nice and swift battle.

‘Are you kidding me?’ you scoffed.

‘What is wrong with that plan?’ Pan asked.

‘Nothing, if you want casualties and a boring fight no one is going to think about next week.’ you said.

With a slightly disappointed sigh you wiped away his map and drew your own.

‘Move the camp, leave the clearing empty to make the battlefield, have fences built in to trap the pirates in once they arrive. When that is done clubs and swords drop down from the trees; leave the archers on the ground behind the trees and bushes. Once they are ready to flee we let down the fence and send them off knowing not to attack us ever again.’ you explain as you drew out your plan in the dirt.

‘That’s huge.’ Felix said as he also crouched down to look over your plan.

‘It is...so big no one would even think to expect it… but it might be too big. I expect an attack in a matter of weeks. We don’t have time to build fences and move the camp.’ Pan argued.

‘Then I will magic the camp into a new spot and that will give the boys more time to work on the fences.’

‘I can have our best builders working on it now. And the rest can compact the camp so it's easier for (Y/N) to move.’ Felix added.

Peter looked hesitant but he nodded and sent Felix off.

You were considering leaving too but something in your gut was telling you that Peter was upset about something.

‘What’s wrong?’ 

‘Nothing.’ 

‘Try that with someone else who doesn’t know you, you’ve been frowning since you heard my plan.’

‘Your plan is great...perfect even.’

‘So what is the issue, do you think it’s too risky?’

‘No, I just...I would have liked to have been a part of it more but I can’t do much to help with how weak my magic is becoming. If it weren’t for my shadow, I wouldn’t have even known something was wrong since I can’t patrol the island anymore.’ he said as he stood up.

‘Hey, you are doing plenty and we will get through this, it’s child’s play.’ you assured him.

‘You don’t need to placate me (Y/N), it doesn’t help. I’ll just keep eyes on the pirates for now and I’ll let you know when they are close.’ Peter said as he turned to walk away.

‘Wait.’

Peter turned back and looked at you.

‘The boys miss you at camp, and now more than ever they are going to want to see you. It’s nice to see the person you follow into battle and I don’t think they want to see you full of doubt.’ 

‘I doubt they want to see how useless I am now, do you think they follow me because of my winning personality? It’s my power that they respect and I’m losing it (Y/N), once that’s gone I’m going to lose them.’ he said before walking away.

You wished you could say something to say make him feel better but you know deep down he was right. Every single Lost Boy survived their old lives by being cut throat and while here there was an obvious hierarchy you had to imagine a good amount of them still had ambition. 

Without Pan at the helm the island would descend into pure chaos and mutiny.

You had to shake away those thoughts and focus on what was happening now; pirate attacks.

There was a lot of work to be done and thankfully Felix wasted no time on briefing the boys on what was about to go down and got them in action immediately.

‘Pull as much as you can into your tents, its easier to move full tents than everything item by item! Move it boys, this isn’t a game, pack this shit in, fill the tent’s to the brim!’ you yelled as you entered the camp.

It was full on panic as everyone was running around picking up everything they could pick up and placing it in tents. Whenever one was full you would send it off to another clearing that was closer to your little room but further from the Lagoon.

You found it so odd sometimes, your magic still felt as strong as it had always been, but Peter’s seemed to fade more and more as the days went on. You imagined it had to do with his ties to that Hourglass and the island.

Eventually the sun was setting, another thing that was odd to you, daylight felt like it only lasted five hours. At first you wanted to chop it all up to time being useless here and you simply losing track of it, but one day you took the time to pay attention and you knew it for sure.

Plants were drying, animals were becoming harder to find, days were shortening and Peter’s magic was weakening...it wasn’t hard for you to put it all together.

The island was dying, and Peter was scared.

With it being dark now and the temperature dropping you let them all turn in, letting everyone know it was going to be an early start tomorrow.

You noticed Wendy hadn’t been helping too much with heavy lifting but it looked like she was at least trying. Took her about thirty seven years but she was finally putting in the effort to try and help around camp.

For the next two weeks everyone was focused on the tasks at hand, building fences and preparing for the attack.

Everything was perfect and everyone was excited for what was sure to be an easy win and an epic battle; even Wendy who was certainly not fighting in it, but she would play a very big part in it.

You had sent her off to make sure the tents were being sent to the right clearing, in other words you were getting her out of the way.

What you didn’t plan on  was her being dumb enough to get lost in the Forgotten Forest, the one place even Pan’s shadow couldn’t navigate and you certainly didn’t think the Pirates were also that foolish.

But at last they were, and they did cross paths.

Wendy stood before this large group of filthy men and their weapons and she felt frozen with fear as they looked at her, taking in her stupid cute dress and defenseless self.

‘Well boys looky what we have here, I guess even Pan needs to have his needs met.’ Hook smiled dangerously as he approached the frozen girl.

He raised his hook and threateningly slid it down her face, leaving a trail of reddened skin in his wake.

‘P-please don’t.’ she said as a tear fell from her eyes.

‘Oh sweetheart what do you think of us? We would never hurt such a young...cooperative girl like you.’ he said with a dark look.

#peter pan imagine #ouat imagine #peter pan ouat #peter pan x reader #Felix #reader x rufio #hook ouat #unwilling bride series

[iplaymatchmaker]

May I request an IkeRev matchup? Likes: Watching and discussing film and television, cats, the beach, period romances, hockey. Dislikes: Most foods (i'm a picky eater), selfish people. Hobbies/Skills: I'm an actress and a pretty good one (if I say so myself), reading tarot, studying astrology, board games, crochet. Passions: Community activism and intersectional feminism. I'm an INTP Ravenclaw and my introversion makes me come off as cold until I open up to you, then I'm v funny and sarcastic!

A/N: Heyo, person behind the blog here, I just wanted to apologize for being so absent, and arguably very slow with asks (what’s new here), life is super busy and it has sort of killed my motivation to write. I’ll try to finish the next few faster, so bear with me.😅

I match you with

Ray!

Thanks a bunch for your patience, sorry this is so late but I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for requesting🥰 ! This was honestly such a blast to write and helped relieve some stress, so thanks.❤

Before the two of you grew closer, Ray was just the intimidating leader of the black army. It’s an understatement to say that you are surprised when you find him sandwiched between a chunk of the cats you frequently feed. You stay silent for a few minutes, endeared by the sight of the King of Spades playing with street cats.

When he notices you, his laid back smile is replaced by confusion. He doesn’t’ seem convinced when you tell him you were bringing food to the cats, but the bag you are carrying is enough evidence to support your claim.

Despite your rocky start, the two of you end up meeting on occasion at the same alley, either by coincidence or fate. Since you already learned his secret, the two of you often spend time together, usually at night when he’s off duty. It serves as a break from the routine, a space where you could forget about your problems outside of that moment.

The peace is disturbed when you are attacked by a group of bandits, looking for some easy cash. You had never had a similar incident happen before, but looking at the dimly lit alley around you, you realized standing alone wasn’t the best idea. You were planning your escape when Ray appeared out of seemingly nowhere, knocking down the two men in a swift movement. The event served as the catalyst for the shift in your relationship, moving towards something deeper than idle friendship.

Soon you start meeting outside of the confined space of the alley, on his days off, slowly getting to know each other on a more significant level.

The first time he sees you crocheting, waiting for him at the small café in Central Quarter, he is convinced you’re working magic. Despite your attempts to explain it to him, his hands seem to only be good for gripping the sword. Even so, he seems to grow a habit of watching you do it, claiming it’s relaxing when it’s you doing it.

 Prompt: Date

 Standing in the middle of an ongoing fight, you began questioning how it always ended up so messy with him.

You had been eating dinner at Black Army Headquarters, making idle conversation with Seth when the topic of Ray came up.

“How are things between you?” it shouldn’t have been a hard question. You both loved spending time together and you felt like you were growing more and more comfortable with each other. Still, something held you back from a quick reply.

“Oh no! What did that brute do?” a face of horror only Seth could master fell over his face.

“It’s nothing…” you were going to change the topic, but the man had never been on to leave a lady in distress without advice.

“When someone says it’s nothing, it’s usually something bad.”

“Is that so?” you smirked, hoping to lighten the mood but he didn’t seem ready to move on. You sighed, knowing full well how considerate everyone in the black army was. Perhaps it would be good to talk someone.

“It’s silly really. I just… I feel like I’ve been seeing him less and less. He’s always busy with one thing or the other these days. He’s been working his days off as well so…” your voice trailed off when you realized you had been rambling.

“I see, I see. Not to worry, big sister Seth is here to save the day. Leave it to me  <3. “  you weren’t sure what he was planning but you were glad to see him chipper again.

  It was shortly after waking up the next morning that you realized what he had been plotting.

Ray was hovering around the door when you got up, confusion written all over his face.

“Rethinking your will?” you wrapped your hands around him to peak at the letter he was holding.

“What?” his eyes were still drowsy after a long night or reading reports and you couldn’t help but tease him a little.

“What’s so interesting about a piece of paper? Don’t you have a stack of those fighting for your attention on your desk?” your tone was playful but you were still disappointed at your own words, knowing you wouldn’t see him again until dinner.

“Seems like those will have to wait.” He finally cracked a smile and turned to you, handing you the small piece of paper.

Dear Ray,

       This is a letter signed by all thirteen officers of the Black Army. With this letter, we order you to take a day off as compensation for working on your breaks. Consider this your punishment. We better not see you working, or we will be forced to double your punishment to two days off. Your duty today is to have fun and spend time with your girlfriend.

            -With Love,

The black army officers <3.

  You mentally slapped Seth in the face.

“I didn’t know this was what he had in mind.” You run a hand through your hair, still messy from sleeping in.

“Did he tell you about this?” you were expecting Ray to be upset at the turn of events, but he still wore his laid back smile, giving you hope that this could turn in your favor.

“It’s nothing. I just saw something in the stars.” You pecked his lips, arms wrapping around his neck to bring him closer. The close contact made you realize how long it had been since you had been alone.

“I see. Well, considering they went through all the trouble of grounding me, we might as well make the most of it.” His arms tightened around you as he closed the distance between you. You started appreciating Seth’s gesture after all.

After a late breakfast you packed up, ready to spend his first break in a while on the beach. You couldn’t keep the smile from your face as you walked through the woods, a comfortable silence falling between the two of you.

Despite your bright mood, something in your mind was still worried that Ray’s smile was forced. You had seen how hard he had been working and it was hard to shake the feeling that a day off would only cause more stress. You ultimately decided to keep your worries to yourself, determined to make the day worth his while.

“I love the breeze.” Once the cold air hit your face you felt yourself relax, the sound of the waves hitting the shore playing like music in your ears.

“Come on!” you grabbed Ray’s arm, dragging him to the water, practically skipping over the golden sand.

“Don’t trip!” in the end, it was Ray who fell over, causing you to topple over laughing before helping him up, sand now covering his backside.

After setting up, you made yourself comfortable on one of the chairs, the warm sun of the afternoon pleasant on your skin.

“Care for a swimming contest? First to make it to the hill and back wins.” Ray’s offer came with a confident smile, peaking your competitive curiosity.

“And what do I get if I win?” you rose from your seat, challenging him with your eyes.

“How about one favor? Don’t worry, I’ll be kind.” you both smiled, sparks practically flying between you.

“How romantic.” You placed a light kiss on his lips, preparing for takeoff.

“You’re going down Blackwell.” And with that you were off, sprinting towards the water.

“Cheater.” You could hear Ray behind you, trying to catch up. You were both laughing now, wishing the moment could last forever.

You were panting by the time you got to shore. Despite your best efforts, Ray had arrived a solid minute before you. You could resist splashing him when you made it back.

“Those muscles shouldn’t be allowed in this competition.” You were pouting, but it didn’t matter to you much who won, as long as you could spend more days without worries.

“So you don’t like my build?” his pouting wasn’t very convincing but he had the spirit. You wrapped you arms around him, your faces inches apart.

“I never said that.” Before you could prove your point, you heard a scream coming from further down the shore.

“Help me!” Ray quickly entered solider mode, searching for the source of the screams.

“That woman!” you pointed to a woman visibly fighting to free herself from the grasp of three men. You stayed behind Ray as you approached the group.

“Leave her alone.” Ray’s voice was cold as ice, a complete contrast to his previous demeanor.

“And who are you?” one of the men spoke up, perhaps the leader of the group.

“The king of spades. I could probably take you all with ease, so you should probably let her go now.” The men laughed. Two of them came forward, the third keeping a firm grip on the woman.

“Let’s see what you’ve got, King.” His voice was dripping with irony. Ray cracked his knuckles once before making his first move. Showoff . The grins were quickly wiped from the men’s faces as the fell on the sand without much trouble. The third man tried to run but you were already behind him, a kick in his groin enough to loosen his grip, allowing the woman to slip away. She silently thanked you before taking off, wanting to get away from the fighting. You only then realized that you were now standing between Ray and the leader of the group, the other two men still groaning on the ground.  Standing in the middle of an ongoing fight, you began questioning how it always ended up so messy with him.

“Don’t worry, this’ll be over soon.” Ray flashed you a confident smile before launching himself at the lowlife. You pushed yourself out of the way, giving him some room to throw him on the ground, finally immobilizing him.

“See. My muscles are good for something after all.” He was smiling, but the fighting seemed to have taken a toll on him, considering he had been swimming right before this happened. A sudden feeling of guilt took over you.

After the men were carried off by the soldiers patrolling the area, you and Ray decided to rest a little before going home. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, still shaken by what had happened.

“Say it.”Ray finally broke the silence.

“What?”  

“You’re a good actress, but I know you well enough to know when something’s bothering you.” he turned to you, posture still relaxed despite the events of the day. You knew lying wouldn’t get through to him so you decided to be honest, considering keeping things was what got you in this situation to begin with.

“It was me who gave Seth the idea to give you a break. I just felt like I haven’t really seen you in a while…” Ray reached out, one hand wrapping around your shoulders.

“That was probably irresponsible. You have a duty after all.” You tried to smile, but you knew it was strained.

“I missed you.” His words were simple but they touched you all the same.

“Sure, I’ve been busy. I have a duty to protect these people.” You looked back at the sea, wondering when the two of you would be able to come again.

“But I also have a duty to you. I fancy myself to be a top tier boyfriend after all.” He cupped your face, looking straight into your eyes.

“Let’s do this more often.” You smiled, feeling like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“All right. Next time, try not to get into fights. It’s not very top tier boyfriend of you.” He laughed, kissing you like you were the most important thing in his life.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

#ikemen revolution #ikerev matchup #ikerev ray

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

#ask #sleepy #in living memory (fic) #in living memory #ilm spoilers #dead by daylight #Lisa Sherwood #Sally Smithson #long post

[mostlycompetentwriter]

It’s All About The Game (Part 3)

Pairing: OC X Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Genre: High School AU, Enemies to Lovers, Sports Fiction

Warnings: Smut and Language

Word Count: 12K

Summary: Changbin is back from his family’s villa and Kayda is surprised that the handsome boy is still interested in pursuing her. Kayda, encouraged by her new friends, is willing to try this whole dating thing. Unfortunately, nobody ever told her that turning down Seo Changbin for prom would turn into such a cataclysmic event.

August 

Life without Jisung is a summer’s day missing sunshine, clouds obscuring the crystal-blue sky with ugly gray layers threatening to fall at any moment. It was a lack of fresh air after being stuck inside a room watching the walls as they slowly caved in around you. A unique kind of pain that I felt deep in my soul because there is nothing to stop it from hurting.

A new academic year was right around the corner and I had not spoken to Jisung since last semester. He never responded to my sudden message back in June, leaving me to anxiously worry about him while I prayed to receive any form of communication to alleviate my concerns. At this point, I was willing to accept anything from him even if it was just one word sent directly to my inbox.

