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twig-tea · 2 months

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Perfect Propose: A few final thoughts

There is a melancholy to this series because it’s about a romance but it’s also about breaking out of external and internal barriers holding you back from happiness.

Hiro’s work situation was such an incredible representation of what it feels like to work in a workplace that is out to exploit every second of your time and never thank you for it. I really loved that the show is clear about how people enable their own exploitation in these environments, and how often people don’t leave because they need the idea that their life will be better when they finally do quit, and they’re afraid it isn’t true so they’d rather stay with the devil they know [it's me, I'm people].

I loved Kai finding his way to Hiro when he was at his lowest, and going from a guy who was afraid to ask for anything or make any kind of mark on Hiro’s life, to putting up a wind chime decoration and building a hydroponic vegetable system and asking Hiro to come home to him every night.

Kai’s arc wasn’t as strong or as detailed as Hiro’s, but it was important to the story. Kai has always recognized Hiro's kindness in asking for something from Kai rather than offering something to Kai--Kai has always felt useless but Hiro gave him purpose, as a kid and again as an adult. But Kai needed to learn to want things for himself, something Hiro noticed and encouraged him to do. And when Hiro misses their festival date and realized he’d let Kai down, he offers to make it up to him in two ways (committing to the tomato growing, which was a short-term but tangible commitment to Kai, and agreeing to share a bed), which helped bring them closer together and helped Kai get bolder, sending Hiro those images of the food he was missing to help him continue to want to be home.

Kai got to see Hiro more vulnerable, and feel more wanted, and then got the apology from the old restaurant owner’s son. But when he heard that his presence had held the restaurant owner back from moving in with his son, he took it the wrong way, and defaulted back to thinking he’s a burden who puts the people he loves at risk just by virtue of being there. [There was a kernel of truth in there about how Kai, in making Hiro’s life a little better, also was enabling him to stay longer in that awful job, but he couldn’t see how he was also giving Hiro a reason to quit it.]

And at the end, when the typical Japanese Run For Your Love failed (which I really enjoyed), the words that got through to Kai were heartbreaking. Hiro doesn’t tell Kai he’s a good presence in his life; he’s already done that and he knows it wouldn’t get through anyway, because he knows Kai. Instead, he reminds Kai that Hiro’s life was already empty and meaningless, so Kai couldn’t possibly make it any worse. He made himself and a relationship with him feel safe. I have been sitting with this all day and it still makes me devastated every time I think about it for more than 30 seconds. Kai made home a place Hiro wanted to be enough that he could actually come home, and Hiro made home safe enough that Kai felt like he could stay there without being afraid he’d ruin it.

Would I have wanted more of these two together? Absolutely, I could watch Hiro and Kai together for triple this runtime easy. But for me, this show used its time incredibly well and ends in the perfect place. I have enough with what we got to see exactly how they got from where we leave them to how we see them in the show opening credits.

Enough to know they’re going to be ok.

#perfect propose #bl meta #typed so that i can stop thinking it

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sokosmic · 2 years

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How Saturn Spanks:

Saturn thru the Houses

While Saturn also rewards, the intent of this post is to highlight how the planet of discipline shows up in your life and may cause difficulties based on its house placement in your chart.

Saturn 1st House -

🪐 Clear identification of self. Self expression. Trouble asserting oneself. Controlling the ego. Putting self first. Lack of drive or motivation. Repressed aggression.

Saturn 2nd House -

🪐 Acquiring money. Lack of finances or financial gain. Overspending. Difficulty with self-worth. Hoarding or collecting useless possessions. Scarcity. Difficulty in business related things.

Saturn 3rd House -

🪐 Writer's block. Focused concentration. Depression. Speech impediment. Learning disabilities. Estranged with siblings and/or cousins. Conflicts or nonexistent communication with neighbors. Car troubles. Carpal tunnel. Restricted to hometown or seldom travel.

Saturn 4th House -

🪐 Daddy issues. Absent father. Cold or strict mother. Strict upbringing. Emotionally repressed. Lack of family. Rigid family values. Disciplined homelife. Modest or poor living arrangements. Trouble acquiring real estate. Troubles with real estate property.

Saturn 5th House -

🪐 Difficulty with casual dating. Prefers serious relationships. Trouble discovering talents, gifts, and creative abilities. Difficulty having children or may be a strict parent. Severe consequences from gambling or risk taking. Lack of confidence. Trouble relaxing and having fun.

Saturn 6th House -

🪐 Health issues, particularly with the gut. Lack of routine or organization. Loss of pets. Trouble finding work. Overworking. Strict or rigid work environment. Overthinking. Anxiety.

Saturn 7th House -

🪐 Marriage may come later in life. Difficulty maintaining relationships or partnerships. Relationships feel like a heavy responsibility. Trouble with contracts. Difficulty seeing or relating to all sides. Attracts older partners. Karmic lessons in partnerships.

Saturn 8th House -

🪐 Delays in inheritances. Will work very hard for other people's money. May experience issues with taxes. Inhibited sexuality. Fears surrounding the occult. Difficulty with intimacy. Fear of connecting at deep soul levels. Fear of death, but often live long lives.

Saturn 9th House -

🪐 Rigid ideas, worldview, or philosophy on life. Lack of travel. Difficulty with higher learning or secondary education. Riches or abundance may come much later in life. May feel the father restricted their ability to seek and obtain wisdom and knowledge.

Saturn 10th House -

🪐 Although Saturn is at home here and typically well positioned, it can cause a delay in career. Lots of responsibilities placed on native in the workplace. Public image or reputation may suffer from scandal. Difficulties with authority. Knee problems.

Saturn 11th House -

🪐 May suffer from loneliness. Friends are far and few. Very selective with establishing friends. May feel rejected from friend groups or an outcast of society. Fear of fulfilling one's dreams. Shy and reserved.

Saturn 12th House -

🪐 Unexplainable fears rooted in the subconscious. Isolating oneself from the collective. May experience blocks with spiritual growth or in one's imagination and creative talents. Problems with the feet, particularly the bones.

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drbased · 3 days

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Does it ever make you ever feel depressed that men have more variation in IQ? That means even though there will always be more male idiots, there will also be more male geniuses. So women can excel in any field, but a man will almost always be the "best" in it. It just makes me feel inferior every time I think about it, way more than strength difference does. Not only that, but they also have higher variation in all types of brain structure. That would mean men are naturally more diverse, personality-wise.

Sometimes I get into these negative thought processes about stupid shit and it totally consumes me. This is my latest one... Please help

Hmm.

