#and really that's all lena needs to heal up nice and quick

[horansqueen]

New Angel - Chapter 8

story masterlist [x]

chapter 1  ☆ chapter 2  ☆ chapter 3  ☆ chapter 4  ☆ chapter 5  ☆ chapter 6  ☆ chapter 7

NOTES

☆ written from Niall’s pov ☆ i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. ☆ AU comedy/fluff/smut/romance ☆ 2.7k ☆ i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! ☆ if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE

NIALL

"Your friends are nice."

I turned my head to look at Summer, laying next to me and my lips curled slightly on the left. Despite what happened between Millie and Louis, we still had a lot of fun together. It was something that always impressed me when it came to Millie and I had just realized it at that moment. I thought she was someone who didn't care much about anything but the truth was, she was just extremely good at hiding it. It was in the tone of her voice, in the fraction of a second when she hesitated, in the quick glances she'd send and in the way she played with the mood ring on her middle finger. I had never noticed that before, and I wondered if it was because I never cared to look or just because it never happened. Millie and Louis used to be happy together, even if they were not officially a couple, but in the span of a few weeks, everything had changed and somehow, it reminded me of my own relationship with Grace.

I thought it would last forever and reality had hit me so hard. I could see all the reactions and feelings I had been through in the weeks after Grace left through Millie's eyes, even if she was clearly better than me at hiding it. I knew I was probably the only one who noticed it but it didn't matter. I knew, and even if I wanted to take that pain away from her, I knew it was impossible, or at least, I had no idea how.

"Yea, they're great." I admitted with a fond smile. "I don't know what I'd do without them."

I turned on my side to face Summer who had her arms crossed on her chest, her naked breasts hidden by the sheets of my bed. I held my head with my hand, my upper arm against the mattress and sighed low. It was amazing to have someone to have sex with, and also someone who would just lay in bed with me for a while. We never really talked about anything deep or serious, but Summer was funny and sweet and it's definitely what I needed. I had been in the same relationship for a while and now I just wanted to have fun. I knew I wouldn't be able to get into a new romantic relationship before I'd stop thinking about Grace multiple times a day, or before I compared everything to her, or wondered what she would have said or how things would be if I was with her instead. I also knew it would take time, because that's what everyone says, right? Healing takes time.

"And what would you do without me?" she asked, her lips curling right before mine did too.

"Use my hand. And it would be a shame!" I joked, making her chuckle.

"A shame uh?"

"Oh yea," I insisted, shaking my head slightly and bringing my hand to the sheets, pulling on them a bit, trying to expose her. "Because that body is incredible darling."

She brought her shoulders up and closer to her face holding the sheets up. I gave up and chuckled again but when I realized how uncomfortable she was, I lost my smile.

"Sorry, I didn't want to upset you."

"No no, it's alright." she pointed out in a soft tone, sending me a fake smile. "So, Niall, tell me about your ex girlfriend."

My eyebrows raised up and I moved my head back slightly as my eyes left hers. I was surprised by her question, it was really something I didn't expect and I was not sure talking about my ex girlfriend with my current fuck buddy was a good idea.

"Uhm, there's not much to say." I admitted, bringing my hand up to scratch the back of my head. "I mean, I guess everything started very quickly between us. Sparkles and all that. And when it stopped, I didn't expect it at all."

"How is she like?"

"Pretty. Smart. She knows what she wants and what she's worth. Cheeky." I enumerated, making me realize that perhaps, Millie was right about my 'type' of girl. "She.. liked to be the center of attention. She's the kind of girl who needs all the eyes on her when she enters a room. And she gets what she wants."

"Okay, so, she's pretty much my opposite."

I thought she'd laugh but I finally looked down at Summer and I could see worries in her eyes. I knew that talking about Grace was a bad idea, and I didn't want Summer to compare herself to hers, even if secretly, I did it, too.

"Why do you say it like it's a bad thing?" I asked gently, making her raise her eyebrows. "It's not a competition, you know. She's not here. You are."

Her eyes ran on my face quickly and she finally sent me a small smile and nodded.

"Do you think you're ready to meet my friends now?"

I smiled more, happy that she decided to talk about something else, and slowly nodded. "Yea, why not?"

Her face illuminated and she licked her lips. "Great! So, tomorrow, 6pm, my place?"

"Alright." I bent down and kissed her lips gently. "What are we gonna tell them? I mean, did you tell them we were just friends or... did we also tell them we have sex?"

"No, I just... I said we were friends."

I was surprised her friends didn't ask more questions. After all, we had met in a bar, she had sent one of them my phone number and my address and we had ended up at my apartment. This isn't really how you make new friends. Still, Summer had mentioned she was not the kind of girl who had sex on the first night and her friends probably knew that.

Anyway, I didn't want to rush things and it was better this way. If Summer didn't want to tell her friend she was in a friends with benefits relationship with me, it was her business. Besides, we had made it clear we were not exclusive, which meant there was definitely no strings attached, at least for now.

"Okay, that works for me."

-----

When I got at Summer's apartment and walked in, I heard laughs coming from afar. We walked towards them and I couldn't help but let my eyes travel on Summer. Her hair was down, for once, slightly wavy and falling on her back. She was wearing a simple tank top and a pair of blue jeans but it made me want to get on top of her immediately.

"Okay so everyone, this is Niall." Summer said shyly, standing next to me. "Niall, this is Meredith, Kate, Lena and Andrew."

They all got up and walked closer to kiss my cheeks and we finally sat at the table together. Dinner went by really fast and we laughed all together. Meredith and Lena were funny and talkative, and reminded me a lot of Summer. I didn't know how to react to Kate's way with me, though. She was looking at me in a weird way and I could swear that at some point, I felt one of her foot slide on my leg under the table. I quickly brought my leg away but it's the small smile she sent me right after that made me feel bad. I knew Summer had mentioned we were just friends, but to have one of her friends flirt with me that way seemed uncalled for and I was not sure how to react. Andrew seemed to study me a lot and for some reason, I felt like he was trying to be funnier and more interesting than I was and I felt completely stupid when, after a few hours, I noticed how he was looking at Summer.

I thought about what had happened between Louis and Millie the day before and realized that tonight was just as awkward, if not more. We finally sat together in the living room with a glass of wine and I realized most of them were getting tipsy, which probably was not the best idea.

"Okay so Niall, d'you work?"

"Uhm, yea. I'm a cook, actually. Part time." I nodded, shrugging a shoulder. "And I give guitar lessons."

"Oh really? I was just thinking I wanted to learn an instrument."

My eyes found Kate's and I raised my eyebrows, not answering her smile. I knew she was important for Summer and that she thought we were only friends, but I didn't like the way she was talking to me and I was certainly not going to flirt back with her.

"I already have enough students for now, sorry."

I glanced at Summer who sighed low as a smile spread on her face and I knew my answer was the right one. I was not going to be impolite but at the same time, there was no way I would encourage her.

"Kate, you're annoying." Lena pointed out, rolling her eyes at her. "Can't you see he's not into you? Why do you always do that?"

"Mind your business, Len." she replied, her eyes never leaving me.

"Okay, enough, we're leaving. It's late." Meredith added, getting up quickly.

It took a few minutes or so of argumentation but Kate finally agreed to leave with the rest of them. They said their goodbyes and I tried not to react when her hand slid down my back slowly. I let out a sigh of relief when the door closed behind them and felt Summer's hand on my arm before turning my head her way.

"I'm so sorry about Kate." she apologized in a soft and guilty tone. "She really loves attention. Especially from men."

My eyes roamed on her face and I once again thought about Grace. I didn't mention it, obviously, but I knew Summer was thinking about the description I gave her of my ex girlfriend too and finally, I just licked my lips and shook my head.

"Not your fault, don't apologize."

She took a step closer and tilted her head before pressing her lips together. Her eyes dropped to my chest and she brought her hands against it, sliding them down a bit before gripping my shirt.

"Do you want to see my room again?"

I held my breath as I stared at her and my lips parted slightly. I wanted her, I really did, and it took everything out of me to let out the words I wanted to say.

"It's late, I should leave, too." I admitted in a whisper, making her pout. "Rain check?"

"You could stay the night, maybe?" she proposed, getting on her tiptoe.

I swallowed hard now that her lips were close to mine and blinked a few times. "You're being unfair right now, you know the puppy eyes are very hard to resist."

"That's the whole point."

I kept looking at her but my thoughts were back at home. Maybe Louis and Millie were together at the moment, or maybe Millie was sad and alone. Maybe Louis was gone or maybe he told her it was over between them. I couldn't help the thoughts running in my head and I didn't want to leave Millie to deal with it by herself, and if Louis hadn't talked to her yet, I wanted to knock at his door and remind him that he should do it as soon as possible. I couldn't stay and if I wanted to be honest with myself, I didn't want to stay either. I wanted to be there for my friends they way they had been there for me.

"I can't babe, I'm sorry." I repeated in a soft tone, grabbing her hands in mine and squeezing her fingers. "I'll text you tomorrow though, alright?"

When I walked back in my apartment, I heard yells coming from behind a door and sighed low, glad that I decided to come back. I knew it was none of my business but at the same time, I couldn't just pretend it didn't affect me. So many things were left unsaid between these two but even if I was happy they were finally sharing their thoughts, I would have hoped it would have been calmly with a drink or something like that. It was stupid of me to have expected something like that, though, knowing that both my friends had explosive and strong personalities.

I let my keys fall on the coffee table and walked slowly to the hall, leaning against the wall right in front of Louis' door.

"Really Louis? Really? You're serious?" Millie seemed angrier than I had ever heard her and I leaned my head against the wall.

"What now?" Louis yelled back. "What the fuck did you fucking expect Millie? That this stupid thing was gonna last forever?"

"Stupid? No you are stupid Louis Tomlinson!" she screamed again, her voice cracking slightly. I was sure Louis didn't notice, but I did. "What we have matters! It's important ok!"

"What we had, Millie! It's over!"

"Why? Because you found some new bitch that you wanna shag? Shag her as long as you want and then come back! What we have is stronger than just a fucking lust story!"

"Oh Mill..." I whispered very low, closing my eyes and shaking my head lightly.

"She's not just some girl okay! I... I have feelings for her!"

Silence. I waited a few more seconds and opened my eyes again, moving my head back to look at the door. I almost expected Millie to storm out but she didn't and I waited for what seemed like half an hour. All I could hear was the thumping of my heart in my chest.

"I thought you loved me." Millie let out softly. "You said you loved me..."

"I do Millie, I love you. You're my best friend. But I'm not in love with you." Louis explained, making me let out a low curse word. That must have hurt Millie so bad I had to swallow hard as it reminded me of my own pain. "Please, Millie."

"Don't touch me!"

"Come on, Millie, I don't want to lose you." Louis confessed, making my grimace and groan low. It was such a hurtful thing to say to someone you just broke the heart to, and I wanted to open the door and force Millie out so she wouldn't have to hear any more of his painful words.

"You should have thought about that before."

I held my breath and got back on my feet, my back straight, when the door opened. Millie came face to face with me, her eyes red but her head high and I was fucking impressed by her strength. We stared at each other for a while until Louis appeared behind her, holding the door, his eyes moving from me to Millie and then back to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me with a frown.

"I live here."

"Right here? In the hall?" Louis let out sarcastically.

I decided it was useless to answer and just looked back at him. I knew he was somehow right and that I probably shouldn't have listened to their fight but it's not like I wouldn't have been able to hear it from my room anyway.

"Okay, I'm going to bed." Millie let out rudely, throwing one of her hands up and shaking her head. Her voice became softer when her eyes met mine, though. "Good night, Niall."

"Good night, Mill." I replied gently, searching for her fingers and squeezing them.

She didn't look at me but walked past me and my eyes found Louis again. We glared at each other until we heard Millie's door close roughly and Louis finally sighed loud.

"I told her." he pointed out in an angry tone as if I didn't already know. "Happy now?"

I knew he was mad at me and I didn't really care. I still thought it was the right thing to do and I would never think otherwise.

"Very."

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan love story #niall horan story #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan au #my fanfics #newangel

[docholligay]

Divided by Four: Twenty-Seven

It was sunny and clear, but not overly hot, and Tracer sat, her legs crossed, as she sat atop a box by the hangar, watching the plane pull to a slow stop. She closed her eyes and turned her face up to the brightness of the sun, grinning brightly with the joy of it as she practically felt another freckle spring across her nose. It was going to be a wonderful day, and she rocked forward impatiently as the joy of it overtook her. 

She heard the large, heavy door swing open, and jumped off the metal box, hands in her pockets as she rocked back and forth impatiently. An overly large and intensely human gorilla, wearing a light blue t-shirt with sunglasses tucked int he pocket, stepped cautiously down the steps of it. 

“Win!” Tracer bounced across the tarmac and leapt into his arms without a moment’s thought, “So glad you come, oh, I can’t believe you’ve never been to London, love, greatest city in the world it is, greatest city in the world. And its beautiful today, innit? Not a cloud in the sky, and that’s not every day, love, London must ‘ave showed its best side for you.” 

Winston said nothing, only chuckled and hugged her tight. 

Tracer jumped down from his arms, breathless with excitement. There was so much, a person couldn’t possibly see all of London in one visit, but she had prepared a tour of what she felt were the highlights of it, which would surely be tempting enough that he would come again. It was hard to resist London, warts and all. There was something about it that got into your bones. 

“‘Ave the whole ‘oliday planned! Things I thought you might enjoy, Science Museum, right, maybe a picnic in the park, seeing as it’s so lovely, but of course we ‘ave me family--” 

“Lena,” Winston shook his head, “It’s your birthday. Why would you plan it around...I mean,” he adjusted his glasses, “It must feel...important. After.” 

She shouldn’t have had another birthday, that’s what they all said, should have been lost to time, should have died, should have been an inescapably shattered husk of a human being, should have been all those things, but she wasn’t. Tracer was born under a lucky star, and had made it back, and she had lived, and she smiled happily in the sunshine on a London summer afternoon. 

It had done its work, she supposed. It had ripped her away from the stream of time, and left her with a chronal disability, which wasn’t even an ability people had known you could dis until Tracer had done it. It was true that it had been incredibly painful, that the stress of her loss had very likely killed her father, and that she’d been left with PTSD and stripped of her pilot’s license on top of it all. But she had met Winston, and he was a wonderful friend. She was a field agent, uniquely useful and helpful. London was healing, because of her mission in it.

Nothing was all bad, really. 

Besides, the PTSD had responded beautifully to treatment, so really she should stop counting that against it. 

“And what could be more thrilling and important than introducing someone to London?” She tugged at the edge of her brightly colored shirt, printed with tropical fish, “I know you said you didn’t want any fuss, but I think you always say that, and seeing as it’s me birthday I decided we need to for oysters, though, won’t spoil me birthday tea with the family.”

“Your family will want to see you without me--”

“Oh no, it’s very important you come to that!” Tracer was bouncing about, nearly vibrating as she continued, “Family’s only met you an ‘andful of times,right, and mostly about the bug jar, love, that’s no fun at all, now is it? They’ll just love you Win, ‘aven’t met all of them--course you know Parvati, and me uncles, well some of them, love, oh you’ve never met me Uncle Clive! Parvati’s dad, right? Just lovely. Met Aunt Lily, but not ‘im, gets ‘er coloring from Clive, Parvati does, though,” she laughed, “suppose you might have figured that, ‘aving looked at Lily, and at Parvati--oh you’ve never met me other cousins! Ollie’s--guess ‘e prefers to be called Oliver now, what’s that for--suppose Ollie Oxton is a bit of a--”

“Lena.” Winston put a hand on her shoulder, smiling, “It’s okay, I’ll go.” 

“Terribly excited to ‘ave you. It’ll be a bit different from last year, course…” 

Very suddenly, in the way her mind sometimes worked, Tracer felt a great well of sadness rush within her. In a way she hardly had for the rest of the day, excited as she was for Winston to come, she felt the absence of her father. He’d always made breakfast for her, on her birthday, but she’d lit out of the house so quickly that it had slipped her mind. She still couldn’t bear to move into the master bedroom, and so nothing had seemed too different, as long as she never stopped moving. 

Tears sprung to her eyes. It was always an annoyance to her, the immediacy and depth with which she felt things. She supposed it had its lovely parts--joy lit her from within quick as a firework, excitement showed in every molecule of her body, and those who loved her most found it very charming--but for an instant, it was as if she’d lost her father all over again, knowing there would be no sloppily-wrapped, but deeply considered present, no kiss on the head and a smile. 

She cleared her throat, and wiped away a tear. “Sorry.” she gave a weak laugh, “Forgot I was an orphan for a moment, turned me into a bit of a big girl’s blouse.” 

“I--I’m sorry, Lena.” 

She took a deep breath and huffed it out, closing her eyes and tipping her head to the sunshine again. “Well. ‘appens to all of us--most of us, at least, don’t it? Way of the world. ‘E would ‘ave ‘ated me ruining me birthday over it, besides.” 

Winston took the moment. “He sounds like a, a good father.” 

“Oh, absolutely!” Tracer’s eyes sparkled brightly again, the sunshine peeking about the cloud, “You’d ‘ave liked him, Win, everyone did--well--I suppose that can’t possibly be entirely true, but most of them, at the very least. ‘E’s the one taught me to fly, and I told ‘im, I did, that one day I was to be the best pilot in the world, and it turned out to be true, didn’t it, at least for a time---suppose Gunnar’s the best pilot in the world, now? Being only as I don’t ‘ave me license, or I’d win it back from him.” She stopped herself and nodded, trying to slow the stream of thought. “Dad was so proud.” 

She paused a moment. God, but the sun was beautiful that day, but not too hot. Maybe it was only coincidence, but it could be possible, somehow, that the beauty of the day was a last gift her father gave her. If it was possible, he certainly would have tried.

“It’s true, don’t you think, that so long as people remember you, there’s still a part of you that’s not really gone?” She was asking Winston, but also herself, but also the air. 

Winston nodded. “I think that’s nice.” 

Tracer returned the nod, grinning now. Death could take a smile from her, but only for a moment. “I’ll show you the East End. I think all Oxtons just become a part of it, when we go. I won’t go to ‘eaven or ‘ell, assuming either place exists.” She led him by the hand. “I’ll just stay ‘ere among the pigeons! I like that idea, I think. Nothing too fancy for me, thanks, give me the smell of a fish shop over a choir of angels. I wouldn’t ‘ardly fit in, really.” 

She giggled and jumped along, Winston hardly knowing what was happening but delighted by it all the same. 

“Let me show you where you’ll always find me.” 

[bellaireland1981]

Lights, Camera, Coffee in LA

Ok, this is my absolute first time posting a story I’ve written and I am anxious as hell about it lol. Please be kind! 

Summary: Elena “Lena” is off to LA for the summer to visit her brother. Her summer gets off to a great start when she ends up sat next to none other than Chris Evans on the plane. (I suck at summaries!) Thank you SO much to @denisemarieangelina​ for reading and providing feedback, and a WAY better title than I’d managed to think of! You’re AMAZING! 

Characters: Chris Evans x OFC Elena

Word count: 4921

Warnings: None... absolute fluff

“I’m boarding the plane now, Mikey,” I gasped, out of breath from running through the airport.

“Oversleep again, Lena?” He asked laughing on the other end.

“Actually, my Uber was late and then we hit traffic on the freeway, thank you very much!” I said, indignantly, making my way down the gangway and onto the plane.

“Ok, well safe flight, I’ll see you in a few hours.” he responded, “Love you, Sis!”

“Love you too, Mikey! Can’t wait to see you!” I was excited to see my big brother. He’d moved out to L.A. when I was 12 years old to pursue a career in acting. He’d made a name for himself on a soap opera, but had decided he preferred being behind the camera instead of in front of it.

I quickly located my seat and stowed my carry-on in the overhead compartment before dropping into the seat by the window. One perk of having Michael book my tickets was an upgrade to first class.

I had just finished another year teaching 2nd grade and was looking forward to spending time in California with my big brother. Due to budget cuts, we had ended up with overcrowded classrooms this past year (meaning I’d had a class of 30 second graders as opposed to the normal 20 I was used to!). Needless to say, I was exhausted and needed a break.

“Can I get you something to drink before we take off ma’am?” a flight attendant asked me, smiling.

“Do you have any tea?” I asked, smiling back at her, I hadn’t had time to stop for caffeine on my way to the airport and wasn’t firing on all cylinders yet. “Or at this point, I’d drink week-old coffee resembling mud.”

“We can’t have you drinking mud, I’d be happy to get you some tea” She replied laughing, “Any milk, sugar, or honey?”

“Just plain, please!” I replied, “You’re seriously a life-saver!”

“All part of my job title!” She said before collecting the pre-flight drink orders from other passengers settling into their seats.

“A fellow caffeine addict, huh?” A smooth, deep voice sounded next to me. It appeared as though my seat neighbor had arrived.

“Not even ashamed to admit to that! “In all fairness though, it is before 8 in the morning, and a Monday no less.” I smiled up at the newcomer, and almost swallowed my tongue in the process.

Chris freaking Evans was standing less than a foot away, placing his bag in the overhead compartment. He had on a gray Henley with the sleeves pushed up, jeans, and a NASA hat pulled down to help disguise his identity.  Pull it together Lena, do NOT fangirl on the poor guy!

“Both fair points!” He said taking his seat and turning slightly towards me. Even with the added room in first class, he was still insanely close to me. I could smell his cologne or aftershave, which didn’t help my already overloaded senses.  “I’m Chris, by the way.”

“Elena” I replied, smiling, “Everyone just calls me Lena though.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lena” He replied with a smile of his own. Ugh, his azure blue eyes were seriously going to be my downfall. “What has you headed to L.A?”

“My brother lives there. I’m just going to visit for the summer. “A much-needed break from reality.” I replied, impressed that my inner fangirl wasn’t showing through...at least I hoped it wasn’t noticeable to Chris.

“I can definitely understand the need for a break.” He said, “The whole summer, huh? Must be a teacher?”

“Very good deduction skills!” I said laughing

“My older sister is a teacher as well, it was an easy deduction to make” He smirked, winking at me. “What do you teach?”

“I’m a second-grade teacher, although there are days I’d say ‘kitten wrangler’ would be a better job title.” I replied honestly. “Especially this past school year.”

“An entire room full of, what… 8-year-olds?” His eyes widened, “That’d be like a room full of my nephews… yeah, you need a break!”

“Yeah, 7 and 8-year-olds… 30 of them to be exact.” I replied, “I’m a kitten-wrangling ninja, what’s your superpower?”

He threw his head back at that and laughed, his left hand coming up to grab his chest. I smiled like an idiot at the fact that I was able to make him laugh hard enough to get the left boob grab.

“Super-human strength, quick healing abilities, and I look damn good for 100!” He replied, cheekily.

“Your tea Ma’am” the flight attendant interrupted, bringing my much-needed drink.

“Thank you so much!” I replied, taking the steaming cup.

“Can I get you anything, Mr. Evans?” she asked Chris, batting her eyelashes at him. I turned my head away to quickly stifle the snicker that was bubbling up.

“I’m good for now, thanks though.” He replied, then turning back towards me.

“Get that often, Mr. Evans. Or do you prefer Captain?” I asked as the flight attendant walked away.

“So, you do know who I am. I wasn’t too sure if you did or didn’t know.” He replied, laughing nervously.

“Yeah, figured that one out as soon as I looked up.” I replied gently, “But, honestly, I get that constant public adoration can get old, so I kept the fangirling to a minimum.”

“Fangirling, huh?” He asked, his smile getting bigger. “So, you’re a fan?”

“I may or may not be team Cap” I replied, my inner nerd shining through.  “I’m also team Thor though, so…”

“I’ll take it!” He replied laughing, “You said team Cap first, so that’s all I’m hearing.”

It was my turn to throw my head back laughing at his child-like response. It was nice to see the playful side of Chris, the true person that he is not the actor everyone knows.

“Welcome aboard flight 723 with non-stop service to LAX.” One of the flight attendants announced, “We will be pushing back and getting underway here in the next few minutes. At this time, we ask that you make sure that your seatbelts are fastened and return any seats and trays to the upright position. We are right on time, and should be landing at LAX at approximately 9:55 am local time.”

“Ugh, this is my least favorite part of flying. I wish I could just click my heels and arrive wherever I want to be.” I admitted to him in a nervous manner.

“Not a fan of flying?” He asked sympathetically, looking over at me.

“In general, flying is fine” I responded, trying to keep my breathing normal, “It’s taken off and landings I’m not exactly fond of.”

“Did you have a bad experience?” He asked out of curiosity.

“Nope” I replied, “But the way I see it, if something goes wrong at either takeoff or landing, you’re close enough to the ground still where chances are it’s going to hurt. When you’re in the air, you’re high enough up where if you crash, you’re just dead and won’t know how much the pain sucks.”

Chris was momentarily speechless as he processed my theory. I’m sure the theory is flawed but hey, fears are generally irrational right?

“Wow” he said finally, “I can’t say I’ve ever thought of it that way before.”

“I’ve never actually put that into words before, and I will admit that it does sound absurd.” I replied, “It sounded much less insane in my head.”

“No, not insane.” He quickly reassured me, “Probably has some validity to it...somewhere.”

“You’re way too nice!” I replied smiling, “Let’s pretend I didn’t disclose that information, and you don’t know the level of my nerdiness.”

“We’ve all got some nerdiness in us,” he replied with a flirty smile, “But I have to admit that the nerdiness is pretty damn adorable on you.”

I could feel my face heating up at the compliment. Holy shit, Chris Evans just called me adorable. My inner fangirl was screaming.

Before I was able to form a response, the plane started moving away from the gate. I could feel anxiety starting to boil in my gut. I gripped the armrest of my seat, knuckles turning white.

“Hey” Chris said softly, pulling my attention away from the window, “Keep breathing, Lena” His

right hand reached over and gently engulfed my hand in his own. I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax.

“I promise I’m not normally such a spaz.” I said apologetically, looking at him.

“None of that,” He said smiling, “We all have things that make us anxious. No judgement here.”

“So, are you heading back to L.A. for work or is that your home base?” I asked, trying to focus on something else.

“A little of both actually.” He replied, “I’m meeting with a director about a film I’m really interested in doing, but I do have a house in L.A. that I spend a lot of time at. Home though… that’s always Boston. Where is home for you?”

“I live in Providence, but I grew up in Newport.” I replied, “With the exception of my brother, the rest of my family is all still in Rhode Island.”

“Another New Englander!” He said smiling broadly, “It’s not Boston, but… you’re in the right region!”

“The only time I’m ever in Boston is when I’m catching a flight.” I admitted, “I always tell myself I’m going to drive up and spend some time there especially Salem, but something always comes up.”

“What!?” He exclaimed, “There is so much more to Boston than the AIRPORT!”

I laughed at the shock and dismay displayed on his face and in his voice.

“I’ll make a point to get there before I go back to work this fall.” I laughed, crossing my heart like the second graders I taught often did.

“I’ll hold you to that” He said, attempting to give me a stern look...but failing, as the laughter in his eyes gave him away. “What are you planning on doing while in L.A. this summer?”

“My brother actually lives in Malibu, so I will be spending as much time at the beach as possible.” I was very excited to spend time in the Pacific Ocean, surfing and hopefully diving at some point. The Atlantic was great, but definitely much colder. “I will also be buying an annual pass to Disneyland so I can go as often as I want and get my Disney fix. Once will definitely not be enough.”

“You’re a Disney fan too?” Chris asked, eyes growing wide, “You’re perfect you know that?”

“Far from it, I assure you.” I laughed, “Just ask my brothers.”

“Are you a Patriot’s fan?” he asked, turning his whole body towards me now. “Because seriously, if you are, I’m marrying you as soon as we get off this plane.”

I laughed and tucked a stray piece of brown hair back behind my ear nervously.

“I’m not really into football…” I replied smiling, “I’m more of a soccer fan. I enjoy baseball too.”

“I can accept that” He replied smiling widely, “I don’t know much about soccer, but what’s your favorite baseball team?”

“The Red Sox.” I replied, “My dad is a huge Sox fan, as are all my brothers. Mikey tries to play like he’s a Dodger fan now that he lives in L.A, but honestly that’s just to mess with my dad.”

“I was right, Lena.” Chris said teasingly, “You're legitimately perfect.”