But those places where Jisung had left a noticeable absence in my heart were sternly occupied by Changbin, even if our summer together meant video calls and late-night text messages. Our relationship was still tentative, somewhere bordering between an intimacy shared between two people who considered themselves as more than just friends. A kind of relationship that I had never experienced before, but Changbin was surprisingly willing to give me space when I would ask, demonstrating himself to be a reliable confidant. Despite our rocky start together, I was now certain of my feelings for him. And without Changbin present over the summer, I was desperate for him to come home.

Of course, I don’t want to insinuate that Changbin’s friends weren't an acceptable company, inviting me to join them for dinners or to attend a movie together. But it wasn’t the same as being with Jisung and Changbin even as I tried to remain enthusiastic when Felix would randomly invite me out to play basketball. I’ve always been bad at hiding my feelings and I knew the others could pick up on my melancholic mood. 

Thankfully, Changbin had finally sent me a well-appreciated message promising that he was planning to return the Sunday before school would start.

From Changbin:

I’ll come by and see you, Reynolds.

I schooled my enthusiasm, patiently waiting on the porch steps until Changbin’s car finally came into view, rolling to a stop along the sidewalk. Resisting the urge to run down the driveway, I concentrated on keeping a neutral expression, allowing a genuine smile when Changbin finally stepped out of the driver’s side door. “Reynolds,” he said, voice achingly familiar as I eliminated the distance between us, falling into his open arms. His heart was beating just as fast as mine, synchronized to the rapid rise and fall of our chests pressed together. “I missed you,” he said, pulling back to attach his lips to mine, kissing me with an urgency I had never experienced with him before.

I was caught off-guard, but Changbin’s grip remained persistent around my waist, swallowing my protests as I gasped into his mouth. But Changbin always had a way of easing me into these new and imposing situations, leading me by the hand while he demonstrated with an eagerness that was practically infectious and impossible not to share. “Changbin,” I finally managed, breaking our kiss because I was starting to grow light-headed. “You should warn a girl next time.”

“Couldn’t help it,” he said, warm against the side of my neck. “You definitely should have come with me, Reynolds.”

I grinned, unable to resist his charms. “Maybe next time.”

“Do you mean it?” he asked, eyes wide as he pulled back enough to meet finally look at me.

“Depends on how well you behave,” I teased him because this was the special dynamic I shared with Changbin and his returning smile told me that I wasn’t the only one who was aware.

“Honestly, Reynolds, it’s not a big deal,” Changbin said, maintaining a firm grip on my hand as he pulled me down the hallway.

It was easy enough for him to say since he was used to the attention. “Everyone’s looking,” I whispered, blushing under the watchful stares of my classmates.

“Let them,” Changbin insisted, pausing next to his locker. “They’ll get used to it.”

“But I won’t,” I complained, silently encouraging Changbin to exchange textbooks faster. “What if they ask questions?”

Changbin snorted. “Really? Why does this bother you so much, Reynolds?”

“It doesn't,” I insisted, straightening my stance. “I’m just not used to everyone paying attention to me.”

“Well, they’re all a bunch of gossips,” he said, whispering directly into my ear as if unaware of the effect it would have on me. “Let them talk.”

Changbin resumed his hold on my wrist and the two of us walked to first period together, finding a pair of desks at the back of the room. I quietly pulled out my used textbook, dusting off the cover. Meanwhile, I had yet to notice the way Changbin was currently looking at me. “What?”

He tapped his pencil against the side of my book. “Where did you get that, Reynolds? It looks used already.”

“That’s because it is,” I said. “I bought it online from an older student.”

“You shouldn’t use that,” Changbin declared, snatching the book from me with precision, elbowing his new edition in my direction. “Use mine for today. I’ll just buy another one.”

“Changbin,” I started, hesitantly considering the book. “I don’t want you to pay for something so expensive.”

“It’s not that much, Reynolds,” he insisted, but I could definitely offer protest because I saw the price for a new edition on Amazon. “Besides, you’re the brainiac anyway. You deserve this.”

My cheeks heated at his words. “But it’s really nice.”

“Of course it is,” Changbin said, flipping open the cover before pulling off the lid to his pen. “And now it’s yours.”

I watched as he scribbled my name across the front page. It almost physically hurt me to watch him devalue the textbook in one fatal swipe. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Changbin insisted, expression warm as the instructor walked into our classroom.

I relaxed as the familiarities of the instructional setting eased me into a new lecture, complete with an impressive PowerPoint. I took notes diligently, ignoring the way Changbin would study me instead of the screen, chin propped in his upturned palm. I shook my head of the distraction because I had a shining 4.0 GPA to protect, a one-way ticket into the best colleges.

At the sound of the bell, I let out a deep breath while tucking my notes and Changbin’s expensive textbook into my bag. “I’ll see you at lunch, Reynolds,” Changbin said outside the classroom, holding me close for a moment longer than necessary. I waited until he was out of sight before hurrying in the opposite direction.

The front office was busy and I was growing impatient because I only had a ten-minute break before my next class. Still, my curiosity far outweighed the idea of receiving a late notice from my teacher. I was desperate for any information about Jisung, kindly asking the office secretary if she could tell me if Jisung was still enrolled. She offered me a bored nod, searching through the files on her computer while thoroughly testing my patience.

“Jisung is taking the semester off,” the lady informed me. “He’ll be back next term.”

“Really?” I questioned immediately. “Do you know what happened?”

“I can’t give out that information,” the lady said dismissively and I knew when I was pushing my luck.

September

Changbin and I settled into an easy routine. Since basketball had yet to start, the two of us often spent time at his house for hours after school. It was usually with great persuasion that I was able to leave at night because Changbin was growing more and more determined that I should just live with him. But I enjoyed spending time with Changbin even if it meant doing homework while he would (not so subtly) watch me from over the top of his textbook. In any case, I liked what we had together and Changbin was surprisingly nice to be around once he dropped the arrogant facade he insisted on maintaining for our classmates.

“What do you want to do, Reynolds?” Changbin asked me the moment we stepped inside his bedroom.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I have an essay due tomorrow.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Changbin acknowledged, lying across his bed with a sensual stretch. 

“Can I borrow your computer?” I asked him shyly because I hated asking Changbin for something like that, but the library was crowded during this time of day.

“Of course,” he nodded, eyes closed as if considering the possibility of falling asleep while I was working.

I switched on his monitor, waiting patiently for the screen to load. Changbin had a really nice computer, equipped with a hard drive that could load dozens of applications with ease. It was fun to multitask when I had the ability right at the touch of my fingertips against the raised keyboard. 

I relaxed in his office chair, thinking about the best way to open my assignment, when an obscene moan resounded through the speakers. I was immediately at attention, watching in horror as a scandalous video started to play right in front of my eyes. Almost immediately, Changbin was behind me, muttering a curse as he closed the browser with a resounding click! 

We were both silent as I continued to look straight ahead, unable to forget the images I had seen. “Sorry, Reynolds,” Changbin finally apologized, leaning against the side of his desk with obvious shame written across his face.

“It’s okay,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ve just never seen....that.”

“You’ve never watched porn before?” Changbin asked, appearing entirely surprised by such an innocent revelation.

“No,” I said, gaze dropping from his. 

“It’s not so bad,” Changbin said and I realized it sounded less defensive and more like someone trying to convince me.

“I mean,” I started, looking for the right thing to say. “I get that a lot of people watch it.”

“Yeah,” Changbin. “You know how we were talking about trying new things, Reynolds?”

I swallowed hard. “I remember.” It was a frequent topic of our summertime conversations.

“Maybe we could watch it together sometime,” he said, sounding more nervous than I was used to hearing from him.

“Really?” 

“Only if you want to,” Changbin said. “Just as a next step or whatever.”

Honestly, the idea of watching porn was so incredibly taboo to me that I was surprised I could still form coherent sentences. “Okay.”

Changbin considered me for a moment, eyes searching my own. “Okay.”

October

Basketball workouts had started early this year because my coach was more determined than ever to push our team to the state championships. Apparently, she had a lot of confidence in the new players she had recruited. But whatever the case may be, I was suddenly spending a lot of time in the gym after school, body sore as I forced myself to run an extra mile before it was time to adjourn for the day. 

On one such occasion, I was preparing my bag when I noticed that Changbin had entered the gym from the side doors, ignoring the envious stares from my teammates. I could see the perfect shine to his fancy docker-brand shoes in my peripheral vision. “Reynolds,” he said, drawing my attention.

“You stayed late?”

He nodded in response. “My parents are going out of town this weekend.”

“Oh?” I questioned absent-mindedly, zipping my bag closed.

Changbin cleared his throat. “I thought you could come over Friday night to uh-” he broke off as if unable to finish his sentence. I looked up at him, a silent invitation that he should continue. “Maybe try what we talked about before.”

I immediately caught-on to his implication, suddenly feeling far too flushed in the warm gymnasium. “Sure.”

Changbin nodded. “Is that alright?”

“Of course,” I assured him quickly, rising to my feet only to be met by his eyes suddenly very close to mine. 

He was looking for something and whatever he found must have satisfied him. He brushed a soft kiss across my lips. “6:00, don’t be late.”

Changbin answered the door far too quickly for my expectations, standing in the entryway looking absolutely handsome wearing jeans and a t-shirt. We both paused, staring at each other for far too long considering how bitterly cold it was outside. “Uh...” I swallowed hard, “can I come in?”

“Right!” Changbin said, stepping back to allow me enough room to squeeze into his house. “We can go upstairs,” Changbin added, reaching for my hand to guide me to his bedroom. His hold was appreciated because my legs were shaking and I felt a few seconds away from passing out against the wall.

“It’s warm,” I remarked, ignoring the obvious way he had set up his room, couch covered with blankets while his laptop was sitting atop the desk.

“Since you’ve never watched before,” Changbin started, getting right down to the matter at hand, “I just picked some of my favorites.”

“Okay,” I said because I didn’t know how else to respond to the idea of Changbin’s favorite porn videos.

“We can sit down,” Changbin said, already half-way to the couch before I could even blink. I followed him slowly, trying to relax against the cushions while he pulled his computer closer, typing in his password before the home screen appeared. “You can...just relax,” Changbin said, pulling up the first tab to a familiar scene and I quickly realized it was the same porn I had accidentally discovered on his computer before.

“Okay,” I managed again, wiping my sweaty palms against my jeans while the video began to play. And I visibly shuddered at the sight of the actors already undressed on-screen, the woman arched dramatically as a male knelt behind her. “This is fast,” I observed, glancing at Changbin briefly only to startle when I realized that he had been looking at me.

He moved away quickly. “It’s good though.”

I didn’t know very much about sex with the exception of the unforgettable health education classes in middle school and my mother’s half-hearted effort of talking me through my first menstrual cycle. Back then, the idea of maturing was especially horrible with the added pain of cramps and bloating. But what I did know, thanks in large part to curious research, was the very basics which quickly manifested themselves on-screen when the male actor started to hammer his cock inside the moaning woman, hips moving at a rapid pace.

Changbin swallowed hard, hand pressing against the hard swell of his obvious erection through his tight jeans. The actress on-screen let out an exaggerated moan and I blushed furiously, squirming next to him on the sofa that suddenly seemed far too small to handle the two of us. It was difficult enough to watch the video without knowing that Changbin, the object of my affections, was also aroused. The same Changbin that I had once dreamt about doing those exact same things to me and the reminder was enough to get my blood pumping, crossing my legs against the sudden heat.

I studied Changbin now, watching the way he pressed down against his cock straining for release. “That looks uncomfortable,” I remarked without much thought, only realizing my words when he met my gaze. His eyes widened slightly when he read my expression and I nodded my consent because I didn’t know what I was doing anymore, but I really liked the way Changbin’s entire body seemed to flush. I watched as Changbin managed to pull his pants down to his thighs, grabbing his cock free from the confines of his underwear, holding it with a tight grip as he fisted the engorged erection. And I couldn’t take my eyes away from the unexpected sight, studying his movements with an unblinking gaze. 

“It’s alright you know,” he said in a gruff tone, eyes wandering down to my lower-half. “If you want to do the same.”

I let out a shaky exhale, reaching down for the button on my jeans. What was I even doing? This went beyond everything that was expected of me, but the thought of touching myself was almost too much to resist, especially when Changbin had given me permission. I tucked my pants down to my knees, reaching into my panties because I wasn’t comfortable enough to go any further with an attentive Changbin sitting right next to me. 

Meanwhile, Changbin maintained a steady rhythm, fist moving up and down with well-timed movements. His gaze had moved from the screen to where I had tentatively started to slowly rub circles against my clit, head thrown back to remedy the weight of his attention. He released a groan that somehow sounded way better than the practiced sounds of the actors on-screen and I pressed down harder, aching for a release from the built-up tension permeating the space separating us by only a few inches. If I moved just enough, I would be pressed up against him, feeling the way his biceps flexed as his hand moved on his cock. 

The video on-screen was close to ending, and I sped up my movements, hearing a low grunt from Changbin who had managed to release sticky white semen across his hand. The visual alone was enough to take my breath away, circling faster until I felt the warning signs of my orgasm, closing my eyes to enjoy the accompanying feeling of divine pleasure from being stimulated just right. And when I reopened my eyes, Changbin was watching me as if he intended to never look away.

November

Changbin and I didn’t really talk about our unexpected pornography session, if that’s what we were to call it, but I had no time to linger on the subject. We were both suddenly busy, seeing less of each other as we both focused on our respective basketball tryouts. Because if there was one thing that Changbin and I shared in common, it was our commitment to the game. 

For this reason, I was completely unprepared to see Changbin in the parking lot, leaning against the side of my car. “Fully Licensed now, Reynolds?” he asked me with a smirk.

“Very recently,” I agreed, pausing in front of him. “Your practice ended hours ago.”

“I went out to eat with some friends,” Changbin said. “But I really need to talk to you.”

“Okay,” I said, nodding at him in encouragement. 

Changbin sighed heavily. “Tryouts are over this Friday. Wanna come over to celebrate afterward?”

I agreed easily, unaware of the evident tension in Changbin’s shoulders. “That sounds nice.”

“Reynolds,” Changbin hesitated and that was enough to catch my attention. “I want to ask you something.”

“Hmmm?” I encouraged him to continue, puzzling over the indecipherable look in his eyes. 

“When you come over...” Changbin started, “maybe we could try getting each other off this time?” 

I wasn’t expecting that, feeling my entire body stiffen at his intimate proposal. “Oh....”

“We don’t have to,” Changbin quickly added. “If you aren’t comfortable.”

But he was bad at masking his disappointment which might explain why I was so readily accepting when I nodded my head slowly. “Let’s do it.”

Changbin’s eyes widened, but a smile managed to break free. “Really?”

“You’ve been very patient with me,” I said with a shrug before mustering a look of total determination. “I’m willing to try.”

“You act like I’m asking you to do something impossible,” Changbin teased. “I’d never force you to do anything, Reynolds.”

He was always so earnest, and if we were to talk about things that were impossible, then saying no to Changbin like this was very high on the list. “When can I come over?”

Changbin leaned in closer, cologne heavy against his jacket. “How about now?”

I was a complete mess, moving constantly on Changbin’s bed while my boyfriend did his best to make me feel more comfortable. He brought me a glass of water at my insistence and even a plate of snacks that his mother had prepared. My fingers curled tightly around the glass while I reached for a handful of the little sandwiches that reminded me distantly of a fancy dinner show scene from a television series. It was a nice distraction until Changbin pulled his shirt off, messing around with his speaker to start playing music in the background. “It’s hot in here,” he offered in explanation and I merely nodded as I forced even more food into my already stuffed mouth.

“Do you have any homework?” I asked, trying to make conversation despite how obvious it was that Changbin was not interested in school, dropping a container of lotion onto the bed next to me.

“Not really,” he said.

“Essays,” I whispered, trying not to stare at his exposed chest.

