#and we don’t even have Nate or Teddy yet

[fact-dogsarehappiness]

My problem with the mcu right now is that Billy and Tommy are kids but Kate, Cassie, and Elijah are adults which means no Young Avengers and I’m not pleased

#and we don’t even have Nate or Teddy yet #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #wandavision #falcon and the winter soldier #hawkeye #billy kaplan #tommy shepard #kate bishop #elijah bradley #cassie lang #young avengers

[teaisbetterthanu]

Nah cuz fuck it I’m making a short fic based off of episode 5 of Music Freaks

(SPOILER ALERT AHHHH)

Ship: Francis/Teddy

Inspo: Music Freaks

Genre: …fluff I guess? But some angst??

Teddy’s heart raced as he stood near the English room’s door. School was over, but he wasn’t here for learning. He was there for Francis.

He had been pining over the blond ever since he met him. Not knowing how to say a single word about it, he stayed silent. But today, today just felt like the day.

He had thought Francis was alone. Maybe he could have a moment of time just for eachother. But, he wasn’t.

There he stood, as he saw his loved one’s lips pressed against what looked like Shelia, the girl from their home room. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to.

Paige broke free and stepped back timidly. “Francis..I-I know, we’ve never really talked, but I think you should know.. I really like you. Maybe if we became close, we could, Y’know, become connected somehow!”

The blonde stood there, shocked. He couldn’t react properly. He hadn’t felt this way for someone like Shelia. He barely knew her. He was..chasing after something else. “S-Shelia,I…”

That was when he noticed. The boy of his dreams, standing near the doorframe. Ortiz stood there, with tears in his eyes. All this effort, he thought. All this pain. All this fear I had to get rid of, and I get this? He felt as if he couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. Not here, not now. He was heartbroken.

“OH FUCK IT!” Teddy screamed as he dashed out the door with tears in his eyes. He didn’t want to face this anymore. He couldn’t. How could he? He’d been falling for years, and yet he still didn’t have his happy ending.

“Teddy! Wait!” Francis called after him, but it wasn’t any use. His voice couldn’t project enough. He himself, for the first time, just wanted to disappear. But he started to run after him, only to he grabbed by the hand by the lass standing next to him. “Francis…i haven’t heard your-“ “I’m sorry, Shelia. But I don’t think it’ll work out.”

He ran out in a panic, as he chased Ortiz down the halls. Chad, standing by, happened to notice. “Guys, I think somethings wrong…” He turned to Artur and DeeDee. “Oh, there’s no way I’m missing this!” DeeDee chased after, along with Artur and Chad following along.

Through the halls they ran, Teddy in the lead. As they ran out the door, Chad grabbed Nate by the arm on the porch. “WHA-“ “No time to talk! We got an issue in Romeo and Julien!”

Teddy had already ran have way down the street, and Francis managed to keep up. Both Pope and Ortiz tuckered themselves out, and stood there by the fountain of the Towns park.

Teddy turned around and seemed extremely steamed. “Oh, what do YOU want?!” He hissed with tears. “Teddy-“

“Don’t even bother. You deserve to be with your PRECIOUS girlfriend. That’s what you WANT, RIGHT?!”

“Teddy please-“

“GO BACK AND BE HAPPY WITH HER!” Ortiz choked. “Y-you…deserve to be HAPPY.”

“I DON’T LIKE HER, TEDDY! I LIKE YOU!” Francis blurted out. He couldn’t hide anymore. Teddy needed him more than anything, and he needed Teddy. He just knew it.

Teddy seemed shocked. Once again, he couldn’t think. He hesitated, and he was stiff. “….What?…”

Francis bit his lip. Welp, no turning back now. “…Teddy, I’m..in love with you. A-And I have been, for so long.” He said as his heart fluttered.

“I’ve been trying to tell you for a long time, but recently, it seems that I’ve been making you uncomfortable constantly. I-I cant find the right time, and you kept getting upset-“

“Y-you..don’t make me uncomfortable, Francis.” Teddy said. Anxiety overwhelmed him. He got the green light, didn’t he? Why was he still afraid?

“I..” he stuttered. “It’s just..I wanted to protect what we still had. I didn’t want to lose you as a friend..even if it meant I had to close off everything I’ve ever felt…”

Tears filled his eyes once again. “I…just d-didn’t want to lose you…” He tried his best not to breakdown. He trembled and felt he were to fall over.

“Teddy..You’ll never lose me. I promise.” Francis comforted the best he could. Suddenly, Teddy when back to being all uptight and closed.

“W-well- I’m not as good as Shelia, you know.. I’m too quiet and boring, and I can get jealous easil-“

He was stopped in his tracks. He felt the soft touch of Francis’ lips touching his. Suddenly, everything around him melted. He felt his heart beating faster, and he turned a vibrant red. As tears fell from his face, he held his lover’s hand and pulled him close. The kiss created bliss between both Blonde and the Brunette. For once, they were at peace. Together.

They broke free and stared dearly into each other’s eyes. “I love you, Teddy.” Francis whispered sincerely as he held his lover. “I..” Teddy stammered. “I love you too.” He said as he embraced Francis arms intertwined in his.

Nearby, not so far away, their crew was stalking observing from afar. “Ouch! Nate, you are crushing am foot!” “Well so-RRY, but DEEDEE won’t stop SHOVING ME!” “It’s not my fault you have such a big ass!” “Guys, cut it out!”

Nate looked above. “Is the coast clear?” “I think so!” DeeDee chimed in.

She jumped in the air. “Finally! The ship has set sail!” “Yup! Been waiting for YEARS!” Chad clapped. “Yes, very happy!” Artur said wiping his eyes.

“Are you cRYING-“ Nate asked, worrisomely. “Oh yes, sorry, am just very happy for them. They are been so in love for long time, and they look very sweet together.”

“So, DeeDee, when do YOU plan on tying a knot with you-know-who?” Chad smirked. DeeDee gushed. “WHY YOU- GET OVER HERE! I’M GONNA FUCKING CLOBBER YOU!” She chased after Chad. “Aahh! Artur, save me!!” Chad ran around.

“Hokay, Please no DeeDee!” Artur chuckled as he ran after them. “OI, wait for ME!” Nate chimed as he ran behind.

Maybe this was a start.

#big nate #teddy x francis #ahhhhh babies #music freaks

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

as discussed gary is grown up jack from magic tree house

(Been mulling this one over for a while and finally got something)

AO3

“We need to get out of here!”

"No, not yet!”

He heard an explosion before he felt the floor he was on shake. A few pieces of the drywall crumbled from above. His sister was still paging through her book of spells.

“What are you two still doing here?” Kathleen’s hand was pulling him back. “We have to go.”

“She’s not done yet! Kathleen, please!”

The ceiling came down between them and his sister. Her shocked face was the last thing he saw before the dust and rubble obscured his vision.

“ANNIE!”

Gary inhaled sharply as he woke up. For a few moments, he was paralyzed from the nightmare he’d relived yet again. Once his muscles relaxed, he reached out to grab his glasses and put them on his face. With the world a little more clearer, Gary sighed and sat up.

He hated that nightmare more than anything. Losing his little sister had been the worst day of his life. They’d been thick as thieves for years through all their adventures. Having to leave her behind and then lying to his parents about her getting separated from him in the woods had been awful. He remembered every police interview, his parents’ pleas for their daughter to come home, and all the questions kids kept asking him.

When he was old enough, he decided he needed a fresh start. He was done with those days. Not even Morgana’s offer to become an apprentice was enough to lure him back. He changed his name, became Gary Green, and set out to find a way to get back to his sister. But years passed, and his efforts proved fruitless. He was ready to throw in the towel by the time a man in a suit sat across from him the library as he poured over yet another history textbook.

When Rip Hunter had talked to him about the Time Bureau, he’d selfishly seen it as a chance to find his little sister. The job also sounded pretty simple to him. He’d been traveling through time and completing missions since he was eight. Yes, it was more complicated now and he’d made mistakes, but Gary knew what he was doing. Even with all the paperwork and assignments, he still found time to visit where he had lost Annie. However, there had been no body.

She was still out there, but the question was where?

Gary finally rose from the bed and shoved his feet into slippers and pushed open the door to get to the bathroom. Yesterday had been the anniversary of their separation, so it was weighing on him heavily. He was another year older and wiser from magic and time travel, but no closer to finding Annie. Maybe this coming year would be different. Perhaps he’d finally find her, just like he told himself every year.

He had to wait for Nate to get out of the bathroom before he could head on it. Once the historian was out, Gary stumbled in and pulled out his toiletry kit and clothes. HIs wallet slipped out of his pants. He bent down to pick it up, staring at the Master Librarian card he’d received so many years ago. Behind it was Annie’s, which was all he had found when he visited the place where he’d last seen her.

“How long have you been hanging on to that old thing?”

Gary looked up in the mirror to see he was no longer alone. It took all his might not to yelp at the sight of the stranger behind him. He whirled around to face the woman who’d been standing behind him. It took a moment to place her face and account for the years that had passed. But her eyes gave her away. He only knew one person with eyes that he could never tell were green or blue.

“Kathleen?”

The selkie smiled and stepped forward to hug him. “Hello, Jack.”

He embraced the old friend instantly. In an instant, he was a boy again on another adventure, happy to see his friend and someone he had once had a crush on. Then reality caught up to him. Gary took a step back from her, earning a head tilt from Kathleen.

“It’s Gary now,” he told her, knowing his expression was harder than he wanted it to be. “I changed it. I needed a fresh start.”

“I remember,” her tone become much cooler. “I still remember the day you decided to quit working with Morgan and Merlin.”

"I’m not going on another mission for you.”

Morgan and Merlin were gaping at him. In the background, Kathleen nearly dropped the stack of books she’d been ready to file. She caught them just in time, but made no move to shelve them. Her eyes were solely on him.

“What do you mean you’re not doing another mission?” Merlin asked roughly. “I know your treehouse is gone, but we can find a replacement for-”

“It was our treehouse,” Jack spat back at the wizard. “And there’s not replacement for it. Kathleen and I almost didn’t make it back after it caught fire when you sent us to that horrible place! Annie and Teddy didn’t!”

“I know,” Morgan nodded. “And we are so sorry, Jack. The loss of a sister is...awful.”

“My parents aren’t going to be letting me out of sight again!” Jack shouted. “They think Annie got kidnapped and I can’t tell them the truth again! I tried and they made me talk to someone because they think I’m making it up! Everything is different now but you think it can still be the same!”

“Time will pass and-”

“No,” he shook his head. “I’m done. I’m out of this. I quit.”

The books fell from Kathleen’s hands.

“Now see here-”

“Merlin,” Morgan glared at him, then approached him. “Jack, are you sure about this?”

He nodded. “It’s not the same without Annie, or the treehouse. But I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“I understand.”

“Morgan, we need all the help we can get!”

“But we will not force it,” she hissed before turning back to him. “I’ll send you back. If you ever reconsider-”

“I won’t.”

Gary looked at the cards again, thankful Morgan had at least allowed a memento of his childhood. “What have you been up to since then?”

“Well, I did succeed in becoming an enchantress,” Kathleen said proudly. “I’m still working with Morgan and Merlin sometimes. The rest of the time has been exploring time or taking care of my family.”

“Good,” Gary nodded. “So...what are you doing here? And in the bathroom no less?”

“I used magic to track you down,” she shrugged. “You’re a bit hard to pinpoint on a time machine from the future, but I found it in the end. Although I did end up in the stall as the other guy was leaving. A graceful entrance and all.”

A chuckle escaped him and she laughed in return. Then the feeling of two old friends was back again. The only two left from their childhoods.

“Good thing Nate didn’t catch you. But again, what are you doing here?”

Kathleen took a breath. “I know you said you moved on, but I still can’t forget that day. You lost a sister and we both lost Teddy. I haven’t been able to let it go. It doesn’t matter how much time passes. I keep trying to search for what happened after the ceiling caved in and the fire broke out.”

“I already looked. This was all that I was able to find.”

Gary pulled out Annie’s card from his wallet and handed it to Kathleen. To his surprise, she smiled.

“What?” he asked.

“This is all you found,” Kathleen explained. “Just a card. No bodies.”

“No bodies,” Gary repeated. “I know. They were still alive when we left.”

“Uh huh,” Kathleen nodded vigorously. “And I think I know where they are.”

“Wait, you think they’re still alive.”

The door’s handle turned. Gary realized in a panic that he’d forgotten to lock it when he first came in. He’d been too caught up in his thoughts to do so. Now it was swinging open to let Ava enter the bathroom in her pajamas.

“Gary, if you’re gonna stay on the ship, you-”

Her eyes fell on Kathleen and he face contorted into a frown directed at Gary.

“Oh man,” he groaned.

#starz in our eyes #ask box #legends of tomorrow #gary green #magic tree house #jack smith #kathleen #backstory #fanfiction #i blame twitter and tiktok

[babycracker]

I’ve lost track of the ones I sent so really just answer them all 🙈

Thank you so much, Esme! This was actually a lot of fun. All for both, here we go. Answers under the cut!

🩸 - Does your OC believe in blood being thicker than water? (meaning family relationships and loyalties are the most important)

Maya: She believes that it should be and is disappointed that it doesn't seem to be the case for her. She hates that her and Rebecca don't get along and she'd love for them to mend their relationship and is terrified that they're too far gone.

Jordan: Definitely not. She has a terrible relationship with Rebecca and has no interest in improving it. She recognises that their relationship should be better and she sometimes (very rarely) gets upset about not having any kind of bond with her, but she's always quick to remember that the connections she's built for herself with other people are much stronger than anything she ever shared with her Mum.

✂️ - What kind of thing would have your OC cut someone out of their life? How likely are they to let someone back in?

Maya: It would take a lot. Like, a lot. She honestly can't imagine being in a situation where she'd want to cut someone out completely. And if the worst was to happen, it wouldn't be permanent. She's absolutely the forgiving type and she'll give people however many chances they need.

Jordan: It'd take a lot for Jordan too, but she definitely has a line that's not to be crossed. She won't tolerate dishonesty or someone falsely accusing her, indicating that they don't trust her. And once someone's out, it's incredibly difficult for them to get back in, if they ever completely do. She doesn't exactly hold grudges, but she definitely doesn't forget and the fact that they lost trust in her or broke her trust will linger in the back of her mind, maybe forever.

🎭 - Does your OC show different sides of themselves to different people?

Maya: Nope. Maya is Maya no matter who's around.

Jordan: In a subtle way, yes. She's still very much Jordan, but she's softer with Adam (sometimes), more playful with Felix, more serious with Nate and more sarcastic and I guess vulgar with Mason? She definitely harnesses different aspects of her personality depending on who she's with. She doesn't even realise she's doing it most of the time.

🩺 - Does your OC accept help easily? Are they willing to admit when they need help?

Maya: She struggles to admit that she needs help in the beginning, but it doesn't take long for her to cave and accept any and all help available to her.

Jordan: No. Just no, on both counts. She'd rather pass out from exhaustion than admit she needs help, and it infuriates her if someone offers her help of their own accord. It's how the majority of her arguments with Adam start lol.

💡 - How does your OC enact plans? Do they plan down to the smallest details, or do they wing it?

Maya: Definitely a planner, borderline anal about it. It makes her anxious if she has to deviate from her plans for whatever reason so she usually tries to have several back up plans in place on standby that she can call on if plan A turns to shit.

Jordan: Jordan's a chaotic mess lol. She struggles to look ahead at the big picture for long enough to be able to plan too much, she's definitely living day by day. Maybe even hour by hour. She's fine with following a plan that someone else has set though, but she's not fussed whether everything goes according to it or not.

🌋 - What’s your OCs temper like? Are they a slow boil, or an instant explosion?

Maya: A very slow boil. And even once she blows her top she's pretty pleasant and reasonable about it. She's just not an angry person in general.

Jordan: Bit of both? She simmers away for a little while but it doesn't take much for her to go from that to blowing up at everything and everyone around her.

⏰ - What is your OC like at timekeeping? Are they punctual, or always running late?

Maya: Always punctual, she goes out of her way to make sure of it.

Jordan: She'll get there when she gets there, lol.

🎁 - What kind of gift-giver are they? Do they give thoughtful gifts? Expensive gifts? Practical gifts?

Maya: Generally thoughtful gifts. It causes her anxiety if she for whatever reason needs to give a gift to someone she doesn't yet know well. She prefers to have a clear idea of who people are and she searches for months if she has the time until she's found something perfect.

Jordan: Not much of a gift giver in general. She'd rather share an experience with someone like spending the day with them doing something she knows they're gonna have an awesome time doing, or she's really good at small and simple yet meaningful gestures. If she's forced to buy an actual gift for someone though, she'd probably get something more practical than anything else.

📎 - How organised is your OC? Do they keep on top of responsibilities, or leave things to the last minute?

Maya: Very organised. So organised that Adam is impressed and Felix is baffled.

Jordan: Like I said, chaotic mess. Adam's taken to showing up at the police station every couple of weeks to help her with the paperwork that he knows has been ignored and allowed to build up on her desk.

🧸 - On a scale of 1 - 10, how ‘soft’ is your OC? 1 being the edgiest of edges and 10 being a literal teddy bear that cries at everything? (Bonus questions, where on the scale would your OC place themselves, and where would they like to be on the scale?)

Maya: Already answered this one for Maya here.

Jordan: Honestly, she's probably around a 3, most of the time. She knows how to be nice, she just prefers not to be for the most part because she's not out here looking for friends. She's probably the softest with Felix, his presence might bump her up to a 5. She'd tell you that she's a 5 all the time, she gets a little testy either way, whether someone tells her she's a softy or calls her a bitch. She argues with both and insists that she's an even balance between the two. Where she wishes she was on the scale depends on her mood and what's going on. Sometimes she wishes she was a 1, usually when someone/s has/have pissed her off and she wishes that she didn't let people get under her skin so easily. Other times she wishes she was around an 8 because sometimes her attitude turns people off a little and it makes it difficult for her to speak to new people.

💬 - Is your OC much of a talker? Do they only speak when spoken to? (Or not even then?) Do they ever talk over others?

Maya: She's a talker once she gets comfortable, but she's very shy when first meeting people. Miss Maya knows her manners and would never talk over the top of someone.

Jordan: A big talker, she doesn't care who's listening. Or not listening. And she has no issues with talking over the top of people if said people are saying moronic things, lol.

🌅 - What is your OCs favourite time of day? Are they a morning person or a night owl?

Maya: Morning person. Annoyingly cheery, nothing can bring her down when she first gets out of bed.

Jordan: Uhh I guess night owl, if only for the fact that she really hates getting up in the morning. Really though her favourite time of day is right before/right on dusk, when everything starts to slow down. On a normal day, anyway.

🥦 - Does your OC eat healthily or live off junk food?

Maya: JUNK. All the junk, all the time. She's frequently got a lollipop in her mouth and always has lollies (candy?? idk american speak lol) on hand for if she gets peckish during the day. Most days her breakfast is a donut or a pop tart, the only meal she really makes an effort with is dinner. Sometimes.

Jordan: She eats mostly healthy. She's far from a health nut but she's mindful of how much sugar and fat she consumes.

🍹 - Does your OC drink? If so, what’s their drink of choice?

Maya: Nope. Not a drinker at all.

Jordan: Occasionally, maybe once or twice every two weeks or so. She hates beer and wine, mostly because they get her plastered faster than anything else, but she drinks Vodka like it's water.

🍺 - What kind of drunk are they? (e.g. talkative, sleepy, flirty etc.)

Maya: Doesn't drink, has never been drunk. Who knows?

Jordan: She's handsy af when she's drunk. Not necessarily in a sexual way, but she just gets very affectionate and touchy feely.

#ask kat #oc asks #mutual esme

[avengerscompound]

Legacy - Chapter 9

Legacy: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Clint Barton x  F!Reader

Word Count:  2185

Rating:  E

Square filled:   @clintbartonbingo - Free Space

Warnings:  Pregnancy, domestic abuse, post-endgame, angst, developing-relationship, hurt/comfort, smut, Laura and Clint have broken up.  Comic Clint/MCU Clint mix.

Synopsis: Nothing is the same after the events of Endgame.  When Clint has trouble returning to a life where his family hasn’t changed but he has lost everything, he moves back to the city and tries to move on as a single parent. When Nate finds you bruised and pregnant in the stairwell of his building, he decides that there might be another way that he can make Nat’s sacrifice worth something.

Chapter 9

You had fallen asleep not long after you’d been moved to your maternity room.  It was a nice room.  Clint putting you on his health insurance meant you got the best.  No point risking your life all the time if there weren’t some perks.  It had a queen-sized bed.  A proper bed too.  Not just one of those uncomfortable hospital ones with the wheels.  There was a comfortable chair specially designed for breastfeeding.  A couch for visitors.  A big screen tv.  There was a private bathroom that even had a spa, though Clint didn’t quite understand who would want to actually stew in a pool of still water after they’d given birth.

After they’d brought you back to the room you’d fretted about the baby for a while and then passed out exhausted.  He’d napped with you, curled around you protectively.  It had been a long day and he was exhausted after everything.

He didn’t sleep deeply and woke just a few hours later.  He wasn’t sure what exactly was keeping him awake.  Perhaps he was just worried about you and wanted to be awake to take care of you if he needed it.  Maybe it was that the baby wasn’t in the room with you both.  When Laura had given birth Nate he’d just been left with them.  Now he had a new baby and they just weren't here.

He got up and went to the hall.  It was busier out there with nursing staff moving around, babies crying, people taking little walks, flowers and teddy bears being delivered, and visitors coming to take a look at the new member of their family.  Clint made a few phone calls.  He called Laura first to check she made it to the kids okay and to let her know the baby was here. He spoke to the kids and told them about their new sister.  Then he called Kate to let her know too.  Finally, he rang Pepper.  You technically weren’t supposed to start your maternity leave for another week and while Pepper was way, way up the chain for who would actually be affected by you not showing up, he thought she might like to hear about the new baby Avenger.  He then texted some of the others to let them know too.  As soon as he did his phone began to buzz with congratulations.

