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anakin-skywalker-always · 8 months

Note

padawan/atoc era anakin x reader, they're in love with each other (both jedi) but obviously can't come forward. Anakin confides in Padmé, reader becomes convinced/jealous that anakin is with padme

(bonus points if you can make it angsty and fluffy)

As Easy As Breathing

Hi nonnie! Thank you so, so, so much for this rec! It’s my first one on this account and it’s really quite the christening. Hope its okay, I’m not the best at angst!

Pairing: Padawan!Anakin Skywalker x Padawan!Reader (Star Wars)

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: none!! Should be all good, let me know if you caught anything I may have missed. Not beta read!

Words: 1.8k

Author’s Notes: Anakin is canonically 19 in AOTC, reader is the same, maybe a year younger. Clone Wars have not yet started in this fic, I’m just assuming Padmé and Anakin stayed besties after the whole nonsense in Phantom Menace.

The warm sun filtering through the windows fell upon Anakin’s face, in a soft moment of solitude, the sounds of the Coruscant cityscape provided him with a brief reprieve to Padmé’s chastising. He often thought that his ability to talk to Padmé about anything was his strength, but in this moment he couldn’t help to think of it as a weakness. Anakin cringed as Padmé continued to berate him; On a rare afternoon off the nineteen-year-old padawan found himself lounging on the senator’s couch.

“Seriously Anakin, you should just-” Padmé stilled, her slender hands finding her hips, huffing, she continued, “Are you even listening to me, Ani?” The forceful tone on his nickname got Anakin’s attention once again.

“I am!” Anakin raised his eyebrows in addition to his hands, in mock surrender. “I swear Padmé!”

The senator found it easy to roll her eyes at his antics, like always. But she could see the change in Anakin, could see how his emotions for his fellow padawan learner have caused conflict in him. Her friend wasn’t sleeping, he wasn’t eating. Padmé knew Anakin was an intense person, a strong personality, everyone knew that about him. But this, this was different. He seemed lost, like he was missing something he needed to operate. Padmé found her way to the couch, sitting beside Anakin, grabbing his tanned, calloused hands in her own.

“Anakin, if you do truely care this strongly for her, you must tell her.” Anakin’s eyes found Padmé’s own. “It would be cruel, to withhold this love.” There was a time in Anakin’s life where this is all he wanted, being with Padmé and he knew his nine-year-old self would be so excited by innocent hand holding. But his nineteen-year-old self was happier to have such a strong, nonjudgemental friend.

“How did you know that you loved Sabé?” Anakin asked gently, knowing how the senator safeguarded her relationship with her handmaiden fiercely.

Anakin noted how Padmé seemed to glow at the mention of her lover. A warm smile graced her pink lips, eyes crinkling at the sides, a faraway glaze coated her sparkling eyes. Her signature in the force felt warm, it wrapped around Anakin’s brain, made him feel safe. Padmé’s love for Sabé was so tangible it extended outside herself, adjusting her force signature.

“I realised I loved Sabé when being around her became a necessity, an honesty, a truth that I did not know I was constantly seeking out.” Padmé gushed, a light trail of pink lit itself over her high cheekbones and freckled nose. “I felt as if Sabé had breathed new life into me everytime I saw her, it was natural, it was right.”

Anakin was quiet for a moment, Padmé became worried that she had overstepped somehow, projected to far onto Anakin’s feelings.

“Loving y/n is as natural as breathing.” He replied.

Anakin rolled over on his hard, standard issue, Jedi temple bed. A sleepless night was not uncommon for him, but this felt inherently different. Padmé’s words from earlier in the day rattled around his brain, demanding to be dealt with. Anakin never saw love as a weakness, never saw attachment as weakness. How could he? Love was the basis of the light, the well of Jedi power that Anakin drew from was a labour of love, was purity, was peace, was built with empathy and centered by knowing himself. His love for you did not make him a bad person.

But he knew it would make him seem like a bad Jedi.

Not knowing your stance on him, on the rule of attachment was slowly eating away at Anakin’s peace.

Groaning aloud, Anakin ran his hands down his face.

Your head whipped around, anxiously. You knew it was embarrassing that you always looked for him in a crowded room, but you could not help it, you felt as if the force was electric until he calmed it. His signature singlehandedly smothering anything else it came in contact with. Being around Anakin, to you, felt as natural as breathing.

“Looking for young Skywalker, are you?” Your master, Mace Windu asks, a small smirk whispers across his face, lightly nudging you in the shoulder. The two of you stood in one of the reception rooms of the Republic building. The Senate was hosting a charity gala with the invite extending to the Jedi temple. So, there you stood, in your best robes, breaking your neck to catch a glimpse of The Chosen One.

“No Master.” You said, quietly. Turning your head away from the powerful Jedi Master to not embarrass yourself further with the luxury of him catching your furious blush. Your master excused himself, laughing, finding Master Plo Kloon.

So, you stood there, alone, foolishly searching the room for your fellow padawan, the one that consumed your mind and soul.

It wasn’t completely unlikely, you reasoned with yourself. You and Anakin were friends, were very well matched, sparring partners. But, Anakin was a good Jedi. A strong Jedi. Following orders wasn’t Anakin’s strongest suit, you’d admit. Pondering whether he would disregard the rules of attachment for you, however, was different.

Nonetheless, like a junkie craving death sticks, you craved Anakin’s presence, his force signature was all you needed to feel right. The anxiety of the gala was too much. Closing your eyes, tightly, you reached out into the force to find him. Anakin’s signature, golden like it always was flocked to your senses, like always.

Opening your eyes, you began to weave through the bustling crowd as quickly as one could who was masquerading as casual.

“I’m not going to say anything to her now, Padmé.” Anakin huffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms across his chest, defensively. “Not in front of all these people, you’ve got to be joking.” He scoffed.

Sabé giggled quietly, the two women joined their arms at the elbow. Padmé just rolled her eyes at Anakin’s supposed insoclence.

Your frame weaving through the crowd in his direction caught Anakin’s eye. He smiled, quikly raised a hand, and was delighted when your devastating smile echoed back.

“Anakin.” You greeted him, with a small bow of the head. His name sounded heavenly whenever you deigned to let it fall from your lips. Anakin was convinced he could breathe easier with you around, like he had been purged of something suffocating him.

“Y/N, this is Sen-” You quickly cut him off, not wanting to hear the name of your rival come from his beautiful mouth. Your jealousy that you held for Padmé reared its ugly head, and you couldn’t help to feel shame burn deep inside the space between ribs.

“Senator Amidala, a pleasure it is to finally meet you,” You stuck your hand out, awkwardly hoping for a handshake. “Anakin has told me so much.” Cordial. It was a good tactic. You were a good person, a good jedi. You would not succumb to jealousy. Besides, Padmé had other qualities you were far more jealous of than just her nonexistent romantic relationship that you deludedly conjured up in your mind when you tried to sleep at night.

“All good things I should hope.” She smiled, her soft hand finding your own, a small shake. You could empathise with Anakin for falling in love with someone like her. Someone so intelligent, powerful, beautiful.

It was not lost on you, the way the senator’s hand quickly found the one of the woman she stood beside.

“This is Sabé.” Anakin started, introducing Padmé’s guest. “Padmé’s hand-” For the second time tonight, but surely not the last, Anakin was cut off.

“My partner.” Senitor Amidala said firmly, though her eyes twinkled with pride. Sabé’s own shock manifested itself into a wide smile. The two looked eachother in the eyes and you couldn’t help but feel silly. Of course. Of course.

For whatever reason, the words you thought you had died swiftly in your mouth, “Oh.” was all you managed to get out. “A pleasure to meet you too, Sabé.” You tried quickly to save the situation, to save embarrassment. But Padmé’s slight smile, Sabé’s coy smirk. You felt like the two Naboo women knew you, saw you. They somehow, in this embarrassing blunder of a meeting had already clocked that you harboured feelings for Anakin Skywalker. It made you feel foolish, moreso than what you already did.

“If you’d excuse us, Jedi, we have futher business to attend to.” Sabé quipped strongly, leading her senator lover to the next group of politicians. The art of smalltalk was something else you could add to the list of Padmé’s items you were jealous of.

Anakin turned to you, chuckling. His standard-issue Jedi robes moving effortlessly with his chest. Running a hand through his cropped hair, you felt his eyes scanning your face. You knew your blood would betray you, like it so often did around your friend, rising to the surface of your cheeks, splattering down your neck and chest. Embarrassment clung to you like a rash.

“Don’t mind them, they like setting me up.” Anakin scoffed, shaking his head.

“Setting you up for what?” You asked, eyeing him micheviously. Chatting with Anakin felt natural; He was quick witted and liked challenging you, he was a tease.

And, more often than not, a flirt.

This was different though, Anakin had an air of nervousness about him. You noticed as your fellow padawan’s large, veiny hands found the way to the back of his neck, rubbing sheepishly.

“Oh you know…” He trailed off, looking everywhere except for your eyes, his own blue ones scanning the ornate ceiling of the reception room. “Setting us up to be alone together.” He admitted, squinting as if the words bought him some kind of physical pain.

You quirked a brow, your arms quickly crossing your chest - a defensive stance. “Would that be so bad? Being alone together?” The words meant to be teasing, non-serious. But it was too late, the seed was planted in Anakin’s brain.

To him, that felt like an admission of sorts, an admission that you wanted him as much as he wanted you. Well, if he squinted it seemed like that.

In a tender moment, something rare for Anakin, he reached out. Tucking stray hairs behind your ear, gently following your padawan braid around the cusp of it.

“You know, y/n, that I want nothing more,” He smiled. It was pure, and real. You felt the sincerity in the force, the truth within him. Moreso, you felt your ear burn from the brief contact, felt your heart swell in your chest at the mere thought of being alone in close quarters with him. “I want nothing more than to be alone with you.”

He retracted his hand, but you still felt alight with his closeness. His force signature felt palpable, you were enraptured in his warmth. He was golden. Your golden boy.

“Why don’t we go get lost then?” You whispered, scared anything too loud would betray your eagerness. Anakin’s smile split across his face, eyes crinkling and dimples showing. Smirking he placed a strategic hand at the low of your back. He was so incredibly tall, bending over you to whisper back,

“After you, my lady.”

—--

AN: Hehe all done! Left it open for more if you wanted, but teasing enough to be left as it is! Hope it’s alright and I hope you could enjoy at least some of it <3

P.S This is a side account, my main is @mayhemories, so I will be answering any comments with that account but rest assured it is still me :) <3

Much love, El.

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leviathanspain · 11 months

Note

anakin smut? where reader is having sexual fantasies about him and he can… feel… it ?🫣

ashamed

anakin skywalker x reader

smut

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you were loud. at least your thoughts were. anakin heard everything, from what you were going to eat for breakfast, to what clothes you’d wear to training.

anakin almost missed it. a small, fleeting thought that meaninglessly floated around in your head, and right into his.

he looks good today..

your thoughts had been heard before he even saw you, and as he turned, there you were, not even looking at him.

anakin’s mouth pulled back into a smirk and he continued to walk, not even bothering to greet you.

it was hard being around him. training had just finished and all you wanted was him. seeing his muscles under those training clothes had left you more than hot and bothered.

you were ravenous.

a jedi was never supposed to engage in any relationships. but it didn’t mean you couldn’t fantasize about it.

you laid on your bed, body worn out after all that training, anakin would be home soon, and he would want to unwind by using you. your body for his, you were willing to let him do whatever he wanted to you.

“hey babe..” his voice trilled as the door shut behind him, carefully you watched him, greeting him back with a smile. but he knew what kind of smile that was, and he was already unbuckling his pants as he walked up.

“what’s wrong?” he had noticed the way you didn’t move off the bed, the way you looked a little breathless. you shrugged slightly, “tough day training.”

anakin’s eyebrows rose, “oh.” you nodded, a small sigh escaping your lips. anakin neared the bed, crawling up by your legs, “maybe i can make you feel better.”

anakin stopped mid sentence. he could taste it. taste something, familiar yet wildly different. anakin dismissed himself from the room full of his superiors and instead went out into the empty hall.

he could feel it. you.

it was you.

anakin inhaled sharply as he felt something graze his crotch, a hand that wasn’t even physically there.

and there was that taste again.

