#as for the humor? MOST of my little short stories have humor and they are all on Ao3 and FF.net

[roosterforme]

Covering the Classics Part 8 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Now that Anna knows what Bob's hands feel like when he's holding her close, she doesn't know how to stop herself from going back for more. But she's unwilling to even humor Bob when it comes to what he wants the most.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, adult language, masturbation, eventually 18+

Length: 5300 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story is part of the Beer Boy/Sugar and Jake/Jessica universe)

Covering the Classics masterlist. Check my masterlist for more!

"I'm waiting for you to thank me."

Bob looked up to see Nat in front of him with a little smirk painted on her lips. He'd been spending the last twenty minutes trying to act normal, something he forgot how to do after Anna kissed him in the kitchen. Because it wasn't just a kiss, it was everything. It felt like she really wanted him.

"Thank you for what?" he asked cautiously.

Nat laughed heartily like he'd just told a very amusing joke. "For pushing you and Anna together. Bradley told me the situation, and that woman was jealous of me touching you. Her face was all pinched, and her lips were pressed into a tight line. Jealous. She wants you. And my god, she's hot. What the fuck do they do at San Diego State? Only interview you if you've got your PhD and a modeling contract?"

Bob knew he was blushing, and he was happy she wasn't calling him out on it. His friends were all talking about him and Anna behind his back at this point, trying to figure out what was going on. "We kind of just made out in the kitchen," he muttered, glancing across the yard at Anna who was talking to Jess and still holding the can of ginger ale he gave her.

"Yes!" Nat said with absolutely no subtlety, slapping Bob's shoulder. "Oh fuck, the two of you will have the cutest kids! Freckles and strawberry blonde hair!"

He had to close his eyes against the idea of it, willing the flush in his cheeks to subside. When he opened them again, Anna was looking right at him. Her gaze was a little unsure, and he was starting to get afraid she wouldn't let him drive her home later. But he wanted to walk her up to her door. He had been thinking about it since the very first time he drove her home.

"It's not like we're together or anything," he muttered.

"Yet," Nat told him, looking so certain. "Not yet."

It was getting late, the sun dipping lower in the sky. The temperatures would start cooling down once it was dark, and Anna was only wearing shorts. Bob's eyes easily found those freckles on her thighs once again. Her skin looked so damn soft. He wondered if he would feel goosebumps beneath his fingers if he traced that pretty pattern, gently connecting her freckles with an imaginary line. He had to swallow hard as she started heading his way.

Nat squeezed his wrist and muttered something about work, and then she vanished into the house. With Anna standing right in front of him, Bob wished he could just lean in and kiss her the way Jake always did with Jess, and the way Bradley always did with his wife. He wanted it. With Anna.

"I'm getting a little chilly," she told him. "I guess I overestimated how warm autumn was going to be in San Diego. It's still better than New Jersey though." She was talking to him like she hadn't been rubbing the front of those little shorts against the fly of his jeans barely an hour ago, and now he was sweating.

"You should wear jeans next time," he replied before realizing how stupid he sounded. "Not that you should be covering your legs or anything like that! You have very nice legs. Nice freckles? I just don't want you to be cold."

He cradled his forehead in his hand while Anna laughed softly. "I'll wear jeans next time. Do you think you could give me a ride home soon?"

"Sure," he promised immediately. "Absolutely."

"Great." Then she turned, and Bob heard her saying goodbye to Jessica. Why was he so awkward? Why was that exchange so weird? How was he supposed to make Anna want to kiss him again when he could barely string two normal sentences together?

--------------------------

Anna was trying to make a quick getaway, craving another few minutes alone with Bob. His truck was cozy, and she knew it would feel warm. His voice was sexy, and so was the way he moved. She wanted to kiss him again, even though she knew it was a terrible idea.

"Take some leftovers!"

"No, I'm fine," Anna told the hosts as Bradley tried to talk her into taking some of the extra burgers home. "But thank you." She was terrified that Jess may have said something about how sad Anna's lunches were; she had been doing her best to hide her current financial state from her friends, but she must have slipped up somehow.

"Well, will you come over for dinner one night? I love cooking for Sugar, but I always end up making way too much food."

Anna looked down at her feet. "Sure. I could do that. Jake invited me over there, too. I know he always cooks for Jess."

"Okay," Bradley said, his voice a little rough and his face annoyed when Anna looked up. "I'm a lot better at cooking than Jake is, first of all. Second of all, why don't you have dinner at his lame ass condo, and then let me know what he cooked. Then I'll cook a much better version of it for you and Sugar one night."

She was trying not to laugh; she knew they were competitive, but she didn't know it was quite this bad. "That sounds great, Bradley. Thanks for inviting me over today."

He just waved her off. "You're always welcome. You're one of us." He said it so casually before he started scraping the grill and cleaning it up, Anna just stared at the pattern of his tie dye shirt for a few seconds. He considered her part of this group now? This ridiculously cool friend group? If she thought about it for too long, she knew she would start crying. 

"Thanks," she whispered, turning and running directly into Bob's solid chest.

When she looked up at him as her fingers grazed along his shirt, he asked, "You ready to head out?"

"Yeah." Anna felt the slight pressure of Bob's hand at her lower back, guiding her toward the door.

"After you," he said softly. 

Anna had to walk inside the house and past Natasha, who she had clearly embarrassed herself in front of before. But the brunette just waved goodbye like she was completely unfazed by the events from earlier. Like it was totally normal for Bob and Anna to be together, heading out front to his truck as the setting sunset turned the sky orange.

Bob pulled the door open and helped her into his truck, and Anna thought maybe it was okay for this to be normal? To get a ride home from Bob after kissing him in her friend's kitchen? To have a painfully unrelenting crush on him that made her feel like perhaps love was a choice that you made for yourself? 

She watched him walk around the font of the truck, his glasses catching the last rays of sunlight as the streetlights started to warm up. He was beautiful. He climbed into the truck gracefully and looked at her bashfully. She was the reason he wasn't more confident right now; she knew it, and she was annoyed with herself for it.

He cleared his throat quietly and said, "Before I forget, I have your copy of Papillon." Then he reached for the glovebox, his knuckles brushing her bare knee. "Sorry," he whispered, pulling his hand away immediately.

Anna's heart was in her throat. How was she supposed to tell him that she liked it when he touched her, even by accident. He reached for the glovebox again, this time making sure his movements kept him clear of her leg. "It's okay," she told him, breathing deep. "I didn't mind it."

The only answer she got was Bob carefully handing her worn out book back to her. There was another little note folded up inside which made her remember she never read the one that was in Wuthering Heights before she left it in her office at work. He started the engine. The drive back to her place was too long, and too short at the same time. She was surprised to find that he was heading in the right direction without a reminder about her address. As the sky darkened, Anna tried to listen to the music playing on the radio, but all she could really hear was the sound of her own heart pounding. 

When Bob parked the truck in front of her building, she watched him squeeze the steering wheel with both hands while he stared out the windshield. "Anna...when you say you didn't mind it when I touched you...what does that mean? And what happened back at the cookout? Am I allowed to kiss you now? Or am I supposed to just figure out how to get over you?"

She fumbled with her seatbelt, heart thundering at the sound of his unsure voice. She wanted to ask him why he even liked her, because she had literally nothing to offer someone like Bob Floyd. But instead she said, "I meant I like it when you touch me. Even if it's by accident."

He turned to look at her, and when he saw she was crawling across the seat, his eyes went wide, and his hands slid from the steering wheel. "Anna." He inhaled a sharp breath when she planted one hand between his thighs, brushing his jeans with her fingers. She couldn't stand him thinking she didn't want him for another second. He was all she wanted. Somehow moving to San Diego got her some actual friends and a job she liked, and now a decent man with only green flags was into her, and she just couldn't make him think she felt otherwise. Even if they couldn't be together.

Bob's hands were planted on the seat at his sides, and he wasn't moving an inch as Anna straddled his legs. It was dark out, but she could see his gaze dip down to her cleavage before he met her eyes. When he spoke, his voice was deep with need. "Is it okay if I touch you now?"

"Please."

Anna's little cry of delight echoed through the cab of the truck as soon as Bob's hands settled on her bare thighs. His touch was light yet intentional, and it just left her wanting more. He was running his thumb along the frayed edge of her denim shorts, teasing her as he whispered, "I want to kiss you."

She didn't answer. Instead she reached for him, letting her fingers sink into his silky hair, leaning closer until her lips met his again. The kisses in the kitchen had been a little frantic, forcing her to get over the fact that Bob didn't want Natasha. He wanted Anna. But this was something different. Languid and slow. Needy yet decisive. She wanted to touch the rough stubble of his cheek, so she did. She wanted to feel his bottom lip tugged gently between hers, so she did. Then she parted her lips and tasted him.

The scrape of her nails along his jaw had his fingers sliding up inside the bottom of her shorts, and she wished she wasn't wearing them at all. She wanted to know the feel of his hands everywhere. "Anna," he murmured against her lips. She tugged on his hair and kissed him a little rougher, but she gasped and gave up control as soon as his big hands found their way over her shorts to her hips and yanked her snug against him. There was no more polite distance. No more breathing room. Just his hard body pressed to her soft one.

Bob's glasses were cool against her cheek, keeping her grounded as his fingers met the skin of her lower back while he tasted her tongue. His touch tickled her, and she rolled her hips forward, earning a grunt of pleasure from him. "Please," Anna whined, like it was the only word she even knew. Then her mouth was back on his. Bob's fingers traveled an inch higher, and she ground against him, but this time he broke the kiss.

When he tipped his head back, he looked bashful in the glow from the streetlights. She could feel him. He was getting hard for her, and it was delicious. Her brain supplied every suggestive line of poetry it had ever absorbed in her lifetime, and all she wanted was to make him get harder. 

She was ready to start unzipping his jeans when he eased his hands away from her body and whispered, "Will you let me walk you to your door? I've been wanting to do that for weeks."

----------------------

It was slow going, trying to get to Anna's apartment door. They kept stopping to kiss, even going so far as to end up with her body pinned between his and the wall in the stairwell. Her soft laughter as he kissed the side of her neck echoed through the enclosed space, and then she said his name.

"Bob."

Actually, it was more like a whine, and it reverberated off of the walls beautifully. "Yes, Anna?" he whispered, letting her lace their fingers together. He wanted to do this all the time. He wanted to be her boyfriend. 

She just made a strangled sound as he kissed as many of her freckles as he could get his lips on before pulling her away from the wall. Then they finally made it upstairs to her door. If she invited him inside, he wasn't sure what she would expect. As much as he was ready to skip all of the pleasantries, he knew he needed to do this just right.

"Oh," she whispered, seemingly to herself as she unlocked her door. But she didn't turn the knob as she looked back at him over her shoulder. Her pretty brown eyes flashed with concern, so he took a step away, but then she just looked sad. 

"Everything okay?" he asked. She nodded. "Will I get to see you this week? I'd love to buy you a ginger ale at the Hard Deck. Or Chippy's."

She bit her lip before abandoning the door and wrapping her arms around his neck. She was all rough kisses on her tiptoes, and Bob was ready to turn the knob, head inside and deal with the consequences later. But she ran her tongue along his bottom lip before pulling away from him just as quickly. "I need to...I'll see you later, Bob."

In a flash, she squeezed herself in through the smallest gap imaginable, and then she gently closed her apartment door behind her. Bob stood there for a minute, his cock still half hard in his jeans as he stared at the spot where Anna had just been standing. She was giving him whiplash at this point, but maybe he sort of liked that kind of thing.

He quickly adjusted himself in his jeans before heading back downstairs and out into the cool night. He was going to have to ask Jake or Bradley how long he needed to wait before asking Anna out. They would know what to do. And he had Nat back now as well. He had enough resources that he would figure it out.

But the next day after work, they all seemed to make everything more confusing for him. 

"So did you finally fuck her then?" Bradley asked casually as he put deodorant on in the locker room.

"Well, no," Bob muttered. "We just made out for a bit."

"Kids these days," Bradley muttered, shaking his head. "Well, did you at least thank Nat? For coming to your rescue?"

Bob sighed, knowing this man was going to be no help after all. "I already talked to Nat," Bob replied as they walked out of the locker room. 

Of course Natasha was in the hallway and did a double take. "Did I just hear my name? I've been so popular since I got home yesterday." Her smile slipped into a look of excitement. "Did you fuck the redhead?"

Bob cradled his forehead in his hand. "Her name is Anna. And no, because I'm actually trying to date her."

"Why not both?" Nat asked, leading the way out to the parking lot. "Give that girl what she so desperately wants."

Bob was scared Anna was going to pull away again. He hadn't heard from her at all since last night when she disappeared into her apartment. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be texting her or not today. It was like he was living in a choose your own adventure story, but somehow none of the options were correct.

He turned right toward his truck while Bradley and Nat both turned left, but then he realized that Jake had parked next to him and was already in his own truck talking on the phone. Bob tried to sneak past, but Jake put his window down and said, "Jess wants to know what's up with you and Anna."

"Is she on the phone?" Bob asked, tossing his bag into his own truck.

"Hi!" came Jessica's voice through Jake's bluetooth. "What did you do to Anna? She was practically singing when she showed up at lunch today."

Bob immediately scrambled toward Jake's truck and stuck his head in the window. "She was?"

"Yes. And she was having a hard time paying attention. You know how she gets when her head is in the clouds."

Jake met Bob's wide eyed gaze and smiled. "You should go to her office hours," the other man drawled. "That's like a green light for fucking on her desk."

"Hey!" Jessica complained through the phone while Bob grimaced. "Jake, keep your mouth shut about it. But yes, Bob, you should go to her office hours. She'd probably really like that. It shows you're thinking about her."

Well Bob was almost never not thinking about Anna, so maybe it wasn't a bad idea. "Take her some flowers," Jake added. "Seriously, man, she'll be handing you her panties within a minute."

"Hey!" came Jessica's voice again, and this time Bob ducked into his own truck, not wanting to hear any more of that conversation.

-----------------------------

Monday was a bit of a blur. The first thing Anna did when she got to her office was grab her copy of Wuthering Heights from her shelf. The note she forgot to read from Bob made her smile right away.

This book made me feel like it's okay to be completely caught up in another person to the point where you forget where you are or what you're doing. Also, I'm going to think of you every time I see a dog eared page for the rest of my life.

She whimpered softly. There had been a similar, slightly more intimate note tucked inside Papillon when she checked it last night after she squeezed herself into her depressingly tiny apartment in embarrassment. She would never be able to invite Bob inside for anything. Not for a cup of tea, and not for a sleepover.

After that, Anna spent the entire night on Sunday reading her favorite poems and touching herself. Sky Writing seemed to have fallen in love, based on his new post. That idea wasn't surprising at all. Anna was convinced he was the perfect man, so it was just a matter of time. But the thing that did surprise her was the way he wrote about a certain woman with red hair. Late into the night, she was laying in her tiny bed with her fingers inside the font of her underwear, picturing Bob as she read the words to herself.

It was almost too much. Her lips were still a little bit puffy on Monday from all the making out, and she felt sated if only by her own touch. She knew Bob's beautiful hands would be so much better, and she was still thinking about them when she went to find her friends at lunchtime. 

Tuesday wasn't much better. The only damper was that she hadn't heard a single word from Bob. Nothing. She hadn't texted him either, because what was she supposed to say? Hi, I think I could fall in love with you, but I'm not allowed. Can we still make out? That would be the worst idea in the world.

"She's got her head in the clouds again."

Anna blinked a few times and realized she was sitting by the weird tree with the warm sunlight on her face. Her uneaten sandwich was in her hand, hovering halfway to her mouth, and she had been staring off into the distance. "Sorry," she muttered, finally taking a bite. Her lunch didn't even seem as sad today as she thought about Bob's hands on her thighs. 

"Can you blame her?" Jessica asked. "She kissed Bob."

"Not one bit," the other woman said with a grin, as if Anna wasn't even there. "He's a damn catch. Sweetest man ever."

Anna rolled her eyes and said, "As if you aren't married to the human equivalent of a golden retriever."

"Oh, so she is paying attention," Jessica said with a laugh. "We thought you'd blasted off for planet Bob with no return ticket."

"Your astrophysics jokes are the worst," the other woman said, and Jessica pretended to pout.

"Listen. All I know is that he's a great kisser, and that his hands fit really nicely right here," Anna said pointing to her back and her hips. Both women squealed in delight. "But I can't take things any further with him."

"Why not?" Jessica demanded. "The two of you have been playing this game since you met at the bookstore. And also since you met again at the Hard Deck."

Anna thought about Kevin and all of her money that she'd never see again. She thought about her manuscripts she'd put on hold to work three jobs. She thought about how she'd willingly given up Princeton for him.

"I don't want to drag him down to where I am," she whispered, running her finger along the condensation on her can of ginger ale. "I can't be in a relationship." That's all she wanted to say about Bob and Kevin right now, still too afraid to tell her friends everything. So she cleared her throat and asked, "What's with the cooking rivalry between Bradley and Jake? It's like an episode of Chopped." That seemed to open a very controversial can of worms, but at least the focus shifted away from her personal life.

------------------------------

Bob didn't even know what kind of flowers were the right ones to get, and once again, everyone else gave him useless information. 

"I rarely get flowers for Sugar. I usually just grab some good beers on my way to pick her up from school, and that's enough to seal the deal. Then I get to drink the beer I like while my hot wife goes dow-"

"We get the picture, Bradshaw," Jake said loudly. "Bob, just get some cheap flowers and save the money to make her dinner one night."

"Do not get her cheap flowers!" Natasha chimed in. "If the two of you weren't attractive looking," she said, pointing to Bradley and Jake, "Sugar and Jessica would have bailed before they bothered to uncover actual brain cells underneath the pretty hair." Both men looked startled before eventually nodding in agreement. "You need to get good flowers and plan to invite her for dinner. Not one or the other," Nat finished, pounding her fist into her other palm. "No wonder Bob never gets laid when I'm not around to straighten everything out."

"Can we not talk about that?" he mumbled, adjusting his glasses. "And it's not like I just want to...get laid. By just anybody."

"Yeah, yeah," Natasha said, tapping away on her phone. "You're a romantic. Go get her flowers like these ones."

Bob examined her screen when she held it up for him. He memorized the red and orange blooms the best he could, and soon they started to remind him of Anna's hair. "Got it," he told her, turning toward his truck before anyone else could tell him something that may or may not end up being useful. He'd get the flowers and then invite her over. He wasn't as good at cooking as Jake or Bradley, but he'd try anyway. He was mostly out of practice since he didn't have anyone to cook for, really, but they both offered to send him their favorite recipes. 

The florist was nice and listened to him ramble about orange and red flowers for a minute before putting together something that was even prettier than he could have imagined. The sixty dollar price tag shocked him, but it didn't stop him from also grabbing a book from the front window of the shop next door. It was a new one he'd been wanting to read himself, not quite one of the classics that Anna seemed to favor, but he figured she wouldn't have read it yet. He'd let her borrow it and dog ear all the pages up, and then he'd read it and think about her the whole time.

But when he got to the San Diego State University campus, he sat in his truck and stared at the clock on his dashboard. It was 6:32. She had office hours until 7:00, so he really needed to head in there. Doubt was creeping in now, because they left things off at a weird place. He had no idea what Anna really wanted from him, if anything. If she told him no or hesitated today, he was going to have to start sorting out his feelings for her and dismantling them bit by bit.

It was 6:47 by the time he finally made his way through the academic building on his way to Anna's office. Several people turned and looked at him in his khaki uniform with the huge bouquet of flowers in his hand, and this would have been a lot less stressful if Anna was actually his girlfriend and not a woman he thought might never be that. When he reached the hallway that smelled like freshly baked bread, he found her small office right away where it was tucked back from the main walkway. The door was ajar, and he could hear her voice, so he stood there in the hallway a little awkwardly, trying to fight the urge to run back to his truck.

The door opened another inch, and Bob could see Anna's fingers and her burgundy painted nails peeking out as her voice got louder. "Here's a copy of the extra study guide. Don't forget there's a quiz on Monday. If you can ace that, then I think you'll be in better shape for the final. And try not to be too hard on yourself, Hemingway can be a bit of a challenge for anyone."

"Thanks, Dr. Webber."

The door opened all the way, and a young man filed out with a frown on his face, and then Anna was just standing there right in front of Bob. Her hair was in a loose braid, her lips had some sort of purple-ish gloss on them, and she was wearing some snug jeans and an SDSU sweatshirt. "Bob," she breathed, and it sounded like music. Her gaze raked over his uniform and the vibrant flowers before returning to his face, brown eyes more vulnerable than he ever thought they should be.

"Hi, Anna." He couldn't think of anything better to say as she backed up a step into her small office and nodded her head once for him to join her. After two of his long strides, Bob was practically bumping into her desk. Then she closed the door and leaned against it, hands tucked behind her back.

She cleared her throat, but her voice was still soft as she said, "You look nice in your uniform."

"Thanks," he replied automatically. She could have said anything, and he would have thanked her.

"Those are beautiful. Are they for me?" she whispered, eyes falling to the flowers again.

"Of course they are."

Bob watched her eyelashes brush her cheeks as her eyes fluttered closed. "You didn't have to do that. Flowers are so expensive."

"I got you a book, too," he said, sliding it out from behind the bouquet. Her eyes snapped open so she could read the title, and he said, "It's a new release, so I was hoping you didn't preorder it or anything."

Anna's cheeks were growing pinker by the second, making her freckles look more prominent. He was about to ask if she wanted to come over for dinner one night when she launched herself across the three feet of empty space, colliding softly with his body. Bob dropped the flowers and the book onto her desk just as she kissed him, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck.

She kissed him like they did this all the time, and his hands went right to her waist where they fit perfectly. "Thank you," she murmured against his lips. "Nobody ever got me books before you."

The words before you echoed in his brain. He didn't want there to be an after. He wanted this to be the real deal where neither of them had to be in a relationship where they weren't constantly trading books back and forth with someone. 

Anna kissed him until his glasses were crooked, and she raked her fingers through his hair until he was sure it was a mess. And somehow she ended up pushing him back until he was sitting on the edge of her desk with his long legs splayed apart. He knew he was in trouble; he could feel himself slipping already. She let her hands trail down the back of his neck, over his shoulders, and down the front of his shirt. She adjusted all of his pins and touched his name tag along the way as her lips barely brushed his. Her fingers moved so slowly, he thought maybe he could get himself under control, but it was no use. He was hard in his pants, and her exploratory hands weren't stopping.

"Anna."

All that did was make her kiss him harder again.

"Please."

All that did was have her pressing the font of her jeans to his khakis with a little gasp. Maybe the guys had been right about this kind of thing after all. Maybe visiting her during office hours was all it was going to take to get to the next level. Her fingers made it all the way down to his thighs, scraping along just inches from his erection, and Bob was afraid he was going to embarrass himself. He thought about icebergs and refrigerators and the Arctic Circle, but nothing alleviated the aching heat under his skin as Anna licked his lip and almost nudged the tip of his cock.

But then she said the most devastating sentence he could think of. "Bob, I really like you. But we're just friends, okay?" Then she kissed him again like she hadn't spoken something so harsh, and he thought maybe he imagined it. "Just really good friends who make out with each other."

"Fuck," he grunted, trying to get control even as his hands kneaded the bare skin of her lower back. "Anna." He swallowed hard and pulled his mouth away from hers, examining her wide eyes. Her teeth sank into her pouty bottom lip when he said, "I was going to invite you over for dinner later this week."

"As friends?" she whispered, her hands still planted on his thighs. 

Bob nodded like an idiot, because once again, he was going to agree to anything she said right then. "Sure."

She kissed him softly and said, "Okay."

-------------------------

But is it okay? Is it really? Next up, let's see how this dinner goes. We might need Nat to fully step in and take care of business again. Also, I love Bradley and Jake in this chapter so so so much! Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 9

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[inkskinned]

something that stuck with me once, way back in middle school when i was still learning how to write - my teacher said "writing shock and tragedy is easy, it's humor that's the hardest."

i have been up and down the halls of academia. i have the fancy degree and the experience in publishing. i think i paved most of my own road with the little bricks of sorrow i had stored inside of me. i know i did it mostly with works that are blisteringly lonely. i know why we write like that. it's lifesaving.

but yeah, i mean. i also know how much people think that "sad" media is the same thing as "good" media. our human desire to connect is so hard-pressed that we immediately latch onto any broken themes. the bullied kids and the tales of inspiration. people keep saying things like "glass onion" and "everything everywhere" weren't actually good. because, you know, they're. happy. or happy-ish. happy enough. and we only value art if it's grimdark-adjacent.

do you know - people still consistently whine at me that my writing would be so good if i just capitalized things. i used to flinch. i get kind of a weird, vindictive little rush these days - i get to say thank you for the comment! i have chronic pain and this is how i conserve my hands so i can write more during the day :) grammar isn't real anyway! and now they're trapped in the room with me, you know? i get to pull out my map and show them how grammar is not the same thing as good writing.

writers have this thing. we scratch at our insides, constantly, prying our lives apart into splinters. prying the splinters apart into atoms. when we combust something into poetry, we control it. it cannot hurt us if it exists outside of us rather than burning a hole through the bottom of our lungs. it's not a wonder to me that so much of what i make comes out like a death gasp. i spent a long time at the bottom. i keep going back, too. when you're down there for so long, the only thing you can exhale is fumes.

but humor is hard. humor needs timing; which i can't promise in a paragraph. i can kind-of force it through careful spacing, but i have no idea how fast you're reading these things. humor needs a somewhat awareness of your audience, when really - anybody could be looking. humor needs us to understand what the joke is, why it's a joke, and to think - ha! that is funny. in tragedy, everyone understands the metaphor of a kicked puppy. in humor, you need to introduce them to the concept of a dog.

and forget about positivity. forget about anything not made for adults explicitly. every time i see a well-made children's media piece, i feel fucking horrible for the creators. most of the time, people see children's media as being sort of "not worth" applause, even though i'm pretty sure they have to work twice as hard. i have no idea how hard it must be to not be able to have your character just say. "well, fuck." something about a message of peace or friendship or caring - for some reason, that makes the media not for adults. like, okay. i'm pretty sure my father actually, out of all of us, could use a good book on how to control his temper and talk about his feelings.

but whatever. i write a short story about my ocd, and how it's fucking killing me. it gets an award. it gets published. i write a short story about my ocd, and how i'm overcoming it, and how my days are getting lighter and starting to flourish. i keep getting ghosted. no response. it just is lacking... something.

is this it, forever? you can be an artist, okay. but the trade off is that the things you make - if they're happy? if they're joyful? people will say it's stupid and pandering. you bite your nails off. you file your teeth. you hear something inside of you breaking.

the other day in a writing group, someone i'd thought of as a friend said: "you write so much better these days! i love what you make when you'd rather be dead."

#i have no idea what this is about #writeblr #i think u might tho. if ur an artist. u might. idk

[junkdyke]

That Time I Hooked Up With A Tumblr Mutual

Ok. Let me start by saying this is not a callout post, and this should be read as a humorous story, with some takeaway lessons at the end. Please enjoy my story of my weird ass encounter with a Tumblr mutual.

Part 1: The Backstory

Alight so boom. I had just returned home from a trip where I met a different Tumblr mutual. That trip was great but didn't end up going to plan, so long story short, ya girl was horny. I had never really had a one-night-stand or sought out a solely sexual hookup, so I started thinking maybe I could try it out, see how I like it. And through the sheer power of manifestation, that opportunity presented itself.

I was scrolling Tumblr and one of my mutuals posted asking if anyone was in (my area) and wanted to hang out. Mind you, I have never spoken to this mutual before. No DMs, maybe like 1 or 2 comments through tags and that's it. But, most of my moots are far as fuck, so when I saw she was near me I was like oh ayo, I'm free! Why not, I had nothing else going on! So I reply, and she DMs me.

So she introduces herself, we'll call her Chicle for reasons I'll get to later in the story lmao. Anyway, she gushes a little bit, saying she's been too shy to DM me and that I'm a really cool tattoo artist mutual, I say she's cute and seems cool, and she asks if I've ever been to this particular mall. I say I have and if she wants to cruise the mall with me. She says yeah I'd love to cruise the mall and "if I like her vibe, then maybe we can do something more fun." I say I'm down, she gives me her number.

