#and i am alone

[rugwurm]

you let your callous be your shield

#myart #limbus company #ishmael lcb #oooh the sea crashes #and i am alone #with dirt and salt embedded in my heart #wont you hear the plead of the sailor

[whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump]

Warning for talk of real life suicide

I am having a really horrible day. And I am feeling really fucking hopeless.

My little sibling is the baby I’ve loved my whole life, the other half of my heart. They tried to kill themselves for the third time in two years. Not today. No, a fucking week ago. And nobody fucking told me. I only fucking find out because I got a fucking shared calendar alert.

They have been depressed for years and in treatment the whole time. “They’re doing much better now,” my parents said. But that’s the fucking problem. They’re always doing much better now. They have a job they love, a passion they’re pursuing, great friends, supportive family. But all it takes is one bad day. And before we even know something’s wrong, they’re gone. The first time they slit their wrists. The second time I found them with a noose. This time they OD’ed. I don’t know what they’ll do next time but I’m so so scared that will be the time it kills them.

They’re in a residential hospital now. My parents are hopeful. They’re always so hopeful.

I feel like I’m loving a ghost. Like it’s just a matter of time before they’re only a memory, because no matter what I do, how I try to change, how much I try to be there for them. They always tell me they’re ok. And they always do it again. Every time feels like it’s my fault. How could my love be enough if it’s not enough to save them? Every time my life explodes along with them, and then I get back on track, and then it fucking happens again.

I don’t know what to do.

If you’ve ever been like them, in a cycle like this, could you please tell me what helped you? I don’t know what to do.

#suicide #suicide tw #I have already cried all the tears I have in me #now I just feel numb #and congested #it doesn’t help that they’re all halfway across the world #and I am alone

[anthropwashere]

happy christmas to me my PIPES EXPLODED

#and i am ALONE #not enough towels to dealwith THREE FLOORS

[maddies-chronicles]

im so tired pls

#cant sleep tho‼️ #on public transport #and i am alone

[lunarw0rks]

john “big stretch” price

simon “make it fit” riley

soap “just the tip” mactavish

kyle “give me one more” garrick

#i feel as though i am wholeheartedly correct and will not share my research with any of you #but i am also half asleep and thought of this list ina cold sweat so LEAVE ME ALONE #!!! #mw2 #call of duty #task force 141 #mw3 #141 task force #141 #rachel speaks

[hajimedics]

I'M NOT YOUR DOLL AND I'LL THINK FOR MYSELF AND I'LL LIVE FOR MYSELF

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #eddie dear #senjart #so #so. SO! #SO ABOUT TODAY'S UPDATE. WELL. #WELLLLLL! #eddie is happy. eddie is happy! #so excited for eddie's lobotomy arc #I have many MANY thoughts about today's update. by far the best one I should say #so much implications of the situation the puppets are in #how sally is so.... harsh towards eddie #and we got shown him having an outburst when hes left alone and doesnt know what to do #like he's so underappreciated but. delivering mails and making papercrafts are all he knows #his reison de'tre #his depersonalization on the armchair during the advertisement segment AND how frank reacted to it #he dropped the ''mr dear'' pretenses and called him ''eddie'' in such a concerned voice #AND MY GOD. RED FLAGS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!! #PUPPET ON THE STRING THEORY REAL? SCRIPTS THEORY REAL? OR AM I JUST TWEAKING #HMMM HMMMMMMMMM #ANYWAYS I'LL THINK OF MORE STUFF TO ADD HERE ONCE IM NO LONGER SLEEPY

[coatntails]

#thanksgiving #harvest #holiday #lonliness #alone #I am with you #love from the other side of this series of tubes #reaching out to y'all #my lonely fam #rub a dub dub thanks for the grub #lets eat

[grungeprincess2]

Me and who?