It was touching that they cared really.  That even though the new baby wasn’t technically his, they were all on board with the idea that this baby was his.  That after all the death in the world they’d had to mourn, now they had a new life to celebrate.

After he’d made the calls he went for a short walk.  First to check on the baby.  She was so tiny and fragile looking as she slept in her incubator.  With what he knew about the Universe he hoped he was strong enough to protector her.  Or at least strong enough to know that sometimes you couldn’t and she’d have to live her own life too.  He ran his hand down her back and felt the small rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

“You get big and strong, little one.  We want to take you home as soon as we can.”  He whispered.

After visiting with her he went for a walk to the cafeteria, grabbing himself a coffee and a danish.  He wanted to bring you back something too but was worried you might not be allowed to drink coffee yet and he also didn’t want to wake you.  So he grabbed a bottle of Snapple and a danish for you too before heading back upstairs.

There was a large edible arrangement sitting at the door with a big pink plush duck sitting on top.  He looked at the card and saw it was from Pepper.  He was glad that he’d organized those few playdates with Pepper.  It was good seeing Morgan and Nate playing together and he wanted to keep that bond with Pepper now that Tony was gone.  It was too easy to put those things off until the people in your life you considered your family were just a bunch of strangers you tell people are your friends.  They’d all been through too much and lost too much to let that happen.  He and Pepper had lost more than anyone.

He scooped it up and carried it inside the room, finding you sitting up in bed looking at your phone.  “There you are.  I was about to text you.”  You said.

“Sorry,”  Clint said sheepishly.  “Didn’t mean to worry you.  Just thought I’d check on the baby.”

“Who’s that from?”  You asked indicating to the bouquet made from chocolates.

“Pepper sent it.  Cool, huh?”  He said putting it on the ledge behind the bed.  “Got you a drink and a danish too.”  He added plopping both in your lap and kissing you on the top of your head.

“It’s awesome.”  You said.  “How’s bubs?”

“She seems fine.  Tiny but some of the babies in there are hooked up to a bunch of things, she’s not.  So I take that as a good sign.”  He said.

You smiled and took a swig from the bottle before dragging over a pile of paperwork.  “Nurse dropped this off while you were gone. It’s the birth certificate stuff.  You sure you want to go on this.  I can keep the name blank.”

“Will you stop that?”  Clint said.  “I don’t want her to think my involvement in her life comes with conditions.  Okay?  I’m her dad.”

You curled into his side and grabbed a pen, writing in Clinton Francis Barton under father.  You let out a breath when you did and turned your head up to look at him.  He leaned in and kissed you deeply, his thumb caressing your neck as his lips moved with yours.

You pulled back and tapped your pen on the form.  “So just the name then.”

“You didn’t have any names you’d talked about before?”  He asked.

“I never talked to Richard about them.  When I was a kid I guess I had some favorites.”  You said.  “I just… is it weird that I want to pay tribute to your friends?  Natasha particularly.  It feels like she��s the reason why we’re together.”

Clint let out a soft breath, tears pricking his eyes.  “Nat was always setting me up with people.”  He said.  “Still doing it, huh?”

You smiled and nuzzled into him.  “Feels that way.”  You said.  “The problem is having a Nat and a Nate would be a little confusing.”

“Her middle name was Alianova,”  Clint said.  “Maybe we could do something with that?”

You pulled out your phone and started typing into it.  “Huh.  This says that means her dad’s name was Alian.”

Clint furrowed his brow.  “That’s weird.  Red Skull said it was Ivan.”  He shook his head like he was trying to clear it.  He hated thinking about that moment.  Where he’d gone from being excited about flying an actual spaceship with his best friend, on his way to get his kids back to having to watch her die.  It didn’t matter what her father’s name was anyway.  She never knew who it was.

“Ali could be nice.”  You said.

“That’s normally short for something though.  What would it be short for?”  He said.

“It doesn’t have to be.  There’s a kid in New Zealand named ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’.  I don’t think there’s anything stopping us from just calling her just Ali.”  You said.

Clint choked.  “That can’t be true.”

“It is!  So… what do you think?”   You said.

“About the name ‘Number 16 Bus Shelter’?  It’s a bit long.”  Clint teased.

You laughed and elbowed him.  “No.”

“If we’re just gonna give her a shortened name, why not Tasha?”  Clint said.

You looked back up at him and smiled.  “Tasha is good.  Works better with Antonia as a middle name too.”

Clint pulled you tight and kissed you again, holding you close.  He pulled back and looked down at you.  “I love you so fucking much, you know?”

“I love you too.”  You said, resting your head on his shoulder.  “So that’s what it is?  Tasha Antonia Barton?”

“Barton too?”  He said.

You pulled back from him pulling the papers closer.  “Shit.  Sorry.  I went too far, didn’t I?  It can be my name.”

Clint put his hand on yours.  It was scary really, but for some reason, he wasn’t second-guessing this at all.  “No.  I’d love for her to be a Barton.”

You kissed his cheek and filled in the name.  “Alright, you just gotta sign it and then we send it off.  Then that’s it.  She’ll have her name and you’re officially her dad.”

“Good,”  Clint said.  “We should do that right away then.”

There was a knock at the door and Laura peeked her head in.  “You up for visitors?”

“Sure.”  You said and she pushed the door open more letting in Cooper, Lila and Nate.

“We just finished naming her,”  Clint said as Nate climbed up into his lap.

“What did you choose?”  Lila asked as she put the large bouquet of sunflowers next to the edible one from Pepper.

“Tasha Antonia Barton,”  Clint said.  He noticed a look from Laura but he wasn’t quite sure what it was.  Surprise maybe.  She didn’t say anything though and he didn’t want to chase it.

“Where is she, daddy?”  Nate asked.

“She is very little and needs a bit of extra care so the doctors have her in a special room.  Do you want to go see her?”   Clint asked.

“Yes please, dad,”  Lila said.

Clint got up, lifting Nate onto his hip and pulling Lila into a headlock and kissing the top of her head.  “Alright, come on.  Are you coming to, hun?”

You got up out of the bed and pulled a robe on.  “Yes.  I might see if I can feed her.”

Your little group made your way down to the NICU.  When you got there the kids were looked over by a nurse, made to wash their hands and you were all led in.  “Here’s your little sister, Tasha,”  Clint said when they got to the incubator.

“What’s the fings for, daddy?”  Nate asked pointing at the wires that were attached to her.

“Just keeping track of her heart because she’s so small,”  Clint said.

“She’s really beautiful.  Congratulations.”  Laura said giving you a rub on the back.

“Thank you, Laura.”  You replied.

“Can we touch her?”  Lila asked.

“Yes, but gently just on her back,”  Clint said.

Each of the kids took turns putting a hand on her back and then Clint, Laura, and the kids were led out while you stayed behind and they put her against your chest to attempt breastfeeding.

Clint and Laura stood watching from the viewing window as you had Tasha tucked in under your shirt.  Laura sent the kids down to the vending machine in an attempt to stop them from getting bored.

“Did I tell you how proud I am of you?”  Laura said putting his arm around Clint’s waist.

Clint put his arm around her shoulder and she tucked herself into his side.  Something she had done a million times before.  “Yeah?”  He said.

“Yeah.  You've really stepped up.  You've always been such a good dad.  This is gonna be no different.”  She said.  “Nat would be proud of you too.”

“I hope so.”  He said, keeping his eyes trained on you.

“When Damien was killed, I didn't think I'd ever fall in love again.  Especially not with another SHIELD agent.  Then Nat pushed you at me, and you were such a huge dork but so good.  Not perfect but good.  You never pushed me faster than I could go.  You were always worried about us getting hurt.  Not just me, but the kids too.  I fell in love with you, and the kids did too in their own way.  When they asked if you'd adopt them you didn't even hesitate when you said yes.”  Laura said, wiping her eyes.

Clint felt his heart stutter a little and guilt start to creep in, guilt for everything that went wrong that meant he was not the man that could hold that together anymore.  His arm tightened around her shoulders.  She patted his stomach reassuringly and looked up at him.  “No one predicted the blip.  It's not your fault we couldn't last it.  I'm really happy you've found love again though.  You deserve it.  It gives me hope too, that I might get it again too.  Things can be found after what happened.”

Clint turned and looked at her, frowning slightly.  “Of course you can.  You're amazing, Laur.  You'll get someone who deserves you.  Someone who will actually be around.”

“I hope so.”  She said and leaned up and kissed him. “Congratulations, Clint.  She's beautiful.  You are going to be really happy”

Clint looked back in at you, and for the first time in a long time, he didn't doubt that at all.

// NEXT

#clint barton #clint barton x reader #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #fluff #angst #pregnancy #legacy

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 8

I’m a little late, but here it is!

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey Monday April 15

The fucker was flipping through his book. The meeting was in fifteen minutes. I don't fucking know why I came early. The Dean's grandson glared at Brandon. He was the only absent at their previous get-together. Could he be the contemptible asshole who had the idea of the bounty ?

"I'm not." said suddenly the idiot.

"What the fuck ?"

"Regarding what you're thinking. I'm not the one who had a price put on the prey." explained Brandon. "You know I'm a devoted follower of D.R... I even helped to foil my roommate Barbara."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey snorted. It didn't mean anything except maybe that he was a smart ass. The fact you're using your brain make you more dangerous than the others.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Stop acting like if you can read my fucking thoughts you moron."

Brandon dared to smile. Jesus he was so annoying.

"I'm sorry. You're usually way more difficult to decipher. But this story seems to bother you."

It's my damn boyfriend we're talking about, stupid ! Yeah except no one knew. The junior remembered his last discussion with Zack. His friend had called him a coward. A coward. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey, the gifted hunter, feared by all, had been called a coward. Zack didn't intend to be mean but ouch. I would feel much better if the cocksucker behind all this was arrested.

"Now that I think about it." mumbled the blond lad. "You are a supposed psychic so you must know something, right ?"

"Yeah. I know I'm innocent." replied the smart aleck.

I swear to god I'll kill him.

"More seriously." he continued when he noticed the Dean's grandson glaring at him. "I got things to tell but we'll have to wait for the others. D.R wants to update them aswell."

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey grunted.

Archie, Theo and Gabriel arrived right on time. As for this arrogant Matthew and the girls, they all came late. On purpose of course. They want to piss me off. Such a flock of donkeys. Finally, when Samy deigned show up, the meeting officially began.

"Why are we here ?" asked Lucy. "Summer didn't say much but I don't have time to lose. Fallen King, I hope this is serious."

Damn. When did you start shitting by the mouth dickhead ? He remained silent only because Brandon had taken his phone out.

"It's me who summoned you." resonated D.R's voice. "Sorry if we are taking your precious time Lucy. Maybe you want to leave and give up all your privilege as a member of this assembly ?"

The idiot bitch shrivelled up on her chair. Pathetic.

"Get to the point." Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey intervened. "Why are we here ?"

"Because, Brandon and I have made some progress regarding the investigation about the pranktser who is defying our authority." she explained. "First of all, I will let you all know that we get to the root of his website. Much to our surprise, he's based in Canada."

"So it's a stranger ?" was surprised Gabriel. "But how does he know about the prey ? Even I didn't hear about him before all this fuss."

Let her speak. I want a name. Going to Canada to kill someone sounded worse than it actually was, right ?

"We are sure he has an accomplice at the university." carried on D.R. "Probably the mastermind behind all this to be honest. Besides, with some skills, it might be possible to manage a website from Canada while being actually here. That's not the only thing we went through. My team caught some hunters who spied on the prey and sold intel at our prankster, who then put them online."

What ?! Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was sure he didn't have enough bullets to shot every little fucker who did that. Damnit ! He had been the most careful he could and still, they escaped his surveillance ? And why D.R didn't told him sooner ?!

"Don't be mad." teased Jolenne. "We just got all the infos you spent month to get in a few days. Poor fallen king."

The Dean's grandson almost lost his calm. He was feeling paranoid and irritated. But he didn't need Zack calling him a brute as well as a coward.

"Unecessary comments are not permitted." said codly D.R. "Until now, what has been revealed to the public are mostly practical intels. The prey's greediness when it come to food is emphasized by many people. Also, there are his supposed sexual preference, his work and college schedule and when it is possible to meet him without Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey around. Even his friends are not safe from this search of information. I hope you realize this is craziness."

"Don't worry, we're chasing him by following your rules." giggled Miranda. "We don't need all this shit to catch him."

"Do you have any idea about the identity of the prankster ?" asked Archie.

"Well, thanks to the hunters we arrested, maybe." the head of the hunter announced, making them all quiet. "Brandon."

"As you may know, since my arrival here, D.R usually resort to me when she wants to question people. Here's what I discovered." the guy revealed. "They all received the money the day following their exchange via transfer. What is interesting is the bank making those transfers... The Mason's Financial."

Silent followed. Everyone looked up at Samy. She was called Samy Mason for a reason after all. The name is common but I know for sure she's the daughter of the actual ceo of Mason's Financial.

"My family's banks has numerous clients." she said, seemingly bored. "And this little information doesn't prove anything."

She's right. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was much more calmer now. And Samy was right. She had the means but that didn't make her guilty. This link wasn't much more than coincidence at this point.

"We'll do further investigation of course." resumed D.R. "Samy, you'll have to pay me a visit at my office very soon. As for the others, you can hunt, you can catch, but always remember there are rules. You have to insure that the others hunters respect them aswell. Is that clear ?"

They all agreed. Of course. But how many of them are cheating behind our back uh ? Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey left the room as soon as the meeting ended. At least he learnt something tonight. Nancy will have some work to do.

The Dean's grandson headed towards his flat quickly. He checked his phone on the way home. One text was from the head of the women defense club. Even outside the get-together, she couldn't let him in peace ? How annoying.

< D.R. : About our other matter, I expect the victim you told me about to pay me a visit soon. >

Of course you do. She was worried. Well he was worried too but he wasn't blowing a fuse about it. Archie seemed fine until now, so what was the problem ? Anyway, he also had a text from his boyfriend.

< The baboon : I'm stuffed !!! uwu >

A picture was attached to it. It was a selfie of Liam from underneath, which drew attention to his belly. His bloated tummy. Well Damian also noticed the tightness of his brief, since it was the only clothes he decided to wear. I hate him so much. Since when is he such a tease ?! At first, these little... provocations looked innocent. A comment about Liam being bottom when stuffed. An invite to touch his butt. The blond lad had thought it wasn't done on purpose. But when the action became repeated, it become obvious that the baboon was way more naughty than he let think. It didn't help that the junior was fantasizing about his boyfriend more and more... He'll be the death of me one day.

Liam Wednesday April 17

The College's library was a dark and secret place Liam had feared since his arrival. Books could harm you kids, no joke. He had yet to find the magical section but he knew it was here, somewhere. Thankfully he was in the history section and not alone. The chestnut lad was looking for a title Nate asked. Apparently, reading helped his bestfriend to distract his mind from any bad thought. I will bring it to him tonight.

"I can't find it anywhere." grumbled Nick. "Are you sure they have it ?"

"Yes." assured Colton. "I checked the website twice already."

It was the fourth time they had this discussion in the last half an hour. Since Nick had decided to follow a diet, he was grumpy most of the time. Probably because the unicorns think it's bad for him. They know more than we do. Colton, as the teddy-bear he was, had the patience to deal with their sullen friend. Liam glimpsed the book they were looking for.

"Found it." he announced. "Let me borrow it and we can go."

The three boys headed towards the exit. And there she was. Of course she would be there : library were suitable for dark ritual so the forces of evil were most likely bound to appear here. The witch was with another girl he didn't recognise right away. Because the lad had friends to protect, he decided to face them. Oh. This is the girl who offered her body to me. So she switched side ? This is bad. He didn't need a demon on top of his problems.

"Hey." smiled the witch when they were close enough.

Liam tried to ignore her and focused on the librarian who was registering his borrowing. Without success apparently.

"I'm Lucy remember ? And this is Miranda. We want to know you three better boys. Do you want a little meeting with us girls outside the university this weekend ?" suggested the pawn of evil. "We can bring a friend along to be even."

Nick pulled a face. Colton smiled prudently. They're falling for her charms... Liam hesitated. On one hand, it was dangerous, and his boyfriend had vigorously asked him to stay away from her. But on the other hand, it was the perfect opportunity to face her once and for all.

"I'm not against it." he eventually replied. "If the others are fine with it too..."

His two friends exchanged perplexed glances. Finally, they agreed and the three boys were free to go.

When they arrived at their place, Liam noticed Dami waiting for him at the entrance. His boyfriend was texting aggressively. He looks angry. More than usual. The others greeted him and went upstair while the chestnut lad smiled. In all honesty, he didn't know what he was doing with Dami. He was well aware their relationship was slowly improving for the better. There was no doubt in his dreamy mind that sex was near. He even had naughty thoughts of Dami while he... had been taking personnal pleasure last time.

"What the hell did you just say ?" asked the junior.

Liam blinked. Did I think out loud ? That would be very embarassing.

"Hum forget it." he muttered. "I've something to tell you."

He related his encounter with the witch and the human sacrifice. He also carefully explained why he wanted to face her. It was important to be clear because Dami was a hero. Hero didn't like when their relatives and friends faced troubles and they had a tendency to take all the blame. Liam knew that, he read it somewhere. But he had a mission from the unicorn.

"I think this is one of your dumbest idea you baboon." declared his boyfriend once he concluded. "The damn horses don't know everything and... Whatever do your thing. I'm not protecting you anyway."

"Thanks you for trusting me." smiled the freshman.

He kissed Dami lenghtily to express his gratefulness. Two hands grabbed his ass and pushed his waist closer. Liam gulped when he felt his crotch react at the gesture. They stayed like this only a few minutes but it was enough to make them both blush awkwardly. It's hot in here right ? (Please unicorns, believe it.) (The magical creatures probably won't like his perveted thoughts tonight...)

"I need to go." whispered Dami. "See you tomorow baboon."

It was almost bedtime when Nate announced he wanted to see a shrink. According to him, it was Dami who suggested the idea.

"He told me she was a professional who could help." he explained. "And Archie sees her too so I guess she knows her job. But I would like you to come with me the first time... Is that ok ?"

"Of course bro." assured Liam.

He could feel the positive energy in the room. His bestfriend was trying. I'll support him the best I can. Nate slipped under his covers, letting only his head visible.

"Say, how did you know you were attracted by men ?"

The chestnut lad made a weird sound. That wasn't a question he had expected at all. They had already talked about that in the past but... He discreetly looked at the unicorns. Were they doing something to Nate ?

"Stop your mental chat with the magical poneys and answer me." ordered Nate.

"Oh sorry... Well I don't really know ?" he said. "As you remember, I was first into chubby girls but well... I don't know it felt nice to be with Kilian. Being in a relationship with another boy is great to me... As long as I love him right ?"

"This doesn't help." grumbled his bestfriend. "I'll try to be more specific : why is Dami attractive to you ? Physically ?"

"He's cute." giggled Liam, remembering their last encounter. "And well, kind of sweet. He's a nice skin. Oh and his eyes are scary, I like that. Why are you asking ?"

"I think I like Archie's hugs." Nate revealed. "But that doesn't mean anything. I'm just touch starved and he feels safe that's it. I'm overthinking little things. Good night."

He covered his head, meaning the conversation was over. And Liam fell asleep the next second. He had unicorns to feed after all.

Nicolas Friday April 19

< Imagenius : Dang ! We lost but that was a close one. >

Nick grunted. Annoying.

< TheSavior : Still a lose. >

< Abeautifulwoman : speaking in terms of statistics, we're in a losing streak. Boss you're the one who made the most mistakes in our last games... While you were the best one week ago. >

Nick ground his teeth. Annoying. They piss me off.

< Abeautifulwoman : Anything on your mind lately ? >

< TheSavior : I 'm on a diet. >

The lad had never expected it to be so hard. How could he focus on his game while all he could nibble was a salad ?! And damnit he missed beer. But I need to lose the weight. Not only four or five pounds, but fifty. Enough to not be disgusting again.

< Imagenius : change of subject but Beauty I think I know who is your bossy friend ! >

< Abeautifulwoman : Are you serious rn ? Just let him be and focus on the bad mood of our boss. >

< Imagenius : He's the most famous hunter in my college right ? The one who has sex with everyone whenever he wants. He's the great son of the Dean that lucky bastard lol >

Wait. What ? Nick re read the text but there was no mistake. A Dean's grandson who sleep around ? The bounty hunt and the very famous prey... Could it be happening here ? It was only his imagination for sure. There could be many great son of a Dean who were also part succubus. (Yes sometimes, Nick fell for Liam's crazy theory.)

< Abeautifulwoman : There is a reason why I'm not talking abut him here and it's called privacy bitch. >

< Imagenius : You're the fake bitch. What if you're working for the Smith Carrey ? I have friends who don't fear him you know ? >

*Abeautifulwoman is offline.*

< Imagenius : such a coward c**t lol >

*Imagenius is offline.*

Now there was no doubt possible.

This evening, Nick arrived at the pool his head full of question. Imagenius was a student here. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey was the best of the hunters. And a mysterious hunt with a bounty interested everyone. Weird. This is so weird. Liam's boyfriend had always been shady but a hunter ? What does that even mean ? Nick caught sight of Colton near the pool. He sighed deeply. Whatever is going on, this is not my business. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey can do whatever he wants as long as he doesn't hurt my roommate. And I don't want to meet Imagenius in real life. Not when the freshman looked like a disgusting fat cow.

"Everything's fine bud ?" asked his friend.

"Yeah sorry. I guess I'm not feeling very confident about tomorrow."

This improvised date with three girls was another thing on his mind. Something I can talk with Colton. This latter smiled. His whole body irradiated a delicate but welcomed warmth. His attitude only was reasurring. And no, Nick didn't believe in magic but this guy had some strong positive vibe.

"This is not even a date." Colton recalled. "I think one of them is interested in Liam, and she asked help from her friends. You don't have to worry : we'll just enjoy the moment."