Well firstly, IQ is a completely fake concept designed specifically for eugenicist purposes. You can train for an IQ test, your score can change depending on the day, and your score doesn’t mean anything apart from how good you are at IQ tests. It’s not a measure of intelligence, and ‘intelligence’ isn’t real anyway - as in, there is no such quality of uniform intelligence. I think it stands to reason that the highest IQ scores will be from men, because the tests are constructed around a fundamentally male world-view and value system as well as a white one. And that is what depresses me more - that ‘intelligence’ is viewed as some innate quality that only oppressors can possess so they can prove that they deserve their place in a meritocracy. It’s like that controversy about men winning more at Jeopardy than women - the world is structured around male interests and values, so men achieve in mainstream contests and use that to retroactively justify the legitimacy of those values and interests in the culture.

I’m less interested in the concept of a man beating a woman at certain activities because of him being smarter than her, than I am about him beating her because he's socialised from a young age into enjoying and valuing those activities - but also often regardless of his actual performance, he's also by default assumed to be better and more competent than her purely because he's a man. Take for example that study where when they did blind auditions for orchestras, men still got in more than women, but when they put carpeting down so women's heels couldn't be heard, there was finally a more equal ratio of women getting in. Or those studies where identical CVs given out and names that are typical of women, black people etc. get seen as less competent than those with male and white names.

We don't live in a world where we can objectively measure men's 'natural' abilities at anything psychological. But we do live in a world where we know that women's skills are massively undervalued - women have all sorts of intelligences that make the world run round; we're excellent negotiators, we're less violent, we're great at remembering, we have greater compassion, we make good leaders, we are more responsible, we have greater tact, we are safer in the workplace, we're more conscious of social issues and the environment, etc. etc. And none of what we have is seen as 'intelligence'; in fact, quite the opposite - many of our intelligences are dismissed outright as sentimentality and pearl-clutching.

Once again, though, I don't believe these traits are uniform across all women, or that they're 'natural' to us, just as men's traits aren't 'natural' to them. In the nature-nurture debate, there are too many factors in nurture that can't be realistically measured - and I have a suspicion that for many, feminists included, simply saying that men and women naturally possess certain traits is an easier narrative to swallow, because for many women the fear exists that if men can be socialised to be better, then dismissing them as evil would be morally wrong. But I don't think people need to be intrinsically, ontologically evil for us to dismiss them as oppressors - I simply judge by behaviour, which is more measurable.

Going back to intelligence, I think it's also worth saying here that women are socialised into not recognised or appreciating our skills, and to partake in behaviours that psychologically hobble us. Take for example in that orchestra study - under a feminist lens, wearing heels is a form of hobbling that's both literal and psychological. The woman is performing a feminine ritual, wearing a physically debilitating item that submissively marks her as a woman. Not to say that she would be respected more if she was gnc, but I find it interesting how women accidentally lost their spot on the orchestra in the study because their performative clothing made them noisier and easier to recognise as women. And on top of that, we have stereotype threat - there was a study done where men and women were performing some sort of test, and in one half they were in normal clothes, and the second they were in swimwear. In the second one, women performed more poorly than they did in the first, and men saw no change. Once again, we have two inexorably interlinked factors at play, here - women's swimwear is not built for utility but rather to be sexy, and women's bodies are considered inherently sexual; that's not to say that if women were wearing men's swimwear they'd do better at the test, but rather women are socialised to be self-conscious of themselves but also expected to show more skin - we're expected to dumb ourselves down in the name of being sexy.

The upside in all of this is that the moment you recognise that these things aren't set in stone, and rather that these are all skills you can develop if you gain confidence in yourself, you develop a robust sense of self that you can be comfortable and happy with regardless of external measure of male-approved success. I, for example, found confidence in myself and my writing, and now I'm finding success and getting praise online by women on tumblr. It seems you're best finding yourself environments surrounded by other women, especially feminist-minded women who are consciously choosing to fight against established biases by valuing the skills of women that are undervalued by society. Devaluing male interests and achievements in your own head is something you can also do, and I once again recommend feminist spaces as an excellent opportunity to de-program (obligatory plug for my side blog @learningwomanhood where I do exactly that).

For me, the biggest wisdom to be gained from feminism is the psychological distancing yourself from male thought - the more things you reject that you once unthinkingly believed to be normal, the more you feel that you can truly be human, vibrant, unconstrained; and the more silly the whole enterprise of patriarchy looks. It's not nice that rejecting patriarchy means rejecting mainstream society, but the older you get the more you realise that you simply can't dwell on these things and instead have to do what benefits you within it; nobody is owed a perfect existence, and once you realise that you have to choose a life for yourself and choose to be happy with that, your life will be much more comfortable. In the end, life is all about the gestures of love you make to yourself and others. When you realise that it's your job to be your own best friend, you can carry that energy with you your whole life; you will be inpenetrable because all that matters to you, no matter what situation you're going through or what hell you're in, is that you made decisions that showed love to yourself. That could be considered a form of intelligence - perhaps wisdom itself is a form of intelligence that is devalued specifically because it's female-coded. But wisdom sounds like nothing until you internalise it - all the language in the world can't seem to really get to its essence until something inside you clicks and you understand it.

One thing I would like to say is that those negative thought processes you have are not stupid: they are a valuable part of your processing of the world and are worth attention. We have this cultural idea that with regards to mental health, the parts of us that are 'real' and 'valid' and 'truly us' are all the good parts, and the negative thought processes and patterns of behaviour are like cancerous tumours that need to be artifically removed. One of the best things I ever did for myself is to take myself seriously - because that's my prerogative, as myself and my own best friend. The only thing 'bad' thing about those thought processes is that they cause you distress; that's it. So, then, it's up to you to decide how much you want to indulge in them. I find the best way to really tackle unpleasant behavioural patterns is to simply do them shamelessly, because clearly a part of you wants to do them anyway; one of the first ways I got out of my depressive spirals was to decide that I was going to do all the depressive actions (stay in bed, eat junk food etc.) but simply embrace that those are things I want to do and not feel guilty or sad about it. That way, the depression hasn't consumed me and instead I have made a choice - I have reformed my relationship with myself as an active agent and a made a choice to show love for myself through the gesture of taking my desires seriously, not dismissing them as 'mentally ill'. I could go on but the point is that all of your head is necessarily you - as in, it doesn't come from anywhere else but you, and therefore all of it should be respected and valued. Mainstream society won't tell you that - there's always supposed to be a limit, there's always something that's 'unhealthy' in some sort of metaphysical sense, there's always a part of you that's supposed to be beholden to some external standard, that keeps you feeling insecure and needing validation. But there is no true objective measure of a healthy mind; the only thing that matters is if you're comfortable with yourself, and you can always make gestures of love to yourself regardless of your situation.

#my writing #anon #theory posting #wisdom posting

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my-autism-adhd-blog · 5 months

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Hello lovely,

What are the pros and cons of pursuing a diagnosis?

