#anyway. i'm obsessed with them and their vibes and whatever the fuck they had going on in 3L.
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Ascended Astarion Headcanon
For the record, spawn Astarion all the way - if I ever ascend him it would be on an evil Durge run. Those two can have each other and be evil together, sure.
However.
The vast majority of Ascended Astarion fics that I've seen go along the following lines: Astarion becomes a cartoonishly evil villain, no common sense, no restraint, only flares of anger at the slightest provocation, just evil for the sake of being evil, senseless degradation of Tav who now lives in mortal fear of him, etc. And I think that is such an oversimplification.
Consider the following, at least with a non-evil aligned Tav:
[Btw I had the following typed up before the recent patch, and before seeing the vampire bride post, so if anything no longer checks out... Meh.]
More of a ruthless CEO / politician vibe for Astarion
Calculating, logical, more manipulative than ever
End always justifies the means, and whatever stands between him and what he wants can burn
Still not a details guy though
Still witty and has a sense of humor, but drier and without any trace of self-deprecation
Has more of a temper but is capable of restraining it
Incapable of love
I suppose I'm describing a sociopath, but perhaps not one at the very far end of that spectrum
Okay, you got me, I'm really grasping for straws here, BUT LET'S PRETEND, OKAY, LET'S PRETEND
Relationship with spawn Tav:
Basically views them as one might a prize racehorse or an exotic talking bird: pride, admiration (perhaps obsession is a better word), possessiveness, takes good care of them and ensures their needs are met, would rip off the arms of anyone that might hurt them
Still views them as his property or a possession, even if a favourite and treasured one
Still takes counsel from Tav, if reluctantly and with a likelihood to disregard it anyway, because remember - he is a logical being, and knows that Tav is the one person unable to betray him, who can be counted on to tell him the truth. Does not lash out at them for it. (okay, are you a Wheel of Time fan? Tav essentially becomes his Truthspeaker with filter-free privilege. There.)
Tav becomes a buffer between him and the rest of the world when he does have moments of rage-fuelled insanity:
"Darling, we can't block out the sun - the crops won't grow, animals will die, people will die, frankly everyone but us will die - what are you going to eat then?"
"My love, we can't decapitate the servants for accidents. Well-trained staff is so hard to find... Here, don't trouble yourself, I'll deal with them personally."
"Godsdamnit Astarion, what are we going to do with all these wolves?! They're shitting everywhere, put them away immediately."
Becomes the Yin to his Yang, so to speak
Tav accepts this role, as they know they are the only person with any sway whatsoever over Astarion
Tav yearns for pre-ascension Astarion, and is constantly searching for flickering glimpses of his soul, hoping he's still there, somewhere
Ominous locked door parties with the nobility? Oh absolutely, Tav's all about that though. Fuck the police. Eat the rich.
#astarion#bg3#baldur's gate 3#astarion x tav#astarion headcanon#ascended astarion#and then they fucketh nasty style
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"Hermit craft" and other ccs because they are cool. STAR WARS AU (I think imma do different ones depending on like Prequels, Sequels, and Present or whatever it's called yk, droids, Vader and Kylo)...? Unsure I'm just doing Vader now.
*Cries in the amount of research I'm going to have to do*
Xiuma and Mumbo -> def mechanics, ships repairing, Mumbo never drove any of his fucking ships, he would suck as a pilot, Xiuma is good at it tho!
Grian -> one of the best, if not the best pilot in the galaxy -> does bro have the force? Yuh, does he know or use it? Nuh uh also Pearl's sibling, they got separated when little.
Scar -> co-pilot of Grian, has a motored wheelchair, he's the most curious one out of the two. He is the one that tells Grian to do something and join the rebellion.
Doc ->maybe some imperial scientist of some kind???? He scares me.
Scott... You scare me but! Leader potential? Scavenging with Cleo, Scott -> the brain, Cleo -> them muscles, she's a skilled blaster fighter, possibly Mandalorian..? We're there mandalorians of that species....?????Cleo is a Togruta def.
Pearl -> definitely started off as a Padawan, sister of Grian -> = older (aka, yes the gist of "mf is too old to be trained, but his sister ain't, YOINK"), yeah he was not pleased. Pearl basic doesn't remember him, like, she knows she has a brother somewhere, but yk. Yeah so, Master dies, obviously 🙄, cause you know order 66, still debating who that should be... Uhhhhh Maybe Impulse? Yes you're dying boi. Be sad. Someone has to. So yeah, she escapes, and then I'm going to presume she's going in hiding... With another surviving Padawan... Maybe Gem, yeah. Yeah shiny duo why not. So they go into hiding, they survive by themselves, somehow, a bit of thievery never hurt anyone... Oh wait.
Anyway happiness doesn't last.
Bye bye Pearl, to get captured and become a sith you gooo.
Sorry Gem <\3 you'll see each other again.
While Pearl is "busy" turning to the Darkside and Just not having s good time, Gem joins the rebels, not revealing her past, he's lightsaber was broken during her qnd Pearl's escape after all. She does still have her Kyber cristal (green..? They focus more on defending to my knowledge, plus healing? Something like that) Pearl's used to be blue.
So yeah, Gem joins the rebels, where she does missions here and there and meets people like Tango.
Tango -> Pilot, and one of the leaders of a small squad that usually does ambushes to the Empire. (This is due to how fucking mental this guy was with EVERYTHING last season, he deserves to have a leading and planning spot)
Etho is a spy for the rebels. No questions asked. He is. Why? Don't exactly know...? He gives me spy vibes. Mf works for the Empire but is a double agent.
Joel and Lizzie have a bar where they try to keep it neutral, they don't enjoy the empire but don't want to risk loosing what they have to actively fight. They do hide rebels from time to time and share some rations. They know Tango, since he's the one who usually contacts them and also hid there a couple of times. They also know Etho since he goes there whenever he's dispatched to the planet.
Yes. The "Etho stop being obsessed with me" joke lives on.
Now... Owen. You sir. Terrify me. You're very scary as a villain but very adorable as a hero which you know what that means.
BETRAYAL.
oh this mf is playing the rebels like fools!
Nobody suspects the nice mechanic and co-pilot to be an imperial spy... Definitely didn't install a tracker on the ship AND the droid.
Grian and scar + Cleo and Scott + Etho, Gem, Owen all know each other.
Cleo and Scott do not care to join the rebellion and probably never will.
Scar convinces Grian to help.
Etho squad and Scott team have often had fights because of one stealing stuff before the other.
Joey is a pirate with Sausage, Skizz and Martyn. The often had fights with literally all of the other teams.
Ren -> imperial general.
Jimmy -> you know what..? Bounty hunter. And you may think. Jimmy..? A bounty hunter? Bro u cray cray, Nuh uh. Listen. Listen. He's not HORRIBLE at his job, he's not super great either. But he does get enough cash to survive.
Now. Who has a bounty on them..?
Literally everyone I mentioned tbh-
But for plot, and because you guys love flower husbands, I'm gonna go with Scott.
So yeah goofy bounty hunter×the one mf who keeps on slipping away.
And yes, he does go to Joel bar to complain and Joel keeps on taunting him about it.
Ok now.
We did flower husbands.
So I think it's time for the Nature wives.
Shelby is indeed a force user... Or maybe a Witch from Dathomir??? Or maybe.. ok.
Let's say.
She goes to Dathomir.
And like, I remember basically nothing about that so please don't come for me for inaccuracies.
If I remember, from Star wars fallen order (I have not played survivor yet.), the witches are dead. Except one yk, our beloved girlypop, so idk if I should do Shubble being the last one, and meeting Katherine as she crashed down on her planet. Or idk.
Also Katherine is a princess 100%
Think about her like Leia, cool, badass, and fights, I'm thinking for her to be a Mandalorian, because fighting you know. Wither that or she's just the princess of idek. My memory of the planets and systems is very limited ok? I'm very bad with names...
So yeah, maybe a bit of a black lightsaber situation could happen? Idek.
BigB and B-Dubs... I again have no idea.
I don't watch these two- they could be bounty hunters...? Merchants...???? Mercenaries....???? No clue- I mean, I have basically 0 villains planned but I don't think either of them could be an inquisitor or a general/commander of some kind- and I don't know how I wanna do the stormtroopers so... They could be Jedi masters? Maybe one died and the other didn't? Maybe they both died to protect the Padawans? Maybe they're both alive..???? Ughhhhhh ToT
I definitely need to put more villains-
But I don't wannaaaa ToT like sure, the pirate gang, sure, bounty hunter Jimmy.
But the inquisitors brooo.
Like other than Pearl idkkk
She slays so hard she doesn't need other inquisitors-
Like idek know who to make the BBEG
cause like... Scott could definitely be Vader ok. I know. I Know........ And Cleo be an inquisitor??? But I like Jimmy and Scott possible dynamic as bounty hunter×that one mf-
Likeeee arghhhhh
Ren is just too Goofy to be plays as a BBEG
Owen just has to betray someone ok? He needs the switch up.
Uhhhhhh...
Literally idek-
Do I randomly put Kier and Dev into this???
Quackity?????
Philza and Tommy could definitely be Jedi Master and young Padawan...
Like Ranboo is not giving villain.
Technoblade definitely would but, I don't want to put him in... In case I get yelled at TwT
Niki could be an inquisitor- definitely giving "the Jedi are corrupted at and so I decided to kill them all as revenge for taking away my childhood and my right of choice". So yeah.. definitely a "Padawan indoctrinated by the Darkside becomes inquisitor". Kinda like Pearl? But she didn't get tortured- it was kinda her choice sooooo. I guess I'm putting Niki in
FableSMP members???? Do I just put Fable as the BBEG????He could be more like Palpatine than Vader tho, since the manipulation and being well, powerful as fu- like, he works...Ok now I have ideas for FableSMP characters... Enderian would def be a witch of Datomir, my only issu with that is that I don't exactly know how that would work with Centross.
But. For what does work.
Wolf/Fenris??? Idk how it's written.
Used to be an imperial general, betrayed Fable. When he realized his kingdom was not safe even if he stayed with him.
Rae -> in this universe Enderian is out of the picture, like not even mentioned, sorry girly.
Rae is the child of Isla, who was the queen of whatever because again, this is just me writing down dumb ideas. So, Rae and Icarus were sent away when he was little by Isla, who wanted to keep him away from the empire's arms due to his connection to the force.
Icarus -> older sibling to Rae, has no connection to the force, (no Quixis, you're not doing shit this time >:(), when them and Rae were sent away, they didn't understand why fully. As he got older they resented Rae because they felt like if Rae didn't have a connection to the force then they'd be able to be a family. But that resentment soon moved to the force itself, the stores about the Jedis, the sith, all that chaos. They don't know exactly how to help Rae, all they can do is try to protect him from the empire. (I'm giving Rae and Icarus a good-ish relationship ok? We all need that)
Momboo and Ocie -> are sisters, both use the force and both were trained by the Jedis, needless to say they are not like 20 yo, I think imma make them around 35/40..? (Safe to say Icarus and Momboo won't have a relationship.No.)
They both survived order 66 but got separated.
Now for the angsty part.
Momboo during her travels tried to find and protect kids gifted with the force. She would then proceed to die, leaving Jamie and Uhh fuck I don't remember their name, well, her other kid ok? With one message, to find Ocie, she could help them.
