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jazeswhbhaven · 5 days

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He Never Misses! (Leraye Limited Event React I)

Okay so, here's the damn thing about this event.

I loved the amount of peeking into each noble's dynamic with each other so much and I love the fact that this is pretty much a slice-of-life approach to how a "normal" day in Gehenna was and is.

In an overall sense we get a good dose of Sitri, interesting pop-ins from Astaroth and Paimon, and a little surprise visit that had me squealing later.

This, my lovelies is 6 part reaction because I took that many damn screenshots and I honestly wish there was a better way to upload them all on one or two posts without a photo limit. BUT alas...

Make sure to grab a snacky snack, and let's dive in...to the life of long-haired Leraye~ ┬─┬(◕‿◕♡)

So we enter with Astraoth just minding his business and cruising around the palace and Sitri just comes up and starts getting onto him about not being at the palace lol

Turns out he was gone for a while because he was tending to his hobbies which is corrupting...

You hear that everyone? He corrupts anyone so keep your windows open (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

I'm really crying right now, so basically he's telling why it took particularly long this time around because he was dealing with someone who hated their dead-end job. (sounds fucking familiar right?)

nah now think about it, imagine wildly that someone at pb put that in the event as a joke when in reality somebody either once quit before or secretly a current employee can't stand work and low key just slid that idea in....buttt let's get back to the event lmao

Sitri hit 'em with the "Sorry I'll you finish but-" treatment. Though it's for good reason..

Awhhhh Roro...(yes my nickname for him leave me be) LET HIM FINISH

So basically what happened is that Sitri lost his favorite pen (rly?) it's the color of Solomon's hair and he put some of this man's hair in the ink and now he's lost it and he can't find it.

It's funny because Astaroth said the same thing as me "Why would you do that?" but he understood the sentiment behind it and was willing to give Sitri some insight on who to ask to find something like that.

LERAYE!

So our boy has crazy good eyesight. Like dangerously good to the point where I want to swap my eyes out with his because good lord I'd love a reason to not spend money on glasses with these expensive ass lenses.

So fun side note here that everyone leaves their door open except for Sitri, who most likely just likes his privacy or is used to having his door closed because perhaps the room he stayed in during Hades always had the door closed? Something along those lines I would like to think.

So now here are some nice Leraye and Paimon dynamics <3 our poor fave femboy lost his piercing recently and was asking Leraye to help find it. So it appears that either the piercing is shaped like Ppyong like the barette on his hair, or it's as big as he is, which last time I checked isn't Ppyong technically the largest red lump? (idk everyone else is pretty tiny when compared to him in the red lump family)

Okay nvm my previous thing it's shaped like Ppyong (LMAO) and this sounds cute actually, beside the fact that it becomes a fucking bomb all of the sudden (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

like imagine the TSA having a field day finding one of those...

I love how Paimon is like "Someone might die but most importantly my piercing is going to be destroyed :("

Amazing priorities bby, I support you.

Also, Astaroth is interested in how the piercing works and its explosive properties so he wants to tag along (he's so weird i love him) And Leraye with his cheery self is happy to help. So he goes to the window to start his search with those amazing eyeballs of his and his hair is blowing in the wind (imagine bouncy music in the background, his hair flowing and him humming while trying to find it)

Paimon is over here thirsting over watching him and it really fuels my "Paimon probably flirts with the nobles from time to time but he's never serious about it"

So within moments, he says he has a lead but hasn't really found it yet so the three go out looking around and well, so far not so good. This is pretty much the third time Leraye had moved positions and and updated on the status of finding the piercing and Paimon is getting a bit impatient.

You see that little pouty angry face? This event isn't voiced but I can hear him now getting all upset. But tbh I get upset too when I'm trying to find something and it's always "almost, maybe the next place it will be there"

Thanks Astaroth, really helping out here lmao

So it appears that even though he was circliing around alot he finally appears to have a lock in on the piercing's whereabouts which excites Paimon. Astraoth starts being poetic about Leraye's rooftop running and Paimon is just like-

You heard him! Stfu and get your ass movin' Roro!!! (I love how Paimon is super agitated easily when it comes to something he cares about lol)

I threw this scene in here because I was like "ah yes the devil with the good eyes I wish that were me lmao"

okay so pitt stop...because even though he's not known for his endurance he surely wasn't having a problem during his h-scene so....( ͡° ͜ʖ├┬┴┬┴

So when he's catching his breath Paimon and Astaroth catch up whose pretty much questioning how Leraye can even see this far ahead and it sounds like they traveled pretty damn far. (remember it's a flashback so Astaroth didn't know about his abilities yet)

And then out of fucking nowhere Leraye just goes to this random hole in the alleyway and throws something at Astaroth while Paimon is like omfg watch out???!!!

So we find out that it was Astaroth's snake that was in that hole just hiding out. So i noticed his name is Apophis and the described him as white but he's clearly black .-. ANYWAY.

(don't worry everyone he was just coming back from filming his role in Meg the Stallion's music video /j lol) So apparently Apophis was lost and Roro was looking for him but weren't they looking for Paimon's piercing?

Lol Apophis bites Leraye and possibly others when Astaroth isn't around and that's cute. Ofc he'd only trust his owner.

And ofc we find out that the snake has swallowed Paimon's piercing...and I'm just like. Oh yikes...so how are we getting this out? lol

So for this little scene Leraye explains plainly that he can see the shape of the piercing inside Apophis' stomach and yet the other two can't and that Leraye just assumes they can because he's naive in his thinking just like most devils, a childlike wonder and view.

And while Astaroth is reflecting on that Paimon asks for him to get the earring out which again I'm like how is he even going to do that???

┬┴┬┴┤•ᴥ•ʔ├┬┴┬┴ oh.....

he can make his voice deeper?

Me too Apophis...me too. I'm shaking, crying and throwing up.

Because think about that shit...Astaroth coming into your room to just randomly corrupt and fuck with you and even if you are corrupt he has a thing for making it even worse...and then he pulls this poetic, deep-voiced nsfw audio shit on you and now you're committing crimes you never even knew you could because of it.

BUT that stops for now with part 1, phew...only 5 more to go...! (i'm really sleepy rn so I'm going to get a couple hours of sleep and then get up and start back up again lol)

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb leraye #whb astaroth #whb paimon #whb gehenna bois❤️#whb event #whb spoilers #whb screencaps #let's goooooo noble event!

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azuremist · 9 months

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Alterhumanity and Autism (Script)

During my panel at this year's Othercon, I said that I would publicly post my panel's script, and my survey's results onto my tumblr, for easy archival purposes! (There is no way to submit Google Docs to archive.org that I'm aware of...)

This is the panel's script! What I said before the QnA part of the panel. Once the panel recording is uploaded, I'll reblog with the link to it, as well! The results for the survey will also be posted to this account shortly.

Here is the blurb that I originally wrote for the panel, on the schedule:

"This panel aims to explore the relationship between autism and alterhumanity, by looking at the history, the modern autistic community and what real alterhumans have to say on the topic. Why it is that neurodivergency is seemingly so common in the alterhuman community? Is it correlation, causation, or perhaps something in between?"

And, below is the script itself!

Hi, everyone! I am so excited to be speaking at Othercon this year and I hope everyone else is enjoying the 'con so far. My name is Azure! You may also call me Bede, as I answer to both. I like he/him, she/her and bun/buns pronouns, and I am a multitude of things! I am a demon (a fallen angel if you wanna get technical), and my main fictotype is, you'll never guess who based off my names, Bede from Pokemon. Shoutout to any Pokemonkin listening. I've been active in the alterhuman community for around 5 years now, and was the head and sole mod of ‘From Fictionkind’, which is a zine released in 2022, aiming to explore the experiences of those who have a fiction-based identity. If you are interested, you can download it here. (Send link)

I am a grab bag of disorders and disabilities, most of which I won't list, but what is relevant to this panel is that I am, in fact, autistic. Not only that, but I have done, by all metrics, way too much research into autism, and I am an autistic activist!

To preface: although this panel is going to specifically namedrop and talk about autism a lot, I am sure that a lot of different beings can relate to what I am going to talk about today. Not just other neurodivergencies and disabilities, either. Much of what I am going to be talking about today could resonate with any oppressed being's experiences. I welcome all discussion about the similarities of different experiences with open arms!

But, for the sake of transparency, I am not very good at talking off the cuff. So I am going to spend the bulk of this panel reading from a pre-prepared script. If anyone is interested in a transcript, it is available on Google Docs for viewing! I will send it in the panel chat right now, so that anyone who needs to may read along, for word-processing purposes. (Send link) This also means that I am not going to be looking at the chat a whole lot, so if there's something you'd particularly like for me to see, I encourage you to hold it until the end so that I can be sure to see it and give it the thought and recognition that it deserves. All this being said, I still will be looking at the chat occasionally.

To prepare for this panel, I took a survey polling autistic alterhumans, which was taking responses from March 7th to July 1st, so around 4 months. I was hoping for about maybe 90 participants, but that number was blown out of the water with over 500 responses!! I will be going over those results later on in the panel, and will also be referencing the anonymous freeform responses.

The very last point of my preamble here is to warn that this panel may not be suitable for all audiences. This lecture contains extended discussion of ableism, and, while I try to keep the mentions brief, there will be specific talk of disabled folks, including children, being hurt. If you're unable to handle that at this time, that is absolutely fine. Take care of yourself and have a great con!

This panel aims to explore the relationship between autism and alterhumanity, by looking at the history, the modern autistic community and what real alterhumans have to say on the topic. I hope to, perhaps not explain, but look into why it is that neurodivergency is seemingly so common in the alterhuman community, and whether it's because of correlation, causation, or perhaps something in between.

Now, let's start off with a question and feel free to try and guess: What do fairies, aliens, and crystals all have in common? Do we have any guesses?

The correct answer is that all 3 of these things have been used to try and claim autistic children are nonhuman!

Let's get into the specifics, starting from the top with fairies.

The changeling is a form of fairy found in European folklore. Also referred to as an "oaf" historically, a changeling is a fairy that is left in the place of an identical human child, when they are stolen away by other fairies. This is to say, parents believed that their human child was being replaced by an identical fairy child. There were multiple tricks that were thought to fend this off. When you believe you already have a changeling, though... There were less ways to go about that. Historical records and tales about changelings unfortunately imply that the solution chosen for a changeling child was often times infanticide.

Many modern psychologists now believe that most tales of changelings developed in an attempt to explain disabled children. This includes, but is not limited to, deformities, Down syndrome, Williams syndrome, cerebral palsy, and, of course, autism. The fact that boys are more often born with birth defects lines up with the touted belief that boys were more likely to be taken by fairies.

Furthermore, see "regressive autism". This so-called phenomena occurs when a child appears to develop, quote-unquote, "normally", until they start showing symptoms of autism in their later years. Now, what actually happens in these cases is that they never noticed their child's autistic traits until those later years. But the fact that there is still a name for this sudden perceived shift in an autistic child shows the sheer amount of cases there are like this, even today. Now, imagine how bad it was hundreds of years ago, before we even had a word for autism. This "sudden shift" perspective very much parallels the supposed markings of your child being replaced by a changeling.

Second verse, same as the first: aliens. Although the term "starseed" has been picked up in the alterhuman community as a way to describe one's self as an alien, "starseeds", or "star children", didn't originate in the alterhuman community. Their existence is a theory put forth by Brad Seiger in his 1976 book, titled "Gods of Aquarius". It posits that some humans originated as extraterrestrials, and arrived on Earth through either birth or by taking over an existent human body.