"Easy to say for you dude. You're handsome and incredibly nice." Nick retorted. "I'm not at the same level."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." assured his friend. "You made me think about my two bestfriends. They both have low self-esteem despite being amazing. I hope they finally realised it."

Nick detected distress in Colton's voice. For the first time, his expression revealed something esle than happiness. He looks almost sad.

"Now that you mention it, I never heard you talk about your past." noted the geek. "I mean, I don't have any friend from highschool since I was only focused on studies and you already know what I think about my annoying family but you... Even Liam's been more open."

Colton smiled but that was as fake as Rebecca's kindness.

"Stuff happenned. When I decided to follow Barbara, the people I cared about didn't take it well." he explained. "Even my sister is still mad. She was right tho, I got dumped in the end."

"And despite that, you're so nice and all ? Dude you really are half teddy-bear aren't you ? In your place, I would never trust anyone again."

They started to warm-up while talking. Liam would arrive later to help with the swimming lesson.

"I hope my friends will forgive me one day." confessed Colton. "Especially these two... But that doesn't mean I will be dejected until then. I'm sure they don't want that from me."

"You're so positive about everything that's kind of impressive." grunted Nick. "I would like to borrow your optimism sometimes.... Is it because some people have it worst ?"

He was thinking about Nate. That was petty of him to complain about his weight when his friend got raped. I'm ridiculous.

"You're getting it wrong." refuted the other. "You've the right to not appreciate your body but it is important that it is you, and not the opinion of the others, who chose that. As for me, I don't complain only because there is nothing I can do for now but hope. So I'm hoping."

Yeah, seems legit. They went into the pool and Nick focused on his swimming. The rest could wait.

To be continued

Dami is hunting the hunters... It’s a big mess. Who to trust uh?

And now Liam’s trying to solve his problem on his own, what a bad idea! But who knows, maybe he’ll manage ;) Big revelations in the online chat of Nick! Now, he has more info than he should...

Some background info on Colton. I’m not sure they’re very useful for now, but still.

#the college society #cs #Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey #Liam #Nick #Nate is struggling but doing better #Each person heals differently #Liam the hero #Dami is mad again #it's a mood #Nick knows secrets #Nancy is that you? #Chapter 4 #Part 8

[becuzpurple]

Father’s Day

(an Ed & Kate one-shot)

21 June 2016

Lucy brushed some dirt and debris from the surface of the stone, clearing it for me to place a half dozen red and white tulips across it.  Nathan staked 3 mini Cubs pennants into the soil at its top.  Then we sat, mostly quietly, surrounded by a sea of trees, flowers, and grave markers.  It was a beautiful first day of summer - the peaceful setting lending itself to quiet contemplation.  It was Father’s Day.

When I was a child, and my parents took us to the cemetery to pay respects to our deceased relatives, we’d clean up the gravestones, plant flowers, and say some prayers.  Since Jason’s passing, though, I’ve found that reciting prayers at his gravesite just doesn’t work for me.  It feels almost forced, as if it’s expected, but it holds no actual meaning for me - they’re just empty words.  I completely understand and respect that others find doing this to be very meaningful and comforting, but it just isn’t for me.  

I talk to him instead.  Sometimes I’ll talk to God, too, but more often I talk to Jason - not out loud, but in my head.  I tell him about our lives - stuff with the kids, our family...and I talk to him about Ed, too. As weird as that sounds, I find it to be therapeutic.  It gives me a way to sorting out my joys and worries, my hopes and fears, all without judgement. Sometimes I can imagine his reply.  

It helps.

On that Father’s Day, I shared a secret with him - a big one, that no one but I knew, yet. That would change soon enough, I supposed.  It was strangely comforting to think that I no longer held the secret entirely alone, even if it wasn’t with anyone currently alive.

“Do you think he can see us?  Or hear us?”  Lucy was pulling random weeds and dandelions from around the stone as she spoke, eyes focused downwards.

I paused before answering her.  It’s something I wonder about, too.

“I don’t really know.  But I like to think so.  You know, sometimes, in my head...I talk to him.”  She did look up at me then, and I grimaced in a self-deprecating way...trying to keep things from getting too heavy.  “Is that weird?”

“No, I do that, too.” 

Nate had been quiet, but was nodding in agreement, as well.

Oh, my babies

“I guess...it’s comforting to think that he might hear us.”

“Yeah…”  Lucy nodded and resumed weeding.  

I glanced at Nate, who watched us curiously, also nodding.

“I think he does,” he added softly.

---

We didn’t stay much longer - cemetery visits tend to be emotionally exhausting for us. From there we met my parents at The Pancake House for a Father’s Day brunch.  Filling up on family and sugary, carby comfort food helped us transition from our melancholy moods.  

My dad is the best.  I’ve literally never met anyone who didn’t love him.  He’s smart and funny, yet on the quiet side.  He’s a hard worker and a devoted family man.  He loves baseball, sci-fi, and giant jigsaw puzzles.  He’d do anything for us.  He really stepped up to be there for the three of us after we lost Jason, and I’m so grateful for that.  There is no better father or grandfather out there, so celebrating his awesomeness (on Father’s Day, fur sure, but at other times of the year, too) has become very important to me.

“When does Ed get back, Kate?”  I have to smile at how my mom’s face lights up at the mention of his name - even when she’s the one saying it.  She loves him, and it’s adorable.

“Today, in a few more hours.”

“Ah, good.  I hope things went well for him out there.”

“Yeah, he said they got a lot done,” I shrugged.  “He sounds pretty happy with everything.”

He’d been away for a week, in southern California, working on the next album. From how he described it, it sounded like they were in an absolutely beautiful setting - a gorgeous chalet in a wooded area, a river nearby, and distant mountains.  He’d been with some of his favorite people in the business - people he considers dear friends - and they seemed to have had an abundantly creative and productive week.  He was really pumped about it.

He’d wanted me to go with him, but my schedule just wouldn’t cooperate. The kids started their summer sports and art camps, I had a few looming deadlines for work that couldn’t wait, and I had a doctor appointment mid-week that I didn’t want to put off.  It’s too bad, too - I would have loved to have witnessed their collaborative songwriting in action.

---

That night after the kids were in bed, we’d finally caught each other up on everything - his stories of the last week were much more interesting than the mundane details of my suburban mom life, but, lovely man that he is, he wanted all of them, anyway.  Ed genuinely loves things like that - anything involving family.  Which is a good thing, considering what I was about to drop on him.

“So, I have something for you, but I left it in the bedroom.”  I stood and wagged a finger at him, grinning at his curious, wrinkled brow.  “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

I left him there on the family room couch while I jogged to our room to grab the small, gift-wrapped box I’d been keeping hidden away.

Without a doubt I was dying to finally tell him, but at the same time I almost felt a little sad that it would no longer be my secret.  I laughed to myself at the idea of being possessive of it.  But I’d had a whole week for that - it was time to spill the beans, and giving him the little gift was how I planned to do that.

As soon as I re-entered the room Ed’s eyes zeroed in on the small, prettily-wrapped box in my hand.  Before I even reached the sofa I could see that he was starting to look a little freaked out.  Maybe he had an idea of what this was about.  He knew what day it was, and there I was with a gift for him - it wasn’t a difficult jump to make.  But I know him well enough to see that he was trying not to psych himself up, in case he was wrong.

But he wasn’t wrong.

I re-joined him on the sofa, mirroring his pose by sitting with one leg tucked under the other, our knees touching.

“What-what’s this, then?”  He tried to appear calm and casual, but between the stutter and the wide eyes, it was clear that he was not feeling calm.

My plan had been to not give anything away before he opened the gift, but that all went to pot because I was way too close to falling into a fit of nervous giggles. This was more than obvious to Ed, who was eying me dubiously, waiting for me to say something.

“Umm, this is for you.”  I gave him the neatly wrapped present, about the same size as a watch box.  But there wasn’t a watch inside, nor any other jewelry.

He held it in his hand, just staring at it, eyes wide.  He glanced at me a few times, finally asking, “What is it?”

He was nervous, watching me with barely reined-in wide-eyed excitement.

A few giggles finally spilled loose from me, and I couldn’t stop smiling - I was just as anxious as he was.  Attempting to calm the both of us, I placed my palms flat on his lap, just above his knees, tapping my fingers before murmuring, “Ed.  Open it.”

He took a calming breath and looked down at the box in his hands, again.  Smiling to himself, he began pulling off the ribbon.

“I - I might know what this is about...maybe?  But I also have no idea what’s actually in here.”

“That’s...probably completely accurate.”

“Jesus…”

“Open it.”

“Yeah.” He wore the cutest little grin, and kept shooting small glances at me as he carefully unwrapped the paper from the box.  How he wasn’t tearing it apart I’ll never know.  Maybe he wanted to savor the feeling of anticipation.  Maybe he was a little scared, too.  I know I was.

He removed all of the paper and turned to me with a look of pure bewilderment, holding the unopened box.

“I - I’m nervous to open it...fuck’s wrong with me?”

I gently shook my head, unable to stop grinning. “Nah, you got this.”  I gave his leg a little squeeze, as my hand still rested on it.  “Please open it, though, because I can’t take this much longer.”

He laughed, and then finally opened the lid.  He just stared for a few seconds - no response whatsoever.  I’m not even sure he remembered to breathe.  He blinked several times, and then he smiled - a slow-growing, tentative expression of stunned wonder.

“It’s a pick.”  His eyes lifted to meet mine, his voice barely more than a whisper.

I nodded.

“A ba- we’re gonna...you’re pregnant?” His voice broke on the last word.

I nodded again, my heart pounding with nerves.

“Bloody hell, I knocked you up?!”  He found his voice again, and his accent was much more pronounced than usual.  He looked at me in complete astonishment.

I hiccup-cry-laughed all at once.  “Yeah, you did!”

He glanced down again at the custom-designed guitar pick I got for him while he was away.  “January...”

“My due date is January 12th.”

“January the 12th.  Holy shit, this is for real...”

“This is real, Teddy.”  We shared a tender look at my use of the phrase he’d once used to reassure me when we first started dating.  “We’re going to have a baby.”

We’re gonna have a baby.” He repeated the words slowly, trying them out for the very first time, himself.  “I…I’m going to be a dad.”

There was a sweet shyness in the way he said it, a self-consciousness in saying the words out loud - I’m going to be a dad.

Nodding again, I cupped his jaw in my hand, bringing his earnest, deep blues back to me. “You’re going to be an amazing dad.”

He was quiet, eyes still on mine, listening.

“Your parents did good raising you and Matthew, right?”

“They are literally the best parents, yeah.”

“You’ve been learning your whole life from the best, then.  And I’ve seen you with kids - my kids, your godchildren...Ed, you were meant for this.”

His tentative smile grew, his eyes lit up, and soon his entire body was practically humming with hyper energy.  It must have been contagious, as I was nearly vibrating with giddiness, myself.  I’m sure we looked completely ridiculous beaming at each other like that. Or just deliriously happy.

He tilted his head to the side, eyes on me curiously and gave the sweetest, closed-mouth smile.  “You’re happy Kate?”

“Oh, yeah!  I - well, I’m feeling a lot things right now, but ‘happy’ is definitely at the top of the list.”

My thoughts had been going in so many different directions over the last few days - I was absolutely over-the-moon.  I never thought I’d have any more children, and I was thrilled to get this chance - and with Ed!  It made my heart feel whole and complete.  

But I’d be lying if I said I had no worries.  I’m older now, and that brings more risks to a pregnancy.  Also, there was the fact that Ed and I aren’t married - we’d only been together for six months at that point.  I didn’t know if that would be an issue or not, but I knew it was something we should probably talk about. I also worried that he might not be thrilled with the timing of the pregnancy, relative to his career.

“Me, too!  It’s crazy, right?  I can’t even keep up with everything going through my head right now.”  He huffed out a breath, surely still trying to wrap his head around the news.

“I know.  I mean, the timing isn’t great, like with your work, and-”

“-Oh, no, no,” he interrupted.  “this is everything, and it-it’s perfect.  Like, work is well and good, but this?  Family?  Is what we’re all really here for, right?  To love, and to teach our children to love.  I feel like I’m finally about to really start my life, now - the most important part of it, and I get to do it with you?  I'm - I’m so fucking in love with you, and I'm just...really chuffed right now...”

His voice caught as it trailed off.  He took off his glasses, wiped at his eyes and cleared his throat, and that’s when I started to lose it a little bit, too.

“Baby, stop.”  I sniffled as I shifted closer against him.  He pulled me in even more so that my legs were across his lap, his arms secure around my waist.  

I don’t know how he does it - he has a knack for saying the very thing I need to hear, and even better - he means it every time.  I sent a quick word of thanks to the universe, or maybe it was God (I’m not entirely sure there’s a difference), for somehow bringing us together.  “How’d I get so lucky?”

He pulled back just enough to see my face and wipe a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb.  “I ask myself that same question every single day, sweet girl.”

“I love you, Ed.”

“I know,” he answered, grinning cheekily.

I couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed.  I adore him and I’m happy to say it for the rest of my life.  But there was something else I wanted to say, too.  

“Oh, and one more thing…” I grinned.

“What’s that, love?”

Happy Father’s Day.”

---

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#becausepurple #becuzpurple #ed sheeran #ed sheeran fic #ed sheeran fan fic #ed sheeran fanfiction #ed sheeran fluff #one shot #Ed & Kate #Ed & Kate love story #Happy Father's Day #why do I hurt myself like this?

[shmende]

Growing Out Of It: Pt. 2 - The Unknown (Shawn Mendes)

In which old school friends reunite yet again and talk about their feelings - former (or maybe not so former, after all?)

Warnings: none, again. Just still very, very slow-burnish. Hope you stick with me through it all. Thanks for reading and thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged the last part!

4.5k words

I’m also painfully aware that John Mayer did not participate in writing WWYITM, but it fit into the storyline. So let’s just go with it. Hope you enjoy!

https://shmende.tumblr.com/post/181690998981/growing-out-of-it-pt-1-the-unexpected-shawn

_____________

The following week, I went shopping with Ivy.

“That dress looks great on you. Eric will flip,” I assured her, lounging on the bean bags at Urban Outfitters’ dressing rooms. We’d been here for an hour now, looking for the perfect outfit to win Ivy’s ex back over, or at least make him see what he’s missing out on, or something; I really didn’t know anymore. Ivy looked enviably great in every outfit (hours in the gym will do that to you, apparently) but she wasn’t satisfied yet. 

“You know what, Lace? You should get a new outfit too. You’ve been moping after Nate for too long now, it’s time to get back out there.”

Oh. If only she knew I hadn’t been occupied with Nate in the slightest, or at least not as much as before. Although I did call him that night when I didn’t dare text Shawn and yeah, alright, I felt bad about it. (It also hadn’t helped that Shawn actually followed me on Instagram last Thursday.) And I was rapidly starting to grow tired of this cluelessness. Why on earth had he been so persistent about getting my number if he wasn’t going to text anyways?

“You’re right, Ivy,” I stated suddenly, stoically, and opened my purse. My friend behind the curtain squealed in happiness, going on a monologue about how we were going to go clubbing on Saturday, get her Eric back and find me a guy and, “Let the double dates ensue.” 

I definitely didn’t want some guy to take up Nate’s place in our quartet yet, but I stopped myself from finishing that thought and unlocked my phone. Maybe it was time to finally get some answers. I typed,

Hi, Shawn. This is Lacey Windsor. Teddy gave me your number, hope it’s not a problem. Anyways, I was wondering, since we didn’t really get to catch up that day, would you possibly want to grab a coffee with me some time? Happy to hear from you, Lace :)

I pressed send before I could change my mind and watched the message go from delivering to delivered to read in the space of five minutes. I stared and stared and stared until the typing sign came, then jerkily locked my phone like his reply could sting me.

As Ivy pulled the curtain to the side, dressed in her own clothes again, my heart was still beating way too fast.

“I’m taking that last dress. Now, we’re gonna look for you.”

And look we did. Ivy at the clothes, me at my phone. I was checking it incessantly, fiddling with my fingers whenever I didn’t have it at my beck and call. Pun intended. I tried on a few short dresses that weren’t December-in-Toronto-appropriate at all, but I didn’t really care that much anyways. 

With every minute that passed I realized he’d leave me on read. He’d really, after sitting next to me for almost all of High School, kissing me back on our last day and then asking Teddy for my number two years later, leave me on read.

I spent 60 dollars on a red body con dress out of anger. Nothing better than a short dose of impulse-buying to cure (boy-related) problems. Ivy noticed my unusual silence when we were on the Metro and I wordlessly handed her my phone, which had been unlocked and on Shawn’s chat for about an hour now. 

“Oh my god, why the hell are you pissed? He sent the nicest response!”

I perked up. “What? When?”

“Look!” Ivy handed it back with a big grin on her face. I didn’t even take note of that, too focused on the grey message box beneath my blue one. Five minutes ago. My heart pounded in my ears.

Hi, Lacey! So good to hear from you! I was actually pretty disappointed when we didn’t get to finish talking last Sunday and I would love to grab a coffee with you, but this time without Teddy maybe? I’ll be back in Toronto on Friday, are you free around five-ish?

“I didn’t even know you saw him again, Lacey! Not to mention that you wanted to meet up with him! What’s with the change of mind?”

I looked up from my phone and locked eyes with Ivy. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t talk, didn’t want to talk, I was just happy. Fully back in time when I was almost 17 and Shawn had put his hand on my thigh after telling a joke and I’d had to conceal my blush by coughing obnoxiously loud. I grinned idiotically.

Ivy’s eyes narrowed. “You have a lot to tell, missy.”

The rest of the week was spent panicking. I worked on Wednesday, actually calling Teddy to ask if she could make it before six, before the dinner business started and she rucked up at four in a big coat and fur boots. Fake, of course. 

I had anticipated asking her about every single thing she knew about Shawn, everything he’d told her about his career, his inspirations, his muse. Was there a girl in his life? Was this more than a friendly catch-up between former classmates? Was this a date?

But then, when she sat in front of me, I couldn’t ask any of that. I needed to know from him. I needed to know if he also hadn’t been able to get that kiss out of his mind. Or the possibility of it happening again and again and again.

Teddy told me I was turning crazy. And she was probably right, so I did the only thing I could think of. I sat in my tiny room and looked out the window, sipping on some white wine and contemplating which building Shawn lived in. It had to be one of those skyscrapers from downtown, where else would a super star set camp?

On Thursday, I invited Ivy over after work to cook some dinner and finally start on our bioinformatics project. The things applying to Teddy also applied to Ivy. She knew a lot about Shawn’s life beyond the surface. They’d known each other ever since middle school, way longer than we had and they’d been through thin and thick. Now, with him travelling the world, the contact had obviously lightened but he still made an effort to see her whenever he was in Toronto. And apparently, that wasn’t the only thing he’d been making sure.

“You know, Shawn’s a nice guy. Don’t ruin it with him.”

I stopped stirring the sauce to take a surprised look at Ivy. “Sorry?” She looked up from the bio text book we’d gotten from the library and pursed her lips.

“That’s actually quite far from what I’m trying to do.”

Suddenly, she waved her hand dismissively and dropped her gaze back to the book. “Yeah, you’re right. Just…forget I said something. I shouldn’t’ve.”

“No, wait.” I continued stirring. “Are you referring to the kiss? Because he agreed that it was a mistake.”

Silence. I tested the spaghetti, then I stirred. Again. “Ivy.”

“No, it’s just...ugh, he’s gonna kill me.” She squirmed in her seat and a lump rose in my throat. What had he said to her?

I stared at her with wide eyes. Expectation. Anticipation. Whatever. “Ivy, tell me.”

“He’s...He- well, he asked me about your relationship status yesterday.”

It felt like being punched in the gut. A good punch, though. Like things were falling into place, but not in the way I’d expected them to. Not two years later and not because of a dumb booty-call my favourite customer-slash-friend had planned. I couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if, all that time ago, I hadn’t declared the kiss a mistake before Shawn had gotten a chance to put his cents in.

“And what did you say?” I tried acting nonchalant, but my unsteady voice betrayed me. Ivy’s eyes were unreadable and I resorted to stirring the sauce again.

“I said you were fresh out of a break-up.”

“What? It’s been three months! It’s not that fresh.”

“You called Nate twice last week.” I glared at Ivy. She shrugged. “I’m just saying, don’t screw it up, Lacey. He doesn’t deserve half-assery.”

I felt offended, but didn’t find it in me to disagree or defend myself. Because Ivy was right. He had enough on his plate as it was and I shouldn’t mess with his head. Not that I had particularly intended to, but I did have a kiss somewhat planned, just because I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. Even if it was only for closure. And I shouldn’t do that if Shawn was out there asking Ivy about my relationship status while I was talking to my ex on a regular basis. No matter how infatuated I thought I was with him. Or used to be, really. 

It occurred to me then that I didn’t even know if he was anything like he used to be in school. I didn’t even know if he was still late for a lot of things (like English lit class), still liked to sneak sugary foods everywhere he went, or managed to light up a room simply by entering. There was so much knowledge to be had that I realized I didn’t even know him at all these days. And how could I like someone I didn’t know?

_________________

On Friday, Shawn and I were supposed to meet at LLV at five thirty and then walk to Mildred’s for dinner. It had felt a lot like a date when we were texting and so I’d decided to go for it, at least outfit-wise. We were both on time - one of the things that had definitely changed about him - and he’d made sure to compliment my dress as soon as he stepped out of his car. 

Another change. He drove a Jeep now. 

He was also a lot taller than I remembered. 

“I’m really glad you could make it today, Lace. I’m actually going away on a small tour next week.”

We got stopped two times by fans who asked for a photo and dished out the concerts they’d be attending on said tour. He took his time but also respectfully told them he was catching up with an old friend and they let him be then. It was unexpectedly relaxed. 

“So, how is it, life as a celeb? Do you feel any different?” I asked when we sat down at a table in Mildred’s, far in the back and secluded. I had a feeling he’d asked for this table specifically. 

He shrugged. “Not really. I’m still the clueless dude from algebra.”