Ocie did not have as much maternal instincts as her sister, but, she picked along a small child, Oscar, a child made orphan by the empire. I'm figuring out the species still. She would settle down, she thought she was away from everything, that she could heal. Then Momboos kids came, and boom, training arc for those little shits. (/Sarcastic /not mean /please I'm not serious)
Centross -> now, I know in FableSMP he's not on Fable's side but Enderian's, the problem with that is that I think that the only thing that fits Enderian is a Dathomir's witch. And I don't exactly know how that could work. Like sure, let's make her a sith, but she's supposed to be like on Fable's power level, and she's definitely not a Jedi. So. For Centross, he could 100% be an inquisitor. 100% not even questioning it. This is based upon when he was violet reaper, yes yes, I am aware he was not on Fable's side, but I believe Fable is more fit as Palpatine than Enderian, sorry girlboss. Also sorry Centross, you're not getting a redemption arc.
Origin members..?????? (Except you know who ofc)
Do I just mix up some Steve Saga like- I CAN'T DO THAT YK.
Like so many but yet arghhhhh
Idkkkkk
So many possible heroessss.
Like the only ones I KNOW could be great villains for sure are Pearl, Scott, and Owen. And Scott and Owen are the only ones who I could see as the BBEG.
But again, you know... TwT
Can't use Scott, Owen is already a traitor, unsure if he should be using the force.
And Pearl is just- s c a r y but she will have a redemption arc so yk.
Ughhhhh
Like Gem could also have villain potential but likeeeeee
®×`]?×¢{§`}~[¢÷!4(&(&(2)
I will maybe get more ideas in the future once I've done more research.
Please this is just a draft so don't come for me and the inaccuracies. I'm not even sure I'll actually bother to write an actual storyline, this is for funzies. Also the ages of characters might vary from the originals because again, this is an AU.
Also if anyone sees this and knows how to write and for some reason does anything with this, cool! :DDD it's not gonna happen, but cool!
#minecraft#mctv#minecraft rp#pearlescentmoon#hermitcraft grian#hermitblr#hermitcraft#geminitay#jimmy solidarity#scott smajor#dangthatsalongname#empires smp#fablesmp#centross#rae morningstar#icarus morningstar#heyhay13#au idea#star wars#star wars au#jedi#sith#grian#goodtimeswithscar#mumbo jumbo#fable smp momboo#fable smp ocie#possible fanfic idea#owenjuicetv
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Sooo imagine reader/ y/n escapes, they get to an island for a couple months evade capture but then marinford happens and the wb pirates are disbanded/scatters or doin there own thing but one of them end up on the same island as y/n with the obsession still intact and finding them again has rekindled it even more.
How would they react on when they're alone without the other's input?would they contact each other and group up? what would be going through their heads?
(yan au where everyone survives except wb)
💧-anon
(feel free to completely ignore my ramblings but i have so many things i think ab and need to tell/ask ❤️)
I feel how someone would react would depend on the crew member. I'm not going to hit up everyone, just my usual suspects, so bear with me.
CW: Yandere, dub con / non con vibes, nothing explicit a lot of what ifs and summaries.
Marco would not contact anyone else. I love this man, but Yandere Marco is POSSESSIVE. He shares you with his brothers only because they are his brothers. If no one else ended up on this island with you and him then that's a them problem, and not HIS problem.
Depending on the manner of your escape would depend how Marco was, but regardless of if he thinks you left or were stolen away, he'll be delighted to have you back. You'll never leave his sight again, and if you do have to be away from him for any reason he'll make sure he knows where you are.
You will drown in him, whether its his love or his anger, but he will mark you, fill you up, and leave you exhausted and delirious more than not.
Ace would contact the others. He'd be so relieved to see you safe, and whether anyone else thought you left, he'd be convinced it had to be against your will. He'll be seeking reassurance to that end, and if you're smart you're going to give it to him. Shore up your story if you need it with Ace's help, because the other will be far harder to convince, even if what you're telling is the truth.
Whatever happens, and however things play out though, you'll always run into Ace. He'll pop out of the ground like a fucking daisy sometimes, scaring the hell out of you even though that wasn't his intent. But playful or endearing, don't think for a second it's accidental.
If you don't reassure him, if you do tell him you left because you wanted to, his reaction will be worse. He'll claim you as his and you'll probably have burn scars by the time the others arrive. It'll take Marco weeks to get you back into some sort of semblance of who you were - assuming he can even soothe the scars.
Thatch will let you set the narrative, and hell he'll even let you decide if he reaches out to anyone else or not. If you want to elope with just him, he'd be more than happy to oblige. He doesn't mind sharing with his brothers, but he won't deny such a heart felt confession and plea from you either.
He's likely to do to you what Marco would, making love to you until you're a pile of mush, exhausted and almost out of your mind. His stamina far exceeds your own, and he has months of catching up to do, he's missed you so much. And don't worry, he'll feed you and make sure you're hydrated, even clean your home, and earn money, you'll be too tired to worry about any of that anyway.
With Izou in the mix the rope burns on your joints are apt to become permanent. It doesn't matter if you say you didn't want to leave, you'll never be able to be taken away so easily ever again. He'll let the others know about you, and your fate will probably be decided by committee.
You will be under the influence of something when you're questioned, so unless you're really good at lying that's not going to be an option here. You're likely to survive your punishment, for better or worse, but whatever island you end up on with everyone (whoever constitutes everyone), the islanders are going to understand your position in the crew. Or misunderstand it.
but the only friends you'll have will be the brothers that take care of you. You'll want for nothing, save maybe freedom.
#quin answers#anon asks#yandere#cw yandere#reader insert#x reader#marco the phoenix#izou one piece#thatch one piece#portgas d ace
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Okay guys, I can't believe it's been a full year since I published the first chapter of my first fanfiction story and I'm still going strong today. - (Side note...it was actually yesterday but I wanted to get all my fics posted to AO3 so I could get an accurate word count and tell you all what I've done so...it took me an extra day)
This is going to be a really long post, and I thank everyone in advance for reading all the way through if you make it. I'm taking a moment to allow myself to talk about my accomplishments over the last year, my goals for this next year, and gas myself up just a bit. As an artist, it's really hard to talk about myself in a positive light without being critical, but I'm going to do it anyway. No one asked, but this is one of the ways I wanna celebrate my ficversary so...I'm gonna do it lol.
My First Fanfic Ever
I'd like to start by sharing my beginnings with writing. If I really think back to the very first fanfiction I wrote, I thought it was a Gorillaz fic (which I still have a handwritten copy of in my closet lol), but it wasn't. I think the very first fanfic I wrote technically was a Pirates of the Caribbean fic when I was 11. I didn't even realize that's what it was, I just knew that I was SO into POTC that I wanted to write about it. It had just come out by the way, so I'm really dating myself. This was...2003.
We had this thing we had to do for school, it was like a writing assignment or something, one of those big ones that they gave you, a standardized whatever. I managed to find a way to spin it into a POTC related thing and I went OFF writing this story. It had its own twists and turns unrelated to POTC, but it was a fanfic through and through.
The Beginning of My Fan Art
When I was 12 I started listening to Good Charlotte, to a point that it was my entire personality. Everyone who knew me, knew I loved them. Every fucking art project I had in middle school (7th and 8th grade) was revolved around this band, particularly Joel Madden.
My love for them has come and gone, but I still remember how I felt at the time (not unlike how I feel toward Oscar Isaac now lol). I mean my art teacher literally had to be like "I want you to branch out, you can't make everything about them." And as an adult, I'm wondering -why the fuck not but- ...I digress.
The First Fanfic I Ever "Published"
When I was 12 (or maybe closer to 13), I became OBSESSED with the Gorillaz. When I say obsessed I mean...I listened to the album Demon Days on repeat until it fucking broke. I changed my G's when I would write by hand to match the G in their logo. I made tons of fan art and it was a damn vibe. This was the first time I really discovered fanfiction and learned what it was.
I remember reading one fanfic from some girl on this website (I'm really dating myself here, some of you will know what site this is...) Quizilla. Quizilla was THE site at the time (other than LiveJournal I think, but I never used LiveJournal and didn't know it existed at the time) for fanfiction and what you would now call "buzzfeed quizzes". This girl's writing inspired me to write my own fanfic, which I handwrote and kept in a green folder which, as I said, I still have to this day sitting in my closet.
My very first fic, and yes at 13, included some romance, some non-con (don't fucking ask me why idk even how I knew about that at 13. I was never exposed to this type of thing as a child fortunately) and other nonsense. I published it on this site, and it made me really happy. I don't remember if anyone ever read it or not tbh, but it will forever hold a place in my heart <3
My Best Friend/Emo Era
I met my best friend in high school when I was about 14. She and I are still close to this day. Not as close, but I can still tell her my most unhinged thoughts and she loves me regardless. We met because we both wrote fanfiction and lost our minds over the fact that we did. Thus started my emo era.
She was into My Chemical Romance, and I was into The Used. 2005 was a time lol. The two of us had either a binder or a composition notebook where we'd handwrite our fics and pass them back and forth between classes. I still have the ones I wrote tucked away in my house. When we'd read them she and I would leave little notes in the margins like we all leave comments today.
Most of these fics never got published, they were just for us to enjoy. I did, however, publish a fic when I was about 15, that I wrote to completion. Quizilla ended up going down, and most of us moved to Mibba.com instead, which is still a website.
Edit: I looked at Mibba, and it looks like the website is still there, but you can't search for anything, so Mibba is gone too. Not gonna lie, broke my nostalgic heart just a bit to see...Some fics I wrote on there will be gone forever. Maybe for the best, but it's still kinda sad.
The Avenged Sevenfold Era
When I tell you that Avenged Sevenfold has been my favorite band since I was 15, I'm dead ass. Are they the best band ever? Not by a long shot, but damn the way I still lose my shit over them is unhinged. Anyone who was around during this time fucking knows...they were fucking HOT. Matt Shadows really had the bulky but not shredded body type going on, they all kinda did, and I'm so here for it.
Why I'll never post any of the fics I wrote during this time, even if I get my hands on them...
I wrote them when I was 15, and I was writing about things 15 year olds shouldn't write about.
You don't know cringe until you've read those fics.
It's about real people and I'm not a fan of rpf anymore. I'm all for writing whatever you want and fiction being fiction but there's something that gives me the ick about real people fiction. No offense to anyone who writes it, that's just my feelings.
The way these guys had a hold on me for the next 5 years was ridiculous. I wrote about them a lot, by hand, on my laptop, however I could. I had so many unhinged ideas and stories it's insane. I loved every minute of it, and I always look back on this as my true start into fanfiction.
The End of an Era
All good things come to an end. After graduation, my best friend and I stayed in touch, but grew apart. I went to college and continued writing fanfic. I was pursuing a major in graphic design with a minor in creative writing. I was convinced that even though I was writing fanfiction, I was going to write a book too and it would be a bestseller.
As time went on, probably when I was about 20 or 21, I kinda stopped writing fanfiction all together. My friend wasn't really writing it anymore, and the community around Avenged Sevenfold was slowing down. I was also in the middle of a breakup and it was a whole thing, so I kinda stopped writing around this time.
I'd also, unfortunately, felt like fanfiction was for kids/teens, so didn't feel the need to continue writing anymore. I didn't want to seem like a loser writing fanfiction in my twenties...so I didn't.
For the record, you're not a loser for writing fanfiction. It's a very valid artform and it's fun. We only live for so long, so enjoy it doing what makes you happy, period. I'll probably be writing in my 50s I fucking hope lol.
Anyway, at that time, that's how I felt. I now know it's bullshit to think that way. So fanfiction fizzled out for me, and I kinda moved on to other things.
My Not-fanfiction Era
What was I doing instead of writing? Going through an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship, working on trying to build what I thought was the 'dream' (marriage, kids, a house, e.t.c.), working and playing video games.