Generally agreed-upon signs that you or someone you love is a starseed, according to believers, include that person feeling like they don't belong, being hyperempathetic (which is a sign of autism, despite what the stereotypes would have you believe), introversion, and... Actually, I'm going to quote this in its entirety. In "What Is A Starseed & 50 Clear Signs You Are One", published by The Spirit Nomad, the first listed sign is, quote, "You are highly sensitive. You easily feel overwhelmed and drained when you are in a place with many people and with intense stimuli – like shopping malls, clubs, and networking events. You might also be sensitive to stimulants like coffee, alcohol and even dark chocolate." Endquote.

You think I'm joking about these things just listing autism symptoms. I'm not!

Finally... Crystals. Crystal children and indigo children are both believed to be sort of the next step in scientific evolution, according to New Age circles. More specifically, crystal children are the newest generation, while indigo children were the first wave, from around the 70s to the 90s. I'll just be calling both of these 'waves' crystal children for the sake of simplicity, but know that they are just two waves of the same thing. Crystal children are believed to possess special or supernatural abilities, such as telepathy. Autistic children having telepathy, as we all know, is the plot of Mob Psycho 100.

Signs that your child is a crystal child include high empathy, being perceived as 'strange' by others or intelligent for their age (see the autistic gifted kid phenomenon), and being sensitive to the point of fussing in crowded spaces. It's also said that crystal children may struggle in socially conventional schools, because of their dislike of rigid authority, being smarter than their teachers, and their lack of response to guilt, fear, or manipulation-based discipline. (Read: indirect communication.)

It is actually a noted phenomenon that many parents, when confronted with a diagnosis like a learning disability, ADHD, or autism, will alternatively label their child as a crystal child. Autism researcher Mitzi Waltz noted this phenomenon, and spoke about it in a 2009 issue of The Journal of Religion, Disability & Health. He suggests that parents recategorize autistic symptoms as telepathic powers to attempt to reconceptualize these autistic traits as a part of a more conventionally positive identity. He also puts into words why this can be harmful, stating that parents could refuse to acknowledge their child's impairments, refuse accommodations, and, quote, "transmit belief systems to the child that are self-aggrandizing, confusing, or potentially frightening." Endquote.

Believe it or not, there are actually MORE examples of myths or conspiracy theories that attempt to explain autistic children as nonhuman. But, I will leave it at those three.

Let's take a brief look into modern media now. Specifically, the "autistic-coded robot" trope. A lot of times, when humans try to write robots, or AI or such, they think that they can just take all essential things that make humanity what it is, and take away a few things. Make them not express empathy, they don't get nonliteral phrases, they obviously speak in monotone. We could sprinkle in a little bit of feeling out of place with humanity for flavor aaaand it's autistic. Your robot is autistic. To name some examples of this trope, think Data from Star Trek, or Zane from Ninjago.

This trope is more or less echoed, beat for beat, with the autistic-coded alien trope. Examples of this flavor of the trope include Peridot from Steven Universe, Spock from Star Trek, or, and I'm sorry for anyone who I'm about to violently throw back into 2016 with this, Keith from Voltron.

Because nonhumanity is so often linked to autistic beings by the culture around us, desiring to be nonhuman or connecting with nonhumanity is now a recognized part of autistic culture. We often feel out of place in neurotypical society. Join autistic spaces, and you’ll see jokes like, “What kind of nonhuman did you think you were as a kid?” (In case you’re wondering, the answer is werewolf for me.) Growing up thinking that the reason behind your autistic traits is because you are secretly nonhuman is a common experience. Jokes about desiring a tail and to purr often go viral within autistic spaces, because they are forms of natural and nonverbal communication that shows those around us that we are happy. The topic of nonhumanity within autistic culture is also talked about within professional settings, such as in Kim Duff’s speech, “The Role of Changeling Lore in Autistic Culture”, at the 1999 Autreat conference of Autism Network International.

There is also discussion of how autistic beings oftentimes connect with animals better than with humans. For example, Temple Grandin is an autistic animal behavioralist who has written extensively on how her being autistic helps her understand how animals feel. For example, she speaks in 2004’s, “Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behavior”, and in 1997’s “Thinking the Way Animals Do: Unique Insights from a Person with a Singular Understanding”.

In more modern times, we have the 2022 article, “How Autism Connects Me With Animals”, in which Emily Moran Barwick, writes, quote, “I knew how profoundly frustrating, isolating and demoralizing it was to be unable to convey what I wanted to convey. I knew how it felt to never be truly understood. And it broke my heart thinking of what non-human animals were experiencing at the hands of humans; that no matter how desperately and clearly they communicated their terror and pain, they were ignored and discounted.” Endquote.

All of these connections have led to the creation of subcultures created in an attempt to reclaim the dehumanization put onto us. To name one example, voidpunk is a subculture created by tumblr user arotaro in the 2010s, and more or less hinges on this idea. Key points of this subculture include the rejection of the norm, embracing nonhumanity, and comfort in the unknown. In the words of it’s creator, quote, “It’s not the same as otherkin because it’s not really like, “Ah yes, I am a cat/dragon/wolf/that one guy from Homestuck/etc.”, it’s not necessarily something specific, and it’s not necessarily literally believing you’re something other than human. It’s, well, punk. Society puts out a lot of messages about What It Means To Be Human (trademark) that can make a lot of people who don’t completely fit the bill feel lost, broken, alone, or like they’re doing something wrong; Voidpunk is about taking that message of “you’re not human”, making it your own, and throwing it back in society’s face. You say I’m not human? Sure, ok. That’s chill. Why does being Human (trademark) have to be a goal to aspire to anyway? What’s so great about humanity?” Endquote. She then goes on to specifically namedrop neurodivergents as one of the target audiences for the subculture, as well. She also later answers an ask to clarify, quote, “Someone who doesn’t face dehumanization cannot be voidpunk.” Endquote.

So, where does all of this information intersect with the notable number of autistic alterhumans? Well, that’s just the question, isn’t it? Is it possible that alterhuman identity may correlate with those who have identities and neurotypes which are demonized by society? After all, queer beings are common within alterhuman spaces, too. And, if there is a correlation, is there causation there, as well? There are already some terms coined to describe when alterhuman identity is caused or influenced by autistic traits; such as ‘otherspin’, a term for when one’s alterhuman identity is caused / influenced by special interests. Furthermore, ‘altervexo’ attempts to describe identifying as alterhuman out of spite for the dehumanization one has faced. However, to my knowledge, no term has been made or extensive talks had about, voluntary or nonvoluntary, alterhuman identity, as possibly having origins within dehumanization.

So, I set out to have that conversation. As stated at the start of this panel, I ran a survey, mostly promoted on tumblr, from March 7th to July 1st, posing questions to the autistic alterhuman community about their personal experiences, which got over 500 responses! 537, to be exact. I’d like to share the results of this survey with you now. The raw data collected is available here. (Send link) I will also be posting both the raw data, and the script for this panel, to my tumblr, @azuremist, but that’s mostly for easy archival purposes. Now, it’s NUMBERS TIME, baby!

I asked everyone to indicate if they agreed or disagreed with the statements I made. For the statement, “I believe that my autism has influenced my alterhumanity in some way, shape, or form,” 92% of those who took my survey agreed, and 8% disagreed, which is a WILD split. Far beyond notable.

For the statement, “I feel like the way that autistic beings are seen by society has influenced my alterhumanity”, the split is a bit more even, with 72.4% agreeing, and 27.6% disagreeing.

This means that, of those who I polled who agreed that autism influenced their alterhumanity, 78.6% (rounding down) also agreed that the way autistic beings are viewed in society influenced their alterhumanity. This is a rate a bit over 3 in every 4.

This next question is one of the things that I asked more out of personal curiosity, which is, whether or not they feel more safe to be openly autistic in alterhuman spaces, when compared to other community spaces. Of those polled, 89.4% agreed, and 10.6% disagreed, which makes me quite happy! One anonymous being commented, quote, “I generally find that most alterhuman spaces are a lot more accepting of autistic beings than wider society if that makes sense? Going into an alterhuman space, I'm never concerned that it may not be safe or accessible for me.” Endquote. Someone else wrote in that they could testify to the opposite being true, as well; autistic spaces, in their experience, had a higher likelihood of being accepting of alterhuman identities. However, one being who answered ‘no’ to this question stated that they avoid alterhuman spaces for things related to this subject. They list as an example, quote, “Like the refusal of tone tags? I understand not wanting them to be used for you but banning them from the space all together? And also a lot of spaces, despite being accepting of autistic beings, still find a way to hate those beings for being autistic.” Making community spaces safe for autistic beings is an ongoing learning process for everyone involved. So please make sure to consult your local autistic advocate to make sure everything is accessible for those of all neurotypes.

For the next questions, I asked about everyone’s specific experience with alterhumanity. Another question that I asked, mostly out of curiosity, is, “Would you consider alterhumanity, as a subject, a special interest?” 64.8% of respondents answered ‘no’, and 35.2% answered ‘yes’.

The next question, though, is really quite interesting to me. It asks, “If you have any kintypes which originate from a piece of media: Would you consider that kintype's source material a special interest?” 69% of respondents (nice) answered ‘yes’, and 31% answered ‘no’. That’s a pretty close percentage to the question about alterhumanity as a special interest, but with the answers flipped. Indeed, many times in the section where I invite others to talk about their experience, there are respondents specifically namedropping that they believe their special interests contribute to their alterhumanity. Some, but not all, of these instances include a space conceptkin who has space as a special interest, two catkin, with one having Warrior Cats as a past special interest, and the other, cats in general as one, and someone who specifically wrote, quote, “I also feel as though my special interests in some medias have influenced the fact that I identify with both real and fictional species. For example, I have a large number of original characters who are demons and I feel like my special interest in them may have led me down the path of discovering myself as demonkin.” When discussing the subject of autism influencing alterhumanity, special interests were easily the thing that came up the most, other than how autistic beings are seen by neurotypical society.

The final multiple choice question I had asked, “If you have a nonhuman kintype of any kind: Do you experience species dysphoria and/or euphoria?” To this, 85.9% answered ‘yes’, and 14.1% answered ‘no’.

We can compare this to a survey not aimed at autistic alterhumans; specifically, the ‘Alterhumanity and Gender Survey’, as conducted by Eli, at pantomorph on tumblr. These results were posted on July 22nd of 2019, and reported that, in response to the question, “Do you experience species dysphoria?”, 4.9% answered ‘I used to,’ 8.9% answered ‘unsure’, 22.7% answered ‘no’, 36% answered ‘sometimes’ and 27.6% answered ‘yes’. Adding up the percentages of ‘I used to’, ‘sometimes’ and ‘yes’, we get 68.5% of respondents who are certain that they have, at some point, experienced species dysphoria.

This means that, according to these surveys, autistic alterhumans appear to have a higher chance of experiencing species dysphoria, with a 17.5% difference. Though, keep in mind, I included euphoria in my question, and Eli did not. This would certainly require more data to confirm, however, this at least would warrant further polling, in my opinion.

All of this talk about autistic beings and species dysphoria may have you thinking about the fact that autistic beings are statistically more likely to identify as transgender, with some estimates stating that transgender individuals are up to 6 times more likely to be autistic than cisgender individuals! This is because gender is stupid, and autistic folks are not. Multiple respondents to the survey brought this point up. One being specifically wrote in, quote, “Statistically, autistic folks are more likely to know they're trans than allistics, and I support the theory that that's got something to do with autistic beings seeing things without the lens of social cues and societal pressures, including more awareness of who we are and how we see ourselves. … Society is like, "You should be like this," and autistics are like, "But why? It doesn't really make sense, plus I don't fit in to those standards anyway, so why not choose my own path in life?"” Endquote. I definitely agree that the reason so many autistic folks identify as transgender may be similar to, or the same, reason that autistic folks seem to be more likely to be alterhuman.

Hello to all trans autistic alterhumans listening! Call that a triple threat.

