#and inspired by people like me who don’t have a clue what they’re doing but just there for the ride

[steddieas-shegoes]

Steve was doing this for Robin.

He had to keep telling himself this. He could get through the day, the weekend, life, if he just kept repeating this to himself.

But an hour into their day, his pants ripped.

Not in a place it can be hidden, not a small one.

Right along his ass.

And because Robin insisted he’d be fine, he didn’t bring a bag with a change of clothes.

He could buy some, sure, if he wanted to spend $60 on special convention sweatpants that would be entirely too hot, unflattering, and ruin the costume Robin insisted he wear to match hers.

He was hiding in the bathroom currently, furiously texting Robin to let her know he was just going to stay there until it was time to leave.

She’d be mad at him, but she’d be more mad at herself for not letting him bring a change of clothes.

His pants weren’t even tight. Luke Skywalker doesn’t exactly wear tight clothes. He had no reason behind the rip other than the universe just hating him as much as possible.

Robin told him she would find someone to help, whatever that means, but he didn’t think that was possible without just buying new pants.

He stood in the corner of the continuously crowded bathroom, trying not to draw attention, but knowing it was incredibly odd to just stand in the corner of a public bathroom.

Ten minutes passed and a guy walked in with a backpack and a sign that says “Free Cosplay Repair” and Steve knew what Robin had done.

The man was pretty, and not dressed up, but seemed like he wished he was. Maybe it was difficult to repair if he was wearing some elaborate costume.

Steve didn’t know how this worked.

“Are you Steve?”

Steve nodded.

His voice was calming, and Steve instantly trusted him to fix the problem.

“Heard you’ve got a bit of a problem with the costume. Big or small?”

“Uh. Pretty big, man.”

“Ah. Tear along the ass, then. Happens all the time.”

He set his backpack down and started rummaging through the front pocket. When he pulled out a sewing kit, Steve realized he was going to have to get this fixed in a public bathroom with this very attractive man staring at and touching his ass for who knows how long.

“Um.”

“It’ll be better if you can take them off. I’ll be able to sew it much faster.”

Steve couldn’t just stand around in his boxers. That was not part of the plan or the agreement with Robin. People were coming and going from the bathroom at a rapid rate.

“Is there somewhere private we can go?”

“Awww, Stevie, feeling shy?”

Steve’s face was beet red. He was feeling a little shy, and being called out on it by a hot guy kind of made him think about being called out on other things in other ways and his brain was not doing well.

“My name’s Eddie. I come with my friend Chrissy to a bunch of these every year. We have a tent set up on the show floor for privacy, but you’d have to walk to it. I could walk behind you if you want?”

“Oh. Okay. Um. Sure.”

It was better than standing half naked in this bathroom.

So they left, and Eddie stayed right behind him, covering him from possible exposure to the growing crowd.

He would lean forward and direct him to the tent every few seconds, leaving goosebumps behind from how close he got to his ear to be heard.

When they arrived, Chrissy was finishing up with supergluing something to a mask. Eddie touched her shoulder and whispered something to her. She rolled her eyes and smiled at him before turning back to the person she was helping.

Eddie nudged Steve into their tent.

“Alright, shouldn’t take too long. Take them off, Luke.”

Steve rolled his eyes but followed directions. The faster this was done, the faster he could get back to Robin, who was probably so deep into the crowd by now that he’d never find her anyways.

Maybe he should just stay here. Learn to sew. Become a part of their traveling repair team.

They seemed nice enough.

Eddie got started immediately, and Steve was grateful for the privacy the tent provided. He sat down on a stool they had set up in the corner and put his hands in his lap, covering as much of himself as he could. He was definitely not confident in this place.

He’d embraced that he liked some nerdy things. He was fine with it.

But he was way out of his element here.

“You come to these a lot?”

“No. Just supporting my friend.”

“Explains not being as prepared as the pros.”

“I did try to be. My friend said I’d be fine. Don’t know why I listened to her.”

Eddie snorted. “She a friend or a…friend?”

Steve laughed so loudly, Eddie jumped. “Sorry. She’s very much not straight and I am very much not interested.”

“Is she Leia?”

“Yeah.”

“Everyone will assume you’re together, you know?”

“Yeah, well. She said I had to and I owed her.”

“Must’ve done you a big favor.”

“You could say that.”

Eddie’s hands were moving quickly, and Steve couldn’t help watching in amazement.

“How long have you been doing this?”

“What? Sewing? Or conventions?”

“Both.”

Eddie smiled while he worked.

“Sewing since I was 11. I was in charge of fixing my and my uncle’s clothes since we couldn’t really afford new ones unless I outgrew them. Then in high school I did costumes for drama and cheerleaders. That’s how I met Chrissy. She was a secret nerd so she took me to a convention and I saw too many people crying over broken and torn cosplays so I started doing this.”

“For free?”

“Yeah. I already had most of the supplies on hand and I’m not using them all so why not?”

“That’s really…kind.”

He saw Eddie’s cheeks blush, but he didn’t comment.

Maybe he’d gain some upper hand here despite being half naked in a tent with a stranger.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“It kind of is, man. Just take the compliment. It’s really selfless.”

“Okay. Yeah. I guess. Thanks.”

They settled into a comfortable silence and Steve really took in the tent. There were things hanging up that he vaguely recognized as D&D monsters from Dustin’s room.

“Hey, the kid I babysit is into that.”

“What?”

“The dungeons game.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! I think he even has that exact print in his room.”

“No shit? I made these. I have an Etsy shop.”

“You’re kidding. He’s gonna freak out that I met you.”

“Well, shit. Take one for him.”

“Oh, I couldn’t do that.”

“Yeah you could. I’m not letting you leave until you do.”

Steve felt his heart flutter.

Dustin was like his little brother and he loved him so much. Any time someone did something kind for him, it melted his heart.

He didn’t have time for feelings for a stranger.

Not at a convention where he was the outcast.

“I guess if you insist.”

“I do.”

Steve was a fucking mess. Emotionally, he was the type to get really attached really quickly. It’s why all of his relationships ended within weeks. He was ready to be completely committed and they never were. He fell hard and fast for anyone who showed him even a tiny bit of interest.

He had to get out of this tent.

“I’m not rushing you, but how much longer?”

“I’m almost done. Few more minutes. Doing okay?”

“Yeah. Just wanna find Robin.”

“Text her to meet you here. She knows where it is.”

“How would she know that?”

“I’ve met her a few times at other conventions and she always stops by to say hello.”

Robin knew this guy?

Suddenly, he realized what was going on.

She was setting him up.

“Take your time. She can wait.”

Eddie slowed his hands and looked up at Steve.

“Uh. Okay.”

“She’s a traitor who did this to me on purpose.”

“Ripped your pants?”

“Yes.”

Eddie stopped what he was doing completely.

“She ripped your pants on purpose? How would she have done that?”

“She pulled a seam out or something.”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because she’s trying to set us up.”

“Us?!”

“Yep. Sorry. I promise I don’t expect anything. She just does this sometimes. Thinks I’m lonely or whatever.”

Eddie searched his face for a minute, then looked back down at his work.

“Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Lonely.”

Well, yeah. Robin didn’t get the assumption from nowhere. But he didn’t really want to admit that to a stranger.

“Yeah, I guess.”

Apparently, he was going to anyways.

“Hm.”

“Hm?”

“Mhm.”

Steve huffed out a breath.

Eddie stood suddenly and came over to Steve, pushing his shoulder back and his legs apart so he could fit between them.

Eddie’s hand cupped his chin, pulling it up so he could look at him.

Steve gulped.

He was feeling more than vulnerable at this point and wasn’t sure what to do about it.

“Your friend must really love you to want to make sure you aren’t lonely.”

“Um. Yeah.”

“You know, I’m taking a lunch break in about an hour if you wanna hang around. I could use some company.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. One condition though.”

“What’s that?”

“You take the pants off again.”

Steve laughed and Eddie couldn’t help the smile he aimed down at him.

“You want me to eat in just my boxers?”

“Well, not just your boxers. That’ll be later at the hotel.”

God, this guy was good. Smoother than Steve’s ever been and he was known for his charming nature for years.

“You think I’ll come back to your hotel?”

“I know you will.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I only temporarily fixed these pants. The stuff you need is back at my room.”

“What if I don’t care about the pants?”

“All the more reason to leave them off when you come to my room.”

They smiled at each other.

Steve felt brave. He felt a little ridiculous. Most of all, he felt like he couldn’t pass up the opportunity literally staring him in the face.

He leaned up a bit more and waited for Eddie to lean down.

When their lips met, Steve knew he was completely fucked.

Robin had fucked him over and he’d never been so grateful.

#steddie #Steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #tumblr drabbles #inspired by the amazing people who walk around conventions fixing cosplay for free #and inspired by people like me who don’t have a clue what they’re doing but just there for the ride #I wrote this in my car in a parking garage in Orlando lmao #sorry for typos or if it feels ridiculous and rushed #it’s because it is

[anonymous-dentist]

Honestly? I think everything goes back to the night Cellbit found out that he and Bagi are siblings, because several things happened that night:

Cellbit admitted that he killed Maximiliano the Worker and that he liked it

Cellbit found out he’s missing 11 or so years of his life and that he could’ve had a happy childhood with an actual family who loved him if the Federation hadn’t sent him away

Bagi told Cellbit that she’d be there for him even if he started killing again

Cellbit got confirmation that Bad kidnapped that missing worker

Cellbit also made a very important point: the Federation is spreading itself thin trying to find this missing worker

Cellbit told Bad that his proposed revolution would not exclude regular Federation workers unless they betrayed the Federation because, if they don’t, then they’re complicit in the Federation’s wrongdoings

And now we’re here with four dead Federation workers and a Federation clearly struggling to keep things under control, and I think that that’s the point. The Federation has spread itself too thin.

We saw this even in Cucurucho’s presentation during the Mini-Me event when it basically admitted that the Feds have no idea what happened to the president. And then we have the Mini-Mes themselves: they’re clearly meant to be protection of some kind for the workers because they can fight at certain levels, and they’re at least meant to be assistants. This was before the killings started, but it was after the Federation’s lower-rank workers started legit just not doing their jobs because they were too scared of getting kidnapped.

Cellbit has a history of taking people’s plans and adapting them to make them his own. His Regret Arc and subsequent Federation infiltration was directly inspired by hearing Quackity try and join the Feds and then Quackity telling him that to beat the Federation, you have to think like the Federation. And now we have Cellbit and Bad talking about how the Federation is creating openings in itself by expending so many resources trying to get the missing worker back, and we can already see the effects of the murders kinda making the Federation even weaker because, and no offense to Foolish, but they’ve legit had to outsource their murder investigation to him instead of using their own staff of A Rank investigators and Security Guards.

If this is Cellbit killing these people, he’s doing it to try and break the Federation to the point of the island’s rebels being able to actually hit the Feds where it hurts and try and take them down. He said himself that he already had an idea as to how to get an opening for his little revolution idea, and he told Bad that it would happen within a week of their conversation. The first body appeared four or five days later.

Cellbit is tired. We know this. He says that he wants to spend time with his family, but he’s also got one hell of a martyr complex going on where he thinks he’s better off dead than he is alive if it means helping people. We’ve seen this in him for months between him running for president to die for Forever, him legitimately banking on getting killed by the Federation during a hypothetical custody trial to get everyone to see how bad the Feds are, him blowing himself up to prove a point, him taking all the fall for the Mini-Me infiltration and accepting the punishment that’ll go with it, and maybe now we’re seeing it in him killing these workers and leaving clues pointing towards it being him.

Cellbit could be killing these workers to start a revolution that he’ll never see finished because he might be expecting to die before the end of it.

#qsmp #started this post last night and here it is

[dandelionprints]

More Than Enough

(Tommy Shelby One Shot)

As some of you will know if you’ve seen any of my posts, I’ve not had any motivation to write and have really felt my inspiration dwindling on a daily basis. I had a little bit of that motivation come back to me this evening so I thought I’d use it to write this short one shot. It was quite hard to write as I feel like my self belief is at a low right now so I was questioning myself a lot when writing it but fuck it, I’ve finally completed a WIP after weeks of not writing, I hope you enjoy!

