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coughsyrups · 9 months

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there are so many thoughts stirring in my head and now that i’ve sat down to start spewing them out i’m overwhelmed by the magnitude and stuck, like i’m trying to squeeze chunks of my emotions through a hole big enough to fit one at a time, but easily blocked by many. i can’t say everything i want to say all at once. i backtrack, and repeat myself, and wander aimlessly around what i want to say like a fool.

i think i’m going crazy.

getting better is never linear. life imitates art imitates life imitates poetry; which is art, which, naturally, imitates life. don’t romanticize your suffering, because pain isn’t necessarily beautiful, and just because you can find beauty in your sorrow doesn’t mean you needed to suffer. just because you put your vase back together with golden glue doesn’t mean it never broke in the first place. being fragile and pretty and traumatized is not cool, actually, and i’m sick of the metaphors, and the narrative, and especially the foreshadowing.

i have always read writings written on walls. and i sit down and i write my little songs about it, and when i get hurt inevitably it’s marginally easier because i knew it was going to happen. and i already wrote some four chord ABAB bullshit that i can sing over and over again until i process it by desensitizing myself to the situation. because i have to make everything funny, i have to make everything palatable, i have to make everything art. and i haven’t been creating art lately. god, haven’t i suffered enough? this isn’t the kind of suffering i know how to write about. not having money to eat isn’t something you just slip into the second verse. i’ve tried and tried, and no one ever sees the part where i try except for him. they see me quitting jobs, they see me calling out sick, they see me spending forty bucks on chinese takeout when i have bills and rent and appointments. what about me holding two jobs with 60 hour work weeks, and STILL struggling to save a fucking a dollar? i overwork myself to the point of burnout, and when i get a pitiful fucking nothing paycheck there’s nothing i can really do to hold out any longer mentally. so i quit. so i chase a dollar’s worth of a promotion and jump from job to job, sitting at the lowest rung, looked over and taken advantage of and talked about and misgendered, misgendered, misgendered. i want to hide!! i don’t want to see myself in windows walking from job one to job two, i hate everything about my body, and i use it as an excuse to not correct people using the wrong pronouns for me, which just makes me hate it even fucking more. oh, i understand why people use she/her, my boobs are just so big teehee!! but i don’t get how nobody even fucking tries. i’m not saying i’m some magical perfect person but i make an effort, a conscious, serious effort, to remember people’s pronouns, to ask their pronouns, to properly gender them. the only people who use my pronouns consistently are max and my mom, who are both cisgender. it hurts so bad when my trans friends don’t use my pronouns. you should know more than anyone! how much it sucks! do i have to take hormones? do i have to “dress nonbinary”? i don’t want to change my voice, i don’t want to change my closet, i don’t want to change anything except my chest, and that’s more a health and comfort and weight thing than dysphoria!

if i don’t get this breast reduction, i genuinely feel like i might give up entirely. on everything. on living well. on waking up. because wouldn’t that just be fucking great? the chance to be comfortable in my body for the first time since i was… 14? 15? if this gets ripped away from me i might just run away, i don’t know! i don’t have a cent to my name but i could do it. go home, work a job for a few months. save up a couple hundred. then go no contact with everyone who’s ever known me. buy a plane ticket. move somewhere far, where the cost of living is low, and just restart. i could steal my documents. i could figure something out. craigslist exists, i’m sure someone needs a roommate. would my loved ones try to find me? i’d leave a note, of course. something to say that i’m gone, and that i might come back, but i don’t know when. would they be willing to wait? i don’t know what i’d want them to do. part of me would want to be found, like some princess in a castle, waiting to be rescued and returned to the kingdom. but if i chose to leave, i would want to stay gone. maybe after a few months, i would send a letter. no return address, of course. i don’t want them to think i got murdered.

i don’t want to make people sad. i don’t want people to hate me. i don’t want people to even dislike me. i want to be loved, and make people happy, and be everybody’s best friend who they can talk to about anything. but i’m lonely, and i’ve always been lonely, and i always will be lonely. in every lifetime, every timeline, every minute, i’ve always been a step removed, like the narrator is possessing my body and observing characters in a story. i can see them, and they can see me, and we can talk and have fun, but i’m here to see this story through. i’m here to tell this story. i’m here to check for plot holes and predict the twists nobody sees coming, and then when everything’s over i move on to the next chapter. moving along like everything is fine. that’s just how the story goes, nothing i can do. i am lonely, and this last year and a half has been nice, because i think max is lonely like i am. i think we deal with it in different ways. i think i’m fighting my loneliness, challenging it, trying to change how i’m written, but he handles it so well. he can be alone, not that he always wants to be, but even when he doesn’t want to be alone, i don’t think it drives him half as insane as it drives me.

i want to rip my hair out, or shave it off, or give myself bangs. i want to scream, but everybody wants to scream. i want to drive my car off a bridge. (i want to fly.) i want to float motionless at the bottom of a bathtub. (my hair makes a halo.) and see? there’s the metaphors. there’s the poetry, and the art, and the symbolism, oh the symbolism, because i can’t just process my feelings like normal people do. but this is good, because the alternative to writing this is laying awake thinking this. or, rather, thinking three sentences at once, because of all these voices in my head talking over each other. i’m at the breaking point. i don’t want anyone to help me right now, i don’t want someone on snapchat messaging me “ily! i hope u feel better soon” which is ironic considering how many of those messages i’ve sent to others.

i’m confused. i don’t think i’m scared. but i’m anxious. and i’m frustrated. i don’t know what to do, going forward? i’m not gonna run away to wyoming. i’m not gonna kill myself. i have to keep living. and keep going. i have to prove to myself that things will get better. it’s sunk cost fallacy, i didn’t kill myself at 19 so why should i now? i could’ve then. maybe i should’ve, the only people i would’ve hurt would have been my family. nobody else was close enough to me where they wouldn’t be able to get over it. it’s funny, getting dumped after a month was the end of the world to me back then. like a kid, falling off their bike and skinning their knee, screaming and wailing so hard at the sight of a few drops of blood and some scraped skin that the neighbors come outside to see what’s wrong. the world is ending! but it’s not. you put on a bandaid and move on.

i’ve had worse injuries since then. and even though they hurt just as bad, i learned to push through the pain, to conquer it mentally. i’ve put on a lot of bandaids. but i’m not trying to minimize how it felt in the moment, because it is the worst thing you have yet experienced. and each time you have a worse experience, you’re better equipped to deal with it. even better, when you experience something of equal or lesser trauma, it’s no big deal! you’ve had worse! wayyyy worse. what i’m saying is, how i felt that night in 2019 was valid, because i had never experienced heartbreak before. i didn’t know how to deal with it. i didn’t know i could hurt like that. now i’ve been hurt like that so many times that i can shut it off, deal with it mentally, think it through, push through the pain. and i hope i come to a day when i feel the same way about right now.

i’ve met the love of my life. i’m scheduled for a life changing surgery. i’m finally been living on my own. i have two sweet little kitties. and i’ve been trying hard not to let the negatives outweigh the positives, but that’s not the full picture. i’m not being negative when i say things are bad right now. i’m being honest. things aren’t perfect between max and i. i have this weird sense of jealousy where i think about how i’m the “first partner he’s actually, genuinely loved” and also, the first partner* he hasn’t actually, genuinely fucked. (*a few outlier relationships have been excused from this statement.) and that’s so stupid, right? it’s so shallow. isn’t this what i wanted, something beyond just a sexual agreement between two people who don’t seem to like each other all that much? yes, it is, and i am grateful, i am beyond grateful to love someone who loves me, and cares for me and about me, who i love to spend time with and talk to, who i fall asleep next to. i just get this hangup. why not me? i know the answer. the answer is i’m not pressuring him to do something he doesn’t want to do, and that will never change. i’m not going to guilt trip him into having sex with me, and the thought of ever doing that makes me sick. but i feel odd thinking that there’s other people who have loved him, just like me, that shared this experience with him, and i haven’t. and i don’t know when i will. if i will? i don’t know!

the surgery has me scared. not because it’s a surgery, i’m not scared about complications. but what about the money, how long will i be paying this off for? what if there’s an issue with healing? an infection? breasts become misshapen? bottom out? uneven? i gain more weight and they grow again? as soon as i’m able to i need to work out. i don’t want to have my stomach be larger than my breasts and that’s probably going to be the case after the surgery. i just hope i like the way i look. i know i’ll be more comfortable but i just… i didn’t think this would happen so soon. this happened incredibly fast and i have barely begun to process it. i’m just basically half dissociative every day at this point.

and august is our last month in the apartment, and then we’re moving home. i won’t live with max anymore. i won’t live with the girls anymore. no more late night hot tub, no more queen sized mattress, no one holding me every night. everything’s going to be over. everything that we built here, we’ll try to get a storage unit but what if we can’t, what if we have to get rid of everything? we don’t have a lot of space in our new living situations. it just doesn’t seem fair.

i wish the money from the tax return had been spent wiser. i wish max hadn’t been unemployed for so long. i wish i could work 60 hour weeks without getting burnt out. i wish i made $100 a minute for playing cookie run. wouldn’t that be nice?

and now… the lawsuit. where do i begin? it’s entirely unreal. i thought i felt insane, now i’m starting to think i actually am. this is some serious psychosis, lilia, you should be admitted asap. i want this to happen for him and his family, they deserve it more than anything, i don’t really know… what i’m supposed to say about it though? i don’t want to say anything. i just want to say, cool, you have money now, my shift starts in ten minutes though so i have to go, i’m already late. what does this change? does this change anything? why would it? it’s just money. but then i think about when i was working runrun and the saint, working til 3 in the morning, crying and panicking over being a hundred short for something or other. is that over now? forever? i don’t know how he’s planning on budgeting/using it, i don’t want to say a word of advice to him on it unless he asks me. he doesn’t need unsolicited advice from me. this has been happening his entire life, and i’ve known for like, two days? there’s nothing i can say or suggest that he hasn’t already thought of.

but it’s strange to think about how this has been here the whole time, in the background, beyond my knowledge. never mentioned. never explained. “well i bet you have it figured out by now” no actually! despite how badly i’ve been wanting to snoop or eavesdrop out of curiosity, i have fully respected your wishes to keep this private! all i thought it was was some sort of settling of affairs. how the fuck would i have ever been able to guess a fraction of this situation?

i guess it’s not the worst thing to be blindsided by. at least you don’t have like, a kid, idk. but i hate to say it… if you were hiding this for so long, what else is there? is there anything else you haven’t told me? you’ve never given me a single ghost of a reason not to whole heartedly trust you and believe you’re giving me the full story. until now! that’s what i feel weird about. that’s why i’m kind of upset. what else do i not know about you? i’m pretty sure you know everything about me.

i love you. that hasn’t changed. i’ll always love you. i just don’t know why you let yourself be unemployed for over a month. i don’t understand how you could keep something as crazy as this under the table for our entire relationship. today is actually a year and a half from our first date. a year and a half without a word, except for, “would you be mad if i pulled a crazy rich asians on you?” i guess i should’ve said, no, i would not be mad at all! if you had worked that month, we might not be moving out. or we might still be, i don’t know. i’ll never know, because that’s not what happened.

i’m tired. see, this is how my writing always goes. all deep and flowery and full of metaphorical rambling that doesn’t make sense and is way too self referential and meta. but then the moment i start talking about my relationships i get more direct. and, idk, sassy. and i start saying fuck.

hey. you say you wish i could’ve met your dad almost every time you talk about him. and i’ve never told you this, because i don’t want to sound crazy, but i probably am crazy, and knowing me i’ll show you this some day, or, knowing you, you’ll just find it, so basically, i don’t mind sounding crazy. you wish i could’ve met him, and i wish so as well, but in a way, i feel like i already have. i see him in you, in how you act, and how you talk about him, and the stories, and the rare pictures and videos. when you’re talking about him, i feel like he’s here, next to us. i think we would’ve been friends. i think he would’ve liked my tattoo. i think he would’ve liked my music. i think he would’ve liked my family. he’s your angel, and that sounds silly, and i don’t mean it super literally, nor do i mean it in a cheap psychic way. i think what we put into the world stays there, our love. you have his love. you carry that with you, and i think you also carry his pain, because no one else was there to pick it up for him after he was gone. i don’t know what else to say, just that i’ve always felt connected to him through you. your love for each other is so strong that i can see it today.

pain isn’t beautiful. neither is suffering. it’s a misconception, because what’s really beautiful is perseverance, and strength, and every little good thing in the world. the scar is beautiful, but that wound isn’t. just because the healing was because of the pain, that doesn’t mean the pain was what created the beauty. we shouldn’t need to hurt.

thanks to sunk cost fallacy, i’m going to get better, because i missed my chance to kill myself four years ago, and now i have no choice but to keep living, to keep loving, and to make new reasons to stay alive. the only way out is through, because you can only go forward, and i missed the suicide exit and now i’m stuck on the bridge of recovery.

at least i have a sunpass.

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bthump · 3 years

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If you could end berserk with either griffith and guts killing each other or guts joining griffith, which one would you choose? There's romance and poetry in both scenarios

Yeah ia, either would be great. Honestly this is tricky lol. I mean if it was fic I think I’d say Guts not exactly joining Griffith but taking off together with him. Guts has gone berserker and murdered his rpg group and lost his revenge boner bc he’s in no place to judge anymore. Griff upon being made undeniably aware that his feelings still exist goes for broke, knowing how hard he fucked himself last time, and decides to just embrace it this time. God told him he can do whatever he wants, and this is what he actually wants.

So if Guts is at his side he can go ‘ok I’ve achieved my dream and now I can do something else’ and hand the utopia off to Charlotte. I’m sure there’s a handwavy explanation for the apostles not turning on everyone once he leaves. Maybe they only need his presence anywhere in the world to be good.

So Griff meets Guts somewhere and is like ‘hey so I lied that time on the hill of swords‘ and Guts is like fuck it this might as well happen, and they go off into the dragon-filled world to be monstery humans or humany monsters together.

BUTTTTT I don’t think I would actually choose that as the canon ending, because like... idk, I really want them to kill each other lol. I mean maybe if I had total creative control in this hypothetical I might go with it. But if this is a hypothetical where Miura’s writing it and I’m just picking the direction for the ending to go, then I’d definitely opt for both of them killing each other.

Like I think it’s where the story was going, and it’s an ending I really did want to see Miura write. It could be really satisfying thematically and on a character level, it could bring a lot of things full circle, and ultimately I think the most appropriate way for Guts’ story to end is with his death. He’s been living his life by throwing himself into mortal danger and fighting his way out by the skin of his teeth, ie death-seeking, so imo his two narratively-fulfilling options are to grow out of that by addressing his issues and becoming emotionally healthier, and settle down to live a quiet domestic life, or to finally throw himself into danger he can’t struggle his way out from and “die smiling.” The former is pretty much out of the question because we know Guts was going to backslide thanks to mountains of foreshadowing and also I don’t want it anyway because it would necessarily mean getting over Griffith.

And I think having Griffith focused on him and seeing a glimpse of his not actually frozen love would be just the thing to get him to die with a smile on his face - tho ofc it would also be a tragic death, like there would have to be a strong sense of regret and lost chances etc too imo.

And it just feels right for them to have one last brief glimpse of their emotional connection before dying. Like, at least for me, the ending where they get back together raises too many questions about how the fuck they exist in relation to each other now. I like the idea of ending with them going off together, but I can’t imagine what that would look like day to day lol. Same with Guts joining him in Falconia or whatever, it’s like... awkward to think about to me, yk? I like the conclusiveness of them dying a little better, I think.

#i'm not really a big fan of the idea of Guts actually joining Griffith again #but that doesn't mean they can't get together post eclipse in other ways lol #but yeah i still want guts to die i think #ask #a #b #theme: ending #ship: griffguts #headcanons #canon continuation #anonymous #thanks for the ask!

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snickiebear · 3 years

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Hi bby! 1, 2, 3, 6, 16, 27, 29, 33, 35! 🖤

mittens!!! loml!!

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

oh goodness... um, i’d say a 4?? yeah, that sounds about right, only because i often make so many tense mistakes and even when i edit there’s always something to fix. and just,,, im still learning a lot (aren’t we all). plus, sometimes the stuff i put out needs so much more work (see: my recent shisaku fic... i want to tear it up and put it back together.. ugh.. also wt&r, just everything)

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

OH GOODIE! i just... well, i wrote a lot when i was twelve-fourteenish, then kind of on and off through the years. never really had anything to ground me and get me to take writing seriously. and then i found naruto and sakura who has so much unused potential and it just made me so angry to see her treated that way.

point being, the naruto fandom (more specifically the sakura fandom) rooted me down and allowed me be able to grow as a writer even though i’ve only been posting since january my writing style has changed so much, and i can physically feel myself becoming a better writer.

plus, i just love it. the thrill of being able to use these characters and pairings and do what i want with them?? i drink it up, i love it!!! its so freeing and such a great way to really dig deep within writing itself.