I nodded and focused on the menu. When I lifted my eyes back up he was already looking at me, his menu discarded on the table. I felt tingly. Seeing him again did some questionable things to me. As did that white shirt of his.

His style had improved a lot since school. And those curls...

I cleared my throat; better not drift into old patterns. Ivy had been right to punch some sense into me yesterday. Looking back at the menu, I continued my questionnaire.

“And apart from academic skills? I’m sure you must’ve experienced a shitload of crazy things these last two years.”

He leaned back in his seat, thinking. “John Mayer gave me a guitar. That was pretty cool.” And once we’d mentioned his favourite idol, he was unstoppable, telling me about the times he’d met him and who else he was friendly with in the industry (I wanted to scream when he said Niall Horan because One Direction), before he dove into how John had come down to Jamaica to write a song with him and how they’d both gotten to perform it during a concert. 

Now, I hadn’t actually listened to any songs from his new album. I was familiar with In My Blood and a few others (Youth because I was a Khalid stan) but I’d pretty much ignored its existence up until the moment I heard him talk about it in person; still amazed at his drive. One thing I hoped would never change about him was the passion. He gave his all, all the time and I found myself wishing I’d bothered to look up his new songs. Especially to know what he wrote about with John Mayer, because, you know, John fucking Mayer wrote a song with him? When I was about to ask him, he changed the topic. 

“Anyways, enough about me. How’ve you been? Ivy mentioned you got into U of T?”

“Yeah, biochemistry,” was all I could muster up to say, because I was still intrigued by his stories while mine was just this: Biochemistry. The science of bodies. Emotions and feelings translated into chemical reactions, rationalized and disfigured. Right now, for example, my brain was flooded with phenyl ethylamine. My nerve cells were buzzing when I looked into Shawn’s brown eyes and I was truly, truly concerned about the fact that his eyes could still cause such a release of dopamine in my body. 

I was whipped. Had this been a good idea?

“Awesome fact: Did you know that men like more open-mouthed kisses because their saliva transfers testosterone into the woman’s body and triggers her sex drive?”

Shawn’s mouth fell open. He blinked. “I - uh. I did not. Know that.” He cleared his throat. 

My face got hot. “I- yeah, I read about a study last week. Pretty interesting actually.”

Gratefulness struck deep when the waiter came to bring our food right then. I dug into my pasta and Shawn, still the breakfast for dinner kinda guy, got to work on his pancakes. I told him a bit more about life as uni student, especially the being broke aspect and the sleepless nights when living with roommates. He didn’t have a roommate but he definitely related to the long nights spent worrying about life. 

He really wasn’t that different from the way he used to be. Stardom hadn’t changed him. Sure, it had broadened his views, his opportunities - he had seen and done a lot of things I wasn’t even capable of dreaming about - but he’d stayed grounded. Inspired, enlightened, not once condescending.

Two hours into our meal and when we were long done with eating, but had kept ordering drink after drink (I wasn’t sure how I was going to afford it all, but the time with him was all worth it) Shawn addressed the elephant in the room, looking at me over the rim of his glass.

“You never told me you were with someone. Actually, you never told me anything after...you know,” he paused, searching for the right words. “After we graduated.”

I offered an uncommitted shrug. “I tagged you in the post I made on my old Instagram.”

He raised his brows. A wry smile. I pursed my lips, loosening the air that was filling up in my lungs. Too tight.

He sighed and leaned forwards. “Look, I wanted to apologize about the thing Teddy said at your work. Ivy told me you’re fresh out of a relationship and I just want you to know that I respect that. And I’m sorry.”

I nodded slowly, looking down and fiddling with my straw. “Yeah, thanks. It’s not as fresh as she makes it sound to be honest, and I know I kind of overreacted back then.” I raised my head and met Shawn’s gaze. “I’m not repulsed by you, just so you know. I was a bit - thrown off the rails, if you will.”

The smallest of smiles lingered on his lips and it seemed like hard work to keep it there. He looked away. There was so much left unsaid between us that it twisted my insides. Had he liked me back in school? Had he returned the kiss all that time ago because he’d been wanting it for just as long as I had or had it been a casual one-time thing? What was it like right now? Did he spend his nights sleepless because he wasn’t just worrying about life but also because he was with someone?

I tried to gauge Shawn’s silent stare but I was left clueless. So I jumped. 

“You were my first kiss, you know.”

My voice was thick with emotion. Norepinephrine, my favourite neurotransmitter was doing its thing; anxiety crept down my spine, my blood pressure rose, heart beat frantically. And Shawn was still fucking mute. 

I looked at my glass. Swallowed. “I liked you so much back in school.”

The tension was impenetrable for what felt like a long while, until he finally said, “I had no idea, Lace,” with a strain in his voice. He set his glass down and leaned on the table with his forearms, shoulders square and tense and intimidating.

“Just one question: Why’d you call it a mistake then? The kiss?”

I shrugged half-heartedly, not meeting his eyes. “I was scared. And I wasn’t about to hand you my heart just so you could take it away with you to wherever that world tour of yours - that career - was going to take you.” I crossed my arms, leaning on the table too and looking at him again. “Plus, I didn’t even know if you liked me back.”

He hesitated, his gaze dropping to my lips (which had my heart beat out of rhythm for a moment or two) before locking eyes and finally saying something, calm and firm. “But that’s the thing, Lace. I did. I liked you a lot.” 

Then he grinned.

And there was something so warm about him that I felt flushed, utterly overheated and embarrassed and most of all, stupid. “Oh.” I replied, staring into his all-too familiar face that suddenly didn’t seem any different than it had two years ago and wondered how I had managed to waste so much time just because I’d been afraid. Afraid of being rejected, being forgotten while he was away and mostly, afraid of letting myself fall. 

He loosed a breath. “Yeah. Oh.” Then he took a sip of his water and tilted his head with a smile, lessening the unbearable tension. The atmosphere was somewhere between open doors and wasted opportunity.

No. 

I hadn’t wasted my time, I’d been in a perfectly happy relationship and I didn’t regret it. But it was over and I was excited about the future now, even more so than usual, and I started grinning involuntarily at this evening’s developments. The one question I had on my mind, the question I’d been asking myself all week and all day, every time he’d complimented me on my dress, my hair, my smile, my “nerdy” biochemistry knowledge (uh, thanks) and my arguably weird talent of curling spaghetti on my fork like I was born Italian: Was there any chance that Shawn Mendes still liked me?

Maybe just the way that I still found myself liking him?

“Sooo,” I started, straightening in my seat to get some answers, not really excelling at the Teddy-Geiger-drawl, but instead at her typical look of mischief while Shawn stared, just as apprehensive. “Since you know my relationship status and because of equality purposes and because I deleted my Facebook years ago and can’t exactly check your profile anymore, I was wondering if –“

His lips curled knowingly and, eyes glinting with relief that this was what I had on my mind, he quickly cut in, “I’m not with anyone,” with a quip in his voice and I could barely contain a squeal from building in my throat. Playing it cool - obviously - I rested my chin on the palm of my hand and nodded, trying to conceal my grin. “Uh-huh, okay. So, that’s - that’s good to know, I guess.”

And then I erupted in a panicked laugh because my stomach was going crazy just from looking at him and I badly, desperately, needed him to stop looking at me the way he was too. Suggestion, possibility, opportunity. It was all there.

Suddenly, I was glad that Teddy had tried to set us up. 

“You know what, Shawn? We should totally get out of here.”

And so we grabbed our coats, fought for the bill for a moment like a couple from a stupid (but actually great) romance movie until he took off running to the bar to pay for everything, leaving me alone with an idiotically opened mouth. He patted my shoulder when he came back (which was truly romantic) and laughed at my sheepishness. Of course he’d try to pay after I’d joked about the state of my finances multiple times. I made a mental note to get him a little something, maybe a nice textbook about the chemistry of love, just so that he could read up on the things that he was doing to me right now.

It was freezing outside and the both of us kept our hands inside our respective pockets, not wanting to encourage anything, even though I liked to suspect that his mind was spinning just as much as mine. When he stopped at my apartment building, admittedly after I’d given him very low-quality directions and we’d had to turn around twice, I felt like I’d travelled back in time. I jumped out of his Jeep as fast as possible, physically restricting myself from reaching over the console and grabbing his face. Instead, I put my arm on the open door and looked back inside. 

“So, for future reference, right? When exactly are you leaving for tour and how long will you be gone?”

His eyes squinted like he’d stubbed a toe. I smiled half-heartedly, trying to make it better. I’d been the one to let him go the last time without so much as a goodbye and I wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. 

“I’m leaving on Wednesday. And I’ll be back for Christmas before I’m gone again.”

Christmas. That was three weeks. It seemed doable. 

I nodded, smiling for real this time, and tapped on the top of the car door. “Okay, rockstar. I’ll see you soon.”

Then I turned around and walked away, hoping that soon would come quicker than Christmas.

________________

Ivy called me on Saturday morning, asking how the “date” had gone, if we were all set and clear and friendly now, which, yeah, I definitely hoped so, and if it’d be okay if Shawn joined us tonight, since he’d been wanting to hang out with her all week.

Right, clubbing with Shawn. No biggie. Absolutely not.

Soon had come a lot earlier than Christmas.

The shower ran for hours, as did the iron. That red body con dress needed to be spotless. I had actually contemplated not wearing it at all now that I knew Shawn would come, but Ivy had convinced me to “not give a fuck” and “just enjoy myself”.

“He’s not gonna look shabby, either.” She’d said matter-of-factly and really, I couldn’t disagree. He never looked shabby. Especially now that he had a stylist and all.

So I sucked it up, put my hair in a half-up, squeezed into the dress and put on some extra red lipstick to match it.

At ten thirty, I sat on Ivy’s couch, a glass of wine in hand and wrapped in a fuzzy blanket when the doorbell rang. Ivy got up, leaving me with her roommate Tess and Tess’ boyfriend Ethan. We were meeting the rest at the party.

U of T’s department of biochemistry had rented out the Everleigh to celebrate the faculty’s 110th anniversary, which meant that every single one of my fellow uni students would be there. Already was, actually. Ivy and I had decided to skip the first few hours and only join when the party was in full flow and then later see where the night took us. The Same and Uniun were both only two of the viable options.

Shawn and Ivy took ages to come to the living room and I couldn’t listen to Tess and Ethan making out anymore. The two had already indulged massively in their cups of vodka. I wriggled out of the blanket and creeped out of the living room and there he was, standing in the kitchen and pouring himself a glass of something, probably vodka (that had been his favourite in school) and wearing a white shirt as if he knew how much I liked it on him. Just like those black skinny jeans.

Ivy spotted me first, slurring, “Good that you’re here. You need a drink!”

“And you should lay off the drinks, babe,” I laughed and met eyes with Shawn, ignoring Ivy’s scoff.

“Hi,” I said, taking a step closer to hug him. He let go of me shortly after and I was glad for it. (The physical contact was suffocating.) “Hi yourself. You look…incredible.”

I grinned, “Thanks, man. Looking good yourself,” and fist-bumped his shoulder. Ugh.

His eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. We hadn’t exactly talked about what was going to happen after yesterday’s revelations and how we’d act around each other. Sure, we’d basically admitted to liking – having liked – each other, we’d made sure the other was single, but what now? Were we acquaintances since we technically hadn’t seen each other in two years? Were we friends? Were we on the brink of something more than friends?

I clicked my tongue, discarding all the questions. Probably not the best move, but definitely the easiest. Shrugging, I said, “Anyways, there’s a couple making out in the living room. We should probably stay here.”

Ivy’s phone rang and she exited the kitchen with a mumbled, “Hi, Eric.”

Shawn raised his brows, probably knowing all about their recent crisis. “How often have they broken up now?”

“Don’t know. Three times, maybe?” I shrugged, noticing his brusque tone and turning to make myself a drink. “I guess some relationships just aren’t that easy. And some definitely have more drama than others. Cheers to that?”

We talked about uni then, the faculty, how I’d even gotten into biochemistry (limited math skills required, mostly) and how much of a coincidence it was that Ivy had decided to go for the same program. I told him that I’d listened to his new album for the first time last night (cue a shriek of offense from the man himself) and how much I’d liked it. I had even bothered to look up which song he wrote with John Mayer and I’d been outright shocked that it was Where Were You In The Morning. Actually, that whole song had caused me sit on the edge of my bed with a dropped jaw.

Shawn was not innocent.

After my fourth shot, I became daring. “You know, I just keep wondering why she left if she apparently had that much of a good time with you,” I said, raising my shoulders slightly (and mockingly). It was an honest concern of mine.

Shawn leaned forward, eyes narrowed and challenging. “Thin ice, Lacey.” Then he took a gulp of his drink, throwing his head back afterwards and grimaced. Pure vodka.

“Don’t make me show you.”

____________

Thanks again for reading, liking and reblogging! xx

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[neighbours-kid]

Dammit, Dean Devlin.

Once upon a time, there was this little show called Leverage.

It first aired in 2008. It had 5 seasons, 77 episodes, 5 main characters.

I was probably fifteen when I first laid eyes on this little show. I was at my dad's, it was some time after dinner, we were watching TV. And there it was, that first episode. We watched it, it was fun.

Over the course of a couple of years, I kept catching that episode on TV. But only the first one. Never more than that.

I forgot about it and was surprised every time I saw the episode. And I kept thinking, I wanna check this out, this looks like fun.

I think either shortly before the last season aired in 2012, or shortly after, I finally remembered the show well enough to go, okay, let's watch this. I have not been the same person since.

This little show called Leverage is without a doubt the best show I have ever seen in my life, and it is to this day still the only thing that has never disappointed me once. I loved Chuck, but it was not perfect. I had issues with it. I love the Marvel Netflix stuff, I think it's fun. But it's not perfect. I adore NCIS and The Mentalist. Are they perfect? Nope.

But I cannot find one single flaw about Leverage. I love it with all my heart and I would not change one single thing. Well, maybe I would've not cancelled it after five seasons. But even with that....it rounds off so perfectly. The last season, the finale, it is so fucking perfect.

One of the things that made Leverage so perfect, were the absolutely fantastic main characters and the development they had over those five seasons. I feel like I could write endlessly about the character development in this show. It's so marvellous and so well done.

You have Nate Ford, the "leader" of the group, this little family. The ex-insurance fraud detective, so broken, so flawed, such a wonderful jerk. He makes sure that the plans work, he is the mastermind behind their cons, their grifts, their thefts. He is the puppet master. Ah, I adooooore him. His alcoholism and control issues were never glamorised, it wasn't sugarcoated, and he was not vilified for it. He grew so much in those five seasons, he changed a lot, and yet he never betrayed his own character. Tim Hutton just smashes this role. I really, truly adore him.

You have Sophie Devereaux, femme fatale, grifter extraordinaire, a character so diverse, so beautifully portrayed by Gina Bellman, from episode to episode different, and yet still only one very complex and wonderfully crafted character. While Nate is the one who makes sure that the plan works, Sophie is the one to make sure that everyone gets out of it alive, unharmed, safe. She is the caretaker. To watch a grifter struggle with identity issues is such a great thing. Watching Sophie finding herself, finding her own dreams and ambitions, finding her calling over those five seasons, was such a treat.

That's the "parents". Then you have the "kids".

Alec Hardison, a motherfuckin' ray of sunshine. Hardison is the nerd, the geek, master of computers, the best hacker on earth, and just an all around joy. Only 22 when they started filming, Aldis Hodge is so fucking young but he plays him like a master. Aldis absolutely acts the shit out of that character. Hardison is such a sweetheart. On my first round through the show, he was definitely my favorite character, I identified with him so much. He was handsome, he was elegant, he had style, he was such a beautifully crafter character, and he still was the nerd and he is still black. You don't usually get that. Hardison is so incredibly kind and loving and all he wants is for his little family of criminals to feel good, to be safe, to feel loved. He gives them a home wherever they go. Aldis Hodge fucking rocked this role and I can't do anything but applaud him.

Then you have Parker, the all around misfit. Usually, in every other show, her character would be dismissed as either the "beauty" just there for the male gaze, or the weirdo who is the butt of every joke. But not with Leverage. Just like the other characters, she is wonderfully portrayed by Beth Riesgraf, has so many interesting layers and we learn so much about her over those five seasons. Parker is the world's greatest thief, she likes money for money's sake, she experienced a lot of bad things, was hurt in so many ways, and came out of it anyway. She found her own family, the people who did not dismiss her as a freak, an outcast, but embraced her being different, maybe a little weird, and loved her anyway. The relationships she builds with the other characters are so very different from each other, so well thought out, so wonderfully done. And what Leverage does so masterfully is that it does not pit Sophie and Parker against each other. It gives you a beautiful friendship between those two women, who could not be different from each other. There is so much love, respect and understanding between those characters. It's so refreshing to see. Have I mentioned how much I love this show already? I fucking love this show.

And then you have Eliot Spencer. Oh, I could cry buckets just thinking about him. I have never in my life seen such beautiful character development. What they did with Eliot over those five seasons is an absolute masterpiece of writing. Eliot -- the hitter, the fighter, the stone cold cowboy, whose fists say more than his mouth -- that guy changes so much. But not just that, he's not just the fighter. He's the "beau" mostly, and not Sophie. And he is incredibly passionate about cooking. You have this knife-wielding, punch-throwing, fucking badass, and he loves cooking. There is so much history revealed over the course of the show and he learns so. fucking. much. He goes from "You all annoy me and I'm just here for revenge and money" to "I will protect these people from this unjust world with my life and I would take on dragons and mountain trolls if it meant that they are safe and protected". Christian Kane is such a wonderful actor and he gives this character an immense amount of depth and he has more than three dimensions. Eliot is a masterpiece. And I love him to pieces. I could write ESSAYS about him. Long, wordy, essays.

You have this beautiful little family of thieves, of criminals, con-men, flawed, hurt, wonderful people. Incredibly gorgeously crafted characters, played so magnificently by all these great, amazing actors.

Leverage has rocked my world and sparked so many different interests in me. I would be a completely different person without it. I have no idea how many times I have watched it through. I spent at least half a year just going through it over and over and over again. As soon as I watched the finale, I put the first season on again, no stops, no pauses. It never got boring, I kept seeing new things, kept making connections between certain things. This show brought me so much joy. I love it with all my heart.

What Dean Devlin and John Rogers created is a show that makes me feel at home, that makes my heart swell with love, that was just absolutely fucking perfect. And still, it got cancelled and the last season ended in 2012.

Two years later, a NATO counter terrorism agent is in the middle of taking down terrorist and stopping a bomb from exploding, when suddenly an arrogant, brilliant, kind of dashing guy shows up, talks about ancient artefacts and curses and mythologies, and helps the agent stopping the bomb.

And with that, The Librarians is born. Or better yet, reborn into a tv show. By whom? None other than John Rogers and Dean Devlin.

What is it? Well, it's a little show that just finished it's fourth season. It's a show about a team of people who would've never found together if they had not been thrown into this adventure. They could not be different.

You have Flynn Carsen, a kind of arrogant, incredibly brilliant and well-versed guy, who is kind of dashing, has a tendency to go off and do things by himself, and is, more or less, the "leader" of the group.

You have Eve Baird, ex-NATO agent, the actual leader of the group, the protector, who sees to it that everyone gets out of the adventures alive. She is the guardian. Eve is a strong, independent woman who don't need no man, but chooses to have one anyway, because that self-destructive, arrogant idiot is so very intriguing, and he genuinely cares about her.

You have Ezekiel Jones, a Korean-Australian, nerd, computer genius, thief and, deep down, a sweetheart. He is more arrogant than anyone, he loves nothing more than himself, and saying his name, but he does have a heart. A big one. And he loves his new-found family.

You have Cassandra Killian, a quirky, pretty, absolutely brilliant young lady, who does not always fit in. She gets excited about things at the wrong time, she is overly hyperactive at times, but so so loyal, and caring, and loving.

And then you have Jacob Stone. The fighter. The brawler. The country kid from Oklahoma. The one you look at and think, that guy has skin like stone, nothing can hurt him, and he has no soft side. You have this tough ass bitch of a guy.... and he is soooooooo passionate about art, about architecture, about literature, about poetry. He quotes some author in every episode. He gets excited about museums and buildings and old symbols and engravings. And he cares so much about these people he only just met, he will protect them with everything he's got. A big teddy bear, a softie.

(Then you also have Jenkins who is just absolutely fantastic and I adore him and I could go on for ages about him but words could not make him justice, so I'm not trying. Also, he is kinda not relevant for my point.)

Now look at those five characters.

Leader guy, arrogant, self-destructive, cares so much but can't really express it, runs from commitment for the longest time, but actually wants to stay, just doesn't know how?

Strong, independent woman who's actually kind of the leader, sees to it that everyone feels good, doesn't need a man, but falls for the one who runs away anyway?

Nerdy, non-white computer guy, who knows he is awesome at what he does, is unconventionally stylish compared to the usual type of this character, cares about his new found family a lot and tries to support them with new ideas?

Brilliant, weird woman but absolutely beautiful in her own way, very caring but can't express it sometime, quirky and hyperactive?

Badass softie with a super specific interest he is brilliant at despite it maybe being considered effeminate in comparison to his other super manly, buff-ness, played by Christian Kane?

Sound familiar?

Nate or Flynn, Sophie or Eve, Hardison or Ezekiel, Parker or Cassie, Eliot or Jacob?

I am NOT saying these are exactly the same characters, far from it. They are all their own wonderful selves. But there are similarities there that I just adore so much. I admit, I think of Jacob as just an alias of Eliot's that he had before he joined the Leverage crew, and he is indeed the very same person. But that's just me, because I love Leverage so much and I miss it with all my heart and having the opportunity to have Eliot live on in something else? I'll take it in a heart beat.

I started watching The Librarians a few weeks ago. I am close to finishing season three now. It took me about two seasons to warm up to Flynn, and I admit I still don't like him as much as I loved Nate. I admit, Ezekiel still pisses me off a lot because of his constant "I am Ezekiel Jones". And yet... I still like them. I still think they are wonderfully crafted characters.

