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#anyways i kin him. what who said that
ye-oldroderich · 11 months
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cant believe i missed his birthday. happy belated birthday you filthy animal
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smile-files · 5 months
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there's something interesting to be said about how nickel's female friends have to constantly school him on how horrible he is but animationepic won't say it
#melonposting#spoof#<- kinda#ii neg#<- also kinda#i hate nickel. i need to kin balloon just so i can experience dropping nickel into that stupid cereal box pit#also y'know what to those people who think nickel loves clover... you're right he is kinda obsessed with her#in that he hates her so much for something that he wants (being a likable/good/happy person) <- according to my interpretation anyway#of course he doesn't want/know how to put in the effort to have it#suitcase screamed at him (as she should've) and that didn't go through his thick skull#only clover in her infinite gentleness and grace could let him know that perhaps he should say sorry for harassing someone all their life :#and even then it isn't sincere#like please don't tell me any of you took his 5-second bizarrely emotionally intelligent notes app apology seriously. good god#like i dunno it was just like clover said to apologize and he said 'on it boss'#or what are we just gonna believe that ae was like. y'know what? this guy just needs to say he's sorry#once#out of nowhere#and we won't have to worry about the horrible things he's done to people (cough cough suitcase)#like heck even if balloon accepts this bs it doesn't do jack for her (not like he should anyway)#this idiot's just so far in the socioemotional gutter that after doing a series of horrible things (which he's been made well aware of)#he'll only so much as acknowledge that he did them if it means he gets friendship points from ae's princess celestia#good god man you're not the leader of a stupid team anymore. get over yourself#the funny thing is that the only excuse for his writing lately is basically a headcanon on my end#i'm just reading into this nonsense. as far as i know he's just being written horribly haha#he's interesting to think about in the lens of 'guy who wants to be happy/good/likeable but does not actually care about anyone'#but if i'm being honest with myself to ae he's just 'jerk who's actually nice now. no he isn't. yes he is for real this time (believe us)'#whatever i need to go to bed
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daz4i · 9 months
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if i had a nickel for every kin of mine that got shot in the head by his homoerotic rival I'd have 2 nickels. which isn't a lot but it's still weird that it hap
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strwbrymlkshake · 4 months
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who up praying for downfalls 🤨
#mine#yandere#yancore#yandere vent#oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy#its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking#the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with#my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in#a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear#of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right#youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person#this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for#their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are.#i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think#idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight#its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU#but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway#if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test#die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said#this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten#with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like#we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it.#because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!!#like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business#clearly they did not grow up italian 💀#clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything#anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist#advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours#and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves.#if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc
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squishosaur · 10 months
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eclipse - a group of misunderstood people trying to express themselves and reach others through song. they have a soft, orchestral, impressionistic sound to their music.
MISSION!! worldwide smile ☆☆☆ - a fun-loving band dedicated to making people happy with their pop songs! composed of earnest, loving people who want to help others while proving their worth to themselves and everyone else.
MAYONAKA BLACK - a group of misfits who, despite their diverse backgrounds, have been connected through the internet. their very hype, synthesized instrumentals are juxtaposed with dark, poetic lyrics.
Starlight Express - a theatrical trio who puts liveliness into everything they do in an attempt to put a smile on the faces of their friends and families.
decrowned - after a rather embarrassing fall from grace, a former star recruits two upcoming talents to perform with her again. with heartfelt lyrics and resonant vocals, they're taking every stage by storm.
TIGER EYE - a punk rock group, sick of the people in power and the systems in place in society. they have a unique blend of strong percussions, rocking guitars, powerful vocals, and stunning dance moves.
hyperdrive!!! - a boy struggling to find his identity is guided solely by two people who couldn't care less about theirs. they have a certain level improvization and new personality in every performance.
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solcarow · 2 months
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meatbricks · 5 months
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How would the painter and bruteforce react to a reader with unique features? Something like Heterochromia, or albinism?
yet another awesome question! thank you, anon! :D
anyways no rambling this time, lets get right into this:
in terms of them just observing/stalking you for Potential Victim Research Purposes™, i think that having those conditions/features would significantly raise your chances of being their next victim
this is pretty much just because of Painter's belief that "abnormalities" (for lack of a better word) make people beautiful and his drive to make his victims even more "beautiful"
expect the way in which you're tortured/killed to reflect your condition (e.g., if you have albinism you might have bleach poured on you to "make you more pale", if you have heterochromia expect something to happen to your eyes, etc)
in terms of how they'd actually interact with you (outside of torture of course), that'd be a bit different i think
they both relate to you on some level (both of them looking a bit Unusual™ themselves), but ironically that only seems to make their treatment of you worse
Painter sees you as some sort of "rare artifact", more of an object than a person (as per usual), reducing you to just your condition and basing all of his interactions with you around it as opposed to who you are as a person
Bruteforce, on the other hand, relates to you a little more directly and seems to see you as a bit more of an equal; likely due to the fact that his own unusual appearance affects his physical health and wellbeing a little more than Painter's does (e.g., he has red splotches on his skin as a result of mild radiation sickness)
despite this, however, he still doesn't see you as completely equal, as he uses the fact that he can relate to you on some level as justification to essentially make fun of you for the way you look
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musashi · 1 year
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i literally love irl foreshadowing so much but the white haired anime boy uquiz honestly takes the fucking cake it is by far the funniest thing that has ever fucking happened to me
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reikunrei · 2 years
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the part of me that wants to get involved in more stranger things fan content and discussing theories and whatnot VS the part of me that absolutely hates looking at any sort of fan content or theories that don’t directly align with the specific version of it i have in my brain. fight fight fight fight
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pathologicalreid · 1 month
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next of kin | S.R.
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disaster strikes and you and Spencer try to take custody of your younger sister
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: actually might be gn! but i'm too scared to say it is. death, orphan-ing, funerals, child custody issues, blood, general cm violence, like actually an abhorrent amount of death. sorry i killed your parents for the sake of my fanfiction can we still be friends? word count: 3.33k a/n: this is the fic that this post is about. i am in fact my own worst enemy. i hope y'all like it actually genuinely i am most definitely overthinking this. if your name is maya im sorry that sucks.
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“What did your parents say?” Spencer asked, walking into the conference room that the local precinct had offered to you.
You had been staring blankly at your phone since you got off the call with your mother, “Uh, they said thanks, but no thanks.”
The uneasy feeling had settled in your stomach as soon as you found out the team was being called to your hometown, and you had been nauseous ever since you found out the UnSub’s pattern.
Married couples with an older child who had moved out and a younger child who was still at home.
Your little sister was a surprise, you had incorrectly assumed your parents were done having kids.
Until today, you wouldn’t have traded Maya for the world, but now you sat in fear of your family being targeted by a serial killer. Hotch had offered them a protective detail, but they declined. Self-righteous as they were, they told you it wouldn’t feel right for them to accept help that couldn’t be offered to everyone.
Clenching your jaw, you stood at the table, “I’ll go by later and check in on them.”
Spencer had met your family twice by now. Last Christmas he had tagged along to meet them and celebrate with your family before the two of you spent New Year’s with his mom. Then, while your sister was on Spring Break, they flew out to Virginia, and you and Spencer had shown your family around Quantico and the District.
Maya had loved Spencer, partially because you loved him, but mostly because of his magic tricks.
“Do you want me to go with you?” He asked, stepping up next to you and placing a hand on the small of your back.
You sighed and shook your head, “No, not if you’re needed here.” You reached up and cupped his cheek, smiling softly, “Thank you for offering, Spence.”
He nodded affirmatively, “If you change your mind,” he offered. Gently, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead before the two of you returned to the rest of the team.
The fact that your parents lived only five minutes from the police station gave you some relief, but you still felt tightly wound. Everyone had noticed. You just needed this case to be over.
The porch lights were on when you got there, and you used your house key – which you had never taken off of your keychain - to open the front door. “Hey, kiddo,” your dad greeted from the couch. A peek into the kitchen showed you that your mom was wiping down the counters. It all felt so eerily normal.
It was dark by the time you had gotten there. Maya was already asleep, but you tip-toed into her room anyway and kissed her goodnight before going back downstairs. Once you had hugged both of your parents and told them you loved them, you made your way back to the police precinct.
By nearly three in the morning, there was no new information, and the team was starting to consider calling it a night until the police chief got a call.
“We just got a call. Lady reported shouts coming from her neighbor’s house at 86 Meadowbrook,” he informed you, putting his hands on his hips and looking around at the team.
None of them even spared him a returning glance, everyone’s eyes were on you.
Blinking rapidly, you nodded assuredly, “I have to go get Maya.” You didn’t even recognize your voice even as you said it. It couldn’t have been your voice. That was the rasp of someone far away from you.
All of the other voices around you were muffled, you couldn’t hear what people were telling you, let alone understand them.
Maya. Maya. Maya.
Brown eyes. There they were, right in front of your face. “Let’s go get her,” Spencer whispered.
You had been speaking out loud. Repeating your sister’s name like a prayer without even realizing it.
Hotch let you go with them, but he made it abundantly clear to you – and the rest of the team – that you weren’t working this case anymore.
Surrounded by reverent voices in an SUV, JJ drove while Spencer stayed in the back with you. He held your hand tightly in his.
The house was closed off with police tape. Bright yellow plastic fluttered in the wind as you watched your team and other emergency personnel enter and exit. At your insistence, Spencer went in to get Maya, it felt like it had been hours before he walked out, carrying her in his arms.
Carefully, he brought her to you, and you pulled her close to your chest, blocking her eyesight as two body bags were brought out of the house.
You didn’t hear anything after that. You just let yourself be moved to wherever you needed to be, holding your kid sister as she cried for your parents.
They had to take their bodies to the hospital even though they were already gone, and you needed to be the one to confirm their identities. Spencer stayed with Maya while you were busy. She had cried herself to the point of exhaustion, you were grateful that she was sleeping, and then you felt cruel.
By sunrise, she was still asleep, and you had been set up in that same conference room from earlier. Sitting across from you was a social worker, a representative of the state. Your lips had parted in shock as you looked at her, “What do you mean they denied my request?”
In an attempt to be helpful, JJ worked with you to file an emergency request for custody of Maya, and the case worker had just told you that the request was denied. “The state doesn’t believe your request is valid,” she told you.
Your mouth went dry, “I don’t…” you glanced over at your little sister. “Our parents were murdered last night, and they won’t let me take custody of my sister?” You asked indignantly, peering at the social worker. It wasn’t her fault, somewhere in your grief-ridden brain you knew that, but you couldn’t help the feeling that she was somehow your enemy.
“They don’t believe you can provide her with a stable living environment,” the social worker, Brittany, explained.
Narrowing your eyes, you responded, “A stable living environment like a foster home? I’m her sister. We’re family – the only family each other has left.” You stood up, excusing yourself for a moment before walking out of the precinct. Once you were outside, you promptly hurled into the bushes.
That was how he found you, to the side of the building with your hair haphazardly moved out of your face, dry heaving into the shrubbery. Gently, Spencer placed a hand on your back before starting to rub small circles on your back, “You should eat something, love.”
You just shook your head in response, you weren’t hungry. “They won’t let me take her,” you whispered morosely, straightening up, you kept your back facing him.
“What?” He asked, his hand abruptly stopping its movement on your back.
Taking a deep breath and sitting on the curb, you looked up at Spencer. “The state thinks I’m not stable enough to take her in,” you said, resting your chin in your hands.
Your boyfriend crouched down so that he could sit next to you, “Are you going to challenge it?”
“Of course I am,” you cried. “But what happens to her in the interim, Spence? She gets placed with whatever foster home here and I go back to Virginia? I see her when the family court resolves this in two years?”
Treading carefully, Spencer cleared his throat, “What are you going to do?”
Defeated, you shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m…” your voice trailed off. “My parents are dead, Spencer,” you murmured softly, tears welling in your eyes.
He reached out and wrapped his arms around you, “I know, darling. I know. I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t think I can do this alone,” you whispered, leaning gently into him.
Spencer turned to kiss your temple, “It’s a good thing you’re not alone then. I’m not going anywhere.” He waited for a moment before continuing, “Give me something to do. Give me a job to take off of your shoulders.”
In the end, you let Spencer take over funeral planning. He thanked you for trusting him before the both of you went back into the precinct.
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You had just hung up with a family lawyer who had offered to take your case, letting your phone drop to the floor, you let your arms hang at your side. Someone had taken Maya to get breakfast while you spoke with the lawyer.
At the sound of the phone falling to the floor, Spencer stepped into the conference room, letting the door click shut before him. “Hey, what did he say?”
Pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes, you took in a deep breath, “Um, he said he’d be willing to take the case if I could put together a case plan to present before the judge.”
Before that phone call, you didn’t know what a case plan was, you could’ve gone your whole life without knowing what a case plan was.
“I need a year-long plan for how I’m going to prepare to have Maya in my custody, but he said a year is the best he can do,” you said, staring blankly at the wall ahead of you. “A year?” You whispered aimlessly, “I’m not waiting a fucking year to take custody of her. I have to take her home, Spence. I have to.” It wasn’t your intention to snipe at him, but you felt like you couldn’t help yourself.
The events of the last twelve hours threatened to take you down, but you had to stay strong for Maya.  
Taking a shaky breath, you looked up at Spencer, “Why is it that every time I convince myself that it’s going to be okay, I get tossed to the ground again?” You asked him.
Maybe because you weren’t fully convinced. Maybe it was because it had only been seven hours. You needed to remind yourself of that.
“She’s a ward of the state?” Spencer asked for clarification, holding you tightly.
Nodding absentmindedly, you rested your head on his shoulder as he swayed gently. “She can stay with me until after the funeral, and after that, she has to go with the social worker.”
The sad look on Spencer’s face told you that he was running out of ideas, and you were coming to the very same conclusion. “We could get married,” he offered.
“Stop, Spence,” you said, shaking your head. You couldn’t believe this was where he was going.
He shrugged helplessly, “I’m serious, Y/N. If we get married, they might think we’re stable, as a couple. They might give us custody.”
Your shoulders slumped, “I don’t want to get married just to get custody of my sister.” It certainly wasn’t that you didn’t want to marry Spencer, just not like this.
He nodded understandingly, “I know, but I’m just saying. If that’s what it takes, then I’ll do it.” Placing a comforting hand on your knee, the two of you sat in silence for a moment. “Do you have any ideas?” He asked you carefully.
Looking through the blinds of the conference room, you saw the rest of the team coming back to the precinct. Setting your jaw, you nodded, “I might.”
Opening the door, you had Maya go in with Spencer while you approached your Unit Chief. “Hey,” Hotch said, a glint of sympathy in his eyes. “How are you holding up?” He pulled you away from the people, wanting to give you privacy.
This wasn’t fair, they were still working on an active case. A case that was disturbingly close to you, and yet, you felt you were out of options. “I need a favor,” you blurted to him, wringing your hands. Your nervous energy made it impossible for you to stay still.
Hotch nodded, “What do you need?” He asked, studying your composure with the eye of a profiler.
You took a deep breath, “I was… I need you to call in a favor with someone. Anyone, really. The state won’t let me take custody of Maya, but I can’t let her become a ward of the state. Not when I’m right here, ready, willing, and able to take her.”
“Okay,” he responded, not even pausing to think about it.
Taken aback, you looked at him curiously, “I- that’s it? I had groveling prepared.”
He nodded almost imperceptibly as if he was trying to tell you it wasn’t necessary. “You’ve been a part of this team for years and not once have you ever asked for anything in return for everything you do for everyone else. This is the least I can do,” he told you.
You couldn’t help it. Overwhelmed, you tackled Hotch in a bear hug, “Thank you.” Your voice was low, “Thank you so much.”