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

i think its just the way i word things, you and a lot of others call it poetry but meh i just call it fancy words or word vomit from my brain AHAHHAHA

also, my thing is God Killers, God Eaters, and Angry Wrathful Women at this point, so maybe thats another thing?

but honestly,,, i have no clue... you’d have to ask my lovely readers, im so thankful for them 😭

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

plot probably. this changes often though. usually when i have an idea, the rest comes to mind and i jot it down and come back and change things and stuff, so thats usually pretty easy tbh... at least for now LMAO

and inner dialogue, inner struggles, showing the entire internal thing. its fun writing that angsty part of a story, the small insights into a character’s mind, how miserable and alone they feel. or, perhaps how happy they are, overjoyed and at peace.

OH AND WORLD BUILDING. i pride myself so much on my world building. i honestly think thats one of the better things im good at! just weaving small details into the text, and subtly building a world within your mind, oh i love it so much!!!!

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

mmmm nothing really comes to mind? men simping for women who could kick their ass? tho idk if thats really a guilty pleasure....am very fond of same age aus, sometimes mafia aus too... ummm,, yeah

(probably big dick tenzo tbh... and the fact that kakashi’s face is a legal weapon AHAHAHA,,, and broken, vunreble men. also, shattered, all consuming women.)

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

oh god... i cannot chose! you, ele, al, and hika leave the kindest comments, and literally any comment on the things i write just make me so so so so so HAPPY. i just them more than kudos tbh.

but! one comment on the intimacy of being understood i always come back to. it was left by GuardianMars and they wrote that the fic was like a “love letter to the pairing.” and that well. i think about that comment all the time.

there have been so many others comments that have utterly touched my heart and that i will go to read on terrible, horrible days and i value ALL comments. especially those who say “i’m rereading this again” or “i’ll read anything you put out” that just. there is something so intimate about that, that utter faith and loyalty that i do not know what to do with.

its so touching and makes me truly believe in the good of the world.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

yes! i am attempting to get better at writing smut because ol&w is going to have some fucking in it so i experimented in that shisaku fic and just..... yeah idk man. idk... its something i do want to get better at cause, meh why not? and i want to write some good porn for my readers damnit! HAHAHA

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

hmmm,,, probably that i stress so much and yet so little at the same time? allow me to elaborate! i stress so much about whether my writing is actually good or if people are just being nice LMAO and also posting, i get cold sweats and a thumping heart and yiKES

but also, i enjoy writing so its like “fuck you (jk ily guys) imma write what i wanna!”...do you see my issue? HAHAHA

also, im a planner. most of the time, and a lot of the details in my more serious fics (ol&w) are blink and miss details but they’re important and i LOVE foreshadowing!!!! like yes, i will vaguely mention something and itll simply come back with a vengeance!

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

aaaaaa okokok thank you for this ask LMAO i just love talking about writing and rambling (as i often do,, im a long winded person, im very sorry)!

but anyways! my summer semester just started up and i’m taking three purely online classes and the college im attending (im a dual enrollment student; meaning a high school and college kid,, taking advantage of the system!) fucked up my schedule so! im taking two TWELVE WEEK CLASSES that will end in AUGUST???? and then my fall sem starts five days later so... no summer break for nadia! yay...

writing will be very slow and updates will be too, which i am so sad and frustrated about because i’ve finally hit a paved road and now we’re driving into the forest! all bumps and bruises damnit! BUT worry not! i (as i said above, am i severe planner. every day has a plan, i am also an avid lover of lists also. i have lists for EVERYTHING) am working out a schedule so that i can get all my school shit done as soon as i can (while not failing) and write while hopefully not burning myself out.

ol&w is such an intricate fic and im truly trying to give it the justice it deserves,,, im just hoping that my dear readers can bear with me HAHAHAHA there is honestly so much going on in that fic; shikamaru’s development, the underlying plot, the hate to love build up, the world building, and then laying down the foundations for the next fic (because yes, this is supposed to be a trilogy.. question is; will i be able to write it?) (answer: maybe. hopefully. i desperately want to but it might take some time.)

BUT ASLO i have so many oneshots i want to write! kisame week! kakashi week! kibasaku long fic! and not to mention my og work that i plan on rewriting and putting up on ao3 because a few people showed some interest. there is just so much to do and write and i am itching to do it all! but. well, but school, and the exhaustion of insomnia, and the weight of stress, sigh.

shit sucks, it is what it is. but writing is like my safe haven and i just love pouring all myself into my fics and then baring my soul to you all and you take a peek and decide to keep looking. that is my favorite part of this little pocket of tumblr.

this was not really... fic related? more like a dump of issues! so sorry about that AHAHAHAH

anyways! thank you so much mittens! :)))))))))

pick my brain!

#silly things from silly friends

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djmarinizelablog · 3 years

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from this

9, 11 and 17?

have a great day!!

Hi, Rika! Thanks for asking :)

[sidenote: I just realized I didn't hit publish, so this has been in my drafts this whole time??? My apologies! ]

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I consume a gazillion of art tbh---music, movies, novels, poetry, and of course, fanfiction. Art inspires more people to make art, and I live by it. Other than that, I talk to a lot of other artists about their styles and influences (hence why some of my conversations with people end up as interviews). It's really amazing whenever they bring up the artists they look up to and why they look up to them; it gives you a sense of their artistic process, too!

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

In terms of writing fanfics, I think I've gotten better in writing narratives, which is something I've always struggled with since my creative writing days. I can't say I'm an absolute expert at it by now, but I'm more aware of the different POVs and plot points that I inject into my stories.

In Sycamores, I really wanted to focus on the literal imagery and the metaphorical symbolisms which include the foreshadowing of how this particular tree separates and joins Levi and Hange together in this world and the next. Free-Falling has that aspect, too: what do skydiving, science research, and falling in love have in common? I love nitpicking on the complexities of these themes.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

"It's okay for your writing style to change over time."

I've lamented about this to my writer friends (many of them are now in the academe, have published their own books, have won literary grants and awards, and have been to several writing conventions local and abroad). And I try not to compare, I really try. My friends are amazing people, and they keep reminding me that one's writing is ever-changing, ever-involving. It grows with us throughout the years. It grows even more when we realize how we see ourselves over time.

That's why I'm thankful for the support that I've received so far. I'm still experimenting on my own writing style---many of you can probably tell that each of fic of mine is written differently, but regardless of how it turns out in the end, whether or not I arrive at a consistent style, I appreciate the fact that fandoms celebrate all works of art regardless of how it was made. You'll always find the right people who will appreciate your work. :)

ask questions; get to know me, maybe

#writing #fanfic #fanfiction #mine #ask #djmarinizela #open

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kiss-my-freckle · 4 years

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2x8 Rewatch: Su-zakana A small dish used to cleanse the palate.

This episode and the finale are my two favorite episodes of season two.

The opening conversation between Will and Jack is about Hannibal, that's why Alana gets upset. A reality where only you and the fish exist, that's when she gets shoved aside for what Hannibal really wants. "Your lure is the one thing he wants, despite everything he knows." Despite Will already trying to kill Hannibal, despite Hannibal claiming he can't trust Will. The stressing of words is obvious, but funny. Will's turn to provide the meat, Hannibal's live bait sitting at the table. Back to what Hannibal said of him in season one. He doesn't just reflect, he absorbs. Will absorbed everything Hannibal put him through. "This fish is delicious." The writing is superb, I just love it. "We are the only ones who will know what this feels like." Back to Gideon's flashback scene. “I'm just fascinated to know how you will feel when all of this happens to you.” The bait is already imagining what Hannibal tastes like. What Gideon learned simply by listening.

I love how some bits of story end up in other bits of story. A human in a horse to a human in a pig. "The horse is a chrysalis, a cocoon meant to hold the young woman until her death could be transformed." How Will connects in this episode. "You'll have to find someone who doesn't think like anyone else to catch him." Hannibal isn't fooling anyone. That’s why Will is the best fisherman. It’s too bad Hannibal has a great sense of smell.

There's so much wrong with Mason Verger, it's digusting. He's the character I hate most. He gets off on everything. "Doing bad things to bad people makes us feel good." Yes it does. I'm glad bad things happen to Mason. "The only thing stranger than finding a woman inside a horse... Is seeing you back in therapy with Will Graham." lmao! Hannibal questions if it's really that strange. Uhm... he tried to kill you, so yes. Hannibal feeds her a line to make her feel better about the situation. She's not the reason Will tried to kill him.

A lot of discussion going on as they examine the victim, about cannibalism and absorption. Hannibal cannibalizes. Will absorbs. "Our experiences shape us. How is this experience going to shape Will?" So glad the drill didn't cut into the bird that was flapping in her chest. Will enters the stables, and he’s looking very attractive. "I don't want you to see me. I don't want you to see what I do. But I want to calm you, comfort you. There's so much comfort in darkness." Hannibal amongst horses with blindfolds. "I took your life and tried to give it back to you. I find the womb, and place you inside. I hope that the forces of death and biology will bring you rebirth." This theme of rebirth ends up in session with Hannibal. Transforming. Becoming. That's why Hannibal wanted him on this case, death and rebirth. He and Alana discussed it, how they both buried Will. He and Jack discussed it, how they were both mourning his death. I love Will's ability to understand people. The way he is with Peter is just... beautiful. He realizes how best to bait Hannibal, finds the answer in his own words. "I don't know if he's the killer, Jack. If he is, he never meant to be. And if he isn't, he knows who is." Playing the role of a killer. Jack in one corner, knowing he's not a killer. Hannibal in the other corner, believing that he is. A slow assuming of the role to make it appear real. This slow assuming of Will's killer role starts with Peter and the horse.

The theme of death and rebirth with the killer. The theme of death and rebirth in session with Will. There's huge reason for this, and that's Abigail, so I’m adding her flashback. "I'm so sorry, Abigail. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you in this life. Blood rituals involve a symbolic death, and then a rebirth." Hannibal has no idea Will is baiting him, Will has no idea Abigail is alive.

Hannibal talks about one dead creature giving birth to another. It makes me think of the Great Red Dragon and his wings. I love Will's response to Hannibal's denial. It serves a dual purpose. Denying makes it all the less real. He needs Hannibal all-in when he baits him. A real friendship is an honest one. "Stop right there. You may have to pretend, but I don't. I don't expect you to admit anything. You can't. But I prefer sins of omission to outright lies, Dr. Lecter. Don't lie to me." While baiting him, Will needs to be forceful, which can be felt in his tone. He sounds like a killer that's in control when he delivers this line. Admitting he fantasizes about killing Hannibal is a smart move. To say he doesn't would raise a red flag. Might as well be honest with what he can be honest about. From Margot to Will, "That doing bad things to bad people makes you feel good?"

My God, this line. "I don't want to kill you anymore, Dr. Lecter. Not now that I finally find you interesting." Here we are, back to the pilot episode. "I don't find you that interesting." This statement gives Hannibal reason to offer more of himself. If Will finds him interesting, then keep him interested. Back to what Gideon said. “It's hard to have anything isn't it? Rare to get it, hard to keep it." Hannibal has to keep Will's attention if he plans to keep Will.

Brian said something that I felt of all the characters, and it’s one of the reasons I loved Beverly. "That didn't stop Beverly from questioning it." Will works with the FBI. He's not an agent because of the screening process. He replays crimes for them. With the amount of evidence stacked against him, I would've questioned it. Someone like Will wouldn't be that dumb, and he certainly wouldn't push to prove a suicide is murder. Brian’s apology was genuine, that's why I started liking him this season. Margot is a nice cross-comparison.

Will's conversation with Peter, my God. "You couldn't save her, but you could bring poetry to her death." That's Abigail. "Do you have a shadow, Peter? Someone only you can see. Someone you considered a friend. He made you feel less alone. Until you saw what he really is." Peter has his own Hannibal. "No... No one will believe me. He'll make sure no one will believe me." Will was in a one-sided friendship. I thoroughly enjoy him this season.

He puts it out there for Hannibal.

Will: That's smart. She keeps pushing him on his feelings, not on the facts. She's trying to gauge how comfortable he is with emotion, if he has any. He couldn't bear being touched by her. Hannibal: Yes, his responses are typical of psychopaths during interviews, but could also be resentment. Will: No, his eyes are dead. He's a predator.

The cross-comparison with Hannibal and this social worker is hilarious. Back to fishing with Jack. "Make him act on instinct. He's always a predator." The social worker's person suit isn't well-tailored. Will takes a nice jab at Hannibal, but at the same time, he's upset because he cares about Peter. "Peter Bernardone is psychologically disadvantaged. He's been manipulated. As his social worker, this man is in a position of trust, and he has betrayed that trust." Jack fits nicely into his role. I really hate this social worker. He knows exactly how to hurt Peter, the healer of animals. Peter cries over the dead horse that kicked him in the head. Like Hannibal placing his murders on Will, this social worker places his on Peter. "If I had killed them, it would be because they were worthy of me." Hannibal views his victims as pigs. "I used to have... Used to have a horrible fear of... Of hurting anything. But... He helped me get over that." Will's fear, the price of his imagination. "What was done to you was cruelty for cruelty's sake." Will doesn't know how to feel. "I envy you your hate." He thinks hate would allow him to kill Hannibal. "I think I hate him." Love is a dominating feeling. Even with as much as his social worker hurt him, love dominates. I think Peter's words give Will direction in his plan. "I just wanted him to... To understand what it's like to... To suffocate and to... To... To experience the destiny that he created."

Hannibal shown petting a lamb as the social worker climbs out of the horse. A nice foreshadow of things to come. Hannibal is hilarious. "Might want to crawl back in there if you know what's good for you." Will doesn’t plan to kill the social worker. He and Hannibal just had this conversation. "You're not alone, Will. I'm standing right beside you." They're now playing on that conversation. Will is baiting with the idea first, allowing Hannibal to believe he's capable, this allows him to believe everything that follows. "With all my knowledge and intrusion, I could never entirely predict you. I can feed the caterpillar, and I can whisper through the chrysalis, but... What hatches, follows its own nature and is beyond me." The fish bites, and Will knows it.

Gorgeous scene. "She's trying to gauge how comfortable he is with emotion, if he has any.” For Hannibal to understand, he has to feel. His “person suit” has to come off.

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callmemythicalminx · 4 years

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Book Review: Lessons In Corruption by Giana Darling

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where do I begin to describe how much I love this book, this series and this incredible author. I can’t count on both hands how many times I’ve re-read each book in the Fallen MC series, that’s how much I dearly adore them. As a frequent reader of taboo and motorcycle club romances, I was especially siked when I first read Lessons in Corruption to hear that it was an age gap (which all the books in the series are) and was student-teacher too.

Cressida Irons has spent the better part of her youth living a life never fully her own. Groomed to be a perfect, higher society housewife by her parents, she married her much older next-door neighbour at the age of eighteen, believing she was going into a marriage of excitement and adventure. Quickly, however, she realised her naive teen fantasies wouldn’t come true with her husband. After having an epiphanic glimpse into a more fulfilling and exciting life after seeing a man who could only be described as a chrome king, she leaves her secure husband and family behind. Starting over on her own two feet, she never expects to see the man who inspired her to escape her meagre life, never mind fall in love with him. But when she truly meets him, a man destined to be a king of the lawless and free, rearing to show her the world at his feet, she can’t help but want to be his rough and tumble queen. Only one problem- he’s her student.

‘Before King (B.K), I’d enjoyed my books, going on long walks through Stanley Park and hanging out with my parents. A freaking pathetic list. Now, I loved riding on the back of King’s black-and-chrome customised Harley Davidson with my breasts to his leather jacket and my hair in the wind’

King Kyle Garro, a man of only eighteen, who holds the weight of his predestined path to become the president of the Fallen MC on his shoulders like a bad omen. Forced to be a protector and adult from a young age by the world around him, he’s mature and intelligent beyond his years, with a desire to be more than is expected from him. When he saw Cressida gazing enraptured at him across a sun-soaked parking lot, he knew that she would be his, even if it meant he’d have to corrupt her in the process. Their age gap or the fact that she’s his teacher does nothing to deter him from seducing and showing Cressida how to truly live, he’s a man that gets what he wants and with her, he’ll stop at nothing to get his queen.

“Got shit for it when I was a kid but I’m a romantic. Read fuckin’ Wuthering Heights when I was eight and got hooked on the classics. Always knew I’d meet a girl, want her, take her and keep her forever. That would be it for me”

Though this is, of course, a romance and this story does include snippets of all the usual love tropes, the budding romance between these two characters is beautiful, exciting and brutally realistic. Every encounter they have through the book is filled with passion, something which Giana does exceptionally well with all of the romances she writes. Something the geek in me particularly enjoys is her use of fantasy and mythological tales in her stories. Her characters are often reminiscent and akin to greek gods and goddesses, but this doesn’t make them feel any less real. They all feel so much more special, sexy as sin but as loyal and powerful as the mythical beings that once ruled the world.

