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prettyyyboyluke · 1 year

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Fuck About It Later

using my sex life for this

ashton’s throat was raw when he woke up. him and y/n were screaming at each other all night, and it didn’t help that they were both stubborn. neither of them would back down, admit their wrongs, none of it. the fight started off small to begin with, y/n finally got fed up with ashton saying that he’ll do things around the house, but then never does. so, she called him out on it, and ashton didn’t like the way her attitude was when she spoke to him. y/n was rarely threatened by ashton’s voice when they would argue, she would raise her’s just to match his. everything that ashton did, y/n mirrored back to him. his tone, his body language, even hand movements. the icing on the cake was when y/n crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at ashton when he couldn’t find anything else to say.

the rest of that night, no one spoke, the entire house was silent. even though they were both furious with each other, they still went to bed together. their legs were still tangled under the sheets, but ashton wasn’t holding y/n like he normally does. and to be frank, y/n was a little sad about it, but her pride got in the way of saying anything. ashton wanted to hold her too, but his pride too got in the way.

y/n didn’t bring up their fights the next morning, mostly because she doesn’t like to feel her feelings. she’d much rather forget it and move on, and that bothered ashton. when y/n woke up in the morning, her and ashton were on complete opposite sides of the bed. she sat up slowly, looking over at ashton facing the wall, and smiled weakly. ashton heard y/n wake up, he woke up about an hour before she did. he watched her sleep for a little bit, just listening to the small snores that came from her. when he felt her start to stir awake, he turned back over and closed his eyes so y/n would think he’s still sleeping.

y/n got out of bed, checking her phone before heading to the bathroom to shower. when ashton felt y/n get up, he waited until he heard their bathroom door shut, and got up himself. he made their bed, picked up the spare clothes that didn’t make it to the hamper, and sat back on the bed until y/n got out of the shower. he knows y/n won’t bring up their fight, he doesn’t think he will either, but he’s not letting her completely off the hook.

in the shower, y/n was thinking about what her and ashton were screaming at each other. she knows she hit places that hurt, and she regrets it, truly. she pushed it to the back of her mind, and started thinking on her plans for the day. y/n had no idea if ashton would be in their bed room when she got out of the shower. normally after they fight, he’s downstairs in his office. when she finally finished rinsing out the conditioner in her hair, she stepped out, and put a towel on. she brushed her hair and put some product in it so it could get wavy.

y/n opened the door and saw ashton sitting on their bed. it shocked her. she didn’t know what to say, or if she should say anything at all. ashton just stared at her, keeping his eye contact with her. y/n was the first to tear her eyes away, feeling her cheeks heat up. she took a deep breath before speaking, “good morning.” she walked to their closet, starting to pick out clothes for the day. ashton followed her into the closet, watching her pick out her outfit. he extended his hand out for y/n to take. y/n was hesitant, but took his hand, and followed him back into their room. he took her to the edge of the bed, making her sit. he wasn’t sure if he wanted to say anything or not.

she was holding her own hands, circling her thumbs over each other. he could hear her breath pick up when they were face to face with each other. she swallows the lump in her throat, wishing she had more than a towel on. ashton grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. he gives her forehead a lingering kiss and walks into the bathroom so can shower. y/n’s confused. she doesn’t know if she should wait until ashton’s out of the shower or if she should continue to get ready for the day. she goes back and forth in her mind before deciding on waiting until ashton’s out of the shower. she’s not taking any chances of getting in trouble.

when he walks out of the bathroom, he’s a little shocked to see y/n still sitting on the bed the way he left her. she doesn’t say anything to him, she waits for him to start talking. “c’mon, get ready. we have stuff to do today.” ashton finally says, his voice sounding raspy.

ashton and y/n ran their errands. ashton still had his hand on her thigh, and y/n still played with his fingers. all she was thinking about was their morning. she kept racking her brain about what ashton was going to do, if he was going to do anything, she had no idea. part of her wants to bring it up, but the other part of her doesn’t. there wasn’t much conversing between them. “have you asked paula how her finals went?” ashton asks, breaking the silence.

y/n looks over to ashton, his eyes still focused on the road. “yeah, she said that her stats one was easy, she feels okay about anthropology, and she still has her biology final.” y/n answers. ashton hums at her response. y/n has an uneasy feeling in her stomach that she can’t shake, so, she finally swallows her pride and begins to bring up their fight. “can we talk about-“ she begins to say but ashton cuts her off.

“no. you don’t seem to like it when we talk.” ashton says curtly. y/n knows ashton’s right, she just can’t help thinking about what happened in the morning still. “we can fuck about it later.” he says. y/n whips her head to look at ashton. he’s completely unfazed about the comment he just made. his hand starts squeezing the inside of her thigh, causing y/n’s reaction to close her legs. she relaxes them a minute after ashton softens his grip. the butterflies that were once in her stomach moved down to her pussy. she can feel the wetness in her panties begin to pool.

ashton moves his hand further up her thigh, happy that she wore a dress today, he let his pinky trace pattens dangerously close to her pussy. y/n puts her hand over ashton’s, guiding him further up her thigh. once he reaches her clothed pussy, he pushes a finger against her clit. y/n lets out a small breath, moving her hips the slightest bit against his finger. ashton keeps his eyes on the road while he moves his finger slowly against y/n’s clit. as soon as her breath begins to pick up, they pull up to their driveway. ashton moves her panties to the side, sliding his middle and ring finger between her folds. “god you’re wet,” he whispers to her.

y/n turns her head to look at ashton, her eyes are soft and her lips are in a small pout. “don’t give me that look, i have half the mind to punish you right now.” ashton says to her. he pushes his fingers into her pussy, watching as she shutters. her thighs freeze and her hands are in fists at her sides. ashton’s watching his fingers move in and out of y/n. her head leans against the head rest, and she closes her eyes. “oh, you’re not gonna cum yet. nice girls get to cum, and you doll, haven’t been very nice.” ashton says, referring to their fight.

he takes his fingers out of her pussy, licking them clean, and getting out of the car. y/n follows ashton inside quickly. ashton puts everything away that they bought before heading to their bed room. “are you scared, doll?” ashton asks once he sees her looking everywhere but at him. she shakes her head no, but they both know she’s lying. y/n wasn’t scared ofashton, she was scared about what he could do to her. “take the dress off, and sit on the bed.” he tells her.

y/n wastes no time and takes her dress off. she sits on the edge of the bed, watching ashton undress himself. he leans down to face her, leaning on his hands that are on the edge of the bed. y/n leans back, flickering her eyes between ashton’s lips and his eyes. ashton brushed her hair off her shoulders, looking down at her breasts. the dress she chose didn’t make her wear one. ashton caressed her cheek, pulling her in so her mouth could meet his. he nipped at her lips before kissing her softly and desperately. his other hand slid across her breast, rolling her nipple between his fingers.

ashton pulled away, dragging his thumb against her bottom lip and letting it bounce back into place. y/n moved further up the bed so ashton could tower over her. she spread her legs for him, allowing his hips to fit between them. y/n leaned her head up to kiss ashton again, and began moving her hips into him. he groaned into the kiss and pushed his cock harder against her. y/n drags her hand slowly down ashton’s stomach until it met the spot where they were connected. she snaps the waist band of his boxers, pushing them down as far as she can.

they both break the kiss, ashton taking off his boxers along with y/n’s panties. he lets his cock slide between her folds, feeling how much wetter she was. they’re both rolling their hips into each other, whines filling the room. ashton takes his cock and pushes into y/n. her head falls back, feeling ashton stretch her walls. ashton slowly begins to move his hips once he feels y/n relax around him. she looks up at him, grabs his face, and brings him down for another kiss. y/n smiles into the kiss when she feels ashton in her stomach.

