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nijigay · 9 months

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hiiii :3 I noticed ur one (of a few) ppl who ships boniji on tumblr, and I wanna know if you know any accounts/artists who ships them so I could follow them to satiate my boniji fixation >.< Also, some bocchi x nijika questions I wanna personally ask: what songs do you recommend that reminds you of them? Also, what are some boniji fanfics you recommend/like? I probably already read most of their fics but I wanna know what others like. Lastly, ur personal boniji headcanons if you don't mind sharing... 👉👈

I only ask blogs rarely cuz I'm shy so no need to answer immediately...

I'm just brainrotting over boniji so much! im so normal about them (◔‿◔)

AWAWAWA i love boniji like so much like too much like its become my main personality trait!

but youre right!!! it feels like boniji fans are mostly japan natives and there dont seem to be many english speaking boniji fans! ohhh i wish there was more of a following! imagine a boniji zine in the west! i would pay money to get involved with that

im kind of embarrassed about shoving my ships in ppls faces all the time and this might get long and its just me like rambling about my OTP so like .. gona put it under a read more lol. seriously this post is like almost 2k words long thats longer than my average fanfic chapter

i hate to be a shill but im going to be a shill for my fic recommendations:

ive been working on a lowkey corny boniji hanahaki fic on AO3 and some other oneshots, so maybe you would be willing to check my own stuff out?? (if u want .-. im really amateur with this stuff despite being an art student lol) its been on hiatus for like half a year but im just adhd af and keep restarting. im still working on it frequently tho and im secretly hoping to start updating on a consistent basis soon. but i also liked fics like "Midnight and Daydreams" and "Bubblegum Detergent" and "A Sellout Night" and "Just Enough to be Enough" and "A Kiss is Not A Cure". MANNN i remember that last one fucked me up bad when it was posted. it was only the second ever dedicated boniji fic and like I LOVE angst but with how small the sample size of fics was at the time it was like AUFHAUIJKADGF. all those fics are super super good though! i also love the third one, i love the trans bocchi HC personally

umm as far songs songs tho, i guess the ones i associate with boniji most are:

"veil" by keina suda, i remember drafting some animatic for an angsty AU of Hitori living on post-Kessoku

"STEP&CLAP" by yoshino aoyama (aka yoppi aka bocchis VA <3), i think yoppi making the song speaks for itself but its a rly cute song and i love thinking of Hitori and Nijika like tap dancing to it?? check out the rest of yoppi's debut album too!! her voice is so pretty and i was so happy finding out that there are 11 songs with her voice, instead of the 1 from the anime

idk why but i also think of them a lot when listening to PMMM's ost by yuki kaijuri, like "desiderium" and "not yet" and "mada dame yo"? these r kinda a stretch though but idk!!

i also like compiling music that reminds me of them into spotify playlists, if youd like some inspiration for your own! this one and also this angstier one

i have a lot of boniji headcanons but i feel like its hard for me to like list them all in one spot because they usually come to me with context during relevant conversations?? but ill list whatever i can think of!:

this ones not necessarily boniji but i was thinking about it like an hour ago, but i really like the idea of Seika being a huge boniji supporter. like in the source material she already finds Bocchi really cute, so I get the impression she would really like to be an older sister figure for Bocchi (and probably gets jealous of Kikuri for holding that spot in Bocchi's life lol), and so Nijika being a potential love interest for Bocchi would make Seika double down hard on supporting boniji. she'd probably be the one who brings Bocchi up to Nijika more than Nijika would bring her up to Seika?? i also like to imagine that for Seika she has a similar complex to Yoyoko. but instead of "Bocchi is stealing my spot as Hiroi's younger sister figure," it would be "Kikuri is stealing my spot as Bocchi's older sister figure" LOL . if that makes any sense at all

this ones actually taken from a japanese twitter user, but they moved on from boniji after the anime ended. but they had some headcanons that REALLY stuck with me. my favorite was the idea that Bocchi and Nijika both have inferiority complexes with one another. iirc their (translated) words were along the lines of "Bocchi thinks of Nijika as a pure, comforting light in her life, one that could be muddied if Bocchi got involved with her. On the other hand, Nijika thinks of Bocchi as a reliable hero who outshines an ordinary girl like her." i just REALLY like it. it also reminds me of this conversation that Yoppi and Suzushiro had on the BTR podcast, about Bocchi and Nijika's first meeting! like nijika literally brought light into Bocchi's life awdsfsgdhgfjh

actually that same user above also made a tweet that is the reason why i associate Keina Suda's "veil" with boniji! they made a tweet about an AU idea, where, in the event that Nijika would ever pass away, Seika would give Bocchi her ribbon, which Hitori would wear from that point onwards as she continues to play music to honor Nijika's memory. they also suggested that in the opposite event of Hitori passing away, Nijika would possibly do something very rash out of despair but thats dark hahaha!!!!

i kinda think this goes without saying and i think its actually a fairly common HC for BTR characters in general, but I can definitely see Bocchi being trans

I like to imagine that shortly after Volume 2, Bocchi and Nijika would probably have another conversation

eventually, i'm sure if Bocchi and Nijika pursued a relationship that they'd eventually move in together (or like into the same room? if Kessoku Band had a sharehouse?), and since both Bocchi and Nijika tend to be minimalistic with their room decor, their shared room would again become filled with a ton of Ryo's clothes and items and instruments, like how Nijika's room at Seika's apartment is

i think they'd both end up being really touchy with each other, especially when nervous? Bocchi kind of already does this when she's in new places (eg bringing Kita to Shimokitazawa, or going to FOLT for the first time and being dragged by Nijika), but I think it would grow to them finding comfort with each other?

idk if this is necessarily a HC but i really like how Bocchi and Nijika emotionally support each other, even in source. Nijika is shown to have a really good read on Bocchi (to the point of Bocchi worrying that Nijika is actually a psychic), knowing Bocchi's common thought processes, and picking up from Bocchi's mother during her first visit to Kanazawa that karaage chicken can bring Bocchi out of her anxiety attacks, and seems to be the only character who actually comments on Bocchi's growth as an individual and actively tries to facilitate it; but she also doesn't lovebomb Bocchi with praise, striking what seems to be a good balance for pushing Bocchi but also being a reliable confidant for her too.

one of my favorite details from the anime that i really feel doesnt get talked about as often as it should is when Nijika finally notices that Bocchi is guitarhero! she definitely wasn't the first to notice (Seika noticed first, but it seemed like Seika only knew about guitarhero via Nijika. When she notices that Bocchi's playing sounds familiar, her thought process immediately goes towards wondering why Nijika isn't noticing, and then she just tells them to get back to work) but she was the first one that Bocchi admits it too. but my favorite part is how Bocchi says that she wanted to change and grow as a person before telling them the truth, and she says that she especially wanted to grow before Nijika in particular found out! its just really cute, i love how Bocchi was worried about disappointing Nijika. and i like how, after some growth, Bocchi's dream turns from "becoming popular" to "making Kessoku Band the best band it can be" which is like almost basically the same as Nijika's dream! and so it's really nice when Bocchi doubles down on that goal by not remotely entertaining the idea of leaving Kessoku Band, even when goaded by promises of popularity.

last headcanon! because i ran out of thoughts and just came up with this on the spot. but i also like the idea that as the years go on, Bocchi and Nijika in particular may kind of become more similar in personality. i mean, they'd definitely still be distinctly them, but i like to think that Bocchi would eventually start picking up more optimistic habits and stop grimacing all the time, while Nijika would eventually become a little more lax and not reflexively try to dismiss her own negative feelings via looking at the silver lining. i thought of that when Nijika kinda dismisses her family dynamics with her mother's passing and her father's neglect after Kessoku's first real performance, as well as Nijika seeming to admit after inhaling Bocchi Dust(?) during her and Kita's Kanazawa visit that some of her optimism is performative

ok another one Nijika seems to have her art skills commented on sometimes so i like to imagine she has doodles of Bocchi in her sketchbook (alongside everyone else but mostly Bocchi). like think of like Miles Morales drawing a ton of Gwen Stacy like that kinda deal but with Nijika drawing Bocchi. and like Bocchi finds the sketchbook and Nijika freaks out and Bocchi actually doesnt look bc she doesnt want to do something wrong. but then Ryo or Kita take it and look instead and then show Bocchi and Bocchi melts into a flustered puddle

wowwow this got long! sorry! i really mean it when im like OBSESSED with these two like i think ive thought about them on a daily basis ever since the episode aired where Nijika bought Bocchi a cola. isnt that cute, too!? she picked up on Bocchi's favorite soda so quickly! and her buying a box of energy drinks for Bocchi despite not understanding why at all! girlfriend behavior

i really really want to make more boniji content, i'd like to be more active in posting my fics and drabbles and drawings, someday soon. right now most of my boniji content is just illegible sketches in my sketchbook lol

also thank u so much for like sending this ask im like BEGGING internally all the time to be given the chance to talk about them! i dont think theyre like a rarepair or anything, especially with them seeming to be like the second most popular BTR ship in japan, but i do think that not many people talk to them in the english side of the fandom! theyre super super cute and have really good chemistry.

this entire post is probably like a total carwreck i hope its even readable

ill also use this post as an excuse to post my own HCs for a Kessoku Band's relations chart. it's a bonus for reading this far. i'm sorry for draining 22 HP from you with this brain dump

#can i tag this #IM TAGGING THIS #boniji #bocchi the rock!#headcanons #hitori gotoh #nijika ijichi #hitori gotou #uhh what else would i tag. ...#my fanfic is in this #i really. really really REAAAAALLY like boniji #bocchi wants a cosplayer gf and the next day nijika starts fuckign cosplaying #what a coincidence #crazy right #long post #under the read more

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royalwilmon · 21 days

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Hey hey, do you wanna answer 7, 13, 14, 37 for the writer's asks? :)

hey!!!!!! yes!!!!!!!!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

one thing about me is i haaaaate writing prose. i hate it!!!!! the way i would be such a more prolific writer if i could just write little chit chats and nothing else!!! BUT. necessary evil.

its a bit too long a passage to paste here, but there is a three paragraph section of chapter 2 of take any heart – take mine that i Love. i wrote it in an airport during a layover on my way to LA, haha. it's comparing GIANT ships being able to somehow float in the ocean to how wille feels being around simon. wille is carrying so much weight and trauma from his past but with simon he was still feeling like he was being lifted up, even though he was sure he'd sink. it makes more sense in context but. idk, i thought it sounded very pretty

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

me??????? listen to writing advice????????? i dont know about that. haha, honestly i think a lot of people say to Just Write. words on paper, just do it. i spend a lot of time "writing" just staring at the page overthinking sentence structure that doesn't Really matter when i could be actively writing. it's something im still working on and still struggle with but its definitely good advice. just DO IT

OH and just knowing its okay to ask for help if you need it. i need help a LOT. its good to know there are always people more than willing to be a sounding board for tough ideas. or, like. people who can write orgasms for you when you dont wanna do it ;)))) (im talking about lili, lili writes orgasms for me when i dont wanna do it)

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

i dont know if anything is really the "worst" writing advice because i think different things work for different people!!! i know what works for me and i know what doesn't. like, anything that involves writing something start to finish and Then going back to edit? i could never. i dont know, though!! i appreciate all advice, even if i don't really listen to it ever haha

37. Talk about your current wips.

oh my god THANKFULLY its really only tomt now. which!!!!!! i'm so so so so so excited for and will gladly talk about all the time always. i've been having so many really excellent conversations with kate and lili about some of the stuff i've got coming up, and good GOD i'm sometimes just really struck with how what's published of this fic is really just the tip of the iceberg. really just SO much is involved in this story, i'm just getting started.

to talk about chapter five a littleeeeee bit... i am very excited for 'tip of my tongue' to finally officially meet sage. i've never reallllly had an OC before this fic (and now i have like, four, which is wild) so developing them has been a massive learning curve but i'm very happy with their arc and, y'know, what their presence in the story means for wille's arc. there is so much THERE to sink my teeth into, just. a storyteller's dream, i think.

