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system-of-a-feather · 4 months

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(CW: Vent, CSA, grooming, blind trust / faith / following, physical abuse mention)

Honestly, some talk about our oldest sister, but I find it very very fucking satisfying to see how poorly her relationship with the rest of the family tanked the moment I realized the damage she did to us and refused to serve her anymore. Among many other things - much more nefarious and fucked up - she raised us to be her personal attack dog and to blindly defend her regardless and I kid you not, growing up - when she was there, when she WASNT there, when she was miles away and not doing herself any services - I spoke for and adovcated for and kept secrets for her to keep her image in our family clean, to counter the THREE times she had been disowned by our parents, to make sure our parents kept an open door for her. She did nothing to keep in good graces with the family other than sometimes playing nice with them but deadass told me the only reason she came to any of the parties was to be with me.

Which cute, wonderful and all, but the bitch fucking wanted that support from our family and its been like what? Two years or so? Since we cut ties with her? Stopped reporting our life to her every two weeks? Stopped keeping secrets of shit she did and said to keep her image clean? Stopped coming up with reasons and excuses for her behavior?

And what now? Our parents, who are the ever "good parents" tolerate her - barely and disgruntled? My middle sister acknowledges her as a right wing Amazon-working transphobic and possibly homophobic republican when my sister is MORE radical left in a number of areas than we are and what? She's now avoiding me and the family for holidays which makes our middle sister - who has BPD - take that as a massive slight and worsens that relationship? Increases the distance between her and the parents?

Good man. Good, stay away.

You aren't welcome here and I'm so fucking glad shes not coming that I was not even sardonic when my mom told me she actually decided to double back and just not come again.

Honestly, I don't have to wish her ill because honestly, she makes her own life horrible and ruins her relationships without me anyways and its been a never ending sense of schadenfreude to watch her ruin her own shit.

I also will say, I don't think I am over the sheer level of disrespect and realization as to how little respect and value she held to me when after YEARS and YEARS of fighting our family (both physically and verbally) for her, after being a blind loyal fucking dog to her for years, after being OK with all the garbage she exposed us to, handed us off to, and hurt us - she decided that she drew the line at me *checks notes* saying I need space for one holiday because *check notes* her husband who is / was ten years older than me when I was a minor was sending me *checks notes* a shit ton of pornography games when *checks notes* I was already a known grooming / CSA survivor that *checks notes* she at least enable and possibly *checks notes* facilitated.

Apparently, being her ride or die who blindly and faithfully believed anything she told us (even to the point of believing we had 2D vision and had special vision at age 14-16), APPARENTLY she wasn't sure if she would be able to still walk with me if I *checks notes* stated that I needed emotional space because I was processing CSA trauma and her husband - while not the main perpetrator - was enough of a part of that to the point it made me extremely uncomfortable.

I had literally made the decisions that I was aware she played a large role in that and made the decision that I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt, the benefit of my thousands of excuses and contexts that I used to get her out of shit with our parents, and say I would forgive her and that I understood despite her never ONCE apologizing. I was completely overlooking it and letting it fly for her role in it, all I needed was for ONE holiday that her creepy fucking weeb ass husband maybe DIDNT talk to me beyond basic pleasantries. And *that* was too much.

I'm honestly kind of thankful she drew that line (and then proceeded to DARVO and victim blame me) cause I really don't know if I could have ever taken the XIV part of my brain seriously about how much he hated her and how toxic she was because at the time, most of our system saw her as our only ally growing up.

XIV won that, and he was absolutely fucking right about her and well damn man, bless XIV being right.

But anyways, I had mentioned her in terms of Christmas and remembered its like the second anniversary of her completely being a total bitch about shit and TOTALLY dropping the ball on her blindly loyal attack dog and getting the fuck bit out of her.

Fucking angry bless hallelujah a fucking bitch ate shit.

Best thing she ever did was be such an idiot it made me realize she was a fucking toxic parasite that needed me far far far far far more than I need her.

Cause fuck her man. She can fucking sit in her castle of shit and cry about it as if she didn't build it herself.

#alter: fei #<- fused vent #alter: riku #alter: xiv #vent #oldest sister #christmas vent #csa tw #grooming tw #physical abuse tw

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twatshag · 3 years

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��RUIN ME✿

Warnings: SMUT, DADDY KINK, edging, established relationship with !TIMESKIP! Suna rintaro

MINORS DNI

[11:30 PM]

You sighed while rolling your eyes as you put your phone down by the night stand. "Stupid fucking bet." You hissed.

If you were going to see another glimpse of a half assed 'good luck 🤭" message from your groupchat you might as well just throw your phone out your window.

I mean why were you doing it anyway? paying up to 360¥ per person Just because your best friends all made love with their boyfriends and you don't, doesn't make your sex life with Suna any less intimate and loving.

He knew what you liked and what you didn't like and that was enough proof right ?

No you wanted to shut their faces up and shock your boyfriend by just letting him relax and show you his love physically.

As funny as it is to say but Suna isn't the one who keeps fucking you shitless because, god does he try to take it slow with you. To show you his love through physical intimacy but you 'always want to be a damn brat' as he always says.

Always telling him that you need more of him, you beg him to go faster, to show you stars. For him to have his way with you. But sometimes he wishes to just kiss you deeply while giving you slow strokes for hours, appreciating your beautiful face and the way it shifts when he glides against your g-spot. He wants to be the only one who sees you like this.

But he didn't mind he was grateful for your beautiful fucked out face. The way you moaned his name was enough to make your wishes his command.

He'd always describe it as "bribing" or "straight up black magic" with the way you had him wrapped around your little finger.

Sometimes he would huff and pout after sex and tell you how he was excited to make love to you but you had to use "your black magic/bribing" mechanisms and ruin a sappy loving moment.

What a dork you smiled as you thought about him. Speaking of the devil there he was. The man responsible for you limping to your idiotic best friends when you all agreed to hang out, going to his games, going out of his games. The man responsible for you limping in general really.

Everyone thought he was the mean dom who just won't accept to fuck you less rough because he wants to have you corrupted but you both knew who really was the one responsible for your limping.

Suna smiled as he walked into your shared room locking eyes with you as his own laced with worry. Drying his hair from his shower. Abs on full display only wearing boxers.

Thank the gods for such a sexy boyfriend you thought.

"You wanted to talk princess ?" The bed dipped down as he sat next to your figure and he opened his arms for you so that he got a head start that you wanting to talk wasn't you breaking up with him.

Humming in response you snuggled closer to the 193 cm man and kissed his neck burying your face against his chest.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you something." His hand now in your hair scratching your scalp and kissing the top of your head responding with a small "Hm?" Against your soft hair.

You looked up at him pulling away softly while biting your lip. he looked down at you, love and adoration lacing his eyes as he stared in yours smiling while still scratching your scalp softly. "Do you want to..well, make love to me?"

With that said his movement comes to a halt with wide eyes. last time you said something like this it ended up with him breaking the bed with you and he gave you the silent treatment for 5 hours because "you were a damn brat and had to fuck it up last minute." As he stated.

He rolled his eyes and flicked your forehead and pushed you off him softly. "Not falling for this again y/n."

As he got up and decided to finish getting dressed or he might just give in to your little games again.

"Rinnnnn I'm serious! I really want you to make love to me !!" You pouted following him like a lost puppy into the open closet.

He sighed as he searched for his sweats. "No, I am not going to do this again." Brushing past you to look in the other collection. You groaned mentally cursing yourself for always ruining a beautiful moment.

You whined as you hugged his bare back "But daddy-" oh at that ? He was listening he turned his head and body to face you faster than the speed of light. Because last time you did this you didn't call him daddy and you totally didn't sound as whiney as you do now.

He smirked at you "mm?" He leaned forward a bit just so you were at kissing height. "Daddy what? Princess?" You gulped already wet at the way his eyes sparkled with lust.

"I..want you to make love to me..daddy." suna loved seeing you like this. He loved seeing you beg for him. But there was something about fucking you so painfully slow for your own pace and stopping just when you finally feel that you're cumming made him harder than iron.

Smirking smugly he closed the 2 cm gap between the two of you, kissing you softly. Resting his forehead against yours.

"Okay, I'll play with you bunny. But are you sure you can take it?" You nodded against him "Yeah, I've taken worse before" he chuckled yeah that was your causing though he thought.

"Alright then lead the way pretty girl." Smiling sheepishly you grabbed his hand and interlocked your fingers with his and pushed him in the bed as you stripped.

He smirked at the sight of your skin becoming exposed by the mili-second. Wow you really wanted him to do it huh? He thought.

You got on top of him as he grabbed your waist settling you nicely on his hard member.

You moaned at the contact and kissed him hungrily as he smiled against your devouring.

Pulling away just as you were enjoying yourself, whimpering at the loss of his warmth. "You know that, when you want to attempt to make love you're supposed to kiss slowly and not try to eat my face up right?" He chuckled flipping you as you're now under him as he kissed you slowly and lovingly shutting you up from any comeback you had to throw at his statement.

You moaned as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth letting it explore the oh so familiar wetness and warmth.

His hand rested on your thighs squeezing it , moving his hand up slowly to the hem of your knickers letting it slide under the fabric where it rested on your hips.

He groaned against you as you grabbed his hand to show him your wet core through the fabric. Silently begging him to do something about your gushing cunt. But suna had no interest in rushing things.

Pulling away slightly to breathe and hearing you pant under him to move to your neck and give it the appreciation it deserves.

He moved his hand to knead your breast in between his beautiful strong veiny hands softly appreciating its warmth and softness sliding your bra down to pinch and play with your nipples while his tongue dragged against your neck.

You bucked your hips up at his hard member allowing the male ontop of you to groan as he pushed your hips down into the mattress so that you don't ruin his moment of pure body worship.

"Ahgnn- Rinnn" you whined as you desperately clung to his wet hair for grounding. As he sucked and nibbled on your neck making every shade against it.

Leaning in to kiss your earlobe as he whispered against it "shh let me love you pretty girl, I'll give you what you want, greedy baby." He cooed.

His hand reached to unclapse your bra and toss it to the side of the room. He buried his face in to your breast as he sucked and ran his tongue on it. Nibbling on your nipple to ignite the fire in you even more.

At that point you could've sworn you're a burning hungry for more-bonfire.

Moaning at the sudden contact your grip on his hair tightened throwing your head back a bit as he glided his tongue all the way to your earlobe biting softly at the skin and kissing it.

"Tell me what to do bunny hm? Where do you want me ?" His voice so raspy like that you wanted to scream for him to just fuck you right now but that meant losing the promise you made to yourself and your friends or rather the bet. You wanted to do something for him just like he always gives in to your greedy slut needs.

"Whatever you want to do to me daddy I'd accept it I just want to feel loved by you." was suna dreaming ? No he can't be right?

Just how long are you willing to keep this act up? But he didnt care even if it was an act he wants to enjoy it as much as he can while it lasts.

He pulled away as he stared wide eyed at your flushed face and panting figure. "Is that what you want bunny?" You nodded "Are you sure ?" You giggled at his concern as you wrapped your arms around his neck "mhm, one-hundred percent positive" he smirked kissing your lips innocently one last time before he decided to play along.

Oh how you wished it was as innocent as it seemed.

Suna dipped his head as he began to kiss your body down to the upper hem of your knickers biting it down to reveal your wet cunt and let it go as he kissed your clit through the fabric.

