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#and then i feel worse than i did before when i realise no one likes me for me irl and no one likes me based on not knowing me either 🙃🙃
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We can all agree that our little gremlin boy Lan has a big head, don't we? Like we love him, he's cute(hot af too), but boy was blessed with a big head 😅 so I just had the funniest scene of his wife complaining to him about his big head while drowned in hormones when she's pregnant with Tilly. Like really complaining, but laughing at the same time, and maybe his sisters or max and P are cackling while he tries not to laugh too much not to hurt her feelings,but they all end up having a laughing fit together 😆
Note: when I was a baby, my head was so big that I had to get a series of tests and scans to rule out any problems! In the doctor's words, fortunately, the only problem I would have was finding a hat that fits! So I relate to this very much - also, absolutely agree with all you've said!
Cw: reader is pregnant
The annual Norris family summer vacation was well underway by the time you decided which days you wanted to spend on the boat, Oliver and Savannah staying inside with the girls along with Adam and Cisca who decided they would make lunch for everyone.
"Do you know what I have just realised?", you spoke to Flo as you both watched Lando and Cisca's boyfriend jump into the water, "your brother has a massive head - like, it's really big, specially when you compare to Max's", you pointed to your husband's best friend.
That morning, you cried about the fact that your bikini dug on your hips only for Lando to tell you that you hadn't tired the sides properly and that you had more than enough room to accommodate your growing body, so right now this was a way better way to deal with the rush of hormones you were having.
"I think we all do, to be fair - Cisca has the smalled one I guess", Flo squinted as she looked at her sister who walked closer to you.
"Why are you looking at me like that?", Cisca wondered.
"I've just realised how big your brother's head is and how I'm probably going to be split apart when this little girl - little body but surely a big head - joins us", you rubbed your bump as tears formed in your eyes.
"Oh, Y/N, my friends have had babies with big heads and they're fine", Pietra offered, "they were just fine", she said before waving at Max so him and Lando could come to the rescue.
"I don't know why I'm crying, which makes this even worse - Goodness", you wiped your eyes and chuckled, "I can feel her head, it's about here from what I remember from the scans - and it's big, like, really big! How is that going to work?", you blurted.
"What's the matter? Is everything alright? Y/N, are you good? Is it Tilly?", Lando asked worriedly as he saw you break into a fit of giggles and seeing the girls fight their laughter a bit before joining.
"The matter is that you have a big head and Tilly's will also be big", you explained, "I'm not the tiniest person ever, so there's definitely room but can you imagine? I have to ask your mother how big your head was when you were born because I feel like I need to do prep work for it", you mused, "it's all natural until you decide to have a kid with the guy who has a big head".
"Oh, Y/N has gone dark", Max muttered, earning himself a swat on his forehead from Pietra, "what? Did I lie?", he hissed, containing his laughter.
"I'm not sure what you'd like me to do here, my love", Lando admitted, sitting next to you and attempting to squeeze your thigh lovingly, knowing the affectionate gesture could go both ways.
"Our baby is making me feel like I have the emotional and cognitive skills of a toddler", you mumbled as you cuddled your husband, supporting your bump with a pillow Flo got for you as you both layed down.
"It's okay, Y/N, I don't mind having to reason with you - we'll consider this practice for when we have our little one, okay beautiful?", Lando kissed your forehead.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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Your Orc tried to fool himself. You’d be back in a few weeks, there’s no point in dwelling on you. You’re not a stupid human woman by any means. And you’d been living with Orcs for the past few years, there’s no way you’re going down easily.
But that didn’t stop him from worrying. Your Orc would have gone with you, but due to it being a winter season, Orc hunts would have increased… And being caught travelling with a human woman would have put an even bigger target on his back than usual.
There was safety in numbers, so he had to stay with his camp.
He resolved to sit and wait by the entrance of his tent every morning and evening, watching Orcs leave and re-enter the camp with game and food. Your Orc hoped that you’d be in toe, following and chatting animatedly with other Orcs.
And every time, he was disappointed.
He neglected his duties in the camp, even after some encouragement from other Orcs around him… But when your Orc Boyfriend showed no intent to move, they started to worry for him.
The whole camp never realised how much of a detriment your separation would be to the Orc.
To distract your Orc Boyfriend, some of his closer Orcs cajoled him, “come on, let’s go hunting. The longer you sit there, the worse you’re going to feel. She’ll come back quicker if you busy yourself.” Said Kass – a hunting Orc.
“Yeah,” Crux agreed – another hunting Orc, Kass and him were never parted, even for a moment – “time always go by slowly if you’re waiting on it, c’mon!”
“I have to be here for when she gets back.” Your Orc huffed, crossing his arms.
The two rolled their eyes, “you haven’t done anything but sit there for weeks. Leaving the camp will be good for you, come on.”
After being poked and prodded by his two friends, your Orc begrudgingly agreed to go on a hunt with them.
Hunting was always harder in the winter. All the animals worth eating went into hibernation or hid simply because of how cold it was.
Luckily, your Orc and his others found prey rather easily. It felt good to blow off that anxious energy. Kass and Crux thought that your Orc Boyfriend had set a new record for catching wild animals in these icy conditions.
After a long day of trudging through snow, tying up the animals they had caught, your Orc and his friends returned back to the camp.
As they neared the camp, a familiar laugh pricked at your Orc Boyfriend’s ears. He stopped in his tracks, Kass and Crux stopping too.
“Is that…” Crux asked.
The laugh came again, louder this time.
And that was when your Orc knew. Dropping the dead carcasses, he took off into a run to the camp.
His friends shouted curses at him, but he didn’t care. His heart in his ears, blood thrumming through his veins, he charged through the camp and found you.
You stood in front of the clan Elders, handing them huge dried bundles of herbs, red nosed from the cold, but smiling. Alive and safe.
As much as your Orc wanted to sweep you into his arms, he couldn’t ignore the slight irritation that you had returned in his absence.
So, as quietly as he could, he crept up behind you. The Elders tried their best to ignore him as he got closer and closer. “The one time I leave camp,” he growled, bending down to the side of your head, “and you dare to come back so I can’t greet you!?”
Before you could turn to face your Orc Boyfriend, you were swept off your feet and pulled into a rib-cracking hug. Your Orc grinned as you let out a shout of surprise.
Throwing your arms around him, you squeezed him back. “I missed you so much!” You told him.
“He was miserable without you.” Your boyfriends company had come back into the camp, looking disgruntled. “I’ve never seen him looking like such a sad sap.” Kass snorted.
You rolled your eyes at them and kissed your Orc’s forehead, “aww, did you really miss me that much?”
Your Orc shot Crux and Kass a glare as they smirked, happy in their vengeance. But he grumbled, burying his head in your neck, “yeah.”
“Well I’m not going anywhere like that again.” You reassured. “That trip was a nightmare. And I’m sure the Elders have got enough of that herb to last a few years.”
Looking at the Elders, they nodded before turning back to return to their own tent. “C’mon, let’s catch up.” You said as your Orc put you down. “I want to tell you about the dragon who nearly ate me.”
“A dragon nearly did what?”
“Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction.”
Your Orc rolled his eyes as you laughed and went off to your shared tent. Smiling, your Orc Boyfriend followed behind you, happy that you had returned, safe and sound.
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yeostars · 1 day
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ᝰ.ᐟ꩜ Down bad, but at what cost?
ʬʬ yeostars 2024™
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•pairing- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ kang yeosang x y/n •genre- academic rivals to lovers.ᐟ angst.ᐟ fluff.ᐟ a few bits of slice of life here and there. •synopsis- kang yeosang. your sworn academic rival, your enemy, your nemesis. he's got everything: from outstanding looks, that smart sexy brain of his, and....a perfect personality. well, is it actually perfect? Yeosang, the perfect kang yeosang, who appears to be the politest, nicest, most well mannered gentleman on the outside....what does he hide behind that facade of his? And why does he only show his true colours to you, his sworn enemy? And why.... god forbid why, do you have to fall for him? you, y/n, not anything less than him; you're just as a perfect role model student and an academic topper like him. Together, you would make the perfect "power couple" a title the entire school has given to the both of you. But it's never supposed to be anything like that. You're not supposed to get involved with yeosang in such a way.... he's your rival, and that's it. To hell with this growing attraction towards your rival, but what if, just what if....yeosang feels the same towards you.. You're down bad for kang yeosang.....but at what cost? •warnings- mentions of family conflict, nothing more except for angst/conflicts in some parts. •author's note- I've alwaysss wanted to write a enemies/rivals to lovers story featuring yeosang aka my bias, and seems like I got hold of the perfect plot in mind for the same. To my fellow enemies to lovers enthusiasts and yeodongies, this one is for y'all. !! In one of the ending scenes, there's inspo taken from the English translation of the song lyrics "Kaise Hua" :) pls ignore the typos, i don't proofread and i just realised, while reviewing this fic after posting that i made quite a few typos at the end, sorry for thatt 😭😭 Notes, reblogs, comments, follows & shares are always immensely appreciated <3. Enjoy reading ❤️
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Amidst the soft rustling of the pages and the gentle hum of the ceiling fans, you peeked out of the nearby glass window, suddenly admiring how pretty the trees and clouds looked like. You could've sworn today was a good day indeed. You continued skimming through your mathematics textbook and grabbed your pen to note down a formula you had a hard time understanding the concept of.
And ofcourse, to make your day worse (or better, but you would never admit that) he had to step into the library. Just the perfect timing to get blessed by your presence, kang yeosang.
So much to ask for a normal, peaceful day..
You didn't even look up to see him, or perhaps even acknowledge his presence, when he sat opposite your direction, just a few chairs away. You didn't need to acknowledge his presence. It wasn't like he was your friend, that was your sworn enemy, your academic rival.
He quietly sat down, placing his designer school bag at a chair alongside the one where he was sitting, and placed a textbook on the table, flipping a few pages. Okay, maybe you were staring at him, but he didn't need to know that. You had the ability to stare at someone without them knowing that you were staring at them. That's what you've done all this time, to have a long, good, piercing stare at yeosang, and notice just everything about him. ... without him knowing that you're so interested in him and everything he does.
You didn't know why the tension in the room suddenly seemed...... intense. It was all good a few minutes ago, when you were peacefully studying alone. It's peaceful now, too, ofcourse. Yeosang was, by no means, a loud person. The only noise in the room was that of the ceiling fans, and the soft rustle of the book pages. Just like before.
But now, you were alone in the library halls with your rival. Nothing serious, right? You could get your studying done in a few and leave. No biggie. There was no need to get nervous around him.
But the problem was, that well, you did feel nervous around him. So nervous that your hands started sweating and your grip on the pen you were holding, tightened. And he-kang yeosang, probably doesn't give a single shit. Why would he? He's here to get studying done like you, too, nothing else.
You clicked your tongue, repeatedly clicking your pen without even realising it, as you continued to just stare at the formula you just noted down in your notebook.
Why was it so hard to understand this one? You tried to wrap your head around this formula for quite a few minutes, now, even after yeosang joined you in the library. And you still couldn't understand how to apply this formula in the sum you were supposed to solve. Saying that you were losing your mind right now was a understatement. Maybe you should've paid more attention during maths lecture, but even if you did, you knew that there was still a possibility that you would have a hard time with it.
Because, really, mathematics just wasn't your cup of tea.
"What could possibly be a subject that has you loosing your absolute shit, y/n?" You heard a voice, loud and clear, and you almost wished you didn't have the ability to hear.
Because you knew where this was going.
"Ah, ofcourse - it's mathematics. The only subject that my beloved rival can't beat me in." Yeosang said, chuckling softly.
You raised your head, now making direct eye contact him, and ofcourse, he had his usual smirk plastered on that perfect freaking face.
He looked.....just as perfect as always. You hated to admit it but yeosang was definitely the most good-looking guy you had ever seen in your life. A "literal greek god" "a living statue" were the names given to him by the entire school- and you couldn't disagree.
He raised an eyebrow as you realised that you were mindlessly staring at the collar of his shirt, and your cheeks immediately flushed, as you moved your gaze back to your books.
"S-shut up, yeosang." You replied. Those two words, "shut up" are probably the only words that you say to yeosang. And it has him smirking even wider, every time.
"Aw, c'mon, I bet you need my help with whatever sum you're stuck with, right there." He said, trying to get a better look at your notebook from where he was sitting. But it didn't help much because he was kinda far away from you.
He was correct, you did need his help. Kang yeosang, the straight A's student in every subject including mathematics, your weakest spot. You got A's in mathematics, too, but not always. The "B" grade on your result sheet alongside mathamatics was getting quite common in the past years, and it never failed to ruin you.
But you weren't going to take his help. No, never. You would walk a thousand miles at the doorstep of your cranky mathamatics professor and ask for his help, but asking Yeosang for helping you? Not possible. You both never asked the latter for any help in a subject before. If yeosang did help you in solving your doubt, it would definitely be the first time he's ever helped you. You would get to know how your rival grasps a particular concept and how he tutors someone.... and you were dying to know this.
"I AM struggling with a concept here, but I don't need your help. I'm sure I'll get it soon if I connect some dots." You replied, almost talking to yourself. Liar. This shitty formula was getting over your head and there was no way you'd understand it by yourself now.
Yeosang scowled, suddenly got up from his seat and walked towards you. Your heartbeat, your stupid heartbeat quickened, as he stood alongside where you were sitting, resting his hand against your textbook. After a quick glance at your books, he looked at you.
"Don't tell me you're struggling with THIS formula. It was literally just taught to us, like last week." He said, and the fact that he was so close to you right now, his words made even more impact. Stupid, stupid girl. He was right. You should'nt be struggling with a formula that was just recently taught to you.
Everyone has their own weaknesses, right? Maths was yours, obviously. But it was bitter to admit that in front of kang yeosang, the so called mathamatics genius.
"So what? If you're just gonna tease me on this, leave. I'll ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, he'll explain me better than you will." You replied coldly, a small pout forming on your lips, as you still stared at the books in front of you, not daring to look at yeosang.
"Well, good for you, I'm here instead. Perhaps i could waste a few minutes of mine teaching you this." He said, smirking yet again.
"I TOLD you I will ask Mr. Kim tomorrow, no thanks-"
"So are you stuck on how to use this formula in this sum or you didn't even get the basic understanding of this formula?" Yeosang asked, not even letting you finish your sentence, as he pulled out the chair alongside yours and sat besides you.
Well, you guess, you didn't really have a choice now.
"I just don't get how you apply this formula to a sum, like this example, stated right here...." You said, pointing towards a section in your textbook. Yeosang leaned in closer, listening to you carefully, and you could've sworn your heart was about to burst right then and there. He was leaning in to get a better look at your textbook and not leaning TOWARDS YOU, y/n. Get that inside your head.
"Hmm. Got it. So basically, you...." Yeosang started, and somehow, his voice was gentler as he started explaining the concept to you. It always baffled you how yeosang maintained his two-faced personality. Not in a negative way, really. But that was just one of the many things you noticed about him.
He always acted so polite, so gentle, so kind and appeared so well mannered with everyone. You never even saw him teasing someone playfully. He acted so unlike all the other rowdy boys in your school....It was like he somehow has some reputation to uphold.
And here, with you, the same kang yeosang that appeared as the kindest, most innocent soul- never missed an opportunity to tease you. The unending smirks plastered on his face on your every interaction with him, the unending banters on every possible topic, the unending teasing when you got even ONE mark less than him on a test, the unending playfulness whenever he was with you.
You don't even know when it all started, the fact that yeosang treated you differently. You weren't even sure if that was his true personality. You wanted to very badly, believe that it was. It had to be, right? Somehow it felt like he revealed his true colours to you, every time you guys shared a moment together.
"And that's how you do it. Common, solve a sum in front of me. I want to see if you understood what I just explained." He said, and you brought yourself back to reality. Oh, right. The freaking formula. So bossy, you thought. Why did you have to solve the sum in his presence? It wasn't like this was a test or that he was your tutor.
You complied, regardless, because well, he surely did help you for this one. You picked up your pen and started solving the sum according to that formula, all while yeosang had his gaze fixated on you solving the sum.
Fuck, if he's gonna stare at me like that, I might as well go to square one wherein i didn't understand a single thing.
You were nervous about making even a single mistake or appearing dumb in front of him. You continued solving, his explanation ringing in your head and voilà, you reached the conclusion. YOU SOLVED THE FREAKING SUM AND UNDERSTOOD THAT FORMULA!!!
You gaped at the notebook in front of you, not believing that you actually did it. You looked at yeosang and couldn't help but notice the small smile playing on his lips, almost as if he's proud.
"Thanks a lot....yeosang. That saved me lots of headaches, to be honest." He really was your lifesaver that day.
"Anytime. If rivals don't help each other, then who will?" He said, a genuine smile on his face. Witnessing that smile made your heart flutter. Damn, he looked good when he was genuinely smiling. He also looked hot when he's smirked every time. Fuck, he looked attractive all the time, and you should NOT be acknowledging or admitting that fact.
"Did you.....just replace friends with rivals in that phrase?" You said, laughing. You couldn't believe this man.
"Yeah, so what? We're rivals, after all, aren't we?" Yeosang replied, amused by the fact that he made you laugh.
"That's true. Think about it, this might be the very first time I've ever thanked you for something...you haven't really done something that's worth me thanking you." You said, and suddenly the air between the both of you felt.... lighter. Free of some sort of tension that was always there between the both of you. It was almost as if the both of you were friends, instead of rivals, having your casual banters..
"well, be grateful for that, i guess? You owe me one for today, by the way." He said, his tone a little manipulative. Well, here we're back to the original kang yeosang, you thought.
"Sure, if you need some sorta help regarding science, hit me up, although I doubt you that you will." You said, and immediately regretted the last words.
You basically admitted that you think he's a genius.
"And why do you think I won't need your help in science? That's the only subject that you're.....kinda....good at. And better than me, I guess." He admitted, sheepishly running his palms across the back of his neck.
"Yeah well, just because. If you do need some help with that though, don't hesitate to ask me, I'd be happy to teach my...rival. to return your favour, ofcourse." You said, closing all your books and packing then in your bag. Yeosang hummed at your words, getting up and returning to his original seat, as he tried to get back at what he was studying, not questioning the fact that you were already leaving.
You spared him one last glance as you exited the library, scrolling through your phone, totally not trying to think about how today's events with yeosang had your stomach swooning.
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Another boring day at school. Currently, it was the third lecture and the history professor was late.....yet again. As you spinned the pen on your hand mindlessly, you thought about what menu would be served at the cafeteria today. Yesterday, it was something you didn't quite like much. You kept manifesting in your mind that they serve your favourite, katsu curry today.
Your boredom and mindless spacing came to an halt as the class intercom cackled to life. The usual "mic check" continued for the first few seconds, and all the students of your class suddenly stopped what they were doing, only to listen to the announcement that was to be made.
You straightened up, and didn't really bother listening unless you heard your name being called out on the intercom speakers. your name. along with kang yeosang's name. the actual hell?!?!
"Dear students, attention please. This is urgent. Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately. I repeat, Choi Y/N and Kang Yeosang, kindly report to the main halls immediately."
You opened your eyes wide, and you almost didn't believe your ears and the announcement, until you saw all your classmates staring at you....and yeosang, curious gazes and gossips spreading everywhere. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, and cocked your head back to the seats behind to see yeosang, who seemed just as confused as you were.
He met your eyes, as you both shared a bewildered look together. As he rose from his seat, agonizingly slowly, you did the same, following him outside your classroom.
"Surely I didn't do anything that's worth getting detention? Have you, y/n?" Yeosang asked, as casually as possible. As if the fact that the both of them were called together, alone, to the main halls was nothing surprising to him.
And here, you were trying to catch your breath, thinking of all possibilities as to WHY you, along with yeosang- your academic rival of all people, were called together, an announcement that was heard by the entire school.
"Ofcourse i didn't. For your information, I'm a role model student, and didn't even receive a single scolding by any teachers in my entire life- let alone a detention." You huffed, cursing mentally at yeosang for even thinking of you doing something worth of getting detention.
"So am i, smartass. Well then, since we're both the goodie two shoes, WHAT possibly could've been so urgent that they called the both of us...together?" Yeosang asked, sparing you a quick glance as the both of you continued to walk side by side, on your way to the main hall.
"How in the world would i know? I'm just as clueless as you. Why would they even need the both of us at the same time?" You asked, shrugging. At the shrug, you kinda gave off the impression that you didn't like....all this. The fact that you were summoned along with your dear rival. But that wasn't true in the slightest. More than anything, you craved to be together with yeosang, you treasured each moment you were together, nowadays. Even though it wasn't often.
You tend to ignore asking yourself, why do you even feel this way. Perhaps since the both of you aren't really together all the time, except for insulting each other, your playful banters and teasing from time to time, you actually looked forward to just...being with him. Being in his presence. Him giving you attention. Even though it was literally just him teasing the hell outta you and giving you the cold shoulder sometimes (you did too).
Maybe, just maybe, yeosang felt the same- enjoying all the time you both spent together, even though it wasn't much. Why would he even tease you in the first place if he didn't? You remember, something your mum used to say during your childhood: the people who tease you, and pretend to hate you, actually like you, because they want your attention.
Oh, how badly you wanted to believe your mom's words.
"Are you getting inside the lift or...?" Yeosang said, pressing a button to widen the lift doors as they were just about to close. You snapped out of your overthinking, your overthinking about the fact that every single word you say or the action that you do- affects yeosang- kang yeosang in some way.
"Oh, shoot. Sorry." You said sheepishly, getting alongside Yeosang in the lift.
As you both reached the main hall, you were greeted by your school's vice principal and your homeroom teacher, almost as if waiting for the both of you to arrive. As you and yeosang bowed down to greet them, they exchanged quick glances with each other, and then led the both of you near the tables at the far away corner of the hall.
The vice principal sat down in one of the chairs, and your homeroom teacher stood alongside the both of you.
"So. I know this might seem surprising because we called the both of you together, but trust me, this isn't anything serious or negative. So stop with those nervous glances because you both are the best disciplined students of our grade, and you know it." Your homeroom teacher, Mr. Jung, assured the both of you, as relief spread through your veins. You could even feel yeosang sighing in relief besides you.
"Mr. Jung, why were the both of us called here, then...?" You asked, your tone inquisitive.
"I'll let you know the reason, students." Said your vice principal, Mrs. Park. All three of you shifted your attention and gazes towards her as she started speaking.
"As you both are already aware, our school has decided to redesign the uniforms for the entire school, ranging from all grades. And well, we got to have our first glance at the finalized, redesigned uniforms last week, and they look amazing. We decided to choose you, y/n, and yeosang, as the models for our new school uniform photoshoot. Basically, you both have to wear and promote the redesigned uniforms and pose together for a little shoot. That's it."
Your hands immediately cupped your mouth, and your eyes widened not believing that you were chosen as a MODEL for your school. ALONG with your rival.
Yeosang let out a soft chuckle, and you realised that he was laughing at your shocked expression.
"May I know why you chose the both of us as models....and not someone else?" Yeosang inquired, now appearing quite bewildered at the situation of being chosen as a model himself.
The both of us. Not just him. He really asked why they chose the both of you as models.
"Ah, well, I won't say that the fact that both of you are the top students not only on academics but also as general role model students didn't tempt me to choose the both of you, but what can I say... you both have extremely good looks. And good body proportions. That's why I thought that the the both of you were the most ideal students for the shoot." Mrs. Park said, a small, appreciative smile on her face.
You blushed immediately at her words. The fact that the VICE PRINCIPAL just admitted that you have extremely good looks and good body proportions... you felt like you were on cloud nine.
"Thank you, ma'am" The both of you said, yes, you actually said "thank you" at the same time with yeosang.
"The pleasure's all mine." She said.
"Well then, the shoot was actually going to take place tomorrow but the photographer checked in with us, and said that today was a ideal day to get the shoot done, as long the models are ready. What do you both think? We'll provide you with the new school uniforms so you can get changed into them and get some light makeup done." Mr. Jung said, quite enthusiastically. Your teacher, your teacher who is probably 35 years older than you, acted quite cute sometimes.
TODAY. PHOTOSHOOT. YEOSANG. WHAT??
As you tried to register the fact that the photoshoot was taking place TODAY, and the fact that you were chosen as a model with yeosang.....
"Also, don't worry about missing the lectures. Like, at all. We'll let all the teachers know that the both of you are occupied with this schedule today." Mr. Jung added, catching the slight expression of worry on your faces.
"Oh, okay. T-thats great. Thank you, Mr. Jung. I think I'm ready to get the shoot done today." You replied, mustering up all your courage. You weren't going to let this opportunity go to waste. Why would you, even? This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Hell, you couldn't even believe that there would be a photoshoot of you and yeosang together. Just the both of you. You felt like you were dreaming, for real.
After your response, yeosang also assured the both of them, saying that he was also ready for the shoot taking place today.
well, of course you are ready, kang yeosang. you wouldn't imagine any other response from him, like him saying no for the photoshoot with you. You had some pride of your own, and you'd protect it...
.
You stepped into the small makeup room backstage of the main hall, immediately walking towards the giant body mirror to check yourself and your new school uniform out. Damn, the new uniform sure did look better than the current uniform that you were wearing. It seemed like a levelled-up version of your school uniform; it consisted of a tailored navy blazer with gold patterns along the edges, adding an overall touch of elegance. Beneath the blazer, you wore a neat, ironed white collared shirt, and a navy blue skirt tucked the shirt perfectly. A notable feature was the gold emblem of your school icon, printed at the edge of your skirt and on the socks you were wearing. Your shiny black boots added a classic touch to your outfit. You looked quite sophisticated and youthful, the exact concept you were going for the photoshoot.
As you sat down on one of the chairs in front of a mirror, a lady, already waiting for your arrival in the room, asked you about which hairstyle you would like to get done. You requested her to do something neat yet mildly fancy, keeping your hair open. As she was working on your hair, the door opened wider, and Yeosang stepped in, looking..... even better than usual. Just when you thought this guy couldn't look any more attractive than he already is.....
You noticed that he was wearing a navy blue blazer just like yours, his crisp, white ironed shirt pleated and tucked in his perfectly ironed trousers. And of course, his hair was styled just right. like always. You hated to admit it but he looked more handsome than usual...
You noticed every single detail of his appearance in less than a few seconds. Hell, who would want their rival to know that they're checking them out?
After checking himself out in the mirror, his hand never left the pocket of his trousers, even as he sat down on a chair alongside yours. Arrogant as always, you thought. But he immediately removed that hand as another lady entered the room, asking Yeosang about his hairstyle. He looked so polite while explaining to her what exactly he wanted, you thought that he just wanted to piss you off half of the time. And then go back to his gentlemanly appearance when you both weren't alone. what a guy.
You were a little too bothered about the fact that yeosang was seated right besides you. and the fact that you were pretty close to each other. AND the fact that you both could see each other in the side mirror in front of you.
And guess what? You did. Just as you looked up in the mirror to check the progress of your hairstyle, you noticed that Yeosang was also checking himself out. His eyes met yours in the mirror, and you could have sworn he smirked a little as he checked you out for a second. You immediately looked away, but you could feel it in your bones, the fact that Yeosang didn't look away like you did. His gaze was burning, burning holes into your skin. You felt exposed in some manner. God, he was literally just staring at you and that made you loose your absolute shit.
Very soon, you both were done with your final look for the photoshoot. You were thankful that it didn't take any longer, or else you were just a shot away from calling in sick for the photoshoot. Yeosang staring at you was to be blamed for that.
As you both entered the room designated for your school uniform photoshoot, you stepped aside for a minute to call your mom and let her know about this precious opportunity. You were quite surprised when she said that she already knew that you were chosen for the photoshoot... even before than you came to know about it. She asked you to do well and pose some pretty poses with yeosang, and murmured a soft "hwaiting" as you thanked her and ended the call.
As you stepped into the middle of the room, where you were supposed to be seated alongside yeosang on the giant sofa and standing alongside him for the other. The photographer greeted the both of you and instructed a few poses. You carefully listened to his recommendations, and so did yeosang; adjusting his posture. This moment suddenly felt surreal to you. You tilted your head slightly and glanced at yeosang, and you would have never believed before if someone told you that you were gonna do a photoshoot together.
But here you were, the bright ceiling lights flashing over you, your beloved rival standing right beside you. You snapped out of your thoughts and gasped internally when yeosang shifted closer towards you. Well, it's not like he did that by his own will. The photographer insisted you shift closer to him, too, and you awkwardly did, and now your shoulders were brushing together. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, and you couldn't deny the effect it had on you. You glanced up at him for a second and realised how you were almost the same height as him. So, if he were to hug you from behind, his head would be touching yours. WHAT??? CHOI Y/N, SNAP OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW.
He stared right back at you, and it felt like the world around you had disappeared.... just the both of you in your own little bubble, exchanges of gazes filled with tension and lust and whatnot. As rivals, of course, you were competing in this aspect too- competing of who was going to look away first, because neither of you was backing down from this. The photographer let out a whistle and the both of you broke your eye contact, your gazes now directly at the camera. You could feel his flushed face besides yours...
The photoshoot progressed smoothly, and the photographer was quite pleased with the results. For the very last pose as the photo shoot came to an end, the photographer insisted that you place your elbow against Yeosang's shoulder, adding that it would make you look powerful. You hesitated for a second as you turned your head to look at Yeosang, staring at that gorgeous Adam's apple down his throat. Fuck, was he actually feeling nervous? Just like you? The arrogant, teasing, playful, confident Kang Yeosang that you knew, felt nervous around you for the first time....
You quickly placed your elbow against yeosang's shoulder, as he leaned down a little to support your movement, and you felt your heart beat impeccably faster. Then, both of you fixated your fierce and confident gazes towards the camera, as the bright flash passed your eyes and all the people present in the room started applauding, praising the both of you. That was when you realised, how you and Yeosang were the pride of your school, how you were chosen for this photoshoot together. How the entire school regarded you as the "power duo" or the "power couple", and how that never failed to get you blushing uncontrollably. You wondered how Yeosang felt about that, about al this. Did it affect him just as much as it did to you?
You caught your breath that seemed to be stuck in your throat, as you shifted away from Yeosang, a little breathless. It wasn't like you both had kissed, goddammit, that it has to affect every cell in your body when he was even an inch close to you.
You cracked your knuckles, meeting Yeosang's eyes yet again, as he passed you a small smile. Of course, the smile had to be replaced by a smirk in less than a second because he was with you, after all. He walked closer to you, extending his hand towards you.
"Good job today, rival. I hate to admit it, but i guess we both had quite the.... chemistry, during the photo shoot. Which is UNEXPECTED, since it's the both of us. But yeah, all this today was....nice. Hope we can tolerate each other just like this in the future."
You huffed, passing him the same smile he had flashed you earlier, and gently shook his hand. electricity. you felt yourself shiver internally as your hand touched his. You wanted to pull back but just for an extra second, you felt Yeosang not letting go. As he pulled back, though- your palm still lingered with his touch.
"Good job to you too, rival. I can't believe that we just spent almost an hour together, without not insulting or teasing each other. I guess, we got along well today, too." You teased. Yeosang let out a sarcastic laugh, as the both of you parted ways, an eventful day coming to an..end.
Your photoshoot today with Yeosang sure as hell was going to be imprinted in your mind, your body, and your soul. The atmosphere filled with tension, the never-ending shared glances towards each other filled with lust and dare you say, desire, marked a new chapter into whatever your relationship was. The universe was almost begging the both of you to acknowledge the attraction both of you had towards each other.