‘A king at home in a grocery store parking lot, his throne the worn seat of an enormous Harley’

In many romances I read nowadays, I always find that the heroine is in one of two categories- she’s tough as nails, an independent woman or she’s fragile, needing the protection and adoration of her hero. Cressida is a perfect blend of these, fierce yet vulnerable, strong yet willing to be soft in the arms of her King. She can defend herself when she wants and depend on her man too. She yearns to be adored and loved by a man who takes what he wants and will give her that roughness she’s always desired, to be taken and made to do the most sinful things. She finds that man in King, who is single-handily the most romantic and lyrically spoken hero I’ve ever read. He can be both dirty and swoon-worthy, reciting his own beautiful poetry in his seduction of Cress. He’s family-driven, just like his tough yet loving father Zeus and his fierce yet fun sister Harleigh Rose, who both get their own stories also. When we meet him, he’s young but has the maturity, talent and intelligence of a man twice his age. His seduction of Cress is beautiful, as he pushes her to accept him with his own assertiveness while giving her the freedom to grow and live free after escaping the restrictive clutches of her ex-husband and parents.

‘King was everything I’d dreamed a man should be: a real man built of loyalty, tenacity and verve, who laughed like the world was made just to entertain him and loved like crazy’

If there’s one thing I really love about this book, it’s definitely Cress’s character growth. She goes from being a social recluse, looking down on the world around her to a fun-loving, ready to take on the world babe. She’s still the same nerdy chick, using cute curses like ‘for Pete’s sake’ instead of swearing, but she’s wilder, ready to experience new things with her King at her side and the Garro clan at her back. Giana does this so wonderfully with all her characters, making them feel so realistic and complicated, that you can’t help but be drawn into their stories, feeling the pain and happiness of every moment. The different spoken text by the two characters, though a simple technique, adds so much to their character. Cressida speaks eloquently, tight-lipped in a way at the start of the book, as though the shadow of her old family is still present, but then she’s braver, louder, voicing her opinions and speaking from her true self. King is rough yet smooth even in tone, speaking in long sentences, choppy yet at the same time lyrical and poetic-like. Other characters, like Zeus for example, have this amazing tiny detail, creating even more personality for these characters and I simply adore it. Giana’s writing has quickly become my favourite thing to read, as each new story feels familiar but exciting and new. Though I’ve now ready countless MC romances, this series especially feels so special and memorable to me in particular, because I feel like I experience everything these characters do. As Cressida breaks free of the mental chains her ex-husband and parents restrained her with, we feel the same excitement when she takes her first ride on the back of King’s motorcycle and every moment between them after.

‘It didn’t really feel like me, not the new Cressida who rode on the back of motorcycles, got drunk on weeknights with strangers and let teenage boys feast on her pussy in the middle of her classroom’

And let’s not forget how good this story is steam wise- it gets real hot when reading any of Giana’s books. When you read as much smut and steamy romance as I do, sometimes you can find that sex scenes are lacking or just don’t live up to the building tension author’s have been creating with their characters. With this book though… it’s everything you’ve been waiting for and more! Each encounter is exciting and passionate between King and Cressida, placed beautifully in the story so that it feels exciting and new. What I’ve noticed especially with miss Darling is that her sex scenes never just come randomly. They always add more to the story, either it be by advancing the character’s personality or adding more fire to the burning romance we’re reading through. Each of Giana’s stories feel so well thought out and miraculously detailed that when you start to read her other books you begin to notice all the extra details she’s been hiding that lead on to new romances with her characters and events that were foreshadowed three books ago, that finally accumulate and cause havoc upon release. It’s exhilarating. It’s also genius writing and it’s just one of the reasons I love Giana’s work so much.

‘I’m asking you to risk everything to be my partner, to stand by my side and rule the Fallen men of Entrance, to lie, cheat and steal, to breathe my fucking breath, take my kiss and my cock and rule with me’

With Lessons in Corruption, it feels like I’m being introduced to the whole idea of a motorcycle club once again, especially with one so focused on family and love. Because of this, as you learn each member’s story, you begin to feel like your part of the family yourself and it’s such a lovely, warm feeling to have associated with these books. It feels like coming home when I re-read King and Cressida’s story and each one after. Giana’s beautiful writing and storytelling shine so brightly in this first story, sucking you into the world of The Fallen- I cannot recommend this story highly enough. For both newbies and well-versed readers of MC romances, this story is a stellar example of great characters, storytelling, steaminess and beautiful writing.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟/5

#romance review #book review #books #booknerd #booksofinstagram #romance #mcromance #motorcycleromance #giana darling #fallenmc

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moonlightreal · 4 years

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Winx season 8/17

Now three or four people are reading these, and I am very happy. =)

In which we root for Stormy.

17 Dress Fit for a Queen

So, a Stella episode.

Alfea! And we’re returning to the simulation class from season one! It’s not called the “magical reality chamber” this time around because honestly, that name is a little silly. But here’s Palladium all dapper in his vest and long hair asking the girls if they’re ready for a “special kind of test.”

Bloom is unsure.

Stella is ready for any kind of test… “as long as it’s about makeup or changing clothes.”

But this test is about visualizing your deepest insecurities, exactly what Stella isn’t an expert at. The cute minor fairies look worried.

Stella says she has no insecurities, but it’s Musa who hops up to go first.

So, what are Musa’s insecurities? Riven. Her taste in boys. Her mom obviously. Choosing to do music against her father’s wishes, though now that the girls are successes I assume Ho Boe would’ve calmed down about that.

Good callback, the set is the same—a door, then a bridge into a domed room that projects the simulation.

While Musa’s insecurities play a Palladium voiceover explains that everyone has insecurities—like, “some are afraid of making mistakes” Virtual rocker Musa flubs a chord.

“Some are afraid of being unable to help others.” Virtual Flora can’t revive withered plants.

Some are afraid of losing control over a situation.” Virtual Tecna has built a humanoid robot that she’s controlling with her phone, making it do dance moves. But her phone control stops working and virtual Tec has to flee because it looks like the robot is going to attack her. Also, virtual Tecna is sitting in a lavender diamond shaped hovering chair that you can get in Winx fairy school. The robot bangs the chair on the ground, it’s funny.

Virtual Aisha is climbing a climbing wall and falls. “Some are afraid of losing their nerve.”

Virtual Bloom gets dumped by virtual Sky. “And some are afraid of losing the one they love.” She runs after virtual Sky, very upset. When real Bloom walks out she says the simulation feels so real.

What’s this test about anyway? It seems kinda traumatic! But Stella has no fear, she thinks she’ll have to ‘come up with a tiny little insecurity I can visualize.” Stell, I know it was an alternate you, but your Nemesis slapped you around with your insecurities not that long ago! I love Stella, but she has the self-awareness of a turnip.

Virtual Stella is in her pajamas and encounters three dressed-up courtiers. They titter. She wonders if she’s under-dressed… nah, they must be overdressed! She snaps her fingers and poofs them into pajamas too, welcoming them to her sleepover.

Then her parents come out and shame her. Stella stutters, falling apart a little. Then the simulation ends. Stella walks out looking mad, and says she could’ve fixed things with her parents if she’d only had more time. Her voice sounds sad but she looks pissed off; I wonder what tone of voice the Italian voice actress had.

Palladium just says, “Of course you could have, Stella.” her doesn’t sound sarcastic, or particularly anything. Then he says they’ll have another class tomorrow morning and leaves. I expected something more like “this test was to help you understand yourself not fix problems in the simulation, which isn’t real after all.” but nope. I kinda wonder if Italian Palladium was sarcastic, maybe I’ll look this episode up on RaiPlay.

Back in the Winx common room the girls talk about how down the test left Stella, and how she never really got over her parents’ separation. Flora comments that Stella always cheers other people up, but hides her own problems.

So the timeslide has not rewritten Stella’s parents splitting up—though in US law ‘separated’ is different from ‘divorced’ but I’m not sure a kids’ show would care about that. Probably nothing. Also Stella’s wish in season 5 seems not to have gotten her folks remarried as was wondered. We haven’t heard much from Luna and Radius in a while.

Star case appearance! It speaks! The next star is on Solaria, conveniently. “It’s easy to be seen but to get it you must be wearing the confidence of a queen.” Was that an attempt at poetry?

The girls look worried, not thrilled. But Stella comes in and she is thrilled: that’s her homeworld! Musa wonders what confidence of a queen means, but Stella knows! It just means a dress! And that’s right up her alley! Bloom is unsure. But Stella has her plan: make a dress and wear it! “After all, nobody’s more confidant than I am!”

Valtor is watching. He dispatches the Trix to get the star first. Stormy says a test of confidence will be child’s play for her, and she’s kinda got a point. I’d put Icy with her ��Defeat the Winx once and for all!” every season like clockwork high on the confidence meter.

I have been watching the Trix very closely. This season has a prize in the bottom of the box, and I know mostly what it is so I’m looking for any hint of foreshadowing… so far I have seen not a single hint. I wonder if the prize was added late in the writing of the season like the gang at Rainbow suddenly decided this season needed a little something more, or something. One thing I wish they did was have foreshadowing in the opening sequence—like in anime ops, there will often be a hint, characters with their faces not visible or only shown as a brief flash so you see just enough to suspect…

(see the Umineko game opening for an example.) But this season of Winx the entire op is just clips from the show itself so nothing in the op can sort of contain the whole season’s story… if that makes any sense… yeah, I think Winx ops could be better than they are.

Cut to gorgeous Solaria background. A little bay, the palace, and a… giant building like six times bigger than the palace? Do Solarians live in arcologies instead of normal cities? (spellcheck does not know the word arcology.) there are also some viking style boats in the bay and random crystals spiking out of the water. Very pretty.

The girls on their winxboards fly past the crystals, which are beautifully colored. Stella says her mom can help with dressmaking but her dad can’t even combine colors. Heh. But he’ll be happy about the surprise visit!

Throne room! One throne, two lion statues, the usual drapey above-throne fabrics. Radius sits reading a scroll. He gets up to hug Stella and calls her “Little Star.” Aaaaaw. Then immediately starts a lecture on how busy palace life is and how she should’ve called before visiting.

Stella blows him off, “Fine, fine, we won’t bother you, byeeee!” and leads the somewhat embarrassed Winx out of the throne room. Stella has an idea: her dad seems stressed, he needs a party to cheer him up! Aisha reminds her of their mission and Stella says she can do both. If her friends help. The girls follow, their expressions neutral. I would be having an expression of ‘concerned’ at this point.

Outside the palace Stella walks with her mother while the rest of the Winx wait on a bench. Bloom comments that it’s nice Luna is still living at the royal palace… what IS her status as the king’s ex? Is she a queen? She clearly still rates a royal look and that cool moon crown.

Luna suggests they look for supplies at Muppy village. Whatever that is. Before we can go find out Stella has another idea: a party for her mom too! Bloom wants to talk some sense but before she can get one word out Stella conjures her winxboard and hops on, off to see the muppies!

Bloom doesn’t know what muppies are either.

They seem to live in houses made from mushrooms around the bases of trees, but the front door is size that a person can go in, so those must be big trees. Stella says muppies are great craftsgnomes and they’ll have all the supplies Stella needs for her gown. Musa sensibly asks why the muppies would part with rare supplies but Stella says all she’ll need to do is make them laugh. The rest of the girls look more and more unsure about all this.

The Trix are of course watching from above.

Inside we see many bolts of fabric. Stella sees some bluewhite fabric and decides that’s fit for a queen. It matches her mother’s dress, a nice touch. Then some muppies walk in, they’re short and look about like adult male pixies would, I think. No wings. And way too small for the scale of their shop.

Stella attempts to pay for the fabric with a joke, but it flops. She’s so earnest about it, it’s adorable.

Musa summons soundwaves that make the muppies’ hair and beards spike out. They see each other and burst out laughing. Score! Stella gets her bolt of fabric… and immediately dumps it on aisha to carry while she does some more shopping.

In the next shop Stella finds a spool of gold thread. She starts to tell her joke then rethinks and asks Tecna for help. Tecna conjures a funny robot that rolls around, juggles, then drops the balls on its head. The muppy proprietor laughs. Tecna says , “achievement unlocked” which is becoming slightly annoying as a catchphrase. Stella gets a box of spools of thread… and immediately gives them to Aisha to carry. This’ll end well.

In the next shop they’re coming to buy jewels to put on the dress. This muppy has a big jewel on his hat. Bloom offers to provide the laughs and does a really cool trick with little streams of fire from her fingers. But it’s not actually funny, and the muppy seems worried his shop is going to catch on fire. As Stella tries to reassure him she knocks a bowl of jewels down on her head. Laugh achieved, she wins a bag of jewels… and immediately dumps it on Aisha to carry. Aisha says she should’ve brought a shopping cart.

The girls hop on their winxboards (Aisha’s burdens seem to have vanished) and head back to the palace.

The Trix hop down for their turn.

Darcy: “We don’t have to make these things laugh to get what we need do we?”

Icy: “I’d rather make them cry.”

Stormy: “We’ll let the Winx do all the work for us then take the prime star from them when they least expect it.”

Too bad, it would’ve been fun to see what kind of dress they’d have made.

Back at the palace Stella is working on a dress not unlike the folded-chiffon dresses they wore on Andros in the Sirenix episodes. It’s pale blue/lavender with a skirt that’s short in front and long in back, blue ribbon trim, one shoulder, a wide ribbon choker, and jewels on the bodice. it’s not at all in Stella’s colors and really looks more her mother’s style. I wonder if that’s on purpose, a nod to Stella seeing her her as a true queen.

The other girls bring party stuff: flowers and ribbons, chocolate cake and lemon cake. As you can guess, one parent likes one thing and one parent likes the other. Stella decides they’ll use both decorations and magics the cakes together into a lemon-chocolate cake which is not a flavor combination I have ever heard of. Lemon-cinnamon cake, however, is amazing.

Bloom manages to reroute Stella into trying on the dress.

Nighttime, outside, Stella is wearing the dress and her Solarian crown. The other girls admire her confidence… and a door of light appears!

Cosmix time! Through the door! The Trix follow, because of course they were hanging around.

The girls appear outside a beautiful pearly sphere with another sphere inside it. Inside is the prime star.

Everybody tries to fly in, but only Stella and Stormy can pass through, maybe because they’re the most confident. But when they grab for the prime star they get zapped to…

Stella in her dress meeting the same three courtiers from the simulation. Stella guesses this is a magical test, but at least this time she’s dressed for the setting! She sees her parents and runs to them, asking if they like the party she set up.

But Radius says they have nothing to celebrate: Luna is leaving. Stella can choose who to go with. She looks back and forth between them, unable to choose.

Stormy arrives back at Valtor’s place where he yells at her for being late. Stormy says she can come and go as she pleases and Valtor blasts all three Trix into the walls. Icy and Darcy fall down into the chasm on either side of Valtor’s throne, hanging on by their fingers. Valtor declares he’s powerful enough not to need them anymore. Icy and Darcy yell for help, saying they can’t fly anymore. Stormy does an evil grin that kinda makes me root for her.

Back at the palace Stella watches her parents walk away. She starts crying, saying she doesn’t want to choose.

Stormy gets her badass on! She can still fly, and still do magic, and she throws some at Valtor. “You can’t treat me like that! And you can’t treat my sisters like that! She rescues both Icy and Darcy and declares, ‘Because I’m the most powerful witch in the magic universe!”

Go Stormy!

Back with the prime star, Stormy wins! She gets the star!

Stella realizes, “It didn’t mean a dress, it means the confidence a queen uses to fulfill her duty, no matter how difficult.”

But it’s too late, Stormy’s got the prime star and the Trix escape with it. Stormy also said, “Guess I showed you two!” to her sisters, which did not make Icy a happy camper!

Stella stands defeated.

Stormy presents the prime star to Valtor.

“I knew I could count on you, Stormy. Keep this up and you’ll earn more than compliments. I’m talking about your freedom from my magic bond.”

Stormy gloats. Icy snarls.

Back on Solaria Stella’s wearing her new dress and the other girls are in their dresses from Andros. Party time! Stella worries about the preparations but it’s all perfect.

“No it isn’t! I failed the test! I wasted time on that dress instead of focusing on my confidence!”

Bloom says anyone could’ve made that mistake, and Stella says, ‘Except that I did!” and now the Trix have the star.

Cute moment of Bloom saying they love everything about Stella, the way she’s there for them, not just her confidence, and the Winx get all teary. Stella says she’s lucky to have friends like them, and Bloom says she’s lucky to have family that love her.

Luna comes in and admires Stella’s dress. Stella says her mother was her inspiration, so I guessed that right. Radius loves the chocolate-lemon cake. They tell Stella that she’s their happiness, and there are hugs. Aaw.

#winx club season 8 #winx club

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comprosedreviews-blog · 6 years

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A Court of Wings and Ruin (finally) with Monica

Rating: 4/5 (goodreads)

With a great (new) laptop, comes great responsibility.

And no one knows that better than me. At least after the seven hour, where-did-all-my-files-go-and-why-didn’t-they-transfer-correctly debacle.

