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hostilemuppet · 3 months

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Saw the JD & Floyd post and was about to say “Maybe he should” but then it just made me sad. Like damn he cares about his family to the detriment of himself, what does that say about his relationship with Creek. I think I remember you writing something about Floyd realizing he’s genuinely fallen in love with him.

you want me to show how much thought ive put into tdau floyd? the funny cokehead with commitment issues? the guy who posts thirst traps out of spite? okay (keep in mind that most of this is just what *I* think and hasnt been cleared with alex, but when i write for floyd its genuinely what i consider in the back of my mind)

i think he was 13 y/o when he went out on his own (1999), began seeing the rest of the troll tree for himself, until he finally escaped on his own at around 15 (2001), a year before the entire tribe was evacuated (2002). he hitch hiked a bit and got to see a bunch of tribes but he only really got to see techno reef and volcano rock city, staying in vrc a lot longer (LONG before barb was in power and turned rocks view on pop from "they fucked up a really long time ago but were safe from them now" to "we need to colonise them back") and discovering a lot about himself in the process

he turned 18 (2004) and, as most ex-child stars do, immediately went IN on hard drugs and sex with strangers, as if thats the test for proving your adulthood. and he had a good time! he spent most of his life drugged to the gills and unable to look himself in the mirror the rare moments he was sober, but, yknow. details. then he got bored. and he went travelling again

at the age of 20 (2006) he left troll kingdom entirely. obviously he stayed CLEAR of bergen town (and silently prayed to whatever god pop trolls typically believe in that his family were safe and undigested). but he saw all sorts of places! places we havent seen yet, with species we havent seen yet, of extremely varying sizes! hell, he mightve met a species or two that are smaller than trolls! imagine that. but spending years travelling, it gets lonely. he never got to connect with anyone. hell, he never even had a real boyfriend! the most he had was that situationship he had that lasted 5 weeks before he got ghosted when that techno troll got back with his girlfriend. (its okay though, he channels his pain into his art, and that was one became his most popular song on bandcamp by a significant margin!)

at 27 years old (2013) he arrived in mount rageous. sure, they were huge, and he was terrified of being eaten, obviously. but they didnt want to eat him! they thought he was cute. and, he wont lie, he liked the attention. he became a novelty, that tiny little creature with his even tinier guitar, who apparently built up such a tolerance he can handle mount rageon drugs. imagine doing blow with stewert little. they loved him, as entertainment. he still didnt have anyone who loved him as a person, but at that point he was willing to settle.

when hes 36 (2023) he gets kidnapped by velvet & veneer, and of course no one thought to look for him. you wouldnt notice if the mouse in your house suddenly went missing. at most youd think someone you live with finally took care of it, and youd move on with your life.

the events of the movie happen, hes reunited with his siblings, he actually feels valued as a person again, AND to top it all off, those two months in the bottle did WONDERS for detoxing. next time he tries pop troll coke he actually feels a buzz! he never thought hed see the day!

brozone reunite, we see the early days of their career carry out in the au. floyd feels like hes on top of the world. hes got his family back, hes back in pop village (albeit, its a different pop village than he knew. hell, they used to all it troll village back then!) hes releasing actual music again, and not just busking for tips (its okay he didnt need much, he rented out a mouse hole for cheap). but he wants an actual connection. he wants a relationship. but hes never actually had that! hes never even felt respected by a potential partner! so he goes back to random hookups. and, yknow, its fun, he guesses. but he wants more

the first troll who seems to actually take interest in him as anything more than a hot piece of ass or "that guy from brozone" rocks his world. hes ashamed to admit that after knowing the guy for 3 hours he already thought about spending the rest of his life with him. he just wasnt used to being spoken to like a person by anyone other than immediate family members! its okay though, he couldnt scare him off, because he was being paid to be there, and after recording himself getting in floyds pants (the only way he knows how to show affection at this point) it was all over the internet

so, you know, obviously floyd wasnt doing great. hes gotten good at hiding his feelings (not like anyone really cares about them anyway) but he was clearly struggling. he did what he does best, and turned it into a joke, so maybe itd hurt a little less. he probably made it worse, but at least he was numb now. he goes back to hookups, deciding hell never have an actual boyfriend, hell never get married, and hes okay with that. well, hes clearly not, but its not like anyone ever asked, so he has to deal.

then he meets creek. and at this point hes not stupid. hes not that naive little kid anymore, and when he wakes up the next morning and realises his newest one night stand was that guy, the asshole, the one who everyone hates, he knows hes the butt of the joke, again. theres probably a camera, again. he leaves before creek wakes up.

but then he meets him again, a few days later. and creek says how much of a shame it is he never got his digits. and floyd doesnt know what to make of this. but he knows he shouldnt trust him. he heard everything riff said about him, everything BRANCH said about him. he knows every one of creeks crimes. but maybe he just wants to have some fun, yknow? everyones always fucking with him, maybe he wants to play around sometime. show the world hes not some little helpless doll.

what follows is about a year and a half of gay chicken on expert mode. creek pretends to love floyd. floyd pretends he doesnt know creeks pretending. floyd feels in control, almost. he gets comfortable. he refuses to believe its love, how could it be love? theyre awful to each other. but its, technically, his first real relationship. he tries not to think about it.

maybe encouraging creek to propose was a little more than seeing how far he can push him before he snaps. maybe he wanted to prove that hes worth it, even if the other guy wasnt. maybe he genuinely cried when he got angelinas egg, even if hed rather die than let creek see him express genuine emotions. he knows hes the sensitive one, but hes more than brozone. hes a person. a person that people dont ever seem to want to know.

then he realises. hes not the only one whos gotten comfortable. creek looks... not happy, exactly. but content. and floyd thinks thats terrifying. its too far, thats not how any of this was supposed to work. it was REVENGE. floyd was fucking with him, because creek was fucking with him first! now hes married, hes MARRIED, with KIDS, TWINS! THAT HE NAMED! and he loves them! and he loves creek! and creek loves him! hes gonna be sick. he cant do this. he cant be here. he lives in a mansion but its suffocating him. he leaves. he divorces creek.

hes miserable again. jd doesnt notice bc hes "the sensitive one", and his other brothers dont know how to bring it up without making it worse. branch is the only one who asks how hes holding up, but he just says hes fine, hell bounce back. he doesnt bounce back

when he meets creek again, he wants to cry. he wants to get on his hands and knees and beg him to take him back, but he has a LITTLE bit of self respect left. when he finds out creek missed him too its more than he can take. when they get drunk, and floyd forces jd to re-marry them, floyd actually feels like a person. a broken person, who healed in a creek-shaped mould, but a person nonetheless. and maybe thats all he can ask for

#ask #tdau #yeah ik i always insist its a comedy au. okay. there has to be a bit of bitterness so you can taste the sweetness of the comedy

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areallybadwriter · 7 months

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9/24

found the will to provide an update. got inspired whilst reading through my past posts and decided it would do me some good. and jesus christ, the last couple of posts have a lot of run-ons. i need some more practice obviously.

the city is doing me quite well at the moment. i had a brief stint of absolute disdain for my everyday life when i was unemployed and still adjusting to one of the biggest life changes a human being can experience. there was this period of feeling terrible about my self (physicality-wise) which im presuming is because its a new territory full of new people - a lot more people at that. a lot more people that i shouldn't value their passerby opinions but i do anyways. im getting over it now and am starting to like myself again but boy did i slip for a minute. ive been exploring new places, whether it be food or entertainment, which has provided me a sense of understanding of this place i live in. my friend and i were actually discussing how the city still felt a little weird to reside in, still enough foreignness to give off warning signs at times. we decided we hadn't sat at enough coffeeshops by ourselves yet, or we hadn't gotten enough groceries. i try to remember what moving from my hometown to my college town felt like but i don't recall the same amount of difficulty to adjust. i think in time i will feel better about it, maybe when the weather or just the general business of this place has chewed me up and spit me out a bit. i do hope that the winter is kind.

i had this past weekend off of work so i decided to take the train to this cute lakeside town where my very best friend (who ive known since i was 15) who now lives thousands of miles away was visiting her family's cottage. the train was gorgeous and ive never felt such excitement at the chance of listening to my music, sketching a little, and sitting in my own two seater on a train taking me to the beach. i thought of it as something so valuable i think i would only take someone who i truly love on there. to show them. they kicked us off halfway through to exit the train and board a bus to resume the rest of the trip because there was construction on the tracks. that part wasn't as fun, but i quickly arrived at my destination and had a wonderful less-than-24-hours with my best friend. the cottage her family owns has been in the family for many, many years and they've kept it pretty much the same. its an untouched but well-lived part of history and i basically foam at the mouth with adoration every time im there. its all lace and florals and carved wooden floors. we had a bonfire on the beach the night i arrived and all shared barbecue chicken pizza from this place down the road. her and i split a bottle of chianti and got a little tipsy, while her family talked and laughed amongst themselves. being away from home and familiarity for awhile, it felt really good to stretch out on the beach with all of them. it really filled the void of loneliness and missing my family. we took the train back into the city the next day after we drank coffee and ate breakfast casserole on the beach as the sailboats went by. it was a gorgeous little break and im glad i got to see her at the beginning and end of her trip. we plan on me visiting her next or both of us meeting somewhere in the middle.

one of my other best friends from high school (who is in the same friend group as the girl mentioned above) had a psychotic episode this past week and is most likely in an inpatient mental facility currently. she was my roommate up until i moved to the city and she is still living in our college town, now with her little sister and another bestie from that friend group. while we lived together throughout the years, she definitely had episodes and mentally ill tendencies (honestly, we all did) and it had gotten worse in the recent years. she had finally found some good therapy and some good meds that seemed to be doing wonders for her but i believe she went off of them, thus entering another episode. she was texting complete nonsense to a few of us in an aged group chat and from what i heard, didn't recognize her own sister and ended up calling the cops on herself. i hate being far away and not being able to help more and not being more informed on the situation. i just hope that she gets the inpatient help that she's needed for quite a long time and can get to the bottom of some of these issues. i think its interesting how many of us in the friend group have had psychotic episodes. i don't think i have personally experienced an episode exactly like that but there's something to be said about people forming friend groups around shared feelings and similar mental states.

wyoming is coming to visit me in a couple weeks. we are going to a late-night concert and then hopefully hanging out for awhile the next day. he has not been to my place in the city yet, which i think he will enjoy. the last time we were in the city together it ushered in a new era of how we interacted with each other (in a very positive light imo) so i hope this trip will provide us the same. there's something to be said about neither of us knowing many places or people up here. it lacks years of memories like our hometown so we are rid of burdens and guilt we may have experienced otherwise. maybe our purest forms. ive had a couple revelations about him recently as i haven't seen him in person in awhile and can think more clearly without constant thoughts of how our last time seeing each other was or something. the latest one was that i think i like him a lot more than he likes me. it absolutely stewed the last few days and it was hard to even talk to him over the phone because i kept reminding myself of the heartbreak. we had a conversation weeks ago about being able to love things or people and how both of us were scared that we had never actually done that. talked about how maybe every relationship up until this point had felt faked at times. we both related on these things, but he never clarified whether these feelings applied to our relationship as well. for me, unsurprisingly, it has been the most genuine connection ive ever had and there's never been a need or feeling to fake anything. and i know for a fact i love him. can just tell, and honestly ive felt it from sixteen and on. its something that freaked me out years ago but so much time has wilted the panic of it all. what scares me now is the investment of care ive put into it all, and with that comes certain moments of absolute uncertainty on whether he feels the same at all (especially if we've recently had a conversation about being able to love other people or he's in one of his distant periods). i think seeing him in person and spending that amount of alone time with him will mend some things and hopefully give me insight on how to proceed with the relationship. although at the end of the day, i know he will always be around somehow.

saved this is drafts and forgot what i was going to say next so to post it goes.

xoxo anonymous

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bluntz420x · 8 months

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Is your birth year an odd or even number? Odd.

Which one of your friends is the most outgoing? hmm, probably the younger ones, lol.

Have you eaten any of your favourite foods today? i just woke up like an hour ago, so no, i havent eaten anything yet today.

When did you last find yourself in an awkward situation? if i paid attention to stuff like that, probably more often than i think.

What did you have for lunch yesterday? i think all i had was a bagel, before dinner.

In school, which subject(s) do/did you find the most difficult? applied maths, like statistics.

Who was the last person you Facebook messaged? What’s his/her star sign? wow LOL, i have no idea. i joined facebook like 15 years ago.

Who did you last say “thank you” to? Why? probably kyle. he ran in the house two times to get stuff i forgot.

Name a band you like, that starts with the same letter as your surname. nothing is jumping out to me.

When was the last time you ignored, or went against, someone’s advice? ha, i think this is another one of those things where, if i paid attention, id know the answer.

What happened? lol see above, who knows.

How many different towns/cities have you lived in? ive never lived outside of the greater metropolitan area of the immediate city near me.

Who is the 10th contact in your phone? What’s his/her favourite food? LOL thats someone in my neighborhood. i dont know them personally at all.

When was the last time you felt your heart racing? last night.

Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? OF COURSE DUH lol.

How old were your parents when they met? when they met, i believe my mom was around 25 and my dad was around 30. could have been maybe 2 years before that, tops. they didnt date long before getting pregnant with my older brother.

When was the last time you had Nutella? a few months ago. i binged it and got tired of it.

Who is your favourite character in “The Simpsons”? lisa, hands down.

How about “The Big Bang Theory”? i dont like that show. its never been that funny to me.

What are your parents’ middle names? this is a security question if ive ever seen it, lol.

Who is the 2nd contact in your phone? What colour are his/her eyes? i just saw him the other night and i have no idea, LOL. dude is high af whenever we hang out so XD

Name someone with a sexy sounding voice. my husband.

What genre(s) of music did you listen to 10 years ago? same stuff really. ive had eclectic taste my entire life.

Are your eyes the same colour as your sibling’s? yes, just different shades. my brother has the lightest eyes, my sister is the darkest, and that leaves me in the middle lol.

How many pets do you have? Would you like any more? i have 3 cats and 1 dog. i definitely want more, when we move into a larger space with a yard. i think max cats in a house will be 4 probably, max dogs will be 2.

Do you prefer still or sparkling drinks? still. i cannot stand carbonation.

Is there a song you can’t stop listening to atm? not really. i love reggae lately.

What colour are the eyes of the person you have feelings for? my husbands eyes are blue.

Is there a song that you’re fed up of hearing? no lol.

Did you have a strange or interesting dream last night? i cant remember my dream from last night. i think it was all right. i didnt wake up uneasy lol.

Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? hm, if yes, it happened so long ago i cant remember lol, sorry.

Name 3 things that are in your refrigerator atm. milk, creamer, butter.

If your Facebook status doesn’t get any likes/comments, does it bother you? no. if i post, i post because i want to, not because im looking for attention.

Which friend do you confide in most? kyle mostly, then lizzy second.

What does your 6th text message say? pfft who knows, modern texting isnt like that.

What was your most recent reason for smiling? :) probably kyle lol. its usually kyle.

Do you struggle to articulate your thoughts and feelings? not really. i have worked very hard to get decent at that.

Have you ever watched a Sons of Anarchy? nope.

Do you want to see The Woman In Black? i would, i guess. i like daniel radcliffe. it just looked too scary at the time.

Has a random guy ever asked you for your phone number? i dont think so.