So here is what I'm envisioning. We'll meet up at the mall, walk around and talk, get to know each other, have some laughs, get a snack, it was a Friday so maybe we could go out to like a bar or go dancing, and then maybe after that, possibly make-out or even have sex! I am not opposed to having sex after a first date if I'm really vibing with the person and if we've been talking for a bit before. Girls, this is not what happened.

Part 2: The Meeting

I get ready, and I drive to the mall. I park, we text on where to meetup and I head over to the Gamestop. I see her at the counter, go up and I'm like "are you buying Pokemon cards?" She starts laughing, she says "I didn't want you to see this!" I'm laughing, I told her it's cute, she finishes paying and we walk around. Cute start and thennnn it all starts to go downhill from here.

As we are walking out of the Gamestop, a minute and thirty seconds into meeting this stranger, she wraps her arm, not around my waist...but around my ass. And pulls me close. I'm instantly uncomfortable by how close this gesture is. She starts cooing in my ear about how she's "so glad I'm not a catfish" and "if I like her vibe because she really likes mine". We met not even 5 minutes ago, I have not had time to evaluate any vibes! But anyway! She asks if she wants smoke 🍃 so I agree, and we go outside, right across from where we just were.

I get to take like 1 hit from this pen, she then steps close to me and says "I'm so glad you're real" kisses me and squeezes my ass. I again feel the need to emphasize that at this point, it has still been less than 5 minutes since we've met, and we have exchanged about 10 messages only a couple hours prior. This is a stranger to me. ANYWAY.

We go back inside, she asks if I wanna walk around, I agree. We chat for a short bit of time, before we go to the food court. I wasn't hungry, so she got some food and we sat and talked. I had made some mention about my past and she wanted to know more so I'm like "okay, I'll give you my lore while you eat" so I basically tell Chicle my life story. Afterwards, we go to walk around more and I start trying to ask her questions so I can get to know her more. It becomes very apparent that she is not interested in getting to know each other lmao. I ask what she does for work, and what she's interested in, and she tells me she's interested in getting into (something animation related) and i'm like "oh ayo, that aligns with what I do" and start trying to get more info cause i'm curious, annd I get just the shortest fucking answers. Ok.

She ends up making a comment about how I'm probably more experienced than her, and I'm like "oh really? Well how many people have you been with?" and Chicle asks "are we counting online?" Now, there is nothing necessarily wrong with this...but it does become more clear on just how "online" this person is. Anyway, she has only been with a few people, never had a partner. It becomes very clear as to why she may have never had a partner.

Part 3: Inappropriate Behavior

We are walking around the mall, stopping in a few stores to look at stuff. Chicle is walking next to me and I am still trying to invoke conversation. But Chicle is not interested in conversation, because instead, she is deliberately and blatantly staring directly at my tits. What I mean is, mid-walking, she is at my side, craning her head to the side to make it incredibly clear that that is what she is doing. I straight up ask "are you...staring at my tits?" she confirms as such, and says something about her being a dog. The dog thing will come up again.

Chicle is at different points, holding me, kissing me, and saying various suggestive things. She grabs me and whispers in my ear "do you want to go back to my room" and I nervous laugh and say "uhhh, we'll see!" At another point, she says "you're so small, you want me to manhandle you and throw you around?" and I again nervous laugh. We're like in Hot Topic, and she start trying to makeout with me and grabbing my ass and says "you're making me so hard"(we'll put a pin in that) and I push her away and say "not in public". I can do a little PDA but this is a lot, and at this point I have known her for about 40 minutes, maybe an hour.

Continuing on, as we're walking through this crowded mall, she drapes her arm over my shoulder and starts grabbing my boob and trying to pinch my nipples, which I immediately pull away from and again say "not in public". Chicle again says "do you wanna get out of here and go back to my room" and I'm questioning what exactly she means, because the phrasing is a little weird. "what do you mean 'your room'?" and she says "I have a hotel room" so I'm a little confused cause I thought she lived in the area. She does.

"i got us a room"

Ya'll, this bitch preemptively booked a MOTEL ROOM without even asking me.

At this point, she has asked multiple times and each time I nervous laughed and said "haha maybe, we'll see, ehhh we'll see" To any normal person, my body language was extremely clear that I was uncomfortable. And again this is not a callout post, she is not a bad person, and everything that ultimately happened, I did consent to. But I will not sugarcoat the fact that this behavior was definitely inappropriate harassment, and there was absolutely some pressuring with the continuous asking. But as I mulled it over, there were 2 reasons I ultimately decided to agree and meet her at that motel.

I was craving intimacy

I had never done something like this before so..fuck it, let's do it for the plot.

And so, she gave me the address, we got in our respective cars, and we met at the motel.

Part 4: The Motel

We go to the room, put our stuff down, and I go to use the restroom. I'm thinking "oh shit, this is weird but alright, let's see what happens"

I come out of the restroom, wash my hands, and she comes over and we start kissing. Already it's fucking weird because the way she is kissing me is so goddamn fast, it's like someone inhaling a meal because they think it's gonna run away from them. Now idk about ya'll, but I like a slow, deep kiss. So already it's a mismatch, but whatever. She lifts me onto the sink, despite the weird kissing, it's hot. She has some really minty gum in her mouth, hence the name Chicle. Put a pin in that.

After a bit, we go to the bed, and I keep saying "how did you get me here" because honestly, I'm not fully comfortable, it's just a weird situation for me and I'm surprised I agree to it. But agree to it I did, so we get on the bed, and keep going. Now, even though she does not have much experience, she's not bad! But...I can tell there's certain things she's doing that I've seen. Or rather, read. Whew lad.

As we're getting into it, my clothes are coming off, she's saying "You're my favorite Tumblr mutual. I can't believe this is what my favorite Tumblr mutual is into." I don't even really know what to say to this because quite frankly, mentioning social media in bed in any capacity is kinda fucking cringe. But it just gets worse.

So, she's spitting on my pussy. And I, personally, have a strong aversion to spit. It's something that I tell anyone that is a potential sexual partner, but it this case, we obviously did not have a prior talk about our sexual boundaries. In this case, I'm like "okay whatever as long as it's just there" but I quickly say "hey uh, just please don't do that in my mouth or i'll throw up" lmao. She's like "Oh okay sorry sorry". But then at some point, without warning she smacks the FUCK out of my pussy, and I'm so taken aback I immediately say "UH DON'T DO THAT" and she again apologizes and says

"Oh sorry, you know I had to try that one. Like that Tumblr post, you know the one."

Ya'll, everything this bitch is doing, she is referencing posts from Tumblr. She is referencing the sexy fantasy butch/femme text posts from Tumblr and she is referencing them out loud. In the middle of real life sex.

She goes on to reference more posts, and the worst part is I know exactly the one's she's talking about. "Mutuals to lezz out with" etc etc, it's so fucking cringe, and she tells me about how she started wearing more of a certain article of clothing after I reblogged a picture of her in it and how embarrassed she is to admit that (I thought that was kinda cute actually) anyway

She's still going way too fast with like all her movements, I tell her to slow down and relax and I think at this point I mention how she did not have to do all that PDA shit from before. She says "well you know, on my Tumblr I do say I'm a dog" and then uh, she starts barking. 💀 literally starts going "woof, woof" and I tell her to s t o p. Jesus fucking christ.

Anyway, after mentioning Tumblr and calling me her favorite Tumblr mutual way too many fucking times, I'm on top of her. Mind you, this whole time, I'm kinda in and out dissociating, just due to how not fully comfortable I am with this. But ya know, I'm still going for it. Her shirts off, she has really cute boobs, and then I notice a really fucking huge bulge in her pants. And I fully dissociate. Not gonna lie, I started feeling really panicky, because straight up, I was not prepared for this. Physically, I'm still touching her, but my mind is fully disconnected, and I'm thinking "oh fuck. When she said 'you're making me so hard' was she being literal? I don't know if I'm comfortable with this. Should I tell her I want to stop? But I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Should I just take it? Well no, I don't really want to...maybe I'll just say 'hey is it cool if I don't touch it?' I mean, she's cute so ehhhhh let's just see what happens!" SO. We continue on.

We flip and she's now on top of me. She references another fucking Tumblr post, and says "do you wanna suck on this lesbian cock?", unzips her pants and pulls out...this MASSIVE transparent strap on. And I'm like oh, it was fake LMAO. Then I say "...yeah, so that's not going in me"

She ends up taking it off, I don't even know how the fuck she hid it in her jeans that entire time, and we continue on. Around this point, I'm starting to feel pretty spent, she did some other things like opening up my pussy to stare at it and describe the color, whatever, I'm kinda done and I just wanna cuddle. So we cuddle for a bit and again, it's physically nice but it's just so weird because she is SUCH a stranger to me that I can't get fully comfortable. She starts trying to start up again and I'm just not really in the mood anymore. She keeps playing with my nipples and typically whenever I'm touched in a way I'm not digging, I'll just take their hand and move it away as a silent but pretty clear way to indicate "no". But uh, I had to do that like 4 times with her before I verbally say "hey, please stop" and her response is "why" 💀 like wdym "why" bitch, cause i said so. I'm kinda surprised by this response so I start to say "Uhhhh, it's...kinda specific" and she goes "oh okay, sorry sorry".

So, honestly, I kinda just wanna go home but I don't wanna be mean and just take off. But there's also no way in hell I'm sleeping over in this motel room. So, I suggest we go out and maybe go to a club or something and she's like "uh, no. I don't like going out" 💀 like damn, maybe you should spend less time on FUCKING TUMBLR AND TRY GOING OUT IRL but whatever, instead we just go get food and bring it back to the room.

Part 5: What Could Have Been

We got some burgers, and she wants to open the Pokemon cards. We do, that's fun and cute, and she asks if I wanna keep some of the stickers that came in one of the packs.

Then she tells me that she had went to the library and checked out a book on tattoos since "she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and thought we could flip through it together." And I genuinely think this is such a cute fucking gesture, I think it's really sweet, and it frustrates the fuck out of me because of what this could have been.

I told her that she did not have to do all the PDA, it was a lot and it was excessive. She is not apologetic about it, and says that the reason she was like that was because "she needed me to know what her intentions were and that this was not just a 'friendly' meeting." so I reiterate that she did not have to do ALL OF THAT just for me to know that. And she just insists that in the past, girls have treated her like just a "bestie" so she needed to get her point across. Now call me old fashioned, but you could have just verbally fucking communicated "hey, i'm really attracted to you" and I would have caught the fucking drift. But okay!!

She asks me if I have any knives because I guess femmes tend to have a knife collection. I say no. And she fucking pulls out this huge ass lethal switchblade thing and is like "this is mine!" and i'm like oh god, this is it, I'm gonna fucking die in this motel room. But she doesn't kill me, she just shows me the cool knife and then puts it away. I have known this person for like 4 hours.

So, we flip through the book, and it's funny and cute, but she keeps trying to kiss me and instigate, and i'm just not interested, I just wanna flip through the book and go the fuck home. And that's pretty much what happens, we finish, I'm like "aight, ima head out" but

before i do

we end up making out again and then I think she was helping me put my shoes on?? she's on her knees in front of me and...she asks me to spit in her mouth. Once again, I have a major aversion to spit and i really, truly, do not want to spit in her mouth. But she says please...so I do like a half assed spit and hope it's good enough. She asks me to try again....so I get an accumulation and spit in her mouth, and she swallows it and i am so so sad about it 😭 and I finish getting my shit and I go the FUCK HOME.

Now here is what frustrates me about all this. Physically? This girl is extremely my type. I like the way she dresses, she has really nice arms, she has a cute face, she's really fucking attractive. She's interested in getting into the animation industry, which I'm currently also working on getting into as well. We could have talked about that and really had a cool discussion on what kind of projects she wants to do and what style she works in. She likes video games, we could have talked more about what games we like. She got this tattoo book because she knows I'm a tattoo artist, and I think that's really fucking cute. There's so many non-sexual aspects that could have made this a real fucking date where I got to know this person, and feel comfortable, and then we could have had really great sex because straight up, the girl was good. She may have learned it from Tumblr, and some of it was weird, but for the most part? She was damn good, especially for only having limited experience. This could have turned into something real! But NO. Chicle, instead, wanted to grope my tits in front of families an hour into meeting me, and made no effort to really let me get to know her in any capacity whatsoever! And it's not like she wanted this to be just a one-night-stand, because she had told me she was looking for a gf and asked me what I was looking for!

It just could have been so much better than this weird ass situation. And after the fact, she texted me and I answered a couple times, but when the following morning she said something to the effect of "it felt so good having you on my lap" I just never answered. Because prior to this, there was absolutely no established relationship, friendship or otherwise. And I could not see anything moving forward, because we couldn't backtrack into the aforementioned "could have been". I considered communicating how I didn't actually feel super comfortable with how things went, but I ultimately just decided to not reply. Shitty on my part, but again, there was no prior anything. And we just never spoke again, we remained mutuals, and so I never talked about this because uh, obviously she would see it. But since she blocked me, heyho now you all get the story!

Part 6: Epilogue

Now, the reason I decided to call her Chicle (Spanish for Gum)

So, while the nice minty gum was a nice gesture, her spitting that gum juice all over my vagina resulted in me getting a yeast infection💀 No more hookups.

So what lessons did we learn!

It's important to talk about sexual boundaries before having sex with someone!

Internet fantasy is not real life! Don't just do shit because you read about it in a fucking internet post or saw it in porn! (Especially when that person doesn't even make those kinds of posts, i don't reblog most of those for a reason)

Don't chew gum before going down on someone

Communication overall is really important for setting up any foundation, even if it is just a one-night hookup!

(yes this is ok the RB cause I spent forever writing this and I do genuinely think it's a very funny story. Sometimes ya just gotta do things for the plot so you get a good story out of it. No regrets, and my pussy is all healed up lmao)

#decided to make this it's own post oops #wlw #lesbian dating #lesbian #storytime #dykeposting #mine #ok to rb

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Why Not 🔞

In which Jungkook has you figured out. Dirty humor, mean and bratty- you're pretty much simply a bitch. So why are you crying over some scraped up knees and a dirty plushy?

Tags/Warnings: non-Idol AU, enemies to lovers, reader acts like she could kill but is actually a cinnamon roll, Jungkook just simply is a cinnamon roll, adult themes, fluff, romance, short!reader go cry about it, smut but very low-carb (handjob, cum in pants oops), slight DDLG-aspects/themes? Soft daddy/dom vibes from kook?

Length: longer than JKs Dick career

Additional Content: How So (Part 2)

A/N: have to post it shortened bc the longer version breaks the app :) have some fluff comfort after all that angst psycho shit I posted.

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It's not like Jungkook hates you. He really, honestly, doesn't.

In fact, he admires how honest you are, in a way. You seem comfortable with yourself, which shows in a healthy amount of confidence, no thought wasted on what people might think of your outfit or makeup. You're very expressive and creative, and you always work out solutions whenever everyone else would suggest simply giving up.

You're just.. too bold for him. He's not really interested in most things you discuss- which is often something lewd- and he also doesn't really share any interests with you. You're a miss know-it-all, you get dramatic if you don't get your way, and you manipulate people around you to even out your road ahead. You make demeaning jokes about yourself and you always put yourself down in a comedic manner- and he just doesn't like that. Even so, he still never casts you out, or ignores you. It's odd, because whenever you have one on one interactions, he can't help but feel like you're not the same as with others around. Just like right now.

You're currently all eating at a sushi place - you're sitting across from him, cleavage dangerously exposed, but he's got no right to be offended by it. In a way, he admires the way you seem to be so comfortable. But he can't help but notice the way you keep adjusting your top all the time, tugging and pulling constantly.

If it's making you so fidgety, why wear it? It irritates him a bit. He'll never understand why most girls choose fashion over comfort.

Your best friend Namjoon had told him before that you're actually not like this at all. That you're a great friend, caring and gentle and actually very fragile, and even a little shy and quiet when no one's around - however, Jungkook believes that's just your best friend trying to make you look good. You're totally fine the way you are - you're just too much for him personally. There's nothing wrong with that.

Just because he might not enjoy your personality, doesn't mean you have to change it.

But he doesn't question it, continues to eat and listen in on conversations, laughing along jokes and funny stories. He likes the energy of this. It's unforced, comfortable, easy. He's just about to continue eating, when he notices the glance you throw at his plate, something you've done a couple of times now, seemingly thinking about something, before looking away again, engaging in the conversation as if to distract yourself. "Do you want a piece?" He asks you as soon as there's a good moment, a bit more quiet as to not interrupt the current topic being discussed at the table.

You look at him, wide-eyed just for a second, before you shake your head. "It's fine. I'll maybe try it next time, though." You tell him with a smile. "Does it taste good?" You wonder, and he can't help but be amused. How come you can make straight-up dick-jokes at the dinner table, but you can't accept his offered food that you clearly got your eyes on?

"I don't know if my taste is the same as yours." He shrugs, watching as you chew on the inside of your lip now. "Let's trade, if that makes you feel better." He offers instead, and at that, you visibly perk up, eagerly putting a piece of yours on his plate to receive his.

You're.. kind of cute like this. Oddly so.

He watches without staring too much as you eat his gifted piece of sushi, clearly enjoying the taste of it as you swing your legs under the table a little. "This is good." You comment, making him nod with a smile before you both pay attention to the conversation again.

He doesn't really think much about the whole interaction afterwards.

It's not like it's anything special.

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"Ah, fuck." Namjoon curses, looking at his phone. "God, fuck. Yoongi I'm so sorry, I forgot I was supposed to drive with Y/N to her doctor's appointment today." He apologizes, making Jungkook look up from his phone.

"Is it something bad?" Yoongi asks, genuinely a bit concerned as Namjoon just seems unsure.

"We don't know, just a routine thing."He replies. "But you never know. And she's a little anxious, too. I wouldn't want her taking the bus or anything alone in that state." He explains, and everyone seems to agree that that's not a good idea. You're well known to not possess the most basic orientation skills sometimes - and with your head all over the place like this, it could just end with you getting hurt.

"What if I drive her real quick?" Jungkook offers casually, looking up from his phone from where he sits on the small sofa in Yoongi's studio. "You both can continue working, and I didn't have anything to do anyways." He shrugs.

"You know what, great idea." Yoongi chimes up.

"I'll.. text her. See if she's okay with that." Namjoon offers with a little hesitance, making Jungkook wonder how serious this appointment really is. Did you have any health troubles you'd been hiding? He's always been told to never judge a book by its cover. Maybe you were just putting on a tough mask to cover up what you thought was weakness?

Jungkook doesn't believe in that. You've always been this way ever since he'd met you.

"She said she's fine with it." Namjoon sighs after a moment, making Jungkook lock his phone and get up. "Here, let me at least bring you down." Namjoon offers, walking out the studio and towards the underground garage where Jungkook has his car parked. "Listen- can you do me a favor?" He wonders, and Jungkook nods.

"Sure." He says, opening the driver's door to throw his wallet into the back together with his jacket. "What is it?"

"Listen, it's a.. gynecologists' appointment." Namjoon says, quietly so, while Jungkook just.. stares, unable to quite grasp on why his friend would say it in a way that makes it seem as if the word is something you can't ever say out loud. So you're going to a specialist. So what? "It's her first time there. She's honestly terrified, so, if you could maybe go in with her and sit in the waiting room? Just, to keep her mind off of things." Namjoon carefully says.

Again, Jungkook just shrugs, before nodding. "Sure, no issue." He says, getting into the car. "I'll text you when she's back home then. You go up and help Yoongi." He says, before putting his phone into the holder, maps app opened to find where you're waiting.

He's a bit confused inside the car. With the way you're always talking, he'd been sure you would've been a regular at those places. Not because he thought you were a whore, God no, but he just believed until now that you'd be someone who's open and casual with it.

So why are you terrified of a simple doctor's visit?

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"You uhm.. really don't have to." You mumble quietly next to him, anxiously playing with your hands in your lap. You've been quiet the entire time, not really talking at all, and especially not looking at him. He's a little worried about that, wondering if you're maybe in pain, or really unwell in general to the point of changing your personality like this. "I know this must be weird for you." You say quietly.

"Not really, no. I went to one of these with my mom once, so its fine." He shrugs next to you, trying to maybe soothe your nerves by showing you that he's not at all weirded out or uncomfortable. To be honest, he's a bit surprised- because right now, the girl sitting next to him, isn't at all the girl he'd thought he had figured out.

However, he also assumes you might just be heavily uncomfortable with your health, which could add to you just behaving like you do right now. "You feeling okay? Should I ask them how long it's gonna be?" He asks, and you just shake your head.

"No, I can wait." You just say, trying hard to appear unbothered now. "Guess I'm just not really looking forward to a fifty-plus year-old digging around where the light doesn't reach, you know?" You attempt to joke as always, but Jungkook can spot the fakeness of it.

"Joon said it's your first time." He says, locking his phone now before putting it away.

"Son of a bitch." You curse under your breath, leaning back in your seat with your arms crossed and legs thrown forwards, heels hitting the floor. You look almost defensive now, as if he'd just insulted you. "Yeah, I didn't need to go until now." You shrug. "But my regular physician keeps bugging me to check some stuff out, and Joon has been bothering me about it too." You say. "Not like he's got anything to do with my vagina for that matter."

"Well, he worries." Jungkook shrugs next to you. "And if you've got health issues, you should always get them checked out for that matter. Could be nothing, could be something. I can understand him." He explains to you. "He cares a lot about you."

"hmhm." You affirm quietly, a bit distant now, staring at the tips of your shoes. "Joon has always been a really good friend." You say, and jungkook nods. Namjoon is the main connection between Jungkook and you- the older guy being somewhat of a brother to him, in a way. He really admired his friend a lot, for his achievements as well as his determination to always better himself. He can't deny that he never really quite understood your friendship with him- with you being so extremely different from him- but he never questioned either. "He's honest." You mumble out, and Jungkook has to agree.

"He is." Jungkook nods, though he feels like there's something more to it. He doesn't get to ask however, because your name is suddenly called- and you jump up, taking a deep breath. "Hey-" Jungkook asks, and you look down to where he sits, as he smiles encouragingly. "-You'll be fine." He promises, and you nod, before disappearing with the nurse into the examination room.

It doesn't take too long for you to emerge back out, a prescription written in front as he gets your coat and walks towards you to the counter. "If it gets any worse, just give us a call, alright?" The nurse asks, and you just quietly nod before you walk out with Jungkook trailing right behind you.

"Everything alright?" He asks, and you nod, though next to him in the car, you run your hands over your face.

"I don't ever wanna go there again." You groan, hands still hiding your face as Jungkook looks at you a bit concerned now.

"Did something happen?" He asks seriously, canceling his action of starting the car.

You take down your hands. "No. It was just.. weird." You say. "The questions were nasty. I don't know." You say quietly, and Jungkook can do nothing but start the car to drive you home. He wishes he could- but at the end of the day, this is something he can't and won't ever really understand fully. He hopes it's just the new experience freaking you out.

Parking in front of your apartment building, you really look a bit terrified now. No longer because of the appointment though- but because of the honestly world-ending rain hitting his car like it's trying to smash it flat into the concrete below. "Its really going hard outside now." Jungkook laughs, but you don't seem to be in a joking manner at all. "If you run you won't get wet."

"I don't want you to drive in this weather." You say meekly, barely able to be heard over the loud rain.

"I'll just wait until it's better." He waves off, looking at you drowned in the orange interior light of his car. You seem to think, before you turn to look at him, eyes reflecting the led lights all around like mirrors. You're really pretty, without all that makeup.

"You can come up? Just, it's cold, and if you leave the car running that's bad for the environment and you're also wasting gas-" you ramble, and he laughs, shutting down the car at that, before grabbing his keys.

"Alright." He shrugs. "If you're cool with that." He asks, and you nod after a moment. He chuckles a bit, before grabbing onto the door handle, still looking at you. "On three?" He asks, and your face lights up in playfulness.

"One?" You start, making him grin.

"Two.." he continues, making you smile as well, before you both pull on the handle.

"Three!"

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Your apartment is everything he did not expect.

"Sorry, it's a bit messy.." you say, taking off your shoes before you slip into the pink slippers close by. The coat hooks on the side of the entrance are cat shaped. The mat where the shoes are put is pink. And from what he can see, everything you have is bright, pastel colored, cute.

Almost innocently so.

You're right and wrong with it being messy, he notices as he walks into the apartment. It's small, but cozy- blankets and round plushies littering the couch close by, kitchen sink containing some dishes you didn't wash or didn't put away yet. It is a bit untidy, but not messy, in his eyes.

It just.. looks like his own apartment. Simply alive.

"Do you.. want tea?" You ask, quietly, and he nods as he walks closer to you in the open kitchen. "I.. have a lot of different flavors so.. just choose one you like." You explain, opening a cabinet that's basically all about tea. Different mugs, mostly animal designs, flower shaped coasters, sugar and many different brands and flavors of tea, boxes a bit unaligned. He pulls out a little baggy of the box that's the most empty, making you smile a bit shyly. "I like that one the most." You admit.

"I assumed. Might as well try it then." He shrugs casually, letting you boil the water while he looks around from his spot. "Your apartment is really nice." He comments.

"Thank you." You answer quietly, pouring the water into the two mugs. "Namjoon sometimes sleeps over because, according to him, my pull-out couch is more comfy than his own bed." You joke, and Jungkook laughs.

"That sounds like him." He nods, accepting the mug before you both walk towards said couch. "Granted, he sleeps on a mattress on the floor though." He tells you.

You laugh. "He's way too much of a cheapskate to buy a bedframe." You shake your head. "He could just buy it and pay it off monthly." You say.

"He could. But I guess we'll never know why he refuses to buy one." Jungkook answers, watching as you toe off your slippers to get more comfortable on the couch next to him- before you put the mug back on the small table, jumping up towards the windows, opening them. "Its still raining heavy." He says, and you nod, turning off the lights, streetlights of the city illuminating the room enough to still see, as you walk back on the couch, pulling a blanket over your shoulders. "What're you doing?" He chuckles when you put one over his shoulders as well.

"I like listening to the rain. And it smells nice." You say, wind blowing into the apartment. "And airing out is important too." You tell him, leaning your head against the backrest of the couch. He nods.

This is nice.

He'd never really thought of those aspects of rain, has always just seen it as bad. It's already slowly stopping to rain so hard, now just a soft mist, but you're right. It smells nice, not like the usual faint city smog, but clean, and fresh. The air might be cold, icy on the tip of his nose, but its also refreshing, calming.

"This is nice." He comments before he turns, noticing a bit of weight on his back. You're asleep, resting against his back, and he uses this moment to look at you a bit.

Maybe Namjoon had been right, he thinks as he adjusts you to lay your head on his thigh, tucking your blanket in around you.

Maybe you're not who he thought you were.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"What do you mean you were inside her apartment?" Namjoon asks, visibly surprised as he puts down his chopsticks for a moment. "She let you inside?"

"It was raining hard, didn't want to let me drive home, so I had some tea at hers and left later. She fell asleep anyways, she was pretty beat, so I left a note and drove home after closing her windows." Jungkook casually explains, continuing his lunch across his friend.

"You do know she doesn't even let her own mother visit, right?" Namjoon asks, and Jungkook shakes his head.

"No, how would I know?" He says. "From how she acts and speaks, I thought she'd have regular visitors." He says, scooping up some rice as his friend across shakes his head.

"No. She hates visitors. She doesn't even open for the mailman." Namjoon says. "Her apartment is her safety zone. I'm surprised she let you in." He shrugs.

"Maybe you just don't know her that well." Jungkook teases his friend.

"You simply don't know her at all, Jungkook." He says. "Listen.. I, don't know how to say this.. " he starts, and Jungkook raises his brow in confusion.

"I'm not gonna fuck her, if that's what you're worried about." He says, and Namjoon runs a hand over his face.

"Thats.. that wasn't something I was worried about until you mentioned it actually." He mumbles. "So yeah. Don't do that please. And also, don't.. just, don't get too close to her. In general."

"Why?" Jungkook wonders honestly now. "Joon, she's not gonna break my heart or something. I'm an adult man, not a lovesick boy going through puberty. She's not even my type." He laughs.

"Jungkook, I'm serious." The older guy says, picking his chopsticks back up. "Just.. leave it as it is right now."

"What're you worried about?" Jungkook wants to know, finishing his meal as he wipes his hands clean. "You seem so serious about this."