Now, the final question that I asked. I listed multiple different alterhuman identities, and asked everyone to indicate which, if any, of the provided labels that they identify with. And, indeed, my hypothesis when going into this question was proven correct. Of the terms that I provided, it was “nonhuman” that most autistic alterhumans identified with specifically, with 74.9% of respondents identifying as nonhuman. Other popular answers to this question included ‘therian’, with 57.5%, and fictionkin with a nonhuman fictional character. Indeed, I did put two separate options for fictionkin, where they could indicate if their fictional kintype was human or not. 45.1% of respondents had a nonhuman fictotype, and 41.2% of respondents had a human fictotype. So, autistic fictionkin appear to have around a 9% (rounding down) higher likelihood to identify with nonhuman fictional characters. Unfortunately, I could not find another survey to compare this statistic against, but it is a statistic we have now, nonetheless.

Furthermore, I specifically listed 3 common kintypes that have been associated with autistic beings, as previously discussed: fairies, aliens, and robots / technology. Of these, techkin was easily the most popular, with 19.9% of respondents identifying as such. Alienkin and fairykin were close in numbers, with 11.2% identifying as alienkin, and 11.9% identifying as fairykin. On the subject of being robotkin, one being wrote, quote, “I do not on a literal, physical level believe I’m a robot, however, tropes related to robots and the way they behave and are treated feel analogous to my own lived experiences, so in some ways it feels as though I experience my life as a robot would.” Endquote.

Which segways nicely into the final question, which is the filled in responses. For this question, I prompted, “If you have anything you'd like to add, please tell me about your experiences involving your alterhumanity and autism.”

Many took the chance to speak on if they felt like their autism and alterhumanity were connected. As previously mentioned, lots of folks mentioned special interests as a factor. Lots of folks also said that they felt the two were connected, but couldn’t explain how, with a common sentiment being that it is a ‘chicken or the egg’ situation. Two different beings whose kintypes are their past lives wrote in, and both said that a hypothetical allistic version of them wouldn’t be able to get memories as easily. Multiple beings also wrote that they felt like the awakening process was made easier due to their autism. They were so used to seeing themselves as different from everybody else, and not understanding social cues, that they were more willing to take on, quote-unquote, “weird” solutions as the source of their feelings. Other commonly-mentioned points include dehumanization as a reason for alterhumanity, autistic traits being seen as similar to animalistic traits, and the possibly-related high rate of autistic pagans and witches.

Something that I didn’t expect going in, but perhaps should have, is the amount of autistic alterbeings who wrote about their struggle to find words to describe themselves. One ghostkin wrote they felt like their nonconformity to their kintype’s typical associated traits (like darkness, doom and gloom, et cetera) was due to their autism, but that they felt they didn’t belong with other ghostkin because of it. And a LOT of folks wrote in saying that they had a lot of trouble figuring out what terminology to use, especially regarding the ever-dreaded ‘identify with’ or ‘identify as’ question. One being wrote in that they see themself as psychological otherkin, but would be more accurately described as having a neurotype-based, or neurology-based, origin, due to their autism. However, this has caused some issues, as it is not seen as a, quote-unquote, ‘valid’ origin. Someone else describes having issues with this because the community does a lot of gatekeeping, and because it is easier to find beings complaining about words being misused than the actual use of words.

Now, there are some responses that I would like to read in full, or mostly in full, for your listening pleasure.

The first one is as follows. Quote. “When I was 6-ish, I started noticing that people treated me a bit like they treated our old Windows ‘98 Dell computer. The computer was inhuman when it worked (and praised for its distance from humanity! “Yes, it can play videos from the internet! Isn’t technology cool?”) and human when it broke down (“He’s getting overwhelmed, give us a sec.” “She’s blinking at me. I have no idea why this is such a difficult task.” “It ate my fucking CD. Stubborn POS.”). It’s a bit frustrating that my autistic traits are only praised when they make me convenient for others to use... I’m self-sufficient, I’m quiet, I’m a fast learner and a thorough researcher, so I rarely need to bother another person to complete the tasks I’m given. But because that’s all anyone ever seems to want me for... It’s a self-fulfilling cycle which is useful for the neurotypicals but exhausting for me, and when it ends in a burnout (inevitable) then I’m finally treated as human, but only because I’ve failed to be the computer they wanted. So I’m a computer when someone’s pleased with me, and I’m human when I’ve disappointed them. You can see why I might like the idea of being a PC more than a person. Also, when something’s wrong, computers’ error messages are both clearer and harder to ignore than a human’s requests for accommodation. This is a bit of a bummer, sorry. The upside is that I’m crazy good at data analysis now.” Endquote. This was excellently put, and I’m sure something that may resonate with autistic techkin.

Another write-in reads, quote, “One does not have to be autistic to be alterhuman or nonhuman, but one does have to be autistic to be my species. My species does not have human neurology, or allistic neurology. To be my species one must be autistic… though it’s more that my species has neurology which allistics will refer to as autism. I could not be my species if I wasn’t autistic.” Endquote. This is a very interesting response, and, to be honest, I sort of wish I knew what this being’s species was so that I could look more into it. It’s almost like a sort of alternate view of autistic nonhumans or autistic aliens, which is just lovely.

Then, there is this submission. Quote, “Diagnosed with autism at 15, explained a lot, I can't help but wonder - if I'd known, would I still dehumanize myself in the way I do? Other kids called me "cat boy" because when they would pick on me, I'd hiss at them. I don't know why. I think I just saw my cats do it and it was the only way I knew how to retaliate. But it just made them laugh. ... I stopped seeing myself as human a long time ago, more of an animal for people's amusement. ... But when I found out about otherkin, it was like suddenly this experience of mine I was certain I was alone in was shared. For some people it's spiritual, but even in our differences, our feelings were the same. The community taught me to love this nonhuman side of me, and they were understanding of my diagnosis. I didn't feel like an outcast there, they made me feel like it was something to cherish, and I do.” Endquote. Again, absolutely very well-said. Reclaiming and celebrating nonhumanity is, from what I’ve gathered, a large part of the autistic alterhuman experience, and this response phrased it just wonderfully.

Lastly, in regards to responses: shoutout to the one guy who said, “I just finished making my first ever tail, isn’t that sick?”, because yes, yes it is.

Thank you so much again to all the respondents to my survey!

And so, we have now reached the discussion section, which will last until my time runs out. This is where I will cease looking at a script, so please send anything you’d particularly like me to see now! Also, feel free to ask me questions, and I will answer to the best of my ability. Alternatively, tell me about your experiences, or just give general comments!

#othercon #othercon 2023 #alterhuman #essays #alterhuman community #autism #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #otherkin #azure does a thing

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ristoranteivorykeys · 11 months

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twst mermay 12 — mostro menu

disguised as an nrc student, rielle visits the mostro lounge in hopes of seeing his longtime crush, azul. jade is his waiter and decides to relive some old memories by teasing the poor prince.

ft. jade leech & rielle

╰┈➤ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: it's been so long since i updated!! i thought i was never going to continue this, but i think i love octavinelle too much to completely abandon this project ;u; so i guess i will really try to complete this after all hehe. i'll definitely be going at a slow pace, though, but now this really helps me because i don't have to meet a certain deadline or anything to upload my fics. that really caused me to compromise the quality of some fics for the sake of frequently updating (mermay 11 especially got hit with this. i really had so many ideas for it but i cut it short, and now i want to go back to it and rewrite it). about the fic! i want to thank @yaoyaobae for the huge inspiration for rielle's character here. i absolutely adore the idea of prince rielle being all over azul! ;u; it's going to be my hc forever and ever hehe. anyway, i hope you enjoy!

╰┈➤ 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐨: mermay masterlist

Jade is no stranger to redheads. Boys with red hair are not too common, but a good number of them exist in the school hallways. Night Raven College is a hot pot of diverse cultures and creatures, after all—for Sea Witch’s sake, there is a guy with fire for his hair in this school.

But he knows that bright red sheen entering Mostro Lounge, and he definitely knows that round cheeked youthful face taking a seat after being directed by a waiter to a table. Why, he would be Coral Sea’s laughingstock if he did not know his identity.

Once the waiter who attended to the red-headed boy is approaching the counter with the stacks of menus, he approaches him and places a hand on his shoulder. Leaning down to his ear—and bringing out a shudder in the poor boy—he whispers, “Handle tables 5 and 6, if you please.”

And with no hesitation, the waiter sputters out a “Yes, sir”, and briskly approaches one table on the opposite side of the establishment.

Wasting no time, Jade briskly walks to a counter to retrieve a menu, a swift yet graceful movement, and quickly approaches to the side of the boy. “Good evening, sir,” he introduces himself with his sweet customer service smile, “I will be your waiter for tonight.” And he places the menu down on the table in front of the customer. His lips are perhaps a little wider than usual. Normally, he would say his name to make the patron feel comfortable with him.

But Jade Leech knows that he does not have to introduce himself to this particular customer.

“Seven seas!” The red-haired boy nearly leaps on his seat, eyes big and round as a flounder. “No way, it’s you, Jade!”

“Ah, Rielle,” Jade exclaims in fake shock, “I almost did not recognize you.”

“I couldn’t tell if it was you, either! You look so different with that kind of skin tone,” Rielle exclaims, looking up and down at Jade. “Wait—I don’t mean to imply anything with what I said, it’s just—”

“Fret not, I know what you mean,” he answers, accompanying his words with a reassuring look. “You look different too. Black is not a color I would expect to see you in, nor did I expect to see you in our uniform.”

“Ah, well…” Rielle glances off to the side with a sheepish look.

Jade smiles knowingly. “Regardless, you are now our customer. May I take your order?”

“Oh right, right, sorry!” Rielle immediately takes hold of the purple hardbound cover of the menu and opens it. “Whoa, that’s such a pretty design,” he mumbles to himself as he flips through sheets of thick paper with names of dishes imprinted on them. He mutters something else that Jade could not hear. Not even ten seconds later, he looks up to him. “Um, hey, what would you recommend, Jade?”

“I would recommend our bestsellers,” he answers, automatically with a practiced ease. “Those are the ones marked with the crown. My personal recommendations,” his tone shifts subtly to small excitement, “are our mushroom soup and the Port o’ Blisso Risotto. And since you are a long time friend and part of a royal family, I have a special recommendation not on the menu.”

Jade leans down to Rielle. His lips widen just a little bit in a shit-eating grin.

“Perhaps you would like a purple octopus served to you on a silver platter.”

“hEeheshsySHYAYA—” In a split second, Rielle jumps on his couch, an explosion of red coloring his baby face. His sudden screech causes a few customers and waiters to look at him oddly, but the boy is far too flustered to notice their gazes. “N-no, I would not like that, thank you very much! I do not like octopus! I-I am allergic to octopus!”

“Oh?” Jade tilts his head in mock confusion. “I don’t recall you ever saying you were allergic to octopus. I’m sure that would have been a very significant detail to bring up when writing about— ah, what was that again? Ah yes, how much you want to taste the silvery tongue of someone like A—”

“St-stoOPP,” Rielle exclaims, covering his ears like it would block out all of Jade’s words. “H-how did you even— I threw that away!”

The vice dorm leader laughs. It is nowhere near a cachinnate, but it is much more than the chuckles that most students are used to. In fact, the nearby waiters and other Octavinelle students watching the scene stare at him with open-mouthed shock. Jade, the fearsome Leech twin, laughing in the middle of a shift?

Rielle suddenly seems much more aware of the people around him, because he freezes upon seeing eyes on him, spews multiple ‘I’m sorry’s, takes the menu, and hides his face among its pages.

“My apologies, Rielle,” he says in the midst of calming from his mirth. “I do not mean to embarrass you. I just simply wanted to bring up old memories.”

“You and I both know that you are not sorry at all, nor are you doing that to bring up old memories,” the red-haired prince states pointedly, face still hidden in the menu, but he can feel the deadpan look that he’d be casting at him.

Jade smiles in response. “You truly have not changed one bit, Rielle.”