“Even if I’m not a football fan?” I laughed. Butterflies were swarming in my belly for a whole new reason now. My fear of taking off, long forgotten. I glanced quickly out the window to realize we were in the air. Chris had kept me occupied to ease my anxiety during takeoff.  “Well played, Evans.” I said, looking back over at him. He shrugged and gave me a boyish smile.

“Sometimes it helps to keep the mind busy when you’re anxious so that you aren’t focused on what is causing the anxiety.” He replied, seemingly from experience.

“Thank you” I replied simply. I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“So, what’s your favorite ride at Disney?” He asked, changing topics.

“Is it acceptable to say that I love them all?” I asked him hopefully. Seriously, how do you choose just one ride?

“Nope. You got to pick one,” he said, shaking his head, “No cop out answers.”

“Ok, well I adore Space Mountain, but I also love The Matterhorn. The Haunted Mansion though is also a favorite…” I replied, “Best I can do is Top 3 favorites.”

“Fair enough, I suppose,” He conceded, “Good choices too. You went with the classics.”

“What are your favorite rides?” I asked, “And no ‘cop out’ answers either.”

“Space Mountain.” He said without hesitation. “That’s the one I could ride all day.”

“Favorite Disney movie?” I asked him.

“Of all time? Dumbo” he replied, “But I honestly love all the Classic Disney movies, and the newer ones too. What’s yours?”

“All-time favorite… Pinocchio.” I replied thoughtfully. “I adore Jiminy Cricket. But I also wore out two copies of the Oliver and Company movie.”

“I love Oliver and Company!” He exclaimed, “My dog, Dodger, is named after the Dodger in that movie!”

“It’s a great movie.” I agreed, “Where’s Dodger now?”

“He’s back in Boston with my mom and sister.” he said, a sad smile on his face. It was obvious he loved his dog. I’d read and watched interviews with him, whenever asked about his dog he lit up like a kid at Christmas.

“Are you going to be in L.A for a long time?” I asked

“Depends on my meeting with the director, I guess.” He replied, “If it goes well, I’ll bring Dodge out and we’ll stay out here until filming ends. I don’t have anything else on the schedule at the moment. Just finished my contract with Marvel.”

“It’s got to be a good feeling to have the freedom to just relax and pick what you want to work on.” I said, “I won’t lie though, I’m heartbroken you won’t be Captain American anymore.”

“It was hard to walk away after the last day on set, but it was definitely time. I was burning out.” he said honestly, “I feel like I went out on the right note though.”

“I’ll admit that I literally ugly cried in the theater during Endgame.” I confided in him, “Complete with crocodile tears, blotchy eyes...the whole nine yards. You broke my heart into a million tiny pieces.”

“But it’s not like Cap died!” he reasoned, “He just finally got the chance to live out the life he wanted!”

“Although that part did make me teary, the part that broke me was watching Cap get his heart broken when Natasha and Tony died.” I explained, “The scene where you’re sitting there and the tears are falling… ugh.”

“If it helps, it was extremely difficult for us all to make it through that film.” He said, “We were all emotionally attached to the characters.”

“That does make me feel better, thanks.” I replied.

The rest of the flight was spent talking about anything and everything. I was so caught up in the

conversation that I never even heard them announce we were beginning our descent into L.A., so when the plane touched down and started to taxi up to the terminal gate, I was shocked.

“Again, well played Mr. Evans” I laughed looking back over to Chris. “Thank you”

“I really enjoyed this flight, Lena.” He said smiling, “I’m actually kind of sad we’ve landed.”

“I can honestly say, this is the best flight I’ve ever had.” I admitted, a blush spreading over my neck and face. “I wouldn’t have been sad if it had been longer.”

The plane had taxied into the designated gate and came to a stop. Around us people were rushing to gather up their belongings.

“As crazy as this sounds, I’d really like to see you again.” Chris said, looking anxious for the first time since he’d introduced himself. It was as though he doubted, you’d want to see him again, which made absolutely zero sense! 

“It doesn’t sound crazy, Chris” I reassured him softly. “I would like to see you again too.”

“Put your number in my phone and then I’ll text you so you have mine.” He said handing me his phone.

I quickly typed my number into his phone before handing it back to him. He finished saving the contact info and then sent a text to me. I heard my phone’s notification ping, alerting me to a new message. It was if the ping of my phone set off a swarm of butterflies in my belly. The anxiety from earlier in the flight was back, but for a whole new reason.

I opened up the message from Chris and quickly saved his contact info. Chris grabbed his bag down out of the overhead compartment then grabbed mine down and handed it over to me.

“I’m assuming since you’re here for a while, you’ve got more luggage checked” He laughed,

“Either that, or you travel extremely light.”

“Honestly, I probably over packed” I laughed, rolling my eyes at myself. “I never know what I’ll need or want when traveling so I just throw it all into the luggage and go with it.”

“That’s one way to do it, I suppose.” He winked at me, “If you don’t mind, I’ll walk with you that way.  I’m getting picked up at arrivals anyway.”

“I don’t mind at all.” I replied, “My brother is supposed to be picking me up. I’m guessing he’ll be at arrivals too.”

We walked towards baggage claim, making our way through the large crowds at LAX. I noticed

Chris kept hat down low over his eyes, doing his best to blend in and not be recognized. He stayed close to me, trying to avoid being separated.

We arrived at baggage claim right as the bags were starting to appear on the conveyor belt.

Luckily, my bag came around quickly. I grabbed it off the belt and turned around, almost running straight into Chris. I hadn’t realized he was so close.

“Sorry!” he said, a boyish grin on his face, as he steadied me, “I didn’t want to lose you in the crowd.”

“No worries” I said breathily, enjoying the close proximity to him. “I think this is the fastest my bag has ever gotten off the plane. Thankfully, it wasn’t lost this time!”

“That’s happened before?” His eyebrows shot up in shock, “That must have sucked!”

“It did” I agreed, “I was in Germany too, which made it even worse. I was with a student group and we weren’t staying in one spot, so it was quite the production getting my stuff to me!”

“Well at least had it happened here, you’d have been stationary” He laughed, “How long did it take to get reunited with your luggage?”

“It took 3 days for it to catch up with us.” I said, “Thankfully, I had enough in my carry on that I was able to survive the separation.”

“LENA!” I heard a familiar voice yell. I quickly looked up and around for the source of the voice to find my sister in law, holding a neon green sign with my name in pink sparkles. I laughed, shaking my head at her.

“Talia!” I giggled heading over to her and hugging her. I adored my sister in law, in fact, she was probably my favorite. “Was the sign necessary?”

“Of course, it was!” she replied laughing, “I’d hate to be accused of being basic!”

“Extra… yes” I laughed, “Never basic.”

“I see you’ve made a friend already” She said, glancing over to where Chris was standing, his eyes dancing with laughter at the exchange.

“Talia, this is Chris.” I said making the introduction. I figured she had already figured out exactly who he was. “Chris, my sister in law, Talia.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Chris” She said smiling brightly. Talia is also a huge Marvel fan, but she’s more team Iron Man/ RDJ. Being married to my brother, she was used to being around celebrities and has perfected the art of remaining cool. I had a feeling I needed to take a page from her book this summer if I was going to survive in my brother’s world.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Talia.” Chris responded warmly.

“Ok, let’s get out of here!” Talia exclaimed, “Michael gave me strict orders to bring you straight to him before going to the house. I think he missed his baby sister.”

“I’ve definitely missed him too” I said, excited to see him.  

We all headed out of the airport and into the balmy California weather. I smiled looking around at the palm trees and feeling thesunshine beat on my face. It was going to be a great summer!

Straight ahead of us was a pick up line filled with limos, black SUVs, and sedans along with their drivers holding signs with the people they were looking for.

“There’s my ride,” Chris said, seeing his name in the line. He wrapped me in a quick hug before pulling back and smiling. “I’ll text you later Lena and we can make plans to get together.”

“Sounds great!” I beamed, trying to remember how to breathe. Chris Evans just hugged me!

Talia and I quickly made our way across the pickup lanes and headed towards the parking garage attached to the airport.

“Already making friends with Hollywood Heartthrobs before even landing in L.A., huh?” Talia joked as I threw my luggage into the back of her black Land Rover.

“He’s super sweet, Lia!” I gushed, “He kept me occupied the entire flight, especially during takeoff and landing, so I wouldn’t freak out. We talked about everything, and he never made me feel like a major dork.”

“Michael has mentioned several times that he’s very down to earth and a genuinely nice person.” She revealed, “He’s actually meeting with Chris this week about a part in the film he’s directing.”

“Ohmygod!” I exclaimed, “THAT’S the movie he was talking about? He said he was in town to meet with a director but never said what the film was or which director. What is the flipping’ odds he’d be meeting with my brother?”

“Hollywood is actually not that big” Talia said laughing, “Everyone is essentially connected to someone through a mutual friend. Not that shocking he’d know Michael. I’m guessing Chris didn’t put it together?”

“My last name never came up honestly” I replied, “Well, I guess this means I’m guaranteed to see him again!”

Being that it was past rush hour, it didn’t take too long to get from the airport to the studio lot where Michael was preparing for his next film. Talia found a parking spot close to a large building that I assumed contained a sound stage.

“Alright, he’s inside meeting with a few set designers. He said to come straight in when we got

here.” Talia said getting out of the vehicle.

We walked into the building, which currently looks like a cross between an airplane hangar and a warehouse.

“There’s my Little-Bit!” Michael said jogging over towards us. He quickly scooped me up into a hug, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around. “I’ve missed your kiddo!”

“I’ve missed you too, Mikey!” I said laughing, “I hate that we live on opposite sides of the country now!”

“I know, Kiddo.” He said setting me back on my feet and taking a step back, “You know, there are plenty of schools out here you can teach at.”

“Don’t tempt me!” I joked, “We just had one of the worst winters in over a decade this year… the temptation to leave it all behind is strong.”

“I know you probably want to get settled and freshen up from your trip, but I couldn’t wait to see you” He said, “I have a few more meetings but should be out of here by early afternoon, so we can make plans to go out somewhere for dinner tonight.” 

“Perfect, I am in desperate need of shower and clean clothes.” I replied, “Other than that, my social calendar is wide open.”

“For now, at least.” Talia teased, bumping into me and smirking. “I doubt it stays that way.”

“Yeah, I’m totally on the prowl to fill my calendar” I rolled my eyes, trying to play her comment off so Michael wouldn’t ask questions.

“That’ll be hard to do if you spend all summer at Disney, Little-Bit.” Michael teased, “Although, I hear Goofy is still single.”

“Oh wow, all have jokes today.” I laughed, turning towards Talia “On that note, I’m ready to leave now.”

“OK, you’re chariot awaits milady!” She responded, “I’ll see you at home, baby.”

“Drive safe, stay out of trouble.” He said, “Love you both.”

________________________________

I woke the next morning to my cell phone alerting me to a new message. I sat up and grabbed my phone. I was shocked that I’d managed to sleep past nine. I leaned back against the queen-sized headboard and opened up my text messages.

C: 7:35AM Hey Lena, I’ve got a meeting this morning about that project I mentioned but would

really love to see get together later if you’re available. Maybe get some coffee, or another beverage?  

C: 8:00 AM Ok, that sounded really lame. Let me try again. Lena, would you like to go out for a drink later?

L: 9:04 AM Hi! Sorry, I just woke up! You didn’t sound lame at all. I’d love to get coffee...or another beverage with you later! I don’t think I have anything going on today. Let me track down my brother to make sure he didn’t plan anything.

I pushed the covers back and got out of bed, my bare feet sinking into the plush carpet in the guest bedroom I was staying in. I pulled my long brown hair up into a messy knot on top of my head, deciding to deal with it later, and headed downstairs in search of Michael or Talia to see what the plans for the day were.

Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I could hear voices on the back patio that overlooked the beach. I detoured to the kitchen first to grab a bottle of water from the fridge before heading out to the patio.

I opened the French doors and stepped out onto the cool bricks, before stopping dead in my tracks like a deer caught in headlights.

“Morning, Little Bit!” Michael said cheerfully, oblivious to my panic. “This is Chris, I’m trying to recruit him for my current project.”

“We actually met on the plane yesterday,” Chris said, winking at me with a smirk, “Morning, Lena. Love your shirt.”

I quickly glanced down, forgetting what I was wearing, and realized I still had on my old Red Sox tank and a pair or navy-blue sleep shorts.

“Thanks” I laughed nervously, “Good Morning.”

“Grab a seat Lena and join us for breakfast” Michael offered, “Lia had to meet with a client this morning, but will be back later.”

I sat down, next to Michael, which put me directly across from where Chris was sitting. I grabbed some grapes from the fruit bowl and placed them on the plate in front of me. Michael passed a platter of bacon and toast, so I added some of that to my plate as well.

“Lia made sure to make some of the bacon extra crispy for you too” Michael said shaking his

head, “although by that point it’s like eating straight bacon bits.”

“I’ll only eat it when it’s crispy because I can’t stand the idea that I’m gnawing on pig fat.” I replied, sticking my tongue out at him. “You’re lucky I’m even eating pork again.”

“There was a time you didn’t eat pork?” Chris asked, his eyebrow cocked.

“I had to dissect a pig in my honors biology class sophomore year.” I replied, “my lab partner was a little over zealous, and after a week of picking at a pig carcass, I couldn’t bring myself to eat pork anymore.”  

“She wouldn’t eat any meat for about a month.” Michael added smiling at me.

“What made you decide to start eating meat again?” Chris asked curiously.

“I missed cheeseburgers” I shrugged, “Being a vegetarian wasn’t working for me, so I decided to be a porketarian instead.”

Chris laughed, shaking his head, “How long did you go without eating pork?”

“I just started eating it again about a year ago.” I admitted. “So, about 20 years.”

“That’s a long time.” he said looking shocked, “What made you decide to eat it again?”

“She missed bacon” Michael replied.

“Pretty much” I agreed. “I missed BLTs… and turkey bacon wasn’t the same.”

“Fair enough” Chris said.

“So, what’s on your agenda today Mickey?” I asked my brother, steering the conversation away from me.

“I have a couple of meetings at the studio but I should be wrapped up by late afternoon, I was planning on grabbing steaks on the way home so we can throw them on the grill tonight.” He replied, “What are your plans for today?”

“I was thinking of going to grab coffee, or a beverage of some kind today” I smirked at Chris.

___________________________

That’s all I’ve got! Should I make a part 2?? Thanks for reading!!

#chris evans #fanfic

[just-some-girlll]

home.

Kara and Lena’s relationship as told by the different spaces in Kara’s loft.

-

i. front hall.

it’s an entryway. a starting point.

here, Lena would linger just a little bit too long after their movie nights – not quite ready to leave, but also hesitant to overstay her welcome. she’d smile at Kara, one of those warm and sleepy ones that no one else gets to see. tell her, ‘thank you for having me. i had a nice time,’ before sinking into Kara’s warm embrace that lasts for maybe a little too long.

it’s where Kara first thinks of asking Lena to stay over.

‘it’s cold,’ she’d say, ‘and late. you should stay.’

‘are you sure?’ Lena would say, because she’s polite and reluctant to intrude.

‘of course.’

‘okay.’

that didn’t happen.

they’d danced around their feelings for years, tip-toeing that fine line between friendship and something more. then Lena had found out about Supergirl, about how Kara had lied for years, about how everyone had lied for years.

that’s when their movie nights stopped. when everything stopped.

Kara would come home late into the night, bone-tired and numb. she’d stumble into her apartment, kick the door shut behind her, and drop back against it with a muffled thud. her glasses would get tossed aside, same with her bag and coat, and then she’d slide down the door until she was sitting on the cold wood floor. sometimes she’d cry, sometimes she’d just sit and stare, but what was always consistent, was that blue emptiness she felt in her heart.

it’s where, months after fighting, Lena stands, asking for help. and it’s where, months after fighting, Kara stands, feeling that emptiness in her heart slowly begin to fill.

it’s an entryway. a starting point. a place where their relationship begins to heal.

ii. living room.

an open space, and where Kara and Lena take those first few steps at healing. together.

there’s some shouting – lots of it actually – but it doesn’t come from a place of anger or hate, rather hurt and love. and soon enough, the shouting stops. that’s when the quiet sets in. it’s like the quiet after a storm: everything’s been unearthed, thrown around, and is just waiting to be picked up in soft, careful hands. that takes a while – Thanksgiving comes and goes – but they do that together too.

Kara starts hosting game nights again, and Lena starts coming to those too. their movie nights are still on hold, and Lena rarely stays after nine, but it’s progress.

it’s early in the new year when their movie nights start up again, and by complete accident as well. everyone had been over for game night. Lena had fallen asleep on Kara’s couch during a bout of Jenga, and everyone had left not long after. when she’d woken up, Lena saw Kara at the other end of the couch, feet curled beneath her, and nursing a cup of tea as the opening credits of The Goonies played on the TV.

‘what time is it?’ Lena asked, sitting up and stretching her back.

‘late,’ Kara said, almost a little sad. ‘i can fly you home.’

‘that’s okay.’

Kara nodded. ‘do you wanna watch the movie with me?’

‘yeah,’ Lena said, and then she smiled that warm sleepy smile that only Kara gets to see.

iii. dining room.

some say the kitchen is the heart of any home, but Kara likes to think the dining room is a worthier choice. it’s a place to talk, to gather, to reconnect.

she hosts Thanksgiving most years there, stuffs mismatched chairs around the table so everyone can fit, and makes a point to claim the seat beside Lena, even if it means she has to sit on the not-quite-sturdy lawn chair for dinner and dessert. she has to hover a fraction of an inch because she’s genuinely worried the chair may give out beneath her.

don’t tell Eliza though. she has a rule about no powers at the table.

it’s totally worth it though, because, with everyone stuffed around Kara’s table, it means everyone’s pressed close together. it means Lena’s sitting almost flush to Kara’s side. it means Lena’s hand brushes against Kara’s when they’ve finished eating and resting their hands on the table, pinkies reaching out and linking together.

if anyone notices, they don’t say a thing.

it’s also a place of certainty, Kara realises one morning as she's eating breakfast. unlike the front hall and living room, there’s no mystery about what you’re supposed to do in the dining room.

it’s as she takes a sip of orange juice, mulling over the events of the last year and a bit, that she realises her and Lena seem to be exactly where they were before everything blew up in her face. it’s as she dunks her spoon back into her bowl of cereal, that she realises she's never been happier. and it’s as her phone pings with a new message from Lena – confirming plans for lunch – that she realises she’s in love and has been for a while.

iv. kitchen.

a place of creation, of making things, mostly food, but just as many memories too.

it’s where Kara first made Lena laugh. like, really laugh. one of those laughs that shakes your body, makes you breathless, and leaves you giggling hours later. Kara can’t remember what she did to make Lena laugh that much, wishes she could, but definitely prefers the memory of Lena’s laugh to whatever dumb thing she said or did.

sometimes they sit on the floor too, backs pressed against the cabinets, a bottle of five-dollar wine Kara found in the back of her cupboard and a half-melted tub of Ben & Jerry’s between them. those are the times where they’ll talk well into the night about their hopes and fears, falling deeper as they do.

the first time they kiss is on one of those nights. it started as an unfiltered confession from Lena.

‘i think i’m in love,’ she said, poking her spoon listlessly at the pint of ice-cream.

and Kara felt her heart sink, because Lena loves someone, and that someone isn’t her. ‘yeah?’

‘yeah.’

‘have you told them?’

‘no.’

‘well, they’re lucky, really lucky, if someone as great you loves them.’

‘you think?’

Kara turned her head to look at Lena, stars in her eyes and with one of those soft smiles that says more than words ever could. ‘how could i not?’

and then Lena had asked if she could kiss her, and Kara had sputtered out a confused ‘what?’ too which Lena asked her question again.

Kara had blinked, had understood, and then leant forward to kiss Lena with the biggest grin on her face.

v. bathroom.

it’s a bit of an anything-goes sort of space. a combination of hurt and love and friendship.

hurt, because sometimes they fight. their first big fight as a couple came a few months into their relationship. it had started as a small irritant. some little habit Kara unknowingly picked up in adolescence that drove Lena absolutely mad. as all things do, the annoyance grew as the time they spent together increased. it ended with Lena storming off to the bathroom and locking herself in, and Kara standing in the kitchen, realising she really fucked up.

she gave Lena space and waited a little while before going to the door and knocking gently. the door opened shortly after.

‘sorry for yelling,’ Lena said.

‘sorry for being annoying.’

‘you’re not annoying.’

‘some of my habits are annoying.’

‘so are mine.’

‘we’ll work on it?’

Lena had nodded and smiled.

‘can i have a kiss?’

‘like you even have to ask.’

Kara laughed as she pulled Lena close and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

love, because sometimes Kara will sneak into the shower with Lena, wrap her arms around her waist, and press a line of kisses along her shoulder and neck. Lena had admonished Kara the first time she did it, had said she had a meeting at nine and couldn’t be late. that had only served to spur Kara on.

‘i can be quick,’ Kara had said, her hands wandering up and down Lena’s wet and smooth body.

‘i know you can.’ Lena spun around in Kara’s arms, leant in close so their lips were barely a hairs width apart. ‘but why would you want to be quick? we both know that slow’ —she dipped her hands between Kara’s legs, started with slow teasing strokes— ‘is so much better.’

Kara had moaned and closed her eyes, very happy with where her morning was going. she listened to Lena’s voice, listened as she explained exactly what she’d do to her, what she’d say, and how it’d feel. and then—

the water turned off and Lena slipped out of the shower, telling Kara that she really had to get going and that they’d pick this up later.

friendship, because even though they’re dating, they’ll always be best friends. Lena had let herself into Kara’s apartment late one evening, juggling folders from work, her keys, and a bag of groceries she picked up on her way because she noticed Kara was missing a few things earlier that morning. she’d called out to Kara, and when she got no response, ventured deeper into the loft. the bathroom was where she found Kara, who was stood in front of the mirror with a pair of scissors.

‘really?’ Lena had laughed, stepping into the bathroom and over the strands of blonde hair scattered across the floor.

‘i was bored.’

‘so you decided to cut your hair?’

‘yes?’

‘need a hand?’

‘please.’ Kara all but threw the scissors into Lena’s hands before she sat down on the closed toilet.

Kara had thanked Lena when she was finished, and Lena had replied with a simple, ‘that’s what friends are for.’

‘we’re girlfriends, Lee.’

‘yeah, but we’re still friends.’

‘the best of friends.’ and then Kara had pressed a quick kiss to Lena’s cheek before darting off to get started on dinner.

vi. bedroom.

this is an open space. an honest space. like the living room but only for the two of them. they don't have secrets anymore. this is where they share them. some big or small, and others new or old. it’s no secret that they love each, not anymore. those quiet declarations of love whispered into the dark as they both lay on their sides facing each other, fingers twisted together, and legs a tangled mess beneath the sheets. the first time Kara said those three words was in her bedroom.

‘i love you,’ she had said in the quiet. Lena had been asleep, her breath steady and body free from the invisible weight she carries with her each day.

she wanted to test the words, see how they felt on her tongue, and sounded to her ears.

she decided that they’re good words. words Lena should hear.

Kara drifted off to sleep with those three words on her mind. it was the first thing she said when she woke up in the morning. Lena had smiled sleepily, eyes still closed and limbs heavy with sleep.

‘love you too,’ Lena said before sleep pulled her back and Kara pressed a featherlight kiss to the tip of her nose.

ao3

#supercorp #sc fanfic #my writing #i did post this last week #but i'm kinda proud of this one #so i'm sharing it here too

[cirrius-akiyo]

YOU ARE MADE OF STARDUST

(Part 1/?)

Evan: I'm craving for cheesecake. I'm going out to get some. Do you want any?

Eddie is helping Hen stocking up the ambulance after their last call depleted 'em dry when the notification came in. His eyebrows shot up after reading the message. 

 Eddie: You know you are not allowed to drive yet. I'll get you some later. 

Evan: :( But the doctor said I'm clear for light activities. I'm driving. Not running there. :<

Eddie: Which is still a bad idea with your condition. 

Evan: But I'm dying for a cheesecake. How could you. :( 

Eddie: You will not die from a cheesecake craving.

Evan: Meanie. I'll have the bed for myself tonight. >:(

 

Eddie can't help but to let his eyes roll so far, he thinks he saw his brain back there. He can actually hears how Buck is huffing in displeasure right now, looking like a kicked giant golden-retriever. He knows Buck is joking with the "d" word, but after experiencing how near death is always lurking around, the word just send shudders to his spine. 

He can hear Hen snorts in amusement beside him. "Already looking for trouble, that husband of yours?" Hen teases in mirth. 

Eddie just shakes his head in resignation. "According to him, he's dying for a cheesecake and wanted to drive out to get some. And now I'm the bad person for not allowing him to." Eddie rants, hands swinging around to make his point.

Eddie understands the house rests are driving Buck crazy. Not allowed to do everything he usually does himself must be frustrating. If anything, Eddie is actually proud with his husband for not throwing much tantrum in the course of his healing. Eddie's eyes proceed to linger on his phone's wallpaper, the recent image of Buck and Chris snuggled in their blanket fort acts as a reminder for him that Buck is still here. 

Hen, blessed the patron of observance that she is, notices how Eddie's facial expression suddenly falls. She gingerly moves closer to Eddie, patting his back in an consoling motion. "Eddie. Buck is okay. Little scratch there, but he is fine." Hen enunciates to Eddie slowly, like she usually would when comforting the distressed victims during calls. 

That makes the wall Eddie has build so thick and high crumbling down. 

"But he almost not be." Eddie chokes on tears. "He almost leave us, Hen. Buck almost died." Eddie swallows the bitter taste on his tongue. Oh God. Saying that out loud just make the whole ordeal more concrete. More tangible than Eddie had previously perceived. He was in a state of constant obscurity after the doctor delivered the news when Buck was admitted to the hospital. Feeling like the color of the world seeped out from the corner of his eyes, leaving only grayish fog in his view. 

Hen is now hugging Eddie, letting him to cry out his burden away. "Hey now. It's okay. Everything will be just fine."

"But what if it's not? I kissed another woman on the night before he collapsed, Hen." Eddie admits. He never tell anybody about that night, too ashamed of himself. But also afraid of the judgment that may come with it. 

Hen stalled. Her face morphes in confusion.

"But isn't that the night of the parents-teachers conference?" Hen frowns, recalling her memory to that day. It's not like Eddie goes to a bar or something. 

Eddie nods weakly. 

"Who?" Hen queries. Her face returns back to neutral and it make Eddie queasy in his stomach even more.  

"Ana." 

Oh boy. Hen knows Buck is insecure about Shannon, uncomfortable with the thought that he is replacing her in the Diaz's household. Hen also knows other women that Buck are still insecure about are Lena and Ana, both of different reasons but it is not her place to say. 

"Have you talk about it?" Hen then pries. She is still regretting the day she decided to cheat on Karen with her ex, and the downfall Denny might has to suffer. She knows what had happened between Karen and her was bad, so she is confident Buck and Eddie will come back from this, seeing that Buck didn't kicked Eddie out of his hospital room once he woke up actually lucid. 

"He forgives me, Hen. Easily." Eddie sighs. He still feels like he doesn't deserve love from Evan Buckley. Evan Buckley-Diaz now. "He forgives me too easily." Eddie murmurs under his breath, not intending for Hen to hear, but she heard them anyway. 

"If Buck forgives you, then maybe you need to  start forgiving yourself too." Hen offers. 

 

"We're only humans floating on a rock

But I think that you are made of stardust

Unconditional, you put up with so much

I can never repay the way you love

Back to the sky, we all have to fly back home, back home

The sweetest goodbyes are never with smiles at all"

 

///

 

Eddie swings open their house door without any grace, blaming his occupied hands. He can hear the clacking sound of his son's crutches and the stomping of Buck's socks-clad feet coming towards him. Within seconds, his once full hands are left empty when the box exchanged ownership. The duo are gone as fast as they come, robbing the cake away from Eddie. 

"Well hello to both of you, too." Eddie huffs in mock annoyance. 

The boys are too busy in deciding which flavor of cheesecake to start off with to even acknowledge Eddie's jeer. Eddie just smile fondly, not slightly bothered. He then snakes his hands around Buck's waist and pulls on his stomach so that Eddie's chest collides with his husband's back, tendering a chaste kiss to the corner of Buck's full lips. 

"Kiss later Daddy. Pops and I need to choose now." Chris admonishes him, as if Eddie just disrupt their very top-level mission. 