(please ask more questions!!!! <333333)

#inquiries #ask game

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kiyterra · 2 years

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Wait so Civilian AU Bruce doesn’t know Jason is back, but do the other batkids know? What would that be like for them, not being able to tell their dad that their brother is here and kinda fucked up but alive? And I’d assume that Jason can’t really hold too much of a grudge against Bruce since Bruce wasn’t really involved, so why doesn’t he come home? Is his anger at Batman shifted onto someone else? Nightwing, maybe? I have so many questions ummm sorry for being annoying anyway this is living in my head rent free.

Also how does Bruce react when any of the kids get hurt? Like, really hurt? What does he even know about the events that surrounded Jason’s death? What’s it like for Jason to know that his dad has literally no idea what actually happened to him?

Okay that’s it for now but uhhhh I’ll probably be back. Okay. — @ghostinacardboardbox

(hey so i decided to move blogs back to my main @terracyte! please feel free to follow me if you wanna keep up w any new art cause ill be hoppin back over there <3 im just answering some loose anon asks here before i go, ill tag any other asks on my main when i get to them!)

heyy so i answered most of these questions in some earlier posts already! but ohh the one about the kids really getting seriously hurt-

they would definitely try to hide it, and they would beg steph to help them with makeup coverup but theyre no good at it at first, and they forget they have it on or they end up wincing anyway, so they have to tell bruce they decided to join some super rough sport at school-

"no yeah, this bruise on my knee? yeah i got it, uh, i got it playing uhhh...frisbee. yeah the team's aim is really off we're working on it."

and bruce is just. still so concerned cause he's willing to overlook things sometimes but hes NOT stupid. but his kids just refuse to tell him what's really going on and it breaks his heart a little cause what if they still don't trust him after so long? but for now, for everyone's sake, he'll let it go just this once. until he can't anymore.

#thank you thank you for the ask hope to see you around soon on the main blog <33

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actualbird · 2 years

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Hi, I'm the anon who asked about the new Looming Nightmare card! I saw the content warnings, and I was like, oh it's this kind of story.

While I like my share of whump, I think I'll skip the card since it doesn't really tie into much of their actual relationship from the looks of it, but if you're willing to give a rundown of the story, I do enjoy reading your analyses. If you wouldn't mind, of course.

Thanks!

hi anon!! and....yep.....Looming Nightmare is.....That Kind Of Story JHVSKJHF

and same same, i LOVE whump but this card is just really....

well, i'll answer ur question with a more detailed summary of what happens in the card as well as some of my thoughts below the read more!!

do not proceed if u dont wanna be spoiled!! for general content warnings of the card, check out this previous ask i answered

now...

this summary will be a bit rudimentary and might leave out some tinier details since i watched the card like, almost an entire year ago. but heres what happens

the story starts in a fantasy setting au kinda thing and luke talks to some travelers in the woods. he's looking for mc, his lover, who had gone missing

luke and mc grew up together and started a relationship eventually, but then luke was conscripted into the army as a knight for a few years. during this period, mc sent him many letters but he was not allowed to reply. before he left, he promised mc he'd come back the moment he could, but when he did come back, she was no longer at their home

luke learns from the travelers that theres this big terrible dragon somewhere just destroying villages and kidnapping young women (? i think?? again, not very sure about the details) and luke thinks this dragon had taken mc from their home

so he journeys to the castle where the dragon is currently residing at and then takes shelter first at a nearby cottage. there, he meets a faceless NPC fortune teller and it's revealed hes met her once, before he started his journey looking for mc. back then, the fortune-teller told luke that the price of his journey could be Everything he is, or something along those lines. in spite of that, he still went

now, the fortune-teller tells him that the dragon will be weakened during the solar eclipse which will happen soon. at that moment, it will be the best time to kill the dragon. she also mentions that the dragon has this treasure box of stuff in that castle and thats the thing the dragon values most

anyhoo, luke goes to the dragon and---after a long and dangerous battle where he himself got injured a whole lot, im p sure at some point he was sure he was gonna die but he kept on going for mc---he landed a fatal blow on it. he then goes to the castle, searching for mc

and there he finds nobody at all but he does find the treasure chest and inside, he finds a mirror. in the mirror, he sees mc and her life after he left. due to the fact that luke could not reply to any of her letters, she thought he had died and left her village to go look for him and she grew more and more hopeless as the years went by. the mirror then shows mc picking up the mirror itself, crying, and when her tears hit the mirror, she was transformed into the dragon

the dragon that luke just killed

luke rushes out of the castle and the dragon had transformed back into mc. and shes quite dead, sporting the same wounds luke had inflicted on the dragon earlier

and just when ya thought it couldnt get worse!!!

the fortune-teller from earlier returns and tells luke that she can revive mc, but the price is his own life AND all of mc's memories of him. she will live but never even know he existed

luke, of course, takes this deal. and then he kills himself

and then over these two dead bodies, the fortune-teller reveals herself to be a witch! and doesnt revive either of them

THE END

BUT WAIT

it was all just a dream

mc wakes up and shes back in the canon setting, shes in luke's place and she had fallen asleep and had that Entire Terrible Nightmare. luke asks her if she had a nightmare, and she says yes, so he sings to her to comfort her

THE END (REPRISE)

so! thats what happens in looming nightmare generally!! of course, theres a whole bunch of other details i probably missed/forgot, but yeah

and as to why i didnt rlly enjoy it....

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER THAT EVERYTHING FROM HERE ON OUT IS MY OWN OPINIONS

see, the first time i watched it i actually thought it was okay. like, it fucking ripped my heart out yeah, but it was an Okay Story. but then the longer i let the story sit in my brain i realized that....no actually the entire story is hinged only upon misery that doesnt serve a narrative purpose.

like, i LOVE whump!! i LOVE stories where luke goes through hell, but not solely because hes going through hell. i love it cuz the conflict, hardship, and pain either adds something to his character, adds to the dynamic hes got with characters around him, lets us know something new about him or others, or maybe the hurt leads to comfort and then that comfort lets us learn more about the luke's vulnerability, emotions etc etc.

basically, i love (and to a certain degree, expect) angst in a story to actually serve a purpose. i want the Hurt to actually do something other than just Hurt. cuz if it just hurts, im like.....what was the point?

this is especially pronounced in this story cuz the story isnt even "real". it was all a dream, a dream that mc didnt even get to discuss with luke. i would have been extremely interested and wouldve had a better view of this card if it involved a scene where mc talks about her nightmare. that discussion could tackle so much: mc's intuitive knowledge that luke would go too far if it meant she would be safe, mc's own abandonment issues surfacing in the nightmare's plot, etc

but...that didnt happen. what we did get was luke singing which, i'll admit, is adorable

but adorable isnt enough to save a story that didnt rlly have a point jahvfjkahsvfkjashfa

#breaking news: local luke stan 'zak actualbird reptilianraven' rips into his least favorite luke card KASJHFVAKSJHFA #anon #asks

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risingsunresistance · 1 year

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ough ive not spoken for some time but . 1. im curious ur takes on finnegan and all of the stuff that comes w him:0

2 ive decided to snap n ask abt . any advice to do w doing crystal nucleus,,

ive not been playing as much sb lately bc . busy . but aa id like to say . im near 500 commisions finally hehe and im a bit pffput as i decided to not collect from my minions until a mayor w skill exp multiplier appeared but apparenly theyre gonna nerf minion skill xp ? augh i couldnt get info abt it besides jus someone saying it but . if so thats kinda tragic </3 -crenshaw121

finnegan is fun!! i'm a freak that actually enjoys collecting pelts so i liked having him as a mayor lol. ALSO THE 10% INCREASE ON JACOB'S CONTESTS IS HUGE that's gonna be VERY helpful in trying to raise the cap for farming 60. the cultivating/math bonus is surprisingly helpful too! i didn't think that one would make a huge difference but getting gold in a few more contests was pretty easy bc of that

about the skill exp, this is a FUTURE plan. possibly wayyyy in the future, but we can't be sure when they'll decide to test it. it was mentioned in the 1.0 design thread, which is currently unfinished. it's not a 100% guarantee it'll even be happening, the thread is open to community feedback and everything will likely be playtested on alpha too

i'm gonna assume your question about the nucleus meant completing a nucleus run and not just general advice on what to do in the hollows itself, so that's how i'm gonna answer. if you have any other questions feel free to send another ask... also this got long so i'm putting it under a read more 😅

biggest advice i can give is just ask for coordinates! most of the time people are willing to give them out. if they don't have any, use a wishing compass to try and find the structure. you can get them pretty easily from chests. if you're having trouble finding the chests, try to familiarize yourself with some of the rooms! set chests always spawn in the same places in rooms, but you can also dig up chests randomly from the hardstone (less reliable if you don't dig REALLY FAST). and if you need any compasses and i'm online i'll gladly give you a ton. i uh... i have a lot of spares i keep for friends

every once in a while a lobby might spawn without a structure or with one of them glitched (i've had so many chunk errors in the mines of divan...) so if that happens just hop lobbies. if you find one with all 6 structures relatively easy to reach, consider sticking around! having the tunnels already dug out and all the coordinates listed down is very helpful in getting runs done faster

okay so actually DOING the nucleus stuff. for amethyst... i have no advice. just learn the parkour as best as you can. keys are pretty cheap, but if you're on ironman or something you'll need to find a key guardian or odawa to get keys for runs. topaz is an easier one, bal loses health based on the amount of hits done NOT on the amount of damage done. hit it 100 times with any bow and get out before you burn 👍 if it's been defeated recently, you don't even need to fight. you can just click the crystal and get it. no advice for jade, it's free but annoying, and the time it takes to complete is up to RNG. amber can be easy if you know where the king is. after you've found the king (there's two chests in his room btw if you need goblin eggs, one above him and one below him), the queen should be VERY close by. using a compass should get you to her, so once you've found the king it's pretty much a given. i recommend doing this one last bc the king's scent lasts 20 minutes (unless you touch water), so if you're fast you can just run back to the queen and take the crystal again immediately

and sapphire is the harder one just bc getting robot parts is annoying. if you buy all of them, it'll cost you around 1m coins. this is Fine, you'll probably make it back from the loot in the run anyways, BUT if you wanna farm robot parts ahead of time that can cut down costs. you can farm automatons with high magic find bc they always spawn in the same places in the lost city, OR if you're insane like me and have a lot of powder and hotm6, you can upgrade mole and great explorer and get parts out of chests while mining hardstone in the precursor. i currently have mole 71 (definitely overkill) and great explorer 15. this is all of my spare robot parts AFTER giving ark half of mine

farming parts like this also gives a lot of powder btw! but it's very boring and VERY time consuming so i understand if it's not your thing

since you said you're close to 500 commissions, keep in mind that the nucleus warp is at 750! that is a major game changer for getting runs done. but until you get that, just remember that the nucleus is always around 500x 500y :]

#asks #sb #crenshaw121 #SORRY THIS GOT VERY LONG

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electrifying-elessa · 6 months

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🍁🥧Blog Information🥧🍁

Hello, welcome to my Pokéblr Blog! I am Professor Aelius, but you can just call me Elessa or Ellie. Would you like some warm, Cinnamon Apple Cidar and a freshly baked Combee Honey Crumble? I haven't finished preparing today's lesson, so feel free to browse for a spell~

About Mod: I am 22 years old, and my name is Feylix. I go by she/her or they/them pronouns, im not picky on pronouns. My main blog is @solarfeylix, but be warned, that blog is a hot mess, lol. It's full of random posts that may or may not make sense, so be aware of that. My other roleplay blog (still a WIP, but has a wider variety of fandom content and OCs is @feylixs-stuff

General Info & Rules

•This blog is run by my sona, Elessa. All replies, posts, and more will be in-character for this blog. However, replies that are addressed to the moderator of this blog will be answered in "(( ))" format. This goes for posts as well, even roleplay posts.