Fortunately that relationship ended. After years of therapy (which he told me I needed because he gaslit me into thinking I was crazy lol), I grew the balls to finally tell him to fuck off and leave. It was the best decision I ever made, especially considering this was JUST before COVID hit. I shudder to this day thinking about the fact that I was almost stuck in a house with that freak during lockdown.
When that relationship ended I moved back to Maine to be with my family. I missed them and had spent basically my entire 20s in another state with some loser.
Back to Fanfiction - Kylo Ren Era
So how did I get back here? How did I get back into writing and creating fan art? The truth is, a switch literally flipped in my brain over this guy right here...
I mean...
The funny thing is, I wasn't SUPER into Star Wars before this. I liked it, I'd seen the sequel trilogy in theaters, but to me it was just a movie series. I was literally watching a Sam Collins video on YouTube where he made fun of a Kylo Ren cosplayer's thirst trap on TikTok and was like...oh that's actually kinda hot.
Thought nothing of it though, just moved on with my day...until I dreamt about him too. And then I felt this spark inside me that I couldn't shake. I literally was like...👀 something is happening here.
So I remembered this feeling from when I was a teen and recognized the impending obsession immediately. I actually googled "is fanfiction still relevant" and "is it ok to write fanfiction as an adult?"
The short answers are - yes - and - of course it is -. This was how I discovered the VERY popular Kylo Ren fic Fix Your Attitude by Kassanovella. I read it in a matter of a week, and in that time I started writing my own fic. I also rewatched ALL the Star Wars movies, and then continued rewatching the sequel trilogy on repeat just so I could get Kylo Ren's character down. I wanted to make sure I captured his voice and personality perfectly. - When I say I watched the sequel trilogy 20 times, it's not an exaggeration, I had it on constantly.-
The fic I wrote was called, Yes, Master
The first chapter of that fic was published on 09/05/2022 (one year ago today), and the last chapter was published on 10/14/2022 with a word count of 100,701. Not only is it the longest fic I've written of all the fics I've done, but it's the one I wrote the fastest. I was posting a chapter a day every day until it was finished. I mean...I literally went OFF on this story. I was so proud of it that I went to lulu.com and made myself a physical copy of it that I intend to read as part of this celebration I'm doing lol.
Wondering if anyone would be interested in me revamping this story (rewriting and updating it) and posting here? I would definitely do it if there was enough interest.
I then wrote a sequel called By Your Side which taught me SO MUCH. Here's what I learned when creating this sequel...
Not everything needs a sequel.
Writing a chapter a day isn't realistic.
I should've planned a full outline before diving into this fic.
I'm not into pregnancy fics/domestic fics all that much as far as longfics go.
It's okay to genuinely dislike something you've written and you should try to learn from that.
By Your Side is still to this day one of my least favorite fics (if not my LEAST favorite). I am still proud of myself for finishing it, (it sits at a hefty 85,599 words). I don't have to love it though. I'm just grateful for what I learned in the process of writing it and proud of myself for finishing it despite being sick of it by chapter 8 and still writing 20 chapters after that.
I also wrote my very first Yandere fic, Just You. It's a bit darker, in my opinion, than The Fractured Moon. This fic was a blast to write, and it felt very freeing to write something so disturbing. It was fun to just let myself get into a dark headspace without holding back and not feeling bad about it. It was more
The Rainbow Six Siege Era
During my time writing for Kylo, I went back to a video game I used to play a lot, Rainbow Six Siege. My Oscar Era bleeds into the Kylo and R6S era a little but I'll talk about that soon.
The Siege fandom was an interesting one...one that I'll probably not go back to much, though I may still write a little fic for it here and there as I feel inspired to. I won't dive too much into this as I know most of you are Oscar fans, but I'll mention my accomplishments here and the things I learned.
I wrote another novel-length fic for this fandom called The Recruit and the Hunter which has another 83,888 words. I actually LOVE this story, and still look back on it fondly. It was a fun one to write, and I really challenged myself to write less smut for it, and I succeeded. It focused heavily on the relationship that built between the main pairing and in my opinion it's one of my better slow-burns I've done.
Why did I leave this fandom?
Well, I'm not going to throw shade, I don't like doing that unless I have to, so I'll keep it brief. The long and the short of it is this...
The readers were getting EXTREMELY demanding. I have comments on RATH of people saying things like "I'm going to be upset if you don't give us a happy ending" and "there better be smut or I swear...". It can get really discouraging as a writer when people seem to say "I love your fic but I'll only continue to love it if you do xyz." It puts us in a dilemma, and makes it hard for us to find a balance between providing fan service, and doing what's fun for us to write. It definitely changed the outcome of RATH and I'm not happy that I gave in like that.
The requests I got were confusing and downright weird. I didn't do some of the really weird ones, and I'm not meaning to kink shame, but it was just very niche things that I couldn't get myself into. I think part of why I felt obligated to provide fan service like I mentioned in the point above, and why I caved and wrote some fanfics for these more unique requests, is because this fandom is very small, and I felt an obligation to provide.
Some of the other writers in the fandom are fucking rude. I'm not going to mention names, like I said, but I had very poor experiences with several writers in the fandom, and since I was also integrating into the Oscar fandom at the time, I could see a stark difference in the way I was being accepted in one, versus the way I was being pushed away in the other. There aren't a lot of x reader writers in the R6S fandom, and I was one of them, and there seems to be some animosity between the people who ship characters, versus the people who write x reader and that's where this mistreatment came from. I don't know, I tried making friends over there, and felt like I was getting pushed out.
So anyway, it's not for me anymore, but I still think back to certain parts of it fondly, and I may write a little more here and there as I see fit.
The Oscar Isaac Era
This really is THE era, isn't it?
As I was working on the last 10 or so chapters of Yes, Master, and after my 12th time rewatching the sequel trilogy movies, I started to fall for Poe Dameron, naturally. How could I not? I mean look at him...
So I decided that I would give Poe a prequel to my Yes, Master story called One Hell of a Pilot. This fic was so fun to write, and it's how I became involved with the Oscar Isaac community in the first place. Immediately I started following Dee, and through her I found Mona, and it was just snowballing from there. Whitney and Romana were some of the first to follow me and my shenanigans.
In December, which is when I started writing One Hell of a Pilot, another novel-length fic that ended with 80,517 words, is when I started reading Dee's fics, along with Mona's and many others. I saw their interactions and felt excited by the prospect of making new friends who were just as into some of this stuff as I was. A place that I could be myself and lose my shit over this idiot and not be judged.
I had no idea what the hell I was getting myself into.
It all started with a fic that Dee had written, I can't remember which one, probably a dbf!Santi fic, and I asked the innocent question of...
What movie is this from?
Oh shit...I didn't realize what the fuck I was getting myself into. After she told me it was Triple Frontier and I should watch it, my brother and I watched it right away. I told him a friend of mine suggested it. The way we spent the entire 1.5 hours laughing at how bad it was is still a memory I hold dear to my heart. I still didn't know at the time that this loser (Oscar my beloved) would hold a place in my heart from that day on.
My first Santi fic was a headcanon about Santi w/ a plussize reader that I called Preciously Plump. A headcanon that later got a full fic, appropriately named Preciously Plump the One-shot.
So then I read something about Moon Knight, and between Dee and Mona shoving me into it (peer pressure ftw) I caved and watched the show.
Phew...
That gave way to the first Moon Knight fic I ever wrote, How Unexpected which came out on January 3rd, 2023 of this year. I was sure that between Steven's adorable nerdy behavior, and Marc's tough exterior, I'd be head over heels for those two. I was nervous to even TOUCH Jake, because I didn't know shit about his character, and the last thing I wanted to do was write a character without it sounding like them.
I was also afraid at the time of writing the Moon Boys with DID because I didn't know anything about it, and I didn't want to misrepresent something like that. After some time went by, I got my bearings, and started working on A Bit Dodgy.
ABD is definitely one of the fics I'm most proud of. I had learned a lot from my past fics I'd written, Yes, Master, e.t.c., and figured out what it was that works best when I'm writing to not only keep myself interested, but to create a good balance between smut for smut's sake, and pushing the story forward.
When I first started writing ABD, I was sure it was going to be a 30-40 chapter fic, but as I started writing it more, I realized quickly that a lot of the chapters were just porn. Is there anything wrong with that? No...but as someone who's written nearly a million words in this past year, I don't feel the need to draw my chaptered fics out with smut just to say I wrote something x chapters or x words wrong.
That's why ABD ended up getting cut down SO MUCH from my original plan. I just made some decisions that I felt maximized the story more and used the smut as a major plot device, rather than the fic revolving around smut as the plot...if that makes any sense lol. I'm happy to say, that as of today, A Bit Dodgy has concluded, though it's the only fic I've ever finished with such a heavy heart.
I was an Oscar stan HARD after that, diving into Sucker Punch and other silly little movies filled with that silly little man whom I love so so much.
Statistics
Numbers aren't important when it comes to kudos (AO3) and likes (Tumblr) so I'm not focusing on those. What I am going to focus on...is my personal accomplishments. Like I said, I don't normally toot my own horn, but I fucking wrote A LOT this year, and I'm going to take a minute to pat myself on the back.
So NOT including my random blurbs (since I'm not bothering to cross-post those)...
My total word count from 09/05/2022-09/05/2023 is (drumroll please):
791,829 words
OH
EM
GEE
I had thought I would've hit a million by now but I am NOT going to complain. By the grace of the horny demon that runs the smut factory in my brain, I've written more than I ever even thought possible.
In the Moon Knight fandom alone, I've written:
238,950 words
I think the only fandom I've written more for is Star Wars, but I'd have to add it all up and I'm not doing that rn haha.
Just kidding it's:
368,566 words
----
I wrote 6 novel-length fics, a total of 147 works, MK holds the record for most fics I've written at a whopping 82 fics!
----
It's shocking to look back and see what I've accomplished, and to look forward to seeing what else I can do. I know that this next year I won't have the same word count, probably not even close.
I'm focusing a lot on drawing now as well as writing, plus I'm working on my first novel that I'd like to publish so things will definitely be slowing down. I'm going to continue writing, but the speed at which I churn out fics will be slower in the future.
In Conclusion
Thank you all for the support throughout this year. There's no way in HELL I would've had the drive and desire to continue writing if not for the amazing community (most the Oscar Isaac community lol) behind me. It's not just the kudos and the reblogs, it's the people who I've grown to know since joining the world of fandom.
I never had a ton of IRL friends, and I live alone (happily btw) with my dog. Being able to make some friends here that I genuinely call friends, not just people I know online, has meant the world to me. I would list everyone out, but I have a fear of accidentally forgetting to tag someone despite how much they mean to me so I'll leave it at...those people know who they are.
And to my readers (I hesitate to use the word "fans", that makes it sound so conceited), thank you to the moon and back. Without out, I wouldn't have had the drive to keep going. Kudos, Likes and Reblogs aren't everything, I can't stress that enough, but they do help keep the drive alive. (Particularly the comments). Without the little boost of excitement I get when I see that other people are just excited about what I'm doing as I am, I probably would've given up ages ago.
You all are the reason that this was even possible.