Finally, Changbin joined me on the bed, tucking away our snack try on the floor before stretching out his limbs in a way that had me almost choking on my water. “Come here, Reynolds,” Changbin grumbled, and I let out a rather unattractive squeak when Changbin planted me on his lap, pressing our foreheads together. “This is better, right?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” I agreed, holding tight to his broad shoulders for stability.

Changbin reached down, thumbing across his belt. “Are you okay?”

“Mhmm,” I nodded, watching as he carefully undid the intricate clasp of his belt buckle, unzipping his pants before letting out a sigh. It only served to heighten my awareness, hands moving across the smooth, muscled skin of his upper body. He was quiet for a moment and I realized that he was waiting for me, eyes focused from beneath a curtain of brown hair. “I’m not sure what to do,” I told him honestly.

“You’re doing fine,” he said with a gentle kiss that was obviously meant to serve as reassurance, especially once his fingers made quick work of the button and zipper attached to my own jeans.

“Changbin,” I said, closing my eyes as I helped him pull down the waistband, grabbing onto him tightly as I carefully maneuvered out of my jeans, leaving me feeling far too exposed for my personal comfort.

“Relax,” he whispered, raining soft kisses across my lips while his fingers smoothed down my sides. “This is your pace.”

I nodded furiously, forcing myself to open my eyes when I felt his fingers latch onto my panties, tugging them down my legs with slow and practiced movements. A whine was muffled against his neck to hide my embarrassment, especially when his hands grabbed my ass to pull me closer. “It’s okay,” I said when I felt him pause, waiting for my permission to continue. 

“So beautiful,” he said, fingers delicately parting the folds of my throbbing sex, thumb offering a tentative stroke across the pleasurable organ.

“What about you?” I spoke into his skin.

“Watch,” he replied, using his free hand to direct my chin. I obeyed his request, keeping my eyes open when he reached into his underwear to pull his cock free from its confines, fully erect in his hand.

He tucked the waistband of his boxer short beneath him, stroking up and down in rapid succession. “But you’ve seen it before,” he teased, noticing the vibrant blush painting my skin.

“It’s different,” I said. 

He nodded in understanding, jolting me in surprise when his thumb began its slow circles around my clit. “I’ll take care of you, Reynolds,” he said, allowing me to tuck my head back in against his shoulder.

“So good,” I made sure to tell him, releasing shallow pants as I fought to control myself, focusing on the rough force of his thumb moving harshly against my throbbing sex. Occasionally, he rutted against me, reminding me that his cock stood waiting for attention, red and furious against his smooth stomach. I held my breath as I reached down to gingerly touch my fingers against the curious bead of white collecting at the slit of his cock. Changbin let out a harsh gasp, stilling my movements as his free hand came down to take a firm hold of mine, manipulating my fingers to spread out across his erection, directing them into a position he clearly liked if the ragged moan he let out was any indication. “Do it like this,” he said with a husky tone, moving the hand that now fisted his cock in delicate strokes along the full expanse of his throbbing organ.

“Does it feel good?” I asked shyly, enamored by the gorgeous flush to his cheeks, the beautiful sweep of his bangs stuck against his forehead. 

“It does,” he stuttered, obviously fighting to hold back as he continued to pleasure me in return. “Are you close?”

“I think so,” I exhaled, feeling the familiar symptoms of my impending orgasm take complete control over every rational thought raging through my head as I tried to keep a mental image of this Changbin permanently stored away.

“I want you to cum first,” he practically begged, looking at me with so much affection that I could barely breathe. 

I leaned into him more, encouraging his practiced movements as I allowed my hips to tentatively thrust in time to his strokes. Everything was hot and wet, an intimate exchange of precious oxygen as we both struggled to keep ourselves together. “I’m here,” I tried to convey, grasping tightly to the short locks at the back of his neck, fingernails digging in slightly as I rode out my orgasm with a barely restrained moan. My head fell against his broad shoulders, hand still worshipping his erection until I felt his entire body tremble against mine, something thick and warm leaking around my hand. 

December 

Changbin was absent from school the following Monday to visit a college with his family. But I took advantage of the unexpected opportunity, confronting Felix because he was close friends with Changbin. If anyone could be considered a reliable friend, then it would definitely be Lee Felix. But that still didn’t prepare me for the nonchalant way he regarded my question. “So what?” Felix rolled his eyes with a dramatic flourish. “You jerked him off, is that really a big deal?”

I blinked rapidly, surprised Felix was treating it so carelessly. “I’ve never done anything like that before.”

“Good, that means the awkward part is over,” Felix said with a wink. “Now, you can do fun stuff.”

“Fun stuff?”

“Like actually fucking,” Felix said and his blunt honesty nearly had me choking. 

“This isn’t what I meant by advice.”

Felix shrugged. “Most kids our age have already done way worse.”

“I guess that’s true,” I acknowledged, briefly considering the possibility that maybe I was overreacting. “When should we...you know...”

“Fuck?”

“Don’t say it out loud!” I whined, checking over both my shoulders to make sure nobody had overheard the two of us.

“Christmas break is coming up,” Felix said, pushing his lunch tray aside. “Why don’t you plan for something then?”

“Me?” I asked with a squeak. “How can I plan for something like that! I have no experience.”

“Well, Changbin insists on taking things slow,” Felix explained. “Which means only you have the ability to take your relationship to...that level.”

“What would I even do?” I asked. 

“Don’t worry,” Felix said with a smirk. “I can always help you plan.”

I grimaced at the idea. “Isn’t that too personal?”

“Changbin is one of my best friends,” Felix said. “You have nothing to worry about, Kayda. Just listen to me and everything will work out the way it’s supposed to.”

“Felix,” I said. “How do I even bring something like that up? When would I have the opportunity?”

“Bringing it up is easier than you think,” Felix said. “You just need to be more confident when you talk about those things. As for the right opportunity...” Felix trailed off as his eyes landed on my cell phone. “Come outside with me.”

“What for” I grumbled, but still obediently followed Felix into the picnic area next to the main parking lot. Felix was engrossed in his own phone, barely paying me any attention until he suddenly paused next to the fence. 

“Okay,” Felix said with a smug smile. “Any moment now.”

I frowned, waiting for further explanation until the ringing of my phone disrupted our conversation. “Hold on,” I said, holding up the screen so that he could clearly see Changbin’s contact name. 

“Perfect,” he whispered. “Answer it!”

I gave him a wary look but accepted the incoming call. “Hello?”

“Reynolds,” Changbin said. “I have a proposition for you.”

My entire face heated as I immediately misinterpreted his implications. “Wh-what?”

“My parents invited you over for Christmas eve,” Changbin said. “We always have dinner with our family.”

I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized Changbin wasn’t asking for anything too intimate, especially considering the last time I stayed at his house. But then, I immediately tensed when his request was fully processed in my head. His family? The idea of meeting another Seo was incredibly intimidating and I rightfully panicked as I put my hand over the receiver to explain the situation to Felix.

“Your opportunity,” Felix whispered. 

“But...it’s his family...”

“Yeah, but you can put my plan into action,” Felix said.

“You already have a plan?”

“I told you I would help.”

I was still hesitant when I told Changbin that I was fine with meeting his family. I was putting my trust in Felix who had proven to be a reliable source thus far during the short amount of time that I had known him. Meanwhile, Changbin’s resounding excitement was palpable, but Felix's accompanying look of mischief certainly did no favors to the steady thrumming of my heart.

Changbin’s house looked like an extravagant affair straight out of the Great Gatsby and I was Nick Carraway driving up in my shitty car that easily paled in comparison to some of the sports cars lining the driveway. There were people everywhere, standing outside in social circles while chattering with glasses of expensive wine, spilling out the front door with their gorgeous dresses and handsome suits. I already felt out of place and I still hadn’t killed the ignition.

I immediately pulled out my phone, pulling up Changbin’s name before bringing the device against my ear. “Reynolds?” he answered from the other end.

“Uh...” I cleared my throat anxiously. “I’m here.”

Changbin snickered. “Okay? I’ll meet you out on the front porch.” 

He hung up without another word even though I was only seconds from begging him to find a way to sneak me in through the back entrance. Instead, I tried for a deep breath, checking my hair briefly in the reflection of the rearview mirror. “Hello,” I bowed to a woman who had pulled in behind me. She blinked twice before turning away without any further acknowledgment. “Perfect,” I grumbled because it was exactly what I was expecting.

Nevertheless, I found the courage to navigate the crowd of guests to stand awkwardly on the porch by myself. At least, for the most part, Changbin’s family and friends were more content to ignore me. This was certainly fine by me because I definitely didn’t want the additional attention. “Where is he?” I sighed, standing on my toes to look for Changbin over the towering stances of the rich assholes who were intent on blocking my view. Finally, I spotted Changbin from the doorway, nodding politely at the people who stopped to speak to him. 

Changbin’s familiar smile eased my nerves as he eventually made a path to greet me properly. “Oh, wow, Reynolds,” Changbin said, eyeing me up and down as I stood on his front porch.

“It’s weird isn’t it?” I asked, fidgeting with the hem of the dress that Felix insisted I wear to the dinner.

“No,” Changbin immediately protested, reaching for my hand to pull me inside. “I like it.”

“Thank you,” I murmured quietly, suddenly all too aware of the sounds of intermingling voices emerging from the living room.

“I want you to meet my mother,” Changbin said, grip unwavering as we entered the maze of well-dressed faces conversing over wine and tasty finger foods being passed around on serving trays.

“Your mom?” I spluttered, wishing I had the strength to pull away from Changbin and hurry back outside where I the guests had the decency to simply ignore my presence.

“She’s been asking about you,” Changbin said. “I think she’s curious.”

“Really?” 

“Of course,” he said with a smile. “You’re my girlfriend.”

“Uh-huh,” I agreed, easily recognizing Changbin’s parents standing together near the fireplace. After all, these were the same people who I had unfortunately met when Changbin had rear-ended my car Freshman year which suddenly seemed like an entire lifetime ago.

“Changbin,” an elderly woman screeched, holding out her arms in a friendly demeanor. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“Since Thanksgiving,” Changbin gruffed, but still allowed the woman to squeeze the life out of him as if he was used to the treatment.

“And this must be Kayda!” the woman said, finding my eyes from over Changbin’s shoulder. “How are you, young lady?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” I said shakily, glaring at Changbin who was clearly mocking my stuttered response.

“Don’t be nervous,” the woman said, pulling me closer by my arm. “Changbin talks about you all the time.”

“He does?” I questioned, studying the boy in question who was now talking to his father, hands tucked away in his pockets.

“My grandson tells me that you play basketball too,” the woman grinned. “And that you’re very smart.”

I blushed at the compliment. “I try my best.”

“She’s a genius,” Changbin suddenly declared, tossing an arm around my shoulder. 

“So we’ve heard,” Changbin’s mother said and I felt myself subconsciously straighten my posture.

“We didn’t meet on the best of terms,” his father reminded me and I winced as I recalled the accident as if it had just happened yesterday. 

“I’m good friends with some of your teachers,” his mom said. “They’ve mentioned you before. I can only assume that you’re much brighter than you like to give yourself credit for.”

“Ah,” I laughed, pressing myself even closer to Changbin’s side because I was entirely dependent on his strength at that point. “It comes naturally.”

“If only Changbin could share your passion,” his mother sighed. “All he wants to do is play basketball.”

“Well, when it earns him a scholarship,” his father added and I could clearly see how proud he was of his son’s accomplishments.

“Are you hungry, Kayda?” 

“Maybe a little.”

Changbin’s mother smiled. “Binnie, take Kayda to the kitchens. We can talk later.”

Changbin’s arm was a helpful guide, pulling me along as I waved to his family members. I only glanced away once I realized we were moving upstairs. “Where are we going?”

“Do you want to go to my room?” Changbin asked and I immediately nodded my head. Changbin smiled, reaching for my hand before graciously excusing us from the crowded room of his relatives. It hadn’t been so bad, but I was still worried about embarrassing myself in front of the same people who controlled one of the country’s biggest enterprises.

Changbin’s room was a quiet sanctuary, and I made myself comfortable on his bed while he messed with the elaborate sound system connected to the generous speakers. Music began to fill the room, distracting me from the party still progressing downstairs. It was something familiar that Changbin liked, but I was too distracted to recall the name of the artist he deeply admired.

“What do you want to do, Reynolds?” Changbin asked as he joined me on the bed. I recalled my conversation with Felix from school, reminding me that this would be the perfect opportunity to explore his suggestion. Changbin must have noticed the way I nervously drew my lower lip between my teeth, catching me around my waist to pull me down on top of him. “Do you have something to tell me?”

“I want to try something,” I admitted nervously, looking down at Changbin lying pliantly beneath me on the bed.

“Yeah,” Changbin nodded. “Whatever you want, Reynolds.”

It was always so easy with him, but I still struggled to convey my expectations. I remembered Felix’s words, reaching down to run my hand down the front of his dress pants. Changbin’s eyes widened in surprise, reaching out to capture my wrist. “What are you doing?”

“Whatever I want,” I reminded him and he scoffed at my cheeky attitude.

“You know what I meant, Reynolds.”

“It’s no big deal,” I lied, and Changbin was quick to read through the fabrication, sitting up despite my faint protests.

“What’s going on with you, Reynolds? You know you can be honest with me.”

“I know,” I started, flustered beyond belief with the way he was looking at me. “I talked to Felix the other day...”

“Ah,” Changbin interrupted. “You don’t have to listen to him. He always thinks he knows everything.”

“But I liked what he said,” I insisted. “I want to try it.”

“Try what exactly.”

The words were still embarrassing even in my head so I whispered them into Changbin’s ears. Immediately, my boyfriend’s mouth dropped open in shock. “He said that?”

“As a suggestion,” I said, fidgeting nervously because of his reaction.

“You don’t have to, Reynolds,” Changbin said, delicately using one finger to lift up my chin. His gaze was sincere.

“I know,” I nodded solemnly. “It might be...interesting?”

Changbin chuckled at my choice of words, deft fingers already working apart the button and zipper on his dress pants. “We’ll see if you think it’s really interesting,” he said, pulling both his pants and boxers down to his ankles before allowing them both to fall into the floor.

“I want to,” I insisted, looking down at his exposed cock. 

“I’ll help you,” Changbin said. “But it might be easier if I was on the edge.”

I nodded frantically, moving into the floor while Changbin made himself comfortable, fisting his cock as he parted his thighs. “How should I start?” I asked him.

“You can just try the tip?” he said, clearing his throat when I abruptly leaned in closer, opening my mouth to wrap my lips around the stream of pre-cum steadily leaking from his slit. “Woah,” he gasped, both hands grabbing my hair tightly. “Easy.”

I ignored his warning, taking in more of his impressive girth, tongue exploring the taste of him. It wasn’t bad, but I certainly wouldn’t declare it as one of my favorite moments with Changbin. My inexperience was obvious, saliva dripping from my lips, focusing on breathing in through my nose since it was proving difficult with his cock in my mouth.

“Shit, Reynolds,” Changbin moaned and the sound almost made up for the bitter taste coating my lips. “You won’t hurt me,” he added, almost as an afterthought. “Just-just don’t use your teeth.”

I heeded his warning, but it forced me to hollow my cheeks. However, that seemed to only please Changbin whose hips stuttered in place, fingers providing an unforgiving hold on my scalp. I moved my head up and down his cock, listening to the advice he offered and trying to ignore the light-headedness that warned me that I desperately needed to breathe. I pulled off for a moment, inhaling fresh oxygen while Changbin maintained his hold, barely allowing me time to recover before he was encouraging me to swallow him again. Testing my limits as my nose brushed against his pubic bone, but it was far too much and jerked back in surprise when I felt him at the back of my throat. “Be careful,” Changbin said, sounding like he was completely out of breath despite the fact that I was doing most of the work. Still, it made me feel almost proud of myself to be affecting him so much, especially when I was the one who lacked experience. “I’m close,” he said. “Trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to swallow.”