#metal #metalhead girl #metalhead #i am alone #i am lonely #black metal #death metal #thrash metal #heavy metal #hell is a teenage girl #goth #goth girl #goth goth #goth guy #goth alternative #alternative #alt #alt girl #i need a boyfriend #or a girl #gothic #alt couple #goth couple #metal couple #goth love #boys with long hair #this is what makes us girls #pls talk to me #me and who #me n who

[rosieofcorona]

This Place Wants Us Dead (2024)

Prints

#I normally don't care if anyone zooms in on the details but I am actually on my hands and knees begging you to zoom in on this one #the fur alone took me like 45 hours #the terror #silna #tuunbaq #lady silence #I love her your honor #the terror amc #my art #finished works

[classichorrorblog]

10 Vampire Movies To Consider For October/Halloween

#Horror #Filmedit #Horroredit #Dracula #Fright Night #A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night #Habit #Horror Of Dracula #Interview With The Vampire #Let The Right One In #The Lost Boys #Near Dark #Nosferatu #CHB #10 Movies To Consider #I am not saying that these are the best or that they are my favorites. #Just 10 movies that I think are worth watching for the season.

[vagueconfusion]

Feeling real ridiculous for not having realized that Baron's "stark father" was the Nightmare King until now

#dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #also #love cassandra's gender situation going on here tbh #hell of an episode. i am totally normal about it (they are in fact. not normal about it at all.) #am willing to explain my thought process here if need be #there is a slight temptation to write something about the possible relation between cassandra and baron now though #did cassandra know that was where baron was like she could always summon kalina? #the creator and creation (the thing you made at your worst) #father and son (you can barely sustain yourself. let alone others) #you were once a god and then you weren't and you made this being and now you are a god again and it still exists #hmmmm #hm! #things to think. thoughts to ponder. #sorry i keep adding tags. i keep having Thoughts

[shuaaflower]

I‘m a burden for everyone. I’m even a burden to myself.

#tw depressing thoughts #alone with my thoughts #depressing shit #feeling alone #sad thoughts #mentally exhausted #mentally tired #sadnees #overthinking #self h@te #i dont want to be here #self h@rm #i hate everything #overthinker #tw selfhate #i am useless #im not feeling good

[crystallizsch]

sigh i had an epiphany

book 4 is just a whole ass scooby doo episode huh

#there’s even FIVE of them #no i am unable to elaborate further #im afraid if i do i cant go back #so this is for the ones who’ll get it maybe ;;; #also i’m never gonna be over the fact that jamil MIGHT have gotten away with it if he left the prefect alone #jamil my beloved you got too overzealous #[�� #twst #twisted wonderland #twst art #jamil viper #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #twst grim #twst yuu #★'-my-art #(💜) yuusha #—]

[buckleydiazmp4]

no but the thing is. they KISSED. on screen. it was a real scene, not deleted, not removed from a script, it HAPPENED in front of the world's eyes. and AND the actors are normal about it and the whole cast and crew is normal about it and it's not vague and it's IMPORTANT. no matter the rest of it and what came after it, it happened!!

#and i AM gonna say this in the tags to avoid too much controversy but #STOP COMPARING GOOD OMENS TO SUPERNATURAL THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT IN DOING THAT. WHY #why do you need to treat good omens as inferior to a show that was so fucked up. i love certain aspects of spn but #i would never in my life pit those shows against each other because they are nowhere near the same in ANY way #and guess what. i feel more fulfilled with the (CANON might i remind you) arc between crowley and aziraphale than i ever did with destiel #there. i said it and i WILL happily die on that hill alone if i had to #I LOVE WHEN ROMANTIC FEELINGS BETWEEN CHARACTERS ARE ACKNOWLEDGED AMD THEY DID THAT FOR FUCKING REAL #good omens spoilers #gomens #good omens 2 #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #david tennant #michael sheen

[hedgehog-moss]

Here are 7 little facts about my donkey and how his summer is going :)

1. I received an anon the other day asking if Pirou was still a working donkey who carries my firewood for me, and the answer is yes. I've been cutting some branches from the big cherry tree that fell down the other day, and Pirlouit has been valiantly carrying them to the woodshed—fun fact, for this activity he likes to wear his ears like this:

Probably because this T position is reminiscent of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, which is how Pirlouit perceives himself as he carries heavy logs for me. He's willing, but his martyrdom should be acknowledged.

