#anyways idk i just wish other artists would take me seriously

[moshieee]

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered

That's kinda it idk you that well

Anyways

You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s

*inhales*

@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)

Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe

@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)

my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget

@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)

Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.

@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)

Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon

I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.

@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)

I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup

I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.

@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)

little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!

(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)

another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg

@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)

A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.

@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!

Nooo the parallels

One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.

@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that

When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly

@neptunestoast (plushy slime)

Hugs hugs hugs*

Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly

@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)

What are you doing here??? How are we friends???

I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one

@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)

Why did it take me so long to follow you istg

ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag

@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)

This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh

New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.

@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that

Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese

Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.

#god this is a lot anyways im off to the store now #mutuals #E #seal-berry #Rabid jumpscare #bun bun brother #dia fren #goop buddies #Floridian disadvantage #plushy slime #anxiety bunny buddy #Lilith my be-loathed?

[everythingsinred]

for the writers ask- 8, 14, and 16!! :) <3

thanks so much for asking ;-; <3

8) Do you take inspiration from real life? If so how do you incorporate it into your fics? sometimes... i take my experiences of universal feelings (like the things i do when im VERY happy or VERY sad and then apply them to characters). characters like natsume (like. loners. etc.) are characters i relate to a lot so i can cherry pick little experiences ive had and fashion them to fit them. i never use the specific way i was abused (tmi) in my writing ever but the feelings that come from it are pretty common after being hurt, so i like to use those. ig long story short i keep the emotional part of my own experiences but discard the specifics.

14) What is something you wrote in a fic that you are hoping readers picked up on but you don't know if they did? And/or, what is something that you were excited that readers did pick up on? im primarily thinking abt all things rancid and delicate rn bc i think that one garnered a lot of attention compared to my other ga fics and also since it was one i put a lot of artistic effort into...

anyway i was very lucky, especially for that fic, that i had a couple of readers who would comment long reviews, discussing p much everything that stood out to them or even quoting passages they liked, so i could see what people were paying special attention to. when im writing i like to do extended metaphors or running themes that keep threads connected. in atrad specifically, there was the heart thing, though that was pretty obvious.

i think in subjectives, i want to imply that theres feelings OTHER than hatred between natsume and mikan because. well. its a romance fic. so i was happy to see comments pointing out that, even tho there was nothing specifically alluding to it, my readers were noticing that there was smth more there! lovely <3

(not in a fic but i wrote a line once that was supposed to be a metaphor i was very proud of but when my mom read it she took it seriously and was like ???? THAT REALLY HAPPENED? and idk if its bc she just didnt catch on or if the metaphor wasnt as well-written as i would have liked.)

16) Do you have a method for getting characters to sound/feel in character? i rly wish i had a more concrete way to put this...

i think its really crucial to have an understanding of the character: what they want, what they fear, their relationships with others, etc--both in the fic and in canon. try to keep the important features that stand out in the characters so they resemble the canon version. (for mikan, for example, that tends to be her optimism, friendliness, and kindness, but also her quick temper and occasionally unreasonable nature and for natsume, his impatience with most people, tendency to be curt and evasive, disillusionment with life in general, etc.)

its key not to stray from those more staple characteristics, even in au, but they can be stretched to fit a role (and this is just keeping them in character from the canon. sometimes ooc is the goal).

sometimes ill just stare at actual art from the manga, like a panel of natsume or mikan or somebody, and think abt lines of dialogue or certain actions, and i'll ask myself if i can see that character saying that or doing that. usually this method just makes me feel rly weird abt writing abt them at all, tho, so its more of a control method rather than some critical part of my process.

yeah ig its just understanding the character in canon and how those traits are reflected in ur fic and keeping those key traits consistent.

thanks so much for asking these questions <3 talking abt writing is a surreal experience for me bc it sometimes feels like very little concrete thought is put into it but its fun to remove the process from abstract ideas so thank u!!!!

send me a fic writing ask if you would like!

#crimsoncitrus #answered #ask games #all things rancid and delicate #subjectives #ga #idk how to tag im just winging it mostly

[kkyujikoo]

These are my... 2...? Maybe 50, cents about the whole "freejk" thing. I'm gonna be extremely petty and at some points a whole lot sarcastic and it's gonna be long but I had to say it. As soon as I get my computer I'm gonna make it under read more, but the app does whatever it wants, as we know.

Listen, this ain't my first fan rodeo, and not even the first fan rodeo where I've been directly or indirectly accused of being some sort of pervert or delulu. I've been in fandom spaces since I was a teen, I was shipping mlm couples when queerbaiting in TV shows was still something that was seen as the norm rather than some cheap disgusting trick. I was there when fanfic spaces saw "slash" fics as something "different" and to be tagged with a more mature rating even when they just looked at each other.

I was in BBC's Sherlock's fandom and I shipped Johnlock during the hiatus between S3 and S4, at this point I'm not even feeling it when people call me delulu or a weirdo.

So, yeah, take this with a grain of salt: as a person who has seen thousands of times fandom drama unfolding and has lived too much of it... This whole situation is so ridiculous it makes me laugh. Like, yeah, it's maddening how people will blame anyone and everyone because they don't even see their own bias and homophobia, granted, but like... It also makes me laugh for the sheer dumbassery of the reasoning behind it all?

Like... Y'all are getting mad and for what? Because it sure as hell isn't the invasion of privacy, since y'all are watching the same content we're all watching and you're paying to see it the same way everyone else is. If you don't want to "invade their privacy", you should just... Stop watching content that isn't their music videos, RUN episodes or interviews. Memories and any kind of dvd/video that shows what they're doing behind the scenes shouldn't be part of their job as musicians, and therefore we're intruding in their privacy... Or aren't we?

Or maybe it's more nuanced than that: maybe the content they release on dvd/on their official channels is part of their job as entertainers, and it's been approved, and it's a small window THEY are granting us.

You know what's the REAL invasion of privacy and what REALLY invalidates someone autonomy? When you, who maybe aren't even paying to see that content (which is something I understand, like, dude, I'm not covered in money either), DEMAND what kind of behind the scenes content you want when I swear ABSOLUTELY NO ONE has asked you. Once again: you don't like it? You think it's some huge invasion of privacy? Don't buy it. Don't interact with it. Convince your friends to do the same. For all I care, just go and petition to boycott this kind of content. I know you won't do it, because... That's the thing, isn't it? It's not the invasion of privacy that bothers these people.

Y'all aren't mad because we get into their business or else you would have gotten real mad when we were privy to REAL private moments like people crying their hearts out.

No, no. Y'all are mad because it's "shipping content" and "fanservice" which apparently bothers you because it lacks authenticity.

Pick a side, lovelies: either you DON'T want to invade their privacy, and thus all the content they release should be focused on what fans want to see, or you WANT to know how they interact TRULY in private.

And here's the catch: "shipping content" can be anything. Shipping existed WAAAAAYYY before the word for it was invented, same way with fanfictions. Shipping means, literally, "seeing two (or more) people interact and thinking they would make a good romantic pair". That's it. That's quite literally it. Everything else is just some nuance of the concept of shipping, but at its core, it's nearly impossible to ban all shipping content when it's a group of seven people, because they should for real go in social distancing mode to do so. Most people who have parasocial relationships tend to have "ships" whether they know it or not, because we've all, at least once, looked at a dynamic from the outside and thought "oh man they look cute together". So, even if, o dear ones, your wishes were granted... What the hell do you mean by "shipping" content? Should they just film solo clips, avoiding talking about the other members? But wouldn't that be fanservice, since it's focused on pleasing the fans? (Which, ultimately, is what fanservice MEANS, and I hate to break it to y'all but the whole concept behind entertainment and thus all the content BTS releases it's... For the fans. Like, they're not going out of their way to just meet our expectations but they're certainly doing fanservice by the mere act of releasing bonus content.)

But it's not even quite that, is it? Because no one bats an eye if it's Tae kissing Nj's cheek. I've seen no hashtag against everyone - and I mean literally every one of them - wolf whistling at Nj. It's okay to show intimacy... Because they're bandmates and it's okay to be close to someone who you see basically 24/7, I hear you. And it's also okay when people see that and gush over that closeness, because it's such a nice thing to see.

Soooooo... We've got to free JK from whom exactly? From what?

Are y'all mad cause people pointed out there's very little way a bruise that stayed for a whole ass night could be a quick bite? Because that doesn't harm jk, at most makes fun of him and jimin and their poor excuses (seriously, guys, next time consider using mosquitoes or "I was doing stuff". It'll be equally embarrassing but at least the meme will be funny), and it's literally... A fair observation. Like. It's a hickey, people are gonna make jokes about seeing a hickey and poor excuses of covering it up in the exact same way they're gonna make jokes over jimin falling out of chairs. And yeah, a hickey is AT LEAST something that happens in a sensual context. Like, I could understand "people who are extremely familiar with each other will have different body language/touch in areas where usually you wouldn't see friends touching each other", but that's not. Not a hand on the thigh. It's a hickey on the neck. I don't even know a more stereotypical placing for a hickey. But once again, are y'all mad because someone is pointing it out? Because that's not being delulu or even being a shipper, really, it's just commenting on something that was approved to be shown and discussed in something that was released BY THEM.

Are y'all mad at hybe for showing something that literally fell onto their hands? Cause like, unless someone (I'm counting on Jimin, since as we know Jungkook was busy spinning him round and round and had both his hands busy) called at hybe headquarters to say "yo bang pd substitute, is it okay if I give my friend jk here a hickey? Cause he's being really annoying rn and he has to pay", I highly doubt anyone expected Jungkook to come to rehearsal all neatly marked up. Or idk, maybe someone at hybe asked them "we need Jungkook to come in with a hickey but refuse to say it's a hickey, so that fans will feel reeeeally served." That sounds perfectly plausible too. Or a good marketing strategy.

Now, if you're a big company and your objective is to have some footage of the rehearsals for a concert, and the fandom is too good at noticing stuff for their own good, and one of your artists comes in with a very visible mark, and he and his bff bropal4lyfe come n with a story about how they were playing and a bite happened, you've got three choices: 1. Cut the artist out of aaaaalll the footage. Someone would have noticed the "bite mark" anyway, you best believe that. If you don't want anyone to notice it, you gotta cut him in most of the footage where it's visible. 2. Keep the hickey, discard the explanations. You could do that, but also it would feel a lot more unfaithful to everyone involved. Also they clearly worked their ass off to invent an explanation, come on! They truly tried to do their best inventing something that was not "it's a mosquito bite", they should get some credit! 3. Keep the bite, keep the explanation.

Notice how none of these solutions include the biting never happening because... They couldn't prevent it? The only thing they have any control over is how they're framing each "accident". And that's not an easy job.

I applaud you, people on the editing team.

So... On whom should we cast the blame now? Ah, yes, I think it's finally time for the ultimate scapegoat of this fandom: Jimin. Which is funny, cause... You know... If this were really about privacy, or being "victims" of shipping... This should be about freeing him too, you know? But obviously Jimin does it for attention, while Jungkook, poor angel that he is, doesn't even know what shipping is.

Furthermore, don't we all know how much Jimin imposes himself in Jungkook's life? To the point where he, multimillionaire man feels compelled to share a car with Jimin even if they're both late in the process. And can't you see how uncomfortable he is, draping himself over Jimin, making Jimin drap himself over him?

Oh lordy, truly such an awful eight years Jungkook spent, choosing to have vacations with someone who made him uncomfortable, spending free time with him, even having to suck his ear in public to the point you can see his saliva just because Jimin was sad :( truly an all-around bad time for Jungkook, as evidenced by alllll those times when he said Jimin was pretty, cute, and all-around knowing every little thing about Jimin. I absolutely concur, the dude would be so much more happy if jimin was not in his life.

Did that sound weird and absolutely ridiculous and a really absurd joke? Because that's what y'all sound like to me. Like. Jungkook is out there living his best life, getting hickeys and showered in affection and y'all paint him as a fucking martyr??? I'm sure he's really truly desperate that Jimin holds him in such high regards 😭😭😭 I can see him suffering whenever he starts doing his own serendipity rendition 😭😭 and when he claimed you are me, I am you as his and Jimin's only 😭😭😭 I cannot believe this poor baby 😭😭😭

I've reached a point where every time I hear this stuff I laugh because the levels of twisting reality when it comes to jikook are extraordinary, Jungkook will have a literally blissed out face and people will cry in outrage.

But coming back to my point: let's pretend you're not mad at Jimin and the possibility that jikook are dating: are y'all mad... At the hickey? Because at this point it seems like the only feasible solution. And if you are, do not worry: I'm sure Jungkook's skin was throughly healed by his boo. A kiss soothes even the worst pain, doesn't it?

#jikook #that freejk dumbassery

[toujoursmiraculous]

Thoughts and Reaction to Lies!

It's another long one because so much happens in this episode! The episode starts with Marinette trying to figure out a "secret" within the grimoire. Literal first thought was that this "secret" may be the key to waking up Emilie. It's obviously going to be of huge significance later, anyway. By looking at that piece on Adrien, it does appear Adrien has an amazing life. And really, that's what a lot of people think. That's the point of featuring him. A life of a celebrity is pretty amazing, really interesting and fascinating. But it's also filled with a lot of stress, chaos, loneliness, etc. But viewers rarely ever see it. As for Marinette, while Adrien has said things about what his father allows that makes him sad, we haven't ever heard him complain to her in any way about that lifestyle. To her, he's a guy whose father has him busy with activities (interesting ones at that) and very rarely ever lets him spend time with friends. I love how this episode parallels Truth! But Adrien's POV. My boy has an episode centered around him, finally!