“oh ani..” you moaned out, your words echoed into the room and anakin growled softly, tugging at himself as he lined up with your hole. he had been taking care of you for almost an hour now, fucking you with his mouth until you screamed his name.

now he promised that you wouldn’t dare to forget it.

anakin was slumped down in his room. he had left upon feeling his pants tighten with the size of his erection. now all he could do was trade reality for fantasy as he felt everything you had thought.

he felt it all, and it all left him wanting the real thing. if that’s how you thought about him…

“anakin! don’t stop!” you cried out, gripping his forearms as he thrusted into you, your head crashing into the wall behind you, you groaned softly, “fuck..”

you were writhing on your bed, eyes closed as you let your fantasy play out.

“oh ani!”

a knock suddenly broke your thoughts and you turned, embarrassed, but you got up, knowing they would have no way of knowing what you had been doing.

picturing your jedi master in that way? incred-

“anakin!” the unexpected sight of him at the door, sweating, disheveled, and his robes barely hanging on, he stomped into the room before you could even ask why he was there.

“why didn’t you tell me you wanted me to fuck you?” there it was. it was like nails on a chalkboard.

“what?” your face got red immediately, heat burned on it and you laughed weakly, closing the door, you walked over to him, but you kept your distance, “what are you talking about?”

anakin rolled his eyes, “don’t try and lie to me. i could hear you, i could feel you. i need this to end-“ your face turned into a grimace and you closed your eyes with absolute shock at the revelation, “just let me fuck you. i cant-“ anakin pulled his robes back and highlighted his cock, which was fighting the fabric.

you stared at anakin, “but-“

anakin didn’t even bother to say anything more as he pulled you into his arms, kissing you swiftly as he threw you down.

“don’t be ashamed.”

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oliviajdjarin · 1 year

Text

Din Djarin: Languid

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader (she/her; afab)

Excerpt: “Can we do this now?” he asked, resting his nose against your cheek. His breaths coated your face. “Please?”

You smiled, burying your hands in his hair. Your eyes drifted closed in bliss. “Yes, Din. I want you. Right now.”

He kissed your cheek and placed your hands back on his armor. “Please get this off of me, and please keep me awake.”

And you did.

Warnings: sleepy, love-filled sex between a married couple. Wife!reader, grogu’s asleep, unprotected sex, mostly just kissing and feeling up. NOT breeding kink. A bit of cockwarming.

A/N: Once again, Happy Dincember everyone. I cannot explain how grateful I am for almost 3,000 followers without crying.

If you’d like to leave a like, comment, ask, or reblog, it would be much appreciated :)

Pedro Masterlist

(GIF from Pinterest)

The familiar scuff of his boots on the Crest floor pulled you from REM sleep into barely languid, and the heat of your body from the cot’s covers warmed just so.

Your riduur was home.

Due to how out of it you were, it took you a few moments to realize that no, this wasn’t a dream. This was real. The two-day mission turned five, turned seven, turned nine, turned twelve was finally over, and your numb body somehow found the strength to prop itself up and drape yourself with the blankets.

You sat like that, all wrapped up in your cocoon, smiling to yourself with your eyes closed, for a few moments. You then stood up slowly, taking the blankets with you, and squinted your way out of the bedroom. Your eyes were no wider than slits, and you thanked the maker for muscle memory.

You swallowed the sleep from your mouth and rounded the corner, feeling your muscles ache with stretch, still in a daze. Your head was beginning to swim with dopamine, and with one last yawn, you made it to the cock pit.

The sight before you halted you instantly.

There was your husband, wrapped in wealth and impenetrable metal, leaning over Grogu’s tiny bassinet. He must have gotten fussy when Din opened the airlock, and Din had immediately taken care of it.

You’d have to thank him for that later.

He sat Grogu up, patting his back, and fed him small bites of maple bar. His favorite.

“That’s it buddy,” he whispered. “Swallow. There ya go.”

You stood and watched this encounter, soaking it in. It was moments like this that you missed the most when he was gone—moments so domiciliary and domesticated that they etched into your heart implicitly. These moments were so wrapped in rarity that you could not even daydream about them or yearn for them, because you didn’t even know they existed. Like watching a Mandalorian brush his teeth, or chop an onion, or change the sheets, or breathe at night. They were the memories you would recall when you were old and graying, unable to describe them in a way that did them justice.

You wrapped yourself tighter in the blankets, just watching and basking in the glow of it. Eventually Din laid Grogu down, tucking him in, and traced his face with his leather-bound glove.

“Goodnight buddy,” he whispered, and turned to you.

You looked up at him in all his sheathing, and smiled.

“Hi,” you whispered.

“Hi,” he whispered back. He smelled of metal and woods with a hint of gunpowder. In the nearly pitch black of the room his shoulders still appeared as broad as ever, his armor was caked in mud, and his weapons belt hung a noticeable amount lower than usual.

You took a moment to soak in the fact that you would look at him like this for the rest of your life.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said, moving closer to you.

“You didn’t,” you replied, “your boots did.”

His chuckle underneath the modulator was nothing like it was out of it, but it was enough to bring you home.

“You know I like being up for you when you get back,” you said, looking up higher at him as he came closer and closer. The warmth of the blankets and increased blood flow were not the only things warming your insides now. “Let me be your docile, obedient wife for once.”

You could feel the smirk on his face. “Yes. Obedient and docile, perfect for you.”

He made it to you, wrapping his hands around your waist. Your hands laid on top of his cooled beskar chest and chills etched up your spine as you looked up at him with a smile.

He pressed his forehead firmly against your own. The smell of forest and frost on him engulfed you. “My wife is none of those things.”

You hummed. “No, she isn’t.”

He began slowly walking you backwards into the bedroom, as if you were swaying in a dance, and your hands crept up to his helmet.

“Why didn’t you wake me up when the kid was fussy? I could have taken care of him.”

His gloved hands trailed up your back and the exhaustion in his voice was present. “I missed him. Wanted to take care of him.”

You smiled and pressed a kiss to his visor, tasting a mix of ice and salt that burned your chapped lips. “Okay.”

The back of your knees hit the bed frame and you stopped, creeping your hands underneath Din’s helmet.

“If you take this thing off me I’m not going to be able to keep my mouth off you.”

He said it so nonchalantly, as if that was a normal thing to say, and the fatigue of his voice and body language liquified you even more. Your still drowsy state was not helping matters.

You felt euphoric, in a perfect state of conscious and unconscious, like you were still in a dream. It was paradise.

“That’s exactly what I had in mind,” you said, removing the sheets wrapped around you. You let them fall onto the bed before reaching back up for him, slowly rising the helmet off of his head. The familiar hiss coated your ears as it rose, and the chocolate eyes that were yours forever met your own.

He smiled in the dark, illuminated by the moon. He brought his mouth inches away from yours, breathing in your breaths. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you responded, and he kissed you.

Immediately, the taste and feel of him washing over you threatened to crumble you to the floor. Din hands on your waist were the only things keeping you upright.

He kept you standing like it was nothing.

He kissed you slowly and deeply, taking his sweet time tasting you again. Your hands worked their way up his body, tracing his beskar all the way up to his hair. Your tongue met his at the same moment your nails scratched his scalp, and he pulled away from you to groan.

“Can we do this now?” he asked, resting his nose against your cheek. His breaths coated your face. “Please?”

You smiled, burying your hands in his hair. Your eyes drifted closed in bliss. “Yes, Din. I want you. Right now.”

He kissed your cheek and placed your hands back on his armor. “Please get this off of me, and please keep me awake.”

And you did.

Piece by piece, you disrobed the Mandalorian from his beskar down to complete nudity, watching his eyes open and close as he began to drift to sleep as he stood. A few times you had to lean him onto you to prevent him from falling, and he kissed around your pulse point every time. Whispering gibberish.

Finally you squatted down to remove his boots, and just like that, he was naked in front of you. His purple under-eyes stood out in the moonlight, as well as a new scar across his abdomen. Your irises coated in worry, reaching up to feel it, but he stopped you.

“Tomorrow,” he said, kissing you more passionately than he had all night. “Tomorrow.”

Then he disrobed you.

The rough skin on his hands tracing you lit you on fire, boiling you enough to keep you conscious. He was the slowest with your panties, pulling them down your thighs like an art form. You scratched your nails down his warm back, and that seemed to speed him up.

As soon as the fabric hit the floor Din lifted you into his arms, laying you down flat on the cot before crawling overtop of you.

“Din, you’re tired, I can—”

“No,” he said, burying his head in your neck. “Wanna be close to you.”

You couldn’t say no to that.

He took the sheets you had discarded and covered them over the two of you. You could see nothing else but him, and you were completely surrounded by the scent and warmth of his skin.

“Maker I missed you so badly,” he said before kissing you hard enough to make you whine. You pulled him as close to you as possible, tracing his body as he kissed and kissed and kissed you, memorizing your mouth. The passion and heat in you were rising, and with one trace down his haired chest with your nail, he pulled away. He traced his hands over your face, pushing your hair away to see you fully. You traced his face too, noticing his scruff had turned into a full beard.

You always liked that look on him.

“Y/N,” he whispered. “My Y/N.” He spoke as if you were unbelievable

“I’m right here,” you responded, holding his face in your hands.

“I just want to be inside of you,” he whispered, almost pathetically. “Can we just skip to that part?”

You smiled, laughing loudly, and kissed him quickly. “Yes.”

He huffed a laugh and kissed you again, nice and slow, like he had been the whole night.

He kissed you and felt you for so long that you didn’t know if he would make it. His movements slowed and slowed as he went on, touching you and tracing you so meticulously it was like he was painting you from nothing.

Finally, with a firm kiss to your jawline, he entered you tortuously. You exhaled in pure pleasure, and your body threatened to rapture already.

He was a dream come true.

Din halted when he was as deep as he could go and tucked his head into your neck. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyar’ika riduur.”

You kissed the side of his head. “Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, adol akaan.”

And that’s when he started to move.

As he moved in and out, in and out, in and out, dragging each thrust on and on to feel every inch of your folds. He felt all around you, re-memorizing you; how you skin felt, how your body had changed, and the exact rhythm of your heart.

Tears spilled from your eyes as he moved, and you moaned his name over and over, grateful for the return of it in your tongue.

“Keep—keep doing that, saying my name,” he said as he moved. “Almost forgot I had it.”

You repeated it over and over again, clenching around Din when he began to shake. He swirled his shaking fingers around your clit, and with one last clench, the both of you went.

The covers above your heads did little to hide the sound of your synchronization, and it was then that you really started to drift. Din was so warm inside you—filling you up completely—and his body had you trapped in a cave of sheets and serenity. You were perfectly satisfied with your husband safe and sound in your arms, and your body began to fail you.

You felt Din prop himself up and press kisses around your face and your mouth, and your lips tingled with the intensity of it all. He rubbed his nose against yours and pecked your lips before laying back on top of you, pulling the covers raised above his head off as he did. You were hit with fresh air, and were inches away from bliss before Din whispered one last thing in your ear.

“Goodnight, docile and obedient wife.”

You drifted off with a smile.

None of this was a dream. This was real.

Your riduur was home.

Mando’a Translations:

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, cyar’ika riduur: I love you/ I will know you forever, my sweet wife.

Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, adol akaan: I love you/ I will know you forever, even through war.

Tag list: (I apologize if your tag is not working/not added. Let me know if you’d like to be added!!)

@leahkenobi

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@lexloon @pauphs

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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year

Text

Back To You

➪the one where anakin is slipping away and needs you more than ever.

Part 1 | HAPPY MAY THE 4TH (had to get this out for today)

Warnings: self deprecating thoughts once again, anakin on the verge of turning evil, angst, fluff, insecurities, mentions of insecurities, mentions of death, urges to kill

Word Count: 4.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine <3

Your reflection stared back at you, your own eyes looking at you with pity.

Poor, lonely Y/n.

With tense shoulders, you shudder out a deep breath and avert your eyes to the marble of the countertop.