I did not mean to like The Librarians. I did go into this show thinking that I probably won't like it because it's not Leverage. These are not my beloved characters and this is not the best show on earth. But it's a good show. It's a beautiful show. It's lovely.

And I fucking HATE that I like it so much, because I really did not want to love another show. I am so pissed at myself for really liking it.

But I do. And I wish this show all the best. Season four just ended and the campaigning for a fifth season is on its way. I think it really deserves it. I am so on board for a fifth season.

I have one more thing to say.

Dammit. Dammit, Dean Devlin. Dammit, John Rogers. I did not want to like this show. And yet your wonderful show is exactly that. Wonderful. Adorable. Lovely.

I really miss Leverage. I miss it so much. And I wish you'd make a movie, get the gang back together again for one last job. Just one more time breaking the law, no encores.

(Thank you Dean, John, and also Chris Downey, for Leverage. It still is everything I ever wanted from a TV show and still the only show that never disappointed me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys are the best.)

#leverage #the librarians #dean devlin #john rogers #chris downey #tnt #tv show #grifter #con men #thieves #criminals #crime #blog post #text post #love #tim hutton #gina bellman #christian kane #aldis hodge #beth riesgraf #lindy booth #john harlan kim #john larroquette #noah wyle #rebecca romijn

[phoenixyfriend]

asukaskerian

  asukaskerian  ...

sure, yes! :D what even is the plot like?

OKAY, SO.

Young Avengers can be split up, roughly, into five sections:

Volume 1, Part 1

Volume 1, Part 2

The Events (Civil War, Secret Invasion, and Dark Reign)

Children’s Crusade

Volume 2

Most of the cast has appearances in other things, but the main plot can be summed up as the above.

And now under the cut. I am verbose. Sorry.

V1 Pt1

Nate Richards, in the 31st century, finds out that he’s destined to become Kang the Conqueror, a time-travelling supervillain.

He comes back in time to the current era (or, well, 2005-ish), in an attempt to get some help and Not Go Evil.

He gets brushed aside by all the real Avengers, but finds the Vision’s corpse in a destroyed Avengers Mansion, and comes across the Avengers Failsafe Program. If they were to ever need a back-up team, then this was it!

The results aren’t meant to be just teenagers, but they’re what Nate finds. He calls himself Iron Lad, fashioning himself after Iron Man, reconstructing Vision partway to use the bot as armor. His new friends are:

Billy Kaplan, who calls himself Asgardian. He later switches to calling himself Wiccan, because being a gay superhero whose name is Asgardian would get him ripped to shreds by the media. It initially seems like his powers are electricity and flight, but it turns out he’s a reality warper.

Teddy Altman, who calls himself Hulkling. He’s a shapeshifter who can take on a Hulk-like form, though he keeps his wits about him.

Eli Bradley, who calls himself Patriot (after Bucky Barnes’ original alter ego, I think), a supersoldier whose grandfather was Isaiah Bradley, aka the Black Captain America. Isaiah was either one of the few survivors of the rounds of testing that the Serum underwent before Steve Rogers took it, or he was one of the few survivors of the experiments to recreate it after Steve went down, depending on the backstory. Either way, Eli’s got a chip on his shoulder about how African-Americans are treated by the government, including a short issue where he’s mentioned giving a school presentation on the Tuskegee experiments.

They try to do some superheroics, with varying results. The newspapers dub them the Young Avengers, and Jessica Jones, a reporter at the time, goes looking into them.

They try to save a church full of wedding guests, because the happy couple is Very Rich and everyone’s getting held hostage. They set the place on fire by accident, and have to be helped out by one of the bridesmaids. It’s not a great night for them.

Bridesmaid’s name is Kate Bishop! She doesn’t have a superhero identity yet, but she’s pretty good in a fight, and she’s the one that Cassie Lang finds.

Kate and Cassie find the boys at Avengers Mansion, and get the backstory. Cassie finds out that all the Pym Particles she was stealing from her dad (Scott Lang, one of several people to be Ant-Man) since she was in the single digits? They actually gave her superpowers. She can change size. Yay!

There’s a great big kerfuffle as Kang (Nate’s evil future self) and the actual Avengers show up. Jessica Jones ends up un-pregnanted for a bit as time threatens to collapse in on itself because of the stress it’s undergoing.

Billy’s reality-warping abilities are revealed, and he accidentally saves the day, but does not save Nate. Poor Nate.

He and Cassie kissed at some point. It’s not very relevant.

Vision is now a person! Not the same Vision you know and love, though. This one’s brain waves are based on Nate. His name is Jonas. I love him.

He ends up falling in love with Cassie because of this. This is relevant, but not for a while.

He also isn’t part of the team yet.

The adult Avengers tell them to stop superheroing, because they’re kids and not ready for this.

The kids don’t listen. They’re a Team Now.

V1 Pt2

There’s an entire “Eli’s not actually a supersoldier like his grandfather, so he takes Mutant Growth Hormone the way a normal person would take speed so he can temporarily have superpowers and it’s killing him slowly” plotline that I’m not a fan of. I’m really not a fan of the black kid getting the drug plotline. Yech.

He leaves the team for a while.

Kate is an heiress, so she’s bankrolling the team. Fuck yeah.

Also she’s calling herself Hawkeye by this point. Cassie is Stature.

Less Fuck Yeah is the fact that aliens are showing up. Why are aliens showing up? Because Teddy’s an alien.

Turns out his mom was the Skrull princess, and he’s heir to the throne of an alien empire. (His inheritance is bigger than Kate’s.)

Skrulls are natural shape-shifters, hence Teddy’s powers.

His dad was Captain Mar-Vell of the Kree empire.

The Kree and Skrull usually hate each other. Mar-Vell seduced Princess Anelle while he and some other Avengers were imprisoned by her father, in fact. It was very soap opera.

Both of these people are dead, and Teddy was raised by a nurse that Anelle had entrusted him to.

Teddy’s adoptive mom gets burned alive. And then not-alive. Teddy is understandably traumatized by the fact that he’s an alien and that his mom was just murdered by the guy that came to steal him away.

Teddy gets kidnapped. Eli rejoins the team because, well, kidnapped.

BTW Jonas has been living at Avengers Mansion, playing chess and getting tested for sapience.

Edwin Jarvis tries to convince them to let the real, adult Avengers handle the kidnapping.

They nope and Jonas helps them find more Young Avengers. They go break a kid out of prison.

Kid’s a mutant, like Billy! Kid’s had trouble controlling the powers and destroyed some stuff, like Billy! Kid looks exactly like Billy, like... wait.

This is Tommy Shepherd. He blew up a school when his superspeed manifested, and got tossed into juvie as a result. He has white hair, but he and Billy are otherwise identical. This is relevant.

They go try to save Teddy, but even more aliens show up than just the One Guy (K’lrt, the Super Skrull) that kidnapped Teddy.

The Skrulls and Kree are about to fight a war over Manhattan because Teddy exists.

A few people suggest that Billy and Tommy are retroactive reincarnations of the Scarlet Witch’s dead kids. This is still relevant.

There’s a big fight, but not a war.

Eli gets shot.

K’lrt has a change of heart and shapeshifts into Teddy and replaces him so that the aliens leave.

Eli gets a blood transfusion from Steve Rogers himself. He’s a real supersoldier now!

They get commended for their actions. Now they really ARE a team, and if someone says V1 team, it’s gonna be these seven: Billy, Teddy, Kate, Cassie, Eli, Tommy, Jonas.

Sometimes Jonas gets swapped out for Nate.

I get sad.

The Events

Civil War was about Tony Stark and Steve Rogers fighting about government oversight. It was more complicated than the movie.

Most of the YA are on Steve’s side. Cassie is on Tony’s.

They try to help the Runaways at one point.

Noh-Varr gets mind-controlled into trying to kill them.

Noh’s life is an endless clusterfuck.

They all almost kill each other, there’s a kind of queerphobic kidnapping (it’s focused on mutants and aliens, but the mutant is gay, two of the aliens are gay, and one of the aliens is genderfluid), and there’s torture of minors.

On the bright side we get to see Tommy being a Big Bro Friend to a twelve-year-old with super-strenghth, so that’s fun.

Secret Invasion is basically about the Skrulls being Everywhere.

They run into the Runaways again.

They fight some aliens.

Teddy almost gets kidnapped again?

This is not the last time Teddy gets kidnapped or even just almost kidnapped.

He should work on that.

Tommy’s powers get a panel that heavily indicate some Science that I once nerded out about for a while.

IDK it’s drawn manga-style and they all fight alien assassins and it’s fun.

Dark Reign was about Norman Osborne taking over everything and being awful.

There’s an evil version of the Young Avengers running around, using their name.

They confront the new team.

The new team ranges from “artsy villain fangirl who found a magic coat” to “guy whose powers led to him accidentally murdering his parents and now he’s fucked up from it and trying to do good” to “girl woke up with powers one day and decided to lie to the world and pretend to be Asgardian” to “some guy who just really loves guns and killing people and styled himself after Punisher’s aesthetic with even less regard to human life” to a chick that’s just a straight-up Nazi with size-changing powers and a robot boyfriend that she’s constantly rewiring to make him a more awful person.

I fucking hate Big Zero. She’s a nazi and she’s awful.

I like Sylvie, though. I mean, she pretends to be something she’s not, and she flirts with a man who’s clearly taken and gay, even while she’s not single herself.

But like.

She’s fun and kinda dumb and I enjoy reading her.

Children’s Crusade

The Scarlet Witch has been missing for a few years.

After Billy’s powers go nuclear, he decides to go find her, because she’s his soul mom.

He brings the team.

(There’s a lot more going on because the Avengers all think Billy’s powers are going to go on the fritz and murder everyone.)

GRANDPA MAGNETO IS IN THIS ONE

I LOVE GRAMPNETO

HE’S NOT GOOD AT THIS GRANDPA THING BUT HE’S HERE

Also Pietro

He’s the worst uncle

He’s so bad with kids

I love him

They find Wanda but it turns out she’s a Doombot.

So they go to Castle Doom, and it turns out she’s amnesiac and about to marry Doctor Doom because he’s manipulating her into thinking he’s a good person.

Shit happens, she gets her memories back, and then there’s a big fight between the Avengers (who think Wanda and Billy are risks), the X-Men (who think similarly, but also are mad at the Avengers, and there’s a cool sequence where Wanda knocks out Emma Frost), and Doctor Doom, who’s trying to become God.

He kind of succeeds, and then fails.

Nate shows up.

Several people, including Cassie’s dad, get brought back from the dead, or are revealed to have never been dead in the first place.

Cassie dies.

Jonas is murdered by Nate.

Everything is awful.

The team splits up.

Only Tommy wants to keep being a hero.

Everything sucks, basically.

V2

I fucking love V2.

Kate and Noh-Varr hook up and she doesn’t even realize this is the guy who almost killed her that one time until the morning after.

They fight some Skrulls while flying around in orbit with Noh’s spaceship.

(We later find out that these are not Skrulls. They are shapeshifters who are Skrull Fanboys.)

Teddy’s been sneaking out at night (he lives with Billy’s family, since he’s an orphan now) to fight crime. Billy does not approve.

There’s a new girl called America Chavez. She’s important.

Loki is like... ten.

Billy tries to pull Teddy’s mom out of another universe, moments before her death.

It’s great!

Turns out she’s an interdimensional Eldritch Abomination that wants to eat their souls.

She can make adults oblivious to the fact that anything is wrong.

She can mind-control parents.

She can, in the right location, bring back DEAD PARENTS that she mind-controls to fight you for the ultimate trifecta of trauma.

She’s terrifying and I love her.

Anyway, Loki tries to help, almost gets used as a bartering chip with Asgard to get them to help instead since no one trusts Loki, and the team comes together!

Kate, Noh, Loki, America, Billy, Teddy

They have to fight a really big horde of mind-controlled parents.

Including their own undead superhero parents.

Loki actually helps!

They fly off to have fun fighting crime elsewhere until they can figure out how to avoid Mother more successfully, since they can’t really stay in New York right now.

They live on Noh’s spaceship.

It’s a nice spaceship.

(Irony of ironies, Loki was the one that pointed The Mother Parasite in Billy’s direction and planted the idea of saving Mrs. Altman into Billy’s mind in the first place. It was a whole Thing.)

TOMMY is not part of the team, because he cut himself off from basically everyone back in CC. I’m not actually sure anyone knew HOW to contact him at this point.

He goes on a date with a cute, superpowered coworker. Coworker’s name is David. He doesn’t actually HAVE superpowers anymore, but his superpower used to be knowledge absorption, and he remembers EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING

You wanna know Wolverine’s preferred ass-wiping method? David knows. You wanna know how to do a one-time pad to encrypt data? David knows. You want Emma Frost’s bra size? He knows, but he’s not going to tell you, because she’s terrifying.

I love David.

There’s some horrifying Thing wearing Eli’s old costume running around and doing weird illegal shit so Tommy and David investigate.

Tommy gets kidnapped for a bit.

David gets the Young Avengers to help him save Tommy.

It’s awesome, mostly.

Teddy and Billy take a break, and Teddy’s new therapist is Leah of Hel.

I love Leah.

There’s a support group for exes of superpowered people who got fucked over by that whole nonsense.

All three of Noh’s exes are torn between wanting him back or wanting him dead.

Except Oubliette, who doesn’t see why she needs to choose.

America’s ex-teammate is mad that she’s a lesbian.

Patri-not is an Eldrith Being that kidnapped Tommy and we honestly still don’t know what it was.

It’s been SIX YEARS IN THE REAL WORLD AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS

And Leah is Loki’s former best friend.

Teddy think’s they’re all nuts and tries to leave.

Take a guess what happens.

Take a guess.

If you guessed kidnapping, you’re right!

The support group is working with the Mother Parasite.

So now the team has to go rescue Teddy.

Loki gets aged up by way of Billy’s magic but it doesn’t help Loki get their magic back fully like they’d hoped.

So, fight.

It’s all very dramatic and they use David’s phone tree to get backup and there’s a lot of visual metaphor.

Billy becomes the Demiurge for a bit to erase Mother from existence. He’s basically god?

Noh dumps Kate for his ex.

It turns out all of the exes are figments of Loki’s imagination. His guilt over murdering his child self (back in Journey into Mystery) and possessing the body manifested itself externally, and the reason he lost so much of his magic was because he was subconsciously creating magical constructs like Leah and the League of Evil Exes.

Noh feels like a dumbass.

Loki disappears just as Billy’s introducing all of his friends to his parents.

Loki feels guilty as shit.

There’s a New Year’s party and everyone’s invited, including David’s phone tree.

Fun!

Turns out Loki bankrolled the party. They flirt with David for a bit.

I ship it, tbh.

Patri-not wasn’t actually a figment of Loki’s imagination. Patri-not is real, and an enigma, and still has Tommy.

David makes out with Patri-not and halfway through Patri-not turns into Tommy so. Tommy’s back!

WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK PATRI-NOT IS

YES I’M GENUINELY UPSET ABOUT THIS

There’s a joke at the end of the comic about how they’re all queer except Kate.

Hawkeye implies that she’s probably bi later on.

Loki never rejoins the team because GUILT.

Original Sins was a thing. Teddy, David, and Noh work together to save a bunch of stoners who are about to die from having a bunch of information downloaded directly into their brain when someone crushed a giant eyeball.

And everyone’s been doing their own thing since then.

Teddy really needs to stop getting kidnapped, tbh.

#asukaskerian #Young Avengers #Teddy Altman #Billy Kaplan #Kate Bishop #Eli Bradley #Jonas #Tommy Shepherd #Noh Varr #David Alleyne #America Chavez #Cassie Lang #Nate Richards

[picturesmadewords-blog]

We can fly - a Teddy & Billy ficlet

Hello, fellow Young Avengers fans! This is my very first non-reblog post on my all-new tumblr that I decided to create for my writings - if and when I get to write more, that is. The thing is, I used to write a lot until a few years ago. I was very active in my country’s Harry Potter fandom and wrote tons of Remus x Sirius stories. But, as I got older, I abandoned writing more and more… until this summer, when I couldn’t take it anymore: I had too many scenes and characters in my mind to let them sleep there forever, so I decided to start writing again. We’ll see how this goes.

I wanted to try something with my absolute favorite Marvel characters, Teddy Altman and Billy Kaplan. Being a gay man who was a teenager when these two first came bursting into comics, I owe a lot to them. And I have tons of little scenes and snippets with them floating around in my head, so here we are. My first post is a ficlet set during the events of Young Avengers v1, specifically right after Teddy’s mom’s death. On the day of her funeral, to be more precise. I’m sure this has been done before, but I really wanted to give shape to my version of it. It’s not much, but there’s a lot of heart in it and all the fluff I need to survive the horrible world we’re currently living in.

As I said, this is my first real piece of writing in years, so any kind of comment is welcome. I just want to see if I still have something worthy to say with my writing. It’s also my first piece of writing about Marvel characters AND my first piece of fiction in English. English is not my first language, so ANY kind of comment about style/form/possible grammar mistakes is highly appreciated.

Now, onto the fic!

Title: We can fly

Fandom: Young Avengers (Marvel comics)

Characters: Billy Kaplan, Teddy Altman, Jeff Kaplan, Rebecca Kaplan, Eli Bradley

Rating: G

POV: Billy (first section), Teddy (second and third sections)

“Call me, man. Whenever you want. Don’t ride this out alone. Neither of you should.”

Billy nodded. He stared deeply into Eli’s eyes and saw something unexpected there. He hadn’t seen Eli cry at the funeral, he didn’t think so. But the boy’s eyes were now shiny. If he hadn’t cried, he looked like he was about to. That wasn’t something Billy was used to. That look of defeat in his teammate’s eyes. In his friend’s eyes. Those eyes said so much more than “I’m sad because my friend’s mom died.” Those eyes seemed to say that now it was real. Not that Billy thought Eli hadn’t taken it seriously from the first moment Nate appeared in his life, but what they had gone through, the terrible, scary things they had gone through, weren't enough to prepare them for this. Losing someone, actually losing someone. Billy saw Eli's love for his grandparents in those eyes. He had seen the fear of losing his own parents in his own eyes that morning, when he had briefly looked at himself in the bathroom mirror.

And then, something else wholly unexpected. Eli hugged him. He pulled him close and hugged him and hugged him. When he let go, Billy had no idea how to react. He smiled faintly. The kind of gratitude he was feeling for Eli couldn’t be expressed in words.

They were on the doorsteps of his house. The sky was grey and there was a chill in the air. “Like in the movies,” Billy thought. “There’s always bad weather at funerals.”

Eli looked at Kate, who was waiting for him outside. He gave one last friendly smile and left. Kate waved at Billy and, once they were out of sight, the boy closed the door.

He turned to the living room. He was facing the back of the sofa, which was placed right in the middle of the room. The sight of the messy blonde hair visible just above the back cushions made his heart jump a little. “Man up, Kaplan. Man up,” he kept thinking. He closed his eyes, took a heavy breath and walked towards the sofa.

“Hey.” Billy tried to put on his best comforting smile. Teddy was sort of slouching on the sofa, his head low, his hands dangling between his legs, his black tie loosened. The plate Billy had prepared for him still lay untouched on the coffee table – a sandwich, some chips, a small portion of some sort of casserole one of his aunts must’ve brought. Glancing at it, Billy suddenly recoiled at the smell of food lingering in the house, as if he had only noticed it now that everyone had gone.

He sat on the sofa next to Teddy. The boy looked like he was somewhere else, somewhere far away, where hopefully he was still a happy teenager with a beautiful boyfriend and a loving mother, and not an alien prince with a dead parent who had lied to him his whole life.

Billy leaned on his shoulder. He enclosed Teddy’s huge frame with one arm, or tried to. And then the most exquisite, the most heartwarming thing happened. Billy had feared anger, tears, coldness, all things that would have been natural and that he would have faced with strength and perseverance for his boyfriend’s sake. He had not expected Teddy to melt into his embrace, his lovely face burrowed into Billy’s neck, his arms tight around Billy’s waist.

Teddy was big, much bigger than Billy’s slender figure, and yet he looked so small and fragile in Billy’s arms. All the boy could do was to rest his head on Teddy’s shoulders, feeling Teddy’s breath close to his chest, so warm, so soft through his white shirt.

They stayed like that for several minutes, in complete silence. There were no tears, no words of comfort, just two boys tangled together, Teddy safely hidden in Billy’s arms, Billy slowly stroking Teddy’s back.

A sound coming from the kitchen. And, a few seconds later, Jeff and Rebecca Kaplan standing in the doorway, both looking tired and much older than Billy ever remembered. Billy didn’t even try to let go of Teddy, he had no intention of letting go, parents or no parents. If anything, he held Teddy even closer, a sudden, overpowering sense of protectiveness washing over him. He’s mine and he needs me and I will hold him for the rest of my life if that’s what he needs.

“Billy, son, we’re going to your aunt’s to bring the hellions home,” Jeff said with a sweet smile. “But before we go, your mother and I need to speak to you boys.”

At that, Teddy jerked up. He didn’t let go of Billy’s waist, though, as he looked at Billy’s parents. “Mr. Kaplan, Mrs. Kaplan… I am so grateful, I will leave as soon as…”

“Hush, dear,” Rebecca said warmly, as she approached the sofa. Her hand reached Teddy’s forehead and she half-stroked, half-brushed his hair. Teddy smiled as Billy felt a sudden surge of love for his mom.

“That’s what we wanted to talk about,” Jeff said, stepping forward himself. His wife put a loving hand on his chest, and he put an arm around her shoulders. Billy smiled at the gesture.

“Billy told us that you have no living relatives,” Rebecca said tentatively, careful not to hurt the boy any further. “Now, mind you, we don’t want to force anything onto you, but…” she paused and sighed. Billy felt his heart skip several beats. He also felt Teddy slightly trembe in his arms. “We don’t, and as soon as you’re eighteen,” the woman continued “you will be able to choose what is best for yourself. But right now, if you want, Jeff and I were thinking that it would be our pleasure to have you with us.”