So we know her standing Chat Noir up is because Luka came by reminding her of a date she forgot she rescheduled. You know she's extremely distracted and stressed when she can't remember a date with Luka or a patrol with Chat Noir, or remember that she planned them at the same time. It's really not her fault, and I feel so bad for her that things are becoming so difficult. "No messages, but don't forget my cheese!" LOL this is perfect. Plagg has to get that reminder in wherever he can! The Chat Noir appreciation was so wholesome to see awww, I bet so many boys in Paris look up to him, so sweet x33 Mr. Banana, Chat Noir, and the man who frequently is Mr. Pigeon just chilling on a bench in the park together. What a scene! lol But Chat wanting them to be akumatized so he could see Ladybug. Big oof. He's going to get his wish, a few times over. Careful what you wish for, Kitty! "A glass of milk as usual, mister Chat Noir?" Okay so when Chat's down, he goes to that bar and has a glass of milk. Or more if he's having a bad day. Awwwww. If you think about it, Adrien probably isn't allowed to have milk. With the fat content and all. :/ Kagami lying to her mother and Nathalie/Gabriel just to spend some time with Adrien. Considering how difficult their lives are, that's pretty impressive to be so brave. Not too fond of the lying part though, since there's not a noble reason for doing so. But I can understand it. We found out Kagami's real passion: drawing! Which is pretty cool. That's one thing Kagami and Marinette have in common that'd make them good friends. Very sad how her blind mother tells her she's not good enough. That just tells you what she thinks of her daughter and what she wants her to do with her life. She's afraid she'll pursue the arts rather than something practical, so best shoot down any thoughts of being an artist now. And then, like with all episodes that have Kagami in them, this is where I start to dislike her. "I want to draw the real you, on the inside." Adrien makes various model poses, none work for her as she knows they're just him being a model. Then he actually poses as himself. A silly, goofy cat having fun and being happy. Adorable. "What do you think of... CAT?" deathglare "No, this is absolutely not natural." "Yes it is. I promise, this is really me!" "NO! This is you when you're acting like a clown!" Adrien looking hurt, "But maybe when I act like a clown, it's really me." Then she takes his hand, (gently) pushes him back up against the wall, her hands on his chest, "That way, that's who you really are." What way? Her telling him how to be is who he really is? He stammers, looking very uncomfortable. "But are you sure?" "Yes... you are perfect." Then she leans in to kiss him, while he's still looking uncomfortable. Right here, she's trying to tell him who he is. What kind of relationship is healthy and a good one one at that, when one side is trying to tell the other who they are, how they must act, etc? That's toxic. Keep in mind, after this scene, during Truth's attack. He found out that Ladybug actually in fact loves (said she prefers) the humorous, "clown" side of him. Yes, she only knows it as Chat Noir for now, but she actually appreciates and loves Chat for who he is. Kagami doesn't love nor appreciate that side of Adrien. Which is a very big and important side of him. We knew this in Ikari Gozen, she couldn't stand the thought of Chat Noir being compared to Adrien, pretty sure she even seemed offended by it if memory serves. But it's laid out more in Lies, it's more direct. (Marinette's done this too in the past, but when she's done it, her tone's more like pssssh please! while she looks off to the side, like she's mostly just telling herself that, to convince herself, rather than believing it.) Kagami thinks she knows Adrien, knows that him being funny and a clown is not the "real" him. Acting like she knows him better than he knows himself. Thinking he's perfect. That was a very hurtful thing to have said and you can see it in his expression the same kind of pain and hurt

he gets a lot. I also want to talk about how watching her back Adrien up against the wall like that and leaning into kiss him made me feel particularly uncomfortable. While they might have a little thing going on, he was clearly not comfortable by it and it just did not sit well with me. This entire scene was riddled with red flags. Adrien smiled at the end of that on his way out, yes, but having someone tell you you're perfect would seem like a compliment to you, wouldn't it? The one you like thinks you're perfect, thinks the facade you put up is perfect and anything less isn't okay with them. That'll end up so well! The almost kissing scenes this episode literally had me like

I'm sorry, I just feel so very uncomfortable by them, I can't help it. xD Just before Chat Noir sneaked up on Ladybug, he almost kissed Kagami right? And yet here he is, being a bit flirty, saying he's missed her on patrols. I also want to point out she tells him to stop with his stupid jokes, because she doesn't want to accidentally hurt him! She could've hurt him by scaring her like that. While she likes his humor, they're only problematic if it puts himself in danger or distracts them from fighting an akuma. "I promise I won't forget our patrols anymore." The looks that passed between LB and CN here is just so cute! OOOF as Luka walks away sad because Marinette had to run off, here comes Adrien, about to do the exact same thing as Marinette to Kagami... Now Kagami's not as accepting of him running off as she was just a little while ago.

Even Andre's like, what the heck was that?! His expression watching Adrien run off made me laugh, I had to share it. I was wondering how Adrien got to the boathouse before Marinette did, as it made it seem like Adrien was there long before Marinette was. He just ran in and started playing along where they were. Good lord, he has a lot going on too, doesn't he? Only difference from Marinette here is Adrien has a built-in and believable excuse he can tell his friends. Kagami's forceful "Adrien, it's time." "Five little minutes?" *shakes head sternly* Who does this remind you of in Adrien's life already? Is this what a good girlfriend, what a good friend would do? And here again is the pattern we see a lot with Kagami. She manipulates situations so that they can spend time together. Adrien wants to spend time with his friends AND girlfriend at the same time. Rehearsing for their band, it looks like. He rarely ever gets to spend time with others, be a normal kid. But no, she drags him away early, making it sound like they had to leave, but it's just her wanting him to herself. When he couldn't go to New York, oh well that's unfortunate you're sad, but we can spend more time together now, isn't that great? It's about what she wants, not what he wants or what's best for Adrien. She spends more time with Adrien (not counting Ladybug spending time with Chat Noir here) than anyone else does by the looks of it, and she doesn't even know him at all. It's really sad. Adrien still carrying around Marinette's lucky charm bracelet in his pocket x3333 This never fails to make me happy. But oof that boy's seriously going to lose it one of these days if he's not careful! There's something different about seeing the Ladynoir scene on the roof that we got in Truth, but from Adrien's perspective. Something about it feels like it means more to me, idk. Adrien gets caught in a lie, saying he lost something but found it. Kagami asked what it was, holding Marinette's lucky charm behind her back. He says it was the lucky charm Marinette gave her, as he's scrambling in his pocket to pull it out seeming a bit frazzled, but realizes he actually in fact lost it (again! he says). But Kagami caught him in that lie, showing him that she actually had it.

I'm not sure if he's so shocked because she actually had it and wonders how she got it, or if he looks like that because he just got caught in a lie. But the way his eyebrows raised a little makes it seem like he's surprised she had it after all and was testing him the whole time. I've always hated the way sometimes someone when in a relationship will test the other one like this. Really not fair in Adrien's case at all. Things aren't always as they may seem. And here's the thing, she's admitting to him that she's lying just to be with him. She lies all the time. Adrien caught on that she was lying, but didn't really understand why I don't think. Earlier in the episode he says, "What are you hiding, Kagami?" he didn't know her purpose for it. Now she says, "We're both liars, the difference is I lie to be with you. You. You lie to get away from me." Which is a yes but actually no situation. It's not that he doesn't want to be with her, it's that he needs to get away temporarily. It just looks really, really bad. Getting off track from that conversation briefly, but that scene where the akuma goes off into the night, with the blurred city lights that becomes clear. Just wow. That shot is beautiful, I can't help myself from playing it back and admiring it. I'm also totally digging the new transformation music! it gives me 90s vibes and makes me happy. Seeing Jagged after Truth is just completely different xD "I fear nothing, I am an artist! I still hold to my fans." Both Roth: "Wrong, you lie to them about your age!" "That's not Rock and Roll!" Had me rolling!! Jagged sure is something XD Chat just up and about to cataclysm the sphere, thinking he'd be okay because he doesn't lie. Except he lies all the time to protect his identity and get himself away from people so he can transform. xD Silly Kitty. The drone as a Lucky Charm is super cool! In Truth, Chat Noir said a truth about how he felt about Ladybug. In Lies, he tells lies to Lies to get her attention. "My name's not Chat Noir! I'm not a superhero! I hate Ladybug! And I think Hawk Moth should've called himself Panfly! It's funnier! Oh, I was about to forget: my favorite dish is cabbage with white sauce! Yummy!" Cabbage...with white sauce... as a dish. Is this like, a real fancy dish or something or is this boy being completely starved? o.o CN: "There are only two more liars left in Paris, and one of them knows how to turn his attention." LB: "No, wait! Don't do that! What if I'm mistaken?" "You know what? I trust you." he lets go, sacrificing himself again "Chat Noir, no! Don't do that! You're crazy!" "Yes, crazy for you, m'lady." Says softly, sadly, "No, you're just crazy unconscious." This ENTIRE scene right here. The love, the trust, the pain in this scene. It's so beautiful and well done that I can't stop getting emotional from it and gushing! Everything's on the line from that decision, and the trust he has for her, the faith he has in her really helps her know she can do what she needs to do. She's always doubting herself, and he's always there to say he doesn't feel that way at all, and it gives her that confidence and courage she needs. The moment Chat Noir is okay, the first thing Ladybug does is run up and smack him, grabbing him anxiously saying "Seriously, you need to stop doing this to me!" The girl is stressed seeing her partner sacrifice himself time and again! IF THIS BOY DOESN'T REALIZE JUST HOW MUCH SHE CARES ABOUT HIM AT THIS POINT, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. Any fan that still thinks Ladybug doesn't love Chat Noir and thinks poorly of him, clearly does not understand it at all. My Ladynoir heart is SO HAPPY! I was thrilled with them in Truth, but this is a totally different level. I'm almost in tears with how happy I am. And then I noticed something. I don't know if it's anything or not. But Chat Noir says to her, "Yes, but it's because I find that angry look of yours irresistable." and Kagami turns around to look at him, only him and never Ladybug. Just watching him. Which is a bit... odd. "Ahh, Ladybug..." he sighs. After what

just happened, I don't blame him! x3 These two are honestly fire. When D'Argencort has to step in to keep Kagami from hurting Adrien during fencing... Doesn't matter how upset she is, that's gross to physically take it out on him to the point a teacher has to intervene. Kagami tells Adrien she knows he's hiding something, but that he's sincere, too. But when he asks if they can't be friends then, she responds, "How can you trust someone who lied to you?" and finally gives him back the lucky charm. Ever since Gorizilla, I've been worrying of him losing it for good! Glad she gave it back to him. I've said it already, but he's really going to lose that thing if he's not careful! "When I'm ready to see you again, I'll let you know." and she just leaves. I get she's upset, he's been lying to her to get away when he's with her and all that. But this is worse than what happened with Lukanette. Luka wanted to actually know what was going on, he asked Marinette about it directly. She told him honestly, it's the one thing she can't tell him. Kagami on the other hand never actually asked. During one of the scenes when he was spacing out, she asked what was the matter is all. All she's cared about is that he's lied, and now that he's lied she can't trust him. Doesn't even want to hear him out, not that he'd explain it to her. Kagami doesn't even want to see Adrien for awhile now. At least Luka's more understanding and isn't as harsh being in the exact same situation. This poor boy... But it's also for the best. Marinette and Adrien both after breaking up with Luka and Kagami, decided to transform and meet up to just be in each other's company. They're both sad, but not especially so. "Do you know what the difference is, between us and the rest of the world, m'lady? We can't be completely honest with each other. We have our secrets, and sometimes we have to lie." Ladybug frowning hums in agreement. But at the same time, they both turn to each other and say happily "But we know we can trust each other!" finishing with a pound-it! IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL AND MY HEART IS HAPPY After Truth, where Luka and Marinette were so sad and having a hard time, I really needed such an episode with such good Ladynoir! It really looks like the story is going in a really good direction, in my opinion. x3

#ml #miraculous ladybug #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #ml season 4 spoilers #ml spoilers season 4 #ml spoilers #lies spoilers #adrien agreste #ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #it took me HOURS to write this up so sorry it's late #if I could only pick one ship to ship in the entire show #it'd be ladynoir #if you couldn't tell

[kpopmakesmequestionmylifechoices]

Kingdom Round 3, pt. 2: How to discourage idols and kill versatility in K-pop - a guide by "experts".

As in my last post I'll talk about my thoughts on the performances, but mostly I'll question the freaking ranking because wth those experts should really reveal themselves at this point (I'm salty). Anyways, let's get into it.

1. A small "disappointment" and two big surprises.

ATEEZ: Oh guys the beginning made me emotional because it reminded me hardcore of Block B Very Good hahaha. Generally I must say, ATEEZ rearrangements are always good. It just sounded very ATEEZ-ish, and that's cool. I personally prefer the original Rhythm Ta over the rearrangement tho. About the performance, I don't have any criticism I think. I personally found that rope scene a bit strange tho, and overall I just wasn't impressed by that stage. Possibly because nothing can top the Symphony Nr.9 for me hahaha.

BTOB: First of all, SKZ X BTOB interactions are peak comedy I loved this so much. Minhyuk fangirling on SKZ back door stage is me tho. And "Kingdom is 15+ right?" Oh man I love those dudes.

About the concept, totally loved it because it was super fun to watch. I was worried beforehand because I couldn't imagine anyone pulling off SKZ' powerful rap. They didn't tho. They did it their own way and I was surprised. The meaning change to a more uh...mature sorta concept was also quite interesting. The moment Eunkwang knocked and opened the door: chefkiss. Those lyrics? Rude but chefkiss. I in general really liked the rearrangement, but in the end it lost its power a bit. Maybe also because I have the original Back Door burned into my brain and the ending just rocks af. But honestly, my brain also was fried by THIS:

[*my edit/gif - I made a full gifset in that style now]

Stray Kids: I must say, I was a bit scared before because anyone having to do a BTOB cover must have absolutely stable vocals. This was the stage I was most concerned about when I heard about the song choices. Without a reason. Because SKZ absolutely killed it. Sure, I.N didn't hit that note as it was planned but let me tell you, it didn't affect my enjoyment of this stage at all. The stage setting? Fantastic. Changbin's rap sounded as if he's in utter pain and despair, Felix added to that with his hyper low tone part which was ABSOLUTELY cool. This was just great, full of feels, and I have NO criticism, bye.

Recap: When thinking about the past 6 performances, I feel that ATEEZ and iKON did the best job with making the others' song their own. In my eyes, SF9 and TBZ both stayed in their comfort zone with their song choices, while BTOB and SKZ took on the extreme challenge to pick songs that are basically the opposite of what they usually do. As I Iove versatility and surprises, SKZ and BTOB have a special place in my heart with those two stages.

Hence, my personal ranking looks as follows:

1. BTOB & SKZ (tied): For me those were the biggest surprises and caused the biggest enjoyment and entertainment for me. If I HAD TO choose a first place, I'd pick BTOB - because Back Door is one of my FAVOURITE songs of all time, and solely evaluating the songs, I heavily prefer Back Door over I'll be your man. Anyways, with that ranking, SKZ jumped from my personal lowest rank in the first round to my personal highest rank.