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Every day, Song Jia always had to be the one pushing your buttons. That girl, your best friend, ALWAYS had to make you more delusional than you already were. Half of the time, even though you knew you where physically attracted to yeosang (even you couldn't deny that) you felt like Jia helped you bring your fantasies come to life. For instance , she always left you alone whenever she saw yeosang making his way towards you- either for teasing you or insulting you, something like that. Your jaw almost fell open when you saw that girl run at the speed of light after passing you a smirk, telling you to go "shoot your shot"
And you didn't know if you wanted to thank her and hug her for that or kick her ass for that....
Like always, she had her arm linked around yours, the both of you staring at the photoshoot pictures with yeosang, that your homeroom teacher mailed you. You both were making your way to the music room, and that girl just would'nt stop hitting your arm with their other hand, grinning cheekily after literally gluing her eyes to your phone screen, observing every little detail.
"Damn y/n, this has the be the biggest shot you've ever shooted in your life.. You get what I mean, right? Can you even imagine that you'd have official photoshoots, with your dear rival that you're secretly head over heels for?!" She said, smirking a little.
"C'mon now, don't put it like that. I'm not head over heels for him. Just a little.... attracted, to him, I guess. Still not a fan of that arrogant ass of his, though." You huffed.
And she practically SQUEALED, no exaggeration, after seeing the very last photoshoot picture, your elbow resting on yeosang's shoulder, your gazes looking quite fierceful and confident towards the camera. You couldn't help but blush, smiling at how perfect that picture was.
"Attagirl!!! That's my y/n. Look at how you both are literally the POWER COUPLE of the school. Start dating already, you know." She said, and slapped her arm lightly, as she let out a fake "owww"
You were walking on the large staircase leading you to the fourth floor, where the music room was. You slipped your phone inside your skirt pocket, your arm still linked with Jia's.
As you were walking further downstairs, you spotted a familiar head ahead you. You could recognise that guy anywhere, no matter what angle of his was facing you.
Kang yeosang, holding up his phone, quite concentrated on whatever he was seeing on his phone screen, while making his way downstairs as well.
Suddenly, a red haired girl bumped into yeosang from behind. Quite a painful bump, you thought, but then you noticed that she was about to have an awful fall down the stairs if she didn't pull herself together.
Ofcourse, she didn't fall. Not really. How would she, when a gentleman in the form of yeosang, was there?
It was as if yeosang's reflexes clicked in, he immediately wrapped his strong arms around that redhead's back, steadying her and preventing her from falling. He didn't let go, his arms still on her shoulder as that girl turned behind to look at him, an apologetic and embarrassed look on her face.
And obviously, concern and worry had to be spread on your rivals face, as he seemed to be inquiring her if she was alright, his voice as polite and calm and sweet, a voice you would have never expected him to pull off if he was talking to you. And his arms were still on her shoulder. You glared at that arm so strongly, it was as if holes would have burned on his skin.
They seemed to be chatting for a good few minutes, passing smiles and chatting with each other. All this time, you seemed to be froze in your place, right while standing halfway through the stairs. And Jia, ofcourse, was still with you, glancing at you and biting her lips, passing you and apologetic look, knowing how witnessing this made you feel.
An obvious pang of jealousy coursed through your veins, as you witnessed the scene unfold after you. You glared at the both of them, not just yeosang, with such intensity, if someone would have looked at you, they would've thought you were gonna pick up a fight for sure.
What even was this feeling? Jealousy? Seriously, you never felt jealous of or for anyone in your life before....and you were obviously feeling jealous..for whom? Yeosang? Your rival? You narrowed your eyes down towards the floor and sighed, pulling Jia along with you, as you marched towards the music room.
During the entire music lecture, you couldn't concentrate on anything going on in the class. It was as if you were sorting your feelings out, and waves of embarrassment and confusion washed over you. You were a foolish, stupid girl. Say, what right did you even have, to feel jealous ? You weren't even dating yeosang or anything, hell, you were his sworn rival. Who feels this way towards their rival? No one. Only you.
To make things even worse, you were out here, imagining what it would be like if you were in that redheads place. What it would be like if it was you who was almost about to fall, and how your heart would've belated out of your chest, goosebumps forming on your skin when yeosang would have wrapped those strong arms around you, asking if you were okay in that sweet, polite voice.
Maybe, you wanted yeosang to treat you that way too. By no means, were you his close friend or anything, but sometimes you wished that he treated you that gently, too.
You wondered how it would be like to get THE kang yeosang worrying about you and giving you all his attention, passing you soft and gentle smiles of reassurance.
And yet, you knew this was never going to happen. Snap out of your thoughts, stupid girl.
The music lecture continued and ended in no time, as the bittersweet realization about your true feelings about yeosang washed over you, and how utterly foolish you were to fall so hard, so deep for your rival, out of all people.
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You remember the first time you found Kang Yeosang attractive. The first time you realised that you, y/n, found your sworn academic rival physically attractive. And also the first time you realised how utterly stupid you were, how you were going to regret all this because yeosang, on the other hand, probably didn't even give a shit about you except for the times he liked to push your buttons and piss you off.
It was during the inter-school debate competition that took place a few months ago. You and Yeosang had been chosen as partners, as a duo, as your school's representatives for the battle. That was actually the first time and the longest time you two had been together, in each other's company. You were not really panicking about being in yeosang's company at that time, because back then you weren't actually attracted to him like you were, in the present. More than anything, you were a little pissed, a little bothered, and quite nervous about having your rival as your partner. You knew you would have to get along with him during the competition and that if you exposed your stupidity for even a second or messed things up, Yeosang would sure as hell tease you and blame everything negative on you.
So, the trickiest part about the competition was that it was an on-the-spot debate battle. This meant that you could try and prepare all you wanted with your partner, but it wouldn't really be of any good because the topics were to be chosen on the spot, and you were supposed to give the fiercest debate against your opponent on the spot along with your partner. But you weren't really worrying about this much. Because both you and yeosang were the most stubborn people to exist on earth, with words so sharp and powerful, just like that of an accomplished lawyer. Once you both even opened your mouth to refute, your opponent would beg the judges to put an end to the debate and announce you both as the winners. And that's what had actually happened, but not exactly:
The debate had been going pretty well, you and yeosang actually tolerated each other for once and in fact, were working very well together. Every time you added a new point to the topic, Yeosang supported it with additions of his own and acted as your back support. You did the same for him, of course. Your opponents were flustered with how good both of you were and how powerful your arguments were, they almost gave up and you both could sense it, by the way their arguments became so weak at the end. Just when the both of you were going to win the final debate (you had already won the semi-finals with flying colors), something infuriating had to happen, that acted as a barrier to you both winning the final match.
The atmosphere shifted perceptibly as the principal of the opposing school was seen having a hushed, yet visibly intense, conversation with one of the judges. The judge's responses and reactions to you and yeosang appeared unusually reserved, suddenly cheering for the opposing team when they hadn't before, all this time. You and yeosang, of course, noticed this change and were equally confused.
As the final rebuttal concluded, you glanced at yeosang seated beside you, studying every feature and expression on his face at that moment: his jaw was clenched, a muscle ticking in his cheek as he practically glared every time the principal of the opposing team spoke with the judges. His eyes, which usually appeared all lively and soft and polite, were now narrowed into slits of sheer anger. His nostrils flared slightly and his lips narrowed into a thin line, both his hands turned into fists, supporting his chin as they rested on the table. As you caught this rare, unguarded display of emotion from your rival, an unexpected surge of attraction bubbled within you. This had to be the worst time possible for you to be feeling physically attracted to your rival, and of course, you were also very pissed off at the ongoing situation.
You just couldn't help but find him hot, during that time. You had never even batted an eye against yeosang before and here you were, deeply simping for the guy beside you. You wondered, how turned on you would be, if it was you that did something to piss yeosang off, and if he pinned you against the wall and kissed yo-
You could slap yourself in your face for such thoughts. The judges finally announced the results, favouring the opposing team and the audience suddenly felt pity for your team, passing murmurs in disbelief. Yeosang's face stiffened, as he turned to face you, his anger clearly visible. Throughout the debate, he had subtly steered the tougher questions towards himself, (even when he didn't need to) shielding you from the more aggressive tactics of your opponents. You felt your heart flutter at such moments, admiring and feeling gratitude towards yeosang despite him being your rival in reality.
You passed him a soft smile of reassurance, despite you feeling defeated and equally pissed inside.
"We know that we were the better team today, Yeosang. I know we should have won the finals. Well, nothing much we can do now, is it?" You said, your small smile turning into that of a self pity smile.
"I know. I-Its just not fair, y/n. I feel more angered rather than defeated right now- i don't want to give up, even if the results are announced." Yeosang replied, his expression returning to normal after chatting with you.
"I don't want to give up too, you know. If we decide to speak up right now, would anyone even believe us? And what if the judges actually found Sarah and Kyungsoo's debate better than ours? We can't be sure about that." You said, sighing deeply. Yeosang sighed along with you, looking as if the storm within him hadn't resolved.
Yet, he chose to do whatever you were willing to do: which was, just accepting the results. You both had won second place anyway, and you were satisfied with that. You both didn't really talk about the debate competition after that day. But you both had let each other know, that day, that you were proud of yourselves and each other for doing your best in that debate.
Something changed that day, about your relationship, your dynamics with Yeosang. It was after that day you noticed yeosang showing his true colors to you, the way he clearly loosened up when he was with you, the way he playfully teased and insulted you, it was something he didn't do before. You like to think of that period as the one where you started getting closer to him, something beyond your mere rivals or enemies dynamic.
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The library was bathed with soft glow of the moonlight, air heavy with the scent of old books. Just as you tossed the keys from the drawer of the main table and put it in your pocket, you remembered that you weren't the only one present in the library at this time.
Instead of heading for the main door to leave, you chose to head inside and obviously, caught sight of a man slumped up on the table, his hands folded, supporting his head as he slept or atleast, pretended to sleep.
It was none other than your rival, Yeosang. You've been noticing this since the past few days. Yeosang would stay late, at hours after 8 pm, into the library and just would'nt go home. Even today, you turned around and glanced at the huge clock and checked the time even on your smartwatch. 8.05 pm.
That was your cue to leave, after seeing the time and when the clock striked 8.00 pm because it was too late to stay outside home. And yeosang should also be heading home and do whatever he wanted to do at his home instead of the library. You were appointed as the co-manager of the library and had to lock the gates up as you left. You had figured that the librarian had possibly given yeosang and extra key to lock up and leave, since otherwise you were the only one who had access to the keys.
You were about to leave, but you weren't going to ignore this today. You approached yeosang cautiously.
"Yeosang." You called out, your voice firm.
He didn't wake up to acknowledge you. You called out again, this time mentioning his full name.
"Kang Yeosang." You said, your voice now louder and firmer.
Yeosang looked up at you now, exhaustion etched into his features. You could tell that he wasn't really sleeping but well, wanted to sleep.
"What?" He asked, maintaining eye contact with you, looking at you as if you had disturbed his precious quality sleep.
"What are you still doing here? It's pretty late. Head home or something, dude." You said, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"None of your business, y/n. I'll go when I want to." He deadpanned, his posture still a little bent as if he was going back to sleep on the desk yet again and waiting for you to leave.
"It is my business, actually. Look- I'm not trying to sound worried or something, but I've noticed since the past 3 days you're staying at such ungodly hours at the library and won't head home, when you're supposed to. If you didn't already know, I'm the co-manager of this library and have to lock the gates up. And for that, I need you to leave." You said, folding your arms, waiting for his next rebuttal.
"Don't worry about all that. I- the librarian gave me an extra set of keys so I'll lock the gates and everything carefully before I leave. You're free to go home." He said, his expression quite flustered now, upon hearing that you've been noticing his peculiar behaviour since the past few days.
"And what excuse did you give to the librarian? I bet she questioned you for asking for those extra set of keys." You inquired, leaning against one of the book shelves now, still maintaing eye contact with yeosang across the room.
"Uhh, I just told her that there's some...distraction at my house. Like, a really loud atmosphere that's not ideal for me to study." He said, despite knowing that you weren't buying this shit and straightened his position, sitting properly on his chair.
"Seriously, Yeosang? Do you mind telling me why are you even staying so late here? Did you parents disown you or kick you out, something?" You asked, letting out a laugh in disbelief.
"....which i suspect isn't true, because of course, you're the star of your family, your parents only child that can do no wrong and is their only pride." You continued, after noticing that Yeosang didn't reply just yet.
He let out a deep sigh, breaking eye contact with you. "Listen, why do you even care? Are you up for listening to my pity party story?" Yeosang said, staring outside the window.
"Why do I care? I don't know, I just thought we were atleast friends now? And ofcourse, I'm up for listening to you, I'm kinda bored anyways." You replied, still staring at him.
Just before yeosang could open his mouth to say something, you dashed to where he was, and pulled up a chair right besides him and sat there. It wasn't too close to him, but just close enough to listen properly to him, indicating that you genuinely wanted to hear him out.
"Well, I don't know where to start." He said, facing you. You stared right into those deep brown eyes, almost like pools of warm melted chocolate, glistening under the faint moonlight coming from the windows. Of course, his long, dark lashes above those mesmerizing orbs were even prettier, drawing you impossibly closer to him. Every time he opened his mouth to spoke, you noticed every feature of his face and were astonished every time: his well defined jawline, those high cheekbones, straight nose, those sharp collarbones revealed just slightly from his plain white shirt, and that perfectly symmetrical face.
It was unfair to be this freaking handsome, you thought. Yeosang would be flourishing if he decided to be a model. What was even lacking in this guy? Perfect body proportions, perfect face, perfect personality, perfect grades, and that smart sexy brain of his. And this perfect guy aka your rival was talking with you right now. Insane, you thought.
"Just, start anywhere. I'm willing to listen, you know." You assured him.
"For the main idea, it's my parents. Just some major issues with them." He said, sighing once again.
"What kind of issues?" You asked, your eyes now softening. It felt like he was opening to you and you wanted him to feel as comfortable as possible.
"They just, you know, want and expect and force me to become a doctor. Follow their footsteps. And it's clearly not what I want." Yeosang said, sounding frustrated.
You understood how frustrating this must be. By the next year, you both being the name age, were supposed to choose your majors and study accordingly to pursue your degree. And ofcourse this decision is crucial because it will determine you career. And if yeosang is having issues regarding this with his parents... it's pretty serious.
"They clearly know that's not what I want and still choose to push my buttons. I want to be a mathematician. My undying love for maths, just, even you know it, don't you, y/n?" He continued, locking his eyes with yours.
"Ah, definitely. I know better than anyone how much you love Math. And all this time, while i was curious as to which career you would choose, i definitely thought it's something related to maths. It had to be." You said , passing him a small smile. He reciprocated your smile after hearing your words.
You continued to listen intently to Yeosang as he poured out his frustration in your conversation. You tried your best to relate with him and comfort him. There won't be any other chance where I'll get to listen to yeosang's concerns and comfort him, you thought, so I better make the most out of this.
"So, what now? I understand that you're still having disagreements with them on this topic, but I'm sure they're very worried about you staying so late outside, you know. You should head home earlier from today, and, i don't know, talk to them. Properly this time. You can't keep running away." You replied, hesitating to do what you were about to do next, but you did it anyways. You placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping it would comfort him. You felt like you had the right to do atleast that much, after how yeosang ranted about his family conflict to you and how you patiently listened to him.
You could feel yeosang stiffening a little under your touch for just a second, before he relaxed and held onto the same hand that was on his shoulder with his, rubbing soft circles on your hand.
You felt like your heart was about to burst, right now. Every cell of your body had to be so immensely affected whenever Kang Yeosang did something as subtle as holding your hand and rubbing circles on it.
"Thank you for today, y/n. Seriously. It felt so.... different from our usual encounters. You know, were either teasing or insulting each other half of the time. This was...great. I guess we can consider each other as frenemies now? We're still rivals though, mind you." He said, chuckling lightly. You felt your heart melt at that chuckle. This, is exactly what you wanted from him. You wanted him to soften up a little when he was with you.
You lightly let go of his hand still holding yours, or else you were sure you were going to melt right then and there. You passed him a small smile and were about to say something, but Yeosang interrupted you.
"Ah, and also, do you know that Wooyoung and Jia are apparently dating now?" He said, looking at you.
You suddenly froze at his words. WHAT THE HELL????
"WHAT??? I mean, how, when? I knew Jia had a crush on Wooyoung since like forever and she told me all about it. I had NO IDEA that they were dating, though. And she DIDN'T TELL ME. Since when are they dating?" You asked, looking quite pissed. You couldn't believe that you were hearing about your best friend dating for the first time from your rival instead of her.
"Uhm, like since a week, maybe? Why do you sound so surprised tho? I thought you already knew, didn't Jia tell you?" Yeosang said, trying to hold back his laughter at your pissed face.
"No, she didn't. I am going to end her for that. And let me guess, Wooyoung already told you?" You asked. Wooyoung was Yeosang's best friend. They were always seen together and were really close.
"Yeah, he did. Pretty ironic, isn't it? Both our best friends are dating each other." Yeosang said, finding this situation pretty amusing. You did, too, to be honest.
"I know, right. The next time we all hang out together, we're gonna be third wheeling the both of them and that's gonna suck big time." You replied, sighing, but feeling happy for your best friend at the same time.
"No kidding. I'm gonna smack wooyoung in the face if they do anything cringe in front of me." He said, and the both of you laughed together.
"Anyways. Get home before 9 atleast, will you? I'm heading home now, it's pretty late." You announced, getting a hold of your bag in the chair alongside you.
"I will. And sorry for stalling you for so long. Are you sure you'll be home safe? I can drop you home, if you'd like." Yeosang said, concern etched in his voice.
"No, it's fine. I live near the block anyways. And I have a feeling you want to sort some things out. I'll be going then, bye." You said , passing him a small wave. He waved back, watching you leave.
.
It was so immensely surprising, even to yourself, when you think about all your interactions with yeosang nowadays. He's supposed to be your rival, which of course he still is, but it doesn't seem much like it nowadays. It's almost like you two are friends, seriously. And the thought scares you. It kinda scares you that you two are becoming friends now. You're afraid that all the times he's bothered you, teased you, playfully insulted you, would soon come to an end....it probably won't, right? And you don't want yeosang to treat you how he treats others: so soft, so polite, so calm, so well mannered, just, so perfect. Except for wooyoung, ofcourse: he's almost always kicking him and what not. You didn't like to admit this, but you liked with how your dynamics as supposed "rivals" was like.
You would never give up on the look on his face, when you flashed your paper wherein you got even a mark higher than him on a test. Or the times he'd insult your studying skills. Or the times when you would bother each other for every little thing. It was like, you had no one else to share such a relationship with, and although you would have to face your feelings very soon and admit that you like your rival in a romantic way, you still don't want your unique and playful banters to end.
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Just as you were about to turn your phone off and go to sleep, a notification at the top of your screen bar distracted you. And it's from Jia, of course.
Before you could even confront Jia about her dating wooyoung, she herself texted you that day itself (when yeosang told you about the news at the library) and even video called you for the same, your ears almost tearing up with her excited squeals and screams every time she talked about wooyoung. But you were happy for her. Immensely happy for your best friend. You hoped wooyoung would keep her happy and that their relationship lasts long. At the same time, you kept dreaming about how wonderful it would be like, if you got into a relationship.
But you knew you weren't getting into a relationship any soon. You didn't even have a crush on anyone at the present.....oh wait, that's a lie.
How were you even supposed to date someone, when the beloved kang yeosang existed? How were you supposed to push your romantic feelings for your rival, or even get over your crush on him in the mere future, and date someone else?
At this point, you just wished you could date him. No. Wait, what?
You sighed and clicked on the notification of Jia's messages and opened her chat.
Jia😈🤍
Yo, are you free tomorrow? Since it's the weekend, anyways
You
Mhm, yes, i think. Why do u ask tho? Shouldn't u be spending the weekends with your precious boyfriend, now that u have one 💀
Jia😈🤍
C'mon, don't be salty now, y/n. You know I can never forget about you even if I have a bf now. So, I was thinking, you wanna go on a movie date w me tomorrow? Woo will be there too, ofc ;)
You
And be third-wheeling the entire time w the both of u? No way in hell, Jia. U go spend your romantic movie date with wooyoung alone, i won't be mad, promise
Jia😈🤍
I knew you would say that. So well listen up, here's the deal. Yeosang will be joining us too tomorrow;))
You froze for a second and your phone almost dropped from your hands onto your face.
You
What the hell??!! Are you being srs?? Why would u even invite yeosang tho-
Jia😈🤍
You have absolutely no idea how much convincing it took wooyoung to get yeosang come along with him tomorrow. So you better say yes too, y/n. Your lover boy slash rival will be there too, tomorrow's gonna be loads of funnnnn
You almost wished to kick her across the screen for mentioning yeosang as your "lover boy."
You
Okay, but uh, does yeosang know that I'm coming too, tomorrow? I don't think he would have said yes if he knew I'm coming....
Jia😈🤍
He does. He knows ur coming and still agreed to the date. Wooyoung will do anything for me, even as far as convincing THE yeosang to agree to come to a hang out session w his rival. You know, part of me thinks that he willingly wants to be near you, bc why else would he say yes?
You took in a deep breath and processed all this.
You
I'm.....not too sure abt that. What time tomorrow and which cinema?
Jia 😈🤍
I see someone's excited, huh. I'll text you all the details tomorrow. For now, just sleep, and dream about your rival lover boy, nighttttt y/nnieeee
You
Gosh, shut up, Jia. And goodnight to you too, dream about wooyoung, loser
You put your phone on your bedside table and blankly stared at the ceiling, not believing that you were about to go on a movie date with yeosang, tomorrow.
Song Jia had to be the craziest person you've ever known. You couldn't believe that she went as far as successfully inviting Yeosang to the movie date tomorrow, yeosang knowing that you, his arch nemesis would be there. You knew Jia purposefully invited him so that something could possibly "change" into your relationship, perhaps either one of you making a move to confess, or something like that.
But you knew that wasn't true. Yeosang clearly wasn't interested in you in THAT way and you had to try your best to get over him. Tomorrow was going to be a very normal movie date with your friends.....and rival, now tour frenemy, which you would try to tolerate as much as you could.
You closed your eyes and finally slept, quite excited for what tomorrow was about to bring.
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You stood in front of your open closet, your expression thoughtful as you scanned the rows of outfits hanging neatly inside. As the thought of yeosang being there at the movie date later struck you, you suddenly felt self-conscious. You were a confident person but all that confidence sometimes melted away in front of your rival. You wanted to look just right today, in front of him, maybe even impress him with your outfit today. While considering all these factors, you decided to drop your usual jeans-and-tee combo and instead, picked up a soft, pastel pink dress: with floral patterns at the edges, that seemed to hug your curves perfectly, A dark blue denim jacket would compliment this perfectly, you thought, as you picked up the jacket too, and closed your closet.
As you were adding some final touches to your light and subtle makeup, which would be ideal for a movie date- you picked up your favourite gold hoop earrings from a nearby drawer and wore them, checking yourself out in the mirror with your entire outfit, including your white canvas sneakers. You felt confident and beautiful, and hey, a girlish look doesn't look bad sometimes. Your outfit today bought out the feminism in you, and you hoped Yeosang's eyes wouldn't leave you or your outfit today.
Unusual excitement bubbled up inside you as you closed the door of your room, hiring a taxi from an app on your phone. The taxi arrived in no time and there you were, stepping inside the grand cinemas, right on time.
You texted Jia to let her know that you were already here. Jia would be arriving alone, just like you, whereas Wooyoung and Yeosang would be arriving together since they shared a cab.
You unconsciously tapped your foot as you scanned the cinema's ambience around you, focusing on the movie posters, You had no idea which movie you were about to watch but knowing Jia, she would have definitely picked a rom-com movie since she's a die-hard romance fanatic, after all.
After a few minutes, Jia joined you, looking just as bubbly and excited as always. As the both of you chatted away, Jia complimented your outfit and makeup and you complimented hers too. You tilted your head and noticed two guys making their way towards the both of you in the bustling lobby. There they were, Yeosang and Wooyoung, looking just high-class as always. There was something about these two whenever they were together- they carried an air of confidence and power between them and were undoubtedly the most attractive and handsome men in the entire room.
You glanced briefly at yeosang, your jaw almost dropping as you scanned his outfit from head to toe: a black leather jacket that complimented his broad shoulders, a fitted white t-shirt that highlighted his toned physique, the fabric stretching just enough to hint the muscles beneath. And of course, his dark blue jeans complimented his long legs perfectly well, his black converse shoes adding an edgy, cool and expensive look. As he walked towards you, his hair was slightly tousled, his perfect lips drawn together as he smiled at something wooyoung said. Wooyoung was looking just as good as yeosang, but frankly, at the moment, you could NOT focus on anyone other than yeosang. He stole your breath and got your heart beating unbelievably fast every second he walked closer to you.
This was only the second time you ever saw Yeosang in casual clothes, you thought. Everyday you'd see him in the typical school uniform, but he just looked....so different in such a casual look. His outfit today radiated such a strong bad boy look it was insane. Who would have thought that the softest, politest Kang Yeosang liked wearing such daring clothes like a leather jacket, outside the school premises?
The moment these two stood in font of the both of you, Jia ran towards Wooyoung and engulfed him in a soul-crushing hug. You awkwardly stood there, trying your best to not stare at Yeosang, or at least, let him know that you were staring at him. But needless to say, he was already staring at you, scanning your outfit from head to toe just like you had for him, and you could swear you saw him smirking a little. You could feel every inch of your skin burning, burning holes into your skin, the parts where yeosang stared at you.
You finally made eye contact with him, because after all, you HAD to acknowledge him. He gave you a small smile, that wasn't a smirk for once, and you reciprocated the same. Then you both stared at the lovey-dovey couple beside you together, as wooyoung finally pulled back from Jia. You smiled at the sight of both of them, together, like the perfect couple. Wooyoung greeted you and began small talk with you, and all this time, Yeosang's gaze was deeply fixated on you, noticing every little change in your expression, and you didn't dare to look away from wooyoung while talking to him.
Since there was still almost half an hour left for the movie to start, Wooyoung and Jia announced that they were going around the cinema to take pictures together, and Yeosang shrugged, while you agreed, asking them to come back soon. Jia requested you to buy popcorn and a few cold drinks for all four of you, before she went, and passed you a small wink, and a knowing smile, and OF COURSE, she did, because you and yeosang were going to be alone together for the next few minutes. great.
"Uhm, so, Jia asked me to buy popcorn and cold drinks for all of us. Mind accompanying me?" You asked Yeosang, breaking the ice between the both of you just as you were alone.
"Mm, sure, lead the way." Yeosang replied, as casually as possible. You lead the way to the snacks counter as he walked beside you. Soon, you both were scanning the cafeteria menu, looking at the popcorn flavor options.
"Since it's the four of us, i think two or three popcorns would be enough, right?" You asked, squinting your eyes to read the price.
"Right. And i guess four cold drinks each for us, but which brand does everyone prefer?" He asked which cold drink brands were available, to the cashier, and since the both of you know your best friend's preferences, you ordered for the both of them, too.
After you both completed placing the orders, it was time for payment, and you shamelessly asked Yeosang to pay since you weren't really carrying much cash with you at the moment.
'Why me though? You can pay too, you know." He said just as shamelessly as you. While other people normally argued that they would be the ones paying, here the both of you were taunting each other to pay.
You continued to argue for two more minutes when yeosang finally gave in and offered to pay, That annoyed you a little and it felt like he won the fight somehow.
"Why agree to pay now, though? I'm embarrassed now, i want to pay." You childishly argued.
"I can't believe you sometimes, y/n. You were literally asking me to pay earlier, and now that i'm paying, you've got a problem again?" Yeosang huffed, looking a little pissed.
The cashier sensed that both of you were going to childishly argue with each other once again and interrupted your conversation.
"Sir, ma'am, sorry to interrupt, but we've got other customers in line too, you know. How about you split up the payment.....?" She offered and the both of you considered it, feeling foolish to not have thought about splitting up earlier.
"Ah, well. Since the total is around 12$ anyways, we can split up 6$ each." You said, and yeosang finally agreed with you, and just as the both of you were finishing up the payment, someone screamed right behind you in your ear which caused you to have a jumpscare and you flinched horribly, letting out a small scream. Jia and Wooyoung laughed like maniacs upon your reaction, and now Yeosang also looked at you in amazement and laughed as if you were a total sight right now. Your cheeks flushed furiously as you slapped Jia on the arm.
"Sorry, sorry. Let me and Wooyoung help you carry the popcorn. You both can carry the drinks. Our screen is the 5th one." Jia said, gathering the popcorn and handing some to Wooyoung. All four of you quietly made your way to the cinema hall, sitting at your booked seats.
And of course, your seat was just beside yeosang's. Jia sat on your right and yeosang on your left, whereas wooyoung sat beside Jia and a stranger. You almost held your breath as you settled in your seat, but immediately relaxed because of the comfortable and soft incliner cushion seat. Alas, you couldn't relax completely no matter how much you tried and nervousness bubbled up inside you, cuz you were seated right beside your rival slash crush slash the person whom you were so utterly attracted to, physically, and you almost started sweating because of him being in your presence. But you held all these stupid feelings in and focused on the large theatre screen for gods sake.
It was one of the finest rom-coms of the century. From the start itself, you adored the characters and found the storyline pretty interesting. Obviously, you couldn't help but glance at Yeosang secretly from time to time, and notice every little detail of his facial expression as he watched the movie. Ugh, that perfect freaking side profile of his, No matter what angle you saw this man, he was the most handsome guy you had ever seen in your life. That jawline could surely cut diamonds, you thought. God, how badly you wanted to ruffle those soft strands of tousled, black hair. You chose to focus on the movie instead. You glanced at Jia and noticed her and wooyoung's hands intertwined together. You wished it was you and Yeosang holding hands, too...
At some point, your and yeosang's fingers brushed together because both of you reached for the popcorn in the chair stand at the same time. You felt yourself blush so badly, that you were glad it was dark right now, or else Jia would have teased the hell out of you.
"I'm having this first, i reached for it first." Yeosang whispered lowly and it sent shivers down your spine because of how close he was to you, as he said this.
"Huh, no way. Let me have it first. How can you be so sure you reached for it first?" You argued, now lightly slapping yeosang's palm under yours. He let out a fake wince and tried grabbing some popcorn but you stopped him just in time, and there you were; the both of you fighting childishly like nursery school kids. This was your element, right now you were in your natural habitat with yeosang. This is what you both did every time, bantering about every little thing and you both never got tired of pissing each other off.
"God, shut up already, you both. Here, take our popcorn, Why does it even matter who reached for it first?" Jia said, quite annoyed.
"Really can't take the both of you anywhere. Always fighting like siblings." Wooyoung said, sighing, and passed their popcorn to Jia who passed it to you.
You lightly pinched Jia's arm after hearing wooyoung's words. "Tell your boyfriend to not call us siblings. Ew, who would even like to be siblings with this guy?" You whispered something only Jia was supposed to hear but unfortunately yeosang heard it, too.
"Just so you know, i would absolutely loathe to be your sibling too. The feeling's mutual." Yeosang said, huffing, and suddenly the movie in front of you was long forgotten. You passed him an annoying smirk and he did too, but the both of you calmed down soon, your attention back on the movie.
And suddenly, the both of you were laughing together at a comedy scene, and your eyes met yeosang's as you took in the sight of his carefree, almost adorable laughter. So this is what his laughter was like. To say that you liked observing such things about yeosang was an understatement. You loved knowing and collecting bits of information about this guy and unravelling every little inch of his personality.
Wooyoung and Jia stared at the both of you in unision as you and yeosang didn't break your eye contact for a few seconds. It seemed like you were searching for something, in his eyes. As you caught yeosang's gaze on your lips briefly for a second, you felt like passing ou. You broke the eye contact, the heat in your cheeks rising as you refocused on the screen in front of you. You couldn't bear to see him smirking after winning this battle of eye contact, yet again.