With all that being said, I have a small celebration planned that I'll announce later tonight. In the mean time, stay amazing. You keep supporting me, and I'll keep providing the fics that you all love so much
Love,
Melly
#melody talks#moon knight#steven grant#jake lockley#marc spector#triple frontier#santiago garcia#poe dameron#star wars#kylo ren#good charlotte#avenged sevenfold#the used#my chemical romance#pirates of the caribbean#rainbow six siege#oscar isaac#ben solo#melodys 1 year ficversary#ficversary
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hi katie jovenshires im a big fan. if ur ok with sharing, what ships are in the botb au and what are the vibes for each 👀
thank you so much!! <3<3<3
hmm i've been thinking about this and i think i'm only deadset on spommy, ianthony, kolivia, and amangela as far as like. my canon goes. not sure what if any other ships im gonna include... ive gone back and forth with shaymien and shaynse too but not sure!!
but, i will say, for the most part the edits are mostly left up to interpretation so you can all decide whatever ships you want really!! (or if you don't want any ships at all that's cool too <3) like i've said to me the botbau is a little collaborative barbie world that we can all make whatever we want out of. like i told someone the other day - if you wanna write a fic or make an edit or something for this and it doesn't exactly line up with what i might write or think ab the au... PLEASE go for it. it is out there, public domain now, do with it what you will. and i will love and eat it up no matter what!!
as for the vibes in MY head, i will throw them under the cut so this post doesn't get too long KFNLKNKFNF
spommy: i've covered this a little before here so if you want the full version check that out but BASICALLY spommy is kind of rivals-to-friends-to-lovers except tommy has an Extremely one-sided beef and spencer just thinks he's cool and wants to be buds. eventually spencer wins him over and then... uh oh! love! once again skimmin some details that, if i ever Write A Fic for it, will be spoilers. but that’s the idea you know
ianthony: taking this directly from my dms to lilac but basically. ianthony botbau my beloveds....... to relearn how to co-pilot something with someone that should come so second-hand to you but you're both different people now but your feelings carry through anyway for who they were and are and will be........ yeah theyre everything to me. in a way it's a mirror to life/what actually happened to them with smosh (art imitates life) but the divorce era was even MORE famous because they're like a household name so it was a lot more pressure. idk yet if they were together beforehand and then broke up and now they're getting BACK together or if they had unresolved feelings they never dealt with and now they're struggling to reconcile them with their renewed friendship AND reunited band/the fame that comes from that... but either way they are Messy. im obsessed.
kolivia: kolivia in this au fascinates me because in my head keith is kind of known for being a player and fucking around but i think he stopped that Ages ago because. these two are basically dating. like they don't put a label on it and it's not public and i don't even know if THEY know how in love they are. but they live together. they sleep together "just to blow off steam" (come on now). they don't date other people. everyone can see it but them type beat. olivia's like "he's not my boyfriend" and then picks up the phone and is like "hi baby do you want chinese for dinner" NDLFKNANKSFLN like they are exclusive and they have deep feelings for each other but they are both so deeply in denial that they swear they're not dating. they have realistically been in a relationship for like five years.
amangela: RIVALS TO LOVERS AGAINNNN i have talked about this one a Lot with baflegacy bc like. they are my roman empire. at least these two have met on multiple occasions and actually fought with each other - they keep meeting at gigs/in bars and bickering. angela "clearly abba is the best band ever" giarratana and amanda "WHAT about fleetwood mac you DUMB ASS" lehan-canto. like they meet a bunch and EVERY time they end up bickering. meanwhile angela keeps seeing thirst traps of amanda on tiktok and being like "why are all the lesbians obsessed with her she SUCKS" and chanse and arasha, who have heard this three million times, are like "yeah okay buddy whatever helps you sleep at night." meanwhile amanda is living her bliss <3 and then they realize they're both in battle of the bands and uh oh! things come to a head!
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ok so i started this ask earlier this morning and am just now getting aroundn to finish it so apologies if it's all over the place
vegas has been a lestappen weekend and I am thinking THOTs like honestly so much happened this race weekend and i am reeling
1. no1 vegas hater max verstappen saying that he's excited to go back i love him 😭😭😭 i'm so glad he had fun lmaoo. like i can just imagine him in the hotel with charles and reader the night before the race all huffy and upset because this whole weekend is a farce and he is NOT going to have a good time. and charles is just like "it's gonna be fine mon amour, i think at this point you're just determined to have a bad weekend and spoiling it all for yourself" and maybe yeah he is but in max's opinion that is NOT the point. anyways after the thrill of Racing™️ he's like "hmm okay yeah u weren't wrong, i had a good time" and charles is jsut liek "SAY IT WAS YOUR WHOLE CHEST PLZ !!!! I WAS RIGHT !!!!"
2. obsessed with carlos being all kinds of protective big brother vibes to werewolf!reader. like he sees max and charles crowding her and is just like 🤨🤨 "alright alright we get it, you love her, but let her work pls. if you keep crowding her i'm gonna call this sabotage" but he's also the one who goes "i pretend i do not see it" when he catches max trying to wiggle his way into the ferarri turf
3. there are mould your own dildo kits called clone a willy (don't ask me how i know) but i can see max getting one as like a gag gift or something and he's just like haha ok whatev. but the days go on and really the more he thinks about it the more appealing it is to have a custom dildo bc then he can fuck his two loves with his cock at the same time. and also he needs to know what his dick feels like, you know for scientific purposes. so anyways he gets charles and reader to help him and it is SO messy, positioning is important, and the amount of effort it takes to stay hard is ASTRONOMICAL. his dick is stuck in a tube of goo, it's not sexy. but now if someone tells him to go fuck himself he can. so he stays winning 😘😘🤩
4. i also really hope lando gots a nice long sleep after the race. like he sounded horrible on the radio. he needs a nice cuddle stat. i feel like we don't talk about werewolf lando a lot but
-🌠
GAHSJSJAKAJSJBSSKJA OH GOD
1. there’s something so funny about max suddenly changing his tune😭he was probably just happy to do some actual racing and know that the whole weekend was over after it, but it’s still hilarious. and I could see charles and reader giving him such shit over it, teasing him that the elvis race suit put him in a good mood and maybe they should keep it all year round (no, they should not. it’s a cursed wee thing. I want it gone)
2. CARLOS BEING AN OVERPROTECTIVE BROTHER PLEASE😭even the idea that she’s upset with them over something, it’s carlos who she goes to and his driver’s room that she stays in🥲but he would be so supportive of their relationship and definitely help hiding it when he can
3. I have seen the clone-a-willy sets in stores here, it’s so😭😭😭I know it’s this hot concept or whatever but it genuinely makes me cackle at the idea of these boys trying to follow the instructions. like charles is confused and max is convinced he doesn’t need instructions and it’s just such a mess. it would be so fucking funny
4. baby lando deserves all the hugs and cuddles and kisses after that crash :( but we do not talk about werewolf!lando near enough!!!
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If you wanna break my cold, cold heart...
It’s become very clear to me that I’m extremely lost in The Tortured Poet’s Department which I absolutely expected and it’s no fucking wonder my two hyperfixations are colliding. Because after ugly crying through it the first few handful of times about my own life, I’m now just telegraphing that emotion onto a tv character, which is super healthy.
Seriously though, is anyone else imagining Crowley somehow becoming obsessed with this album while he’s still trying to work through Aziraphale fucking off back to heaven?! Baby girl full on alternately sobbing and manically laughing in the back of the Bentley while Taylor Swift makes him feel hella seen? Compiling his own playlist of the tracks that just strip him raw?
Which, in my mind, have got to be -
“Down Bad”
For a moment I knew cosmic love… / Now I’m down bad, crying at the gym / Everything comes out teenage petulance / Fuck it if I can’t have him. / I might just die, it would make no difference. / Down bad waking up in blood / Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up / Fuck it if I can’t have us / I might not just get up, I might stay down bad…
Obvi the go-to track when he just wants to wallow in it. Just like drowning his sorrows in that pub after the angel was discorporated during the first Armageddon, ‘fuck it if I can’t have us’. Hard Crowley vibes.
“My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”
There was a litany of reasons why / We could've played for keeps this time / I know I'm just repeating myself / Put me back on my shelf / But first - pull the string / And I'll tell you that he runs / Because he loves me. / Cause you should've seen him / When he first saw me…
My boy only breaks his favorite toys / I'm queen of sand castles he destroys / Cause I knew too much / There was danger in the heat of my touch / He saw forever so he smashed it up / Oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys
I feel like this is their entire relationship; Aziraphale keeps him at arm’s length because it’s fucking dangerous but Crowley gets destroyed everytime. ‘He runs because he loves me’ - what a devastating thought. They both do, gang, and that’s so sad.
“So Long London”
And you say I abandoned the ship / But I was going down with it / My white knuckle dying grip / Holding tight to your quiet resentment and / My friends said it isn't right to be scared / Every day of a love affair / Every breath feels like rarest air / When you're not sure if he wants to be there
So how much sad did you think I had / Did you think I had in me? / How much tragedy? / Just how low did you think I'd go? / Before I'd self-implode / Before I'd have to go be free
This one has gotta be for those times that he’s ready to fight back a little bit, and feels pissed about how much he tried to keep their shit together. Aziraphale thinks he gave up, he thinks Aziraphale gave up, and sometimes he thinks about fucking off from London too. But he won’t. Hopefully?
“Guilty As Sin?”
What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh / Only in my mind? / One slip and falling back into the hedge maze / Oh what a way to die / I keep recalling things we never did / Messy top lip kiss / How I long for our trysts / Without ever touching his skin / How can I be guilty as sin?
These fatal fantasies / Giving way to labored breath / Taking all of me / We've already done it in my head / If it's make believe / Why does it feel like a vow / We'll both uphold somehow?
What if I roll the stone away? / They're gonna crucify me anyway / What if the way you hold me / Is actually what's holy? / If long suffering propriety / Is what they want from me / They don't know how you've haunted me / So stunningly / I choose you and me
… Religiously
Baby needs a song about longing. 6,000 years of longing. And uncertainty about whatever they are. This one screaaaams Crowley’s questions about the group of the two of them. It’s so painful. Also, you know, the whole ‘sin’ thing. They spent so much time never touching, but y’all know Crowley feels that guilt anyway. Oof.
ALSO, you know Aziraphale would be wrecked by this one too. I feel like the worst part about the two of them is they're both suffering the same thing, in agonizingly similar ways. They're both carrying that horrible guilt. It's gutwrenching.
“loml”
Oh, what a valiant roar / What a bland goodbye / The coward claimed he was a lion / I'm combing through the braids of lies / "I'll never leave" … / "Never mind" / Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire / Your arson's match your somber eyes / And I'll still see it until I die / You're the loss of my life
More sadness about Aziraphale’s departure. What a shit way to end things, what a cowardly path he took (in Crowley’s mind) after poor Crowley tried his absolute-fuckin’-best to put his heart on the line. Definitely 'the loss of my life.'
“The Black Dog”
Old habits die screaming / I move through the world with the heartbroken / My longings stay unspoken / And I may never open up the way I did for you / And all of those best laid plans / You said I needed a brave man / Then proceeded to play him / Until I believed it too / And it kills me / I just don't understand
Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes / And hire a priest to come and exorcize my demons / Even if I die screaming / And I hope you hear it
This one is definitely for those times when Crowley wants to scour Aziraphale from his existence but yo, a habit built over literally ALL OF TIME isn’t going to die just screaming. If it can even die at all.
“Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus”
You said some things that I can't unabsorb / You turned me into an idea of sorts / You needed me, but you needed drugs more / And I couldn't watch it happen / I changed into goddesses, villains, and fools / Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules / All to outrun my desertion of you / And you just watched it
If you wanna break my cold, cold heart / Just say, "I loved you the way that you were" / If you wanna tear my world apart / Just say you've always wondered
Ya know our boy has guilt over letting Aziraphale go where he absolutely could not follow, and I feel like he’d probably spend a bunch of time trying to change a ton of things in his life just to avoid ‘the desertion of you’ but yooo, what cuts right to the core is ‘I love you the way that you were.’ All this poor demon wanted to hear, wants to hear.