Succinctly, Hotch hugged you back before you pulled away, “I’ll go make some calls.”
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It was the smell.
The smell that you’d sensed countless times before on the job, the metallic tang of the blood. It should’ve been mostly dried by now – you supposed you were more susceptible to the scent, considering it was your parent’s blood, but it put you on high alert.
Emily had brought you by so that you could pack a bag for Maya, but you found yourself stuck on the landing. To one side, there was your childhood bedroom and Maya’s room. On the other side, there was your parent’s room.
“Y/N?” Emily called your name from downstairs, “Are you alright?”
No, you wanted to say, but you bit your tongue, scanning the house you had grown up in. “This doesn’t belong here,” you told her, glancing behind you as she made her way up the staircase.
You didn’t have gloves, so instead you pointed at the figurine that was resting on the bookshelves, a little bear facing in the direction of your parent’s bedroom door. “This is in the wrong spot?”
Nodding, your eyes followed the ceramic bear as Emily picked it up with a gloved hand. “It’s mine, it should be in my room,” you informed her. Your parents never changed anything about your childhood bedroom, not since you moved out. “It was like it was watching them,” you thought aloud.
“Do you think the UnSub did it?” She asked you gently, her voice was low but steady.
Blinking rapidly, you kept your eyes focused on the figurine, “Little Bear,” you murmured, “They called her Little Bear.”
Emily shook her head in confusion, dark hair swaying as her head moved. “Who was called Little Bear?”
Dropping the bag you had packed to the floor, you buried your face in your hands, “I should’ve seen it sooner.” The victimology, it all suddenly made sense to you. “When I was a kid, there was a family like mine. A brother who was in his twenties when his parents had another baby, a girl. They called her Little Bear.”
Realization dawned on Emily’s dark features, “Like this bear?”
You picked up the bag and started making your way back down the stairs. “Their mother made those figurines. The parents died in a fire two weeks ago – they left everything to the younger sister. It was all over the news. God, I should’ve figured it out sooner.”
“Hey,” Emily said sympathetically, “You had other things going on. None of this was your fault.” Her voice was stern, harsher than you’d ever heard her, as she pulled out her phone and called the team.
Your teammate drove, passing the police station on the way to drop you off. They left for the takedown, and you felt yourself floating into the precinct. Maya was waiting in the conference room for you, watching cartoons on someone’s laptop.
Kneeling in front of your little sister, you tapped the space bar, pausing the video. “Hey, kiddo,” you whispered, reaching over, and smoothing her hair away from her face. “How are you feeling?”
She had cried herself to sleep earlier, and you felt like you hadn’t been around enough. Maya sat up on the couch and rubbed her eyes, they were red, but not teary. “I miss mommy,” she told you, pouting slightly.
You nodded gently, moving to sit next to her before you pulled her into your lap. At six years old, she was all gangly limbs, just starting to grow into her own person. Just old enough to understand death, “I know, baby. I miss them too.”
“They wouldn’t lemme go home,” she continued, leaning her head on your shoulder. “I wanted Thumper,” she whined, sounding younger than she was.
Looking up at the light, you silently begged for your tears to go away. “I got him for you,” you told her, reaching into your bag and producing the small stuffed bunny that you had given her as a baby.
You savored the way her eyes lit up as she grabbed the stuffed animal from you.
“So, you and Thumper are gonna come to stay with me in Virginia. Do you remember going there? You said you liked it?” You kept smoothing her hair back as she held her toy.
She was silent for a moment, “Will Spencer be there?” She asked quietly.
Smiling slightly, you nodded, “He and I live together, so he’ll be there with us.” Slowly, you started rocking back and forth, trying to soothe the both of you simultaneously.
“As long as he doesn’t pull money out of my ear,” she answered succinctly, shutting her eyes as she leaned up against you.
There was approximately an hour before you watched the team return to the precinct, slowly, you laid Maya down on the couch before walking out. “It was a clean shoot,” you heard Rossi tell Morgan, and one look at the rest of them told you everything you needed to know.
The team went back to the hotel, and Spencer filled you in on the funeral arrangements he had made on your behalf. You were about to try to get some sleep when Hotch approached you and told you he needed to speak to you.
“I called a good friend of mine on your behalf, and he gave me some information. We were able to work out a plan,” he told you, sitting across from you in the hotel lobby.
You were about to tell him that a case plan wouldn’t work, but he held his hand out, telling you to wait.
He nodded before he kept going, “He was able to file an emergency request to grant you temporary custody of Maya, and it was granted.”
You felt sick to your stomach, “She’s mine?”
“Temporarily, you’ll have to take care of some formalities back in Virginia, but you have full custody of her,” he informed you. “You’re being granted family leave, and I’ve encouraged Reid to apply for it as well,” Hotch told you, reaching out and placing a hand on your shoulder. “I am… I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through this but thank you for coming to me when you needed the help.”
You nodded absentmindedly, your head still whirling with the information that you had just been given. Stumbling, you walked back to your hotel room that you were sharing with Spencer and Maya.
The funeral was planned, the custody issue was solved, all there was left to do was…
“Baby?” Spencer said softly as you swung open the door, “Everyone else took Maya to get ice cream, I figured it couldn’t-“ his voice broke off at your first sob.
Everything you had held in came bursting out, all of the grief and stress and exhaustion nearly knocked your legs out from underneath you.
But Spencer was there to catch you.
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undeadcortez · 1 year
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LOVE IN A TIME OF JEALOUSY
kai anderson x fem! reader | 6.3k words
!! SMUT BELOW THE CUT !! do not read if you are not eighteen or older | oral sex (m receiving), throat fucking, unprotected p in v sex, anal fingering, mentions of anal sex, no aftercare, degrading (kai calls reader a whore, a slut and a bitch), pet names (kai also calls reader baby and baby girl), very hot and cold mixed signals, kai is a warning all on his own
not gonna lie, this one took a while to complete, and the ending is definitely not it’s strong point, but i wanted to leave it open ended in case there was anyone who ached for a part two where kai has feelings and loves on the reader. tumblr gave me a heap of issues trying to get this ready to post so if things don't make sense or if there was a warning i missed, let me know!!
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Kai was pissed, to say the very least.
Sitting in his leather chair, elbows rested upon his thighs, hunched forward and legs spread open with a subtle bounce to the left, it was like they could almost see the smoke rising from his ears. The frown that pulled at his lips, the furrowed eyebrows, the tightness in his jaw — yeah, Kai was pissed. And they all knew the reason.
You were late. However, it wasn’t just that you were late. This was the third meeting that they’ve all waited in silence for thirty solid minutes, sitting on the floor in the uncomfortable anger that radiated off of their leader. It was almost suffocating, the awkward silence. Meadow swore she could choke on it, and Beverly seconded that theory.
“Maybe she’s just not coming, divine ruler,” all, but Kai’s eyes fell on Ivy as she broke the stillness, “I mean, she’s so hot and cold about this whole thing anyway, do we really want her here? Is it safe to have her here?”
Kai didn’t answer, and Meadow felt the need to speak up, “yeah, what if she’s out there, blabbing about everything, divine ruler? She’s nothing more, but a liability at this point, and I’m sure everyone here agrees.”
Then others murmured, and Harrison nodded his head. Kai’s gaze focused straight ahead, unwavering on a seam between wooden panels, but he took it all in. He knew you were a weakness to the cause, to everything he built. He thought about it nearly everyday — when he ate breakfast, when he was busy with the city council, when he watched you sleep peacefully beside him in his own bed.
Truth was, though, you never would. Kai had you wrapped around his little finger, and months of manipulation was to blame. If Kai said jump, you’d say ‘how high, divine ruler?’, and he knew it, too. Which is why whenever the thought of you spilling the cult’s secrets to someone crossed his mind, it wasn’t there for long. He knew you never would.
You were strong. The hardest it took to break down into submission, into a mere shell of your previous self. Kai enjoyed it, honestly — seeing you digress from complete independence to someone who lives, breathes, and adores him. And because it took so much to make you like that, because of all the time he poured into creating a woman devoted to him as a leader, he knew you wouldn’t crumble at the simplest of questions.
But, it was only that; him as a leader. You loved Kai, and he knew you did. He trusted you, loved you back in ways only he could. There’s no label here, though, and Kai couldn’t trust every man in the world to respect that you were untouchable, entirely his for the taking.
There were several opportunities to close the door, but Kai never would. Not until you were swollen with his kin, and even then, he debated the idea of getting a ring. What would his men think about him marrying? But, then again, who cared what they thought when he was their ruler? He ruled, made the rules, and if he married, so be it.
That’s not what he wanted, though. He simply just wished for your devotion, spiritually, physically, and emotionally. And though he’d broken you past the first, maybe even the last, that second wish would only be granted the moment he made it official. His girlfriend, or better yet, in your eyes, wife and possible mother of his messiah.
“Kai,” Winter broke him out of his thoughts, and touched his arm with her infamous gentleness, “they’re right. We should really consider cutting her off. Whether that’s kicking her out or killing her—.”
“Would you guys just shut the fuck up already?!” he snapped, standing up from his chair, and lost the staring contest between him and the wall. His eyes were nearly black as they peered down at his sister, and they only seemed to darken as he spoke, “you’re all dismissed. I don’t want to hear another fucking word from any of your goddamn mouths until morning.” He turned around to head upstairs, and slammed the door behind him.
Winter was the first to follow. She didn’t attempt an apology, but simply disappeared up to her room. Ivy was next, passing by Kai as she hurried out the door to her home, followed by Meadow, Harrison, and then Beverly who all, but ran to her car a few moments later. They left Kai alone, sitting on his sunken living room sofa, in the same position he started: waiting for you.
It would be another thirty-eight minutes before the headlights of your car peeked through the curtains, illuminating Kai’s face. The anger written on his face was gone now, and his expression laid flat— the only way one could tell were his eyes, and how they held nothing, but rage within them. Pitch black.
The jingle of your keys rang in his ears, and he grew angrier at the sound of each of your steps, nonchalant as they patter on each concrete stair. The lock turned and the door flew open before him, revealing you with a bright smile and smudged mascara. He remained sitting.
“Good evening, divine ruler,” you greeted as you tossed your keys into the bowl and shuffled off your coat. The casualness of the whole thing only made Kai’s anger worse. “What are you doing up here?” you questioned, and it was clear you had forgotten about the meeting entirely as a smirk pulled on your lips, “I was expecting you to be downstairs, tending to your—.” Kai’s speciality tonight was cutting people off.
“Where the fuck were you?” his tone matched his eyes, angry. The teasing smirk you adorned faded immediately.
“Kai, I—,” you rushed, but stammered to quickly correct yourself, “divine ruler, I told you last week I was going out to visit friends tonight.” You had. At dinner as Kai was stuffing his face full of the grilled chicken you had prepared. You should’ve known better then that the man doesn’t listen while he’s eating, just as much as you should’ve known better than to remind him of mentioning it before.
He stood from the sofa, greasy, blue waves framing his stern features. He towered over you, always did, and you hated it, especially like this. It made you feel incredibly small. His strong cologne, one that wreaked of tobacco, assaulted your nostrils, and a heat radiated off of him that you once found comfort in. A comfort that you knew you weren’t getting any of tonight.
“I’m sorry, Kai,” you whispered, doing all you could to avoid eye contact with the rageful, black globes that peered down at you, “please, don’t be mad.”
He was silent, and as he stepped forward, you found yourself stepping away. It was your natural instinct to flee, and you had hoped you may just be able to, until your ass was flush with the end table, and Kai’s hips were pinned against your own. There was no escape.
His hands rested upon the flat top of the table, completely enclosing you in his aura. It was thick with rage, almost suffocatingly so. Your chest was pressed against his own, rising and falling rapidly with every rushed breath. Breath that was intermingling with his, as his lips hovered above your own. This closeness wasn’t foreign in the slightest, but the goosebumps crawling up your arms it created in its wake were. And no matter how hard it was, you maintained eye contact.
“My people think I’m a fucking idiot because of you,” he spat, and his tone was harsh, but the volume was low, which was something you were entirely grateful for. “They look at me, waiting for you,” he paused and his grip on the table tightened, “for hours!”
You flinched. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Kai frustrated, nearly red in the face over the littlest of things, but it was something you could never get used to. Especially when you were on the receiving end. Maybe a few months ago, you would’ve bit back, stood up for yourself in some capacity… you were too far broken now.
“They think I’m some pussy-whipped bitch, YN!” he continued, “they think I’m risking this whole movement for some goddamn, sloppy pussy! Do you know how fucking dumb that makes me look, huh? Do you know how that makes me, their leader, look? When I’m waiting around for some whore to arrive home before I can spread my word?”
The fear you felt was boiling into rage, nearly matching Kai’s beneath your skin, but there was no fighting back. And if you were honest, Kai had said far worse things than this. So, you stood, breathing in his anger and bottling it up before murmuring, repeating for the third time, “I’m sorry, divine ruler.”
“Who were you with?” he asked, completely ignoring your apology once again. Suddenly, you knew it wasn’t just about you missing a gathering. Kai was jealous.
You were devoted to Kai. Even without the label, your fidelity was unwavering, despite whatever Kai believed. There was opportunity, and it was hard, but you’ve rejected each and every advance. And sure, you craved the exclusiveness, but maybe a part of you enjoyed Kai like this. It showed he had weakness. It showed he was human beneath that thick skin. Not to mention, the primal, possessive sex it resulted in was otherworldly. So, you kept Kai believing he didn’t have you entirely in his clutch, though he very much did.
“Just a few old friends,” you answered honestly, and it only pissed Kai off more. His left hand fell from the tabletop and rather held your waist. His thumb pushed up against the bone, pushing in, and you felt a whimper crawl up your throat. You promptly swallowed it down.
“Their names, YN,” he nearly growled, “what are their fuckin’ names?”
The look on his face made your cunt ache, the anger in his voice ran through your veins, and that rage you once felt in return was burning into lust. You didn’t know why it turned you on so much when Kai got so possessive. It was toxic, and you knew it as much as anyone else. It’s just the way he held you, his strong grasp on you and the closeness and the heat and his musk, it’s all overwhelming and it’s all so hot.
Debating on whether to tell the truth, or to speak at all, you finally opened your mouth, “why does it matter?”
A strong, irritated sigh left Kai’s nose, “you know why it matters.” You did, but you remained silent. “Answer the goddamn question!” he commanded after a moment of silence.
The grip on your hip was gone. He had dropped his hand back on the table, and rather pushed his hips against yours, sandwiching you further between him and the wooden surface. You squirmed. Kai was hard — you could feel the outline, the heat, of his angry cock pushed against your stomach. “Answer the fucking question, YN!” he yelled, and a thick wad of spit landed on your cheek.
“Ethan!” you answered, “I was with Ethan and Maggie.”
They were a couple you were friends with since middle school. It was always Ethan, Maggie, and you, even when the pair decided to hook up in high school and date in college. It had been years since you’d seen them, but it didn’t matter to Kai. No explanation could have mattered to Kai at that moment. You felt his cock kick beneath his layers. “You’re such a fucking whore,” he spat before pushing himself away, leaving you cold and trembling against the table.
There was no way Kai was done with you, and it would have been foolish to think so. As he paced along the length of the living room a couple of times, you remained, watching his every move like a hawk with blown pupils and glazed eyes. He brought a hand up, pushing back his hair from his face, and you could tell a million emotions had washed over it. Jealousy, anger, sadness… You opened your mouth to say something, but were cut off by his hands engulfing your cheeks, and his lips were smashed onto yours.
Gripping the table until your knuckles were white, you kissed back as well as you could muster. Kai’s lips were sloppy, moving against yours in a rageful lust, entirely passionate with emotions you couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Instead, you simply basked in your own desires, your own lust which had clouded your mind the second his palms met your cheeks.