The movie ended after 2 hours, and you legit felt like these were the longest 2 hours of your life. As you both exited the cinema hall. all of you happily chatting about how good the storyline of the movie was, you suddenly became quiet for a few minutes, recollecting yeosang's brief glance at your lips back in the cinema hall. And you slowly stared up at the the same guy ahead of you, his dimples prominent as he chatted with wooyoung and jia. What if, just what if, one of you had made the first move, back then, and would have kissed? He was the one who stared at your lips first, after all.
But then again, that wasn't possible. Maybe it was just a coincidence, him staring at your lips. You were so normal about this. Totally normal. Yeosang didn't affect you in any way.
You caught up to them, and heard Jia saying something about how her relatives were about to visit her that night and how she needed to go home as soon as possible. Wooyoung, as her boyfriend, of course; offered to drop her home and soon, they waved the both of you goodbye, exiting the cinema together.
You and yeosang were alone, yet again, at the cinema, now.
You both walked out towards the exit together, the atmosphere painfully quiet between the both of you. Just as you were about to say something, Yeosang interrupted your words.
"So like, i bought my bike here. I can give you a ride home if you'd like... it's pretty late, anyways. Where did you say you lived again?" Yeosang inquired, standing right in front of you. His hair was messier than before now because of the wind, and your hands itched to straighten up his hair for him.
You had to be the stupidest person on earth to reject his current offer, yet you did. It was like a godsent opportunity was placed right in front of you and yet you rejected it like the coward you were. You were going to regret this badly, later.
"Uhh, i live just like, 20 minutes away from here. You don't have to drop me home, i wanted to walk home anyways. Thanks for the offer, though." You said weakly.
There was an obvious expression of disappointment on yeosang's face, but it lasted only for a second as he asked for a second time, if you were sure about walking home at this late hour. He looked like he wasn't ready to be rejected. like you would have obviously said yes to his offer. which you should have.
And here you were, all by yourself, after witnessing one of the hottest scenarios you've ever seen in your life: Kang Yeosang on his dashing red motorbike, his huge black helmet covering his head, him passing you a peace sign to show that he was finally leaving, and you waved him off, watching him disappear into the darkness of the streets ahead. The moment he started the gear of his bike and drove so impeccably fast, you realised that he wasn't just driving his bike but was also driving you insane.
You sighed and walked in the opposite direction of where Yeosang went, opening your phone to google maps. You had no freaking clue why you lied to Yeosang about your home being close to the cinema. It was apparently gonna take you 40 minutes to reach home, and just as you were walking halfway, you decided to call in a cab on the way home. You stood near the giant tree across the pavement, a hug car parked right ahead of you.
Suddenly, you felt a tug on your purse. A stranger dressed in all black appeared in front of you, and since your attention was on your phone, you reacted poorly. He attempted to snatch at your purse and before you could stop him, he already grabbed your purse and sprinted away in the darkness.
Your heart raced as you realized what had happened. Instinctively, you attempted to run after the thief, but stopped right in your tracks as you realized that he already ran too far away.
Just as panic threatened to set in, you heard a familiar voice nearby, almost growling.
"Hey, you f*cker!!! Stop right there!!!"
It was Yeosang, your unexpected shining night in armour. The way he shouted and almost growled towards the thief, for you, had you swooning over him.
Yeosang's leather jacket flapped behind him as he sprinted towards the fleeing thief, and he immediately tackled him towards the ground and successfully managed to grab your purse from his pant pockets. You watched the scenario in front of you in awe, just as you started wondering how on actual earth yeosang even came back here just in time. didn't he already leave like minutes ago? how did he even know that you were being pick pocketed??!!
"Who the hell even are you, dude?? That girl must be important to you, the way you got out of yo bike and ran so fast towards me." The thief said, and you felt like punching him on the face.
It was true, though. Why would yeosang act so fast, for you? It didn't mean anything, you managed to convince yourself. Even a random stranger would have helped you if they saw this scene unfold. It was people's duty to help each othe-
"Yeah, she's my girlfriend. You got any problem, bastard? And just how many people's pockets do you pickpocket everyday, like this?!" Yeosang shouted angrily without hesitation, not even passing you a single glance. You felt your blood run cold.
Girlfriend. Yeah, she's my girlfriend, you bastard.
The words rang again and again in your ears, not until you become unconscious of hearing them. Why would he, even...?
Hell, he could have called you his best friend for what its worth and that wouldn't affect you like this. Yet, he chose to introduce you as his girlfriend to a random thief whom he was now painfully punching in the face. You stared at him, completely still, and something told you he wasn't done beating that thief, as the thief skillfully flipped yeosang over and ran away for his life.
Yeosang grunted painfully, at the feeling of rocks hitting his back as he slowly took hold of himself and got up. That was when you wasted no time in rushing over to his side, placing an arm on his shoulder and wiping off the dust from his jacket with the other hand. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, your rival whom you had a crush on, fighting off a thief for you.
"Yeosang...how did you even? know i was in this situation? and weren't you already on your way home...? You asked, confusion etched in your voice and expression.
Yeosang looked up at you, agonizingly slowly, and handed you your purse, which you took very carefully, holding it close to your chest. He didn't say anything for almost a minute, but then he spoke up.
"Yeah, because apparently, you are so dumb that you can't even take care of yourself. If i wouldn't have been here, y/n, tell me, who the hell would have helped you??!!" Yeosang sounded angry, and that was probably the first time he ever raised his voice on you. You flinched slightly and the tone of his words and he noticed, his gaze immediately softening. "I'm sorry, i didn't mean to-"
"No, y-you're right. I really am the dumbest person on earth. I shouldn't have let down your offer of dropping me home..." You admitted, tears almost threatening to spill out of your eyes because you were so embarrassed.
"Oh yeah, about that. On my way home on the bike, i recalled when you once told me your address and realised that you live quite far away from here. And yet you lied to me about your home being 20 minutes away from here. Why?" Yeosang demanded some answers from you and he surely had the entire right of knowing why you lied to him.
"Yeosang, i.... i dont know. I probably just didn't want to bother you or something, at such late hours of night, you know..." You trailed off.
"You would not have bothered me in any way. Besides, your home is just on the way to mine by a few minutes..." Yeosang said, and then there was complete silence between the two of you for a few minutes. Something hung in the air, something that was left to be addressed. Oh right. Girlfriend. You desperately tried to ignore the blush that formed on your face as his words rung up in your ears, your mind, your body, your soul- once again.
You hesitated for a moment but managed to ask this, regardless.
"A-and, um, why did you tell that thief that i'm your girlfriend, earlier......? You asked, your voice almost breaking but you hoped that yeosang heard you, loud and clear.
"Ah, about that. Don't think about it much, you know. It just spilled out of my mouth, to uh, scare that thief away for good. To make some impact, you know?" Yeosang answered sheepishly, his hand awkwardly caressing the back of his head.
You could almost laugh right now, that's how ridiculous this situation was. "Don't think about it much" how can i not, for god's sake, kang yeosang, when that's the only thing i'm going to be focusing on for the rest of my life? "to make an impact" my ass.
You let out a small sigh and looked him right in the eyes. SO, all this really didn't mean anything to him. He just casually addressed you as his girlfriend to make an impact on the thief. great. you could be hit with a million rocks right now, and that would still hurt less than what you were feeling right now.
You realised that you were supposed to reply to him, because well, he already gave you his answer.
"An impact?? Sure. Whatever you say." You replied, sounding disinterested. Unbothered. The complete opposite of what you were feeling right now. Hell, you should audition for acting, the way you're able to conceal your true emotions so well.
"Well, i'm taking you home now, and i'm not hearing a single word of protest from you now." He announced, already dashing out to reach for his bike before you could even reply to him.
He returned in no time, placing his bike right in front of you both and hopping off on his bike, patting on the seat behind him, motioning for you to get on.
"What are you waiting for? Get on already." He said, sounding impatient. You really weren't left with any choice now. You hopped on the seat behind yeosang, and yeosang instructed to to hold on tight to him as he started. You hesitated for a second but gripped his shoulders a second later, feeling his strong shoulders and the expensive material of his leather jacket. You felt dizzy.
Just as yeosang started the engine, your heart almost beat out of your chest as you realised at the fast speed he was driving with. But you weren't really afraid of speed. not at all. Instead, it was the complete opposite; you felt alive, you felt exhilarated, you felt this sudden surge of freedom in your veins. You removed your hands from yeosang's shoulder and waved your hands in the air, freely, as yeosang tilted his head with his helmet on just for a second, smirking and grinning at how happy you were, right now.
Suddenly, a rock bumped the tyre of his bike, causing a huge drift as you hurriedly gripped yeosang's shoulder with so much force, you swore the jacket was dropping off his shoulders.
"Oh gosh, i'm sorry, that must have hurt-" You started as you noticed him stiffen a little at your sudden touch.
"No, you did the right thing. Make sure to always hold onto me with such force whenever such bumps occur. I need you to be as safe as possible." He replied, his words sounding muffled because of his helmet.
I need you to be as safe as possible.
God, what was his deal nowadays? Did he suddenly make it his mission to test you, today??!! You kept the same grip on his shoulders, humming in response to him, ignoring the fact that your heart was beating impeccably faster, the rest of your ride peacefully quiet, as you took in the chilly night air, the streetlamps, and the tall buildings around you.
This all felt like a dream. Here, huddled close with your rival slash crush on his bike, him offering you a ride home, you enjoying the chilly night with yeosang. if this really was a dream, you did not want to wake up from this dream.
maybe this was all that you've wanted, all this time. this was all you craved for. and now that you're getting dangerously closer to yeosang, how could you even spend a minute away from him? how could you not think about this perfect guy all the time, when he is all you've ever wanted?
Just as you reached your building, yeosang stopped the engine, got off his bike and removed his helmet. You did the same, an empty feeling lingering within you as you let go of your grip on his shoulder. you wanted to get impossibly closer to him, and yet, here you were: staring at the guy in awe, like he just won the olympics.
"well.....?" he started, smirking a little, taking in your impressed expression and waiting for some compliments.
"that was AWESOME, yeosang, even though i hate to admit it. You looked...really cool driving your bike. thank you for bringing me home in one piece." You said a little sarcastically.
"You're welcome. Well, get in already. It's pretty late and i need to go home soon." He said, smiling satisfactorily.
"Right. Um, goodnight. Get home safe and thank you again." You said, holding on tight to your purse and walking towards your complex, and just when you were far away from yeosang, you glanced at him and noticed that he was watching you leave, as if he wasn't planning to leave unless he saw you get completely inside your building gates.
that is something a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend, right......?
You waved lightly at him and he waved back, finally getting on his bike and you watched him, once again, trailing off in the darkness.
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Kang Yeosang........
why do i keep smiling, after meeting you these days? Why is my mood entirely different nowadays when you are around?
My eyes keep looking for you everywhere, even if it's unnecessary. how is this even me? i am supposed to be hating you. i am supposed to be happy if you leave me the hell alone. but i feel so...empty and sad instead. what spell and magic have you used on me? that i keep selfishly wanting you, more and more. i don't even know when this all happened. somehow, my heart beats impeccably faster, only for you. this started at one point and never ended,
how did you even become so important to me, yeosang?
you give my life it's meaning. i am still so utterly young and so are you. i don't know what i am saying at this point. but my growing feelings, my changed emotions towards you nowadays.....it's not a joke. not anymore. if i don't confess to you soon i might die. a rejection at this point would hurt less than bottling my feelings inside like a raging storm.
i want you. selfishly, dangerously, desperately, want you- all for myself.
who knew something would provoke me to actually confess to you...today?
.
It’s late afternoon; the sun casts long shadows through the hallway's tall windows, bathing the scene in a golden, wistful light. As students hurry to their next class, the locker doors clank and conversations blur into a continuous hum, creating a backdrop of ordinary high school life. but something isn't ordinary today, actually since a week- between you and yeosang.
it had been two weeks since the movie date happened, also the day wherein yeosang dropped you home on his bike, fought a thief for you and addressed you as his girlfriend. which was all a lie, of course. but you still can't get his words out of your mind, ever since that day. and it bothers you that something as heavy as that was so easy for him to lie about.
Talking about you and your activities these days- well, you were supposed to hand in a hefty chemistry project the next week, and one of your classmates, Jaehyun, was your partner was the same. Almost all your extra time after school gets occupied with working on your project with Jaehyun at your home. Everything was working smoothly and efficiently, Jaehyun was the best partner you could have ever asked for. You had known Jaehyun ever since the first year of high school and were good friends with him, but you both never really talked much, not until you were paired up together for the project.
And here you were- walking towards the familiar person towards his desk, chatting with him about what you were supposed to finish today. You could not even make your point straight sometimes, while conversing with him, because Jaehyun, being the jokester he is, would crack such horrendous jokes and wordplays every now and then, you couldn't help but burst out into laughter and beg him to stop. soon enough, though, he would concentrate on what you're saying and add suggestions of his own, because unfortunately, he knew the both of you needed to get those grades.
Somehow, even though Jaehyun made you laugh your lungs out for minutes straight, you still felt empty, still felt this unusual surge of sadness.
and of course, the only person responsible for that was kang yeosang.
over the past week, yeosang has been acting so unusual towards you. Your relationship, once filled with playful banter and unending teasing, now even him ranting to you about his family conflicts and the movie date events, had taken a sharp, unexplained turn, leaving you feeling confused and isolated. it would not have bothered you much if it happened once or twice, but it happened every day over the past week, including today. you felt like drowning in an ocean every single time he ignored you over the past week.
On Monday, you tried to indulge him in a joke during algebra class, but he barely cracked a smile at that, instead, he gave an uninterested shrug and turned away to talk to wooyoung, who was seated beside him. The laughter that followed, one that you weren't a part of, suddenly felt like a barrier between the both of you.
On Tuesday, when you were both seated in the library at the same time, just when you were about to reach out to him to start a normal conversation, he took hold of his bag and left- without sparing you a single glance or acknowledging you like he always did, at least with a smirk. You felt a sharp, burning ache in your chest, at that moment.
On Wednesday and Thursday, just when you didn't want to overthink much about yeosang's sudden unusual behaviour towards you, things worsened. Once, when it was physics class, you were looking forward to the rivalry that always took place in between both of you, almost like a form of affection. You used to compete on who could answer the professor's questions first and he never let down his guard during such lectures. But this time, his hang didn't raise up to answer, not even once. You passed him a confused glance and he just shrugged, yet again, and you were 100% sure he knew the answer but still didn't answer instead. he seemed distracted and impossibly distant to you, and all you wanted to do is cry until you passed out. a similar incident of him ignoring you happened on Thursday and frankly, you don't even want to talk about it.
On Friday, the week's pattern of avoidance reached its peak. as school ended and the bells rung, you felt a knot of anxiety instead of relief that school ended. As you reached your locker, you overheard yeosang and wooyoung talking about their weekend plans about playing a new video game that wooyoung had bought, together. the ease and joy you felt in yeosang's voice made your stomach churn, because just as you walked closer to him, trying to start a conversation yet again, smiling faintly- yeosang glanced up, saw you, and the smile on his face suddenly faded. Wooyoung didn't seem to notice because he was scrolling something on his phone. Yeosang immediately broke eye contact with you and whispered something to wooyoung, effectively dismissing you. huh, two could play this game, you thought. angered and confused like hell, you turned away from him and took your bag and left without sparing him another glance.
"He's definitely ignoring me. I dont even know the hell why." You mumbled, lying on your bed, and Jia put her phone aside and turned to you, looking concerned. She came over to hang out with you for a while, during the weekends, and who else could you open up to about your problems other than your best friend?
"After you described his unusual behaviour towards you the entire week, i think so too. And that is so shitty of him. Seriously, have you done something to piss him off badly these days?" Jia asked, confused.
"I don't even get the chance to TALK to him nowadays, Jia- let alone tease him or piss him off. And over and over i keep thinking if i did o said something wrong but nothing comes to my mind, seriously. How dare he give me a cold shoulder after literally calling me his girlfriend to a random stranger last week??!!" You ranted, sounding and feeling the angriest you've ever felt in your life.
Jia consoled you and tried her best to distract your mind from yeosang during the time she was with you. but after she left, at night; you laid in your bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying yeosang's cold indifference over and over in your mind. This can't continue into next week; you need answers, and deserve answers. Monday, you decide, will be the day you confront yeosang, demanding to know why he pushed you away over the week. You fell asleep rehearsing what she would say, each word crafted precisely to argue with him and let him know how sad and frustrated you get when he ignores you....which would maybe also lead to you confessing to him...?
not that you cared. if a confession is what comes out of this then be it.
.
The weekend passed by in no time. Here you were, presenting your chemistry project in front of the entire class along with Jaehyun, feeling pretty confident and satisfied with your work. The presentation went by pretty smoothly and your chemistry teacher showered you both with compliments and so did the entire class; applauding cheerfully. You returned to your seat with a huge smile on your face (that you couldn't hide) and fist-bumped Jaehyun, telling him that you both truly did a great job.
Next up was Yeosang and Mingi's project. Mingi was one of your classmates and also a good friend of Yeosang's. Their presentation was something unique and different, something that had grabbed the entire class's attention, including yours. They both explained each concept so well and their research was done excellently. While directly making eye contact with the entire class while explaining each slide, at some point, when their presentation was done and the entire class cheered rowdily once again, Yeosang's eyes made brief eye contact with yours, and you could not tell what his expression meant. But you clapped softly and Yeosang's face was still blank, not until he met eyes with other students and smiled politely at them. You still continued staring at him until he settled back into his seat, your eyes silently spitting outrage and confusion, and he didn't look back at you.
Your mind was now a outlet of mixed emotions and feelings and displaced thoughts; as you worked out how to settle everything with yeosang and to know what the hell was his actual deal.
You could not figure out anything, not until all lectures for the day ended and the bell rang loudly, all students hurrying up to pack their bags and go home. A sudden splash of currentness washed over you, as you realized that this was your only chance to confront Yeosang, or else he'd be gone forever. You could confront him tomorrow too, but you had planned to do this today and you never broke promises with yourself. Instead of directly lashing out at him, you decided to compliment him on his project first and ask him about his thoughts on your project.
Just as you spotted him at the classroom doors, ready to step out into the hallway, you quickly rushed over and stood after him, almost blocking his way.
"Hey. Y-your project, and Mingi's too, of course- was amazing. Well done, seriously." You managed to let out, almost in a fangirl kinda voice.
Yeosang just stared at you for a second, a bit startled at first when you practically blocked his way, but now his expression was still blank, and he mumbled out a low "thank you."
Nah, this isn't it. You decided to speak up a bit more, like normal.
"I was really impressed by how detailed your explanations were. What did you think about my project? Was it good enough to impress THE kang yeosang?" You asked, chuckling a little. Usually, yeosang would have definitely giggled a little, or even smirked, but instead, he parted his lips awkwardly.
"Yeah, it was cool." He replied, his voice still low. You still stood there, expecting him to say something more, but he didn't, instead- just stared coldly at you as if telling you to get the hell outta his way and let him leave. But you were absolutely not letting that happen. He crossed is limit and your blood was practically boiling now.
"What the hell is wrong with you nowadays, Yeosang?" You asked him, your voice low but still emitting annoyance and rage.
"W-what do you mean?" He asked, now breaking eye contact with you, staring at the floor behind you. You couldn't believe that he stuttered while saying his first word. Ah, so he is aware of his actions over the past week, you thought.
"What do i mean?? SERIOUSLY?? Don't act all innocent. Why are you ignoring me and pushing me off since the past week?" You asked, your voice loud and firm, demanding answers. "Just so you know, I am not letting you get away with the silent treatment you've been giving me. Tell me, what did I even do wrong that you're giving me the cold shoulder??!! You said, practically screaming at the man in front of you. Something about Yeosang's demeanor changed, at that moment- his eyes were now a flicker of emotions you could not comprehend.
"I'm.....not ignoring you. I am talking with you now, aren't i?" He said, his voice still low, almost as if he spoke any further it would break.
"Stop lying for god's sake!!!!!" You let out, and without thinking any further, you grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the nearest closet, the one closest to the hallway and your class.
It looked like a huge closet from the outside, but it was pretty closed-off from the inside, and you had no idea how you managed to fit inside it along with Yeosang, but you did.
Yeosang almost removed his wrist from your grip but gave up as soon as you dragged him inside the closet with you, breathing heavily in this constricted place he was bought to.
Inside the dimly lit closet, the air was thick with the scent of lemon polish and dust. You finally let go of his wrist and stood a few inches apart from him, your gaze piercing an burning holes into his skin.
"Are you insane? Why did you even bring me here, y/n??" He asked, coughing a little. Your skin formed goosebumps as your ears registered the fact that he called out your name. You did not hear him call you by your name for the past week and now that he did, you felt like you were getting dizzy.
"Quit the act and tell me what the hell is wrong with you. Unfortunately, i had to bring you here to talk or else you would have pushed me off and walked past me again, ignoring me like always, right?" You let out, your voice sarcastic.
Suddenly you became aware of the present situation, you locked into a small, constricted closet along with your rival....or your crush, him being only inches apart from you. There was a dim light turned on inside the closet so hopefully, you could see each other's faces, and hell, why did yeosang always have to look this goddamn handsome?
The strands of his smooth, black hair were messed up at the edges and he was sweating a little because of the current atmosphere, and his forehead was slightly exposed- his hoop cross earrings shining in the dim light. There were no restrictions about wearing subtle jewelry at your school and Yeosang took advantage of it, showing off his ear piercings.
If he wanted to leave and had nothing else to say to you, he would have already opened the closet door and would have left, you thought. But he didn't, instead, you felt his lips being parted as if he was about to say something. He hesitated for a few seconds, but said it regardless;
"Why......Ah, right. Your project is over now and you won't spend time with Jaehyun anymore, so you're suddenly looking for me now?" He said, laughing a little in disbelief.
What....? No way...... was he jealous of you spending time with Jaehyun nowadays?
You weren't dumb, you had already thought about the possibility of Yeosang perhaps giving you the cold shoulder because he felt jealous of Jaehyun, since you really were spending a lot of time with him since the past week... but you quickly brushed this off because you always thought that Yeosang did not like you in that way. Always.....and him saying this to you, right now, obviously implied that he was jealous, right?
"What are you talking about? Who do you even think i am....yeosang?? Don't tell me you felt jealous of Jaehyun?" You let out, staring so firmly at him, observing each and every single detail about his expression.
Silence. He didn't say anything, instead just stared below, almost looking embarrassed.
Now, it was you who was laughing in disbelief. "Just talk to me...for gods sake. You being quiet is not helping, and now you're implying that you felt jealous of Jaehyun. What am i supposed to make of this?" You asked, patiently or impatiently waiting for him to just...speak.
"So, am i in the wrong for feeling jealous, now?? I am sorry. I have to be the stupidest person on earth, i- i don't even have the right to be feeling jealous for you, y/n," Yeosang said, and the last sentence felt like something he would've wanted to say to himself. He felt vulnerable, his words felt vulnerable- and if you weren't confronting him right now, you would have hugged him for sure.
"Hey... i'm not saying that you feeling jealous is wrong. It's definitely not. Just, do you have any clue how you ignoring me and giving me the worst cold shoulder made me feel? I wanted to cry, scream, pull you by your collar and make you look directly at me and just...wanted everything between us to be normal. I, feel so deprived when you don't give me attention, you're so important to me, i-i don't know how you became so important to me, Yeosang." You said, catching your breath as you stared at the wall sideways. You could not look at Yeosang right now. You just couldn't.
"Y/N.....i had no idea...." He said, not breaking his gaze away from your face.
"I'm sorry, all this time, i thought it was just me...i am not supposed to be feeling jealous of you, y/n. You're my rival, goddamit- and as this thought sunk in, i realized that i like you, so bad that it hurts. I am sorry, for making you sad. That's the last thing I'd want, i like you so much, I'd never want you to cry over someone as stupid as me-" and that's it. that's all it took for you to close the remaining inches of distance between the both of you. You wanted him to just, stop speaking. Apologizing. You could hear him say that he liked you a million times, but him apologizing for liking you? You wanted to cry, SCREAM. Realizing that you were just an inch away from his face, not only did yeosang stop speaking, but those dark, majestic eyes immediately glanced at your lips, and that's all it took for you to press a light, chaste kiss on his lips.
You immediately pulled apart after a second, not even registering Yeosang's reaction to the sudden kiss. It was too much for you, though- his lips were so soft, although you just pecked for a mere second, you could feel how sweet those perfect lips tasted, and you wanted to kiss him forever. You don't even know how you managed to pull apart, but you did, of course- because you could not do this if yeosang didn't want to.
Yeosang's eyes widened the moment you kissed him, and although you were too scared to see his reaction, you did anyways, your eyes roaming everywhere, hesitantly, nervously around his face. And then you finally met his eyes- and saw him lift his hand and one of his fingers lightly grazed the edge of his lips, as if registering that you had...just kissed him.
He met your eyes, and just when you had this horrible feeling to just open the closet doors and run away for your life, Yeosang grabbed your wrist, walking a few inches closer until he pulled you up against the closet wall on your side, and you swore your heart beat right out of your chest, at that moment. He placed his other hand right behind your head, on the wall; and a small smile played at the corner of his lips before chasing your lips once again, completely closing any distance left between the both of you, and kissed you slowly at first, as if savoring you, learning how it feels like to kiss you. You firmly closed your eyes, trying your best to live in this moment, to kiss him back just as sweetly as he did.
A million reasons could have convinced you that Kang Yeosang would have rejected you and that things would never be the same between the both of you again. But not a single reason could have convinced you that here he was, kissing you as if you both were the only people in this world, confessing to you about how much he likes you.
You were so overwhelmed with so many emotions bubbling up inside you, but the only thing you wanted was to kiss kang yeosang until you were breathless, until you felt like passing out. no stopping in between. so, you did.
His lips picked up their pace, now kissing you passionately, hungrily, as if he'd been waiting for this moment his entire life. His hand still held your wrist, and you closed it into a fist, and you just drowned in the sensation Yeosang's lips on yours. He suddenly bit your lower lip with his teeth, and you almost squealed- but regained your composition, and bit his upper lip as revenge. God, he almost moaned into your mouth and you felt your knees go weak. His lips tasted like coffee, the sweet one- like mocha. Mocha was your favorite drink and the fact that yeosang's lips tasted as sweet as mocha.....
The both of you pulled apart minutes later, completely breathless and reaching out for air- although barely any of it could be found in this constricted place. He flashed you a small, satisfied smirk, and your stomach swooned, a strong blush forming on your cheeks. The realization of your first kiss, with yeosang, taking place in the school's hallway closets- had you feeling mixed emotions. Hell, your happiness won out of those emotions, you felt so giddy inside, becuase you had just kissed THE kang yeosang.
"I hated the fact that you looked so nervous after kissing me for the first time, you know." He said, his voice firm.
"I....felt like i never made it clear, or even gave you small hints, that i liked you all along. I wanted to wash all your insecurities, hesitation and nervousness away. So i kissed you until you were breathless, hopefully making my feelings clear. You're just as important to me, like you said, i am to you." He said, holding you chin and softly caressing his thumb over your cheeks.
You melted so badly, at everything going on in this moment- his fingers softly caressing your cheeks, him confessing to you again just to make sure that you knew how much he liked you.
"S-stop saying things like that, and that too so sincerely. I feel like i might have a heart attack. And i like you too, so much that i think i might die." You said, smiling sheepishly.
"Hmm, that sounds like a convincing confession. Does that mean that you might have died if i had rejected you now, instead?" He said, chuckling.
"No, i would have still liked you as much as i always did. I would have never given up, even if you rejected me. I would do everything to make you fall in love with me. I am a stubborn person, you know." You replied, meaning every word you said.
Yeosang placed a soft, subtle kiss on your cheek after your reply, and you witnessed his beautiful, endearing eye smile at that moment, and your heart once again melted into puddles.
You could not believe all this. This was so, different.... he treated you like you were a delicate doll, at this moment, he showered so much love on you, something you would have never expected to happen. What you did expect was the usual cocky face, that usual smirk, that unending teasing, unending random fights. not....what just happened.
"L-lets get out now, we're both sweating like hell. Not really an ideal place to stay in after a confession and a kiss, you know" You said, and Yeosang nodded, peeking through the small hole in the door, making sure no one was present in the hallway. Then, you both got out, taking in the fresh air, as he mumbled "You're the one who bought me in this shitty place. However, the kiss and confession made it worth it." You passed him a smirk and he shrugged.
You both rushed toward your classroom, picked up your bags, and walked down the stairs together, the atmosphere suddenly quiet between the both of you. You tried your best to hide the fact that you just kissed someone, but you couldn't, of course- that dumb, sheepish smile on your face remained, you glancing at yeosang every now and then as you reached the school gates- him looking just as flustered as you.
i can make yeosang flustered, you thought. i have the power to make him go all shy.....
"I got jealous once too, you know." You said, breaking the silence and Yeosang looked up at you, his eyes all curious and wide.
"Don't think you even remember this, since you are so nice to everyone all the time. But you know, when you were walking down the stairs and caught a girl who was just about to fall down? I was jealous, i even wished it was me in that redheads place. I also felt like i had no right to be jealous for you." You admitted, the both of you now standing at the pavement of a street starting from the edge of your school gates.
"Ah, that time? I don't remember much, to be honest, but i had no idea that you were jealous, i don't think i was even aware that you were near me at that time..." Yeosang said, looking apologetic, and it was the first time you had ever seen him look apologetic.
"Of course, you don't remember. You do stuff like this all the time, act so nice and polite towards everyone in school- and become the complete opposite when you're with me. It has changed quite significantly nowadays, though, and now you act nice towards me too." You rambled, almost as if you were talking to yourself.
"I.... didn't know that you paid so much attention to me. Just so you know, i always teased you and fought with you and stuff, because i felt comfortable with you. It's not easy for me to be comfortable with just anyone, so i always act nice to others no matter what because i'm scared i'll disappoint them in some way... i know you won't understand this properly.." He said, and you placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder as if you understood him.
"I get what you mean. That's why i never really complained about our....relationship. Whenever you acted so differently towards me, it was like you were trusting me with your true, real personality. Maybe that's also one of the reasons that pushed me to confess to you." You admitted.
"I could shower you with a million compliments right now, y/n, but unfortunately, we have to go home... it's too late, but i don't want to let you go just yet." He pouted, and he looked so cute you wanted to pinch his nose. So you did.
"Alright, loverboy. Let's go home and continue this conversation while chatting or on call? My mom's probably wondering where the hell i am." Yeosang pinched your nose in return and you both giggled together, feeling content.
"Reach home safely. I'll call you later, bye." Yeosang waved to you as he parted ways in the opposite direction of yours, a lovesick smile lingering on his lips that you couldn't ignore. You waved back and almost skipped happily on your way home, thinking this might just have been the best day of your life.
.
Just as you stepped inside your room after washing up, you sat on your bed, pulling out your phone, and right at that time, a message notification popped up.
from kang yeosang. that's how you had saved his name on your phone and you chucked at how... formal it was, his full name and everything. Before checking his message, you went towards th eetings of your chat and added a heart alongside the name "yeosang"
yeosang 💗
heyy
can i call you rn? or later, if you're busy?
you
suree, call me, i'm free rn
i was waiting for ur msg <3
You picked up his call, giving up on the "hi, hello" pleasantries and just starting your conversation because you surely had so much to talk about.
"This might just be the first time i've ever called you. It's so weird but i've wanted to do it since a long time." He chuckled, his voice sounding deep and low, and you felt like your heart was on fire.
"I know, right. All this is so... unusual. We used to be RIVALS, yeosang. and now, today, we....all this..... i can't believe this." You said, finding it unreal that you're even talking with yeosang on the phone, right now.