Moaning at the warmth against your throbbing core he looked up at you.

Savouring this memory of you in his head forever he decided that it's time to give you what you want.

He is making love to you after all.

He pulled your knickers off you slowly kissing each and every inch of your thighs, inner and outer, your knees, your ankles all the way until you were completely bare under him.

He smiled at your figure silently appreciating it.

"Hey, stop staring its embarrassing." You pouted at him deep shade of pink on the apples of your cheek the sight of you leaving the brunette chuckling as he lowered himself to kiss your lips as he hummed against your lips.

"You know this isn't the first time I see you naked right? And I sure hope it'll never be the last" he smiled as he leaned against you placing a sloppy kiss against your lips. The way he explored your mouth was hungry and full of lust.

He reached to pull your leg up so he had better access to your folds. Playing with your wet core as you let out a whimper against his lips.

"So wet for me, and I barely touched you bunny." Without warning he slipped a finger inside your throbbing hole allowing you to moan at the sudden contact.

It's been so long since you've seen Rintaro, with him on away games all the time your hole shrunk without his thick, long cock stretching you out.

And boy did he love the tightness of your small cunt against his finger. His cock swelled so badly at the feel of your hole clenching on his finger.

But of course suna was in no rush he pumped his finger into you slowly staring at the way your cunt kept swallowing and spitting out his finger.

Lewd sounds coming from your cunt at the action. You grinded against his hand wanting him to do more as he smirked.

"Will you ever let me enjoy one moment of appreciating your sexy body bunny? Why are you so greedy?" Pouting at you he leaned into your cunt as his hot breathe hit your clit.

You wanted to kick him. He was trying to break you so bad he wanted you to beg for him. But you wanted him to enjoy this. Oh boy was he enjoying this. Maybe too much even.

Silently begging for him to do something as if he could read your mind he licked your slit as he fingered you, hitting your spot flat with his finger tip.

Oh did he love tasting you, after all suna is human and even he is greedy sometimes. He wants to always, always taste more of you.

That's exactly what he did. Sucking and licking your clit leaving you a whimpering mess under him.

It boosted his ego so bad. "R-ahhgn-Rin please, god ye-s." You moaned against your orally gifted boyfriend.

Curling your toes as you felt you could literally die from the way he was hungrily handling you right now. He looked up at you, his snake like eyes staring you down enjoying the way your face would shift to various emotions pulling away to harshly spit against your clit perfectly.

As you jolted at the sudden wet 'slap' on your clit he attacked you hungrily adding another finger and curling them both so that they hit your spot perfectly as his tongue swirled onto your throbbing core. He moved your clit around and sucked on it while his fingers stretched you.

Feeling your high already approaching from the over stimulation of his actions you buckled your hips upwards moaning loudly.

"G-ah f-fuck i-m gonna cum Rin d-dont st-op." He was now aggressively thrusting his fingers into you and licking harder against your clit as you felt the knot in your stomach began to loosen the brunette decided to play a little game.

What was it? Oh to edge you. He pulled away as you moaned loudly in irration. "RINNNN.." you whined clearly annoyed at this. He chuckled as he shoved his fingers back into your wet cunt and curled them hitting your spot just like he was doing earlier.

"Shh bunny, be a good girl. Let me play with you." He smirked as you groaned at his statement. continuing to reach your high as he licked your pussy hungrily searching for something. God knows what exactly was he looking for with his tongue attached to your gushing cunt like that.

"Aaahgnn- y-es o-h god y-es Rin y-ehes ahh fuck mhmm, please let me cum ah!" You felt your high approaching once again as if your body was upset too that it didn't release its arousal, this time your body demanded to cum.

You felt yourself shake under suna. He knew what that mean. You were going to squirt and he loved watching you squirt for him but not when he's like this. Not when hes trying to break you first. Just as your wetness interrupted the cream on his fingers he pulled away immediately and looked up at you with his hungry eyes to see your reaction.

[12:10 AM]

Suna edged you as if you were his little pocket pussy for the next forty minutes. You cringed at yet another sign of yet another edge as suna decided to keep playing this dangerous no cumming game.

You let out a whimper and a sob. "F-for fuck's sake st-op edging m-me !" You spat at him as he smirked and got on top of you now face to face with the professional athlete.

"Then tell me what you want, bunny." Suna could do this for hours breaking your walls one by one because he was a sadist. He loved not letting you cum, edging you and frustrating you to point of begging.

You stared into his dark eyes they were gushing out lust. He wanted to fuck you, slow strokes and neck kisses maybe pick up his pace and let you cum on his cock but not today. Nootttttt todayyyyy he thought he wanted you to beg for him. To beg him to ruin you. Just like you always do.

You shifted your gaze blushing deeply at his gaze. "To make love to me suna." You rolled your eyes at him trying to hide your desire for him to just rail you.

He smirked at you "oh yeah? Okay I guess I'll keep eating you out then." He lowered himself but was deemed unsuccessful as you grabbed his face making him look up at you.

"N-no i want you to be inside me.." he smirked at you happy he broke two walls by now. One more to go he thought.

He lowered himself to give you a sloppy kiss, his tongue already on your lips and then your own as he rubbed your swollen clit. Harshly pulling out all the air your lungs saved with his kiss he decided to finally let you breathe again.

"I'll give you what you want bunny." He smirked, sitting up straight, grabbing you by the thighs to pull you closer to him or his swollen cock really.

You whimpered while biting your lip as he brought his cock along side your slit teasing you as if it was asking for entrance.

"Pl-ease j-just put it in- AHGN!" Suna decided to surprise you and push it deep into you without waiting.

Arching your back as his cock hit your cervix perfectly. He always filled you up to the brim.

As you finally thanked the gods for getting the thrusting you deserved suna had other plans.

He was in no rush so he began to kiss you. The lewd sounds of the way he groaned against your lips and tongue swirling aimlessly.

You clenched so roughly around him begging to be fucked and he knew that. But he wanted to hear it from you.

He wanted to edge and tease you as long as it took for you to beg for friction.

"R-in please.." he hummed in response as he sucked on your neck and massaged your breast and adjusted himself so he was in the perfect position to cockwarm you.

"Stop teasing m-ah-Me." He smiled against your breast "hmm? if i recall correctly you said you wanted me to do anything i wanted to do to you bunny. Isn't that right?" he said between kisses and licks you whimpered as he bit your nipples and tugged the sensitive bud between his teeth rolling his hips to tease your spot.

"P-please j-just f-ah f-uck me." you whisper moaned. Ah there it is, suna thought.

truth is you gave up trying to make love with suna along time ago because it never worked out suna was an edger and a teaser. only giving in when you begged him to. And well, you were like putty in his hands and you hated not finishing.

"hmm? i can't hear you princess." he smirked as he contiued rolling his hips sitting up as he stared at your flushed frustrated face. this was gonna end in two ways he told himself.

one> you were going to keep this act up for another 15 minutes until breaking

two> you were going to break right about...

"I WANT YOU TO RUIN ME SUNA RINTARŌ!"

..now

he widened his eyes at the desperation lacing your tone but he smirked because that's exactly where he wanted you. he lowered his face staring intensely into your eyes "I thought you'd never ask." and at that he was thrusting sharply into you.

you yelped at the sudden rush of adrenaline his dick had runting into you. Pain mixing in with pleasure.

Suna was big..Bigger than the average person and if it was possible for him to rip you apart he was doing just that.

you moaned loudly as he grabbed your hips roughly, thrusting into you as if he wanted to kill you with his dick.

"F-fuck you're so tight-ah shit. You damn brat, Always begging me to fuck you like a whore." he knew just how slutty you were for him, for his cock.

he loved to break you, salvoured every moment he got as he broke you. you moaned at his pace and the way his cock was banging against your cervix making you roll your eyes backwards, mouth drooling from the overstimulation.

"God look at your whore face so fucked out already. I love it, No I'm obsessed with it." he leaned in to kiss you deeply. Even though suna's thrusts were the exact opposite of loving his kiss was truly something else.

you panted trying to escape his runting and sharp circles being drawn on the sensitive bundle of nerves by attempting to push him as your hand weakly rested on his toned stomach.

"Sl-ow D-down R-Rin." you whined against his hips.

Suna loves when you tell him to slow down because that is his green card. He had you exactly where he wanted you . He now has full access to fuck you into oblivion.

And that's excatly what he did. He runted into you hungerly making you scream and cling onto him for balance.

nails digging deeply into his back as you threw your head back and he sucked and bit harshly at your neck.

"You take my cock so well princess mhm, you're so good for me. you like that huh ? you like when i fuck you like this huh ? Such a dirty whore for me bunny." sitting up straight to have better access to your spot to thrust into as he wrapped his defined hand around your throat.

"A-h a- oh my - god Ye-s D-daddy Y-es pLea-se yES!" You moaned loudly as he kept his bone crushing pace up. His stamina was insane. For such a lazy person he'd always have enough energy to fuck the hell out of you.

Feeling your hole clench hardly around him he smirked knowing you were going to be cumming soon so he grabbed both of your thighs pushing them against your chest and keeping you in that position.

you laid perfectly for his eyes to see the way your cunt swallowed him whole. "I-m g-on-naaahh- mhhmm - I'm cumming daddy P-lease." your legs were shaking violenty because of the position you were in and the easy access he got to hit your gspot and the spot to allow you to squirt in one go. groaning at the way you clenched and how your walls were like heaven against his cock.

"F-fuck, agnh- You're clenching so hard around me, bunny. Let daddy see you squirt. I wanna see you cum and squirt for me baby." he sucked his bottom lip in as he felt his high approaching the harder you clenched.

he reached to your clit letting your throat go and he began to rub circles as fast as he could and pounded faster in you.

throwing your head back. You saw stars, eyes crossed completely fucked out of your brain moaning loudly as you unraveled and dug your nails deeper into his skin. the knot in your stomach finally broken. as his thrusts got sloppier pulling out to cum on your stomach.

As Suna pulled out once you both came, he shoved two of his fingers inside you curling them and thrusting into your sweet spot mercilessly giving you no room for coming down off your high.

making you shake and try to escape from his fingers he grabbed your hip with one hand silently telling you to take it.

"R-IN AAA-hhhhh P--l-e-aseee S-s-st-AAAAAHHHH" you shaked as you squirted all over his body. he kept shoving his fingers into you trying to rob every little drop of water inside of you.

"Thaaaaat's it baby, that's it let me see you squirt." he finally pulled his fingers out of your poor weak hole after the bed sheets were drenched and so was he.

you panted as your legs were shaking violently bringing your hands to your face to try to come off your high and to process what you just felt.

Suna moved your hands out of the way as your eyes shot open and he smiled at you. "Well? Have we learned our lesson?" you rolled your eyes at him and hit his chest "Shut up, it was your fault that i was so needy!" he chuckled kissing your lips as he said in between kisses "I wasn't the one who said ruin me." "I said shut up".

He pulled your blushing figure into his chest as he cuddled you and lifted your chin up to look at him.

"I love you, pretty baby." making you blush even more he decided that teasing you can be done at anytime just not now. Kissing you deeply as he enjoyed the warmth you raidiated for him.

cuddling you closer as you drifted off to sleep in his arms, vowing to himself that he'll always be the one to make you moan like you did.