•Owner of this blog is 21+, as such, I ask that you please keep that in mind for roleplay responses, asks, etc.

•NSFW asks, roleplay responses, submissions, etc, are not welcome on this blog. I don't care if you post it (nsfw content) publically (as long as it does not pertain to my character, obviously), but if you post it for me to see personally (via DM, ask, roleplay reply, etc) you will be blocked.

▪︎Please respect my boundaries and be respectful, kind and positive. I'm new to tumblr RP, but I've done muses and similar concepts to character blogs on other sites such as quotev and wattpad in the past. I'm more experienced with playing a character behind a screen than roleplaying on a public-ish platform. Do not rush my responses, and please specify if it's a roleplay starter or not. At the current, I have no roleplay starters or Prompts, so that will have to be on those who send asks and replies for now.

Some OOC Notes🐿🌰

▪︎I am not a real educational professor or ranger of any kind. This is a fan sideblog run by my pokémon OC. Please do not take anything posted or reblogged on this blog as solid advice in any way, shape, or form; especially if you, for some reason, feel it's "real life advice." All of this is centered around pokémon (i am not affiliated with Nintendo in any way, and please do not regard me as such) and its universe, so there won't be -much- non-canon information outside of my OCs interactions with Canon Characters (if any).

▪︎If any references are used, the links to the websites will be found at the bottom of each post, if any are used at all.

▪︎Please do not ask invasive questions about my personal or private life. This blog is -only- for my main OC/Sona, Elessa, and any questions must be about her and whatnot.

▪︎There will be no anon asks on this blog. If you choose to be hateful, negative, derogatory, or attempt to push me out of a Fandom I love, you will be reported and blocked. Keep in mind I don't tolerate negativity.

▪︎NO.CRITICISM. if I write something you don't fancy or favor, you can choose to not view it. For extra long posts I ALWAYS have a read more. My tags are extra specific nowadays, so please, please refer to my tags before reading posts with cuts. I'm not asking for criticism, and as such, it's not needed. I will write what I wanna write that makes me happy and that will be it.

Companion Characters🍗🥓

--Companion Characters are extra, side OCs that may answer or respond to things as well on this blog. They do not have full character sheets, but are described in this section. You can interact with them by using the initials or emoji that correspond to their character!🥞

🍭 (SB)Saffron Brioche: 24 years old, They/Them pronouns. They are a Sous-Chef that often accompanies Elessa on her travels. They are a very extroverted, happy, and generous person; and love to share their creations with others. They tend to have a stubborn attitude when it comes to changes within recipes, but always becomes willing to trying new things in the end. Saffron is 6'2", and weighs almost 205 pounds. They have an oval shaped body type, and have yellow-Green hair & Hazel eyes. They tend to crush on whoever they meet; and do not discriminate against gender (they have an attraction towards all genders of human lol). They have thick, hairy arms and legs, and maintain a hiker style beard. They prefer their hair long and in a bun. They are typically seen wearing a traditional chef's or butler outfit. (Is currently single). They are olive in complexion.

🍬(CT)Crispin Tartemann: 32 years old, Herbal Researcher, she/her pronouns. Crispin is good friends with Elessa, and though they don't often travel together, they help each other out from time to time with research notes and understanding more about pokémons natural environments. Crispin helps to develop medicine for both man and pokémon, as well. She goes from region to region discovering new and exciting fruits and veggies, herbs and fungi that have amazing healing properties. She is very studious, kind, and all around a friend everyone must have around. She's a great listener and doesn't judge people on outward appearance. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. She often wears her heart on her sleeve. She's a round woman in body type, standing at 5'3". She has short, bright, sea foam green hair, and brown eyes. She has ivory skin and freckles dotting her entire body.

🍪(CB)Carmella Brazendoh: 21 Years Old, She/Her/They/Them, Apprentice Researcher. She follows Elessa around during her research expeditions, so that she can someday do what Elessa does. Carmella can be seen as stubborn, but has a fire in her heart unmatched in most others. She's very talented in pokémon communications, and enjoys being around pokémon rather than people. She is 5'1" and has a triangular build. She has long, ash green hair with deep, green eyes. Her skin is darker olive in tone.

Ending Words

I hope you enjoy the content posted on this blog. Currently, there is an Autumn theme in place that will change December 14, 2023, when the release of Indigo Disc (S/V DLC) drops.

If you'd like to see the current events, and information about Elessa, you can view those down below by clinking the links ^^

Happy Autumn 🍮☕️!!

The Event Tabloid || Elessa's 'Official' Staff File

((NOTE: ALL gifs came from Tumblr's search bar. If you can't see the Gif credit, in order it is: elianicarvalho, anessenceofautumn, kristinasmi, akanebulah, & assassin1513. this post is non-rebloggable and blazable, so if you'd like to see their content you can search the names into the search and they might pop up. Idk. It's tumblr gifs lol.))

#pinned post #pokéblr #pokémon #trainersona #pokémon muse blog #pokémon OC muse #pokémon OC muse blog #pokémon blog

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multi-lefaiye · 2 years

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IM. IM BACK AGAIN LAST ASK FOR NOW I SWEAR. I JUST WANNA POINT OUT TWO THINGS: THE COLLAR DOES STILL CHANGE INTO A STAR, AND ALL THE CHARACTER SCREENS (the ones with stats) IN THE SECOND HALF OF RHE COMIC HAVE THE COLORS! Shag has Cyan, Bugs has Magenta, Five has Red, and Gadget has Brown (i think this us just meant to be "cant use ballyhoos"?), so there is 100% a theme with the colors. We just sorta need to answer the question of what connects Shag and Scoob, Bugs and Deedee, and Five and Mickey. Unless we get a brown being (i dont think we will?) Gadget is also probably confirmed to be completely unable to use Ballyhoos (shame bc i HC (/hj) him as not having any bc he walked onto set and immediately made some kid cry so he never actually acted in anything, got kicked off the stage LMAO)

HI I APOLOGIZE FOR THE DELAY, I'VE BEEN ZONED OUT MAKING PICREWS OF MY OC ROACH ALL FUCKING DAY.

Anyway YEAH YEAH YEAH HOLY SHIT.... I went back and looked at the character stat screens and holy SHIT you're so right oh my god- I completely did Not notice but you are So Right and I'm really interested to see the parallels for these characters....

I think the obvious answer for connecting Scoob and Shag is the bond between them, but I think there might be something to my earlier suggestion that the deal sorta like... Bound Them in a way?? Idk. As for Bugs and Deedee, I think it could be a matter of them having, in a way, slightly similar ideals and a drive to Help, and for Five and Mick... my first idea is that it's a personality similarity, but I'm not sure on that. Five doesn't seem as manipulative as Mickey is, but she IS very powerful and willing to experiment with her Ballyhoo to test its limits (based on the last update) and do whatever it takes to win. So, hey, might have to see where it goes on that front!

Also Gadget's probably is just to indicate that he doesn't have a Ballyhoo and never will, which ACTUALLY now that I think about it... I'm really intrigued by the idea of parallels between him and Shag, as the only two Toone characters (atm at least) who have no Ballyhoo. I am FASCINATED by the potential dynamic between them, and if the comic doesn't explore it I might suck it up and try to write something about that ASDFJKL;.

Anyway uhhh last thing I wanted to mention, but I was rereading some of the recent updates/part two in general today, and I noticed something interesting. Every other character we've seen make some sort of deal with an entity has colored eyes after the deal is made, and that seems to be permanent (or at least last as long as the deal does). However, Scoob's eyes are only cyan when he's actively using his Ballyhoo. I'm not sure what to make of that, but it's an interesting observation, and I doubt it's just an art style thing. It seems like an intentional choice.

#talk to the bunnykitty #scoob and shag #scoob and shag anon #rotating so many things in my head rn at top speeds

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ottitty · 3 years

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Anyways, since its pride month, I am once again inviting anyone who wants to try out new names or pronouns, or even just ramble about gender shit and tell me all about your pronouns and gender to go ahead and hop in my inbox if you need. Anons are on, if you'd like to use it.

#gender tea party #i didnt use this tag last time but i gotta start doin it #also this is a safe space and judgement free zone for neopronouns users and those with xenogenders #oh #and if you wanna ask any questions im willing to answer them so long as they arent super intrusive

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rinstars · 2 years

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hey is everything alright??? you kinds disappeared on us. hope everything’s okay

hiiii everyone! everything's fine. now. at the very least, everything is starting to be okay. i'm sorry i disappeared for a while without saying anything or giving u guys updates about why and if i was ever coming back. there's probably a lot of questions you guys have so ill just break it down in a single post, making it easier for u guys to find what you wanna know.

1. what happened and where were u?

thing is, the last time i was here i mentioned something about being sick and that was originally the only time i needed off. i was just waiting to get better and it wasn't supposed to stretch into a month. however, a very unfortunate incident happened where i had to be hospitalized and monitored as i sustained an injury to my already very weak knee. growing up, my right knee has always been very prone to dislocation but it wasnt too serious to the point that i could still join cheerleading and excel in it. it wasnt until i was doing a dance required for one of my classes and my knees knocked and snapped that i fell so hard crying when i realized this time it was.. bad. i had a surgery that wasn't anything too crazy and got put in a cast until i was fully recovered bc simply popping it back to place like they always did stopped working. that, too, was fine. but finding out i'd have to take it easy on dancing and possibly cut off anything that has to do with the hardcore dancing i was used to for the rest of my life to make sure it wouldn't get any worse than it already was literally depressed me and put me in a slump and i just didn't want to answer anyone and tell people all about it yet. especially not on tumblr where i know people were waiting for something ive promised to finish. i was just very out of it and wasn't sure if i was even in the right mindset to ever continue being here at the time. so there's that but now that im able to tell u all about it, it means it's gotten a lot better and u dont have to worry about my knee bc it's healing fine :") im very thankful for all the messages and i read and appreciated all of them. im sorry it took me so long to respond.