I think I have autism (32 on the AQ, 139 on the CAT-Q, 157 on the RAADS-R, and 133 on the Aspie Quiz v5) but I'm a very high-masking gifted/honors/AP girl and I worry it will have more cons bc of poor societal acceptance then it will have pros : (

I mentioned my concerns to my primary care doctor and she really quickly dismissed them (I didn't mention the tests I did, just that I had a lot of traits/issues typical of autism) and I'm worried that trying to get help or anything will be a long hard uphill battle. Fortunately I am getting seen for sleep issues soon which are my worst problem but yeah

Thanks for your counsel

- 💙🌹

Hi there,

There are many pros and cons when it comes to getting an autism diagnosis. Here’s some from helpfulminds.co.uk

Advantages of Adult Autism Diagnosis:

1. Self-understanding and identity: Receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult can provide a profound sense of self-understanding. It validates personal experiences and challenges, helping individuals make sense of their differences. It offers a framework through which they can explore their unique strengths, interests, and areas of difficulty, leading to greater self-acceptance and personal growth.

2. Access to appropriate support and accommodations: An adult autism diagnosis opens doors to various resources and support services. It enables individuals to access specialised therapies, counselling, and tailored interventions. It may also qualify them for workplace accommodations, such as flexible schedules, task modifications, or a supportive work environment. These support systems can enhance well-being, foster independence, and improve overall quality of life.

3. Connection and community: Obtaining an autism diagnosis can provide a pathway to connecting with others who share similar experiences. Joining support groups, online communities or participating in autism advocacy networks can foster a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation. These connections often offer invaluable emotional support, shared experiences, and practical advice.

4. Enhanced relationships and communication: Understanding one’s autistic traits can lead to improved personal and professional relationships. It helps individuals communicate their needs and preferences effectively, reducing misunderstandings and promoting better understanding among friends, family members, and colleagues. With increased self-awareness, individuals can build stronger connections and cultivate healthier interactions.

Disadvantages of Adult Autism Diagnosis:

1. Emotional impact: Receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult can trigger a range of emotions, including relief, validation, but also grief or regret. Some individuals may experience a sense of loss for the opportunities they feel they missed or the difficulties they faced due to a lack of understanding. The process can be emotionally challenging and require support to navigate.

2. Stigma and societal perceptions: Unfortunately, despite growing awareness, Autism is still surrounded by stigma and misconceptions. Disclosure of an adult autism diagnosis can lead to potential discrimination, prejudice, or social exclusion. Society’s limited understanding of Autism may hinder employment, education, or social integration opportunities. This lack of acceptance emphasises the need for broader awareness and education.

3. Limited diagnostic resources and accessibility: Obtaining an autism diagnosis as an adult can be challenging due to limited diagnostic resources and professionals specialising in adult assessments. Waiting times and financial constraints may present significant barriers for those seeking a diagnosis. This lack of accessibility may lead to delayed self-understanding and hinder access to vital support services.

Seeking an autism diagnosis as an adult has advantages and disadvantages. While the diagnosis can offer self-understanding, access to support, and a sense of community, it may also evoke complex emotions and expose individuals to societal stigma. It is important to weigh these factors and consider personal circumstances before pursuing a diagnosis. Regardless of whether one receives an official diagnosis, fostering acceptance and embracing neurodiversity can contribute to a more inclusive and understanding society.

The full article will be below. There are even more pros and cons, so those are just examples. I recommend researching for more to make up your mind.

I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is temporarily closed

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cerisesakurainspring · 2 months

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Aakashi Keiji x Reader

~~A warm place to come home to~~

The black-out curtain in the compact room did a splendid job hiding the early afternoon sun rays.

The dark room, lit only by a lamp, seemed to suggest that the day had passed, and the time on the digital clock sitting atop the desk was the only indication that night had yet to come.

Akaashi rested his head and arms at his work table, eyes closed, and his right hand still grasped a pen. He must have racked his brains for an idea and closed his eyes briefly to think clearly, but the exhaustion may have been far too overwhelming that he eventually drifted to sleep.

His days off this week were not much like one, for he ended up doing work at home anyway. The recent days have been a whirlwind of deadlines for your husband, and the chaotic state of his home office is a testament to that.

Three coffee mugs rested on the desk, two empty and one half-drunk, lying cold and unfinished. The work surface that would have typically been organized was adorned with stacks of manuscripts. Piles of books lay lazily on the floor. Sticky notes in bright shades of pink, blue, and green decorated the wall and computer, appearing to be the works of a child sticking out random scribbled papers for fun.

These busy times made him quite a paradoxical man. Akaashi is efficient in all aspects of his life and is a disciplined person by nature. However, since he became an editor for a shonen manga, his methodical way of doing things was often challenged, leaving him disorganized but still surprisingly orderly and systematic in his own way.

Your husband must be deep in slumber because your presence did not awaken his usual light-sleeping self. The indigo blanket behind his chair hung low, and you grabbed it to wrap around his slumped shoulders.

He must have felt the weight and comfort of the quilt as you saw him stir a little in his sleep, tipping the glasses on his closed eyes into an awkward position. You gently removed the frames from his alluring face and kissed his temple softly before turning off the lamp on the desk.

He had skipped his lunch today, but you did not want to interrupt his much-needed rest, so you carefully left the room to cook an early dinner meal. Once the door was closed, you walked across the familiar hallway adorned with photos of you and your husband, smiling along the way until you reached the kitchen.

The mossy green paint on the cabinets, the wooden floor, and the white-marbled granite countertops gave the kitchen a homely vibe. It was the one place that you and Akaashi spent the most time in as meaningful chatters filled the air during your late-night dinners and early breakfasts.

You loved cooking and always ensured there was a warm, fulfilling meal to welcome him home from work, hoping it would ease the stress of his high-pressure working environment.

Despite being busy at work, he always stayed connected with you. Even in your dating years, he remembered to send you messages of affection despite the time constraints at his workplace.

In the midst of the turbulent hurricane of deadline madness, you were Akaashi's anchor, keeping him at ease. He thinks you would probably never understand the depth of his love for you, but he still showers you with affection and care every day.

It's probably not healthy for the heart to always melt in ecstasy, but neither of you cared and continued to bask in it. The turmoil you went through before marriage was well worth the effort and sacrifices.

By the time you finished cooking for dinner, it was only a quarter to 6 p.m., and the sun was beginning to descend on the horizon.

While preparing the cutleries, you felt a strong pair of arms envelope your waist.

"Dinner smells nice," the man said in a muffled voice. His warm breath tickled as he snuggled his nose around your collarbone, and the sudden flurry of stimulation made you giggle in delight.

"How was your nap?" You untangled your husband's arms briefly so you could face him. As he encased you in a hug once more, you could not help but notice the faint lines of tiredness etching below his sapphire eyes.