I heeded his warning, pulling back from his cock to take in heavy breaths while Changbin reached behind him for a tissue, wrapping it around his erection before jerking himself to completion. Afterward, the two of us could do nothing but stare at one another in obvious wonder at the new discovery we had just made together. Breathing hard as the music continued to play in the background.

January

“My mother asked about you,” Changbin said with a grin. “You made a strong impression.”

The two of us were currently driving my car to the mechanic shop, an extra layer of jackets to compensate for my broken heating. “I did my best,” I said, adjusting my sunglasses slipping down the brim of my nose. “Everyone was intimidating.”

“That’s just because you let them intimidate you,” Changbin said, reaching for my hand across the console. “You never had anything to worry about.” 

“Easy for you to say,” I retorted. “You’ve been living with them for your entire life.”

Changbin laughed. “Okay, but I would be a good judge of character. Trust me, you were the star of the party.”

“Against Seo Changbin?” I gasped. “The most heavily recruited point guard in the state?”

“My accolades paled in comparison to you,” Changbin said. “My parents were thrilled when I told them what your GPA is.”

“Well, I guess that gives me more motivation to study,” I said, pulling into the empty parking lot of the mechanic shop.

“You can study with me,” Changbin pouted and I resisted the urge to lean over and kiss him when he looked so adorable.

“Let’s go inside,” I said, ignoring his question in exchange for the quaint little store attached to the mechanic’s garage. Inside, I found an immediate contradiction between my boyfriend and the shop that had been around since my dad was a kid. It was almost comical, how much of an outsider Changbin looked in the moldy shop, Gucci-toed boots scuffing against the linoleum floor in clear disparity. 

“This is the place?” Changbin asked me.

“We’ve gone here for years,” I said, walking up to the bored, middle-aged mechanic slowly flipping through a magazine.

“Name?” he asked in a monotone voice.

“Kayda Reynolds,” I said. “I made an appointment online.”

The mechanic sighed, reaching for the faded keyboard attached to the computer monitor that belonged exclusively to the 90s. “You’ll have to redo the form,” the mechanic said, irritation leaking from his tone. “Most of the information is incorrect.”

“I’m sorry,” I quickly apologized. “Is there a way to do it here?”

“We don’t keep forms in the office,” the mechanic dismissed me quickly, returning his attention to his magazine.

I was more than ready to head back home, deciding that my father would probably have more luck than me when it came to these things. But when I reached down for Changbin’s hand, I noticed that my boyfriend was glaring at the mechanic. “You have a customer here who needs work done. Why the hell does it matter if the form is wrong?”

“We require the information on the form for all appointments,” the mechanic said. “It’s written at the very bottom of the screen.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe you could still work on the car and she can send you the form later.”

“Changbin,” I said, tugging on his jacket sleeve. “Let’s just go.”

“How the hell do you even stay in business if you won’t work on the cars from paying customers?”

“Sir,” the mechanic rolled his eyes, “your girlfriend filed the report, not us. It’s not the shop’s fault if she can’t read the fine print.”

“Say another word and I’ll make sure you wake up in a hospital.”

“Changbin!”

I practically drug the incensed boy outside the body shop, planting my hands on my hips as I fixed him with a reprimanding look. “You can’t say that!”

Changbin glared in the direction of the shop entrance. “Those assholes shouldn’t be allowed to treat you that way. I told you to go to my guy.”

“I can’t afford that place,” I retorted.

“I’ll pay for it,” Changbin declared. “Hell, I can buy you a better car, Reynolds.”

“Changbin,” I sighed, “you can’t just buy me things like that.”

“Why not?” he asked, perfectly earnest as he appraised me.

“Because I don’t want you to,” I said. “This isn’t even a big deal, I’ll just have my dad take care of it instead.”

“Reynolds,” Changnin glowered. “They shouldn’t talk to you that way. I wouldn’t give them another cent of your money.”

“It’s okay,” I said. “Why are you so mad? I don’t even care about them. They always act that way, but they do decent work at cheap prices.”

“I’m mad because they disrespected you,” Changbin said. “Right in front of me! Next time, I’m taking you to my guy and I don’t want to hear anything about money.”

I was surprised by how upset Changbin was, so I quickly agreed with his request because I didn’t want to ignite his anger any further. Of course, I knew that my father could handle any future problems, but Changbin didn’t need to know that. Because he had finally allowed me to take his hand, slowly leading him back to my car.

Jisung returned to school for the beginning of the spring semester. I saw him in the parking lot, grabbing his bag from the passenger seat of his car. My first instinct was to call out his name and run across the parking lot like a scene from a melodrama to demand one of his familiar hugs. But I knew we stood on shaky ground, and I could only watch from afar as he walked by himself to the school’s main entrance.

I needed to figure out a plan to confront him because I was feeling increasingly desperate the longer I was forced to pretend like Jisung and I were just simple acquaintances. What happened to our vacation together during Christmas last year? With the exception of our shared kiss, I had never felt closer to Jisung, sharing intimate secrets and desires by the warm fire of his family cabin. But instead of growing our friendship, I could feel us moving apart in entirely different directions and it was nothing short of painful to watch Jisung ignore me.

What could I do to convince him? I wondered to myself, ignorant of my boyfriend’s impending approach until his arms were wrapped around my waist. “Reynolds,” he said, offering me a chaste kiss. “What are you doing?”

“Freezing,” I replied, deciding not to share Jisung’s return with Changbin. “Did you finish your math assignment?”

Changbin’s apparent look of guilt told me everything I needed to know. “We had lat practice,” he reminded me, but I was having none of his potential justifications.

“You promised,” I said, fixing him with a stern glare.

“It’s my last class of the day,” Changbin pouted. “Will you help me at lunch?”

I hesitated because I had planned to confront Jisung at lunch, but I suppose it was better to figure out what exactly I needed to say to him first. “Okay,” I said, groaning when Changbin pulled me against his side. “But you need to focus! You won’t be able to play in any more basketball games if your grades slip.”

Changbin sighed as if he had heard the same lecture before. “Look, I promise that I’ll do better.”

“For me?” I tried again.

“For you,” Changbin agreed. “Just as long as I get my reward later.”

I blushed at his tone. “As long as you behave.”

But Changbin was clearly pleased with how flustered I was, smirking in that familiar self-satisfied manner. “See? A compromise.”

I bit my tongue to hold back a sharp retort considering that Changbin probably had greatly misinterpreted what a compromise really entailed. But my boyfriend was in a good mood and he started chattering away about a tournament his team was participating in that weekend. Meanwhile, I was consumed with thoughts of Jisung, determined to restore our friendship.

February

I would never consider myself a courageous person, but right now, setting my tray down across from Jisung’s, I felt just like an action hero. “Jisung,” I said quietly, shivering when we finally made eye contact. “You don’t mind, do you?” For a moment, I briefly entertained the possibility of Jisung asking me to leave, but I was willing to accept the potential risks. Because this was Jisung and I desperately wanted him to be a part of my life again. “Sungie.”

He glanced up at the nickname, expression blank. “Did you need something?”

I bit my lower lip because it was clear that Jisung wasn’t going to make this any easier on me. “I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” he said dismissively. 

“Jisung, I don’t understand what I did wrong,” I said. “Tell me what’s wrong. I’ll do anything to make up for it.”

Jisung returned his attention to his tray. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve been ignoring me,” I said, swallowing down a whine. “I’ve been sending you messages.”

“I got them,” he said shortly. “I don’t know if you even realized, but I took last semester off.”

“Of course I noticed,” I said, offended that he would insinuate otherwise. “That’s why I was so worried. Ever since I started dating Changbin...”

Jisung stiffened at the mention of my boyfriend and suddenly everything clicked into place. “Are you mad that I’m dating Changbin?”

Jisung cleared his throat. “I don’t care who you date, Kayda.”

“Don’t do that,” I said sternly. “I don’t want you to pretend like you don’t care.”

“What exactly do you want from me?” Jisung bit out harshly, pupils blown wide with his anger.

I wilted under that rage, folding my hands together in my lap. “This is hurting me, Jisung. I just want my friend back.”

“You hurt me just as much,” Jisung retorted, sliding his lunch tray out of the way as he glared at me. “I really liked you, Kayda, and you just pushed me away. Now, when it’s more convenient for you, I get an apology?”

He was right, and I struggled for something to say. “Jisung,” I finally sighed. “I know you’re right. Look, I’m really bad when it comes to apologies. I can never figure out the right thing to say, but I care about you a lot and if I did anything to make you think otherwise, then I want to try and make things better.”

“It’s not so simple,” Jisung said, but his expression had softened. “After the kiss, I thought we might have something more than just friendship, but you insisted that day...” Jisung broke off, appearing conflicted as he shook his head. “Things got worse with mom and then she passed away over the summer. I was forced to take the semester off and I had to do it without you.”

I’m sure the tears in my eyes matched the steady waterworks filling the corners of Jisung’s beautiful eyes. “Jisung,” I managed softly. “I’m sorry things broke down between us because I would have been there for you over the summer. In fact, I’ll probably regret this for the rest of my life.”

Jisung tersely wiped away a stray tear, blinking rapidly as he struggled to compose himself. “It’s done, Kayda. There’s nothing left to regret.”

“Of course there is,” I said, reaching across the table for his hand. I let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t pull away. “I miss you a lot, Jisung. You’re very important to me and I’d really like it if we could still be friends.”

Jisung took a long time to respond and I allowed him every second to think because I was determined to win back his trust. Finally, after an excruciatingly long pause, Jisung managed a slow nod. “I miss you too, Kayda.”

I offered him a warm smile, curling my fingers through his own. “You want to come over after school?”

He nodded again, soft eyes meeting mine from across the table. “I’m willing to try again for you.” 

Jisung and I started to spend time together on the weekends, driving together through the countryside or reclaiming our former spot in my backyard tucked away beneath the trees. We talked a lot about Jisung’s mother and it was reassuring that Jisung appeared to be, for the most part, at peace with her passing. He was still obviously sad, speaking in a whispered tone when he talked about how hard it was to accept. 

“I should’ve been there for you,” I said.

Jisung shook his head. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath because it felt like everything was starting to return to normal. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“I don’t know,” Jisung said. “I might need a suit rental.”

“Why?”

“Prom is coming up,” Jisung said. “Even if nobody asks me to go, I still can’t miss out on my senior year.”

I shrugged indifferently. “I don’t care about prom.”

Jisung chuckled. “Yeah, but your boyfriend might.”

“I feel like Changbin could care less about a stupid dance,” I said. 

Of course, only in hindsight can I look back on my words and regret them because the very next day at school, Changbin approached me in the parking lot with his hands behind his back. “Reynolds,” he said. “Guess what?”

“Hmmm?” I acknowledged, busy shuffling through the notes I was planning to lend to a teammate.

“Hey, look at me,” he insisted softly.

I entertained his request. “I feel like you’re planning something elaborate.”

“Maybe,” he giggled and I narrowed my eyes because Changbin only ever got this way if he was feeling particularly mischievous.

“What did you do?”

He brought both hands forward, holding an impressive bouquet of flowers between his hands.  “Reynolds,” Changbin smiled, extending the flowers in my direction. “You should go to prom with me.”

I took the flowers since he was practically shoving them at my face. “Prom?”

“Yes,” Changbin agreed with a nod. “We have a lot to plan. What do you think about matching colors?”

I laughed at his enthusiasm. “Plan? Changbin, I don’t really want to go to prom.”

His smile vanished in an instant. “What?”

“I’m not that interested,” I shrugged, opening the door to my car before carefully laying the bouquet across the front seat. “You can always ask somebody else.”

Changbin was quiet for far longer than I was used to, but the way his jaw clenched spoke louder than words. “That’s fine, Kayda,” he said, shaking his head as he took a step back. “I don’t care.”

“Binnie,” I tried, reaching out for his hand but Changbin just ignored my attempts to pacify his anger, shoving his hands into his pockets before turning his back on me.

March 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

I glanced up at Felix in surprise. “Huh?”

“Why aren’t you going with Changbin to prom?” he demanded, foot tapping against the floor impatiently.

“What’s the big deal with all of you?” I grumbled. “I didn’t want to go to prom in the first place.”

“Kayda,” Felix groaned as if I physically exasperated him. “Of course it’s a big deal! You don’t understand how important this is to Changbin.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s just a stupid dance.”

Felix gasped. “The audacity!”

“Felix, I’m not in the mood for a lecture, okay? I’m telling you that it’s not a big deal.”

“Alright,” Felix sighed, disregarding all formalities as he sat down next to me. “I guess you need a reminder.”

“Reminder?” I repeated, already tired of the conversation.

“Do you know how hard it was to get the two of you together in the first place?” Felix asked. “Impossible.”

“We’re together now, aren’t we?”

“Exactly! And you’re clearly oblivious to just how proud that makes Changbin.”

“I wasn’t aware you were a therapist,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “I’m trying to eat in peace.”

“Kayda,” Felix said. “Listen to me, Changbin has wanted you for a very long time. And now that you two are dating, he wants to do everything that normal couples do, and that includes going to prom together. Don’t you know how ridiculous it looks for the school’s basketball star to miss out on prom!”

“I doubt Changbin cares about that,” I scoffed.

“But he does care about you, and in his mind this is like the perfect opportunity to show you off to everyone,” Felix said. “Prom has always been important to Changbin, and he was so excited to ask you to go with him.”

“Are you trying to make me feel guilty?” I grumbled, jerking my gaze free from the intensity of Felix’s scowl.

“No, I’m just trying to help my friend. I didn’t know that would mean reminding his girlfriend that he had feelings too.”

“That’s enough, Felix,” I snapped, pushing my chair back as I stood up from the table. “I don’t have to take this.”

I was a storm of rage on the inside, seeing nothing but red, when a familiar voice sternly brought me back to Earth. “What’s going on over here?”

Jisung was standing at the end of the table, glancing back and forth between Felix and me. “Nothing,” I grumbled, grabbing my tray and brushing past Jisung without another word.

But Jisung followed me regardless, catching up to me in the hallway after I deposited my tray at the counter. “Kayda,” he said, grabbing my arm to force me to stop walking.

“What?” I said, spinning around with my arms crossed over my chest.

“Why are you yelling at Felix?” he asked. “What’s going on?”

I sighed because it felt like everyone was trying to worm their way into my private life. “It’s just something with Changbin.”

“The thing with prom?” he asked.

“How did you know?”

“Everyone knows,” Jisung admitted. “I guess it’s like a big deal or something.”

“Felix told me that I made a mistake,” I said. “But it’s my life and he has no right to interfere.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jisung shrugged. “I saw Changbin yesterday in the parking lot. He looked pretty upset, and you weren’t glued to his side like usual...” Jisung trailed off as if waiting for me to fill in the gaps, but I determined not to give in this time. “Alright, look Kayda, I know what happened with Changbin, and I guess you’re probably tired of hearing about it.”

“Exactly!” I sharply retorted.

“Okay, but can you at least tell me why you turned him down? Do you really hate the idea of going to prom that much?”

“It’s not that I hate it,” I sighed. “I just don’t get why it’s such a big deal. I would honestly rather stay at home.”

“Even if it hurts his feelings?”

“So now you’re against me too?”

“No, no,” Jisung said, waving his hands around frantically. “That’s not what I meant at all, I just think you should consider that it might mean something to Changbin, even if it really doesn’t matter to you. Yeah, you might not like the idea of going, but it’s obvious that it means a lot to him. Maybe you should think about it that way instead of everyone turning against you.”

I froze upon hearing Jisung’s blunt honesty. “But now it’s like a whole thing and I don’t understand what’s wrong with everybody!”