“How Did it End?”
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances / We learn the right steps to different dances / And fell victim to interlopers' glances / Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
It's happenin' again / How did it end? / I can't pretend like I understand / How did it end?
Definitely another one for wallowing. Have I found myself screeching out ‘how did it end?!’ everytime it comes up? Yes. And I feel like a drunk Crowley would too. ‘It’s happening again’ would definitely hit home to him, how many times have they been through this?
“The Prophecy”
But I looked to the sky and said / Please / I've been on my knees / Change the prophecy / Don't want money / Just someone who wants my company / Let it once be me / Who do I have to speak to / About if they can redo / The prophecy?
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate / No sign of soulmates / I'm just a paperweight / In shades of greige / Spending my last coin so someone will tell me / It'll be ok / Please
At some point it’s likely he figures out all of this was definitely always going to happen, right? Little snake has always been at the whims of the inevitable (ineffable), and all he ever tried to do was make his own choices but he’s stuck in circumstances he absolutely cannot change. This one is all about pleading. Bargaining phase, you know. But ‘just someone who wants my company’ absolutely kills me. Somebody tell this demon it’ll be okay.
And so yeah I’m imagining the Thin Dark Duke is just playing ALL of those on repeat forever, until he finally gets to this place:
“Imgonnagetyouback”
Whether I'm gonna be your wife or / Gonna smash up your bike, I / Haven't decided yet / But I'm gonna get you back
I hear the whispers in your eyes / I'll make you wanna think twice / You'll find that you were never not mine / You're mine
Bygones will be bygone eras fadin' into gray / We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game / Told my friends, "I hate you but I love you just the same" / Pick your poison, babe / I'm poison either way
Because you know it’s SO Crowley to be absolutely fucking furious at the end of it all, but resolved to get Aziraphale back under any circumstances. I love him running around with the energy of ‘Whether I'm gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven't decided yet’ but he IS resolute in seeing his stupid angel again. This is as positive as he’s gonna get, and I love that for him.
Did I spend way too much time writing this out for absolutely no reason? Yes. But gang, I have to believe Taylor Swift can reach anyone, even ethereal entities. Joiiiiin the Tortured Poet’s Department, Crowley, you know you want to…
#good omens#crowley loves aziraphale#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#sad crowley#crowley x aziraphale#crowley's sad playlist
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(duckspiderbit anon) It can be nightmarish... but the hilarity of their dynamics combined and the sudden unexpected sweet moments they share at times make them perfect. Would LOVE to hear your thoughts on them btw, I'm very interested :D
anon i just want you to know that i have been trying to answer this ask since i woke up, i just apparently cannot talk about these fuckers without writing a novel, i am So Sorry.
i’m gonna try to be as short as i possibly can (spoiler warning it’s still not short IM SORRY) but like, basically. basically. in my head, right, in the version of events that lives in my head— roier and quackity already have a history. not exactly dating, just fooling around “as friends”, but it makes their friendship now very overly-familiar. they’re very touchy, very flirty, but at this point it’s all just playful. they’re just very comfortable with each other, you know? they’re best friends! and what best friends Aren’t this close, huh?
and cellbit isn’t fully aware of whatever they had going on before he knew them, but he knows there’s something he missed, like an inside joke he’ll never quite understand. and it’s not like that bothers him, exactly? because him and roier are completely secure, there’s never been a couple more fucking obsessed with each other, he knows he has zero reasons to feel threatened. it’s more like— he knows quackity is always going to special to roier, in this weird way, so they are just stuck with him. for better or worse. me and you and your friend steve, just a little bit, that’s kind of the vibe.
but it’s not like quackity and cellbit don’t also have their own share of familiarity. not nearly to the same extent, obviously, but they are familiar. cellbit gave him partial custody of his child, they’ve taken each others sides in disputes over how to raise said child, richas calls quackity pa, they are very much already stuck with each other anyways.
so like. what do you even do with that. right? what do you call your husband’s not-quite-ex and your co-parent, what does that make him to the two of you. and how is that impacted by the fact that he’s always desperately hitting on you both?
so again, in my head, in my head— i think it Has to be a slow burn with them. because quackity has baggage around relationships, right, he’s had a history of chasing romance just because he thinks it will fix him or make him feel something, and he needs time to cool off on that first. now, he never cools off on the flirting, i don’t think he ever physically could, but he needs to be okay with it not going anywhere. and i think spiderbit needs time to warm up to the opposite idea, that it might actually go somewhere. but over time they do. over time, quackity just worms his way into more and more of their life until they’ve basically made him a part of it without saying. they fall into comfortable routines. cellbit gets used to roier and quackity’s teasing, he starts to join in on it. over time, all the joke flirting just stops really being a joke, and all the friendly affection just escalates and escalates until they finally have to acknowledge what they’re doing.
they’re all very stupid about it. cellbit brings it up to roier first, who is somehow embarrassed because he thought they were all just joking and he was the only one catching feelings which he did NOT wanna think too hard about. they have a talk about what this means for them, come to an agreement, bring it up to quackity— who also somehow thought this was a bit and that they were just doing it all to tease him! and then, somehow, they’re both surprised when he says yes, because they couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. morons all around. they do have braincells, they just short circuit when they’re in a room together, it’s very sad and very comical
i actually…. okay, i Actually might’ve started writing the world’s most self indulgent oneshot about them, like… three or four weeks ago? idk, it was before school started so a bit ago, and i’m just never gonna finish it now i’ve accepted that but i Might just turn part of it into a comic. idk. idk we’ll see ahdkdjd if i don’t get too embarrassed to actually do it
anyways i’m sorry i talked so much i just have demons okay i have demons. and i didn’t even TALK about festa junina or “go take care of him” I MADE SO MANY CUTS GUYS I DID!!!!!
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okayyyyyyyy initial bravern finale thoughts. i think i will be thinking abt this show for the next 7-10 business years so more to come ofc but. AH!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ISAMI SINGING THE OP LET THAT BE DIEGETIC TOO!!!!!!!!!! AND ALSO ON SPOTIFY!!!!!!!!!!
isami off his Fucking rocker at that one point like Yeah you deserve it king go OFF LMAO. i found that quite satisfying :] real talk tho for as much as i call him baby rice cracker all the time i really love him as a protagonist? like he just feels so damn human in the way he struggles so much but tries his best and then gets hit AGAIN but keeps trying again and again anyways. it's really good! and his whole arc of like. learning that he Can rely on others and with that reliance brings mutual care..............sobs
i love that piloting these fucking things just makes your hair grow. LMFAO
okay i know i've been complaining abt the translation of "bang brave" or whatever tf smith keeps saying before he dies BUT the reveal that that is just ANOTHER thing he's doing bc he's a Fucking Freak and isami thinks it's weird too KILLED ME. smith: "brave bang :]" isami: If You Say That Shit One More Time You're Sleeping On The Couch Tonight". what is wrong with you lewis smith!!!!!!!!!!
i wouldn't be atall surprised if this show got the ssssg treatment and got four million random manga/light novel spinoffs especially considering it's consistently like the most popular show in japan lmao. the lulu-superbia spinoff sounds like a lot of fun so i'd def be interested to see more in that vein!!! i need to learn japanese tho cause no way they're getting eng translations!!!!
i feel like. there is a specific Vibe of mecha thing that verum vita fits which Also includes dissonanza backarrow and uhhhh idk the name but that one mf who pops up in ep30ish of gaogaigar and is just kinda like. observing? like verum vita is not a court jester like the other two and this analysis does not go any deeper than Vibes but. it had me leo dicaprio pointing like. another one!!!
i'm literally obsessed with the unhinged worldbuilding in this show. like?
population is nine billion???
the suez canal is still blocked????
if you're gay you can just. Do That ???
like i love that they don't explain this shit either it's so funny to me. LMAO
something something smith can only express himself and his love for isami as bravern not just bc it gives him as a character/person separation from his Human Self but also. bc i wouldn't be surprised if that was The Way to get the queer stuff so blatant, bc he was in robot form rather than one human man saying "i love you" to another and then glomping him in an explicitly romantic sense after all the talk of riding and him being inside him. LMAO. this isn't a complaint beyond a vague shake of the fist at Corporations and TV Censors, just smth i think is REALLY interesting and which i had a surprising amount of fun watching play out from a story perspective :]
i feel like my hottest bravern take is and will always be that i really don't mind the 12eps LMAO. like i thought it provided a fun variety of Situations with which to deal with the DDs and it didn't give it enough time for the gimmick or mystery elements to start to feel old. also i am just generally of the opinion that most stories would work better if you wrote them to be told in X amount of time and then had to trim off like. 40% of that. so i know it's a personal thing but i think it worked well for bravern!!
i do wish we'd gotten to see smith and isami hug if only cause i think isami fuckin needs it. LMAO. but overall i'm satisfied w their arc, especially bc i think the whole "beyond bang brave" thing works REALLY well w smith returning to his human body. like as soon as superbia kicked it i had a feeling that would happen, and obv it's textually referring to isami/bravern/lulu's massive super robot powerup, but i also think it can just mean like. what happens After? cause smith keeps saying "bang brave" or whatever tf when he dies but to go Beyond that is to come back to life and experience a life where he can receive love, too (i.e., via cooking and food AND ALSO via Literally being brought back to life from bravern's heart. who had just merged with isami on a particle level or whatever lmao). so i'm rly satisfied with how it played out in the end :]
overall i think my only real complaint w the show on the whole aside from the military propaganda was that the boys looked like such fucking DERPS in half their shots. lmao. like obviously i'm biased cause i'm a sakuga whore and i actually rly do like their more realistic style a surprising amount cause i usually don't go for that sort of thing but uh. there's a reason that lulu is the human i gif most often and it's cause she always looked better than them by a long shot FSKDLJH. her character animation was consistently the best & most expressive and she was always the most on-model which. FUCKING DESERVED BTW. her arc was incredible and i'm so excited to rly think about her some more and dig into her as like. a rei ayanami clone (maybe even specifically rebuild? w the "your hair grows long inside your mecha" thing) but who takes control of HER OWN STORY TOO and is able to grow wildly beyond being that story point. like i love that she's taken care of too. agh she's really such an amazing character maybe i'll have to cosplay her too FKLDJSHF i'm rotating her in my brain So Much
overall that was really good and i really enjoyed it and i can't wait for the blurays <333 i love it when robot shows are made by people who love robot shows!!!!!
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Dungeon Meshi Thoughts
Mostly about Laios tbh (Spoiler-y for Anime watchers btw)
also this is gonna be super personal and rambly so uhhhhhh, yeah!
So during my read through of Dungeon Meshi, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I related to Laios. Initially I chocked it up to being a guy with a particular and intense interest and some kind of mutual undiagnosed Autism, plus the stellar writing and art of Ryoko Kui just making me really vibe with the guy
And then I get fucking hit with this in Chapter 88:
(Also that's not the full panel this manga has INCREDIBLE panel work, like seriously.)
Laios notes more than once that he doesn't get other people, he spent most of his early years with either his sister or with pets and his attempts to go out into the world were met with him feeling out of place with other people, all of which seemed like they got something that he didn't, forcing him to drift from place to place until he became an adventurer. He says he would simply be happier as a monster, or at least surrounded by them. After all, a monster doesn't need to worry about looking like an idiot, or accidentally insulting his friends, or being too into stuff. He sees his sister turn into a half-dragon and while he is worried about her, and he openly says he wishes it was him. And while that's played off for comedy, finding out that, yeah, Laios was alienated and was ostracized and would probably find solace in the idea of not being human anymore makes it all make way more sense.