You hated when your thoughts ran around in your head like this. It didn’t happen often, no, not anymore. You weren’t a teen anymore, you had no excuse to feel like this, yet you just couldn’t help yourself.

Taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, you miss the way Anakin appears in the doorway, his brows furrowed and his shoulders tense, matching yours. “Y/n,” it was as if he knew what was happening, felt the way your own body was attacking itself with a sense of hatred and burden.

You look back up and meet his eyes in the mirror, a small whine of embarrassment leaving you. “I wish you wouldn’t see me like this,”

Anakin hadn’t seen you act this way in many months, not since you were on the verge of becoming an adult. Your shoulders shaking beyond your control, the crease in your forehead, the quiver in your voice. He hated all of it.

“Wish all you want,” he said as he stepped into the room. “I still see you.”

Crossing the short distance, Anakin stands behind you, his height towering over yours as you look at each other in the mirror. “You want to know what I see?” You quietly ask him and he stays silent, his eyes giving you a look of warning that told you all you needed to know. No, if you see anything negative about yourself and voice it to him, he doesn’t want to know what you see. You say it anyway. “I see someone unworthy of love, of being cherished. I don’t see a powerful warrior like I’ve been told I am. I’m nothing.”

Ankin places his hands on your waist, his grip firm as he stares you down in the reflection. “That is not true and you know it,” his voice was stern and left no room for arguments.

But you were far too stubborn for your own good, a trait Anakin saw in himself and one of the many reasons he fell for you in the first place. “But it is true, Ani,” you protested, looking at yourself with a hint of embarrassment and disgust. “Look at me.”

“I am,” his voice was the most serious you had ever heard it, something that makes you promptly stop talking. You weren’t intimated, no, Anakin would never put you in a situation in which he held his power and strength over you, but you were, however, intrigued. So much so you waited for him to continue, a ghost of a frown painted on your lips. “You are so much more than that. Your mind may betray you, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. You are strong and more powerful than you even know. One day you will save this galaxy, and you don’t even know it yet.”

Your lip quivers and you repress showing the chill that runs down your spine. “What if I don’t believe that?”

“You will,” he affirms. His arms wrap around your middle and he leans down so his chin is hovering over your shoulder. You rest your arms over his as you hold eye contact, your sight slightly blurred. “And until that time comes, I’ll be here to remind you just how powerful you are.”

One by one, all the happy memories Anakin had with you faded into nothing, his heart cracking each time he felt a part of him slip away.

His body nearly gave up on itself as he stumbled his way through the temple. One of his hands shot out to catch himself, his palm pressing flat against the wall as he steadied his footing. “Get it together, Anakin,” he muttered to himself, taking a deep breath in hopes to relieve some of the pressure he felt was weighing him down.

It was then when Obi-Wan rounded the corner and saw his padawan struggling to keep himself up right. He was at his side in seconds, his hand wrapping around the younger man’s arm and pulling him into a standing position. “Anakin,” he said, worry lacing his words. “Are you alright?”

Anakin gave him a slow nod, his dull eyes focused on the stone of the floor. He thinks back to his last conversation with you, a full three weeks ago, and his eyes abruptly shut, your words repeating in his head before leaving his own mouth. “I fear I’ve fallen ill,”

Obi-Wan gives him a concerned look, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Take it easy,” he says, noticing the way Anakin refused to show him his eyes and the way his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. “Relax, Anakin. You’re needed for the mission of protecting Senator Padmè and we can’t have you falling weak a few days before you’re set to leave.”

Anakin felt his ears begin to burn at the mention of Padmè, his jaw locking tightly as he lifted his head. He still refused to meet the eyes of his good friend, his shoulder raising quickly and making Obi-Wan’s hand fall off it. “I’ll be fine,” he muttered before walking forward and leaving the older man behind with a worried look.

His strides were quick, his chest heavy with a rage he had never felt before as he opened the door to his room with a rough shove.

Protecting Padmè? The woman he had not spoken to since the night you left him? Putting his life on the line for the person who was the reason he hadn’t been happy in weeks? The one who helped him destroy the best thing in his life?

Not a chance.

Anakin’s shoulders tensed up as the door slammed shut behind him, his eyes flickering all over the near-empty room.

He wasn’t as in control as he thought he was, and that much was obvious when he turned the entire place upside down a mere ten minutes after you walked out the door.

He couldn’t help it, everything reminded him of you.

The thought of staying in this room that had always meant to shield you from the harsh reality by himself was one that kept him up at night. The dark circles that had formed under his eyes the day after you left him had become a seemingly permanent addition to his appearance.

He almost didn’t recognise himself when he first noticed the deep and dark marks that shadowed his face. He assumed they’re from the lack of sleep he was getting, or not getting.

He couldn’t sleep without you. He found that out pretty quickly.

After he had finished destroying every piece of furniture in the communal area of the room, he felt his bones ache with exhaustion. His eyes were burning and his hand was sore from throwing anything it could grab a hold of. Yet, as he made his way to the bed, the same one he had been holding you on - if only for a couple of seconds that he wished he could have back - only minutes prior, he discovered that he couldn’t fall asleep.

His mind wouldn’t turn off, past memories with you flashing behind his eyes at a rapid pace. As he tried to get his body to relax and succumb to the darkness, he had no control over the way his hand twitched in the direction in which you always were, right beside him. Your side of the bed was cold, yet another thing he wasn’t used to as you were always there, for him to hold, for him to hide with.

Now, three weeks later, and he is no better. He had gotten about five hours of sleep in total during the time he spent away from you, and it wasn’t something he had a say in.

He wasn’t able to sleep in the bed, that much was obvious after his first failed attempt. After he rummaged through the dresser and grabbed onto one of your robes, he held onto the fabric with both hands. His face buried in it as he fell to the floor, his back pressed to the end of the bed.

He fell asleep a few minutes after that, a death grip on your robe - one of the few things he had left of you. When he awoke half an hour later, he was met with the still dark sky and a pain in his lower back.

It didn’t take him long to start tearing apart that dresser.

The few times he fell asleep after that were at random.

While waiting for Obi-Wan to show up for a day of training, Anakin had fallen asleep against the wall of the meditation room. He was woken up an hour later by another Jedi who looked at him with concern and a bit of pity, something Anakin loathed.

His sleep schedule consisted of quick naps in the most bizarre places, one being behind the wheel of his ship - that one nearly ended in a fatality for both him and Obi-Wan. Seeing as he was supposed to be the best pilot in all the galaxy, Anakin took Obi-Wan’s lecture without trying to defend himself as he didn’t even know what was wrong with him.

His sleep state wasn’t even a safe space. He had one dream about you, one where you came back and you held him and kissed him and told him everything he needed and had been desperate to hear.

The rest were nightmares. Or nothing at all. A void.

Anakin felt like a ghost, a shell of who he used to be.

He wasn’t happy, wasn’t consumed with excitement whenever he was set to fly, wasn’t filled with a sense of pride whenever he successfully completed a quick mission.

He felt like his body was betraying him, and the fact that he hadn’t seen even a glimpse of you since you left didn’t help at all.

The temple was big, but he didn’t realise it was massive enough to keep you hidden from him for three weeks.

Three weeks.

Nearly four without you.

Anakin was sure that when the one month mark hit, his body would no longer function at his control. It hardly was now, so he was not looking forward to seeing how he would be in a week from now.

He turns right and enters the bedroom, everything untouched with the exception of the broken dresser beside the door. His eyes narrowed on the bed and he felt, what had to be, the hundredth sharp stab that pierced his heart in the past few weeks.

“I’m nervous,” you nearly whispered, your hands running over Anakin’s bare shoulders. A single candle was lit and placed on the nightstand a couple feet from where his body hovered over yours on the bed. The flicker of orange made him look so innocent, so young and carefree, a sight you quickly decided was a blessing to see. “Will it hurt?”

Anakin leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead, his arms tightening around your frame. “Maybe for a bit,” he murmured against your skin. “We don’t have to do this tonight. I don’t want you to feel rushed.”

You shake your head, your nose brushing against his as you did so. “I want to do this, I promise,” your words are quiet and the only sound that fills the dark room. It was just you and him, the outside world blocked by a door and the curtains that covered the window. You had never felt more safe. “I need this. We need this.”

It was true.

Anakin would be sent away the following morning on what would be his longest absence yet. While you had grown used to his day long missions, this one was said to be no less than a couple weeks. He had never spent that long away from you and he wasn’t coping that well with the thought of leaving you behind.

The decision to do this tonight was mutual.

He needed something to hold onto until he returned to you, and you needed the feeling of being completely loved and wanted to get you through the weeks you’d spend without him.

Anakin nodded, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss before reaching over and taking your hand in his. “Only for a bit,” he said again before the distance was closed once more.

Anakin felt the last good memory slip away from him and his eyes darkened, an ache in his jaw as he clenched it again.

He was going to do the mission; the one where they would be counting on him to keep Padmè out of harm’s way and protect her with his life.

However, what they didn’t know was that Anakin was now treating this as a form of justice, or, in other words, an assassination.

“Y/n,” Obi-Wan greeted as he entered the meditation room. “I’ve finally found you.”

His smile was kind but told you that he wasn’t here to talk about anything good. You return the smile as best as you could, sitting up straighter and holding eye contact with him. “Master,” you say back, brows furrowing when the smile was replaced with a frown. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

The man nodded, his fingers tugging on the sleeve of his shirt in a way that showed he was nervous but was trying to hide it. “It’s Anakin Skywalker,” he said and you quickly looked away. “Something is troubling him.”

Your eyes focus on the floor as you fight the urge to cry in front of Obi-Wan. It would give away the very real fact that you were well aware of what Anakin was going through, and the fact you were in a forbidden relationship with the Jedi.

Anakin.

You hadn’t heard his name in weeks, cutting off any communication with him and anyone affiliated with him, including the very man standing in front of you. Guilt creeped into you, the same guilt that had plagued you since the moment you left the crying man by himself in the room you no longer felt at home in.

The weeks you spent without the man you loved were brutal.

You had been struck with an overwhelming feeling of guilt and you carried it with you every day. Your heart broke every time you heard the hushed whispers of fellow Jedi about how the supposed ‘Chosen One’ was failing to do the simplest of tasks and had become a weak version of himself. One that didn’t show up to important meetings, didn’t give his all on quick and easy missions, and looked like he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep in months.

The one who looked on the verge of falling to the dark side.

You didn’t want to think about that last one, despite the numerous times you’ve heard it be brought up. Never did you ever think Anakin would become the worst version of himself, become a person he was so far from and forget about everything that made him the powerful Jedi he had been for so long now.

There was no way it was because of you and how you left things. How could it? How could you mean so much to someone that they’d forget all they worked for, fought for, bled for, just because you were no longer a constant in their life?

It just didn’t make sense to you, but then again, the fact that you even had a sliver of Anakin Skywalker in the first place didn’t make a whole lot of sense, either.

He was too good for you, too kind and caring and someone who deserved the world. Something you couldn’t give him, no matter how much you wanted to.

You wanted to give him any and everything he asked for and more, but you couldn’t. And you would never be able to.

You couldn’t even give yourself the time of day and dedication needed to progress in your life, so how could you possibly help Anakin in any way?

The question had you looking up and meeting the eyes of Obi-Wan once again. “What does that have to do with you looking for me?”

“If I recall correctly, you and Anakin were quite close not too long ago,” he said and you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat and how you wanted to point out just how close the two of you had been. “Is that right?”

You nodded quickly, eyes focusing on the wall behind him. “We were, but not anymore,”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Obi-Wan gave you a look of pity before he continued, “Anakin is a good person, someone who I find myself looking up to. I’m afraid something has happened….something that could lead to his demise.”

That made you stand up, your brows pressing together as you stepped closer. “What do you mean?”

The man hesitated before swallowing harshly. “I’ve been observing him and I’m worried about what I’ve seen so far. He hasn’t been sleeping or focusing. Just this morning I found him against a wall, unable to hold himself up,” he says. “He wouldn’t look me in the eye. I can’t help but fear the worst.”