SO while I had an almost full review finished for this book, it has gone MIA. Go. Figure.

But that’s Karma’s way of getting back at me for not publishing this a few months ago, you know, when I actually finished reading the book.

But y’all didn’t come here to listen to me complain, you came for a book review, so without further RAWRS and GRRs, here’s the review:

You should read the book.

Yes I know, you’re probably sitting there glued to your screens, mouth agape because somehow, after loving the first two books of this beloved series I also managed to love and recommend the third. GOOD GRACIOUS MONICA!!! YOU’RE CRAZY!!!

In all seriousness, the book did fall a little bit behind the first and second in the list of favorites for me, but still managed to keep me coming back for more page turns and laughter and fear.

Before writing any further, I want to warn those of you who stumbled upon this review thinking that ACOWAR was the first in a series from reading the rest of this post. You see, young ones, if you continue to read you will be spoiled for the first two books... because well, this is the third and final in its little trilogy.

So turn away, avert your eyes, and direct your feet to the nearest Barnes & Nobles (or wherever you satisfy your book reading needs) and purchase A Court of Thorns and Roses. You won’t be sorry.

THE BRIEF NON-SPOILERY: I can confirm that there are areas of overwriting in this finale. In fact, much of the beginning dragged on or felt unnecessary, to the point where 100 pages or so in, I finally felt like we began the story. The beginning is important for foundational stuff about new characters, old characters and new threat lines, however. It probably could have just been done with far fewer words and scenes.

I also think that there are several areas that just lagged. I could easily put the book down in those moments and do something else... which for me isn’t a great reading experience. And before you wave your fists and say BUT MONICA, books can’t be all power and action and romance all the time, know that I understand that. I mean, I read a lot and love books a lot, but this was an excessive amount of hmmmmmmm don’t need to be reading this right now. I want to be fully pulled in, I want something to make me think I CAN PUSH THROUGH THIS SECTION TO FIND X OUT... but there were whole chapters where I was like... whelp. Nothing interesting happened.

THAT BEING SAID, other moments in the book were done spectacularly and kept me immersed in the world even when I had to put the book down. I was like... No. Nope. Okay Mr. Reporting-Professor, you can talk all you want about the inverted pyramid, but understand that all I’m hearing is fanfic poetry about the love between Rhysand and Feyre.

You get all the characters you love back and all the resolutions you could ask for, which is why lovers of the series must finish it. Don’t let yourself feel the unresolved feeling of ending on ACOMAF (because we all know that ending left us SHOOK).

That’s all I can offer for you folks out there who haven’t finished ACOWAR. I hope these words of wisdom have helped you settle on the right decision of reading the book for yourself. If it didn’t, well, sorry. I’m a mere hufflepuff.

WARNING!! SPOILERS!!! AHEAD!!!

You know, I really enjoyed this book, I swear I did, but as I’m thinking back on it, the things I remember best are the things that annoyed me. Like the father’s convenient return right as the battle was being lost, the constant magic draining, the convenient return of Rhysands angel looking friends, and all the character death bluffs. So for the interest of ending this review on a positive note (because, wtf my brain, we love this book??) I’m going to talk about these things and then swing into the good.

1. WHATS WITH ALL THE CONVENIENCE?

Did we just get written into too tough of a plot to get out of? No, I don’t think we did. Why? Because Sarah J. Mass is brilliant. I’m sorry, but did you see all the foreshadowing with the mirror? Or the awesome trials in the first book? Or the link between the stars of Feyre’s drawer and Rhysand??? This girl can write the tough writes.

But this ending was riddled with oddly convenient and seemingly unnecessary helps. The island with the Seraphine and the wards that worked a little too well... like why didn’t Rhysand and friends check super hard? Why didn’t they shout a bunch. WHY DIDNT THEY REALIZE, oh yeah, we protect our sacred city with a bunch of wards too... Why didn’t the angel beings think to look outside of their wards ever? And how come they were able to get notice of the battle at all? Like... HMM, yeah we couldn’t really reach you BUTTTTTTTTT now we’re here because we found out about it?? No. I need a better explanation.

And maybe there is one to come. Maybe the second series will shine some light on the topic, but if that’s the case then writing that entrance for these guys was a super risky move because--I’m just going to say it--it came across as a Deux ex machina (which are endings I frankly hate).

GAHHHH and the whole book we were like

Reader: Oh no!!!!! Azriel is going to die! His wings are shredding, he went on a kill mission, he’s the misplaced love angle...I knew he shouldn’t have gone with them! I knew it!!! I knew it!! This is Sarah offing him isn’t it--

Feyre: actually we got him back in time so it’s all peas and--

Reader: OMG YOU ONLY GOT HIM TO SURVIVE BECAUSE TAMLIN IS DEAD NOW AND HE HAS SACRIFICED HIMSELF JUST AS HE REDEEMED WHATEVER TERRIBLE DARKNESS HE WAS BATHED IN AS A SMA--

Tamlin: Actually, no. No. I come back in the end. They kept me alive. I’m good.

Reader: HOLY MUFFIN GUACAMOLE YOU DISTRACTED ME SO THAT I WOULDN’T SEE CASSI--oh actually cass is fine wow. Good job Ness--OMG NESSA AND CASSIAN ARE GOING TO DIE AHHHHH

Elain: NOT. In. My. House!

Reader: Oh dang. Nice slashy slash. Wait so everyone-- OMG ARMEN NOOOOOOOO

Ocean: psht. She’s fine. I’ll spit her out as a high fey, no worries

Reader: Oh. Oh. Okay, wow. That’s um, good then?

Cauldron: *Gargles*

Reader: *Sobbing hysterically* RHYSAND!!!!!!!!! Actually, he’ll be fine too probably... yep. Okay.

It got to the point where I was like, well there’s no real need to worry because any character I actually give an emotional teardrop about is protected by all the force of the pen forever. So. Yeah.

I mean, I’m not complaining that all my characters made it out unscathed, just that they made it out and each and every one of them had their life thissssssss close to being torn away... and somehow I’m still expected to buy Rhysand’s near death at the end as our final hurdle to overcome. Which. I didn’t.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THE BAD, let’s talk about the good.

The very beginning had me so upset. But in a good way. When it wasn’t going on too long we got to see a darker side of Feyre, the side that decided to kill a fairy for revenge, the side that isn’t afraid to ruin lives if it means saving the people she cares about.

AND I HAVE TO SAY I HATED IT AND LOVED THAT I HATED IT.

Like, I do not like Tamlin. I will never like Tamlin, there is no redeeming Tamlin. But, still, as Feyre began to turn his armies against him and used Lucien (who I do like!) to tear a rift in the spring court I felt the feels. Like... no. This isn’t how we do things.

But. It. Is.

Feyre don’t mess around.

When the bond between Rhysand and Feyre started to go quiet I was SOOOOO worried that Tamlin had secretly discovered a way to shut it down and was working with Ianthe that I just... I was like STOP WORRYING ABOUT DESTROYING SPRING AND START FOCUSSING ON THIS CLEARLY WRONG THING!!!!! But it wasn’t that.

No. No, it was her magic, being drained from her.

And for someone with SO MUCH MAGIC in the book before, I was so taken aback by how many times her powers were literally drained from her.

Was anyone else impatiently waiting for more Feysand? Because I was. I wanted it sooooo badly. Maybe that’s the real reason everything dragged. Maybe I just needed them to be together again, especially because she was now lady of the night court and I wanted to see some night court shenanigans with the gang.

Good times. That would have been good times.

But I had to wait. And when we did get there

STUFF//WAS//FALLING//APART

I’m sorry, what do you mean Elain is miserable???? And mad???

I’m sorry, what do you mean Lucien is coming with??? (because I might like him but yeesh, I was annoyed with his “how could you betray me” thing).

I’m sorry, what do you mean IN GENERAL????

Can’t we just like... Idk, ignore our wounds from the other book? CASS got to! His wings grew back//were healed. We should all be like Cass!

For real though, when everyone was talking about how Elain had gone crazy I was sitting here thinking... *raises hands* um maybe she’s like... seeing the future? Did we think about that guys?? But nooooooo. Everyone was all pity filled and I was all :(((((((((((

My greatest regret is we never got the resolution of Cass and Nessa. I want them together and I want it yesterday!

I felt like we were there. We were so close. They almost died together and Cass and Nessa BASICALLY SAID THEY LOVED EACH OTHER and then...

poof. Same old same old rawr.

And then are Elain and Azriel going to be a thing??? I don’t know if I want that or don’t want that???? Are Lucien and bird princess going to be a thing???? Who is a thing, who isn’t a thing, why???????

Like, last book I was here for Lucien and Elain. I mean I figured they’d have to like, get to know each other, fall in love, etc. but I’m a sucker for a falling in love story// enemies to lovers sub-arch.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Now I can’t even bring myself to root for that. They are just wrong for each other. And I don’t like it. I don’t like that our thing that set up our two main characters can be so imperfect. Rawr, I just want resolution!!!!!!

And did everyone catch that Lucien isn’t related to the monster that was previously believed to be his father??? WHO’S GOING TO EXPLAIN TO DADDY HELION THAT HE IS A FATHER???? WHY DIDN’T THAT HAPPEN IN THIS BOOK???

I’m sorry but all signs for me point to the next series following Elain, Lucien, and Bird princess lady// whatever horrible deal she made to be able to come and fight. I’m not against that. I do want to know more about why the cauldron gave Elain so much power, and how her ex-fiance is feeling now, and how her prophesies/// Azriel thing/// Lucien thing is going to pan out !!!BUT!!!! But here I am wanting to know what happened to giant nightmare cloud, wanting to see baby Feysand, wanting to have Mor find love, wanting to know more about Nessa’s link with the cauldron...

ARE WE SURROUNDED BY I NEED TO KNOWS RIGHT NOW OR WHAT???

*sigh* when is Sarah going to release the next series beginner? I need it. Otherwise, I might combust. And I need these answers. Not in this order but... like in the next book please?? Please???? PLEASE????

So this review turned more into a mindless ramble of happenings and wants than anything else. If you feel I left things out (which I most certainly did thanks to writing this months and months after reading smh) please comment below! I’d love to hear what Y’all think// what y’all want from the next book.

And gosh if you read this far, you’re a saint.

Until next post,

Monica

#ACOWAR #sarah j maas #acotar #acomaf #feyre archeron #Feysand #booklr #book #books #bookreview #comPROSEdbookreviews

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a-weird-blog-in-general · 6 years

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ITH Medieval AU

Hey @pika-ace remember how you told me OH so long ago about this idea? Medieval times, right? Well, consider this my gift to you, b/c I love you and you deserve the best so I kind of went wild with this one.

OK see here's what I did; considering that there's the Fantasy AU very heavily based on magic/and the supernatural, I figured that a more historically based AU would be interesting for a Medieval one. So, with a bit of dabbling in research, let's say the time period is centred more so around the 1300's, in that space between the High and Late Middle Ages. Now, for the sake of the AU, some historical events are rushed or just happen at a different time than historically recorded; it's just to selfishly move the plot along b/c oh boy shit happened. Do note that the actual historical events don't HAVE TO be the real ones. Like at some point I bring up the Hundred Years War; it doesn't have to be the Hundred Years War. And as much as I've tried, there's sure to be historical misinterpretations on my part, and I ask you to forgive me if that is the case as you read on Setting: Vaguely European? A great deal of this AU is based on the European Middle Ages, and the historical events mainly surround Europe, but like I never explicitly state any locations so....? It's up to you if you want to leave it all vague or not. Also catch me with that symbolism yo. (Seriously if you want to ask me questions about places, details I included, things that happen; there's probably a symbolic reason behind it or a parallel somewhere)

Vanessa

Peasant turned knight

Came from a small farming family, part of a larger community owned by an ageing Lord

Father was a knighted commoner => taught Vanessa how to properly use a sword and told her stories of brave knights who fought off hordes of foes => gets sent off as part of a militia against another Lord and dies in combat

The conquest of the manor and the Great Famine of 1315-17 forces them off the land and move into another manor => that's when Vanessa meets Nina

Vanessa's mother, struck by grief at the loss of her husband and of their one mode of income

Vanessa, fueled by spite and anger, tired of being reduced to meagre peasantry jobs, decides she's going to work for knighthood

She and Nina are probably 12-13 at this point => Nina sees Vanessa from the church doors playing with some boys and she's curious => at some point they run into each other in front of a statue of St. Michael (foreshadowing if ya squint) and they talk, Vanessa reveals that she's trying to be a knight, and Nina wants to help her

Nina cuts Vanessa's hair (not too short now but just enough b/c she can't wear her own armour yet) and she teaches Vanessa how to read and write, and they both spy on boys to copy their mannerisms

Vanessa manages to get the attention of an old knight who's interested in seeing this youngster grow (he's probably going to be an original character) => he knows Vanessa's a girl in disguise but he doesn't mind all that much really; she can fight and she's got guts and that's all that matters => he teaches her huntsman/military stuff, and makes her his Squire

It's when she becomes his apprentice/Squire where she starts wearing armour, esp. the closed helmet to hide her face.

As a Squire she has to master the "Seven Points of Agilities" (riding, swimming, wrestling, fencing, stuff like that ALL WHILE WEARING ARMOUR) => Vanessa gets buff af

She gets knighted at 19 (the actual age is around 21 but a Squire can be knighted earlier)

She establishes herself and reputation in a jousting tournament (the thing with the horses and the lances and you gotta knock the other knight off) => See here's the thing about tournaments; knights can get injured and/or die in these things => her mentor is probably injured during a melee (it's like a free for all where the last knight standing wins) and she takes his place during the joust and wins => eventually she may earn herself a place in the Lord's Court (opportunity to get further acquainted w/ Benny who's also a knight)

(I LOVE the idea of Vanessa saving Usnavi so!) => First time she meets Usnavi she saves him from rowdy riff-raff who where threatening w/ violence and she makes it a thing to visit and protect him from trouble and potential accidents (you'll see why), extends to keeping Sonny out of trouble => in return Usnavi offers "the mysterious knight" food and a bed if she ever needs it

She ends up taking in Sonny as her Squire (he got into some serious trouble with the authorities; the church or the Lordship, one or the other or both, Pete was involved)

Nina and the Rosarios

Family of metalworkers; Kevin's a blacksmith and Camilla fashions/repairs jewellery

Nina's in training to enter the clergy => both Kevin and Camilla know it'll elevate Nina's social status and the Catholic schooling will give her something of an education => the hope is that Nina one day will be the church Abbess (kind of like Head Nun, the "Mother" if you will)

They made Nina a simple rosary with a little gold cross as the pendant; she wears it on her wrist all the time

She's so modest and humble, not just b/c of the religious teachings but also b/c she's grown surrounded by people who respect her mind but know she'll never actually become anything b/c she's female

Nina wants to be more so involved with the political happenings

Student of Scholasticism (it's basically trying to apply reason/logic to faith by holding arguments over contradictory things) => she's not very sure how she feels about it; faith and logic, try all you want, never really come together in a way that pleases everyone and the teacher's authority is always seen as superior regardless; but the practice promotes questioning and critical reasoning

Learns medicine and offers aid to knights => how she meets Benny => he gets scratched up confronting another group of knights, trying to impress Pete; Nina's the nun who happens to answer the door

Time period is characterized by persecution and expulsion of religious minorities (the inquisition/Crusades anyone) => Nina's their voice to the Catholic Church, promoting acceptance and change (this girl is going to change the world) => eventually w/ the emergence of several religious/scholar factions, plus a greater awareness of the history of the Catholic church's actions, (I feel that) Nina would want to break away from the church

She's got a lot of conflict with Faith, ethics, and the Church

Benny

Full-fledged knight w/ Pete as his Squire

Actually of Noble blood but he wasn't firstborn so he doesn't inherit much, barely anything so he had to make a name for himself

Went through the whole Page to Squire to Knight process

Claims Pete as his cousin so he could be taken as Benny's Squire

He's a member of the Lord's Court => when he and Nina have a solid friendship he tells her about the happenings and she offers advice => he's like her mechanism to access the court

He's impressed and eventually infatuated with her intelligence and wit and he believes she deserves the world but she's so modest

Benny's father was part of the Inquisition against the Beguine (female Catholic extremists characterized by self-mortification of skin by whipping, nasty stuff)

Benny's kind of in support of some of the Inquisitions (HEAR ME OUT FOR A SEC) => the Inquisitions were formed to have some kind of system to investigate cases of supposed heresy b/c the public would straight up kill people they thought were heretics. Some REAL fucked up stuff happened, and we're not justifying the actions here.