And sans the "Destroy humanity" stuff, I totally get it! Every character I've ever latched on to, every character I've ever invented (even Atticus to some extent) has had the caveat on not being 100% a person. I've been doing that since I was a kid, imaging characters that are just that little but inhuman.
I have, and frequently do, feel alienated in the ways Laios talks about being in the manga! I have also been in positions where I realize I know nothing about the people I'm meant to be friends with, or that I have been making a fool of myself in front of the ones I do have! That if I simply wasn't a person, then I wouldn't have to feel alienated, or stressed, or lonely, or whatever ever again. There have been plenty of times that I had thoughts exactly like Laios', and there's something really weird about having that instinct reflected back at me.
And Laios doesn't get "better". He never stops being kinda absent-minded, never stops being either too close or too distant, never stops being obsessed with the thing he's obsessed with. (to both tragic and hilarious effect come the ending of the manga) He rejects the idea of becoming a monster, thanks to his friends and the experience of sharing meals with others, but that instinct and mental thing never goes away.
He doesn't stop being weird.
And my point is that it feels weird and kinda nice? To see a character who thinks and feels similarly to me, and not have him be some kind of sociopath. And maybe I'm misinterpreting him, but that's what he means to me, I guess.
Anyway read Dungeon Meshi
#folansstuff rambles#im going to tag this as a#vent post#tho i wouldnt really call it that#is this too much for my blog?#maybe#but i have not stopped thinking about it all day#or since i started really#dungeon meshi#dunmesh#laios touden
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I just wanted to say that I'm a little obsessed with your readings. I'm reading it little by little as if I were following a complex analysis of an already written biography about The Beatles. Haha. It's curious because your readings so far are very much in line with the perception/projection/assumption I had about their relationship, with some pieces of the puzzle falling into place.
With all that being said, I have several questions that I would love to see what the tarot would answer regarding this, and I am sure that time will come. =D However, after this last reading you did related to Mick Jagger, one of my main questions came to mind, which is:
Were there other guys in their game? Like… in a romantic/sexual way, or some thing like a experimentation of their sexuality, or even a kind of mind games (lol) to make the mother jealous? We know how possessive they were of each other and that girls could be threats and other friends too, so.. Were there those who gave reasons for this?
I don't know if it was clear. Anyway. =) I loved your Beatlemaniac witchcraft project. Please keep it. Loving it!
Hey, thank you for the feedback ❤️. I’m glad that you have liked the readings ❤️.
To have some kind of order, I made the following questions:
Did John experiment or feel something for other guys?
Did Paul experiment or feel something for other guys?
Did John and Paul purposely had these male “friendships” to make each other jealous?
So here we go!
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Check my other readings! here
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This was made for entertainment purposes only.
Did Paul experiment or feel something for other guys?
I think Paul since the beginning always felt some kind of “curiosity” about guys, but also knew that whatever he would do, wouldn’t do any good for him, so he didn’t try anything. I think he really was curious about the subject, but even when he had attention from guys, and thought that maybe he could do something, he just didn’t. He really worked on being firm in his convictions. I think it had to pass some time until someone “reliable” made a proposition that he accepted. This proposition wasn’t “romantic” If you know what I mean 😂. I think in his mind he thought he didn’t have a choice, so he accepted. He liked what happened, but his mind was a mess. I think another important proposition happened, I don’t know If was from the same person, but Paul wasn’t very keen on accepting it. It was like he knew it wasn’t worth it, but the other person was very manipulative. It was like doing this thing would “kill the vibe”. This part is very weird for me, because I know that the question is not directed towards John, but I feel like this last person could be John. Why? Because after all that happened, Paul actually felt very happy, and tried a lot to be near him. (Or probably the other John 😂 (many people have speculated about his ex assistant (but that is for another reading 🌚).
Did John experiment or feel something for other guys?
I think John knew somewhat of his truth, but put a disguise to project something different. John wanted to experiment, to let himself go, but it had to pass some time until he decided to do something. He consciously concluded that he wanted to experiment, to feel, to do whatever he wanted. When the opportunity came, he didn’t feel that good 😭. It was like “what the fuck was that”. I think he had an idea of what he wanted, but it was difficult to fulfill, he also felt somewhat stupid and inexperienced. So he tried very hard to have more opportunities. But it was like it was never enough. “Something was missing”. So yeah, he did.
Did John and Paul purposely had these male “friendships”, to make each other jealous?
Yes. They were possessive as fuck ☠️. Obviously, everytime they would do this shit they would feel bad, but they thought eventually this would give them some kind of “result”. After the crisis it would come happiness. I think it was some kind of power game, if I go far on this even a sexual thing (or a “soft” version 😂). The outcome would be very good but not enough, because there were feelings difficult to face.
I hope this is enough for you 😃 I really liked this one, they are so messy, I love them 😂😭
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HIIII ZOE ITS MY IRRITATING ASS AGAIN (this is my main blog, I have tennis and f1 sideblogs but don't know how to make the ask come from there, I haven't been on tumblr in FOREVER..)
anyway my little curious gremlin ass has YET MORE QUESTIONS
ALSO I COMPLETELY FORGOT CHALLENGERS WAS COMING OUT, IM SO DAMN EXCITED FOR THAT FUCK YEAH, we LOVE zendaya she's gonna serve (pls laugh) cunt
okay so i think picking out my favourite players will be easier if I relate them back to f1 drivers, makes em seem more familiar, so if I do like a checklist of sorts of driver types, can you match them up to players you think fit the vibe?????
e.g. is there a former champion (lewis/fernando coded) who's looking for a comeback? is there a young talent who's had bad luck but is on the rise (lando) is there a calm, level headed one that everyone thinks will go far (oscar) is there a charming elegant one that social media is obsessed with (charles my babygirl). im assuming djokovic is the max verstappen adjacent, fairly young dude who's smoking everyone, yeah?
just like ugh I LOVE f1 so dearly and i think sporting parallels will help SO much
question: is it a big money sport like f1? Obviously anyone can pick up a racket and hit a ball, but is it very expensive and exclusive to make it into the big leagues? you mentioned smth in the fic about oscar adding up the whole cost of going pro, would that be a huge problem for poorer families?
are there any player pairings with vaguely homosexual vibes? again with the damn f1 parallels but adjacent to max/charles, carlos/lando, even lewis/nico if I dare mention brocedes, because I just absolutely live for speculation of silly little goofy athletes' relationships with each other
here's where I get REAL shallow but fuckin sue me, WHICH ARE THE PRETTY ONES I CAN SIMP OVER. i am bi so that doubles the market, but basically which are the ones that i can watch edits of and get all giggly and blush over, in your opinion and in the general tennis community's opinion.
whats andy murray's deal? Is he retired? Is he like the sebastian vettel of tennis?
how dramatic is it compared to f1? we all know that f1 is gossip girl on wheels... is tennis gossip girl running around a court or is it less drama-fueled?
not a question but I'm so excited to see which f1 drivers turn up to Wimbledon this year like, CROSSOVER EPISODE YEAAAA
is djokovic the max-esque guy where it's like "okay I don't mind you, you're cool, but god DAMNIT, stop being so good, let my other favourite little meow meows have a CHANCE for once"
how worldwide is it? are players mostly European/Aussie like f1 or is it more widespread?
is the meme game good? i LIVE for online hilarity in sports, are there any iconic tennis moments/memes a la "it's near a fish" "smoooth operator" "bwoah" etc etc whatever
really gotta stop talking about f1 in terms of tennis but it's the only other sport I'm really into IM SORRY FORGIVE ME
which are the "sad wet cat" (dearly beloved) players? you mentioned one guy but there's gotta be more than one right??? I always get attached to athletes with those vibes
IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE CONSTANT QUESTIONING BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I TRUST TO GIVE ME CORRECT INFO RN BECAUSE YOU REALLY SEEM LIKE YOU KNOW YOUR SHIT
finally a HUGE FUCKING THANK YOU???? For putting up with my idiot ass mostly, and your fic is singlehandedly making me wander into the tennis world despite knowing literally nothing and you're helping my understanding SO much, youre about to drag me down this sport's rabbit hole just by existing. tennisblr seems like such a fun adorable place im SO excited to start watching stuff, you're a legend and ilysm <3333
you are literally NEvEr irritating you are the best thing to happen to my inbox every time, sorry i was so slow on this one!! I had a very hard time relating f1 drivers to tennis players lmaoooo so in the end i just skipped that part!! I'm so sorry!!! it's just so hard because the narrative of f1 drivers is so specific and intrinsically tied to TEAM and to their teammates, and to the tragedy of a good car and/or the wonder of a great car ... the betrayal of contract negotiation & silly season etc.... tennis just doesn't really have that!! all the narratives are more player v. self and player v. world, instead of driver v. driver and driver v. fate. if that makes sense??
so yeah. sorry 😭😭 it's also possible that I just don't have enough imagination and somebody can jump in to help with that .... anyway, moving right along to
"is tennis a big money sport"
GOD yes. tennis is soooooo expensive, it takes approx 1 billion dollars to pay for lessons, court time, coaching, travel, accommodation, gear, etc etc. :// You get paid if you win. let me say that again: you get paid if you WIN. there aren't salaries! early in your career, you are HEMORRHAGING money, esp if you have a coach. the travel is fricken expensive all by itself!! and if you're paying a coach as well you're either in debt or you're playing with house money if you catch my drift. (tennis players often come from wealth, much like f1 drivers — they can also be sponsored, sometimes by their country, but usually only if & while they're successful!!)
if you do well, you start to win, maybe you make money, more likely you're breaking even for a while (or even still losing). if you do REALLY well, then you're looking at more prize money and maybe sponsors, so then you can start making some real money out of this. but yeah it's CRAaaaaaazy how much money tennis players pay to play tennis lol!! it is 10000% a problem for getting underprivileged kids into tennis, there's a reason tennis is so white!
"are there any player pairings w vaguely homosexual vibes"
LOLLLL look i never turn down a chance to push the sincaraz agenda but also, carlos alcaraz does that for me!!!!
they're so cute damn
also getting into sinner/berrettini …
but honestly, besides that?? f1 is way better for pairings because we watch them interact with each other off track WAYY more. you barely see tennis players interact with each other! i have been emailing the respective tennis associations about this (jk but I should). MORE GOOFY VIDEOS WITH PLAYERS DOING STUPID GAMES (with each other, crucially)
"which are the hot ones"
ooohh this is suuuper subjective but i am soOOOoo into coco gauff, she's gorg, also iga sviatek in red, also daria kasatkina, also maria sakkari really does it for me, also katie boulter is so cute.
hot damn
on the atp side oBVI jannik, carlitos is so cute but he looks so young i feel like he's less hot and more adorable, caspar ruud looks like ryan gosling as you have pointed out, ben shelton is gorgeous (and cocky in a way that unfortunately does compel me, oops), arthur fils!! beautiful. tennis players are all hot, in my mind??? they're so …. well rounded …. 😏😏😏
"which are the "sad wet cat" players"
andrey rublev my beloved sad cat
muchova (not really a sad wet cat but tragically always broken in some way)
daniil medvedev but if the cat was cunty
"whats andy murray's deal?"
oh my GOD murray!! my love my husband my father my holy ghost!! a tragedy a triumph …. a player in the era of the Big Three (Djokovic, Federer, Nadal) and therefore destined to be remembered as "oh, and andy murray" … or "one of the big four" (the big four is not a thing unless you're talking about andy murray lmao) ... a great player, one of the greatest, a slugger, a workhorse, had one of the cleanest backhands of all time, and the classiest guy in tennis … see: andy murray shutting down sexist reporters on multiple occasions ....