Your eyes flicker between his. “What are you saying?”

You share a look before he places a hand on your shoulder. “I’m afraid we’re losing him to something he should have never seen or felt,”

“Anakin!” Your hand turned the doorknob before you could even think about knocking first. Stepping into the room, you let out a quiet gasp at the sight of destruction. Not a single thing was how you left it, not even the side of the door that faced the inside of the room. It was dented and beaten in, hints of blood here and there that told you exactly what had happened to the wood.

You stumble your way through the now unfamiliar room and head straight towards the bedroom, where you’re met with a demolished dresser. The rest of the room seemed untouched and you bent down to pick up one of your shirts, fisting the material in your hand. The rest of your clothing was thrown around the floor, some stuck on the corner of the bed that looked like it hadn’t been slept in since you left.

Dropping the shirt, you turn around after coming to the conclusion that the room was empty. You stand outside the door that led to the bathroom, your hand hovering over the doorknob.

He had to be in there, and that thought had your heart beating rapidly.

With a firm twist, your fingers press against the door and push.

Standing in front of the mirror was Anakin, his eyes glossy and staring at his reflection. His shoulders were stiff, his whole body tense in a way that had you swallowing nervously. His hands gripped the marbled countertop tightly, his knuckles turning a few shades lighter as heavy pants left his mouth.

Pushing back a small ounce of uncertainty, you step into the room. He must have been deep in thought as he didn’t notice the door open or your smaller figure enter the room. You were afraid to ask what was going on in that pretty head of his. It had to be something awful to have him this out of it.

“Anakin,” You say his name quietly, almost to the point of it being inaudible.

But he heard you. Whatever daydream he was in was ripped away the second your voice hit his ears. His eyes moved from his own and met yours in the reflection, the crease in his brow softening as a shaky breath left his lips. The feeling of relief was short-lived. “You’re not real,” he muttered, not giving you a second glance as his eyes went back to being stone cold.

It was then when you realised how much you truly meant to the poor boy. You really had no idea that you, of all people, could mean this much to someone, let alone the perfection that is Anakin.

He was so messed up to the point where he didn’t even believe he was actually seeing you.

You felt your heart break all over again. “What have I done to you?” You ask, holding back a dry sob as you take a daring step closer. “Anakin…it’s me.”

He only shook his head, his chin tilting downwards as he muttered something under his breath.

You blink back a tear or two as you cross the room, your hand tugging on his arm. “Look at me,” you nearly cry out, your grip making him turn slightly. His eyes left the mirror and landed on you. The blue orbs softened just a bit and you watched as what seemed to be a million thoughts ran through his head. You reach up and caress the side of his face, your thumb gently stroking his cheekbone as well as the scar that graced his skin. “Look at me.”

The furrow in his brow faded away as his hands left the counter, his body fully turning to face yours. “Y/n,” he whispered, his hand reaching up to wrap around your wrist as he leaned into your touch.

You let out a quiet hum to let him know that was really you and that you were here, with him. “I’m so sorry,” you say quietly, your thumb continuing to stroke his face while his stroked the skin of your wrist.

His eyes were still glossy and his whole being still seemed as if it was far away. Your other hand grasped his shoulder as you stepped closer, trying to think of what to do to get him to fully come back.

A delirious grin formed on his lips as he looked at you, still not believing you were actually there. “I missed you,” he murmured, his eyes flickering all over your face before he began to turn back towards the mirror.

You placed both your hands on his face and pulled him away from whatever trance the mirror held over him. Tugging his head down, you press your forehead against his. “I’m here,” you whisper, reaching one hand down to grab his and place it on your waist. “I’m here and I’m so sorry.”

Anakin furrowed his brows again, his head shaking as his gloved hand tightened its grip on you. “It’s not…you’re not-”

“I am,” you cut him off, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as if it’ll help stop the love of your life from turning on everything he had going for him. You weren’t sure what to do at this point. Anakin was in denial, seemingly stuck in a very fragile state and balancing on a very thin edge of becoming something he swore he wouldn’t. A tear slips down your face as you brush your nose against his, an act you’ve done too many times to count. “Please….come back to me.”

Whatever had a hold on his mind seemed to let go as you said the words he had been craving to hear, the same ones you murmured to him in the first and only dream he had about you since you left - the same ones he said to you.

He pulled back just slightly, his eyes staring into yours as his face relaxed for the first time in nearly a month. His lip quivered and his eyes filled with unshed tears, his hand that wasn’t on your waist coming up to grip the back of your neck as he pulled you into him.

You wrapped your arms around him as your face pressed against his chest, a sigh of relief and desperation leaving both of you.

“Angel,” the name falls easily from his lips, his arms tightening around you as if you would disappear at any given second - and he’d be alone again. “You’ve come back to me.”

“I never should have left you,” you say back, your voice muffled due to the sobs you were holding back. “I’m so sorry, Anakin. Please, forgive me.”

His hand slides upwards to cradle the back of your head as he quietly hushes you. “It’s okay, my love,” he says quietly, his mind becoming foggy at the fact that he had you back in his arms. “You’re okay.” He presses his lips to the side of your head, his hand refraining from pulling you back in when he feels you push against him.

“I’m not,” you shake your head, your hands fisting his shirt. “I haven’t been. I feel so bad, Anakin. I hate that I hurt you. The guilt has been eating me alive, I’m so sorry for everything I put you through.”

Your sweet voice was music to his ears and he brought his hand around to the front of your head, where his thumb brushes away your tears as he quiets you once more. “It’s alright, angel,” he says, pulling you close once again. “We’ve found each other again, there’s nothing to be sorry for. We’re okay.”

Before you could nod in agreement, his lips pressed to yours in a gentle yet firm kiss. The action made his own tears fall as he closed his eyes, begging to anyone listening that you’d still be there when he opened them again. “I love you,” you mumbled when you pulled away, your forehead resting against his cheek. “So much.”

“I love you,” he says in return, holding you close and inhaling the scent that only belonged to you - the scent that made him dizzy. “Take me back.” Let me live again.

You nod quickly, leaning up to kiss him again. “It’s you and me,” you say against his mouth, feeling the way his arms wrapped protectively around your middle.

“You and me,” he agreed, kissing you once again. Forever.

Part 3

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cheemken · 11 months

Note

well, rn weirdbutdecentart (who was in the 2021 war) drew her f/a!sona as being in the Angst Side, so Angst is surely growing in numbers this time—

also, jus some what-ifs from me, buuut maybe i could get roped into joining(?) Angst by y’all paying me to spy on Fluff ig??

idk but it seems like a pretty cool way to be involved in the AU war lmao—

Ohh that's dope, angst do be thriving rn hahaha

But also

I actually thought of that too, like Dee caught you and brought you to me and I made a deal w you, that if somehow you got more info abt Fluff and the other factions I'd let you live ouo

I wanted to draw that but like my motivation is on a vacation rn hahaha

#that concept is where i inagine Finch would kinda show up?#like f/a you woukd refuse at first then a stray bullet passes between us #and you look around and see them just grinning from the shadows hahah #and yeah hahah #idk if theyd be cool w that tho hahah so yeah another reason why i didnt draw it hahah #plus im still not sure what their final f/a design is so hey hahah #if you wanna go w that concept go ahead thatd be cool too hahaha #an ask and an answer #just-jammin #angst/fluff war #fluff/angst war

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daneecastle · 5 months

Text

New page.

Angst war pg 7

@goodomensafterdark @vavoom-sorted-art @gahellhimself-blog @gleafer @kotias

Crowley is alive. And things are looking so sweet. Aziraphale’s eyes are changing back to their blue and there is humor. But, for how long? Is it too good to be true? I have a lot more pages planned out. I can’t stop. Sorry not sorry.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #michael sheen #neil gaiman #david tennant #good omens fanart #comic #progress #good omens after dark angst war #angst war #good omens angst #angst comic #fluff #good omens fandom #good omens comic #the cake is a lie

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stargirl-writes · 6 months

Text

promises

pairing : f! reader x rots! anakin skywalker

word count : 1k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

ever since anakin had killed dooku, your anxiety has never settled. for you were watching him slowly lose himself in the war. and you lie late at night lost in the idea that maybe, being with you didn't make any difference at all. so, you watched him sleep, at peace, stealing what little time you could have with him.

tags : angst, comfort, love, flangst (?)

warnings : pretty much none, just angsty stuff to cry to hehe

notes : hello beautiful people! i finished the film past lives and there's this one line that just shattered me 😭 so i just wanna share this little imagine before i go to sleep :) hope ya like it 🪽🩷

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated ! (and fuels me hehe)

Anakin Skywalker is your secret.

Your beautiful little secret.

Here wrapped in these sheets, where everything softens. Hushed. Kissed by the gentle rays of the moonlight.

You have been awake for some time now. But you didn't dare move. Anakin was still deep in his dreams exhausted from the day before. Despite his slumber, his arms wrap around you protectively.

You placed your head on his chest, following his breathing and listening to the soft thuds of his heart.

Your gaze lands on his peaceful expression.

How can someone look so beautifu?

You thought, he looked like the people in the paintings. Like how an artist would imagine a being with the perfect proportions. And he'd move as if each stroke is intended with grace.

The force made him. You'd sometimes catch yourself lost in his eyes, staring, studying the way it'd crease at the ends when he smiles. Is he even human? You'd think to yourself. He is the galaxy made flesh. That has to account for his prettiness, you think.

You take a deep breath; the scales of the ongoing war are further tipped to the Republic's advantage after Anakin had killed Dooku.

It was so close. Even the air itself has shifted. You can feel it, the end. You can almost visualize it.

Maybe then, things will change...

Selfishly, you feel your heart ache by the little amount of time you could share with Anakin. You can't help it, you have always belonged to him, and for that, you have suffered.

He is the Jedi Order's first. Before you can call him yours. You're not even sure if he is his own's anymore. Because you've watched how this war takes so much of him.

Be smarter, Be more cunning, Be more ruthless. Offer yourself again and again and again.

There's so little of him that remains.

You blinked, sighing once more. You reminded yourself that you are here, tangled in his embrace. It was enough to know that here he lies, with you.

Anakin shifts and you hold your breath. You begged the Gods to not wake him, not yet, let me have him, just for now.

Anakin mutters something. Huttese, the language he grew up on. Your eyebrows furrowed, you never really got to understanding the language even after studying it.

His heart paces under your touch. You kept your gaze on his face, deciding whether you should wake him up or have him rest.

He has been having so many nightmares lately...

His eyes abruptly open and you lent your weight on your elbow to better survey him.

"It's alright, Ani, it was just a dream" You spoke softly, careful not to startle him.

Anakin's wide-eye terror softens at the sight of you, his chest heaves trying to catch his breath.

"It's alright" You coo once more, placing a kiss on his forehead.

He presses his eyes close, and his eyes are intent in yours as he follows your breathing.

You can't help but feel a sting in your heart. He is reaching his limit, and it worries you that whenever he's away, he is close to blurring the lines and crossing it.

Anakin presses his face to your clavicle, and your hands find a way to tangle in his hair. Noticing his silence, you spoke soothingly "What's on your mind, Ani?"

Anakin's breath felt warm against your neck. You used to be able to read Anakin's thoughts. Like he'd write it down in words on pages of a novel for you to be able to understand him. But now, he's been more distant, more incoherent, and you feel as though you have to decipher every little thing that he allows you to see.

"mmm—just tired" Anakin's voice was gravelly and of resignation.

Stop turning me away. You wanted to say. But you already know that the more you try to push him, the further he'll hide away.

You take a deep breath, wishing you could take away some of the weight off his shoulders. "You know you speak in Huttese when you're asleep"

"I do?" Anakin tilts his chin, his eyes are still half-asleep.

"Yeah, I could never understand it though" You managed a wan smile.

"That's probably good for you, Huttese is a very coarse language" He claims.

"Still—" You held back your tongue, deciding it would only drive him away if you asked about his dream.

"I fear that you dream in a language I can't understand"

The silence hung. Anakin must be asleep.

Your gaze moved faraway— deep in contemplation. Wondering if you being in his life made any difference at all.