Rielle sighs before looking around, and once he sees that far less people are watching him, he puts down the menu with a splat. He leans on the couch, a heavy sigh escaping his pink lips as he slides down slightly, almost like a deflated pufferfish. “Maybe there really is something wrong with me,” he says. “Maybe I should go back, I’m not even supposed to be wearing this uniform anyway.”

“Unfortunately, I cannot allow that,” Jade says. “Once you step into our establishment, you must order something. That is the policy that Azul made.”

He makes sure to emphasize Azul in his sentence, and as expected, Rielle’s cheeks turn a slightly pinkish shade at the mention of his name.

“Alright, I’ll get the risotto then.”

“One Port O’ Blisso Risotto, do you want any drinks?”

“No, just service water will do.”

“Your order will take 5 to 10 minutes.” He places his hand on the menu. “May I take this from you, if that is alright?”

“Oh no, it’s fine,” Rielle says. “I probably might need it in case I want something else.”

Jade nods. “If you need anything else, I am here to assist you.”

A quiet thank you leaves the prince’s lips. The vice dorm head makes his way to the order counter. “A Port O’ Blisso for Table 16. Please be aware that this customer is a very wealthy and influential figure. Do not mess this up.” His threatening smile is all the chefs need before they rush to the pantry to find the best portobello mushrooms that they had.

He briefly muses on whether to summon Azul out of his office or not. It would be highly entertaining, no doubt. Prince Rielle, squirming in his seat as he fails to contain the giddiness of his crush, and Azul, clueless to his behavior as he mentally writes the script of an extra warm welcome suited for a royal. Who can say no to such a humorous situation?

On the other hand, Jade senses that Rielle wants to talk to him, to delve deeper about his feelings for Azul. It would be intriguing to know how his feelings have changed over the years in some way. Back in middle school, all anyone would think about is the high, the rapture of having someone that makes you want to spin as you speed to the surface of the ocean and break it to bathe in the sun. But now, after truly knowing what gravity feels like from touching sand and grass and brushing fingers with the sky, the high is there, but now, so are the lows.

Besides, imagine what he could do with that information Rielle would give! It could serve him wonders, whether as blackmail or as a way to start a romance that would be wholly amusing. Jade Leech may be menacing, may or may not be the son of a mafia don, but he is still 17 years old. There is fun to be had in watching the long game play out. The fumbling of a boy in love for 3 years, the possible mutual crush that could start, and if he can do anything to help in its progress? Why, that would be further entertainment for him!

After 4 and a half minutes, the risotto is ready, and with a tray in hand, Jade sets down the plate onto Rielle’s table.

“Your Port O’ Blisso Risotto is ready. I hope you enjoy it.”

He makes a move to step away, but he walks slowly. Waiting.

Rielle raises his hand.

“Wait, Jade.”

He stops on command.

“Yes? May I help you with something?”

He only asks to be polite, but he already anticipates what Rielle’s next words will be.

“Please sit with me, Jade.”

The yes is practically sitting on his tongue. But something rebellious tugs at him. The yes doesn’t feel satisfying if Rielle doesn’t fight for it.

“Oh, what a request you ask of me,” he says with fake surprise. “As you can see, I am on my shift, and I cannot abandon that or else my wage may be cut.”

Rielle is quiet for one second. For a moment, he wonders if he will give up.

“...Then,” the prince leans closer, cups his hand next to his mouth, and whispers loud enough for Jade to hear, “then I’ll cover your wage for you!”

Jade’s surprise this time is real.

“Listen, I just need someone to talk to about this, and the sooner I can leave, the less of a chance I’ll be spotted,” he said. “I really just came for one single chance to see Azul, but he’s not here, I don’t wanna wait till Mostro closes cause I also have a curfew. And you’re Azul’s friend, so I really want to talk to you about some things. Again, I’ll cover your wages if that’s gonna be a problem, I just need someone to talk to about this please!”

Oh, how delightful. Jade restrains himself enough to not make people turn to him, but some of his mirth leaks out in chuckles. “Alright,” he says. “I’ll sit with you.”

“Thanks, Jade.” The relief in the prince’s voice is almost palpable.

Jade takes the seat next to Rielle, as the latter scoots closer to the wall and moves his plate. He watches as Rielle scoops up some of the risotto, a mushroom slice sitting nicely atop the rice, and brings it to his mouth. The satisfied hum that leaves his lips is immediate. Jade grins.

When he swallows, he smiles at Jade. “That was delicious! Thanks for the recommendation.”

“Of course.” His grin remains. “Azul would not dare serve mediocre, after all.”

“Yeah. Of course Azul would never settle for less.” Rielle’s smile turns soft. “He’s never changed, huh.”

Jade would snicker at his lovey-dovey state, but even he cannot stop the small proud smile on his face as he thinks of all that Azul has accomplished. “He really hasn’t.”

“That’s so cool of him, you know.” Rielle takes a bite of the risotto, chews, and swallows. “If I didn’t know him from elementary, I would have thought that he was a genius at everything. Especially magic. But no, he’s worked hard, and just…”

He lets out a sigh as he relaxes on the couch. “Man, I feel like I’m out of his league.”

At this, Jade raises an amused brow. “You, the prince of the seven seas, favored by the King, saying that you are out of Azul’s league?”

“Well, yeah,” he shrugs, like it’s an obvious fact of life. “I have a name, some generational wealth I guess, and a nice voice probably. But like…”

His expression falls. A smile is still in place, but a forlorn fog clouds his eyes.

“I don’t really have anything otherwise.”

And just as it came, his sad expression vanishes, replaced with a wide-eyed expression. “Well, that’s not saying I’m not grateful for what I have! I know there are much more unfortunate people,” he says somewhat frantically. “It’s just that…”

He leans forward and eats another scoop of risotto. Jade simply watches him, no hint of impatience on him whatsoever.

Rielle leans back. “See, Father is really strict,” he says. “I have to do everything that he says. The extra lessons that I have to attend after school, the places I can go, whether I can study on land or not… he’s the one who makes the decisions. So everything that I have now, you can call me gifted, but none of those talents or gifts or belongings or friends that I have feel mine.”

He goes back for a few more bites of risotto. He chews, then swallows. “When I first heard of Azul granting wishes, I was so curious and awed at the same time. I mean, it’s just like the Sea Witch, you know! Sure, there was a price, but it’s still incredible. Even being able to take something like someone’s voice or swimming ability was so awesome to me. How can you be so talented to be able to do all that?

“I’ve always wanted to approach him, but I either had no time to, or I’m always being watched over. So the only time that I got to talk to him was when we graduated from middle school.”

Jade’s eyes brightened with familiarity. “Ah, yes. Azul mentioned that you came up to him that day.” He spares any details that Azul shared—he wants to hear Rielle’s side of the story for himself.

“Yeah!” Rielle nods excitedly. “So I met him after the ceremony and everyone was taking pics, and I was like, ‘Hey, you’re the guy who grants everyone’s wishes, right?’ And he looked at me and said, ‘Yes, that’s me.’ He looked so excited. And before I could say anything, he goes, ‘Let me guess. You wish for freedom.’”

Jade nods. He does remember Azul listing off upbringing and restrictions as the prince’s weak point.

“And then he says, ‘I know that you wouldn’t have much time to make friends or to stay after school because the King wouldn’t let you. You wear that smile well, but deep down, it bothers you, doesn’t it? You want more agency in your life, you want to be more free to make your own choices, you want something that’s yours.’”

The prince smiles, his eyes fondly gazing at distant memories. “I was so shocked. I couldn’t speak for a few seconds, you know. But suddenly, I felt safe. I felt like I could talk to someone about what I’ve been going through. And so I went, ‘You’re right! How did you know?!’ I was so ready to sign the contract he was bringing out. And then my Father’s advisor found me.”

Ah yes, Azul was frustrated about that, Jade recalls.

“In hindsight, that deal I was about to make with him involved giving up my voice, and I wouldn’t know how to explain that to anybody. And anyway, I also like being able to talk,” Rielle says. “And I know Azul’s wishes had high prices to pay. I’ve heard people rant about him, I knew he isn’t exactly the friendliest guy.

“But for the first time in my life, I was heard. I was heard without me even having to say anything.”

Jade’s eyebrows raise. If he was more expressive, he would have gasped loudly or exclaimed that he understands.

Rielle’s smile widens. “There’s something so good about being seen. I’ve always felt bad for feeling restricted because others don’t have it as bad, and I felt like I was being ungrateful. But Azul didn’t make me feel like I was awful for it. It’s kinda funny too, you know. Everyone called him bad, everyone pointed fingers and said, ‘He’s a villain!’ And yet, where were my heroes when I needed them? It wasn’t a hero who comforted me, it was the villain who understood me. It was the villain who told me that yes, I was fine, it was okay for me to feel that way and to wish for my freedom from Father.”

He stops. Perhaps to breathe. To recollect his thoughts. Jade does not say anything, letting Rielle’s words sink into his mind.

Finally, the silence is pierced by the prince. “I’m so sorry I just rambled like that,” he chuckles guiltily. “I really called you here to ask for some help with Azul, and I just gave my life’s story like that.”

“No worries, Rielle,” he answers with a smile. “I quite enjoyed listening to you. Though if I may ask, how did you manage to study here?”

“Oh, see, Azul really inspired me,” he responds. “Ever since, I really tried to get to talk to Azul again. I’d ask Father if we could eat at his family’s restaurant, but Father would always say, ‘We have the best food here, why would you wish to eat elsewhere?’ When I’d explore, I’d either be caught early, or I just never manage to see him again. And then I heard from the palace servants that you guys were invited to Night Raven College.”

“And you asked your father to let you study here,” Jade says.

Rielle nods. “Of course, he was disapproving at first. But I was persistent. I was so tired of never getting to see Azul, then suddenly, I hear that he was not gonna be at sea for years? I already lost the chance to finish our conversation. I didn’t want to lose any more chances. I even applied to Night Raven College and Royal Sword Academy behind his back. And I got the invites for both. Father was furious at first upon finding out, but when he saw that I was accepted for Royal Sword, he let me go. And I took that, because hey, at least it’s on the same island. Maybe I’d get to see Azul on the weekends, maybe.”

He laughs slightly at the memories that he must be seeing. “I didn’t know I had it in me to be persistent. Azul really did a number on me.”

“Truly an effect that Azul can have on others,” the vice dorm leader says.

Rielle looks at him. “Really? Have you been changed by him too?”

“I’ve known him for years. It would be inevitable that I would be influenced in some way,” Jade answers. “If you wish, I can tell you the places Azul goes to on the weekends so that you can at least try to meet him without having to put on a disguise.”

At this, Rielle’s eyes gleam with interest and excitement. “Oh that would be so awesome! Actually, wait.” He looks around the vicinity. “I think I have to go soon.”

“Oh, is it late already?” Jade checks his phone. Oh, how time flies. There is only 30 minutes left until Mostro Lounge closes. Fewer customers are seated, and some of the staff are probably at the back.

“I’ll just finish this and go,” the prince says, gesturing to his meal. “We can exchange Magicam handles and continue talking there if you want to.”

“That would be nice,” he responds.

They share their Magicam, follow each other, and Jade stands up, leaving Rielle to finish his food. He approaches him again but with the bill, and once the red-haired prince gets his change, he stands up and leaves the establishment. Goodbyes are not exchanged, as Jade is starting the cleanup from the counter.

But he watches Rielle leaving, thinking back to their conversation.

It wasn’t a hero who comforted me, it was the villain who understood me. It was the villain who told me that yes, I was fine.

How interesting, he thinks to himself. How interesting that Azul has made us feel the same way.

#twisted wonderland #twst #jade leech #twst rielle #twst mermay

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thefirstknife · 11 months

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Lightfall quest is also really good. Seems to be something that will go on for a bit, I think, since the point was to get Golden Age files and we heard only one file. Osiris said there's more but that he needs time to decrypt them.