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He's not retired !! he's still going, here he is recently losing:
He's actually (possibly) playing at this upcoming Challenger Tour event! as are a number of interesting players. the reason that this is interesting is that Challenger level tournaments are a level below the ATP Tour, so you don't often have this many recognizable (to me, anyway) names playing at this level!
[side note: the movie Challengers — the name is a play on the Challengers tour. they're playing a Challengers match in the movie, but also "challenging" each other for zendaya … you get it]
Anyway this tournament should be interesting … andy murray is getting older but he's not ready to quit!! he's gone on the record saying there are things he's still trying to accomplish before he retires, and he's playing well in practices it's just not translating to matches yet. he's also said if his body tells him to retire he will, but uhh. he's got a literal metal hip so clearly he's not QUITE ready to listen to his body.....
"is he the seb of tennis" HMMMM this is an interesting question, I wouldn't really class him this way — seb is like a silly little sexy fruity goblin (if I'm reading his vibe correctly — I'm late to f1) and andy is a stoic public school kid with a goofy streak … if that makes sense …
"how dramatic is tennis compared to f1?"
ALSO INTERESTING I think that's sort of relative to how much you care about individual players, I think game-play is pretty dramatic at times but nobody's ever in danger of bursting into flame??? so in that sense not as dramatic as vroom vroom sport lmaoo but there is a bit of temper tantrum throwing, and then important wins (see: Alcaraz Wimbledon 2023) are SO dramatic in the best way…
gossip-wise I don't think it's as dramatic as f1!! there's deffo tennis gossip but I think, again, because there aren't teams, the drama is less wrapped up in "betrayal" narratives yknow??? like ferrari ditching sainz for lewis was dramatic in so many different ways, not LEAST because of the betrayal of carlos. I feel like tennis is less set up for that, bc it's every player for themselves
"is djokovic the max-esque guy where it's like "okay I don't mind you, you're cool, but god DAMNIT, stop being so good, let my other favourite little meow meows have a CHANCE for once"
YES EXACTLY i cut in your whole q because that's exactly right!! so so so apt imo .. howEVERRR it was less correct when federer and nadal were still around and at their best, because those three really did make up the Big Three, capital B capital T, and they had such a good dynamic going between the trio — it was less one-note when djokovic had a constant fight on his hands... now djokovic is older and slowing down so we're getting into a sunset period, which is interesting because he's still doing GREATTT (and I wish he would stop, give my meow meows a chance etc) but everyone sees the light at the end of the tunnel re: a djokovic retirement. whereas I think people are looking at the max ascendancy and saying "GULP" bc we all want our favorite boys to win at least one WDC (cough lando cough cough osc)
"how worldwide is it?"
fairrrrly? but yes europeans heavvvvily represented, americans as well to some extent, asia and australia to some extent — not so stark as f1, but def same bougie euro vibes lmao
"is the meme game good?"
again fairrrrrly but def not to the same extent!! less of a "here are the memes everyone knows" and more in the spirit of, like, if you're following a few players & the major tournaments, tennis tumblr/twitter is fun to be on … trying to think of a "classic" tennis meme and I can't which isn't a good sign lmaooo .. jannik puking in a bin and then going on the biggest win streak of his career is a pretty good meme in my mind though ...
CROSSOVER EP YAAHHHHHHHH I CANNOT WAIT WE BETTER GET SO MANY GOOD WIMBLEDON PHOTOS AJHFDLAKSJFHDKLASJFH
sorry again to be so slow !! this was fun to go through as soon as I stopped tearing my hair out trying to make player: driver comparisons but again, maybe I'm just not creative enough ..
xx ily :))))))
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my speak now tv vault track/overall impressions are under the cut if anyone wants to read! wrote these right after listening for the first time :) they got long (a girl has a lot of feelings about speak now! who would've thought)
• electric touch!!!!!!! this is such a cute song omfg. i love the way she writes about love as fire so much (and i think it's interesting considering another common motif she uses is love as a religion...hm. anyway.) if i had to guess when this was written it would've been closer to the beginning of the process bc fearless taylor's sensibilities come through a lot. i can see why they cut it bc it's so similar to sparks fly in concept. i LOVE THE FOB FEATURE.
• when emma falls in love: "little miss sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain" & other incredible one liners!!!!!! OH MY GOD THE BRIDGE. I KNEW I WAS GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE. i understand why they cut this one bc it's not explicitly personal until the bridge and it is speak now after all. even though i think "when emma falls in love i'm learning" (or whatever it is) is a bit of a clumsy lyric, the sentiment is soooooooo dhsksjshdhjdbd. like of course she was looking to her friends and being envious of their relationships going well based on what she was experiencing. it's a beautiful companion piece to btr and little speak now honestly, and i think the themes of comparing yourself to other women on this album are super interesting and relatable.
• i can see you: OMFG DHSGSJDGSJHDKSHSKVDJD UP AGAINST A WALL WITH ME?????? I LOVE HER THIS IS SO FUNNY AND SO FUCKING GOOD WTF. obviously we all know why they cut this. the professional business vibe is so funny like girl why do u want a business man. unfortunately my brain went straight to emily poe bc the gaylor pathways run deep. where was this song 4 months ago. ANYWAY. i'm so glad she let this one bejeweled bc horny teenager music is kind of unmatched. i love her for this.
• castles crumbling: okay nothing new precursor!!! i have a feeling this will be a grower for me. the arrangement/production reminds me of an overly cheesy song that would play during the credits/climactic moment montage during a movie? idk. idk how i feel about it but it certainly is in line with the sound of the rest of the album (haunted, long live). i can't quite tell if she's writing about hypotheticals or if this is stuff she already experienced. the "power went to my head" is so interesting because like. bbygirl u were a kid of course it was going to do that. idk. i thought the second verse was stronger. i think the castles crumbling imagery as an explicit ending to the fairytale themes coming from fearless is a little too on the nose. least fave so far but could def grow on me.
• foolish one: this is SO CUTE. i love this one so much. i'm convinced that the last chorus at the end (her lower register sounds soooooo good there but we all knew that) was something she added retroactively. it feels like present her talking to younger her which is so sweet (but also 😵💫). an excellent more realistic thematic companion to little speak now i think. she's so good at these sweet upbeat countryish songs and i will happily take them every time. (edit: "you are not the exception" is a "the only exception" reference, no?)
• timeless: IT'S NOT A TAYLOR ALBUM WITHOUT AN OUR LOVE IS FATE SONG!!!!!! the historical fiction nerd in me is obsessed with this one. THE ROMEO AND JULIET/LOVE STORY CALLBACK IN THE SECOND VERSE??????? OKAY LITERARY GENIUS. the instrumentation is so lush and perfect and the subtle horns are soooooooo nice. it might be recency bias but i think this is my favorite one.
overall I thought it was really interesting to see which songs she cut and how two of them were seemingly because they were too "explicit" in some ways. let baby taylor be horny on main!!!!!!!!! it's really interesting to compare castles crumbling to long live and see how those fears about fame turning sour for her were already very present. it gives more context to the long live bridge imo. overall none of these have like recontextualized the album for me in the way the red vault did (or feel like they were touching on missing pieces of the story ig) but they definitely added some more color to certain themes. i am trying to not think about how i can see you could easily be about jm. overall i'm happy with the speak now album we got but i'm obvs also very glad to have these songs <3
INNOCENT IS COMPLETELY PERFECT. SOOOOO GOOD.
i always forget how much i love country taylor <3
#i think the actual rerecordings on this one are the best across the board#oh ig i forgot to talk about btr. i can see both sides and honestly don't have strong feelings either way but she clearly does and i think#that's fine#the thing about rerecords is that they're supposed to be a replacement but human beings making art about human emotions can't create#a carbon copy. and as it's a lyric that goes with a sentiment she no longer agrees with and is actively harmful that we can all agree is ba#alongside the precedents for doing so both in the current pop music landscape but also in her discography since her first album#i can understand why she would change it even if i might not make the same decision. and the original remains as well (it's not like she's#re-writing history in the same way)#anyway i love it and i love her <3#and i think i'm going to continue to do my first listens kind of isolated for a bit after this. it was so nice to not be on the#Having Strong Opinions website and getting to just enjoy in my own time. would recommend.#OH and to my btr point i think the new lyric is better which is probably why i am not as phased as i thought i'd be#moth girlies unite#vi is typing...