"You know, I only ever feel like myself when I'm with you, right?" Anakin speaks, voice barely above a whisper.

Your cheeks flushed scarlet, realizing your force signature may have revealed your anxieties.

"I know"

Anakin shifts his head, eyes latched on to you like he was memorizing every detail of your face.

"Ani" you began, "If there's a life after it all, will you come with me?"

Anakin's eyebrows flashed at the suddenness of your question.

"What do you mean?" He places his hand on the small of your back, tracing small circles.

"Well, I'm only wondering, will you come with me, even then?"

Anakin's expression softens, recognizing your fears. You were losing him, slowly, bit by bit. And if you're bound to him in this life, why not in the other?

When you can finally feel like you're not constantly the only one holding on.

He doesn't answer for a while, you feel the need to ramble, to withdraw.

It was silly of you to ask, he is free to choose whatever life he wants to live after it all, besides, if he decides to want to rest, you won't take that away from him, if he ever wants to—

"I'll go wherever you go" he declares, halting the thoughts plaguing your mind.

His eyes drift away from yours "I can't... I know what my duty requires of me and I'm sorry if I haven't been here for you."

"But, I'll love you in a time that isn't stolen" he promises, tucking your hair away from your face.

You felt tears glistening in your eyes. You smiled, leaning in to tenderly kiss Anakin.

The hope of it all would be enough to keep you going.

Just a little while longer.

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cosmicanakin · 3 months

Text

more than just an interview.

pairing. hayden christensen x female reader.

outline. your nerves are everywhere for your first big interview with hayden christensen himself, but things take an exciting turn when he asks for your number.

contains. fluff, reader being a fan girl, tattoos mentioned, workplace romance, anxiety nerves.

authors note. i've only ever written for hayden's characters but never for him :( so here's a little hayden fic!

your heart races as you smooth down your skirt for what feels like the hundredth time, nerves wracking your body while pacing the length of the small room. today marked your first big interview covering the much anticipated release of ahsoka, and the lucky subject chosen was none other than hayden christensen himself.

ever since the prequels first captured your imagination as a young teen, you've harbored a hopeless crush on the actor behind anakin skywalker. his smoldering screen presence and talent at bringing such depth to a complex character left you wholly enamored, fueling artistic pursuits like drawing and even getting a tattoo tribute on your 18th birthday.

glancing down at the familiar lines inked below your left wrist, fingers tracing over them brought both comfort and fresh butterflies. would hayden appreciate the sentiment behind such a permanent mark of fandom, or find it odd and off-putting? you couldn't decide which terrified you more in that moment, the impending interview or potentially showing him such an intimate secret.

before anxiety could mount further, a light knock sounded at the door. "they're ready for you y/n." with a final calming breath you nodded, steeling nerves as best able while trailing your guide down bustling halls. rounds of cameras and crew zipped to and fro in organized chaos, only serving to heighten your jittery state.

entering the room, bright lights and microphones came into view alongside your subject for the day. hayden sat relaxed in an armchair, striking features gently illuminated while conversing easily with staff. at your approach he glanced up, meeting your eyes with a warm smile that set butterflies aflutter once more.

"hayden, this is y/n l/n, she'll be conducting your interview today. make yourselves comfortable and we'll begin filming in 5." with that your guide slipped away, leaving you alone under his keen gaze that seemed to assess every minute detail.

stumbling through introductions you both settled into adjacent seats, closing the small distance between as a PA adjusted lighting and levels. "it's truly an honor hayden, i've been a huge fan of your work for so long. thank you for taking the time today."

he graced you with another genuous smile feeling heat rush your cheeks. "the pleasure is all mine y/n, i'm always happy to chat with fellow star wars enthusiasts."

you then launched into prepared questions relying heavily on note cards to steady shaking hands. hayden spoke eloquently of the joys in revisiting ahsoka and anakin's dynamic through animation, the creative challenges of lending voice without physical presence, as well as hints of where future stories may lead the beloved character.

absorbed in the discussion, you almost missed the lull signaling a natural break between topics. glancing down to reorder cards, hayden's eyes caught a glimpse of your inked tribute.

"is that...?" trailing off inquisitively, his gaze held yours in silent permission to explain. heart thundering in your ribs, you extended your arm stiffly for closer inspection with a sheepish smile.

"oh yeah, it's a little silly. but i got this on my 18th birthday as a sort of tribute to anakin. he's my favorite character in star wars thanks to you." chuckling nervously, you shrugged awaiting judgment on such a bold permanent choice.

instead, hayden gently cradled your wrist to examine lines tracing each curve with a focus that sent shivers through your veins. his thumb rubbed absent circles causing thoughts to short circuit, breath hitching slightly at the contact.

"not silly at all, i'm truly flattered. it's not often i come across such devoted fans, let alone marks of appreciation so meaningful. thank you for sharing this with me, it will certainly remain a treasured memory."

releasing your now flaming skin, hayden graced you with a look loaded with warmth that threatened composure. frantically you shifted topics back to the interview, desperate to regain threads of coherency spinning out of control under his gaze. thankfully he indulged without further comment, captivating the audience once more.

all too soon your allotted time came to an end, both of you graciously thanking one another while crew prepped for the next guest. hayden bid farewell with a lingering handshake, flashing one last smile that left you lightheaded long after exiting the stage.

leaning against the nearest wall, you attempted to regulate your breathing and pounding heart. had you truly just conducted that interview, seen that sweet genuine reaction to a silly fangirl choice that meant the world? pinching yourself proved no dreams, only solid reality awaiting further processing back at home with friends.

giddiness prevented focus for the remainder of promotional rounds, drifting through subsequent interviews on autopilot buzzing with endorphins. by late afternoon you found solace beside a refreshments table, quietly replaying treasured memories while nibbling on a giant cookie.

"y/n!" whirling at the call of your name, disbelief flooded as none other than hayden christensen hurriedly approached with a beaming smile. had he mistaken you for another, or somehow recalled you despite a packed schedule? politeness held your tongue awaiting clarification.

"i'm glad i caught you before leaving, this day has been a whirlwind. i hope i'm not being too forward, but i was wondering if i could maybe take you out for a drink sometime? get to know one another outside of work and such. only if you're interested of course."

heart ceased functioning at the implication, mind reeling to comprehend such an opportunity unfolding before your very eyes. hayden christensen, long-time crush and the subject of your teenage fantasies, was genuinely interested in you beyond surface-level small talk of the press circuit.

"i-i would love that hayden. um just give me a second," you said fumbling for your phone with shaky hands, exchanging numbers felt surreal akin to glimpsing behind intricate hollywood veils so seldom witnessed up close.

"wonderful, it's a date then. i'll text you later this week to discuss plans further. see you then y/n, take care." with a final radiant smile hayden turned on his heel, disappearing behind heavy doors towards whatever awaited beyond this magical day.

plopping onto a chair legs feeling like they might give out at any second, you simply stared bewildered at open phone grasped tightly in palm. had any of this truly happened, or had stress and fangirl aspirations finally sent imagination into overdrive? only time would tell where genuine connection may blossom if given proper chance to take root. for now, replaying treasured snapshots on a loop would have to suffice to quell your pounding heart until destiny worked her mysterious ways.

true to word, your phone lit up later that week with an unknown number. unlocking brought a message reading simply "hey, it's hayden. are you free saturday night?" giddy butterflies exploded anew seeing his name, fingers rushing to confirm eagerly while coordinating logistics.

#﹙ kari writes 𝜗𝜚 ﹚#hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars angst #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin fluff #anakin angst #hayden christensen fluff #hayden christensen x reader #hayden christensen x y/n #hayden christensen angst #hayden christensen x you

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anakin-skywalker-always · 7 months

Note

Fluffy 🌸 with Clone Wars Anakin please? 🥺🥺 with maybe Ahsoka and Obi-Wan shipping them?

The Long Game

Pairing: Clone Wars Era!Anakin x Jedi!Knight Reader

Requested: Yes | No

Warnings: Nothing too bad, but due to the nature of the Clone Wars obviously there is potential mentions of death/loss/wounds etc. I am Australian and therefore swear words aren’t worth a warning for me, but I shall place a warning here regardless. As always, let me know if you think there should be something listed here.

Words: 1.5k - sorry its very short, I'm hoping a part 2 will be requested <3

Author’s Notes: ahhhhh! Thank you for the request @darthgloris I hope this is okay I had a brief idea and I ran with it, hope its still fluffy enough for you! 🥰 This was requested via my Emoji Request Prompts

Anakin was nothing if not arrogant, egotistical and, surprisingly talented to boot. As a youngling he excelled, as a Padawan learner he saved Senator and friend Padmé Amidala’s life more than once. Now, as General Skywalker, Anakin felt like he had grown into himself, grown into his power. It felt limitless, he was limitless. Anakin often had dreams of spreading himself thin, extending his power across the galaxy like a blanket, keeping everyone and everything safe.

He thought highly of himself, it wasn’t a secret. And, he didn’t think it was particularly a problem. He was the Chosen One, was he not? If anyone in the Jedi Temple was allowed to peacock a bit, it was him.

Well, that’s how Anakin rationalised it to himself anyway. Besides, Anakin did not like playing the long game. What was the point when he could sieze everything he wanted now?

Regardless, he had a sharp learning curve when it came to his own Padawan learner, Ashoka Tano. The snippy young girl challenged him more than most. He saw so much of himself in her, the power, the strength, the raw talent. Frustratingly, Anakin saw his faults in her too. Occasionally, the arrogance being something that Anakin couldn’t ignore. Like right now for example.

“Please Kestis the only reason you were moved from youngling to Padawan,” Ashoka paused, pointing her spoon at her young red-headed friend. “Is because the council wanted to try and mellow out your Master with the responsibility of a child.”

Anakin cringed as the young boy - Cal Kestis - pouted at the breakfast table. Anakin could sense Obi-wan’s displeasure from beside him, he saw his old master holding his tongue, allowing Anakin to take the floor in order to berate his Padawan.

Unfortunately, she had a point. And, embarrassingly enough, Ashoka’s argument came straight from the kitchen, so they say. Well, his mother, Shmi, used to say. Anakin remembered expressing the same frustration only a few weeks prior. Jedi Knight, Jedi Master, Council member and friend, Y/N L/N, was unable to join Anakin and Ashoka on a crucial mission in the outer rim, due to the passover of her new, young apprentice: Cal Kestis. It perhaps wasn’t the most fair or patient thing for Anakin to do, but he blamed the boy and focused all of his frustration on the twelve-year-old.

Fuck it, Anakin thought. He had to admit to himself, he was a little jealous of the boy. He could not help but want to be the center of your attention, at all times. Which isn’t a very Jedi thing to want. But Anakin wanted more. He always did. He always felt distracted, like he was slipping away from his mental fortitude the more he thought of you. You were playing some kind of long game with him, and he didn’t like it, the guessing, the pining - it all kept him up at night more than the war had.

Anakin supposed he was ought to be worried about it, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He pined after you, and all he wanted was for you to maybe, even consider him more than a work colleague.

“Ahsoka.” Anakin said sternly, as he pushed his Jedi mandated food around his Jedi mandated plate with his Jedi mandated fork, not bothering to look up at his young charge. “Watch your snippy mouth.”

“She’s not wrong, Master.” Meekly, Cal Kestis mirrored General Skywalker across the table. Anakin felt for the young boy then. Anakin looked up, finally taking in the boy. With his fiery hair and splattering of freckles across his face, he seemed inherently sad, with his lips held tight in a line. Anakin couldn’t help but remember the same expression on his own face as he made his way around Watto’s junkyard.

“Do you not like your Master, young Kestis?” Obi-wan sensed Anakin’s mind was far, far away, the anxiety rolling off him in thick waves.

Cal looked up, quickly, at the two Jedi knights in front of him. He felt like he was in shock, as if the air had been torn from his lungs. Of all the questions he expected to be asked, that was not one of them.