"Seriously. We still are rivals, though, you're such a smartass and i can't help but get competitive at almost...everything with you. But we can be making out in between all such banters and saying sweet stuff to each other sometimes, i guess."
You laughed at how honest yeosang was and how he worded everything. You realized that you were no better than him because when it came to him, you could just go on rambling forever, saying words that don't make sense sometimes.
"Deal. So i guess we're rivals and lovers at the same time..now." You chuckled at how absurd that sounded, but it was true.
"That's right, y/n. Ah shoot, i have to go now, wooyoung's practically screaming at me over texts when i told him about our kiss and confession today." There was a hint of panic in yeosang's voice and you found it cute.
"OH FUCK. That reminds me how i have to tell Jia about this, too. Talk to you later, rival slash lover boy." Jia would practically call you and scream at you at this, just like wooyoung. they truly do suit each other....
"That was a little- nevermind. Bye, rival slash lover girl." He replied, waiting for you to cut the phone, so you did, although it was painful and you could keep listening to his voice forever.
And as expected, Jia was so pumped up after heating your events of the day with yeosang, she screamed so loud, saying "FREAKING FINALLY, YOU DUMBASS" your ears might've been permanently damaged at this point. But she said how happy she was for you and how she'll kick yeosang's ass if he ever makes you sad, and you thanked her for that.
Everything was so much for you to take in. But suddenly, everything felt right, everything felt like normal, at the same time. It was like you were meant to be, together with yeosang, although you were his rival.
The playful banters and teasing could go on and on in your relationship, along with the both of you doing the things a couple does, successfully planting in a healthy relationship.
You felt blessed to have such a person in your life, someone like yeosang, who made your life so interesting, so exciting, someone who made you look forward to waking up in the morning and someone who was now yoir boyfriend.
Boyfriend, yeosang.....hmm. I like the sound of that. You thought, giddily grabbing your pillow and practically squealing because of how happy and content you were.
but of course, not content just yet. there were so many things to do with yeosang, now that you both were a couple- go on dates everywhere, kiss all the time, make love, say that you love each other a hundred times...
you were not ready but were ready at the same time, for the upcoming chapters of your life with kang yeosang, your now rival slash lover boy- moments that you were sure would make you feel like you're living the best life possible because you're living them with yeo.
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A/N ^^^ - a possible upcoming extra scene coming up for this one, which I will include in another post later <3 because I felt like the ending was pretty rushed but I will make it up to you guys later, I promise. it's just because I felt like this fic was getting way too long and it'd be too much for y'all to read ;(
likes, reblongs, comments and follows are always immensely appreciated, dear reader, thank you so much for reading my fic!! :)
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Prompts 8 and 14 with Poly lost boys? (If not Poly, I’ll be good with any of them-)
8. Quiet, she has just fallen asleep!
14. Are you alright?
Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you like this!💜
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The house was quiet. Maria had gone off to work at the videostore, and Shelly had gone out to meet with her boyfriend Greg. Normally, I would have put some music on, doing some chores or making some art now that they were gone. But not today. I woke up feeling off. I had hoped that after some breakfast and some coffee, it would be over, but alas, it only got worse. So that's why I found myself lying on the couch, with the remote control of the telly in my hand. I still hadn't put it on, knowing that the sound - no matter how soft it could be - would only worsen the headache I had.
I closed my eyes as I felt another pang of pain flashing through my head. The headache had been there all day, but now it was slowly but surely turning into a splitting headache. I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer and made my way to the kitchen. Somewhere, in one of the cabinets, I was certain I'd have a package with aspirin. I sighed as I entered the kitchen, seeing the dirty dishes piling out of the sink. The remains of our lunch were lying on the kitchen island. It was a mess. Normally, I wouldn't mind cleaning it up, but now, the thought alone made me want to cry. God, I felt sick.
I opened the cupboard, realising that the package I had had been used up by my housemates. The only thing left of it was the empty box. I sighed as I threw it in the bin, deciding that I'd have to go to the drugstore. I got dressed in some comfortable yet more appropriate clothing - I didn't want to go outside in my pyjamas - and put my shoes on. After locating my keys on the dining room table, I headed outside - only to return to put a jacket on. It was surprisingly cold outside.
As I walked down the street, I was a little relieved to realise that the sun was setting already. It meant that my boyfriends would be going to the boardwalk soon. As much as the idea of being in a brightly lit, loud space didn't appeal to me, the idea of being with them and near them did.
The door to the drugstore opened with a soft tinkle as I pushed it open, the bell above the door signalling my presence. It was quiet inside, the only other customer an old lady. I greeted her quietly before searching the aisles for what I needed. I didn't pay attention when I heard the bell ring, nor did I pay attention to the space around me. So, when I found the brand I needed, and made a move to grab it, I bumped into someone.
"Oh my god, I'm so-"
"Shit, you look like shit babe!" I looked up and saw that I had bumped into Marko. I gave him a watery smile.
"I kind of feel like it, I think it hay-fever or something."
Marko nodded, his hand resting on my forehead to check my temperature. "I think it's a bit more than that."
"Fever?"
"Yeah, a bit. Come on," he took the medicine I wanted and walked towards the checkout. "You're staying with us tonight."
"Weren't you going to the boardwalk?"
"You're more important. Santa Carla won't forget who owns the place if we don't show up one night."
I nodded, taking a deep breath. It was suddenly really warm inside. "What were you doing here?"
"Paul's been complaining about a lack of liquorice in the cave."
"He really likes that stuff?"
"Apparently. We can't all be perfect," he paid for the liquorice and the aspirin, also asking for a bottle of water. He grabbed our stuff, opening the door for me. Once we were outside, I stopped walking for a moment, taking some deep breaths.
"Are you alright?"
I shook my head slightly. " 'm feeling a little faint."
"Go and sit down, alright?" He handed me the bottle of water and the aspirin. "Have you eaten today?"
I shrugged as I took a sip. "Wasn't hungry."
"You actually got the liquorice!" I looked up as I saw Paul appearing out of thin air in front of me. "And you got our gir- Jesus, you look like shit."
I nodded, feeling a little less faint than before. I heard the loud rumble of motorcycles, and I knew that Dwayne and David were also here now. I looked up, smiling tiredly as David walked towards me.
"Hey."
"Hey darlin'," he helped me stand up, looking me over as I did. I felt myself tremble a little. Maybe Marko was right, and this was more than allergies. "Let's get you home. Do you think you can hold on?"
I nodded, climbing on the back of his bike, and holding on to him tightly.
"We need some food, see if there's a store open so you can get her some fruit and bread and such."
"Sure thing. Is there anything you'd like?" Paul looked at me, and I shook my head. He nodded, kissing me softly on my forehead before driving off. Marko handed Dwayne the stuff we'd just bought, saying he'd be home shortly. He had to feed. Dwayne drove next to us, both David and him driving slower than usual. I was glad they did, mainly because their usual driving style was close to nauseating. Besides, with them driving slower, the chances of me gliding off were slimmer. I closed my eyes for a bit, a sudden tiredness overwhelming me.
"Don't fall asleep, love."
" 'm not." I mumbled, holding on a little tighter.
"We're almost home, then you can sleep all you want."
Dwayne was true to his word. Less than five minutes later, we stopped at the edge of the cliff leading towards the cave. Without a word, Dwayne lifted me up, carrying me in his arms down the stairs and into the lobby of the sunken hotel.
"Couch or bed?"
"Couch," I said softly, trying to stiffle a yawn, "Don't want to be alone."
"Alright, love."
He carefully laid me down on the couch, taking some pillows from Star's bed to make sure I was comfortable. David brought me the blanket I normally used while staying here, a thick and soft fabric covering the whole thing. I mumbled a soft thank you.
"How long have you been feeling sick?" David asked, crouching down next to me, brushing some hair out of my face.
"Since this morning."
"It's probably just a cold or a flu. Is the aspirin helping?"
"A little, I guess?"
He gave me a soft smile, getting up. I closed my eyes, drifting in and out of consciousness before sleep finally came.
I don't know how much time passed before I woke up, but when I did, I could hear an annoyed Dwayne hiss something at Paul and Marko.
"Quiet, she has just fallen asleep!"
"Ah shit, sorry, babe!" Paul whisper yelled at me, causing me to sleepily open my eyes.
" 's okay," I nodded, looking at them.
"I know you said you didn't want anything from the store, but I also brought you some cookies and chocolate."
I smiled tiredly, wincing as I felt my headache return. "Thank you, hon."
"If you're not feeling better tomorrow, we could give you some blood to speed up the healing process?" Marko offered. I bit my lip, not knowing whether I'd like that or not. I did feel sick, but to drink blood? "Just think about it, alright?"
"Yeah."
He smiled before looking outside. The sky was turning a bright red. He went to the back of the cave, climbing through the liftshaft. Dwayne and Paul followed. I pulled my blanket closer against me, curling up, when I felt a pair of arms lifting me up.
"Hm?"
"We're staying with you today, sweetheart."
" 's nice," I mumbled sleepily, already dosing off as he brought me to the bedroom. I was asleep before I even hit the pillow, my boys surrounding me, making sure I'd be okay.
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Text
A Danish Werewolf in The City
The First Taste - part 2
Note: life's full of surprises, huh? once again, this fic was getting out of hand, so I had to split it up once more and this chapter is now 3 parts long. And as promised, the ending & smut part of it will be out tomorrow. For now, I hope you enjoy this! Special thanks to @foxyanon for reading a tiny part as a way of helping me out.
previous chapters: part 1 - part 2 - part 3.1
Pairing: werewolf!Sihtric x you (f)
Warnings: 18+, angst/horror fic.
Wordcount: 2,7k
Masterlist
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After his relentless vampire killing spree, which had lasted up to several months, Sihtric realised he needed to calm down before accidentally sparking the interest of werewolf hunters or other observing folk around.
He had earned quite some new scars during his slaughters, some of which were hard to hide on a warm summer day. And the last thing Sihtric wanted was having to move towns because his beast identity had been discovered. He knew he'd be chased away, or worse, being hunted down and tortured before being brutally murdered. And the people would most likely make a fancy rug out of his fur and use his decapitated wolf's head as a laughingstock to scare children with. These weren't medieval times, but once a creature was discovered living amongst regular humans, people tended to slip into a state of primaeval panic. So he began to lay low as the Moon cycle continued, and that's when he made a list of everything he'd need to restore the shed.
His shed was ordinary on the outside, like any other backyard shed around his neighbourhood, but the inside of it was something else. Inside, the wooden walls of which the shed was made, were hidden behind a firm layer of steel that would be impossible to break out of and, most importantly, were sound proof. Furthermore, the cabin was completely empty inside, apart from a chair in the middle which resembled those used as electric chairs in prisons. The design had been picked on purpose, as he could be easily restrained in it with metal chains, which a pack member would always help him with, and because his monthly involuntary transformation felt like something he should be punished for.
As Sihtric had his shifting under control, he usually didn't need to be fully restrained and mainly did it as a precaution every month, not wanting to become a killing machine. But after he had decided several Moons ago to rip off all the chains from the chair, floor and ceiling, to completely let his werewolf form go in order to slay those vampires while he was hurting, thus making the shed completely unusable for the sole purpose it had been built, he now felt that he needed to be fully chained up again to restore the balance inside of him. The full Moon made everyone act out, even humans and other animals, not just the werewolves, but it simply affected the latter more than the average breathing being. And since Sihtric did not want to become a target by hunters, townsfolk or any other creature of the night, he knew he had to be quick to fix up his enclosure. And as he only had three days left before he would already start to feel the effect of the waxing Moon, as she would be almost fully round, he headed to the hardware store.
Sihtric strolled through the store with a shopping cart, agitated by one of its wheels as it malfunctioned and abruptly brought the cart to an awkward halt every now and then with a loud squeak that hurt his ears and drew attention. He cursed under his breath as he fought with the cart while he searched for the materials he needed. The full Moon wasn't here yet, but Sihtric was already more sensitive than during the other moon phases, and he kicked the cart's wheel in his frustration when it blocked once again and caused him to bump into the cart. To his delight, he quickly found the aisle he was searching for, and he loaded the limp cart with several heavy metal chains, as well as the tools he needed to secure them again.
And it was then, when he wanted to struggle with the cart to the self checkout, that he suddenly froze as he caught a familiar scent closeby that made his heart skip several beats.
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You gritted your teeth as you searched for a specific colour of paint. Months had passed since Sihtric had scratched up the paint job on the outside of your windowsill, and you couldn't bear to look at it anymore. It was horrible, the claw markings clearly visibly as they had left dark scratches on the white surface. The fact that those scratches were there was not even the worst part of it all. No, the worst of it was that you knew you had to repaint the entire outside part of your house after touching up the scratches, because it had been a while since you had applied the paint, and the white had turned a rather light grey overtime. 
You internally cursed your werewolf ex-boyfriend as you roamed past the various shades of paint. It had been months, but you still loved Sihtric, and in truth you knew it was going to be hard to remove the last physical memory you had of him. To make matters worse, you finally spotted the paint you were looking for at the top shelf, which you couldn't possibly reach. You sighed, clearly annoyed, and looked around for an employee who could help you, but it seemed they were all on their lunch breaks. You groaned as you wanted to make your way back to the paint aisle, but stopped when you spotted a man who looked tall enough to reach that top shelf. He had his back turned to you as he seemed to stare down into his shopping cart, and you cleared your throat as you walked up to him.
'Excuse me,' you chuckled awkwardly, 'could you maybe help me-'
You immediately stopped talking when the man turned around, and it felt as if the ground beneath your feet crumbled away. You stopped breathing as you studied him, for he looked so different. The man was handsome, so very handsome, with his well kept goatee and interesting haircut; dark curls on one side while the other half was shaved. For a moment you figured it couldn't possibly be him, but those mismatched eyes were undoubtedly the same you had looked into various mornings.
'S… Sihtric?' you managed to breathe as your cheeks warmed up.
He stared at you, dead silent, while his Adam's apple bopped in his throat as he swallowed hard before he finally opened his mouth to speak after what felt like forever.
'I… I,' he stammered with a shaky voice, 'I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else.'
He quickly averted his eyes and turned on his heels, ready to push his cart and leave the store as fast as he could. But the cart stalled again as the limp wheel refused to cooperate, and forced him to suffer being around your presence a little longer. Your scent drove him mad, in every possible way, and he felt a mild panic inside of him. You were fast to grab his arm and stepped around to face him.
'Sihtric,' you said again, fully convinced this time as his voice had betrayed him too, 'please… I… I've been thinking of you,' you blurted out.
Your eyes darted over his face while he just stood there, nailed to the ground and clearly at war with himself, fighting urges inside of him. You took in his new look while he dared to bring his eyes back onto you, his new haircut was bold and strange, but you couldn't deny he made your heart beat just as fast as the first time you had met him.
'I've been thinking of you every day,' you said as you finally released his arm, 'have… have you been thinking of me?'
Sihtric looked down at his feet, then showed a quick pained and broken smile as he shrugged lightly.
'Of course,' he half mumbled and shyly rubbed his arm, 'of course I have. You're… you're all I think of, still.'
You smiled faintly and felt your cheeks heat up again. You stared at each other, unsure of what to do next. Part of you wanted to slap his face for telling you to get out of his life and break your heart, and the other part of you wanted to grab his face and kiss him, stumbling into the shelves and making out steamingly on the floor of the hardware store for everyone to see. But you did neither of those things.
'Where have you been?' you asked, breaking the long silence, 'I heard you quit at the vet a little while ago.'
'I didn't quit,' Sihtric said softly, 'I'm on temporary leave.'
'But why?'
'I just, I don't know. I had to take care of things.'
'I see,' you nodded, still confused by his vague answer, and then you looked into his cart, 'so, eh, renovating?'
'Something like that,' he chuckled faintly, 'what brings you here?'
'I need paint, but I can't reach it…'
Sihtric broke into a genuine smile and followed you to grab you the bucket of paint.
'Renovating?' he jested.
'Something like that,' you smiled, 'you left some… marks. I haven't gotten around to fix that up yet.'
'I'm sorry,' Sihtric said, immediately tormented again by the horrible night, and he sighed as a sense of panic crept up once more, 'well, look… I just… I-I have to go-'
'Sihtric, please,' you stopped him again, 'please. I'm worried about you. And I…,' you swallowed hard and half whispered, 'I miss you. I really fucking miss you.'
Sihtric stared at you, the tears glistened in his eyes as he sniffed and scratched his goatee in an attempt to hide his emotions.
'I miss you too,' he mumbled.
'Can we talk, please? Not here, not right now. But can we meet up somewhere later?'
Sihtric wasn't sure about your offer. He desperately wanted to talk to you and be close to you again, but he was afraid it would only make his unhealed wounds deeper as he still loved you with all his heart. You suggested to meet at a pub later that evening, but as you left the store with trembling hands, you still weren't sure if he was going to show up.
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You waited outside the pub and hoped Sihtric would show, otherwise you'd look like a fool waiting at the door for twenty minutes already. The place was crowded inside, as were the streets, and suddenly your eye caught the Moon as she crept up the darkened sky when you looked up. You began to feel nervous, reminiscing over everything that had happened prior to your break-up, and you wondered if maybe it had been a mistake to try and see where you and Sihtric stood right now. 
You would never deny that you were still in love with him, and had been all this time, despite the horrors and gruesome truths you had discovered about him and his being. If anything, you understand his werewolf identity more now after all the research you had done, and it even had gotten as far as sparking a new curiosity inside of you. But before you could disappear into your newfound interest, you were startled when Sihtric suddenly stood behind you and spoke softly in your ear.
'Caught you,' he chuckled softly with a hint of darkness.
But the mischief quickly fell off his face when you turned around, and he once again remembered what he had lost that night in the woods; you. You and that smile of yours, the one you flashed him now upon seeing him. The smile that made him weak instantly and made him want to cup your cheeks and nuzzle your nose softly in between peppering you with kisses all over. He'd do anything to be able to do that again. He'd try every other superstition that could potentially break his werewolf curse that he hadn't tried yet, no matter how gruesome, no matter the cost. If only he could have you again and love you like no other living being ever could.
'Hey,' you smiled, relieved, 'I wasn't sure if you were going to show.'
'Neither was I,' Sihtric confessed.
You noticed he avoided eye contact, and the sudden trembling of his lower lip betrayed the fact he was on the verge of tears.
'Well,' you broke the painful silence, 'can I… at least get a hug?'
Sihtric shrugged lightly and scrunched his nose as he sniffed, then held his arms open and invited you in his embrace. You wrapped your arms around him, allowing yourself to sink in his warm and strong arms which you had dreamt of nearly every night.
'I've missed your arms around me,' you murmured in his ear.
You fought your own tears now while you heard Sihtric sniffle quietly, and his grip suddenly tightened as his chest heaved up and down fast, as if a state of panic had captured him.
'I… I-,' he stammered with a shaky voice, 'I just can't breathe without you. It feels as if I can't breathe without you,' he almost wheezed, 'I… I need… I just need you.'
You tried to step back, wanting to look at him as you could sense he started to slip further into an abrupt form of panic, but you couldn't get out of his grip. A sudden low growl started to sound from deep down his throat, while his heavy breaths slowly changed into murmured grunts. 
His head was spinning as the intensity of every sound, sight and smell around him grew stronger, slowly driving him mad as his ears were ringing. His clothes felt too tight, the street lanterns and pub signs were too bright and the people too loud. But even louder was the buzzing of his own blood in his ears, as well as the sound of your beating heart inside your chest, and he suddenly bared his teeth with a silent snarl as you managed to take a step back. You took his face while his hands found your waist, squeezing you firmly but not all unpleasant, and you forced eye contact as you spoke to him as soothingly as possibly.
'Sihtric? Sihtric listen to me. You need to calm down,' you said compassionately, but not without fright as his mismatched eyes occasionally glowed, 'just breathe. You can breathe, I promise. I'm here… I'm here, okay?' you said with a soft sob, 'I'm not going anywhere, you hear me?'
While Sihtric fought his urge to shift, as his emotions were almost unbearable and he just wanted to hide, you managed to gradually calm him down and suggested you'd go for a walk instead of a drink at the pub. You worried that any slight cause of frustration might tip Sihtric over the edge, thus shifting into a gigantic werewolf and tearing up the place as well as everyone in it, which was the absolute last thing you wanted. You took his hands and pulled him with you, out of the busy street and near the entrance of a quiet and dark alley where you sat down on a public bench that overlooked the river which ran through the darkened city.
Sihtric calmed down while his trembling hands held yours, and he finally dared to look at you again as he stopped fighting his tears.
'Pushing you away from me was the biggest mistake of my life,' he spoke softly, with a broken voice, 'I thought it would be better for you, but it's… and maybe it was, but for me-' he stopped and buried his face in his hands while he cried.
You wrapped your arms around his jerking shoulders, letting your tears run freely along with his, and you told him you understood why he had pushed you away and that walking out on him was your biggest regret too. You told him that after the split you had started researching his wolf being, and that you understood him so much better now and everything that came with it. Sihtric felt relieved to hear that it seemed you had accepted his darker side, but he dreaded telling you what he had been up to while you were broken up…
'Have you been with someone else?' he eventually asked as both your tears had dried.
'What?' you scoffed, 'oh, please. As if you couldn't smell.'
'I could,' Sihtric admitted with a chuckle, 'but have you?'
'I haven't,' you rolled your eyes with a soft smile, 'what about you?'
'Really?' he frowned and feigned offence.
'Look, I know your sex drive, Sihtric,' you shrugged, 'so I'm just asking.'
'Well, I haven't been with anyone else,' Sihtric sighed, 'I mean… no one wants to be with a monster, do they?'
You sat in silence for a long time, just staring out into the darkness together, until you took his hand again and said, 'It was a mistake to break up, wasn't it?'
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taglist: @foxyanon @alexagirlie @sihtricsafin @neonhairspray @gemini-mama
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@carnationworld @justanother-sihtricgirlie @stark-head @reidsbookstore @thenameswinter99
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@solinarimoon @thatawkwardlittlefangirl
if you want to be added to/deleted from the taglist, message me 🖤
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waytooinvested · 16 hours
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Lena: So. What’s taking you to Milan?
Kara: Oh no…
Lena: During your “big work thing”.
Kara: Okay. This isn’t what it looks like.
Lena: God, can’t you be any more original than that?
Kara: Not really no. Because, it looks like I’m having an affair, doesn’t it?
Lena: Yes it FUCKING does.
Kara: Yeah. And I’m not. What I’m doing is… I’m saving the world from an alien invasion.
Lena: You’re-what? No you’re not.
Kara: Yeah, I am… and I’m really sorry.
Lena: What? I mean y-y-y-you’re not. But why are you?
Kara: Because… and again, I am so sorry. That’s my job.
Lena: It’s not. You’re a Personal Assistant.
Kara: No. I’m a Superhero. Quite- quite a famous Superhero.
Lena: So that Superhero we see on the news that looks and sounds exactly like you…
Kara: Supergirl? Yeah that’s me. I wear glasses so no one can tell.
Lena: But why would you hide this from me???
Kara: Because when we first met, you, very charmingly, explained to me how Kryptonian powers work.
Lena: Did I?
Kara: Yes you did. It was basically the first conversation we ever had, and then immediately afterwards, like straight away you asked me what I did for a living. And I thought well if I say Kryptonian Superhero you’ll feel really stupid, so I said Personal Assistant.
Lena: Why Personal Assistant?
Kara: Because I thought it was so boring you wouldn’t ask me any other questions. You did though. You were very sweet and you asked loads of questions. Which I answered. Making it hard to go back from it on a second date… And then the relationship continued, and I don’t know, at a certain point I just realised it’s now impossible ever to tell you.
Lena: A certain point? What, like our wedding day?!
Kara: No, way before that.
Lena: So what did you think was going to happen in the end?
Kara: I suppose I thought something exactly like this was going to happen in the end…
Lena: Is this all really true?
Kara: Yeah. And I mean… I can prove it quite easily.
Lena: So… you’re not having an affair?
Kara: No, I swear I have never, EVER cheated on you.
Lena: But you have lied to me. Since the day we met. About what you do, what you care about, basically who you are.
Kara: Yeah… Yeah. That’s worse isn’t it?
Lena: …. No it’s way better. Just don’t ever do it again, okay?
Kara: It’s hard to see how I could.
Source: John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme
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widevibratobitch · 6 months
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my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant
#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're#*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying#in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3#anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast#was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer#and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went#*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical#like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs#and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs#but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit#let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3#and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down#the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me#if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like#the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures#like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh#like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall#not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me#trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks#But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333#like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj#you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33#but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday#but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!
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hearties-circus · 8 months
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I kinda feel like I've just hard erased any happiness or elation I had from being done with school all just so I wouldnt get asked a stupid question anymore I hate this I hate this
#gamer txt.#not once have i actually fucking wanted to go to college this was just the only way to make ppl stop asking me about jobs#but im realising now that was a stupid decision and i hate that i made it i hate tgat i had the chance to back out and didnt#the only thing that made school worth it before was my friends that was the only time id get to see them#now im going back to school completely without them like a fucking idiot#i know college is different from highschool i get that and i do want to learn fab weld but fuck me this was dumb#i know damn well im not going to make any new friends during this course im more terrified of people than ive ever been#and i stick out from my class like a sore thumb#whats worse is my nervousness from this has started fucking with my appetite and hunger and that is the worst possible thing it could do#that is like the number one way to break me#im already in such a vulnerable state i do not need constant fucking reminders of trauma i cant fucking escape#and im meant to just be normal and be a person and go to class on monday?#im this close 👌 to just dogging it. im pretty sure ill be getting the train in like i could full well just fuck off and leave#its not like they have my mums number she wouldnt know any different from what i told her#can i not just stay in the purgatory of being a teen old enough to be done with school but young enough to not have a job forever ?#please? im not ready for this im not i couldnt be less ready for this why did i let myself succumb to this pressure? i hate it#g-d i havent cried in. months now. this feels so. this is too much this is way too much fot me i cant do this#i dont know how i thought i could when the hell have i ever been able to do something like this on my own#theres nothing to me on my own i dont have any confidence i dont have any strength i need my friends for that and i dont have them
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hella1975 · 2 years
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my sunshiney friend who I’m convinced has never judged anyone in her life and doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body: hey did something happen to your spotify I can’t find you anywhere :(
me knowing full well I blocked her in the heat of menstrual-infused paranoia convinced she was going to somehow scan through all of my playlists and collect enough clues to find my online presence and expose me: oh that’s weird
#like I just brushed it off with the shittest lie ever lmfao#bc she asked for my spotify AGESSS ago and then randomly a few weeks ago#JUST BROUGHT UP ONE OF MY PLAYLISTS?#and I was faced with the terrifying realisation that this girl checks my spotify regularly#and i was like. god damn. if u were really weird and stalkery you could very easily find my tumblr blog from my spotify#like even just from the titles (not anymore bc i changed them all in the exact same paranoia session that had me blocking her lmfao)#and ive finally accepted (bc ive noticed it for years but kinda ignored it) that i get SUPER paranoid before my period hits#like every month it's a whole thing and it SUCKS#and im pretty sure i posted about this when i did it but that night i was just CONVINCED that my spotify was going to expose me#and i blocked every single person from my real life on it skhgskjdghjk#AND THEN SHE MESSAGED ME TODAY SAYING THIS I WAS LIKE SHIT FUCK I FORGOT I DID THAT#like no regrets it helps me sleep at night BUT STILL SDGHSKDGH#im terrified that one day she'll ask again and i'll use the same 'idk why spotify isn't working :/' excuse#and she'll try and fix it WITH ME THERE in a way that LETS HER SEE MY SPOTIFY or worse THE FACT IVE BLOCKED HER#like if she finds out i actually made the conscious effort to block her there really is no normal explanation for that#and actually her assuming the worst would probably be better than the truth bc the truth is so much stranger lmfao#she's literally so lovely too i feel so bad but not bad enough to unblock her#sorry bestie ilysm it's not you it is very much me and this bitch hella1975#music tings
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earthtooz · 8 months
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x : NOT JEALOUS ! :*+゚
in which: alhaitham isn't jealous, he doesn't get jealous, so what is this suffocating feeling in his chest that only happens when you're talking to another man that isn't him?
warnings: 5.4k words, jealous!alhaitham x gn!reader who has loads of rizz, university!au, fluff with angst but happy ending, pining!alhaitham who doesn't realise that he loves you, kaveh is there, mention of cyno, ooc at some bits?, swearing, alhaitham is a little bit of an asshole at some parts sawry. he's bad with feelings.
a/n: inspired by @danijaci's jealous jealous boy comic with alhaitham! hi dani if you're reading this pls don't perceive me... hides... but i hope you all like it :,)
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Alhaitham isn’t jealous. 
The uncomfortable feeling obstructing itself in his throat is just because he’s beginning to develop a sore throat- that’s all. It is flu season after all, who knows what kind of bacteria are in the air? Ones capable of lathing an uncomfortable oil that burns inside his chest, the smog crowding its way into his heart, sickening him to his core as Alhaitham can’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation happening beside him.
“I’m free friday,” a voice besides you confirms.
“Okay!” you cheer, sounding a little too happy for Alhaitham’s liking. After all, it’s 9 am, who has this much energy in the morning? “lets do Friday then!”
“Sounds good, I’ll see you then. Bye Y/n.”
“Bye, see you!” Alhaitham watches from the corner of his eye as you wave to the random stranger you’ve decided to associate yourself with before finally taking the seat beside him with a sigh. 
He doesn’t say anything to you, feeling your eyes glance at him expectantly as he stares stubbornly at the lecture board instead of acknowledging you or the jumble of feelings clogging up his diaphragm. 
“Hello, you,” You lean over slightly, careful to not invade his personal space whilst waving at him, hoping to catch his attention. He glances at you, nodding in greeting before returning to his book, the pages and rows of words only fuelling his unease he suddenly felt. He doesn’t even know where he left off, the book’s events a blur in Alhaitham’s mind.
How bothersome. What’s happening to him?
“Talkative today, aren’t you?” Your tone is playful despite his cold attitude and Alhaitham sneaks another look in your direction, noting the way your lips curve upwards. “So, how are you?” 
“I’m fine,” he murmurs, inserting a bookmark between the pages before slamming it shut, an indicator that you could keep conversing with him.
“Cool.” You tap your nails on the desks of the lecture hall. “Oh, I finished my essay the other day.”
“The one for your elective?”
You hum in agreement, “I hope I never get it back. Submitted it ten minutes before the due date.”
“You know you wouldn’t have been stressed over it if you just started it earlier-”
“I know, I know,” you huff, “spare your productivity lectures for another time, I’ll be needing them later in the semester.” The grey-haired shakes his head as you laugh, but his gaze returns to the front cover of his book as he solemnly thinks about the interaction you had with another man, right in front of him. 
(What right did he have to see you smiling so earnestly like that?)
“Who was that?” Alhaitham coughs out, barely choking down his pride in time to make space for the question.
You murmur some guy’s name that he doesn’t bother to remember. “He’s a friend of mine in the same discussion group for this course and we decided to do the assignment together. He bumped into me on the way in so we were just planning when to meet to do the research.”
“Oh.” Your answer doesn’t calm the churning in Alhaitham’s gut. Not even one bit, in fact, it makes it worse. 
But it’s not jealousy, Alhaitham doesn’t get jealous because he’s above petty feelings of inadequacy. He’s merely concerned for you, worried for your brainpower by the end of the project because your partner seems less-than-incompetent. If you’d picked someone like Alhaitham (or better yet, just picked Alhaitham), you would’ve aced the class without even blinking an eye. 
