#and then he is not normal at all

[beanghostprincess]

He loves me (He loves me not)

For @sanusoweek || Day 4: Hanahaki (pretend this was posted on time) (yes. I am again late) (again)

Relationship: Sanji/Usopp

Rating: General Audiences

Tags: Angst with a happy ending / Hanahaki Disease / Not actually unrequited love / Love confessions / Getting together / Codependency

Words: 11,043

Summary:

He will die. He will let the petals cover him whole and asphyxiate him. Because he loves Sanji and wants to keep doing so in secret without ruining what they have. Usopp is going to be brave for once and sacrifice everything he is and could be for him. To keep him closer a little longer. Because a life without Sanji is worse than any death. A life without Sanji is worthless. Devoid of color. Devoid of summer. When Usopp dies, he will be glad the one ending his life is the one who taught him to be brave in the first place. Or that is what Usopp would say if he was brave. And he isn’t. He doesn’t want to fucking die. Is he crazy?! Chopper stared at him with the saddest, most sorrowful look on his face when he told him the way to end this suffering, and he believed Usopp was going to give up his life to keep Sanji a bit longer. Turns out Usopp is still a coward and he has never been as romantic as he tries to seem in his tales. So he is going to confess. He is going to let Sanji hate him forever. And he is going to live. Because no matter what fate is ahead of him, somebody would have to be insane to think that is worse than dying.

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More of my works!!

#okay so i don't really like this trope but #but i am stubborn af #and bold of you to assume i am going to leave one day unwritten #'you are late' i don't care okay i have to go to work and do things irl #<- literally nobody is saying anything i am the only one complaining abt being late #i really like usopp saying 'nope this is dumb y'all are mentally ill and codependent with your partners i am NORMAL' #and then he is not normal at all #one piece #usopp #black leg sanji #sanuso #sanuso week

[xekstrin]

One of the most memorable interactions was Saturday. Into our booth strolls a small family, tempted by free samples of freshly brewed tea. We chatter and give them the spiel, that the tea is character merch and we’re a cozy health-based app called Forage Friends.

The young girl zeroes in on our pride pins.

“They have my pin!” She says excitedly. “They have my flag!”

The dad blinks. He is surprised, but also calm and positive when he sees it’s the lesbian flag. “Oh. That’s… different from what you told me.”

“That was months ago, dad.” And she rolls her eyes. Definitely a teenager.

I turn to him and say, “Yeah, dad.” And we share a little laugh about it.

He says, “No, it’s great. That’s amazing, honey. It was just news to me.”

“Well, I guess I just decided to stop lying to myself. About liking guys. Like right now.”

A little lesbian just came out to her dad and he was super cool about it.

I’m standing there in my tie-dye mask and my cheery blue apron pouring tea and making small talk and I’m trying really hard not to cry or compare it to my experience, the fire & brimstone, the disgust, the conditional acceptance as long as I never bring it up.

So as this beautiful bonding is going on, the girl’s even younger brother turns his gaze around. He’s in a snorlax hoodie and bored and wants to go look at the swords across the hall. But on the other side of our booth….

“WHY DO PEOPLE DRAW THAT?” He asks loudly, and we all turn to our neighboring booth.

Our neighbors were extremely lovely people. Every time we had a break we would talk, and we became good friends over the weekend. They kept apologizing that their booth was next to ours and we kept repeating that it was totally fine. Their booth was great. I even bought their merchandise.

The thing that was so contentious, that they felt the need to apologize for, was that they were selling explicit titty hentai stickers of popular characters. They were censored with little yellow R18 labels but the content was very clear.

So back to the family: I freeze and immediately go somewhere else to let dad handle this question. With adult customers I’ve been loud and positive about our neighbors. (“Man, how has it been boothing next to them?” It’s been great! They bring a lot of foot traffic and they’re kind and wonderful professional neighbors. If anything it’s a fun juxtaposition. We believe in artistic freedom. I bought a sticker too!)

But this is a kid, it’s not my place to explain anything…. But I was extremely curious about what this chill dad would say.

“Well,” dad says with a long measured silence between each word. “Sometimes people are horny.”