“No!” Cal defended, adamantly. “No! Well yes!” The young Padawan could feel the heat rise to his pale face, heating the back of his neck. General Kenobi quirked an eyebrow at the boy, urging him to continue. Kestis sighed, gathering his thoughts once more. He was embarrassed. “I am afraid I am too attached to Master L/N.” He started. Anakin felt his lip twitch, fighting a smile at the honesty from the young learner. Cal continued, “I don’t want to let her down, but my lightsaber skills are not where she wants them to be, I need more training but I am afraid to ask.”

From the corner of his eye Anakin watched as Obi-wan opened his mouth. He knew what his old master would say: Just ask, Padawan. That is what the master is there for, to teach. But Anakin knew what it felt like to want more.

“I would be happy to provide you with additional combat training, Padawan Cal Kestis.” Anakin leant back in his chair, both hands happily resting behind his head, left ankle at home on his right knee, lips comfortably in a smirk.

Long game it was.

Your eyes scanned the meals room in the Temple for your Padawan learner. You knew that you could use the force to locate him, if you wanted. But, your relationship with Cal was still so new, and somehow that felt like encroaching on the young boy’s privacy.

Besides, there was another presence in the large dining hall that almost overwhelmed you. Anakin Skywalker.

Arrogant, talented, intelligent, calculated, The Chosen One, handsome, flirtatious. You weren’t sure where you stood with Anakin. You longed to call him friend, but you were ultimately convinced he saw you little more as a colleague.

Despite all that though, he was a hard man to escape at the best of times. And now, since Cal and Anakin’s Padwan, Ahsoka Tano, were friends, you knew that Anakin would always be around.

You couldn’t help the schoolgirl flutter that it striked into you. It was exciting, you supposed, to finally have something a bit easy on the eye about constantly. It certainly made the war a little easier, to do missions with Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker.

Eventually, Cal’s beautiful bright hair shone like a beacon for you. You began to weave your way across the room. You couldn’t help to admit that you’ve become attached to him, you deeply cared for him, his wellbeing. As much as you loved the Jedi, you often thought of Cal playing, running free with kids his own age. Not becoming a soldier on the front lines of an intergalactic war. Perhaps that was why you slacked on Cal’s training. You simply wanted him to be loved, to be happy, to be a child.

All of the fondness you held so tightly quickly got packed away once you realised who Cal was sat with. Approaching the breakfast table you clocked Anakin’s relaxed figure. The effortlessly beautiful set of his lips, the way that his eyelashes curled upwards, you were convinced his demeanour was larger than life. And, maybe, perhaps, you let your eyes wander for a beat longer than what was socially acceptable.

Gently you placed your hand on Cal’s shoulder, perhaps it was because you were his Master, or maybe it was something deeper, something maternal, but you always felt more at ease when you had him close. With a slight bow of your head, you opened:

“Morning to you Master Kenobi, Ahsoka.” You took a moment to lick your lips, your whole mouth had gone dry, but you tried desperately to save yourself from Anakin’s piercing gaze. “General Skywalker.” The rest greeted you verbally, but Anakin said nothing, just a simple tilt of his head. You held Anakin’s gaze, his blue eyes held something else in them, you felt like he was playing some kind of game. You didn’t mind game, but only if you knew the rules, and Anakin was one to make up the play as he went along. You felt Cal clear his throat, his body lurching under your hand.

Finally, you broke the contact with Anakin, ruffiling Cal’s hair, and placing his braid behind his ear. “If you’d excusae us, my Padawan and I have much to do.”

Anakin waited for at least 30 seconds for you and your Padawan to start walking away before he turned in his chair to follow you out with his eyes.

Ahsoka watched as her usually oh-so-clever and suave and calculating Master watch Cal Kestis and his Master leave the dining hall like a Lothal Cat waiting for its owner to return. She couldn’t help but smile, Anakin’s pining was hilarious, and Master L/N was a good choice. She turned to share a look with Master Kenobi, and to Ahsoka’s delight he was chuckling softly to himself, coving his smile with his hand, playing it off as if he was simply stroking his beard.

Ahsoka knew Anakin thought he was playing some kind of long game, but it was going to be a painfully long pining. Not if she was going to have anything to do with it.

------

P.S This is a side account, my main is @mayhemories, so I will be answering any comments with that account but rest assured it is still me :) <3

Much love, El.

#anakin x reader #star wars #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x reader smut #anakin smut #anakin x y/n #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker fluff #star wars x reader #anakin skywalker smut #anakin skywalker x you #anakin x you #cal kestis #the clone wars #star wars the clone wars #anakin skywalker clone wars #general skywalker

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eyelessfaces · 7 days

Text

uncalled for

summary: you get quite upset when poe "saves" your assigned mission by giving orders to your teams without consulting you; poe is determined to fix his mistake.

warnings: (public) arguing, talks of the future; family and having kids

tags: gn!reader, angst, being parents to bb8, fluff, this ends up being real sweet tbh

word count: 1.7k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

(uh yeah I'm back if you even noticed I was gone lol. I might just post this and disappear again for a little longer idk but anyways I'll explain the reason whenever I'm back for good; I'm okay don't worry, and I'm still gonna post fics don't worry it's nothing too serious fr)

It causes a disruption when you both barge into the hangar; despite the constant clattering and whirring of tools and material there, both your bitter shoutings have been overlapping the sounds ever since Poe started following you closely, right from the moment you hastily jumped out of your x wing to try to forget about the awful management of your mission that would probably cost you to never get to lead one again.

“It was my call, not yours” you affirm bitterly, voice dripping with resentment, your steps heavy and hurried as you try to shake Poe off but he is anything if not persevering, so it only manages to piss you off even more and fuel your frustration. “I didn’t need you to save my mission or whatever,” you exclaim, causing heads to turn as you walk across the large room, barely minding what is going on around you.

“I did because I knew it would work!” Poe tries to explain, still heeling you closely. “I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t sure it would be successful” he declares louder than he needs to, thrown off when you suddenly stop in your steps, turning to him.

“So you think you can make decisions for me? You think I can’t do it, can’t command a mission correctly?” you rhetorically ask, revolted, sighing a profanity under your breath before you storm off again, your steps resonating with frustration. Poe sighs and winces before he follows you again, taking a hold of your arm.

“Babe come on you know that’s not–”

You stop again, your patience running short. “You had no right to encroach on my orders, I knew what I had to do, and you stepping in with your own instructions could have blown the whole mission up!” you call out, pressing a finger to his chest.

It’s when you finally take a moment to take a look at his face that you realize it, what is going on; you are being the center of attention, the little show everyone stopped their current task to sit and watch, your every word carefully awaited by your unwanted audience.

You sigh softly, taking a moment to step back from the situation. “Now leave me alone before we embarrass ourselves further or before I tell you things I don’t really mean just because I’m angry and don’t wanna talk to you” you hiss softly before leaving Poe in the middle of the busy room where he watches you walk away, helplessly standing there.

When he looks around him, most people turn away and avert their gazes to pretend they haven’t witnessed anything, and Poe is well too aware of the tension still lingering in the air even as you exit the room.

When Jessika climbs down from her ladder after watching the scene from her cockpit, BB-8 rolls over to her and chirps sadly, having observed yours and Poe’s argument from afar just like most of the hangar after his master went running after you. She kneels down to the droid’s level, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“That’s gonna be fine Beebs, they always end up figuring it out somehow” she affirms as the droid’s upper part sinks in distress accompanied by saddened beeps. Jessika can’t help but smile fondly at him and his obvious concern, at the fact that he quite literally acts like you are his parents.

—

A few hours have passed when Poe joins you again; you don't notice him at first, having made sure to get focused enough on your paperwork to forget about the whole situation and try to ease the frustration within you. It's only when you put your datapad down that you see him leaning against the door frame.

“You're so pretty when you're focused” he smiles gently when your eyes meet his figure, causing you to roll your eyes and reluctantly smile at his words despite your lingering frustration.

“I’m still mad at you,” you sigh softly as you try to hide your slight smirk, gaze darting back down to enter numbers into your datapad.

He acknowledges your feelings with a nod, his lips pressed together in a tight line. “I know.” he admits, stepping into the room. “That’s why I’m here” You look back up at him, taking a deep breath as you set your datapad aside; despite the fact that everything he did since you wrapped your mission up got on your nerves, deep down you only wish for this to situation to get figured out and eventually be behind the both of you. You join him in front of your desk, leaning against it.

“I knew what I was doing. I was handling it” you affirm before he even gets the chance to do so much as open his mouth.

He holds a hand up to slow you down. “I know,” he nods understandingly. “I shouldn’t have redirected the plan, I should have trusted you. I was just afraid things would go wrong considering how it was all starting to go down so quickly” he explains. “I know I could have fucked it all up, everything you put in place so the mission could go right” you slightly tilt your head to the side in agreement.

“And I know my move was probably a lot more dangerous than the plan you had in mind to make everything right but you know I would never put you or our teams in danger, only myself” he declares with a concerned nod, causing your expression to soften. “You, never. I would never risk it, no matter what” there’s a soft frown over his face as his eyes flicker with sincerity, his confession making your heart ache as it hangs in the air before he talks again. “And I never doubted your ability to command a mission.”

You nod with a heavy sigh, acknowledging his apology. “I should apologize too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that either.” you admit and nod sheepishly, reflecting on your impulsive behavior. “I really wanted this mission to go right”

“For what it’s worth,” he starts with a small smile, trying to dissimulate a bigger one. “I talked about it with Leia and she thinks you did pretty good” his declaration doesn’t fail to draw an appreciative smile from you, one that makes him mirror your action. “And she thinks we would work great together”

“And I agree,” you reply, finally feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as the tension between you begins to dissipate. “We do make a good team.”

Poe’s smile widens, relieved to see you loosen up a bit. “Yeah, we do” he agrees with a small huff, stepping closer to you. “I just hate seeing you so worked up.”

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “I hate getting worked up,” you scoff.

“I’ll try to think about it twice next time,” Poe promises, reaching out to gently take your hand in his. “I don’t want to step on your toes or make you feel like I don’t trust you or your judgment.”

Your fingers intertwine with his, the warmth of his touch calming you further. “Well I’ll try not to snap at you,” you promise in return, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze as you let your head rest against his chest with a small, barely audible sigh. “Especially not in front of everyone,” you mutter, earning an amused chuckle from him. You melt into his touch as he leans to press a gentle kiss over your forehead, his hand that is not holding yours coming to wrap around you.

It is only after you pull away from his embrace and leave a chaste kiss to his lips that the corner of your eye notices a sort of spy in the corner of the door frame.

“What’s he doing here”

Poe frowns before he turns around, huffing out a laugh when he notices BB-8 peeking out the door. “How long have you been here?” he jokingly scolds his droid that fully reveals himself now that he has been caught. “You know he doesn’t like when we fight” he softly sighs turning back to you, a mix of amusement and concern in his eyes before he looks at BB rolling over the both of you.

You shake your head, unable to suppress your smile at BB-8’s presence. “Very sweet of him to be looking out for us,” you start, reaching out to pat the droid’s dome affectionately. “But maybe he should learn not to eavesdrop.”

BB-8 chirps playfully, obviously pleased with the attention, seemingly eager to be a part of the reconciliation.

Poe chuckles, kneeling down to scratch behind BB-8’s sensor with a fond smile. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll work on that,” he says before glancing back at you with a soft smile. “He's our kid, he’s been worried sick about us, weren't you?” he turns to BB, who's beeping frantically in agreement.

You glance at him, then back at Poe, a softness settling in your chest at the sight of them together, your little family. “Our first kid, yeah” you smile softly, heart fluttering inside your chest.

“First? Meaning there's gonna be more?” Poe asks with a playful smile, getting back on his feet. He raises his eyebrows as he awaits your response, and you both laugh at the sudden change of atmosphere as Poe wraps a hand around you before pressing a kiss to your temple.

You huff out a laugh at his quick jump to conclusion, “I don't know, you're a pretty good dad to this one,” you shrug.

“A couple hours ago I was dead to you and now we're talking having kids” he laughs into your hair, a teasing tone in his voice.