(The two of you are friends, so why didn’t you pick him? It’s literally been proven that the two of you are compatible working together since you were both executives of Sumeru’s Cultural Society, and amidst all of the activities the club has run, you’ve collaborated many times to make each event run flawlessly. So why not him? Why would you pick another man over him?)
“You know you could have picked me, I wouldn’t mind working on the assignment with you,” he grumbles, words soft but very clear.
Alhaitham misses the way your eyes widen in shock as apologies scramble out of your mouth. “I’m sorry! I automatically assumed that you wanted to work on it by yourself. Next time I’ll ask you.” 
The lecture begins before he could say anything in return and like a robot, he sets his thoughts aside and begins listening, notes document up and cursor blinking at the ready.
A mundane two hours pass by, one powerpoint slide after powerpoint slide before the lecture is finally over, much to your pleasure. Alhaitham notices the way you eagerly jump out of your seat to stretch, grabbing your bag. On the other hand, your grey-haired accomplice takes his time in packing up, forcing you to wait for him.
“Would you like to get some coffee before the meeting?” You ask.
“Sure, we can find a seat there and join it together,” he adds and you beam at him, expression bright and so enchanting that it makes him forget about all the perplexities he felt before the lecture. 
The two of you make your way to one of the many campus cafés where you practically wrestled Alhaitham to stop him from paying for both your orders (losing in the end) before sitting at a booth, your laptop set up with a pair of Alhaitham’s earphones shared between you. The meeting begins to fill up with almost all committee members, even Kaveh, who resides in his room of his and Alhaitham’s shared flat. Upon noticing him, you go to text him, with the grey-haired peeking over your shoulder from time to time to see your conversation- not that he cares that much.
(Perhaps if Kaveh glanced up from his phone, then he’d see how close Alhaitham had gotten with you, breaching the distance that he prefers to keep around others. He’d also notice the headphone sharing despite how he generally tends to keep them out of anyone else’s hands.)
You’re tasked with the role of taking notes for the meeting since Alhaitham, in your opinion, is not at all a reliable scribe. His notes tend to just include vital information and never what everyone else needs to know, yet each time you scold him for it, his unbothered expression never falters, waving your complaints off with a shrug. 
“Hey, Kaveh and I are going to go for lunch tomorrow after our classes. Care to join?” You ask, smiling at him hopefully as your messages with Kaveh sit open on your screen. Alhaitham doesn’t think twice before agreeing. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“It looks like it’s about to rain,” you murmur, pulling out a chair as Alhaitham and Kaveh take their seats opposite you. 
“So it does,” Alhaitham notes, not caring to look too long out the window before returning his gaze to you. “You have an umbrella, right?”
“I, uh, didn’t think I needed one today.”
“Do you not check the weather before you leave?”
“Not everyone’s like you, Alhaitham.” Kaveh teases. “It’s no problem, Y/n, if it rains I can walk you back to your dorm.”
“Only if you are okay with it,” you insist, “I have no problem walking home in the rain. I love the rain.”
Alhaitham intervenes with a raise of his hand. “Nonsense, you’ll catch a cold. We’ll walk you home.”
A soft but genuine ‘thank you’ slips from your lips, neither of you wiser to the way Kaveh eyes his roommate suspiciously, not missing the use of ‘we’ in his sentence and the implications the collective pronoun has. For it meant that Alhaitham is willing to take precious time out of his day to perform an act for someone that he is not indebted to do. Not that Alhaitham is inherently selfish, per se, but he is a man of routine. He wakes up every morning and takes five minutes to scribble on his stupid whiteboard in the kitchen what he has to do for the day and strictly abides by it, not even straying two minutes off schedule.
Willingly volunteering his minutes? Kaveh finds that suspicious. 
“So, how’s your architecture assignment, Kaveh?” You ask, breaking the blond from his daze whilst Alhaitham pours glasses of water for the table, starting with your cup. 
“A nightmare,” he sighs, sinking into his chair. “I still have so much to do, you know my professor didn’t like my blueprint? How ridiculous! I hope that man steps in a puddle and wets his sock.”
The grey-haired pipes up with a remark. “I can’t wait for it to be done, our living room is a mess right now.” 
“Hey, I am the one that cleans that living room, thank you very much. Your bookshelf is still a mess even though I’ve asked you to clean it five times.”
“If it bothers you so much then why don’t you do it yourself?”
“I’m the only one who-”
“-I’m going to go to the bathroom,” you murmur, cutting the conversation before shuffling out of your chair, seemingly eager to do so.
Kaveh turns to the grey-haired again, “and you just scared away Y/n.”
“Sorry no one wants to hear about your architecture project.”
“Y/n literally asked, asshole.”
A rebuttal sits on the tip of Alhaitham’s tongue- as it always does when it comes to bickering with his roommate, but it dies out when an intruder comes to the table. “Excuse me, I hate to interrupt,” he begins, “but the person who just got up, is that your friend?”
“Yeah, why do you ask?”
“Oh, I just wanted to drop this off, mind passing it over for me?” The piece of paper he was holding lands in Kaveh’s hand. “Thanks, bro.” Is all he says before strolling away, out of sight but definitely not out of mind.
The blond does not hesitate to open it up, chuckling in amusement when reading the content. “’Hey you’re cute, here’s my number’ it says. What a bitch! You didn’t like his vibes either, right, Alhaitham?”
“Hold on, what does the note say?”
Grabbing (snatching) it from Kaveh, the grey-haired has half a mind to rip the note apart, a certain sense of distaste washing over him that intensifies the long he stares at the guy’s handwriting. His eye is twitching. Why is his eye twitching?
“Hey!” He hears Kaveh call. “Don’t scrunch it, that’s Y/n’s-“
Alhaitham stuffs the ball of paper into his bag where he’ll recycle it later even though something irrational within him tells him to burn it. “Y/n won’t miss it. You said it yourself, he’s a bitch.”
“Sure, but why are you doing-“
“Hey!” You interrupt, sliding back into your chair with a grin on your face. “So, what did I miss?”
“Nothing,” the grey-haired murmurs, assuming his crossed-arm position. Kaveh side eyes his roommate before agreeing with a hum. “Let’s order something now. We want to beat the rain, right?”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
This meeting for the Sumeru Society might have been one of the most important ones of the year thus far, with almost every committee member expected to attend. After all, the annual ball was a big event that always had the largest turnout, and the amount of planning that goes into it to ensure its success is almost triple that of its other events.
So why weren’t you here?
“Why did you leave the meeting early on Friday?” Alhaitham asks as soon as he sees you.
You pause briefly, eyes widening and eyebrows raising. It must have been the way that Alhaitham’s voice raised a pitch towards the end of the question, demonstrating a nervous break in character that was not at all typical. Cool and collected would be the defining words to describe Alhaitham, as well as someone who does not care for the menial activities of others, so what is he doing asking you? And why does he care so much?
“I, uh, had dinner with someone,” you confess, continuing to grab your books and laptop, missing the way his features contort into something un-cool, and very un-Alhaitham.
“Whom?”
You murmur the name of some other guy, who he vaguely recalls to be your project partner.
“What?” Alhaitham snaps.
“I didn’t think missing out on some of the meeting would be a big deal! I got another committee member to explain what I missed,” you justified. “Besides, there’s no big events going on right now, so I thought-”
“-That you could abandon your tasks and go have fun with someone else?”
Alhaitham’s not really sure why he said that. He’s not angry that you skipped a meeting; there are larger things in the world to worry about, he’s angry because you spent time with another guy that wasn’t him.Why not go to dinner with him instead? He spends it every night with Kaveh, and you are far more favourable than Kaveh.  
“Is it really something to get mad over? I already told you, I got the meeting notes and everything-”
“-You’re an executive of the society, Y/n, more is expected from you.”
“Seriously?” you ask, “how come you didn’t bat an eye when the vice president wasn’t there the other day?”
“Because she was sick.” 
“Okay, fine! what about the subcommittee? they’re not always there either!” 
“They’re subcom. Whether they miss a meeting or not is not crucial.”
“So, it’s just my business that you care about?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed, disbelief clouding over your expression like a mask.
Again, Alhaitham doesn’t know where these punches are coming from and why he’s throwing them against you so viciously, but his heart is tightening defensively with a burning emotion that he’s been feeling more and more recently, and his first instinct is to lash out, to protect himself from it.
Perhaps it’s because foreign things that he can’t understand terrify him and you, all you ever do is make him feel things that he’s never felt before and he can’t understand why. 
“You’re not that special.”
A flash of hurt gleams in your eyes and Alhaitham knows now that he’s royally fucked up. “You’re an ass,” you grumble, about to walk away when he intercepts.
“Listen to me!”
“Fuck off!” 
“Y/n-”
You’re gone before he can get another word out, retreating figure stomping away whilst his chest weaves into knots; something that no amount of deep breathing can calm. It doesn’t help that the minute he returns home, Kaveh is onto him like some sort of parasite, curious over the tense air surrounding his normally-composed roommate. 
“Hey, welcome home- whoa, what’s gotten into you?” The blond asks.
“None of your business,” Alhaitham grumbles through gritted teeth, taking his shoes off and throwing them aside haphazardly. Kaveh doesn’t miss the way Alhaitham’s jaw is clenched, or the strain in his hand when he brings up a hand to run through his hair, or the very subtle and minute twitch in his cheek.
The blond ignores all signs that he wants to be left alone, and instead, follows the grey-haired to his room after he swung the door open. 
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, let’s talk about this-”
“Talk about what?” Alhaitham growls.
“Who pissed in your black coffee today?” 
“No one. Now get lost.” 
“Aw, come on, you know what they say. Getting things off your chest is always beneficial.”
“There’s nothing on my chest, go away.”
“You sure? no stress, no deadlines, no love interest making you tear your hair out-”
“-No, no, none of those!”
“Then what?”
Alhaitham steadies himself by resting his elbows on his thighs, hands clasped together as he exhales loudly. “I got pissed and took it out on Y/n, who’s mad at me now.”
“Huh? Why so annoyed?”
“Because Y/n went to dinner with another man.”
It’s silent for a while. The sassy quip that he expects from Kaveh does not happen. Instead, the blond merely smiles, a satisfied, knowing grin that slightly irks him. “You know, I’ve been waiting for the day you realise you have feelings for Y/n.” 
“What? Where did you get that conclusion from?” Alhaitham sits up straighter. There are a lot of things he knows, and he knows for sure that he does not like you in any way beyond platonic. He doesn’t have any time to spare for love. There are scholarships he still needs to apply for, internships to be interviewed for, research projects to submit- nowhere amongst the minute hand of the clock is there space for love. 
“Oh come on,” Kaveh sits down on the bed beside his roommate, leaning back on his hands. “You’re not as smooth as you hope to be sometimes.”
“I’m serious, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Y’know the sooner you accept you have feelings for Y/n, the easier life will be.”
“Life is already easy and there is no sooner because I don’t like Y/n like that. Now get lost. I have stuff I need to finish.”
Kaveh shrugs, standing up with a soft ‘suit yourself’, taking seven steps before he’s out of the room. Alhaitham lets out a sigh that has lodged itself in his throat for too long, and the feeling of reprieve he gets is short-lived before he’s flooded with a certain tightness again. Maybe he did have a weight on his chest after all, not that he’d ever admit it to himself or Kaveh.
He gets up from his made bed with a grunt and decides to push aside all distractions. Time is unforgiving, and if doesn’t finish his assignment by this Friday then he’ll be a little less than pleased.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Alhaitham feels like he can’t breathe. 
You’re sitting alone at a library desk, all focused and concentrated on your laptop screen with your headphones on, blocking out any outside voice as you type away. He wonders if he should say hi, maybe try apologising for the way he acted last Monday- who is this guy that’s approaching you and why does he look so familiar? 
And why are you smiling so happily?
You beckon to the seat beside you and the guy readily complies, taking the chair beside you like he belonged there, like there weren’t other candidates that should be there instead (he’s not talking about himself. definitely not).
He hands you one of two coffee cups he’s holding. What kind of right does this guy have to give you a coffee? Does he even know your order?
He feels like a bit of creep keenly watching you interact with someone else from a balcony of the library, but the book and laptop in front of him lies forgotten, and in a rare moment of weakness, Alhaitham can’t find it in himself to return to his tasks, pursuit of knowledge momentarily forgotten. He can’t push aside the bile that threatens to rise, he can’t loosen his grip on the couch’s armrest, and he can’t blink for a second in fear of losing you from his sight.
(You’re laughing. Why are you laughing? How can you look so pretty laughing and why doesn’t he ever get to make you laugh like this?)
Alhaitham is losing his damn mind. So much so that the first thing he does when he sees you again is corner you. 
“You shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.”
You’re backed against the brick walls of the time-worn building that your shared lecture always takes place in, and Alhaitham, spotting you like a hawk, put you in this precarious position as soon as the two hours were over. 
He can’t breathe. It’s been almost three weeks since you last spoke to him and you’re staring up at him like you’ve done nothing wrong, blinking once and twice at his uncharacteristic display of subtle aggression. 
“Who?” you mutter, shaking your head to try and grasp reality once again. you hug your laptop closer to your body. “What’s this about?”
“I said you shouldn’t talk to that guy anymore.” 
“What guy?” 
“Your project partner.”
“Really?” you mutter in disbelief.
He nods, teal eyes shining at you firmly. “Really. The project’s over, you don’t need to talk to him anymore.” 
“I don’t recall ever giving you the right to dictate who gets to be in my life or not, just like how you can’t tell me what to do with my time.” 
“I’m looking out for you, so stop trying to make me sound tyrannical.” 
Your mouth hangs open as you furrow your eyebrows, growing more and more frustrated with each second. So much for thinking that he wanted to resolve the awkwardness between the two of you. “I’m not even going to argue with you,” you murmur a quick ‘jerk’ under your breath before brushing past him. 
Alhaitham, however, is not willing to let you go as easily as you wish, quick to chase after you. Not that you go far anyways, turning around to face him again in the spaciousness of the vacant hallway. “Why do you care?” You ask, exasperated. “You’re Alhaitham, you don’t let trivial things like who I hangout with bother you, you’re cool and collected and rational, and I just don’t understand why you’re acting like this.”
He doesn’t understand either, not the erratic beating of his heart, the stubbornness of his mind, nor this undisputable urge to keep you all to himself. Is it normal to want to hide someone for selfish reasons?
Trailing off, Alhaitham is slightly humiliated that for the first time in his life, someone has witnessed him coming short of an answer. No logical conclusion, no explanation, not even a satisfying quip, just plain, suffocating silence.
“Right. When you do have an answer, let me know.” You walk away.
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Your last rebuttal still weighs heavily on Alhaitham’s mind, even two days later as he and Kaveh are seated for a lecture in a shared course. His thoughts are scrambled like never before, the messiness of it all making him feel uneasy because for once, he doesn’t have an appropriate answer to a question.
Why was he acting like a temperamental teenager? What you did with your life was up to you, and indeed he has no right trying to change that. More importantly, why was it so hard to apologise for the stuff he said-
“So, how’s everything between you and Y/n?” 
Kaveh turns to him with widened eyes whilst Alhaitham’s poker face doesn’t move an inch, deceivingly apathetic.
“Good, we’ve been hanging out a lot more recently,” the other guy says, who Alhaitham quickly recognises to be your project partner and distaste rises in his stomach like bile. 
“Aye, good for you, man! So when are you going to ask Y/n out?”
“No way, bro, not yet. I’m such a wimp, but I hope I grow the balls to ask soon because I really like-”
“-looks like you got some competition!” The blond nudges Alhaitham, and if it were anyone else, they would not have glanced twice at the grey-haired who seemed unmoving and uninterested. However, Kaveh is not anyone else because he noticed the darkened look in Alhaitham’s eyes instantly, anger seeping into his composed gaze as his nose scrunches in disgust. 
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
“So, you and Alhaitham still aren’t talking?” Kaveh asks, leaning on the table of the restaurant with curious ears, hoping that he can grab some answers out of you as to why there was a stalemate between you and his roommate.
“Nope,” you sigh. 
“Why not?”
“I’m just-” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “I’m just waiting on an apology from him.”
“An apology? Why? What did he say?”
“He didn’t tell you?”
“You know how he is. Always insufferably secretive, so no, I don’t know anything that happened.” 
“Alhaitham just said some hurtful things to me, and he was being weird when I told him I was going to dinner with a friend of mine. Just kept being in my business.”
“Really?” The architecture student quirks a brow, confusion plastered on his face. “That’s not like Alhaitham at all.”
“I know, right? He kept trying to be like ‘don’t hang out with him’ and ridiculed me for not playing my part as an executive of the Sumeru society,” you complained, “like sorry I have other things I want to do.”
Kaveh nods in understanding as the conversation briefly stops when the waiter comes to drop off utensils at your table. As soon as they were gone, however, you begin again.
“And even though he was all up in my business, trying to tell me what not to do, he then said that I wasn’t special, which is so confusing because like-”
“-hold on. Alhaitham said that you weren’t special?” You nod at his parroted claim. “To him?” 
“Yeah. Stung like shit when he said that, especially since I thought we were friends but guess not,” you murmur sadly, fiddling with the fork.
Later that night, almost immediately after meeting you over dinner, Kaveh barges into his roommate’s room, not even changing out of his outside clothes. The sudden intrusion shocks Alhaitham who was busy typing on a document, textbook splayed open beneath him but momentarily forgotten as the blond takes a seat on the bed.
“What the- not even a hello?” The grey-haired asks, confused by this uncharacteristic silence of Kaveh’s. It’s pretty normal for the blond to barge into his room without notice, but it was not normal for him to be so quiet, practically brooding on the mattress. “Whatever. Where have you been? Have you eaten yet, because I made-”
“When will you just confess to Y/n?”
The mention of your name causes a spike in Alhaitham’s heartbeat and he swivels around instantly, attention fully directed towards his roommate. “Where is this coming from?”
“Y/n told me everything that happened between you two by the way-”
“-what, when?”
“Tonight, we just met for dinner.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“What would you have done if you knew? Showed up and made things worse?” He doesn’t say anything in retaliation, merely shutting his mouth and furrowing his eyebrows. “Why did you say that Y/n wasn’t special to you?” 
“I didn’t,” Alhaitham sighs, very loud and very perplexed. “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did.”
“Don’t you miss Y/n? You two used to hangout so often.”
“I do, of course I do!” He exclaims, burrowing his face in his hands. 
“So why aren’t you apologising?” 
“Because whenever I’m around Y/n, I’m not who I normally am,” he mutters, “especially everything whenever that project partner is around-”
“Jealous, much?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Oh come on, you’re ridiculous. Stop pushing away your feelings and just be honest with yourself, Alhaitham! Y/n is not just a friend to you and you know it.”
“But, we are just friends-”
“So you mean to tell me that if I hung out with someone else- like if I hung out with Cyno, you would be pissed?”
“What? No, of course not.”
“Then why is it different with Y/n?” Once again, Alhaitham doesn’t have an answer to the question, sitting as still as a statue hunched over his desk. “Fine, I’ll spell it out to you. You like Y/n, more than just a friend!”
The silence leftover from Kaveh’s outburst is tense and full as the grey-haired lets the words sink in. 
“I’ll let you think about it,” the blond murmurs, voice softening dramatically as he stalks out of the room. Before he closes the door, however, he leaves a few final words. “Just- be honest with yourself, Alhaitham, and I wouldn’t delay trying to talk to Y/n.”
A sharp click rings through the room.
Alhaitham is no stranger to being alone, for who needs the company of others when you are happiest by yourself? Yet, in the weeks that you have not been speaking to him, a cardinal urge as been growing each and each day, wanting him to do something so atypical of him: to reach out and make the first move. Every passing day doesn’t lessen the thoughts that plague his mind, rather, they make him more and more impatient, because what if you get swept away by your project partner? 
(What if he’ll be too late? What if you won’t know of these powerful emotions that are steering through the storm in his heart? What if you won’t know just how badly he was been wanting you- wanting to see you, wanting to apologise, wanting to see you beam at him like you always would.
What if you won’t know that he adores you, especially now that he’s figured it out?).
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
A rain droplet falls and lands on your nose, another lands on your forehead, then another lands on your lip then more and more keep falling from the cloudy sky, falling through the leaves and landing on the bench you were currently sitting on. Goodness, you should have checked the weather before leaving your dorm. Why was it now out of all times that it had to rain, what would Alhaitham think after he finally decided to reach out to talk?
Taking your phone out to message the grey-haired about relocating, an umbrella is suddenly held over you, stopping the gentle drizzle from falling onto you. Looking up, you’re greeted by a familiar face that you have been missing too much recently.
“Hello, you,” you breathe, voice gentle and quiet and Alhaitham feels like he can finally breathe after so long, the scent of rain washing away all perplexion.
He nods at you in greeting before offering you the bouquet of flowers he was holding. A gorgeous arrangement of pink of white stare prettily at you and a man even more gorgeous expects you to accept it.
“For me?” You ask.
“For you.”
“Thank you, they’re so beautiful,” you take his gift with gentle hands, holding it close to your chest. 
“I want to apologise,” he firmly states, getting straight to the point; very Alhaitham of him. “For treating you the way I have been recently.”
You beam at him, so bright and so gorgeous that it renders him speechless, a feat pretty difficult when it comes to someone like Alhaitham who has a whole dictionary of words, in multiple languages too. Somehow, they all flock out of his mind the second you smile at him.  
“I accept your apology, thank you for reaching out, must have been hard for someone like you, huh?” You tease, standing up from the bench.
“Well, I had do for someone as special as you.” The grey-haired’s voice is deceivingly confident and assured, but you know better, especially when he looks away to hide his expression with his neatly styled bangs. 
“No need for the flattery, you know, I’ve already forgiven you.” There’s a moment of silence that occupies the air, caused by Alhaitham’s hesitation as he fishes his brain for the courage to ask you out. You speak before he can get a word out, however. “I got asked out the other day.”
“By your groupmate?”
“He has a name, you know, but, yeah. I rejected him, though,” you laugh awkwardly, almost like you were trying to cope with it by playing it off. “Did you know that he would do that?” 
“Yes. I did.”
“Is that why you were so adamant on me not hanging out with him?”
“I guess you could say that. We can talk more about it another time,” he tells you, voice gentle and caring to mask the subtle hit of jealousy he feels in his chest, scolding himself for letting someone else confess to you before him. However, it’s a minute sensation in comparison to the triumph Alhaitham feels knowing that you rejected the other party. 
“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”
“We do, but I want to ask you something first.” 
You nod, hugging the bouquet closer to your chest, anticipation heavy in the air as you spur him to continue. 
“If I asked you out, would you reject me too?”
A mere second passes by where you don’t respond, yet the second stretches out to what feels like eternity as Alhaitham’s stomach churns. Patience is something he doesn’t lack, but how can he be patient when his heart wants you so bad? 
Then, you take his hand, and the heavens sing at the feeling of your hand in his. “I wouldn’t, but are you asking me out?”
“Are you free right now?”
“I am. Why?”
“Let’s go out then. On a date.”
“I'd love to.” You rise up to place a lingering kiss on his cheek, one that has his heart racing with joy rather than frustration.
The smile you earn is gentle, shy, but says more than Alhaitham's words ever can.
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© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
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jamminvroomvroom · 2 months
Text
no more mister shy guy.
OP x fem!reader
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in which you can’t work out why he just won’t sleep with you
i am neither normal, nor am i hinged! i hope you guys get the vision, i literally wrote this last night possessed by some feral urge bc i just love oscar sm and i’ve been needing to write for him sooo baaad. enjoy! pls lemme know what you think <3
songs to set the vibes: delicate by taylor swift, good looking by suki waterhouse, my kind of woman by max demarco, feeling myself by wolf alice
warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, pwp but also there is some plot? overstimulation, crying in a hot way, choking, unprotected sex (L bozo don’t do that!) the most minor moment of angst, fluff
2.8k words
you watch him make coffee, daydreaming, balancing your heavy head on your hand. you study him while your free hand taps against the kitchen counter, nails drumming a random beat. sunlight streams through a gap in the curtains, framing him golden. you don’t think he knows how pretty he is.
oscar is oblivious to the way your mind is ticking behind him, twisting the cap on the carton of oat-milk. you hear the plastic fall onto the counter and your tongue wets your lower lip as he reaches up into the cupboard, his back flexing beneath his shirt as he finds your favourite mug. you realise then how swollen your lip is, snapped out of the trance he had you in, the one that had you biting your lip so hard, completely mindlessly.
he’s bulked up over the winter break, filled out a lot over the course of his rookie season. he’s no longer the scrawny, anxious guy you’d met at your fathers work event a year ago, he’s broader, thicker in your hands, utterly delicious. as much as you like the way he looks, you like his mind a whole lot more. if only you knew what was going on inside it.
oscar is an enigma, quiet, hilariously dry, the kindest man you’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. you’ve been together since the start of the winter break, november, after awkward run ins and plenty of pining since the start of his first season. you’d travel to races with your dad, a mclaren sponsor, and run into the australian, stare at each other and pretend no one noticed. after months of teasing from lando, oscar finally got the kick up the arse that he needed and you’d said yes to dinner before he’d even finished asking the question.
it’s february now, a week til he needs to be in bahrain. the last three months had been serene, spent with a man made of sunshine, and you’re sad to see him go, as if you won’t be in the emirates a mere four days after him. you fear the way you’ll ache for him, having been inseparable since the dinner that started it all.
but then again, it can’t be worse than the way you ache for him now.
“sweetheart?” oscar is waving his hand in front of your face when you realise he’s been calling your name for a good 15 seconds, and you have, in fact, been staring. hm? you jump, staring at him bewildered. he looks amused. “you okay?” he coos, sliding the coffee across the island towards you.
“yeah, sorry, i, um, i just- why won’t you have sex with me?” you blurt, slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as you realise what you’ve just said.
oscar just blinks, mouth forming a little o, the permanent blush he seems to have increasing tenfold. you instantly feel guilty for ambushing him, but you were at the end of your tether. three months of nothing, nada, zilch. every move you made was refuted, ignored as if he was oblivious. you were ravenous for him, he’s so gorgeous! and you didn’t want to pressure him, but you were starting to feel like there was something wrong with you.
you’d wake up in bed with him wrapped around you, grinding against your ass in his sleep, and you’d revel in it, the rare times that he actually seemed to want you like that. you loved him regardless, of course you did, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t need to be… dealt with. urgently.
“i- um- what?” oscar splutters, and the bottom of his mug blinks against the granite.
“is there something wrong with me? am i not pretty enough?” you whisper, shy. “do you just not… like- do you not want to do that?” you ramble.
panic fills his face, and he’s rushing around the island, by your side in an instant. he takes your hands into his, finding your eyes. they’ve grown watery, a mixture of guilt and desperation swirling in them which makes him feel ill.
“baby, no, god no.” he rushes the words out, desperate to convince you that it wasn’t you. “you’re the most beautiful person in the entire world, prettiest girl i ever saw.” he promises. “i’m just… it’s scary.”
“oh, osc.” your face falls, and you want to throw yourself off of the balcony. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pressure you. if it makes you feel better, i’m scared too. but i love you so much, i just want to feel even closer to you.”
“you didn’t make me feel pressured, i’m just sorry i made you feel unwanted. trust me, i want you like that. drives me insane. but i’ve never had sex before with someone that i love. not the way i love you, anyway. scared that i won’t be good enough for you.” he murmurs.
you’re hung up on the part where you drive him crazy, the part where he loves you like that, and then you remember how vulnerable he’s being, baring his entire soul to you, and you rip yourself from the fantasy.
your hands smooth over his shoulders, until you’re softly fisting a clump of hair at the nape of his neck.
“i love you. insanely. we’ll go slow.” you state. he moulds further against you, and you quickly realise it’s for leverage, because the next thing you know, you’re in his arms. he has his hands hooked under your thighs and he’s kissing you so, so deeply that you’re dizzy. you don’t realise that you’re halfway to his bedroom until he pulls away.
“i don’t wanna go slow anymore.”
oscar places you on your feet at the end of his bed, the large, plush king-sized mattress that is currently calling both of your names. your blouse gets unbuttoned first, his hands shaking in a way that makes you melt, and his lips trail over every inch of bare skin that he uncovers. when it finally falls to the floor, his pupils are blown wide, his hands palming intricate black lace. your jeans are stripped away mercilessly, his hands shaking less now, and you take it as a sign to crawl backwards onto the bed.
he stands there, watching you, apprehensive again. you can see how hard he is, how desperately strained his cock is through the light grey of his sweatpants, and so you switch tactics. your hand grazes your tummy, skimming up your abdomen until you reach a bra strap. you toy with the elastic, holding the kind of eye contact that makes him twitch, tugging it until it hangs loosely off of your shoulder.
“i need you, osc. i trust you.” you utter, soft and enticing. one finger runs under the cup of your bra, flicking over your nipple. he can just about see the hardened bud through the lace of your bra. it’s not enough, though, and every ounce of self control depletes when you whine, “want you inside of me so badly.”
the elastic band snaps and he’s on top of you, rutting between your legs like a man starved. you drag his shirt up and over his shoulder blades, moaning as you feel each and every muscle under your fingertips.
“just wanna make you feel good.” oscar rasps, rolling his hips even harder into your core.
“take these off.” you beg, pulling at the waistband of his joggers. he somehow musters the strength to pry himself off of you, just long enough to discard the uncomfortable material of his sweats, but as soon as he looks down, his plans change.
painted over the crotch of them is a shiny pool of your slick, and when his eyes flit hungrily to your core, he sees where you’ve soaked through your panties. you’re panting when you see the stain, and you just want to get him inside of you, but his priorities have changed. oscar collapses between your legs, head buried, tongue exploring.
he groans, carnal and needy, into the fabric of your underwear, laving his tongue over the lace. your eyes widen as he dives in, licking over the wet patch until he grows frustrated. you hear the tearing of the fabric, feel his big hands pawing at your thighs to spread them as wide as they’ll go. his tongue slides right inside of you and he whines. he fucking whines. the vibration nearly makes you scream. you can’t believe this is your oscar, the same oscar that had quivered with nerves a mere five minutes ago.
“oh my god.” you chant, rolling your hips against his face. you must be all over him by now, what with the way he’s sucking and slurping, obscene sounds of wetness sounding around the room. you’d be blushing a deep red if you weren’t so turned on, shaking against his bedspread which will probably need changing once he’s done with you.
you thought that maybe he was inexperienced and that was the source of his fear, but if he was, you never would have known. he was a natural in between your legs, nipping at your clit to get you even louder for him.
you cum faster than ever, and he’s mumbling something incoherent into your pussy when you do. you’re riding the high, midway through the bliss, when a thick finger slips its way inside of you. oscar realises that he can easily slide another in, and he does. he doesn’t thrust them in and out, he grinds them against your walls, and your mouth falls open as a silent scream forces it’s way out.
you cum a second time, in record time yet again, and he still doesn’t let up. he’s hitting that spot relentlessly with his fingers, keeping your clit between his swollen lips, and you’re begging him. for what, you’re not sure, but you’re whimpering his name like you’re going to die. and what a good way to go this would be.
his eyes meet yours, and he looks unhinged. that’s when you feel it. that all consuming, belly twisting rush.
“oscar!” you try to warn him, but it’s too late, and he knows it. he makes you squirt, because of course he does. the shy guy who was scared that he wouldn’t be able to please you makes you squirt.
he pulls his mouth off of you but keeps his fingers buried deep, eyes fixed on watching the way your pussy convulses.
“holy shit.” you cry. you’re staring down at him like you’ve gone insane. he’s smiling innocently.
“was that good?” he almost sounds shy and you want to kick him.
“are you… are you serious?” you rasp. oscar just shrugs. “get up here.” you reach for him and complies, slotting himself between your legs once more.
oscar resumes the rolls of his hips, and the friction of the grey fabric against your core makes your eyes roll back.