Day had slowly turned into night in what had felt like only a matter of minutes in your bedroom, the only light now coming from the fireplace and a lamp that was lit on your desk. The comfort of the fire warmed you as the air grew cold.

Piles of invitations were laid upon the wooden surface with various addresses to the wealthiest people within England and Scotland. This charity ball had better get you a lot of fucking money after all the time you’d put into it, not to mention the cramp that was now very apparent in your fingers.

“Come to bed love, it’s getting late”, Tommy whispered against your shoulder before moving the strap of your nightie to the side and gently laying a kiss on your bare skin.

“I will my love, I’ve just got a few…”, you began, getting cut off swiftly by an exasperated sigh from your husband that caught you off guard.

“Y/N, you’ve been at this for hours, you need to get some rest. I would also like to spend some time with my wife. Please, come to bed”

You turned to look at him standing there in just his boxer shorts, a look of pleading in his expression. Those eyes of blue almost boring right through you, making you melt like they had the first day you’d made contact with them.

You sighed feeling guilty, “I know, Tom. But if I don’t do it then who the fuck will? They’re meant to be delivered to everyone tomorrow and I feel like if they’re not perfect then I’ll be judged even more than I already am”

A wave of insecurity swept over you unexpectedly. Fuck you hated that feeling, never feeling like the life you’d married into was something you deserved. The money, the big house, the handsome gangster husband. None of it.

“Who do you think is judging you, the people invited?”, his eyebrow raised as he took a step toward you, kneeling at your side, “don’t take any notice of what they say, they’re all twats in expensive suits”

You nodded your head and averted his gaze, instead choosing to pick a spot on the floor to focus on.

“I know what they say, Tom. ‘What’s a girl like that doing with a man like him? A former peasant girl who used to have to beg for scraps on the street? She’s probably only with him for the money! Oh, and the maids too, they do everything for her’”

“Who have you heard say that? You tell me and I’ll send Arthur round to have a chat with them, no one talks about my wife like that!”

He stood with his fists balled at his sides, his knuckles white from the tension. Grabbing his arm you pulled yourself up and squeezed him gently, his muscles tight under your grip.

“No! Please don’t, it’s not a big deal”, you used your free hand to bring his face towards yours, “All I’m saying is I’m well aware that they don’t think highly of me. I just want to show them I’m no longer that peasant girl who had to beg for food and money, that I’m capable of organising a charity event and doing as much for it on my own as I can without the help of staff or other influences. I want them to know I work hard, Tom”

He hadn’t taken his eyes off you the whole time you’d been speaking, too fixated on every word you were saying. He brought his hands up to either side of your face and cupped your cheeks.

“You work harder than any of those fuckers that are invited, the only reason they’re on the guest list is cause they have money, and lots of it. They don’t have a clue what shit you went through to end up on the streets or how we met, which if I remember rightly wasn’t when you were still having to sleep in the gutters. They don’t know fuck all about anything, none of them do”, he said, stroking your cheeks with his thumbs.

Bringing your hands up you held onto either one of his wrists, your thumb on the back of his hand.

“I know love, I just want to show I’m enough. Enough to be deserving of this life we’ve built. Enough to be with you when there are so many other beautiful women out there who would drop their knickers for you with just a snap of your fingers”

He chuckled then before his expression turned soft, moving his face closer to yours, hands still cupping your cheeks.

“Darling, you’re more than enough. You always have been”

His lips connected with yours in a soft swoop, holding themselves there for a while before curving up into a smile.

You smiled back feeling a rush of warmth in your chest, the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach making themselves known.

“Now c’mon, bed”

This time you didn’t have a choice in the matter as he swiftly swept you up into his arms and carried you towards the bed. You giggled as you wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin against yours, the signature smell of whiskey and cigarettes moving to your nose.

Placing you down onto the bed he knelt over you and kissed you again, this time with more passion.

“I think it’s time I show you just how wrong those people are, how it’s really me who is unworthy to be with you, Mrs. Shelby”

The firelight continued to flicker, casting shadows around the room, the plans of finishing the invitations now well and truly gone.

Right here in this very moment, in your big expensive house, on the expensive Egyptian cotton bedding beneath you on your expensive four poster bed, the only thing that mattered was that the love of your life truly believed that you had always been enough, no matter what.

————

Tagged: @peakypoet @moral-terpitude @lyarr24 @cillmequick @mrkdvidal1989 @shelbydelrey @alasya16 @tommystargirl @elenavampire21 @adaydreamaway08 @slaypussypop-21 (unable to tag) @bluesongbird @zablife @cljordan-imperium @look-at-the-soul @rangerelik

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby one shot #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x y/n #peaky blinders #cillian murphy

[kaz-oooo]

I’ve already done music recommendations so, you can check out these posts (playlists and list of artists) if you’re looking for that specifically. But Wilbur made a lot of content over the years and idk, i figured I’d make a a list of recommendations for similar content to fill that void as well :)

Minecraft SMP’s (specifically DSMP)

The same SMP’s but other POV’s — I’ll just start with this cos it’s the most iffy. There’s plenty of enjoyment to be had with these fandoms still, and I personally don’t think we need to let the actions of a couple shitty guys ruin the silly Minecraft roleplay we all enjoy. That said, if you aren’t comfy watching these anymore that’s perfectly valid as well, especially since Wilbur’s character will be lurking around in the background of plenty of these. But yeah, we can also uplift other creators by watching the fun stories they made, especially those who got buried by bigger creators at the time. So Dream SMP, QSMP, Origins SMP, SMP earth, SMPlive all have content you can enjoy.

Different, completely unrelated SMP’s — hermitcraft, the life series, empires SMP (shubble was involved in this one, I’m planning on watching her POV when I find some time) etc. I’ve had plenty of people recommend these to me before, from what I’ve seen they’re very enjoyable :)

Hamilton — not even joking, if you enjoyed the L’manberg era of DSMP and you didn’t watch Hamilton, I’d heartily recommend it. Great music, lots of politics but all in a fun and silly way, also tragic endings!

Editor Wilbur ARG (I’m a massive ARG fan so I have tonnes of recommendations here)

Generation Loss — Ranboo’s very awesome Horror project that they’ve been working very hard on!!! Ranboo’s been teasing new content lately as well so that’s exciting

Analog horror series — Local 58, Gemini Home Entertainment, Mandela Catalog, Kane Pixel’s Backrooms videos, etc. All very good and spooky videos, definetely an inspiration for Gen Loss, and I know Wilbur enjoyed this content as well (though the editor Wilbur arg predates a lot of this genre) those are some of the biggest on YouTube atm, and some of my personal favourites, but there’s plenty more to find (I recommend channels like Nightmind and Nexpo who do analysis videos for all this horror and ARG stuff if you wanna find more)

Marble Hornets — gets its own category! One of the original analog horror genres (predated the genre actually) it’s basically one of the biggest and most comprehensive Slenderman series out there. There’s a LOT of content here and lots of lore and mystery (though a lot of the game clues have been lost to time) (Jack Manifold also reacted to this on stream, it was very chill and good fun)

Horror podcasts — Magnus Archives and Magnus Protocol, Malevolent and Archive 81 are some of my favourites, but there’s plenty more out there to find and enjoy :). Also very spooky with lots of mystery to involved, the Magnus Protocol is very new as well so great time to get into that!

Just Chatting / Geoguessr / other chill content

Geoguessr streamers / YouTubers — honestly I genuinely didn’t watch much geoguessr content outside of Wilbur’s streams so, I don’t have many recommendations here. I know Eret has been doing geoguessr streams lately and their content is very good and chill. Jacksuckatlife plays as well and last I watched he was fairly good at it (like similar skill level to Wilbur), otherwise Rainbolt is a geoguessr legend, he terrifies me a little ngl.

Other streamers — I think the thing with the just chatting streams is that we watch for *that specific streamer’s* personality. It’s hard to really make recommendations other than just saying go watch more of the streamers you enjoy. Personally I enjoy Phil’s hardcore streams, and Sneegsnag’s Crime Time the most, but there’s plenty of other people both in this MCYT space and outside of it that you’ll probably enjoy :)

Sorry boys (unlike horror I don’t watch much comedy so, sorry, this’ll be lacking)

Just Roll With It — Charlie Slimecicle’s DND podcast. I’ve only listened to a little bit of this but it’s really good and REALLY silly (oh, and emotional sometimes, gotta have a bit of angst y’know) Wilbur was a guest on a couple of episodes, but you can always skip past those if you want.

Tommy’s videos — so Wilbur features in a lot of the early vlogs and *minecraft but* videos, but Tommy’s content has always been good fun, his recent stuff is excellent as well! He’s been doing a lot of comedy content lately, specifically a live show so definitely check that out if you want :)

Smosh pit — not something I’ve watched a lot of, but I’ve seen clips of their try not to laugh videos and they’re definitely on par with the bat shit improv you get from Sorry Boys.

Game changer — again, not something I’ve watched much, mostly consumed through osmosis, but the show is funny, the cast is always silly and it’s a lot of fun all round

Whatever else Sorry Boys make after this — judging by some of the responses to Wilbur’s “statement” I think it’s fair to assume if Sorry Boys do continue making content Wilbur will be cut from the group. Of course don’t feel obligated to stick around if you don’t want to, but Wilbur won’t be compensated if he’s kicked and the rest of the guys are still fun :)

YLYL and similar goofy stuff

Just… other streamers again — Jack Manifold does YLYL streams with his friends. James Marriott does a lot of reaction videos as well, sometimes YLYL, sometimes reacting to content his viewers send in (like TikTok’s and break up texts), those are my favourites atm.

YouTubers — that niche between video essay and reaction content, people like Danny Gonzales, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner, Pinely, all good fun YouTube channels that make good, silly, and easy to consume content.

Other gaming streamers and YouTubers — Slimecicle, Ranboo, Games Grumps, RT games, and SneegSnag all play a wide variety of games, they’re all relatively chill but none of them take the games all that seriously either so it’s fun and goofy as well :)

And of course Fanfiction!!!

I might be a little bias here cos I write myself but fic is created by and for fans and it exists to give you even *more* content about the stories you love, whether it be reimagining canon events or just dumping your favourite characters into a silly au.

I know a lot of authors (myself included) are feeling super conflicted and weird about writing Wilbur in the future. Plenty of authors have been moving onto new fandoms so if you find something you enjoy make sure you check out the author’s other work and who knows, maybe you’ll find some cool new fandoms that way!

And do the same for artists and other creators, or even go check out some of your mutuals fandoms, you guys might have more in common than you originally thought!

#wilbur soot #dsmp #the sorry boys #editor wilbur arg

[drewsbuzzcut]

Keeping Up With The Barzals

mat barzal x model!fem!reader

a visceral in doses fic (editorial edition)

warnings: mentions being parents, having insecurities, mentions vibrators, early issues in a relationship, hints at sex, and I think that’s all… let me know if I missed something. ALSO: this takes place in 2027, so they only have Nolan!

Appealing, show stopping, the symbol that love doesn’t have to fizzle out with the pressures of success, or the responsibilities of true adulthood. I get the opportunity to interview the most famous couple to ever grace our social media feed. Y/n and Mat open up about their lives in the limelight.

A very pristine woman who isn’t afraid to change things up and dirty her clothes, that’s Y/n (soon-to-be) Barzal. From dominating the catwalks to being the best mom she can be, Y/n is a layered masterpiece. Y/n will go to the ends of the earth for her family. If that means she’s helping organize charity events for her husband's hockey team, or turning away jobs to be present for her son, she’ll do it. When asked about it, she said it’s a major privilege to be able to turn away jobs for her kid’s sake and to be able to help raise money for the Islanders.

As a model who is this generation’s icon, she’s awfully real. There’s no hiding or pretending when it comes to Y/n. In my opinion, that’s what makes her so inspiring and likable to everyone. However, don’t confuse her privacy for lying. There’s been many instances when Y/n had to keep aspects of her life private to protect those she loves. Times when the audience wasn’t too kind about her choice.