“You weren’t even close to being dead to me, you’re so dramatic Poe” you declare with a small scoff, poking his chest lightly. “That’s the reason Beebs loves you so much” you tease, making him huff out a laugh. “I’d say we should focus on surviving one parenting experience first,” you chuckle looking down at BB-8, nudging Poe playfully. “But who knows what the future holds?”

Poe grins, his eyes sparkling with excitement as his arm grasps tighter around his hold on you. “As long as I have you by my side, I'm up for anything babe.”

—

reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!

star wars masterlist: @lockleysgrl @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @campingwiththecharmings @mintgreen24 @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem @spxctorsslxt @friedwings @luxisluxurious @stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96 @unear7hly

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fic #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fluff #star wars #oscar isaac #oscar isaac characters #poe dameron angst

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sheisagoddess · 7 months

Text

𝙰𝙷🫦

#she is a goddess #anakin x you #tcw anakin #clone wars anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin angst #anakin x reader #anakin fluff #anakin and ahsoka #anakin icons #sw anakin #star wars anakin #anakin smut #anakin imagine #anakin and padme #obi wan and anakin #anakin fanfiction

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reverie-verse · 6 months

Text

Forbidden Attachments- Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Prompt:The reader was in love with Anakin, takes places after ATOC and the beginning of the CW and when Anakin has a padawan. You left the Jedi order because you thought Anakin was in love with Padme. You were in love with Anakin. You take off and live on another planet. Anakin, Ahoska, Obi Wan and Rex make a pit stop on your planet without even realizing it…

This is angst and fluff, I didn’t grammar check it per usual 😭 I gotta stop doing that. Ummmmm I was gonna write a part two that included smut, but then I thought it was too long. Soooo let me know in the comments if I should or not! Thanks, hope you enjoy!🫶🏽

My REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!!!!

——————————————

The day you left the order was the hardest decision you’ve ever made. It wasn’t because of false accusations or because you believed that the sith could help you achieve goals the Jedi couldn’t. No it was one specific rule, one specific code. Attachments are Forbidden. Love was forbidden and you were in love with Anakin, your best friend. It wasn't his fault, you couldn’t really blame him for it, not when there was a rule set for the Jedi. However it didn’t stop the pain that ripped through your chest and into your heart and mind. There was no easy way to handle it, the love that you craved only to realize he’s never cared for you the way you hoped.

It was a memory you wished you could forget. The day you watched Padme grasp Anakin’s arm, pulling him into her room, late into the night. The way he looked at her, as if she was the only girl in the galaxy. She looked up at him with a sweet smile, warm and welcoming, he let her guide him to her bedroom. It was an accident really how you stumbled upon them, you had just finished your nightly routine of patrol. Of course the entire time your mind was lingering on Anakin, but when you stepped into that hallway everything changed. You left swiftly with no hesitation, your mind bursting in chaos, your feet carried you to your room. Your hands getting ready to pack your bags. You felt a thousand emotions, you felt betrayed, you thought maybe you were wrong. You wished you could go back and erase it all. You loved him and your heart hurt realizing that it could never be. You knew leaving the order was stupid, there were more pressing issues than your stupid emotions. But you had already dedicated most of your life to the cause. You were selfish with your emotions. You chose to leave anyway….

You figured no one would come looking for you, that you could get away so easily, and by the time they figured you were gone it would be too late. You grabbed your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You knew the schedule of all the guards and both Anakin and Obi Wan’s. You knew by now that Anakin was still with Padme, he had the evening and night off. Obi Wan had retired to bed, but you knew he would be in the process of mediating. You slipped past the guards going through the back hallway, your movement quiet. You knew that you couldn’t take any of Naboo’s ships or your own which meant that you needed to travel into the outskirts. You found a speeder taking off into the city, traveling as far and as fast as you could go. You weren’t worried about anything other than getting off of this planet and away from Coruscant. Everything else will come later.

By morning Anakin had emerged from his bedroom, he was lucky he made it back in time before you or Obi Wan could notice he wasn’t in his room. His mind wandered back to Padme. The way she caressed his skin, touched him, the way he touched her, the way he kissed her…As he walked down the hallway towards the meeting area, Obi Wan was talking to a Nabooian guard, Captain Typho. Anakin squinted his eyes following Obi Wan’s hand, and in his hand was your distinguished sleek black hilt of a lightsaber and your Padawan braid. Obi Wan shook his head before turning away from Captain Typho. His eyes landed on Anakin’s, he sighed as he walks over to him, a heavy sadness echoed around him.

“ Master, what's wrong? Where is Y/N?”

“Anakin, Y/N never returned from her patrol last night. The ruminants left are her padawan braid and lightsaber. I am sorry” Obi Wan patted his shoulder, Anakin shook his head.

“ No then we must find out who took her!”

“ My young padawan, I’m afraid that’s not the case. It seems she’s left the Jedi order”

“She can’t leave, we still have our trials to finish, she can’t-“

“ But she has”

“ You’re wrong, she wouldn’t do that.” Anakin shakes his head, Padme who had been informed of the situation had walked over to offer her condolences.

“ Anakin, she made her choice, whatever reason it might’ve been, it was enough for her to doubt our practices. I am truly sorry, she was not just my padawan but my friend too” Obi Wan sighed again before turning away from his own padawan. Obi Wan could guess why you left, it was the same reason that he felt for Satine if she ever asked him to leave. Obi Wan was not blinded but he opted to remain out of personal affairs. Attachments always bring pain and heartbreak, it’s a hard lesson to learn when you’ve already crossed the threshold.

“Why would she leave, she would’ve told me if she planned to leave! We need to bring her back!” Anakin was in disbelief that you would just leave without so much of a goodbye. This wasn’t like you, to hide secrets from him, to hide your feelings from one another. The two of you were always good about that, and for you to just leave as if your friendship meant nothing. Padme placed a hand on Anakin’s arm, gently caressing it. Anakin subconsciously leaned into her touch hoping it might ease his pain that he felt, that ached in his chest and heart It only brought him momentarily relief. The rest of the duration of the mission, he focused on his trials, if you were there you would’ve made sure he passed. Anakin carried your lightsaber and padawan braid with him. As a reminder of you, but when the pain became too much he went right back to Padme…

———-

It’s been a year and a half since you’ve left the order, you found yourself a home on Aurea in the city of Shakamm Crater. Aurea is known for many trades and skills, it was a planet of opportunity. Though the planet was mostly known for its glasswork. You however were lucky enough to work as an artisan providing basic needs on droid or ship maintenance. You wanted the least exposing job that you could do and matched whatever skills you’ve learned in the temple. With much ease the planet you picked was filled with millions of people, which brought a comfort to you, to know that you would never be found.

It was night fall by now, you had gotten home maybe an hour or two ago, a small humble two story abode that was yours. Your home has an open floor plan, you were lucky to live on the edge of the city, you got to overlook the area and the outskirts. The climate based on the tropics, the vibrant colors of the sea, land and sky ease your aching heart. You wore a tank top and shorts to cool your body down, a gentle breeze swept past your light curtain. You walked over pushing the cotton material to the side, you sat down on the window seat. You leaned your elbow onto the windowsill resting your chin in your hand. The moon's light streaming through your bedroom. You shut your eyes staying in the present moment fighting off your memories of the life you once lived.

—

A brief image of you sitting near a window flashes through Anakin’s mind. He places a hand on his forehead, his eyes shutting just for a moment or two. Rex turned to look at his General

“ Sir are you alright?”

“ Yeah I’m just fine Rex” He grumbled. This has been a recurrence since you’d left the order, day and night you were on his mind. The visions or memories were often unprovoked. They happened during meditation sessions, randomly when he’s calm and relaxed. Even when he slept his dreams were only of you. Anakin wasn’t sure why it was like this, you’ve been gone for so long, yet you’re everywhere. His mind tormented him everyday and not a single person could help him ease his pain. Not his padawan, his old Master, not even Padme.

“ Wherever we are, I hope this place has a repair shop and a fuel station.” Ahsoka says as the transport ship rocks aggressively.

“ We are near the planet Aurea, let’s land in Shakamm Crater, they should have a station nearby” Obi Wan says as he checks the scanners.

“ Great” Anakin replies as he pressed a few buttons on the control Panel, Ahsoka and Obi Wan do the same. Anakin nods his head towards Rex. Rex began to slow down the ship as it passed through its orbit and then through its atmosphere. The sun’s burning glow hit the planet signaling that it was daylight.

“There’s a station up ahead” Anakin points out as he helps Rex fly the ship closer, landing it on a dock. There lied an assortment of ships, workers and droids, sparks floated in the air, sounds of mechanical noise sounded off in various directions. Workers shouted at each other from opposite sides of the station. Once the ship was landed, Rex, Ahsoka, Obi Wan and Anakin exited the ship looking for a worker to speak to. Obi Wan and Anakin both decided that this was their task. To be honest the task was rather easy, a worker walked up to them wiping off the grease from their hands.

“ We need new power sources, at least a new wing engine, we need fuel” Anakin lists off.

“Uh that’s gonna take at least a week or two to fix, what did you do get attacked by pirates or something?” The worker tells him and his partner.

“ Never mind that, We will pay you handsomely to fix it in a few days” Obi Wan offers.

“ What do you got in mind” The worker and Obi Wan continued their conversation, Anakin however drifted off, his eyes wandering the surrounding area, scanning for anything suspicious or unusual. Though that wasn’t exactly entirely true, he felt something, something specific, something familiar. Anakin wasn’t certain, but he could’ve sworn he thought he felt a familiar presence. Anakin searches through the force anyways, he wanted to make sure what he thought he felt was a lie. So he presses further his force hoping from person to person until he felt it again. This time it was more like a tug, a pull, something was drawing him in. His eyes followed that invisible line, leading to the very thing he dreamt of. It was as if time seemed to have slowed down incredibly, Anakin sucked in a breath, his chest tightening.

There you were burning bright as a thousand suns, the energy in which the force depicted you as. Anakin was captivated by your beauty. Your hair placed in a style that kept it from falling in your face, you had worn a uniform jumpsuit that the sleeves were tied around your waist, exposing your tank top. You had grease and dirt smeared on your hands, arms, and a little on your neck and forehead. Even with that you were still gorgeous. You were concentrating on your work. You sat down with one leg folded and the other leg dangling off the wing of the ship. You took apart one area of the top of the wing for another ship a few paces away. A worker had walked over shouting something at you. Your once serious expression turns into a smile, your lips form words before your unmistakable laughter leaves them. Your friend nodded as they threw their hands up in a dramatic gesture. They must’ve shouted something back at you causing you to shake your head and mouth something back. They had waved goodbye to you before walking away. You shook your head hoping off the wing. You reached for your backpack, looking up as you did so. What you hadn’t expected was there to be eyes already on you.

Anakin inhaled a sharp breath as your eyes connected, an unforgettable bond between the two of you snapping into place. The force grows tugging on each end for the both of you to meet in the middle. Your breathing picks up, your heart lurches forward breaking into the last few surviving pieces you had left. You didn’t want to admit that after all this time you still loved him. That he still looked as handsome as the day you first met. You realized that he no longer had a padawan braid meaning he passed the trials. He had a gloved hand, and his hair grew a few inches longer since the last time you had seen him. A scar cut from the top of his eyebrow to his cheek, his blue eyes peering into your soul. You had heard stories about him, and as he stood before you his reputation preceded him. He was intense as he had always been, but the boyish energy stayed, you could see it behind his eyes. always seemed to find a way to peer into your soul…You cut off your thoughts noticing that Anakin took a step forward, you took a step back, with so much distance between you two, you weren’t going to risk anything. The trust you had once was gone, the love you still felt you shoved back into a box.

Your eyes quickly scanned the people around him, Obi Wan and Ahsoka inch closer calling out his name, but his eyes stayed trained on you. Obi Wan mouths something to him but he doesn’t listen and says nothing. Obi Wan's gaze follows Anakin’s, his eyes landing on yours, he mouths your name. The slow motion of the world comes to a halt, reality bending back into its original form, you break out into a run. Anakin shouts to stay with the ship to Obi Wan and Ahsoka. Somewhere in between he shouts your name “ Y/N?!” You ignore him as you book it across the station for the exit. You pushed through people slamming into them by accident shouting out a sorry every now and then. You tried to dodge and weave, breaking out a zig zag pattern hoping to lose them. You had seen a speeder sitting on the side of the road, not caring who it belonged to, you threw your stuff in the back, climbing in the driver's seat. Once you started it, you took off, Anakin barely making it outside enough to see you disappear. Anakin’s eyes searched for another speeder to get into and he does. Anakin was relentless, he refused to let you go, not this time.