His tongue soon wiggled its way past your lips, immediately establishing dominance, and you let him. Smashed up against the table, smothered between it and his muscular body, you let his tongue roam around in every inch of your mouth, moaning. The heavy feeling of his erect cock was back on your tummy, the warmth of it all had returned, and though he was angry, it was everything you needed.
When he pulled away, you swallowed down a disapproving whine. A thick trail of spit connected your lips, dangling between the two of you until it ultimately broke when he opened his mouth to speak again, “did he kiss you like that?”
It took all of your strength not to yell, to not roll your eyes to the back of your head and groan. It was so frustrating, confusing. On one hand, you liked the jealousy. You loved the heat of it all, the tight grip on your body, the furrowed brows, the bruising kisses. On the other, you hated your fidelity being questioned. You slept, ate, and thought only of Kai. It wasn’t fair — after all you’d done for him. “I didn’t kiss him, divine ruler,” you murmured, “I promise, it’s not anything like that.”
Somehow, that’s not what he wanted to hear. “Do you think I’m fucking stupid, YN?” he started, “do you think I don’t know when you lie to me? I know you like the back of my hand, better than anyone ever will. You fucked him tonight. Maybe you fucked that dumb bitch, Maggie, too. You’re a whore, it’s what whores do. Now admit it, or suffer the consequences.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Kai,” you stated, and you felt the tremble of his cock beneath his jeans at your words, “and I’m not about to start tonight. I didn’t fuck Ethan, I didn’t fuck Maggie, and I’m not a whore. Give me whatever punishment you see fit, but let it be known that I am devoted, and that devotion to you, divine ruler, is unwavering. You’d be punishing the innocent.”
His lips were back on yours with no further words. Bracing yourself on his shoulders, fingers curling against the muscles there, you kissed back. Bruises were sure to appear in the wake of his hands as they gripped your hips. The kiss was nothing short of passionate, as his tongue slipped past your puffy lips and made itself at home again. You whimpered into it, giving up whatever strength you had left tonight, and completely submitted there.
His taste was overwhelming now. You couldn’t quite place your finger on just what flavors were dancing on your tongue — it was just Kai. And it was intoxicating all in itself. As tongues rubbed along each other, his harsh while yours simply just ached to be against his, he groaned. His nose was smashed against your cheek, lips moving with fever that you just couldn’t keep up with. He pulled away again.
“I’m sorry, divine ruler,” you whispered, meeting his eyes, your own still glazed over, “please, forgive me. I promise, this won’t happen again. I’ll never be late again. I’ll never leave your side.”
His cock twitched, you felt it again against your tummy. He didn’t say anything in return, but he didn’t need to. You knew he wasn’t satisfied with just an apology, he never would be. His hands began to guide your hips, away from the table, and headed towards the stairs. You obliged.
Your steps were wobbly, stumbling as a strong hand left your right hip to open the door to lead the both of you downstairs. Another whimper crawled up your throat as his second hand fell to his side, waiting for you to make the trip to his bedroom first. You loved his hands, his powerful grasp. It made you dizzy, and made your cunt ache. Whenever it disappeared — didn’t matter if you had it for a while or just a few split seconds — it left you feeling like a newborn deer.
You could feel his gaze on your back as you gripped the handrail and made your way to the all too familiar den at the bottom of the stairs. His steps were heavy behind yours, and it was something about just hearing the solid step of his boots growing closer and closer… Once he reached the bottom, his hands were back on your hips, this time from behind. His hips were pressed firmly against your ass, and you could feel the thick outline of his cock again, pushing between your clothed cheeks as he walked with you to the bedroom. You didn’t know if it was for the better or for the worse that he still hadn’t said a word.
Once you were at the foot of the bed, his hand left your hip. Rather, it settled just below your shoulder blades and pushed, causing you to crash face first on the spring-filled mattress. Your lips trembled as a whine went tumbling through them, turning your head in hopes to see Kai. It didn’t work. With his other hand still grasping your hip, and his pelvis pushed snug against your bum, he was out of sight — at least his face was. His other hand had slid from your upper back to your lower, forcing you into an arch, and he moaned. That’s when he finally spoke back up.
“Prove it then.”
Your brows furrowed, “wh— what?”
A heavy sigh passed through his nostrils, and you swear you felt the warmth of it wafting against your back. “I said,” he paused, leaning forward and further pushing his dick between your clothed ass cheeks, “prove it, bitch. Prove that you’re sorry and devoted to me.”
You failed at your attempts to swallow down your moans. Letting another slip past your lips, you asked, “yes, divine ruler. How can I prove it to you?”
“You can’t be that devoted to me if you have to ask how,” he bit back through clenched teeth, and suddenly, his warmth was gone. His strong grasp was still present on your hips, and his cock was still situated between your bum cheeks, but he stood up straight. You whimpered and clenched around the painful emptiness, shivering as your pussy began to weep into your panties.
“Lay down,” he commanded, and then his whole presence was gone. Taking a step back, he was no longer holding you, rather observing as you did as you were told. And when he found a problem with it, he clicked his tongue, “nuh uh, with your head at the foot of the bed.”
You obeyed, and had nothing to say in response. With your neck bent over the curvature of the mattress, you watched with an upside down lense as Kai looped his fingers under his shirt and pulled it off. Your fingers clutched the cotton sheets beneath you, pushing your thighs together in an attempt to stop the ache between them. It was no use.
Kai was beautiful. Even as those hurtful spats left his mouth, even as he made you feel so small he could crush you, he was still beautiful. Ethereal — with abs that could cut diamonds, and blue hair that fell in waves and perfectly framed his face. That’s why he was so dangerous, you’ve figured. Draws in the innocent with his Godly features, just to turn against them the moment they see beyond his looks. You watched his hand graze over his tummy.
Calloused fingers ran over the brown, thick hair that kissed his lower belly until they were met with the hem of his jeans. With a watering mouth, you watched as he popped the button and unzipped, allowing his jeans to fall to the floor. The blue, plaid boxers he adorned left little to the imagination. A little wet spot of precum staining the front, and the perfect outline of his hungry cock. They soon met the floor as well.
He stood before you, naked, which wasn’t a sight you were unfamiliar with. Wrapping a hand around the length of his dick, and tilting his head back as he gave it a few warning pumps, you couldn’t do much, but carry on watching. So, you did just that, watching as he inched closer to your mouth, and finally felt the warm tip of his cock hit your lips. It smeared precum across your mouth like lip gloss as Kai spoke, “open.”
Once you parted your lips, your mouth was invaded by his girth. A harmony of your whimpers and his moans flooded the room as he sunk his cock further and further into the abyss of your mouth, right until his tip was kissing the back of your throat. You gagged around it, which was met with a stinging slap to your cheek. “If you’re gonna act like a whore,” he started, voice raspy and lustful, though still harsh, “then you’re gonna be treated like one. No gagging; this isn’t your first time here.” You whined as he slid in further.
The hand that just slapped your cheek moved to your throat, gripping it as he bottomed out in your mouth. His thick bush of brunette pubes tickled your chin whilst his balls sat heavily on your nose. You didn’t have any choice, but to take a deep breath, and groan at the smell of his musk invading your every sensation. You closed your eyes — there was really no point in keeping them open when your vision was blocked by his length anyway — and braced yourself for the raw experience you were about to endure. Kai was right, though; this wasn’t your wasn’t your first time here.
Blowjobs were more popular than sex in your relationship with Kai, especially when he felt you didn’t deserve to get off. Your throat was trained to adorn Kai, so while you’ve never had him like this before, it was better than a virgin throat. He began to move.
A long, stretched moan left his parted lips as his hips pulled back. You took in another breath just as the thick of his dick slid out of the tight confines of your throat. You pushed your tongue against the tip of it, collecting the precum and swallowing it down. Your throat was already on fire. “Atta girl,” he praised, which may seem surprising, but wasn’t rare once you were in the thick of it with Kai. Add it to the many reasons why you love a good, jealous fuck from Kai.
You groaned as he slammed back in, and it stung, but you loved it. Hearing the filthy, guttural noises Kai was making, mixed with the feeling of his strong grip on your throat… you pushed your legs tighter together. You were sure there was a wet spot where your thighs met, staining your pants in humiliating fashion, but you couldn’t care. Right now, you were just for Kai’s use, and you knew it. You kept your hands to your sides, gripping the cotton sheets, and got Kai off.
His thrusts were sloppy. No pace seemed to stay for more than a few mere seconds before he was speeding up, fucking into your throat. His free hand ran down his neck, over his collarbones and down his chest while his head remained tilted back. He was heavenly, if only you could see it. Instead, when you opened your eyes, you were met with the sight of his flushed, shiny dick sliding out of your throat, and you watched as he pushed it back with vigor. You whimpered around his length.
A few more thrusts in and his hand released your throat. You relaxed a bit, relishing in the feeling of his hand traveling to the scooped neckline of your top. Rough fingers slipped beneath the soft material and fished your tits out from the confines. He watched them bounce as his thrusts carried on, and you closed your eyes as calloused fingers had begun to brush over your nipples. They hardened beneath his touch in seconds.
“Good girl,” he praised, and his balls tightened, both indications of his oncoming climax, “taking your leader’s cock down your throat like it’s butter… with the prettiest set of tits I’ve ever fuckin’ seen. They’re all for me, right?” You hummed in agreement. “That’s what I thought,” he responded before pinching your left nipple roughly. You arched your back, moaning at the sensation coursing through your body, so overwhelmed by the simplest touch, you didn’t wrap your head around Kai cumming down your throat until after he was pulling out.
Your throat ached at its newly found emptiness. Cum connected Kai’s tip to the back of it as your mouth hung open for a few moments, attempting to catch your breath, but you merely choked on the thick juices as they threatened to climb up your throat. You hurriedly swallowed it down, whimpering as you opened your mouth to catch some air once more, but were met with Kai’s lips instead.
The position was awkward — Kai craning above you, a hand under your head to aid you in closing the space. Your neck ached, but it wasn’t something you were about to complain about. Kai’s tongue was slipping past your lips, tangling with yours, and that’s simply all you could think about. Well, that and the ever growing desire between your legs.
Your hands have Kai melting between them as they reach up and cup his cheeks. His body language, once stiff and angry, softened beneath your fingertips. The only harshness was his stubble, ticking at your palms, but it was nothing compared to the rage that was, just moments ago, filling the room with its hot and stuffy feel. You could bask in that moment for eternity. To bathe in that gooey scene, where Kai’s only concern was to love you, and yours to love him. It’s moments like these where you remember why you do exactly. Love him, that is. And you do love him, just as much as he loves you. All too soon, though, Kai is pulling back, the moment is ending, and the air feels thick again.
“On your hands and knees,” he commanded, a hand wrapping around his dick once again, “now.”
Once in position, Kai pulled down your pants and frilly panties until they hit your knees. Then, he didn’t wait another second to harshly spit on your asshole. You shuddered, moaning as it soaked your rim and dripped down between your drenched folds until it landed square on the sheets below. A firm hand gripped your bum cheek, pulled it to the side and left you further exposed to the man behind you. His other hand remained stroking his, once again, hardening cock. You clenched around nothing, whimpering at the overwhelming emptiness.
“Hmm,” he hummed, and you swear you could feel his gaze burn against your cunt as he pondered, “which hole do I fuck first?”
Your ass was let go, but only for a moment before a harsh slap landed across it. A groan slipped past your lips, and the blood was surely rushing to the surface in the form of Kai’s large hand, ready to bruise into the shape. “I asked you a question, bitch,” suddenly, you missed the loving Kai you had a moment ago, “which hole do I fuck first?”
It didn’t matter what you said here. Kai would choose whichever hole he desired more despite what you say. You didn’t mind that, though — you were just aching to get fucked wherever. An answer was all he was looking for, whether he thought it was right or wrong. “My pussy!” you cried out, “please, divine ruler, I want you to fuck my pussy first.”
Somehow, that was the right answer. “Good girl,” he repeated and without another moment to waste, his swollen tip was passing through your folds. He groaned, hand returning to the globe of your ass to spread you open. The sound was unholy — you were so wet, enough to continue to drip onto the sheets, and as Kai lined up with your cunt, it squelched. “Holy shit,” he uttered breathily, “you’re so fuckin’ wet, baby girl. You really do love being treated like a whore, don’t you?”
“Mhm,” you hummed as the fat head of Kai’s dick pushed into you. A soft gasp pushed through your parted lips, followed by a moan slipping right past them. Your fingers tangled in the sheets, gripping them as Kai bottomed out. You could feel the heat from his balls on your clit and whimpered at the prickly sensation.
He stayed like this for a moment, simply relishing in your warm, plushy walls, and you swore you could feel the tip of his dick in your stomach. His hand was now on your hip, and the grip was sure to leave bruises in the shape of Kai’s fingertips. His other hand remained on your ass, practically kneading the fat of it between his fingers as he admired what was all his for the taking. You whined as he pulled back.
His thumb grazed against your spit-soaked rim just as the swollen, pulsating head of his cock rested at your entrance. If the grip wasn’t so tight on your hip, you would’ve thrown your hips back, pushing him back into the depths of your cunt. Instead, you waited in near agony, relishing in the little friction you were getting on your asshole. It wasn’t enough, though, far from it.
When Kai slammed back into you, you saw stars. Moans filled his room, both yours and his creating a beautiful harmony in the sex-filled air. Immediately, Kai found a rhythm he was satisfied with, nothing short of rough. “You like that, baby?” he asked through his teeth, and you could hear the smile on his lips.
“Yes… divine… ruler!” you answered immediately, each word strained between his thrusts and followed by a smacking sound from his hips slamming against your own. His heavy balls hit your clit, over and over without fail. The sensitivity had you whining, and it didn’t help when Kai began to push against your rim. When his thumb finally breached, you nearly screamed at the stretch.
It sank in and stopped at the first knuckle. You threw your head back, chin resting upon the pillow beneath you. Struggled moans and whimpers left your lips like a never ending fountain. They were loud, but Kai, like in any other aspect of your relationship, overpowered them. Deep growls, grunts, and groans rumbled from his chest as he sped up. He finally pushed his thumb in its entirety into your pretty asshole.
His hand left your hip, and you could already feel the ache that took over in his place. He leaned forward, and rather groaned a handful of your hair. He growled as he pulled on it, yanking you up from pillows, the only comfort you found that evening. He didn’t let go once your back was firm against his chest. He held on tight as the back of your head hit his shoulder, receiving bruising kisses along your own. All the while, his thrusts were growing faster. His trusts were growing sloppy.
With a dropped jaw and wide eyes, you whimpered as Kai had his second orgasm of the evening. Pumping you full in a matter of minutes, leaving you with nothing, but only the subtle building of a coil in your tummy. He let go of your hair, and suddenly, your face crashed into the pillows once again. His cock left your achy cunt, and his thumb slipped out of the warm, plushy walls of your asshole. You could feel his cum dripping down your thighs as he spoke up, “flip around, baby girl.”
Once flat on your back, he tugged your pants and underwear completely off. You worked to take your shirt and bra off until you were both completely bare. His eyes devoured your body, pupils blown so wide you would have thought this is the first time he’s ever seen you naked. His cock was already hardening again, but you could tell his Godly stamina was running a bit thin. The tip was nearly purple, and the head had just a subtle bead of white decorating the top.
“You belong to me,” he stated, and no matter how much you wished for those words to be a lie, no matter how much you craved independence, freedom… you knew they were true, “say it, slut.”
The contrast between his caring ‘baby girl’ to the harshness of his ‘slut’ had your head spinning with whiplash. “I belong to you, divine ruler,” your voice was raw, fucked out, and even though your pussy was begging for release, you would’ve been content stopping there.