As for Benny's reasons: 1) His dad was in it and Benny was like 13 what kid doesn't admire a dad they see as a hero and 2) He understands that the point is to prevent injustice and unjust persecution, and he holds it to that ideal; Nina's perception is based more so on the Crusades, which she personally didn't approve of => potential conflict when they have that conversation

Eventually, he's called to serve in the Hundred Years War or what will be the Hundred Years War (or whatever your personal variation may be)

Has a preference for the Rosario family and highkey it's apparent that he's made himself their personal protector => lowkey it's to get on Kevin's good side b/c he's not so happy that Nina's hanging around so many knights, so if Benny manages to impress him he'll (hopefully?) be a bit more accepting of Nina hanging around Benny

Probably took an arrow to his arm once b/c split-second decision he used his arm as a shield and he tried to walk it off => that earned him a smack from Abuela Claudia

The relationship between Nina and Benny is very much based on chivalry and courting => Benny's a poetic type (coughcough their duets coughcough), but he doesn't have that artistic touch => Pete's basically his wingman even if Benny denies it, and they both argue over lines (case Benny writes poetry for Nina let me have this plz) d what sounds better; where Benny excels in language and describing the literal with flowery words, Pete's good at imagery and metaphors => Nina saves every single one

•Usnavi

Candlemaker (HEAR ME OUT) => "I illuminate the stories of the people on the street" sound familiar? => This is entirely selfish I just wanted to pull Usnavi away from the "grocer" role and give him a role with a bit more symbolic significance

He makes the best candles b/c they don't smell that bad (candles were typically made of tallow which is like animal fat and smelled nasty when burned) => I imagine it's a mixture of beeswax and kitchen fats and the wicks are threaded with materials like cinnamon (which would have been expensive so only a little bit) so they give off a better smell than burning fat => typically made for the church and they don't pay that much

Also makes wax figurines => typical stuff like figures of saints and animals but he's got a collection of figurines of people he knows (Sonny, the Rosario's, Abuela Claudia; he can never get the mysterious knight to look right)

When he was being threatened and Vanessa saved him, the rabble was going to throw hot wax in his face; Vanessa blocked it with her shield like a badass

He vaguely knows the mysterious knight by reputation alone but now he has the chance to actually know them personally and how? Can he possibly??? Repay them?? => every time the knight visits he tries to hide the tallow smell and makes them a meal, and learns that they like the smell of cinnamon so he gifts them one of his cinnamon candles

Trying to teach Sonny how to carry on the business; o/c Sonny doesn't want to => Sonny makes the candle too big and uses too much wick so the flame comes out huge and the burning candle makes a huge wax mess

When Sonny gets in trouble Usnavi reluctantly has to allow Sonny to be Vanessa's Squire; he sees it as the mysterious knight so he believes Sonny's in good hands

Meets Vanessa as herself thanks to Sonny => Sonny knows Vanessa's catching feelings and Usnavi's very interested in the mysterious knight that is Vanessa, so if Usnavi meets Vanessa and realizes that they have the same character, he'll put two and two together and see that they're the same person (except Usnavi's real fucking dense about it)

Sonny

Frisky little boy who becomes Vanessa's Squire

Wants to be a knight but Usnavi doesn't want him to and in theory, it shouldn't be possible b/c they're not nobles or rich or anything

Pete tells him stories about travels with Benny and Sonny's jealous™

Accidentally gets caught up in a problem between a noble and Usnavi => Sonny punched the noble in the face b/c they made a snide comment about the smell; Pete helped => the noble was a relative of the Lord and they're threatening to punish both Sonny and Pete; Pete gets out of it b/c Benny pops up and talks him out of it; Vanessa comes in with the whole "he's my Squire" but noble's not going to take that excuse so they demand proof from the Lord himself => Sonny insists that the only solution is to let him be Vanessa's Squire and Usnavi goes through w/ it; it's that or a public flogging so....

He's a troublemaker; he's brash and charges into conflict just to protect someone => Vanessa tries to teach him that he doesn't have to punch everyone in the face to demand attention and solve a problem

Sonny and Pete complain to each other about trying to get their respective lovebirds together

Crafty with mechanisms; he and Pete mess around with random things and make tiny catapults that break after one use but it's fun

Probably broke his sword twice; first time it was funny, the second time it was serious™

Writes poems for Nina; it's more so out of emotional attachment => they're not as eloquent as Benny's but they're sweet and Nina saves her favourites

Abuela Claudia

Your local herbologist who practices apothecary

Lives next door to Usnavi and Sonny (or as close to next door as you can get; more like reasonable walking distance) => supplies Usnavi with the herbs to weave into the candles

Has wisdom and knowledge beyond her years => she's seen war, the rise and fall of monarchies and empires; she's seen stuff => wise elder™ tbh how has she lived so long

Literally, the only one everyone trusts as a midwife

She's got this unchallenged respect where it's like she'll make you food and tell you stories but you don't cross her. You just don't

Has a collection of odd trinkets stored away, the most impressive and beautiful being a little crown of feathers, collected from birds that hang on her roof => she ends up giving it to Vanessa

Some say she's just a smart old woman, other's claim she's a witch => she is persecuted at some point and accused

She passes away peacefully in her sleep one day => the accusations are still strong with the public and so they burn her body

Pete

Squire with an affinity for art

Very crafty with his hands, can work out fine details

Was hired to make the small stone figurines of the Saints for the church => realized stonework wasn't for him

Was caught stealing pigments for paints and the shop owner turned him in to Benny => they were going to cut off his hands, Benny intervenes and makes up a lie about Pete being his cousin and he's let off the hook => Pete doesn't want that to happen again and through conversation he learns Pete doesn't have anyone watching out for him and he's kind of just fending for himself, so Benny offers to take him in as his Squire

At first Pete didn't want to => too restricting and he doesn't see himself as a "knight/hero" type of character => Sonny convinces him to accept for two reasons: 1) it'll be cool and awesome and he'll go on adventures and do awesome knight things and 2) He'll be able to tell Sonny all about it and (maybe?) put in a good word with someone to let him be a knight

Pete and Benny got that teasing sibling relationship going on; most of the times they go to see Nina and/or Abuela Claudia it's b/c they were showing off and did something stupid

Daniela and Carla

Innkeepers who don't take shit from anyone

Daniela's widowed, which allows her to own the albeit small property

Carla owes a debt to Daniela, and that's why she's employed; no one knows what the debt is, and no one wants to really know

All secrets and dirty details are shared in those walls => good stories and very good gossip

Vanessa worked there for a while => Daniela and Carla assume she's working somewhere else b/c they don't see her around much

No one messes with either of them or any of the employees => anyone tries to get a little too close to comfort, they'll be out back in the middle of the night barfing up their insides

Notorious reputation

Now the plot... where is it? Y'all can branch it off in whatever direction you'd like, but if I was to go on about my idea, we'd be here for a while and it'd read more like a literature essay b/c I got symbolism and parallels stuck up in my head. But this is a good start, I believe. Delving into it might take a bit more time.

#In The Heights #in the heights au #medieval au #this is your gift pika!#it's very late i know #but i hope you like it!

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fictionadventurer · 7 years

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Father Brown Reread: The Invisible Man

In the cool blue twilight of two steep streets in Camden Town, the shop at the corner, a confectioner’s, glowed like the butt of a cigar.

There are no colorless skies in Chesterton’s world. Never just twilight--it’s blue twilight.

Nowadays, you’d never see “butt of a cigar” used as a positive comparison.

Chesterton really loves London. I’m reasonably well-versed in English authors of this time period, and I can’t think of any who go into so much detail about the neighborhoods of London.

He was a tall, burly, red-haired young man, with a resolute face but a listless manner. He carried under his arm a flat, grey portfolio of black-and-white sketches, which he had sold with more or less success to publishers ever since his uncle (who was an admiral) had disinherited him for Socialism, because of a lecture which he had delivered against that economic theory.

This guy ticks a lot of boxes on the Chesterton Romantic Hero list. Red-haired, artist, involved in publishing, has Opinions about Socialism. (It’s the second story in a row involving a Young Socialist in Love).

His name was John Turnbull Angus.

And he almost deserved it.

(Not a commentary on his character. I just can’t resist the reference.)

“...I mean, what is all that?” “A ceremonial meal, Miss Hope.” “And what is that?” she asked impatiently, pointing to the mountain of sugar. “The wedding-cake, Mrs. Angus,” he said.

Smooth, John Turnbull Angus.

No one writes engagement scenes like Chesterton does. I’ve been grinning like a lunatic through this whole scene. This rivals Michael Moon’s proposal to Rosamund.

“But after all, these freaks were my friends in a way; and I had a horror of their thinking I refused them for the real reason, which was that they were so impossibly ugly. So I made up some gas of another sort, about never meaning to marry anyone who hadn’t carved his way in the world. [...] The first thing I heard was that both of them had gone off to seek their fortunes, as if they were in some silly fairy tale.

I’m both slightly shocked and impressed by Laura. She admits that she’s shallow, but she’s horrified to think that anyone would think she’s shallow. Intriguing little paradox. At least she’s self-aware.

To be fair to her, I think she refused them for more than their looks. If these guys have nothing better to do than hang out in the bar all day, I don’t think they’re great husband material.

And once again, a Father Brown story has become a fairy tale. We’ve had fairy tale elements in all of the stories so far.

You know the sort of thing: ‘Press a Button--A Butler who Never Drinks.’ ‘Turn a Handle--Ten Housemaids who Never Flirt.’

A fascinating look at a societal structure that’s very foreign to us today. It smacks of horrific classism--they rely on humans to do their work for them, but view them as vulgar, immoral, low-class people who are much better replaced by machines.

“Well, my dear,” said the young man, cheerfully, “if he were Satan himself, he is done for now you have told somebody. One goes mad all alone, old girl.”

This seems like good general life advice.

“Yes. Just when I had finished reading the second letter from Isidore Smythe announcing his success, just then, I heard Welkin say, ‘He shan’t have you, though.’ It was quite plain, as if he were in the room. It is awful. I think I must be mad.”

Shades of The Phantom of the Opera. I remained surprised by the heavy Gothic influences in the Father Brown stories.

“...I know an extremely clever fellow, who has set up in business five minutes from here in your car. His name’s Flambeau, and though his youth was a bit stormy, he’s strictly an honest man now, and his brains are worth money. He lives in Lucknow Mansions, Hampstead.”

Flambeau’s still using his criminal alias? That doesn’t seem like a smart plan for a reformed man who wants to live in peace.

His youth was ‘a bit stormy’? That’s a bit of an understatement, after several stories discussing his audacious crimes and legendary international status.

Also, is he living off of the profits of his crimes? He’s living around the corner from a millionaire. I can’t imagine that the detective business pays that well.

“I use them in my own flat,” said the little black-bearded man, laughing, “partly for advertisements, and partly for real convenience. Honestly, and all above board, those big clockwork dolls of mine do bring your coals or claret or a timetable quicker than any live servants I’ve ever known, if you know which knob to press.”

This story takes place in a weird steampunk version of London. As far as I know, real-life automatons never had practical purposes.

But of course, with Chesterton, even the sci-fi-like elements are only important for how they comment upon human nature. The automatons serve as the story’s important thematic symbol.

These were the only human shapes in that high suburban solitude; but he had an irrational sense that they expressed the speechless poetry of London. He felt as if they were figures in a story.

Fourth wall: shattered.

They had two great hooks like arms, for carrying trays; and they were painted pea-green, or vermilion, or black for convenience of distinction; in every other way they were only automatic machines and nobody would have looked twice at them. On this occasion, at least, nobody did.

Foreshadowing for the ending.

These servants are stripped of their humanity, mindless machines placed in the house to complete preset tasks. Their colors--like uniforms--are bright, but only serve as markers of their function.

Mr. Flambeau’s semi-official flat was on the ground floor, and presented in every way a marked contrast to the American machinery and cold hotel-like luxury of the flat of the Silent Service. Flambeau, who was a friend of Angus, received him in a rococo artistic den behind his office, of which the ornaments were sabres, harquebuses, Eastern curiosities, flasks of Italian wine, savage cooking-pots, a plumy Persian cat, and a small dusty-looking Roman Catholic priest, who looked particularly out of place.

This is exactly the sort of apartment that I’d expect Flambeau to have.

I LOVE how Father Brown is described as if he’s one of Flambeau’s decorations. Flambeau’s precisely the sort of person who’d hang out with a priest for the Aesthetic. Of course, it’s not the only reason, but I think he finds it a gratifying bonus.

“Yes, I think it will keep clear,” said Angus, sitting down on a violet-striped Eastern ottoman. “No,” said the priest quietly, “it has begun to snow.”

Already, Father Brown is showing that he’s more than just a piece of background scenery. We can’t even get through the small talk without him proving someone wrong.

“Father,” said Flambeau, after a pause, “upon my soul I believe it is more in your department than mine. No friend or foe has entered the house, but Smythe is gone, as if stolen by fairies. If that is not supernatural, I--”

Really, Flambeau? How did you make it as a detective? Five minutes of investigation and you already jump to a supernatural conclusion? You can’t think of any other explanation? Maybe someone climbed up to a window or something? Seriously. Put a little thought into it.

When those four quite honest men said that no man had gone into the Mansions, they did not really mean that no man had gone into them. They meant no man whom they could suspect of being your man. A man did go into the house, and did come out of it, but they never noticed him.”

See, Flambeau, these are the types of things you should be considering.

This theory is true enough. But once they noticed the footprints and started discussing the “Invisible Man”, wouldn’t someone have mentioned, “Oh, yeah, the postman walked up to the house”?

Then again, if they ignored the postman while he was there, they probably forgot all about him after he left, so the footprints would still be puzzling.

“Nobody ever notices postmen somehow,” he said thoughtfully; “yet they have passions like other men, and even carry large bags where a small corpse can be stowed quite easily.

And here’s where the themes of the story come together. It’s a commentary on class.

We have Smythe with his mechanical servants that replace living, breathing people with machines--literally dehumanizing the work that they do.

And then there’s the postman--completely invisible and stripped of his humanity, so long as he’s running on his track and completing his assigned task.

But the postman's humanity drives him to torment a woman and murder a man, and his working class role makes them overlook him as no more than a machine who couldn’t possibly do anything outside his assigned task.

But Father Brown walked those snow-covered hills under the stars for many hours with a murderer, and what they said to each other will never be known.

I have chills.

Rather than giving us the expected ending--handing the murderer over to the police and securing justice--the mystery story ends with another mystery.

This is what I love about Father Brown--he doesn’t dehumanize anyone, not even murderers. Even murderers have souls, and they need saving.

#father brown reread #father brown #the invisible man #the innocence of father brown #flambeau

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boygeniussy · 7 years

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Do you have any tips on writing a multi-chaptered fic? I love your work and I really want to work to the point where I can do great multi-chaptered fics, but all I can do is write subpar 1000-2000 word one-shots. Any advice? I absolutely ADORE your work by the way.

OH OH MY GOSH, THANK YOU, SWEET BABY. You’re all making my little weeb heart soar tonight.

Okay, so I’ve been writing most my life, and was part of many MANY embarrassing RPs in my formative years, but I’ve just really cracked the surface of fic writing! I’ve only been here for a month or so, really, and Church of the Poison Mind has been an absolute labor of love. I’ve learned a lot from asking other writers, and I can’t thank these lovely people enough for all that they have done for me. Here are just a few things I keep in mind:

1. READ MORE. Reading will make you a better writer. Read anything and everything, and not just fic, books, real books! We can learn so much about life, characterization, grammar, poetry, imagery, etc. from the content we source from books. When I find myself unable to write, I like to turn on some spoken word poetry, or read a book for a few minutes, it really helps to get my mind into the swing of it!

2. PLAN. @katyaapetrovna will tell you this until she’s blue in the face. A good multi-chapter fic comes with a good plan, that way you can add in so many literary elements like foreshadowing, and continuity! Planning doesn’t always work for everyone, but I find it a lot easier to pound out a chapter when I know all of the details. Additionally, if you find yourself unable to map out specific details, a good outline works too! Just a basic skeleton for how you want the fic to proceed.

3. BUFFER. Leave yourself a buffer before you post the first chapter! We all know that feedback for our fics feels amazing, and we’re eager to post right away, but having a few chapters behind you before you post can really help you out when you’re struggling to write. It also allows you to put out the best content you possibly can without feeling pressured or rushed. Already posting chapter 3 and you just noticed 4 typos in chapter 1? Want to add foreshadowing to chapter 1 now that you’ve moved farther along in the plot? You can’t fix those things if your fic is already posted.

4. GET INVOLVED. If you read a fic, let that author know how you felt about it! Put out into the world what you would like to receive. Pretty soon you’ll be making connections, and you’ll have a whole bushel of fic writer friends by your side, and ready to help. I literally would not have started/continued writing CotPM without @katyaapetrovna and @sashaseyebrows .

5. DON’T STRESS. Fic writing is hard, so so difficult, especially when you have writer’s block or a busy schedule. Don’t pressure yourself, don’t self sabotage, be kind. This is supposed to be fun, this is something you’re doing for fun, please remember that.

Happy fic writing little lovely doves!! Don’t be afraid to reach out to me, anon or not, if you need anything at all! I’m always here to help!