As you reached your home you clumsily parked the speeder rushing to get inside. You needed to leave here immediately, there were three Jedi and only you. Of course the council would send them to find you. You left without saying a word, you left during a mission. Maybe they would put you on trial or exile you or even send you to prison for disappearing. Foolish thoughts but very realistic possibilities, you had no idea what the Jedi were capable of. All you knew was that you didn’t want to go back. You stormed through your home running to grab your go bag that you had already packed in case of emergencies. Your heart had completely fallen apart, you loved this planet, you loved the people you’ve become friends with. You loved the work you did, and the home you lived in. What you hated was how easy it was for it to be taken from you within an instant. Your feet bounded down the stairs, you didn’t have time to take one final look at your home. You barely got to the front door, before it opened. Anakin stepped through the door, forcing you to take steps back.

You put distance between the two of you. Anakin seemed to follow you anyways. You took another step back as he took another step forward. He was silent, his jaw tense and set, his eyebrows scrunched together. He should feel shocked and surprised and excited to see you, but that all disappeared when you ran away, again. Now he was hurt and angry. He tried to corner you but you were smarter than that, you made sure there was space all around you. Anakin fought the urge to smirk even with his anger, a slight tint of playfulness etched through him. Almost as if he had drifted back in time to the many training sessions the two of you shared. You knew each other like the back of your hands.

“ Why did you run?” He asks you. At first it was meant in the sense of the earlier situation but really deep down he asked why you ran away without a second thought.

“ What do you mean why did I run? You brought two other Jedi to the planet I call home! You can’t expect me not to run!” You retorted.

“ No, you know exactly what I’m asking you! You were once a Jedi, the temple was your home!”

“ It was once my home…but I was never a Jedi.” You could feel the sad aching feeling in your chest. You fought back whatever emotions you had harbored for your old life.

“You’re wrong, you were always meant to be a Jedi. We talked for hours about what our life would be like. When we had finished our trials. To be Jedi knights, to become masters. We were supposed to do this together.“

“ Anakin, those were false pretenses, false dreams that weren’t meant to come true..”

“ Why are you saying this?”

“ Because it’s the truth”

“ it’s not the truth and you know it”

“But it is Anakin”

“ You’re wrong, why did you really leave?”

“ I can’t…”

“You can’t?”

“ No”

“ Why?! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“ Just let it go!”

“ No, I just I need to know”

“ Anakin” You shook your head as tears filled your eyes. You tried to make yourself look like the bad guy, as if you weren’t meant for the life of a Jedi. Really you avoided speaking about the love you held for him, in fear that he may still every well be with Padme. In fear that maybe he might feel the same for you. In fear that even when this is all said and done you’d end up alone, either in a cell or in your own home. You fought hard, to keep the tears at bay, your walls were slipping, you were exhausted, your past finally catching up to you.

Anakin could sense the war within yourself, he was breaking through to you, but even as out of practice you were, your mind created a barrier around itself, keeping your thoughts hidden. Anakin wanted to reach out, to caress your skin, to pull you into his arms, watching you hold back your own tears was heart wrenching. He watched as a tear rolled down your cheek. Your eyebrows scrunched in anger as you wiped the silent tear away with your hand. You crossed your arms around yourself turning away from him. Anakin takes a gentle step towards you. What had gotten you so crushed and defeated that you had to run away.

“ Tell me,” He whispers, pleading for an answer.

Your eyebrows twist as you place a hand over your mouth, you are on the brink of a melt down. Everything is settling around you, the reality of the conversation weighing heavier by the second. The forces of presence surround the both of you, enhancing each other's emotions and senses. Anakin takes another step, placing a hand on your shoulder. Your body tenses, for a moment you felt it all, the comfort you found within one another. The friendship you both built together, the love and warmth, the support, all of it. Only for a moment did you fully remember who your best friend was, only for a moment you remember who you used to be. The tears flowed with out warning, you adjusted yourself so you could stepped out of his grasp, his touch burned. But your heart betrayed you, it yearned for the touch that meant to soothe you.

“ Y/N” he whispers to you, calling your name out more ways than one.

“ I saw you with Padme” You whispered, turning to look him in the eyes.

“ What”

“ You both looked so in love-” You smiled sadly as the tears slid down your cheeks staining them.

“ How did you-“

“ I was on patrol that night. I didn’t mean to walk down the hallway, but I wanted the extra time to myself…I was torn between being a Jedi and being in love with someone I shouldn’t have. Then there the two of you were, and the decision was clear. I couldn’t have both, I couldn’t be a Jedi and be in love. I couldn’t be in love and be a jedi. I couldn’t talk to anyone, and if I did I would’ve been expelled or worse…So I left as quickly as I could” You sighed, whipped your cheeks, you shook your head as you looked at the floor. You could see the confusion flash on Anakin’s face. Anakin must admit it was a little bit easier to understand being in love, but now Anakin couldn’t grasp in his mind that you would be interested in anyone.

“ Who was it”

“ Who was what?” You sniffled your tears slowing down.

“ Who were you in love with?”

“ It doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t love me” You shrug, offering him another sorrowful smile.

“How do you know?”

“ Because I already told you I saw him with someone.”

“ You-you love me?” He takes a step towards you. Disbelief ripped through his chest, there was no way that you could be in love with him-You saw him with Padme, he caused you pain. Here you were crying your beautiful heart out, your tears filled with the unprofessed love trapped within you. You held onto it for so long choosing to remain silent. Anakin, blinded by the Angel he’d seen on Tatooine, forgot his best friend’s existence. You were there for as long as Anakin could remember. You gave him advice, you went along with his stupid yet ridiculously complicated plans that always seemed to work out in the end. You faced obstacles together, you were his support, and all that time you had fallen in love with him, while he became infatuated with the thought of an older woman, distracting himself from the possibilities of being with you. He failed to realize that you yourself were the guardian Angel sent to him not Padme. He was just blind by his own ambitions to see it.

You sighed as you caught on to the way Anakin internally blamed himself. You knew he was going over every thought, every moment, over analyzing where he went wrong. Yet here you were again, soothing his pain as you had as always done. “ It’s not your fault, I told you-it was my choice, my path-you had nothing to do with it-“

“ I told you it wasn’t just your decision.” It was different now, the year and a half you were gone gave him enough time to understand the reality of the situation. He took you for granted and he hated that. He knew deep down that he had always loved you. He just needed you to leave him to understand it. He took your face into his hands caressing your cheeks, his forehead leaning down to touch yours. There was a pull in the force that went unnoticed by the both of you, there was a magnetic pull, as if two puzzle pieces shifted into place.

He shakes his head, shutting his own eyes, the warmth of your skin against his flesh had driven him insane. The electricity that followed between the two of you was undeniable. What he had with Padme was nothing compared to what he felt right in this moment. He instead crashes his lips onto yours, the kiss becoming intensely passionate. At the same time the force finally found itself joining together binding itself to one another. Almost as if the two finally had molded into one. The once friendship bonding into a love that is bound together not just by them but through the force as if they were truly meant to be…The need for air pushed to the back of Anakin’s mind. Forget it he didn’t need it even if his lungs screamed at him. All he wanted was you to be around you. You however wanted to relish in the kiss but you couldn’t for too long, your mind wandered to Padme and how wrong this situation was. You pulled away in fact needing some air to breathe anyways, Anakin’s lips chasing yours.

“ Wait- wait -wait” You say breathlessly.

“ No, I can’t wait anymore” Anakin chases your lips again but you place your hands on his chest pushing him away, moving out of his hold. You take a few steps back.

“ We can’t ”

“Why not?”

“ Because you’re a Jedi and you’re in love with Padme.”

“ I’m not with her anymore, I broke it off with her when I realized there was nothing between her and I. I didn’t love her the way I love you”

You shook your head placing a hand on your forehead. “Ani..” you sighed again. His heart and chest burst with joy, he hadn’t heard that nickname in a long time, he wanted to hear you say it again.

“No, I lost you once and I don’t intend on losing you again. I can’t see myself living without you, if I did I’d be in agony all the time as I once was. Being a Jedi has nothing to do with the way I feel about you. Forbidden or not you’re the one I want to be with.“ Anakin whispers to you as he takes a step towards you. You crossed your arms over your body, watching his every step, holding your own breath.

“ You’d be willing to keep us a secret?” You asked

“ Yes if it means I get to be with you”

“ You know they’ll check the logs on your fighter to see where you’ve been-“

“Y/N, You’re not changing my mind” Anakin pries your arms from your body using it as leverage to pull you closer. You somewhat hesitate but he pulled you anyway. You had to internally admit it felt good to be in his arms, and the way your body began to relax gave that away. Anakin smirks as he looks down at you, your eyes wandering around his frame, your hands finding a place to rest themselves, your hands glide over his arms and shoulders before resting them around his neck. You felt comfortable there. Anakin rested his own arms around your hips and waist, his large hand moving to the small of your back to push you impossibly closer. Anakin leaned downward towards your neck and shoulders pulling you in a tight embrace. He inhaled your scent, and hummed as he exhaled. You were his comfort place, you were his home, he could finally breathe, his own body melting into yours. You carted your fingers through his golden hair.

“ You win” You huffed, Anakin chuckled and squished you even tighter, he just needed to hold you for a little longer. Anakin finally pulled away looking at you, another need flowed through him and somewhere else. He took your hand guiding you to your bedroom. “ Ani I stink, I think we should wait-“

“ I already told you I can’t wait”

“ What if Obi Wan finds my home and you in it, then what?”

“ We’ll be quick. I promise.”

“ Maybe I don’t want it to be quick”

“ So then I’ll take it slow”

“ Ani you can’t”

“ Y/N, I can”

“ Cant”

“ Can”

“ Cant”

“ I can too!”

“ No you cant”

“ You don’t know what I’m capable of” He retorts.

“ Oh please” You rolled your eyes. “You’re not even scary”

“ Wanna bet?” The banter between the two of you felt welcoming and genuine. It seems you’d missed more than just the teasing. Anakin pulls you into your room not giving you a chance to reply, he guides you towards your bed. You let him, his gaze becomes darker, you shake your head answering his question from earlier. For a moment you were going to give in, but then you shoved your hand into Anakin’s face pushing him away playfully.

“Nope, see not scary” You smiled, your moment interrupted by a knock downstairs. Anakin pleaded with you silently to stay. You smirked walking away, but not before he smacked your ass. You turned and glared at him to which he held a flirtatious smile of his own. The two of you had some explaining to do, with Obi Wan, Ahsoka and Rex waiting outside. Once you opened the door with Anakin directly behind you, you were welcomed with warm smiles, ones you hadn’t seen in a while. This was a dream, for you, you welcomed everyone into your home. You looked at Anakin one last time as he reached for your hand pulling you into him as the two of you walked towards the others. Who cares what the Jedi say, love is love, forbidden attachments are stupid as one might say. Right now everyone in that room doesn’t seem to mind, they all held genuine grins on their faces.

“ Master, won’t you introduce us?” Ahsoka asks.

“ Master?” Your eyebrows raise humor behind your eyes and smile.

“ What? I’m a master” He says smugly, you burst into laughter Obi Wan shaking his head at his once former padawans.

“ Y/N” Obi Wan warns. Ahsoka and Rex find the moment endearing, Anakin had met his match and they were here for it.

“ What, Okay you’re right I’m sorry” You waved your hand dismissing your behavior, clearing your throat. Anakin pinched your arm, to which you slapped away. Rex couldn’t contain his own laughter, and then the introduction, and recapping began. You offered your home and tea for the group, everyone could relax for a few hours. Sometimes we go through trials and tribulations to find tranquility…You guess you could say that you both found that today.

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