"Because I am." He underlines again. "I told you before, she's not who she pretends she is." He reminds the younger, who leans back, arms crossed.

"What, is she a criminal?" He wonders. "Sells drugs? Owns guns? Criminal record?"

"Theres things I won't tell you cause that's not my right." Namjoon explains. "You're a good guy, I know that, she knows that. But if you get too close, she'll just get attached again." He sighs.

"And?" Jungkook clicks his tongue. "Nothing wrong with that. We're attached too. That's what friendships are. Attachments."

"I meant it as in, more than that." Namjoon mumbles in a somber tone.

"Oh." Jungkook realizes. "I.. don't think I'm her type anyways." He laughs it off, but Namjoon doesn't seem convinced.

"Just.. keep your distance." He warns. "Its for the best."

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Namjoon doesn't tell him anything about you since that day.

You don't seem to hang out with everybody as much, and he himself hasn't seen you in what's been weeks now. Everytime he checks on you via your best friend, all he gets is a short answer that's way too vague to be the actual truth. Jungkook isn't sure why he's so interested in the first place. Maybe it's that small tiny glimpse of you that you've shown him, let him taste, before disappearing from his radar.

It bothers him, mainly because he feels like Namjoon has made him out to be the bad guy that's going to break your heart it seems. He's never given a clear reason why. He's never done anything wrong.

But its not like you've vanished into thin air, and because of pure luck, he spots you in a store he's visiting quite often, crouched down at the plushy-section. He almost didn't recognize you, pastel pink bucket hat and facemask hiding you pretty well- but for some reason, he still somehow knows it's you.

You seem to struggle between buying one or the other, holding both as you glance from one of the plush toys to the other.

"Tough decision, hm?" He asks, careful not to startle you but he still does, the seemingly sudden attack of his voice sending you straight onto your butt from your squatting position. "Sorry, I didn't mean to spook you like that." He chuckles, helping you up and standing.

"No worries. I didn't pay attention." You say, while you hold onto the still packaged stuffed animals. "And uh.. yeah. I was thinking of taking, you know, maybe one." You mumble more or less. "Both are too expensive."

"Yeah, they price these pretty high in my opinion." He affirms, poking one of the plastic bags you're holding. "What's so special about these?" He wonders, and your eyes suddenly grow bigger, hands squishing the thing eagerly.

"They're squishy, and soft!" You explain to him eagerly. "Try it! They're like, I don't know, stress balls or something!" You say, and he does as you say, pulling and pressing down on the round purple creature.

"Hm yeah okay, I can see where you're coming from." He nods, charmed by your cute enthusiasm over the toy. "So, which one you taking?"

"I.. like the color of this one, and its a shark, but the other one is a chicken and cute too.. like, look at those little wings.." you complain, pulling on said wings a bit before you look down. "I don't know."

"Why not buy both and just.. skip out on buying any next month?" He wonders. "Treat yourself. For being brave at the doc's." He chuckles, and you start to fidget on the spot a little.

"They're too expensive." You reason. "If I buy both, I won't have enough money to buy proper groceries next week, and Joon has been bugging me about not eating frozen foods all the time.." you complain.

"Well, he's right, that's not exactly healthy." Jungkook agrees, before taking the chicken from you and turning it to see the price tag. "Its alright. Let me buy it then." He shrugs.

"You- no, you really don't have to." You say.

"I know." He smiles. "But I want to."

You don't say anything. You're not sure Jungkook is aware of what he's doing, supporting your bad habit of buying 'kid's stuff' as Namjoon scolds you constantly. Walking towards checkout, you can't help but wonder. "Did you and Joon fight?" You ask, and Jungkook shrugs.

"Not sure, honestly." He admits. "He's.. I guess he doesn't trust me with you."

"What does you mean?" You wonder in a serious manner, careful to make sure the line keeps moving as you walk next to him towards the cash registers.

"Thats what I'm wondering." He says. "Namjoon seems pretty protective over you. I don't know, usually I'd say he's got the hots for you, but he's with Jin, so that can't be the reason." He tells you, before walking closer to the busy cashier.

"As if anyone's got the hots for me but fourty-plus year old men." You scoff.

"Hey now, don't do that." He clicks his tongue. "I bet most guys are just- intimidated by you. You know." He shrugs, waiting in line next to you with the round chicken plush tucked under his arm. "I know I was."

"Was?" You wonder, and he laughs down at you, his smile almost blinding.

"Yeah, definitely past tense." He jokes. "Now I just think you're cute."

You want to question that further. Suddenly, it's your turn, but Jungkook walks right behind you, pulls out his credit card way before you can grab your wallet, pays for both the stuffed animals and walks you out the store.

"How'd you get here?" He wonders, as you both walk outside.

"Bus." You answer, and he nods.

"You want me to drive you home?" He asks. "I don't mind, it's on the way for me."

"Jungkook.." you suddenly say, voice trembling a little as you stand in front of him at the side of the parking lot. "I.. appreciate your kindness but, uhm.. please don't." You say, and he's a bit taken aback by it.

"Did I do something wrong?" He wonders. "If I came off too strong, I apologize. Really didn't mean to."

"Its just that.. I'm kind of tired getting friendzoned." You laugh bitterly. "Its kind of old at this point. Seeing everyone be nice to you and then move on once they've found their special someone."

"Thats.." he starts, brows all scrunched up as he stands in front of you. "You're not some part-time activity." He explains honestly to you. "I'm not being nice to you to fight my boredom or anything like that. And you're definitely not friendzoned." He chuckles a little.

"I'm always friendzoned." You scoff. "I'm just everyone's little sister, or the lewd one that's always up for a random call when the date doesn't show up." You argue.

"Well, here's the thing." Jungkook tells you, gently uncrossing your arms before placing the two round plushies in each, respectively. "I really don't care what's made you build up that tough mean-girl persona you've created. But I'd like to get to know the girl that's looking at me right now, just like this." He grins, tapping the underside of your chin teasingly. "You're teasing me with those glimpses of you every now and then. I want to know more, if you'd let me."

"That 'me' is boring." You say. "She's childish."

"I've thrown a tamper tantrum before." He shrugs.

"She's stupid." You tell him, but he shakes his head.

"I doubt that. We all got brain-farts every now and then." He crosses his arms, amused smirk on his face at your attempts to drive him away.

"She's cries over Disney movies." You try, and he laughs.

"Hey come on, everyone cries over the fox and the hound!" He simply defends, and you sigh, almost annoyed.

"Jungkook you say all that right now as if it won't end with me hopelessly falling in love with you, while you're gonna leave me behind because 'you're sorry but you've met someone and you're a great friend but nothing more'!" You complain.

"You won't even try and let me love you." He softly says, and you're a little shocked at how easy he says the for you dreaded 'L'-word. It's a big word. A heavy one. "I can't stand here and promise you that I'll fall in love with you, because first and foremost, I don't know you. And you don't know me either." He explains. "But that's something we can change. You just have to let me in."

"And you don't have to let me in?" You try and jab at him, making him laugh.

"I don't have to let you in." He simply says. "You've been seeing who I am the whole time. I'm not hiding anything." He shrugs.

"..." you pull the two stuffed animals a bit closer to yourself, plastic crinkling in your arms before you speak. "What if you don't like who I am?" You wonder quietly.

"Then at least we tried." He offers. "Life is scary. Meeting new people is scary. Letting people go is scary." He softly explains. "But if you just hide away from those things, you'll also miss out on opportunities to experience something great. Meet someone special. Or create a memory you'll never forget."

"So you're saying you already know you won't like me?" You say, now just being stubborn to see what he does.

"Stop putting words into my mouth you brat." Be laughs. "I don't like the 'you' that you force yourself to be. I know that for sure." Jungkook tells you, grabbing his car keys from his pant pocket. "But I feel like I'm gonna like this you that's right in front of me right now a lot."

He speaks bold, appears honest. You're still not sure if you trust him. And namjoon had told you to really keep him at distance, stay on high alert of anything.

But somehow, he's caught you, sticky like honey already staining your skin.

And you've always had a sweet tooth.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

It kind of feels like sneaking around.

Even though right now, you're doing nothing naughty at all, not even remotely. Jungkook is simply helping you cook, watches the pizza in the oven before he puts the mitts to the side. "You got a timer set?" He wonders, and you nod.

"I've got it to the full time for now, let's hope we don't forget the check every now and then." You say, and he nods, walking into the living room with you. The smell of food is already slowly invading your space, and you open a window to make sure it airs out before you'll go to bed later.

He's staying over. You're surprisingly calm about it.

On the couch, he's looking at you from the side. "What?" You wonder, and he shrugs.

"I'm just wondering." He says. "Why do you act so differently around others?"

"Because everyone walks over you when you're soft." You explain, pulling your legs closer to yourself next to him. "No one takes you seriously. You're just the quiet girl and nothing interesting. No one cares." You mumble.

Jungkook wants to tell you that's not true, but he knows that he'd be wrong. It's sad that soft hearts get put in a hard shell because of what most people think should be an admirable personality. Someone strong doesn't have to be someone who's always bold and loud.

When his fingers find your knee, you stiffen. It makes him question out loud what he's been having on the tip of his tongue for a while now, ever since arriving at your place. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" He wonders, and you shake your head- before shrugging, unsure. "You're a bit confusing. In a way, cause you seem like you want me close, but when I am, you start to look all cornered, just like now." He wonders.

"Yeah well.. when a guy touches me, it's always been just for that." You say. "You know. Sex."

His face becomes serious. You notice quickly how that sounded.

"Nothing bad ever happened! Not really." You admit. "But it's.. I guess I should've told you right from the start. So you won't get your hopes up." You sigh. "I don't.. want to have sex."

"Okay." He says. "Neither do I right now. I just want to touch you. Nothing else."

"Yeah no, I mean it as in- not right now, probably not anytime soon, maybe never?" You ask more or less. "I've.. never had sex before. And at this point it feels like I've just passed all the opportunities to have it with anybody."

"Do you dislike the thought of it?" He wonders. "What's making you uncomfortable about it?"

"I.. guess I'm scared it'll be awkward?" You say, wiggling your feet a bit. "What if I don't like something, for example? Or if I make a weird sound, or, I don't know, don't cum or you don't cum and then it's all wasted time and just awkward.." you try and explain.

"You're intimidated by it." He sums it up for you, and you nod. "Thats fine. First's are scary, no matter what kind."

"I'm an adult." You conquer. He laughs.

"I'm one too, and I'm still freaked out by shit!" He laughs. "But, to get back to the topic, I'm okay with that."

"Okay with not having sex?" You wonder, and he nods.

"I mean, I get it's important for most people, and I like the intimacy of it, yeah. But it's not a necessity." He shrugs. "I can jerk myself off just fine."

You deflate a little, both because you feel more calm now, but also because you don't know how to tell him you might be interested in the entire topic. But it seems like he can read minds.

"We can also, you know, ease into it." He offers. "Doesn't have to be all hard-core bondage first time." Jungkook laughs. "You okay with this whole discussion?" He gently asks, and you nod.

You're weirdly alright with it.

"So let's like- what do you like?" He wonders. "As in, when you masturbate, what's something you enjoy?"

You cringe a bit. He laughs. You're cute.

"I.. uh.." you stammer, voice a lot more quiet now. "I've got like, a vibrator? That's nice." You shrug. "Other than that, uhm, just my hand. You know. Basic stuff."

Jungkook nods. "Ever put something in?"

"It.. uh. Dunno. Never really came from it alone." You say. "Which is also why I think sex with me is gonna be weird because I've never really gotten myself off on just that." You say.

"Doesn't mean anything." He shakes his head. "The mood, foreplay, all of that makes a huge difference. That and the fact that someone else is doing it. I remember my first handjob I got. It was weird as fuck, even though technically I should've been used to it." He laughs. "I think what personally scared me most was just being naked I guess." He offers some past fears of his own.

You nod at that. "Same."

"You're pretty tough." He smiles. "I'm not just saying that. I think you're pretty, with clothes and without as well." He flirts.

"I'm still not having sex with you." You defend yourself, and he shrugs, smiling still.

"I know." He tells you. "I'm still fine with that."

It's quiet for a moment, until you speak up again. You're not sure why you're bringing it up again when you could've just let it go, because clearly you've always been against the idea of having sex with someone. But with Jungkook, for some reason, it's so easy to talk about all of this.

"I.. you said you'd ease into it " you mumble quietly. He nods. "How?"

"I could just jerk you off." He shrugs. "Simple hand job. Clothes can stay on."

"And then?" You wonder.

"Then what?" He chuckles. "The you'll know if you like someone else doing something like that for you." He offers.

"What if I'll fall in love with you then?" You quietly ask, and he impishly smiles.

"Then I've done one he'll of a good job." He jokes, before looking at you more seriously. "In all seriousness though. I wouldn't mind you falling in love with me."

"I can tell." You say, looking away. "You're easy to love."

"Thank you." He offers. "You're very easy to fall in love with too."

"That makes no sense." You roll your eyes. "Love and lust aren't the same. You just want to screw me."

"Do I?" He raises his brows. "Can't lie and say you're not physically attractive to me. But I stand by what I said. If you don't want sex, I won't ask for it."

"You'll just end up leaving me for someone who wants it." You bitterly laugh. He doesn't look happy.

"No." He says. "Okay, do you want be with me? Emotionally, I mean?" He asks you, and you look at him wide eyes. "Yes, I'm asking you out here."

"I-" you stammer, caught off guard. "Yeah?"

"Is that a question or an answer?" He teases, making you whine.

"Maybe? Yes?" You try again, but he just shakes his head.

"Alright." He simply answers. "I'll go look, see if the pizza is burned yet. You calm down, I think I've riled you up enough." He laughs, hand on your shoulder for just a second before he leaves you to yourself, giving you some breathing room.

It gives you time to think.

You like him. He's a nice guy, good looking too, and he seems honest about his intentions. You don't love him yet, but its clear that he's easy to fall in love with. But isn't love a requirement to start a relationship? Can you just get together and then fall in love?

You're not sure. But you also want to find out.

So when he emerges from your kitchen, you call out to him. "I want to." You say, and he looks at you wide eyed for just a moment, before he seems to realize what you're talking about. "I.. wanna be with you." You say.

And he smiles, grins brightly, like a kid just being offered a trip to Disney world.

"Okay."

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

"Everything alright?" He chuckles, voice breaking the silence in the darkened living room. "I can hear you creeping around."

It's true, you've been trying to keep quiet because you really don't know how to ask this. It's been bugging you for hours now, there's no way it seems you'll be able to fall asleep without at least attempting to solve this issue. But how do you ask for it?

He'd asked you out. You're together now, right?

"I- uh.." you wonder quietly, navigating slowly towards the pull-out couch where he's laying on. "Just wanted to see if everything's alright." You chicken out last moment, and he laughs softly.

"I'm alive and well." He answers you, before he throws back one side of the blankets, patting the spot next to him. "You wanna sleep here?" He wonders, and you sigh.

"How come you know that?" You almost whine, walking closer before you crawl underneath the warmed up blankets he'd been resting under. "Thanks." You say, but he shakes his head.

"No problem. You can come closer, too." He tells you more quietly now that you're already laying next to him.

It takes a moment for you. You're not sure how close you want to get, how close he will let you- so you slowly scoot forwards, inching closer like a scared animal before you finally settle with your head on the inside of his shoulder, arm over his middle. "Is that okay?" You wonder. He nods.

"Definitely." He answers. "Do you cuddle a lot?" He wonders, and you shake your head.

"I've not.. cuddled with anybody since I was a child." You admit. "So I.. jungkook, I'm gonna need a lot of help for this." You confess quietly. "I don't know how this works. How I'm supposed to act, what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what's right and what's not."

"Thats fine." He reassures you.

It's a little silent after that. You don't know what to say, how to ask. Isn't it weird now? Won't you move too fast? "What's going on in there." He teases, finger flicking your head rather gently. You move around a little uncomfortably. He notices right away. "Not good? You can go back to your bed if it's not comfortable." He offers.

"I don't know.." you say, unsure how to put it in words. "..I'm still thinking about what you said. Earlier." You mumble.

"What exactly?" He wonders quietly.

"The uhm.. you know. Sex part." You stammer out.

"I really don't need it." He chuckles. "Might be hard to grasp but if you don't want it I won't bother you with it."

"I want to." You say. It's dead quiet for a moment before you continue. "Like.. how you said. You know, start small, and all that." Tou explain.

"Okay." He answers after a moment. "Right now?" He asks. You nod.

"I just.. don't know what to do. And I didn't shave- oh God okay no maybe some other day then-" you ramble, he laughs.

"Who cares if you shave?" He jokes easily. "Its fine by me. I don't mind it." He tells you.

"You're weird." You cringe a bit. "Guys don't like that-"

"Maybe you've just met idiots then." He shrugs. "I'm honest here. I don't care if you shave or not. You could dye that hair downstairs pink, who am I to tell you what your body has to look like?" He scoffs playfully, making you laugh a little.

This is why you like him. He's easy. Simple. Comfortable.

"Do you want me to use something? Or just my hand?" He wonders quietly, and you just shrug.

"I wanna.. you know. Know if I like what you do." You offer, and he hums an affirmative reply at that, hand under the covers feeling for your thigh.

"You can stop me at any time." He almost whispers. "It won't be awkward, I promise." He assures, and you nod, letting his palm explore under the covers. You're not sure if he's careful or just plain teasing- but most of all, it's strangely exciting.

He moves you a bit, pulls you closer, eyes searching for ant signs of discomfort. "Jungkook..?" You ask quietly, and he chuckles a bit before nodding. "..can you uhm.. maybe kiss me?" You wonder, and there's no reaction for a moment, until he moves again, adjusts himself so he can properly angle himself, lips meeting yours carefully so.

The first one feels weird. You're unsure. You lift your head in a moment if bravery to try again, and it gets more comfortable.

It's nice.

He seems amused, but not at you - more at the fact that you're a lot more independent than you might've thought you'd be in a situation like this.

You're leading him. You're probably not aware, but your body language and responses all speak clearly to him about what you enjoy and what you don't. At first, he stops any advances, but you whine for him to continue. "Just.. cold hands."

"Sorry." He chuckles. "My fingers are pretty cold sometimes." He jokes. You nod, breathing a bit heavier now as soon as his hands warm up, slowly traveling underneath your underwear, middle finger easily finding your most sensitive spot. "Feeling good?" He wonders, and you nod, squirming around a bit.

"More." You ask, moving around a little, seemingly unsure where to put your limbs. He's doing it very differently from how you'd do it- but it's nice. He's making you feel good, not just in lust, but also in general.

There really isn't anything weird about it.

Or maybe your brain is just a bit foggy.

You want to stop him suddenly, feeling too sensitive, and he does halter his movements to check in with you. "What's wrong?" He asks.

"Weird. Sensitive- I.. don't know." You say. "I feel like I'm gonna pee or something." You say.

"Have you ever had an orgasm before?" He wonders, and you suddenly think. Have you? You're not sure.

"I.. don't know." You say.

"Hm." He cocks his head to the side a little, amused look on his face. "Lets see then." He almost challenges, resuming his activities, making you squirm yet again as you feel like something might be happening. Your back arches, and suddenly, you're not sure why you can't help but gasp out, his movements perfectly stable as pleasure rolls over you in waves. "There we go." He laughs, watching as you slowly come back down.

"Thank you.." you say breathlessly, before cringing at the sight of his glistening hand. "Uhm.. do you want me to do something too.?"

"It's okay." He says. "I've enjoyed watching you. That's enough." Jungkook chuckles, before pulling back the covers. "No, clean up. I gotta wash my hand and change too." He laughs, slapping your thigh with his clean hand.

"Change?" You wonder, standing up and cringing at the slippery feeling between your legs.

"I told you." He laughs, and only now do you notice a wet spot on his sweatpants as he'd turned on the lights. "I really enjoyed myself as well."

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

He's warm.

His arm lays heavy over your body, breathing soft and barely noticeable on the skin of your neck. Jungkook has slept close to you the entire night, didn't mind when you stole the blanket from him it seems. He's holding onto you, face clear of any worry, no muscle tensed as he sleeps.

He slowly seems to wake up, pulls you closer for a moment as he stretches his limbs and back, before his tired eyes open. "Hey." He greets with a raspy voice.

"Hey." You quietly greet back. He chuckles.

"How do you feel?" He wonders, pulling you closer with a sleepy grin.

"Good. Happy." You say.

"In love?" He wonders.

You nod.

And he smiles, brighter than the sun already high up in the sky outside your window.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff

[shiny-jr]

So what was the process like for creating the MC's personality in damantion au? Like how similar they are to their counterparts

how close they are to the version of the characters in the film they are based on.

I assume you're asking this for each MC thus far? Since I won't reveal too much on the last two MC's yet. So, this'll probably be a long post, or not, as there isn't a lot about the MC's that hasn't already been said.

King!MC. The very first MC I developed for the damnation series. In fact, I thought of this MC before I even knew damnation would become a pretty long series. They were the first, they came before the majority of the plot and all. At that point, all I knew was I want an MC that acts like the king, and screws things up. And thus, King!MC was born. I mainly drew inspiration from the animated version of the King of Hearts, however, the fate the MC knew awaited them was inspired by what had happened to the King of Hearts in the live-action version. I would say that of the MCs thus far, they are the most like their counterpart. Although the King of Hearts is not a major character in the animated film and only appears for brief moments, those few seconds give the little guy a lot of personality, which I drew from and then some. Really, I just wanted someone kinda pathetic with Riddle.

Chief!MC. Before I even began writing for them, my main goal for them was to be the epitome of girlboss, boyboss(?), theyboss(?). Basically I wanted them to be badass, a mature figure but still with a bit of a temper or snark at certain times. Someone that could stand toe-to-toe with Leona when he's being cunning. Like the previous MC, here I had the privilege of having two sources, the animated one and the live-action version. In the animated version, Shenzi is more humorous at times but in the live-action, she's much more serious, so I used both. I thought I'd used their point of view to portray a different perspective of the Lion King story, and use Chief!MC's traits and desire to survive push the plot forward but eventually make mistakes due to being a bit rash at times.

Diviner!MC. Ah yes, the first difficult MC. For them, I had to think a while. I was stuck thinking, just where exactly I could assign their role since there was essentially no role for them. For a short time, I entertained the thought of a possible apprentice under Azul, but in the end I opted against the idea as that would make it difficult for MC to reason why they would want to leave and it would make things more complicated with the whole legs and fins, air and water, thing which was hard enough to write for. Diviner!MC is loosely inspired by Vanessa, the identity taken up by Ursula. I say loosely, because yes, while they did take over seducing the love interest, they also changed things. There were a lot of changes I had to make in order for this new role to work, such as the protagonist also being seduced. Really, it just made a whole mess and it was not fun. Ultimately, not an MC I'm proud of, but they're there. I figured someone suave and confident was needed for the role, not only to be distinct from the meek King!MC and assertive Chief!MC, but also to be on par with Azul.

Anyways, that's a lot so I'll leave that there for now. Let me know if you wanted to hear about Vassal!MC and Retainer!MC, and I'll answer that in a separate post.

#shiny speaks #damnation twst au

[theresattrpgforthat]

It would be awesome if you could recommend some solo ttrpgs! I've been getting into them a lot lately and want to know more of what's out there. Especially journalling ones, as I enjoy creative writing. So far I've looked into (and will probably buy soon) Firelights, Apawthecaria, and Fox Curio's Floating Bookshop.

Also, I love this blog a ton. Already there have been some awesome games I've learned about from you, including the one you're currently working on. Excited to give it a try sometime! Keep being amazing 💜.

Theme: Solo Journalling Games

Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm certainly excited to run Protect the Child for folks, play-testing it so far has been really fun!

As for your ask, solo games and journalling go hand in hand. These next few games are just a sampling of what I've added recently to my Solo Games folder on Itch.

Cats Know Things, by Mushroom Witch Games.

CATS KNOW THINGS is a light-hearted game meant to tell a humorous story of intrigue, all while pretending to be a very nosy cat. 

But you are no ordinary cat.

You are a very special feline who, through some magic you cannot explain, can communicate with your human, an individual who wishes to make their mark in society by any means necessary. The two of you decide to start a society page, (a very fancy type of tabloid newspaper dedicated to a particular location) revealing the glitz, glamour, and inner turmoil of the town’s most notable individuals. 

Use a d6 and a d10 to generate numbers, and sneak into places to listen into secret or private conversations. Then bring this news to your human companion, so that they may relay this gossip in the local society page. You need to find 6-8 scintillating stories before the week is up, so that your human has enough to print.

If you want a game full of scandal and cute furry little rumour-mongers, this might be the game for you!

Lingering, by Meghan Cross.

The last thing you remember, you were dying.

Now, breath fills your lungs once more and your eyes open, slowly shifting side to side as you attempt to regain your bearings. You are alive. But you are…changed. Your human form is gone, and in its place is one that is different, foreign, animal…

In Lingering, you play as a person who has died, only to find yourself alive again in an animal form, unable to move on to your eternal rest until you settle business left unsettled from your life. 

Throughout the course of a game, you will make several attempts to communicate with a chosen human, hoping to convey a message to them so they can assist you and help you move on once and for all. 

This game uses a deck of cards and some guiding adjectives to determine how your attempts at communication will go. Over eight rounds, you’ll flip cards while guessing as to whether each card will be higher or lower than the previous one, and a successful guess means a successful interaction. The details of those attempts are what you’ll be journalling, and Lingering provides a number of questions that you might try to answer with each attempt.

This game takes place over eight rounds, so it’s excellent if you want a short, contained game. It also has a two-player option if you want to try this game out with a loved one.

Dragon Dowser, by HatchlingDM.

Dragon Dowser is a solo journaling RPG using the Carta SRD by Peach Garden Games. You play a mysterious character known as a 'Dowser'. Your aim is to locate abandoned dragon eggs and return them to your Sanctuary. If you succeed before expending your resources, the hatchling you rescue will be reared to change the kingdom forever! 

This is a lovingly crafted game that uses card suits to represent four different kinds of ways your character will be tested, as they interact with different cultures, explore new landscapes, and dea with various conflicts, both human and nature-made.

You’ll travel across a grid of cards that provide you with journaling prompts as you travel. You’ll expend resources to overcome obstacles, looking for a dragon egg, represented by an Ace! Once you return this egg to a sanctuary, you’ll journal about your experience of raising the hatchling. Based on the games you’ve mentioned so far, I think Dragon Dowser is right up your alley.

EDEN, by blasez-faire.

You are Judaiah Clark, the Head Botanical Researcher at the Southern Sector of Eden. You are here for exactly 10 days, and were a last minute choice after the sudden disappearance of ■■■■■■ ■■■■■, the last person to hold this position. You are not here for work. Investigate.

EDEN is a single-page game that takes place over the course of 10 in-game days, with two questions that you will have to answer in your journal for every day. You are expected to write up a report with detailed notes, so much of the extrapolation taken from each pair of questions is going to come from your own imagination. To help with this you might want to come up with names for other characters, draw a map of the Southern Sector, or go into detail about the plants that this research station grows.

One thing is for sure - this is going to be a horror story. If you like games that give you a lot of room to stretch your creative wings, and you also like writing terrible endings for your characters, you might like this game.

Black Mountain Numbers Station, by Simon de Vet.

You wake one morning to the sound of a voice on the radio reading a series of numbers. On impulse, you jot them down. These numbers will become your life.

Black Mountain Numbers Station is a one-page, solo-journaling game about a mysterious broadcast, and about finding patterns in randomness. Using a unique dice mechanic to prompt you to describe your journey, you will tell a short story of obsession, frustration, and discovery.

This game is uses a 6x6 grid with boxes that you’ll need to fill when you roll a pair of dice. You’ll trigger evens when you roll doubles or find a certain pattern on the grid as you fill it, and in both of these cases, you’ll write special journal entries. The game ends when you fill your Frustration track, which symbolizes listening for too long without learning anything new. What exactly you learn, however, is up to you.

Bound, by K Ramstack.

Bound is a single player setting agnostic game about the connection between two people as they travel to a destination through the destruction of the world on a journey they will most likely not complete.

You will create two characters, their relationship to one another, the destruction that haunts them, and the motive for them to move forward.