------------------------------------

[ 12:30 PM]

BONUS

you groaned at the sharp pain in your legs as you tried to drag yourself out of your bed to the kitchen.

Suna thought you needed all the rest you could take because he knew this would happen.

he smiled at your grumpy figure walking around mumbling curses under your breath as you literally dragged your self around clutching any surface for support as you entered the kitchen.

You felt Suna's gaze on you ignoring his smug stupid smirk that you saw from the corner of your eyes.

"Wow and what happened to you there bunny?" you had about enough of his shit you were limping because of HIM and he had the nerve to ask you about it!

"I really don't want to talk to you right now Suna. You broke my hip."

He chuckled standing up and walking over to your leaning figure against the counter and wrapped his hands around your waist kissing your shoulder and pulling your ass towards his hard cock as your breath hitched.

he brought his lips to your ears letting his breath shiver down your spine. "You know..i think i can readjust your broken hip for you bunny.."

Suna Rintarō was going to be the death of you. But you didn't mind. at least you had him even though each of your friends were now 360¥ richer.

It still didn't matter because he was here and that is all you needed.

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A/N: Heyyy sorry yall i've been so busy with exams :( this was inspired by my irl friends LMFAOOO they aint shit i do be freaky but they ain't have to say it like dat..💔 hope you guys enjoyed!!-kira

#haikyuu smut #suna rintaro imagine #suna x y/n #suna rintarou #suna smut #suna x you #suna fluff #suna x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x imagines

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thisdreamplace · 3 years

Note

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

#eiypo

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rintakisses · 3 years

Text

“volley of the ball” pt 17

3rd person POV:

after the date y/n thought suna was taking them home but he turned away from their house which left them confused

“oh suna you missed the turn for my house..” they said nervously

“nu-uh this date isnt over darling” he said mischievously

“i thought you were kidnapping me or something”

“who would kidnap you?”

“excuse me? are you implying that someone wouldn’t kidnap me because of how i look?”

“no im saying no one would kidnap you because you’re with me a sexy beefy strong man” he said flexing one arm while the other hand was on the wheel.

y/n’s pov:

why does he look hot right now.

“so i should thank you? is that what you’re saying” i say to him

“yes, yes you should. im keeping you safe”

“my king”

“damn right”

“are you going to tell me where we’re going? or what” i ask him

“its a surprise dumb baby”

“dumb? i literally tutor you.”

“why would you bring that up”

“dont call me dumb, dummy”

“wow if i were smart i would call you something else that means dumb-“

“a synonym”

“what the fuck, whatever shut your mouth” pause. why was that hot

“fine fine you big baby”

“me? a baby? neverr”

“are we there yet?”

“you’re quite impatient”

“yes now tell me if we’re there yet”

“no.. okay wait yeah just like 5 more minutes”

“are you selling me”

“yeah sorry”

“fuck you rinnie pie”

“the nickname sounds prettier in person”

“oh? how so”

“its coming of out of that pretty mouth of yours”

“what the fuck suna why would you tell me that”

“huh?”

“you can’t say that to me and not expect me to freak out”

“you’re just overreacting its an innocent compliment”

“innocent my ass. you’ve been hanging out with atsumu way too much lately”

“that ass does not have game like i do”

“hes a hell of a setter”

“whatever im a middle blocker. praise me”

“no”

“is it because you cant get over my blocks” he says with a pout

“you lost nationals 1st round please shut the hell up”

“ayo what the fuck”

“are we there yet”

“wait actually yes you talk too much i thought we were never gonna get here”

“im never speaking again”

“good” i fake zip my lips and the car stops. we get out and suna takes my hand without hesitation. he walks me over to this mountain too. it was practically night already so we could see the stars. it was so beautiful.

sunas pov:

holy shit im literally holding their hand at a date. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. wait why arent they talking

“why arent you talking? speak”

“....”

“oh no you didnt mean that did you?”

“....”

“you know only people that speak to me get kisses?”

“ayo what do you mean? thats like discrimination”

“mhm, anyways.. here is the big surprise that i wanted to show you.. yeah”

“its quite beautiful, its so soothing and calming. im happy you took me here” they smile at me and i literally would propose if we werent 16 and high schoolers.

“yeah? im glad i took you.” why am i suddenly so nervous. “you look really dashing right now” dashing? what the fuck who even says that?

“wait i didnt mean dashing i meant like you look like go-“

“thank you. ive never heard someone call me dashing. i like it”

“oh well then yeah you look dashing” that damned smile keeps coming back. nothing could ever make me melt like their smile does. it was so.. true i could tell they were happy. their eyes glimmered with their smile. it was adorable i love it. LOVE?

“so.. are we gonna sit or..” they ask me

“yeah.. yeah actually come here”

“mmkay” i take them to a little set up, i paid atsumu to set this up so i hope they like it

“oh my god this is so sweet” they say

“im glad you like it”

“i love it” love. yeah love haha love the set up not me duh yeah duh. we sit down and just look at everything. the stars, the moon, the city lights. it was like a dream.

“hey can i ask you something?” y/n ask me

“yeah whats up?”

“okay so i was wondering if-“ they stopped talking. why did they stop talking?

“this is a cute little date” some voice says behind me. what the fuck are you doing here.

3rd person POV:

as soon as y/n was gonna pop the question to suna someone decided to show up and ruin the moment. but who?

“what are you doing here?” suna asks

“heard from a little birdie you’d be here... with them”

“who the fuck? okay whatever that doesnt matter leave” suna replies

“its a public park babe i can stay if i want to” she says with a devilish smirk “plus i thought you needed help getting out of this date. doesnt seem like you’re original. i remember this place you took me here when we first started to date. you asked me to be your girlfriend and then you kissed me right there where y/n is sitting. how romantic. and let me guess! you were gonna do the same thing?” silence. suna didnt know what to say. he was embarrassed he didnt want y/n to think that he didnt put effort into this he did he wanted this to work out like a love story. he turned to y/n they were annoyed.

“hey wait this isnt like that this is different dont think you arent less important or something im sorry i didnt think this through” he told y/n, almost crying..(?)

“suna baby calm down, okay? its fine dont worry we can talk later. now onto you. he left you, he isnt your boyfriend anymore? why are you so obsessed with him?” y/n says

“because it’s obvious he still likes me? cmon y/n you arent that dull? i was his first everything. people just dont forget stuff like that.”

“Ami you can just leave honestly. i dont owe you anything and i dont think i ever want to be with you again. like ever actually.” suna says “now leave, yeah? it isnt hard to mind your fucking business” suna left her speechless “actually we’ll just leave. seems like you like this place. brings back happy memories? yeah you wish i could say the same thing, now fuck off” suna grabbed y/ns hand and left with them.

“wow i know your balls are huge” y/n says

“what the fuck” suna replies with a small laugh

“hey not in a weird way, i hope” they say, now laughing too, “that was really hot by the way”

“what was?” he says stopping and looking at y/n

“just you, and you know standing up for us? i think thats what happened”

“is that so?” he says grabbing their chin and lifting it up to his face “maybe i need to get into kore fights then, huh?” he lets go off their chin and starts walking again

“cmon lets go somewhere, ill make this disaster date up to you” he says completely acknowledging what he did but acting innocent

“you will be the death of me rinnie pie” y/n says catching up to suna

— NAHH I HATE WRITING PLS

tag list : @tyler-dimples-jones , @itzlally , @anejuuuuoy , @burnmyart , @tchalameme , @kageyamas-love , @madmelle , @camcam1617 , @sunasspit , @etherealiwa , @sunasthing , @folkloeren , @kac-chowsballs , @bakerm1597 , @kageyamasgirl , @euphoricmads , @bap-kingdom , @fullsundear , @psychedelicwh0r3 @bakugouswh0r3 @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @saikishairclip @unhappyraspberry

#suna rintarō #haikyuu #suna x reader #haikyuu!!#suna x y/n #suna x you #suna #rintaro

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delfinodreams · 3 years

Text

OKAY i said i would make a post about my thoughts on paper mario a while ago and im finally writing it out

ill put it under a break because its probably gonna be long-ish

update: yea this bitch is LONG

okay so overall i really really enjoyed it!! it was really solid for the first entry in the series and i could definitely see the inspiration that ttyd later took from it. one thing that i didnt know about was partners not having HP, which threw me for a little bit of a loop. partners as a whole in this game don't play as active of a role as i wouldve expected because they have so little lines but using them in battle is still very fun! another small thing but i also hadn't expected mario to be completely silent, but it later grew on me!

i'm also gonna list my experiences and opinions on each chapter so here we go!!

chapter 1 - pretty alright for an introductory chapter! i didnt find anything especially notable, apart from getting 2 partners in one chapter. navigating the koopa bros. fortress was fun, and i loved the battle at the end!! their theme is SUCH a banger i had to sit back and listen to it for a bit when the fight actually started ehe

chapter 2 - not quite a fan of this one imo? i liked the first part through the mountain, but the trek though dry dry desert kinda took it out of me. BUT the addition of my favourite partner made up for it! parakarry my beloved <3 also the cutscene where dry dry ruins rise up??? that shit was SPECTACULAR. i absolutely loved how it turned dark when it first came up, i wish it stayed like that for more than just until you entered the ruins. the boss itself wasn't too exciting for me, probably because there wasnt much of a story?? i dont know how to describe it. actually its like that for quite a few of these bosses, but its the first entry for this series, so i wont fault it too much.

chapter 3 - this might be my FAVOURITE chapter- the suspense buildup throughout the entire chapter was AMAZING holy moly!!! first through the forever forest when you have bootler ask for you, and then wandering the mansion itself. i TOTALLY thought that boos were gonna be actual enemies when i saw them floating around. sneaking around tubba blubba's castle was so so fun to do, and i legitimately panicked when you ran into him in the hall and also when he wakes up and chases you back to the windmill. i didnt actually think the heart itself was the boss, just a miniboss, so i freaked out when i left the windmill and was immediately thrown into a battle with tubba blubba. i cannot express just how much i enjoyed this chapter, seriously!!

chapter 4 - coming back to toad town with the music change threw me for a bit; i wasnt expecting action to pop up so soon! figuring out that you could actually go into the toybox was such a "wait, what??" moment for me, but like, in a positive way. it was really cool to navigate this chapter and the lantern ghost encounter genuinely creeped me out at first because it was COMPLETELY dark. the fight against general guy is also a BANGER i could listen to it all day

chapter 5 - man i LOVE the whale. just a big guy willing to take u across the ocean :^) i really appreciated how you weren't stranded on the island too, like how you were on keelhaul key in ttyd. the ravens are also funky little guys, love them too. again, the lava piranha didnt really have any substance to it BUT it was a nice fight nonetheless! when it popped up again i was shocked but i made it through!! also fuck kolorado he doesnt deserve his wife

chapter 6 - this one's formatting is really neat- one central area with lots of branching paths, which i hadnt seen in my past pm experiences! i loved the quest leading up to the big beanstalk, plus the environment was so pretty!! the little part with the sun tower popped out to me, i'm not sure why though. maybe it was the music, it was so different from the flower fields theme. at first i had actually expected to go up to the clouds earlier, maybe like midway through the chapter. i thought that would be the "dungeon" of this part, so i was a little bit let down when i realized that the fields were the majority. however, the bit of the clouds we do see is SO good i LOVE the atmosphere!! huff n puff was actually relatively easy, using parakarry and lakilester for their all-around attacks. the guitars were a nice touch for his theme as well!