"Listen to our son. You know how much this decision is important to both of us. And you have me tortured all day craving for these." Buck teases, fluttering his eyelashes sinfully. 

"Well, sorry for missing my husband." Eddie pulls his lips downwards, feigning hurt but tighten his hug regardless. 

"You know I miss my cheesecake more than ever today. So can you please go take a shower while we plate this. You stink." Buck continues to bat his eyelashes, poking fun at Eddie. 

Loosening his hold on his husband, Eddie reluctantly walks over to their bedroom, ready to wash away the day. Being alone in their room, Eddie remembers what Hen had said. Forgiving himself. Eddie never thought that is an option until Hen had spelled out to him today. It is a nice concept. Nevertheless, Eddie cannot see himself doing just that yet. Eddie feels like if he ever forgives himself, then whatever Buck has endured is meaningless. Eddie does not deserve the salvation, what more from himself no matter how nice the sentiment is. 

Eddie is brought back to the reality when his phone vibrates in his back pocket. 

 

Evan: Better be quick. I'm not to be accountable for a sugar-high child tonight. ;)

 

Eddie lets out a chuckle, his self-loathing forgotten for a moment.

***

Showered and shaved, Eddie steps out to the kitchen where Chris and Buck are still sitting around their plates of half-eaten cheesy and sugary goodness, chatting about something school related. Seeing Eddie, Buck immediately stood up and walks towards the oven, pulling out Eddie's share of dinner, still perfectly warm when Eddie took the plate from Buck. What has Eddie done in his previous life to deserve this man. 

Sitting down next to Chris, Eddie can see the anticipation bubbling from Buck's face as he scoops up a hefty serving of lasagna with his spoon. Eddie doesn't need to pretend. He actually  honest to God lets out a huge appreciative moan when he took the bite. No offense to Bobby, but Buck is surpassing the Captain in no time in the cooking department. 

And there are the twinkles again. 

The twinkles that Eddie has longed before and now seeing them making their comeback just make Eddie's appetite that somehow was lost to grow. 

"I love you." The words automatically fall out of his mouth, despite being loaded with food. He can imagine Abuela scolding him for talking with his mouth full. 

Buck's cheeks tinted with pink. "You only love my cooking." Buck flusters, eyes looking everywhere but Eddie. His forks keep poking the remaining cheesecake in his plate. He's used with Eddie's declarations of loves, but often they are done privately. Other time is just chaste exchange of kisses and hand-holding or sometimes they were said in playful banter. Not in serious manner as how Eddie just did. 

Chris, blessed his innocent soul supplies, "No Pops. Daddy really loves, loves you. He's very sad when you're sick." Oh. Buck knows Eddie must be worried, but he is good at masking his emotions especially in front of Chris. For Chris to be able to see that, Eddie must has shown his vulnerability, which is unusual. Now the pink has changed to red. 

Eddie think it is impossible for Buck's cheeks to get redder than this. Eddie can actually see the flush travels down his neck to his chest and he tries his best suppressing the urge to imagine how far the tint goes like they usually does when they are in their bed. A child is present, Eddie. 

"I, I... I love you, too." Buck finally confess shyly. 

Chris cheers in delight while finishing his last bite of cake in one inhale.

"Am I still on the couch tonight?" Eddie wiggles his eyebrows seductively which only successfully making Buck to blush deeper. 

"You are." 

 

"But when our lives are running out

And your heartbeat has taken the draw

Could you try to look around?

I'll be there to pull you back up

I'll be around you

I'm nothing without you

I won't leave you alone

'Cause when the stars are falling down

There's love in the dark (I'll be there) (I'll be there)

There's love in the dark (I'll be there) (I'll be there)"

 

///

 

Eddie in fact did not end up on the couch.

Waking up to some delicious smell is not foreign in the Buckley-Diaz household now Buck has taken over the position as their chief chef. Buck literally is their savior, saving Chris and him from the damnation cereals, frozen meals and takeouts.  

Eddie rubs the sleep off his face, still feeling the leftover fatigue from yesterday. A 48 hours shift will never get easier no matter how accustomed his body might be. 

No matter how inviting the smell is, he knows he needs to wash up first or else Buck will dismiss him from the kitchen. "We don't mix filth and food at this table, Eddie." Not that Buck really mind when Eddie christened the kitchen, making Buck bending over the dining table some times ago. 

Later Eddie will find vast array of baking ingredients on the kitchen counter still unpacked in the shopping bags. 

"What are you doing?" Eddie asks once he steps into the kitchen. 

Buck turns around from the stove. "Erm...French toast?" He then expertly flips the toast to its other side. "Yours will be ready in a minute."

Eddie shuffles closer, stroking Chris' hair who is happily nibbling at the toast Buck had prepared for him. 

"No, Evan. I'm talking about the baking ingredients. Did you go out to buy all this?" Eddie's voice full of concern. 

Buck proceeds to transfer the toast to an awaiting plate before turning off the stove. "What if I did?" He challenges defiantly. 

"Evan, you know you shouldn't drive by yourself. Not yet." Eddie pulls Buck's hands into his. 

Buck's face breaks into mischievous grin. "No, you worrywart. Carla brought this over when she stopped by this morning." 

Eddie doesn't realise he was holding his breath. "Why didn't you ask me to buy them for you?" 

Buck actually scoffs. "Because you will mess with the list, opting sub-standard brands in favour for cheaper ingredients. Which I will not tolerate because this is too important." 

"And what is this that is too important to not have subpar ingredients in them?" Eddie knows Buck loves to bake, more than cooking actually. But the amount of ingredients on their kitchen counter is almost equivalent to what a bakery needs daily. 

That only makes Buck to grin even wider. "Tell your Daddy, Chris." Buck calls out.

"Bake Sale!" Chris shouts in excitement from his chair, hands high in the air cheering to the news. 

///

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Eddie chance a glance to Buck who is still unpacking the ingredients from the shopping bags, separating them from dry to wet. They have enough ingredients to bake almost anything, so Chris is in the living room, tasked to research on what will they bake for the school's Bake Sale. 

Buck looks at Eddie with confusion etched on his face. "Why wouldn't I be?" Buck asks without hesitation.

Eddie exhales. "Ana will be there." Now Eddie wish for a hole to swallow him down so he doesn't have to face his husband scrutinizing eyes. 

Buck pauses. "So? Why is that a problem?" Buck replied back, tone almost challenging. 

Eddie doesn't really know how to react to Buck's questions. He then clears his throat. "I...I don't want you to get uncomfortable." He stutters, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

A beat of silence wash over them. 

After a moment, Buck closes their distance, pulling Eddie forward. Buck smells like cinnamon and powdered sugar.

"Maybe I want to be there." Buck honest to God smirks at him. "Maybe I want to stake my claim." He whispers behind the shell of Eddie's ear, making him shudders in delight and terror. "Maybe I want to show her that you're mine. That I'm yours." Buck continues boldly, slyly. 

Eddie feels the heat burning him all over. He takes a shuddering breath, all while thinking about Chris in the living room to prevent him from grinding their hips together. Oh God. Is this how Buck will punish him from now on? To let him succumbs to blue balls? 

"Pops, I found it!" Christopher pipes in from the living room, yelling in delight. 

"I'll be there in a second, buddy." But Buck's seductive smile doesn't falter. In fact, he proceeds to wet his red lips sinfully before kissing Eddie deeply. It takes all of Eddie's willpower not to moan, but as fast as the kiss start, Buck breaks apart with teasing grin and a wink. Eddie's mouth went dry.

Dear, Lord. 

Eddie then is left alone in the kitchen with a hard on. Why does Buck likes to torture him this way? If this is the path to his salvation, dear God please help him. 

///

Just like the weather forecast had predicted, it's raining cats and dogs that night. Eddie leaves the couch and walk towards Chris' bedroom to check on his son in case he is woken up by the thunder and lightning dancing outside their windows. Seeing that Chris is still sleeping undisturbly, he decides to settle for the night, switching off the television and checking at all the locks again. 

When he enters their bedroom, he can see Buck's messy curls poking out from under the duvet. Buck is sleeping in the center of their bed, leaving little to no space for Eddie to squeeze in. 

Eddie stroke the soft curls lovingly. Usually that does the trick to wake Buck up. "Hey, darling. Move over a little will you." Eddie pulls down the duvet, but Buck doesn't budge. 

"Evan, you need to move over a bit so I can slide in." Eddie slowly shakes his husband gently, trying to rouse the man. Still no response. 

Worry immediately creeps into Eddie. He ungracefully kneels beside the bed, half of his body on the bed. "Please Evan, open your eyes. Hey, Evan. Wake up." Eddie craddles Buck's head in his hand, tapping his cheek firmly. Yet Buck's eyelids remain glued shut. 

"Sweetheart, please wake up. Please." Eddie pleads brokenly, still shaking Buck's shoulder. When Buck's head lolled back, his features slack and unmoving, Eddie can feel his heart stutters. 

No. Not again. Not yet. Not like this. God. Oh God.

"I'd do anything to relive our memories

And listen to your songs play in my head

'Cause I hate the silence, it's the only thing I get

I wish I could hear your voice once again

And your heartbeat, all of the small things, oh, oh

The sweetest goodbyes are never with smiles at all"

///

#cirrius akiyo's bunkdump #edmundo diaz #evan buckley #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie #buddie fic #buck!whump #buddie fanfiction #911 fics #911 fic #911 fanfic #911 fox #rambler not writer

[helloalycia]

cheater [two] | kara danvers

summary: just when you thought you were getting over your ex, she manages to find a way to weasel her way back in and make you doubt what you thought you had

warning/s: none.

author's note: I'll be posting part 3 tomorrow (the final part) so stay tuned! I've also got a lena imagine coming up the day after! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! :) 

part one | part three | masterlist | wattpad

Kara was becoming a frequent presence more and more in life as time went on. She was always there for me to count on, even when I didn't know I needed it, and I was extremely grateful. I wasn't even sure why she ever took a liking towards me, but I was lucky she did.

She'd come over to mine every other evening and invited me over to hers as well, and I welcomed the distraction whilst in the healing process of Anna and I's breakup.

I'd see the she-devil around work as little as I could manage, along with her new girlfriend – because of course they were dating now – but I tried not to let it affect me. Every time I found myself self-deprecating, I tried to remember it wasn't my fault. She was just a shitty person.

Eventually I stopped getting pitiful looks off people around the office. It wasn't helping with my self-esteem. Kara was a big help with that though, managing to glare people into looking the other way. It was funny after a while, how she stuck up for me like nobody had before.

I wanted to thank her somehow, for being there for me, but I wasn't sure what to do or how to even go about it. I wanted it to be meaningful, but I was never good at saying things outright. Maybe I could write it, I was always better with written words...

"...could do with a bagel right about now," Kara said, practically salivating at the thought.

I laughed, raising an eyebrow. "We literally just ate lunch. You're always hungry."

"Girl's gotta eat," she said simply, patting her stomach.

I rolled my eyes playfully, looking back to my computer for a moment. I was browsing Amazon for a new bookshelf and I asked Kara over to my desk for her opinion.

"This one," I said, turning my monitor around so she could see. "It doesn't look too hard to put together and it would fit well next to my TV, right?"

She leaned down to get a better look, nodding her head. "Yeah, that could work. Are you good at putting things together?"

I almost snorted. "No way."

"I can help if you want," she said with a laugh. "I'm pretty good at DIY if I do say so myself."

"Cheers." I smiled with amusement, watching how her eyes lit up at my dismay. Worth it.

My smile faded when I heard the irritating voice of Katy. I saw she was in our department, talking to one of the other reporters. Her whole being infuriated me and I could never control my annoyance when I saw her. She glanced at me, smirking, before continuing her chat with whoever.

"I can mix her coffee with laxatives if it makes you feel better," Kara spoke, gaining my attention. It took me a moment to realise what she said, and when I looked at her, I saw the seriousness in her eyes.

I cracked a smile, shaking my head. "You can't do that."

She mirrored my smile, shrugging. "Well, I could, but I shouldn't."

"There should be hearing aids invented that simply tune out her voice," I said, rolling my eyes a little. "She really bugs me."

"Yeah, it sucks, but at least it's a very rare occurrence that she's here," Kara said, trying to find the bright side of things.

"I guess, but– woah!"

I widened my eyes when I saw Kara suddenly reach in front of my face, catching a pencil sharpener in her hand. She looked down to me with concern and also surprise, before looking up to see where it came from.

"Oh my god, Y/N, that was totally my bad," Katy apologised, approaching my desk.

I stared up at her, surprised at the hint of mischief in her expression.

"That was supposed to go to Jack," she continued, pointing to the desk behind me. "I've got terrible aim."

Something told me only half of that was true.

"You should be more careful next time," Kara said, dropping the sharpener into Katy's hand. She was definitely not impressed as she added, "That could have hurt someone."

"Sorry," Katy repeated, flashing us an 'apologetic' smile before leaving to give Jack the sharpener.

I breathed out with relief, only just realising how close of a call that was. I looked to Kara appreciatively.

"Nice reflexes."

"Yeah," she said, half heartedly, still watching Katy with narrowed eyes, before looking to me. "You okay?"

"Thanks to you," I pointed out. "You really are my own personal hero."

Kara smiled, rolling her eyes as if to distract from the pink spreading across her cheeks. "Whatever."

I scrunched my nose, smiling at how cute she looked, before looking back to my computer. "I guess I'm buying a bookshelf. And you're gonna help me, right?"

"Right."

"Awesome."

***

Some more time passed before I realised how I wanted to thank Kara. It wasn't a big deal, nothing flashy or exciting. In fact, it wasn't the best thing ever, but it was all I could think of that didn't seem silly or fake.

I wrote her a letter. It thanked her for being there for me throughout everything, and how her being there brought us closer together as friends which I was grateful for. It said how I was lucky to have her in my life and so was anybody else who had her, too. She was gracious and kind one of those rare, beautiful souls that I couldn't let go by unnoticed without at least thanking properly.

I knew she didn't like big gifts and lavish presents, so I didn't bother. It wouldn't have felt right anyway – I wanted something more personal. So, I had the note ready to give with some flowers and a little Supergirl keyring that was soon to be explained.

I heard her knock on my door after work and that's when I readied the gifts on the kitchen counter.

"Hey," I greeted the blonde when opening the door.

She looked up and smiled brightly when she saw me. "Hey, I found those Jaffa Cakes you said you missed from home on the way here and thought I'd buy them for the movie." She held a packet of Jaffa Cakes in the air excitedly. "What d'you think?"

I stepped to the side to let her in, accepting the Jaffa Cakes, and grinned widely, unable to contain my appreciation.

"Kara, these aren't just something you 'find' on the way here," I told her, looking up to see her staring at me with anticipation. "You would have had to go to some sort of special store or something. Somewhere that specialises in British sweets and stuff."

Kara waved her hand dismissively. "It wasn't that hard."

I raised an eyebrow knowingly.

She suppressed a smile. "Okay, it was a little hard."

I laughed and moved forward, surprising her with a big hug. She chuckled, returning the embrace.

"If I knew Jaffa Cakes would make you this happy, I would've brought you a lot more," she joked as I pulled away.

"I've got something for you," I said, meeting her eyes with excitement.

"Not Jaffa Cakes I hope, otherwise this is embarrassing."

"Kara!"

"I'm kidding, go on," she said, laughing contagiously. "What have you got, Y/N?"

I put the Jaffa Cakes on the kitchen counter before grabbing the three items I wanted to give her.

"Well, that's a lot," Kara joked again, but I saw the appreciation glimmer in her eyes.

"Come sit down," I said, leading her to the couch. She followed and joined me as I sat down, facing her. "This is a thank you gift. It's kind of dumb, a little embarrassing, but I want to give it to you."

Kara had a smile permanently stuck on her face as she watched me. It made me feel a little nervous under her gaze, but I kept going.

"So, I wrote you a letter because I'm really bad at saying things," I explained, holding out the envelope. "English. Saying– speaking English. God, why am I so nervous?"

She laughed and accepted the envelope.

"But yeah, that's everything. So, you can read that first," I finished, nodding.

I watched hesitantly, as she pulled the note from the envelope and opened it up. Her eyebrows scrunched together with concentration as she read, and I knew I'd written a lot but it didn't make me any less patient to see what she'd say afterwards.

After what felt like forever, she looked up with an expression I couldn't read.

"I made it weird, didn't I?" I said, chewing on my lower lip.

Kara pressed her lips together and shook her head. "Y/N... I... you have a wonderful way with words."

I breathed out with relief.

"Thank you for saying those things," she said, resting a hand on mine, sending shivers up my arm. "It was sweet. And you're welcome."

I smiled softly. "I'm glad you like it." I held out the flowers adding, "These are for you. Just a little something extra."

Kara chuckled, accepting the flowers. "They're beautiful."

"And finally, there's this," I said, holding out the little blue box. "It's kinda stupid, but yeah."

She accepted the box, too, opening it up to reveal a Supergirl keychain.

"So, Supergirl is National City's hero, right? Well, I thought it would be funny because you're, well, you're mine. I mean, you helped me through my shitty breakup, and even before then, you've always been a big help with work. I just thought it could be a little reminder that I'm grateful for all the good you do. Like Supergirl, y'know?"

Kara lifted the keychain from the box and laughed, nodding her head. "This is amazing, Y/N. I love it."

"You do?"

"Yes," she said, lowering the keychain and meeting my eyes with her excited blue ones.

"Good. I... good."

She grinned, leaning forward to give me a quick hug. I smiled to myself, glad she liked it. My hammering heartbeat relaxed when we pulled away.

"Now to find a place to put it," she said, making me chuckle. "Wait a minute..." She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her keys, attaching the keychain onto them, joining a fluffy cat and some other keys. "There. Perfect."

"Perfect."

***

I watched as the barista put whipped cream on my hot chocolate and sprinkled chocolate powder on top, making me excited. It was a chillier day in National City today, so I was picking up a drink on my break at Noonan's when I felt a familiar presence beside me.

"Y/N, hey."

I glanced over my shoulder and swallowed hard when I saw Anna, smiling awkwardly at me.

"Here you go," the barista grabbed my attention, placing my drink in front of me. "Enjoy!"

"Cheers," I said, grabbing my cup, before turning around to see Anna still, watching me. "Er, hey."

"I see you're also on your break," she noted, nodding to the drink in my hand. "Tea?"

I shook my head, still wrapping my head around the fact that we were speaking. I'd been successfully avoiding her for a few months now, and eventually I got over her and what she did to me. I didn't understand why she was attempting to talk to me now though – surely she had gotten the hint?

"Hot chocolate," I corrected her, pursing my lips, unsure whether to leave.

Anna accepted her drink from the barista before glancing at me. "It's been a while since we've spoken. I've been meaning to have a chat with you. I know you didn't want to speak to me, but I thought that it's been a while since then, so maybe you're up for it now?"

I raised my eyebrows. "I don't really know what there is to say, Anna."

"Please," she added, her voice suggesting a hint of desperation. "I won't be long."

I felt the heat from my hot chocolate in my hand remind me that I was going to head back to CatCo, but Anna seemed like she had something important to say. And I felt like I was emotionally mature enough to finally hear her out, or at least be civil with her, for the sake of our work relationship.

"Yeah, sure, okay," I agreed reluctantly, before leading her to a table by the window.

We sat opposite each other, clutching our takeaway cups nervously, unable to meet each other's eyes. Until finally, she spoke.

"You seem well," she said softly, and I could feel her gaze on me, "since, y'know..."

"Since I broke up with you after you cheated on me," I reminded her, meeting her eyes.

She licked her lips, nodding. "Right."

"What was it exactly you wanted to talk to me about, Anna?"

"I broke up with Katy," she said abruptly.

"It wasn't exactly a relationship destined to work out considering the circumstances in which it formed, was it?"

She gave me a knowing look. "Y/N."

I shook my head. "What do you want me to say, Anna? How would you like me to react?"

She was staring into my eyes as if expecting me to know what she was thinking, but I didn't. Not anymore.

"I honestly couldn't care less if you broke up with her," I said, truthfully. "It doesn't affect me. Quite frankly, nothing you do affects me. I've moved on."

"I shouldn't have cheated on you."

I breathed out slowly, trying to contain any oncoming anger I was feeling. "I don't care anymore."

"It's nice that Kara is helping you through," she added, a hint of jealousy in her voice, making me roll my eyes.

"Sure is."

"Are you guys a thing or something?"

I stared at her dumbfounded. "You're kidding, right?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. She was deadly serious.

I chuckled with distaste. "You think I owe you an answer? After everything you did to me?"

"So you are together," she said, a little disappointedly.

I clenched my jaw. "No, Anna, we're not. We're just friends if you must know. Not that it's any of your business."

She nodded, glancing down at her coffee cup with a hint of a smile. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes once again.

"Did you wanna talk to me just to remind me of all the shit you put me through?"

"No, no... that's not it," she said, meeting my eyes again. "I broke up with Katy."

I sighed. "You said."

"I broke up with her because I'm still in love with you."

I raised my eyebrows with surprise. Definitely wasn't expecting that.

"You don't seem mad about that," she pointed out hopefully.

"I don't seem happy either," I bursted her bubble, zoning back into reality. "This ought to be good."

"I'm serious, Y/N," she began, what I think was, sincerely. "I'm in love with you still."

I stared at her, so fed up of feeling everything because of her. I didn't even know how to react – I knew I didn't love her, I stopped a long time ago. But I was so exhausted with dealing with what she put me through that my brain didn't know what to do as she was speaking.

"You remember the part where you cheated on me, right?" I asked, quirking a brow.

"You're not taking this seriously," she decided.

"You bet your arse I'm not taking this seriously," I agreed, narrowing my eyes. "You broke my heart, Anna. You went off and slept with another woman whilst we were together – you cheated. You made me feel like shit."

"I know that," she said regretfully. "I know. I was horrible! I didn't appreciate what I had, okay? You were always so nice and loving. You cared about me so much and it became suffocating, infuriating! I hated it, that we were so..."

"Perfect?" I filled in for her, feeling a lump forming in my throat.

"Exactly," she said, her eyes softening as they met mine. "You loved me too much and I hated it then, but I miss it now. I miss us. I'm here to ask you for another chance."

I pursed my lips, wondering how on earth she thought she could have me back after everything she'd done. And now knowing why she'd cheated in the first place, something I thought I never needed to know... I didn't want to admit it, but it fucking hurt.

"You just told me that my love, the way I treat the people I care about, is suffocating," I said, swallowing hard. "Why the hell would I want to be in a relationship with you? Aside from the fucking obvious?"

I pushed my stool out and stood up, grabbing my bag and hot chocolate.

"Y/N, no, wait–!"

"You know, I don't remember you being this much of an arsehole when we were together," I said, staring at her one last time before storming past her and out of Noonan's.

As I headed back to CatCo, I tried to understand what the hell just happened. I was over Anna – I'd worked so hard to get over her, and with Kara's help, I had. I was convinced that I didn't need to know why she cheated, I mean, why does anyone cheat? I didn't think there'd be a reason. But now, knowing that there was a reason, and it was because of me apparently, it hurt. That same pain I felt those few months ago after finding out she was cheating, returned, even if it was for a split second.

Was I really too much when with those I cared about? Did I care too much? Was I too kind? Too loving? I didn't think that was possible, but now... I shouldn't have believed anything Anna said, yet it was lingering in the back of my head and I couldn't get rid of it.

When I reached my desk, I sat down and tried to get on with some work, but my head was still elsewhere, processing what Anna had told me. She still loved me, okay, that didn't bother me as much. I didn't love her at all, not anymore, not after how she treated me. She cheated on me because I was too much for her, too 'perfect'... that one was still a horrible thought embedded in my mind now. I had ironically pushed her away because I cared too much about keeping her close.

I'd barely gotten any work done when I saw a message pop up on my computer screen. It was from Kara, who was probably sat at her desk on the other side of the room.

KARA: Hey, we still on for takeaway and a movie tonight at mine? I'll let you pick the food.. :D

I was about to respond with a 'yes', but then I thought about what Anna said. I hated that she was making me second guess my friendship with Kara, but if what she said was true, then the last thing I wanted to do was push Kara away because I was too clingy.

ME: I think I'm gonna be staying late tonight to finish some work off. Maybe next time?

Yeah, that would work. I just needed to hold off for a bit. Kara and I had been hanging out quite a bit lately, and after giving her that keyring we– god, that keyring! That was so stupid! That was clingy, for sure. If I kept this up, caring for her too much, she might end up like Anna – feeling suffocated and trapped. I needed to slow it down. Give Kara some space to have a life, too. She'd been there for me so much that I barely let her do her own thing. It surely must have been annoying for her. The last thing I wanted was her hanging out with me because of some obligation she felt she had.

KARA: oh, okay, that's fine! anything I can help with? I don't mind staying back with you

ME: I should be okay, thanks anyway

I saw she wrote something else, but I decided to leave it at that and get on with my work. I still felt my heart hurting a little, and I wasn't sure if it was because of what Anna said or because of my newfound fear of losing Kara at my own hand.

#kara danvers x reader #kara danvers imagines #kara danvers imagine #kara danvers #melissa benoist #supergirl x reader #supergirl imagine #supergirl

[coeurdastronaute]

Titan 4

Previously on Titan

From the elevator, the guests could hear how busy the penthouse grew with every ding and opening of the doors. Every light was on, and every door was opened leading out onto the balconies and patios. Albert slept uneasily on a pile of coats on the guest bed, and no one knew as they were distracted with re-welcoming the returned lovebirds. The murmur of friends and family, mixed with the music and the evening and the summer breeze that whispered in from the balcony.

The dining room table was full-- glasses of mixed levels, empty and full bottles of wine, lots of amazing food. The faces around it all laughed and talked over and across of each other, while the evening grew long and deep into the night, unnoticed by anyone at all.

While it was once very empty, despite Kara’s best attempts, the penthouse warmed with its new furniture and nicknacks. After just a month back, it all felt still new and familiar at the same time. The city was the same, the work was the same, and yet everything was skewed slightly, and they were different people.

As everyone finally sat down, as Kara finally finished fluttering around the table, and Lena finished topping off glasses and chatting with Eliza about some shared research methods, as Jss mocks James for his cover story, and earns a laugh from Kat who yells down the table for Lucy to recall a time in Budapest, and so on and so forth, the couple finally found themselves sitting close together at dinner.

Kara winked at Lena between a smile and a talk with her sister. Lena smiled at all of it and decided that she needed more nights like that.

“Thank you everyone, for coming to this dinner, and I guess a welcome back party,” Kara stood from her chair after earning a slight nudge from Lena.

The voices chattered their approval, clapping their hands and making the host blush slightly.

“But we didn’t invite you here just as a re-house warming.”

“Are you leaving again?” Alex interrupted.

“Adopting?” Eliza smiled over her glass of wine.

“Engaged?” Nia squealed.

“Close. Um,” Kara gulped and looked at Lena. “We wanted everyone here to tell them-- well… we had to explain-- about how… see--”

“What Kara is trying to say,” Lena stood and rubbed Kara’s shoulder. “Is that before we came back, I asked Kara to marry me.”

“I knew it!” James shook his head as he wagged his finger, leaning forward at the table. “I told you Lucy.”

“And we got married,” she continued, the shock registering quite quickly. “A very quick afternoon trip to the courthouse, and a honeymoon planned for the summer.”

The quiet was a noticeable difference from the hubbub of the party. Kara gulped again and sipped her wine more eagerly. She felt Lena grip her shoulder and then hug her bicep tight as she could. It was an anchor when Kara very badly wanted to float away and disappear.

At one end of the table, Eliza looked to J’onn for confirmation, earning a slight nod as he smiled into his glass. In the quiet, the mother looked at both of the girls, the same ones she watched grow up together and face some of the most difficult things anyone could imagine-- and she saw how right it seemed.

With a small movement, the matriarch pushed out her chair and made her way around toward the center of the table, where she paused near the couple.

“I am so happy for you, both,” Eliza smiled, eyes growing glasses. She hugged Lena and Kara to her.

The table lashed out with its energy, disbelief and joy raged together in smiles and hugs and jokes and cheers. Down the line, the gobsmacked members of the makeshift family shared in on the celebration because they were too surprised to do much else.

“Welcome to the family,” Eliza smiled as she held Lena’s cheeks. She hugged her tightly and Lena clung to the motherly figure as tightly as she could, burying her nose there.