Your hands reach up towards his temple to start massaging them, and a relieved hum escapes his supple lips. He fluttered his eyes closed, and you felt his body relax its weight unto yours. You almost toppled backwards, but his hands guided the small of your back to lean against the countertop.

"Nap was good. Now I am hungry." You hear him grumble with a slight rasp in his voice. His forehead leaned unto yours as you continued to rub your thumbs on his temple.

"I made your favourite."

A throaty chuckle reverberated in his throat, and he opened his eyes to look at your happy ones. "I really am fortunate to have you by my side, my shiawase."

"And you, my darling Keiji, is also my happiness." You kiss both his cheeks, indulging your craving lips with pecks on his very own.

"I don't think my heart can take this." You feel him whisper between kisses, and a small giggle escapes your lips.

"We should probably eat before the food gets cold." Your hands found their way behind the nape of his neck and continued to caress the skin underneath his curls.

His eyes closed once more. It looks like the exhaustion is taking a toll on him, but the slight smile on his face tells you he feels content.

"I'd like to stay like this for a few more moments, my love." He whispers before kissing you.

You were both enveloped with warmth and in your homey embrace, he found solace from the pressures of his career.

"Aishiteru wa."

"Aishiteru yo."

You and Aakashi expressed this at the same time. The short pause gave both of you a moment to admire the specks in each of your eyes. You both sighed in wonder at the love and bliss that danced in his and your irises.

Somehow, that moment made you both laugh in unison. Your soft giggles intertwined with his deep titters, and they reverberated so sweetly in your cozy home.

The same thought echoed in your and Akaashi's thoughts.

It's all worth it. Well worth it.

#haikyuu #haikyū!!#haikyuu fic #hq fic #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #haikyuu akaashi #shiratorizawa

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gatheringbones · 7 months

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[“Both the US and UK typically tie domestic workers’ visas to a specific employer. As a result, a staggering 80 per cent of migrant domestic workers entering the US find that they have been deceived about their contract, and 78 per cent have had employers threaten them with deportation if they complain. In the UK, these ‘tied visas’ were only introduced – by Prime Minister Theresa May, who was home secretary at the time – in 2012, so it is possible to see their effect very clearly. Migrant domestic workers who entered the UK after 2012 on a tied visa are twice as likely to be physically abused by their employers as those who arrived on a visa that gave them the right to change employers. Compared to migrant domestic workers on the previous, more flexible form of visa, those on tied visas are substantially more likely to be underpaid, assaulted, and overworked, to be expected to sleep on the floor, and to have their passports confiscated by their employers. Punitive immigration law produces harm.

However, much mainstream trafficking discourse characterises the abuse of migrants and people selling sex as the work of individual bad actors, external to and independent of state actions and political choices. Sometimes this discourse works not only to obscure the role of the state but to absolve it. One feminist commentator, for example, writes of the sex trade that ‘criminalisation doesn’t rape and beat women. Men do’. From this, we might conclude that changing the law is pointless because, what makes women vulnerable is simply men. This may feel true for women who do not have to contend with immigration law, police, or the constant fear of deportation, but we can see from the results of tied visas that the legal context – including migration law – is heavily implicated in producing vulnerability and harm.

For undocumented migrant workers looking to challenge bad workplace conditions, penalties do not stop at deportation; instead, these workers face criminalisation if they are discovered. In the UK, someone convicted of ‘illegal working’ can face up to fifty-one weeks in prison, an unlimited fine, and the prospect of their earnings being confiscated as the ‘proceeds of crime’. This increases undocumented people’s justified fear of state authorities and makes them even less able to report labour abuses. Such laws therefore heighten their vulnerability and directly push them into exploitative working environments, thereby creating a supply of highly vulnerable, ripe-for-abuse workers. Increasingly, border enforcement is infiltrating new areas of civic life. Landlords are now expected to check tenants’ immigration status before renting to them; proposals have been floated to freeze or close the bank accounts of undocumented people, and a documentation check was introduced in England when accessing both healthcare and education, as part of an explicit ‘hostile environment’ policy (although both have been challenged by migrants’ rights organisers, including in court). The UK devotes far more resources to policing migration than it does to preventing the exploitation of workers. Researcher Bridget Anderson notes that ‘the [National Minimum Wage] had 93 compliance officers in 2009 and the Gangmasters Licensing Authority [which works to protect vulnerable and exploited workers] had 25 inspectors … The proposed number of UK Border Agency Staff for Local Immigration teams … is 7,500.’

This is the context in which commercial sex frequently occurs. Undocumented or insecurely documented people are enmeshed within a punitive, state-enforced infrastructure of deportability, disposability, and precarity. Any work they do – whether it is at a restaurant, construction site, cannabis farm, nail bar, or brothel – carries a risk of being detained, jailed, or deported. In any work they do, they will be unable to assert labour rights. Even renting a home or accessing healthcare can be difficult. All this makes undocumented people more dependent on those who can help them – such as the people they paid to helped them cross the border, or an unscrupulous employer. It should therefore be no surprise that some undocumented migrants are pushed into sex work by those they rely on, or that some enter into it even if the working conditions are exploitative or abusive.”]

molly smith, juno mac, from revolting prostitutes: the fight for sex workers’ rights, 2018

#molly smith #juno mac #currently reading #history stuff #cw rape

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writinglittlemagics · 4 months

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Another Will Wood analysis while I edit a load of personal pieces and try to find an internship! I have a few ideas for this account >:]

The Impact of Masculinism on “Willard!”

“Willard!” is a unique song on an already wildly diverse album. This song, the only one that draws inspiration from a separate piece of media, tells the story of Willard Stiles, a lonely man who befriends rats to cope. The song offers an introspective view of Stiles’s view of humanity and how distanced he views himself. Stiles is affected by the masculinist people around him, which causes him to regard his sensitivities as something that makes him “other.” In the movie, Willard’s boss, Martin, constantly cites his masculinity as his reason for tormenting Stiles. In the song, Willard uses traditional male expectations self-deprecatingly.

Stiles opens the song like an admission of guilt, “You know I couldn’t hurt a fly, my friend / I’m not the type to step on ants” (Line 1). Being insecure about being non-violent is a common trait among men who are in highly masculine environments. Typical gender norms insist that men are to be the aggressors or unafraid of bloodshed. This machismo bloodlust is the foundation of masculinist ideals. A “good” man should strive for dominance over everything: the workplace, the home, and public spaces. Willard is not a man who strives for anything. He knows he can not fit in with the aggressive men at his office, stating, “I've failed to fit in into those nests that scrape the sky / Is there room for me in your cage?” (Line 6) He is also embarrassed about his emotional displays, namely, “I've nearly cried for moths that die at porchlight lamps,” and “Just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect” (Lines 3 and 22). His sympathetic nature is a target for most of the people in Stiles’s life: his mother, who insists he kills his rats; his coworkers, who mock him; and his boss, who disparages him.