Billy was beaming. Teddy looked at the couple with wide, shimmering eyes. “We’re sure that there will be some legal stuff to take care of, which we will do once we’re all a little rested,” Jeff said, sitting next to his son. “For now, though, consider yourself our guest. Tomorrow we’ll fix the guest bedroom for you, and Billy here will help you make it your own with a few Pokémon posters or whatever you kids like nowadays. I really hope you will come to consider this your home, in time.”

Billy couldn’t keep it all in any longer. He let go of Teddy, turned to his father and hugged him, whispering “Thank you,” in his ear. Teddy sat motionless, incredulous.

“As for tonight,” Rebecca started, with a voice that exuded both motherly affection and practicality “we thought you could… sleep in Billy’s room.”

Teddy’s eyes widened even more. Billy, having let go of his father, jumped up to embrace his mother. Rebecca put a hand forward, making her son wait for his thankful hug. “This is a one-time thing, young men. Don’t make a habit of it. It’s only because the guest bedroom needs airing and,” she sighed. “And I guess we could all use a little affection and caring tonight.” She let Billy briefly hug her, then tightened her wool cardigan, as if a sudden shiver had passed over her.

“Your mother can’t wait to get the boys back from your aunt. Imagine being that desperate for affection,” Jeff said, getting up from the sofa and walking towards the front door to get his car keys.

Billy chuckled. So did Teddy, through teary eyes. He had met Billy’s bothers and both he and Billy knew that wanting those pests back was the act of a woman desperate to bring life back to what was, at that moment, a very grim house. They both couldn’t wait.

------------------------------------------------

Hours later, as if in a dream where you wander from place to place without any rational reason, Teddy found himself sitting on his boyfriend’s bed. A stylized cartoonish Captain America was staring at him from the heavy bed cover. He looked up, admiring Billy’s model replicas of all the major spaceships from Star Wars, hanging from the ceiling, while a glance at Billy’s desk revealed several action figures and statues of Thor and the Scarlet Witch, all of different sizes and some of them sporting costumes that Teddy recognized from an era of the Avengers that went back to before either he or Billy were even born. Taped to the wall behind the desk, he saw some pencil drawings, mostly of Billy’s winged headgear.

Teddy never thought he would ever find someone who was as big a nerd as he was. Billy couldn’t quite name every single Doctor Who companion from the 1950s onward, not yet, so he felt his nerd crown was safe for now. But still, Billy was a threat.

A wonderful, wonderful threat. He started fantasizing about spending entire afternoons playing computer games and swapping comics with Billy in the comforting space of the room he was now in. Watching their favorite shows together, while holding hands or spooning on that bed, which was thankfully big enough for the both of them. Stealing kisses when they were alone, stealing more than kisses whenever possible. And maybe, one day, building a life of their own, together.

His mind was full of all those incredible thoughts. He forced himself to focus on them. He willed them into his mind, fearing that he would soon wander back into the darkness. He knew that there would come a time when he needed to go back there. To mourn, to cope. But not tonight.

Tonight, he felt like he was given a second chance at life. And he wanted to take it and make it his own.

“I don’t think my PJs will fit you.” Billy’s voice, coming from the walk-in closet, startled him out of his haze. “But maybe this old jersey… it will be a snug fit.”

Billy came into the room holding a faded football jersey and a pair of shorts. “Not that I will complain.”

“I could make myself a little smaller,” Teddy said, taking the clothes from Billy’s hands.

“Oh, right. Please don’t. I really don’t mind the bulging muscles.”

Teddy laughed. He knew what Billy was doing. He was playing right along his little fantasy of “this is just a sleepover with your boyfriend, it’s not like your mom is dead and not even your real mom.” He loved him even more for that.

Teddy took off what remained of his funeral suit. He had tossed the jacket over the desk chair as soon as he had entered Billy’s room, and the tie was dangling from his neck, completely loose. Billy had turned around to get the spare pillow from the closet and, when he turned back, he found Teddy wearing only the Bionic Woman boxers he had bought for him on eBay.

“Oh come on now,” Billy half-whined, admiring his boyfriend’s sculpted chest and incredible legs. Not to mention Lindsay Wagner’s cotton face hugging Teddy in all the right places. God, that was wrong. What was he thinking when he bought those boxers. “Put that shirt on before I decide to completely destroy my mother’s trust in the both of us.”

Teddy smiled, putting on the shorts first, then the jersey. It was a snug fit and he had to shrink just a little to even put his muscular arms through the sleeves, but not so much as to avoid the tight effect that Billy had hoped for. He loved teasing Billy like that.

Billy was flushed. He swallowed and playfully threw the pillow (now fitted with a fresh Lion King pillowcase) at Teddy, who caught it and held it close to his chest.

“Oh, can you feel the love tonight, baby,” Teddy commented in the most suave voice he was capable of.

“You are such a dork.” Billy went back to the closet, while Teddy jumped on the bed, resting his messy golden hair on his new pillow.

“You know,” Billy’s voice came from the closet “if you feel up to it, if you’re not too tired or anything, the brats have this junior league soccer game tomorrow, I don’t think mom had time to pull them out of it. It will most likely be a total bore, but it might do you good to get out and OH MY GOD NO.”

Teddy jumped up, scared half to death. Billy’s screaming had felt like a well-placed punch in his guts. His mind immediately went to the worst possible scenarios, which flashed in his mind one after the other in a matter of milliseconds. Something had fallen on Billy’s head and he was injured. He had slipped and fallen and had really hurt himself. The Skrulls were back for him. Kang the freaking Conqueror was hiding in Billy’s walk-in closet.

“Billy! B, what’s wrong?” he yelled, worried. The Kaplans still hadn’t come back from Billy’s aunt, what could he do now? The thought that both he and his boyfriend were superheroes never even crossed his mind. That night, he felt like a kid who was in desperate need for somebody to look out for him.

“Nothing, nothing.”

Billy’s apparently calm voice made Teddy calm, too. Still confused, but calm.

“It’s nothing but oh my God this can’t be happening.”

“B?”

“Okay, so, apparently,” Billy’s voice, still coming from the closet, had assumed that tone that Teddy had come to recognize as bitchy Billy. “Apparently…” Billy continued “I only have three pairs of PJs. And the one I wanted to wear tonight, the one I wanted you to see me in, a nice, simple, elegant light grey thing that my grandmother gave me for Hanukkah, well, it’s in the wash. Which leaves me with two unspeakable options.”

Teddy half-smiled, still puzzled. “Okay?”

“Yeah, not okay. Not really. But here goes nothing.” Billy came out of the closet and Teddy had to blink a few times to fully understand what he was seeing.

Billy, all messy dark curls and hot red cheeks, was wearing a pair of light blue PJs. The shirt was a little too tight and the pants, which, Teddy assumed, were supposed to come to his ankles, were a couple of inches short of reaching them. And the pattern. Oh, the pattern.

It was small cartoon cowboys.

And cowboy hats and little white clouds and bright green cacti. Teddy was suddenly reminded of Andy’s room in Toy Story, before the arrival of Buzz Lightyear.

“Oh my God,” Teddy cried, grinning like a maniac. “That is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.” He jumped from the bed, covering his smiling mouth with a hand. “You are the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.”

Billy blushed furiously. “The thing is, I haven’t really grown that much since I was twelve so I still have these old things lying around and…”

Teddy shut him up with a kiss. He cupped Billy’s face and kissed him and kissed him, Billy standing on his toes, his thin arms embracing Teddy’s waist.

“I love you and I have to take a picture,” Teddy said, coming up for air.

Billy’s eyes became two enormous saucers. “You… wouldn’t dare…” he said slowly, stepping back from his boyfriend.

“Please please please I have to immortalize the unthinkable cuteness right before my eyes,” pleaded Teddy, already grabbing his phone.

“No way! No way!” Billy laughed.

“I promise I won’t show it to anyone! It’ll be just for me!” Teddy wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Would you really deny me this, tonight of all nights?” He looked at Billy with his best beaten puppy stare.

“Oh, that’s low,” Billy sighed. He opened his arms, defeated, and gave Teddy the sweetest of smiles as Teddy took as many pictures as possible. Yes, he was going to keep them for himself. Well, maybe one could find its way to Kate and Cassie. Maybe.

Of course Teddy knew that Billy could’ve just worn a T-shirt or something. He didn’t know if the adorable pajamas were chosen intentionally or not. But he did know that his boyfriend was the most incredible boy to ever walk (or, occasionally, fly) the earth and he had, once again, made him smile on one of the worst days of his life. He knew, right then and there, that anyone who could make him laugh on a day like that was someone he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

------------------------------------------------

“Tired?” Billy asked, when the excitement over the PJs was over. They were lying on Billy’s bed, side by side. Teddy was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Billy was staring at Teddy.

“Exhausted,” Teddy replied. He turned his head towards Billy, a faint smile on his lips. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being here. For being you,” Teddy whispered. He had tried to avoid it, but he felt the darkness getting closer and closer. He reached a hand and stroked Billy’s cheek.

Billy closed his eyes, enjoying his boyfriend’s loving touch. He leaned closer to Teddy and rested his head on Teddy’s chest, listening to his heart, getting drunk on his scent. “Is this okay?” he asked.

Teddy snorted. “Are you kidding? This is perfection.”

Silence fell over them. The room was mostly dark, only an old Mickey Mouse lamp illuminating the desk with all its action figures. Teddy closed his eyes and listened to the soft hum of Billy’s breathing.

“B?” he asked, with a wavering voice. “Am I going to be alright?”

Billy frowned, but didn’t look up. “Give yourself some time, babe.”

“But I mean…” Teddy continued, slightly hesitant. “When we get older. If… when we get to be adults together. My life’s so fucked-up. How can I… what kind of… man could I be? What kind of… father could I be…”

Billy’s head jerked up at those words. “You’re going to the most amazing dad. You are selfless and caring and goofy and you can shape-shift into all sorts of funny animals! Are you kidding, our kids will love you.” Billy paused, realizing what he had just said. “Yes, I did say our kids because I’m not going anywhere, T. Oh, and I want a small army of brats and I hope each and every one of them is as impossible as my brothers so we don’t get lazy in our old age.”

“Oh, God,” Teddy chuckled. After a silent pause, he added “I hope you are right. I just want to be free from this… this fear of failing and… and falling into dark thoughts. Dark places.” He wiped a tear that had made its way across his cheek.

Billy had rested his head on Teddy’s chest again. “Don’t be afraid of falling, T. It’s natural. It’s human. Neither of us might exactly be human human, but you get my point. Don’t be afraid. Because, if you fall, I will pick you up. Always. I will always be there to pick you up and lift you up, just as I’m sure you will be there for me.” Billy felt Teddy’s arms tighten around his shoulders, and he burrowed his face into Teddy’s chest. “We can both fly, if we can’t lift each other up, who can?”

Teddy smiled.

There was a long pause, which Teddy interrupted just to whisper “Goodnight, my sweet cowboy.”

“Goodnight,” Billy replied, grinning. He paused for a couple of seconds, then added “Hey, can I sleep like this?” holding Teddy even tighter for emphasis.

“You have to sleep like that,” Teddy replied, then placed a delicate kiss on Billy’s curly head.

Silence fell into the room once again. Both boys were half-asleep, when Teddy spoke up again. “Hey, what was on the other pair of PJs that was so terrible you went with cartoon cowboys?”

Billy snorted and hid his face in Teddy’s chest even further.

“Smurfs.”

Teddy grinned.

He definitely had something to look forward to.

#young avengers #billy kaplan #teddy altman #wiccan #hulkling #fanfic

[stopthepres]

“who’s texting you?”

doe shifts in closer in our lori’s booth to rest her head on my shoulder, using what looks like innocent affection to spy on a few incoming messages from cait. she huffs and rolls her eyes so i don’t even bother to respond, shoving my phone into my pocket to keep it away from her.

the last thing i need is her sending a pissed off response. she’s been known to hijack my phone when she’s unsatisfied with how i’m handling a conversation.

“she’s just being cait,” i explain, worried about a potential explosion. “it’s whatever.”

“it’s whatever?” doe lifts her head off my shoulder and reaches for my milkshake glass to slide it in front of her instead because she’s already finished hers. or maybe she thinks i don’t deserve to finish my own drink. “she’s being a total nightmare.”

“she’s your friend,” i remind her. i don’t understand the politics of how women work but i suspect it’s way more advanced than anything that happens between men. “you should probably be nice to her now that teddy’s all wifed up.”

“she should stop trying to talk to you when she knows we’re on a date.”  

“when she thinks we’re on a date.” i regret making this distinction immediately when i feel doe’s elbow make rough contact with my ribs. “hey, what the hell did i do?”

“you’re going to blow our cover!”

“literally nobody is listening to us right now.” sometimes i get the feeling doe thinks we’re on a really low budget reality show. or maybe she’s practicing just in case we ever get the offer from e! because they’ve run out of other stupid content. “plus,” i go on, booping the tip of her nose with my finger, “you already posted sappy anniversary stuff on both our accounts so mission accomplished, yeah?”

“that doesn’t mean romance is dead now, p.” doe knocks her shoulder against mine and then leans in to take a sip from my milkshake, making sure not to break eye contact with me. “we’ve been pulling this off pretty good. we don’t want to screw it up.”

we’ve been doing this fake dating thing for a month now. and a month may not seem like enough reason to pull out the anniversary word but me and doe don’t generally last beyond the first date with most people we meet. my dad is starting to latch onto the idea that this is my big chance at all the things i’ve been telling him for years i don’t want.

i still don’t want those things but doe and i celebrated our month long experiment with commitment anyways. for appearances mostly but it’s not like i’d ever turn down going to a cheesy skate rink and then coming to lori’s once our legs tired out. i fell so many times but doe always helped me back up again. there’s a metaphor in this but it’s lazy and we’re better than that.

my phone goes off again before i can say anything to doe’s complaining and her superhuman hearing notices it chiming in my pants. her eyes narrow and she shifts in closer but i scoot away to keep the same distance. “what are you doing?”

“is that her again?” she sounds ready to draw blood. “you need to check.”

“better yet, we can ignore her,” i suggest slowly. “or whoever it is.”

“has she been texting you a lot lately? i didn’t realize you two, like, gave a shit about each other.”

right about now i wish i could hit rewind to the moment during the corny couples skate when she guided me back against a wall to kiss me even though my legs threatened to slide out from underneath me. her mouth tasted like cherry coke and i couldn’t stop thinking about how badly i wanted to get my hands underneath her skirt. i have no idea how it’s possible for one person to drive me out of my fucking mind.

not always in a good way though. because right now we’re not making out. right now she’s glaring at me like i’ve wronged her even though she isn’t really my girlfriend. if this relationship actually existed, i still don’t see the problem with talking to somebody we’ve both known a long fucking time.

“why are you acting like this is a big deal?” i take my milkshake back and she rolls her eyes while making a show of turning her head away from me while crossing her arms. “all she does is ask about me and you 99% of the time so it’s harmless.”

“or she’s waiting for me to inevitably piss you off so she can be all cool girl about it and get you to want to fuck her instead.”

suddenly i feel stupid. why else would cait be so interested in what i have to say lately? she’s never paid much attention to me. there’s always been other guys to keep her distracted. or she straight up leaves the room within five minutes of me showing up half the time. doe’s made a lot of overdramatic accusations over the years but this one? this one makes sense.

“so you think she’s jealous?” i sound excited at the possibility this could be true and i immediately regret letting my voice squeak upward like that. i’m embarrassed by it, sure. it’s definitely the opposite of attractive. and yet the regret comes from knowing i will never hear the end of it if doe thinks i want cait to be jealous. that’s not part of the plan.

it’s getting harder to pin point why we’re doing all of this now that no other girl has shown interest in me since teddy’s wedding.

“why does it matter?” she finally turns back to me and i can feel how annoyed she is. that energy fucking radiates from doe. sometimes i think i can feel it clear across town when she purposely leaves my texts on read for hours than only sends a shrug emoji when she finally responds. “she’s not your type.”

“maybe i don’t have a type?”

“well, maybe you don’t have a girlfriend either.”

“…uh, right. i don’t.” and i laugh.

i laugh when i’m so nervous it’s hard to figure out what else to say. doe knows that but this is one of those moments when doe doesn’t care she knows me better than anybody else. it doesn’t matter she knows i laughed when my parents told me they were splitting up for good. i laughed when the counselor told me i might fail the eighth grade after missing too many days of school for reasons we really don’t need to get into right now. i laughed when i caught my college girlfriend cheating on me. i laughed when i got a pile of rejection letters from all the east coast schools i thought would get me out of here.

i laughed when we thought brady might be sick again. that was the worst one.

so i laugh when it hits me how insane it is i’ve been putting all my time into a fake relationship when someone like cait might potentially want me. yeah, i’m all about scaring off boring people but would it be the worst to find someone who genuinely wants me as a boyfriend?

it feels a lot like doe won’t ever be that person. if this is only a game, she’s never going to love me, right?

“right. you don’t.” she sounds so sure of it that my stomach somehow starts to digest the rest of my internal organs. “i’m not your girlfriend, preston. damn. sucks to be you! everything’s soooo hard for you. wow! spending all your time with me because of this! what a rough time for you.”

“oh my god, i never said any of that.” i laugh again. god, i need to stop letting that shit bubble up before i can stop it. “being with you all the time is actually really fucking easy doe. like, way easier than anything else in the world. it’s just-“

“just what?” doe sounds like she’s giving me challenge instead of posing a question and i’m not brave enough to meet her halfway.

i’m not ready to face why suddenly it feels easier to think about cait’s eyes and her laugh and how it felt the one time she moved a curl away from my forehead when i had a fever while doe was out of town with nate. fucking nate! how the hell did he get doe in a way i haven’t? where’s the freaking justice in that?

“just forget it,” i sigh, grabbing the copy of our check off the table and sliding out of the booth as fast as i can. “i’m gonna pay and we can bounce.”

she trails behind me mumbling god knows what, staring at her phone while tapping out messages that i’m sure are going to teddy or kat or whoever earned the privilege of dealing with her current state of rage. she leaves me alone to deal with the cashier and i find her standing by my car with her arms crossed again, leaning against the passenger side door.

“are you seriously mad at me?” i step in closer and she bites her lip when i tap the toe of my shoe against hers. “i’d, like, delete her number if you asked me to and that’s not even a joke. you know that. i’m fucking whipped.”

“i don’t know, sounds a lot like you’d happily trade me in.” she tilts her head back to look up at me, squinting like she’s trying to make sense of me for the first time ever, like she’s turned to a new page of one of those magic eye books she used to buy at book fairs. “what’s going on with you, raimi? you’re seriously wasting your time on cait when you’ve got me?”

i don’t have her though. that’s what’s making me crazy. that’s what makes cait appealing.

i can’t say that right now. i can’t say anything.

so i just laugh and spend the entire drive back to doe’s wondering if i should text cait back in the morning. 

#014

[kijiboop]

Cable x OFC: Muscle Memory - Chapter Three

Chapter One | Chapter Two

A/N: Warnings for angst.

[Wade] And extensive and graphic massaging of canon, both comic and movie. I’m curious about those new characters, Linn. When are we gonna see them? 

[Linn] Maybe in the Thanos story.

[Wade] *whines* Unfair!

“You impossibly adorable and yet still manly and rugged moron.” Wade turned to glare at Cable and swung the apartment door closed behind him. “You are really bad at this.”

“At what?” Nathan asked in exasperation.

Wade half-stormed past him into the room. “Getting to second base. Getting to first base! Touching a bat to begin with. Finding the stadium. I think you’re still wandering around the parking lot.” He opened Nathan’s small fridge unit and rooted around inside until he found a beer, opened it and began to drink. “The things I do for you, man.”

“I am not trying to get to any base with Jane.” Nathan started to turn away and his eyes found the empty coffee mug sitting beside the sink, still unwashed. He twitched. “I’m married.”

“Is that it?” Wade’s expression softened and he sighed. “I’m sorry, Nate. I guess I didn’t think--”

“That I’d still be thinking about my wife?” Cable snapped at him and Wade winced. “That I’d still feel married even when I know I can’t see her again? We were married for six years, Wade. We had...have a son who I will ALSO never see again.” He stepped up until he was uncomfortably close to Deadpool and glared. “Sex may not mean much to you, but it does to me. I’m not looking to get laid. I’m sure as hell not looking for another relationship.”

“I’m sorry,” Wade said quietly. “Truly. I am. I wasn’t thinking.” Nathan turned away and picked up one of the electrical tools from his workbench, rolling it back across his fingers. “I know you’re not big on the public demonstration of feels, but do you want to talk about it? About them?”

“What does it matter?” Nathan paused the rolling of his fingers to glare at the tool in his fist. “It’s just reopening the wound.”

“Dude, the wound is still spurting. I consider this first aid.”

In spite of himself, Cable smiled. “I know every man says this about the love of his life, but she was beautiful. Her name was Hope. I found her in a foxhole, pinned down by one of the newer classes of Sentinel. Her and her team. I think there were four of them still alive then. Hope, Ivory, Manassas and J’tue.”

“Did you just spit on the floor?”

Cable snorted. “J’tue was a Shi’ar renegade, one of the ones who made Earthfall without getting slaughtered by the Sentinels first.” He paused and waved a hand at the couch. “Do you want to sit down?”

Wade smiled.

***

Cable told him everything he could think of. He told him about Hope and her team, how they had escaped the firefight, how Hope’s smart mouth and irreverence had driven him mad with frustration until he realized how much he loved her. He told him about their wedding, their discussions on whether or not to have kids, the decision to try and how excited they had both been when Hope had turned up pregnant. He told him about Tyler’s birth, how it had changed everything and clarified so much more.

“I’ll say. Movie versus comic canon-bending versus making it up from whole cloth at its finest, Linn.”

Not right now, Wade. Seriously. Besides, my blog’s name is “noncanon and proud.” I might as well go with it.

“That’s my girl.”

Shut up, Wade.