“Well, if I know Kayda Reynolds, then I can only assume that this probably has a lot more to do with you being stubborn as opposed to refusing to give in to peer pressure or whatever you’re thinking.”

I considered his words, shoulders falling as I realized that Jisung was right. “I’m just tired of being told what to do.”

“I get that, but this involves more than just your feelings, okay?”

I hated that he was actually making a lot of sense. “So what should I do now?”

Jisung smirked, wordlessly pulling out his cellphone. “How do you feel about dress shopping?”

I pulled up outside of Changbin’s house, smoothing down my dress while trying not to trip on my heels as I walked to his front door. “Deep breaths, Kayda,” I encouraged myself, reaching out for the doorbell as I waited patiently on the outside porch.

I hesitated when the door finally opened revealing Changbin standing on the other side. “Reynolds?” Changbin immediately questioned me.

“Get dressed,” I said, glancing at the time on my phone. “We can still make it on time.”

Changbin didn’t move from his spot in the doorway. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Prom,” I groaned. “It starts in an hour.”

Changbin took a step back, clearly reeling from the encounter. “You want to go to Prom? I thought you insisted otherwise,” he said with a bitter tone.

“I’m sorry, Changbin,” I said, looking down at the sharp point of my shoes. “I didn’t realize how important it was to you.”

Changbin was silent for a moment. “So you just decided to show up here without calling me first?”

“I thought it would be better to surprise you,” I told him honestly, finally mustering the courage to meet his gaze. “If you still want to go. I’d totally get it if you, like, shut the door in my face or something because I probably deserve it after the way I treated you.”

Changbin’s gaze softened. “I’m not going to do that, Reynolds.” He sighed as he seemed to consider my proposal. “Give me twenty minutes.”

“I’ll be in the car,” I told him excitedly, thrilled that Changbin had opened up to my proposal. The next time I saw Jisung and Felix, I owed them a thorough extension of my gratitude. 

“You’re driving?” Changbin scoffed. “That wouldn’t have been my plan, but I kinda like it when you take control.”

“Well, hurry up,” I said. “We don’t have all night.”

“Says the person who gave me no time to get ready,” Changbin said, but his smile seemed to suggest otherwise.

“I prepared nice transportation for you,” I said while retreating down the stairs. “My dad’s car actually has heat.”

Changbin laughed. “Stop distracting me, Reynolds. I thought we were on a time constraint.”

“We are,” I said, reaching into my pocket for the keys. “I’m giving you time while I try to make things as glamorous as you always imagined them.”

Changbin didn’t say anything, far too busy leaving the front door wide open while he rushed to change his clothes. Meanwhile, I was ensuring that everything was ready, switching the music to his favorite genre and reaching down for the messy boutonniere that Felix insisted was mandatory. As Changbin had desired, I made sure that my corsage matched in color, even going out of my way to splurge on a ridiculous clip to wear in my hair. 

Jisung and Felix were both adamant that they help me plan for the occasion, and despite their annoying habits of perfection, I knew everything would only prove to benefit my night with Changbin. Even I threw away my usual inhibitions, spending more money on my prom dress than I would usually allow, especially since I was only going to wear it for this one occasion. I grinned as I thought about Changbin’s reaction. He would be the first to tell me that the money meant nothing because it was okay to indulge when the occasion was just right. Changbin always had that ridiculous sense of self-confidence that at one time might have infuriated me, but now I only saw it as another aspect of his character which I was unwittingly falling for with each passing day.

“Ready, Reynolds?” Changbin asked with barely concealed enthusiasm, fussing with his hair in the rearview mirror.

“Hey, you look fine,” I insisted, swiping his hand away before throwing the car into drive.

Prom might be a time-honored tradition, but that didn’t equate to the formalities that most people expected. In fact, the minute we walked through the door, I was greeted with the sound of some over-played pop song and a mirage of teenagers abandoning their high heels just so that they could grind on their partners. Well, I shouldn’t have anticipated anything different when it came to my fellow classmates. But this night was about Changbin, and I allowed him to drag me from couple to couple, talking with his teammates while I tolerated the envious glares sent in my direction from the masses of Changbin’s admirers. “Here,” Changbin said, handing me a plastic flute of punch. I took it gratefully, savoring the cool taste of the liquid as it soothed my hoarse throat. “Should we sit down?” Changbin asked and I nodded in agreement.

The two of us had been talking for hours, flitting from one person to the next like the social butterfly Changbin liked to be. We met Felix on the edge of the dancefloor, forcing him to take a break from what might have amounted to a stroke if the younger continued his dalliances. Felix was practically drenched in sweat, eyes wide with adrenaline. “Are you having fun?” Felix yelled at us with an unnecessarily loud tone.

Next, we found Minho and Hyunjin surrounded by a group of younger Freshman girls, soaking up the attention with smug expressions. “Laura,” Minho listed off, pointing to each girl in succession. “Katie, Amanda, Lisa...Amy?”

Finally, I convinced Changbin to give me a moment with Jisung. “Did you come alone?” I asked him.

“I came with a few other guys,” Jisung sighed. “But I think they abandoned me.”

“Poor baby,” I said, unable to resist squishing his cheeks between my hands.

“It’s fine,” Jisung whined, but I could tell he liked the attention. “Where’s your boyfriend?”

“He went to find us a drink,” I said, scanning the perimeter of the room. “Is it fun yet?”

“It’s alright,” Jisung shrugged. “But I think you might’ve been right about prom all along.”

I shrugged. “What can I say? If you go to one dance, you’ve been to them all.”

“I thought it might be different,” Jisung said. “Since the school actually paid for the caterer.”

“And the food?”

“Kinda gross.”

I laughed at his observation as Changbin joined the two of us with a drink in each hand. “Hi,” I grinned, leaning against his side.

Changbin leaned down to brush his lips across my forehead before offering Jisung a courteous nod. “How’s your night?”

“Interesting,” Jisung said. “I’ll see you two later.”

Which brings me to the present, perched neatly in Changbin’s lap while we took a break from the commotion in the empty lounge. My eyelids were growing heavy and I took the liberty of claiming Changbin’s shoulder as a suitable pillow. “This is tiring.”

Changbin’s arm tightened around my waist, bringing us even closer together. “I know you only did this for me.”

“Are you crazy?” I asked. “This is like...the most fun ever.”

“Don’t lie to me, Kayda,” Changbin said, fingers sorting through the mischievous strands of hair bothering my eyes. “I’m really glad we came.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, unable to hold back a yawn. “I wish I had more energy.”

“It’s cute,” Changbin said, ignoring my protests as he kissed me softly. “Thank you for entertaining me.”

“It’s my job,” I said. “But, if it’s okay with you, I might need to find a nearby audiologist because my ears are ringing at this point.”

“Let’s get you home,” Changbin said, offering me another kiss which I gratefully accepted.

April

There was a noticeable optimism following the events of prom, a sense of complacency settling amongst the student body. Despite the drama that offered a precursor to the evening’s events, I noticed that most people seemed happier, especially the seniors who would be graduating soon. This included Jisung who had managed to make-up his lost semester by promising to dedicate himself to summer school. In any case, the opportunity meant that Jisung would no longer be attending school with me next year and I was rightfully chastened by the thought of never seeing my best friend again, which is why I was determined to spend as much time with him as possible.

The two of us frequently liked to get together at my house, spreading out a blanket in the backyard like we used to do, laying together quietly under the steady influence of the warmer weather. “I like the spring,” Jisung said, stretching his arms above his head. “There’s always more sunshine.”

“Hmmm,” I agreed with him, distracted by the edging drowsiness eclipsing my ability to form rational sentences. 

“I got my acceptance letter today,” Jisung said. “If I pass my summer classes, then I’ll start Community College in the fall.”

I perked up at this information, opening one eye to glance over at Jisung. “You won’t be going far away?”

Jisung smirked. “Not at first. I plan to transfer eventually, but this seemed like the right start.”

“I’m proud of you, Jisung,” I said without a single ounce of malice. Those hard feelings between the two of us had dissipated like the morning frost chilling the discarded leaves decorating the grass. Instead, all that was left was a beautiful trust that cemented us together as equals in every sense of the word.

May

The end of the school year was growing closer with every passing day, and Changbin and I had started making a habit of spending time after school at the park. The two of us liked to walk the trails together, talking about whatever it is that we found interesting. This could be anything from Felix’s new girlfriend to the topic of Changbin’s conversation with a college recruiter who was more than ready to offer him a scholarship to play basketball. I was proud of him, but I was also wary of the impending topic of our Senior year and what might happen when we both graduated.

Changbin didn’t seem to notice my anxieties, talking openly about his dreams. “The dorms were pretty small,” he said. “I wanted to stay off-campus or something.”

“They won’t let you?”

“Freshmen have to live together,” Changbin grimaced. “I’m not sure I want a roommate.”

I grinned because Changbin acted every bit like the only child who was never forced to share with a sibling. “It might not be so bad.”

“Maybe,” Changbin replied distantly, silent for a moment before pausing next to the lake. “We’re going out of town for the summer again,” Changbin said.

“That’s not surprising,” I attempted to tease him, but it was difficult when Changbin looked so serious. “You leave every year.”

“Reynolds,” Changbin said carefully, watching me through cautious eyes. “You should come with us this time.”

His words were met with silence while I took a moment to admire the way the sun reflected off the smooth surface of the lake. “It’s your family vacation.”

“Yeah? Well, I want you to be there,” he said, tugging my hand as if trying to convince me.

But Changbin should know by now that it took little to convince me when it came to the school’s revered sports celebrity. “I’ll go.”

“Really?” Changing gasped, managing to look completely taken aback by my simple acquiescence. 

“It sounds like fun,” I shrugged, but I was hardly indifferent, especially once he leaned down to offer me a gentle kiss to seal my promise.

#mostlycompetent #stray kids #stray kids fanfic #seo changbin #stray kids seo changbin #seo changbin fanfic #changbin #changbin fanfic #seo changbin smut #changbin smut #seo changbin imagines

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (Dec. 21)

I postponed posting this for a while because I wanted to wait until the Fall 2020 season was over. Now, it’s almost Christmas. Some parts of the world are snowing, and as I feel the HUGE 2021 WINTER ANIME SEASON APPROACHING, I will reminisce about the anime that I will miss (or not).

Half of these aren’t even seasonal.

Anyway, I’m going to make some sort of “TOP ? ANIME OF 2020″ even though I haven’t watched half the seasonal anime I set out on watching HAHAHA!

Not Seasonal

As usual, I am periodically watching Gintama (which I’ve watched 106 episodes) and Hunter x Hunter (2011) (which I’ve watched 13 episodes), but I won’t finish those anytime soon. 

Gangsta (ON-HOLD - 3/12)

I feel like I have to be in the right mood to watch this, and I just haven’t been. However, I can’t say it’s a bad show at all. In fact, it’s quite good, especially considering that it was done by a studio that went bankrupt. Seriously, they closed up the season after this anime aired. Surprisingly, they’ve done a lot of good anime in the past. Samurai Champloo, Ergo Proxy, and some other ones.

Space☆Dandy (COMPLETED)

I was on and off in terms of dropping this. I didn’t enjoy a good chunk of the episodes because... a lot of them rely on fanservice. To be quite frank, this anime’s motives can be boiled down to being h*rny. However, some random episodes/segments are good. And the animation... the animation of the non-fanservice scenes are masterful. I’m actually going to dive into this a little bit to justify why I’m actually watching this.

Studio Bones is amazing when they commit themselves to an anime, and looking at the staff, you can certainly see that this anime will be fun to look at. It’s a spectacle. 

Sayo Yamamoto has done some incredible stuff in her career. Despite her role in Space Dandy season 1 being small (episode director of episode 2), I wanted to still cover her works. Her portfolio is massive, and she’s only 43. She did the storyboard for some really stylistic and unique openings like Arakawa Under the Bridge (both seasons), Kakegurui (which despite being heavily sexualized, is incredibly fluid and eyecatching even for me), and Psycho-Pass. She also did some storyboarding for the Attack on Titan ending and Samurai Champloo. Not to mention the obvious: She’s the director of Yuri!!! on Ice.

Shingo Natsume is a director for this series, and he has a lot of works too. For one, he was the director of One Punch Man season one which was really well-animated. He has also worked on some Masaaki Yuasa works, Gurren Lagann, and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

Last but certainly not least, Shinichirou Watanabe is also a director here, and even to someone who isn’t that versed in animation staff, he is incredibly well-known and skilled. He’s the director of many incredible works including Kids on the Slope, Zankyou no Terror (also the original creator), Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, and Carole & Tuesday (also the original creator).

There are even more amazing directors and contributors to this series, so rest assured, this anime looks good.  

But once you get past all the wonderful visuals, the characters are meh and the story is... not that good. The voice acting is great. Junichi Suwabe is amazing as Dandy, Hiroyuki Yoshino plays a good wimp as Meow, and Uki Satake actually surprised me because I haven’t heard of her really but she plays the perfect QT. This anime is like having great icing on the cake, but the cake is actually a cowcake.  

Zettai Karen Children: The Unlimited - Hyoubu Kyousuke (COMPLETE)

This anime is meh. Everything is meh. This was also done by Manglobe which went bankrupted shortly after Gangsta aired. The animation was alright. I thought this anime was older than it was because I wasn’t that impressed by the visuals. Cowboy Bebop looks better than it despite being almost a decade-and-a-half older. The voice acting was alright. I’m not the greatest fan of Kouji Yusa, but it’s mostly because I don’t like his voice. I’ve heard Junichi Suwabe portray other characters better because there was more substance in those other characters. The rest of the cast was forgettable. I didn’t even bother watching the parent series of this spinoff because it’s not needed, and after watching one episode of it, I wouldn’t be able to sit through the rest of it. There were some redeeming points to the story, but when your biggest plot twist is sticking out going, “LOOK AT ME, I’M A PLOT TWIST!”, you start to go, “I would be more surprised if they didn’t pull that plot twist.” And I guess it goes without saying, but the main guys do not end up together despite some of the hints they dropped. 

Another funny thing is that they put a disclaimer that “this is not based on real events”, but they put in a ton of references to WWII which can be... troublesome? I don’t know how to put it, but after watching Hetalia, I’m very apprehensive about any anime trying to portray real-life events like that.

Seasonal

Munou na Nana

Honestly, I found the manga better. The anime captures just a portion of the suspense and stuff that goes on in the manga, and the manga holds a lot more suspense. It’s kind of like how Junji Ito anime usually have a hard time. Horror is just like that in general though. It relies a lot on the psychological effect, and the anime just didn’t have it for me anyway.

[I also don’t like this show’s comedy and find it lacklustre]

Kamisama ni Natta Hi

You know how in my previous post I sensed this really going downhill? I was right! This anime got really shitty halfway through after Izanami’s dad had his touching episode. Next week is the final episode, but we all know half of Jun Maeda’s anime end off a cliff.

Tonikaku Kawaii

This anime got boring after a while. You know they did it off-screen. Puppy love is okay in small doses for me, but a whole anime about that and only that? It was... alright. I’m not the target audience, honestly. BUT, if you’re tired of stupid love triangles and misunderstandings, this anime is a breath of fresh air. Not to mention, it’s canon from Day 1. 

Ani ni Tsukeru Kusuri wa Nai! 4

This anime took no commitment, and some of the episodes were enjoyable, so I can’t say I wasted my time, but they truly only peaked in season one.

Jujutsu Kaisen

While I’m still not incredibly sold on the series, it’s really starting to take shape. The OP and ED are reasons to watch alone... and Gojo seems to be a popular choice for ladies who are into white-haired anime guys. Either way, it’s still a solid watch, but they need those character arcs to come in fast because the only thing I feel is really holding this show back is character depth (and I know they have it in the manga). The art, the voice acting, the music, everything else is there, and the story is, as I said, starting to take shape.