You were exhausted. As Kai inched closer, hovered above you, you could tell he was, too. Sweat decorated his forehead, causing the blue strands framing his face to curl just the slightest. His breath was hot as it hit your face, “tell me all of your holes belong to me.”
The wet, heavy tip of his dick rubbed against the rim of your asshole. You shuddered. “All of my holes belong to you, Kai,” you repeated, and every muscle in your body tensed as he prodded at the hole with the head of his cock.
“Don’t you fuckin’ forget it,” he murmured, and suddenly, his cock was disappearing from your bum. Rather, he quickly re-entered your cunt, leaving the hole sticky with precum. You couldn’t complain one bit, though, because his cock was buried deep against your cervix, and his thick bush of pubes was hitting your clit just right. You knew you wouldn’t last more than just a mere few thrusts. And he wouldn’t either.
Your hip fit snug in his hand, and his thumb pulled at the hood of your clit as he began to pound into your puffy cunt. You whimpered, now further exposed to his bushy pelvis as it hit your clit with each and every thrust. His other hand grasped your own, tangling your fingers together and pushing it down against the pillow beside your face. You squeezed, hard.
Your free hand was finding refuge on his shoulder, nails digging into the skin. He growled. There wasn’t a moment devoid of eye contact. His were nearly black while yours sparkled beneath him. Both held immeasurable lust, and maybe even a little love. His tip hit that plushy spot inside of you.
“Oh!” you moaned out, finally closing your eyes in hope to just relish in the pleasure.
Kai sped up his motions, attacking your g-spot over and over. “Look at me,” he commanded immediately, and your eyes fluttered open while your cunt wept around his cock.
It was all so hot. His breath as it wafted in your face, your own intermingling with it and steaming up the room. The coil in your lower tummy was burning, tightening and tightening with each thrust of his hips, each hit to your clit, each clench of your pussy. Sweat dewed on your skin, and the beads pearling on Kai’s forehead began to run down his temples.
He groaned, and you could feel his balls tighten just slightly. “Repeat it, baby girl,” he asked, an almost whine to his voice, though it was still gruff and raw.
The coil was close to snapping. Your clit was tensing up, your cunt was tightening — all you needed was a few more thrusts. “‘m yours, divine ruler!” you cried out as Kai rubbed the hood of your clit a few times. It was over; the coil snapped.
Your orgasm hit like one big wave. Your pussy fluttered around his dick, thighs trembled against the mattress. You moaned, too blinded by the climax to realize Kai was finishing off, too, pumping you full of his cum for the third time that night. You hadn’t even realized you closed your eyes once more. 
When you opened them, you were met by the two hands, still interlocked with white knuckles and sweaty palms. You hummed, trembling still from the intense climax, as you moved to look at Kai, whose head was dipped between the both of you, blue waves dangling in front of your eyes. And suddenly, a droplet fell onto your tummy. 
It was water, a tear to be exact, wept straight from the eye of the man on top of you. Before you could speak, or even move your hand to wipe anymore that threatened to spill over, Kai was pulling out. And it was only a moment where you caught a glimpse of those glazed eyes before he disappeared from the bedroom. He left you in a flash, the cum spilling over your folds still dewey and warm. You shivered. 
Kai’s jealousy was a tricky little thing, but you had never ended an envious fuck like this. He loved you, he wanted you despite all the shit he’s put in motion to keep it from happening. You knew you had to talk to him about what just happened, but perhaps that was a chat to bring up in the morning. Instead, you pulled the covers over your shivering body, breathed in Kai’s scent that riddled the blankets, and thought about the one thing you knew for sure now: 
He loved you. 
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when I played Caribert, I was pretty disappointed about the lack of impact Dain seemed to have on Kaeya, honestly. during Kaeya's hangout, he didn't mention the weird cryptic blond dude who just dropped family lore once, which I thought would have been pretty important?
but in truth, I think Dain actually had a HUGE impact on Kaeya.
we can all know that from Kaeya's personal lore and former events that Kaeya had very conflicted feelings over his duty to Khaenri'ah and his love for Mondstadt, even with his estranged relationship with Diluc (which now seems partly fixed?), but in the performance route of Kaeya's hangout, Kaeya makes his choice.
The story of Prince Qubad is a very, very thinly veiled metaphor for Khaenri'ah all throughout, and then we finally get to the end scene of the play:
Kaeya: When I departed my beloved home to fight in a foreign land, I did so to honor his (my father's) wishes and for my duty to our people. Kaeya: alas, is this fate's grand design… that I should spend the rest of my days in a foreign land, till I am laid to rest in a grave far from home? K: Must it be so…? K: my dear audience, I ask you this: do you believe in fate? if fate decreed that your life was to end in tragedy, what would you do? Traveler: I would challenge my fate, and rise above it. / I would bravely face my fate. K: then so must it be! I shall discard this intaglio, and rid myself of the shackles of fate. G: my dear prince, do you intend to betray your father, and abandon your heritage? K: fate means to send the machinations of war to every corner of the land, to fan the flames of conflict til they engulf the entire world…
K: fate would see my sword tainted with the blood of innocents, that the bright banner of my homeland might fly in every nation known to mankind. K: but I shall not bow to the will of fate. I am no pawn in heaven's plan. K: I, Kaeya Qubad, will spend the rest of my days in a foreign land, til I breathe my last in a place far from home. K: but I must walk this path, or freedom dies by my hand. goodbye, my tribe and kin. farewell, sweet land of my birth.
after a lifetime of questioning his role, Kaeya makes his choice for Mondstadt. and I think this happening after meeting Dain isn't a coincidence. (and no, not in a soulmate way or shipping way- this is Kaeya's moment of choice, not infatuation.)
after not only learning the history of his origins, Kaeya meets a Khaenri'ahn who... doesn't want to return Khaenri'ah to its glory days? who is more focused on helping others and minimizing damage than causing more for his own gain? who chose his path and has not budged since, even through loss?
Kaeya gets to see someone who is so Khaenri'ahn, so human at his core, someone who cares not for the fate and tragedy of their nation. Kaeya gets to meet someone from his homeland who tells him to leave it all behind, who tells him he should take the chance he has been given at his own life; who actively discourages the idea of Kaeya being a fated "prince" or being indebted to Khaenri'ah.
even though he never said it, I think meeting Dainsleif helped Kaeya choose his own path, which is all Dain ever truly asked of him, anyway.
good for Kaeya.
(i understand that i used "ship" tags but those are more for visibility and duo name than anything else. idm if you ship them, i just request that your tags do not turn my analysis post into a ship post, pls! :)
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netherfeildren · 2 months
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Austerlitz
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Pairing: Simon (Ghost) Riley x F!Reader
Summary: The day he left for his hideous war, the dream changed. The house was still there, but now neither of us lived in it anymore. And when he finally came back, if that’s what you could even call it, he was nothing but a Ghost. 
-OR-
Ghost goes away, comes back in a maybe dream.
Rating: Explicit 18+
Content Warnings: I know very little about COD so AU I guess; Heavy Angst; Unreliable Narrator; Is Ghost a ghost or a Man? Who tf knows; More feelings than fucking sorry about that; PWP; Rough Sex; Creampie; Grief Study; Mean Ghost; Size Difference; Complicated Relationships; Dom/sub Undertones
A/N: Wanted to post and then got pissed off and didn't want to post and then got pissed off that I was pissed off.
So anyways, here's my Ghost.
Word Count: 4.2K
Read on AO3
[AUSTERLITZ]
The first time my mother had the dream, it was our engagement. 
They were always the same—the dreams—the house, our home. Sometimes I was there, sometimes it was only him, but the house remained. Always the image of him inside that place that belonged to us. Even if I wasn’t all the time there. 
They went on for years, this idea living inside my mothers mind; different variations of our togetherness or not, parties, children, him, him, always him there. Once, he was even there with another woman, and amidst her sleep she knew it was wrong, that I should have been there but was not. It didn’t birth mistrust, that already lived between us in different ways regardless. It didn’t send me running home to him demanding answers, but it birthed fear. Fear of what could be lost—of what there was to lose. 
A lot, it turned out. 
It was like this fear that lived so painfully sentient within me, the fear of losing him, the fear of how much I loved him was so strong and so powerful and so pulsating that I'd given the infection of it to my own mother. She worried for me and for us the way I worried for him. 
And there was guilt then—for me, from me. I felt guilty, I felt like I was doing this to her, making my own mother afraid. Sending her these dreams with my own worrying mind of a perfect life that could have been so easily lost, of all my happiness and wants and desires of him and how easily it could have all been destroyed. 
The last time she dreamt of the house, months after he’d gone in my real waking life, the house was alone. Abandoned. Falling down on its own bones. A bad omen. And there was something so– I couldn’t say… but that was my confirmation, really, more than the years or the silence or the reports of missing, unknown, no answers or responses or clues to what could have happened, it was that dream of hers that told me it was all over in a real way. 
She said she’d walked through the dream house, and all the ghost memories had been there: him and I, an engagement, a marriage, a happiness, losses and family and life. But everything was falling down around the past, and it was all alone, and she knew in her heart that he was gone and that I was alone now. 
My real fear had gone to her dream fear had come back to my real life, and there was no true abandoned house, but there was an abandoned I. 
-
You’d begged—before he’d gone the last time, on your knees, hands clasped, tears—wrought. You’d begged, please, Simon—don’t go, please. Please, don’t leave me. You said last time was the last time. Please, don’t go again—I have the worst feeling about this one. He’d not listened. Chasing a mission, a tour, the salvation of the world or the loss of himself, not me, which was the only distinction that mattered. But he’d gone, and the bad feeling had swelled and swelled swollen until it’d burst. Until there was some uniform on your doorstep speaking words of missing in action, comms gone dead, Simon—maybe dead, maybe not, just gone. Unfindable, but come along with a sick sort of satisfaction that you’d been listed as his next of kin when he’d never even been able to tell you that he loved you. But these were the words now, said with tongue and teeth not belonging to him, not my wife but the woman I love, the woman that’s important to me, my kin.
Simon Riley, code name Ghost: missing in action. 
It’s been such a long time now, and you don’t know if that man you loved, love, is still alive or dead or missing or gone or just nothing. 
All he is—is not— 
—Here. And the before—it’d been complicated. Real and not real, hard, good, never easy. The complicated nature of a thing born from a complicated man such as he was. Occlusive, reclusive, reticent. But so good. So much, that it never really mattered if it was all growing pains, or just pain. How could you know? But when you were in the thick of it, it didn’t actually matter, that answer. It felt good, that was the only focus. Even when it didn’t. You loved him, that’s what mattered. He loved– war, being a ghost, fucking you, having you, maybe you. 
You’d had certainty in some ways, that he wanted you, that he was closed off and silent and serious, and that he’d come back because he always said he would, and he always did the things he said. That he was a creature of habit. But everything else—uncertain. 
Your mother hadn’t had the dream in years. Memory had become hard to reach, murky, but the sound of his voice, that remained. The only one that did, only because you held onto it with vapor fingers. And it was so clear, the baritone of it, the way it sounded when he was calling you his sweet girl, the way it sounded when he was telling you he was going or telling a lie. That had stayed no matter how far out to sea you’d tried to toss it. 
Your last conversation: don’t be a stranger, you’d said. And it was in jest, or desperation, you can’t remember anymore. Something like please, please, don’t go away forever, please, don’t turn into someone I don’t know anymore. 
There are things you remember very clearly. Others you’d been granted the mercy of forgetting—the way it felt when he slid inside you, no mercy there. 
How do I know if these are growing pains or just pain?
The memory of him is distorted now, preserved under glass, entirely untouchable; just there, and the stopping point is invisible, but it’s still just there. 
And you still love him because it’s impossible to let go of a ghost. A thing like that haunts you. 
You’d left the home you’d become a woman in, left your country and your mother, after he’d gone missing; found somewhere far and cold and nothingful, and it all reminded you of him in a way that let you know you’d never outrace this feeling. But you’d needed to run and disappear the way you told yourself he’d had to. That excuse, blame, you placed on him, Ghost, leaving that last time, despite the way you’d begged him to stay, please, Simon, don’t go. As if the idea of him just not wanting to be with you at all was more comforting than the reality of, well, he did, but just not more than he needed to chase his duty to violence. 
[When they’d come to tell me he was gone—but not really gone for sure—no one has died, they’d said, and I’d thought, just me, and violently. It was the last slap in the face, punch to the gut, fist down my throat and all the oxygen gone through a vacuum—stolen.]
Years: you’d lived with the vertigo of heartbreak, your whole life muffled. And you’d wanted to be alone with the enormity of your devastation and the Ghost shaped hole that’d been left in your body, so you’d come here, to this place you were in now, and you’d learned to be cunning like a fox, a cold that burned. You were not yourself anymore, something else, but something that didn’t hurt as much. A new version that fit that final dream image of an abandoned, forgotten home. 
You walk all the time now, through the Ždánice and along the wet meadows and towards nothing. In lieu of doing something else, now you walk. 
You find it on one such—it’s just like the dream—walk. Circles and circles around the Slavkovský rybník, back into the trees you go, and then it’s just there falling in on itself, eaten dead by the green overgrowth; the dream house. Your mother’s voice within your ear, I had a dream about the two of you, he’s yours, he was your husband, he was your fiancé, he was the love of your life, I had a dream about it all. There is a house. 
He’d liked to smoke, when he was stressed or angry or happy or sad or just. Cloves because he could be a jackass sometimes, like when he was buying cigarettes. You smoke them now too—a griefful jackass, even still. Obviously you’re trying to hold on without saying it out loud, like being kin. Tongue slick, sucking on the stick until it’s all gone, just a stub, and standing there in the waning gray light—the sun doesn't come out much now, it’s wonderful—you watch the house. 
You wonder if your mother sent it to you with her own missing. You wonder if he’ll be in there if you go inside. You feel like if you do, you’ll die in there, find something real bad, real real. 
When you’re done with the lie of the cloves, you exchange the butt for a leaf, feel the smooth, dry edges of it. Folding it slow and careful between your fingers, thinking, trying to follow the path of veins, trying to decide if this is the dream house or not, trying to decide if you’ll really die in there or not. There are no more sounds, there haven’t been in a long time, and so you can't tell if it’ll really matter or not. 
Recently, or years ago, you’d watched a video of a trio of swans doing battle, a rarity, the fact of three. They’d mauled each other, first two overtaking the third, and then the co-conspirators, turning their violence on each other. This is how you feel, at battle within yourself; your past, present, future, all fighting to leave you dead and bloodied, floating bloated in the water. 
Horrible thoughts. 
[We’re fighting a war on three fronts: me, him, fact.]
But there’s only dream here now. No Ghost. 
You decide on the house—walk inside. 
It’s only bones within, guts on display, covering ripped away. And very sad, very familiar. 
You pass through it slow and floating, not looking where one foot goes in front of the other. You’re inside your mother’s dream just like she’d seen it so many times, returned to the womb, and like she’d said: there’s your engagement, a rarity of happiness, glorious intimacy, possibility, there’s your Ghost. 
You’re not paying attention when your foot goes through the floorboards, to the knee first, jarringly painful, then the rest of your body gone through the rot. The only thing fizzing through your stupidly shocked mind is that you knew this would happen before you’re hip smashing, skull bashing ten feet down onto the basement floor. Cement ground, laying on your side and gasping like an eviscerated fish. The fist down your throat pulling all the oxygen out is back. 
And all you can think, as you lay there, only a wink before pain that knocks you into sleep, is—and really, get a fucking grip, get your priorities straight—I tried to fuck so many other men to wedge the memory of you out, bring the sounds back. I’ve tried other people and other tastes and other lives, and I can't. I can't. I want you so much, I miss you so bad. I dream of you, of the way you felt inside of me, of how wet I get for you even still, wet for a maybe dead man, and how much my cunt hurts because it is so wanting. How much it hurts to love a thing that’s gone and how the physical pain is almost as bad as the one in the heart.