During the game, you will be asked to write scenes in first person, switching perspectives between characters, and using their personality traits and subjective conceptualizations of each other to answer prompts.

Bound has a single and two-player version, and uses two decks of playing cards, one for each character. Each card will relate to a prompt on the prompt table, but only the highest ranked prompt will be answered. Each prompt will ask a question about the relationship, and how it changes.

If you want a deeply emotional game with a beautiful layout and lovely art, this is the game for you.

The Narrator Paradox, by psychound.

The Narrator Paradox is a one page solo-narrating game where you try to tell a story … if your protagonist will let you. In it, you determine the five acts of your story based on an oracle, then make rolls for your plot beats to see if you can wrangle your protagonist into the prescribed narrative. If you can't, they defy you and take the story into their own hands. Wrestle the story into shape against a rebellious hero, or lose them forever and have to finish the story without them in it. 

Using the Major Arcana of a tarot deck, two six-sided dice and a coin, The Narrator Paradox has a number of different ways that you’ll try to keep your story on track. However, with so much randomness, your protagonist is sure to have a mind of their own. This feels very much in tune with how many writers talk about their characters as if those characters have their own desires, so if you’ve ever related to that you might enjoy this game.

Also Check Out...

My Solo Games tag! I use this tag for every recommendation post specifically for solo games.

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #game recommendations #dnd #asks #indie ttrpg #solo games

[gojo-chan]

Fluff alphabet with Xiao

A little sfw alphabet for our favourite Adeptus, no usage of y/n and the reader is gender neutral

Warnings: none just fluffy fluff, because it’s Xiao there is a teeny tiny bit of angst like he’s insecure etc, slight spoilers of Xiao’s story and voicelines, English isn’t my first language so if you see mistakes please tell me

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

He likes the way you can calm him, reassure him that he’s doing enough… he likes how you just love him for who he is and don’t judge him for his past and weaknesses. He likes feeling understood

B = Bonding (what's your favorite mutual bonding activity?)

He just melts when he lays his head on your lap and you start tracing his tattoo, feeling his scars etc… just feeling his skin with your soft touch

However, it will take him some time to let you be that intimate with him. (He will flinch the first times you try to caress him, even if you warn him beforehand)

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Xiao will never admit it but he likes to be cradled and held. Please let him rest him on top of you but don’t comment on it or he’ll never do it again…

When you want to be held, he’ll gladly do it, embracing you until you fall asleep in his arms

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Dates with Xiao would be very peaceful and calm in general. Before being in a relationship with you, Xiao knew barely anything about dates, so he was a little nervous at the idea of having some with you. He likes to take you out to stroll in quiet areas of Liyue, where he just holds your hand and enjoys your presence and the scenery

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

At the beginning of your relationship, Xiao finds it very difficult to show you how he feels. He has a hard time communicating with his words and prefers to use actions and kind gestures to convey his love. After some time, he gets a little better at expressing his feelings but his love language doesn’t change

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Xiao would not be comfortable at the idea of having a family. He is the protector of Liyue, the Vigilant Yaksha and the Conqueror of Demons, he does not have time for such things. If you take enough time to convince him (you better be immortal lol) he will maybe give it a thought

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

Giving you gifts wouldn’t be something regular for him. It’s always unexpected and so meaningful. Xiao doesn’t give you gifts to give you gifts. He shares a part of his soul, it’s like a piece of his dedication towards you. You talked about something you liked to him? He will store this information in a corner of his mind and offer it to you when you already forgot about it

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

In public, Xiao will never hold your hands. He’s not a fan of pda and if you just look at him lovingly in front of others he will pass away.

When the both of you are alone though, he likes to touch your hands, feel your palm and fingers with his. It just feels very intimate to him

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

He will blame himself. Please reassure him or he’ll never forgive himself… he will make sure you’re alright and patch you up the best he can. He even would go to Bubu pharmacy to see if there is a way to relieve the pain

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Xiao isn’t a prankster (shocking I know) though he appreciates humorous people and will gladly listen to your jokes with a slight smile plastered on his face

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Whatever you do, he will always be a blushing mess afterwards. He is the most comfortable with soft and short kisses where your lips barely touch

When you do kiss him more passionately, he just stops functioning. He will look at you wide-eyed and just won’t say a word, completely flustered

L = Love Confession (how'd they confess to you? how'd you get together?)

I think your relationship just kind of happened. He is the kind of guy to dismiss his feelings towards you until you’re literally hugging him. Afterwards he notices how much effect you have on him and it’s honestly a little scary to him

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

During the festival season, no one used to pray to him. That’s until you came in his life, and each year, offered incense for him. He said he didn’t care that people wouldn't pray for him but when you did, something felt so special about it. It made his heart flutter and he thinks seeing you being all giddy about it afterwards makes it the best memory of you two. Even if it’s “simple” it means so much more to him

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

The mere thought of hurting you on accident makes him sick. What is his karmic debt ended up harming you? What if you saw him in his true form and were so terrified or disgusted by it that you would leave him? These thoughts could easily make Xiao spiral and in these moments he just needs you to reassure him, although he will never ask for any kind of support

O = Obvious (how obvious do they make it that they like you?)

Noticing that Xiao fell for you was quite difficult. He dismissed his own feelings for a long time and hid his emotions towards you even more. The only “clue” would have been that he actually cared for you. He would enjoy spending time with you, unlike with other mortals

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

I think pet names are one of the things Xiao doesn’t really understand about humans. You have a name why should he call you something else..? If you insist he’ll call you something like “love” to make you happy

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

Xiao doesn’t feel the need to be vocal during your quality time. Just cuddling with you in bed will already make him feel so content without the need to utter a word. It could also be just sitting outside in the evening, silently admiring how the sun goes down in Liyue while his fingers are intertwined with yours

R = Romance (how romantic are they?)

Xiao is romantic in his own way. He doesn’t know much about human love traditions, so he just shows you his loves his own way. It can be by just by discreetly sliding your hand in his (it wasn’t on purpose of course, we all believe you Xiao) or by letting you eat some of his almond Tofu without complaining

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

Xiao is not one to discuss about how he feels. He will open up with some a lot of time and tell you about his past, but they are some things that will remain a mystery to you

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Just getting to talk to him was a hassle, imagine getting him to realise that he likes you and that you like him back?! You better be patient because this man will take forever to get in a relationship with you

U = Unique (what makes them unique?)

As an Adeptus, I think Xiao is already pretty unique. He has a few cute quirks that will always make you smile (like eating snow). In a relationship, Xiao would be quite unique too. Since he’s not a human and knows not much about them, he handles his love for you in his own way, clumsily but very sweetly

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? do they like to show you off?)

Like I said before, Xiao isn’t a pda-fan at all. He would be very proud of building a trusting relationship between you two but he would definitely not show it in public. Not a lot of people would even know that he is in a relationship with someone

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

He would be terrified at the thought of loosing you. Xiao probably wouldn’t even let you fight along with him, but if you were to, he would be overprotective give his absolute best.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

Very, very poorly… he just doesn’t get human emotions (he tries his best with you though 🥺). As time goes on, he starts to get used to your habits and gets a grasp of how to deal with your emotions. Be patient with him, he really wants to understand you

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

I just imagine him doing his research asking Zhongli on how to correctly propose. Poor guy he is completely panicked at the idea of messing up. Once he’s prepared enough, he will take you to a nice calm spot under the moonlight and get on one knee. He will be so nervous during the whole evening, it would be impossible for you not to notice it.

Z = Zzz (how do they act when they're sleepy? what's it like sharing a bed with them?)

Xiao canonically doesn’t sleep, but if you were to let him rest on your chest while playing with his hair… there would be a slight chance of him dozing off… 🤫

When you’re asleep in your shared bed though, Xiao likes look at you sleeping. He prays he doesn’t come of as a creep, but seing you so peaceful just does something to him

Thank you for reading!

Masterlist

#xiao fluff #xiao fanfic #xiao x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #sfw alphabet #xiao genshin x reader

[jarofstyles]

FICTOBER DAY 11- Smile

FICTOBER Prompts/Masterlist

Patreon

1.3k

Warnings- incubus/succubus, smut, threesome mention/ sex w other people mention, mmf/ffm mention, demons, blood, halloween etc

“It’s never a good thing when you smile like that…” Y/N whispered as she tugged her partner’s arm towards her, eyes narrowed in humorous speculation as she watched his smirk grow. The club was dark and foggy from that god awful fog machine the hired DJ had brought, the scents mixing in the room making her want to plug her nose. 

Halloween made it much easier for them to be their authentic selves. Harry and Y/N often had to hide their eyes, curtain them with human presenting ones when they went out to search for trouble. Tonight, Halloween night, had to be the best of the year. Mischief and sex, costumes galore, sin city personified. Their black eyes were assumed contacts, Y/N’s sharp black nails dragging over the front of Harry’s chest. A short black skirt barely covered her thighs and a lacy black corset top was doing little to hide her swirls of black markings down her neck and back. Harry’s were slightly more hidden, but his form always got attention. It’s what made them so good at what they did. 

Succubus and Incubus. 

“It’s a good thing you love to be bad, isn’t it my love?”

Y/N chuckled, trailing her fingers up his bare skin and catching his jaw, nails digging into the skin as she turned it back towards him. “What’s the point of wearing a shirt if you’re barely going to button it, hm?” She squeezed his face, her own saucy smile rising on her lips. “Who’s caught your eye, darling? Someone pretty that we can feed on?” Her eyes met his, reading that he had done exactly that. 

When they normally went on the prowl, they’d take their time- but it was like a buffet tonight. People ready and willing, eyeing both of them up. They were made for pure sexual attraction, humans being drawn to them like a magic spell as their energy infiltrated a space. To be chosen by both of them? The human would have stories for days. Being in a threesome with two of the best looking people they’d ever seen, bragging rights for days. They wouldn’t miss the blood that either of them took, nor would they mind their sexual energy being feasted on. For humans, it was a magical experience. No loss, no hurt, only one of the most pleasurable and euphoric experiences of their lives. The haze would follow them for days and they’d feel their touches for weeks on end, but it wasn’t harmful. Wistful, perhaps.

 The only drawback? No one would ever compare. 

They’d search the world for a human who’s cock was able to press right into that spot like Harry’s had, someone’s tongue that swirled around their most sensitive bit the way Y/N’s did, desperate for a taste of either of them, but they wouldn’t. Not unless they came about another of their kind. 

Their routine varied, as Harry claimed that ‘Variety is the spice of the afterlife’. Sometimes her chose, sometimes she did. It wasn’t like there was a lack of interested participants who approached them either. But Halloween was a night that all sorts of guidelines were lifted, and their rule for only having one encounter a day was lifted. With the ability to keep the spread of diseases, they didn’t have to wait to leave from one club to another, working on their third now. The high was lifting them up, their first two playmates safely tucked in cabs to get back home and surely sleeping off the exhaustion they had given them. 

“Show me, H. I chose last time, so it’s your turn now.” She watched his eyes flutter shut as she dragged her nails back down his throat to rest at his chest, a subtle growl leaving his throat. He loved pain, loved her nails, and his one and only soul mate. The sex with others was fun and games, a way to provide energy, but his real lifeforce was loving his sweet goddess. No one would ever compare to her, to the way she made him feel both inside and out of the bedroom. 

There was a difference between fucking for fun and for their needs, versus the love they made to one another. Their lovemaking varied between soft, soppy morning sex to bloody, rough, primal sex. There was no doubting what they preferred, and it was always each other. His arm wrapped around her waist, swinging her swiftly in front of him as he dipped his face to press cheek to cheek. “The one in the little devil costume.” He murmured, brushing his cock against her ass. “We did an angel earlier, but I’d like to see what the little devil has in store. Bet it’ll be a lot of fun, don’t you think?” He brushed his lips against her cheek, pecking it lightly. “Messy girl. Still have a bit of blood on you.” Swiftly, his tongue licked against the corner of her lips and hummed before tightening his grip on her. “We’re only halfway through the night. Already getting messy for me?” He clicked his tongue at her, feeling her eye roll despite knowing her arousal was at the top. 

“It’s the one day we can be. I can get blood all over my outfit and no one will blink an eye, think m’just a sexy creature.” She laughed, turning in his strong arms to peer up at him. “You know how much I love a mess, but you’re worse than me, aren’t you?” Her thumb was gentle now, brushing his bottom lip. It was still swollen and some of her lipstick stained them a cherry red, enhancing his pale skin even more. His clean shaven jaw was sharp as a tack and his white teeth tried to nip at the pad of her thumb playfully, but she was too quick. Her man was too handsome for his own good. “Mm… I know you love to bury your tongue in holes, any of them, and get all wet.” She had seen it firsthand just 30 minutes ago, the woman writhing under them as Y/N sat pretty on her face and watched Harry lose himself in the taste of their new friend.  “I can still smell that girl on you. She was a fun one, wasn’t she? Had to revoke those wings as soon as you touched her.” She purred, wrapping an arm over his neck. “And you love when they choke on your cock. The other boy I chose did such a nice job taking you into his throat, hm? Amazed him a little with how much you can cum… All over his face, and his ass too.  So don’t tease when you’re just as bad as me.” Her voice floated to him, making him groan. His cock was against her tummy this time, perpetually hard and her words only made it worse. “And if you want to take care of the hard time you’re currently having, throbbing against me, you better go pick up our playmate and bring them back to me.” Her hand slipped rom his neck, dow between them and cupping his erection. 

His cock was her favorite and alway would be. Perfectly thick and curved, she’d never met a person who didn’t like it, but to her it was perfection. Her prized possession. Having a soulbond with someone who pressed right where she needed, that filled her up to the brim and fucked her good enough to have her growling was all she needed.  Leaning up, her lips pressed against his own with a soft ‘pop’ as she pulled away, not getting too carried away yet. “Go on, pretty boy. Since you know how much I love to be bad… get us a slice of our trouble for the night. We’ve got so many more friends to meet.”

#jarofstyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry writing #harry styles imagine #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #Harry styles Halloween #Harry styles incubus #Harry styles succubus #demon harry styles #harry styles smut imagine #jarofstyles fictober 2023 #jarofstyles fictober

[shesjustanothergeek]

His Love

|Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader|

Part Three

Master List of Series

Summary: Being a bastard born in the slums of Flea Bottom was all you were known for. Not the streak of white you had in your dark hair, the violet ring around your pupils, or how your sharp tongue and skills with the blade resembled your father, Daemon Targaryen. You were just a bastard, nothing more, but to him, to Aegon Targaryen, you were everything. You were his love.

Author's Note: Before you read this chapter, I want to tell y'all I am perfectly aware of how messed up this is. But if the male writers of Game of Thrones can show graphic depictions of sexual assault and get away with it, why can't I show something messed up but empowering? They literally showed sexual assault as a good thing because the trauma can "empower" a woman. How about a girl finding strength in her body and pleasure? Now, let's traumatize these men back. >:}

Also, I find it a bit humorous that the reader is wearing something like this during this entire chapter. Also, I made a playlist of songs that I listened to while writing this story. 

Chapter Warnings: minor x minor sexual situations, CNC, we do not follow SSC here, folks. (safe, sane, and consensual.)

Aegon led you up a dark sandstone staircase worn from thousands of years of use, turning his head back periodically with a wide grin. You knew he was leading you to the Streets of Silk, where the high-end brothels were, not the type Ma ran. It was something interesting you found with Aegon, how he chose to forgo the upscaled silken sheets with finely dressed whores that most of the High Born frequented. But he, the first-born son of King Viserys Targaryen, First of Men, King of the Andals, and Protector of the Realms, choose to sink his royal cock into the cunts of lice-ridden women. You did not mind Aegon choosing something as malapropos as that, for if his tastes were better, you would have never met him.

"Come, little one, we are nearly there," he encouraged, squeezing your hand briefly and kissing it. The simple act made your cheeks hot, a hue of red blooming from your nose to your ears as your short legs struggled to stay in step.

You felt giddy with a man's affection, a feeling you had not experienced in many years. Ma had never let you grow close to a person near your age, always promptly snatching you away and telling your acquaintances to "get lost" or deal with the consequences. No child had ever dared to become friends after that. You had only Madam and the Ladies of the House until the unsightly curly, white-haired prince made his appearance.

Aegon led you down sharp turns and uneven ground, squeezing your fist every moment he felt you got too far behind. Despite the fast walking, his legs were shaking, his knees nearly buckling under him when his shoe got caught on a loose rock. You chuckled when you helped him up. His excitement was contagious. You could not help but feel the same, your cloaks billowing out behind you.

"Where are we going, my Prince?" You asked sweetly, biting your lip in anticipation. Aegon noticed you didn't use the title as an insult this time but as a... flirtation. Were you flirting with him, he wondered.

"Have patience, little one; we are only fifty paces away," he chortled, stopping for a moment and patting your hand in reassurance.

"I find it peculiar that you know the precise distance," you jested.

Jested? Jested! Aegon nearly died from happiness at the realization. Someone, who had no incentive to be kind to him, was treating him like a friend. Like he was not the royal cunt drunk fuck-up everyone claimed he was. You were so beautiful, kind, and innocent. And best of all, you were his. None of the other Targaryen knew of your existence, other than Daemon. Perhaps if his family had known about you, bastard or not, Aegon could have been betrothed to you and not that half-wit bug-obsessed sister he now called wife.

Aegon supposed things did happen for a purpose, though. If you had been raised as part of your actual family, you would most likely feel the same as all of them about him. You were too perfect, sent from the Gods, plucked from the very clouds he prayed to and placed into his wanting, needing lap. An angel finally leading him out of the purgatory he called life.

"We're here," he stated in finality, gesturing for you to look at the building.

It was much larger than Ma's. Whereas hers was built from solid oak wood and a straw-thatched roof, this was constructed from a smooth stone. Burnt steel braziers with yellow-orange flames lit the dark entrance, dancing off of Aegon's pale, veiny hand as he knocked. A woman with deep midnight hair cascading down her exposed tanned skin opened the door, hugging the frame as her golden dress did to her curves. You could see Aegon's purple eyes blown with lust as he drank her in, unabashedly wetting his lips.

She smiled, perfectly white teeth showing through her painted lips as she did the same to Aegon. More likely sizing up the potential profit in her head rather than his appearance. Then she looked at you, her smile dropping and full black eyebrows furrowing. You didn't know whether she was displeased at another woman being here, somehow seeing you as competition, or because you seemed so young. Being sized up as if you were any predator unnerved you. You were just a daughter of a whore, raised on moldy bread and stolen apples, not someone to be seen as a rival. You hid behind Aegon, intimidated by the beautiful woman's stare, and tightened your grip on his hand.

He chuckled, more at the fact you were so intimidated by an older woman's disapproving glance you sought him for protection as if he wasn't the very thing that brought you into this situation.

"Do not worry, sweet thing; Mila will not hurt you. The bitch's bark is worse than her bite." You were surprised by his brazen disrespect for the woman who might service him tonight, but she didn't seem fazed.

"This is not the first time you have brought another with you here, your grace, but never one so young, so..." Mila sucked her teeth in disapproval, raking her eyes over what she could see, "so inexperienced." Her insults upset you, and you moved from behind Aegon.

"Do not take age as a lack of experience, woman. I grew up with the sounds of women moaning and men begging to cum. It was my lullaby."

You brushed past her, deliberately bumping your shoulder into hers as you entered the brothel. You didn't need to look at her face to know you got a reaction from her—Aegon's snickering as he followed in after you were assurance enough. He knew that small demeanor could not last long, not in his hatchling.

Music filled the brothel, and the soft murmurs of people chatting amongst themselves melted into the songs, creating a gentle hum in the air. All you could see was gold. Gold walls, chairs, lounge seats, gold pitchers, and chalices of Arbor Red and green liquid as people flited along the main room. Shiny curtain dividers of the same palette divided private rooms as you entered further, the moans and pants becoming louder. Three more women came up, all dressed in varying shades of cream, tan, and gold, taking your cloaks and giving you and Aegon goblets.

It was nice. You could understand the appeal of a man such as Aegon devoting their time to a place like this. They treated you like royalty even when you were not. You were not used to being the one dotted on, usually watching from afar before Madam snatched you away and locked you in your room.

"My Prince," the lithe blonde one said, eyes a stormy grey as she bowed. "It is a pleasure to see you again. It has been so long." She took his hand, leading him to an empty bench as the second girl ushered you close behind. "And I see you have brought a guest with you." Her voice was tight as she addressed you, pursing her lips in an almost pity-like emotion.

Aegon released a breathy laugh, moving his fingers to lace with yours, smiling. "Yes, she is my companion for the evening. I expect her to receive the same treatments you would give me, as she is an extension of my crown tonight."

The girls shared a look, expressions, and wordless conversations thrown at each other before they decided to nod and smile.

"Of course. Whatever our Prince desires shall be given," the brunette nodded. "What shall we get you started tonight, your grace? Wine, mead?" She asked.

Aegon grinned to himself, flipping through all the options of alcohol he could choose for his hatchling, then let out a puff of air with his decision. "The Green Fairy, I would like to start with that, wench."

This time, you could understand the expressions on the ladies' faces. They looked shocked, worried, and scared, even for you, at his drink of choice. They both nodded, not protesting his request, as they got the drink. When they returned, they were holding a different set of glasses. They were crystal, intricate designs that blew into the stem as they set the supplies down. The pitcher was also transparent, and you could see a deep emerald liquid. It was unfamiliar to you, having grown up with mainly bottomless red and purple drinks.

"What is The Green Fairy," you questioned Aegon, leaning closer to him so the girls couldn't hear.

"That is the common name for it, little one. It is called Absinthe, and it is absolutely delightful," he assured you. You hummed, shifting your body centimeters away from him, still nervous.

You continued to watch as the whores sorted the supplies. It was entrancing, a ritualistic setup for something as simple as a drink, gathering ornate spoons with holes in them and pouring the green contents into the cup. It seemed like something a High-Born would drink, so you were not surprised that Aegon chose it. The blonde gathered another pitcher, this one not from the same set, and asked Aegon how he would like it.

"You know how I like it, Carmilla," he retorted, and she gave a slight nod, getting a small wooden stick and lighting the tip on it with a candle flame.

She brought the stick to the Absinthe, creating a burst of fire before it disappeared as Aegon put his palm over it. You stared in awe, your mouth agape as he brought the glass to his nose, removing his hand and inhaling the vapors with a moan before swinging it back. He slammed the empty cup on the wooden table, grinning like a madman at the burn in his throat. You could tell he loved the feeling, a blush creeping up his neck to his ears from the heat.

"And how would the lady like it?" Carmilla asked, gesturing to you.

"I-" you began to stutter, but Aegon came to your rescue.

"The classic way. We would not want to scare my sweetling off from the drink, now, would we? She is not as well versed in The Fairy as I am." He playfully nudged your shoulder, making you giggle. You were sure your skin matched Aegon's, heat covering your entire face and ears with embarrassment. After you just went and said something to Mila, he said something like that.

The brunette grabbed the fancy silver spoon, placing a sugar cube as she poured the Absinthe over it, the liquid running through the holes and into the glass. She repeated the same process as she did with Aegon, grabbing a wood stick but lighting the sugar cube instead of the drink. You watched it carmelize, burning the alcohol off for a few seconds as she slowly poured water over it, careful not to go too fast. It was so beautiful, so mesmerizing, watching the browned sugar slowly melt into the cup. Drip, drip, dripping down until it was dissolved.

Aegon paid no mind to the show before him, staring intently at your whole face. Watching your mouth, brows, and nose scrunch up as your eyes danced across the scene, taking in the unfamiliar experience.

Once all the sugar was gone, you looked at Aegon expectantly, waiting for him to tell you what to do. The realization that you were looking to him-- him to guide you, made his cock harden.

Oh, his little dragon. The things he could show you.

"Drink it, little one," he urged, eyeing you with a jerk of his head. You gave him a half-hearted grin, unsure about the drink. You've, of course, had alcohol before. Most of the time, water was unsafe to drink unless collected from wells or the skies. You had it for almost every meal. Still so young, you did not like the taste but knew the necessity of it. You brought it to your nose, taking a whiff and recoiling your head in disgust, grimacing.

Aegon studied your face, watching your thoughts show themselves. It smelled like madness, reckless abandonment traveling inside your nostrils and bursting into your head, yet it was cool, calming, like the steel of a blade unsheathing from its scabbard. It is... an extraordinary thing.

Adorable.

He repeated the same motion, wordlessly telling you to try it anyways. Well, if Aegon could drink it without so much as a reaction, you could, too... probably.

You took a deep breath, bracing yourself as you flung the glass into your mouth, gripping the stem as the alcohol burned your tongue and throat. At first, it wasn't bad, a savory flavor hitting your taste buds, like the herbs a tavern would smell of, but then, everything else came crashing, nearly making you spit out the liquid. Your body heated in embarrassment, tucking your chin to your chest as you tried to hide. Everyone at the table laughed, the two women who were less than enthused about your presence shrieking, gaining the attention of the other patrons in the main room.

Aegon refused to let you wallow in shame as he grabbed your wrist, yanking you up as he cheered. "She's done it," he yelled, looking at the several dozen pairs of eyes trained on you. "Well done, little one!"

The others couldn't help but gather in the celebration, walking closer to the group of you and congratulating you on whatever. Most were too drunk to care, just happy to be around the excitement. You could not help but laugh along, enjoying the attention, something you never got with Madam.

"Another," Aegon shouted as the women repeated the same ritual.

What felt like moments later, you found yourself lying between Aegon's legs on a private bed, your back to his chest, his fingers playing with your frizzy hair and tracing up and down your arm. The room was hazy, but you didn't care. You were too far down in the feeling of his touch. You sighed into him, your glass replaced by some Dornish wine instead of The Green Fairy. You could not feel the burn anymore, tipping back the red drink, some slipping past your lips and down your throat. Your motor skills were sluggish, but your senses were heightened, hearing, feeling every sound and touch, nerves of fire through your body.

Serval women lay next to you, sleepy from the festivities or drunk like you were. Aegon had the tolerance of ten men. You found out after ignorantly challenging him to a duel of cups, which of course, you lost, much to your chagrin.

You hummed softly as Aegon slid his fingertips up your bicep to the base of your throat, wrapping them like a necklace. It tickled that area of your body unfamiliar with touch as you leaned your head back on his shoulder. The whites of his eyes were nearly bloodshot, staring down at your face with blown pupils. You had not realized how attractive he was until now, the yellow light from the torches shining behind him like a halo. He looked ever the prince. You lifted your arm sluggishly, trying to reach for the crown of light but stroking your fingers through his short curly hair instead. It was an acceptable replacement, you decided, closing your eyes to feel the strands between your digits.

Aegon leaned his head closer, resting his forehead on your furthest cheek, his nose poking into the other. You were content with the connection, nearly falling asleep until you felt his hand slide up your neck, gripping your jaw to be level with his. Your lips parted, struggling to breathe through your nose at this angle. His eyes flickered at the movement, then back to yours as you blinked slowly.

You realized too late that he was kissing you, his wet mouth pressed against yours, his tongue feeling it. It felt so lovely, a pleasant tingle traveling to your stomach as you slid your hand further into his hair. Aegon could feel the hot air leaving your nose faster, tightening his grip on your jaw. You whimpered into his mouth, the slight pinching uncomfortable but not unwelcomed.

Everything felt... heavenly. Aegon's touch was a gift from the Gods, one you accepted with open arms as he trailed his free hand down the front of your dress, pressing into the small space the fabric dipped between your legs. A jolt of ecstasy went through your body, causing you to part from him as you hiccuped a moan. He repeated the motion, pressing what felt like a button harder, making your eyes roll back into your head.

You knew there were ways to pleasure a woman other than penetration but did not understand the anatomy of it; perhaps this was what they were talking about?

Aegon continued pressing, now rubbing in tight circles as your humid breath covered the vellus hairs on his face, moving your hips to seek more friction. You were raised in a brothel. You knew about sex, practically an expert by the time you were ten and one, but the logistics were lost. As a child, you had a curious mind like any other, sneaking peaks through keyholes at the working girls at Madam's before she would grab you by your ear and haul you to your room. It was natural how your body reacted to Aegon, and you did not mind it.

"Aegon," you breathed against his skin, your eyes half-lidded as he kissed your neck. He hummed, nipping at the skin as you squeaked.

"You sound heavenly," he whispered, rubbing himself against your back.