Maoujou de Oyasumi

I saved this one for last because this anime was so pure and wholesome, and it was definitely the biggest surprise of the season! I know some of the people I know are into those dating sims with the demon kings and whatever, but consider this demon king from this show. He’s an utter wreck, can’t be evil half the time, is a himbo, and you really wonder how they managed to keep their own castle together. The princess isn’t trapped in the castle with the demons, the demons are trapped in the castle with her. She commits burglary, assault, genocide, and mutilation is the name of a good sleep. Her name is also a pun on sleeping.

#dino watches anime

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

thank you! i think you're genuinely the only person that has ever said they actually like the fact that my bathrobe is obnoxiously pink. and you're absolutely right, one of the things i like most about it is that it hurts people's eyes. i love it actually. if you ever celebrate halloween you should absolutely add your bathrobe to your costume. an amazing idea. since it has a mouse face on the hood it could be two costumes rolled into one - both a vampire and a mouse (if in the middle of the evening you get bored of one), which i think would be awesome. and you probably wouldn't get cold (is it cold in nz during halloween? because here it almost always is). we don't celebrate halloween in lithuania either though. which i'm a bit bummed about, because halloween sounds super fun. mostly because of the dressing up! but i did celebrate it once, when i was 11 or 12 maybe? me and a couple of friends decided it would be fun even if it's not really celebrated here. so we dressed up, even went trick ir treating (half the houses had no idea what was happening and also i pretty much froze to death because i was dressed as a dead bride and refused to put a coat on because then you couldn't see my dress) and also watched horror movies. 12 (or 11) year old me thought it was amazing.

oh yeah! i've broken a knife on 2 separate occasions i think. once i tried to get something out of between the blender's blades, used a knife and then accidentally turned the blender on (i'm so fucking glad it was a knife and not my fingers). so the tip of the knife broke off (the blender was ok tho). and the second time i have no idea how it happened. i was cutting up broccoli and the knife just fell apart??? i was so confused, because one second i'm holding a knife and the next it's just two pieces of a handle and the metal part, all separate. had fun explaining that to my dad. you sound pretty unlucky too! i mean, a cut every time you use a knife, but you don't even notice it at the time? i think it's just that knives are out to get us (it's my newest conspiracy theory). i actually get double vision too sometimes! mostly when i'm tired, but i just figured that it was because i have really bad eyesight

they definitely SHOULD teach about gender and sexuality in school. it's a really big problem that in a lot of places it's either not compulsory or not even in the curriculum. honestly, everything i know about sex ed or lgbtq+ i had to learn myself on the internet, because we only had one class when we were like 13 years old with a guest speaker and it was mostly biology and then a little bit about menstruation and pads for girls (i have no idea what they told boys because we were also separated). so sex ed definitely sucks a lot in my country and i bet it's the same in a lot of others, which makes me really mad

exactly!! it's so hard to tell whether i'm feeling romantic or platonic love sometimes! it's confusing. also i remember one time me and a couple of friends had a sleepover and the friend's, who was hosting, parents weren't home so we watched romance movies (scandalous i know). again we were maybe 12. and they kept going "oh he's so hot" and intensely watching the sex scenes. while i was looking away from the tv whenever sexy times were going on and commenting on how much i loved the house design and the garden. gee i wonder what that means. (still can't believe it took me this long to figure out i was ace)

the breakfast went very well though! it's so interesting how different traditions are everywhere. i hope your lunch and the rest of christmas day went well too! (also i forgot to ask last time, but what is boxing day? google says it's mostly a shopping holiday, is it that? we just call it the second day of christmas and it's pretty much the same as christmas day but there's no presents!) but yeah i hope you had fun with your extended family on boxing day!

having acid reflux sounds like it sucks. i love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day (when i don't have to rush that is) and i skip lunch a lot because i usually have no time for it (my schedule kinda sucks), so i usually try to have a bigger breakfast. but hey, peanut butter is good! so at least you can have something that tastes good for breakfast!

aaand i feel like this ask got away from me. sorry it's so long!

it’s because i have t a s t e. it may not be GOOD taste but it sure is...taste...and i am proud of it. and yes, i love the idea of adding my dressing gown to my costume specifically because it means i’m basically in my PJ’s. minimal effort. comfort to the max. living the dream. halfway through the night i’m tired of being the vampire no one invites in so i drop to my knees and start the mouse act. mice are good at getting in houses and getting to chocolate and such. the dream. also i absolutely would get bored of one costume within the space of a few hours knowing me, so that’s a plus. uhhhh halloween is october which is. mid-late spring so it really depends on the day. it might be a little cold, might be shorts weather. I rarely leave my house at night so I’m not an expert on nighttime temperatures sdflsdfjsd. 

I used to wish we did Halloween here but that was mostly because I wanted lollies. Although I also liked playing dress up as a young kid so maybe very young me would’ve vibed with the costume aspect. I know there’s a photo of me when I was like, 5 and my best friend of the time dressed up as witches at some point, maybe we had our own little halloween. I also possibly had a halloween themed birthday party once as a kid? I remember the little gift bags having spooky things in them and also possibly a bat cake but my memory is too bad to remember for sure. aha that’s the problem here too, no one locally would ever think to buy lollies to give out so it’d just be like um. you can have an apple I guess? at least you had fun though! i respect the commitment to the costume despite the cold. 

that is such a stressful story to read, i fear for your life. although i understand the knife breaking in that first scenario. that would be terrifying though. what if the blender launched it,,, nOPE. i’m very glad it wasn’t your fingers, that’s some horror movie shit. the second time is just,, it be like that sometimes. it was probably just waiting to happen. my parents have a cheese grater with a loose handle and it. falls off. every time. i dry it. with the dishes. and every time i fear for my life as the grating bit drops off towards my feet as i’m left holding the handle. i should expect it by now but i never do. I get scared every time it happens. knives are definitely out to get us, i fully support this conspiracy theory. oh yeah, tiredness doesn’t help with double vision. i kind of need bifocal glasses by now but I also don’t want bifocal glasses so i just suffer but I suspect having them would reduce the double vision. maybe. maybe not.

yup! i remember someone handing out tampons and pads at primary school, i assume after giving a talk about periods, idk. i do also remember a teacher pulling the girls aside and being like yo, this is what a period is, here’s a horror story about my daughter and a tampon, enjoy the trauma, go back to class. good times. we did actually get really comprehensive sex ed concerning most things at my high school but that is faaaarrr from the norm around here, clearly. although teenage boys are good at filling in gaps, in my experience. they’re like little sex encyclopedias that offer up information without you asking. i didn’t ACTUALLY want to know that but i do now, i guess, thanks michael. 

dude. the ‘oh he’s so hot’ comments are so confusing. ‘hot’ is like a category of attractiveness that I’ve never understood. ‘isn’t he hot?’ what does that MEAN rebecca. i think i asked once if it meant like, attractive or good looking. and the person i asked was like, you know, hot. you just look at them and, you know- no i don’t know. what is this. i don’t think i’ve ever watched a sex scene with people my age though, generally i just zone out for them sdkfhskdfh. i feel like there’s definitely all these indicators when you look back like oh yeah, should’ve realised i was ace then, but it’s just. such a hard sexuality to figure out. not that other sexualities aren’t but you’ve got to figure out an absence of something when you don’t even know what the something feels like- it’s a challenge.

I’m glad it did! It is interesting, for sure. I’ve always been interested in how winter Christmas’s work. As a young kid I didn’t understand hemispheres...obviously...i was like 5...and i’d go out on Christmas morning to see if there was snow. and sometimes it’d be a bit chilly in the morning and I’d be like damn. we almost had some this year. it’s a shame our climate tends to be too hot for snow on christmas :// like no you tiny dumbass it’s summer you little idiot there will be no snow no matter what. everything ended up going super well here :). boxing day is basically just a shopping holiday, i don’t know if it has any significance in any other way, i’m sure it did at one point, but i know there’s always boxing day sales everywhere. I think it’s also a public holiday (?) to give people another day off work and that, but I could be wrong there. I know I also used to regularly go to the races (horse races) nearby that were always held on boxing day, it was like a 150 year old tradition or something until people in attendance started dropping and I think they finally shut it down a couple years back. I didn’t care all that much about the horses but they also had food and carnival-type rides and such for the kids which is why I loved it. also we tended to meet extended family there for a picnic lunch.

acid reflux is like the least of my problems sdfkjshdkf. it’s annoying but it’s pretty managed with medication, I have to watch certain foods and drinks but I’m used to it by now. I think it’s also what causes me to not be able to eat large amounts normally so I survive a lot on snacks and a reasonable sized dinner. works for me. but peanut butter is good! i’m glad i can have that! I used to also have vegemite but that’s a bit more of a push, it’s easier to stick with peanut butter.

also it’s fine!! my responses are always very long too sdfjhskdf.

#i got told i probably needed bifocals like #at LEAST 2 years ago #probably more #but realistically i'm probably too dumb to use them correctly i wouldn't look in the right place for close vision or whatever #i'd probably give myself a headache #also to this day i have never gone NEAR a tampon #the horror story gave me enough trauma thanks #anyway gonna go eat an ice cream sundae and suffer #might fuck around and make my lactose intolerance hate me haha #it'll be WORTH it #i say now #in an hour i'll be dying #it's fine #Anonymous

[furkanandiceng]

Furkan Andıç Milliyet Interview Translation (11.07.2020)

Everyone loves watching him in romantic series but he's a person who seeks balance in romance too... (While) his gaze, his lips (are impressive); Furkan Andıç impresses you the most with his attitudes when you meet him in person. Despite all the labels, a very warm and real person welcomes you. We met Furkan Andıç whom we started watching in Kanal D's new series Çatı Katı Aşk, a series that he describes as "the story of a family with high energy and expectations from life." During our conversation that started with his series where he seeks love in a rooftop floor this time, we talked about many things from his new passion saxophone to the increasing violence against women.

- You say “when I receive an offer, how much a project makes me curious is the most important factor that I consider while choosing one". What made you curious in Çatı Katı Aşk?

"Çatı Katı Aşk" is the story of a family who strive to live in the middle of a chaos and have high energy and expectations from life. This motivation makes the script a very powerful one and makes the viewers curious. Things start shaping up when Ateş and Yasemin share a house with a close-knit family after telling them a big “we’re married” lie. Looking from the outside, one always wonders what this kind of an adventure would lead to.  

- How does it feel to back on set after the pandemic?

The pandemic is going on as a really difficult period for the whole world. If we as a society continue being sensitive and thougthful and create a normal where everyone thinks and lives collectively, not individually, we can overcome this much faster. Life goes on and like all the other sectors, we are back to work too. I was out of town during the pandemic, which gave me the luxury to be away and calm that I had been seeking for a long time. It felt really good. But we’re now happy to be back to our routine. It sometimes feels like everyone needed to be by themselves so the universe gave us this right.

- You were “Kelebek’ed” the other day (Altın Kelebek Award)… Furkan Andıç is now someone people think of when it comes to romantic men… So, are you romantic?

Being romantic is a very relative character type and changes from person to person. I think it’s when feelings are put first and a person’s behaviors start being irrational. At that moment, our actions and behaviors take shape with the motivations that emotions create. But how long can it last? I’m sometimes romantic, and sometimes I’m really not. I think everyone is like that. A person who is always romantic can be boring to the other person. After some time, it may even lose its sincerity. The real thing is a balance inbetween. So I try to maintain that balance.

- When you talked about second chances, you said “A person gives that second chance to himself, not to the other person”. When did you last give yourself a second chance?

Yes, a person gives the second chance to himself. It’s a gamble of “Can I trust again?” It sometimes works, sometimes it doesn’t. I think people don’t easily come to a level of wanting a second chance from me. I pay attention to emphatizing with them, understanding them and reconciling with them as much as possible. We never see the breaking point. Honestly, I don’t remember the last time I did that.

- As an actor, do you ever feel like being stuck in a certain role or stereotype? Will you meet the viewers with a role that surprises them and maybe yourself?

I pay attention to enjoying what I do. Because it is a job that requires hard work and devotion. That’s why you need to be happy while doing it. If you’re someone who complains and have that stuck feeling you mentioned, then you may be stuck somewhere. I never felt so while working, but looking at TV scenarios, one can easily feel that. In “Çatı Katı Aşk”, I’m playing a character that I’ve never played before. It makes me very happy. The character is not snobbish but fun. He isn’t broken (by past love) but is actively seeking love, he isn’t a manager but a practitioner, he isn’t a boss but basically an apprentice!

- We now live in a new normal but we stayed at home for a long time because of the threat of coronavirus. How did you spend this time?

I took off from İstanbul when there were still a small number of coronavirus cases. I think it was the best move I’d ever done. Thanks to staying away in a quiet place, I got to be away from the horror of pandemic even if for a short while. I tried to keep myself away from the news, the people, the chaos. Like most of the people, I tried to use the chance of being by myself. I asked more questions and I listened to myself more. I also followed my precautions for returning to routine in a very disciplined way.  I may have got this from my mom. Many of my friends experienced it in a paranoid way. But of course, I took showers with bottled water several times too!

- Unfortunately, we’re witnessing the fact that violence by men is increasing in all parts of the society…  And the mothers raising them are quickly blamed for this violence… How much do you think the family factor affects the tendency to violence? Why can’t we stop violence against women?

Yes, unfortunately, it is a problem that has been all over the news with new cases for a long time and that is drawn more attention every day. I don’t know exactly if the number is increasing, if we see more of them or if the victims raise their voices more. But everyone needs to take action about this now. I think resorting to violence is an inferiority complex; no matter who it is. A pathetic behavior with which the powerful person thinks he wins. It is useless to blame the mothers for this. Of course, a person’s upringing is the leading factor for his personality development, but it isn’t the only factor. We are now in the age of access to information, an age when we can learn and be aware of almost everything before they happen to us. So, saying “I was raised this way”, “I didn’t know it” is unacceptable now. Everyone has to be respectful to each other so that we can improve as a society. It is the only way to overcome this problem. No one has the right to do this to another. It is a line that can’t be crossed. We as three brothers grew up in the same house and even in the same room. We grew up with love and affection; there was never violence in our family. This isn’t something that depends on socio-economic or cultural background. Love, respect and understanding. I’m one of the lucky people.

- You’ve started playing saxophone, is it a gift of the pandemic to you?

I actually started learning the saxophone before the pandemic. I spent most of the pandemic period outside İstanbul and didn’t have my saxophone with me, so I can say that the pandemic affected my playing badly. I keep working on it now, I hope I can give you a delightful music the soonest possible.

- How did you decide to play an instrument?

It’s something that I always wanted to do, but apparently this was the right time. I always thought that playing an instrument rests the soul and is sometimes a person’s best friend and I always aspired to play one. So I chose the saxophone because I like the way it sounds.

https://www.milliyet.com.tr/cumartesi/karakterim-patron-degil-resmen-cirak-6255805

#Furkan Andıç #FurkanAndıç #AteşAvcı #Milliyet #Interview #Translation

[tlbodine]

1970s: Exploitation Horror

The 1970s were a strange period in history, and that oddness shows through in the horror of the time. The decade is a grab-bag of content, featuring the rise of some of the best-known tropes and landmark films of the genre, but also some really baffling, awful movies. 

We decided to launch our journey through the decade by getting one of its most unnerving trends checked off the list early: the exploitation film. 

The death knell of the Hays Production Code and the moral gatekeeping by the 1960s left a period of cinematic anarchy. The MPAA would take a bit to solidify our modern rating system and lay out the rules for film content, so for a while the only real limitation on movie content was what a movie theater would play. These decisions came on a case-by-case basis, and so-called “grindhouse” theaters capitalized on it by offering the kind of shocking, low-brow, vulgar or otherwise unpalatable content other theaters wouldn’t touch. 

Thus, “exploitation” films were all about exploiting the tumultuous times in cinema. 