And then an ice blue, cold that burns. “Wake up, darling.” He’s always had the bluest eyes that’ve ever been. 
“Ghost?”
“Simon.”
The jut of his chin, it’s the same. The one you missed. You come awake or alive. “Simon, you’re not really here. How did you find me?” Your body doesn’t hurt the way it should. 
“Been lookin’ for you,” he says, runs his big thumb up the curve of your cheekbone, and you turn your face into his hand almost involuntarily. He even smells like a ghost, and you can’t remember if you actually ever even fell or not. 
“Ghost?” You ask again—confused, full of sleep and someone else's dream.
But he shakes his head slow, and you can’t see his mouth behind the mask, but you see the smile in his eyes, joy above the skull. “No, baby. Simon,” he says again. 
“You were looking for me?” His hand moves into your hair, cupping the small bowl of your skull in the big pool of his palm, the other coming to your neck, thumb at your pulse, just to feel, just to hum along to it. 
“I was.” His accent is different, and you can’t hear sounds anymore, but this sound is different—you can tell. 
“Where’ve you been?”
“Told ya—lookin’ for you.” Jut of your chin propped against the jut of his palm, pads of his fingers against the ledge of your orbital bone. He presses soft, probes gentle, lets himself be tickled by the fan of your lashes. 
You close your eyes and tell the truth, “I wish you wouldn’t. I might hate you now. I wish you’d let me go. It’s been such a long time.”
“I know, baby.” But he doesn’t know, not really, not how bad.
You’re laying on something soft, no more hard basement you can’t really remember, and you let yourself slump into it while he touches your face. “I can’t believe I’m still here,” basement or with him or someone else's dream, you can’t tell which you mean. “I can’t believe I'm still here all these years later. You’re like a ghost.”
He agrees, “I am a ghost,” and contradicts himself. 
You open your eyes again, swallow the blue. “I thought you said you weren’t.” No answer—but he hunches over you, large and brutish and falsely undiscerning, without any answers ever. “You’re not a ghost. You’re a real man, and you have to stop haunting me.”
“Not haunting, only looking.” He bends, reveals his mouth, kisses you for the first time since he’d gone, and it’s the same as before, but not. Always a beautiful, hidden mouth that he’d had. 
There is nothing that Simon Riley does that is gentle, even when he is being gentle. 
It’s always with a punch behind it, always with a scream behind it. Always with the certainty that he does not know how to be gentle, but that he’ll try to be so anyway. If only for you.
He tastes like cloves and ghosts. Lips warm, dry and smooth, tongue slick and demanding. He presses his big thumb bone between your molars, pries your jaw open so you’re mimicking the dying fish again and licks inside of you.
Ah—so this is how it’ll be, you think, mean.
The inside of your cheeks pinch hard enough between his grip and your teeth that you’re sure the mouthful of come he’ll be giving you soon’ll be seasoned with blood. You moan into him, take his breath on your tongue, the dream flips and switches in your mind. Rolodex of memories and unrealities. Where have you been? You ask again because the demand feels necessary, the answer, life-hinging. 
He shoves you belly back, tells you, “Sometimes you talk too fuckin’ much,” and swings one tree trunk thigh over your middle so he’s straddling you, caging you, crushing you. A fist twisted in your hair so he can pull and handle you as he pleases. “Open your mouth,” so that he can lick inside again, taste you again. “It’s all just the same,” he whispers, and you can’t tell what he means. Doesn’t he see you’re the fox in the marsh now, cold enough to burn? Nothing’s the same since he went away. 
You try and scratch at him, shove the behemoth away, mountain versus the moth, yank him closer—too. You bite his tongue, and then it isn’t only your own blood in your mouth, but his too. It only feeds him more. When he lets his weight fall heavier on your belly, ribs compressed, you feel the ridge of his hard cock. 
You couldn’t ever keep him, but you could always make him hard. 
“Ghost.”
“Not a ghost.” He tells lies now. 
“It’s not all the same,” you gasp when he comes up from the well, hand at your tit, hard and punishing. “Can’t you tell?” And you say it angry or affronted. “How can you look at me and not tell? How can you look at me and not care?” About what you’ve done to me, is what you don’t say. 
This makes him pause, even as he mauls you, and the blue is not ice but not warmth either. Jagged, perhaps, even though it always is a little bit so, but punctuated in a different way. Only discerning now, nothing un– about it. 
“How can you look at me and think I don’t?” His words have teeth, and you want him to chew you up and spit you out. Maybe then he’ll recognize you better. 
“You’re always going to choose something else over me,”—an accusation. “Because I wanted you to come back so badly,”—an explanation. You don’t remind him how he didn’t, and he doesn’t say that he wanted to. But he’s here, and maybe that’s all that matters, maybe it’s enough for you to let him slip his fingers up beneath your shirt, nipple punished between his thumb and index, mean and nasty. Other hand down the front of your jeans, sliping against your wet, fingering your cunt.
He doesn’t work hard at making space for himself in your too tight hole, merely tugs your pants down to your knees, tangled and trapped in him the way you’d always been, and with a hand on his cheek you find purchase to turn yourself over, shoving at his jaw roughly as you go. “No—like this. Like this,” you demand, belly down, ass up. “I don’t want to look at you when we do it. I don’t want to do it looking at your face,” you tell him even though you do love him. 
He’s quiet for one victorious second, big hands wrapped around your hips, fingers flexing, swallowing it. “Are you trying to hurt me?”
“Yes.” He shifts, hooks you over his arm across your belly, hips up, cunt presented, swollen, needy sex like a wound. “Is it working?”
You listen to the drag of his zipper, the shift of his clothes. You close your eyes, enjoy the return of sound.
“Always.” And then it’s the warm, blunt press of a cock that’s going to hurt, and you feel very calm, entirely hungry. The pain in your cunt will be the kind you’d ask for in a few seconds; he notches, swipes, presses mean again at your clit. 
“Let’s not pretend we’re something we’re not—you’re not—real.” And when he wedges himself into your too-long-untried cunt, it hurts. It hurts in a real way. Like he’d rip you in half and not care if he could. Hurts in a mean way. 
He starts off hard, unforgiving, like he’s taking the pound of flesh he feels he’s owed for being made into a Ghost right here, fucking you on the dirty, cold floor. 
Hunched over you, bulging arms braced around your head, wrist clasped in a death grip, breath in your ear, and he fucks you like an animal. A groan and a spit, and he’s telling you, “You’re so fucking good, best cunt in the whole goddamn world.” The wet squelch, the splash, splash, the moan like a whore agrees with him. 
“It always hurts,” you tell him, whispered between a sob for more or harder. 
“You like it,” and it’s a pant ending of a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth where a tear rests. Something gentle to remind you that even as a monster, he’d never hurt you in a way that couldn’t be turned back. Maybe. 
“What if I don’t anymore?”
He swings his hips back, cunt dragging, when he pushes in again it’s to batter against your womb. “Don’t you?”
“Don’t stop,” is all you can say. You press your hips back, spread your knees as far as your tangled jeans will let you, back arched like you need it more than you can even say. Bent and pummeled to defy nature or some such other thing, and his balls slap heavy and stinging against your clit, cockhead at your womb again, again. 
“Come on my cock, be a good girl.” Like he knows you’re just there already, pulsing and throbbing and ready to soak him, wet cheek fucked raw against the ground with every one of his pounding thrusts. His fist is so tight in your hair, around your wrist, it burns almost worse than your knees against the old wood, hand gone to numbness. 
But it’s so hard to give someone so much when they never give anything in return, and it pains you to do it now. Your stomach pulls tight, heat all swirling in your pelvis. “You’re never good for me,” you moan, cunt twisting into a knot. And then you come, fluttering around his pouding length, the slap of his thighs against your ass. He shoves your shirt up so that your breasts are naked to the cold air, fingers digging too hard to be for anything other than his own vindication. It makes you come harder, cry harder. 
And then like a switch, soldier on display, he flips, goes slow and soft and languid. Long deep thrusts, pressing your belly down into the ground and stretching out on top of you—longer than a river, broader too, similarly overpowering. His whole too heavy weight pressing all the air out of you, prone and caged and power stolen. He slams into you, but it’s slow and punctuated and precise now. Tip at the front of your cunt so that you know exactly what it is he wants from you, another one. 
“Do you ever wish I was a better man?” He asks between thrusts.
You can’t lie. Look at you—fucked and frozen. “No.” The hurt hurts good, you like it like this. You like that he’s a Ghost. 
He kisses your mouth now, gives you his tongue to taste. Cloves and you love him so much and it seems so unfair that it be so short, the love, when the forgetting is so long. 
“Can you tell me that you don’t love me?” It’s a begging, it is. “That you never did—so that I can forget.” He pulses and throbs inside of you, thrusts get harder. He’s about to fill you full of come. “So that I can move on. Force me, please.”
He presses his mouth to yours again and with teeth, the bunch of his mask suffocating you. “Can’t lie to you, darling. I never could,” —not the lie you want.
And you should’ve expected it, he’s never been the merciful sort. When you beg please, please, you’re not sure if you’re asking for more of his come, for harder, for mercy, for the lie. Like so many other things now, it doesn’t really matter. He sends you into another orgasm, and he’s lazy about letting you milk him. Mouth slick against your own, breath panting hot against your cheeks, white blond lashes, too long and too pretty for such a beast, tangling with your own. 
He lets it be slow. He lets it last. 
And one more time is better than a last time—the once more negates the lastness of it. Now, it only exists in perpetuity. This is the lie you’ll tell yourself as he throbs and spurts once more, whispers your name into the shell of your ear, asks for his back. I got one more time. I got one more time. Now it all lives on forever, Simon. Now the house is no longer abandoned. Now we’ll exist here in this memory like so, forever. 
He’s gone when you open your eyes again, sleep or unconsciousness, maybe he never was. And as you right yourself, your clothes and the thick leak from the overwrought place between your legs—no, he was, or was he?—your body doesn’t hurt as it should, only cunt-sore, looking at the dark you shaped hole in the floorboards next to you. You can't tell if the hurt now comes from the want or the truth, sound is gone again. 
Outside, there’s snow on the ground. When you look up, it’s falling from the sky, against the surface of the pond, lost to the dark. A celebration happens somewhere, across the distance, in the town, you don’t know for what—or can’t remember. There are fireworks in the sky mixing with the ice.
You realize, or you think, or you hear someone say—does it really matter, it comes off the wind or the trees—a reminder that you’d come here to mourn something. To this place you lived in now. To the dream house.
[I’m mourning all the things that happened to me. I’m mourning the way I’ve been, the way I was. It was terrible, I hated how I’d been, but I still have to grieve her. I have to not hate that poor girl I used to be.]
The barium, copper lights go off and off and off, and it’s bombs dropping, pyrokinetic shelling, your life imploding, the end of everything. Him—a ghost. 
Once there was only dark. If you ask me, the light’s winning—now.
Netherfeildren's Masterlist
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attyattlaw · 4 months
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cross posting yesterday's rambling thread for posterity and because tumblr lets me edit things. anyway this is a sorta long thing and i might add things i forgot to mention in the twt thread
i tend to draw on-model canon because im a coward + just personal preferences. but the way i convert the canon designs into my artstyle is that i take the distinct features oda gives them and then combine it with personal headcanons to complete what should look like a unique human. Starting with Trafalgar Law, who is unfortunately a bland-ass conventionally pretty boy
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someone commented a while ago the law hat drawing tutorial i made a while ago didn't make much sense and i realize its bc of the specific way i draw law's face: heart shaped (ba-dum-tss). That meaning, a narrow chin widening into a mild defined jaw, wide cheekbones, and up to his know-it-all brain dome.
given that, the pudgy guitar pick shape of his head i mentioned here should make a lot more sense.
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i don't think this design point is unique to me, as most conventional pretty anime boy gets given jaws like this. a lot of law artists tend to veer into this head shape. just how life be sometimes. other points: flat, thick eyebrows is bc im a hairy gal and i need to feel better about myself.
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Killer gets to be more interesting, because he shouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. my idea behind killer's is that those individual features is smth he would be insecure with enough to hide himself in a helmet but i draw him with all the love in the world actually. i'd like to think its how kid sees him or yknow, law, bc he's my kin assigned blorbo and maybe you ship lawkill as a guilty pleasure too i mentioned before (and ruined people's days) when i said whenever i draw killer he looks like griffith before i put on his goatee. the upper half of his face is distinctly feminine, with the lower half kinda over compensating. other than that uhh...idk. stan killer
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Kidd is the bane of my existence, i feel like i can never draw his face consistently. yet at the same time he's so damn fun to draw everyone gotta try it.
my problem with kidd is that this mf does have eyelids. most kidd painters out there interpret this as him having deep set eyes (think Matt Smith or jeffrey star) . and yeh skill issue on me i should practice that. other notes, i try to make him younger than canon makes him look. he is my babygirl and he deserves to look cuddly. my band au kidd version has the honor of being allowed some chubs. he's just tries to look older and more menacing with edgy makeup. also i try to give him dimples when i can because, well i can.
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Rosinante last bc i lost steam after kidd. the thing abt cora is that aside from not having eyebrows, everything is structured with the generic one piece man template. which means i gotta do everything myself doffy is there bc the way to figure out how to draw these two is to give them minor differences from each other, that being doffy gets slightly sharper features. in canon, these two are also rly wide boys (more of an oda style feat tbh) but i make them long. though bigger brained donquixote artists know that of these two brothers, doffy should be the wiry-er built. anyway that's it. in conclusion, i need to draw more girls actually i feel like im becoming misogynistic by osmosis from oda's style and now i draw girls all looking the same too.
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genshinluvr · 1 year
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A Star from Another Universe
Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader/Idol!Reader
Summary: What if Alice found you when you first arrived in Teyvat? Alice nursed you back to health, and you stayed with her until you healed. One day, Alice goes up to you while you're babysitting Klee and asks you what your thoughts are on becoming an idol.
Note: I have been having so many random AUs recently that I need to get it out of my head. This is Idol!reader AU for the ongoing Isekai'd!reader one-shot series! :> This entire story is what I have had on my mind for a while, and I honestly don't mind making a "small" headcanon on what kind of fans the men are. Since there are almost thirty people in the harem. Anyway! I hope all Al Haitham wanters are Al Haitham havers! :> I was able to get him on my NA account and my Asia account ^^ Keep in mind that I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).
Warnings: None that I know of 🤔
Word Count: 8.7k
The day you appeared mysteriously in Teyvat, a woman took you under her wing to nurse you back to your healthy state. The woman went by the name Alice; she was a sweet woman who mothered you as if you were her own child. Alice is not only charming, but there’s something about her that makes her feel so powerful, almost intimidating.
You’re not from Teyvat or their universe; you’re an outlander, but you’re not like the two blonde outlander twins searching for their kin. You’re an outlander whose existence does not belong in their universe; you just mysteriously appeared in their world without an explanation. Not even Alice can figure out what brought you to Teyvat.
A few weeks after the injuries you sustained from being thrown into Teyvat had healed, Alice approaches you one day while you’re outside playing with Klee. Today is the second time you’re tasked to babysit Klee while Alice is out and about tending to her business; you nearly got bombed with the fishes in the lake. It was not fun, but Klee made it up to you by giving you a small dodoco plush similar to the one hanging off her backpack.
“[Y/N], sweetheart, how are you feeling today?” Alice asks, walking up to you while Klee is chasing a crystal fly five feet away from you two. 
You give Alice a smile and wave at the woman. “I’m doing great! The concoction you have given me for my injuries has helped me greatly. I really appreciate it, Alice,” you said sincerely. 