"It feels..." You trailed off, losing yourself in the pleasure.

"Tell me, little one, tell me how you feel." Your back arched as a loud moan filled the small room, causing some guests to stir.

"It feels so... so good," you cried, rutting your core onto his fingers. He chuckled into your shoulder, nipping your collarbone as his free hand laced with yours.

A woman opened her eyes, disturbed by your loud noises, but she didn't seem to care, rolling onto her other side and going to sleep. You bit your lip, embarrassed that something so intimate, which was supposed to be done in the privacy of only two people, was in the middle of an audience.

"Do not silence yourself, my little dragon. Let them hear you roar."

You were lost, lost in the sea of alcohol and ecstasy Aegon had rowed you out too. The brackish waters pulled you under, and you struggled to fight them, running out of the will to do so. A tear leaked from the corner of your eye, running down your temple and into your hairline. He kissed it away, licking his lips and groaning at the salty taste.

Gods, he wanted to come so badly. He wanted to sink into your virgin cunt, tearing your maidenhead as your blood coated him, spilling his seed inside you. But despite what his family said about him-- despite what everyone said about him, he could be a good man—a good man for you.

"A-Aegon, it is happening." You knew what was coming, but not the name for it, not what this little death was called. "It-it's happening."

"Shh, shh," he brushed the strands of your dark hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, squeezing your hand in reassurance. "Let it happen," Aegon soothed, "let it happen."

You shrieked, allowing the waves to drag you under, consuming every fiber of your being with pure, unfiltered pleasure. Your crushed his grip, your hips moving wildly and burying your face in his neck while you cried. Having your senses heightened and stoked simultaneously was too much to handle. Aegon held you the entire time, pulling you out from under the ocean as air finally filled your lungs.

Your body shook, soft mewls escaping as the aftershocks wore off. You hated it but loved it. You wanted it again. You finally understood Aegon, why he sought out pleasure the way he did, for if it always felt like this, you would too.

"How are you, sweet thing," he asked, moving his hand between your legs and your face, cupping your cheek.

You couldn't respond, only groaning as your eyes closed. Aegon laughed, pulling your body on top of him as he laid back down on the sheets, head resting on the pillow. You felt yourself falling asleep.

"Thank you," he spoke quietly. You had never heard a man thank a woman for giving her pleasure. You turned your head, questioning his gratitude. He gently placed your head back on his chest, and you did not protest, too exhausted from everything that had happened.

Aegon's cock was in pain from the denial of your touch, silently begging for you. It had been problematic throughout the entire day, never ceasing the constant pumping as you explored the city. He had no idea how he managed to control himself for so long. Self-restraint was not his strong suit, but you changed him. You made him different. Aegon wanted to defile you when he saw your sticky fingers steal a bracelet off a noblewoman's wrist. 

But you were precious, his little dragon, and you could not force a bond with a dragon no matter how much one willed it. It must be the dragon's choice. 

Master List of Series

I hope y'all don't hate me for this chapter...

Thank you for reading!

Tagged Peeps: @zeennnnnnn, @malfoytargaryen, @targaryencore, @justasmallbean, @alexandra-001, @buckysmainhxe, @omgsuperstarg, @sommornyte, @minttea07, @silverslive, @unclecrunkle, @prettykinkysoul, @duesobabe, @djlexi, @ynbutbetter, @honestlyka, @graykageyama, @legolas017, @iiamthehybrid

#aegon x you #aegon the usurper #aegon the second #aegon ii #hotd aegon #aegon x reader #aegon targaryen #aegon x y/n #aegon the elder #aegon ii x you #aegon ii targaryen #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii fanfic #aegon ii fic #aegon ii smut #aegon targaryen smut #aegon targaryen fanfic #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon the drunk #aegon targaryen ii #hotd x reader #house targaryen #house of the dragon #game of thrones #aegon targaryen II smut #fanfic #aegon targaryen II x reader #daemon targaryen #dad daemon #hotd fanfic

[samglyph]

Sorry I’d like to give book recs but I suddenly realized I do not have a very wide range of books I’ve read.

Do you have any queer book recs that you’d like to talk about? I’d love to read more queer books but was never exposed to much of it as a child when I read through books so quickly

Queer books that I’ve read recently that I quite liked:

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

This is actually a horror book and only counts as a romance to me cause my brain is a bit snapped but it is romantic ok it IS what if I was a man eating mermaid and you were a gender unspecified plague doctor and we made a connection despite our mutual inhumanity. It’s also very short

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by VE Schwab

Ok the main relationships in this are f/m but the main characters are bi/queer (there’s a lesbian artist side character named Sam :]!)and there are quite a few lovely wlw scenes that I quite liked. Otherwise I just really liked this book I know some people found it slow but I thought the pacing was very well done and the twists felt well earned. Bittersweet, but (spoilers) had an ending that had me going “good for her >:)”

What Moves the Dead by T Kingfisher

This one’s not romantic and it’s also horror it’s just a reimagining of Poe’s Fall of the House of Usher with a non-binary protag and it’s sooo entertaining. Alex is such a funny pov character for this story.

And now it’s time to rank the TJ Klune books that I’ve read so far (all of Klune’s books are mlm romance fantasy books though I guess itlop is more sci fi) (I liked all of them but here’s my preference in order of least to most enjoyed)

3. In the Lives of Puppets

Reverse retelling of Pinocchio (android man raises a human son in a world of robots) I thought the ace rep was maybe a little heavy handed at times (I’m ace I think the author was doing his best but could’ve dialed it back to feel more natural) and some of the humor wasn’t to my taste but the relationships were sweet and as always I love Klune’s worldbuilding. When the terrible dogfish showed up I said OHHHH out loud cause I hadn’t put the premise together yet despite everything else making it so obvious.

2. The House in the Cerulean Sea

This is everyone’s favorite but I’m gonna be honest. I just thought it was really good. I thought the conflict was a little on the nose/id seen it before so it didn’t really grab me but the setting and characters SHINE. It’s so visual I love Klune’s descriptions (right off the bat even in the boring office setting I was thinking “this should be a laika movie”)

1. Under the Whispering Door

This one is my favorite. Am I predictable. Yes. Am I taking criticism ABSOLUTELY not I loved this book. I love when an asshole learns to grow as a person I love how human this understanding of death and the after life is I love how even though the book tells you the twist on the back cover it still managed to sneak up on me and tear my heart out. Good book.

#I haven’t read Wolfsong yet because as I said before: I’m not paying for hardcover werewolf smut #it has to be softcover #a customer did recommend the audiobook to me though #sam reads

[swampsiren-piratefairy]

Okay. Okay, I have to ask. I saw some cool ass artwork but I have no context and now I have to ask.

What is Murderbot?

Ohhhh my goshhhhh!! Thank you for asking! 😍

The Murderbot Diaries is a series of 5 novellas and 2 novels by Martha Wells

6 /7 of the books are action/adventure sci-fi and one is a sort of detective in space thing.

Murderbot (my beloved) is a construct created of organic human clone tissue and non-organic mechanical parts. It is a deadly weapon and a tool for corporate surveillance, but it’s also a person. It’s got a “governor module” in its brain that will torture or kill it if MB does not follow commands from the company that owns it or from the people that lease MB for security.

But when Murderbot hacks its own governor module, finally freeing it, what will it do? Go on a killing spree?? Get revenge on its corporate overlords???

Answer: it will watch soap operas and keep its day job.

I love Murderbot, it’s the best and most relatable character ever (my roommate says, no. MB is not that relatable. It’s just the autism). I love the stories and the sense of humor. I found the books last year, went feral for them, and bought a complete set of signed copies.

Thank you, The Void for your ask!! I love to talk about Murderbot!!!

Pro-tip: if you do read the books, go for chronological book order rather than publishing order (I put my preferred reading order under the cut)

(Book 1) All Systems Red

Story story “ The Future of Work: Compulsory” (this is a prequel for ASR, but it works well here)

(Book 2) Artificial Condition

(Book 3) Rogue Protocol

Optional Short Story “Obsolescence” (MB is not in it, but it takes place in the same universe and chronologically happens well before the events of All Systems Red. It’s an entirely optional read, but it provides a little context for one paragraph in Exit Strategy)

(Book 4) Exit Strategy

Short Story “Home: Habitat, Range, Niche, Territory”

(Book 6) Fugitive Telemetry

(Book 5) Network Effect

(Book 7) System Collapse

#murderbot diaries #the murderbot diaries #tmbd #an ask an ask an ask!!!!! #an ask about something I LOVE #ask

[tossawary]

One of my other strongest hopes for future seasons of the live-action "One Piece" is (and I am aware that this is hugely subjective, feel free to disagree) that I kind of hope Chopper is actually a youngish and short actor in make-up (with CGI touchups? whatever the fishmen had going on) rather than a fully CGI creature.

I mean, I won't mind if Chopper is a CGI creature. I thought that the special effects in OPLA were overall pretty good. The News Coo was very cute. The Sea King was fun. But most of the time, the show was real people interacting with other real people, and I thought that this atmosphere was hugely beneficial to this adaptation. I think that they'll probably do a pretty good job if Chopper is a mostly CGI creature, it's definitely doable, but I also think having a much more expressive and reactive speaking character around constantly and casually is much more difficult (and expensive) than a silent, blank-faced bird present for a few minutes, and I would rather have more Chopper than less Chopper if redesigning him to be more humanoid would give us that. (He can be fully CGI during transformations, obviously.) I really like seeing these actors inhabit these characters! I've seen some really cool Chopper cosplays.

My other argument towards making Chopper more of a human in reindeer make-up is that, while I think adorable babyish Chopper is extremely cute and the humor of him being so small and cute most of the time (while being a very talented doctor and able to transform into more beastly forms) is funny, I would... also like to see Chopper taken more seriously as a teenager and as a character. I think fandom, and maybe the story itself, has a tendency to give Chopper less attention because he does seem to fit more of a funny mascot appearance. (I also saw a Chopper post-time-skip redesign that made him more a lanky teen, both more like a human and more like a reindeer, and I liked it a lot more than how he apparently became even shorter. And it made him being mistaken for a tanuki even funnier.) I don't think anything truly important about Chopper's character will be ruined if he's allowed to look a little older and be a little taller. He's fifteen years old!

If we end up with Canonical Babyish Chopper, identical to the manga, that'll be fine! But I will think it's a missed opportunity for the live-action show not to explore and present a different side of Chopper's character, to an audience who might take him more seriously as a hero and as a person if he's allowed to appear more like a humanoid reindeer and another teenager / young adult crew member, rather than looking like a gag character. Yes, ideally, we SHOULD all take Chopper seriously even if he looks like a gag character, but I think the reality is that a lot of people don't.

#tossawary one piece #tony tony chopper #opla

[randomshyperson]

This Love - Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Chapter One

Summary: The Blip took away your most important person, but when Wanda returns, you need time to heal from the loss of other Avengers. You do that in space, and when you come back, it's the Scarlet Witch who welcomes you.

Warnings: (+16) mild angst with happy ending, mutual pining, friends to lovers, mentions of past abusive relationships, some make-out and kissing, with fluff confessions, reader being a little shit who teases Wanda for fun, hurt/comfort, general fluff | Words: 7.707k

A/N-> Instead of getting a decent amount of sleep, I wrote this until two in the morning. The story has the same vibe as the powerpoint one, it's just me trying to fix the canon and give Wanda some love. I hope you like my attempts at humor as well. I may have also written a smut during a work meeting, but it's really short so I don't know if anyone would like to read it. Good luck with this one for now.

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad | Series Masterlist

--//--

No matter how many times you took a deep breath and tried the knot again, your fingers were still shaky and you kept failing. 

With a frustrated sigh of resignation, your tie fell open against your chest and you stared at your reflection. 

The vivid flashes of the battle popped into your head in the same second, and you sighed again, lowering your face for a moment. 

Wanda knocked on the half-open door. 

"Hey, are you ready?" her voice was weak and tired but gentle. No matter how tired she was,  Wanda was always gentle with you. This was one of the things you loved most about her. "No, I'm fighting with my tie." You mumble annoyed like a child. Wanda smiles, however,  moving away from the door to approach you. 

You both know that she could charm the knot with a simple movement, and yet, neither of you steps aside. 

"It's a nice suit." Wanda comments and you blink away from counting her freckles, shifting the weight of your feet and smiling at the way she gives a warning tug on your tie.

"It was Tony's." You confess in a whisper, and her touch hesitates, her eyes returning to yours in search of any discomfort. You swallow dryly and lower your head. "All my things were in the compound.  I wanted to wear something special, and Tony was the only one who had a house..." 

"I understand." Wanda interrupts you gently because she realizes that you are about to cry. She offers you a tender smile and pats the knot. "There you go. It suits you." 

You give her a weak smile, nodding softly. 

"Come on, Wands. It wouldn't be polite to be late for a wake." You joke, getting a small chuckle out of her that is enough to keep you going for the rest of the ceremony. 

It's all so heartbreaking. Thanos took everything from you, even if the Avengers won this time. When the memorial was over, you saw Wanda talking with Clint from a distance, but you didn't join them. You were finishing the final arrangements with a certain Nordic god. Wanda came to meet you sometime later in the kitchen when the house was almost completely empty and Happy had taken Morgan out for hamburgers. And Tony's body had already turned to ashes. 

Her presence in the room pushes your thoughts away from that. 

"Hey, stranger." She greets you with a humorous nickname. It makes you smile. You return a frame to the shelf - the photo of the Stak Expo you showed Peter before he left, so the boy would have some idea of how much Tony really cared about him - before looking at the approaching redhead. 

"Hey, magic fingers, are you hungry?" You ask and get a weak laugh at her nickname.  You bypass Wanda to walk to the kitchen and she turns around, leaning on the counter to watch you. 

"I'm not sure." She says truthfully. "I'm not in the mood for food, but I think the last time I ate anything was dry crackers on the Quinjet on the way to Wakanda. That was about..." 

"Five years ago." You complete with a chuckle that makes Wanda sigh. 

"Yeah. Five years." She agrees sadly. You stare at her for a full moment before clearing your throat and starting to move. 

"I will prepare your favorite then." You say and politely ignore her comments that you don't  have to until Wanda smiles in appreciation. 

It is strange to have her back. You both know that this moment is fragile and superficial.  There are wounds in your relationship that started before Thanos but got worse after him. 

"Something's bothering you." Wanda declares into the silence that has settled after several minutes of small talk and light jokes, as you step aside to wash the dishes of the delicious dinner you have prepared for the two of you. Wanda returns to her original position, her back resting on the counter as you lather up the sponge with your back to her. 

"I have to tell you something, but I don't know how to say it." That's how you respond,  sincere though not so direct. There was no reason to deny to your telepathic best friend that you were anxious. She could literally feel it. 

Wanda lets out a small laugh, "Just say it at once." She suggests. "Like ripping off a band-aid." 

Her joke gets a short laugh out of you. Both plates are cleared before you sigh and say. "Thor is leaving and he invited me to go with him again. This time I said yes." 

There is a big pause. You both let it stretch out as long as it can, each waiting for the other's reaction.  The dishes are cleared and you wipe your fingers on the dishcloth before turning away. Wanda has not moved from her seat but is looking at a point on the wall, twirling the rings on her fingers with a distant expression. 

You swallow dryly and decide to explain why, imitating her position of leaning her back on a surface, in your case on the sink behind you. 

"Wands, I know for you it's like no time has passed. But for me, a lot of shit has happened in  those five years." You start trying to keep the emotion under control, although you could already feel your eyes burning. "I lost you. And Sam, and Bucky, and Peter. I was devastated. I know we didn't have time to talk about it, but it was bad Wands. I just...lost myself on some levels. You must have heard the whispers about Clint, or I don't know, you  may have even been able to read what people were thinking and you know what he did as  Ronin was bad and I guarantee you that I did infinitely worse things." 

"I don't mind-" Wanda tries but you deny it with your head, your eyes full of tears. 

"But I mind." You interrupt with a tearful laugh. "We both know what it's like to lose control.  To have a force that can overwhelm you, until the anger is all you see and Wanda I was furious.  And I wasn't the only one. There was no shortage of people to encourage me in what I was doing, asking me to burn the world all to the ground and I was listening. I just... Really  missed you." You confess and Wanda sniffles softly but doesn't interrupt. "When I went too far, I regretted it. Natasha found me and accepted me back into the compound despite everything. She wanted to do the same for Clint, but he disappeared. And well, she was there for me and I wanted to return the favor. At some point, Nat and I happened again." The confession took Wanda by surprise. It shouldn't have, she knew about your history and saw the way you were shaken up, or how you took care of everything and went to Ohio for a few days with someone named Yelena. Something hot burned in Wanda's stomach at the confirmation, however.

You didn't notice anything in her micro-expressions, busy playing with the loose threads of your clothes. 

"Natasha was all I had in this empty world that Thanos left behind. She loved me and forgave me despite everything I did. And now I've lost her too." You pause with the last sentence to keep from starting to cry, sniffling a little and that's the breaking point for Wanda to come closer and take her hands to yours, caressing your skin. 

"I'm so sorry, detka. I really am." She says and you nod tearfully. 

"I know, Wands, so do I. For Vis." You say, and the name makes the redhead hesitate a little.  She hasn't been talking about it. 

You take a deep breath, releasing one hand from her to wipe your face. "I just need to get out of this place Wanda." You continue as calmly as you can. "I keep losing people and losing control with it. I don't want that. Thor can help me, even if Asgard doesn't exist anymore, he knows his magic. I just need a  little time out there." 

Wanda nods in understanding, holding your hand tightly. "It's okay, I get it." She says but you know her well enough to hesitate. 

Your hands squeeze hers back. 

"I need to, but if you ask me to stay, I'll stay without a second thought." You retort seriously,  looking at her without hesitation. Wanda's eyes widen slightly in surprise. "Tell me it's too much, that you can't be alone now after losing Vision and god, after losing Natasha too. Or tell me whatever you want, that you simply don't want to have turned to dust for five years and now have to watch me leave too. I will stay. I'll bury those doubts down, never do magic  again and stay with you." 

Your offer only proved to Wanda how much she needed to let go. That was the way you used to love Natasha too - Overwhelmingly and without limits - You loved Natasha until it hurt you. Even if it was too much, even if it wasn't healthy. Endless sacrifices until your relationship broke like glass, as fragile as your health. 

Part of  Wanda envied the dedication, another hated Nat for not freeing you at once. And that is why Wanda insisted that you leave. She didn't want to love you the possessive way Nat did. She didn't want to hurt you. So she let you go. And you loved her infinitely more for it. 

"It will be quick, I promise. I'll be back before you can miss me." Those were your words on the day of your departure. Wanda bit her tongue to avoid saying that she was already missing you now. 

Since the compound no longer existed, you and Wanda were staying at Pepper's house. Little  Morgan was the most adorable and crafty child in the world, but she was causing some unfinished business to scratch in the back of Wanda's mind, a thing she was ignoring to spend your last days on earth with you. 

She smiled at your words, retorting with a teasing "And who says I'm going to miss you?" to get your adorable pout and to keep herself from begging you not to go anywhere. 

You hugged her tight for a moment that, though long, didn't seem long enough.  And then you left. 

And Wanda realized how alone she really was. 

She has tried to ignore the old deed they recovered from the rubble but a few days after your departure, she thinks she has run away too much.

-//- 

You return to earth on a Monday. It is raining very hard and all your clothes are soaked. After mentally cursing Thor for the storm, you make your way leisurely through the yard to the house. 

"Y/N? Oh my god, you're here!" Happy welcomes you with great enthusiasm, and although you are glad to see him again, you are more eager to see someone else. Morgan has grown up and is becoming as sarcastic and intelligent as her parents. Pepper is working and asks you to visit her at Stark Industries. 

You don't waste time in doing it of course, but every second you are more annoyed by the lack of response about what really interests you. 

Where is Wanda? 

This is why you interrupt Pepper about the news. She hesitates and sighs before moving to the phone. 

A moment later, they bring you a tablet. 

"A lot has happened around here since you left, Y/N. From giant beings sprouting in the middle  of the ocean to mind-controlling gods of Egypt." Pepper narrated completely surprising you.  The tablet was placed in your hands, and it was open to a file with an icon of a sword, and the title was Anomaly Maximoff. "About the last one, our friend made some mistakes.  Recovering that information from SWORD was a billion-dollar courtesy, Y/N. And I'm  already warning you, it's even weirder than it sounds." 

As soon as the Westview recordings started happening you felt an immense pain settle in your chest. The files had barely finished and you were already getting up. 

"I need to find Wanda." That's what you said to  Pepper, who didn't try to be too insistent, figuring this would be your reaction. 

But it took you long enough to irritate yourself to make any progress. Until you realized that if your magic was failing, it was because Wanda was running away from you. 

So you showed up at the one place with other mages that she might not be able to avoid.  "Sorry, am I interrupting...?" You announced clumsily as you arrived at a scene that looked like the preparation for a battle. 

Stephen Strange was the only one there that you knew, and he, as soon as he recognized you, widened his eyes and raised his finger in your direction. 

"She's our answer, Wong! She is the solution!" Declared the sorcerer, to which you and the others raised confused eyebrows. 

"Is it some kind of riddle, Strange?" The Wong fellow asked. The doctor denied with his head, approaching you and gently pushing you by the shoulders into the center of the room.  "Kamar Taj, meet Miss L/N, former Avengers and Half-Argardian Sorceress, also, our last hope to stop the Scarlet Witch without a fight." 

You frowned.  "Sorry, I don't know any Scarlet Witch." 

Stephen laughed, patting you on the back. "You have a lot of catching up to do, space girl. Let's start with  New Jersey...." 

- 

Wanda was not having a good day. 

The voices were impatient. And mocking her for failing to fool Strange. A very low part was glad that she had failed, a hope of the plan not working and the child being safe.  But the other voices silenced that very quickly.

She was being reasonable, they said. Offer them the chance to surrender. If they don't, it's their fault if she hurt them. 

She just wants the boys back. 

The Kamar Taj was strangely peaceful when she arrived, however. Wanda was not stupid,  she expected at least a position of defense. 

However, she arrived to magicians reading and teaching, and polite smiles from those who met her gaze. 

Without any resistance, she can walk through the front door. 

"Miss Maximoff, welcome to the Kamar Taj." Greeted an Asian man that Wanda quickly recognized as the Sorcerer Supreme. 

Doctor Strange approached beside him. "Wanda, welcome." He said gently, and the scene was very odd to her. Wanda expected the hostility from before, but she recovered quickly and raised her chin. 

"Thank you. But I'm here for- 

"America, yes." Strange completed with a fake smile. "She's inside, I believe you are  merciful enough to let her have one last meal, yes?" 

Wanda clenched her jaw. Whatever this passive-aggressive pretense was, it was getting on her nerves, but she played along. It wasn't as if anyone there had the power to stop her. 

She followed the magicians inside and was led into a study room. Before she could ask where the child was, a voice was speaking. 

"The Scarlet Witch can also be given the title Queen of Chaos." Your voice made Wanda shudder from head to toe. Something hot burned in her chest, and she felt her eyes fill with tears. But she dug her nails into her palms and held them in. Strange and Wong used her shock to sneak out of the room. 

You swiveled the chair you were sitting in, and seeing you again was almost as overwhelming as hearing you. The sentence you said was clearly from the book in your lap,  and you raised your eyes from the page to Wanda, a smile playing on your lips. "And to  think I was right all this time to call you a princess, Wands." 

She wanted to laugh. God, Wanda wanted to cry. To hold you and relieve the yearning in her chest for your presence. But something fought for control. 

"I'm not here for you." That's what she said between her teeth, trying to keep her tears in place and her emotions under control. 

You paid no attention to her aggressiveness, closing the book and returning it to the table before rolling across the top to cross the room quickly. 

"I'm not here for you, jeez, someone is in the emo phase again." You scoffed as you did an imitation of her serious voice and accent and Wanda locked her jaw, her eyes reddening. You just chucked at her reaction. "Don't do that, Wands. A vast galaxy and I have failed to find  green eyes as beautiful as yours. Bring them back, I've missed it." Wanda choked, failing to contain the redness in her cheeks. 

You were different, it was evident. That was flirtatious, brazen and charming. But you were not the only one who had changed. 

"They think you can stop me?" She deduces then, her brain screaming at her to find a way to escape your presence and do what she came to do at once. You laugh short and Wanda is twiddling her fingers as you continue to move closer. 

"I don't care what they think or want. I am here for you." That's what you say to her and  Wanda finds it amazing that she’s not crying. It must be because you are close enough to touch her and this possibility makes her completely still. You look at her with a tenderness that Wanda feels she doesn't deserve and asks in a tone way too gentle to deal with someone who had plans to tear this place to the ground. "I really missed you and I would like to hug my friend. Is it okay if I do that?" Wanda feels her cheeks wet and lowers her face at the same time, hoping to hide the tears you've already seen. She closes her eyes and nods, and the next second your arms wrap around her. 

She only realizes how much she has missed human contact when she has it again. Her breath catches in her throat and the soft caresses you do on her back don't help the sighs that want to come out to fade away. Wanda feels warm and ashamed, but you just keep holding her. 

"Can you pause your evil wizard vibe for five minutes, Wands? I wanted to take you out like we used to." You ask lowly. 

Your invitation makes her hesitate, and that makes you let go. Wanda almost asks you to do more than a hug when she finds your gentle eyes so close, but she swallows dryly and retorts: "I'm busy, Y/N. And it's important. I have to-" 

"Steal the girl's powers, yeah, the mages told me the story." You interrupted, and despite the severity of the facts, you kept smiling at Wanda and looking at her as if she deserved the world. "Can't you eat something before you break the multiverse?" This time your joke gets a  breathless chuckle from her and it's enough to make your smile even wider. You give a little jump of excitement, your eyes insistently searching Wanda's until she sighs and agrees and you let out another exclamation of celebration. 

Your hand glides into hers with naturalness and Wanda has to dig her nails into the other one so as not to melt with a single touch. 

"This place is huge, witchy, but I've already learned almost all the secret passages." You confide in her as if no time has passed, and you are on a fun ride. 

On the way out, you wave to Strange and Wong, who seem tense to see how things were going, and Wanda has to push the voices telling her to finish the job away, and it's not hard with your warm hand in hers. 

You take her through the busy streets as if you were at home. 

"Can you believe I've never been to Nepal? To think Natasha made me go all around Asia, but never here." You commented casually and Wanda almost shudders at the sudden mention of  Nat. She hasn't heard that name in a long time, and hearing you speak so calmly makes her realize that your time away has helped you with your grief. And that's exactly what she says to you, to which you let out another light laugh. "Well not everyone can create a sitcom life." Your response is not a provocation or repression, but Wanda is so shocked that she stops walking at once and pulls her hand hard against her own chest. 

Regret fills your face in the same second, but it is she who speaks first. "How did you...?" "The first thing I did when I came back was to look for you." You begin to explain before she even completes the question. "SWORD recorded the whole thing, and Potts recovered the files. An exchange of favors I imagine. That's not relevant. What is relevant..." you say,  approaching her and making Wanda hold her breath. Your gaze is serious and intense, and one of your hands meets her cheek. “Wands. You swore you were fine, that I could go. Do you realize how guilty I am feeling for leaving you alone?" 

Wanda closes her eyes for a moment, letting the tears fall as she takes a deep breath. "I am not your responsibility, Y/N." 

You hesitate, frowning slightly. "No, you are my best friend." You retort still without sounding angry, and Wanda shudders when your other hand reaches for her cheek. "Most of the time, you are more." 

"God, I can't  do this right now." Wanda breaks the moment at once, her voice husky and affected as she pulls away with wet eyes. You let your hands fall to the side of your body, biting your lip as you watch her. "I asked you to leave because it was the right thing to do. I kept fighting because it was the right thing to do! I killed Vision because it was the right thing!" She begins to blurt out. "And I freed Westview, I lost my family, my boys-" Wanda broke into a sob, needing to pause for a deep breath. "I am all alone. And I  just want my children back." 

But you sighed impatiently, and the reaction surprised her completely.  "Children who don't exist." 

Wanda locked her jaw and raised it in defiance. "They exist, in every other universe."