“i’m filling you up so perfectly, doll.” his fingers skated over her clit, and she bit down on his bottom lip as her legs began to shake. “you need me? you need me to fuck you until you’re unable to move without remembering me inside of you?” he says to her, picking up his pace. y/n nods her head harshly, letting her head fall completely into the pillows.

“yes! it feels so good,” she moans. her body began to tense up embarrassingly fast. “oh god, please don’t stop,” she whispers. ashton grabs her hips, moving her up and down his cock. y/n can feel her orgasm approach her, but she isn’t sure if ashton is going to let her cum. “i-i’m almost there, fuck,” she moans. ashton keeps his same pace, maybe thrusting harder once or twice to see her back arch.

he knows when y/n’s about to cum, but he has no intent in letting her cum this early. he brings her hips all the way down so her clit brushes against his pelvic bone. he holds her there, his grip on her hips getting stronger. “i’m not letting you cum just yet, you have a long way to go, doll. if you want it, you’re gonna have to work for it.” ashton rasps. y/n groans and starts to roll her hips into ashton. he guides her, picking her up a few times to thrust up into her.

“please, let me cum!” y/n begs, keeping the motion of her hips continuous.

ashton shakes his head, “not yet, baby.” he slips his cock out of her and starts to lay back on the bed. “c’mon, i want you to show me how you use that mouth, without yelling at me.” he tells her. y/n wants to roll her eyes and sigh heavily, but she knows that that’ll put ashton over the edge. she sits up, still looking at him with soft eyes, and takes his cock in her hand.

he grabs her hair and puts it in a make shift pony tail. once y/n’s lips are around the tip of his cock, he slowly guides her head up and down. she hollows her cheeks, letting her tongue lick the underside of his cock. ashton throws his head back, still guiding y/n’s head. she brings his cock all the way to the back of her throat until she gags, letting her spit coat him.

“god, your mouth feels so good, doll. i like it better when it’s filled like this.” he tells her. he lets himself get close to releasing in her mouth, but stops himself. y/n takes her mouth off of him, keeping her hand moving up and down his cock. “get back on my cock, i need to be inside you,” he rushes out, pulling y/n on top of him. he turns her around so he can’t see her face.

ashton grabs her wrists and brings them behind her back. she finally sinks down on his cock, whining as she does. y/n moves her hips in circles, loving how ashton felt so deep inside her. she throws her head back, arching her back as she does. ashton’s grip on her wrists didn't loosen up. y/n starts to lift her hips up down, finding her rhythm that makes her eyes close and lips smile. ashton starts to snap his hips up to meet y/n’s, gradually having y/n on her knees.

y/n wraps her hands around ashton’s forearms, digging her nails into his skin. her moans start filling up the room and the sound of skin slapping echos throughout. her back is arched as far as it can go and her legs are already shaking. “you like being fucked like this, huh? you like it when i treat you like a slut?” ashton grits, slapping her ass. she jolts forward when he does, nodding her head so fast she gets dizzy.

she starts to fall forward on the bed, her cheek flush against the duvet. now her grip on ashton’s forearms start to slip, but his never lets go. “i asked you a question, doll, i expect you to answer me,” ashton says to her. y/n can’t remember what he said to her, so she just says a meek yes. her body starts to go limp, hoping that ashton will let her cum soon.

“please, please, i wanna cum,” she whispers.

ashton can feel her pussy tighten around his cock, making him start to feel his orgasm. he groans loudly, “alright, fuck, cum for me baby, let me hear you,” he breaths.

she starts to move her wrists, trying to get out of his grip, but to no avail. “oh my god, yes!” she moans loudly. she pushes her hips towards ashton, feeling him sink further into her. “daddy, it feels so good,” she slips out. ashton throws his head back, starting to feel his cock throb inside y/n’s wet, pink walls.

“fuck, keep squeezing me like that,” he moans, stilling inside her. y/n whimpers when she feels ashton cum inside her, still feeling her orgasm come down. she’s focusing on catching her breath, she doesn’t realize ashton has slipped out of her. he brushes her hair off her shoulder, kissing it softly. “always end up being a good girl for me,” he whispers to her.

y/n smiles, opening her eyes, a tear slipping down her cheek. ashton swipes it away for her. “i like it when you fuck me like that.”

#ashton irwin smut #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin preference #ashton irwin 5sos #ashton irwin #ashton #ai #5 seconds of summer smut #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer preference #5 seconds of summer #5sos smut #5sos imagine #5sos preference #5sos

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ughkat · 7 months

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Body worship smut with calum 👀👀👀 maybe his s/o is feeling insecure about their body so he's gotta make them feel good

worship - c.t.h

a/n: i made the descriptions and dialogue of readers body insecurities a bit vague, being i didn't want the story to be too triggering to anyone struggling. but the plot is still calum making reader feel loved and beautiful after feeling a bit insecure! ❥

calum x fem!reader

smut, negative body image, oral, missionary, petnames

not proofread

I sighed in frustration, standing and sulking in front of my body mirror. Listening to the sounds of Calum shuffling through clothes behind me, I ran my hands slowly over my hips, then my waist, feeling my self esteem lowering the longer I studied my figure.

Calum and I were getting ready for dinner, as he'd been planning a casual night out for the two of us for a few weeks. Oblivious to my focus on my physical appearance, Calum paced our bedroom absentmindedly, searching for clothes and shoes.

I hesitantly began to dress myself in the casual black dress laying on the chair beside me, sighing quietly as it laid itself against my curves. I stared at my reflection, picking out insecurities that seemed to be only visible to me.

"You okay?" I heard Calum's deep voice approach from behind me. He placed to hands on my hips, looking at me in the mirror. I forced a fake half smile, looking down at my feet as he rested his chin on my shoulder.

"Yeah." My voice heightened as I lied, nodding slightly. Calum narrowed his eyes, turning me around by my shoulders. He looked at me suspiciously before speaking.

"I know when you're lying." He smiled softly, "Talk to me, what's wrong?". I sighed, half embarrassed to explain my minor insecurities to him.

"Nothing looks good." I began, motioning to the dress on my body, "I just feel gross, I hate my body." I muttered under my breath. I bit my cheek as Calum's expression changed.

"Y/n." His voice softened, "You're so fuckin' beautiful." He brought me in closer by my hips. I looked up at him with a half smile, I could feel his affectionate behavior already beginning to make me feel better.

He leaned down and connected our lips softly, bringing a gentle hand to the side of my face. My stomach fluttered at the feeling of his lips against mine. He pulled away slowly, his gaze burning into mine.

"I wish you could see how beautiful you really are." He spoke genuinely, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I looked down, blushing at his words.