Alice pulls you into her arms and rubs your back. “That’s great to hear, sweetheart,” Alice coos.
You hug Alice back, and the two of you pull away from the hug. You hear Klee scream with joy;  you turn to look, only to see Klee jumping up and down in the air while cheering that she finally caught a crystal fly. Klee looks over at you and Alice; her eyes light up before making her way toward you and Alice.
“Look what I got!” Klee squeals, holding her hand out to show you and her mother the anemo crystal fly in the palm of her hands. “Isn’t it pretty?” Klee asks in awe. 
Her eyes fill with wonder as she watches the crystal fly flutter out of her hands. Klee pouts and turns around, running off to catch another crystal fly. You look at Alice and notice her looking at you from head to toe, her chin propped up on her fist, head tilting to the side.
“Is there anything I can help you with, Alice?” You ask, laughing nervously. 
Alice purses her lips and squints at you. “What do you think about becoming an idol?” Alice asks.
Your eyes widen. “An idol?! Like, singing and dancing in front of a large audience?” You squeak.
Alice nods. “That is correct! What do you think about being an idol? I think you have the potential to be a worldwide idol,” Alice says.
She turns you around, continuing to look at you from head to toe. You have no idea how it’s going to work out. You being an idol while you’re from another universe? Would the fans and critics even care about your origins and background? There’s no way you can be an idol in Teyvat— no way at all.
After that day and the conversation between you and Alice, you find yourself sitting on a chair backstage. You look at your reflection in the mirror while the stylists are getting you ready for your performance. It’s been a year since the conversation between you and Alice, and now you’re an idol.
It’s strange and sudden; it feels like a blur, and everything around you has changed so much and so fast that you end up getting whiplash from it all. You lean back in your seat and close your eyes, letting the makeup artist apply sparkly eyeshadow on your eyelids, putting small gemstones at the corner of your eyes. Alice insisted you become an idol so you can thrive in Teyvat. When she told you that, you knew she was telling you to get off your ass and get a job. You don’t mind getting a job in Teyvat, but getting a career as an idol? That is something you would never imagine yourself being. 
“How much time do you guys need before [Y/N] goes up on stage to perform again?” The security asks, peeking into your dressing room.
“Give us five more minutes, and we’ll have [Y/N] out on stage soon,” Emilia, your makeup artist, says, dabbing a little bit of foundation on your face. 
You didn’t expect much when you first started as an idol. You had low expectations for yourself because why would anyone be a fan of an idol that did not belong in their universe? Especially when you don’t know what region they’re from; many have speculated that you’re from one of the seven nations in Teyvat, but all continued to be speculations and have never been confirmed nor denied. 
Your existence and general background are shrouded in mystery. That’s what made you appealing to your audience; your fans. Despite being a charming and appealing idol, you’re still mysterious, and that’s what the fans love about you. You have a lot of fans, even more than you expected. You expected to have around fifteen fans, but you were wrong. Your popularity is booming, and it excites Alice (she is also your agent). She has booked you many interviews and TV shows (she also wants you to have a background in acting) and booked as many performances as possible to get your name out in Teyvat.
Within two months of your debut as an idol from another universe (that is what you’re known for), your face is all over magazines, billboards, posters, and advertisements and many people know your name and music. Who doesn’t know you and your music? Even adeptis and archons from seven nations know your existence and music— perhaps even Celestial gods know of your existence, but you don’t know that. You’re living the luscious life, showered in attention, Mora, precious gems, and expensive fabrics. 
“I wonder if there are people that claim to be my biggest fan,” you mutter.
Emilia places her makeup brush down on the table and looks at you curiously. “I’m sure there are people that do! My niece says that she’s the biggest [Y/N] fan,” Emilia replies, smiling at you.
You crack your eyes open and look at Emilia with interest. “Is that so? Has she been to one of my concerts before?” You ask.
You look at your reflection in the mirror and stand up. You fix and adjust your stage outfit. Each set of your performance has specific clothing made for the set performance. One of your favorite outfits out of all the things you have worn to perform is usually the one that is saved for last. It’s silver and white; you have tinsels in your hair, and the gem in the corner of your eyes would sparkle each time you winked (not really, it was the lighting that made them glimmer). 
Emilia nods her head, smiling widely. “She’s currently in the crowd with her mother and father. They’re really excited to watch you perform,” said Emilia. 
“Well, I am excited to perform for your niece and her parents,” you said. “I’m ready for my performance now. I’ve been keeping them waiting for way too long,” you brush your hair over your shoulders and turn to Emilia.
Emilia nods her head and watches you leave the dressing room. You’re guided to the lower part of the stage behind the curtains. You’re instructed to stand in the center of the stage trapdoor and were handed the microphone. You can hear loud cheers, screams, and excited chatter from the audience. No matter how many times you have performed, you will always be nervous about how the performance is going to turn out. 
“Good luck! You’re going to do great!” Alice squeezes your arms with an encouraging smile.
You let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Alice,” you breathe. 
Itto and Gorou shove their way through the crowd of roaring fans; Itto has a large sign in his hands while Gorou is holding onto glowsticks. Gorou mutters a soft “excuse me,” “pardon me,” as he and Itto weave through sweaty people. Once both Itto and Gorou have gotten to the front of the row, Itto sees how close they are to the stage. On the front row in front of the stage, aside from Itto and Gorou, were twenty-three other men standing in front of the stage barrier, waiting for the performance to start. 
“[Y/N]’s number one fan? Psh! I doubt it,” Itto hears someone scoff. 
Itto turns to the man beside him and sees a ginger-haired Snezhnayan man, also holding up a sign with your name plastered on it. Itto raises his eyebrows at the Snezhnayan man and looks over at the dark brown-haired man beside the ginger. 
“Childe, please refrain yourself from starting fights at a concert,” Zhongli mutters, glaring over at the man beside him.
“Yeah, Childe. Why are you upset to see me, [Y/N]’s number one fan, coming out here to support them?” Itto asks, glaring at the ginger-haired male.
Gorou laughs nervously and taps Itto on the shoulders. “Itto, I don’t think we should be getting into fights either. Not only will that get us kicked out, but people around us can also get injured,” Gorou explains.
Childe laughs. “If you’re [Y/N]’s number one fan, then how come you weren’t in the first row throughout the entire performance? This is the first time I have seen you in the first row,” Childe raises his eyebrows at the oni.
Itto narrows his eyes at Childe and eyes Childe from head to toe. Childe has a bandana wrapped around his forehead with your name in the center. A sign in Childe’s grasp has the words, “❤❤ PLEASE MARRY ME [Y/N] ❤❤” written in capitalization in colorful markers. Hearts are scattered around on the white sign, glitter lining the borders of the sign, and your name is big and bold in gold. Itto lets out a scoff, a smirk appearing on his face.
“How desperate and pathetic,” Itto thinks to himself. 
Itto turns to look at the stage, watching people prepare for the next performance. Diluc peeks from Kaeya’s shoulders and rolls his eyes when he sees Itto and Childe’s signs. It’s almost laughable in a way, but Diluc shouldn’t be the one to judge since he, himself, has a sign as well. 
“Archons, how did we get stuck near those two idiots?” Diluc mutters, rolling his eyes.
Kaeya snickers. “Relax, brother. They won’t start anything other than an argument. We’ve seen them argue on public forms before; it’s normal at this point,” Kaeya says.
“They also snuck their way into the first row. Apparently, Itto weaved his way through the crowd to get in front of the stage barrier,” Albedo says casually, looking at the stage designs and stage lights.
Venti taps Albedo on the shoulders. “Don’t you know [Y/N]’s agent? If so, can you get us all backstage passes to meet the [Y/N]?” Venti asks eagerly. 
“I thought we’re already going to meet [Y/N]? Didn’t the front-row tickets get us the chance to have a meet-and-greet with [Y/N]?” Aether asks, unscrewing his water bottle and taking a sip of his water.
“Last time I checked, it says guaranteed. Therefore, we are going to meet [Y/N] backstage after the concert,” Dainsleif says, resting his arm on the steel stage barrier. 
“Why after the concert? We’re all going to be smelling like each other’s body odor while sweating at the same time,” Scaramouche grumbles, glaring at the person that accidentally brushed up against him.
“To be honest, I would rather meet [Y/N] after the concert than before the concert because they’ll remember us when they go home,” Heizou says, shrugging his shoulders.
“But we’re going to be sweaty when we meet them,” Tighnari sighs in discontentment, scratching his ears with irritation.
“Hey, we’ll be meeting them after their performance. I’m pretty sure they’re going to be just as sweaty as we are, if not, maybe sweater than us because they’re the one that’s performing,” Thoma shrugs his shoulders, leaning against the steel barrier while waving the glowstick in the air subconsciously. 
The lights in the stadium soon dim, causing everyone in the stadium to quiet down. Kazuha taps on Xiao’s shoulders, motioning for him to crack the glowstick for it to illuminate. Xiao searches around on his person for the glowstick, only to realize that he had dropped it somewhere while getting seated in the stadium. 
“I seem to have lost it,” Xiao mutters, his eyebrows furrowing while his hands continue to roam around his body, searching for the glowstick.
Kazuha gives Xiao a sympathetic smile. “That’s okay, Xiao! I have a spare glowstick,” Kazuha says, handing Xiao the uncracked glowstick. 
A faint smile appears on Xiao’s face as he takes the glowstick from Kazuha’s grasp, quietly thanking the samurai shyly. Xiao cracks the glowstick, and it immediately lights up. The sound of footsteps echos the quiet stadium, and the stage lights shine down on a white box. The crowd stares at the box with anticipation and sees your silhouette rising in the box.
Loud cheers and screams erupt from the audience, colorful stage lights come on, the box you’re in is suddenly knocked down, and you step out onto the stage. 
“They’re even prettier in person,” Kaveh whispers to himself, covering his mouth as he watches you start the performance for over one hundred thousand attendees.
“They’re very mesmerizing,” Baizhu says in awe, not taking his eyes off of you.
Al Haitham watches you dance and sing on stage. The way the light shines down on you, trails after your movement, confetti flying in the air and raining down on you and the audience is a sight to see. Your face is on the big screen; you make eye contact with the kamera man and send a wink to the kamera, the gem at the corner of your eyes sparkling. 
“Not only are their performances flawless and beautiful, but they are as well,” Al Haitham says, crossing his arms over his chest.
Cyno chuckles beside Al Haitham. “That’s why they’re known as the world-class performer, Al Haitham,” Cyno replies.
With the music blaring, and the audience screaming for your attention each time you walk by them, the men doubt the others would be able to hear them voicing out their thoughts. Every time you walk by the front row close to the men, they would scream as loud as they can and wave their signs, trying to get your attention. Your eyes will sweep over the VIP section of the stadium, smiling and waving at the section. Your music is blasting in the background; you have earplugs in your ears; your stage outfit looks immaculate, and your hair and makeup are flawless as usual. 
Wanting to grab your attention, Pantalone pulls out a generous-sized bag of Mora and tosses it on the stage. The bag of Mora lands beside your feet, lightly tapping your foot. You look down at the bag of Mora with wide eyes. You squat down, grab the bag and examine it with wide eyes of disbelief. You look up, searching around for the owner of the bag of Mora. 
Pantalone waves his glowstick around, desperately trying to get your attention. You and Pantalone make eye contact; the minute your eyes meet, Pantalone feels his heart race against his chest, heat rushing to his cheeks to the point where his face feels hot under your gaze. You slowly stand and walk towards the section where he’s standing. Seeing you approach their section, the twenty-four other men start to crowd around Pantalone, resulting in him getting pinned against the steel stage barrier. 
“Hey, stop pushing, you buffoon!” Dottore hisses, glaring at the men who are desperately trying to get your attention the closer you get to their section.
You walk down the step on the side of the stage with the help of security. You thank the guard and approach the men who are almost breaking through the stage barriers. You stop in front of them and hold the bag of Mora up for them to see.
“Who does this belong to?” You ask into the microphone.
You would ask them without the microphone, but with the screams and number of people hollering your name, reaching out to you to grab your attention (or to even touch you), it was hard to ask them personally. 
“It belongs to me, but you can keep it,” Pantalone says, sending a wink in your direction with a charming smile on his face. 
While the smile on Pantalone’s face looks like a charming smile, Pantalone is trying his best not to show the pain on his face. After all, he’s being pinned against a steel stage barrier by most of the VIP section. Maybe throwing a bag of Mora on stage to grab your attention wasn’t the best idea he had in mind. 
“Keep it? I can’t simply keep someone’s bag of Mora!” You look at Pantalone with wide eyes.
“Hey, if Pantalone says you can keep it, keep it. He already has too many Mora,” Capitano says nonchalantly, smiling underneath his helmet. 
You smile at them sheepishly and shake your head. “No, no, no, it’s fine, really!” You said.
You gesture for Pantalone to hold his hand out. Pantalone complies and holds his right hand out in front of him. You place the bag of Mora on his hand, grabbing his fingers and wrapping them around the bag of Mora.
“There!” You said, smiling up at Pantalone, who looked at you with wide eyes, his cheeks bright red. 
You slowly release Pantalone’s hands and smile at him. Pantalone gulps and nods shyly, pocketing his bag of Mora.
“Lucky bastard,” Pantalone hears Pierro mutters jokingly. 
“[Y/N]! [Y/N]! I love you so much!! Please marry me!” Childe screams at the top of his lungs, his voice cracking halfway through the sentence.
You hear someone angrily protest, pushing the ginger man away and shoving the sign in front of you. “Don’t listen to him, my love! I’m your biggest fan, and I am more worthy of your love than this idiot!” Itto screams.
“Please notice me, [Y/N]! I collect every single one of your albums!” Aether screams from behind Itto, trying to shove his way toward you.
“Ignore these idiots; I’m your biggest fan and your most loyal fan! These buffoons are nowhere near my level!” Scaramouche hollers, hovering above you and the men below him.
You crane your head up to look at Scaramouche, who smiles down at you and caresses your face in his hands. Out of spite, Xiao smacks Scaramouche’s hands away from your face with a scowl on his face. You chuckle at them and shake your head.
“I’m assuming you,” you gestured to the twenty-five men in front of you, “are the ones I’ll be meeting backstage after the concert?” You ask, raising your eyebrows at them.
The twenty-five men nod their heads, cheeks flustered. They can’t believe it! You’re talking to them! You know that they exist in your world! They’re breathing the same air as you are and are face-to-face with each other! As much as they wanted to keep their cool, seeing you, their biggest idol and celebrity crush, in person is a whole new experience.
You smile at them. “Well, I look forward to meeting all of you after the concert! The security guards will be guiding you all backstage for the meet and greet,” you said.
In a trance, the men nod their heads, watching you walk back up the stage. Fans are tossing stuffed animals and flowers on stage, trying to get your attention after seeing what Pantalone has done. You chuckle and shake your head, looking over in the men’s direction.
“Oh my gosh, they just looked at us,” Heizou gasps, shaking the person beside him while refusing to take his eyes off you.
“We’re the luckiest fans out of everyone in the stadium; it’s official,” Venti says, crossing his arms over his chest with a big smile on his face.
When the concert is coming to an end, you stand in the middle of the stage and sigh sadly. After this concert, you’re not sure when the next show will be. This performance was the final concert of the tour all over Teyvat, and you did not want the moment to end. You have been touring all over Teyvat to perform in seven different regions. The final concert is held at a huge stadium that is built specifically for your concert alone. That stadium is located on an island outside of Mondstadt and Liyue but a few minutes out of Inazuma.
Because the concert is the final show of the current tour, many people from all over Teyvat traveled to this island just to see you perform. Even if it’s for one night, people are willing to travel far to see you perform your last concert until your next tour, which hasn’t been in the talks yet. The only thing your fans know, so far, is that you’re going to be releasing a new album soon and that you’re going to be making appearances on many shows.