2. what's gonna happen to cfm?

the very short answer to this is im not abandoning it and will continue writing the remaining 3 parts! dont worry! you can rest easy. however, ill take this in my own pace. ill work hard to post it in 2 weeks time but it's not a promise and i'm still wrapping my head around my whole knee thing and the start of my semester. but i love the series and it means a lot to me. i want to see it finished probably more than any of u do that's why you can count on the ending that will surely come. i know ive gone so long without updating and idek if any of u will still be reading it when i post it in a few weeks! but it's a risk im willing to take because we're so close to the end! and i am so excited for all of u to see how suna and yn end up living after where i left act x on hehehe

3. im not leaving and im sorry

i feel really horrible leaving u all in the dark for like more than a month now i think. that was a dick move. if an author i follow suddenly disappeared after what happened in act x i wouldve been mad and worried too so im really sorry. i didn't want to ignore any of u. i was just in a place where i didn't feel like moving. thank u to everyone who has been very understanding with me despite not knowing what was happening. to my friends on discord that i wasn't replying to, to all my followers and readers, to everyone who reached out to my friends hoping to know if im doing well, thank u sooo much and i love and appreciate u all so much.

im sorry this got so long but i hope i answered everything! if i missed anything, please just send me more asks, ill be happy to answer them hehe. love u!

#hi #sorry #love u #read it please #mwah

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gb-patch · 3 years

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Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice?

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other.

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC?

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round?

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment?

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4?

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though-

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships?

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove?

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends?

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^ Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love.

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :]

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end...

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him?

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!!

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game?

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance?

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games!

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it!

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game?

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running?

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch?

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS?

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower.

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥)

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing)

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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barzzal · 3 years

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between halls and thin walls → part four

summary: friends who fool around almost never works. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: idiots, that’s all <3

↳ genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+

↳ length: series; part one, part two, part three, part four (6.7k), part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: my favorite part by mac miller, addicted by jorja smith, someone to spend time with by los retros

note: finally got myself to update this fic oml zzz quick psa tho, this will now be a six-part series! hope that’s okay and yenno as always, would love to hear what you think about this (validate me in the tags pls im lonely) happy reading babes! <3

“Yo, grandma. Haven’t you had too much tea to drink?” his voice echoes in the room as soon as he walks into it. You carefully set the cup down on the dining table and looked at him exasperatedly.

“Haven’t you had too much care to give?” you snark back, earning yourself a disappointed look from him.

“Really, y/n? That’s the best you’ve got?” he shakes his head at your appalling retort. What a shame.

You were good at pissing him off to be fair. You just weren’t in the mood to throw teases back and forth especially now that you’re feeling particularly vulnerable.

The week has been far too dreadful for you and you know that you’re willing to grovel your way into the weekend to finally have the time to slack off, not worry about taking a bath, and just go crazy with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s.

However, just like always, Mathew seems to never run out of ways to get on your nerves.

He carelessly puts his stuff on the table, causing a fairly loud thud on the surface.

You let out a deep breath, massaging your temple.

“Somebody’s cranky.” he grins. Not necessarily the kind you’d want to see from him.

You try to ignore him for a few minutes but you can’t help noticing how his build easily took over much of the space you’ve already been occupying. You irkingly look up at him, closing the book you were reading. You meet Mat’s eyes who just innocently looked back into yours. Waiting. Possibly plotting on yet another sophisticated way to toy with you.

“You’re a child.” you roll your eyes and return to your reading. He says nothing and instead rests his chin atop his enclasped hands, continuing to bother you with his ridiculously beguiling eyes. He presses his lips together before sighing dramatically.

“What?” you snap, finally shutting your book down as you look at him.

“I wanna go out.” he looks up at you in an effort to make his huge physique smaller than it really was.

“Then go out. You’re a big boy.” you breathe.

“You just said that I’m a child.” he coos, mimicking a five-year-old’s voice.

“Stop that.” you glare at him. Mat props himself back and laughs, “Come on. I’m bored.”

You open your book again just as you reply in a tone that Mat’s getting used to hearing. “Boredom doesn’t give you the right to pester me, Barzal.”

And as an exchange, he speaks in the same tone rather mockingly, “And so is that attitude, Y/L/N.”

“Come on, y/n. Let’s go out.” he now pleads, looking up at you with what seems to be his worst impression of a ‘puppy eye’.

“Fine.” you finally concede and you see Mat’s beaming smile instantly.

“Where’d you want to go?” you ask as you take your reading glasses off.

“Dunno.” He shrugs, obviously teasing.

On the edge of being irritated, you say, “Are you kidding me?”

“Grandma.” he mumbles before saying, “Do you have anything you want to do? And please don’t say book hunt.”

You suppress a smile and maintain your composure. “I’m craving for pancakes right now but I also wanna drink. Go to a bar or something.”

He nods in agreement. Already stitching his game plan.

“We can do both.” he bobs his all too fine brows.

He didn’t have a hard time getting you on board with his spontaneity. You actually haven’t gone out in a while and the thought of a possible night out doesn’t seem to be so bad of an idea.

You’ve been with Mat to parties and while the two of you don’t mingle as much as the other guys did, he does know his way around the club. The dance floor, however, he tries. He really does.

For about an hour Mathew waited patiently in the living room as he scrolled endlessly on instagram liking a few photos and laughing at posts the fans tag him occasionally. His eyes were peeled away from the screen when he heard the door to your room click. His irises trail onto your body even if he didn’t plan to originally.

Mathew, albeit dressed simply in his black turtleneck sweater and a beige overcoat exudes just about the right ‘swag’ (as per how he puts it) to stop you in your stupor. Although what you didn’t know was how you weren’t any different in his eyes. You were dressed quite nicely in a black lace bodysuit with a pair of blackpants accentuated by the black boots you usually wear on a night out. Your coat was slung on your forearm whilst you held your clutch purse in your hand so you could close the door with the other.

“What?” you blink just as you look down to eye yourself. Feeling a tad self-conscious under his gaze.

Mat immediately breaks it off. He clears his throat, pretending to wipe off the non-existent dust on the accent table.

“What?” he mirrors with an arched brow.

You shrug off his demeanor, snatching your keys from the accent table before putting it in your purse.

“Have you called a lyft already?” he nods, absentmindedly scratching his temple.

“You ready? You look— decent.” He says, trying to act casual and distant when he gives you the compliment.

Not noticing the unfamiliar look his eyes had, you return the compliment and say, “And so do you. Good job for not looking like you came straight out of an H&M catalogue.” you wink at him with a grin. A thing which was then reciprocated by a deadpan look on his end.

Before he could even come up with yet another clever way to come at you, you start walking towards the door, looking at him once as you motion the way by curling your finger.

“Haul ass, buddy.”

𖥸

10:15 PM

Mat decided to bring you to the usual place he goes to when he wants to be alone and just enjoy a couple of beers while he chats with River, the bartender he eventually befriends after years spent drinking in solitude.

The bar had a rustic feel filled with wine barrels in the corner of the room. The seats were leather (mind you, it wasn’t the kind that gets easily worn out through time) and everything looked new to you regardless of all the vintage stuff displayed articulately on the brick wall. A turntable was set on the table stacked with vinyl records, most of which were from the 70s to 80s underneath.

It was obvious that it wasn’t the kind people would know about. Aside from it being located at such a secluded street leading to the suburbs, it wasn’t the type of bar kids would want to hang out in. It only had a few customers and most of them wore suits and came with company. No one really gave a hoot when you walked in with Mathew, aka, the face of the New York Islanders. Which is basically the reason why Mat kept coming back to the place. He felt comfortable and at peace. Almost in retrospect to being at home hanging with his father.

“I can’t believe this place exists.” you say, mouthing your thanks to River as he hands you both of your drinks. The man that’s definitely aged like fine wine smiles, nodding his head over to Mat who was doing the same before he headed back to mix another set of drinks.

“Me neither.” he grins, reminiscing about the time he’s found the small pub by accident.

“This place looks expensive though.” you whisper, making Mathew laugh.

“Well, it kinda is.” he sheepishly chuckles. “River’s filthy rich.”

“Is he really?” your mouth falls and you look back over the build of the old man. The way his salt and pepper hair was neatly slicked back makes quite a compelling case for what Mat had just said.

Mat eventually explains who he was. Apparently, he was just another bored fancy man who happened to love making people drop dead and drunk with his over the top mixes. His dark deep set brown eyes are quite of a crowd favourite too. Case in point, the group of ladies seated from across you and Mathew.

“Hey.” you absentmindedly call on Mat who had just sipped on his drink. “I know what we should do.”

“All right.” he puts the glass down, “Lay it on me.”

“Let’s fix you up with one of the girls over there.” you suggest, leaning towards his body so you could get a better view upfront. Mat does not move and instead follows your finger subtly pointing at the other end of the room.

“What’s with the sudden fixation of getting me bagged tonight, huh?” he smirks, shaking his head at the idea of having to go home with some random girl. You give him a side eye as you move away from him.

“Fixation is an overstatement. We’ll be here long enough for us to get sick of each other.” you explicitly told him.

Mat eyes you intently. Searching if there was even the slightest doubt in your eyes.

Long enough to get sick of each other.

He clears his throat instead and looks across the room. “Which one?”

A gleeful cheer erupts from you just before you look over the girls in question. “What’s your type?” you ask him, not sparing a glance.

Mat looks down on you underneath the bar lights accentuating your features. Your eyes had a certain glint in them that Mat still can’t get a grasp on. Something that was just enough to spark something inside him. He didn’t want to overthink it nonetheless. It must have been just the lights.

Once Mat sensed that you were about to look at him he immediately turned his gaze forward, squinting his eyes a little pretending to check out the women you’ve been eyeing for the last minute.

“I don’t really have a type.” he shrugs, casually taking the fragile glass to his mouth.

You dismiss what he said at once, “Do I look like a child to you? Just answer it.”

Mat shakes his head, “I told you. I don’t have one. If we vibe then we vibe. Simple as that.”

You did not believe him but you decide to drop it off. Instead, you look back and return to your new found mission. Across the bar, seated were three girls busy talking to each other.

“Got it.” you tell Mat, nodding your head towards the clueless girl sitting right across from where Mathew was. “The one in the center.” you add. “The one wearing a white bodycon.”

“She’s pretty.” he nods, validating your taste as his potential wingman. “Nice smile.”

Your hand met a firm slap on the table as you went on cheering for him. “Well? Go then!” you give him a nudge, taking it back quickly when you feel a slight hesitation on his part, “Don’t tell me you need me to introduce you?”

He takes the remainder of his glass and shaked off the kick it had in his throat. “You just sit and watch, babe.”

You do as you’re told and lean towards the bar, your elbow carrying all your weight whilst you sip on your half-full martini.

Mathew’s stance and the way he carries himself immediately caused the girls to notice him coming. Of course, you weren’t really surprised. You watch him approach her,– reading along the words leaving his mouth. There was an exchange of proper ‘hello’s’ as Mat introduced himself to the girls. He reaches out his hand and the curly noirette in the center gives him a firm shake.

Mat’s eyes momentarily locked with yours just as you see their hands linger in the air— tangled long enough for him to make a quick segway. He winks your way as he sees you grin from your seat, shaking your head just after you felt the need to take a deep breath. A thing you assumed to be because of the drink. So, while Mat leads the girl to one of the empty booths and sits across from her, you call on River and ask for another drink.

Mathew must have lost track of time by the second drink he shared with Zoe. He learns that she’s from upstate and was just on the island to visit her friends. She’s still working on her major at NYU; coincidentally in the same field as Lianna so that was one of the things they’ve talked about first hand. She wasn’t really into sports so Mat steered clear of his job because he didn’t want to bore her.