Has a guy ever pulled over to ask for your number or call you hot? LOL no, the opposite actually, ive been heckled.

How attracted are you to the last person that kissed you? quite!

Name something that you are doing tonight. putting off actual work lol.

Are you a jealous person? uh, i mean i have the capacity to be jealous, but i dont think id be described as a jealous person.

Do you like February? not really. its the shortest month of the year, but because its at the end of winter, it feels like the longest month of the year.

Where have you lived throughout your life? just around the current area.

Have you ever known a white supremacist? probably. im pretty outspoken tho so i doubt a supremacist of any variety would tell me that they are.

What were you doing an hour ago? ugh, sitting in this same spot at my desk, feeling less lost i suppose lol.

In regards to who do you think ‘what if?’? Link XD "what if he was real" no other what ifs anymore.

Do you like the smell of a barbecue? fuck yes.

Do you get excited when you find Sanrio products at Wal-Mart? no.

Are you 420 friendly? absolutely!

Do you own a Champion’s sport bra? champions? like champion brand? no.

Do you watch Justified? nope.

How many cups of tea of coffee do you have in a day? 1-2. i drink half caff usually though.

Do you own a varsity jacket? no.

Dolce Vita or Jeffrey Campbell? who?

Ryan Gosling or Channing Tatum? oof… ryan gosling. hes more my type.

Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? LOL yes, both. a therapist before, actually.

Would you rather someone you loved passionately hate you or be indifferent to you? hate me! then i have a goal to make the feeling mutual.

Have you read Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre? no, but i want to.

I bet you miss somebody right now? duh!

What are you planning on doing after this? work. snooze.

How much money do you spend in a month on clothes or accessories? barely anything. i dont like shopping like that anymore.

What was the last clothing item you wore that doesn’t belong to you? i wear kyles shirts and pants sometimes, but his stuff is my stuff LOL, so… good question.

Do you watch Jersey Shore? no.

Do you have a thing with someone? yes, my husband.

Do you have any bruises on either of your legs? i found a mystery bruise on sunday, but that happens lol.

Who was the last person to touch your stomach? kyle.

Something tragic just happened. Does your facial expression show it? most likely. im not good at hiding stuff, at least to people who know my face well enough. to those that dont, i tend to show RBF apparently.

Who is the cleverest (crafty) person you know? i really dont know. i dont like crafts, or craft people lol, so i cant think of anyone in my life like that rn.

Do you think people who know a lot of facts are really smart? no. i think most folks know enough facts to be impressive.

Welcome! And you are? your mom.

When you buy/recieve new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? wash!

Do you hate using public restrooms? idk about hate. its necessary sometimes.

What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? pft i saw a meme of a walking stick that was a bull's penis, iirc.

Do you check to make sure there’s TP before using the restroom? ha! i wish.

Do you drunk dial/text? i used to, as if it was a pastime.

Why are mall Santas always portrayed as drunken, depressed old men? search me.

Have you ever built a massive snow fort? i dont think so?

What household chore do you loathe? i dislike dishes, theyre usually gross because the boy doesnt rinse his dishes properly before putting them in the sink.

Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? nope! only if the parents allow unrestricted access to their children, then yes. its like kicking your kid outside in the general public to fend for themselves. what do you think theyre gonna do? children are mischievous by nature, dude.

Would you care to meet Tom, the creator of MySpace? not really. i dont care lol.

Have you ever looked at a person and thought they looked like an animal? omg yes! i love telling my loved ones what kind of animals other people look like sometimes lol.

Do you use acronyms to remember things? yes.

Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? no. i dont like increasing tolerance to pain meds needlessly.

What would you do for a Klondike bar? i wouldnt.

Don’t you think Crocs are ugly? yes, i do think they are ugly. and disgusting. if i see someone wearning crocks period, i know their feet are rank as fuck. i dont care if youre wearing socks, those are fucking PLASTIC shoes.

When was the last time you went rollerskating? a couple years ago.

What trend do you hate right now? i never like trends.

Do you really follow trends, or just wear what you like? i wear what i want to wear.

How many times do you think you go out to eat each month? too many times! too much fast food!

Do you call people “dude” a lot? yeah lol, i call everyone dude.

Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? mikie was my favorite growing up because hes so food focused and funny. anymore, donatello, because purple is dope and hes the smarest guy.

Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? all of the above!

If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? psychology.

What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? thats a good question. kids say the darnest things.

At what age do you plan on moving out? i moved out over 10 years ago lol.

Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? yes. the crypt keeper from tales from the crypt namely. the ventriloquist doll from peewee's playhouse.

What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? the news is always sad lol.

Do you believe that acupuncture works? i think that if someone believes it works and they get it done and they feel better after, it worked. like most things, i think faith is required.

Have you ever been hypnotised? nope, but id like to try.

If you got expelled from school, would you continue your education? LOL sure.

How long does it take before you trust a person? good question. im hard of trusting these days.

Do you ever wish you had Jedi powers? duh lol. i wish i had anything superhuman.

Will we ever get to see Jack’s face (guy from Jack-in-Box commercials)? i dont care.

Would you kick it with Jay and Silent Bob? YES DUH.

Say…would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? sure.

Would a wax museum scare you or amuse you? SCARE. even pictures of wax figures creep me out.

What’s the first food you can smell when you enter the mall? its been a long time lol, i doubt i know anymore.

Have you ever made a time capsule? What did you put in it? i never have.

What would you do if your mom or dad read your diary/journal/blog? this has happened before lol. they took me to the hospital and i got held for 2 nights, mandatory for any check in, even tho the doctor told me that night that i was fine. idiot parents lol. dont read your kid's shit and NOT talk to them later. what the fuck.

Do you turn the music up when a good song comes on? DUH.

Do you know anyone with a lisp? probably.

Do you hate going to the doctor? no.

Why did the dish run away with the spoon? Why not the fork or knife? i dont care.

What is the worst hurt you’ve ever experienced? good question. in recent memory, when i was under so much stress and trauma that my body locked up and i had to go to physical therapy at the ripe age of 32 because my back made me cry almost daily.

Do you wish time went faster or slower? slower dude.

Do you write thank-you notes? for what? lol. i dont throw parties, i dont hold milestone events, none of that.

If you were to break a Guinness Record, which one would you try and beat? im just not interested. never have been.

Are you distracted by shiny objects? i mean, probably, i am an animal. but not for long.

What’s the coolest item in your room? HA! cool. probably my bed.

Are you grateful for what you have? i practice gratitude every day. im lucky it comes naturally.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? who cares.

Are you scared of clowns? uh, they make me uncomfortable, but idk if im scared…

Are you accident-prone? isnt everyone? nah, not more than anyoneelse.

As a kid, what was your favorite activity on the playground? shoot, just kicking it with the homies.

Are huge muscles gross or sexy? not my thing.

Have you ever fished and caught something weird? never fished in my life.

Your final thoughts…? ugh, why didnt more time pass?

#survey

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petri808 · 3 years

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Bakudeku canon divergent, vampire quirk AU

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24

When Bakugou finally woke up in the Ena City Hospital, his head was splitting worse than a punch from Kirishima in full quirk, and ears rang with the force of all 108 New Year’s bell tolls. If he’d had no memory of the night before, Bakugou swore he’d just survived the worst hangover in history. Even his eyes hurt from the bright, piercing fluorescent lights and they weren’t even open! He turned his head to the side, noticing how much effort it took just to shift in such a small manner. It was as if his body was drained of... “Ugh, that bastard,” he groaned. ‘Fucker bit me.’ And as if to add insult to injury, a pin-prick pain in his neck revealed itself in that revelation.

His arm flopped up, hand straining with jerky strokes, reaching to touch the fresh bite wound located at the junction of his neck and shoulder. He flinched at the tender, bruising pain that sent a shock down his spine. Son-of— This just in! Pro Hero Dynamite cast in one of those cliché vampire movies that went straight to video. Definitely not the career start he’d envisioned.

“Oh, good you’re finally awake Mr. Bakugou.”

“Who the fuck are you?” he spat at the male voice. “And can someone turn the fucking lights off?!”

“I am Doctor Ishihira, and my apologies,” the doctor flicked off the overhead light. “Is that better?”

“Yeah,” he grumped.

“Mr. Bakugou, you were found yesterday morning and brought in suffering from hypovolemic shock due to severe blood loss and dehydration. We’ve treated you with 3 liters of IV fluids and blood plasma to bring your numbers back up, however you’ll still be groggy until your body replenishes the nutrients you were stripped of.”

Over a day had passed! At hearing he’d been out cold for so long, Bakugou immediately clenched his fists, swearing up and down about being released until they threatened to sedate him for longer. Longer?! He begrudgingly relented and settled down, but damn it! That meant Midoriya had another head start on him again! And now that the man knew he was on his trail, finding him would be a lot more difficult!

“What the hell is hypo-whatever shock?” Bakugou questioned.

“When you were found, you were in and out of consciousness and rambling incoherently, all signs of severe blood loss. The fatigue you’re still feeling is also due to the effects of it. Luckily the amount of loss wasn’t enough to start shutting down your organs.”

The doctor continued explaining a few more details regardless of the tantrum like a robot. Minor injuries he’d been treated for. The obvious puncture wounds in his neck, questioning Bakugou about any description he could provide of his attacker. He wasn’t about to tell this doctor or any authority figure who the true culprit was, so he feigned a temporary retrograde amnesia. Based on a raised brow, peering over his glass’s expression, the doctor didn’t look very convinced. Oh well, Bakugou really didn’t care about the man’s opinion.

“Mr. Bakugou, we also called you parents…”

“You what?!” Bakugou tried to jump off the bed, but his body absolutely refused to respond and ended up flopping like a dying fish. Ugh! He really was worse off than he’d thought.

“I’m sorry, but you are a minor, so we were obligated to do so. However, they did give us permission to treat and release you on your own recognizance once we felt you were better.”

Well, that was good news. ‘Sounds like mom actually listened to my letter.’ Or the authorities surely would have shown up by now. “Ugh! So, how much longer am I stuck here?”

“If you continue to recover well, tomorrow morning.”

Fuck! Now a three-day head start! Just great, he groaned. Midoriya could get far away with that kind of a jump start. “Fine, whatever! Now go the fuck away.”

The doctor left the room after explaining how nurses will be monitoring his progress, but to also let them know if anything started to feel worse. They needed to know if he developed any lasting effects from organ damage. Once he was alone again, Bakugou rolled gingerly onto his side as his mind processed the new information. Whatever Midoriya had been hit with must be the cause of this weird blood thirst that resembled a goddamn vampire plot line. Perhaps the significance of the blood coloring in his eyes was a sign of that thirst taking hold? That’ll be a handy tell, too bad it seemed to appear within seconds of the next step.

But if Midoriya had just fed on a victim, and history showed at times, a span of days before the next incident, what had caused his friend to attack him so fast? Was this thirst like a hunger? And what happens when you exercise or exert yourself? You use up energy. ‘Duh, Katsuki.’ Fighting and expending all that energy must have triggered the attack. ‘Wow, it burns fast.’ That meant Midoriya probably struggled to control this thirst, and that’s why he was pleading for him to leave him alone. But sorry, he couldn’t do that. ‘Fucker shouldn’t have run!’ One way or another he is getting his friend back home where he belonged. In fact, this only made his drive to find Midoriya stronger because he felt like he was partially to blame for the predicament his friend was in. The guy had to be scared, freaked out, and lonely. Bakugou’s heart clenched at the thought. He knew his friend was a social person by nature who loved being around friends and family. To be stuck out here all by himself and too frightened because of whatever this new quirk was had to be horrible… and utterly not fair. Of course, he did have a tendency to isolate himself when he feared…

Bakugou groaned. “Kami, not again with this shit!” When was Midoriya gonna learn to stop running away!

As his eyes relented to the fatigue and his mind slipped back into unconsciousness, Bakugou could only pray he’ll get a lead as soon as he got out of this hospital. This strange new quirk, if that’s really what it was, posed a serious danger not only to Midoriya, but the public. The reputation of pro hero’s had taken a major hit already because of AFO and the league, so if the public found out about a blood drinking hero attacking people… ‘I gotta get you out of here…’

After his encounter with Bakugou, Midoriya had rushed out of town as quickly as possible. Tears poured down his cheeks as he took off into the sky from having given in to the lust of this uncontrollable quirk. But he couldn’t stop it even if he’d wanted to. He’d learned the hard way right at the beginning that once it took hold of his mind, the only thing he could do was give-in or succumb to an even worse ravenous state that literally hurt. The pain of holding out on the hunger made him feel like a starved predatory animal that tore at his insides until he relented. In this state, the blood of any creature that came too close became a meal. But it was never enough. Animal blood didn’t satiate him in the same way that human blood did. Plus, he worried that if he let it get completely out of control, he might just end up killing someone. So far, he’d been lucky to leave them all unconscious but alive.

It was obvious that the light AFO had hit him with contained this strange quirk. How ironic, to take down a villain, only to be turned into one. That’s how Midoriya felt. How else could he feel? A hero wouldn’t hurt other people, so by taking the blood of others for sustenance, that made him a villain. Therefore, he couldn’t be a hero anymore. It must have been AFO’s plan all along once he’d realized he was losing. The villains end goal was to ruin hero society and this was definitely one way to do it. Take out his primary rival. The man poised to carry on a torch of safety and security, and snuff out any who chose to do harm… The whole situation with Bakugou really turned this into a nightmare out of body experience. To see his friend’s eyes suddenly show fear, then fade away the more he drank… his mouth clamped to the man’s neck… it was a horrible imagine that was sure to haunt him. He could still smell the burnt cinnamon from such a close encounter. If only he had clothes to change into or even a pond to bathe in, because that lingering scent was gonna drive him mad!

Midoriya curled up and clenched his eyes shut tight in an abandoned and overgrown castle he’d found outside of Ena. It didn’t look like it’s been maintained for a very long time, so the likelihood of a human showing up seemed low. He knew he should have travelled farther away, but he was too tired, too upset and just wanted to quit. All the years of growing up quirkless, to gain OFA and become the very thing he’d dreamt of, only for those dreams to be dashed again. It was as if life just didn’t want him to be a real hero. Maybe he should just put himself out of his misery, and yet— he couldn’t do it. To die out here alone where no one knew where he was or what had become of him, that wasn’t fair to his family and friends…

They must be so worried about him right now. His poor mother didn’t deserve any of this. Would his friends look down on him now? And All Might, his idol, who’d taken him under his wing, was he disappointed? And that just left Bakugou. He’d said the truth in answering the man’s question. No, Midoriya never would have expected him to come looking. Katsuki Bakugou giving a damn about him? Yeah, right. Bakugou wasn’t doing this because he cared. There was always a selfish reason behind his madness. Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Shouldn’t big bad Dynamight be thrilled that his biggest rival was gone?

Okay that was a big, fat white lie he’d been telling himself for the last two years. He knew Bakugou had moved past those pettier behaviors, but it was simply easier to believe and keep their relationship as rivals than to hope his childhood friend would ever see him as something else. And yet… ‘Kacchan was genuinely surprised by my answer. Did he really come looking for me because he cared that much?’ Yet in what way? Why was the man trying so hard? Did he… ‘miss me?’

Midoriya shook his head violently of those thoughts. No, no, he didn’t want to believe that because it would make this situation even more unbearable than it already was! He’d already given up everything he’d ever loved. His hopes and dreams, a future and losing an affection he’d craved for years would just simply be too much.

