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greybackpack · 9 months

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I’m still thinking about Tilda and her relations to my version of Elisabet. Like, you don’t get a lot about how Lis felt other than disappointment and anger about Tilda’s possible involvement in stealing a copy of GAIA. I mean she said she didn’t… but she’s also a spy. And like that voice explaining Zero Dawn in the old Zenith base of operations sounded like a modulated version of Tilda’s voice- the way it pauses and drawls out the vowels is the same, I think. Just deeper? Modulated, perhaps?

Like there’s no way Lis actually believed she didn’t. She knows better than anyone what how cunning Tilda is and how intelligent and savvy she is with manipulating people. It makes her a great spy, but perhaps not a great person. And she’s had time to cook.

Like, how did they break up? Why? Was it amicable?

Tilda spent a thousand years regretting it and regretting that she left Lis behind… but what did Lis feel? Does she still hold some affection for Tilda? When she realizes Tilda’s fucked up (BETA, I’M STILL PISSED ABOUT HOW BADLY THE ZENITHS FUCKED BETA UP) and the extent of the damage, what would happen?

Did she also regret it? Did she think that Tilda helped with the betrayal? Anyways, here’s a possible snippet for the far (heh) future of the fic:

Elisabet stood there, facing her past in a way she hadn’t thought possible. Hadn’t thought will ever be possible again.

She had thought this chapter- this relationship- of her life was closed. When Aloy had recounted her experience in the facility, Elisabet hadn’t truly thought about the implications outside the mind numbing fact that she has another clone-daughter. But then she had met Beta, and it was okay, better than okay, that she had another daughter.

And then there’s this. This- her- there she is, floating in the air and looking as stunned as Lis herself feels. Tilda van de Meer.

“Elisabet?”

God, even the sound of her voice back bittersweet memories. All of those coffee dates and the art galleries and science expos… and the moment Tilda broke her heart. Elisabet swallows, remembering the way Tilda had looked her in the eyes and told her that it couldn’t work out- that it won’t ever work- because of the nature of Tilda’s job. The lie in her eyes and that tremor in her steady hands, Elisabet saw them.

“How is this possible?” Tilda whispers, white clad and shimmery arms armored with the Far Zenith shields reaching out to Elisabet. She stops halfway, as if she’s afraid that Elisabet will disappear the moment Tilda touches her.

“Cryo.” Elisabet says, still staring at Tilda. For the Old One, if she can even claim that title anymore, it has only been two, three years, since they broke things off. Lis hadn’t had time to grieve that relationship properly, having avoided the grief by throwing herself into work and fending off Ted’s lawsuits. Then, the Faro Plague happened… and she barely had time to grieve what she thought was Tilda’s death when it was reported that the ship had blown up on the way to Sirius.

Why are all of her exes so damn beautiful?

The Voice croons in restrained amusement, presence warming Elisabet’s back as the Old One straightens and draws herself up for a long over due conversation.

“That’s- That’s wonderful. I-” Tilda hesitantly, reverently, took Lis’ hands in hers. Elisabet let her, knowing she shouldn’t but all the same wanting the familiar touch. “Elisabet, I spent- I spent the last thousand years regretting how we ended. I regretted leaving you here to die with the rest of them and how we left things back then. But now… now, I get to have a second chance.”

Elisabet wants- she-

Elisabet rips her hands out of Tilda’s grasp.

“I don’t want to hear it. I- I thought you died.”

“The… the transmission.” Tilda’s voice gains a modicum of hope. “That wasn’t my idea, but they had thought it necessary. I thought you died, too. You should have come with us, then, then you wouldn’t have had to be frozen for a millennia.”

“That’s rich, coming from you. What was it, Tilda? The thing that you said when we broke things off? Oh, right, that “the nature of my work will make this difficult.” Well, the nature of my work made it difficult.” Her tone is bitter, twisted in hurt and heartbreak. It makes Tilda flinch.

A part of Elisabet, that unkind part she finds in herself in her darkest moments, purrs in satisfaction.