"Me too." I mumbled. He ran his hands adoringly up and down my sides, his touch sending a chill through my body. Calum brought himself closer to me, our chests pressed together snugly.

"Let me show you how gorgeous you are, baby." He spoke deeply, just above a whisper in my ear. I shiver shot down my spine, my eyes glanced to his briefly as he pulled away. A small smile escapes the corner of my lips.

Calum guided me by my hips, his body leading us to our bed during an unbroken kiss. The back of my thighs hit the mattress, Calum gently let me fall to the bed. I let out a small giggle as he hovered above me, his hands planted at the sides of my head. He wasted no time bringing his lips to my neck softly, his mouth dancing against my skin with passion. I let out a small coo, squirming under Calum's touch.

Calum brought two hands up to the straps of my dress, watching me close as he pulled them down slowly. He made his way down my body along with the clothing, watching me as the fabric carefully made its way down my torso, pulling it off my legs gently.

"My pretty girl." Calum praised as he ran his hands along my waist, bringing his lips to my ribs. My back arched slightly at Calum's mouth against my torso, his lips sucking and kissing softly. He kissed gingerly down my ribs then to my stomach, planting a final kiss on my panty line. I looked down at him, his smug eyes meeting mine.

"So fuckin' perfect, baby." He spoke deeply, running his hands along my torso as his eyes traveled my body. I blushed at his praise, the puddle in my underwear growing by the second. Calum trailed his two hands slowly to my panties, his calloused fingertips dragging against my skin. I wiggled my hips eagerly at his teasing fingers, his index and middle fingers playing right underneath my waistband.

"Eager, love?" He chuckled at my incapability to stay still, beginning to drag my underwear down my legs slowly. My breath picked up at the chill air hitting my exposed heat.

"You're already dripping for me, baby." He smirked. I blushed in embarrassment at my neediness, looking down at Calum with a smile. He watched me carefully, bringing up a single finger to my slick folds. A small gasp escaped my lips at Calum's calloused touch, my back arching slightly.

"Hmm." I hummed softly at the new sensation, my eyes fluttering shut slowly.

Without warning, Calum brought his soft lips to mine between my legs, kissing deeply at my dripping mound.

"Fuck, Cal." I gasped, arching my back harder at the unexpected sensation. I tossed my head back in ecstasy. Calum hummed into my slit, his eyes closing as he began to swirl his tongue around my clit. I threw a hand down to his hair, my fingers interlocking tightly with his curly locks. I watched him in awe as he so effortlessly worked his mouth against me, his hands traveling over my torso and thighs tenderly.

He opened his eyes, looking up at me as he performed his oral work on my heat. Calum let out a deep chuckle into my folds as I let out a loud whine. I ground my hips into his mouth, his lips and my lower half quickly finding a steady rhythm with each other.

Calum pulled away from my dripping slit abruptly, bringing his face back up to mine with a smile.

"Scoot up, baby." He ordered gently, wiping the slick from his mouth with a quick thumb. He assisted me in moving to the head of the bed, keeping me on my back. I watched him as I caught my breath, his quick movements in tossing off his t-shirt and jeans. He sat back on his knees, placing my legs on both sides of him.

"Fuck, babygirl." He growled under his breath, running his hands along my thighs. His eyes wandered across my body intensely, making me self consciously move my arms and legs in an attempt to hide myself from his gaze. Calum furrowed his brows at my insecure actions, gripping my wrists bluntly and placing them on each side of my head.

"No, Lemme' see all of you. I want every piece of that perfect body." He spoke deeply, trailing his hands down my torso again gently. I blushed at his admiration, clenching my thighs together at the sight before me.

Calum placed two hands under my knees swiftly, pushing them up to spread my legs. I gasped at his sudden movement, giggling slightly at his eagerness. I watched with a half-agape mouth as he pulled his boxers down slowly, his erect member shooting up with excitement.

Keeping a hand under my knee, he used his other hand to guide himself to my entrance, running his tip along my slick folds teasingly. I let out a needy whine, bucking my hips closer to Calum's cock.

"Stop teasing." I whined softly through heavy breaths. Calum chuckled at my newfound neediness.

"Don't like being teased, love?" He cooed with a tilted head, prodding his tip slightly at my entrance. I whimpered at his continued taunting, gripping the sheets beside me impatiently.

I let out a sharp gasp as Calum swiftly pushed himself inside me fully, placing his free hand under my other knee. He watched me closely as he slowly began to catch a rhythm. My mouth fell open, emitting a series of whimpers at his unexpected entrance.

"Fuck, baby, you feel so good." He groaned, watching his now slick member pounding my hole rhythmically. My eyes fluttered shut, rolling back as Calum hit my walls repetitively.

Calum's brows furrowed as he focused on his thrusts, sweat beginning to bead at his forehead while his muscles flexed with each stroke. A loud whine followed by a curse escaped my lips as Calum kept up his pace.

"You sound so pretty taking my cock, baby." He smirked, watching me with admiration, "God, you're fuckin' perfect." He finished under his breath in a growl. Calum sped up his pace, bringing a thumb down to my throbbing clit. I tossed my head back at Calum's quick circles being worked on my sensitive bud.

"Fuck, yes, Cal." I whined between thrusts. My eyes opened lazily, watching Calum in awe as he pounding me vigorously. His eyes were glued to my body as if he was looking at a never before seen masterpiece in a gallery. His mouth was dropped into an "O", his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

My walls began to clench around his shaft, making my toes curl as Calum kept up his steady pace. He let out a small chuckle as he noted my approaching climax.

"Gonna cum, baby?" He spoke deeply, quickening his pace with his thumb. I nodded frantically, knowing if I tried to speak, it would just be whining and moaning.

"Cum for me, babygirl. Let go around my cock for me." He growled, leaning down closer to my face. I let out a loud moan, tossing my head back with an arching back, releasing intensely around Calum's shaft. I gripped the sheets tightly, Calum keeping up his rhythm for his own climax.

"That's my pretty girl." He smirked through a heavy breath, "So pretty when you cum for me.".

He watched his own pounding cock with furrowed brows, the sounds and views of my overstimulated whines and body pushing him to his own finish. Calum came with a series of curses and groans, falling back to sitting on his knees after pulling his tired member out of me lazily.

Calum scooted up beside me, our heavy breathing mixing with the sound of the white noise filling the room. He looked at me lovingly as he caressed my arm with a sluggish finger.

We let a few moments of comfortable silence and catching our breath pass before I turned my head to him as he spoke.

"You're so pretty." He flashed a cheeky grin, though he was being genuine, his childlike expression emitted a giggle from me.

"I'm being serious." He urged with a half joking tone, sitting up in his seat slightly. I sighed, looking at his features closely. Remembering all of the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with.

"I love you, Cal." I smiled with a chuckle, planting a lazy kiss on his arm.

"I love you, more.".

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smuttyaf · 6 months

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SouthSide Serpent

Word Count: 4.8k

Rating: R

features; childhood friends to lovers, loverboy ashton, literally ashton has been pining for y/n, & sum good old smut :)

a/n: idek what to say but hi! i’ve been in retirement for like 4 years and rediscovered this account. i got nostalgic & decided… shit why not write again?

please cut me sum slack tho! i wrote this on my notes app & it’s been years since i’ve written so i would love to hear feedback!