#IT WAS SO FUNNY #the kid was like GROSS #and dad was like its art :) #maybe one day you will feel that way too son #and he was like NO NEVER GROSS #and the dad was like you know what thats true :) not everyone feels that way #but maybe some day you will and you’ll see it’s totally fine and normal #A+ dad #dad of all time #dad champion #forage friends

[convexicalcrow]

come back skulk Cub my beloved come back

#hermitcraft #cubfan135 #skulk cub #he’s so Normal about skulk #this has given me so many fic ideas #tho idk if I have time to write them all

[tariah23]

The manga industry, especially JUMP, needs to hurry up and do away with weekly scheduling for mangaka. There needs to better regulations put into place for their health and safety because this is pitiful. Two weeks - monthly updates should’ve already been the standard for the manga industry at this point. These money grabbers will only continue to put the lives of these artists at stake for the sake of capitalism unless some serious changes are implemented.

#it’s just??? #at the end of the day all these people want to do is draw and write their stories and share them with the world #why is death from stress the end game for so many of them #this should not be part of the package when finally deciding that this is what you want to do with your life #rambling #I still never got over miura’s passing man #and Togashi is still here but he’s been suffering from the consequences of overwork #it’s just… all so bleak #fans just need to learn to be patient if these changes are ever made and to be respectful #your fav series is not gonna die just because you can’t get it right now #I’m glad that gege does this now like he takes a break every 2-3 chapters and that’s good #this should be normalized

[ineed-to-sleep]

Collection of bg3 sketches I've been nibbling at over the month. teehee

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanart #astarion #karlach #shadowheart #gale dekarios #tav #orin the red #bg3 tav #oc.nawen #I'm soooo normal about these characters like so so normal not obsessed w them at all #still upset u can't sleep w orin tho #you can sleep w mizora but not w her??? I've never been so heartbroken #ALSO I've had to reject gale after astarion confesses his feelings and oh my god #he looked at me with the hugest roundest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen #I still feel bad abt it tbh #the image of him looking at me like that. burned into my mind #sleepyscribble

[mearchy]

The best fics are the ones that recognize that although Luke Skywalker may APPEAR on the outside to be a normal friendly twink who happens to have cool powers, especially when contrasted with such ship partners as Boba or Din or even Han, he is arguably the scariest person alive in the galaxy around the prequel era. AND, crucially, he is also a fundamentally weird guy. This man was homeschooled on a rural farm his entire life and then apprenticed to a swamp gremlin who showed him how to tap into the cosmic power of the universe. He blew up the death star age 19, killing approx 2 million-ish Imperials. He is a vortex of Force power that can communicate with the ghosts of dead Jedi. He’s staring into the distance and mumbling to himself and doing Yoda aphorisms and casually pulling out the “yeah I could crush that guy into a paste with my mind (:” and nobody around him knows what to do with that. I think he is a character who has very little frame of reference for how a Jedi or a person in general is supposed to act and there is some thing about him that is by necessity really fucking weird and a little scary but he’s so nice that it can throw you off the scent a little bit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

#This can be played for comedic value eldritch horror BAMF moments and also just overall weirdness. #not even in a manic pixie dream boy way but just like. #a very unsettling guy… and you don’t know why… #but he also exudes enough light and friendliness that everyone overlooks it #and now HAN is used to this #and leia does not care #but boba fett is doing the 😧 #and i just think that’s funny. #all jedi should be weird but luke is weirder because he doesn’t even have any context for this shit. #like normal jedi learn to be normal from the temple environment #or from being around lots of normal people. #so he’s like everything kind of Off about the jedi distilled into one friendly blond surfer dude. #star wars #original trilogy #ot #star wars original trilogy #luke skywalker #bobaluke #dinluke #the mandalorian #boba fett #din djarin

[mismatchsocks]

#he speaks in riddles all the time #even after he stabbed will he was still speaking riddles JUST TALK NORMALLY #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram #nbc hannigram

[to-be-a-dreamer]

Tfw you realize you’re so predictable a winning bingo card was made about you in less than an hour and there was never a way for you to win the game because you ARE the game

Where’s that post where someone was saying Brennan was probably stressed out during the entirety of his scene in “Pencil’s Down” because he was ready for it to be an elaborate scheme targeting him specifically? Because I’m pretty sure that’s the same shirt he was wearing so there’s a non-zero chance those were filmed on the same day, which is why Brennan was probably already on-set/available on such short notice. And since the set is still intact, that means this was filmed immediately before his Pencils Down scene and it is absolutely reasonable to assume he was waiting for it to be another elaborate setup.