Like most men who struggle to fit into the masculine mold, Stiles feels an undue amount of shame. Feminism is for Everybody explains this reaction. It states, “These men identified themselves as victims of sexism, working to liberate men. They identified rigid sex roles as the primary source of their victimization…” (Hooks). As the song continues, Stiles starts to reject his role as a masculine man before extracting himself from humanity altogether. He ostracizes himself, hiding in closets with his rats and becoming a recluse. He states, “They'll call me crazy, but their words all seem made up to me / Maybe they just need more friendship like yours” (Line 24) and then regresses further into, “You might seem behind bars, but friend, this cage is inside out” (Line 35). The song concludes with a nod to the source material, quoting the climactic scene in which Willard uses his rats to murder Martin. This final scene solidifies the impact masculinity has had on Willard. He devolves from a man too timid to step on an ant to a man capable of premeditated murder. Willard is unfulfilled by his revenge and driven to madness, as Hooks predicts, claiming, “Many men are anguished because they do not engage the liberating critiques that could enable them to face that these promises were rooted in injustice and domination and even when fulfilled have never led men to glory” (Hooks).

(537 words)

Works Cited

hooks, bell. “FEMINIST MASCULINITY.” Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics, South End Press, Cambridge, MA, 2000, pp. 67–71.

“Will Wood – Willard!” Genius, 29 July 2022, genius.com/Will-wood-willard-lyrics.

Willard. Directed by Daniel Mann, Performances by Bruce Davison, Elsa Lanchester, and Ernest Borgnine, Bing Crosby Productions, 1971

Wood, Will. “Willard!” “In Case I Make It”, Will Wood, 2022, track 15. Spotify, https://open.spotify.com/track/1eZQFmVxyAeE3SHppgMxce?si=517f42b8c2e04c80

#writeblr #writing #will wood #literary analysis #song analysis #queer theory #willard

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laidee-flegman · 7 months

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Journaling prompts from work life

Current Job: Describe your current job role, responsibilities, and how you feel about it.

Dream Job: If you could have any job in the world, what would it be, and why?

Career Goals: What are your short-term and long-term career goals, and how do you plan to achieve them?

Work-Life Balance: Reflect on how you balance your work life with your personal life. Are there any changes you'd like to make?

Professional Growth: Write about the skills or knowledge you've gained in your current job and how they contribute to your professional growth.

Challenges at Work: Discuss the most significant challenges you face at work and how you handle them.

Success Stories: Share a recent success story or accomplishment at work that made you proud.

Colleague Appreciation: Write about a colleague or coworker you appreciate and why they make your work life better.

Leadership Qualities: Reflect on the leadership qualities you possess and how you use them in your job.

Mentorship: Describe any mentorship experiences you've had, either as a mentor or mentee, and what you've learned from them.

Feedback: How do you handle feedback, both giving and receiving it, in a professional context?

Job Satisfaction: Rate your current job satisfaction on a scale of 1 to 10 and explain your rating.

Career Path Reflection: Write about the journey that led you to your current job and any pivotal moments along the way.

Workplace Culture: Describe the culture of your workplace and how it influences your daily experiences.

Workplace Innovations: Discuss any innovative practices or technologies that have transformed your work environment.

Remote Work: Share your experiences and thoughts on remote work, if applicable to your job.

Daily Routine: Detail your typical workday routine, from morning rituals to end-of-day tasks.

Time Management: How do you manage your time and prioritize tasks at work?

Personal Projects: Are there any personal projects or initiatives you've undertaken at work? Describe them.

Work-Related Stress: Explore the sources of stress in your job and how you mitigate or cope with them.

Coworker Conflicts: Write about any conflicts or challenging interactions you've had with coworkers and how you resolved them.

Favorite Work Memory: Share a fond memory from your work life that brings a smile to your face.

Workplace Values: Reflect on your core values and how they align with your job and workplace.

Future Career Aspirations: Describe where you see yourself in your career five years from now.

Gratitude for Work: Express gratitude for the opportunities, challenges, and growth your work provides you.

These journaling prompts can help you gain deeper insights into your work life, set goals, and foster a sense of gratitude and self-awareness in your professional journey.

#journal prompts #journaling #writing prompt #journal #journals #work life journal #planner #future and aspirations

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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 years

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Ok finally, finally, here is part 3 of my touch and relationships series: Partners! I'll be covering Kunikida and Chuuya here.

Here's Part 1: Friends in case you missed it, and Part 2: Mentees, underneath!

I Like to Write Things — So I realized that 3 am me is not coherent and... (tumblr.com)

I Like to Write Things — Part 2 (Mentees) of my notes on touch in bsd! If... (tumblr.com)

Now without further ado, let's start with Kunikida! This is actually the first solidified dynamic we see in the series and I think it does a good job of setting up the tone for not just the two characters, but also the series in general.

Their dynamic is at once straightforward and deeper than it seems. Dazai annoys Kunikida. Kunikida gets mad. Kunikida typically inflicts some kind of bodily harm on Dazai (played for comedy).

Yet, they work really well together. In terms of a professional partnership, I'd say it's the best in the series; they near perfectly fill in each other's weak spots as seen in the fight scene in the Entrance Exam story where they switch opponents. Kunikida respects Dazai because he always gets results, while he keeps them both on track. And I think Dazai respects Kunikida too. He speaks quite highly of him and his potential as leader to the younger members of the ADA, and despite thinking of him as straightforward, even simplistic, I think this might be something Dazai likes about him. Kunikida is exactly who he appears to be. He says exactly what he'll do and does it. He wears his ideals on his sleeve. Dazai can trust him for this very reason, and indeed, Dazai seems comfortable getting in the man's personal space (indirect contact).

On the flip side, for however well they work together, their relationship does not currently have much personal depth. The only significant direct contact between them is Kunikida's rather aggressive berating to behave on the job. It's a workplace relationship, not a personal one.

Wan implies that Kunikida actually does worry about Dazai but it seems that he's uncertain of whether to broach more serious topics in a workplace environment and so he doesn't say anything. On the flip side, Dazai sees fit to warn him about the dangers of taking his ideals too far, but otherwise doesn't really "get serious" with him.

And I think that's intentional. It's a strong partnership but relatively shallow on a personal level. Kunikida is a very consistent person who won't change the relationship. It's a safe dynamic for Dazai. And that's why, any contact between them is of a humorous nature (note, there still is contact - it is a significant relationship), as at this point, it doesn't really go beyond surface level. I wonder if their dynamic will develop more after this current arc... I certainly hope so.

And that brings us to the final dynamic, Dazai's former partner, Chuuya.

Their dynamic is easily one of my favourites to explore, as we're given a lot of content to work with and they're also foil characters. On a surface level, it seems as though Dazai's dynamic with Kunikida shares a lot in common with his former one with Chuuya - he certainly likes to irritate them and they both have a quick temper and tend to lash out as a response - but here's something interesting I noticed.