chapter 7 - oh dude i LOVED this chapter. i didnt know what i was expecting when i first went into the pipe in the sewers, whether it would put me into a village immediately or if i would have to make it through some screens before. needless to say, i was relieved when it popped me out into shiver city. the whole place felt "warm" which was really nice!! i was comparing it to ttyd's chapter 7 and fahr outpost which i didn't really vibe with, so it was a nice change! the whole murder plot was also unexpected but i enjoyed the whole "whodunnit" mystery! omg as im typing this i realize just how many aspects of this chapter i love this is gonna be long,, the entire snowy atmosphere is just so PRETTY and starborn valley felt so solitary to the rest of the land, like its own little bubble. i also had no idea that ninjis were in this game so when i saw one at merlon's i was like HUH?? anyways the way up the mountain to the crystal palace kept me on my toes; i thought that was the dungeon at first! the small bit where you see madam merlar and she tells you the story of the palace really got to me i have no idea why. the music and mysticality of it all was just SO good. dont even get me started on the crystal palace itself HOLY MOLY. the whole reflection bit was SO SO clever and the moment you realize its NOt actually a mirror?? fucking magnificent. this has to be my favourite dungeon in the whole game because it has such a NEAT gimmick!! it also has my favourite mario enemies, duplighosts! FUCK the crystal king though. he stunlocked me with his freezing move because i could not get the hang of blocking it. my partners really carried me for that battle; thank god for quick change

chapter 8 - THIS CHAPTER DELIVERED. the buildup for the entire game leading to this point. OUTSTANDING. i had to sit back and admire star haven because its so pretty- did i mention i love the water graphics in this game?? it has a pixelly look but it works SO WELL. going to the ship to take you to bowser's castle really felt like a "this is it" moment. the entirety of bowser's castle was So Good, it kept me on my toes the entire time!! slowly advancing as the music got more intense REALLY pumped me up. tracks that start off with only a couple instruments and eventually add more as you progress is one way to make me go BONKERS. the one bit where you make your way outside on the bridge and the music dials down and then you re-enter on the other side to it SLAMMING you in the face- that was Great. and then the complete silence as you get outside peach's castle HOLY SHIT. and then you actually enter the palace and the music is SO EERIE and youre like OH SHIT THIS IS REALLY IT. seriously, the buildup for this entire castle is done SO magnificently. i hadn't expected to fight bowser twice, i guess it was the game's way of letting u level up One Last Time before u got to the big bad. that being said, i wasn't too worried on getting a game over since i was fucking stacked on items. but that's besides the point- the fight itself got my heart POUNDING. the effects for the star rod and the star's powers were really nice to see in action, and the little section with peach and twink was so cool! i was expecting a little interlude where you would get your stats maxed out because thats how its like in every pm game, but it was still moving :)) bowser's final battle theme fucking SLAPS. the guitar especially sounds AMAZING. you really see him as a threat here and its so badass. his healing move fucked me over multiple times- i probably ended up having to deal with double his base HP over the course of the fight.

after the fight was over and you got to see peach's castle float down with the soft music in the background, it really hit me that its done, its over. again, the effects in this game are so pretty and theyre utilized SO well for the n64. visiting toad town one last time with all the npcs was a really nice touch- for some reason i really loved being able to interact with vanna t. (chuck quizmo's toad assistant) she's ADORABLE and i will probably end up drawing her sometime :)) the credits were also something that i really enjoyed- i LOVE the ongoing theme of parades at the end. seeing everything and everyone in the game condensed into a short 8 minutes really got me, i cant remember but im pretty sure i was smiling the whole time! and a small sidenote- TOADS WITH GLOWING SPOTS ON THEIR HEAD HELLO?????? I WANNA DRAW THAT SO BAD.

the ending screen with peach and mario looking at the fireworks made me really soft and i teared up a little because i was finally finished. the addition of pop diva's solo in the track was also so touching, it was my favourite sidequest in the game so hearing it again brought up Emotions :')

one thing i wasnt sure of was if there was a post-game mode and my completionist heart was disappointed a little when i found out i couldn't advance from the end screen and was forced to reset. although not many games from this era had post-game content so i cant dock too many points for that.

the paper mario series has a fond place in my heart, and finally being able to play the game that started it all really was a special experience. it really cemented my love for the original formula and i could see many places where ttyd took inspiration from. this game really is fun, and i would highly recommend playing it yourself if you have the means!

#i just finished typing this out #i did not mean for it to get this long omg #i just have Many Thoughts #and you guys get to deal with them #i just checked and this is nearly 2K WORDS HELLO??????#paper mario #paper mario 64 #dreamy convos

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marai-posts · 3 years

Note

Do you have survivor predictions? Who? How many?

You wanna know? You wanna hear my ramblings driven by psychology, character studies and paying WAY too much attention to game decisions made by the devs?

Well since you asked >:3

Alright let's get into my character survival predictions for the remaining Ultimates!!

Also I know this is the last Dangan game for a while so I'm actually assuming there will be less survivors then usual ( plus the rules suggests as much ) so a lot of these 'predictions' are me just understanding that most of these people are gonna be killed.

But let's start the theories, shall we?

Obviously Shuichi lives, so he takes up a slot.

I'll begin with Kokichi and Miu since they're my faves. I'll be blunt here:

These two are gonna die.

Miu for sure, I can't imagine a final trial with Miu popping off at the mouth every five seconds so she's def gonna kick the bucket

RIP Miu Iruma 100% gonna die sorry you are a hot mess and I love you but you gotta go

Kokichi is the 'rival' character so he has a coin flip chance whether he'll live or die. They 'killed' ( ? ) Nagito but they left Byakuya alive so idk if they'll spare Kokichi but they probably won't cause they like to hurt me

So Kokichi has a 60% chance he'll die but he better die for a reason or I'm gonna be pissed

Next, Korekiyo,,, okay look. I love him, I love his design and I wish he would survive but you know what? He's not gonna.

Everyone knows he's gonna kill someone. Even the game looked at this dude and was like oh yeah he'll kill someone. I'm sure it'll be heart tugging and the execution will be beautiful but I'm just saying if he becomes the focus during any point in the next chapters during that class trial I'm gonna have him pegged as the killer sorry

So yeah 100% gonna be executed

Keebo...is too cute. I want him to live so bad. But he's really sweet so he probs won't??

Like, I'd enjoy him being a survivor and there's a small chance and stuff, but tbh I'm not gonna get my hopes up cause I actually like him a whole lot and if I let myself believe he'll survive it's gonna hurt more if he doesn't

I'm leaving him 50/50 for the sake of hope

Let's do Kaito too, cause I'm pretty fond of this man right now. So it's clear Kaito is not gonna be a survivor for one reason. Him and Shuichi are really close. Like, really close. So close you have to wonder if they're setting up a more impactful death...

My guy deserves better but 98% gonna die

Next is...

Gonta. Gonta Gonta Gonta.

On one hand it's hard to imagine anyone killing him, and I'd be really surprised if he kills someone else, but I also can't imagine him as a survivor? So for this one I really dont know. We all thought Mechamaru couldn't be killed but he got murked so

70% chance he'll die, but I hope I'm wrong

Okay these next two are important:

Tenko is gonna die. She def deserves better but I'm gonna be straight up; she'll die.

I actually wanna talk about this first because it leads into my Himiko prediction.

So she's being built around her love of Himiko and while the kid doesn't even appreciate her right now, if they get closer I imagine she'll be used for development. Tenko is kinda being disrespected by the game and I'd love for her to grow outside of Himiko, but,,

100% killed for Himiko development

On that note, Himiko. I'm gonna be honest, right now I don't like her very much. I'm sure she'll grow on me but at this point in the story she's lowkey rude to Tenko and it bothers me. But that being said, every single game there's a character I think absolutely nothing of and they end up surviving. I usually like them by the end of the game but still. It never fails. I thought nothing of Hagakure the entire 1st game and guess what? He lived. I didn't care for Kazuichi all that much (even thought I love him now) and he also lived. My gut is usually right so I'm gonna throw my neck out there and say she's a survivor babey!! Even though there's definitely better characters that they could keep alive but I probably just need to see where she goes as a person. Rn she's just,, irritating :/ but they're setting her up for some heavy character development so idk

Or I could be totally wrong?

Either way Himiko 95% sure she's a survivor

The other 5% is because she could become an easy target if Tenko/Angie dies in an impactful enough way to make her lose her spirit and just mope around waiting to be murdered tbh she's short maybe Gonta accidentally steps on her or smthn

ANYWAY

Moving on to Angie! I have no idea! :D

She's cute and funny and has a lot of energy but if they keep Himiko alive then she'll probably end up sleeping with Atua.

Sorry Angie depending on where Himiko goes you're either a survivor or a victim. So I'll also place her 50/50 with Keebo

Okay next is Maki, and I'm also gonna say she has Great Potential to survive.

She's Special, and the game likes her so I wouldn't be surprised. I could see her in a final trial setting, plus she reminds me of Toko in the sense that everyone expects her to kill but she won't bother, and no one could kill HER so she just ends up surviving the whole game because she just does her own fuckass thing until the games over lmao

She definitely is Important and I'm pretty sure she's gonna play a part in the final trial. Plus I like her so: 100% she's a survivor.

Okay.............

Alright......

Listen...

I saved Tsumugi for last because ever since I MET her I've been side eyeing the fuck out of her and since then I've been keeping a really REALLY close eye on her....and I'm about to drop either a TOTAL crackhead theory or I ruined the last trials reveal for myself AGAIN WHY DO I DO THIS

And NO ONE is to confirm this in any way okay, I don't wanna know if I'm right yet

But that being said;;;

Tsumugi is the Mastermind.

HEAR ME OUT

Every single character we've met so far actually had a solid act, I understood each of their roles in Danganronpa's favorite trope game but Tsumugi...is just weird.

She has no presence, and only talks to say something odd, and she's immediately glossed over at all times. I've looked over the characters trying to imagine each of them as the Mastermind and she's the only one who like,, feels like there's way more too her then just 'strange' and I've called the mastermind Every Single Game so I'm pretty sure,, I just fucked myself over,, my bad guys,,

Anyway putting her aside, the final results:

100% Survivors: Shuichi and Maki

Possible Survivors: Himiko or Angie

I want them to live so bad but they probably won't and I'm crying: Kokichi and Keebo

I'm sad about it but they're still gonna die: Miu, Korekiyo, Kaito, Gonta and Tenko

Sus: TSUMUGI

Alright now that I've revealed my thoughts on this I'd appreciate if everyone complied and didnt confirm anything I've said

These are just my personal thoughts and whether I'm right on the money or completely and utterly incorrect, I'd like to keep as much of it as a surprise as I can keep from my gremlin prediction brain so,,

Thanks for your understanding!

#danganronpa #danganronpa spoilers #danganronpa v3

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zachsgamejournal · 3 years

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PLAYING: Thief Gold

Alright, making progress. I hate the Tomb Raider levels. They're not bad, I just want to rob houses, not wander confusing caverns and dodge fireball monsters. I'm sad I haven't experimented with the tools more, they've proven useful and could have saved some heart ache before.

The Haunted Cathedral is exactly the kinda of level I'm not wanting to play in Thief. It was like Down in the Boneyard...kinda. It was confusing and maze like. Plus there's zombies. You can't knock out zombies. While the level is interesting, and a good design for a game about exploring ruins--that's not what I want to do.