“So…” Zoe smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear. “What’s the deal with you and the girl you’re with?”

By the time she asked about you, only then did Mat remember who he was originally with.

“Oh! She’s—” he looks over to where you’re seated only to find you laughing— no giggling with a man that was obviously a few years older than you. He’s wearing a neat black suit and a button down shirt with a couple of its first buttons opened. Zoe sees him frown, evidently losing his train of thought.

She calls him with her sweet voice, “Mat?”

“Yeah?” he absentmindedly answers, not wanting to take his eyes off of your hand that was now gently pushing the man’s arm whilst the two of you continue to burst into laughter.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

What’s so funny?

Finally, Mat hears Zoe’s distant voice that eventually took him back to his seat.

“Oh. Y-Yeah.” he apologetically smiles. “Sorry. What were you saying again?”

She hesitates to ask about you after taking a quick glance your way upon seeing the way Mathew looked at you. Nevertheless, she decides to go for it.

“Aren’t you two together? I don’t want to come off strong here or anything. It’s just that I don’t want to get in between something if there ever is.”

Mat looks at you one more time and as if you’ve felt his eyes all along you turn your way and meet his gaze. You shoot him a quiet smile, eyeing the guy sitting beside you, mouthing what he assumes to be an exaggerated “So hot!” on your end. He reciprocates your smile and gives you an approving nod.

Once you looked away, that’s the only time Mat finally answered the woman waiting patiently for his attention.

“What?” Mat shakes his head wildly, blowing out air off his lips defensively. “No no no. We’re just friends. She’s my roommate actually.” he shrugs you off his mind and instead tries to put his entire focus on her.

The remaining hours were spent with you and Mat getting along with your respective potential hook-ups. Not that it wasn’t the endgame either of you were hoping for at the back of your minds.

He’s got to admit that Zoe was the kind of girl he’d be interested in. Another fact he’s kept a mental tab not to mention to you because he knows you’ll just get cocky.

She was sweet and obviously eloquent. He knows she’s way smarter than he’ll ever be. But out of all those qualities, she was just as passionate at her craft as someone he likes to think he knows well enough. And that alone made a small smile creep on his lips.

Nonetheless, despite all the aforementioned, Mathew found himself a bit more reserved than he usually is whenever he gets to meet and talk to his potential ‘lady friends’ as how you’ve put it countless times. He just wasn’t his exact self. And he was beginning to question it.

There were no fancy hockey plays thrown subtly into the conversation. Neither mentions of golfing nor over the top league events. No butchered french pet names swiftly tucked in his sentences. And no endless questions that would eventually lead to something along the lines of ‘Do you want to get out of here?’

Well, not until Zoe’s friends got up their seats and she told him herself.

“Hey. The girls and I are meeting up with some friends in Brooklyn. D’ya wanna come?”

Mat’s eyes trail down to her hand now gently caressing his. He raises both his brows thinking of a possible ‘out’ because he wasn’t sure if it was a smart thing to leave you alone with a stranger.

He hums, “Sure.”

Zoe shows him a delighted smile before eventually sliding out of the booth to walk towards the bar she and her friends were formally seated.

“I gotta use the restroom first. Please excuse me.” she gives him a nod before going back to chatting with her friends.

You, on the other hand, see Mat leave the table aiming for an archway you presume to be where the loo was.

“Hey,” you call the man whose name you’ve already forgotten. Your pause was long enough for him to acknowledge the chances that you actually did forget who he was. Obviously.

“Chris.” The man in his early 30s answers with a submitting grin.

You shyly laugh, squeezing his forearm as you try to apologize for forgetting.

“Would you mind if I use the restroom?” you politely ask.

“No, not at all.” he replies and immediately stands to help you get on your feet. Gentleman.

Once you are in front of the men’s room, you anxiously wait for your wingman. You hug your purse close to your chest. Not a whole minute after, the door finally opens and you meet Mat’s irises with quite a gleeful look.

A look he wasn’t a fan of for he knew what’s about to come next.

“Are you taking off?” you eagerly ask, almost hopping on your feet.

Mat eyes you from head to toe, looking for signs that would stink from a drunk y/n. When he sees none, that’s when he decides to say that he was.

“Mkay good. I’ll be on my way too. Chris is taking me to New Jersey.” you tell him, briefly looking through the archway to see if there were people listening.

Once you know you’re clear, you lean towards Mat, your lips dangerously close to the sensitive skin of his ear. Mat feels your heated breath sending a familiar tingle up his spine. “I’ll get to ride a yacht tonight.” you bite your lower lip and giddily smile as if you were a cheeky 16 year-old usually depicted in a coming of age movie.

“Who’s Chris?” Mat, in spite of taking rounds observing you all night, finds the need to ask. “And why are you coming with him to NJ?” he further questions.

“Uh– okay, dad.” you step back for a second. You let out a scoff, checking if he was being serious about it. “I thought we’re supposed to go get laid tonight? Weren’t you about to take off with that girl yourself?”

Mat averts your gaze and starts to scratch the corner of his brow. “Well yeah. It’s just that— he looks sketchy.” he pauses, “plus… isn’t he a little too old for you?”

You roll your eyes as you’ve already expected to hear the words from him.

“He’s 31. He’s not that old.” you say rather defensively so you turn the ball back on his court. “And what if he was? Didn’t you ask one of the moms out??”

Mat’s eyes widens and you try to bite back a laugh. He whispers with a biting tone, trying to save himself. “She didn’t look like one! I’m gonna kill Beau I swear to god.”

“Come on Barz. Don’t be such a killjoy. Text me if you need anything, okay? Wrap things up while you’re at it.” you say at once. Mat doesn’t get the chance to talk you out of such a stupid idea because before he even could, you’ve already planted a kiss on his cheek and started walking away.

Mat waited for the sound of the heavy doors of the bar, signaling that you and your friend have gone, before stepping back to where Zoe was. She waves him near the coat closet.

“Hi.” Mat greets her friends before eventually turning his attention on the unsuspecting lass. She meets her with a smile (just like what she’s been doing all night). The same smile, however, drops the second Mat opens his mouth. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

Zoe nods and willfully abides, letting Mat take her gently by the arm.

“What’s up?” she innocently asks.

“Something came up.” he says a little too fast than what he’d originally intended. He was going to let her down either way might as well get it over with and rip up the asshole band-aid.

“Oh.” she says in a tone Mat knew that she completely understood.

“No worries.” she looks at him with a knowing look in her eyes. “I’ll see you around then.”

He gives her a kind smile and nods. “Take care.”

Mathew walks towards the bar, catching River’s teasing grin whilst he cleans up after the bottles left on the center of the counter.

“What?” Mat reacts defensively, taking a seat in front of the lone bartender. River faintly shakes his head to leave just enough curiosity in Mathew’s mind.

“You’re such a tool, old man.” the kid says aiming for the cold beer River has put away for himself. River did not mind because he’s grown fond of the star player for the past years he’s spent going on late night drinks at his bar. Years that even justifies a proper amount of time for him to know the in’s and out’s of one Mathew Barzal.

“I haven’t said a thing.” he shrugs amidst the already wide grin on his face.

There’s wisdom in his eyes that Mathew has always admired. He wasn’t the guy who’d want to talk about what’s going on inside his head but with how River’s pub seems to be just the right place, he eventually concedes and takes a shot to pick on the old man’s brain.

“Come on, spill it out. I know you’re going to anyway.” Mat gives in, running his thumb on the moist label of the bottle.

River wipes his hands before resting it atop the counter. “Well, it’s just that– I ain’t used to seeing you turn down ladies like that too often. And you’re definitely not one to stick around watching me clean up.”

Mat stays silent for a moment, as if to gather the exact reason as to why he chose to stay. He still has a long way to go before figuring that one out. He wasn’t exactly as sharp as he was on the ice.

“I don’t know, man.” he chuckles tirelessly, “I guess I wasn’t in the mood. That’s all.”

“You?” River shots a brow and dismisses him, shaking his head. When Mat doesn’t answer, he carefully picks on his choice of words and lays it down carefully for him. After all, Mathew should have known that River was old enough to not know what’s going on.

“Though I gotta be honest with you, hijo. Never imagined you’d bring someone here.” he starts.

What must have been a shot in the dark for the old man was just enough to tear Mathew’s eyes away from staring at the water beads on the bottle.

“What?”

“The girl, Barz.” he says, banging on the head of the bottle to knock the cap off. “She a friend?”

“What? Y/N?” Mat quirks his brows trailing off where River was exactly headed, “What about her?— Oh, her? Yeah, no. She’s just a friend.”

“She pretty.” he speaks in a sound accent, not wanting to let Mat know he’s growing to like catching the young lad off guard. Mathew nods casually despite the continuous blabbering. “She’s y/n. But yeah— I guess, she is pretty.”

“Then what are you doing being just friends with a pretty girl?” River inquires, taking a sip of his beer. When he sees him trying to register what he’d just said he then adds, “Why not be with her? Date her?”

“Psh. What? Date y/n? That’s crazy.” Mat shakes his head furiously, “You’re crazy.”

“What’s so crazy about that?” River takes offense, laughing at the child’s naivete.

“I can’t date her. I mean— I won’t date her.” he takes the bottle to his mouth, taking a large gulp before continuing, “We’re in this weird relationship thing. A setup, actually, and it’s— it’s crazier than dating her. I swear, you of all people won’t get it.”

“What makes you think I can’t?” he smirks, “I’ve had my fair share of crazy.” River points out despite the hesitation in Mat’s eyes. “I got all night, kid.” he adds, letting him have the floor to himself.

“You really want in on this?” he second guesses, not wanting to bore the man with his personal life.

River leans against the brass counter just below the lit rack of vintage scotch displayed on the bar. He then gestures him to give a piece of his mind and Mat finally submits to his offer.

“We’ve been in a few… prior engagements,” he starts trying to find the appropriate word. “Well, sort of.”

River hums, not necessarily getting on the same page as him so he decides to be upfront about it.

“We’ve… slept together.” he confesses.

“So you used to date her?” the old man asks.

“No.” he answers, “I told you we’re just friends.”

With furrowed brows, River takes a minute. And once Mat hears an all too familiar “Oh.” he sees him break a chuckle, shaking his head at the thought of what Mat had just told him. “You kids have way too much fun these days.”

Mathew shrugs, “Hey, I warned you. Told you you wouldn’t get it.”

“Okay, make me understand something here. You two sleep together, fool around, do all that shit.” he says, “and you swear you’re not in a relationship?”

“Nope.” Mat answers with pride, popping out the word with a hard ‘p’.

“Huh.” River clicks his tongue, “How long have you two been… engaged?”

He rolls his eyes when River uses his word, “About two months.” he answers shortly.

“Is she seeing anyone since you two started this thing? You know, casual dates, the ones I presume she’s been getting before you got her into this mess?” he asks him in a tone that only fathers would ever dare to use.

Mat thinks for a moment, trying to recall the last time he’s seen a guy pick you up for dinner besides the old man you’ve successfully bagged for the night. He firmly shakes his head no and simply says, “At least not in my recollection.”

River willfully nods, walking Mat right into the trap. “Well have you been seeing anyone lately?” he asks again, this time slipping a hint of assertion. He hears a crystal clear ‘no’ from the forward and that’s when he broke a goading grin.