#like it’s definitely possible that he was called in and wore the same shirt because it’s all they had on hand for him #but it’s funnier to imagine he came off of getting psychologically tortured #only to immediately be put into a 100% normal #non-rigged episode of game changer #brennan lee mulligan #sam reich #game changer #dropout #dropout tv

[chloesimaginationthings]

None of the FNAF Mikes or Vanessas are normal,,

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #mike schmidt #fnaf vanessa #fnaf vanny #michael afton #fnaf #fnaf movie #sister location #security breach #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #straight up none of these dudes are normal in the slightest #especially the two Aftons #but the other two are no where near being normal people #Vanny literally has a virus rabbit in her brain #while mike may seem regular he’s literally abnormal to other regular people #they all got their funny quirks and crazy backstories #and that’s what makes them work as a friend group #when your group small bit wild 😤 #I’m gonna get all four of them therapy promise

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

#his amazement at our daughter eating spaghetti willingly #when apparently he's been suffering in silence over there his whole life #and i'm like ???? #and he's like ''you didn't make this spicy?'' #NO #NO I DID NOT #and he just blue screens for a minute #and i'm like YOU THINK SPAGHETTI IS SPICY??? #and he's all ''yeah that's why i prefer we don't have it very often'' #the absolute SHOCK i tell you #turns out he hates ketchup because it's spicy and he never understood why people wanted to dip fries in spicy sauce #i was like ''DUDE ketchup is supposed to be sweet and maybe a touch tangy but also cool and refreshing'' #and he's like ''SWEET?????'' #so uh yeah turns out dude's allergic to tomatoes and he just assumed everyone had a way higher spice tolerance than him #cuz he can find ''non spicy'' food too hot #and it's just all tomato based stuff and we never thought to connect the dots #mild salsa? too spicy. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #tacos? too spicy even at baby heat levels. IT'S THE TOMATOES. #prefers alfredo to marinara despite alfredo having objectively more pepper in it than marinara #he thought his spice tolerance was just so wimpy that my 'normal' was too spicy for him #so he's just been dealing with 1-3 meals a week being spicy to him our entire marriage WITHOUT SAYING A WORD #because he didn't want to offend me with his wimpy palate #IT'S THE TOMATOES #it's always been the gosh darn tomatoes

[oifaaa]

Fuck your insomniac Tim Drake head canons instead join my team and start pushing the idea that Tim actually has narcolepsy boy can't stop himself from falling asleep even if he wanted to

#dc #dc comics #batman #tim drake #further hc that he refuses to admit he has narcolepsy #“what do you mean steph everyone falls asleep on rollacosters thats normal im up all night”

[nerdpoe]

Jason ends up in a fight in some town called Amity Park. He's partnering up with the local hero called Phantom.

It's against some ghost called Skulker, and he and Phantom are hiding behind a building while they regroup and take a moment to catch their metaphorical breath.

"I don't see any civvies around. You?" Phantom whispers, head invisible as he looks around the corner.

"Guess it's just us dead tonight," Jason deadpans (hah), loading his gun and checking to make sure there's no damages that would impact his ability to fire it accurately.

Suddenly Phantom is there, looking intense and serious in a way he never was in that fight, glowing eyes staring through Jason.

Taking him in.

"No," Phantom sighs, leaning away from a very spooked Jason and going back to fiddling with a thermos. "You aren't dead. You're alive, undeniably and in a way most people aren't."

Before Jason can ask what the fuck that's supposed to mean, a laser blast almost catches him in the leg.

He shelved it; both his questions and the weird fuzzy feeling that felt like relief at someone else telling him he was alive.

It felt like a weird vindication, but he never got that feeling when anyone else tried to tell him he was alive.