& yes i am hella descriptive and like to build suspense! i can’t help it >.<

also! y/n is heavily based on serena from mtv downtown ( i love her ) & this picture of ashton ( xx )

The crisp October breeze blew through your hair as the dull taste of your cigarette burns on your tongue; your forefinger and middle finger clenching the nicotine filled paper and pressing it against your lips, drawing in the vapour.

Your head nods along to the music playing before you just two doors down on the opposite side of your street. There was Ashton and his band, either playing covers of their current favourite songs, oldies, or new ones that they’ve all come together and created.

The usual guitar flow and drum beat of Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs blasted through the speakers in the garage as the sound of Luke’s voice sang along on top of the tune.

You hum along to the lyrics as you glared in the direction, your lips peeling away from the filter and letting the smoke settle in your lungs before releasing it. The four boys were all dressed in their usual attire: white shirt, black trousers, beat up old chunky Doc Martins, and their signature SouthSide Serpents leather jackets.

As the wind picks up again you let your free hand tear away from your windowsill and tug the flying strays of your hair in front of your face behind your ear, the chipped black polish on your almond nails coming into view as you remind yourself you needed to get them done.

The bridge of the song is now blaring down the street, causing you to raise your cigarette back to your lips and think to yourself, what a coincidence this song is playing; the lyrics, the time frame, and the memories that all come flowing back as you hear the familiar melody.

It was 2009 and Ashton had invited you over during Christmas break to play Garage Band since Santa gifted it to him because that was the only thing he asked for on his wish list. You were both 8, banging on the drums and singing songs that you both were too young to know or remember from when your parents would play them on the drive home from school. But, for some reason this is the song that stuck with you both the most. Maybe it was the easy lyrics or the amazing beat but from then on it had you hooked to this alternative sound.

Now fast forward to a year ago, your now ex boyfriend Xavier was laying on your bed, finger pads heavy weight on your skin as he drew sloppy hearts on your hip. The wire of the headphones tangled between your shoulder and his wrist as you both listened to his playlist. The familiar intro notes to the song beginning to ring throughout the buds and the tug of your maroon lined lips turn into a smile.

“Already like the song?” He asked, brown eyes rested on top of dark circles scattered with freckles as he smirked down at you.

“I love it.” You sheepishly said.

The wind knocks you back into reality as it pushes through your window again, only making you remember how much you loved October; the weather changing, leaves blooming, smell of the rain just before it hit the concrete, the sound of the leaves dragging along the pavement, and the endless horror movie marathons that would run on AMC.

The orange, brown, and green leaves spin in the breeze and rustle along the branches as the sun stood brightly among the houses along the horizon. From your view on the windowsill you can see houses upon houses before you see the local water tower and old plazas that scream they need new merchant signs and fresh cement.

Your eyes flick to the lonesome string popping out of your black long sleeve before the sound of your phone’s text tone goes off, your eyes darting to the message running across the screen.

Stop watching me

Ashton’s text read, making you roll your eyes before placing them on the dark hair boy who had a goofy grin on his face from your view, his drum sticks were stuffed in one had and the other held his lit up phone.

With a smile on yours, you let the hand that rested in the crook of your neck tear away from the warm flesh and your middle finger stand in the air as a response.

Clothes were thrown in every direction of your room as you let your eyes drag along your frame in the mirror, your loose knitted black sweater hung off one of your shoulders as low waisted charcoal jogging pants rested on your hips. Your hair was in its loose waves as your curtain bangs swept against your temples, your fingers curling into themselves in frustration as you tried to not stress over how you look.

You didn’t want to over enhance your appearance to see Xavier since he wanted to meet up to get “closure” -even though he was the one who called it off despite your many pleas- but you wanted to make him feel bad for even deciding to drop you.

A frustrated sigh left your wine stained lips before turning around and sticking your feet into your ruined Converse. The low muffled sound of Xavier’s Prelude is heard out your window and you feel your heart drop.

You never understood why you always felt this way about him and why you couldn’t just get over this stupid boy who likes to break up with you every other month, a new reason every single time. The constant tears, text threads, and blocking to unblocking seemed to never get exhausting to you because you were always back in the same place, wondering if you overdressed to see your ex for closure.

The chime of Xavier’s specific text tone rings through your room and you already know what it says, so without checking you twisted your foot into your shoe to fit perfectly before you reach over and grasp your phone in your hand and tug your way to the window sill. Fingers pressing the frame up and letting the fall air sweep into your room before crouching down and fitting yourself through the frame and safely scale down the roof, onto the sturdy vine wall filled with dead clematis that prickled on your palms the way down before your feet landed on the short cut grass.

As you turned away from the wall and begin tugging your feet towards the black coupe, your eyes catch on the tall frame standing on their front step as an amber light glows slightly illuminating his face. You already know this is Ashton, so with a slight smile you let your index finger rest against your coated lips, a gesture to him to be quiet.

The only response he gives is his head nodding off to the side with smoke trailing out of his mouth.

The smile quickly falls as your fingers clench the car door handle and tug it open, the smell of him crashing down on you as you sit in the familiar leather, the hum of the engine vibrating under you as the car peels off.

The tinge of tequila burned on your buds as you felt the room spinning, the sound of chatter and shouts are heard from below you as the bass of Destroy Lonely’s song can be heard in the room you barged into when you gave up on waiting for Tabitha; who said she wouldn’t be long with the curly haired new kid in her history class.

Red solo cup was loosely clenched in your right hand as left was lazily running through your hair at random moments as you laid against the cottage floral bed sheets.

Here you were, back in the same spot you always found yourself in: drunk, heartbroken, and thinking about a boy who doesn’t even care about you. The constant routine of wanting him, then wanting to be far away but craving him every other second burned into your heart. The comfort and familiarity of him that you missed always overlooked every excuse he gave you whenever he broke things off.

Last month he said he needed time to himself, this month he told you that he was confused and didn’t know what he wanted; frankly he lost feelings for you, at least that was what he says now. Those words kept on replaying in your mind as if that was your favourite song. The way he sounded emotionless yet unsure that, that was what he really wanted.

And just with those thoughts, tears were flowing down your temples. Eyes blurring as the voice replayed in your head, the memory of him sitting beside you and saying that, to then recollect memories of how sweet and endearing the boy you loved in the beginning grew cold to your touch and looked into your hopeful eyes with detached ones.

The popcorn ceiling was fuzzy in your sight as the tears spill over your waterline and beads down the sides of your face. You already knew your cheeks were heated up, the liner and eyeshadow that was occupying your bottom lashes was smudged and probably slipping away with the liquid as a sniffle wrinkled through your nose.

God you hated this; the empty feeling of missing someone who you know you shouldn’t want but yet crave so badly. Why him? Why you?

As you were deep in thought you hear the rustle of the door knob before it turns and the music that pours from outside reaches into the empty depths of the room, the sound of footsteps halting and a sharp intake of breath being heard, but you don’t dare look away at the ceiling. Frankly, you could care less about who sees you crying your eyes out on this outdated duvet with ruined make up.