Files are Chioma Esi's logs! She is a voiced character now! Massive win for the lesbians. Osiris also directly mentions her having a wife, just in case there are people who wanted to be in denial until now.

But before that, really interesting dialogue between Nimbus and Osiris towards the end of the quest. I'll transcribe it and add a link to the video later when it gets uploaded by Destiny Lore Vault:

Nimbus: You know, ever since we defeated Calus, I've been wondering a lot more about the Veil. I think... I think we take it for granted. It's always been here. We always assumed that the Ishtar Collective brought it with them on the Exodus ship, but... Osiris: But now you question that assumption. Nimbus: Nezarec seemed to know something, didn't he? When we were inside the Vex network, he said something about... Savathun. Osiris: My memories cast shadows of Savathun's. Echoes of the time she and I were bound by her dark magic. The more time we spend here, the clearer the outline of those shadows become. The Ishtar Collective didn't bring the Veil here, Nimbus. Savathun stole it from the Witness and left it here... quite possibly for the Ishtar Collective to find. Nimbus: Why? Why would she do that? Isn't she our enemy? Osiris: She is. And yet, at times, she is our ally... when it is convenient to her, and in that convenience, we find common ground. Or as a friend once said, the line between Light and Dark... is very thin. Nimbus: [grunts] I kinda hate that. Osiris: As do I.

That's really good information and an interesting angle to understand the Veil situation better. First, Neomuni clearly don't even know how the Veil got there. They either assumed (as Nimbus said) that it was brought by the founders or perhaps the founders told everyone they did so, to keep the situation in control. It's easier to build a civilisation on this power if you tell people you brought that power here, rather than telling them that an alien entity placed it there during the time when alien entities were destroying the solar system.

But outside of that, ever since that time, people took it for granted, as Nimbus put it. They didn't really question it or wonder about it. The Veil is there, it's powering Neomuna, it was brought by the founders to make the civilisation, that's it. There's nothing really to wonder about for the average citizen. Not to say that they don't care about it, but they don't view it as something that has to be explained or pondered. As I've said before, the Veil to the Neomuni is a power source. They're not into it because of strange paracausal powers or whatever the hell is going on with it and the Witness. It's nice to see that reading was the intended one; to Neomuni, the Veil is a power source and one that is taken for granted aka isn't being actively researched. Meaning, they can't answer our questions about what the Veil is.

And now transcript of Chioma's first log (very VERY likely that more will be coming throughout the season, maybe on a weekly basis? They wouldn't voice her for one message is my main assurance). The log is accessed in the big room overlooking the Veil:

The log transcript (link):

Chioma Esi, personal log: incidental. Maya arrived yesterday with the Exodus Indigo. I should be relieved, but... in light of the current situation, I... I don't feel much of anything. We're presently en route from Hyperion to the terraformed surface of Neptune. I'm scared. I'm so scared! We don't even know what we've lost. Comms are dead. It's just silence everywhere. We might be all that's left. Maya was right about everything. The cult, the end... how we'll survive. [sighs] I hate this.

Some interesting points right away! Hyperion has been long established as a place where Chioma Esi was working. This is also giving us the Exodus Indigo route: Maya was on the colony ship which made a stop at Hyperion to pick up Chioma (and possibly other people). Shortly after they left Hyperion, the events of Winterbite lore happened where the colony ship was attacked by an unknown entity which left Winterbite in the hull.

Another neat point is that Chioma mentioned that a part of Neptune's surface was already terraformed. This gives us some crucial details; Exodus Indigo was going to Neptune on purpose and didn't just have to land there as an emergency escape. Going there was deliberate which also makes sense given that previously an ECHO ship crashed on Neptune. This makes it's more likely that Maya knew about the ECHO ship crash and about Soteria's possible survival and that Exodus Indigo followed that trail deliberately. The mention of surface being terraformed already also means that the colony was well underway of being established following the ECHO ship crash. Neptune was being hard-prepared to fit a colony.

This also means that Exodus Indigo was most likely a very well known mission and that Neomuna was not originally planned as something secret. They only went dark after making an assumption that they may be the only ones who survived the Collapse, which Chioma mentions in this log! Comms went silent and they had no idea what was going on; if they wanted to ensure the survival of the human species, they had to also assume that they're the only ones left and hide.

Chioma also mentions that "Maya was right about everything." She specifically mentions "the cult" which is Future War Cult, founded by Maya in the Golden Age. FWC was investigating something called the Device, a Vex-tech based machine capable of predicting the future. The cult would eventually regain access to the Device and use it well into the present day for the same purpose. Chioma also mentions "the end" as she muses about Maya being right about everything. Strange and possibly concerning. What exactly did Maya see through the Device?

This is some wild stuff, especially to me now after I've made a really long post about some curious connections between the concept of the history and mind of the universe and how it tends to be adjacent to Vex predictive technology. I mentioned Maya, Future War Cult and the Device in this post as well, trying to see if there's anything worth connecting in an analysis. Chioma alluding to the cult again the first time we've ever heard her voiced is intriguing. I'm not sure if this is something that will continue to be explored and if these connections are important, but it definitely felt like an important point to add into this fairly short voice line that specifies about Maya having been right "about everything," "the cult" and "the end."

I'm really excited to see if we'll get more and I assume we will. Osiris was very direct about us having to protect these logs and that there's a lot of them, but that he will have to decrypt them first. If we genuinely get more logs, it will be an incredible treat to hear actual voices from the Golden Age and the Collapse, of people who founded Neomuna and their first encounters with the Veil and possibly their original research into it.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the deep #season of the deep spoilers #chioma #veil log #long post #lore vibing #i've binged everything that released today in one sitting in 5 hours i am enchanted #really good start #and definitely hoping to hear more of chioma. genuinely don't believe they would voice her for one message #and osiris very explicitly said 'i'm gonna go decrypt the rest'#extremely exciting little addition on top of already banger season

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7greentears · 1 year

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CLIP send me an email about the recent take down of the inking pen I uploaded. I'm not quite sure what it was that got it taken down. Perhaps the drawing I used as an example used some paper textures that weren't mine.

I'll have it edited and up later today. Sorry to those who didn't get to download the brush.

#rambles from gabe

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 10 months

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Hakuoki SSL Hakuo Gakuen Story Vol 3. Saito·Kaoru-hen

...have i mentioned that i hate summer? because i hate summer.

Anyway, this was originally published in GS杂志2014年5月号. I've realized that these stories were re-published in one of the SSL books because I sorta remember graphics for these stories... and while I'm pretty sure I've uploaded them before, I am waaaay too lazy to go look them up right now.

Hakuoki SSL Hakuo Gakuen Story Vol 3. Saito·Kaoru-hen

Translation by KumoriYami

This is what happened the day after the entrance ceremony in April.

"Although you haven't been enrolled for a long time, since you've become a member of the Disciplinary Committee, you will confirming which students are late from the list of names with me every morning.."

“That's fine."

"Your name is Nagumo, right? Why do you want to join the Disciplinary Committee?

"It doesn't matter... I guess I don't have a reason.

"Ah, my apologies. I didn't intend to be so intrusive, but with the work the Disciplinary Committee does, it's easy to attract the envy of the other students. That's why, very few students are willing to take on this role. It can even be said that there are very students who would volunteer to become a member of the Disciplinary Committee."

"...Then, why did you join the Disciplinary Committee."

"Me? That… I thought that in order have the ideal campus life, it's necessary to have disciplinary standards adhered to. After becoming high schoolers, many students mistakenly believe that they've become adults, and they shout about the need for freedom. However, by being punctual… only by complying with these rules can we be strict with ourselves, compete with others, and improve the lives of those around us. I think that's the attitude that a real high school student should have."

“How can you speak so rigidly/inflexibly, or talk about such old-fashioned concepts."

"It's true, perhaps the concepts are old-fashioned. However, I believe that it's one of the ways to put the basic idea of "becoming a samurai" at Hakuo Gakuen into practice."

"It doesn't matter what other people think of me. Because my goal as a member of the Disciplinary Commiittee is to be able to stand here every morning, just like I'm doing now."

"I see… with a member of the Disciplinary Committee standing here, it's possible that the students will realize that they are late. Well, I didn't expect to learn this from you as a first year. Nagumo, you'll become a splendid member of the Disciplinary Committee. Please look after me in the future."

"…….It doesn't matter. I'm saying that this wasn't for the sake of becoming a member of the Disciplinary Committe."

"In any case, what's with the notebook that you've been holding in your hand just now?"

"Ah, this? This is… I use it to keep a list of the students' names who aren't suitable (for Chizuru). If I don't record their names and they do their bad points beforehand, it will cause problems later (when thinking about revenge). Then, Ill be able to get a firm handle on their attitudes (towards Chizuru). (As an older brother) this is what i whould be doing."

"So that's how it is. To get those students who are not suitable to Hakuo Gakuen to make fresh starts… how reliable."

"I always feel… that we're never on the same page."

"No, I feel that I've been able to adequately understand your thoughts. Alright, let's start our work as members of the Disciplinary Committee!"

"Oh, oohh."

"Good morning, Saito-senpai!"

"Morning, Yukimura... Nn, there' still quite a lot of time before homeroon. You need to remember to be like this in the future and ensure that you hvae plenty of time to spare before getting here."

"Yes, I'll try to do that!"

"Speaking of which, whre is Heisuke? You didn't go to school together today?"

"He apparently has morning practice today, so he left for school very early..."

"No, I didn't seem him… maybe I just didn't notice him. You don't need to worry about it, just head to your classroom."

"Yes... uh, by the way, why is Kaoru standing here?"

"Hmph, you'd actually question someone like this as soon as you see them. Can't you even say hello in the morning?"

"Ah... um, I'm sorry. Good morning, Kaoru."

"……Morning."

"Uh, Kaoru, you... what are you doing here?"

"It appears that my slow-witted younger sister didn't notice that I was wearing this armband, so I'll be merciful and tell you. I became a member of the Disciplinary Committee."

"Kaoru became a member of the Disciplinary Committee!?"

"Indeed. Nagumo is a very reliable member of the Disciplinary Committee. I hope that you'll continue to support him in the future.."

"Ha... yes."

"...That's how it is."

"Ye-Yes. Please look after me."

"Good, then let's start the day at Hakuo Gakuen, Yukimura."

"……Yes!"

---to be continued---

Just in case: Kaoru vs Chizuru for colours.

#hakuoki #hakuouki #hakuoki ssl #hakuoki other translation #saito hajime #nagumo kaoru #yukimura chizuru

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fives-girlfriend · 1 year

Text

A/N: New here? Start at First Impressions, part 1!

Lockdown, part 2

Perhaps Asha isn't as much of an outsider with Clone Force 99 as she thinks she is.

Read Part 1

Characters: TBB, OC (Asha Kurr)

Warnings: Minor descriptions of injuries, some mild dissociation, general anxiety. Not much in terms of bad.

Word count: 2,404

-----------------------------------------------

Asha could hardly recall the rendezvous. Everything was an adrenaline-addled blur; she remembered Echo's voice over comms, informing them that they were in position. She remembered hearing the thudding of footsteps and nearly jerking out her blaster on instinct until she saw Tech and Crosshair coming up the rise. She hardly remembered when Hunter and Wrecker arrived a minute later, smelling of smoke and burnt fuel. The six of them made a mad dash for the ship, and from then, Asha could finally let the ringing in her ears fade. Her entire body was on autopilot as they left planetside; she sat down in one of the crash seats, and from within the cockpit, she could hear Hunter and Echo reconvening while Tech got them all into hyperspace.

"I couldn't get much before the lockdown hit," Echo stated, "nothing that we don't already know. But I think I might've been able to pull a base of operations, a larger outpost than the one we just hit. When I'm able, I'll upload the information to the Commander."