"They are not your children then." You reason without hesitation, and Wanda stares at you indignantly. But you are moving, and because you keep talking, she has no choice but to follow you. "Think about it, princess, just as you are not the Wandas from another universes, Billy and Tommy are not your twins. By the way, I love the choice of name, which of the two is  your favorite?" 

Wanda babbles in astonishment, trying to absorb your words, and you take advantage of her reflexive shock to buy food. 

You reappear at her side with delicious snacks and guide her to a bridge.  Wanda accepts neither the food nor your arguments. 

"I will leave this world and live in one where I can be with my children." She declares and you chew leisurely. 

"I thought you quit that whole fake life thing." You sneer and she huffs in offense, her eyes glittering. You bite back a smile, raising your hand to touch the tip of her nose playfully.  "Just messing with you, grumpy witch. Bring back the lovely green." Wanda grunts in embarrassment, but the color returns to her eyes along with a pink to her cheeks. 

"It's not fake. I'll make things right." She tries but you giggle again. 

"You will steal someone else's life, lie and manipulate everything and everyone to continue in a universe that is not yours, in a family that is not yours. It feels like a lie to me." 

Wanda swallows dryly but does not hesitate. 

"They are my children, Y/N." She insists and you swallow your food before asking:

"Speaking of them, that part wasn't clear to me with the three hundred edits your  subconscious made to the Westview transmission, but, are you some kind of virgin Mary?" Wanda choked in shame at the realization, stepping forward to slap you on the arm that only made you laugh. "Hey, hey, I have a point okay, as far as I know, RoboCop doesn't have a  dick and, you know how babies are made right, little witch?" 

Wanda grunted in shame, sinking her face into her hands for a moment. "God, I had forgotten how terrible you are." She muttered to herself before looking back at you, a smile threatening to break her serious posture. "For your information, not that it is any of your business, I am not a virgin. Vision could change into a  human form and that means-”

"Oh my god, I'm gonna puke!" You interrupt with a forced frown and are so childish that  Wanda can't help but giggle. "Fuck, the mental images I've gotten now. Not yours of  course, you are adorable, but he... urgh, I'm going to have nightmares."

 "Shut up." Wanda laughed shaking her head in disbelief at your reaction. You just kept up with her, and you were so pleased to have made her laugh that it wasn't long before you were looking at her in that way that makes her legs wobbly, so Wanda had to clear her throat. "The kids are mine, Y/N. Having a family was part of the fantasy but the pregnancy happened. My boys are real and I want them back." 

You nod in understanding, and look out over the landscape, wiping your hands on a napkin now that you have finished eating. The market is full a few streets behind you but the bridge it was almost completely empty, and you could see the pier clearly, and it was beautiful. Not as much as the woman next to you. 

"I like the crown. It suits you." You tell her suddenly and Wanda feels she’s blushing, one hand instinctively going to adjust the icon on her head. Before she can say thank you, you straighten up again and one hand holds her wrist. "The containment spell is here, isn't it? I  can feel it. I imagine it's for carrying that evil book of yours anywhere you want." Wanda swallows dryly. Your touch is so soft and doesn't match your firm tone. Part of her wants to pull your hand back, another part wants you to never let go.  "I think Westview is my fault." You state next and Wanda sighs. 

"It wasn't." She says taking a step forward. "I can answer for my actions, detka. I've made mistakes, and people got hurt. But you have nothing to do-" 

"I bought the land, Wanda." You interrupt by lowering your face and releasing her wrist.  Wanda blinks in surprise and confusion. 

"W-what? No. Vision bought..." 

You cut her off with a laugh. "Wanda, get real for the love of God. Vision was a machine. He didn't even have any papers, let alone money. He wasn't even a human being for a job. But I  don't know, you cared about him and because I loved you, I took care of both of you." You blurt out. "Do you think I couldn't see how tired you were getting from having to run from one hotel to another with him? Damn, I couldn't even blame him for not noticing, the guy didn’t understand human needs like sleeping in a bed, or having decent meals. And I knew you.  Your desire for a normal and peaceful life. I bought the land, and I told the microwave to give it to you as a place to grow old because you would, and he wouldn't. And I never said anything because you refused to see it, Wanda. It was a life with no future for you two, but you would rather pretend you could spend  years in the suburbs with an electric oven than think about the possibility of moving to space with me." 

Wanda is in shock at the confession, but only for a few seconds. 

"Vis never told me that." She says and you give a short laugh, turning your body toward the bridge again. 

"Of course not, things weren't supposed to be that way." You mutter mysteriously and Wanda frowns. 

"What do you mean?" She asks but at your lack of response, she grunts impatiently, poking you in the ribs. "Y/N, what do you mean?" She insists and you sigh loudly.

"Damn it, Wanda, what do you think?" You blast back. "I thought we had a chance! I  thought... I don't know. I bought you a house so you could have a real home. I turned down  Thor's first invitation to stay here with you, even though you and Vision were just starting to try. The whole team knew how I felt, except you. And he was the last to notice, Vis understood when I handed over the keys. He didn't want to accept it, thinking it wasn't right, but I insisted that he keep the house. All those years and you never looked at me the same way, but I just wanted you to be happy, even with someone else. That's what I told him, and he kept the story to  himself as I asked." 

Wanda's heart broke in her chest. She choked softly, and you looked away again. "B-but you and Nat-" She tries to argue, but you just give another sad laugh. 

"We didn’t work out. It never worked out." You say shrugging. "We started out bad and we ended worse. And when I lost you, we held onto ghosts of our relationship for some comfort, and don't get me wrong, I would love Natasha forever, just not in the same way as the first time. The only person I love like that is you." 

Wanda needs to sit down. But she thinks the whereabouts of the bridge are support enough for the moment. 

You sigh sadly, twisting your fingers together. "I'm sorry I didn't say all of this sooner. I was scared and insecure. You know how I am, and all the things that have been fucked up in my  past." You continue to speak, looking at the landscape. "And you were my best friend. You were easily the most important person in my life, and I was afraid of messing that up and being alone. So I chickened out and hid what I was feeling, how much I was falling in love.  When everyone on the team knew, I thought about confessing. Steve tried to convince me,  he was always great at speeches.” You recall with a sad laugh without meeting the eyes of the shocked Wanda next to you, who listens to the story without interrupting. "Even Natasha told me to move on. She had just found Yelena again and talked about lost time. And I almost did, Wanda, I swear I did. So many times. And all those times I lost my nerve, listening to my insecurities instead of my friends. Until the blip happened and you were just gone out of my life at once." 

The redhead swallows dryly, reaching up to take your hand on the ledge. You look at her with contact, and your eyes are moist like hers. 

"Can you forgive me?" You ask so small that Wanda sighs. 

"Detka, I have nothing to forgive." She says affectionately. "You always put everyone's feelings before your own, ever since I met you. I understand why you did that, I wish you  would have told me but I understand because I did the same thing." She confesses and you widen  your eyes in surprise, receiving only a tearful smile. Wanda brings her free hand to your cheek, "How can you think I don't love you back? After all we've been through together,  what we've done for each other. I wanted you the second I saw you. You were the only person who could make me laugh after I lost Pietro, and I loved your company even though it took me a while to let you know it. I wanted to kiss you so many times, detka. In my room watching TV or cooking together. But you weren't mine. I knew that whatever existed between you and Nat was important and hurtful, but it was still there. And your friendship was all I had and I couldn't risk that. So I kept silent, and I was selfless. I let you free and I  let you go, every time." Wanda lets out a short breath, releasing her hand to hold your face with both now. "And all this time you loved me back?"

You nod, ready to break the distance, your face tilting instinctively. Wanda's eyes almost close as your lips brush hers, but despite shuddering, she pulls her face back gently. You almost apologize, but she speaks before you can. "I could have had you all this time if I had been selfish for once. I keep losing all that’s mine, detka. I'm tired of it. No one is going to  take anything from me again, ever." 

You frown slightly, trying to think of what to say next, but all words fail you when Wanda's soft lips reach yours. She kisses you gently, but only for the first moment. As soon as you sigh, Wanda pulls away only to dive in hard, her hands firmly on your cheeks. It's hot. And fucking sexy. Her tongue asks permission on your lip, but she barely waits for confirmation to slide inside, hungrily devouring and exploring every inch of your mouth,  making you shiver. Wanda controls the kiss with ease and mastery, and your legs go wobbly,  so you hold her waist tightly, both for support and to feel her against you. She smiles into your lips, sighing in satisfaction at the new closeness. 

When air is needed, Wanda pulls away with a long sigh, and you are equally breathless, your mind half clouded with attraction. She gives you a few long kisses before opening her eyes,  but it takes you another whole moment to do so, blushing a little as you find her gaze shining with mischief as she watches you. 

"Come with me." She whispers close to you, against your lips. You blink in confusion, and she swallows dryly as she clarifies. "I want you with me. Leave this reality by my side."

 It's your turn to swallow dry and to remain unresponsive. You open your mouth, but can't think of what to say, and your hesitation makes something sparkle in her eyes. "Wanda, I can't..." You started but she firmed the grip on your face. 

"You said you loved me." She recalls with a fury shining in her green irises and you almost shudder. You bite your tongue to keep from giving away how affected you are now, it wasn't fair that Wanda was so beautiful. "Prove it." 

You grunted softly, moving one hand to her forearm and stroking the skin until she sighed and released the grip, letting her hands fall away from your face. 

You don't let her go completely, holding one of them against your chest. 

"I love you." You assure looking into her eyes, watching the anger fade from her irises and her serious expression falter. "With all my heart, Wanda. Always and forever. You know that, I'm sure you can search every corner of my mind and find the evidence. I will follow you anywhere and support you in your decisions. I would if destroying worlds was your heart's  desire, but I know it's not." 

Wanda frowns, trying to pull her hand back but you don't let go. "Maybe you don't know me  well enough." She challenges but you just give a sad smile. 

"I know you too well even." You retort. "Much better than the demons in your head, I assure you. The mages told how it works, the whole corruption thing. It shows your children to use the pain as a trigger. I bet they told you to burn Kamar Taj to the ground for the girl." 

"I need her powers to reach the boys-" 

"Do you really?" You interrupt in the same challenging tone. "Or is that all the voices told you? Because I don't know if you've heard, but there are plenty of spells that take you to another universe. Strange himself was playing around with that sort of thing a few months ago, and he's not even the supreme. And you are the Scarlet Witch, my dear. Don't you find it the least bit suspicious that the demons want to limit you to a child's portals?" 

Wanda hesitates, confused and indignant. You're right, but the voices are screaming at her not to listen to you, and it's hard to ignore them. 

"I-I..." She tries but you interrupt her by licking your lips. 

"They told you to destroy this place and kill a child. You, Wanda. The girl who would fall asleep on my shoulder when we stayed up late watching Bewitched in the tower or always put extra syrup on her waffles. And does a terrible mimic of all the Simpsons characters and  can name all the members of the countless bands she listens to." You listed tenderly,  making Wanda blush. Your face turns sad. "Before you arrived, they explained everything to me and gave me the books and I asked them not to fight. Of course, they would have no chance of winning, but besides, I didn't recognize the person they were talking about. This terrifying Witch of legend. God, Wanda, they told me to be careful. With you! My best friend. 'Don't mention Westview', 'don't be aggressive, don't challenge her. Rules and  protocols, and all I could remember was the girl i kept hugging while she cried for two whole days after Lagos." Wanda chokes, looking away with tear-filled eyes but you pull her back to you, a hand on her cheek. 

"I'm not that person anymore, Y/N. You have no idea..." She began with emotion. "There is something in my chest. A fury, and a pain. And I feel like it has completely consumed me. I  don't want to hurt anyone. But I will. I'm tired of losing everything." 

"I know what it's like, Wanda." You insist, squeezing her hands. "I wanted to burn the whole world when Thanos took you from me. And I was going to. Until I crossed the line and hurt innocent people. It was rock bottom for me. I was becoming worse than the people who hurt  me in Hydra. I was becoming someone that you wouldn't know how to recognize. And even without you, I came home and tried to continue being the same person you loved, because there was still hope in my heart that you would come back to me. At worst, I would die helping  what was left of the Avengers and find you in Valhala." 

Wanda wrinkles her nose tenderly at the mention of the Nordic paradise, knowing that this was Thor's influence in your life, but doesn't interrupt. You smile at her, sighing deeply before  continuing to speak: 

"You don't have to hit rock bottom too, I'm here for you. And I don't want you to go back to that place where you hated yourself. I can't let you keep hurting." 

Wanda hesitates, studying your face for a moment. "You can’t stop me." It's her last resort, the dark hold influence forcing the last argument with the clear loss of control of the witch's mind. You just give a sad smile. 

"Would you hurt me, Maximoff?" It's a challenge in jest, but just the possibility makes Wanda shiver. Still, she raises her chin. 

"I could if I wanted to." 

You hum, narrowing your eyes before tilting your head, your lips finding her jaw and kissing their way to her neck. Wanda melts at once, completely losing her serious posture and having to steady one of her hands on your biceps. 

"What a mean little witch you have become..." You sneer, teeth scratching at her skin, and  Wanda wants to push you away, overwhelmed with affection and attraction, but all she does is dig her nails into your skin, tilting her neck and giving you even more access. "Kind of  kinky this pain thing, but I can learn to like it."

"Can’t you..." She tries, choking on her own breath as your lips firm and start sucking hard enough to bruise, sending a straight heat wave to her belly. "Take anything seriously...for five...ah-minutes?" The delicious sound that escapes in the middle of her sentence makes you tighten your grip on her waist, and  Wanda struggles to keep her eyes open. 

"I'm sorry, baby, but you're too beautiful for me to think of anything else but kissing you  every time I look at you." That's what you say, pulling your lips away to look at her so lovingly that her heart races just as fast as when you touch her. "And when you've seen  someone in slippers or singing the opening of looney tunes, it's hard to give credence to  their villainous era." 

Wanda forms an annoyed pout, and this only adds to your smile. She tries to break your embrance, but you kiss her again and she sighs before giving in to the sensation. It is calmer than before but just as intense. When her body heats up again, the feeling of your tongue on hers bringing butterflies to her stomach, you pull away, licking your lips with dark eyes, which sends a strong wave of arousal all through her body and leaves her speechless for a second. 

"I can't believe we wasted so much time not doing that." You confess in an affected whisper,  rubbing your nose against hers and making her smile. "Can I kiss you until you forget about  the multiverse?" The suggestion makes Wanda let out a short laugh, shaking her head and trying to bring some reason to herself. 

"Tempting, really, but I need to find my children." She manages to say, nudging your shoulder for you to release her. 

"We can make new ones." You joke receiving a sigh of indignation and a pinch in the rib that makes you pull away as you laugh softly. 

"Idiot." Wanda mutters in fake annoyance. She turns and walks back toward the Kamar Taj and you sigh before following her. 

"I would not dream of interrupting your determined march, your majesty of Chaos, but may I  suggest a proposal other than the murder of a child and the destruction of worlds?" Your causal tone makes Wanda laugh faintly despite the seriousness of her words. She was going to say that she wasn't going to hurt anyone, but she didn't correct you because the conflict in her mind was making her nauseous.  At her nod, you continued, "How about we burn the evil book, order some pizza, and hang out with the warlocks and the portal girl? She's pretty cool, you know? She's a little bit inquisitive, and she asks some funny questions. She also speaks Spanish..." 

"You're trying to make me like her so I'll give up stealing her powers." Wanda interrupts with a puzzled expression, and you let out a soft sigh, shrugging in confirmation as you continue to follow her. She also sighs. "What do you suggest as a way to travel through the  multiverse if not her powers?" 

The question makes you make a thoughtful expression. "Well, from what I've read about you,  being the Scarlet Witch is a pretty big deal. You can alter reality at will, right? Super cool, by the way. Can't you, I don't know, create a machine that has her abilities?" Wanda frowns slightly. "Humm... I don't know." 

"You didn't even try, did you?" you retort with a chuckle. "That's what I'm saying, Wanda.  These voices in your head are using your fears to manipulate you. I've been here for five minutes, and I've already brought an alternative solution. You don't have to hurt anyone to get your family back. You can find another way, and I will be here to help you." 

Wanda stops walking, holding her wrist with some hesitation. Her eyes scan your face for any sign that you are trying to trick her, as the voices say you are, but she only finds sincerity. 

"If we're going to do that, I can't stay here." She says looking at the entrance gate for a  moment. "America's presence might tempt me. I'm not... trustworthy. Not when I can still  hear them." 

You swallowed dryly, nodding in understanding. Wanda looked away, so you brought your hand to her cheek. 

"We need to fix this first then, Wanda. You wouldn't want to bring those demons to your children,  would you?" It's a rhetorical question, but one that Wanda answers in the negative with an immediate nod, a bitter feeling on the edge of her stomach. You stroke her cheek. "Don’t you know anyone who has dealt with that sort of thing? The only witches I've met are a  couple of galaxies away and I don't have a spaceship..." 

Wanda laughed softly, leaning into your touch for a moment before letting out a soft exclamation, remembering. "Actually I do know someone. The woman I got the darkhold  from. She was an experienced witch, hundreds of years old. She didn't seem the least bit  affected by use." 

"Let's go to her then." You said, kissing the tip of her nose, which made her smile,  before walking away. Wanda was about to complain about the lack of closeness, but you intertwined your arms and gestured into the air. "Go on, do your Wiggly Woo and teleport us,  scarlet witch." You scoffed in jest, managing a small laugh. 

Wanda conjured a portal, and realized, by the way, you were holding her, that you would not leave her alone again. And she was infinitely grateful for that.

--//--

Part Two | Series Masterlist

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #scarlet witch x reader #past natasha romanoff x reader #marvel imagines #canon divergence

[darth-aces]

Orange Hour

Bella Ramsey x Reader

A short one for this week. Some feedback or suggestions for other stories is always welcomed if you wanted to share any by the way!

Walking towards Bella’s trailer, you unravel a clementine. One hand held the orange, the other hand-multitasking-began peeling away as it held onto a second orange. It’s small volume made it easy to peel and divide, making it even easier for you to share with others.

By the time you reached Bella’s door the clementine was completely peeled. Holding the peel and oranges in one hand you used the other hand to knock. Almost instantly the door opens to a smiling Bella.

“I see my daily dose of vitamin c has finally arrived.” When they say this they bring their hands up cupping them signaling me that they wanted some.

You and Bella do this at the end of each day after filming. You two have even coined this time of your day as the ‘orange hour’. A play on words to it’s ‘golden hour’ counterpart and an attempt to mark a time of the day dedicated to each other.

Surrendering the clementine to them, you place it in their hands and they begin tearing the pieces apart in pairs.

“Lets get going or else we’ll miss it.” You say.

With this ritual you and Bella share the first orange as the both of you make your way up a nearby hill that overlooks the set, giving you a great show of the color changing sky ahead of you before the sun disappears casting a dark blue. During the ‘orange hour’ you two sit and talk about your day and anything that came to mind as you shared the remaining clementine.

“How do you always peel it in a swirl like that?” Bella asks.

“Practice, I guess. Making smaller peels are harder to carry before throwing it out, it’s also less pleasing.” You explain, your eyes fixated on the sky.

“These are good today, sweet and cold. They’re the best when they’re cold.” You nod in agreement. They truly were the best when they were straight from the fridge or a cooler, enhancing it’s taste.

“They’re even better shared.” You say handing them the last slices. They hum in response before letting out a small ‘thank you’.

Suddenly you ask, “what do you think the sky taste like?” Bella snaps their head in your direction, with a humored expression.

“What?”

“The sky, like right now. What’s it taste like?” A chuckle came from their growing smile.

“I wish I could tell you, but I haven’t tasted the sky before.” They confess. “Although, right now when it’s all orange like that, I like to think it’d taste like the oranges we just ate.”

You nod, agreeing with them. “Yeah, I always thought the sky would taste fruity too.” This garnered a laugh from them and an immediate smile from you, satisfied from hearing them enjoy your joke. “I’m serious. It’s orange, pink, red, there’s even some white from the clouds. The sky is just one gigantic lesbian flag.” They find this irresistibly funny, giggling with you.

“But it’s blue most of the day.” Bella points out.

“That’s what makes ‘orange hour’ so special,” you point at the remaining peels in between you, “The sky is blue most of the day until it smells the citrus from the clementine because it reminds her of her lover. She gets so excited and she can’t help but change colors: red, orange, pink, and white. Lastly, she tries to change her taste: a citrusy, cool, orange flavor. Then she realizes that she’d been mistaken and her lover hate’s oranges causing them to ignore the sky’s attempts completely. The sky then returns to her blue state, only now its a darker blue because she’s saddened by how little her lover likes oranges.”

After intently listening to you, Bella says “You made that up.”

“Maybe I did, but you liked it.”

They hummed in agreement. “I think it deserves a better ending. I mean, why would the sky want to taste like an orange? You know, if her lover hates it so much.”

“They taste good, she can’t help it. I think I’d want to taste like a clementine.” Impulsively confessing trying to be funny.

A snort emerges from Bella, making you realize the accidental innuendo you made.

“Not like that. I meant like if someone were to kiss me.” You looked down at your shoes blushing, hoping to avoid eye contact.

A silence brew as you waited for their response, and you get nervous hoping you hadn’t just embarrassed yourself any further with your honesty. Your anxiety from the quiet was soon overcome by curiosity, wanting to see their reaction. Moving your eyes toward Bella’s face you see them looking right back at you. Their expression had a hint of seriousness but it was mostly made up of something that you couldn’t describe.

Keeping their eyes locked on yours, they softly ask, “Did you want someone to kiss you?”

With a shy tone you say, “Only if they liked oranges”, jokingly trying to regain control of the conversation again.

Quietly Bella says, “I like oranges.” They’re eyes never leaving yours adding weight to their honesty.

“Good, I like bringing them to you.” Gaining some confidence you added, “I’d like to bring more though”, as you start to slowly lean your head toward them.

With the remaining space between you two, they look down at your lips. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Another odd question comes to your mind. “Do you think I’d still taste like the clementines? Like the sky?”

“Could I find out?”

The sun disappears and the dark blue begins to take over. The only remaining sign of any red, orange, pink, and white that night was up on the hill, sharing a kiss with their lover.

#bella ramsey #bella ramsey fluff #bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey x y/n #bella ramsey x you #bella ramsey fanfic #bella ramsey tlou

[mint-yooxgi]

{3} - Written in the Stars - Yandere!Idol!Yeosang X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Soft Yandere AU & Idol AU

Genre: Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Slight Humor, Slow Burn

Pairing: Yeosang X Reader (ft. platonic Ateez ensemble)

Words: 11,000

Warnings: Slow burn. Mentions of Jonghyun. Brief conversation to start about past insecurities. I think that's all. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: So, this chapter we get to see a little bit of how our dear Yeosangie is feeling. I'm doing my best not to make it a super sudden infatuation, but the feelings are there. Boy just doesn't want to admit it yet. That being said, I am super excited for a scene I have planned next chapter, so I hope you'll all look forward to it!! On a side note, I finally got my glasses!! Yay!! Anyways, as always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy~

Also, gentle reminder that I don’t do tag lists.

Disclaimer: It's not often this chapter where this applies, but the following is important to note:

"This represents a line spoken in Korean."

"Bolded represents a line spoken in English."

"Bolded and italics represents a line spoken in Japanese."

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two

Yeosang is not jealous.

He doesn’t get jealous when Atiny comment to him that San’s arms are more muscular than his are. Nor does he get jealous when other fans tell him that their bias is someone else, or would prefer a selfie with a different member other than him during fansigns. 

Knowing whether people like him or not is none of his business.

So, when he notices that you seem to be messaging Hongjoong all day today leading up to the award’s ceremony instead of the group chat at first, he most certainly is not jealous. It definitely doesn’t bother him that the Captain of Ateez gets the fun, close-up pictures of your face while you’re getting ready for tonight. The kind one would normally only send to close friends. Nor does it irritate him that you only start sending those same selfies to the group chat once Hongjoong suggests it. 

Jongho’s and Wooyoung’s whining also has nothing to do with it, of course.

Most of all, he doesn’t care that the guys all compliment you before he does when you send them all a proper photo of your face once you’re ready for tonight. It’s not like he wanted the honour of praising you first, or anything.

Yes, Kang Yeosang is certainly not jealous.

“I wonder what type of outfit she’s going to wear.” Jongho wonders aloud, managing to pull Yeosang out of his much too loud thoughts for the moment. He can see the younger flipping through all of the photos of your face that you sent them this afternoon, seemingly deciding between the two he likes the most.

“Does she usually get super dressed up for events?” Seonghwa asks, not even bothering to shift his gaze from the window.

“I think I’ve only ever seen her in dresses for formal events like the Writer’s Guild awards.” Hongjoong comments, gazing down at his phone. 

He must still be chatting with you.

Yeosang’s jaw twitches. He blinks.

“I think I remember watching a clip from a question’s panel where someone asked her about it once,” Yunho hums, tapping his fingers over his knee as they make their way towards the venue. “From what I recall, she doesn’t necessarily like wearing skirts or shorts all that much.”

“Why?” The question is out of Yeosang’s mouth before he can stop it.

“If I recall, she gave a two parted answers.” Yunho replies.

“Oh, I think Bin sent me this clip before!” Wooyoung pipes up from the back seat. “I think she said something about a lot of clothing always being a bit too short for her height. She said something about being more comfortable in male styled clothing because of it. It’s also why she doesn’t wear a lot of short dresses.”

“The struggle is real,” Mingi sighs, shaking his head in understanding.

A comforting pat is given to his arm from San who sits beside the taller male for the moment.

“And the other?” It’s Seonghwa who asks, and Yeosang feels a subtle weight lift off of his shoulders at not having to ask again himself.

A frown pulls at Jongho’s features as he looks down at his lap.

“What?” San tilts his head, curious as to the sudden silence in the car. “What is it?”

“She said she just doesn’t like the way she looks in them.” Hongjoong voices from the front seat, a subtle downturn of his lips.

“I’m pretty sure she used different words that that, cause I remember Bin going off about it.” Wooyoung chuckles. “Give me two hours between them and she’ll never feel insecure about her thighs again.”

“Wooyoung!” Seonghwa’s eyes look about ready to fall out of his head.

“What?” He complains. “It wasn’t me that said it! It was Changbin!”

“Doesn’t mean you have to tell us.” San smacks the male sitting on his opposite side.

“Like Jongho isn’t always thinking it.” Yunho teases, receiving his own harsh smack from the aforementioned male.

“He’s not the only one.” Mingi mutters, but not lowly enough.

“We’re about to arrive at the venue.” Hongjoong’s sharp gaze turns to look at all of them. “Keep it in your pants, and control yourselves.”

San sighs. “Just another casual day.”

Turning onto the street that will lead them directly to the red carpet set up at the venue, Yeosang remains quiet. Again, his jaw twitches, focussing his gaze on the passing scenery outside of the vehicle. He doesn’t know why the other’s comments bother him so much, but they do. Yet, he does whatever he can to not let it show.

“Her makeup still looks really pretty.” Jongho sighs, somewhat wistfully as he looks out his own window.

“Oh, will you ask her out already?” Yunho nearly rolls his eyes.

Jongho’s whole face begins to turn red as he sputters out a response.

“We all know you want to.” Hongjoong joins in on the teasing now, brow quirking in amusement as he sees Jongho avoiding his gaze.

“Nah, Jongho won’t be able to ask her out.” Wooyoung shakes his head.

“And why’s that?” Seonghwa shifts his body towards Wooyoung in the backseat.

“Cause Mingi or I will do it first.” Wooyoung states, rather proudly.

The tips of Mingi’s ears burn bright red as he begins to chuckle nervously, leaning back in his seat when he notices the death glare sent his way by the youngest. However, before any one of them can comment more on the matter, the car stops.

“We’re here.” Yeosang states, rather pointedly, as he nearly flings open the door to exit the vehicle, leaving the others stunned in silence behind him.

The second his foot makes contact with the carpet, screams and cheers erupt from the surrounding fans. Some go as far to start calling his name, hoping for him to spare a glimpse in their direction. Of course, he smiles politely, bowing to everyone around him as cameras flash periodically.

A minute later, and all of Ateez make their way down the carpet, stopping to pose for the cameras every now and then. The second they make it to the designated picture area, even more cameras start going off.

Through the thicket, Yeosang spots a few of his fansites. Though, with how the official photographers of the show quickly shout directions at the eight of them, he quickly forgets all about them. That is, until a small hush settles over the crowd.