“Lis, you know that I hadn’t meant it like that-”

“No?” Elisabet shoots back, mouth pulling down. Aloy inches away from the two, the rest of the group watching the exchange like a riveting match of machine strike. Sylens rolls his eyes and wanders off into the lab. Elisabet sees all of this, but it doesn’t matter to her. All she saw was the woman that had broken her heart over and over again. “Even if it wasn’t what you meant, you still chose to leave, Tilda. To preserve yourself, if nothing else. You were scared, of how serious we were getting.”

Tilda laces her unfairly elegant fingers together, voice quiet as she agrees. “Yes… I suppose I was.”

“Didn’t you think, for one second, that I was afraid too?”

“… No. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“You betrayed me. You tried to steal GAIA. You lied to me about it. I saw the recording of the reception at the Far Zenith headquarters. I know what your voice sounds like, even if it was modulated.”

The words spill out, faster and more hurt than Aloy had ever heard.

“Lis-” Tilda floats closer, but Elisabet takes a step back. “I- won’t do it this time. I know… I know I disappointed you. I know I broke your heart.”

The Zenith swallows as Elisabet’s heavy gaze landed once more on her face, hurt and disappointment hitting Tilda like a hammer on cold metal. Elisabet’s quiet voice slides in between her ribs, stabbing at Tilda’s slow beating heart and splintering it.

“You chose yourself. Above the world… above me.”

“Please, Elisabet, allow me another chance.”

Elisabet laughs a short, mirthless exhale.

“Even now, you still haven’t even thought to apologize.”

“I’m sorry.” Tilda immediately says. “What can I do? What can I do to apologize? To make it up to you? Anything, Lis. Name it, and it’s yours.”

Elisabet grits her teeth, Tilda’s words reminding her unpleasantly of Ted. But if her relationship with Tilda had taught her anything, it’s that she can use this. Elisabet hates herself for thinking it, but her worry for Beta overrides any moral obligations she might have had.

“Get my daughter back,” she says. “And I’ll think about it.”

“Okay. Alright. Just- I will.”

Elisabet stares at Tilda, at the determined, desperate set of her old flame’s shoulders.

Because she’s not hurt enough, because Lis had hurt more, Elisabet couldn’t help but throw her words into Tilda’s face.

“If the Odyssey actually blew up, I think you would have been worth the tears I shed.”

With that, Elisabet hardens her heart once more and turns away. She doesn’t see the devastation that crosses Tilda’s face, nor does she see the way it crumples from the normally impassive face Tilda sports.

—-

Aloy leans against the table, watching Elisabet absently sifting through data.

“You alright?”

Even though Aloy gentled her voice, Elisabet still startles like a rabbit.

“Ah. Sorry you had to see that, kiddo.” Her mother sends a rueful smile her way. Aloy shrugs, all but silently shaking Elisabet and asking if she’s okay with her eyes alone.

“I’m okay.” Elisabet smiles again, a little more genuine this time. “I’m just worried.”

“About Beta and GAIA?” Aloy asks, nodding. “Don’t worry, I’ll get them back.”

“And about you too, silly.” Elisabet rounds the table and pulls Aloy into a hug.

“Make sure you come back,” she orders her daughter, chin resting on Aloy’s armored shoulders. Not the best for hugs, but Elisabet could give less of a fuck right now. “I want both of you to come back safe and sound, understand?”

“Yeah.” Aloy hugs her back. Elisabet squeezes her daughter tighter, and lets go. “I’ll be okay.”

“You’d better be. If you scare me like that ever again,” - the image of Aloy, pale and injured after the explosion flashes through Lis’ head. “Just- don’t, okay, sweetie?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” Aloy guiltily apologizes, remembering the exhausted state Elisabet was in, looking after her with little sleep. The drawn face coupled with the dark smudges underneath her mother’s eyes had Aloy making sure she was a little more careful on the field.

Elisabet presses a kiss on her forehead, patting the Nora huntress on the shoulder.

“And be careful around Tilda. She’s still- she’s good, at fooling people into thinking she’s on their side.”

“Speaking from experience, mom?”

“Yes,” she sighs, smiling at Aloy’s blatant curiosity. “I’ll tell you later. But, if we’re being honest, I think you have a better eye for figuring out those kinds of deception than I ever was.”

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