“Fuck my bad!… Wait Y/N?” The recognizable voice of your childhood friend is heard before the door is closing shut.

The weight of him sinks next to you on the bed as you let your eyes close and the final stream of tears leave your eyes.

“I look desperate don’t I.” You state, voice raspy from the strain in your throat as the usual feeling of a ball is formed.

“I think you look sad,” He points out, making you snort as the hand that was lazily playing in your hair tears away and feels the sheet below you.

“No shit,” You mumble before letting your eyes peel open.

“You and Xavier broke up again?” Ashton questions, the sound of his zippers clashing from his jacket as he shuffles around.

You only hum in response before you let both of your arms sit you up on the bed, your back standing straight as your hands cradle the solo cup. Your eyes stare down at your ruined pantyhose beneath your mini lace black skirt before they flicker to look at the hazel boy.

Eyes connecting with yours, you hear his breath hitch as he draws in your appearance. Cheeks with a glow of cherry red sweeping the bones under your eyes that are damp with black eyeshadow, your eyes were still puffy and red rimmed as they batted slowly up at him.

“He doesn’t know what he wants,” You let out, your eyes rolling before letting your plum coloured lips take a sip of the warm mixture of Pepsi and tequila.

“Oh?” He says in confusion, bushy eyebrows coming together trying to figure out how that could be since he saw you two together three nights ago.

“I’m so sick of being with these screwed up guys all the time,” You state, hand tearing away from the cup to dig your nails into the rips of your stockings.

“Really?”

“I have such crummy luck or taste? What is it with girls like me? All a guy has to say is, he can’t express his feelings or he listens to Deftones and it’s like my head tips right over and my brain start to slip out of my ear.”

Ashton lets out laugh, the beer bottle he’s holding by the neck resting on his knee as he stares down at you. “So which one is Xavier?”

“Both,” You scoff while sticking out your tongue in disgust.

“You know… if you wanted to, I’m sure you could have a different great guy to go out with every night,” Ashton assures, a smirk tugging on your lips as you decide to ignore the glint of promise in his eyes.

“No way, I’ve always been a mess. Remember Cleo?” Your second boyfriend that seemed to be stuck on your hip but ironically found someway to cheat on you every weekend yet you still dumbly went back to him every. single. time.

The feeling of your sheer button up rubs against your arm as you let your hand fall against your hip and feel your black crop top tight to your skin.

“Maybe you just need to talk to someone who isn’t your usual type,” Ashton points out. Your head nods a few beats as your thick wedged heeled boots run over the wooden flooring.

“Maybe I’ll be luckier if I tried dating someone nice for a change,” Voice hopeful as your eyes dart away from the bubbly dark liquid into Ashton’s brown hues.

“Nice guys,” Ashton says with a smile, both of his hands tearing away from his knees as if to gesture to himself in this equation.

A laugh escapes your lips before your eyes run over Ashton’s frame from head to toe.

“What are you getting at Irwin?” You say with a pointed brow, playing stupid to the implication.

“Oh nothing..” He sings while tearing his eyes from yours, toothy smile still spread on his lips before he takes a swing of his beer.

You shake your head with annoyance before your hazy eyes look down at your lap, your hands resting on the cup and drumming a random tune.

“Honestly Y/N… I think you’re a really great girl and…. I just think maybe…” His words a scrambled mess and trailing off. You smile to yourself before turning to look back at him.

“Mm?” You question, the fifteen percent liquor coursing through your bloodstream and giving you confidence as you lean into this chest, eyes never tearing away from his. Because if Ashton was going to give you hopeful eyes and stuttering speeches you might as well put the ‘nice guy’ to the test and see if he was really about what he said.

That only made his lips break into a smirk, his tongue sneakily gladding along his bottom lip to wet it before looking into you daringly.

That only made you squish your plucked eyebrows together in question. How did the stuttering boy from just a view seconds ago all of a sudden turn cocky and confident? How many drinks did he have? Or was it the weed that clung to his jacket that gave him the boost.

“I think you should give me a chance,” He nips back, and before you can even respond to him, you watch his neck crane down and press his lips against yours.

The crisp taste of his beer stung your lips as they opened and immediately danced along with his tongue. White liquor and brown meeting together to taste each other and leave an acquired flavour in your mouths.

You hummed along to the feeling of his tongue circling against yours before peeling away and molding your lips to sink against each other. Your heart was beating through your chest, nails now digging into your plastic cup and head ducked back as you continue to press your mouth against his.

The feeling of his cold hand pressing against your neck caused you to shudder and tear away from his lips for a second, your eyes peeling open as they look in front of you. Black hair loosely falling on his forehead, the smell of his husky cologne clogging your senses, and the feeling of his fingers now dancing along the back of your neck.

“What are we doing Ash?” You breathe against his lips.

“Something that I’ve always wanted to do,” He says, making your heart launch. You bite down on your bruised lip and tear your eyes away from his, your stomach twist as you try and gain some self control as you almost fling yourself on top of him.

Something that he always wanted to do? You never really found yourself desirable to the point we’re men would see you in that type of light? But maybe what Ash said was just a simple lie, just so he can get what he wants and frankly you don’t even care. You’ve heard lies your whole entire life when it came to boys and this wasn’t any different, maybe you should just let your mind shut off from your stupid ex and just be in the moment for once.

So with that final thought, not having a care in the world, you drop the red cup in your hand and let your lips launch back onto his. Ashton follows your movements and the sound of the nearly empty beer bottle drops onto the hard wood, his right hand now resting along your neck as you both kiss each other.

Warm breaths, beating hearts and the sound of music is the only thing heard in the room as you lick into each others mouths. Soon you feel the weight of Ashton nudging you to lay back on the bed as he lies on top, you feel the cold zippers from his jacket press against your skin and all you can do is moan.

The feeling of his left hand tears away from the hairs on the nape of your neck and dance down your collar bone before letting it cup your breast in his hand, kneading the soft tissue which only makes another moan slip through you.

He pulls away from your lips and begins to suck and press kisses along your pulse, your hands that lie by your side now running up the sleeves of his jacket and into his hair.

A whimper spills out as you feel his hand tug your tank down and free your naked breast, he engulfs it in his cold palm making you let a shaky breath escape before you’re curling your fingers in his hair, the feeling of him twisting your nipple makes you bite down on your bottom lip. The pleasurable pain you feel running up your spine making your shoulders slightly buck off the bed.

“Hmm…” Ashton hums in your neck before tearing away, his eyes once such a light brown and green hue, now a chestnut and forest green colour filled with lust.

Your fingers tug away from his hair as he now descends down your body, his warm lips pressing kisses to your exposed skin as you let your hands tear your blouse and tank off. Your eyes never leaving his as he watches you undress. His lips now press against your pieced belly button as his fingers tear away from your chest and roughly takes your skirt by the band and peels it down your hips, your stockings following soon after.

Not wasting a moment he lets his mouth press against you covered core, lips pressing small kisses against your heat making you quietly moan. You wanted so desperately to tug Ashton into you and make him start devouring you right there but instead you let your hands trail back into his hair and play around with his locks.