“I don’t want this concert to end,” you sigh sadly into the microphone, sitting in the center of the stage. “I don’t want the fun to end, nor do I want to see you all leave,” you frown.
Loud cries and whines echo throughout the stadium, the fans expressing the same emotions as you. They didn’t want the concert to end and didn’t want to see you go down in the stage trapdoor, leaving them for who knows how long.  
“I’ll be back soon, I promise,” You reassure the audience with a small smile, “I’m releasing a new album soon. Will you all listen to the new songs when they’re released?”
The audience screams, making you laugh and slowly stand up. You stretch your arms and sigh, walking over to the wooden stool, picking up a towel, and wiping your sweat. You have been performing for almost two hours, and now it’s time for you to wrap up the concert. You have a fan meet to do after, and you want to freshen up a little bit before meeting your VIP fans. 
You said your goodbye while standing on the stage trapdoor, waving to the fans as the platform below you descended. You’re ushered to the dressing room to freshen up for the meet and greet with the twenty-five VIP fans you have spoken to before the concert ends. Emilia fixes your makeup while Yue restyles your hair, making sure the flyaway hairs and your baby hairs are flat on your head and not all over the place.
“You’re phenomenal, as always,” Emilia says, lightly squeezing your shoulders.
You smile at Emilia. “Thank you, Emilia. What do your niece and her parents think of the concert?” You ask, closing your eyes and letting Emilia lightly brush your under-eye with powder.
“They enjoyed your concert as usual,” Emilia grins.
You smile and press your lips into a thin line, trying your best to remain still while Emilia fixes your makeup to make you look put together. The concert is successful, as always. You’re glad that nothing went haywire on the last show.
“Are you excited to meet your fans? I saw you interacting with them before the concert ended,” Yue murmurs, putting more tinsel in your hair and brushing your hair. 
You chuckle and nod your head, cracking your eyes open to look at Yue and Emilia. “I’m pretty excited to meet them! It’s nice chatting with them towards the end of the concert, but with everything going on, it was hard to hear what they’re saying,” you reply. 
“Too many people trying to interact with you at once, or was it something else?” Yue asks.
You hum and lean back in the chair, reaching for the hand fan to fan yourself. You purse your lips and think for a moment. 
“Yes, that would be one of the reasons. They were all piling up against this black-haired man with glasses, practically squishing him against the stage barrier,” you chuckle. “I feel bad for that happening, and I’m hoping to interact with all of them without any of them getting hurt or squished by the other,” you add. 
“I don’t know, [Y/N]. Your fanboys…. They have familiar faces,” Emilia chuckles, applying lip balm on your lips. “A few of them are Fatui Harbingers, and others are diplomats or archons! Overall, these men are important figures of some sort,” Emilia says, gazing at you with wide eyes.
“Important figures as [Y/N]’s biggest fanboys!? Wow! You’re truly amazing, [Y/N]!” Yue squeals, jumping behind you with glee. “Would you, perhaps, date any of them?” Yue teases, wiggling her eyebrows at you cheekily. 
You feel your face heat up at Yue’s question. You? Dating a fan? Does she not realize how scandalous that is? You turn to Yue and lightly bat at her arm. 
“Yue! Me dating a fan is scandalous! Do you know how upset people will be if I start dating a fan of mine?” You ask, looking at the Liyuen woman with wide eyes.
Yue pouts and crosses her arms over her chest. “Oh, come on, [Y/N]! You can’t be single forever! Plus, there are not many famous male idols in Teyvat. You usually see women that are given this sort of attention compared to the men,” Yue says.
You purse your lips and shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know, Yue. I don’t think about dating much because of how busy I am with my career as an idol. Not only that, but I don’t want my significant other to deal with hate and tabloids,” you sigh, tilting your head back and closing your eyes.
Emilia pats your head. “That’s fair, but you can’t be single forever. Especially when you have attractive fanboys,” Emilia jokes, poking you in the ribs lightly. 
“How can you see their faces clearly when colorful lights were strobing in the stadium?” You ask.
“We ran into your fanboys before the concert began. You weren’t at the stadium yet. You were on your way here, and these men were searching around for a restroom, and maybe they were hoping to run into you, but they ran into us instead,” Yue explains, snickering to herself. 
You chuckle and shake your head. The more you think about the fanboys you interact with during the concert, the more you become intrigued with them. Not going to lie; you’re kind of nervous about meeting them backstage. While they admire you and the things you do, you hope that the interaction wouldn’t make them like you any less. 
To put it into perspective, you’re not much of a social person, and having to interact with almost thirty people after a huge performance is a bit nerve-wracking. Ironic, right? You performed in front of thousands of people, and yet you find interacting with twenty-ish people personally is more intimidating than performing in front of thousands of people. Maybe it’s because of your past interaction with a celebrity, but you don’t want your fanboys to be disappointed to see that you’re not the perfect idol they see on billboards, posters, TV shows, album covers, and magazines.
“And we’re done!” You hear Emilia say.
You blink and realize that Emilia and Yue are finished helping you freshen up. You get up from your seat and stretch your arms in the air, groaning. After this meet and greet, you’re going straight to the showers, and you’re going to take a nap right after. 
“So, do I just wait here while the security guards assist the VIP fans to the meet and greet room?” You ask, grabbing the water bottle from the vanity.
Yue shrugs her shoulders. “You’ve been in the dressing room for a while. I’m pretty sure your fanboys are already in the meet-and-greet room,” Yue says, packing up the tools and cleaning the station around her.
“Aw man, I hope I didn’t keep them waiting for too long,” you mutter.
You quickly bid the two women goodbyes before walking out of the dressing room. When you step out of the dressing room, you see Alice and a security guard waiting for you outside of the dressing room. You give the two a brief smile before letting them know that you’re ready to meet the VIP fans.
While you, Alice, and the security guards were on your way to the room where the meet and greet was being held, the room was filled with chatter. Very loud conversations from your twenty-five fanboys.
“Take that off. You look ridiculous!” Diluc sighs, shaking his head at Kaeya.
Kaeya snorts. “Oh, please, brother. You’re wearing the same shirt as I am. Although, white doesn’t suit you at all,” Kaeya says, looking down at the shirt Diluc is wearing.
“Who designed all of [Y/N] concert merchandise? I want to speak to them and give them some advice on how to properly design merchandise without making it look tacky,” Ayato says, holding your concert t-shirt up with a neutral expression.
Thoma clears his throat and crosses his arms over his chest, covering the concert t-shirt he’s wearing with his arms. “I agree with you, my Lord. Although, I believe the person should be fired instead, and a new merchandise designer should be hired,” Thoma says, scratching the apples of his cheeks awkwardly. 
Kaveh sighs dramatically. “As much as I love [Y/N] and their flawlessness, I believe that their only flaw is hiring the designer,” Kaveh laments, tossing the t-shirt back on the pile of shirts on the table. 
“Yeah, of course, you do. You say that while having another t-shirt stuffed in your back pocket,” Al Haitham snorts. 
Al Haitham reaches behind Kaveh, yanks the shirt from Kaveh’s pants pocket, and waves it in front of the blond man with an eyebrow raised, the corner of his lips quirking up with amusement. Kaveh gapes at Al Haitham and begins to stutter out excuses.
Tighnari pats Kaveh’s back with a smile. “It’s okay if you like the shirt, Kaveh. People have different tastes in clothing. You don’t have to follow the crowd in hating the design of the merchandise,” Tighnari says.
“Exactly. I don’t understand why people would follow along with what others think. If you like something, then you like it. Don’t pretend to dislike something only because a group of people doesn’t like what you do,” Cyno says, walking up to Kaveh, Tighnari, and Al Haitham while wearing your concert merchandise. 
Baizhu lets out a chuckle and props his hands on his hips. “I see that you’re trying to show others that you’re [Y/N]’s biggest fan,” said Baizhu, looking at Cyno from head to toe.
“I disagree. I’m [Y/N]’s biggest fan,” Gorou says, walking over to the group with various concert merchandise in his hands.
Kazuha pokes Gorou’s back. “I think you should get a bag for [Y/N]’s concert merchandise. We wouldn’t want you to drop them on your way out,” said Kazuha.
“How much longer do we have to wait?” Xiao mutters, leaning on the edge of the merchandise table to stretch his aching legs out. 
Dainsleif hums. “They can take as long as they like. They did perform for almost two hours and have to tolerate everyone crowding the barrier to talk to them,” Dainsleif says nonchalantly.
“And by crowding the barrier, you mean crushing me against the steel stage barrier because [Y/N] looked in my direction and talked to me,” Pantalone huffs, rubbing his lower abdomen where the steel barrier dug into while the twenty-four other men crowded around him just to get your attention.
Albedo shrugs his shoulders. “You sort of did that to yourself, Pantalone,” Albedo says. 
Dottore snickers behind his hands before nudging Pantalone with his elbow. “He’s not wrong there, Pantalone. You tried to find a way to get [Y/N]’s attention, and you were successful! However, every action has consequences,” Dottore smirks.
“I don’t want to alarm anyone, but it seems like [Y/N] is about to make an appearance very soon,” Zhongli speaks up.
Everyone turns to look at Zhongli quizzically. Zhongli sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before gesturing towards the entrance of the room. Everyone in the room falls silent; they can hear three pairs of footsteps approaching the room where the meet and greet is being held. Not only can they hear footsteps getting closer to the room, but the voices are getting louder the closer the footsteps get. 
“They’re in this room, right?” The group of men hears you ask.
“Yes, the meet and greet are being held in this room!” They hear a woman say eagerly.
The door is opened by the security guard. The security guard makes eye contact with each man and nods his head before turning around to gesture for you to enter the room. The men in the room panic and begin to fix their clothes, making sure they look presentable. You walk into the room and smile at the men in front of you. 
“Hello! It’s great to see you all again after the concert! Our interaction was cut short due to the concert and the concert coming to an end. I hope I’ll be able to talk with each of you without any interruptions,” you joyfully said, clasping your hands together in front of you. 
Pierro smiles at you and bows at you, his right hand placed over his chest. “It’s nice to meet you, [Y/N]. Your performance is flawless and enchanting, as always. I’m honored to be able to watch you perform live,” Pierro says, straightening his posture.
You giggle and tuck your hair behind your ears. Your little gesture made the others subtly raise their eyebrows, jealousy beginning to simmer inside of them.
“I’m glad you enjoyed the concert! It makes me incredibly happy to know that people enjoy the performance!” You said, smiling at Pierro. 
“You needn’t worry about what people think of your performance. You’re a world-class performer, a very respected idol, and a huge inspiration and role model for all,” Capitano says gruffly.
You cover both of your flushed cheeks with your hands. “Oh, stop! You’re making me blush!” You said, covering your face.
Archons, can you get any cuter? You’re so cute! The way you cover your cheeks with your hands to hide the blush on your cheeks, you try to keep your professional facade while treating them like an acquaintance. However, they wish it was more than a fan and idol interaction); you speak to them casually instead of the conversation being tense and awkward. 
“If you don’t mind me asking, have you eaten anything yet?” Zhongli asks.
You shake your head. “Not yet! But I will be getting something to eat after the meet and greet! Although I’m not sure where I’ll be going,” you trailed off, pinching the fat of your chin with your lips puckered. 
“You don’t have to worry about that, [Y/N]. Mister Zhongli over here is generous enough to send a food stall to your concert for you personally. As the creator and founder of the biggest [Y/N] Fanclub of all of Teyvat, Zhongli is the one that sends the gifts, food stalls, and does many things for you and the fans,” Childe says, patting the funeral consultant’s shoulders with a big smile on his face.
Aether looks at Zhongli with wide eyes and points at Zhongli with an accusing finger. “You’re Interstellar Idol!? The one that is at every single fan event that is hosted for [Y/N]!?” Aether exclaims in disbelief. 
“He’s also the one that goes all out when it comes to [Y/N],” Heizou whispers, staring at the flustered ex-Archon with wide eyes.
Itto raises his hand in the air. “Hold up! I thought he was broke! Like, borrowing other people’s Mora and never paying them back kind of broke,” Itto says, fiddling with his thumbs while looking at Zhongli skeptically. 
Al Haitham rolls his eyes. “He’s not broke, Itto. Zhongli just forgets to bring his wallet,” Al Haitham corrects Itto, crossing his arms over his chest. 
“As if that’s any better,” Kaveh mutters under his breath. 
You stare at Zhongli with your mouth agape before making your way to the flustered archon. You stand in front of Zhongli, pointing at him. “You’re running my biggest Fanclub, did you know that?” You whisper.
Zhongli clears his throat and nods his head shyly, cheeks pink, the tips of his ears just as pink as the apples of his cheeks. You’re very familiar with the Fanclub called Interstellar Idol; they’re your biggest fanbase of all Teyvat. How can you not know them? They’re at every milestone of yours and have been at your side since the beginning of your career as an idol. If it weren’t for the Fanclub, Interstellar Idol, you wouldn’t be as known as you are now. 
“Is it okay if I give you a hug?” You whisper shyly.
Zhongli looks at you with wide eyes before slowly nodding his head. A big smile appears on your face, and you hug Zhongli, your arms wrapping around his waist. “Thank you for being there with me every step of my career. I appreciate the support, and I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you and the Fanclub, Interstellar Idol,” you murmur, looking up at Zhongli.
“Hey! I want my hug, tooooo!” Venti whines, stomping his foot on the ground playfully. 
You pull away from the hug and laugh. “Alright, I’ll give each of you a hug or a handshake. It’s your choice! Then if any of you want to take a picture, or want anything signed, let me know after!” You said. 
“Just to let you know, Zhongli may be the creator and founder of your biggest Fanclub; all of us,” Thoma gestures to the other men in the room, including himself, “are also well-known [Y/N] fanboys,” Thoma says proudly.
You prop your hands on your hips. “Is that so?” You ask, looking at them curiously. “Care to tell me what each of you does as fans of mine? I’m quite curious,” You said, tilting your head to the side.
Diluc clears his throat loudly. “Let’s discuss this later,” Diluc interjects, looking away with red blossoming on his cheeks.
Kaeya leans toward you while pointing his thumb at Diluc. “Diluc collects your albums and posters. However, he doesn’t have as many as I do,” Kaeya snickers behind his hands.
Diluc narrows his eyes at Kaeya and grabs him by the shirt collar, pulling him back. Kaeya looks over at Diluc with a smug smile on his face. Diluc’s face was almost as red as his hair after Kaeya exposed Diluc’s secret hobby to you, the biggest idol of Teyvat and their celebrity crush. 
“You didn’t hear this from me, but Cyno writes fanfictions about you. His stories are very popular throughout Teyvat,” Tighnari whispers to you.
Cyno looks over at Tighnari, his eyes wide. “What did you say?” Cyno demands, stomping over to you and Tighnari.
“Oh, Cyno. There’s no shame in writing fanfictions! I used to write them myself as well,” you reassure General Mahamatra with a smile on your face.
Ayato looks at you with interest. “And who did you write about?” Ayato asks, raising an eyebrow at you in a teasing manner.
You gaped at Ayato and cleared your throat, rubbing the back of your neck and looking away from the Kamisato heir. There’s no way you’re going to expose yourself even more when you have already revealed your “secret” to the men in front of you. 
“As you said earlier, there’s no shame in writing fanfictions!” Baizhu sing-song, smiling at you innocently.
You pucker your lips and shake your head. “We’re not close enough for me to expose my secrets even more,” you joke. 
Dottore slides his arm over your shoulders. “I’m sure by the end of the meet and greet; we’ll be closer than ever for you to tell us who you wrote fanfictions of,” Dottore chuckles, smiling down at you.