2. SF9: After seeing SF9's stage last week, I was sure that I'll have them as #1 in today's post. I loved everything about the performance (besides the weird gun dance sry), and I especially loved how they stepped up their game without making the perfomance too huge and too overwhelming. Nevertheless, due to the fact they stayed pretty close to their usual style, I'll rank them 2nd because I was more impressed by the others' style change.

3. iKON / ATEEZ: The performances were good, but to me personally they were absolutely not memorable. It's a matter of taste after all.

4. TBZ: I know, I again rank them last. And again, no I don't hate them. I simply neither am touched by their stages, nor do I understand their plots. So I once again rank them last. I don't find their performances bad tho, because as all groups, they're doing an amazing job. The stages are simply not my cup of tea.

2. Oh you prove that you're a versatile artist? That must be punished!

↑ That's how I imagine the experts' thoughts. Expert ranking was as follows: ATEEZ / TBZ / iKON / SF9 / BTOB / SKZ.

Okay I must say. Which freaking expert would place SKZ last??? I'm not biased in the slightest, if I'm biased then for SF9 and BTOB, but bruh. SKZ last? That's like, ridiculous. Considering the immense challenge SKZ had from switching from their usual style to freaking I'll be your man?

I don't know man, I can't take this ranking seriously. I really wish we'd know what the criteria is...It's a mystery to me how this could happen. Those boys get punished for stepping out of their comfort zone and doing an amazing job? Literally same story with BTOB. Both groups completely stepped outta their comfort zone and that's what they got for it...Well done, experts, well done. This is how you destroy versatility in K-pop, but sure, go on.

Honestly at this point I hope stays and melodies work together to catapult both groups up in the ranking because this is just utter nonsense...

3. Ya all groups, why don't you support your exchange partners :')))))))

↑ This is me hysterically laughing and crying at the same time at the fact that they don't vote for each other. Groups' ranking was as follows: ATEEZ / SF9 / BTOB / iKON / SKZ / TBZ.

Honestly my only explanation for this result is that the groups don't vote for those people they see as their biggest opponents? It's weird man. I personally for example don't understand why the groups which exchange songs don't vote for each other? None of the performances was bad, and I think it's low-key a matter of respect to give the group you exchanged songs with one of your votes? Because after all they tried their best to present your song in a presentable way even tho it's not their own? Idk man. I don't like this weird feeling of "hostility". But might only be my own feeling idk hahahahaha.

Honestly I wish we'd get to see the groups' evaluation and reasoning behind their choices...

That was it from my side this week...As always, thanks for reading! As for next episode, I'm super excited to see proper interactions and them finally having fun...ouf and after all those years Minhyuk going back to vault jumping I'm hyped hahahah. And now I'll go rewatch SKZ and BTOB lol.

#mnet kingdom #kingdom legendary war #btob #stray kids #sf9 #ateez #ikon #the boyz #*mine

[turtle-steverogers]

(Wakanda stevebucky cont) and Bucky probs doesn't have his arm?? So it's like, they've both obviously changed a lot, and both of them are kind of bothered by it, but they both acknowledge that they still have each other, u know?? Idk this is getting real smoopy on me real fast

ok this ALSO started out as something different and then just turned into introspective fluffy as fuck stucky sooooo

-

“You still have my tags?”

Bucky looks up from where he’s trying to close the bread bag, plastic clenched between his teeth as he twists it around with his right hand. He secures the clip back onto the bag and shoves it back into the pantry, putting his bread into the toaster.

On his chest, Steve’s dog tags dangle.

Bucky’s gaze darts down to where a dog tag chain falls below the neckline of Steve’s shirt.

“You still have mine?”

Steve’s hand reflexively goes to his chest, fingers ghosting over where Bucky can see the outline of his tags through his shirt. He fiddles a little with the hem afterwards and Bucky finds himself smiling fondly. It’s nice to know that Steve’s little fidgety habits haven’t changed.

“I mean, yeah,” Steve says, like there’s no reason he shouldn’t still have Bucky’s tags from that night they exchanged them in a foxhole in France. Fellas like them couldn’t have rings to seal the deal in those times, but there was something inherently final about the trade-- like they were dancing with death and love in equal measures, trusting that they’d come back to each other if the tags ever lived up to their purpose.

They have, Bucky realizes. They’ve come back to each other.

Bucky quirks an eyebrow, amused as his bread pops out of the toaster. “Well, there you go,” he says. Steve wordlessly passes him the almond butter.

“Oh, but-- did they let you keep the tags?” It’s a blunt question and there’s no need to ask who ‘they’ are, but Bucky’s honestly grateful that Steve never seems to doubt his ability to handle these kinds of conversations. He thinks he’d tear his hair out if Steve thought him fragile or something. They both know he’ll say something if he doesn’t want to talk about it-- Steve would do the same with his own slew of bullshit.

“No,” he says simply, and he remembers realizing that that was only the start of Hydra ripping away his autonomy-- identity. And it hurt something awful to watch them take his last line to Steve aside from the goddamn piece of his soul that they couldn’t touch. “But I managed to steal them back sometime in the 90s. I didn’t know why they were important, but I knew I needed them.”

Steve hums, but Bucky can tell he’s formulating his next question.

Sure enough, a moment later, he’s hopping up onto the counter and asking, “What are the goddamn odds?”

And okay, they’re addressing the fucking insanity that is their goddamn life together. Bucky hesitates around his toast, almond butter dripping down his wrist. He goes to wipe his mouth with his other hand before he remembers it’s not there anymore.

“Low,” he says matter of factly.

Steve laughs and reaches out to Bucky, only to steal a bite of his toast. Bucky huffs, but moves into the space between his thighs anyway. Steve wraps his legs around his waist and Bucky feels something in his chest settle-- a puzzle piece falling back into place like it does every time he has Steve Rogers in his orbit.

“No, but seriously,” Steve says, taking another bite. Bucky rolls his eyes, because Steve’s definitely just doing that to be annoying. He doesn’t even like almond butter. Or honey-wheat bread for that matter. “I used to wonder who the hell we pissed off in our last life to hand us such shitty cards, but now we’re here… together… and I never quite know what to think.”

Bucky chews thoughtfully and shoves the rest of his toast in his mouth before Steve can steal another bite. He wraps his arm around Steve’s waist and pats his butt affectionately.

“Me neither, for what it’s worth,” Bucky admits. “And it’s hard, because we’re so goddamn blessed to be here in so many ways, but the shit we went through to get here…”

“I don’t always think it was worth it,” Steve says and yeah, that’s what Bucky couldn’t quite get himself to say. “I wish you didn’t have to go through what you did--”

“--And I wish you didn’t have to fucking die--”

“--But it’s not even…” Steve’s eyes wander and he fiddles with his dog tag chain again. Bucky kind of wants to take his hands and kiss them-- he loves Steve’s artist hands. “It’s not that what we went through was worth it, but there’s so many what ifs and… and I’m just glad that we’re here now. With each other. In this moment.”

Bucky softens and he shifts forward to kiss Steve’s nose and brush his fingers over his lower back, making him squirm. “Yeah, that’s-- that’s a really great way to put it,” he says. There’s a vulnerability thrumming between them and Bucky lets it drive him forward, baring his back. “I used to worry that you’d be thrown off by how much I’ve changed.”

Steve cocks his head and studies him for a moment. “I changed too,” he points out. “We’ve changed. How I think of us has changed. I think that’s okay, though. We were always bound to change with time… we just had a unique way of doing so.”

Bucky breaks into a grin. “My goddamn optimist,” he says fondly. “Least that hasn’t changed.”

Steve blushes all the way down his chest and Bucky finally gives into the urge to kiss him soundly on the lips.

“That full body blush ain’t changed either,” Bucky whispers and Steve huffs, kicking him lightly on the thighs where his legs are still wrapped around his waist.

“Shut up,” Steve murmurs, then tilts his head into the kiss, deepening it.

“Gladly,” Bucky says and hauls him closer, letting their bodies slot into place. Right where they’re meant to be.

-

thanks for reading, y'all

#stucky #stucky fic #bucky barnes #steve rogers #marvel #marvel shit #ok thats the last fic tn #i promise

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Ngl, the Nadia anons and fic have me in a Nadia mood. Can we get a fic where MC and Vivienne aren't dating, but Nadia thought they were and finds out they aren't, so she tries winning over MC, and MC is both wary and slightly charmed, despite the entire Poppy being exasperated, and finally agrees to a date? It could be a follow on from the other fic or it's own thing. (If you receive this ask twice please ignore the 2nd one, tumblr gave a bad request message for the first so idk if you got it)

Pairing with: “Can we have a Nadia stalking mc instead of Vivienne? Getting intrigued by the mc and then wanting her to join her instead“

...

Written by @an-awkward-ghost

“I’m a bit confused.”

The voice is firm, perhaps even a bit harsh, and it has Nadia instantly on edge. Were it not for the small, almost imperceptible hint of playfulness, the blond thief would have already brandished her knife. Instead, she just freezes there, wide eyed, letting the voice wash over her and awaken a torrent of feelings she had buried deep within her. Emotions only brought problems, only made her pick all the wrong options. She couldn’t trust something as fickle as that. She knew that. Well. At least she thought she knew that.

Yet here she is, eagerly spinning around after a moment’s hesitation, seeking the owner of that sweet, sweet, harsh voice.

It had only been a month, but Karina seemed to have changed drastically. Gone was the insecure little girl she had been, wrapped in Vivienne’s shadow. Now she stood strong and unflinching just a few meters away, shoulders thrown back in attempt to look taller, brown eyes calculating Nadia’s every movement like a predator. One wrong move, and it was over.

Nadia didn’t want to underestimate a woman like Karina ever again.

“You said you weren’t after Vivienne anymore… but here you are anyway.” Her eyes flickered up and down, her expression softening with a small, unconcerned smile. It didn’t look cocky, nor did it look happy. It was teasing, meant to irritate Nadia to her very core, but she found she couldn’t quite look at it without feeling butterflies rise. It was unfair. Nadia pursed her lips and looked away, and Karina continued. “What am I supposed to think?”

She felt like she had been put under a microscope, left there to be picked apart by the artist.

“It… was a coincidence?” She finally said, voice surprisingly steady despite the turmoil of emotions she was experiencing.

Karina hummed. “Yeah, I don’t really believe in coincidences and that only leaves me with plenty of creepy alternatives. You might want to explain yourself.”

“I didn’t know you would come here next.” Nadia forced herself to meet her gaze, half-wishing she could just burn the butterflies in her stomach so she could actually concentrate, half-berating herself for not realizing where her true affections laid sooner. “I had planned to stay away from you – that’s why I decided to come here in the first place.”

“Sure. Awfully close to our next target, too. How convenient.”

Frustration could not begin to convey what Nadia was feeling right now. Hot-headed indignation, barely held at bay by the cold, murky feeling of rejection. Her hands closed into fists, then opened, then closed again in quick motions, as if she were trying to grasp her conflicting feelings and bury them even deeper.

“I didn’t even know you had a target here.” She spat at last, scowling. “Look, I won’t get in between your relationship with Vivienne anymore. I won’t even stay here, if it bothers you so much. I could probably pick the next flight to–”

“My relationship?”

“Yes, your– why are you looking at me like that?” It takes a few seconds. Nadia has never had so many conflicting feelings in her entire life. There’s the bubbly, blissful hope that lifts her spirits and spreads over her whole body like a blanket of pure joy, warm and fuzzy, but there’s also the sinking, bitter sensation of a misunderstanding. Of not reading the room correctly, despite that being Nadia’s forte. “You aren’t dating Vivienne.”

Karina’s smile seems a little less detached, bordering on genuine. “It’s true I had some interest in her at the beginning, but I quickly realized a relationship wasn’t the best choice. Hey, maybe we should start a club or something! God knows there’s enough people interested in Vivienne to get plenty of members.”

“Then… but she didn’t– you were jealous!”

“Yeah, I can’t deny that.” A sheepish shrug. “But in my defense, who wouldn’t be?”

Nadia takes a deep breath. “You were jealous.” She repeats, more to herself than to Karina. She’s trying to make this whole situation make sense. “Of Vivienne…? Because I was giving attention to her.”

A light blush that might be Nadia’s imagination appears on Karina’s face. “I think we might be getting off topic here. You, uh, you said you were going to leave?”

“I was, but there’s no way I’m doing that after this revelation.” After a month of aimlessly swimming through the situation, Nadia finally thinks she might have found her footing. She smirks. “You are interested in me.”

Karina looks her up and down again, wary. “Was. You know, before I found out you are an obsessive asshole.”

“Believe me, I’ve learnt my lesson. I’ll respect your boundaries.” She takes a few steps closer. Karina seems rooted in place, body angling towards the end of the alleyway they are in, but making no move to leave. “But I can’t let this chance slip me by.”

“Chance? So because you couldn’t get Vivienne, now you are after me?”

“Ah…” Nadia hesitates, all confidence wavering. The other woman narrows her eyes. “No. No, I…” The words were right there. Somehow, they wouldn’t come out.

“You…?

“It’s just. I didn’t– I…” She lets out a small grunt of frustration. “I wasn’t interested in her. I thought I was. Turns out she wasn’t the one that interested me at all.”

“But then… why did you…” A beat, and Karina’s eyes widen. “You were projecting your feelings onto her.”

“Yes. And now that it’s come out into the open that you are also interested-”

“Was. I was interested. Past tense. Nadia, I’m saying no. Can you respect that, please?”

Nadia pursed her lips, feeling her good mood dissipate. This was what had ruined her chances in the past, her near violent approach. She backed the subject of her interest to a corner where they would have no other choice but to pick her, because the alternative was even worse.

That’s not something she wanted for Karina. Whatever this affection was, it felt far more fragile and precious than any of her other obsessions.  Far more real. Worth treasuring. Nadia wasn’t sure she could even call this feeling ‘an obsession’.

She couldn’t force something like this. She didn’t want to.

“I understand.” She said. “And you have every right to say no, but I want you to give me a chance to prove that I’ve changed.” That had been mostly thanks to the sheer number of sleepless nights she had had, just thinking about everything. Her ideology and how it clashed with the Poppy’s, mainly. That was why she had scrapped the video her crew was working on, why she had put on hold the heists they had planned.