Much of the game has reminded me of GoldenEye 64. Mostly that each mission has multiple objectives and those objectives change based on the difficulty. Actually, the that fact has made me feel like playing on normal is causing me to "miss" things about the game. BUT, the levels are so long at the moment, I may save Expert difficulty for when I inevitably play this again. Anyway, GoldenEye similarities. The Haunted Cathedral felt alot like Statue Park. It's filled with rubble and non-sense. I kinda hate that level in GoldenEye, just as I didn't like this one.

Weird stuff in Haunted Cathedral. There was a lobster man with pincher hands. He was down in the sewers. So I stayed out of the sewers. There's also ghost mages, or something. They whisper weird sounds, and it's freaky as hell. I got a little confused about what to do at the end...so I looked up a guide. The level had taken me awhile...

Mage Towers were a bit easier. At least, getting around. While it's a large level of four towers and middle strongholde, it's not that confusing. Plenty of places to hide, and the guards didn't mind walking through the dark all that much. BUT, I got a little confused about how to proceed. Apparently the water tower was unlocked, but the only clue I saw to that was in a note found in a locked tower, accessible only post water tower. Hmm...

Once in the towers, it was pretty easy to figure things out. Some interesting platforming elements. Supports my feelings that platforming always makes games better. I wasn't sure how to escape through the sewers. Apparently I forgot to check the guards for keys.

Learned some new things: Jumping is faster than walking/running. And every sequential jump in the same direction boosts speed. Clearly a bug, but a useful bug. I learned the parchments I've been picking up are actually letters and notes that can be read. Wonder how much I've missed? And I also learned that when I get an object from a chest or box, the game doesn't show me what I get--including key items. All this caused some confusion.

I gotta say it. I wish this was open world. It would work much better if it was open world. ;p

Next mission, The Lost City, once again doing exactly what I don't want. Exploring confusing environments with a near worthless map. The above ground city area was kind of nice. It's interesting to let you start there, emphasizing that this forgotten city is right under a populated urban center.

There's actually some interesting platforming, but it's confusing with multiple paths leading to the same places...but different parts of the same places. To my surprise, I was able to find the Talisman. it did REQUIRE a rope arrow. By the way, rope arrows are cool. But because the level is so freaking confusing, I spent an hour going in circles trying to get out. I had to watch a playthrough so I'd know where to go. This is why good maps are important.

Then came the Song of the Caverns. Immediately I was immediately depressed. But the map was actually quite linear. Could..could they actually be taking it easy on me? I ran into more Pincher-Lobster men, but they can be knocked out via Black Jack! It took no time at all to find then Talisman's hiding place.

But it was gone...

It wasn't a hard level, but it took forever to explore, and the upper levels were filled with guards and loud floors. I hadn't even explored the while level and lost interest. I tried reading a guide, but it also was confusing.

They weren't taking it easy on me, they were tricking me. Jerks. Wandering through the cave I find a crazy dude. He was saying non-sense so I knocked him out and climbed out the caverns. Now I'm on the streets and I have to break into a theater. Interesting concept--but jeezus, this place is huge! And semetrical. It took forever to explore, plus there were tons of guards, like waaay too many guards, like...it's a theater where people watch people pretend to be other people, why are there so many swords??

I decided to just run around randomly, seeing what I could see. I found locked double doors, guarding by two doors. I was also being chased by 8 guards at the time, so they killed me quickly. But I decided this is where I needed to be.

I quickly made it back to the double doors, but getting the guards to move away so I could knock em out took forever. These guards really didnt want to leave their post, and they seem extra sensitive to my presence. For the first time, I decided to use flash bombs. After a few failed attempts (often blinding myself) I figured out how to best utilize the flash bombs and get in. I really regret not using the tools at my disposal more.

So I found the thing, but I couldn't remember how to get out. I found myself in a whole new area. WHY IS THIS PLACE AO BIG! I fell out a second story window and lost 65% of my health. Ah well that was enough. I completed the level.

#Zach's Game Journal #ZGJ #PLAYING #Thief Gold #PC #Stealth #No Kills

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desolationlovers · 3 years

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oh yall thought i was done x posting? lol. kamui character rant under the cut

the thing about kamui is i dont know that hes a very deep character??atleast not how clamp has written him and esp not in the manga.

he spends a lot of the manga being confused and often manipulated. and hes really just a kid.

his first big character arc is debastardization basically. when hes introduced hes a TOTAL asshole (the anime added scenes to make him more of a dick at the start but also has a bit of an explaination? ill get to it). hes shown as very rude to everyone around him, yelling at people to get out of his way or get lost, including his previous friends. hes also shown to have absolutely no care for his surrondings and regularly fights and uses his powers in places where bystanders could be injured and leaving roads bridges or nearby buildings in ruins. when confronted about the latter by hinotos knight (his name is saiki) he straight up says he doesnt care if anyone gets hurt. which i mean ok nothing wrong with a character being an asshole. the extreme in your face way kotori and fuuma describe kamui as a kid being very shy and Very quiet and gentle makes this characterization confusing but hey people can change i guess. the confusing part is that as kamui slowly beings to let his guard down he says that the big reason he was so standoffish especially wrt kotori and fuuma was because he wanted to keep them at a distance so they wouldnt get involved with all the end of the world stuff. which makes sense obviously! kamui was absolutely aware of how dangerous it might get. his entire plan was to get the shinken (the sacred sword) and bail because he didnt want any part of any of it. what i dont get is why he was totally cool with bystanders being injured or killed. during his fight with saiki they were in a neighborhood! on people roofs and shit!! saiki is the one to lead them to an abandoned construction site so no one gets caught in the crossfire. and kamui almost kills saiki!!! which i will let slide a bit because kamui was being followed and had been attacked by spells literally that morning. but later on he apologizes to saiki but never explained his reasoning why he didnt care about destroying peoples houses??? and its never brought up again?????? also theres a scene added to the anime where he kicks the shit out of kotori and fuumas dad??? because he wouldnt give kamui the sword?? bro thats ur best friends dad you jackass!!!!!

in the anime they added flashbacks for the time after he moved away from tokyo which i think make his whole character make much more sense. when he first moves and goes to a new school he accidentally uses his powers and makes everyone afraid of him. fast forward past elementary school to high? school? its unclear. at school hes a lazy slacker that never goes to class and never talks to anyone, big ol loner. he sees that a local gang has been stealing kids money and beating them up. so he decides to put on a tough guy persona and confront the gang telling them to knock it off and scaring them shitless with some fun ass kicking psychokenesis. now i am SO on board with this addition. kamui being ostrisized for being weird and scary when hes already a super shy kid, so he embraces this scary intimidating image and tries using it for good because hes still ultimately kind hearted. he gets too absorbed in this tough guy persona that he loses touch with the original purpose of it and just uses it as a shield because he himself is afraid and confused. and maybe even hiding behind it because hes so afraid of having this huge destiny that he doesnt know if he can live up to and how can someone who decides the fate of the world be just some quiet oversensitive guy.

except all of that is my own speculation and analysis because they really do not go into ANY detail about this. i wouldnt say its to the point where it feels like they just flipped a switch and hes nice now but it def feels like that. and it annoys me because after he kind of apologizes for being a dick it doesnt really get brought up again?? i think he broods over it once or twice. but i would have really liked to see flashes of it coming back in high stress situations or something? he has a lot of points of grief and depression but its always meloncholic rather than angry and it really makes him feel like two different characters i wish it was way more of a mix.

anger would also be good with the whole overarching theme of trying to break out of the path destined for you. its constantly said that theres only one future by the dreamgazers although hinoto wants to change it. its supposed destined that kamui will lose and earth will be destroyed. anger but more importantly PASSION is whats needed break out of what has been preordained and to carve your own path. passion is also whats needed for the main part of the second half of kamuis character arc, figuring out what it is he REALLY wants. what his true wish is.

i also think anger could have been a good inverse to the deliberate mirroring of kamuis character and subarus character. subaru really represents despair and being completely swallowed by grief. his story is that the man he fell in love with (named seishiro) was just manipulating him for fun and is actually an emotionless assassian. subaru is so destroyed by this realization he goes into a depression and because of this is unable to save his sister being killed by seishiro. his goal is literally to be enough of a nusance to seishiro that hell kill him. literally he wants to be acknowledged as important enough to bother killing. its pointed out often how subaru and kamui are so similar, with how fuuma killed kotori, and how theyre both kindhearted ro a fault. its an intentional reflection. subaru even pulls kamui out of a similar depressive state after kotori dies. he and kamui have a whole heart to heart about how some peoples happiness can look pitiful to others and how hes going to fufill his goals even when other people are worried for him. and most importantly about how not everyone can be happy with an outcome. i think it would have been really good for subaru to represent someone overcome with depression about how awful the world is and paralyzed with that sadness and kamui would be the rightous anger and compassion needed to actually change the world. “lets this radicalize you rather than lead you to despair” you know? it would have been a really good parallel considering part of x’s themes are literally about having compassion for humanity. but that reading possibly shoots itself in the foot because the language used wrt the two possible futures are things to stay as they are or for a “revolution” to occur, meaning killing everyone to let the earth heal. so ideas of change are insinuated to be connected with the seven angels and genocide. which uh. not going to get into that.

i do like when he starts going to the clamp school he goes back to being shy and quiet and kind of gets pushed around by people with more force of personality. very fun uncomfortably relatable. its ok man im extremely passive too.

anyway final thoughts kamui needs more passion. clamp give me the rights. also let subaru and kamui hang out and have a brotherly bond. no creepy shit. just subaru being an akward older brother that knows what kamuis going thru and gives bad advice bc he has god awful coping mechanisms.

side note we arent ever told about his likes/dislikes hobby or anything of that nature. the blankest of slates. so my city now. i think hes into obscure indie music and has thousands of hours in various life sim games like animal crossing and stardew valley.

#lees posts #forgot to post this last night #clamp posting

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

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hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS.

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought)

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi)

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father

gon is so precious ;_;

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite.

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :(

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow.

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN?????????