Here's Poldine acknowledging it with a nose kiss, because Poldine.

I stopped so they could have their little chat.

2. Pirou has been chatting with a lot of new friends lately—we met these horses on a walk and he was so happy to stop and touch noses with them while making equid noises. Llamas are good with the nose-touching but their llama noises are just less interesting to Pirlouit. He had such interested ears here! "Finally a serious grown-up conversation"

We also met this goose during the same walk and Pirlouit was a lot less eager to go say hi to her. The goose was yelling threats at us and we prudently stayed away, and Pirou was clearly thinking "this bird is doing a better job at protecting her home from intruders than Pandolf ever could" (it's true, Pan assumes intruders are friends until proven otherwise)

3. You'll notice that there are houses in this pic! Our walks got longer and longer until one day we went all the way to the village (it took 1 hour 20min at Pirlouit's leisurely pace). I was so proud of him. I've been trying to convince my friends to go to the village on donkeyback (this requires two people, because you can ride Pirlouit but you can't tell him where to go unless there's someone holding his rope and leading the way)—my friends were reluctant because they still sort of perceive Pirou as the feral animal terrified of everything that he was when I got him. They know he's made a lot of progress but going to town on donkeyback still seemed foolhardy.

So we've been riding Pirlouit in the woods, in familiar environments, and we also went to town with him but without riding him. He was amazingly calm and brave! There's a river that cuts the village in two and the first time we went, we stopped before the bridge, since it's pretty narrow and cars would have to drive very close to Pirlouit, we didn't want to risk it. We just went to say hi to the librarian who lives on the right side of the river, but since Pirlouit was very serene, we did cross the bridge the second time.

He did not care at all about cars driving very close to him (he had one familiar human on either side of him and the drivers were very considerate and went slowly), which emboldened us to stop for a drink on the terrace of the coffeeshop on main street (< also a narrow street with cars driving by quite close to Pirlouit). There was just no problem at all, Pirou let total strangers rub his forehead and was more interested in iced tea than main street traffic.

It was a hot day and we gave him all the ice cubes from our drinks and he chewed them enthusiastically.

4. We made a stop at the pharmacy on our way home because we had another 1 hour 20min walk ahead and I had a blister, and the pharmacist noticed my donkey parked outside his shop and in a determined tone he said, "I want to try something." He took one of the donkey milk soaps from the overpriced-Provence-soaps-for-tourists display and opened the door and offered it for Pirlouit to sniff.

... I'm not sure what he was expecting—for my donkey to go "ohhh this smells like Mother's milk and aloe vera 🥺"—but unfortunately nothing happened.

(4. bis—Sorry, this 4th fact was anticlimactic.)

5. Pirlouit is now the proud owner of a surcingle. Not for equestrian vaulting and not for his log-carrying job because I don't know if it would be solid enough for the weight of a bag full of logs, but I'd like to tie bags or baskets to it to take Pirlouit grocery shopping, now that I know he's okay with going to town :) He even seems to enjoy the adventure, and the attention he gets from children.

And actually I shouldn't write off equestrian vaulting because Pirou is also remarkably chill with weird things happening on his back. I used to be very careful to climb on his back in a quick & fluid way so he wouldn't spook (because he used to! a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil used to spook him!) but now that my friends are riding him I can confirm we've reached a point where you can climb on Pirlouit's back in any way you want and he'll just be like "...... sure"

6. I almost forgot to mention that Pirou turned 15 last month, according to his ID papers :) Donkeys have a longer life expectancy than horses, they can live 30-40 years on average so he's still a young lad really. Happy 15th birthday Pirlouit :)

7. I wanted to conclude with a nice aesthetic pic of Pirou's shadow on the road during all those walks, like I did with Poldine, but unfortunately donkey shadows do not have the chic je-ne-sais-quoi of llama shadows. Pirlouit looks like a hammerhead shark wearing a tiny fez and that's not his fault.

#crawling along #i am so proud of him! #4 years ago i couldn't even touch him let alone halter him let alone... any of this #he's a great donkey. very curious and interested in the world around him especially iced tea bottles