One popular genre to crop up in this setting was the rape-revenge movie. The basic formula: a woman is raped, left for dead, and returns to wreak bloody vengeance on her attacker(s). The plot provides an excuse to show both graphic sex and violence, which is like a 2-for-1 exploitation buffet and also incidentally the theme of this week’s film series. 

Analysis below the cut! 

First up: I Spit On Your Grave 

This 1974 film, written and directed by  Meir Zarchi, is probably the best-known and possibly best-made of the rape-revenge movies of the era. It’s also incredibly hard to watch.

The story is straightforward. Jennifer, a female author, moves to a remote summer home to work on her novel. There she attracts the attention of a group of men, including one mentally challenged delivery boy named Matthew. Matthew’s friends are assholes, and they goad him about the “crush” he has on this fancy city woman, and decide it would be entertaining for him to lose his virginity to her. So they, uh, harass her, physically assault her, and take turns raping her before leaving Matthew to kill her (he doesn’t, and lies to his friends about it, leaving her beaten but alive and thus able to exact revenge). 

There are several things about this movie that are noteworthy: 

It portrays the rape in the least-sexy, least-romanticized way imaginable. It is not titillating or exciting in any way. The rape sequence lasts for 30 minutes of film time, and they are excruciating to watch. There is no soundtrack, so you have only the flat silence punctuated by screams, grunts, and scant dialogue. The camera is often stationary, focused on the scene as an objective viewer rather than spending a lot of time cutting and zooming -- putting the audience in the role of helpless witness. 

The character of Matthew is interesting and, honestly, sympathetic. It’s pretty clear that he has the intellect of a child, and he has no real idea of what’s really going on. He’s goaded and pressured into participating, and he’s reluctant and tries several times to stop and escape. In a way, he’s a victim almost as much as Jennifer. 

The second half of the film is pure revenge fantasy. Jennifer is transformed. She is suddenly cool, calculating, physically capable, and able to deliver cutting one-liners. The villains, never the sharpest tools in the shed, transform into unbelievably stupid caricatures capable only of thinking with their dicks. Jennifer systematically seduces and murders them in increasingly violent ways. 

It’s probable that the film’s events are meant to be taken at face value, but I think a more interesting read on the story is that the second half -- the revenge portion -- is literally a fantasy. After the attack, we see Jennifer spend some time recovering physically, then piecing together the torn pages of her manuscript before sitting down to write. Perhaps, then, the revenge is happening on the page rather than in reality. Perhaps she has put together the pieces of her life and rewritten her narrative such that she can take control of her sexuality and work through her anger and grief and pain. 

Maybe it’s just the writer in me, but I think that’s a cool interpretation and one that makes a lot of sense in context. 

Either way: I Spit On Your Grave is an uncomfortable but well-made film that’s worth talking about. There’s a lot of controversy surrounding it even to this day (and it was a box office disaster, grindhouse or no), but I think on the balance it’s ultimately a feminist film, or at least a sympathetic one. 

Note: There was a remake and multiple sequels released in the 2010s. I haven’t seen any of them, but my understanding is they’re more over-the-top violent and sensationalized, and I can’t help but suspect that cheapens the brutal elegance of the original. If you’ve seen them, feel free to weigh in! 

The second film of the night was The Last House on the Left. 

Wes Craven’s directorial debut, The Last House on the Left (1972) tells the story of two teenage girls who run afoul of a gang of psychotic thugs who kidnap, torture, rape, and eventually murder them. The thugs then end up coincidentally at the house of one victim’s parents, who exact their revenge after discovering their daughter’s body dumped in the woods nearby and put two and two together. 

All I can say is: What the fuck did I just watch. 

I’d never seen this movie, although I was familiar with it by reputation. It’s famous, and I heard good things about its 2009 remake. What nobody thought to warn me about is the goddamn soundtrack. 

I can respect the artistic technique of pairing graphic violence with tonally inconsistent music as a way to create dissonance and cause audience discomfort. But that’s not the effect this had. This had the effect of causing me to burst out into laughter at the absolute absurdity. There is synth keyboard. There is banjo. Snare drum. A fucking kazoo. And it’s relentless, showing up to hammer you over the head and also drown out everything else that’s happening in the movie. 

Like, at one point, I seriously considered muting the damn movie so I could at least try to concentrate on the story because the music is so distracting and undercuts the tension at every possible moment. 

Music aside (and boy do I wish the music had been an aside), the film just...wasn’t great. The violence is comparably tame and lacks the visceral discomfort of I Spit On Your Grave. The villainous gang members are pretty much flat characters who seem like a bad parody of Sopranos extras. Even the parental revenge is bizarrely absurd, with the father opting to booby-trap the house in a Home Alone-esque fashion despite literally owning a shotgun and literally using the shotgun to threaten the bad guys. At least in the remake a guy’s head gets exploded in a microwave! No such fun here. 

Oh. And do we need to talk about the two bumbling police officers who end up running around town in a long-running slapstick gag? At one point their squad car runs out of gas because one of them is too stupid to fill up the tank, so they have to waddle around on foot and hitch a ride on the roof of a car loaded up with chickens. For. Some reason. 

Honestly, this movie was a disaster, and I’m honestly amazed that Wes Craven managed to make more movies afterward (and I’m glad he did, because they are much better than this). Sweet lord. 

I give you permission to skip this one. As far as I’m concerned it’s irredeemable. 

As a note, the movie is apparently a (very) loose adaptation/inspired by Ingmar Bergman’s The Virgin Spring, which was itself adapted from a 13th century Swedish ballad. Go figure. I don’t think I’ve seen it (although I may have watched a part of it in a college film class, because it does seem familiar) but I feel pretty confident that it’s a better movie so...watch that instead, probably. 

Or, if you can stomach it, check out one of the other many...many...rape/revenge stories from the 1970s and beyond: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_and_revenge_film

#rape #tw: rape #horror movies #horror movies by the decade #horror through the decades #i spit on your grave #last house on the left

[thefloatingstone]

Would you please make me a list of your rcommended comics(books or web-series any genre original content or fanworks)

Oh that’s a god one! Thank you so very much 💙 Let me see what I have on my shelf and on my hard drive. (I don’t know if I’ve ever made a list of my favourite comics before or not here on tumblr?)

in no particular order;

1: Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Sakai

I dunno if it ever really shows or not, but Japanese historical settings are something I’m really into! I think it’s one of those dormant interests that flares up every now and then. Anyway. Usagi Yojimbo has basically been tied for my favourite comic for over 10 years now. It’s a series of stories, both short and with longer arcs, following the character of Miyamoto Usagi (roughly based on Miyamoto Musashi) travelling around the country of Japan in the early 1600s as a Ronin after the lord he served was defeated and killed in battle. Usagi, being one of his samurai, is not killed in the same battle which, considering his lord was killed, is a massive disgrace in historical Japanese culture. Basically along the thought of “If your lord died and you didn’t you must not have fought hard enough to protect him.”

Anyway, the comic is both a history lesson on Edo period Japan, a travel diary, a slice of life comic, a Chanbara, an action comic, some times even a horror or ghost story, a tragedy involving unfulfilled love and lost families, a lesson on traditional Japanese Yokai and other mythology, and now and then high fantasy.

10/10. HIGHLY recommend. The author Stan Sakai is also a wonderful person I’ve had the pleasure to meet a few times at Comic Con. And considering he like... remembers who I AM despite being an extremely famous comic artist... I dunno. I have endless respect for the man and he’s shown me great kindness in the past.

Also you know... black and white comics. They’re my jam, yo!

2: Bone by Jeff Smith

I have no idea if I even have to say anything because Bone might just, without hyperbole, be the greatest comic ever drawn.

At 1300+ pages drawn over the course of 10 years, the story starts out as a cartoon, full of hijinks and fun adventures and jokes and very slowly, reality starts setting in, things get more dangerous, the stakes get higher, the bad guys much darker. And by the time you reach book 3 of the 9 book story, you’re suddenly in a story of the “epic” variety. Not in the internet slang term but in the actual definition of the word.

You have massive wars between men and monsters, you have clashing cultures and ideologies, conflicting motivations and goals, and of course saving the world.

And it manages to do so without you EVER feeling “Excuse me but this was a cartoon book about funny jokes. This shift in tone is really weird and doesn’t work with the cartoony characters.”

It just blends and grows beautifully. And has remained as my favourite comic for... *counts* lord... 14 years now.

The book was recently released in a new colour version in case you prefer hat, but I honestly recommend “The Brick” single volume black and white version. It’s cheaper, first of all, but also I cannot express how masterful the blacks and whites of Bone are. They’re essentially Watterson level.

(also Jeff Smith is ANOTHER comic artist who is just like... the nicest person. Like REALLY nice. He’s been kind to me on occasions in that “you really didn’t have to be that nice” kind of way)

3: The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck by Don Rosa

It’s published by Disney officially... but the Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is essentially a fancomic. The only reason its not is because Don Rosa became SO GOOD at making duck comics Disney hired him to make them officially and he was SO GOOD at it became one of the most important Duck artists just after Carl Barks (the creator of Scrooge) himself.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a comprehensive biography of Scrooge McDuck’s life, not just made up by Don Rosa, but pieced together from Carl Barks’ own comics where he would have Scrooge make passing mention to events in his past or people he met. Don Rosa essentially took all these passing remarks and mentions and drew out a timeline, starting with Scrooge age 13 leading all the way up to his reunion with his family when Donald as an adult met up with him again.

It starts with Scrooge, from a poor family in Glasgow in 1877, boarding a ship for America to seek his fortune. We follow him through the years as with each chapter, he comes close to being rich and successful, only for it to fail or fall apart at the last minute, until, eventually, we see him catch his break and become the obscenely rich and successful person he’s fought and worked and bled so hard to be.

...and then the comic continues. And we see him lose himself. Greed, the constant need for MORE money and MORE success keeps going. The need to show HOW rich and successful he is takes over, until we see him and his family fall apart. And the comic echoes Citizen Kane as Scrooge realises the best time of his life was when he was seeking riches, not after he finally succeeded.

And then Donald and his nephews appear, and Scrooge’s life gets a second wind. His lust for adventure flares up again, his need to seek fortunes and treasures burns as strong as ever. And he keeps going.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck is a story about looking for your place in the world and fighting to create it with your own two hands, but it’s also about how you should think hard where you place your value in life, and it’s never too late to re-direct course and try again.

There is also “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck Companion” which is a collection of stories that didn’t fit in with the original comic and would have disrupted flow. Basically like how a fanfic will have oneshots related to a larger story

Also, the producer of the band “Nightwish” created a soundtrack to accompany the original comic as a sort of “What If” in what he imagined the story would sound like if it was made into a movie

4: Cucumber Quest by Gigi D.G. ( @ggdgart )

A newer comic I stumbled upon which has skyrocketed into being a fave and I can already tell, that’s not a position it’s gonna relinquish. Cucumber Quest is a more cartoony and comedic story than the previous comics on this list. But that by no means makes it of any less value or dulls the moments that this comic decides to punch you in the gut with emotions HARD.

The art and colours are glorious and something I hope to study so I can better my own art hopefully, and the writing and humour is of a calibre that I just know I could not replicate it if I even tried. Full of puns, absurdism, awkward jokes and a whole lot of FEELINGS, It manages to make me both laugh myself into a coughing fit as often as it makes me yell “OH NOOOO!!!” when something dramatic happens.

The story follows our main character Cucumber, a put-upon out-of-his-depth wizard-to-be who is tasked with saving the world from the evil Nightmare Knight who has been summoned from his thousand year slumber by an evil sorcerer who wants to take over the world (as you do). With him is his little sister, the sword wielding Almond, who is WAY more into this “being a hero” thing than he is (and probably better at it too) as the duo make friends and travel to the various kingdoms to defeat the Nightmare Knight’s lackeys, working their way up to fighting the Nightmare Knight himself and sealing him away once more!

That all sounds.... really straightforward, doesn’t it? Well... that’s what everybody else in the comic thinks too. ...Shame that real life is never easy and straightforward.

From evil henchmen that start crushing on cool “Good Guys” with cool swords, good guys who don’t REALLY want to hurt the bad guys because they don’t seem so bad? To cool good guys with cool swords suddenly learning that being in danger is not as much fun as it sounded when they started this. To big evil final boss bad guys who are just tired of all of this...

What’s also awesome is the entire comic... all OVER 800 PAGES OF IT... is completely free to read online! But you can also buy physical copies of the first 4 volumes in book form to support the author! 

http://cucumber.gigidigi.com/cq/page-1/

I HIGHLY recommend this one too! It has canon LGBT characters! It has found family plots! It has scary bad guys that just need a hug! It has magical girl transformations! Literally anything you could want is in this comic. Including emotional wrecking angst! Did I mention FEELINGS???

(I couldn’t pick a single page so here are 3 random ones without context. Seriously almost EVERY page is so good I struggled very hard to choose)

-

-

5: The Property of Hate by @modmad

Hey. Do you like fantasy worlds made of imagination? How about protagonists with grey morality who act like super primand proper gentlemen when they’re actually huge nerds? How about reluctant “Well I guess I’ve ADOPTED you now you annoying gremlin” adult-kid relationships? How about puns? How about abstract and colourfull character designs? Or saving the world?

The Property of Hate is Modmad’s original comic that they’ve been working on a few years now. it follows our lead character, RGB or “Problematic Mary Poppins” as I like to think of him, as he asks a young child if she’d like to be a hero and help him save his world? When she agrees, he takes her to a fantasy land... completely NOT preparing her for what she’s signed up for. The story then follows the duo through the abstract and shifting world as RGB slowly divulges information on what exactly our Hero has to do to save the world. It turns out it’s a lot more complicated and messy than merely “beat the bad guy” or anything like that.

Not to mention it seems this fantasy world has its own rules of reality and dangers. Emotions and abstract thoughts have real physical form here, and something like an “idea” can quite literally run around and create havoc, while something like dreams can fuel or destroy, and emotions like grief can cause irreparable damage.

Our Hero also learns RGB himself is a lot more complex and messy than he first appears. Seeming to be a good person trying to do good things (despite being a little stand offish and rude at times) but seems to also be carrying a past and the weight of having done some very very bad things “for the greater good”. And our Hero, as well as we, the readers, start wondering how much we should trust him, even though, just like our Hero, deep deep down we just know we WANT to trust him. And maybe he needs saving just as much as the world itself does. Even when he’s at his scariest and... not quite himself.

The Property of Hate is also available online completely for free. Modmad does have books for sale but I believe it’s on-demand or something along those lines. Please feel free to message them here on tumblr and they are happy to chat to their readers and interact.

http://thepropertyofhate.com/TPoH/The%20Hook/1

I think I’ll leave it there despite meaning to do 10 at first because this is already EXTREMELY long.

Hopefully you found something that seems interesting! Let me know if you decide to check any of these out and whether you ended up liking them or not! I’d love to hear your opinions.

And thank you for indulging me <3

(I’m trying to remember to add my ko-fi link to all longer posts like this I make. Especially since I keep forgetting ☕️Buy me a Ko-fi ☕️ )

#lucymelonbun #C-Puff answers #Long post #image heavy #Comics #comic recommendations #comic recs #I added a read more to this post but tumblr ate it so whatever #thank you for letting me ramble about stuff I like #I feel better <3

[skriaki]

TOP 10 NINTENDO SWITCH GAMES 2019 - my arbitrary list!

Sometimes it's good to be proven wrong. I was pretty sceptical when the Switch was first announced, as it didn't seem too different from the Wii U's gamepad. Then I spent two years watching Nintendo enjoy a complete reversal of fortune, to the point of potentially amassing a more compelling library than Sony's or Microsoft's consoles. So that's how I quite suddenly found myself buying a Switch in October 2019, after having resisted the PS4 and Xbone for five whole years, and my free time has since been dominated by this little machine that defied the odds.