Small kisses soon turn into open mouth licks, his wet muscle running up and down your clothed slit that it had your head digging back into the sheets, your legs spreading wider and whimpers endlessly trailing out.

“Ash.. please..” The words slip out so quiet that you assume he didn’t hear from the pulsing music below you, but instead your met with the feeling of his finger pulling your panties to the side and his tongue finally meeting you were you desired.

It circles around your clit gently before you feel his lips suck it into his mouth, a moan drawls from your throat due to the sensation. Soon enough, he’s letting his mouth discover the way you taste which only elects a moan from him. His tongue now dipping in between your two lips and curling around your insides.

“Oh my,” You moan as your fingers dig into his hair, eyes closing shut as you begin to slowly move your hips to the movement of his tongue.

The feeling of his right hand breaks away from your thigh and flows to your hips, his nails leaving small indents as you feel his other hand move away from your panty and rub against your clit.

The feeling of him humming against you sends a vibrating pleasure down your back as he continues to lick you, this only made your toes curl and your hands to fall out of his hair and onto his leather shoulders.

“Fuck,” You moan, your hands tugging him gently away from you as you feel your climax about to overcome your nerves.

And just as you feel it on the tip of your toes, the mouth between your legs pulls away beginning to press wet kisses up your thigh, his hand that once laid against your heat now meeting with the other at your hips.

A groan leaves you as your eyes tear open and look down at him. He mischievously looks up at you, his kisses now run up your stomach once again to lead to your neck.

“Upset?” He teases, only making you shudder at the rasp in his voice.

“I want you Ash,” You say breathlessly, turning your head to knock his out the way and look him in the eyes. “Please,” You utter, fingers now leaving his shoulders and brushing against his rip cage covered by his white tee.

Without any hesitation, Ashton is pulling away from your embrace and leaning back. He shrugs off his jacket, tugs his shirt over his head, his fingers going to the back of his baggy jeans to pull out his wallet to dig through before you see a gold package flash. If your cheeks could burn any brighter they differently would.

The mixture of his clothes and yours are strung through out the room, both of your shoes kicked to the bottom of the bed as he now shuffles his way back up to his original position.

Without question your hand meets the band of his boxers as you begin to inch them down his waist, wanting to return the favour.

“I think that can wait love, I rather be in you right now,” He breathes against your neck, only making your heart stutter. A sheepish smile tugs at your lips as you feel him twist around and lay on his side, his hands laying on your hips, turning you into the same position.

Your head rested on his arm as your back laid against his chest, hips aligned with each other as the feeling of his smell overcomes you. His knees prop up your legs as you hear the tearing of the condom package.

Deciding to distract yourself you let your eyes fall looking at Ashton. His black hair a tossed mess from your fingers, hazel eyes drawn to wear you both meet as he begins to run his member against your heat.

A whimper leaves your lips as you close your eyes when you feel him push inside, his hand now propping up your thigh as he eases into you.

He nudges your head forward and begins sucking kisses down the expanse of your neck, the feeling of his heart beating against your back and the smell of his sweat mixed with his cologne was filling your nose.

“Feels so good,” He mumbles against your skin, his arm that rested under your head turning slightly as he runs his hand against your wrist and takes your fingers into his, lacing them together as you continue to feel him stretch you out.

You never expected Ashton to have a thick piece but you also didn’t expect to be in this exact position right now, literally. Your childhood friend having his way with you while you were both drunk off each other and the alcohol in your systems.

His hips meet your backside before drawing back and pushing back in, your walls expanding with each thrust as you feel him begin a good pace. Moans begin to fall from your mouth, your eyes fluttering open every few seconds as your skin burns from the bruises soon to appear on your pulse from the black haired man beside you, skin still stuck to his lips.

“You’re moans are so pretty,” He breathes against you, his hand that was holding up your thigh runs up your hips to your chest, letting your leg fall as he takes one of your breasts and squeezes it gently.

All you can do is hum at his words because you’re too overstimulated to speak. The feeling of his thickness drawing in and out of you so heavily has you nodding off at the sensation, his fingers intertwined with yours beings to squeeze them together as the hand that was on your breast meets with his head at your neck.

“You like me fucking you,” He says into your ear as his hand squeezes your throat gently.

You nod your head as you feel your eyes slip close, and you were completely wrecked. He was so dirty yet gentle with you, peppering you with kisses yet digging into you so devilishly that it had your mind distraught.

“You like the way I feel inside you,” He continues, his hand growing more tight around your throat.

“Ash…” You say breathlessly, as your hand that rested against the bed sheets rises up and places it against the one making you breathless but encouraging your climax.

“Mm I like the way you feel around me,” He eggs on, and that makes you cry out, your back pushing pack and meeting his hips.

The feeling of your stomach twitching and legs quivering to close makes your head tip back even more against Ashton as you feel your orgasm on the brink.

That has him taking his hand away from your throat and slips it to lift your thigh back up as he continues to thrust into you, his lips press more kisses against your neck.

Your toes curl as the knot in your stomach expands and releases, the satisfying sensation washing over you as you let a deep breath break through your lips with a moan.

“Fuck,” Ashton hisses as he feels you twitch around him, the contractions from your high throwing him into his; his hips stutter before rocking back into you slowly, teeth gently digging into your skin, his breath being blown over the expanse of it.

The thickness of him slips out which causes your eyes to open, his hand dropping your thigh to wrap around your hips as his head buries into your neck.

The room is quiet for a moment as the only thing that can be heard is your hearts calming down and the chatter from down below.

“I would give you more kisses but I’ve made a mess on your neck,” His voice vibrates against you, that only makes you let out a broken laugh.

“I don’t even wanna know what it looks like,” You reply, your hand that rested on the duvet linking with his that rest along your stomach.

This felt nice, the amazing sex and cuddling session after. The room just being quiet and the only thing that can be heard is your breaths and beating hearts. This was so spontaneous that you still can’t even wrap your mind around what happened.

“How would you feel about doing this more often?” Ashton says after a few minutes, his chest moving as he pulls his head away from your neck to lie back against the pillows.

Having casual sex with him? You ponder on the idea. It was definitely one of the best you have ever had, he felt amazing and checked off every box when it came to how to please you. You couldn’t even lie and say that you didn’t find Ash attractive, you are also now officially single, free to due what we you wanted, so fuck it.

“Like… Friends with benefits?” You say, your thumb running against his hand still linked with yours by your head.

“Yeah, friends with benefits,” He confirms.

You let your head swish from side to side as you feel the burning sensation of his love bites strain against your neck as you let out a sarcastic hum to yourself as if you’re thinking it over.

“I wouldn’t mind that.”