“There was a time when many people thought I was never around Nolan when he was an infant. It seemed that everyone got used to me posting little updates on my Instagram story, so when it stopped people were confused. People thought that I just hired a nanny and was never around my son. It hurt to hear those speculations, especially because they were so far from the truth. Nolan got really sick. He was only 6, almost 7 months and he got really sick. Mat and I had no clue how he contracted his sickness, but it was scary for a little while. I stopped working for that time frame, and I followed Mat, with Nolan of course. Mat had to continue working, but I just couldn’t be without him while our baby was going through what he was going through, so I traveled to each location he traveled to. I of course posted Instagram stories and posts, because not all my days were bad, but I didn’t and wasn’t going to post anything about Nolan until he was 100% better.” Y/n goes into detail about one of those incidents where she went quiet about certain things in her life.

“So many people think it’s so easy to be productive and encouraged all the time. I go from personality to personality with each photo shoot I work on. Not because I’m trying to be fake about who I am, but because sometimes photo shoots require you to step out of the person you are, and it’s not always a bad thing, but lines do get blurry and your mind gets foggy. It’s actually easier to get lost in emptiness, trying to get your feet to touch the ground. I think that’s why I try so hard to be open with my supporters. I’m holding myself accountable all at the same time. Becoming a mother definitely helped me with some of the fog. Becoming a mother made me stronger. I’m always being my best self for my son. I am also always being my best self for my husband. They’re everything to me.” Y/n gives us a little insight on what it’s like to experience the not so glamorous side of a fast paced lifestyle.

Aside from being a mother and a model, Y/n is the person who is determined. No one has to write a story about her, because she’s already writing it herself. I’ve never come face to face with someone with such confidence that’s still so humble. Y/n knows how to cook, knows how to style any piece of clothing, knows how to love herself and others selflessly, and most importantly, she can write. If you’re asking why it’s important that she writes when just about anyone can write, I mean Y/n really knows how to write. I am lucky enough to have received early access to the first draft of her very first manuscript. The words this woman can write are amazing. That’s just putting it lightly. It’s important that Y/n is such a phenomenal writer, because she has the chance to share her wisdom and thoughts. I happen to think her thoughts can change, if not the world, at least one person’s life.

“Don’t make me seem like I’m all work and no play. I can be loose around all my edges.” Y/n states as we near the end of our interview. As I said, she’s continuously writing her own story even when my pen stops. After hearing her out, I’ve come to the conclusion that she is the life of the party that every 20-something year olds wants to be. She blazes a fierce trail of being true to her indulgences. If she’s craving an ounce of music to fill her veins, she’ll gather her best pals and partake in a night of clubbing. If she craves a big, private party, she’ll rent a huge yacht and let her girlfriends go wild. There’s no barrier that will contain Y/n. She breaks any bounds because for her, living life isn’t about being uniform or perfect. Being a mom, a role model, or just someone who is responsible won’t stop her from being who she truly is. That’s not to say that Y/n is a big time party girl, or that she doesn’t care about herself or her surroundings. She does care, she just knows when not to.

Before kids, Mat and Y/n had one word to describe their relationship. “Sex.” They both splutter with laughter when they see the shocked look on my face. They assure me that “sex” isn’t the word they’d use, but I don’t think that sex is a lie to get a reaction out of me. It’s easy to see just how strongly they feel about each other. They’re playful and very teasing with one another. It’s all very sensual, though. You can feel the heat they radiate when their eyes connect with each other.

“Our relationship is chaotic. The type of chaos that makes you run in circles, pulling on your hair. The type of chaos that you search for when life loses meaning. The type of chaos that is unexpected, but welcomed and makes you feel alive. It’s scary, but only because it makes you feel so much. ‘Chaos.’ It causes pain and happiness, but the happiness is always there. The chaos makes us strive to be better. It makes our love timeless.” Y/n and Mat answer the question with a sureness that’s rare.

Speaking of being timeless, the envious pair are set to get hitched at the end of May. You may have noticed that they’re already referring to each other as husband and wife.

If you’re looking for tips on keeping things fresh, continue reading.

“We don’t force sexual activity. We also don’t plan it, we just let our feelings do what they do best. I don’t know if that’s because our connection is too strong, or for whatever reason we are usually in sync. Maybe it’s our constant teasing. We never go a day without teasing each other. It makes our touches, our kisses, more intense.” Mat explains.

“We also kiss a lot. We will never not kiss each other if that’s what we feel we should do. Lately, people have gotten used to hiding their affection, but they shouldn’t hide it. Embrace it, unless it really does make you uncomfortable. It’s actually so funny because I know Mat wasn’t really the type of person to be into PDA, but it changed when we got together.” Y/n chimes in.

“Yeah, that’s true. I never cared for PDA, but like Y/n said, when you feel it, you feel it.”

It’s honestly crazy that these two only have one child. When I told them that, they both laughed. Y/n was the first one to tell me that their baby boy would be their only baby for a while. Mat was unsure of her words, but nonetheless agreed with her.

The baby talk sidetracked our initial conversation of intimacy, but this type of intimacy between the small family is actually beautiful. They both went on and on about the throes and joys of parenthood. They were both surprised at the fact they were having a baby so early on in their relationship, but they told me it genuinely made their bond unbreakable.

Looking at the way their eyes always gravitate back towards the other’s, and their lingering touches that soothe their anxieties, it’s easy to see why they’re so desirable. It’s not about Mat being an attractive athlete, or Y/n being the most beautiful model, it’s the way they portray the feelings of love and passion.

Here’s their last relationship tip: “Don’t focus on finding the perfect person, or being the perfect person. Be yourself. I know it’s cliche, but be yourself. If you find THE one, they’ll always love you for who you are. Your passion and affection will never dim. If you’re feeling lonely, don’t settle for someone who doesn’t deserve you, just buy a vibrator.”

The so-called ladies man who turns into a puddle at the sight of his wife, Mat Barzal isn’t who you think he is.

As an athlete whose privacy is a bit more respected than the average celebrity, we needed to do a deep dive on New York’s finest hockey player.

Rising to early stardom, the young hockey player was perceived way before he got the chance to grow up. Different outlets vaguely recalling Mat as the playboy, or even a wasted talent. They had no clue who they were writing about, that much is clear. Mat is wise, something he says he learned from Y/n, and he’s not some egotistical man, looking for power. Sure, he’s confident in who he is, but that doesn’t make him conceited. He’s actually smart, despite what stigmas have been formed on hockey’s best. He’s not a one track man.

“Hockey has always been a big thing for me. It’s probably one of my biggest accomplishments, winning the cup and just having outstanding numbers, but my accomplishments don’t stop there. I’m proud of the man I’ve become and the father I’ve become. It’s taken a lot to not get crushed under the words and expectations of people on the outside. I still struggle with ignoring the unnecessary noise. Sometimes it seems like no one’s realized that I’ve grown up. To them I’m still a young boy who received too much too fast. I just want to say that I’m not denying that part of me, but that part of me is also stagnant. I’m not a young boy. I’m a man, a man with a wife and son. I know I’m still young in age, but certainly not my actions. Don’t get me wrong I’m not some grandpa. I get out, I drink and I sometimes act wild. I also know when to be responsible because I do have a son and a wife, whose reputation can easily be reflected off my own reputation.”

Mat Barzal is someone to be proud of. He’s also someone who many want to be friends with; I don’t blame them.

“My party days? I don’t know if my party days will ever be over. My wife, who’s younger than me, is a smoke show. I want to take her everywhere, show her off. She’s the love of my life, why wouldn’t I want to, you know. She’s also keeping me young and active. She usually doesn’t like to go to parties alone, so I’ve become accustomed to attending them with her. Plus, my teammates know how to throw a party, too. I love going to those and so does Y/n. Ever since having a son, it’s been a little harder to party. If it’s a get together, we’ll most likely bring Nolan along because we know there will be other kids there. And no, we’re not drinking or driving with our son around, or in general. If we have Nolan with us, I won’t drink, just simply enjoy the vibes and get drunk off my wife and see her enjoy herself. If it’s just Y/n and me, it’s a whole different story. We will get drunk together, but we will make sure we have a safe ride home through our car service.”

An all-around easy going guy with a great sense of humor, and an undying love for his wife and son. Hockey does not define this man.

For someone (Y/n) who’s so public about a lot of things, it really throws people for a loop when they’re out of the conversation about their relationship. I don’t even have to ask them about it, I see it all the time on Twitter. There are always questions about what’s going on, or if they’re even still together. The biggest speculation I’ve seen is that their relationship is all PR.

I honestly don’t understand the need for people to immediately demote a relationship to a PR one. It’s actually offensive, to the couple at least. I'm going to say it once, and once only, Y/n and Mat are not a publicity stunt. I feel that most people know that by now that they have a kid together, but if you didn’t know, now you do.

“We never thought our relationship would be such a big deal to many people, but anytime I’m not wearing islanders gear or pictured with barzy in the span of 1 minute, magazines are popping out new headlines by the minute. ‘Y/n and Mat: The Breakup of the Century,’ ‘Y/n no longer engaged to the hockey heartthrob.’ People live for us to say that our relationship is perfect. It’s not. That’s a fact. We’ve had so many issues in our relationship, not that we’d share all of them, but it’d just make everyone go ballistic if they knew. Something as complicated and beautiful as a relationship shouldn’t be dictated or have an opinion formed by people who know nothing about the couple and their history. Mat and I aren’t perfect; a big portion of our relationship has been built on our issues.”

Just because they’re a powerhouse couple, doesn’t mean they don’t have their insecurities. Talking with the couple, I learned a lot about how they feel like they have to hide their true feelings due to being perceived certain ways.

“A lot of fans expect us to be indestructible, yet they’re usually the ones tearing us down. I hate to admit it, but a lot of our fights have stemmed from actions of those watching us online. It’s not that we necessarily believe what they’re saying, but some of it lingers in the back of our minds. We then start to pull away and not talk about the way we feel. It’s going to surprise people when I say that Y/n and I have gone to couple’s therapy so early on in our relationship. It was a hard time that I wouldn’t change because it showed each other that we were in it no matter what. Thick and thin.”

“People might be bothered about what I’m about to admit, but I don’t really care. In the nicest way possible. Anytime I see someone talking negatively about OUR relationship, I post pictures of us. We can be doing the most mundane tasks, or out and about, I will post it to rub it in their face. Is it immature? Sure, to some. In all honesty, who wouldn’t show off their man if they’re as wonderful as barzy is. Sorry that y’all didn’t get to him first,” Y/n states, walking over to her husband and laying a passionate kiss on his lips. They’re clearly not bothered by the presence of others when indulging in each other.

a/n: This was something different for me to write, but I loved it and I hope y’all do too!!

#mat barzal #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal blurb #mat barzal smut #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal angst #nhl imagine #nhl fic #new york islanders #visceral in doses

[wandering-winchesters]

Crossroads III

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Trigger Warning: Mentions of death, alcohol, brief mentions of torture. Word Count: 3,419 Summary: Part 3 of Crossroads, Crossroads II Five months has passed since Y/N was taken by hellhounds. A/N: I think this is the final part, but who knows, inspiration might spark for more. Please let me know what you think!

Masterlist

Cold air washes over my senses, bringing me back to consciousness. The cool air a stark contrast to the heat of hell that I’ve become accustomed to over the last period of time. A period that I can’t define, days, weeks, years? I’m not sure. I push myself up onto my knees, squinting into the darkness, trying to locate where I am. It certainly doesn’t seem like hell. My head throbs, I reach up to try and ease the throb, when I bring my hand back down, my fingers are sticky with fresh blood.

“That explains the headache.” I mumble, pushing myself up to a standing position. I inhale the fresh air, I let it wash over every inch of my body. Embracing the cold, goosebumps sprinkling across my skin. I smile, I’m back on earth, hell is gone. I don’t know how I got here, or where here is. But I know one thing, I have to find Dean.

I look around taking in my surroundings and nearly scream when I recognize the area. I’m only a ten minute walk from the bunker, I’m ten minutes away from Dean. Who knew I would ever be so excited to be in Lebanon, Kansas. 