“And you’re telling me you two aren’t together?” he asks yet again, getting on Mat's nerves as he continues to flood him with biting queries, building up the final point he was about to break on Mathew.

“Rivs, for the hundredth time, no. We are not.” he clarifies.

Mat watches River pour himself a glass of scotch, still wearing a smug grin. “Imma give you a piece of advice, yeah?” he smiles rather teasingly and doesn’t wait for Mat to rebut, “I’m a happily married man so I don’t know a single squat about dating nowadays, but if you’re telling me that you kids aren’t sleeping with anyone else but yourselves? Looks like a damn relationship to me.”

With his brows all quirked in confusion (and denial in the very least), Mathew gathers all his might just so he could refute whatever madness River was trying to inflict on him and screw him up in the head. But before he could even open his mouth, the sound of the heavy doors was all it took to tear up both River’s and Mat’s attention.

“Hi.” you say the moment you were welcomed by unsuspecting men talking by the bar. River acknowledges you by raising his drink, his gaze landing on Mat the moment yours did.

“Hi.” Mathew mirrors you in an attempt to drown his already racing heart. A smile impending to break loose at any moment but he manages to suppress it. Instead of dealing with his adrenaline, he gestures for you to take a seat beside him.

“Where’s the sugar daddy?” he laughs the moment you drag yourself from across the room, mocking every word he said.

“His wife called when I got into his car.” you cringe.

“Oof. Lovely.” Mat makes the distinct expression on his face just before the two of you share a laugh.

“He’s not very smooth with adultery. He needs more practice.” you casually state sarcastically, clicking your tongue.

As you find the narrative funny, you take a sip on Mathew’s beer. “How are you not drunk? You’ve been drinking way too much the entire night.”

“Well. I’ve got some things to think about—” he cuts himself off upon seeing your mouth ajar, “And no, you’re not allowed to ask because none of it concerns you.”

“I wasn’t going to.” you dismiss him, excusing yourself to River which he gladly took as his cue to leave.

When he disappeared into the kitchen, you turned your gaze on your friend wearing another one of your mischievous grins, “Hey, wanna get pancakes?”

“Y/N, it’s almost 3 AM.” Mat sighs, the tiring night starting to creep up to him.

“So?” you question, swatting his hand away when you catch him checking on his watch.

“Come on. Stop drinking that.” you insist and take the bottle from his hand before putting it over to the side.

The two of you said your goodbyes to the lone bartender who was just starting to clean up again. River gives the two of you a nod of acknowledgement before landing a knowing look on Mathew. One that he’s thankful enough not to be discerned by you.

As you walk alongside Mathew, he unconsciously places a hand on the small of your back— feeling it graze on the fabric of your coat as if to guide you towards the door in an almost romantic type of way. Perhaps, a way someone would behave if they were actually in a relationship.

Mat notices your body tense but he doesn’t move an inch. Instead, his hand travels to the curve of your waist just as he leads you through the brass doors.

Once you’re out on the streets, he lets go.

𖥸

After almost half an hour of fighting over which diner is better to eat and get sober at, you and Mat decide to just try the new diner three blocks from your apartment. Being that it was an ungodly hour, the diner was good as closed when you got in. There were a few people inside and besides the student studying alone in the corner booth, the people lounging in the vacant seats were mostly just staff. Too bad they had to work the grave shift.

Mathew, who was rather preoccupied digging in his breakfast platter, gets interrupted when you call his attention.

“So tell me,” you ask as you take a forkful of syrupy pancake into your mouth. Finally satisfying your cravings. You put the food modestly in the insides of your cheeks when you ask him a question, “What are you like on dates?”

Mat disgustingly looks at you. You easily get what such a look meant and you immediately roll your eyes. You let your hand fall in mid-air amidst still holding a fork in it to prove a point. “I’m not trying to ask you out, dumbass. Don’t be so delusional.”

He puts his silverware down and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Why the sudden interest?”

“Just curious.” you simply say.

He hums, thinking about how he pulls off a first date. He then clears his throat as he takes you down that road. “First, I’m not bringing her to a 24/7 Diner.” you nearly gag. “She deserves a formal one just in case there won’t be a second date.” he explains.

You sit there, nodding your head every now and then as he further goes on the details of how he’s like on a date. “Of course, I’d put my best foot forward all the time. Talk about her stuff more than mine and make sure she has a good time.”

“Have you ever had a bad first date?” you curiously ask. To which he only answers with a stubborn look on his face, the one only Mat Barzal could pull off. “What? me? I don’t do bad first dates.”

“Oh, fuck off.” you flick his forehead as you laugh. The sound of his laughter echoing in your ears, drowning all the existing noise inside the lone diner.

But as the laughter dies down, Mat catches your eyes as soon as it falls on his. And just like that, there it was again, the exact same glint it had back in the bar. This time, illuminated by the pink shaded light lining up the wall accents of the diner.

When he realizes that he’s been staring for too long, he settles on turning the tables on you.

“How about you?” he props in his seat, “What are you like on dates?”

“You know, apart from the fact that you’re obviously into old men.” he snickers and you throw a curly fry on his forehead.

“Excuse me, I don’t.” you say sticking up for yourself.

Mat takes the curly fry that has fallen on his plate and proceeds to eat it. “Sure you do.”

You roll your eyes, finding it hard to suppress the fact that you might actually do. “There’s a reason why women like old men, chico.”

He leans back and answers with a level headed and quite teasing reply, “And why’s that?”

“Because they’re men.” you look at him with a jerky grin as you continue, “And men, especially of River’s kind, definitely knows how to eat his french fry.”

Mat’s mouth falls wide in disbelief, appalled that you’ve actually found a way to pick up a stone and throw it straight to his face just to rub more salt on the fact that you had to teach a 23-year-old grown man how to eat cunt.

“You’re an ass.” he says, rolling his eyes. You let out a laugh and shake your head. You were proud of yourself, sure; but showing just that is far too much for a boy’s already hurting ego. Who would have known humbling this man was such a task.

“I’m playing! You know how to now.” you tell him, “Thanks to me, of course.”

He scoffs and takes a bite off his pancakes, “Cocky.”

“But you still haven’t answered my question.” he reminds you whilst he wipes off his lips with a napkin.

“There’s not much to tell. You know I’m not high maintenance.” you tell him, ignoring the fact that you haven’t been on an actual date for so long you’re almost sure you’ve forgotten how to be in one.

“I know it’s cheesy and corny but I do think it’s still in the littlest things, you know?” you sigh. Trying to remember the last relationship (date even) you had wherein those little things, the ones that are merely the bare minimum, were actually given to you.

“You know, it’s not much, really. Maybe just a good talk without having to watch him watch me talk all night when he’s really thinking about how I’d look naked, you know what I mean?” you laugh it off, “I know, it’s stupid.”

The arrogant man sitting before you was silent for once, profusely wanting to wash the pool of melancholy he sees in your eyes. There must have been a shit ton of guys who overlooked how great of a woman you actually are just because they couldn’t stop thinking with the head in between their legs even just for a second.

Mathew knows. And he hates that he’s been ‘that’ guy at some point. Probably until now considering him thinking with his balls on was the very thing that got the two of you here in the first place.

You take a deep breath, smiling. “Anyway, that’s better than almost getting with a married man. Right?”

“Right.” Mat laughs, his gray eyes bright under all the lights as he plays with his silverware,— devoid of how much he looked like as if he was utterly and undeniably in awe of not just the energy of the woman sitting in front of him alone nor the fact that she was by far the most unbelievable woman he’s known, but most importantly, he’s yet to realize how much in deep he’s beginning to be for the woman she actually were.

Just as she is.

𖥸

You left the diner a good hour before the sunrise and what must have been a quick five minute drive if you had only taken a cab, became a twenty minute foot race between you and Mathew.

You knew that walking was a bad idea but somehow, Mat’s charm and persuasive antics had a better hold than you thought you had on your very capable cognition.

As you drag your feet into the confines of the elevator in your complex, you hear Mathew chuckling behind you with a firm hand securely placed on your waist supporting your balance.

“You know— and not just ‘cause I’m an athlete, can I just say that you’re in a very bad shape?” he says almost a whisper in your ear, his voice low and deep.

You roll your eyes, leaning on the steel cold mirror once he pulls away, “You do it in heels then tell me who’s in a bad shape.”

“Fair point.” he chuckles yet again, shying away. He presses the number for your floor before resting across from you. As Mat watches you catch your breath, he jokes in the hopes of breaking the ice between the two of you.

“So…” he clicks his tongue, playful eyes looking at you, “Wanna tap?”

Disgusted to your very core, you let out a scoff just as you shake your head. “You’re fucking sick.” you laugh upon meeting his dumb grinning face. Seconds into laughter, Mat’s silence kills off the humor. The two of you exchange glances, the smiles on your faces receding into quietude.

Mathew didn’t want to end the night letting you in the apartment not knowing what he’s been feeling the moment you’ve let him drag you out for an impromptu night out. And stupid as it was, the only thing he could think of was to slide his foot across the enclosed space embracing the two of you, nudging on your boot. You on the one hand were rather puzzled as to what caused such language. You send him a mental query by arching a brow. He lets his head fall back on the cold metal surrounding the elevator finally deciding to speak his truth.

“I’m glad we get to hang out now. You know, just like friends do.” he genuinely says.

“Me too.” you say, smiling. “I really had fun tonight. Thank you.”

As you meet his eyes, you see a glimmer of softness in his gaze.

“Good thing I got bored, eh?” he says with a smirk.

“Good thing I came back for you.” you reply.

A quiet smile parts from his lips.

“Yeah. I’m glad you did.”

It was a few seconds when you and Barzy parted from your respective walls to meet the sliding doors as it opened on your designated floor. You were pulling him closer by the tie of his coat whilst his hand was instinctively placed on your hips letting him press his body on you. Your faces were inches from each other’s, evident of not wanting to prolong the totally unplanned foreplay that’s about to go down in a communal lift.

But just like every film you’ve watched your whole life, the inevitable cliché befalls the two of you when the next words that filled the enclosed walls you’re currently caged in came from the man who has yet to miss a morning jog.

“What the hell is going on here?”