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family

PREDICTION CORNER:

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla

#lj watches hxh #hxh #woohoo continuation

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blookmallow · 4 years

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and finally, the conclusion of the dark brotherhood questline

i have been through so much and lost so much but i gained the one thing that matters most of all..... cicero’s heart

-----

well

these aren’t the real emperor’s clothes but i have this still,

i put it on the dawnstar sanctuary mannequin with the jester hat lmao

:( my favorite guard friend who hangs out around the shops in the mornings with me is onto me

hes not hostile or reporting me to the jarl or anything at least tho

Dont woRRY About It

i did have guards after me for a while (i had. several just go ‘ok ill let you off this time :)’ bc. i. asked nicely. after attempting to assassinate the emperor of skyrim) but eventually just paid my bounty and they were like ok you’re good and now apparently everyone has completely forgotten That Time I Tried To Murder The Fucking Emperor

anyway after the fucking massacre that happened at the sanctuary i was absolutely Out For Blood

i mean like....... i realize maro is completely justified here. we are in fact a league of assassins guilty of murdering A Lot of people, we very much did make a real attempt on the emperor’s life (and killed his double, who was less important but still like, an innocent guy, presumably)(or even if it was like that death note thing where its actually a criminal on death row anyway, like, we clearly didnt know that) and i did personally murder maro’s son and ruin his reputation, so. like. we are the bad guys in this situation no matter how you look at it lmao but STILL THOSE WERE MY FRIENDS, FUCKER

so i decided to murder him out of pure spite, but. uh

I DONT REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO CAUSE THIS BUT I ACTUALLY GOT THE SOLITUDE GUARDS TO MURDER HIM FOR ME LMAO I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

im trying to remember what the fuck even happened here im clearly. underwater, i think maybe i like. confronted him and he got hostile but i jumped off the pier and the guards were like “woah that guy’s losing it” and intervened but he fought them too or something ??? ?? I DONT KNOW BUT THE GUARDS KILLED HIM FOR ME :’) thanks guys

then after everything we still kept the contract, and... the new plan.... was for me to sneak onto the emperor’s ship before he leaves skyrim and kill him there.... WHICH I COULD HAVE FUCKING. DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. THIS IS SO MUCH EASIER THAN... KILLING SOME OFFICIAL’S SON AND PLANTING FALSE EVIDENCE AND TRACKING DOWN THE GOURMET AND MURDERING HIM AND IMPERSONATING HIM TO TRY TO POISON THE EMPEROR AND IMPLICATING A RANDOM CHEF WHO HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AND

EVERYONE IS DEAD!!!!! WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS. WAS ASTRID GETTING ME ALL MIXED UP IN THIS WILD GOOSE CHASE ON PURPOSE FROM THE BEGINNING ?? ? ? SORRY!!! IM ANGRY

i got all the way here without anyone even seeing me (i used a couple invisibility potions for the really tricky spots, but still) i could absolutely have just done this and avoided the entire everything. god

anyway i again dont really understand the politics of skyrim but. the real emperor was expecting me to find him one way or another. he had already accepted his death and made peace with it. it was. actually kind of sad. i dont know enough to say whether he was actually a decent guy or not but he seemed like he was. i couldnt bring myself to steal his clothes so i still just have the duplicate emperor’s clothes but it looks the same anyway

i took a war axe from one of his displays though. i dont remember if i already mentioned my ongoing tradition of always taking something from my victims and enchanting them later to mark who it belonged to, but thats a thing ive been doing. little murder scrapbook

im not really sure how murdering the emperor counts as “serving the empire” but sure ok

i also killed this guy lmao the emperor’s last wish was for me to kill whoever it was that betrayed him and i dont like this dude in the first place so i was like yea you got it

i built a memorial with the weapons rack in my room in the dawnstar sanctuary

enchanted special weapons for each of our fallen members (left to right it’s astrid, arnbjorn, festus, gabriella, and veezara) (i also later added another dagger for lis bc i had one space left)

theres also gemstones on the floor beneath each weapon but they keep sliding out of place :’ |

ANGEL DARLING SONG OF MY HEART LIGHT OF MY LIFE YOU’RE ALIVE

you can see the game autosaving in the corner bc i had Just come out of the sanctuary lmao thats how lightning fast i reacted to this

[sobbing] baby boy.... baby.... i was SO WORRIED

i murdered the fucking emperor of skyrim bc i was so desperate to continue this questline to see if cicero would come back I DID ALL OF THIS FOR YOU.....

(he pranked me and pretended he was gonna kill me at first. i almost lost it thinking he STILL wouldnt forgive me but it was ok :’) u got me, )

sniffs...... best friends forever........ this is the best possible outcome this is all ive ever wanted it was all worth it for this

we got our window back!!!!! also ft cicero subtitle photobombing me with his boundless enthusiasm for murder but i forgive him

oof we also have... a bunch of torture victims hanging around now too :’ ) oh

i kinda feel bad about them but there doesnt seem to be an option to let them go,

i mean i could just kill them all i guess. i killed one guy to see if i could. you Can. his body is still there. nobody seemed to care that i killed him

I TURNED AROUND AFTER NAZIR SAID THAT AND CICERO’S JUST. LOOKING AT ME LIKE THIS,

i fuckign love this cute little shit. what the fuck. this is such justice too everyone was so rude to him, everyone made fun of him and talked down to him, everyone wanted him dead after he went after astrid, but she sold us out and got everyone killed, he was RIGHT, and now hes the right-hand-man to the Listener who is now ALSO the leader of the brotherhood. he’s basically second in command to the entire organization now and nobody can do a goddamn thing about it bc they all KNOW not to fuck with me now

i also realized hes taller than me and i dont like it, :’)

im still deciding medea’s taller than him anyway i dont care. she would be taller than the character model is allowing for

he likes to randomly start singing/humming really off key/dancing around its SO cute.... im lov him...............

darling..... calm down, :’)

hes so completely devoted to me now im in pain

i realized i could tell him to go to sleep and he actually did it the absolute madman

he gets up if you try to sleep beside him though

i mean. not that i tried that or anything

he stands SO close to me all the time.... i turn around and hes right there beaming adoringly at me. i cant do this

he kept saying mother needed some flowers so i took him out to collect some nightshade for her n dropped them around her feet

“whats the point of thievery lol like..... just kill them?????? stupid”

having cicero constantly two feet behind me jus making cute comments and/or half singing The Weirdest Shit I Have Ever Heard is absolutely delightful

ur so cute when you’re threatening people

he also hates the forsworn see we’re in sync

I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE AGAIN

me, the leader of the brotherhood, in full brotherhood armor, with cicero following right behind me giggling to himself about murder:

#lucy plays skyrim

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b0rderline-brat · 4 years

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I’ve had tumblr for years, on and off, my depressive stages, my fandom stages and now.

The reason I have got Tumblr again is because I cannot cope with the outside world right now I am going through the hardest time of my life and no one cares. I have lost my job,my boyfriend,my closest friend and I am 8 weeks pregnant. Since the start of the year I have tried my hardest to get a diagnosis for what has always been suspected emotional unstable personality disorder.

Mental Health

For years I have always knew there was something wrong with me, my father has multiple mental illnesses, it was only fair for me to follow on that tradition right? I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression years ago, but I’m sure they just put everything down to that. “Here,have some tablets and you’ll be okay in a month or so, just let us know if you feel worse” depression and anxiety isn’t the reason I tried to run over my boyfriends. Depression isn’t sitting on top of the car screaming because you told me no. Personality disorder makes more sense. When I started working where I did, I became close with somebody (who later ruined my life, carry on reading this. Let’s call her Mrs Dick for now) she has eupd, which is emotionally unstable personality disorder, and I related to her so much, I researched and discovered this really is me. This is the answers for me, I’m not just “physco” there’s a reason I’m like this. Mrs dick got me the help, she came with me to doctors appointments, she cried because she wanted me better, I became so so close to her, she really helped me. Eventually I got an appointment with a physciatrist, who turned out to just be an assessor and told me yes I do have traits of eupd, but there was no point diagnosing me because of the label. I pushed for the diagnosis and she referred me to an actual physciatrist. Thanks to Covid-19 all my appointments got cancelled. It got too much one day, I took an overdose, it kinda pushed them to get me in quicker though, pretty shit way to think though hey. Unless you’re lying on a hospital bed with wires in you they don’t care. I did get my telephone appointment yesterday, she wanted to ring me back after speaking to her team, she rang me back and told me I do infact have EUPD traits but wouldn’t be fair to diagnose me after one appointment, so she wants to transfer me to the physcologially team and then they may... or may not be able to diagnose me and say “yes this is what you have” but they don’t want to stick that label on me apparently. I don’t care about a label, I care about my well being, I need that official diagnosis to really understand myself and it’s not all just in my head. I now have up to an 18 week wait, who even knows where I’ll be in 18 weeks.

Work

The person that are used to vent to and was helping me with my mental health has completely fucked me over, I’m talking about mrs dick. She reported something to higher management and if I didn’t hand in my notice, then I would’ve been fired anyway.. or so my ex says. He basically forced me to hand it in. It wasn’t my fault but I need to protect my future now and my baby. Mrs dick was my closest friend at work, I told her everything, it was more than a work friendship, we were friends out of work, I loved her like a mother and she has completely broken me. I guess I’ll never have the answers and closure I need which makes my mental health worse, I also lost my huge support network. She even tried to say that she never reported before because her of her mum dying, although she knew about 3 months before her mum died, I really wish I could list all the stuff I did for her and you would understand why I’m so heartbroken. My job was my whole life, I was so in love with it. Yeah it was the worst company I have ever worked for, but the job I loved every day of it. I have made friends for life and each one of them was like my own family. I don’t think I will truly find another job the same way I loved that one. No matter what my ex opinion is. I’m financially stable but money won’t buy happiness.

Relationships

My relationship is not the best it’s not even a relationship my boyfriend thinks we have not been together for the past three months but he got me pregnant two months ago so you could work out the maths. Hewas using me because apparently I asked for it and “no man would say no” He’s on Tinder,he speaks to other people and I’m still chasing him because I have nobody else. He will act like a couple with me but even though we are physically and emotionally together, verbally speaking we are not. Last night he told me straight up he does not want to be with me, we said a few horrible things to each other and he left so here’s me alone. Apparently we still remain friends but friends don’t sleep together or have a baby together do they? I came home and my mom and dad wasn’t her, I rang them and asked where they were and they’re sleeping down their caravan for the night so I asked my ex boyfriend if hecould come and stay with me as a friend because I was in a really bad place mentally and having a meltdown. The excuse was he’s already ready for bed and if he comes to mine it will be an extra 20 minutes that he has to add onto his journey to work today. I replied to this saying just to let you know I’m in a really bad place and of course he never replied. I messaged this morning because he still didn’t reply to my message saying thank you for ignoring me and he put I didn’t see your message last night. Let me tell you now, he’s chatting shit. What I don’t realise is all the mind games he plays but denies doing it, but I’m too stupid to move on and find somebody else that actually wants me because I think I’m worthless, I’m fat and put all of my weight back on, im also pregnant so now who’s going to want me?

Let’s talk about pregnancy

A few weeks ago I was a few days late on my period and I took a test and it came back positive, a very strong positive, I took this test at work and confided in Mrs Dick. She comforted me, made it a little better and then I contacted my boyfriend = the dad. He told me he doesn’t want children and would prefer me to abort. I didnt know what to do, I was scared because obviously it wasn’t planned. He tried to tell me that he thought I was on something even though I had the implant taken out last year due to my mental health to save our relationship and me going psychotic on him, so I thought it be best for us. He refused to wear condoms and then told me his sperm didn’t work, he kept repeatedly saying that he doesn’t want children and he probably won’t come to the scans or see the baby. He completely broke my heart that day. The next day on the Saturday I decided I was going to keep baby and I was going to be a single parent by myself and start a new life with my baby. I told family and close friends what had happened and I told them what my boyfriend was saying and the horrible stuff that he was saying to me, so I had support for when I was by myself. I need that support physically and emotionally. On the Sunday me and baby dad went out for the day, he told me he only said that stuff because he wanted me to abort the child but later changed the story and said obviously he would be there for the child but we are not together he then moaned at me for slagging him off at to friends and family about what he was saying because even though he said it apparently “I shouldn’t of told anybody”over the next few weeks he carried on sleeping with me and seeing me but still reminding me he is not my boyfriend but will continue to tell me he loves me but still would not admit that we were technically together. So fast forward a few weeks I’m 8 weeks gone, with no job, nobody is going to employ me because of being pregnant and me and the baby dad don’t even have a stable friendship let alone relationship.