In the comedic scenes where Chuuya attacks Dazai, I can't remember an instance where he actually makes contact. Dazai dodges his strikes. Even in the scene where Dazai reveals his arm is uninjured in the fight against Lovecraft and Chuuya gets pissed (because he was worried...) he's still only readying a fist to punch him and his other hand is on his collar, not making direct contact.

When Chuuya does make direct contact with a blow, it is decidedly not played for laughs. I think about scenes where Chuuya attacks Dazai in the dungeon after his betrayal, or when he kicks the gun out of his hand in Fifteen, or when he punches him in the face during the DHC. These are callouts. They force Dazai to confront himself, something he hates doing. Any actual violence between them is no gag but carries a definite kind of emotional weight - another expression of the tension that constantly exists between them.

Unlike Dazai's relationships with Kunikida or Odasaku, which are comfortable and consistent - emotionally safe, his dynamic with Chuuya is fraught with conflict - emotionally unsafe. Connection with Chuuya often brings him pain and internal discomfort with himself because they are just so darn similar at their cores - so, Dazai dodges. He evades direct contact from Chuuya, so they can never really have the true slapstick dynamic he has with Kunikida or the comfortable coexistence he had with Odasaku.

Of course, the violence from Chuuya is countered by his very obvious concern and worry when Dazai gets hurt or is in actual danger - pushing him out of harm's way in Stormbringer, rushing over to him when he gets hit by Lovecraft, and the punch he gives him to save his life in Dead Apple. All this with his admittance of trust and the light punch to his chest after the Lovecraft fight, and it's fairly obvious that while Chuuya can't bring himself to admit Dazai matters to him, he does.

And if that were the end of it, then maybe we could assume that there's no reciprocal care on Dazai's end. Except, there's so much evidence this is not the case and most of it stems from the fact that for someone who avoids contact from Chuuya, he sure initiates an awful lot of it. Let's make a list of notable instances here:

Gets in his personal space regularly

Pats his head in Fifteen

Pokes him in the cheek to deactivate his ability in the Fifteen omake

Grabs his hand in Fifteen's fight scene anime adaptation (a rare mutual contact) or indirect contact (also mutual) in the novel with the drape

Carries him on his back so he can say goodbye to The Flags in Stormbringer

Catches him falling out of the sky after Corruption in Stormbringer

Nullifies Corruption in the DHC by touching his cheek then letting him rest in his lap

Nullifies Corruption at the resolution of Dead Apple much the same way

Implied to have laid him on his back and cleaned the blood off his face after the fight against Lovecraft

I... what do I even say here? Dazai initiates a ridiculous amount of contact between them, and when looking at it in chronological order, it seems these particular gestures become more emotional and less teasing as time goes on. Unfortunately, many of these instances of fondness occur when Chuuya is injured, grief-stricken or otherwise exhausted, which may contribute to Chuuya's apparent doubtfulness when it comes to Dazai having any helpful or "good" intentions.

Ultimately, the characterization of their dynamic when looking at touch shows two people who clash but care about each other... but are also both so emotionally constipated and prideful that they can barely admit that to themselves, let alone each other. I am begging for the return of the prison arc to kickstart at least some present-day development for them.

And that brings me to the end of my touch and relationships series which was really just more me rambling about Dazai's relationships with other people in the series. Hope this was enjoyable anyways.

#bsd #bsd meta #bsd analysis #bsd dazai #bsd kunikida #bsd chuuya #kunikidazai #soukoku #skk #storyrambles #fr i would love to see more main story content like in that wan chapter #where kunikida thinks he's talking to dazai from behind a screen #and decides it might be a good way to broach his concerns about dazai's attempts and open a dialogue #...only to find that dazai wasn't actually there lol #also soukoku admit you care about each other challenge #it's getting ridiculous at this point

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sngii1726 · 2 months

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What are the astrological results for Mars in 6th house?

In astrology, the placement of Mars in the 6th house of a natal chart can influence various aspects of an individual's life and personality. Here are some common interpretations of Mars in the 6th house:

Hard Work and Productivity: Mars in the 6th house typically brings a strong drive and energy towards work, tasks, and daily routines. Individuals with this placement often possess a strong work ethic and are willing to put in significant effort to accomplish their goals.

Competitive Spirit: There may be a competitive nature when it comes to work and health matters. These individuals may thrive in environments where they can demonstrate their skills and compete with others, whether it's in the workplace or regarding physical fitness.

Active Lifestyle: Mars here can indicate a need for physical activity and exercise as a means of maintaining health and vitality. Regular exercise routines may be important to these individuals to channel their energy constructively and alleviate stress.

Service-Oriented Approach: The 6th house is associated with service and helping others, so Mars here may manifest as a drive to serve or assist others in practical ways. This placement can indicate a career or daily activities focused on service professions such as healthcare, social work, or physical training.

Conflict in the Workplace: While Mars brings energy and assertiveness, it can also signify conflict and tension. In the 6th house, this could manifest as disagreements or power struggles with colleagues or subordinates in the workplace if not managed appropriately.

Health Concerns: Mars in the 6th house can sometimes indicate a predisposition towards health issues related to inflammation, fevers, or accidents. It's important for individuals with this placement to pay attention to their physical well-being and avoid overexertion or reckless behavior.

Organizational Skills: Mars here may grant excellent organizational abilities, making these individuals efficient and effective at managing tasks and responsibilities. They may thrive in roles that require multitasking and attention to detail.

Desire for Self-Improvement: There may be a strong desire to improve oneself and overcome challenges with Mars in the 6th house. These individuals may constantly strive for self-improvement and personal development in various areas of their lives.

Like any astrological position, the overall interpretation may vary depending on the specific aspects, house ruler and other factors present in the birth chart. For which you can take help of Kundli Chakra 2022 Professional software. Which can tell you the position of the planet in your horoscope

#astro chart #astro community #astro observations #numerology #astrologer #cancer horoscope: star sign dates #follow astro girls #birth chart #aquarius weekly horoscope: what your star sign has in store for november 19 – 25 #cancer weekly horoscope: what your star sign has in store for november 26 – december 2 #planets #galaxy #outer space #astrophotography #space #solar system #aries horoscope: star sign dates #aries weekly horoscope: what your star sign has in store for october 1 – 7 #cancer weekly horoscope: what your star sign has in store for october 29 – november 4

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seraphic-saturn · 6 months

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Hypothetical Daily Routines W/ 6th House

Pisces in 6th House

A Pisces individual with the 6th house placement typically approaches their routine with compassion, creativity, and a focus on emotional well-being. They thrive on engaging in activities that promote harmony, creativity, and spiritual growth. Here's a possible routine a Pisces in the 6th house might follow:

Morning:

7:30 AM: Wake up with a gentle and compassionate mindset, ready to approach the day's activities with empathy and sensitivity.