"It's better than nothing," Hunter sighed. "We got what we came for, that's what matters. How's your…?"

"...short," Echo replied with a hollow chuckle. "Emergency removal. It was either this, or take the outlet with us. We didn't have the time to cut through the wall. She can replace it soon enough, there should be spare parts in storage."

Everything fell silent after that, at least to Asha's perspective. She was already putting away her new gear, now smudged with dust and dirt and soot. She felt like she was floating, each motion nearly robotic as she stashed away her gear and ambled her way to find Echo. She still had to help him - check on him, see how he was doing. But before she could even think to reach him, a warm, calloused hand rested on her shoulder, partially yanking her from her daze.

Hunter looked down at her, and Asha could see in his eyes the moment their gazes met just how concerned he was. For a moment, she was puzzled - but it slowly dawned on her as she fully took in where it was that they were. They were in hyperspace now, and had been for at least several minutes. They had left the surface some time ago. She had hardly realized it - it had felt more like seconds. She was suddenly very acutely aware of how hard her heart was pounding, and she actually tried to will it to slow. And as if it were even possible, her crimson face flushed an even darker red in embarrassment and shame, tinting her white facial markings a rosy pink.

"...Asha, relax." Hunter's voice was low and even as he spoke, and Asha took a shaking breath. "It's done. You can breathe now. Echo told me what happened."

That somehow only served to worsen Asha's anxious tension, having been so lost in her own head that she hadn't even heard the conversation barely a room away. What did he tell him? That she nearly fell? That she panicked? That she had mutilated him, that she could hardly think the entire time?

Hunter sighed. He could hear the way her heart thudded even faster, and he moved to stand in front of her, both hands now resting on her shoulders. "You did good. You were caught in a situation neither of you were prepared for, and you adapted. The first field mission is never easy. As far as those go… you did exactly what you were supposed to."

Asha's breath caught, then slowly left her in a quiet exhale. She could see just the scarcest nod from Hunter - breathe. Just breathe. She did good. She did what she was supposed to. She…

"...I… have to go help Echo," Asha muttered, straightening herself up and rolling her shoulder. The knot in the muscle was painfully tense, and no doubt that her shirt was just barely covering a harsh bruise from pulling it so sharply… Hunter gave her a bit of a look, to which Asha could only sigh. "I'll take care of it once Echo and I are done, okay? I'll live. It's just a pulled muscle."

"Just… let us know if we can help," Hunter said softly, giving her a small pat on her uninjured shoulder before dipping away back into the ship proper. Asha smiled for a moment, gentle and fond, before carefully making her way down into storage to find a replacement scomp, no doubt buried under the errant piles of scrap she and Tech had both jointly accumulated.

—

"Echo?" Asha called out as she stepped into the cockpit, a few things in her arms - a replacement scomp, her toolkit, a small twist-jar of bacta gel for bruising. "Got a sec?"

Echo was currently occupying the copilot seat, and when he swiveled around to look at her, he took in all she was holding and actually smiled. "There you are. Come on, let's get to it - I just wanna get this over with, if… that's alright with you."

"Perfectly fine," Asha said softly as she set down everything she had and knelt down in front of him, picking up the scomp and lining it up with its port. "Want me to walk you through it again?"

"...not this time," Echo responded, a bit quieter. "If- if you wouldn't mind. I kind of just want it to be done with."

"Fine by me." Asha didn't argue, and instead set straight to work. "I've done this fix a million times before, okay? I'm gonna deactivate the pros-"

Echo shot her a look, and she quickly shut her mouth. Force of habit, she realized. Wordlessly, Asha deactivated his prosthetic arm, and set to work on reattaching the scomp to its port. It was a silent procedure, at least. Everyone seemed rather tired out from the mission, and decompression was sorely needed. The fix, all in all, took maybe five minutes. The second she was done, Asha reactivated his arm, and sat back on her haunches with a smile. "And there we go. Move your elbow for me?"

Echo did so, going through the motions as he tested out the maneuverability of his arm once again.

"Good. Wanna just, plug into the outlet real quick so we can make sure it works? I've no doubt in my work, of course, it's just a routine diagnostic and-"

"And now you're sounding like Tech," Echo replied with a small smirk, earning a gaping look from Asha that quickly melted into a laugh the second she noticed that the aforementioned pilot had turned to look at them, an incredulous look on his face. Asha was right, though - her work was flawless. When plugged in, his arm was as good as new.

Satisfied, Asha opted to take the now-unoccupied copilot seat, and work on applying the bacta gel she had brought along to her pulled shoulder. However, upon moving to shift her arm out of its sleeve, she hissed in pain and had to stop. Her range of movement was now severely stunted thanks to that strained muscle, and even just getting it out of her shirt to try and heal it was proving problematic. Frustrated and embarrassed, Asha started to stand so she could go somewhere private to try and work it out, but she was stopped when a surprisingly gentle hand settled on her uninjured shoulder.

"Let me help," Echo said softly, as he stepped behind Asha. "Here, lean forward a bit. What do you need?"

His forwardness genuinely shocked her, all things considered. In her mind, she was still more or less just a nuisance to this squad - a very stubborn nuisance, one that was determined to do what she was assigned to do, and make friends while doing it. She felt that her presence was an inconvenience to them at best. But when Echo asked that gentle question - what do you need? - a slight flush came to Asha's face as she glanced over her shoulder.

"...I-I just wanna get my arm out of my sleeve so I can- so I can get this gel on my shoulder. I pulled it when you caught me from falling off the roof back there, heh…" she muttered, rather embarrassed by her vulnerability. A certain look crossed Echo's face, and he lightly shook his head while he moved to start helping her carefully shift her arm out of the confines of her top, a little bit at a time.

"You're never going to stop helping me before taking care of yourself, aren't you? This is the second time already, Asha," he chided her, but nothing in his tone even hinted at the idea of anger. Asha let out an airy chuckle, not looking back at him but instead keeping her gaze forward at the endless expanse of hyperspace outside.

"It's my job to help you, Echo. Simple as that."

"Is that the only reason you're so adamant, then? Just because it's your job?" he asked, adding on a small "Here, hold this for me." as he passed the small jar of gel to Asha for her to hold. Practiced fingers smeared the cool blue substance onto the harsh bruise that was forming on her strained muscle, and her form sagged in relief as the ache began to ease.

"...started out that way," Asha mumbled. "Rex sent me here. He and I worked together before, and I don't take his orders lightly. I was… determined to do right by him. Then I actually started getting to know you guys, and…"

She trailed off as Echo finished applying the medicine, and she went to close the jar again, already starting to feel better thanks to his help. "I realized really quickly that this wasn't just another deployment. I… I hadn't worked with another battalion since I left the 501st, so I was… I-I was keeping things stiff and rigid. I wanted to keep a distance."

"You are remarkably bad at that," Tech suddenly spoke up from the pilot's seat, making Asha jump - she had genuinely forgotten he was there. When he saw the scandalized look on her face, he tilted his head slightly as if confused by her reaction. "I'm only speaking based on my observations. You've shown from the moment you set foot into our barracks that you have a remarkable tendency to get attached to people quickly. Keeping your distance was never an option for you, I figured that much was obvious."

Asha was dumbfounded, and she heard a quick exhale behind her that she knew was a split-second attempt at hiding a laugh. She rolled her eyes and moved to stand up, looking all sorts of playfully annoyed. "You guys are the worst. So what if I wanna actually be your friend now, huh? Would that really be so bad?"

Echo sighed, and he looked over to Asha with a gentle smile. She'd shown him by now what it is she was capable of - how she treated them. This wasn't just another assignment to her, despite how much she cited it as such. "No, Asha… that wouldn't be bad at all."

—

The gunner loft was Asha's sanctuary. Whenever she wanted space, or just a place to be comfortable, this was the spot to do it. That sanctuary wasn't going to last for much longer at the moment though, not as Asha peeked up from her datapad at the first hint of movement out of the corner of her eye. And there Crosshair stood in front of the ladder leading up, his perpetual scowl somehow deepened, body tense, an air of such utter vitriol emanating from him that it made Asha's heart pick up. He didn't even wait for her to speak, cutting her off the moment she opened her mouth.

"I don't know what it is you're playing at, or how you've got everyone fooled," he spat, "but you're going to have to try harder than that."

"Wh- what-?" Asha quickly tried to retort, but Crosshair was as quick on the draw as ever.

"Don't play dumb, mechanic," he continued. "Humor me. Your record showed that you went months without any contact whatsoever from the army. You left your old assignment - not dismissed, left - and went radio silent. What happened between you and the 501st, hm? If you're so adamant about being friendly, why don't you go ahead and tell us what you're hiding-"

“Crosshair!” Hunter’s voice cut the air like a knife, silencing his brother as he quickly stepped forward to put himself between the two. Asha looked genuinely startled, and Crosshair somehow looked even more bitter than before. “That’s enough. What’s gotten into you?”

Crosshair didn’t grace Hunter with a response. Instead, he backed down – not without shooting a glare to both Asha and his brother, before stalking off to head below deck. Hunter didn’t flinch, and Asha let out a low, anxiety-riddled sigh. Hunter was, at this point, entirely used to her heart pounding in fear and worry, and he turned to face her with a calm, but remorseful expression. “...I’m sorry, Asha. He’s… never been one to trust outsiders. He’ll come around eventually.”

“Yeah, I… I’m used to being the odd one out, heh,” Asha replied with a hollow chuckle, setting down her datapad. “Believe me, I’ve gotten way worse than some weird accusations thrown around at me. I… I’ll cope with it.”

“...well, if it means anything to you,” Hunter began, a small smirk drawing up on his lips, “we’re all the odd ones out in this squad. So to me, it seems like you fit right in.”

At that, Asha actually laughed – and Hunter could count it as a win that he got her to smile. With the tension dissipated, eventually Asha was once again left alone – and a certain sort of quiet descended over her as she watched hyperspace swirl by from outside the gunner loft. She was free to let her mind wander, and it kept wandering back to Crosshair’s accusation.

She never wanted to leave the 501st, not really. She traced shapeless patterns on the back of her hand as she stared out the window, and leaned her head back as her eyes eventually slipped closed, lost in thought. At least she still had their memories, she thought.

A few silent tears slipped down her cheeks.

At least she still had their memories together.

#tbb #star wars oc #crosshair #wrecker #tech #hunter #echo #sci writes #oc: asha kurr #THE LONG AWAITED PART 2 YAY #i had no idea how to end it lmao–#neon lanes

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acesknights · 8 months

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Final Prayer

- oc x canon [Warlock x Phillip Graves]

Word Count : 782 Summary: Warlock spending his final moments questioning the idea of there possibly being a 'higher being' tags: Character death,religous topics

Note: babies first time uploading a drabble onto tumblr instead of ao3 so i have completely zero clue what i am doing, possibly out of character too but i wrote this at 3am with a lack of sleep.

Warlock didn't consider himself to be religious at all.

Religion is one of those topics that really only get brought up in dire situations, in life or death situations, or even sat on your grandparents porch on a warm summer evening. It's always one of those things that aren't really thought about in a day to day life until you're sat down with another person and either one of you brings it up.

"Shadow 0-1, this is Warlock - how copy?"

Being religious means that you spend your life believing and hoping that a higher and greater being exists and is watching over you. A being that knows each sin one has committed and each good deed one has done.

"Warlock this is Shadow 0-1, hear you loud an' clear"

He never considered himself religious, he was brought up in a Catholic household yet never really took in the lessons all those Sundays at church had tried to tell him.

Religion was a topic he never delved upon in life. He'd witnessed his own fair share of soldiers cry out for their mother's or even start praying before having any remaining will of life get drained from them moments later.

Religion is one of those topics that really only get brought up in dire situations.

"Sir- you ever consider yourself religious..?"