She knew she still had a long way to go, but she was willing and raging to go. A change was long overdue.

“Just one chance. I won’t let it go to waste.”

…

“It was creepy enough when it was Vivienne, but I didn’t expect to endure this type of thing again.” Zoe holds up a gift for everyone to see with a small grimace. Jett takes one look at it and whistles in appreciation.

“Those are some quality paints, alright. You’re going to have a field day with those, Kar.”

“Who said I was going to use them?”

“So I can throw them out or-”

“What? No! Zoe, don’t!”

Vivienne smirks from where she is curled up on the couch, amusement crinkling in her eyes. “Now this is a development, thought I can’t say it was unexpected.” The mirth dies down soon enough. To anyone else she’d look composed, detached, but the members of the Poppy know her well enough to detect the hint of worry clouding her expression. “How do you feel about this, Karina? Would you like us to handle it?”

“I can think of a few ways that might be effective.” Leon adds, from the other side of the room, a frown firmly in place.

“She just can’t give up, can she?” Remy huffs. “First Vivienne, now Karina… When do you think you’ll have your turn, Zoe?”

Zoe gives him a dry look. “Never. Not if I can help it. But seriously Kar, what do we do? If I have to see another gift from that woman, I swear-”

“No, no, it’s okay.”

The living room is always alive with noise when the Poppy gathers in it, sharing laughs, the atmosphere light and welcoming. All of that skids to an abrupt stop as soon as Karina has finished talking. Silence reigns so perfectly it becomes deafening, all eyes on her, searching, prodding, as if they were trying to find out when Karina had been replaced by some kind of impostor.

The artist laughs. “Seriously. Just give me at least a week with her. I want to see something.”

“Something?” Nikolai repeats, one of his eyebrows so far up into his hairline Karina is almost expecting it to fall off. “Not that I don’t trust your judgement, but you must remember who we are talking about. One week is plenty of time for her to kill you.”

“One week.” Karina says again, resolute. “That is all I ask.”

The rest of the Poppy sputters in a chaos of half-shouted reasons why this won’t work, and half-muttered inquiries regarding Karina’s sanity. She takes it all in stride, mostly because they aren’t telling her anything new, something she hadn’t considered before making the decision. Curiosity kills the cat, some say, and Karina is definitely curious to see how much Nadia has allegedly changed.

…

“I’m definitely surprised this time.”

Nadia gives her a curious look, her smirk firmly in place. The confidence she exudes is something that had interested Karina from the moment she had first seen the blonde woman, an unhinged storm worth admiring from a distance.

She had certainly mellowed out. There was still a dangerous undertone to her every action, but it was more controlled. Karina wasn’t naive, she knew Nadia could still kill people if she wanted to, probably with no remorse whatsoever, but she had the impression she would at least consider other alternatives before rushing in for the kill. Nadia hadn’t been lying – she had changed.

Or she was a really good actress, but Karina was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

“I didn’t think you’d have such a drastic change in just one month.”

Blue eyes shimmer with delight. Nadia practically preens.

“I’m full of surprises. You’d better get used to that.”

“Good! That just means I won’t get bored anytime soon.”

“I’ll ensure you don’t.”

The chill of the night makes for an excellent excuse to get closer, not that Nadia really needs it. She moves closer to her in one smooth movement, but Karina catches the look the blonde woman sends her way, making sure she’s not overstepping any boundaries. It’s a sweet gesture, something she wouldn’t have expected from Nadia in the past.

They’re on top of the Eiffel Tower. Leon is somewhere near, out of sight, and Karina can just imagine him staring at them from wherever he is with a concerned frown, ready to intervene at any sign of trouble. But nothing of the sort happens. Instead, Karina stands there, transfixed by the anecdotes Nadia is telling her, eyes tracking her every movement with a shocked wonder she hadn’t felt before. There had been a spark with Vivienne, all those months ago, when the Poppy had recruited her, but nothing like the emotion she feels now. There’s a raging fire somewhere in her soul she had ignored until now, emboldened by Nadia’s smile, by her touch, by her mere presence.

And when the date comes to an end, and she stands inches away, blue eyes searching hers for permission?

Karina can only nod, eyes fluttering shut as Nadia slips one finger under her chin, directing her face up, expression softening as she leans in.

She feels like she is on cloud nine.

#Anonymous #answered #contination #lovestruck #lovestruck qot #lovestruck mc #lovestruck nadia #nadia x mc #qot mc #qot nadia #fluff #touching thursday

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 2

Hello @camsthisky and anyone else who cares! I do apologize for the delay on this post--it has only been 84 years since Part I of my kdrama recs, I know, and I thought about going for a full century but this is me finding a way to de-stress after watching the first episode of I-Land alkdjfadlksj I’m gonna die of heartbreak but whatever

Speaking of heartbreak, there is a lot to be found in Korea’s wonderful historical dramas, so like, be warned—or, if you are an angst-loving monster like me, settle down for hot guys and good cries

Let us begin! (or, if you want romantic modern dramas see Part 1)

1. Scarlet Heart Ryeo/Moonlovers: 

aha ahahahahahaha *weeps* You may have heard people talk about this show. You may have heard ME talk about this show. This thing was my first kdrama ever and it RUINED ME 

Disclaimer: I have seen this show once and rewatched it twice and on the rewatches I can never quite make myself watch the last 4 or 5 episodes because things get tragic and messy and I get mad. HOWEVER there is a lot of good in the first part of the show and because this thing was all the rage in everywhere but Korea itself, there’s like over 300 fanfic for it and several good fix-its, including one by my good friend @thelonelybrilliance

Ok so anyway this show which could also be called An Abundance of Princes starts with a young woman from modern times getting thrown back into ancient Goryeo during an eclipse and finds herself in the body of Hae Soo, the cousin of the wife of one of the princes, and thus she gets embroiled in royal affairs which are, quite frankly, a mess. See, the evil eyeliner prince (whom I love even when he’s the worst) is plotting with his mom to get the Crown Prince out of the way aka dead BUT who should return to the Palace but the 4th Prince, Wang So, who has spent at least half his life living as hostage to a powerful family. 

So has a scar that cuts across his eye and which in this society makes him a horror to look at or smthing idk he just looks extra hot to me but anyway he wears a mask and is known as the wolf dog (or as the MURDER ANGST CUPCAKE thanks @abadpoetwithdreams). He might seem a little rough around the edges at first because his life has been hell but he really just wants to love and be loved okay people need to be nice to him wtf

Other princes include: 

    1.  the Crown Prince, Wang Mu, a good egg, not particularly charismatic but he tried to protect his lil bro when no one else would

    2.  the 8th prince, Wang Wook, who reminds me of a fellow named Shane and I don’t mean the cowboy

    3.  the 10th prince, Wang Eun, a dumb adorable spoiled bby (played by Baekhyun from EXO)

    4.  the 13th prince, Baek Ah, a tol soft boi, an artist, a BAE, a BRO, a SHIPPER ON DECK

    5.  the 14th prince, Wang Jung this son will fight everyone he’ll fight himself he just loves to fight! Not always wise but he’s a good boy and I like him a lot 

    6.  just realized I skipped the 9th prince but nobody cares 

One quick note is that IU plays Hae Soo, and I enjoy her a lot in the first half of the show where she is still spunky and rebellious...sadly her character kind of falls apart/gets too weak for my liking as the episodes progress

The MAIN reason why I feel it my duty to recommend this show to everyone despite the fact I have never met anyone who wasn’t traumatized by it is LEE JOON GI

Yes, this man:

 I mentioned him in the previous rec post—he played Bong Sang Pil in Lawless Lawyer (AND IS NOW CURRENTLY STARRING IN FLOWER OF EVIL WHICH WILL BE ON ANOTHER POST AHDFOIASDHGALDSKJF FRIQ I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN) 

BUT SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIS PHOENIX EYES!!! HIS RAZOR SHARP FEATURES! HIS BIG ADORABLE EARS! HIS BEAUTIFUL EXCESSIVE BANGS! 4TH PRINCE WANG SO LOVE OF MY LIFE

SOMEONE PROTECT THIS BBY

2. Hwarang: Ok so right off the bat I am going to smack down a disclaimer that I can’t stand the female lead. TRULY CANNOT. Thus, I don’t like the romance, and only care about the love triangle as far as it just shows how sad and lonely one of the guys is. (Also there are scenes of dumb old men plotting and I don’t like them either). At the end of the show, I am happy that the one guy is NOT stuck with the female lead as his wife. Good for you sir

Sounds like a show to steer clear of then, right? WRONG. This is a show that you skip through because the scenes that are good? Are GREAT

Picture this: It is the Silla era of Korea, and the queen is ruling as regent in place of her son, who has been hiding all his life because everyone wants to kill him. Well, son is now grown and must soon come into the light and take the throne. Queen who both wants her son as king but also really likes being queen decides to do everyone a favor and form an elite fighting squad out of all the prettiest and most talented sons of nobles in the land, with the idea that they will be loyal only to the throne, and thereby keep their dads from plotting to destroy everything. 

Let me tell you something, these ARE the prettiest boys in the land. Good hair, good jawlines, beautiful smiles—the cast lineup includes Park Hyung Sik and his cute lil elf ear, Park Seo Joon, Taehyung (yes from BTS!), and Choi Minho from Shinee, plus two other actors who are lesser known but who are drop-dead gorgeous. Anyway. Sorry, but they really are all beautiful. 

The fun thing is they don’t all get along right away, a few of them are VERY much opposed to the other for various reasons, but they all have to bond and become brothers in arms. And what they don’t know is that the real king snuck in and is one of them. 10/10 I would die for the boys! (also Tae has an older half-brother who is a lower rank than him but whom he looks up to and that makes for cuteness and pain) Once you skip the boring or annoying parts of the show, the rest has so much delight, laughter, and oops pain, lots of pain. I want to go re-watch. 

Two other things I should mention about the show: a super soft side romance between secondary characters and a game of, as they call it in the show, HOT SOCCER 

^pretty boy 1 (with the cute elf ear sadly on the other side of his head)

^pretty boy 2 (sad cheekbone bby) and pretty boy 3 (happy cheekbone bby)

^pretty boy 4 (the prettiest of them all, and he knows it!)

^pretty boy 5 (aka Taehyung danced around the set of a historical drama and made everyone adopt him as their bby) 

3. Faith/The Great Doctor: This is a longer kdrama at 24 episodes and they didn’t have much of a budget so special effects aren’t the best or anything but I just got really attached to all the characters? This is another modern girl goes back in time but UNLIKE SHR it actually has a happy ending, so if you need a historical drama cleanse after that tearjerker/enrager, this could be it for you

Eun Soo has to navigate the ancient kingdom, keep people believing she is a heavenly doctor with special powers, and keep Choi Young alive so he can fulfill his promise of returning her to her own time. The problem with that is Choi Young does have kind of a death wish because of reasons—

Eun Soo is a plastic surgeon who would really like a rich handsome husband one day but them’s the breaks for you, aka she has had no luck in that department. Back in ancient Korea, Choi Young (played by Lee Minho in sadly the only role I really love him in) is a high-ranking beloved captain who can fall asleep anywhere. Oh he can also make electricity with his hands! :D

The story begins when the sleepy sad captain tries to escort the new king and queen to their palace. This was during the time period when ancient Korea was basically a puppet kingdom/tributary of ancient China (Yuan). The king (who is very smol and lacks confidence, but still has a good heart for his country) lived as a hostage in Yuan for many years, and his wise tol queen is a princess of that land, and someone needs to sit them down and make them talk because they actually love each other a lot. Anyway, when the queen gets injured by assassins, Choi Young goes searching for a legendary doctor, winds up in modern Korea, and steals both Eun Soo and a SWAT shield, because hey, it looked cool I guess

Lots of fun things in the show: Choi Young has a crew of soldiers who are BEYOND loyal to him, and while he doesn’t think much of the king at first because he’s been burned by kings before, they slowly become bros and shippers on deck for each other. Eun Soo does not lose her spunk or loyalty unlike other people I could mention *cough*HaeSoofromScarletHeartRyeo*, and it cracks me up when she curses people out. There are also a bunch of people (mostly bad guys) running around with special powers or gifts, including a flame lady and a flute boy, and the latter wears delightful anime wigs, keeps his sword in his flute, and plays his flute to kill—literally! I love flute boy very much 

sorry it’s black and white but DO YOU SEE THE SWAT SHIELD

4. My Country: A New Age:

ANGST ANGST ANGST PAAAAAIN BUT ALSO BEST INTRO BEST FAVES BEST ACTORS

Picture this: two young men, who both hail from childhoods of trauma, who grew up together and are best friends, and who are tragically forced apart and end up on opposite sides of a conflict that threatens to upend the current rule of the kingdom. This IS the star-crossed brotp you’ve been waiting for!

Seo Hwi is the son of a general who died a criminal, and all he wants is to live simply and earn enough rice take care of his younger sister, who has seizures and a sweet crush on Hwi’s bestie. Hwi is the best softest most loyal boy with a good and true heart, a great deal of courage, and a talent for wielding a sword, and just wait till you see the best one-shot fight scene ever of him in battle, it is INCREDIBLE! (He is played by Yang Se Jong, who I now want to see more of) Hwi has an abundance of charisma points in that he picks up a small band of loyal soldier friends and they become the best little found family, lots of brotp-ness in this crew—do not mess with any of them because they will all FIGHT you

Seon Ho meanwhile is the illegitimate despised son of a powerful nobleman, only tolerated because the legitimate son died. Seon Ho loves his friend and is very protective of his friend’s little sister who crushes on him but his dad is a high class grade A power-hungry jerk and that causes complications of course. Seon Ho also has a good heart, he’s a gentle soul really, but he always gets stuck in bad positions and unfortunately makes a couple of difficult/bad choices so he hardens himself as much as he can but the consequences always kill him and he just wants to save his friends and destroy his dad and the stupid hierarchy that treats bastards as lesser. WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? 