Among the hugs and all, the mother swallowed Lena in an embrace and kissed her cheek before whispering how much she loved her and wanted her in her family. Lena cried, she couldn’t help it and she hated how happy it made her.

“Does this mean no wedding?” Alex furrowed. “I thought you would want the whole wedding experience.”

“Um,” Kara squinted slightly and looked to her wife. “I think we’re okay without it. It was more important that we just committed, to be a team.”

“But the fancy dress, and the reception, and your family?” Maggie offered, swooning at the thought of her own as she looked at the ring Lena put on.

“We didn’t think you all would mind missing a rather large swaray,” Lena shrugged.

“It’s just something to think about.”

Kara offered a smile and wrapped her arm around her wife’s waist.

“A nice dress would be fun,” she shrugged.

When she was seventeen years old, Lena Luthor fell in love with two things at the exact same time. One, was her beautiful, kind, funny best friend, who had hair like wheat and eyes like the ocean, who ate all of the snacks she set out and still wanted more, who liked to sit and soak up the sun until her skin was burnt.

The second, of course, was the complex system of nerves that connected the bran to the rest of the body. During an anatomy class geared toward mechanical studies, Lena fell absolutely head over heels for the way the body worked and how it could heal and adapt, and more important, how tiny impulses that fired at alarming speeds operated the simplest of movements at a near constant pace. It was a computer, and she was obsessed with computers.

It became her life’s mission to love and understand each of her passions, one she took up very eagerly.

“We had a deal, Sam,” Lena shook her head as she dug into the open guts of a computer-esque system that took up a rather large desk in the corner of the building.

“We did, and you were supposed to be living a stress-free life in South America, but we’re compromising.”

Big brown eyes waited anxiously, surveying the working hands as she leaned against the desk. She was reluctant to admit her job was easier with Lena back. The mega-corporation was a multi-headed beast that required many skilled wranglers, and Lena wasn’t apt to hire many of them, because that would involve trust.

But she had a weakness for the ones she did.

“I’m supposed to be planning my honeymoon, just so you know.”

Lena didn’t look up from her work as she spoke, but rather surveyed after soldering.

“It’s a quick trip, and then you can get back to being ridiculously adorable with Kara. I can’t make it there and to the conference in Paris, where I was summoned.”

“I’d rather answer to the EU assembly than go to Metropolis.”

“And I’d rather go speak at the university, but they settled for you, and it’s commencement. Think of all the impressionable kids that need to hear your words.”

Flattery wasn’t as effective as it was on most, but Sam knew it got her somewhere with her boss. She also knew that Lena was fighting it for reasons other than wanting to stay home all of a sudden.

“The deal was, I do busy work and help with the management side of my company, in exchange for two uninterrupted days of research,” she reminded her appointed president of the company that bore her name. “You do your thing, and I get to do mine. I keep strict hours. I’m learning to cook.”

“Kara can order out for a night,” Sam reminded her. “She can take Ruby for pizza. Then both of them are fed, and hopefully one will keep the other out of trouble.”

“That’s too much responsibility for Ruby.”

“Fly in for the evening, do your speech, shake some hands. The press will be fantastic, and after your marriage news broke, we kind of need something else in the headlines.”

“First, Eliza guilts me, and then Maggie. I didn’t expect you to also be in on this conspiracy to make me have a wedding.”

“No one is making you, I think we just would have liked to have been there,” she shrugged. “And the press loves a good story.”

“There’s no story,” Lena grumbled, exasperated and annoyed. “She’s not some stranger I picked up on the street.”

“A quickie marriage, a swift and quiet return after fleeing in the night-- it’s a very particular story.”

“I’m going to go on this trip, just to get away from all of you.”

“You’ll go then?” Sam didn’t wait. She hugged her friend and earned a grimace before melting. Lena Luthor wasn’t the hardest person to convince when she felt something. “Think of it as a pre-honeymoon,” Sam sang as she wiggled her eyebrows and made her way back towards her own office.

The penthouse was alive as Kara trudged her way home, slightly sloppy from the sudden shower that popped up on her commute home from a long day of hunting down a lead to a very old story she hoped to turn into a rather long article. She expected a few hours of quiet. Thursdays were Lena’s night at the lab, but after her day, Kara was excited to see her wife.

She hadn’t necessarily gotten used to that word-- wife. Kara wrestled with her coat as she tugged the sticky fabric from her arms and fiddled with the ring on her finger. Lena Luthor was her wife. They were forever. The seventeen year old in her was still kind of surprised by it.

Two months back, and they were a married couple that lived in the same city that was nearly torn apart because of them, and that was challenging. Maybe Lena planned n the joys of the first year of marriage as the thing that helped them get over the hump.

“Son of a --”

The pans rattled in the kitchen, blurring out the inevitable swearing.

“How hard is it to make a damn lasagna?” Lena complained as she stared at the mess in the pan.

The rest of the counter was covered in food and bowls, and the smell was a little different, not exactly what Eliza or even Alex could mix up.

“Hey, honey,” Kara muttered as a particularly despondent Lena furrowed at her mess. “I didn’t expect you home… and cooking?”

“I really wanted some comfort food, and Eliza’s lasagna is my favorite, but I can’t get it right,” she pouted, swirling the goopy mess in the pan. “And Sam is making me go to Metropolis.”

“Hm, okay interesting.”

The former hero slowly circled, avoiding her wife only to reach around and fill up two glasses of wine from the half empty bottle on the counter. Sometimes there was no really understanding Lena and her moods, there was simply surviving them.

“Did you see that article?” Lena asked, taking out more things to chop and cook.

“Mhm.”

“Prison paroles employment and education plan.”

“Mmm,” Kara nodded into her glass of wine as she sipped and watched.

“He’s an ass. I should have burned that house down in Metropolis. I should have emptied his accounts. All of them.”

“Yeah.”

“And I have to go to Metropolis. I didn’t even want to come back to National City.”

The pan clanged into the sink as Lena gave up her struggle and tossed it aside, distraught at her failure and everything else.

She was new to the marriage thing, but Kara knew better than to point out the fact that her wife wanted to come back-- felt the need to come back, were the exact words. She definitely wasn’t going to point that out though. She definitely wasn’t going to take the brunt of the pent up anger that was evident toward the lasagna.

“Hey, look, I poured you more wine,” Kara offered, kissing her wife’s cheek and handing over the new cup.

“I have to go to Metropolis, and I have to learn how to make lasagna.”

“Sit, yeah, sit down and drink,” she tutted.

“Why did you make me come back?”

“Because I am a terrible person, and I am only happy when you’re miserable,” Kara explained as she started to dig through the cabinet.

“Don’t say that, you’re spectacular,” Lena disagreed eagerly. “You’re my wife. You can’t say things like that.”

“Before I could though?”

“Well no.”

On the space she cleared, Kara began her work as best she could, prepared to provide sustenance to her worried wife. Sometimes, she was learning, making a peanut butter sandwich after a long day and drinking a very expensive bottle of wine was all that being married meant.

“I’ll go with you, if you want,” Kara offered as she cut the sandwich in half.

“It’s just for a night.”

“Still. I like a night away. A fancy hotel with the good soaps and all that privacy.”

With a smile, Kara handed over half of her sandwich to her wife.

“Are you…. Do you want to spend money?”

“Shut up.”

Lena smiled into her glass while she picked at the sandwich. She didn’t worry about the mess and she didn’t think too hard about much else than a trip with Kara. That was how she survived most of the time.

“We came back here as a team,” Kara explained, her blush moving to her ears as she spoke with conviction. “I’d go anywhere with you. You don’t have to do it alone.”

“Thank you.”

“Good. I’ll thank Sam for giving us a vacation,” she smiled before taking a big bite.

“I have to work.”

“Right, yes, but hotel sex.”

“Today was a really shitty day before you came home,” Lena sighed contentedly as she shared the rest of her sandwich after her wife inhaled her own part. “And you’re slightly damp still.”

“The hazards of marrying a Luthor-- perpetually damp.”

Next

[unityghost]

Resurrection

This, the twentieth installment of the Post-Asmodeus Sabriel Feels series, builds on two suggestions from readers.

1. A happy (ish) scene when Gabriel gets his grace back in a substantive way for the first time and has a real moment of hope for the future would be lovely. - Anonymous (Archive)

2. "I wondered if you'd ever considered what Gabriel's reaction would be if any of them (but especially Sam) came back from a hunt injured, and for whatever hand-wavy reason Castiel didn't immediately heal them [I dunno, send Cas out on a separate hunt with Jack, or be running low on grace and unable to, if I were to brainstorm reasons]." - @gammaspectrum (on Archive)

A side-note: As with Scratches, (yikes, that feels like such a long time ago - I get embarrassed rereading my old stories), I had to set this in Rhode Island because that's where I come from. I tend to feel uneasy mapping out anywhere else so easily in my head (except New York! Maybe sometime I'll do something fun with that).

Rhode Island has a wealth of vampire lore. Sarah Tillinghast and Mercy Brown (known as Lena in day-to-day life) are two of the best-known cases:

https://locationsoflore.com/2018/07/26/the-vampire-case-of-sarah-tillinghast/

https://locationsoflore.com/2018/07/07/the-vampire-case-of-mercy-brown/

Finally, I've written Jack as I normally would: all innocence. I'm pretty squirmy about what just happened in canon.

A general warning: this story (like many of the others) contains subtle references to sexual assault.

“What did you say these were called?” asked Jack.

Gabriel took a sip from his plastic cup of water. Stay hydrated, Sam had reminded him. “Vines. They’re called Vines.”

“I thought a vine was a plant.”

“Yes, these too crawl across the wall that is your brain and overshadow what used to be your identity.”

Jack squinted at the laptop screen. The two of them had gotten lucky with a reliable internet connection in such a run-down motel. “These do seem like something Dean would enjoy in his down-time.”

“Not him. Castiel. Who I think probably found them by accident when he was helping research those vampires they’re after. I happened to be in the same room at the same time and we spent an hour or two just, you know, watching them. All of them. Four hours, maybe? I’m not saying I’m ashamed, but also don’t ask me if I’m ashamed.”

“Sam and Cas said they weren’t looking for vampires,” Jack corrected. “The lore says ‘vampire,’ but they seem to think they’re dealing with vengeful spirits.” He paused. “Why’d you decide to come on the case with them? You hate Rhode Island.”

"I don't hate Rhode Island; I just remember that even in the horse-and-buggy era these people had no sense of vehicular coordination. Anyway, Sam said I can’t be trusted to be by myself for more than two hours at a time without going full Black Swan. And I’m in no position to disagree with him. Besides, I told them I could give them a hand if they wanted me to. Mother Sam insisted I need rest instead. But I’ve had more than my fair share of that.”

Before Jack could reply, there was the familiar billow of wings and Castiel appeared in the room.

“Guys,” he panted.

It was several seconds before Gabriel managed to take in the scene before him. Sam’s arm was slung over Castiel’s shoulders. His face was white and sweaty, and his breaths quick and ragged.

“Sam!” Jack leapt off the bed and hurried over to them.

Gabriel simply stared as they eased Sam onto the bed. “Sam?”

“I can’t heal him,” Castiel ground out. “One of those women, she - well, first she pinned me to the ground and then Sam got her attention so that she attacked him instead. Whatever she did, it took away enough of my grace that I can’t help him. And she seems to have stolen his breath.”

Gabriel blinked. “You can heal him. You have to.”

“I tried. More than once.”

“Try again.”

Just then Sam began gasping, choking, clawing for air that wouldn’t come.

Gabriel pushed himself up from the bed, and somewhere in his mind he registered the slapstick still playing in the background. “Castiel.”

Cas turned to Jack. “Call for help. Dial 911.”

“What are we supposed to tell them?” cried Jack.

“Don’t worry about that; just call them.”

Jack looked around for his cell phone and found it beside the laptop, under a fold in the bedspread.

Feeling dazed, Gabriel picked up Sam’s wrist. His heartbeat was quick and blurry, the surest indicator of a body in panic.

“Sam,” he said again, feeling dazed and distant, eyes trained on Sam’s purpling face.

Even though he knew it was pointless, Gabriel still reflexively tugged at his grace in moments like this. If he wanted to fix something he would normally be able to rectify with his powers, reaching for them was involuntary.

It was also humiliating, since he knew that there was no reason to expect results. Yet here and now, he reached for it, ached for it, hated himself for not having it.

As Sam’s pulse grew slower and weaker, Gabriel wondered what nauseating twist of fate could have turned this seemingly simple hunt into something so disastrous.

“Uncle Gabriel?”

Gabriel tried to speak and found he couldn’t. His skin prickled with icy sweat.

Am I panicking? he wondered. Am I freaking out and I’m not even really freaking out? Is my brain frozen but the rest of me knows what’s happening? What the hell?

“Cas!” shrieked Jack. “Something’s wrong with Uncle Gabriel!”

“Call 911,” Castiel commanded. “I’ll help Gabriel.”

Gabriel grew dizzy, and the next thing he knew there were hands on him, and then a second pair of hands.

“No!” he screeched, struggling, trying to throw them off, not sure whom to fight first.

“Let go!” Gabriel howled. "Let go of me!"

Someone called his name. Gabriel screamed, trying to force release.

“Gabriel!”

Gabriel’s vision edged in and out. He couldn’t see who was holding him down.

“Gabriel, stop! It’s okay, it’s us! It’s Sam and Cas! Hey hey hey, calm down Gabriel, calm down; it’s okay!”

At last, Gabriel managed to wrench himself out of their grip, then rolled over and, with a cry of pain, landed on the floor. He blinked, panting on all fours, trying to let things come back into focus.

“It’s okay,” Sam murmured, crouching beside him. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s all okay. You’re safe.”

Gabriel raised his eyes, trying to get a deep breath. “Oh god. Sam? Sam - ”

“Yeah, I’m right here, buddy.”

Gabriel shivered. “I’m freezing cold.”

“Okay, it’s okay; come on.”

Sam started to pull Gabriel to his feet, but Gabriel shook his head. “Dizzy. Can’t get up. Sorry.”

A moment later, a blanket was draped over his shoulders. He collapsed onto the dirty carpet, trying to will away his headache. The spilled cup of water stared back at him. An ant had crawled into it.

There was a rapid knock at the door, then a woman’s voice. “Who the hell is that screaming in there? Do I gotta call the police?”

Cas frowned and went to open the door. Gabriel couldn’t see who was standing there, but he heard Castiel’s reply: “My son, he’s … terrified of cockroaches. Right, Jack?”

A pause. Then, with surprising persuasiveness: “I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my life!”

“Jesus,” said the stranger, “Keep it together next time. Thought someone was bein’ freakin’ murdered.”

As the door slammed shut again, Sam put a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder. “Do you know where you are?”

“New Hampshire.”

“Rhode Island.”

“Only two New England states with three syllables. Can’t remember which is which.”

“Can you get into bed if we give you a hand? Nice and slow?”

“Don’t even try.”

“Okay. All right. Gabriel, what do you remember?”

Gabriel closed his eyes, trying to think. “Got upset about … about ...”

“You were upset,” said Castiel, “Because Sam couldn’t breathe.”

Gradually, the picture grew clearer: Sam groping for breath, nearing a painful end on a bourbon-stained motel mattress.

Gabriel gasped and jerked upright. The room spun around him and he immediately collapsed again. “Ah, shit.”

“Easy,” said Sam, tightening the blanket around his shoulders. “I’m all right now. Everything’s all right.”

“But how?” Gabriel croaked. “Did it wear off on its own? Because the prognosis looked like a Maroon 5 cover band sounds.”

“Um … well … funny story …” Sam scratched the back of his head. “I think you healed me.”

There was a long pause.

Finally, Gabriel spoke. “That’s not a funny story.”

“You were holding onto me - like this - ” Sam grasped his own wrist, demonstrating. “And you healed me.”

The words swam through Gabriel’s head. He struggled to distinguish one from the other. “What exactly happened?”

“It’s really that simple,” Castiel explained. “It appeared you were caught up in some sort of adrenaline rush, or whatever the angelic equivalent might be. Jack and I both felt your grace - it was like an electric shock. There wasn’t much, but it seems you had enough to save Sam’s life.”

Gabriel turned his eyes to Sam, trying to focus on his face. “What?”

“Cas,” Sam said in a low voice, “If you can help me lift him, get him into bed - ”

"Oh shut up, Sam; I know I’m a charity case, but I swear if either one of you tries to carry me I’ll … I’ll, uh … do whatever I’d threaten to do if I could remember how to make words happen.”

“We just want you to be comfortable,” said Castiel.

“Are you kidding me? This carpet feels like a feather bed after eight hundred years of slimy concrete.”

“All right,” Sam said quietly, “All right. We won’t move you. Do you need anything? Another cup of water, maybe?”

“Not until I can lift my head. What about Jack, where’d he go?”

There was a moment of hesitation. Then Castiel answered, “He had to go outside. He told me the grace was … a little much for him. A surprise. He didn’t expect so much energy all at once.”

“Shouldn’t you have been the one who was affected? He’s half-archangel. He’s supposed to be able to put up with a lot.”

“Well, yes, but I’ve had more experience with exposure to other angels’ grace. It seems to have jarred him. He said he needed some fresh air.”

“Well, go find him. Help him. He needs you, Cas."

Sam and Castiel exchanged a glance, and Gabriel saw Sam’s tiny nod: He wants to talk to me alone.

“Okay,” Cas said to Gabriel. “I’ll go check on Jack. Sam, come find me if you need anything, all right?”

As soon as Castiel had shut the door, Gabriel said, “Start from the beginning.”

“Oh. Well … one of the spirits, Sarah Tillinghast, is supposed to have died of tuberculosis back in the late eighteenth century, then taken out her brothers and sisters in the same way by sitting on them in the middle of the night. The locals figured she was some kind of vampire and dug up her grave. Found the body well-preserved, which I guess they took as confirmation. So they cut out her heart and burned it.”

“Ah. I take it that didn’t do anything except double her beef with them.”

“Yeah, and some hundred years later, another girl - Mercy - same thing happened. Only she doesn’t seem to have been as malicious. People who end up near either of the grave sites report seeing them together a lot. Looks like they formed a friendship.”

“Partners in crime, huh?”

“Not so much. Sarah did most or all of the killing, and Mercy just sort of stuck around. I think she didn’t do as much to deserve the reputation she ended up with. Either she wanted to spend her career as a vengeful spirit being not so vengeful and hanging out with Sarah or couldn’t get away from her for some reason. So Sarah attacked us - Cas first, then me when I managed to pull her off him - while Mercy watched. Not like she was enjoying it. More like she was used to it, but it kind of made her sad. I guess Sarah takes away the life force in whatever she’s got under her; so for me that was the ability to breathe, and for Cas it was apparently his grace.”

“Did you kill them?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, we did. Turned out they weren’t vampires at all, just plain old pissed-off spirits. We burned one of Sarah’s old skirts - the Tillinghasts have had it for a while; they said they’d held onto it for generations because they knew what might happen if a hunter found it. Apparently we’re not the first to try getting rid of her.”

“But why the hell wouldn’t they want her gone?”

“She’d killed off at least one kid every generation. And when a hunter first tried to get a hold of her, she got angrier and killed more. A pair of twins, the family said, and the baby that came after. This was all the way back in the 1940’s. And then I guess no one gave it another shot. Mercy was a little tougher; we had to actually dig her up to get anything that belonged to her. Dean is on his way back now. But listen, I’d rather not get too hung up on the case, okay? We need to focus on you. Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

“Not great. Don’t wanna move. Cold. Head hurts. Might vomit."

“Gabriel.” Sam offered a genuine smile. “You realize what this means, right? Your grace. It’s on its way back.”

Gabriel didn’t reply.

“Gabriel?” said Sam. “Aren’t you happy about that?"

“I …” Gabriel closed his eyes against the pounding in his head. “Yeah.”

Sam waited for him to go on.

Gabriel sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Why?” Sam sounded perplexed. “Why wouldn’t this be a good thing?”

Gabriel kept his eyes shut. “I didn’t realize I had that much.”

“So it should be a nice surprise, shouldn’t it?”

“No.” Gabriel opened his eyes. “I didn’t realize it was there, and … Sam, why is it that I’m still such an epic disaster if I’ve got enough grace not to be?”

A pause, and then: “You think you have to get back to normal just because your grace does?”

Gabriel swallowed. “It isn’t just that.”

“Then what?” When Gabriel remained silent, Sam pressed, “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

Gabriel’s throat tightened.

“Are you just … not ready or something? Is it too much to take in all at once?”

“No, I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

Gabriel started to speak, but the words were too heavy. There was no way he could say what he had to say without breaking down.

Sam spoke softly. “It’s that bad?”

Gabriel tried to take a deep breath but didn’t quite manage it. “I - um - I thought - ” He fixed his eyes upon the moldy ceiling. “I thought that if - that when it started to come back, and I got to be more like who I was - ” His stomach churned with the effort of keeping himself together. “I thought I could help you. And if my grace comes back and I can’t help you, then - ”

“Whoooaaa, whoa whoa whoa.” Sam held up a hand. “We’ve covered this before. None of us want you around just because you could be useful. And we’re not throwing you away if you can’t be. What’s bringing that up again?”

Gabriel clenched his jaw. “Lately I’ve noticed that you treat my brother as an angel first and a friend second. I figure that’s me too. An archangel, and then a passion project, and then maybe a friend. A pet. A stray. I don’t know.”

“Come on, that’s - ”

“And even if I’m wrong, it’s not fair if I can’t repay you. You deserve compensation for everything you’ve done. Everything you’ve sacrificed.”

“Why would you think we expect you to pay us for anything? We’ve been over this. You’re not a house guest, Gabriel.”

“Well, whatever I am, if my grace comes backs and I end up still feeling so afraid all the time, and if I collapse every time I use it, I can’t give you what you deserve. I don’t care whether or not you think you should have it; if I can’t pay my dues, I might as well never have come to stay at all.”

Sam shook his head. “We don’t want anything from you.”

"The point is that you should want something from me. So I’d like to be able to give you a hand with cases. To take the fall you just did and get back up faster. It’d be a good deal - you guys get a little extra ammo, and I get somewhere to hang out.”

“Gabriel, listen - ”

“I know it’s supposed to get better,” Gabriel interrupted, “But better than this is a low standard. And I hate that I’ll never be like I was. Because the the only thing I’ll accept is a total reversal of what’s happening now.” He paused, forcing himself under control. “When I left Heaven - ah, man, it was great. I had so much freedom and I didn’t have to conform to whatever stupid demands those callous asshats came up with. And I knew I wasn’t gonna go back; it was out of the question, but … there was also no replacing what I’d left behind. And of course I had to leave it behind; it was going to kill me, watching all that pointless brutality. But Sam … no matter what I did, no matter where I went, no matter how many friends or lovers or whatever that I came across - I could only pretend to call them family. I could use even enemies to distract me, and to remind me that I’d made a whole world for myself. But at the end of the day, no one and nothing could take the place of - of them."

Sam looked away. “I know. There’s no putting that back. Not really.”

Hearing somebody else say it was more than Gabriel could bear to focus on, so he kept talking. "Let's say my grace does come back to full power, and I don’t wind up half-dead on a flea-infested motel room floor swaddled in a dirty blanket. Let’s say I get back to normal, in terms of angel-ness. But in any case I’m still going to need you propping me up like a cheap Raggedy Ann knockoff, because I’ll get to thinking about him and I’ll run straight to you, whining for TLC.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “What’s the point? What’s the point in letting my grace fill up again if I’m still just going to need help all the time? And this drives it home. My grace is there, but me? I’m not there, Sam. I’m gone.”

Sam took his hand. “You’re not gone. I knew you before you got hurt. You’re not that different.”

“I don’t want to listen to make-believe BS.”

“Gabriel.” Sam tightened his grip. “You’re not anyone else just because you’ve changed.”

“Well, I don’t like that!” Gabriel was angry now. He tried to sit up but simply dropped back down, too weak to hold his head over the floor. “Whoever I was before all this happened, I never thought about it. There was a hazy cutoff between good and evil and I was happy to straddle the line. All I cared about was how to fix what wasn’t fair, and if that meant hurting the people who screwed with justice, I spent no time questioning whether to take them out. Then, in my downtime, I was happy to indulge myself: food tasted good, so I ate it; sex felt good, so I made it into a game. This was all so easy, Sam. I never wondered about something being fundamentally wrong with me. I never felt like just being in the same room with someone was a sin, because I make everything filthy.”

Sam stared at him, mouth agape.

“And don’t you dare try to compare this to your situation with Lucifer,” Gabriel barreled on. “This isn’t a you-mess; this is a me-mess. The kind of mess that would have Marie Kondo convulsing on the ground frothing at the mouth. I don’t know how to handle how much of a horror show I am. And how to deal with the knowledge that I can’t ever, ever be what I was. And then wondering if I was actually the same scum I am today, except then I was blind to it, and - and I don’t know if I want to be me again. I don’t know who I was; I just remember not being worried about it. I felt comfortable in my own company. The only thing in all of Dad's creation I found even remotely intimidating was pasta with ketchup on it, because what kind of freak does that, but Sam - I don’t want that me back. Because I don’t want to be any version of me."

For a few moments, Sam didn’t say anything. Then, at last: “I know you think that you were tortured because you deserved it. That it was meant to happen, because you were just bad. Inherently bad. And that Asmodeus could see that and did what had to be done.”

Gabriel looked up at him, and hated the kindness written into the crease of Sam’s brow. It turned his stomach to think that that was meant for him.

And yet, in spite of all that, Gabriel longed for this storm to stop: the fear, and the doubt, and the hatred. He wanted to be rid of the guilt he felt over having access to Sam’s affection.

Gabriel couldn’t imagine a world in which he wouldn’t be punished for letting that happen.

“But you weren’t,” Sam went on gently, “And he didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Gabriel whispered. “I thought I’d be happy. I just didn’t expect that I’d still be like … like this.”

Sam offered a small smile. “Well, can you at least stop worrying about being useful? Or thinking we’re gonna make you leave just because you’ve started to heal? You trust me, right?”

“I’ve run out of excuses not to.”

“Then take my word for it.”

“Mm.”

Sam peered more closely at him. “No, hey, don’t do that. You know you’ll make yourself sick if you try too hard to keep yourself together."

“I’m okay.”

“Gabriel, man, it’s just me. You’re allowed.”

“I - I know, I just … I’m …” Gabriel turned over, so that his cheek was pressed into the grainy carpeting.

“Gabriel, I can help you get in bed. You’ll be so much warmer. Just close your eyes if you’re still dizzy.”

The notion of warmth appealed enough that, after a moment’s hesitation, Gabriel replied, “Okay.”

Sam eased him upright, and Gabriel did as he’d suggested and shut his eyes. Getting into bed was quicker and easier than he’s anticipated, even if it did make him feel dizzier.

“You’re okay,” Sam said, sitting on the edge of the mattress and covering him with the blanket again. “I guess that healing really did a number on you, huh? I’m sorry you had to resort to it.”

“You were dying, Sam.”

“I know, but … I wish you’d had the opportunity to use it on something else.”

“I know, right? The other day there was this crazy stubborn pickle jar. Should’ve blown all my grace on that. Definitely worth the hangover.”

Sam searched his face. “Do you wanna talk?”

“We just did.”

“Yeah, but I feel like you didn’t tell me everything.”

“Oh come on. I always tell you everything.”

“Are you sure? I don’t know, you just seem … like you need something, I guess. I don’t know. Do you?”

Gabriel tensed. “What would I need, huh? You just gave me a hundred percent of my daily dose of coddling.”

“Gabriel,” said Sam, “Please.”

“Why? What do you want to know? What d’you think I’m gonna tell you?”

“Well, maybe nothing. It’s fine if you don’t want to, I just … I’d like you to be honest. It’s better for you than keeping it bottled up.”

Gabriel gave a harsh laugh. “As if I keep anything hidden from you anymore.”

“I know you do. I know there’s stuff you haven’t told me.”

Gabriel gave no response, because Sam was right: more than once, Gabriel had stipulated that there were memories he simply couldn’t share with anyone, not even Sam. There were some things he simply didn’t want Sam to see.

“All right,” said Sam, “All right. When you’re ready. Whatever makes you feel okay.”

“Ah yes, my pastime of choice: being okay.”

Sam was silent, and perhaps he was aware that silence was sometimes the trick.

Gabriel averted his eyes. “Don’t worry about me. I just need a little time to get back on my feet.”

“Mm. Okay.”