Yet here he was, layed down on a patch of discoloured and drought-induced grass, his ghillie suit caked in a mixture of dried up mud and his own blood.

"I'd like to consider m'self religious warlock"

Adrian was said to never consider himself religious.

Yet in that moment he had caught himself starting to shakily place one of his hands onto his heart, its pace unsteady - ready to finally go to rest in the confines of its bone and muscle cage.

And prayed.

Prayed to make it out of this one.

Prayed to be able to see his loved ones face just one more time.

"And you? You consider yourself religious at all hun?"

'Hun'

By holy god would he miss hearing those three lettered words of endearment.

"warlock?.."

How long has he been like this? Laying on the grass, a gaping hole in his side, a hole that housed the bullet from the enemy.

Lucky shot

Time felt slow, too slow. Painstakingly and unbearably slow.

Was a higher being taking pity on his poor mortal life? Was a god watching over him?

For once Adrian hoped so.

Hope

"Adrian?.. Speak to me dammit!"

"phil, sir- 'm not making it"

A small chuckle had left his soft lips, a chuckle he never thought he'd have to hear. Something he didn't think anyone would have to hear at all. Did bleeding out always take this long?

He'd never consider himself to be the type of person to get down on their knees at an alter and pray away all their sins, ask for forgiveness from the lord or even pray for others. Yet here he was, tears pricking up in the corner of his eyes, rethinking his entire life and his actions in the last few moments of his rather short and uneventful life.

"not enough time.. For assistance.. Just want to... hear you talk a little bit more"

Talk, he can talk, talk to his dying lover who promised they'd end up retired, sat on the old wooden porch on Phillips Country ranch in the southern parts of texas. Perhaps with a dog, a German shepherd would've been nice. Perhaps even a few grey hairs starting to show up in either of their hair.

Oh would he have loved to see that ranch Phillip promised him the night before that he'd take him to. The same night they were sitting in his office, sharing a small bottle of brandy.. or was it whiskey?

"You did good dear, proud of ya - i'll take you to that ranch another' time hm?"

Everything sounded muffled for him now, his vision fading in an uneven and unfamiliar pattern. Shaky breaths leaving his lips as he weakly nodded.

Our Father, who art in heaven,

Breath in

hallowed be thy name;

thy kingdom come;

Fade out

thy will be done;

on earth as it is in heaven.

Fade in

Give us this day our daily bread.

Breath out

And forgive us our trespasses,

Breath in

as we forgive those who trespass against us.

...

Breath out.

Warlock didn't consider himself to be religious at all. The thought of religion only crossed his mind once more as he lay on his grass covered deathbed. Small,sharp,breaths filling his ears as he finally accepted the fact that this higher being is granting him the time to forever lay and rest.

#fanfic #fanfiction #drabble #oc x canon #oc drabbles #phillip graves #cod #cod oc #oc death #non canon oc death #not sure yet on that last tag #religion #catholicism #call of duty #cod mw2 #aceswriting

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iviarellereads · 5 months

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The Plan, Such As It Is

tl;dr: System Collapse finishes the Murderbot series on Christmas. Last week of the year is a break, and then it's the Wheel of Time with likely between-book breaks for one-offs or shorter series, and someday maybe Alecto the Ninth.

I had a great time watching Desert Bus, and helping with the VST documenting and editing and uploading clips of the process of raising over a million dollars (over ten million in the lifetime of the event!) for a good cause. A most excellent week of "restoring my faith in humanity". But that's a little beside the point of this post.

I also got my hands on System Collapse, but because of how my brain works, I won't be reading it ahead, so we're going to have lots of fun as I read it for the first time in the format of the blog. Let's see if my style changes, if my predictions are well on or off the mark. (I have seen a few posts that spoiled a few moments and character bits, but I'm not concerned about those. I rarely feel like learning things that happen "ruins" anything about an experience anyway. If the story's well told, it's still fun to experience for myself.)

After System Collapse, well, that's the end of Murderbot to-date. And, I haven't run any polls for covering other things. That's because I'm pretty well set on rereading the Wheel of Time series, and revising my previous notes to this format.

It's something I could keep putting off, but the show has gotten so good, and it reminds me of all the things about the books that I loved so much (and how the show is fixing some things I didn't love). I'll also be very excited to do full-series spoiler posts again, Murderbot didn't have a lot that I felt needed commenting on, but the Wheel? Oh, buddy.

But, the caveat here is that the Wheel of Time has, well, fifteen very large books. Eleven thousand pages, over four million words. Coverage would take about three years if I didn't take breaks for other books in between, and I definitely will, so we're gonna be here for a while. I've said before that I was hesitant to cover Discworld for this, and I still am. Discworld has over forty books just in the main series besides the spinoffs, with a comparable total wordcount to WoT. Several of those, I have negative interest in ever rereading. Even if they're largely shorter than WoT bricks, they're also trickier to split, and I won't have as much context to share about them that isn't available elsewhere already. Whereas, the Wheel of Time lacks a lot of spoiler-free resources in print, despite the series being almost 35 years old. There was a huge influx of podcast coverage once the show publicity ramped up, but not so much blog style content. The few prologues and chapters that do need splitting, I've already calculated out from the first time I took the notes.

Mind you, I will be finding time for Alecto the Ninth coverage when Tamsyn Muir finally graces us with her presence, I'll just take a break between whichever WoT books I'm up to by then. And if something else strikes my fancy, I might alternate books. Like, making it through the Eye of the World might scratch the itch well enough, and make me want to dig into the Princess Bride as I threatened to once before, or perhaps when I reach my least favourite sequence of books in the middle, I'll alternate them with the His Dark Materials trilogy, though probably not its supplementary later materials because I'm still refusing to read the Book of Dust.

I totally understand if folks who followed me for other stuff want to jump ship when my WoT coverage starts. I love and can recommend it with some massive content notes and caveats which will be in my intro post for it, but it's not for everyone and treating it like a universal joy is nonsense. But, especially if you can get a library borrow of the first book, whether you get it in print or ebook or either of the incredible audiobook narrations (the full series by Michael Kramer and Kate Reading, or the first three are now available narrated by Rosamund Pike, who plays the character of Moiraine Sedai on the show), I hope you'll give it a try with me, and my analysis and commentary might help pull you into a series that's otherwise quite intimidating.

So, System Collapse will finish posting on Christmas, I think I'll take the last week of the year as a breather, and the Wheel of Time will kick off my 2024. I hope you'll consider sticking around and reading with me, especially my Locked Tomb girlies because I've said it before and I'll say it again, these two stories have SO much in common, hashtag Women's Wrongs and unreliable narrators. And, I am gonna try to break it up every so often since these are LONG books, most of them have 40+ chapters so will be two months apiece. But either way, if I'm gonna follow my heart, it's gotta be next.

#blog housekeeping

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twotangledsisters · 1 year

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I have a fanfic sketchbook

Basically a 'sketchbook' where I create art to do with fanfics I enjoyed.

I started it recently as I'll soon be finishing my standard tts sketchbook.

And I was talking about how I couldn't really share the stuff in it and this brought up some confusion.

"Why not?"

And my first reaction is, because I don't like tagging people. Which is definitely something I go through. I mean, I did a whole post about how even posting feels like taking up space, tagging people? Oh my goodness, nightmares!

Obviously, this is stupid.

But as I added the finishing touched to two pieces today, I actually realised there' are a few more reasons that are perhaps slightly more reasonable:

1.- What if I try to draw a scene and the way I saw that scene was completely different from the author?

I have aphantasia, dyslexia and a terrible memory. The chances of me getting it right are slim!

And that would make me feel kinda bad...

2.- It's a sketchbook. Everybody handles sketchbooks differently, mine are pure chaos. It's not me doing a drawing of a scene I liked in that fanfic, it's me capturing the vibes through paper cutouts! It's me testing out ridiculous combinations of materials that should not go together...

It's not really art you give somebody, it's art you accumulate in a specific space chosen for chaos.

3.- I really don't like tagging people... Same as like messaging first. I take a long time to feel comfortable and come to terms with the fact certain people are fine with that. I really don't like tagging people... Which is stupid cause every time I get tagged even when it's just 'look at this thing', I get super excited...

Which leads into the thought... Even if the art is bad, and weird, and a terrible representation of the fic... I enjoyed a fic enough to make art. Doesn't the author to deserve to know and see that?

BUT THEN... Am I gonna be less comfortable making art if I feel a responsibility to later share it?

Also, am I accidentally sending the message that those fics who I don't make art for that they were not worthy? When most likely I just either did not come up with an idea, it's still on my to do list. I forgot because I cannot stress enough: I have the memory of a 1970s hard rive.

So yeah, here I am overthinking to a fault about whether I should upload a photo of a sketchbook piece for five people to see and nobody else think about as deeply as me.

Opinions?

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youcancallmesarid · 2 years

Note

Hey! So, since we have not much kaiju 8 content I wanted to request something: How about some Fluff with Hoshina? I've been into watercolour painting a lot lately, so how about an s/o who wants to come with the perfect painting just to give it to him? Something of the sort, if it's alright ^^

Also I wanted to wish you luck on writing stories... Im sure they'll turn out great and as you practice you'll get more confident and improve on them, so I hope to see you (and request other things) in the future! 🍀

Thank you and remember to stay hydrated!

- ❄️

Hello! I apologize for the late upload, but here's your request! It might not be as good as you expect, but I hope it's still good enough :) If I made any mistakes, you are free to give off your constructive criticism.

______________________________________________________________

It has been a while since Hoshina and Y/n have spent some actual bonding time together due to Hoshina being busy with his occupation, but that gave Y/n the opportunity to create a painting as a gift just for him. They have been working on it for quite a while now, but now they have finally finished, now only thinking about how to give it to him, as they wanted to make it more special.

they then went outside of their shared home to take a breather. Perhaps an idea may come to their mind while taking a walk. As they were walking around the area, they came across a store containing sticky notes and saw a child holding a treasure chest-looking side-bag beside the sticky notes, giving an idea on how they'll gift the painting to Hoshina.

They quickly went into the store to Purchase some sticky notes and went home. Once they arrived, they started writing down on the sticky notes and posting them around their shared home, starting from the wall beside the front door to make the sticky note noticeable. The rest lead all the way to their shared bedroom, which was not very far.

An hour later, Hoshina arrives home from work. However, his s/o wasn't there to greet him like usual, so he thought they were probably still taking a nap, but he noticed that the house was quiet, not the usual silence he was used to, but there was something different about it. As he was taking off his shoes to replace them with his house slippers, a sticky note was in the corner of his eye.

The note said, "Your soft violet hair that reminds me of a violet gladiolus, gives off such a pleasant smell that one cannot help but bury themselves in it." He chuckles.

Then he saw another note "Your red eyes that I can't help but look into, burn with determination and passion."

"Your body that always gives me the sweetest and loveliest of hugs, especially when I feel down, is filled with scars from all the battles you've been through."

"Your strong will to protect those around you, even if you had to sacrifice yourself, always had the room to make me feel like the happiest person that ever existed."

"I could go on and on about all the things I love about you, but there's so many I could never write it down nor tell you myself. So instead, I decided to put it into a portrait."

The last note said, which was right on the door to their bedroom. Hoshina opened the door to find a portrait of himself. On the painting, he had a small but peaceful and genuine smile plastered across his face with his wearing a tattered version of his uniform, showing both old and new scars as violet gladioli and white heather flowers adorned the floor with the sun setting down on him in the background.

Hoshina adorns a look of awe and admiration, enamored by the beauty of the painting. He stayed silent, thankful that he was blessed with such a talented and loving s/o.

Y/n appears by the bedroom door, looking at him nervously "so..? Do you like the painting..?" Hoshina turns around and embraces them in his arms "thank you, I'll cherish this for the rest of my life, and I promise to protect you until my last breath so that you can be happy." He declares, pressing his forehead against his s/o's "Just don't die on me, alright? I can't be completely happy if one of my greatest joys is gone forever."