He'd parse it later; there was an ass to kick.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #story prompt #phanfic #danny looked at jason's soul #saw the way it was twined with his body #burrowing into it and lacing itself through it in a desperate attempt to never leave again #the hunger to experience the world and all things in it normally only found in those for who its too late #and that's what he meant by “in a way most people aren't” #jason already knows that life is too short #he's always willing to experience the world in weird and sometimes offputting ways #he already died once without seeing most of the world #it's not gonna happen again #but yeah when the ghost king tells you that you aren't one of this subjects #ur soul tends to take it to heart more than ur brothers telling u that u aren't dead

[thebibliosphere]

I feel like I've complained about Tim's email situation in Gotham Knights before (edit: I have), but the truth of it is just so funny.

He's signed up for so many podcasts, video game streamers, and random news alerts; it's just a constant barrage of data going straight into his constantly whirring brain. Hell, he even floats the idea of the Batfamily having their own podcast as a way to correct misinformation about them (which Jason shoots down instantly), and it's made me realize something.

Timothy Drake would be a YouTuber.

In this universe specifically, Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir to Drake Industries and the foster son of the late Bruce Wayne would be a YouTuber.

Think about it. It'd be the perfect cover. Who would ever suspect that some 16-year-old nepo baby with a YouTube channel could ever be Red Robin? You'd have to be mad. I mean, look at him.

Red Robin just dropped out of literal thin air and garotted someone four times his size, and you expect anyone to believe that's the same kid who does 24-hour Minecraft charity streams and occasionally drops 6-hour video essays (his last one was on Lex Luthor's illegal bit mining operation on the moon)?

That kid?

You think that kid is Red Robin?

Ch'yah, okay, sure. And the Joker is funny 🤡.

#gotham knights game #I'm now incorporating this into all my Tim headcanons across the multiverse #twice a week as part of maintaining his Normal Teenager Identity #he streams random shit on YouTube/Twitch #he's got the full gamer set up in the background #LED lights around the ceiling and walls #rainbow keyboard/headset #mini fridge filled with Monster Energy Drinks #(other streamers have 'take a shot' prompts in chat. his audience has 'drink water before you die') #whenever he hosts a charity stream Bruce makes an appearance in chat via the official Wayne Enterprises account #and promises to match whatever they raise #and then hangs about for a bit to cheer Tim on #he's the epitome of 'are ya winning son?' meme #meanwhile off screen #Tim's keeping an eye on a seperate monitor #and helping Babs run remote ops #if his stream suddenly dies (which is does fairly often) he blames it on the Manor having shitty wifi #and that tracks #it's an old house #it's probably FILLED with lead and dead signal spots #in reality Tim killed the stream because Red Robin is needed #and no one will ever know

[azulhood]

Conversations between best friends has often led to some reckless/stupid/not thought out at all decisions. Like one conversation the amity park trio had where Danny said that he couldn't see Tucker as a doctor (the medical kind) to which Tucker responded with "Alright, bet." and enrolled in medical school. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Bruce Wayne and Tucker Foley somehow by coincidence *cough* clockwork* became friends. And stayed friends even after Bruce dropped out and Tucker went on to finish med school. It was a strange friendship that was mainly just Bruce calling Tucker from the weirdest locations and asking things "Out of curiosity, if an immortal nutjob wanted you to marry his daughter and become his heir what would you do? uh-huh, uh-huh, really? ok, thanks." and meeting up for coffee every now and then. It was during one of these coffee meet-ups that Bruce confessed that he wanted to adopt a recently orphaned child by the name of Richard. There was currently push back from people who didn't think 'Brucie Wayne' would be a good parent and from others who didn't want a random kid having a chance to inherit the Wayne fortune, the media was also having a field day. Everyone kept asking him to "reconsider" and doing everything they can to stall/stop the adoption process. Tucker, being the good friend he was, said "Don't worry, I got this" Stood up from the cafe table, walked to the nearest library and politely asked to use one of their computers, spent a good ten minutes on it, printed something out on the library's printer, walked back to the cafe where he left Bruce waiting. And finally, he handed over the paper with the words "Take this." and continued drinking his now cold coffee. Bruce was, understandably, confused. "What is-" "Trust me, it'll work." Tucker assured him. That is how Bruce Wayne adopted one Richard 'Dick' Grayson.