When he started to get to the point that had sent him into the past, Nathan slowed down. He looked at Wade, who had finished three more of his beers and was still listening intently. “None of this really matters anymore,” he said softly.

“Nathan, you lovable, musclebound doofus,” Wade smiled. “Of course it does. Tell me.”

“It doesn’t, though. It doesn’t happen. We… you changed what happens with Russell. Hope and Tyler survive.” Nathan’s eyes found the restored teddy bear sitting on the bookshelf to one side of the door. 

“But you still lost them.” Wade leaned forward and loosely folded his hands together. “I mean, you don’t have to talk about it. But if it helps…”

Cable considered for a while then stood and retrieved the last of the beer, handing one to Deadpool and keeping the other for himself. “I don’t want to talk about the event, actually,” he admitted as he sat down again facing Wade. “There’s been enough grief in my life at this point that reliving the bad parts when I don’t have to seems masochistic.”

“There’s a big market for masochists,” Wade replied. “If you go in for that, you could probably make a decent sideline in porn.” At Cable’s irritated glance, he smiled. “I would apologize, but I’m really not sorry for that one.” They sat in silence for a few minutes before Wade asked, “What happened in the gym?”

“Present conflicting with past conflicting with future.” Nathan smiled thinly into his beer. “I’m still human even if I’m grieving my marriage.” When Wade just raised a scarred eyebrow, he shrugged. “I can admit Jane looks good when she runs. It’s just the awareness that I think that is harmful to my mental health.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time you went crazy over a woman,” Wade pointed out. “I think I’m jealous.”

Nathan closed his eyes and leaned back in the armchair. “I’m not ready to let her go, Wade. I still love Hope with everything I’ve got. She was… is… the mother of my son and everything I ever wanted in a partner. How am I supposed to get over that?” He opened his eyes again to look at Wade. “You’re not over Vanessa. And you never will be. That’s how I feel about Hope.”

“True,” Wade said quietly. “But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying the company of the people I care about who are still alive. Since, y’know, I do actually care about some people.” He set his half-empty beer aside to frame his argument with his hands. “You said I don’t take sex seriously, but you’re wrong. I take sex as seriously as I take life. Life’s huge and crazy and it doesn’t take much to make it vanish entirely. I’m still breathing when I shouldn’t be and that hurts like hell, especially when Vanessa isn’t and should be. But I’m still here. I take things as I see them. The world is fucking random and doesn’t really follow any kind of rules or laws, no matter what we puny humans try to do to force laws on it. Sex isn’t that different. It doesn’t always make sense or follow a set pattern, but when there’s attraction, to say there isn’t is like staring someone with a pulse and active lungs and saying ‘You’re dead.’ Life keeps going. I guess I feel like sex does, too.” He paused, then added, “and love.”

“You really do remind me of her,” Nathan said with a small smile. 

“Considering how much you still love her, I will take that as a compliment.” Deadpool picked up his beer again and finished it while Cable slowly rolled his empty can between his hands, thinking. “Get some sleep, Nate,” Wade said as he stood up. “Maybe things will look better after a time jump.”

“A what?”

“Never mind.” Wade swung himself out of Nathan’s doorway by the door frame and waved. “Good night, handsome.”

***

When Jane woke up the next morning, she found Neena curled up around her, big-spoon. She didn’t remember the other woman coming in last night, but she wasn’t about to complain about the feeling of her arms around her. “Where did you come from?” she asked softly.

Neena stirred and pushed her face deeper into Jane’s hair. “Bed was empty. Got lonely,” she mumbled softly. “You okay? You were crying in your sleep when I got here.”

“Liar.” Jane stretched and rolled over to face Neena, running her fingers through her hair and tracing her cheek. “Yeah, I’m fine. My workout didn’t exactly go as planned and I think I fucked up.”

Neena raised her eyebrows. “Fucked up?”

Jane nodded, then paused. “Do you know Nathan that well? Wade made it sound like he’s made of glass or something.”

“Glass cannon,” Neena chuckled. “I just know he’s from the future and he only had enough juice in his equipment for two jumps: one in and one back.”

“So why is he still here?”

Neena’s eyes were serious. “He used his return jump to save Wade. Blocked a bullet that would have killed him. It’s a long story, but that’s the short version. He saved Wade but now he can’t go back home. I guess he had a family.”

Jane lay quietly for a while, then closed her eyes. “And I told him to move on.”

“When?” Neena gasped, her eyes almost glittering with schadenfreude.

“When we were teasing Sam?” Jane blinked and sat up in the bed, rubbing her hands through her hair. “I’m surprised he managed to be civil in the gym. No wonder he didn’t want me to spot him.”

Neena followed her when she stood up to get dressed. “You worked out together last night?”

“Yeah.” Jane discarded her tanktop in favor of a fresh bra and t-shirt. “We lifted for a while, then ran the track. When I looked up, he was just gone, though. Vanished and turned off his communicator. Freaked the fuck out of Wade when I told him.”

“Cable turned off his communicator.” When Jane nodded, Neena slowly shook her head. “There’s a first. And I thought he hated to run.”

“He said he ran like a fucking orangutan,” Jane said, unable to suppress her grin at the memory. “He wasn’t far off.” 

“He likes you.” Domino looped her arms around Jane’s waist as Jane pulled up a pair of jeans. “He wouldn’t have stuck around if he didn’t.”

“That’s bull,” Jane snorted. “Cable doesn’t like anyone, not even Wade. Maybe especially not Wade. He tolerates all of us and only barely most days.” She swatted Domino’s hands away from her waist so she could fasten her fly and button. “You’re just playing off of Wade.”

Domino hugged a little tighter and Jane sighed, leaning her head back on her friend’s shoulder. “I didn’t say he wants to fuck you,” she whispered. “I said he likes you. I think he likes you and it scares him.” When Jane didn’t answer, Neena rocked slowly and kissed her cheek. “I think you like him, too. Wade only seems to spout shit like he did yesterday when there’s really something going on. It’s like he knows something we don’t.”

“He’s just crazy,” Jane murmured. “He wants you to think he knows something.”

“He might be unpredictable, but he’s still perceptive. Maybe he saw something you missed.” Jane remained stonily silent and Domino sighed. “Love you,” she said and planted another kiss on Jane’s cheek and let her go. “I’m glad we’re one of those friendships sex doesn’t mess with.”

“Some friendships are founded on sex,” Jane said with a smile and squeezed Neena’s fingers. “I want to check on something. I’ll see you later.”

“Sure thing, gorgeous.” Neena waved and Jane waved back before they walked in opposite directions down the hallway.

***

“Your block is getting lazy.” Nathan strike to Wade’s right then reversed to kick for his ankles. 

“Just like

“Nope. Nope. It’s not working, Linn. Try something else.”

I’m having trouble moving forward. I’m sorry, okay?

“Turn off Star Trek and maybe we can get somewhere. And mute your damn Discord!”

But the button keeps flashing.

“Ignore it and write, girl! I know you’ve got plans. I can see ‘em and they’re great. Just hurry up already.”

“Where’s your mug?” Wade poked the back of Cable’s hand on the table. “I wanna see that mug in every scene from now on, Daddy.”

Cable raised one eyebrow and shook his head. “Don’t call me that. Things are weird enough without that.”

“You can say that again, Daddy.” Wade collected his pop tarts from the toaster and spun away with a little wave. 

The mug next to his hand was a different one from his usual and Nathan eyed it thoughtfully. It was a black mug covered in brilliant blue butterflies that spread upward on the mug before transforming into a cobblestone road. The text read, “Desna’s blessings.” He wasn’t sure why he had picked it from the cupboard this morning, but he liked it. Whoever or whatever Desna was. He picked it up and sipped his coffee before returning to the paper.

Distantly, somewhere in the compound, a phone rang. It connected to the whole-team cell circuit and made the phone sitting on the counter behind him vibrate obnoxiously. Nathan reached back to pick it up. “X-Force headquarters, Cable speaking.”

At first, he thought it was a bad call, one of those robotic automatic calls that tried to tell him about car insurance. Then, a female voice said carefully, “Nathan? Summers?”

“Yes?” 

The voice made a soft, nervous throat-clearing sound and then she continued, “This is Jean, at Xavier’s? He asked me to call and invite you and your team to the mansion for the weekend. He said some of the students here would benefit from training with X-Force in the Danger Room.”

“Ah.” Jean. Jean Grey. Nathan closed his eyes and shook his head sharply to clear it. She wasn’t Redd. Not yet, anyway. Someday, she’d know him as a child, when she and his father came forward two thousand years to raise him. The loops of time were enough to make anyone dizzy and he knew Jean had been uncomfortable with him from the moment she had met him, partially due to his resemblance to Scott, his father. “Yes, I think that would be fine. I’ll check with the others and call back later. Would that be alright?”

“Yes, sir.” They both stuttered to silence. His stepmother as a teenager. It was still hard to figure out. “Thanks. I… uh… I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye.” Nathan tried to make the ending as kind as possible, but it still sounded abrupt in his own ears. As he set down the phone, he triggered his communicator. “Call all members.” When the communicator beeped to alert him to the connection, he said, “Group invite to Xavier’s for the weekend. Anyone in?”

“I will tap that silvery ass so hard!” Nathan closed his eyes with a sigh. Wade would be the first to respond.

“I’m in,” Neena answered more sedately. 

“Me, too,” echoed Sam.

“I can drive,” Dopinder offered.

“Another country heard from!” cheered Wade.

“Yes, Mr. Pool,” Dopinder said cheerfully. “I am still around. How are things there?”

Nathan tried not to smile. Dopinder never ceased to make him grin, usually without trying. He felt a little bad about it since a lot of it had to do with how incredibly dedicated the younger man was to Deadpool and the idea of X-Force, even though he himself had no mutant abilities at all. “Jane?” he called. “Coming?”

“Yes, Daddy, please!” Wade cried in falsetto. 

“Do you ever shut up?” Jane’s voice finally added to the conversation. 

“Nope,” said Wade and everyone could hear the grin on his face. 

“I think I’ll stay here,” Jane said. “I’ve got some stuff to catch up on.”

Something in Nathan’s chest sank and he sighed, rolling his eyes at himself. “It’s not like you don’t live in the same fucking building, Summers,” he muttered to himself without engaging the communicator. Into the conversation, he added, “He offered the use of the Danger Room.”

“I’m in.” Jane’s reply was so fast that she practically cut him off. 

“Full house,” Deadpool caroled. “We’re going on a road trip!”

Nathan smiled to himself and cut off the connection. He looked at the butterfly mug with his coffee and sighed. He just couldn’t seem to make himself pick up the one Jane had used this morning. He finished his coffee, rinsed the mug and set it to dry, then turned back toward his apartment. 

Admitting to Wade that he had noticed Jane’s positive qualities had had the effect of haunting him most of the night. He had slept fitfully, dreams of chasing her around the track merging together with memories of some of the few good times with Hope, when they had been free enough to be a family, to have fun without being afraid or on guard. The restlessness had made it harder to focus on his telekinesis and he had finally given up on sleep around daybreak. At the moment, the only thing keeping him focused enough to both walk and avoid further infection at the same time was the coffee. At least he would have another night between this and trying to keep from dying in the Danger Room.

“Nathan?” 

Halfway to reaching for his own door, Nathan sighed and closed his eyes. Jane. “Yeah?” he responded without turning toward her.

“I’m… I’m sorry for what I said,” she said quietly. “About moving on. I didn’t know what I was talking about.”

“I know.” They’d been talking about him. He knew it happened, but it was a little surreal to have clear evidence of it. Nathan turned to smile at her, trying to shake the strangeness of acknowledging that she knew something about him he hadn’t told her. He found it hard to keep track of himself most of the time. He still wasn’t used to being known. “Who told you?”

“Neena.” Jane was hugging one arm in front of her with the opposite hand, a gesture that made her look much younger than she was, nervous and uncertain. “I’m sorry.”

Nathan shook his head. “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for stinging you. I’ve usually got better control than that.”

Jane looked surprised. “That was you?” He smiled thinly and nodded. “I didn’t know you had that kind of… I thought you were just--”

“Human?” Nathan chuckled at the embarrassed expression on her face. “Telekinetic. I don’t use it much if I can help it.” What a fucking lie. He was only constantly using it. Though the truth was still there: if he could avoid demonstrating his power externally, he would.

“Oh.” Jane’s face flushed and Cable smiled at her. She was really cute when she blushed. Thoughts of Hope needled his kidneys again and he let the thought go. “That’s why you’ve been so willing to help me train.”

Not the only reason, certainly, but he did know plenty of tricks to help focus telekinesis like hers. “I’m willing to help anyone train,” he said. “It’s kind of what I do.”

“When you’re not time jumping around history, killing people.” Nathan flinched and looked away and Jane gasped. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It just came out.”

“Spending too much time with Wade,” he said with a weak smile. “It’s what I do now.” Since I can’t train my own son to use his abilities when they manifest. Since I can’t watch him grow up. He pushed away the thoughts and sighed, rubbing his temples with one hand. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t sleep well last night and I’m thinking about trying to catch a nap before we leave for Xavier’s.”

“Of course,” Jane scrambled to find words. “I just wanted to apologize.” When Nathan nodded, she gave him a quick, nervous smile. “Have a good nap.”

“Thanks. I’ll try.” He watched her turn and walk away, then closed his eyes and leaned against his door. He missed Hope.

@genevievedarcygranger @lucifers-trash-stash @vizhi0n @even-the-sparrow @lissachan504 @ladylorelitany @originalwinchestervamp

#cable #marvel movies #josh brolin #cable x deadpool #wade wilson #ryan reynolds #nathan summers #cable x OFC #OFC: Latchkey #kiji fics #fanfic

[anonthenullifier]

scarlet visions meeting the rest of the young avengers?

Hello! This one is quite a bit outside of my comfort zone as I do not write anything Young Avengers, but I’ll give it a shot. Side note: I did not include Vision/Jonas because, in my Scarlet Vision timeline/series I really have no firm idea how he would come to exist. 

I hope you enjoy it!

“What do you think?”

Vision shifts his hips as he leans forward, heels tapping the side of the building they are sitting atop as he considers his wife’s question. The skirmish below has been persisting for almost twenty three and a half minutes, a time that is not unacceptable, per se, but also not impressive given the opponent is a low level necromancer with a small contingent of undead henchmen. He and Wanda could dispense of such foes in less than five minutes and forty five seconds (as the most conservative estimate) and that includes at least three brushes of his hand along Wanda’s back and one lost-in-the-moment kiss (they’re signature move, or so they have been informed). “They are a bit,” the sheer variety of flashing colors due to the powerful attacks is disorienting from up here, so he imagines it is far worse on the ground, which could be contributing to the overall fight, “discombobulated.”

“Yeah, they aren’t working together, like,” Wanda releases her grip on the thermos of hot chocolate, the air this high frigid, only part of the reason they are snuggled close, his cape and arm wrapped around her, and points a finger at the fight, “Tommy keeps breaking from the group to run, he knows better than that.”

A habit their son has been quite insistent on not breaking, even with various lessons of teamwork in the backyard. “I believe that could be slightly contributed to Billy working closely with,” the roster for the Young Avenger Initiative streams through his mind until he lands on the correct face, “Hulkling, perhaps Tommy is unable to apply our lessons to a group of three.”

“Billy does seem very comfortable with Teddy.” Her voice is identical to the way both Tony and Natasha would talk to him about Wanda, a long long time ago.

“I believe you set the rule we could not insinuate his relationship until he expressly informs us.”

Wanda bumps his shoulder, an action that requires barely any movement to be effective given their close proximity, “I don’t think they can hear us up here.” The hot chocolate hovers to her lips as they watch the continued attacks below, each action and movement unhelpfully independent from the others in the team. “Oh, Cassie’s growing.”

Stature, or so her file indicates is her preferred hero name, is gigantic yet again, but Vision cannot tell if the growth is strategic and purposeful or part of every hero’s experimentation (Wanda calls it a guessing game) with their newfound abilities. “Hawkeye has broken another window.”

“So when do we step in?”

Vision finds his shoulders rising and falling of their own accord as he runs through Captain Rogers’ instructions. “We were told to only intervene if there is a teachable moment, otherwise we must remain purely observational.”

“Well I’d say not working as a team is teachable,” something Vision wholeheartedly concurs with, “just have to wait for Nate to re-materialize from wherever he went.”

Iron Lad’s file is the densest of the group, a dizzying yet enjoyable puzzle Vision spent the afternoon studying, yet he still shares Wanda’s exasperation at watching the young man flicker and weave in and out of the fight. “How shall we proceed, once he returns?”

The thermos hovers again as her eyes squint, lips pursing in contemplation and the sight fills him with a comfortable, familiar warmth. “I say we go with a shield drop and then,” Wanda hums a little as she continues to watch the melee, body wiggling slightly while she cycles through the available attack patterns, “I’ll do a Scarlet burst while you take out the henchmen and we end with a Poltergeist.”

Her plan would certainly eliminate the threat, but, “That is quite dramatic.”

Wanda shrugs at this, “They’re more likely to remember something showy.”

A tactic they have occasionally fallen back on when training the boys, particularly for dull and repetitive drills. If they can demonstrate how the skill might lead to a full powered application, then the repetitiveness is suddenly deemed worthwhile. “Very well. Nathaniel is back.”

Vision stands first, hand reaching down to help Wanda up, her powers rearranging their observation tools into neat piles they can easily retrieve afterwards. Once Wanda is ready she turns towards him, the giddy grin on her face one she flashes him anytime they’re about to, in her words, kick some serious ass. She steps towards him, their bodies flush, a requirement of the maneuver, and her hands trace the vibranium clasp of his cape, “Remember, Maximoff, I’m not as young as I used to be.”

He wraps his arms around her waist, bending to place a kiss to her lips that accompanies his whispered promise, “I will be gentle.”

A synchronized, centering inhale and they exhale while stepping off the edge of the building, a scarlet concave shield forming underneath their feet, helping to even out the rush of air billowing his cape and her hair upwards. One minor turn of their bodies realigns them closer to the villain and that’s when he increases his density to speed up their descent, Wanda’s powers flowing more steadily in preparation of landing, and then, right at the last second, Vision goes incorporeal, depositing Wanda in a bubble of pulsating red on the ground as he phases through the cement. Based on visual data from their reconnaissance on the roof, he emerges precisely four feet from Wanda, hands phasing into the undead henchman within a millisecond of reappearing. In his periphery, as he phases and dismantles the lackeys, he can see the mesmerizing crackle of scarlet in the air and its reflection on the building, a technique meant to disorient a foe (and sometimes him, if he is not careful). Vision also intercepts chatter via his auditory processor some Wows a holy shit and then, a smile forming on his face at once again embarrassing his children, a plaintive and annoyed seriously from Billy and an unfortunate expletive from Tommy (which means yet one more lecture on language and perhaps mentioning the continued issue with Steve).

The density shifting assault continues until Wanda’s powers grow into an overwhelming frenzy, a long established cue for the next phase of the attack, the last henchman crumbling to the ground as Vision hovers, bringing his body horizontal and parallel to the ground. He flies directly towards his wife, phasing just as he reaches her, her body shivering at his passing through, and then he bursts from the cloud of scarlet, advancing on the necromancer and solidifying his body just in time to deliver a blow to the man’s chest, sending him backwards onto the ground. Scarlet ropes tether the man to the cement, Wanda sauntering up next to Vision, her hand dipping below his cape for a congratulatory squeeze, which kickstarts his body into an operantly conditioned response of turning towards his wife, his fingers tangling in her hair as he breathes in her essence, their mouths meeting and the world simply falling away.

Tommy’s irritated, “What are you doing here?” forces them to remember that they are here for a purpose.

A slow, easy step backwards angles Vision’s body towards the teens, their faces familiar from the files, their attributes and personalities clear in his head based on the stories the boys tell, but this is the first time meeting the members of the initiative. Half of them stand with arms crossed and perturbed stares, while the others form a spectrum from amused to curious to horrified (Billy, in this instance). “Captain Rogers assigned Wanda and myself to supervise your mission.”

Iron Lad, one of the arms-crossed cohort, and, from Vision’s understanding, the de facto leader, wades into the conversation. “Last I checked supervising’s not the same as intervening.”

“You are correct.”

Wanda’s hand brushes his shoulder, a tight smile on her face lets Vision know she wishes to handle the issue, and so he stops talking, acquiescing to her desire with a small nod. “We also had orders to step in if we felt you weren’t performing at your best.” She shrugs, it’s small, indifferent, but that is not the same as meek, the dismissive and authoritative tone of her voice setting the young heroes up to challenge her at their own risk, “You were nowhere near your best.”

The comment incites many displeased glares, a muttered bullshit from someone that better not have been Tommy, yet none of the young heroes immediately counter back. In the two second silence, Vision determines to utilize a softer approach meant to harmonize Wanda’s bluntness, a, as he has heard in the common lexicon, good-cop, bad-cop paradigm. “Why were,” Vision realizes they had not determined what to go by in the presence of Billy and Tommy’s compatriots, whether they remain causal with first names, go formal with Mr. and Mrs. Maximoff, or if they utilize hero names, for which his is no different than the casual but Wanda has some social distance. He determines to remain undecided and rely on pronouns and hand gestures to clarify the subjects of his sentence, “we able to subdue the foe far quicker than you?”

Cassie shrugs, gloved hand flinging out to the side to emphasize the obviousness of the response, “Because you’ve been heroes forever.”

A fair statement but not specific enough, so Vision tries the question from a more direct angle, “Though true, that is not sufficient to justify how we eliminated the threat in three minutes and thirty four seconds and you were unable to do so in the twenty eight minutes and fifty six seconds before our intervention.” The information might have a greater impact on them than Wanda’s prior words, if the increased gloom on their faces is an indication. “What actions did we take that differed from your own and thus contributed to our efficiency?”

“Listen,” Kate - or Hawkeye, as she has been passed the mantle from Clint, a surprise to everyone that it was not one of his own children to carry on the name (though that was a relief to Laura) - points her bow first at Vision and Wanda, “if I have to make-out with them,” the bow sweeps to the right to indicate the rest of the team, “to win a fight, I’m out.”