#ask

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babygirl06301 · 7 years

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Spike Analysis - “Lover’s Walk”

“Lover’s Walk,” bitches! Of the Spike-centric episodes we’ve had in the past, I wouldn’t say that this episode is the absolute, hands-down, best…but it’s pretty fucking good. Let’s start this by acknowledging that Spike is hella cute throughout this entire thing. Did you do that? Good.

So, we’ve got Spike. We’ve got Buffy. We’ve got Angel. We’ve got marshmallows and holy water grenades. I’m gonna be honest here, I don’t really know where to start with Spike’s development in this episode. I’m not going to go through it scene by scene necessarily, but I’ll try and keep you up to date with what scene I’m thinking of when I’m talking about one thing or the other.

Alright. Last we heard, Spike and Dru had left town after the whole Angelus thing. Spike said he’d never come back. Well, that didn’t fucking happen, did it? Please notice that in this episode, he said again that he wouldn’t come back to Sunnydale. Spike’s always been a shit liar, ya know? Dru’s broken up with him because he’s too soft (which…did she see him when she sired him? Sensitive as fuck, that one. Cute as hell, but still). Therefore, Spike’s back in Sunnydale. He knocks over the sign, which seems to become a recurring theme for him, and he’s drunk as shit. Of course, later in Angel, he mentions that it isn’t so easy for vampires to get drunk, so he must have been smashed. Which is, apparently, the only kind of “smashed” he’s been able to get since Dru left him.

I mentioned in the “Becoming: Part 2” analysis, and will continue to mention it numerous more times, but seeing Spike not be William the Bloody is always great. I much prefer Spike the Sensitive over Spike: Guy Who Killed Two Slayers. But this episode is like…bad. You know what I mean? Like, he’s very distraught over Dru and it’s kind of strange. Not in a bad way because I’d rather him weep and throw dolls than brood (sorry, Angelcakes).

Sidebar: that scene were Spike passes out in the outdoor area at Angel’s mansion and his hand catches on fire in the morning? Did you guys know that James did that stunt himself, but like, you’re supposed to put it out within two seconds because the protective layer (that keeps your hand from actually catching fire) will wear off? But James thought it’d be funny to let it go a bit longer, so he burnt the literal shit out of his hand, but he hid it from everyone because it was his last shot and he was afraid that, if they ever asked him back again, they wouldn’t let him do his own stunts anymore?

Anyway. So then Spike kills the shopkeeper and kidnaps Willow and Xander so Willow can do the love spell for him. That scene in the factory where Spike sort of confides in Willow is the best shit ever. Jumping a little forward here, one of the key components of Spike’s character development in this episode is that he’s interacting (again) with Buffy, but also with Willow and Angel. And by interacting, I mean that he’s not trying to kill them. Spike hadn’t really interacted with Angel in a semi-positive way before this episode. It was typically with Angelus, and otherwise, his contact with Angel was violent. I know he did threaten to kill Willow a few times, but I think his focus was more on Dru than anything else at that point. Although, I don’t think he didn’t kill anyone because “I want Dru back,” I think he didn’t kill anyone because “…nah.”

Back to Willow. Spike talking to her about Dru and how much she hurt him is ***super cute!!!*** But beyond that, Spike basically said that he’d rather die than not be with Dru. Die. Again, like I said in the previous post, Spike’s character is drenched in paradox, but a vampire’s whole goal (on a basic level) is to survive. So? But all that makes sense within the realm of his character because Dru was his first relationship. Isn’t that strange to think about? Not his first love, but his first requited love. I’m sure we all have some semblance of an idea of how people usually react when their first relationships end. Let’s keep going because, aside from being adorable, that scene doesn’t speak a whole lot to his development.

I have conflicting feelings about the situation with Joyce in the kitchen. Like, on the one hand, I don’t think Spike would kill her, but on the other, he’s still evil. I mentioned in the last post that Spike has a certain respect for mother’s (based on his past), but I’m not sure that that would affect his animalistic instinct to kill. Maybe in this episode, though, it would. Because he came back to Sunnydale to kill Angel, seemingly, but he didn’t do anything to anybody the entire time besides knocking Xander out. I think the explanation with the kitchen scene is just that Spike needed a mom. He needed someone to be on his side for a little while.

Okay, Spuffy flag on the field. Is that a good sports thing to say? I don’t care enough about athletics to try for a better one. So, we remember Buffy locking Angelus out of her house in season 2, right? Because he’s evil, blah blah. And we remember her inviting Spike into her house so they could discuss taking Angelus down. “Lover’s Walk” is the first episode in which Angel returns to Buffy’s home since he came back from whatever hell dimension he was in. And, as soon as Buffy saw him there, she invited him back in. Because the circumstances had changed. Well, excuse me, but I think after the brief truce her and Spike had, the circumstances were well fucking changed, so why didn’t she disinvite him from her house? She could’ve thought he wouldn’t come back? No. She’s never trusted Spike, why in God’s name would she think the vampire notorious for killing two Slayers would stay out of her life? She knew she could take him/he wasn’t dangerous? Bullshit. To his face, yeah, but we’ve got substantial evidence (even into seasons 6 and 7) that Buffy is afraid of William the Bloody on some level. And if nothing else, shouldn’t she have locked him out just to protect her mother?

It’s just fishy to me, that’s all I’m saying. Not that it’s inherently Spuffy, maybe she’s just lazy, but that’s all I’m saying. Let’s move onto what will come to be known as the Magic Box. We get that awesome shot of Buffy, Angel, and Spike ready to fight like hell. Including “Tabula Rasa,” this is the first of two times that Spike has been trapped in the magic shop because he pissed off a big bad (The Mayor/loan shark) and his vampire minions.

So, these three fighting together lends itself really nicely to including Spike into the Sunnydale scene. He never really did become a Scooby (minus, maybe, the months after Buffy’s death), but those few moments were sort of like an “I could get used to this” thing for the audience.

Be kind rewind here for a second: the speech. You know the one I mean. The “you’ll never be friends” speech. One of my all-time favorite things about Spike is that he’s literally always right (if it doesn’t involve himself). Here’s the thing: Spike seems to feel very comfortable in the fact that he’s a hopeless romantic. Old habits die hard, I guess, but that’s really strange. Because we can see, especially in the following season, that he hates feeling as though he’s less than a man or that he isn’t “bad” or isn’t dangerous. Anything that makes him seem weak, he hates. Now, being a romantic doesn’t imply weakness, but Buffy sure fucking thinks so. She said he was pathetic, he was a loser, whatever. I’m sure some of that was to piss him off, but I’m also sure some of that was meant to act as irony within the writing because what the fuck does she think she’s been doing with Captain Forehead over here?

Moving on from that, it’s honestly such a good bit on love. I’ve heard literally so many people say that it’s the best quote on love they’ve ever heard. For someone who’s known for being shit at poetry…

I have one last quick thing to say about The Speech, and then we’ll wrap up. I kind of love the theme the show took with Spike and the symbolism of blood (I’m referring to the “Love isn’t brains, children. It’s blood” line). I can think of at least three times within the space of the show that Spike has reiterated the importance or the purpose of blood for one reason or the other. It makes sense because he’s a vampire, but it’s more than that. It’s like it’s some holy thing that holds a lot meaning and weight, like it’s sacred to him. I guess Spike has a bit of a history of exaggerating his feelings with things, but it’s interesting.

We’ve only got a bit left here. So, we can tell that the fighting made Spike feel a lot more confident in himself. Probably Drusilla implying that he’d gone soft and then leaving him made him feel emasculated and staking a few vamps was the antidote. One thing I want to quickly point out there: it’s almost like a bit of foreshadowing for his arc with the chip, right? Like, it’s pretty obvious that as long as Spike can kill something, he’s a happy camper. Then he says that thing about torturing Dru until she likes him again. And then he says what is probably my favorite quote from this episode, other than his speech on love: “Love’s a funny thing.” The reason I love it so much is because that’s pretty much Spike’s character in a nutshell. I mean, all the things he’s done or been put through for love is pretty fucking astounding. Not to mention, this sums up basically all the Scoobies’ lives at the moment of this episode. Yeah, love’s pretty damn quirky when you catch your significant other making out with a friend’s significant other and then you fall through some stairs and get impaled with rebar.

Last thing I want to point out in this episode: Buffy breaks up with Angel (for a time, anyway). She says she can fool everyone but not herself…or Spike. All I’m sayin’ is: some things never change.

So, that’s it! A little bit longer than “Becoming: Part 2,” and I got off track a lot, but hey. I’m not exactly sure which episode I’m going to analyze next. Season 4 is very fractured when it comes to Spike. He’s got a lot of really important revelations: the chip, being attracted to Buffy (when Faith was in her body), realizing he could hurt a demon, adjusting to working with the Scoobies for money. But all that shit is in separate episodes. And I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about some of the better Spike episodes like “Something Blue” because there wasn’t really development, just some really cringy kissing noises. So, I think what I’m going to end up doing is maybe a post or two where I combine a couple episodes and talk about them and, if there’s still something left over to talk about, I’ll tack it onto whatever the last season 4 post is. Or make a bulk, season 4 post. I dunno, but I’ll figure that out later. Hope you enjoyed my rambles!

#Buffy The Vampire Slayer #spike analysis #spike and buffy #spuffy #spike from buffy #spike from angel #angel #buffy summers #angel and spike #spangel #angel and buffy #bangel #willow and xander #Xander Harris #willow rosenberg #daniel osbourne #cordelia chase #willow and oz #xander and cordelia

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lightraker · 7 years

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Albada: Pigeons on pink

To understand this poem I think you need to know two things.

Firstly Don Jose Ruiz y Blasco was the father of Pablo Picasso. He was himself an artist and taught art. He painted lots of pictures of pigeons. So much that he was known as “El palomero” (the pigeon fancier). Legend has it that he saw young Picasso drawing some pigeons and they were so much better than anything he ever did that he gave Pablo all his painting materials and never painted again.

Eric’s dad, the poet R F Langley, (I was going to say famous, but maybe admired is the better word), wrote a poem called Jack’s Pigeon. In that poem, a coffee bowl breaks and a pigeon “thuds to the gutter in convulsions”. Jack, who is, I’m bit nervous of defining what Jack is, I think he might be a kind of alter ego for R F, and maybe like a Jack the Lad or man of mischief. Jack sees the probably dead pigeon and checks his “scratchcard”. There are lots of Hamlet references in the poem. I’m thinking there’s a link to the line about “there's a special providence in the fall of a sparrow”. Is God keeping an eye on even the smallest things?

Eric must have been pretty pleased with himself when he made this connection. He’s starting out as a poet, under his father’s shadow. His father wrote a poem about a pigeon. Picasso’s father painted pigeons until Picasso made a better version. Will Eric be Pablo to his father’s Don Jose? I think also, Don Jose’s pigeons look rather lovely. Eric seems to have specifically in mind the one that google throws up which is five pigeons on a pink background. You won’t be surprised that in the end, Eric/Pablo sees that his father’s stuff was better than his.

The Hamlet allusions also work brilliantly with this theme because of course Hamlet is all about a son and the ghost of his father.

Albada means a morning love song in Spanish. I didn’t know the word. But I do recognise Aubade, the French version. Eric says he’s riffing on a number of aubades / albadas in this poem but I can’t help you there. The only Aubade I know in any detail is the Philip Larkin poem. I wonder if there may be an allusion in the description of the blurry outlines in section 2, that become sharply defined in the last section, which remind me a bit of Larkin seeing the blurry outlines in his bedroom becoming sharper at the end. If so, there’s a hint about mortality and fears of death which would fit. Wikipedia tells me that Albada Finder is something in optics, which seems a nice link to themes of the collection.

Orpiment, masticot, Oker de Luce, lac of carmine are all painting materials. Don Jose in the morning is planning some painting.

“Rayleigh… Mei” this is something to do with scientific theories of how light scatters. Like me, you’ll presumably be cringing at the obvious error that the scientist Eric meant is Mie.

“Scumbles" - give a soft effect

“Envious” foreshadows how he’s going to feel about his son.

“civil” - this word sticks out to me. Does it mean polite, ordinary, from the city?

“Dimly” - keeping to the light.

“tender… extension” - Eric is obsessed with words with this root. It’s all to do with reaching out, connecting with another, making yourself vulnerable.

I think we can see that the dawn of the new day is mirroring the coming talent of his son.

“Maria” - is the name of Jose’s wife and Picasso’s mum.

“Jill” - this is the first inkling, I think, that the poem is alluding to Jack’s pigeon. Jill is Jack’s lady (of course).

“Croodling” isn’t this a great word! It means cooing.

“El Palomero” - the pigeon fancier. Apparently Spanish doesn’t have a different word for pigeon or dove. But Jose paints pigeons. However, Picasso as well as drawing pigeons has a famous painting much later in life of a dove of peace. And he called his daughter La Paloma which people seem to translate as “The Dove”. You can imagine she might have preferred it that way. I feel like there’s a lot going on with the idea that the workaday pigeon of the father becomes transformed into the symbolic, beautiful dove of the son.

“Spink” - brilliantly this word means “the cry of a finch”. I wonder how many other birds have a word just for their cry. Did Eric have a moment of serendipitous excitement when he found out it rhymed (hell, contained!) pink? Or did he know this all along?

Senna bush - my botany and the internet lets me down on the connotations of a senna bush, but there is one in “Jack’s Pigeon” by Langley senior, so we’re starting to get more references to that.

“Booby” - idiot, breasts, type of bird. (Also, tit!)

“Jug jug” is the noise a nightingale makes. Also, means breasts! Even I recognise this as a line in the Wasteland. But I’m not sure if it helps specifically to think of that poem, or just that both Eric and Eliot are referring to an earlier tradition of writing about nightingales going jug jug. Apparently it was big in the renaissance.

“full-throated.. god! o god!… shoot.. plum” Something something sex. Perhaps also a little Keats nod. In “Ode to a Nightingale” the bird sings with “full-throated ease”.

“Pomegranate tree” - this introduces, I think, a reference to the Song of Solomon. There’s something about Solomon and pomegranates. “My love, my dove, my fair…” is a quote from that.

“Ignition spark… apples’ pips”. Sex… babies.

“Piz piz” Apparently Picasso’s first words - short for “lapiz” - calling for a pencil. I hope you’re ready for some Freudian penis stuff. Father and son are going to be engaging in some willy waving.

“Pipion” - pigeon.  “Master at the Bellas Artes” - Jose’s job teaching art.

“Kids” childish / jokes.

“Plucks his nib” - masturbation / makes art. Who can tell the difference?

“Squab” - a young pigeon. The word is used in “Jack’s Pigeon”.

“real these really real pigeons” - it seems like we’re back to Zeuxis here. Picasso rivals Zeuxis’ achievement.

I’m not sure at what point we shift from Dad to Son. As of Section 5 we get first person not third. But this seems to be from the dad’s point of view. While I think by Section 7 we’re from the son’s. But I could be wrong.

“the shock that shook” - so this is the dad seeing his son is a better artist.

“Mummed me” - acted as me (mummer) / became my mum / shut me up.

“Barbels” - little beard hairs (on fish? - I got a bit confused by wikipedia here, do fish have beards? and I thought we were talking about pigeons). Anyway, appropriate for the developing youth.

“Crappers” - not sure about this. Is this just because pigeons do a lot of pooing?

“Jacobines” - Jacobins of course are the ruthless revolutionaries - is that the role the son takes? I’m not sure if there’s a reason it’s feminine plural. Obviously links us to Jack.

“gall-free” - I wondered if this removal of gall from the pigeons, suggested the transformation of pigeon to dove (symbolising peace)?

“cheaply” - what sound do birds make?

“blackjacked” - knocked out / gambled away / Jack is now Black.

“here come have them then” - this is when the dad gives away all his painting materials to his son.

“throbbing vanes” - “vane” is the flat part of a feather. It’s nice how the paint brush becomes like a wing - so that the young boy can take flight like the pigeons. This feels like an Icarus allusion. I’m not sure if it’s a direct quote from Ovid, but it sounds like the kind of thing you’d get in translations of Ovid. That’s another model for Father / Son relationships we’re presented with. Let’s hope Eric doesn’t get too carried away with his wings of poetry unlike his wise and crafty dad Daedalus. Also, masturbating.

“Big head” - the arrogance of Eric comparing himself to Picasso. And also, penis.

“Rachis” - stem of grass.

“Filoplume” - hair like feathers.

“Barbs” - suggesting insults / stings. Poor old dad.

“Erleben” - experience (German for having lived).

“Avitrol” a bird deterrent.

Section 6 describes favourably the early pigeon sketch by Picasso.

“Gutter” - this word crops up a couple of times. And strikingly near the end of the poem. A candle gutters meaning it goes out or is about to go out. Is Pablo a “gutter” because his dad is now “gutted”? And remember the pigeon in “Jack’s Pigeon” “thuds to the gutter”.

“This one’s for remembrance”. We’re now entering Hamlet rich territory. This line is from Ophelia. I feel like this marks the moment when the son/Eric/Pablo speaks. He’s remembering his dad. Who, like him, knew his Hamlet! (Ophelia’s the name of the pigeon who dies in “Jack’s Pigeon”).