I start walking, embracing every step. Relishing in the freedom that seems to have been dropped in my lap. I look up and take in the night sky, the same stars that I had seen the last time I was on earth, the moon hanging heavy and high in the sky, a complete circle. My walk turns into a run, adrenaline shooting through my veins, excited at the prospect of being reunited with Dean and Sam. God, how I had missed them. I found the corner and there it is, the bunker. Just as I remembered it, just how I had left it. The impala parked in the drive, directly next to my truck. A familiar sight that I am so grateful for, they’re home. I stop a few feet away from the door. Do I use the spare key and go in? Do I knock? I don’t know how to approach this whole, back from hell ordeal. Is Dean going to be happy to see me? Has he moved on? I have no clue how long it’s been since the hellhounds came for me. Time, was completely different in hell. I take a deep breathe and look for the key that was always hidden outside the bunker, but it wasn’t there. Well, I guess that answers my question. 

I raise my hand, and knock. My heart nearly beating out of my chest, the air in my lungs non existent as I wait for someone to answer the door. 

I hear footsteps approaching, and take a step back from the door, worried about what’s going to happen next. The door swings open and I’m greeted by Deans revolver pointed straight at my face.

“What the fuck are you doing? Really? Taking her to hell wasn’t bad enough, you had to steal her body too?” He yells, his thumb cocking the action on the revolver and lowering it, ready to shoot me at a moments notice. 

“Dean, it’s me baby.” I say, my hands raised, showing him that they’re empty. 

“That’s not possible, Y/N’s dead. She’s in hell. You can’t escape hell.” He says, his voice low and thick with emotion. Sam appears over his shoulder, a shotgun gripped in his hands. He’s shocked, but cautious. I can tell by the look on his face, he doesn’t know what to think. 

“Dean, I promise it’s really me. I don’t know how, but I’m here. I woke up in a field, ten minutes from here.” I plead, pointing in the direction that I’d walked from. He lowers the gun slightly, pointing at at my knees instead of directly at my head. 

“Tell me something, only Y/N would know.” He says, anger still his paramount emotion. I hesitate, thinking quickly, trying to think of something that not many people would know. 

“I accidentally punched you in my sleep once, you were trying to wake me up from a nightmare and I thought you were part of the nightmare so I punched you. I gave you a black eye, but you lied and told everyone that a vampire did it.” I blurt out, trying to get it all out at once so I can finally hug him. His face is shocked, his gun drops to his side and he tucks it behind his back into the waist band of his pants. Before I can even blink, his hands are pulling at me, tugging me against his chest and into his arms.  

I hug him back, embracing him completely. The moment I thought about every minute in hell, being back in his arms again. Tears well in my eyes, relief. He’s real, I’m really here, I’m touching him again. He runs one hand up my back to my neck, pulling my head into him further. I can feel him shaking against me, but I’m shaking too. It’s all I can do to stand and hug him. He pulls away slightly, just enough so he can look down at me and kiss me. He kisses me until he has to take a breath, and then he looks me over. Concern flickering across his eyes when they land on the cut above my eye, fresh and in need of attention. However, that cut is the least of my concerns at the moment. All I care about, is being back with Dean. 

“How long was I gone?” I ask, my arms still locked tightly around him. 

“Five months, five incredibly long months Y/N.” He sighs, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I’m caught off guard, on one hand it felt like I’d been gone a couple of days, on the other it felt like years. 

“Where did the cut on your face come from? It looks fresh.” Sam asks, snapping me from my thoughts. I let go of Dean, and walk over to the younger Winchester. Giving him a firm hug, that he reciprocates. Dean is quick to pull me back to his side, wrapping an arm around my waist and leading me inside the bunker. 

“I honestly don’t know, Sam. It’s all kind of a blur, i remember being in hell, but most of it, I can’t really recall? It’s almost as if it’s on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t know what happened or how to describe it.” I shrug, and he nods. Dean takes my hand, pulling me gently to the kitchen. 

“Sit.” he says, nodding to the kitchen counter. I begin to argue, but he silences me with a look. I bite my lip and keep my arguments to myself. He pulls the first aid out of a cabinet, and sets to work on cleaning the cut above my eye. It’s not too deep, it spans about in inch from above my eye lid, through my eyebrow, ending near my temple. He grabs an alcohol wipe and cleans the blood away, it stings, but I hold my breathe and the pain is gone as quickly as it had come. His hands are gentle, his gaze locked on the cut the entire time. His bottom lip tucked tightly between his teeth in concentration. 

“Dean,” I whisper, tugging gently on his shirt. “I’m okay, baby.” He nods, not verbally responding but I know he heard me. He places a bandage the cut and calls it good. 

I move to jump down off the counter, but I’m met by his hands on my knees, holding me in place. 

“Stay.” He says, walking towards the fridge. He pulls out a beer, turns his back to open it and brings it back over to me. “Drink.” I’m taken aback by his one word commands, but I comply. Taking a sip from the beer that he had handed me, I watch as relief floods his face once again. I roll my eyes and laugh, he spiked my beer. The old holy water  in the beer trick. 

“Ahh, it burns!” I joke, taking another sip. “It’s a little watered down there, Winchester.” Dean smiles, helping me down off the countertop and once again wrapping me in his arms.

“I just had to make sure, I’m sorry.” He mutters, kissing my head. I lean into his embrace, treasuring how it felt to have his arms around me once again. A feeling that I had accepted to never encounter again, a journey to hell doesn’t normally end back on earth. 

-

“I need a shower, a long shower.” I say and he nods, walking with me to our shared bedroom and opening the door for me. I glance around, not much has changed. His clothes are still scatted about, something that used to annoy me but now I love it. It’s part of what makes him Dean. My eyes focus on a frame, sitting on the bedside table. Something that hadn’t been there before, it holds the letter I left him with, and a bunch of pictures of the two of us, some including Sam are taped to the frame. Dean sees what I am looking at and a sad smile crosses his face, sheepish almost. “I uh, I went through your phone after you… left.” He hesitates, “I wanted all of the pictures that you had of us together, I hope that was okay.” He hands me my phone, something that I never expected to get back. I laugh softly, taking my phone from him and giving him a smile. 

“Of course I don’t mind De, I would’ve done the same thing.” I reassure him, squeezing his hand before letting go. I walk over to the dresser that used to be mine and pull open the drawer. All of my clothes were still there, untouched. Its a small relief, the fear that I had internalized of being replaced easing away, rolling off my body and being replaced by peace. He hadn’t forgotten me, he hadn’t lost all hope that we could still be together. 

I grab a change of clothes and shrug off my leather jacket, tossing it into the closet. 

“Want to sit with me while I shower?” I ask and Dean nods, hurriedly agreeing. Not wanting there to be much distance between us, a sentiment that I share. We head into the bathroom, where Dean turns on the shower for me and grabs me a couple of towels. I look into the mirror and barely recognize myself. My hair is disheveled, dark circles around my eyes that I have never seen before. The cut on my forehead larger than I had initially thought. I pull my shirt over my head and audibly gasp. Deans eyes focusing in on what had grabbed my attention. My skin was covered in bruises and cuts, in different stages of healing. I run my fingertips over the marks on my skin and wince, some of them still painful to the touch. I hadn’t been in any pain, besides the scrape on my face. 

“Apparently hell stays with you, even when you leave.” I mutter, twisting in the mirror to get a look at my back which had suffered the same fate. Dean moves to stand behind me, one arm wrapping around my waist the other gently tracing the cuts on my skin. He presses a soft kiss to the back of my neck, then my shoulder. He mutters apology, after apology, tears brimming in his eyes. 

“Stop, baby. You have nothing to apologize for, you didn’t make me take that deal. I chose to do that, for you. I would do it all over again.” I turn around in his arms, looking up at him softly. “Baby, I honestly don’t even remember most of what happened. I remember being sad, I remember being in pain, but I don’t remember what they did to me. I don’t know how I got out or how I would up in that field, but baby its all worth it. We’re here, together. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.” I press a kiss to his forehead and he nods in understanding. He sits with me while I shower, catching me up on everything that has been happening since I left, the hunts they had gone on, the people that they’ve met. The monsters that they’ve encountered. 

“So that guy was basically roofieing people with vampire blood? That’s vile!” I say, climbing out of the shower and wrapping my body in one of the towels he had laid out for me. 

“Right? That’s what I said!” Dean says, shaking his head. In this moment, everything feels almost normal. Almost like how it was before the first deal was struck with a crossroads demon, those two long years ago. 

I pull my sweatpants up over my hips and go to put on my t-shirt, but I hesitate, eyeing the shirt that Dean is currently wearing instead. 

“Hey Dean,” I say, the tone of my voice hopeful and playful. He hums in response, his eyes meeting mine. I grin, “Can I wear your t-shirt? Like the one off your back?” He shakes his head, but smiles and quickly pulls his shirt off handing it to me. I pull it over my head, embracing the feel of the warm fabric sliding over my skin, his cologne filling my senses. Home. I was home and there was nothing that could take away that joy. 

That night, we climbed into bed and everything just felt right. Dean was here, I was here and there were no clocks counting down the minutes until my death. The next few days are a blur, everything fitting in place. Sam and I had gone back to researching, like we always did. Dean bitching about it being “time wasted.” But I knew he really didn’t mind, he was the happiest I had seen him in a long time. 

Overtime, more of my time spent in hell came back to mind, memories that I could have lived without. The day the hellhounds came, ripping my soul apart. The fire and utter torture that I experienced in hell, things that don’t even translate to the English language. The horrible things I saw and endured, It was easier to keep them at bay in the daytime, surrounded by the boys and keeping busy with research, cleaning and cooking. Some of my favorite things, especially when it was for the benefit of Sam and Dean. But at night, the second I closed my eyes, the darkness started creeping back in, clouding my senses entirely. I kept It from Dean, he still thought that I didn’t remember anything from my time in hell and I wanted it to stay that way, he blamed himself enough, he didn’t need the burden of knowing that I remember everything that happened. He would never forgive himself. 

It was three weeks after I had returned to the bunker, dew soaked and cold from being left in the field. I didn’t sleep much anymore, the second I closed my eyes the demons swam before me, entrapping my thoughts and my entire being. I would lay in bed with Dean and read, until he fell asleep a short time later. Then I would get up and go into a different room, id keep myself up most of the night until I simply couldn’t stay awake any longer, crawling into bed and wrapping myself in Dean’s embrace. He didn’t seem to notice, at least he didn’t verbalize it. Little did I know, he noticed. He noticed the darkening circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, he noticed the constant yawns that would escape no matter how hard I tried to hide them. He noticed my overall lack of energy, he noticed it all and he was devastatingly worried. 

Tonight, things went how they normally do. We crawled into bed, I read a book until he fell asleep and then I snuck into the kitchen, settling at the table with my laptop, a blanket and a cup of coffee. I opened up the lore I had been reading on hell and was completely entranced in it, when Dean walked quietly into the kitchen, escaping my attention until he spoke. “Awfully late for coffee isn’t it sweetheart?” He asks, his arms crossed against his chest as he leaned against the doorframe. I jump, nearly spilling said cup of coffee. 

“Dean, you scared me.” I say, closing my laptop with a soft snap that hangs in the air between us. 

“You’re hiding something from me.” He states, not an ounce of playfulness anywhere to be seen. He walks the short distance and sits down across from me at the kitchen table. “Care to let me into that brain of yours? Explain why you’ve been sneaking out of bed every night?” He asks, taking the coffee cup from my hand and taking a sip, before handing it back to me. I inhale sharply at his words, he knew that I hadn’t been sleeping, knew that I wasn’t staying in bed with him. 

“Dean, it’s nothing, really. Just haven’t been super tired recently.” I lie, smiling at him softly before taking another sip from the hot liquid splashing around in my mug. He quirks an eyebrow at me, his gaze unrelenting. I shift uncomfortably before I can stop myself and he notices.

“Bull.” 

That one word hangs between us, he called my bluff, rather easily if I am being honest. I bring my hands up to my chin, clasping them together and resting my head on them. I can feel the tears building, fear and anxiety rising. My thoughts racing, images flashing through my vision. 

“Hey, I’m right here. You’re not in hell anymore, you will never go back there.” He says, his voice soft and gentle, he reaches out and pulls my hands into his own. I take a deep breath and tell him everything, all that I remember, the things that confuse me, facts that I can’t distinguish from fiction. The methods of demonic torture, the things they would show me. Often, using Dean as the villain or the one being tortured in front of me.  He listens, never interrupting, just letting me get it all out. At the end, I am grateful, a huge weight has lifted off my chest and I am tired, oh so tired. 