Sniggers follow her sardonic response, though Billy seems to be blanching at the turn in conversation, and then Cassie throws an arm over the archer’s shoulder, “You know I’m the best choice.”

“That,” Vision glances at Wanda, receiving an unhelpful shrug as the teens in front of them begin arguing over who would be the ideal makeout partner to end a fight, “that is not the,” the thing with having twin boys is that there is always arguing over which, sometimes, unfortunately, one must raise a voice to get attention back. What Vision failed to consider is the amplification of distracted chatter that would occur with numerous individuals of this age. “Wanda?”

A scarlet spark erupts in the middle of the group with a, “Pay attention.” The only two that look somewhat remorseful are Hulkling and Iron Lad, but at least the rest are quiet, mostly. “Making out has only ever won us three, maybe four fights. Plus,” a warning rings in her voice as Wanda moves her gaze across each of their faces, “only consensual making out during and after fights.”

“I-” Vision nods, trying to follow-up the comment but insteads cycles back to the original, “Yes, thank you. What tactical difference was there between your fight and ours?”

Being an Avenger has been Vision’s full-time job from his creation, one he has considered leaving, on occasion, but can never fully commit to such an enormous change. In this moment, with the silence thickening as elongated seconds pass and the group in front of him all seem interested in everything but him, he determines being a teacher is not in his future, his fingers growing antsy at the continued hush. But then Teddy meets his eyes, an unsure but hopeful smirk on his face as he raises his hand, “Yes, Hulkling?”

“Um, well, Vis- Mr. Maximoff?” At least he is not alone in his uncertainty of names, “Maybe we could have been more,” he lifts his hands, starting them far apart and swooping them until they meet, fingers clasped, “together in our attacks?”

Wanda sends them all a beaming, proud smile, “Yes, your teamwork and cohesiveness needs a lot of work.” Her arm loops through Vision’s, tugging him towards her until their sides are touching, “We trained over and over and over again on coordinated attacks, studied each others powers-”

A quiet, “And mouths,” comes from the archer but Wanda keeps moving without acknowledgement.

“It is rare that one person alone eliminates a threat.” She pauses, emphasizing the fact. “Figure out how to be a unit and you won’t have to be saved by us again.”

The words may sink in, they may not, none of the individuals in front of them betray their thoughts, until Iron Lad nods, lips arching downwards in thought. “I think we,” he turns to his teammates, “should go work on that.”

A chorus of sures and okays go along with the decision as the group starts to leave, Billy and Tommy hanging back, clearly torn between what to do, though Vision is not certain why. “So,” Billy interlaces his fingers while he haltingly proceeds with his thought, “can we go or do we have, you know, curfew?”

“I believe in this instance,” Vision mentally confirms his answer with Wanda before offering it to the boys, “you may be home later than usual.”

“Awesome.”

Once the boys are gone, the necromancer deposited safely in a containment cell awaiting a meeting with a judge in the morning, and they are back home, snuggled on the couch, Wanda nodding off on his chest as his hands work through her hair, he finally reaches a decision he had been waiting to make until he’d been able to process the evening. “They seem an admirable group.”

#scarlet vision #vision #wanda maximoff #billy kaplan #tommy shepherd #hulkling #cassie lang #iron lad #kate bishop #teddy #Young Avengers #the maximoffs #fanfic #mine #ask anon #seriously I don't really know anything about YA #so I hope this is somewhat accurate #this will probably be the last thing I write with the YA #thanks for the ask

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 2 Part 8

This is the last part !

Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey Thursday January 10 – Friday January 11

It was his last exam. The Dean's grandson finished it easily. He was sure to pass anyway. When he went out, he glimpsed Theo. The bastard was waiting for him. What the hell does he want ?

"Hey buddy." he said with a grin. "You have a minute ?"

"Make it thirty seconds, I don't have the fuckin' time to talk with you."

"Okay. I'll chase Liam after all. I want him."

"You want him."

You greedy pig. Fuckin' asshole. Dickhead. I don't know enough curses to qualify you. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey just smiled dangerously. This bally fucker.

"And why are you suddenly interested ? You failed month ago to get him."

"That's right, but I think I can be in luck now. I have some... advantage. And damn, he became so hot during christmas. Hunky but chunky. I love it. Sorry, you were too slow. He's mine now."

The blond lad just laughed. He laughed so loud that all the students around heard him.

"You're a little swaggerer Theophile. Are you seriously defying me ?"

"Hell yes."

Not that far ago, you were begging me just to have the right to suck my cock. You'll regret this overconfidence. Liam had faced a hunter way more dangerous than Theo. He survived to this Raphaël dude, he can beat a fucking swimteam captain like you too.

"You don't ask what's my plan ?" wondered the law student.

"Sorry but... since you're not a real opponent, I don't care." replied the Dean's grandson.

"Really ? Well, considering you're hunting him for more than one month now, I can only suppose you are rusty. Maybe the best hunter just failed. Maybe he isn't the best anymore."

"And maybe you are missing my dick so much you want it again ? Who knows ? I'm done with your bullshit for today. Bye."

The next morning came quickly. Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey didn't sleep well, because he and his spy Nancy made some research about Theo. And they discovered something really interesting and important. Maybe he have a fucking advantage after all. After that, Nancy and him had had sex, and so he had slept only four or five hours. Anyway, he got some business to make. The faster, the better. The Dean's grandson met Steve Callagan, the head of the music club, in his room. He had just finished a breakfast apparently. There were one thing or two to know about the guy. He was a watcher hunter. He loved to see two chicks or one guy one girl have sex. No gay tho. Never understood why. Two guys, two dicks, it can be funny. And Steve had, like Theo, an official girlfriend, the lovely Bettany. Her name is a porn in itself. Anyway, they were cute together, except Bettany was a chubby chaser and fattened the musician quite a bit. There're more people liking meaty partner than you would say at the first sigh. Myself included some time.

"You want something Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey ?" asked Steve when they were alone.

"I heard you had two tickets for this famous movie saturday. I want them." he commanded. "A porn tape in exchange ? I have recorded a lot of stuff during the holidays, including a sexy delivery girl. Exactly your taste."

"I'm sorry dude but... Matthew Davos from the swimteam already gave me a video of himself and this black runner chick. I took it against a concert ticket. And now Betty really wants to see the movie."

For god sake. Who care about a stupid black girl who looks like an elephant and a little thief ?

"Give me those ticket or I swear to god I'm going to find Bettany straight away and I'll fuck her so hard that she'll be unable to walk for a week. Then I'll be back there and you'll suck my fuckin' dick until you couldn't blow in this stupid tuba of yours. Okay ?"

And Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey got the tickets.

Liam Saturday Januray 12

When he finished his lenghts at the pool, the chestnut lad took a deep breath and went to see Colton. Exams were over and this afternoon, Dami invited him to see a movie. He hadn't much time to discuss with his friend, but he intented to help him as much as possible. But I hope he'll not talk about my past... Colton was currently stretching. Normally, Christmas was the perfect time to be slacking a bit. (Liam did. He had lost a bit of definition but he was working out again now). (It might be the reason why all those girls were accosting him at the gym or the pool). (But he always tried to avoid them, because he suspected the witch to be among the crowd). Anyway, Colton as for him was as handsome as ever. Well-built, not too strong, not too thin. He hadn't the single bit of fat on him. (To Liam, it was a lost, but whatever).

"Hey buddy." started the chestnut lad. "How went your exams ?"

"Good I think." replied his friend. "But I wasn't as focused as I wanted to."

"Why that ?"

Liam decided to play it dumb. It was better than talking about Leila who had threatened him. (She was the evil twin, obviously).

"Barbara cheated on me, and then she left me." Colton confessed with sadness. "She said it was better this way."

Of course, the dark-haired lad was too diplomat to say something mean. He had a sweet tone, even when he announced bad news. Liam suspected him to be half teddy bear. (Teddies Bears were alive, yes, and sometimes they sent a child in the human's world). Anyway, the lad was disgressing. He was here to help his friend.

"Maybe I can do something about it ?" he asked. "Wait, did you said she cheated on you ?"

(Yeah, it took a long time before Liam realised what it meant).

"She didn't say with who, but I'm guessing someone important at the university, cuz right after, she became the future head of the student union. When this girl, Summer, will finish her mandate, they will present Barbara as their favourite candidate. Anyway, I think we can't do much about this. I'm going to swim now, see you later."

Well, she liked to be the class delegate in highschool after all... Liam had suddenly an idea. He could probably know who was the guy in question. He just had to ask Dami. (He was pretty sure this one was important for the university). (He once had said something about the Dean, but Liam didn't remenber well). And then, maybe he could work on something.

Speaking of the devil, he met Dami on the early afternoon for a movie. His blond friend carried with him a bag filled with something, but he didn't say what. They entered in the theater and took their sit.

"You'll see, it's a good movie." assured Dami. "And there, I cooked this. Tell me if you like it."

He offered a cake. Two month ago, Liam would have declined. (At least try, because his friend had some authority). But now, he glady ate it. The film went like this. It really was good. And the chestnut lad consumed everything Dami gave him. He just didn't realised how much it was. There were all kind of pastries, crusty and spongy, with cream, jam or chocolate. In Liam mind, they were both eating peacefully. Yet, at some point he discreetly slipped a hand beneath his shirt and rubbed his belly. He was rather bloated. (It didn't stop him to eat whatever Dami offered tho). Eventually, he realised his tum was very swollen. Looks like I'm stuffed. I ate more than I thought. For a moment, Dami stopped. The movie was almost over when something happen. But Liam didn't realised it happen until the end. When he was about to stand up, he noticed his friend was holding his free hand. Oh.

"I asked you if it was fine." whispered the blond lad. "And you said nothing."

His eyes were showing a mix of excitment and cautiousness. Liam hesitated a second. What does this mean exactly ? Maybe Nate is right. Maybe Dami saw this as a date. But was it a problem ? Liam didn't know the answer at this question. He soflty took his hand off.

"Don't worry, I'm okay with it." he said. "Can you tell me something ?"

His friend frowned, but nodded.

"You probably know Barbara Henrion ? Is there a chance you know who slept with her and offered her a favor afterwards ?"

"She had sex with Javier Esposito, the vice-president of the student union." answered quickly Dami. "This one told me about this. But you know, they're all sleeping with each other in this union."

"Well thank you. And thank you for the movie and the snacks. You really are an awesome chef dude. I have to go to work now so... see you soon."

Liam then joined the night shift of Pasta's Place, as usual. The work happened to be a bit difficult with a full belly, but he managed to do well. Judy checked on him at least ten times. She said he must be careful at everytime of the night and the day. According to her, there was some guy who might corrupt him. (Liam supposed she was referring to some minions sent by the forces of chaos). Anyway, before going to bed, the lad called Nate. Luckily, this one wasn't partying this time, just chillin' at his place. They rapidly talked about Dami, obviously.

"To my opinion, you should give it a try." suggested his bestfriend. "I mean, you deserve a bit of happiness after all what happened. And I think you're ready now, you got enough time since your ex. Plus Damian sounds cool."

"I don't know man. Maybe I'll ruin everything like last time. I don't feel confident yet..."

"Dude, you were in highschool, it was your very first relationship with another boy and he had a lot of issue on his own." reminded Nate. "Damian is two years older than you. He's certainly more mature. It'll be different. It has to be."

Liam nodded slowly. As always, his soulmate was right. But he needed to go slowly. I mean, I don't know Dami that much after all... I must take my time.

"I bet you nodded." whispered Nate. "You know I can't see you through the phone right ?"

Rebecca Monday January 14 LAST PART

She never thought things would change like this, in such a short amount of time. Emilio didn't show up ever again. Of course, she still met him during the University's training. But he avoided her. Bob noticed, but said nothing. In fact, there was one thing her coach didn't know. Rebecca was now dating Matthew. Like Chelsea. They were both with him. It's a nonsense but I don't know. I feel good with him. He was kind, way more than she thought. He also was protective. She felt at ease with him. And god know how supportive he was. When she had been dating Emilio, they were used to talk about running. But he had never encouraged her like Matt did. Chelsea and her were the best among the team, and he was proud of it. He didn't hide his love for both of them. And the weirdest thing ? Sex with the blond lad and Chelsea was awesome. Way different than everything she had try before. The man led the ride, and she was glad with it. I know it only has been six days since we started but... I wonder why I hated him in the first place. He had admitted he was jealous of her at first but it had evolved in feelings for her. So basically, Matthew had a crush and regretted what he had done so he decided to help her. And now they were dating, the three of them together. It was weird, but Rebecca wasn't disliking it.

This evening, during the swim training, she couldn't stop herself staring at her new boyfriend. His tight swimsuit highlighted his handsome body. She had learnt he was 182 cm (6'0") for quite a chunky 77 kg (170 lbs). He was muscular but thick, and she loved it. Liam and Theo might be the only in the pool who could rivalise, despite being both thinner.

"You're looking at Matt with a lot of admiration." pointed out Laura. "Maybe you wanna told me somethin' ?"

"Not really. I was just watching."

"Yeah, watching eh." laughed the petite blonde. "You know, since you broke up with Emilio, you can find another man but... Matthew is with Chelsea. And not your type to be honest. A bit too cocky I think."

"You must be right."

It was what she had thought at the beginning of the year. But he saved her from Emilio. And she liked his confidence eventually. He wasn't a bad guy. Laura continued :

"Anyway, I have another topic to talk about... Promise me you won't be mad."

"Who can against you ? You're so lovely."

"Thanks for that. So... I know things aren't fine between Nick and you. And at first, I thought it was none of my business but... I can stand it anymore. I think you're wrong, since the very outset. I mean, he helped you on several occasion, and yeah, he's a smart aleck, but he was always there for you. And you, what did you do exactly ?"

Rebecca opened her mouth but... nothing came out. She had no good excuse. I was just too proud to admit I was wrong. Their argument started when she had tried to change him. I did that in order to make him conform to my standards. It's not fair.

"You're right." she admitted. "The blame is on me. But what should I do now ? Our friendship is completely over. And you know what ?"

"Hum ?"

"I don't care anymore. Before, when I dated Emilio, I felt guilty but not anymore. I think I understood how works the college society."

"Really ?"

"Hunt, or be hunted, as simple as that." Rebecca affirmed. "I found a pack, and now, I'm ready to be on the hunter side. Nick isn't my concern anymore."

To be continued

And so here we are...

Congratulations Rebecca, you’re now a hunter ! She’s free from Emilio and she found something meaningful for her. Let’s say she’s perfectly fitting in the College Society now ;)

As for Liam well, seems like feeding him was the good choice ! What can make him happier than a full tummy I wonder ? But Damian can still screw this up for sure... And the war with Theo only begins !

Like last time, The College Society will be on hiatus for two or three weeks. Chapter 3 will be longer, and we’ll have a new character POV !

In the meantime, you can read To the Perfection, my other weight gain story !

#the college society #cs #Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey #Liam #Rebecca #stuffing #Liam's heart IS his stomach #Last chapter of Rebecca #Goodbye girl #chapter 2 #part 8

[maddcastle]

maddmusic reference

this is what i use, i’m only sharing what i experience as i experience it. it might me different for everyone, but i hope this helps 💙

COPING WITH BEING A MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMER ITSELF + FEELINGS OF ISOLATION AND/OR LONELINESS * paradise / coldplay * oh ms believer / twenty one pilots * soon / thumbelina * astronaut / simple plan

LOST PARAS/MOURNING/GRIEVING/PARACOSMIC NOSTALGIA * how does a moment last forever (montmartre) * shouldn’t come back / demi lovato * dark paradise / lana del rey [warning: this song tends to trigger extremely depressing daydreams, i only resort to this when i’m already feeling significantly sad) * colors (stripped) / halsey * the house that built me / miranda lambert * danny boy / declan galbraith (can be interpreted as parent and child or separated sweethearts relationship) * bottom of the ocean / miley cyrus * talking to the moon / bruno mars * never grow up / taylor swift *

SAD ROMANCE + BITTERSWEET LOVE + WORKING IT OUT * sorry / halsey * almost is never enough / ariana grande ft. nathan skyes * just give me a reason / p!nk and nate ruess * wildest dreams / taylor swift * need you now / lady antebellum * the heart wants what it wants / selena gomez * she will be loved / maroon 5 * hey there delilah / plain white t’s * what to do / demi lovato * the last time / taylor swift ft. gary lightbody * someone like you / adele * back to december / taylor swift * cosmic love / florence and the machine * heart attack / demi lovato * daylight / maroon 5

FALLING IN LOVE + HAPPY ROMANCE * mirrors / justin timberlake * summertime sadness / lana del rey * look at me / carrie underwood * love alone / katelyn tarver * if you told me to / hunter hayes * come on get higher / matt nathanson * when i look at you / miley cyrus * wanted / hunter hayes * everything has changed / taylor swift ft. ed sheeran * a thousand years / christina perri * all of me / john legend * catch me / demi lovato * fearless / taylor swift * marry you / bruno mars * begin again / taylor swift * i see the light / tangled * young love / kip moore * death of a bachelor / panic! at the disco * ours / taylor swift * let me be your wings / thumbelina * more than miles / brantley gilbert * a year without rain / selena gomez * bright / echosmith * state of grace / taylor swift * without you / lana del rey [warning: comes with feelings of dependence on paras, may break the fourth wall] * drive / halsey * starlight / taylor swift * if i lose myself / onerepublic * salvatore / lana del rey * can’t help falling in love / ingrid michaelson or twenty one pilots or céline dion or elvis (the original singer) * malibu / miley cyrus

LUST + PASSION + NONVIOLENT SEXUAL VIBES + SEXUALLY CHARGED RELATIONSHIP * treacherous / taylor swift * pillowtalk / zayn * take me to church / hozier (especially sinful vibes with this one, watch out) * wildfire / demi lovato * casual affair / panic! at the disco * lust for life / lana del rey (seriously recommend this song, not only is it aesthetically pleasing and sexy but it’s also full of hope and general positive inspiration) * miss jackson / panic! at the disco * criminal / britney spears * crazy in love / sofia karlburg or beyoncé * stars dance / selena gomez *

HEARTBREAK + AFTERMATH/END OF A LOVE STORY + ROMANTIC REGRET (NONVIOLENT) * already gone / kelly clarkson * jar of hearts / christina perri * paper doll / john mayer * goodbye / miley cyrus * mine would be you / blake shelton * when i was your man / bruno mars

FEELING LOW/DIRTY/DEPRESSED + UNHEALTHY TEMPTATIONS * hold me down / halsey * ballad of mona lisa / panic! at the disco * gasoline / halsey * teen idle / marina and the diamonds * SAIL / AWOLNATION * habits / tove lo * chandelier / sia

ABUSE + VIOLENCE + TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS + HURTS TO LOVE YOU * set fire to the rain / adele * trouble / halsey * grenade / bruno mars * wild one / i am harlequin * nicotine / panic! at the disco * dear john / taylor swift * stay / rihanna ft. mikky ekko * i’m low on gas and you need a jacket / pierce the veil (super emo, suicidal vibes, highly emotional and poetic lyrics) * love the way you lie / rihanna (there are 2 parts, i personally prefer part 2) * teddy bear / melanie martinez (her music generally tends to focus on children’s lifestyle which can be creepy and seem pedophilic and i have mixed feelings about her but this one is kinda okay. just warning you in case you’re sensitive to it) * dollhouse / melanie martinez (same with this one, i actually really like this one) * cold as you / taylor swift

RECOVERING FROM ABUSE/TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS + RECOVERING FROM GENERAL DEPRESSIVE STATE (can also work non-madd) * clean / taylor swift * i’m not a robot / marina and the diamonds * if i die young / the band perry (it’s a reminder of the aftermath of suicide) * warrior / demi locator * human / cher lloyd * human / christina perri (they’re different songs) * fight song / rachel platten * try / colbie caillat (on female body image and standards) * scars to your beautiful / alessia cara (also female body image and standards) * wide awake / katy perry * saturn / sleeping at last * lovely / twenty one pilots * carry on / fun

YOU’RE MY HOME + FAMILY OF FRIENDS + PLATONIC ROMANCE + JUST HANGING OUT (with a hint of friends with benefits) * sweater weather / the neighborhood * love / lana del rey * she looks so perfect / 5 seconds of summer * team / lorde * we are young / fun * this is what makes us girls / lana del rey * tennis court / lorde * 22 / taylor swift * LA devotee / panic! at the disco * holy ground / taylor swift * forest / twenty one pilots * royals / lorde * new romantics / taylor swift * i’m yours / jason mraz * house of gold / twenty one pilots * castle on the hill / ed sheeran

ASCENDANCE + FEMME FATALE + FEELING POWERFUL/DANGEROUS * castle / halsey * how to be a heartbreaker / marina + the diamonds * heathens / twenty one pilots * blank space / taylor swift * dangerous woman / ariana grande * control / halsey * can’t be tamed / miley cyrus * national anthem / lana del rey * primadonna girl / marina and the diamonds * centuries / fall out boy * emperor’s new clothes / panic at the disco * circus / britney spears * music to watch boys to / lana del rey * defying gravity / idina menzel * homewrecker / marina and the diamonds * off to the races / lana del rey

—

an extra bit of advice:

-follow up a series of dark/sad themes with a few happier themes -try not to engage in the violent/depressing themes, but i know sometimes it’s just too hard to resist, so when you just *have* to daydream violence and the like, if it gets too intense for your health, cut off the music, take a little break, put on a happier song even if you don’t feel like listening to one yet -please turn the volume down, darling -drink water!! take breaks -if you cry, it’s okay

i hope this helps!! sorry to the boys, these are mostly directed @ girls cause i’m a girl and so is my parame :// if you’d like to request more themes, drop them in my inbox or leave a comment and i’ll see what i can do for you!!

#maladaptive daydreaming only #maddmusic #actuallymadd #madd #mine #maddwinter #madd playlist #anika does maddmusic