“Old mole” is what Hamlet calls his father’s ghost.

“Sweet Lady” - “Sweet Lady Street” is where the pigeon dies in Jack’s Pigeon.

“Pau Gargallo” - sculpture friend of Picasso, art school in Barcelona.

“Wash Lane” - not sure of the relevance of this - it is a street in Birmingham sort of in the same part of Britain as where Eric grew up. But I’m probably missing something.

“Penfold” - I really really hope this is an allusion to Dangermouse’s helper. A keeper of pens, the tool the poet needs.

“where the two thousand sad souls go” - this is from Hamlet as he sees the army heading off for war - and Jack’s Pigeon has the bowl breaking like “twenty thousand souls”.

“Over-rounds” - this is something to do with gambling - and so I think is linking to Jack going to the betting shop.

“Polish day trip” - Hamlet reference - “Polack”. And in Jack’s Pigeon the coffee bowl called “Part of Poland”.

“eggshells” - Hamlet: “all that fortune, death and danger dare, Even for an eggshell”.

“Rosemary” - Ophelia gives this “for remembrance”.

“pyggion” - If you google this word, you get Eric’s poem and an academic book called “Bare Ruined Choirs” talking about the moat at Crowle. This seems like a cool coincidence. Shakespeare Sonnet talking about growing old. I think there’s something to do with language changing and in the next couplet we get squib instead of squab.

“An old man of Daulis”. Daulis is where Oedipus didn’t go to when he ended up killing Laius. So I think this is a reference to a key father / son rivalry. (Daulis is also where Tereus lived as in the Philomela, cutting out tongue, eating his own child, turning into a bird, Tereus, so maybe there’s a bird link too). But I think Eric is saying: I’m not killing my dad “this time”. It feels like we’ve got a long way into a poem about father/son rivalry without an Oedipus reference.

Pichon - Spanish for little pigeon

Pijon - French for pigeon.

Paloma - spanish dove / pigeon. I think again there’s something here about language changes, transitions between language like the transitions between generations.

“Haunts” - ghosts.

“How pale they glare” - Hamlet says of his dad’s ghost: “How pale he glares”.

“between the lines” - Looking for his father in his writings.

“street lamps, gas lamps” - again thinking of time passing.

“Clayton’s spirits” - I’ve come up a bit of a blank on what this means. Wikipedia has something about Clayton’s being Australian for fake.

Madeleine - think of Proust having his memory brought back.

“Reverbere” - French for streetlight. But also the idea of the memory reverberating.

“How strong is stillness?” - this quotes from RF Langley’s journal entry of April 1977. He talks about going to a church and the children playing, naming Ruth, Eric’s older sister. The line before is “Gestures of children must stay.”

“Conning” deceive or study carefully.

“Hundred good hellos” - this is a phrase from RF Langley’s poem “Il Redentore” which is a church Venice. I got excited by the thought that it sounds like the returner / reviens. But actually it’s Italian for Redeemer. But something about giving back, right? Giving back the paint brushes?

“Frame that”. Guilt. Painting. Setting.

“Attention… tentif” more of the ten…

“Complex feet” - is this a reference to Oedipus whose name means swollen foot? And has his own complex.

Towlines - a nautical rope.

“Pigeon-toed, dove-tailed”. This is clever, isn’t it!

“Da!” - dad, ta da! and maybe also Russian for Yes!

“Fetch” - bring back, grasp, trick, jerk off, resurrect.

“Mirrors… rage” - I can’t help but think of the rage of Caliban seeing himself in the mirror but that doesn’t seem very relevant here. Hamlet holds up a mirror. Eric reflects his dad. As a “compound compliment”.

“Bearded” - old men have beard, but also means “confronted”.

“Bound about” - jumping / tied up.

“Charged” - attacked, energised, accused.

“screwed in your bedclothes” - are we thinking of sex and Gertrude (Hamlet’s mum)?

“swipe” - rushing stroke / steal.

Here is where Eric / Pablo acknowledges the greater ability of his dad. “It’s all still yours, still yours to say”.

“Passing” - going by or pretending.

“Cyclist” - Eric rides a bike / he recycles poetry.

“Pillar” - a symbol of tradition? (Also penis).

“Well outlined” compare the blurred figure of the dad in the early dawn.

“plastic guttering” - see above. Dad becomes different parts of a building: chantlate- piece of wood holding rafters, in other words a protector. But also chant = sing and late = dead. “Flash line” - part of building or a fancy poem. “eavestrough” gutter.

“Bowl” now the broken bowl of Jack’s pigeon seems to be mended.

“Rings” - sounds out and comes round again.

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recentanimenews · 5 years

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THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH Arrives Just in Time for Episodes 57-63!

Welcome to THE GREAT CRUNCHYROLL NARUTO REWATCH! I'm Danni Wilmoth, and I'll be your host this week as we make our way through all 220 episodes of the original Naruto. Last week, we covered episodes 50-56, and we continue this week with episodes 57-63. This week we see the conclusion of Naruto’s training under Jiraiya and move onto what we’ve all been waiting for: the Third and Final Exam. The main event this time pits genius versus failure as Naruto seeks vengeance for Hinata and Lee against Neji in round one. It’s a raging battle of ideals that leaves everyone asking, “Where the hell is Sasuke?” Before we discuss these episodes, let's take a look at a question WiseJake237 had about summoning: Maybe I'm misunderstanding the Summoning Jutsu, but if Jiraiya is such a horn toad, why doesn't he just use the jutsu to summon attractive women? It seems like one of the Three Legendary Ninjas shouldn't have to go to the lengths that this guy does. Danni: First of all, that pun had me simply croaking with laughter. Second, my understanding of summoning is that a contract has to be formed between the summoner and the one being summoned. I imagine that Jiraiya could theoretically summon women to him, but they’d have to give prior consent first. Exactly the way it should be!!! Now, let's see what the Crunchyroll Features team thought of this week's episodes! So this week’s batch of episodes began with us meeting Gamabunta, my big grumpy frog dad whom I love. I had always assumed summoning animals basically teleports them to your position to assist you, but he mentions something about it being his first time free in awhile. This begs the question, are summoning animals in Naruto basically Pokémon? And since Gamabunta can talk does that make him Detective Pikachu?

Kevin: Whether the Summoning Animals are from another world or just a different place but on the same world seems to be inconsistent. Gamabunta indicated that the Toad Realm and the Village Hidden in the Leaves are two different worlds, but if I remember correctly, when Kakashi introduced his dogs he said that they get teleported from a distant place, and the accompanying visual implied that it was just somewhere far away, but you could theoretically walk there. So in short: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Peter: Boruto gets into some weird spirit world stuff when they consult the Snake sages about Mitsuki’s location. I’m not sure if super late Shippuden gets into it. Pretty sure they’re all hanging out in some spirit world as shadows against a cave wall or something. Noelle: If I remember correctly, I think the summoned animals are from another dimension or other realm, as we never see them in the regular ninja world. Not a lot of detail is put into that, but it’s always fun to see what new summons pop up next. I never thought about frog Ryan Reynolds before, but I’m sure thinking about it now. Carolyn: I have no idea how to answer this question, honestly. But if the frog were Ryan Reynolds and/or Danny DeVito I would be here for it. Paul: I believe that ninja summons are merely a manifestation of the individual summoner's will, i.e. that there is no separate, extra-dimensional “Toad Realm” or “Dog Realm,” but that these creatures are temporarily called into being and given form and personality by the magic of Ninjutsu. I think it's closer to the Shadow Clone technique that Naruto employs. Also, Gamabunta is clearly a yakuza, whereas Detective Pikachu is a cop. Joseph: From what I recall there’s definitely another realm. Doesn’t Naruto end up there at some point? I’m going off my memory of the manga so gotta do a big shrug here, but I love the frogs in general. David: I definitely feel bad for Gamabunta in the same way I feel bad for Pokémon, who mostly get let out to fight or do jobs. He spends who knows how long locked away in some vague spirit world, only to get summoned by some brat who literally won’t get off his back. Give the poor guy a break! Kara: Too early for me to speculate. The world of Naruto has a lot of weird rules to it and I’m still trying to figure out the whole “raising children to fight to the death” thing before I go any further. That said, I am glad I’m not a summonable animal of any sort. I can’t imagine being in the middle of a nap or a conversation or whatever and just BOOM. Sorry, you’re here to fight now. Both last week’s and this week’s episodes have contained allusions to a connection between Naruto and the Fourth Hokage, and the Fourth Hokage’s portrait last week makes it pretty clear what that connection is. Did anyone else happen to see that coming before now?

Kevin: I think that literally everyone knows the “secret” before it gets revealed in the show. Make no mistake though, as we go in to Shippuden and more is revealed, the writing will be beating you with a lead pipe of exposition to make sure that you understand every single detail. Peter: During my first readthrough I think I knew as early as Zabuza since Minato appears in some photos and he has the same hair. I knew enough about shonen to know that the main character always has an important dad. Noelle: Same as Peter, I figured it out pretty early on in my original readthrough--if two characters look uncannily similar in anime, they’re probably related. Carolyn: I thought that was always kind of implied. I have seen the show before, but seem to remember making that assumption pretty early the first time around, too. Paul: I assumed that the Fourth Hokage was Naruto's Dad (a.k.a. Boruto's Granddad) from the brief glimpse of him that we got during the flashback of him sealing away the Nine-Tailed Fox way back in the first episode. No real surprises there. The bigger question is who is Naruto's Mom, a.k.a. Boruto's Grandma? Joseph: This is such a poorly-kept secret I forgot it hadn’t been revealed. David: The ‘mystery’ may lie more in why he would choose to doom his own kid to societal ostracization than if he is Naruto’s dad or not. Kara: I mean, between the resemblance, Naruto’s obsession with becoming Hokage, and the way pretty much any references to the Fourth Hokage are framed, it isn’t so much foreshadowing as a brick to the head. You’re telling me it gets more obvious? A good way to tell when a series has settled into a comfortable position is when it begins experimenting in other genres. We saw that this week in episode 58 when Naruto dabbles in horror aesthetics to flesh out Gaara’s backstory a bit. It broke its own mold both visually and thematically. Do you think this change managed to accomplish anything a normal exposition episode wouldn’t have?

Kevin: I always appreciate any work of art being taken in a new direction, so I liked seeing episode 58 do something different, and the exposition where Naruto starts to understand how similar he and Gaara are was definitely one of the more effective moments. That being said, most of the rest of the episode didn’t really work. From Shikamaru’s magically disappearing shogi board to Ino somehow just having the fruit basket to Gaara actually being as stealthy as a ninja for the first time in his life to AN ENTIRE HOSPITAL BEING COMPLETELY EMPTY, a lot of stuff just didn’t add up outside of just needing to be that way to be creepy. Peter: My second run through I was kinda flabbergasted Gaara suddenly got so verbose out of the context of writing goth poetry. That said Naruto’s response where he realized he completely understood the logic that brought Gaara to being a homicidal maniac was *chefs kiss*. Noelle: Horror always requires some suspension of disbelief in order to be functional, so even though there were quite a few things off about the scene, I enjoyed it more so for the mood it evoked. On that end, I think it succeeded-- I’m always here for series being flexible with the genres they try out. Naruto’s dawning realization that had things been a little different, he could have easily turned out like Gaara, mmm, that was good stuff. Carolyn: Ah, thank you for bringing this up. When we first started rewatching I was waiting to figure out why I used to like Gaara so much. Now I remember. Paul: While I enjoyed the way they framed Gaara as if he were the antagonist of a slasher film, what resonated with me the most was when they dug into his back-story, demonstrating how truly emotionally damaged Gaara is. Prior to that, I couldn't take him seriously as a villain, but once I got a taste of the tragedy at the heart of his character, Gaara became much more palatable. It also re-contextualizes the Kanji character 愛 (“love”) that he has tattooed on his forehead. Joseph: I also love Naruto’s reaction here. It’s one of those moments that goes a long way toward making a character more three-dimensional, and is leagues beyond the typical shonen “he’s bad so I gotta beat ‘im up!” attitude. David: I honestly thought it was a little overwrought, but I very much appreciated the attempt to use a different style to bring some weight to a backstory that might have come across as sort of absurd if played completely straight. Kara: I really like Gaara, but up ‘til now it’s been in the same way that I like horror movies: enjoying the spectacle. But the combination of his back story with (as others have said) Naruto’s reaction to it was just wonderful. I actually busted out laughing when Gaara said “You can’t understand what it’s like” because oh boy. Of all the people he could have said that to. And this scene was a reminder that in spite of his occasional annoying spans, Nart’s a good kid. The main event this time around was obviously the fight between Naruto and Neji. It seems like every fight in Naruto gets overshadowed by Gaara vs. Rock Lee, but I think I might actually prefer Naruto vs. Neji between the two. In your eyes, how do they compare with one another?

Kevin: I still prefer Lee versus Gaara, mainly because the exposition was significantly better handled. Lee has a few cutaway scenes to show his progress and one or two moments to blatantly stating what he was trying to do, while Neji pretty much had an entire episode where he just explained his backstory to Naruto (and every single onlooker, but I guess no one actually cares that the Hyuga side family are basically slaves). Comparing the fighting is tougher, since Lee’s fight was much more bombastic and over the top, while Neji’s was more technical and strategic, so I can see the merits of both. Peter: I have some more complex feelings in retrospect knowing Naruto’s actual place in the world. Even without the benefit of that knowledge the idea of hard work and never giving up allowing even failures to rise above geniuses felt a little stale given that Naruto had a chakra demon in his corner. All the emotional beats really hit hard as well. Shame Hinata didn’t get to see Naruto win. Noelle: Still on the side of Rock Lee vs Gaara, since it’s hard to beat the pure energy that comes from that fight. Admittedly, I’m not as terribly attached to this fight, but putting my biases aside, I do think the two fights serve as something completely different. One has more bombast, and the other is more melancholy and introspective. It’s a little hard to compare the two, since they accomplish two different things. Carolyn: Yeah, I also have to say Rock Lee and Gaara. A big part of which is just the fact I like those characters much more. Though, I did really appreciate Naruto echoing Hinata in his fight. He can be a very good friend sometimes. Paul: Naruto vs. Neji is important because it's not just a clash of skills, but of ideals. Naruto triumphs not just because he's tougher and / or sneakier, but because he's got a more flexible perspective and because his desire to actively shape his own destiny is stronger than Neji's fatalism. They also frame it as the catalyst for Neji to grow and change, and I'm a sucker for that kind of character development. Rock Lee vs. Gaara is much more one-sided, in that it only really highlights Lee’s determination. Joseph: I prefer Lee vs. Gaara, but this is a good and important fight in its own right. I did think it was hilarious when Neji stopped everything to laboriously explain his backstory to Naruto and the packed stadium. Hey, the ref said no arguing, he didn’t say anything about no expatiating! David: Naruto vs. Neji is a pretty bad ‘fight’ - Naruto doesn’t do anything particularly special with his skillset that we haven’t seen before, Neji has him overpowered the whole time until Naruto turns on his fox chakra cheat code, and they spend essentially two straight episode on exposition. Lee vs. Gaara wins on that front. However, it is a very good ‘conflict’, with Neji’s worldview nagging at Naruto’s core beliefs in a way that feels natural for both the world they live in and how the series has characterized Naruto so far. In that sense, this Neji battle wins out. It’s also worth noting that with Naruto’s line “I’ll change Hyuga,” he’s officially made his first Hokage campaign promise. Kara: For me, Gaara vs. Lee still takes it for the fight itself. It’s the end result of the Naruto vs. Neji fight that resonates for me more than the actual combat. The whole “gonna be the Hokage” thing, despite it becoming enough of a running gag that we track it every week, is at its core about acceptance and recognition. The fact that we see people applauding Naruto after the fight — even a few people going “Hey, that fox kid’s pretty dang good” — is so important. We’ve seen the results of Naruto’s hard work and training so far, but that’s a reward in his own language, in a way. That’s him being applauded where he was laughed at and shunned. So for that, I at least give it a nod. Sasuke managed to take center stage for most of the Chunin Exams, but in the past few weeks his presence in the show has decreased more and more. In his absence Naruto has stepped back into the limelight to finally show us what he’s capable of. How do you feel about Naruto now compared to the beginning of this rewatch?