“I didn’t want to tell you, I didn’t want to hurt you.” I say, wiping my tears away and glancing up at him. 

“I know, baby. I’ve known something has been bugging you for weeks, I didn’t want to push you but I couldn’t watch you keep fading away in front of me.” His gaze is full of love for me, all of me. 

“Thank you,” I whisper, thankful that he loves me enough to notice these things. A love that I never imagined would be my own, something in movies not reality. But here I am, living in that romance novel. 

“Dean, can you promise me something?” I ask, my voice small in my throat, reaching out and holding his hand once again. 

“Anything.” He says, stroking my skin with his thumb, his eyes trained on my own. “No more deals with the devil?” I say, shivering slightly the thought enough to make panic rise again. “No matter what happens, we accept it and move on. No more selling our souls, promise?” He smiles softly, a soft laugh escaping him. “I promise, sweetheart. I have everything I could ever need right here in front of me and nothing will ever take that away from me again.��� He stands from the table and walks over to me, pulling me into his embrace. His arms strong and comforting around me, the world around me diminishing, the only thing that matters is him. He leads me back to bed, pulling me into his chest, his warmth overwhelming me in all of the right ways. I am safe, he is here and I can rest easy. 

Things will get easier with time, we still have a lot of healing to do, but for right now, we can accept our individual brokenness and pain. Embrace each other fully,  be broken together, heal together, unconditionally love each other, through the good days and the bad. In the end, I am back in the arms of the green eyed hunter, the safest place I could ever be. 

--

Taglist for those requested: @agirlwithdemonblood , @deans-spinster-witchs-favorites, @candy-coated-misery0731, @ironicfoxes, @irgendwas122 .

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[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello, I seem to have found myself with an issue at work. My wife’s a demon. Literally. Her family hails from a realm of chaos but we met when she moved here for work. I talk about her fairly often so I had assumed all my coworkers were aware of her genus.

However, on Friday a couple of colleagues I don’t know so well pulled me aside to “discuss how I speak about my wife”. Apparently when I’ve been referring to my wife a demon they had been assuming I’m nothing more than a wife-hating misogynist. I unfortunately understand where they’re coming from; a lot of men my age do to speak poorly of their wives, but I adore mine! She’s the best thing that ever happened to me and when I call her a demon I say it with nothing but complete respect for her genus and her culture.

When they confronted me I panicked. All I could do was mutter some vague promise about doing better, then I scrambled to my car before they could say another word.

Since then I haven’t stopped thinking about what happened. Do people think I’ve been complaining about my wife for the last 20 years and have always been afraid to speak up? Or worse, do some of my acquaintances even support with that kind of behaviour?

In addition, should I speak to my colleagues about their assumptions about my wife’s genus? I’m rather uncomfortable that they heard “demon” and assumed I meant it both metaphorically and in a derogative manner. They’re generally nice people who were trying to call out what they perceived to be poor behaviour on my part. I don’t want to put them off intervening in future, but that doesn’t change their mistake now. I just don’t know what to do.

[Inspired by this post https://www.tumblr.com/acecorvid/744120113970790400]

Oh dear, reader. It sounds like you and your colleagues have got yourselves into a bit of an unnecessary muddle here. Fortunately, it's nothing a little clear communication can't help.

First of all, I absolutely agree that there is something problematic in their quickness to hear negativity and criticism in terminology relating to infernal species.

Based on the way you've spoken about your relationship here, it seems unlikely that you've been using this language while also speaking about your wife in a derogatory, dismissive way.

By failing to see these context clues and simply assuming you couldn't possibly be talking about an actual demon, your colleagues have shown their own sapio-centric bias.

At the same time, though, it's a good sign that they're willing to speak up against casual misogyny – even if their enthusiasm is, in this particular case, misplaced. You can use this good intention as a way to navigate the conversation itself.

Instead of telling them all the ways they're wrong, start off by acknowledging their efforts to push back against the patriarchy. Use this as a way to segue into the actual issue, letting them know that their willingness to speak up to you makes you feel able to correct their own misapprehension.

You don't need to belabour the point. However, I do think it's worth explicitly noting that it was a particularly unfortunate mistake to make, given how it feeds into sapio-centric culture in general and anti-infernal prejudice specifically.

Of course, this doesn't address your concerns about how you've been perceived by your friends and coworkers prior to this incident. Unfortunately, there's nothing to be done about people's past misapprehensions. At the same time, I wonder how realistic your concerns are.

You've known some of these people for 20 years. You speak about your wife often, and are supportive and enthusiastic about her culture. Presumably at some point you've mentioned engaging with her cultural practices, celebrating certain holidays and rituals, visiting family on other planes, and so on.

If anyone who's known you as long as all that still hasn't picked up on this, that's really on them.

As for worrying that you may have acquaintances who think you agree with their misogynistic views, the answer there is simple: do your actions otherwise indicate that you might be a person who would support such ideas?

If someone says or does something misogynistic in your presence, do you have the integrity to speak up about it? Are you involved in supporting equality and diversity in your workplace? Are you someone your friends and acquaintances could come to for support in the face of discrimination?

Most importantly, as the example with your colleagues demonstrates, are you a person who can hear criticism and make an effort to unlearn your own prejudices and preconceptions?

If you can answer yes to those questions, you have nothing to fear. You are already doing what you can do push back against structures of inequality and prejudice, and are in little danger of being mistaken for a bigot. And if not, you have some next steps to take on that journey.

[Clickable link to the original post]

#answered #the nightfolk network #monstrous agonies

[quibbs126]

For a fan kid request, can you do Dark Choco and Earl Grey?

Here you go, this is Dark Tea Cookie

So fun fact, she has been done for like, at least a month, if not more. The only thing that was stopping me from posting her was that I had no idea what to do for her sketches, but I didn’t want to just do nothing, since I always draw them for others, so she’s been stuck in this limbo for ages. But last night I finally came up with some ideas, and now I can show her

So she’s named after dark tea, which is different from black tea, due to it being fermented or something? I don’t really know. But dark tea is darker than black tea, and in the east, their names translate to “red tea” for black tea, and “black tea” for dark tea, since they’re named for the color of the tea themselves, not the leaves

I dunno, the whole situation is confusing. Just know that it’s because of the whole “Dark” prefix for Dark Choco’s family, and because Earl Grey is tea, and it’s not the same thing as black tea

Dark tea:

So to be honest, I don’t remember much of the design process. I made her hair black because of the tea, and I gave her the streaks because Dark Choco has them, but made them the same color as Earl Grey’s hair

I made her eyes blue because of the whole “I give too many Dark Choco kids red eyes” thing, but I ended up darkening the color because I thought Earl Grey’s eye color was just too light and didn’t look right. I think it looks fine now though

I do remember that I’m pretty sure the bottom of her dress was supposed to resemble a tea cup, since well, she’s made of tea

I think at one point I was planning on basing her design off of Alice from Alice in Wonderland (the original Disney movie one), but after looking at the designs again, it doesn’t seem I went for that route

But all in all, I think her design does look good. I liked drawing it in the sketches I did

Anyways, so let’s get into her as a character

So she lives at Earl Grey’s hotel (hence why her outfit more resembles something from him than Dark Choco)

I’ll admit, I don’t have much on her, or at least whatever I made up of her originally I didn’t write down. But she’s a shy young girl who just sort of lives in the hotel, probably trying to do some of the upkeep in the hotel, or at least as much as she can

But last night I thought, what if I leaned more into the Alice in Wonderland inspiration? And so, I’m considering that she has a story where she ends up in some sort of weird world (perhaps she accidentally gets transported into whatever weird chess dimension Chess Choco seem to have going on, at least in their Trial), and is sort of the normal girl in this place of madness

In the left sketch, she’s supposed to be trying to get the other people to act less…crazy, saying that’s probably not a good idea. My idea is that she’s got a set of morals on her, and she can’t stand injustice, but she’s usually a bit too timid to do anything about it. Maybe this other world is how she learns to be more assertive

Also, she will fight if she absolutely has to (though she’s incredibly nervous about it), though to everyone’s shock, she packs an incredible wallop in her punches. She might not be totally aware of this fact, so she’s just wildly swinging punches hoping she lands a hit, and when she looks she’s taken out an entire crowd or enemies

And honestly, I think that’s about it

*sigh* To be honest, I really feel like I could do better on her character section. The only person she has any notable connection to is Earl Grey, and all she seems to have from Dark Choco is looks and strength, but I have no clue what kind of relationship she has with him, if he’s even there. And that’s not to mention the Chess Choco twins, who would be there as older siblings

I don’t know, I feel like I could do so much more with the proposed family dynamic, especially since I originally put this one up because I was thinking about the potential of this ship. I was going to do it purely because I wanted to, and then someone happened to request it so it’s a win-win. But I feel disappointed that I haven’t tapped the potential of it. Which sucks because I really like her design, but I have no clue how to work her as a character into everyone else

Maybe I’ll do another shot at this ship sometime, but currently I’m just not sure what else to do

Well regardless of all that, I hope you enjoy her

#cookie run #cookie run ovenbreak #dark choco cookie #earl grey cookie #do they have a ship name? #cookie run oc #fankid #fanchild #my ocs #my art #requests #answers #dark tea cookie

[neptunes-sol-angel]

𓈒 ⭒ ݁ .#onecardthreeways 𓈒 ⭒ ݁ .

This is my submission for the challenge that I've been postponing for the longest. If you'd like to participate, then here are the instructions.

@gryphis-eyes did an amazing post for this challenge by using only one card, so that inspired me to do the same. This was great exercise for my intuition, and I'd love it if more people took a shot at this.

The card that I pulled, is the Three of Pentacles.

Paid Readings | Patreon | Tip Jar

Pile One

I'm seeing "Dragonballs" and coins being flipped into a fountain, both of these things relate to a wish being granted. Some of you are wishing for you and another person to make amends, I'm strongly getting that this is about a classmate or co-worker, because professionalism involved. Someone is being stubborn, which the other person doesn't really care about, because their focus is making sure that a goal in an assignment or project is being met but pettiness is holding back the cooperation that both of you guys need in order to make progress.

If this is really important to you, then I'm getting that a peaceful resolution will happen for you, but not with the person that you expected to finish this matter with. You could be assigned to someone else or you will have an opportunity to find a replacement. I feel like this is a lesson for you guys to realize that you don't have to sacrifice your comfort or safety to get the things that matter to you. You could have the habit of constantly putting others above you, but there's only so much that you can tolerate, furthermore, you betray yourself by being the only person to make adjustments in a partnership, the 'co' in compromise is supposed to mean for the both of you to take action in. Even if this particular scenario isn't your situation. I feel like your message in general is that if one way doesn't work, then it doesn't mean that you've failed or that you're the problem, that one way just gets you closer to the other possible ways that will work.

Pile Two

"Skeletons in closet" Quality > Quantity. It isn't wise to tell everyone your business, but it's also best to be wise about that one person that you choose to tell your business to, because the one wrong person could be the type to tell everyone about yourself so that you won't even have to. I feel like someone's going to expose themselves, but it isn't you. There's something that you told someone, that they misinterpreted but got extremely excited to tell others about because they think that it's "tea". But the real tea is that you have nothing to hide, you'd just rather not share, but now you know who's your friend and who's not really your friend. I know the card is the three of pentacles, but I keep getting threes. Three as in the three of swords which could explain the betrayal, but also threes as in multiple people being involved in something that they shouldn't. Even if you are the type that knows how to share stuff without telling anything about you, that's significant, pay attention to your circle, because I keep seeing this person stacking up "receipts" to use against you, or to make you appear scandalous even though they have not a clue what they're talking about. There are sick people in the world and you cannot control what others say about you, but for your safety and peace, cut them out of your life.

Pile Three

I'm getting multiple messages and they all somewhat deal with recovery. I see someone looking through some kind of storage, whether it's an actual unit, or a small fireproof box filled with items that remind them of you. You could get an apology soon. I'm getting that this could be from a family member, but it could be someone from an old romantic connection.