Seon Ho he is played by Woo Do Hwan who has so much talent I die so many times over in this show just because of the way he portrays Seon Ho like that sad sad boy is one of my favorite characters evER! Is he problematic? At times maybe but I am HERE for him he just needs LOVE AND AFFECTION AND AN ABUNDANCE OF GOOD FRIENDS BUT INSTEAD (SOMETIMES THRU HIS OWN FAULT BUT HE ADMITS THAT) HE JUST SUFFERS AND SO I SUFFERRRR

*grabs a towel and dries up my tears*

Hwi also falls in love with a woman named Hui Jae (or was it Hee Jae i can’t remember) and they are very cute together, she’s pretty cool but the show’s one failing is arguably that they kind of underuse her in the plot as the story goes on? But I still like her and she still has a good role, and she is both brave and kind and not afraid to step in or tell people off, also keep a weather eye open for patching up scenes! 

Oh yeah, eVERYONE in this gets hurt/stabbed/shot/bloody, such a shame they have to take their shirts off to clean and bandage the wounds ;)

Last character I must mention is Bang Won, played by Jang Hyuk in his second interpretation of the historical figure. Bang Won is the fifth? son of the guy who becomes emperor/king, and he has his own plans for the country, so when Hwi catches his eye, he recruits him to his cause.  What you need to know about him is that he has issues with his dad, is slightly unhinged, and cannot and should not be parted from the fan that he constantly carries around with him. Gotta say, Jang Hyuk is FANTASTIC (heheheheheheh) in the role, able to convey all kinds of emotion in the rise and fall of his voice, in the tilt of his head, the tears of his eyes, the flick of his fan. Give this actor all the awards! 

To sum up: if you like to cry for days after watching a drama, if you like excellent heart-wrenching brotps, if you like conflicted characters, if you like amazing music and setting and plot, if you like guys with good hair and arm muscles (and 

abs, thank you shirtless scenes what) this show is a Must Watch 

DID I SAY STAR-CROSSED BROTP I MEANT SWORD-CROSSED BROTP ADKJFADLSKJFLKJDFALKDGKLJL </3

~

Ok I was going to leave the historical drama post at this for now but...I’m going to cheat a little and include the one historical C!drama I just finished.Yes folks I am talking about:

5. Nirvana in Fire:

Ok so maybe the switch from kdrama to cdrama makes you uncertain. Maybe the fact that this show has FIFTY-FOUR EPISODES makes you go hell no I don’t have enough time for that. Well if you overlook this show for those reasons, you are making, and I do not exaggerate, the greatest mistake of your show-watching life!

Look, first, this drama has one of the best, most intricate, most satisfying plots in history, with like 20 characters you would die for, and second, the episodes are only about 42 minutes each, which is shorter than most kdrama episodes, so you can deal.

Once upon a time there was a general/family who were just too good to exist in corrupt old China, so naturally they were framed for treason and there was a giant massacre and everybody died, including the eldest prince who was like um dad maybe this is all a horrible mistake and the king was like no u are the mistake. Sad times.

One of the many younger princes named Jing (A NOBLE HEART, if not always the cleverest) returns home from wherever he was, finds out that not only did his prince brother die, but so did his best friend/brother in the whole wide world, Lin Shu, son of the general. Because he insists on the innocence of said bros/family, Jing becomes an outcast prince and is shuffled off to fight in wars where he can’t cause any trouble. Meanwhile, Princess Nihuang, Lin Shu’s brave, awesome, amazing, wise, incredible girlfriend, refuses to marry anyone else, and because she is too cool to be messed with, nobody tries to banish her

Cut to I think eleven years later, when the two most powerful princes are vying to be the crown prince and heir to the throne. They both try to recruit the aid of a renowned clever and sassy strategist named Mei Changsu, to help them with plotting and PR and such.

Well little do they know that Mei Changsu is actually the not-dead Lin Shu, with a completely new face (for reasons), and that Mei Changsu is a chess master setting up a long con for the dual purpose of obtaining revenge/justice for the dead and of raising Prince Jing to the throne, since Prince Jing is the only man with a good enough heart and strong enough will to make China a better place for all the people. But just to make it hard on everybody, Mei Changsu is dead set on not telling anyone who he really is—again, for reasons. He is not always successful in keeping his secret.

I literally don’t know what else to say because there is so MUCH to say, so many characters to love, and I mean LOVE. How do you get a cast this good? How is everyone so different yet so important? How do you feel bad for the emperor even when he’s slimy? How do you have to stop yourself from rooting for the prince who would destroy some of your faves? I can’t praise the charisma and acting talent in this show enough! And the music! IS GORGEOUS!

1 strategist too sassy for his own good and too clever for everyone else’s good + 1 prince who loves his mom and his dead best friend and his dead older brother more than anything else in the world + 1 gentle wise mom + 1 eternally loyal princess who would defend her loved ones with the sword if necessary + 1 sassy Elrond healer man + 1 grumpy sulky baby who loves being a better fighter than almost everyone + 1 loyal to the death, brave badass general who is going to have a stress breakdown if the strategist doesn’t take better care of himself + not 1 but 2 good boys who deserve to be protected but who are willing to throw themselves into battle if necessary + 1 antagonist tiger prince who I love and am not ashamed to say it = THE BEST OF TIMES

^he hardly ever wears his hair down but when he does <33333333

*checks calendar* how soon is too soon rewatch something, asking for a friend

#kdrama recommendations #scarlet heart ryeo #hwarang #faith: the great doctor #my country: the new age #nirvana in fire #my kdrama recs #historical kdramas #plus one cdrama #i went overboard on gifs sorry not sorry

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #423

“i won’t think about you when i’m older  /  ‘cuz we never really had our closure”

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? Neither. Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? No. Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? My late grandmother's husband stayed overnight when he was driving from New York to Florida or the other way around, idr. How many long term relationships have you been in? Two. Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? My snake's heat lamp stays on. Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? My dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I don't think I've even heard one of her songs. Do you know your blood type? A-. Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. Have you got your period at the moment? I haven't had my period since I started TMS. It's honestly so fucking frustrating that it obviously had an effect on my body, but not my depression. I've officially finished TMS as of a few days ago and now I just feel so void of hope. Have you ever been pregnant? No. How old were you when you first went on a plane? Idr, I was a little kid. Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Not me personally, but my parents have for my education that I threw away. Are both of your blood parents still in your life? Yes. I don't see my dad a lot, but he's still in my life regardless. When was the last time you went apple picking? I’ve never been. Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? Happiness. Have you ever been drunk at school or work? I have not. How many bedrooms are in your house? Three. Are you smart about computers? Not really, no. Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? Yes. My sister loved them, so we have a few. Do you own a Xbox 360? No. I'm a PlayStation girl. Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? No. I'd be mortified. So, do you need a nap? I really should take one. I slept like... maybe three hours last night. I was up most of the night having a fucking life crisis. What would you rather be doing? Something fun. What sport are you the best at? I haven't touched any sort of sport since I was a teenager. Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Yeah, Nicole. Do you complain a lot? Kind of, but I generally try to keep it in surveys nowadays. I'm just tired of shit. Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? Ohhh, tough pick, but I've gotta say the ancient temple. Do you like fruity or minty gum? Both, really. Are you looking forward to any day of this month? Well July is practically over, so I'll answer for August. I'm looking forward to my nephew's birthday. Have you ever gotten detention? A few times for getting too many morning tardies in high school. Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? Definitely. Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? The latter. Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? Powerwolf did recently. Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I could write a college-length essay on why meerkats do not make good pets whatsoever. Do fucking not get one. I can barely fathom how it's legal in some countries. Ever cried so much you threw up? No, but I've gagged. Who is your best guy friend? Girt. What do you two do when you hang out? Mostly just watch TV and play board games. What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? I dunno, really. Do you even like horror movies? I love horror movies. Do you live in the country? I wish I still did. :/ Me and Mom hate hate hate living in these suburbs. What is your favorite accent? British. Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? No. Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? Coke. Pepsi is gross. What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? I was literally in the psych hospital for my 21st birthday lmao. It's kind of a painful memory, but I also won't forget the love and kindness people showed me. I especially remember the friend I made there getting the lunch lady to literally go and buy me a slice of cake. Everyone also sang happy birthday to me and gaaaah I'm getting emotional. Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? That was my dad's drink of choice when he drank. Do you take a lot of pictures? Unless I have my camera and am somewhere pretty, no. What kind of face wash do you use? Water, lol. Does drama always seem to follow you? Nah. Does anybody in your family race? No. Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom. How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” Uhhh... I want to say $2 or something? I might be way off, idr. How long do you want to live with your parents? I WISH I could have moved out with an s/o already, but that's just not how life's worked out. Do you have a laptop or desktop? I have a laptop. Do you like your parents? I love them. Do you secretly like someone? It's not a secret, no. Would you ever date your best male friend? Tried that once and it didn't work out. I liked him more as like a brother. What are you currently listening to? "Better Than Me" by Hinder. I really need to turn it off, but I can't make myself. Do you want to be single? I really wish I had a partner to love and motivate me to strive to do better, but I know it's better I'm single right now. I'd just relive the Jason situation, I'm sure. I'd just drag the person down and lose them. Did you go out or stay in last night? I'm almost always at my fucking house not doing shit, so. Have you pretended to like someone? No, that sounds pretty stupid... How is your heart lately? Hurting. A lot. Are you wearing socks? I hate wearing socks and I'm in bed anyway, so no. What do people call you? Britt, mostly. Do you get stressed out easily? VERY. Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? No. What is wrong with you right now? Where the hell to begin. Do you own something from Hot Topic? A lot. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone, so long as the bed is big enough to comfortably fit two of us. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. I'm certain he wants nothing to do with me. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Sadly. Did you get any compliments today? Definitely not. I look and feel like a wreck right about now. There's nothing to praise me about. Have you ever gone to a beach? Many times. What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? Unless it was an edible, no. I'd do almost anything to try and make me feel better right now, even if just for a little while, but I'm unwilling to smoke anything. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? HELL no. Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Honestly, no. Do you have long nails? No; I never do because I have an awful habit of picking at them. Do you like the gender you are? I don't like or dislike it, honestly. I'm just neutral. Do you generally look nice in photos? HA. Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? No. What colour are your father’s eyes? They're dark brown. If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? Ozzy, duh. Name three facts about your family? We're very, very spread out geographically, some of us (in other words, me) are emotionally distant, and uh... idk. Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? Only if it was a certain person, our lives were more on track, and we were making plans for either of us to move soon. What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received? Probably this really long letter my mom wrote for me on my bday a couple years ago. What’s your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? I played the flute for many years, all through middle school and through much of high school. Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? Carve pumpkins, for sure. Do you think you’re important? I don't fucking know. Probably not. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Idk. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? *hands over thick book* Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. My hands are way, way too shaky to ever accomplish that. Are you more of a leader or a follower? Definitely a follower, but I can step up in certain situations. What was the first thing you ate today? Well, I was seriously depression-eating last night, way past midnight, and had a peanut butter sandwich. If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? LET'S NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT RIGHT NOW. If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? "Falling apart." I've lost direction, motivation, strength, hope, just everything. What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? I need a fucking shower so bad that it's embarrassing. I just can't move. I have no energy, emotionally or physically. I just can't make myself do it. Is there anything that you wish you could take back? So, so badly. What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? Actually reaching goals. Losing weight. Healing my legs. Knowing with certainty that I wasn't emotionally abusive to Jason. Moving out of this town and back into the country. Financial stability. A job I thoroughly enjoy. I could go on, but let's not. If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? God, let me take back shit I said in that fucking letter to you-know-who. It's so hard to believe I once thought it perfectly justified and realistic. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I don't have any plans of changing the style in the foreseeable future. I want to color it BADLY. To just SOMETHING. Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? I'm like, a lightning-fast typist. Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ No; my best friend in HS was, though. Her GPA was fucking insane. I was in the top percentile, though, so I was up there. What the hell happened to that girl. How many drugs are in your system? If we're including prescriptions, a whole hell of a lot. What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? Jack shit. Like usual. Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. Do you call anyone baby? Excluding my pets, no. What’s your current mood? lol if you've gotten this far reading, you can make an educated guess. Do you think you are a good person? Bro I just don't know. What were you doing before filling out this survey? I was playing WoW. How late did you stay up last night? Like, 4:30 or so. When was the last time you cried really hard? I wanna say like a week ago? Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No. It still badly needs a trim, though.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''better than me'' by hinder

[inagetawaycarxo]

Wish You Were Mine | Tom Holland Ft.Harry Styles

— Tom Holland jealous of y/n bc she's seeing a guy (maybe one of his friends? Idk), they argued and in the middle of the fight, he kisses her with passion (cheesy, I know) and declares his feelings for her -Anon

Pairings: Tom Holland x Reader, Harry Styles x Reader

Featuring: Harry Styles, Your Makeup artist, Harrison Osterfield, Tom Holland, Y/n (Reader).

Summary: Tom finally tells y/n how he feels about her. But does she feel the same way.

WARNINGS: drama, angst, so grab them tissues, kissing, cheating, Jealous!Tom, nothing to life-threatening, everyone's hearts get broken, Tom being a little asshole.

Word Count:1269

NOTE: I added Harry Styles, cause I'm kind of a hoe for harry. Anyways sorry this took forever

Toms jaw clenched as he watched you throw your head back. The corner of your eyes were crinkled. Nose scrunching slightly. As you laughed at something Harry had told you. Tom's eyes narrowed, as he watched Harry pull you on top of his lap. Pressing a kiss against your neck. Toms grip on his drink tightened. His eyes narrowing into slits, as you wrapped your arms around Harry's neck. He wanted to go over toward the two of you and drag you away from Harry. Or kiss you right in front of Harry, then drag you away. Either one.

He was sick of watching you hook up with other guys, that wasn't him. It broke his heart every time when he saw you with a new guy. He just wished you would feel the same way he feels. He wished you would look at him the way you look at Harry.

He really couldn't blame Harry for being handsy. He would do the same too if you were his girl. But you weren't, and he was so damn jealous of Harry of any guy really. That should be him, touching you like that, that should be him making you laugh, it should be him that you are with not Harry. Not any other man.

A voice next to him dragged him out of his thoughts.

"Dude, you need to get over her. Hook-up with another girl." Harrison slurred out every word. Sitting next to his best friend. While your mua sat on the other side of Tom. Twirling her straw around. The ice clinking against the side of the glass.

"Shut up." Tom grumbled. Gripping his glass of beer even tighter. His knuckles turning white.

"I think they are adorable." Your mua spoke. Looking at the two of you, dreamily. The look she received from Tom wasn't a pleasant look.

"He is only using her. He is only going to break her heart." Tom grunted out. Still glaring at Harry.

