#and whyd you only call me when youre high by the arctic monkeys | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lonelyyinchicago · 2 years

Text

“now it’s three in the morning and i’m trying to change your mind. left you multiple missed calls and to my message you reply: why’d you only call me when you’re high?”

//cw: alcohol, drug use//

number twelve grimmauld place was dark and seemingly empty when regulus woke up. he sat up slowly, pushing his dark curls away from his eyes. he ran a couple of pale fingers over his cheek, feeling the indentations from the cushion he’d been lying on.

the sofa in the main living room was firm leather, usually cold to touch but regulus curled himself into a tight ball, his head leaning on the arm, propped up against a cushion. he uncoiled his limbs, stretching as he blinked, his dark eyes adjusting to the dimness that had taken over the room.

the curtains were still as he’d left them - slightly parted, although now it was moonbeams breaking into the room rather than sunlight. the fire had died, evidently a while ago as the ashes were cold when regulus lowered his hand to it. he let the soft powdery substance fall through his fingers, creating clouds as it hit the hard stone surface of the hearth.

he jumped, his hand flying to hold his heart as the door creaked open. he spun around to watch as the door opened, and squinted, unable to identify who was pushing it. his eyes dropped lower as a slight shuffling sound reached his ears and he saw kreacher slowly making his way towards him.

he bent down on one knee as the elf approached.

“master, you are awake” the elf said, his voice as raspy as ever.

“yes” regulus said not unkindly. “i am. now, do we have anything to drink?”

“always sir” the elf said, turning to lead the way towards the kitchen.

regulus stood up and crossed the room to close the curtains fully before following the elf. the walk to the kitchen was dim as regulus refused to light any of the lamps along the main hall. since his parents had died the house had remained dark. an odd sort of laziness had taken over regulus as his life lost its sense of organisation it had clung so desperately to during his hogwarts years.

he slumped into the nearest chair at the long wooden table, his head falling onto his crossed arms in front of him. a tap on his knee made him sit up, and he offered kreacher a weak smile as a bottle of wine was placed in front of him. he promptly removed the cork and wrapped his lips around the opening of the bottle, his hand gripping the neck of the bottle so tightly his knuckles turned white.

kreacher turned back around in surprise, the wine glass he had been about to place on the table shattering on the floor. regulus looked down at him disdainfully before standing up suddenly and heading up to his room.

he passed the portrait of his mother on his way, silencing her before she even had the opportunity to start shouting. the clock on the wall of the first floor landing informed him that it was coming up to half past two in the morning. he groaned, holding a hand up to his forehead as he continued up the stairs.

he threw himself onto his bed, the old mattress creaking slightly. he rolled over, staring blankly at the wall. the sound of kreacher clearing up the broken shards of glass reached regulus’ ears and he pulled the pillow out from underneath him and held it over his ears. the sound was immediately muffled but regulus sat up quickly, his nose raised as a scent he hadn’t smelt for a few years filled his nose.

the red sleeve of an old gryffindor quidditch jumper dangled out of the pillowcase, the gold threading at the edge of the sleeve glowing softly as it got caught in the faint moonlight that was breaking into the room. regulus tentatively held it, pulling it out fully until it collapsed in a crumpled heap on the mattress in front of him.

he tightened his grip on the wine bottle as his spare hand gently brushed over the sweater, his pale fingers tracing the name ‘potter’. a single tear escaped regulus’ dark eyelashes, and he pushed it off his cheek aggressively. his hand fell back onto the soft material, his fist curling around a handful.

regulus sniffed loudly, breaking the silence that the house had become so familiar with. he leant forward, pressing his face into the thick material. it had held the strong scent of james for over two years and regulus clutched the jumper tightly.

he placed the now empty bottle of wine on his bedside table, his hand brushing the phone already there. he stopped, his hand hovering over the handle. as his hand closed around it, regulus quickly let it go, as if he’d received an electric shock. he brought his left hand back into his body, the tip of a dark snake tongue poking out of the edge of his sleeve.