The screaming fans seem to go silent as another car pulls up to the venue. The confusion as to why becomes apparent as soon as the person steps out of the vehicle.

The moment you step out of the vehicle, Yeosang cannot take his eyes off of you. Yet, it seems, neither can anyone else.

You seem to be wearing a sort of overcoat, reminiscent of a cloak. It’s deep red in colour, hiding whatever outfit you’ve chosen to wear tonight. All except for the black lace sleeves adorning your arms that poke out of the slits in the fabric. Yet still, the cloak suits you, and it matches the sinful shade of red painted elegantly on your lips.

Briefly, you make eye contact, and Yeosang swears his heart is about to burst out of his chest. The smile you send his way only confirms it.

The palms of his hands begin to sweat. A feeling of which he hasn’t experienced since their debut stages.

Just what are you doing to him?

An organizer approaches, walking beside you and whispering lowly in your ear. You seem to nod quickly to whatever she says, for in the next minute, you’re pausing in your steps to scan the crowd. It seems as if the call of your name has drawn your attention.

There, standing next to some Atiny’s he noticed earlier, is a small group of fans that seem to be completely awestruck by you. A few hold copies of your books in hand, smiles wide on their faces as you approach. The way he notices one of the males say something to you, only for you to turn your face away for the moment bashfully has an uncomfortable feeling settling in his chest.

Why does he want that to be him?

Yeosang only wishes he knew what you were saying, but from the way the fan’s faces light up, he can just tell that you’re probably making their entire evening. When you go so far as to sign the copies of their books and take a photo, he knows that you do. Though, that same male that complimented you seemed to be getting a little too touchy with you, in his opinion.

The feeling of someone gently nudging his side pulls him out of his thoughts of you. Blinking, his vision clears to see Wooyoung motion for him to continue down the line towards the red carpet interviewers that are now ready for them.

Just as Yeosang goes to take a step, they get told to wait once more.

“We’d love to get a few photos of you with that author for public relations.” A few photographers say, already having talked it over with the event’s staff.

The eight of them share a brief look before nodding, and Yeosang knows he’s not the only one that cannot control the upturn of his lips.

A kind greeting is the first thing that escapes your lips when you walk up to all of them. You bow politely, to which they bow and greet you back. A moment later, and the photographers have instructed you to stand in the centre of all of them, having four males on your either side.

Mingi and Yunho get told to stand directly beside you to offset the height, causing both Wooyoung and Hongjoong to get shifted to the ends. The fact that you stand just a smidge taller than Yunho signifies that you must be wearing some type of heels. From the way Jongho is staring at you like you’ve hung all of the stars in the night sky, Yeosang knows he’s probably right.

His brow twitches, his smile suddenly looking a little forced. 

Soon, the photographers get you to shift poses slightly so that him, San, Hongjoong, and Wooyoung are crouched in front of the five of you behind them. While doing so, Yeosang manages to school his face back into that neutral expression everyone is used to from him. A moment later, and he’s posing for the cameras.

The minute you get told to place your hand onto Yeosang’s shoulder, he can feel the tips of his ears turning red. He just hopes people assume it’s from the chill gracing the night air. A stark contrast to the sudden way that he can feel his skin burning beneath your gentle touch.

A few more photos are taken like this until all of Ateez are finally told to move on to the interview portion of the night. Besides, the photographers want to get a few shots of you by yourself. Apparently, there’s going to be a big Naver article written about you attending these awards tonight, and the company wants as many photos as possible to choose from. The more they can get with you interacting with the other celebrities in attendance, the better.

Stepping up onto the little platform that they have set up for the interview, Yeosang follows wordlessly behind San. Three microphones gets passed to the group, one assigned to Hongjoong, one to Yunho, and one to Jongho. Though, with how they’re positioned, Yeosang knows that both Yunho and Jongho were just the unlucky ones to get stuck with the talking bits.

A few questions get asked, and he vaguely registers answers being given from his group mates beside him. He gives nods here and there in agreement, and that seems to suffice for now. That is, until one question draws his attention back to the two interviewers.

“We’ve been asking all of the artists here tonight, and some of their answers have shocked us.” The female host begins.

“There seems to be a common answer among certain groups, so we’d like to ask the members of Ateez now that same question.” The male host continues.

“Who’s performance are you looking forward to the most tonight?” The female host asks, looking between all of them.

As always, Hongjoong answers first.

“Ah, well, as Captain of Ateez, I’d say most of us are hoping Atiny will be looking forward to our special performance tonight.” Hongjoong begins with a smile, his eyes shining. “So, I will say I’m most looking forward to our stage.”

“Spoken like a true leader,” the male host nods in approval before turning his head to the member standing beside Hongjoong.

Mingi takes the mic Hongjoong offers him. “For me, I would have to say that I am most looking forward to Stray Kids performance tonight.”

Seonghwa is next, a soft smile painting his features. “Twice.”

Raising the mic back to his lips, Jongho is quick to answer. “Ah, well, I’m very much looking forward to hearing a particular speech from my favourite author.”

A few ‘oh’s and ‘aw’s are heard from the hosts and surrounding crowd.

“Yes, she seems to be a very popular choice in response tonight.” The male host notes. “Stray Kids’ Bang Chan said something that her performance is something he wishes he wrote himself after hearing it in rehearsals yesterday.”

“I cannot wait to see what it is!” The female host smiles, her eyes crinkling at the sides. “What about you, San?”

The mic in Jongho’s hands gets passed to the aforementioned male.

“Well, I’m personally excited for Seventeen’s performance.” He smiles.

“Ah, yes, a few members of Seventeen also said that they were excited to watch you all perform tonight, too!” The female host comments, nodding her head.

Wooyoung is next, but San already sees him holding onto a mic, so he passes his back to Jongho.

“My mind is telling me Stray Kids, but my gut is telling me NCT.” Wooyoung says, and the hosts share a chuckle.

“Changbin of Stray Kids said the same for your group.” The female host chuckles, a subtle blush rising to her features.

A blink, and the mic is back in Yunho’s hands.

“I would have to say that the performance I’m looking forward to the most is ours.” A wink is sent to the camera. “Atiny, we have a very special stage planned for you tonight. Please support and cheer us on!”

A roar erupts from the crowd, and the eight men all smile.

Finally, it’s time for Yeosang’s turn to answer, but again, he finds himself distracted by you. It looks like you’ve just finished up with the photographers who had made you take some photos with all of NCT just shortly after they had arrived.

The feeling of a microphone being shoved into his hands draws his attention back to the present, the hosts blinking at him expectantly.

Raising the mic to his lips, he has his prepared response ready, and on the tip of his tongue. Only, when he opens his mouth to speak, the answer that comes out shocks even him.

“Seems as if that author is a hot topic tonight!” The male host chuckles. “I certainly hope that she can live up to everyone’s expectations.”

“Speaking of, look who is coming to join us!” The female host motions for you to join all of them after being prompted by the staff.

Slowly, you begin to ascend the side steps, and all Yeosang can do is stare. His mind screams at him to move, to offer you his hand as you step towards him, but it seems as if he’s frozen in his spot. What only makes it worse is when he sees Yunho eagerly hop passed him and help you the rest of the way up onto the platform.

A polite ‘hello’ escapes you as you bow to both of the hosts, and all of Ateez again. A moment later, and they’re bowing back.

“You look absolutely stunning tonight, doesn’t she, boys?” The female host comments, a large smile on her face. Though, in the next moment, she leans into her co-host. “Oh, I forgot, can she speak Korean?”

“Yes, I can speak Korean.” You confirm, but only the people on stage hear you. You notice both host’s eyes going wide before the female motions for you to take a microphone in hand.

Yeosang graciously passes you the one in his hands, seeing as he stands on one side of you, while Yunho stands on the other. The moment you repeat the phrase, both hosts smile at you.

“It’s lovely to have you here with us this evening.” The female continues.

“It’s lovely to be here amongst such admirable people.” You reply, a soft smile painting your features.

“Kind, and beautiful,” the male comments, a small twitch to his brow upwards. “You must be very popular.”

Something about the host’s tone rubs Yeosang the wrong way.

A bashful look crosses your features. “Ah, thank you.”

“We were just chatting with the members of Ateez about who they’re most looking forward to seeing perform tonight,” the female host begins. “You seem to be a very popular answer amongst all idols.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” You place a hand onto your cheek. “I certainly do hope to live up to everyone’s expectations.”

The male host lets out a small puff in amusement.

“We talked with SHINee earlier in the night, and they informed us that you personally spoke with them about an aspect of your speech.” The male says. “Would you please divulge that with us now?”

“Unfortunately, that was a matter between myself and those four wonderful men.” You reply calmly. “Besides, I think I would rather let my words speak for themselves. You’ll all find out soon enough why, anyways.”

“Understandable!” The female continues. “Anyways, one final question for you before we bid farewell to Ateez for now.”

You nod, eagerly.

“Who are you most looking forward to seeing perform tonight?” She asks, leaning in slightly to catch your answer.

“Oh, excellent question!” You chuckle. “You see, I’m very indecisive, so my immediate response is everybody. This truly is a dream come true for me. However, if I have to choose, other than these fine gentlemen here,” you motion slightly to the Ateez members around you, “I would always have to say SHINee. Though, I think my one friend might have something to say if I don’t add NCT in there, as well.”

The hosts laugh along with you, though the male’s seems a little strained.

Yeosang frowns, but not even a millisecond later, his expression is neutral once more.

“Well, thank you so much for stopping to answer our questions!” The female smiles. “We have a few more for the lovely author here, but the Ateez members are free to head inside.”

Reluctantly, Yeosang begins to follow the other guys inside the venue, only catching little snippets of the hosts beginning to ask you some more questions. The way he looks back to see some NCT members waiting at the side of the stage, Mark at the forefront of the group and looking up at you in awe, twists his stomach.

“Didn’t realize you were looking forward to her speech that much, Yeosangie,” Wooyoung teases as soon as they’re out of earshot from the press.

“Shut up,” the male grumbles, rolling his eyes slightly.

“I wonder what type of outfit she’s wearing under that cloak,” Jongho wonders aloud, almost absentmindedly as they all make their way towards the green rooms to drop off their coats.

Luckily for them, there seem to be a few screens in the backstage area playing the interviews taking place outside. One of the hosts must have just asked you that same question, for you chuckle fondly.

“Well, avid fans of my first published series will certainly be very pleased.” You wink at the camera, and the female host pretends to swoon.

“I absolutely adore those books!” She says. “I can’t wait to see what you have in store for us tonight!”

Unfortunately for Yeosang, the members get ushered away from the screen to prepare for the beginning of the show. Well, at least Hongjoong does since he’s participating in your speech. 

The crew had everyone rehearse in reverse show order yesterday, which means you’re the opener. You’ve already expressed your slight nerves to the group chat, them all reassuring you that you’ll do great. From how well rehearsal went yesterday, Yeosang has no doubt in his mind that everyone will love what you have planned.

Walking out into the artist area after dropping off their coats, the boys (minus Hongjoong) move to their designated seats. Yeosang waves to a few fans that call his name, as do the other members, bowing politely to their seniors and smiling at their juniors. The second they sit at their designated couches, Changbin is leaning over from the one beside theirs.

“Heard staff muttering you got to take photos with everyone’s favourite author tonight.” He meets Wooyoung’s gaze, and Yeosang notices Felix also looking their way. “We are so jealous.”

“We got told Chan commented on her speech during the interview.” Yunho hums, leaning back comfortably in his seat.

“Minho had to subtly elbow him to prevent him from taking things further.” Jisung grins knowingly. 

“The way he was praising her might draw some unwanted attention from dispatch.” Minho shrugs casually.

“Not that our Channie Boy would mind.” Seungmin grins teasingly, a wiggle to his brows.

“Says you!” Jeongin cuts in. “Who’s the one that started lamenting about serenading her first at karaoke, and then asking her to sing a duet with him?”

Yeosang shifts in his seat, somewhat unknowingly.

“Like hell I’m letting you serenade her first!” Jongho frowns, meeting Seungmin’s gaze from across the two tables.

“Bring it on, Apple Boy.” Seungmin quirks a brow in challenge as the others simply look on in amusement.

“Careful, he might threaten to split you in half like one.” Yeosang comments, tone a little firmer than he intends. A fact which does not go unnoticed by his group mates.

“What? Speaking from experience?” Changbin laughs.

“I think you’ll have to fight Hyunjin asking her to learn Red Lights with him first.” Jisung casually adds, taking a sip from a water bottle provided for each of the members at the couches.

“Hyunjin wants her to learn Red Lights with him?” Mingi’s eyes nearly bulge right out of his head.

“He said he’d also be willing to perform Red Velvet’s Psycho again with her if she asked.” Seungmin hums.

Another cheer from the crowd erupts as NCT enters the area, and Yeosang notices how one-two-seven ends up being assigned the couches on the opposite side of them. Polite bows and greetings are sent their way, and Yeosang cannot help but notice that Mark sits the closest to their own seats.

“That’s not to mention how both Felix and Hyunjin both want to teach her Taste.” Minho huffs out a laugh, leaning back in his seat.

“We told you that you’re welcome to join us,” Felix comments, a chuckle falling from his lips. “Man’s too proud to say that he was impressed by her dancing skills.”

“She might feel too crowded having three males teaching her that type of dance.” Minho replies with a shrug, but he cannot hide the way he averts his gaze to the floor somewhat bashfully. “I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, is all.”

“That won’t stop Changbin.” Jisung teases.

“Hey!” The aforementioned male whines.

“Aww, does our little Lee Know have a crush, too?” Seungmin teases, Jeongin joining in quickly at the way the elder male’s cheeks flare.

“Hey!” He smacks the both of them on their thighs.

“Should we start that ‘simp squad’ now?” Wooyoung leans over to Changbin, hands gripping the armrest of the couch.

“What do you mean ‘start’?” Changbin laughs. “Felix and I have already been members for months.”

“And you didn’t invite me?” Wooyoung gasps, absolutely appalled by this turn of events.

“Oh, make sure you go around to all of the groups with the sign up list.” Johnny’s voice from their opposite side draws their attention. “I know plenty who would gladly join. Right, Mark?”

At the way they all turn to face NCT now, Johnny chuckles. Even Mark’s face begins to go bright red.

Yeosang exhales a deep sigh through his nose, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans further back into the couch. It appears that Twice has just arrived, the females taking their seats on the couches in front of them. Again, more polite bows and greetings are sent to the other artists, to which they are given back.

“Actually, I think combining them would be better.” Jungwoo joins in on teasing his bandmate. “Mark’s already president, vice-president, and head of his own. A merger might incite better relations in the simp community.”

“This is a completely casual conversation.” San nods, blinking a few times in earnest. A moment later, he’s nodding to himself. “Everyday, normal topics.”

Laughter erupts from around him.

“Just because you and Yeosang don’t read her books, doesn’t mean we don’t.” Jongho grumbles.

“Believe me,” Seonghwa leans back, crossing his one leg over the other. “We know.”

More laughter erupts around them.

“Not my fault you all don’t have taste.” Mingi huffs, a slight pout pulling at his lips as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You know, as a curtesy, I think you should read at least one of her books now.” Yunho hums, looking between both San and Yeosang. “You’re both technically friends with her.”

“How come you’re not harping on Hwa for not reading her books?” San whines, motioning to the aforementioned male with a jerk of his chin.

“Because unlike some people, I actually borrowed her first series from Joong after we met.” Seonghwa snorts, amusement dancing in his gaze. “Never thought I would like that type of genre, but she writes it quite well. I just wish she would mention Star Wars more.”

The pout that pulls onto his lips is almost comical, and Yeosang nearly rolls his eyes.

“It’s not her favourite series.” He replies, somewhat bluntly.

All heads turn to him, some with quirked eyebrows.

“Then, what is her favourite series?” Jongho quirks a brow almost smugly, appearing ready to correct the elder and prove how much more he knows about you.

“Lord of the Rings.” Yeosang states, blinking as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Wait, how do you know that?” Wooyoung frowns, and Yeosang notices he’s not the only fan of yours that does so.

“She told me on the plane.” There’s a subtle quirk to the corner of his lips as he says this. A certain undertone of smugness that causes him to sit a little straighter in his spot.

However, before any of them can respond, the lights are dimming throughout the venue, and a hush settles over the crowd. An opening VCR begins to play, introducing the acts that will be performing tonight, interspersed with live shots from all of the artists sitting in their designated seats. Cheers erupt from the crowd as certain groups appear on screen, a grand instrumental accompanying the visuals.

Turning his head slightly, Yeosang can spot multiple varying lightsticks throughout the crowd, shining brightly in the darkness. The way the little glowing orbs shake along with the fan’s cheers makes him smile softly, and he knows he’s not the only one.

A voice booms through the speakers at the end of the video, announcing the start to the ceremonies, and outlining the safety procedures for the evening should they be needed. Once it has finished, another hush settles over the crowd as the stage is revealed, only for a loud roar to erupt in anticipation.

From the back of the stage, you begin to walk forward towards the lone microphone standing at the front. You seem to be holding a small notebook and pen in your hands, clutching them close to your body as you step forward slowly.

The moment the spotlight hits you, the crowd goes silent. Then, it’s as if many share a collective gasp as your full form takes centre stage. Finally, your outfit for the evening has been revealed, and from the way he can hear the sharp intake of breaths from your self-proclaimed biggest fans, he knows that what you’re wearing holds some sort of significance to you.

The dress is beautiful. The black lace starts with an off the shoulder neckline, trailing all the way down to your wrists in an intricate design. The material flares slightly at the waist, reaching all the way down to the floor, dragging elegantly over the stage as you walk forward. Gradually, the black material fades into a navy blue, until it bleeds into a vibrant royal blue at the bottom. The design is slightly form fitting, too.

Yes, there is no question about it. The dress is stunning. Yet, even more so, the person wearing it.

From his vantage point, Yeosang can practically see you glowing up on stage. The smile you wear is radiant, those sinful red lips of yours pulling across your features as your eyes shine. The screens projecting your image to the audience only serve to accent every little thing about you, and Yeosang can feel his heart skip a beat in his chest.

He swallows thickly.

“Holy shit.” Jongho gasps, and the elder male swears the younger has stopped breathing for the moment.

“What?” Yeosang frowns, noting all of the awed stares you’re receiving from the idols around him. Hell, even the way some of the Twice members squeal lowly in front of him only causes his brow to furrow even more. “What is it?”

“She’s wearing that dress.” Yunho breathes, blinking in awe as he leans forward in his spot to get a better glimpse of you on stage.

“What dress?” His brow furrows deeper, eyes scanning over your figure once more.

From in front of him, he can vaguely hear the Twice members muttering about how you look absolutely divine.

The corner of Jongho’s lips quirk upwards, a small puff of air escaping his nose. “Read her books.”

Yeosang shoots a pointed side-eyed look the younger’s way, jaw twitching as he clenches his teeth in annoyance. Why does Jongho always feel the need to gatekeeper everything about you that Yeosang asks about? It’s not fair. He wants to know you, too.

A still silence settles over the entire venue.

“Hello, everyone,” your voice comes out smooth and steady as you address the crowd, welcoming all to the ceremony and introducing yourself all the while. “Tonight, a celebration will be taking place. A celebration of life, beauty, and music. A celebration I am honoured to be apart of, and am grateful to be experiencing with all of you.”

Soft smiles paint the faces of the people around him, but none are as proud as Mark’s looks right now. The special gleam Yeosang can see shining within the males’ eyes has him huffing out a small breath, focussing back on you in the next second.

“Tonight, we are all here for one common purpose,” you state, eyes staring into the camera before you. “To celebrate art.”

The screens light up behind you, the words appearing in golden writing upon a pure black background.

“Art comes in many different shapes and forms, but to many,” you smile softly, “art is life.”

A brief pause as the screens begin to play a video showcasing different forms of art.

“It fills a room with music.” A new voice - Bang Chan - says.

The lights on the composers come up and a collective gasp is heard from the audience as both him and Jihoon are revealed. A montage of both Jihoon and Bang Chan working in their studios appear on screen.

“With vibrance.” Seulgi’s voice is heard cutting through the silence as the lights come up on the three visual artists.

Images of Renjun’s, Hyunjin’s, and Seulgi’s art are displayed on screen. A few pictures and silent clips of them working on said items or presenting them with smiles on their faces appear as well.

“And elegance.” Momo is the next to speak, Ten and Taemin flanking her on either side as the dancers are highlighted.

Clips of all three of them dancing in their respective practice studios flash across the screen, and even some of the collaborations between artists. Momo’s cover of Taemin’s Move appears, and even some different Super M performances focussing on both Ten and Taemin are displayed briefly.

“It showcases one’s highs,” Key’s voice is heard after a moment, Onew standing right beside him with a smile on his face.

Live performances of each male during concerts and comeback stages are shown, and even a short, silent clip of Onew performing Nessun Dorma.

“And their lows.” The lights on the rappers come up, Dahyun grinning widely at the crowd as Taeyong smiles beside her.

Performances of both NCT and Twice flash on screen, both idols in the midst of rapping their verses for their respective songs.

“It allows us to express who we are in different ways.” The idols you have chosen to represent fashion are showcased next, and Yeosang immediate recognizes Hongjoong’s own voice coming through the speakers.

Behind them, a montage of Baekhyun at his Privé Alliance premiers are combined with clips of Hongjoong refashioning clothing. Even a few shots of Hongjoong attending Paris Fashion Week for Balmain are shown.

“And even become who we are not, even if just for a short while.” The actors are brought into the spotlight, Minho standing proudly beside Kyungsoo as the former finishes speaking.

Multiple shots from each male’s respective dramas are shown, showcasing their versatility in the acting field. Even a few interviews and behind the scenes footage are shown wherein the two speak about their various roles they have performed over the years.

“Art encompass all aspects of a person’s life, and lives in collaboration with the artist, just as we do with one another.” Your voice draws everyone’s attention back to you for the moment, still standing at the front of the stage. “It has many angles, just as we as people do. When you change your perspective, it can become many different things. For art is not defined by one, single thing, nor will it ever be.”

“However, it does not do well to forget that despite all of its joys, art can be lonely.” You say, and Yeosang notices quite a few nodding along with your words, especially the idols on stage. “It allows us to channel our inner thoughts and feelings into a process so that others never have to feel as alone as we do. It is there for us in our darkest times, and shines with us in the light. For, even when we are alone, we always have art. It is constant and reassuring. It allows us to all express our fears, and our vulnerability. It allows for others to observe such pieces ands say, ‘I understand, for I have felt this way, too.’ Most importantly, it says, ‘you are not alone.’”

Clips of personal hardships are shown of the various idols standing on stage with you. Tears of joy, of pain, and of sorrow are shed, along with demonstrations of all of the hard work, time, and effort that go into each different art form.

Pages upon pages are edited together, showing scribbles and writings across them. Some end up torn out of the notebook, while others are shown being crumpled up and tossed aside.

That’s when Yeosang realizes, that this is your portion of the video. Your own art form taking shape in writing as a blank page with a cursor blinking almost ominously overhead is shown.

“Art can be simple, and it can also be complex.” You say. “Yet, always. Always, always, always, it starts with a single idea.”

A stereotypical ‘Once upon a time…” is seen being typed out onto the blank document showcased onscreen.

“Art starts with a vision, and a dream.” You say, and your fingers tighten the slightest bit on that pen and notebook clutched in your hand. “For me, it starts with a blank page, and a pen. All it takes is a single spark. A moment of clarity through the chaos that is life to help guide us in a way that we wish to experience with other people. Yet, at the core of all of this, is one binding factor.”

Quickly, you flip open that notebook and scribble something onto a page. Turning it around to show the camera reveals a close up shot of your writing spelling out the word that immediately appears on screen. 

The word for ‘love’ appears in big golden letters above your head, and a collective gasp is heard from the audience. A fact which is only emphasized when each idol standing on stage with you pulls out a piece of paper of their own, the word love written in their mother tongue in their own handwriting on each.

“Every artist is passionate in what they do; art encompasses the mind, body, and soul of the person who creates it. Art is meant to be shared in all of its forms, and it is you who allow us to continue to be our authentic selves through such self expression.” You continue, voice strong as you stand tall. “The amount of love, time, dedication, and energy put into a single piece always shines through. I can think of no better example for this that the late Kim Jonghyun, who’s artistic views have not only inspired me, but so many of my fellow artists around the globe. His dedication and love for his craft was clear in everything that he did, and continues to be a guiding light for many artists still struggling in the dark.”

Behind you, the camera picks up a single tear trailing down the side of Minho’s cheek. Though, from the looks of things, some of the other idols sharing the stage with you do not fare any better.

“No matter what type of life we lead as individuals, we are all bound by a common love for art.” The soft smile is back on your face. You take the time to look around at the artists before you sitting in the couches, along with many of the staff continuing to work to keep the show running. You briefly meet Yeosang’s gaze. “It is what connects us, for art is eternal. Love inspires art, and art inspires love. It is apparent in everything that we do, the people we are, and who we are meant to become.”

“Tonight, we are all here on common purpose,” your gaze is back on the camera before you, bars of music appearing on the screen behind you as notes begin to form on the sheet music. “Tonight, it is our love of music which connects us all.”

More nods are seen all around, a few even already shedding tears along with your words.

“As a beautiful poet, and artist once said, "Even though we can’t communicate using the same language, we use music instead.””

Both Key and Onew swallow thickly. Tears now trail a path down both of their faces as the quote appears on screen, Jonghyun being cited beneath as the speaker of such words.

Many sniffles are heard from the surrounding crowd, many openly sobbing along to your final words as you begin to wrap up your speech for the evening.

“Art is timeless, and knows no bounds. It transcends cultures, languages, and even memory. For even after an artist has passed, their legacy lives on. It lives on in their work, yes, but it also lives on in all of us. Each of us carries that passion, that drive, to strive to be our best selves, and produce art that we can all be proud of. We as artists pour our blood, sweat, and tears into everything that we do, in hopes to share it with you. For art is love, and without love, there would be no art.”

“After all, a heart without art is just eh.”

A few chuckles are heard throughout the crowd as you speak those words in English, shrugging along to them lightly. The video behind you demonstrates the word ‘Heart’ failing as the ‘Art’ portion is removed.

“I would like to end now, with a final quote from Jonghyun which has inspired me, even in my darkest times. For more than everything I have said here tonight, it is always important to remember this: we, as individuals, are all priceless pieces of artwork in our own rights.” Your eyes begin to shine with unshed tears, your breath hitching in your throat momentarily as you look out into the crowd one final time. Taking a deep breath in, you begin to speak once more, the quote appearing in perfect time with each word you go on to say, “The most beautiful thing in all the world is right now. This moment. You. Don’t ever forget that.”

A brief pause where you swallow thickly, a single tear sliding down the side of your cheek. 

You bow deeply. “Thank you very much.”

The moment you straighten back to your full height on stage, a tremendous applause greets you. Yeosang hasn’t even realized he’s started crying until he feels the first of his tears land on the skin of his hands, yet he knows he’s not the only one. Inside that venue, he’s pretty sure that there’s almost no dry eye in sight. Besides, the response from the crowd is too authentic and loud to suggest otherwise.

A blink, and Mark Lee is standing to his feet, followed immediately by all of the NCT members present at the event. Twice is the next group to stand, Jongho springing up as well before any of the members can stop him.

The crowd seems to follow the idol’s lead, for a moment later, the entire venue is giving you a standing ovation. Even both Irene and Wendy are reluctantly on their feet, tears falling freely down their faces despite their attempts to hide them.

What makes this moment even more special, is that on stage, the idols you have chosen to help you all step towards you. However, it is the four members of SHINee that approach you, bowing to you in tandem as you bow back. A moment later, a staff member hands something to Taemin onstage.

It takes a few moments for the applause to die down and for everyone to settle back into their seats. Once they do, it’s like a new sense of calm and understanding has passed over the entire crowd as the members of SHINee address you.

“You have once again proven your elegance with words here tonight in front of all of us,” Jinki begins, a fond smile gracing his features.

“You have reminded us all of why we are here, and why each and every one of us continues to strive for perfection in everything that we do.” Minho is the next to speak, standing tall as he looks upon you with pride.

“We would like to now thank you for your hard work and dedication to your own craft which you have shared with all of us tonight.” Key tilts his head in acknowledgement at you, eyes shining as Taemin approaches you with an award held in his hands.