“please, oscar, fuck me.” you whine, his head falling into the crook of your neck. he bites down, leaving behind the sting of his teeth and a faint purple splotch.
“fucking love you.” he slurs, his accent thickening in a way that makes him sound that extra bit fucked out already.
“i love you.” you murmur, forcing his sweats down his legs. his boxers are wet, just like your panties were, and you can’t help but stare. oh, it’s big.
his boxers are peeled down and you can feel yourself throbbing. his cock hangs heavy, red and dripping, painfully hard. you reach for it, looking at him to make sure it’s okay to touch, and he’s rapidly nodding his head. your small hand struggles but you make it work, and his head tips back, exposing his thick neck that you want to suck purple. your hand works over him a few times, and a visible shiver running through his body makes you stop.
“you ready for me?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“please.” you gasp, locking your legs around his waist. “however you want me, ‘m yours.” you breathe.
oscar’s eyes roll back in his head, your words sending his brain blank, and then he’s pushing home, slow and deep.
“fucking hell.” he groans, guttural. you’re so tight, warm, soaking wet. he feels like the biggest idiot in the world for waiting so long for this.
“oh.” you gasp, your eyebrows knitting together. he’s so deep. “so full.” you pant.
“can you take it, sweetheart?” oscar’s lips bump your jaw. “want you to take it.” you nod profusely, desperate to hear him run his mouth even further. your eyes clench shut when you feel him move, just the tiniest bit, readjusting.
“move.” you plead. he’s staring down at you, watching every single micro movement of your face.
oscar pulls out the smallest bit and thrusts back in, nice and slow. the drag drives you feral, the weight of him on top of you makes you weak. you want to stay like this until the end of days.
“good?” he hisses, trying to keep composed. he’s finally inside of you, claiming you as his in the most intimate way of all. he tries not to think about how many times he could have had you begging under him in the last three months.
“so good, so good.” you repeat, pushing your hips up to try and meet his.
“so pretty like this for me. always so, so pretty.” he rambles. he realises that he never quite made it as far as getting your bra off, and he needs to see all of you. the cups are tugged haphazardly down, and oscar stares at your breasts like he’s never seen tits before. you hear him hum, low and greedy, and then you feel the wet drag of his tongue across your nipple.
the animalistic whine that he rips from you makes him thrust harder, upping his pace a bit. he can hear how much wetter you get when he picks up his pace, and he changes up his rhythm, pushing all the way in and dragging out again at lightning speed. your jaw goes slack and your eyes are damp.
“baby, what’s wrong?” oscar slows to a stop, and you want to scream.
“no, no, no, keep going.” you choke out, your throat constricting with a sob. “it’s so good. feel so good.” you sound drunk, all for him, and he loses his mind completely.
he taps into that athletic stamina, fucking into you with a newfound vigour that you didn’t think was humanly possible, and you feel things that you didn’t even know you could feasibly feel. you see stars behind your eyes, his face, and nothing else but bright white. calloused fingers find your clit, and you wonder fleetingly if he’s trying to kill you when he rubs messy shapes into the much too overstimulated bud. his teeth graze your nipple, and everything seems to come together perfectly.
thick tears run hot down your cheeks, only to be licked away by eager tongue. your belly tightens, aflame for him; he’s wound your body up perfectly and you’ve never in your life teetered so dangerously over the edge.
“can feel you, baby. want you to cum, okay? ‘n then i’m gonna fill you up.” oscar grunts. you clamp down on him even tighter, thanking god for oscar’s filthy fucking mouth and birth control, and then everything snaps.
you think you scream, you know that you’re sobbing, and your throat is raw when the wave hits. oscar keeps going, intensifying your pleasure, and when he finally let’s go, it’s the most beautiful fucking thing you’ve ever seen. it’s surreal, the way his neck flexes, eyes clenched tight, brown locks flopping over his sweat damped forehead. and the sounds he makes, god. he’s muttering into your ear, lewd and shameless, and a fifth orgasm nearly takes you under.
“gonna need you everyday like this, tight fucking pussy, all mine. can’t live without this now. fucking perfect.” he’s rambling, burrowing deep into you one last time. you feel his warmth spilling into you, feel his hot breath fanning your face. he licks into your awaiting mouth.
“fuck.” you giggle, breathless.
“good?” he raises an eyebrow, grinning bashfully.
“more than worth the wait.” you whisper, mustering the strength to lift your head just enough so that you can peck his lips. “you better not hold out on me ever again though.” oscar laughs at that and you feel the rumble in your flushed chest.
“you promise?” there’s the shy guy again.
“osc, honey, that was the best. ever. ever. need you to be mr sex god more often.”
“only if you behave for me.” he smirks down at you.
“there he is.” you sigh happily.
when he snakes his way back between your legs, lapping up the mess he’s made, and then some, you wonder just what you’ve unleashed.
-
whoops? lol
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taglist
@thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @spideylovin @charli123456789
(run outta space on my taglist lol, lemme know if u wanna be added or removed)
3K notes · View notes
boyfhee · 2 months
Text
이희승 、PRETTY GIRL
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featuring ⋆ bsf!heeseung, hints at friends with benefits
warnings ⋆ slightly suggestive, use of endearments, profanities, jealously on heeseung's side, toxic undertones? i'm not too sure on this one ( 0.9k )
notes ⋆ something has been so so wrong with me recently i can't come up with anything that doesn't involve making out
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“hee, how do i look?” 
heeseung is sprawled on your couch, scrolling through his phone when he looks up at you, raising an eyebrow. you’re waiting for his response and he’s taking his time— eyeing you up and down, the way that pretty dress hugs your body. you’ve even done your makeup, flaunting that lip tint you had bought recently, that makes your lips ten times more kissable. you never dressed like this for him.
he sighs, putting his phone aside, and sits up straight, not a single emotion on his face. “are you going to the library to study or on a date?”
“ah, did i over do it?” and you’re asking in the cutest and quietest voice, looking down at your outfit and oh how much he wants to tell you how gorgeous you look. 
but you aren’t all dolled up for him. it’s for your project partner— that asshole you have also been studying with for finals for over a week now. and it’s ridiculous how he— or anyone of those losers around you think they stand a chance, when you end up in his arms every night, at the end of all. 
“no,” yes, he wanted to say. “not at all,” so pretty for someone who’s not me.
he gets up from the couch and makes his way to you— you look prettier up close. heeseung is aware of it. he wants it to be his little secret, who even does your study guy or whatever thinks he is? heeseung takes your hands and pulls you closer, just looking at you, admiring you. maybe he should keep his pretty little best friend all to himself.
and you don’t even mind since you’re used to this. the closeness, subtle touches, holding hands, comfort, advice— it’s what best friends are for. “but you said i look like i’m going on a date.” 
he chuckles at your cute reaction, the pout, the slight frown. how cute. it’s adorable how you always take his words seriously, he’s the one person you can rely on, who you trust blindly. sometimes, heeseung feels bad for having feelings for you. would you even care if he confessed? or would you just cut him off? he’s your precious best friend after all, who you’ve known since you two were toddlers. 
“i meant to say that you look too pretty,” is he even allowed to feel this way?
you laugh softly at his words, a bit flustered at his words even though he has complimented you a thousand times. “well, i’ll get going then, ‘seung,”
truthfully, it’s also your fault. 
those smiles and giggles, your gaze that searches for him in a crowded room. you never forget to invite him to a group hangout, it’s one benefit of being friends with your friends. those nicknames you call him and only him. he’s the one you run to when you have problems. you live in his apartment more than your dorm— it’s your fault for making him feel all this. for making him like this.
you try to pull your hand back to leave, but instead he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, pressing himself against you. this is wrong, you know, he knows. too bad, it’s not the first time. worse, he doesn’t care. 
“hee—” you gasp in surprise, but your words end up coming out as a sigh once he presses his lips against your neck. he can feel your hands on his shoulders, trying to push him away and the swift motion in which they instinctively wrap around him. and you do realise it’s your fault. you always end up giving in anyway. it’s a bad, vicious habit— he pulls, you push, and then give in, and the way you react to things he does drives him insane.
sure, your project partner could wait for a while. he doesn’t deserve you anyway. 
“you’re so pretty, angel,” he whispers next to your ear, giving it a soft nibble before pulling back and looking at you with those enchanting eyes and a smile that sends your heart into a whirlwind. he calls you angel like it’s your name, and he whispers compliments ever so softly and sweetly. it’s what you had asked him for— to tell you how you look, and heeseung is good at doing that. he has got your back. “so gorgeous,”
it’s what best friends are for. 
the next thing your mind registers is his sweet lips on yours, the taste of cherries and vanilla from the shortcakes you two had earlier lingering on your tongue, and then your mind goes blank. you’re pulling him closer, he’s busy savouring your taste, taking in your every breath, every little sound you make as he kisses you so well.
heeseung bets that guy you’re so excited to spend time with can’t even make you feel half of what you’re feeling. you’re always going to end up coming back to him for more. after all, no one knows what you want better than heeseung.
the sound of your phone ringing snaps him out of his thoughts. he looks at your slightly red lips as you reach out for your phone, but heeseung beats you to it. he grabs your phone and grins when he sees the caller ID— it’s your study buddy— hands caressing your cheeks as he answers with a smirk. “sorry, my girl will be a bit late today. hope you don’t mind,”
he hangs up, phone somewhere around, and his lips are back on yours again.
1K notes · View notes
kasagia · 5 days
Text
Right hand III
Pairing: Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!exBeneGesserit! reader Summary: After Feyd learns the truth about your dark past, you do everything in your power to prove your loyalty to him. He has many ideas for this... but will your life be able to go back to normal after that? You will either die at his hands, be exiled, return to the Bene Gesseit, or live by his side. And you yourself don't even know which of these options is worse... Warning: 18+; violence; blood; Feyd Rautha; death; fight; brutality; smut; Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist
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His dagger digs lightly into your neck, blood slowly trickling down it. You don't try to fight him, you don't push the blade away or try to rip it out of his hand. You know that if you did, you would have been killed by him long ago.
You had to play it smart… and fast—before he slit your throat, which was becoming a more likely scenario with every second.
"Feyd…" You choke out once more, trying to make him look you in the eyes and get him to listen to you. The blood is seeping out of you faster and faster as he presses the blade harder against your throat.
"Silience, witch! You little plague, bane of my existence, poisonous viper, how long have you been playing with me? How long have you been faking all this? Did you think you could outsmart me? That you can deceive me? Make fun of me? Humiliate me? I should fuck you raw, use you like a whore, and leave you in your ridiculous sisterhood to rot with those old hags!" He shouts, pressing his blade harder against your throat. The cool steel of the metal on your skin is becoming a more serious threat to your life. You shiver as you feel him taking more blood from you.
"Feyd, listen…" You try to speak again, placing your hand on his wrist. He pushes your hand away as if it posed a radioactive threat greater than anything floating in Giedi Prime's atmosphere and glares at you furiously.
"NO! You lied to me. You betrayed me. You know how I punish people for disloyalty. You're lucky that I won't throw you to my soldiers so they can play with you before I give you to my harpies. But don't worry, I will take very good care of you. You'll die like those cowardly rats you helped me kill a few hours ago…"
"You... you would... kill me... if I told you... at the beginning..." You gasp as he grabs your neck tightly and drags his blade down your body, creating a trail of blood leading to your collarbone.
"I will kill you now." He growls hoarsely, completely cutting off the air from your respiratory tract.
Your eyes widen as he lifts you off the ground so that only your toes touch the floor. Tears well up in your eyes as you desperately try to draw in air, but his hand is wrapped too tightly around your neck for the oxygen to reach your lungs.
When you realised that it was over and that he had decided on your death, the moment that Lady Jessica told him the whole truth about you, you relaxed. You let a blissful emptiness wash over you as you slowly waited for him to take your life away. You close your eyes, rest your head against the wall behind you, and let your body slowly go limp as the seconds pass without air.
You gasp, surprised, as the grip on your neck loosens so that you can take small, ragged breaths. You quickly take advantage of the opportunity and take a few shaky breaths. You open your eyes, staring into Feyd's icy blue and furious gaze in utter shock.
Was he going to play with you before he killed you? Torture, like many before you, until he finds in himself some mercy and takes your life? Because if you know one thing, it's that you won't beg him to let you go. About nothing. Never. You were too proud to do so.
"Fight." He growls, pressing you harder against the wall. He leans forward, bringing his face very close to yours. You shiver, feeling his breath on your cheek as he carefully observes your reaction to his intimidation. Like a snake waiting for the right moment to attack.
"What?" You ask stupidly, not understanding what he is doing. You've often watched him play with his victims, prolonging their suffering and giving them no hope of escaping his grip... so why does he want you to fight? Why does he want you to resist him? Was this another sick game of his?
"Fight! Scream! Struggle! Why are you not doing anything?! Why don't you beg for your miserable life, Bene Gesserit's spy?! Fight with me! Fight back! FIGHT BACK!!" He screams and throws you against the wall.
Completely unprepared for him to completely release you from his grip, you fall to the floor, too weak to keep your balance on your own. You place your hands on the black metal sheet beneath you and breathe quickly, trying to get as much air as possible before he wraps his hand around your throat again.
"I… I was always… loyal… to you…" You gasp, still trying to recover from what just happened. He walks slowly towards you. He presses the tip of his sword under your chin and forces you to lift your head and look him in the eyes.
“You have five minutes before I treat you like I treat your mentor. Use this time well. I can always get bored and kill you faster.” He takes a step back and slowly slides the blade across your skin. He steps away from you to pour himself a drink, but he keeps watching you out of the corner of his eye. You take one brief glance at Lady Jessica's body before you can compose yourself enough to formulate any logical response.
"I... I have no idea what she told you. Where she lied and where it was convenient for her to tell the truth... but whatever she told you I did... she surely doesn't know the one, most important thing. She doesn't know the reason for my actions."
"Oh, but I do. You wanted to run away from them so you wouldn't have to breed with such a monster as me. You thought that as my right hand, you would be safe, that I wouldn't notice you in the shadows, that I wouldn't want you, and that I wouldn't touch you. But I did. And by doing so, I destroyed your plans. Tell me, how many times have you escaped from Giedi Prime in your fantasies? How many times have you wanted to leave for good?"
With each question he asks, he takes a step towards you, which makes him stand in front of you again. But you didn't get up from the floor. You didn't feel like it. Besides, you doubted he would let you stand up and be on an equal level with him. He needed to feel in control, to feel that he is still dominating over you—that he didn't lose control over you despite your... betrayal. Although you didn't think it was any kind of betrayal at all. A slight omission of a few facts. Nothing more.
"I... you can't blame me for that. Anyone with survival instincts would not willingly live on Giedi Prime. But I stayed." You decide to tell him some of the truth this time. For too long, you managed to play your cards well. You had to bend a little to his will without losing your claw and not behaving like an obedient concubine, wanting to fulfil all his orders and wishes, because that would make him more suspicious, and he would definitely kill you for trying to deceive him and lie to him again.
"You stayed out of fear." He questions your words, keeping his watchful, piercing gaze on you as he tries to find in you any trace of lying.
You almost shiver under the furious gaze of his icy blue eyes. Fortunately, you manage to refrain from showing him any reaction. The metallic scent of Lady Jessica's blood motivated you to survive like nothing had before. You somehow manage to recall some of your lessons and training sessions with her as you think about how to respond to Feyd's words. Maybe her methods and rules didn't keep her alive, but unlike her, you knew Feyda-Rautha too damn well. You could get out of this. You just had to play it smart and sacrifice a few things…
"Out of loyalty to you. Sense of duty and honor. Something I thought we both shared." You say confidently, meeting his gaze bravely.
However, your attitude does not impress him at all. He lazily turns the dagger in his hands, playing with the sharp blade. He doesn't take his eyes off you, even for a moment. He just stands there, maintaining a completely calm and unruffled demeanor. It's hard to imagine now that just a moment ago, this man was overcome with the greatest anger of his entire life. You've seen him in many states, but you have never seen him that mad. Rabban may have been called a beast by others, but the real threat was his younger brother. Especially when his first anger was over and it was time for the cold calculation of revenge.
“Was that loyalty and sense of duty also present in you when you chose to ignore the fact that you were supposed to be mine? That you are destined to give me an heir so strong that the whole world will kneel before him?” This time, you can't help but shudder. He notices this and chuckles darkly, shaking his head. In a split second, the tip of his blade is once again pressed on the thin and delicate skin of your throat. You swallow, and when you meet his gaze, you realise that you have to tell the truth if you don't want to die on your knees in front of him.
"If your uncle told you to marry me and have your offspring with me, would you do it?" A frown appears on his forehead at the mere mention of the baron. His hand trembles slightly as a new wave of rage washes over him.
"What does he have to do with this?" He asks hoarsely, as he suspects you of working with his uncle. After all, you were smart enough to play both sides.
Feyd wouldn't be surprised if you reported everything he was doing to his uncle behind his back. That's why he preferred having you—a cunning, beautiful witch who was now kneeling before him—by his side. Because you were drop-dead perfect. He never expected you to make such a stupid mistake. To ever let him gain even the slightest doubt about your loyalty.
"Nothing. But the Bene Gesserit were to me what your uncle is to you. And after running away from them, the last thing I wanted to do was follow the last sick order they gave me." The years you spent with him gave you enough information about the family relationship at House Harkonnen.
They are like predators waiting for the right moment to attack, always prepared to hurt the other one when he shows even a tiny glimmer of weakness. You also know Feyd's past... or rather, the history of scars on his back. Unfortunately, these were not the only marks the baron left on him.
You hold your breath as he grabs your hair and pulls you up. You get up on your feet, and, being on an equal level with him, you no longer hesitate to look him in the eye. He releases your hair with the other, only to move it to your cheek and neck. He rubs tiny droplets of blood across yours, shifting his attention to your skin. He caresses your jawline with his finger and suddenly tilts your head back, giving himself a better view of your reddened throat, which has begun to form bruises in the shape of his fingers from how he choked you just moments ago. You swallow, watching him closely.
"And yet you served me for many years. You stayed with me after they wanted to link your future with mine. Why?"
“I was hoping the last place they would look for me would be Giedi Prime by your side. And that… after all, you won't be interested in me.”
"But I was. This must have spoiled your plans, right?"
"A little." You confess, hoping to gain something from your honesty.
After your words, there is a long silence in the room. He removes his hand from you, staring intently at you as he considers your words. You wait in suspense and anticipation for his next decision.
One quick move was enough to take your life.
And from the look in his eyes, you know it must have been tempting for him to add your blood to Lady Jessica's, which was already staining the floor of the ship.
"On your knees." His command is so sudden that it takes you a moment for your brain to process what he said.
All you can do is stare at him blankly, your heart beating with excitement and terror at the thought of his words. He didn't want to… he couldn't now… You look down at his pants and swallow, seeing the slight bulge. You hold your breath as he takes a step towards you and presses his hard length against your thigh, which undoubtedly confirms your suspicions. He lifts your chin with two fingers, forcing you to look into his eyes as you blush and realise what he is asking you to do.
"I love your doe eyes, my pet, but there's a time and a place for everything. On your knees or your heart will become another decoration of my chambers." He says it huskily, caressing your chin before letting go. He stares at you expectantly, waiting for your next move.
You swallow again, feeling a huge lump in your throat. Your mind is racing, but you know, as he does, that you have no escape. Your position is hopeless; you can either give him a blowjob or die, and you don't want to do any of it. Or touch him in any way after he disembowelled Lady Jessica in front of you. But the prospect of being his next victim reluctantly brings you to your knees before him.
"Good girl." He hums, tilting your chin slightly so you're looking at him and not the floor between you. He takes a step towards you and attaches the dagger to his arm. "Show me that your beautiful, deceptive, tempting lips, throat, and larynx can do more than feed me with sweet lies, and maybe I won't cut them out of you."
You hold your breath, your eyes trailing down to his pants. You hear him chuckle darkly before he takes your hands in his and places them on the fastenings of his pants, guiding your hands as you gradually free his length from his armour.
You swallow again at the sight of his full, hard length and curse him, as the rumours about him do not lie at all. He was enormous. Long and not too thick, but not thin either. You don't know if you'd rather he tried to cut your throat with a knife than pierce it with what stood proud between you.
"Rumours say you know how to do it. I don't remember how many soldiers I killed for the privilege of having your body before me. But each of them shared one opinion. Your fire burns as bright in battle as it does in the bedroom. Show me, my little witch, how much you care about continuing to be my right hand and having all the privileges you had." He encourages you mockingly when you stare at his slightly pre-cum-dripping cock for too long for his liking. But damn, his cum was black. You were sure as hell that the bastard was going to paint you with it.
You give him an angry, cold glare as you wrap your hand around his length. He lets out a soft moan, grabbing your jaw to make sure you keep your eyes on his. You swallow, stroking his length with slow movements of your hand as he gets even harder. Part of you is glad that he wants you to look at him. You doubt you could keep your composure if you had to look at what you had to fit in your mouth… and hopefully only in your mouth.
He growls when you drag out the inevitable too long, using only your hands on him. You can see that he likes what you're doing, but the impatience radiating from him makes you realise that it won't end with just a few caresses of your hands around his length.
Reluctantly, you lean down and wrap your lips around his tip, sucking him gently—like candy. You taste his pre-cum on your tongue, surprisingly taking in its… not-so-horrible taste. It's bittersweet on your tongue and thick. You shudder at the thought of what he would feel like inside you.
He groans, burring his hands in your hair as he gently pushes you on him to make you take more of his cock into your mouth. You choke as his length suddenly hits the back of your throat. Surprisingly, he stops pushing you and just keeps his hands in your hair, letting you adjust to his full length.
"I've always liked your hair..." He starts tugging on them to correct your rhythm. "A natural leash for my beautiful, dangerous pet..."
You growl around him in anger at his words. He groans throatily, feeling his cock twitch in your mouth at the extra stimulation he got from you. You feel tears slowly begin to well up in your eyes as he allows himself to move his hips more and more, lazily thrusting into your throat. Your saliva mixes with his pre-cum, staining the corners of your mouth.
It amazes you how gentle he is with you. How he doesn't push you too far so as not to cause you the pain you know he loves to enjoy. More than once, you had to call the medic to his concubines. Even his harpies occasionally got injured when he used them for his pleasure after a particularly exciting fight. You knew how… he could get lost in his pleasure. Yet he was extremely careful with you.
He starts thrusting into your throat faster and faster, guiding your head by your hair in time with his thrusts. You let your tears fall as he picked up a pace you couldn't keep up with. You close your eyes and feel a tear roll down your cheek. You open them, meeting his gaze, when you feel his thumb brush away your falling tear. He licked it off his finger, purring at its salty flavour.
You wrap your hands around his balls, massaging them in a circular motion, trying to make him come as quickly as possible. He laughs throatily, pounding stupidly into your mouth. Your jaw starts to hurt. You prop yourself up on his thigh with one hand, unable to stay on your knees for long on your own.
Seeing that you're having difficulty, he slows down a little, lazily digging into your throat. He luxuriated in the warmth of your mouth, and your tongue caressed his length. His gaze never falters, as he maintains eye contact with you the entire time. He strokes your cheek with his hand, then moves to your throat as he gently uses his fingertips to feel the bulge in your throat caused by his cock.
"I'll take you. Fast and hard. You'll cry as beautifully as you do now and writhe beneath me desperately, trying to escape like always, but you'll be so impaled on my cock and wrapped in the tight embrace of my arms that you won't move a fucking millimetre without my permission. I will fuck into you our Kwisatz Haderach, so no one will ever doubt that it should have been otherwise, that you don't belong with me. And the best of all is that you will not know the damn day or hour when it will happen. You will learn how to be my whore and baroness, just like you learned how to be my right hand. You'll do great, my little witch. You prove very well with your mouth and hands what a wonderful right hand you are. Much better than my own fucking hand. Much better than any of the fantasies I had. My little witch, always attending to my every need. Only fucking mine."
He moans, speeding up drastically, chasing his peak. You feel him getting closer to his orgasm as he becomes impossibly harder in your mouth and his balls tighten, ready to release his black cum. He keeps making you look at him until he growls loudly, coming into your mouth.
Earlier, you were gagging with just his length in your mouth. Now you really choke as his seed spills down your throat. He presses you against him, your nose brushing against his pubic bone, making you swallow all of his cum until it's completely inside you. Its taste is pungent, reminding you of a spicy, bitter spice.
He stays in your mouth for a while after he finishes pouring into you. He massages your scalp with his hands, clearly not wanting to release you. His cock twitches slightly, and you fear he's about to give you a second round.
He sighs, reluctantly pulling out of your mouth. He grabs your hands and guides them to his pants. You cleaned him and put him back in his pants without saying a word. You are not even looking into his eyes, knowing full well that a satisfied smile will spread across his lips the moment you do.
He grabs your arms and lifts you off your knees. You shiver, unable to stay on your two feet after being on your knees for so long, and you fall into his arms, leaning completely against him. He laughs huskily, pulling you closer to his chest. He uses his fingertip to collect the last of your saliva and his cum from the corners of your mouth and pushes his fingers into your mouth. You suck on them, meeting his eyes with your defiant, angry gaze.
He hums, smiling darkly as he watches with satisfaction as you lick his fingers. He leans forward, his nose brushing your cheek as he licks from your face and then from your neck the droplets of his black cum that leaked from your mouth as you tried to swallow everything he poured into you. You shiver as his tongue caresses the skin of your neck, tracing the small, sealed wound he inflicted on you with his dagger. He hums against your neck, disappointed at how quickly your blood clots.
Suddenly, he lets you completely go. You can barely keep your balance as he walks away from you.
"If that Atreides' bitch survived, so did her pathetic puppy. Send a message to our people in the desert. Paul Atredis is alive. We have to kill him before he and the rebels start a revolt and destroy our plans. Clean up here too. Tomorrow we have half a tribe of these rats to interrogate."
You nod dumbly, trying to understand what the hell just happened. Just a few hours ago, you were afraid for your life, and now that you... have pleased him, he acts like nothing has happened. You come to the conclusion that it bothered you more than when he pressed his blade against your throat.
"Ah, and Y/N." He says, stopping at the door and turning to look at you one last time before leaving the room. You can tell by the mischievous smile on his lips that he has nothing good planned for you. "I want to see you in my chambers tonight."
He doesn't wait for your reaction or response. He just walks out with a springy, energetic step, closing the door behind him with a bang.
You shiver as you find yourself alone in the room with Lady Jessica's corpse. You look around, and, in a desperate attempt to find some positives, you decide that at least your blood isn't staining the floor of the ship... or at least not yet.
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His chambers in the main base on Arrakis are not as... ornately terrifying as those he had in Giedi Prime. You wouldn't guess that someone important lived there. It was an ordinary room with a bed, a chest of drawers, and a bathroom. No amenities, just a commander's room; definitely too poor for a na-baron.
You shiver as you feel his hand on your hip. He pulls you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his nose in your hair. He sighs, inhaling your scent. The warm air on your neck is tickling you gently. You think about how it's been too easy for him to sneak up on you lately. You've gone out of shape.
"Are you planning how to escape, little witch?" He whispers hoarsely, playing with the fabric of your nightgown.
"I didn't. And believe me, I had better opportunities in the past. So why would I escape now?" You answer his question with your own one, irritated by his suspicions.
"Because unlike me, you are very reluctant to welcome our Kwisatz Haderach into this world." You roll your eyes at his words and turn your head to give him an annoyed look. He shrugs with a smirk. He presses a kiss on the bare skin of your shoulder before resting his chin on it. "You're obviously trying to distance yourself from me, too." He adds, seeing the irritated frown on your forehead.
“Weren't you the one who thought the Bene Gesserit prophecies were just bullshit from stoned old women?” You ask, raising your eyebrows in challenge.
"I did… but this particular one seems very convincing..." He purrs into your neck. He moves one hand from your hip so his finger can trace the red line of the wound he gave you with the dagger. He tilted your head back, forcing you to rest your head on his shoulder as he placed a trail of kisses on the small scar.
"Where are your harpies?" You ask when he starts showing too much interest in your neck, peppering it with kisses.
"Should I call them? Would you like them to join us?" You wrinkle your nose, at which he laughs, amused, tightening his hold on you.
"Of course not. You know that I have... no sympathy for them." You grumble, trying to break free from his grip, which, of course, he won't let you.
"The feeling is mutual. You know, they think you're stealing me from them. And that I will quickly get bored with you, like with other... oriental pets I had, and I will come back to them."
"What are you waiting for, then?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him. He chuckles darkly, shaking his head. His hand plays with the strap of your black sleep gown, gently stroking your bare skin. He leans down, nuzzling your temple, and whispers in your ear:
“The problem is, my dear little witch, that you have taken over every ounce of my thoughts. My dreams, my nights, my days… it seems only right that I get back the time I wasted dreaming about you, right?”
You shiver, both from his words and from the way his hand slides over your body like a snake. He strokes your breasts, taking a moment to focus on them before his hand rests on your hips again. He presses you against him, clinging to you like a second skin.
"Let's go to bed. It was a very long day. For both of us..." He says, directing you towards his bed. You resist him slightly by digging your heels into the floor, but he quickly counters this by lifting you up gently, leaving your feet dangling in the air.
"Wouldn't you rather sleep alone? It's pretty warm here." You try to get out of it one last time, feeling the soft silk of his black sheets beneath you as he gently places you on his bed. He laughs mockingly, amused by your poor attempt at escape.
"Not at night. You know that well. I'd rather keep an eye on you, little witch. We don't know what monsters may be lurking in the darkness of Arrakis after we killed the Reverend Mother of those rats." He purrs, laying down next to you. You sigh as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him, knowing full well that your safety is the last thing he's worried about right now.
"If Paul Atreides survived, it is very likely that he could be Muad'Dib. He will come here. To avenge his mother and unborn sister." You warned him. You're trying to make this situation more… normal. Lying in his bed and in his arms wasn't the least bit normal for you, but making plans with him was. You needed to keep your mind occupied until you could fall asleep… if he let you fall asleep.
"You didn't stop me from killing her. You didn't say a word. Why? Were you afraid you'd be next?"
You shake your head. You're not going to tell him the whole truth about what you felt back then, but you know you can't lie to him. You have to tell him at least half the truth if you want to regain some of his trust... at least until you escape.
"Lady Jessica believed that Paul was the real Kwisatz Haderach, since she gave Duke Leto a son instead of a daughter. The Bene Gesserit resented her for this. She was supposed to give him a daughter. A daughter who was to marry you and give you a real Kwisatz Haderach. By disobeying their orders, she fell into their disfavour... until she gave them the idea that they might as well... fuse me with you to secure your bloodline. But the Bene Gesserit came up with the idea that I was going to be the mother of the Kwisatz Haderach. If I hadn't gone with you that night... I might as well have died at her hands. I… I guess I was glad that I survived her."
Not looking at his face helps you partially open up to him. You didn't like remembering your past. This was the one thing you had in common. You try your best to reveal as little to him as you have to, unconsciously tracing patterns in his hand as he keeps hugging you from behind. If you turned around, you would have seen his small smile at your gesture quickly disappear as he sensed the growing tension within you at the thought of Lady Jessica.
"If I had known, I would have made it more painful for her." He states, taking your hand in his and squeezing it. You look down at your joined hands and frown as he slowly strokes the skin of your hand with his thumb.
"Why?" You ask in a whisper, not moving an inch when he buries his nose in your hair.
"Because no one hurts what's mine."You snort, knowing full well the true meaning of his words. If you were just a naive young girl, you would believe in the good intentions behind these words. However, you know Feyd Rautha too well to naively believe that he won't break his favourite toys. He grabs your chin in a tight grip and turns you to face him. You swallow thickly as his intense gaze meets yours. You've never had the chance to look so closely at his icy blue eyes... "I want you by my side all the time. I need to make sure you're not planning anything behind my back, little witch."