For one of the other interpretations, I feel that maybe this is a message for some of you to be careful with your belongings, to keep track of something small but of big importance to you, or to try not to take on so many things at once because you could either forget an appointment or miss out on an event related to someone that you care about. This could also mean that you actually are already taking on too many things at once and to stop because you're heavily overwhelming yourself to the point where it  could affect your health, or too much of time for yourself is being taken away to external situations.

The last interpretation, is that if you lost something awhile ago, then don't worry, you will get it back or finally will find out where you lost it.

Pile Four

You could be worried about a task because it appears to be difficult, but I think it's hard for you to try something without getting the proper directions on how to do it. I'm getting that you should seek instructions from outside resources, like online forums, or video tutorials, and other places for different methods. Once you get a different perspective on it that makes sense to you, you will find the task to actually be easier than you thought.

The general message is to not discourage yourself while learning something or downplay your intelligence because of what looks to be intimidating or because you haven't grasped it immediately. The very thing that you're worried about is going to make you very happy because of how you overcome your doubt over your own abilities, and the reward that comes from finding individuals who you can learn from and a deeper connection with your own distinct way of gaining knowledge and experience in different subjects, and could also be your favorite thing to practice and teach to others who share the same fears that you had.

This could also look like beating procrastination or finding a way to be more organized so that you can be consistent with breaking or gaining a healthy habit.

#pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #pac #pac reading #intuition #intuitive #tarot #tarotblr #tarot reading #tarot reader #tarot readings #tarot community #the tarot community #divination #readings #psychic #psychic reading #spirituality #channeled message #channeled messages #onecardthreeways

[burtonsdoodles]

MORE RANDOM NEWSIES NOTES… PART THREE

Having sat in Brooklyn, I now 100% understand what they mean when they say seize the day really takes it out of them - you can see the sweat dripping, hear the huffs of breath and there were genuine tears falling on a number of faces as they tried to hold it together for the picture… though granted those tears could have been more to do with it being the final OGs performance… 🤷‍♀️ but no matter the reason, it was incredible and I have a whole new appreciation for it now… phenomenal!

Speaking of seize the day - I am obsessed with the changes - the sound of the sirens coming in as things heat up - adding the roll call (did anyone who was at the last OG show catch the names Jordan and Zach used - I didn’t and I’m just curious.) Though my absolute favourite section is when things slow down and turn into a bit of an Irish jig (no clue if that’s actually an accurate way of describing it but that’s what I’m going with). I love it so much - it gets me every time! Whoever’s decision it was to do that deserves ALL the gold stars!!!

Now we need to talk about Josh Barnett as Race because… PERFECTION!! While I love bens race and livesies in general is incredible - it’s the thing which started it all… but I have really gotten to love the original film and the grit it has - something that wasn't transferred into the Broadway show - but this uk production really feels as inspired by it as it is its Broadway predecessor… but once again I digress, Josh’s race feels like he could have been plucked from the streets of 92sies - he has that same grit and wit of max casellas race who commands his own respect amongst the streets separate from Jack… I think I’ve said this in another post but it’s cool so I’m saying it again, one of my favourite changes is that Jack isn’t the one who starts the show - race is - he’s the one who kicks everything off and calls all the other newsies to order, the action doesn’t start without his say so — and I love that!

Now to the thing I noticed on my last visit which was really interesting — when it comes to the day of the strike and davey and Jack are trying to make out that everything is fine even though barely anyone has shown up and race and finch are questioning everything and then they bring up spot conlon and daveys like “well if you see spot conlon then they’re with us”… race looked like he was about to absolutely thump davey for that - “why you litt—! ⬇️

Scratch that - Saw it again last night and race full on went for him - “why you son of a b—!” - only being stopped by Jack - race was fuming, as the scene went on and the others are talking, race is at the gate with davey and got right up in his face to say something to him - I didn’t actually catch what it was - but it was along the lines of “don’t ever speak to me like that again”… it might not have been that but whatever it was it was intense and I am now obsessed with this moment and absolutely love seeing an angrier/offended side to race

OH MY GOD I now fully understand why people rave about finch so much - he is a fascinating character to watch! Apparently Woodside is a prime finch spotting location… he actually did the bit albert usually does which is holding crutchie whilst Jack has the crutch… but he did not look happy to be doing it - the face he had as he held onto crutchies hand and Jack messed with the delanceys was the picture of - I don’t want to be a part of this! I don’t want to be a part of this! I don’t want to be a part of this! Jack stop causing trouble! As Jack was being chased finch literally called out to him - “you’re an idiot!” And from that point on finch was all I was watching throughout the rest of the show… (I might go into this more in another post)

Also I am now enamoured by the bond between finch and Mike, they had a load of little moments together and they were really cute… the main one that’s stuck with me is when Jacobi hands out the cups of water, Mike and finch are sharing a table, Mike gets the water but then shares it with finch, and there was a moment when finch really tentatively put his hand on mikes arm/shoulder when they’re talking about potentially being on the front page… it was just such a soft moment unlike most of the other who would do the same things but with much more gusto and enthusiastic weight… I just found it really sweet… mikes another one I’ve never really paid much attention to so have never really had any reference as to his character personality - but I see now that he’s one of the more guarded ones, wary of causing too much of a stir, keeps to the back but always listening… he actually goes really well with jittery mr. finch

Jack and Katherine kiss and all the newsies catch on… splasher: it’s about time

The delanceys give Jack a beating back stage before pushing him towards the paper press

Still more to come…

PART ONE | PART TWO

#newsies uk #my random thoughts #Newsies #newsies spoilers #finch cortez #racetrack higgins #mike newsies #newsies cast #newsies fandom #text post #long post #damon gould #mark samaras #josh barnett

[glaivenoct]

🎃 trick or treat 🎃

Ask Box Trick or Treat - Fic Edition

Thank you for sending one in! Sorry I'm answering these so late too, but at least Halloween is still around the corner! (Its not the 31st for me quite yet)

Have a peek at a very old word dump that was always meant to be a part of a NyxNoct World of Ruin/fixit AU! It was directly inspired by the instance in FFXV Comrades when you pass by an NPC in Lestallum, who talks to another about how the search for Prince Noctis has been called off. I couldn't stop picturing this moment between Nyx and Cor the moment I heard it.

(Pls don't mind the way the first few paragraphs are written before the dialogue kicks in. I started this when I was having a writing slump, and sometimes I try writing a little differently just to get words unstuck. I haven't touched this in well over a year and just never bothered to fix it.)

(Pls also note I'd probably rewrite the hell out of this now, but it's not a bad start for just trying to get the words out.)

-

He will be returning to Lestallum from a mission. He will be bruised, sore and weary. He will overhear it in passing by chance - and it will drive him to the edge of hopelessness. 

“They called off the search for Prince Noctis! Without our King - ”

He will freeze in place, feeling suddenly hollow and as if a rug has been pulled from beneath his muddied boots. He will contemplate whether or not he is hearing things. If the phantoms in his nightmares have somehow found a way to haunt him the waking world. He will think that can’t be right. That the civilians don’t have a clue what they’re talking about, and it is nothing more than frivolous gossip to give the survivors of a dark, broken world something to do. 

He’ll know exactly who he needs to find to confirm the truth. Cor.

He’ll find Cor tucked away in a tent,  standing over a map and marking off areas on it. Cor will look up at Nyx, confused at the frantic manner he entered in. Nyx will be huffing both breathless and frustrated, dropping his backpack to the floor and looking at Cor in frustrated bewilderment.

“What the hell do you mean the search is off?”

Cor’s brows rise, eyes slightly widening in shock. Just as quickly, his jaw clenches and he glances off to the side, closing his eyes to sigh quietly. It’s all the confirmation Nyx needs. 

“You heard…” He says slowly, looking back up at Nyx.

“Not from you.” Nyx glares.

“I was going to tell you as soon as you returned.”

“And I’m here to tell you to call the search back on.” He shakes his head. “You can’t do this.”

“It’s been months and we’ve exhausted all traces of potential leads. The crystal is nowhere to be found. It brings me no comfort to do so, but we must move on.”

“He’s our King!” Nyx snaps, knowing Cor knows as well as he does that, for him, it’s more than that. Noctis might be everyone’s King, but he is solely Nyx’s whole heart. “We can’t just give up on him!”

“We’re not!” Cor snaps back, circling around the table to come toe to toe with Nyx. They both glare at each other, angry and frustrated with everything but each other. Angry and frustrated with the current state of the world and the choice it’s causing them to make. “You think I want to do this? You think I want to feel like I’m going to outlive another King after I failed the last one? I don’t! But take another look around you. We’re the last line of defense this world has. The last line of defense the people have. Noctis would want us to focus all our efforts and resources on protecting them. You know that as well as I do.”

Nyx knows. Really, he should know better than anyone, but he’s not ready. Not ready to take that step just yet. Not ready to put Noctis on a backburner and spend his days hoping he returns by some crystal given miracle or prophecy. There has to be another way. There must, but he won’t waste his time trying to convince the Marshal of it any longer. He doesn’t even necessarily fault him for this line of thinking. 

Cor, much like everyone else, is simply doing his best. Nyx knows he should respect that. 

Which is why the only thing he has left to say when he turns to swiftly leave the tent is, “I’m taking a walk.”

“Ulric –”

“I just need some time, alright? Don’t even think about sending Highwind after me.”

((p sure he's supposed to send Highwind after him eventually))

#fic asks #nyxnoct #i still have a few of these left so I'll try to get through the rest soon!

[shadowcovcn]

2,6,7 and 9 !

spread the love // @spynorth // accepting 

What’s a roleplay blog whose writing style you admire?

@trickstercaptain - One of my oldest rp friends and someone who’s writing I have always admired. Lottie is simply a very talented writer. I don’t even know where to begin, but I guess the biggest thing that comes to mind is that they are excellent at ‘show don’t tell’. I’m obviously most familiar with their portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow. He’s not the most emotionally honest character but they manage to portray his complexities in such a well fashioned manner. They do that for all their muses though. They’re someone who prefers to do deep dives on their muses and really get into the nitty gritty of what makes them tick. Aka my kind of person. 

@hlsng / @cravensw0rth - It can be especially hard to capture a characters voice but this is something I’ve seen jayne do very well. When I read the dialogue of their replies I clearly hear the characters voice behind each. Furthermore, each muse they write is made distinct in their replies. You can sense Guillermo’s apprehension or Laszlo’s passion through their writing. I don’t know, they’re just someone who has been a more recent (but very welcome) addition to my dash. 

@munsontm / @goldenngore - I’ll admit, sometimes I read Frankenstein’s thread replies just for inspiration. They’re an excellent writer but what stands out most to me is that they do a great job of setting the scene and having the environment interact with their muse. So often if feels like two muses are interacting in vague black hole, but Frankenstein knows how to color in their threads and really pull you into the scene. 

What’s a roleplay blog who’s an absolute joy to talk to ooc?

@lighthouseborn - Hannah is a really fun person to talk to. They have so many ideas about Henry, Shipwreck, and the PoTC universe at large. I always love to pick their brain and read their dissections of Henry. They just have so much passion for their muse and it can be contagious. 

@musecraft / @harringtontm + @trickstercaptain -  The two people I talk to on a near daily basis. Lottie and Rosemary are the bomb-diggity

What’s a roleplay blog you love whose character you didn’t know until you started writing with them?

@spynorth / @piraticalwit - I still have no fucking clue who Lucas North is or why you occasionally call him John Bateman. I technically knew of Hook but not your Hook and at this point I feel like anything OTHER THAN your Hook would be a disappointment. I don’t know what the point of this is other than me saying that I love you, Lucas, and I hope one day you’ll rp a muse I’m actually familiar with (but also I hope you don’t because it’s funnier this way).

@azmenka - LISTEN I’m on the wrong blog for this because technically Maron has only interacted with Teague, but I wanna say that Hannah has done such an excellent job with Maron Greyjoy. Technically he is dead in the books so it was impossible to know the character. But at this point I don’t care. They have saved Maron from GRRM’s grimy clutches and developed him into a splendidly smarmy character whom myself and Teague have grown to enjoy immensely. 

What’s a roleplay blog whose dedication you admire?