There was another hush between them, and Gabriel wondered if perhaps Sam already suspected what was on his mind.

“Sam.”

“Yeah?”

“Look, would you - I know you wouldn’t, but - I have to ask.”

Sam waited.

Gabriel steeled himself. “Would you ever take it? Would you dig into my grace if you really needed it right away, and I was being stubborn about it?”

“No.” Sam sounded too calm. Yes, he must have been prepared for the question.

“Because it hurts," Gabriel said.

“I know it does, Gabriel.”

“So if it’s there … I mean, you could take it.”

“We don’t want your grace. We want you to be okay. And taking your grace wouldn’t exactly help that along, would it? We care about you,not your grace.”

“I know, but …”

“Look, you don’t believe me. Not in the way I wish you would. I don’t think I can change your mind right now. But no, nobody’s gonna touch your grace. We won’t touch you at all if you don’t want us to.”

“You. You can.” Gabriel reached for him, and Sam held his hand again. Gabriel wondered if this ever embarrassed him.

Sam certainly didn’t seem perturbed. “How come you didn’t let me know what you were upset about?”

“Because part of me knows it’s a really dumb question. But I’m still … I don’t know … I can’t help it.”

“You should’ve asked me. Maybe if you hear me say it over and over again it’ll click.”

“Maybe.”

“Well, your grace is all yours. Do you know that now? It doesn’t belong to any of us. And none of us think it should.”

Gabriel stared up at him, fingers too limp for a proper grasp. He hoped Sam wouldn’t take that as an indication that it was time to let go. “I think about what would happen if it turned out you weren’t telling me the truth. I can’t get that out of my mind. Because it would be worse, way worse, than having Asmodeus barge in here and just snatch me up again. I know who he is. I know he’d do that.” Gabriel tried to keep his breathing steady. “But I don’t think you would. My guard is down. Around all of you, but especially around you. I think you really don’t want to do anything to me. Or I think that I think so. So when I get to dwelling on what it would do to me to find out I’m wrong, I just - I can’t - ” He coughed, trying to loosen his throat. “I don’t know if this sounds absurd to you, or if it’s making you angry, but to me it’s a real possibility. After everything he did? There were times he seemed like you, Sam. He wasn’t always throwing me into walls and raking his nails across my back. There were times I begged for him to help me, to hold me. Because I would’ve taken anyone. I just needed somebody to touch me.

“I know that sounds stupid. It was stupid. But I begged for it until my throat started bleeding and I puked up blood. And he’d come in and hug me and let me cry into his lap. The next thing I knew he was doing a whole world of gross to me, and I hated it; I felt exactly the way he wanted me to feel, but he was there, and I needed - I - ” Gabriel pressed his other hand on top of Sam’s. “I needed this. I took it wherever I could find it. And now and again I let myself pretend that maybe he wouldn’t hurt me again, that he’d let me lie there and fantasize that I had someone to do what you’re doing for me. But then he would stop. Of course he would. He always did.”

Sam’s mouth hung open. “You think I would do that?”

“No, I don’t, but I think about what it would be like if you did.”

“I’m not going to.”

“I know! But that doesn’t make me believe you! If I let myself really know, if I let myself say it’s impossible - that’s when I let it become possible.”

Bewildered, Sam shook his head. “You never told me about that. About letting him help.”

“Because it’s hard, Sam! I don’t want to think about it because how could I ever get so low as to need him to stroke my hair and tell me I’d be all right? And who was I to just keep letting him do it? When within five minutes of rubbing my back and giving me that little bit of comfort I’d screamed for, I was back on the floor and the only thing that shut me up was how much heavier than me he was? What if you did that, Sam? What if it was you?”

“Jesus - ” Sam went to pull away his hand.

Gabriel cried out and grabbed it again. “Wait, no! I’m sorry, Sam; I didn’t - “

“Ssh, it’s okay.” Sam tugged his hand out of Gabriel’s grasp and walked to the other side of the bed so that he could recline beside him. “I know you can’t sit up and I thought you might like this better.”

Or, Gabriel thought, It makes you sick to touch me.

“Look,” Sam said softly, “This doesn’t have to be a good thing. Not if you don’t think it is. I know you’re a little freaked out about it. But you can heal again. Or you’ll be able to soon. And I’m sure this side effect will wear off once you get more used to using your grace. But seriously, man - you should be a little proud of yourself. You did what you thought you might never be able to do again.”

“But it was an accident,” Gabriel whispered, desperately wanting Sam to understand that he didn’t deserve praise. “I was scared to the bone and it just sort of happened. I’m glad it did, but it wasn’t because I had the willpower to get things going.”

“You don’t need willpower. Not yet. Eventually you’ll get a better sense of how to handle it.”

“But Sam, if I don’t have control, then - don’t you realize what I could do to you? Or to Dean, or Cas, or Jack? Grace can be used to destroy too.”

“This time you were scared and wanted to help. It’s not as if you’d get mad at one of us and next thing we know we’ve gone up in flames.”

“Sure, maybe, but how does this work? What are the rules? Is it just - ”

“Stop.” Sam’s voice was gentle. “We’ll figure it out. But we can’t do it all today. I need you to take this for what it is: you’re getting closer to having your grace back. And nobody’s gonna try and take advantage of it. And holy crap, Gabe, get rid of that whole thing about me turning into Asmodeus. It’s not going to happen.”

Gabriel closed his eyes. “I know. But to me, you could be wrong. I don’t know Sam, I … I know it isn’t real to you. But it’s real to me and I have to be prepared for it.”

Sam shifted so that he could look down at Gabriel. “It can’t be real to you.”

“Well, if that were the case, then this would be a very different conversation.”

“I’m serious. I won’t let you believe that. It’s - it’s so powerful. I can tell. It’s killing you. If you don’t let yourself push that away, he’ll still be in your head. Easier said than done, I get it, but - you have got to let that go. I’m not him, Gabriel. I’m me.”

Gabriel averted his eyes. “That’s what makes it so terrifying.”

Sam sighed and lay back down. They were quiet for a few moments, and then Sam said, “Lucifer used to do it to me. Not that, not the same thing. But I mean - pretending. He wasn’t the one who came to me and helped - he’d wear disguises. People I wished could be there with me. People I loved. It was a little like what you’re telling me about, because it was really just Lucifer all along, but … there were times I genuinely thought I had Dean back with me. Or Dad. Whoever.

“Then I got out, and everything started to come back. You know how it is when Hell starts bleeding into what’s happening right now. So I’d see someone I thought was, you know, not him. And then they’d do something that he got so right - the way they smiled or talked or laughed. He knew everyone in my life so well. I’m not sure how he got into my head like that, but he did. And when I saw the real person doing that, I’d think no, he’s there; he’s waiting to show his face. His real face. It’s not as if that’s completely gone away, Gabriel. I know what it’s like to be afraid that you’re only seeing lies. That you have to be on your toes for a break in the fantasy. And I know this is different for you, since Asmodeus was the one who was there to help and for me, Lucifer turned into someone else. So I guess as far as you’re concerned, I’ll start breaking you apart and I’ll still be Sam. Right?”

Gabriel was too stunned to respond.

“And,” Sam continued, “I always have to ready for a change in someone else. Some sign that they’re not really the person I think I see.”

Gabriel simply stared at him.

“So I think I get it,” Sam finished.

Gabriel took another several moments to collect his thoughts before answering. “You ever think that about me?”

“He did wear your face a few times. Made you seem … demonic. I remember you had this twisted expression on your face; you looked like a nightmare version of yourself. I think he did that because I didn’t have any really dark memories of you. Well - some not-so-great memories of things that happened, I guess, but it’s not as if you yourself ever made me feel like I had to be afraid. So … I guess it comes to mind once in a while. But don’t worry about it; it doesn’t happen that much. I’m just saying I … I know it’s a weird feeling. And I know it’s hard to shake off. But you gotta, man. You can’t get better if you still feel like we’re going to hurt you.”

Gabriel clenched his jaw. “‘We’ doesn’t matter. It’s you I don’t want to lose.”

Sam opened his mouth to reply, but then there was a knock at the door.

“Guys?” called Castiel. “Is everything all right?”

Sam glanced at Gabriel, who said, “Let him in.”

Cas opened the door before either if them could do anything more and surveyed the scene. “Gabriel, you look - ”

“I know. What about you? Are you okay? I’m not the only one of us with busted grace.”

“I’m fine.”

“And Jack?” asked Sam.

Cas opened the door further and Jack stepped in, eyes trained on Gabriel. “There’s nothing wrong with me. But Uncle Gabriel - ”

“I’m sorry about that, fella. I didn’t mean to give you such a shock to your system.”

“It’s okay. I just … I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all. Made me feel kind of shaky. Like I’d fallen down the stairs or something.”

“But you’re okay now, right? You don’t look any less like a baby penguin, so I take it you don’t feel too beaten up.”

“Uncle Gabriel.” Jack moved closer. “You’re upset. About your grace. I don’t understand why.”

Gabriel’s head was still pounding. He needed to drink something. “I’m not upset. Like you were saying, it just threw me off course.”

“But you look upset.”

Gabriel ignored him. “Would you mind finding some water for me, Sam?”

“Oh - yeah, of course.”

“I’ll get it,” said Cas.

Gabriel waved a dismissive hand. “You need to chill for a second. I’d get it myself, but - ”

“It’s okay,” said Sam. “Let me grab some for you. Be right back.”

It was strangely difficult to watch him leave the room. After so much discussion about Sam changing his mind, and choosing to abandon or hurt or loathe him, Gabriel wanted him within immediate reach.

“Hey.” Jack spoke softly. “Do you want to talk?”

Gabriel glanced at Cas, who didn’t say anything.

“No,” Gabriel replied finally. “You don’t have to babysit me. They’ll be back any minute and Sam will do his usual good Samaritan act and I’ll have permission to crack open like an egg.”

“You always have permission to do that. Anyway, I was thinking …” Jack bent down to retrieve the laptop, which had fallen onto the floor. “Either you can go to sleep - "

“No thank you. Can't say I expect pretty dreams in this state.”

“ - or we can go back to what we were doing. I liked them. The Vines. It seemed like you were enjoying them too.”

Gabriel shook his head. Jack peered more closely at him, and worry flickered over his face. “Oh no. Uncle Gabriel - ”

“Jack - ” Gabriel clenched his hands into fists beneath the blanket. “I hope you know this isn’t me.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s him. Asmodeus. The douchebird who did this to me.”

“The douchebird who did what?”

“Who turned me into this … whatever it is I am now. Look, it’s important to me that you know I wasn’t always this much of a wuss. That it would’ve taken a lot more than a sentimental conversation with Sam to reduce me to this state. I just - it hurt, the stuff he did to me. For so long. He taught me that everything is a threat, and to be scared all the time.”

“And you’re still so scared.”

“I’m terrified, Jack. I’m terrified of everything.”

“What about me? You don’t have to be afraid of me. I’d never hurt you.”

“I know. I know that. It’s just - ”

“Uncle Gabriel, you’re as safe with me as you are with Sam.”

Gabriel gave a weak smile. “That’s anything but your responsibility. Please just trust that this isn’t me. It isn’t me at all.”

“Yes it is.”

Gabriel closed his eyes. “Don’t say that.”

“But it’s true. He hurt you. That doesn’t mean he took you away. And besides, I don’t care if you’re afraid. Well - I don’t want you to be; of course I want you to feel safe. But I like you. You’re family.”

“You’re not obligated to like family.”

“No, I don’t mean I like you because you’re family. I like you because you’re you. And I like that you happen to be family. I’m lucky: I like my family.”

“That makes one of us. Oh - except you. And you,” he added to Castiel. “The rest of them can suck a - ”

“You need to go easy on yourself,” Cas interrupted. “You would never treat any of us the way you treat yourself. It’s hard to watch.”

Gabriel squeezed a fistful of the blanket. “It’s not like that. Not that straightforward. Self-love and whatnot, that’s - that’s a sick joke to me. I’m a sick joke. Jack, look, I just need you to understand that this isn’t me. Or that it wasn’t always.”

Jack rested a hand on Gabriel’s head. “I’m sure I would’ve liked you then. But I like you fine right now.”

You shouldn’t, thought Gabriel, and then there was the recurrent guilt of forcing Jack into benevolence that simply wasn’t right, because he didn’t know what Gabriel was. Didn’t know that the thing he was speaking to, the thing he was touching, the thing he claimed to respect, would never be anything other than what Asmodeus had made it into.

When Sam returned, he was holding a fresh cup of water that he helped Gabriel drink by supporting his head.

“You got all sweaty,” Sam observed. “Wanna take a shower?”

“You expect me to stand on a slippery surface without busting my skull open on the wall?”

“Well, you could sit down. Or I could help you.”

“Oh yeah, sure, as soon as that ‘sexy nurse’ costume I ordered on Amazon comes in. Hope I got the size right.”

“Okay, fine; when you feel better.”

Gabriel shivered.

“Should’ve grabbed a blanket too, huh?”

“No. I’m okay. Just a little …”

Sam waited.

“Chilly, I guess. And … it’s hard to get that stuff out of my head.”

“What stuff? The stuff about your grace?”

Gabriel didn’t want to talk about it in front of the others. He knew that Cas and Jack would understand, would probably even try to offer reassurance; but it was something he felt he needed to keep between him and Sam.

“I hate to be a little bitch,” said Gabriel, addressing Jack and Castiel, “But could I have, like, five more minutes to bug Sam? Cas, I know you need to rest, but there’s - I mean - ”

“Of course,” Castiel said softly. “It’s no trouble. Come on, Jack. Let’s watch some Vines out in the hall.”

When they were gone, Sam sat on the bed. “Gabriel?”

“Sam.” Gabriel could picture himself, could see his features crumpling and the tears sliding down his face. There was no longer room for humiliation. He was allowed, Sam had said. So Gabriel allowed himself.

Sam’s eyes brightened with worry. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“What you said - ” Gabriel took tight, shuddering breaths. “You said no, you won’t take it, you won’t use me - ”

“And I meant it.”

“You said you care - ”

“And I do.”

“That you don’t mind if I - that I’m allowed to - this - ”

“And I don’t, and you are.”

“But you still don’t expect me to pay you back, and that’s wrong, Sam!”

“It’s not, but if it was, I wouldn’t give a crap. Just relax. You don’t owe me anything. I promise.”

“You want me to get better, and sometimes I don’t know if I can. So I can’t even give you that.”

“Well, you will get better. And if it takes a long time, it’s all right. I’m not fed up, okay? This whole thing has sucked for you. And as long as you’re here with us - which we all like, by the way - I wanna get you through it as best I can.” He offered a small smile. “Nobody’s forcing me.”

“Your conscience,” Gabriel retorted. “Your conscience is forcing you. You can’t help it. You see a wounded animal and you have to help. Even if you - ” He let out a strangled sob. “Even if you touch it and get diseased in the process.”

Sam started to say something in reply, but Gabriel reached out and seized him, grasping with more force than either of them would have thought possible. “I wish I cared more about how diseased you get. I wish I cared more about you than I do about me.”

Sam gazed down at Gabriel’s fingers clasped around his arm. “I get it. It’s okay. I’m glad it’s okay for me to touch you.”

“But the problem is I - ”

“You need it, I know. You want it.”

Sam had said that deliberately, Gabriel supposed. He knew how much Gabriel hated that word, how much he needed to get used to it again.

“There’s no reason you shouldn’t,” Sam went on. “You can ask for it.”

Gabriel was silent.

“Gabriel … you gotta stop being so violent with yourself. Come on, I’m here; you’re not contaminating me.” Sam tugged his arm from Gabriel’s grip and, for the second time, lay down beside him.

“You shouldn’t let me be like this,” Gabriel croaked. “You shouldn’t let me keep losing control.”

“Why not?”

“It makes more work for you and it keeps me from getting better.”

Sam shook his head. “You really think holding everything in would be more productive?”

“I … I don’t know. I think maybe.”

“Well, I don’t. And you trust me, right?”

“I think so.”

“You know I’m not Asmodeus?”

Gabriel didn’t reply.

“You know I’m not going to force your grace out of you?” Sam coaxed.

Gabriel felt tears trickle over the bridge of his nose, across his cheeks, and into his ears. Yes, he knew that Sam wasn’t Asmodeus.

And that was the problem. If someone was going to take advantage of Gabriel’s grace, it would be Sam. And imagining Sam in the role of Asmodeus, as Sam Winchester, was uniquely sickening.

“Gabriel?” said Sam.

Gabriel squeezed his eyes shut. “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”

“You mean - ”

“I mean this.” Gabriel pressed his face into Sam’s chest. Sam seemed to have been prepared for this: he wrapped his arms around Gabriel immediately, as if on cue or by reflex.

Neither of them spoke.

I needed this.

Gabriel shivered, trying to soak up some of Sam’s warmth.

It’s just me. You’re allowed.

“Sam,” Gabriel whimpered.

I know there's stuff you haven't told me.

“Yeah, Gabe, what is it?” Sam replied.

When you’re ready.

“Sam … there’s too much you don’t know. Too much I haven’t let you in on. I’m sorry.”

Sam squeezed him closer. “Don’t be sorry. When you’re ready, okay?”

Gabriel shut his eyes, remembering the way Asmodeus used to hold him like this, and yet knowing on an instinctual level that Sam felt different - especially when Gabriel began crying again and Sam only strengthened his grip.

This - with its warmth and firmness - was not the embrace of Asmodeus.

#supernatural #spn #fanfiction #post-asmodeus sabriel feels #pasf #sabriel #platonic sabriel #sam winchester #gabriel #castiel #jack kline #rhode island #hurt sam winchester #hurt gabriel #hurt castiel #jack kline feels #protective sam winchester #comforting sam winchester #caring sam winchester #protective jack kline #caring jack kline #comforting jack kline #asmodeus #post-season 13 #alternate universe #canon divergence #post traumatic stress disorder #ptsd #gabriel has ptsd #gabriel has post-traumatic stress disorder

[mcgrathsx-blog]

tell me how to feel about you ; mcjames

Characters: Katie McGrath & Bradley James ( @bradleyxjames ) Setting:   Bradley’s apartment, London Warnings: N/A Timeframe: Last week (i forgot shh) Description: After what it had seem a never ending battle between her heart and her mind, the Irish actress had decided that for once, she was going to forget about being rational and simply listen to her heart. Which led her to jump on a plane to surprise Bradley in London. 

Katie: The last couple of weeks had been a complete mayhem for the Irish actress, she was still trying to get over the fact that her wedding had happened, same as the annulment process and everything in between. Even if she had been wishing that everything had been just a nightmare. She knew that it would take time for her to heal completely, but she was also aware that sometimes good things fell apart so that better things could fall together. Maybe that’s why without really thinking about it, Katie had packed a bag and taken a flight to London. She had to go and pick up her son from Theo’s mother’s house but not until three days from now, so she decided to surprise a certain someone by paying him a visit. It was one of those times where her mind seemed to have lost a battle against her heart. For the first time in what it felt like forever, she wasn’t thinking, and instead she decided to follow her heart. Being back in London brought so many memories, some good and some bad, but still she was insanely happy to be back in the place where she called home for so many years. Katie pushed the doorbell once... twice... three times, yes, she was impatient. “What the hell am I doing?” Katie muttered under her breath, while she rocked on her heels back and forth, waiting for Bradley to answer the door.

Bradley: since going home from Greece, bradley had been on the go with filming and being with his mum as much as he could. she had decided that she wanted to paint his apartment. why? he wasn't sure but he also wasn't going to tell her no because it was something they could do together. which was why when he heard the doorbell over the music pumping out of a speaker that he had sitting on the floor, he set down the paint roller and grabbed the rag out of his back pocket so that he could wipe the paint off his hands. his living room was a mess but it was starting to come together. the color on the wall - one that he had chosen himself - was a soft green called Winter Shamrock and for the life of him he wasn't sure why he had chosen it. until the opened the door, looking into the emerald eyes of the woman standing on the other side of it. ahh, he thought to himself, there is the reason it was chosen. "aren't you a long way from home?" he questioned, blonde brows risen over sparkling blue eyes. "not that i'm complaining. that just means we can put you to work," with a smirk he stepped back and held the door open for her.

Katie: as soon as Bradley opened the door, it was as if all of Katie's doubts had suddenly vanished. And without thinking twice, an ear to ear smile appeared on her face and before she knew it she was jumping on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist. Immediately crashing her lips against his. God, how much she had missed those lips. Her heart felt like it would rip its way out of her chest, any moment now. "Hi" she simply said in a softest tone of voice. She stole one more kiss from his lips, a gentle and slow one, before her legs went back to the floor. "Wait - what?" She asked with a chuckle. "What am I working on?" But before she gave him the chance to respond to her query, she looked around and noticed what was happening. "Ohh... " She said in wonder. "You're painting your place by yourself? Impressive." She admitted with a nodding of her head.

Bradley: feeling the woman wrap herself around him, he couldn't help but to grin into the kisses she was giving him, his arms snaking around her waist so that way he could hold her up for as long as she was in his arms. "mm, hello to you, too" he said against her lips before she had gone back to her feet, a laugh coming from his lips. "not alone, no." as he was about to tell her his mum was there, she came into the room and stopped in her tracks as she began to speak. "oh, we have company!' she exclaimed while going over to Katie and smiling at her. "hello, dear." this was going to be weird, he could already tell, but what could he do? "actually the painting was all her idea," he pointed his index finger at his mum with a goofy grin on his face. "and when she says she thinks something should be done.." he trailed off when the older woman rolled her eyes at him. "i was just about to make tea, would you like some?" she asked Katie, ignoring her son and waving her hand for them to follow her back into the kitchen. since they were finishing up the living room, the kitchen was safe to be in. the tins of cookies stacked up on the counter that she made him, opened revealing different cookies in them. "i'm sorry about this," he whispered to Katie as he took her head and led her towards the kitchen.

Katie: before Katie could ask him who else was around, she was suddenly surprised when she heard his mother's voice. "Stephanie, oh my god, hello, it's been so long." The Irish actress said as she approached the older woman to give her a hug. She knew that her face was probably in an embarrassing shade of red. She had literally barged in her son's apartment, and had been all over him. "I'm not surprised, you wouldn't have come up with it on your own, and you can't fight me on this." Katie said with a soft chuckle as she turned to look at Bradley for just a couple of seconds. "Tea sounds lovely, thank you." Katie nodded politely, before slapping his torso, "A little warning would've been nice, don't you think? This is so embarrassing." Katie whispered, but still smiled, pulling her hand back, not wanting to make things worse. She knew how close Bradley's relationship was with mother. And she hadn't spoken to the other woman ever since their break-up, who knows what she thought of Katie now.

Bradley: "i tried but then you all but jumped me," his lips twitched into a smirk as he rolled his eyes at her. "it shouldn't be. i'm a big boy and she knows i kiss girls all the time." now he was just being annoying and he knew it, not that he cared. Katie should be used to him by now. "what are you doing here? i didn't know you were coming across the pond once you were back in the states." not that he was complaining, he was excited for her to be here and that was evident in the grins that didn't seem to want to leave his lips. "i've missed you," he spoke honestly as he took her hand again and laced their fingers together so that she couldn't tug it away again. "my sisters are supposed to show up eventually too, so if they do you might just have to deal with them all." now he let out a laugh, shaking his head. he was surrounded by women and he didn't mind it one bit, especially since they were all beautiful and smart.

Katie: couldn't help to roll her eyes at his first words, "I actually came here to pick up Kian, he is with Theo's mother-- well I'm supposed to pick him up three days from now, so I thought I would take a detour and surprise you." The actress said with a nonchalant shrugging of her shoulders. Her eyes went immediately to their hands, fingers laced together. A soft breath escaped from her lips, and she looked up to look into his baby blues. "I missed you too... kind of." She teased and leaned to steal a quick kiss before they entered the kitchen. "Oh boy, no pressure.. at all." Katie exhaled. Okay, this was nerve wracking. The girl had absolutely no clue of what his family thought about her, but she had this, she could deal it with it -- right? "Should I come back later? I don't want to interrupt if you were going to have a family gathering." She stated, nibbling on her lower lip.

Bradley: "ahh, the little guy. do i get to meet him finally?" he questioned, not wanting her to think it had to be done, but actually a little excited to finally see the boy other than pictures. "kind of my butt," he said with another laugh as he rounded to corner and looked at his mum, who was turning to set down a tray on the counter. her eyes went down to their linked fingers and she smiled. "so Katie, how have you been? i am going to say this only once, you are amazing on Supergirl. team Lena for life." his mum was a crazy lady, most people knew that and loved her for it, so her saying what she just had made him bite into his lip so that he wouldn't laugh again. "no, you have to stay. they are just coming to make sure i'm doing things right." rolling his eyes - again - he shook his head at her question. "plus one of them is supposed to be bringing food since i haven't stocked my fridge in a while. haven't been home so didn't need to have anything in it."

Katie: raised her eyebrows in surprise, a warm smile quickly followed. "Of course, if you want to meet him I could bring him over before we head back to Vancouver? He loves football, so I'm sure he's going to like you." She admitted with a firm nodding of her head. Sandra's comment made Katie's smile widen, "You've seen the show?! I'm so delighted to hear that." Katie said with a soft chuckle. "Thank you for that, being able to play such a strong character is such a blessing." She went over to the kitchen island and sat on one of the stools, without letting go of Bradley's hand. "How about you? How's everything? This guy isn't giving you too much trouble?" She eyed the blonde for a moment. "You'd be lost without your family, you realize that, right?" She smirked before extending her free hand to take one of the cups, taking a small sip of tea. It felt like home. "This is so good, you can't get a proper cup of tea in either Vancouver or the Sates."

Bradley: "then please do bring him 'round. we'll play some footy and he can show me how much i've grown to suck at it." a teasing light lit up his eyes as he listened to the two women talk, taking up a cookie from one of the tins and nibbling on it. "i have! it's such a fascinating show. all those young people saving the world and aliens. who doesn't love it?" nodding her head along to Katie speaking about playing strong characters, his mum reached over to lay her head against Katie's arm. "a strong woman playing another strong woman, it's how the world should be." tilting his head, he couldn't agree more, even though he regretted those words not coming from him. his mother could teach him a lot about making a woman weak, he noticed. "i do know it, love. they are my backbone and my corner stone, without them i'd basically be nothing." which was why he let them bug him, harass him and tell him what to do. they knew better, after all, women always did. "that's right. tea is best at home." he fully agreed, even if he had just bought a home in LA not too long ago. "i was telling mum the other day how she needs to come spend time with me in LA since i bought a house there. she's telling me that it isn't for her and it's breaking my wee heart."

Katie: "Oh absolutely, and the aliens are the best part... even when some of them are murderous aliens, but it's okay. The good guys win most of the time." The Irish said, followed by a chuckle. With each passing second she was feeling more and more relaxed, she honestly felt like she was back home. And that was a feeling like no other. Sandra's words warmed her heart, making it seem like she had been worrying for absolutely no reason, but hey what else was new? "You're going to make me cry." Katie said with a laugh, while she rested her cheek against the older woman's head for a few, she meant it though. Everyone who knew Katie, also knew that she was a big crier and it didn't take much for her to shed a few tears. Hearing Bradley talk about his family brought a big smile to her face, his devotion towards them was one of the things that had made her fall for him, she was glad that it hadn't changed. "Oh no, why LA?" Katie wrinkled her nose. "Sandra, if you ever come to America, ring me a bell and I'll take you to New York with me. The streets are always crowded, the city never sleeps, there's food in every corner, it's absolutely loud.. dirty even, but you'll love it. It's not that different from London." She said with a chuckle. Her closest friends also knew that Katie despised the sun, and LA was far too sunny for her, that's why New York had become her home away from home.

Bradley: aliens? the young blonde had no idea what they were talking about - or so he'd tell Katie, though he actually did follow her show - so he continued to eat his cookie and listen. "that sounds a little stupid," he said as he waited to either be ignored or slapped silly. this time he knew he'd be getting it from two directions and he wasn't even sorry for being a jerk. "hey, how about you stop trying to get her to go visit you when she won't even come visit her own son. it's not fair." though knowing his mum, she'd do her best to get him to go along with her, which he wouldn't mind. not one bit. "that sounds like fun, dear. i hear that they have such pretty things in New York. especially the broadway shows." a far away look came over her face and bradley raised an eyebrow, never quite understanding where his mother went when it happened. not sure if he wanted to know either. "then i shall take you one of these days," he said, trying to recapture her attention and take her away from where she had gone to. "the sisters could come too. we'll make a weekend out of it and if Katie's around, maybe she can join us as well. her and her son."