he squeezed his eyes shut, his head falling heavily against the headboard. his hand silently found the handset, his fingers slowly running over the plastic framework. with his eyes still closed, regulus dialled the number with ease. his fingers dialled almost with instinct, not needing to check whether it was right number.

regulus waited in the dark, the repetitive sound of the dial tone echoing around the quiet room. he left the handset on the top of the duvet, his fingers rolling a tight a joint as he sat in the dark. a faint glow lit up a small portion of the room from the end of the join and when the line finally connected, regulus jumped, his breathing momentarily halted.

he watched the smoke dissipate before raising the phone to his ear with a shaking hand. his eyes closed as the smoke warmed his throat and the voice of james potter trickled into his ear.

“james?”

regulus’ voice cracked slightly, the end of james’ name turning into a hoarse whisper. met with silence, regulus squeezed a tear out of his grey eyes. they were still soft, the emotion was gentle, as though they’d already given up.

james stood up, the cord of the phone intertwined between his fingers. he was fidgeting with it nervously, feeling lily’s eyes on the back of his head.

“stop calling.”

“ja-”

regulus was blinking back tears, his words slurred. james’ tone wasn’t harsh, wasn’t aggressive, but it was still distant. even with the phone pressed hard against his ear, regulus could feel the distance.

“jame-”

“who is it?” lily asked, looking up at james from the bed. she had propped her self up on her elbow, her head tilted and her ginger curls falling around her cheeks.

james shook his head, avoiding the question. he ran a quick hand through his hair, fiddling with the dark tufts as regulus’ tears dripped continuously through the phone.

“go to sleep. put out the cigarette and go to sleep” james told him, guessing correctly that regulus would never have rung sober.

“i want you t-”

“i can’t do anything for you anymore, reg” james said, dropping his voice slightly so lily didn’t hear the name. “not until you help yourself.”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO” regulus broke out suddenly. “i don’t, i don’t know-”

james jumped at the increase in volume, the phone slipping from his grip. he let go, leaving the phone dangling on the wire.

“who was it?” lily repeated, craning her neck to see james yanking on a jacket. “and where are you going?”

“i’ll be back soon” james assured her, moving round to her side of the bed and leaning down to press a kiss onto the top of her head. “i promise.”

lily fell back onto the pillows, her eyes closing immediately. regulus stared at the now silent handset, cursing himself as james apparated straight onto the front steps of number twelve grimmauld place. he knocked harshly on the front door which was eventually opened by kreacher.

james brushed past him, making his way easily down the hall. walburga started shouting as he past and james turned back to face her, his wand drawn. regulus blinked confusedly, his movements slow as the sound of his mother’s screams reaching him on the second floor.

he stumped out the joint on his bedside table, etching a burn mark on wood. he picked up his wand and the bottle of wine as he made his way into out the corridor. with his on the floor and his head spinning, it took regulus a couple of minutes to realise there were two voices, shouting with equal ferocity.

“silencio” he mumbled, aiming his wand roughly in the direction of the portrait. he raised his head, his grey eyes finding james’ soft brown ones in surprise.

“wha-?”

“hey,” james started gently.

he stepped forward, his hand outstretched. he prised the virtually empty bottle of wine from the ex-seeker’s fingers which were still warm from the joint. with nothing to hold onto to anymore, regulus collapsed, falling heavily against james’ strong body.

“okay, come on.”

james half-carried regulus into the living room, laying him down on the unmoved pillow from earlier in the night. james perched precariously on the edge of the sofa, his hand carefully adjusting the dark curls that had ended up strewn across the pale face. regulus eyes fluttered closed in comfort, his face filling james’ hand.

james looked down at him, conflicted. he stood up and backed out of the room after placing a small kiss on regulus’ nose. james squeezed his eyes shut as he apparated again, running his hand over his mouth, holding the taste of regulus in place.

#harry potter #regulus black #james potter #lily evans #jegulus #jily #arctic monkeys #whyd you only call me when youre high

17 notes · View notes