"Haven't I proven my loyalty enough?" You ask, placing your hands on his bare chest and pushing yourself away from him gently. He chuckles darkly, letting go of your chin in a split second to grab your wrists in a tight grip. He lifts your hands, pushing them away from him and twisting them so you can't move them.
"I believe you are capable of doing much more." He murmurs against your throat, pressing kisses there and lazily sucking at your skin, which was already irritated by his dagger.
You squirm in his arms, trying to somehow protect your neck from his wandering lips. Your attempts fail, as you only give him more fun by grinding against him in a desperate attempt to escape.
Eventually, he gets bored and decides to let you go. He lets you turn your back on him again, but you don't get far. His arms wrap around you, holding you in a cage as he takes on the role of the big spoon.
"I will bring you the head of Atreides on a golden plate. There is only one Kwisatz Haderach—our future son. I won't let some dog from Caladan tell people otherwise." He whispers in your ear. You shiver, half-wishing you were stupid enough to believe in his devotion. The fact that someone can do anything you want for you. But it wasn't love. It was just an obsession. You had to remember that.
"Maybe he really is the one… or maybe it's all just nonsense made up by those old hags? Maybe there will be no Kwisatz Haderach at all? What's then?" He doesn't answer your questions. However, you manage to get some reaction out of him.
He pulls away from you, the bed creaking beneath him as you hear him turn over to his other side. The sudden chill of not having his body close to yours makes you shiver.
You find yourself regretting for a moment that whatever you said made him distance himself from you. You shake your head and sigh, sinking deeper into the pillows. You try to find the most comfortable position possible when settling down to sleep. But for some reason, you don't feel tired at all. Your eyes are wide open as you listen to his soft breathing, the only other sound in the empty room.
"How did you find out about… uncle?" His sudden question makes you turn towards him. He remains turned away from you, ignoring any movement from you. You think for a moment, staring at the scars scattered across his pale, muscular back, before answering him.
"I have eyes and ears. And enough brain cells to… deduce a few things." You whisper, tracing a particularly nasty-looking scar on his back with the pad of your thumb. "I also... I went through something similar. I've told you that before. Bene Gesserit was to me what your uncle is to you." He turns slowly to face you at your words. His eyes examine you so thoroughly that you feel another shiver run through your body.
This time, when he reaches out to cup your cheek, you don't fight him. You let him, trying to decipher the unreadable look in his eyes as he continues to consider your words.
"Tell me... how could I resist when you're like this? How could I ignore you and leave you in your shadows when everything you do fascinates me to a madness that only you can heal?" He asks, tracing the line of your lips with the pad of his thumb.
"You wanted to kill me today." You remind him in an accusatory tone. You bite the tip of his finger, which only brings a smirk to his face as he moves his hand away from your face. He places it on your hip, squeezing it in a silient warning.
"I wanted to scare you. You lied to me, so you needed some punishment. Besides, you know perfectly well that if I really wanted to kill you, you would already be dead."
"Not telling the whole truth is not a lie. Besides… your intentions don't make this situation any different to me." You huff, rolling your eyes. He laughs huskily, caressing your hip through the fabric of your nightgown as he moves closer to you on the bed. Your chest is pressed against his. Both of you are breathing steadily and slowly, staring intently into each other's eyes.
"Are you afraid of the little old me, my little witch?" He asks teasingly. You catch yourself watching the sparkle of amusement in his eyes shine surprisingly brightly under the light of the Arrakis moon. You can't make yourself turn your gaze off of him. And that's what terrifies you.
"Should I?" You ask in a whisper, trembling, not giving him an ounce of trust. Seeing your extremely distrustful and hostile attitude, he stops smiling. He looks at you more seriously, as he is deep into his thinking.
He doesn't respond to you. He places a kiss on your forehead and turns your back to him. He holds you tightly, buries his nose in your hair, and slowly falls asleep, wrapping himself in your warmth and scent. On your back, you feel his heart beating calmly in his strong, well-built chest. You allow yourself to sigh shakily, being finally 'alone' for the first time since this fateful day began.
And you realise that you're not afraid of him at all. The only person you are afraid of is yourself. That you would give in to your strange attraction to him one day and seal your fate. You didn't want to die. But you'd rather find yourself buried under the sands of Arrakis than let those Bene Gesserit witches control your life ever again.
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"If you tear this, you'll be walking around with my hand around your throat." He warns you, seeing you struggling with the black leather choker around your neck he gave you. It looked like a fucking collar. And it was a bit too tight for you to feel comfortable in it.
"You give me so many options…" You snort sarcastically, leaving the damn choker around your neck. "I look like a fucking whore." You say and turn towards him to look at him carefully.
He wore his more formal black armour with a cape that was as dark as the rest of his outfit. He smiles sarcastically and walks over to you. He smoothes the fabric of your dress on your waist and places his hands on your hips.
"Whore? Not at all. More like my pet." He hums, trying to take in your form in a form-fitting black dress. The silver chains on your hips and chest connect into a spider's web that flows down with the fabric of the skirt of the dress, which surprisingly doesn't cling as tightly to your body as the bodice of the dress does.
It's... definitely a bolder outfit than you're used to wearing. And this time, your hair was loose. The maids put silver accessories and small diamond jewels into your hair. You were a nicely wrapped gift, especially prepared for the Na-Baron's birthday.
"What's the difference?" You ask, raising an eyebrow defiantly.
"Calm down, little witch. Rumours about your past spread quickly. We can't let people see me as a weak man who fell under the spell of a Bene Gesserit, can we?" He teases you. He leans towards you and nuzzles your cheek before his lips start to trace a path along your jaw to your neck. You sigh slightly and place your hands on his chest, trying to keep him at a distance.
"Please. Don't pretend you're not doing it for your own fucking satisfaction." You snap at him, still trying to push him away. He puts the dagger on your neck rather quickly and too suddenly, making you refrain from any form of protest for a moment as he decorates your neck with hickeys.
"I'm not even trying to deny it at all… you look stunning, by the way." He growls hoarsely. His blade moves from your neck to the top of your corset, pressing the tip against the valley between your breasts. You sigh, feeling the coolness of the blade against your chest.
"They are waiting for you." You whisper as he nuzzles his nose against yours.
"We have a moment... besides, it's my birthday. Don't you want to celebrate my adulthood?" His low tone of voice sends shivers down your spine. Even after he tosses his blade aside, you make no move to try to walk away from him.
"You're still acting like the horny teenager I met. I doubt you will ever grow up."
"Watch what you say… I can always show you how hornier I became." His warning is not just lip service. He shows it to you... very clearly as his hard length rubs against your thigh.
You grab his jaw tightly and take a step away from him. He laughs, grabbing your wrist and pulling you back into his arms in one quick movement. You gasp in shock, falling into his chest. You struggle in his embrace until he slaps your ass. You glare at him furiously, at which he only tightens his grip on you.
"I want you to paint my body before the fight." He mumbles, caressing your cheek as you try to pull your head back from him.
Leading members of the high houses gathered on Arrakis to celebrate his birthday and the fact that he had managed to restore the mining and export of spices to extraordinary levels.
Feyd was to put on a spectacle, killing the most dangerous Fremen who managed to be kept alive during interrogations. However, you and Feyd have bigger worries to take care of right now. Like the baron and the emperor. Or Paul Atreides... or rather, their Muad'dib, who has not been found by you yet. Something Feyd decided to ignore for now in favor of groping you and trying to get into your pants.
Over the last few weeks, he has clung to you like a limpet. It made it very difficult for you to do any work or spy, as he was literally following you around. You felt like his favourite dog on a leash, taken for walks around the building before locking you in his chambers for the night, keeping you close to him. Even his harpies couldn't take his attention away from you. Something you really hoped would happen soon.
"It's always been… your harpies' privilege." You say as he tangles his hand in your hair.
"And now I want you to do it." He says it calmly, caressing your cheek as you try to pull your head back from him. "Do you mind?" You huff at his condescending question.
"Don't ask me questions like that; otherwise, I'll start thinking that I really have a choice here." He laughs, showing you a set of his freshly painted black teeth and shakes his head at you.
"We both know you're too smart for that, my shrewd little witch." He says this and leans in, gently brushing your lips with his. He keeps a tight grip on your hair as his kiss becomes more intense and possessive. He tightens his grip on your waist, tugging at the fabric of your dress, causing the silver chains on it to clang against each other with every move of his hand.
His hand reaches for the strings of your corset at the back, but before he can untie even one of them, there's a knock on the door.
"My Lord Na-Baron, the Baron, and your brother have just landed on Arrakis. The emperor should also be arriving soon."
You feel him tense slightly as he pulls away from you. His face hardens as he puts on his emotionless mask, staring out the window, where he could probably see the ship landing.
"Come on, little witch. I don't need to remind you to be on your best behaviour, right?" You roll your eyes at him, placing your hand in the crook of his elbow.
"I think I can play your concubine for a day. Consider this my birthday gift to you, my Na-Baron." You say it sarcastically and sweetly, walking with him out of his room and towards the great hall where he would greet everyone gathered. If you were lucky enough, you might be able to escape from him for a moment or two...
"In my chambers as well?" He asks teasingly, and out of the corner of your eye, you see him trying not to smile, but the corner of his lip twitches, giving him away (at least to you).
"Anywhere but there." You reply quickly, making him smile this time. At least for a second. After all, he has a reputation to uphold.
"That's okay. We don't need to do it there. There are so many other places…" He whispers hoarsely in your ear before you enter the room where the first party is to be held. You can't stop a cold shiver from running down your spine.
Doors are opening for you. You wait for him to let go of your waist and move in front of you like he usually does at these types of parties with the concubines he brought for company, but he doesn't do that at all. Instead, he tightens his grip on your waist and holds you by his side as he navigates through the sea of people. You can't help but blush slightly.
If you had any doubts over the last few weeks that he was no longer interested in you, they were gone with his small gesture. He will indeed ruin you. As soon as he finds the opportunity suitable. You were afraid that the evening of his birthday might be considered in his eyes as a perfect time to do this.
But somehow you manage to get out of his sight. You position yourself against the wall, having a perfect view of the most important people in the room. The Baron and Feyd were talking about something with the Emperor and his daughter. You look at them curiously, especially since the Harkonnens have their backs turned to you. And looking at Princess Irulan in a silver dress that was constructed to resemble armour, you see in her your chance for freedom. If Feyd married her, he would probably get over his strange obsession with you.
"Lady Y/N." Feyd's older brother's mocking greeting reaches your ears. You turn to him, taking your eyes off Feyd for a moment, and nod to the man standing next to you.
"Count Rabban."
"I heard you and my brother dealt with the rats of Arrakis. My congratulations." You are quite wary of his civilised attitude. The last time you saw him, Feyd made him kiss his shoes. And yours. So you definitely didn't stay in... a neutral relationship after that.
"Na-Baron is a great commander." You reply with a polite smile. Your eyes involuntarily wander to Feyd. There's a knot in your stomach when you see him talking to the princess. You frown, wondering what the hell is wrong with you.
"I have no doubt." He nods, also looking at Feyd. "He will destroy you. Like any toy he had before you. When you lose your usefulness, he will throw you to his harpies. He's more unpredictable than me or even my uncle. But you know that... so what are you still doing by his side?" He asks, turning his gaze on you.
"I am his right hand. I live to serve him." You answer automatically, shrugging your shoulders.
"If I had known that Bene Gesserit witches were so devoted, I might have appointed one to be my right hand."
"Believe me, count Rabban, the overwhelming majority would not serve him or anyone else so loyally as I do. They would probably prefer to poison themselves." He laughs at your words, taking two drinks from the passing servant. He hands you one, but you shake your head. "I don't drink if I don't have to. Old habits from my home planet. My mother would slap my sisters and me on the hands until she could see our bones as a punishment for stealing a drink or two." You're half lying when you remember how the Reverend Mothers made sure you were completely… untainted by any substances that could make you less healthy. All for breeding. Like farm animals.
"And they say the Harkonnens are monsters. At least you can get drunk with us… well, before we torture you to death or accidentally kill you."
"I've gotten used to it. Fortunately, I have fast reflexes." You reply with a smirk, knowing full well what he's trying to do. He wanted to ingratiate himself with you while you were still important in the Harkonnen court. His brother currently despised him, and his uncle probably did too. He saw an opportunity to increase his political influence when he spotted you alone.
Suddenly, you feel someone's intense gaze on you. You turned your face to notice that Feyd's eyes were on you and not on the princess, with whom he was still talking. Judging by the way your skin was burning from the look Feyd was giving you, you could tell he didn't like his brother being close to you at all.
And Feyd was incredibly pissed off and furious. In his eyes, Rabban wasn't worthy enough of your time, attention, or even being close to you to have the pleasure to smell the scent of your perfumes. But not only did his brother have the courage to talk to you; he even made you smile. Feyd was already planning in his mind how to tear his head off.
Na-Baron would have done just that if an arrow had not suddenly passed between him and Princess Irulan.
Panic filled the room when suddenly, a hail of arrows hit random people. You grabbed your blade and were about to move towards the first archer you noticed, but suddenly a cold steel was pressed against your neck. The Fremen woman holds you tight. You can only stand there calmly and watch as they overpower the more important representatives of the great families, leading the less important people out of the room. Feyd's blue irises are focused on you all the time, which surprisingly makes you feel a little better.
"Silience!" You freeze when you see Paul Atreides emerge from the crowd of Fremen.
Your informants haven't told you much about him. He had done well since he was forced to live on Arrakis among the Fremen. He became stronger, smarter, and more ruthless. He had no weaknesses… except one. You look around the room, your eyes locking on the woman who stood a few metres away from you. His lover.
If living among powerful men taught you anything, it was that they only had a few weaknesses. Fear for their lives, property, title, and, among those younger and less experienced in life, their loved ones. But Paul Atreides changed on Arrakis. He wasn't the little boy you knew during your training with his mother. You could only hope that he loved his woman enough to consider rescuing her. Maybe you will buy enough time before your trops, waiting on ships above Arrakis, come to rescue you.
"Let me go. Give me your blade. Keep your mouth shut and close your eyes for the next 30 minutes." You use your voice on the woman who holds you.
While she does what you told her, you try to get to Atreides' lover unnoticed. You ignore his speech; your heart is racing in your chest, and all you can hear is the sound of your blood flowing in your blood vessels.
When you reach the Fremen woman, you quickly disarm her and press your dagger to her neck. Atreides stops his speech. Before anyone can react, you take a deep breath and say loudly:
"Everyone ten steps back. Stay still, or slit your throat with the nearest weapon." Everyone in the room is listening to you. You have to take a few steps back with the woman you have in your iron grip. You tremble as you feel the eyes of everyone in the room on you, especially Feyd's. However, your gaze is fixed only on Paul Atreides.
"This is impossible… what are you?" He asks in shock, not moving after you forced him and everyone else in the room to back away from you.
"It doesn't matter, Atreides. Take your men and get out of here. I advise you well." You growl furiously at him. You feel the blood start to pulsate in your veins. The old wound on your side is slowly starting to open up under the pressure your body is going through. You're glad you're wearing a black dress. At least not all of them will see the blood stain on your dress when it will be leaking out of you more and more by the second.
"You cannot keep them under your will forever. You'll soon get tired, faint, or bleed to death." He reasons, fully aware that your crowd control is time-limited.
"My men will be landing here soon. They'll take everyone who counts and fly away with us, raining nuclear bombs on your precious little desert. The spice from these areas may have been contaminated for several centuries, but we still have the opposite pole of Arrakis to exploit and extract it. So better choose wisely."
He frowns at your words, looking at you carefully and analysing your facial expressions carefully. You stare at him hard and unfazed, even though you feel the fabric of your dress sticking to your open wound. You have a staring fight with each other until you press your dagger a little more into the woman's throat and take her blood. He looks briefly at his girl before he opens his mouth to speak.
"We've met before, right?"
"You have one minute to make a decision before I make your woman bleed to death in front of you." You say hoarsely, feeling your muscles tremble slightly. But you hold on with all your might, maintaining your calm, dangerous, hostile attitude.
You all wait in suspense to see what he will do. He might as well attack and kill you, risking his men overpowering any reinforcements that come to your rescue. But you hope he's considerate enough to back off. If not because of the people who came after him, then because of his girlfriend or concubine, whose life now depends solely on you.
You almost sigh in fucking relief when he takes a step back. You let him get out of your control, looking at him carefully all the time. You swallowed and let go of his woman.
"Follow your Muad'Dib." You command the people of the desert. They stare at you for a moment before their eyes rest anxiously on their leader. He nods at them as he slowly leaves the room.
As quickly as they arrived, they left. You stand at attention for a long time—a minute, an hour, or hours—until you hear the ship approaching and the movement of the sands of Arrakis under the influence of sandworms.
They left. You realise this with relief. However, it is a very short-lived relief. It ends when your eyes meet the eyes of the reverend mothers, who are clearly communicating with each other. You fucked up. You revealed that you were a Bene Gesserit, or at least that you knew some of their tricks. Unconsciously, you completely let go of control over the gathered crowd.
"Why didn't you wait for your people so we could kill them? Kill him?" The emperor's voice reaches you vaguely. You raise your head and meet the gaze of an old man standing a few steps away from you.
"I bluffed, my emperor." You reply shakily, feeling blood start to flow from your nose as well.
"What?" He asks in shock, unable to believe that all your talk was a pure bluff. You don't have the strength to explain anything. You can stare blankly at the floor, feeling your strength slowly begin to drain away after you use the voice on the people gathered in the room.
"I bluffed." You repeat, feeling your heart beat rapidly against your chest. Your vision becomes completely blurry; all you can hear is the buzzing in your ears, the pounding of your heart, and the slow dripping of your blood onto the floor.
"But… you…" Whatever he was about to say, he's interrupted by you falling to your knees. You don't register at all what's happening around you. The only thing you are sure of is that there are suddenly a lot of people around you.
You're clinging to what little consciousness you have when you suddenly feel something pull you against the hard wall of muscle. You lean against the unexpected support, slowly drifting into blissful unconsciousness as you no longer feel the pain from the open wound on your side. The hoarse call of your name makes you a little more aware, enough to distinguish Feyd's voice from the indistinct gibberish around you.
"Get a medic here!"
He whispers something else to you as he brushes your hair out of your face, but you don't hear anything anymore. You let yourself go into the blissful darkness, happy that you can rest, at least for a moment. And you feel surprisingly comfortable, with the warmth of his arms and his scent being the last things you feel before passing out.
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You're surprised that when you wake up in the hospital wing, there's no one at your bed, looking at you like a guard dog. Once you get used to the feeling of being fully aware, you rub your eyes. The moonlight shines through the window, illuminating a dark and empty room you found yourself in.
You ignore the strange twinge in your chest when you don't see your Na-Baron anywhere near you and slowly sit up on the bed. You check the status of your wound and are pleased to see that you are in a more stable condition than you were a few hours ago.
You place your feet on the floor and slowly stand up, testing your muscles. You're relieved to see that it's not as bad as it was in the past. You walk over to the chair where a black silk robe is hanging and put it on. You take a moment to search the room, smiling hugely when you find your daggers on the nightstand next to your bed. You attach one to your thigh and tuck the other inside the sleeve of your robe. Maintaining great silence, you tiptoe out of the room.
You sigh in relief as you wander the empty corridors again, hiding in their shadows. You feel like a newborn, like a fish that has returned to the current of a familiar river. You weren't aware of how therapeutic it was for you to wander the halls alone at night until Feyd trapped you in his arms and his bed practically every night. You missed it. Very much so.
However, today's attempted attack by Atreides made you realise that you were too focused on getting away from Harkonnen and trying to keep him at a distance. You had to take action. Otherwise, Paul Atreides will cut off your head, just like his mother once wanted to do.
You shudder as you remember the day you escaped from the Bene Gesserit sisters' sanctum.
You ran barefoot through familiar corridors in the cold, dark night. You didn't need a torch or other light. You had lived within these walls long enough to know which corridors ended in dead ends and where to turn to reach each gate. But Lady Jessica knew them as well as you. You had to be a lot smarter if you were going to escape the woman who wanted you dead.
Yesterday there was a great meeting of Reverend Mothers after Lady Jessica failed to give birth to Leto Atreides' daughter at the right time. The Reverend Mothers had to find... a new breeding mare for Feyd Rauthy, from whose blood the Kwisatz Haderach was to be created. They chose you. And now, because of this honour that had been a death sentence for you from the very beginning—a curse, an evil fate that seemed to have stuck with you since your birth—Lady Jessica had tried to kill you in your sleep and was now trying to complete her work.
You decide to go to the ramp, hoping that you might be able to capture some small ship—something flying around—that would get you away from those damn Bene Gesserit.
You knew you were too weak to fight Lady Jessica. She taught you a lot, but not how to defeat someone stronger, like her. If you wanted to live, you needed to find a way to escape.
You speed up as you hear the click of her heels behind you. You run as fast as you can, reaching the door just as Lady Jessica appears at the end of the hall. You close the door behind you with a loud snap. You sigh, leaning against it for a moment. You freeze as you feel the blade against your throat.
"Step away." You order in panic before opening your eyes. A cold chill runs through you as you see Na-Baron Harkonnen's cold blue irises staring at you in shock as he obediently steps away from you.
You stand there for a few minutes, staring at each other without saying anything. Na-Baron examines you carefully: your dishevelled state, rapid breathing, red cheeks, and bare feet. You have no idea what he deduced, but it was enough for him to not immediately slit your throat for using the voice on him.
"You should go back to your sisters, little witch. Unless you want to join me, I wouldn't say no to the company of... such a pretty mouse." He speaks hoarsely. He doesn't wait for your answer, though. He simply turns and walks slowly towards the ship his men are packing. You swallow and wonder: Is death at the hands of Lady Jessica or at the hands of Harkonnen? Your pride chooses for you.
"I'm not a mouse, I'm a warrior." You reply, gathering all your inner courage. Na-Baron stops in his way.
His raspy laugh sends another shiver down your spine as he slowly turns back to face you. He approaches you slowly, each step perfectly calculated as he stands a few millimeters in front of you, invading your personal space. You raise your head proudly and meet his gaze with your own, determined one.
Which impresses him.
So much so that he reaches for the dagger strapped to his hip. You don't flinch when he runs the tip of the dagger across his tongue. You watch him closely, waiting for him to either slit your throat or accept the challenge. Feyd is surprised. And very curious—too curious—to simply walk away and continue on his path. That's why he takes your hand in his and hands you the dagger he was just testing.
"So show me what you can do, little witch. Except for using that honeyed voice of yours." He says it mockingly and takes two steps back, drawing another hidden blade from his armour.
You don't remember the entire fight clearly. The adrenaline was pumping through you so much that you only remember snippets of that dance with him with daggers in your hands. Surprisingly, neither of you disarmed the other. You stopped as you both placed your blades against the other's flesh—at points that would guarantee instant death if either of you decided to press the blade against the skin a little harder.
"You fight well, little witch." He praises you, moving away from you. "You're wasting yourself here." He says, looking at you acutely for a long time, considering something. But finally, he nods at you and turns again to join his men and board the ship. You quickly grab his hand before he gets too far away from you. You feel him tense at your touch, but he doesn't make any moves.
"Let me go with you. My blade will be an extension of yours, Na-Baron. I'll be your spy from the shadows, just... get me out of here." He widens his eyes slightly, unprepared for such a request. He turns towards you and glares at you with his icy irises.
It could very well be a trick from those witches, but Feyd would be lying if he didn't say that you caught his attention the first day he saw you training. And he really wanted to see what you were really capable of doing. Few had the guts to challenge him. And he found it somehow charming—how your eyes shone with determination every time you held the blade in your hands.
"Your sisters won't be happy when they find out that I took one of them to Giedi Prime." He says, feigning hesitation. His people knew him well. If he wanted something, he took it. A group of old witches wouldn't stop him, not now that he saw... great potential in you. Maybe not only as one of his soldiers.
"With all due respect, your house is not known for following anyone's rules except those you set. I… I can't stay here any longer."
His heart beat faster, seeing the desperation and helplessness in your eyes. Normally, he would laugh at someone who showed him weakness and kill him on the spot without much thought. But you... when you stared at him with those pleading eyes of yours, flushed from fighting him... it did something to him.
Feyd knew the feeling of helplessness. His uncle loved making him feel this way. And Feyd himself finds great enjoyment in making others feel that way. Humiliated. Weak. Scared. Somehow he didn't like the fact that staying in the sisterhood made you... feel like that and do such desperate actions as coming with him to Giedi Prime.
However, he had no intention of letting go of such a valuable bird that was voluntarily pushing itself into his cage.
"Well, you fight better than most of my men... I will make you my right hand. And as for your Bene Gesserit sisters..." You sigh softly as he reaches for your hair and cuts it in half. He cuts your shoulder and dips the cut hair in your blood. You see him put a few strands in his pocket, before he handed them to his servant, growling something at him in his native language. You raise an eyebrow at him. "I told him to convey my thanks to the Reverend Mother for... sending me a delightful toy. He might also mention that my darlings liked your meat." You nod, swallowing. He laughs mockingly, patting your shoulder. "You have many things to learn, little witch. You better prove to me that I wasn't wrong about you, or you will suffer exactly the fate that my servant will pass on to your sisters. I don't like weakness and disappointment."
"I have no intention of disappointing you, Na-Baron."
"Good. Come with me. I'm fed up with this planet. Besides, you need to change your clothes if you don't want my men to think you're a whore they can enjoy while on our journey." He nods and walks towards the ship. You follow him like his shadow, casting cold, sinister glances at the people staring at you.
"I am perfectly capable of defending myself, my lord." You reply confidently as you walk with him up the ramp to the Harkonnen ship. You see a small smile appear on his face at your words.
"I don't doubt that. However, I wouldn't want to lose more people than necessary. It's supposed to be your job to clean up after me, not the other way around, little witch." He responds, testing you and carefully watching your reaction. You don't flinch, perfectly prepared and familiar with... the brutality of the Harkonnens.
"Duly noted. There's only one thing I don't understand." He doesn't stop in his steps, but he gives you a quick glance and hums, allowing you to continue and ask a question. "I appreciate it very much, but… why didn't you kill me at the entrance?"
He chuckles hoarsely at your question and stops at a specific door. He turns to look at you, a spark of amusement shining in his eyes as he studies you like a predator would its prey before deciding to answer you.
"You didn't apologise or beg for your life. I found it... very refreshing." He says, opening the door. The metallic smell of blood fills your nostrils. You look into the room and see several prisoners chained to the wall of the ship with some strange cuts on their chests—probably some words in Harkonnen."Your first task, little witch. My darlings are very hungry. They will need the meat of my enemies. Come back here in an hour... I should finish by then. And change that rag you wear. I want to see you only in black." He orders, closing the door behind him with a bang.
You stand in the hallway for a moment, blinking and staring at the door, as you are suddenly thrown into a new reality that you have to get used to. You mutter a series of curses under your breath as you go searching for... any clothes or shoes. The cold metal of the ship's floor and the dried blood in some places made walking around on your bare feet quite uncomfortable.
Feyd-Rautha was indeed psychopathic... but it was better for you to be the devil's right hand than his mistress. And it was certainly better to inhale the toxins of Giedi Prime than to smell the flowers from underneath your grave.
You find yourself in front of a door that you don't want to go through. But you know you have to do it if you want to remain free and independent of anyone. You couldn't escape now. Not before Feyd-Rautha. You had to pay the price of your freedom with someone else's freedom. And you were ruthless enough to do it without blinking an eye. Maybe the years of living with Harkonnen really made you one of them...
You knock and enter the cave of Feyd's three harpies.
As you might expect, they don't welcome you very warmly. As soon as you close the door behind you, you hear their hisses. They stop feasting on some Fremen and glare at you, slowly approaching you.
"Relax, ladies. I'm here... to make a small agreement." You announce, taking a seat in the only chair that, surprisingly, isn't covered in anyone's blood. The women look at each other distrustfully and approach the table where you are sitting.
"Agreement?"
"With a little witch?"
"We don't make any agreements with our meals; we simply eat them."
You don't flinch at their words. Instead, you nod and draw your dagger when they get too close to you. Two of them move away automatically, but one—the oldest of them—continues to look at you. You give her a cold and dispassionate glare as you play with the blade in your fingers.
"But that's exactly what I'm talking about. About... a food. A great meal. A feast you will remember for a long time, ladies." You try your best to sound encouraging.
Their eyes light up, interested as you meet a fresh meal. You know perfectly well that they haven't eaten anything... desirable for a long time. They probably had to drag the body of this miserable man to their chamber themselves since you didn't have time to... make sure they were fed. And if there's one thing you can get on Giedi Prime with something other than power and sex, it's food.
"The little witch is planning something…"
"The little witch is up to something interesting…"
"The little witch wants to do something against our master…"
You look at them unfazed as they read that you have no clear intentions at all when it comes to working with them. But anyone who managed to survive on Giedi Prime and Arrakis was surely a man whose conscience had gone a long time ago.
And maybe your plan wasn't good for everyone... but it was definitely good for you. And Feyd. He'll agree with you... or at least you hope so. You're still not sure if his obsession with you was just a passing whim or if he really wanted to keep you with him. But you didn't want to end up like his concubines and pets.
"Possibly... but isn't that what you want? For your master to give you his attention again instead of taking care of me?" This seems to interest them even more than the promise of food.
"What do you want, little witch?" The oldest harpy asks you, looking at you carefully. You give her a mischievous, sinister smirk.
'"Have you ever thought of feasting on the Baron?" Your question hangs in the room. The harpies watch you carefully, smiling slowly and showing a row of black teeth.
Nothing united women like a common enemy.
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To be continued... Taglist: (I REALLLLY hope that everyone who wanted to be here is here...😅 I;m sorry if I missed someone <3) @skymoonandstardust @prettybubblesintheair @thegabbyh @himesuedi @wo-ming-bai @beebeechaos @mamawiggers1980 @moonsoulk @avidreader73 @heartarianagran @dreamlandcreations @ancientbeing10 @lovereadingfanfic @jeansjoie @workof-a-rr-t @aixicl @ladyredstar1991 @evangelineimagine @hobobobo-fett56 @happyant3 @marsflys @aaaaaamond @kamcrazy123 @k1swass @yum-yahgurt @tyns13 @oh-you-mean-me @menari @tyns13 @vaf24 @dacreshoney @emrennoll-blog @tian-monique @slightlypossessed @celestialadrift @lauramooij05 @flaps200 @chixnugg22 @aaaaaamond @marvelfangirl04 @sw33tsnow @emeraldsgirl @imyourbubblegumpop @tempt-ress @k1swass @alana4610 @cloudroomblog @lotus-888 @lowlyloved @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @w3ird11 @kythefangirl25 @hobobobo-fett56 @nj452896
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sstrwbrryccke · 3 months
Text
— bullying him pt.3 | sub soobin
part 1 | part 2
tags: loser!nerd!soobin x bully!mean!reader, gn reader, possessive reader, mentions of possessive acts, pet play slightly, dubcon, tons of public humiliation, public sex, bullying, mutual pinning with heavy denial, both are obsessed for each other, unhealthy relationships, reader is pretty sadistic, foot on crotch, exhibitionism, handjob, multiple orgasms, public fondling, fluff at end
tag: @zuzuhasablog
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you tapped an impatient foot on the ground, periodically checking your phone for the time. he was late by 2 minutes now, and you feel your irritation rise as you type snarky texts to him. how was it that you were the one who came early to the pity date? it was seriously ridiculous. shouldn’t he be on time to the date he looked forward to?
yn: where tf are you? loser: im sorry im sorry im so sorry im coming right now yn: im going to pull your hair out when i see you mutt. loser: im sorry please forgive me
if it turned out that he had stood you up, you were seriously going to rain hell on him. he’s going to get shoved into the locker, have his hair roughly grabbed and face thoroughly punched until he’s bloodied and bruised. though perhaps it wouldn't be that much of a punishment compared to your usual bedroom activities with him. he would probably enjoy the process too; as it meant all your attention was on him. you realised after a bit that he really was a desperate. masochistic. mutt. (or maybe he just craves your validation that badly)
just as you were cursing him out in your mind, you see a tall figure in the distance, stumbling and running towards you like the loser he is. you can tell he spots you as well because he quickly turns to the nearest reflective surface to fix his appearance and hair; even popping a mint in his mouth before running up to you. his face was pink, probably from the exercise— his plump lips pressing into an apologetic smile.