Some of Nintendo's business decisions can still seem inexplicable, but releasing a powerful handheld console that can also be docked with a TV at a moment's notice has proved to be an inspired idea, rather than the gimmick the Wii U's gamepad mostly turned out to be. And along with Nintendo's dependable series of top-notch exclusives, the Switch has enjoyed much better third-party support, which is how I ended up buying Dark Souls for the fourth bloody time just because the option to play it portably was too tempting to resist.

The Switch is the first console I've bought since the PS3 and for all Nintendo's quirks, there's a reason the Switch has dominated Christmas wishlists for three years running. Games like Super Mario Odyssey feel like full-size adventures that just happen to have a portable option, as opposed to handheld games you can also play on the big screen. This is the first year in a long while that I've actually played enough topical titles to justify a "games of the year" list, even if my recent Nintendo bias is pretty blatant.

So with that caveat in mind, and in no particular order, here's my entirely subjective list of the best Nintendo Switch games of 2019.

Luigi's Mansion 3

This is a franchise I'd always been curious about and can finally have an opinion on. The process of going from floor to floor of the hotel hoovering up ghosts and solving puzzles is pretty straightforward, but Luigi's Mansion 3 has so much polish and personality crammed into the cartridge. Luigi is immediately lovable as a determined coward, and each level has a wildly different theme that's realised with extravagant audio and visual flair, so progress always feels rewarding. Though this isn't true horror by any means, there can be an unsettling atmosphere and some of the bosses are pretty freaky. I officially love this oddball franchise and am desperate for a chance to play the story again in co-op. Unquestionably a first-class exclusive.

Doom (Switch port)

Not to be confused with the impressive Switch version of Doom 2016, this is the iconic Doom made cheap and accessible. While purists may take issue with some minor technical deviations, this is the first time I've got most of the way through Doom because the portability and *glorious* true dual-stick control makes this easily my favourite version. There's even a cheat menu for when I just want to mindlessly punch hell beasts. The main thing that ages Doom is its maze-like structure, but playing it casually experience alleviates that frustration somewhat. At a grand total of four pounds, this is a BFB (big fucking bargain).

Untitled Goose Game

You know a game is good when the only asterisk I put on my recommendation is that it *may* be overpriced. Untitled Goose Game took the internet by storm this year because it's the quintessential indie game: cute, simple and with anti-authoritarian undertones. As a horrible goose, it's your mission to cause havoc in an unsuspecting English village, interacting with people and objects to cause chain reactions of chaos. Some of the puzzle solutions are maybe a bit obscure, but 90% of the time just messing around with everything in the area will lead to a solution. Untitled Goose Game makes up for its brevity with sheer comedic charm, feeling much better-designed than a "lul so random" affair like Goat Simulator. A honking good time.

Terraria (Switch port)

I have spent literally hundreds of hours on the PC version of Terraria, so when I was broke after buying my Switch the new Terraria port was an obvious cost-effective choice. While the controls aren't as precise, the amount of time spent mining and sorting through loot makes this a great handheld experience. I can't comment on the multiplayer options but few games represent such a sheer value for money, as there's always a new cave to explore or a new boss to overcome. Time has been kind to this 2011 classic, grind notwithstanding.

Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair

While I personally enjoyed the original Yooka-Laylee, it was definitely flawed and I never seriously expected to see a sequel. But Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair launched quite abruptly and did a pretty spectacular job of upstaging its predecessor. All the previous game's half-baked feel has been replaced with clever design touches, like the equippable tonics which grant helpful abilities at the cost of a currency penalty. The titular Lair is actually the final level and available to throw yourself at right from the beginning, but beating it without first obtaining more hitpoints by completing other stages is incredibly hard, which is a great way to incentivize progress without denying more confident players the option of beating the game earlier if they can meet the challenge. Impossible Lair might be this year's biggest surprise, and despite a modest budget I think it's worthy of comparison to excellent 2D platformers like Rayman Legends. Just don't expect to defeat Capital B on your first attempt.

A Hat In Time (Switch port)

I recently reviewed A Hat In Time but at the risk of repeating myself, it's one of the most charming games of the last few years and an incredibly impressive crowdfunded achievement. Mario's offerings may be a grander technical feat, but A Hat In Time is a fast and fabulous journey through a series of weird and wonderful worlds that all feel distinct in content and tone. It's very openly inspired by GameCube-era platformers like Mario Sunshine and Psychonauts and it easily scratches that itch. Simply one of the best original platformers of this generation, and I defy you not to love Hat Kid's cheeky antics.

Spyro Reignited Trilogy (Switch port)

As someone who thinks the original Spyro trilogy holds up better than most early 3D games, I'd have actually preferred a simple port rather than a full remake, but The Reignited Trilogy is honestly impeccable. The updated visuals are gorgeous while maintaining the general style of those old, jaggy models, and very little of the gameplay or content has changed except for sensible updates like the ability to immediately warp between every level you've visited. Having full dual-analogue control is also an absolute godsend even for a PS1 veteran like me. Though Spyro may seem a bit basic these days when faced with modern platformer marvels, the Reignited Trilogy makes these old favourites accessible again at a generous price point.

Ring Fit Adventure

Yes, I have a Wii kicking around in a box somewhere. No, Wii Fit never held my attention as anything more than a curiosity. Ring Fit Adventure, meanwhile, is limited only by my cholesterol-encrusted heart and dislike of excessive showering. This is an honest-to-goodness attempt at making an RPG out of a workout toy, and the amount of polish put into the game's presentation and hardware implementation is pretty remarkable. Levels involve jogging on the spot and squeezing the ring accessory to collect goodies and overcome obstacles, and periodically you'll engage in turn-based combat where you use a custom selection of exercise moves to deal damage. It's a fantastic idea pulled off much more elegantly than it sounds. The ring accessory unfortunately makes this quite an expensive game, so it'll take a lot of regular use to get your money's worth, but I can honestly (and surprisingly) say that exercise suddenly becomes more compelling when it's presented as a light RPG adventure with anthropomorphic gym equipment encouraging you to take breaks and drink plenty of water.

Pokémon Sword/Shield

Disclaimer: I can only give my impressions from 25 hours of playing Pokémon Shield, so this is DEFINITELY not a full review. That being said, this is still an easy recommendation to existing Pokemaniacs and a good starting point for any new acolytes. While the core formula hasn't evolved (har har) much since the very first Pokemon, Sword and Shield still has a number of modern quality of life improvements that make previous generations show their age. I've had so much fun building a core crew of cute and/or badass 'mons in a weird Nintendo version of Britain, and the online features combine with a VASTLY improved random encounter system to make grinding far less of a concern. The wild area takes some getting used to, but it's satisfying to come back and capture the huge Onyx you had to run away from a few hours before. Even if Pokémon Sword/Shield has some technical blemishes and could have pushed the series further in some regards, it's still easy to see why this franchise has maintained such a beloved status for so long.

Red Faction: Guerrilla Re-mars-tered (Switch port)

Along with Dark Souls, Red Faction was a game I never even knew I needed on the go, but now I've got it I can't imagine ever going back. A cult classic due to its amazing destruction physics, Red Faction sees you leading a proletariat revolution on Mars, literally tearing down corporate monuments to free the working class from systematic oppression. The open world is a bit claustrophobic and the shooting isn't exactly mind-blowing, but there's a reason I've beaten Red Faction every couple of years ever since its original 2009 release. The Switch port does the game justice and if you set the difficulty to easy then this is one of the best rage-venting experiences money can buy. So yes, I recommend getting your ass to Mars.

#gaming #nintendo #goty #2019 #switch #nintendo Switch #game review #review

[justatiredghost]

Klaus woke up gasping, terror gripping him as he was overwhelmed by the screams of the dead, all clambering to be heard, voices filled with rage or terror or both. As if he could ever get away, he nearly scrambled off the edge of the cot before he realized where he was and what was happening, so instead he just sat there with his head in his hands.

Nothing particularly unusual about all that, he did it often enough, but what was unusual was the handsome man that was suddenly at his side, a hand tentatively placed over his own as he whispered words of comfort. Honestly Klaus was taken aback, usually everyone ignored his nightmares, writing it off as just silly Number Four trying to get attention. But of course Dave only saw someone in distress and Klaus was so shaken he couldn’t help but lean into him.

It was a little funny, Dave probably thought he was plagued by the usual nightmares of the war and while that was partly true, right now it was the screams of ghosts that were getting to him. But it did help somehow, when Dave sat close beside him like this, rubbing circles onto his back, voice low and calm so as not to wake the others. Something else to focus on, to ground him, and slowly his trembling subsided.

“You good?” Dave asked when his breathing finally became something close to normal.

“Oh just peachy,” Klaus said, disappointed that he didn’t sound as chipper as he wanted.

“It’s okay, plenty of guys have nightmares here,” Dave assured him and Klaus laughed, a shaky thing.

“Oh I’m sure they’ll just keep getting better from here but that’s not what woke me up,” he said, rubbing his temples, too tired and sick of the never-ending noise. War zones weren’t exactly quiet and the voices certainly weren’t going to stop. “The ghosts are just particularly loud tonight. Very chatty.”

There wasn’t really any point in keeping it a secret now was there? Klaus already knew he came across as weird, fucked up in many fascinating ways, seemingly muttering to himself when the ghosts got too pushy and he gave in and talked to them if only to shush them. But even without that he was quite the character and never toned himself down no matter the situation. It wouldn’t be long before the rumors started so why not just come out and say it. Besides, this was Dave and for some reason he wanted to tell him the truth.

Dave had an easy going calmness about him no matter the situation and he always gave Klaus the benefit of the doubt no matter how ridiculous he was being, he just took it all in stride. Dave had a quick wit and there was an intelligence behind those baby blues that told Klaus that he wasn’t so easily fooled whenever Klaus deflected with a blatant lie or a exaggeration. Then again, the truth of it all was far more bizarre than Klaus could ever have dreamed up so who knows if Dave knew what kind of puzzle he was piecing together even with all the little hints, like the foreign slang and Klaus’ sudden appearance in his tent that first night.

“You hear ghosts?” Dave asked, eyebrow raised, slight smile on his lips. Not the typical response Klaus was used to but he could roll with it.

“Sure do. See ‘em too. And they won’t shut up.” He hissed the last bit at a nearby ghost even if it wouldn’t take the hint. “Maybe they should get a hobby. Probably make the afterlife a lot more interesting too.” With a sigh, he rubbed at his eyes hard as if that might help. Instead it only made it worse, as if the dead were simply waiting in the dark and behind his eyelids. He opened them again quickly, staring down at his hands instead. “God I could use a drink. Or something stronger.”

He must have looked particularly shaken because Dave picked up the back rubbing again and it was ridiculous how nice that felt. Dave probably thought he was full of shit like everyone else did, but that didn’t seem to matter. Could Dave tell where his jokes ended and the truth began? Did it even matter? Klaus seemed genuinely upset and that was apparently enough to warrant Dave’s support. Why did this man have to be so fucking good?

“No alcohol here, but how about this?” Dave got up and Klaus tried not to think about how empty the space beside him suddenly felt. Thankfully Dave was back a moment later, a pack of cigarettes in hand.

“Ah, thanks,” Klaus said, pulling one out and Dave lit his lighter, holding it up for him. There was something weirdly intimate about it as he leaned forward and lit his cigarette.

“You always been able to see ghosts or is this a recent development?” Dave asked, lighting a cigarette for himself as well before tossing his lighter over onto his own cot.

“Oh god, wouldn’t that be a fun surprise, seeing ghosts for the first time in a war zone,” Klaus shuttered.

“I imagine it’d be a bit of a shock no matter where you are.”

“Fair,” Klaus said, chuckling as he took a long drag of the cigarette. “But nah it’s been my entire life.”

“Must suck,” Dave said when he seemed unwilling to share anymore information. Klaus didn’t exactly want to relive the horrors of his childhood, not right now anyway. He had enough to worry about as it was.

“Nah, it’s great,” he said sarcastically, throwing his hand out for emphasis as he leaned an elbow on Dave’s shoulder. “Lots of fun getting to see the mangled corpses even after the bodies have been taken away. Oh the good times I’ve had!.” Dave had his arm around his waist now, squeezing gently to give him some sort of silent support and Klaus took another drag of his cigarette. “I don’t even know what I’m still doing here, putting up with this shit.”

“I’m not sure any of us do,” Dave replied.

“No, I mean, I shouldn’t actually be here, I should just split, go anywhere but here.”

Klaus had found himself in a war zone, gunfire and death everywhere, but some cute guy had smiled at him and instead of getting out like a sensible person he’d decided to stay and see where things would go. How ridiculous was that? Was his connection to his old life really that flimsy? Or was he just that suicidal?

Then again, he’d already fucked up his life pretty spectacularly, no friends and a family that probably wouldn’t even notice if he wound up dead. Honestly they were probably waiting for it given the number of times he’d nearly ODed. And then there were the assassins and torture and the end of the world and maybe there wasn’t much difference between staying and going back. He’d likely wind up dead either way. It didn’t matter, nothing did.

“Would you?” Dave asked suddenly, pulling Klaus out of his thoughts and throwing him off completely. “Would you just leave?”

“Wouldn’t you, given the chance?” he asked, suddenly genuinely curious.

“I don’t know,” Dave admitted, looking around thoughtfully at all the sleeping figures. “When I came over here, I thought my life was over, and don’t get me wrong it’s been hell, but the people I’ve met?” he shot a meaningful glance at Klaus but quickly looked away again, bringing his cigarette to his lips before he continued. “In a way it’s like my life’s only just started. Looking around at you all— this war is bullshit but if I can help anyone, I guess I’d be okay with staying.”

Fuck, there was Dave being too good again. This was why Klaus hadn’t just immediately run for the hills. He’d found himself worrying about this ragtag group and in the end he realized he didn’t want to run away, not when it meant leaving someone like Dave behind. He made Klaus want to be the kind of person who would fight to help others too. Besides, it felt like he was a part of something here. They were all brothers in arms and Klaus already knew what it was like to be part of a team he hated himself for how much he missed it, but what can you do?

The briefcase was shoved under his cot and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t find his mind wandering to it in the heat of battle, pinned down by gunfire and deafened by explosions, or haunted by the bloody twisted remains of people begged for his help. Despite it all, he felt like he was actually making a difference. He couldn’t help the ghosts no matter the time period, but maybe he could help the living. And maybe someone actually wanted him around here.

“I suppose you’re right,” he said, but things were getting much too serious. “But let’s be honest here, I’m wasted in a place like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just look at me! These army fatigues don’t flatter my figure at all.” He was encouraged when Dave chuckled, bumping his shoulder into him lightly.

“You are an interesting man,” Dave said, smiling, a look in his eyes that made Klaus forget how to breathe for a moment. It was soft and fond and he never wanted Dave to stop looking at him like that.

“I have been accused of many, so many, things. Being boring is not one of them.” He winked. “But it’s so dull here! If we were back home, I could show you a good time, take you to all the best places to party. The ones I haven’t been thrown out of yet, of course.”

“Tell you what,” Dave said. “When we get out of here, you can take me to your favorite places, then I’ll take you to some of mine. I think we’ve earned a bit of partying.”

“Only if I can judge you for how lame your places are. I’m sorry but you can’t compete with the expert.”

It was an impossible dream, who knew if they were even getting out of this alive, but it was a nice distraction from all the death. And it won a laugh from Dave and really wasn’t that the point of all of this? Soon the sun would rise and they’d be forced to face another day of death and trauma, but Klaus felt a little stronger now. It all didn’t seem quite so overwhelming after these stolen moments together.

#the umbrella academy #Klaus Hargreeves #dave katz #fanfic #i wanted to explore why klaus didn't immediately leave #and why he and dave didn't travel to the future together #also I just wanted someone to comfort klaus after a nightmare because no one ever does and it makes me Sad #klave #my fic