Katie: "Shut up." Katie muttered, pulling her hand back so she could slap his forearm playfully before she went back to lacing their fingers together. "LA is so overrated, that's why. If she's coming to America, she should see the best places." She stated with a grin and a nodding of her head. "Oh that would be so lovely!" The actress turned to look at the other woman now, giving her, her full attention. "Finding Neverland will play again the month, I've been meaning to take Kian to see a show, hopefully I can manage to get him to love musicals as well, I haven't had much luck in that department." The girl explained, her eyes going from back and forth from Bradley to Sandra, noticing how he had raised one of his brows and she was wondering if she had missed something. "While your sisters come over, I'd love to help with the painting... but I might need to borrow an old shirt from you, and fair warning I've never done this before but hey, it can't be that hard right?"

Bradley: "why did no one tell me that before i bought a house there?" he grumbled as he took the slap and laughed, shaking his head at her. "maybe i'll gift it to one of my sisters and buy something in New York instead." the thought was a serious one but he didn't want to scare her, so he teased her. "that way i can be close enough to you, to bother you and wake you up at all hours of the day and night for no reasons at all." his blue eyes danced with amusement as he nodded her head, tugging her hands so that she'd get up from the stool she was sitting on. "Finding Neverland is one of my favorites, if i'm to be honest with you. i saw a video of it on Youtube and fell head over heels for it. not that i'd admit that to anyone outside of you two. i have a reputation to protect." walking towards the living room again, he paused to smile at his mom. "i'll get Katie a shirt and then we'll get back to the painting. since it's my home, i don't mind doing it myself but Katie covered in paint will be an interesting sight." winking at his mom, he turned the corner and pulled Katie with him, flattening her against the wall once they were out of sight. "i have to do this," he stated quietly before taking her lips with his.

Katie: turned to him the moment he mentioned buying something in New York instead, which made the actress raise both of her eyebrows in surprise. Sure, he had deflected by adding the little teasing notes, but still she couldn't deny the fact that having Bradley so close to her would bring her a great amount of joy. "You'll definitely get along with Kian then, he also wakes me up at all of hours of the day and night for not reason at all." She commented with a soft chuckle. "If you do end up doing it, you'll come to the conclusion that there's no battle between LA and NYC, New York wins by far." She nodded firmly. "Then we have to take you to see it, it's also one of my favorites. I wanted to be one of the lost boys back when I was younger... and I'll even admit that at this age i also wouldn't mind to be one, in the slightest." In cue, she stood up as well and her eyes shifted to the other woman in the room. "We'll be right back, and despite what Bradley thinks I won't mess up." She assured with a soft chuckle. Now that they had rounded the corner, Katie was surprised by his lips, which she welcomed with delight. Having Bradley press her against the wall, brought back so many memories from when they would sneak around on set, stealing kisses between scenes in every opportunity they had. "I missed you" Katie muttered against his lips, bringing her hands to his lips so she could grab handfuls of hair, pulling him to her as much as she could.

Bradley: hearing her talk about New York like she did, he could understand how it might be a nice place to live, especially if what she had told his mother earlier were true. so many different things to see, to do, and anyone who knew him knows that food was his one true love. or at least one of them. so the idea to move there began to take on even more roots, ones that he couldn't seem to dislodge no matter how many times he told himself it was a bad idea. "i've missed you too, love." he whispered against her lips, his hands going down to her hips where he dragged her against him. having her body against his brought back so many memories, memories that he had closed off for so long. they were good ones, some that turned his heart inside out because it made him want her all over again. not that he had ever stopped, not in a million years. "if my mother wasn't here right now.." he stated, a smirk coming onto his lips as he looked into her eyes before kissing her lips again. "you'd be completely naked in my bed right about now," if only he thought with a sigh before pulling away and moving back so that she could move away from the wall if she chose. "now about that shirt."

Katie: had to close her eyes upon hearing his words, immediately feeling goosebumps in her skin and a wave of electricity run down her spine. The pull he had on her was undeniable, she was completely drawn to him. Always had been, since day one. A connection and attraction that went beyond the physical aspect. Katie leaned forward, tiptoeing so she could press her lips against his ear. "As if you were that lucky." She said, slowly, her voice filled with want. She tugged on his earlobe with her teeth, proceeding to ran her tongue against it, soothing the skin where she had just bitten before pulling away from him without taking a final glance. "Room's this way, right?" She inquired, but didn't wait for an answer before she continued her quest down the hallway, until she found the master bedroom.

Bradley: "i am a very, very lucky man indeed." he spoke up as he followed her to the bedroom, leaning a hip against the door frame and keeping a distance from her so that he wouldn't do something that might get them in trouble. "you're such a tease, Katherine. if my mum wasn't here, you would be tearing my clothes off just as quickly ad i'd do to your's. there's always been chemistry between us, that's something you can't deny." just like the vibes in the air surrounding them now. it wasn't anything new, in the past a lot of people had told him more than once that they could cut through it with a knife that it was so palpable. bradley walked over to his closet and pulled the door open, stepping inside to start going through the shirts inside. he had quite a few that were older, tattered and well used. pulling one off the shelf, he turned around and held it out to her. "how about this one?"

Katie: "I seriously have no idea what you're talking about." She said nonchalantly as she walked to the edge of his enormous bed, sitting down as she ran a hand through her raven colored locks. Her green eyes were locked with his baby blues. She definitely knew what he was talking about. The electricity and tension was so thick in the air, that her breathing was becoming a little heavier by the second. Emerald eyes following his every move, like a predator looking intently at its prey. The metaphor suiting her perfectly, if she had her way, she would be devouring him. "That one looks perfect." She commented with a satisfied nod while standing up from the bed, she grabbed the piece of clothing and put it on top of the matress, turning to him again. This time she held her arms over her head, "Can you help me with my shirt?" The girl questioned, with a small playful smile.

Bradley: could hardly breathe when asked if he could help her with her shirt, something that he could remember doing more than once. Katie was a seductress of the highest power and she knew it, even if she didn't want to admit it. "you don't have to ask me twice," he murmured while walking over to her and grasping the hem of her shirt, tugging hit upwards slowly, so that his eyes could watch the revealing over eye inch of her creamy white smooth skin. a groan was making it's way up his chest, close to coming out of his throat when he finally pulled it over her head and tossed it onto his bed. a bed that was not made but soft as feathers if he were to only move her towards it, lay her down on it and climb on top of her. the thought was maddening but he knew better. it wasn't the right time. "there. no more shirt," he said as he turned away from her and smiled to himself.

Katie: was glad she had decided to wear one of her nicest laced bras, even when Bradley had turned away from her she knew that he would've at least caught a glimpse of her while removing her shirt. Okay, she had to admit that she loved doing that. Getting under his skin, teasing him in the process. His reactions would never disappoint. He surely knew how to make her feel wanted and beautiful. "Thank you, so skilled aren't you?" She said with a soft chuckle, grabbing his shirt from the bed and putting it on. The shirt was several sizes too big for her, so she tied a knot on the hem, that was hanging on one side of her hips. "I'm decent, you can turn around now. Don't worry, I'm not going to seduce you and steal your virtue." The girl claimed, with another chuckle, one that was followed by a playful rolling of her eyes.

Bradley: couldn't help but laugh as he turned back to look at her, a little disappointed that she really was in the shirt and that she hadn't just told him that so that he'd see her in her bra. "i don't have any virtue left, i'm afraid. you stole that from me a long time ago." a grin was on his face as he stepped towards her once more, framing her face in his hands so that he could lean down and press a gentle kiss to her plump lips. would he ever get tired of kissing her? doubtful. every time he did there was a fire that ignited deep in his bones, it had been that way since the first time. and if it hadn't stopped by now? bradley assumed it never would.

Katie: “Oh please” Katie immediately rolled her eyes at how absurd it sounded, since it was the other way around, without a doubt. “You are the one who stole /my/ virtue.” The girl accused with a laugh, making a special emphasis on herself. “I was this geeky girl who talked about nothing more than books, Star Wars and comic books, and then this breathtakingly gorgeous muscular hunk came along, decided that for some odd reason he liked me, and then he stole my innocence, can you believe that?” As she spoke, the actress wrapped her arms around his neck, her right hand going straight to his golden locks. She welcomed his kiss, and responded to it for a few seconds, focusing her attention on his lower lip before letting go. “Do you remember the first time we kissed? We were filming episode 10 of season one, the one where Merlin’s village was being threatened by a warlord. It was the night before we had to film the big sword scene, it was almost midnight… I think, and you were nice enough to offer to practice with me. And like a scene taken out from a very very cheesy movie, I tripped, you caught me by the elbow and I fell on top of you. The next thing I knew was that somehow, we were kissing.” Katie shook her head, laughing at the fond memory. “You’re my guy.” She proceeded to say, while resting her forehead against his. “You are the one I want. You’re the one I’ve always wanted.”

Bradley: raised an eyebrow at how absurd she sounded just then. Katie was geeky? his lips pursed as he thought about what she was saying and let out a laugh, nodding along to it. "you're completely right. i take full responsibility for taking your virtue and everything else that came along with it. for some reason i'm extremely attracted to the geeky and nerdy type, which you hold the record for." once more listening to her speak, a warm feeling wormed its way into his chest and made a nest there, one that he didn't plan to upset or turn over any time soon. "i do remember that. you were shocked when i settled my lips over yours and i thought to myself 'she's going to sock you if you keep handling her' but you didn't. you reciprocated. to this day i still don't know how i had gotten so lucky for you to get to know me, to let me know you, to let me fall in love with you. which wasn't a hardship at all, might i add." a grin was on his face when he butted her forehead gently, in a teasing manner. "i'm your guy, hm?" the words were making him a little giddy, not that he'd say that to her or even let her know it in any way. "you've been what i've wanted since i messed up all those years ago by watching you walk away. it wasn't about me not wanting you, it was about me not knowing if i could give you what you needed." this was the first time he had put into words why he had broken up with her. or not really broken up with her, but let her break it off with him. "i was young and stupid. heck, i'm still stupid but i'm not as young anymore and i want you even now. i'll want you forever." there. he had said what he had been thinking, feeling, for all this time.

Katie: "I'm not even going to deny that, because I'm seriously the nerdy and geeky type." She said with a chuckle and a nodding of her head. She was obsessed with Star Wars, comic books, was an absolute bookworm. To that day she still didn't know how on earth this gorgeous man had shown interest in her. But she wasn't going to question it, not anymore at least. Nodding at his words, she pursed her lips trying not to smile but it was sort of an impossible task everytime he was around. "I was shocked, I always thought you were into tall, skinny, blondes. Or just gorgeous bombshells with no brains -- I always thought you were going to go for someone like Angel... NOT that I'm saying she has no brain, because I adore that woman but yes, at the time I thought she was more your like your type.. but hey, i wasn't complaining back then and I'm not complaining now." Katie admitted with a small smirk, while leaning in to press her lips against the corner of his mouth. "You were stupid, probably still are. But things happen when they are meant to happen, I didn't understand that back then, but I do now... so let's forget about that and focus on what we have right now, yeah?" Her thumb stroke his lower lip while her emerald eyes were locked on his baby blues. "And good, because I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." She said with a lopsided smirk.

Bradley: "Angel?" he questioned, a small smile on his lips as he took her hand and went back to bed, sitting down and pulling her into his lap. "there have been so many rumors that we were together back then just for the fans to have their fantasies but she was never the girl i liked. not in the way that i liked you. you were brainy, you were hilarious and when you tripped onto me i fell right along with you. in every sense of the word. but now that you mention tall, skinny, blondes.." he trailed off with a flick of her hair, taking a strand of it between his fingers and twirling it. "good because if you did walk away i'd follow you this time. to the ends of the Earth, McGrath. you're stuck with me and my stupidity. even though i can admit that i don't want to be stupid anymore when it comes to you. to whatever goes on with us." which he wasn't going to ask questions about, not now. maybe some time in the future but for now he was happy with where they were seeming to go. "now tell me you missed me again," he poked the end of her nose and grinned at her, not being able to help himself.

Katie: "I was aware of those rumors, and when we started.. our thing, it was pretty hilarious, not going to lie. I was like 'boy, if they only knew'" Katie said, with a small smile. "You're such a sweet talker, did you know that? No wonder why you have so many girls trying to get your attention. Too bad for them, you're mine." She stated, looking at him with that signature smirk of hers before she leaned forward to press a hard and quick kiss on his lips before pulling back, laughing at his little act. "Babe, I don't think you'd fall in the skinny category." She patted his stomach, but of course she was wrong. There was nothing but muscle there, still she couldn't help to tease him a little. It's who they were. "There's no one else I'd rather be stuck with." She said, honestly. Lifting her hand to his cheek, stroking his cheekbone with her tumb. "To whatever goes on with us." She repeated with a chuckle, shaking her head from side to side at his next request. "Nope." She grinned in return. "We can't keep your mum waiting, so-- let's get going."

Bradley: "our thing?" he used his fingers to make quotation marks as he asked the question. it had been more than just 'a thing' to him but maybe not to her. there was no way he was even going to try to contemplate what went on in Katie's mind. it was a steel trap most of the time, one that he couldn't get into at times. "i am not. and there is no one trying to get my attention. they have better guys and girls out there for them. i'm completely smitten with someone already and they all but know they don't have a chance." leaning forward, he bit into her lip and tugged on it roughly, to show her just what he thought of her teasing. "hey, it's not my fault that my mum cooks such good food and i enjoy every little bite of it." his broad shoulders rose and fell in a careless shrug. he didn't worry much about his weight so it didn't bother him if he had a stomach now and then. "she can wait just a bit longer," he spoke up as he took her hand and placed her thumb between his lips now, biting down into the sensitive flesh at the tip of it. "plus even though we were just together in Greece i want as much time as i can get with you before you spirit off again and i'm left wondering if you were even here to begin with."

Katie: "Yeah, don't give me that look.. I meant before we made it public and official. At first it was mostly us sneaking around to have sex, at first I don't think neither of us knew what it meant. All I know is that I was on cloud nine, and I didn't care what the gossip pages would say." Katie said with a small shrug, that was followed by a smile. "There's no one better than you." The Irish actress said with determination. "You're smitten with someone? .. that someone is insanely luck--" couldn't even finish her sentence when she felt how Bradley roughly bit on her lip, making her moan in the process. "Don't start something that you won't finish." Katie said through narrowed eyes, following every movement he was making, a shadow of smile visible on her features. "Don't blame Sandra, you're always hungry for some reason." the moment he introduced her thumb in his mouth, she couldn't help to close her eyes, enjoying the sensation of his lips, teeth and tongue against her flesh. "And you say I'm the tease." her eyes slowly opened, loving what she was seeing. the way he was looking at her had the power of making her weak on the knees. "come with me then." she began. "if you don't have to film, for a few days at least? i'm not ready to say good bye to you just yet."

Bradley: he had known what she meant but it was fun to hear her say exactly what she meant, what she had been thinking at the time and what she had wanted back then. knowing that it was him made it even better. "i've never cared what the gossip rags say nor will i ever. well, depending on what's being said. if they go too overboard then i might care a little. especially if it hurts someone i care about." with a huff of a laugh, he lifted her up and settled her down on the bed and walked to the door, shaking his head as he did. she was right, he wasn't going to keep tempting them both when his mother was in the other room and could walk in on them if he had kept going. "as i already stated, my love, i will follow you anywhere." and he would, that wasn't something he was saying lightly. turning back to her, he held out his hand and smiled with a wicked look in his eyes. "now come, lets finish painting before my mum finds other things for us to do. like washing dishes or even my clothes."

Katie: followed him with his eyes, he was definitely quite the view and anyone who knew him would agree with her. "I'm serious!" Katie stood up from the bed, crossing her arms over her chest, giving him a look indicating that she needed him to know that she had actually meant what she was asking from him. "I know you said that earlier, but that's a vague answer." She countered. "I need you to say yes or no to going back with me. I finish filming at the end of this month, maybe after that we could go to NYC, or come back here? Whatever your schedule allows you to do." She knew that maybe she was asking for too much. She didn't know where they stood, but she wanted to find out. For some reason the idea of being away from him now seemed completely unfathomable, and she didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. But right now? She didn't care. She just wanted to be wherever he was. "God, you seriously need to grow up." Katie smirked, shaking her head from side to side before grabbing his hand, leading him out of the room.

Bradley: pursed his lips as he turned to look back at her, amused by the folding of her arms and how she looked absolutely annoyed with him. it gave him a thrill and he let out a sigh, nodding his head. "you know i will go with you. why are you acting like you don't already know the answer. lets go to NYC that way i can look a houses there. i was serious about maybe buying something there. if i do my mum might actually leave London now and then to see other places." a laugh left his lips as he was pulled from the room, lacing their fingers again as he moved to her side, walking beside her instead of behind her. "probably but i wouldn't be as much fun if i was a stuffed shirt, now would i?" he squeezed her fingers before letting them go and moving towards one of the cans of paint, using a knife to pry the top of it and grabbing the roller that he had laid down in the paint tray earlier. "do you like the color i'm using?" he wanted to know her opinion even though two full walls were already painted.

#tell me how to feel about you #p: james

[imagine-lcorp]

Mustang Ride (Part III)

A/N: Hello beautiful people, here’s an update on this series. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think! Now, there’s not much to say but i wanna wish you all HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! Kudos to you all and I hope life is treating you well :) love u <3

Lena Luthor x Shapeshifter Reader//Word Count: 1,883

Series: Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V

"You roar in your sleep." Lena said teasingly and with a kiss on your cheek that morning.

"No." You looked up from the paper you had been reading, startled by her comment. "I don't." You were sitting in the kitchen counter, sipping coffee and reading reports from the DEO.

"Yes, you do." She chuckled.

You grunted and placed a hand on your face, trying to cover your embarrassment. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry." You mumbled and Lena just laughed.

"No, it's fine. I just never heard you do that before." She took a seat near of you and smirked. "You must have been really tired after last night."

"Yeah, must be so." You said with a smile and returned to your papers in an attempt to hide the faint redness in your cheeks.

"Do you really need to get back to the DEO today? Eliza said seven weeks." She said pleading.

Since the incident with Henshaw on Alex's birthday, you had been absent from the DEO. Eliza had recommended seven weeks of rest without knowing your ribs could heal in two. It was one of the perks of having your powers. You even thought of taking those seven weeks but, after seeing the paperwork J'onn had sent you home, you decided you preferred going back as soon as you could. He, however, gave you another three days to be sure you were completely recovered.

Lena had convinced you of spending those days with her at her penthouse. She wanted to keep an eye on you and make sure you were following the doctor's recommendations. Needless to say, you did more than what the doctor had said. The days with her flew by, between her and your own work, movie nights and quiet mornings. With enough luck, you thought, this could be a glimpse of your future together.

"Yeah, I do." You raised your head at her with an apologetic look. "But I can go with you to CatCo before leaving to the DEO, if you want."

"Mmm, a ride to work? I'd better finish getting ready then." She rose from the chair and gave you a kiss before going back to her room. You shook your head and smiled, returning to your papers.

An hour later, you were at Noonan's ordering your coffee and heading to CatCo. She was excited for the next printed issue of the magazine, it was her first one after all, and she wanted to make sure everything was ready. You took the elevator to the top floor and let Lena ramble about it a bit more. It made you happy to see her like this.

The elevator doors opened a few minutes later to show you the whole floor in movement. People were here and there, talking and typing furiously on their computers, checking and revising papers, phones ringing nonstop. You found James, in the middle of it all, talking with Eve and checking some layouts. You both walked towards him once he finished his conversation with Eve.

"Hi, nice to see you two." He greeted you with a big smile. "How are you feeling, (Y/N)?"

"As good as new." You returned the smile.

"Better than that, I would say." Lena said with a smirk, making you blush a little. James was surprised for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Well, I'm happy you're ready to go back, Winn has been missing you out there." He patted you on the shoulder with a smile. "Also, good thing you're here. I have some layouts you may want to see, Lena."

"Of course." She said and turned to you. "Can you stay a few minutes more?"

"Sure, boss." You nodded once and followed them.

You heard them chat on the short way to James’s office, realizing it was the first time you had ever entered that room. The office was very James, with framed photographs on his desk, a set of weights near the couches, and the smell of his cologne. However, you were impressed by the set of televisions behind the desk, flashing with all the news. You imagined Kara and James found them useful when it came to spotting criminal activity, like the one appearing in each screen at that moment.

"Hey, what's going on?" You frowned and pointed a finger at the screens.

Lena and James where near the desk looking the layouts he had brought but they raised their heads to them. The cameras showed the front doors of the West National City Bank, police officers were outside and waiting for instructions. James took the control from his desk and turner the volume up.

"...what we know so far. Three men entered the bank, screaming and demanding money. Witnesses say the men were unarmed but were able to take control..." The reporter informed with serious voice. "...one witness also reports seeing wild animals inside the..."

"Wild animals? That's new." James crossed her arms as he kept watching the report.

The cameras shook suddenly as the bank doors went flying into the street. Reporters were moving towards the entrance to get a better take in the action.  Police officers were drawing their guns and advancing towards the cloud of dust coming from the bank.

"What the..." You trailed off in shock as a rhino came storming through the dust and growled at the officers.

The cameras kept focusing on the great animal until two men stepped out, carrying big bags. There wasn't much the police could do to stop their advance as the rhino seemed to be protecting them. A young officer tried to approach the men from the side but one of them noticed and, before he could take a step further, the man turned into a big polar bear. Everything after that was chaos.

"I need to get there." You said resolute. If this was a case of shapeshifters, your own abilities could come in handy.

"(Y/N)." Lena took you by the wrist before you left and placed a quick kiss on your cheek. "Be careful."

"Will be." You assured her and then nodded to James before running to the balcony. You jumped off, turning into a falcon, and headed to the bank.

It took you less than two minutes to arrive and you were relieved to find Kara, in full supersuit, already at the scene. You flew over the street, to see cars and police officers surrounding the suspects at a safe distance. They were ordered to hold their fire and let Supergirl handle the situation. The rhino and the polar bear guys were pacing back and forth, protecting the other one, who was holding the bags.

"Let us go and no one has to get hurt!" The man shouted.

"You're right." Responded Supergirl in her power pose. "Surrender and I won't have to hurt you."

"I guess we will take our chances." The other replied with a cheeky grin appearing on his face. "Boys, go wild!" Then, like a mini stampede, between roars and growls the animals charged against Supergirl.

With a rush of wind you dived directly against the rhino's side. Kara looked at you for a second before fighting the polar bear, she was happy to see you recovered and just in time for some action. She was trying to subdue the bear without harming him, finding herself in a little predicament as she dodged and blocked his claws. He may have been a dangerous criminal but Kara was against any type of animal cruelty.

You, on the contrary, didn't have a problem with transforming yourself, after landing, into a tiger to dig your claws into the rhino's thick skin. He groaned and tripped when he felt your claws grabbing one of his legs, allowing you to stop his race. When he ended on the floor, struggling to get back on his feet, you transformed into a gorilla and put him on a headlock. You were sure that would make him become human again until a deadly grip on your arms forced you to free him.

There was big snake wrapped around your arms and shoulders, its head getting awfully close to your face. It was a python and it was opening its jaw, showing you the fangs. You couldn't but transform again to escape its bite. You jumped out of the python's hold and hopped around like crazy to distract the python, and the rhino that was now on his feet and growling at you. Being a hare turned useful when they tried to attack you, they couldn't keep up with your quick reflexes.

They were getting tired and desperate with this chase. The snake almost tangled up itself and the rhino was becoming slow and sloppy. This would open a chance to take them down easily with Supergirl's help. When making a sharp turn, you saw her finally hit the polar bear, sending him back towards the bank doors. She must have knocked him out because he felt with a loud thud and stayed on the floor, where he turned human. The face Supergirl made after that was all Kara, raised eyebrows, mouth open, horrified and apologetic.

She recovered in a flash, the expression gone to be replaced with crinkled eyes and a small chuckle when she saw you bouncing all over the place. You would have enjoyed it yourself too were it not for the snake about to throw its fangs at you. You jumped, as high as possible to avoid the attack, and turned into a gorilla again to catch the snake once and for all. You grabbed the python from the middle of its body with one hand and trapped the python's head with the other. You didn't let go until it transformed back to the man who was shouting at the police.

In the meantime, Supergirl moved using her super speed and took the rhino by the horn. There was a moment of struggle for both of them. The rhino tried to push her and Supergirl tried to hold her stance but, at the end, she drove him the ground and another man appeared instead of the rhino, too exhausted to keep fighting.

"I told them to surround." Kara shrugged and you growled softly in approval.

A moment later, DEO vehicles were surrounding the area and several agents jumped out of the cars to take the men into custody. Supergirl and you took flight, following the vans and monitoring the route in case anything else happened. But now, after the fight, you couldn't help the feeling that something was off with this whole situation. For three shapeshifters, they didn't shift into much.

Come to think of it, you had never found another person with similar powers who wasn't an alien. Maybe they were aliens but then, why didn't they morph into something scarier than just earth animals? You were thinking so hard about it, you almost didn't notice when one of the vans stopped abruptly mid-way and started moving on the spot.

From inside the car you could hear something between a roar and a scream and Kara flew down immediately to see what was happening. You followed and landed in front of the car's doors ready for another fight but, when Kara opened the doors, your whole body froze at the sight.

#lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena x reader #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor fic #mustang ride #part iii #shapeshifter #shapeshifter reader #shapeshifter!reader

[happyleech]

HappyLeech’s Fanfiction WIP List (Updated March 31st, 2018)

An updated version of this 

Silent Hill

Unnamed Post-SH3 Fic: Heather returns home from Silent Hill to find that Harry is now like Lisa from SH1. First chapter in progress

The Two Cycles of Revenge/Serial Killer AU: 1.) The Orphaned Child 2.) The Vengeful Widow. Chapter 2 rewrite in progress.

The Ashfield Community Current Events and Archives/SH4 AU: “The librarians would please ask that you put all materials relating to the Ashfield and related areas back when finished. Materials pertaining to the Walter Sullivan Case are not for public viewing.” Chapter 7 in progress

Road Tripping/Multifandom xover: After Silent Hill, Alex and Elle decide to get out of town and go on a trip. Chapter 2 in progress

Unnamed Post-SH4 AU: Eileen survives Walter, but she’s the only one to survive. Henry isn’t happy about that. First chapter in progress

Resident Evil

The Unjust Persecution of Helena Harper: Simmons wasn’t nearly as stupid as everyone had thought, and even though he’s dead, he’s going to take someone down with him. (In which Helena is fingered as a willing participant in the attacks, Hunnigan, Leon, Jake, Sherry, Chris, and Claire have to keep her safe and hidden, and Helena ends up in Spain with Ada and the Merchant, bonding and bitching about Leon) Chapter 7 in progress

Soldier, Medic, Marksman, Thief/RE1 AU: Instead of being arrested, Dick Valentine is killed after a robbery gone wrong. Instead of being pressed into different work by her jail-bound father, Jill Valentine takes up his mantle. A master thief in her father’s name, she sets her eyes on the Spencer Estate, deep in the Arklay Mountains… Chapter 4 in progress

Overwatch

Jesse and Fareeha are forbidden friends/AU oneshot: Jesse knows he should stay away from Fareeha, but instead they become friends. Almost finished, needs editing.