So here I am on Tumblr making my own blog whilst unemployed,pregnant and mentally fucked because I can’t handle my own emotions and feelings

Welcome to the shit show x

#personality disorder #emotionally unstable personality disorder #mentally ill

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letstalksymphogear · 5 years

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Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #recap #anime

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tumblunni · 5 years

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Okay seriously but dr maddiman's story is SO SAD

His wife literally left him on april fools day!!! And he sat there waiting at the door and crying until midnight just in case it was a joke and she came back

AND THEN HE DIED

And we dont even know WHEN he died! His journals just slowly peter off into nothing after the depressing divorce day. Just "i need to work i need to work" and talking about how he doesnt take care of himself now he has nobody to live for and how he doesnt even remember why he's working anynore but he's scared if he stops working he'll remember that his family left him. And he doesnt know how to cook and he just makes shitty gruel out of whatever was left in the fridge after his wife left and he doesnt ever buy any more groceries and uhh.. Well.. At some point he died. He basically committed suicide by sheer denial. The goddamn diary about being unable to cook trails off into just repeating "tasty gruel" over and over in increasingly gnarled handwriting. And in japanese the word for gruel was a pun on another rather infamous depressing scienceman's last journal in resident evil. So while the dub wrote it out in full sentences instead the original was kinda like... Incoherant rambling of a guy who died mid sentence. Thats what the reference would immediately communicate to anyobe who'd played RE...

And man its just SO SAD cos even before he basically killed himself with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he ruined his own life with the same problem. He became distant from his wife and child because he loved them so much but he didnt know how to communicate it and he just ran away from all of his problems. He buried himself in his work to avoid facing the fact he was having relationship issues with his wife, which obviously just made it worse. And his whole work in the first place was from a stupid idea that he could "keep everyone i love safe if i take over the world". Like the idea of actually telling them he loved them and talking about his worries was SO IMPOSSIBLE that he jumped to an even more impossible solution as something easier! And then its so depressing cos oh man these diaries are like a constant stream of jokes about how this man is destroying himself from overwork and like seriously it was so bad that they had to censor a few of them in the dub. For example one about how he hadnt changed out of his lab coat in over two weeks so his wife mistook his laundry for nuclear waste and tried to friggin dispose of his boxers with a long stick and a flamethrower! Which the dub somehow thought was too gross even tho half of all yokai are just gross jokes lol. BUT SERIOUSLY They try and write it all comical at first but all this comical stuff causes realistic consequences of a rift between him and his family AND ALSO his health failing with every damn page you turn like holy fuckin shit. You cant blame his wife for leaving him, she didnt know he really did love her and was just running away from talking about his problems. God she must have suffered so much trying to raise the kid alone and not knowing WHY he seemed to leave her entirely and hate her more and more each day. And its implied that maddiman's research started getting all fanatical and supernatural even before he became a monster, and he wasnt even seeing regular patients at the hospital and like.. Doing his job... Receiving money of any sort. So man at some point yeah the poor lady would have to make the right choice to leave for the sake of their kid. It sounds like she tried so damn hard to get him to open up and just goddamn come home!!!

AND THE WORST PART IS THAT IT WORKED

Yknow not just in the literal sense where his shambling undead self is STILL SICK FROM HOW HE DIED and LITERALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE NOW

Oh god i just realized that maybe his inspiriting power is "heart swap" not because literally he's an evil scientist who wants to cut you up, but because HE WISHES HE COULD HAVE SHOWN HIS HEART TO HIS FAMILY WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!#!!!

and okay seriously THAT PART, THAT WORST OF WORST PARTS

Is that he did!!! He did try!! He did make the right choice!! He just kept running away for so long that when he decided to step up and be a good husband and father it was already too late. :(

He did decide to abandon his fanatical nonsense and just go home and show them he loves them. He closed up work early and bought a bunch of gifts for his family and came home hoping to surprise them and... Was surprised. At an empty house. And a note saying she'd already gone. On fuckin APRIL FOOLS DAY OF ALL DAMN DAYS so he SAT THERE SURROUNDED BY THE PRESENTS CRYING FOR HOURS HOPING IT WAS JUST A JOKE

And he just fell back even harder into his self harming conflict avoidance behaviours. He didnt try and call her and apologise, he didnt even go home ever again. He probably left the same bag of presents there on the table gathering dust even when he was dead. He just went back to work and kept working so hard that he didnt notice when he fell asleep and never woke up.

And thats why in the first game he seemed so much more evil but he was confirmed redeemable in future games and got all this heart destroying heartwarming bullshit beautiful goddamn writing AND ALSO THREE BABY TURTLES TO HUG. He just fuckin ran away from his problems so hard that he forgot he was ever human!! And he was stuck so much in this 'i must complete my ultimate science at any cost' mindset that he forgot why it was even important. And he was willing to make any damn sacrifices for something he didnt know was already useless cos HIS WIFE AND KID ARE PROBABLY DEAD NOW ANYWAY *sob*

Oh and then yokai watch 3 confirmed that yes at least his kid is indeed dead anyway. You can catch his yokai form too and HE BECAME A DOCTOR JUST LIKE HIS GODDAMN DAD!!!! They made up fpr not ever letting us have a playable maddiman by giving us a new yokai scienceman and HEY WHY NOT HAVE THE SADDEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THAT!!!! And in the quest that finaly confirms their connection HA HA WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST POSSIBLE TEASE WE COULD GIVE THE PLAYERS? Hey looks like Cliff inherited his dad's neuroses so instead of going to meet him he runs away from his problems. And thats just the end. The closest they get to reuniting is dr son guy leaving his dad a can of his favourite soda before he runs away. This was in the last set of dlc for the game and will probably never get a better conclusion unless the two of them return in a future game but the original anime series has ended now and the next game looks like its gonna be this alternate universe thing instead. Sigh!

FUCKIN HELL LEVEL-5 WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME WITH THIS GREAT PLOTLINE OF UTMOST SADS

Why is "sad science dad" always my fave character in everything ever and why is dr maddiman such the best

Im cry my heart out. Quite literally. LIKE POOR GODDAMN DR MADDIMANNNNNN

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tiniechankai · 5 years

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my favourite sailor moon season 1 episodes

since i’m rewatching the sailor moon series (again...) i thought i would rank all my favourite episodes from each season then compile them all together and see which episode is my absolute favourite of the entire show. considering i have no idea what my favourite episode is... maybe i’ll know now, hah.

Episode 8 - The Girl Genius Is a Monster: The Brainwashing Cram School of Horror

so uh... as a stressed student i can relate to this a lot. the kids going into the cram school is me going into school every morning. this is definitely not my favourite episode of the season but the introduction to ami is really sweet, especially when people whisper about ami behind her back but then when usagi actually meets her, ami ends up being the sweetest girl.

i also just love the fact that ami freaking owned everyone in that arcade on the sailor v game?? like wow feminism right there

Episode 10 - The Cursed Bus: Enter Mars, the Guardian of Fire

mars is my favourite inner senshi and she’s honestly so cool in this episode. this is probably the only episode in the entire series where she’s quite akin to her manga self, and while i love her in the anime, i think her aloof manga self is great too. it’s interesting to me to get a look into japanese culture through shinto. watching this as a kid i had no idea what was really japanese religion and such so learning about this was cool (i had like 4 sailor moon episodes and they were all the introductory episodes to the senshi). also the bus was really freaky and scary and just what the heck. rei’s reaction to jadeite is also quite funny (she basically has heart palpitations of him, and not the good kind)

Episode 17 - Usagi's a Model: The Flash of the Monster Camera

one of the few episodes that aren’t the finale that i can tell you that usagi kicks some legitimate ass in here. like what a badass! i can’t say i know the last time usagi has done this, hah. this entire episode includes everyone telling usagi she can’t be a model because she’s not a good enough person or she’s not pretty enough. i mean even mamoru is back being the asshole he is in this first season, even though he goes on about how she won’t be picked because she’s not pretty on the inside and what not (like wth dude you don’t even know her) but usagi is picked anyways (like everyone who signed up but... whatever) and then she is left alone to fight the youma and then she is to fight the monster by herself. she does so by cleverly using the mirrors. one of the saddest bits in the show is when he family is watching the tv while usagi is asleep in her room they talk about how they wish usagi was as great as the girl who saved the photographer’s life (sailor moon) but ?? do they not care about the factt that usagi was AT THAT PHOTOSHOOT?? GETTING ATTCKED?? i know they don’t know she’s sailor moon but heck she was there she might’ve been attacked. the tsukino household can be so annoying sometimes hfksdh i digress

Episode 20 - The Summer, the Beach, Youth and Ghosts

this is a genuinely hilarious episode. poor mitsuishi kotono, she spent most of the episode screaming at the ghosts lmao. i like this episode because we see the girls get up to their usual loud shenanigans (and hell i love me a beach episode). this is also a episode about a heavy topic of a girls’ father forcing herself into a duty she is too young to deal with. it gets pretty dark too and i can see why they didn’t put this into the dic dub (she literally starts CRYING and i get these sort of like... really bad rape vibes. I KNOW HE’S HER FATHER BUT IT’S SO GROSS). anyways, it’s really dark but has it’s funny moments as we focus on some other characters, it’s a really good beach ova.

Episode 21 - Protect the Children's Dreams: Friendship Through Anime

this episode is so great, i really do love it. it might might be my favourite in the season. i just love these two friends a lot, especially hiromi as a character (the shorthaired one). hiromi deals with being jealous over her friend’s sketches in animating and it gets so bad that nephrite has to come by with his stupid self and ruin everything. anyone with low self esteem such as hiromi can relate to constantly feeling like you’re in the shadow of your colleagues, your best friend. nephrite’s episodes tend to be my favourite because we see that our actions, when we are selfish and snobby that it affects others a lot. even though i despise nephrite his episodes have become a favourite of mine.

Episode 28 - The Painting of Love: Usagi and Mamoru Get Closer

one of the few episodes where mamoru isn’t a complete ass to usagi (i think?) and he’s actually kinda ... civil with her. he still treats her like a child but i mean she acts like one so... i like this episode a lot because you can really see the difference in usagi and mamoru with the help of this really cute artist lady yumemi. i also think it’s really funny how usagi even meets yumemi is because she’s going to call out mamoru for cheating on rei lmao. this episode is really nice just because it starts more heavily foreshadowing about mamoru and usagi’s backseat relationship.

Episode 31 - Love and Chased: Luna's Worst Day Ever

if you don’t like this episode then there’s GOT to be something wrong with you. this episode is pure crackhead goodness while we get a spoof of sailor moon’s own show with loveable luna and righteous rhett butler, luna’s love interest before we even knew artemis’ name. this episode is just pure gold and this might be my second favourite episode of the season, not gonna lie. when i saw the cat bone instead of tuxedo mask’s rose, i remember laughing so hard i couldn’t breathe. i love this show.

Episode 37 - Let's Become a Princess: Usagi's Bizarre Training

being princess hard. not my favourite episode for any particular reason other than it’s REALLY enjoyable to watch. i also just love how usagi sucks at literally everything i suck at and she is just so relateable in this episode. i also love how she’s not the only one who sucks at ballroom dancing, minako can’t dance and rei is too much of a dom to let the other guy lead. feminism!