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latenightdev1l · 3 months

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hi everyone !!

is the 5sos fandom still active on tumblr ?? because if so im taking requests ! will write anything within reason

fluff, smut, angst, headcanons, fics .etc.

lmk !! 😽😽

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cringefaecompilation · 4 months

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imogen and laudna being like "OMG GUYS YOU SHOULD MAKE OUT" for the past month towards fearne and ashton but then when fearne and ash DID both transform they both were immediately like "oooh wow! this is so cool! yay! playing and frolicking tee hee :)"

#🍃#critical role #critrole #cr spoilers #i saw someone in the tags say 'here's how fearnepal can still win' and it made me giggle a lot #this is not ship hate at all but i so prefer it being like this instead of them feeling like they need to be a couple immediately #also the HA HA YOU WANNA BE INSIDE HER RIGHT ASHTON just felt like a laura joke she couldn't resist making i don't think it was that deep #unless all those times she bounced her eyebrows when widobrave did anything meant that was her otp

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ellenlandryy · 3 months

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#mmm.. 👀

#tglapppsedit #tglappps #the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society #filmedit #juliet ashton #dawsey adams #mark reynolds #my gifs #I guess she has a preference #I wasn't trying to be mean to mark lol but really tho #what is she gonna do with so many bouquets??#sometimes the simplest gestures mean a lot #edit: clearing my drafts from 2018 heheee whoops 🙃

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ijustwantaplacetorantinpeace · 6 months

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(purely rambling about the characters. I don't know the CR cast so why would I pretend to know the feelings of real human beings)

It's interesting that the decided main source of fucked up ness has been Ashton taking the shard over Fearne, despite Fearne literally stating that she thinks the shard belongs to Ashton in the clock tower. (And also her fear of becoming evil Fearne. That chat with Delilah the night before certainly wouldn't have helped her mental state)

I think the actual source of fucked up ness is that Ashton made Fearne essentially promise to watch them die and not get any help no matter what, all while claiming it was because they didn't want her Nana Morri to be left alone. (Also a note that Fearne was on board with it being Ashton, but started second guessing it when she realized Ashton wanted to keep it secret. I'm thinking that was the moment Fearne really realized what Ashton had asked her to do)

Funnily enough the earlier comment Chetney made to FCG about why he's still around really applies here. Sure, Ashton is fine, happy even, if other people are helped by their actions. But really they just want to be the hero. (to be more than a Nobody, perhaps?)

Ashton certainly likes Fearne, but if they loved her in the way she seemingly loves them, he'd never have put her in that situation.

Regardless of the long term outcome, a truly wild choice. It is fully in character for Ashton to blow past all warning signs like they're DW in an Arthur meme.

#critical role spoilers #cr 3 #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #added note: i really don't care about ships. So my preferences (which are non-existent) aren't affecting this mini analysis #Certainly curious about how this is going to impact future events #tbh I really want Ashton to cause fire damage to people who touch them. (as in what the shard used to do)#There'll be benefits to of course - though funniest outcome is it just being a cosmetic makeover

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calscruel · 2 months

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i’m livin’ for the thrill, formula

screws are loose

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opal-punk · 1 year

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gee orym

how come you get THREE tall parnters

#orym of the air ashari #ashton greymoore #dorian storm #ashrym #dorym #i prefer ashrym because i know that fynamic better but dorym is also v cute #instert the picture of the hamster w the banana

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densitywell · 4 months

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i admit i wld not love it either way, but i do think all the callow/moore pushing by the other cast members would be less grating if it was a little more clever than just, "omg you guys totally want to have sex with each other right now don't you. destiny clearly says you're soulmates so obviously you should fuck immediately"

#also the exclusive focus on banging is. odd. in general it feels like the actual serious and fragile place fearne and ashton are at #in their relationship is being ignored in favor of treating it like their real issue is just some generic will-they-won't-they thing #idk if someone said they'd prefer they had died over having hurt this other person.#'you want to stick your dick in her right?' feels like an insane choice for a followup question. to me.#honestly if i was super into callow/moore i think i'd like it even less than i already do for exactly that reason #crposting #cr spoilers

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quill-n · 7 months

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[ID] A digital painting of Karlach from Baldur's Gate 3. She is holding a pose while flexing, with one hand placed on her opposite bicep. She's also smiling brightly at the viewer. [end ID]

I know literally NOTHING about this character but I just. needed to draw her, y'know? (<- hasn't played Baldur's gate 3)

closeup because I like how the rendering on her face turned out <3

[ID] A closeup screenshot of the previous image, specifically of Karlach's face. [end ID]

#barbarian woman hot ok?#like literally in this case but also . every case #I like. muscle women :)#quillnart #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #karlach #I like my barbarians like I like my coffee. with an intelligence less than 10 #(that's not entirely true; Yasha and Ashton have a special place in my heart #but I do prefer it when my coffee isn't sentient)#(ugh wait that statement implies thag 10 is the minimum int stat for sentience. that's not true #hm. I like my barbarians sentient and I like my coffee *not* sentient.#yeah)

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ouatx5sos · 1 year

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Luke Hemmings || secret relationship

masterlist

Pairing: Luke x Fem!reader

Summary: you and Luke have been in a secret relationship for 4 months until he accidentally reveals your secret during an interview.

Warnings: none

“There was one time on tour Y/N got lost, it was the funniest thing” Luke laughed along with the boys, the whole interview was about their latest tour but the blonde struggled to talk about anything but you. The pair had been dating for 4 months, it was more of a secret relationship; not even the boys found out.

“We love having her join, Luke seems at his happiest when she’s around, you should see how moody he is when she’s not around!” Calum spoke up making all the others laugh and the embarrassed love smitten boy blush.

“Well it’s not my fault she’s so amazing; when you’re in love with someone who makes your heart race or someone who just makes you so happy and loved! Over the past 4 months I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so much- I just love her so much” my mouth dropped and the others including the interviewers eyes widened.

My phone started buzzing like crazy, my Twitter was going insane everyone tweeting about the interview that decided to be live today, of all days! “Uh Luke, you’re forgetting this is live” Michael awkwardly coughed.

Laughs erupted the room and Luke’s cheeks couldn’t be anymore red. “Well” he coughed. “I guess that’s out- uh yeah, Y/N and I have been dating and I’m surprised no one figured it out.” He shrugged making eye contact with me.

Once the interview was over they said their goodbyes and ran over to me pulling me into his arms. “I’m sorry about love; I know you weren’t ready yet” luke pouted kissing the top of my head.

“They would’ve found out eventually” I shrugged leaning up to kiss him. “At least it was you and not me” I teased.

“Great!” Ashton exclaimed with a disgusted look on his face. “Now we’ve got to endure the gross relationship and lovey dovey shit” he physically cringed and I rolled my eyes.

“You love it really-after all you’re the one who tried to set us up”

#5SOS #5 seconds of summer #imagines #preferences #calum hood #lukehemmings #ashton irwin #michael clifford #blurbs #5SOS imagines #5sos blurbs #5sosimagines #foryoupage

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ughkat · 7 months

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bleach - c.t.h

part one

calum x fem!reader

basically y/n and calum broke up bc of her mental health but they still see each other, and y/n suspects calum is already seeing new people and is jealous

tw: mental health talk, depression, anxiety, self image, eating, dissociation, breakup talk

over all cw: angst, smut, kissing, petnames, ex!calum, smoking, drinking, swearing,

not proofread

My mind grew numb and the sounds around me faded slowly to white noise. I glared blankly at my bedroom wall ahead of me following waking up fifteen minutes prior. I listened to my shallow breaths rise and fall as my few moments of peaceful absentminded dissociation shifted itself into an anxious pit in my stomach. A feeling I was all too familiar with. I let out a breath while the routine numbing emotion and inevitable dread slowly fell over me, blinking out of my trance.