Harrison and your mua gave each other a look, both of their eyebrows raised.

"He is a bad influence on her." Tom ranted.

"How so?" Your mua asked him.

"Well, he parties, smokes, drinks, she doesn't need that in her life." Tom stated.

"Sure, sure, you're just saying that because you are jealous." Your mua sing sang. Taking a sip of her drink smugly.

"Shut up." Tom snapped. Jaw clenching even tighter. His teeth clenching together.

"Tom, you need to face it, she's not in love with you, man. She only sees you as a friend. I'm saying this as your friend, move on from her. I'm worried about you.." Harrison spoke out. Tom snapped his head towards Harrison glaring daggers at him.

"I don't want anyone but her." Tom snapped. Eyes narrowing at Harrison. Harrison raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Don't you think if y/n and you were meant to be, the two of you would have been together by now?" Harrison spoke. Making Tom clench his fists.

Rage coursing through his veins. How dare Harrison try and make him move on from you. He should be encouraging him to finally admit his feelings to you.

Tom gave Harrison a deadly glare for a second or so. Just as he was about to yell at him, he felt arms wrap around his waist. A warm body pressing against his.

"Hey, Tommy, I haven't seen you all night." You slurred out. peering your head over his shoulder. Giving him a drunken smile.

"Well, now you've seen me." Tom snapped at you. Making your eyebrows furrow. While your forehead creased.

Tom got out of your grasp. Standing up abruptly. Then storming off. Leaving you standing there shocked and confused. Did you do something wrong? What was his problem? You thought to yourself.

Your attention snapped towards Harrison and your mua. They both gave you meek smiles, making you even more confused.

"I'm gonna go check on him." You spoke slowly. Slightly sobering up. They both nodded their heads. You turned around, missing them both shake their heads.

You made your way through the crowd. Trying to locate Tom. Just as you were about to lose all hope, you spotted him leaning against the hallway. His lips pressed into a thin line.

"What was that about Tom? What's wrong?" You asked. Walking up to him, you stood in front of him. Giving him a stern look. Eyebrows arched. Hands-on hips.

Tom rolled his eyes in annoyance. Pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Nothing, why don't you go back to your perfect boyfriend, you've been spending so much time with." Tom hissed out. Your concerned expression dropped into a look of annoyance. You rolled your eyes.

"Seriously, Tom, your jealous of me spending time with my boyfriend. So, mature." You grumbled. Glaring at him.

"You are like a whole different person when you have a boyfriend. You ditch me to spend time with them. Then come crying back to me when they break your heart. We both know they are just flings not boyfriends." Tom snapped. Jaw clenching.

"Wow, let it all out, Tom." You scoffed out. You wanted to slap him so hard. But settled on giving him a death glare.

"Do you even care about our friendship at all? Because you seem to spend a lot of time with Harry instead of me. You cancel our plans to spend time with your perfect boyfriend, don't text or call me anymore. We hardly hang out anymore." Tom ranted.

"Grow up, Tom, it's called being in a relationship. I am so sorry; you are jealous of me spending more time with my boyfriend. If you were a true friend, you would support my relationship with Harry. Not being jealous." You fumed out. Giving him a death glare.

Tom suddenly cupped the side of your face with both his hands. Lowering his face towards yours. His lips capturing yours. Kissing you with so much passion it startled you for a second. You quickly came to your senses. Putting your hands on his chest and pushing him off you. His back hit the wall with a thud. Startling him. His heart hammering against his rib cage.

"What the hell, Tom?" You snapped. Bringing your fingers to your tingling lips, giving him an icy glare.

"I'm jealous, because, I love you, y/n, so much. I can't stand him having all your attention. I can't stand you being his, and not mine. It should be me making you feel adored. You make me feel some kind of way." Tom confessed. Giving you hopeful eyes.

"Oh." You replied. Feeling slightly dazed.

"I knew it." Another deep voice spoke. Making your heart rate increase rapidly. You snapped your head in the direction of where the voice came from.

"Harry..." You whimpered out. Tears gathering in your eyes. Harry shook his head from side to side. Tears falling from his eyes. Looking at you with a hurt expression. It broke your heart. He quickly turned around. Walking away from you.

"Harry." You called out. Going to follow Harry, but a hand gripped your forearm. Stopping you.

You span around to face Tom. Glaring at him.

"Let me go, Tom." You demanded. Through clenched teeth.

"Y/n..." Tom started to say, only for you to cut him off.

"I can't, Tom. I love Harry not you. If we were meant to be, we would have been by now." You snapped at him. Tom let go of you. Eyes welling up with tears. Giving you a hurt expression. Once he let go, you turned around. Running after Harry. Leaving Tom heartbroken...

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland angst #harry styles x reader #tom holland imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hi Colour! How are you doing today? I don't know about doing meaningful things with my life, feel like I've just been surviving this entire time lol. However I am trying to figure it out and working on building the life I want to live and hopefully I will be able contribute to this world in some way.

I don't think I've ever played a game of trivial pursuit. Have never been to a pub either, not like the ones you have in the UK anyway. Just been to very dirty bars where me and my friends used to drink as much as we could afford, shared questionable food that could potentially make us sick the next day and there were no quizzes or games really haha. So your exp sounds way more fun! 😂

I'm glad you're giving the song a chance! Only Spotify knows how many times I've listened to it lol. I reckon Hozier's going to be my artist of the year for 2021. I love attributing works of art to Dani x Jamie, have a whole ass Pinterest board full with images of paintings, poetry, music and anything that I think relates to them really (yeah I know, I have a problem).

I love everything you've said about how Dani, Viola and the lady in the lake are alike, I hadn't really thought about their similarities before, but everything you've said makes perfect sense. I always saw Viola as a narcissist, even her drive to protect her child felt selfish in a way, don't know if you know what I mean. And when she fades away and becomes the lady she's just pure (almost animalistic) instinct while on auto pilot, bc she only remembers rage and abandonment, she takes anything on her path aggressively unless they're a child. So what she sees in Dani is not processed logically, right? It's pure instinct and emotions, so what she recognizes in her when Dani invites her in is the desperate need to protect this child, so she sees her as deserving. Perhaps she also saw in Dani and opportunity to escape this nightmare. Despite all her faults she didn't deserve what happened to her either.

And don't get me wrong, Jamie is so, so strong and solid and she is my favorite mostly bc I identify with her personality more than Dani's. But we know Jamie is all that even before we learn her story, and I feel like it is expected that she'll be the strong and brave one bc she's had to be that her entire life albeit unwillingly. But Dani? We expect her to break at any given point, I mean she is reaching her limit after all that's happened, with all the weight she's carrying. I remember thinking "Jesus, this girl needs help" when I first watched the show hahaha. But she fights every damn time, she doesn't run away and that's why I find her so fascinating. That's why I thought this song was so fitting. Even if Dani would never see herself that way. But it's Jamie's perspective (and fire signs tend to exaggerate everything 😂) so it feels fitting that she thinks so highly of her baby haha. Ugh I just wanted them to stay together forever. 🥺

Omg yes! I love how you refined this idea, good thing you're a writer and I'm not hahaha. And yeah I'm absolutely here for sapphics with weapons like holy shit imagine Jamie fighting with a sword? 🤤 I'm weak. Hahaha would be cool to see them in a pirate AU too! Maybe someone's already done it? Idk. But aaaah I want to see them in every possible universe hahaha. Makes me want to get back into drawing too. 😩

Aww you two sound like you have a lovely bond going on. Your niece sounds like the coolest! I started out drawing anime too when I was a kid and ended up doing graphic design for a living! How did learning how to draw anime style go for you today?

Hey I'm doing great thank you I hope you are too? I know that feeling because I feel like that's how I have made it to 27 just surviving (barely) and taking things one day at a time to get me to this point and hopefully I can contribute in some way even it its just a small way... so I totally get that feeling but I am sure you contribute so much without you even realising it!! Oh it's great but depending on how competitive the people you're playing with are it can get pretty heated... I've been in some heated games of it before because people just refuse to believe I know the answers to some of the questions and they think I've been cheating and have all but demanded I have another question asked instead of the one I got right... and pub quizzes can be fun again depending on the team you're in and how seriously you wanna take it I have been in teams where its been a serious thing and we have all desperately wanted to win and then I've been in teams and we've just had fun with it... all the pubs I go in are dirty bars too but sometimes they have pub quizzes... I have had many nights where I have drank what I can afford... one night me on my roommate went over board though and we ended up spending ALL our money even our taxi fair and we had to walk home in the dark along country roads with hardly any lights to guide us... because of how drunk we were it too us around 3-4 hours and I fell over a road sign and ended up in a ditch... I've had a lot of fun experiences but some really stupid ones as well... your experiences sound great though!! I would love that!! I listened to the song and I loved it so much!! I don't even wanna know what my most listened to artist will be this year... my money is on it being the Six musical soundtrack... probably All You Wanna Do from that musical I'll be surprised if it's anything else. I would love for it to be someone like Hozier, but ever since I have done my Spotify wrapped thing it's always been a musical of some kind that's been my number 1 song / artist haha I love doing the same thing. If I can make something fit Dani x Jamie I will like it doesn't even matter what it is haha... I don't think you have a problem I think that sounds so cool!! I have nothing like that. I just have a head full of random ideas screaming to be let out I agree Viola is definitely selfish and narcissistic and everything she did came from a place of anger and rage over the things that happened to her she fell in love and got married and had a child and saw her sister try and take that from her while she was ill and in the end her sister killed her. Like yeah, I do feel sorry for Perdita with the way she was treated but I do think everything Viola did was out of frustration over what was happening to her. Like you said she acts on auto pilot and only knows rage until it comes to children- because all she knows is she is looking for a child so when she saw Dani so selfless sacrifice herself for a child she saw a little bit of herself in Dani she knows Dani is a good person and she can relate to that protective streak and I think she did see Dani as deserving I definitely agree with everything you've said here. Viola might have had faults and flaws and who doesn't? But I definitely think she had it rough and did deserve better than she was given. I agree, you can tell looking at Jamie that she is strong and brave while Dani comes off as the exact opposite. But I think you see fully how brave they both are when Dani sacrifices herself for Flora and when Jamie offers to keep Dani company and loves her despite knowing she won't be able to love her forever. I love Jamie but definitely relate to Dani's personality more, there are a lot of things Dani does that I see myself in her because I have done those types of things myself and the whole beast in the jungle speech resonates with me so much and every time I watch the last episode and hear that speech I am a crying mess from that point on. It's funny that you thought that about Dani when you first watched it, because me and my sisters got my mum to

watch it and she said the same thing about Dani "she needs help" but then once told me she liked Dani because she reminded her of me that was an interesting conversation to be a part of "Dani needs help... but I like her she's like you." I was like "Thanks?" I agree this song is definitely more how Jamie would see Dani, I think Dani just has a very blasé view of herself, like I don't think she's self conscious or self deprecating in anyway but I think she sort of walks around like "this is me and this is just how I am" where as Jamie just sees Dani for how brave and strong and amazing she is- maybe even if as a fire sign she exaggerates a little bit haha Jamie just thinks Dani is the most amazing person in the world and I just know that Dani saw her the same way!! I really wanted them to be together forever... I am never going to emotionally recover from Bly Manor. Your idea was incredible and I think it would be a great story to read honestly that's the type of thing I live for!! OMG Jamie with a sword is just 🤤 🥵 I am all for sapphics and weapons of any kind!! There's this pirate AU which is absolutely amazing!! I don't know if you've read it or not but iamalekza writes some really great fics!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631598/chapters/70179306 ^^ Pirate AU I really wish I could draw I would love to be able to draw scenes from fics I have read and even ones I have written but I just don't have the skill set for that!! I would love to see other fan arts though I think drawing is such an incredible talent to have and I am in awe of anyone that can do it!! Me and my niece have a great bond, she's like a little mini me (despite almost being as tall as me). She is honestly such a cool kid I have a hell of a lot of fun with her- I'm looking after her again tomorrow and I have no idea what we're gonna do but we will figure something out... she's such a good drawer she's only just started doing it at the beginning of the year and she's really progressed with it... I however have not so I am definitely gonna need more practice. That's so cool that you started out doing anime drawing and then ended up going into a career in graphic design. Again that's a talent that I am just in awe of because it's just something I have never been able to do!!

[serendipitybutterfly]

BTS Tarot Valentines Day Special:

BTS' Future Marriages...

I know... Unusual for me since I tend to focus more on advice than predictions for the most part... But, as it's this lovey dovey season, I decided to do a marriage themed reading as a special treat as I've gotten asks surrounding this kind of question before... This is going to be a mammoth post... Omg..

This is my Valentines Day present for you guys who follow and like my readings! Thank you!!!! I 💜 you!

So, without further ado... Let's get it!

*Disclaimer- the way i see it, although this is a prediction reading, I'm only working with the energies of the present moment. If one of the boys wakes up tomorrow and firmly decides he never wants to get married, then his path will change and future readings would reflect that. For the most part, the future is in flux and can be changed... If something is a huge, fateful, set in stone kind of event then the cards will let me know. Also, in this particular reading, rather than focusing on the physical appearance of their future partners, I'm intending to focus more on personality and only mention physical appearance if something strongly comes to mind or their looks come forward as a major message of the reading. Ok done! Let's really get it! 💜

Oh wait... before anything else, I was going to call this future Marriages or life partners (because, obviously, not everyone gets married) but I just decided to ask first off if they'd all get married for the sake of clarity and got a resounding yes for them all so... Yeah... As of now, all of the boys are likely to actually get married in the future. Although... Some are closer to that future than others. Also, I was going to put all of the readings into one big post but then I realised how ridiculously long that would be and decided to split the hyung line and maknae line up into two separate posts. I'm starting with the maknae line and hopefully the hyung line post will follow soon...

Maknae line:

Starting with Park Jimin...

Character profile - The archetype cards that popped out gave me an interesting message... I'm getting the image of someone that had quite a hard life, possibly even a somehow traumatic past (cards like bully and victim in particular stood out to me as being indicative of a troubled past), but managed to retain a sweetness and childlike innocence despite it... I'm also definitely getting the image of an introvert. Someone quite soft spoken, gentle and who comes across as a bit shy. She might feel more comfortable with animals and young children than with most people. Physically I feel like she will be younger than him, and somewhat innocent and fragile looking but at the same time there's something kind of edgy and / or sexy in her style... She might wear a lot of dark colours. Yeah... I know I said I wouldn't focus on looks... But I'm definitely also getting East Asian features coming through visually... I'm also seeing long, straight, black hair and fair skin. This is the kind of person who tends to inspire protective feelings in others... But at the same time has a lot of inner strength that they can use to heal and bolster other people's confidence in themselves.