8:00 AM: Engage in a calming and nurturing morning routine, possibly incorporating meditation or gentle yoga to promote emotional and spiritual balance.

Daytime:

9:00 AM: Start work with a compassionate and empathetic approach, aiming to create a supportive and harmonious work environment for colleagues.

12:00 PM: Take a serene and reflective lunch break, possibly spending time in nature or engaging in activities that promote emotional well-being.

1:00 PM: Resume work with a focus on creative problem-solving and fostering a sense of emotional connection and understanding in the workplace.

Afternoon/Evening:

5:00 PM: Conclude work, ensuring that all tasks are completed with care and consideration for others' emotional needs.

6:00 PM: Engage in a creative and spiritually enriching activity, such as practicing an artistic pursuit, listening to soothing music, or engaging in activities that promote emotional healing.

7:30 PM: Enjoy a peaceful and nourishing dinner, possibly with close friends or loved ones, fostering meaningful and compassionate conversations.

9:00 PM: Unwind with a soothing and calming activity, such as practicing mindfulness, engaging in a spiritual practice, or spending time in quiet contemplation.

10:00 PM: Prepare for a restful night's sleep, ensuring a tranquil and serene sleeping environment that promotes emotional and spiritual rejuvenation for the day ahead.

#astrology #astrology observations #astrology 6th house #6th house #pisces

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sablesilver · 2 months

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formula 1 is like your typical workplace environment. there are 20 year olds working with the elderly, everyone does it for the money, rumors fly around all the time and there’s always a coworker with a medical emergency. that's literally office life.

#f1 #saudi arabian gp 2024 #also everybody just hates women

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phlve · 1 year

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Subtype Trait Structures: sp6

Guilt

The identification with the aggressor and introjection of an internal persecutor, to defend themselves from external threats, entail the development of a superego that constantly feeds the feeling of guilt. This self blame is a way of controlling the world: “If it is my fault, I can do something about it.” Then, they look for punishment, as masterfully portrayed in Dostoyevsky’s Crime and Punishment, all with the hope of placating this uncontrollable self-persecution.

Unconscious behaviors sometimes lead them to “turning themselves in” to get the punishment through which they, uselessly, hope they will be forgiven and “rescued.” This neurotic mechanism leads them to search for the love of one of their parents (usually the father) through the admission of fault and inadequacy, with the goal of forgiveness. Therefore, the conservation E6 sees attaining love and appreciation through their own merits and personal value as impossible.

Persecution

Seeing themselves as constantly at fault, they also feel persecuted: they project their internal persecution externally. It is a form of paranoid thinking which incurs the following: other people are always ready to catch your faults, attack you, and criticize you, and if they do not, it is only because it is convenient for them to hide their intentions at the moment to ensure they punch down the line.

Given that they demand from themselves more and more, they can’t handle that it is other people that are accusing them and they continuously oscillate between victim and accuser.

Accusation

The conservation E6 has the competitive desire to take the place of the authority which tends to cause controversy. They always believe they know how things should be done while submitting to their superiors at the same time. At the same time, they love and hate the authority that they mystify.

It is hard for them to take on responsibility in negative situations (failures, conflicts, etc.) out of fear of being vulnerable and the other taking advantage of them. They accuse with the purpose of defending themselves and ensuring that others don’t accuse them.

Worry

They obsessively search to confirm what they are and what they do. The dominant fear is of failing and doing wrong; and it is so dominating that it blocks action or expression, and is as if they lacked an internal method to determine the validity of a personal choice. Prior to action, a long and troubling process leads them to ruminate with a rigidity that turns into pure inaction. The fear of judgment compromises doing, with inhibition leading them to known or comfortable goals.

In the work environment, they choose to do things they are sure of. They avoid changes in the workplace for fear of not being able to deal with them, of lacking the ability or knowledge; they do not propose things but rather hope that others do for them.

They do not like to improvise, they prefer to prepare before new situations, out of fear of ridicule. The moment of confrontation with the other is very stressful. The feeling is always that they are not ready enough. They need continual confirmation, by the people they trust in, that they are doing the right thing. When this confirmation does not come to them, they mentally review, typical of an insecure person, what they have said or done.

Indecision and Doubt

Their thoughts are centered on subjective content, to defend themselves from what they do not perceive clearly. But, they do not recognize having departed from absolutely subjective premises. Their primary goal is to demonstrate (especially to themselves) that their idea is valid. A “cogito, ergo cogito” complicates things to such a point that their thought eventually remains in the hands of doubt.

Doubt is connected with self-invalidation and ambivalence. They constantly devalue themselves but at the same time have a great self-concept. They feel persecuted (in extreme cases can lead to a paranoid schizophrenia). They even doubt what they doubt. They are suspicious of others and suffer from chronic uncertainty about which action to take.

They love and hate the paternal figure that represents authority. They desire to please and attack. They go through phases of contact and withdrawal: the desire for a relationship and for fusion is as strong as the fear that they will completely become vulnerable. They have not built the ability to establish clear boundaries, and they move with extreme ambivalence between their desire to satisfy their own needs and fear of losing the relationship with the other.

Due to this fear, while the E9 has given up on maintaining the difference between the self and the other therefore solving the conflict, the E6 invaded by the threat constituted by the other, withdraws to protect the self, inhibiting any kind of decision and, therefore, any action, whether it be at an interpersonal level with an external other, or at an intrapsychic level with a self understood as the essential set of emotions and needs of the other.

Passivity

The issue of control is basic in childhood and adolescence both among their school peers and their loved ones. The message received is: “The world is dangerous; you are weak and influenceable and, therefore, we are the ones who will guide you because we know what is adequate for you.”

Introversion

Between the psychological types described by Jung, the conservation E6 corresponds to the reflective introvert. The introvert, locked in themselves, stays clear of too much contact with external reality. This introvert is characterized by the primacy of thought: the ideas that they have of other people affect their relationships, without them realizing the distance that they are introducing into them. They have a negative relationship with the other, which comes from the indifference to rejection. Thought tends to disarm the adversary. The other is always a little neglected or surrounded by measures of caution they defend themselves from external demands with.

The conservation E6 fears that emotional manifestations of the other will overcome them. They prefer reading to overt social contact, are introspective, schedule their activities, and control their impulses and feelings.

Lack of Trust

The first psychosocial structure that the child learns, according to Erickson, is trust. With milk, the child incorporates their mother and nutrition. The derived wellness makes the surrounding objective world acceptable: this is the base upon which we base our mental world.

“I am what I get,” the kid could claim, in the sense that they trust themselves and others by the quantity and quality of the security of what they’ve received. The conservation E6 has been unable to incorporate the feeling of wellness connected to the relationship with a nutrition-bringing mother, and as a consequence, they have not been able to build this trust on security. This lack has made them insecure and fearful.