@musecraft - Rosemary is one of the most creative people I’ve met on this platform. They have quickly become one of my favourite people to plot with and their ability to mold different muses into a variety of verses is unparalleled. Like, they do such an excellent job with developing each muse in a variety of verses and seeing how it all turns out. It’s like watching master chef Gordon Ramsey except instead of hurling insults at you, they’re throwing words of encouragement and hugs. Truly a fabulous person and a fabulous writing partner. 

@matriiiarch - Someone I’ve admired from afar for a few months. I’m a sucker for muns who are able to weave cohesive plots across a thread and set up established timelines, lore, canon, etc. They’ve managed to do that with their Gomez and I find it really splendid to read/watch their threads together develop. I think they’ve built something very unique on their blog and it’s a joy to have them on my dash. 

@therelentless - I’ve said this before but pluto has taken a comedic character and given him layers while maintaining his character voice and overall personality. They have kept Nandor funny while fleshing out his backstory. They have expanded his character while not shirking away from what makes Nandor such a mess to begin with. They have really dedicated themselves to keeping Nandor at his most authentic self and it’s always nice to see someone so dedicated to developing their muse without changing them for the sake of plots or ships or whatever else. Pluto is someone I would want to follow even if I wasn’t a fan of WWDIT because I simply admire how much they care about their muse and doing him justice (which they do).

#⌈ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ⌋ ➝ (mun.) #ooc / mun.

[curator-on-ao3]

Hello, my darling Curator! I have been so delighted by all your amazing prompt fills, and I wanted to humbly add a request of my own.

Actually, I have two prompts, one I would love you to write for me, and one I hope you'll write for yourself, if that's okay.

1: "so why's it so important anyway" for Rios (with raffi or the holos or someone from the motley crew or someone else entirely - you do what you feel inspired to 💗)

2: "who do you fight for" for Kirsten Clancy. Because I love the way you write her, and I know how much you care about her, and I would love to give you any excuse to revisit her in some way shape or form 😁

I hope you'll enjoy those prompts, and no worries if inspiration doesn't strike for a while (or at all). I'm already so delighted with the stories you have given us 💗

Thank you for sharing all your incredible creativity and joy with us and giving us these gifts! You are a true marvel! 🖖💗🫂

I am honored, appreciative, and so damn grateful to close out this sweet sixteen of Star Trek: Picard prompt ficlets with these two gorgeous prompts from my wonderful, caring, kind, thoughtful, fantastic friend, @procrastinatorproject. 💕

For those who don’t know, I love Kirsten Clancy so much that I wrote an entire “autobiography” for the character, as well as an essay for Women at Warp about her importance. @procrastinatorproject’s generous prompt for me to revisit this character feels like a final gift from the lovely Picard fandom that has been so wonderfully supportive of these ficlets. Here are the last two, my dears, with deep gratitude from me for everything.

———

"So why's it so important anyway?" (Rios & Raffi)

For those who prefer to read on AO3:

For those who prefer to read here:

Time and Time Again

Cris isn’t usually a hoverer.

But he’s peeking over Raffi’s shoulder, pacing the decks of La Sirena, standing at Raffi’s elbow to ask — again — if the upload is complete.

The computer beeps readiness and the isolinear chip pops out, cool in Raffi’s hand.

“Here.” She’s ready to turn her attention to other tasks. There’s so much to do to get the ship ready for Seven. “Take it.”

Cris steps backward, away from the chip, pale when Raffi had expected him to be ruddy-faced with glee that she had finally finished copying such large files. “No, hermana. I want you to keep it.”

What?

This doesn’t make sense. Cris is the one who asked for the files, pestering Raffi for days to make the copies.

The smooth edges of the chip turn over and over in Raffi’s fingertips, light glinting off the surface as the chip tumbles, as if studying the outside would give her a clue as to why Cris wants her to have what’s inside.

This isn’t helping.

But she has to know.

“So why's it so important anyway?” Raffi slides the chip into her jacket pocket, pats the cloth to ensure the chip is snug and safe. “These files. I know they look like you, but they’re just holos.”

The breath that escapes from Cris is shaky, shuddery, somehow inward-facing even as the air expels outward. “They got me through a lot. So you keep them safe here,” Cris points toward Raffi’s jacket pocket, “and I’ll keep them safe here,” his fingers tap against the side of his own head, “and between the three of us — your chip, my brain, Seven on La Sirena — I’ll know those guys will be okay.”

Raffi could tell Cris that he worries too much.

She could tell him that nothing’s going to happen.

She could tell him that redundant failsafes for a bunch of holos is more than even his meticulous nature would seem to demand.

But, instead, Raffi nods, the chip secure in her pocket, and she promises to do her part to protect the photonic people Cris won’t say he loves in words, though he proves it in actions time and time again.

———

"Who do you fight for?" (Kirsten Clancy)

For those who prefer to read on AO3:

For those who prefer to read here:

Note: Content warning for deep, emotional pain associated with the destruction of Utopia Planitia and Mars.

Everything in My Power

It’s required — Starfleet counseling. Required after a loss.

Kirsten has been through it before, seen it from both sides as her counselor husband has overworked himself to cradle the psyches of those who were pushed from innocence into profound pain.

Wolf 359.

The Dominion War.

Now this, now Mars and Utopia Planitia. The planet her ancestors coaxed from ice is on fire. The station where ships were constructed — ships that carried her away — is stardust.

Ice has become fire.

Construction has become dust.

What has she become?

So she goes to counseling, meets with a blue-uniformed lieutenant who probably has gone to trainings led by her husband, and Kirsten doesn’t say anything.

She’s usually a talker. Gregarious, like most Martians. Eager to chatter and listen and relish the back and forth of conversation.

But what is there to say now?

Five counseling sessions are required.

Four more.

Three.

Two.

She has nightmares. Utopia Planitia glowing red — like a red alert only darker, more sinister — then the dream shifts and the people she loves look up to see a Martian sky split by flames.

When she’s awake, Kirsten understands her husband’s workaholic tendencies in a way she never has before. If she works hard enough, focuses enough on her job, then life will snap into balance, and her parents and brother and sisters, her aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews — everyone, all of them — will be waiting for her on Mars, red dust dancing in the air like it always does.

Always did.

She sits on the chair — always the chair, never the couch — for her last required counseling session.

“Kirsten,” the blue-uniformed lieutenant leans forward, “who do you fight for?”

She blinks.

The lieutenant repeats the question: “Who do you fight for?”

Kirsten fights for Starfleet. Like she always has. The service that binds the Federation together, the crews that become families, the exploration that widens perceptions and borders and knowledge.

But what does that mean when her own planet and people are gone? What does that mean when her children are part of a diaspora with no home?

The minutes of her last counseling session tick past and the question reverberates in Kirsten’s mind. Who does she fight for? Who does she fight for? Who does she fight for?

The session is over and she stands, shakes the blue-uniformed lieutenant’s hand, strides toward the door but stops, turns as if pulled by some invisible force to face her questioner.

“I fight …” her voice comes out reedy, weak, so Kirsten presses her palms to her thighs, stands straighter, lets air fill her lungs, “I fight for those who have no one to fight for them. I fight for realism in the face of cockeyed optimism and dour pessimism. I fight for truth. I fight for remembrance of what we have lost as a motivator to cherish what we have. I fight for myself and I fight for you and I fight for every member of Starfleet who puts on the badge and does the work to help us all become better as a Federation. I fight for the sake of fighting because life isn’t struggle — life is joy and love and kindness — but when we must struggle, we have an obligation to ourselves to fight the fights that are meaningful to us. And I won’t stop living, won’t stop fighting, won’t stop loving Starfleet even when it lets me down. Because the essential question of Starfleet isn’t who we fight for, the essential question of Starfleet is who we fight to protect, and I will do everything in my power to protect the people I have left.”

Kirsten doesn’t wait to hear what the blue-uniformed lieutenant has to say. She just walks out, walks away, her hand clasped on her badge, cool metal that becomes warm in her hand, and she keeps walking.

———

💗 Thank you all again and again — your wonderful, generous support has made this prompted Picard ficlet experiment fun and fulfilling. 💗

✨ All prompted Picard ficlets are available on AO3 as Decidedly Motley Stories. ✨

#questions prompt #i love asks #fanfic #star trek picard #star trek picard fanfic #cristóbal rios #raffi musiker #cris ​rios & raffi musiker #kirsten clancy #so much love for the picard fandom #procrastinatorproject

[ina-nis]

I’ve been trying something “new” to deal with my triggers about being around peers and friends and, so far, it’s been working but... I’m still stuck in black and white workarounds: either self-destruction, or complete dissociation, or the new one that will probably(?) get the same dysfunctional outcome?

I’ve been trying your typical CBT/self-help 101 strategies of unconditional self-love and acceptance and, well, it kind of works. The problem is how it reinforces avoidance/loneliness, but instead of it being out of fear of rejection, it’s due to me not wanting to water myself down for others’ comfort.

I told my therapist how I assumed it would go because of similar experiences I’ve had before and witnessed as well, like I said here, I’m going through the “being confident in myself” route and the result is that, in my mind, I feel like I am enough, literally. Like I don’t need other people and like, in fact, I do not have to change for anyone’s comfort - while these are all true for everyone and generally a good thing in itself; for me, because of these issues with avoidance/loneliness, it’s almost like shooting myself in the foot, “I do not need other people, I can be happy on my own”. You see where this is going?

It makes me afraid.

Even if it feels like it’s a good thing on one hand; on the other hand, it’s just reinforcing the loneliness - and no, none of those self-love books and things apply for people who have AvPD like this, no matter how much I fill my life with joy and self-love and whatever else I would like, they’re still not substitutes for the human connection I long for, the only thing that can fulfill that is other people. I have tried using other things to fulfill it and that only made it worse over time, so I stopped. Pets, hobbies, volunteering and any other activities are not and will never be substitutes, I tried all these and obviously, none have worked, so it’s safe to assume that’s not going to be the route I’ll take going forward.

What I assume will happen, and I already feel like it’s happening, is that this already huge gap between me and others will only get bigger the more I love and accept myself. Yes, I might actually become very strict and actually filter people through an even more minuscule funnel, that no one will be able to go through - as if that wasn’t the case already...

And the worst feeling and fear: that these will just make me look too intimidating on inaccessible for others. That I look too smart or wise, that I’m on a different level than others, that I look too cold and uninterested (even though I am naturally friendly and interested in people), and so on... and, as my therapist brilliantly concluded: that will inspire admiration from others, and nothing else.

I do not want people to admire me.

I want people to be with me, I want them besides me, fuck, I even want them in my pants, who knows?!

I don’t want to look or sound intangible. I’m a human like any other, I have needs and desires like any other and, for fuck’s sake, I don’t want to be alone anymore. I need a partner. I need friends. I need to feel safe around people and feel like my connections to them are actually safe.

If anything, the triggers are more under control and I guess taking the self-love path over the self-destruction one is a good thing, isn’t it? Even though I’m afraid, I think this is at least some form of harm reduction and that can’t be bad.

I’ll see where this will leave me, and hopefully, it will give me more clues about what to do and where to go...