All I could think of to aide my overwhelming sense of drowning was the boy causing it. I felt stuck in a cycle knowing my low wouldn't be so catastrophic if it wasn't for my "break" with Calum. He believed our 2 year relationship was taking a toll on me mentally, saying I needed time to care for myself and so did he. I've had my own share of mental health struggles prior to him, of course, though the sudden change of direction with the two of us didn't help the fire. I could tell it was almost just as hard for him as it was for me, being he still comes and sees me frequently. He never ended anything on bad terms, thankfully.

However, I can't shake the feeling that Calum only part ways with me because I was too difficult to handle, not for my best interest.

I reached for my phone beside me, checking the time. I scolded myself mentally for how long I let myself sleep through the day. At the top of my notifications, a message notification from Calum lit up the screen. I perked up slightly at the sight, his presence giving me an ounce of life back into my veins.

"Are you up yet? I wanna come see you today."

I half smiled at the message, it's words momentarily distracting myself from the sinking feeling inside of me. I slid open the notification before responding.

"I'm up. Give me 10."

I tossed my phone back onto my bed, letting out a sigh. I lolled my head to the side tiredly, unmotivated to leave my spot on my bed. Using every inch of power in me, I sat up from my bed, skipping the shower and head to my closet.

I rummaged lazily thought clean clothes, grabbing another pair of sweat pants and a large t shirt. Briefly checking my face in my mirror, I ignored my appearance, unwilling to battle my self conscious thoughts at the moment.

I flopped myself back into my bed, opening my phone once again to a message from Calum.

"Omw."

My stomach fluttered at the thought of him alone, him being one of the driving factors motivating me to be a functional person. All I wanted was Calum. Everything in my mind was him. Every second of my day, I was thinking about Calum. I shamed myself for the amount of self awareness I had about my feelings towards my ex boyfriend, yet choosing to not move on.

I had my suspicions that Calum felt the same, knowing if he didn't, there was no way he'd still be so kind, let alone come see me so often. We knew as a unit that we weren't together, and had no intentions of being back together, yet we couldn't seem to stay away from each other.

I scrolled aimlessly on my phone awaiting Calum's arrival as I heard his signature three knocks at my door. I jumped up pathetically quick at his presence, heading to the front door. I looked up as I opened the door, revealing Calum with a half warm smile.

"Hey, kid." He greeted, bringing me in for a hug. I smiled uncontrollably at the name he so often used for me as he wrapped his arms snugly around my neck, rubbing his hand on my head. I embraced him around the waist, burying my face into his chest with an exhausted whine. I pulled back and stepped to the side, inviting him in before shutting the door behind us. He had a generously sized grocery bag filled with various snacks and drinks. I motioned with my hand towards my room, guiding his way to where we most frequented. I repositioned myself at the head of my bed, criss crossed as Calum took a seat in front of me.

"I brought some snacks." He set the bag down, motioning with his head, "Those candies you like." He looked up at me with a cheeky smile. I giggled softly, shaking my head.

"Thanks." I spoke, "I'm not that hungry.". Calum furrowed his eyebrows, tilting his head with suspicion.

"It's 2 PM, when was the last time you ate? I know you're hungry." He urged softly. I rolled my eyes playfully, brushing off his concerns quickly. I tried my best to play off my sinking feeling to avoid feeling like a problem. Calum looked at me deeply before scooting in closer.

"Really, though. How are you?" He asked genuinely. I looked up at him, studying his expression. His eyes squinted as he patiently waited for my response.

"I don't know." I shrugged, "I'm okay." I began to anxiously fidget at the plastic bag between us, avoiding his eyes.

"You don't look okay." He replied in a serious tone, "I've been worried about you.". I let out a sigh and let my eyes wander the room aimlessly, I tried frantically to seem nonchalant.

"I don't know, breakups can be hard, Cal." I muttered, trying my best to excuse my elongated low period. Calum shook his head, sitting up slightly.

"No, this is more than that." He spoke, moving his head to meet my eyes. I glanced up to him, biting the inside of my cheek.

"You're not sleeping, when you do you sleep until the late afternoon, you're barely eating, you look exhausted..." He rambled, talking with his hands. I began to feel a lump form in my throat, the feeling of being a problem starting to take over. I darted my eyes to my hands fidgeting in my lap, blinking tears away from the corners of my eyes.

"The breakup was supposed to help you work on this, not make it worse." He watched me closely, hesitant with his words. I tear quickly escaped my eye before I brought a fast hand to my fast, wiping it swiftly. Calum's posture softened.

"Hey." He spoke softly, placing a hand on my knee, "I'm sorry." He sighed. I shook my head, already feeling embarrassed for letting myself cry so easily.

"I just want you to be okay." He placed a hand under my chin, moving my eyes to his. I blinked quickly to rid of any tears trying to fall. Calum moved his hand to the side of my face, brushing his thumb on my cheek softly, "That's all I want.". I looked at Calum briefly before falling into his chest dramatically, his wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled into his chest. Calum shook his head.

"You're okay." He reassured, caressing my back gently with his hand. I let out a sigh before sitting up, wiping my face. Calum flashed me a warm smile before tilting his head.

"Will you at least eat snacks with me?" He sarcastically jutted his bottom lip out slightly. I uncontrollably let out a giggle, rolling my eyes.

"Fine.".

Calum and I were halfway through yet another terrible comedy movie after hours of pitiful laughter. We had made a dent in his haul of junk food and spent our time lazily in my bed.

My head turned between us at a ding ringing from Calum's phone. He moved quickly, silencing the phone's ringer before flipping it face down. I glanced back up to Calum, who had resumed his eyes to the screen in front of us. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion, though telling myself to ignore it. These things shouldn't bother me anymore. My impulse took the best of me as my words flowed uncontrollably.

"What was that?" I asked calmly, gesturing to Calum's phone. Calum looked at me, then down to his phone before forcing a fake expression.

"...Oh! Yeah, that was just a work message." He spoke, failing a "cool dude" attitude as his phone vibrated silently once more. I raised my eyebrows.

"Well shouldn't you check that?" I urged, tilting my head. My suspicions growing bigger and bigger by the second. Why do I care?

"Nah, I can get it later." He brushed off, glancing at the phone quickly. I hummed quietly as I watched his shifting body language. My mind began to race at the mysterious texts and who they could be from. Petty jealousy took over me, filling me with anger.

"What if it's important?" I pushed. Calum looked at me cross.

"Fine." He muttered, flipping the phone over. My eyebrows furrowed at the name which very obviously was not work.

"Rose?" I exaggerated, sitting up in my seat. Calum let out a sigh and looked to his side before speaking.

"Yeah, she's a coworker." He explained loosely. I narrowed my eyes, not buying his story.

"Right." I started. Before I could gather my thoughts, Calum stood up from my bed abruptly.

"I gotta head out, kid." He sighed, avoiding my eyes. I scoffed in disbelief.

"Really?" I argued. Calum paused at my door.

"I'm sorry. I'll see you later, okay?" He spoke genuinely before exiting my room. I stared at my door blankly until I heard the latch of the front entrance, indicating his exit.

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