And after that, Bruce went to Tucker whenever he came across a kid that he wanted to adopt, which was often. It's one reason why Tucker will do everything in his power to make sure Danny and Bruce never meet for fear that the Gothamite might try to add the Halfa to the growing army of children. Aka

Tucker Foley is The Guy

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny phantom #danny fenton #batman #becoming a doctor out of spite #Tucker has a medical degree that's collecting dust while he tinkers with tech magic #He has a license and is legally allowed to practice medicine #He never does #Bruce is keeping an one on him because everyone knows all doctors go villain in gotham #Bruce: please don't become a mad scientist #Tucker with a basement filled with very dangerous tech: ...Have you met me? #I was thinking about Sam being the one going to med school #but she'd hate Brucie wayne #Bruce sometimes forgets to come at things from a normal POV so he go's to Tucker for advice #Tucker gives bad advice #Another late-night ramble

[kizzer55555]

The Vampire Aesthetic

Ok so Danny knows two billionaires personally and they really couldn’t be more different. Yet they had one thing in common. A vampire aesthetic. Sam is fully into goth. Spiderwebs, bats, the color black. She enjoys fangs and fake blood and the darkness of her soul. Meanwhile, Vlad is Vlad. If his name wasn’t enough, the dark clothing, pale skin, and flying around with a cape and fangs with coffins in his mansion really sells it.

Danny doesn’t know many rich people so he thinks this might be some kind of trend. (If Paulina is rich, her family likes the chupacabra) So he just thinks that all rich people have some kind of vampire thing going on.

Cue Danny somehow ending in the Wayne household. Maybe he was brought over as a friend of one of the bats, maybe rescued from a field trip/vacation gone wrong, maybe some other situation. But he is there in civilian form with civilian Waynes and Danny just takes a good long look around the inside of the mansion.

“So where’s the vampire aesthetic?

Everyone freezes.

Danny just starts looking around, checking behind paintings and feeling the walls for secret levers. Used to secret passages with Vlad and possibly Sam. The Fentons definitely had them when they were temporarily rich.

“Come on, I know you guys are hiding it.”

Cue the entire batfamily thinking that this is another Tim and that he is fully aware that these people are the batfamily. Danny hangs around the mansion more and the bats just start dropping their disguises and not even bothering to hide stuff around Danny because they assume he already knows. (Possibly even trying to recruit him to be a new bat) Meanwhile, Danny, who does not know these people are batman and his birds, just does not pick up on any of it.

He grew up in a health violation with a giant ballon observatory lab above his head and a portal to the afterlife in his basement. He is a half dead teenager who has tea with the god of time and his godfather is the other parent to his clone child. He’s used to death lazers being scattered across his home and mysterious stains on clothing.

People are weird! He doesn’t judge!

#Dpxdc #dcxdp #Kizzer55555 ideas #The Batfamily think Danny knows their secret. #For once Danny really is clueless and thinks they are just his new billionaire friends. #Blood stains? What bloodstains? That must be chili. #Danny: *knocks into Jason and accidentally pushes out bad ecto without realizing it* “oh sorry about that.” Jason: “are you God?” #Danny is obsessed with the animals. They are little BABIES! Damian approves this new interloper. Danny rides Batcow and has a ✨🤩✨ moment. #Danny introduces Damian to Cujo. No one else knows about Cujo. Damian will make SURE no one else knows about Cujo. #Cujo and Titan are best friends. #I know people think Duke’s ghost vision has him see Danny as something obviously not normal but I do you one better. #He cannot see or hear Danny at all. It takes him MONTHS before he realizes that the batfamily are talking to an additional presence. #And instead of thinking this is weird he thinks this is a new code they have developed and is trying to decipher it. #Duke watching Damian as he casually talks to the wall. Danny looking at Damian “why is he staring at us.” #Damian makes direct eye contact with Duke. “Training.” #Duke: WHAT DOES THAT MEEEAAANN?!?!? #There are ‘accidents’ like that one Time Danny was staying over and Jason was trying to sneak into the mansion. #Red hood (in full gear with guns bombs and glowing red eye googles) comes over at 1 am and crawls up the vent and opens it above Danny’s be #Danny: lying on the bed with his eyes wide awake and already staring at the ceiling as the vent above him opens. *waves* “Sup”. #Red Hood: …….“sup” (slooowwwly closes vent)

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''