Ambivalence

The conservation E6 was an over-protected child who did not feel accepted in their own true needs, which came with a recognition of their own less positive qualities.

If the child does not get help in their efforts of individuation to be who they are, or is pushed toward a definition of themselves that satisfies the representation of their parent over their true nature, there are two possibilities: submitting or rebelling. Or the two reactions together, which is what usually happens.

At first, the child rebels, but over time, they end up accommodating themselves to the demands and needs of their parents to avoid rejection and the withdrawal of affection, to not fall flat with disapproval, and in practice, loneliness.

In their ambivalence, the conservation E6 cannot live serenely with adaptation nor rebelliousness: both polarities are unsatisfactory for them and they live in an irreconcilable dilemma between freedom and obligation.

Self-denial

When they have to choose between what they are, between their project, put out ahead by their own efforts, and others’ projects, which is presented with guarantees of maximum support, the conservation E6 accepts the easiest solution: other’s proposals.

They give up a super important need in this way: realizing their own efforts. At the root of this, they feel a very strong hostility that, unable to manifest it, comes back against themselves in the form of blame. To be accepted, they activate adequate behaviors, like obedience, goodness, and solidarity. These are hard to attain if they are countered with other needs, like a natural selfishness or the need to be oneself, even with that aspect’s own accompanying miseries.

They “eliminate” unacceptable impulses that, in spite of everything, they struggle to carry out. The fear that they can overcome this self-censoring is what we call “anxiety.” In other words, the E6 puts their mind to a self-idealization whose dominant traits are perfection, and feelings of omnipotence and omniscience. In this manner, they make the illusion that they’ve outgrown self-hatred and conquered others’ approval. That they have overcome the base conflict between their need for self-realization and others’ needs.

Submissiveness

In Karen Horney’s description of neuroses, we can see this E6 in the conciliatory personality, whose style of conflict resolution is resignation, particularly in tending to renouncing with submission. The neurotic “resignation” restricted the field of action connected with their own desires.

They can renounce all ambition for success, in that it implies effort and, additionally, the danger of being imprisoned by others’ expectations and responsibilities. They prefer to cultivate intense imaginative activity and fear their elevated ideal of themselves, while they delay the necessary action to make things reality. They tend to be convinced of chasing what they want, which they don’t really know much about. They lose the orientation of action because they do not have contact with desire, nor with its implied emotional aspects. This leads the conservation E6 to a detachment leading them to occasional inertia in the plane of action.

The submissive resignation causes extreme neurotic worry about conflict and punishment. The mechanism of projection is evident through the way they invest others into co-action and hostility instead of recognizing their difficulty to be “free” and themselves.

The conservation E6 is one type who can fall victim to inertia, paralyzed in all aspects of their life. To drain the anxiety at the root, they feed a spooky omnipotent world that does not reveal an authentic position of independence. And with submission they do not take action but rather maintain an ultimate defense stemming from their internal world.

Selfishness and Stinginess

The conservation E6 houses the “crazy” idea that material and emotional resources are scarce and that they can always lack basic things, with a threat toward their own survival. From this erroneous perception, they derive their worried, and “selfish,” attitude with only some material things and emotional relationships.

This selfishness is manifested in an attitude of always putting themselves before others, out of a reaction of fear that they will never be up to the challenge faced. In general, this fear is not conscious, and when it is, they become very ashamed of it and see it as something that should not happen.

Cloudiness

The way of thinking in conservation E6 is always oriented to the past or the future. It is essential to the need for security to predict anything that could happen and to be in a situation to face difficulties, and directly proportional to the distrust in their capacity to do so.

Thinking about the past, in itself, is essential to the maintenance of control over possible errors committed through the feeling of guilt, with the goal of corrective action and finding safety. The feeling of guilt is, additionally, a defense mechanism against pain, from which they cannot be abandoned.

Feeling comes after thought, which conditions it. As Hegel claims: “If emotions are not coherent with thought, that is bad for emotions.” They control, above all, the emotions that could cause conflicts with people significant to them. It is hard that they allow themselves a moment to not think about anything, unless they get validation that it is ok. When this happens, this “not thinking or doing” is very pleasant for them.

Their thoughts are seemingly logical, but only on a superficial level; in their deepest core, they are undefined and cloudy. This allows them to not define themselves to other people, a strategy which maintains their absence of deep commitment, and avoids confrontation and conflict. In reality, emotions controlled like this come back strongly and dysfunctionally when thought no longer allows a solution to problems.

Inhibition

The conservation E6 is very inhibited, in both instinctual impulses and aggression. Their hesitant character is a vacillation between their impulses and an equally intense fearful inhibition that stemmed from a fear of the father or, more widely, authority figures, and has led to a strong superego.

They tend to have the personality, which can last a lifetime, of a “good kid”: someone who ensures they live according to ethics and others expectations, with an ingratiating attitude, often smiling.

Insecurity

Very different from the schizoid E5, who is a true loner, this character’s timid nature is more like a type of stepping aside out of fear of annoying someone or out of insecurity, but truly yearns for closeness, and satisfies their need for emotional support with a few close relationships.

Inefficiency

It is always a laborious process for the conservation E6 to make a decision, or even move: due to their fear of change, it is easier for them to lengthen a situation than to keep moving forward and confront a new challenge. This deliberate slowness, together with the tendency to create a fog to obscure the clarity of things, make them less agile. Like the “fool” in fairy tales who, for fear of making their own decisions, is often manipulated.

Fantasy

This type is much more of a dreamer than a doer, substituting reality with fantasy. A certain inefficiency is the other side of their inclination toward their internal life and noble ideals.

The inhibition of emotional expression makes them a hypersensitive and fantasizing character, blocking them from action and instinctual spontaneity.

For a strategy oriented toward controlling commitment, dreaming of fusion with another is more functional than a tangible relationship, which would bring confrontation.

Without a Right

The conservation E6 has always felt like a stowaway: someone who got on board without a ticket: in their family, in love, at work. They are the disinherited heir, the wife abandoned at the altar, the laid off worker. It is as if the shadow of these possibilities never abandoned them, ever present.

Suspicious

The conservation E6 is always alert, looking for signs and indicators of hidden meanings (opposite of the E3 who wants to have everything under control). They reflect too much!

They also like instructions. As dutiful distrusters, they resolve conflicts trusting in logic. While the E7 uses intellect as a strategy, the E6 shows a fanatic loyalty to reason. To feel confident, they adopt the strategy of searching for problems: they must have them in order to solve them.

Source: PDB Wiki

#personality theory #personality types #typology #enneagram #enneagram subtypes #instinctual variants #enneagram 6 #type 6 #6w5 #6w7 #sp6 #infj #infp

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