#bakudeku #bkdk #katsudeku #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku canon divergent au #blood quirk #vampire quirk #bakudeku au #bakudeku fan fic #bakudeku fan fiction #decchan #ktdk #ch 6 #bloody passion #petri808

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plantwalkingamongstmeremortals · 3 years

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Hi :) for the ask challenge : 1, 4, 7, 11, 15, 21

Obviously you don't have to answer all of them unless you want to :)

1. How long do you hc the travel time between Divinity’s Reach and Lion’s Arch?

I am VERY BAD at time and distances to be honest, something like a couple weeks by foot sounds like a decent distance between two major cities (esp considering how much of kryta is western europe and that doesnt seem completely incompatible with real life western europe) but i have a lot of trouble picturing how much that is, and tbh i'd need to add hundreds of villages and quite a few minor towns in between anyway to get something that feels like RealityTM.

Funny answer is the game is 100% of the reality of tyria. You CAN do the one-hour walk between LA and DR. the whole world is smaller than france. Not what i believe but really funny to think about.

4. How much smarter than everyone else are Asura actually? Is it all just hubris and in the end they just have a better education system?

YES IT'S JUST HUBRIS. The "some species just are Better at x" fantasy trope definitely is rooted in real life racism and i hate it so i really believe that all differences are cultural (because the implications otherwise feel kinda gross). And considering how high and mighty they are about it, them not sharing the education and science cuz "nah you humans/sylvari/charr/norn definitely are too stupid to understand" makes sense, but hopefully with everything that's been happening, asura seeing others make super cool tech and stuff, they'll realize that everyone will profit if they share their knowledge on a deeper level >:3

7. How does an average Sylvari’s average day look like?

im bad at average help. more seriously they don't feel like they have a structured work day like we do (and i assume most other races do too bc that's the vibe they give. gotta work in the fields or make tech or idk what). Maybe the Socialist Utopia where they come give a hand at the Necessary Jobs for a bit (just thinking about how the dream might mean everyone Knows how most of those work?) and then just chill out doing the hobby they feel called to. Overall i think they have a lot of ~empathy~ and respect of other individuals' liberties so theres not much being forced on others and people can just vibe however they want without having to stress about paying rent or shit like that.

11. Are magic abilities learned or are people born with them? A combination of both?

Mostly learned i think! There might be some biological stuff that might help somehow, like how some people learn how to draw way faster than others, and some others struggle A LOT but if the world has magic, i'd let anyone learn to channel it! And I think the way gw1 works might support it, with all the profession trainers who teach us skills..... The captured elites might be some form of "i saw magic used this way, so i am learning from seeing my magic used against me"? I really feel like i'm making shit up on the spot im sorry but also what did u expect from this idiot /lh

15. A headcanon about a minor race, like Quaggan or Dredge.

theyre all perfect. thats it. (more seriously i don't have that many thoughts about any of them i just think we should Learn More). Oh and considering the prev question: yes a necromancer quaggan is a posibility. Baby quaggan walk, followed by corpses, i love ♥

21. Mallyck. Other Trees. Mordremoth’s blighting trees… Are the Sylvari not unique?

hhhh so i was a bit no when i saw the question at first but ive been Thinking so. LETS RECAP THE DATA WE HAVE.

Apparently a dev confirmed malyck did Not Come from a blighting tree during a live or on reddit or whatever i can't check ever gw2wiki source okay, which confirms that whatever the most complicated answer to the question i come up with is most likely true.

The wiki says the seed for the pale tree was a blighting tree seed stolen by Ronan but the source seems to be an artbook i don't have so idk if it's the wiki people extrapolating because i can't check. so first let's assume it's the case: NOTHING is stopping anyone else from having stolen a seed too and planted a tree and theyre all kind of cousins (sylvari/mordrem/other tree ppl) which is very cute and that feels like the most canon-compliant explanation of malyck bUT it's not fucked up enough to my taste so i'm gonna say (for the sake of argument at least idk which option is alex-canon yet) the pale tree came from just something else. Ronan and Ventari planted a lil gay tree and some sleeping mordremoth magic made it Alive (because we need plant dragon connection anyway (we couuld fuck that up but that sounds like too much work for now)) but there were too many good gay vibes so the tree ended up making overall nice and very gay plants. WHICH MEANS. there's nothing preventing sleeping mordremoth power to just vibe with trees that are supposed to be significant in other ways and awaken them to make lil plant beings.

Downside to all this is why haven't we seen them in HoT, BUT maybe they were too far away. Maybe a chaotic neutral quaggan planted a cactus in elona and mordremoth made choya because of that. Idk man.

#gw2 #long post #ask meme

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neechees · 4 years

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got recs for people who don't want to live in cities and don't have the resources to move countries? im disabled, cities are HELL on me for reasons i dont have space to discuss, so ive always wanted to move to the country w/ abt 10 friends and build a small self sustaining community. I recognize from ur sources now that thats colonialist and racist, but im in poverty and cant immigrate to somewhere where it wouldnt be, do u have recs for what i can do instead to accomodate w/o being colonialist?

I’m not sure moving to the Country to make a self-sustaining community is actually a good idea. What about rural life makes you think it’s easier, even if you plan to be “self sustaining”? Part of the reason I liked living in the city was because of ease of access to things (of course I’m also coming from an abled perspective on this). When you live rurally, you have to

have access to transportation in some way, meaning a driver and a vehicle OR your own, because half the time you’re miles out from things that you need

a gas station & possible auto repair or place to buy items you need somewhat nearby for said vehicle

once you have the previous two you have to ALSO drive everywhere to get things or for help. Living rural means you may not have quick, direct access to important things that being “self sustaining” can’t exactly help you with, like a hospital or dentist or psychologist or a vet for any pets, or a pharmacy, or a bank, or anywhere else you might need to do your everyday business. There’s also the offchance of things happening where being close to things like a retail store, a mechanic, a firehouse etc is helpful. Shit happens and sometimes its harder to get help with those things when you’re not in a city or a town. And I know you said you want to be “self sustaining” but like being near a grocery store or having access to even a corner store is extremely helpful. And driving longer to get access to those things means paying more for gas.

Like if you’re miserable in the city, I don’t feel like you’re gunna be happier in the country, you’re probably gunna be miserable some other way (or maybe even the same way) in the Country. Like I live on the rez next to the bush and I feel like most people romanticize rural life when they have no idea what it’s actually like, and sometimes it’s inconvenient and annoying. And if you’re disabled that’s something else to consider if you have any specific requirements or aids for that disability. Like moving to the Country might actually make things WORSE, there’s poor people in the Country too.

My own Mother, growing up, her family had gardened their own food on the rez, my Moosum and uncles hunted regularly for food, my Moosum trapped cougars and lynxes to sell their furs for money, my mom and aunties had to work as teenagers & some of them got welfare when they were able to. When my mom was young sometimes they would use their horses and a wagon to travel places instead of by truck, but even then my mom got into mechanics to try and upkeep the vehicle themselves. Before that my Kohkum was poor and THEY did the same thing and they literally lived in a Cabin my Moosum built himself next to the lake. They lived rurally and were as self-sustaining as they could have possibly been and they were still poor. Even when I was a kid there was like at least 15 of us living in one house with 5 bedrooms. I don’t really presently have any advice for you other than to not to it because I’m pretty sure trying to live in the Countryside isn’t actually the solution to poverty, but if anything might actually make things more inconvenient.

#but in general the rule of thumb I guess is to research whose traditional land you're on #and to see if there's any way you can help them #or live alongside them as an active ally #and not hindering any of their plans for soveriengty land revitalization etc #but everyone should do that anywhere #Anonymous

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gwasgy · 3 years

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Okay. So. Here’s an elaborate multiple days of brainstorming ideas as they come PracticalMagicnatural AU nonsense. Thank you.

- Bobby and Rufus would be the Aunts and they'd be bffs not siblings and would have Vibes but it would be... hm. This is not a Bufus story is what I'm saying.

- the Curse would be on the men and for the women they love of course (classic fridging :/)

- this works for Bobby, (Rufus,) John, and Sam. (Supernatural is bad)

- so this is where it's kind of. Hm. Bc Sally and Gillian are not one to one for either boy. Where Sally and Gillian BOTH have identities separating family and magic (family business), these ideas are inseparable for the brothers.

- alsooo dean and sam to BE dean and sam they would've had to be "raised" by john until they were at least near-grown, even if they had a home base at Bobby's house.

- John still kills himself with grief MAYBE but it's like /later/ and more through self destruction and revenge and alcoholism, leaving the boys to live their later teenage/early twenties in the Bufus household

- Azazel is the one killing all the Wives in this curse. And if they use The Resurrection Spell to bring them back, he is possessing them

- hmmmmmmmmm they need to still be hunters I think buuut what if. They also did witchcraft.

- Dean would cast the love summoning spell, making it so that he uses angel descriptors unwittingly or on purpose because he doesnt think angels are real and therefore cannot exist for him to fall in love with and kill (bc the curse)

- it would be fun and very cringe fail embarrassing for Dean if sometimes he thought about His Angel and accidentally occasionally prayed to Cas

- Anna could show up and be Dean's red herring

- Dean could be in an About to Die situation and think, as a joke or whatever, "fuck. I never even got to meet that hot angel chick that's in love with me," and Cas shows up (with wings bc hot), saves him, *handprints*, then leaves

- OR. There's a blinding light and screeching noise and Dean blacks out and wakes up with a handprint safe and sound

- Cas and The Guy From Practical Magic That's A Cop both bend the rules of their superiors for their person easily and pliantly. except for the initial pushback. Hm.

----

- it's weird bc in practical magic there's this whole vibe of I'm Done With Magic And You're Dragging Me Back Into This And Ruining My Life but sammy had gone away and rejected The Life THEN found the woman he loves and THEN tried to resurrect her mayyybeeeee wait wait wait it wouldn’t be Jess bc she isn’t evilll...

- DEAN would be the one with a bad boyfriend that they accidentally kill and have to resurrect... hmmmmm

- maybe it's like a Boy Best Friend of dean's like maybe he is on a hunt with Benny and he accidentally chops his damn head off and tries to resurrect him to cover it up

- and that fucks up something in the afterlife and Cas is sent to Fix The Problem of whatever the fuck happened to this guy's soul when they did this

----

- it's wonderful to think of the PTA mom shenanigans Dean and Sam could get into but I don't think that Dean would have any sort of kid in this besides maybe jack?

- I mean, it could be that Ben is still around and he was with Lisa but never Loved Her on principal, and left in time so the curse didn't fuck her up, but they're still friends and he will still pick Ben up from school sometimes

- I don't see how the phone tree could work into it but I don't think that it's necessary bc sam and dean and cas's version of this story does not and can not revolve around them being outsiders in their own community but overcoming it and accepting who you are and integrating into the community through girl power and witch magic

- BUT. the potential of sammy being possessed is yeah. It’s extremely. Yeah.

- They could have a nice bonding moment of I'm never gonna leave you you can do this like from Swan Song. Like Sally joining Gilly in the broom circle to help her while she’s being exorcised

- their brotherly bond is NOTHING like Sally and Gillian's, though. Like YES. they would no doubt help bury the body, but they aren't giggling about their love life under the covers together. They simply are not that type of girl

- also I guess there wouldn't be the tension of You're Ruining My Life That I've Constructed Just By Being Here between them.

- WELL.

- Dean WOULD say something shitty about cleaning up Sam's messes though. He is just that type of guy

----

- Dean can definitely be the one chopping and hacking at the rose bush and cas would DEFINITELY get distracted and heal him in the middle of his conversation with him

- Dean oh dean he and his close Boy Best Friends could totally fuck with the curse. Like-

- Dean: Oh my good friend Benny he’s the first person ive really allowed myself to get attatched to in a while but that’s fine! he can't die because i don't love or like him like that because he's a guy! Haha, I'm not gay! We are just guys being dudes just two bros hanging out :)

Benny: *dies anyway*

Dean: FUCK

- Sammy would totally make that new age witchy herbal shop that Sally had! that would be so fun. Also ft. periphery what the fuck is up with those people type locals

- maybe Rowena shows up still and Crowley is also there hmmmmm and Rowena teaches Sam magic stuff and it gets him to make the supernatural a part of his life again without having to do any hunting hmmmmmmm or it's just another tool in his arsenal and he just always deserves to have magic powers

- the supernatural ladies could work in the shop :) like Meg and Rowena and Ruby anndddd Alya :) Ava? The psychic hunger games MVP girl

- or all the kids work at that shop!! I miss those dang kids. Max, the twins, death lesbian, Jake, electric guy, and all them :)

- Rowena is like a witchy shop owner up in town that buys Sam's wares to sell in the city #CareerWoman #GirlBoss

- Jody and Donna can also hang out I guess. Since we're at Bobby's place

----

- Dean casts the love summoning spell after either Regular Heartbreak with Cassie, his first love, when he was 15 or whatever, OR after the behated Boy Best Friend death. Hmmmmmm

- it makes more sense for the story for dean to have someone die on him and apply to the curse. But I don't wanna kill Benny ):

- well I don't think he was ever In Love with Crowley or Benny like he was with Cassie (or even Lisa)

- when he was 15 or 14 and John was still around but had left him at the Bufus household he got hold of that love summoning spell and made sure it was impossible so he would never experience heartache again. He does so while crying teenagishly and 11 year old sam is like. Why the fuck are you summoning this weird monster girl to fall in love with you

- and Dean is like no no this kind of monster doesn't exist. Anyway they'd have glowing blue eyes and they're as big as a building and and they hear me whenever I call no matter far away

- Sam: that...... sounds like an angel, dean.

Dean, having already done the spell: WHAT. NO. NO IT'S NOT IT IS SO NOT LIKE AN ANGEL. ANGELS AREN'T REAL

- Cas in Heaven, a bunch of flower petals swirling around him: what the fuck is that. That's weird

- Cas like 13 years later when he sees a cajun zombie vampire demon: okay I'm already getting weird prayers from some guy down there I'm just gonna check that out

- by the time Cas gets down there they've killed it again and buried it and hmm

- It's weird because it's the opposite of Practical Magic here bc Cas is the one that needs to be believed about something supernatural BY dean

----

- what if they accidentally kill JOHN instead of a hot bf. Dean kills John bc John tries to kill Sam, and they panickedly try to resurrect him immediately

- yeah yeah yeah yeah and John, possessed by Azazel, gets killed again while still being possessed and is buried underground. There can still be a rose bush and frogs and whatnot

- I doon't know why Bobby and Rufus would just leave the brothers in their house if John was alive until then?

- Alright John's been missing for like 5 years and the boys have just been living there and assumed he's dead. Then he comes for Sammy bc Sam is Turning Evil or whatever and John's a huge loser about it

- so Bufus is like "you guys are acting insane and you aren't telling us what's wrong so we’re just going to leave and you're going to sort it out yourself." Like the aunts

- then, when cas shows up to track down the weird resurrected demon-possessed serial killer abomination Dean and Cas are EMBARRASSING like completely totally absolutely embarrassing cringe fail love where they can't talk normal with eachother and Cas keeps getting too close and staring but Dean forgets to tell him to back off or anything and he just stammers uselessly through thin dumb lies

- there aren't any children there to comically thwart Sam's plans to get rid of Castiel as he is investigating Dean and Sam but it could end similarly

- where Cas finds Sam making a small angel banishing symbol and is like "okay. You guys aren't to be trusted and you're doing something evil (and i don't understand what’s happening to me when i’m around Dean). I'm just straight up going to leave then" and boom he's gone

- the fight Sally and Gillian have right before Gillian gets possessed can play out pretty damn similarly with Sam and Dean, but it's a LOT different too

- like it's their DAD not some random serial killer bf. You can't choose your dingdang dad! So the part of "I cant keep cleaning up your messes" WHOSE MESSES who even says that to who whose mess could this even be

----

- Sam has a girlfriend that dies from the curse and it’s bc of being caught in the crossfire when Hunter Bullshit Happens. The Women of the Winchesters’ way. So he moves back specifically to get back into hunting and witchcraft to BREAK the curse hmmmmm.