Kevin: I definitely enjoy him more now than at the beginning of the series. I get that his character is supposed to start as someone annoying who doesn’t listen to people, but having him be more focused, competent and actually able to hold his own in a fight and so show people that he isn’t just a screw up is much easier to watch than the kid from the first few episodes who couldn’t even transform. Peter: Naruto’s fights still don’t get the same animation quality so there’s definitely some favoritism going on. Always felt that Naruto was the funnest to root for narratively but Sasuke was the funnest to watch fight. Noelle: I think more focus on Naruto is a good thing- the series is named after him, and we need to see him grow. As well-animated as Sasuke is, he’s already reached the point where he’s highly capable (even if he still has his own struggles), and there’s a kind of effortlessness in his fights. Shonen always features the underdog rising to the top, and that’s Naruto, not Sasuke. Carolyn: Kind of touched on this earlier, but for me, what makes a Naruto fight is the emotion he puts behind it. He cares very much about those around him and that comes through in his performance. Paul: I'm still not completely sold on Naruto as the protagonist. Comparing it to One Piece, I can think of probably a dozen moments where Luffy's heroism crystallizes the themes of the series, where we can see why so many people love and support him, and why he loves and supports so many people in return. I haven't yet experienced that same kind of “come to Jesus” moment with Naruto yet. Joseph: Naruto is still kind of whiny, especially when he wants Jiraiya to watch over his training, but I like the way he’s developing and getting more time to come into his own as the protagonist. David: Between his realized connection with Gaara and righteous anger with Neji’s story, I am actually coming to appreciate the sort of empathy that could make Naruto a good leader in the future - it already goes beyond him being able to Punch Good. Kara: I think what recent episodes have done for me is contextualize what annoyed me about him originally. His actions and feelings make more sense, and we’re seeing that he actually has the motivation to back up his ambitions. As always, what were the high and low points of this week’s batch?

Kevin: As odd as it might sound, Gaara telling Shikamaru and Naruto about his past is both the high and low point for me this week. I love the slow reveal about how similar Naruto and Gaara are, and the scene is effectively creepy, but at the same time Naruto is frozen with fear… which is something that he swore he would never let happen again and so is somewhat out of character for him. Peter: As above, I wish Gaara had been a bit less transparent with his exposition dump. Maybe explaining his logic without also throwing out his entire life story. Could have done that in flashback without him explaining it so that we know even if others don’t. Just getting a bit of insight into Gaara’s perspective allowing Naruto to realize their connection would have made it even more impactful. My favorite moment was Naruto running into Hinata before the exam. Noelle: High point would be the Gaara reveal. While its execution would be a low point technically, I’ve gotten so immune to shonen having lengthy flashbacks or exposition dumps that I’m more surprised when a series doesn’t do that. Carolyn: Surprisingly, as much as I loved the creepy goth Gaara exposition, my high point was Sakura buying more flowers for Rock Lee because she thought the old ones would have wilted. When this show really wants to get emotional, they know how to do it right. Low point … honestly kind of getting burnt out on how many kids have marks and bad dads. Paul: The high point for me was how they dug deeper into the behind-the-scenes politics with the secret schemes of the Kazekage, who is at odds with the peace-promoting plans of his daimyo. I really dig the ninja intrigue. The low point was all of the screen time they squandered on speculating about whether Sasuke had been murdered by Gaara prior to The Final Test. I don't think anyone was buying what they were trying to sell there. Joseph: I wasn’t that high on the attempt at horror and suspense in the Gaara ep. The boarding and execution seemed kind of sloppy and haphazard. The high point was Naruto vs. Neji and the quote of the week was Kabuto behind the Anbu mask saying, "I'm not suspicious or anything." David: Surprised no one has pointed out the almost entire episode spent on Naruto trying to get to the exam on time as a low point, because I was bored to tears. High point is Neji in the hospital after his fight. Kara: Gotta agree on Naruto’s meeting with Hinata being the high point of the week. I like seeing them encourage each other, be it actively or passively. Low point is probably the drawn-out Sasuke non-mystery. Alright, lightning round. You’re nine years old, and it’s time for recess. You and your friends are all about to play pretend as your favorite Naruto characters. Which one is nine year old you picking? Personally, I’m Shikamaru.

Kevin: Me nowadays would pick Shikamaru, pretty much no question. If I’m thinking back to when I was nine though, I’m pretty sure I would’ve picked Sasuke. Not because the girls all have crushes on him or because he’s “an Avenger” with a tragic backstory, I honestly just love all of the jutsus, especially finding interesting ways to combo them together, and he has access to more than most of the other Genin. I also remember that as a kid, the attack he’ll show off next week was one of my favorite techniques in the show, along with the Eight Inner Gates, which is why Lee is the only other person I might’ve gone for. Peter: At 9 I’d definitely want to be Sasuke, at least in this point in the story. I think at that age fighting style would take precedence over any kind of characterization or narrative. If we hit Shippuden already though, 9-year-old Peter would prefer Sasori 100%. Noelle: Young me preferred Gaara and one other character that hasn’t appeared yet and current me feels… the exact same way. My taste in characters has always been consistent, I guess! Nate: Lee or Guy. I'd have paper bags filled with rocks so I could "drop the weights" and then run around faster. Carolyn: Probably Gaara, as 9-year-old me. But now, most likely Shikamaru or Rock Lee. Paul: Believe it or not, nine year old me would go with Sakura. As a kid, I generally identified with the girl characters in male-dominated cartoons, such as Princess Allura in Voltron and Arcee in the animated Transformers movie. What can I say? I like pink. Joseph: I’d be Kankuro, running around shouting “PUPPET POWER!” at all my annoyed friends. David: Back in the day I started growing my hair out just to be more like Sasuke, so definitely him. Kara: Probably Kiba while trying to convince my childhood dog to be my Akamaru. I had a border collie, so it would either have gone perfectly or terribly. COUNTERS: "I'm gonna be Hokage!" count: 23 Bowls of ramen consumed: 29 bowls, 3 cups Shadow Clones created: 258 And that's everything for this week! Remember that you're always welcome to join us for this rewatch, especially if you haven't watched the original Naruto! Here's our upcoming schedule! -Next week, on MARCH 22nd, the Chunin Exams give way to an even greater conflict in EPISODES 64-70 as NICOLE MEJIAS hosts! -Then, on MARCH 29th, DANIEL DOCKERY returns as the Third Hokage springs into action in EPISODES 71-77! -On APRIL 5th, CAYLA COATES stops by just in time to introduce us to a mysterious new shinobi in EPISODES 78-84! Thank you for joining us for the Great Crunchyroll Naruto Rewatch! Have a great weekend, and we'll see you all next time! Have any thoughts on our thoughts on Episodes 57-63? Let us know in the comments below! We’re also accepting questions and comments for next week, so feel free to ask away!!! ----- Danni Wilmoth is a Features and Social Videos writer for Crunchyroll and also co-hosts the video game podcast Indiecent. You can find more words from her on Twitter @NanamisEgg. Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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bookreadalongs · 7 years

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November 9

17:16 5/9/2017 I should've waited until 11/9 to read this. It did not escape me that those numbers were 9/11 in a different order. This is not that kind of book at all though. Was. It a huge fan of the first part. It was not relatable , unbelievable, and just full of instalove. It was interesting that Fallon pointed out a lot of the shit. They both pointed out a lot of it, actually. It just felt weak...yet here I am, unable to put it down. Second November 9 Also, I did appreciate that he could not articulate his thought spectacularly. I appreciated that as a writer (and a person in general) he knew the importance of digging beneath the surface, finding motivation and truth that cannot immediately be seen. 87. A manic episode? So...he's bipolar? - also, doubtful now...but I thought he could possibly be a prostitute when his room mate was like yoooo where ya been 99. He seems to be the only one (okay, only Fallon and her dad are the other people I took into consideration) emphasizing her life in the whole...ordeal. 104. haha that's Kyle's girlfriend, right? Who's living with them now? I went to go back and check, but then I stopped myself. I should just read on. - Ah...so Fallon is what he wished his mom was...weird phrasing. I meant, alive. Hey, Fallon also compared Ben to her mom. 111. Yeah, as soon as Kyle came in and acted like that I was 10% more intrigued. Now, it's been amped up to 25% more 112. I don't get it. Is Kyle...it can't be Fallon in particular that he had a past with. CHoover has already done that shizz. 127. He's so loaded... 133. She so isn't going to be able to do all that with him. It's too perfect...too planned. This book is about things- reality- stopping plans from coming to fruition 138. You got a last minute plane ticket for her. Her dads not rich, but she seems well enough off to see you. And this book will be weird if one of the only times you see each other in five years is a phone call. 152. All of her nakedness and he hadn't even been shirtless yet. I've a feeling his jealousy is no match for what hers should be comparing his romantic endeavors with hers. I'd like her to keep the shirt 168. This is good. I like this. It's just not as compelling as LJ...maybe I'm just not grown up enough...but this is just... wry clearly a romance novel 171. Did he cause his mom's death? I have noticed (obviously) CHoover's method of having a character have some deep dark secret. Blaming himself for something that is not his fault is...not it. I don't know. 176. I appreciate CHoover's consciousness of people (okay, admittedly frequently females read her books) are quick to blame the female character. I'm kind of glad I didn't. I used to be that way. Such double standards... 180. Oh my gosh. HOW DID SHE DO IT? I TOTALLY FELT THAT WOULD HAPPEN? WHAT FORESHADOWING DID SHE DO? Like how it was obvious that one guy was deaf. She just gives out these subtle vibes. That's what really impresses me. I was thinking how it would be weird if brother thing...THEN IT HAPPENED. But it's also like...they were at their weakest ever...surely it couldn't have continued...yet her we are. Talk about bad timing, huh? Always. @LJandJohnAmbroseMcClaren 182. Wow. That's what he thinks? That's really what he thinks...that's what t alluded to I suppose. 183. I realized why it seemed like he was with Jordyn. He was being a dad. I mean...that had to been all there was...but, hm. I don't know. Those vibes, man. 184. I'm dying. This is it. This is why. I can feel so enamores and captured by the book even if I feel kind of a tinge apathetic and a little not connected to the characters...yet also tear up at these moments. 185. Obviously you can't leave like this...on the off chance you both decide to come back next year. "Off chance"...but for them it could be the last time they see each other. I guess she just makes weirdly real characters even though they also feel so fake...I really do admire her as an author. I feel like that admiration isn't coming through enough. I do love her work. 186. WOOO LOVER BOY NOTICES. This just makes for such a fucked up family. Like, the future? After they've had se x? Like...no. What the heck. Uncle...uh...Ben? And mommy? Ewwww! 188. Ohhhhhhh! Ben was with Jordyn first? Maybe? Interesting! I just read about Fallon not wanting to take him away from a woman who has been through so much. How did that cause me to think that? How does she write like this? 189. AH THAT WAS GOOD. That was SO GOOD. Fifth September nine 193. I bet this is the first one that started...not about one of them thinking about the other. The fire. I want to read Slammed. She says that...because she's afraid she'd lose the race of love. 198. "I'm studying the probability of soulmates" I love it. I hands down love it so much. That is my favorite sentence in this whole book. Because, of course he's studying that. That's just...him. I love it so much. Especially after Fallon began this chapter not believing in fate. It's great. 199. Okay, maybe I'm completely being ignorant here, but I feel like vibes were to be given off that Theodore was being a like...I need to find another word...rapey. 200. He never loved her though...did he? See, if I as the reader don't know, it's completely fair for her not to know. Did amber tell him? 202. They. Not we. Home? Surely he lives somewhere else then? But...that house is too big for only the two. 206. STOP SHE IS KIND OF A LITTLE DRUNK INSTEAD OF ROOTING FOR HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE NOVEL I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HECK 207. So, Amber did not tell Ben.... 208. Haha cue the scene where you're meant to love Amber 209. Ahhh! So it was Glenn! Obviously. Good job, dude! 210. I want her to say no. But that tomorrow-yes, that would be good. She needs to feel bad for how he felt too. 211. HOW DARE YOU!! Awww her friends....plus Ben 213. Agreed. Very agreed. A million times agreed. I hope the epilogue is like November ten -year six A year needs to pass OF them being a couple for an epilogue 214. He never told her he loved her. Not in those words, sure that he was falling in love with her, but not actually there. 215. See? That's what I knew would be really weird and bad and icky for a long time. 219. Okay, when is his bombshell going to drop though? It's always in these last few pages. 221. AHHHH HOW DID HE DEPICT HER? Maybe that's it. I feel like it'll have to play a role. Maybe after she broke his heart? I don't know! I'm so excited! 224. Honestly, better restraint than me. 227. Wow. I imagined he was the cause of his mother's fire. This is...not what I really thought. Awkward. Weird. Very secretive. Not poetic. 228. He did evade that one question early on. It was before I started taking notes. Mental notes though...Amber, I think asked when they met-no. That was how long they were dating. Fallon said something? I don't know, oh wait! About the first time he saw her, I think? Then he was like "well when I first saw you in that booth an hour ago..." and I was like that's so not what she said. But he didn't know the accident or...I guess just the situation she was referring to...oh. Welp. 228. Why would he incriminate himself by telling everyone? I'm confused by that. 230. I thought he commit arson for so long. How does she do this? 232. I like it. Like, that's what he dad instilled in her for so long. She had so many walls built up. For the one to help her take them down to hide this...and do it. Woah there. 234. I came into this book thinking it would be the fact that she didn't know he was writing about her would be the breaking point. Then, she knew the whole time, so I stopped thinking that...well...assumptions will be the death of me. 236. Wow. I like it. Ah, yes. Another year. 241. Okay, we all know it wasn't Amber. 243. Okay, even though she won't read it obviously her mom would. Or else, how else would their love story progress? We see his perspective to understand it's true. It weed out the fabrications imagined by a girl who has only seen him 5 days over the course of her life. 249. What? Was Fallon's father the cause of it? 250. Apparently...she went through with it. So, no foul play. Her tattoo, how does t relate to his? I guess just the fact that she was a poetry major. What about the fact that it was on a staff? 251. I see now. Something to do with his father, maybe? Uhg. Please don't let them be siblings...unless Fallon's mother was also unfaithful, but that would just screw up HER character. 252. I guess he did say music was important. Well, he only said that because of his mother. I need to go to that first time he went home. I need to reread that. 53-54. Where was he last night? 254. No page numbers is making this difficult. This is...obvious, right? 258. Oh, was he outside of their house that night? I want to go back to when Fallon talked about the girl who married for the money Donovan didn't have. I want to see Ben's response. Again. Not now though. Not right before the arson. 265. Panic attack? What does he have? Anything? Definitely something. Counting down? Ah, DEFINITELY something. 273. So, when Kyle died...he lost. He lost everything. 276. Wowza. This is long. I feel like my suicide letter- woah. Like, hypothetically. Completely hypothetically, would be super long too. Because I ramble. This note is very inappropriate. Did not realize that when I began it. Welp. What can ya do? WOAH WOAH WOAH PLOT TWIST. I saw the others coming, this? Not so much. 278. Had Kyle read the letter? He tossed the money on the table like he knew what he was doing. If Ian had to go to the station, and only just picked up a copy...Kyle couldn't have read t yet. WOW LOOKY THERE! BEN DID KNOW! That date was important for Ben too. That's why he was at their house the night before. That's why he was so unkempt. That's why neither of them slept much. 280. What do you mean half the manuscript? That was three chapters, none of which had you. Oh, she must have read more. Must have, right? 281. Oh. So, he wasn't visiting their house. He was with someone. Just as I thought earlier. Who the heck is it? How did Jordyn know? 382. He said once he met and talked with and did everything that day with Fallon, actually, it was in the middle. Because that's when he saw Kyle. But he said to himself, in his inner monologue, that he would change now...because of her. 283. Uhhhhhhhgggg fuck. That's exactly what I thought. Kyle. Kyle knew...that's fucking kid. Oh my gosh. I'm so blown away right now. Kyle was such a fricken trooper. Oh fuck. Goodness gracious that was such a trip. Good. I'm so glad. 287. Ahhh! Then you follow him to wherever he goes because you want to talk? 296. Ahhh! After all those spin offs of the story from the guy's side, this is the best. Well, she always alternates. She tries to make them more...masculine with boobs and whatnot, but they're always sensitive. Not just her, a bunch of writers. That's okay though. Because they're so dang lovable. Wait wait wait. Half way through the manuscript? That isn't that long. Certainly not enough for a novel...hmmm... 298. Ah, yes. Fate was in that little poemy bit hat has been before each action. HEY MY EPILOGUE IDEA OF NOV 10 IS LIKELY...or they'll just finish things up on the ninth like usual. I'd actually, again, prefer a flash forward...so Year 7. Like Harry Potter! But...why did they always wait so long so solve any bit of their problems? Interesting. "Last". Wasn't the fifth the last? Is it one in the same? It must be. Obviously they must make up...now. 305. Throwback to before when I started writing notes and she was like and there's this awesome guy who's practically a fictional boyfriend in front of me and I was like hah eye roll. 306. Aww that's actually quite cute. Could've gone straight to him though...and just gotten it together. You really scared him. But, it's fine. 307. Haha spoilers. I love it though. It's just as cutesy as one would only expect. Also, it's good that it didn't end on the twelve thing. I like that. It's cause of the whole author thing and her love of reading. Can we take a second to adore that she opened up a whole new genere to him? That's huge! A whole new world of possibilities were introduced. That's so sweet. I mean...also that they saved each other, but details, you know? 20.57 read straight through for the first time in a while 4 stars

#Colleen Hoover #may2017 #2 #2017

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