Dinner at Lena’s: Emily wants to meet Lena’s friends, and what better way than a dinner party? Chapter 2 in progress

Strategy Games: Maybe becoming friends with global personality D.Va was a bad idea, 76 thought as his anonymity was stripped away by the internet, but it was nice to have someone to play games with. Chapter 2 in progress

The Dragon’s Hoard/Magic AU: In a world filled with magic, giants and shifters and immortals, dragons are myths. Stories to scare or charm children, and nothing more. But as Jesse McCree, Tekhartha Zenyatta, and Satya Vaswani are quick to find out, maybe that isn’t the truth… Chapter 3 in progress

Darkness Falls/Serial Killer AU: Before the Shambali, he was a killer, assassinations and death his calling. Unfortunately, escaping the hold of the God A.I. wasn’t enough to temper the urges within. Chapter 2 in progress

Sake, Bourbon, and Other Spirits/Ghost AU: Watchpoint Gibraltar is a haven for Overwatch’s oddest– Genji, Winston, Tracer, the people who can’t integrate back to regular life after the fall. And it’s not just the living that take solace in the old Watchpoint…  Chapter 3 in progress  

Tracer and the Junkers/ Band AU: Emily didn’t think she’d fall for the lead of the band that played at the pub every few weeks. She didn’t think she’d also fall for Satya Vaswani either. Chapter 1 in progress

The Adventure Zone

Restless Dreams/Silent Hill AU: Magnus picks up two hitchhikers on his way to Silent Hill. Second chapter in progress

Unnamed Resident Evil AU: The IPRE is all scientists, and Umbrella is after what they found -- Taako, Magnus, and Merle work for Balance, though they don’t remember joining. Barry is a BOW, Kravitz works for the B.S.A.A, and Lup works for Umbrella. Chapter 1 in progress

Overflowing Pockets: Taako gives people trinkets they need, regardless of if they know that they need them. Chapter 4 in progress

Unnamed Carey and Killian Bakery AU: Killian needs a cake for work, and the one she picks up from the bakery is…well…bad. When she goes back to complain she realizes that the cake decorator is cute and that she’s hella gay and Killian ends up with more cake than she really needs. Nearly finished

Penpals: Angus and Jimmy exchange letters and become friends. Chapter 4 in progress.

Unnamed Lucretia fic: There’s a reason there aren’t any dogs allowed on the moon. Angsty. Working on the concept

Arsenicum Album/AU: Taako tries his food once serving begins in Glamour Springs, and pulls a Lup. Now he’s healing in a town full of people who want to help him heal and who, get this, want him to stay. Chapter 3 in progress.

Until Dawn

Friends with Revengafits/AU: Josh wasn’t the only one upset about what happened to Beth and Hannah, and he gets a helping hand to assist him with his grand prank. Rewrite in progress, then to eventually finish

Hunger Pains/ After Game AU: They may have left Blackwood Mountain, but Blackwood Mountain isn’t going to leave them. Rewrite pending, then to finish eventually

#Leechy Writes #Leech Texts #Taz Talk #Silent Hill Talk #Until Dawn Talk #Resident Evil Talk #A selection of fic that I need to finish/post

[dorianfiftyshadesof-gray]

Commentary: Game of Thrones 7x03

-7x03 guys! let's see if I get a broken heart again, shall we? -"Previously on Game of Thrones" *inhales* -Fuck you Thrones! gotta remind me of this little bean dying! -I'm Euron Babejoy's biggest stan. Love that extra cuck -The gentle hum of HBO followed the mighty intenseness of the GoT theme. Love it -Remember when the Bolton sigil was on Winterfell. sad reacts only -hOLY FUCK WE'RE STARTING WITH JON AND TYRION AND DAENY I CANNOT BREATHE! -Missandei is like an air hostess on QANTAS rn -if Davos dies this season, we riot! -Tyrion asking of Sansa. This is what I wanted! -Cheeky bants between everyone's favourite character™ and Jonny Snow -Naw mate, you're a Targaryen -I love Melisandre. She's had such a subtle arc -Varys is acting like such a salty bitch oml -hERE WE GO!! -they're looking at each other this is too much! -soooo many titles... -Daeny fake smiling highkey -He's your granddaddy too Jonny Snow, well great-grandaddy..i think -Daeny is so strong and powerful bless -”believe in yourself”: Daenerys “Rastafarian” Targaryen 2017 -Daeny trying so hard to get Jon to bend the knee with her speeches. Like the Night King is coming for that ass and he doesn't give a flying dragon about who you are and what you think you deserve. -i need Davos as my friend. I need this level of support -i knew they wouldn't get along. -oh shit. Jonny Snow is gonna get locked up -What did Varys say, count me curious -Hey there Celine Theon! lookin like Rose from Titanic -EURON!!! MY PIRATE DADDY YEEEESSSSSS! -"This is making me hard" oh Euron you horny piece of trash you -then again, Yara is my Salt Queen and no one treats my Salt Queen that way -lol "what a twat" true -What's up with all these peasants wasting food like no tomorrow?? -I bet Cersei still isn't going to marry him -Euron just keeps on throwing shade at Jaime every chance he gets -Haha knew it. You get no wifey, Euron -"Advice?" *gives confused look* "Does she like it gentle or rough?" *JAIME TRIGGERED* "The finger in the bum" *JAIME EXPERIENCES A TRIGGERING HE'S NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE* -Jaime blinks so intensely the 7 kingdoms almost became 8 -I actually feel empathy for Cersei right now. She really did love Myrcella. Her love for her children is really her only redeeming quality. and I also love how Game of Thrones emphasises how important a mother’s love for her children is, especially a mother’s love for her daughter. -oh shit what's Cersei gonna do -oh shit Cersei did that! -having to sit and watch your daughter die in front of you is pretty harsh, but i think pretty deserved -we gonna see some gold star incest now? -when you say no but she wants the succ -i'd definitely give Jaime the succ. He's sweet sugar daddy -this is like the first time we've seen Cersei and Jaime this intimate. like just looking into each other's eyes. still don't ship it but it's something to think about. -Oh hey there Mycroft acting exactly like Mycroft -Lena Headey is incredible at this whole acting shinding aye -if I had a shot of vodka every time Jon Snow was looking into the distance brooding, i'd be dead from fucked up livers -Jon confirmed top tier brooder by Tyrion -Philosophical chats w/ Tyrion Lannister -Tyrion puts everything into perspective -"Are you trying to present your own statements as ancient wisdom?" me in exams -Lol named after her brother and his uncle -They're both so similar. Little stubborn babies -Let's see how SanSan is doing -Fuck off Baelish -Sansa is being such a wise Queen. I am very pleased with her progress -Once again, Fuck off Baelish -Sansa of the Sass™ -That's some okay advice, I'll give him that -ARE WE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER STARK REUNION!!!!??? -OH MY HEART -i'm crying. i'm gone! -Why is Bran looking calm af while mascara is dripping down my face -"I can't be the lord of Winterfell, I'm the three eyed raven." Bran sounds like he just got back from burning man. -Sansa is me about Bran's storyline like "!?!?!?!?!?" -Is he talking about her goddamn wedding to Ramsay (who i miss dearly partly cause i've recently rewatched Misfits and Iwan Rheon is such a gift) -Sansa getting a Vietnam flashback -Jorah the Explorer has healed pretty quick. He used to look like when you pull the cheese of your pizza and now looks all sexy and scarred. -Jorah the Explorer is an awful liar tbh -well Samwell is fucked -it seems as if everyone's paths have crossed again this season -Hell yeah Samwell! -Slughorn acting like a mum who's son did the wrong thing but was proud all the same -But the mum still doesn't reward the son -Daeny wants to get her dragons out *wink wink nudge nudge* -Please don't let Grey Worm die -Oh my god Tyrion you sewer legend! -*feels relief* Grey Worm didnt die -oml Grey Worm did the sexy taking off the helmet thing -Fucking Greyjoys! always here to crash someone's party -Jaime sure does look good on a horse. He's like the dude from the Old Spice ad! -Oh nice! Highgarden looks super beautiful! and it's probably going to be the last time we see it -"He really was a cunt, wasn't he" Olenna bless -has Jaime got some type of Stolkhome Sydrome? Jaime please listen to reason! -Olenna being all Oprah on Jaime's ass -NO! Olenna can't die! Please no! -Olenna just dropped the mic on Jaime like wtf! -So one of my faves is dead now. Thanks a lot dicks. Until next week

#game of thrones #game of thrones season 7 #got #got7 #game of thrones commentary #jon snow #davos seaworth #tyrion lannister #missandei #grey worm #lord varys #melisandre #daenerys targaryen #daenerys stormborn #theon greyjoy #celine theon #euron greyjoy #euron babejoy #yara greyjoy #ellaria sand #tyene sand #cersei lannister #jaime lannister #sansa stark #petyr baelish #littlefinger #bran stark #meera reed #ramsay bolton #samwell tarly

[cecehathaway]

Marry Me | Para

Dorothy sat in the passenger’s seat of her dad’s ‘69 triple black Mustang convertible--her sister, Lena, in the driver’s seat, pulling up at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens. A portion of it had been blocked off and reserved for the small wedding ceremony and reception but as there was nowhere to get ready at the site so her sister met her at her apartment and helped ready her from head to toe. Once they found the reserved parking nearest to the site, Lena pulled the convertible’s roof back, storing it properly away before helping Dorothy out of the car. “Do you want your flats now or do you wanna save them for later?” Lena asked, grabbing their bouquets and a small bag of supplies from the back seat: makeup for touch-ups, an extra pair of shoes, a water bottle and a bag of mixed nuts to snack on if Dorothy got hungry before things got started; a travel sewing kit, safety pins, and several packs of tissues. Meanwhile, Dorothy stood near the car, heart hammering hard behind her rib cage. “The flats,” she whispered and slid her pedicured toes in once they were on the ground. In the past two months she’d been spending getting to know Will, there were a few times where she wished this day had come sooner, and even fewer times where she wished it could be pushed back out of fear of the possibility that things might change for the worse between them. It was unreal how well things had been between them that she couldn’t help anticipating them hitting a not-so-shallow speed bump like the one they had on their first date. Shutting her eyes, she had taken her dozenth deep breath but Lena’s words made her open her eyes again. “Hey, Dottie. I know you’re nervous--don’t deny it. But don’t go putting extra and unnecessary pressure and worries on yourself, alright? Here.” Dorothy looked down and saw her sister holding her bouquet out--an arrangement of peonies, all in different shades of pink. With something to occupy her trembling hands now, Dorothy let her sister’s advice echo in her mind and started inside the gardens, the two sisters taking a shorter path than she and Will had when they visited it together. Lena walked just behind her, holding the soft pleats of her train off of the ground until they reached the ceremony site. There was a spot just out of sight of the guests and the path across the bridge where she would follow Daina and her sister in a matter of moments.

Willwas rubbing his hands together, the smooth skin suddenly feeling extremely cold as the time for the ceremony drew closer. He needed some kind of pep talk, someone to tell him that it would all be okay, that he was in love and wanted to do this, but as he saw Heather walking towards him, he let out a sigh, but put on a smile as he saw the small belly that was currently growing his niece or nephew. He really wasn’t in the mood for another one from her, especially after he saw that she’d aired his dirty secrets to all his friends. Things had been tense ever since but as he fiddled with his tie, he figured now was a good time to bury the hatchet. “Hey big bro.” She said, coming up to him, her hands expertly tying the knot in his bowtie. “I know we don’t have a lot of time but I wanted to apologize. I never should have told your friends what I did and I’m sorry. I was just… I wanted them to know you. To understand you like I do. I know it doesn’t make it right but that’s why I did it.” Heather said, wrapping her arms around his waist as she hugged him. “I just worry about you. I don’t want you to start drinking again.” She finished, her eyes filling with tears but she wiped them away quickly. “Listen, I love you Heather, but now isn’t really a good time for this kind of talk. I’m getting married soon and I don’t need this right now. Just go sit with mom and dad and I’ll find you after the ceremony, okay? I love you but I don’t need you right now.” He spoke, his voice cracking as he buttoned up the cufflinks. He took a deep breath, pushing all thoughts of his sister and what she had done out of his head, as he headed out of the tent and towards the altar to wait for Dorothy.

Dorothy listened to the background music playing about the ceremony site while her sister helped her switch from her flats to the lavender pumps she picked out. Speakers were discretely hung amongst the surrounding trees and when she peeked out at the ceremony site, she saw the array of colorful buds and flowers in bloom. Bunches of peonies hung from the bridge, and she could see the small metal buckets lining the outermost chairs of each row, knowing they were filled with tea light candles and more blossom. She saw some distance away, the glass spheres with candles inside, hanging from the trees that led down the short path toward the reception. The butterflies that filled her stomach when she was here for their first date returned in full. She briefly relaxed her grip on her bouquet and ended up focusing on the way her hands gave away her nervousness until her eyes fell on her bare ring finger. The wild beating against her heart seemed to slowly calm as everything around her. She could perfectly envision the ring that would soon be back on her finger and with it was coming a lifetime of commitment to Will. The tug of war within her was currently having a clear winner--she wasn’t anchored to her fears and not only did she know that the best thing for her to do for herself was to be present in what was happening here and now, but she believed it. She believed it enough to close her fingers back around her bouquet with a confidence that previously hadn’t been. With perfect timing, the music changed to the light strumming on an acoustic guitar to Train’s “Marry Me”, cueing the start of the ceremony. She watched her bridesmaid and matron of honor precede her down the path and across the pond bridge toward the altar. Once the guests were invited by the officiant to please stand and greet the bride, Dorothy looked down at herself, mostly to make sure she wouldn’t trip. Gripping her bouquet like it held her newfound confidence, she lifted her head and started down the path towards the bridge--the music and lyrics, the surroundings and the anticipating for seeing Will all causing a new sort of jitters to bubble inside her.

The decorations were beyond what Will and Dorothy could have imagined during their initial meeting. Sure they’d discussed what they wanted and added details to make it the best it could be in the short amount of time, but to see it come to life and look as if months and months of planning had gone into it, made him smile. The butterflies in his stomach had come to life in the moments since arriving at the altar and when he spotted his family, his smile grew. He wasn’t ready to make nice with his sister but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t want her there for the wedding. Looking around at all the guests and members of their families, it felt familiar but also completely new. He never pictured himself doing this again for the second time but after these short months, he felt comfortable enough to say that Dorothy was the one. He knew it in his heart. She had healed him, she made him believe in love again, and he would be able to sleep comfortably next to her knowing and believing that she was hand picked by Kayla. She knew everything about him and it was only right she be the one to pick the next woman for him to love. As his head filled with thoughts of the past two months, he thought of all their conversations, all their dates, the night she slept over on his birthday, it was all building up to this. A short 15 minute ceremony that would make them bonded for life. He secretly wondered what Dorothy was going to look like, if he had picked the right tuxedo but figured that a gray suit would look good against the many pastel floral patterns that adorned the gardens. He had opted for a light blue flower to pin to his lapel, figuring a small splash of color might make the scene perfect. Finally, he heard the music start up and the song they’d chosen together started playing. The nerves were starting to rear up but he kept his eyes focused on the bridge, not wanting to miss a single moment. He made eye contact with her sister and smiled again, before focusing back on the bridge, wishing it were shorter. He glanced at his dad, pointing to the pocket that had the ring, asking if it was still there. David just laughed and nodded, giving his son a quick hug as the officiant asked that everyone rise. Will turned his attention to the end of the carpet and waited.

Rather than walking up an aisle, the arrangement was for Dorothy to be led straight to Will from the bridge. The path curved slightly so she hadn’t come into sight of Will or the altar until her shoes were on the wooden bridge. She briefly glanced over to their small gathering of guests--her friend and colleague, Daina; her ex-turned good friend, Alby and his mother, and her sister and brother-in-law were all reserved front row seats alongside Will’s family. She was vaguely aware of Henna taking photos but she had taken her eyes off of the intimate spectacle around her. Her heartbeart started thumping a little harder again, responding to her anxiousness building until her brown eyes fell on her soon-to-be husband. He was waiting right there. For her. Her breath hitched high in her throat while tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. She forced her lips together to remind herself to breathe again but the deep inhale through her nose hadn’t stopped her eyes from filling with tears. While internally cursing herself for not being able to completely hold it together, she glanced up at the sky, not trusting herself to successfully wipe away the makeup that wasn’t waterproof. Patrick Monahan crooning the beautiful song’s chorus through her walk certainly hadn’t helped as a thin, shallow stream spilled down her cheeks. Dorothy fervently prayed that Will wouldn’t get the wrong idea as she tearfully approached him. Unable to take it anymore, she moved her bouquet to one hand and lightly dabbed under each of her eyes, sniffing and breathing a soft laugh which allowed her smile to return. The music faded to a close and after the officiant permitted their guests to take their seats again, Dorothy managed to get her tears under control but struggled to be as attentive to his words of greeting that soon followed. Her eyes were fixated on Will and her mind had her feeling like he was someone she had gotten to know much longer than the two months that breezed by and brought them to this day.

Will didn't want to miss a minute of her entrance and the long walk to his side but as he looked out over the crowd, his eyes fell on several people he knew. A few of his friends from his old firm, who had rather unsuccessfully, begged him to come back. They'd had a good laugh the night before when they'd gone out for drinks, Will opting for one beer and then a water. His sister's concern that his sobriety was being threatened wasn't exactly unwarranted but he knew his limits, he knew when to say no. Except for perhaps the night of his birthday but that was a celebration and didn't count. A few of his childhood neighbors had shown up, no doubt invited by his parents, as a way to fill seats on his side. Will hadn't anticipated the turnout but was still glad it was small. The whole time the music was playing, Will's eyes kept looking towards the bridge, hoping that she would soon step into view, and the rest of their lives could finally begin. Seeing Henna snapping photos brought his attention back to the bridge and to the faintest hint of white through the trees and hanging lanterns. He felt his eyes already forming tears as she finally came into view. “Wow.” He muttered, sniffling quietly as their eyes locked. In that moment, they were the only two people here and she was walking towards him, ready to start their journey into married bliss together. He didn't care that there were tears in his eyes, she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and she was walking to him. His heart pounded against his chest, and he felt an overwhelming sense of relief and terror and happiness all come into the forefront of his mind. He knew there were things still left to discuss and things still left to do, but for right now, all that mattered was the few short steps to the altar, the vows they'd repeat, the kiss they would share, and the tears they'd shed when it was over. Seeing the tears in her own eyes, Will smiled, reaching up to wipe one away. There was no doubt in his mind they held the same meaning his own tears did and as he the officiant told everyone to sit, he took that time to wipe them away. And then his hands were down and holding Dorothy's and for a brief moment, time stopped. He whispered a ‘hi’ to her before smiling, his eyes never leaving her face.

Dorothy’s face was already warm but she wasn’t aware of just how much until Will’s fingertips brushed across her face. She’d given him a grateful smile and breathed a small laugh, ducking her head only to look directly back up at him. After a light sniff and a new smile coming to her face, Dorothy whispered back, “Hiya, cowboy,” before the officiant proceeded with the ceremony. One of her hands remained firmly gripped around her bouquet while the other held Will’s with a sureness. She was doing her best to listen to the man’s words but it all seemed so distant as she kept her cleared gaze fixed on her soon-to-be husband’s bright green eyes. Somewhere in the back of her mind she hoped she would remember to thank her sister for insisting they have video taken for the ceremony and highlights of the reception. It wasn’t until the officiant spoke of she and Will deciding to exchange their own vows that Dorothy took her eyes off of Will and looked to the officiant who said, “You're about to make promises to each other that you intend to keep. You're going to vow to take care of each other, to stand up for one another, and find happiness in the other. There's a simple premise to each of these promises: you're vowing to be there. You're teaming up and saying to the other, "Every experience I am going to have, I want you to be a part of.’ With that in mind, the couple will exchange rings along with their own vows, beginning with Will to Dorothy.” Dorothy then looked back to Will with that familiar flutter starting in her stomach again.

He could feel the warmth in her face and it only made the smile on his grow wider, almost as if teasing her without actually saying anything. He was thankful that Henna had not decided to do a close-up of his face because everyone would be able to see the puffy eyes and wet eyelashes from his earlier crying. He had never been shy about being an emotional person but it was supposed to be a happy day and tears always seemed to hold a negative connotation. Hearing the nickname that he'd grown so fond of over the past few months made his chuckle slightly more audible. Staring into his almost wife's face made him think back to all the trials they'd faced and all the ones they had yet to conquer. It wasn't going to be easy, there would be days where they would piss each other off but if the butterflies in his stomach and the pounding in his chest was any indication, it was all going to be okay. Couples fought and then they made up. He didn't think there was anything they could do or say that would tear them apart. It was scary to think he was basing all this on the way he felt in his heart but that was the definition of love right? When the officiant finished with what he had to say, it fell on Willto take the next step and he cleared his throat, hoping that his voice didn't crack as he repeated the words he'd been practicing all week. Fetching the heirloom ring from his pocket, he slid the engagement ring, this time with a new addition, onto her finger. “Dorothy Ayanna McCoy,” he paused, a small smirk playing on his lips, “I had to ask your sister for your middle name so shh..” He started, his face breaking into a smile as the wedding guests chuckled and laughed. He was a bundle of nerves as he silently repeated the words that had become ingrained in his mind. “You are an amazing woman and it has been my honor to get to know you these past few months. I know its silly to think that you've found your soul mate after so little time together but when I met you, I was a broken man. My heart was shattered and I didn't think that it would ever be fixed. And I thought I was okay with that. The day I got my letter, I knew my life would never be the same. I was scared and nervous and excited all rolled into one. When you walked into my shop that day, I had no idea the impact you would have on my life. We've had our share of speedbumps and insecurities but that's only made us stronger.” He paused, reaching up to wipe his eyes, not caring that he was crying in front of all of their guests. “You've changed me for the better, you helped heal my broken heart and made me feel something again. I know we still have a lot of learning left to do and we may fight and go hours without talking but I’ll eventually crack because you’re impossible to stay mad at.” He grinned, giving her a small wink. “I just want you to know that I look forward to spending the rest of our lives figuring us out.” He finished, sniffling audibly as he continued to wipe his eyes.

Dorothy hadn’t any trouble looking to Will again as he started on their vows. She softly chuckled right along with their guests when he revealed his source for getting her middle name ad at the same time, she gave his hand a small squeeze. Listening to him tell how she had affected his life already, and watching his eyes brim with fresh tears, she felt her own eyes prick and attempt to get her going again but she held herself together with a closed-lipped smile that reached her eyes. She glanced down, watching him place his grandmother’s ring on her finger, along with a second band she hadn’t seen before. Seeing the way it fit on her finger, with the ring he initially gave her made her momentarily stop breathing but she soon remembered to. As her turn to say her vows was then instructed by the officiant, Dorothy looked to Lena, just as the older of the two sisters briefly approached the altar, long enough to exchange Dorothy’s bouquet for the titanium and white gold band Dorothy picked out for him. The bride closed her free hand around the token and resumed gazing up at Will, raising her manicured thumb up to kindly wipe away a stray tear from his cheek as he’d done for her. Knowing that he favored his nickname over his full name, she said, “Well, since I’m not here to scold you, I’ll stick with ‘Will’...” Her teeth shone slightly through her own mild joke and the murmur of amusement from their guests. “Will, there’s a mug I have that says ‘Without fear, there is no courage’. In the time we’ve been together, you have helped me take so many of the fears I’ve had and transform them into courage. The courage to take chances for us, on us. There’s more here between us than a law. I feel it. And I am so grateful to you for being the kind of person who affects me in a way where I want to act on my feelings and not always get caught up in my own head--as you already know I’m very good at doing that.” Glancing down for only a second, she renewed her gaze to him with a soft smile, “I vow to be the best version of myself that I can be for you and our future, whatever it may look like. I vow to keep learning and growing with you. I know how wrapped up in my head I can get, and how I tend to behave when I’m mad, so... I vow to do my best to keep talking, even when we may be upset with each other. I promise to be there for you whenever you need me, and I will always remind you that there’s nothing you or I will have to go at alone, going forward.” There was more she was certain she’d had to say when writing this out for herself but the words weren’t coming to her now; instead, she concluded her vows with, “Even in times when I may not like you, I promise to love you. Always.” The middle of her final vow was paused with a small wink and a smirk on her part and when she finished, she lowered her gaze to watch herself place the band on Will’s finger, all the while surprised at herself for keeping it together for her part of the vows.

The hard part is over now,Willthought as the officiant waited while he put the ring on her finger. He was kind of nervous about whether she would like the new setting and the rose gold coloring but seeing her eyes light up as he placed it there put those nerves to rest. He knew he had skipped certain parts of his vows, opting to leave them out voluntarily because it was neither the time nor the place to say them. There might have been an 'I love you' stuck in the original draft but Will didn't want his first time saying those words to be in a crowd of people, no, they should be said in private to these person they're meant for. Perhaps on their vacation he might pluck up the courage to say what he'd known in his heart since his birthday. Giving his wife a smile, he watched as she took the ring from her sister and while he was mildly upset with himself that her ring didn't match his, he had to remind himself that nothing about this marriage was traditional. It was planned from the start by the government, it wasn't an option so by default, there wasn't a reason to go out and buy a ring. But Will was a traditionalist nonetheless and Dorothy definitely deserved a sense of normalcy in this otherwise unorthodox wedding. He was just thankful to his parents for allowing him to use his grandmother's ring. He leaned into her touch when she wiped the tear and gave her an encouraging smile. He shook his head and laughed at the scolding part, looking out at his parents and wondering if they'd told her about that part of his upbringing. Listening to her talk about all the positive influences he'd had on her and how she felt about him, made his heart flutter, something that hadn't happened since Kayla. There was such a deep unspoken affection he had for her that he couldn't put into words and too know that she had felt it as well only deepened his love for her. The more she talked, the more his eyes brimmed with tears and by the end of it, he was sure his face was red and extremely unattractive but he carried on, letting go of one of her hands to wipe his eyes. Feeling the cool metal sit snugly on his finger, for the second time in his life, brought a new sense of relief and worry to his face. The first time was easy because it was planned, he had time to get to know her, to determine if she was the right person for him. This time it was all different. There was the marriage and then the getting to know you part. Dorothy was outspoken, opinionated, and seemed to make friends easily whereas he was more laid back and reserved, preferring to have one or two close friends as opposed to a group. It was certainly going to be a journey and a wild ride but he was prepared, for the most part. He let out a sigh, squeezing Dorothy's hand as the officiant read a quick passage from the Bible. Once it was over, he grasped their hands and held it, looking to the both of them. “Now, that the rings have been exchanged, there's just one thing left. Dorothy, Will, guests and family, by the power vested in me by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” He said, before looking up at Will and smiling. “You may now kiss the bride.” He let go of their hands and Will wasted no time pulling her flush against him and lifting her chin, his eyes falling shut as he tenderly pressed his lips to hers.

Dorothy smiled softly, watching Will’s reaction and thankful that they chose to recite their own vows. She intended to wipe away the fresh tears from his eyes but he had beaten her to it and she gave his ring-wielding hand a gentle squeeze. It wasn’t until Lena approached once more to give her her bouquet back, and the officiant took hold of hers and Will’s hands that she had been really attentive to what the officiant was saying. Her eyes went from the man who married them to the man who was now declared her husband, a strange giddiness rushing through her in anticipation of what was to come next. Automatically, Will circled her arms--bouquet and all--around the back of her new husband’s neck, tilting her head only a second before their lips met. Her foot began to raise much like it had the first time they kissed here in the gardens, but her foot was resisted by the train on her dress. Smiling against his lips, Dorothy felt tempted to deepen the kiss as she often did when her lips met but given their audience, she only matched Will’s gentleness and hadn’t pulled away until some time after their guests applauded them and the near end of their ceremony. She kept her arms around him while murmuring to him, “You just kissed a married woman, cowboy.”

When the officiant declared them husband and wife, the butterflies that had, since first meeting Dorothy, been fluttering off and on, flourished and his insides felt as if they might literally burst from the happiness he was feeling. Whether it was the honeymoon stage still or the anticipation of their new life together, all Will could feel was happy. Pulling her close, feeling their bodies together again, made his smile go wide, his dimples prominent to everyone who could see them, and when he kissed her, he was taken back to their first time in the carriage, and the many times after, and while it wouldn’t have been hard to deepen it, he didn’t want to turn this into a full on makeout session… that would be saved for later during the ride to his house to pack for their adventure. He still had no idea where Dorothy had planned for them to go and he didn’t care so long as they were together and happy. When he felt her body shift again, like it had at the Gardens the first time, he chuckled into the kiss, lifting her off her feet and twirling her around. He broke the kiss only when she was safely back on the ground. Hearing her words, he laughed and shook his head. “Well I certainly hope he’s not here because I don’t want a fight to break out.” He teased, grabbing her hand to hold it as they turned to face the crowd. “Thank you all so much for coming. The reception will be in just a few minutes. Just follow the arrows down the path and it’ll be on your right. My wife and I will be down there shortly.” He said, turning to look their friends and family. They conversed for a few minutes with some of the stragglers and finally once the crowd had dispersed, he finally turned to look at his wife. “Well Mrs. Turner, are you ready?” He asked, grabbing her hand when she nodded. “Let’s go have our first dance.”