- Much like Sally with Michael’s death. “I don't care what he comes back as. As long he comes back. Please do this for me. Please? Please? Please? Please?” :(

- I think Dean is an Of Course I’m Not Going To Fall In Love kinda character, like younger Sally before Michael. very pessimistic very self depreciating. He only confides his deepest darkest desires (to be loved simply and openly without fear of the Curse taking anyone. To be held and to take care of someone who will appreciate it) in his fakey fake pretend prayers to his imaginary angel (this turns out to be very cringe fail embarrassing when Cas shows up)

- Cas holds onto these prayers like Hallet (the cop from movie) does with Sally’s letter to Gillian, not knowing or understanding why he’s so fixated on them and why he can’t stop reading them/playing them back/listening in

- John… maybe he was pulling a Gordon and was killing all the psychic kids and was eventually going to have to kill Sam, and Cas was for some reason Put On The Case as an angel or was Allowed to Interfere or whatever bc it was fudging up God’s Plan

- and that’s how Cas justified being so fixated and taking notes on Dean’s prayers, like Hallet did with the letter. It was a good lead. It was about their father, and Sam seemed to be having psychic tendencies or whatever that could turn dangerous

----

- Okay okayokayokay so Sally and Gillian’s story is them escaping the ostracization they feel from the people in their physical regional community. The Owen’s family has always been outsiders, even before the curse came into being. They are persecuted for being witches (and sleeping around and being sexy).

- the sisters try to escape this either by just LEAVING: going to a place they can be themself without shame, or assimilating and abandoning a part of themself so that they can stay.

- the Winchester brothers are, I guess, ostracized by the hunting community because they are kept away from it and moved around a lot in the show. Okay okay okay okay okaywaitwaitwait

- Okay so the Winchesters feel alienated from both civilians and the hunting community, and they both eventually choose to do similar things to Sally and Gilly..! Sam LEAVES and assimilates, while Dean stays and just accepts his role his father gave him.

- Gilly and Sam LEAVE, while Dean and Sally STAY. Gillian and Dean embrace what makes them Different, while Sally and Sam reject it in favor of Being Normal

- The witchcraft/hunting thing especially doesn’t mesh well here though because Hunting is KILLING it’s literally murdering sentient beings. It’s war propaganda it’s desensitizing you to Even Though The Enemy Is Capable Of Good Individually They Are, As A Group, Evil And Should Be Slaughtered.

- Witchcraft in Practical Magic is just… a way of life that’s considered outside the accepted norms of society. It’s being openly queer, it’s being from a different country of origin, it’s being non-christian religious in a small town. Accepting witchcraft doesn’t have any moral good or badness, it’s just with or without the consequences of being “out” in your area. While accepting Hunting as a lifestyle is to accept putting yourself in bodily danger doing morally ambiguous/BAD things to protect people you can’t relate to or find a community in. Hmmmmmmmmmm

----

- Sam and Sally both have natural talents/instincts but don't want to use it in favor of being "normal"

#literally all i want to think about.#spn #my posts #like this is Just For Me but GOD.#if theres thoughts or feelings to be had please let me know #practicalmagicnatural #it ends in a whatever kinda way but let me tell you. This is not my final thoughts on this #pmn

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padfootagain · 5 years

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The King And You (IV)

Part 4 : Pizza

Here I come with a brand new chapter for this Caspian fic!! I hope you all like it!!

I shamelessly stole a couple of ideas from the movie Kate & Leopold that I love so much. If you know the movie, I'm sure you'll recognize the references.

Caspian is still very confused and he needs a hug, the poor thing...

Word Count : 3345

He was back in your flat, and it was a rather strange feeling. For one thing, because it was where you had knocked him out and he had been arrested. For another, it was the perfect reminder that he had no way to go back to Narnia right now.

He had decided that he would deal with the issue the next day. For the moment he was famished and exhausted. He still had a little bit of food in his bag, and he would welcome even your floor to lie down and sleep for a few hours. The next day, he would try to find the Pevensies.

The sky was as dark as ink, filled with glimmering constellations Caspian didn't recognize. Lampposts shone through the streets, along with the headlights of the cars crossing the streets, their strange mechanic roars deafening to him. Despite the late hour, the city was still full of energy. It was not that surprising for New York, obviously.

He awkwardly stood in the middle of your living room, not knowing what to do next. He couldn't recognize several objects set against your wall, one of them looking like a large black mirror of some kind. Books covered shelves on the left wall of the room next to the window, and he felt grateful for the familiar sight, although he didn't recognize the style of the books and the material used for many of the covers. For sure though, they were not made out of leather…

"Sit down if you'd like. I'll get the pizza order… is there one you prefer?"

Caspian had no idea what a pizza was, so he preferred to not contradict you. He assumed it was food, but he was far from certain.

"No, I do not. Just choose what you would like best."

You gave him a confused and yet half-amused smile.

"You're talking funny. Why's that?"

"I… I don't know."

"Are you making fun of me?"

"Of course not. I would never dare."

You opened your mouth to question his sincerity, but opted for a shrug instead. Nothing in this day was making any sense, and at this point you had given up on trying to understand the whole situation.

You called for a pizza, while Caspian was still trying to take in his surroundings, and failing for the most part. He patiently waited for you to finish whatever you were doing, and didn't dare to imagine the reason why you were talking out loud in a tiny box… you even seemed to be in conversation with that box…

For a moment the thought crossed his mind that maybe you were mad. It was easier, if just for an instant, to consider the entire world had gone crazy instead of admitting that he was the one crumbling. But the thought vanished like specks of dust scattered by the wind.

He found himself on the verge of tears again, and had to look away from you to hide his wet eyes. He was more terrified and lost and confused than ever before. But worst than anything, he couldn't see any solution. He couldn't merely call for an adviser this time. He couldn't walk through the castle in search for Reepicheep to get his point of view. No, instead, he was on his own…

He clenched his jaw to hold back the salty droplets that threatened to escape and wet his cheeks. Instead, he tried to clear his head. Fear was a tidal wave now, and he had to try and keep his head above the water, no matter how many times he would come close to drowning. He thought about his people, his kingdom. Narnians and Telmarines alike needed him. He had worked so hard to create a better world there, he couldn't give up now. He could never give up. All these innocent souls were his responsibility, and he wouldn't let them down, not for as long as he would draw breath.

He told himself one more time that he merely had to find the Pevensies, and the thought didn't fail to slow down his pounding heart. He wouldn't be alone then. He didn't think that they would know how to send him back, but they would help him, guide him, and make sure that everything would be alright. He would have help again. He wouldn’t have to worry about where to sleep and how to find food… they would help him with this world full of foreign objects and magic devices.

He took a deep breath. He simply had to find the Pevensies, and it would all be alright. How would he do such a thing? He didn't know for now, but he reckoned that he was too exhausted and too much on the edge of total breakdown to consider the question for tonight. It would have to wait for the dawn. For now, he just wanted to eat something and rest. He didn't have to worry about finding a place to stay in this strange land thanks to you, and he reckoned that it was enough planning for one night.

"Okay, we should get dinner in about 15 minutes," you chimed as you put your phone down on the coffee table before him and sat down on the sofa, joining the King. "While we wait, why don't you tell me who you are exactly and what you were doing in my bedroom. And I would very much like to hear the real story, this time."

He didn't flee your stare but his gaze was far from confident nonetheless, wondering what to answer. He couldn't simply tell you the truth, you would never believe him. How could you? He didn't even believe in it himself. His brain was still unsure if he was simply having the worst of nightmares, or if he really was in another world. He didn't even know if you were real yet.

"I told you, I was looking for my friends and…"

"Then you don't need me, and can just get in the right apartment," you interrupted him, crossing your arms before your chest.

He could read in your piercing stare that you weren't buying it. Not any of it. You were too clever to be fooled by his lies, and he knew it.

What to do then?

"I…"

He looked for the right words, but were there really even any right words to be spoken under such circumstances? Was there a way to express what couldn't possibly be imagined?

He could hardly blunt out of the blue that he was the king of a realm in another world, could he? And yet he couldn't lie either.

"I… I'm lost," he spoke softly, slowly, his voice hesitant, but not because he was looking for a strange story this time, simply because he didn't know how to articulate his ideas into a logical explanation. "I'm… I don't know how I've arrived in this town, and I am trying to find my friends. Maybe they can help me go home."

You frowned. He didn't seem to be lying, but then, you weren't exactly a lie-detector on two legs, were you?

"What do you mean by that? That you don't remember how you came here?"

"I… I don't know how I've arrived in your city. But now I cannot find the way to leave it and go home either. Which is why I need to find some people to help me get there again."

"Can't you just take a train? Or a plane? And how can you not remember how you came? Did someone give you LSD or something?"

Caspian had no idea what you were talking about whatsoever, and by the way his stare went all blank, you couldn't fail to notice it.

"I… I don't know," he carefully answered.

"Where do you come from?"

"Very far away."

"And where is that?"

"Just… you don't know the place."

"I've always been pretty good in geography."

He shook his head, but could read on your face, by the way your jaw clenched ever so slightly and your eyes narrowed a little, that you were losing your patience. So, he eventually answered. It couldn't be too bad… you would simply not recognize the name.

"Narnia."

And indeed, you frowned hard, but couldn’t find where this country could be.

"Where is it?"

Caspian's brain raced again as fast as it could.

"It's… an independent kingdom. Very little. Very far from here. It is quite hard to get in. We like to live by ourselves."

"Are you making all this up?"

"No, I am not."

Well, after all, he wasn't completely lying, was he?

"Why can't you go home?" you asked, choosing to move the subject to another direction.

But Caspian here again didn't have any answers to give you. Or are least, none that you would accept. So he chose to terminate the conversation.

"It doesn't matter, not to you. Tomorrow, I'll go and look for my friends again, and I'll be fine, and you can forget all that happened."

"Try not to go through the wrong door again, huh?" you teased, and he couldn't refrain a little smile.

"I am so terribly ashamed and sorry for what happened."

"Let's not mention that again. I've hit you on the head, so I guess we can say we're even."

You both chuckled.

"Actually, have they done something for your head?" you went on, studying his forehead and noticing in the blink of an eye the traces that remained staining his skin of dry blood. "I've hit you quite hard."

"They give me what I needed to clean up the blood, I am quite fine, thank you."

"I should take a look… I have some disinfectant, hold on."

You stood up and disappeared for only a few seconds before coming back with everything you would need to clean the cut you were sure to find under his hair, along a few sticking plasters just in case.

"May I?" you asked, nodding to his hair, and he held his long locks up for you to see his forehead completely.

Indeed, above his temple, right at the base of his hairline, there was a little cut, barely more than a scratch. Nothing serious, you reckoned, but you cleaned it up anyway, making him wince as you pressed the disinfectant against the wound.

"Sorry, I know… these things always hurt."

"I am quite alright. Thank you."

You couldn't help but notice how dark his eyes were now that you had the occasion to look at them from up close. You noticed the single freckle under one of them. You noticed how smooth his hair seemed to be…

You shook yourself. You were NOT finding this stranger that gave you the fright of your life attractive. NO! Y/N, get yourself together!

Gosh… these dark brown eyes, though… You could have lost your soul in them…

"So… hmm… Caspian," you stuttered a little, tripping on your words because of how deep and intense his stare was. "How are you going to find your friends?"

"I… I am not sure," he admitted, and fear and sorrow seemed to drown his gaze again, much to your displeasure. "I will try something tomorrow. I don't know for you, Lady Y/N, but my day was full of enough adventures for one journey of the sun."

You giggled.

"Lady Y/N? Are you serious? Gosh, you almost sound like the character from a book or something… Jane Austen's type of Regency extreme politeness."

"Is it a bad thing, my Lady?"

You could feel the heat spreading through your face, and he did notice that you seemed a little uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"There's no use to call me Lady… no one calls people like this nowadays… they haven't for a while. What are you doing that for?"

"I… I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you."

"Offend me? Well, here's another weird thing I haven't heard in a while."

You were interrupted by someone knocking on your front door, and guessed that the pizza was already there. While you disappeared again, Caspian tried to compose himself for what was to come. What kind of magic could a pizza be? Maybe it was an ancient spell. Maybe it was a weapon… What could he do to defend himself then? For sure, his sword was still by his side, hidden under his long cloak, but what good would his blade be against your foreign weaponry? He had seen the police weapons, and didn't dare to guess what their powers were. They seemed to be long-distance weapons, considering the way the officers had pointed them at him. Maybe some kind of advanced bows and arrows. Well then, he would struggle with a sword to say the list. Was that the name of these mysterious weapons? Pizza?

You were back in no time, carrying a large but thin box in your hands that you put down on the table between the two of you. And when you opened the top, Caspian couldn't stop himself from raising a surprised eyebrow.

It looked like… food?

You took a slice and then a bite, nodding in approbation as you chewed on the pepperoni pizza. Caspian couldn't refrain a relieved sigh. You had bought food for both yourself and him, and he felt guilty for the ill thoughts that had darkened his mind just a moment before. He had doubted your good intentions, but now he could see that you didn't intend any harm. In this strange world, how hard it would be for him to lay down his trust for anyone. But maybe… just maybe… you had earned a little of it tonight.

You noticed that he wasn't eating though, when you were already almost done with your first slice.

"You don't like pepperoni? You told me to choose…"

"I'm sure I will like it," he politely smiled.

"Well… dig in then."

He thanked you with a nod and picked up some food, using his fingers just like you had done. An amused smile crept up through your lips. This man was definitely the strangest guy you had ever met.

Caspian first took one careful, tiny bite. He recognized some ingredients without difficulty, and altogether, he quite liked the taste of it. The second bite was more confident, and the ghost of a smile curved up his lips ever so slightly.

"Are you going to tell me that you had never had pizza before?" you asked in an astonished tone.

"Indeed, it is the first time I taste this food, but it is quite good."

You let out a nervous laugh.

"Wow… you…" you let out a sigh, deciding to change the subject of the conversation. "What do you do for a living, then?"

What could he answer to that… he could hardly say he was king, could he?

"I… work for… the government of my… realm."

"Realm?"

"Realm. Yes."

"Narnia, right?"

"Yes."

"And what do you do for your government? Or is it a little secret?"

"Yes, yes!" Caspian seized the perfect excuse to not answer the question. "It is quite… sensitive. I can hardly say much about it."

"Why are you dressed like that though?"

"What's wrong with my clothes?"

But the second the question passed his lips, he found it rather stupid. He merely had to look at you, dressed in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, that for him seemed all but familiar. Of course, his own clothes were quite out of fashion here.

"I…"

But you suspiciously narrowed your eyes at him, and he fell silent, waiting for you to speak first.