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wants dreams and worries for the ftwd finale
some rambling thoughts before the final two eps tomorrow. I've probs said most of this stuff at some point in my episode thoughts posts but anyways
have been saying that I need Troy and Madison to work together and based on the 8.11 synopsis ('enemies become temporary allies as the desire for revenge gives way to survival in the fight for the future of padre.'), i think that's gonna happen!! idk how long it'll last, the word 'temporary' worries me slightly like i hope it doesn't go to shit and result in them being more pissed at each other than they started, but them working together for a bit/being forced to spend a bit of time together is kinda my dream
from the mini trailers we know that they both go for each other, Madison with Troy on the floor saying she’s gonna kill him bc he killed Alicia and then seemingly right after that Troy hitting Madison on the head with a shovel (which is also interesting like that’s obviously gonna knock her out so then what is he gonna do with her. I wonder if that’s what the still of him sitting on the bench is, him waiting for her to wake up, maybe hoping she’s calmed own or something idk, would kinda love that tbh)
I hope there's some moments within these eps that are less action packed and more just them (Madison and Troy) talking to each other like normal ppl yknow, without the 'i'm gonna beat you' attitude idk. I also saw someone on twt say that Troy and Daniel have a scene together which is interesting. idk the context of it but I can’t imagine it’ll be that friendly, Daniel doesn’t give me vibes he’ll forgive troy or entertain him for very long
in terms of characters dying, I think Madison and Troy are the only characters where I have a lot of strong and conflicting feeling about it. with both of them it’s like okay bringing back these iconic characters just to kill them off could be seen as such a waste but then also it’s like well if the show is ending anyways then what does it matter if they die? as long as the deaths are decent ofc
I think giving Troy a decent death would be easy, sad as fuck, but also easy. like the obvious death for him is to have him die to save his daughter/so his daughter can live a better life. I think it would kinda suck and if he does get a redemption (and is made part of the ‘second chances’ thing this season has going on) it would be nicer if he got to actually live out that second (third, fourth, whatever) chance instead of proving himself by dying but still, a death like that would probs kill me off and I while wouldn’t be fully obsessed with it (bc my preference is that he lives) I defo wouldn’t hate it either
also, again, the ‘temporary’ part of the 8.11 synopsis makes me think the odds of Troy getting a redemption in these eps is pretty slim and somewhere in there either he will turn on Madison and co or they’ll turn on him and it could definitely result in him dying bc of it, either by accident or bc Madison or Daniel (or someone else but one of them is ideal if it were to happen I think) kills him
when it comes to Madison I think it would be very easy to fuck up killing her and there is a strong argument that they really just shouldn’t do that. tbh idk what kind of death they could give Madison that would feel worth it. I guess maybe her finding Alicia (alive) and then dying to save her would be fine but also annoying at the same time. Idk. I think Troy dying is a lot more likely than Madison dying tbh
in terms of characters that aren’t Madison or Troy, I don’t really care. I mean, I think it would be nice if these final eps had a body count but in terms of who that is, idrc. I like everyone so I’ll be a little sad no matter what but I don't think any of them (like june, strand, dwight, luciana etc) dying would be some massive disservice to their characters. it'll kinda be a long time coming if anything like this show loves to just not kill ppl for some reason
I’m really looking forward to seeing scenes with Troy and Tracy. the scene in the car is the only one we’ve seen a bit of I think but I assume there’s gonna be more. also she better not die like.. I hadn’t really thought of that til now tbh and idk how I’d feel about it. I think it’s unlikely anyways tbh
I remember there being a scene where Tracy and Madison are in a car and Tracy shoots her? which like.. okay. honestly have no theories about that, just interested to see it
that shot of Tracy with the bluebonnets fucks with me btw like I’m not about to be actually insane and act like it somehow means Troy and Nick and Tracy are connected but its obviously for the viewers in terms of it being a clear reference to Nick and I like it a lot
I’ve gone back and forth in it a lot but I think I’m gonna lock in the prediction that Alicia is gonna be alive (tho if she is dead I honestly don’t think I’d mind? I know a lot of ppl are like this is so unfair to do, killing a character like her off screen (unless we get a flashback) but tbh I think it would be kinda baller as long as the way it’s revealed is good (which, so far, it’s not felt quite as dramatic as I was expecting it to be so who knows if they’ll be able to do a good reveal tbh)
Tracy told Madison the place that Alicia actually is (unless she’s lying again ofc which is very possible) and idk maybe she’s alive there. I’m tryna think how unreasonable it would be for Troy to just keep Alicia captive somewhere like is that insane behaviour even for him? I have no idea. maybe he blames her for his partner’s death like he does Madison (which I still think is dumb as hell btw) and so would keep her captive. also I think him going around cutting arms off doesn’t really help with deciding if he killed her or not bc I could see him doing that to taunt Madison either way. also also, him having Alicia’s arm is kinda the only thing that’s making me think he really does have her somewhere, dead or alive, but even that is like well maybe they fought and he got her arm but then she just.. got away and Tracy saying a location to Madison was just another lie to try and save her ass. woah I kinda hate theorising bc there’s just so many different routes that this could go I cba with guessing omg
also I just remembered the clip in the trailer of someone carrying a body and I cba to go back and watch it and analyse who it could be but I’m looking forward to it bc I would like a body count
I would like the season to end with padre intact I think but like I’m also not that attached to padre so at the same time I’m not massively bothered about it, the ideal scenario would be Madison and co living there alongside Troy and his ppl in relative peace but honestly I think that’s an absolute pipe dream like there’s surely no way that’s happening
I saw a synopsis somewhere that says about an unexpected hero and I really hope this unexpected hero is Alicia. I think Troy having her captive somewhere coulda also be cool but her rocking up to save ppl would be so cool. tbh I worry it’ll be someone anticlimactic as fuck like Al or something 😭 I also would looove for it to be Troy but idk how likely that is. I don’t think it’s impossible but when I read it my initial thought was that it was gonna be someone we hadn’t seen in a while, not one of the current characters so idk
I am still kinda in my clown costume hoping for some kind of spin-off of this spin-off icl and idk maybe it’s mostly bc I just can’t imagine all of these characters never being seen again but I also don’t think it’s like, horrifically clown-y of me to think it’s possible. they’ve been pumping out spin-offs lately and are clearly pushing for this franchise being a big universe. most of the fear characters we have left, while I like them, could just be binned and we can move on but there’s a few in there that are so good that it’s like why not take them from this show that’s been on the rocks for years and give them their own little focused spin-off/s. and the new spin-offs we’ve got have so far been really good so I’d have hope that a new fear spin-off would be solid tbh. depending on which characters they take on lmao. I’m kinda like would they have already announced it by now if something like this was happening but we had the strikes for ages that would have paused things and idk maybe they learnt from their mistakes with the main show bc announcing a bunch of spin-offs pre-finale just told us who was gonna survive lmao
outside of my spin-off clowning, I’m mildly worried about their wrap up ability with this show icl like the main show imo had a great finale but it wasn’t really a finale bc it was basically a set up for multiple spin-offs so I’m like idk what to expect with fear. all I can really imagine rn is some kind of time skip where we see everyone just living their best lives at padre which is so basic but like what are the odds that’s exactly what we’re gonna get. and I know I said I think I want it to end with everyone happy at padre but honestlyyy part of me wants the end to be like, depressing as fuck idk. kill some ppl, fuck shit up. that maybe would also lend to there being a spin-off where we see where a couple of the characters end up after everything gets ruined somehow, but also even just ending the show like that with no spin-offs would kinda be ballsy as fuck and I’d potentially love it. okay maybe scratch my previous point about wanting them to live at padre. unless them living at padre includes Troy living there with Madison and co at peace, I want the end of this show to be depressing as hell
#twd txt#fear the walking dead#madison clark#Troy Otto#me when I just absolutely waffle for however many words#I’m so ready to be DONE theorising and just know wtf the happens
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how did you figure out that you’re nonbinary and that you specifically use they/them pronouns? /genq
oh okay so figuring out gender was a ‘casper is stupid for 17 entire years’ situation.
i basically came out of the cradle insisting that it was cringe and terrible of my parents to think of me as a girl. i was, emphatically, a Pokémon obsessed little guy since i could form entire sentences. but it was 2002, and frankly i was more concerned with how far i could spit and collecting spiders off the bushes to be worried about it. my parents (bless) were 100% cool with getting my clothes in the boys section & letting me do whatever i wanted (except get ice cream from the ice cream van every day. their one and only instance of homophobia 😔) so i didn’t really suffer, especially, beyond scowling at people in school when they dared to refer to me.
it was pretty clear to me when i was 11 that having a cursed body was, indeed, going to be a curse. not worth mentioning how terrible and evil 11-14 was for me physically, tho to be fair i also took up swordfighting then so swings and roundabouts.
but yeah, around when i was 9 i knew there was a huge massive problem but then my mom got cancer (multiple myeloma) and… yeah gender crisis took a backseat while we watched her almost die about three times (pulmonory embolism, stem-cell transplant, getting shingles with no immune system bc chemo). my grandmother looked after me while Hospital.
unhelpful to the anti-trans-kids-existing demons bc she was also like intensely indulgent of my refusal to wear anything but my brazil football jersey. she let me eat nothing but artificial cheese slices put on a single slice of white bread and then microwaved because i had the massive trump card of not being allowed to see my mother for almost six months. i think she was grateful that i seemed to find the whole situation too serious to cry over. my best friend was a boy & he was pretty willing to be like ‘ok cool. ur not a girl. can we go on the trampoline?’
& then, when things calmed down & i was about 16/17, i had come out as gay (good for me) about two years before & then i realised i was oh fuck A Bit More Complicated than that i spent a while agonising over it. really a long walks on the beach pondering my gay ass type deal.
but then, just when i was kind of starting to vibe with being enby, I got really really sick, which lasted aboooout 5/6 years where it was just an old school platforming game but titled ‘casper tries not to die while trying to get a degree & two masters’). very do not pass go do not collect 200 of the universe to Do That. but hey.
so it was around Pandemic when i finally got the brainspace to actually think, & i realised that i was definitely trans, probably nonbinary. i experimented for a while with different pronouns. realised my ‘dumbass nickname everyone has to call me’ was my ACTUAL NAME (never underestimate my stupidity and ignorance) & yeah at first i was thinking of going the hormones path (do not ever please god don’t get me started on how hard that is in this stupid bastard country. 5 years waiting period, on average. have to get diagnosed formally by a team of psychiatrists with what is characterised as a ‘mental illness’. have to ‘live’ - as Some Fucker sees it - as your ‘chosen’ gender for like two years AND be out to basically everybody - realistic and safe i say sarcastically i say while looking into the camera like i'm on the office - oh look i got started. anyway. bullshittery)
but eventually i realised huh nope i just wanted top surgery (same fucking deal with the health service tho) & for people to use they/them generally (i am not too fussed w/ pronouns for myself tho. like, a lot of my friends use he/him because frankly i deserve it most of the time with the himbo behaviour. professionally i insist on they/them for consistency. i get congnitive dissonance with she/her as in i get a weird shock & want to laugh & wonder who the fuck they’re talking about for a sec before i realise it’s me. but like, miffed too much i am not).
also gender is a big pendulum for me it’s an elliptic orbit sometimes for a few weeks i’m like a feminine guy and other times i feel like a masculine gay & sometimes i feel like the autism creature (bc i AM an autism creature, always).
but i have, essentially, felt nonbinary always. trust me i have a pic of blue-eyed blond 5y/o me sitting on my bed in my Pokemon-themed room wearing a Manchester United jersey and holding my PS2 controller in my hands with a profoundly vacant and himboish expression on my face. it did fully take me 17 whole years to have my ‘oh’ moment about it, but a lot of that was profoundly indulgent parents who were you can’t even imagine how determined to not raise me the way they were raised - which meant, apparently, that if i wanted to be a spider-collecting, bug obsessed pokémon-fixated little guy who kept snapping branches off the bamboo and fashioning makeshift swords out of them - well then that was the creature they’d send to school every day.
i think the tldr here is: casper stupid. gender a concept.
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-rolls in and tosses this into your ask box-
I've shown folks my jacket before, but I like getting input on what other people think might be fun to add on~
I already intend to add some grucifixes here and there, but I figured I might see what you think I should add on to this thing.
Also, as per my usual agenda...
I had more mirror thoughts.
Okay, so, the set up: The ghouls + Copia go on a retreat to some kind of Dracula's castle like location for teambuilding and so forth, and the place is massive.
Like, it's easy to get lost, and even when you're right next door to somebody, you can't hear anything.
In other words it's ideal for sexy shenanigans.
Anyway, while they're staying there, Copia, or maybe their host, thinks it would be fun to kind of get everyone to dress up/be thematic to the aesthetic or whatever, or maybe it's even a sort of themed murder mystery hotel or what have you.
Point is, at some point Dew winds up in an old fashioned sleep shirt/nightgown deal, because the sleeping in boxers and a tank top doesn't "fit the theme" and also the place is cold as fuck for some reason and the classic jammies are real comfy and warm.
So the vision I have here; Dew dressed up like that, holding a candle because the power went out during a storm, because of course it did, walking past a mirror and seeing a ghostly reflection standing beside him, and getting the absolute shit scared out of him, only to find out it's Rain, equally lost and looking like a dramatic, flouncy lord.
The tldr is that they fuck nasty in front of a big ass, gilded mirror, and also maybe Copia gets pegged at some point in the evening, but like brides of Dracula kinda vibes thing going on, idk.
The last bit only came to me, because I think Cirrus can and should get to dominate someone while dressed up like a vampire, I dunno.
-picks up jacket and walks out-
Ok. First of all. Your jacket!? Amazing. Incredible. I'm obsessed. My first thought for things to add is more song lyrics(only because that's what I would do)! I really love the TWRP pins. Those are RAD.
Second. HOLY SHIT LAMP YOUR BRAIN. It's so big. Fucking MASSIVE. I am obsessed with this. Creepy dark castle. Everyone in weird flouncy white clothes.
Definitely not thinking about Rain ducking under Dew's night shirt to give him head and being completely shrouded by it.
Or about them loudly railing each other in front of a mirror just staring at each other's reflections the whole time. They both cum so fasttttt.
Cirrus is going to go all in on brides of Dracula pegging. She is going to ruin Copias life and he will 100000% thank her for it, as he should.
They're going to come back from this retreat with weird new kinks and a lot more burises than they left with. But it's definitely an annual thing now. (And Dew for sure stole his nightgown because "it was comfy" and not because Rain gets hard every time he sees Dew in it, definitely not.)
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