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal smut #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #hockey fic #nhl fic #hockey smut #letters to barzy #barzzal imagines

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an-emovision · 3 years

Text

❞𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦❞ - 𝕋𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝔸𝕞𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕜𝕚

~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ A/N: Hi! so uhhhh had this in my drafts, im gonna post it and pretend i like it because thats how i roll. I love tamaki so much please. again, art isnt mine, credits to the original artist (idk who it is, if you know then please tell me so i can give credit) neewayz enjoy! Trigger Warnings(s): Fluff(?) ~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ ❞𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜 𝑖 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙❞ --------- You were a very outgoing person, very cheery and kind, always willing to talk to people and make friends. The almost exact opposite of Amajiki and yet he just couldn't seem to stop himself from falling for you. Every day he always found himself stealing glances of you in class, occasionally the two would lock eyes. You'd smile that brilliantly bright smile of yours and make Amajikis stomach do back flips and his heart flutter, he would always turn away before any further contact could be made. On one particular day Nejire had asked you to sit with the big three at lunch, to which you happily agreed to. Amajiki almost had a melt down when Nejire had told him, to which Mirio patted him on the back giving him a "you got this dude!" a grin, and a thumbs up. It made the poor boy feel...slightly better but as you approached them in the cafeteria Amajiki tried his best to keep himself together. Why did you have to be so attractive? how dare you, it was unfair really. He just couldn't take his eyes off you, confidence radiated from your form. Mirio once told him that if he waited to long that someone would steal you, Nejire agreed. You were after all one of the most popular students at UA, not only was your quirk amazing and your fighting skills godly but your looks where beyond words, Amajiki was painfully aware of these facts. "Hi guys!" You grinned and Tamaki almost fainted. "Glad you could join us!" Nejire smiled as she took you by the wrist and dragged you to their lunch table, you couldn't help but giggle at her excitement as she asked you a bunch of questions about you and your quirk. Most of the quirk questions she asked she most likely already knew the answer to, you four being in the same class and all. Nejire took a seat next to Mirio, across from you and Amajiki. "Soooo Y/N...Do you have a crush on anybody?" Nejire asked suddenly, making you choke on the tea you where sipping on. "I-I uh-" You tried to avoid looking at Nejires grinning features, she already knew the answer to her question. Of course you did and it was none other then the boy you where sitting next to, you didn't answer her question, simply coughed and continued to sip on your drink. She sucked her teeth, unsatisfied with your answer, if you could even call it that. Mirios eyes wandered to Nejire then to Tamaki who was silently eating his food, his face was beet red at how close you and him were, your shoulders where brushing against each other. Then Mirio looked at you, whos cheeks were dusted with a light shade of pink as you tried to brush off the last conversation topic. He rolled his eyes and had to fight the urge to just blurt out that the two of you should date each other already. Soon the lunch bell rang and it was time to head back to class, Amajiki let out a soft sigh as the four of you started heading to your shared classroom, you and Nejire chatting about a show that she had starting watching recently. Mirio fell behind them a bit so he could walk beside Tamaki. "So, When are you gonna tell them?" He asked, knowing full well that it would take some sort of miracle to get Amajiki to confess to his crush of two years. The shorter gave a small shrug before slipping his hands into his pockets. "I-I don't know...Really i don't think i ever will. " He again let out a gentle, almost sad sigh "I dont think i'm good enough for them, they're so amazing." "Aw come on Tamaki! you're part of the big three!" Mirio gently nudged him with his elbow, to which Tamakjis eyes wandered to the opposite direction. "They think you're awesome" "Well yeah but they're right behind us on the list of top students" Amajiki informed him. It was true, you were almost part of the big three yourself but you ended up failing a test by 6 points and getting knocked to fourth. You didn't mind, you where pretty comfortable in your spot. "What're you guys talkin' about?" Nejire asked, walking backwards and looking at them with the same sweet smile she always had gracing her soft features. "How awesome Y/N is" Mirio patted Amajikis back, making him let out a soft hum. You tilted your head "Oh yeah? im honored." You smiled "You guys are way cooler then i am." Nejire giggled, Tamaki stiffened at her sudden question "So which of our quirks is your favorite, Y/N?" You hummed, tapping your chin for a moment. Tamaki expected you to say Nejires quirk seeing as you two have been friends since you both stepped into class 1-A in your 1st year at UA. "I think Amajikis quirk is the coolest" You smiled to him, Tamaki noticed and then you smiled it was as if your eyes where smiling to, his heart practically exploded, barely able to get out a 'thank you'. You giggled at his shyness, finding it adorable as always. Nejire couldn't help but giggle at the two of you, Mirios grin widened as he two watched you to. "Nice choice Y/N" Nejire smiled as she took you by the hand as you four made it to class, seeing as you and her sat next to each other she lead you to your seats, ready to take on the rest of your day you sat down as class began. As the end of the day rolled around you stretched as you made your way to the front of your dorm building. You had some homework to do as well as some studying, then you thought you could train a bit then- You had bumped into someone, not to hard it just startled you a bit as you where to deep in thought, planning out the rest of your day. You quickly bowed "I'm so sorry I wasn't paying atten-...Amajiki? what're you doing here?" You had bumped into Tamaki, not only that but he was standing in front of your dorm room. "O-Oh I uh- I-I" He stumbled harshly through his words, on top of that he was mumbling. You noticed a small piece of folded paper in his slightly trembling hands and smiled, just as you noticed it he stopped mumbling and actually spoke up a bit. "I-I just- I wanted t-to give this to you" he held out the slip of paper, avoiding eye contact with you at all costs. You gently took the paper from him but before you could get another word out he scurried down the hall and disappeared around the corner. You watched him leave, letting out a small chuckle before unlocking your door and walking in, closing the door behind you with your foot and gently setting your school bag down. The day before, after class Mirio had suggested to Amajiki that he should write you a letter if he couldn't just out right tell you. "Like...A love letter?" Tamaki tilted his head. He didn't know how he felt about that, his writing skills weren't bad he just dreaded having to wait for your response, not only that but even considering rejection as a factor made him wanna puke. "Don't worry, i'm like 90% sure that even if they do reject you they'll be nice about it" Mirio gave a thumbs up as he finally convinced Amajiki to start on the letter that could make or break him. It was a huge deal, you were his first ever crush and he never thought in a million years he would be confessing to you. "They're nice about everything" Tamaki mumbled as he continued to write his letter. Miro chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Exactly, you have nothing to worry about." Tamaki wondered why he was so confident about this, maybe Mirio knew you would turn him down? Thinking about that being a possibility created a pit of nervousness in his stomach. Really it was the opposite, Mirio knew you would say yes, he was just excited to finally see his favorite ship finally become a couple. Back to the present you took a seat on your bed before unfolding the note and beginning to read it. Your eyes where wide as saucers when you finished reading it, the final sentence replaying in your mind at least a hundred times "Will you go out with me?"Butterflies invaded your stomach and your cheeks flushed, you decided to give him your answer tomorrow, wanting it to sink in that the boy you've had a crush on since the dawn of time liked you back. Amajiki was dying in his room as he awaited your answer, Mirio who had come over to study with him was laughing his ass off at the boys struggle. The next day you where standing in front of Amajikis dorm room with both Mirio and Nejire at your side, they had their phones out ready to take pictures of this momentous occasion. You took a deep breath before gently knocking on his door three times, it took him a moment or two before he opened the door, he immanently stiffened as he locked eyes with you. Bracing himself for rejection he waited for it but all he heard were the words he had been wanting to hear for the past two years "I like you to Amajiki" Nejire squealed and clapped as Mirio laughed "finally oh my god" Mirio said crossing his arms. Amajiki stood frozen, having to register what just happened, after coming to the conclusion that the love of his life did indeed just agree to date him he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline and pulled you towards him by the wrist, placing his slightly quivering lips against your silky smooth ones. Nejire practically screamed as she took about a thousand pictures, Mirio looked away jokingly acting disgusted but he couldn't hold back his happiness for his friends, they found love and he was beyond proud of Amajiki for going through with his plan. Your eyes where wide and your face was crimson by the time Amajiki pulled away. He started to apologize profusely as he realized what he just did, which resulted in you having to tell him it was fine over and over again. The two where walking together hand in hand as you made your way to class, as shy as he may be he still wanted everyone in the world and their mother know that you belonged to him now and nothing walking this Earth was going to change that.

#tamaki amakiji #mha tamaki #tamaki x y/n #bnha amajiki #bnha x reader #x reader #mha x y/n #x y/n #tamaki x reader #fluff #bnha fluff #fanfiction #ff #tamaki ff #tamaki amajiki x reader

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discotechque · 3 years

Text

some kind of secret I will share with you

pairing: atom eve/female! reader word count: 1.1k rating: T

anyways bisexual eve bc im projecting the internalized homophobia i went thru as a pre teen

Atom Eve does not like girls, it does no good to meddle between labels and meet somewhere in the middle that will only provoke questions. So saying she can indulge with men is far from what she actually means to say. She can love them, there's no doubt about it, but there's something more.

She can remember the third grade, kissing her friend's cheeks and squeezing pudgy flesh between fingers. Samantha Eve Wilkins likes girls, enjoys the way they flush under her polite stare and hold their breath as she innocently tucks hair behind their ears. At eight, she knows what the little thump in her chest in her means and she ignores it. Always stopping it before it goes a half too far, but she lets it go when she joins Teen Team.

She first looks at Rex, towering over the others with gangly limbs, and he returns a lazy half smile in her direction. Then her eye catches yours, bored and wandering off from introductions, maybe it's the subtle indifference in your demeanor she's attracted to. Yet, you're no different ( simply a temptation she has to overcome ) and her gaze tears away to stare back at Rex.

And she dates him because in her mind, it's that simple ( and it's meant to be ). Just the way her parents were, vowing to care for each other as man and woman because any other pairing rubs the wrong way. It's what she was taught and it rings true amongst eras so it's why she avoids you.

If she lets her heart go on for a half a beat too long, she would regret whatever else she would pursue.

She sits on the roof one night, hearing your laugh meld into one of Kate's many clones. Something you said must've been funny but she doesn't care, she's funny too ( even if her sarcastic quips garner more groans than chuckles ). Eve does this too often, avoiding your presence like the plague, afraid that you'll infect her with something she wasn't prepared for.

Because even if she is not all knowing, she has answers and she is prepared. It's why Mark asks her for advice and she's the supposed leader of this small team. If does not have answers, she has nothing and the thought crushes her like no other.

"Avoiding me again, Sam?" your voice echoes across the sea of a cricket symphony, all the noises looping around the shell of her ear. She doesn't like her birth name, it doesn't sound natural ( but it's like your lips was made for it ).

Yet, it's still a chore to correct and her sighs sound vexed, "It's Eve. Atom Eve at work,"

Still, you don't push it; not like he does. Instead, regret contorts your features, "Sorry, I got shit manners and a shittier memory." she thinks this might be the end of the conversation but you choose to sit next to her.

Another annoyed sigh leaves her and if you notice it, you don't comment on it. "But you didn't answer the question."

It's because she doesn't want to if she's honest with herself ( and that's not a rare occurrence, rather she just chooses to ignore it ). There are many things Eve would rather not admit like how much her gaze gravitates towards your dull expression rather than her boyfriend's and how she likes the calloused pads of your fingertips pressing against her skin because she knows how much touch relieves you of stress. So many things she isn't willing to be honest about, so many of those things revolve around you.

You sigh, copying her signature move but yours sounds far more intense. Her eyes flicker towards you, you're looking away. "I mean, you don't have to tell me an answer because I don't care—"

"You really know how to charm a girl,"

"I don't care about why, just wanna know if you're okay."

Her breath catches in the back of her throat and she nearly coughs, "If I'm okay?"

That thought doesn't normally leave your head. Even if the world were to crumble and erode into a bittersweet void, she's sure you wouldn't ask anybody about their well-being. Still, you're there acting like you care and babbling on as if you're oblivious to the way you make her feel. This flush she was only used to witnessing on others and the thrumming bouncing against her ears.

As you can't hear the way she silently cries for your presence.

"Listen, I know I'm not like Mother Tereasa—"

"Y'know, she's not a saint either,"

"Listen, please," and she recedes, a shaky smile crossing your features in gratitude. Maybe you're just as anxious as her ( she wishes, at least ), "I'm not a saint like you said and I'm aware of it, so if you're avoiding me then I must've been an asshole or something. So I don't know what I did but it must've been bad enough to avoid me. I'm sorry, like super duper fucking sorry."

She didn't expect and apology, those are far and few when it comes to you. Always the one to be right, always taking charge and never the blame, always having to be the loudest one. Yet, you're so earnest to earn her grace again and she doesn't know what to say ( doesn't know if it's appropriate to feel the way she does ).