"Are you an artist or something? Like… are these clothes for a play?"

That was as plausible as any other explanation he could have given you, so Caspian decided to unashamedly roll with it.

"Indeed."

"And you play a diplomat? Like a… renaissance period drama?"

"Indeed!"

"Why didn't you just say so!" you asked with a loud wave of laughter leaving your throat that sounded quite relieved. "It's less scary than what I had imagined you could be! You're just… a weird actor staying in character 24/7, not a serial killer! Why didn't you just say so?"

He shrugged.

"Well… my profession is not always regarded with kindness, so I preferred to leave you in the dark on that part."

"Really? Even now? Gosh, I thought the world had evolved enough away from that. I mean, just look at the movie industry and all that…"

"You would be surprised," he mumbled, hoping that his words fitted in the conversation, but you nodded in a silent understanding, and he guessed that it meant that he had spoken well.

"Why are you always in character though?"

"I… just need to do so."

"Where are you playing? And then… hang on a minute… that all story about you being lost and Narnia and all, it's in your play?"

Caspian wondered what by Aslan's name had happened in his brain to make him think that pretending to be an artist was a good idea. He didn't even like plays that much, he much preferred songs. But that was not the point, and he forced his mind to work at full speed in an attempt to find another explanation… any explanation… something!

"I am truly lost," he answered with wary and carefully chosen words. "And I do need to find my friends to find my way back home. The rest… yes, it is in the play."

"Right…"

He was strange. The weirder person you had ever met. You reckoned that this was for now his predominant characteristic, far above his good-looks and good-manners… and his very sexy British accent as well. Was he faking this as well, or was he really from the other side of the ocean?

You reckoned you wouldn't really learn anything about him, and you knew that you should have been afraid of someone like him. And yet… yet for some reason – and I promise that it has nothing to do with me, your favourite narrator, it all comes from your heart – you couldn't find a way to feel threatened by him. He seemed so fragile…

There was a short silence, and Caspian decided to take the conversation into his own hands. It would help him avoid more questions, after all.

"Do you live here on your own? Or… maybe your husband will be back soon?"

You snorted.

"No husband, thank you very much," you shook your head, swallowing another mouthful of pizza. "I'm single. And living here alone."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Sorry? Why?"

"I… I don't know."

He bit his tongue. Maybe for this world, a woman living on her own was normal.

"Do you work then? If you live alone."

"Of course, I work," you suspiciously narrowed your eyes at him again. "Why… are you one of these sexist guys?"

He raised a hand in a soothing gesture.

"That was not what I meant. What do you do for a living then?"

"I'm a painter."

"Oh, how impressive! You must be very talented! I was never even able to draw as much as a tree."

You chuckled.

"Well… I'm good enough to pay my rent, I can hardly ask for more."

Without the two of you noticing, the pizza had slowly disappeared from its cardboard box, and it seemed that your meal was over.

"I'll give you enough money to pay for a taxi tomorrow, so you can go wherever you need to go," you smiled, standing up and picking up the pizza box. "I'll get you a pillow and blanket so you can sleep on the couch."

"Thank you again for your kindness and hospitality."

An amused smile appeared on your lips.

"Why do you stay in character talking like that?"

But you disappeared with a giggle, and he reckoned he had done good enough for tonight.

Tomorrow would be another day, and he could only hope it wouldn't be worse than this one. But then, how could it be worse?

**************************

Taglist : @ponycake27 @horsesreign @xinyourdreamsx @jbluevelvet @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss @stuckupstucky @snek-shit @suchatinyinfinity @i-padfootblack-things @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi @presstocontinue @ilmiopiccolounivers0 @madamrogers @drinix @sad-orange-thoughts @mxrihollxd @geeksareunique @giggleberts @sad-orange-thoughts @aylinnmaslow @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla @drinix @joelynnp @wearetalkingtoyou @mxrihollxnd @rockintensse @cutie-bug @purplocity @rockintensse @newtstarmander @shinebrightlikeafanbase @millionsleeplessnights @goldenor5 @raquelbc2003 @marvelcapsicle @carolinesbookworld @roses-in-your-country-house

#caspian #caspian x #caspian x reader #caspian fanfic #caspian imagine #narnia #narnia fanfiction #narnia imagine #imagine #fanfic #writing

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thewritingstar · 4 years

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Ah well were all at home better ask all 200 questions g, don't really know much about u

200 QUESTIONS???? ALRIGHT HERE YA GO.

hope you enjoy me spending an hour answering all of these :)

200: My crush’s name is: N/A 199: I was born in: 2000 198: I am really: nice 197: My cellphone company is: idk 196: My eye color is: Hazel, can turn dark brown or light green sometimes 195: My shoe size is: 8 194: My ring size is: 7 I think 193: My height is: 5′3 192: I am allergic to: penicillin 191: My 1st car was: Toyota 190: My 1st job was: Baskin Robbins 189: Last book you read: Suicide Notes (highly recommend) 188: My bed is: galaxy bedding and is currently on the floor in my bed fram cause my friends broke it... 187: My pet: Black cockapoo and a white cockapoo named Abby and Molly 186: My best friend: is a hoe 185: My favorite shampoo is: herbal essence color me happy 184: Xbox or ps3: I perfer Wii, Wii U or Nintendo switch 183: Piggy banks are: cute, Mine is a ducktales cup 182: In my pockets: nothing rn 181: On my calendar: nothing rn 180: Marriage is: a good thing but not a necessity for a happy life 179: Spongebob can: get it 178: My mom: is a queen 177: The last three songs I bought were? i only buy cds for my car so: Lover, Hozier, Blink 182 176: Last YouTube video watched: The Office deleted scenes 175: How many cousins do you have? 8 but I only see four of them and two of them are adults with kids so i consider them more of aunt and uncle figures 174: Do you have any siblings? One older sister 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope 172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope 171: Do you play an instrument? Nope 170: What did you do yesterday? Sat on ass and watched youtube

[ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: ye why not 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: yes 166: Yourself: kinda 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: mmmm yes i guess 163: Hell: yes 162: God: uhhhhh yes and no, kinda indifferent 161: Horoscopes: yep 160: Soul mates: yesss 159: Ghosts: ye 158: Gay Marriage: WHO THE FUCK DOESNT BELIEVE IN THISS?? ITS REAL 157: War: think it does more harm than good 156: Orbs: ye 155: Magic: ye i wanna be a wizard

[ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: drunk, i dont do drugs and i dont drink yet but ill prob get drunk 152: Phone or Online: oo i use both but Online i guess 151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair 150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes 149: Hot or cold: HOT 148: Summer or winter: Summer 147: Autumn or Spring: Both 146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla 145: Night or Day: Day 144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: I have straight hair but curly hair is also beautiful 142: McDonalds or Burger King: BURGER KING..I HATE MCDONALDS 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: MILK 140: Mac or PC: Pc 139: Flip flops or high heals:...High heels prob 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: SWEET AND POOR, IM ALREADY UGLY 137: Coke or Pepsi: NEITHER 136: Hillary or Obama: obama 135: Burried or cremated: cremated 134: Singing or Dancing: love both but maybe dancing rn 133: Coach or Chanel: Coach 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idk who they are 131: Small town or Big city: Big city, i grew up in a small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: TARGET 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam 128: Manicure or Pedicure: Mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: DISNEY 123: Yankees or Red Sox: eww sports

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War:....does more harm than good 121: George Bush:....dont know enough to say but im pretty sure he was an awful human 120: Gay Marriage: It should just be called marriage, just because you’re gay doesnt make it any less or any more, its equal to other marriages 119: The presidential election: 118: Abortion: Pro Choice, no one has the right to tell someone what to do with their body 117: MySpace: i never used it cause i was too young but i bet it was lit 116: Reality TV: its funny af 115: Parents: are nice if they care about their child but if they are abusive or horrible then they dont deserve respect 114: Back stabbers: should be stabbed 113: Ebay: its nice 112: Facebook: full of idiots and boomers 111: Work: a scam 110: My Neighbors: they fine 109: Gas Prices: A SCAM 108: Designer Clothes: a nice but really $200 for socks, no mama 107: College: SHOULD BE FREE 106: Sports: fun but no one needs to make that much money for throwing a ball 105: My family: i like them 104: The future: is wild and idk at this point

[ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: my mom like a few days ago 102: Last time you ate: at 11 today! 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: 100: Cried in front of someone: my mom after i yelled at her 99: Went to a movie theater: i saw Onward when we were allowed outside 98: Took a vacation: went to disneyland last October 97: Swam in a pool: like almost two years sadly 96: Changed a diaper: when i was like 8 95: Got my nails done: never got them done because my mom wouldnt take me cause i was a ‘tom boy’ 94: Went to a wedding: never 93: Broke a bone: when i was three, my big toe 92: Got a piercing: my nose in January 91: Broke the law: i guess i sped the other day 90: Texted: literally as im doing this

[ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: my friend 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: the silence of being alone 87: The last movie I saw: Princess and the Frog 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Moving for college 85: The thing im not looking forward to: 84: People call me: Deanna (real name), Dean, Star (what yall call me) ton of others 83: The most difficult thing to do is: idk 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: 79: First time you had a crush: Ive had 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: my best friends 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my friends over ft 76: Right now I am talking to: no one 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully being an animator 74: I have/will get a job: at disney 73: Tomorrow: doing nothing 72: Today: doing nothing 71: Next Summer: hopefully not on quarantine 70: Next Weekend: nothing special 69: I have these pets: 2 doggos 68: The worst sound in the world: ICE SCRAPING OR MOUTH BREATHING 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: 66: People that make you happy: my friends 65: Last time I cried: few days ago 64: My friends are: my world 63: My computer is: a Dell 62: My School: is a community college 61: My Car: it goes 60: I lose all respect for people who: are bigots, dehumanize people, republicans 59: The movie I cried at was: Onward had me sobbing 58: Your hair color is: Brown rn 57: TV shows you watch: theres too many 56: Favorite web site: tumblr or youtube 55: Your dream vacation: every disney park 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: i think when i cut my finger or when i went to the hospital for my chest 53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium rare 52: My room is: disney themed and my safe zone 51: My favorite celebrity is: Tara Strong 50: Where would you like to be: Disneyland 49: Do you want children: ehh maybe 48: Ever been in love: nope 47: Who’s your best friend: my neighbor that ive known since i was 4 46: More guy friends or girl friends: more girl 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: making cake 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: my cousin 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: ye 41: Have you pre-named your children: kinda 40: Last person I got mad at: my mom 39: I would like to move to: La 38: I wish I was a professional: animator

[ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: Kitkat 36: Vehicle: Cars 35: President: 34: State visited: California, Nevada, Texas, Hawaii, 33: Cellphone provider: 32: Athlete: n/a 31: Actor: Colin O'Donoghue 30: Actress: Lana Parrilla 29: Singer: Joe Jonas, Taylor Swift 28: Band: Big Time Rush 27: Clothing store: Hot topic, Ross, 26: Grocery store: Safeway 25: TV show: Once Upon A Time or PPG 24: Movie: Princess and the Frog and Ratatouille 23: Website: tumblr 22: Animal: elephant 21: Theme park: disneyland 20: Holiday: Halloween 19: Sport to watch: hockey 18: Sport to play:..i do not play 17: Magazine: i dont read mags 16: Book: Kingdom Keepers 15: Day of the week: Friday 14: Beach: one i went to in Hawaii 13: Concert attended: Jonas Brothers 12: Thing to cook: chowmein and strawberry shortcake 11: Food: Chowmein 10: Restaurant: my fav Chinese restaurant 9: Radio station: I don’t listen to the radio 8: Yankee candle scent: Vanilla 7: Perfume: Vanilla 6: Flower: Rose or Larkspur 5: Color: Black or blue 4: Talk show host: umm i dont watch many but i guess Jimmy Fallon 3: Comedian: Jaboukie Young-White or John Mulaney 2: Dog breed: Pomeranian 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ye

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loretranscripts · 5 years

Text

Lore Episode 3: The Beast Within (Transcript) - 6th April 2015

tw: murder, rape, death of children, bodily mutilation, cannibalism, graphic descriptions of violence, ableist language, disease, werewolves

Disclaimer: This transcript is entirely non-profit and fan-made. All credit for this content goes to Aaron Mahnke, creator of Lore podcast. It is by a fan, for fans, and meant to make the content of the podcast more accessible to all. Also, there may be mistakes, despite rigorous re-reading on my part. Feel free to point them out, but please be nice!

Ask anyone in the mental health profession about full moons and you’ll get a surprising answer. They’ll respond with something that sounds incredibly like folklore and myth. The full moon has the power to bring out the crazy in people. We’ve believed this for a long time. We refer to unstable people as “lunatics”, a word that is Latin. It’s built from the root word luna, which means “moon”. And for centuries, has operated under the conviction that changes in the luna cycle can cause people to lose touch with reality. Just ask the parents of a young child and they’ll tell you tales of wild behaviour and out-of-the-ordinary disobedience at certain times of the month. Science tells us that just as the moon’s pull on the ocean creates tides that rise and fall in severity, so too does our planet’s first satellite tug on the water inside our bodies, changing our behaviour. As modern people, when we talk about the full moon we tend to joke about this insane, extraordinary behaviour. But maybe we joke to avoid the deeper truth, an idea that we are both frightened and embarrassed that we even entertain. For most of us, you see, the full moon conjures up an image that is altogether unnatural and unbelievable. That large, glowing, perfect circle in the night sky makes us think of just one thing: werewolves. I’m Aaron Mahnke, and this is Lore.

Science has tried many times over the years to explain our obsession with the werewolf. One theory is a disease known as hypertrichosis, sometimes known as “wolfitis”. It’s a condition of excessive, unusual body hair growth, oftentimes covering the person’s entire face. Think Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf. Psychologists actually have an official diagnosis in the DSM IV handbook known as “clinical lycanthropy”. It’s defined as a delusional syndrome where the patient believes they can transform into an animal, but the changes only take place in their mind, of course. Delusions, though, have to start somewhere. Patients who believe that they are Napoleon Bonaparte have some previous knowledge of who he was. I think it’s fair to assume that those who suffer from clinical lycanthropy have heard of werewolves before. It’s actually pretty easy to bump into the myth, thanks to modern popular culture. Werewolves have been featured in, or at least appeared in, close to 100 films in Hollywood since 1913.

One of the earliest mentions of something even resembling the modern werewolf can actually be found in the 2000-year-old writings of the Roman poet Vergil. In his Eclogue 9, written about 40BCE, he described a man named Moeris, who could transform himself into a wolf using herbs and poisons. About 50 years later, Gaius Petronius wrote a satirical novel called, appropriately, Satyricon, which I think is basically the equivalent of Stephen King writing a horror novel called “Frighticon”. In it, he tells the tale of a man named Niceros. In the story, Niceros was travelling with a friend, and when that friend suddenly took off his clothes, urinated in a circle and transformed into a wolf right before his eyes, before running off toward a large field of sheep. The next day, Niceros was told by the sheep-owner that one of the shepherds stabbed a wolf in the neck with a pitch fork. Later that day, Niceros noticed that his friend, now returned to the house, had a similar wound on his neck.