Relationship- With the Dawn card, I feel like she will give Jimin a whole new fresh perspective on life... I'm hearing 'clean slate' and 'washing away'... I'm just feeling a lovely, pure, soothing, watery kind of energy to this connection overall. I mean, the romance angels oracle deck threw out 'True Love' to describe this connection so... I mean, if Jimin still has those romantic dreams of meeting his one true love like he used to... He can definitely have that wish granted! It's just... Going to take some time... With the Chariot in reverse here, I feel like he will have to wait quite some time before they meet...hmm... How old will he be in another 7 years? About 32? Could be around then or after... But, at this point, it's unlikely to be before...

The tarot here couldn't paint a rosier picture tbh... I really hope Jimin does meet this person in the future because it looks like this marriage could genuinely be the making of true and lasting happiness for him. Just look at these beautiful cards! 10 of cups... Happy family with a loving home environment and playing children! The star because this really is a dream come true, a wish answered. Then you have a reversed queen of wands (👀 omg why does Queen of wands energy always come up with anything to do with romance with Jimin??). However... Interestingly enough, here I'm seeing her as a soft spoken young woman who comes across as quite shy and introverted but who possesses a great deal of inner strength and power... (which is why context matters in tarot guys... Cards mean something different to me basically every time!). This is next to the knight of swords who I see as our lovely libra boy Jimin himself... I'm literally see this as a Knight in shining armor rushing in to the rescue. That's how he'll feel in this relationship. Not at all in a burdensome way... But like that feeling gives him this great deal of strength and confidence in himself. She makes him feel strong and capable and in control... Like a hero. Why is this making me emo? ...

Anyway, then the high priestess is here to sum this connection up and I feel strongly that this is an extremely deep, intuitive connection... The meeting of souls... They can look at each other and just... Know what the other is feeling... Could even be a soul mate / past life connection I think... Wow.

All in all... This is great news for Jimin's future in terms of marriage at this point. Although I do think it'll be a while before they meet and longer before actually getting married... It looks pretty rosy from then on! I'm not saying there will be no bumps in the road at all (I can sense that there are certainly some deep personal issues on both sides that actually need to be dealt with through this union... Which is some soul journey stuff... ) however overall this seems like it will be an amazing match! I'm so glad! 💜 💜 💜

Kim Taehyung:

Character profile:... Uh... Haha... You just had to be different huh Tae... Lol... Ok... So here's the thing... Where marriage is concerned, Tae has that interesting fate where he actually has a choice (I mean, everyone has a choice... But most people don't actually recognise it as a choice... It just kinda happens because it's their fate. Tae has the opportunity to make a conscious choice here regarding his fate because it's like either way he can learn important lessons and grow... Both are fated partners for him. Like a real diverging path kind of thing. He will get to a point where he can choose one path or another with basically full awareness of this as a choice... This is really interesting actually. I mean, either way, he will get married and he can be happy either way too... Although in different ways for different reasons... It's very interesting...

As far as personality goes... I see two distinct personalities coming through... On one side you have someone quite mature, serious, artistic, intellectual, quiet and spiritual and on the other side I see someone very young, pretty, flirty, fun loving, popular and witty... Also very wealthy and a little bit haughty... But kinda 'cute' and funny with it?? Idk why I'm getting that... Like a kind of sly sense of humour...

Unfortunately... This is weirdly up in the air because of this aspect of choice. I can see that both will appeal greatly to different sides of him... If only they could be one person... But alas...

Relationship: Again... The tarot shows how up in the air this is because there is not yet a set path. Tae hasn't even met them yet. He's not thinking seriously of marriage at all yet. However, with the Wheel of Fortune reversed here we can see that though this is not yet set in motion, it is fated either way. Death in reverse and the Hanged Man are also giving me that up in the air, 'paused', kind of feeling... Like this fate is just waiting, biding its time to be set in motion... Right now he's on a solo path, pursuing his career and furthering his goals... It's when he's ready to let some of that go that this will be set in motion... It feels like a few years into the future to me... Not too far but not too close either... I'm not getting a definite time frame. It could be within two to three years or around him going into his early 30s...

You'll notice on one side of the 'up in the air fate' cards we've got the 4 of wands and on the other side we've got the 10 of pentacles representing the two different connections. Both are really auspicious cards for marriage. Both connections are also signified by the two of cups... Both are deep love connections... Again because this is up the air, I'm not getting specifics about the outcomes of either choice, but it does seem atleast like he has the potential to be happy in either marriage. However it looks like in one he can have the big family and legacy (in terms of children and grandchildren and leaving a home and inheritance to them) he desires, while the other relationship seems more quiet and more just about them as a couple being happy together.

I feel like the card Solitude: Island speaks of that connection (them being alone and peaceful together... Perhaps travelling to faraway countries together... And that calmer more serious vibe in that connection) while the card Playfulness is speaking of the other connection (way more youthful, energetic, playful, and flirty energy... And also literal children- and puppies!- incoming!).

So yeah *shrug*... Decisions decisions Tae... He can only make the right choice when the time comes at the end of the day (and he has a lot of spiritual guidance on his side if he chooses to tune in). It's quite likely that by then his priorities and desires for what he really wants out of life will become clearer to him and that will make the decision easier... At this point, it seems like neither of them are a particularly bad choice... Though neither is necessarily perfect either... That's what makes this such a big, fateful decision I suppose... Good luck Tae! 💜 🙏

Now for Jungkook:

Character profile: Wow... Whatta boss... Lol. I'm kinda blown away by this energy to be honest. This is like... The best way I can describe it after looking at all the cards is... This is the kind of woman that both men and women are really attracted to and tend to like (regardless of sexuality). Like... Total 'girl crush', role model, material but also super attractive and sexy... Especially to men who like strong, capable women who have that 'boss' energy... Which is apparently future Jungkook I guess...

Actually these cards really make sense just based on what kind of people Jungkook seems to like to associate with anyway... I feel a sense that she will be older than him by at least a few years (if not, extremely mature and successful for her age). This is someone wise beyond their years who actively seeks knowledge and also goes further to implement what they've learnt to help others who are vulnerable. Something else that's coming through strongly is that this person is extremely creative and artistic... They have to be involved in the arts in some way, even if it isn't their main job. Actually, what I think is that she may work in one creative field (like say, a writer cause Scribe is there) but also does alot of other artistic and creative things as hobbies, like painting, drawing, dancing, singing... This is someone who delights in expressing her creativity so it doesn't have to make her money... She just loves it. Actually there's a kind of free spirited, bohemian, hippyish vibe here which is an interesting contrast to the boss energy... (I honestly want to be her best friend??).

Again, I know I said i wasn't focusing on looks but here looks are coming through really strongly... Like her attractiveness is really a major thing people notice about her so it has to be mentioned. I'm seeing long, wavy or curly black or dark brown hair (although she might also sometimes colour it... Especially red or reddish brown). She has a really great body... Like really fit and toned but also curvy (look at that goddess card! like I said... She's sexy). Also, probably a bit above average height. I'm also seeing that this is someone who's likely to have tanned or darker skin or who tans really easily in the sun... Like in the winter she might get quite pale but then in the summer sun gets a lot darker. She's definitely someone really natural, active and outdoorsy who's likely to get out in the sun as much as possible... I think she probably doesn't wear a lot of makeup... I'm just seeing a really natural beauty... Wow.

Relationship- With the Dreamtime: Creation card I'm getting two things coming through strongly. One is that I really think these two (certainly Jungkook) will actively be manifesting each other before they meet and will (or have already) dreamt about each other. Two is that, once again, I'm getting really highly charged creative energy. These are two extremely talented artists getting together and their relationship and home will reflect that. They encourage and push each other to improve. Really unique and quirky relationship actually... In fact, you'll notice that these cards aren't exactly overtly romantic... And yet... I'm still feeling the love?? Theirs isn't exactly a mushy kind of love but it's still very strong and extremely confident and secure. It's based firmly in actions that show love in a more practical way...

With the Sun shining on this marriage it's clear that they'll be really happy with one another (I see happy children here too... Another aspect of their mutual creativity... 😏 ) but there's also a lot of freedom and space. I see a lot of travelling and a lot of respect and understanding between them. That they are forgiving and don't hold grudges is coming through. This isnt a 'tit for tat' kind of relationship where they hold things over one another or only are nice to each other if the other person is nice first... It feels like they work through arguments maturely, quickly forgive everything and move on to being loving again.

With the page and 8 of Pentacles I see that they learn and grow together as people and work hard to make their relationship and bond extremely strong and they're successful in that. With the engagement card, I'm seeing two things, both strong commitment and loyalty to each other and also that they'll probably get married surprisingly quickly after they start dating. This is another case where I think it'll be a long wait for Jungkook... With the king of swords here... I feel like he'll be a definite MAN when he gets married... Like fully grown, probably rocking both longer hair and a beard... Lol... Older and wiser... Like around his mid 30's or even a little later... However, because he'll have been manifesting and dreaming of her for years (probably even already started guys) he'll just know from the time they meet that she's the one... So why hang about?

Conclusion... I kinda want to be bestfriends with Jungkook's future wife... She's really cool... 😭

OK... This has been the maknae line future marriages reading... I will try to drop the hyung line's readings before, on or just after valentines day so stay tuned! Hope you guys enjoyed!!! 💜 💜 💜

#So... This was interesting... #Here's to me doing the hyung line readings before valentines! #This is my Valentines pressie to my followers so i hope you like it... I purple you! #Bts tarot reading #Maknae line future marriages reading #Bts marriage reading #bts tarot reading #tarot reading #Tarot #Bts #maknae line #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook

[madfantasy]

Dear Blogging

Hello my dears, how have you been?

I'm doing alright. The repairs are finished and I got to sleep on my bed again, retuning to the same— ya know; staying up till dawn to draw. All that work maybe worth it someday but for now I'm not having enough food in my system because of it, even tho I'm used to eating as little as possible— the light-headedness dries up my productivity and brain powers..

▪️Maybe it was a cause that I haven't been all hot pursuing my artistic thrive. Usually looking into the undiscovered section of dA for inspiration helps but now idk where they put it now that they update everythin, but I can't handle it. I came across this tag on twitter that was, I suppose the idea was to find the lesser known artists and whatnot. It's a lovely gesture, but we all know how social media tends to work— in highlighting the big boys. I began to see a pattern over and over, what caught the biggest numbers were realistic, cute, themed, anime and cartoony styles. I know I shouldn't do so, but I compared mine to them and it felt my style is non of anything, just so bizarre it can't fit even tho it's still just.. idk.. art? And I considered maybe because it's unusual, while still not bearing any gigantic differentiations, it's not in the comfort zone. So, I assume that's why it's not likely to get rebloged.. as far as the normal chances of rebloging goes on this site. And putting up the banner to encourage it and promote myself seemed— I can't even say if its helping me.

But I've found my muse again, with the help of my precious friends, bless your hearts with all of their desires, you guys are all the goodness causers to me throughout these times, honestly

I got re-energized, began watching 3D pen artists and some of old electronics restorations magic that makes me marvel at the beauty of the sophisticated mind and the delivering hands of creation:

https://youtu.be/6DTqZHvLVxg

(Loved this one specially cuz I always opened up my controllers as a kid— to clean them heh)

https://youtu.be/WEqENsot7Nc

(I adore his sense of humour)

▪️I've also found the most realistic pencil brush ever that made me burst with spastic sketching energy, I love it so much it felt I returned to my pencil loving origins!

Here it is if you like to indulge:

https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1740419

( my mood :https://youtu.be/FEWi3l1ghD4 hold my hand! 🔥cuz i cant dace anyway lo)

I've also watched a forgotten adoration of my siblings and I. Doodled those penguins as if I suddenly knew how to draw bird, hehe. (Thank u for who noted that to me, you gratify me to the moon )

▪️My baby sib even made plushy with the help of my other siblings (she likes Private~):

I remembered how we always said they are cute version of us, joked how their shiny adorable backs are exactly how wearing abayas would look and whatever.

I'm excited to start on doing more art. And regained my desire of having an iPad pro, all of its qualities capture me and I'd love to feel it advancement. My current tablet is getting a bit skin curling-ly uncomfortable— scratchy.

▪️They opened up Amazon here and I thought to check it— as usual in ks a the prices are through the roof, let's say the same device originally cost around 999$ (without the pencil) on usa Amazon which is roughly 3746 R. Here it is locally, idk if the sale applied to it or not but I wish to have it before it ends because if it cost 10k without it, I'd rather buy a junk car. (Well not really, but the thought is appealing, heh)

But seriously, I don't know how it's possible, specially that everything I earn get majorly spent on bills when I choose to withdraw it from PayPal.. (actually just gave my savings for the next month to them today) and no, my plan to get my own bank account failed because even the employer whom suppose to know what's wrong with my registration files couldn't help me, after all these weeks of waiting..

But I'm still hopeful

Oh and the festival coming soon. Is on the 31th, I think.. I wonder if people would be allowed to gift meat. Anyway~

🌟I hope the coming days be kind to you my dears. Wish you all the best, may you be blessed in each step you take, and be kept away from harm.

And good luck in your pursues.. finals.. to be heard.. to be accepted.. to be normalised.. daily chores and struggles.. you are worthy, precious and strong and I hold hope and faith in you all 💛🙏

Stay safe

23.7.2020

#text #personal #drawing journey

[totallypathet]

Episode Three

First of all...what the fuck was that challenge. And what the fuck was the logic to judging it?! I spent so much of this episode just being confused. I think it would have been so much better if they were allowed to come up with their own ideas and characters, instead of having this really narrow space to work in; that was bizarre to me. Like Just Jan could have done a really delusional, high energy character who was the worst singer in the world; that would have been funny! Instead they stuck them with these bizarre storylines that made no sense, and had very little humour in them. Idk whose choice that was but it was a choice. Anyway, let's get into the rundown!