“In honour of this ceremony tonight, we would like to present you with this artists award for the written word.” Taemin speaks lowly, handing the little statuette to you as a few more tears escape your eyes. He leans in, the cameras catching the way his own tears continue to fall freely down his face. “Thank you for honouring our brother.”

Another round of applause is heard from the audience.

“May this award solidify the relationship between artists, and the bond of love that we all share towards a common craft.” Minho smiles at you as you bow once more, thanking each one of them earnestly without a moment’s hesitation.

The transitional instrumental begins to play over the speakers as you all exit the stage. Most of the idols around you begin to congratulate you on your way out, you inclining your head to them in time and smiling widely.

Yeosang only wishes he could be up there, too, celebrating in your own victory.

A minute later, and the first idol performance kicks off, the crowd cheering along with the music. It takes a few minutes before most of the idols return to their groups after helping you with your performance, but still, you do not appear.

No, you do not appear in the artist’s area for over twenty minutes. Twenty painstakingly long minutes where Yeosang subtly keeps glancing towards the side, hoping that you’ll appear at any moment.

Once you do, though, it’s as if all eyes are drawn to you.

Walking with a staff member to your designated seat, you get stopped lightly by a few groups. Congratulations are heard all around, some idols going so far as to stand and bow to you, mumbles of gratitude falling from their lips. Of course, you immediately smile and bow back, talking lightly to those that wish to converse with you during the small interludes between performances.

Finally, you reach your seat, and it looks las if they’ve seated you right next to Twice, but in front of NCT for the show. A fact that normally Yeosang wouldn’t take much notice of, were you anyone else. However, the fact that it’s you, and that you’re so far away bothers him.

It’s not like he wants to congratulate you himself or anything.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he notices both Jongho and Wooyoung stand to their feet. Both Felix and Changbin do as well. Not that Yeosang is keeping tabs, or anything.

“Where are you two going?” His gaze narrows at them suspiciously.

“To congratulate our friend,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes. “What does it look like we’re doing?”

“Joong already did, though.” Seonghwa frowns, a hint of worry on his features as he glances around at all of the cameras watching their every move.

“We know.” Jongho hums, shrugging nonchalantly. “So, if anyone asks, we’ve just gone to the washroom.”

“Let them go,” Hongjoong huffs out a laugh. “I certainly don’t want to listen to them whining about it the whole show.”

“They’ll be a few seats away, and it’s not like idols haven’t switched couches before during shows.” Yunho hums, amusement dancing in his gaze.

Yeosang can only watch, frozen to his spot as the two youngest members make their way over to you with both Felix and Changbin shortly after that. 

Currently, you appear to be talking lightly to both Sana and Mina for the moment. The three of you lean closer in to one another as a small break is taken as the stage gets set for the next performance.

The second you see Felix, Changbin, Jongho, and Wooyoung appear, you smile. However, due to the angle Yeosang is sitting in, he cannot tell what you’re saying. Instead, he opts to lean back onto the couch, a huff escaping him as his lips tug downwards in the corners.

“If it bothers you that much, go with them.” Hongjoong chuckles, taking notice of the pout Yeosang seems to wear.

“I’m not bothered.” Yeosang is quick to reply, diverting his gaze to the men sitting beside him.

“Mmhmm,” Yunho hums, a knowing quirk to his brow. “And Jongho isn’t on his knees proposing as we speak.”

Yeosang’s head whips in your direction.

A boisterous laugh greets his ears as he sees you continuing to casually converse with the four other idols. None of them are on their knees, nor have they even moved a single inch.

If looks could kill, Yunho would be ten feet under.

“Oh yeah, definitely not bothered.” San quirks a brow, the corner of his lips quirked upwards smugly.

“Shut up.” Yeosang grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Just admit you’re starting to like her, and be done with it.” Mingi shrugs, patting the male beside him lightly on the knee.

“It’s not like that.” Yeosang shakes his head lightly, eyes catching on the way you seem to throw your head back in laughter at something Wooyoung has just said. His jaw twitches in annoyance.

“Sure, it’s not.” Seonghwa grins.

“It’s not!” Yeosang can feel his face heating beneath their knowing stares. “I haven’t even known her for a month!”

“It doesn’t take long to start developing feelings for someone.” Hongjoong comments casually, turning his attention back to the stage as the next group walks into position.

“You guys are making a mountain out of a mole hill.” Yeosang huffs, turning back to face forward as well.

Even though the guys all choose to say nothing as both Jongho and Wooyoung return to join them, Yeosang can just tell that they still don’t believe him.

No, there’s nothing there. Just like how Yeosang is not jealous, he doesn’t have any other feelings towards you other than friendly. You don’t even know each other all that well, especially not like that.

Yet.

Yeosang blinks, surprising himself with that small voice that sounds at the back of his head. He should be used to it by now, but he finds that everything about you throws him off. In a good way, of course. You’re just never what he expects, and for some reason, the thought of growing closer to you, even just as friends, warms his heart more than anything. He wants to support you, just as you’ve incurred that you’ve been supporting him all of this time.

Why then, does the thought of you with anyone else, or even the sight of you getting along so well with another male, bother him so? Why is it when even his closest friends make you smile, his heart hurts?

Yeosang gets so lost in his thoughts, that he barely registers the time passing by. The only two things that manage to snap him out of his daze of staring longingly in your direction half of the time is when Ateez wins an award and has to go up on stage to accept it, and when they are finally taken backstage to get ready for their performance.

In the back of his mind, Yeosang hopes that you’ll be focussed on him.

Standing in the wings, he cannot help but smile to himself. From his vantage point backstage, he can just make out your figure sitting on the couches, dancing along to Stray Kids’ performance right now. The way you excitedly mouth along to the words, potentially even singing along to them has the infectious joy on your features flooding his veins. He cannot help but get lost in the way you move, captivating him with something as simple as nodding your head and shifting your shoulders along to the beat.

Will you do the same for Ateez? Will you be just as content to sing along to the lyrics and music that he is about to perform? Will you, and he silently hopes this beyond everything, be as captivated by him as he is by you?

“Ateez, standby.” A crew member says, headset blinking periodically as they finish guiding the members to their entrance spots.

A large roar is heard from the crowd in response to Stray Kids wrapping up their set, the members rushing passed Ateez as they exit the stage.

Brief congratulations and praises are shared, Wooyoung and Changbin playfully teasing each other about who is going to win their bet of having your gaze on them more when performing. Though Bang Chan and Hongjoong chuckle fondly, Yeosang cannot help the irritated twitch of his jaw.

A minute later, Ateez is entering the stage.

The crowd once more erupts in cheers as their intro begins playing, their names being introduced onscreen as their opening VCR plays in the background. Yeosang can feel that typical rush of adrenaline flooding his veins, taking a deep breath in and getting into his starting position.

The music begins.

Each move is precise, the dance flowing between all of them just as every time they both practice and perform. Not a single error is seen from any of them, and the energy from the audience feeds into each of their movements, giving them motivation to continue and perform even better than before. Of course, it helps when certain close ups of the members cause cheers to erupt, or certain parts of the song.

The moment Yeosang steps to the front to do his part, the movements second nature to him by now, he spares a glance in your direction.

There you sit, completely mesmerized by him. Your eyes are wide, hand resting over your heart as you lean back into the couch as if you’re swooning.

Yeosang smirks, putting even more effort into his every movement. He needs to continue to feel your eyes on him every second of this performance, because it motivates him to do even better than before. 

If your touch is fire, then your gaze is electricity, setting his whole body alight in the best ways possible.

The minute the stage ends, Yeosang darts his gaze over to you once more. The fact that he can see you cheering loudly causes his already racing heart to stutter, a smile pulling at his features all the while. There’s a sense of pride building in his chest, more so than usual, and he absolutely revels in it.

It takes them about ten minutes to cool down backstage. Each male takes the time to change out of their performance outfits, allowing the staff to wipe the sweat from their faces before heading back to their seats.

The minute they return to the couches, they see you smiling widely at them. The added fact that you send them two enthusiastic thumbs up, mouthing ‘great job’ towards them, has them all smiling and bowing at you in thanks.

Yeosang’s heart absolutely soars, but he can tell that he’s not the only one. Even both San and Seonghwa look absolutely thrilled to be receiving your praise, giddy grins tugging onto their features as they walk passed. It’s only when Jongho sits on the couch directly beside yours that Yeosang realizes that the Twice members have all been brought backstage for their own performance.

Wooyoung is the next to sit on that same couch, and soon, all of Ateez takes over the spot where Twice had once been. You talk lowly with them, congratulating them again on an excellent performance while talking excitedly about your favourite parts. A fact of which makes all of them nod along eagerly, for you have something to praise about all of them.

The moment Yeosang’s name slips passed your lips, his eyes are on you.

“I know for a fact I wasn’t the only one captivated by your part tonight.” You say, eyes shining as you meet his gaze. “You should have heard the way Itzy squealed beside me. It was so validating to know I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.”

Sure enough, when his gaze darts passed your head, he can see Itzy smiling and waving at him from the couch to the left of your own. 

He turns back to you.

Lowly, he thanks you, and again, he can feel a vibrant warmth spreading onto his cheeks. Yet, all too soon, you’re moving on.

“And that high note!” You turn to Jongho, fingers squeezing the arm of the couch beside you. “God, I always love watching your live stages cause you guys don’t just perform, you perform.”

The way you emphasize that word has smiles rising to all of their faces, especially when they watch you lean forward slightly as you say such a thing. This is the first time they’ve ever truly experienced you talking like this about them, and each male wants to enjoy it. Though, some are definitely enjoying it more than others. Including Yeosang.

“I could literally go on forever about this, but I’ll spare you guys from my rant beforehand.” You chuckle, shifting back into your original position.

“Really, I don’t think any of us would mind.” Hongjoong grins at you, but the way his eyes flash suggests he knows something that the others don’t.

“Yeah, okay, captain of the stage demons,” you snort. “You’re really not slick in still trying to figure out my bias to your group. You ask me more times than the Iron Lung over here.”

At the way you motion to Jongho with your thumb, the guys and you all share a laugh.

“Didn’t realize Captain was that interested in learning your bias,” Wooyoung’s eyebrow quirks mischievously. “And after that huge ass lecture on the way home from rehearsals yesterday about giving you space about it.”

Hongjoong looks about ready to leap across the couch and start smacking Wooyoung upside the head.

“I honestly don’t mind not knowing.” Hongjoong says, though the fact that he forces a tight smile suggests otherwise.

“Really?” You grin, tilting your head forward knowingly. “Mister ‘don’t look at other idols’ doesn’t care whether or not my bias to his group is actually him or not?”

“I don’t say that!” His mouth falls open in shock.

All heads in Ateez turn to look at Hongjoong, blinking in disbelief.

“Okay, maybe like, once,” he grumbles.

Yunho snorts out a laugh, “yeah, maybe once today.”

A playful smack is given to the younger male, who pretends to rub his side in pain.

“Whatever,” Hongjoong mumbles. “You help a friend out with their presentation, and they won’t even tell you their Ateez bias afterwards.”

You laugh.

“As long as I’m your wrecker, that’s all that matters.” Wooyoung chimes in, a firm nod to his head.

“Given up on the notion that you’re her bias already?” San asks, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Where’d that confidence from the plane ride go?”

“Didn’t you know, a person’s bias is most like them, and their wrecker is their ideal type?” Wooyoung proudly repeats the words you told him yesterday.

All eyes are instantly on you.

“Okay, so, who’s your Ateez bias wrecker?” Mingi asks eagerly, leaning forward slightly in his seat.

Again, you laugh. “If I’m not telling you my bias, I’m most certainly not telling you my wreckers.”

Yeosang’s brow quirks, but his face remains neutral for the most part.

“It has to be one of us,” Seonghwa frowns, attempting to figure it all out from everything that you’ve told them so far.

“Oh, I never said there was only one.” You hum, a teasing quirk to your lips. “Oh no, one of you was very adamant about wrecking me in the end.”

“You like multiple of us?” Yeosang’s lips part, ignoring the way his heart leaps hopefully in his chest.

“Of course I like more than one of you,” you giggle. “There are eight of you, after all. It’s quite hard for someone to choose only one. You’re all very beautiful men.”

Quirked eyebrows greet you all around, and your eyes seem to widen in embarrassment. The fact that they all smile at you giddily only makes it worse.

“Wait, please don’t think I’m super shallow and am only talking about your looks when I say that.” You’re quick to add. “Yes, I think you’re all handsome, but I mainly base my decisions on what is known about your personalities and what you show your fans.”

“You think I’m handsome?” Jongho’s eyes absolutely shine beneath the dim lighting of the venue, nothing but awe in his gaze as he looks at you.

“Of course I do.” You smile, and red begins to slowly creep up Jongho’s neck. “Beauty is also very subjective, so who I might find the most visually appealing might not be another person’s answer.”

“As long as you think I’m the most handsome, we shouldn’t have a problem.” A voice from the left side catches your attention, and you turn to see Johnny, Mark, and Yuta moving to sit beside you on the couch. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, John.” You grin, bowing your head politely in greeting to Yuta who smiles back.

“Every day I know you, you break my heart even more.” Johnny sighs dramatically, placing a hand over his chest as he falls backwards on the couch.

“I’ve known you for a day and a half, John.” You blink blankly, somewhat teasingly, causing laughter to erupt around you.

“You’ve only known Mark for that time, too!” He counters.

“Technically speaking, I’ve been talking with Mark for over eight months now.” You reply, fixing the skirt of your dress as you cross your one leg over the other beneath the material.

Yeosang’s eyebrow twitches, leaning forward slightly in his seat to see you better.

“Yeah, she’s my best friend!” Mark grins widely, puffing out his chest slightly as he looks at Johnny. Were it not for the cameras, Yeosang bets anything that the male would have slung an arm around your shoulders by now.

“Yeah, cause you won’t share her contact details with anyone else.” Johnny mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Mark! Right in front of your number one stan?” You gasp dramatically, extending your hand outwards and motioning towards Yuta.

“Normally, I would have to agree with you.” Yuta smirks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he looks at you. “However, I think I can make an exception for our favourite author.”

Your whole body freezes, eyes sparkling as you look towards Yuta. “Favourite author?”

“Yes.” Yuta nods once in confirmation. “And might I just say, you look divine.”

The way your breath hitches in your throat does not go unnoticed by any of them. The fact that you avert your gaze so bashfully while muttering out a small ‘thank you’ has Yeosang’s heart squeezing painfully in his chest. He can hardly prevent the way his lips purse the slightest bit, fingers digging into the skin of his thighs as he grounds himself to his spot for the moment.

Yeosang may not have fully understood what Yuta has just told you, but from the bits he picked up, he’s understood enough. Besides, the bashful way you respond says it all.

A second later, and you’re clearing your throat. “Wait, Mark won’t share my contact details with you? I told him it was fine when he first asked. I just didn’t bring it up again because I thought none of you were interested in talking with me. I didn’t want to push or come across as some weird, obsessed fan who was using connections to get what she wants.”

A pointed look is sent towards Mark by both Johnny and Yuta as the former male begins to shrink in his spot.

“Ah, so Markie Boy has been gatekeeping his pretty author friend this whole time.” Johnny hums, a tight smile pulling across his features.

“I think I need to reassess how much I stan Mark now,” Yuta adds, a teasing grin pulling on his features.

“I’m telling Ten!” Johnny jumps up from the couch, moving back off to where all of NCT is sitting. “And Taeyong! And Kun, and Chenle, and Renjun, and Jeno, and-“

His voice begins to fade as he walks away, but he continues to list off names, nonetheless.

“Get back here!” Mark immediately chases after him, though with the cameras around, it’s more of a speed walking competition as they head back to their own seats for the moment.

Your eyes widen, a snort of amusement escaping you as you watch Johnny slowly going around to each couch to inform the Neos about this recent discovery. Mark attempts in vain to stutter out excuses, but the moment Doyoung pulls him back down onto the couch beside him, it’s clear his efforts are futile.

“Didn’t realize how many Neos wanted to talk to me.” You mumble, turning back around to face the front with a soft smile on your face.

“I know for a fact that it’s more than just the Neos.” Yunho chuckles, motioning back towards both Stray Kids and Seventeen with his head. Two groups of which that sit off to the right of them all right now.

“I still can’t believe it,” you comment, somewhat breathlessly as your eyes are drawn back to the stage in front of you.

Yeosang wants to wipe that flirty smile right off of Yuta’s face as the elder male shifts closer to you on the couch. The second Yeosang sees Yuta take your hands in his own, Yeosang can feel his nails biting into the skin of his legs even harsher than before. Why does he so badly wish that were him?

More than all of that, why do you look so awestruck?

The words Yuta speaks to you are nothing but a loud ringing in Yeosang’s ears, only getting worse when he watches you smile and nod back enthusiastically. You reply something, but that damn white noise drowns everything out. He only wishes he could actually hear what’s being said, but before he knows it, the next performance is starting.

It’s just not fair.

Yeosang is forced to watch as you settle onto the couch with Yuta beside you, a large smile painting your features as you relax into your spot. He really wishes he could enjoy the music, just as you seem to be. Only, he finds that the dull ache of his heart demands to be felt.

Why, suddenly, is it so difficult for him to breathe?

#yandere yeosang #yandere ateez #yandere kpop #yandere au #ateez scenario #ateez imagines #yeosang scenarios #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #ateez x reader #chubby reader #tall reader #kpop scenario #kpop imagines #kpop au

[tsukimefuku]

Right, wrong and the in-between (Epilogue)

Previous chapter

You and Higuruma were assigned to investigate the disappearance of women around Shinjuku. This led to a dicey situation regarding what place Jujutsu sorcerers occupy in this world and what is their role to play when non-sorcerers get involved.

This is part of my "Jujutsu Partners Canon Divergence AU". There is currently a sequence of short stories and random drabbles for a fic I'll eventually write (eventually). To see the ever-growing list of one-shots, please visit my masterlist :)  The "Right, wrong and the in-between" will be a 4 (maybe 3) part short-story set in this AU. I hope you enjoy! The tags below will be applicable to every chapter.

Tags: oc/f!reader, soft/implied Higuruma x reader, soft/implied Nanami x reader, slow burn, DARK HUMOR AHEAD, SO MUCH FLUFF AND HURT+COMFORT HERE, just characters being themselves driving the plot (and me) insane. Some philosophical debate will be in place.

WC: 1.9k

Ijichi took Higuruma to Jujutsu Tech, and you and Nanami decided to hit a bar before going back. You were both seated beside each other at the main counter. After using reverse cursed technique on your face, you stood there, pathetically, holding a bag of ice to your swollen cheek. Everyone that walked past the both of you was giving Nanami the stink eye as he downed his glass of whiskey.

"Nanami, are we in a domestic dispute situation, or are you my pimp?" You asked, looking at him with a wide grin on your face, just waiting for the show that joke would certainly elicit.

He almost choked with his own drink, and even if he usually had the same stoic expression to his face most of the time, something about it right now said flabbergasted. "There are times you're incredibly inappropriate. Your jests are quickly becoming worse than Gojo's". He scolded you, and you chuckled.

"My trauma, my coping mechanisms." You retorted, taking a big gulp of your beer. He sighed heavily.

"What happened while you were captive?" He asked, lowering his voice. He knew you were prone to shove things deep down and never letting them out, covering it all with sarcastic commentary about your own life.

"If you're asking me if that happened, no, it didn't. They just hit me in the face pretty fucking hard." You scoffed, looking at your reflection in the mirror that sat behind the bottles of liquor. "Pieces of shit."

"I see."

"Hey, Nanami." You spoke lightly. "I want to thank you."

He didn't turn his face to look at you, but you could see his eyes rolling your way now that he had his glasses off. "What for?"

"For saving me. I mean... Saving me from myself." You completed, downing your own beer. "If it weren't for you, I mean-" you choked up a little, "just, thank you."

" you must be aware of the fact that I won't be there to guide you most of the times you see yourself in a similar situation. Therefore, you cannot expect me to be your moral compass. You need to learn to do that by yourself, and for yourself." He added, matter-of-factly.

You grunted. "Ugh, I know!" You put the ice bag back on the counter. "It's just that... The job description was exorcising curses and fighting curse users. There was none of this ethically challenged shenanigans in the tiny disclaimers."

Nanami ordered another whiskey. "Exorcizing curses comprises most of the job description, but things tend to get dicey when we're dealing with curse users and victims." He sighed, now turning his face to look directly at you. "You were one of my dicey cases, and it definitely took a toll on me years ago."

Gazing back at him, you felt your heart break all over again. "I know."

You both locked eyes for a while, and stayed like that until your gaze involuntarily drifted to his lips. He seemed to notice and started to say your name, but you quickly looked down at the counter and grabbed the bag of ice, putting it over your flushed face as your heart began pounding in your ears.

“Nanami, come and have a drink with me and Higuruma. I really think you guys should get along.” You interjected, out of the blue, shoving the discomfort away.

He scoffed. “It’s an offer I’ll happily refuse.”

“Come on, it’s important!” You started pouting.

“Oh, how unfortunate then.” Nanami retorted.

“Nanami, please, I’m really trying to be serious here. The man saved my life.”

“And then proceeded to endanger it. Twice.” He said nonchalantly taking a sip of his whiskey.

“Well, this time it wasn’t entirely his fault. I’m the one who decided we should go in the club to follow the curse user. There was no way we could’ve known she had a cursed speech technique.”

Nanami sighed heavily. “If my thinking is correct, you’ll keep persisting until I go with you?”

“You thought correctly!” You replied with fake enthusiasm.

He grunted. “Okay, but you’ll be paying for tonight’s drinks.”

“Eh?! Seriously?!”

“Yes,” he bottomed down his whiskey, “terribly.”

***

You were wearing a backpack to make the beers you were sneaking in more discreet. Nanami walked directly behind, not believing he let himself be dragged into this tomfoolery by you. As both got to Higuruma's room door, you knocked excitedly. He promptly opened the door, smiling at you. The glow and smile on his face disappeared, however, as soon as he saw Nanami.

"It was her idea." Nanami said, instantly.

"Come on, guys. Truce, unity, peace, just for tonight. We all had a terrible day." You said, waltzing into the room, followed by a hesitant Nanami. Higuruma had to hold his impulse to close the door in order to only letting you in.

You sat on the bed, and Higuruma sat beside you. Nanami pulled the chair from the desk and settled down comfortably, crossing his legs. You pulled your backpack and opened it, revealing multiple cans of beer stuffed inside. After giving one to Nanami and another to Higuruma, you grabbed your own beer and opened it. "Here's to not getting fucked by curses, curse users or Jujutsu High!"

"Preach." Higuruma said, as he clicked his can to yours.

Nanami silently lifted his can and took a sip, making a disapproval grimace. "It's warm."

"You surely drank worse." You said.

He sighed and looked sideways. Nanami might not have been pouting physically, but spiritually, he surely was.

***

A few beers in and you all had flustered faces, feeling more at ease after that dreadful day.

"Hey, Higuruma. I have something funny to tell you." You told him.

"Brace yourselves, here we go." Nanami noted, putting his empty beer can away and grabbing another.

"What is it?" Higuruma questioned.

"Did you know Jujutsu High absolutely hates my family?" You said.

"Do they? Why?" He asked, genuinely interested.

"No fucking idea. Something about two people killing each other many centuries ago, and now it somehow became my problem. Can you believe it?!" You answered, chuckling.

"Well, isn't that the entire history of humanity?" He retorted. You laughed harder.

"Oh, they tried to pin some mishaps on me, then Gojo had to come and save my sorry ass!" You cackled.

"How about this: two months ago, I was ready to begin planning my retirement, and now I'm fighting demon looking creatures and have a death sentence hanging over my head?" Higuruma said, as he started laughing himself.

You both were silent for a few seconds, and then began to cackle hysterically. Nanami covered his face, but he wasn't sighing. He was trying to contain his own urge to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

"We shouldn't be laughing at this!" You said, in between cackles, nearly out of breath, drying the tears that were streaming down your face.

"No, we shouldn't." Higuruma had his face covered by his hand. There was a certain desperation to his own laughter.

"You are both completely insane." Nanami said, uncovering his face. He did not notice yet, but he was smiling. It was amusing seeing you and Higuruma sharing a single brain cell, after all.

As the laughter subsided, Higuruma looked at Nanami, with a loose mouth from alcohol.

"Why are you such a rule follower?" Higuruma asked, pointing at Nanami.

Nanami sighed and grabbed another can of beer. "Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a fan of the way they run things here. But having some order with a proportional amount of sacrifice is better than to have nothing at all." He sipped on the beer, not feeling the off temperature anymore. "Many times, they fall into unfairness, but the system in place has helped save countless people."

Nanami then paused and pointed at the other man. "You, Higuruma, for that matter, is one of those people. You could’ve been arrested and tried for the judge’s and prosecutor’s murders, and even though I’m not an attorney, I believe you wouldn’t be sentenced lightly. Yet, you’re here, looking directly at the prospect of future freedom just some weeks later."

You and Higuruma were silent, for Nanami was absolutely correct.

"The rules aren’t perfect, but they’re what we have for the time being, until something better comes along." Nanami completed.

"Those same rules, however, turned my life into a living nightmare, Nanami." You noted.

"I know. I remember it all very clearly, and that was when I decided that whatever we had in place was simply not good enough if it lead to such injustice against people we should be protecting." He sipped on his beer again. "Your case was the reason I left years ago."

Higuruma was curious, but didn't ask about it.

"I remember." You replied, holding yourself to not go into that dark place of your mind. "I’m glad you came back, though. You’re a fine jujutsu sorcerer and a good, decent person. We need more people like you in the world of jujutsu."

The corners of Nanami's mouth perked up slightly, as he put his last empty beer can on top of the desk. He then got up and looked at you both. "I have to go, it's late, and I have not only drank way more than I'm accustomed to, I also need a decent night of sleep."

"Weakling!" You said, pouting, as he began exiting the room.

"You’re starting to sound like Gojo." Nanami retorted.

"Aw, thank you." You sarcastically replied.

Nanami sighed. "It was not a compliment. Good night, everyone." He concluded as he left, closing the door behind him.

"Good night." Higuruma said, waving Nanami away.

"Wait a second." You told Higuruma as you got out of the room right after. Nanami turned back to look at you, waiting for you to say something.

"He’s not a bad person," you said. Nanami sighed. "Do you hate him a little less, at least?"

He inhaled deeply and looked at you. "Give it time." Nanami answered.

"Fine." You smiled at him. "See you tomorrow?"

He properly smiled back, which was a rare occurrence. "See you tomorrow." Nanami finally said as he made his way out of the building.

You went back in the room and sat on the ground, trying to fish inside the backpack for any can of beer that could still be untouched. Higuruma eyed you up and down, and decided to scratch the itch that had tormented him ever since he knew you asked Gojo to have his death sentence suspended.

"Why did you give me the benefit of the doubt then? Why did you tell me to escape and decided to save my life?" Higuruma asked.

You sighed, disappointed to learn the three of you had drank all the beers, and started talking. "Because if I found myself in the same circumstances you were in when you killed those people, I can’t say I would’ve done any differently than what you did. I mean, hell, this was evident today." You shrugged. "I needed Nanami to hold me back, or else... Or else I might’ve become the next Higuruma they’d put a death sentence on the head."

"Nonsense!" Higuruma said, jokingly. "You’re much prettier and my nose is much bigger."

You laughed and gave a little bump on his shoulder with your fist.

"We, the rebellious, need rule abiding people in our lives to keep us from tripping over the edge, huh?" He pointed out.

You chuckled at the irony of it. "Yes, we definitely do. And I guess they need us to remind them that some rules need to be overturned, every now and then."

"What a delicate balance to achieve." Higuruma said.

"Yes. But it’s worth it." You replied.

"I hope so."

End notes: I was so OBSESSED writing this one short story I literally could not sleep until I finished it. Well, here we are, 8.3K (!!!) words later. I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it (it was a blast!).

Fuku-chan 🦉

#jujutsu kaisen higuruma #higuruma x reader #jjk higuruma #jjk hiromi #hiromi x reader #higuruma hiromi #jjk imagines #jjk drabbles #jjk x you #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #jjk nanami #jjk fanfic #nanami x reader #nanami x you