In the Greek myth of the god Zeus and an Arcadian king named Lycaon, Zeus took on the form of a human traveller. At one point in his journey he visited Arcadia, and during his time in that country, he visited the royal court. The king of the land, Lycaon, somehow recognised Zeus for who he truly was and tried, in true Greek form, of course, to kill him by serving him a meal of human flesh. But Zeus was a smart guy, after all, and he caught Lycaon in the act, throwing the mythological equivalent of a temper tantrum. He destroyed the palace, killed all 50 of the king’s sons with lightning bolts, and then of course cursed King Lycaon himself. The punishment? Lycaon would be doomed to spend the rest of his life as a wolf, presumably because wolves were known for attacking and eating humans, and he tried to serve human flesh. Most scholars believe that this legend is what gives birth to the term lycanthropy: lukos being the Greek word for wolf, and anthropos, the word for man.

Werewolves aren’t just a Greco-Roman thing. In the 13th century, the Norse recorded their mythological origins in something called the Völsunga saga. Despite their culture being separated from the Greeks by thousands of miles and many centuries, there are in fact tales of werewolves present in their histories. One of the stories in the Völsunga saga involves a father and son pair: Sigmund and Sinfjotli. During their travels, the two men came across a hut in the woods where they found two enchanted wolf skins. These skins had the power to change the wearer into a wolf, giving them all the characteristics that the beast was known for: power, speed, and cunning. The catch, according to the saga, was that once put on, the wolf pelt could only be taken off every 10 days. Undeterred, the father son duo each put on one of the wolf skins, and transform into the beasts. They decided to split up and go hunting in their new forms, but they made an arrangement that if either of them encountered a party of men over the certain size of seven, then they were supposed to howl for the other to come join them in the hunt. Sigmund’s son, however, broke his promise, killing off a hunting party of 11 men. When Sigmund discovered this, he fatally injured his son. After the god Odin intervened and healed him, both men took off the pelts and burned them. You see, from the very beginning, werewolves were a supernatural thing, a curse, a change in the very nature of humanity. They were ruled by cycles of time and feared by those around them.

Things get interesting when we go to Germany. In 1582, the country of Germany was being pulled apart by a war between Catholics and Protestants, and one of the towns that played host to both sides was the small town of Bedburg. Keep in mind that there were also still outbreaks of the Black Death, so this was an age of conflict and violence. People understood loss – they had become numb to it, and it would take something incredibly extraordinary to surprise them. First, there were cattle mutilations: farmers from the area surrounding Bedburg would find dead cattle in their fields. It started of infrequent, but grew to become a daily occurrence, something that went on for weeks. Cows that had been sent out to pasture were found torn apart. It was as if a wild animal had attacked them. Naturally, the farmers assumed it was wolves, but it didn’t stop there. Children began to go missing. Young women vanished from the main roads around Bedburg. In some cases their bodies were never found, but those that were had been mauled by something horribly violent. Finding your cattle disembowelled is one thing, but when it’s your daughter or your wife, well, it can cause panic, and fear, and so the community spiralled into hysteria.

Now, we think of historical European paranoia and we often think of witchcraft. The 15th and 16th centuries were filled with witch hunts: burnings, hangings, and an overwhelming hysteria that even spread across the Atlantic to the British colonies, where it destroyed more lives. The Witch Trails of Salem, Massachusetts are the most famous of those examples, but at the same time, Europe was also on fire with fear of werewolves. Some historians think that in France alone, some 30,000 people were accused of being werewolves, and some (hundreds, they say) were even executed for it, either by hanging or being burnt at the stake. You see, the fear of werewolves was real, and for the town of Bedburg, it was very real.

One report from this event tells of two men and a woman, who were travelling just outside the city walls. They heard a voice call out to them for help from within the trees beside the road, and one of the men stepped into the trees to give assistance. When he didn’t return, the second man entered the woods to find him, and he also didn’t return. The woman caught on, attempted to run, but something exited the woods and attacked her. The bodies of the men were later found, mangled and torn apart, but the woman’s never was. Later, villagers found severed limbs in the fields near Bedburg, limbs from the people who were missing. It was clear that something horrible was hunting them.

Another report tells of a group of children playing in a field near the cattle. As they played, something ran into the field and grabbed a small girl by the neck before trying to tear her throat out. Thankfully the high collar on her dress actually saved her life, and she managed to scream. Now, cows don’t like screaming apparently, and they began to stampede. Frightened by the cattle, the attacker let go of the girl and ran for the forest, and this was the last straw for the people of Bedburg. They took the hunt to the beast.

According to a pamphlet from 1589, the men of the town hunted for the creature for days. Accompanied by dogs and armed for killing, these brave men ventured into the forest and, finally, found it. In the end, it was the dogs that cornered the beast. Dogs are fast and they beat the men to their prey. When the hunters finally did arrive, they found the creature cornered. According to the pamphlet, the wolf transformed into a man right before their eyes. While the wolf had been just another beast, the man was someone they recognised. It was a wealthy, well-respected farmer from town named Peter Stubbe, sometimes recorded as Stumpp. Stubbe confessed to it all, and his story seemed to confirm their darkest fears. He told them that he had made a pact with the devil at the age of 12. The deal? In exchange for his soul, the devil would give him a plethora of worldly pleasures, but like most stories, a greedy heart is difficult to satisfy. Stubbe admitted to being a, and I quote, “wicked fiend, with the desire for wrong and destruction”, that he was “inclined to blood and cruelty”. Now, to sate that thirst, the devil had given him a magical belt of wolf skin. Putting it on, he claimed, would transform him into the monstrous shape of a wolf. Sound familiar?

He told the men that had captured him that he had taken off the belt in the forest, and some were sent back to retrieve it, but it was never found. Still, superstition and fear drove them to torture and interrogate the man, who confessed to decades of horrible, unspeakable crimes. Well-known around the town, Stubbe told his captors that he would often walk through Bedburg and wave to the families and friends of those he had killed. It delighted him, he said, that none of them suspected that he was the killer. Sometimes he would use these walks to pick out future victims, planning how he would get them outside the city walls, where he could, and I quote, “ravish and cruelly murder them”. Stubbe even admitted to going on killing sprees simply because he took pleasure in the bloodshed. He would kill lambs and goats and eat their raw flesh. He even claimed to have eaten unborn children, ripped straight from their mothers’ wombs.

The human mind is always solving problems, even when we’re asleep and unaware of it. The world is full of things that don’t always sit right with us, and in our attempt to deal with life we… rationalise. In more superstitious times it was easy to lean on old fears and legends. The Tuberculosis outbreaks of the 1800s led people to truly believe that the dead were sucking the life out of the living. The stories that gave birth to the vampire mythology also provided people with a way to process Tuberculosis and its horrible symptoms. Perhaps the story of the werewolf shows us that same phenomenon, but in reverse. Rather than creating stories to explain the mysteries of death, perhaps we created the story of the werewolf to help justify the horrors of life and human nature. The tale of Peter Stubbe sounds terrible, but when you hold it up to modern day serial killers, such as Jeffery Dahmer or Richard Trenton Chase, it’s par for the course. The difference between them and Stubbe is simply 400 years of modernisation. With the advent of electrical lights pushing away the darkness and global exploration exposing much of the world’s fears to be just myth, it’s become more and more difficult to blame our flaws on monsters. The beast, it turns out, has been inside us the whole time.

And Peter Stubbe? Well, the people of Bedburg executed him for his crimes. On October 31st, 1589, (Halloween, mind you) he was given what was thought to be a fair and just punishment. He was strapped, spread eagle and naked, to a large, wooden wheel, and then his skin was pealed off with red hot pinchers. They broke his arms and legs with the blunt end of an axe before finally turning the blade over, and chopping off his head. His body was burnt at the stake in front of the entire town, and then his torture wheel was mounted on a tall pole, topped with the statue of a wolf. On top of that, they placed his severed head. Justice, or just one more example of the cruelty of mankind? Perhaps in the end, we’re all really monsters, aren’t we?

Lore was produced by me, Aaron Mahnke. You can find a transcript of the show, as well as links to source material, at lorepodcast.com. Lore is a bi-weekly podcast, so be sure to check back in for a new episode every two weeks. And if you enjoy scary stories, I happen to write them. You can find a full list of my supernatural thrillers, available in paperback and ebook format, at aaronmahnke.com/novels. Thanks for listening.

#lore podcast #podcasts #aaron mahnke #werewolves #peter stubbe #germany #peter stumpp #vergil #eclogues #serial killer #folklore #transcripts #3

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ecessive-dreamer · 5 years

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Title.

He sees her passing, bags of chanel in each hand, yet her head is still wrapped in a book as she walks, glancing up to the street every two minutes. He froze when he thought she saw him, walking straight toward him. Her head was still in the books, “Oh my, I’m so sorry” Luna says as she bumps with him head to head,her book landing flat on the ground.

Luna mutters,“Donovan?”

he takes a deep breath, she looks so beautiful, her skin as pale as winter snow, almond green eyes,and black luscious hair. Recounting every moment spent with her, tracing the outline of her lips, memorizing her face, and yet here she is standing in front of me and i'm still in awe of her.

“what are you doing here?” i ask her as nonchalant as possible while i pick up the bags that landed on the floor.

“Oh you know how i am on weekend sales..wow i haven't seen you in ages” she says as she eyes him, looking at his slightly crooked nose, ocean blue eyes and disheveled dirty blonde hair. Same old Donovan she thought.

“Well yeah of course how could i forget” I say as she turns away, blushing. Recounting just like him all the days they would walk hand in hand, at each and every single store and just like that the sharp pain returns, and the haunting memories come back. He destroyed her. It's been five years, but five years isn't enough. She manages to grab all her bags, as he hands her the book.

“Ah, you still read british literature huh? I guess some things don't change” I say. Her smile fades as fast as it appeared. I look at her with such intensity in my eyes

“My reason for life. Not living, but life. That was the touch. And she was his reason for life, and why he must survive” her breath catches

“ I’m sorry i have to go.”

“Luna, wait. It's from your book, atonement!” I yell as she crosses the street, away from him. He takes out the pack of cigarette that's been itching to be smoked all day. She brings that out of him, after all this time, seeing her face, smelling her scent, hearing her voice. He needed her again, and he was going to have her.

*Beep beep beep* i roll over my bed, it's 5:00a.m. i sit up “shit” as my feet hit the cold wooden floor. I forgot to turn on the heater last night. I put on my socks and roll on my hoodie as I walk to the thermostat and turn it from 50 to 70 in my small studio apartment. I walk to the kitchen and start my routine. I turn on my coffee while simultaneously brush my teeth. I hop in the shower as my coffee is getting ready. As soon as I stepped out of the shower I wipe away the fog on the mirror and look at myself. Ive lived here for years and still haven’t made any progress. Still the same apartment same job same remorse. Hell even the same coffee, as I realize the coffee is still on and rush to my kitchen. Pour a cup, black. I put my work clothes on and head out the door with my coffee.

It gets me everytime, everytime I walk out of the front door of my building that im actually living in new York city. I cant imagine anywhere else I want to be. Way better than my town back home. Yeah sure I miss my family and what not but being on my own is what ive always wanted. I walk my 6 blocks to work thinking about yesterday; I actually saw her. Its been months of almost nothing. The only time ive seen her was in pictures and memories that would be occasionally sparked by an object that reminded me of her.

I walked into the building of my job. I do journalism for a small time newspaper company. Same job for 7 months and still no raise. Its nothing to complain about I make enough for me to live comfortable but yet I still feel like my time is more valuable.

As I make it to the 4th floor, my floor my boss is always the first to greet me as his office is right by the elevator door. “morning don” he says, “morning murphy, hows it going this morning” I return. He replies with a big sigh, “ sales haven’t been so well so its causing us to do alittle remodling of who we have here.” “oh?’ I replied with a nervous voice hoping I wasn’t being given the talk about being let go. He laughs “don you have nothing to worry about, though im glad I keep you on your toes this early in the morning.” “I need you to show around the new intern, shes a possibility at a new columnist here and I want you to take close attention to her to see if she is going to be an asset to this company”, he asks. I reply with a uncertain tone,” I don’t know murphy I have this article ive been working on and I don’t know if I can afford the extra baggage.” He replied to me with a stern face,” it wasn’t a question” and as soon as I noticed his face I quickly replied with a smile on my face “no problem boss.” He looks back with a artificial smile on his face,” great shes in your office. Her name is tiffiany. You know like the diamond.”

I walk to my office which is completely on the opposite side of the floor. As I walk into my office I knock on the door. She turns and looks at me with a grin. The first thing I notice was he hair. Golden not like a dumb blonde kind of look but almost a los angles kind of blonde where he hair is almost as bright as the sun. she was short but not to short maybe around 5’3 which is short for my abnormally tall figure. I reach my hand out to greet her as she does the same. “hi im tiffany. Ive heard allot about you.” As my hand meets her hand I realize how soft her skin is which causes me to gently squeeze her hand. “heeee” I reply. She looks back at me with a puzzled face. I have no idea why words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.“ hi im Donovan but you can call me don. Im sorry for coming across as an idiot I have no idea why my mouth wouldn’t work.” She laughed, “its okay I have that affect on people sometimes” she said with a joking tone. I grin” wow a since of humor that’s something your gonna lose working here” she laughed. Her laugh was cute. “so im gonna be working with you?” I asked her. “yeah I guess your stuck with me but its only a month so your gonna have to bare with me.” “a month? Oh no I don’t know if im going to be able to do it” I said. Her smile went away. “oh im sorry I just was joking” I said. She started to laugh, “ wow cute and sensitive, maybe ill have to stay longer than a month.” We both looked at eachother and smiled knowing that there would be no problem working together.

After a week of work I head home on a Saturday night. On my walk home I get a call from my buddy david I haven’t spoke to him in weeks hes been busy with his schooling. “hey man whats up?” saying answering the phone. “hey you still live on the upper east side right?” he asks. “yeah” I reply “well im in town and wondering if you wanted to get some drinks or something?” he asks. “hell yeah, where at?” I ask him. “meet me a napoleons bar? Ill order you a beer” he says. “alright man see you in a few” i say as I hang up the phone.

I walk into napoleons and see dave. He raises his beer up to get my attention. I walk over and we embrace eachother in a hug. “whats going on man” he asks. “same shit just a Saturday” I reply. He laughs, I ask him the same “ whats going on man”. “well for starters im a month away from graduation” he says. “congrats man im proud of you, next round is on me” I tell him in an exciting voice.

Weve been sitting catching up for hours and have had enough beer and bar food for me to be sick for months. He asks,” hey man I know it’s a touchy subject but what ever happened with you and luna?” I look and reply with the most honest answer I could think of,” things just didn’t work out. He looks at me and says,” he man that’s too bad I know you really liked the girl but shit happens, hell look at me im not even done with college and already divorced.” I look at him and he looks at me and we both laugh, “yeah but I started working with this new girl and I don’t know I shes kind of funny” I tell him. “oh yeah? Tell me about her” he asks. I tell him ”well shes kind of an asshole but she has a sence of humor, she has nice hair and big blue eyes. Hell she can even write too.” “you like her?” he asks. “ no man I just work with her” I say. He looks at me with a face that says “really?” he says “ come on man you wouldn’t have brought her up if you didn’t ask her out man” he does have a point but im not sure maybe I just need to focus on work plus I don’t think im quite sure for anything yet. The conversation dies down after a couple more beers and we both say our farewells and part ways.