#para: Marry Me #ch: WillT #willthebaker #mlawdw

[lenanotluthorfabray]

Interruptions and Conversation || Black&Wicked Ones

Who: Lena Fabray & Issy Berry When: 6.6.17 ; after 11 pm What: Lena needs an escape, gets caught when time isn’t on her side. Deep conversation ensues. Warnings: Self harm

Lena had known the breakdown was coming. It was nothing new. However, sharing a room with Issy had sped up the processes and complicated it all in one go. Knowing her friend had gone out for karaoke night, she knew she had a roughly five hour window before she had to deal with Issy being back. She'd gone out to dinner, an attempt to ignore the urges plaguing the back of her mind. Once she'd returned, she'd showered and did her best to kill time, hoping that maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to get away without harming. As she sat around after her shower, in a tank top and shorts, she made the mistake of putting on her usual playlist for when things got like this. Choosing to ignore the time, instead of the urges, she flipped open her lighter, lit a cigarette and then moved her wrist over the flame. The relief was almost instant, as the flame licked at the skin of her wrist. Little did she know, time was not on her side.

Isabella was glad to be done with karaoke. Nothing against having fun and singing, but she didnt want to be around her sister forever or anyone else for that matter. She made her way back to Lena's and her's room before she smelled smoke. She furrowed her eyebrows before she put the key into the door and opened up to see Lena. "What are you doing." She tossed her key and walked over towards Lena. 

Lena dropped her lighter the minute she heard her friend's voice. The metal clattered to the table and she instinctively put what was left of the cigarette out on her wrist before tossing it into the ash tray. Her wrist now stung, in a way she loved yet hated, and she sighed. The glaring red of the burns stuck out against her pale skin, among the old scars that were so clearly visible up and down both arms, including the one on her right forearm, caused by her drunken stupidity. She'd yet to wrap it back up after her shower, figuring it could use some time to air out. "Feeling, what's it look like?" Okay so, totally not an appropriate answer but it was still true, more or less. 

Isabella grabbed the ice bucket, that was melted now and shook her head as she sat down after she grabbed the first kid kit. "It looks like you were harming yourself, Le." She said as she looked at her and didn't know what to feel. "Gimme your arms."

Lena rolled her eyes. "Same difference, yeah?" Her words were harsh as she held out her left arm, figuring she'd worry about her right one later, after the left was taken care of. "Guess now you know why Q didn't tell you what really went on the night she patched up my drunken stupidity." A humorless laugh left her lips as she looked at her own wrists. God, how had she gotten this bad off? That she couldn't even make it a week without fucking up? Now she was stuck with Issy knowing her secret on top of Quinn knowing and everything seemed to be out to screw her over.

Isabella looked at her and held her tongue. "Bad way to feel if you tell me." She replied as she started taking care of her arm and knew that this whole thing was a mess. "Yeah and I know why you didn't tell me what happened. Wasn't an act of drunken stupidity." She swallowed hard, not knowing what to do or what to think or what to say right now. "How long have you been doing this?"

Lena shrugged a bit as Issy spoke. "Better bad than not at all." Lena sighed as Issy spoke, flinching only slightly as Issy patched up her arms. "This wasn't," she moved her left hand lightly. "This," she held up her right forearm, "technically was. I mean, not all of it was, but drunk me thought it was an excellent idea to burn the arm I'd splashed alcohol on." Lena sighed as Issy asked the question not even Quinn had asked. Sure, she'd told Quinn, but Quinn hadn't asked. "Stole the Zippo at age twelve, my thighs got it first." She pulled up the leg of her shorts on the leg closest to Issy, revealing old, long healed scars. "Probably took to fucking with my arms at thirteen. My legs couldn't take climbing and skating while burned."

Isabella saw her filched. "Sorry." She replied softly once she was done patching up her arms and gathered all of the garbage, looked at her as she spoke. She swallowed once more, blinked away the tears. She glanced at her leg, seeing the healed scars and looked at her as she continued to tell her. She felt stupid, beyond stupid at the fact that this was happening right underneath her nose and in front of her. "I want you to know that I am not mad at you. I care a lot about you and I don't know what has been happening for you to relapse, but Im here for you."

Lena shrugged a bit when Issy apologized. It wasn't something to apologize for, a little extra pain while patching up was expected. Lena watched Issy, examined the way her friend was reacting, the way she spoke when she finally did. It hurt more than she expected it to and she was quick to reach out for Issy, gently pulling her friend into her lap. Tucking her chin over her friend's shoulder, she hugged Issy to her. "It's not relapse when you haven't tried to stop it." She sighed. "I'm always fighting it. Usually, I can ignore it. Recently, things have gotten more chaotic and I haven't been able to deal with it. Q finding out..." Closing her eyes against the tears that wanted to fall. "It was just too much."

Isabella let the girl pulled her friend into her lap and placed her hands on Lena's arms. She listened to her, sniffed and glanced at her the best she could. She gently rubbed her arms in hopes it could comfort her. "Hey...." She gently moved and faced her as she gently cupped her face. "Everything's going to be okay, I know it doesnt seem like it but its going to be okay..Im here for you, Im going to be part of the support system with Q.." She gave her a small smile. "I don't know why you started doing it, but Im going to be there with you, every step of the way. I'll stand by you and you can lean on me when you're not strong."

Lena sighed, smiling sadly at Issy. The feeling of her friend's hands on her arms was an odd sensation and she couldn't figure out how she felt about it. It wasn't the worst feeling in the world and it helped ease her nerves with the slight pain it brought. Looking at her friend, she leaned their foreheads together. "Thanks, Is." Her words were soft as she closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. "I don't even know anymore. Chaos kind of took control and I wanted to take that back, I don't know. Got going and then couldn't stop because it helped so much, to feel and to be alive. It just, was so easy." Opening her eyes once again, she looked at her friend. "I'm sorry you had to see this, Is. I never..."

Isabella nodded gently when she heard her. "You're welcome Le." She said softly and listened to her some more. Her heart hurt for her friend, the one person she wanted to make sure she didn't want to hurt or see hurt but yet she did. She was grateful though and knew that this was important. She shook her head at her apologize. "I know Le.." She sadly smile at her before she gave her friend a hug and rubbed her back.

Lena hugged Issy back, burying her head in her friend's neck. She lost the battle against the tears. Crying wasn't her thing, but at this point, she didn't have the energy to keep fighting it. It was, admittedly, nice to be held by someone who wasn't her sister, or herself. She was glad Issy was the second person, after Quinn, to know. Outside of her sister, Issy was probably the only other person she'd be okay with them knowing. Luna was a close third, but the pair were too similar for Lena to imagine it going over. She also just didn't want anyone else knowing, at least for a while. 

Isabella kept rubbing her back as she held her close to her and let her own tears roll down her cheeks. "When the night, has come..and the land is dark. And the moon is the only light we see." She started to sing softly as she held the girl close to her. "No, I won't be afraid...No I won't be afraid just as along as you stand by me." She blinked away her tears and sniffed. "So darling, So darling, darling. Stand by me, oh stand by me. Oh stand, Stand by me." She sniffed once more as she glanced down at her best friend. "If the sky we look upon, Should tumble and fall, Or the mountain should crumble to the sea I won't cry, I won't cry, No, I won't shed a tear, Just as long as you stand, stand by me." She let out a shaky breath as she continued to sing."So darling, darling, Stand by me, oh stand by me. Oh stand, stand by me."

Lena clung to her friend as Issy began to sing. The sound of Issy singing had her crying harder, because she could hear the way her friend's voice broke. She found herself humming along lightly. It was a song she knew, but had never imagined to hear out of her friend's mouth, particularly not directed at her. Something about Issy singing it to her made it take on a whole different meaning. It hurt in a way she never wanted to hurt. It was a form of emotional pain she didn't want to deal with, but she had to because this was reality. She had caused herself so much pain but never imagined that it could hurt her friends and family. That it would get that bad.

Isabella pressed a kiss against her head once she finished singing and just held Lena more. She wanted her to know that she could count her and she was going to be there for her. "Do you want me to hold you tonight?" She asked softly as she felt her phone vibrate and ignored it.

Lena was quiet for a bit, doing the best she could to regain what was left of her composure. It took a bit, but she managed to pull herself away from Issy. "Yeah, but I'll let you know when I'm ready to sleep. Take care of whoever wants you, I probably need to text Q back... It's been a few hours." She sighed, picking her phone up off the table, thankful she hadn't gotten any additional texts from Quinn.

Isabella nodded when she heard the other girl and bit on her lower lip. "Okay...Yeah, text her back and I should text her." She replied as she picked up her phone and stood up carefully. "In the meantime, would you like something to drink?"

Lena sighed a bit sending off a few quick texts to her sister before standing. She pulled on her jacket, not really looking forward to sleeping with bare arms. "Uh, no, I'm good. I'll probably refill my water bottle, if I need anything." Lena then flopped down onto her bed, waiting for her phone to buzz again. Staring up at the ceiling, she couldn't imagine how she'd gotten to this point in her life, but fuck it, she was there. "You think the gossips at this school actually see something between Nat and I? Sorry... random thought is random..."

Isabella nodded as she listened to her, knowing that she didnt have any pair change on her at the moment and walked over towards her bed before she sat down. "Okay." She replied and raised an eyebrow when she heard Lena mentioning something Nat and her. "They might, no. No need to be sorry.. I like random thoughts."

Lena sighed propping herself up on her elbows, looking over at Issy. "I mean, if you take into consideration these are the same people who could see our sisters getting together... I don't know. Just a weird thought." She flopped back down. "I, occasionally, like random thoughts, but these are annoying to me. I don't stand a chance with her, even if I could sort out whatever the hell my brain is trying to tell me." Lena groaned a bit, picking up a pillow and covering her face, yelling in frustration. Why did her brain like doing this to her? This was a very stupid thought.

Isabella slowly nodded when she remembered what the gossip blog said about Quinn and Rachel getting together. "That's true and one of them has a huge crush on Christian." She added before she scratched her shoulder and shook her head with a soft smile. "You do stand a chance with her, Nat is a very beautiful girl and so are you." She frowned when she covered her face and yelled.

Lena removed the pillow from her face, raising her eyebrow before scoffing. "Me and Nat? Please. She's so far into Narnia I'm a little worried about her finding God." Her words weren't harsh, but a little sad. "Besides, even if she managed to admit to liking chicks, what chance, outside of my apparent appearance, which is debatable at best, does the twin sister of her ex-best friend actually stand? Seriously. She avoided me, at least in part, because of Q and I being identical. Not that I even know what it is I possibly feel. Cause fuck if I'm actually in tune with my own feelings."

Isabella nodded as she agreed and placed her chin on her knee. "Yeah, you and Nat. Nah, she's fine honesty." She said and hummed a bit. "You actually would stand a hella chance and so what? She gotten over it, by the way she talks to you." She looked at her and crossed her legs over each other. "Le....You don't have to figure out your feelings right away."

Lena sighed, rolling her eyes a bit. "You sure? Cause the amount of gay panic that I get off her is a little scary." It was the kind of fear Lena could read on a person, because she had become so well versed in feeling it, the kind that meant revealing your deepest secret. When it came to someone like Nat, it was similar to how she felt around her parents. While she could be wrong, something about the way Nat acted around her felt off, felt different. "Are you saying that as my friend, her friend, or some awkward combination of the two? Cause like..." Lena didn't really want Issy to tell her what she wanted to hear, mostly because she wasn't sure what that was, but also because she preferred honesty, at least in moments like this. "I mean, she says she has. Q says she has. Have no reason to believe otherwise, but still... I'm, me." Lena sat up, looking at Issy. "I don't want to have them in the first place. The complicate things. They confuse me because I don't want to like someone, like that, and have them think they like me but then find out what I do to myself and realize they don't. I can't deal with that."

Isabella "She's, having a hard time accepting it. That's what Im observing anyway." Isabella said as she laid on her side and propped her head up. "Im saying that as someone who is watching her two friends flirt and want them to be happy because you guys deserve to be happy. No more of this random hooking up on her end and no more hardass from you. Im not blind whenever you two are around each other. Hence why I wasn't upset about the beach thing." She pointed out and slowly nodded. "They do complicate things, but that's life..Believe me, I don't want them either but here I am. I have feelings." She frowned as she quickly moved to Lena's bed. "They will still like you,desipte of you hurting yourself Le...I know its scary to even think about that..But, if Nat knows, she will still like you."

Lena sighed. "I mean, I get it, and I certainly don't blame her." A laugh escaped her lips and she bit her bottom lip. "Hardass? Me? Noooo, never~" She teased, smirking a bit. "We're kindred spirits, not sure I'd call whatever it is we do flirting, but whatever." She shrugged, watching as Issy joined her. Her friend spoke the truth, whether she wanted to believe her or not. The fact was, no matter what she felt, she couldn't get rid of them, not easily anyway. "I'm not even in any kind of place where I could handle her finding out and I don't want that to be something that comes as some sort of shock or surprise. I- I can't let it be."

Isabella made an oh face and heard her laugh. "Its true, you act like you're a badass but underneath you're a teddy bear that certain people get to see." She smiled as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and shrugged a bit. She looked at Lena, sat next to her and wrapped her arms around the other girl. "I know love and nothing says you have to tell her. Baby steps are important to do especially if you're in no condition to tell her something like this."

Lena leaned into Issy, laughing a bit. "Well we can't all be teddy bears all the time, now can we?" She teased, poking Issy in the side gently. Listening to Issy, she sighed. This was not the conversation she'd been expecting to have with her friend, but i was better than the other alternative, so she accepted it. "I know, but..." She fell back, pulling Issy with her, in no mood to be sitting up. "Outside of maybe figuring out if she likes me back, I don't see what baby steps there are. This is the thing that I hinge basically everything on, it's my highest form of trust, Is. I base everything on trust."

Isabella shook her head with a smile. "Nope, we can't actually." She laughed a bit when Lena poked her a bit and let out a breath of relief when they laid down. "I know....So maybe until you can trust her, you don't have to tell her."

Lena sighed, moving to curl up on her side. "Only problem with that is that I haven't, technically, just told someone about this. I've been caught in a situation where I had to. Q had to patch up my arm. You walked in on me. It kind of makes me wonder if I'll ever feel ready, y'know?" Part of Lena knew she'd end up doing it, whether she truly knew how to or not, the rest of her wanted to think whatever she felt would go away and she wouldn't have to worry about it. Neither option seemed pleasant, but she couldn't pinpoint which one was worse.

Isabella listened to her and nodded. "Yeah, it kinda makes it hard to tell anyone and I promise I won't say anything." She wasn't her place to tell anyone and understood where Quinn was coming from the other day. She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought and remember an article on people getting tattoos on their self harm scars. "What if, when we get home, we'll go and get matching tattoos? I read somewhere some people get tattoos to cover up their scars."

Lena laughed a bit, the exhaustion slowly settling in. "I could use a thigh piece. Wouldn't dare my arms, but my thighs have seen their last flame. Not sure what we'd get, but maybe." She yawned, curling a bit further into herself, instinctively pulling her hoodie over her head. She was far too tired to keep up any real conversation and, at this point, she really didn't want to think. Something in the back of her head suggested the tattoo would be an excellent gateway to telling people but it was quickly drowned out by the exhaustion.

Isabella unwrapped her arm from around her and nodded. "Sweet. We can think about it and whatnot." She replied softly, gotten up and covered her up with her blanket. "Night Le."

#self harm tw #i: issy berry #p: issy berry #p: 001 #p: all #kidsissy

[crookedcrow5]

Flowers

“Looks like you'll haveta get that hand patched up, Captain,” Lena whistled as the both looked upon Fareeha's bloody knuckles.

Fareeha sighed and finished unwrapping both hands before flexing the one for a test. It was a bit sore, but she really had to think over whether or not it was worth it to see the doctor. She apparently took too long as Lena grabbed her good hand and pulled her along.

“L-lena, my legs are fine!”

“Oh I know that, love, but they weren't heading to her office!”

Fareeha hoped for a moment where she didn't regret accidentally telling her friends about her crush on the Swiss doctor. It was already awkward enough during examinations, she did not need them pushing her towards the doctor at every scratch.

“There you go, Cap!” Lena grinned and ran off as she deposited Fareeha right at the open door.

Inside, Angela was steadily typing away at her desk and glanced at the door before seemingly finishing a sentence. A quick nod at the computer and she stood with a warm smile on her face that immediately made Fareeha want to run head-first into a pole.

“Good afternoon Fareeha, how can I help you?” Not even waiting for a response, she looked her over before lifting the hand up. Her face scrunched up in focus, which Fareeha could only describe as cute. “Hmm, another training accident?”

“U-uh...yes.”

“Well it doesn't look too bad. Just some bandages and some disinfectants should do it fine.” Angela smiled once again and gestured towards the patient's seat before going to her kit. It wasn't pain that kept Fareeha from looking at the doctor as she wrapped the hand, but a sudden realization of how close they were. Frantically, she shifted her gaze around the room before pausing on a sight.

She never really noticed that Angela usually had flowers in her office until they were gone.

“There, that should heal up fast if you don't push it for a while,” Angela spoke up and knocked Fareeha out of her thoughts.

“Ah yes, th-thank you, doctor.” She stood and briefly bowed to her. “I'll leave you alone for now, you seemed quite busy.”

She left the office quickly, not noticing Angela watching her go. A thought had entered her mind and she clung onto it, determined to do it right.

Fareeha was going to get her new flowers.

But she couldn't place what ones Angela had before; she didn't even know if the doctor had a preference. That problem ate at her and, as much as she hated her friends egging her on, she did not want to mess it up.

“Lena… By chance did you know what Dr. Ziegler's favorite flower is?” She managed to catch the ex-pilot in the common room with a couple others and the look of pure delight that Lena flashed her made her regret asking.

“Aw, you're finally gonna make a move! Okay, so, you gotta go with roses. There's nothing more romantic than red roses!”

“Ain't that a bit cliché?” Jesse raised an eyebrow at the woman beside him.

“Well yeah, but it doesn't mean it's bad! The worst you can do is the whole 'trail of rose petals' thing because they get everywhere.” Lena huffed, blowing some of her hair from her face. “Emily and I are still finding them...”

Jesse rolled his eyes before sitting back.

“Try honeysuckle, they smell real nice.”

The two of them went back and forth on the matter, leaving Fareeha standing there with a faint idea of what to do.

“I would recommend an Orchid,” Hanzo spoke up from his seat as Fareeha walked out of the common room, feeling as if she had started something.

She sighed, knowing that everyone in the Watchpoint should know what she was doing in the morning. If none of them knew Angela's favorite, Fareeha would just have to find good enough flowers. But spending a lot of time online, finding various conflicting sources with each having different amounts of credibility, drained a lot out of her.

Luckily, by the time she was ready to hurl her computer out the window, someone knocked on her room's door. A very familiar knock that made Fareeha wince and quickly go to open it, knowing well that her mother would open it anyway if she didn't answer the first knock.

Despite that, Ana grinned at her and quickly made her business known.

“I heard you were searching for advice.”

Fareeha tried to repress the grimace edging its way onto her face and nodded, making Ana chuckle and pat her daughter's shoulder.

“Forget-me-nots.”

“H-huh…?”

“Get them now and they'll be a nice surprise for her. Good luck, Fareeha.” Ana's voice carried mirth before she turned on her heel and left without hearing any complaint.

-

Angela headed to her office on her normal morning autopilot, the only thing keeping her awake being the cup of black coffee she had in the kitchen before taking another with her. She took a deep breath of the aroma before halting in the door of the room.

She unfortunately had to toss out the flowers she had after neglecting them for far too long. Normally, her work took all of her attention and caring for anything else was just a distraction, but she had been growing sentimental lately and welcomed the distraction for a while. And yet, a new bundle of flowers, bright blue with yellow centers, sat perfectly well on a shelf.

Unknowingly, a smile stretched across her face as she placed her cup down and walked to the plant.

“How...peculiar.” Angela examined the flowers, noting that they seemed perfectly healthy. “Who would do this?”

She supposed that asking Athena for camera footage would be the easiest way to be sure, but looking closely at the flowers gave her a very good clue.

A card with a drawing of a plump bird at the bottom of text: “You send my heart soaring!”

@pharmercyappreciationweek

I looked up flower meanings online, but I have no clue if they’re right... If I need to change one, lemme know!

FF.net link

Ao3 link

#my writing #pharmercy #overwatch #pharah #overwatch mercy #angela ziegler #fareeha amari #fareeha x angela #rocket angel #seriously what even is the language of flowers #i spent hours looking up meanings and i have no clue still lol #ana is the ultimate wingman #lena tries #should i tag them? idk #pharmercy appreciation week

[thelifepartners]

Cheyenne Morse

Late Night Knife Fights  

Photo by Jo Naylor 

Lena was exhausted. Double shifts weren't unusual for her but she could tell they were getting harder for her these days. She was bleeding a little bit but that wasn't terribly unusual either. She hadn't been injured at work. She stepped in during a mugging a couple of blocks back. Just some young dumb kid with a knife.

He taken a slash at her, it hadn't cut deep, she was angrier that she was going to have to sew her work shirt. She was always bad with stitches, it never looked nice, and if it didn't look nice she wouldn't be able to wear it anymore. Her keys jangled loudly in the early morning hours. Lena froze when she saw her door. It was still shut tightly in its crooked frame but there was a smear of blood on the door jam. She stood still and listened trying to see if she could hear anything from beyond the door. It was too late to sneak up, she'd been tromping down the hall like an exhausted elephant and if they hadn't heard her they would have heard her keys.

She hesitated before going in, but only for a moment. She was going to have to go in eventually and there was no use putting it off, besides if someone was lying in wait to kill her they wouldn't have left blood everywhere. That meant someone in there might need help and they had either picked the lock or it was the only other person she had trusted a key to.

She swung the door in hard just in case there really was someone lurking in the dark. She didn't collide with anything. All the lights were still off but there was enough light filtering in through a crack in the blinds for her to see more blood on the floor. It lead down the hall way and into the bathroom. Lena rushed down the hall and pushed open the half closed bathroom door. She flicked the light on and cursed loudly.

A woman was in her tub, bleeding from multiple wounds. She was on her side, facing away from Lena. Her head resting on the lip of the tub. Dark hair covered her face. Lena still recognized her instantly. She dropped to her knees by the tub.

"June?"

"Oh hey sis," June said, she struggled to turn and look at Lena.

"Don't move," Lena said. "For fucks sake I thought you were dead for a second. What happened?"

"The usual."

"So you were being a dumbass and tried to take on more than you could handle."

"I've got no choice, now that I'm running solo." There was bitterness in the words but Lena ignored it. They had plenty of time to fight later if June didn't bleed to death. When her sister didn't rise to the barb June sighed. "It looks worse than it is." Lena was grabbing the first aid kit out from beneath the sink.

"You've been stabbed, that's a big deal."

"Only lightly stabbed."

"This is lightly stabbed," Lena said angrily gesturing to the bloody cut on her shoulder. "And you're giving me a lot of lip for someone who said they were never going to speak to me again." June scowled at her.

"And I thought you were done with this vigilante bullshit or were you just trying to ditch me?” June looked towards the wall, her chin jutting out angrily. “I wouldn't be here if I had anywhere else to go."

"I didn't go out looking for trouble.” Lena said, hotly. “It happened on the way home. Some scared little punk that ran off after I got one solid hit in. Wasn't even a fight, really." With a pained sound June rolled over and stretched out her legs to prop her up. Lena finally got a good look.

There was a shallow cut along her sister's shoulder, it looked like someone had taken a slice at her throat and she had dodged out of the way. Worry filled Lena’s belly like a sickness.  June also had a cut along the back of her arm and a slash in her side just above the hip. Lena pulled a pair of silver scissors out of the med kit.

"I'm gonna have to cut your shirt off."

"It’s ruined anyway," June said.

"Who did this to you?"

"Some of Morelli’s guys. They were off loading some major product. Don't worry, they aren't going to causing any more trouble.”

"Do I need to go do any clean up?" Lena didn’t look up from her careful cutting but her voice was tense.

"No, I wouldn’t want to trouble you more than I have already."

“I’m serious. I’ll go if I need to.”

“It’s. Handled.”

“Fine,” Lena said. Her scissors cutting through the remains of her sister shirt with an angry snip. “I’ve got to disinfect, do you want something to bite on?”

“Do I look like I’m twelve?”

“I take it that’s a no,” Lena said. Her sister opened her mouth to say something angry but it became a shout of pain as her sister poured disinfectant over her hip. June snapped her teeth together to cut off the sound she was making. She looked daggers at her sister but didn’t cry out again when Lena moved on to the next cut.

There was quiet between the two women for the next few minutes as Lena threaded a needle and started to work. June sighed.

“I forgot how bad your stiches were. You need to take a class or something.”

“You’re welcome to do it yourself if you’d prefer,” Lena replied. There was no heat in the words. This banter was more like how things used to be. “For some reason I never had the time to go to medical school.”

“You have plenty of time now,” June said a little bitterly. She turned her head to look at wall instead of her sister.

“You’re right, maybe the college has an annex class about bathroom surgery. Maybe I can get my dream back on track.” That got a little snort of laughter out of her sister. Followed quickly by a grimace of pain.

“I never wanted to leave you alone out there.” Lena said. She tied up the thread she was using and started a new one to go to work on June’s shoulder. “I just needed a break. I’m tired of barely making rent because I spent my weekend bleeding in a ditch instead of stocking electronics. I’m tired of dodging cops and gangsters alike. I wanted to sleep for more than three hours without waking up from bad dreams. Even the folks who work nine to five need a vacation and they just sit at desks and give each other anxiety.”

“I know. I know it’s been bad for a while but people need our help. Every minute we are resting someone is out there suffering.”

“That’s mom talking.”

“Well she wasn’t wrong.”

“She’s also dead.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s wrong.” June said. Lena sighed angrily.

“If helping as many as people as possible is the only goal then don’t you think taking a little time to keep yourself healthy is worth it? How many more people could she have saved if she’d been more careful? If she’d lived even one more year? Even six months?” Lena asked.

“People need help right now, not in six months.”

“One of those people is you,” Lena said. June made an angry huffing noise.

“When was the last time you ate? Not just some quick garbage from a gas station, something real?” June didn’t answer. “I know you haven’t really tried to get work after you got fired last time. Where are you sleeping now? A park bench somewhere?”

“I’ve been keeping eyes on Morelli’s guys. It’s important.”

“Oh, so you’re squatting in an abandoned warehouse somewhere. That’s so much better.”

“Mom-”

“She’s dead, June. We didn’t even find all of her body. Did that help anyone?”

“In this business you make enemies, that’s the way it is. And you better stop talking about mom like that. She gave everything for us, everything for this city.” June said. Lena paused what she was doing so she could look her sister in the eyes, needle pinched carefully between bloody fingers.

“Why does it have to always be everything? You say it like there is no in between. I stopped to help that women who was getting mugged. I’m not turning my face away from what’s in front of me. I don’t have to give up every moment of my waking life for me to be a good person, for me to make a difference.” Lena resumed making her stitches.

“I can’t just stop.” June’s voice was quiet. “Sometimes I wish I could. I get so tired but there is no resting. I can’t switch off the part of my brain that thinks about all the bad shit that’s happening. I feel more rested fist fighting flunkies then I do lying in bed trying to sleep.”

Lena finished her work and studied her sister. She set the needle aside and took hold of her sister’s hand.

“I have a proposition. Why don’t you stay here with me?” June raised her eyebrows. “I’ve got a spare room. I had thoughts of trying to have an office. It sounded like a grown up normal thing to do but I don’t know what people use them for. It’s yours if you want it.”

“I don’t know.”

“It doesn’t have to be forever. You can just stay the night or stay until your wounds heal. Sleep somewhere warmer than your hideout. You could even move in full time. Then I’d know if you were out too long and you needed someone to come looking for you.”

“I don’t need a babysitter,” June said.

“I know, but then even if I don’t go out fighting with you I could keep you in food and blankets. If you don’t want to look after yourself, let me do it. Then you have more energy to look after everyone else. I know I can’t do what you want me to do but I can do this.”

“I’m not making any promises,” June said.

“No promises necessary. If you want to stay the night you are welcome. I’d even insist but I know you’d do the opposite just to spite me.” The sisters chuckled together.

“One night,” June said.

“One night,” Lena agreed.

#thelifepartners #Cheyenne Morse #fiction #short story #vigilante #blood