"no promises" Hoshina teases.

Y/n steps on his foot as he chuckles in return. The couple continued to hold each other in silence, relishing the moment.

#kaiju no. 8 #xreader #soshiro hoshina x reader #kaiju no. 8 x reader #manga #manga x reader #'

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antiquatedplumbobs · 1 year

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hello, short question: will your historical save be only on brindlenton bay or also the base scenarios?

Hi!

My historical save file will only be Brindleton Bay. Doing one world is about all I can handle as of right now. Perhaps in the future I'll expand to other worlds, but it would probably be for later decades. Maybe save world is a better description, but I've seen save file used for ones that only include a couple of worlds. Let me know guys if you think I should refer to it differently.

I don't really like the base game worlds very much, there's lots of modern buildings in the background and that really pulls me out. I think it's a bit unlikely I'll ever do a whole save file for one of those worlds. Brindleton Bay is my favorite world because it works well for historical but also reminds me of my home in New England.

I do plan to upload the builds included in the save file separately so if you don't have cats and dogs you should still be able to get the builds individually, though that pack is used pretty heavily in the building as I like things to match their worlds.

I would never tell people they have to get a pack to enjoy my builds, you can always renovate and add your own stuff to make it work with what packs you have. But I do have to say, I highly recommend Cats and Dogs as a pack. The world and build objects are just unparalleled to me, I think it makes the perfect little town for historical sims. And if you like to play in an American inspired setting Brindleton Bay is really the only option to me that works for historical. It's up there for me with seasons as the most necessary pack honestly. I think its a bit slept on since people thing it only adds pets and their interactions, but I think it's at least equal to get together in terms of value if not surpassing it.

I'm working on another base game build actually and may do more in the future, so maybe you'll be able to put together your own save file with everything!

#antiqueasks #antiqueask #ask #save file

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laurarolla · 2 months

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Lost Planet is finished but not entirely uploaded yet, will be by tomorrow probably. Time for thoughts on it!

Overall, it was a nice, short campaign that had just enough variety for the length except the final stage but I'll get to that in a bit. Most levels took about 30 to 45 minutes and there were 11 missions. The game feels a bit awkward to play in terms of reticle speed and general weapon precision and lethality, and the tutorial really doesn't teach you all the important information, although thankfully each time you get in a new VS (the game's mechs), you get a control popup that tells you what it can do, excluding the VTX-40A since it plays exactly like the VTX-140 (that kinda round mech in the playlist picture). The grapple is awkward as it doesn't grab anything but walls, so you get launched straight up after grappling and have to land on the platform you want to land on, even if you want to grapple to a platform below you. The story is alright, with shades of Gundam, Dune, and Tekkaman Blade here and there, and I also have to wonder if some of the game's elements started as some kind of Bionic Commando project way, WAY early on and just had a few bits left over after completely changing to a mech piloting shooter.

The game's difficulty is my biggest complaint. I'm sure that on Hard mode it's probably more of an actual challenge, but the amount of times it felt like there was some tiny thing the game did to increase the difficulty were a bit hard to ignore. Taking away weapons and thermal energy between gameplay sections, throwing a few one hit kill hazards at you from unexpected places, and a couple missions where you have to win a fight with the limited health bar of your VS and die instantly if its defeated. None of these situations really hurt the game overall with one exception: the final level. In that stage, you are in control of the L-P-9999 aerial combat VS, starting with a max load of 9999 thermal energy and equipped with sword arms and a vulcan cannon that is really only good for shooting down missiles in the final battle. You have to get used to a new control scheme, quickly reach the final boss area (because your thermal energy clock is ticking), and then figure out, mostly through trial and error, how to actually fight the final boss. It took me quite a few tries to beat him and it didn't feel as much like I'd learned how to use the machine as it did that I finally learned when the safe windows to attack were. I got him with very little health left in no small part because I was fighting with the controls, which don't feel quite like anything I've ever used in a mech piloting game before, of which I have played many. I guess what I'm saying is that if you want a cool mecha air combat sword fight, go pick up Zone of the Enders The 2nd Runner: MARS on steam instead. That game's full of those exact experiences.

I'm glad I played through Lost Planet, as it feels like something that other creators have managed to perfect perhaps by learning some lessons about what felt awkward in this game. I do also own Lost Planet 3, so that might come up later on, but unfortunately Lost Planet 2 as well as the definitive edition of Lost Planet 1 are both trapped in Games for Windows Live purgatory for who knows how long.

To end on a particularly positive note, I like all the mechanical and creature design in this game. The mechs almost all immediately communicate their gimmick or general usefulness, and the Akrid are neat enemies to fight with great designs.

#backlog resolution #lost planet #lost planet extreme condition #video games #gaming #review

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cloudshoregames · 5 months

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Schematics Acquired: BTE Pregen Pack 1 Now Available! (+updates)

Greetings, Dan Here!

The BTE Pregen Pack 1 is now up and available for download. This pack of pregenerated mechs is meant to help GMs looking to run a quick one-shot whether that be at a con or friends who just want to try the system before signing up for a campaign. The mechs were directly pulled from the series of Mech Construction Showcases that had been posted here on the devlog with four additional builds that were not featured in the showcase series. These have been organized into Starter Mechs, Mid Tier Mechs, and High Tier Mechs. I'm not sure we'll be going back to the Mech Construction Showcases, but I may drop one of those on here from time to time.

Some of you may be wondering why there is a #1 in the title of the pack. When creating the PDF, I noticed that while there was a good variety across all the mechs featured in the showcases, some of the sub-groups, particularly the Starter Mechs were heavy in one style of combat. As such we'll likely put out another pack or two in the future with more playstyle variety. Heck perhaps at a later date when more people are playing we might even put out a community mechs pregen pack!

In other updates, professional layout has begun on the Premium/Print versions of the game. We're still aiming for release in early 2024. As soon as I have some page previews I can share I will post them here. In the meantime I am continuing to build our Community Discord Server. Thank you for your patience on that while I work through that process. To tide folks over you may have noticed that community posting has been opened up on the itch.io page. Feel free to discuss your games, ask questions, or share any homebrew you might work up.

Lastly for today, the DriveThruRPG shop has been created; though, naturally it is pending products. I will be uploading the Beneath Twisted Earth Free Version, Pregen Pack 1, and the Preview Book there in the coming days. While the premium version of the game will be available on both sites, the print version will be availably on on DriveThruRPG. I'll post more news regarding that as it becomes available.

As always, thank you for your continued interest, and I look forward to seeing you all at the launch of the Premium/Print Versions!

#beneath twisted earth #indie #ttrpg #mecha #mechs #bte #devlog

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millingroundireland · 5 months

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Chaos erupts: Where was John Mills buried after all?

On this blog, I have accepted that John R. Mills was buried in Chester Cemetery in Chester, Orange County, New York. I was not the one that put this in his bio, but rather put in by information from a previous researcher. When I requested a new photo of John's gravestone (and that of his wife Margaret) the first message I got from Gary Allen was "Walked entire cemetary and could not locate a readable gravestone for this person Aug. 23, 2018." He has still not found a readable marker of Margaret there. A few days later, Gary included two better photos of the stone, which showed a John Mills who was 88 years old, but dying on October 19, 1852. In the caption below the photos, which I have put below, Allen wrote "this was the only John Mills headstone that I found in the Chester Cemetary but death date is 1852 not the date you indicated." Later he told me on Find A Grave that "I did walk the entire Chester Cemetery and this was the only Mills that I found. There are quite a few unreadable gravestones." After I sent a message to him, he told me: "I know the problem, I have been doing my genealogy for 40 years & have been misdirected a number of times. Good Luck." That's a sentiment I can definitely agree with!

This is a problem. It means that John was buried somewhere else (with the John Mills shown above being someone different entirely), as was his wife Margaret, perhaps indicating research which was not as complete as it could have been. As such, I sent the following email to Find A Grave ([email protected]) on August 25th, titled "Requesting deletion of two Find A Grave entries," requesting to delete the following entries for John R. Mills and Margaret Ann Mills, noting that the person who managed them "is no longer living." I further added that "as such, I cannot make any edits or changes (I did submit some, but never heard back)" and that "the photos to the entry of John Rand Mills and Margaret Ann Bibby Mills will be re-uploaded to new entries which I will re-create as new entries as soon as you have let me know that the above two entries have been deleted. I don't want to make duplicate entries as I have got in trouble for that in the past on here, but has usually worked itself out."

Later, I sent a follow-up email to three emails, not just one ([email protected], [email protected], and [email protected]), telling these Find a Grave administrators, that "I discovered today that someone has already created an entry for the other John Mills. So, there is no need for me to create a new entry for that fellow. I request, once again, that you delete the entries for John Rand Mills and Margaret Ann Bibby Mills, as the two entries have incorrect information (the gravestone photos are not for the correct John Mills) which cannot be corrected by those managing the entry." I further added that "as soon as you have let me know that the entries have been deleted, I will create new entries for John Rand Mills and Margaret Ann Bibby, placing them as buried in Pottersville New Cemetery (since their children are buried there), then asking for a photo of of their graves." Two days later, I was granted membership rights over John and Margaret's Find a Grave entries, which I'll talk about more in a future post.

This post was originally published on WordPress in March 2019.

Beyond the email, I was a bit afraid this would be the case. Back in April of last year I wrote that:

In 1876, John Mills died in Minerva, Essex County, New York, apparently while he continued his job as a miller. He was buried in Chester, Orange County, New York. This seems strange because it is 142 miles away from Glens Falls and 173 miles from Minerva, John’s last confirmed residence. I have contacted appropriate historical societies in hopes of gathering information on this topic. However, it is possible that Mills family members were living in that area of New York, or even Bibby family members since his wife Margaret was buried there. Perhaps she was going on a trip to visit her cousins or even her parents. We don’t know exactly but can only make historical suppositions.

So, if John wasn't buried in Orange County, New York, then where was he buried? Well, the best candidate is Pottersville New Cemetery where Joseph B. Mills, Dorothy "Dora" Ann Mills, and Margaret E. “Maggie” Mills were buried. We know that this cemetery is "east side of US Route 9" and sits in Pottersville, which is within the Town of Chester in Warren County, New York. It is also, apparently "quite a bit larger than the old" Pottersville Cemetery. What about the old cemetery? Well, we know that two Millses were buried there (Charles S. Mills, 1857-1859 and Freddie C. Mills, 1881-1883), which is confirmed by this transcription (also noted here), and that it is on the "west side of US Route 9." So, that is my guess for where he is buried, of the many cemeteries in the county. While I wasn't able to find Margaret or John here, I did find a map of where the cemetery apparently is:

We know that transcripts of those who were buried at the Pottersville Old Cemetery were handled by the New England Historic Genealogical Society in 1922:

Also Warren County has records of the two Pottersville Cemeteries (new and old) in their vaults:

We also know that an individual named Samuel Griswold was buried in a Pottersville Cemetery in 1872:

A cemetery in Pottersville was noted in a tour book for cars in 1918, about a person buried in an unmarked grave in Pottersville, and another buried in a Pottersville cemetery. Who knows, maybe both John and Margaret are buried in unmarked graves? Its not beyond question. After looking back at the photo of the New Pottersville Cemetery, it is clear that one of them has an exact address (7952 U.S. 9 Pottersville NY 12860) and that people began being buried there in 1863, actually making it a possible candidate for where John and Margaret were buried. It is also called the "Griswold Cemetery" as it was called in 1959, in 1961, in 1972, and in 2017:

So, the mystery continues!

#cemeteries #cemetery #pottersville #millis #mills #mills family #genealogy #family history #mysteries #new york state #find a grave #findagrave #1922 #warren county #mystery

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