Its Monday all over again. I wake up make the coffee take a shower but something is urging me. Im actually excited to go to work. Im putting on clothes that give me confidence. I leave out of my apartment and make it to work 15 min early. I walk past murphys office saying ,”morning boss.” He replies with “good morning” but I walk past him and am almost on a mission to my office. “hey don” she says, I reply “ good morning tiff.” She looked great this morning. I don’t know what it was about her. The way she smelled the way her hair was tied up in a bun or maybe it was just the way her hair shined back at me as the new York gloomy day approached. “hey tiff?” I ask. She replys with a speedly “yes?” “ would you want to go out with me sometime?” she looks at me with a puzzled face. I realize what I just asked and I say “ im sorry im not sure what came over me. I don’t know its just a new week and” she cuts me off in the middle of my rant, “what time would you like to pick me up?” I look in shock, surpisingly I got this far. “um after work maybe we could grab a bite to eat?” I ask“ id love that” she replies.

After the work day we both leave together and I take her to this little Italian place a couple blocks from work. All I can think to myself is how well it went. How well it was kept going. After dinner I called a cab for her and payed him to take her to her house. Before she got in the cab she kissed me. Just a peck, I was caught almost by surprise. She says “ thank you I loved tonight and hope it can happen again” I replied “ me too, and id love too. Was that you asking me out?” she laughs “ yes but you cant tell anybody” she gets into the cab and we both say goodnight.

I walk into my office. Its tiffs last day, but I have a pitt in my stomach cause im not quite sure where this leaves us. Her and I have been going out more frequently and it seems to get more serious. Im not sure what to think of all of it but I guess I might just have to find out. I get out of the elevator and walk to my office. Tiff turns around and sees me, “hey hun she runs up and hugs me, you know what today is right?” of course how could I forget” I reply as I walk past her and sit on my desk. “hey? You okay?” she asks. I respond shrugging my shoulders “ yeah im alright” she sees the worry in my eyes. “is this about us?” she asks me. I look at her as she looks at me. “yes it is” she says. “talk to me” she says. I look at her “ what are we going to do? Like tiff honestly I have feelings for you and im not quite sure how were going to go with you leaving” she looks at me and smiles “ hun just because im leaving this job doesn’t mean I plan on leaving anywhere out of your life” I look back at her and smile as she looks at me. She walks over and sits on my lap and says “ lets go out tonight and celebrate, a new chapter of things”. I smile “ I have to decline I have to finish this article for tomorrows paper but ill tell you what, tomorrow night sounds excellent. Only if your free?” she looks at me and says “of course im free, sounds like a plan”.

I get off of work late, its raining. I look at the time and its almost 1am. I start my walk home. On my walk home I cant think about how much im grateful for how things are turning out in my life. I mean hey just a couple months ago I felt like I had no direction in life but now I feel like I might be moving forward. I

I walk into my apartment with my soaking coat and hang it up on the hook. I turn my heater up and start to change into my sleep wear. Right as I hit my bed I hear a knock on my door. “ who could be here this late?” I think to myself. I walk to my door peep hole and peer through all I see is a women with her hood up. I open the door and as soon as I opened it I can feel me stomach in my shoes. “luna?” I say in a muttered voice. “hi Donny” she replies. “what are you doing here?” I ask. She looks at me “I was out and just happened to stop by I figured you would still be up. The late sleeper I remember you as” She says to me. “yeah I just got off work and was getting ready to hit the sack” I tell her “ oh im sorry I was just looking for someone to talk to I can go if youd like.” She responds. “ no come in ill make some coffee” I respond. She comes in and sits down I stand in the kitchen and start to make coffee. “Nothing has changed about this place huh?” she says over the coffee being brewed. “nope not much, I barely spend time in here anymore” I tell her. She looks in a surprised look,” oh out with your girlfriend all the time?” she said in a sarcastic but serious manner. “actually yes well I mean you could call it that, and work” I told her. “oh?” she says,”hows work going?” I knew she was beating around the bush but who was I to call it out. “ works great actually ive been moving up in the chain and really enjoying my work” I told her. “enjoying work who are you? Is this even Donovan?” she says in a joking way. I laugh as I hand her the coffe,”yeah you can say I guess im moving in some kind of direction but who knows if its right or wrong.” She laughs,” and there he is Same old downer Donny I remember.” She says laughing. “how about you, whats miss luna doing with her life?” I ask. “well ive finally become a published writer and im actually on my way to getting my doctorate in british literature.” She tells me in such detail but I start to unvoluntarely ignore as I start to get lost in her brown eyes. We continue catching up throughout coffee and end up staying up all night.

My alarm for 6 am goes off and I realize that I have work. As I go to turn it off I walk back into the room and lune is standing by the sink rinsing her cup. I cant help but remember every morning waking up and seeing her standing there making our coffee in on of my oversized shirts of mine. After all this was our first place. I look at her the way I used to look at her and she turns back and looks at me. I walk to her and she walks towards me and there seems to almost be a silence in the city of new York. All I can pay attention to is her. We walk so close to eachother that I can feel her breathe on my neck. We both move in slowly and interlock lips. We kiss, for the first time in almost a year of not talking and it feels like the first time I ever layed my lips on hers. It felt like nothing else mattered. Like everything was oblivious to this moment. We move to the bedroom and without a word being said our clothes seem to disappear and both move slowly into the bed that we picked out together. Everything became nothing and nothing became everything. The way she looked at me was the way I was staring at her. A year soon collapsed into nothing. Hours felt like minutes and the day soon fell to night.

The next day I woke up and she was laying on my arm. I had this overwhelming guilt. It clouded over me. I notice my phone on the table. I pick it up and have new messages. They are from tiff,” hey haven’t heard from you all day. Hope your okay? Lemme know about dinner.” I hit my hand to my face “shit I had dinner with her last night and I missed it” I thought to myself. Im sitting on my couch and feel a hand reach over my shoulder to my chest and kiss my neck. “goodmorning” luna said. I stand up and look at her breathing heavily. “ why?” I ask her. She looks at me with a questioned face. “why does everytime I feel like things are moving in a direction that I like I take 10 steps back with you” I tell her. She looks at me “Donny I miss you” she says. “you didn’t miss me. You didn’t miss me when I saw you in the street and ran away from me. You didn’t miss me when I woke up one morning and you were gone for reasons I still don’t know. Why did you have to come back?” I yell. She looks at me with a tear rolling down her face and says “im gonna go” I immediately realize what I say and regret every word that came out of my mouth. Its too late to take it back I know who luna is and she wont forget that ever. I stand back as I watch her leave for the last time. As she walks out of the door I fall to the ground in tears realizing that the only person ive truly loved I pushed away.

Tiffinay and I are moving all of my stuff from one apartment to our next. Its been 6 months since she left and tiff still doesn’t know she exsists. As im finishing cleaning out my bedroom I notice a book laying in my drawer in my room im never seen before. Theres a sticker on it that says “for you, love luna.” I look at the book and realize there is a writing on the inside that says “our story.” I turn back and take one final look at the apartment as I close the door to that chapter of my life.

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sagenivydragonfly · 6 years

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🌌Wolf Child🌌

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Not having a family is harder than you think. Having to watch other children receive presents and hugs from their parents. Its the little things, like watching families ice skate or seeing then get icecream and the laughing. Its the laughing that bothers me the most. I don't think I've really laughed in my entire life. I've tried before. What came out was a ghost of happiness, of real joy. Just an eery sound that brought a shiver to my shoulders and uneasiness to my mind. My hands clung to the cold rails of the ice rink. I couldn't afford to go in. I just watched no money. No anything. Just the clothes on my back. Id managed to swipe them from a donation bin. Tan skinny jeans and boots two sizes to small. The only thing I liked about my clothes was my coat. A blue denim jacket lined with fleece and little yellow buttons with matching yellow pockets. The boots dug into my toes almost telling me what everything told me, "You've been here too long, No one wants to here. Time to leave. I gazed at the families holding hands one last time and walked away. I don't know where I was going. Just away.I was adopted and for a short while I had a family. My parents dumped me when was 10. Id always had issues with anger. They decided it was a good reason to get rid of me. Parentless again. Ive been living on my own for a while stealing and begging for food and clothes. Im not old enough for a job being 12. So until then im here. I was knocked out of my daze by a sign. The town line. Id walked too far. Ahead of me was forest. I stood for a while trying to figure out where to go next. For some reason I walked forward. So dumb. I noticed the trees slowly getting darker their leaves were harder to make out individually. I keep walking. Suddenly I snap out of it and realize what Ive done. Nightfall. I can barely see my hand in front of me. I panic. I don't know the way back let alone where I am. I can hear my heart pounding I run. My breathing ragged. I need to get out. Faster faster! I push on. Miles and miles, the sheer force of adrenaline and will to live forcing my body on. I feel im about to pass out. Then out of no where Thump! I hit something! Wait something hit me! Im on the ground now. Looming over me is a form. I hear a growl and from above something wet and slimy drips onto my face. The gaping maw closes over my shoulder. I claw and scream hit and kick but im too exhausted to fight anyone "No! No! No..."I let it consume me I pass out.

I hear sounds but they sound faint and watery my head feels like its under water. I try to move. My head throbs. I groan. I force my eyes open. I look up. Trees are above me and I hear birbs chirping. Where am I? This isn't the city. I sit up dizzy and disoriented. Im in the spot I was last night. I jolt to attention. That thing...from last night what was it? Was it real was it a dream? I move my arm and yell out. My coat is on the ground next to me my shirt is torn. I move the fabric to expose a few scabbed over punctures in my left shoulder. It was defiantly real. I try to stand up. I wobble. "Ugh" I gather my coat and put it on. At least I still have this. I pick a direction and I begin walking. My stomach growls. I haven't eaten in 2 days. Maybe ill starve. That wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I stop. Leaves are crinkling. Its not me. Something runs near, only a few trees away. I can't see through the thickness of the forest. Fear. I dash off. My hunger overtakes me. Im not as fast as before. Im weak and tired. I have nothing left. I stop. Keeling over and wheezing. I almost choke my guts out breathing so hard. Finally it doesn't hurt to break I stand up. No. I look straight into the eyes of a Grey wolf. I freeze. No where to go now. Nowhere to hid. A deer in the open. Almost begging to be eaten. He doesn't move. I look panic in my eyes. He doesn't look angry but he doesn't look away. A menacing stare. Could melt ice with that gaze. I look away. He sits. I try to slowly back away. He growls. I stop. He stops growling. I sit. We look at eachother. Im confused on what to do and scared about being eaten alive. He yawns. I being and idiot scoot towards him. He cocks his head. He doesn't know what I am. I wonder what hes alone. Hes not the biggest wolf but hes not small. Hes dark grey with black guard hairs. Yellowy amber eyes cunning and sharp. But something about his eyes now are soft and inviting. I suddenly want to touch his fur. I reach my hand out. He looks at me and does nothing. I begin to lower my hand. He shoves his muzzle into my hand. Im shocked. Hes soft. I gently pet his muzzle. I look at his eyes again. He respects me it seems. Im still going to be careful. We spend the rest of the day walking and sitting infront of eachother. I wonder why he didn't eat me in the first place. Was he lonely? Im lonely. Wheres his family. Its dark again. Im scared. What is in this forest. I instinctively grab onto him. He makes a noise. A nonthretaning noise. I rest my hand on his back and let him lead. We come to a clearing. I think he sleeps here. There's a tree with a hole at the base. He leads me there and I follow him inside. The floor is dirt and smooth. He turns around 3 times and curls up in a corner I do the same and laugh. I cover my mouth. A real laugh. Im astonished. A wolf made me laugh. I giggle and close my eyes, drifting to sleep.

Morning. The birds are chirping again. I look for the wolf. Hes standing in the clearing. He needs a name. So do i. I sit next to him and study him. He sniffs some Wild Thyme. "Aha!" he looks up questioning me. I point at him "Thyme!" he sniffs the thyme again. My stomach growls. He runs off. I get worried. I wait 30 min. He comes back with a squirrel. He sets it down infront of me. I look at him. Im silent for a few min. I finally give in a start tearing of chunks of meat and stuffing it on my mouth. There's barely any taste. But food is food.

Over the next few days Thyme and i become good friends. He hunts and I spot his prey from up in a tree. Thyme gave me a wolf name it kinda sounds like "Aaaaaru!" I laugh all the time now.

Years have passed and I still live here. Ive outgrown everything except my coat an pants. Im 15 now old enough to work. Thyme showed me the way back to the city a along time ago. I never wanted to go back. I say goodbye and that ill come back.

I walk down the main street. Things have changed. Its been 3 years after all. I go to the donation box. I freeze. There in the pile is a fuzzy wolf hat with paw gloves attached. The same color as Thymes coat. I snatch it immediately. "Hey.Hey!you can't take from there!" I don't even see whose yelling. I ran before I could look i put it on my head. Im homeless anyways. I ran to the other side of town. Sliding down the wall onto the ground I sit. "Hey you." I turn around. "Youre fast" "me?" she nods. "Thanks?" I nervously reply. "You got the legs on ya that you could deliver my baked goods to the customers in the knick of time! Would ya like a job missy?" "uh...Oh! Yes yes definatly!" "Come on in then! Oh by the way what's your name?" Oh crap I don't have one. "Uh...uh...Aaru?" she nods. I take a deep breath and begin a normalish life.

It has been a year since I last saw Thyme. I went back a month later but he wasnt there. I walked the whole forest and he was gone. I screamed the name of my best friend and brother and only family as loud as I could. Nothing. Now I walk through that forest for the millionth time. I sit by the clearing and the tree with the hole. I rest my weary legs. I hold my arms out and cry pretending he was there. I felt him but it wasnt real. I cried into his fur and sobbed against his chest. I opened my eyes. I stared into the eyes of my old friend. He was missing a part of his front leg, he was covered in battle scars and he looked like he had been to hell and back. I didn't care. I had my family. But I hadnt even begun to realize what happened to him. Finding out may be to gruesome

For now we wait in eachother arms. Two wolves

A family

🌌A pack🌌

I really worked hard on this so if anyone reads it im so happy, but also surprised cause its suuuuuper long aaa 🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌

#art #traditional drawing #dragonflykit #books #wolves #wolf child #writing #writers

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comradecrossing · 6 years

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hi do you have any tips/recs for someone who’s just starting new leaf? i had it a long time ago but i stopped playing, and now i want to start playing again but i don’t remember it well 🙈

Hi! This might be long but! When I restarted this last time I was worried it would get boring real fast like with my first save, so I planned out as much as I possibly could ahead of time.

Think of a theme that makes you happy! Do you love witchy/fairy things? A specific color? maybe a season? particular villager animal? Aliens??? If you can figure out a theme you can build around (and it can be ANYTHING) then you will have much more confidence when you first step foot in your new town!

Now I’m gonna use my town as reference, so, I really like the Witchy/Fairy aesthetic and I knew immediately thats what i was going to do. I’m bad at town names, but i like Pokemon and remembered they have a fairy town, so I looked it up and got my name and figured why stop there? That’s how Laverre City became one of my sole inspirations for my town. I was inspired to restart because of hackers so even though I cant hack, I think about things I might like to do, or really want to do when/if i ever can and i have some big ideas lol im so sad. So ultimately i settled on a fall themed town (not perpetual fall but looks best in fall and the dreamcode will be of the town in fall) with lots of pink cosmos and regular saplings to give off a resemblance to Laverre City :)I then looked at a lot of forest and dreamy type towns to get some inspiration like mushroom rings, layout ideas, and items or PWPs to use. I also checked sites like animal crossing wikia to make a list of PWPs I might like in my town and chose 30 possible options (you can only build 30) and check the space requirements.