But she holds your hand, like she's done countless times with Rex but this is different. ( Do you feel it too?) Mumbling first, "This is gonna sound cheesy; it's not you, it's me. I've been going through some stuff and it made me single you out."

You grip her hand tightly, enough pressure from it to feel as if you were trying to cradle something so small you couldn't dare hurt it. Her eyes trail down at your hand before looking up, unprepared to be caught within your solemn stare. "We're friends, Eve, you can talk to me about anything."

She wish this stopped at friends, then the word wouldn't sting as much. Still, you are as oblivious as you are stubborn and it's the little things like that have her unfurling at the sight.

"Not this, but I'll tell you if I'm ready. Promise."

"I just want you to feel safe around me, dude,"

"I do," she just doesn't know how to say it. Doesn't know if you can tell from the way her palm seamlessly fits within yours and she's left without words by a simple hold.

"I'll always be here, can't swear it'll be all good though."

"But you'll try," and that's all she ever really wants from someone.

A grin encasing your lips, stronger than the last and still gently caressing her hand within yours. "Yeah, I will."

All she ever wanted was you. ( Do you know that? )

#perhaps we do live in an age of technology and progression but it's still easy to warp kids minds #i actually had a lot of fun writing this even though the topic is kinda serious but i just needed to project #im ending the mark and eve agenda !!! eve belongs with me !!#me thinks im more in love with eve than i first thought #anyways eve is not a cheater in this (maybe a little emotionally) but she is yearning and confused !!#ch: eve wilkins #samantha eve wilkins #atom eve #invincible #eve wilkins x reader #atom eve x reader #invincible x reader #invincible imagines #julianscribbles #female reader

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tommysparker · 3 years

Text

Never Forget You [Chapter 4]

A/N: hey y’all. just wanna say sorry for the posting schedule change. life is about to get hella hectic with school and the move sooo yeah. every second Saturday I will be posting! it’ll defiantly give me a chance to write more as well so im not rushing out chapters. anyways ive rambled long enough, enjoy :)

Warnings: angst. theres fluff too but its fluffy angst?? im not sorry hehe. long italic paragraphs = flashbacks.

From an outside perspective, one would assume the four of them were deep in thought, perhaps even communicating telepathically via the Force. They would only be half correct, as all of the Jedi were indeed thinking, but none of their trains of thought overlapped.

Anakin and Ahoska were in the pilot seats, glancing at each other every other minute or so. They could feel the tension build thicker with every passing planet. The only sound filling the room was the faint running of the engine that kept the ship moving.

You and Obi-Wan sat across from each other, neither one daring to make eye contact. Apparently, he was quite serious about the “not speaking from now on” agreement. It’s for the best, you kept telling yourself. However, the awkward silence that filled the ship made it harder to believe that.

Out of all the things that could happen to you at the moment, this was by far the worst.

On Gyfil, you had grown quite used to the sound of silence. In fact, over time you began to prefer it as opposed to the buzz of the towns. However, this was a different type of silence, one that had you bouncing your knee in anticipation for Anakin to announce you finally landed.

Master Yoda had called you all for a mission briefing. There was a supposed Separatist group meeting on Ostor, given the intel you received from a client on your previous mission. The four of you were sent to listen in on it.

“Young Skywalker and Padawan Tano, back up you will be. Great risks on Ostor, there are. Careful, you must be.” He turned to Obi-Wan and You. “Master Y/l/n, guide them you must do. In charge of the mission, I am putting you.”

A sense of pride filled your body but you quickly humbled yourself. “Thank you Master.”

Master Yoda smiled and turned to Obi-Wan. “Infiltrate the meeting, you and Master Y/l/n will. Stay together, you must.”

Obi-Wan would have laughed at the irony. Mentally he still is. Stay together, you must. After the last conversation between the two of you, he had doubts about how that plan would go. However, for the sake of the mission he was willing to lift the deal made.

You stood quietly, not being able to handle the loud silence any longer. “I’ll be in my quarters until we land,” you announced, making a point not to look at Obi-Wan and keep all attention to Anakin and Ahsoka.

You left without sparing a glance back.

He waited until you were out of view to let out a long sigh, running a hand over his beard and hunching forward.

Anakin was the first to speak. “That was the worst thing I’ve ever had to endure.” His shoulders shook as he made a disgusted sound. “Glad it’s finally over.”

“Just focus on getting us there in one piece, Anakin,” Obi-Wan snapped, immediately followed by, “apologizes, I didn’t mean to sound so...aggressive.”

“So much for being able to hide stress, huh?”

He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Some things are harder to deal with than others.”

“Is Master Y/l/n ‘some things’?” Ahoska asked innocently.

Obi-Wan pondered for a minute, deciding the best way to answer. “Master Y/l/n is...many things.”

“Like what?”

Gorgeous. Strong. Kind. Perfect in every way. “They are highly skilled, almost as well as I am, if not better. A fine Jedi and a valuable member to the Order.” He stopped there before he’d say something he’d come to regret. Best to keep professional thoughts.

“I still don’t understand why the Council sent them away like that. Surely there were other Jedi that could have completed the mission,” Anakin commented. He knew his former Master wasn’t satisfied with the answer they were all given but would never admit it. He had to push him to find the truth.

“Whatever reasons Master Yoda and Master Windu had for picking Y/n are between them. You must stop questioning the Council’s intentions, Anakin. It will land you in very big trouble one day.” Obi-Wan says as if he hasn’t second guessed the Order as a whole before. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. The less you question things, the easier life is.

“That’s why I keep you around, old man,” Anakin said in a teasing manner. Hearing Obi-Wan let out a light chuckle made him feel a bit better as they settled into silence once more, this time more comfortable and light-hearted.

A bit more time had passed before Ahsoka spoke up. “Why don’t you ask Master Y/l/n what really happened?”

Obi-Wan sighed. He should have known better than to believe she would drop the topic. Like Master, like Padawan. “It’s none of my business. Frankly, it’s none of ours so I suggest we leave the subject alone.”

His answer, apparently, wasn’t good enough. “I’m gonna go ask them.” Ahsoka stands up to leave but is stopped mid-movement by Obi-Wan’s protests.

“No!” He looked at Ahsoka’s slightly stunned face, and chose to ignore Anakin’s smug look. “Fine, I’ll ask them. But only once, and if they don’t want to indulge me then that is the end of it. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

Meanwhile, you sat alone on the bed in your chosen quarters. It made you feel relaxed, in a way. Before leaving, you were extremely extraverted, always going out of your way to make acquaintances with everyone around you. The life forces around you at night kept you alive, it gave a sense of warmth and comfort to lull you to slumber. On Gyfil, there was none of that. You had to rely on your own warmth to comfort yourself to sleep. No lush trees or animals to provide even the smallest bit of connection. It was just You and the Force. Sleeping for the first time in the Jedi Temple after returning felt like a sensory overload. Everything was loud, and rough. You could feel it coursing through your veins at the speed of light. No matter what you did, it was too much.

You didn’t sleep the first few days. Eventually you got used to the noise, but not enough to get a decent amount of rest at night. There was one sound that sometimes made it impossible to sleep, one Force signature that kept trying to break through the walls you put up to protect yourself when you’re most vulnerable. What scared you the most was the fact your own signature subconsciously fought back against the walls you put. You refused to acknowledge it, choosing to fall into a deep meditative slumber and stay alert as opposed to any actual sleep. Whoever it was would not get into your head so easily.

Knock knock. Obi-Wan stepped into the room once his presence was made known, gently shutting the door behind him. “Y/n…”

You looked up and squinted at him. “I thought we agreed to not speak?”

“Yes, well, that proves to be a bit tricky now doesn’t it?” He smiled tightly and crossed his arms over his chest.

You huffed out air in a sorry attempt at a sarcastic laugh, shaking your head a little. “What do you want, Obi-Wan?”

It was neither hostile nor endearing. It was simply his first name. To him you sounded tired, and judging by the way you sat on the cot, leaning back against the cold metal wall with your eyes half opened, he presumed his assumption was correct. He spoke gently, “Anakin estimates we should be coming out of hyperspace and landing soon.”

“I figured.” It wasn’t your intention to be stoic but that's how you’ve been training yourself to speak to the man in front of you. The faster the conversation ends, the faster he leaves.

Obi-Wan, however, was not having it. “How are you feeling? I know it hasn’t been that long since you returned from your previous assignment.”

You shrugged, staring up at the ceiling. “I’m fine.”

“No one who says that is ever truly ‘fine’ Y/n/n,” he says, taking a step closer to the bed. “I know you. What’s on your mind, darling?”

You slowly met his gaze, debating whether to open up or keep yourself closed off. On one hand, the idea of exposing your anxieties to someone didn’t feel right to you, letting someone know about your weaknesses and insecurities. However, you knew in order for the mission to succeed you would have to be willing to work with Obi-Wan and to do that a sense of trust had to be built. Rebuilt, technically.

“If you wish not to speak, I understand.” He hesitated turning his back to you, “excuse me.” He was about to make his leave before you interrupted.

“Obi-Wan, wait,” You sighed, shifting so there was room for him to sit on the bed. “Sit.”

He did as he was told, eyeing you carefully. “Honestly, I don’t mean to pry.”

“It’s fine.” You knew his intentions and as pure as they were you cannot bring yourself to tell him the truth. “I admit that I...am slightly concerned about the mission.”

It wasn’t the answer Obi-Wan was hoping for, but he was willing to hear anything he could get out of you. “You have nothing to be worried about Y/n/n. You’re an extremely capable Jedi and I have no doubt in my mind you will lead us through it.”

You smiled, only slightly but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled back.

Your eyes locked tight with each other, and everything around you became emptiness. A void surrounded you both and the presence of the other was all that could be felt.

“Staring competitions are pointless.” You rolled your eyes, sitting up straight and attempting to return your meditative state.

“No they aren’t!: Obi-Wan argued from his spot across from you.

“All you do is stare at each other until someone blinks. Waste of time.”

“Nuh uh. Master Qui-Gon told me that--” Obi-Wan stood up, “--‘The eyes are a window to the soul’--” you laughed at the bad attempt he made to mimic his Master;s voice, “--therefore staring competitions can be a very good battle tactic.”

“Jedi don’t do battles, remember? We’re peacekeepers.” You looked up at your friend. “Besides, you just want an excuse to get lost in my eyes.”

Obi-Wan grinned. “You know me so well.”

So much has changed about the man in front of you, you could hardly recognize him. You never allowed yourself the pleasure to examine what you missed out on. One moment he was a young man who looked like he could take on the universe, and now all you could see was one tired man doing his best. Oh, how the mighty have fallen, is what the old You would have teased. But post-living-ten-years-by-yourself You was different. In a way, you understood. Although you didn’t fight any life-threatening battles and put yourself in the line of fire every week, you have worked tirelessly towards the same goal.

Peace.

Like this moment.

For once, it was quiet. You felt yourself relax slowly, focusing on the one noise that soothed your anxious mind. It felt warm and...close. Something you haven’t felt in a long, long time.

Obi-Wan leaned closer, his heart reacting faster than his brain. He felt a warmth he had been longing for over a decade. When he reached out, he no longer felt desolate. He wanted to hold on to the feeling and never let go.

But alas in time of war, small moments of peace only last for so long.

“Hey! We’re here.”

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