#avpd #avoidance #avoidant #avoidant personality disorder #loneliness #inanis post

[maybeimhere]

Twisted Wonderland IRL, no magic + Americanized [Students Edition]

The inspiration came from a discord call where it somehow landed on this topic, so I figured why not subject everyone else to it

RIP your faves in advance bc they’re all getting dragged across the pavement 🪦

Note: There’s (a lot of) swearing and maybe mentions of bullying and there’s literally a line abt someone’s uncle being in jail for murder-

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts

Listen, we’ve all seen this bitch

He’s the fucking teacher’s pet

Don’t lie- you’ve probably thought about punching him or pushing him down the stairs at least once

He’s literally the kid who’d go “Teacher! This person’s cheating!” “Teacher! This person’s on their phone!” And on god, the teachers are also sick of him

You find out he’s got a rough life at home and go “yeah, that checks out” or some shit (this could literally apply to any one of these bitches actually)

Definitely joined the student council and tries too hard to enforce school policies and rules (and ofc no one cares)

I’m convinced he’d smell like cheese or bologna/baloney

Trey Clover

This guy is just the guy ever™️ when you first see him

He’ll be so fucking normal, you don’t expect anything off about him

But when you’re working with him on a project, you’ll hear him mumble the most fucked up, unhinged shit you’ve ever heard from anyone in your life

Bro, this bitch definitely has an uncle who went to jail for murder

I swear to god, this bitch would’ve also slipped some drugs into a bake sale and somehow get away with it

Anyway, don’t be alone in a room with him- he’d casually tell you about some fucked up shit or say smth so out of pocket you’ll be shocked and disturbed for like the next thirty years

Cater Diamond

He always updates his snapchat story every fucking second

This bitch absolutely posts pictures and videos of people without their permission- we’ve all seen his ass in the first chapter

Would absolutely film tiktoks in the middle of class

Would also block the doors and hallways for videos or pictures to post on social media (he a bitch for that)

He would definitely be doing the school announcements/news because fucking look at him

Oh yeah, and a guaranteed fuckboy too- can’t forget that

“Vote me for homecoming king!” And he gets like one vote that’s just from himself

Ace Trappola

He’s absolutely the kid who talks obnoxiously loudly with his buddies in class, in the halls, the cafeteria- everywhere really

Would also not pay attention during class and then have the fucking audacity to ask if he could copy your work

Absolutely got suspended at least once for fighting someone in the hallway (Riddle or Deuce: you choose)

I feel like he’d be trying to do one of those prank videos that aren’t even funny at all- it’s just pure cringe

This bitch still has leftover axe body spray from when he was in middle school

Deuce Spade

“Oh wow, look at this guy! He seems to know what he’s doin- never mind, he’s just crying”

This guy is fighting for his life in most classes because even though he’d take notes and pay attention to the lecture, he still has no clue wtf is going on

I feel like he’d love robotics class if that’s available, maybe woodworking too

Is the (main) friend Ace talks to in class

This guy would definitely fight a bully if he encountered one and would get suspended as a result (he was upsetti-spaghetti about it for days)

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar

Almost always absent or tardy- he just sleeps while he’s there

He’s the guy you’d think doesn’t care enough to get good grades but then you find out he’s aced the test or smth

You’re doing all the work if you got him as a partner for a group project- his name is on there too for decor

He’s captain of the football team

You’re fucking dead if you’re in the same PE class as him bc this guy can and will wreck your shit without trying

If there’s a class for woodworking, he’d be in there

Ruggie Bucchi

Don’t let him borrow anything unless you’re willing to permanently part ways with that object

Definitely started a side hustle where he’d give people snacks if they pay him- got busted for it too

Cafeteria food enjoyer

He definitely has a collection at home consisting of all the shit people have dropped in hallways and classrooms (pencils, erasers, lead, that sort of stuff)

Jack Howl

You thought he was the typical jock from movies but surprise- he has more than just muscles and balls floating around in his head

Deadass intimidating at first and looks like he’d pummel you if you bump into him in the halls, but this is the guy who’d help pick up your shit if you drop anything

Dude’s got all A grades

Probably has an honors class somewhere in his schedule too

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto

He definitely runs a social media account for the school and another where he spreads rumors

Works at the school store selling tickets for school events and school merch

He’s the guy you find working at McDonald’s or Starbucks after school and on weekends

You could definitely sense the potential school shooter in him

Jade Leech

You just don’t feel safe as soon as he enters the room

Bro could be like “let’s compare our work :)” and you’d still feel like he’d murder you and leave your remains in the woods

There’s definitely some sort of rumor that’s been floating around since freshman year about how he was once arrested for assault

Floyd Leech

Long man’s just ignoring the teachers and either showing up late or not at all

Y’all remember the “devious lick” trend? Yeah- now imagine Floyd and the field day he’d be having with that

Probably was the reason the school had a lockdown once (they found smth sus in his bag lmao)

Probably the kid who vapes in the bathroom- might smoke weed in there too

Scarabia

Kalim Al-Asim

Another loud mf in class but with people crowding around his desk before class, during work time, and during the last few minutes of class

If you sit next to him, you’d either be socializing and not doing your work or you’re just fucking dead (maybe you went to sit somewhere else the second you got the chance)

Would absolutely ask to copy your work and borrow your notes (the notes are only back and in shape because of Jamil)

He’d be eating in class and offering to share some with the people nearby

Somehow, he’s not on every teacher’s shit list

Jamil Viper

He’s just a guy

And then you see him blowing everyone out of the water with his sick ass choreo during a pep rally or talent show if the school has that

If he’s enabled to reach his full potential, then he’d be taking honors and AP courses

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit

You see/hear his name nearly everywhere bc he sometimes does school announcements, news videos, probably in the yearbook committee too, and because this is Vil, he’d be in the drama club

He does everything at this rate- he’s got more school spirit than anyone else for that alone

You can’t escape the 6’0 tall white man and his stilettos

Anyway, he’s also popular on social media bc he still got his modeling career outside of school

You’d think he doesn’t really do any work himself until you see him come into class tired because it turns out he’s spent nearly the whole night studying and reviewing his work for the test in class

Rook Hunt

Listen, this guy would absolutely get jumped by the football team

He stalked someone enough to where their discomfort evolved into a physical and violent confrontation lmao

That aside, this is the guy who stares at people throughout class

Maybe he sketches people, but he’s definitely sneaking some pics in to add to his collection

Shit reputation but at least his grades are nice (A to B range)

Epel Felmier

“Oh wow, he’s so pretty and cute-“ and then you find out he got arrested for stabbing someone like halfway through the school year

He keeps to himself and just does his work

Bro got dragged into the gay club (the GSA/Gay Straight Alliance or the drama club? Who knows 🤷‍♀️)

Definitely did that middle schooler thing where he jumps to smack the top of a doorway during his freshman year

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud

Distance/online learning

He does that partly because he’s agoraphobic and also because he got the shit bullied out of him back in middle school for doing Danganronpa poses and saying their voice lines (basically, it’s because he was doing weeb shit)

He won’t even show up for graduation

Last time he showed up on campus, he almost got arrested because he looked like a school shooter or because people didn’t realize he’s a student

Bro doesn’t even show up for any online meetings because he’s streaming on twitch

Ortho Shroud

Who is this freshman and what’s with the vibes?

He’s a friendly lad but you’ve probably seen a knife fall from his pocket before lmao

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia

You remove the horns and all you get is a goth guy 💀

Let’s be real, no one talks to him and don’t say you will unless you legit have balls of steel because this guy is within the range of too intimidating, it’s one of those things where it’s like “he’s so hot and mysterious😍 but how do I approach him 🤔”, or it’s the weird rumors listed after this

There’s a rumor about him killing someone over the summer

And another stemming from middle school about how he has no interest in people because he wants to fuck a gargoyle

And another that ended up with staff members having to look through his bag because someone spread a rumor about him either carrying a weapon to school or that there’s a dead animal in his bag

You only realize he’s just a bit weird but not in the fucked up rumors way when you get paired with him for a project lmao

Lilia Vanrouge

AP history

I feel like he managed to flood one of the bathrooms at least once

He’d also have crazy life stories to share like maybe he was home alone when someone broke into his house and he almost died

Don’t let him drive because he has the energy of someone who’d play bumper cars on the freeway

Silver

Either he’s just narcoleptic or it’s because he’s pulled an all-nighter for the nth time that week

He’s a chill enough guy who wouldn’t bother anybody

He wouldn’t even ask to copy your work- he’ll just ask to borrow your notes and return them when he’s done

Sebek Zigvolt

The racist white kid

He’ll be the fucker who cuts off the teacher mid-lecture just to ask some kind of question that makes him sound like a little smartass

Imagine he tries to justify slavery 💀

Definitely got punched at least once during the school year

He’s in the debate club 👁️

RSA

Alchemi Alchemivich Pinka (Che’nya)

Either he’s not even a student at your school but still somehow finds a way in and gets away with it, or he does go to your school but his attendance is a mystery

Either way, he’d show up wearing some really obscure outfits and it’d only get weirder during school spirit week

With or without school spirit week though, he’ll show up with swim trunks, a Hawaiian shirt, a flamingo floaty, and flippers on for one of the days in the school year (bonus if it’s in the middle of winter)

Lmao imagine he wins homecoming king and pulls up in the goofiest outfit possible

He got that vaper energy to him, so maybe he’s vaping in the piss chambers or in his car

He can drive and has his own car but it looks so extra

Neige LeBlanche

He gives the impression of a very sheltered and naive freshman, but then you realize he’s actually a junior and you have to wonder how he still hasn’t had some sort of existential crisis yet

He would’ve been forgettable if it weren’t for the fact that you hear/see his name everywhere along with Vil

He’s definitely been hit with so many deez nuts jokes because he falls for them so many times

You’re not getting the dwarves bc I don’t care about them (sorry bros)

Lmao you can tell I was running out of thoughts like half way through.

Anyway, that’s all the slander for now. Feel free to share your thoughts on these takes 👍

#buzz buzz the bitch speaks #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland headcanons #twst #twst headcanons #heartslabyul #savanaclaw #octavinelle #scarabia #pomefiore #ignihyde #diasomnia #neige leblanche #alchemi alchemivich pinka

[ban-joey]

list of star wars posts that irritated me. one was along the lines of “why are people so happy to not see jedi in something? they’re what make star wars unique from other scifi/fantasy” 1) wrong 2) let me explain

for one thing the need to have something so deeply entrenched in Multiple Genres be “unique” is very funny to me, because it’s not. og star wars is essentially an arthurian tale in space. add to that the fact that GL’s inspiration came directly from a bazillion ww1/2 films and you’re arguing a point about standing out that.. doesn’t really exist. sure the jedi are a “unique faction” to see in science fiction, but they’re also a religious order of space monks. even somebody who has never seen anything related to star wars could get some idea of the jedi based off that combination of words. 

second, why do you like the jedi so goddamn much? this is the thing that always frustrates me. there’s a difference between force-users and the capital J Jedi. you went from religious space monks in the original trilogy, to a fascinating shift in perspective in the prequels/clone wars in which they are religious space cops serving an increasingly fascist government when they’re supposedly not meant to get involved in government affairs unless it’s basically a human rights issue, but ultimately end up committing sooo many violations of that sort. they’re horrendous to the clones, to droids, regularly treating both groups the same--disposable and not-people. they’re not all-knowing and have absolutely no idea what’s coming for them when order 66 comes around, despite the unsubtle clues. hot take, obi-wan IS partially at fault for what ultimately happens to anakin--because he continued to uphold a dying system and ideology that actively drove people to the dark side and refused to connect on any emotional level with anyone because of the jedi code. 

i love the jedi for their flaws, and star wars is ultimately at its most interesting fantastical point when it criticizes them, as in TLJ. burning the codex was poignant and cool as hell. but limiting star wars to just the jedi is just dull. there’s so much more going on there, politically, sociologically, economically, etc. you get the bare minimum information about that packaged in bad writing in the prequels and the clone wars cartoon, little itty bitty morsels of finally fleshing this strange galaxy out in a way that makes some sort of disjointed sense. andor takes the whole thing at face-value and decides to turn it into something legible and personal in a way star wars hasn’t since the originals. it proves that you don’t need the jedi to make star wars cool, and yet every time there’s a red herring with luthen, I lose my fucking mind, because I love the idea of finally getting an INTERESTING jedi. but i would honestly prefer it if he wasn’t. 

star wars is cool and interesting because of all that (politics & logistics), having cool big huge ships and caring about that design in terms of speed and what those ships are used for (i.e. tie fighters were created to patrol planets, not chase after X-wings, which is why they eat it a lot), time scales that make no fucking sense apart from trying really hard to make space smaller than it is, unique sound design, differing designs of people and planets that star trek couldn’t come anywhere close to, and a lot more. 

also, just because this is the most obvious point. the jedi are fucking dead in andor. yeah yeah certain people escaped. they’re in hiding. do you remember how obi wan went to be a hermit for like 20 years. yall just fucking forget about order 66 as soon as you complain about there not being jedi in something. do you understand the scale of that situation. do you understand how many people were killed. fake fan

#i am just ranting a little bit. i am not a fan of the jedi. #as like an order. force users are interesting kind of but. fuck the jedi fr