Once I start for real with a vague idea of where I want to put things I look at all the maps available and if they don’t have specific traits i want (secret beach, desirable town tree location, diving cliff, ponds in places that wont get in the way of projects and landscaping ideas, good spot for the cafe, etc) I restart until a map comes up that I like. Once I arrive in town its time to check my native fruit and rock locations and make sure its up to my standards, and if a resident is important for you to have/not have make sure to check the map too!

Once you get a town you’re happy with and you’ve found the perfect place to call home its time to get serious >: |It’s time for your first shovel and axe.Now, I have always been anti-axe in previous games but this last save changed me. I got a hold of that first axe and chopped down every tree that wasn’t a southern cedar tree! (southern cedars are only possible at the start! If you plant them they’ll only grow in the North, thats the top half of your town.) Now your town will feel barren at first and this is the ugliest stage but also one of the funnest -imo- so lets open up your patterns and get started. Now that you have a blank canvas use your green & blue tiles to signify trees/bamboo and bushes, you can even redesign it and write “T” or “B” respectably and start laying them out. You can also use the Yellow to lay down where you want PWPs (make sure to surround two spaces further than the project requires. a 3x3 fountain should look more like a 5x5 area to ensure no one moves directly next to where you want to build). You should have lots of fruit piled up (remember to stack them) so you can layout bush tiles and plant fruit if you’d rather have a better idea of how its gonna look. I planted all my peaches and would later go back and replace certain ones with new fruit i acquired. Its good to have a “this is all a process” mindset because it will take a while to get your town done even if you time travel, but thats good! because the game is all about making your dream town!

So now you have a good amount of the town planned out and probably have some ideas of what to do next. The next few days will be spent checking out how things are growing and making sure you planted things in the right spots. if there’s anything you’re not liking - change it! Your town Your rules!

Now while you are waiting for things to grow and get pretty its time to gather aaaaaallllll the flowers you can find and organize them in a large free space so they are all diagonally touching (XXXX), this way you can get hybrids early on :)Make sure they are the same breed and check hybrid guides so you know which colors work best to make the hybrids you most want and make sure to water them everyday as they will wilt if you don’t have the beautiful ordinance. Hybrids are good to have for trades when you dont have much money.

After all this you should be off to a pretty good start. Try to keep in mind villagers you would like to have and try to make friends online or IRL that you can adopt from (I always post when i have some one leaving and who I am hoping to replace them with and I usually get an offer fairly quickly, even for villagers I was desperate to get out. No matter who they are someone likes them :)) But if your town is set up in a way that you’ll be devastated if your dreamie moves in that one perfectly made up spot, it might be a good idea to plot set &/ reset.Plot resetting is when you make a *NEW* character save to check and see if anyone moved in overnight, and more importantly, if they moved in an undesirable place. If this happens restart and select the new save option until the villager plots in a spot you like. Once they do that build your tent somewhere and save quit. This will make the new residents spot permanent and then you can select the new save once more and delete their home. This could take quite a while if you have lots of “open” space. “Open Space” is how I refer to non-tiled/pwp or house occupied areas and the way I go about this is covering my town in about 75% tiles and spacing out pwps to where there are as few places houses can plot in as possible. Houses wont build over tiles and will plot at least 2 spaces away from other buildings, rocks and projects and one away from clifs and ponds/rivers. They dont care however if there are trees, bamboo, items, bushes, or flowers so be sure to lay out tiles in any place at risk to being plotted on. I refer to this as “Plot Setting” as you can make 3x3 empty plots you surround with tiles which will help villagers know where to plot. If you do a good job and plot everything out just right, you’ll never have to worry about someone messing up your hard work.

Now here’s the kinda sucky part of ACNL and that is The Limitations.Annoying programmed rules that seem to only get in the way such as the 2-space rule between pwps/buildings. This can mess up your aesthetic a lot and sometimes you will have to completely replan things due to a small fact you may have overlooked or not noticed and suddenly your garden isnt looking right so im gonna name off the biggest hassles and how I have gotten around some of them.

Bush + tree + bush: You can line up 12 trees/bamboo and bushes in a line. This works both straight and diagonally. only 12. Now you can leave gaps in some places that will reset the count or do intricate designs like one cedar in the middle of 4 bushes, a line of bushes with trees spaced out directly behind, a pattern of bushes and chopped bamboo, etc get creative. Visiting others towns or looking at pics people post can help you get lots of ideas. Bushes can touch each other but trees & bamboo still have the one space between rule.

PWP 2-space rule: now I’ve already mentioned this a few times but this rule is always the one that I seem to forget when planning. YOU NEED TWO SPACES. I cant tell you how many times i have planned project locations weeks in advance only to not be able to lay them out as i wanted because I got the space requirement wrong or only left one space between other objects :/

Beach Rules: You may have seen cool towns with pwps, cedar trees and hibiscus bushes scattered around their beach and Ive got some bad news; Those are hacked towns. The only thing that can be planted on the beach naturally is coconut and banana trees, flowers, and clovers. Nothing grows on the beach, not even weeds. No pwps can be built there either, even though it was initially programmed to be possible. I currently use the space for hybrid breeding since i have no space to elsewhere ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tear Down and Build Up: I will say though that even though only maybe 15% of my original plans came to life, my town looks way better than i had ever imagined it would. Don’t be afraid to tear things down and try out different locations or setups you might figure something out that looks amazing compared to your original plans.

Finally, while you can participate in the Happy Home Ratings, you dont have too. Decorate how ever the flip you want. Find new things to do everyday as the game can get old fast and you might get temped to Timetravel (which isnt a bad thing if thats what you want to do, but be careful you dont lose your villagers/flowers! Even though I have the Beautiful ordinance, I water all my flowers incase they pop out a hybrid. I try to earn all the badges, I visit dreamtowns for inspiration, redesign areas of my town, farm PWPs, make patterns, try hunting down items to decorate my house with, etc, this is another area where having a theme can help as you will find inspiration easier, and make you feel more immersed like you’re playing an RPG.

I’ve gone on a lot here and I have more to add but I’ve spent over an hour typing this, but let me know if you have any other questions or need clarification on anything :) I’m not gonna add pics rn but if you need photo reference send another message and I will address it separately and add it here later.

Now heres a bunch of links to help you get invested:MoriBD - A catalog of every in-game item and an option to make a wishlistHybrid Guide - By @nooklingPWP GuideVillager Adoption Further Info on Plot ResettingPWP Farming Towns/interiors I found inspirationalSome QRsHacking info (if youre interested)How to upload your screenshots & Make your screenshot pretty!

Pick the right face when you startOnce you get the QR reader (talk to sable 7 days) you can use these

Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help :)Just putting it out there too, I am always happy to help people get whatever they want/need for no cost whether it be fruits, bamboo, mushrooms, items, hybrids, etc, I will always do what I can to help you out, whether you’re just starting or on your 5th year.

#ref #tutorial #animal crossing #acaddicts #animal crossing new leaf #i might have to go through and edit this later #but im too tired rn #blanca

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questionthebox · 4 years

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poets diary

this will be my last post. as I'm going on a sabbatical for a month. gonna go write, and do things with my camera.

1. its being said, just google it, or watch progressive media on YouTube, that a new batch so to speak of people have been thrown into poverty this week or so, which I'll say this, the millions of people who lost their wealth last time in 2008, those people never regained it, and their children spent the 2010′s largely unemployed, it dawned on me, that this is part of a larger project, it makes no coherent sense, because the ruling class now, has generations of people unemployed, from Gen Xers like my parents, to my generation, to my little sisters who are part of Gen Z, my little sister Vanessa turns 18 on December 20th, and Veronica, is working right now, she’s 20, born in the year 2000, she’s working for Walmart, they legitimately have no way to make any sort of bread, Vanessa, is trying to parlay her tremendous beauty, she also knows how to hook up women’s makeup and hair, so she’s become like a freelance hairstylist and makeup artist, just to have money, but otherwise, there’s really nothing out there opportunity wise, and these people being thrown into poverty, will stay there this whole decade, and as someone who when I turned 18 in 2010, didn’t know what the fuck to do, I can only imagine how tough it will be, as its been extremely tough,

2. a young man from altamed came to my door, to talk about the props on the ballot, and there are numerous important progressive props, most importantly in my opinion PROP 15 here in California, which will bring a progressive tax here, California, is a Neo liberal hells cape, Democrats control everything here, and we have inequality on par with the 3rd world, these bullshit ass democrats are controlled by the real estate industry, and it makes attaining housing beyond difficult, I've personally become desperate for my own apartment, I want to live in my own spot, ive applied for section 8 in San Diego, but that was a few years ago, I haven’t heard from them in maybe two years when I got a letter in the mail sayin I'm on their list, otherwise section 8, is a deadzone, the only open lists are in the Central Valley, or I believe San Bernardino way out in the middle of nowhere basically,

3. we need housing period across the nation, we need a whole list of shit, but if you study the economy, and everything, there’s no path in my opinion for what people talk about which is a social democratic platform, I just don’t see it, capitalism has changed in these 40 something years, as Chris hedges always points out we went from an Empire of Production to an Empire of financialization, what I find most discouraging is, that Joe Biden is already saying he’s going to have republicans in his cabinet, republicans who literally voted with trump 90 percent of the time, republicans who were union busters, this is FUCKING INSANITY, we literally have two right wing parties, there is no space for an alternative, its time, for some sort of direct action, where we take over towns and cities, if we can take over police stations, we can take over city halls, and shit,

4. in terms of making money, for myself, criminality, is very very alluring, you don’t know how amazing it feels to have money, a nice amount of it, it allows you to deal with your real problems, as the material problems are taken care of, there’s a general misery all around, and I refuse to be a victim, and its easy to become a victim, victimhood, is what the majority of humanity endure, and its psychologically like becoming a eunuch, ive observed young men in this, and its like they become very much like a Eunuch, they lose their balls so to speak, and I never wanted myself to end up in that,

5. in this misery, I think I have to temper my expectations, and wage my battles during the right time, I have to rely on friends, and unlock different escape routes, by meeting and interacting with new people, time is of the essence, which feels odd, but it is, time is important, I have to identify what I want, all I want is a good life, my own place, and the opportunity to do what I love, its almost like once I get to a certain level, this new level provides something new to overcome, the goal is to get my own apartment at all costs.

6. The Right Wing has to be smashed everywhere, I look at the right wing project, and its obviously putting the final bow on its global agenda, over the past 40 years, they’ve built up a huge reactionary base and network, which encompasses media, the courts, churches, political parties, the military, and so on, their project is quite obvious, one in which we become Slaves once again, and some sort of Monarchy exists, based upon right wing christianity,

7. the rise of young men who are motivated by resentment, and are expressing themselves as chauvinist violent incubators, its something I, which I now see I'm kinda like Wolverine, and Kratos, haha like that’s me, because ive suffered alongside these young men, and I know the indignities they’ve faced, I know their humiliations, what they’re really angry about, is that they throughout these past 10 years, haven’t had any women in their lives whatsoever, and that fuels their violence, I feel sorry for them, but I want to say this, many of them, probably damn near all of them can’t be reached, and I'll tell you why, poverty creates an insular environment, where only the ugliest dumbest things funnels in, and it appeals to their lack of “Strength” by having a veneer of it, many of those young men, are abused, they were physically abused, sexually abused, and dropped out of school, they’ve had to endure much, and their outlets up until now, have been pornography and video games, its sad and just writing all that it breaks my fucking heart, I wish I could help, maybe I should form a left wing version of proud boys, ha,

#poets on tumblr #society #writers on tumblr #my thoughts #leftist #socialist

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zhalar · 4 years

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hello hello its time for my annual crisis on here, tumblrdotcom, since all other social medias have constructed standards etc. for me (ive constructed them for myself)

i just recapped my last year (from june 2019 to this day today, september 2020) from instagram story -archives and Guess. Fucking what. ive done like, 4 things this entire time. Four things in like 15 months. yeah SURE theres a whole ass p*andemic going on but like COME ON????? come onnnnnnnhhhgnfjh

literally what the hell am i doing with my fucking days. all ive ever done/ever do is sit and lag out on the computer. and im not even writing most of the time!! and i have no other skills!!!! and i Swear im not doing this in the sense “boohoo look at what all the other people have achieved i Dont Compare :’’’(” im doing this because dude, i have no memories or experiences, and even during high school, which has so far been the most exciting time of my life, i didnt do SHIT. times fcknig ticking my dude haha. i want to Live.

i started university this week (like, officially. we had an orientation week last week) and uh oh. gamers. i havent connected with any of the people in my... group ??? how do you speak to people when you dont have anything to tell, talk about. to compare to? no anecdotes. Only anxiety. obviously doesnt help that ive missed some quintessential group hangouts since uh the whole Current Situatión Around The Globe terrifies me and im Not gonna be hanging about large masses of people unless i Absolutely have to. what a ..... time to be a freshman, amirite?? online lectures would be absolutely baller if i understood Anything im supposed to be doing. i dont understand. Anything. i think im too lazy for uni, to be honest. i wasnt exactly great in high school either. i dont think i like studying? + english is One Bitch to study. i feel that when i read stuff (be it academic or contemporary) i just do not absorb any of the real deep, meaningful and important things im supposed to be getting out of the text.

online classes S U CK. i lose 85% of my speech and personality (the slight of it that exists in a tolerable shape) in live-video format. none of us want this, cant we just do these exercises alone, pl e a s e

i wish i could just go walking/cycling around town but i cant really do that, either? im So scared of looking like a person from The Countryside(tm) who doesnt know how idk traffic lights or rules work in big cities. godfuck this brain. or i dont even know if thats to blame.

i watched cavetowns music video “hug all ur friends” yesterday, cried my eyes out in a very sophisticated manner when it hit me that i havent REALLY hugged anyone since . february? and also that im not sure if i’ll ever have the sort of friendships that involve . full-body hugging. yknow, the kind where your arms are just all over the other person. running(jumping into a hug. jesus.

been experiencing gender bullshit also, these past couple [uhhhhhhhhhh]. guess im now “officially” using she/they, haha. god i.

hmm. i came out to two of my professors. thats a strange thing to address. tho the only reason i brought up the matter of “hey yo would be DOPE if ya guys could use “they” every now and then if speaking to/about me, thankyouuu” in the first place is Entirely thanks to the fact that these dudes sent us emails stating that if we wanted to be addressed with different names/pronouns, we could just tell them. that got me Bad, you guys, thank fuck for university level of understanding (???) fuking odd, all of this. gender sure as hell is just a vibe, and im vibing slightly to the left of it.

ok hhhhhhhhhh maybe this has been enough for this moment. i should be doing: SO many things but i just do not want to do any of them so like hhhhhhhhhhghrrgh. i need a real person in my life (like i mean. someone whos a professional? idk) to whom i can yell about these fuking things so i wouldnt have to rely on personal google docs and tumblrposts like this one to take care of my mental health.

im craving vegan kebab-fries so bad hhhhh how do you do business in restaurants you dont know beforehand

#särmäs sermons #saara is oversharing again #huöäh that name.... that NAME......... im not sure if i want to be that name anymore but then again: i recognize that as my name #ah i just cant stop apparently alright its late for some of yall its prime work time for some of us (me) im gonna go and pretend to #do something thats Not watching crazy_ex_gf music videos on youtube bye BYE

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