“sorry, i’m sorry i’m late.” he was slightly out of breath from running.
“sorry? fucking mutt. do you not respect my time? if you were any later i would’ve stood your ass up.” you shove him by the shoulder and he looks at you like a kicked dog.
he shakes his head profusely at your accusation, desperately trying to get back into your good favours.
“no— no! i’m, i, i’m so sorry. i respect your time, i’m so dumb i know.”
soobin degrades himself as he chews at his bottom lip, hoping he didn’t upset you enough for you to leave him. he had been thinking about this date all night, he could barely even get any sleep. if he messes up now he’ll never forgive himself!
“—you, you look amazing by the way.” he stammers, fingers fiddling with the hem of his sweater.
“i always look like this.” you deadpan, you didn’t bother to dress up more than you usually do in your school uniform. the most you did was pick out a simple, trendy outfit and brush your hair. bare minimum really.
“yeah you always look- i mean no, not that you don’t look amazing, always, because you do! but you look extra. amazing. compared to, usual…” he awkwardly stammers, making it worse for himself. he decides to just shut up before he embarrasses himself more and you ghost him.
“shut up and start walking, you loser.”
he follows behind you eagerly, glad you still want to hang out with him even after the most embarrassing stumble of his life. though to be honest, he stumbles like this quite a lot, and for some reason, you tolerate it (with only a few snide comments here and there). it was a few quiet seconds of walking, him being too afraid to speak up and you taking sly glances at him.
“why were you late?” you break the air, his head was lowered the entire walk, but he raises his head with your question. he was clearly nervous and sheepish as he averted his gaze.
“i… was picking an outfit.”
you give him a doubtful look and he continues, stuttering. “i— i didn’t know what style you liked. and… and i was trying to comply to your requests.”
ohhh... right, the request. you snicker to yourself. you forgot about that. it was just a small throwaway statement you texted him with no real thought behind it. you wanted to see if he would really follow through or not.
“so? show me.”
he’s nervous again, arms bracing himself as he glances around to check for people. soobin mentally hypes himself up before he pulls down his white turtleneck, showing you the silver collar around his neck. you cover your mouth with an audible pfft, laughing at him and he quickly rolls his turtleneck back up. god he was so foolish, but so obedient and cute.
“and? what about my other request?”
he looks at you wide eyed, stammering. “i, i can’t show you that!”
“did you do it?”
he blushes, hands clutching the edge of your hoodie, looking at you through his bangs. “please not here…”
he begs and you feel your heart soar. fuck, who taught him to act so cute? since when did the nerd know how to play sly? you clutch his crotch to feel for his cock and he silently whimpers.
“you didn’t wear any underwear, good boy.”
he trembles, moving away from your touch to look around, hoping no one caught you two. but his heart was in his throat and he was so excited about the praise you gave. so you liked what he did? he was over the moon. ‘good boy’, he repeated in his head. ‘good boy’.
it was unbearably adorable watching the cogs in his head malfunction, and you had to control yourself from ravaging him right here and there. you take the moment to appreciate his appearance, it was pretty obvious without him having to say so that he put a lot of effort into his outfit. he was wearing stylishly rimmed glasses, a jean jacket with a soft-lined collar, a white turtleneck and black pants. he also managed to get his hair under control, bangs carefully styled and curled.
you always thought he had looks, but this just proved how stunning he could look if he cleaned himself up. everyone else seems to agree too, and you notice the unsubtle glances thrown towards soobin. he stands out, tall and lean with a bunny-like charm. a few girls whispered and giggled, clearly blushing about him. but the attention twisted something dark in your chest, it grasped and dug its filthy nails into your heart. you wanted to lock him in your room and never let him see the light of day ever again. it was an insane thought process, deranged and unhinged. he wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a victim. you needed to get a grip.
you clutch his wrist tightly, pulling him along so he walks faster. he winces at the hold but lets you roughly handle him because it’s almost like you two are holding hands. he stares longingly at your hand and his, wishing you would interlock them again like you did yesterday. when you reach the mall, you watch with silent satisfaction as his eyes rake over the stores. there was a subtle pride you felt seeing him enjoy the choice you made.
“we have some time to kill before the restaurant reservation.”
he looks at you, eyes wide and plump lips smiling, you could almost see his irises sparkling. stupidly hopeful eyes. “you made a reservation for me?”
“don’t look at me like that. i just dont want to wait in line.”
he turns his gaze back to the front as you demand, but you can tell he is still giddy, ecstatic that you put even a sliver of effort into the date. it really didn't take much to satisfy him. even the slightest attention had him trembling. the two of you explore the mall, and naturally, soobin’s nerdy ass is drawn to the anime and manga stores. you tail behind him, mindlessly noting each thing he stares or geeks at.
while he was shuffling through the array of mangas, you pick out a shirt with a few familiar characters on it; you faintly remember soobin mentioning this show when you asked about his phone background. you tap him on the shoulder to get his attention, pointing to the shirt. “isn’t this your favourite anime?”
“oh! it’s limited edition!” he gasps out, excitement in his tone. taking the shirt from your grasp. his eyes widen in glee as he examines the details. the joy didn't last however, and soon he was putting the shirt back on the racks with a meek smile.
you raise an eyebrow “thought you liked it, nerd?”
he shyly looks at you, “yeah, but it’s too expensive.” he admits, clearly embarrassed. he feels like he was parading around his misfortune, look at this loser! no friends, no lover and now he doesn’t even have money. choi soobin, born on this earth and destined to be a loser.
“i’ll buy it for you.” your words cut through his thoughts. his cute hopeful eyes look up at you, and you interrupt him before he could utter out another word.
“but, you need to try it on for me first.” you continue, a pointed look on your face.
he pause for a second, the request was innocent enough, right?
☆★☆
he should’ve known, nothing was innocent with you. that's why he’s standing in the middle of the changing room with you sitting in the corner. a smirk on your lips.
“strip.”
he hesitates, but slowly shrugs off his jean jacket, he’s done this many times in front of you, and you’ve explored every nook and cranny his body can offer. but he never ceases to feel shy in his own skin, especially when you observe him like a collector would with a jewel. maybe its the setting that’s making him bashful, it feels borderline illegal to do such an act in the mall. even though many people have stripped down naked in the changing room, the way you make him feel is so sinful.
he takes off his turtleneck, exposing his bare chest, the silver collar complimenting his pale skin beautifully. it wasn’t much of a striptease and more of an activity he had to get over and done with, but it was still extremely arousing for you. watching him debase himself in his casual clothing. normally you only saw him in his school uniform (bruised, injured, crying, fucked out of his mind and all other similar variants), but watching him in his own clothing made you feel so much more powerful. like you had control and dominance over him even outside of school.
he awkwardly stands in the middle, half-naked. waiting for your next command. it didn't even take that much to train him! naturally so obedient.
“take off your pants too.”
he whimpers at this, clutching at his pants but not making a move. he begs you with his eyes, take pity on him please! not here!
“i’m… not wearing anything underneath”
“i know, take it off.”
“i, i, no, it’s.” he stammers, sweaty hands staining his pants.
“no? are you saying no to me?”
he shivers at your tone, nervously gulping. this didn't seem good at all. “i—!”his ears ring, reverberating in his chest. his right cheek was stinging red. “wh—“
you slap him again.
“mutts don’t talk.”
he shuts up at this, tears threatening to spill onto his glasses. you pull him forward by the silver collar and he helplessly stumbles as you tug him around. you observe the red slap marks on his cheeks, intertwined with his blush.
“you’ve been disrespectful since the beginning of the date. first you show up late and now you refuse to do something so simple? are you trying to make me mad choi soobin?”
he shakes his head desperately, a tear slipping down. he must be the lowest scum of the earth, because the rougher you treat him, the tighter his pants get. he isn’t a masochist he swears, but your attention (no matter good or bad) on him feels so good. he was so touch and attention starved, desperate for any kind of recognition from you.
“i’ll only repeat myself once, strip.”
he stumbles up, shaky hands quickly peeling his pants off his legs. his already hard cock embarrassingly erect and dripping the moment it’s exposed.
“look at that.” you coo, slapping his dick, making precum drip to the floor as he cries. “pretending to be so shy and innocent while you’re sporting a rock hard boner.”
he snivels pathetically, shaking his head and making his hair tousle around. the silver collar glints like a gem in the light. you chuckle cruelly. “okay, put your limited edition shirt on now.”
he bites back a whimper, he wanted you to touch him so bad. but he obediently slips on the shirt, it feels so dull against his skin, barely covering his cock. soobin rubs his thighs together, now more interested in you rather than the shirt. he wanted you to adore and spoil him, hell, spank him and hurt him too— just anything!
as if you read his mind, your hand reaches out, before you could even touch him, he starts trembling. you pull back with an amused smile and he immediately begins to cry and beg.
“no— no please touch me please touch me i’m sorry, i, i wanna, i wanna be good for you please!”
“bunny can’t even keep quiet?” you tease, putting your hands behind your back and he whines. the nickname thumping in his heart.
he starts again, though this time he tries to control his voice, suddenly aware that you two were still in public— only hidden away by a thin curtain. his bottom lip quivers as he moves closer to you, fingers meekly reaching out to grasp your hoodie. he leans his head on your chest and a small weak whisper escapes his pink lips.
“you already own me… so please just touch me…”
a shiver runs down your spine, holy shit this was dangerous. playing sly at first and now coy? he had an effect on you that you weren’t sure you liked. “i get it already so shut up and come here.” you lowly groan, pulling his body flush against yours. he tremors out a whine as you roughly grab his cock. he couldn’t complain though, because your warm hands were embracing him and touching him exactly where he wants. he melts in your hold, face comfortably nestled in the crook of your neck as you played with his cock. his groans and whines die down in your shoulder, and the way you thumbed his slit was almost domestic.
fuck what was this pathetic man doing to you? here you are in the changing rooms, letting this loser hug and sniffle into your shoulder as you jerk him off. the whole situation was bizarre and you were starting to feel lightheaded. weren't he supposed to be the one servicing you?
you press down on his cockhead particularly hard and he cries into your neck, biting the collar of your hoodie as you slide his cock underneath the limited edition shirt, rubbing him with the friction of the fabric. this sets him off, the motion just felt way too good, he keens into your fist, panting into your shoulder as he holds your hoodie tightly.
it was taking a little more than usual to make him orgasm, normally you would describe his orgasm speed as 'embarrassingly fast', but he seemed to be holding out for some reason. you give his cock an experimental squeeze and he just digs his face into your neck more. then it hits you, you haven’t given him permission yet. could he have been waiting for your verbal confirmation? maybe that's why he was squinting his eyes so tightly and biting down on your collar. just the thought itself sparked heat in your lower regions. it satisfied you more than you would like to admit.
so you lean down to where he was tucked, breath touching his ear.
“come for me”
it was a simple test on a guinea pig, cause and effect.
you eye him down as his body quivers, face flushing a thousand shades of red with an embarrassing amount of saliva wetting your hoodie collar. right after the command he releases, cock jittery and shaky as it spurts out come into the limited edition shirt. he finally lets go of your hoodie, taking a second to gain back his strength. when he comes to clarity, you can see the panic set in his throat. staring at the ruined limited edition shirt.
"what do we do? it's dirty now!"
"we buy it, what else?"
he hesitates and you raise a brow. "but, the, cashier she might, see this."
he vaguely gestures to the come stain on the shirt, right above his now flaccid cock.
"so? hurry up and change."
soobin seems troubled at your nonchalant response, but changes back to his outfit as you asked, timidly holding the ruined limited edition shirt. you shove the dollar bills in his hand.
"go up to the cashier, and pay."
somehow he summons up the courage to walk up to the counter, trying to ignore the feeling of his dick making contact with the rough jean fabric each time he took a step. it was all smooth at first, he let the cashier scan the item (making sure the stained patch was hidden), paid with the cash and felt the relief of freedom just as the cashier took the shirt to bag.
only for her to pause, soobin feels his palms clamber with sweat. she was staring at the shirt, an unreadable expression on her face before her eyes meet back with his.
"sir, it seems this shirt is stained."
god please just strike him down already.
"oh." he feels so dumb, only able to let out a sound in response. his tongue wasn't cooperating, how was he going to explain? what could he say? what should he say?
"ugh," the sound of exasperation makes him jolt. she's disgusted. she's definitely disgusted and he can never show his face in this store again.
"—it seems like the only one in stock. i'm so sorry for that sir."
she still doesn't know a thing. his heart was threatening to jump out of his throat. "it's, it's alright." his words came out weaker than he would've liked.
"are you sure si—"
"yes! yes! please give me that!" he couldn't help his sudden outburst, snatching the item from the poor lady's hands and running off in the opposite direction. he was dying from humiliation and his feet carried him like the wind over to you. he bit back tears as he faced you, bashfully showing you the receipt. it was times like this when he wishes he wasn't so tall, it would be so much easier to hide away in shame.
"what happened?" your introspective voice came through, he could hear your smirk.
"she saw the stain" he had to use all his willpower not to cry, hands clutching onto the shirt tightly. it was humiliating to admit, but a small part of him felt relief in his confession— as if the natural progression was for you to give him comfort and ease his anxieties.
"look at you soobin, so embarrassed and ashamed of your come stained shirt." you coo in your familiarly condescending yet comforting tone and he folds, nodding in agreement, tears brimming in his eyes. you rub his cheek, which was still red from the slap. it was such a surprisingly caring act that surprised both you and him, but he melted into your touch like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"you were so obedient bunny, let's go to the restaurant." he dumbly bobbed his head at the nickname. all he could think was how the humiliation was so worth the reward.
☆★☆
the cafe was packed, but it wasn't a big problem in the private booth. you tap your finger on the counter as you watch soobin go through the menu for the fifth time now. indecisive was his middle name.
"hurry up."
"what do you want?"
he's asked this for a millionth time now, could he really not decide without your input? the waiter has been standing there for a good minute. "dude, just choose what you want already. i'm getting impatient."
he purses his lips in clear panic, pointing to a random food item on the menu. "i'll, i'll have this!"
"an extra spicy jjamppong coming up." the waiter escapes quickly, leaving soobin with an exasperated and intimidated expression after having his order read out for him.
"what? loser can't handle spice?" you tease. he looks at you with a frown.
"i can eat spice!"
"right." the conversation ends there, but you weren't just going to just let him off like that. the table was so nicely set up after all, such a thick tablecloth.
"soobin, pull down your pants."
he immediately widens his eyes, looking around rapidly to see if anyone heard. "i, i don't know i,"
"calm down, no one can see under the tablecloth. pull it down." you rest your foot on his inner thigh, signalling to him. he lets out a shaky breath. your grin broadens as his hands travel down, shuffling his pants down to his knees. still paranoid, he takes another glance at the other customers.
you focus on something else entirely, your trailing foot to his exposed crotch to be exact. when the leather of your soles makes impact with his naked cock he wails before slapping a hand over his mouth. his thighs instinctively clamp around your foot, shivering and shaking his head. "mean, you're mean."
his bottom lip was quivering, thighs still clamped tightly as you pressed your foot down harder. "please." he whispers.
"hm?"
"please please ple—"
"here's your orders." the waiter interrupts with both of your orders, soobin glances at the man with terrified eyes, looking over at you in a silent prayer.
you smile graciously (you press harder on his cock) as you take the plates (his thighs shake and you rub your foot ever so slightly), what a nice waiter, of course, you had to start a conversation! (he tried to control his panting but his face was a scarlet red), turns out the waiter was born in japan, how very interesting (you start going in a circular motion and soobin nearly keens), his father met his mother during a road trip! (you knew from his expression that he was already leaking onto your shoes), wow and he's fluent in three languages (soobin's thighs are spasming and you were rubbing him hard, you can tell he couldn't hold it in anytime soon).
"it all started when i encountered a multilingual tourist as a child."
the conversation was a little redundant now, wasn't it? you were talking to the waiter, yet staring intensely at soobin in the eyes, a snicker on your lips. "come again?" you press down, and his body shudders, thighs so tightly squeezed around your foot it could almost cut circulation, he was curled in ever so slightly. shivering in the aftereffects of his second orgasm today.
"huh?" the confused tone of the waiter piques.
"nevermind, thank you for your time."
the waiter leaves, slightly befuddled by the conversation. while you turn your attention back to soobin who is breathing heavily with red-tinted cheeks. "wow, orgasming in a public space again, what a perv."
the words hit him hard in his chest and tears drop from his eyes, he could only let out a small 'sorry' in shame before dropping his head down. his sleeves come up to desperately wipe at his eyes and save some face, at least it was all over now and he could enjoy his meal in peace, hopefully!
"can... can i pull my pants back up now?"
"hmm can you?" you tease, and he pauses, unsure of how to approach the situation.
"can i please?" some begging would do the trick, right?
"you can if you jerk yourself off."
he pouts, and more tears drop on the table as he squeezes his thighs around your foot. but he obediently slides his hands down to try and make himself hard again. his cock was so so so sensitive to the sensation, but limp in his hands. it hurts to stroke, it hurts to touch. the longer it took for him to get it up the more he frowned and panicked.
finally, you had enough, you were just playing with him anyway, so you slide your foot off with a chuckle. he looks at you in confusion. "i was joking dumbass, put your pants back on."
you dig into your food, and soobin follows suit right after he shuffles his pants back on, looking up at you hesitantly. though the moment the food touched his tongue, all he could think was—spicy! now he was crying for an entirely different reason, he was never the strongest spice contender, and this was another league of spice.
you notice his discomfort, laughing when he ducks his head down. "too spicy?" "no..." he responds, surprisingly stubborn on this matter. he pettily eats another spoonful of noodles (swiftly to regret it). you just roll your eyes, watching him eat in amusement.
☆★☆
the date ended smoothly after, nothing else notable happened (other than some pervy touches and teasing from your side), back at your room again (it was a common occurrence for the two of you to stay in your room, he told you once he didn't enjoy staying in his home).
you flopped onto your bed while soobin shuffled in, putting his things neatly to the side and closing the door behind him. he stared at you as you typed messages to your friends (they had been filling up your notifications all day because you were ignoring them), he awkwardly stood near the foot of the bed.
"uhm, i, thank you, for today. i had fun." he starts bashfully.
"so you don't have fun with me every other day?" you deadpan and he stutters, being caught off guard.
"n—no that's, not what i—"
"i wasn't serious, idiot."
he shuts his mouth quickly, silent again and unsure of how to start up another conversation.
"god you're such a loser. look in that bag over there." you break the air, pointing to a grey bag you had been carrying for the whole day. he was curious about it but wasn't brave enough to ask. so when you gave him the go-ahead he didn't hesitate to dig his hand in. when he pulled out a box containing a figurine from his favourite anime, clear confusion was evident in his face.
"i didn't know you liked—"
"no shithead it's for you."
his mouth drops open, bunny-like eyes widening as your words start to register in his head. instantly he lights up visibly, smiling uncontrollably as he admires the figurine in his hands. it wasn't anything crazy, was rather affordable compared to the prices of other figurines, but soobin's heart soared at the gift and he felt like he was on cloud nine. you didn't pay attention to his reaction, or that's how it seemed, because you were secretly staring at every differing expression on his face.
"thank you... i, thank you so much..."
"it's not even a big deal, you're so dramatic."
but it was a big deal for soobin, he tenderly held the gift in his hands. this was the first time he's gotten anything from anyone other than his parents and occasionally aunt and uncle. it really did feel like the two of you were dating, even if nothing is official and the most accurate label on the relationship was 'bully and victim'.
"can i unwrap it?"
"i don't care."
he slowly unwraps the gift, taking the figurine out of the box carefully as he begins to admire all the details of the sculpture. you, on the other hand, admire him, no matter how much you deny it, there was something so addicting about both his happiness and pain. it hooked you on like a drug.
"sleep over."
he knew what you meant, in a seemingly harmless phrase. it often happened like this, an insignificant and passing statement. strange in retrospect, you were his bully and the door was right there, if soobin wanted to, he could make a run for it.
but the both of you knew he wouldn't. your attention was almost an obsession to him, no matter how good or bad.
"okay."
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Text
pretty when you cry
therapist!wanda maximoff x fem!reader
18+: mommy issues, minimal therapy talk though, smut; mommy kink, dacryphilia, thigh riding, praise kink, fingering, darkish in the fact that, not only is it an inappropriate relationship, she almost uses r’s weaknesses(?) against her, manipulative ish and a lot of language inferring r being dependent on her? idk how to describe it :/
wc: 1.5k
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Wanda listened to the way your intake of breath was shaky. She watched the subtle tapping of your foot against the carpeted ground and the way you played with your fingers in your lap.
“You never deserved to be treated that way,” she spoke. “I hope you know that.”
“The realisation of the pain almost feels worse than living through it,” you uttered back, your voice quiet as you lifted your eyes to the ceiling to will away the building tears. You avoided her gaze, the soft eyes, the wanting eyes that she couldn’t help but train on each feature of your sullen face. 
You were broken and she wanted to put you back together again. Or perhaps she aches to break you all the more, just to see how dependant on her she could make you; how lovely you would be to need her. 
“This guilt you’ve expressed - about this resentment you hold towards your family - I’d like for us to throw it away,” Wanda returned. “I hope that, together, we can bring you back - lift you to where you should be without the weight of your mother on your shoulders.”
At the tremble of your bottom lip, she lifted herself from where she sat, instead taking a seat beside you despite that line of professionalism. She took in the scent of your perfume and the up-close sight of the side of your face. She adored the shy way you glanced towards her, quickly diverting your glistening eyes when the tears began to roll along your cheeks. 
She couldn’t keep her touch away at the sound of a sniffle, a sigh of breath from your parted lips. A comforting hand took place on your thigh and you couldn't deny the warmth it ignited. Whether it was the comfort or the forbidden closeness you weren't quite sure. 
You leaned into the arm that encircled your waist, accepting the guiding of her hand that brought the side of your head to rest against her shoulder. 
“Oh, sweet girl,” she whispered with her lips ghosting the top of your head. You’d never experienced such fondness, a soft embrace when you felt as though the world had left you crumbled. 
Never before had someone shown you this kind of affection and any path of sense grew blurry. Should she be holding you this way with her hand on your leg? Should the scent of her vanilla body lotion make you dizzy? You don't know. All you know is that you don't want her to let go. 
You'd recognised her beauty, of course, and this close it was that much more astounding. When her finger and thumb took hold of your chin for you to look into her eyes you could see each fleck of colour, each bit darkened when her sights were set upon you and your pink-hued whites, your wet eyelashes and cheeks striped with tear marks. 
“You look so pretty when you cry,” she whispered, taking in your appearance lustfully. She wiped her thumb through the droplets that ran down your cheek and the touch was enough to calm the hiccuped breaths that caught in your throat, serving as a reminder of the present. Of the beautiful, older woman in front of you who was showing you that someone cared. 
Despite the hungry way she peered down at you, watching your pain slide down to your chin, her touch remained gentle. The way she watched you intently barely made you shrink, her musing eyes drank up the pathetic sight happily. Crying before her you looked so helpless, so pretty, so broken in need of a motherly hand to guide you. She’d bring you to tears over and over as long as she’d be the one to pick you back up. 
When you lifted your face to greet her lips with yours you were barely thinking, though when you did it was only to find her reciprocating with fervour; her hands took your face between them and yours found a place on her back with the silk material of her shirt in your grasp. It was a line you feared would have consequences. It was a line Wanda had only thought of crossing in the confines of her bedroom - one that was dangerous and thrilling and so tempting. But even a strictly professional woman such as herself has desires, she couldn’t pass up such an opportunity. 
You could feel the slick of her lip gloss against you, and you sighed at the intrusion of her tongue licking into your mouth. Her attention made your head spin. The idea that you were her sole focus, so desperate to have you she’d risk it all, the closeness of her body when she pulled you onto her lap felt safe. When wandering hands crept beneath your shirt you leaned into their touch, feeling the shivering of your spine when her nails scraped along the skin whilst her lips made their way to your neck. 
The way her body felt beneath your touch was sublime, the softness of her waist and the pillowy flesh of her breasts when you palmed at them through her bra. 
Wanda’s breath was hot against your throat, her tongue licked across the bite mark she left behind whilst she pulled you impossibly closer in her eagerness to have you near. She pulled your hips into hers, smirking against your collarbone at the whimper you failed to hide. When she pushed her thigh upwards into your clothed cunt you couldn’t hold back the grunt at the back of your throat, feeling the pressure in your aching clit. She knew you’d be soaked, that her attention would reward her with the feel of your hips aimlessly rutting against her. 
“Let mommy help you,” she murmured, pulling away from you with swollen lips, her hands taking claim of your hips to aid your movements. “I just wanna make you feel good. That okay?” 
Her voice was soft and so were her eyes and it all made your brain so hopelessly empty, succumbing to the hold she has on you. All you knew was that she cared for you, the feelings she was igniting were setting you alight and, although you shouldn’t, you wanted it. Each and every thing this woman would offer you, you’d take and swallow down. 
When you nodded she smiled and cupped your cheek. 
“Good girl.” 
She inched a hand between your bodies whilst her lips pushed to yours again, unfastening your jeans to creep past the hem of your underwear. Her fingers found how soaked you were with a swipe through your folds, your hands dug into her shoulders at the feeling of them brushing over your clit. 
“So worked up aren’t you, hm?” she murmured against the pulse point of your neck, burying her fingers into your pussy with a curl that made you moan out into the crook of her neck, your teeth daring to ghost the soft skin. You wanted to know her taste. To consume her entirely, to show her just how grateful you are. 
She adored the way you clung to her, keeping her as close as possible with your lips pressing kisses to her jaw while her fingers fucked into you; the heel of her palm pushed against your swollen bud, bringing you towards your release. 
“C’mon,” she cooed, pulling your face away from her with a gentle hand in your hair. “Look at mommy when she makes you feel good.”
You did as she said, letting her keep her eyes focused on your pleading ones. The ones that held the remnants of your tears, that were replaced with a sensual hue, glossed over and wanting. You looked at her as though she was the only thing that mattered and it made her ravenous.
The sight of you cumming onto her digits had quickly become one of her favourite views and the sounds she pulled from you would echo in her mind. Feeling your mouth against hers made her smile, the way you thanked her for the pleasure. Her pliable little doll. 
You’d do anything for her and she knows it. 
She was pleased with your obedience when you accepted the fingers she nudged past your lips, slackening your jaw to suck them clean of the mess you’d made. She tasted your sweetness in the kiss she reunited you with, knowing right away she’d have to taste you properly as soon as she could. 
Not much longer she was helping you stand up, fixing your appearance for you to take your leave, a tension lingering in the air of what was to happen next. 
“Thank you, Wanda,” you sheepishly began. “for everything - for today. I mean-“
She cut you off with a laugh that eased your awkwardness and a touch to your arm that you leaned into. 
“Same time next week?” she questioned to which you nodded right away. “And you’ve got my number. Give me a call if you need anything in the meantime,” she added with her lips quirking into a smirk as she reciprocated your small wave goodbye. 
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luveline · 5 months
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anything bombshell reader I would adore!!!
Oh my god, Spencer thinks desperately, could she give me a break? 
You waltz into the conference room wearing a smile (your smile, as heartbreakingly perfect as always) and a motorcycle jacket buttoned to the chin. There's something about it. Spencer doesn't know what it is, just that it makes you even more attractive than usual. He toys with the word sexy, and sure, you are when you want to be, but he thinks about it long and hard. You're a fucking bombshell, and you're going to kill him one day. 
“What's with the outfit?” Morgan asks immediately. 
“You can't wear that to the precinct,” Hotch says, though he sounds curious rather than annoyed. 
“You called us in unexpectedly,” you defend, holding up two perfect hands. Calluses from shooting practice line the palm of your dominant hand and you've a cut down the side of the other, and they're still perfect. Everything about you compliments everything else. “I was out.” 
“What, on your motorcycle?” JJ asks. 
“Your motorcycle?” Emily asks. 
“I didn't know you had a motorcycle,” Garcia says.
“You're ganging up on me. Spencer, honey, would you save me?” you ask, though the tone you use doesn't express much urgency as you unzip your thick jacket and toss it aside, its logos and sponsorships crumpling over the back of your chair. “You're the only one who looks pleased to see me.” 
“I am pleased to see you,” he says honestly. 
You don't make it to cases every time; you're on a different type of leasing, you always say. He doesn't have the subtlety to pretend he isn't happy you're here. You flirt with him, sure, and he enjoys it even while being out of his depths, but he likes you. You're fun and smart and good to be around. You listen. 
“They couldn't keep me away from you if they tried,” you say, head dipped gently to one side, smile far from teasing.. 
“Since when do you ride a motorcycle?” Emily asks. 
“If we could get back to the case at hand,” Hotch says, and for a moment everyone looks rightly chastised, until he adds, “we can discuss Y/N's choices afterwards.” 
What's worse than your jacket is the quickness of your brain, the connections you make, your endless suggestions. You're so good at your job it makes Spencer feel funny. Rossi, who'd been mostly silent during the exchange, sends Spencer a pitying look. 
When the case has been introduced and everyone sent to make preparations for another trip, you and Spencer remain in the conference room. You, because your go bag is already here and you don't have much to do, and Spencer, because you're here.
“Do you really have a motorcycle?” 
You tap your nose. “Need to know, babe.” 
“I sort of do need to know. If you have a motorcycle, I should probably be spending more time worrying about you.”
“Well, it's not mine.” 
He feels a crushing wave of rejection descend on him. “Right,” he says. He knew this would happen. He knew you were just being nice—
“I'm borrowing it from a friend. Mostly to see if I still knew how.” You put your chin in your hand, smiling knowingly. “Who's did you think it was, Dr. Reid?” 
“Don't do that,” he says. 
“Or what?” You ease up anyhow. “If you don't like being flirted with, Spence, I won't do it.” 
“I didn't say that, just don't– don't look at me like that.” 
You sigh morosely, but your dramatics are unconvincing, and a smile plays on your painted lips. “Alright, I won't. But it's how you were looking at me, you realise? How's that fair?” 
Spencer is about to say you know how, but do you really? Why is it fair for him to ogle you (albeit without meaning to) when you walk in, but when you make your soft googly eyes at him, he tells you to stop? Maybe because his are real, and yours are… questionable in authenticity. 
You're smart enough to see that debate before it forms. “I have less choice over it all than you think, you know?” you ask, softer than before. 
“I know,” he says. He doesn't, obviously, because the idea that you flirt with him accidentally is hard to accept, because who is Spencer to you? Your nerdy, socially clueless coworker who very clearly has a crush on you. Why would you like that? So he doesn't know about that, but he knows about having little choice in the manner; he sees you and he trips over himself trying to get you to see him. 
“I say it every time, but I've missed you, handsome. How have you been?” you ask. 
Spencer forgets the depth of his crush in the face of a friend. “I'm good, I've been reading all this Russian existentialist literature–” 
“Yeah? Anything good?” 
Spencer beams. “Actually, yeah. There's this one writer, you've probably read him already, Dostoevsky…”
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