You squint your eyes at Dottore and look at the other men. “We’ll see about that,” you stroke your chin.
You walk over to Xiao, who’s quietly observing you with curiosity. Despite being a massive idol in Teyvat, you’re still humble, and you interact with your fans like ordinary people instead of putting up a wall between you and your fans. You’re grateful for all of the support you have been receiving since day one of your career as an idol, and you continue to be thankful for your fans, your manager, and everyone around you that made your career happen. 
“What’s on your mind?” You ask, pulling Xiao from his thoughts.
Xiao blinks at you and clears his throat, the apples of his cheeks turning bright pink. “It’s nothing,” Xiao says.
You look at him curiously. “If it’s nothing, then how come you weren’t answering me when I called  your name a couple of times?” You tease.
Xiao clears his throat, his face turning bright red. “You know my name?” Xiao asks, his eyes almost as wide as dinner plates.
“We told them your name,” said Gorou, giving Xiao a small smile. 
Scaramouche sighs and shakes his head. “Don’t mind him. This is his first time going to your concert, and I think his mind is still trapped at the concert,” Scaramouche comments, a small smirk appearing on his face. 
Kazuha shrugs his shoulders. “Hey, you can’t blame him for that. [Y/N]’s concerts are always mesmerizing and memorable,” Kazuha says, patting Xiao’s back.
Xiao hesitates for a moment, his face turning a darker shade of red. How is he going to talk to you when he can’t get the words out of his mouth? Xiao feels like he’s running out of time with you, and he wants to cherish every moment with you before having to deal with reality again. The reality of having to deal with his karmic debt, the reality of having to watch over Liyue, the reality of you being so far from him performing all over the world while he’s stuck in Liyue. Your music and your presence ease his mind and worries. Zhongli looks over at Xiao, a faint smile appearing on his face. He lets out a chuckle and shakes his head.
“He’s a big fan of yours,” Zhongli says, placing his hand on Xiao’s shoulders. 
Xiao’s face continues to grow hot; he nods and scratches the back of his neck shyly. You smile and press both of your hands over your heart. 
“It makes me really happy to hear that you’re a fan of mine, Xiao! With every love and support I receive from my fans, I really do appreciate it. I appreciate each of you,” You said.
Alice walks up to you and stands beside you, locking gazes with Albedo. She smiles at him and nods to him. “Hello, Albedo! How are you doing, sweetheart? What do you think of [Y/N]’s concert?” Alice asks.
A small smile appears on Albedo’s face. “Hello, Alice. I’m doing well! I really enjoyed [Y/N]’s performance. Seeing them perform in person makes me realize why they earned the title ‘world-class performer,’” Albedo says. 
Dainsleif nudges Albedo. “You know [Y/N]’s agent?” He mutters to the light blond-haired male.
Albedo nods his head. “You can say that she is a family member of mine. However, I see Klee, Alice’s daughter, as a little sister of mine. Alice insisted that I call her mother,” Albedo briefly explains.
Pantalone lets out a thoughtful hum. “Then that means you know [Y/N] before their career?” Pantalone asks. 
“We’ve met a few times, but we barely spoke to each other because of how busy the chief alchemist is,” you answer. “It’s nice to see you again, Albedo. Thank you for coming to my concert. Your support means a lot to me,” you said. 
Albedo gives you a shy smile and looks away, his face almost as red as Xiao’s face. You laugh to yourself before turning to the next person beside Albedo. Itto, who is wearing all of your concert merchandise with the sign in his hands and a bandana with your name on it wrapped around his forehead. When you make eye contact with Itto, Itto looks like he’s about to pass out right on the spot.
“I’m assuming you’re my biggest fan?” You ask.
Itto nods his head, gulping. “I love your music so much. I have posters of you all over my wall, I collect every album you have released, along with magazines you’re on the cover of, and I try to go as many fan meets as I can along with your concert,” Itto rambles. 
Childe snorts and leans toward Zhongli. “Simp,” Childe mutters. 
Zhongli rolls his eyes. “As if none of us are that as well,” Zhongli mutters to the ginger-haired Harbinger, nudging Childe. 
“So, are you implying that Itto is a bigger [Y/N] fan than you?” Dainsleif asks, raising an eyebrow at Childe.
“Of course not! [Y/N] knows that I’m their biggest fan because I show up to every meet and greet they host throughout Teyvat! I also go to every single one of their concerts if I get the chance to go!” Childe huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. 
Diluc rolls his eyes. “Keep telling yourself that,” Diluc snorts.
“If you’re confused, Diluc is implying that he’s a bigger fan of [Y/N] than you are,” Kaeya says, pointing his thumb over at Diluc.
Venti laughs and pops up between Kaeya and Diluc. “You may be a big fan of [Y/N], but do any of you make covers of their music? I don’t think so!” Venti huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. 
“Covering a song? What does that mean?” Ayato asks Thoma.
“Venti sings [Y/N]’s songs and posts them for people to see. I believe that Venti has a lot of views on each cover he has posted,” Thoma explains.
Venti props his hands on his hips with a proud smile on his face. Itto hands you a pen with shaky hands, asking you to sign the album he has brought with him. Itto would have you sign every album he has owned, but it would be too many, and Itto doesn’t think he can carry it all with him even if he makes Gorou assist him. You grab the pen from Itto’s grasp and begin signing the album. Your handwriting is elegant and legible; seeing you sign the album in front of his own eyes is a memory he will cherish forever. Speaking of cherishing memories, Itto quickly pulls his Kamera out from his bag and takes a quick picture of you signing the album.
“Itto! You just can’t take pictures of [Y/N] while they’re signing your album!” Gorou hisses, smacking Itto’s biceps.
“It’s okay! I don’t mind getting my pictures taken. After all, I am used to it,” you said, smiling at Gorou.
Gorou feels his face turn hot the minute you smile at him. Gorou covers the lower part of his face with his hand and looks away, his tail giving him away. You finish up signing Itto’s album and begin signing Itto’s sign that he brought to the concert. When he receives your signed album and his sign with your autograph on it, Itto squeals loudly and tackles you into a hug while blabbering about how much he loves you and how you make him so happy. 
“Hey! Let’s not tackle [Y/N] into a bone-crushing hug now, Itto!” Baizhu says, laughing nervously as he tries to get Itto off of you. 
Aether snorts. “Listen, Itto may have the abs, but he doesn’t have the biceps to crush [Y/N] and their bones,” Aether says, poking at Itto’s arms.
“I call dibs standing next to [Y/N] when we take group pictures!” Heizou announces, raising his hand in the air with a triumphant smile. 
Kaveh lets out a loud scoff, crossing his arms over his chest. “You can’t call dibs! It’s not fair for the rest of us!” Kaveh protests, glaring at Heizou.
“Yeah, Heizou. If you were to call dibs on standing beside [Y/N] in the pictures, it wouldn’t be fair for the rest of us,” Al Haitham says. 
You chuckle and walk over to the center of the meet-and-greet room after Itto has released you from his hug. You watch the men debate on who should stand next to you (spoiler: all of them said themselves). In the end, you end up taking a bunch of group pictures because each man wanted to stand beside you in the picture, which you didn’t mind at all! They’re all hilarious and sweet about it, plus you didn’t really have anything else planned after the meet and greet other than get something to eat. 
“I’m going to cherish this picture forever,” Tighnari says, staring at the film in his hands with a faint smile.
You feel your stomach growl; now that you think about it, Zhongli did say something about renting a food stall for you after the concert. Perhaps you can invite them to keep you company while you eat. Maybe they can get something to eat, too, since you’re unsure if they had anything to eat prior to the concert. 
Before you can ask the men if they want to join you, you walk over to Alice and the security guard. You need Alice’s thoughts (and permission) first before inviting the men. Alice gives you a thumbs up, making you sigh in relief. You walk over to the men, who are still bickering over who should’ve been the first one to stand next to you in the group picture. 
You tap on Cyno’s shoulders, grabbing the white-haired man’s attention.
“Do you guys want to join me at the food stall? I’m about to get something to eat, and I would like all of you to join me. If you’re hungry, you can get something to eat at the food stall, and if not, you can just hang out and chat with each other,” you said.
“I would love to!” Cyno says, smiling at you. 
“We would love to keep you company,” Pierro says, nodding.
“I’m starting to feel famished, so why not?” said Scaramouche. 
Kazuha holds his arm out for you to take. “Shall we go and get something to eat at the food stall?” Kazuha asks.
You link your arms with his and nod. “We shall.”
“Hey! I want to lock arms with them too!” You hear Childe whine.
You hear Capitano scoff. “Quit your whining, and let’s get something to eat,” Capitano says, looking at Childe.
You all walk to the back entrance of the stadium venue. Outside is a long line of food stalls rented by Zhongli for you to eat after the performance. There was so much food to choose from, and you’re not sure where to start!
“Zhongli, you’re a godsend,” you said, walking to the nearest food stall with excitement. 
“It’s funny because he’s actually the Geo arch— Oof!” Childe groans when Zhongli elbows him in the gut with a straight face.
“I believe we should get food now,” Zhongli states nonchalantly, shooting a look over in Childe’s direction. 
Childe pouts and nods his head before trailing after Zhongli while the others go to grab food from the stalls to eat. Usually, this isn’t how your meet and greets end, but a little change is nice sometimes. Who knew your career would take off so fast and land you in this situation, surrounded by your fanboys while eating food in each other’s company? 
Note: I have another AU coming out next week! I have no idea why I've been getting a lot of AU ideas, but I think the upcoming AU should be the last one for now. Other than AUs, I do have some ideas for mini-fics as well and I'm really hoping I can type them out and get them posted. I've been busy with school and my winter schedule has been keeping me out of my house for hours until early evening 😵‍💫 This next part is copied and pasted; For those who want to be on my new taglist, here is the link to the taglist [Genshinluvr Updated Taglist Form]! Please make sure that you allow people to mention you/tag you in posts, or else I won't be able to tag you in any future fanfics! And as usual, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!
Taglist for my Isekai'd!Reader one-shot series and my overall taglist: @alhaitham-scribe, @xyji, @kazuhasmuse, @chirikoheina, @yoru-trash, @kaoyamamegami, @kwelibeeery, @yumakj, @deartoru, @luminarymoonlight, @toobytub, @ins4nebish, @bokuto-kinnie, @honeybedo, @exhaustedcommunist, @jadedist, @mompt2, @living-my-best-life5, @chalksdreams, @rinswriting, @thelost-in-time, @mxn14, @ventisweetheart, @unwantedsleep, @kattythesimp, @hispasian-otaku, @Orah-s, @juuuuuj101010, @nxns3nse, @sickly-falling, @alteeeeyang, @wind1y, @wh0-ta0, @samarill, @testsubject0012, @irisxiel, @HistoryNerd™️, @kazuhaprnt, @lunarapple, @emilymikado (If your name has been crossed out, it means that your account did not show up when I try to tag your account. Please make sure to allow people to mention you and tag you in posts and make sure the spelling, symbols, and numbers are correct)
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gettinshiggywithit · 4 months
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𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬
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Summary: In which you find out loki’s secret and he fears your reaction.
Pairing: loki x reader
Genre: fluff ,maybe a hintt of angst
W/c: 928
A/N: saw someone talking abt jotun loki and my brain went brrrrr.Wrote this at 5/6 in the morning on 0 sleep so apologies in advance!If yall liked it id love to hear your thoughts
Marvel MasterList
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A frost giant.unbelievable.
Loki stood in odin’s vault,hands firmly gripping the handles of the casket. He watched as his skin changed to an icy blue,an equally icy chill running down his spine. The all father had conveniently fallen into the odin-sleep.
“Leaving me when i need him…typical” he said to himself. It wasn’t like he had an audience and with him being the acting ruler,and his mother being in his ‘father’s’ chambers, he needn’t fear intrusion.
The only person aware of his little secret,who was awake anyway, was his mother and he intended to keep it that way.for as long as he could.
Eliminating thor would guarantee him the throne and by destroying jotunheim,he’d garner enough of the public’s love to hopefully keep his throne,should his secret come to light.
‘Does heimdall know?’ He wondered to himself.
‘No matter,He can be dealt with if necessary”
Loki was so lost in thought that he missed the,
“There you are!” You huffed out.
You marched on upto him and noticed he wasnt…himself.
At this sudden revalation, you started taking quieter,more measured steps towards the boyfriend-shaped figure in front of you.
You let out a tentative “loki?” To which he jolted, his hands immediately letting go of the casket and his now-red eyes staring at you with both surprise and slight fear. Not fear of you,but the fear of being discovered.
“Y/n, dont…dont do that.” He said letting out a breath he didn't know he’d been holding in. And when you didn’t reply, instead merely staring at him in bewilderment, he suddenly remembered how he looked. He stumbled backwards, his hands flying to brace himself against the stand of the artefact behind him.
His finger gently brushed against the casket and the fading blue returned once again.
Noticing this, he pulled his hands to his front.clasping them and lookin on at you,awaiting your reaction.
What would you do? Yell at him? Leave him? Threaten to tell the rest of asgard?
All the worst possibilities ran around his head and he began to tear up.
He was broken out of his turbulant thoughts by your hand brushing against his cheek.
He was shocked, to say the least.
Of all the reactions he’d thought up,this wasnt one.
He leaned into your touch,fearing this would be the last time he would feel it,your soft cold hand against his wretched skin.
“What is this loki?” You ask in a whisper,staring at him with not fear,not anger,but wonder and curiosity.
You were now stood quite close to eachother not impossibly so, but quite.
“I-“
“Were you cursed?”
“In a manner of speaking…y-”
“Does it hurt?”
You knew what he was,you’d seen frost giants before so it wasn’t illiteracy that made you disregard his current state.
You really were asking him if he was okay as he stood before you, a blue monster,kin to those you’d fantasised about killing in your youth…
Was this real?
He needed to know it was,so he spelled it out for you,
“Y/N,im a Frost giant.”
He let out in a voice laden with melancholy,regret and was that fear you heard?
“I know” you merely replied as you traced the patterns on his skin.
At this he pulled your hand away and held it.
“What do you mean you know?! Y/N im a monster! Dont you understand!”
Your expression shifted to one of annoyance,another unforseen reaction.
“I understand quite clearly loki.”
“Then why haven’t you-”
“Why haven’t i run out screaming? Cursing you? Why havent i tried to kill you?”
His silence told you that was exactly what he was about to ask, more or less.
You sighed before stepping towards him and placing his hand on your shoulder,he flinched but didn't move otherwise.
You took this as your go-ahead and wrapped him in a hug.
You stayed there for a good three minutes in silence before saying,
“Loki,i dont give a single ratatosk whisker if you’re a jotun.i love you.”
You pulled away at that to look him in the eyes and saw the tears forming there.
As they fell from his eyes,you caught them with your thumb and placed in on tongue.
Now it was his turn to look at you in confusion.
You waited a beat before saying, “for a jotun you cry asgardian tears.”
He smiled at that,scoffing at your antics.
“You’re ridiculous”
“Yeah well im also yours so get used to it” you said as you went in for another hug and this time he hugged back holding you like you were the most precious thing in all the nine realms,and to him,you were.
“Are you sure?” He whispered out,almost like he hoped you wouldnt hear.
“Always.And never forget it” you said,pressing a soft kiss to his lips which had him chasing yours as you pulled away.
“Why did you come down here anyway?” He asked finally realising it was rather odd for you to have come to the artefacts vault;unless there was a purpose for your visit that is.
“Ah yes, Frigga was calling you.” You said pulling away and pulling him by the arm towards the exit.
“Alright then” he said as he let you drag him out of the chamber that held his secrets. You really were something else,and he’d never been more grateful for anyone in his entire life.
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