1. Aiden Zhane

I am not living for Aiden at all. Her attitude in both episodes has let a lot to be desired for me. And also, that runway? What was that? I could buy that dress on Asos, glue some bows to it and have that look. The concept was cool, the bows falling on her? Cool idea. But if you're going to do that then you need to Do It, yknow? Like it would have been cool if she'd had a huge wig completely made of bows. Or if she'd had an umbrella and made it look like it was raining bows, or something, that could have been really cool! It could have been amazing and she took a really easy way out. Disappointing. And her performance was dull. She deserved to be in the bottom more than Nicky Doll.

The only thing I will say for Aiden in this episode is the way Brita and Redacted behaved towards her was really uncool. They did that whole "you didnt lead us at all", and then told her that they carried her? You know that if she had led them they would have totally thrown her under the bus and said "well we do this professionally and we wanted to do this, but she was the leader and she made us do that". It was totally a damned if you, damned if you don't; and that was really unfair.

2. Brita

Guys, I am Bored of Brita. I am over it, and I am underwhelmed. I haven't seen anything from her that I've enjoyed! Her looks have been dull, she's not that funny, and I dont like the way she behaves (like I said with Aiden). She wont be next to go home, but hopefully she wont be long.

3. Crystal Methyd

STOP TRYING TO CHANGE CRYSTAL METHYD! I'm so sick of them going "oh her makeup is always the same", when it has been different each time!! She has a style and a brand, but it's not the same face!! Aiden Zhane does the same fucking face, none of them have picked that out! Loads of queens come in and they only have one face! Not mentioning any names Silky Nutmeg Ganache and Roxxxy Andrews. They got away with it because they were beauty mugs and that's the type of drag this show is biased towards. Crystal Methyd is an artist, let her do herself! That runway look was ugly though. Having said all that. Her face was gorgeous, I loved her makeup, I just thought that look wasnt very her! It didn't suit her somehow, it wasn't right. But she tried really hard during the improv, and I think she did a passable job! She honestly should have been safe, fight me. I just really hope she doesn't change herself to please the judges bc she has such a great vision and point of view, and I don't want her to lose sight of how great she is.

4. Dahlia Sin

Dahlia, Dahlia, Dahlia. Speaking of being underwhelmed, am I right? I had such high hopes for Dahlia, but this week she just didn't pull anything out. I personally think the fruit sketch was really funny, but it would have been exactly the same if Dahlia hadn't been in the group. She was so focused on being ~sexy~ (which is tough in a broccoli costume), that she forgot about everything else. Plus her bows and buttons look was just...odd. from the neck up it had this very avant garde, couture feel, but the outfit itself just looked unfinished. And then to have this weird arse peekaboo thing? Really weird choice. She deserved to be in the bottom and, after that lip sync, she deserved to go home.

I have seen a lot of posts about Dahlia "storming out", and I genuinely don't understand what they're talking about? Like, okay, she didn't say anything before she walked off, does that really constitute storming off? If she'd walked off while Ru was still talking, or if she'd yelled/screamed/sworn, then sure, maybe - but from what I saw she was just upset and wanted to leave as fast as possible. Idk, also they haven't released Untucked on the UK Netflix, so maybe there was more I didnt see.

5. Gigi Goode

I live for Gigi so much. I mean come on! Her character in the improv was passed out half the time and still had presence! She's so funny, and she's not afraid to let loose and get ugly. I think she did a good job in the improv, especially for someone without all that much experience, and her look on the runway was incredible. Solid 8/10 for Gigi this week.

6. Heidi N Closet

Heidi was robbed. I bought everything Heidi was selling this week. I bought it, I didn't stream it, I didn't rent it from the Netflix, I bought it. She was so funny during the challenge; the flipper? She spat out? Iconic. She had me dying the whole time, her, Jackie Cox and Gigi Goode should have their own series, I'd watch the hell out of it. Then she came bouncing down the runway as glitter Pinnochio, and she told that story about when she was at school and I loved every second! Shes so charming, and loveable, and relatable, and Jaida Essence Hall must have been gagged when she was top 2. She was robbed, she should have won, and she should keep her name! That whole thing with "the mouth has to change shape and it's not satisfying to say"? Bullshit, utter bullshit bitch. Heidi N Closet 4lyf.

7. Jackie Cox

Jackie made me so happy this week! Their whole group was hilarious, but Jackie doing the bad ventriloquist act just sent me, I loved it. And she just seems like the sweetest person as well! Her runway look was gorgeous, I loved the reference, her makeup was absolutely stunning, Jackie Cox is seriously the whole package. Her and Heidi should have been top 2 together.

8. Jaida Essence Hall

Jaida came in looking like a pageant queen, but she seriously flexed her comedy muscles this week! Her "bad apple" was hilarious, and she really committed to it! She was a firm leader in the group, but she was a good team player in the scene, she let everyone else have their moment too, and it was a good performance! I was a little bit disappointed that her runway look was very very similar to her spring mini challenge look from last week, but it was still a good look, and honestly I probably wouldnt have noticed if it hadn't been one episode after the other. She has shown a lot of diversity already, I think she just set the bar so high last week that I was really expecting something incredible, and I got something that was "just" good instead. She's still one to beat at the moment!

9. Jan

Jan made me so proud this week!! She was really funny in the skit, she had so much energy and enthusiasm, I loved it! Her jokes were funny, she picked a solid character and played it well, and can we talk about the runway though??? I really expected her to come out in something cute, because her personality is so bubbly and instead she gave me horror high fashion, monster couture and she Sold. Every. Second. It was a total transformation from the challenge to the runway and that, at the heart of it, is what I love about drag; that transformation aspect is just art to me. For me, Jan has it all. She definitely should have been top 3 this week. I think she's served the best runways so far, and I cannot wait to see what she does next week.

10. Nicky Doll

Okay, you guys know I love Nicky Doll. This week was not a good week for her. I appreciate that improv must be so hard in your second language, but I think she suffered a little bit from Dahlia Syndrome: she was so focused on staying pretty that she didn't really deliver anything. I kind of wish her character had literally just been French and spoke no English - part of the joke could have been that language barrier and Crystal/Window not understanding a word she said and her getting more and more frustrated about it. That could have been really funny. Also, her runway look...I know where she was going with it, it was a cool concept, and it was executed okay, there was just something missing, you know? It felt a little bit rushed, and again there was this real focus on being ~pretty~. Maybe if she'd looked a little more Cinderella ish, like her makeup wasn't perfect, and her hair was tied up like she was actually sewing, it would have sold me a little more character. I'm not sure, everything was just a little off for me this week, but I still think she's fierce af, and we all stumble sometimes. I'm looking forward to seeing her get back on her feet next week!

11. Rock M Sakura

Rock M was picked last for the challenge, I could not believe it. She deserved better than that, I was shook. She definitely picked the right group though, she was really funny as the Orange! She looked like she was having fun, and that's what I love about Rock M, is that I have fun watching her have fun. Her jokes were great, she matched Jan's energy, and I think she did a good job. I loved her runway look as well, the Alice in Wonderland concept was great, and I love that she kept the dress pretty simple so that the focus was on her hair and makeup! Her makeup was gorgeous, and the detail of the buttons on her face was stunning! It was a great concept, well executed, this week was a great week for Rock M, and I'm going to be furious if she gets picked last again.

12. Widow Von Du

Widow is getting The Edit. The edit that queens of colour who are talented get, where they paint them as bitchy, or loud, or as stepping on the other girls' toes; so that the audience isn't too pussed off when they get eliminated. Widow is exceedingly talented, and funny, and filled with personality. She also serves looks and delivers incredible performances. I will not let this edit take that away from her. She did great this week. She delivered everything I ordered in the challenge and more, she completely transformed for the runway, and she sold me a great presentation. Widow is definitely one to beat.

#rpdr spoilers #rpdr12 spoilers #rpdr12 #season 12 #drag race season 12 #aiden zhane #Brita #crystal methyd #dahlia sin #gigi goode #heidi n closet #jackie cox #jaida essence hall #jan sport #just jan #nicky doll #rock m sakura #widow von du

[pumpkinpaix]

9, 13, 14, 20? :O

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

ALAS I AM APPARENTLY A LONGFIC WRITER,,,, or like, a very short tiny vignette, no in-between.  I used to be incapable of writing anything long (all my shit from like 2007-2012 was under like 5k pretty much), but now it’s like. fuck! every story i want to write ends up spiralling out into like 50k+ projects /o\ I’m definitely a plotter. I wish I could be more spontaneous, but I do much, much better when I have some kind of endgame in mind. I can kinda fudge the middle, but the beginning and end have to be set :/

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

yep! here’s my ao3, which is pretty much just mdzs right now, but I’ve got some Saint Seiya stuff planned 👀 truly getting ready to return to my roots. saint seiya was the first fandom i wrote for! :D if you’re looking for my tumblr ficlets, I believe the tag is #myficlet

however, in terms of original prose and poetry, it mostly all just stays in folders on my hard drive. :’D I’ve entered some poetry and prose into local writing contests and won before, so my work exists out in the ether, but one day I’d like to have published books :’) I have so much poetry that kind of just sits around, and i’m like maybe?? it would be cool to share some of it? but all of it needs more editing and refining, I almost never edit my poetry it just kinda comes out in a mess and then I don’t look at it for years, so none of it is like good. a lot of it has potential, I think, but I have like, maaaaybe one poem that I would say is almost good lol.

I have like five nano novels hanging out as well, so just like. hundreds of k of words stacked up over the last decade and a half :’D

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

depends! sometimes I think of a title and a concept at the same time and try to weave them together. sometimes it comes in the middle, and sometimes I’m scrambling right at the end. sometimes I’m struggling for the whole fucking time (me with lxc fic right now good god this title has been eluding me for MONTHS)

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

okay, since you’re the one asking, I’m going to talk about my painting selections in this little tumblr not-fic i wrote about hyoshun even though I know you don’t really do the classic series, but hey.

I’ve seen both Aivazovsky’s Ninth Wave and Repin’s Sadko in person, but I’ve studied all of the paintings that were included. I’ve never been to the Tretyakov, so I haven’t seen any of those in person, but GOD i want to. All of the paintings that I talked about are some of my favorite 19th century russian works except Sadko, which is nice, but not like, one of my favorites. I just like it.

here is why I chose those works in particular:

1. Aivazovsky’s Ninth Wave is a fucking experience to witness. It’s impossible to convey the presence of it, the size of it, on a computer screen. you feel swallowed up by the ocean and the light and the terror and the beauty of it--even as you face death, you also face the sun. you know, just like. peak sublime. I really think Shun would find the concept of the sublime very moving, given what we see of his character in canon: he cares, deeply and viscerally about the inherent value of life, but sees himself as small within it. And I don’t necessarily think that scares him so much as it awes him sometimes. He knows his own value and strength, respects risk, and respects sacrifice. I think would relate a lot to the Romantic artists who looked out at the vastness of the world and reacted with wonder and terror.

I think Shun very much feels a deep sense of wonder at being alive, of existing, and that he takes that very seriously. idk, there’s that moment at the 12 temples, when he stops to smell the roses at Aphrodite’s temple. it’s like, yeah, we’re in the midst of fighting for our lives, but god. there is such beauty here. facing the sun even as you face death. I think he would like that painting a lot.

2. Knowing Repin’s other work, I find the Sadko really beautiful and charming and surprising! It’s such a fun subject for a painting--instead of painting a religious scene, it’s a scene from a bylina, about a man named Sadko. I believe here is the scene where he’s asked to choose a wife from a line of beautiful sea maidens, but all he wants is to return to the surface and live with his human wife that he loves so much. and it’s okay! he does! the painting is lovely and just really visually stunning. and there’s something really moving about the way that sadko has eyes only for his wife on the surface, dressed in plain clothes, out of reach, even as these dazzling women laden with jewels parade before him. aaaaaaaaaa. anyways, I think Shun would like this painting too, for those reasons!!

3. Now the Tretyakov paintings that I’ve never seen, but GOD they just. they get me right in the heart. first, Conscience, Judas, by Nikolai Ge. it’s hard for me to describe exactly what I’m feeling when I look at it, but that really vicious white on Judas’s robe, the coldness of it, the alienation of a traitor. I want to weep for judas. I am not christian, so my interpretations of the bible are largely moot and uninformed, but I’ve always been intrigued by the thought that like--without judas’ betrayal, christ could not have risen. without the fall, there cannot be a triumph. that doesn’t mean that judas was acting for that reason, i certainly don’t know enough about biblical studies to make any kind of interpretation, but in the sense that like--christ had to fall and judas was the instrument of it. imagine the remorse of knowing. there’s something very human and sad about watching everything you loved and betrayed walk away from you into the darkness while you are left behind. without you, it could never have happened. i don’t know. there’s something about the nature of unforgiveable sins in there. i think about Shun’s speech to Balron Lune and I think he would feel some kind of way looking at this painting.

4. Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, by Perov--this painting kills me every time i see it. again, not christian, but like. the agony of christ. god. the nature of sacrifice. knowing that you must suffer and die, but oh! you would rather live, please if only you could live. let this cup pass me by. that on its own is already so much to sit with. and I think Shun, as well as the other saints, for very obvious reasons, probably have a lot of complicated emotions surrounding the concept of sacrifice and doubt. and idk, whenever there’s a moment when you feel like you are reaching through time and space to realize that someone out there has felt the way you are feeling, it’s like. that’s a lot. it hurts.

5. The Demon Seated, Vrubel: aaaaaaaaaaa. one of my favorite paintings!!! the demon is beautiful, and the demon is terribly melancholic, and the demon is alone, and the demon is powerful sitting amidst the blooming flowers and the setting sun. the gentle face in contrast with the muscular body. the inherent negative aspect of a demon in contrast with the subject’s heroism. I think that this would remind shun very much of his own brother, who is so angry and violent and dark, but whom he still sees as gentle and loving still. i think shun would look at this painting and see ikki sitting there, alone, watching the sunset on some distant shore. as for hyoga, I think it would be hard for him to see this without seeing shun after the hades arc: a kind and beautiful man, a demon by nature not by choice. someone soft made unwillingly hard. a murderer who would ferry even centipedes out of the house to safety.

ANYWAYS. I LOVE ART and i project all my feelings onto shun thank you for coming to my ted talk

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#cyan writes #ask meme #cyan dlc #saint seiya #romanticism #russian painting #thank u for asking!!! :DDD #kingofthewilds #asks and replies