Episode 38 - The Snow, the Mountains, Friendship and Monsters

this episode marks one of my favourites because it begins rei’s total understanding of usagi’s relationship with mamoru and this continues from this episode until SAILOR STARS (yes i know she was kinda understanding of usagi in episode 35 but she also slapped usagi so...) but this episode is full of clumsy usagi goodness and the great friendship of usagi and rei.

Episode 43 - Usagi Abandoned: The Falling-Out of the Sailor Guardians

i love these sorts of episodes, and just like the previous one, we get even MORE usarei friendship moments and i’m LIVING for it. even the senshi think mars actually hates usagi but noooppppe she’s actually her bestie. this is a great episode.

Episode 44 - Usagi's Awakening: A Message from the Distant Past

ok so i don’t really like mamoru and usagi BUT i like serenity and endymion. this backstory episode is GREAT and i wish i had a short show based around fun at the moon kingdom because that would be great? i love sailor moon don’t get me wrong but i don’t like mamoru and usagi. cough. this episode gives off a more ethereal quality and is sucha beautiful episode animation wise.

Episode 46 - Usagi's Eternal Wish: A Brand New Life

while the last episode was HEARTWRENCHINGLY SAD i can’t get over how sad this episode is. not even mentioning how awesome it is when the beginning of moonlight densetsu comes on when usagi pull out her moon wand. this episode rips me apart because while i dislike usagi and mamoru this dialogue just makes me so sad “Live a normal life. Find a cool boyfriend.” “Nobody’s cooler than you.” AND I CRIED. nobody’s cooler than you, the asshole who called me fat, stupid, and ugly for 30 episodes. but whatever, i’m still sad. and then usagi’s monologue at the ending (i’m not a big fan of kae araki as usagi but i still... love the monologue so much) and just wow. what a great ending.

this was more episodes then i expected

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pjo-hoo-nextgen · 6 years

Text

The First Quest X

Andy attempted to gain some knowledge as to why Maria and Jaxon were no longer on speaking terms, but not many people knew what had happened.

“I don’t get it,” Andy huffed, resting his chin on his hand. “They always fight but this is different.”

“Wrench,” Sol held out her hand expectantly and Andy placed the tool in her grip.

“If anything they’d have fixed it by now.” He paused in thought for a moment, tapping his fingers against his chin.

“Maybe they just need time apart.” Sol suggested making an unusual attempt at conversation.

“They hardly touch one another with an eight foot pole. They have plenty of time apart.” Andy laughed. Sol hummed in reply and settled her goggles back on her face. “I mean the bickering gets old but the silence is just...uncomfortable.”

“Some people have odd ways of doing things.” The motor Sol was working on gave a small attempt to start before fizzling out. “Crap. I swore I fixed it.”

“Try jiggling the knobby thing.” Andy pointed at a protrusion on the machine.

“That’s not what it’s called,” Andy noticed the small smile on her face and couldn’t help but sit up a bit taller. She took his advice anyways and sure enough the engine gave a mighty sputter before maintaining a low hum. “Yes! Finally!”

“Great! Now you can put it on the motorized dummy track for the training arena!” Andy hopped up from the stool he’d been sitting on.

“That’s the plan.” Sol nodded, moving to turn off the device. With a satisfied nod she tugged off her goggles and gloves.

“You got a little something.” Andy gestured to his own nose indicating the spot where Sol had a fair amount of grease plastered on her face.

“Again?” With a grunt of frustration Sol used the hem of her shirt to scrub at her face. The grease only smeared further over her nose and cheeks.

“Don’t do that!” Andy laughed. “You got it everywhere!”

“Ugh! I hate my life!” Sol huffed.

“Sit down. I got this.” Andy offered her the stool. Sitting, Sol watched him curiously until he came back with a squirt bottle, a surprisingly clean rag, and a mirror. “I will be your stylist today. I was trained in the art of beauty!”

With an impish grin Andy did a clumsy spin and struck a pose, spinning the bottle on his finger as if it were a ring of car keys.

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Andy winked. “Now let the master work.”

Sol sat perfectly still as Andy worked at cleaning away the stubborn residue. She’d had experiences like this before and her skin was often left red and raw from the rough material. This time, however, it was different. Andy managed to perform the task with ease being surprisingly gentle.

“Aaaaaaand, done.” He declared. “Take a look babe.”

Andy held up the mirror for Sol to check her reflection. “Not bad Grace.”

“Clean as a whistle.” Andy nodded. “Like I said...I’m the master.”

“Of dorkiness.” Sol scoffed tossing the dirtied rag at him.

“My feelings.” Andy feigned offense. “Anyways, we have a game of capture the flag to prepare for.”

“Indeed.” Sol nodded. “I have a feeling this will be very interesting.”

— — —

Indeed it was. Maria and Jaxon were inevitably on the same team once more. Only this time, Grey was left trying to manage the forces.

Maria and Jaxon had both adopted personal agendas and didn’t bother to acknowledge the rest of their team.

“Okay, so...I’m on defense. This is cool.” Andy talked to himself as he paced beside the flag.

“What’d you expect? We got our moment of glory last time. The other kids were destined to have a shot.” Sol frowned sitting on a rock and sharpening her blade. “But the schedule goes Wednesday-Friday for Capture the Flag games. We get another shot soon enough.”

“Yeah, but I expected more entertainment.” Andy paused in his pacing to kick a rock into the trees. At first neither of them noticed it but then it became quiet clear.

There was a commotion going on at the center of the battlefield. From the sound of it nearly everyone had stopped to watch. “Okay, I know we have to guard this but-“

“Come on.” Sol was already running in the direction of the noise with Andy following hot on her heels. The two stumbled from the woods to find a very alarming sight.

“Oh my Gods they’re trying to kill each other.” Andy breathed.

Despite being on the same team Jaxon and Maria were locked in a heated duel. Maria had a score to settle and she intended on restoring some of her pride.

Sol was the first to do anything. Being small she managed to worm her way through the gathered crowd. Andy squeezed his way through with a bit more effort.

“I said go to the right.” Jaxon growled.

“What I do is not up to you.” Maria replied slashing at him with her sword. Jaxon stepped to the side and lashed out in return. Maria arched her blade behind her back ending the strike. “You made it quite clear.”

Spinning Maria slashed angrily at Jaxon’s ankles. Leaping he twisted in the air sending a blast of air far more violent than he should have. Maria was knocked to the side, she tumbled a bit, before coming to a rest.

“Jaxon what are you doing?!” Andy demanded latching onto his brother’s arm.

Maria crawled to her feet, rolledher shoulders, and gave a twirl of her sword; a challenge.

“Enough. Both of you.” Grey stepped between the two raging demigods. “Knock it off.”

“Step aside Grey.” Maria’s voice was full of authority, dripping with the power only a true leader could muster.

“Make me.” The eldest boy raised his chin in defiance.

“Sorry.” Maria gave him an apologetic look before charging at Jaxon and using her elbow to nudge Grey aside. Jaxon shoved Andy away, who stumbled back into the crowd of people.

Sol’s anger flared up and despite herself her arms ignited in bright orange fire. Jaxon made another strike but Sol deflected the blade and caught hold of the weapon. The blade sizzled before the gold began to melt.

Jaxon looked down in surprise before it dawned on him that Sol was ruining his father’s blade. He’d just gotten it back from Thia via Hermes’ messenger friends: wind nymphs. Now, Sol was melting the gold into a bubbling puddle. On instinct he reacted.

Sol was blasted back into Maria causing both girls to collapse on the ground. There was the sound of a painful snap and a cry of pain.

“What is the meaning of this?” The demand came from Chiron who had finally made his way to the commotion.

Jaxon looked with teary eyes at the ruined heirloom in his hand. He had grown up using the blade, dreamed of smiting enemies as dangerous as his father had. It was gone now. Ruined.

Grey knelt beside Sol and Maria. “Are you two alright?”

“Ugh, yeah.” Maria mumbled rubbing her head. She glanced over at Sol only to find the young girl crying and nursing her very broken wrist. “Oh Gods.”

She wasn’t the only one to notice the injury. Grey’s eyes widened and he moved to help her. Andy flew into a rage. He tackled his brother to the ground despite his smaller stature and let his fists fly.

“What is wrong with you? Huh?” His fists stung painfully. “You can’t hurt people like that!”

“Stop!” Jaxon held his arms up to protect his face. “Andy, stop!”

The younger boy was thrown off with a buck of Jaxon’s hips. Jaxon wrapped his arms around Andy holding him still.

“Get off of me!” Andy yelled, squirming violently.

The commotion ended only when each of the demigods was dragged to the infirmary.

— — —

“I have no idea what’s gotten into all of you but you need to figure it out.” Jason stood with his arms crossed looking at each of the kids who sat nursing injuries. Grey was the only one completely unscathed.

“You cannot go around trying to kill each other! That’s not okay!” Annabeth who had also been selected to give the lecture pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I didn’t do anything.” Andy protested.

“You pummeled your brother.” Jason glowered. Andy opened his mouth to reply but Jason held up a hand. “Andy Clay Grace, do not argue.”

“So what’s the punishment?” Grey asked glumly.

“You’re all staying here until you sort it out. No leaving or going home.” Jason determined.

“That’s not fair!” Maria cried.

“Some of you can go home, Grey, Sol. You are both allowed to leave.” Neither of them made a move. “Or you can stay here if you wish.”

“Figure it out.” Annabeth shrugged. “It’s that simple. There’s no unity in anything if infighting this bad exists.”

— — —

And so they were left there to solve their problems. Maria selected her own little corner of the infirmary and claimed it her own. Jaxon did the same.

“Let me see it.” Grey knelt in front of the bed Sol sat on and gently took her bandaged wrist. “It should heal relatively well, maybe a bit of physical therapy will be needed, and no forge for some time.”

“Your dad said all of that already.” Sol mumbled. Sniffling she wiped her nose on her sleeve.

“Well, I learned from the best.” Grey stood and ruffled her hair. “I’ll be back. I’m going to get cleaned up.”

“Was it wrong to punch him?” Sol startled at Andy’s remark. He’d been so quiet she had hardly noticed him there.

“Yeah.” Sol nodded. Andy’s head was bowed and his bottom lip began to tremble.

“I just got mad. I didn’t mean to hurt him that bad but-I don’t like him when he’s like this.” Andy hardly cried and so Sol was left with a brief moment of surprise. She wasn’t sure what to do. She’d never been the best at comforting someone.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Sol gave a light punch to his arm with her good hand. “People mess up.”

“Yeah, but a good brother doesn’t punch his sibling.” Andy sniffled.

“A good brother also doesn’t push his sibling.” Sol slung her arm around Andy’s shoulders. He didn’t say anything else after resting his head on her shoulder. She let him cry and pretended not to notice for his sake.

— — —

Jaxon sat staring at the deformed blade. He couldn’t believe it. He wanted to cry. With an angered grunt he chucked it across the room where it clattered to the floor. “Stupid.”

Maria glanced in his direction and felt a tiny amount of sympathy for him. She did know how much the weapon meant to him. “Your dad won’t be mad you know.”

“Yeah right.” Jaxon huffed.

“He’s not that big of an ass.” Maria noted dryly. The conversation ended quickly and the infirmary was bathed in a permanent silence. Slowly the demigods began to drift off to sleep and the silence would remain until the morning.

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